“It’s too much, John…I don’t know how much more I can handle,” Marlena cries into her pillow. She runs the pads of her fingers over the fabric in a soft caress, pretending that she’s able to touch John’s face. “I’ve lost too much…too much…I want Belle. I want our baby…it’s been too long.”
“I’m going to find you. I promise,” John whispers back to her, while using the tip of his finger to catch the lone tear slipping down her cheek. “Baby, I promise…I’m going to find you…”
“She’s going to forget me…” Marlena says softly, as she reaches for John. His image begins to fade away, and she is again faced with being alone, in a gilded cage. Her imagination can only do so much for her. Closing her eyes slowly, and then opening them, John is gone again. It’s been a month since she was taken. She slowly rolls to her other side, and sees Stefano standing just beyond the bars, staring at her with sympathy and warmth, all of it real to him…but in reality, Stefano didn’t understand love. He understood possession, and he understood control, but he didn’t understand love. He just thought he did.
Stefano is unnerved by Marlena’s stare. She has been laying there for hours, lost in her own thoughts, it seemed. She has the ability to look at him, and make him feel exposed. He hates it…and he is also thrilled by it. “You look beautiful, Marlena, but then, you always do,” he says to her.
Marlena continues to look at him with a blank stare, lacking emotion, but offers him no response. The hate coursing through her body, causes her to tremble. Stefano’s inability to understand her hatred of him, or his refusal to understand it, makes the feeling so much stronger. He expects that she will eventually concede to his demands, which means he knows nothing about her. Marlena smiles softly, as she remembers John telling her, G-d, you’re one stubborn woman.
“Say something Marlena,” Stefano tells her.
Continuing to stare at him from her position on the bed, she replies, “All I will ever say to you, you bastard, is let me out of here.”
“Let you go? After all I did to bring you here? I can’t do that,” he said. He unlocked the door to the cage, and walked in, approaching her, causing her to eye him warily.
“Then just stay away from me,” Marlena said, rolling away from him, and rising on the opposite side of the bed. She stood to face him, ensuring that he didn’t get any closer to her.
“I expected this, but once you appreciate the love that I have for you—” Stefano replied, causing Marlena once more to marvel at the vainglorious way he seemed to view himself.
“—you call this love? Kidnapping me? Putting me in a cage?” She asked him fiercely, cutting off the egocentric speech she knew was coming. “If you held me for a million years, I would never love you! Don’t you understand that?”
“You will change your mind, in time…” he said with all of the arrogant confidence he usually did.
“I will not…I want to go home to my family, and John! I miss John. I love John.”
“Your love is futile, Marlena. John thinks you’re dead. Everyone does,” Stefano tells her.
“John will know in his heart, that I’m alive. He will never stop searching for me!”
Stefano, feeling the anger rise up in him, and forcing it back down, says to her, “I admire your courage, Marlena, but what a waste of passion. Such a futile endeavor.”
“I will never give up. Not until I’m free.”
“You want your freedom? It’s yours. On the day that you finally surrender your love to me, your soul, your heart, will be liberated, Marlena! You will come to me freely, willingly, joyfully,” Stefano said with so much confidence, Marlena almost rolled her eyes at him.
“Never.”
“Yes, you will. I will give you the purest…the greatest love that you’ve ever known!”
“If you love me, if you really love me, don’t take me from the people that I love. The people who need me. From my family. From my children. From my baby. From my darling Belle,” she said with tears of loss rolling down her face.
“If that means so much to you…we could…we could have a child of our own,” Stefano told her with a look of wonder on his face.
A new, cold, sickening dread washed over her, as she told him, “You are mad.”
Stefano continues to talk, “My goodness! Why have I never thought of that before? A child would bind us together forever!”
“No.”
“Yes. A child, our child…a son, a son to replace the son that I lost, Tony. Yes! My love could only grow stronger for you while the baby grows inside of you—”
Marlena watches him in abject fear, while also trying to figure out exactly which personality disorder he might actually have. “No! That will never happen. Never! John is looking for me, and by G-d, he will find me!” she said adamantly.
“John can search for you forever. He will never find you here. No, Marlena. No one will ever find you. Not now…not ever.” He turns, and leaves her locked inside her cage, while she falls back to the bed crying.
~ ~ ~ ~
Marlena was not dead. John refused to believe she was. He had believed her dead once, only to be fooled by Orpheus. He had believed her dead a second time, only to be fooled by Stefano DiMera. Marlena was not dead. While Abe, Bo, Hope, and even Kristen tried to tell him that the evidence was irrefutable…John knew she was alive. He felt it, and while that wasn’t enough for most people…given his past experience, it was enough for him.
John had decided to search the warehouse again. He was convinced that they had missed something when they were there earlier. They had to have missed something. He felt like he was going insane. The thought of Marlena with Stefano was driving him to insanity. Stefano was obsessed with her, and when John pictured him near her, trying to touch her…it drove him mad. He had to see if they had missed something in their earlier search of the warehouse.
After scanning the room, his eyes landed on the goggles that they had previously disregarded as junk. Slowly approaching them, John lifted them to his face, and put them on. At first he saw nothing, except blackness, but then he realized there was a button on the side, which seemed to activate them. He was overcome with the oddest sensation of movement, and John knew he was still in the warehouse, visually transported somewhere else. Almost instantly, he found himself standing outside of a golden cage. The room was dark, except for the faint glow of lamplight from the corner, and inside the cage was Marlena…and Stefano. Rage hit John like freight train, causing him to roar, “Get the f*ck away from her, you lousy b*stard!”
Marlena was cowering in the shower, Stefano leaning towards her, while she tried to cover her body with the shower curtain. John realized fairly quickly that he was able to see everything happening, even hear what was happening…but Stefano, and Marlena couldn’t see, or hear, him. Knowing that caused his helplessness, and his rage to increase exponentially. He roared in anger at his inability to help her
Marlena seemed so scared, using the shower curtain to cover her body, and shield it from the lust shining in Stefano’s eyes. “Get away from me!” she told Stefano with obvious fear reflected in her eyes.
Stefano completely disregarded her words and reached out, attempting to touch the skin of her shoulder. She smacked his hand away, while he gazed on her lustfully, saying, “You are so beautiful, Marlena.”
Marlena snatches her towel from Stefano’s hand, and quickly wraps it around herself, yelling at him again, “I said, get away from me!”
“Marlena, I will never do anything to hurt you. All I want to do is make you happy—”
“Then release me! Let me go back to my family!” she cries, pushing her body further away from him, and slamming into the backside of the shower wall in her effort to get away. Stefano leans closer to her, making her feel more boxed in, and claustrophobic. Her breathing began to look panicked as her eyes darted around for a way to get away from him.
John impulsively reaches for her, and grabs at only air. While it feels as if he is in the room with her, he knows he’s not. The tightness in his chest is like vise, as John notices that his own breathing has become panicked. She’s within his reach visually, but untouchable for the moment. But where is she? He screamed out all of his frustration, “Doc! I’m here! Doc!”
Marlena quickly turns to face John, unseeing, but feeling his presence. She says, “John?”
“Doc! I’m here! I’m here!” he says loudly, as if increasing his volume will transmit his voice across whatever distance they span. “You feel me don’t you? I know you do!” John doesn’t know how to communicate with her, but he knows…he knows, she feels his presence.
Marlena felt as if John were with her for a brief moment, but the feeling passed almost as soon as she noticed it. Her attention reverts back to Stefano, “I despise you! You make me sick!”
Stefano steps back from her, surprised by the venom in her voice, and allowing her to exit the shower. He’s angry. He’s enraged. None of this is going how he wanted it to. She’d already been with him for a month, and she was still as vehemently denying him, as she had on the day she arrived. He was losing his patience, but he couldn’t seem to find a way to win her over. All of his previous conquests had folded so easily, and yet, Marlena’s continued resistance only made the fire of his desire for her flame that much hotter.
Suddenly, the goggles went black. Everything that had been right in front him him, was gone. John tore them from his face trying to figure out exactly what had gone wrong, and noticed the case on the table in front of him. The light was flashing red, when it had been flashing green. The battery must be dead. He placed the googles back into the case, and the light began flashing yellow. They were charging. Sh*t. John’s heart was racing as he closed up the goggle case. He had no choice but to wait, for now, with the knowledge that Marlena was alive…and she was safe. His greater concern was what Stefano might do to her, if she continued to resist his advances. John left the warehouse, taking the case with him, because as soon as the goggles were charged, he was using them again.
~ ~ ~ ~
Marlena escaped inside her mind again. She did it quite frequently to get away from the horrific reality of her life. She sometimes daydreamed about Belle and Brady, or spending time with John. She fantasized about confronting Kristen with her lies, and the fact that she knew Kristen had told Stefano how to take her. Today she was lost in a memory of John.
“Oh, John…I thought—” Marlena was startled to see John arriving home, while she was digging through cabinets in the kitchen looking for soap. She held her towel tightly around her body, and watched him with wide eyes, thinking that he was more beautiful every time she saw him.
“That I was Stefano?” John asked her, looking over her barely covered body, and stepping around her to get into the kitchen. “You’re safe here, Doc. There’s a cop right outside that door.” He glanced at her again, scanning over her body, and drinking in the sight of her with his eyes. He was trying to act like he was focused on the task at hand, unloading the groceries, but he was obviously distracted by her, since he kept giving her sideways glances.
