Broken – By Sweetiepie2904

An overwhelming feeling of deep, seeded grief; it was the only way she could put into words of how she felt right now at this very moment. Rolling onto her side, she clutched the pillow tighter beneath her head as she let out a sob against the satin, cotton material. Moving out of the penthouse tonight was ultimately her last resort; one that she never thought she could honestly go through with. But after seeing Brady come home in his wheel chair tonight, she couldn’t bear the thought of enduring his wrath and most of all seeing his handicapped form day in and day out.

Lying alone in the queen sized bed, she stared out through the window and into the moonlit night. Thinking of how much her life had changed dramatically over the past few months caused another batch of raw tears to shake her body with emotion as they poured from her eyes. First it was John’s infidelity with Hope or Gina, and now Brady. Two situations she’s wanted nothing more than to throw in the towel and walk away from, but she couldn’t. It was her love of her husband and family that kept her rooted in this spot seemingly with no way out.  

Donning one of John’s old Salem PD t-shirts as her sleep attire, she reached for another tissue from the box on the nightstand as she dabbed her eyes. After seeing John at Bo and Hope’s Engagement/Christmas party tonight, she now regretted her words of telling him ‘to leave me alone’. She wanted him with her now; she needed him more than anything. She needed for him to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything would be okay, that they would get through this. She needed to lay her head against his strong chest and fall asleep listening to the constant beating of his heart, the only sound that put her worries to ease and her grief to subside.

Resting her hand along the plane of her stomach, she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath as she thought of the news she received earlier. Right after John had left her at the hospital from their “reassurance” talk, she had gotten the tests results she had been waiting on pins and needles for. She remembered how she anxiously opened the manila folder and scanned the coded paper, searching for the answers to her silent questions. Pregnant; nearly one month pregnant with her and John’s baby. She remembered feeling her heart flutter and the small joy that consumed her as she thought of going home and telling him the joyous news. But his fear of Hope telling Bo the truth about the father of the baby pushed all that hope aside. Her energy spent worrying and trying her best to convince him that it wasn’t wise to rush in and blurt such a fact, caused her to forget of the bundle she had to share with him. And then Belle bringing Brady home in his wheelchair through their front door only solidified her reasoning that it would be best to wait. ‘I guess it’s just you and me.’ She whispered to her unborn child. Readjusting her head along the pillow, she decided to forget the troubles of her life and focus on getting a decent nights rest. Pulling the comforter tighter around her chest, she closed her eyes as she let the emotional exhaustion consume her.

She had barely been asleep for thirty minutes when she heard him opening the door. Silently closing the door and turning the lock, John placed the hotel key on the nearby dresser as his eyes traveled to the bed. Arriving home to a quiet, dark penthouse and his children in bed for the night, he knew this night would be anything but restful for him. Slowly climbing the staircase to their bedroom, the absence of her presence hit him harder than he expected. As soon as he opened the door, the scent of her very essence enveloped him like a strong tidal wave. His solemn gaze traveling towards their bed, he couldn’t imagine sleeping in it without her. Although she told him to leave her alone, there was no way in hell he was going to let that happen. Regardless of what they went through, he needed her and he knew more than anything she needed him. Showering quickly and leaving the children a note, he jumped into his car and sped on the interstate as he finally found himself where he knew he needed to be.

Taking off his black leather coat, he draped it along the back of the couch as he watched her still form, waiting for her to turn over and acknowledge his presence. Getting a key for her room wasn’t much of hassle, not that he was expecting one. Being that they frequented the Salem Inn many times throughout the year, the staff knew them quite well and promptly checked him in with no questions asked.

Turning from her side and onto her back, she didn’t have to question whether it was him or not; she smelled the slight scent of his cologne as soon as he closed the door. Staring back at his tall, dark form she settled herself amongst the pillows as she lay silent and waited for his next move. Quickly sliding his shirt up and over his head along with removing his shoes and jeans, he draped all articles of clothing along the chair as he stood before her in his boxers; taking a deep breath, he prepared himself for any fight she may put up.

Slowly crawling from the bottom of the bed up to her, he rested his hands into the mattress on either side of her head as he peered down at her. Trailing her eyes from his strong legs, chiseled stomach and blank face, she wondered what was going to happen tonight.

“What are you doing here?” She heard herself ask.

