Brady was in his room getting ready to go out for the day. He didn’t want to be locked up in the penthouse with his parents all day long. He didn’t want to be around his father and he didn’t want them to catch on that he really did love them both very much. He especially didn’t want to be around his mother; he felt as though he needed to put on this rebellious front which meant he couldn’t call her ‘Mom’. She was the one person who could see through him and break him. He just wasn’t ready to break yet, for he had too much to work out with his father first. He doused his hands with mouse and smeared it all over his hair styling it in an uneven mess. He grabbed his beaded necklace and slipped into his Birkenstocks and headed downstairs.
***
Marlena was sitting in John’s lap on the couch when Brady came down the stairs. “Good morning, Doc. I missed you.” “You just sat next to me at breakfast plus, you got to hold me all night last night.” “I know, but I missed holding you during breakfast,” he said with a smile. “You goof,” she said as she playfully punched his chest. “Come here, give me your mouth,” John said as he gently pulled his wife’s face toward his.
“I’m leaving so that you two can have the place to yourselves for a few hours. I’m not sure how long you’ll need, so I’ll just stay gone all day,” Brady sarcastically said as he stood behind the couch and watched his father and stepmother enjoying themselves on the couch. John’s attention quickly turned to his son even though he hated to be interrupted from his beautiful wife. After all, they had only been back together for three years, but had been apart ever since Marlena was taken to that island, and he liked using every spare moment with the love of his life.
“Brady Victor Black, you watch your mouth, young man!” his father exclaimed with sternness. “Why, Dad? Everyone knows that the two of you can’t keep your hands off of each other. Hell, that’s why precious little Belle is here, isn’t it? Course, I can’t totally blame you, Dad… I mean, just look at her. She’s one helluva hot babe! You’d be a fool to not want to bang her,” he said while motioning toward Marlena. “What?” asked Marlena. Brady’s words pushed all the right buttons in John. He was growing more and more furious with his son everyday. John was about at his breaking point which he proved when he took Brady by the collar, pushed him into the door, and got in his face, “If I ever hear you speak that way toward your mother again, I swear to you, Brady, I will beat the sh*t out of you.” “Take your damn hands off of me! She’s not my mother! Why can’t you get that through your head!”
Now, Marlena was getting furious. Brady’s words were cutting skin deep, but she could take it. She was capable of taking all that he could dish out at her, for she has been expecting behavior of this type from him for years. But allowing him to talk to his father the way he just did, she would not tolerate. She, too, jumped up and got in Brady’s face, but to separate the two of them, “John, that is not the way to handle your son, and Brady, that is not the way to talk to your father!” “What? Are you psychoanalyzing me, Doc?” “Brady, I’ve about had enough of your smart ass attitude. Why you can’t understand mine and your father’s relationship is beyond me. Far be it for me to tell you what to think, but you better get your act together. I took you in as if you were my own. Granted, it was several years before I adopted you, but you are legally my son. God knows that I did not do it to try and replace your mother, but apparently that is what you are needing. Maybe I’ve been too lax with you, but that is about to change, young man. I am not afraid to be more strict with you and show you who’s boss, so you had better straighten your attitude up, or I will straighten it for you. Have I made myself perfectly clear?”
With his head bowed in shame, he replied, “Yes, ma’am.” Marlena knew how to get to Brady better than anybody. It was ironic that he could talk badly of her and criticize her career, but she was the one person who he actually somewhat listened to. He didn’t like treating his mother that way, but he was confused. And most of the confusion was being directed toward his father. Other people just kept giving him something more to be confused about. “And another thing, if I hear you make another snide remark about what I do for a living, I do not have a problem with subjecting you to psychological testing to show you what it’s really all about.” There was a pause before she continued, “I love you, Brady. And believe it or not, your father does, too.” “I’m sorry, Marlena. May I go?” “Where are you going?” “To hang out over at Robbie’s.” Marlena looked at her son with a ‘I know there’s more’ look. “And we’ll probably wind up going to the dirt track and possibly stay the night with him.” “Thank you,” she confidently said because she knew there was more to his plans that what he had originally lead on, “yes, you may go.” Brady turns and leaves.
Shocked, John asked, “Where the hell did that come from?” Marlena shrugged her shoulders, not really phased by what just took place, “Pent up tension, I suppose.” John joked, “I thought we got rid of all that last night.” Marlena smiled. “I had a sense of the conflict between the two of you before I left for Africa. Now that I’m back, I just wanted him to know that I’m not gonna tolerate it.” “What do you suppose makes him act like that?” “Mmph, he’s a teenager. There’s always some reason for them to hate their parents.” “Come on, Doc, I’m serious here.” “So am I, John. It could be anything. Unfortunately though, if I had to bet, I have a sense that it is directed more toward you. Although I do feel some resentment being directed my way, too. John… he’s a boy that will grow into a man who will never know his birth mother. Somehow or another, I’m sure he holds us responsible.”
“But that’s not fair, Doc. God forbid, we didn’t kill Isabella!” “I know, I know. But he has said it himself, he doesn’t understand why we’re together. In his eyes, he doesn’t see why you aren’t with his birth mother.” “Doc… you know this as well as I do… we might have still had our affair even if Isabella were alive. I hate to admit that, I don’t want to make it sound like our love wasn’t good, but… what you and I share is not deniable. We proved that.” “John, whether or not we would be together right now if Isabella were alive is not the issue. The issue is that there is a possibility that Brady resents us for her death. That’s a heavy weight to carry on our shoulders.”
“So what are you saying, Doc? That our love isn’t strong enough to make it through this?” “Oh no. That’s not what I’m saying at all. We’ll get through this… somehow,” and trying to lighten the mood again, she continued, “hey… you’re stuck with me, bub.” “Oh, Doc… stuck with you is the best place to be,” he said as he hugged her tightly, “and hey… for the record… I believe that fate would have worked out for us somehow. I do believe that no matter what, even if our pasts were different than they are, we would still be standing here married today.” “I agree,” Marlena replied, “and besides, all we have to do is convince Brady that his father and this hot babe really do belong together,” and mimicking her husband’s famous phrase, she continued, “always have, and always will.” And the two lovers came together in a kiss.
“Hey!” John said as he broke their journey through each other’s mouths. “Hey!” Marlena said in return. “I’ve got an idea! Why don’t you and I go up to the Horton Cabin and uh… spend the day there?” “Ahhh! That’s a great idea! And you know what? I’ve got a great idea myself… I don’t have to be back at work until Tuesday morning, so we could even stay the night up there… since it is Labor Day weekend… that is, if you don’t mind spending the night with me… alone… in the woods,” she said teasingly. “Sounds good to me,” he said as he leaned in for another kiss. “Let’s go get packed!” an excited Marlena screamed. “Wait, wait, wait… what do we have to pack? I mean, it’s not like we’re gonna need too many clothes, or anything.” “Ah! John Black!” “What, you’re not gonna skip out on skinny-dipping with me in the lake are you?” “No, no, no, I’m not missing out on that, nuh-uh.” “That’s my girl,” he said as he pulled her back down on the couch for another kiss.
***
“Wow, just look at this place, John. I just love it here.” “Yeah, me too, Doc, it’s so peaceful.” “Yup.” They walked on in the front door and put their bags down by the kitchen table. John took a deep breath taking in the cabin’s outdoorsy aroma, “Ahhh… brings back alot of memories, doesn’t it?” A smile stretched across Marlena’s face as she remembered the night that John helped deliver Belle. “Yes, it does.” “To think how different things might have been if we had known then that Belle was my daughter. So much time was wasted, Doc.” Marlena tried to reassure him, “John it wasn’t totally wasted. You found out the truth when she was just a baby. You were always a big part of her life… you were always a big part of my life. Even though we weren’t together, you were a big part of my life.”
She continued after she had pulled him close to her, “John… do you know… you’ve been my best friend since I’ve known you.” “I do know. And you’ve been my best friend. You’ve been there for me when no one else was. I could not have asked for a better person to know and to fall in love with.” This brought another smile to her face. “I love you, John Black.” “I love you, Marlena Evans Black.”
“So, what do you want to do on this beautiful Saturday afternoon?” “Well, I don’t know. What did you have in mind?” “What did I have in mind? What did I have in mind? I’ll show you what I have in mind!” he says as he picks her up and carries her over his shoulder down to the lake. “John Black if you’re thinking of throwing me in that water with these clothes on, you’d better think twice, mister!” “Oh no, Doc,” he starts to explain as he sets her down in front of him, “your clothes aren’t going in there.” Her eyes got wide at his response. “Your clothes are stopping right here. So what do ya say? Take a swim with me?” “Last one in’s a rotten egg,” and she started running for the lake as she dropped each piece of clothing along the way. John stood with jaws dropped as he watched in awe of her beauty.
***
The warm summer night air consumed them. They sat on the front porch swing, gliding through the air with the gracefulness that too lovers share. John had his arm around Marlena as she sat close to him, her head on his chest. Her hand subconsciously traced small circles on his jeans as they both stared off into the darkness. “John,” she began with a soft voice, “have you ever thought about getting a place like this for us?” “You mean, you’d like living out in the country with all the bugs?” “Well, I didn’t say I’d like the bugs, but don’t you just love how peaceful it is?” “I do.” “And it would be so neat to have our own garden that led down to a pond. Of course, we’d have our swimming pool, too,” she said with a smile. “Sounds pretty good to me, but have you thought about the fact that our kids are getting older, and they may not live at home with us for too much longer?” A pouty-face expression covered Marlena’s face, “Augh… don’t remind me.” With a chuckle, John said, “Sorry, honey,” and kissed her forehead.
“Ya know, Doc… I just love being here with you like this. I’ve always wanted to do things with you that we never got to experience together. It was hard watching you with Roman, or just watching you be alone when we would see each other at family functions. So many times I wanted to be the one to bring you to a Brady-Horton barbecue.” “I know what you mean… especially the part about having to watch me with someone else.” He knew that was directed toward him regarding Kristen. “I’m so sorry for not confronting you sooner about my love for you. So much precious time has wasted that I could have shared with you… not just shared with you, but shared intimately with you. As a couple.” Marlena shrugged her shoulders as if unable to come up with a suitable answer, “Well, you know… everything happens for a reason. But look at the bright side. We are together now. And we’re married,” she said as she sat up to look at her husband with a huge smile engrossing her face.
“I love you, Marlena.” “I love you, JB.” “What do ya say we go inside and make up for some of that lost time?” “I say, you’re on.” And John picked his wife up in his arms and carried her inside to a candle filled room. “Ah! John Black, when did you do this?” “When I got up to get our tea,” he said with a satisfied grin. “You sneak.” “You like?” Marlena took a long gaze around the cabin soaking in all of the candlelight that she could before turning to John, “Yes, I like.”
John took Marlena’s hand and led her to the sofa bed which was covered in satin sheets and rose pedales. A bottle of chilled champagne sat on ice next to the bed. Marlena finally noticed a small gift box neatly placed in the center of all the pedals. Her eyes lit up like a little girl’s. “For me?” “Yes ma’am,” he replied as they sat side by side and he handed her the box. She opened it slowly and peered down at its contents. “John… it’s beautiful.” He took the ring in his hand and placed it on her right ring finger with a kiss. “Do you know what it symbolizes?” “Tell me,” she said as her eyes glistened.
It was a gold band with the middle cut out. In it sat three stones which were held in place by a small gold raised strip on either side of the band’s cut-out. “Well, this here Opal symbolizes yours and Belle’s birthdays, the Amethyst signifies Brady’s birthday and my arrival in Salem, and last, but definitely not least, the Ruby in the middle symbolizes our wedding anniversary.” Marlena started to cry. “Oh, honey!” she said through tear-soaked eyes, “thank you so much! I love it!” “Oh, Doc, I love you.” The two lovers hugged and began kissing each other with a passion that was not often experienced by the average couple.
Page 2 of 76They sat kissing on the edge of the sofa bed while the room lie bathed in candlelight. John breathlessly paused for air as he gazed into his wife’s eyes. The backside of her hand slid down his cheek while peering back at him into his soul. He reached up and placed his hand on the inside of her button-down shirt and gently caressed her skin. She fiercely placed her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him toward her mouth. After a moment, he broke their kiss and continued unbuttoning her shirt. He then slid it off of her body before grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her back onto the bed while climbing up beside her…
As his hand continued its journey over her creamy skin, he began to feel this uneasy and unsettling emotion. He was beginning to feel guilty about being with Marlena while intentionally keeping a secret from her. ‘How can I make love to her while lying to her? But how can I *not* make love to her?’ he thought to himself. Just then, Marlena reached up and removed his blue t-shirt. She tried to pull him on top of her and did not notice his hesitation. He cupped her chin in his hand and gently rubbed his lips on hers. He was trying to convince himself that this was right. It was right to make love to his wife… even though he was keeping a major secret from her that had the capabilities of destroying their marriage, but her touch was driving him crazy…
She interrupted her exploration of his chest, “John,” she began as he propped himself on his elbow beside her, “did you know that I missed you terribly while in Africa?” “Probably not as much as I missed you, Doc,” he said with all the seriousness he had ever experienced. “I would lay in my bunk, listening to all the noises of the night, and all I could think about was… you. At the same time I was feeling strong and helpful over there, but deep inside all I really wanted was your arms around me saying it was going to be alright.” “Oh, Doc, in my heart and mind I was there with you every night.” She smiled at him with glistening eyes. “And you don’t need my arms around you for you to know how special you are.” “Yeah, but it helps,” and she winked at him.
“But, Doc, did you know that when your arms are around me, it really does make me feel more special?” She looked at quizzically. “Yeah, Doc. When you’re not around, I’m just half a man. But when you’re near me, I feel whole again. I really am nothing without you.” “Honey, are you alright?” She could tell that something wasn’t right. “I’ve never heard you talk like this before.” “Of course, I’m alright, honey. I’ve got you, don’t I?” Not quite convinced, she smiled and replied, “Yes, you do,” and she picked up where she had left off… her hands exploring the lower half of his body and circling his nipples with her tongue.
‘I can’t do this. I can’t do this to her… to us. What if she is already suspicious? Have I been that obvious with my hesitation?’ John couldn’t control his thoughts while being caressed by her. As Marlena is kissing her lover’s body with her tongue and mouth, and trailing her fingers over every inch of his body, being sure to linger in the most sensitive of areas, he is thinking to himself, ‘Her touch is driving me wild. I can’t continue this hesitation much longer without her realizing something is wrong. I’ve got to fight her touch… I can’t make love to her with these thoughts going through my head… I can’t make love to her and feel guilty at the same time… but how can I turn her down? She’ll know something is wrong and then I won’t be able to look her in the eye and *not* tell her… but I can’t right now. I’m just not ready.’
Finally, the silence was broken, “John,” she began while looking deep into his eyes and into his soul, “make love to me.” “Doc…” “Make love to me right now, John. I can’t stand another minute of not being closer to you,” and she continued with her voice lowered, “I need you.” That was all it took; John was mesmerized by his wife’s beauty, touch, and words. All he could think of now was to satisfy her every desire.
He softly touched his lips to hers and confidently slipped his tongue into her mouth. He felt her groan from deep within as he made his way around the inside of her mouth. His hands found a place of their own to wander as he gently rubbed her nipples until they were hard. That was not enough for her. She, too, wanted to caress his skin, so she found the belt to his jeans and began undoing it. Moments later, both their jeans and undergarments were pilled on the floor.
She grabbed him between the legs which forced a groan of passion from him, and he could not control himself any loner; her touch was too much for him to ignore. He pushed her back on the silk sheets and climbed on top of her. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist as he slid into her. Marlena moaned with desire for more. The two lovers moved swiftly with each other, creating a unique rhythm all their own, as they carried each other to new heights.
The passion that they experienced was unlike any other. There was a feeling of desperation that shot through both of them with every stroke of love. Perhaps in John, it was because he knew the time was nearing to tell her the truth, and that this could be the last time he would ever make love to her. And perhaps in Marlena, she had a sense that something wasn’t right, and she, too, feared that she would never feel him again. Whatever the case, it was on a more subconscious level, but it did have a tremendous affect on the way they made love on this night.
Page 3 of 76Marlena had gone to her office a little before noon on Labor Day Monday to see a patient who had previously canceled. She didn’t want her patients to feel as though a holiday was more important than they were, so she occasionally agreed to make special arrangements. One o’clock was steadily approaching as she heard her cell phone ring.
“Hello? Dr. Evans,” she answered. “Hi, Marlena, it’s Victor.” “Oh, hi, Victor! What can I do for you?” “I need to talk to you for a moment… am I interrupting anything?” “Uh, no, Victor, what is it?” “It’s about John.” “John?” “Yes. Forgive me for being so personal, but is everything all right at home?” “Well, yes… as far as I know they are, I mean, I just arrived home from Africa Friday night.” “Oh yes, how was your trip?” “It was sad, but helpful for those people over there. I want to thank you for making the donation that you did. You’ll probably be getting a call from Bill Horton very soon to thank you personally.” “Yes, well actually, I just received that call this morning. It is good to know that he was able to put it to good use.” “Very good use, Victor. So what’s this about John?”
“Marlena, since you have been out of town, John has missed the past two Titan board meetings.” “Oh?” she asked surprisingly, “did he give a reason?” “No. I haven’t talked to him in over a month.” “Well, Victor, I’m not sure what is going on, but I’ll surely find out. Is there a message that I can give him for you?” “Uh, no, and in fact… you don’t even have to worry about talking to John.”
Victor’s statement confused Marlena for she had always known that Victor and her husband had a good professional and personal relationship. After all, Brady was his grandson and it had always been in his best interest that John remained an active part in Titan. “Victor, I’m not sure I understand what you mean.” “Marlena, I’ve never known John to ignore his professional duties and I don’t intend to interfere with his judgment. If he’s got something that he needs to work out, that is fine with me. I completely understand that his personal life must come first, that is why I was curious if there was something wrong at home. But Marlena… I do need someone here in his place until he does get whatever it is worked out. Would you be interested in filling in for him for a little while?” “Oh Victor, I’m not sure if it would be my place to.”
“Well, you are his wife, so technically you can stand in for him. Besides, you’ve worked with this organization before, and you do have some stock in Titan yourself.” “Right, but John and I had agreed to use all of our stocks in one voice.” “And you can do that, but you could also both participate in these board meetings as two individual persons. But that’s neither here, nor there. My point is… I really need one of you here, especially over the next couple of months, and if I had to choose, I’d have to say that my preference is to have you here.” “Why me and not John?” “Well, you know you are both welcome, but there is a project coming up that Titan will be involved in and I think that you are the perfect person to oversee it. It would only require about an hour extra work out of your day.”
“Oh, Victor, I’m not so sure that I could fit that into my schedule. I…” Victor interrupted her, “No need to worry, Marlena. It will only take a couple of days of coming by the office to get the ball rolling. Once the project has begun, you’ll only need to actually come by here once, maybe twice a week. All of your work can pretty much be done on your own.” “Well, your offer sure sounds intriguing, but that is because I don’t know what it is yet. What exactly is this job you’re wanting me for?” “Marlena, I’d rather not get into it over the phone. Why don’t you come by my office a little later today and we’ll talk, say 2 o’clock?” And before she could tell him ‘no’, he had another call and had to go.
‘Hmph’, she thought to herself, ‘that was odd. Wonder what that was all about?’ She glanced at her watch and noticed that it was already 1:15pm. Victor had definitely sparked her interest and she wanted to go and see for herself what this great thing was. She gathered her purse and brief case and left her office. On the way out, she stopped at her secretary’s desk, “Cynthia, I’m leaving for the rest of the day. You know you didn’t have to be here with me this morning.” “I know, Dr. Evans, but I was coming in here anyway to get a jump on a few things for the week.” “Ok, but be sure not to stick around here too long, ok? Have a good Labor Day, and I’ll see you in the morning.” “Oh, no need to rush, Dr. Evans. Your nine o’clock canceled, but don’t get upset… she rescheduled for the next day.” Marlena looked at her silently asking for an explanation. Smiling, Cynthia continued, “She’s going to attempt a dentist visit on her own. Good work, doctor.” This brought a satisfied grin to Marlena’s face.
***
“Ah! Marlena! I’d like you to meet Damon Drake. Damon, this is the legendary Dr. Marlena Evans.” The tall tan man with an elegant black suit took the doctor’s hand, “It’s very good to meet you in person, Dr. Evans. You’re reputation precedes you.” “Thank you, Mr. Drake. And it’s a pleasure to meet you as well.” “Oh, no… the pleasure is all mine,” Damon said with a smile. “Well,” Victor broke in, “now that we’ve got that taken care of, shall we begin?” They all sat down at Victor’s conference table.
She couldn’t help but notice its shine. A twinkle came to her eye as she flashed back to a night of passion. A night that she would never forget. She remembered how tender the love-making on the plane was compared to their time on the conference table. That night on the table she experienced an electrical charge of sexual energy. Sexual passion that she only shares with John. The night of the Bella magazine party is one that she would never forget. In fact, making love to John at the cabin over the weekend was also a time she would never forget, for the desperation that they experienced was a force in which to be reckoned.
Marlena had hardly heard a word that was spoken she was so engulfed in her memories of being with John. “Marlena, what do you think about that?” questioned Victor. “Uh… what do I think about…” Victor continued, “About you being our spokesperson for ‘Woman of the Century’.” “Me? Oh, I don’t know. I mean, I’m not qualified to…” Damon interrupted, “Don’t be silly, Dr. Evans, you are the perfect choice for such a position.”
“Why do I get the feeling that there is something that you’re not telling me?” Victor figured he had better tell her the full truth before her suspicions turned her against the project. He gave the nod to Damon signifying that he would go ahead and fill her in completely, “Marlena, we flew Mr. Drake here in from New York City to help us with this new project. You’re looking at the best marketing and advertising executive in all of the country.” “Marketing and advertising? I’m not sure I follow.”
“Dr. Evans, I’m here to promote you.” “Promote me? For what?” Victor allowed himself the privilege of announcing to Marlena the good news, “Marlena… we’ve chosen you to represent Titan in the running for Woman of the Century.” “The running? What?” “Well, you see… all the top agencies and businesses in the country are eligible for this honor. The honor of having one of their employee’s voted ‘Woman of the Century’.”
“But I’m not one of your employees,” Marlena stated matter of factly. “No, but in your case, board members are eligible.” “But I haven’t agreed to use my voice at the board yet either.” “I realize that, Marlena, but were hoping that this would convince you to do so.”
“Dr. Evans, if I may… do you realize what this could do for your career? You are already head of the psychiatric ward at University, plus you once had both a radio show and a column in Bella magazine. You’ve already reached thousands of people through your extraordinary work, now you can reach millions.”
“I’m a little unclear how me running for ‘Woman of the Year’ will help me reach millions of people.” “Dr. Evans, it’s simple. This will give you the opportunity to reach more people, possibly in need of help, uh.. through your public speaking engagements. You will have to make several personal appearances in order to win votes for the contest.”
They could both tell that Marlena was a little less than thrilled. “Marlena, please. Will you at least think about it? I understand if you choose not to, it is ultimately your decision, but… go home and talk it over with John and let me know what you decide. I’d like to have your answer by tomorrow.”
***
“Victor wants you to represent Titan in the ‘Woman of the Century’ contest! That’s great, Honey!” “So… you’re ok with this?” Marlena questioned. “Ok with it? Of course I’m ok with it. Why wouldn’t I be?” “Well, it will take some of my time away from you and the kids.” “Well, I’m sure that we can work something out. I don’t see any reason why you being out of the house a couple nights a week would pose any problem. Besides, this is a high honor for you. You should be proud.”
Marlena couldn’t help but notice his sweet smile shinning at her. It did make her proud and she was even more at ease with it knowing that John supported her. Plus it would be good for her to have a new project to work on. She always loved a challenge… and running for ‘Woman of the Century’ against many other contestants would definitely pose a challenge. But she knew that she could do it. Even if she didn’t win, she knew that it would allow her to reach many people and spread the word about University Hospital’s excellent psychiatric program.
“Ok, it’s decided, then. I’ll run for ‘Woman of the Century’.” John kissed his wife, “Congratulations, Doc.” “Don’t get excited this soon, I haven’t won, yet.” “Yeah, but you’ve already won in my eyes.” His sweet words put a smile on her face. “Thanks, JB,” she replied with a wink.
“Ah! I’ve got to call Victor!” she screamed as she was getting up from the couch where she and John had been sitting. He grabbed her arm before she could get to her feet and he pulled her back down on his lap. “Nuh-uh, you’re not going anywhere. We’ve got a nomination to celebrate,” he said as he placed his lips on hers.
“John, we can’t. The party tonight, remember? We need to go get ready.” “Oh yeah… that. We can be late,” and he contined on down her neck. “John… *groan* I need to call Victor and let him know that I’ve made a decision.” “You can tell him tonight.” “John…” “Oh all right. Let’s go get ready to go, but…” he paused and peered at her very seductively, “we will continue this later.” She stood up and before walking away, she smiled down at him and said, “Ooo, coming home with you is my favorite part of going out.”
And they went to get ready to go to the party.
Page 4 of 76Alice Horton’s backyard was filled with the aroma of barbecued pork which was becoming one of the many specialties of Mickey Horton and Shawn Brady. All the guests were arriving one by one as Maggie, Caroline, and Hope added the final touches to the baked beans, salads, bread, potato salad, desserts, etc and began carrying them out to the buffet table. Bo was in the backyard trying to put up the badminton net with his pop while Roman and Baby John looked on in amusement. “Pop! You can’t keep leaving me here holding this just to tend to your pork!”
Belle, Shawn, Chloe, Philip, and Mimi were in the swimming pool goofing around, and Mike, Carrie, and Laura were playing cards on one of the tables as Abe and Lexie arrived. Next was Sami and Brandon, followed closely by Austin, which made Sami a little uneasy. After all, her relationship with Brandon had just recently begun and she knew that it had to hurt Austin to see them so happy in love. Eric and Greta were next to arrive and they walked through the wooden gate holding hands, very much in love.
