Marlena sat at the desk of her home office reviewing messages and trying to discern the best fit for the referrals that she began to assign. The great thing about being semi-retired was the flexibility she had to take certain patients while sending others over to her most respected colleagues. To her surprise, she had a message from Ben Weston, the once troubled but now rehabilitated husband and expectant father.
“Hi Dr. Evans. I know you aren’t in the office right now, but I need your help and I don’t really trust anyone else. I was hoping I could bend your ear about a few things going on with Ciara and me. Again, I know you are busy with personal stuff, but if you could just please, please give me a call…I just need someone to talk to. Thanks. Bye,” said Ben.
Marlena pushed back in her chair and pondered how she was going to handle this. She didn’t want to blur the lines with her patients, nor did she want to welch on the agreement she had with John about taking projects during their off season. Was this a project? Could she make a friendly call to Ben without it being considered a consult?
A photo of her and John feeding each other cake during their last wedding stared at her, reminding her about how lucky she was to have found her soulmate. It was something about John Black that took Marlena’s breath away. Just seeing him walk into a room made her heart race. How could she deny Ben the same opportunity to find that love, that connection? The chance to spend a lifetime building a moment that could personify the core of their love story.
The love couples share give off a beacon of light. Some, like John and Marlena, have a love that burns so bright that other couples from far away seem to gravitate toward them in hopes to get a peak of such a rare and captivating phenomenon.
She traced her fingers along John’s photographed smiled and came to her decision. She picked up her phone and decided to return Ben’s call.
“Dr. Evans, thank you. Thank you so much for calling me back. I know you aren’t in the office right now,” said Ben with a twinge of desperation in his voice.
“Hi Ben. Your message sounded urgent and I just wanted to check on you. What’s going on?” asked Marlena.
“I’m just concerned about Ciara and me. We are super excited about the baby and we have so much love and support, but I feel like…,” began Ben searching for the right words, “…Like we are drifting apart in a way and it’s scaring me. She’s all that I have, and I thought the baby would bring us even closer together, but I feel shut out; like after the baby, we won’t be…us.”
Marlena took Ben’s words in and gave a thoughtful pause before responding. She knew the best way to address relationship concerns was to help the patient ask and answer their own poignant questions.
“What makes you feel shut out?” asked Marlena.
“Sometimes, Ciara gets extremely distant. I try to talk to her, and she doesn’t share what she’s feeling. I know she’s emotional right now and I have all the patience in the world. I just feel like I am failing as a husband and father,” emoted Ben.
“Ben, I want you to continue to do what you are doing. Keep supporting Ciara. Pregnancies can change a woman dramatically. Not just physically, but emotionally, hormonally. Just continue reassuring Ciara that you are here and excited to ride the wave of ups and downs that all couples will go through,” said Marlena in a professional yet maternal tone. “Let’s start with one act a day that you know will make her smile.”
“One act a day?” asked Ben curiously.
“Yes. Think of the simplest gesture that you know will bring her joy. It could be something as simple as a post it on the bathroom mirror,” suggested Marlena. “The key is to subtly remind her every day that her happiness is your priority.”
Ben took Marlena’s words under advisement and thanked her profusely for her time and confidence in him. He would never tell her this in fear that she would stop seeing him professionally, but he looked at Marlena as a mother figure in a way. He valued her opinions and garnered the highest amount of respect for her.
“Thank you, Dr. Evans! I am so glad I spoke to you. I see now that you are saying this is a marathon, not a sprint,” said Ben.
“Exactly,” said Marlena.
Just then, John entered the room with a tray of tea and pastries; a pink rose betwixt his lips.
Marlena suddenly lost herself for a second, completely consumed with the essence of her lover and best friend. There was a long and awkward silence on the phone.
“Dr. Evans are you there?” asked Ben.
Snapping back from feeling transcendental, she answered him. “Yes, I am here. Just remember what I said. I am sure things will be fine. How about we follow up week after next?”
“You are the best Dr. Evans. Thank you so much,” said Ben as he hung up the phone.
John set the tray on Marlena’s desk, kissed her cheek and softly tickled the tip of her nose with the delicate flower.
“Good morning lover,” he said as he planted a lingering kiss on her lips. “I thought I would bring you some tea and pastries.”