“You need me.” Was his simple answer. The sound of his deep truth was enough to cause the tears to well back up into her sensitive and tired eyes. Placing her hand back along her stomach, she swallowed nervously as she suddenly felt the unintended pressure of telling him of her little secret.

“I do. But John…” His finger against her lips quieting her, she searched his eyes eagerly in the darkened room for what he was about to do.

“I love you. That’s all that matters. Forget about our problems; focus on us right now. Tonight… it’s just you and me.” Bending his head down to hers, his eyes matched her gaze briefly as he asked her for silent permission. Removing her hand from beneath the sheets, she placed it along his neck as she pulled his head down to hers. Kissing her in the sweetest of kisses, she moaned softly into his mouth as he moved his over hers.

Opening her mouth for him to receive more access, she slid her hands around to his muscled back as she pulled him down closer. She had to admit, making love to him the moment of his unexpected arrival was not the first thing she expected on his hidden agenda. But nonetheless, she couldn’t complain; he was right. She needed him and he needed her.

Breaking their kiss so that he could join her beneath the covers, she gasped softly as he positioned himself between her legs. Once again joining their lips, she clung to him tightly…never wanting the moment to end. Grinding himself into her panty shrouded centre, he groaned deeply into her mouth as their slow kisses became passionate and hungry.

Her lips now reddened and feeling slightly swollen, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of his lips make their way from hers to the skin of her neck. Bending her neck down to place kisses along his neck as well, she froze when she felt him begin to raise the hem of the t-shirt. Her first thought of their unborn child, she didn’t know how or if she should tell him about the baby at this very moment. She knew he would be beyond ecstatic, considering they had talked about adding onto their family just a year ago. That dream seemed a far fetch for awhile considering all of the problems that were hurled their way. But now, their small dream had finally happened and she felt as if this baby could be their miracle.

“Honey.” She whispered. Sucking tenderly on that spot just below her ear, she cried out softly as his actions caused her pleasure to increase and settle between her thighs.

“Hmm?” Threading her fingers through his dark hair, she pulled him closer into the crook of her neck as his wet tongue, moist lips and deep breaths awakened all nerves within her body.

“I have to tell you something.” Pulling back from her, he stared down at her now reddened skin in the moonlight completely satisfied. Bending down to peck the love bite one more time, he leaned up from her to sit back along his feet as he stared down at her.

“What is it?” He asked as he removed the t-shirt completely from her body with her assistance. Now lying beneath in nothing but her cotton panties, she felt oddly exposed as her hands once again found their way to her stomach.

“I um…I had some tests done.” Taking her hands within his, he placed them gently above her head and beneath the pillow as he pecked her lips.

“Oh yeah? Something wrong?” Moving her mouth erotically along his, she was unsure if she should tell him her little secret now or not. He was far too preoccupied with bringing the much sought pleasure within their bodies.

“No. Everything is perfect actually.” She whispered, once they broke their kiss for some air. Letting her hands go, he began his slow journey down her body as he muffled ‘what was perfect’ against her soft skin. Glancing down at him as he sucked tenderly on her breast, she bit her lip as she wondered if indeed now was the right time. She wanted him to be focused on her and nothing else when she told him; she wanted it to be their own special moment. “Umm…”

Getting lost in the sensations that now coursed through her body, she decided that telling him of her pregnancy could wait; right now they had more important things to focus on. “It can wait.”

Pulling his head up from her chest, he peered up into her eyes. “You’re sure?”

“Yes. Right now, I only want to focus on you; on us.” Smiling up at her, he placed feather light kisses along her stomach as she smiled down at him thinking of their unborn child that nestled within her. She could only predict how he would react when she told him; possibly repeat his actions as he was now. Quickly removing her panties, she took in a deep breath as her body prepared itself for his passion.

Positioning her legs over his shoulders, his hungry lips made their way even further down her body as the anticipation of the small feast he would have between her legs fueled his desire. Stopping just short of her sensitive nerve bundle, her hands in his hair tugging him up caused him to look up at her curiously. “Something wrong?”

Shaking her head, she smiled down at him as she removed her legs from his shoulders. “No. I just need you now…no foreplay. I am more than ready for you.” Hearing the seductive tone in her voice and seeing the little glimmer in her eye, he smiled up at her.