Victor and Kate accompanied by Lucas, Nicole, and Will were also guests at the party. Alice felt it important for Bo to have his father be there, and that also meant that his father’s family were invited, too. Especially since Lucas was indeed part of the Horton family. Maggie came walking out of the house with arms full of potato salad, “Well, looks like everyone’s here. We’re about to start!” Sami was standing near the buffet table, “Wait! Mom and John haven’t arrived yet. I wonder what is taking them so long?”
***
“John… we are going to be late!” “So what! They’ll save us some food, and if they don’t then that just means that I get to take my beautiful wife out later for diner,” he said as he nibbled on her ear as she was getting ready. “But, Honey, I really really want some of Mickey and Shawn’s famous barbecue,” she replied in a girl-like voice. “Oh alright.” He picked up her purse and walked over to the bedroom door, “Let’s go.” Marlena gave him that look of ‘if you’re lucky, you can have me later’, as she replied, “Besides, didn’t you say that we would celebrate later?” and she walked down the stairs to leave.
***
“Well, it’s about dang time you two showed up!” yelled Eric as he rushed to his mother’s side and gave her a big hug. “Oh my sweet boy. I love you!” “Geeze you’d think you two were still on your honeymoon the way you show up late for everything,” he teased. “Eric, life with your mother is an endless honeymoon,” John teased back. “Ah! I don’t think my son cares to hear about his mother’s sex life!” They all laughed. “Well, I hadn’t actually thought about it until you mentioned it, Mom. Thanks,” and Eric kissed his mother on the cheek and walked back over to were Greta was sitting under a shade tree.
Maggie welcomed her two friends to the event, “Marlena! John! You’re just in time. We’re almost ready to start!” John noticed how Bo was in need of some help with the badminton net as Bo was yelling for his friend, “Yo, John! Lend me a hand, will ya?” John turned to Marlena whom he had his arm around, “Only if my wife here doesn’t mind me tearing away from her for a minute.” “Just a minute,” she said with a smile and he kissed her gently on the lips before going to help Bo.
She had found her way over to the side of the pool where she had knelt down next to Belle who was sitting on the edge looking on as her friends appeared as though they were plotting espionage. “Hey, sweet girl.” “Hey, Mom!” “Why such the down face? You not having a good time?” “No, I am. It’s just…” Just then Marlena glanced up and noticed her friends playing and laughing without her. She particularly took notice to Shawn, who it seemed unknowingly had all of Belle’s attention. “Ah, I see. You still haven’t let on that you are interested in Shawn and he hasn’t made any moves in your direction either.” “Mom! Keep your voice down! I don’t want him to like me out of pity. I want him to come to me on his own.” “Belle,” she began, trying to reassure her daughter, “if I know Shawn like I think I do, he’s got his sights set on you as well. Believe me. If he is anything at all like his dad, he will act on them sooner than you think.”
Just then, Shawn appeared out of nowhere, grabbed Belle, and pulled her into the pool. Screams of joy filled the air. “Shawn Brady! You got my hair soaking wet! I’m gonna get you for this!” Shawn fought her off as he glanced at Marlena who was watching the two lovebirds playing. She knew that he was interested in her daughter and she couldn’t be more thrilled for her, as she totally approved of Shawn.
John had snuck up behind his wife as she was watching the splashing in the pool and he slid his arms around her waist. “Hey, Sweetheart. Miss me?” “You betcha I did.” She turned around and gave him a kiss. John was feeling a little brave and decided to pick her up in his arms and pretend to throw her in the pool. “John Black! You put me down right this minute if you know what’s good for you!” Laughing, he said, “Well now, doesn’t this feel familiar?” He was referring to their weekend activities at the Horton cabin when they went skinny-dipping in the lake. “John! There are children present. Don’t even think about it!” Noticing her orange t-shirt and seeing that it would be safe if she were to get wet, he thought to himself, ‘Maybe later,’ and then set her back down firmly on two feet.
***
Night had fallen on the Horton backyard and it found the gang hovered around the bonfire roasting marshmallows, laughing, and telling stories. Belle was playing with a stick in the fire when she had an idea, “Hey! Why don’t we tell ghost stories?” “Oooooo!” Shawn replied as he moved his fingers in Belle’s face in a creepy like way trying to scare her. “Would you stop it, you’re not funny,” she snapped back flirting with him. Maggie and Hope liked the idea and with their enthusiasm it brought Lexie and Abe and everyone else right on board. The vote was unanimous, Mickey would lead off with the first story. And so he began and he went on to tell the story of a mad man in the woods. As he reached the climax of the story, everyone was hanging on his every word, so he figured he end it with a bang. “And the man came running out of the woods and chased all the young girls!” he yelled and everyone screamed.
“Uncle Mickey, you really had me going there for a minute!” Belle admitted. “Oh, you know you believe that story about Old Man Myer back behind the old elementary school, Belle,” exclaimed Philip. “Yeah, who was it that wouldn’t go near those woods while at recess?” teased Shawn. All Belle could say for herself was, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
A few people had gotten up to refill their glasses and Lexie noticed that they were missing somebody. “Wonder what happened to John and Marlena?” “I don’t know,” a concerned Belle replied, “they didn’t say they were leaving.” “Maybe Old Man Myer got ’em!” teased Shawn.
***
Meanwhile, over behind some bushes near the pool, Marlena sat in John’s lap as he reclined in a big cushy lawn chair. Marlena broke their kiss, “Wonder what they’re all doing over there?” “Mmm,” he continued to kiss her neck, “I don’t know, and frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Marlena laughed, “You rat!” “Just you giving me your mouth is all I care about.” “Oh, well in that case, I guess you’ve got yourself a deal, partner,” and she started teasing him with tender kisses on the edge of his lips. “Oh, Doc, you’re such a tease.” “Who’s teasing?” she seductively asked. “Not me… partner,” John winked back at her.
“You know, I’ve always wanted to do this,” John commented. “Do what?” “Sneak away with you during a family gathering, and go make out behind some bushes.” When he talked like that it always made her smile with excitement… and giggle. “Well, here we are!” “Don’t make light of this, Marlena. I’m being serious here.” “What? What did I say? I took you seriously.” “I know, I know. It’s just that… that there were so many times we’d be at functions and we weren’t…” Marlena cut him off, “Together?” A sad expression came over John’s face, “Yeah. I just wanted to be with you so badly during all those years we were apart.” “We’re together now, John. And I’m not going anywhere.” “Thank you. It’s good to hear that.”
She could sense an unease with John. She’s been sensing it since that night at the cabin. “Honey… I get the feeling that there is something that you’re not telling me.” “There’s nothing, Doc. I guess I’m just a little shocked that I’m actually here in this moment. I just love you so much, Marlena.” “Oh, John, honey, I love you so much too. And if I have not been showing you my love enough lately, then I can definitely work on that.” Marlena began kissing John’s earlobe as he groaned quietly. “Maybe we should take this home with us, Doc.”
Just then, they heard the commotion on the other side of yard as Mickey had just finished his scary story. “What the…?” John sat up in one quick motion. “Oh, Honey, it’s nothing. They’re just all having a good time, that’s all,” Marlena tried to urge him to sit back and continue their make-out session, and as they began another exploration of each other’s mouths, Maggie appeared through the bushes catching them in the act.
“Ah-ha! There you two are!” Still lip-locked, Marlena’s eyes got big and they all began laughing. “Uh-oh, honey! I think we’re caught!” “Does this mean that we get sent to detention hall for separating from the group?” teased John.
Next they heard Belle screaming at Shawn to put her down as he was carrying her, heading straight for the pool. “Looks like our daughter could use some help,” Marlena said as she jumped up to try and save their daughter. But at the same time John had reached out to grab his wife’s arm to keep her from interfering, he slipped, causing her to stumble right into Shawn and Belle, and all three of them went tumbling into the pool.
Marlena popped up first soaking wet, “Shawn Douglas Brady! I’ll get you for this!” Shawn got a huge smile on his face as he tried to escape his former aunt’s death grip. “Ahh!,” he began yelling, “John! Help me, man! *blurb* You gonna let *blurb* them take me like this? *blurb*” John and the rest of the clan just laughed as Marlena, with the help of Belle, continuously dunked Shawn in the water. “Hey, Shawn! I’m not getting in that line of fire, no way, pal!” John joked, “I have to go home with her.”
Bo spoke up in his son’s defense, “Shawn, we understand you want to be a gentleman and let the ladies have their fun, but come on, man, have a little dignity.” And after Marlena and Belle finally let him go, Shawn admitted, “I was no gentleman… that was all them right there. Thanks for the help, John.” “Anytime, kiddo,” John replied as he reached down to help Marlena out of the water while admiring the view of her soaked body. But she was just getting started. “Oh no, you’re not getting away with being the only dry one in this family,” and she pulled him in head first. After a few moments of playfully dunking each other, John finally pulled Marlena into a very slow, passionate kiss that enlisted an applause from the bystanders of the night.
***
Brady and some friends had been out partying when they decided to take a stroll down by the Horton’s house. “Hey, Brady, what’s that?” one of his greaser friends asked when they heard the applause being given to John and Marlena. “How am I supposed to know? Does it look like they’re including me in their fun?” “Sor-ry,” his friend replied back. “Come on, gang. I’ve got an idea. Let’s have some fun of our own,” and Brady and his friends started making their way through the bushes trying to remain unseen.
***
Everyone was standing around the pool laughing at Shawn and Belle’s antics while over in the bushes, Brady and his friends prepared for a prank. Brady had the brilliant idea to scare everyone with a cherry bomb. He and his hoodlum friends always carried one or two around with them. He climbed up in a tree just high enough to partially see everyone’s heads. He could hear them all having a good time, especially his dad and Marlena who were kissing nearby the tree oblivious as to what was about to happen.
Brady wasn’t too concerned with where his bomb landed, so on his way back down the tree, he threw the lit explosive over his shoulder and began running for cover The cherry bomb landed a few feet away from John and Marlena and when the explosion occured, it startled both of them. John quickly pushed Marlena too the ground, shielding her fall with one arm as he covered her head with the other.
Bo and Roman were the first to arrive by their sides. “Marlena are you alright?” “John! What happened?” Eric and Austin jumped through the bushes to try and see where the bomb might have come from, but they were too late. Brady and his pals had already found their temporary hiding places and were not about to be caught.
After a split second, John realized that he was still alive, and he quickly turned his concern to Marlena. “Doc! Doc, Honey, are you ok?” He began unwrapping his arms from his wife’s body so that he may help her up to her feet. “Yeah, I’m fine. What happened?” “I’m not sure. I heard an explosion, grabbed you, and took cover. Bo?” “I dunno, man. It seems that a cherry bomb was thrown over the fence and it exploded right by you guys. Eric and Austin took off through the bushes, maybe they found something.”
Just then, the two guys came walking back through the gate with news of finding no clues as to who was responsible for the bomb. “No one wants to claim that stunt,” remarked Austin. “Yeah, sorry, John. We found nothing. But I imagine that whoever did this, pulled this prank, they knew what they were doing,” replied Eric. He was already showing signs of having his father’s cop instincts. Even Roman noticed it, “Good thinking, son. John… do you know who might have wanted to pull a stunt like this?” “Well, it is just a hunch, but I have a feeling that if that explosion was meant to land near Doc and me, I know who is responsible.”
Bo asked the question that everyone was eager to know, “Well, who?” “Uh… I would rather not say just yet. I think I need to take care of this one alone.” “Alright, man, but if you need any help, you know where to find me.” John then turned his attention to Marlena, “Sweetheart… you ready to go?” “Um, yeah. Belle, get your things, honey.” Shawn and Belle had been standing together during all of the commotion, “Um, Dr. Evans… Mr. Black, if it is alright with you, I’d be glad to walk Belle home later, er, if that is ok with her of course.” Smiling at Shawn’s sweet tatics, she replied, “Sure, it’s fine with me. Mom? Please? We won’t be late, I promise. And besides, we’ll all be together.” Smiling at her daughter’s persistance at trying to ease her mother’s mind, “It’s fine, honey. Just not too late, k?” and she gave her daughter a hug and a kiss.
“Um… better yet,” Mimi began, “why don’t you and Chloe spend the night at my new house? We still need to break it in for all the future slumber parties we’re gonna have!” “Hey, yeah! Mom? Is that ok with you?” “Only if Mimi is sure that her parents do not mind.” “It’s no problem, Dr. Evans. My mom’s been telling me all weekend to get all the girls over soon.” Marlena agreed, “Ok, but don’t forget… tomorrow’s a school day.” Belle and her mom hugged goodnight.
Everyone said their goodbyes as John and Marlena made their way to their black Cherokee. Roman had walked up to John’s window and leaned in, “Listen, uh… I didn’t want to say anything in front of the others, but I realize that you’re thinking that Brady was behind that fiasco back there. So if there is anything that I can do to help, please let me know. If you want me to shake him up a little for ya, ya know, scare him a little, just give me a call.” “Thanks, Roman, but I’m hoping that I’ll be able to put some fear into him myself, tonight when he gets home.”
Page 5 of 76The room was dim with light as they were getting ready for bed. John was sitting indian style on their bed in deep thought as he watched Marlena go back and forth between the bathroom and her vanity table. He paid special attention to how her silk black nightgown flowed in the wind behind her. She finally sat down and began brushing her long blonde hair. She had agreed to let her hair grow out a little bit, per John’s request. He convinced her that he really liked the way she used to have it back in the early nineties. Maybe it was because she wasn’t his back then and this helped make up for it, so she agreed to grow it slightly longer than she had recently kept it.
She noticed his reflection in the mirror and could see that he was deep in his thoughts. “Thinking about Brady, aren’t you?” Snapping out of it, “Yeah, Doc. I’m just so damn worried about the kid.” “So you’re convinced that he was behind the cherry bomb?” “Yes, I am. And even if he is my son, so help me, if you had been hurt, I might have killed him.” Marlena didn’t like the sound of that. It reminded her too much of how he talked when he had flashbacks of being Stefano’s mercenary man.
She got up from her vanity and circled around to her side of the bed. Crawling up on her knees to sit beside John, she put her hand on his shoulder and began gently rubbing it. “Ooh, you’re tense.” “Hmph,” was all the response she could get out of him. “Worrying is not gonna do you any good. It’ll just drive you crazy. Besides, if you’re waiting up for him, you might as well give it up. He hasn’t been home before three a.m. since he’s been home from college.”
“I know, Doc, but how can I not worry about my boy? I mean, he’s my own flesh and blood and he might be out there causing trouble for someone else. The thought of that is killing me. You understand that, don’t you?” “Of course I do. He may not be of my blood, but he is definitely my son. I love Brady, you know that. And, yes, I am worried about him and what he may be into, but until we know something for sure, we can’t do this to ourselves.”
Marlena was right. She had always been the more sensible parent of the two. Where John would want to act on impulse, Marlena believed in keeping a cool head and dealing with a situation objectively. Right now, though, she was more concerned with her husband. “Honey, why don’t you lie down and let me give you a nice massage.” John was hesitant to let himself relax, “I don’t know, Doc. I mean, I’m just so anxious to talk to him.” “Listen, you won’t be abusing the situation just because you let me take your mind off of it for a while. Come on, it’ll be good for you.”
John turned to face her and smiled. He knew she was only trying to help, and she always did know how to get him relaxed. Just then he remembered something from their earlier conversation, “Ahhh… you know what I almost forgot about?” “What?” “Finishing where we left off earlier on the couch,” he said to her with a seductive grin. “John… you were just telling me how anxious you are to talk to Brady and how upset he’s made you, and now all of a sudden, you want to… fool around?”
“What? You don’t wanna? Ok,” he said teasingly. “John… you know I love fooling around with you, that’s not the point…” and before she could say another word, he kissed her. He kissed her really desperately and intensely. All of the events of late were beginning to get to him and he wondered just how much it showed in how desperate he was to hold on to her. If it was beginning to be too obvious, he didn’t care anymore, and she paid no attention this time.
“Doc, you know I don’t ask much from you… only that you love me with all your heart, but… I really need you right now. And I need you to be here for me through whatever may come of this mess with Brady. I need to know that… that I’ll have your love forever.” “John, you know you’ve got that. I’m not going anywhere. Baby, I’ve loved you for far too long and we’ve fought far too hard to be together to let anything ruin it now. And with all that we’ve been through, there is nothing or no one who could pull us apart. We’re so beyond that.”
She made him smile a little bit as her words seemed to temporarily ease his pain. “Doc, you can make me feel better anytime, you know that?” She smiled and ran her hand through his dark hair. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She had this effect on him that he has never been able to shake, not that he would want to.
Her hand continued its journey down his face, gently caressing his skin, relaxing him. He felt this pang begin to hit him in his gut. It was a feeling of wanting her, no needing her. He needed to feel her touch again, to feel her bare skin next to his. The desperation of loosing her had begun to eat away at his insides. He needed to have her, even just for a moment, as if it were a temporary escape from his disgusting reality that he had unwillingly built. He couldn’t get enough of her. She was like a drug, and he was addicted to her being so close to him. For he felt that if they were making love, nothing could go wrong, that she wouldn’t leave him.
He couldn’t stand it any longer. He had to have her. He reached out to her and touched her face and then allowed his hand to slide down her neck. She instantly responded to his touch. His nostrils flared at the sight of her neck cocked back and her veins peeking out from behind her skin. He knew that this meant there was only one thing on her mind; she wanted him, too.
He admired how sexy she looked in her black silk nightgown and robe, and how even sexier she would be without it. All he wanted to see was her creamy skin as it released tiny beads of sweat all over her body as he made love to her. He wanted to see her make love back to him. But he wasn’t about to rush this moment, no he was going to prolong it for eternity if he could.
He filled his hand with her hair as he gently tilted her head back more so that he could get a good mouthful of her neck. His lips on the nape of her neck demanded a groan from her, and she did not disappoint.
Next he slid the strap to her gown down her arm and placed his hot lips on her shoulder and began creating tiny circles on her skin with his tongue. Her desire for him grew with every passing heartbeat.
A pang grew inside her that demanded she have him. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of her husband worshiping her body, for she, too, did not want to rush this beautiful moment.
He had made his way back up to her ear when he spoke, “Doc,” he began while looking deep into her eyes and to her soul, “I never knew that I could love someone as much as I love you. I never even knew that finding my true love was possible… and I’ve not only found my true love, I’ve found my soul mate.” “Oh, Honey,” she said as she began to tear up at his sincerity. His voice got softer, “I love you so much.” “I love you so much,” she replied. He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her finger that bore the ring he had recently given her.
“Do you know how you make me feel at moments like this?” She replied softly to his rhetorical question, “How?” “You make me feel as though nothing could ever go wrong in the world, Marlena.” She gently rubbed his leg as he continued, “You make me feel like I could conquer anything with you by my side. Make love to me, Doc. I need to feel you. I want to be consumed by you tonight… every night.”
They were oblivious to the world that was happening outside of their bedroom. They consumed each other’s thoughts and bodies. It was moments like this that made John and Marlena who they were, for very few lovers ever experienced the deep emotional connection that Marlena felt with John, and that John felt with Marlena.
Marlena couldn’t resist him any longer. She slowly and seductively removed her robe and gave the ok for him to remove her nightgown. As he placed his hands on the thin straps and slid them down her arms, he stated, “I’ve always loved you in black silk… I’m so glad we got this for you.” A sly smile crossed her lips, “I’m glad you like it… wait ’til you see what’s underneath.” John swallowed hard.
He removed her gown and placed his lips upon her breasts as she dug her nails into the back of his head. Her neck tilted back in sexual passion as she groaned at his touch. He laid her back on the pillows as he continued his journey down her abdomen to her inner thigh. She arched her back in ecstasy as his mouth gently sucked on the inner part of her leg.
He paused, “I want to taste you.” She nodded with agreement and as he buried his tongue between her legs and grabbed her by the hips. Her back arched more. She moaned more. He enjoyed seeing her loose herself while he performed such an act, and with each of hers came a moan from him. Marlena had to change things up a bit before she couldn’t control herself any longer, “Honey, you’ve gotten me so turned on… I… it’s my turn,” and she sat up facing him.
Marlena pulled the covers back that were hiding his lower half to reveal a very aroused part of his anatomy. One eyebrow cocked before lowering her head down between his legs. As her mouth wrapped around him, he let out a deep sigh and gently placed his hand on top of her head as if to guide her. Her slow up and down motion received many throaty moans. He, too, wasn’t ready for their romantic time to end, so he lifted her chin with his hand and reached down to kiss her.
They parted to give themselves space to look deep into each other’s eyes. John raised one of his hands as Marlena did the same. Their hands joined together as their fingers intertwined, wrapping together as a bolt of passion passed from John’s fingertips to Marlena’s and back again.
He moved in for a deeper kiss and she began lowering herself onto the bed. John found himself propped over her by his arms as they continued to kiss. She could feel his hot skin as it draped over her legs and lower body. His hot flesh made her want him even more.
“I want you,” Marlena breathlessly muffled, “John… I want us to make love.” “Oh, Doc,” John’s voice was filled with desperation to hold on to her, “that’s the best idea I’ve heard all day.” She helped guide him into her as they both groaned with excitement as if making love for the first time. Their passion was overwhelming, but their lovemaking was not rushed. Every stroke of love seemed as if to last for an eternity.
John needed her so badly, more than he had ever needed her. His life was about to be flipped upside down and all he ever really wanted was to be with Marlena. Now that he was living his dream, he was about to destroy it. He could not conceivably see a happy ending in sight; for when he tells Marlena the truth about the dreaded secret he has been keeping, their lives will forever be changed. It was understandable for him to want this night to continue forever.
Page 6 of 76Marlena turned the key to her penthouse and walked in. Instinctively she was about to call out his name when she saw John was standing out on the balcony. The french doors where open and a soft, cool late-summer breeze filled the penthouse air. He seemed as though he was down about something, so she figured she’d cheer him up. She quietly walked up behind him and slid her arms around his waist and propped her head up on his shoulder. “Hey, Sailor. Thinking about me?” she playfully asked. He breathed a deep breathe and then let out an anxious sigh. She instantly felt that something was wrong.
“John? Honey what’s wrong?” John tried to muster a smile as she gently rubbed the back of her hand down his face, but he could not. Now, she really knew this was for real. “John… you’re scaring me, baby. Come on, let’s go back inside,” she said as she tried to nudge him to walk inside. He held back for a brief moment long enough to say, “Doc… we need to talk.” And with that said, she felt a large lump in her throat, for something was telling her she wasn’t going to like what she was about to hear.
John guided Marlena to the couch as they sat together. “John, this sounds really important. Would you rather go upstairs where it’s more private?” “Um, no, actually… that won’t be necessary. Belle has a volunteer shift at the hospital and Brady is staying with a friend tonight. Since you’re home early, we’ve got plenty of time to…” John paused and Marlena asked, “Plenty of time for what, John?” “Um… nothing, well, it’s just that um. Well we’ve got plenty of private time, that’s all.”
Marlena could tell that he was awfully nervous about something, but she didn’t want to rush him. She didn’t want to rush him for another reason as well. She was scared to death of what he was about to tell her and any moment she would find out if her fears were justified. “Doc,” he began, “there’s really no other way to tell you this, other than to just tell you. There is no way of preparing you for what you are about to hear.” And after a brief pause, he added, “And I want you to know that I am sincerely sorry. And after the night we had last night… the way we made love… oh, God, Doc, I’m so very sorry.”
With that said, the knot in her throat grew. “John, is this about… have you been having memories?” Her question caught him off guard, “Uhh… yeah, uh…” John had his answer. Before, he was unsure of where to start, but now he knew. “Right… the memories. I’ll start from the beginning, from when I first started remembering.” “I started ha… it was New Year’s Eve when I started having these weird flashes. At first I wasn’t sure that they were real, but now I’m afraid that they are.” “John… what kind of memories? Memories of what you did while under Stefano’s control?”
Knowing that this was not going to get any easier, he continued on, “Uh, yes… and no. I do remember something about what I did, but I’m not real clear on it. But that’s not it. It’s um… something else, Doc.” “Well,” she put her hand on his, “I’m listening, sweetheart.” Hearing her call him that made his eyes fill with tears. He wasn’t going to be able to hide how upset he was, or prolong telling her any further. Seeing the pain in his eyes, she called out to him, “John… oh, baby please talk to me.” He was at his breaking point. “Oh, God, Doc, I never meant to hurt you,” he sobbed. He put his head in his hands and began to cry. She knelt next to him trying to comfort him, unaware that her own heart was about to break.
“Doc,” he continued with an eerily calm tone, “I remember what happened to me on our honeymoon.” Marlena gasped at what was just said. “John, do you want to tell me about it?” “I was with Gina.” “What? How?” a confused Marlena listened intensely. “Remember the drowning girl that I swam out to save?” Marlena nodded. “Well, that was Gina. She set the whole thing up. I remember being caught in some type of fish net and being shot with a tranquilizer gun. The next thing I remember is waking up on a submarine.” Another gasp from Marlena escaped, “A submar… that’s why you got so upset that day on the deserted island. I mentioned us being rescued by a submarine and you flew off the handle.” “Yeah, well, it brought back some bad memories, Doc. I’m sorry.” “So, you’ve known about this all along?”
John knew he was in for it now. He knew that more than anything, she would be upset that he has kept this from her for so long. “But I had good reason, Doc,” he thought to himself before continuing, “Sort of, Doc. I knew that I was having memories, but I wasn’t sure if they were real or not. They were so far fetched, that they just had to be implanted there by Stefano.” “So were they?” “After some time of investigating, Doc, I’m afraid to say that they are indeed real. Too real.” “You’ve been to see Stefano, haven’t you?” “Yes.” “You told me that you went to see him because you were concerned for Hope’s baby. Was that a lie?” “No, Doc. I was there for that reason, too.” “I’m sorry, John, I’m having a little trouble following here.”
