As It Should Be – By April Rayne

They exited the hospital side by side, the automatic doors parting for them. For Marlena , it felt like weeks since she’d breathed clean fresh air, and she paused for a second to just fill her lungs, and enjoy the afternoon sunshine on her face. Instantly on alert, John stood stock still and looked at her, and then seeing that she didn’t look uncomfortable or frightened, he relaxed and waited until she opened her eyes and started walking again.

 

“You OK there Blondie?“ he asked. When she merely nodded, John laid his hand gently at Marlena’s elbow and guided her out of the hospital to where his car sat waiting in the lot. Still feeling more than a little fragile, she stared at his hand, and then up at him, trying to decide exactly what it was that was different about him. He seemed quieter, yet as intense than ever, but in a strange was, it felt as though he was somehow, attuned to her. Like he was really paying attention to her, and genuinely cared about how fragile she was feeling, and even though it gave her a little shiver of enjoyment, she hesitated.

 

John opened the door and helped her in, then trotted around and got behind the wheel. He reached across her chest and pulled the seatbelt into position for her, his face coming close to hers, her smell invading his brain. After spending the last few days in the hospital, he knew she wore no perfume at the moment, which he already knew he liked tremendously, yet it was simply the smell of her skin that seemed to trigger something inside of him that was familiar and soothing. Something that made him want to remain with his body close to hers, as if just enough to assure himself that she was there. With him, really with him. But, he was getting ahead of himself. His experiences during the lockdown with Stefano’s colorful little ‘smoke trick’ still had him more than a bit off balance. But he knew one thing, and that was that Santo had been right, and that other guy- the John he used to be, had been right; Marlena was something he couldn’t risk losing. Of that he felt certain. How to go about ’fixing’ this relationship that Stefano’s brain washings and experiments had destroyed was something he still needed to work

out. But, he thought, one step at a time. He clicked the belt into place and snapped his eyes to hers. “All set?” he asked gently.

 

Marlena smiled tentatively at him. “Yes. Thank you John.” Marlena’s mind was spinning. He was so attentive and so caring. He was almost like…no. Her John was gone. She had to accept that. She knew that, about him, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it,

but she liked it. She couldn’t help but smile.

 

He almost surprised himself when he felt the corners of his mouth pull up into a smile of his own, “Sensational. Then let’s go.”

 

“Wait John, I -” she stammered. “I know I, I said I didn’t want to go back to the townhouse, but, I just can’t imagine walking into the mansion knowing that Stefano could turn up at any time. Can you, I mean… would you mind… taking me to the Salem Inn? Just for a day or two until…well, until I’m up to… going home again.”

 

“Blondie, I’ve told you,“ he said tamping down an automatic flash of impatience, “I will protect you from Stefano. I’ll be damned if I’ll let that bastard get anywhere near my wife.” John had been adamant as Lexie was signing her discharge papers that he would

‘take her home, and take care of her‘, even though he knew she wanted to be as far from the mansion as she could get, yet she wasn’t quite ready to face the townhouse, not with her bedroom filled with memories of the man with the mask…and the needle. John made a mental note to find that man, whoever he was, and take great pleasure in beating him to within an inch of his life for what he did to her. But first things first.

 

“I know you did, but I just… I just…” she twisted her hands uncomfortably in her lap, afraid to rile him.

 

John felt another little pull inside him, realizing it was HIS stubbornness that was making her uncomfortable. “You know what Blondie? It’s not a problem. If the Inn is where you want to go, that’s where we’ll go. OK?” He turned the key in the ignition and the car came quietly to life. John snapped his own seatbelt in place and pulled from the hospital lot, making his way toward Main Street. He could feel her eyes on him, and knew she was surprised that he had been so accommodating. He smirked. “Surprised ya, huh?”

 

Marlena gave a little chuckle herself. “Uh, yes, actually, you did surprise me.” she looked down at her hands again self-consciously. “I’m just not ready to be home alone, and ….”

 

“Your not going anywhere alone, Blondie. I thought I’d made that perfectly clear?” John hung a left and drove 2 more blocks until he pulled to a smooth stop at the red light. He looked over at her, and tried the smile again, since it seemed to make her smile at him;

which he had to admit, made him feel better and better every time she did it. “We’ll get a room at the Inn for a few days and when your feeling stronger, we’ll go back to the townhouse, and go over it with a fine tooth comb. But for now, let’s just take Dr. Carver’s advice and take it easy, alright?”

 

Marlena’s mind might still have been a little on the fuzzy side from the aftereffects of the toxins Stefano had given her, but her brain caught John’s words. Especially the word

’WE’. He’d said ‘we’ . More than once. ‘That’s where we’ll go’, and ’We’ll get a room at the Inn…’. Did he mean ‘we’ as in…WE -the two of them? Together? Something was definitely up with him. “John? Are you all right? You seem a little, um…”

 

Not sure if he was ready to talk about the events that had transpired during the lockdown, even to her, John answered automatically. “Relax Blondie. I’m fine. And so are you. I said I was going to take care of you, and I meant it.” In less than 5 minutes, John turned into the small flower lined driveway to the Salem Inn and eased to a stop under the portico in front of the Valet. He opened his door and stepped out tossing his keys to the boy whose name tag read Albert, and said “Black. Mr. & Mrs. John Black. We’re checking in.” He circled the car himself and opened Marlena’s door and helped her out, not quite understanding why she still looked so confused. “I hope the food here is good. We’ll order up some room service, and once you’ve had a decent meal, I’ll see to it that you get some rest.”

 

As John was about to pull open the big oak door, once again Marlena stopped and stared at him. “Wait.” she said, just the valet slowly eased John’s car away from the front entrance.

 

“What’s the problem Blondie? Is there somewhere else you’d like to eat instead? I’ll have the valet return the car, and we‘ll go wherever you‘d like.”

 

“No, no it’s not that. It’s just, well John, why, why do you keep saying ‘we’?

 

John was genuinely stumped. “Do you see anyone else here but you and I?”

 

Marlena‘s mind was having a difficult time wrapping itself around the fact that John seemed to plan on staying with her. With her. What does that mean? “I mean, you … you said ‘WE’ were checking in. John, I appreciate all you’ve done but, um, well….you don’t have to stay. I’m sure that you… you have somewhere else to be and…”

 

John took a step closer, bringing his body directly in line with hers. His hands were clasped behind his hips, in a pose she’d come to associate with this new John. And he looked at her with eyes that seemed to want to convince her of his steadfastness and took a deep breath before he spoke. “Marlena. What my brother did to you was reprehensible, not to mention cowardly. I am very well aware that his actions were in retribution for what you did to him, but what you did, you did out of, well, self preservation. You were protecting yourself and your family from the – maniac who killed- the man you loved.”

 

His eyes once again connected with hers, and though John was more agreeable than she’d ever known this man to be, she felt as though he really did understand. Something in the tone of his voice was different, and she couldn’t put her finger on it. He

still had that robotic delivery, but there was almost a softness that she’s never heard from him before. Not THIS him anyway. “In any case, I told you that I would protect you, and I plan on doing just that. Now, can we go inside and get a room, please, so that you can get some rest? No offense Blondie, but you look a little tired.”

 

Marlena felt something inside her shift again, as John raised a hand and laid it gently on her shoulder. She remembered John saying something about talking to people who

Shouldn’t have been there during the lockdown, while she was still recovering in her hospital room, but she hadn’t been able to get him to elaborate on that, and it didn’t look like it was going to happen now either. Considering what she experienced – or thought she’d experienced herself , with her sister Sam, well, maybe it was time to get some real info from him. If only she wasn’t  so exhausted. “I, uh yeah. I just don’t want you to feel … obligated to stay John.

 

I know how, how busy you are, and I wouldn’t want to keep you from anything important.”

 

Again, John smiled. He pulled open the door, and with a hand at the small of her back lead her inside. \“Nonsense. Right now, the most important thing, is you.” John walked a few steps ahead of her to the older woman behind the counter. “Good afternoon Madame. I’d like a suite please, for my wife and I.” he said inclining his head indulgently to Marlena as she walked up beside him. “The best you have. ” John reached into his jacket pocket and extracted a credit card from a small black leather billfold and handed it to the smiling woman.

 

“Oh! Of course, sir.” The woman said happily. “ If you‘ll fill this out for me, please? My name is Grace, and I’ll be happy to help you and your wife get settled in. The Presidential is our largest suite, and I‘m sure you‘ll find it extremely comfortable.” She smiled. The woman pulled a small blue card from a silver box and handed it to John to fill out.

 

Marlena watched in stunned silence as John checked them in, and chatted almost amiably with the woman, telling her their luggage would be along later, and that he just wanted his wife to be able to get some much needed rest. “I’ve assured her doctors of

that. I’m confident I can count on you and this establishment to help me do exactly that.” Marlena tried hard not to roll her eyes.

 

“Oh, of course, Mr. Black.” she looked over John’s shoulder as the young valet came through the doors. “Albert? Will you we so kind as to show Mr. & Mrs. Black up to the

Presidential Suite dear?” she said handing him a key. “Mr. Black, Albert will be glad to take you and your lovely wife upstairs, and if there’s anything at all that you need, there’s someone here at the desk 24 hours a day.”

 

“Good to know. We’d like to order something to eat. I assume that won’t be a problem?”

 

“Of course not, sir. You’ll find a Room Service menu right beside the phone.”

 

“Sensational.” he slid his credit card back into his jacket pocket and turned to Marlena. “Ready Blondie?” he asked quietly. Marlena nodded. John took her elbow again, and they followed young Albert into the small elevator, and up to the Inn’s third floor.

 

The Presidential suite occupied the entire east side of the Inn, and when Albert opened the door and ushered them inside, Marlena loved the fact that the spacious room featured a big picture window with a window seat full of pillows, and heavy Damask drapes that were open to the afternoon sun. John tipped the boy who quickly thanked him, smiled shyly at Marlena and backed quietly out of the room closing the door.

 

Marlena walked to the window and set her purse down on the seat. She turned and sat, looking at John again skeptically. “Thank you for this John. I just, I’m not ready to deal withmy…”

 

“Not an issue Blondie. I told you, when you feel up to it, we will go to your townhouse, and I will inspect every inch of it myself.” John walked over to the window seat and stood in front of Marlena. “ I will make 100% certain that everything is…as it should

1. ”

 

Marlena looked up at him and smiled again. “Thank you.“ Even though she was confused at the emotions raging around inside her, she was so pleased that he was there, she couldn’t even find the words to explain how comforted she felt be his presence. “John, you really don’t have to stay if you …” she began.

 

“Enough. I’m not going anywhere, and I wish you’d stop revisiting this issue. I have no where else to be, no one else to be with, and nothing else is more important to do. Are we clear?” he asked simply.

 

“Yes.” she sighed, relieved that he wasn’t planning on going anywhere, yet apprehensive since, well, he wasn’t going anywhere.

 

“Excellent. Now, what would you like to eat? I know the food at the hospital is sub-standard to say the least.” He pivoted to the table that sat between two wing back chairs in a small sitting area, and picked up a leather folder that held the room service menu. Opening the folder he gave the menu a cursory glance and then turned it and handed it to her. “Not exactly four star, but I suppose it will do for the time being- unless you’d like something in particular?”

 

Marlena looked at the menu, seeing nothing more than a blur of words and numbers. Handing it back to John, she said “Oh whatever you’d enjoy too would be fine. Maybe just something light. I don’t think my stomach can handle much more than that.” She looked at the adjoining bedroom to where she assumed the bathroom was, and thought of how soothing a hot shower would feel. “Would you mind if I took a quick shower?

 

Johns brain came to a screeching halt as he thought of her -naked; standing under a steaming spray, and hot soapy water slid down that delectable body of hers. He took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts. “Whatever you’d like Blondie. Let me check

out the bathroom.” he turned with almost military precision, and walked thru the bedroom into the adjoining bath. The bathroom was not overly large but did contain a glass enclosed shower stall and a Jacuzzi tub- just big enough for two, with a small window above it that looked out over the Inn‘s few small wooded acres of ground . There were piles of fluffy towels on each side of the double marble sinks, next to the tub and draped over a heated bar next to the shower. On a wicker shelf in the corner, thick, white terry cloth robes that had been neatly folded and tie with a golden satin ribbon sat waiting with a small card that read “Compliments of the Management”.

 

John deemed everything to be to his expectations and walked back into the bedroom to find Marlena standing with her arms wrapped around her body, staring at the huge king sized bed with it’s romantic canopy with some trepidation. “Hey Blondie, how about if

we get some food in you first, and then you can take that shower and crawl into bed and get some real sleep. Is that agreeable?” he asked. When she only nodded, John walked back into the living room and picked up the leather bound menu. He picked up the phone and in under two minutes had ordered them dinner, demanded the kitchen ‘put a rush on it’ and had moved to the fireplace to start a fire in the hearth. Looking back at her in the doorway , he grinned over his shoulder. “Sixty five degrees outside, and you still look chilly. This should take care of that.”

 

“That’s very thoughtful. Thank .” Marlena walked back into the living room, and settled lightly on the edge of the sofa. “John? Do you think you want to talk about …what you

experienced during the lockdown? I know you said, that you, well, had some unsettling conversations.”

 

“Is this where you try to shrink me again Blondie?”

 

“Not at all,” she said with a sheepish smile. “I know you mentioned having a discussion with someone who wasn’t really there, and, well, I actually had the same type of experience with someone I haven’t seen in years myself.”

 

The fire in the hearth caught with a steady crackle, and John moved around the coffee table to the couch and sat next to her. “A discussion, huh? Well, I’m not sure that what I

experienced was what anyone could call a discussion. Of course I’m not even sure what I experienced was real at all. It was more like having a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Past show up and tell you all the things that have gone wrong in your life, and demanding that you fix things.” John looked a little uncomfortable, as if he might have shared too much, but then remembered his wife WAS a professional psychiatrist. She’s probably heard more outrageous stories than this before. He glanced over at her, and saw her studying him, her ‘shrink’ face firmly in place.

 

“Do you want to explain to me what you experienced?” she asked.

 

“Why don’t you go first? I’m sure you understand whatever the hell that was a lot better than I do anyway.”

 

“Not exactly. But, OK. Let’s see…well, I’m not sure if you know this, but I had a sister. An identical twin sister….”

 

John grinned. “No way! You mean to tell me, there are two of you out there Blondie?” he teased.

 

Marlena’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes as it usually did, and John knew he‘d messed up. “No John. Well, at least not anymore. ”

 

“I said something wrong didn’t I? I’m sorry.”

 

“No! No, you didn’t say anything wrong. There’s no way you could have known. My sister, Sam is dead. She was murdered years ago.”

 

John grimaced. “Sorry. I didn‘t know, I mean, I ….didn’t remember that.”

 

“It’s alright, I know you didn’t. Anyway, I thought that, well, that she was there. I saw her, I heard her talking to me. I guess I, must have fallen asleep and dreamed it, but it was so real. It was so very real.”

 

Marlena shook her head. “She made me see that what I’d done to Stefano, was more about revenge for all the hell he’s put us through for so many years, than it was for, well, just for what happened to you. I guess it was just that, having you back; yet you having

no memory at all of us; or our family or our life together, just pushed me over the edge.”

 

“I told you before Blondie, you have to stop blaming yourself for that.“ He hated that these guilty feelings were tearing her up inside. He certainly had no problems with

getting even with his bastard of a brother, and he certainly did admire her for what she’d done, but he wished that she still had a little more of that fire in her. “Well now, I didn’t know your sister, but I’m gonna guess that even she could understand your need for reven- no, not revenge. Justice; when it came to Stefano, am I right?”

 

Marlena smiled another of those small smiles that gave John hope. “Actually , she did. After I told her about you.”

 

“Me?”

 

“Yeah.” Marlena studied her hands again for a minute. “ I told her about you, and how much I love you, and hard we have fought for so long to be together, and build our family together, that to have it all ripped away….well, she understood. But she said that maybe the paralysis, was my punishment. She said that I had to pay for what I’d done.”

 

Before he could breath, he saw her eyes flood with tears that quickly spilled over her cheeks, and his pulse began to hammer in his chest. He hated that this was eating at her, and he especially hated seeing her cry. She looked like a lost little kid. He thought that maybe if she knew that he’d gone through almost the same thing, she wouldn’t feel so alone and isolated. “That’s kind of the same thing that happened to me. I saw, or I thought I saw, my father.”

 

Marlena’s big hazel eyes lifted to his, her tears sparkling on her cheeks. “Your father? Santo?”

 

“I suppose. Actually, he looked a lot like my nephew Elvis, but I suppose that’s not the point. He said that… “ John sighed, looking resigned.

 

“What? What did he say John? ”

 

John took another deep breath, and once again was pleased as the smell of her comforted him. “He said quite a bit actually, but mostly, he said that I was a fool for not recognizing the best thing in my life.”

 

“What‘s that?” she asked carefully.

 

John lifted his index finger gently to her cheek and touched a single tear. “You.” He watched the surprise cross her face and then he felt another tear wet his finger. “Aw, come on Blondie. I didn’t tell you that to make you cry more. If it helps, Santo wasn‘t the only person I saw. That must count for something in the “my dream is crazier than yours” contest, huh? ” he teased, trying to make her smile.

 

“Who else John. Who else did you ‘see’?” she sniffed.

 

John took a deep breath and dropped his hand into her lap on top of her own. “Me. Your ‘me’. I mean, the old version of me. Aw hell, I don’t know what I mean.” he said, frustrated. “And before you ask, I told me the same thing. That you were the only one who could ‘save’ me, and that I was being an ass for not recognizing that.”

 

“John, I ….” He stood and walked around the coffee table, and immediately she missed his closeness.

 

“No, don’t try to ‘shrink’ it Blondie, because you know what? They’re right. Both of them. I know that you want the man you love, I know that you want the man I used to be. I know that….and I know that I’ll probably never be him again.” he added almost so sadly, that Marlena felt her heart ache for him. “ But maybe… well, maybe together we can , oh hell, I don’t know, teach me how to be a decent guy again?”

 

Marlena was sure her shock must have shown on her face. “Oh John…” he retraced his steps and sat beside her again.

 

“Look Blondie, I know that it’s asking a lot, and I know you were counting on the disc to, I don’t know, re-boot my brain, but ….do you think you can help me? You said you helped me once before.”

 

“John, I would do anything to help you, I’ve told you that. But you made it perfectly clear that your happy being who you are. Are you sure you want to – change?”

 

“See, it’s like this Blondie, I….” John paused as the knock on the door sounded. “Must be dinner, I told them to put a rush on it.” He crossed the room to open the door as young  Albert pushed an old fashioned two tiered tea cart over the threshold. The cart was loaded with covered dishes. The bottom shelf held, among other things, what appeared to be a bottle of wine chilling in an ice bucket, several bottles of sparkling water and spring water, and even a few soft drinks.

 

“Goodness John, what on Earth did you order?” Marlena asked.

 

“Uh, a little of everything actually. I wasn‘t sure what you‘d be in the mood for.” He tipped the young man with a precise movement and ushered him out the door, before

returning to the cart to uncover the dishes. Marlena watched in fascination as John uncovered one dish after another, everything from a big salad to a fluffy omelet to steaks and baked potatoes, a hot steaming tureen of soup, even a platter of fresh fruits and cheese. Marlena walked around to stand beside him, the food quickly becoming unimportant.

 

“John, let’s get back to our conversation. You said that…”

 

John turned and locked his eyes on hers once again. “No more. Not now anyway. We are going to work all of this out. But not now.”

 

“John, I…” Marlena gasped as John’s hands gripped her upper arms and automatically pulled her against him.

 

“Not now.” he said in a commanding, yet gentle voice she hadn’t heard ….in months. “For now, I want you to relax. And recover.” His hands gentled on her arms, but still kept her body against his own, unable to push her away. “Just, let me take care of you.” He

rubbed her arms slowly trying to show her he could be gentle. And the funny thing was, all of a sudden, he wanted to be gentle. With her. “I won’t hurt you.” he whispered.

 

Marlena’s pulse began to pound at the proximity of his body against hers. She lifted her hands to cup his elbows, holding his arms to her, letting him know that she understood, and appreciated his words. “I know that. I’ve always known that John.”

 

He looked down at those watery hazel eyes again, and wished for the millionth time, that something would ring a bell. Something would click into place about the time BEFORE he woke up on a cold sterile table in Stefano’s lab. He wanted desperately to

remember something of the man he used to be. And more than anything right now,

he wanted to remember her. “You can trust me.”

 

Marlena watched as John’s face changed again as they settled into their embrace, John’s thighs automatically widening to cradle Marlena, as her body molded itself to him. She knew the events of the past few days had taken a toll on her body, but the

light, weightless feeling in her head wasn’t the after-effects of the drugs. It was as pleasantly familiar to her as her own reflection. This was a man she knew, a flesh and blood man, not an experiment, not a soldier. Maybe not HER man, not yet, but she almost felt like her John was hiding inside. The robot, the “Pawn” was being overtaken, slowly and with great care by a gentler, calmer John. Marlena slid her arms around his waist and hugged him to her, never taking her eyes off his, their faces only inches apart. “ I do trust you. I always have John. And I always will.”

 

 

Chapter 2

 

John liked hearing her say she trusted him. It was a hell of a rush. So was the fact that he could feel every inch of her body against his, and he liked it. A lot. He inhaled the

intoxicating scent of her again, letting it fill his nostrils. He wanted more, though…. he needed more. He hooked one arm around her waist and the other slid up to the nape of her neck, under all that soft blonde hair where her skin was so warm and soft his fingers couldn’t help but stroke. He pulled her head against his own, until her chin rested against his shoulder, and she breathed a contented sigh of relief and contentment. That little sound was like a scream in his head. His mind was telling him she needed patience, care and attention, even though his body was hell bent on simply possessing her.

 

His mind flashed as it had a million times since it happened, to the morning they’d made love in that damn tent when the plane went down. He hadn’t been much of a gentleman, but at the time, even she didn’t seem to mind. Holding a warm, willing woman had merely been a plus. But kissing her lips, and enjoying the taste of her skin, knowing

that this beautiful woman was actually HIS woman, was something that had instantly burned itself into his brain. How many women would have been as compliant as Blondie? Bitter cold, hurt and in pain, lying on the hard frozen ground and crowded into a tiny nylon shelter, and she’d never flinched. She’d taken care of the other survivors, made sure Isabella and little Claire were safely sheltered, and bandaged everyone else’s wounds before she even thought to take care of her own . He remembered how she almost grudgingly asked him to help her realign her dislocated shoulder, and that was only because she’d been unable to do it herself. She was a hell of a woman, this wife of his. Hmm. Wife. Why was that word starting to mean something to him? He held her head cupped in his hand, and felt…right, for the first time in a long time.

 

Marlena felt happier at that moment than she had in almost a year. John’s arm were wrapped around her, protectively. Purposely. But was it a dream? Was this another cruel trick of Stefano’s? She was terrified that any second now she was going to open her eyes and find herself lying back in that hospital bed, hooked up to beeping monitors

and miles of plastic tubes. But when she turned her face into his neck and gently pressed her lips to his skin, she knew it wasn’t a dream. He was warm and he was real, and she smiled when she felt his body react immediately to the contact. His arms tightened around her and held her even closer. “Oh, John.”

 

John couldn’t have stopped the hard-on if his life depended on it, and he knew there was no way she could miss it pressing against her thigh. He was afraid she’d be insulted and pull away from him, and to be honest, he didn’t know how he’d handle that, because, with the emotions that were raging inside him right now, if she walked away

from him, he might just sink to his knees and cry like a baby. But once again, she surprised him. She didn’t pull away. If anything, she tried to get closer.

 

She snuggled back against his shoulder and tightened her arms around his waist, and once again, he felt her lips on his neck as she whispered his name, in that soft, breathy little voice of hers that was bound to drive him insane. He had to maintain some control which was a lot easier said than done. If he scared her now- when he knew she was still so vulnerable, he’d want to kick his own ass from now until the end of time. He had to find a way to make her trust him. Her body rubbed slowly against him, almost like some sexy, subtle, slow motion dance, and again, his body reacted and his cock twitched against her.

 

His hand grabbed a handful of silky hair and tilted her head gently back so he could look into her eyes. “You trying to drive me crazy, Blondie?” he said with half a grin. “Cause if

you are, I’m sure you can tell, your doing a mighty fine job.” His heart; which he apparently did have, did a little flip when he saw that once again, the smile worked.

 

She smiled up at him. “That works both ways you know. I can’t tell you how good it feels to be in your arms. The last few days have just been, so… scary and confusing for me.”

 

“I told you,” he said his voice deep and serious once more. “…that I wouldn’t let anything or anyone hurt you, and I meant it. I know I haven’t given you many reasons to trust me, but…”

 

“But I do trust you John.” she said gently.

 

“No. You trust your John. Not me, not yet. But it’s OK, you will.” His hand slid from her hair to cup her cheek, his thumb grazing over the cute little dip in her chin. “It’s gonna be different Blondie. You’ll see.”

 

Marlena thought her heart would stop when John leaned down to kiss her, because in that instant, she realized that; already, he was right. It WAS different. It was slow and

careful, with meaning and purpose. His mouth gently tasted her lips, moving slowly to caress her again and again. Tiny, gentle, mind numbing kisses. Over and over he slanted his mouth across hers, kissing her lips at every possible angle, until she was practically panting. She looked up at him through a haze of desire.

 

His eyes had turned a blue so deep and dark, it was a struggle to look away from them, and yet, he had her mind spinning in a thousand directions as his mouth worked it’s magic. Her lips were shiny and glistening from his mouth and just when she thought she might cry if he didn’t kiss her the way she needed, he sealed his mouth over hers, his tongue sliding deep into the sweet warmth of her mouth.

 

Oh. Dear. God. Marlena’s head spun, and her heart felt like it was about to jump from her chest. John took total control of the kiss, but not quite the way he had before. The few kisses they had shard in recent months were very nice, but ‘nice’ wasn’t what she’d come to expect from John. John Black – her John Black, was an intensely passionate and powerful lover, that was a given, but he was also generous and caring to a fault, capable of such tenderness, such gentleness, Marlena had often felt undeserving. This man, Stefano’s altered version of John, simply had no idea of what they could be – or how they could be, together.

 

His mouth moved on hers with the precise and exacting movement she’d come to know him for…and yet, she felt that even he was as surprised by the difference in this kiss as she was. He was insistent and he was demanding, but she could tell he was rattled by the power they were generating between them. He didn’t know what it was like for them. Not yet. His arms tightened around her, with the hand at her waist dropping to cup her ass, and pull her harder against his erection, as his tongue slid sensuously around hers.

 

Marlena moaned deep in her throat at the burst of fire that surged through her body, and her hands clawed at his back feeling the tremors that shook his powerful muscles. Not only that, but she could feel the heat of his cock through her clothing AND his, and it

made her gasp for air. John slid his mouth slowly across her cheek to the tender patch of skin just below her ear -and sucked, and again, Marlena moaned. That little sound shot straight to his groin. He smiled against her throat, then slowly raised hooded eyes to hers as he cupped her cheek and held her forehead to his own. He could feel the warmth of her breath on his lips, and could still taste her sweetness on his tongue. “Do you…have any idea… how… damn…. sexy that is Blondie?” Enjoying the look of pure lust on her face, he bent down to the same warm, wet spot, and repeated his actions. “Do it again.” He growled.

 

Marlena couldn’t have stopped the sounds that came out of her throat if someone held a gun to her head. John enjoyed this new found power over her, as he maneuvered his way around the sweet column of her throat to the opposite ear, and treated it to the same delicious torture, even stopping along the way to suck her earlobe. This is what it was supposed to feel like.

 

So, Marlena’s neck was hyper-sensitive when it came to sex- no, not sex…love, he thought. He’d have to make a mental note of that and be sure to pay it special attention. And thank God too, because he enjoyed it almost as much as she certainly seemed to.

 

There was something…almost powerful about her skin to him. The way it felt like

expensive silk against his fingertips, the way the flavor of it on his tongue obliterated all other thoughts from his head, not to mention this uncontrollable urge he had to get close enough to her -to simply inhale.

 

Marlena’s entire body was throbbing and if John hadn’t been holding her as tightly as he was, she was certain she would have slid to the floor. She slid her hands under his jacket searching for the heat of his skin. She began tugging his shirt and t-shirt from the waist band of his slacks until the dull pounding in her head  forced her eyes to open and focus on the room again, as John ’s mouth kissed it’s way across her collarbone. “John…oh my…”. The pounding came again, and Marlena realized the noise wasn’t in her head after all, but outside – in the hallway. Someone was knocking on the door. Damn. “John? John…the door….someone’s… at the …door.”

 

John lifted his head to look at her, and she saw the briefest flash of impatience, before it was gone. “What the hell?“ he said, his head snapping in the direction of the door.

 

The knock sounded again, followed by the timid voice of young Albert. “It’s um, Room Service?”

 

John’s grip around her loosened, and Marlena immediately felt the loss of not having him so close to her. “I’ll get it.” he said as gently as he could. Her lips were pink and swollen, and her eyes were the most amazing shade of blue green, and were almost pulsing with fire. “Stay exactly as you are.” He took a step back and disentangled himself from her.

 

Thankfully, he was still wearing his suit jacket, otherwise covering his erection would have been tricky. Buttoning the jacket, he stalked to the door and wrenched it open in a

single swift movement. Poor Albert was so startled, he bobbled the silver tray he held, coming dangerously close to tossing the entire thing at John’s feet. “What- is it?” John all but barked.

 

The boy blushed an unflattering shade of fuchsia, and tried to extend the tray he held to John. “I’m, uh, sorry Mr. Black. The, uh, kitchen….um, forgot to put this… on the, uh, cart. It’s uh, your dessert, sir. I’m uh, real sorry about… disturbing you and uh, Mrs. Black. I‘m really ….”

 

Marlena could see the tension in John’s neck, and knew he was royally pissed at being interrupted, but her heart just about broke for the young man. She circled the coffee table quickly and walked up behind John, laying a hand on his shoulder. “Oh, Albert,

thank you so much. We appreciate you bringing this up for us. Don’t we John?” she asked with a gentle squeeze.

 

John turned his head slightly and eyed his wife from the corner of his eye. He took a calming breath, leveled his voice and spoke slowly. “Of course we do. Would you mind

putting it on the coffee table?” John said quietly as he stepped aside to allow the boy to pass.

 

Albert looked like he’d just been saved from a pack of hungry wolves, as he smiled nervously and double-stepped across the room to set down the tray. “Thank you, sir. Grace was pretty piss- er, I mean upset that this got left in the kitchen.” He set the tray down and looked back at John and Marlena who still stood near the door. Marlena smiled at him, trying to set him at ease, but John’s face bore no such forgiveness. Marlena didn’t think it was possible for the boy to blush a deeper shade, but sure enough, his face reddened again. “I’m, uh really sorry, Mr. Black.” He looked down at his shoes and headed back to the door – eager to make his escape.

 

“John.” Behind him, Marlena gave his shoulder another little nudge as Albert approached, and pressed against his back so she could whisper in his ear. “Your scaring him to death! Be nice.” Albert was just about to brush past them, when John’s voice stopped him cold.

 

“Albert.” John said commandingly. “Thank you for …bringing dessert.” he said, his voice in that automatic monotone once again. He looked over his shoulder at Marlena, as

though seeking her approval. She smiled at him and rubbed his back in a small circle. She turned to Albert.

 

“We really appreciate it. Even with all the wonderful food you’ve brought us, it just wouldn’t be the same without dessert! It‘s my favorite part of any meal!” she said in that

cheerful and melodic way she had, that always seemed to put people at ease. John watched, fascinated, as the boy grinned from ear to ear, his entire demeanor changing in the blink of an eye.

 

“Oh yes, Ma’am! Mine too! There’s some great mousse there and a chocolate soufflé and these awesome little fruit tarts that Suzanne makes…she bakes all the pastries here. And…” he paused when John stance shifted from one foot to the other, and thought it was time to end the conversation. “ Um, sorry. I uh, just wanted to bring it up,

and Um. I’m real sorry to have interrupted you, sir. Ma’am.”

 

John had to give the kid credit. Marlena was right, the boy was scared as hell, but he was trying hard. He extended his hand to the boy. “Good job. And thank you- again.” John said. Albert accepted and shook John’s hand with a relieved smile, while John reached with his other hand into his pants pocket for some cash. He peeled off a $20.00

bill and pressed it into the boys palm. “Would you please ask…” his brain searched for the name again… aha , ”Grace, to hold our calls, until further notice? We’d like not to be disturbed.”

 

The boy perked, pleased that John wasn’t angry and pleased to have a task he felt certain he could accomplish. “Oh, yes sir! Absolutely, I can do that! I’ll tell Grace not to let anyone bother you!” he pumped John’s hand happily.

 

John had to smile. That kid had promise. “Excellent.” Behind him, Marlena ducked her head and smiled at the scene before her. John was trying. He was truly trying. And with a little urging here and there, he was succeeding. She rested her hands on his shoulder

blades as Albert make his happy exit, and stepped back as John closed the door, and flipped the lock. He turned and looked at her. “I didn’t mean to scare him, you know.”

 

Marlena laughed lightly. “I know you didn’t. You just seem to have a way of, of-” she paused.

 

“Scaring people?” John said gloomily, shoving his hands into the pockets of his slacks.

 

“I was going to say ‘intimidating‘ people.” she smiled at him, and laid a hand on his arm.

 

“Well, I guess that’s another…issue we’ll have do address, won’t we Doctor?” he said easily. Over her shoulder he eyed the cart laden with food and the coffee table that held the covered tray of desserts Albert had promised, and remembered Marlena still hadn’t eaten anything all day. Tamping down his desire once again, he tried to focus on her.

 

 

“Well, let’s not let all this go to waste. You still need to get some food in you. I have every intention of keeping my word to Dr. Carver. ” He laid a hand on her back and guided her back toward to sofa, and sat her down. “What do you think you’d like to start with?”

 

John lifted the lid on the tureen of soup, and sniffed appreciatively at the fragrant steam. “I believe the menu said this was a hearty ’Country’ Vegetable soup. Will that be alright?”

 

Marlena nodded, surprised when her stomach gave a delicate growl of agreement. “That actually sounds pretty wonderful. I’m beginning to realize I’m hungrier than I thought I was.“ She settled back against a big, sturdy pillow, as John ladled some soup into a delicate china bowl and set it in front of her. She placed a pretty linen napkin across her knees, and waited.

 

John looked at her. “Problem?’

 

“No. Just waiting for you to join me.” she said, looking up at him with a gentle smile.

 

“Oh. I was, uh… going to …” he hesitated. He’d planned on standing by the window and reciting baseball stats in his head to try to turn his attention to something other than THAT kiss, not to mention her little touches and breathy little laughs. How the hell, he wondered, was he was going to sit comfortably beside her without offending her, since his erection had not dissipated. Not one bit.

 

“Join me? Please?” she asked, patting the cushion beside her.

 

John seemed to assess the situation. Hell, she was his wife after all, wasn‘t she? She’d certainly seen this and more. He unbuttoned his jacket and tried to adjust himself as

discreetly as he possibly could, then sat beside her and served up a bowl of soup for himself. From the corner of his eye he could see Marlena’s head dip, as she gave a silent chuckle. Taking a cue from her, he laid a napkin across his knee and looked over at her.

 

“What is it now?” he said with more force than necessary.

 

“I just, um, I’m sorry John.” she smiled gently, and glanced quickly but longingly at his lap.

 

“Why’s that?” he asked innocently.

 

“For making you… uncomfortable.” she laid a hand on his knee and felt his leg tighten

immediately.

 

John caught her eyes once again, and held them. “Blondie, being strapped to a steel exam table in a frigid laboratory is uncomfortable. This, “ he said with a subtle glance at his lap, “ is nothing.”

 

Marlena smiled again, almost sadly. “That is one thing that never seems to change between us. That physical attraction. That‘s ALWAYS been there. ”

 

“So I’ve noticed.” John said with a smirk, then decided a change in topic was in order. “So, let’s eat before the soup gets cold?” For the next half hour or so, they both steered the conversation to the safest and most harmless topics. Nothing of a truly personal nature was discussed. John systematically tasted – and insisted that SHE taste – at least one bite of everything they’d ordered. Before they realized it, the food was practically gone, and John- reminding her that she shouldn’t mix alcohol with any of Stefano’s lingering foreign toxins, had poured the rest of the bottle of chilled sparkling cider into their glasses.

 

Marlena and John both leaned contentedly back against the sofa cushions, full and happy.

 

“There’s more steak there, you know. You should eat more protein, Blondie. You‘ll re-build your strength faster that way. ” John said with a serious nod of his head.

 

Marlena groaned. “Oh, I don’t think I could eat another bite John. I’m stuffed! Everything was just –so delicious.” Marlena rested her head along the back of the couch. John’s eyes grazed appreciatively over the smooth column of her neck, and his brain automatically remembered how soft her skin was…and how sweet. He blinked to clear his thoughts, and laid his head back as well.

 

“Well, I still wish you’d eat more. And we never even touched that.” John said pointing drowsily to the tray young Albert had brought with all the desserts. Even he was too full to actually get up and move. “Eh. I guess we can save it for later. “ he sighed throwing a hand over his stomach.

 

They were quiet for a minute until Marlena tilted her head and studied his profile. “Do you think you want to talk some more?”

 

John mimicked her movement and simply turned his head to look at her. “Actually I think I’d rather let my lunch settle first without a raging case of indigestion, how bout you?”

 

Marlena laughed out loud. “You do have a point!” she said.

 

John looked at her again, noticing how her eyes got this cute little sparkle when she laughed. And damn if it didn’t make him feel good to hear it . “It’s good to hear you laugh again Blondie. It’s been a while.”

 

Touched, she smiled at him. “Hmm. Hasn’t been much to laugh about lately has there?”

 

“No, I suppose not.” John propped his feet up on the coffee table and crossed his ankles. “But that’s going to change. Now. Today. You’re safe here. Safe from Stefano and…. Anything else you’d rather not face.“ When she only smiled at him, he felt calmer and wanted to make her understand that she could relax and unwind, and take whatever time she needed to recover from her ordeal. Then he reached behind Marlena to stretch his arm behind her across the back of the sofa. “I can promise you, nothing will hurt you. Not while I’m here.”

 

Without thinking about it, Marlena slid her bottom across the small space between them, angled her shoulder beneath his arm, and leaned in to rest her head against John’s

shoulder, the way she had a million times before. “I know you’ll protect me. Even though I know you probably don’t remember all the times you‘ve done it before. I’m just…” she paused and John felt her stiffen slightly. He could tell she’d just realized what she’d done.

 

But before she could lift her head and move away, he brought his hand down to wrap around her shoulder and held her close. “It’s OK. It’s….OK.” He took a deep breath, and exhaled, settling even more comfortably into the cushions, and into the embrace. “ I

kinda like this. It‘s nice not having you all tense and edgy. ”

 

Marlena closed her eyes and let herself just enjoy the moment. In his arms. Where she belonged. She and John were just starting to enjoy the simple pleasure of sitting and relaxing , when reality intruded. “John? Can I ask you a question?” The one thought that

niggled at the back of her brain all the time she‘d lain unable to move, the one thing that Stefano’s taunting had brought into focus, had to be asked.

 

“Sure. Ask.” he said, even though even he knew the spell had been broken and now he was almost afraid to hear what was running through her head.

 

“I know it’s not something you’ll want to discuss, but… it’s about Ava.” even saying her name annoyed Marlena.

 

John took another deep breath, and fought the urge to ask her again, just how the hell many times was she going to bring up Ava, but he clamped down on his impatience , and said “ What about her?”

 

Marlena tried to lift herself up, but John’s grip on her shoulder left no question that he wanted her to stay right where she was. “I saw the note… in the foyer the day she left?

She…..she said she loved you.”

 

“Yea. I read that. What’s your question?”

 

This time Marlena did rise, just a bit under John’s powerful grip, to turn her head and look at him. “John. How do YOU feel? About her? Do you…………do you ….” Marlena could barely get the words out, “do you love her too?”

 

John looked at her and thought about all the fancy bullshit he could tell her to make her drop this ridiculous line of questions. She was still vulnerable after all, and if he played it right, he could at least buy himself some more time without getting into another argument. But then remembered he’d made a decision to himself to change things, and that included making things right with her.

 

“Blondie, we’ve been thru this. Thanks to my big brother’s machinations, I don’t know what love is. I ‘explored’ things with Ava because that’s what you advised me to do, and

well, because, she was interested.” he said honestly.

 

“Interested? John I think we both know that Ava was more than interested in you. “  Marlena said, trying to keep the jealousy and pain out of her voice. And since it was

on her own advice that John had, well ‘explored’ , she really didn’t have much room for debate. “She was just waiting for you to give her the green light before she moved in for the kill.”

 

“’Moved in for the kill?’ I think that’s reaching a little Blondie, don’t you?” he asked, genuinely curious.

 

“Reaching? Are you saying Ava didn’t pursue you John?” Marlena questioned, feeling her irritation rise.

 

John knew she had, but only after he’d allowed his interest to be more apparent and let it be known that his wife had urged him to go ‘investigate’. And yet, something had still

been off. He somehow knew from the start that Blondie giving him permission to see other women was gonna come back to bite him on the ass. “Look, it was, what it was. You were the one who advised me to…” John began.

 

Marlena’s temper flared. She snapped to her feet and stared down at him, her eyes blazing. “YES JOHN, I know I advised you to see Ava, but I was hoping that…”

 

John jack-knifed to a standing position and faced her. “What Blondie? What were you hoping?”

 

“I was hoping, that as my husband, you’d come to your senses before you fell into bed with her, but I guess that was asking too much, wasn’t it? Maybe she was she just… too convincing at throwing herself at you? Was that it? Or was it something else? Was she too young …. too pretty? Too…” she whirled away from him, but didn’t get far. Not far at all.

 

John grabbed her arm and yanked her back to face him, and with his face only a breath away from hers he said in a voice that sounded ominous even to his own ears… “Too handy. That’s what she was. That’s ALL she was. Handy. Convenient. ”

 

Marlena yanked her arm from his hand and stomped around the table. “Convenient? Really? So, what? Anyone would have done? Any woman would have …served your purpose?” she railed at him.

 

Her hazel eyes snapped with fire, and John could feel an almost uncontrollable need to grab her and shake her until he could make her understand. But he wasn’t sure how. He knew he’d probably mess up again, but his pulse was pounding and he stalked around

the other side of the table until they were once again face to face. “Ava doesn’t matter to me….”

 

“Doesn’t matter to….” Marlena paused as John grabbed her and brought his face so close to hers their noses almost touched.

 

“Enough! I’m done with these conversations about Ava. Done, do you understand?“

 

“John we have to…“

 

“No we don’t ‘have to’ do anything. Now. Shut up, and listen to me, because I am only going to say this once.”

 

Pleased when she didn’t respond with any more than a shocked breath, he said “The woman I wanted, the ONLY woman I wanted, told me to go elsewhere. Do you have any idea how that felt? So, as much as it infuriated me, I did.” He cut off her attempt at speaking by continuing in a tone that left no room for Marlena to work in a response. “ Did I want someone else? Hell, NO! I wanted you. I wanted my wife. But I was so, so, God damn pissed at you! You… left me! You moved out of the mansion. You told me to ‘explore’ and perhaps it was just out of spite, but I did. And you know what? It meant

nothing. It meant nothing then, it means nothing now. She means nothing to me. And do you want to know why? Because of YOU. “

 

Marlena was stunned. Her face was a mask of confusion. She knew his past- their past, was a void to him, a black hole of nothing. No memories, no history, no nothing, so he had no idea of how solid they were or how no one had ever legitimately come between them before. And now he was saying that, even though he didn’t know, and couldn’t understand WHY, she was still the only one he wanted.

 

“She was here and she was handy, and whether it was right or wrong it doesn’t make a fucking bit of difference anymore because she’s history, do you hear me? She’s gone. It’s done and it’s over, and I don’t want to rehash this again, because none of it meant a damn thing. You. You’re the one who matters to me. Do you hear me?“

 

 

Chapter 3

 

His hands still held her upper arms immobile as he spoke, the deep husky bass of his voice kept her eyes locked on his so there was no misunderstanding. “She was here and she was handy, and whether it was right or wrong it doesn’t make a fucking bit of difference anymore because she’s history, do you hear me? “ Even with the tight reign he had on his temper, his hands still shook her fragile body, but he HAD to make her

understand. “She’s gone. Gone! It’s done and it’s over, and I don’t want to rehash this again, because none of it meant a damn thing. “ His grip eased a bit, but still he held her flush against him. “ You. You’re the one who matters to me. Do you hear me?“

 

The logical part of her brain knew that on some level she should be insulted that John could speak so carelessly, and degrade a woman in that way as to say she was merely ‘convenient’, but…in truth, what woman in her right mind would think so defensively about a rival for her man’s affections? Even her professional training couldn’t outweigh the sheer delight she felt in hearing him declare that she had been the woman he’d desired; truly desired- not Ava.

 

He gave her another little shake to get her attention. “Do… you… hear…. me?” he repeated with deliberate slowness.

 

He waited until she nodded blankly, still flustered by his words. “Yes.” she mumbled.

 

“Excellent. Now. Maybe we can get back to where we left off earlier?”

 

“Where…. we… left off?” Marlena answered in a daze.

 

“We were right about …here.” he said an instant before his mouth covered hers again in a soul shattering kiss. There was no ease now, just need. Raw and simple. Marlena’s hands clawed at his back and held onto him for dear life. Not that John had any intention of letting her go. Hell, no. Not again.

 

Their mouths latched on to one another’s. The kisses becoming longer and deeper, as they moved into an embrace that was automatic. John could feel her nipples pebble against his chest, and his hard-on was back and standing at full attention against her thigh. His hands cruised over every inch he could reach, as if he just couldn’t touch her enough. John’s hands skimmed down her sides and over her hips, and then reach to around and palmed her ass. Aaaah, and his wife certainly did have a very fine ass. He squeezed two handfuls of firm flesh and was delighted when her hips tilted up expertly

into his, cradling his dick to utter perfection. He lifted his head and smiled down at her. “Jesus Blondie. You weren’t kidding before when you said we were hot together.”

 

Marlena reached a hand to his cheek, and skimmed his strong cheekbone with her thumb. “Hot, doesn’t even begin to describe us.” She said in a deep, throaty voice that actually sent a little shiver down his spine.

 

Needing no more prodding, he leaned down and slid one arm beneath her knees and lifted her off her feet as if she weighed no more than a handful of flowers. Swinging her into his arms, he turned and walked toward the bedroom. He loved how her head rested easily against his shoulder and her lips just brushed his jaw, so he leaned down and nudged her head over a bit and kissed her again. How easy this would be to get accustomed to, he thought? To simply -kiss his wife. Not to have a reason or an excuse, except that he was her husband, and she was his wife, and he had every right in the

world to taste her mouth anytime the desire struck him. Hot damn!

 

Marlena felt everything spin, as John’s strong arms carried her away. How had a day that had been so bleak and so terrible turned into the most wonderfully surprising day in months? John was literally clawing his way towards becoming a real person and no longer just resignedly accepting the role of Stefano’s Pawn, and add to that the fact that he was showing signs – true, honest signs, of wanting her again. Of wanting THEM again. Not just a woman, a warm body; but her. Whatever it was that he experienced during the lockdown, was much more powerful than either of them had realized, and it had apparently affected him on a much deeper level than she had initially thought.

But dear God, let it continue, she prayed.

 

John stepped into the bedroom of the suite and paused for only a split-second to hook his foot along the edge of the door to swing it closed without ever missing a beat or a breath. The room was lit only by the late afternoon sun, and was warm and quiet. He brought Marlena to the bed and set her onto the coffee colored comforter with much less gentleness than he’d have liked, but he grinned like the village idiot, when he saw her immediately scramble further toward the middle of the bed to make room for him

beside her without ever taking her eyes of his.

 

He yanked off his jacket and dropped it without care, set his knee next to Marlena’s hip, and climbed up onto the cushiony bed, and settled right into her arms.

 

She reached for his head and pulled his face to hers as her mouth moved greedily over his, kissing and licking his lips, and not seeming to give a damn about the roughness of his stubble in the late afternoon.

 

Marlena rolled flat on her back, pulling John on top of her. Feeling his weight pressing her into the mattress was something she’d always enjoyed, and something that never lost it‘s appeal. John was a very tactile lover, so touching her and stroking her were second nature to him, and that particular aspect of their physical relationship was never in question. But she had to admit, that feeling all of those tight, taunt muscles pressed

against every inch of her body was a thrill for her- each and every time.

 

She sighed into his mouth, and felt so much of the weight and worry she’d carried on her shoulders since she’d concocted that little drug cocktail for Stefano slip away, and the world narrowed down to this room, this bed, this moment. It was just her and John, in one another’s arms – and that was just the way she wanted it. She exhaled another contented sigh.