“I know…but I need to do this first.” Not giving her a moment to object, his tongue found its way between her moist folds as she threw her head back and stifled a moan. Spreading her further apart with his fingers, he made sure to take his time and leisurely lick up and down her heated centre, his goal to get her as wet as possible. Grinding her hips against his mouth, she knew it wouldn’t be much longer if he kept this pace.

Holding her hips steady, he concentrated his tongue on her nerve bundle, flicking and swallowing the little button whole as he heard her soft moans increase. Tightening her grip into his dark hair, she let out a deep moan as she came against his mouth. Bucking her hips slowly, she pushed him further into her as she rode out her orgasm. Reaching his hands up to knead her breasts, he made sure he licked all of her juices before he joined them as one.

Kissing his way back up her body, he stared down into her glazed eyes for a moment before kissing her hard. Crying into his mouth, her hand found its way between them as it slipped itself into the small opening of his boxers. Letting her tongue play a brief game of tag with his, she wrapped her small hand around his erect member as her hand began an up and down sweep along his length. Sliding his hand around to her back, he held her body to his as he groaned deeply into her mouth. Pulling his organ through the opening of his boxers, she ran the tip of him up and down her centre as she smiled into his mouth. Sex with this man only got more amazing as time passed; she would always be grateful and yet still in denial that he could have ever made love to another woman besides her.

“Oh baby.” He moaned. Continuing to slide him up and down her, she closed her eyes as his lips once again found her breasts.

“You like that?” She whispered. Cupping her breast within his hand, his lips toyed along her nipple as his deep groan the only form of response she received. Pushing his boxers down his hips as much as she could with his help, she spread her legs even further apart as she prepared to join them as one.

“You ready?” He huskily whispered. Cradling her face tenderly in his strong hand, she silently nodded her head yes as she led him to her entrance. Removing her hand from atop his member, he once again intertwined their fingers and placed him above her head as he pushed all of himself in her. Taking small breaths, she kissed him slowly, mentally relaxing her body to let go of the slight tension.

Beginning to thrust in and out of her, he pulled his lips from hers as he stared down into her eyes. He always loved to look at her when they made love; especially when she was beneath him or on top. He loved to watch her face when he hit a certain spot or moved his hips a certain way. He loved to feel her hips move eagerly against his and the sound of her sweet moans fill his ears, smiling because he knew he was the sole reason of her pleasure. Pushing himself deeper into her and picking up his pace a bit, he didn’t know why but at that moment Roman invaded his mind. Thinking of how the man was so clingy with his wife and her seeking out comfort to him during their time of trouble angered him yet fueled his desire even more.

Letting her hands go, he widened her legs father as he held them down to the mattress. Sliding her hands up his chest, she bit her lips as his thrusts became a bit rough, causing her walls tighten and release. Rocking her hips up and meeting him thrust for thrust, she knew it wouldn’t be much longer before they both came. Moving her hands across his chest and down his muscled arms, she silently beckoned for his body to lower itself back down to hers. Complying with her small request, he let her legs go as his lips descended upon hers. Reaching her hand around to rest itself on his behind, she gave his firm hips a small squeeze before pushing him farther into her, causing them both to cry out. Burying her head within the crevice of his neck, she chanted his name softly as they felt their orgasms rapidly approaching.

Clinging to each other tightly, their hips took on a speed of their own as their passionate release remained just a few seconds away. Arching her head back along the pillow, she cried out his name as she felt her walls contract tightly and her warm liquids wash over him. Feeling her warm canal squeeze him, it was all John could do to not ignore the feeling of orgasm. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she cradled his head against hers as he emptied his seed within her.

Both now lying spent and breathless, they let their bodies rest and come back to its normal state before either attempted to make a move. Placing feather light kisses from her shoulder, to her neck, to her cheek and finally her mouth, he remained still sheathed within her as he kissed her softly.

“I love you so much.” Staring back into his deep blue eyes, she knew he meant it. And more than anything, she also knew that he knew, she needed to hear that.

“I love you so.” Running her hand along the length of his face, she slid her feet along his calf as they continued to whisper loving words to one another and kiss.

“I’m so glad I decided to come tonight.” Pecking her lips once more, he removed himself from her body. Rolling off of her, he pulled his boxers back up over his hips.

“I’m so glad you did too…but why did you? I thought after your non-answer when I asked you earlier at the penthouse it meant you weren’t coming.” Holding the sheet to her chest, she sat up and retrieved the t-shirt from its strewn place towards the edge of the bed. Lying on his back and resting his arm beneath his head, he trailed his finger tips along the spine of her back as he watched her search for her panties.