“Doc, I’m sorry, it’s just not that easy to come right out and tell you… the memories, they’re so… I remembered waking up on the sub and feeling different.” “Different, how?” “Different like I wasn’t myself, different. I mean, I was me, but I only had my memories from 1985 and before.” “What do you think happened?” “Well, that’s why I was so concerned that these flashes weren’t real. When I came to, it was apparently, in my mind at least, still 1985. And… I realize now that… I was involved with Gina. And involved in whatever it was that she was doing for Stefano.” “Involved how?”
John knew that there was no way out now. He started it and came this far, he had to finish. He had to tell her the truth. “Doc, it’s true… apparently Gina and I were lovers at one time.” “*Gasp*, I’ve always been afraid of that.” John knelt closer to her and placed his hands on hers. “Doc, oh God, I’m so sorry,” he sobbed. “Sorry for what, John? So what if you remembered what you and Gina did for Stefano. It was in the past. That’s not going to change anything for us, you know that,” she tried calming him, but it wasn’t making it any easier for him. In fact, hearing her wonderful soothing voice made it even harder to tell her the truth.
“Doc, honey… it’s not what happened in the past that may change things. It’s what has happened more recently.” With that remark, Marlena got a little scared. She was so unsure of what he was about to tell her. “How more recently?” “Something happened to me on our honeymoon, Doc. I think Gina must have trans… do you remember when we were sitting in the church during Bo and Ho… I mean, Bo and Gina’s wedding? And I thought that something had bit the back of my neck?” “Yes, I remember! You were mugged out in the middle of nowhere and you had a gash in your neck!” “Right… well, I think that some type of device, a chip if you will, fell out of that gash in my neck during their wedding. And if that is true, I can only assume that Stefano was behind that mugging.”
“What does that have to do with our honeymoon?” “If it was indeed some type of chip, I can only assume that it was put there so that Stefano could control me. I have reason to believe that Gina somehow found out about it and got ahold of the device that could transform me back into The Pawn.” A doubtful Marlena asked, “Do you think that’s what she did?” “Well, I think so. Because obviously she knew me during that time. Right before I showed up in Salem with Roman’s memories, apparently Gina and I were lovers trying to escape Stefano. And the strange thing is… is that he didn’t know about us. We were intentionally keeping it from him.”
“Ok, let me get this straight… Gina.. found a device that could turn you back into the Pawn… so that you and her could be together and try to escape Stefano. She made you believe that it was 1985 so that she could have you. What about that is so devastatingly awful?” “Doc, Gina was so thrilled to have her lover back. She tried to seduce me.” Marlena gasped and with a look of complete horror, she asked, “Did she?”
The silence was deafening. The cool late-summer breeze that had filled the room had just turned ice cold. Marlena felt the blood in her veins slow, her head began to pound with fear of what was to come. John had to answer her question and the longer he took to do so, led her to believe only the worst. “Yes.” All he could say was ‘yes’. He hadn’t the strength to throw in any kind of explanation at this point. He figured it best that way anyway… to let her do all the question asking from this moment on. He feared what her reaction would be.
Marlena felt her heart hit the floor. Her blood seemed to stop flowing. Her head almost pounded so hard she thought it would explode. Her whole body went numb from what her ears had just allowed her to witness. And as quick as it happened, it was gone and she was back in reality again. She quickly stood up from her place on the couch, leaving John sitting on the floor alone. She walked over to the piano and propped both hands on the top of it letting her head hang down, trying to let everything soak in. A moment later, John heard the pounding of piano keys where Marlena had slammed her hand down and then turned to face the outside world that the french doors were leading to.
John’s heart broke for her. He couldn’t believe that it had come to this. And he still didn’t know what her reaction was going to be. Would she forgive him for what had innocently happened to him, or would he loose her forever? He would soon have his answer as Marlena quickly turned around and angrily remarked, “Oh my God. Do you know what this means? You had sex with Hope, on our honeymoon. That’s right… because that was still Hope who possessed Gina’s memories. It wasn’t until later after Hope went to Europe that the real Princess Gina came back in her place.” “I know, Doc.” “Hooow… could you?” a very hurtful Marlena asked.
John knew that he had to tell her the rest of the story. He had to let her know that he was the father of Hope’s baby. Hesitantly John continued, “Doc… there’s more.” “More?” an angry Marlena asked. “There’s more to the story of your sordid love affair on a submarine with Hope on our honeymoon? Yes, please, John, fill me in. Oh and be sure to add where Stefano falls into all this mess. This is way too good for him to not be involved.”
Her words were ripping into John’s heart. He wanted to comfort her and tell her that everything would be all right, but he knew it was only about to get worse. And he had to tell her before she figured it out on her own. “Stefano was there. He actually showed up later. In fact, you can thank him for my return. He was the one who transformed me back into the man that I really am and threw me overboard so that I could float back up to shore. So that I could return to you.” “Remind me later to send him a ‘thank you’ card,” Marlena sarcastically remarked.
“Like I said before, he had no idea of mine and Gina’s relationship. It’s safe to say that he was pretty pissed when he found out that his two best operatives were sneaking around behind his back. He contemplated killing me right then and there, but he decided against it. He figured he had too much to loose since becoming this ‘upstanding citizen’ that everyone has grown to love. So he threw me overboard and went after Gina instead. I wasn’t there to see what happened, but Stefano has recently filled me in on the situation.”
Marlena was letting him continue on without her interrupting. She felt that she might as well get the whole story. “He later revealed to me that in order for her to save her own life, because Stefano was pretty angry, she seduced him as well.” “You mean… Hope was indeed intimate with Stefano?” “Fraid so, Doc.” “Oh my God. That’s going to devastate her when she finds out.” “Doc, I…” Marlena cut him off, “John does…” she couldn’t say it.
Thoughts of her husband and Hope being together were whirling around in her mind. She started having flashes of what had been said about Hope’s pregnancy… about how the conception of the child had to have taken place around the time of her and John’s wedding. She started putting two and two together and begun to think the worst. “John… could that baby of Hope’s be yours?” She stuttered over her words, as she could barely get them out in a coherent sentence.
All John could do was drop his head into his hands and cry. He sat there on the floor sobbing over the fact that he had fathered another woman’s child and was dealing with telling his wife. But she was not just his wife. This was Marlena he was hurting. His silence was enough for her. She instantly burst into tears of sadness. In an instant, she felt her world slip away.
She begun to cry harder and had to sit down. Ironically, she sat next to John. Who knows, maybe it was instinct to do so because she wouldn’t have chosen it that way. It had always been John whom she turned to for comfort. But how could she get comfort from the one person who she thought could never hurt her? As naturally as her sitting down next to him, he gave her that comfort. He hugged her while she cried harder and harder. No words needed to be spoken at this moment. The realization of what had happened was all that was needed. It was strong enough without any words.
After a few minutes of them both crying, Marlena began to try and compose herself. Her eyes looked awful… more so because they were filled with pain and sadness than tears. John spoke first, “Doc, I’m soo sorry. If I had had any idea of what was happening, you know I would have not let it happen. And as much as I believe that this is all Stefano’s fault, I am taking the full blame here, Doc. I committed the crime, I’ll suffer the consequences.”
Stefano’s name being said caught her attention. “No. No, John, Stefano is not the culprit here.” That confused John. She continued, “Ya know… I always believed that our love could conquer anything, but I never believed that it would be faced with conquering an outside love interest. No one could ever come between us like that again… not since we’ve admitted to each other our love for one another.” “Doc, there’s no outside love interest here. I’m not in love with Gina and quite frankly, I don’t even have the memories of those feelings.” “John, you were in love with her at one time and look at where it has led you. How could you? How could you make love to another woman on our honeymoon?”
She continued, “Do you remember how scared I was of what you were going through back when you became… became like that mercenary man again?” “You mean, back when I saved everyone from the plane and got us safely off that island?” “John, you kept having these spells… you would go into some kind of ‘Rambo’ mode. When that happened, I wasn’t necessarily scared of you, but… I feared that you would loose yourself so much during those episodes that your love for me would be lost. And that scared me.” She paused for a moment before continuing, “But, John, deep down I truly believed with my whole heart that if that did happen… if it did one day take control again, that you would somehow feel our love… even though you would have no memories of me since we didn’t meet until well after Christmas of ’85. I just always believed that our love would still be present in your subconscious no matter who it was that you thought you were. I have a hard time believing that a love like you and I share could be so easily disposed of.”
“Doc, I’m not trying to make excuses here, God knows that I screwed up and that I will suffer with the guilt of what I did to us for the rest of my life, but it wasn’t like that. I mean, I could have very well remembered you… had a sense of our love, but… it all happened so fast. By the time I woke up on that sub, Gina practically had me in her bed from the get-go. Because everything happened so fast, I had no adjustment period. I can only assume that I accepted it and went on. I always had a sense that I would still feel you, too, or at least feel that something was missing, but I guess it just didn’t happen this time.” Marlena could sense that John was indeed really hurting over this, but it didn’t help any. “I’m so sorry, Doc. I don’t know what else to say.”
“Do Bo and Hope know about this? That the baby could be yours?” “No, they have no idea. And, Doc, as far as I know, the baby is mine.” This brought forth another gasp from Marlena. The shock was hitting her like a brick in the head. As every few minutes rolled by, she got more bad news… got deeper and deeper into this mess. She wasn’t sure if there was a way out. Right now, all she could see was darkness and sadness. “Doc, I was actually hoping that you would be there when I told them. Whether you’re there for my support, or not, at least be there to make sure Bo doesn’t beat the shit out of me. I understand if you don’t want to, but I would really appreciate it. I know you don’t owe it to me, and I’m sure Hope would like you being there, too.”
Marlena felt bad for John even though her feelings were unclear about where her life went from here. She figured that she should be there when John told Bo and Hope of his memories. He was right, if anything, Hope may need her support, too. It was going to be tough news for them to take. They’ve all been so close for so long. Heck, Marlena has been there through most of Bo and Hope’s growing up, and now she would soon witness their downfall. She felt partly responsible.
Then again, she knew good and well that there was nothing that she could have done differently. How could she have known that Gina’s persona would take over Hope’s mind and body and torment the lives of Salem? Marlena was just as much of a victim as anyone. And she felt that John was to blame, not Stefano. How could he do this to her? They had been through so much together and come so far in the past three years to have this happen. It made her sick to her stomach. And she couldn’t help but question whether or not she could ever have a ‘normal’ life.
“Doc? Would you consider being there when I tell Bo and Hope?” John’s question startled her back into reality, “Uh… yes. I will be there. I feel somewhat of a responsibility to do so.” “Thank you. I really do appreciate it.” “Tell me, when are you planning on telling them?” “I don’t know. I guess the first chance I get. Maybe tonight.” Marlena nodded in agreement. “I don’t think you should keep this from them any longer.” “I know. And I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”
That sparked more anger inside of Marlena. “Why didn’t you tell me, John? I could have helped you through all of those memories. And the headaches! What about all of those headaches you kept having?” “Doc, I told you. I wasn’t sure they were real or not.” “John… you were having flashes of having sex with another woman. Don’t you think your wife would have liked to have known about it?”
John couldn’t answer, he didn’t know how to, and it was just as well for him to not answer that question. Marlena couldn’t take it anymore. She jumped up from her seat and practically ran out on the balcony. The anger was growing inside of her more and more. John followed her out there and as he reached out to touch her shoulder, she backed away from him. His heart sank. The last time he remembered her backing away from him was during their affair. She hadn’t done it since. He could see that her eyes were so filled with pain. She started to look a little pale. “Doc, are you all right? You look a little pale, maybe you should sit back down,” he said as he reached for her yet again. This time she snapped at him, “Don’t touch me, and don’t tell me what I need to do…. I need a drink.”
John’s eyebrows raised at what he had just heard. Marlena has never turned to alcohol to soothe her nerves before. “Damn, I’ve really done it now,” was all he could think. She went to the kitchen and started opening cabinet after cabinet looking for the alcohol stash that John had always saved for special occasions. She never really knew where it was since she had never been a big drinker. Hell, one glass of champagne would almost do her in. “Damnit, John, where do you keep it?” He startled her when he answered her question, “It’s in the cabinet above the fridge,” he said as he slowly shut the cabinet doors that Marlena had left open. “Naturally… that’s a good place for it, but of course it would be the last place I would look,” she remarked sarcastically.
She grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels and poured her a shot. One glance at the liquor and down it went. John’s eyes grew even wider at what he was witnessing. “Doc, do you really think that you should be doing this? I usually have to carry you to bed after two glasses.” She shot him a eat-shit-and-die look and smarted back, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” as she walked back into the living room.
She could tell that he had followed her and felt that she should let him have it, and with liquor bottle and shot glass still in hand, she did, “I know how he must have felt, John.” “Who?” “Roman. I know now what I put him through… to have the trust and faith destroyed that he had put into me and our love. I know how he must have felt to have his wife betray him. Thank you, John, you’ve probably just made me the laughing stock of Salem.” Her words were becoming harsher by the minute. “Doc, what? How are you the laughing stock of Salem?” “Because, John… I’ve just had done to me what I once did to my husband. What’s everybody gonna think when they hear what has happened? I’m sure some will say ‘what goes around, comes around’, or ‘she got what she deserved’.” “Oh, honey, you know better than that…” he tried to calm her, but she backed away from him yet again.
She walked over to the piano and sat down on the bench. She sat the shot glass on top and filled it yet again with Jack. After she put down the liquor bottle, she downed another shot. John was watching her every move wondering what she would do next. She started to play; not her usual Mozart favorites, but something much more somber: “Fur Elise” by Beethoven. John knew he had to do something to snap her out of this before it got worse. He walked up behind her where she couldn’t back away as easily, and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Honey. Please believe me when I say this… I love you, Doc. I have always loved you and I always will. Please understand that that has not changed.”
She knelt her head down and rolled her neck until it popped. She had this uneasy calmness about her, possibly from the alcohol. And then again, that is what she intended it to do. She was afraid that she would either get too upset or too angry, so she needed something that would calm her nerves. After she popped her neck one good time, she slammed back another shot of Jack and then returned it to the kitchen. When she came out of the kitchen, John grabbed her before she could get away. “Doc. You’ve got to talk to me. Please tell me what you’re feeling. I’m a little unsure because you’ve never been able to take three shots of alcohol and still be calm… Baby, you’re scaring me. Please talk to me.”
And in a school girl like voice, she looked up at him and asked, “How am I supposed to feel? You’ve just told me that you’ve cheated on me. Ya know… my first husband did that to me, and then we did it to Roman. And now you’ve done it to me. I’m beginning to think that I’ll never be in a relationship where there is not a third person involved.” “Come on, that’s not true. And Doc, I still love you. Unlike the times that it has happened before, I have no feelings for the other person.” Marlena sharply asked, “What? You don’t have feelings for the mother of your child?” “That’s unfair.” “It’s incredibly unfair,” she agreed, “but that is what usually happens.” “Doc, nothing is going to make me stop loving you. And nothing will make me fall in love with Hope, just because with the little help of brainwashing, we created a child.” “Yeah, well it doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
“And it won’t make it hurt any less when I wake up in the morning and realize that this was not a dream. Tomorrow is a new day and I’ll go on living my life, go off to work, knowing that my husband has cheated on me. I’m not sure how I feel right now, John. I am hurt and disappointed and sad and angry, but at the same time, I feel like you were a victim, too. I do still feel love in my heart for you, but…” “But what, Doc?” “But… I’m not sure where I go from here.”
Her last statement scared John. He could only assume that she meant that she may not stay with him after this. “I need to keep a clear head so that I do not make any rash decisions.” “What are you saying, Doc?” “John… I’m saying that I’m leaving.” “What?” Marlena began to cry at the sight of tears filling John’s eyes and in desperation she said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t stay here with you, not like this. I’ve got to go somewhere that I can sort out and soak in what has happened. I’m going to pack a few things and I’ll be at the Salem Inn.”
Marlena slowly climbed the stairs while John sat down at the foot of the staircase and cried.
Page 7 of 76After a few moments of crying, John climbed the stairs headed toward their bedroom in hopes to talk Marlena out of leaving. He noticed that she had already packed a suitcase, and was gathering her purse when he walked into their room. Was he too late? Had the damage already been done? She grabbed the suitcase and slid it off the bed as she turned toward the door. She practically bumped into John as he was walking up behind her. With his hands on her shoulders as if to try and stop her, he said, “Doc… please don’t do this. I need you here. We all need you here.”
Being as sad as she was, she didn’t have the strength or the will to fight with him. She just wanted out. She needed to go somewhere so that she could clear her head. “John… just let me go. I don’t want to discuss this anymore in fear of what I might be forced to do. Before I make any rash decisions, I want to clear my head.”
John knew she was serious and that she was not about to change her mind, or listen to reason. There was no reasoning for what happened. She didn’t need an explanation. Even though John was somewhat of a victim, too, she still felt betrayed. She didn’t want her pride to totally take over, like Roman’s did, but she didn’t want to totally ignore it, either. John was concerned for her, and he tried to offer some type of comfort, “Why don’t you go stay at the loft. I know we had discussed saving it for Brady or Belle, but it’s gonna be a while before either of them use it. It’s fully furnished again.”
She was thinking about what he was saying as he continued, “You’ll probably be more comfortable there… in a familiar place,” and as he looked at her suitcase, he concluded, “because from the looks of it, you’re going to be gone a while.” Marlena nodded in agreement. She really didn’t want the rumors of her being in a hotel room to start spreading. She felt that might get more negative attention than her actually being at a ‘home’. “Ok. That’s fine,” and she started for the door.
John stopped her when he asked, “What about Bo and Hope? Do you want to go tonight?” Realizing that it wasn’t going to get any easier, they might as well get it over with. “Yes… Hope needs to know.” “That is… as long as you’re feeling up to it,” he joked. “I do,” she chuckled slightly, “that is the first time in my life three shots of alcohol hasn’t affected me.” She paused briefly as she thought of the circumstances, “Why don’t we drive separately over there, and then I’ll head on over to the loft when we leave.” “Are you sure you want to do that?” “Yes, I think it would be better that way.” John’s protective nature began to shine through, “At least let me follow you so that I can check the place out before you settle in.” Marlena nodded in agreement.
***
John had followed Marlena as he always did when they drove separately. It was so natural to him to want to always protect her. And deep down inside, it still meant something to her. Marlena pulled into Bo’s driveway as John parked on the street in front of their house. He was already out of his Cherokee and opening the door to her Lexus before she even realized it. She hesitantly got out of the car as they both looked on toward the house. For comfort, whether for his or her own, she couldn’t tell, but she quickly put her hand in his and squeezed tightly as they walked toward the front door.
Hope had the door wide open before John could even knock. “John! Marlena! Hi! What a pleasant surprise!” Marlena spoke up first, “Uh, Hope… we apologize for not calling, but…” Hope interrupted her before she could finish, “What? No, you don’t need to call before coming by, you know that.” Then John asked, “Is Bo at home, too?” “Yeah, he’s out in the backyard. You two come on in and make yourselves at home and I’ll go tell him you’re here.” With that, Hope left the room. John and Marlena walked into their living room and just stood there. They were both too nervous to try and relax and what they were about to discuss with Bo and Hope was far too serious to make it look as if they were comfortable.
Hope came skipping back into the living room with Bo following. “Hey, John, Marlena,” he said as he shook John’s hand and kissed Marlena on the cheek in that brother-in-law way that he was accustomed to. “To what do we owe the honor?” “Well,” John hesitated, “we have some news for the both of you.” “Uh-oh, this doesn’t sound good,” Hope chimed in. John continued, “It’s not good. And I hate to be the one who has to tell you this.” Marlena slid her hand into John’s again to let him know that she was there for him as he went on, “I hope that we’re not interrupting anything, but this is too important to wait.” Bo replied back, “Oh, no, no, it’s ok. Besides, if it is important as you say it is, we don’t want to wait.” “Can I get you two something to drink before we begin?” Hope asked. Marlena replied, “No, thank you, I’m fine.” And John agreed.
They all took their places, Bo next to Hope on the larger couch, and Marlena next to John on the loveseat. John appreciated the fact that Marlena was there for him, but he knew that this was something that he would need to do on his own. He wasn’t about to make her help him with delivering the bad news, even though he really didn’t know where to begin. Before he could, though, Hope was suspicious of why they had drove separately, “Marlena… why are you two in separate cars? Has something happened?” Marlena tried to swallow the lump that was still in her throat from earlier, “Yes, Hope, it has… That’s why we’re here.” “Well don’t keep us waiting, John, what’s going on?” Bo’s stern voice asked in reply.
“Uh… Bo, I’ve remembered something that will effect Hope… and you. It is something that happened on my honeymoon.” “When you were lost at sea?” Bo asked. “Yes.” “What does that have to do with Hope?” “Guys, I hate to be the one to break this to you. God knows, Bo, I know there is alot that hasn’t been said yet,” referring to the fact that Bo had not revealed to Hope that he wasn’t the father of Baby John, “but… there’s been some news that has turned up and…” Marlena spoke up, “It’s been fairly disturbing.” John agreed with Marlena, “Right. And it’s far too important to not tell you about it. I’m not real sure where to begin, so I’ll just start at the beginning.”
“As you both know, it was Hope’s body and mind that Gina’s persona had taken over last summer. So, it wasn’t until Hope’s trip to Europe in the fall that Gina had locked her in the Turret and came back to Salem in her place.” “Right,” Bo said as he interrupted, “we know all of that, John. But what’s this got to do with your honeymoon?” “Well… I had started having memory flashes back around New Year’s of what happened to me in Hawaii last summer. And I had also remembered that apparently Gina and I did have a relationship more than just friends,” John then turned his attention towards Marlena in hopes of a sign of where to go next, and she could tell that he was in need of help, “Hope, Gina was mad. And she was obsessed with John. She used every excuse possible to be alone with him.”
“Yes, she did. She even got me alone on my wedding day out in the middle of nowhere.” “Yeah, I remember that. I followed Hope because I was suspicious of what she was up to, but…” glancing at Hope before continuing, “you, or Gina, threw my keys in the bushes so that I couldn’t follow you anymore.” John continued with his story, “That is the time when Hope gave me our wedding gift. It was a portrait of Marlena and I that you had painted.” “I don’t remember that, but I do remember Marlena telling me about the gift,” Hope replied.
“Well, there’s more to the story that just that. Bo, do you remember me telling you about me swimming out to save a drowning girl?” “Yeah, man, you had us all scared.” “Well… it was a set-up. And Gina was the mastermind behind it.” “What?” Bo and Hope both said in unison. “Yup. She was the drowning girl. Now keep in mind, Hope that when I say ‘she’ as in Gina, it was actually your body and mind that was present during all this.” And Hope remarked, “Right, but with Gina’s memories, or persona, if you will.” “Right again. Well, after I swam out to the girl, I remember being captured in some type of fish net and being shot with a tranquilizer gun.” Gasps from both Bo and Hope filled the air. They couldn’t believe what they were hearing. How could Hope’s mind be taken over in such complete control?
“The next thing I remember is waking up on a submarine.” Bo asked in confusion, “A submarine?” “Yeah, pretty far fetched, huh?” “I’ll say,” Bo concluded. “Well, Gina was there, too. And you know I told you that she and I had apparently been romantically involved during my past,” John stated again as hesitation was setting in more and more. “Well… oh, God, I can’t believe that I’m doing this,” he said as he got up and went and stood by the window. Marlena instantly followed him and put her hand on his shoulders and back, “John… you can do this. Come on… I’m right here. We’re gonna go through this together.” John’s heart melted. A few hours ago, he had told his wife that he had cheated on her and fathered another woman’s child, and here she was comforting him. He had put her through so much and treated her so unfairly for her to be helping him with this task.
Bo spoke up first, “Yeah, man… you’ve gotten us too involved and worked up for you to back out now. Besides, we’ve been through so much together in the past. We’re like family, John. We can work through whatever it is together.” With that said, John turned around and looked Bo square in the eye as he said, “After what I tell you, Bo, I hope that what you just said will still hold true. Because God knows that I would never do anything to destroy the family that I once called my own.” Now Bo was worried.
John sat back down and tried to gather his thoughts before continuing on. Marlena rested her hand on his shoulders as she gently rubbed his tight muscles as he spoke. He even reached over and placed his hand on her thigh and gave her a gentle squeeze to say ‘thank you’ for being here for him.
Hope was ready to hear the rest of the story, so she tried to remind John of where he was in the timeframe, “So we know that you were caught at sea by Gina and she took you to a submarine. Do you remember what happened after that?” “Yes, Hope, I do. Look there is no easy way to say this, there is nothing that I could say that would prepare you for what you are about to hear.” “Just say it, man,” Bo said as he was getting impatient. “Hope, Bo… Gina transformed me back into Stefano’s Pawn and then she…” Everyone was hanging on his every word as he continued, “She seduced me.” “What?” cried out Bo as Hope just sat there with her mouth open not truly believing what she had just heard.
“What the hell kind of game are you trying to play, John?” Bo’s anger was about to start showing its ugly face. “Gina wanted me and would stop at nothing to get what she wanted. I think in the long run she even contemplated getting Marlena out of the picture. Thank God she didn’t,” he said as he glanced beside him at his wife. “Hope, I did not believe that these memories were true, but I do have reason to believe that they are. You and I, made love on a submarine during my honeymoon.”
Hope was beginning to feel a little ‘left out’. She had been trying for months to get Bo to tell her what had happened, but he kept avoiding the subject. Now, she felt that she was finally getting some answers, and had this emptiness feeling inside of her that was making her feel that everyone had known about this all along… even though that wasn’t the case.
