“Hey baby. You’ve officially been out of it for four months. So, when are you going to be like every other man and get scared at the thought of sticking with something for more than a month and bail on this hospital bed huh? Come on. Time to rise and shine lazy boy, the world is waiting for you.”
Marlena laid her coat on the edge of his bed as she snuck under the covers and massaged his feet.
“The world’s moving on honey. I walk around outside, and the world is changing colors again. Everything is growing and it’s a new beginning, and still I feel like I’m standing still and watching everything passing me by so quickly. Like I don’t even have time to react before the moment has passed. I feel like a zombie, you know. I’m doing what I think I’m supposed to do, but I don’t feel anything anymore. Like it’s all trivial and unimportant. The same day that Sami told me she was pregnant, I actually thought about just … ending it. I had the pills in my hand and the vodka bottle was by the couch.”
Marlena closed her eyes and let the tears fall to her cheek.
“So if you ever had an incentive to come back, it’s gotta be to save your wife from killing herself, right? I don’t think I’d ever actually do anything, it just scared me that I even thought about it for more than a second. I have so much to live for, I know I do, but I feel completely alone. People stop coming by, they stop asking if there’s news because they’re so used to hearing ‘no change’. And they act like I’m supposed to deal with it and just move on.”
“Sami felt the baby kick yesterday. First time. She’s glowing John. She’s pregnant and she’s glowing, and you’re missing it. And it’s not fair. Roman left again, and she’s not even angry because she expected it. So she needs her daddy now. She needs you to wake up to share her happiness with her. She told me she misses you. And she says that she’s learned how to make pancakes, so she says if it helps you wake up, she’ll make you the Daddy & Sami special. I’m not sure what that means, but obviously it’s special to you, so if there’s ever a reason to come back, it’s to watch our daughter beat the odds and actually cook an eatable meal, right?”
“I can’t even sleep in our bedroom anymore. Anytime I go in there, I’m reminded of all the passion we…” Marlena quietly stepped down from the bed and sat beside him. She grabbed his hand and kissed his fingers gently as she leaned forward and looked at his peaceful, sleeping face.
“I can’t do this.” She whispered gently.
“I can’t go through life alone like this. If that makes me weak or pathetic then so be it, because I don’t wanna go through it without you. You’re superman. You beat Stefano DiMera, you can beat this.”
—————
The calm sounds of the night surrounded her as she remembered each of the moments glued to the pages of the photo album John had given her a little over a year ago.
“Marlena? Can I come in?”
“Hey, of course.”
“Heard he got a new room.”
“Why have all this money if we can’t use it in times like these?”
“So, he opened his eyes?”
“Yeah. It was just a second, but he opened his eyes, almost spoke… It’s not fair you know… that someone like John is lying here like this while EJ is out there, living his pathetic, criminal, Stefano-wannabe, insane dreams. Life’s cruelty.”
“We’re working on taking EJ down, well, I am now that Roman left. I can’t belive he just took off.”
“It wasen’t really surprising. That’s what he does. Roman escapes into his work when things get tough or people start to expect things of him and he can’t just run into situations to be the hero at the last moment.”
“That’s my brother. Actually, this guy is more my brother than Roman.” Bo walked over to John’s bedside and took his brother’s hand. “Hey bro. You gotta wake up man. This lady here, she’s tough as nails and stubborn as hell, she’s a goddess. But she loves you. Even when you’re a fucking pain in the ass, she loves you. We lucked out, you and me. But now you gotta come back so you can meet your new niece. We just call her Doodlebug, and she hasen’t met her uncle yet so it’s not one-hundred percent complete.”
Looking over at Marlena, he found her smiling through her tears as she caressed a page in the photo book. Bo leaned closer as he whispered. “Bro, if you’ll just do me this one favor, I’ll owe you everything I got okay? It hurts to see her heart breaking every day that you don’t wake up. So if you’d just do me that favor, come back, I’ll owe you big time. And you know you love to collect on favors when you can. Thanks bro.” He drew a deep breath as he stood up and sat down next to Marlena, grabbing her hand.