“You were reading my mind,” said Marlena with a huge smile plastered across her face. “I love my flower too.”
“I was on my morning walk and saw it growing all alone in the park. It reminded me of you,” said John filling her cup with the steaming aromatic brew.
“How so?” asked Marlena
John took a moment and poured himself a cup of tea and took a seat on the overstuffed accent chair opposite of Marlena. Posed like a distinguish gentleman and sipping his tea, he completed his thought.
“I was taking a shortcut to that new pastry shop on Shenandoah and got a little turned around. I must have walked too far because I ended up on Main Street before I realized. Anyway, when I turned around to double back, I saw this one little rose growing on a bush that I had never noticed before. It didn’t even belong there, and yet there it was; minding its own business. It was strong and vibrant, completely unphased by its displacement. Radiating beauty and perfection, it out shined everything else growing around it. Just like you,” said John.
Marlena lifted the flower and sniffed it taking in the robust smell. “What a wonderful thing to say,” she gushed feeling adored.
“It’s the truth,” said John. “So, who are you following up with in a couple of weeks? You didn’t take on a project, did you?”
Marlena got up from her desk and walked over to John taking a seat on his lap and laying her head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” said Marlena softly.
“For the flower?” asked John.
“For being you. For loving me. That was Ben Weston. He sounded a bit distressed, so I returned his call just to check on him. You know he’s special to me. I hope you don’t mind,” said Marlena as she snuggled into John’s neck.
“Of course not. Even on your off days, you are still The Dr. Marlena Evans. That’s never going to change. I hope he’s ok now,” said John as he began to intertwine his fingers with hers.
“I think he will be just fine. His heart is in the right place and sometimes that is all a person needs to build a steady foundation for things to come,” said Marlena kissing the back of John’s hand.
Marlena sat on John’s lap in complete silence. There was nothing to say. Sometimes, they allowed their energy to have a dialogue, a full-on conversation like old and familiar friends trying to squeeze every nuance into a quick chat.
“Alexa, play Look What I Got by Betty Carter,” said Marlena.
Suddenly, the soulful and jazzy tune began to play. The lyrics completely summarizing Marlena’s thoughts.
To have his love
Is all that a girl could want
To hold him close is heaven
To watch the sun come up each day
With joy I took a chance and there he was
For me
Marlena stood up and allowed John to take this dance. Resting her head on his shoulder and loosely draping her arms around his neck, she closed her eyes and swayed slowly to the music that captured the essence of what she felt daily.
He took my hand
And said “Will you be my wife?”
Fantasy had come true
And now my world is sweet and nice and smooth
For he is all I’ll ever need
In life
Marlena cupped John’s face with her hands and drew him close, rubbing her nose against his. Slightly allowing her lips to graze his, John responded in kind. Claiming her mouth, John graced her with the soft flick of his otherwise powerful and exploratory tongue; pulling so close that he could feel her heart beating the exact same rhythm as his.
Look what I got
To kiss every night now
Look what I got
To hold hands in the park with
I got a man
John pulled away slightly, just enough to look into Marlena’s eyes. Her soft lips parted slightly, allowing his tongue to slip back inside.
Our love is strong
Because we both understand
That we must work together
To make this marriage work
With grace and care
Somehow it’s gonna be wonderful
Wonderful, oh
Betty Carter began to scat so brilliantly as consummate jazz artists do. Her vocal notes bringing the melodic tunes of love to its peak, John spun his bride and gently dipped her with tenderness and care. These were the moments that Marlena wanted all couples to create. This was her reality and something she wished for Ben and Ciara.
The song concluded, and yet there they were, swaying to the beats of their hearts.
“I love you John Black,” said Marlena.
“And I you, Marlena Evans Black,” replied John.
“Hmm, look what I got,” she whispered.
John stared inside the refrigerator trying to figure out what to sneak a nibble of. He knew snacking after 4 on date night was forbidden, but he was terribly peckish and decided his favorite cold cut wrapped in a slice of colby jack cheese with one crispy pepperoncini would get him to dinner. With his better half in the shower, it was now or never if he wanted to indulge undetected.