Marlena felt her body reacting to his stares; a tense throbbing began in her center, and caused her body to shiver. John was watching her with barely concealed interest, which lead to her stumbling over her next words,“I just thought that, um…I was in the shower and, um, I couldn’t find any soap. I…”
“Today’s your lucky day. I got some right here,” he said pulling the bar out of one of the shopping bags, but not handing it to her, instead holding it near his chest, and watching her. Marlena tried to reach for the soap, and almost lost her towel in the process, grasping it at the last moment, and holding on to it tightly.
John’s eyes lit up, and he smirked, “You know, there’s really no need to be embarrassed. It’s not like we haven’t…” She was looking at him, her mouth slightly open, confused for a moment. John was sending off signals, like he was aroused, and interested, but Marlena thought he didn’t feel that way about her. She shook her head, as if she was clearing it, and put her hand out for the soap. Instead of handing it to her, John continued to hold it close to his body, and watched her. Marlena nervously stepped forward to retrieve it, and John reached out, grabbing her hand, pulling her closer. With her body flush with his, he reached forward, and brushed some loose strands of hair off of her shoulder.
Marlena stared up at him in surprise, and arousal, unable to do anything but watch him, while John slowly leaned towards her ear, and whispered, “Do you need help washing your back, Doc?”
Marlena wasn’t entirely sure what what happening, but she didn’t want it to end. Tipping her head to John’s ear, she whispered, her breath wafting over his skin, “Are you offering?”
He took a deep breath, breathing her in, his teeth nipped at her ear lobe, and he asked her in a rough voice, “Are you accepting?”
Her acceptance was interrupted by a knock on the door, and the police officer stationed there, saying, “Mr. Black? Kristen DiMera is here to see you?”
~ ~ ~ ~
John was finding it difficult to balance his personal life, and his obsession with watching Marlena through the goggles. While he knew she couldn’t see, or hear him, he sometimes felt like she sensed him being there. She would pause in what she was doing, or saying, and look about as if she felt something, but she just wasn’t sure what it was. In those times he found himself yelling her name, or speaking to her, hoping, always hoping, that she might hear him this time.
He stared across the dinner table at Kristen, and smiled at her, trying to reassure her that he was there, and present for her, since she had accused him of being emotionally unavailable earlier in the day. Kristen smiled back at him, and continued chatting about all of her plans for their baby. Her pregnancy was high risk, and while she had been given specific instructions for rest, food, and keeping her emotions in check, she wasn’t really following them the way she should. It frustrated John to no end. He had tried talking to her about it, but Kristen reassured him that she felt fine, and the baby was fine too.
John saw her pushing herself too hard trying to take care of her mother, worried about Peter, and, for some reason, wanting to spend an excessive amount of time with him. Every time he turned around she was there. He found himself hiding in the bathroom for a break from Kristen, and she even found him there, knocking on the door, to check on him. Finding time to look in on Marlena with the goggles had become a middle of the night endeavor, as well as during Kristen’s naps, or doctors appointments he didn’t need to attend. He found himself sneaking around, because Kristen had explicitly asked him to stop using the goggles. He had promised her he would, but he lied, because he was checking on Marlena every chance he got.
John’s attention was brought back to Kristen, when she said to him, “You make me so happy.”
“And I noticed that you are wearing your engagement ring again…” John told her. Kristen immediately remembered Marlena telling her to take it off, but none of that mattered now, since Marlena was gone. John went on, saying, “I’m glad you can wear it again now that the swelling is down.”
Kristen smiled at John, and said somewhat sarcastically, “Yes, thank you, my puffiness has gone away.”
“That meal was incredible,” John said wiping his mouth with a napkin, and watching her closely. Something had been off about her behavior recently, and John wasn’t sure what it was.
“It was, and you sat through an entire meal without once running to the phone,” she replied with a bit of snark. Even with Marlena gone, Kristen still couldn’t manage to escape her, or her hold on John’s attention.
“I owe you an apology, Kristen. I’m very sorry. I know what I’ve put you through the last couple of weeks. I feel really badly about that…” John said to Kristen.
“I don’t want you to feel bad about that, honey,” she replied, while smiling at him, when in all honesty she knew she made him feel bad at every turn. “I want you to feel good, and I want you to know that I’m praying for Marlena to be found alive, but…I think we need to be realistic about this. You know that whole goggle thing is probably just an illusion—”
John cut her off quickly, saying, “No, it wasn’t. It was too real, and because they belong to Stefano, I have to believe that anything is possible.” When he had seen Marlena in the shower, boxed in by Stefano, her fear, the sound of her voice…that couldn’t be faked. John knew it was real. He had tried to explain it to Kristen, but she kept insisting that he accept Marlena’s death, and that what he claims he saw in the goggles might have been a farce. It reminded John of Aremid, and how Kristen had not had faith in his innocence or belief in what he was telling her. She was doing the same thing now, trying to convince him to let go of his search for Marlena. He knew what he saw, and he knew it was real. The fact that Kristen continued to insist that it was his imagination, just made him more frustrated with her.
Kristen forced herself to swallow back her anger, “I’m sorry I brought it up. I know you well enough, and, uh, I know you have to exhaust every possibility for your own peace of mind, but I will take you up on your offer to let it go for tonight.”
“There’s no one else tonight,” John told her, and yet, he was already planning to check on Marlena for the fourth time that day…as soon as Kristen went to sleep.
~ ~ ~ ~
Stefano decided to have his warehouse in Salem blown up. He had made sure it was timed to happen when John was inside, so he had been certain that John was dead, and it was with a sick pleasure that he told Marlena. The utter destruction on her face was evident, and while it hurt his heart to cause her pain, he also found that he felt a deep sense of gratification to finally be done with John Black.
“You know, Marlena, if he had just accepted that you were dead. If he had just left it alone…I wouldn’t have had to do it, but he will not give up on you,” Stefano tells her in a gentle tone, trying to mollify her.
“John?” Marlena asked him quietly. “John…what have you done to him?”
“He’s gone, Marlena.”
“No. No, no, no! John’s not dead!” Marlena cried, shaking her head and stepping back from the bars of the cage. The pain in her chest was unbearable, and she collapsed to the floor in her grief. Her sobs wracking her body, while she shook her head in denial.
Stefano continues speaking to her, with a glint of smug sense of satisfaction, “I would not lie to you about something so important.”
“You murdered him!” she cried from her place on the floor. “You’ve always hated him. You’ve always envied him!” She could barely speak, as heaving sobs took over. Her hatred of Stefano overwhelmed her, and while he continued to talk, she dragged her body from the floor to the bed, and sank into her grief, and into her own mind.
~ ~ ~ ~
Something was wrong, John knew it as soon as he saw her. She had been lying motionless for over ten minutes, her eyes open, but seemingly unseeing. He adjusted the goggles, allowing himself to get so close, he felt as if he could reach out, and touch her. She was crying softly, her tears flowing over her cheeks, and he could hear her talking to herself. “John…John…you can’t be gone…you can’t be gone…”
Stefano approached the cage door, “Marlena, darling, I need you to speak to me. You’ve been like this for days. You’ve barely eaten anything. I’m sorry I had to hurt you, but if John had just been happy with Kristen, if he had just let you go…I wouldn’t have had to kill him.”
It was then that John noticed a newspaper sitting on her table. He saw his photograph and a headline declaring him dead. That bastard had a fake newspaper declaring him dead? Marlena was mourning him, her soul obviously broken, while Stefano stood there trying to justify why John’s death was necessary.
Marlena’s mind slipped further, and further away to a moment when she had John…
Marlena needed to find Kristen, to see if there was a robe to go with this nightgown. It was at least a full size too small, and barely contained her breasts. Rounding the corner in a rush, she ran into John, exclaiming, “Oh, oh! Excuse me, I’m sorry…” She attempted to cross her arms over her chest, without much success. All she managed to do was push them higher, and accentuate her cleavage, causing John to smirk, and raise an eyebrow at her. Marlena’s blush started at her neck, and spread over her in a pale pink hue.
“No, I’m sorry, I…” John said finally, stumbling over his words. He tried to focus on her face, but she noticed that his eyes were most definitely wandering to her breasts.
“No, it’s my fault. I, um…Kristen was good enough to loan me a nightgown, but…I forgot to get the robe, so I was just going to go, and do that, and, um, I didn’t know anybody was upstairs…” Marlena said in a hurry. Her breaths were coming in rapid succession, and she tried to force her mind to calm down, because her body was betraying her emotions right now.
John seemed distracted, unconsciously stepping closer to her, and almost backing her into the corner of the hallway. Marlena stared up at him, breathing in the spicy cologne he always wore, and shivering at his proximity. John reaches out to her, tucking her hair behind her ear. He says,“Yeah, um, okay…” His fingers slowly run down the side of her neck, while his eyes move from her eyes to her mouth, and then back to scanning over her body again. Marlena’s breathing was becoming more erratic, as she waited to see what his next move would be.
This sexually charged tension between them was becoming almost unbearable. Especially since they had been interrupted at the loft, when Marlena was sure there was definite flirtation happening. John’s hand ran up over her shoulder, toying with the tiny shoulder strap to the nightgown, hooking his finger underneath, and running it back and forth. “You’ve always had the softest skin, Doc…” he whispered to her, stepping even closer, almost as of he had no control over what he was doing.