 

John lifted his head to look at her, with such tenderness she thought she might cry. “I want to…try to make this work. This…us.” he said grasping for the right words. “I keep wandering around trying to make the best out of the…shell of a life Stefano’s left me with. And all the while, I hear your voice in my head telling me how great a guy I used to be, and how generous I used to be, and what a great husband I was and a great father

and a grandfather… and you know what Blondie? I’m tired. I’m tired of running away from him.”

 

Marlena knew this was rough on him, and she felt terrible for putting him through his paces, but the psychiatrist in her knew that the only way for John – and her, to get over this hurdle and beyond this anger, was to go through it. Together. “John. I want to help you, and I’ll do anything to help you. Anything! But I want you to be sure of what your asking me.” She was terrified that she was somehow going to blink, and this struggle

going on inside of him would somehow snap, and force him to once again to revert to the John Black she didn’t want to know. She held a breath and waited for his response.

 

“I’m asking you to help me. You did it before, right? You told me when we first met, I had no idea who I was.”

 

“That‘s right, and you worked for years, to find out as much as you could about your past. And, yes, I did everything I could to help you, and we made great strides together. But John, even with all the time and the effort we put in, there were parts of your past that we were never able to uncover.”

 

“But still, it was because of you that I became this…great guy, right?” he asked. “Everyone says that. They said you did it. ”

 

“No, oh no, John!” She cupped his cheeks in her hands, and smiled at him. “The man you were, that great and wonderful, loving, generous, caring man; is the man YOU created – not me. That’s what I want for you now. I want you to discover who you used to be. I want you be the YOU that I know is inside you, not some cold, lifeless robot that’s been programmed to Stefano’s whims.”

 

If she had been anyone else, he’d have thought that statement was a load of shit. But her face held not a single trace of insincerity. He stared down at this remarkable woman, and realized that THIS was the right thing. The right thing to do, and the right place to be. Then something else struck him.

 

The more he studied her face, the more he saw the toll the last few days had taken on her. She was drained, and she needed to relax and recover from the hell that Stefano had forced her to endure. He knew Marlena wasn’t the kind of woman who piled on the make-up in the morning, but even under the little she wore, he could see the faint purple smudges under her eyes, proving just how exhausted she was. And here he was, pushing her, tiring her out even more. Not good, he thought.

 

She lay there looking up at him, trying to read his expression and was coming up empty. “What? What are you thinking John?” struggling to get inside his head once again.

 

Without letting go of her, he moved to lie more comfortably beside her, and coughed to clear his throat. “I’m thinking. I’m thinking that you need some sleep Blondie.”

 

“Oh, I will John, but…” Marlena said confusedly, looking at them, still for the most part wrapped around one another.

 

“No. At least take a nap. You look like hell.” He said gruffly.

 

She chuckled. “Thanks, that’s flattering.“ she said lightly. “And um, weren’t we in the middle of something?” she asked coyly, moving her knee to gently rub his erection. She saw the flash of heat move across his face, and smiled at him while she slipped one hand down his body, and slowly stroked him through his pants. She might have been tired, but thiswas definitely worth staying up for.

 

Holy shit. John took a deep breath, once again reigned himself in….and moved her hand. “Sleep. You, uh, need to rest – remember?”

 

“But John, we……..” Marlena said reaching out to touch him again. He grabbed her hand, and held it in his.

 

“Please? Help me out here.” he asked quietly in that authoritative voice of his. She saw a sincerity in him, that made her heart ache. He was trying so hard to take care of her, she had to appreciate that. She nodded tiredly.

 

But when he moved to swing his feet over the side to climb off the bed, Marlena, had a flicker of fear. “John! No! Don’t go, please?” she said grasping onto the hand she still held for dear life, as her voice went from slightly anxious to full fledged panic.

 

“Whoa, easy! I’ll only be in the other room while you sleep.” he tried to keep his voice calm and even, but he could tell when her hand tightened even further on his that she was scared to death. “You can’t rest if … “ John took another deep breath, and stared at the ceiling for a moment, hoping to calm his raging hard-on, and racing libido. “Don’t get the wrong idea Blondie.” he said looking down into those weary hazel eyes again.

“It’s not easy- or comfortable, for me to get up right now, especially after your bell-boy friend already interrupted us once, but your exhausted. Your supposed to be resting not …” he looked down at his straining erection tenting his pants, and his male pride did a little happy dance to see that she was looking at the same thing, and even through her distress, she wanted him as much as he wanted her, and he smiled at her to relax her. “Just take a nap, and we can continue this… “ he searched for the right words, ” this ‘getting to know one another better’ kind of moment when you wake up. Does that sound like a plan? I really would prefer it if you’d rest.”

 

Marlena looked around the room for a moment, then back at John sheepishly. “I’d rest better if you’d , well, if you’d lie with me. Just for a little while?” she said like a hopeful child.

 

John looked at the shadows under her eyes again, and wondered how he could ever have been so cold to her. He also wondered how the hell she expected him to lay next to her, when he wanted more than anything in the world right now , to be inside her. He silently damned Stefano again, and stretched to reach the soft chenille throw that lay across the foot of the bed, and shook it open and pulled it up over Marlena’s body.

 

“OK Blondie, you win.” Marlena wiggled onto her side facing him, and gratefully set her head on the pillow. John laid back against the pillows as well, and stretched his arms behind his head. He could tell she was still looking at him, and turned his head. “What?” he asked.

 

She just smiled that gentle little smile of hers, and just shook her head. “Thank you.” she sighed and laid her hand on his chest.

 

He was damn glad he’d stayed. He brought his opposite hand down and laid it gently on top of hers, a little nervous when he felt how cold her skin felt. “Are you still cold?” he asked lifting his head in concern. “I can pull the rest of the blankets up…”

 

Marlena merely turned her hand beneath his so that their palms met, and she linked her fingers through his. John looked down at their hands lying on his chest, and felt a little pull inside him. “I’ll be warm in a minute.” she said lightly, but with a certainty that made him want to puff out his chest, as if she was assured that just lying next to him, would

keep her warm.

 

This was way more contact than he was accustomed to, yet for as much as it scared him- and it did, it felt familiar too. He turned his head again, and saw her lips curl up at the corners, seeing that she was pleased he hadn’t pulled away. “Well, then …” he removed his other hand from behind his head, and stretched it out towards her, silently inviting her to move closer into his embrace- which Marlena did almost immediately. As she had on the couch, she snuggled her head onto his shoulder, and wiggled even closer to him. She eased her body against him, until her forehead rested just under his ear, and he could feel the warmth of her breath along his neck.

 

It was in that moment, Marlena thought, that she finally relaxed. Coming to the Inn instead of going to the mansion or back to the townhouse had made her much more comfortable, and knowing that John was going to stay with her had made her feel secure. But it wasn’t until she was laying in his arms, as they had done so many other times over so many years, listening to nothing but the sound of one another’s breathing, that she felt she could truly relax, and let herself drift into a peaceful sleep. She

squeezed lightly on the fingers that remained entwined with hers, and struggled to find her voice as weariness engulfed her. “ Your not going to leave me, are you?” Her eyelids drooped and fluttered closed, her lashes resting on her cheeks.

 

John rubbed his chin on her silky blonde hair, and answered truthfully. “No Blondie. I’m not going anywhere. Go to sleep. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

 

“Promise?” she mumbled sleepily.

 

He could feel her body against his, warmer now that they were curled together, and decided to let himself relax for a while too. “Yea. I promise.” And with that he felt her take a deep breath and drift almost immediately into a deep sleep.

 

He could tell from the change in her breathing that she had all but passed out, and he was pleased. Pleased that she felt comfortable enough – finally , with him to relax, pleased that she had faith that he’d keep her safe from Stefano, and pleased beyond anything that he could explain, that she trusted him enough to curl into his arms- as if he deserved for her to be there.

 

Stefano had destroyed so much, and yet, somehow, this small shred of hope seemed to have survived. Blondie had been right all along. There must have been some part, some tiny little piece of the Old John Black lurking around inside him. She believed from the day she’d rescued him from that damn lab that if she pushed hard enough, and tried long enough, and chipped away at his ‘programming’’, something, somewhere inside of him would crack, and that guy she was so crazy about would pop his head thru the dirt. He never believed it, but damn it if she hadn’t been right all along.

 

He closed his eyes and listened to her steady breathing, and felt the rhythmic beating of her heart beside him. He pulled their joined hands closer, and looked down at her fingers, still laced with his. The diamond ring and wedding band he had evidently given her still circled her finger, and it made him smile. He didn’t know why, but he brought her hand close enough to place a soft kiss across her knuckles; delighted that her skin

was now warm and flushed with life and color.

 

Maybe it was going to be OK after all. He leaned his head back, chuckling again, when he felt Marlena snuggle closer in her sleep, and he closed his eyes. With his head beside hers, and his body beside hers, and his heart beside hers, he and his wife, fell asleep.

 

 

Chapter 4

 

The nightmare was always the same. Those few seconds just before waking, that somehow always seemed like an eternity, terrified him. The pressure on his chest, the feeling of having his limbs restrained, the chill that snaked up his spine from being on a cold metal table, and the constant torturous beeps of dozens of machines echoing through that hell hole of a lab. It made his heart pound and his blood course roughly through his veins, as if he was just waiting for some silent signal to spring into action.

 

But this time, the urge to jack-knife out of sleep and jump into ‘defense’ mode was tempered by something different. Something….warm. And sweet. He took a deep breath. What the….?

 

He opened his eyes, and his brain quickly computed his surroundings. The lockdown, the Inn, napping with Blondie….ahhh, Blondie. OK, now things were starting to come together. Looking over at the bay window, he could see the sun was hanging low in the sky, and the room was full of shadows now. The beeping in his head swiftly faded and was replaced by the muted whistles and chirps of the dozens of birds in the trees outside their window, and the feeling of the unyielding metal gurney beneath him gave way to the reality of a springy, yet firm mattress.

 

The source of all that sweetness and warmth still lay snuggled against his side sleeping peacefully, a delicate blonde head nestled into the crook of his shoulder. And it wasn’t straps pinning down his arms and legs, but Blondie. Somehow she had throw a leg across his waist and settled it between his thighs, her knee once again pressing lightly on the growing bulge in his groin. Her arm was wrapped around his middle holding him tightly against her, and as she slept, every once in a while her foot would rub a tiny,

torturous path along his shin, causing even more friction in his lap.

 

He didn’t know how long he laid there trying to decide if he could- or should, even try to move, but he didn’t want to disturb her. Judging from the dusky orange of the sky, he figured they had probably only slept an hour , two at the most, and even though -in his head, he knew she needed more rest than that, it was getting harder and harder to remain still with her curled against him like a contented kitten. Much like she’d done the

first and only time they‘d made love, every time he moved so much as a fraction of an inch, she’d wriggle around, seemingly afraid to lose contact with him, until he grew still once again, and she settled more comfortably beside him. John raised his eyes to the ceiling , and sighed. ‘How the hell was he supposed to deal with this?‘ he wondered to himself. Then he grinned.

 

There are worse things, he figured.

 

For Marlena, she felt like she was floating in and out of some peaceful Zen-like daydream. Somewhere in the middle of all that delightful tranquility, her heart felt as if the last year had never happened. There’d been no hit and run, no sign of the unbelievable horror of losing John, no trace of the shock at finding him alive but so indelibly changed by Stefano.

 

No. This felt -like home. It felt like a thousand other nights she’d lain in his arms, safe and protected in his embrace. Even in sleep, she could smell his cologne, different now, but still simple, cool and clean with just a hint of lime. But under that- she caught the scent of him. Spicy. Sexy. Irresistible. She instinctively turned her face up and opened her mouth along the warm skin of his throat, and tasted. Mmmm. “John.” she sighed,

slowly and quietly licking him.

 

Her body moved by rote. Her leg hooked across his, and her arm tightened further around him, until she had pulled herself practically on top of him, assuring her that he was real , and he was there. Feeling his arms around her, keeping her close against him, made it feel even more perfect.

So did the hardness she felt twitching against her knee. Pulling herself slowly from the fog of sleep, she slid her foot down his strong calf, and brought it back up so that her knee once again nudged the spot that was more eagerly seeking her attention, and felt a growl rumble through him. She smiled and went back for another pass. She knew she would probably regret moving too fast with John’s sudden shift in attitude, but after the sobering reality of fearing for her life, she wanted him – and she needed him, more than she could possibly explain. The rest would wait.

 

Somehow, John sensed she was no longer asleep, and if this little minx thought -even for a minute, that he was going to allow her to tease and torment him again….well, there was no way in hell that was gonna happen. He was trying his damnedest to be calm and patient, but he was a man for God’s sake!

 

He tilted his head down, and brushed his lips across her forehead, the bridge of her nose, her eyelid- whatever he could reach. He lifted his hand to stroke up the arm she had banded around him, up over her shoulder until it slid under her hair to the soft warm skin at the back of her neck. With deliberate slowness, he eased slightly onto his side, making sure to keep her thigh trapped between his own as he rolled them over, and reversed their positions, all the while kissing her carefully and gently. He was determined to keep in control.

 

When he laid on top of her, with the blanket tangled beside her, and moved his hips into hers, she came fully awake and opened her eyes to focus on his. John stared for a minute, as his mind flashing again back to the night in that damn freezing little tent. The only light that night came from a small battery powered lamp, but he didn’t think he’d ever forget the way her eyes turned from their normal hazel to a green so deep and smoky, they positively reeked of desire, and of sex. Just like…now. Oh. Well, hell.

 

“Blondie.” he said trying to keep his voice even. “I want to…uhh, I want to……….”

 

“And I want you to.“ she breathed. His next words were lost as Marlena clasped her hands behind his head and yanked him down to her. Their mouths met and mated as they tasted one another and the struggle began to rid themselves of the annoying clothing that separated them from skin-to-skin contact. John wore a button down collared shirt which Marlena took great pleasure in yanking apart, and hearing the buttons ‘ping’ off the carved Mahogany headboard and bounce across the polished hardwood floors. She tried t push the fabric over his shoulders, but stopped to let her palms cruise over the strong, hard planes of his chest that were now covered only by the soft black silk t-shirt, he’d worn beneath it, which she set about tugging from the

waist of his slacks. She just had to touch him. She felt like she’d die if she didn’t. Just as her hands coasted over the warm skin covered with soft springy hair above his waist, he moved. She blinked rapidly, trying to understand, and reached for him again to complete her task.

 

John found himself in much the same predicament. He needed the heat of her skin beneath his hands. He raised himself onto an elbow and smiled at her frenzy to strip him. “You know, I sure hope you got some rest Sweetheart, because we have some unfinished business to attend to , you and I.” He pushed himself further up onto his hip and reached back to a spot between his shoulder blades, grabbed a handful of material, and proceeded to yank both of his shirts off over his head in a single motion, and tossed them carelessly over the edge of the bed. Then, taking a page from her book, he reached to the lapels of the pretty pale blue blouse she wore and tugged without much effort, effectively shredding the delicate fabric, and exposing her breasts, heaving in

a simple; yet sexy, lace bra. The fabric was so sheer, every bit of her was visible to him- and it still wasn’t enough. His eyes caught a glimpse of the tiny pearl covered clasp in the center of her cleavage and he raised a small prayer of thanks , as his hands moved to undo it and slowly spread the bra, baring her to him. “Ohh, sen-sational!” he groaned before he lowered himself back down to her and worked his way from her ultra sensitive neck to the tangy tasting skin between her breasts.

 

Marlena’s blood was pounding through her veins like a jack-hammer, and her skin felt like it was on fire, as John’s hot mouth moved over inch after inch. She grasped handfuls of his thick dark hair and held him to her tightly, an almost frightened little yelp bubbling from her throat as if she were terrified that if she let go, he‘d disappear. He looked up at her with a sly grin.

 

“Oh. Don’t you worry, honey. I’m not going anywhere.” He lifted a hand to cup one beautiful breast in his palm, his thumb passing slowly across her nipple, making the throbbing peak even more alert and swollen. “Not anywhere. Except maybe , right here.” With that, he lowered his mouth and took the tight little bud into his mouth, circling and sucking . To be fair, he plumped the other breast in exactly the same way, and bestowed the same attention to it, as he had to its mate. “ Dear Jesus, your so sweet .” he growled.

 

Marlena writhed beneath him in undisguised pleasure. His voice sent an electrical charge through her, and if her body hadn’t been on fire before, that certainly would have done the trick. She moaned his name, as she watched his eyes lift to look at her, and then almost immediately sucked in a sharp breath as his teeth latched onto her nipple, and sent a jolt through her body that shot straight to her center, soaking her panties and sending waves of throbbing need to every hyper-sensitive nerve ending. “Oh, my God, Joooohn she moaned, making him smile against her breast.

 

John lifted his head again and looked up at her. “Want me to stop?” he teased.

 

“If you stop again, I’ll…. I‘ll ……….” Marlena mumbled impatiently.

 

“You’ll what? Die?” he questioned in that dark mischievous voice.

 

“No.” Marlena said, locking her eyes on his and clenching handfuls of hair tightly in her fists, as she answered in complete and dangerous seriousness. “I’ll kill you.”

 

The most satisfied grin spread across his lips. “God dammit woman, your even hotter when your pissed off.” he marveled.

 

His big hands held her breasts as his thumbs stroked back and forth making her nipples rock hard and aching for his attention. He watched in fascination as her lips opened in a silent plea, and her eyes fixed on his, wordlessly begging him to continue. He gave both handfuls of succulent flesh another squeeze and a delicate lick, and watched her eyes flame as she reached for his face again.

 

Needing no prodding, he raised his mouth to attack hers once more, and he thought in that instant that he could kiss this woman forever, and it still wouldn’t be long enough. Her tongue was so skilled and her mouth was so damn sweet. He moved his arms beneath her warm supple body holding all that tender flesh against him, until not an inch separated them.

 

Marlena cupped his cheeks, as her tongue swirled through his mouth, the taste of his passion crashing through her. And still she wanted more…she needed more. Her heart jumped at the familiarity of his kisses. Deep and wet, sensual and erotic, John had always poured everything he had into kissing her, and that seemed not to have changed very much. Her nails raked down his back leaving their mark until she felt the leather belt circling his waist. At that moment, it became imperative to get him out of those pants, to touch every inch of him that she had missed so desperately, but she couldn’t

get her hands to his zipper because of the way their bodies were pressed together. She slid her hands around his waist again to the small of his back, and then moved lower and sank her nails into his ass, which was no easy task since it was hard, solid muscle. “More John.” she moaned. “I….oh, I … want more… I want to feel you. I want to feel all of you.”

 

“Oh Jesus, honey, I swear your reading my mind.” He said nibbling her bottom lip. “Here, let’s try it this way.” Again, he moved both their bodies as one and rolled, until she was once again on top of him. “Sit up.” he commanded. Hearing the harshness in his own tone, added “Please, Blondie. Please, let me look at you?” he asked quietly.

 

Marlena straddled his lap and levered her body up by bracing her hands on the wonderfully solid wall of his chest. Unashamed, she shrugged the bra and the useless scrap of fabric that had once been a blouse from her shoulders, and tossed it aside. She moved her hips in a painfully slow circle, rubbing herself against his cock, sending shockwaves of pleasure through them both. She closed her eyes and sighed lustily, delight and desire evident on her face.

 

John just stared. “Beautiful…” he breathed. “Your…so…beautiful.” And she was. Her cheeks were flushed, her body was fluid, her hair was tousled and sexy, and her eyes sparkled with heat. And with love. His hands settled on the warm skin of her waist, and moved up along her sides and around to her back, all the while feeling her muscles dance just beneath the surface of her magnificent body.

 

At hearing the compliment, Marlena smiled, which always seemed to bring a certain calming lightness to him. Then she set about indulging herself, as her hands began to move over all those magnificent muscles… up over his broad shoulders, and down along his powerful biceps, and back up again to scrape her nails across the wide expanse of his perfect pecs – making sure her thumbs teased tiny circles around his nipples, much the same way he had done to her. Then she cruised a little lower, along the defined ripples of his abdomen, and she felt his ’six-pack’ tense and tighten beneath

her as his body became almost impossibly harder.

 

She wriggled herself down a bit so she was sitting on his thighs, and her fingers went to work tugging his belt open, then undoing the little catch on his pants, before her hand slid down along the distended fly, and over his hot, hard cock straining for release under the black fabric. She looked down at him, with the most beguiling expression on her face, and heaved another of those breathy, groaning, hungry little sighs he found so

utterly and completely erotic, that he almost came on the spot as she lowered his zipper with maddening slowness.

 

“Do you… have any idea… what that sound does to me?” he asked her in a slightly strangled voice.

 

Marlena ’s mouth tilted up slightly at the corners and she squeezed his thighs between her own. “Mmmm. I have a rough idea, yea.”

 

“Well, consider yourself ahead of the game then Blondie.” his hands has slowly moved from her hips to the placket of her slacks, as his fingers deftly flicked open the tiny hook and slid the zipped down. “You know a hell of a lot more about me than I do about you, but that’ll change. I have questions. Lots of questions, …of how I used to be….you know, before? I hope you won’t mind if I ask you.” he said.

 

“Mmmm. Ask me anything.” she said simply.

 

“And you’ll tell me the truth?”

 

“Oh. Absolutely.” she said raking her nails across his chest.

 

“You swear?”

 

“I’ll do anything for you. You have my word John.” she said with that quiet conviction he’d begun to associate with her.

 

John nodded his head, seemingly glad to have the assurance of her future cooperation. “Well, there’s one thing I suppose I don’t have to ask. “ John said past the lump forming in his throat as her touches moved south.

 

“Oh?” she said innocently, her fingertips gently parting the material on the fly of his black silk boxers, and sliding inside to trace the hottest, hardest erection. “What is that?”

 

His breathing was coming in harsh, quick little gasps now, as she clenched her thighs around his again, and rubbed – causing more wonderful friction for both of them. But he couldn’t resist goading her. Just a little. “Obviously, I don’t need to ask IF we were good together…I am a little curious though- as to HOW good we were together.”

 

“Oh, let me put your mind to rest, Mr. Black.” Marlena said in low, sultry voice as she bent to lick across his bottom lip, while her hand released his iron hard cock, and she stroked him; tightly in her fist, from base to tip as she said slowly, “ We. Are. Amazing.”

 

The sensation was too much. “Oh! Fuck!” he roared, as his back arched off the bed, and his lower body slammed into sweet torturous contact with hers.

 

“Oh my, what an excellent idea!“ she gasped.

 

With that, she allowed her body to go lax and practically fall on top of him, her mouth once again opened on his, kissing him the way she‘d been hungering to for months. They moved in a sensual dance, each one searching for a way to get more, or taste more, or feel more. The air around them seemed to crackle with energy, as John grabbed a handful of hair and tugged just enough to arch her neck back, and have her eyes once again focus on his. Her lips were wet from his mouth, her chest rose and fell

-captivating him, and her hand around his dick felt so good it should have been illegal. At this rate, he was afraid he wouldn’t last more than a few strokes.

 

He took a breath, and pulled some much needed air into his lungs. “Up!” he commanded as he eyed her with an animalistic hunger as she sat up, then raised to her knees in anticipation as she tilted her head to smile at him. Having already taken care of the small hook and zipper on the pants she wore , he tugged the loosened material down past her hips and over the sweet swell of her ass, letting his gaze linger on her high cut panties, a perfect match to the bra he’d disposed of a few minutes earlier. Pretty as it was, there simply wasn’t time to look. The damn thing had to go. Now.

 

Leaning to his side, he toppled her onto the bed, and leaned in to lick from the curve of her shoulder to the tender skin just below her ear because he knew it would momentarily still her, as he disposed of her pants. The panties were no more than a tiny scrap of stretchy lace that caressed every inch of her. The dark blonde patch of neatly trimmed hair behind the gauzy fabric intrigued him so much, that instead of following his initial instinct of simply ripping the cloth from her, he slid his fingers down over her mound and used the heel of his hand to apply pressure through the damp material. “Oh, Christ.” he rumbled. “Your wet. Your so wet for me, aren’t you?”

 

“Yes! Oh….oh, yes.” she said as she writhed beneath his hand. ”Please John, oh, God please…!”

 

John’s mind was buzzing. He disentangled their legs, and shucked his pants as quickly as he could, then moved to slide the panties down her legs until she lay there braced up on her elbows, naked and panting. For him. He moved over her in a near crawl, and was stunned at the way her body responded to him so knowingly once again. Her legs spread for him, cradling him exactly where he wanted to be, and her hands never stopped stroking and caressing him. But as he looked down at all that smooth, hot skin beneath him, he paused. He knew that he needed to take much greater care this time around than he had the night in the tent. This was his chance to make things better,

and he wasn’t about to blow it.

 

“John, please don’t stop.” she begged.

 

“Stop? Oh, Blondie, it would take an act of God to stop me now.”

 

“Then make love to me. I want you so much. I ….oh John, I love you so…”

 

“I know you do. I want to ….I need to make this better than the last time.” he tried to explain. “I know when we- made love at the crash site, it wasn’t … well… I wasn’t very ….” his voice trailed off.

 

“Oh, John, none of that matters anymore. Let’s start over. Here, tonight.”

 

“I’m gonna hold you to that Blondie.” he said sincerely, even though he knew there was so much more of this conversation to be had. Just not now. Right now, his mind was focused on a single objective. He needed to taste her.

 

He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss on her mouth. He took her bottom lip gently in between his own, and sucked, then moved to lick that sexy little hollow at the base of her throat, and smiled as he felt her nails rake through his hair and across his scalp, which made him shiver. Moving as slowly as he could, he kissed her. Everywhere. He slid slowly across her collarbone to her shoulder and scraped his teeth along the gentle

curve of muscle. Down along her arm to the side of her breast, his mouth sucked gently at the giving flesh. Moving in a slow, sensuous circle, he made his way to the sensitive skin below her breast, and his open mouth traced the gentle indentations of her ribs, before moving down to her belly, where he marveled at not only the intoxicating aroma of her, but also the adorably tiny cluster of freckles that circled her bellybutton.

 

He pressed his chin into the dip of her stomach, and let his eyes gaze up her body, committing this incredibly intoxicating view to memory. Sliding his hands up her sides, he watched as her body undulated beneath his touch in the sexiest little grind he somehow knew he’d ever see. Moving lower, he followed her sweet scent and kissed his way down to her hot, wet center. Without taking his mouth from her, he looked up her body again and saw her watching him. The look of desire and ….love on her face was like a drug. Their eyes locked onto one another’s as his hands slid down to cup her

hips, and tilt her body to the most perfect angle, just before he opened his mouth and kissed her in the most intimate caress.

 

Her body bowed, and her hips seemed to move of their own accord as John tasted her. She grasped handfuls of his hair, and prayed in terrified silence that this was not another insanely realistic dream. For as many times as she’d tried to convince herself in the last few months that this altered version of John was someone she couldn’t possibly love, her body betrayed her at his merest touch. Underneath the pre-programmed demeanor and the cold, distant attitude beat the heart of the man she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would remain bound to forever. Mind, body and soul.

 

The simple fact remained. She wanted him in her life. He was hers, and she was his, and no matter what happened from this moment forward, or how much he either of them remembered or forgot, this man was her destiny. She was a determined woman, and the real John Black was the man she was determined to reach, determined to re-introduce to love and honor and commitment and family.

 

And she would, she thought. Soon.

 

But right now, his mouth was on her, and his tongue was moving inside her, and ‘thinking’ about anything was just too far beyond her capacity. Stefano might have erased his memory, but his body had a mind of its own, and right now, that body of his was hell bent on taking hers to unbelievable heights of sensual pleasure. And she planned on reveling in every sweet step. “Oh God ….. Oh John.” she moaned low in her belly as he loved her with his mouth, his tongue moving in hypnotic circles over her clit, sending waves of heat through her.

 

John felt oddly like he’d stepped into some sort of parallel universe, as the taste of her sped thru his system like a drug, and felt thrillingly new- yet strangely familiar. That seemed to be a sensation that he was getting accustomed to. His mind might be a little scrambled with who he used to be, but he knew without a doubt that this woman- was his woman. She belonged to him. Not only because they seemed to ignite a passion in one another that could set off fires with a single look, but because when they came

together like this, it seemed as though pure instinct took over. His body knew what to do, and where to taste, and how to touch to make her crazy. And damn if every time she laid a hand on him, he didn’t feel like his skin was about to go up in flames. No. The only explanation was…well, fate. Or maybe destiny. She was his destiny, his partner, his wife. And unless he was mistaken, she was about to come apart in his arms.

 

Marlena wanted nothing more than to share the impending orgasm with John, to have him right there with her to make it all the sweeter, but it had been so long, and she was so close, she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to hold out against the mastery of John’s mouth. She tried to lever her body up to try to deflect John‘s touches before she past the point of no return, but John seemed to sense her concern. He wrapped his arms around her hips and flattened his hands across her abdomen . Raising his mouth for only a brief moment, he looked up at her as he blew a breath of cool air on her .

 

“Let go, Blondie. It’ll be OK. I promise.” he said quietly, as he turned his head first to the left and then to the right, and kissed each trembling thigh with a gentle caress. “Come for me. Please baby…please?” he asked, lowering his mouth again, and sucking her clit with a slow, almost maddeningly methodical rhythm.

 

Even if his mouth weren’t driving her insane, it didn’t take much more than the sound of his soft plea echoing in her ears, because a few seconds later Marlena’s every thought disappeared and she felt as though she were being hurled off a cliff, even as John’s arms held her safe and secure. The orgasm washed over her like an ocean wave, pounding her with intense pleasure, then gentling for a split second before returning to crash again. And again.

 

He heard her shout his name, and felt her hands grip his, low on her belly. Over and over her body shook as one ripple after another coursed through her for what felt like an eternity until, finally satisfied, John released her, rose slowly and kissed his way up the center of her still shaking body until he could once again claim her mouth in a dizzying kiss.

 

He held her chin in his hand and struggled to keep the smile off his face as he kissed the dazed expression from her, and watched as her eyes began to slowly refocus on his. To say he was pleased with himself would be the understatement of the millennium, but all anyone had to do was look at her face, and they’d see a woman who was utterly and completely satisfied. Well, maybe not completely. And neither was he. Not yet anyway.

 

This little reunion of theirs was far from over, John thought. And besides, he thought rather smugly, the look on her face right now, was one no one but him would ever see. Not ever. He’d make certain of it.

 

Her body began to settle and slowly molded itself once again around his as he moved atop her. She stroked a hand down his face and lifted her head to meet his mouth in a kiss of gratitude and reclamation. Then suddenly, something inside her snapped, and she raked her nails along his scalp until she had a firm enough grip on his hair to give a yank forceful enough to alarm him. He looked down at her, afraid he’d done something horribly wrong, but what he saw only served to turn him on even more – if that was even

possible.

 

She locked those sexy eyes on his and said in a voice deepened by the power of her recent orgasm, “I want you …inside me. Now.

“

John smiled and bent his head to nip her chin, but evidently his wife was not about to be distracted, because she pulled his hair again, bringing his laser blue eyes back to hers.

 

“Now John.” she moaned in a voice that seemed to be both a demand and a plea.

 

“Go easy, Blondie, I want to…”

 

“I don’t want easy John. And I don’t want you to be easy John.” she panted. “I want you to be….John. MY John.”

 

“Blon…Marlena, look, I’m afraid… I might…” he stammered, as his speech lost steam because he felt her reach between their bodies and grab his still rock solid dick to guide him exactly where she wanted him to be… where she needed him to be. It felt so good as the tip of his cock slid along her moist channel that he almost whimpered. “Uuuhh, I don’t want …to …hurt…you.”

 

“You couldn’t hurt me, John. Not ever.” She reassured him. She stroked him against her hot, wet center again and practically trembled with joy as his body moved to join with hers, and he eased inside her. “Oooh, yes! Oh! Please, oh John, please. “

 

John closed his eyes to focus his attention, pulled a deep breath into his lungs, and reached for her hands. Bracketing them in one strong fist, he held them above her head, and saw another hot flicker of passion flash across her eyes as if he‘d surprised her. Something inside him seemed to ‘click‘, as if he’d triggered a memory- something important that lay just beyond his reach, but he didn’t have time to figure out exactly what it meant at the moment. Because when looked down at her, so generously putting all her trust in him, he knew his mission was to concentrate all of his energy on the magnificent woman beneath him.

 

Her lips pursed and she blew a sexy little breath across his mouth as he leaned down to kiss her even as he slid deep inside her, inch by delicious inch, until he was buried to the hilt, and she held him as tightly inside her body as she had in her hand.

 

“Oh yes!“ he growled. He watched in amazed pleasure as her body immediately became taunt and tense, and somehow he knew that she wasn’t going to last any longer than he would. At least not this time around.

 

Cupping her cheek with his free hand he said as gently as he could muster, “I’ll make it better next time Blondie, I swear I will, but , right now, I have to ….”. He pulled his hips back, drawing out the sensation as much as he could before he jack-knifed his lower body and plunged deep, sending them both right to the edge. “Stay with me Honey.” he said as his body took over and fell into a rhythm neither of them could control.

 

He watched her head toss from side to side, and felt her muscles clench, as he sensed the swift approach of another orgasm. He knew he’d be right there with her when it hit, and he released her hands and braced himself on his elbows, just above her shoulders. He cupped her face in his hands as he moved, loving the way her arms snapped up to clench his biceps and hold on tight. She closed her eyes, arched that beautiful neck back and moaned his name over and over. He couldn’t remember ever seeing anything so incredibly hot, or so disarmingly beautiful.

 

“Look at me.” he said, his voice roughened by passion. “Look at me!” He held her face more tightly in his palms even as his hips slammed into hers. “I want to watch you. I want to see your face when you come for me.” he said deeply, as his hips pistoned relentlessly. “Do it. Come for me.”

 

“With… me, John. Come….with… me.” she wailed, her voice broken only by the deep shudders that seemed to reach right to her very soul, as her body once again went hurtling over the precipice by the demand in his voice. She pulled him down to her and opened her mouth to kiss him, wanting to be joined to him in every way- and she never once closed her eyes.

 

Her inner muscles contracted around him as she came, the mind-numbing orgasm slamming into her, pulling him right along with her into a shattering climax unlike anything he could remember, but one he somehow knew was achingly familiar.

 

He could almost swear he saw the passion virtually burst like fireworks in her eyes the instant she came, and it pulled him into the vortex with her. She cried out his name, even as her mouth was fused to his, as they breathed life into one another while the world around them seemed to splinter into a million tiny pieces and dissipate into nothing.

 

‘Aaahhh, Mar-lenaaaa!” he all but roared, as his body exploded, and he emptied himself inside her, her quivering body milking him of every ounce of passion and strength. Thrust after powerful thrust tore threw him, and his body trembled and shook right along with hers. And all the while, they’d watched each other, their eyes seeking out the signs in one another that would establish a new bond, a new trust. There was no mistaking

that kind of connection. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

 

And it made his hatred for Stefano- and what he’d so obviously stolen from BOTH of them, even more fierce.

 

It seems like forever, but after a minute or three, he felt the rush begin to ease, and his mouth slid from her lips, across her cheek, to the side of that sweet tasting, sexy smelling throat. He could still feel the aftershocks that coursed through her all along his cock, as they set off tiny tremors in him as well, even as their bodies calmed, and their

breathing began to slow to a more normal rate. He lifted his head and laid a hand to her cheek once again, and used his thumb on that adorable little dip in her chin, to angle her gaze back to his. She still looked a bit dazed, but he hoped like hell she was dazed – in a good way, and not because he’d been too rough with her.

 

“You Ok Blondie?” he asked as easily as he could.

 

“OK?” she smiled. “Mmmm. I’m better than OK.” She said slyly, as those long, slim legs she’d wrapped around the backs of his thighs came up even higher to lock around his butt, holding him still tightly against her, and inside her. “I’m….. perfect.”

 

John grinned.

 

Marlena grinned.

 

He couldn’t control the laugh that all but bubbled out of him. “Perfect, huh? I was thinking almost the same thing.”

 

“You were? Well, that’s good!” she smiled, and reached up to run her fingers through his hair.

 

He bent his head, and furrowed his brow a bit, as he tried to find an easy way to ask her. “I was worried, that I….I might have, um…..I wasn’t very gentle was I?” he questioned. “I hope I didn’t….I didn’t hurt you? Did I?”

 

Marlena stroked a hand down his cheek in a familiar gesture he was beginning to crave. “No. Oh no John. You didn’t hurt me at all. You’ve made me feel …wonderful and alive, and….loved.”

 

John’s smile was almost shy, and it tugged at her heart. She knew he couldn’t return her words of love, but that would come- in time. She was sure of it. She could see the relief on his face to know that his vigorous lovemaking hadn’t frightened her. On the contrary, it had excited the hell out of her. Not that that was anything new, but of course, he didn’t know that…yet.

 

“You are… an amazing lover. And I know you could never hurt me. Not ever.” she said trustingly.

 

John exhaled, and nodded, taking the information in. Marlena stroked a thumb across his forehead to smooth out his brow, and it brought his eyes back to hers.

 

“So, you wanted to know just how good we are together. Did that answer your question?” she asked with a smile.

 

“ It did answer that one, yes. Although, I’m wondering something else….” John said, his eyes roaming over her face, taking in every detail.

 

“Wondering, what?” she asked looking up at him with the most incredibly sexy expression on her face.

 

John toyed very briefly with the idea of handing her an empty compliment, then almost immediately realized it was totally unnecessary. He spoke slowly, wanting to make sure she was listening. “I’m wondering… if you get prettier and prettier every time you come.” he asked quietly, running a fingertip down her cheek and across her lips, before leaning

in to kiss her softly.

 

Her face was flushed with life and color, her lips were swollen and very well kissed, and her eyes sparkled like emeralds in even the dim light of the room.

 

She was, in a word, stunning.

 

Considering what they’d just shared, not to mention their current posture, it was almost ridiculous, but Marlena actually blushed. Smiling from ear to ear she looked at him through her lashes shyly. “Well, now John Black, I’d have to say that would depend very heavily, on you.”

 

“Me, huh?” he said, his eyebrow raising a fraction

of an inch, making her heart flutter again.

 

“Sure. If your feeling particularly, um… spry? Well,then a fourth or even a fifth go-round….”

 

“Whoa! Fourth or fifth? You look this gorgeous after only Round 2, and your talkin’ about 4 or 5? Really? Hell, I don‘t know if I can take it Blondie. ”

 

Marlena giggled again at his compliment. “Hey, you‘re the one who said you wanted me to fill you in, right?”

 

“I did say that, didn’t I?” he asked seriously. “But, seriously…..5 times?” John fought the urge to look down at his exhausted dick and wonder exactly how much he was up for. Then he looked back at her, and took in her rumpled hair, her sweet mouth, not to mention the hot, leggy body that was still locked with his, and figured it really wasn’t much of a stretch after all.

 

“John, “ she said trying to get a point across. “to say that , physically… you ‘please’ me, is….well, it’s….it‘s a…..” she struggled for the right words.

 

“An understatement?” he supplied.

 

“A gross miscalculation would be more accurate.” She responded honestly. Seeing that it made him smirk, she tightened her legs around him, and gave his lower body a little bump to get his attention. It worked. “You have nothing, and I do mean NOTHING to worry about, when it comes to- pleasing me, Mr. Black.”

 

John nodded. “Good to know. And by the way? The feeling is mutual. ” He looked down at the way the two of them were still joined and realized that if Blondie hadn’t moved by now, she probably wasn’t going to, so he moved them both. Again. Even though she didn’t seem to mind his weight on top of her in the least. Rolling over onto his back, their bodies parted, and Marlena actually sighed with the loss of him not being inside her.

Because he didn’t want to lose this contact anymore than she did, he kept her sprawled -rather comfortably, on top of him.

 

He managed to find a spot where the coffee colored sheets peeked out from the mussed bed linens, crawled in and with her help was able to tug the deep brown quilt over their quickly cooling bodies. He gave only the most cursory glance at the room, especially the various articles of clothing that littered the floor, and hung haphazardly off the bed, the nightstand, and the tufted bench that stretched across the foot of the bed. “We did have ourselves a rather spine-shattering afternoon didn’t we Blondie?”

 

Marlena just grinned at his familiar expression. “Yeah, we did.” she said on an exhaled breath as she laid her head once more in the crook of his shoulder. They laid for a few minutes, in peaceful silence, simply enjoying the quiet.

 

John glanced toward the closed door, and saw the sliver of light that seeped into the bedroom from the living room beyond. He remembered the covered silver tray with all the desserts, and had to admit that young Albert had certainly made it sound like there was some interesting things to be had on that tray. Maybe Blondie would want something sweet? And he could certainly use a cold drink.

 

Under the quilt, he ran his hand down her back, until he cupped her butt, and gave it a gentle little slap on the bottom. “Hey, how about some dessert? You interested?”

 

Marlena smiled against his chest. “In dessert? Always.” then she frowned. “Oh, but that means we have to get up? Tsk!” she pouted.

 

“Wow, talk about lazy.” he quipped. “All right then.” he took one of those deep “John” breaths and lifted his eyes to the ceiling, as if he was weighing his options. “Since it is obvious that I will be relying quite heavily on you in the foreseeable future to fill in a lots of the blanks for me, I guess the least I can do is get up and get you some dessert

now, huh?”

 

Marlena lifted her head to rest her chin on her hand on top of his magnificent chest, and looked up at him with a gentle smile. “Hmm. I’d say that’s pretty fair.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll bet you would.” he murmured sarcastically. “All right then lady shrink, I‘ll fetch you your dessert.”

 

”Yum. Lucky me- more dessert.” she quipped.

 

“Very cute.” he chuckled, as he slid her off his body and moved to the side of the bed.

 

“Grab a bottle of water too, please John?” she asked, as he slid out from under her and the covers.

 

Damn , there she went, reading his mind again. “You thirsty?” he asked over his shoulder, as Marlena tucked the sheet across her chest.

 

“No.”

 

He just looked at her questioningly.

 

“The water’s for you.” she smiled gently.

 

 

Chapter 5

 

Damn , there she went, reading his mind again. “You thirsty?” he asked over his shoulder, as Marlena tucked the sheet across her chest.    “No.”     He just looked at her questioningly.

 

“The water’s for you.” she smiled gently.

 

John watched her smile at him, and realized that little things like this, were just the tip of the iceberg. She KNEW he’d want a cold drink,  because she KNEW him. Aside from the fact that she seemed to have a will of iron in believing she’d get ‘her John’ back….and a jealous streak a mile long, he’d really have to find out the little intimate details of her personality. He’d see to it. And he had a sneaky hunch, he just might enjoy it.

 

He  nodded at her, and walked naked to the bedroom door, needing that cold drink more than ever. As he pulled it open he realized this was one of probably a million little things she knew about him, that he was completely clueless about. Because she loved him. Love. Oddly enough that word was starting to be easier and easier for him to say, even though he wasn‘t entirely sure he knew what the feeling meant. He was realizing more and more, that  damn vision of Santo had been pretty accurate though. She was a good woman. And if he even dreamed of being half the man she was so crazy about, he’d have to step up to the plate, and start getting himself, and his business, in order. And he’d need her. Yesterday, a thought like that would have been dismissed from his mind half a second after it had occurred, but now? Not so much.

 

Taking another cleansing breath, he walked across the room giving his neck a side to side stretch as he went,  bent to the coffee table, and lifted the dome shaped lid off the silver tray, and was hit with the rich smell of chocolate, the tang of something cinnamon-y, and the sweet smell of fresh fruit. He balanced the tray on one open palm and grabbed an icy bottle of water from the bucket on the cart and walked back to the bedroom. He paused at the door, taking in the scene before him.

 

He thought she might have fallen asleep, since she laid back against the mound of pillows, curled up comfortably with the soft quilt tucked around her, and her eyes closed in blissful rest. She had turned on the two small lamps on the nightstands that flanked the bed, and the room looked warm and cozy. So did she. He looked for a place to set the tray down, figuring he’d pick up his clothes and leave her alone to get some sleep, but she seemed to sense his presence, her eyes blinked open and focused on him.

 

“There you are.”  she said quietly and smiled, as her eyes drank him in from head to toe, and back again.    “You know,  it wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to get some more rest.” he said.

 

“My …niece, Dr. Carver was very specific in her instructions.” he said seriously, unaware that Marlena was more interested in looking at his body than she was in being reminded that she’d been in a hospital bed earlier that day.

 

“Uh huh.” she replied, thoroughly distracted by the site of his incredible physique. He was leaner than he’d been before the accident, and there were tiny scars that only her eyes could detect, but every inch of him was textbook perfection of the male form. And he was hers. “ Mmmm.” the little moan slipped from her lips almost unconsciously, but didn’t go unnoticed by a smirking John.

 

Sliding the tray onto the bed between them, he slid back beside her and  flipped the corner of the quilt over his lap.  “There’s some great looking stuff here Blondie. “ He twisted the cap off the water bottle and drank deeply, quenching his thirst.

 

Her smiling eyes never once glanced at the tray, but moved appreciatively from his throat, down across his magnificent chest to his waist, and then up again to those outstanding shoulders she adored, and she let herself get re-acquainted with each and every rippling muscle. “Uh-huh.” she said again, with barely disguised hunger in her voice.

 

John, finally understanding,  looked at her and tried to keep a straight face, which wasn’t exactly difficult, except that she looked so damn cute while she was checking out his body. Strange. It made him feel almost …proud to have her watching him like that. Not to mention the fact that he was happy as hell that Blondie didn’t seem to be a ‘one-and-done’ kind of woman. He could feel his energy returning by the second, and he hooked his finger in the edge of the sheet she had tucked across her breasts, and slid it from one side to the other- and back, exciting them both with the subtle touch of a fingertip .

 

“You know, I’m finding out more and more about you Sweetheart, and the more I discover, the more I like.”

 

Marlena barked out a laugh, and stroked a hand down his chest. “ I know what I like too.”

 

“Damn. You’re a feisty little thing, aren’t you? “ he asked with a smirk, and was rewarded when she leaned over and kissed his shoulder.

 

“Oh, when there’s something I feel passionately about- absolutely. And if there’s one thing I am definitely passionate about , it’s you.”  She laid her palm gently on his cheek. “Oh.“ she sighed. “I love you.”

 

John’s brow crinkled, as he digested her statement, and Marlena watched the smile slip from his face.  “No, Blondie, not me.  You love that other guy. “ The lightness of the moment had vanished.    If there was one thing Marlena hated, it was someone dictating to her what she should think, or how she should feel. Her short fused snapped quickly and she wriggled into a more upright position, holding the sheet against her breasts.  “First of all, don’t tell me how- or what I feel. And do not- not even for a moment, think that I don’t mean what I say when I tell you, I love you.”

 

“Now, Blondie, don’t get all bent out of shape. All I meant was…” he started.

 

“I know what you meant.“ Marlena said quickly, cutting him off. “What you don’t seem to understand  John,  is that we’ve have been in this very situation before, you and I . We have both been victims of Stefano, and we have managed to find our way out of the fire every time Stefano decides play his evil little games.”

 

“Well, I think this time around may be a little different, don’t you? My  ‘big brother‘ …” John said the words with distaste as his gaze shifted to a spot on the floor, “…saw to that. And I know that you want to believe that the John you love is tucked away inside me, but… hell, honey. I just don‘t think there’s anything left  of the guy I was before.”

 

“So what do you want to do? Give up? Let Stefano win?” Marlena asked with forced lightness.

 

“Hell no!” John stressed.

 

“Well,  allrighty then. We stand and we fight. Agreed.”

 

“This is my fight , not yours.”

 

Marlena grabbed John‘s chin and jerked his focus to hers. “It is OUR fight. John Black, you listen to me. Stefano Dimera is like a poison to us. He always was.  Time after time he has come up with a million ways to try to tear us down and keep us apart, and time after time, we have beaten him. And we will do it again. We have battled his evil influence over and over, but I never once believed that it was a battle we couldn’t win.” Marlena could see the skepticism in his eyes, and knew that even though she had planted the seed in John’s head, he was still far from convinced. “Not as long as we’re together.”

 

John looked at her skeptically.

 

“You know,” Marlena said with a wistful smile,  “ you’ve always told me, that our love was stronger than his hate. I’ve always believed that John, and I want you to believe it too. “

 

John shook his head slightly, having a rough time digesting her words.

 

“Blondie, I….don’t remember these…battles you say we’ve fought against Stefano, and I don’t remember how it was between you and I. I’m sorry, I know your waiting for some light bulb to go on in my head, but – I just don’t see it happening. All I can tell you is what I know right now. And right now, what I know is that Stefano and Rolfe crawled inside my head and scrambled my brain and turned me into some living, breathing robot without a past! “

 

John got more and more irritated as he spoke. He stood up and yanked his boxers from the floor and pulled them on quickly before he started pacing like a caged animal, his voice escalating steadily.