“I needed you and I know you needed me. Besides its Christmas Eve…” Checking his watch on his wrist, he smiled to himself. “…correction, it’s Christmas. And I wanted to spend my first few hours with the woman that means more to me than anything.” Leaning down to kiss him, she smiled against his lips as she whispered to him that she would be right back before she went into the bathroom.

Nearly half asleep, his lazy eyes opened themselves when he felt her body climb back into the bed and into his arms. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled the sheets to cover their bodies as they both sighed in content.

“Merry Christmas baby.” He whispered as he kissed the top of her head. Resting her head over his heart, she laid her hand across his stomach as she kissed his chest.

“Merry Christmas to you too my love.”

Smiling giddily, she stood back from the table as she admired her little treat. Waking up far earlier than John, she decided to make the most of their Christmas morning before spending the rest of the day with family and friends. Seeing as he would probably sleep in for the latter part of the morning considering his late arrival and their activities last night, after a quick shower, she rushed home to get his gift along with a few items that would make her big surprise to him all the more special. Dealing with two bouts of morning sickness, she finally managed to keep down a glass of apple juice that she had ordered along with the romantic breakfast from room service. She thought for sure he would’ve awakened from the few trips she had made in and out of the door, but gladly he didn’t. Placing a fork alongside his plate, she smiled at the setting seeing it finally complete. A simple feast of French toast, juices, decadent pastries and fruit nearly made her want to vomit just at the sight of it.  Looking over her shoulder towards the small Christmas tree the manager had brought in last night, she smiled sadly at his gift that lay beneath it, wishing it was their tree at home and the abundance of presents for their family and friends that surrounded it.

Tightening the knot on her robe, she quietly walked into the adjoining room and over to the bed. The sight of him curled onto his side as he snored softly warmed her heart; it was a sight that she would always want to wake up to and a sound she never got tired of hearing. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she ran her hand through his hair, taking a moment to cherish this wonderful man that still loved her despite what she had done.

“John…honey.” Shaking his shoulders lightly, she hated waking him from his sleep but she was sure after she told him of her news, there would be much more love making and a long nap afterwards. “Honey wake up…breakfast is here.”

Slowly opening his eyes, John adjusted his gaze on his wife as he grumbled a good morning. Rolling onto his back, he shielded his eyes from the light in the room as he reached his hand out to rest along her thighs. “Why are you up so early?” He asked, his eyes still remaining closed.

“It’s only nine…not too early. I wanted to make the best of our morning together so I got up earlier to run a few errands. Come on, get up before your breakfast gets cold.” Playfully slapping his arm, she rose from the bed as she walked towards the curtains. Peeking at her happy form out of the corner of his eye, he smiled thankful that he did decide to come to her last night. This was the sight he wanted to see on this morning and every morning they spent together from here on out.

“You didn’t make anything did you?” Peeling back the covers, he slowly sat up on the edge of the bed as he ran a hand through his messy hair.

“No silly. We are in a hotel, how could I anyway?”

“Well a certain time at the Green Mountain Lodge does come to my mind. Remember when I thought I was coming down with the flu? You went into the kitchen and convinced the chef that I had a psychological disorder relating to food. Claiming if it wasn’t prepared by you I would get hysterical as well as angry and bomb the place.” Pushing apart the curtains, she laughed at the memory.

“Hey, I was a new wife then. I wanted to go above and beyond to nurse my husband back to health myself…which included me lying to the chef. I vowed to you in sickness and in health and intended to stick by that…still do.” Rising from the bed, he walked to stand behind her as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“That you did baby and you took good care of me. Even if you prepared a fine heated can of soup, I still love you.” Kissing her cheek, he dodged her raised hand as he began to walk towards the bathroom. “Oh, I forgot and left my overnight bag in the car. I’ll be right back.” Reaching for his pants that lay along the sofa, her hand on his stopped his movements.

“I’ll run down and get it. You just get ready quickly before breakfast gets cold.”

“Yes ma’am.” Swatting his firm butt, she smiled at his retreating form. Taking a deep breath, she said a silent prayer, thankful that he was here with her now and hoping that everything would work out just as it should. Walking back towards the bed, she sat along the mattress as she picked up the phone to call all her children and wish them Merry Christmas before going out to John’s car.