Marlena held her breath. She was willing to keep Kristen’s lies to herself, to protect the baby, but if John crossed the line…if he came to her, she wouldn’t refuse him. She didn’t think she would have the willpower to refuse him at all. His blue eyes were studying her, looking for something from her, but Marlena didn’t know what.
He started to lean into her, his eyes focused on her mouth, when Kristen bounded around the corner, entirely to chipper to be real, saying, “Oh there you are, Marlena! I was looking for you. I forgot to give you the robe.”
Marlena watched the sly look in Kristen’s eye. She knew exactly what she was interrupting. Marlena snatched the robe from her hands, saying quickly, “Thank you” and walking away.
John wasn’t sure what she was seeing in her mind, but even as she ignored Stefano’s pleads for her to come back to him, she had a small smile on her face. She was somewhere else entirely, and wherever it was…she was happy.
~ ~ ~ ~
“What is wrong with her?” Stefano asked, as he followed the doctor out of Marlena’s cage.
“She’s suffering from something that is not uncommon among people that have been imprisoned. It’s a syndrome…the first instinct of a prisoner is to fight. Fight with all of his strength against the idea of their incarceration. They battle, and struggle to escape, but when they see that it’s impossible, they begin to lose hope,” the doctor told him. He watched Stefano DiMera with wary eyes. The man was unpredictable, and he only came here because Stefano threatened his family. What he found when he arrived, was a woman in a cage. A woman who missed her family, her children, and a man she called John.
“She’s lost hope?” Stefano asked him incredulously, glancing over at Marlena as she lied on her bed, immobile.
“I’m inclined to think it’s gone a step beyond that,” the doctor told him. “Time takes a toll on the imprisoned…some lose the will to live,” the doctor told Stefano bluntly.
“You think that, but no…no…” Stefano said, shaking his head in denial.
“I’m telling you, what I know. What I see in my professional opinion.”
“Then do something for her! You could at least prescribe her something!” Stefano said, his frustration at the doctor’s inability to fix this situation, rising with each breath he took.
“I’ve given her a vitamin shot. Here’s a list of certain foods that will help her rebuild her strength.”
Stefano takes the paper the doctor handed to him, and read through it, “Citrus fruits, leafy greens…okay, okay…” He passed it off to the butler, “Have this filled out immediately, and tell the chef to plan her meals accordingly.”
The doctor watched him, and said, “But we still have the problem of her spirit. It’s virtually non-existent, and for what she needs to revive it…there is no prescription.”
“Well, whatever it is she needs…just tell me, and I’ll get it for her!”
“Hope,” is all the doctor says. “I’ll be back to check on her in two weeks, Mr. DiMera.” The doctor grabs his things, and leaves Stefano pondering what he said. Hope. Stefano refuses to allow Marlena to leave. She will adjust eventually, but in the meantime, he has to do something to bring her back from the brink, because he can’t continue to allow her to decline like this.
Marlena was lying on the bed, drifting in and out of a lucid state. She looked up and saw John laying beside her. She knew he wasn’t there, but her mind put him there, so she just went with it…
“I miss you so much, my love,” she whispered into the air.
“I haven’t left you, you know. Don’t forget, baby, Stefano lies…” he told her, his voice trailing off.
“Stefano lies,” she repeated, feeling something lighten in her chest.
“That’s right, Doc…Stefano lies…” his voice faded to a whisper and was gone.
~ ~ ~ ~
“If Marlena is gone, nothing will stand in the way of your life with John, and you, and your baby will have the life you deserve…as will I. All you have to do is one simple thing, tell me which plane Marlena will be on tomorrow.”
Kristen’s body jerked roughly as she awakened in a cold sweat, breathing harshly, while her heart pounded painfully in her chest. Her mind went immediately to the night she had called her father, telling him how to kidnap Marlena. It had been almost two months that Marlena had been gone. Kristen thought she might feel some guilt by now, but she didn’t. What she did feel was anger, frustration, and hatred for a woman who wasn’t even around anymore.
Marlena’s kidnapping consumed John. Kristen had wrongly assumed, that with Marlena gone, John’s focus would return to her. It hadn’t. Instead he had become obsessed with finding her, even after Abe, Bo, Hope, and everyone else tried to tell him that the wreckage from the plane crash ensured Marlena’s death. He refused to believe it, repeating over, and over what he had seen in the goggles the first time.
John was missing from her bed…again. She knew where he was. He was in the wine cellar with the goggles. The first time she woke to find him missing from their bed, that’s where she found him. Occasionally he spoke, but lately, he just seemed to watch. Kristen had no idea, because he never mentioned it to her. They were both still operating under the premise that John no longer used the goggles. He never said that he did, and Kristen never mentioned that she knew he was.
~ ~ ~ ~
Stefano is desperate to get Marlena out of the deep melancholy she’s in. According to the doctor she needs hope, and he thinks what he has to offer her might do that. He approached the door to her cage holding a silver case. Marlena watches him with apprehension, as she laid on the bed. She hadn’t moved for hours, but Stefano noticed that her eyes were alert, wary even.
“What do you want?” she asked him, watching him unlock the door, and enter.
“I brought you something, and once you see how it works, maybe you’ll finally trust me,” Stefano tells her.
“I’ll never trust you,” she says flatly, with no emotion in her voice.
“We’ll see,” he replies. Placing the case on the table, Stefano opens it, and removes a pair of googles. “These, Marlena, are going to allow you to see your daughter, since you have refused to allow me to bring her here.”
“I would never subject her to being around you…I’d rather be without her,” Marlena says, sitting up, and watching him warily.
Stefano finds himself feeling angry again. This woman was insufferable sometimes, but her refusal to accept him, only pushed him, and made him more determined to have her. She would eventually bow to his will, by force if necessary, but he hoped to avoid that. “I’ve arranged for you to see Belle. Go on…put them on…” Stefano told her, handing the goggles to her.
Marlena put the goggles on, and after some odd digital stuff, she found herself in her penthouse. She could see Belle coming down the stairs in the arms of the babysitter. Her blonde hair looked longer, and he pajamas were new. “Oh, I feel as if I could touch you. My sweetheart,” Marlena whispered. “I love you. I miss you. If I could just hold you…” Seeing Belle, but being unable to be with her, was almost more painful than what she had felt previously. Marlena wasn’t sure which hurt worse, not seeing her daughter, or seeing her, but being unable to hold her. Either way, she watched her daughter until the battery on the goggles died, and she was forced to recharge them.
Stefano had left her alone long before. Marlena closed the case with the goggles, and slid it under her bed. She laid down for the first time since she’d been taken, with a soft smile on her face. She knew that Stefano hoped, that by giving her the goggles, she might be complacent to his machinations. She wasn’t, but seeing Belle had been a balm to her soul, even if temporary.
She drifted off to sleep, her mind encompassed by memories of John…
“You said you wanna talk to me. Is everything okay?” John asked Marlena.
“Yes,” she said, refusing to make eye contact. She couldn’t look at him, not after what she had seen in the wine cellar. Just the image of John making love to Kristen tore at her heart, and she would never be able to rid her mind of that.
“You seem a little tense, as if something happened that might have upset you,” John didn’t want to ask her. He couldn’t ask her, but Abe had insinuated that Marlena may have seen him with Kristen earlier. She wouldn’t even look at him, and her continued avoidance confirmed that she had seen them.
“No,” she said again flatly.
“You be honest with me, Doc…” he hedged.
Marlena finally gathers herself enough to look at him, stating, “I, uh…nothing is upsetting me at all…I just thought, that I should come by, and tell you about my plans.”
“Your plans?” he asked her, confused.
“Yes, Stefano is gone, so there’s no need for me to stay here any longer, and so, I’m moving back to my penthouse…tonight,” she says, looking away again.She can’t look him in the eyes and tell him she’s leaving.
“You’re moving out?” John asks, feeling an odd sort of panic rise up in him.
“Yes. The security system at the apartment is more than adequate, and with Stefano gone, there’s no need to worry about my safety,” she says. She is leaving. She has to leave. Marlena doesn’t think her heart can handle another awkward, and painful moment like the one she endured today.
While Marlena was determined to go, John was even more determined to keep her there, “Stefano may be gone for now, but he’s not gone for good.”
“Well, I think he understands that he’s been defeated this time,” she said, sitting on the sofa.
“Doc! Come on…this is DiMera we’re talking about! He never gives up when he wants something, and right now he wants you!” John exclaimed, coming to her side, and sitting close to her. He reached out, turning her face to his, and forcing her to look at him. She looked down.
“Well, his feelings will fade,” she said, over simplifying everything.
“Come on! He is obsessed with you! You are his ideal woman, beauty and intelligence…of goodness and grace, the perfect woman!” John said with growing passion in his voice. He was desperate for her to understand. He couldn’t protect her if she wasn’t under his roof.
“I think you are exaggerating,” Marlena responded on a whisper, looking down at her tightly clasped fingers.