Standing over the sink, he bit the pepper; shooting its tangy brine all over the counter. Reaching for a paper towel to soak up his incriminating evidence, John’s cell phone rang. It was Belle, his youngest not to mention pride and joy. Brady was his son, his heir and bloodline ─ and a fine man indeed, but Belle was his weakness. Just being part of Marlena and a living testament to their journey, was the true reason he always looked at his tinker bell through rose colored lenses.
“Hey Tink, what’s up?” asked John happy to hear from his baby girl.
Belle had been crying. Sniffling into the phone, she began to speak. “Daddy…,” Belle called out.
No father ever wanted their daughter to cry, let alone over the phone. Forgetting about cleaning his mess, John devoted his attention to his daughter. “Baby, what’s wrong?” asked John with deep concern.
“Oh daddy,” she wailed. “I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared.”
Scared?! John’s mind went a million places at once.
“Where are you? I’m coming baby! Tell me what happened,” said John scurrying around the kitchen for his keys.
Belle collected herself realizing that she had just triggered her dad bringing him to the cusp of mercenary mode. “No daddy. I’m ok. Well, I am safe. I am just so upset. No, I mad! Freaking livid!” she exclaimed.
John took a seat so that he could find his heart and put it back in his chest. With his undivided attention, John prepared to listen to his daughter’s plight.
“Shawn just told me that Jan Spears is pregnant, with his baby!” cried Belle.
John was well aware of the possession mishap that included Shawn. Somehow, Marlena was able to help Shawn and Belle get through that. Infidelity, no matter the circumstances, was always an obstacle hard to overcome.
Belle wept into the phone uncontrollably, breaking John’s heart into a million pieces.
“Izzy B. Isabelle, honey listen to me,” said John. “You know how many times your mom and I felt like we were up against an insurmountable obstacle. And every time, every single time, we came out the other side even stronger and I have faith that you and Shawn will too.”
“Dad, there is a baby! Shawn’s not going to turn his back on his child. A baby changes everything. Look what happened when I was born. I basically destroyed mom’s entire family,” said Belle as she tried to suppress her cries.
“No, no, no, no, no baby girl. You were a gift to us. Your mother and I, we loved each other desperately for so long and you are a living and breathing testament to that love,” said John trying to push down the lump in his throat.
The only thing worse than seeing Marlena cry was hearing his daughter cry, because from where he stood, he couldn’t hold her. All he could do was be a sound voice of reason and assure Belle that everything was going to be ok.
“You are right daddy. I know we can get through this, it’s just going to take time. A lot of time. And ice cream,” said Belled trying to lighten the mood.
“I remember when you were a kid, I would take you and Mimi to that one place; what was it called again? It was 90 minutes outside of Salem in the middle of nowhere. Best damn shakes I have ever had,” reminisced John.
“Rodbell’s. It was Rodbell’s and yes, the banana shake was everything,” said Belle sounding lighter. “Things were so much easier back then. If I had a rotten day, all I needed was my dad and a Rodbell shake,” said Belle fondly.
Those times were simpler. In a flash, John recalled every moment with Belle. From the kiss that led to her conception to of course her birth. The fact that he was at the Horton cabin that night and had the privilege of delivering her was always one of John’s most precious memories.
Marlena walked into the kitchen ready to start date night when she saw John in a not so jovial place.
“John?” asked Marlena in a concerned but pensive tone. “Has something happened?”
“It’s Belle. She called and …,” began John.
“Oh my gosh! What happened? Is she ok?” asked Marlena with heightened concern.
John walked over to Marlena to hug and pacify her. “She’s fine. Just had a rough day. Nothing a little chat with dear old dad can’t fix,” said John.
“You allowed to share?” asked Marlena.
“I am but it is date night and that is my focus for now,” he said kissing her passionately on the lips. “So, what do you have planned for tonight?”
Marlena hadn’t really planned anything substantial like in previous outings. She had been vacillating all day about what to get into. It wasn’t until after her dance with John this morning that it came to her.
“I just want to go for a nice drive. Grab some take out and watch the sun set with you. You keep my love tank so full. I’m always satisfied. I never want for anything,” replied Marlena burying herself in John’s chest. The warmth of his arms made her melt. “Damn, you feel so good, we can stay home and just hug.”