 

“Everything in here, …”  he said bumping the side of his temple forcefully with his open palm “  …is gone! Do you understand that? Everything! Every bit of my past- including my wife, my kids, my  grandkids….all of it! It’s all gone! My entire life has been erased by Stefano Dimera.”

 

Marlena could practically feel the anger pouring off of him, and while she feared that in times of high stress like this, those headaches he’d been suffering with could hit him harder and with more severity, but she also knew he needed to vent, so she let him rant a little and prayed the headaches would keep their distance. “Do you think I like how that feels? Do you think I like knowing that he had that kind of control over me? Do you think I enjoy the fact that that sick bastard thinks he can hurt you, and it wouldn’t bother me? ” John stopped and looked at her, and realized he’d been shouting, and knew he must have scared her. He gave a disgusted exhale, and sat heavily on the bench at the foot of the bed, and tried to calm himself.

 

Marlena reached into the tangle of sheets on the bed and yanked out  the soft chenille throw and wrapped it around her body ‘sarong’ style as she climbed out of bed and went to sit beside him.  “Of course I understand John. And I believe, with all my heart, that you will never let him have that kind of control over you again.” Marlena said resting her hand on his shoulder, where the muscles were tense and tight. “ And I know,  that you will never let him hurt me again.”

 

The sadness in her voice and the trust she seemed so willing to place in him, only made him seethe.

 

“Your damn right I won‘t. But you need to understand… I‘m ….I‘m not…” he paused, exhausted at having to go back to this tired shit again.

 

“Not what?” she asked seriously.

 

“ Oh come on Blondie! Do I really have to spell it out for you?” he questioned, as if she were insane.

 

“Apparently so.”

 

John jumped up and faced her with fire in his eyes, as he leaned down and gripped her shoulders. “I’m not HIM! You need to wake up, and face reality here Blondie.

 

“He looked down at her, thinking his words would somehow shock her into relaxing her stance a little, but it didn’t seem to be working, so he went on. “I know how much you may want to believe otherwise, but I think it’s a pretty safe bet to say that I’ll never be the same man I was before thanks to Stefano and Rolf. I’ll never be….him. And that’s what you want. That‘s who you want. You want him.   You need to accept that….he‘s gone. I‘m all that’s left. ”

 

 

“I don’t believe that. I won‘t believe it. ” Marlena said simply.

 

John shook his head trying to control his anger before he snapped again.

 

“This isn’t some damn movie where I’m gonna, I don’t know,  bump my head on a tree branch or something, and all of a sudden- BOOM! Everything’s back the way you want it. ”

 

“You know what John, it may be just that simple.” she said matter of factly.

 

“Jesus Christ!” he boomed hopping to his feet and throwing his hands in the air in symbol of impatience.

 

“Woman, you are impossible! Look…. “ he said trying again to control his temper and keep his voice just a notch below a shout. “…I told you, that I’m willing to try to ‘investigate’ the former me, and I meant that. But if your truly expecting me to just wake up one day and be, him….you need to think again.”

 

Marlena’s heart flipped over, knowing that he may very well be right, but she had to keep her faith, because if she lost that, she‘d feel as though she were betraying John.  Her John.  She watched him begin to pace again, in  short, staccato strides in front of her. The vein at his temple was throbbing to beat the band.

 

As he crossed in front of her, she grabbed his hand in hers to still him and tried to stop his restless pacing. “You know John, there was a time when Stefano wanted nothing more than to whisk me away, make me his “Queen“ – as he said. He’d deluded himself into thinking I’d find his maniacal destruction of my family some sort of twisted mating ritual,  and it would somehow ‘make me’ fall in love with him. It took years for him to realize it will never happen. NEVER.”

 

She  squeezed his hand and held him still in front of her. “Because the only man I will ever love, the only man who will ever have my heart…..is you.” She tugged him down until he squatted in front of her. She looked in his eyes and held his hand tightly in hers.

 

“So you‘ve told me. And so has everyone else in Salem,  but….” John began almost impatiently.

 

“And when he realized he’d never get what he wanted, “ she continued, as if he hadn’t spoken, “that he’d never get me away from you, Stefano decided his only recourse, was to keep you- away from me. “

 

“Well, the crazy bastard did one hell of a bang-up job this time didn’t he.

 

“John said disgustedly. “I mean, for all intents and purposes, he did KILL ME.”

 

Marlena shuddered at his words, as the horrible and vivid pictures she tried so hard to erase from her memory of that night, flashed through her head like a series of lightning bolts. In a flash, she saw the car, saw John’s body crumple to the street, and saw his life slip away minute by minute. She shook her head to clear the pictures from her mind, knowing that she’d never be lucky enough to lose them forever.

 

“If that weren’t enough, he raised me from the dead, AND decided to turn me into a semi-human weapon whose sole ’mission’  was to kill his own mother.”

 

Marlena let go of his hand, and rested her palms on his shoulders, wanting to somehow ease the tension she could see straining his muscles. With a sad smile, she said “Well, it is almost typical for Stefano.”

 

John was stunned. “Killing people and bringing them back to life….is TYPICAL?”

 

“For a madman like Stefano? Yeah. “

 

John moved back onto the little bench beside her, and looked at her -baffled . “Do you even realize how crazy that sounds?” John asked.

 

“Do you realize how crazy he IS?” she countered.  “John. This is a game to him. That’s all it is. Just a game.”

 

“A game, huh.” John said almost disgustedly.

 

“Yes. To Stefano, manipulating people into doing what he wants them to do, is fun. To him, it’s all a  game, of skill and deception. Maneuvering lives, controlling situations, moving people around like… well, like pieces on a chessboard. And you…”    “Are his Pawn.“ John said blankly,  completing her sentence.  Marlena could hear the sudden flash of sadness in his voice.

 

“Only as long as you choose to be.” she said stroking a hand down his arm, feeling some of the tension start to ease away. Marlena leaned toward him and laid her cheek lightly on his shoulder, in a silent show of support.

 

“Well, you know what Blondie,  I’ve had just about all I can stand of somebody else controlling my life.”

 

He looked down at her and touched a stray wisp of hair that fell against her cheek. “And yours.”  He thought again of the hell she’d been through in the last 2 days, and marveled again at her resilience.

 

“I know.” she said quietly.

 

John took a deep breath to try to ready himself for the conversation he’d been avoiding for months. But if he was going to change the course of his life, he had to have all the facts, even if it burned his ass to face his former self. Reaching for her chin, he raised her head from his shoulder to level his eyes on hers once more. “All right then. Story time.” he said decisively. He pivoted around on the little bench and faced her fully, as if he was ready for a confrontation.

 

Marlena looked a little confused. “What do you mean?”

 

“Well, if I’m going to….be the man you want me to be…I – at least, need to find out more about- the man I was. I need to know ‘him‘, don’t you think?”    Marlena was stunned. “Honestly? But you always….”

 

He nodded. “You said that you and I met years ago, right?” John pressed speaking over her.

 

“And that apparently, Stefano had already gotten his hands on me – and my memory, so….how about it Blondie? Wanna share ‘Chapter 1’ with me?”

 

Words almost failed her, as she stared at him. “You’re really going to listen? You really want to hear this?”

 

“I asked you, didn’t I?“ John snapped out an abrupt response.

 

Marlena recoiled almost visibly at the harshness of his words. “I know you did, but it’s just that, every time, I’ve tried to tell you this before, you’ve been so….”    “

 

Stop.” John snapped,  holding up his hand. “Look Blondie, if I’m being honest here – and I promised I would try my best to be honest…”

 

“Thank you.” she mumbled quickly.

 

“Your welcome.” he responded just as fast. “Then, no. I don’t necessarily want to be forced to sit and listen to you wax poetic about my good and saintly past. It’s not exactly how I’d choose to spend my time with a beautiful woman.  Especially when I happen to know your naked under this little blanket….” he tried his snarky little smirk on her, but this time, she didn’t so much a twitch.

 

He cleared his throat and continued. “But for you, I will. I need to… know -this guy you’re so desperate for. I mean, if I’m going to truly win you back, then I have to know what I’m working with. Right?” he asked in a voice that had Marlena wondering just which one of them he was trying to convince.

 

“John, this is not about me. And it’s not about ’winning me back’. “

 

Marlena answered, purposely ignoring his little attempt at humor. “ I want you to know who you are- for YOU.”

“Right. Because I’m so wonderful.” he said acidly.

 

“Ditch the attitude, ok John? It‘s really getting old.” Marlena snapped.

 

“You were a wonderful man. And you still are. All you have to do is remember.”

 

“Easier said than done, Blondie…”

 

“John Black, I want you to listen to me.” she said practically slapping her hands to his cheeks holding John’s gaze directly on her own. “ Even after all that Stefano has done to us- we have always prevailed. You and I…. together.  And together, we will work our way through this too. “

 

John paused, surprised again, at the fierce determination in this woman. “Together?”

 

“Absolutely.” she said in a voice that broached no question.    John smiled and shook his head is a gesture of surrender. “You know, maybe I wasn’t such a bore after all.”

 

“Oh? Why would you say that?” she asked, softening a little.

 

“Well,   I picked you. And if there’s one thing I know for a fact Lady- its that  you sure as hell aren’t boring. “ John grinned at her, and watched her eyes water , as she ducked her head again, and smiled.

 

“If I were pressed to choose the one word that could NEVER be used to describe our life, Mr. Black,  it’s boring. “ Marlena laughed.

 

“I may not know a lot, but I know that you’re a hell of a woman. You’ve put up with an awful lot of bullshit from that crazy old bastard – and ….you’re still here. That’s got to say something. “

 

“Yes. As a matter of fact it does. It says that I love you. And it says that no matter what tricks Stefano pulls out of his hat, we can deal with it…” before she could finish her sentence, he did it for her.

 

“Together?” he asked.

 

“Together.” she nodded affirmatively and turned one of those mega-watt smiles on him.

 

“I may not know a lot, but I know that you’re a hell of a woman. You’ve put up with an awful lot of bullshit from that crazy old bastard – and ….you’re still here. That’s got to say something. “

 

John sighed and held out his hand. “Come here.”  Taking her hand, he led her back to bed. He moved the forgotten tray of desserts to the night stand, and held the covers back for her to climb in. He slid in beside her, whipped the sheet across his lap, and sat with his back braced on the pile of pillows mounded at the head of the bed, then smiled to himself at how she immediately moved closer to him, as if she just couldn’t bear to be too far away. Relaxing his head back against a pillow, he tilted his head in her direction, took a deep breath and focused on being calm and collected.  “ So. When I met you all those years ago….Stefano had already done one of his magic tricks on my brain, right? Everything in my past- was a blank?”    Marlena tilted her head back on the pillow in a mirror image of John, and nodded affirmatively.

 

“Like now.”

 

“Sort of. Except that back then, after he’d wiped your mind clean of your past, he….brainwashed you into believing you were Roman. My husband. Even though you didn’t remember it at the time. Neither of us did.”

 

The look on John’s face told Marlena that no matter how many variations John heard of their twisted past, he was finding it hard to accept.  “ And you, just…………”  John paused, almost unable to finish.

 

“Just what?”

 

“You just….bought that? I mean – forgive me for stating the obvious Blondie, but … me and your ex? Um, not exactly look-alikes.”    Marlena smiled as her eyes raced across the expanse of muscled chest beside her, before giving up and emitting a little giggle. “ You think?”

 

“OK, then, how- exactly did someone slip that idea past you?” John asked seriously. “You’re a pretty smart cookie Blondie, and I find it a little difficult to believe that you could be snowed so easily.”

 

Marlena began, “John when you and I first met, you were lying in a hospital bed with your face completely bandaged, recovering from plastic surgery. Extensive  facial surgery. We became friends, long before you ever admitted to me that you had no recollection of your past. Once you agreed to let me help you recover from the amnesia…

 

John laughed, low and angry. “Huh! ‘Recover from amnesia.’ Sounds a lot more politically correct that saying my brain was dry-cleaned by a mad man, eh?” he asked bitterly.

 

“I suppose it does. In any event, the end result is the same. And once we began to re-assemble the pieces  of your past that you managed to recall, we began to uncover clues to who you were. Or rather, who you thought you were.”

 

“Your husband. Roman Brady. ”

 

“Yes. Stefano had evidently faked his death, and held him a prisoner on an island compound for years. “

 

Marlena tried to read John’s face, but he was doing his best “Jawn” impersonation. Cold. Detached. Impersonal. Marlena continued. “But once you and I got to know one another better, and began working together to rediscover your past,  I began to fall deeper and deeper in love with you, and somehow the fact that you had no idea who you were, well, it didn’t seem to matter to me.” she said with a small smile.

 

John reached out a finger and ran it along the curve of her cheek, making Marlena’s heart skip a beat. “Must have been because I’m so damn irresistible, huh?” he said quietly. This time, his voice held none of the anger or resentment he had a few minutes ago.

 

Marlena smiled at him, thankful beyond words that he was trying. “Must have been.” she said grabbing his hand and holding it in hers, against her chest as she continued.

 

 

“We managed to locate the doctor who had performed your facial reconstruction, and he had a photo of what you looked like before the surgery. It was a picture of Roman.”

 

“And, that’s what convinced you?”

 

“Well, that. Among other things.”

 

“What ‘other things’?” John asked.

 

“Things you began to remember. Things about our life, our family. Things that, well, things were personal and private to us.”    “And all these ‘things’ were things Stefano …programmed in me?” he said the words with complete disgust.    “ Yes. But you know, the funny thing was….” she began.    “There’s a ‘funny thing’ here?” he asked sarcastically.

 

Marlena pried the fingers of the hand she held open, and placed his now open palm on her heart, covering his hand with her own. “The funny thing was, that in the end it didn’t matter.”

 

John could feel the steady beat beneath his fingers, solid and sure. Like her. “Why? Why didn’t it matter?”

“Because I loved you. Because nothing would ever change that.” She said it so matter-of-factly, John had to smile.

 

“You loved me. Just like that?” John wondered aloud.

 

“Just like that. With my whole heart and soul. “ she smiled.    “And then the ‘real’ Roman showed up , and ‘Poof!’ we were history?” he asked with just a trace of something in his voice. Jealousy, maybe?

 

“Well, it wasn’t exactly that cut and dried, John. It was …” she searched for the right word. “…complicated.”

 

“Well, is there anything connected to Stefano that ISN’T complicated?” he asked.

 

Marlena laughed , a rich, hearty sound that vibrated through his hand, up his arm, and crashed into his heart. “Not usually.” He watched in fascination as her eyes closed, and a contented sigh slid past her lips, and he realized that his hand had slid down her body a few inches to cover her breast, and his thumb was stroking her nipple in a slow, lazy caress.

 

John wanted to continue the conversation, since he’d begun to actually be interested in this soap opera past of theirs, but what kind of man in his right mind, would choose to talk, when  he had a warm, willing woman in his bed? Certainly not this man.

 

He leaned down to press his lips gently to her shoulder, and felt the shiver that ran through her, exciting him unspeakably. He moved his hand back up to the soft fabric that she’d banded around her, and hooked his finger under the edge near one armpit, and stroked her skin, making her tremble.

 

“Blondie…” he mumbled as his mouth opened on her shoulder and his teeth scraped her soft skin, sending the taste of her straight to his brain.    Marlena was lost in the sensations. “Mmmm.” was all she could manage.

 

“How terrible would you think I was, if I said I wanted to hear the rest of this saga some other time? I don’t think I  want to talk anymore tonight?” he asked, as his mouth kissed it’s way across her collarbone, and his finger tugged gently where the blanket had been tucked between her breasts so that it separated on a breath, and slid down her torso to pool around her hips like a fluffy puddle, baring her to him once again. His hand cupped one breast, then the other, before sliding  down her side and around to the small of her back where her skin was hot and silky. He pulled her closer to him even as he slid his mouth up her neck to kiss the magical little spot that thrilled them both. In the space of a few seconds, and with very little effort, John had tugged Marlena onto his lap, and she was wrapping herself around him in slow, sensuous, deliciously practiced moves that were so second nature to her, it made John envy his old self. The old John Black, he was slowly learning, was indeed,  a very lucky man.

 

Marlena opened those gorgeous hazel eyes, and stared at him with the sexiest smile. Her hands came up to cup his cheeks and draw his face in line with  hers.

 

“Terrible? Oh baby, that’s not terrible at all….that’s…mmmm……that’s….fabulous. Oh God that’s,  mmmm,   oh….John……….” Marlena gasped as John’s teeth nipped sharply at her earlobe before his tongue soothed the little piece of throbbing flesh with a gentle sucking motion. His hands had settled on the swell of her hips, and he rocked her gently against his cock, which was already standing at attention  and pointing due North.  Marlena’s hands slid from his shoulders, down across his chest, to dip  under the blanket into his lap to wrap around him in a double fisted caress. John’s head slammed back into the mound of pillows as Marlena stroked him perfectly.  Dipping back down for another pass, she leaned in to his exposed neck and treated him to pretty much the same erotic torture she’d received from him mere minutes before, all the while keeping a tight hold on his cock.

 

John felt like he was about to explode from all the sensations. Her sweet smelling hair was tickling his chest as her sexy mouth left a wet trail of sucking kisses up and down his throat, and her nipples stroked his own as she sat astride him.  Her hands still had a fearsome grip on his manhood, and that tight little ass of hers rubbed his thighs. He could feel the heat that emanated from her center and was drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

 

“Blondie….” he growled, his fingers digging into the giving flesh of her hips. “I need to be inside you. Please. “

 

The last word was said so deep in his throat, Marlena might not have heard him had her ear not been a few scant inches from his lips. She lifted her head to look at him once more, before opening her mouth over his and kissing him deeply, as she lifted her hips and positioned him at her entrance, before sinking slowly down, inch by glorious inch, until she was completely impaled.

 

John’s breath rushed into her body, and filled her lungs,  as they became one, and Marlena knew that no matter how long it took, or what they had to do, they would get back everything that had been taken from them. They had to. This love was simply too huge, too perfect, and too deep to be lost to Stefano’s insanity. It was more than just a meeting of bodies, it was a melding of souls. And Marlena would fight the Devil himself, much as John had done for her, to protect and preserve their love.

 

John slid his hand up the satiny skin of her back to fist a hand in the silky blonde strands that cascaded down the center of her back, as she threw her head back, and let her body move to the dance they’d begun more than 2 decades ago. At his whispered urging, she rode him, holding tightly to his strong shoulders for support, even as his hips pumped up into her. She was in a word- magnificent. Her body bowed above him, as she took her time, and the image of her moving on top of him completely focused on giving them both incredible please,  burned itself indelibly into his brain. No amount of brainwashing could ever rid him of that picture.

 

John could tell that- once again, he wasn’t going to last long, and wondered briefly when his body would settle down enough to allow the passion between them to last  more than a few hurried moments, or if they were destined for a lifetime of frenzied, frantic couplings.  She deserved more than ‘quickie’ sex, and he deserved the time to explore every fascinating curve and hollow of her magnificent body. He’d be damned if he’d let either of them be shortchanged. Placing his hands on her hips, he slowed things down, causing Marlena to look at him with question and worry written all over her face.

 

“What’s wrong honey?” she asked concerned, her voice husky and laced with desire.

 

“Not a thing.” he said, and smiled at the endearment. He  wrapped his arms around her securely and folded his legs under him until he could shift them, to lay her beneath him, with their heads at the foot of the bed.

 

She wrapped those long, gorgeous legs around his hips, tilting her pelvis to just the perfect angle, and John slid into her even deeper than before, making him gasp. Never missing a stroke, her nails raked a path down the corded muscles of his back, she looked into his laser blue eyes, and moaned her satisfaction.

 

“John, oh ……you feel so good. So incredibly good. ” she sighed, even as he felt her inner walls begin to tighten as her orgasm approached.

 

“Sweetheart, you have …no idea… what you do…to me.” he gasped as he tried valiantly to hold off his own orgasm, but she tightened all those hot limbs and hotter muscles around him so perfectly, he knew that with a few more strokes, she’d start to tremble, then her breathing would break and she’d gasp and thrash as she hit the edge of the  peak, before she exploded around him.  And then she’d…….wait.    Wait.  How in the hell did he know that? With no time to figure out how he knew what he seemed to know, the image slammed into his mind like a lightning bolt. She wore a flowing gown the color of a pale blue sky, and her creamy shoulders were bare. She carried a bouquet of flowers tied with a simple ribbon, a circle of diamonds around her wrist reflected the soft candlelight in the early evening,  and a smile more serene than anything he’d ever seen, lit her face as she walked down the isle toward him. ‘I love her.’ he thought. ‘And how lucky am I , that she loves me?’

 

As fast as the feeling crashed through him, it disappeared almost as quickly and he was jolted back to the present in the blink of an eye. Marlena grabbed his arms to steady them both as his hips picked up speed of their own volition. Before he had a chance to blink again, he felt her tense around him in the most seductive way, as her orgasm crested, and began to pull him over the edge with her. Shouting her name, his body erupted into hers, and his thoughts shattered in a million directions. This was no longer just sex. That much was obvious. But love? He didn’t know what that was, yet…..did he?

 

Marlena saw something flash across his face. Realization? Remembrance? She couldn’t be sure, but something had certainly surprised him. His eyes widened and his expression showed shock and fear, but somehow she could tell that he would need her to be the anchor that held him together, as they came in a blinding explosion of light.  And love.

 

Marlena reveled in the feeling of John filling her, and held him tightly against her, her hand cradling his head into the crook of her neck, until he calmed. John’s breath rushed through his lungs as he held her pressed tightly to him. She could feel his heart slamming in his chest, as his entire body remained rigid, and for a minute, she worried if John were on the verge of another of his headaches. But when he lifted his head after a minute or two from the warmth of her shoulder, and stroked a hand across her cheek, before taking hold of her chin and kissing her deeply, his tongue taking total possession of hers, all worries of headaches disappeared, and Marlena was once again bombarded with such intense love for this man, she feared she might break apart.

 

His kisses seemed to go on forever, his tongue taking long leisurely tastes of hers- not that Marlena had any problems with that, but she knew him so well. She sensed a desperation in him. Desperation, and something else. Maybe- fear?

 

Something important was happening, something that would effect them both, but she refused to let her mind jump to conclusions. John, still inside her, rolled to his side, keeping her pressed tightly to him, as if he were afraid to let her go. “Come here, baby. Come here. “ he mumbled quietly.

 

Not that she was capable of any kind of voluntary movement right now. Her limbs felt like over-cooked spaghetti, and she didn’t think she had the energy to do more than breathe, but John’s body was still thrumming with vitality- she could practically feel it coursing through him.

 

Could this be the breakthrough she’d been praying for, or was this just a vivid reminder of the world class sex they’d perfected over the course of their years together,  one that she had gone without for so many months?

 

One thing was for sure. As soon as she could get her brain to function again, she intended to find out. John pulled the twisted blankets up over them, and stroked his hand repeatedly along her cheek in a gesture so familiar to her, it made her want to cry. She said a silent prayer that the intense connection she and John were forming, would bring them closer to reconnecting their past -to their present,  and not send him running for cover. Her John was in there. She knew it. She’d always known it. And unless she was way off base, she’d just witnessed another little bit of Stefano’s creation crack and fall away, only to disappear under the power of their  love.

 

Marlena’s mind raced with a thousand questions, but the ability to ask them just wasn’t there. Instead, she relished the moment and relaxed even further into his embrace, nuzzling her head against his neck and kissing at the pulse that beat there. John’s voice surprised her.

 

“Is it……is it always like this?” he asked, his voice and breathing still not back to normal. A fact which made her smile.

 

“Like what?” she sighed, trying to gauge where his mind was going.

 

“Like, being caught in the middle of a hurricane with nothing to hold on to?” he asked, seriously at a loss for how else to describe the sensations pummeling him.

 

Marlena couldn’t help herself, and laughed. “ I guess it is, yea.  Amazing, isn‘t it?“ She lifted her head just enough to nip at his jaw. “You do know how to make the Earth move.”

 

“Move? That was more than just moving. That was ….it was……” John paused, unsure of what to say.

 

Marlena’s voice screamed in her head. “Love! It was love!” but she dared not say it out loud, for fear that John would panic.  Instead, she just cuddled closer, and prayed that he would know. Maybe some part of him would just know.

 

“That was spine-shattering. And you, Mrs. Black are the amazing one.” John said with a sincere little smile that warmed Marlena to her soul.

 

“It’s like I told you John. Together, we can do anything. Maybe now you’ll believe me.”

 

“Maybe I will.” he sighed, closing his eyes, and enjoying the peace and quiet. After a few minutes, John took a deep lungful of air, and detected a sweet scent, almost as enticing as the woman curled against him. The tray full of desserts was still on the table by the bed. He tilted his head to look at the array of airy pastries, and tarts piled high with fresh fruits and the big parfait glasses of chocolate mousse, topped with mountains of whipped cream, and chuckled as his brain skidded into the gutter and he thought about how decadently sinful it would be to lick that whipped cream off of her body.

 

Before he could control his thoughts, another image plowed into his brain. Another image of her, as she moved sensuously above him. Her hair was longer and blonder, tousled and sexy as hell, the silky strands cascaded over her shoulders reflecting the fire that crackled in the hearth behind them. She held up her hand, and he could see the cool whipped cream coating her fingers as she slid it across his mouth a mere second before her tongue peeked out from her smiling lips to lick it from his, her tiny sigh vaulted him back to the present.

 

“What are you thinking?” she asked innocently.

 

“I wish I knew Blondie. “

 

John mumbled, genuinely puzzled.

 

She heard real confusion in his voice, and levered her body up against his side to look at him. “Tell me. Maybe I can help you. ”

 

He looked perplexed. “John?”

 

John was at a loss for how to explain what had  happened. Not just once, but twice.  Was it a memory? Was it a fantasy? Was it some factual event he was recalling, or was it just another lie Stefano had hidden like a landmine in his brain.

 

“John?” Marlena asked again, fear lacing her tone. “ Honey, please. What is it? Did you have a…” she was almost afraid to say the word, so John did it for her.    “A memory?” he said quietly.

 

Marlena’s face was a mixture of fear and hope as she stared at him. “Tell me John. It’s alright. Just tell me what you remembered.”

 

John’s voice seemed to come from far away.

 

“A picture. I guess…..an image. I’m ….I’m not sure.”

 

“A picture?” Marlena asked. Now she could read the look on his face since his defenses were down, and as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she saw fear. Unsure of whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, she waited.

 

John looked at her, trying to recall the image again. It flashed across his eyes once more, and then in a split second, it disappeared again before he could focus on any details. He had to take the leap and trust her. If nothing else, he knew she was the one person – the only person,  he could trust.

 

“I saw…..”    Marlena held her breath, terrified that any one of a million horrible memories of his years as Stefano’s mercenary, of the times he was held prisoner in the dungeon, of the twisted past Stefano had created and re-created for him over the years would surface to force John’s mind to places he didn’t want to go. “It’s ok John. I swear to you. Whatever it is…..it’ll be alright. We will deal with whatever it is.  I promise! “  Her hand cupped his face and slid her thumb across his cheekbone.

 

He reached up and grabbed her hand, holding it in front of him to examine it, hoping the image would return. Hoping against hope that he’d discover something;  something tangible. But the memory was gone, the image unclear. The only thing he could hold, was her. She was real. And for as doubtful and as skeptical as he was, something inside him told him that what he’d seen was real. She was right there with him, and in much the same way as he remembered her pulling those goggles of his face and looking into his eyes so many months ago in Rolfe‘s lab, he felt he could trust what he saw. He could trust her. He may not know why, but he knew he could. And it scared the hell out of him.

 

“John. Tell me what you saw. Even just little pieces are very helpful.  The tiniest details will add up.”

 

He was still staring at her hand, looking at her fingers, as if they held some kind of a clue. “What did you see John?”

 

John pressed her fingers to his lips. Her skin felt cool and soft against the heat of his mouth. He looked up at her, her hazel eyes desperate for some sign of truth, and his heart smiled a little, even through the fear, happy that he could give her something- after all she’d done for him.

 

“John. Please….tell me. What did you see?”    He kissed her fingers, and took the leap.

 

“You.“ he said simply.   “I saw you.”

 

 

Chapter 6

 

“John. Tell me what you saw. Even just little pieces are very helpful. The tiniest details will add up.” He was still staring at her hand, looking at her fingers, as if they held some kind of a clue. “What did you see John?”

 

John pressed her fingers to his lips. Her skin felt cool and soft against the heat of his mouth. He looked up at her, her hazel eyes desperate for some sign of truth, and his heart smiled a little, even through the fear, happy that he could give her something- after all she’d done for him.

 

“John. Please….tell me. What did you see?”

 

He kissed her fingers, and took the leap. “You.“ he said simply. “I saw you.”

 

Marlena was flummoxed. While her mind raced through the million possible responses to a statement like that, she didn’t know whether to scream or to cheer or to jump for joy that something, something had finally managed to work its way to the surface of John’s memory and she was thankful beyond all measure that that something was her, but as a doctor, she knew better than to rush too far ahead…or to push John’s mind faster or further than it could go. Her entire body seemed to go rigid, except for her heart -which felt like it was about to pound it’s way out of her chest. “Mmm-me?” she stammered. “You saw me?” she asked trying to keep her voice even.

 

John only nodded, and still somewhat dazed, continued to hold her hand to his lips, almost as if he were afraid to destroy some invisible connection to the memory, but it was gone. His eyes shifted and locked onto hers. “Twice.” he murmured.

 

“Twice?” she whispered. She gulped in a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “Tell me, John.”

 

Still not letting go of her hand, he tried closing his eyes again in an attempt to recall the flashes. “Umm, I don’t really…..I’m not sure what it was….or where it was….or even when….it keeps…slipping away, but dammit, I know, it was you. I was looking at you. I know…. I saw you….” his voice faded as he spoke and tried to bring the memories back into focus.    Marlena’s mind began to pound in time with the beat of her heart, and she had to mentally shift into “Doctor” mode, and try to make some sort of analytical sense out of the information she was beginning to get from him. As a psychotherapist, she knew that when it came to memory reclamation, most patients started by recalling specific images or occurrences, as opposed to recalling an entire experience. Patients suffering from such severe memory loss the way John was, would usually reclaim their past in stages, and prior experiences would often return in bits and pieces, and in no particular order, much like a puzzle, until with their doctors help, the pieces could be joined together to form a cohesive scenario. Looking at it strictly as a doctor, hadn’t she and John been doing exactly this throughout their entire relationship? And they’d been -for the most part, successful. She tried to hang onto that thought, hoping it would be of some comfort to her if this turned out to be another dead end.

 

“I can’t remember now. I’m….it was….oh dammit!” he growled, arching his body back and pushing his head deeper into the pillows in frustration.

 

“Why can’t I even remember this one…little…thing…?”

 

Marlena sat up and faced him.

 

“John, I want you to relax. If you try to force yourself the, the memory will slip further away.” She tucked the sheet around herself, and studied his face as he struggled with himself. “Look at me. You ‘saw’ me remember? Now. Just take it easy…” Marlena laid her hands on his cheeks.

 

“This is a wonderful breakthrough, and your doing a marvelous job. Just try to focus, John. Your doing great, just take it slow. Look at me.” she begged, straddling the line between doctor and lover.

 

“ What your experiencing is completely normal, and what you need ….. “

 

“Normal? There isn’t a fucking thing normal about this situation Blondie. Not one God damn thing!” he said angrily.

 

“These images pop in my head and just when I think ….Ugh! Why can’t they – stay….so I can see…?”

 

John’s patience was flimsy at best, and it irked him that the image – even for that brief moment, had been so clear, so detailed, and yet, now, he couldn’t manage to bring it back together. He heard her voice, and even her calm tones set him off.

 

“I know Baby, I know.” she soothed. Stroking a hand across his chest, feeling the tensely corded muscles bunch under her fingers.

 

“Just relax a little bit for me, all right? Let the memory come back to you. Just take some nice deep breaths, and look at me. Focus. On me.“

 

“Blondie, it’s ….it’s right there…” he said, pressing his fingertips above his eyes, “…yet I can’t see it!

 

Perspiration popped out across his forehead, and he squinted in concentration. “I know it was you I was looking at.”

 

“All right John, that’s good!” she said encouragingly. “That’s very, very good.”

 

“But I can’t…..” his breathing began to pump from his lungs, and the vein in his temple throbbed- as sure sign John was struggling. “Dammit! It was right there!” he said gesturing to some invisible spot above the bridge of his nose. “I could see you. Dammit! I was watching you. We …all… were. “

 

The word may have slipped past John in his frenzied state, but it grabbed Marlena’s attention in an instant. ‘We‘? Marlena wondered, as her mind scrambled to follow John’s thought process. Who is ‘we’?

 

Before she could try to reason a plausible explanation, she saw something register on John’s face once more. Like a flash of lightning, it was there and gone in a heartbeat, but no one knew John they way she did. No one. He’d remembered something, she knew he had. So she held her breath, and she waited.

 

Just as the image streaked across his brain again, John fought to capture it before it rushed away. “ I was …watching you. We were…. all … watching you. You were…. uh…walking! Yes, you were walking ….” John paused, as he fought to hold onto the shreds of the memory, and Marlena tensed. “… to me.” He held her gaze and locked his eyes on hers, as the flash of the image began to gel. “ You were… walking toward me, and you looked beautiful. You were…. we were……”

 

Marlena’s heart did a little flip in her chest as she could see the little burst of memory spark in his deep blue eyes as the details popped back to him.    “…. we were….” Suddenly, John sat bolt upright, forcing a gasp from Marlena, when he grabbed her shoulders tightly. “ We were getting married!” he said in astonishment. “That’s it! You were walking…. down the aisle to me. And I ….I could see, everyone watching you… everyone turned to watch you. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. And I felt it. In here” he said almost to himself, as he grabbed blindly for her hand and laid her palm flat on the center of his chest and covered it with his own.

 

“Inside me. It felt ….big….” he said with a touch of wonder in his voice. “And it felt amazing, even more than it had before. I knew…. I knew …when I was looking at you, that….”

 

“You knew- what John ?” Marlena asked, trying not to push him, and trying to hold herself together and not to cry. “ What did you know?” she asked gently.

 

John‘s voice held a slight tremor that most people wouldn‘t have even been able to detect. But Marlena wasn‘t ‘most people‘. “I knew…..I knew, that I loved you…. more than anything in the world. And….and I knew that you loved me.“ He looked at her, clearly as astonished as she was. “ And, I knew I was one lucky son of a bitch, that you were going to be my wife.” He lifted his other hand and gently cupped her chin, studying her, even as she studied him. A smile inched across his mouth.

 

Marlena couldn’t hold back the tears of relief and of release, as they slid silently down her cheeks, wetting his fingers. “Oh, John.” she said, her voice barely a whisper.    John had a look of wonder on his face, like a kid who’d just snuck down the stairs on Christmas morning to scope out the presents under the tree. He was looking at her, but his eyes were almost looking past her…into their past.

 

“You looked different. Your hair was different, it was, it was shorter,” he mused, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. ” But you were…… oh God, you were beautiful. And your eyes… he almost laughed as he said it, stroking her cheek, “ I couldn’t stop looking in your eyes. ” He held her face so gently and lovingly, almost as if he knew how fragile she was at that moment.

 

Marlena’s heart swelled as she recognized the man she’d loved for most of her life, fighting his way back to her. Taking a deep breath, she silently thanked God, for this chance, this opportunity to turn back the clock and share with him a first hand example of the strength and the power of their love.

 

That was when John did something Marlena hadn’t seen in almost a year. He smiled.    Not a smirk.  And not that sly, cocky little grin that, even she had to admit, she’d come to look forward to.

 

But a real, genuine, ear-to-ear kind of smile. “ I remembered.” he said with pride. His thumbs wiped the moisture from her cheeks, and his eyes studied her face as if he was committing every minute detail to memory again. “I remembered you….and ,“ he stressed, “ I remembered us.“ He said it as both a statement of pride, and a sigh of relief. “ I remembered.”

“Yes. Yes you did. ” She stroked her hands along his arms, and leaned in to kiss him softly. “I’m so proud of you.” “Well,“ he shrugged almost shyly. “One little moment from what I’m sure was a pretty eventful day? Not exactly what I’d call a….” he paused, searching for the right word.    “Breakthrough?” she supplied with a smile, determined not to let him diminish his accomplishment.

 

“Yeah.” John said with a frown, dropping his hands, and looking out toward the dark woods beyond the window.    “Your wrong. That one ’little moment’ as you call it, is a major step, John. “

 

“Oh really ? Why would you say that?” he asked.    Marlena brushed more tears off her cheeks, and flicked her hair over her shoulder in an unconscious gesture. She tried to keep her voice steady, and tried to maintain a shred of objectivity. “Simply surviving what you’ve been through is….huge. And yet, you see it as some casual event.“ She craned her head around to catch his gaze, and bring his eyes back to hers. “It’s not casual John. Recalling and reclaiming your memory after the trauma of what Rolf and Stefano have done, is a massive undertaking. But, please believe me when I tell you, it CAN be done. And I promise, you will NOT have to go through it alone.“

 

He smiled at her and flicked a strand of hair from in front of her eyes. “I believe that. I really do.“ He looked at her and shook his head. “You know something Blondie, if I had half your… strength, I’d have my memory back like that!” he said snapping his fingers for emphasis on his last word.

 

“It doesn’t work that way. Not for anyone.” she said quietly. “And you do have my strength. Because my strength, comes from you. “ she gave him another of those little smiles that made a part of him think that she could tell him the moon was made out of green cheese, and he’d believe her.

 

John looked at her, and wondered to himself. After all the time he’d spent denying he wanted anything to do with the man he used to be, would she’d believe him if he told her what he was feeling right now. Truly believe him. But, he decided, he might as well pull out all the stops – especially since nothing had seemed to scare her away so far. He hesitated a bit before he spoke. “ I do want to remember, you know . I guess, ….I guess I always did, It was….”

 

John sighed, and Marlena could see the exhaustion finally beginning to show on his handsome face. “ I just didn’t want to …”he paused, still a bit unsure.

 

“You didn’t want to be someone that everyone else wanted you to be?” she guessed.

 

John looked at her, and gave up his struggle with voicing his true feelings. “No.” When her eyebrows arched in question, John forced himself to be honest. With a deep breath he said, “I didn’t want to try to be the man YOU wanted me to be…and fail.” His deep voice was quiet and husky, and it broke her heart. As did his eyes when he looked up at her again. ” I was…. I was afraid. ”

 

“Afraid of what?” she asked gently, knowing that his admission of fear had cost him.

 

“Afraid I‘d never be – him. The John you loved, the one you wanted. Afraid…..that you wouldn’t want me. Why would you? I mean, look at you. A successful, well respected, accomplished psychiatrist. You’re smart, you’re classy, you’re gorgeous, you could have any man you wanted. Why would you choose to saddle yourself with a ’damaged’ husband who wouldn’t have even remembered his own name if you hadn’t told him! What the hell kind of life is that for someone like you?” John grumbled looking down, wary to meet her eyes.

 

Marlena was speechless. John was so ‘in control’ and so adamant about not being under Stefano’s thumb any longer. Never had she imagined that such a big part of John’s reluctance to explore his past, was not so much a fear of not being able to live up to the expectations of others – as it was of being afraid of not measuring up to his own expectations.

 

“Stop.” she said. When he lifted his head and it looked as though he was about to argue with her, she placed a hand over his mouth to halt any further speech. “No, just stop! I never want to hear that kind of talk from you again. Do you understand me? Never!” she said emphatically.

 

“In case you need me to remind you -once more, YOU are my husband. You are the man I vowed to love, and to honor; in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I very much intend to live up to those vows John. “ She moved her hand from his mouth, and caressed his cheek, her palm tingling at the hint of whiskers along his jaw.

 

He grinned, and shook his head. “Stubborn woman.”

 

“Damn right.” she agreed, with a nod of her head, and a little chuckle to lighten his mood.

 

He looked down at his hands as he unconsciously rubbed his palms together, in a gesture that Marlena recognized so well. “Memories…” he chuckled “… or a lack of memories, can be a real bitch, ya know.”

 

Marlena smiled at him, and as usual, when she did, he felt a little lighter, a little more positive, a little more hopeful that things were going to be OK. She was so serious, yet so gentle as she shook her head and spoke to him.

 

“Memories, are what make us who we are, John. They are what defines us, what encourages us. And one memory, will lead to another, and then to another. “

 

Marlena refused to let him dismiss his achievement, and pressed on.

 

“You must trust me when I say, that what you accomplished today, was no small feat. Recalling something the way you did, takes some people months and months of intense therapy.”

 

John smirked. “Well, I am the proverbial blank slate, aren’t I? I mean, most people don’t have the bizarre luxury of having had their brains dry-cleaned by a psychopath.”

 

“No, they don’t. Which is all the more reason for you to understand that what you’ve remembered is substantial, and it is significant. I will not allow you to take it lightly.” she stressed. Marlena could see how this latest turn of events had tired him. But John had mentioned ‘seeing’ her twice, hadn’t he. Hmmm. She needed to act on that while his mind was still open, still somewhat receptive. “John?” she asked gently. “You said earlier that you saw me. Twice. Do you remember the other time, that you ‘saw’ me?”

 

John looked at her, and like a light bulb that had been switched on in his brain, John absorbed the scene before him. This time without argument, and without much effort, he simply let his mind drift back. He saw her face before him, and then something somewhere slid backwards in time and the images drizzled back into place. She was rumpled, and tousled and sexy, and her lips were pink and plump from his kisses. Damn, she was hot.

 

He blinked rapidly again, and Marlena saw something she thought might have been fear cross his face. She rested her hand on his shoulder and spoke quietly. “It’s all right John. Just relax, and let it come back to you. It’s there for you….the memory is right there. ” she coached.

 

“Concentrate on your breathing, and just relax…just let it come back…”

 

John’s voice seemed to come from miles away, as his mind sped back thru the years. “You and I were….lying on the floor…in front of a fireplace…..”

 

Marlena heart began to race again, as she searched her own catalog of memories. A hundred instances rushed into her head, but among them all, one magnificent night stood out. Could it be?

 

John continued, his thoughts still disjointed, but the images in his mind so focused, so clear.

 

“We’d had se…..” he began, then corrected himself as he caught her eye – ” we made love, in front of the fireplace. You were….” John’s eyes frantically searched the room, and Marlena wondered what he was looking for. Less than 5 seconds later, her throat clogged as John reached to the forgotten tray of desserts on the nightstand and dipped his index finger in the whipped cream that had been piled on top of the parfait glass full of chocolate mousse. He wasn’t sure why he was doing it, even as the snapshots in his mind swam in and out of order, confusing him. He turned back to her, with his hand held out before him, and tried to blink the image back into focus, as Marlena silently encouraged him in that maddeningly unerring way she had.

 

“It’s ok, John. Just, um…take your time, you’re doing …” she tried swallowing past the lump in her throat “… your doing wonderfully. ” Marlena wondered again if the night John was remembering was the same one that had burned itself into her mind 2 decades ago.

 

It seemed like it had been a thousand years ago – and yet, it seemed like yesterday. They thought he was Roman Brady. They’d been convinced of it, and the love they felt for one another was so powerful and so blinding it never occurred to either of them that it wasn’t true. They were married, devoted, completely committed to one another, without so much as a thought -or a care, that it had been Stefano’s machinations had brought them together.

 

“Oh my gosh…” she breathed quietly.    John blinked at her, his eyes wide and searching. “You know, don’t you.” It wasn’t exactly a question. When she didn’t respond, he asked, ‘Do you remember…. what I’m thinking of?” he asked.

 

Marlena nodded slowly. “Yes. I think I do. And so do you.” she prodded, hoping against hope that John’s mind would allow the memory to play out. Marlena breathed deeply. Her memory of that night was still so potent, she could still feel the heat of the fire at her back, smell the tangy smoke from the wood as the logs popped and crackled in the hearth, and even hear the soft rustle of  their bodies shifting and undulating against one another under the soft pink sheets they’d yanked from the bed.

 

On auto-pilot, John brought his finger up to her mouth, and dabbed her bottom lip with the whipped cream, leaving a tiny dollop of the sweet confection. Seeing his confusion, Marlena decided to offer him just the tiniest bit of aid. She caught his eyes, and held his gaze as she slowly, sensuously licked the cream from her lip, pleased when she saw the flash of recognition in John’s blue gaze, as he hungrily and somewhat jealously, watched her tongue slide across her bottom lip and lap away the cream.

 

Marlena decided to test the waters a bit further, and wrapped her hands gently around his fist, still poised with his index finger covered with whipped cream. Leveling her gaze once again on his, Marlena tilted her head, and guided John’s extended finger to her mouth. She took a single teasing swipe from the tip of his finger, before pulling it deep into her mouth, and sucking the sweet cream from his skin. She could feel his sharp intake of breath, as dipped her head again, and swirled her tongue around the thick finger in her mouth, pulling tightly, causing even more tantalizing suction.

 

She watched John’s eyes go hazy at the sensual pleasure and made a small groan of contentment low in her throat that John felt zing straight to his dick. When she lifted her head again, she wore another of those, sexy little ‘I’ve-got-a-secret’ kinda smiles, and John was almost tempted to ask her what the hell she found so amusing, until he realized- he really didn’t give a shit. The thrill he felt course through his bloodstream every time she looked at him like that was worth any price.

 

John sat, dumbfounded, perfectly willing to let Marlena continue. And continue she did.

 

Apparently not done with her little experiment, John watched in silent fascination, as Marlena reached over him and took her time contemplating the dessert tray. She selected a ripe, ruby colored  strawberry from the top of a tart piled high with fresh berries of all kinds and brought the morsel back to his lips.

 

Without either of them speaking a word, she offered it to him, touching the berry to his bottom lip, until he opened his mouth wide enough for her to slide the juicy fruit inside. She watched the play of muscles along his neck, as he chewed and swallowed, as she contemplated her next move. Smiling at him again, she saw John’s chest expand as he pulled a deep breath into his lungs, and watched with limited patience as she leaned across him once again, and reached for the tray. Just before she made a selection, she looked at John coyly over her shoulder, smiled at him, and gave him another of those deliciously sinful ‘yummy’ groans that made him feel like she wanted to devour him in a single gulp. Which, in case anyone was interested, was just fine with him.

 

Marlena decided to gamble and throw caution to the wind. She sent up a quick and silent prayer that she was doing the right thing in trying to nudge John’s memory along, so she took a page from their own history book, and plunged forward. When Marlena pulled back, John glanced down and saw the she hadn’t opted for a piece of fruit this time. Now, she had scooped up a healthy dollop of whipped cream…on her fingers.

 

Looking up at him, her eyes clouded over as the past and the present seemed to blur into one sexy image, and, scooting closer to him, she held her hand close to his mouth until he spread his lips. She gently fed him the whipped cream, and then slowly smeared the remains haphazardly around his mouth.

 

For the briefest second John was surprised and a bit annoyed at her carelessness, until she leaned in closer, the hardened points of her nipples rubbing against his chest,  and fogged his brain completely by extending that pretty pink tongue of hers, tilting her head to the side, and licking the damn whipped cream right off his mouth like some sexy, hungry little kitten.

 

The groan came from somewhere deep in his stomach,  and his breath heaved at the sensations she aroused in him, as she licked him. The touch of her tongue across his lips sent shivers of pleasure through him, like a jolts of pure electricity, until the cream was gone and all that was left was the warmth and the sweetness of her mouth, sucking at his. Even as his body reacted and responded to the heat of her kiss, his tortured and jumbled mind somehow slammed into reverse and all the fleeting, mixed-up pictures in his head, righted themselves into crystal clarity, and absolute order.

 

He closed his eyes, and enjoyed the delicious slide of her tongue against his, and suddenly behind his eyelids, Blondie seemed to morph into her former self – slightly younger, slightly blonder, but still as sexy as ever, as she took great pleasure in performing the same task on him, until neither of them could stand to be apart, even by the few inches that separated them. John had the most intoxicating flash of Marlena boldly  mounting him and sealing her mouth over his, even as he wrapped her tightly in his arms, and let his painfully hard cock surge deep inside her once again, into her wet, waiting heat.

 

In the next instant, John was blasted back to the present in a blinding rush, as he grabbed Marlena by the shoulders, breaking the kiss, and holding her stunned before him.  His breathing was ragged at best, as was hers, but the revelation was extraordinary.

 

“I remember!” he said in awe, not even trying to hide the grin that split his face .

 

” Holy shit, I …..” he looked up at her, pleased to see the smile on her face, and the tears that sparkled in her eyes.

