Marlena sat on the sofa reading while trying to pretend that the noise and clamoring going on in the kitchen wasn’t driving her insane. Without fail, every second something slammed shut, fell to the ground and even found itself broken in the trash.
She and John had been at odds all week because of a little white lie and while Marlena could forgive John for his dishonesty, she struggled with how myopic and selfish he was behaving. How could he not see her point of view? How could he not understand why she was so incensed? Like all other issues they’d faced over the last 35 years, this one too would pass, but when?
“Damn it! Who put the damn butter in the refrigerator! Cold butter doesn’t spread,” yelled John to himself in the kitchen.
Marlena sat on the sofa listening to John’s tantrum and didn’t know how much more she could take. She suddenly heard the crash of pots and pans before John came out the kitchen in a huff, grabbed his coat and headed for the door.
“I’m going to grab breakfast at the pub! I hope they have soft butter and a decent cup of coffee since I can’t get that here!” he said as he left their condo slamming the door behind him.
Marlena took a deep breath before reaching for her cell phone.
“Hi Marlena. How’s John feeling?” asked Kayla.
“He’s acting like a raving lunatic. Are the results back yet? I don’t think I can take much more of this,” said Marlena.
It had been 2 days since John’s extensive checkup with Kayla. Marlena wanted to understand why John experienced tightness in his chest a few days ago while playing golf. John had the great fortune of having an episode while teeing off with Roman, who he’d sworn to secrecy.
“It’s nothing. Whatever you do, don’t tell Doc,” John begged. “You know how she is. I’ll go chat with Kayla and make sure everything is ok.”
“I’m not getting in the middle of this, but if Marlena finds out that I knew you had a heart attack and didn’t say anything…,” began Roman.
“It wasn’t a heart attack. It was just gas or heartburn. The old ticker is fine,” assured John.
“So long as you go see Kayla immediately,” pressured Roman.
John did go see Kayla and the EKG did show some things to be concerned about. It was at that moment that John made the decision to not tell Marlena about his incident at the golf course, or that he’d gotten questionable results and a list of limitations until they could isolate why he’d had an episode.
“I’m so sorry that you were put in this situation Marlena. John was just trying to spare you worry,” said Kayla.
“Kayla, I can forgive him for not wanting to worry me. What I am having a hard time with is getting him to understand why I feel betrayed,” said Marlena in exasperation. “We are supposed to have date night and we aren’t even speaking.”
Kayla lent a sympathetic ear. It was rare when the family therapist actually had the opportunity to vent and receive the latitude to have a meltdown. While Marlena had accepted the fact that she was always going to be held to a certain standard, it was refreshing to feel like everyone else.
“Well as you know, the first EKG was abnormal because of the imbalance in electrolyte minerals,” said Kayla apologetically. “It was the false positive that started this whole thing.”
“What started this whole thing was John not telling me about his episode with Roman at the golf course or that he thought he was in danger after the EKG,” said Marlena plainly. “I just need him to understand why this is a trigger for me.”
The truth of the matter was, Marlena still had nightmares to this very day about that dark period when she thought John had died. She never knew that her life could reach such a low point until she kissed his head for the last time and said goodbye. She never actually healed from that trauma and while she knew the lingering effects of PTSD, she like John ignored what was best for herself and pushed on. Marlena recognized her own hypocrisy and laughed at herself.
“I’m just glad that he’s ok. I know you told him to lay off the sugar and caffeine until you got the other test results back. I am praying that they will be today?” asked Marlena full of hope. “I know you have to speak to him about it, but the moment you get them, please let him know so that I can get through this chapter I’ve been trying to finish.”
She had been hopeful that she could use the newfound information she was reading in a manuscript written by a colleague on Sex after 70 to spice up date night, but with them not speaking, the reading seemed futile.
After concluding her conversation with Kayla, Marlena sat on the sofa for a few moments contemplating on how to bridge the disconnect with John. It had gone from bad to worse and lingered on for days. Usually, an apology and hot make-out session was enough to smooth things over, but Marlena felt strongly about her position and refused to budge until John accepted her point of view. Maybe that was her problem. Maybe it was because she refused to budge.
Unsure of exactly how she was going to make this right, Marlena decided to take matters into her own hands and push forward with date night. Grabbing her phone, she sent John a text; something she found most pubescent and impersonal. The fact was, she wanted to say something to him without having to hear the tone in his voice if he didn’t like what she had to say.
Marlena: Hi honey. Hope you enjoyed your coffee and breakfast. Are we still on for tonight?
Marlena looked at her phone anticipating a response and got nothing in the first few seconds. Suddenly, she felt like she was in high school again hoping that the guy she liked would pay her attention. The longer it took for John to reply, the more irritated she became.