*

“Here…last bite.” Cupping her hand beneath the fork, she led the last piece of French toast towards his awaiting mouth. Opening his mouth, he closed his lips around the silver utensil as he savored the sweet bread.

“That was a delicious breakfast baby. Thank you for ordering it.” Winking her eye at him, she picked up the rest of her toast, taking a deep breath before she nibbled on the buttered bread. “So what did you want to tell me last night?” Raising his steaming cup of coffee to his lips, she swallowed nervously as she placed her toast back down.

“Oh…it can wait. Why don’t you open your present first.” Looking at her strangely, he lowered his cup back to the table.

“What present?”

“Under the tree.” Pointing in the direction of the small tree, he glanced behind him, smiling at the sight of the festive bag.

“I thought you had all the gifts at the penthouse.” Wiping his mouth with the cloth, he placed it within his empty plate before rising from the chair and making his way to the tree.

“Well, that was part of my errands. I went home to get yours and also place another one under the tree I had gotten for Belle that I forgot in my car.” Glancing up at her at the mention of their daughter, she knew what he was thinking. He was probably wondering if she got a gift for Brady as well. Avoiding his gaze, she placed her hand on her stomach, trying her best to control her breathing feeling another wave of nausea coming on.

Silently retrieving the three boxes from the bag, he looked at her curiously wondering what was inside each of them, all mysteriously sized: small, medium and large. Watching him open the smallest one, she bit her lip nervously knowing he’d be grateful to hear her little addition to that gift.

“A season pass for the Denver Broncos! Ah…this is great baby.” Waiting until he fully glanced over the ticket, she focused her attention her body as she mentally tried to calm her vomit urges before speaking. “Oh wait…you rented a box for the entire season too?! Sweetheart…this is great…just great.”

Smiling weakly in his direction, she pushed her chair back from the table as she rubbed her stomach in small circles. “Yes I thought you would like it. I also got one for Brady…his is under the tree at home. I figured you would want some company and it would be a nice time for bonding between you two. After all, I won’t be much company after awhile.”

Setting the box to the side, he looked at her strangely before beginning to open the second one. “What do you mean?”

Breathing heavily, she didn’t know how much longer she could suppress the vomit that was quickly demanding release from her stomach. “John…honey open the third one. Please…now!”

“Why? Doc…sweetheart are you alright?” Pushing the wrapping paper and boxes from his lap, he walked towards her, quickly noticing her pale face. “Doc?”

“John…open it please.” She begged him, as she leaned her head back. Knowing very well that she could’ve told him the cause of her distress at the moment, she still wanted the news of their baby to be a surprise; she knew it was a bit ridiculous but the joy she was sure that was going to shower his face was worth the wait. Of all the many stages she’d endured during her two previous pregnancies, she had to say her first trimester was always the worst; her morning sickness it seemed was possibly the most awful that it could ever be. And now considering her age, she wasn’t sure if she could go through all of this again.

“Marlena…what’s wrong? What aren’t you telling me?” He asked her, cupping her face tenderly within his hands.

“Open it!” She gritted out. Quickly walking back to the tree, he tore the paper from the larger box as he hurriedly divested it of its contents. Pulling an envelope and finely wrapped cigar from the box, he looked at both for a minute before looking up to her.

“What is all this?” He asked her as he pulled the cigar from the box. Reading the silver wrapping closely…he didn’t catch the double meaning behind the inscription. ‘Merry Christmas Daddy’ he read silently to himself. “Sweetheart, what does this mean? You know I don’t smoke.” Puzzled, he sniffed the cigar as he thought on the words.

“Open the envelope.” Before he had a second more to question her odd gift, she darted into the bathroom and quickly closed the door.

Wasting no time, he opened the envelope in record time and skimmed the coded papers. Staring back at the results of her pregnancy test in shock, he couldn’t believe what he was reading until the sound of Marlena vomiting what little food she had eaten during breakfast in the bathroom, caught his attention. “You’re pregnant? We’re pregnant?” He questioned out loud in disbelief. Dropping the papers, he made his way quickly to the bathroom door.

Giving him a weak yes from the other side, Marlena held onto the sides of the toilet bowl as she heaved deeply.

“Baby open up the door. Why did you lock it?” Only mustering enough energy to look towards the door and back to the bile floating beneath her in the basin, she prepared herself for another wave as she only heard the sound of his muffled concern on the other side of the door, before once again leaning over the bowl and relieving her stomach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

3.