Hope jumped up from her seat and went and stood by the window. Marlena came up to her from behind and tried to gently influence her to sit back down because there was more to be said. But Hope couldn’t take it anymore. She felt as though she had been lied to and now she was starting to feel that she was responsible for Marlena and John’s separation. They hadn’t come right out and told them about her moving out of the penthouse, but Hope could only assume that how they arrived at the house was proof that something wasn’t right, and may not ever be right again. She was beginning to learn what she did as Princess Gina, and she was afraid that she wasn’t going to be able to live with the truth.
“Hope,” Marlena began, “I can’t possibly know what you’re experiencing right now, so I won’t pretend to. I can only tell you how I’m feeling right now and I have to admit… I’m feeling pretty shitty.” Marlena’s attempt at using curse words almost amused Hope, but given the situation, it was highly unlikely. “Hope, I think that John has more to say and you really need to hear this… come on, let’s go back and sit down.” Hope allowed Marlena to help her back to the couch and she sat back down next to Bo.
***
And after a few moments, both Bo and Hope had heard the full story of how Stefano showed up, threw John overboard after turning him back into the real John, and how Gina then seduced Stefano to save her life. Hope was disgusted to say the least. She was surprisingly taking the news better than any of them. Bo, on the other hand, was furious. “Why didn’t you tell us about this sooner, John? What? Where you hoping that you’d somehow miraculously forget?” he said as he pointed a finger in John’s face. John was right back at him, “I told you, Bo. I wasn’t sure that they were real!” “I don’t give a damn whether you thought they were real, or not. You should have told somebody. I bet you kept it from Marlena, too… obviously from the looks of it. The same day I hear about you sleeping with my wife is the first day that we’ve ever seen the two of you arrive somewhere separately. Am I right?” Marlena spoke up, “Yes, Bo, that is correct. I just found out a few hours ago myself.”
Before anyone could say anything else, Marlena realized what Bo had just said, “Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wha… Wife?” Bo’s temper subsided for a moment to allow himself to tell his friends about his secret wedding. “Uh.. yeah, Marlena. Hope and I got married right before Baby John was born.” “Oh! That’s wonderful! Congratulations!” she exclaimed as she hugged them both. “Finally! Something good has come out of this whole mess… the two of you are married and another life was brought into this world.” Marlena’s statement caught Bo off guard,
“How can you be happy about this baby, Marlena? It’s because of this baby that your marriage is probably in shambles.” “Oh, no, no. It’s not because of that innocent boy upstairs. I would never blame him. Roman didn’t even blame Belle for what happened to us and he was terribly upset. No, my marital problems are not because of Baby John,” she said before glancing up at her husband.
She paused briefly before going on, “So…why didn’t you tell us that you got married?” Hope quickly answered her question, “We wanted to be married before the baby was born. We are still going to have a bigger wedding this fall, but we just wanted it to be official at the time of the birth.” “So I gather we are the first to know?” pondered Marlena. “Yes, other than Shawn. He was there, too.” “Well, we’ll be sure to keep it under our hat.” Bo chimed in at her statement, “Thanks Marlena, but now that this has come about, we’ll probably wind up telling everyone…. but we’ll keep ya posted if we do.”
“And as ironic as this sounds, it seems to me that this mess will affect you two alot more than it will affect Hope and I.” “Bo… you’re probably right,” she replied. After a moment of hesitation, she added, “And I didn’t really want to be the one to bring this up, but seeings how the mother and father are a little hesitant to do so… I will. I think the two of you need to decide how you’re going to work this out, and may I add that whatever you decide needs to be in that baby’s best interest… not your own,” she said as she directed her attention to John and Hope.
“Well, I totally agree with Marlena,” replied Hope, “but I may be speaking for only myself here, but I really think that you should be on this decision just as much as the baby’s actual parents. Just like I want Bo in on it as well.” “Hope, I understand we’re you’re coming from. Afterall, Bo and I are legally Baby John’s step parents, but…” “But what, Marlena?” she asked. “But I just don’t feel comfortable right now planning another human’s future when I’m not sure what mine holds for me.”
Bo and Hope felt badly for Marlena. They both knew how hard she and John had fought to finally be together, and now to be torn apart was just so unfair. However, Bo was not at all sympathetic toward John. In fact he was furious with him for letting this happen. “I just don’t understand it, John. How the hell could you let this happen? How could you do this to Marlena? To me? A man you used to call your brother?”
Hope and Marlena both knew that things could get hostile. “Uh, John,” Marlena began trying to do some damage control, “listen, why don’t we leave so that Bo and Hope can have some time alone. I’m sure that Hope has many more questions regarding her past.” John stated, “Yeah, ok, you’re right.”
But Bo didn’t see it that way. He wasn’t finished with John. “No, way. You’re not going anywhere ’til you answer my question.” John’s defensive side began to flare, “And what question is that?” “How could you do this? We’re like family. And now you want to go off and make love to my wife? I don’t understand.”
John was beginning to get angry, “It wasn’t like that, Bo! I did not know what I was doing!” “And that makes it ok?” Hope felt she should interfere before one of them started throwing punches, “Bo, honey, come on, let’s let them leave. I’m sure they have plenty more to discuss.”
Marlena put her arm through John’s and tugged on it telling him it was time to leave. “Uh, Marlena, before you go,” Hope began, “I would really like for the four of us to decide together on what to do… uh… in deciding on what’s best for Baby John’s future. We need to decide which of the two of you he should know as his father.” Marlena glanced at John and then at Bo, “Hope’s right. And the sooner that decision is made, the better for the baby.”
***
John unlocked the door to the loft and slid it open. He fumbled for a light switch as Marlena stumbled into the room bumping into John. “Oh! I’m sorry. I guess I tripped.” He smiled down at her, amused at her gracefulness. He then said, “There!” as he found the light switch. “You lived in this loft for several years and now you’ve all of a sudden forgotten where the light switch was?” John felt the sarcasm in her voice, “Ha ha ha. As you can see, oh great observer, the moving guys put a nice big tree in the way.”
Marlena smiled at him before turning to walk toward the sofa. John decided to check the upstairs real quick before she got to comfortable. “Be right back,” and he darted up the winding stairs. While he was gone, she familiarized herself with the place again. Flashes of her staying here with John periodically throughout certain times in her life brought back alot of memories. The furniture may have been changed, but the cozy feeling that she always felt was still very much the same.
“Everything’s fine, Doc,” he stated as he came running back down the stairs. “Thank you.” “You sure you want to do this?” “I’m sure.” “I don’t suppose I could talk you into letting me stay here instead, could I?” Marlena shook her head as she made her way to the sofa and sat down.
John sat on the arm next to her, “Thank you for being there tonight. I’m just sorry that it had to end on a hasty note.” “Well, what can you expect? I’m sure Bo will have alot of resentment for you for a long time.” “I know… But it’s you I feel the worst for.” Marlena looked at him in a way that told him that she didn’t want his pity. “I’m sorry, Doc. I know I I have no right to pretend to know how you feel. Listen, unless there is anything else you need… I think I’m gonna head on out.” John felt as though he needed to give Marlena her space.
But as he was getting up to leave, he noticed that she hadn’t moved a muscle and was starring blankly toward the corner of the room. “Doc? Marlena, are you alright?” Just then he noticed that she was crying. “Oh, baby.” He knelt down beside her. “Please believe me when I say this… I love you, Marlena. I never meant for any of this to happen, but I can’t go back and change things. All I can do is continue to love you and prove to you that my life is with you and our kids… whether we’re living together or not.”
The events of earlier were finally beginning to sink in and the news was beginning to take its toll on her emotional state. The news of John having slept with another woman was starting to upset her. Having to deal with that news and the conflicting emotions that she was feeling were causing her to cry uncontrollably.
She looked up at him crying, “And that’s supposed to make it easier? Just knowing that you slept with another woman is killing me! How am I supposed to feel?” John held his head low, “I don’t know, Doc.” “Tell me something. Do you remember what it felt like to make love to her?” “Come on, Marlena, don’t do this. You don’t want to know this.”
Marlena wanted to know if he still had memories of actually making love to Hope on that submarine. She felt that by asking, it would make him relive it and see for herself whether or not he had any feelings for her. She hoped that it would hurt him to tell her about it more than it would hurt her to hear it.
“I wanna know. I wanna know all the gory details… Was she good? Did you like it? Is that why this happened? Did the mercenary John not like how I felt to the real John Black? Uh?” John began tearing up. He couldn’t stand reliving the memories of another woman. “Doc…” “I wanna know, damnit!”
Marlena’s temper turned from sadness to anger as she jumped up from the sofa and darted over to the counter to give herself some room from him. She wasn’t going to make this easy for John. It felt good to her to get some of these questions out in the open. Crying, she continued, “John, I want to know. Do you remember what it felt like?” Honestly, John answered, “No. I don’t remember that.” And before she could question him, he affirmed, “I’m telling you the truth about that. I only remember having done it. I do remember a glimpse of her trying to seduce me, but that’s all.”
“If that’s true, then how do you know that it really happened?” “Because I just know. You’re a psychiatrist, you ought to know that it’s possible,” he sarcastically claimed. Then his voice returned to its usual sweet tone, “I remember making love to Gina. I just don’t remember any details. And that’s probably because I don’t want to remember. See, even my subconscious knows that I love you too much to want to know something like that!” Deep down Marlena believed him, but she wasn’t satisfied with his answer.
Marlena’s tone lowered to a shy like voice, “Am I not good enough for the rough and rugged mercenary John? Is that the problem?” Her face was filled with sadness as she asked this of John. “Marlena, don’t start this. You know we’ve always been excited by each other…”
She surprised him with her next statement, “I mean, we only fucked on a piano, Gina had a submarine. Oh wait! We did do it on a plane, a conference table, and a deserted island, now that was fun… nothing like fucking on someone else’s office table, but I’m sure it’s not as exciting as being underwater.”
“Damnit, Marlena,” he sad as he grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her up against the door, “Do not take our love in vain! Don’t you ever talk about our affair like that!.” John scared the daylights out of her. Marlena looked like a frightened kitten all hunched up in John’s tight grip, but she was not about to back down from him. ‘I am not afraid of you, John. I’m not afraid of my husband.’
“You see? This is that rough and rugged John that I’m talking about! Get your damn hands off of me!” John realized what he had just done and he fell to his knees. Marlena’s fear instantly turned to concern for her husband. “John? Honey, what’s wrong?” “Oh, God! Doc, I’m so sorry!” he replied through tears streaming down his face.
Her heart melted for him. Here she was again being there for him after what he had just put her through earlier that day. In a soft caring voice, Marlena asked, “What just happened here?” Crying, John answered, “I don’t know.” “Has this happened before? Have you had a reaction where this angry temper came out?” “Yes. I’ve been fighting this for some time now.” “Damnit, John! Why am I just now finding out about this? You decide to wait until you nearly push me through a steel door before you tell me you’re having problems controlling your temper?” Marlena was still upset with him.
“I’m sorry, Doc. I don’t know what’s happening to me.” Marlena felt bad for him and felt the need to comfort him. She leaned against the loft door and pulled his head to her chest. She ran her fingers through his thick black hair trying to calm his nerves. “I’m sorry, Marlena. I know the last thing you want to do right now is comfort me.” “John… I’m just upset that I’m just now hearing about this. You know better than that.” “I know.” “It just frustrates me. Do you understand that?” “I do.”
She didn’t know what to do. She was so angry at him for deceiving their love by being with another woman, but it wasn’t entirely his fault, and she knew that. But he should have told her sooner. He lied to her and that made her angry and upset. “I could have helped you, John if you had just trusted me. Trusted in our love.”
He raised his head to meet her eyes, “I know. I screwed up. And if that cost me the honor of your love, then so be it, but I’ll never stop loving you, Doc.” His remark hit her hard. She wasn’t prepared to start answering questions as to how she feels about him. She did still love him, but she was still hurting.
He turned her chin toward his face, as she fought hard not to break down and reach out to him. “Don’t shut me out now, Doc. I need you. I can’t beat this thing without you, that’s obvious.” He rubbed his face on hers; her heart sank. Their lips grazed each other’s as he was relishing in the feel of her. Marlena knew it wasn’t right, but she loved the way he felt. Even in that moment, she felt calm and safe. And that confused her.
“I’m sorry that I said what I did. You know I would never lessen the importance of our affair. Sure, it hurt alot of people, but I do not regret it. I do not regret loving you.” “I know you didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I don’t know where that reaction came from. It terrifies me, Doc.” His voice lowered in a very eerie way that it scared Marlena and relieved her at the same time, “And I do not want to go back there.”
Marlena hated to continually bring this up, but she really wanted to know, “John… if making you go back to that man again was triggered by my questions, I’m sorry. But I really do want to know about it. It saddens me so to know that you… my John Black… my best friend… my lover… my husband was with another woman. That kills me, John. Do you understand that?”
He nodded as she went on, “I know that I look to you as a strong confident woman who could never get jealous, but… when it comes to you… I can. I’m like a silly little school girl when it comes to you, John. And if that makes me a weak person, then so be it. I just… I just lo…” She couldn’t say it. She could not tell him that she still loved him.
John knew that she was trying to tell him that she still loved him, but her anger wasn’t allowing it. He wasn’t going to push it right now. ‘Let it go, man. Don’t push her right now.’ “Doc, when I look at you, I do see a strong confident woman, and no, you feeling jealous does not make you weak. In fact, it just tells me you really are as human as the rest of us. When I look at you, hell when anyone looks at you… they see this superwoman. A woman who’s got it all, and her all is under control. When I look at you, I can’t believe that this superwoman who everyone sees is mine. I can’t tell you how proud of you I am. There aren’t the words to describe it.”
John felt as though she was listening and believing him. He hoped that he was getting through to her. “Marlena, the feeling you’re having now… is it the same feeling you had while I was with Isabella… or Kristen? Or what about Rebecca? Do you remember her?”
‘Remember her? How could I forget! She was the woman who he used to try and hide his true feelings for me right after our affair. How dare he ask that so casually!’ “I’ll admit that I did carry some jealous feelings of your past loves. Kristen on the other hand, was just the bottom of the barrel. As much as I hated lying alone in my bed at night, at the Dimera Mansion, knowing that you and Kristen shared a bed in a room just down the hall, I don’t think jealousy would be the right word for that circumstance. Kristen is a totally other subject. To feel jealous of her would lower myself.”
They had talked before about her feelings for Kristen after what the bitch had done to her, and John knew that deep down inside that Marlena didn’t really care for her, nor did she like remembering John and her together, but he never really thought that Marlena could feel so much hatred for someone. That surprised John, but that, too made him see her as more ‘human’.
Shooting him a look that let him know she still remembered their sexual tension during that time, she continued, “And of course I remember Rebecca. I was mildly jealous of her. This is gonna come out wrong from the way that I mean it, but I think that I was mainly jealous of Rebecca because of the sex. Mmph, it was obvious that you only used her to try and forget me, and that drove me wild. It thrilled me to know that you couldn’t have sex with another woman to try and forget about me because I was all you thought about.”
John gave her a quizzical look. “That’s right. I know I was who you thought about when you fucked her. And that made me feel good… it made me feel alive inside. And the reason I know that’s true is because… you were who I thought about when I was with Roman. You were who I dreamed about while lying next to him at night. Before, during, and after Roman and I would make love, you’re all I thought about. You consumed my every being. I think that maybe it was because of the night on the conference table. That explicit sexual sense that we portrayed, it made me wild. And I wanted more. And Rebecca was who was getting my more. That is why I was jealous of her. I did have loving feelings for you, don’t get me wrong, but because you were using her for sex to get over me, that made me want to have you even more. That made me think of your hands on my body even more.”
It turned John on knowing that his having sex with another woman turned Marlena on. How he would have never thought he would ever hear that come from Marlena, but now that he knew the truth, it all came back to him again. And although he liked that feeling, he would have never done that to her on purpose, nor would he ever do it again. And he knew that he wasn’t going to hear those same words regarding his sexual encounter with Gina. He knew she wasn’t going to forgive him so easily for that one.
Marlena’s tone lowered, “Now Isabella… that was different. I was jealous of her. Real, bona fide jealousy. She had your heart. Which is what I was really dying for. But I chose Roman and that’s that. If you hadn’t feel in love with Isabella, we wouldn’t have been blessed with Brady.”
He felt as though she was avoiding that subject. She darted around it by including Brady in the conversation. And it was probably better that way. Neither of them wanted to say anything that could be mistaken for a derogatory comment about Isabella. The subject was too fragile to ponder on. Besides, Marlena knew that even with Isabella, John still loved her. And John knew it, too.
“Doc, I know that this probably doesn’t change anything, but… I just want you to know that it has made me feel good for us to talk about this. To get more of it out in the open.” He was saying this as his lips were mere inches from hers. Her heart pounded for him. She wanted him. ‘Control yourself, Marlena. Do not let him distract you.’ She was able to keep control and went back to the current conversation.
“But, John… those times were different. We weren’t married then. We had been, but then Roman came back and that changed. We were married last summer when you were with Hope. And I realize that it wasn’t your mind that was with her, only your body. Just the same, it was Hope’s body, not her mind, but… that doesn’t make it any easier. The thought of someone else knowing how your body feels. Oh God!” Her tears consumed her once again.
Sadness and the sense of being unable to help her washed through his veins. He shivered with helplessness. He wrapped his arms around his wife as she cried on his shoulder. Her sobs were hard and full of disappointment. John knew he had let Marlena down. He had let their love down.
It had gotten late and they had both had a long day. “John, I think you should go.” John’s heart sank. He had hoped somehow she would change her mind and they could work this out. He assumed that the worse would probably happen once the truth came out, but he never really believed that it really would. “It is obvious that there is alot to work out between us and we can talk about it more tomorrow. I’ll be prepared to answer any questions you may have. I can’t promise that I’ll know the answer, but I’ll be honest in my reply,” and he kissed her on the forehead.
A half-hearted smile graced her face, “Thank you. I know this must be hard for you, but these questions that I have are what I’m feeling. It hurts to think of you with another woman, and I guess misery loves company because I want to talk about it. I hope you understand.” He smiled at her, “I do. I love you, Doc… always have, and always will. This will all work out, you’ll see.”
He stood up from the floor where they had been sitting and helped her to her feet. Before he walked out, he stopped and asked Marlena a simple question, “You believe me, don’t you?” Marlena looked deep into his eyes, “Yes. I do.” He stepped out into the hallway and looked at her one last time before leaving, “Goodnight, Marlena. I love you, Doc.” “Goodnight, John.”
As she closed the door to the loft, one chapter of her life ended, and another was just beginning.
Page 8 of 76Marlena laid in her bed and tossed and turned, unable to relax. Thoughts of the day’s earlier events swirled around in her head. Thoughts of her and John and all of their plans and how they may never get to experience any of them. One particular plan stood out in her mind the strongest. She and John had recently started talking about buying a house together. He had bought her the penthouse when he found out that Belle was his daughter and now that they were finally married, and a happy family, they thought it was only suitable to have a place of their own. And the thought of buying a house together enticed her explicitly. And the thought that it may never happen, depressed her so.
After more tossing and turning, she decided to take a drive. She figured the one place that might help her relax was St. Luke’s. She needed to reach out to God during this great time of need, for she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle it on her own. While driving to the church, Marlena started having these terrible flashes. Images of what it would be like if her and John were to separate for good. She imaged what it would feel like to divorce her best friend and lover of many years. In a way, it already felt like she had lost it all. And it was only just beginning.
We made it final today
I gave you all I had,
you made your get away
all the love we once made
turned to memories today
She finally reached the church. It was a dark and quiet night. The wind blew gently which made the leaves rustle all around her as she made her way into the church. There was no one else around other than Father Jensen, who was there working. She slowly walked into the sanctuary where she knelt down at the altar. Those nightmarish images of her and John divorcing were still lingering in her mind.
Unbeknownst to her, on the other side of the church, in the smaller chapel, sat John with his hands together deep in prayer. He, too, wasn’t able to sleep, for rest was not coming easy to either of them. When he arrived home earlier without her, he couldn’t stand the pain of being alone, and so he decided to take a walk. He needed to find a way to show her that they still had a life together and decided to come to the church to find some guidance. He still felt really close to God even though he had been released from his priestly duties a few years ago. That experience had never left him, and in fact, it made him get more in touch with his religious side.
During a pause in his prayers, when he was gathering his thoughts, he began having the same images that Marlena had been experiencing. He didn’t understand where the images were coming from, since a divorce from Marlena wasn’t heard of. He always believed that this marriage would be different for he and Marlena. He believed, like Marlena, that they would be married forever. So it was a little confusing to him to have flashes of what it would be like to have a life without her.
I left the courtroom
and went straight to the church
I hit my knees and told God how much I hurt
there’s nothing left of my heart
it’s going to be so hard to make a new start
Marlena couldn’t believe that she was not at home with John getting ready for bed instead of sitting in a church praying to God to help ease the pain. Thoughts of another woman’s hands being on her husband’s body infuriated her. Only her hands were allowed on his body. ‘Geez, Marlena, you shouldn’t be thinking about this while sitting in God’s house. But then again, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for those thoughts. Oh, John… why did this have to happen? Why did this have to happen to us?’
John’s prayers continued to call out to God, “God, I never meant to hurt her. I would never purposely do anything to jeopardize our relationship. It’s just not fair, Lord. I don’t understand why this had to happen. I pray that you’ll give me the strength to make it through. And if this is some kind of test of our love, I just pray that you’ll give Marlena the same strength to help her make it through this. You know how much I love her. And I’m going to continue to show her every chance I get.”
Cause today my world slipped away
we buried the plans that we made
and tonight I’m alone and afraid
cause today my world slipped away
John prayed to God for the strength to not only get through this terrible time, but also for the courage to face their friends. He assumed that they would all be more sympathetic to Marlena, and he agreed that they should be, but he was going to have a hard time dealing with being without her. He has fought a good part of his life to be with Marlena, so learning to live without her would be a challenge that he may never succeed.
Marlena had grown to love John more than she ever thought she could love another man. After one failed relationship and then dealing with loosing Roman on the island, she didn’t expect to ever love again, but John changed all of that. She not only learned to love again, she found her soul mate in John. And now she was sitting alone in a church hurting over something that he did to her.
“Oh, Lord… I know it wasn’t totally John’s fault, but that doesn’t change how I feel, or how it affected me, or that he lied to me. I still love him with all of my heart, but I just can’t go back to him right now. I can’t forgive him, not right now. But please, God, please help me… help us make it through. I don’t want our relationship to end. I always believed that marrying John would be different. Nothing could come between the two of us once we said ‘I do’. So please give me the strength and the will to forgive him… and the strength to deal with the knowledge of what I’ve just learned.”
All my friends say I’ll make it alright
I’ll recover and start a new life
but that’ll be so hard to do
cause livin’ ain’t worth livin’ without you
Before she completed her prayer, Marlena let her thoughts stray to telling her friends and family and the pain that it would cause her to do so. Could she face them? Sighing, she closed her eyes. Fatigue had started consuming her body as she sat there in the hard wooden seat of the church pew. Opening her eyes, she found her hot tears were blurring her vision causing the multi-colored stained glass window in the front of the church to become a jumbled array of blinding colors. Deciding she needed to go, she stood from her seat in the pew and began walking to the back of the church. As she neared the end of the aisle, she turned back to the front of the church. Finishing her uncompleted prayer, she whispered, “Lord give me strength.”
Cause today my world slipped away
we buried the plans that we made
and tonight I’m alone and afraid
cause today my world slipped away
Meanwhile in the small chapel, John continued to sit lost in his thoughts. Realizing how long he had been there, he told himself that if he was going to try and at least get some sleep, he needed to go then. If he were honest with himself, he probably would have remained at the church the rest of the night. Sleep wasn’t about to come easy. As he made his way to the back of the church, he let out a long breath that he didn’t know he had been holding. Reaching the door, he turned to the front of the church. Gazing up to the ceiling, he closed his eyes, and said out loud, “Lord give me strength.”
Cause today my world slipped away
Page 9 of 76Marlena got up early to get over to the penthouse before Belle or Brady woke up. In fact, she was the first one up in the household at all. John was still asleep on the couch and when she walked in she haphazardly put her purse and keys on the table by the phone. When he heard this, he jumped up and yelled, “Hold it right there!” Marlena jumped and turned around toward the couch not realizing that John was downstairs.
“Doc!” “John!” “Geez, Doc, you nearly gave me a heartattack.” “I’m sorry… I didn’t know you were downstairs. What are you doing down here anyway?” she asked in a confused tone as she slowly made her way to the other couch. Looking around to see why the confused look on her face, “Oh.. I uh.. I couldn’t sleep in that bed… not alone.”
“So, Doc, what are you up to so early in the morning?” he asked playfully because he knew that mornings were not her favorite time of the day. “Well, I wanted to be here when the kids woke up. I didn’t want them waking up and their mother not be here.” “Yeah, I sure wouldn’t know what to tell them.” “Well, I know. That’s another reason why I’m here. I didn’t want to put you in a position to answer any questions alone.” John smiled at that statement as Marlena continued, “But we do need to tell them. Today.”
“Yeah, Doc, I know. Tell ya what… let me go grab a quick shower and then I’ll come back down and make us some breakfast.” “No need,” she said as she pointed to the bag on the table by her purse, “I figured it was going to be enough just telling them about us, I didn’t think we’d want to mess with cooking, so I brought doughnuts.” “That was nice of you,” he said as he stood up and pulled her up off the couch and into a hug after kissing her on the forehead, “Good morning, Doc.” Marlena gave a half-hearted smile as she replied back, “G’morning.”