 

When he inclined his head searching for confirmation, she just reached out and cupped a hand to his cheek, encouraging him to continue. “Tell me. ” she said gently.

 

“We were……home.” he said carefully.

 

“Our home. Right?”

 

Marlena nodded, and waited with a racing heartbeat for him to continue.

 

John wriggled around on the bed, hoisting himself to sit up straighter, as if that would help him organized his thoughts, then he blinked several times, as he tried to make some order out of the pictures flipping through his mind. He didn’t know how accurate he was,  and spoke randomly.

 

“I remember music….the radio was playing…. something slow and sexy…..” he began, as Marlena nodded silently.

 

” And you and I, we…..we made love. Right there. In front of the fire ?” Again he was encouraged when Marlena merely nodded in agreement, confirming his recollection. ” We laid there for hours….just, talking and laughing. Touching one another, and …” he stroked his finger down that adorable little dip in her chin, making her smile again, “….and tasting one another. Loving one another. All night.” he said with a touch of wonder in his voice, remembering being completely content to simply BE with her, to hold her in his arms.

 

“We drank wine, and you….you fed me strawberries- and whipped cream.”

 

Marlena crawled closer to him, sniffed away a tear and nodded again. “And you did the same for me.” Marlena’s heart did another little flip, when John reached out and tugged at a lock of hair, rubbing the silky strands between his fingers.

 

“We just held each other, and watched the fire. I can’t believe-  I remember!” he said, amazed at himself. “It’s….it’s clear now, and it’s staying.” he said closing his eyes for a second or two, then opening them to look at her – seeing her confusion at what he’d said. He explained. “What I mean is, the ….memory. It’s staying now, I can see it. It’s not like before….it’s not just a flash that disappears. I can remember that night. I can remember laying with you, wrapped around one another… for hours….until the fire died.” he grinned at the memory. “Once the fire was out…..” he looked at her again, enjoying the surprised anticipation on her face as she waited to see if he remembered more. “…I carried you upstairs …to bed.” he said rather proudly.

 

Marlena leaned forward and kissed his smiling mouth. ” And you made love to me again. ” she said, sliding her lips across his cheek, nibbling her way to his ear, where she whispered. “And again.”    John wrapped a strong arm around her and brought her body in line with his.  “Couldn’t get enough of me, huh?” he teased.

 

Marlena’s laugh warmed his neck as she snaked an arm around him, so utterly thrilled at his light, happy mood.  “Some things never do change.“ she said huskily. “We were married then, and we were so happy. Just being together, being a family, raising the twins and Carrie.” As she spoke Marlena felt John stiffen beside her, and pulled back; concerned, to look at him. “What?”

 

His face was hard, his mouth set in a thin line. “You and Roman were married.” he said.  The name sounding bitter and distasteful as it slipped from his lips, as he stared once again out the window into the darkened woods beyond the glass.

 

Marlena’s hand came from out of nowhere to grip his chin and yank his gaze to hers roughly, surprising him. “WE were married. You and I. I don’t give a damn what we thought your name was at the time.” she told him adamantly.

 

“You may not remember it yet, but you will. All those years ago John, we stood in the church and spoke marriage vows in front of our friends and our families- and God. I gave myself to YOU. No one else, just you.”

 

“But it was Roman’s friends….Roman’s family though. Aw shit, it’s all such a big fucking mess Blondie…” John began.

 

“No! You know what? It’s not John. It’s the reason we’re here today. ” she said emphatically.

 

“Stefano may have been what brought us together, but our love is what kept us together.” She tugged at his chin again, making absolutely certain he heard her.

 

“I told you, no matter what he’s ever thrown in our path, we have prevailed. Our love has defeated him at every turn, and it always will.” She cupped his face in her hands, and made sure he understood that she was leaving no room for argument. ” I belong to you. In my heart and in my soul. And you to me. Make NO mistake about that John.”

 

John chuckled at his little warrior wife. “OK, OK settle down, Blondie. No need to get all worked up. Not that I mind you being….’all worked up'”. he teased. “Cause, that’s a hell of a sight to see.“ He cupped the back of her head in his big palm and pulled her face close to kiss her hard on the mouth before tugging her back against him, with her head nestled on his shoulder, a spot he was becoming very fond of it being. “Come here.”

 

They lay like that for a while, enjoying the silence, and listening to the dull drone of the crickets outside, and the last crackles of the fire exhausting itself in the hearth in the sitting room. John’s fingers idly sifted through her hair,  fanning the golden strands across the gentle curve of her shoulder, until his deep, quiet voice broke the silence. “I remember you calling me Roman.” he said. “It….it feels weird. To think of myself as…Roman Brady.”

 

She turned her head quickly into his chest, kissing him only lightly, yet still causing a rush through her system at the feel of his skin beneath her lips. “It was ….” Marlena struggled for the right words, “a confusing time. For all of us. Not just you and I, but the children, and the family. But John, the Brady’s opened their hearts to you, even as John Black.

 

They are good people John. They accepted you as their son, even after we discovered Roman hadn’t been killed all those years ago. To this day,  their feelings for you have never changed.”

 

John nodded. “Hmmm.” He let his hand trail under the sheet and slowly followed the little bumps in her spine down to the sweet swell of her ass, as she sighed against him. Not that he wouldn’t love another round of hot, sweaty sex, but he was actually starting to enjoy just lying with her trim little body all curled up against him so warm and trusting. He turned and kissed her forehead. “Been a hell of a day Blondie. What do you say we table all discussions till tomorrow.”

 

“Mmmmm. That’s sounds like an excellent idea.” she moaned, the exhaustion evident in her voice.

 

“Why don’t you turn down that light, ” he said nodding to the lamp on her side of the bed, “and I’ll take care of this one, and we’ll get some shut-eye?”

 

Marlena sighed, tipped her head up and nipped the underside of his chin. “OK”. she said and moved out of his arms, to reach to shut off the light, just as John moved in the other direction.

 

He pushed the forgotten tray of desserts out of the way toward the back of the nightstand with a chuckle, pulled the little chain on the lamp to douse light, and then swept a few of those useless, frilly, ‘just-for-show’ pillows to the floor. When he turned back, she was just looking at him, the corners of her lips tilting up just enough to qualify it as a smile. “What? Was I supposed to put those damn things somewhere special?” he asked with a grimace, as his eyes adjusted to the darkness.

 

Marlena just shook her head. “No, you goof. It just feels so good, to look across the bed and see you lying next to me.” she said seriously.

 

Even in the dim light, John could see her eyes shiny with tears.

 

He reached out his arm, inviting her to assume her position against his chest, and chuckled. “Oh come on sweetheart. No more tears. Let’s just, take it as it comes, OK?”

 

Immediately grateful, Marlena laid her head once again on his shoulder, and let events of the day slide away, as she concentrated on John, and herself. How damn fortunate were they that once again, Stefano’s plan backfired, and his little hospital stunt had not driven her and John further apart after all, but had forged within them, yet another unbreakable bond. This is what she’d prayed for. What she’d longed for. She placed her lips on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath.

 

John was quiet for a while, then – “Blondie? What about hypnosis. I know you tried before and we got nothing. But seeing as how I… remembered some of…our past, do you think you could manage to dig anything else out of here now?” he said tapping his temple with the tip of his index finger.

 

Marlena hadn’t really considered it in so long, but after tonight’s revelations, and knowing how such a big part of their success years ago in discovering his past memories had relied so heavily on information gleaned from their hypnosis sessions, Marlena would be a fool to rule it out. But she couldn’t think about it now.

 

She was still a little fuzzy from the residual effects of the drugs in her system,  and physically exhausted from the events of the last few days, and she needed a clear head to process everything they’d been through , to come up with a strategy for their next move. She was definitely not going to risk  leading John into a hypnosis session that could have adverse effects of his recollection of his previous life, especially after the strain of the memories he had recovered…and retained tonight. “It might be a good idea.” she said non-committally. “Let’s see how you feel in the morning, and we’ll take things one step at a time, all right?”

 

“One step at a time. Sounds like a plan to me. Get some sleep.” he said quietly.

 

He’d been through his own brand of hell thanks to Stefano’s recent antics, and he was so keyed up over what he’d remembered,  Marlena didn’t know if he’d be able to relax and open his mind just enough to simply let nature take its course. She felt confident that with a little support from her, and John’s own unconscious consent to delve into his past, he’d make great strides in discovering the real John Black. But not until they both got a good nights sleep.

 

“Night Blondie.” he said as the exhaustion began to overtake him.

 

Tomorrow was another day, and together, they’d have all the time in the world to put the pieces back together. Marlena had no doubt about that. “Good night, my love.” she sighed happily against him, as she fell almost immediately asleep, but not before she felt his smiling lips brush her forehead one last time .

 

 

Chapter 7

 

Tomorrow was another day, and together, they’d have all the time in the world to put the pieces back together. Marlena had no doubt about that. “Oooh.” she exhaled a deep calming breath. “Good night, my love.” she sighed happily against him, and fell almost immediately asleep, but not before she felt his smiling lips brush her forehead one last time .

********************************

 

Marlena lay curled on her side, under the soft bedding, her hands bunched beneath her pillow. The blinds neither of them had cared to close the night before let in the dull gray

light of the early morning, and ushered in a new day. Marlena felt a slight rush of cool air along the bare skin of her back as the comforter was lifted briefly, and it roused her from the cocoon of sleep, but before she had time to focus on the chill, it was replaced by the strong, solid warmth she knew- was John. He slid under the sheets and curled up behind her, and perfectly spooned her naked form, his body heat seeping into her bones in the blink of an eye, and his impressive morning erection nestled happily between the cheeks of her ass.

 

Out of sheer instinct she wriggled back against him, setting off tremors of excitement through them both, as she got close enough so that not even a breath separated their bodies. She felt one of John’s arms slide under the pillow beneath her head, only to

emerge in the perfect position to circle around her and gently cup her breast, the nipple of which sprang to immediate attention in his palm, while his other hand slid slowly up a long, trim thigh to the curves of that perfect derriere, only to reverse direction, and return on its downward path again, leaving her skin sizzling in its wake. She moaned low in her throat as her nerve endings came alive.

 

Her body was hot, and getting hotter, and her breathing was deeper and faster letting John know for sure that she was wide awake – not that the insistent wiggling of her tight

little tush against his dick had managed to escaped his attention. John nudged soft tangles of silky hair aside with the tip of his nose, and opened his mouth on the warm, sweet skin of her neck, nipping her gently with his teeth. Christ, she tasted good! He felt her reach back over his hip, trying to pull him even closer to her, and sank her nails into his ass .  Horny little minx! The scratch of her fingers across his flanks sent such a jolt up his spine, that his teeth clamped down on the patch of skin beneath his lips, and he

accidentally bit her- with quite a bit more force than he would ever have intended to, making her gasp. He knew – even though he couldn’t honestly say he was sorry about it, she’d probably be pissed at him for ‘marking’ her. A sly, somewhat proprietary grin spread quickly across his mind at the thought. He knew there was no way she wouldn’t have a hell of a hickey after a love bite like that, and he steeled himself for her wrath. He only hoped he hadn’t hurt her.

 

But instead of the sounds of pain or annoyance that he’d expected, Blondie gifted him with another one of those panting, sexy, breathy little moans that seemed to bubble up from deep inside her. It shot his temperature up about 20 degrees, and further hardened his dick to the consistency of concrete.

 

He soothed the spot on her neck that he’d bitten with gentle laps of his tongue, and was utterly delighted when, not only did she NOT give him grief, but she tilted her head

forward a little further- allowing him even greater access to her neck. “How, mmmm …..how the hell….do you….mmmm” he murmured. “Your always….so… fucking… sweet” he breathed against her as he licked her, feeling her chuckle low in her throat. “Mmmm, amazing….”

 

Oh my goodness, Marlena thought, as her mind seemed to pulse with light and color, as John worked his magic on her with his mouth. How utterly wonderful was it to wake up

like this again after so many months of missing his very presence close to her at the start of each new day? The last year had shown her that there was almost nothing in the world she needed or desired more than this magnificent man by her side.

 

She stretched back, shifting her grip from his lower body to the back of his head, where she grabbed a fistful of his short dark hair and held on tight, keeping his face buried in the crook of her neck, and his mouth hot and wet on her, and thoroughly enjoyed the shivers he sent racing through her body, straight to her soul. “Mmmm….do it. ” she gasped, then sucked in a breath. “That feels …..so good John. Oooh, you …. you feel…. so good…” she moaned quietly.

 

When John lifted his head to look down at her, his mouth immediately felt cold after the heat of her skin, and it immediately made him long for her under his lips once again. He

nipped along her jaw, her cheek and flicked her earlobe with the tip of his tongue. Anything for the taste of her. “You know something Sweetheart?” he said with a little bump of his groin against her. ‘A man could get….hmmm. “ he paused, then re-phrased his statement, and stressed, ‘

 

I …. I could get very used to starting my days like this. ” he gasped, as her fist in his hair tightened and pulled him down to her neck again, where he hungrily licked and kissed some more. “Damn….” he murmured. “ Glad I’m not the only one who wakes up horny in the morning.”

 

“Don’t stop touching me. Oh John, I’ve missed this so much!” she cried out as his

teeth scraped over that sensitive spot just under her ear, sending another jolt of fire through her. “I’ve missed feeling your hands on my body, having your mouth on me….just having you with me.”  John agreed with her by way of a hungry groan deep in his throat.

 

“Oh John. You

feel so…..so hot and hard next to me. Mmmm. !” Without breaking the

contact of their lower bodies, she twisted her head around and leaned back

locking her eyes on his, a millisecond before meeting his mouth, in a wet,

breathy tangle of tongues and teeth.

 

John could barely

comprehend this sudden need he had for her, and that’s what it was. A ‘need’.

Pure and powerful. How had he gone from simple desire and basic lust to craving

her so desperately? Needing the smell of her in the air around him, the taste

of her still fresh on his tongue, and the unquenchable demand that seemed to

exist now to be inside her, joined with her in the most elemental way.

 

This was more than

sex, he knew, even from his rather limited recollection of the act. He needed

this woman almost as much as he needed to breathe. It boggled his mind, and at

the same time- it lightened his heart. He almost smiled because it seemed that

once again, she’d been right all along.

 

He remembered that day

in the hospital, after she’s all but broken him out of Stefano’s torture

chamber of a lab. He’d woken, frantic, restrained, and supremely pissed off…

and there she was, right beside him. Blondie.

 

Exhausted as she must

have been, she had nodded off at his bedside, her head resting trustingly

beside his thigh, her hand laid protectively on the wrist those asshole cops

had handcuffed to the rail. She tried then to explain it to him, that special

‘connection’ they had between them. A ‘look’, she’d said. “You look over

at me , and everyone else in the room may as well be on another planet”.

 

Well, he thought. How

do you like that? Of course, at the time, he was convinced she was full of

shit. He’d still been Stefano’s single minded robot back then. But no more. Thanks to her.

 

Without ever lifting

his lips from hers, he slid his hand down over her hip again, and inching down,

and splayed his open palm low on her belly. He could feel the seductive heat

pulsing from her core, and dipped down further to investigate, delighted beyond

measure to find her already wet. Sliding his fingers teasingly along her

slippery folds, he broke the kiss for only a fraction of a second to whisper

against her lips, “Marlena?”

 

The need in his voice was evident, as his body and his soul desperately begged her permission. When she could only breathe his name in gasping agreement into his own mouth, John knew he was a goner. Not just here and now, in this bed- but here, in this

life. He’d never let her go. He couldn’t.

 

If he’d felt oddly protective about her before, whether it was out of some sense of duty for the woman he knew to be his wife, or out of loyalty for how she’d stuck her neck

out to avenge what Stefano had done to him, now he knew he would go to the ends

of the Earth for her. She touched something inside him. Something deep and ingrained, something that even Dr. Rolfe’s maniacal brainwashing skills hadn’t managed to eradicate. She was his.

 

Keeping her held tightly against him, his hand slid down along the hot, smooth skin of her thigh, grabbed at the crook of her bent knee, and lifted her leg up and back across his hip, opening her perfectly to him. She was grinding back against his body, desperately seeking the contact she knew was imminent. His cock seemed to need no further instructions from his brain as his body homed in on hers, and he slid up and inside her hot, wet heat, in one long, tormentingly slow motion, that damn near took his breath away. Jesus!

 

Marlena pulled in a choking sigh as John filled her as only he could, her body felt infused with the energy that pulsed around them. “Mmmmm, John…” his name came

out like a broken moan as everything about him seemed to surround her. The intense heat of his body, the musky smell of their shared desire, and the feeling of protection and utter peace that engulfed her as he became of part of her, his body buried deep inside hers. As it should be.

 

John threw his head back as the gripping pressure of her inner walls tightened like a vise around him. “God dammit, you’re ….oh Jesus,” he growled. ‘… you feel unbelievable!” he marveled. The hand that was still warm from cupping her breast, released the firm globe of flesh, only to slide out along the mattress and find her hand- fisting a handful of the soft cotton sheets. Prying her fingers open to release the twisted material, he flattened his palm against hers, laced their fingers together, and held onto her tightly, while his hips slammed repeatedly up into her.

 

His other hand circled back around her writhing body, pressing her to him, and his fingers resumed their previous position stroking a tantalizing rhythm across her throbbing clit. The feeling of his cock sliding in and out of her wetness teased the very

tips of his fingers, and the sensations of being inside her, surrounded by the heat of their passion sent tremors through them both as John angled his hips back sliding almost completely out of her pussy, only to surge forward once more and plunge deep inside. He couldn’t hold out much longer, he thought as he stilled for a few seconds, and felt the sweet pressure, as her body held him captive. He surged forward again, filling her completely.

 

Her breath exploded from her lungs as her body responded to his, setting a dizzying pace.

 

“Oh…. God!” she cried out. “I love it …when you… do that!” Using his hard body for leverage, she pushed herself down against John’s increasingly strong upward thrusts, even as her back remained plastered against his chest. She swore she could feel the pounding of his heart against her back, as she begged, “Give me… more John. More … Oh….oh shiiiit.” She groaned as the sensations washed over her in hot waves. No

man had ever made her feel the way John did. Not ever. And no man ever could.

And it wasn’t just sex – although the sex was obviously spectacular. No. This was more than physical….this was so much more.

 

“Oh…. holy…..oh baby…. Mar-lena…..” he ground out, between clenched teeth, as her body spurred an even greater degree of desire in him than he thought he was capable

1. Marlena’s mind spun out of control. John had explained the effect they had on one another best so many, many years ago. He said they were soul mates. Joined on some higher level, something that far outshone mere physical intimacy. John was her other

half. Her best friend, and her partner. Her mate, in every way that existed. He had mastered her body, he completed her heart, and he had touched her very soul. Life without him was….well, there was no life without him. She’d learned that the hard way. And from this second forward, she would do anything and everything in her power to make sure that they spent the rest of their lives together, with no one controlling their destiny but one another.

 

Marlena felt nearly suffocated by the emotions that pummeled her. She’d always been amazed at how, even after all the years they’d loved one another, every time they made love, it seemed better and more intense than the time before. How did that happen?

 

Throughout her career, she’d listened to her patients talk about the evolutions of their marriages, about how their wives or their husbands had lost interest in passion and in

intimacy, thereby losing interest in sex all together. Things couldn’t have been more opposite when it came to her and John. Maybe it was because they were so perfectly attuned to one another; both mentally and physically. Even in the midst of frenzied, mind-blowing sex, Marlena could read him like a book. She could feel the changes in his body as the movement of his hips slowed to deeper, and more decisive thrusts, as his body tightened and hardened inside her, pushing her senses to the very edge of fulfillment.

 

John’s fingers stilled over her swollen clit, urging her to just the brink of insanity with him before stopping to draw out the pleasure. “Oh yeah.” his voice growled. “Your gonna come for me aren’t you Marlena? Oh yesssss.” he hissed. “Do it, come on, Sweetheart.” he breathed hotly into her ear, urging her face back to his with his chin, even as his hips picked up speed.

 

“You’re so …fucking …hot …when you… come apart ….all…around…me.” John peppered his language with almost vicious slams of his hips.

 

Marlena could feel the orgasm cresting, and fought to keep her senses, when she might have otherwise simply given in and let the waves of sensation beat over her and carry her away in its wake. Arching her neck back, she caught the deep cobalt gaze that saw into her soul. “I…love…you! Oh Goddddd! I love…” she all but sobbed, as her body began the tremors that he knew would shatter her into a billion pieces in his arms.

 

“John ……oh- my – llllove…….Oh YES!” She wailed his name, even as her body shook, it gripped him inside her as if she’d never let him go.

 

His hips slammed

deliciously up into her from behind, drawing out every ounce of pleasure. The backs of her thighs felt hyper-sensitive from the frantic rubbing of John’s hairier ones against them as they moved together. Pre-occupied with the delicious beginning of the orgasm that was about to break over her, Marlena’s eyes practically rolled back in her head as the passion became almost too much to bear. Then, suddenly, John’s hand, that has been massaging her, shifted to practically cup her, effectively trapping the aching little bud of her clit between his first and his middle fingers …. and squeezed. Marlena thought her body would shoot off the bed – and it probably would have, were it not for the fact that John still held her -plastered to his chest, as a second orgasm slammed

into her with an intensity that stunned her.

 

Knowing the touch of his hand could send her into such a frenzy of jerking spasms, as the orgasms slid – one right on top of the other, and took control of her body, John kept

the pressure on her clit steady, and knew enough of his wife by now to know that when she came, she would certainly pull him into the abyss with her. Sure enough , in no more than the span of a heartbeat, John felt her inner muscles constrict in throbbing pulses around his cock, as she milked him like an iron fist. He felt her body begin to tremble uncontrollably, and his name exploded from her lungs. He had only had a second or two to relish the sheer masculine joy of knowing he’d brought her to such incredible heights of pleasure, before she drug him with her into sheer oblivion.

 

His hips jack-knifed hard up into her, the unbelievable tightness of her body making it nearly impossible for him to even move, as his own orgasm hit him like a freight train, and set off what felt like a million tiny electrical charges inside him that ignited simultaneously as he came with a euphoric rush, and emptied himself inside her, with pump after pump of his hips, moaning her name like a mantra, over and over.

 

Their ragged breathing was the only sound in the room for several minutes, as John pushed the now suffocating quilt the rest of the way past their waists and kicked it down

toward to foot of  the bed. He collapsed backwards pulling Marlena back with him , till they both lie flat on their backs, with Blondie keeping her head resting on his forearm. He turned his head, and admired her once again. Her body was limp and spent, yet she seemed to glow with life.

 

Eyes closed, and still gulping air, her body glistened with a light sheen of perspiration, and the healthy flush of great sex that made her look like an angel. John grinned a

purely ‘male’ smile of appreciation as he looked at her from head to toe, and back again. Using more energy than he thought he even possessed at the moment, he reached over and lifted a slightly sweat dampened curl from her forehead and smoothed it over the crown of her head. Then, unable and unwilling to stop himself, he let his hand trail leisurely down her torso to caress that magnificent body with just a feather light touch of his fingertips. She looked so satisfied, and so damn sexy, he just couldn’t help but touch her. “This – is nice.” he said simply, surprising even himself.

 

“Nice?” Marlena chuckled, her laughter causing gentle ripples of movement across her now exposed breasts. “Nice?”

 

John grinned and nodded. “Good point. This, is a whole lot better than ‘nice’.” He

rose enough to angle his body toward her, and leaned over to place a soft kiss on her lips. “Good morning Blondie.” he said quietly.

 

Wrapping her arms around his neck she tugged him down to her and sucked him into a devilishly steamy kiss. Her entire body was humming with life and energy, and her heart

beat a little faster as she relished the blissful familiarity of waking up to John. To John making love to her. Oh my, how she had ached when she thought they’d never be like this again.

 

Their tongues moved slowly around one another, drawing out the kiss. Tasting and testing. John was quickly finding that kissing this woman was not something to be rushed, but rather; it was something to savor. Her tiny moans and groans of pleasure as

their mouths sipped at one another vibrated through him, pleasing him inordinately. Pulling back to appreciate the sexy sparkle in her eyes, he chuckled and pecked the tip of her nose once more.

 

“Hell of a way to start the day, huh?” he grinned.

 

“Oh my, yes! You do have the most magnificent way of saying ‘Good morning’ Mr. Black.” She chuckled.

 

“So, you didn’t mind?” he asked amused.

 

“Did it feel like I minded?”

 

“Hell, no.” John said with that cocky grin. “Felt to me like you were…enjoying yourself. I know I sure as hell was.” When she only giggled, John shook his head in amazement, “I didn’t think being married was so….so….” he paused looking for the right word.

 

“So…?” she left the question open.

 

“So ….I don’t know….easy?“ then he looked her over once again, and grinned. “Or so

good.” he said quietly, tracing a finger along the curves of her shoulder and down her arm.

 

Marlena only smiled that dazzling grin of hers and stroked a hand along his cheek, and made him feel like a million bucks. Speaking of a million bucks…. he needed to get in

touch with some of his business contacts and run a little interference, before things got out of hand. He knew, with Stefano back in the picture, he was in for a massive power struggle and a battle of wills to retain his current control of DiMera Enterprises. Unless….

 

“So Blondie, ” he said propping himself fully on his side, elbow bent, head resting in

his hand. “What would you like to do, on this…” he looked over toward the window now streaked with raindrops, and pulled a face. “…this dreary, crappy, rainy day.”

 

Marlena looked too, the smile never leaving her face. “Well. Looks to me like the sort of day a person never wants to get out of bed.”

 

John barked out a laugh. “Ya think?” He grinned when she mimicked his pose and rolled to her side facing him, her head in her hand, propped up on her bent elbow too.

 

“You know, Dr. Carver would probably be…quite upset, at how little rest you’ve actually gotten since she released you into my care yesterday. And rightfully so.”

 

He looked stern for a moment, then gave up trying to maintain his fierce facade, and tilted his head indulgently at her. “I haven’t done a very good job of taking care of you, have I?”

 

Marlena just smiled at him. “Have you heard me complaining?”

 

“That’s not the point.” he said seriously. “You went through a very….traumatic episode , and you need to relax and regain your strength.”

 

“I am relaxed. More than I have been in a long time.” she smiled at him, touched again by how considerate he was being.

 

John actually had to try to keep his expression serious. “Good. But, does that mean you really do intend on spending the entire day in bed?” he asked, not for a minute thinking Marlena would seriously agree.

 

Marlena laughed. “Well….maybe not the entire day… but, ” she stroked a hand across

his chest, her fingers sifting thru the soft hair . “…parts of it could be extremely enjoyable – spent with the right company. ”  John nodded.

 

“Tempting Blondie, very tempting, but…” he paused as they both heard the distant ring of a cell phone, and he took a deep breath and exhaled, as if to re-align his thoughts. “I better get that.” he said rising from the bed and walking toward the door. “I made a few calls this morning already. ”

 

Marlena only nodded as John went to answer his call, pulling a pillow over her naked body since she couldn’t reach the blankets they’d kicked away earlier. She had wondered briefly what he’d been doing up so early. When he first slid back into bed,

she’d just assumed he needed to use the bathroom, which she thought now, was a pretty good idea. Then…. Oh, but then, he’d started touching her, and his body was so hot and so eager behind hers, and his hands were igniting fires all over her, and…… well, all rational thought had simply deserted her. She sighed and felt an amazing sense of peace run through her, and she smiled. Thank you God,she thought.

 

Before she could summon the energy to actually lift her head from the mattress, John walked back into the bedroom and retrieved his pants from the floor. Pulling them on

without bothering with his boxers, he yanked up the zipper, not taking time to fasten the clasp at his waist.

 

” Done. ” he said decisively.

 

“My calendar is completely clear for the next few days.” he said matter-of-factly. Then he disentangled his discarded shirts, pulled the black T-shirt over his head, and tossed the button down shirt carelessly on the bed. “I’ve alerted the staff however, to keep me

apprised of any attempts by my …brother…to wrest control of DiMera Shipping from me.”

 

Marlena’s brow crinkled. “So, you are expecting Stefano to try to pick up right where he

left off?” she asked.

 

“Well, that remains to be seen, since I have not decided exactly what I want to do yet. But it would be the most obvious assumption….that the crazy bastard thinks he can

just step back into the fray as if he hasn’t been a virtual vegetable for the last half of a year.” He looked down at her, all rumpled and tousled with deliciously creamy limbs peeking out from behind the pillow she held against herself to tease his senses, and he got that familiar tug in the pit of his stomach once again. It was as if he was remembering having seen her like this a thousand times before – which of course, he knew he had, but once again, the images were a little too fuzzy in his head to make a clear enough picture for him.

 

Shaking his head to clear away the cobwebs, he sat beside her and gave a playful little tug at the corner of the pillow she held, forcing Marlena to giggle and grip it even more

closely. ” And, I forgot to tell you; I also called down for some breakfast. I don’t know about you, but I could sure use some coffee.” The look on his face was a typical male smirk of satisfaction as he leaned back to fastened his pants before he stood up. “Not to mention some food. My wife – it seems, is a sex fiend. I need to keep up my strength.” He said with a mocking grin.

 

Holding tight to the pillow, Marlena rolled over onto her stomach and laughed into the mattress, while John enjoyed the sight of her bare behind. “Oh my gosh, maybe I am.” she mumbled.

 

At the sound of a knock on the door, John leaned over and gave into temptation and smacked her bottom lightly. “C’mon woman.” he said. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know?” With that, he turned and padded barefoot to answer the door.

 

 

Chapter 8

 

Holding tight to the pillow, Marlena rolled over onto her stomach and laughed into the mattress, while John enjoyed the sight of her bare behind. “Oh my gosh, maybe I am.” she mumbled.

 

At the sound of a knock on the door, John leaned over and gave into temptation and smacked her ass lightly. “C’mon woman.” he said. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know?” With that, he turned and padded barefoot to answer the door.

 

 

Marlena heard John in the other room , quietly and amiably speaking with whoever it was that had just brought their room service tray…and she smiled. Just the sound of his deep, serious voice calmed and re-assured her. And, the doctor in her thought, the fact that he was making small talk and engaging in simple- and hopefully friendly, conversation was a re-assuring thought as well.

 

Thankful that John had pulled the bedroom door closed behind him when he’d left, Marlena tossed the pillow aside, rolled nude from the mattress and stretched. Her body felt wonderfully loose and limber. Amazing what a day and night of passionate sex could do for a woman, she thought, allowing a small giggle to escape.

 

A dull flash of lightning followed by a distant roll of thunder didn’t even phase her. With a sexy grin, she reached for John’s shirt at the end of the bed and covered her naked body, enjoying the scent of him that surrounded her as she let the soft material envelope her, as she attempted to restore some order to the room, which look like a cyclone had blown through. His shirt was missing a few buttons, but was still somewhat wearable, and after all , they were alone, so she fastened the few tiny black buttons that remained, and bent to grab a huge armful of bedding from the floor. She mounded the discarded sheets and blankets into a huge pile at the foot of the bed, and went in search

of her own clothes.

 

She saw a puddle of pale blue material next to a small side table, and picked up what remained of her shredded blouse. Sighing – and smiling, she tossed the material into a small hammered copper waste can next to the nightstand. Her matching pants, she found wadded into a ball on the other side of the bed, and quickly gave up trying to press the creases out of the hopelessly wrinkled material with her palms. She folded the slacks and laid them on the mattress and looked around again, searching for her underwear, and managed to locate her bra, but found no sign of her panties. ‘Oh, man! …’ she thought. ‘They must be tangled up in the covers somewhere.’ She couldn’t risk a chamber maid finding them; that would be much too humiliating.

 

With a deep sigh, she looked at the huge pile of bed linens, and decided that she needed a hot cup of coffee to fortify her before she began that particular search. A hot shower would be next on the list, she thought with a smile.

 

Hearing the suite door close, she assumed John had dealt with room service, so she decided to venture out to the other room as she was, since they were alone once again. The hem of John’s shirt hit her at about mid thigh, so she figured she’d be decent…or as decent as she could be without a stitch of underwear on. She had just touched her fingertips to the doorknob when she heard – even through the walls, a shrill, piercing scream calling her name – and froze at the sound of a familiar voice.

 

Oh. Dear. God. Was that…….Sami?

 

Then, fierce pounding on the outer door to the suite immediately followed, and Marlena flinched, realizing her daughters grating voice and incessant banging had to be able to have been heard throughout the entire Inn as she shouted for her mother and screeched at John to ‘Open up!’

 

Marlena ran back to the bed and tugged on the only other piece of clothing available…her wrinkled slacks. She fastened them quickly, then grabbed the tails of John’s shirt, knotting it at her waist in an attempt to keep the shirt closed despite the missing buttons that had been ripped off in the midst of their frenzied love making the night before. She ran her fingers quickly through her hair trying to make it presentable, but knew it was basically hopeless. She raced back to the door and pulled it open just as John stepped back from the suites entrance on the opposite side of the living room,

letting in her near hysterical daughter and an embarrassed EJ who was lugging, two small matching suitcases, an overnight bag slung over one shoulder and a cumbersome looking garment bag.

 

“Mom! Mom!” she shouted over John’s shoulder as she barreled in. “What the hell have you done with my mother?! ” she demanded, approaching John and poking a finger into his chest. “Hasn’t she had enough to deal with, without you kidnapping her from the hospital?” she demanded petulantly.

 

While John had indeed made a major attitude shift in the last 48 hours, he wasn’t completely back to his old self yet, and he certainly didn’t look too thrilled about Sami’s attitude at the moment, or the proximity of her finger, which was now wagging inches from his nose. Even from opposite sides of the room, both Marlena and EJ could see John’s jaw clench, and the vein at his temple begin to throb.

 

NOT a good sign.

 

“Samantha! ” Marlena said , as she walked quickly into the sitting room. Almost immediately she could feel the heat of John’s penetrating gaze as his eyes shifted to her, and raked over her from head to toe and back, and wondered what it was that had peaked his interest. Unfortunately she didn’t have much time to wonder about it, as Sami continued to stir herself into her usual frenzy.

 

Seeing her mother emerging from the bedroom, Sami shifted direction, and rushed over to Marlena so fast she almost knocked her down. “Mom! Oh God, I was SO scared.” she wailed dramatically, hugging her mother too tightly, and speaking too loudly. “What is going on? Why aren’t you at the hospital? Why the hell did Lexi let you come home? You can’t possibly be fully recovered yet, can you? I can’t believe….”

 

Marlena held up her hand and placed it over Sami’s constantly moving mouth to quiet her non-stop chatter. “Sami! Sami! Please! Calm down! And for goodness sake, lower your voice. You’ve probably awakened the entire Inn!”

 

“Your mother has a point, Samantha. You do realize how early in the

morning it is, don’t you?” EJ mumbled shaking his head sadly, as Sami took

a breath, only to continue her rant.

 

Sami, in her usual steamroller manner, pressed on talking right over both EJ and her mother, in breakneck speed. “Mom you have NO idea how terrified I was when John called to say you were here! I thought you were safe at the hospital, not wandering around the Salem Inn where Stefano could find you .” Sami whirled around and stalked over to John again. “And you! What the hell did you think you were doing- taking my mother?! “she demanded.

 

John raised an eyebrow in irritation, but didn’t speak.

 

“Sami, listen to me, please honey. I’m fine, John and I …” Marlena began, but Sami kept at John.

 

“You know she should be in the hospital. Far away from your twisted brother…”

 

John held his annoyance and his impatience in check, and simply stared that blank stare as Sami continued on her non-stop tirade.

 

“Samantha, perhaps you could give them a chance to explain?” EJ tried in his calm English voice, attempting once again to speak.

 

“…and yet you…you kidnapped her and took her away, and you have her hidden here….” Sami pressed on loudly as if no one else had spoken. She spun on her heel and headed back to Marlena.

 

“Samantha Gene Brady, will you please lower your voice and calm down…. ” Marlena began again.

 

“What did he think he was doing any way, taking you from hospital, holding you here…” ignoring her, Sami pressed on.

 

“Enough!” John said loudly, effectively pausing all conversation, as the room fell silent.

 

“John?” Marlena asked, after a minute.

 

All eyes pivoted to John, who took a breath, raised his head and gave his neck a little stretch as if he were stealing himself for the conversation ahead of him. Turning fully towards Sami he spoke, low and calm.

 

“First of all …Samantha… ” he said in that WAY he had of speaking her name that actually made Sami pause. ” I would very much appreciate it, if you would please stop interrupting your mother when she‘s speaking.” He looked over at Marlena, and crooked his head, wondering if she were going to contradict him. When she only looked at him, he continued. “And secondly, please refrain from saying that I ‘kidnapped’ her from the

hospital. I did nothing of the kind.” He walked around Sami and closed the door to the suite. “Obviously, the security at University Hospital leaves quite a bit to be desired, or my -‘brother’ could never have caused the kind of damage that he did. However. Blondie is fine, and she’s safe…here.” he said facing Marlena. “With me. ”

 

Marlena looked at John with quiet pride, then turned to her daughter. “Sami, ?John’s right. I am perfectly fine, I promise you. I am sorry that you were worried, Sweetie. ”

 

“But Mom, why…” Sami’s gaze shifted a bit as she saw John move across the room to walk up behind her mother.

 

This time it was Marlena who interrupted Sami as she continued, “I didn’t have a chance to call because we in such a rush to leave the hospital. And Sami, for heavens sake, John did not kidnap me. I asked him to bring me here. I just couldn’t imagine going back to the townhouse yet, and I wasn’t at all comfortable going to the Mansion. I’m very grateful to John for getting me out of the hospital. I couldn’t stand to lie in that bed another minute.”

 

“But Mom…” Sami started.

 

Again Marlena stopped Sami’s words with her own as she went on. “I was feeling a little…fragile yesterday, and I didn’t want to be alone. And John very gallantly offered to stay here with me… and protect me.”

 

Marlena felt John move closer behind her, and even though he didn’t touch her, he was close enough for her to feel the heat of his body against her back . Only a breath seemed to separate their bodies, and Marlena could feel that faintest crackle of electricity that sparked whenever he was near her.

 

“Well why didn’t you just ask me, Mom? I would have come and stayed with you, and…” Sami began, only to be interrupted again, this time by John.

 

“Well one would think that perhaps I …would be better equipped to protect Blondie from Stefano, than you could. Wouldn’t you agree?” he said a bit sarcastically, but in that innocently dry manner of his that seemed to drive them all a little crazy.

 

EJ made a production of coughing to cover the chuckle that burst from his mouth as he studied the carpet beneath his feet.

 

Sami shot him an evil glare, then looked back at her mother and sighed dramatically again. “I just don’t understand why you didn’t call me Mom? I mean…” she walked a step closer to her mother and lowered her voice conspiratorially. “I mean, are you sure you want to be here – with John?”

 

John leaned over Marlena’s shoulder and whispered loudly to Sami “You do realize I can hear you, don’t you Samantha?”

 

Marlena smiled at John‘s attempt at humor, and spoke to her daughter. “Sami, trust me, ok? I’m fine. And no one could protect me better than John. You know that.”

 

John chose that moment to shift his weight fully, and bring the front of his body in line with Marlena’s back, and he slowly reached around to lay a protective hand on her hip. The little shiver that shot through Marlena as John touched her was not lost on Sami, or EJ.

 

Or John.

 

Sami finally seemed to be relenting…although grudgingly. “I’m sorry Mom, but I just got really scared when John called telling me to get clothes for you, and then told us you were here. And now even though I can see that your ok….” She stepped back to look at Marlena, and seemed for the first time to notice her somewhat questionable attire. “Although , you…. do…. look…. messy. ” Sami said with her usual bluntness.

 

Marlena grimaced, a bit self-consciously, and reached to straighten her blouse. “Well, isn’t that sweet of you to say? Thank you Sami.”

 

“Samantha, ” EJ interjected, “she’s just come from a hospital – not a fashion show.”

 

“In fact, I’m thankful I had some extra things from my last trip to the dry cleaners that I’d forgotten to bring home in my office closet, but what I need now is a real shower and a fresh change of clothes. And some sleep.” she mumbled. ” I didn’t sleep a wink last night. “ she said almost as an after-thought.

 

“You look like you haven’t slept. I‘d have thought you‘d be so relieved to be out of the hospital you‘d have slept like a stone. Wonder why you didn’t?” Sami stated matter-of-factly.

 

Marlena’s head instantly filled with dozens of sexy images of her and John making love all night long, and she had to struggle to keep the grin off her face as she stammered out a response. “Yes, well….I was…uh…I imagine I was still , um…..I was still a little…um…..”

 

“Nervous about Stefano?” Sami asked, trying to be helpful.

 

“Yes!” Marlena admitted with a chuckle. “Yes, I was nervous. About Stefano.“

 

John chose that moment to clear his throat, and shot a pointed look at EJ, telling him wordlessly to wrap things up and get the hell out.

 

EJ took the hint and piped up. “Yes, well Marlena, may I say that, I’m certainly glad your feeling better. Samantha, maybe we should leave and let your mother get that rest?”

 

Sami virtually ignored EJ, and was scrutinizing her mother. She could see Marlena had no make-up on, and her hair was in desperate need of a shampoo, but there was something different about her. Something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Something had happened to her mother at the hospital. Something more than just the attack at the townhouse. Sami’s mind went into over-drive.

 

John spoke quietly to Sami from just over Marlena’s shoulder. “Elvis is correct. I think your mother needs some time to … rest and recuperate.” John took another tiny step closer to her, and placing his other hand on her opposite hip. “Stefano will get nowhere near my wife. That is a promise.“ He trusted that Sami knew him well enough by now to take him at his word, and he also somehow knew that Blondie would appreciate the silent gesture of camaraderie. He was also hoping that Sami would take the hint, and leave. The feel of her tight little bottom pressed up against him was having its usual

effect on his dick.

 

Marlena sighed. She could feel herself wanting to sag back completely against him and allow his strength to bolster her, but fought the urge to simply melt into his embrace. “John’s right, sweetie.” Marlena smiled at her daughter, and rested her hand over John‘s on her hip. “And while I appreciate the offer to stay with me, its really not necessary. Besides, Alli and Johnny need their Momma to be there for them. ” she said. “And I will be just fine, right here – with John.”

 

“Yeah, but Mom, I mean….it’s just that…I mean….” Sami was making bizarre gestures with her hands that, quite frankly, were making Marlena a bit dizzy.

 

“And besides, …” Marlena began, unsure about how to ‘break the ice’ a bit, and explain the events of the last 24 hours, until she felt John hands flex around her waist again. His closeness seemed to give her confidence and the touch of his hand gave her an added boost of encouragement. “…John has made some rather remarkable strides since yesterday. And I think we need to spend some more time together, just he and I, and continue working on these…. developments.”

 

“Developments? “ Sami asked, trying to put the pieces together. “

 

What kind of developments are you ‘working on’? Like as doctor and patient?” Sami looked at the two of them standing there, looking not at all like doctor and patient, but rather like….like….no. Couldn’t be. He was just being protective. Wasn’t he? “That is what you mean by ‘working‘, with …him, isn‘t it?” she snapped like a spoiled brat.

 

“What kind of a question is that? Why wouldn’t I work with John?” Marlena asked.

 

“Well, I mean because John is…..John is….” Sami stuttered, her eyes flicking back and forth from John to Marlena and back again, like she was watching some high-speed tennis match.

 

“John is my husband Sami. ” Marlena stated simply , finishing Sami’s sentence for her.

 

“Well, yeah, Mom, I know John is your husband, but he‘s not…..” and then the light bulb dawned.

 

” Whoa, wait! Wait a minute.” Sami said confused. “What’s going on here? Exactly?”

 

Marlena looked at her oddly. “Going on?” she asked innocently.

 

Behind her, John actually struggled to hide a grin behind Marlena’s head and shot another pointed glance over at EJ, who had been quietly assessing the odd family dynamic at work here and was grasping the situation a hell of a lot quicker than his wife was. “I need to speak with you for a minute Blondie. Over here, please?” John said, as his hands turned her body and steered her hips to the opposite side of the room, keeping her in front of him, but away from EJ and Sami.

 

EJ walked up to Sami and leaned down to speak quietly to her. “Samantha, I think we should be going, don’t you? ” Sami made some sort of snide remark about not going anywhere but, neither of them paid much attention to as they crossed the room, stopping in front of the pillow covered window seat.

 

In front of the fireplace on the opposite end of the room, John ignored EJ and Sami as they fell into their normal pattern of bickering and sniping, and turned Marlena gently around to face him, and looked her over once again from head to toe, his gaze stopping to appreciate certain spots along the way. Another odd expression crossed his face, as he lowered his voice and leaned down a bit to speak low and quiet. “I have a question I’d like answered Blondie. You said you’d answer questions, if I had them? Remember?”

 

” John, what’s going on?” Marlena began.

 

“Do you remember?” he stressed.

 

“Yes, yes, of course, I remember. ” Marlena said, a touch of fear creeping into her tone. “Are you having more of those ‘flashes’? Are you, remembering something else?’ she asked almost afraid of the answer.

 

“I’m not sure, yet. ” John said honestly.

 

“Yet?”

 

John spread his feet a little further apart, lowering his body, and bringing his head down a scant inch or two closer to hers. “So, tell me. The old…. ‘me‘ ?“ he said quietly. “Did I …” John began, leaning in to bring his lips close to her ear. “…did I used to think….” his breath warming her cheek, yet making her shiver. “…that it was unbelievably….

ridiculo usly… sexy as hell….” he paused, causing Marlena’s heart skip a beat “… when you wore my clothes?”

 

Marlena froze for a split-second, until his words registered and her brain down-shifted from panic mode, just as a wave of heat burst inside her and spread deliciously through her entire body. Now she knew what had peaked John’s interest when she’d walked in the room. Relief and delight washed through her in the span of a heartbeat.

 

Turning her head slightly, she rubbed her cheek against his lightly, and she blew a puff of warm air toward his ear before she spoke. In a low voice- for his ears only, she gave a gentle chuckle. “Mmmm. Yea, actually. You did.”

 

Keeping his voice low, he pulled back until his forehead just about touched hers, and locked dark blue eyes on hers. “That’s a relief. Because I can’ tell you…. what seeing you in my shirt…. is doing to me right now.”

 

Marlena smiled slowly, longing to kiss him. “I think I have an idea.” she said coyly, her eyes sliding down his body.

 

One side of John’s mouth hitched up into a crooked smile. “Do you really?” he said quietly determined to not let her get the better of him, and eager to tease her. “I especially like knowing that you don’t have a thing on underneath ….my shirt.”

 

Oh man. He absolutely loved watching those pretty hazel eyes swirl and deepen in color when she got aroused., and damned if she wasn’t looking at him right now with eyes that were slowly turning to color of priceless emeralds.

 

Marlena fought to hide a laugh. “Oh? And just how do you know that?”

 

His voice came out impossibly deeper, yet soft at the same time. “Because I can already tell how hard your nipples are, so I know you didn’t put on your bra – a fact for which I am very grateful, by the way.”

 

Marlena’s hands automatically reached to pull the material away from her body, but John stilled both her hands with his about waist-high between them, and continued speaking low and slow. “Don’t worry. They can’t tell – but I can.” he said softly. “ And I also know… your not wearing those pretty panties of yours either.” He extended his index finger, and stroked the tip of it along the tiny gap of exposed skin on her belly, between the catch on her slacks and the knot she’d tied in the tails of his shirt.

 

“How do you…..?” Marlena said breathlessly, suddenly feeling like all the oxygen had been sucked from the room.

 

“They’re in my pocket.” He reached a hand down to pat the slight bulge at his side, to prove he was telling the truth. He almost laughed as he watched her eyes go hazy and try to blink things back into focus, a sight he enjoyed tremendously. “You didn’t think I was gonna leave them just lying on the floor for some lovesick bellboy to stumble on, did you?”

 

Marlena flushed hotly at his words, and the sexy thoughts that ripped through her brain.

 

“Blondie?” he said bringing her back to the conversation, with a gently nudge of his nose against the softness of her cheek.

 

“Huh?” she said still off-center.

 

“Elvis and Samantha. They need to leave.” he said definitively. Then, lifting a finger to her chin, he stressed deeply, “Now. ” making her blood throb through her veins even more.

 

Marlena who was already a little out of breath, gasped at the urgency in his voice, knowing EXACTLY how he felt. “Yes. Yes, they do.” She murmured.

 

 

Luckily, after some pointless and tiresome bickering with his wife on the other side of the room, EJ had come to pretty much the same conclusion. Marlena heard EJ whisper harshly to Sami, “Are you completely dense? They want to be alone Samantha! Let‘s get out of here, please. For God‘s sake. ” before he turned toward John and Marlena. “Marlena, Samantha has brought some things from your home for you, and John, ” he said turning to his ‘uncle’, “I believe I’ve got everything you requested from the house here as well.” he said indicating the bags he’d set down by the door. “ John said you were likely to be here another few days?”