He gripped her jaw with his fingers, forcing her to look at him. “Well, I don’t think you know the effect you have on a man. You have a quality that is innate…and you’re not even aware of it, but a quality like that can ruin a man for anyone else, because there’s something about you that just gets into his heart, into his soul, and it’s…” John trails off, breathing hard, and watching her eyes open wider in shock.
She wanted him to finish. She wanted to know what he was going to say. “What?” she whispered, her voice rougher than usual.
“It’s…it’s nothing…” John got up, giving them both space. The sexual tension between then had been building for weeks, and he had just been so close to revealing his true feelings. It would destroy his friendship with Marlena, and it would destroy his relationship with Kristen. He turned back around, facing her, and said, “I want you to stay here.”
“No.”
“Doc, I want you to stay here!” he practically begged her.
“I can’t stay here!” she said. She stood up, looking directly at him, telling him, “I’m going to pack.”
~ ~ ~ ~
“I want different clothes,” Marlena stated over dinner, picking at her food.
“I have ensured that you have the loveliest clothing. The most well made, and fashionable clothes,” Stefano told her with a frown on his face. “What is wrong with the clothes that I have provided?”
“They’re uncomfortable. I’m stuck in this cage all day, and you’ve got me wearing dresses meant for evenings out. I want clothes intended for comfort, and I do not want to sit around looking like some type of possession,” Marlena told him bluntly. She was losing her patience with him, and his constant refusal to listen to what she was saying. If he was going to continue to hold her against her will, he could at least offer her some comfort.
“What types of clothing are looking for. I can have someone pick some up for you.”
“I want sweatpants, or cotton joggers. Maybe some t-shirts, or sweatshirts…but this…” she says pointing to her dress, “…needs to end,” she says firmly. “Also, this food. Can we have something besides French food for once?”
Stefano found himself getting flustered with her complaints. She had barely spoken to him since her arrival three months ago, but today was nothing but complaints – the food, her clothing, she wanted more fruit, she wanted a journal. Stefano was beginning to wish she would go back to being silent, but he would concede to these things, because if she was more accepting of him, perhaps they could finally leave the catacombs, and France. Stefano wiped his mouth gingerly with his napkin, and stood from the table, “Give your clothing sizes to Phillipe, and I will have new clothing brought to you tomorrow, Marlena. I can also speak with the chef. What types of food would you like?” Stefano walked slowly to the door of her gilded cage, turning and waiting for her response.
“Paneer, tikka masala, moussaka, maybe some meat jun, or kimchee. I don’t want to see another croissant, but some cornbread, and chili would be nice. Definitely food that isn’t French,” she said, pushing her fork around in her coq au vin, like she was bored, which she was. She had been here for three months, and if all she could do now was make Stefano uncomfortable, she would do it. She would do it, just to keep herself from losing her mind in the monotony her life had become. Watching Stefano become confused, and frazzled throughout dinner had been its own form of entertainment for her.
As if on cue, Phillipe entered the room, while Stefano unlocked her cage door, and exited, he said to the butler, “Phillipe, please get Marlena’s clothing sizes from her, so that I might purchase her some more comfortable clothing.” He said it with a barely concealed sneer. He couldn’t understand why she didn’t appreciate the fine things he provided her with. When she wore them she was beautiful.
“Yes, sir,” Phillipe replied with a small smile. He had been watching Marlena, and he knew that under her sadness, and her melancholy, there was a fighter. She just had to find herself. Now she was. He never was, and never had been a fighter. He’d been in Stefano’s service for well on twenty years, and stayed out of fear. Everyone who worked on the staff in the catacombs stayed simply because of the fear of retribution. Stefano DiMera wouldn’t hesitate to take a child, or a spouse to punish someone for what he might consider disloyalty. So they stayed, but Marlena Evans…she was a fighter and she was finally finding herself.
~ ~ ~ ~
“Oh, John. If only I knew how you really felt…if only I knew…” Marlena whispered, as she ran her fingers softly over his face. He had been under the effects of the medication for over an hour, and she had promised not to leave him. Kristen and Peter had been shocked when John said the Woman in White was Rachel Blake…their mother. While they were off trying to figure that mess out, Marlena was grateful for this private moment with John, away from Kristen’s prying eyes.
She put herself onto the bed beside him, placing herself closely behind him, speaking to him gently, and running her fingers through his hair. John rolled his body towards her, sighing, pushing his face into her, nuzzling into her breasts, and moaning. Marlena’s breathing picks up, and her hand rubs over the side of his neck. “What is it John? What are you thinking?” She whispers to him.
His eyes open, staring into her, while his hand reaches up to caress her neck, and loop behind it. “Oh, Doc…” he whispers, pulling her mouth to his. “I want you…G-d, I want you so bad,” he says before his mouth crashes into hers. His other arm slowly treks around her waist and over her ass, caressing her softly, and then squeezing her thigh. John pulls her down on the bed level with him, licking and moaning into her mouth, “Doc, Doc…”
Marlena doesn’t even know how her jacket became unbuttoned, but she took a short intake of breath, when John’s hand found her breast, and he pulled at her already pebbled nipple. “Oh, G-d, John!” she gasped.
Marlena woke with a start, her heart racing with her arousal. Her memory of that day burned so deeply in her mind, that she dreamed every detail exactly how it happened. It felt like she had just experienced it, when in actuality John’s kiss was nearly four months ago. Sometimes she would forget he was gone, and when she remembered it was as if he had died all over again. She found herself quietly whispering Stefano lies, to calm herself down. It was all she had to cling to, because the idea that she would never see him again, broke her heart over, and over again.
She hadn’t been outside in nearly three and a half months. Her body was beginning to confuse her days, and her nights. She was sleeping later in the mornings, while waking in the middle of the night. She would often use that time to pull the goggles from their case, and watch Belle, and Brady sleep. Tonight was no different. She sat quietly in the dark, staring at her beautiful baby girl, with her hot tears streaming down her face.
~ ~ ~ ~
After he caught Kristen in the wine cellar with the goggles, John told her, he threw them out…when in truth, he had hidden them at the penthouse. He had also started sleeping at the penthouse over the last week. Kristen was upset by it, claiming to want him near because of her pregnancy, but John justified it by saying that he wasn’t ready to move Belle and Brady into her house yet. Not when Marlena was still alive. Kristen argued that Marlena was dead, and he needed to accept it, but he saw Marlena every day, and she was most certainly not dead.
When John watched her, he studied her environment, and the people who came in and out, all in the hopes of using that information to determine where she was being held. It was impossible. One day her food was Korean, and the next day she was eating Greek. Her clothing had gone from stiff, and formal, to soft, cotton blend track suits. He couldn’t ever seem to read what she was writing in her journal, but more often than not, John just watched her, and loved her. He felt so helpless, and lost, but at least seeing her allowed him to know she was alive, and she was safe.
He glanced at the clock, and realized that the goggles would be done charging by now. He was staying in the guest room at the penthouse, but he kept the goggles in Marlena’s room. He felt more connected to her there, and it was easier to hide them, because for some reason…he felt like he needed to hide them. Putting them on, he had to wait a moment for them to activate. He expected to see Marlena sleeping, what he saw was Marlena sitting in the middle of her bed, with an identical pair of goggles. She was crying. He could hear her sobs, as clearly as if she were sitting beside him, and it made him ache with sadness for her. “Oh, G-d, don’t cry, Doc. Don’t cry,” John said softly.
Marlena became instantly quiet and still, opening her eyes at the sound of John’s voice. She was convinced she was having another dream, when she saw him standing by the foot of her bed. “John?” she whispered, reaching for him.
It was John’s turn to gasp in shock. “Doc?” he asked her. His heart was pounding painfully in his chest, and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. He was scared, so scared, that this might not be happening at all, but Marlena started sobbing uncontrollably.
“Are you real? Are you real…oh, G-d! John? Are you real?” she cried, scooting forward on her bed frantically, and trying to touch him.
“Yeah, Doc, yeah…what the f*ck? I don’t understand! I’ve been using these things for months and you haven’t heard me, not once!” he said rushing. This was overwhelming, and he had to calm himself down before he could continue. He slid to the end of Marlena’s bed, placing himself closer to her in proximity virtually. It was so surreal, feeling like he was this close to her, but in reality being nowhere near her.
“He said you were dead! He showed me a newspaper…I thought you were dead!” she said through her tears. She couldn’t stop crying, and felt herself starting to get sick from the rush of adrenaline she was experiencing.
“Stefano lies…Doc, Doc! Baby, breath, c’mon, breath,” John told her firmly. She seemed as if she was nearing a panic attack. So, he told her again, “Breath…please…”
“Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay,” Marlena says, while taking controlled breaths in, and out, forcefully calming herself.
John started talking quickly, “Doc, the charge on these things isn’t consistent. It could be an hour, or it could be twenty minutes, so I need as much information as you can give me in a short amount of time, okay?”
“Yes. Yes, okay,” Marlena says, still trying to slow her breathing, and calm her heart rate down.
“Do you know where you are?” John asked her, digging through her desk for a pencil, and paper.
“John? Are you in my bedroom?” she asked him curiously.
“Yes, it’s a long story. Answer the question, Doc. Do you know where you are?”
“Not exactly, but I think I’m in France,” she said slowly.
“Why?”
“Well, the butlers name is Phillipe, and he has this French accent.”