John could feel the tension in her shoulders and back while hugging her. He knew that this was not easy for her and that she may be having a harder time dealing with it than she was letting on. “You look a little worn out. Were you uncomfortable at the loft?” “No, it wasn’t the loft. I just couldn’t sleep, so I got up. I went down to St. Luke’s and spent most of the night there.” John showed a surprised expression, “St. Luke’s? I was there, too.” “Well then, I guess neither of us got much sleep last night, huh?” she said as she walked away from him and out to the balcony.
***
A few moments later John came back down the stairs fully dressed, his black hair even blacker from the water that had not fully dried. He found Marlena standing beside her bookcase looking over its contents. “Have you seen the kids, yet?” he asked. “No, I assume they’re still asleep. It is still early.” “Whatcha doing?” “I’m looking for a couple of books to take with me.” “Take with you? You going on some kind of trip?” “Uh… yes, actually. I’m going to go visit Mama and Daddy for a few days.” John acting a little disappointed in the news because he always liked going to Colorado with her, he tried to muster a smile as he replied, “Oh. I’m sure it will be good for you. And I know they’d love to see you. Give them my love, ok?” “I will,” Marlena replied as she continued her search of the bookcase.
“Um, Doc… I know this isn’t the best time to ask this, but what are we going to do about that trip to Paris that we promised the kids? You know, Belle has really been looking forward to it. She was so disappointed when her and Mimi had to get home and back to school last spring.” “Oh, man, I had forgotten all about that.” “Well, that’s understandable. You know… it really would break her heart if we didn’t take them.” “Yeah, I’m sure it will. Listen, honey, I really don’t feel up to it. Why don’t you just take them? You know they’re gonna want to be alone and explore Paris on their own anyway. They’re not gonna want us tagging along everywhere.”
“What are you saying, Doc? That you don’t want to be stuck with me while they’re off doing their own thing?” “Well, it’s just that we wouldn’t necessarily be the picture perfect happy couple. I wouldn’t want to put a damper on their good time.” John’s expression changed to a somber one. “Will you at least consider it?” “We’ve still got some more time before the trip. Our plans don’t have to be canceled right away.”
Marlena’s reply confused John. He wasn’t sure what she meant by them not having to cancel their plans right then. Did it mean that there was hope for them afterall? He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but at the same time, he found it hard to believe that their life together was over.
Marlena had wondered out on the balcony and she barely noticed that he had asked her a question. “So how long are you going to be gone?” She was so wrapped up in the cool morning breeze and remembering all the mornings they spent together out on the balcony. “You know… this really is my favorite time of the year… it’s not quite as hot as the previous months, but it’s not quite cold yet either. A stray leaf or two begins to fall, making you take notice that autumn is just around the corner.”
“Doc… you didn’t answer my question.” She turned and looked right through him, “I’m not sure. I guess until I feel like coming home. Wherever that is,” and she turned away from him again. He felt a chill run through his body as he was unsure if she would ever consider their penthouse ‘home’ again.
They were both silently standing on the balcony when Belle came down the stairs oblivious to what had taken place. She found them outside, “Mom, Dad, what are you two doing up so early?” Her daughter’s sweet voice startled her, “Belle! Honey, we’re uh… is your brother up?” “Mmm, I don’t know. Why? Is something wrong?” Unsure of how much to divulge at that moment, Marlena replied, “Well… there’s something that we need to talk to the two of you about.”
Looking at John for some assistance, he continued, “Yeah, why don’t you go see if he’s up yet. I bet he is.” “Ok, Dad,” and Belle took of running up the stairs. The two parents watched as they both remembered how Belle and Brady were little kids and they both enjoyed getting to wake up the other one. John thought outloud, “Mmph, guess some things never change.”
***
The mood was a somber one when Marlena walked out of the kitchen with a glass of orange juice and made her place on the couch. John was sitting at the piano when he asked, “Do you have any idea of what we’re gonna tell them?” “No. I don’t.” He stood and slowly made his way to where she was sitting, “This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life, Doc, next to telling you, of course. I sure don’t know where to begin.” With a sigh, she replied, “Oh, JB, I don’t either,” as she rubbed her forehead.
John’s attention immediately focused on the fact that in such an intense moment, she used his nickname instead of his real name. He had always loved hearing her call him ‘JB’. She had only recently came up with that, in fact, it was 1998 and they were in New Orleans together on a reunion trip when his nickname was born. Out of the blue, she gave him that name and it still warmed his heart everytime he heard it.
John was so wrapped up in his own thoughts, he didn’t realize it when Belle and Brady came down the stairs and joined them in the living room. “Mom, Dad, what’s this all about? You’ve got something to talk to us about?” Brady asked. Marlena jumped up to greet him goodmorning as she replied, “Yes, Honey, there’s something that your father and I need to tell you. Come, sit down.”
John and Marlena tried to gather their thoughts as Belle and Brady were making themselves comfortable on the couch, Brady at one end and Belle with her feet curled under her at the other end of the couch. The two parents glanced at each other hesitantly before John put his hand on the small of her back and eased her down on the cushions. He took his place next to her.
Brady broke the silence, “So what’s this all about?” “Well,” Marlena tried to begin, but John interrupted her. “No, let me. I should be the one,” and he took a deep breath and continued, “Kids, I’ve done something, something really bad. I’ve done something that has hurt your mother, and myself, and more importantly… our relationship and family.”
Belle was belting out questions already, “What happened, Daddy?” “Well, Sweetheart, it’s kind of hard to explain. I guess I should start at the beginning.” “Mommy, I’m scared. What has happened?” Marlena moved over beside her daughter and protectively wrapped her arms around her, “Oh, sweet girl, I’m right here. I’m right here.”
Marlena gave John a cold look that screamed ‘look what you have done to our family!’ John could feel the hurt creeping back up in him again, but he knew he had to go on. He figured this was his punishment for the pain he’s caused, having to tell his children. And once he did, there would be no going back.
***
“You son-of-a-bitch! How in the hell could you do something like that? I mean, damn! You say Marlena is the love of your life and always has been, and you go and cheat on her! What the hell kind of sense does that make?” yelled Brady as he jumped up and pointed his finger in his father’s face. John’s defenses immediately took over, “Don’t you talk to me like that, young man!”
Marlena, who had been sitting between Belle and Brady during John’s confession, flew to Brady’s rescue and defense from his father. Touching Brady on the arm and gently nudging him away from his dad, she said, “Brady, come on… sit down.” John tried to interfere, which brought forth an almost punch from Brady. Marlena quickly jumped at her husband, “John! I think you’ve done enough!” and then her voice softened as she turned to Brady, “Son, sit down.”
She continued, “Yelling, nor screaming, nor fighting will make this any easier. The two of you are going to have to get that through your thick heads, because I can’t handle that right now, and I am not gonna put up with it. So, it stops right here. Do I make myself clear?”
After she knew they all understood, she sat down on the couch next to their children and John took his place opposite them. The glass coffee table that separated the two sofas never seemed so wide. It was if they were at war and although it looked as though it was 3 to 1, the three of them were on the losing end. The outcome of the submarine incident would stay with these four people the rest of their lives.
“Now, let’s talk rationally,” she said. Without raising his voice too noticeably, Brady replied, “How can we? I just found out that my dad cheated on his wife and it’s gonna destroy our family… what little remains of one we have anyway.” John tried to get angry at his son, but Marlena stepped in before any damage could be done, “John, I think maybe that if the kids have any questions, we need to let them ask them and we should answer them all truthfully.”
Belle was the brave one who asked the one question that seemed to be on both of their minds, “Mommy… what has this done to you and Daddy?” Marlena’s heart hit the floor. The pang that was already in John’s stomach grew ten fold. The parents knew that the topic would come up, just neither of them assumed it would be the first issue they had to deal with.
Marlena took on a very comforting motherly tone, “Belle, honey… I’ve moved into Daddy’s old loft.” “But, you were here this morning when I came downstairs,” a confused Belle demanded to know more. “I know. I actually came over here early enough to be here when the two of you woke up. I didn’t want you waking up and me not be here.”
Brady’s reply hit Marlena and John very coldly in the heart, “I don’t know which would have been worse… finding you not here, or knowing that you really weren’t.” Marlena instantly teared up at her adopted son’s remark, “Oh! Come here,” she said as she pulled him into a hug.
He took this opportunity to announce that he, too, was moving into the loft. “What? Brady, no, you should stay here, this is your home,” Marlena tried to express. “This isn’t home anymore. I’d rather be with you.” Marlena replied, “I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or an insult. I feel like you’re just saying that because I’m the next best thing.” “Well, in an essence, Mom, you are. We can’t be a family anymore, and I sure as hell don’t want to stay with him, so yeah… I guess you are the next best thing.” Marlena felt the sincereness in his voice.
“Son, I really wish you’d reconsider,” John finally chimed in. “Why, Dad?” Brady demanded as he stood up again which also prompted Marlena to stand guarding her son in a motherly fashion. “Because, son, this is your home.” “This is Marlena’s home, too, but she’s not living here.” “That’s because she’s a grown woman and she can decide what is best for herself.” “Yeah, well, I’m not a four year old kid anymore, John!”
Belle could not take it anymore. She had heard enough of her parents arguing with her brother over the last couple of weeks to last a lifetime. “Brady, stop arguing with him, please, and just sit down.” Her demands took him by surprise, “I’m sorry, Belle,” he said as he did as she wished. He realized that his problems with his father weren’t because of her and although he could very easily blame her, he didn’t. In fact, he felt very protective of her and Marlena. He couldn’t throw away so easily all the years of his life growing up just because he was growing apart from his father.
“Mom, Dad, I want us to stop arguing, ok? I want to work this out like adults… like a family,” Belle cried. John felt he needed to try and hold on to any shred of fatherhood he still possessed with his daughter and so he took his place next to her. Stroking her long blonde hair that reminded him of her mother, he asked, “Isabella, what is it that you would like see happen?”
Marlena didn’t feel as though that was a very fair question to be asking their fifteen year old daughter, “John, don’t you think you’re putting her on the spot asking a question like that? You know what she wants, the same thing that I want… the same thing we all want. We all wish this would go away and we could be a happy family again.”
“It’s ok, Mom. Yes, I would love for that to happen, but since it’s not, I’m not gonna dwell on it. It’s your curiousness of where I want to live, that I’m not sure I can satisfy right now. I don’t see why I should be taken out of the place that I know as home, but then again, I wouldn’t understand it if I couldn’t see my own mother anymore either.”
Marlena instantly knelt down on the floor between her and Brady and put her hands on both of their knees, “Oh, Belle, neither of you will be denied your parents or each other, do you hear me?” She received a ‘yes ma’am’ from each of her children. “Good. Now that that’s settled, I think I speak for both your father and myself when I say that it is your choice of where you want to stay. However, I do want to point out that, although I do not know how temporary this move is, it isn’t definite… not yet.”
“Marlena, I’ve already told you where I’d rather be, temporary, or not. I’ll be upstairs packing,” and Brady darted up the stairs to his empty thoughts and his music. Ironically, this time his music wasn’t at the volume that those sharing the same building could understand the words.
Marlena knew how John’s heart must be breaking, but she couldn’t tend to him just yet. First, she needed to make sure that her daughter was going to be ok. She found herself climbing onto the couch beside Belle as John looked on as if watching his family be taken away from him one member at a time. “Oh, Sweet Girl, I know this must be hard on you. It’s hard on all of us… even Daddy.” John mustered a half hearted smile at his wife’s unselfish comment. “Tell me what you’re feeling?” Marlena asked.
Belle didn’t know where to begin. She was having so many different thoughts swirl around in her head. And tears were beginning to form in her blue eyes. “I guess confusion would be my best guess. I’m feeling alot of different things.” Marlena began wiping away her tears, “Belle, I just want you to know that whatever you decide is fine with me. Sure, I want to be with you always, but it was my decision to move out of the house temporarily until I can get things straightened out. I understand if you’re not ready to make a big jump to move right now and until I know for sure what lies ahead for your daddy and I, if it were my choice, I would rather see you stay here… in your own home… continuing your own routine, and sleeping in your own bed. Is that what you want, too?”
Fearing that her answer may upset her already uneasy mother, she hesitated, but finally agreed. “You’re right, Mom, I would be more comfortable here, but as long as you know that it’s not because I don’t want to be with you…” Marlena cut her off before she could finish, “No, Belle, I would never think that. I want you to do what feels right to you and I do think you’re making a wise decision,” and after a brief pause, she continued, “and I also don’t want you to think that I’m saying this because I don’t want to be with you.” “I would never think that either, Mom.” They smiled at each other as Marlena replied, “Good girl.”
“But you still haven’t told us what this means for you and Dad. Are you splitting up?” a still hurt and confused Belle wondered. John felt as though he needed to answer this question if not for Belle’s sake, but for his own. It was his way of trying to convince himself that the situation could possibly have a happy ending. “Isabella, your mom just needs time to think right now. She’s got alot to deal with and I totally understand that. I hurt you and your brother really badly, but I have a feeling that your mother is feeling more pain right now that we could ever imagine. She’s going to need our support and understanding.”
Marlena wasn’t sure how she felt about what John had just said on her behalf, but she wasn’t going to make a big deal out of it in front of Belle. So she took the more rational approach, “Your father’s right, honey. I need some time to let what happen sink in. I can’t expect you to truly understand right now what we’re going through, but one day when you fall in love, you will know.”
“Dad must have hurt you pretty badly.” “Belle, you have no idea. Like I said, when you fall in love with your soulmate, you will know what I’m talking about. And I just want you to know that I am not saying this to try and tarnish the image you have of your father. I would never talk badly about him in that way to you, or to Brady. Even I must remember that it wasn’t totally his fault. But then again, it doesn’t make it any easier.”
Marlena looked at her watch and realized it was getting late in the morning. “Belle, do you have a volunteer shift at the hospital today?” “Yeah, but it’s not till noon.” “If you would rather not go today, I will talk to Nancy and tell her what’s going on.” “No, no, that’s ok, Mom. I’ll be fine.” “Are you sure? I mean, I know you are a strong girl, but I know what gossip can do to a person.” “Yeah, Mom, I’m sure. Besides, I’ve got friends I can turn to and I’d rather give off the image that I have the will to make it.”
Marlena hugged her daughter and then Belle took off for her room, leaving John and Marlena alone again. She didn’t want the mood to turn tense, so she got up to use the phone. “Hi, Cynthia, it’s Dr. Evans. Do I have any urgent messages?… oh ok, thanks… um, I’m not sure. Since I don’t have any patients today, I’m not sure if I’ll be in or not, I’ll check in with you later… ok, thank you, Cynthia.”
John was busting at the seams to know what would come next, “You’re not going to the office today?” She replied casually, “Um no, I doubt it.” “What are your plans?” “I’m not sure. I thought that maybe I would go see Shawn and Caroline, and then maybe Mickey and Maggie. I didn’t want to seem like I was avoiding anyone… especially since I’ll be leaving town for a few days. I just don’t want anyone to worry.”
“Ok, well, let me get my wallet and keys and I’ll go with you.” But before he could take off, she stopped him, “No, I’d rather you didn’t.” “What do you mean?” he asked. “I think I should do this on my own.” “You don’t want me going with you?”
She could see how hurt he was over her request, and he should be. ‘How can we just go traipsing around Salem telling everyone that he cheated on me and is the real father of Hope’s baby all the while playing it off as though nothing is wrong? Of course something’s wrong!’
“John, I’m just not sure it would be a good idea…” “Doc, I’m a part of this, too, and I don’t want you to have to go through it alone. Do you know what one of the things was that I prayed the most about last night?” “What?” “I prayed that God would give me and you the strength to face our friends and family. That he would make it easy on you when everyone would come up to you while out shopping, or when they would run into you at the hospital. That no one would make a big fuss over it and make you feel worse than you already do.”
Disgusted, she snapped back, “You prayed for that?” Proudly, he answered, “Yes, I did.” “What makes you think that I don’t want everyone’s sympathy?” Anger was starting to show its ugly face and John felt he was about to get a dose of round two. “Doc…” “No, no… you have no right to assume anything. Not anymore!”
“Doc! Just a few minutes ago we were having a civilized conversation with our children and now you’re biting my head off because I felt the need to pray for us. What the hell is the matter with you?” “Don’t you dare turn this around on me, John! We wouldn’t be having this conversation if you had been thinking with your brain instead of with what’s between your legs!”
John’s heart broke and for once he was speechless. Marlena knew that what she had just said was uncalled for. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I should not have said that. I knew it was wrong before it came out. I’m sorry.” “No, Doc… you have every right to say whatever you want to say to me. You have the right to tear into me anyway you like. So take your best shot. Go ahead, let’s get it all out in the open and then we can just move on.”
“Move on? You think that one conversation is going to take away all the pain that I’m feeling right now, John? How can you be so unsympathetic? Yeah, I mean it happened over a year ago, and we’ve been a happy couple since then, but I’m just now finding out about this. You on the other hand, have known about it for months!”
John tried to plead his case, “Come on, Marlena, that’s not fair! I told you… I wasn’t sure if those memories were real or not!” “And that’s supposed to make it ok? John… you were with another woman. How in the hell do you honestly believe your wife would take news like that?”
John sighed. He knew no miracle could make him win this argument. Marlena was in the right this time. John committed the crime and now he was dealing with its repercussions. “I don’t know, Doc. I guess I thought our love was stronger than that, but I realize that this is a pretty big deal and that you have every right to be pissed at me. And I also feel as though that anger is coming from the fact that I truly hurt you… hurt us. I’d probably feel the same way.”
Marlena didn’t want to argue anymore over this. She needed to get out before she really did blow her top. “John… I’ll admit that there are plenty more things that I would like to say to you, and I’m sure that with time, I will. But right now I just want to get away. I’m going to go see Shawn and Caroline, Mickey and Maggie, and I’m also going to stop in to see Sami and Eric. I don’t want to leave town without having told them about this. It wouldn’t be fair. And if it’s alright with you, I’d like to ask Belle if she would be interested in going with me to see Mama and Daddy.”
“Of course it’s alright with me.” Marlena took notice of her husband’s sweet voice and wonderful smile. “And if you’ll allow me, I’d like for you to take the jet out to Colorado. Please, will you do that for me?” Marlena nodded and agreed, “Yes… I’ll stop by the hospital later to ask Belle about going and I’ll call you then. Do you think it can be ready to go today?” “I’ll see that it is.”
Marlena did not want to have to spend another sleepless night in her bed at the loft. It had always been difficult for her to sleep when he wasn’t around since they had been back together and she didn’t want to try. The sooner she could get out of town, the better. “Thank you. Ok, then. I’ll talk to you later,” and she started for her purse and keys when John grabbed her arm.
The pang in her stomach that she was able to ignore for a short time returned when she felt his touch. She so wanted to fall into his arms and hold him. She wanted to feel him next to her… to feel his hot flesh against hers like when they made love. The confusion of the situation was overwhelming. Her head knew that something was wrong because her heart was aching, and her heart was trying to convince her head that it still needed John.
“Don’t do it, Doc. Don’t go.” His heart was pleading for her. He still needed her in his life, for there was no way he could ever learn to live without her… not again. This time he was going to fight for as long as it would take to have her back completely, for almost wasn’t enough for him.
Marlena had to fight hard to get her next words out, “I… I have to, John.” “No, you don’t. You have a choice. You can stay here and we can work this out. I know we can. Marlena, I still love you. I’m still in love with you and I know that you and I can fall in even deeper love if you let us.”
Her heart was starting to break all over again and her eyes filled with tears. She found it harder and harder to resist him. The war that was taking place inside Marlena’s body between her heart and her head was like nothing she had ever experienced before. It reminded her of when she had to deny her love for John when Roman had come back.
Marlena didn’t know if she could keep her composure when she heard his next words, “Marlena, I want to kiss you. I want to taste your lips on mine before you leave me for a few days.” Marlena didn’t know what to do, and it wouldn’t have mattered anyway because John was already acting on his desire for her. He quickly dove for her neck where he knew she was most vulnerable.
Next, without hesitation, he moved to her mouth. She tried to resist the temptation to enjoy it but he felt so good to her. His hot mouth gracefully wrapped itself around her lucious lips. John hoped that since he had made it past her neck to her mouth that he could finally break her.
He needed her with all of his being and although she sensed it, she still tried to resist. “John, don’t.” “Why not, Doc?” “We shouldn’t be doing this…” Desperation was evident in John’s tone, as he whispered in her ear, “I need you, Doc. I just needed to feel you.” Marlena tried to control her breathing and feared that she was obvious in her cover up, when she replied, “I have to go. I have to get out of here.”
She finally tore away from his arms, grabbed her things, and ran out of their penthouse door, leaving John alone with his thoughts. The feeling of how good she felt in his arms swirled in his head as he thought to himself, ‘I’m going to win you back, Marlena. If it takes the rest of my life, we will be together and in love again.’
Page 10 of 76Marlena found Mickey and Maggie at the Brady Pub when she came to see Shawn and Caroline. This was a blessing in disguise for her, since she really didn’t want to face telling her situation more than she had to. Everyone sensed the hurt that Marlena was feeling when they saw her walk through the door. The way she carried herself, not quite as strong and confident as usual, instantly revealed that she was troubled.
Shawn offered for them to go upstairs, but she refused, “No, thank you, I’m fine. Besides maybe sitting her in public might keep me from getting too upset.” Maggie instantly put her hand on her friend’s, “Marlena, we were so sorry to hear the news. Is there anything that we can do for you?” “No, Maggie, I’ll be fine. I’m actually on my way out of town.”
Shawn asked in confusion, “Out of town? Well, where are you going?” “I wanted to take a few days and go see Mama and Daddy. Maybe some time away will give me time to think.” Mickey asked, “When are you leaving?” “I’m leaving today. As soon as I leave here, I’m going to see Belle at the hospital, and then John is accompanying me on the flight.”
“Is he going with you?” Caroline asked. “Um, no, he just insisted that he see me out there, and then he’ll be back tonight. I’m on my way to see Belle next to ask her if she wants to go with me. I’m not sure if she will or not. If she doesn’t, look, I know it’s a school night, but Caroline if you don’t mind, I’ll send Belle and probably Mimi over here for supper tonight if that’s ok. And then John can pick them up when he gets back in town. Either way, I’ll call you and let you know what Belle decides.” “Of course, honey, they’ll be fine. I’ll make sure they are well fed,” Caroline said with a smiling face. “Don’t you worry ’bout a thing, ya hear?” Shawn added.
Tears started forming in Marlena’s eyes as she said thank you to her friends for helping at such an unfortunate time, “I’m not gonna cry, I told myself that I would not get upset.” Maggie tried to comfort her, “Marlena, it’s ok. It’s to be expected. Tell me, how are you handling this?” “Oh, I really don’t want to talk about this right now. I really only came by to let everyone know that I was ok and that I would be going to Colorado for a few days.”
Caroline felt that they shouldn’t push her to talk right now and made eye contact with Maggie that meant maybe she would want to step outside when Marlena left so they could have some private time. Everyone was very worried about her, but making her speak her mind in such a public place may not be what she wanted. Caroline added some words of comfort, “Marlena, just know that we’ll be here for you if you need us.”
Marlena said her good-byes and Maggie followed her out the door. It was getting late in the afternoon and Maggie knew that she wouldn’t have too much time to get any information from her, but she was worried about her friend, so she wanted to try. “How are you doing, really?”
Marlena didn’t want to stir up too many bad emotions, but she felt that she should at least talk to one of them. Hesitantly, she answered, “It’s alot to digest. I’m handling it.” “You’re stronger than any of us, you know.” “Well… I don’t feel the same way on the inside as I look on the outside.”
Maggie could sense the pain that John had caused her as Marlena continued, “Ya know,” she said referring to the fact that they had been here before, “it doesn’t get any easier each time you go through this.” “Oh, Marlena. You’ve got to remember though, John did not do this willingly.”
“Right, unlike what Don did to me, and what I did to Roman. That’s what you meant to say, isn’t it?” Marlena sarcastically snapped back at her friend. A shocked expression invaded Maggie’s face as Marlena continued, “I’m sorry. I’ve been saying alot of things lately that I regret. Please, pay no attention.”
“Well, maybe you need to do it more. It’s probably a sign that you’re keeping some pent up anger inside and it’s making you hurt those around you. Marlena, maybe you should let some of that anger and hurt out instead of keeping it bottled up inside.”
“Oh, Maggie, I’ve tried, and everytime I do… all I ever wind up doing is yelling at John trying to make him remember that night and feel guilty about it. I know that’s not healthy, but I just want him to know how much he hurt me.” Her voice lowered, “Maggie, I can’t even think about us without thinking about her hands all over him. It’s killing me. And I know it’s not totally his fault, and I do not blame Hope, but… oh I dunno,” she said as she threw up her hands in despair.
“Hey, hey, hey! It’s all going to work out. You’re going to be all right. You just need some time, that’s all. You need some time to deal with it. No one expects that to happen overnight.” Marlena interrupted, “John does.” “Well, John is just going to have to get over that! I totally understand your situation and I’d probaby feel the same way if it were Mickey.”
“I just don’t know what to do, Maggie. I don’t want my marriage to fall apart, we promised each other that if we ever actually got to say ‘I do’, that it would be forever. We have been through so much and have fought so hard to be together, but I just can’t go back there to him right now.” Maggie asked the question that had everyone curious, “Are you still living at the penthouse?”
“No. I moved out last night after he told me and we told Bo and Hope. And we told Belle and Brady this morning.” “What are you going to do after you get home from Colorado?” “Well, I’ll probably go back to the loft. Oh, I guess I should mention that John and Brady aren’t on the best of terms, either. Brady has been pretty upset with his father lately, and why we don’t know.”
“Oh, that’s terrible!” “Well, when we talked to the kids this morning, Brady got even more upset and decided to move into the loft with me.” “Oh.” “Yeah, well, he had been on edge lately with me, too, but evidently after hearing his father’s confession, he kinda has a soft spot for me now.”