 

Marlena turned to them and straightened her shoulders, and looked surprised. “Uh, yes EJ…I think we will.” Then she turned her head to look over her shoulder at John with a small smile. “That was the phone call you said you’d made earlier?

 

John merely nodded. “One of them.” Then all eyes shifted to the knock at the door, and John released Marlena, took a deep breath to pull himself together, and moved to the front door again, this time to let in young Albert, who was once again pushing a room service cart with enough food to feed a dozen people. “And this…. was another one.” John said. “Breakfast is here Blondie! Aaahh, sensational! If you wouldn’t mind laying things out on the coffee table for us, please Albert? ” John said easily.

 

Albert was surprised to see that John and Marlena had ‘guests‘, but tried his best to hide his curiosity.

 

“Uh, sure thing Mr. Black.“ Albert’s eyes darted from EJ to Sami and back, and wondered what was going on, especially since Mr. Black had been so adamant about he and his wife having no phone calls and no interruptions, and absolutely NO visitors. But he silently wheeled the heavy cart over to the coffee table, and began unloading covered dishes. “Sorry to, uh…interrupt.” He mumbled to no one in particular. He looked up at Marlena and smiled shyly. “Morning Mrs. Black.”

 

Marlena gave him a dazzling grin. “Good morning Albert! It’s so nice to see you again! “ she said as if they were the dearest of friends. “How are you today?”

 

The young boy blushed beet red at her warm greeting, and out of the corner of her eye, Marlena could see John chuckle and shake his head, as he remained by the door and reached into his pocket for a tip for the boy. “Aawww, I’m cool. Thanks for askin’ Mrs. Black!” he said proudly, seemingly flattered.

 

Ducking his head, he reached to the bottom shelf of the cart to slide off a silver tray that held a bone china coffee pot, with matching cups and saucers, along with a tiny sugar bowl and a and a small pitcher of cream. In the center of the tray, was a thin, cut crystal bud vase, that held a single pale pink rose. Albert set it in the center of the coffee table and rose, his task now completed.

 

Then he looked at the tray and at the people in the room. An odd look of panic crossed the boys face.

 

John caught his eye. “Problem?” he asked the boy who looked as if he were facing a firing squad.

 

“Um, Mr. Black, they only sent up 2 cups for coffee. I didn’t know you had, um…guests. I can run right downstairs and get you 2 more cups if you give me just a minute…” Albert said, his voice laced with fear.

 

John just smiled at him, and everyone present could see the relief was over the boy‘s face. “No need Albert.“ he said, stepping beside the boy and giving him a sharp pat on the shoulder, as if they were suddenly buddies. “My step-daughter and her husband aren’t joining us for breakfast, since they have 2 little rugrats at home to look after. They should be on their way to mooch breakfast from MY housekeeper. Isn’t that right Elvis? ” John said with deliberateness.

 

Marlena hid her smile and spoke to Albert conversationally. “My daughter and, uh, son-in-law have been kind enough to bring us our luggage.”

 

“Oh, ” Albert said, still seemingly confused. “…cool.” he said with another shy smile for Marlena. “Did you want me to bring it in the bedroom for you, Mrs. Black?“ he asked.

 

Marlena thought of the blankets, carelessly mounded on top of the bed and the pillows scattered around the room, not to mention any other stray pieces of clothing they might have tossed around and had a brief panic attack. “NO! “ she snapped. Causing EJ and Samantha both to look at her oddly. “No. Thank you.” she said more calmly, as she saw John duck his head to hide a grin. “We can take care of the later.

 

“Ok. Cool. “ Then he turned to John, ” Well, um did you, like, need anything else?”

 

“No. ” John said rather forcefully, before gentling his tone and adding, “Thank you.“ Holding out his arm toward the door in a sign for Albert to leave, John shook his hand, and deftly slid him a tip.

 

 

“Thanks Mr. Black, thanks very much. You need anything, you just ring the desk.“

 

“I’ll do that.” As the young boy moved out the door, he turned to pull it closed behind him. John stopped him from closing the door, and looked up at EJ once again, with an impatient glance.

 

EJ took Samantha’s arm. “Let’s allow your mother to get her rest Samantha.” he said. When Sami started to protest again, EJ tightened his grip, and leaned down to whisper sharply “Now !”

 

“Fine!“ she hissed at him. Sami didn’t look pleased at all, but shook off EJ’s arm and once again and approached her mother. “Mom, are you sure your ok?” Across the room, John gave a loud and impatient sigh.

 

Marlena glanced at John by the open door, a felt a little shiver go thru her as she watched him reach into his pocket and pull a tiny piece of a shimmering fabric to peak out, and lifted his head to catch her gaze.

 

Her panties. Dear God.

 

She could tell this “teasing” thing between them was getting to be pretty fun for him. Not to mention the fact that he was totally turning her on. “Sami, honestly. I’d just like to have some food, a hot shower, and ….“ moving her eyes to John’s “…go right to bed. “

 

“And I can assure you, your mother will get… whatever she wants.” John

said in a deep, low voice.

 

Sami flipped a questioning look over her shoulder at him, but John simply gave her his patented blank stare. “Your mother will be well taken care of. And protected.” he added.

 

“All right.” Sami said glancing at her mother again, just as EJ came and hooked his hand at her elbow. “Call me later please Mom?

 

“Of course sweetie. Please go home and kiss the babies for me, ok? I promise, I’ll be fine.” she said pulling Sami in for a hug. Lifting her eyes to EJ, she said. “I don’t have to tell you to be careful, do I?”

 

He shook his head. “Not at all.”

 

Marlena nodded, and released her daughter. “Good. Now, get going you two. I’ll talk to you later.” she smiled.

 

“You promise?” Sami whined.

 

Behind her, Marlena saw John lift his head and look at the ceiling in exasperation. Marlena threw her arm over Sami’s shoulder and guided her toward the door, with EJ close behind. “I want you, to go home, and take care of Johnny and Alli, and please, don’t worry about me. All right?“

 

At the door, Marlena stood next to John, who held his hand out to EJ and thanked him for bringing their belongings. To Sami, John looked at her seriously and said in a quiet voice, “No one will get anywhere near your Mother, Samantha. I promise.”

 

Sighing dramatically, Marlena hugged Sami again and watched EJ steer her out of the room, where she was sure they both heard the door close quickly behind them, and the lock catch.

 

She turned and faced John, and tried her best to hold back a smile. She failed.

 

“Finally.” he groaned.

 

“Don’t be angry with her. She was worried about me.” Marlena said in a soothing voice.

 

“I’m not angry, I’m impatient. There’s a big difference. “ John walked up to her, lifted both hands, and hooked his two index fingers under the collar of the shirt she wore. “I want to get back to our earlier discussion. ”

 

Marlena took a tiny step closer to him bringing their bodies a scant few inches apart. “Which discussion was that?” she said softly.

 

Let the games begin.

 

John’s hands slid down her front gently, brushing just the tips of her breasts with the backs of his fingers. “The one about you wearing my clothes.” He reached the knotted material at her waist and was just about to loosen the fabric when his cell phone rang. He shot a glance to the offensive object on the edge of the coffee table, and exhaled almost violently.

 

Marlena just giggled. “Just like old times.”

 

John glared. “Really?“ he said icily. “Hmmmpf. That’ll change.” He grumbled and walked to answer it.

 

Speaking quietly he turned his back to where she stood and carried on his conversation. She could only make out a few words here and there, like “under no circumstances” and “for the next few days”. Her mind couldn’t help but wonder what John’s plans were now that Stefano had been thrown back into their orbit. The last thing her mind focused on were the words “taking care of my wife.” which made Marlena smile from ear to ear. She was unspeakably proud of him.

 

Looking at the delicious play of muscles across his back as he spoke on the phone, Marlena decided maybe a little reward was in order.

 

Finishing up his call less than a minute later, John powered down the phone, snapped it closed and tossed it onto the couch. Turning to face Marlena….he was met with an empty room, until his eyes dropped to the floor. A few inches from his feet lay his discarded shirt. He bent to pick it up, his hands noting it was still warm from the heat of her body.

 

John swallowed past the lump in his throat. Jesus.

 

Across the room, just inside the doorway to the bedroom, John saw a pile of silky powder blue fabric stretched across the floor. Her pants. He swallowed. Hard.

 

He spotted her bra, still folded neatly on the edge of the bed, and his hand automatically patted his pocket were her panties were, and could picture in his mind every inch of that body that was surely naked now, and knew she must have enjoyed the thought of tempting him with a trail of discarded clothing for him to follow.

 

Walking like a zombie in the direction of her discarded clothing he entered the bedroom where his ears were pricked by the dull, squeaky sound of the taps being turned on in the shower. The rush of the water matched the rush of heat that shot straight to his cock. He yanked the t-shirt over his head as he walked into the bathroom, and dropped it on the floor at his feet.

 

The glass doors to the shower were open, as the small enclosure started to fill with steam. Marlena stood with her back to him, naked as a baby, leaning into the stall, with her hand under the spray of water. His eyes fixed on her perfect heart shaped ass, and his pulse doubled, even as she looked over her shoulder at him with the sexiest little smile. “I think it’s warm enough now. You’ll wash my back for me, won‘t you honey?” she whispered, as she pushed gently off the glass wall, and stepped into the stall letting the hot water rush over her shoulders.

 

John didn’t remember unhooking his pants, but he was thankful he didn’t kill himself by getting his feet tangled in them as he undid the catch, and dropped them while walking the length of the room, before he kicked them across the tile floor. Just as he reached the open door of the shower, Marlena turned around to face him, putting her back to the water, and tilting her head back beneath the hot spray.

 

It was a view that burned itself instantly into his brain, as John found himself actually envying each and every sparkling drop of water as it cascaded down her body. The tiny drops that clung to the tips of her nipples made his mouth water. His dick, which was already awake and seeking attention, turned rock solid, as John’s hand unconsciously dropped to wrap around it.

 

Marlena ran her hands through her hair, and down across her body, and sighed in delighted contentment, just before she opened her eyes and looked at him again. “You’ve taken such good care of me. Come here.“ she all but purred. “Let me take care of you.”

 

John‘s brain fogged from heat that had nothing to due with the temperature of the water, as he stepped into the stall and closed the glass door behind him .

 

 

Chapter 9

 

John stepped into the stall and tugged the door closed at his back, his eyes never once lifting from the glistening and sparkling wealth of warm, wet skin in front of him. He watched Marlena’s eyes close in anticipation, and she sighed lustily, as if his mere closeness was as arousing to her as a physical touch. Christ, this woman was amazing, he thought.

 

 

 

Marlena’s senses were screaming. Her body was alive and tingling with energy , even as the hot water soothed her tired muscles, and seemed to temper all the delicious aches left over from a night of love making. Not to mention the fact the John’s eyes had almost as wonderful of an effect on her as his hands soon would. She could feel him looking at her, and opened her eyes to find him drinking her in. She wondered if she could attribute the fuzzy feeling in her head entirely to the steam of the shower, or if it was simply the current of electricity that was generated when he looked at her. His normal azure eyes had changed to a blue so deep and dark, they were the color of a

midnight sky. She knew all too well what that meant, and it sent a shiver of pure delight though her.

 

Marlena’s breath caught in her throat, as desire welled inside her- swift and sharp, but she tried her best to hang on to her resolve to keep things light, playful and romantic, and try to open John up to just how much fun they could have together. She turned around again, putting her back to him, knowing he was scrutinizing her every move, and reached for the tiny bar of hotel soap that sat on the small tiled shelf of the shower.

 

John’s hand shot out to grab her wrist just before her fingers could so much as touch it. “No!” he said in a fiercely strangled voice, and directed her hand slowly back down to her side, careful not to let his fingers stray to the moist skin he was all but trembling to stroke, for fear that he’d lose all control.

 

Marlena turned to look at him over her shoulder, confused. “No?”

 

John’s eyes traveled once again down her body, mesmerized by the tiny drops of water that rolled over skin he could practically taste, and felt his dick twitch. He huffed out a breath. “Wait.” he commanded.

 

Marlena thought …well, more like hoped, that John had been planning on taking the lead and soaping her up, and she had already begun to steel herself for the feel of his hands. But the muscle in his jaw tightened visibly, and she tried to decide the best way to broach the subject of asking him what was wrong.

 

But before she could formulate a sentence, he did something Marlena wasn’t expecting at all.

 

John turned around and stepped out of the shower, strode naked and dripping across the floor, and walked quickly out of the bathroom.

 

He’d left the shower door wide open, letting out the accumulated steam and leaving Marlena completely bewildered. She looked disbelievingly at the small space around her in the glass enclosure, which- now that she was alone, felt as wide and as empty as the Grand Canyon. She could hear only the faint sound of him rustling around in the other room over the sound of the rushing water, and wondered what the hell he was doing.

 

Then a thought struck her, and she wondered if John had had some sort of memory flash that had spooked him. Just as she turned to shut the taps off and go after him, she heard the bathroom door snick closed behind her, and lifted her head to look over her shoulder. She watched John stride back across the room with a collection of bottles and tubes clutched in his big hand. He stepped into the shower and placed two tubes on the shelf behind her before she had a chance to get a close enough look at them, and then turned the plastic bottle over in his hands to flip the cap open.

 

That was when Marlena recognized her perfume scented shower gel ….and smiled from the depths of her soul. She looked up at him, with a sexy little grin. “Aaahh. Another of the things you…. ‘took care of’ this morning?” she asked True to form, John had been thinking ahead.

 

John nodded and looked down at her face, marveling at the fact that he found even the tiny drops of water that clung to the tips of her eyelashes like little diamonds, ridiculously erotic. “ I asked Samantha to bring you your things. I just… well, I thought you’d be more comfortable if you had your own ….stuff.” he said with a shy shrug of his shoulders. “Especially after being in the hospital, where everything smells like….well, it smells like a hospital.” he added with a grimace looking down at the bottle in his hands.

 

Touched, she cupped his cheek in her palm, and brought his gaze to hers. “Oh.” she breathed. “Thank you, John. That was… incredibly sweet. And very, very thoughtful of you to think of this for me.“

 

John looked at her from lowered lids, and a sneaky little grin crawled across his handsome face.

 

“ Well, it wasn’t entirely for you.”

 

Marlena quirked a questioning brow.

 

“ I uh,…….” he squared his shoulders, and lifted the open bottle to his nose and inhaled. “….I like this too.” He smiled at her. “I like it a lot.”

 

Marlena smiled, inside and out, knowing he was right.

 

John looked at her and his faced turned serious. “You told me once, a long time ago, that….I bought this perfume for you. Did I ?” His eyes closed, as he sniffed again, remembering the first time he smelled it, that freezing cold day in the alley, after he’d snuck out of Rolf’s lab.

 

Marlena took a step closer to him, the spray of water pelting her lower back. She slid her palms along his forearms, scraping her nails across his biceps, loving the way his muscles tensed and tightened under her hands, and nodded. “Yes, you did, as a matter of fact.”

 

He hadn’t been able to identify why it had affected him as it had back then, and he grinned thinking how bizarre that first encounter had been. This beautiful blonde ‘angel in distress’, standing in a cold alley, looking fragile and frightened, smelling like wildflowers and rain- and surprising the hell out of him by pointing a gun at him while he tried to be helpful and scrape the ice from her car window.

 

Shaking his head, he squeezed a small dollop into his palm, set the bottle down and rubbed his hands together instantly finding himself with a mass of fragrant bubbles. He groaned as the sweet and sexy scent he identified with her, filled the shower stall and floated into his brain.

 

He inhaled a deep breath, then opened his eyes and looked at her. “Nice. But….” he said deeply as he slid his soapy hands slowly across her belly, then inched around her waist to slide up the delicate bumps of her spine, until his palms cupped her shoulder blades and he pulled her close to him “….it smells… so much better ….. on you.”.

 

Her hands found their way around his neck and locked at his nape. Marlena smiled. “Why, thank you Mr. Black.” she groaned scraping her teeth over his jaw.

 

John groaned himself, and took advantage of every inch of soft slippery skin available to him as his hands glided over her aimlessly.

 

And everywhere. Her body was trim and fit, yet soft and yielding in all the right places. His hands were unstoppable, slipping over every last curve. Exciting her beyond measure, leaving her breath huffing from her lungs, but never letting her too close to the edge.

 

Marlena’s mind was having a mighty difficult time focusing on anything but the sizzle she felt as his hands moved in slow methodical strokes down along her back, over the slight roundness of her hips and across the supple softness of her bottom. The scent of the soap was made even more intense by the heat of the shower… not to mention the heat that was being generated by the two of them.

 

“Mmmmm.“ Marlena moaned deep in her throat, and with the way he had her pressed up against him, he could feel the tremor move through her chest – and into his own. Her voice did bizarre things to his insides, and he chuckled and flexed his fingers across her ass again, pulling her tightly to him, and eliciting another lusty moan from her – which made his breath catch in his throat.

 

Marlena felt his chest shake with a gentle laugh, and tilted her head back and eyed him with a sexy, sultry gaze. “What?” she smiled.

 

John shook his head in wonder and grinned. “That …. voice.” he said, his fingers coming up to graze her throat, tracing her collarbones until his index finger stroked the little dip at the base of her throat, just before he ducked his head to brush his lips across it; eliciting a gasp of surprise from her.

 

“My Voice? But …I didn’t say anything…” she said breathlessly, but genuinely curious.

 

“You didn’t have to say anything Blondie. Its just… the sound of your voice. It….it…”

 

Marlena smiled and tightened her arms around his neck, which slid her warm, soapy body against his, to both their delights. Her nipples hardened even more against the silky soft hair on his chest.

 

“What about…the sound of my voice?” Marlena breathed, in a deliberately low tone close to his ear.

 

John grinned, and decided to be truthful. “It’s… sexy.” He said simply. “And,….. it makes me hot.”

 

Marlena threw her head back under the spray of the shower and laughed.

 

John quirked an eyebrow. “You find that funny?” he questioned even as he watched the water pour over her, sending bubbles southward.

 

Marlena stepped up to her tip-toes to peck his mouth with warm, wet lips.

“I do.”

 

He shook his head, and huffed out a breath, an smoothed the hair off her forehead. “ Women. You find humor in the strangest things. ” He said with a playful shrug of his shoulders, and grinned when she smiled at him. Then he pulled back and slid her slowly away from his body, taking a deep breath to fortify himself.

 

Marlena tensed. “Wha…what is it? What’s wrong?”

 

John just looked at her. “Ssshhh. Relax.“ he soothed. “Nothing’s wrong. Now. Stand still. And stop distracting me.”

 

“Distracting you? I thought I was supposed to be taking care of you ?“ she said.

 

“Oh, you are.” he said as his eyes traveled down her slick body. “Believe me honey,

 

you are.“ His soapy hands skimmed down her sides, over her hips and belly, finally moving up the center of her body, spreading the last of the fragrant bubbles as he went. With a deep breath he steeled himself, even as his cock practically shouted for attention, and he cupped both breasts in his big hands, and stroked his thumbs lazily back and forth across her hardened nipples, the sweet scent emanating from her skin filling his nostrils just as her soft flesh filled his hands. He groaned again, just watching her eyes close and her mouth drop open as the pleasure assailed her.

 

Marlena’s hands had slid down from his shoulders to catch at his bent elbows, and the slippery soap made it hard for her to hold onto him, even though her knees – along with the rest of her body, felt like it was turning to jelly beneath John‘s hands. Not that she feared he’d let her fall. She had complete trust in him to protect and care for her. She just hoped that the DiMera influence – which had proved so enticing to this John, could be overcome by the power of their love. It had to, she vowed. She’d see to it.

 

The real John Black was slowly but surely re-emerging. Tiny bits and pieces of the man she loved more than life itself, were becoming more and more familiar to Marlena in this man. It seemed that ‘old’ John and ‘new’ John were melding before her eyes….and she liked it. He still had a mischievous streak, and was as stubborn as could be, but now at least, he seemed a little more willing to channel all that stubbornness in the right direction.

 

As long as his hatred for Stefano didn’t cloud his judgment and put the family at risk, they’d be ok. That’s what she had to do….she needed to teach him the importance of family, and the strength that the bonds of family provided against Stefano’s treachery. But it wasn’t a sure thing. Not yet. If his disgust for Stefano didn’t prove to be more appealing than the lure of wealth and power that went hand-in-hand with being a DiMera, they’d be in trouble. Real trouble.

 

But now was not the time to let Stefano’s deceitful influence infiltrate their happiness.

 

In this hotel suite, tucked away from the rest of the world for as long as it lasted in this protective little bubble of theirs, Marlena was determined to bring John Black back.

 

Back to his family. Back to his wife. Back to himself.

 

Marlena sighed as his hands worked their magic.

 

Marlena’s eyes opened only to half mast, and the steam that swirled around them only served to give the sharp lines of concentration on his face an even sexier edge, surrounding him in a hazy cloud of desire and longing. Oh, Dear God. Her breath hissed through her teeth as John gathered her close with an arm around her waist, while the other hand slid down a warm, slick thigh, grabbed the crook of her knee and hiked her leg up onto his hip. His hair roughened thigh teased the swollen, throbbing lips of her pussy, sending shivers through her that she knew he could feel. Her hips did an unconsciously sexy little swivel and she ground against his waist, causing his fists to clench even as his arms tightened around her, as desire pounded through him like a fist.

 

“Damn! Are you always this ready for me, baby?” he said on a choked breath.

 

“Always.” came an immediate whispered reply.

 

He smiled down into her beautiful face and watched her eyes twinkle. “You know, I don’t remember being a …“ he chuckled “ a horny teenager with raging hormones and a racing libido, but I’d have to imagine it was something like this.” he said leaning down and nipping her bottom lip.

 

Marlena sighed and tightened her arms around him. “Well, I do remember being a teenager, and believe me. I wouldn’t want to trade places and go back to those days…not for anything in the world. No.” she said with a little shake of her head. “I wouldn‘t want to be anywhere else. Nowhere else, but right here… with you.” she added, with another grind of her lower body against his hip, that had him clenching his grip on her even tighter still.

 

As if on cue, John growled into her ear. “Oh, Jesus!” Closing his eyes in concentration, he commanded his body to calm and temper, which was a hell of a struggle considering all he really wanted to do was to lift her onto his raging hard-on and bury himself inside her until the both forgot who the hell they were. He ran a finger down her cheek and watched a bead of water race over her skin, and slide along the smooth column of her neck, as he groaned deep in his throat. “You won’t get any argument from me on that score Blondie.”

 

Taking another calming breath, he pulled back a bit and watched their bodies peel away from one another. As her back bowed, pushing her breasts forward, and offering him a mouthwatering view as water ran down her body , John felt every muscle he had harden like concrete. Looking down at himself he could see the sparkly little bubbles from her soap glistening in the hairs on his own chest, and couldn’t help but laugh.

 

Reaching to grab her chin, he waited until her slumberous gaze focused on his. “I have a sneaky hunch I’m gonna come out of this shower smelling like a girl.”

 

Marlena’s smile slid across her lips like a gentle wave. “Good thing you like the way it smells.” she whispered.

 

John shook his head with a grin. “I like…. the way it smells – on you, honey.” He said with an easy familiarity that made Marlena’s heart smile. “And I like the way you taste even more. “ he said leaning in to kiss her mouth with a deep sweep of his tongue.

 

Marlena leaned forward and wrapped an arm all the way around his neck, her palm coming to rest on his cheek, as she held him to her, and returned his passionate kiss. She felt his hand stroke down over the cheek of her ass, and down along her thigh, holding her leg tight around his hip, loving the feel of his strong fingers digging into her soft flesh. She dug her heel into the rock hard muscle of his backside, and tightened her leg around him, pulling herself even closer to him, and grinding her mound against him once again, telling him wordlessly that she was more than ready for him.

 

Their tongues continued to lick at one another, as the kiss turned hotter and deeper, and more carnal. It was almost as if they were searching for some exotic, hidden flavor buried deep inside one another. Marlena’s high pitched gasp was swallowed by John’s searching mouth as they enjoyed the simple and sexy thrill of a kiss until they were both breathless.

 

“You’re dangerous lady. Do you know that?” he asked taking a gulp of air when they finally parted.

 

Marlena only smiled, and sighed deep in her throat once again as they slowly parted, and she set both feet back onto the tiled floor of the shower, instantly missing the intimate contact, even as she watched John reach behind her to the tubes on the shelf.

 

 

Choosing one, he again squeezed a small amount into the palm of his hand, and with his face scant inches from hers, he smoothed the dollop of shampoo over the tangle of dark blonde hair plastered to the crown of her head and set about his new task. As he worked the shampoo in creating a fragrant and frothy cap that held just the faintest hint of apples, he used the tips of his fingers to massage her scalp drawing out another little sigh of pleasure from her.

 

Marlena’s hands splayed across the hard planes of John’s chest even as her eyes fell closed, loving the familiar heat of his skin and the way his muscles moved beneath her fingers with his every breath. Even as her hands stroked through the soft hair there, every so often her fingers would skim over a tiny, puckered patch of skin. She knew his body so well, that she could detect every subtle change, and now she could feel the places where so many little wounds had healed and scarred over since the horrible night he’d been struck by the car. He’d been so badly injured, so…

 

No.

 

She refused to let her mind revisit that hideous night. Not when everything now, was so much better. So much more…the way it should be. She pushed the disturbing images aside, and focused on him. On the feel of his hands. The closeness of his body, and most of all, the love that she felt for this man.

 

John worked the lather through her hair, grinning at the look of pure relaxation on her face. Eyes closed, mouth parted in a tiny smiling ‘O’, she was completely at ease right now, totally with him. He felt her hands sliding unconsciously over his body, as if they were eager to re-learn all the nooks and crannies she hadn’t been able to touch over the last several months she‘d spent without him, and it actually made him happy. Not happy that she’d been miserable, of course, but happy that she seemed so relaxed and so content right now.

 

And for his own part, he’d be a fool to dispute the fact that he’d choose to be anywhere else at the moment, than right there with her. With her skin so pink and warm from the heat of the water, her body so unbelievable soft and pliable, and her mouth, open and so inviting…..Jesus. He couldn’t resist her mouth a second longer.

 

Trailing soapy fingers along the lines of her jaw, he slid his hands beneath her hair, and he watched as her eyes fluttered lazily open, just in time to see his mouth lowering to hers again, and he savored the taste of her sigh. Eyes on one another’s, she looked at him with a deep green gaze that made his dick somehow even harder – something he didn’t think was even possible, and he could see the pleasure washing over her in waves. To say it excited him, was an understatement.

 

He cupped her face in his hands, and with his thumbs traced the shape of her chin.

 

“Close your eyes.“ he said in a deep voice, before he tilted her head back into the spray of water. Shielding her eyes with his fingers, he watched as the water cascaded over her, rinsing away the shampoo, sending it sensuously down over her body, and he fought the urge to come right then and there. Like the horny teenager he‘d imagined himself to be, his eyed skimmed down her body and fixated on the vee of her thighs, as he watched the last of the bubbles race in sparkly, soapy rivers across her tummy, over her mound, and disappeared down the inside of those soft, sweet thighs. “Mmmmm. Sen-sational.” he said in a reverent whisper .

 

Marlena could feel his eyes on her skin as clearly as she could feel the delicious sensation of the water rinsing away the last remaining traces of the fear and the confusion that had surrounded her since the attack, along with the shampoo. Her body felt fluid and supple, and just knowing the amount of care he’d taken to make her feel that way, urged her to respond in kind. She could feel his fingers gently combing through the soft strands of her hair, tugging another surge of love for him from the depths of her soul.

 

Marlena waited until John’s hand cupping the back of her head, lifted her gaze back to his. She smiled at him, and mouthed a silent ‘thank you’. She laid her hands again on his chest, happy to feel the steady beat of his heart beneath her fingers. Sliding an arm around his neck, she pulled herself up along his body until she was close enough to scrap her teeth across the line of his jaw, before placing a tender kiss on his cheek. She felt him chuckle at the simple gesture.

 

Close to his ear, her voice floated into his head. “Is it my turn now?” she said.

 

John tilted his head back a few inches and looked at her, his eyebrow arching slightly.

 

“I wasn’t even close to being finished with you.” he said stroking a hand down her torso, and brushing just the backs of his fingers across the dark blonde hair that covered her throbbing center. He felt her shiver in his arms, and knew it had nothing to do with a lack of heat.

 

“If you don’t stop touching me like that, I will be. “ she smiled and pressed another soft kiss on the side of his throat.

 

“Would that be a bad thing?” he asked.

 

“Oh….” Marlena chuckled, “…you touching me is NEVER a bad thing. “

 

“Good. Because…” he began.

 

“But now it’s my turn.” she interrupted, her voice hot at his ear, as he teeth nipped lightly at the lobe. “Turn around.” she whispered.

 

John loosened his grip

around her, but didn’t separate their bodies. “Why the hell would I want to do that?” he asked, genuinely confused.

 

“Because I’m asking you to.” Marlena slid herself away from him, laid her hands on his shoulders, and urged him to turn and face the tiled wall. “Trust me.”

 

He looked her dead in the eyes, and for a second or two, Marlena was afraid that might be asking too much. He lifted his chin, and looked down at her, just before she felt his body go lax, and he allowed her to guide him where she wanted him to go.

 

“You DO trust me, don’t you John?” she said flexing her fingers on the solid muscles of his shoulders as he pivoted his feet, turned and reached to place his hands on little tile shelf.

 

He looked over his shoulder at her, water dripping from his chin. “You’re the only person in this world that I DO trust.”

 

Marlena’s smile all but bubbled from her soul as she ran her hands down his back and stood behind him watching the water rush over him, much as he’d done to her.

 

She sighed.

 

This was gonna be good.

 

 

Chapter 10

 

“But now it’s my turn.” she interrupted, her voice hot at his ear, as her teeth nipped lightly at the lobe. “Turn around.” she whispered.

 

John loosened his grip around her, but didn’t separate their bodies. “Why the hell would I want to do that?” he asked, genuinely confused.

 

“Because I’m asking you to.”  Marlena slid herself away from him, laid her hands on his shoulders, and urged him to turn and face the tiled wall.

 

“Trust me.”

 

He looked her dead in the eyes, and for a second or two, Marlena was afraid that might be asking too much. He lifted his chin, and looked down at her, just before she felt his body go lax, and he allowed her to guide him where she wanted him to go.

 

“You DO trust me, don’t you John?” she said flexing her fingers on the solid muscles of his shoulders as he pivoted his feet, turned and reached to place his hands on little tile shelf.

 

He looked over his shoulder at her,  water dripping from his chin. “You’re the only person in this world that I DO trust.”

 

Marlena’s smile all but bubbled from her soul as she ran her hands down his back and stood behind him watching the water rush over him, much as he’d done to her.    She sighed.

 

This was gonna be good.

 

“Don’t move.” she said quietly. “Please?”

 

Marlena’s palms skimmed  up his body from the small of his back, up over the strongly defined lines of his shoulder blades and across his powerful body. Dear God, the man was beautiful. She bypassed the hotel soap for the bottle of body wash and smiled at John’s earlier comment that he was gonna smell like a girl.

 

Oh well, she grinned. Guess he’d need another shower, she chuckled to herself.

 

Squeezing a little soap into her hands she rubbed until the bubbles overflowed, and she mimicked his earlier movements, and began to spread the lather across his shoulders, her fingers flexing and massaging the tight, powerful muscles as she went.

 

She pressed the heels of her hands into the tight, corded expanse of skin stretched across his shoulders and squeezed hard to loosen the tendons beneath.

 

She sighed at the simple pleasure of his body before her eyes, and beneath her hands.

 

If there was one small indulgence of vanity in this life that she could say she truly reveled in, it was John. There was no denying her husband was physically breath-taking, and any woman with a pulse knew it. ‘Handsome’ was an understatement. Thick dark hair, chiseled cheekbones, a sharply angled jaw, and bright blue eyes that could make a woman’s knees weak. And his body? Oh God. His body was an amazing piece of machinery. Strong and sleek. Powerful and proud. Yet John was gentle and caring, capable of such great tenderness, and always possessing the ability to bring her body to the most astonishing heights of passion and pleasure with even only the most miniscule gestures.

 

She could feel the tense and tight muscles flex as her hands spread the soap across his back, and she knew he was struggling to honor her request, and remain still and stationary. She also knew there was no way  this was gonna be a lengthy shower. Even as her own body hummed from John’s earlier attentions, Marlena knew John’s control was thin at best, and judging by the tremors she could feel just  beneath the surface, that control was testing the limits of his patience.

 

Marlena took a tiny step closer bringing her body in line with his,  her tight nipples teasing his back and delighting them both, as she skimmed soap slickened hands around his middle. She slid slowly south below his waist, and raked her nails lightly over the super-sensitive skin that stretched between  his pelvic bones.

 

John’s breath hissed through his teeth as he inhaled sharply, filling his lungs in anticipation of what he knew was coming next. His head dipped beneath the spray, and Marlena watched the bubbles slide rapidly down his back. Without a second thought, Marlena flattened herself against his back to press her lips to the tempting spot between his shoulder blades where the water raced past, even as she reached to stroke a hand up the length of his cock which was now standing tall and proud.

 

John’s breath pushed from his lungs in a ‘whoosh’, spitting water as it went,  as her hand wrapped around him, and tightened, giving him the most amazing rush.

 

“Blondie….don‘t….” he ground out, in a voice that held just a bit of a warning.

 

Marlena’s lips curled, “Ssshhh.” she breathed. Without removing the fist that held his manhood in a vice grip, her other palm stroked up his torso until she felt the speedy , pounding beat of his heart beneath her fingers.

 

Marlena pushed up onto her toes to peak over his shoulder and saw John’s knuckles, white and fierce, grasping the little shelf. She rubbed her cheek along the top of his shoulder and chuckled. “Better watch you don’t snap that shelf right off the wall.”

 

John turned to look over his shoulder and angled  his head toward the sound of her voice, and she could see the arch in his eyebrow as he gazed her way. “It might be worth it.” he growled.

 

In a silent response, Marlena’s hand slid down to the base of his shaft and the tugged upwards again, her thumb circling the head of his dick once she reached the tip. “Mmmmm.” she agreed, placing a kiss on his shoulder. “Might be.” she mumbled against his back.

 

John was stunned to realize that he could actually discern the difference between the familiar yet….generic feel of the warm water racing over him, from  the silkier, hotter heat of her mouth on his skin, as Marlena once again pressed an open-mouthed kiss between his shoulders, at just about the top of his spine.

 

Her teeth took tiny, scraping bites along his back, seeking…..more. She knew what she wanted- what she was craving, but didn‘t know how John would react. While he was becoming more and more comfortable being with her ‘one-on-one’, even here in their hideaway from the rest of the world as they rediscovered one another, Marlena could tell John was guarded. A part of him was still holding back.

 

Well. Lets see if she could further shock John out of his current complacency. Push him a bit further, and force his trust. His trust in her.

 

Marlena released him, and felt John exhale deeply, as if he were somehow relieved. A sneaky grin tilted her mouth as she dipped under John’s  arm and rose quickly to stand between his outstretched arms,  her back to his front, wedged between him and the wall. She used both hands to simultaneously shut the water taps and listened in amazement as the rush of water ceased with a quiet squeak, and plunged the small space into an almost deafening silence, that was punctuated only briefly by a few  odd, random drips of water.

 

She could feel John’s breath, hot on the nape of her neck and was delighted to see in her peripheral vision that John remained still, his arms still stretched in front of him, still perched on the small ledge; caging her in…and still trembling with tension as he struggled with his own control.

 

Turning in the circle of those spread arms to face him , Marlena looked up at her husband. Rivulets of water trailed from his temples, and cruised along his strong jaw to the tip of his chin.  He looked so unbelievably handsome to her in that moment, it almost knocked the breath from her body.

 

His chest was heaving. His jaw was set. His face was hard. His eyes were dark. So deep and dark….   Yum.

 

She wordlessly lifted her hands to his chest, sifting thru the dark hair, her fingertips finding and fondling the flat disks of his nipples. She watched his eyes flutter closed for a moment, as he enjoyed her ministrations, and once he opened them again, she made sure she had his full attention as she locked his gaze with her own, and smiled gently at him.

 

John marveled at the sparkle in those gorgeous hazel eyes, now lit with mischief, until he realized with a blink – that they were moving….. further away from him …. slowly sinking…..to the floor.

 

A split second before he realized her intentions, and despite the heat of the water, he felt her breath whisper warmly across his dick, where it stood straight up against his abdomen, as her hands slid slowly down his sides to settle on his hips. Without ever touching her hands to his member, Marlena leaned close to his body and maneuvered her mouth to the aching tip of his penis on her descent, and slowly took him into her mouth, as she settled into a squat.

 

John opened his mouth to speak but no words materialized, as his mind buzzed at the astounding sensations that washed over him. Her mouth was unbelievably hot, and her tongue – that had flattened to tease the throbbing vein along the underside of his shaft only to move up and swirl deliciously around his tip, set every nerve he possessed on edge. His teeth clenched so tightly, he thought they might shatter, so he opened his mouth to release the pressure, and surprised even himself at the guttural, animal moan that came out.

 

Marlena shifted her head from side to side as she settled into a familiar rhythm, each pass taking  him deeper and deeper into her mouth. His taste filled her, and sent her blood zinging through her veins. Angling just her eyes upward, the sight of John with his head thrown back and his mouth open in sheer delight thrilled her, and made her moan low in her throat. The sensation of that sound no doubt traveled along John’s cock like a lightning bolt, forcing him to drop his head, and pin her gaze with his own.

 

John’s hands finally released their iron grip on the shelf and lowered to her head, where even he was surprised at how gently they sifted through  Marlena’s damp and now lazily curling hair.  He had a brief urge to yank her to him and pump his hips to  speed her torturously slow pace, thinking he needed to take control of this scenario and quite possibly should be wary of allowing himself to be so vulnerable to her.

 

But as he felt the delicious shiver that sped through him as her fingernails once again raked across his hips and over his stomach to settle back at his sides once more, he felt  something in his chest soften. It wasn’t vulnerability. No. It was an odd sensation though. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Maybe…   Trust? Yes. That must be it. Trust.

 

He did trust her. Completely and irrevocably.  He’d told her he did just a few moments ago, but even as he’d said the words, there was a tiny hesitation in the back of his mind. But somehow, in this simple yet blindingly erotic gesture, that obviously brought her as much pleasure as it did him, that  hesitation disappeared.

 

His mind rapidly tried to dissect it. Tried to examine it. But the argument wouldn’t seem to gel. It was simply there.  Trust.

 

He felt a sudden lightness that swam through him, as if he’d just sailed over yet another imaginary hurdle in this journey he’d undertaken, and he knew; he just knew,  she’d be by his side no matter where that journey took him.

 

She amazed him with her faith, with her belief . With her trust.    How the hell had he ever done anything so right in his other life, to have deserved this woman? Not only was she way to good for him as a wife and as a partner, but she was so utterly and ridiculously sexy, it was almost enough to shatter him. Proper and professional to the outside world, but with him, she was the perfect lover. Giving, generous, playful, sincere, and so fucking sexy it almost defied description.

 

Her mouth never stopped moving as she sucked him, drawing out the pleasure for both of them. His body felt like one of those expensive violins whose strings had been pulled much, much too tight. Marlena played him like a master musician, and he was quickly losing the ability control himself. His hands tightened in the golden strands that ran through his fingers as he tried to urge her back up to her feet, before it was too late, and her hot little mouth shot him over the edge.

 

Marlena was having none of it. She shook her head gently, signaling she wasn’t about to be dissuaded, and, releasing him only briefly, slid her hands away from his hips; one to hold his glistening penis to the warmth and softness of her plump bottom lip as she smiled up at him; and the other to reach beneath and cup his balls in a gentle, rolling  caress.

 

“Blondie…” his voice sounded like sandpaper, even to his own ears. “I can’t…hold…out…”

 

“I don’t want you to.” she said, kissing away the pearly drop of pre-come weeping from the tip of his cock. “I want this John.”

 

He must have been crazy. He must have been insane. Because he tried again to get her to stop.

 

“Marlena…” he moaned, when her hand massaged his balls even tighter, and his knees almost buckled beneath him.  Then, just  as she opened her beautiful mouth again, and slid her lips around him once more to envelope him into the hot, wet heat of her mouth,  she said the one word that told him, there was quite possibly nothing he’d deny her.

 

“Please.” she moaned, as she brought him fully inside of her, relaxing her throat and taking him deep. She could feel John’s testicles tighten and constrict, and knew how very close he was to coming.

 

In a powerful feeling of weightless hesitation that John had become accustomed to in the last few days as he re-acquainted himself with his wife, John gave in, relaxed, and relinquished control,  letting  Marlena guide him into the most sublime orgasm that  barreled over him like steamroller. His voice rumbled forward from what felt like a million miles away, as her name poured from his lips.

 

His body detonated like a bomb as he came, and he felt only the faintest sensation of her nails, which had somehow slid around to the rock hard muscles of his ass, and dug in for purchase, no doubt leaving eight tiny little half-moon indentations across his rear end. Even in the midst of the whirlwind, he struggled to be careful, and not  yank fistfuls of her hair into his palms as his body spasmed almost out of control, but somehow-  he didn’t quite think she’d care.

 

She didn’t.

 

Marlena never missed a beat. With a triumphant groan and a sigh of satisfaction, she took everything John offered, swallowing greedily, and even after the initial waves had passed, she went back for more, sliding just the tip of her tongue along his slit, coaxing every last drop from him.

 

When the tremors finally ceased, Marlena released him, and smiled, trailing her hands up and down his thighs, feeling the muscles quiver beneath her fingertips, even as the aftershocks dissipated.

 

Minutes past until he found the strength to open his eyes. John blinked several times to clear his vision and bring himself back to Planet Earth. Looking down at her, still on her haunches before him, he opened his fists and raked his hands through her hair, before stroking his fingers down the soft, supple skin of cheeks, that were flushed and rosy – and positively glowing.

 

With a supreme effort, he bent forward and slid his hands beneath her armpits and raised her to stand before him. He smiled as her arms automatically lifted to circle his neck, her hands linking behind his head. Following suit, he wrapped his arms around her middle, and indulged himself in settling both palms on the sweet curves of her gorgeous ass.

 

John had to clear his throat before he found his voice, and almost laughed out loud as he watched Marlena enjoy his surprise in what had just transpired.  “Well.” he said roughly.

 

Marlena’s eyebrows lifted in question, but her smiling mouth spoke not a word.

 

John chuckled. “You ….are…”    Marlena’s head tilted forward to rest her forehead on his chin as a laugh bubbled forward.

 

“That was…” he tried again, his shoulder shrugging lightly as the proper adjective escaped him.

 

Marlena’s sparkling eyes rose to meet his, and put him out of his misery of trying to finish the sentence.

 

“Yes. Yes it was. ” she said decisively with a nod of her head,  combing her fingers through the soft dark hair at the nape of his neck.

 

John looked at her with a sly grin. “How the hell did either of us ever get anything done?”

 

Marlena just laughed.  “Let’s just say, we‘ve never had a problem utilizing our free time.”

 

“I’ll say!” John said with a chuckle. John looked down into her face, and saw so much emotion and so much acceptance there, it pulled at him. “You are an amazing woman Marlena Evans-Black.”

 

Another pale blush spread across her already rosy cheeks. “

 

Just figuring that out, huh?” she asked, her voice light and playful.

 

John just shook his head, and took a deep breath, and exhaled.  “So. “ he began. “ I think  we could both use some breakfast.”

 

Marlena nodded. “That sounds good. I’m starving.” she smiled. She released her hands from behind his head and moved to angle her body out of the shower….until she realized John’s grip around her hadn’t loosened. His palms remained firmly planted on her bottom, and he indulged himself in a healthy squeeze, making her laugh and keeping her damp body flush against his.

 

“John” she said through her laughter, “we can’t reach to food from here. You have to let me go.”   He nodded, and brought a hand up to cup her chin, then leaned down to press a firm, quick kiss. “I will. For now.” he said, his eyes full of promise.

 

John released her, and pivoted them both around so he could open the door.

 

The absence of the heat of his body pressed against hers, coupled with the rapid change of temperature in the stall itself once the door was opened, sent goose bumps across her body from head to toe.

 

In a matter of seconds, John took a few quick strides to the small wicker rack across the bathroom and yanked one of the  fluffy hotel robes from the top of the pile. Disposing of the ribbon in a flash, he shook the material loose and turned back to her. Holding a hand to help her over the brass threshold, Marlena stepped out of the shower onto the mat before it, and  immediately found herself  securely wrapped in the soft cotton.  She smiled up at John, and murmured a soft “Thank you.”

 

“Stay put a minute.” he said. He walked over to the wall and flipped a switch that turned on the overhead heat lamp neither of them had thought to turn on before they got into the shower. Then he took one of the towels from the counter, snapped it open, and anchored it quickly around his waist. “I’ll get your things.” he said over his shoulder walking out of the room.

 

Marlena simply stood for a moment, her mind jumbled with thoughts of what the past few days had held for them, as she secured the sash of the robe. What amazing strides they had both made. Simply amazing. Shaking her head a bit, as if that would clear the images from her mind,  she turned again as John strode back into the room with the smallest of the suitcases Samantha and Elvis had delivered earlier, and set it on the counter next to the sink.

 

“If there’s anything you need that Samantha failed to bring you from home… I’ll make arrangements to get you whatever you want.” he said a little awkwardly, in that semi-robotic voice of his.

 

Marlena flipped the top of the case open and saw that her daughter had been pretty thorough. John had already removed her shampoo, conditioner and bath soap, and now Marlena spotted her small travel hair dryer, deodorant, moisturizer, a few items of make-up, and a bottle of perfume, that  rattled around along with a hairbrush, toothbrush, tooth paste and razor.

 

She smiled at John. “Nope. Looks like I have everything I need.”

 

“Excellent.” he said, resting his fists on his hips he peered at her. “You really need all that stuff?”

 

Marlena folded her arms across her middle and ignored the jab. “What about you?”

 

John looked confused. “What about me?”

 

Marlena smiled. “Do you have what you need?  Did EJ bring you your shaving kit?”    J

 

ohn looked at her as if it was a silly question. “He better have.”

 

Marlena just smiled and nodded her head. Then, since it seemed John was waiting for something – although she had no idea what, Marlena sighed. “Well.” she reached into the case and pulled out her toothbrush and tooth paste, and ran the water.

 

She figured when he walked out of the bathroom that John had decided to follow suit,  and had gone to collect his things.

 

Marlena brushed her teeth and smoothed some moisturizer on her face. Out of habit, she left the toothpaste out for John, since he never remembered to pack it,  and removed the protective plastic wrap from one of the small glasses that sat on a small mirrored tray on the counter and set her toothbrush in it.

 

Gazing at her reflection again in the mirror, she saw a woman she’d missed gazing back at her. Happy . Contented. Satisfied. Mmmm, very satisfied, she thought lightly. Her skin was pink, her eyes were bright, and her heart felt lighter than it had in too many months.  She decided that trying to tame her hair was pointless at the moment, so she combed through the almost dry curls with her fingers, thankful that it somewhat styled itself like this, and tucked it behind her ears in a half-hearted motion. Glancing back inside the case, she pulled out the small bottle of perfume, the one that matched her bath soap that John liked so much, pulled the stopper and dabbed a tiny dot behind each ear, and at the pulse points on the inside of her wrists. There, she thought.

 

Walking back toward the bedroom,  she paused in the doorway to watch as John entered from the living room with the other two suitcases – one in each hand, and set them side by side on the bench at the foot of the bed. The garment bag; she saw, had already been hung on a brass hook on the inside of the open closet door, and their previously discarded clothing was tossed on an armchair in the corner. She watched him move easily around the room –  still wearing only a towel. His stride was easy and efficient and every movement was precise.  She sighed. The man sure was easy on the eyes.

 

Opening his suitcase, John lifted out a black leather shaving kit that sat on top of a few days worth of clothes, mostly black, and held it on his outstretched palm. “See?” he said almost proudly. “No muss, no fuss.” he stated, as if he was making a point. “Only the necessities. Keep it stocked and it‘s always ready to go. ”

 

Marlena walked over to stand beside him, and smiled. “I’ll remind you to thank EJ next time we see him for remembering to grab your ‘ready-to-go‘ kit.“ She joked, and saw an odd look race across John’s face, and raised her brows in question. “What’s wrong.”

 

John looked down at her. “You said ‘we.’  The next time ‘we’ see him.“   Marlena didn’t even flinch. At least – not on the outside.

 

“Yes.”   John’s mind seemed to mull that over for a minute, his brow furrowed. Then he nodded, and looked at her again. “I like that.” he said quietly.

 

Smiling broadly, she said “Yea. I like that too.” she reached up and laid her palm lightly against his cheek, watching as John’s head pivoted toward her hand.