“That’s not enough, babes…”
“Well, the chef kept feeding me French food. So much French food that if I never see another croissant, it will be too soon…quiche, coq au vin, coquilles Saint Jacques, tartiflette…Oh, and the doctor was French too!” she said excitedly.
“Good, good, so you’re probably in France…but we can’t rule out parts of Canada, or somewhere else French speaking,” John said, scribbling furiously on the notepad. “Wait! Before we keep talking, these things are going to die, and I need to reach you again…can you do this again? Tomorrow, maybe? Same time? Do you have a clock?”
“I don’t…but I could ask Phillipe for one. My sleep has been off, because it’s always so dark in here. Stefano might allow one, if I say it’s to help regulate my sleep. What time is it there?”
“It’s about 9:15 pm. Can you remember that?”
“Yes.”
“G-d, Doc! I can’t believe I’m talking to you, this is so f*cking unreal. I’ve been talking to you for over a month, with no reaction,” he says.
“Stefano gave me the goggles to see Belle and Brady. I watch them all the time, mostly while they sleep.” Marlena starts crying again, overwhelmed with relief and shock, “Stefano told me he killed you over a month ago.”
“He tried, but I’m hard to kill,” John said with a smile. “What else can you tell me?”
“Hmmm, okay, I haven’t seen the sun since I was brought here. It’s dank, and musty smelling. It’s hard to see. The walls seem to be stone…but he has them covered with rugs…” Marlena said. “It feels like a huge basement, John, honestly…but I don’t know where I could be.”
“We’ll figure this out. This is the best information I’ve gotten, Doc. I’m going to find you, I swear…”
“I love you,” Marlena blurted out, reaching her hand out, wishing she could touch him.
John was silent for a long moment, his eyes roaming over her tear stained face, before he said to her, “I’ve always loved you, Doc…always.”
“Don’t trust Kristen, John. Don’t trust her,” Marlena told him hurriedly. Her goggles were starting to glitch, the way they did in the last few minutes before the battery died, she had to say this, before she lost contact with him. “She told Stefano what plane I was on! She called him, and told him…do you hear me? Please John! Tell me you hear me!”
“I hear you, Doc. I hear you,” John said with an immediate feeling of apprehension. He’d been feeling something odd about the way Kristen had been acting, but he just kept brushing it off, avoiding her instead. That’s why he’d been keeping the kids away from her, and started staying at the penthouse with them, he’d felt that something was off. Marlena just confirmed it.
“Please keep her away from my babies, John…please!” she begged him, right before her battery died, and John was left staring at her, in silence, while she packed her goggles back in the case, and slid it under her bed. John watched her climb back into bed, and he continued watching her until the battery on his goggles died too.
~ ~ ~ ~
“Mr. DiMera, it’s just a touch of food poisoning, or possibly a stomach virus. She’ll be fine in a couple of days. It’s nothing to worry about. Allow her some bed rest, and I’ll be back to check on her in a week,” the doctor told him, stepping back from Marlena’s bed. “Make sure she’s eating foods that aren’t heavy with cream, or fats…those will aggravate her stomach. Since she’s getting no sunlight, or fresh air, I’ve prescribed some vitamins for her.”
“Fine, fine…” Stefano said waving him off. He was getting tired of being down here in the catacombs. He had thought, when he originally brought Marlena here, that she would have accepted his love by now. They could have moved on from this place, but as it was, she was still a flight risk. Although, lately, she seemed to get some type of sick pleasure out of haranguing him, and being intentionally difficult, yet she seemed no closer to accepting him, even after four months.
He glanced over at her, sleeping soundly now, and wondered at her beauty. Even in sickness, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Wooing her with fine food, fancy gifts, and words of love, and praise had no effect on her at all. In his experience those things always worked…eventually. He would just have to continue.
~ ~ ~ ~
“So I caught Brady coloring his nose black today, with markers…and his upper lip yellow!” John said laughing, remembering finding his son behind the couch that morning.
“No! Why would he do that?” Marlena giggled, picturing the small boy with his face colored with marker.
“According to him? They were smelly markers, Doc. He wanted to smell them all day. That’s why he decided that the best way to do that, was to draw on his face. It took me forever to get the black color off of his nose. The color got all in his pores. I’m sure it will still be gray tomorrow, and the whole time he’s crying, as if I’m ruining his project!”
“So he wanted to smell licorice, and lemon all day? Smart boy, that kid of ours,” Marlena said with a smile. Her daily talks with John brought her the hope she needed. Just when she had been at her lowest, she connected with John using the goggles. Stefano had no idea, he knew she used them every day, because he sometimes asked about whether or not she had seen Belle. She’d answer him, giving him some sort of generic detail, to make him feel as if he had done her a grandiose favor by allowing her to have the goggles in the first place. Marlena had learned after four months of living in close proximity to Stefano, that he loved to have his ego stroked.
Marlena tried her best to keep the sadness out of her voice when she was spending time with John. She avoided telling him things that she found scary, or things that might make him more fearful for her, more fearful then he already was. Today had been one of those days, and while Marlena avoided telling John about it, he sensed her sadness underneath her lighthearted banter.
After a moment of silence, John finally asked her, “Are you gonna tell me what’s going on, Doc? Or are you going to keep pretending everything’s fine?”
“Everything is fine, John.”
“It’s not. I can tell it’s not,” he told her softly, with so much love and affection in his voice, she almost started weeping.
“I don’t want to upset you. That’s why I didn’t say anything. It’s just so hard to stay strong. I try to distract myself with writing, or watching the children, talking to you…but today Stefano suggested, for the second time, that I might be happier if I had another child…with him,” Marlena said.
John could hear the tears, and the abject fear in her voice. She was scared, and he hadn’t heard fear in her voice in the whole time they had been using the goggles to communicate. “What did he say?” John asked her quietly.
Marlena began to cry as she remembered what Stefano has said to her earlier in the day. Marlena began to speak, telling John, “He told me that ‘a child would bind us together forever’ and his love for me would grow stronger as his child grew within me. John, I told him no. Over and over again, but he seemed so fixated on the idea. He said I could give him a son to replace Tony…”
“Never, Doc. Never. I’m going to find you before that happens. I swear it,” John told her. He felt panic rising in him. They were running out of time. Stefano was losing his patience, he could sense it.
“I’m so alone. I miss you. I wish you could hold me,” she whispered.
“If I was there, baby, I would hold you all night,” John whispered back to her.
~ ~ ~ ~
“Kristen, you have to tell Johnny where Marlena is! She’s in the hands of a madman, and Johnny is the only means of her escape, and you’re keeping that information from him!” Rachel told her daughter. Rachel remembered Kristen when she was small. She had been such a sweet, kind, considerate, child, but after years under the influence of Stefano DiMera, Kristen had become selfish and vindictive.
“For the last time, if John finds Marlena, she’ll expose me! I will probably have a nervous breakdown, and lose my baby! Now, do you want that to happen?” Kristen yelled at her mother. She felt her world slowly imploding, and while she was doing everything she could to hold it off, she knew that something was going to happen – something big – to end it all. Her mother’s constant nagging at her, and telling her to be honest, and kind, were not helping. Kristen certainly didn’t think any of her current situation was her fault. She, instead, placed blame on her father, and Marlena. If her father hadn’t allowed John to find the goggles, John would believe that Marlena was dead by now. If Marlena hadn’t found out about the letter Kristen hid, she would still be playing the role of the martyred friend, and keeping her mouth shut about her love for John.
Kristen didn’t want John to find Marlena, but his distraction over finding her was certainly helpful to Kristen. Her fake pregnancy idea had come to her in a moment of desperation. After Marlena found the letter John wrote to her in Aremid, Kristen felt like she had no other option; however, keeping up the pretense of a non-existent pregnancy was difficult. She had everyone convinced, but it was exhausting. She had to walk as if she were pregnant, eat more food, take naps, and go to doctors appointments. It was convenient for Kristen that John had moved into the penthouse with Belle and Brady while he obsessed over finding his beloved ‘Doc’. It provided Kristen a break from her ‘pregnancy’ and it gave her time to work out her next step…finding an actual baby. It was time to contact her father. He was the only person she knew who was diabolical enough to help her carry this out, and Kristen knew that once her ‘baby’ was born she could pull John back in, but first, she had to go shopping. It was time to size up on her pregnancy pillow, and she would need some new clothes.
~ ~ ~ ~
“How are you feeling, Marlena?” Dr. Guion asked her with concern, while placing his stethoscope back in his black bag. He knew that she was a beautiful woman. That could not be denied, but the pallor of her skin was starting to worry him. He had told Stefano several times that she needed sunlight, and fresh air. He would have to say something again.
“I’m fine. Really, I am. I’m just so tired all of the time. I’m sleeping a lot,” she said quietly.
“Have you been taking your vitamins? What about your diet? Is Mr. DiMera giving you adequate fruits and vegetables?”
“He is. I know you’re concerned about my health…did I ever tell you I’m a doctor?” she said. “A psychiatrist.”
“Ah, so let me ask you this, have you psychoanalyzed Mr. DiMera yet?” He asked with a low chuckle.
Marlena starts laughing softly, “Oh, yes! Several times…just know, I am taking care of myself. I’m taking my vitamins, and eating right…no scurvy for me Dr. Guion.”