John held Marlena close and rubbed his nose into her soft tussled mane.
“You know what, a car ride is a great idea! Grab your coat. We need to hurry!” said John with a sudden burst of motivation.
John and Marlena hopped in the truck and hightailed it out of the city. After hitting the open highway, John floored it, hitting about 80.
“What’s the rush?” asked Marlena as she watched her husband grip the stirring wheel with intention.
John was pensive. It wasn’t that Belle had sworn him to secrecy, he just didn’t want to unload on Marlena. It was date night; their night. The one night when nothing was supposed to hijack their moment. But this was Belle. Their baby. He felt compelled to share the load.
“There was a small setback with Shawn and Belle. She called me to vent a little. Kinda choked her old man up. We got to talking about how I use to make everything better with these shakes from Rodbell’s, you know she had to remind me…,” John trailed off thinking back fondly.
“What kind of setback?” asked Marlena with deep concern.
“Nothing that either of us can fix right now, but what I was going to tell you was, I thought we could watch the sun set while drinking milk shakes. Bring one back for Belle. I just want to do something,” said John trying to justify his urge to be a dad.
This is why Marlena loved John Black. It wasn’t about the sex, although a top contender, it was his empathy and ability to protect those he loved so effortlessly. Marlena stroked the side of his face, allowing his 5:00 shadow to tickle her fingertips. His skin was smooth like butter.
“I love you. Let’s get my baby her shake. Just don’t get a ticket,” said Marlena with pride.
John and Marlena made it to Rodbell’s in record time. Grabbing some burgers and fries to go, John added Belle’s shake to his thermos to preserve it and parked just up the road to catch the sunset. Sitting in the back of the truck devouring their dinner, Marlena took a ketchup soaked french fry and fed it to John.
“This is nice. I needed this,” said Marlena sniffing the crisp air. “So much is going on with the people we love. And while my heart aches when are children have to struggle, I know they will be ok and happy. I am so happy. Blissfully happy. I don’t think I could adequately express how truly happy I am with my life,” said Marlena reflecting.
John took Marlena’s dinner and set it to the side so that he could hold her close. The orange ball of radiating light slowly disappeared below the horizon as they snuggled beneath the soft fleece blanket in pure bliss.
They sat in complete silence for a long while, comforting one another with an equal proportion of warmth and gladness. Somehow, they had created their own love language that many would never learn to speak. Marlena had to admit, it was pretty cool to belong to such a coveted secret society.
“Shangri-La…,” mumbled Marlena.
Like every night that she could remember, Marlena cradled John’s head in her lap as she stroked his silver temples. Accepting that it was a day of reflection, Marlena was satisfied with the overall trajectory.
John’s cell phone beeped breaking his doze. “Check to see what that is before I turn it off honey,” said John not even opening his eyes.
Marlena reached for the phone on the night stand and read the message with jubilance.
“Ha! Honey. Belle sent a picture. I think they are going to be ok. Have a look,” said Marlena as she positioned the phone so John could see it.
It was a photo of Belle and Shawn sitting side-by-side sharing the milk shake with a caption I love you daddy! John cleared his throat feeling himself choke up a bit.
“I don’t know about you, but this has been an emotional day for me,” said John.
Marlena could relate. She had felt the same way too having listened to Ben this morning talk about his fears and insecurities that all new parents faced. Meanwhile John, was providing the exact same support for Belle.
“I get it now. I see it so clear. We have become Tom and Alice. We set the standard. These young couples look to us for guidance and advice. When did this happen?” asked Marlena.
“Honey, you are Salem’s finest psychiatrist. You’ve always guided and advised,” said John in between snores.
John was right. She had guided and advised most of the residents of Salem, clinically and indirectly and knowing that after all of these years, people still had such high regard for her words of wisdom.
Like most normal couples across America, John and Marlena slept in modest attire. John ended up in his boxers and a t-shirt and Marlena a flannel houndstooth night shirt with a pair of wooly socks.
Contrary to what most believed, the Blacks were a very normal couple. John left the seat up and Marlena used his razor. They fought about it at least twice a week. Yes, they fought and often. There had been some dragged out no holds barred fights over the years, but in recent years they’d learned to agree to disagree.