“That’s good. You don’t want your children against you at a time like this.” “Yeah, I’ve already been down that road once, and I don’t ever want to relive that again, but then again, I hate that John is now going through it, too.” Marlena’s remark made Maggie realize that she still had deep love for her husband even at a time like this.
“We all know how much the two of you love each other and if your love is as strong as it has been, and I think it is, you’ll work it out.” Marlena surprised Maggie by her remark, “The question is, do I want to work it out.”
***
Belle was at the nurse’s station talking to Mimi as Marlena stepped off the elevator. Marlena hesitantly approached her daughter, for she was trying to keep from making either of them upset. “Hi, honey… Mimi,” she said softly. “Hello, Dr. Evans,” Mimi replied. “Hi, Mom.”
“Mimi, would you mind terribly if I steal Belle away for just a minute?” “Of course not. By the way, I hope everything works out. Belle, I’ve got to run some erands for Mrs. Wesley, but I’ll catch up with you later, k?” Belle nodded as they watched her friend disappear around the corner. “What’s up, Mom?”
“Honey, I’m going home to visit Mama and Daddy, and I wanted to ask you if you would be interested in going, too. It’ll only be for a day or two.” The news shocked Belle. “Wow. That’s kind of a wake up call, don’t ya think. You going back to Colorado seems to make this all too real.”
Marlena saw how grown up Belle was taking the news and felt sorry for her daughter. She shouldn’t have to try and protect her mother from her true feelings and Marlena sensed that Belle was trying to hide them. “Honey, are you sure you’re all right?” “Of course, I am, Mom. Why would you ask?” Belle replied as she walked over to the coffee pot and water pitcher the hospital made available to their guests and employees.
“Belle, I know this can’t be easy on you because it’s not easy on me. But I also know that you are not a child anymore, either. I just want you to know that I will not make any rash desicion about our future without taking into consideration our family, ok? You do believe me, don’t you?”
“I do, Mom, and I’ll be fine. You’re right, I’m not a child anymore, but that doesn’t mean that it hurts any less. I know that this is something that you and Dad are gonna have to work out between the two of you.” Marlena and Belle hugged. She couldn’t believe how understanding her daughter was to all this mess.
“You really are growing up, aren’t you?” she asked smiling. “I feel badly for Brady. Mom… why is he so upset with Daddy?” “I’m not sure, honey, but after I get back, I’m going to get to the bottom of it.” “Is he going with you?” “No. I couldn’t talk him into it, so he’s going to stay at the loft. But when I get home, I’m going to have a long talk with him. Hopefully I can shed some light on why he’s acting out so.” “Good luck.”
“So… what did you decide? You coming to Colorado with me?” “Oh, Mom, I’d really love to, but with Mimi moving into her new house and school getting ready to start, I really feel like I should stay here. Please understand.” “I do. I think you’re making the right desicion. Come here, give me a hug goodbye, I’ve got to get going. I’m leaving this afternoon on the jet. Oh and listen, I’ve already talked to Caroline about this… your daddy is flying with me to Colorado, so he’ll be back pretty late. If you don’t mind, you and Mimi go over to the pub and eat supper. Your father will be there to pick you up later.” “Ok, Mom.”
They hugged as Belle said to her mother, “I love you, Mom.” “Oh, I love you, too, sweet girl,” Marlena replied and then she turned to walk away. She got only a few feet away and turned back to Belle, “Honey… take care of your father while I’m gone, ok? If you need me, don’t hesitate to call.” “I promise.”
***
“Brady? Are you alright?” she asked as she entered the loft. He was sitting on the couch in the dark alone. There were no noises from a television or a radio. Marlena was immediately concerned for him. “Brady? Son… what’s wrong?” she questioned as she flipped the light switch on.
She walked over and sat on the corner of the coffee table in front of him. With one hand on his knee she spoke softly, “Talk to me, son.” He looked up at her through tear stained eyes. Sadness had completely taken over his expressionless face. He could not hide the fact that he was hurting.
“What has happened to us?” he finally forced out. It broke her heart. “Oh, Brady. I’m so sorry.” “It’s not your fault, Marlena,” he said as he jumped up from his seat. Marlena felt the hatred he had for his father seep out through his words.
“Brady, are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” “I’m sure. I’ll be fine.” “Then do me a favor. Stay away from your father for a few days.” Her demands shocked Brady. “You want me to stay away from my father? What would make you say something like that?” “Well, you obviously have some deep rooted hatred for him and quite frankly, confronting him in your current state would not be wise.”
“What about you? You obviously don’t need to be around him and now he’s flying with you to Colorado,” he snapped. Marlena quickly defended herself, “He is not staying with me to Colorado! You know your father. He always insists on things like this.” He could see how his remark upset her, “I’m sorry… Mom.”
Neither of them wanted her leaving on bad terms. Brady knew that there was still a lot to be discussed, starting with why he feels so much anger toward his father, but both knew now wasn’t the time. “You know I love you, Brady.” “Yes, I know.” “Promise me that you’ll behave yourself if you see your father?” He hesitated. “Promise me,” she repeated sternly. “I promise to try.” “Good boy.”
“I really hate to do this, but I’ve got to get going. I’m going to run by the hospital and see if Belle wants to go with me.” “I’m sorry I’m not going with you. It’s just that I really don’t feel up to putting on a smiling face and pretending that everything is ok.” “I understand, squirt,” she replied with a comforting voice.
Brady’s eyes quickly locked with hers. “It’s been a long time since you’ve called me that.” “Mmph, I guess some things never change.” “No, they don’t.” Both knew that no matter what, he would always be her son, if not by blood, by love. And they hugged.
***
“Hello? John Black here,” he said as he quickly answered the phone. A raspy voice replied, “Hey, it’s me,” he heard on the other line. ‘God, her voice is sexy.’ It felt so good to him to hear her voice. He loved how she always said ‘it’s me’ instead of saying her name when she called him. “Doc, honey, where are you?” “I’m on my way home, were you able to get the jet ready?” “Yes, I did.” “Good. I’ll see you in a few minutes then.” As she hung up, she heard him say, “I love you, Doc,” but it was too late for her to reply.
Marlena continued her drive home as she thought to herself, ‘Oh, John, how did our lives all go so wrong? We were supposed to be together forever this time. Now what is about to happen to us?’ Marlena wasn’t sure how she stayed between the lines, all she was concentrating on was John.
At the penthouse, John was pacing the floor. He was anxiously awaiting his wife’s arrival. Even though he was about to see her off to Colorado for a few days, he needed to be with her for as much as he could. ‘I’m not going to give up trying, Doc. You backed away from me earlier when I kissed you, but that’s not going to keep me from trying,’ he was thinking to himself when the turn of the key latch interrupted him.
She walked through the door carrying a pain stricken look of despair. “Sweetheart, is everything ok?” She shrugged her shoulders in reply as she picked up her luggage that John had carried downstairs for her. He placed his hands on hers as he pushed the bags back down to the floor. “Doc… has something happened?”
“Only what you’ve done to me,” she smarted back at him. “Ok, I know I deserved that the first couple of times, but don’t you think it’s getting a little old?” She gave him a pissed off look for as long as she could hold it, and then tears started forming in her eyes. She quickly turned away from him, for she didn’t want him to see that she could break down at any minute.
“Oh, Doc, God I’m so sorry,” he said as he walked up to her. He stood so close that she could feel his breath on her neck. He turned her around to look her in the eye, “Marlena, please let’s talk about this. I know we can work this out.” She backed away from him and picked up her bags again, “It’s getting late, we need to go.”
John knew better than to try and argue with her right now. He gave in and decided that he could use the time over to the airport to try and change her mind. And if that didn’t work, he’d still have a couple of hours on the flight to Colorado to convince her to come home.
***
John opened her door and helped her into the Cherokee. He then put her bags in the back and found his way to the driver’s seat. She slowly buckled her seat belt as he started the engine. She looked straight ahead as if staring into space. John wasn’t sure what to make of her current condition. He was afraid to confront her about it, since she looked like she could break at any moment. ‘She looks so fragile. God, I’ve got to get through to her.’
Marlena felt almost no emotion. The only sensation she had was that of her body pressed against the seat cushions. All other feeling had temporarily faded. She felt some peace knowing that she had gotten her things taken care of. She had been to see her friends and family and informed them that she was ok and that she’d be gone for a few days. Sami and Eric were both surprised of the situation when she called them. Neither of them took the news very easily as they had known John as their dad for so many years. And although her parents were thrilled she was coming for a visit, they were saddened by her motivation.
Now all that there was to do was to heal herself. She had to find a way to decide what to do with her life. She knew she belonged with John, but with the horrible images that kept flashing through her mind everytime that she considered the situation, were too much for her to handle. She hoped that a couple of days away would allow her to come up with an objective descision.
John put the vehicle in drive and took off for the airport. And so her journey began, and so did John’s mission to win his wife back.
Page 11 of 76Marlena and John boarded the plane in silence; their drive to the airport was just as quiet. John finally broke the silence, “You didn’t speak a word to me on the way over here, Doc.” “Flight’s gonna be long enough. There’ll be plenty of time to talk.” John was beginning to wonder if her sarcasm was forced or coming naturally these days. John took off toward the cockpit. “I’m going to check in with the pilot. There’s water at the bar. Make you’re self comfortable.”
She stood there in a daze as she watched him disappear behind the curtain near the cockpit. The realness of the situation was starting to sink in as she felt her body stiffen. She decided to check out the wet bar, and found both a bottle of water and a bottle of Jack Daniels. She raised one eyebrow and remarked, “Mmph, well lookie here… good ole Mr. Jack.” And she took one of the shot glasses and poured her a shot, totally ignoring the bottle of water.
After downing one shot Marlena decided to sit down and try and relax. She found herself cozying up against the armrest of the couch. The feel of the leather seemed all too familiar to her. Too familiar. Flashes of the cold leather slamming against her hot flesh as John stripped her of her clothes passed through her thoughts like a bullet. The experience of that night on the plane was all too real for her to ignore. She couldn’t stand it. She had to move.
John stepped out of the cockpit in time to see the gesture she made, and thought to himself, ‘No, that wasn’t obvious that she went out of her way to move off the couch.’ As he stepped back into her view, he commented, “Couch not comfortable enough for ya?” She knew what he was implying and she did not want to go there.
He made himself comfortable on the couch from where she had just risen. “What happened to the water?” he asked referring to her bottle of Jack Daniels in hand. She looked right through him, “My tolerance for alcohol has risen due to the incredible amount of pain that my body is currently feeling.” “Touché,” he replied. ‘Damn, Doc, could you be any more cold?’
The mood got tense as the silence grew louder and louder. Neither of them knew what to say next. Marlena just sat in her chair pouring shot after shot as John watched her in fear. When she wasn’t downing alcohol she was starring blankly across the room. He had to do something.
“Marlena, please come over here and sit by me.” “Why?” she coldly asked. “Because I want to talk to you.” “You can talk to me while I’m sitting here.” Knowing that he was not about to win this conversation, he began, “Marlena, I’m worried about you.”
The room grew even more silent. Marlena had been trying to hold it all together since yesterday, and with each passing hour, that task was growing increasingly more difficult. The grip that she had on her emotions began to slip. Marlena started to cry. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to hide them with her hands. John noticed this and sensed that it was the first time she has allowed herself to break down, since hearing the truth.
He rose from the couch and walked over to her. She never looked up at him as he helped her back over to where he was sitting. She nestled down in his arms and cried. She needed to get some of the pain and hurt she was experiencing out of her system and John gave her the security to do it in. “That’s it, baby, let it out. Let it all out.”
Marlena bawled for nearly ten minutes before finally getting her tears under control. She had not noticed that they were now airborne. “You ok?” She half smiled as she answered him, “Just peachy.” He gently moved a stray hair away from her eye. A lone tear trickled down her cheek, but his fingers were there to catch it. His tenderness moved her so. She always loved the way his hands felt on her skin. Even at this moment, when she felt so far from him, his touch brought it all back home for her.
“Sweetheart, let’s talk,” he begged. “We’ll just end up arguing.” He mustered the sweetest voice possible, “No, we won’t.” “Well what do you want to talk about?” “You… and me.” “John, there’s really nothing more to say,” she pleaded. “See, that’s where I disagree. I think there is alot more to say, Doc. I… still love you, honey, and I know you still love me, too.”
“John, whether or not I still love you is irrelevant.” “Of course it’s relevant! You’re my wife!” “That’s not what I meant! See! Here we go again… we’re arguing… this is exactly what I wanted to avoid.” “You’re gonna have to deal with it sometime, Doc.” “Well, ya know what? That’s one of the reasons why I’m going to Colorado for a few days. I need to deal with it!”
“So what are you saying? That when you get back, you’ll have it all figured out? Huh?” “You are being an ass, John Black!” “I’m being an ass? You’re the one whose been cold and trying to avoid me!” “John, stop it. Just stop it, ok? I am not in the mood to fight with you right now. This flight is gonna be long enough without us yelling at each other the whole way.”
Marlena then jumped up from her seat and headed back to where she had left her shot glass. She looked it over and without hesitation, she found herself pouring another. “Doc, come on,” he exclaimed as he placed a hand on hers, “don’t you think you’ve had enough?” “Three shots is hardly enough for the amount of pain that I am experiencing.”
John put his foot down, “Come on, that’s enough! You of all people should know better. I’m not going to allow yourself to drown your sorrows with booze. It doesn’t work that easily. Besides, I’m the one who screwed up, shouldn’t it be me sitting in some sleazy bar telling the bartender to keep ’em coming?”
The reality of what she had done started to invade her thoughts. “Oh, God!” she yelled as she put her hand over her eyes. “Oh, baby, baby, it’s gonna be all right.” John tried to pull her into another hug, but she pushed away from him leaving him standing there with arms open wide.
She was facing the rear of the plane, unable to allow herself to look at him. She wanted to, but she felt that she’d break down. She wanted to be strong. Being on their plane wasn’t helping matters. The sudden tickle of his breath on the back of her neck startled her.
“Baby, I don’t understand what you’re going through right now, but if you’re up to telling me, I will gladly listen.” “Why don’t you understand, John? Are you confused by my reaction to the news?” “Well… I’m not sure. I mean, I guess I figured you’d be somewhat upset, but… I just didn’t expect this.” “Why not? My husband tells me he slept with another woman, of course I’m gonna be upset! I’m pissed as hell! Why would I not be?” she yelled.
“Because! I told you already… I am not in love with the person who I made love to! You, on the other hand were in love with the man you had an affair with. I did not have an affair! I was drugged, transformed, and made to believe that it was still 1985. I then proceeded to have sex with Princess Gina, in Hope Williams’ body, thus resulting in getting her pregnant.”
“And now you see why I’m so upset! John, don’t you see… you were with another woman… not me… you did not get me pregnant… you got someone else pregnant. That breaks my h…heart.” She could barely finish her sentence before bursting into tears, but he was finally getting her message.
He pulled her against his chest with one quick motion and she wrapped her arms around him as if he were her life support. “Oh, God, Marlena… I’m so sorry. I love you so much, I want to make this right. Damnit it’s killing me to see you in this much pain. There’s not a damn thing I can do about it because I’m the cause of it.” She hugged him tighter as he continued, “I’m starting to see that now. I’m starting to realize that you may be slipping away from me. Doc, that scares the hell out of me.”
All she could do was cry more. She couldn’t bear the thought of actually losing him. Through her tears and sobs, in a low voice, she asked, “John… why did this have to happen? Everything was going so well. We had fought all sorts of adversity to finally be here, together, married. Why now? Is this our punishment for our affair? Was our love wrong all along?”
“No,” he answered sternly, “our love was not wrong and it is not wrong. There is nothing about us that is wrong, Doc.” “Then why?” “Stefano! He’s why!” “Come on, John, we can’t go on the rest of our lives blaming him. We’ve got to start taking some responsibility for our actions.” “My actions… that’s what you meant. I guess I deserved that.” “No, John, I didn’t mean just you. I don’t blame anyone but myself for our affair. I don’t blame Victor, or Stefano, or even you. I made the decision to make love with you. You did not force me. I am responsible.” “I’m responsible, too, Doc.”
There was a silence after his last comment, and Marlena was waiting for him to admit that he was partly to blame for what happened on the submarine. John knew that is what she was waiting for, and he also knew that she was right. It was time for him to finally fess up.
“And I’m also responsible for what happened last year. There I said it. Does that make you happy?” “No.” “Will I ever be able to make you happy again?” She gave him a cold hard look. It was if she were looking straight through him and into the cabin walls behind him. She softly replied, “I don’t know.”
The pilot came over the loud speaker asking for John’s presence in the cockpit. “I’ll be right back, sweetheart.” As he approached the pilot, he spoke, “Scott, is there something wrong?” “Not exactly, Mr. Black, but there is a storm forming just ahead. I wanted to warn you in case we had to make an emergency landing at another airport. We might have to wait it out.” “Do you think it will hit before we make it through?” “I’m honestly not sure. We’ll keep you posted. It’s also possible that we can circle around for a while and wait it out in the air.” “Thanks, guys,” and he left the cockpit.
“Doc, there’s a storm brewing just ahead of us. Scott’s not sure if we’ll make it through before the storm hits.” “What does that mean?” “It means we might have to make an emergency landing at another airport. We may have to wait it out on the ground, or circle around for a while.” “Oh,” she said with a disappointed look. “What? You have a problem with spending a little extra time with me?” She only stared at him.
He wasn’t succeeding in reaching her, so he decided to fix him a drink instead. While he did, she sat down on the couch again. “You want something?” he gently asked. “Yeah, Scotch.” John couldn’t believe his ears. ‘She wants more alcohol? Guess that’s what I get for asking.’ “Here ya go,” he handed her the drink and then sat down beside her.
A few minutes passed while they each sipped their drinks. It was beginning to get dark outside and John suggested turning more light on in the cabin, but Marlena declined. She always liked the way it looked when the dim lights were on. It made her feel safe and secure… even in her saddest moments like these of the present.
John broke the silence, “Doc, where do we go from here?” “Oh, I don’t know, John.” “I mean, do we have a chance of staying together?” His question really hit home with Marlena. She thought long and hard before answering him.
“You know… ten years ago, if you had asked me if we’d wind up together, I would have said yes. Then we didn’t. I stayed with Roman and you married Isabella. Then, a few years later, if you had asked me if we would ever get the chance to be together, I would have said no. I never expected our affair to happen, but it did. Then, a few years more, if you had asked me if we would be together since Roman and I had broken up, I would have said yes. I was so still in love with you and wanted to tell you, but I didn’t, and we didn’t get together. We had many opportunities to, but we didn’t. Then, as you can probably guess, I would have then suspected that we would never get another chance, but we did. We finally admitted our love for one another and were finally able to get married. Now, you ought to know what’s coming next. I also never expected this to happen, but it did. And now you’re asking me if I think we have a chance of staying together. Well, I know what I’d like to have happen… I want us to be able to work this out… but… I honestly don’t have a clue this time what will happen.”
“Well, that’s a relief, because for a minute there I was expecting you to say that you believed we had a chance, and with your track record with your instincts, you would have been wrong.” She chuckled. “Doc, I’m kidding. I get your point. This whole situation baffles you so much that it has you at total odds with yourself. You don’t know what the hell to expect.” “You’re right, I don’t.” “Doc, you’re not the only one. I don’t either.”
She looked at him as if she were waiting on him to continue. When we realized that she needed more information, he went on to add, “It’s not like I planned any of this. It’s not like I wanted to have sex with Hope’s body. Hell, knowing now what the truth is, I wouldn’t have even chosen to remember!” “That doesn’t change anything, John. You just don’t get it, do you?” “Well, I guess not. Why don’t you explain it to me?”
“Let me ask you something.” “Shoot,” he sarcastically remarked as he waved his hand in air in front of his face. “When did you find time to have DNA tests run on that baby and you?” Hesitantly, he answered her, “While you were in Africa.” “You son-of-a-bitch. While I was out trying to make a difference in the world, you were snooping around Bo and Hope’s house and then the hospital trying to play God with our lives!” “It wasn’t like that, Doc!” he snapped.
“Oh? And tell me, just where were your son and daughter while all this was going on?” “They were fine.” “Sure they were. They were all going to be fine! Except for poor ole Marlena. God forbid her husband actually tell her the truth!” “It wasn’t like that!” he yelled.
“Yes it was like that, John! You forgot about the fact that your son came home from college to spend the summer with us, to go off and play house with Hope and her baby!” “Marlena, I’m warning you… don’t.” “Don’t what, John? Don’t bring up the fact that your son hates your guts for some unknown reason and it’s driving you crazy? Because you’ve spent half your summer worrying over yours and another woman’s baby? Your son is headed for trouble, John, and you have no one to blame but yourself!”
Her words were beginning to rip through his flesh and tear at his heart. She was hitting a sore spot with John. “John, I have to admit that Brady’s behavior has surprised me. I don’t have a clue what it is that has got him so upset. And obviously, he has been upset with me, too, but since your little confession, he’s kinda warmed up to me a little.”
John interrupted, “I’m sorry, Marlena, I don’t know why he’s acting out toward you, but I promise I’ll find out.” “No, you know what, John? I think I’ll handle Brady when I get home. You’ve done enough. I think you ought to stay away from him for a while… until I get back.” “You can’t tell me that I can’t see my son.” “John, you haven’t spent more than a day with him all summer, why do you all of a sudden want to now?” “Fuck you, Marlena!”
Her eyebrow raised in total shock as to what her ears just heard. “Is that how you really feel? Tell me, did you know that he may not go back to school this fall?” “No, I didn’t.” “Well, maybe if his father actually showed his son some work ethic, he might have some motivation to make something of himself!” He jumped in her face, “God damnit, Doc! Don’t you ever say that about me again! I work! And besides, you never complained about the money.”
“John, I don’t need your inheritance to survive, or to make me happy. I’ve always worked for what I have. My career is very much a part of who I am.” “Yeah, and doctors sure as hell aren’t on the bottom of the barrel financially!” “I did not choose my profession for the money!” she yelled back.
“And I didn’t ask to be an Alamain!” “Yeah, but you sure as hell use it, don’t you! And now your son is probably suffering for it!” “Yeah, well, not everyone can be as perfect as Belle… she’s just like her mother!” “Oh, God, John, now you’re sounding like Brady!”
“Ever think that he may be right?” he snapped. “Sure, she’s got my drive and motivation! Did you also know that she has recently expressed an interest in working in pediatrics?” Shocked, he responded, “No, I didn’t.” “That’s right. Our daughter may want to go to med school. How’s that for motivation?” “That’s awesome, honey!” “Well, I wouldn’t have expected you to know that because you have hardly spent any time with your children in months!”
His anger took total control of him as he grabbed her by the jacket collar and pulled him to his face, “Damnit, Marlena! I warned you not to go there!” “Or what, John? Or what? You gonna hit me? Is this the mercenary coming out in you?” she paused before lowering her voice, “I’m not afraid of you. Take your hands off of me.”
And then… he kissed her. He kissed her with all the passion that they had ever pent up over the years. All the sexual tension that they had experienced while apart, and all the sexual passion that they had ever shared while making love, all came back to them at this moment. Their lips pressed together with much force.
His mouth moved its journey to her neck. He had to taste her hot flesh, for her neck always looked sexy to him when she was angry. She moaned deeply. He quickly turned his attention to her jacket and ripped it from her body. Then, he focused on her button-down shirt. He did not have the will to prolong this any further and in one swift motion, he ripped her shirt open. Tiny white buttons flew across the cabin and pounded softly as they each hit the floor.
His shirt came off next, followed by her jeans and undergarments. Finally, he shed his black jeans and picked his naked wife up in his arms. He helped her onto the leather couch as he crawled on top of her; her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist as they have done so many times before. He loved it. He knew when she did that, that she wanted him… that she was truly there, in the moment with him.
“Oh, Doc, what are we doing?” “What feels right,” she answered breathlessly. “I want you, Marlena Black. I want you.” “I’m yours.” “Are you sure?” making sure to question her after the fight that they had just had. “I don’t care about yesterday, or tomorrow, all I know is this moment.” John swallowed hard, and began kissing her gently on her lips.
Soft moans seeped from her mouth as her desire for him grew. The feel of the leather couch on her hot skin brought back many memories. The excitement of the moment made her want him even more. “John, I don’t know if it’s our situation or just being on this plane with you that makes this so exciting, but either way… I want you.” “I want you, too, honey.” And they made passionate love with one another, flying through the clouds, thirty thousand feet above the land.
***
The pilot had announced that they would be circling a small airfield for a few moments in hopes that the storm would subside. Marlena lay in John’s arms on the couch, both still breathing heavily from having just made love. “Oh, Doc, I need you so much. I love you, baby.” Marlena’s breathing still had control as she could not reply.
The thunder in the sky was deafening to their ears as they lay in the darkness of the cabin. The lightning danced on the rain that was falling outside their windows making occasional shadows on the walls. Marlena snuggled closer next to John’s body. The security of being in his arms made her feel safe and comfortable.
“You feel so good to me, Marlena,” he whispered, “you feel so good in my arms.” Marlena still did not reply to him and it trigged her to move closer to his body. John spoke, “Doc, what we just did right then… I… I’m sorry for cussing at you earlier. My emotions got the best of me… obviously.”
As they sat up, Marlena had this somber look on her face. This worried John. Her silence made him uneasy and brought only one question to mind, “Are you sorry we made love?” John felt some of the tension in her face ease as she looked at him and answered softly, “No.” “Are you sorry we ever made love… or that we even fell in love?”
Marlena gripped the blanket that she had draped around her naked flesh, “John, how could you ask me that? I have never regretted falling in love with you. And I don’t regret having made love to you while being married to Roman, either. I hate that it caused him so much pain… but it’s obvious that we were meant to be together.”