2 minutes had passed, and John still hadn’t responded to Marlena’s text. Staring at the phone a little longer, she felt herself starting to get angry, which she knew was completely irrational and so not like her.
“Marlena, get a hold of yourself. Grow up. You can talk when he gets home,” she said trying to rationalize with herself.
Determined to roll out the red carpet for John’s return, Marlena went to their bedroom and began to pack an overnight bag for them. Maybe getting out of the city and a change of scenery would help ease the tension. After packing, Marlena went to check her phone and to her disappointment, John had not replied.
In the back of her mind, she knew that he was probably driving and couldn’t respond. Or perhaps he left the phone in the car and was out buying her flowers as a way of extending an olive branch. There was a litany of very plausible explanations as to why he had not responded and because of how childish they had both been behaving lately, her mind kept leading her to believe that John was simply ignoring her.
Staring at the phone for a moment, she contemplated calling him directly. “Just call him Marlena. Stop being a child. It’s not who speaks first loses,” she reminded herself and yet she couldn’t bring herself to hit send. “No, I text him and when he gets the message, he will call me. I’m not going to chase him and beg him to speak to me. He started this whole thing.” Marlena could feel her blood start to boil again. All John needed to do was respond.
An hour had passed and while Marlena had gotten through a good portion of the manuscript, she couldn’t focus because all she could think about was John and how much she missed him. She appreciated the house finally being quiet, but she couldn’t stand that it was only quiet because she and John were at odds. Grabbing her phone once more, she decided to send another text.
Marlena: Are you getting my messages?
Marlena stared at her phone and waited with bated breath. Enough was enough. If he wasn’t going to answer her texts, she sure as hell wasn’t going to allow her calls to roll over to voice mail. She grabbed her keys and decided to head over to the pub and make things right once and for all.
Marlena arrived at the pub and was surprised to see that the breakfast rush had passed and gone, and John was nowhere in sight. Catching the attention of one of the waitresses, Marlena put on a happy face although she was annoyed inside.
“Hi Amy. How are you?” asked Marlena with a forced smile. “Have you seen John?”
“Hi Dr. Evans. I haven’t seen him today,” she replied.
“He didn’t come for breakfast?” asked Marlena.
“Not today,” said Amy as she finished clearing a table and disappeared into the back of the kitchen.
Now Marlena felt herself mixed with anger and a twinge of concern. It wasn’t like John to not be where he said he was going to be. Nor was it like him to completely ignore her calls. Enough was enough. Marlena gave in and decided to call him directly. The phone didn’t even ring and went straight to John’s voicemail. Marlena listened to John’s greeting and began to smile just hearing his voice. It was the kind and loving John that she was listening to. The John that called her Doc and spoiled her relentlessly with love, affection and adoration. She really missed him and longed to hear his voice in person.
“Hi honey. It’s me. I text you twice and didn’t hear back. Where are you? I don’t want to fight anymore. Please call me back. I love you,” said Marlena as she reluctantly ended the call.
Where was he? Not caring if she appeared to be the crazy wife, she called Roman, Abe and Steve; none had spoken to or heard from John at all today. Now somewhat concerned, Marlena left the pub and decided to head back home but pass by the driving range to see if she saw John’s truck. Sadly, she didn’t see it and felt a heaviness in her chest. This wasn’t funny anymore. She was no longer angry, but worried.
“Belle, have you spoken to your dad?” asked Marlena.
“No, why? Is everything ok?” asked Belle.
“Yes, I just haven’t been able to reach him and was just checking in,” said Marlena trying to not sound worried. “If you speak to him, tell him to call me.”
Marlena drove passed every logical place that she could think of and didn’t see John anywhere. It had been 4 hours of him being MIA and it was starting to eat at her. She entered her condo in hopes that he’d made it back home.
“John?” she called out, but there was no answer.
It seemed ridiculous to be in a panic because she hadn’t been able to reach John. It had only been 4 hours and he was a grown man that managed to pulverize men twice his size and find his way out of any jam. John Black was one of the scrappiest men she’d ever known, but for some reason, she couldn’t shake the uneasiness that was starting to consume her. She did everything she could possibly do to pass the time and by the 5th hour, she was a nervous wreck.
Closing her eyes and trying to allow her heart to connect with John’s, she could sense that something was terribly wrong. Incapable of quieting her mind, she wasn’t able to relax enough to refine her connection. All she knew was that he was in some form of distress and she was slowly but surely about to break out into a full panic if she didn’t hear something soon.
Just when she was about to have Shawn search for John, he walked in the door looking completely shaken. Marlena was so relieved to see him that she ran to him and wrapped her arms around his neck squeezing him for dear life.
“Don’t you ever ignore me like that again! Where have you been? I was starting to worry. I felt this heaviness in my heart that something happened to you and when you didn’t answer my texts…” rambled Marlena.