“I miss him too.” Bo said quietly. Marlena turned slowly as she slowly let go of the strenght she needed to keep herself calm. She sent him a look of gratitude as she grabbed his hand and held on as she let emotions take over and crumbled into his arms.
—————
Marlena sat quietly and observed the people walking around beneath her, as if they were on a different planet where everything moved by so quickly.
“Hot chocolate?” She looked to her side and found Hope Brady holding a large paper cup in front of her.
“I don’t know if I love the hot chocolate more or you right now.”
“I’ll settle for a tie.”
“It’s you, defiently. Thank you.” She gestured to the cup as she held it between her hands.
“Did you tell you anything yet?”
“Nothing. Which means they’re either busy desperately saving his life, or they’re taking the time to be thorough. If this surgery works though, there’s a chance he’ll actually wake up. Within the next 24 hours even.”
“Marlena, I’m sorry I haven’t been here as much as I should…”
“Seriously… Honey, you have a baby to take care of, it’s amazing you’re even walking without stumbling into a pole or something.”
“I almost crashed into a plant on the third floor.”
Marlena giggled as she envisioned the image in her mind. “Speaking of little miss Doodlebug, how is she?”
“Perfect.”
“Of course. How could she be anything else? You should stop by John’s room when you take her for her check up.”
“I will.”
Moments passed and neither of them moved before Marlena suddenly grabbed Hope’s arm as she struggled to breathe. Trying to ignore the commotion downstairs, Hope leaned in and spoke gently. “It’s ok. Just take deep breaths. Breathe. Now, this might not be the best time, but I have a surprise. I couldn’t wrap it, because he was moving around so much.”
“You brought me a puppy?”
“No, I brought you something better than a puppy.” Hope pointed to the stairs leading down to the reception and Marlena turned quickly to look for herself. Walking up the stairs and fighting off Marlena’s hired security guards came a familiar figure as he yelled out. “Dr Evans! I’m not dangerous, just kooky and I’m here to see my best man. Well, woman, but just let me go to her and she will explain everything, I promise.”
“Gene?”
“There’s my best woman! Excuse me sir, if you’d just let go of my arm, your boss would like to run into my arms.” Eugene said as he eyed the guard up and down. He opened his arms as the security guard let go and Marlena walked into them, wrapping her arms around his waist as she squeezed him closer.
“Defiently better than a puppy.” She squeezed him a few times before she released him and look up and at his tired face. “What are you doing here? Hope, how did you even find him?”
“We can talk about that later. Let’s just stand still for a moment.” He wrapped her closer in his arms as she said quietly.
“Gene? Did you miss my hugs?”
“I really did.”
—————
Marlena looked to the couch in the back of the room, and felt blessed as she saw Bo, Hope and Eugene sitting side by side, leaning on each other, all fast asleep under one single blanket.
“I have great friends. We have great friends. I’ll be okay until you come back. Eugene probably has a storage room full of books worth of stories to tell me, Bo and Hope are keeping me hydrated and Alice is making sure I’m fed. She even sent me a care package. Donuts, magazines, a few books, a ton of candy and a bottle of champagne to celebrate with when you wake up.” She held his hand as she stood up and arranged his duvet tighter around him. She was about to sit back down when she felt a tickle against her index finger. Instinctively she looked down, expecting to find, yet again, his eyes closed. Seeing his blue eyes meeting her hazel ones, she felt a pang of desperation before she closed them before looking again.
“It’s not a dream.”
“Hey pretty lady. What’s with the tears?”
“Welcome back.” Marlena cried silent tears of joy as she leaned down and gently pressed her lips to his. “Thank you for coming back to me.”
“I’ll always come back to you.”
Life was, once again, complete.
The Jarlena Journal 