John smiled at his wife. For the first time in two days he felt close to her, like they were really in tune with each other. She continued, “And no, I do not regret having just made love to you. That’s not the kind of feeling that experience leaves me with,” she said with a seductive look in her eye.
“Baby, I know I hurt you. I know that. I also know that I can’t turn back time and erase it, but I want to move on with you, Marlena. You know I still love you. You do still believe that, don’t you?” He was beginning to think that she doubted his sincerity. “Of course I still believe that.”
“Then stay. Stay with me and let’s work this out. Look, we can turn and fly to New Orleans, or some other romantic city and we can just work through this. Just the two of us,” John begged. “Oh, honey, I don’t know.” “Come on. Why not?” “Because, John… it’s just too soon… I just… I can’t. I can’t.” She rubbed her forehead with frustration, “Oh, how much longer?”
***
They loaded her luggage into the limo and then the couple found themselves standing quietly in the cool night air. The wind blew gently causing Marlena’s hair to dance on her face. She tried to make small-talk to cover up her obvious emotions, “Thank you for flying over here with me. You know you didn’t have to, but… I’ve always liked it when you do things like that,” and she ended her sentence with a smile.
He reached his hand up to her face to pull a stray strand of hair from her eyes. “And you know I’d never let you out of my sight for very long.” They peered deep into each other’s eyes. John’s insides fought the urge to take her into his arms and never let her go. “I can’t believe you’re going to be gone for a few more days. I hate being away from you, Doc. You just got home,” he said as he stepped closer to her.
His closeness made her think back to their love making on the plane, which is something that made her a little uneasy. She was supposed to be keeping her distance from him after hearing that he was with another woman, but the urge to do so was not there. “John, the limo’s waiting… Mama and Daddy are waiting.” “Doc, don’t go.” “I have to.”
John felt the inner need to beg for her forgiveness, “Marlena, I’m sorry. Please understand that I did not do this on purpose. I love you so much, baby.” A tear started to roll down his cheek; Marlena’s finger was there to cradle it. His heart ached for more of her soft touch. And she ached for more of him.
She peered deep into his eyes and into his soul seeing the true John Black that she knew and loved. She finally spoke, “I know, John. And I won’t be gone long… I promise.” “I miss you already.” “I’m here now,” she said softly. His nostrils flared at her remark, and he forced the lump down his throat that had formed again. He wasn’t sure what to make of it, but before he could question himself, Marlena slid her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down to her lips.
“As much as this hurts, at the same time I still need you,” she said breathlessly. She paused for a brief moment and then continued, “We’ve made love at thirty thousand feet… now twice… how ’bout we take a spin in the limousine before I leave?”
John’s heart skipped a beat. The lump that he just swallowed, had returned. “I… I… don’t know what to say. You take my breath away.” “Don’t say anything, John, just come with me. Join me.” “I’m not sure I understand you. Earlier you were at my throat because of what happened, and you have every right to be, but now… Now you’re wanting me to join you in your limo and make love with you again. You’re going away to Colorado to contemplate our future, you say. So why are you doing this, Marlena?”
She was taken aback by his refusal. She could no longer look him in the eyes, “I… I… I have to go.” He quickly grabbed her arm and stopped her from getting into the limo, “Doc, wait.” “No, I have to go.” “Don’t. Don’t do this to me… to us. You can’t leave like this.” “John, let go of my arm. I have to leave.”
John put his foot down this time, “No. I’m not letting you. You’re not leaving until we discuss this.” “There’s nothing to discuss. I’ve made a mistake. I’ve got to go,” she cried. “Marlena! Listen to me! You want to make love, we’ll make love. You wanna fight and then fuck our brains out, then we will, but do not walk away from me like this. Not when we’ll be hundreds of miles away from each other. It’s hard enough for me to not be able to reach over and touch you in the middle of the night. Now I can’t even get in my Jeep and drive over to see you, so don’t tell me that you made a mistake, Marlena Evans Black. No one in this world has made a bigger one than me.”
Marlena had to choose her words wisely. She wanted to convey to him that her emotions were so out of wack that it was causing her to say and do things that she knew would add to the confusion. But she still loved him. That was one emotion that was hard to fight. Tears began to form in her eyes, “Forgive me. I’m just a little confused by my emotions right now. Ironic, isn’t it? I mean, we just made love while I’m supposedly angry with you and now I’m coming onto you again like a hot hooker. No wonder you don’t understand me!”
John almost laughed at her ‘hot hooker’ remark, but he maintained his composure, “Oh, sweetheart, there’s nothing to forgive you of. It is perfectly natural for you to feel confused. Hell, I feel confused. I’m confused about how I could let this happen. But Marlena, I know that I am still in love with you, and always will be, and I am praying that we can work this out.”
She peered up into his eyes as she spoke, “I hope so… because I can’t just have you half way. It’s got to be all or nothing. Almost isn’t enough.”
Page 12 of 76John did not even get in the door good before Roman was jumping down his throat. “You son-of-a-bitch! I can’t believe you, John Black!” Roman yelled. John snapped back, “What the hell are you talking about, man?” “You know damn well what I’m talking about. How could you? How could you do this to her?”
John’s temper flared, “Hey… you have no right to talk to me this way and you have no right to her!” “Oh and you still do? Bullshit! I have every right to her. She is the mother of two of my children. Her well being is very important to me.” “It’s a little too important, don’t ya think?”, John snapped.
Roman could tell that John did not like him prying in his marriage, but after what John had done to Marlena, Roman was going to see to it that she was not hurt anymore. “Why’d ya do it, John?” “You talk like this is my fault.” “It is your fault! You slept with another woman! Seems like you’re getting pretty good at it, too…” and as he continued, John grabbed his collar and pushed him against his office door, “but I had no idea that you’d actually cheat on Marlena. And get your damn hands off of me before I have you arrested!”
John let him go and apologized. “I’m sorry. My temper has been getting the best of me lately.” “That’s no excuse.” “Are we still on the same subject here?” John questioned. “Yeah, the subject of you cheating on Marlena! Of all people, why her?”
“I told you. It wasn’t my fault,” John pleaded. “Ya know, I always thought that you and Marlena had something special. I knew that the bond between you would be hard to break. So what gives?” “I don’t have to stand here and defend myself to you, Roman.”
“How’d you defend yourself to Marlena, huh? You probably sugarcoated it so well that the truth hasn’t sunk in yet. I bet she’s ready to break and offer her forgiveness already.” “No, as you can imagine, she’s pretty upset about this. In fact, I think this news has hurt her more than it has anybody.”
Roman remarked, “Bo and Hope do seem to be taking the news surprisingly rather well…” John interrupted, “Yeah, well, not Marlena.” Roman’s sarcasm took over, “You’re right… I can imagine. Do you think that this is what she deserves? Just because you two did it to me, do you believe that it justifies what you’ve done? She does not deserve to be put through that hell!”
“We’ll work it out, Roman! She’s a grown woman and I’m a grown man. We still love each other and that is what will pull us through this… as if it is any of your business anyway.” “I told you, she is my business! And I’ll see to it that she comes through this.”
John snapped back at Roman’s remark, “Yeah, I’ll bet. That’s exactly what you’ve been waiting on isn’t it? You want another chance with her so badly you’d jump at any opportunity!” “That’s bullshit and you know it!” “Is it? If it is, then tell me that you don’t still love her. Go ahead!” John said while in Roman’s face.
Roman took a step back from John. He had to think about what he was about to say before letting just anything out. “Walking away from Marlena was the worst decision I have ever made, you’re right about that. And because of it, I’ll regret it till I die, but she and I were in love once. I still care about her, John. And right now I’m sure she needs a shoulder to cry on, or some friendly advice. Hell, it might be good for her to hear the advice of someone who’s been through it. I’m not trying to steal your wife, John. I’m not like you. This is twice now you’ve slept with someone else’s love.”
John was sick of listening to Roman’s verbal abuse, “Look, if you want to know how she’s doing, then why don’t you see for yourself.” “Alright, I will. Where is she? By the sound of you I bet she’s at home wondering where her husband is.” “Wrong. She’s in Colorado.”
Roman was completely surprised. He was expecting to hear how John walked out on her, “Colorado? What are you saying?” “She walked out on me, Roman. That’s right. She walked out on me two nights ago,” John said as he left the office in search for Abe. Roman thought to himself, ‘Oh man. I’ve got to find you, Doc. I can’t let you make the biggest mistake of your life. Not like I did.’
***
Brady was wondering around Salem Place when he almost ran smack into John. “Son!” “Dad,” an unhappy Brady responded. “Have you heard from Marlena?” John asked. “No. I’m surprised you didn’t wake her up this morning dying to talk her into coming home… Telling her how much you miss her and all.”
John did not want to discuss his marital problems with Brady, but he knew he couldn’t just leave it at that, and he figured he could turn the subject around. “She needs time alone right now, Son. I’m sure you understand that.” “What are you accusing me of, Dad?” “Why are you getting so defensive?” “I gotta go,” Brady said as he tried to walk away, but John’s words stopped him in his tracks, “Is it always gonna be like this? Will you and I ever be able to talk civilly to one another again?”
The commotion going around them in Salem Place seemed to fade away. Brady did not want to fight with his dad anymore, but he wasn’t ready to reach out to him just yet. John scammered to find a way to break the wall between them, but came up empty handed again. Brady had enough and turned and walked away leaving John there alone wondering what will come of his relationship with his son, as well as with his wife.
***
The early morning found Marlena on the back porch admiring the mountainous view. Her parents also got up at the crack of dawn filling the Colorado air with the scent of eggs, bacon, and coffee. Marlena tried to convince them that she was not there to be waited on, but they wouldn’t hear of it. Her mother told her that there was no way she’d let her daughter come to visit and not feed her and take care of her. The thought of her mother and father making such a fuss over her presence amused and pleased her.
As much as she wanted to enjoy this time, her thoughts strayed to John and to the broken home she left behind. She really hoped that a night away from him would help her clear her mind, but after having made love to him on the way to Colorado did not help matters. Ironically, she felt that the only way to deal with her troubles would be to go home and face them head on.
Marlena knew that she still loved John… nothing would ever change that, but she couldn’t help how hurt she felt. The thought of her husband being with another woman dominated her every being. ‘I’ve got to get past this. I’ve got to get past thinking of him with Hope. I’ve got to figure out a way to let it go.’ Her mother had innocently overheard Marlena thinking outloud.
“How, Marlena. My sweet girl. It seems as though you are in quite a fix. You always did manage to do that.” Marlena looked at her mother in hopes to find the purpose of her last comment since this situation was not something that Marlena had done.
“You and Sam used to get into such a fuss about each other.” Mrs. Evans began settling into her chair as she began her story, “When you were really young, the two of you would get so jealous of each other. You couldn’t stand it when she got something and you didn’t, and vice versa. But you were so little then. As you grew older, you both realized that you really were two separate people. Of course, that’s not to say that you weren’t extremely close, but you began to know that you would each lead separate lives. I had no doubt that the two of you would forever be the best of friends even through adulthood.”
Marlena was hanging on her mother’s every word wondering where she was going with her story. Mrs. Evans paused briefly before continuing, as if to gather her strength for what she was about to bring up. “When Sam did what she did to you… I didn’t know what to do. I felt I needed to jump in and straighten her out, but that wouldn’t have been fair. Afterall, she was an adult then. But you… you handled yourself really nicely, very grownup, very professional. I dunno, maybe all those years of med school taught you alot of patience, because when you were younger you didn’t seem to have much of it.”
This sparked some laughter from Marlena, who had been listening very intensely. Her mother’s last comment reminded her of how John occasionally teases her about being a doctor and not having much patience. And it felt good to be able to talk about Sam and not get too emotional, but she knew that a conversation about Sam would eventually lead to a discussion of her death.
Her mother continued, “You learned to have much patience and understanding for your sister, and it’s a good thing you did. Just think what you’d be like now if the two of you hadn’t come to terms with each other before her death. Marlena, aren’t you glad that you forgave her for all she had done? Aren’t you?” She demanded an answer.
“Yes,” Marlena softly uttered, “I’d be a wreck right now if I hadn’t.” “My point is, is that you forgave her. You let it go. That is what you’re gonna have to do with John now. You’ve just got to let it go. He didn’t willingly consent to this, so you must believe that his heart is still in the right place… with you.”
Marlena interrupted, “I do still believe that. It’s just that it’s so hard. It’s different when it’s your love verses your sibling. It makes a difference when the man you are intimate with betrays you.” “You’re right, it is different. But you must love him an awful lot to have agreed to spend the rest of your life with him. Are you going to throw that all away?”, her mother asked with the tone that sent shivers up Marlena’s spine.
***
Night had fallen and it found in a total mess. He had just hung up the phone with Hope when his thoughts instantly turned to his wife. ‘Oh, Doc. I sure have gotten us into a fine mess, haven’t I.’ He went upstairs to say goodnight to Brady and then he made his way to his bedroom… their bedroom. Brady wasn’t in much of a talkative mood, and that added to John’s confusion. He glanced at their bed, “Yeah, right. I’m not even going to attempt it.”
John glanced at Marlena’s vanity table, at all her perfume bottles she left behind. The simpleness of the incident almost made him smile, for he realized that where she was going, for the reason why she was gone, she wouldn’t be needing them. That gave him comfort… for there was always a part of him that feared her leaving… and he is fearing it now even more so. His fingers gently glided over the tips of the perfume bottles, soaking in all the remains of her that he could.
***
Marlena felt a bolt of passion shoot through her like a shock of electricity. “Marlena, dear… what on earth is wrong?”, her mother asked. Marlena looked as if she had seen a ghost. “Marlena?” The worried motherly tone quickly brought her back to her senses. “What? Oh… um… I’m ok, I’m ok.” Mrs. Evans wasn’t convinced, “Marlena, you’re so pale. What happened just then?”
Confused, Marlena tried to backtrack and relive what happened, but she could not, for there was no real explanation. There was no tangible reason why she all of a sudden felt the way she did. The emotion of just having felt John’s presence, having felt John’s touch on her, in her… there were no words to describe.
***
He quickly pulled his hand back from her perfume bottle as if a child were pulling his hand from a hot sensation. He couldn’t explain it, but he could have sworn that he could feel her. Fighting the urge to allow himself the satisfaction of falling into his own fantasy, he turned his attention to the french doors and the cool night air. “Come on, man, get a grip on yourself. She’s not here. She walked out on you.”
Standing out on the balcony of their bedroom in the cool fresh night air, he is reminded of an earlier event. He thinks back to his run-in with Roman. The thought of her ex-husband running behind his back, trying to find his wife, infuriated him. Without notice, his knuckles turned pale white.
“I’ve got to try and get some sleep,” he said to himself as he turned and noticed their empty bed. With eyebrows furrowed, he sighed in defeat, knowing there was no way that he could make it through the night without her. The thought of calling her tempted him, but he was strong. He didn’t want to push her away with his unwillingness to corporate.
John was so wound up in his own self pitty that he almost didn’t notice the piercing sound of the telephone ringing. His eyes lit up like a child’s. All he could hope for was for the voice on the other end of the line to be that of Marlena’s. His “Doc.”
“Hello?”, he nearly leaped out of his skin. “It’s me,” the voice on the other end replied. “Doc. Oh, baby, it is so good to hear your voice. Are you doing ok?” “Yes, I’m fine. Mama and Daddy are taking very good care of me.” “Of course, I had no doubt that they would,” John trivially said as he fought hard not to beg for her to come home, “Hhh… How are they?”
“Uh? Oh, they’re fine. Listen, John… I just… I… uh… nevermind,” she said as her voice softened into a whisper. John knew she was trying to tell, or ask him something, and he was unsure why she was unable to. ‘She’s pretty upset about this, man, that’s why she sounds so down.’
But he had to try and be there for her, afterall, he did still love her. “Baby, what is it? Come on, you can talk to me.” “Well, I… I… how are the kids?” “Oh, uh, Belle is fine… she’s actually not here… she’s staying with Mimi tonight.” “And Brady?” “Uh… well, I guess he’s fine. He’s in his room right now. We’re not talking much.”
“He’s home?”, Marlena was shocked. “Uh… well, actually no. He’s here picking up a few things. He’s headed back over to the loft any minute now.” “Oh,” Marlena paused, “I’ll give him a call later.”
Marlena’s heart couldn’t stay concealed for too long, “How are you?” “Me? Oh, I’m… Oh, Doc, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m here, that’s about it. I’ve been standing out on the balcony staring at our bed trying to find the strength to lie in it without you… praying that I can make it through this night without you.”
“Yeah… I know what you mean, believe it or not. It’s been pretty difficult being without you, too.” “Yeah, but you didn’t necessarily want to be with me, either,” he continued as his voice lowered, “and I don’t blame you. I understand why you left.” “Well, if it’s any concellation, it doesn’t hurt any less being here without you.”
John couldn’t stand it any longer, he had to tell her how he felt, “Oh, Doc, God I miss you. I’ve barely made it through this day, gosh it’s been one helluva day, and well, quite frankly I’ll be really glad when you get home. Well, back in Salem anyway. I guess I’ll understand it if you don’t come back here. Oh, God, now I’m rambling. I’m sorry, Doc… I just… I just love you so much, baby.”
“Oh!”, Marlena put her hand over her mouth in hopes to stall her tears. He continued, “I’m so sorry this happened to us. I always thought we were indestructible. Actually… I still believe we are.” “John, I’m trying to believe that again.”
Page 13 of 76The “r” sound rolled off his tongue like a romantic music note, “Rolf! Isn’t this great!” The doctor nearly fell out of his chair as Stefano burst into their secret office below the wine cellar, “What? What is it, Stefano?” “Ahhh… it is a good day in Salem. It’s so wonderful, Rolf.” “What, boss, what? What is it that is so wonderful?”
Stefano was bursting at the seams with thrill, “Rolf haven’t you been paying attention? Our dear friends of Salem, they’re lives are falling apart before our very eyes. It’s going to be easier than I thought for my plans to succeed.” “What are you talking about, Stefano? Are you still planning on claiming the beautiful Marlena for yourself?”
“Ahh, Rolf, it’s going to be easier than I thought to destroy the lives of Salem… they’re already one step ahead of me. Just look at the way that John and the Precious Marlena’s marriage is already starting to fall apart. And only after a year… tsk tsk tsk.”
***
John was worried about his relationship with Marlena, but he was also worried about being a good father to his son. He needs to find a way to be loyal to all of them. John knows he can’t just turn his back on his baby son, but at the same time, he can’t make JT his only priority. ‘I’ve got enough problems of my own at home right now. How can I be a good father to JT when I can’t even get through to Brady right now? I’ve got to reach Brady… and I’ve got to get my wife back.’
***
Brady was going to make an attempt to put his life back together. He is still not ready to let his father in his head, but he is ready to stop disappointing Marlena. Afterall, she had been a mother to him even when John wasn’t there as a father. Even though Brady was a little boy, he does have fonder memories of living at the Penthouse with Marlena and Belle, than those memories of staying at the Dimera Mansion with his dad and Kristen.
Brady thought out loud to himself, “I know what I have to do. I’m tired of making excuses. You’ll see, Dad. You’re gonna be in for the surprise of your life.”
***
Bo and Hope had started putting the pieces back together sooner than anyone. For some reason, the news of John fathering Hope’s child was easier on this couple. Perhaps it was because Bo already knew that he wasn’t the father, so he had dealt with that already. Still, he was somewhat uneasy about the fact of one of his best friends sharing in his son’s life so closely.
It had to be done. The decision had to be made about how JT is to be raised. “Bo, I think that we need to sit down with John and Marlena and talk about this. I think that she will want to be a part of the decision.” “Oh, I dunno, Hope. She’s pretty upset about this right now. Bringing her into could just make her feel worse.”
Bo had a point, but Hope saw the bigger picture, “True, Bo, but think about it. If John doesn’t include her in this, then she may get the impression that he doesn’t want her help. Making JT his highest priority may not be the best thing for everyone.”
Bo knew she was probably right about including Marlena. Afterall, she was still a huge part of John’s life, and he has always wanted her involved with whatever he was doing. That may be one reason a part of Roman has always resented John… for John being able to reach Marlena when no one else could. And it was obvious that John still had a part in Marlena’s life, too, since it took little influence to get her involved.
Page 14 of 76The limo driver opened her door and out came a woman’s leg. It donned a tan high-heeled pump and nude colored pantyhose. “I’ll get your bags for you, Dr. Evans,” the driver said politely. She thanked him as she revealed herself from the interior of the limo. She looked very sophisticated in her light beige business suit. It was the kind that she wore when she had an important meeting at the hospital to go to. It was like her ‘power suit’. And she felt more powerful after two days away from her problems and she was going home with a clear head.
The plane was parked and waiting on her to board. As she looked up, she saw a man’s figure. She thought to herself, ‘Here we go, Marlena,’ as he came down the stairs to greet her. He had a huge smile on his face as he approached her and she couldn’t help but notice it.
“Hi, Sweetheart,” he said cheerfully, “did ya miss me?” She tried to keep her composure and allowed only a sly grin to escape, “A little.” “I missed you something awful.” “Really?” she playfully asked. “Really.” “Good.” The driver announced that they were ready for takeoff anytime they wanted to board. John replied while never taking his eyes off of Marlena’s, “We’ll be right there.”
Neither of them could stand it anymore. All games were over, they needed to be in each other’s arms. He stepped closer to her and carefully pulled her into a loving embrace. He buried his head in her hair relishing in the smell of her. “I missed you so much, Doc.” She pulled back and looked him in the eye, “What do ya say we get going? I’ve got alot I want to talk to you about.”
Once they were settled in and safely in the air John could not hold it in any more. He had to know what it was that she wanted to discuss with him. “So what’s this we need to talk about, Doc?” After getting a bottle of water from the bar, she sat down next to her husband while letting her shoes slide to the floor. He swallowed hard at the sight of her bare feet. He loved her in her business suits. ‘She looks so sexy sitting there next to me.’
John was getting impatient as he teasingly said, “Look, if you’re trying to torture me by stalling, it’s working.” She smiled at him, “I’ve made a decision.” His eyes got huge as he knew in his heart what his ears were about to hear. “I’m coming home.” “Oh, baby, that’s awesome!” he gleamed as they hugged each other very tightly.
He put enough space between them that he could look in her eyes and say, “I love you, I love you!” “I love you, too, John,” and she slid her hand on the back of his neck like she always did, and pulled him down to her mouth. They kissed each other very passionately, each of their tongues getting a good workout.
“Oh, I’ve missed you so,” she said breathlessly. He was fighting the urge to rip his wife’s clothes off and make wild passionate love to her. He didn’t want to seem too forward and jeopardize the situation, and so he remained in control by continuing their conversation. “Doc, I’ve got some news for you, too.”
“Brady has decided to move back home.” “Oh, John! Honey, that’s wonderful! I know you must be thrilled. How did this come about?” “Well, Brady and I had a long talk and that was the outcome. I think he realized that he still needed to be close to me. Evidently, he has some issues that he feels needs to be addressed.” “That’s great, honey.”
“Doc… do me a favor and hold me in your arms the rest of the flight home.” Her heart filled with love as he said this. She reached out her arms and pulled him to her chest, both making themselves comfortable on the couch. Happiness filled the cabin air as they made their way home.
***
Both Belle and Brady were asleep when their parents got home, and John and Marlena decided to wait until morning to tell them the good news. John took her bags to their bedroom while she made them some tea. When he came back downstairs, she was standing out on the balcony in the cool night air. She spoke softly when she felt his presence near, “I can’t believe it’s finally fall. This year has gone by so swiftly.” He moved closer to her so that she could feel his breathing, “I know what you mean, Doc. So much has happened… I feel like I’ve lost alot of time with you and the kids… But that’s all about to change.”
She turned around to look at him and curiously asked, “And what does that mean?” Sliding his hands around her wait and pulling her into him, he responded, “It means that I’m going to take full advantage of every opportunity to spend quality time with you and my family.” He then got a devilish look in his eye as he continued, “Starting with… something I made for you.” “Well, you know I love it when you take advantage of me, so what is it?” she curiously asked.
“Come on, it’s upstairs,” and he took her hand trying to pull her back inside. “John, we have teenage kids upstairs asleep.” “We can be quiet,” he said with a wink, “and besides… isn’t seeing your parents in a happy and loving relationship a healthy thing for a child?” “Yeah, but ya gotta draw the line somewhere,” she teased.
“Fine, if you don’t want to see what I’ve made, then we won’t.” “No, I do want to see it.” “Ok then, if you won’t willingly come… I’ll just carry you,” and he reached down and picked her up in his arms. This forced laughter from both of them and John knew he’d better keep them quiet before they woke up the household. And he did so by repeatedly giving her kisses as he climbed the stairs to their bedroom.
“Ok, are your eyes closed?,” he asked. “Mm’mm.” “Ok, I’m going to set you down now. You’re all right, I’m right behind you. Keep ’em closed till I say… Ok, now. Open them.” Marlena opened her eyes and took in the beauty of the room around her. While she was downstairs, John had filled their Jacuzzi for her and lit several candles that filled the bathroom with dim light. The sight and thoughtfulness that had gone into fixing this for her took her breath away, “Oh, John! It’s beautiful.”
“Well, I kinda figured you might be tired after a long flight… and a long few days… and thought you may want some… time to relax.” “It’s perfect. Thank you.” “Anything for you, Doc,” and he kissed her on the forehead. “Well, hop in.” “What, are you not going to join me?” “Only if you want me to.” She replied seductively, “I want you to.”
“Tell ya what,” she began, “go ahead and get in, and I’ll be right back.” John did just that. He made himself comfortable in the hot water as he eagerly awaited her return. And when she finally appeared in the doorway, he knew it was well worth the wait. She had changed out of her suit and slipped into her black silk robe, which was John’s favorite, with nothing on underneath.