“Belle and Brady are going to be thrilled when they hear the news.” Sitting along the sofa, she sipped her herbal tea as she watched him gather his clothes and place them within his overnight bag. “A baby…I don’t believe I’m going to be a daddy again.”

“Neither do I.” She mumbled. In all honesty, she had somewhat given up on the thought of them having another child, especially considering their current situation with Brady. She was well beyond her preferred child baring years, but somehow or another fate had other plans for her and her husband. Not intentionally trying to conceive, she viewed this child as a miracle in all that they endured and all that they had yet to endure.

“This is the best Christmas present ever.” Walking back towards the sofa to her, he leaned against the chair, bending down to give her a sweet kiss. “I love you.” He whispered deeply against her lips. Parting her lips to welcome his kiss, she moaned softly into his mouth, getting lost in his rough yet tender kiss. “So, what would you like me to pack up first?” He asked after they broke apart.

“What do you mean?” Eyeing him over the rim of her cup, she had a good inkling as to what he was asking.

“What would you like me to beginning re-packing in your suitcase so that we can get you home.” Sighing heavily, she placed her mug on the small coffee table, the moment she’d been dreading finally here.

“John…I still don’t think it’s wise for me to come home.”

“Oh not this again.” Running his hands through his hair, he leaned against the nearby dresser as he braced himself her argument.

“Yes. Until it’s right with Brady, I don’t think I should come home yet.”

“Marlena it’s Christmas. Belle needs you there, I need you there and yes…Brady needs you there.” Pulling at the edge of her sweater, she walked towards the windows.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about Brady. Look honey, I know you have this fantasy that if I come home, Brady and I have a civilized conversation, then everything will be alright but it won’t John. If we tell him that I’m pregnant, I would say that things will probably only get worse.” Sighing in defeat, he made his way across the room towards her.

“Well, we will never know unless you come home now will we. So how about come home? Let’s spend Christmas as a family hmm?” Playing with the edges of her hair, she closed her eyes as she prepared herself to not give into the hurt look in his eyes she knew was coming after she would make her point clear.

“No…at least not today.” Moving away from her, he sat on the edge of the bed as he held his head within his hand.

“Marlena you need to be home with your family. You are pregnant now. I don’t feel comfortable leaving you all alone here in this hotel pregnant with my child.”

“I’ve been fine so far, I’m a big girl John. Not an invalid.”

“Marlena…” He sighed in frustration.

“Then why don’t you come here at nights and stay with me? Just until the situation with Brady has smoothed over. I’ll come with you to the penthouse during the day to spend some time with Belle and also attempt to work things out with Brady. Then at night we come back here?”

“So this is how it’s going to be? I live with my wife in a hotel while my children live in a parentless home?” Slowly turning to face him, she kept her eyes averted from his solemn gaze as she tried to put into words to help him understand what she was feeling.

“No, it’s not like that John. It’s just a temporary situation. We’ll still be present in their day to day lives.” Rising from the bed, he shook his head in disagreement as he walked towards her.

“Yes it is like that. First you walk out on our family and now you want to make the situation permanent?” Waving her hand towards him, she ignored his suggestion.

“I don’t have to deal with this…not now anyway.” Keeping her tears at bay, she began to walk past him when his firm grip on her arm stopped her.

“I will not leave my children alone at nights Marlena, just because you’re running away.” Dropping her mouth in shock, she pried his fingers from her arm as she placed her hands on her hips.

“Alright, seeing that I’m running away…tell me John, do you think it’s perfectly fine that I live in a home where I’m verbally abused? Obviously it’s alright with you that your son calls me a slut, a bitch and accuses me of having an affair with Roman!”

“Of course it’s not alright dammit.”

“But through all the vile and mean things Brady says to me you do nothing, yet still, you want me to comply with your little request and come back home to that?!”

“Marlena, he’s just a kid. He doesn’t know what he’s saying. None of it is acceptable by any means.” Nearly gasping at his reference to Brady, she shook her head in disbelief.

“Well it seems so to me John. Each time it happens, you just overlook it. You accept it; Brady gets no type of reprimand for his actions. But me on the other hand, I get the full blow of your anger. Oh what is it that you say? Oh yes, “I’m the adult…I should have better judgment.” I’ve got news for you, I won’t tolerate him anymore John. I flat out won’t have it!”