 

He inhaled deeply. “Perfume?” he asked unnecessarily.

 

Marlena rose up onto her toes and pecked his lips. “Only the necessities.”  she grinned, and enjoyed watching the surprise that crossed his face at their teasing banter.  “I’m going to call down to the kitchen and ask Albert bring us another pot of coffee. That one… “ she crooked a thumb toward the other room, “…is probably ice cold by now.”

 

John nodded his head, and watched her move toward the door.

 

“I’ll be out in a minute. Do NOT answer the door.” he said a little too strongly. Lowering – and gentling his voice, he added, “Please?”

 

Knowing they still had to be careful of Stefano, and that he was only trying to protect her, she nodded quietly. “OK.” Over her shoulder as she walked out of the room, she said,  “Oh, I left the toothpaste on the counter for you.”

 

John scoffed, and jostled the shaving kit in his hand as he walked back into the bathroom, unzipping it confidently as he went. He set the bag on the marble counter, and reached inside pulling out his ‘necessities‘, his ears picking up Blondie’s light laugh as she spoke on the phone no doubt ordering their coffee.

 

Razor, toothbrush,  dental floss, shaving cream, after shave, comb, cologne, a small tube of the gunk the girl at the salon sold him for his hair, and some loose change. Nothing else.

 

He looked toward the sound of her voice and laughed .

 

Well. Damn.

 

He forgot the toothpaste.

 

Chapter 11

 

John brushed his teeth, and actually smiled when he dropped his toothbrush into the glass next to Marlena’s, thinking it looked good there.  He pulled his shaving cream and razor from his kit, closed off the drain, and let the small sink fill with hot water. Smearing the cool lime scented shaving cream across the lower half of his face, he made quick work of his day’s growth of stubble. He was just scraping away the last bit of foam from the tricky spot under his lower lip, when Blondie leaned a shoulder fully against the door jamb and peered inside. He’d felt her watching him for a minute or two, and wondered why she’d been so quiet, but figured she’d tell him eventually. She didn’t disappoint him.

 

“I always liked watching you shave.” she said with a small smile.

 

“Oh? And why is that?”   Marlena just shrugged her shoulders and smiled as she stepped a single slim foot into the bathroom. “ I don’t know. I just….do.”

 

John rinsed the razor and set in on the counter, before picking up a damp cloth and wiping his face and neck, removing any remaining streaks of shaving cream.

 

Tossing the wash-cloth on the edge of the sink, he looked at her curiously.     “Do you mind?” she asked gently.

 

“No.” he said splashing a bit of after shave into his palms and smoothing it over his face.He leaned a hip against the marble, as he thought about it for a few seconds. “I don’t seem to.” he said honestly.

 

She drew a deep breath, taking in the cool, clean sexy smell.

 

“Good.“  Marlena just laughed and pivoted on her heel and walked back into the bedroom. Gazing out the window, she saw the rain had picked up. Lightning flickered across the slate gray sky, and thunder rumbled in the distance, yet it didn’t phase her in the least. Her heart felt lighter than it had in months, and not even the stormy weather was going to dampen her mood.

 

Their luggage still sat side by side on the bench at the foot of the bed. John had unzipped both suitcases and flipped them open, and Marlena set about sorting thru the clothes to decide what to wear. Sami; who Marlena felt sure must have packed in a hurry,  seemed to have opted for comfort in her choices for her mother.

 

Thanking her silently, Marlena pulled out a dusty pink, light weight track suit.  From the zippered flap, she selected a pale yellow bra and panty set, and dug around until she found a pair of soft white ankle socks.  She ignored the sneakers she spotted tucked into the corner of the suitcase and, piling everything on the foot of the bed, Marlena untied and dropped her robe.

 

The shiver that snaked down her spine didn’t have nearly as much to do with the missing warmth of the robe that was now puddled at her feet, as it did with the eyes she felt skate across her naked body from across the room.

 

Smiling to herself, she bent at the waist and slowly…. very, very slowly stepped into her panties, taking extra time and extra care to straighten the lacey edges and smooth them down over the cheeks of her bottom, fully aware of her audience. Keeping her back to where she knew John still stood, she straightened and shook her hair back until the mass of unruly blonde curls tickled the skin between her shoulder blades. She stretched languorously,  then set to work fastening the bra around her, and sliding the straps slowly into place, knowing all the while that John‘s eyes were drinking in each and every movement. She shook out the cotton pants and carefully stepped into them before straightening to tie the drawstring at her waist. Marlena pulled on the soft hooded jacket, and chuckled quietly to herself when she heard John groan low in his throat, obviously distressed at the fact that she was now covered up. Finally, she looked over at him.

 

“Do you… planning on getting dressed?” she smiled innocently.

 

“I was …I was just….uh….just….” he said a little awkwardly, almost as if he feared she’d be angry that she caught him staring,  then shook his head and chuckled.

 

“Wait a minute. You watched me. Shaving. Skulking in the doorway.” he said in that seriously playful voice only John had.

 

She tugged the zipper into place , and tried to look insulted. “First of all, I do not…  ‘skulk’.” she said demurely.

 

“Second of all…” she said coming around the foot of the bed to face him and stand with her hands on her hips, as she let her eyes cruise up his body from his bare feet over his towel covered middle, all the way up to lock on his eyes,  “…you weren’t naked at the time.”

 

John took a few steps toward her until they were almost toe to toe, his eyes full of mischief. “Admit it Blondie. You liked me looking.” he said in a low voice, and when Marlena didn’t so much as twitch, he continued and shrugged his shoulders easily.  “And as for the being naked part….I  could be naked, you know. All you have to do, is ask me …” he said.  “…nicely.” he added running a thumb lightly along the spot where the towel was tucked around his waist. Then for good measure, he added a little lift in his eyebrow that had Marlena’s heart positively singing.

 

Marlena couldn’t stop the impulse that had her reaching out and sliding her palms up his arms until they rested on his shoulders. She smiled at him, and John actually thought he could see the little flecks of gold sparkling in her eyes. That smile of hers did amazing things to him.

 

“I may just do that.” she said with a smile, squeezing the taunt muscles under her palms.  “But,  first things first.”

 

“And whats first?” John asked.

 

“Breakfast.” she said decisively. “Breakfast is first. Because, if I don’t get a cup of coffee very soon, things could get ugly.” She gave his shoulder a gentle pat, before rising on her toes to peck his baby smooth cheek before she turned away to sit on the edge of the mattress to pull on her socks.

 

John sighed, and watched her move, appreciating  the sway of her hips, and the way the soft material hugged that incredible ass of hers. He reached into his own well-packed suitcase and in short order pulled out a pair of boxer briefs, khakis, and a t-shirt. Everything was basic black so he didn’t have to worry about mixing and matching.

 

Basic Black. Hmmm. He had to remember to ask Blondie about that.

 

Stepping around to the other side of the bed, he dropped his towel and stepped into his underwear and pants in a few quick movements. With his back to her side of the bed, he straightened to fasten the clasp at his waist, he took a deep breath and spoke, and was amused at the fact that he actually had to try to keep the humor out of his voice.

 

“You do know, that I can feel you watching me; right?” he asked, tossing a look over at her.

 

Her smile was fast and warm. “You mean … the way you watched me?”

 

John nodded with a grin. “That’s not against the rules…..is it?” he asked, trying hard to sound stern and serious.

 

“Nope.”  she grinned with an adorable tilt to her head, that softened his mood even further.

 

“Good.” he said, picking up his shirt and tugging it on quickly. “Because I do like looking at you.“ he said…meaning it.  “And I like you looking at me.“ Before either of them had the chance to really enjoy the easy, comfortable banter, their heads pivoted to the doorway in unison a few seconds later, as a knock sounded from the hall.

 

“Aahh. That should be your coffee now, Mrs. Black.” John said as he headed toward the door.

 

“Perfect timing.” she moved to fall into step beside him, only to be halted when John’s arm shot out like an arrow that caught her straight across the chest, completely blocking her path.

 

“You, do not to go anywhere, before I check things out. Is that clear?” he asked looking down at her. All the lightness and fun had disappeared in an instant from his face, and his eyes were cool and hard.

 

The chill that skittered up her spine at the reference to the dangers they’d faced the last few days hit her like a hammer.

 

She remained still, and nodded at her husband.

 

John’s back stiffened, and he strode across the room. Pausing at the bedroom door, he glanced over his shoulder. “Thank you.” he said softly.

 

Marlena closed her eyes and said a lightning fast prayer that everything would be – normal. That John was just accepting a normal room service delivery from a normal waiter for them,  like any normal couple at any normal hotel….but things for them were far from normal. And as long as Stefano  DiMera was alive, they probably always would be.

 

Even listening as intently as she was, she didn’t hear so much as a  whisper of sound as John crossed the room to answer the door. Odd. All his years spent working as a cop and later working with the ISA were a blank to him, yet the experience and the skills he’d mastered served him to this day- and he didn’t even know it. At least not yet.

 

It wasn’t until Marlena heard the clatter of another room service cart and the somewhat nervous chatter of Albert the bellboy talking to John, that Marlena realized she was holding her breath.

 

Gulping clean air into her lungs, she leaned an arm on the carved post of the bed, and took a few calming breaths.

 

From the corner of her eye she caught a movement in the doorway, and she looked up to see John move a few feet into the room. His voice was a little louder than it needed to be, and she wondered why for only a brief moment.

 

“Uh, Blondie, your fresh coffee is here. Why not come out here, and have some breakfast?”

 

Marlena cocked her head to the side and looked at him, the question clear.    John moved into the room a few more paces, and lowered his voice.  Jerking a thumb toward the other room he said, “Albert –  your humble servant, is waiting for you to… grace him with your presence.” he said snidely, but without any real malice.

 

Marlena giggled. “Oh stop. He’s a sweet boy. You didn’t scare him again, did you?”

 

John tried to look wounded.  “No, I didn’t scare him.” John scoffed. “To tell the truth, I  kinda like the kid. ”

 

Marlena walked up to him, and placed a hand softly on his chest. “I’m glad.”

 

“Of what?”

 

“That your relaxing a little. Not being so hyper-sensitive about everyone.”

 

John‘s eyes got serious again, and his voice lowered as he closed the distance between them, his words inviting no further discussion. “That kid is harmless, as far as I can tell.“ he continued, stopping Marlena’s retort with a finger to her lips.

 

“But make no mistake Blondie. If I was to find out that that he had any connection whatsoever to Stefano – or was any kind of a threat to you….I’d rip his head right off his shoulders without so much as a second thought.”

 

Marlena could see he wasn’t exaggerating. Not even a little. She nodded.

 

“Now.” he softened his voice again, and tapped his index finger to the tip of her nose to see if he could lighten her mood.  Bingo,   he thought as her lips curled up at the corners.  “Go give your boyfriend out there a smile like that, and you can have that cup of coffee you were so desperate for.”

 

Marlena nodded and waited as John stepped out of her path. Her heart skipped a beat as John’s hand reached for hers to lead her from the bedroom. She opened her grip to link her fingers thru his, and felt John stiffen for only a split second before his fingers wound around hers possessively, and they walked into the sitting room side by side to see young Albert hard at work.

 

The boy had loaded the first pot of now cold coffee and a small covered dish onto a cart beside him to take away, and had already placed a new steaming pot on the coffee table in front of the couch where the rest of the food sat, while he adjusted the dishes in search of the perfect display.

 

The smell of  fresh coffee and something warm and sweet filled the room, making Marlena’s stomach grumble. Albert’s head snapped up as they entered, and his eyes immediately shot to Marlena’s face.

 

Not one to disappoint, Marlena beamed at the boy, who immediately blushed a deep crimson, and almost fumbled the dish he had in his hands.

 

Beside her, John chuckled, and Marlena squeezed his fingers in hers in a gentle warning, as they walked to stand near the couch.

 

“Oh Albert, that coffee smells… heavenly!” she said brightly, leaning over the low table and taking an appreciative sniff. “You have no idea how badly I need a cup!” she laughed.

 

Setting the dish on the cart Albert smiled shyly at her. “I told the dude….er, I mean the cook  in the kitchen to make sure it was nice and hot for you Mrs. Black. Just like you asked” he said proudly. “Oh and, I  um, brought you another plate of warm croissants and Danish too, cuzz I figured the other ones would probably be cold by now.”

 

“Oh! Oh, that’s so thoughtful of you Albert! Thank you, so much!”  Marlena gushed to the boy, who somehow managed to blush an even deeper shade of red.

 

John wondered how the poor kid didn’t pass out with all the blood that evidently rushed to his head, since his face looked like it was on fire. But he felt Marlena’s fingers squeeze his again.

 

“Honey, wasn’t that sweet?” she asked gazing up at him.

 

Oh Jeeez. John resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and nodded a little more enthusiastically than necessary. “Yes. Yes, it was….sweet” He looked at the boy again, realizing he was looking at John with almost as much pride as he had to Blondie. He could tell that John’s opinion mattered to him, and John had to admire the kid. He might only be a bellboy, but he was doing his damndest to be the best bellboy he could be.

 

“Umm,…” he mumbled, as if he was unsure if John was being serious or sarcastic. “There’s some fresh jams here too. Strawberry and  apricot.”

 

John decided to throw the kid a bone and put him out of his misery. “That’s very conscientious of you…Albert. Excellent judgment on your part.“ John said seriously, and watched the young boy light up under the weight of what he must have considered high praise. “You think ahead. You take the initiative. I admire that.”

 

“Thanks Mr. Black!” he crowed, his chest puffing out with pride, as he pumped John‘s hand.  “I figured that the rest of the food would be ok, but like, if there’s anything else you need- you just call me, and I’ll hook you up.” he said with pride.

 

John nodded. “I will.” he said seriously.  He could feel Marlena’s fingers flex around his, and he knew being nice to the kid had made her happy. And that thought – made HIM happy. Damn. Being ‘nice’ did seem to have its advantages. His own stomach rumbled loudly enough for Albert to take the hint and beat a hasty retreat, sneaking glances at Marlena all the way back to the door.

 

“I’ll get out or your way now Mr. Black…Mrs. Black, and remember…anything you need – anything at all ..” he tapped a finger to his chest, “…you just call for me.” he said proudly.

 

John let go of Marlena’s hand to walk to the door and usher Albert out, but not before extending his hand for a handshake. “Good work kid.” he said, and watched Albert blush all over again. John thumped him on the back with a wry smile, and closed and locked the door behind the boy.   Marlena sat on the couch with her hands folded in her lap, looking at him proudly.

 

“What?” he said with half a smile.

 

Marlena simply shrugged her shoulders innocently. “What? I didn’t say a thing.” she said, her smile a mile wide.

 

John shook his head. “I know that look, Blondie. And I know what your thinking. Maybe its  your…” he searched for the right word, “…influence. Must be rubbing off on me, huh?”

 

Marlena reached for the coffee pot, poured a cup and added a single splash of cream before handing the cup to John, who accepted the cup – fixed exactly as he liked it-  wordlessly, and then poured a second cup for herself. “No, I don’t think it’s me at all. I think it’s you.”

 

“Me?”   She only nodded, and added some cream and a bit of sugar into her own cup. Stirring it gently, she set the spoon on a linen napkin and took an appreciative sip. She groaned in delight as the hot coffee slid down her throat, burning away some of her anxieties, and spurring her mind forward.

 

“I think your sub-conscious is under the misguided assumption that you need someone – whether its me or someone else, to… tell you who you are. Or more to the point, who you were. And that’s not true.”

 

John looked at her, marveling at how seamlessly she slipped into ‘Doctor” mode.

 

“You don’t think that’s what I need?’ John said sinking into the soft sofa beside her.

 

She shook her head. “No. I don’t.” Marlena chose her words carefully. “ I’ve been thinking abut this a lot lately. And I think…I think what you need is to simply… allow yourself… to be yourself.”   John looked at the floor. “The ‘me’ that was on the disc, you mean?”   “No.“ she said simply, confusing him further. “Funny you should mention that actually. You see…”

 

Marlena set her coffee down and turned to face him, tucking one leg beneath the other as she angled her body toward his. “…I’m beginning to think maybe the disc wasn’t as important as we thought John, I know it’s a long shot but, maybe….maybe Stefano didn’t so much ‘erase’ your memory after all. Maybe….maybe he just – overwrote it.”

 

John looked at her with wide eyes.

 

“What??” he asked incredulously.

 

“I know this is going to sound a little ‘out there’, but stay with me for a minute. What if the disc DIDN’T hold all of your memories after all, but rather just the tools that helped Stefano manufacture new ones.“

 

When John’s face registered no signs of understanding, Marlena tried to simplify. “Think of it… “  she tried to choose her words careful even as a thousand and one thoughts rushed to the forefront of her mind. She continued animatedly, “…. well, think of your mind… as if it were a computer.”

 

John stiffened. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s me, a robot with a computer for a  brain.” he said with both hurt and anger in his voice.

 

“NO!“ Marlena snapped. “You are NOT a robot, John. That is Stefano talking, not you!” She grabbed John’s arm almost upending his coffee cup and sending the steaming liquid all over his lap, so John leaned to set the cup on the table.    “Hey, go easy! You’re the one who said…” he began.

 

”I know what I said, John, let me finish.” she  snapped and watched John make a motion with his hand that let her know he wanted her to continue.  Marlena took a deep breath as let the words pour out.

 

“For as intricate and as complex a mechanism as the brain is, its also a fairly simple machine. And in a very basic sense, it is quite similar to a computer. It stores millions and millions of pieces of information…in the form of memories. Some  of which are rather vague and wide-scope, and some that are infinitely more specific and finely detailed. “

 

John nodded.

 

“But unlike a computer; which has a pre-determined capacity for how much information can be held…the mind is limitless. There’s always room for more. More to learn, more to experience….more memories. A lifetime of memories.”

 

John nodded again and watched her, impressed as hell as she seemed to sink her claws into the topic at hand and began to weave an intricate and fascinating theory. “I’m with you so far Blondie.”

 

Marlena leaned forward and took a gulp of coffee, as if needing the caffeine to fortify her, before she stood up, and began walking. As she slowly paced, she continued to speak, trying to keep her thoughts in some sort of order.

 

“Now- correct me if I’m wrong, because…” she waved a hand at him, “… you know more about computers than I will EVER  know but….” she took a minute to gather her scattered thoughts. “You know how, well… when your typing….putting information into a computer, and you notice you’ve made a mistake; you can go back and fix it. You just … overwrite it and fix your mistake. And the computer simply replaces the old, incorrect information and records the new updated information, right? ”

 

“Yes.” John said, slowly, still unsure of exactly where she was going with all this.

 

“And then once the information is  the way you want it….you save it. Into the memory bank  of that computer. Or onto a disc, or into some other sort of virtual storage facility, where it can be accessed at a later date…” she spun on her heel and snapped her eyes to his, “…where the files can be over-written if need be. Right?”  Marlena asked, pulling John further along on her train of thought.

 

“Yes” John said again, becoming more and more intrigued.

 

“And even if you were to go back to that ‘storage facility‘, and you erased or over wrote a file from that computer… even though you’d lose most of the information, parts of it would still be there. Maybe only fragments…or pieces, and of course you’d, well,  have to know where to look…“ she paused, waiting for her mouth to catch up to her brain, “…but in some form or another,  the pieces would still be there. Hidden away, not easy to find…but still there. “

 

She walked the span of the room, her feet silent, her voice even, and her hands in constant motion as if that somehow helped her think. “Almost like a shadow.”

 

“So…what are you saying?  You think that Stefano replaced the ’old’  me with …the ‘robot’ me, is that it?” He looked at her skeptically. “Blondie. That sounds crazy.”

 

“This is Stefano. Of course it’s crazy.” Marlena said simply.

 

“Your serious?”

 

“John. All this time, all these months, we  thought we needed the disc to ‘re-load’ your memories. We blindly assumed that everything you knew…everything you were, was on that disc. But I’m not so sure that’s the case. John, we don’t have the disc. We haven’t had that things for months, and practically out of nowhere – your remembering.”  She looked at the man she’d loved for more years than she could remember, and saw something flash across his beautiful blue eyes. Hope, perhaps?  “The pieces. The fragments. The shadows.” She rushed forward and sat beside him, her hands reaching for his in his lap. “The memories John. They‘re coming back. Without a disc. ”  She searched his face, knowing exactly what he was thinking and praying he had enough of the old John in him to want to investigate this further. “The shadows are still in there. In you.”

 

John’s breath pushed from his chest, and he sat back against the pillows of the sofa. Could she be right? Could this be possible? Could it really be that simple? He looked at her. Her eyes were alive with determination and he could see that quickened pace of her pulse beating along the smooth column of her throat. “You really think it’s that easy?” he asked as an odd feeling began to tease his senses, and his vision waved in and out of focus.

 

Marlena‘s shoulder lifted only a fraction of an inch in uncertainty. “Oh I’m not saying it’s easy John. I’m not even sure that it’s a definitive explanation, but I think it could be possible. We’ve spent months agonizing over the fact that Stefano erased your memories, and yet somehow…saved everything onto that damn disc. If we think about it, even in comparison to how information is stored from a computer, it doesn’t seem possible that a persons whole life….could be contained to a single computer disc.”

 

John stared at her, his head beginning to throb. What is she’s right?  “Blondie I …..I don’t know.”  He lifted a palm to rub across his forehead as the pain came out of nowhere and hit him hard and fast. Oh dammit. It felt like in the blink of an eye, a thick, stifling wall of smoke was beginning to envelope his head, slowly suffocating him. His body buckled and bent in his seat.

 

Instantly alarmed, Marlena cupped his cheeks in her palms trying to force his head up. “John? What’s wrong? Look at me, John! John! Talk to me John!  Oh God! What‘s happening?!”

 

 

Chapter 12

 

John stared at her, his head beginning to throb. What if she’s right?  “Blondie I …..I don’t know.”  He lifted a palm to rub across his forehead as the pain came out of nowhere and hit him hard and fast. Oh dammit. It felt like in the blink of an eye, a thick, stifling wall of smoke was beginning to swirl around him,  enveloping his head, slowly suffocating him. His body buckled and bent in his seat.

 

Instantly alarmed, Marlena cupped his cheeks in her palms trying to force his head up. “John? What’s wrong? Look at me, John! John! Talk to me John!  Oh God! What‘s happening?!”

 

A thought flashed across his brain…he didn’t want her to leave him, but at the same time, he knew it wasn’t safe. Something wasn’t right, and he was torn by his desire to protect her, and his innate knowledge that he needed her more now than ever before. But this was bad. This was different than all the other times.  Faster. And harder.

 

John’s eyes slammed shut, unable to withstand the blinding ache that shot across his skull, as her voice got further and further away. He’d thought the headaches had finally stopped, and what shitty timing to have one now, when things; important things, were happening. The heartbeat he could hear pounding away inside his head got louder an louder, until it was deafening.

 

“Don’t.” he mumbled in a strangled voice.

 

“Go…” The air left his lungs, as he held his breath. The smoke was thick and dense. Breathing would be impossible…..so he didn’t even try.

 

Somehow, through the haze, he could still feel her and he tried to move, tried to shake her off and get her to safety. He didn’t want her near this ugliness that he himself couldn’t seem to run from. And even more so, he didn’t want her to see the weakness, to witness the vulnerability that slammed him when the headaches hit, but she wouldn’t be dissuaded.

 

He wanted to shield her, he wished he could be the buffer between her and the darkness, but it was getting harder to move, and the tightness that fisted in his chest felt like a solid, impenetrable wall.

 

Through the fog, he faintly heard her calling his name, her voice piercing through the din to reach him in the blackness. He heard her demanding that he breathe. But he couldn’t, he didn’t want to. If he did, it would mean taking  the dank,  grimy air he envisioned into his lungs.

 

No. He couldn’t do that.

 

Hell. He was going under. He could feel it start to overtake him. He wished he could save her, and he tried again to fight –  to push her out of the way,  to get her to safety.

 

But he couldn’t do that either. Nothing was working.

 

As he felt himself begin to succumb to the darkness, the only thing he felt- was regret.    It seemed that he would fail her after all.

 

Marlena screamed his name. “John!” His body was as stiff as a board and she could see his face getting redder as he held his breath in an unconscious and primitive urge to combat the pain. She had to reach him. Somehow. She had to keep her cool, but she had to get him to breathe.

 

She was a psychiatrist- and her patients were frequently stricken by paralytic fears, anxieties, and panic attacks. She knew what to do, she knew how to help her patients, she knew how to read the signs…. ordinarily.

 

But he wasn’t just any patient. And his situation was anything but ordinary.

 

Marlena threw her body on top of his, and climbed into his lap, her knees beside his hips, her face only a inch from his. “Breath! Breath for me! Dammit John!” she screamed, struggling to keep the power of her voice, before the fear swallowed her up. She had to get through to him. Panic attacks as violent and  severe as what John was experiencing, had the potential to end badly.

 

Very badly.

 

The seconds crawled by, as John began to succumb to the power of the pain and the lack of oxygen, until Marlena felt the rigidity in his body begin to weaken, catapulting her into full blown panic mode.

 

No. This is NOT how this was going to go. He was asphyxiating himself. The power of this attack was slowly allowing him to kill himself, by his own body’s psychological refusal to allow him to breathe.

 

She slapped him -hard, trying to snap him out of his paralysis. It had no effect. “John Black, you listen to me! I want you to hear me. Breathe for me,  John!” she yelled as she shook him and slapped him, trying to provoke some response. ANY response. Her resolve fortified, her voice demanding, but she was petrified to her core.

 

“Come ON! I‘m right here with you John. Your not alone.  Hear my voice John, and breathe!”  She struggled to hold it together, as things looked worse and worse. “I‘m right here John, and I love you. Do it John……do it for me! Breathe baby! Come on. Listen to me John…hear me!”

 

But she couldn’t seem to reach him. The panic that was gripping him was holding on with enormous force, and it was shutting him down.

 

No, damn it!  NO!   This couldn’t happen. She wouldn‘t let it, she thought as the tears began to pour in earnest.

 

“I refuse to lose you, do you hear me! John! Come on John, oh please baby, do it for me! I love you so much! Oh John please….BREATHE!” she screamed.   John could barely hear her now. Her voice was a hollow echo in his head.  The pain was everywhere. She sounded a million miles away.

 

She must have left me, he thought. I’m alone. She‘s gone. She must be gone…..

 

His mind spun and swirled. He was so weak now.  He couldn’t do this. He’d failed. He failed her and he’d failed himself.

 

So he decided to let go and just let the blackness take him. He could feel it all around him, clawing at him, trying to pull him under. And his feeble attempts to push it away, were having no effect.

 

Just before he gave up completely, or had time to understand how it could even have happened,  he felt the pressure in his chest splinter and break, and through the tiniest crack, somehow, she crawled into the thick air, and reached him.

 

He actually felt it. Her. He felt her closeness, felt her jerk his head up, felt her hands once again on his face, her body no longer next to him as he remembered, but astride him sitting across his lap,  as she to pulled him back from the edge. She stunned him with her strength, both physically and in the power of sheer determination. But it still wasn’t safe.

 

Meanwhile, Marlena fought to focus. She had to get him to breath! Still holding his head, she practically screamed his name over and over, only to have him deliriously fight her, fight to try to push her away. His face was viciously red, yet his lips began to take on a bluish tinge.

 

She looked back over her shoulder on the coffee table at their forgotten breakfast, and spied the artfully arranged dish of fresh fruit that sat chilling on a bed of ice cubes. Mindless of the food, she slammed her hand beneath the glass platter for a fistful of ice, and slapped it to the back of John’s neck.

 

John’s head snapped upright at the shock of the ice on his super heated skin, and he gasped as his chest expanded, his lungs filled, and his eyes snapped open, wide but un-seeing.  As the oxygen rushed into his lungs, Marlena continued to keep the ice to his skin, uncaring of the freezing water that dripped down his back soaking his shirt. His skin was on fire, melting the cubes at an alarming rate.

 

Marlena cried out in relief, and clasped him protectively against her body, all the while, her mouth at his ear, telling him, demanding for him to breath. Just keep breathing. She felt him begin to take in air, his breathing erratic and gasping.

 

“It all right John. I’m here. Listen to my voice. Your fine John, your safe. Just breath, baby. That’s it…nice and steady.

 

Oh God.“ She struggled to not fall apart. “ I’m right here with you, and your fine. Just breathe. Oh John, that’s good. That’s so good… I love you. Just breathe. Your OK.“ she repeated over and over.  Holding him pressed to her heart, his chin on her shoulder, she rocked him back and forth as she used to do to Belle and Brady and Eric and Samantha when they were small and woke from the midst of a bad dream. She could feel his stilted and labored breathing  becoming steadier and more normal. Her tears poured silently down her cheeks, thankful beyond rational thought that he’d made it over this petrifying hurdle.

 

John’s senses were returning slowly. He could feel the crushing pressure ease even as he realized how tightly she was holding him. Protecting him, as he’d tried unsuccessfully to do for her.

 

As his oxygen deprived body began to respond to the cleansing air, and so did his mind. John fought to move, but not erratically, as he had before, and slowly,  the world began to tilt back into place, and things began to make sense again. His brain began clicking.

 

He thought she’d left him.

 

He thought he was alone.

 

But she didn’t leave. And he wasn’t alone.

 

She’d stayed. And she was here now. With him.

 

He could feel everything about her. She was surrounding him. As close as she could possibly be. He could feel her body, he could smell her skin. Her voice was still warm at his ear telling him, it was OK. That he was safe.

 

That she loved him.

 

He willed his arms to move, and inch by inch, wrapped them somewhat clumsily around her. He needed her close, needed to feel the steady beating of her heart. He didn’t know how, and it didn’t really matter why, but he believed her. He believed her when she said he was safe, that everything was all right. That she was with him and he wouldn’t be alone. He’d been foolish to think she’d run if things got tough.

 

His Blondie was made of stronger stuff than that.

 

She saved him.

 

Again.

 

In a daze herself, Marlena began the descent back to reality. Slowly….so slowly, Marlena had felt his arms slide around her waist, to close around her body, and pull her tightly to him. Almost as if some invisible switch had been flipped, John’s pulse slowed, and his heart beat mellowed to a normal, even rhythm.

 

The hand she still clasped at the base of John’s skull now held only the tiniest slivers of ice. His back was soaked and his shirt was cold, and plastered to his body. She tossed the remaining bits of ice aside and ran her palms up and down his back soothingly, in deference to the wet fabric. She slowed the rocking of her body until they both sat still, with no sound other than their breathing filling the room.

 

Marlena turned her head a few scant inches to press her lips to his temple, and whispered his name against his hair. “John?”

 

When he didn’t respond, she repeated the single word. She felt him take a deep breath, and she prayed. Leaning back, not wanting to break the hold he still had around her body, she ran her palms up his back until she could once again hold his face in her hands. She brought her forehead to his, spoke his name one more time.

 

He looked into her eyes, his vision clearing in tiny increments,  seeing her for the first time since the wave had crashed over him, almost pulling him into oblivion. “Marlena.” he murmured, his voice weak and broken. She smiled at him, that beautiful smile that made him feel like anything was possible,  and he realized her face was wet with tears. He tilted his head back and looked at her more fully. “Are you all right?” he asked.

 

If it hadn’t been so frightening, it might have been funny. She nodded her head reassuringly at him. “Yes, I‘m all right. How about you, how do you feel?”   John’s eyes darted around, almost as if her were about to be upset with himself for something over which he had no control.

 

Her palms at his cheeks tightened. “John?” she said with more force than was probably necessary.

 

He tightened his arms around her and gave a quick hard little squeeze. “I’m ok.” he said with a small grin to eased her tension.

 

“I’m….confused, but, I’m ok. What… what happened?”   Marlena ran a hand across his sweaty brow. “You had a panic attack…or a headache…or both. It hit you pretty fast. And very hard.” she explained.

 

“Hmmm. Must be why I feel like I got hit by a train.” he cracked.

 

Ignoring that wise remark, she studied him. “Do you remember anything John?”

 

Sighing he tried to put his thoughts in order, and reassemble the memory. “We were talking. And then…” he paused. “… then there was pain. I don’t remember all the details. I remember… hearing your voice.  It was dark. And all I could hear was my heart pounding. And your voice.  And the smoke.  I remember… the smoke. ”   Marlena was puzzled, and the Doctor in her was automatically intrigued. “Smoke?”

 

John looked around, and realizing there was no smoke anywhere, figured it was a figment of his imagination. “Hmmm. There was no smoke, huh?” he shook his head trying to decipher what was real and what he might have just imagined.  “ It felt……it felt like, all of a sudden there was  – smoke.  Everywhere. It was all around me. Choking me.  And I …..I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t want to breathe.”

 

It made perfect sense, considering the way John had just behaved. Marlena nodded.  “What else do you remember?”

 

“I heard you yelling to me.” John recalled. “I tried to push you away from it, but….you wouldn’t go.” he looked up at her, with an uncertainty on his face. “I wanted you to leave…so you’d be safe. But I  couldn’t save you. And I tried…..tried…to push you. To go. But you wouldn’t go. You….” he locked his eyes on hers again, and tightened his grip once more around her middle. “You didn’t leave me.”

 

Marlena smiled gently at him, her fingertips gently touching his face, trying to sooth away the worry and the insecurities she saw there.

 

“I thought you’d gone. I……thought you left. And I was alone.” His lips curled at the corners even as the memory struck a chord of fear in him before he tapped it down. “I should have known better I guess.”

 

Marlena’s heart pounded. “Why?”   “I should have known you’d never do what I asked.” he made a lame attempt at a joke.

 

The tears filled her eyes at the reality of how serious and dangerous the last few minutes had been, and of differently they could have turned out.

 

“John…” she began, as a way to explain, but he stopped her with a tiny kiss.    “Sshh. I’m …teasing. I know, I know.  I don’t do that very well.” he added sheepishly.  Then he stared at her, his eyes examining her face, searching out every detail. “You didn’t leave me. I….heard you calling my name. Screaming my name.“ he clarified. “I couldn‘t hear much, but somehow, I heard you. ” he added almost proudly.

 

Marlena nodded.    “In fact, I think the entire Inn might have heard you.”  John added.

 

Marlena couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out, and didn’t care because she saw John truly smile.    “Blondie, you…..pulled me through that…that…whatever it was.”

 

Marlena nodded. “We are a team, and I’ll always be there for you .”  She sat back, still across his lap, his arms still refusing to let her go.

 

John’s voice was quiet. “You saved my life Marlena.”   She nodded. “As you’ve done for me countless times. As you did for me only a few days ago.”

 

John looked at her with a funny little tilt to his head. How did she know about that?

 

“In my bedroom. After  – after I was attacked.” she reminded him.

 

John put two and two together, and figured out who’d filled in the blanks. “Anna?”

 

Marlena smiled. “Yes. Anna told me that…. when you found me, I wasn’t breathing.”  She watched John’s eyes cloud over a little at the memory. “Anna told me you gave me CPR. You gave me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. You brought me back. ”

 

John didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to relive that horror anymore than he wanted to revisit the events that had just transpired. That day in the townhouse. The moment he’d seen her lying  helpless on the floor, the phone she’s needed to call for help just inches out of her reach, had both stunned and terrified him, yet thankfully spurred him into action instead of paralyzing him with fear.

 

Her voice jolted him back to the present. “You saved my life John. You…breathed life into me. Literally.” He looked at her, wondering how she’d managed to make such an impact on his life, both in the past -that he barely remembered, and in the present – which was etched in fine detail in his mind.

 

John leaned back, exhausted. “I suppose that means,  we’re even?”

 

Marlena chuckled. “Yea. I suppose we are.”   “You hungry?” he asked . Startling her with his radical topic shift, and making her laugh again.    “Sure. I could eat.” she laughed.

 

“Good. Then lets eat. ”

 

Marlena’s hands moved to the back of his neck, where she was reminded of the soaking wet shirt he still had on. “How about a dry shirt, first?” she said gently.

 

“Yeah. That too.” Marlena leaned to move off of him, but John’s grip still hadn’t loosened. She looked at him wordlessly wondering if there was something else bothering him. He seemed to be staring very intently into his lap, and she got the impression there was something more he wanted to say. Giving him the space he seemed to need, she waited quietly, until John lifted his head to look her in the eyes once again.

 

His voice was soft, but sincere. “Thank you.”   She tilted her head with a smile, and settled her lips softly over his, for a slow, easy kiss.  Leaning back a bit, she raked her fingers thru his hair, holding his gaze steady. “I love you. And I will do anything for you. Never doubt that, John. Never. “ she said before, slanting her mouth over his again.  His lips were sweet and soft and devoid of tension.  Her tongue searched for his until they met and tangled.

 

The kiss reached into his heart, letting him know he did, in fact, have one. His past may be a mystery that he’d have to uncover bit by bit, but the woman in his arms might just turn out to be the greatest enigma of all.

 

Strong, smart and determined, an obviously talented and skilled psychiatrist, fearlessly protective, dedicated to putting others first, and surely more loyal to him and to ‘them’ than he had a right to deserve. Lastly and perhaps most importantly…she was his. All his.

 

Ending the kiss with a nibble on her bottom lip, he lifted her off of his lap and set her on her feet. He stood on somewhat shaky legs, and stretched his neck from side to side before circling his arms in a familiar little ‘pinwheel’ action that made Marlena smile.  “I’m gonna get a dry shirt.” and reaching around to feel the wet waist of the slacks at the small of his back he added,  “And dry pants. Be right back.   Marlena tucked herself into the corner of the sofa and watched him walk back toward the bedroom, yanking the soaking wet shirt off as he went. She took a deep breath and tried to relax.

 

She’d wondered for months about these headaches John had been getting, and now it seemed that there was no discernible ’trigger’ for them. Evidently they  weren’t necessarily brought on by any kind of direct trauma or stress, since John had been totally relaxed and calm when this attack had struck him.  Kayla’s limited testing had shown abnormalities that had answered the basic question as to WHY he was having problems, but the inconclusive results had only served to raise a thousand more questions.

 

The doctor in her wished like hell that she could get him admitted to the hospital and have the proper tests run to get a more clear and concise picture of what was going on with him, but the chances of that happening without a heated battle between John and herself were slim.

 

The scariest part was the knowledge that if he’d been alone when this headache had hit, he might not have made it. She had to find a way to help him. And she had to do it now, before these attacks of his got any worse.  And maybe; just maybe,  the one method she’d been avoiding trying again for months,  was the one that would work. The one that always worked.

 

Hypnosis.

 

The last time they’d tried, John had recalled nothing of his past, no matter how she’d tried  to tease and coax his memories to bubble back to the surface by explaining so many ‘highlights’ of their life to him, to see if his subconscious would grab on to a memory and allow it to expand and flourish in his mind.

 

Of course, at the time, John had been about as ‘anti-hypnosis’  as he could possibly be. She’d known then that he’d come to her only grudgingly at the time and offered himself to her as a patient, in exchange for her promise to concede her quest for ‘the old John Black’ if it didn’t work. That was certainly changing now, as bits and pieces were slipping back to him, and he’d changed his mind about his total avoidance of his past but ….had he changed enough?

 

Maybe her mistake was trying too hard. Maybe she was pushing too much. Maybe she should just let things happen naturally.

 

John walked back in the room wearing another pair of ink black slack and navy blue collared shirt open at the throat. He sat heavily in the armchair next to the sofa and reached for his coffee. He looked tired. She knew the toll those few minutes of torment had taken on her. She could only imagine that it had been ten times as taxing on John.

 

He looked over at her, and mustered a half grin. “You were the one who was so in need of coffee Blondie. Drink up.” he raised his cup in her direction before taking a sip. “And lets eat something. I’m starving.” he said, with a lightness in his voice she knew he didn’t really feel.

 

But she complied to put him at ease. Marlena leaned forward, grabbed a fork, and speared a chunk of watermelon. John nodded his pleasure at seeing her eating, and he relaxed somewhat. He grabbed a croissant from under the covered dish and took a huge bite, and chased it with a gulp of barely  warm coffee.  He looked at her nibbling away on her fruit and wondered how long the companionable silence would last. When she leaned over a minute later and set down her fork, he knew. Time for silence was over.

 

 

Chapter 13

 

Marlena took a breath and held his eyes. “John.” she began. “I need you to understand something. Hypnosis is not a quick fix. This not a magic trick. “

 

“I know, you’ve said that before.” he sighed impatiently. “But even though that one session we had that day in your office didn’t produce any results, doesn’t mean it can’t work now, right?”

 

“No. Your right, it’s entirely possible that now that you’ve begun to remember things without the prodding of hypnosis, your mind may just be …“ she searched for the right word, “ malleable enough to release it’s secrets on its own.”

 

John smiled a wry grin. “ ‘Release it’s secrets‘? Ha! Makes it all sound so mysterious.”

 

“In it’s own way, yes, it is mysterious.” Marlena moved to the edge of the couch and laid her hand on John’s thigh. “But I need you to keep in mind, that perhaps the most important aspect of any sessions we might have….is trust. I need you to trust me John.”

 

He looked at her questioningly. “You can’t seriously believe that I don’t…do you?”

 

Marlena smiled and shook her head. “No. I know you do. But I need for you to understand that when you give me that trust, you will also …give up a certain degree of ….control.” she watched John’s face tighten as her words began to sink in. “Only for the duration of our sessions, of course.“ she clarified. “I need you to understand that while you’re under hypnosis, it will be my job to try to …lead your mind back in time, to re-discover all the memories we believe are buried there. Even if its not ….exactly where you’d want to go.”

 

She could see John struggle slightly with the realization that she was right. While it obviously wasn’t his preference, he knew there was no other real choice. She needed him to be assured that she would never try to control him the way Stefano had, but she did need him to be relaxed and agreeable enough to allow her to take the reigns, and see exactly what it was that remained hidden in his mind.

 

Marlena’s fingers flexed on his leg. “Hypnosis – when done properly – is merely a means to discover what’s stored in your subconscious. Its to unlock those memories that; for whatever reason, the mind has seen fit to bury. It is NOT a tool for me control you… as Stefano did.“ She said effectively zeroing in on exactly the very concern that was flashing in his head. “It is certainly NOT for me to try turn you into someone else. I would never, EVER make you do anything you didn’t want to do John. You need to know that.”

 

The tears in her eyes not only told him she was telling the truth, but also that it would be a struggle for her as well. The look on her face, the intensity of the dedication he knew she was willing to lay on the line for him pulled at something deep inside him. Something he was only now beginning to recognize. Something familiar and elemental, and not completely unpleasant. Had he been any normal man, one whose past with this extraordinary woman wasn’t a murky, muddled puzzle, he might think he was starting to fall in love with her. But that couldn’t be.

 

Could it?

 

He took a deep breath and surged to his feet. He couldn’t dwell on that now. He had to concentrate. He stretched out his arms flexing the tense muscles and worked the kinks in his neck out again with deliberate tilts of his head. The process seemed to help him push everything from his mind, and focus on the new task at hand. He looked down at her silently watching his every move . So patient, so quietly strong. But he knew under all that patience and strength, she was a jagged bundle of nerves, just as he was. But he couldn’t think about that either.

 

They had a job to do. But a thought occurred to him. He turned suddenly and pinned her with his eyes. “What if…” he began.

 

“What if…what?”

 

“What if I do remember more, and I’m still…I’m still…..me.” he said with a touch of fear in his voice. Marlena took a breath as if she were going to speak, but John held up a hand to halt her. “I know. You said you love me. But what if ….what if its never the same. Between you and me, I mean…” He looked at her intently. “Can you handle that?”

 

Marlena thought for a few seconds. “I guess I’ll have to.”

 

John chuckled bitterly. “Because you’ve got no choice? I mean, what if I do remember us being married and having Isabella and Brady and Samantha and ….that other one, the twin – what’s his name again?”

 

“Eric.” Marlena supplied with a sigh, and fought to not roll her eyes.

 

“Yeah, him. What if I remember them and I remember you? What if I remember all that…and I’m still – like this. Then how are you going to feel, huh?”

 

Marlena chose her words carefully. “I’ll be thankful and grateful to have my husband back.”

 

“Even if you end up married to a man whose past is a complete blank?”

 

Marlena surprised him by laughing. He didn’t realize that was pretty much how their life had always been. Not that she’d ever cared. Her love for him far outshone her desire to know every little bit of his past. He also didn’t realize that he was more worried about how SHE would feel with the results of the hypnosis – whatever it may be.

 

John looked at her like she were crazy. “Woman, you laugh at the craziest things.”

 

Marlena’s eyes sparkled as she looked at him. “You are so concerned with how this will affect me, and how I’ll handle whatever you remember and whatever you’ve forgotten.”

 

Not following her, John spread his hands. “So?”

 

“So. You’re a lot more like the “old” John than you realize. “

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean your thinking of someone else, before yourself. Your not reacting selfishly or in a self centered way. Your putting me first.” she smiled quietly.

 

John realized she was right, and shook his head in amazement. “Sort of, the way you do with me?” he said, his eyes pulling at her.

 

Marlena grinned, touched. “Sort of. So. What do you say we give this a try?”

 

He nodded.

 

“Trust me John.” It wasn’t a question.

 

He’d do this. He’d do it for himself, and by damn, he’d do it for her. And yes. He’d have to let her lead his mind as she saw fit. There was no one else he’d ever even dream of relinquishing that kind of power to. And then maybe, just maybe, they could make this work out. He reached out to stroke a finger over the line of her jaw, and felt a little flutter go through him when she raised her eyes to his and smiled at him.

 

“I trust you. Let’s do this Blondie.”

 

Marlena took a deep breath of her own. “All right.” she stood from the couch and pointed to the spot she just vacated. “How about if you lie down and get comfortable and relax?” She turned and slid the drawer of the end table beside her open and was pleased to find not only a local phone book, but a small tablet and pen, both embossed with the name and logo of the Salem Inn.

 

He smirked, trying to be flip. “Ha! You shrinks. You need to make your notes? And you really need to do ‘the couch thing‘ huh?” he cracked.

 

“What I need is for you to be relaxed and comfortable .” she said without a single trace of amusement.

 

Chastised, he mumbled a “Sorry.“ and then sat instead of laid in the corner of the couch where she’d indicated, and looked up to her. She began to move toward the wing chair that sat off to his right, but before she could get very far, she felt his hand circle her wrist, effectively stopping her in her tracks. He never said a word, but it seemed he didn’t have to. He tugged gently and pulled her to sit beside him on the sofa. He didn’t want her too far away.

 

In complete ‘doctor’ mode, Marlena accepted the change of direction in stride and automatically curled up beside him, tucking her leg beneath her, and kept her voice, low, slow and even as she forged ahead.

 

“All right John. I want you to take a few nice, calming breaths, and just relax.” she said in a practiced tone.

 

Without any further discussion, he did as she instructed. Her voice snaked into his head like warm honey, and he felt at ease for the first time since he’d awoken this morning with her curled against him. He pulled in a deep breath, and slowly let it out, as her voice kept up its steady, dulcet rhythm.

 

“That’s good John. That’s very good. I want you to clear your mind, and with each exhale, let the tension flow out of your body.” She placed her hand lightly on his shoulder, testing that tension level.

 

Jesus. John was solid hard muscle as it was, but beneath her fingers, he practically vibrated with pent up nervous energy.

 

She spoke again, her voice belying none of the fear that was coursing through her. “ Remember John, you are safe here. I am right by your side, and that NOTHING and NO ONE can hurt you. “ she said. His chest expanded and contracted with each exchange of oxygen, and after a minute or two, she thanked the heavens when she felt some of the tightness begin to ease slightly. Marlena selected a topic she thought would make him feel secure. “I want you to think of… me, John. Of what you’ve remembered so far about me.”

 

John just nodded. “ All right.“ Closing his eyes, he pushed away the fear and tried to clear his mind and focus on the images he’d remembered. Images of her.

 

On a deep breath he focused once again on the pieces of memories of Marlena, smiling at him as she smeared whipped cream across his lips. Smiling at him as she had on the day they were married. Smiling at him just this morning as she watched him shave. That smile calmed him. Comforted him. His body relaxed into the cushions, and his head rested on the back of the chair as he began to drift.

 

“Good. We’ve been here many times before, John. You and I. And we’ve always done what we set out to do. And we will again. So.” she said decisively, “ I want you to just focus on me…and together…we’re going to go back.” Marlena watched his chest, as his breathing became slower and deeper, as John relaxed. “ I’m going to count backwards John. And as I do, things will come into focus.” Marlena did her very best to keep her voice steady, and silently prayed, for a little divine intervention. “10.….9.…. Your doing wonderfully John.”

 

John’s head tilted in a tiny, tired nod, making Marlena realize he was starting to go under.

 

The pictures in his head comforted him somehow. How could they not, when she kept smiling at him like that?

 

“8.….7.….6.…..think back… of you and I, John. As you do, the images will become clearer and the memories will stay for you to see.”