John embraced Marlena back but didn’t utter a word. He just buried his face into the side of her neck and felt so glad to be home and in her arms. Marlena melted in his embrace long enough to calm the angst and panic that had built up all morning.
“Promise me you won’t ignore me like that again. My mind was racing with all sorts of horrible things,” said Marlena suppressing her urge to cry.
“I’m sorry Doc. I left my phone at home which was a huge mistake that will haunt me for who knows how long,” sighed John.
Marlena pulled back to see John’s face and realized that he had just experienced something life altering. Guiding him to the sofa, Marlena sat beside him and kissed him softly on the lips while rubbing his silver temples. “Baby? What happened? What has you so shaken up?” asked Marlena with nothing but love and concern in her eyes.
John took a deep breath and began to recall what should have been a normal drive to the pub.
“I left here in a huff so you could imagine how pissed I was when the main light signal had traffic backed up. I ended up taking a detour and witnessed a horrible car accident. Some poor guy had a heart attack while he was driving and lost control of the car,” said John full of empathy.
Marlena touched his hand gently trying to show compassion but allow him to emote. She just continued to look deep into John’s eyes and remain present. It took everything in her not to hug him and shout how sorry she was for holding a grudge and allowing their disagreement to fester. It seemed even more ridiculous now.
“The guy jumped the curb and ran into a bus stop,” finished John.
Marlena gasped at the horror John had experienced this morning. They had initially created date night in order to remember to make time for each other and appreciate the little things.
“And here we are acting like silly children,” Marlena began. “Please tell me everyone is ok?”
“Thank goodness the people on the bus stop weren’t seriously injured. Just some scrapes from moving out of the way,” said John.
Marlena brandished a sigh of relief and smiled. “Well that’s good to hear,” she said clasping her hands together showing thanks. “The poor driver? How’s the driver?”
“They think he’s going to make it, but it was pretty shaky there for a minute. He had his family in the car Doc. This guy was young. He wasn’t even 45 and almost killed his family and a host of pedestrians because he was too stubborn to listen to his wife. Apparently, he’d showed symptoms months ago and he lied and told his wife that he’d been checked out and was ok,” said John solemnly.
It was amazing how the two of them had come full circle in just a matter of hours. It took something of this magnitude to put things into perspective for both of them. Staring at each other longingly with silly grins due to embarrassment, they had finally waved the white flag.
“I’m sorry honey,” they both said at the same time.
“You first,” said Marlena allowing John to share his thoughts. She rubbed the side of his face and immediately felt that warmth and energy that sustained her daily.
“I was selfish for not taking my scare more seriously and for keeping you in the dark. I should have never minimized how the thought of losing me affected you. The penny didn’t drop until I heard the wife say over and over again how she’d begged him to see his doctor,” said John full of remorse. “That woman was destroyed. Frightened. Mad as hell.”
They both laughed simultaneously. “I can relate,” said Marlena wiping a tear from her face. “I have a confession to make. I found myself being a bit of a hypocrite myself and there are some things I need to face and be honest about.”
John looked longingly into her eyes and was happy to have his best friend back. He could kick himself for wasting an entire week being angry because she loved him. He felt like the luckiest idiot in the world. There were people out there that would never have even a portion of what he had with Marlena. For some reason he had lost perspective of that.
“What do you need to face and be honest about?” asked John.
Marlena just stared deeply into John’s eyes and made the concerted effort to change the tone. There was absolutely no need to allow the mood to remain heavy by taking a deep dive into her suppressed PTSD. Now that John was home safe and in her arms, the conversation could hold until later.
“We can talk about that later. Right now, I just want to make love,” said Marlena with an acute urge of desire. “With all of this fussing and fighting, certainly we need to make up. Don’t you think?”
John was never opposed to any form of attention that he could garner from his wife. Preferably without clothing, but he would take what he could get.
Leaning in to kiss her passionately on the lips, John tried to get in the last word. “I love mad sex. You were the one not putting out,” he mumbled before swirling his tongue with hers. He could feel Marlena trying to pull away to get a word in edgewise, forcing him to kiss her harder.
She knew that was his way of asking her to table her comments and just be with him. That is truly all she ever wanted to do. The idea that she laid beside him for almost a week and allowed this virile specimen to go to bed untouched made her feel a gush of remorse.
“Baby, can we still have date night? I miss you and I’m sorry. I need our date night. It makes me feel, I don’t know,” said Marlena searching for the right word in between wet kisses.
“Special?” asked John. “Because that’s how it makes me feel.”
Special was a sufficient description for now. What was most important to Marlena was getting John between her damp thighs. She began to circle his hardening length with her hands while unzipping his pants.