“Good. Good,” he said chuckling. As he exited her cage, he made eye contact with Phillipe. They were both worried about her, but out of fear for their families, they knew they were condemning her, and yet, she didn’t blame them for it. All he could do was see her regularly, and make sure she was healthy.
~ ~ ~ ~
Laura knocked on the penthouse door, praying that John was home. She felt herself physically exhale the large breath she must have been holding, when John answered the door holding a sleeping Belle in his arms. Her head was snuggled into her fathers chest, and her thumb was locked in her little mouth. “Oh, thank G-d you’re home,” she said almost breathlessly.
“Laura, come in. Are you okay?” John asked her quietly, hoping not to rouse Belle.
“I saw something…well, I’m almost certain I saw something. I just need you to believe I saw it, because I swear, John, I swear, I am not losing my mind,” Laura said emphatically.
“Do you need some water? Anything?” John asked her, opening the door wider, and allowing her to enter. Laura had been increasingly erratic over the last few weeks, insisting that Stefano had killed Daniel Scott, that Peter was alive, and that Stefano had used a laser on her brain, and while most people would consider her insane…John did not consider it outside of the realm of possibility. Especially since, he spent his evenings talking to Marlena using a pair of virtual reality goggles.
John walked with Belle toward the sofa and sat down gingerly, lying Belle down on the cushion beside him. Marlena had been gone six months now, and he worried every day that Belle and Brady were forgetting her. He spent the majority of his time with them, showing them pictures, and reminding them of their mother, and how much she loved them. After making sure Belle was still asleep, her leaned towards Laura, across the coffee table, and tells her, “I’m listening.”
“Kristen’s not pregnant.”
“What? Laura, are you sure? I’ve gone to doctor’s appointments with her,” John told her. He wasn’t saying that Laura was lying, it was just hard to comprehend that Kristen might be lying to him in such cruel way.
“Hear me out, please. I was at Salem Place trying to pick out an outfit for this meeting I have tomorrow, and I had to use the restroom. I was in the bathroom stall, but those things are horrible for privacy. There are large gaps, and honestly, you can see everything…” Laura said beginning to ramble. John looked at her with his eyebrow cocked, and she took a breath, continuing, “So Kristen came in. I’m assuming she thought she was alone, and through the gap in the bathroom stall, I saw her adjust a pillow…under her dress. She’s not pregnant, John. I know it.”
“A pillow?” John repeated. His mind was in turmoil. If Kristen wasn’t pregnant, she’d been lying for months. “A pillow?”
“Yes. I swear it. Then she said, rather loudly I might add, ‘this one doesn’t fit right’, and moved it around some more. No one has a pregnant belly that is adjustable, John!” Laura exclaimed in whispered tones. “Marlena told me she was suspicious of the timing of Kristen’s pregnancy…but this confirms it.”
“She won’t allow me to feel the baby kick. I haven’t been to any ultrasound appointments, although she always has pictures…” John mumbled. His mind was reeling, but he had to know. If she was lying, if she had been lying, she was further gone, under Stefano’s control, then he had previously thought.
~ ~ ~ ~
“Are you cold?” John asked Marlena.
“It’s always cold here,” she tells him. “I’m constantly wearing sweatshirts, extra socks, you name it. The doctor checks me. I think he, and Phillipe, are concerned about me. I guess no outside air, and sunlight for six months is cause for concern. Stefano complains about my new fashion choices. I guess me bundled up in track suits, and fuzzy slippers isn’t his idea of sexy,” Marlena said laughing.
“Good. Stay that way. I don’t want that lousy bastard looking at you like that anyway,” John said. “I wanted to tell you, Laura came by today…she told me something you might find interesting. She thinks Kristen might be faking her pregnancy.”
“Faking it? I knew it! Okay, well, I didn’t know, but I thought the timing was odd. She told you she was pregnant within a couple days of me confronting her about the letter…” Marlena said, her voice trailing off at the end.
“Doc?”
“Hmmmm?”
“What letter?” John asked, because he had a pretty fair idea which letter she was talking about, and he’d thought it was lost.
“The letter you wrote me in Aremid,” Marlena said softly. “Kristen found it, then she hid it from you…and from me. I found it tucked inside the book you loaned me. I didn’t know at the time that she had hidden it, but later I heard her talking to her mother about it. She was explaining why she felt she needed to hide it. That’s when you caught us arguing upstairs that night?” Marlena explained to him. “I was going to try, and find a time to talk to you privately, and suddenly she was pregnant…and it was high risk. I had my doubts. I told Laura that I had doubts…but then Kristen told Stefano what plane I was on. I asked Stefano how she knew, but he just told me to focus on my new life.”
“I told Abe, Doc…but I also told Kristen,” John said softly. “I was half asleep, exhausted from planning with Abe, and Kristen told me she was worried about you. She asked me, and thinking I could trust her…I told her.” John stood up from Marlena’s bed, and began pacing, “It’s my f*cking fault we’re in this mess.”
“John, no. Think about it. How is it your fault that the woman who was supposed to love you, and keep your secret, told her father how to kidnap me? That’s not your fault. It’s not.”
“Doc, you’ve been gone for six months. I know you’re in France somewhere…somewhere, but where? I have no idea! The more time goes by the more panic I feel, and now this thing with Kristen…but I’m going to find out, Doc…tomorrow.”
~ ~ ~ ~
John showed up at the DiMera house unannounced. In the hopes of catching Kristen off guard, he decided to show up at 6:00 in the morning. He entered the bedroom, and the first thing he noticed was a lavender colored satin pillow with velcro, and elastic fastenings lying on the floor, as if it had been carelessly discarded, and fallen off the end of the bed. He stooped, and picked the pillow up, turning it over, and over in his hands. Approaching the side of the bed, he roused Kristen. At first she smiled up at him in a sleepy manner, pushing her hair our of her face, but that ended when John held up the pillow, and said, “We need to talk.”
He left nearly an hour later. He was no longer engaged. His few belongings that were still there, were now shoved into a duffle bag, and he left a sobbing, inconsolable Kristen at the front door begging him to forgive her. She had admitted everything, hiding the letter, faking the pregnancy, and she even admitted to calling Stefano, and telling him which plane Marlena would be on. In John’s mind, that was the most damning thing she did. To keep him, and rid herself of Marlena, she had allowed her sick, twisted father to kidnap an innocent woman, condemning her to an unknown existence. Kristen begged, and pleaded with John not to leave her. He left anyway, because what she did was not forgivable.
~ ~ ~ ~
“I don’t know how much longer I can hide it,” Marlena said to the doctor in low, hushed tones.
Dr. Guion just stared at her for a long moment, with sadness in his eyes, “I was wondering when we were going to discuss it.”
“I’d hoped, John would have found me by now, but he hasn’t, and I don’t have much time left,” she said with a hint of hysteria in her voice. Dr. Guion avoided answering most of her more detailed questions, but she decided to ask him anyway, “Can you at least tell me the date?”
Dr. Guion looked quickly to see if Mr. DiMera was near, and he muttered quickly, “It’s the first day of December.”
Marlena sat there for a moment, and finally said to the doctor, “Six months, plus two weeks…technically six and a half months. Oh, G-d, he’s going to figure this out! I’m going to get bigger, and he’ll know.”
Dr. Guion had known she was pregnant since he’d diagnosed her with food poisoning a few months ago, but he took her lead, and never mentioned that he knew. Marlena was an incredibly intelligent women, she’d known that he knew. There was nothing to be done for it. She was trapped. Locked in a gilded cage like a beautiful bird, with clipped wings. All they could do was make sure her diet was healthy, she took vitamins, and Stefano didn’t find out before she was rescued. The last one was no guarantee.
She starts crying softly, trying to hold in her sobs. She glances at Stefano off to the side, reading a book, and then back to the doctor, “He’ll take my baby. He won’t allow me to keep it if he knows it’s John’s!” Marlena feels the panic rising in her, and tries to force herself to calm down. It’s not good for the baby, and there’s nothing she can do to fix her situation right now. Calm down, Marlena.
“I’ll be back in two weeks. I’ll tell Mr. DiMera that it’s to check your vitamin levels, since he’s not allowing you any sunlight or fresh air,” the doctor told her softly, standing up to leave. Turning to Stefano he says, “Mr. DiMera, I’ll need to return in two weeks time. She is slightly anemic, so if you could have your chef supply her with more dark, leafy greens that would help…but so would some sunlight and fresh air.”
“Dr. Guion, I do not pay you to come here, and question my methods or my choices. I will see that Marlena gets what she needs. I will be out of town for a couple weeks myself, but Phillipe will make sure that she is well taken care of,” Stefano told him.
Marlena looked up quickly. This was the first she’d heard of Stefano leaving. Although, when he was around, she usually stayed seated at the table, or curled up in bed, to hide her advancing pregnancy. She’d even taken to middle of the night showers, to avoid him looking in on her. Stefano saw her watching him, and told her, “I need to check on Kristen. She is not handling John’s…death…very well.” Marlena almost laughed, because she knew exactly what Kristen was not handling well, and it wasn’t John’s death…it was John’s dismissal.
~ ~ ~ ~
Six and a Half Months Earlier…
John knocked sharply on Marlena’s penthouse door, waiting with impatience for her to open it. He knew it was late, and she was likely asleep, but she had snuck off when he was meeting with Abe, because she knew he wouldn’t be okay with this.