 

John’s face lost all that tense, harsh force, as he slid amiably into a trance. His body relaxed into the couch. Marlena got a very good feeling about this little session.

 

“5.…4… We’re together John. And when I get to ‘1’ you’ll be able to see the images clearly. Marlena took her own deep calming breath. “ 3…2…1. OK John. Tell me where you are.”

 

“I’m at the Inn. With you. In our suite.”

 

“That’s good John.” Marlena smiled, and decided to jump right in. “But lets go back a little further if you can. Back to…to when we…met, again. Do you…” she crossed her fingers and forged ahead. “…do you remember the night in Stefano’s lab under the DiMera mansion?”

 

“The night you found me? In that hell-hole. Yes. I remember.” He said slowly.

 

“That’s good John. Tell me what you remember about that night. “

 

“You smelled good…” Marlena saw him start to grin, but then his forehead creased, and Marlena could detect the return of something unpleasant to his mind.

 

“What else John?” she prodded. “What else do you remember?”

 

“You…you took those glasses off me. I hated them. They made everything…it all just …everything disappeared.“

 

Marlena didn’t understand that, but she waited while he continued.

 

“And you… you got me out. Out of those God damn cuffs. That chair with the…” John’s head started to snap from side to side, and his hands balled into fists, even as they rested on his thighs “I hate that thing….”

 

“It’s alright, John. We’re not in the lab. Your not in the chair. Your free and your safe right here with me.” Marlena was quick to reassure him.

 

He visibly calmed at her words. “You set me free. I got away from there once, but Stefano told me…he told me if anyone saw me, I’d be arrested.” John’s body tensed again. “He told me I was a criminal. And he held me there. Like a prisoner. He put me in that chair, and cuffed me. Then he put those fucking glasses on me. And I couldn‘t …move….”

 

Marlena‘s hand on his shoulder tightened. “You’re not there John. You’re free. There are no more cuffs. You’re not a prisoner. You’re free.”

 

John nodded his head. “No. I‘m free. I’m free now. No more…no cuffs.” He repeated.

 

Marlena wanted to veer away from what obviously was upsetting him, especially after what he‘d just been through, but there was information they needed to uncover. “Just listen to my voice John, and know that your safe.” She continued to reassure him. “As long as you can hear my voice John, you’ll be safe.“ Her mind was still stuck on something he said a minute ago. “John? I need you to think back for me. You said that, you said the glasses “made everything disappear”. Do you remember?” Marlena tested him.

 

“Of course I do.” came the quick response.

 

“Good. Now. Tell me John. What disappeared?”

 

John paused, and the expression on his face changed to one of sadness. “You. And me, and my…life. Everything…disappeared.”

 

Jesus. That horrible contraption must have had something to do with how Stefano altered John’s memory. “John. What happened when Stefano put you …”

 

Before she could even finish her question the memories rushed forward, and John spoke. “He put the glasses on me so I could see you. But – I couldn’t reach you. I couldn’t move.” His hands made involuntary jerks as if they were restrained, even though they rested freely atop his tense thighs. “His voice was in my head…the bastard told me over and over…. that I was going to lose you. Then he…” John’s voice cracked, taking Marlena’s heart with it. “…he did it. He took you away… the pictures in the glasses disappeared… “ he said sadly. “…you disappeared. One by one, he took all the pictures away.” he whispered. “He wiped them all away…” John’s face was lined with anger and pain.

 

Marlena swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I’m here John. I’m….”

 

“I tried to get away, but Rolfe…he’d come with the needles. And I kept slipping under. I felt like I was drowning. Deeper and deeper.”

 

Marlena wiped at the tears that streamed down her face with the backs of her fingers, and tried to keep her voice steady. “Oh John…”

 

“He…. told me, you were gone. Told me – that I was alone now.” John’s voice cracked. “He said I’d forget. The son-of-a-bitch said he’d MAKE me forget. And he did it,, he…wiped it all away. “ John shook his head resigned. “It….it hurt too much to watch you go. To watch you disappear. I didn’t want to look at the pictures anymore. It was easier…. to forget.”

 

Marlena covered her mouth with the palm of her hand to stifle the sobbing groan that hollowed the pit of her stomach.

 

Tears leaked from John’s eyelids and slid down over his cheeks, breaking Marlena’s heart at the pain he’d endured. “I tried to hold on, to keep you there, but he kept coming back. And Rolfe would start with the damn needles again. And then everything …would get blurry. And….” John’s hands opened his fingers spread wide, and Marlena reached to twine her fingers through the hand closest to her. He immediately latched on and held tight, pulling their clasped hands to his chest.

 

John’s breathing changed, turning to a heavy, impatient pant, and Marlena felt the need to change direction. She swallowed her tears, and somehow spoke in a semi-normal tone. “It’s OK John. I’m right here. You’re NOT alone.”

 

John calmed again at the sound of her voice. “You saved me …Marlena. You saved me.” There was not only wonder in his voice…but pride as well. John had always been so proud of her, so supportive. THIS was the man she loved.

“Yes, my love. Always.” Marlena whispered.

 

“Like before.”

 

“Before?” She watched John’s brow wrinkle again and wondered what else he was thinking. Was he remembering something else?

 

 

Chapter 14

 

John’s breathing changed, turning to a heavy, impatient pant, and Marlena felt the need to change direction. She swallowed her tears, and somehow spoke in a semi-normal

tone. “It’s OK John. I’m right here. You’re NOT alone.”

 

John calmed again at the sound of her voice. “You saved me …Marlena. You saved me.” There was not only wonder in his voice…but pride as well. John had always been so proud of her, so supportive. THIS was the man she loved.

 

“Yes, my love. Always.” Marlena whispered.

 

“Like before.”

 

“Before?” She watched John’s brow wrinkle again and wondered what else he was thinking. Was he remembering something else?

 

Once again, John‘s mind seemed to slip back through the years, until suddenly – BOOM, there he was. “I can’t see you , but…I hear you. I hear your voice…when you … I can’t believe you came….“ amazement evident in his voice. “Oh, but….You shouldn’t

have come here….” he began, then struggled to focus on the details, and his face took on an angry pose. “They used me……to trick you. He brought you here….he tricked you!“

 

“Who tricked me John? “ she asked trying to follow.

 

Then something must have come into focus. His face hardened and he spit out a single

distasteful word. “Stefano.”

 

Marlena wasn’t

surprised, but she was a little confused. Stefano had lied and deceived them so

many times, John could be recalling dozens of different instances. John‘s mind

had obviously made another leap back in time, but it was anyone‘s guess where

he‘d end up. She had to let him follow the memory and see what they could

uncover . “It’s alright John. Take your time, and just talk to me. Tell me what

you see. Where are you, do you know?”

 

John’s mind spun. Once again the image that floated into his head was watery and dark. He could feel the cold steel that circled his wrists, and the grime that covered his

body as he lay on the floor. And the smell. Dank and musty, the earthy smell of dirt swept over him. “I don’t… I don’t know where it is. But…it‘s dark. And it…“ he stammered. “You shouldn‘t be here. It‘s not safe here.”

 

“John.” she said with authority in her voice. “You are here with me at the Inn, and we’re safe, remember? This is just a memory. Do you understand me?”

 

His face relaxed somewhat, but he still seemed agitated, as he struggled to hold onto the memory without letting it overtake him. Marlena went on alert.

 

“John, just take it slow, and tell me what you see. Describe it to me.”

 

John shook his head. He didn‘t want to look at this, didn‘t want to see her there in that

place. She didn‘t belong. He struggled to tell the past from the present, but he knew he had to get her to safety. “I don’t want him anywhere near you. And he’s here….the bastard is here…. Somewhere.” John sneered. “Hiding. Like a rat.” his voice was full of hatred.

 

Marlena saw John‘s body tense again, and knew that whatever it was John was zeroing in on….it wasn‘t pleasant. Tiny beads of sweat popped out across his forehead, and

the vein in his temple began to pulse, as his jaw again tightened visibly.

 

Marlena hated to put him through such obvious discomfort, but she knew it was the only way to force the memories that were buried in his subconscious back to the surface.

“It’s alright John. There’s no one else here. You’re safe with me. You‘re remembering your past. ” she soothed quietly. “Just take your time and tell me what you see…and remember it CAN’T hurt you now. It just can’t….”

 

John‘s voice rushed forward as the image in his head came into focus. The sounds of the chains that rattled as he tried to move, rang in his ears like steeple bells. “Oh my God! He held me… in a…. a dungeon?“ Still holding his fingers tightly twined with hers, he lifted his hands as if they were still bound by the shackles he still saw in his mind. “The son-of-a-bitch kept me… locked up! Chained…to the wall? Chained to a fucking wall?! ” John was incensed.

 

Oh. My. God. Marlena‘s mind reeled. Maison Blanche?

 

“Yes, John.” She confirmed.

 

“Where is it! Tell me! Tell me now!” he demanded, his breathing short and stuttered.

 

Marlena debated supplying him with information, preferring him to remember on his own, but was afraid his impatient agitation could bring about another anxiety attack. She

proceeded – cautiously. “It was in New Orleans…at a place Stefano called…Maison

Blanche.” she said softly, as if even speaking the words still frightened her.

 

“Yes.” he said slowly, through gritted teeth, as his mind connected the name to the memory. “Maison Blanche.”

 

Somehow his brain had rocketed backwards and deposited him smack back into one of the darkestperiods in his past, when after ripping away the life he’d forced John to

create as “Roman Brady“, Stefano had tried to erase “John Black” too. Stefano had used a recording of John’s voice, begging for Marlena’s help, knowing she’d never refuse his plea – to get her to come to New Orleans. Before long, they were both trapped in the poisonous walls of Stefano’s Southern manse, while that maniac used a multitude mind altering drugs and evil methods to try to wipe away John’s past, in yet another feeble and perverse attempt to win his “Queen”.

 

John still held her hand, her fingers still laced through his as if he were petrified to break

that contact and let her go. Bringing it close to his face, he pressed it to his lips, and inhaled deeply. He somehow instinctively beckoned for the contact he knew would ground him. The scent of her skin was what he craved, and he knew it would chase away the putrid smell of the place he’d recalled, the place that was so vivid in his mind.

 

And he was right. It did. Each breath seemed to work as a buffer, pulling him further and further back until he could ‘watch’ from a distance, but he was no longer a part of the

memory. “You came to me. In that horrible…dungeon. You came …and found me.

You…. told me to hold on.”

 

His breath warmed her, and the knowledge that the mere touch of her hand gave him comfort, was another little ray of hope to Marlena.

 

“You told me….. not to let him win. You gave me… the strength … to fight. ”

 

Marlena was still reeling. “Yes, John. And you know what? You did exactly that!“ Marlena was quick to assure him. “You beat him. You refused to let him control you. We ….we got away from that evil, awful place. Together…we got away.” she said, choosing not to dwell on the specifics. She stroked a hand across his forehead, wiping

away the perspiration.

 

“You.” He breathed. “You saved me. You were there with me. ” John pulled in a deep breath as once again his mind shuffled through some invisible stash of memories from

his past. “ Your always there… aren‘t you. You‘re always….“ his voice faded as the thought began to slide from his mind.

 

“Always.“ Marlena smiled and nodded even though he couldn‘t see her. She decided not to push him for more details on Maison Blanche, but knew she needed to keep chipping away at the wall that was holding his memories at bay. She struggled to speak

quietly, and keep her voice level. “OK, John, your doing wonderfully. ”

 

John still seemed to be struggling, but the sound of her voice helped to settle his nerves a bit. At her instruction, he took several deep, cleansing breaths, and the images

seemed to slip away as easily as they’d come.

 

Marlena pondered her next move. She wanted to press forward while John was still in an agreeable frame of mind. Plus, she wanted to shift his focus a bit, but this day had been difficult on him already. She decided to let the decision be his. She watched him closely.

 

“Your doing a great job John. And when we‘re done here, you‘ll remember everything we‘ve discussed here today. Do you understand me?”

 

John nodded.

 

“Do you think you want to take a break, or shall we keep on going?”

 

John relaxed as his mind down-shifted. His hands lowered to his lap once again, and he was calm and composed. “I’m ok.” he nodded, giving her permission to proceed.

 

Over the next hour, Marlena led John down a dozen roads, some of them yielding important pieces of information of his past – THEIR past, and some turning up nothing but blank blocks of time. John had a few memories of their life together, just more random scenes that Marlena desperately tried to piece together, but no matter how she tried to guide his thoughts in a cohesive way, John’s recollections refused to be categorized or cataloged. Marlena rejoiced none the less, since each memory was another slice of their history, and was yet another piece of the huge puzzle that was his past.

 

John recalled odd things, like ‘finding a poster in an old farmhouse‘, ’a weird blue key’ and ‘searching for a flower in the jungle’. Marlena had to laugh when John asked

“…and who the hell would ever believe I was a priest?”, knowing that even though John was uncovering so much, he still had no inkling of how intricate and twisted of a past it was that they were trying to reassemble.

 

She knew that Sami had told him about their affair, and that infamous night of the Titan

party when she’d seen them ‘hooking up’ on the conference table. When Marlena

mentioned it to him, he smiled, and chuckled. “Must have been a good show.”

 

“John.” Marlena said in a warning voice. “Don’t be crude.”

 

“Sorry sweetheart. “ he said without a trace of regret and his sneaky smile still lighting his face.

 

And so it went. In small steps and awkward stages. He had a few other scattered memories of their wedding – mostly images of her, but thankfully, seemed to recall nothing of Princess Gina and her involvement in their lives, nor did he seem to remember any of the havoc she created to mar the perfection of their honeymoon in Hawaii. He recalled vague images of Brady, like his first day of school and a few of the ‘Twinners’ growing up. He even had a memory of the night Belle was born, but couldn’t understand why Marlena had been in a cabin and not a hospital.

 

Marlena began to tire, her own mind overloaded with information, and the tiny pad of paper she’d had, was now filled on every available millimeter of space with scribbled notes and things she hoped she’d be able to study further later on.

 

Marlena decided to take only a few minutes more, and try to keep the focus on the people closest to John since those were the memories that tended to stick out in

people’s minds most prominently. John remembered Isabella , but not in very much detail. His recollections of Shawn and Caroline Brady were sketchy too. Though it made Marlena laugh when John wrinkled his forehead and asked, “Did I……did I buy them ….the Brady Pub?”

 

John progressed slowly, recalling more odd and random images. Just when Marlena was about to bring him out of hypnosis, he tilted his head in question. “Wait. “ he paused and Marlena could see he was trying to connect some imaginary dots in his mind. “Who is….Kristen? Kristen…oh wait. Kristen DiMera? I was… involved…. with a

DiMera?”

 

Not exactly a subject Marlena liked to dwell on personally, since she’d put them all through hell with her lies and her manipulations, but John needed to remember the bad

as well as the good.

 

“What do you remember about her John?” she asked, knowing it was a loaded question.

 

“She was evil.” he stated simply. “Typical of a DiMera.”

 

Marlena grunted in agreement. “Yes. Although, to be fair, she wasn’t always evil. But as I’ve tried to explain to you, being exposed to the DiMera way of life is never a good thing. “ Marlena swallowed and tried to keep any negative inflection out of her voice. “At one time, though, you… you loved Kristen.” Marlena said quietly.

 

John’s eyes squinted tightly, as if he were having another memory that he didn’t want to

see, making Marlena worry that she had pushed him too far.

 

John’s head snapped back as if he were standing at attention. “No.” he snapped loudly.

 

Marlena wondered what brought forth so forceful of a reply “Well, it is complicated John…” she started to say, before his words cut her off.

 

“No, its not. She didn’t believe in me…she didn’t stand up for me. Even I know- you can’t call that love?”

 

Marlena stared at him. Kristen hadn’t started her acquaintances with the people of Salem on a bad note, but she certainly made a complete 360 degree turn-around in her final years.

 

John seemed to be struggling to pin-point something, as he searched his mind. She wondered what was he….

 

“You did though.”

 

Marlena’s breath caught, and she waited for him to continue.

 

“You were there… the whole time…you were with me, in…. Aremid.” John had the faintest trace of a smile.

 

“Oh!” Marlena gasped. “Yes! Yes… that’s wonderful John.” she said surprised and delighted at yet another piece of history he’d uncovered. “That’s right, John. I was there with you.”

 

John suddenly got very calm and all the tension left his body. He was completely relaxed and at ease. Marlena wondered why, since it was not an easy time for him. They put him in the gas chamber for God’s sake, she thought with a shudder that chilled her to the bone. He’d been accused of killing Tony DiMera, but as later years had proved, it was nothing but a ruse.

 

And, as it often happens with psychological breakthrough’s, when she was least expecting something isolated and random in the midst of a hypnosis session to serve as a trigger for John reaching a remarkable milestone, it happened out of the blue. And it completely blindsided her.

 

“You were there. You stayed. Through the whole trial. You believed in me. ” John said with a quiet smile, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “That’s why I wrote you the letter, Doc.”

 

Marlena’s mouth dropped open in utter shock. Her mind skidded to a halt and her body went completely immobile as the room, the space…the very air around them seemed to disappear. Her eyes were glued to his face, and she watched the words pour one by one from his lips.

 

“You stood by me – even when… even when they sentenced me to die.” Unlike his memory of Maison Blanche, he wasn’t angry and panicking, but rather resigned and sad. His voice was softer now, and seemed to reach her ears from miles away. “But you stayed by my side. You fought for me. Fought to give me a future… with our children. I knew….I knew I couldn’t leave this world without telling you. You had to know .”

 

Marlena sobbed silently, and tried to find her voice. “The letter? You…you remember writing me that letter?” she said on a choking cry.

 

John sighed deeply and nodded, and Marlena could tell he was exhausted, but knew how major this discovery was for him. For both of them. So she pressed gently forward. “Tell me what you remember.” she managed.

 

“ I was in jail. I remember… wanting to tell you …that I’d always loved you. I was… scared I’d never have the chance to say it. So I wrote it all down….” then his voice drifted off, and he tilted his head back against the cushion and sighed. “I had to tell you, Doc.” he whispered.

 

Marlena felt as though her heart grew 10 sizes. If there was any way possible for her to love this man more than she did, she just couldn’t imagine it. And yet – there it was.

 

“Rest, John. Just, rest now, my love.” she said, wiping her tear streaked face.

 

Dear God. Never in a million years had Marlena thought an average hypnosis session could yield quite so much information, but then again, John wasn’t your average patient. No, she smiled, there was nothing average about her husband. And this WAS her husband. Bit by bit, step by step, John was proving his resilience, and making his way back to her.

 

Today was even more monumental is getting John back to himself. That scary episode this morning had obviously helped demolish some invisible roadblock in his mind, proving that their theory may very well have been correct. His memories were there. Buried well by Stefano for sure – but they were there.

 

Oh my. What a day. From the very second she opened her eyes, it had been one tiny miracle after another. She leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to his damp temple. She spoke quietly, her mouth close to his ear.

 

“All right, John. You’ve done an amazing job. I’m going to bring you out now, and when you wake up, you’re going to remember everything we’ve talked about today. All right?” She dried the tears from her face, not wanting him to be alarmed to wake and see her crying.

 

John nodded, easily.

 

“Now, just listen to my voice. I’m going to count to three, and when I do, I want you to open your eyes. You’re going to feel relaxed and rested, and your going to remember everything we talked about.” she repeated. “OK?”

 

“OK.” he said companionably.

 

Marlena smiled, and fought the urge to just grab him and kiss him, so was just so damn excited. Controlling her voice, she counted slowly. “One. Two. Three. Open your eyes John. “

 

John’s eyes fluttered open, and darted around the room before he lifted his head sharply off the back of the couch. Taking in his surroundings, he seemed to get his bearings after a minute, and eased back against the cushions once more. He looked at her, and she could almost see the memories falling into place in his mind.

 

“Hi.” Marlena smiled softly, giving him the chance to re-acclimate himself.

 

“Hi.” he said still a bit dazed.

 

“How do you feel?”

 

“A little, uh…fuzzy.” he admitted. “But good.” It took a minute or two as the memories swam around in his mind, giving him an odd sense of comfort. He couldn‘t help but smile, “I remembered.” he stated catching her eye. “ I remembered a lot, didn’t I?” pride evident in his voice.

 

In the space of a heartbeat, Marlena’s eyes filled with tears again, and try as she might, she couldn’t prevent them from leaking out of the corners of her eyes. When she nodded in joyful agreement, she sent them streaming silently over her cheeks.

 

John reached out with tips of his fingers, and brushed them gently from her face. “Don’t cry. Don’t be sad.”

 

“I’m not sad. I’m … happy.” she said with a weak laugh.

 

He grinned, and arched his eyebrow in that way of his that always gave her butterflies. “I know. You cry when you’re happy, too. Don‘t you?” he said with only a little question in his voice.

 

“Yeah.” Marlena laughed. “Sometimes I do.”

 

John nodded and pulled in a deep breath.

 

“Tired?” she asked.

 

John actually stopped to think about that for a minute. “No, not really. He admitted. “ Just….” he searched for the right word, “…relieved, I suppose. I didn’t want today’s little waltz down memory lane to be a total bust like the last one was.”

 

Marlena reached out and laid a hand on his chest, comforted just to feel the steady beat of his heart beneath her palm. “Today, “ she began “ was no bust. In fact, today, is what I would call ‘extraordinarily successful‘.

 

John scrubbed a hand across his forehead, then looked a little unsure. “Kind of like ’information overload’ though, huh? For you too. ”

 

Marlena laughed. “Well, yes, you were quite …productive, once you got going. “

 

John picked up the dog-eared little tablet from the cushion between them that Marlena had scribbled her notes on, and flicked quickly through the pages. “You gonna be able to makes heads or tails out of all this?” he asked with a chuckle.

 

She just nodded. “I think I can manage.”

 

He leaned forward to toss the tablet onto the coffee table, and rested his elbows across his knees as he stared down at the floor. He sat quietly that way for a minute, before finally looking back over his shoulder at her. “Thank you.”

 

Marlena searched his eyes and shrugged. “You did all the work. ”

 

“No.” John said simply. “Not for today.” Strangely enough, he didn’t feel he needed to say any more than that. And he was right.

 

Marlena’s eyes sparkled, and she marveled again at how, no matter what obstacles they’d ever faced, their hearts were so attuned, sometimes words weren’t even necessary. She just smiled at him, and waited, as if she knew he wasn‘t done speaking.

 

He seemed to understand that, and took his time trying to realign his thoughts. “I called you ‘Doc’.”

 

“Yes. You did.” Marlena nodded. “Do you know why?” she asked.

 

“What do you mean?” he cocked his head, and began to think about it.

 

“Do you know, WHY you called me Doc.”

 

John turned and leaned against the arm of the sofa. “You mean did I really remember that, or was it because you told me that’s what I call you.”

Marlena nodded.

 

John’s eyes went a little hazy as he tried to recall what he’d ‘seen’. “I remember, sitting on a tiny bed. In a jail cell.” he said slowly and shook his head. “And I was worried that, that I wouldn’t get the chance to talk to you. Or if I did have the chance, I wouldn’t get to tell you how I felt.” he locked his eyes on hers. “How I really felt.”

 

Marlena watched him carefully.

 

He spread his hands in front of him, and stared down into his empty palms. “I could see myself writing it. In that quick little…’flash’, I could see it.”

 

“That’s wonderful John! Its marvelous that you can recall those kinds of details.” she told him. She watched as John stood and stretched. She knew him like a book. He needed a diversion. He had to shake off all these ghosts from his past and clear his head. Literally.

 

John crossed the room to stand before the big bay window, and looked outside. “Sky’s cleared.” he said, with no further commentary on his radical topic shift. He looked back at her. “ Feel like taking a walk outside? I could use some fresh air. “

 

“That sounds really good.” Marlena said easily. “I’ll go get my shoes

on.” She unfolded those long legs from the couch and strode into the bedroom

with a happy little bounce in her step.

 

John peered out the window and looked down at a narrow little path that ran from the back patio , along the outline of the woods that bordered the Inn’s property. Freshly washed from the mornings rain, he thought it looked secure enough for him to be able to be aware of any activity around them. He didn’t really want to risk taking Blondie outside, but a walk would clear his head , and hers. And if need be, he could protect Blondie better than anyone alive.

 

Blondie. Hmmm. Doc. It used to irk him. Now, well, now he rather liked the sound of it.

 

Seemed her far fetched theory hadn‘t been so far fetched after all. She was right, not that that was particularly surprising. Stefano wasn’t as cagey as he thought. His memories were still there, they’d just been pushed back into some quiet, hidden corner of his mind while the crazy bastard and his evil scientist tried to turn John into a killing machine, willing to carry out Stefano’s commands. “Ha.” John murmured under his breath to the empty room. “That is so NOT happening. Not anymore. ”

 

Marlena walked back into the living room, wearing a pair of comfy looking sneakers. “All set?” she asked, zipping the jacket to her throat.

 

“Yes.” John said decisively. Picking up his cell phone and room key from the coffee table, he put both in his pants pocket and looked at her. Damn, she was pretty. He reached for the shiny silver zipper pull, and lowered it just a smidge to expose some skin, before stroking his index finger slowly on the spot where her pulse beat. “Better.” he said quietly.

 

She smiled at him before casting a concerned glance toward the window, then she looked at John again and put her smile back in place.

 

“You’ll be safe.” he said reading her thoughts. “I promise. No one will hurt you.‘ he paused. “ Trust me, Doc.” he said trying the endearment out, and finding it comfortable and easy.

 

Her smile lit him up. “I know.”

 

He held out a hand to her, which she took immediately. Opening the door, and stepping into the hall, John felt a step closer to climbing back into his ‘old‘ skin, and marveled at how OK he was in doing just that. As they headed toward the elevator John thought it was odd how doing the most common, most normal things, made him feel somehow more comfortable with himself. Of course, it didn’t hurt to have Marlena by his side. She seemed to make everything a little better for him.

 

Pushing the ’down’ arrow, John looked over to find Marlena’s eyes on his. Happy. Content. Loving. He grinned. “Looks like it might turn out to be a nice day after all. “ he said as the elevator doors parted and they stepped inside.

 

Her light laugh filled the small space. “I think its already a nice day. A very nice day.”

 

 

Chapter 15

 

Marlena smiled at him before casting a concerned glance toward the window, then she looked at John again and put her smile back in place.

 

“You’ll be safe.” he said reading her thoughts. he paused. “ Trust me, Doc.” He said trying the endearment out, and finding it comfortable and easy. “I promise. No one will hurt you.”

 

Her smile lit him up. “I know.”

 

He held out a hand to her, which she took immediately. Opening the door, and stepping into the hall, John felt a step closer to climbing back into his ‘old‘ skin, and marveled at how OK he was in doing just that. As they headed toward the elevator John thought it was odd how doing the most common, most normal things, made him feel somehow more comfortable with himself. Of course, it didn’t hurt to have Marlena by his side. She seemed to make everything a little better for him.

 

Pushing the ’down’ arrow, John looked over to find Marlena’s eyes on his. Happy. Content. Loving. He grinned. “Looks like it might turn out to be a nice day after all. “ he said as the elevator doors parted and they stepped inside.

 

Her light laugh filled the small space. “I think its already a nice day. A very, nice day.”

 

The trip to the lobby took little more than a minute, and when the elevator doors opened, John and Marlena walked out hand-in-hand, and both saw a silver-topped head pop up from her seat behind the front desk to great them with a wide, cheery smile. The lobby was otherwise quiet, with nothing but the muted sounds of chirping birds and the whistle of the breeze through the trees floating in thru the open windows. The rain had left the day cool and muggy and the earthy smell of the surrounding woods hung in the air.

 

“Good afternoon, Mr. & Mrs. Back!” Grace said happily, her chipper voice sounding even louder in the relative quiet.

 

Keeping her close to his side, John’s hand gripped Marlena’s even tighter as he ignored the woman, and busied himself with surveying the room, his brain shifting automatically into ‘soldier mode’ and taking in every available detail of his surroundings, ready to identify and dispose of any potential threats. Only now, it seemed, his senses were heightened even further…because he was protecting something much more valuable than ever before.

 

His wife.

 

With barely more than a glance to the man at her side, Marlena knew his thoughts were otherwise occupied, and picked up the slack. “Good afternoon, Grace.” she said with her trademark beaming smile.

 

Circling the desk, Grace approached them with a skip in her step. “I so hope you had a peaceful night’s sleep, Mrs. Black. And your handsome husband, of course. May I say, you look very well rested.” She grinned happily at Marlena like a preening Mother Hen, laying an indulgent hand on Marlena’s shoulder.

 

Marlena’s smile was sincere. “Oh my , yes we did, and I am. Thank you so much.”

 

Grace’s happy chuckle filled the room. “I’m so pleased! I know your husband was very adamant that you not be disturbed so you could get some much needed rest!” she said seriously. “I’m so happy that you both…”

 

Her voice paused abruptly when, on the other side of the lobby, a doorway opened leading up from the basement. Marlena barely had time to register what was happening as John moved in a virtual blur of motion and in an instant, pivoted his body and all but leapt between the women, automatically guarding Marlena against possible danger.

 

A startled squeak from Grace was all Marlena heard before her vision was filled with nothing but the tightly corded muscles of John’s back as he shielded her body protectively behind his own, and had her heart immediately jumping into her throat. Grace remained speechless, her mouth hanging open, still stunned not only at John’s actions and even more so by his speed.

 

Albert walked through the door from the laundry room, balancing a huge stack of

precisely folded towels, totally oblivious to the drama he’d unwittingly caused, his head bobbing steadily to the rhythm coming from the tiny white buds in his ears. He looked up innocently to find three startled pairs of eyes on him, and the color drained from his face. He struggled to keep the now riotously tilting stack of snowy white linens from hitting the ground even as he yanked furiously to tug the wires of the headphones from his ears. His eyes were wide and terrified that he’d done something horribly wrong. “Wha- what? What!” he said, truly panicked.

 

Grace looked at the boy and then back at John, assuming immediately that poor Albert had somehow displeased her star guest. John’s face was set and hard and his blue eyes were fierce, making her tremble right where she stood. She attempted to compose herself; seemingly by preparing to chastise her young worker in the name of pleasing her most valued customer. She cleared her throat. “Albert, I think you should…” the woman began in the most authoritative tone she could muster.

 

John’s rigid stance eased as if some imaginary switch had been flipped, when he felt Marlena’s forehead briefly touch the spot just between his shoulder blades, and he could feel her sigh of relief. The warmth of her palms seemed to register on him, as she slid her hands along his waist and giving his middle a gentle pat, signaling to him that she was in fact, alright. Realizing he’d over-reacted, John looked over at Albert, and then down at the floor, as he forced his own breathing and heartbeat back to a normal rhythm. He took a deep, steadying breath. “It’s fine.”

 

Grace, who all the same, seemed ready to banish the poor boy to the dungeon, waved frantically at him, trying to swish him from the lobby.

 

Directing his voice to the older woman, John repeated himself. “It’s. Fine.” He said more emphatically. He pivoted his body, and gave Marlena a quick yet detailed survey from head to foot. Locking his eyes on hers, and before he could even speak, she nodded her head, and gave him a watery smile, letting him know she was startled, but otherwise OK.

 

Satisfied, John turned back, and fumbled over his words a bit, knowing he should probably apologize for obviously scaring the hell out of the woman, but since he’d had almost no experience with apologies, he wasn’t quite sure how. “I’m, uh… very sorry…. if I…startled you. That…wasn’t my intention. ” he stated, with that rigid, halting delivery, that Marlena couldn’t help but smile at. Looking over at her, his eyes silently asked for her help, and Blondie pulled herself together and stepped up to the plate.

 

“I’m so sorry Grace. We’re just both still on edge after what happened at University Hospital. I apologize for our being so…paranoid”. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw John look down at her, obviously displeased with her choice of words; but to his credit, he didn’t say a thing. Instead he huffed out an impatient breath and looked over at Albert, still frozen like a deer in the headlights watching the others.

 

“Excuse me.” He said simply and started across the lobby.

 

“Oh Mr. Black,” Grace began waving frantically again at the boy, trying to force him from the room. “… I can have Albert go, right now, and …” she said quickly.

 

“No. ” John said over his shoulder to her, as he stalked silently across the carpet like a panther approaching the frightened boy.

 

Albert backed up a step or two and dropped the towels as neatly as he could onto a chair nearby, and watched John move toward him, the fear on his face overtaken only by his confusion. “M-M-Mr. Black, I swear, I didn’t mean to scare you or M-M-Mrs, Bla…”

 

John held up his hand to halt the boy’s words. “Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.” John said and watched the panic virtually drain from the boys face, as he breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“Th- thanks. Honestly, Mr. Black, I was just…”

 

“I know, I know.” John said impatiently. “Don’t give her a second thought.” He said jerking a thumb over his shoulder at Grace. Just then, an idea occurred to John, and his mind shifted into overdrive. “As a matter of fact, you’re just the person I wanted to see.” John took a breath and stood straight and tall. “I need your help.” he said, looking seriously at the young man.

 

Albert smiled widely. “Oh! Anything, Mr. Black! What can I do to help you?” he asked hopefully. “You just name it!”.

 

John smiled, laid a hand on Albert’s shoulder and led him further across the lobby away from the women as he spoke quietly. “Excellent. Here’s what I need.”

 

Across the room, Marlena tried to do damage control and listened patiently as Grace chattered incessantly and apologized repeatedly, all the while keeping an eye on John and young Albert. She could see John’s face was serious, as he explained something to Albert who nodded his head obediently, and hung on John’s every word. John reached into the breast pocket of his jacket and extracted a card of some kind which he tucked into the boys shirt pocket.

 

Marlena then watched as Albert unclipped a cell phone from his waist and he and John bent their heads together as they both stared at the screen. Marlena could see John’s lips moving although she couldn’t hear a word, while Albert’s thumbs typed furiously fast on the keypad. Satisfied after a minute or two, John gave the boy a slight ‘thumbs up’ signal and began to walk away, back toward Marlena. He only got about half way there, when Albert dashed to his side and carefully tapped his arm. John paused and tilted his head again to the boy as Albert spoke quickly and made gestures with his hands towards the back of the Inn. It almost appeared as if he were giving John directions.

 

When the men straightened, Marlena was both relieved and charmed to see a small but genuine smile creep across John’s face. She watched him turn toward Albert – who stared at him hopefully, and extend his palm for a handshake, which the boy took proudly. John went the extra mile, and graciously clapped him hard on the shoulder with his other hand, and they both chuckled as if they had just shared some secret male bonding ritual.

 

Marlena made a mental note to find out more about that, but first, she had to get Grace to shut up. The woman had still not stopped her constant yammering. ‘Geez’, thought Marlena , ‘She talks even more than Maggie’.

 

Thankfully John and Albert arrived to deflect Grace’s endless concerns. Just as Grace was about to try to instruct Albert away from the group once again, Marlena rolled her eyes at John, and John laid a hand across the boy’s slim shoulders, eliciting a proud grin from Albert. Winking at his surprised wife,

John’s voice was firm. “You know, if I wasn’t a fair and honest businessman, “ he turned to Grace, “I’d try to steal this young man from you, and hire him away…right out from under your nose. He certainly is an asset around here.”

 

As he expected, Grace was so surprised she went mute, but sadly it didn’t last long. “Oh, well, um,,,” she stammered. “…yes he, he is a….”

 

“He’s a hell of an employee, is what he is. I can’t think of a single thing I’ve asked of him since our arrival that he’s not right on top of. I can always use people like that working for me.” John said decisively, earning him a huge smile from Marlena.

 

Almost on cue, Albert’s cheeks flamed crimson under the compliment. He looked up at John, swallowed visibly and mumbled. “Wow. Thanks, Mr. Black. Thanks!”

 

Marlena wondered if she could have been any prouder or any more grateful to have John be so relaxed and so willing not only to let this little scare roll off his back, and remain calm, but also to be so kind to Albert. The way he seemed to have taken a shine to Albert – and Albert to him, made her heart simply swell with happiness. Inch by inch the old John was re-surfacing.

 

“No matter what you’re paying him Ma’am, I’m sure it’s not enough. He deserves a raise.” John tossed in for good measure, as he nodded conspiratorially at the boy and released him, to reach a hand out to Marlena. “Well, what do you say we take that walk Sweetheart? “

 

Grateful for the excuse to leave Grace and her endless conversation behind, Marlena took John’s hand and turned to cross the lobby and exit thru the big oak front door. “Yes, thank you.”

 

John pushed the heavy door open, and led Marlena outside, letting it close with a quiet thud behind them. Then he stood still and paused. “Aaahhh…listen“ he said softly, then whispered, “Its quiet. “ he deadpanned.

 

Marlena laughed lightly. “Grace is a bit of a chatterbox, isn’t she?”

 

“That’s an understatement.” John took her hand and led her along a brick path that circled the entire Inn. At the rear of the building was a wide patio dotted with charming wooden benches, wrought iron tables and chairs, and big clay pots filled with flowers in all the deep , rich colors of fall, that were still sprinkled with the morning’s rain. John surveyed the area, his eyes automatically taking in every detail, and; thankfully, finding nothing amiss. Remembering his conversation with young Albert, John guided Marlena over to the far end of the patio where a small dirt path seemed to disappear through the

trees. “Come on. Let’s head this way. See if we can find the lake.”

 

Marlena didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure Honey? It doesn’t look like this is even a path…”

 

“Don’t worry Blon….Doc. It’ll be fine.” He said with a smile and a little squeeze of his hand around hers. “Trust me.”

 

“I do. With my life.” She reassured him with that quiet determination of hers.

 

 

Chapter 16

 

They set out through the trees on the virtually non-existent path, talking quietly about the events of the morning, and some of the scattered details John had recalled. Marlena continued to focus on the positive, and tell John what great strides he’d made, and John

kept reminding her that he’d barely touched the tip of the iceberg.

 

After about 15 minutes, John released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding when they made their way to the small, secluded clearing of trees that Albert described to him, and spotted what appeared to be a small tent off to one side just at the edge of the trees. “Aha!” he said happily, even as he surveyed the surrounding area, always on the alert.

 

Marlena watched as John spread the last of the wet and heavy branches aside and she stepped into the most perfectly private and unexpected spot. Trees had been removed for yards in every direction, and the leaves and grass had been replaced by a thick cushion of coarse sand, creating a wide, perfect circle that was illuminated by a shaft of watery light that poked through trees that seemed a mile high. “Oh my!” she said genuinely surprised. “John! How did you know about this place?”

 

John grinned at her. “Albert. He told me that the Inn just had this little spot all landscaped, but that none of the guests knew about it yet.” John looked at her and mock whispered “ He knows you like things quiet, thought you’d like it. Gotta give the boy points. He does have excellent taste in women.” he smiled.

 

Marlena chuckled and remembered the conversation she‘d witnessed in the lobby. “Oh that sweet boy. And he’s right! Look at this, oh my, it’s wonderful!” A small fire-pit that seemed to have been hand-dug sat directly under the opening in the trees. Lined with stones both big and small, making it a perfect spot for a bonfire or a rustic cook-out. Around the circumference of the fire-pit, huge chunks of limestone and giant discs of tree trunks sat every few feet to serve as natural seating. “This is so beautiful!” Marlena exclaimed as she turned in a slow circle, taking in all the details. “What’s in there?” she

asked John, pointing to the tent.

 

“Oh, well, let’s take a look, shall we?“ John said as they approached the small structure. Made of a sturdy iron frame, the ‘walls’ were fashioned out of swatches of thick, green canvas made to withstand the weather, and blend with the colors of the woods. The big flaps had heavy zippers that ran down the center of each panel, and John bent to unzip the ‘wall’ facing the fire-pit from the ground to the top of the iron frame. Pulling open the first flap, John spread the canvas wide and secured the first side to the frame with a hunk of rope, then moved across to the other side and repeated the action. He smiled

when he heard Marlena’s gasp of delight as she realized just what he’d

revealed.

 

A brand spanking new, ultra- private Jacuzzi spa sat quietly sheltered inside, like a hidden gem that had been waiting to be uncovered. John took a step back and rested his fists on his hips and took it all in with a slow grin. “Nice.” He said with a nod of his head. “The kid gets an extra tip for this.” he added, almost to himself.

 

Marlena moved to stand at his side. “I never expected this out here in the middle of nowhere.”

 

“Neither did I, but it’s a very pleasant surprise.” John spoke as he stepped inside and peeled a vinyl cover off the top of the Jacuzzi to reveal crystal clear water. “According to Albert, they completed the installation of this little beauty just yesterday. He said he was out here putting the finishing touches on it, just before we arrived. And….” He began before walking around the back to locate the generator Albert mentioned, and flipped the switch that supplied electricity to the tent.

 

A half-dozen small lanterns that hung inside the tent from the artfully arched roof flicked to life as the little generator hummed quietly. John smiled at the iron shelf in the corner that was stocked with clean, fresh towels, and at the rustic bench fashioned from a tree that had been halved lengthwise that ran across the back wall. “ …it’s got all the comforts of home. “

 

John leaned over to a open a small waterproof control panel on the side of the spa and flipped a switch, and the Jacuzzi bubbled to life. He watched Marlena smile as the water began to froth and churn. Moving back to her, he eyed her appreciatively. “Speaking of home…”

 

Before his eyes, Marlena’s smile disappeared and her mind skidded to a halt as the grand, yet hollow walls of Stefano’s fortress filled her head. It still saddened her that John; even before discovering his blood ties to the DiMera’s, had felt that that’s where his home should be. “You mean the Mansion?” she said sadly, casting a look down at the ground.

 

“No.” came the quiet reply. Marlena looked up at him oddly, and blinked. “Your home.” he said with no further explanation, his face blank.

 

A shadow crossed her face as she mention of her ‘home’. It just wasn’t the same

anymore. Not for so many reasons. It was so empty and lonely. Added to the fact that the last time she’d been in the townhouse, was the day she’d been attacked. She wondered if she’d ever feel safe there again. Or anywhere else, for that matter. She pushed the bad memories aside and tried to focus on the positives. Namely, on the man standing in front of her. She smiled weakly at him. “What about, home?”

 

“Do…you…have a tub like this?”

 

“No, as a matter of fact. We had talked about it, and we were going to ….” She began to explain that they had discussed getting one installed in the Master bath at the apartment like the one they’d had at the Penthouse. She remembered John saying he thought it would be ‘fun to have one again’, but like a million other things she thought there would be plenty of time for, they’d simply never gotten around to it.

 

Marlena sighed. “No.” she repeated somewhat sadly. She turned from him, and took a step closer to the Jacuzzi and stared down into the foaming water, and could smell the sharpness of the chlorine and feel the delightful heat that was beginning to rise up from the surface as the temperature in the spa increased. A chill ran thru her and she crossed her arms over her middle.

 

It was a move John was beginning to recognize. She might have shivered, but she wasn’t cold.

 

No. She was scared.

 

Scared to go back there alone, knowing that someone had invaded her privacy, and been inside her home without her knowledge when she thought she’d been safe and protected. Hiding. Spying. Just waiting for an opportunity to scare her, and hurt her, and then leave her to die. The thought incensed him, and filled him with hate, and a powerful need for revenge.

 

Stefano had put that fear in her, and he couldn’t blame her for being frightened. For that alone, he’d make Stefano pay. Dearly.

 

But not now.

 

Now, he took a deep breath and thought about how nice it might be to have a home that felt like … well, what a home was supposed to feel like. Warm. Welcoming. A place to belong. And every hour that passed made him feel that the place he truly belonged – was with her. He wanted that feeling of belonging, that sense of permanency. And he wanted it with Marlena.

 

John stepped behind her and lined his body with hers, settling his hands on her hips. He couldn’t help but smile at how well they fit together. Looking over her shoulder at the churning water with her made him think of how gorgeous she’d looked that morning in the shower, her skin warm and wet, flushed a pale pink, and so damn soft. That was surely a sight he was becoming accustomed to. One he had no intention of ever letting slip through his fingers. He spoke without a second thought.

 

“Well, maybe…we should get one.” He leaned around and placed a soft little kiss on her temple, just because it suddenly felt so right to do it.

 

Marlena then proved he wasn’t the only one capable of moving fast when she turned her body to face him so quickly, John blinked in surprise. “What did you say?” she demanded?

 

John blinked in confusion and repeated “I said, “ he stammered “…I said, maybe we should get one???” She was looking at him with wide eyes, and he wondered what the hell was wrong. “It was just a suggestion.” He said carefully thinking for some reason that the thought upset her somehow, as he spoke over the sound of the bubbling water. He shrugged his shoulders. “I just thought it might be fun.” he winked at her, trying to put her at ease, completely unaware of the fact that she wasn’t upset. Not at all.

 

Marlena’s face changed bit by tiny bit, as the tension slid away to be replaced by a smile that reached all the way to those gorgeous hazel eyes, and lit her up. The laugh started the same way. Before John knew it, she threw her head back, flung her arms around his shoulders, and plastered her body against his. Then she held on tight as she giggled in absolute delight.

 

To his credit, John’s fast thinking served him well as he immediately braced for the impact of her embrace. Good thing too, otherwise she’d have knocked him on his ass with the sheer force of her excitement. Even though he didn’t know exactly what it was yet that had tickled her, he found himself chuckling right along. She had a laugh that was THAT infectious. His arms automatically moved to hold her close, and his hands enjoyed a leisurely cruise across all those sweet curves. “All this….for a tub?”

 

Marlena laughed even harder, making it even more impossible for her to speak, as she burrowed her head into his neck, kissing his salty sweet skin between giggles. She tried to talk. She wanted to explain, she really did, but the words just wouldn’t come. ‘It’s really happening.” she thought to herself as she wrapped herself around him. ‘It’s really John. My. John. ’ Her heart leapt.

 

John squeezed her hard, his arms like steel bands around her as his body temperature began to climb higher than that of the Jacuzzi. Her teeth scraped along the side of his throat sending an actual chill across his hot skin. He reached up to cup the back of her head, his big hand holding her close, even as his mouth sought out her neck.

 

The effect they had on one another was undeniable. John had come to accept that fact. He couldn’t seem to resist her, so he no longer bothered to try. All it took was one, deep, sucking, open mouthed kiss on the smooth column of her throat to change her laughter into a deep, husky moan that made his blood pressure spike. Not to mention his dick.

 

John slid his hands down her body until his palms covered her bottom. He squeezed, and pulled her higher against his rapidly hardening erection, enjoying the high-pitched little gasp she couldn’t manage to stifle. God he loved that sound. And he knew she’d be putty in his hands now. He smiled at how he was beginning to know all the signs. He ran his hands up her back until he could tilt her shoulders back far enough to look in her eyes, which were still damp with happy tears, but darkening to that deep grassy green that signaled her arousal. He arched an eyebrow at her. “What? No more laughing?” he teased.

 

Marlena rested her forearms on the tops of his shoulders as she stood on her tip toes, and raked her nails thru his hair. She smiled when she felt him pull in a breath as his cock twitched against her, giving her the most delicious rush. “Are you really thinking of…” she gulped, “…coming home? Really?” she asked, trying desperately to keep both the panic and the hope from her voice.

 

He studied her face. Her eyes were searching for something to hold on to, her mouth was begging to be kissed and he smiled when he felt the warmth of her breath on his own lips as she spoke. He knew it was a big step, but figured he might as well jump in with both feet. “What would you think about that?”

 

Marlena felt the tears rush to sting her eyes. “Do you really have to ask?”

 

John’s face turned serious. “It’s not going to be like ‘old times‘. Well, it probably won’t be like old times. I won’t promise you that I’m going to be a carbon copy of the man you remember. I can’t promise you that.“ he said, wanting her not to get her expectations any higher than he knew they already were.

 

As usual, she surprised him. “I don’t want you to promise me anything, John. The promise I want you to make, is to yourself. I don’t want Stefano and Rolfe to dictate to you the kind of person you are because of some twisted idea of what they wanted you to be. I want you to be rid of that influence.” She cupped his cheeks and kept his eyes on hers. “I want you to know who you are, and who you were.” she stressed. “I want you to have your life back. And more than anything in this world, I want us to be free of Stefano. ”

 

John nodded, knowing she was right. “It’s not going to be easy you know. The man is my …family.” he said the last word with distaste.

 

Marlena shook her head with a small smile. “That’s not what ‘family‘ means. Your connection to Stefano is purely by chance. You are related to him through a simple stroke of fate.” she pulled him close and felt the reassuring beat of his heart. “We – are family. You and I. Our children. Our grandchildren.” Her eyes sparkled at the mere mention of the little ones. “ We are bound by love, not by chance. That …is what family means.”

 

John grinned. “You are a stubborn woman.”

 

“Yes, I am.” she said without a hint of remorse.

 

John rocked them both from side to side slowly, thoroughly enjoying the way their bodies moved in perfect unison. “I like that.”