John was usually the one to initiate getting straight to the action but was enjoying his wife’s assertiveness. As a show of good faith, Marlena released John’s pulsating manhood and buried her face into his lap. Taking all of him into her mouth, the feel of his body relax while under her spell made her loins cream with desire. On the rare occasion she allowed herself to get a little dirty, which always took John by surprise.
Marlena delivered a superb professional. She gently stroked the base of john’s member while her warm and wet mouth sucked with strength and determination. John tilted his head back and savored every moment.
“Baby, if you keep this up, I’m going to come,” grumble John as his eyes rolled into the back of his head. “Doc!”
Marlena stopped just in the nick of time raising up brandishing a sheepish grin. “So, you are done with your appetizer? Are you ready for the main course?” she asked seductively while removing John’s shirt.
John pulled Marlena’s shirt over her head and removed her bra exposing her erect nipples. Cupping them with his hands, he pulled them into his mouth while flicking his tongue.
Without hesitation, Marlena removed her pants and panties and mounted John right away. She didn’t even give him a chance to take off his pants.
“I have to have you now,” she purred while gyrating on his lap.
John plunged into her slick heat and almost exploded in euphoria. It felt like he hadn’t felt Marlena’s touch in ages, and it was at this very moment he vowed to never let his pride prevent him from being close to her ever again. Marlena found herself quite comfortable doing the cowgirl allowing John to lay back and enjoy the show. He loved how her breasts moved during sex. It was like they were spelling his name over and over again with each thrust. Oh, how she turned him on.
Marlena enjoyed her afternoon ride more than she could have ever imagined. It was something about make up sex that felt better than regular sex. There was a pinch of naughtiness that always added that extra layer of lust on the brink of kink.
“I love make up sex with you,” moaned Marlena as she felt a bolt of electricity course through her body. She felt herself teetering on the brink of being a selfish lover by using John as a stud. On the rare occasion she had this need to objectify him as a reminder of what her alter ego craved from time to time. Perhaps that was the allure with John. She could be herself and unapologetically expose her flaws and weaknesses with reckless abandon. She didn’t have to be Dr. Evans, the pillar of a moral compass.
John never got the opportunity to take the lead during this memorable escapade. Maybe he should have tantrums a lot more if this was going to be the result. Forcefully grabbing her hips, John plunged deep into Marlena’s walls hitting her g-spot making her body quiver in drugging waves.
“AHH!,” she screamed as she felt that last bubble of tension pop. John used this as a signal to explode in her luscious vessel. His body contorted with spasms of pure unadulterated pleasure as her loins contracted around his throbbing shaft.
Marlena continue to ride John making sure she absorbed every drop of his love. Collapsing on his chest, she gasped for air while laughing uncontrollably.
“Oh my gosh how I have missed you,” she whispered as she stroked the hair on his chest.
“Not as much as I missed you,” said John kissing her softly on the lips. “So, I guess we are ok now?”
Marlena pondered the question for a few seconds before answering. “I don’t know. I sorta like this make up sex thing we got going here. I think I’ll keep my grudge until midnight. What do you think?” she asked with a wicked grin.
John just held her tight and gave a silent thanks to their reconciliation. “So, has date night started?” asked John. “If so, I like the direction we are heading in.”
Marlena stayed wrapped in John’s arms and lingered in the afterglow. She didn’t need to leave this room to commence their date night. She realized that the essence of date night was to simply invoke a feeling of unity and togetherness. It wasn’t about the flowers, fancy dinners or typical aspects of a date; it was about this feeling that dawdled in the air along with the faint aroma of sex and muted lavender.
“I have an idea, lets grab some take out, lay in bed and make love all day,” suggested Marlena. “I think the outside world has seen enough of us for today.”
That was music to John’s ears and the best idea he’d heard in a long time. There was nothing outside of these walls that came close to sustaining him the way Marlena did. He knew that she completed him; mind, body and spirit and wanted to remain caught up in her rapture for as long as possible.
“Doc, by the way? Are you trying to kill me? You know I am under a doctor’s care and here you are seducing me and making my heart flutter,” teased John.
Marlena jokingly punched him in the chest for even making such a joke.
“Too soon?” asked John.
“Tone deaf!” she said. “That comment is going to cost you. I am also a doctor you know, and I have an additional treatment plan that requires a bit of physical therapy.”
“That is great to hear Doc because I’ve been having this pain right here that I need you to look at,” said John pointing to his lips.
Marlena took a close look at his lips and then kissed him softly. “I recommend a night of these and call me in the morning. Better yet, just tap me on the shoulder,” she whispered softly in between baby kisses.
“What if you are asleep?” asked John continuing to start up all over again. “I know waking you up could start a fight.”
“That’s what I am betting on,” said Marlena. “Now let’s get ready to rumble!”
The Jarlena Journal 