Marlena answered the door, unsurprised to see John standing there, seething. His eyes roamed over her, taking in her attire of sweatpants, and his old Salem PD t-shirt. He could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra, she never did when she slept, which meant she probably wasn’t wearing panties either. He felt his c*ck stir in his jeans, as his eyes roamed over her. He watched her nipples pebble under the t-shirt, and when he finally glanced up he caught Marlena watching him. Anytime he had ever seen Marlena wearing his clothes, he wanted to tear them off, and f*ck her. She knew that, and yet there she was with a smirk on her face watching him look her over. She also knew he would come looking for her, after her abrupt disappearance from Kristen’s house earlier. So, she wanted an argument. He could give her one.
Striding in without an invitation, John said,“I don’t want you back in this penthouse, Doc. I don’t want Belle here, either.”
She knew this was coming, and she was prepared for it, “I’ve got to be back in my own place, John, and now I am.”
“Doc, I’ll tell you what. Come back to the house with me, and just stay there until Stefano makes a move, then I nail him. Alright?” he asked her, trying to make concessions in the hope that she would comply.
She didn’t. She instead said, “I can’t hide forever.”
“Well, Doc, if you stay here, I can’t protect you!” John said, with his voice rising in frustration.
Realizing that this conversation wasn’t going to end anytime soon, Marlena closed the door, and turned on one of the lamps, saying, “You can’t always protect me anyway, John. You’re not infallible.”
“Yes, I can! Because I want to…please…” John pleaded with her.
“I know you do, but it’s better this way,” she told him, turning away from him and walking towards the couch. As much as leaving the house to come here had hurt her, staying there, while John and Kristen seemed to live in romantic bliss, was much more painful. Watching them day in, and day out, with Kristen intentionally throwing their relationship in Marlena’s face…it was too much.
John stared at her ass as her hips swayed, and again, felt a stirring in his jeans. He walked up behind Marlena, before she could sit down, wrapped his strong arms around her shoulders, and pulled her back against him. He rubbed his face in her hair, and took a deep breath, saying with desperation in his voice, “Doc, please, please don’t do this. Don’t do this. Please, come home with me, I’m begging you…you’re right, I won’t always be able to protect you, but if you’re with me, then I know you’ll be safer then you are alone.”
Marlena was honestly getting tired of his mixed signals. Did he want her, or didn’t he? She pulled out of his arms, spinning to face him. “I appreciate your concern, but, uh, your place is with Kristen. She’s the one who needs you right now,” Marlena told him. She hated saying it, but reminding him of his other obligations might help him understand that she needed her space.
He didn’t get the hint, or he ignored it, saying, “I’ll be there for her, but if you’re there, I can watch over you too.” However, to John, the significant difference was that Stefano didn’t want to kidnap his own daughter, or take her away from everyone she loved. Kristen was essentially safe…but Marlena was not. He took a step closer, reaching for her face, as if he would touch her.
Marlena shook her head, stepping out of his reach, frustrated, and saying, “I’ll just be in the way.”
“No, no. Kristen wants you there, too. She said so,” he said to her, thinking that would help his cause. It didn’t.
“Well, she’s just terribly sweet,” Marlena said without bothering to disguise her dislike or disgust. “But the truth is, that her job right now is to try, and have a bond with you, become a family, and create a bond with her mother…”
John roughly shoves his hand through his hair in frustration, “Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. But don’t you see, that we can do all of that, and we can keep you safe too.”
“No…no. My mind is made up. Stefano is gone, and there is no evidence to the contrary. I’ll be just fine,” she says turning away from him, and walking towards the door to open it, so he could leave.
“All right. I’m not going to fight you on this, if you’re determined,” he said with reluctant agreement.
“I am,” Marlena said, watching John walk to the door, reach outside into the hallway, grab a duffle bag, and come back in. Without a word to her, he walked up the stairs. “John!” she whispered loudly at his retreating back. When she got no response, she set the security alarm on her door, and ran up the stairs after him.
Marlena found John in her guest room, pulling a pair of pajama bottoms out of his duffle bag. Turning to look at her he said, “Are there towels in the bathroom, Doc?”
“John, what do you think you’re doing?”
“Obviously, I’m taking a shower. It’s been a long day. I’m tired—”
“—But why here?” She asked, interrupting him.
“You know why, Doc,” he replied to her, pulling his shirt off over his head, and stepping up to her. He trailed his fingertips over her jawline, softly, saying, “Every time I feel like I’ve lost you again, a piece of my soul breaks off. When the ISA took you, when Orpheus had you, the plane crash, the possession, and now, this newest threat from Stefano…Doc! I will die if I lose you again. I don’t think I could survive it!”
With her head tilted up, she stared into his eyes, and saw something she hadn’t seen in awhile. He was no longer trying to hide how he felt about her, and it was all plainly evident on his face, but there was still the issue of Kristen, and the baby, and their future…whatever that may be. Marlena said in a whisper, “John, I’m fine. I really am. It’s not your job to watch over me.”
“I wouldn’t trust anyone else to do it, Doc,” he said matter of factly. “What about the soap?”
“Hold on,” she said in frustration, walking out, and down the hall to get soap for the guest bathroom. By the time she returned to the guest room, she heard the shower water running, and saw a pile of clothes on the floor near the end of the bed. Her breath caught in her chest. “Is he doing this to me on purpose?” she asked herself before stepping into the bathroom.
She stood arrested in the doorway, watching the water run down John’s back and over his butt. He had his head shoved under the water, rubbing his hands over his face and pushing his hair back. Marlena felt her nipples tighten up under her t-shirt, and a deep throb started in her p*ssy. If this had been any other situation, any other point in their lives together, she might have gotten in with him, but it wasn’t. Too much was unsaid. Marlena wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing there staring at John’s glorious, water soaked body, before he finally turned around and caught her.
John knew she was standing there, and he intentionally took his time. Knowing that she was behind him, staring at his naked form, turned him on. When he turned around his c*ck was already hard, and his eyes were blown with arousal. He wanted her, and he knew, she wanted him. If she didn’t want this, she would have left the soap, and ran…she didn’t. John’s eyes ran over her body again, in her slouchy, misshapen, attire, and his c*ck twitched. Marlena was watching him, her lips slightly parted, and her breath coming in quick pants.
Stepping out of the spray of the water, and opening the glass shower door, John reached towards her, saying roughly, “Come here, Doc.” She stepped towards him, with the bar of soap clasped in her hand so tightly, that her knuckles were white. Prying her fingers open, he placed the soap in the dish, pulled her flush to him, using her wrist as leverage, and whispered to her, “What do you want?”
The water rolling down his body, thick with steam, soaked her t-shirt, and her sweatpants. Water ran down his face, from his hair, and the liquid pooled on his lips. The rational side of Marlena, the side she presented to the world, told her to step back, take a breath, and leave the bathroom, immediately. Only she, and John, knew about the other side of her. The side that smeared whipped cream over his lips, and licked it off while moaning his name. The side that had taken over on the plane, the night Belle was conceived. The side that allowed John to ravage her body on a conference room table, at Titan Publishing. John stared into her eyes wondering which version he was talking too, so he decided to push her. Threading his fingers through her hair, and pulling her mouth to within an inch of his, he said, “I think you know what I want, Doc. I’ve wanted it for for weeks. What do you want?”
She couldn’t fight this anymore. She couldn’t play the role of the martyr, when she wanted to be selfish. She broke, exclaiming, “Oh, G-d!” Her fingers reached up to brush over John’s lips roughly, before she said, on a frantic breath, “I want you.”
“F*ck, yes,” he said into her lips before his mouth devoured her. His tongue sliding over the seam of her lips, before pushing its way in. Marlena moaned into his mouth, and started biting at his lips and sucking on them. John’s c*ck swelled even more, causing a divine mixture of pain and pleasure. He pulled back from her slightly, taking in her gorgeous face, aroused, and breathing frantically short, gasping breaths, and he pushed her sweatpants to the floor. Without further thought, John pulled Marlena into the shower with him, still in her t-shirt. Her hands grasped his head, and pulled his mouth back to her greedily, while pleading, mewling sounds came from her lips. She felt his swollen c*ck pushing into her belly, and she moaned even louder. It had been so long, and her body was desperate for him.
John’s head leaned down, his teeth biting at her breasts and her nipples through the soaked, cotton of her t-shirt. “John, John…John…” she gasped, as his hot mouth engulfed her breast through the fabric, and sucked deeply, greedily. Marlena felt the pull deep in her core, as hot wetness spilled from her, onto her thighs. “Take it off. John, please…take it off,” she said scrambling to get the wet t-shirt off of her body. “I need to feel you. I need to feel you!”
Her t-shirt was torn from her body, hitting the floor of the shower with a wet slap. John’s arms wrapped around her body, his hand’s sliding down over her ass, and lifting her up. As her legs wrapped around his hips, he slammed their bodies into the wall of the shower, biting and sucking her neck. “F*ck, Doc! F*ck! You feel so good,” he said into her heated skin, while sliding his engorged d*ck along the lips of her pussy.
“I need you..oh, G-d, John! Please! I need you,” Marlena said, biting along his neck, and licking along his ear lobe.