 

Marlena barked out a laugh. “Ha! Not always.”

 

John stopped moving as his gaze bored into hers. “Yes.“ he paused, making sure he had her attention “Always.” he waited until the meaning of his words sunk in, and she smiled at him.

 

John flicked a loose curl from her forehead, and traced his finger down along her cheek. “If you weren’t so headstrong, and determined…..and stubborn; I probably wouldn’t be standing here. Hell, we both might be nothing but a distant memory by now, and that’s even from just the scattered bits and pieces I can recall. You’re pretty amazing , lady.”

 

Marlena felt her heart do a little flip inside her chest and she beamed at him.

 

“Its high time I told you that too.” John added, glad to know his words could make her so happy. She deserved that. And so much more.

 

Again she stretched up onto her toes, and kissed his mouth gently. “Thank you.”

 

“While we’re on the subject of amazing…“ he began as his body automatically resumed the slow, sexy swaying. “…know what else I think is amazing?“ John’s hands slid down her sides all the way to the backs of her thighs, as he leaned down and kissed her cheek gently before nibbling his way slowly to her ear…and beyond. “You feel amazing .“ Marlena sighed in pure delight. His nose nudged the shell of her ear and he inhaled deeply. “The way you smell? Mmm…amazing.“ When she felt his tongue snake out to lick a gentle trail along the side of her throat, she thought her knees would buckle. “And dear God, the way you taste is… just… fucking… amazing.“ His voice in her ear was hot and wet.

 

So was she. “Oh….” she moaned. “John…”

 

John enjoyed the shiver that ran through her. He eyed the Jacuzzi, watching the steam rise from the surface, and pulled back only far enough to reach for the little tab on the zipper of the jacket she wore. Sliding it slowly down her front, he ran his fingertips along the delicate span of her collarbone and watched the goose bumps rise. “And I think it’s amazing that we have a steamy, bubbly hot tub all to ourselves.” His eyes got even darker. “ How are you at ‘aqua therapy’ Doc?” he asked quietly as his fingertips teased just above the pretty lace cups of her bra.

 

Marlena’s grin was slow, as her eyelids dropped to a sexy half-mast. “I don’t know. I‘ve never tested that particular brand of therapy on any of my patients before.” The rational part of her brain said it was crazy to even think about getting in a Jacuzzi in the middle of the woods, especially knowing where it would lead. Making love out in the open where anyone could wander along wasn’t exactly what she had in mind, but – this was John. She knew she had no power to resist him when he was feeling amorous, and the thought didn’t shame her a single iota. Plus the sound of the churning water and the hiss of the foamy bubbles was becoming impossible for her to withstand.

 

“Damn right. And you never will.” he said in that deep sexy voice that made moisture pool between her thighs. “Maybe we should find out.” he said as his hands moved to spread the jacket, slide it over her shoulders and slowly down her arms.

 

“Maybe we should.” Marlena caught the fabric in one fist as she slid it off and tossed it toward the small wooden bench near the steps and grinned. “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind when you suggested we take a walk.” she said with a last look around before her head became too filled to think straight.

 

John chuckled. “Me neither, but you can’t tell me you want to let an opportunity like this, pass us by.”

 

“Oh heavens no, we couldn’t do that.” she said with a smile.

 

If he wanted to play she thought…. she’d play.

 

 

Chapter 17

 

“This isn’t exactly what I had in mind when you suggested we take a walk.” Marlena said with a last look around before her head became too filled to think straight.

 

John chuckled. “Me neither, but you can’t tell me you want to let an opportunity like this, pass us by.”

 

“Oh heavens no, we couldn’t do that.” she said.

 

If he wanted to play….then she’d play.

 

Marlena slid her hands under his t-shirt to let his skin warm her palms, just before gliding them slowly up his chest lifting off his shirt. She tossed it on top of her jacket and looked at John. “I think we should get in the water before we get cold.” she said, hooking her fingers in the belt loops at his waist and giving them a little tug.

 

John shook his head with a smile. “Baby, I don’t think its humanly possible for either of us to be cold.” John said.

 

Marlena smiled. “That’s because we still have too much clothing on. But I think I can help you with that.” she said, her voice dripping with heat. “And then you can help me.”

 

She moved to the catch of his pants and slid the little hook apart. Moving her hands down the front, she could feel how hot and hard his cock was, as it strained against his zipper. She slid it down slowly, watching the reaction on his face as the backs of her fingers brushed against his erection making him shiver. She pushed the pants down over his hips until they fell into a black puddle at his feet. Her nails coaxed another shiver from him, as she scraped them along his belly to his hips, where she slid her fingers under the waistband of his boxers and worked them down too, being extra careful around his groin. Even the slightest touch made him tremble and sent a wave of

delicious power through her.

 

When she bent forward to push his boxers the last little bit of the way off, she puffed out a warm breath of air that kissed the very tip of his dick, causing him to suck in a violent breath. His hands snapped to the tops of her arms, jerking her upright with a start, before releasing her for fear that he‘d hurt her. “You’re playing with fire. You know that, don‘t you.” It wasn’t a question. He wondered if he’d always found it necessary to keep such a tight reign on his control around her, when all he seemed to want to do was possess her.

 

Marlena had to struggle to tear her eyes from the magnificence of his body, but once her gaze connected with his, it was impossible to look away. She nodded her agreement, and searched for her voice. “Touch me, John.” She whispered, as the desperation to feel his hands on every inch of her skin began to overtake her. “Please.”

 

John’s hands slid under the soft waves of her hair to cup her face as he leaned in to take her mouth. His lips were ravenous, and before Marlena even realized it, her bra was gone, and her nipples registered the silky feel of his chest hair to tease them to even harder peaks. In the space of another heartbeat, her track pants and pretty panties were bunched at her feet, while John toed off his shoes and kicked his pants aside, then reluctantly tore his mouth from hers. He lowered himself down to his haunches, where he helped Marlena step out of her things, and dispensed with his socks while Marlena kept a steadying hand on his shoulder.

 

He stood with the haphazardly gathered pile of clothing scrunched in his fist and tossed them with the rest of the discarded items, before moving slowly up the curved wooden steps.

 

Keeping her hand in his, he stepped into the tub, and turned to enjoy the view as Marlena stepped in beside him. They stood knee high in the bubbles, becoming accustomed to the heat on the wide ‘seat’ of the tub. John heard the little sigh she made as the soothing warmth of the hot water began to have its effect, and it made him happy.

 

John wasn’t exactly sure why, but he suddenly had an over-powering urge to tell her what was on his mind. He wanted her to know what she’d come to mean to him, and how much he needed her. She asked so little of him, really; knowing first-hand the struggle he faced daily trying to recover his memory. Usually he held back for fear he’d make an ass of himself. But the little things always seemed to mean so much to her, and Marlena had proved time and time again over the past months that she would never hurt him. He remembered her telling him that that very first night in the hospital; that she’d never give up on him.

 

She’d kept her word.

 

And even with all the shitty things he‘d done since then, she‘d never wavered. No. She’d kept her word.

 

Without realizing he was doing it- or why, he lifted the hand he still held in his own, and kissed her knuckles. “I want to make certain I tell you…” he paused, “…just how important you are. To me.” he stressed. He seemed to study her hand as he considered his next words. “I don’t want to lose you, Marlena.” he said so quietly, she almost didn’t hear him over the sound of the water.

 

Marlena’s heart stumbled to a halt, as she struggled to clear the cobwebs from her head long enough to focus on his words. He’d said it before, that he “couldn’t” lose her, but this time, even though the words were the same, the meaning behind them was different. Completely different. She could see it on his face…and feel it in her soul.

 

“I uh… I know you think that it’s … just because I don’t like to lose – and I don’t.” he rushed to add, with a wry shake of his head. “But it’s… more than that.” He wanted to make sure she understood. “Now.”

 

“Oh, John.” she whispered, as he went on.

 

“I know that…I’m still fitting all these pieces together. Hell, I’ll probably be putting this puzzle back together for a long time.” he said with a question in his voice, and watched Marlena nod. “But, well…” his eyes darted around, as the doubt crept in.

 

Marlena laid her other hand patiently on his cheek in the soft, gentle show of support he’d come to associate so with her.

 

He flexed his fingers around her hand and held on tighter. “But.. the biggest piece of the puzzle – is you. And, I don’t …I don’t want to do it without you.” he said seriously, and gave a slight shrug. “It wouldn’t mean anything if I didn’t have you.”

 

Marlena’s vision blurred as the tears came. “You’ll always have me.” She said weakly.

 

John released her hand to cup her face in his palms, as his thumbs brushed the tears from her cheeks. “Good.” he said, before his brow wrinkled, and he asked with a crooked grin. “Please tell me, these are happy tears?”

 

Marlena’s hands moved to cup his elbows, as she chuckled. “Happy and grateful. Yes, they are.”

 

“Excellent.” he said, pulling her close to kiss her mouth gently.

 

She moved into his embrace easily, and loved feeling the reassuring warmth of his skin on every centimeter of her own. She could tell the differences in him already, as she felt “John” re-emerging more and more. Even his kisses were slower. Careful and more purposeful. More like John. It was so much more than just a physical connection now, it was an emotional one too. And the doctor in her knew that as he continued to recall his past and uncover ’the old John’ the memories themselves would spark more recollections, and he’d begin to fill in the blanks.

 

It didn’t take long for John’s kisses to turn passionate as he instinctively sought the flavor of her that he knew would drive him crazy. He loved the way her arms clutched at his back, and her nails raked his skin just enough to leave a trail of deep pink tracks across the rippling muscles. It made him hungry for more. More of her.

 

His mouth moved over hers in a slow dance that was hot and wet and deep. He savored every breath and every sigh as his lips sucked at her mouth only pausing long enough for his tongue to dip inside and tangle with hers; and still it wasn’t enough. He nibbled his way across her cheek until he reached her ear, where he teased the lobe with a gentle suck. The best part of kissing this beautiful neck was the sweet taste of her. The fact that it made her moan those husky, sexy, little gasps was an extra added gift. But he wanted more from her. He wanted to hear her say his name in that wayshe had – like he was the only man in the world.

 

And he knew just how to do it.

 

He eased her back to sit on the edge of the Jacuzzi, and kissed his way down her neck all the way to the curve of her shoulder, before doubling back across her collarbone to the opposite side. To his delight, she let her head fall back giving him a wealth of creamy skin to caress. He dipped his hands down into the hot water to trail along her legs, and slowly slid them from beneath the surface to cruise up her sides and across her trembling belly until he cupped both breasts. He watched his own fingers leave a warm, wet trail over the ever tightening buds of her nipples and felt the sexy rumble that bubbled up from her tummy as he squeezed.

 

Marlena’s back arched in delight, and she unconsciously thrust her chest forward even further into John’s willing hands. Her mind began to shut down, as her body became her sole focus. His damp hands warmed her skin with his firm, yet gentle touch, until an even hotter pleasure assailed her. Her eyes snapped open just as she looked down to see John’s mouth closing over her breast. “John, ooooh yes.“ The heat of the Jacuzzi was no match for the fiery touch of his tongue circling lazily, and then drawing the aching bud deeply into his mouth with the most thrilling suction.

 

John lowered himself to his knees on the bench seat of the hot tub as he went to work. And what pleasant work it was. Even under the heat of the water, John was still rock hard and ready, but he she came first. Well, she was about to come first, he thought with a grin.

 

Moving from one breast to the other, he alternated between gentle licks and more insistent sucking tugs, until both nipples were deep pink, and deliciously distended. John looked up at her, and called her name. With great effort it seemed, she finally lifted her head, and opened those sexy eyes on his. Glazed with passion, she smiled at him, and lifted her hands to his head, her nails tunneling through his hair. She sighed, and that was all he needed.

 

He parted her knees and positioned himself between them. Then he leaned in and opened his mouth on the tiny patch of super soft skin between her breasts and leisurely kissed his way down her body. As he dipped lower, he lifted his head only long enough to whisper her name against the warm skin above her bellybutton. The only response she could manage to offer it seemed, was a husky sigh. “Lean back, baby.” he instructed.

 

Marlena reluctantly let him go, and she braced her hands behind her along the smooth edge of the spa, and let her body follow. Before she could even protest missing his touch, she felt his teeth nip the tender flesh of her inner thigh. As her head lifted and her eyes tried to focus, she gasped an “Oh!“ and she watched him turn his head, and run his teeth teasingly along the top of her knee. Dear God. Before her brain had time to formulate another thought, everything around her went dark as John’s nimble fingers gently parted her lips, and his tongue stroked her already dripping center from bottom to top. Her hips bucked sharply as the tip of his tongue flicked her almost painfully sensitive clit. She dimly felt the tremor of John’s chuckle as one strong arm circled behind her, holding her to his eager mouth, as his tongue searched deeper only to return and lap at the pulsating little nub of flesh. “John, oh God…” she breathed.

 

The sound was music to his ears. John could only moan his agreement, as the two fingers that had opened her to his waiting mouth, slid into the molten heat of her pussy in a single, slow motion, pushing the breath from her lungs so forcefully, that he could hear it even over the water that bubbled mere inches from his ears. The frothy water tickled his chin as he licked her, and he could tell by the trembles that rippled through her, tightening her inner walls around his stroking fingers, that she was already close to the edge. He lifted his mouth for only the quickest second, and said her name.  Marlena…”

 

It took every human ounce of effort she possessed but she opened those fiery hazel eyes and stared down at him. “Don’t stop, honey.” she moaned. “Don’t stop… oh God, don‘t stop!”

 

“I don’t think I can, Doc. Not now…” he said “…not ever.” With that, he fixed his mouth back over her clit and sucked hungrily, as his fingers sunk deep, curling inside her to stroke that magical spot and catapult her into a furious orgasm. Her hips lifted off the edge of the spa, and her body bowed magnificently, and still, John didn’t stop. His name exploded from her lips in a yell that touched every male fiber of his being. His mouth sucked at her, drawing out the insane pleasure, and his arm held her anchored tightly to him, as the orgasm wracked her body. John was struck briefly by the surprising thought that pleasing her , was almost as hot to him as the intense rush of power and passion that jolted through him, when they made love.

 

After another minute of savoring the flavor of her on his tongue, he slowly slipped his soaking wet fingers from her, and allowed them both a moment to calm down. Looking up at his wife, he smiled as he watched her pulling deep gulps of air into her lungs. Her body was flushed and pliant, and he couldn’t think of a single thing in the world that he wanted more than to be inside her, and feel the tightness of her body when she held him so deeply within her.

 

With her.

 

He waited briefly for the fog to lift before he circled his arm around her middle and lifted her off the edge of the tub and lowered her down into the water with him. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders in a daze, and curled around him, her lips peppering tiny kisses along his cheek and neck.

 

Marlena’s voice was warm at his ear as she held onto him. “That was…Dear God, that was amazing.”

 

John leaned down and place a not-so-gentle love bite on her shoulder. “It was, if I do say so myself. “ he said with just a trace of self-depreciation. “We seem to have this stuff down to a science.”

 

Marlena’s body was humming, as she chuckled and wound herself around him. Dipping down to let the water splash over their shoulders, he assumed the oddly crouched position people do when in a hot tub, and bobbed over to the bench on the far side, keeping her pressed to him. He sat on the smooth seat and watched with a grin as she floated like a sexy little mermaid on his lap. Her knees came to rest at his hips, and her arms rested on his shoulders. He watched her eyes close in delight as she felt him pull her close. Damn, this woman made him feel like a million bucks.

 

As her body became accustomed to the temperature of the water, and the even more intense heat of John‘s body, Marlena felt her muscles liquefy completely, and her mind released all the tension and anxiety she‘d accumulated over the course of this hectic day. The fact that she was out in the woods didn’t matter. The fact that she was naked in a hot tub in the middle of the woods didn’t matter. None of it mattered. She leaned in again and wrapped her arms around him tightly and let it all slip away.

 

John’s voice seeped into her thoughts as his hands caressed her. “Perfect. You’re just perfect.“ Skimming hot hands over the gentle bumps of her spine, down to the sweet globes of her ass, and along the strong thighs that bracketed his hips, he simply enjoyed the thrill of touching her. “And you’re mine.”

 

Marlena’s eyes, so hazy and mossy green, met his and she nodded. “Forever.” She said quietly as her mouth touched his, gently at first, before sinking deep. The kisses were slow and sensual as they held one another and tasted deeply as Marlena’s body moved against his. The rows of jets in the bottom of the tub sent what felt like a billion tiny bubbles up through the water to tickle their skin and explode around them and added to the excitement of being where she most wanted to be. In his arms. “Ooh….I love you so…” she mumbled against his lips.

 

John thought of telling her he loved her too. He knew she wanted to hear it. And he knew she deserved to hear it, but the truth was, he wasn’t quite there yet, and he didn’t want to lie. Hell. He couldn’t lie. Not any more. And not to her. His hands flexed around her hips, guiding her body against his, and adding another dimension of sensual excitement. “I know you do. I… I need to be inside you. “ he said, the words spilling out before he had a chance to realize they were the truth. He moved her hips until she was in the perfect position, and with the aid of the water, lifted her a mere split second before pulling her slowly down onto his lap. He waited for that little flash of electricity that always zapped through him when he sank inside her and felt her body tighten around him, joined where nothing more than a breath could separate them. “Perfect.” he said, as the jolt zinged through him like a bolt of lightning and hit home, and made him smile.

 

And even as the familiarity accosted both of their senses, this time was different. Totally and completely different. They made love slowly this time. While the water seemed to rush over their joined bodies in every direction, they moved unhurriedly, their mouths fused together. Every breath she took was his, and every one of her sighs became a part of him.

 

This was another new experience for John, and he wanted to appreciate and savor it. Since the moment he’d first touched her, John had wondered how this  would be. To be able to tame the fire that she seemed to ignite in him, and make love to her at a leisurely pace instead of burning so hot and so fast he couldn’t tell if he missed anything.

 

In this sheltered place that seemed even more protected from the rest of the world than their temporary hide-out in the Inn, the rush to the finish line was gone. In its place was the simple need to be closer to her than anything else he could ever remember. The need to feel her heart pound in time to his, and the desire to know that there was nothing in the world that would ever mean more to him than she did.

 

Even at this more relaxed and easy pace, John’s breathing pumped a steady rhythm, and he wore a positively ‘male’ grin as he watched her move on him, forcing the water around them to slosh over the sides of the Jacuzzi and drip in every direction. When she threw her head back and began to pant him name, it was like music to his ears.

 

Marlena’s hips made tiny little circles that rubbed her clit in a perfect beat along the base of his cock. There was so much more than just a physical connection between them, even now, and she knew she was on the verge of ecstasy But when John reached to cup the back of her head in his big hand and pull her mouth back to his for a bone deep, soul shattering kiss, something clicked inside her. Something stronger and deeper. Her muscles contracted around him, pulling tight and gripping his cock like a fist within her. She gasped as the orgasm snuck up on her, and crashed in an instant.

 

Everything around her flashed a brilliant, blinding white as her body convulsed. Marlena felt John’s arms hold her close as her body was wracked by a series of shudders, and even then, she could feel him swelling impossibly bigger inside her. She wanted him with her this time around, and she knew he was almost there. Forcing her way through the haze, she pushed herself up onto trembling knees, and brought her body down hard. Once… twice … until she felt the growl that started in the pit of John’s stomach, and rushed out on a gust of breath. “Now, John!“ she gasped. In a single movement, she lowered her hips with a force she was surprised she even possessed just as John thrust his upwards, and he exploded like a rocket inside her, filling her as only he could, and forcing another orgasm to crash into the last one. All the while she milked him with deliberate, practiced, incredibly erotic movements.

 

The pounding in his chest matched hers, as they both struggled to breath. “Marlena…“ he said with barely enough air in his lungs to form the word. “Oh God, Doc.” He held her close, his hands gently caressing, and her body still trembling with the force of their bliss, and waited for the world to right itself again. He could hear the water spilling over the side to drip into the soggy ground surrounding the tub. “Easy baby.” he soothed. He held her face gently, and touched his forehead to hers. “We don’t want to wreck the place, now do we?”

 

Through the haze of passion, Marlena looked around the tub as the little waves in the water were starting to calm. She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “I guess we don’t.” She let her arms droop exhaustedly around his shoulders, and just enjoyed being able to hold him. It was peaceful and quiet.

 

Perfect. Marlena thought.

 

Perfect. John thought.

 

And then, just like the last time, it came from out of nowhere.

 

And it hit him like a hammer.

 

John felt that jarring ‘click’ in his head that he was becoming familiar with, as another memory rushed into his mind and brought everything around him to a screeching halt. The images actually made him squint, as he tried to see into the darkness. But, unlike the last time, he didn’t feel that odd sense of panic or anxiety. Now it was more of an eagerness to peel away the cobwebs and see what was hiding beneath.

 

Marlena too, it seemed, had come to recognize that look, and in just a few seconds, she watched his expression evolve. His brows furrowed, then his eyes widened as the picture must have become clearer in his mind. He stared at her, but she knew he didn‘t see her. “What do you remember John?” she asked.

 

 

Chapter 18

 

And then, just like the last time, it came from out of nowhere.

 

And it hit him like a hammer.

 

John felt that jarring ‘click’ in his head that he was becoming familiar with, as another set of memories rushed into his mind and brought everything around him to a screeching halt. The images actually made him squint, as he tried to see into the darkness. Whereas before, there was fear and panic, now it was more of an eagerness to peel away the cobwebs and see what was hiding beneath.

 

Marlena too, it seemed, had come to recognize that look, and in just a few seconds, she watched his expression evolve. His brows furrowed, then his eyes widened as the picture must have become clearer in his mind. He stared at her, but she knew he didn‘t see her. Not really. “What do you remember John?” she asked.

 

He wasn‘t the least bit surprised that she could read him so well, and struggled to keep his focus on the images in his head. He tried to reason with himself using what he’d already remembered, hoping that would spur him on.

 

When he didn’t respond to her, Marlena repeated his name louder and more forcefully. Nothing. Worry crept into her thoughts. What now?

 

Suddenly John’s eyes opened wide, shock and terror was written across his face. Suddenly, he couldn’t hear her over the roaring in his ears as the images flooded his mind, each one becoming clearer as they came into focus, until ; John didn’t want to look at the pictures in his head now. He began to wish desperately for a way to switch them off, but of course there was none.

 

As if the last batch of memories he’d recalled earlier in the day hadn’t been rough enough, these were particularly disturbing. The images and the sounds that accompanied them flashed thru his brain, but now they were hurtful, and painful. Literally physically painful. The details were cloudy, but the pictures were sharp and stark, and the feelings floored him.

 

He felt the ache that sliced through his chest like a spear as he stood on the damp ground in the small cemetery and looked down at a gravestone – with her name on it.

 

He felt his own hopelessness, as he held her lifeless body, limp in his arms from a bullet hole, while the roar of the helicopters circled overhead.

 

His stomach took a nauseating little flip as he watched his own trembling hand slowly stroke her lifeless cheek as she lay in a black body bag on its way to the morgue, her skin cooling under his touch despite his profound despair and his refusal to believe they had lost the battle, as a little old priest whose name he couldn’t quite recall mumbled quietly in a corner, praying for the safety of her soul.

 

Through the fog, he felt her hands on his face as she tugged him back to the present and commanded his attention. Confusion still prevailed. His eyes turned to her at last , and she watched them finally begin to focus. “John?”

 

His voice was small and strangled. “I lost you? Over and over?“ he stared at her. “How?” he gasped, his bewilderment evident. ” You’d been …shot? And… and I remembered a , a cemetery plot? “ His hands moved involuntarily along her arms, his grip tight, desperate to feel her. “And there was a priest…he was praying for you and saying …….“ he paused , obviously still puzzled. “…..the Devil won? What – the – hell?!”

 

Marlena wondered how she was going to explain this myriad of stories. She moved away from him, and took his hand to lead him from the tub. “Come on, lets get out of here .”

 

He held onto her hand, but didn’t budge. He stared at her, his eyes filling with tears…and fear. His fingers gripped hers so tightly , it began to cut off her circulation. She gentled her voice, but kept her tone firm.

 

“It’s all right John, its just a memory.” She watched his eyes bore into her own searching for assurance. “Its all in the past. I’m fine. I’m right here with you and I’m fine. “ she smiled at him as he seemed to gather his thoughts . “I promise.”

 

John knew he could trust anything she told him, but still, his head was swirling with confusion.

 

How could he remember her being dead? Dead! He was sure of it. And yet, here she was with him. He had no doubt that he’d made love to her just a short time before, hell, his body was still tingling. But his brain was still struggling to process this information. How? How could all these things be true? None of the pieces seemed to fit.

 

Then a single word popped into his head that explained everything – and nothing.

 

Stefano.

 

He nodded his head, and rose slowly, never letting go of her hand. They navigated their way out of the tub and down the wooden steps and John moved automatically to the rack that held fluffy towels and reached for one with his free hand. He shook it loose and stretched an arm behind Marlena before he dared release her, to use both hands to wrap the fabric securely around her shoulders. He ran his palms up and down along her arms under the pre-text of helping to dry her, but more to the point was the need he had to feel her. As long as he could touch her, he felt reassured.

 

But Marlena could read his face. Doubt. Suspicion. And fear. They were all still there.

 

Marlena fought to keep her teeth from chattering as even the lightest breeze touched her heated and still dripping wet skin. She wiggled a palm out from under the towel to lay it over his heart until her eyes snagged his once more. “I’m here. I am right here with you and I’m not going anywhere. Neither are you. “

 

“I…..I saw them, zip you into a ….body bag. How is….how is that not real? How?? Dear God!” John pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and struggled to make sense of the pictures in his head.

 

Marlena hated to see to him struggle, but she knew there was no way around it. John had to work his way through the memories so that he could process everything properly. She watched him stalk angrily to the rack and grab another towel which he wrapped hastily around his hips. He turned to her, and pinned her with a look.

 

“Tell me.” he said darkly.

 

“John, I think its better if…”

 

“No Marlena, NOW! I want to know, now! I don’t want to wait and waste more time trying to put this fucking puzzle back together. I want to know. NOW! “ he demanded again.

 

Marlena understood. And for as much as the psychiatrist in her wanted to sit back and let her ‘patient’ work through the thoughts and the feelings and the memories, she knew that John would not rest until he got an explanation. Marlena moved to tuck the towel around her body before she reached for his hand an led him over to the bench.

 

Sitting with him, she decided to tackle the biggest hurdle and she tried to explain the twisted events that led up to her Possession. She watched as John tried to fit the pictures in his mind into the fabric of this wild and unimaginable tale she was weaving.

 

It wasn’t easy for Marlena, mainly because there were so many things that happened during that time, that she’d never understood, and could never quite recall. What was especially laughable was that, most of what she knew about that horrible, dark time and the grueling exorcism that followed was what John himself had told her. From the onset, she’d been so sick trying to battle the demon inside her, her memories were sketchy at best. Then of course, once the demon had taken her in his grip, she had only brief moments of clarity that she’d ever been able to recall. The rest was still a blur.

 

Over the years, there had been many times when her curiosity had just overwhelmed her and she HAD to ask him questions. John always started off answering as patiently as he could, but invariably as he began to recount the details, he pushed aside the toll those months had taken on him, and ended up mainly just frustrated and resentful of the pain that had been heaped upon her. The effects of that time had been unspeakably hard on them both. And although they had eventually triumphed, it hadn’t been without pain, despair and immense sacrifice.

 

John never liked to talk about it. He never liked for her to think about it. He wanted it – for lack of a better word; buried. Back then they’d thought his past as a priest was what had given him the strength and the knowledge to stand by her side and fight for her; body and her soul. But in the years that followed, and the constant confusion about his ever-changing past, they’d come to agree that is was actually their love that had bolstered them to tackle even the most insurmountable odds. And win.

 

Her heart broke a little as she watched him struggle. His eyes would every so often catch on something she said, and would flicker with remembrance and comprehension. She could see him cataloging and cross referencing in his head, as he reassembled the bits and pieces. She explained as best she could, and shrugged her shoulders hopelessly at the gaps neither of them had ever been able to fill.

 

He looked lost, and defeated, and Marlena hated seeing him like that. She had to rid him of that attitude, at once. She smiled a little as she thought of a way. She reached back….

 

“But we found each other again. And we were stronger for it. No matter what the odds, we always find our way back to one another.” she rested her palm on his cheek in the manner he was becoming so dependant upon. “I always come back to you.“ she smiled at him, and decided in that instant to take an immense leap of faith. “John. You remember that night…..on the Pier, don‘t you?”

 

He looked up at her, and was about to shake his head, when she pressed on, never giving him an actual chance to answer, as she pulled his memory from the shadows of his own mind. She spoke calmly and as though there were no doubt that he’d remember.

 

“We’d been separated for 5 lonely, miserable years. I’d made my way back to Salem after so, so long.” She looked over at him and saw his eyes shuffle through his memories as she painted a picture. “And I fought my way off that island and back to you. All I wanted was to find you, to tell you that I was home and that I was safe.”

 

John looked up at her, and a tiny spark flared in his eyes. Marlena felt that little shiver of hope race through her blood and she pushed on again. “I’d been gone so long, and … things… had changed. The children were bigger, and you had… well, you had begun to move on with your life. And for a brief moment, I thought there might not be a chance that we could be together again. But, oh…” she sighed and smiled in that wayof hers, “ I just could never give up on us.”

 

John looked at her, as the light began to dawn. His eyes silently pleaded with her to continue.

 

“Do you remember how foggy it was that night? I went to the Pier, I didn’t know why, except that it made me feel close to you. I somehow just… I just knew it was the right thing to do.“ She tried to keep her breathing steady, but it wasn’t so easy since her heart was racing, as she reached back in time, and used his own words to paint the picture. “ It was like, some mysterious force was directing me there. I’d never felt it before. But somehow, I knew I had to be there…. my heart knew…. I’d find you there.”

 

John looked at her, and as if a veil had been lifted, he saw it all. Almost like magic he was transported to the dark, quiet corner of the pier where he often went to be alone with his thoughts. He could here the dull tolling of the bells from the buoys in the harbor and the foghorn off in the distance, and he could smell that musty , wet aroma of the river. He turned at the sound of lithe footsteps across the creaky old wooden planks, and watched in awe, as the figure emerged out of the mist. The silhouette of the body he’d worshipped every inch of came slowly into focus, step by step. He saw the pale

golden glow of her hair, and saw the sheen of the tears that dampened her cheeks as she approached him. And even in his memory, he swore he could feel the tiny charges of electricity that skittered across his skin when she was close to him. Every tiny detail rushed forward like a tidal wave.

 

Marlena watched John’s eyes widen and pin hers, and in that second, she knew her gamble had paid off, and that he did indeed remember. Her heart all but exploded. “You always said it was like… it was like …”

 

“Like a miracle.” he finished on a rush of breath. Just as he did all those years ago, his hand reached out with a tentative tremble and grazed her cheek in wonder. Feeling the warmth of her skin seep through his fingers to rocket through his system gave him an odd sense of peace “ I do remember. I couldn’t believe it was really you. I‘d fantasized about it a million times… I just… had to touch you.” His hand slid along her soft skin and he pulled her close, and pressed her against him. His breath warmed her ear. “I remember. Oh Doc, I remember. ”

 

Marlena loved the feel of his arms enfolding her, and the joy she could feel radiating from him, at his most recent accomplishment. She shivered and sent up a silent prayer of thanks. John felt the tremor that went through her and was instantly alarmed as he pulled back to look down at her

 

“Jesus, your freezing.” he murmured, looking around and jolting himself back to the present. Realizing where they were he released her and moved to get their clothes from the haphazard pile near the steps to the Jacuzzi. Worry tinged his voice. “God, I’m sorry Doc. Here, let me help you get dressed.”

 

Marlena shivered more from the loss of him beside her more than she did from the cool breeze that passed thru the flaps of the tent every so often. With the spa off, the steam had dissipated, and the air in the woods had cooled as daylight began to disappear. John began to untangle their clothes and started handing pieces to her. She pulled on her panties and bra and stepped into her pants, just before the chills set in.

 

John held her jacket open for her, and she slid her arms into the sleeves, grateful for the warmth. His hands smoothed the fabric over her shoulders, just before he released her to sort through the pile of his own clothes. She grabbed his hand, causing him to stop, and look up at her. “It’s going to be allright you know. I just know it will.”

 

John smiled and stroked her chin with his knuckle. “ I’m starting to believe it might be.” He began pulling on his own clothes and sat beside her on the bench as they put their socks and shoes on. His voice was so quiet Marlena almost didn’t hear him. “I will make you a promise, Marlena.”

 

Marlena looked over at him, and cocked her head. “What’s that?” she asked softly.

 

“It’ll never happen again. The DiMera’s will never weasel their way into our lives again.” he said with certainty.

 

Marlena smiled wanly. “I hope your right.”

 

As Marlena stood to move away, John grabbed her hand and forced her to face him as he rose to his feet. His eyes had gone hard, and his jaw was set. “I’ll make sure of it. Just as I will make sure that Stefano pays for what he’s done. One way or the other, the bastard won’t get away with what he‘s put us through. That’s a promise.” His voice was calm, and it was quiet….and it was as cold as ice.

 

Marlena looked at him, and was about to speak, but John held up a hand to halt her.

 

“I know, I know.” he said forcefully. “You don’t want the animosity to continue. But the longer he gets away with his lies and his manipulations, the longer he’ll think he has the freedom to do whatever he damn well pleases with people’s lives.” He looked at her, and gentled his voice as he saw a spark of fear cross her face. He raised his hands to her shoulders and held her gaze. “Sooner or later, it has to come to an end. And I have no intention of letting that crazy old man run roughshod over us anymore. He’s taken too much from us already.”

 

Marlena knew he was right, but still didn’t like the idea of John seeking vengence. Even with his obsession with her and the news that John was his half-brother, Stefano wouldn’t think twice about making them suffer. But there was a hint of something in John’s eyes that she’d never seen before. Something she couldn’t quite place.

 

“Like I told you before. Karma’s a bitch. And it’s long past time for Stefano to get his due.“ John took a deep breath, straightened out his shoulders, and looked around. “All right. Enough talk about him.”

 

Marlena smiled, pleased to end that part of the conversation. “Good.”

 

“Good.“ he agreed with a nod of his head. “Now, what do you say we had back to the Inn before it gets too dark.”

 

“Excellent idea.”

 

John busied himself with replacing the cover on the Jacuzzi, turning off the generator, and setting everything back the way it was. Marlena folded the damp towels they’d used and carried them out as John zipped the heavy canvas flaps back in place and closed up the tent. Circling his hand around her waist, they retraced their earlier steps back to the Inn.

 

********************************************************************

 

 

Chapter 19

 

Over the days and nights that followed, John’s mind was filled; literally, with the pieces of his past. It seemed that the floodgates had indeed been opened, and it took very little effort now for the memories to come racing back to him. Whether it was little brief flashes or huge chunks of time, they crammed their way into his subconscious, and took root. There didn’t seem to be much rhyme or reason anymore, things just hurried forward in a jumbled rush of times and dates, and with Marlena’s help, John began the Herculean task of trying to put things in order.

 

They spent the better part of the next week secluded in their protective little bubble at the Inn. Away from the rest of the world, and focused on one another, John slowly eased back into his old skin. It was a sight Marlena had prayed for, for more months than she cared to count.

 

Marlena watched the little signs of ‘her’ John re-emerge. His body language began to change bit by bit every day. The way he unconsciously rubbed his palms together as he spoke. The way his eyes watched her move across the room, as he re-learned her body out of bed, as well as he had in bed. The way he sat on the sofa, arms stretched across the back, relaxed and comfortable instead of stiff and formal, and always leaving room for her to curl up beside him. And oh, the way his eyebrow would lift all by itself as his mind began to recognize and catalog the events of his past. All of it gave her the most amazing sense of comfort and ease.

 

His demeanor changed too. Much to Marlena’s delight, John stopped trying to be relaxed and calm. He simply was. Not for overly long periods of time, mind you, but he was getting there.

 

They talked endlessly, bouncing back and forth through more than 20 years of time.

John marveled at how Marlena juggled the past and the present, and seemed to never tire of filling in the missing bits and pieces when his thoughts became too sparse. She kept him in line when his patience wore thin, and celebrated every tiny accomplishment as if it were a world-class achievement. She always seemed to know when to push him to dig a little deeper, and when to ease back and let him make discoveries on his own. With her help and her guidance, he uncovered more than either of them ever could have imagined his mind was ready to give.

 

John began to enjoy the challenge of building the bridge between the man he was and the man he was becoming. Hell, he’d even begun to ‘like’ John Black. Not because of his money, and not because of his possessions, both of which were extensive, but because, as usual, Marlena had been right when she’d said that John Black was a man who had literally invented himself, and built a life he could be proud of. He was admired and respected by his friends , he was revered by his business peers, and he was adored by his family. John seemed to be the person people depended on for help or for called for advice, or leaned on for support. It must be why he and Marlena had made such a dynamic pair.

 

In his push to reclaim himself, he’d had Albert make a run to a local electronics store and pick up a nifty new laptop for him, so he could do some online research. He was stunned as all hell when the boy offered to ‘trick it out’ for him. Turns out Albert was something of a techno whiz, a fact John filed away for future reference. He had started with a standard Google search on himself, and had been more than pleasantly surprised to find a wealth of information on the self-made millionaire named John Black, and more importantly on his arsenal of business interests.

 

John had controlling interests and seats on the Boards of both Alamaine Industries and The Toscano Foundation; both of which had prospered and expanded immensely over the years as a direct result of John’s input.

 

But it was the commercial juggernaut known as Basic Black that had surprised and pleased John the most. Basic Black – the company, was huge. Really huge. What had begun with an initial investment of just under $10 million almost a decade ago, had virtually exploded into a thriving and self-sustaining worldwide empire. A billion dollar one at that. Yes. That was billion – with a capital “B”.

 

And from all signs, it showed no signs of slowing down anytime soon.

 

Basic Black may have started with a small local fashion house in Salem, and a few magazines scattered across the U.S., but today it encompassed more than 400 other businesses with satellite offices in places like Italy, Hong Kong, Geneva, Brazil and the UK, just to name a few. And from all accounts, John Black was as ‘hands-on’ of a boss, as they came.

 

His head was swimming at how he could possibly have been so involved with all the intricacies of companies centered around things as varied as fashion, technologies, communications, publishing, aeronautics, medical research and security. Basic Black was also heavily invested in real estate around the world and had just begun a company wide “Go Green with Black” initiative that was praised by the global business market as a leader in fostering new methods of energy conservation and developing more ecologically friendly products.

 

He corralled Albert again one afternoon while Marlena was reading in the bedroom, and the two men huddled, shoulder to shoulder at the coffee table scanning one webpage after another. Turns out, not only was the boy a hell of a researcher, but Albert was also a grade-A, bonafide hacker with many questionable and perhaps slightly illegal skills. All of which John found immensely helpful. Plus, with a computer in front of him, he was completely in his element. When the boy sat at the keyboard, his fingers moved in a blur of motion.

 

Albert, with his patented shy smile, was even able to hack his way into several of Basic Black’s lesser guarded computer systems and dig around for more information for John on the company‘s ‘inner-workings‘, and the rush he got in doing so, put a zing in the kid’s step that was almost tangible. After making a mental note to tighten up his own companies’ computer security, John wasted no time in harnessing that energy and further enlisted Albert’s help in doing a little research on some other Salem based companies.

 

Namely, DiMera Enterprises.

 

It was almost laughable at how a young man with an ordinary laptop could manage to crawl through so many “back doors” as Albert put it, but sure enough, he found the holes in DiMera’s computer networks as well, and was able to shine a spotlight on enough information that had a plan forming in John’s mind. After almost 2 solid hours of ‘discoveries’, John sat back against the couch cushions and exhaled. The power and the magnitude of what he and Albert had uncovered in just a short time was massive. Luckily for John, Albert was so focused on the tech end of his little hacking triumph, he had no idea of the scope of the information he’d actually uncovered.

 

But John did.

 

The boy was still so jazzed, he was virtually bouncing in his seat. He looked back over his shoulder at John. “So like, this Stefano dude. Does he seriously think using outdated computer software and simple 10 digit encryptions is gonna keep his information safe? Cuz, I’ll tell ya, me and my bud Croaker hacked into the DMV system to do a little vanishing act on some outstanding parking tickets, and even they have better security than this dude. And the DMV‘s servers suck!”

 

John was pulled from his thoughts. He looked at Albert. “Croaker?”

 

Albert smiled. “His real name is Walter – which is truly sucky.” he explained in all seriousness.

 

“But, like, during the championship football game last year, where Salem U got totally spanked by the way, “ he added gravely, “the dude drank like, everything in sight, and I mean everything! “ he stressed with a chuckle. “But then he got the heaves. Man, he threw up so many times, we figured somewhere along the line, he actually puked up his voicebox. Since then, every time he opens his mouth, he pretty much sounds like a dying frog, you know? So…. we all started calling him Croaker. And it just stuck. ”

John chuckled at the thought, and tried to recall his own teenage years, but came up blank. He remembered Marlena saying there were parts of his past he never had recovered. He figured, his high school years and even his childhood must have been what she meant.

 

He looked at the closed bedroom door, and decided he’d done enough digging for the day. “All right then, my friend.” John said to the boy, who practically glowed at the use of the term, “Let’s call it for today, shall we.” He stood and held out his hand. “You’re pretty impressive with a computer, you know. “

 

Albert suddenly looked down at the floor, and his cheeks flamed with embarrassment. “Yeah. I know.”

 

“Hey, don’t get me wrong, I appreciated it.”

 

“Oh I know.” he said somewhat sadly. “Not too many people would agree with you though.”

 

John grinned knowingly. “I’ll assumed that you and your buddy Croaker must have gotten into a tight spot or two?“ Maybe hacking into the DMV to erase parking tickets from someone’s driving records wasn’t the worst that the boys had done.

 

Albert’s face went beet red.

 

John nudged him with an elbow. “Well, I can tell you from personal experience, that the past is the past. Nothing you can do about it. You have to live for today, and be the best person that you can be. And you? You’ve been extraordinarily helpful to me. And I won’t forget it.”

 

The boy couldn’t hide the smile that crept across his face at John‘s compliment. There was pride in his voice when he looked up at John again, and shook his hand. “Thanks Mr. Black. Thanks for…you know, giving me a chance.”

 

John’s brain was still in fast forward mode, and he spoke off the cuff. “Incidentally. That little trick you showed me, about reversing the way the system reads the data, even on those encrypted programs you mentioned, and makes everything accessible? You know how to do that?

 

Albert chuckled smugly. “The one so the stupid passwords get stored in the memory before the server has a chance to even encrypt it at all, and you just cruise right on past all the security? That’s pretty cool, huh?”

 

“Yeah.“ John said absently, trying to keep his focus. “Well, would something like that work on a computer, or even a program that was designed primarily to just extract information?”

 

Albert thought for a minute. “You mean to hi-jack the data, and converse the direction of the micro-processors and re-route the code and back it into a phantom file before it hit’s the mainframe’s firewall?”

 

John sighed heavily and leveled him with a look. “English, please.”

 

“Oh sorry. I mean, you wanna like…do it all backwards? Like, start with the finished program and just… reverse the whole smack? To make it , like, upload instead of download without any mainframe encryption interference and shit….uh, I mean, stuff like that?”

 

John nodded, “Exactly.“ relieved he didn’t have to explain more. “And do it all anonymously of course.” John added.

 

Albert’s brain was positively crackling with ideas as the wheels began to turn. “Dude! That. Is. Wicked!” he shouted with a bark of a laugh, then slapped a hand over his mouth, afraid he’s might have made too much noise, as his eyes shifted nervously to the bedroom door. When he moved his hand and spoke again, it was in a voice just above a whisper. “ I know a guy who tried to do something like that with “Guitar Hero” , you know, he tried to sneak inside, see how it works, then break it down and make a cheaper knock-off version? But let me tell ya, whoever designed that freakin program should work for NASA, cuz that stuff is radically tight!”

 

“But do you think it can be done?” John pressed, forcing him to focus.

 

Albert’s cheeks flushed with color as he shrugged bashfully. “Well, pretty much anything can be done, it may just take some time. Do you have this program you’re talkin about?”

John only shrugged noncommittally. “Not yet. I might be able to get my hands on it, though. “

 

Albert shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I can search around the chat rooms and message boards and things after I get off work. See what the latest talk is.“

 

John looked at him oddly. “You think somebody may already know how to do this kinda thing?”

 

“Everybody knows how to do, but pulling it off is a whole ‘nother story. But who knows? Maybe.“ Albert said. “I mean, if ya look around, there might be something someone has already come up with that we could just tweek. Sure would save time if somebody else has already done the legwork.“

 

“And you think your hacker friends will just be shooting the breeze about it?” John asked incredulously.

 

Albert shuffled his feet shyly. “Some nerds like to brag.”

 

John straightened his back. “You’re not one of them I assume?”

 

Albert shook his head violently. “Naw, not anymore. I learned the hard way. “

 

“All right. “ John sighed. “Let’s play it by ear, and see what you can turn up.”

 

“K. I mean, who knows? We might find something already all hammered out. Then all we gotta do is customize the way we need it. “ He caught himself, and looked awkward for a moment.

 

“You. I meant, YOU could customize it. “

 

John stuck out his hand for Albert to shake, and was glad to see that the boy wasn’t constantly flinching anymore when he did that. “No, you were right. WE could. That is if you’d agree to help me.“ The John laid on the charm. “I‘d never be able to pull something like this off without your expertise.“

 

The young man’s smile was generous and sincere, but still guarded. “As long as we can keep it on the down low, you bet.”

 

John’s eyebrow kicked up, “Is there something I should know about Albert? Are you in any trouble?”

 

The boy shook his head. “No! Nuh uhn!” he said vehemently. “Well. Not any more.” He looked guiltily at the floor. “My um, ‘little stunt’ as Grace calls it, with the DMV , landed we a gnarly slap on the wrist and a whole year of probation instead of time in Juvie. Grace’s brother was the judge and agreed to let me do my ‘community service’ by working here. But my time is up next month. Finally. ” he said rolling his eyes to the heavens.

 

“Albert, I promise you, with anything we work on together, you’ll have my complete protection. And I want your word that what we discuss stays between us. Man to man. NO exceptions.”

 

Albert‘s chest broadened proudly. “Absolutely. Thanks Mr. Black! Thanks a lot.”

 

“Look, you just think about it tonight, and we’ll pick up this conversation tomorrow. In the meantime, I think I’m gonna go wake up Sleeping Beauty in there and see if can’t wrangle a date for dinner out of that pretty lady.” he said jerking his thumb toward the bedroom door with a wink.

 

Albert blushed expectedly at Marlena’s mention, but thankfully, he knew when to make his exit, and began moving to the door. “Oh, OK. Ok. “

 

“There don’t seem to be a lot of other guests here at the moment, are there?” he asked almost as an after-thought.

 

“Nah.” Albert concurred. “Only about 6 rooms are occupied. It’s been kinda slow.” he said as he made his way to the door.

 

“Then can I assume the dining room won’t be too crowded this evening?”

 

Albert stopped and pivoted on his heal. “ Probably not. Unless….“ the boy’s face suddenly shone with excitement .

 

“Unless, what?“

 

“Unless maybe you want me to set up the little private dining room for you and Mrs. Black?”

 

“Private dining room?” John questioned.

 

“Yea, its pretty much in the main dining room but all the way back in the corner facing the garden. You’ve probably seen it from outside. It‘s small, only big enough for 2 people.” he explained. “Usually people reserve it for anniversaries, or if some dude is gonna propose. Junk like that.”

 

John laughed and clapped the boy on the back. “Good to know, but I think I’d like Marlena to ease back into being out in public. We’ll be fine in the main dining room. “ John reached into his pocket and pulled out his money clip.

 

“Oh Mr. Black, honest. You don’t have to…”

 

“Yes, I do. Its important for people to know how much their help and their assistance is appreciated. And you did a hell of a job for me this afternoon. ” John pressed a $100 bill into his shirt pocket. “You take care of looking into that matter that we discussed, and get back to me later. Deal?”

 

Albert nodded with a shy smile. “Deal!” he said gratefully as he walked out.

 

John made sure the door to the suite was locked, took a few deep cleansing breaths and made his way to the bedroom. He opened the door quietly, and looked inside.

Marlena dozed peacefully with her book by her side, curled against the pile of frilly pillows in the center of the bed. She’d left the heavy curtains open and the room was warm from the afternoon sunshine that peaked through the trees and dotted its way across the room in little patches of wavey golden light.

 

John couldn’t help but smile as he looked at her, and he felt his chest tighten in that way he was becoming accustomed to when he saw her. John slipped his shoes off, and circled the bed. He slid onto the mattress as gently as he could and eased his body against her back.