Marlena didn’t mind the fights so much, because it was always followed by the best make-up sex. Quiet as it was kept, Marlena would use her psychological prowess to lead John into little spats-solely for the make-up sex. Meanwhile, John had figured her out years ago and merely let her believe she was controlling the narrative. They were quite a pair.
Spooning into her back, John snuggled closely behind Marlena with his hand draped below her waist. Adjusting slightly, he’d inadvertently grazed his crouch across Marlena’s hip. It wasn’t long before the discomfort of morning wood had John’s back against the wall.
In an effort to either relieve the pressure or wake Marlena, John pushed his throbbing member into her hip with more force. Marlena shifted in her sleep and pushed her backside into John’s center, beckoning him to move closer. Spooning and grinding Marlena from the back, John reached around for Marlena’s toasty center. Sliding his fingers along the fringe of her panties, he felt her body slightly tremble from the excitement.
Early Morning sex was lazy and not nearly as sexy as evening sex, but it was spectacular in its own right. Marlena relaxed her inner thighs, parting them like a butterfly. Opened for his touch, Marlena’s body began to salivate just in anticipation of John hooking his fingers into her.
Continuing to lightly outline Marlena’s bikini line with his fingertips, John new it wouldn’t be long before Marlena’s body was wet enough for him to plunge into.
It was clear from her moans and determination to back into John with more intensity that Marlena was ready and willing to go. Grabbing John’s hand and guiding it down her panties, Marlena commanded his fingers to push against her swollen clit. She quivered with the first soft brush.
John could feel the stickiness from her heat coat the tips of his fingers. Pulling his boxers just below his balls, John entered Marlena from behind. Still laying on their sides, John moved in slow shallow pumps while softly stroking her clitoris. Burying his face in the back of Marlena’s neck, he could hear her breath race and reverb off her pillow.
Marlena’s salivating walls allowed John to thrust with full access to her vibrating folds. Moving freely, John caressed Marlena’s leg while lifting it slightly for better access.
This happened to be one of Marlena’s favorite positions. Being taken from this angle with minimal effort was the best lazy sex a girl could ask for. Because John was well over 8 inches erect, hitting Marlena’s g-spot was almost instantaneous.
John pumped faster as he felt the shaft of his magic stick slam against Marlena’s pelvis. It was the best way for him to subdue the aches from morning wood.
Marlena began to gyrate her core is circular motions, responding to John’s rhythmic touch. Without the aid of lingerie, candles, strawberries and whipped cream; this particular episode of love making was very sexy.
Their bodies engaged in a series of dialogue, catching each other up with the mundane musings of recent events. Marlena’s slippery core told John’s shaft all about her wonderful date night. John’s stroke was his response. Her quivering walls then asked if the feeling was mutual and indeed it was. John’s body said so when it stiffened and focused its attention on Marlena’s g-spot. It was clear they were in need of a sidebar conversation.
Extremely quiet to reflect the early morning hour, John and Marlena had beat the sunrise having just said farewell hours before. John could feel Marlena’s body tense as she braced herself for an intense orgasm looming in her loins. John was extremely close too as the pressure in his organ started to dissipate with every stroke.
Digging for Marlena’s buried treasure, John had hit pay dirt. The once silent room was now awakened with the faint moans and pants from sexual satisfaction. Marlena led John’s hands to grab her breasts as she yearned for him to pay attention to her entire form. It was the flick of her left nipple that brought her home.
Marlena’s walls tightened around John’s penis and exploded with an intense wave of euphoria. He could feel her body began to soften beneath him as he sank into her warm flesh. Stroking with more aggression to itch that final scratch, John could feel the fluid transfer from his body to hers. She’d asked for it and he obliged. Thrusting to squeeze out the very last drop, John spooned Marlena and took refuge in her warm pillowy softness. Tucking his deflated penis back into his boxers, he snuggled closer to Marlena to bask in the silent afterglow. Marlena clinched her thighs to prevent the remnants of John from running down her leg. It was 4 am, and she wasn’t ready to go shower.
Within minutes, they were fast asleep. Spooning. Happy. Satisfied. In love and most importantly, fluent in their special love language.
The Jarlena Journal 