Rubbing the tense spots in his neck, John leaned his head back up towards the ceiling as he let out a tired sigh.

“I’m going to talk to Brady. I’m going to tell him that I won’t-”

“That you won’t what?! That you won’t allow him to call me degrading names in our home? I’ve heard it all before. So what tactic are you going to use now. Suggest to him other options and opportunities where he can feel free to belittle me and our marriage?!”

“Dammit Marlena!” Seeing him come towards her, she began to slowly walk backwards as she waved her finger at him.

“No John! Damn you! Damn you for your unstable son and sleeping with Hope!” She regretted the words as soon as she opened her mouth. Folding his arms across his chest, he narrowed his eyes at her.

“So that’s what this is about? You’re still mad at me for sleeping with Hope.”

“You can’t tell me you honestly believed I have accepted it and moved on already. You made a child with her for Christ sakes John!”

“You know that wasn’t me.”

“Well your penis sure as hell didn’t.” Breathing harshly, she bore her stare into his as she felt a tear trickle itself down her face. It had finally surfaced; the emotions, the thoughts, the silence that she kept locked in for so long had finally found its way out. On some level it felt good for her to finally get her feelings off of her chest but on the other hand she felt utterly torn. It was Christmas, she was pregnant and now fighting with her husband, possibly their worst fight since all of this started.

“Alright…alright. I’ll let that pass. You’ve finally voiced the feelings you’ve kept hidden since I’ve told you. Anything else you want to say?” Turning away from him in disgust, she closed her eyes as she tried to get the mental image she had of him and Hope out of her mind.

“I’m not coming home whether you like it or not. I refuse to live in an environment where I am abused day in and day out. I will remain here until everything works out.”

“Even if I don’t want you too?”

“You don’t have a say so in this John. Until you get some control over your son and teach him some respect, I will no longer live in my own home!”

“So you’re asking me too choose?” Sighing, she grabbed her coat and purse as she looked around for her shoes.

“No, I’m asking you to be a man and do what you need to do if you expect me to come home and our family to be whole again.” Finding her black pumps, she slipped them on quickly as she draped her jacket over her arm. Hastily making her way to the door, she swiped quickly at her tears that came faster and faster upon hearing his dead silence. “Merry Christmas John.” She whispered, giving him one last look before closing the door.

*

“Alrighty sweetheart, I’ll be here when you come…I love you too…see you soon.” Pulling the phone from her ear, she ended the call with her youngest child before placing the phone back in her purse. Leaning her head back against the headrest in her car, she felt the tears once again well up in her eyes as she thought of the fight she had with John earlier at the Inn. It pained her on many levels that Brady had him fully manipulated and truthfully he was utterly caught in the middle. But on the other hand, it was taken beyond the point of a small dislike of a teenage boy towards his stepmother. He had disrespected her in ways no woman should be and the lines had been clearly drawn with John left standing in the middle slowly making his way across to the other side. Sadly it wasn’t hers.

Wiping her tears, she checked her face in the rear view mirror as she put on a presentable face. After practicing a happy smile for a few moments, she finally emerged from the car. Spending the latter part of her Christmas at the Brady Pub wasn’t exactly what she had in mind; but she had no other options than the penthouse. At least wanting to spend some of her Christmas with her children, she asked Belle to meet her here so that she could give her the other gifts she had gotten for her as well as spend some time with Sami and Will.

Balancing the gifts within in her arms, she carefully opened the door to the Brady Pub. Bracing herself for the numerous questions she was sure everyone would have about John, she quickly plastered a bright smile on her face, instantly relieved to see Roman coming her way to help her with the packages.

“My goodness Doc, did you leave anything else in the stores?” Laughing softly, she thanked him as she closed the door.

“Why yes I did.” Dusting the snow off of her coat, she made her way around the room, greeting and wishing everyone a merry Christmas before settling herself in a booth along with Sami.

“Mom, I wasn’t expecting you to come here…not that I’m complaining.” Placing her purse along the table, she smiled at her eldest daughter and grandson as she fluffed her hair, focusing on two of her favorite people.

“I know sweetheart but my plans changed at the last minute. I decided what other way to spend the rest of my Christmas than with my two favorite girls?” Bouncing her son lightly in her lap, Sami looked at her mom strangely before she caught on.