He pulled back, and then slid into her p*ssy. The heat of her, the tightness, causing his vision to go black for a moment. He rests his face in her neck, breathing deeply, afraid that if he moved he would come instantly. “Doc, Doc…G-d, you feel so f*cking good!” he rasped out. “I’ve missed you, your mouth, your body, …your soul,” he said gripping her hips so tightly she would have bruises later. He pulled out, and slammed back in making them both cry out. Once he started moving he couldn’t stop. The friction and the pull of him on her cl*t had Marlena coming in mere moments. The pulsing of her pussy, and the rolling of her inner wall over his c*ck had him climaxing soon after.
Holding her body tightly against him, John moaned into her mouth, as he continued to kiss her, “I love you.”
“I love you too, John…I always have,” she whispers.
~ ~ ~ ~
“I miss you, Doc,” John whispered into the silence of her penthouse bedroom.
“I miss you too,” Marlena said. “How are Brady, and Belle? I’m so afraid that they are going to forget me.”
“I show them pictures of you everyday. I tell them stories about their mama. Everyone may think I’ve lost my mind, but I won’t tell the children…I won’t tell them you’re dead…I won’t,” he told her.
“I’m so lonely. The only people I really talk to are Phillipe, and Dr. Guion. When Stefano is here, he sometimes eats dinner with me, but I frustrate him,” she said smiling. “It’s partly for fun…but another part of me does it because I’m angry.”
“Well, Doc, you have every right to be angry. We all do,” John told her. “That f*cking bastard, taking you away from your family…away from me.”
“He’s been gone for nearly two weeks today, and you won’t believe his excuse,” Marlena told him with a small smirk. “He’s helping Kristen deal with your death…”
“My death…more like my jilting of Kristen,” he said with some snark.
“I wanted to tell you…I think I might be near Paris.”
“Are you sure?”
“Phillipe mentioned taking his daughters for a walk along the Seine…that’s in Paris, right?” she asked him, with hope rising in her belly.
“Paris…wait, wait! Doc, tell me again about where you are,” John asked he excitedly. His mind was starting to turn over all of the information she had given him over the last couple of months, and he went back to her description of where she was…dark, dank, stone walls. He’d been stuck researching castles, but this changed everything. France was huge. If she was in Paris, he could figure this out.
“We don’t know where I am, John…that’s what we’re trying to figure out.”
“No, no, not that…tell me about the room you’re in,” John says excitedly. “You described it to me once. You said it was like a big basement, but tell me more.”
“Um, um, okay, the walls are stone. They’re covered in tapestry, but some places that aren’t covered…I have seen moss, or something growing on them. Oh, and Sometimes, late at night, I swear I can hear water tickling, but the sound is so faint, I can’t be sure,” she told him.
John ran over what he knew about Paris, and said, “The catacombs. F*cking h*ll, Doc! He’s got you in the catacombs! Do you know what this means, baby? I’m bringing you home!”
~ ~ ~ ~
Stefano never thought this was how he’d die. He’d always imagined that he would go down in a blaze of glory, taking everyone he hated with him. He certainly never thought that he’d die at the hands of the other woman he’d victimized…Rachel Blake. As he laid on the floor, bleeding out from a bullet wound to the chest, he watched Rachel crash to the floor, with the gun still in her hand, gasping for breath, as she panicked over what she’d done. She was a shell of the woman she was…and he did that to her, then discarded her like she’d never meant anything. Everything started to move in slow motion, Kristen entered the room screaming, later police, and paramedics, but it was too late…he knew it was too late. He would die…and this time, his arrogance wouldn’t save him.
~ ~ ~ ~
Marlena knew that John was in the city, working with the local police to search the catacombs. The process was long, and drawn out because the tunnels were so extensive, but he wasn’t giving up. He had been at it for days, and checked in with her every evening, tired and exhausted, but refusing to give up.
She was tired and exhausted too, but for different reasons. Today had been especially hard, since she’d been having what she thought were Braxton Hicks contractions all day. Phillipe had finally been informed of her pregnancy by herself and Dr. Guion after she was simply unable to hide it any more. He doted on her even more now, playing board games, and telling her stories he grew up with. Stefano was overdue to return, which was causing her even more anxiety, because he would know, as soon as he saw her, that she was pregnant. She felt as if she was huge. Dr. Guion had told Phillipe what to do if she went into labor prematurely, especially if Stefano had not yet returned. Marlena almost wished for it, because it would get her out of the catacombs. The only thing still keeping her there were Phillipe and Dr. Guion’s fear for their lives, as well as the lives of their families. She didn’t blame them. She sat bundled up on her bed in the early evening hours watching Belle and Brady sleep, when she heard him.
“Doc?” He was late, but she was smiling anyway.
“Hi,” she whispered.
“Hey, baby, I got some news…I just got off the phone with Abe. Honey, Stefano is dead,” John told her.
“What?” Marlena said in shock, sitting up so quickly another cramp hit her, causing her to cry out in pain.
“Doc! Are you okay?” John asked her with concern in his voice.
“Yes…it’s, um, just a muscle cramp…I’ve been getting them a lot lately,” she said quietly. She hadn’t told John about the baby. He didn’t need something else to worry about, and telling him would only scare him. He was already trying to hide how much he feared for her now, adding a baby to that…a baby born while in the hands of Stefano DiMera…Marlena felt like that might be too much for him.
“The Woman in White…Rachel Blake…she shot him in his sleep,” John told her. Marlena was rocked by another strong cramp, this one stronger than the last, and followed by a gush of fluid.
“John! Oh, G-d! John!” she cried. She called out for Phillipe, too.
John was confused, “Doc! Baby, what’s going on…Doc!”
Marlena was panting and seemed to be in excruciating pain. It reminded him of something but he could’t seem to remember what. “John? John…the American Hospital…meet me at the American Hospital…” Marlena gasped.
~ ~ ~ ~
John had no idea what was going on, but he rushed to the American Hospital, which was in Paris, but on the opposite side of the city from where he’d been searching. He hadn’t told Marlena, but Bo and Hope were both with him, involved in the search for her, because while everyone else believed her dead…both Bo and Hope knew enough about Stefano to believe she might be alive. The three of them approached the nurse’s station in the emergency room at break neck speed, but before John could even ask about Marlena, he was approached by a small man, who said to him, “Are you here for Marlena?”
“Oh, my G-d! Yes, yes! Are you Phillipe?” John practically roared.
“Yes. Follow me,” he said turning and walking down a long hallway, away from the emergency area, and entering the maternity ward. Phillipe turned to John saying, “She needs you right now. She has done nothing but talk of you, and the children, since Mr. DiMera brought her here. I have done my best to take care of her…she said, um…she told me that…”
“The lousy, f*cking, bastard is dead? Yeah, he is,” John told him watching him warily. John watched as Phillipe took a breath, and visibly exhaled in relief. He immediately seemed lighter.
“That is good to know. I believe Dr. Guion will be relieved as well,” Phillipe said. “She’s in there Mr. Black. Your friends will have to wait out here with me. I can catch them up…”
John was beyond confused right now, but if Marlena was in that room, he could worry about being confused later. Upon entering the room, it was chaos. Complete chaos, and none of it mattered except the woman sitting in the bed, staring at him, and crying his name. “Doc! Marlena…thank G-d!”
“Oh no, oh no…another one! Dr. Guion!” she cried squeezing John’s hand.
“Are you ready Marlena? You need to push hard this time, and the baby will be born.”
“Baby? Doc?”
“Your baby…our baby…oh, G-d!” Marlena cried as the contraction hit her. She pushed with all of her might. She had John. She was out of the catacombs, and she was about to be a mother, again.
A piercing cry filled the room, and Dr. Guion said, “It is a girl, Marlena, a beautiful girl! She is small, but she is healthy!”
“Another girl?” Marlena said, laughing, looking at John. Tears were rolling over his cheeks, and his mouth was wide in shock.
Dr. Guion handed the baby to John, and he just stared at her in awe for a moment. “Doc? A baby? Our baby?”
She just nodded at him, crying softly, reaching out, and touching her daughter’s hand. She turned away from John suddenly, with a look of panic on her face, crying out, “Dr. Guion…oh, no…another contraction…why am I having…”
“Another head is crowning! Marlena, it is twins!” the doctor laughed.
“Twins!” John exclaimed, holding his daughter tightly, looking for somewhere to place her, because he was feeling a little lightheaded. A nurse appeared by his side with a huge smile, and took the baby from his arms, laughing at him. Marlena was pushing again, and all John could do was wipe the hair from her forehead, kiss her softly, and tell her she was the strongest woman he knew.
“Another girl!” Dr. Guion said with a smile. “You are like a Valkyrie, Marlena. A strong, warrior, woman. Look at what you have done today!”
~ ~ ~ ~
“I love you, Lady. I love you with everything that I am,” John whispered as he placed a soft kiss on her lips. They were flying back to Salem with their daughters, identical twins Camille and Amelie. Marlena had allowed Phillipe and Dr. Guion to name the girls, since they had been one of the main reasons the babies had been so healthy. The babies were asleep, and Marlena snuggled into John’s arms. She didn’t know what life held for them when they returned, all she knew was that she was with John…and that was all that ultimately mattered.
The Jarlena Journal 