“Oh! Belle’s coming?” Reaching across the table to pinch her grandson’s cheeks, Marlena made a face at the toddler, earning a smile from him.

“Yes, she’s on her way.”

“Oh mom that’s great! Oh wait…that means you and John…” Waving off her concern, she glanced at everyone else as they mingled amongst one another.

“John and I are just fine. We’re taking things slow is all.”

“I know but mom…” Making sure no one else was nearby, Sami leaned across the table as she spoke in a hushed tone. “…it’s Christmas. The least you two could do is put your differences aside and spend the day together.”

Playing with the small stack of napkins on the table, Marlena did her best to not think of John and their argument yet again. It would only cause her to break down, one of which she didn’t need an audience witness. She wanted him with her more than anything, especially after telling him the news of their baby. But she just couldn’t; not until he laid down some rules with Brady.

“Honey I know. But we’re working on it alright? Don’t worry about us. Now why don’t you let me hold my precious grandbaby while you go fix you something to eat. I’m sure he’ll have some fun telling his grandma all that Santa Clause brought him for Christmas.” Smiling knowingly at her mom, Sami decided to drop it for now.

“He probably won’t have much to tell. He’s just learned to say daddy.” Sliding from the booth, Sami gently eased her son into her mother’s arms, taking a moment to admire their small interaction.

“Well I will take his gurgling any day. Isn’t that right sweetheart? Isn’t that right…” Standing Will on his two legs in her lap, she nuzzled her nose with the little boys’ as she momentarily forgot her troubles.

“Alright mom, I’m just going to grab some cake and egg nog. Would you like anything?”

“Ah…a glass of water if you don’t mind.” Raising her grandson in the air and then lowering him brought a smile to her face upon hearing his high pitched laughter.

“Sure thing. Be right back.”

Smiling at Hope and Caroline as they looked her way, she refocused her attention on Will as she could only imagine what they were thinking. Pushing the possibility of their idle gossip out of her mind, she settled the baby within her lap as she thought how ironic that just within a couple of months she was going to have another little one of her own. She hoped by then her baby had a warm, stable and loving home to come too. She didn’t know what she was going to do with herself if she, John and Brady hadn’t worked things out by then.

“May I?” Tearing her focus from Will, she smiled up at her unexpected guest.

“By all means, please. Join us.” Situating Will within her lap so that he could face his grandfather, she peered down at the little boy making sure he was content playing with the buckle on her purse before looking at Roman.

“So, I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” Pushing her bangs of her eyes, she gave him a small smile.

“Yes I know. I truthfully wasn’t expecting to be here either.” Taking a sip of his coffee, Roman nodded his head knowingly.

“I can understand. I guess things haven’t worked out with you and John yet.”

“No.” She stated sadly.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have come here…especially with me here.” Reaching her hand across the table, she grabbed his hand sympathetically.

“No, no no. We are all adults here. John’s childish jealousy is something that I will not tolerate and nothing for you to be concerned about. And I’m very sorry for whatever he said to you last night at the party. It was completely uncalled for.” Placing his mug back on the table, Roman leaned back in the booth as he stared at her with a knowing smile.

“No, I can’t blame the man Marlena. I would be just as protective if you were still my wife too.” Blushing at his comment, she reached for a napkin to wipe Will’s mouth, noticing he had drooled a bit on her purse.

“Yes, well there’s nothing wrong with a little male territorial pride but John has taken it too far. You’re a good man and we’re friends. He has nothing to worry about.” Smiling sympathetically at her, he nodded his head in agreement.

“Well, ah I believe in a few we’re going to sing a few songs then open the gifts. Afterwards I was thinking of going by that cupcake shop by the old house. Remember we used to take the twins there every weekend?” Chuckling, she nodded her head as her mind flooded with memories of Sami and Eric.

“Yes, I remember Eric begging us every Friday night to take him. That’s still open? And on Christmas?! I don’t believe it.”

“Well, they’re offering their one time only seasonal cupcakes so since I’m such a fan I just have to go get a few. Hey, if you’re not busy why don’t you come along? My treat.” Removing her purse from her grandson’s small clutches, she placed it back along the table earning whines from the little boy.

“I think…I just might take you up on that offer.”

“Good…that’s real good.” Smiling at Roman, she let out a small breath finally feeling some joy on this wonderful day and hoping that everything worked out as it should.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

INCOMPLETE