She stepped into the room as John stared at her beauty. “Would you like to join me, Mrs. Black?” Her answer was a silent one, for what she did words were not needed. She opened her robe to tease him that she bore only her skin beneath the silk layer of fabric. Once she knew she had him, she slipped it off her shoulders, letting it drape across her back. He could not take his eyes off of her. He would not take his eyes off of her.
Next, she let the robe slide completely down her body making a pile of silk on the floor beside the lowered, in-floor, Jacuzzi. John looking her up and down, responded, “You are such a beautiful woman, Marlena. So very elegant… and unbelievably sexy.” She peered down at him seductively as he reached his hand up to help her into the water.
After only a few minutes of relaxing in the water, Marlena was wanting to move on to other things. John asked, “Would you like some more champagne?” “No.” “Would you like another foot massage?” “No.” “Well, I guess I can’t seem to please you tonight, can I?” “Oh, I think you’ve got what it takes to please me,” she said as she moved closer to him and reached for him under the water. “At least, you’ve always satisfied me in the past.”
John’s breath escaped him as he remarked, “I think that is by far the most awesome experience there is to witness.” “What’s that?” “To help my wife have the most earth shattering orgasm while making mad passionate love to her… or fucking her brains out… whichever you’re in the mood for.” His last remark enlisted a throaty laugh from Marlena, as she tilted her head back in excitement. “Which are you in the mood for?,” she seductively asked. He was quick to answer, “Anything with you, foxy lady.”
Marlena wanted to make this a memorable night for them since they had been through so much recently. She didn’t want to just go jump into bed, make love, fall asleep in each other’s arms, and then start the next day together. No, she wanted to be a little more romantic than that. And John was off to a good start with romance with the bath he prepared for her.
Her eyes met his as she steadily placed her hands on the edge of the floor behind her. She then slowly pushed herself up out of the water and onto the edge of the jacuzzi, allowing all of her body to be revealed to John’s eyes. He soaked in the view with much love and passion for his wife. His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when she then motioned with her finger to come to her.
He stood up out of the water. She instantly noticed the effect that she had on him. He gently made his way toward her and stopped when he reached her legs. He placed both hands on each of her knees and slowly spread them, giving him room to get closer to her. Then he rubbed his hands up her thighs to her hips.
Marlena gazed down at her husband as he seductively caressed her skin. She knew she was home whenever they were together in each other’s arms like this. John had the power to make Marlena experience passion and love like no other. He had the power to make her, even the most sophisticated psychiatrist, loose total control.
“Gosh, Doc… all this fighting we’ve been doing sure has changed your… sexual habits.” “You complaining?” “No, ma’am.” “I don’t know what it is. I guess it brings me back to a time when you and I used to bicker over the littlest of things.” “I remember,” he softly responded, thinking back of when they knew each other only as friends, back before they thought he was Roman.
“Some of our most memorable moments were of us arguing over what went on at the hospital.” “One conversation has always stood out the most in my mind. Remember when we fought over my ‘sign-in, sign-out’ sheet?” Marlena laughed, “How could I forget?” They both said in unison, “Pest spray!” After a few moments of laughing and kissing each other playfully, she commented, “And I still think it was a stupid idea!” “Hey! It kept you safe, didn’t it?,” he pleaded. She agreed with him with a smile, “Yes, it did.”
The seriousness in her eyes when she replied reached right to his heart. He leaned up and took her mouth in his for more exploration. She could feel him growing harder and harder as he stood between her legs. She was so thrilled to be back in his arms again.
“John… wanna see what my sexual side wants next?” “Dare I ask?”, he questioned teasingly. “You enjoy, as much as I do, making slow passionate love. And we both also enjoy a little kinky sex every now and then, right?” John agreed. “What do ya say we mix a little bit of it all and… make love to me right here. Just slide up inside of me while on the edge of the Jacuzzi, and make love till we both explode in orgasm.”
And he did. And he took them both to new heights of their love and passion.
***
The moonlight found their naked bodies intertwined under a thin layer of fabric on their bed. John and Marlena were tired enough from their lovemaking to sleep for hours in each other’s arms, but neither wanted to miss a moment of their newfound love.
John propped himself up on the headboard and pulled his love into his arms tighter, “Oh, Doc, I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more than I do right now. I could hold you forever lying right here in our bed.” Making her place with her head resting comfortably on his chest, she replied, “Mmmm… then why don’t you.” He responded with a whisper, “I might.”
John’s attention was turned to the moonlight that was dancing out on their balcony. “Honey… come with me,” he said as he stood up out of bed. Marlena sat up holding the sheet securely to her chest, “Where are you going?” “Outside. On the balcony.”
His response provoked a deep laugh from Marlena as she glanced down at his lower half that was perfectly positioned in front of her, “You can’t go outside like that,” she continued seductively. Noticing that she was correct, “Then bring the sheet,” he said with a wink.
They made their way to the moonlit balcony, both draped in the sheet, and trying not to trip over each other. Marlena couldn’t control her laughter as she playfully slugged John on the arm, “You big goof!” “Shhh! Doc, you’re gonna wake the neighbors!”, he teased. Glancing around the night sky, soaking in all its beauty, she commented, “Well, if we’re lucky… no, if they’re lucky, they’re already awake experiencing true love like we just have. Otherwise, what’s this all for?”
His heart melted at her profound words. He has always admired that she is a huge fan of true love. Maybe that is one reason why they are so perfect for one another… because he, too, is a huge fan of true love. And they are each other’s.
“I just wanted to take you out here, and be able to experience the night air with you in my arms… after having just made love,” John said warmly as he wrapped his arms tighter around his wife, and pulled her closer to his body. “I love you so much,” she stated with a smile.
John began glancing around the night as if he were looking for something when he said, “Doc… there is nothing that I can find that is more beautiful than the sparkle the light of the stars makes in your eyes. You are so beautiful to me.” “Mmmmm,” she moaned as he kissed her forehead.
“Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world.” “You’re welcome…”, and with a wink, she continued, “now take me back inside and make love to me again… Please.” “Yes ma’am,” and he lifted her into his arms and carried her to their bed for more hours of passionate lovemaking.
Page 15 of 76The three o’clock hour found Marlena at Titan publishing planning her strategy with Victor and her campaign manager, Damon. They had alot of ground to cover over the next few weeks. It would be vital to her campaign success if she devoted adequate time to the project, but the thought of being away from her husband and children more than necessary bothered her.
“We’ve just got to make do with the time that we have,” she stated. “Marlena, I understand your concern, I do, but if you want to win this thing, then you’ve got to put in the hours.”
Maybe she didn’t want it. Maybe she would rather be at home with her family than out on the campaign trail. “Where all is this going to take me again?” “Well, most of your campaigning will be done right here in Salem. Salem is one of our biggest markets and it should be given the most attention, I think. But now I do see it important to take you to three other places.”
“Three other places? Where?” Hesitantly, Damon answered her, “New York, Miami, and…” Marlena was hanging on his every word. She was about to get the shock of her life. “Paris.” Her jaw dropped, “Paris?! No way! I can’t just up and run to Paris!”
Damon was trying to calm her down. She was jumping to conclusions before hearing him out. “Marlena! Listen to me! It’s not as awful as you think. Let me explain. Your family will be able to go with you.” “Oh?” “That’s right.” “Well, that is ironic because my family and I are planning a trip to Paris this fall. Do you think it would be possible to combine the two?” “Absolutely.”
***
Marlena was rushing through Salem Place, hurrying to get home when Roman stopped her. “Doc!”, he said as he grabbed her arm so that she spun around to look him in the eye. “Roman!” “Doc, do you have a minute?” “Well, actually, no. I’m on my way home.”
Roman was somewhat shocked by her reply, “Home? Doc, that’s great!” Confused by his response, she asked, “What do you mean?” “What do you mean, what do I mean?” “I mean, what do you mean, Roman?”
“Uh, Marlena, before this gets anymore confusing than it already is, let’s have a drink, shall we? You got time for some coffee? I really need to talk to you.” She could see the desperation in his voice. “Ok, but I can only spare a few minutes.”
A moment passed after they were served their coffee before Roman finally spoke, “Marlena, I just want you to know… if you need anything… a shoulder to cry on, whatever, I’m here for you.” Marlena was even more confused by this statement. She felt a little uneasy about the situation, “Roman, I’m not so sure I understand what you mean.” “I know what happened, Doc. I know about you and John and Bo and Hope.”
Now she was starting to see more of the big picture. “Wow, news travels fast in this town,” she sarcastically remarked. “Come on, Marlena, that’s not fair. Afterall, I’m family.” “I know, I guess that was a little harsh. I’m sorry… forgive me?” “Of course,” he responded as he smiled at her.
“So, what’s this all about? Why this concern for me all of a sudden?” “Because, Doc, just yesterday you and John were…” Roman realized that he had said too much. “You’ve seen John?”, she asked. “Yeah. He was at the station yesterday.” “At the station? What was he doing there? Oh, wait… let me guess. He was checking up on any new developments on our good friend, Stefano.” “Doc, I…”
She interrupted him, “Did the two of you have a run-in at the station?” “Look, I… he told me you walked out on him. He was pretty bad off when he was there. You could tell that he was hurting.” “Are you defending him?” “Not at all, Doc, not at all. In fact, he’ll probably tell you that I jumped his case pretty hard about what he did to you. But I want you to know, I was only acting out of concern for your happiness and well being. I’m not trying to interfere, I promise.”
Marlena could tell that he was trying to plead his case before she could talk to John and hear a different side to the story. “Roman,” she paused, “I promise to keep an objective opinion about this. Whatever John tells me will be taken with an open mind.” “Thanks, Doc.” “Now as far as his search for his past, that is something that I can’t promise to stay understanding about.”
“Come on, Doc, don’t be so hard on the guy…” She interrupted him, “No no no no. Definitely do not defend him in this situation. For John to go digging into his past again would make me a highly irrational person. And we all know what it can be like when I get pissed off. I think I’ve got some pull this time. After the hell that Gina just put us threw… I dare something else to stand in the way of mine and John’s future.”
***
The dinner plates were cleared away and dishes done, then Belle and Brady were off to their respective destinations for the evening. John had just poured himself another glass of tea when he was about to retire to the living room, when he noticed something odd about Marlena.
There was an uneasy quietness about her tonight that made John uncomfortable. He couldn’t put his finger on what might be wrong after having spent the previous night rediscovering their love for one another, but he was about to learn.
“Wanna tell me about your little visit to the station while I was gone?” Her smart-ass question rang through his ears. “You’ve talked to Roman,” he stated matter-of-factly. “What does that have to do with anything, John?” “I don’t want this to turn into an argument, Marlena,” he said as he swirled his glass in hand through the air. He made his way into the living room in hopes to end the confrontation.
“Don’t walk away from me while I’m talking to you.” “I’m not going to talk about this with you if this is how you are going to approach it. You come home, you hardly speak a word at dinner, practically ignoring your kids, and now you’re making a poor attempt at accusing me of something your ex-husband said I did.”
“He was afraid you’d do this.” “Marlena, leave him out of it! You wanna know what I was doing at the station, then you ask me!” “Ok, what were you doing at the police station?” “Doing what I always do. Checking Stefano’s records. Going over them for the umpteenth time hoping that I have overlooked something, or that maybe, just maybe the cops have dug up new evidence on him that would put that bastard out of our lives for good!”
“When is it gonna end? When is this obsession with Stefano gonna end? Are we ever going to be able to take some responsibility for our own lives?”, she cried out. John wanted to fight back, but he held it in. He could see that she was hurt by what he did, and he did not want to fight with her about it. Not now. Not after having just got her back.
He reached for her and quickly pulled her tightly to his chest and desperately stroked her hair. “Doc, I don’t want to fight about this. If you wanna know about something, talk to me about it rationally. We can work it out.” “John… it’s not like I went digging this up behind your back. It just came out in conversation that you were at the station. I obviously overreacted. I’m not going to apologize for caring. I will say I’m sorry for the way I chose to approach you about it. That was not very adult of me. But I’ve got rights in this, too, and I am not going to just stand by and let what Gina did to us destroy the rest of our lives. It has got to stop. And you need to seriously consider the fact that this search for your past may eventually destroy our marriage.”
Marlena’s words rang true, but John wasn’t able to see that just yet. He still has strong convictions about finding out more about what happened to him before he came to Salem.
“John… look, we just got back together. Can’t we at least spend some time enjoying our love and our family before rushing back to the past? Haven’t you figured out yet that the past is holding us back?” Her outcry was halted by the ringing of the phone. Marlena hesitantly gave up on her conversation with John and answered the phone.
It was Hope. She wanted to get together tonight to talk about JT’s future. He needed to know who his father is going to be, and the sooner, the better. “Hope,” Marlena began while turning her focus toward John, “I think that is something that you need to talk to John about.” Holding the phone out to her husband, she continued, “It’s for you. I’ll be upstairs.”
A few moments passed before she felt his presence in the room with her. She was scared and uneasy about what was to come. She wasn’t sure if John would want her to be included. “Doc… Hope thinks that we need to make a decision regarding JT.” “I agree.”
John realized that he would have to try harder, “I want you to be a part of it. I can’t do this without you. I need… no, I want you by my side. Will you please join me?”
Marlena turned around with tears in her eyes, “Oh, John. You know I’ll be there for you. I just needed to hear you say it. I need to know that you still need me.” “Of course I do, baby.” “John, can I ask you a question?” “Sure, what is it?”
She thought for a moment and decided not to ask the real question that was on her mind, but instead she asked about his past, “Promise me that you’ll give us some time before starting your search again?” “I promise. Cross my heart,” he said with a wink.
Page 16 of 76Marlena was getting ready to walk out the door when John came running into the living room shouting, “Whoa! Whoa! You’re not walking out that door till I get a goodbye kiss, Foxy Lady!” And he smothered himself with her mouth. “You think I would actually leave my husband’s side before getting one of those?”
After a quick exploration of each other’s mouths, they parted slightly so that Marlena could read John’s emotions. She wanted to make sure that they had made the best decision possible regarding JT.
“So this is how it’s gonna be,” Marlena commented. John agreed happily, “Yup, I guess so.” “And you’re ok with the decision?” “Doc… I’m glad we decided what we did. JT’s future is really the only important factor here, right? I think it’ll be better for everyone involved, especially JT, if we raise him this way.” “You know what? I agree.” “Doc, I’m just so glad that you support me on this.” And they smiled at each other with shimmering and love filled eyes.
“So… you gonna be at work all day?” he asked hoping for a delightful answer. Marlena shrugged her nose as she replied, “Unfortunately… yes. I’ve got a patient this morning and then I’ve got to go to Titan later in the afternoon. So, as you can see, I’ve got a full day.”
Her nonchalant comment provoked a laugh from John. “Well, then, I guess I’ll just have to see ya when you get home.” “Well, what are you doing today, ‘Mr. I’ve got all the time in the world’?” she asked teasingly. John tapped his finger on her nose, “I’m going to work today. I’ve got a board meeting at Titan for the Tuscano Foundation.” “Oh! Well, then, I guess I’ll see you when we get home later,” and she kissed him as she headed out the door.
***
Marlena’s only appointment today canceled, which left her several hours to kill before going to Titan. She figured now would be a perfect time to start some early Christmas shopping. Belle would be at school, and John would be in a meeting most of the day, so there was no worry that Marlena would “bump” into one of them while shopping for their gifts.
After spending nearly two hours in all the stores, Marlena was coming up empty handed. “Oh well. I guess it is a little too early anyway.” Just then she spotted something in a display window. Standing outside the jewelry store, she saw it… the perfect gift for John.
***
John’s meeting with the Tuscano Foundation Board ended early due to most everyone having the flu, so he, too, decided to start a little early shopping of his own. But his reason for doing so wasn’t Christmas, no, he set out to find the ultimate gift for Marlena’s birthday. Unbeknownst to him, he would get some good news and some bad news today.
The good news…
“John!” yelled Hope as she was trying to get JT to take his bottle. “Hey… Hope… what are you two up to?” “Oh, not too much. I was just getting restless at home, and decided to get out and get some fresh air. What are you up to?” she asked.
“I’m shopping for Doc’s birthday present,” he said matter-of-factly. “Oh… it is getting close to that! Gosh how the time slips by.” As John made his reply, he bent down to touch JT’s face, “I know what you mean. Before you know it, all the time has gone.””
John’s remark worried Hope, “Are you ok? I mean, you seem somewhat distant.” He was startled by her question, “Uh? Oh yeah, I’m fine. I’m just a little worried about Marlena, ya know? I want this to be a smooth transition for her.” Hope agreed.
John couldn’t resist any longer. He reached down and scooped up JT in his arms and twirled him around in the air. Hope, John, and JT just laughed and smiled with glee. A passerby noticed JT in his father’s loving hands as he was cradling him, “Oh my! What a loving husband you have, young lady! He is so good to your boy! I know you must be proud.”
John and Hope both tried to interrupt the woman’s innocent remarks, but before they could correct her assumption, she was gone. Hope, a little embarrassed, tried to apologize to John. “Hope,” he interrupted, “there’s no need to apologize. It was an honest mistake. I just thank God that Doc wasn’t here. I’d hate for her to have to witness something like that.” “You think it could cause a problem, even being an innocent mistake?” John eyed her fiercely, “Let’s just say that I don’t want to chance it.”
***
Marlena stopped dead in her tracks when across the way, her eyes focused on her husband… and her. She thought she was prepared for what was to come, but seeing them together, out in public, with the child they created together… everything changed. Her heart began breaking all over again and it made her angry to hurt so badly. And it didn’t help the situation any that she overheard the woman’s comment.
***
“Listen, I really hate to rush off, but I promised Gran I’d come over for lunch today.” “Don’t worry about it. I understand,” John bent down to put JT in his stroller, “you take care of your mother, ya hear?” And he gave his son a kiss and they were on their way.
***
Dark had begun to fall on Salem as Marlena stood on her balcony watching the sunset in the horizon. She stood with her arms crossed, her eyes focused on the distant rays of light, her brows furrowed, and her mind focused on the image of earlier. An image that was forever burned into her memory.
Marlena knew that she couldn’t go on like this. Something had to give. And she felt as though it should not have to be her. Afterall, it was John who asked her to accept something so important… so devastating. But she loved her husband and her family dearly. What would she do? Marlena couldn’t guess how she would react once she finally laid eyes on her husband again.
The bad news…
The door creaked as it slowly opened. John was so quiet coming in that Marlena didn’t even notice until he dropped his keys on the lamp table. She turned around in one swift motion and locked eyes with him. The temperature in the room dropped ten degrees from her piercing gaze. John felt a sudden chill as he saw his breath when he tried to speak. ‘What the…?’ It wasn’t logical to experience such an act.
He was finally able to force the words out of his mouth, “Doc? Is there something wrong?”, he asked with furrowed brows, assuming that he must have had a hallucination. It was not possible for what he just experienced to have really happened. But did it? If it was possible, Marlena was definitely upset enough to create such a mood in the air.
Her eyes gleamed back at him with no life, and almost no emotion. In fact, the only emotion that he sensed from her gray-like eyes was that of absolute sadness and heartbreak. He had only thought he had seen it in her eyes before. He thought that she could not look any sadder than the day he told her about Hope and JT, but he was wrong. Today she looked more hurt than he had ever seen her look.
He tried reaching her through sensitivity first, “Baby… wanna tell me what’s got you looking so down?” Marlena couldn’t hold it in any longer. Her eyes instantly filled with tears. For a brief moment, she even considered making herself a drink to help calm her nerves, but she realized that at this point in her life, no amount of alcohol could take away the pain she was feeling. She was at her lowest.
Marlena appeared to slouch as if she were about to faint. John instinctively put his hand on her shoulder to steady her and again, he felt a chill. Marlena gained her composure and discovered a renewed anger, possibly brought on by John’s touch. It reminded her too much of what she felt she had lost. And now she was ready to give it to him.
“I actually wasn’t planning on being here when you got home, but I thought I’d at least give you the respect of telling you why face to face. I just wanted you to know that I’m leaving. This time for good.”
John’s jaw fell to the floor. His heart stopped beating and his blood stopped flowing. ‘Did she just say what I think she said? Do my ears deceive me? No, this can’t be. We just got back together. I must still be hallucinating.’
“Doc, I don’t understand. Why the sudden change of heart? Is it the fact that I was at the station yesterday? Doc, I promised you that I would not go searching into my past until we both felt comfortable with it. Do you have some reason to believe that untrue? Doc, whatever it is… Baby… come on, you’ve got to talk to me.”
“There is nothing more to say, John. It’s over. I have spent the last several hours standing out here on this balcony contemplating our future, and I realize now that I can’t go on like this anymore. I want out… for good.” Marlena’s words stumped John beyond understanding. “Doc. I… I… Baby, please explain this more to me. I’m not following. I thought all was well with us. You came home to me, and we spent several hours rediscovering and renewing our love to bring us to what? Your leaving again?”
John was utterly confused. His facial expression showed that with his furrowed brow and stiff face. And he had good right to be. Marlena had yet to reveal to him the reason for her distress. But he was about to get his wish.
Marlena turned her attention toward the night as she crossed her arms and held herself tightly as if reassuring herself. Her eyes focused on the night lights of the dark Salem horizon. She stared off into the dark and began to speak. Her words came out with no emotion except for loss, “I went to Salem Place today. And I witnessed something that I thought I would never have to. No one should ever have to. It completely broke my heart, and I’m not sure that there is anything that could be done to heal it. I’m at an utter loss. I feel no emotion left in my heart at this moment.”
John didn’t want to interrupt her progress of opening up to him, but at the same time, he wanted to make sure that she would continue. He didn’t want to touch her in fear that it would cause an outburst, but he felt he needed to add some type of comfort. “Go on.”
Despite her feeling no emotion, tears began to stream down her face, with no notice from her facial muscles, or eyes. There was no movement by her except by her tears and her mouth as she continued, “I saw you with Hope today. More specifically, I witnessed the stranger’s comment to you and Hope.” John’s heart sank and his eyes closed for he now knew what the cause was for her sad state.
She continued, “I know we decided that JT would be raised as your son, and knowing Bo as his stepfather, but… I never imagined that this decision would insist my understanding in witnessing such an act. And it’s not like that will be the last time. No, I fear that the worst is yet to come. So, since I have realized that I can not even deal with an innocent event such as that, I’ve decided to end it.”
“End it?”, he asked in shock. She looked up and starred right through him as if he was not there, “I’m leaving, John. This time for good… I want a divorce.” Her cold words froze his blood flow once again. John felt a wave of sadness overtake him to the point that he only imagined that his heart would give out on him, and that he would die. Divorce was one word that they both never thought they’d ever hear from each other, and now one of them just had.
Page 17 of 76The mood at the Penthouse was a somber one. Brady and Belle had already come home and had dinner with their parents. The usual laughter was now absent. The kids must have sensed that their parents needed some time alone, and thought nothing of leaving them to retire to their own rooms.
Marlena sat on the sofa with her elbows propped on her knees and her hands holding her face. A half empty glass of Scotch sat on the coffee table in front her; red lipstick graced the edge of the gold rimmed glass. John finally spoke, “Thank you… for being here to have dinner with the kids. I know that you had hoped to be gone.” She spoke in such a drained tone, “Yeah, well, I didn’t realize what time it was when you finally got home, and then then Belle and Brady walked in, and I… I… well I was actually planning on being gone a while ago.”
John continued, “I know… but thank you anyway,” and after a brief pause, he began to try to convince her to stay. “Baby, you can’t do this. You can’t walk out on us…” Marlena cut him off before he could finish, “This is my fault now? Don’t turn this around and make me look like the bad guy here. I’m not the one who slept with another person. I’m not the one who has ruined this marriage.” Marlena’s words continued to tear at John’s flesh like a rabid dog.
She jumped up from her seat and rushed upstairs to begin packing. John slowly followed her and entered their bedroom after she had already emptied her vanity. The sight of his wife packing her perfume bottles to go away saddened him. How could such a simple task cause so much hurt?
Don’t think I can’t feel
There’s something wrong
You’ve been the sweetest
Part of my life so long
I look in your eyes,
There’s a distant light
And you and I know
There’ll be a storm tonight
This is getting serious
Are you thinking ’bout you or us
The evening sky had begun to rise allowing only a small amount of light to shine through the french doors. The small bedside lamp let off a soft inviting glow, and the slight rain that had begun to fall should have reminded them of romantic nights at home alone when they would make love to the sound of the storm. But there was no romance tonight, and no amount of light could shed any happiness on their bedroom at that moment.
“Marlena,” he said as he gently placed his hand atop of her hand that rested upon the deep navy blue suitcase. She felt herself jerk on the inside to pull away from him. It must not have worked because when she glanced down, she noticed that John still had possession of her hand. “Please don’t do this. How many different ways to say this do I need to come up with to keep you here?”
The feel of his skin on hers was too much to bare. Marlena managed to free her hand and ran to the balcony to get some fresh air. She hadn’t realized that it had started sprinkling, therefore she only stood in the doorway. The fresh air helped; she had to clear her head before facing him again. “Look, I can’t do this with you here. Can you please just go.” It sounded more of a statement than a plead. “Go? You’re kicking me out of our bedroom?” “You know that your being here is just going to make this harder.” “Oh well then, by all means let me leave so that I may make it easier for you to walk out on me. On us.”
John turned toward the door as if he were going to leave, but instead, he threw up his arms and turned back to face Marlena, “Have you even thought about what you’re doing? Take a step back and tell me what you see. I guarantee you, you have not thought this thing through. You have only been thinking of yourself. It is obvious that you are not thinking about us or our family.”
Don’t say what you’re about to say
Look back before you leave my life
Be sure before you close that door
Before you roll those dice
Baby think twice
“John… I told you. I can’t do this.” “Can’t do what?” a broken hearted John begged. She continued, “I can’t live my life in fear of what I may witness between you and Hope. I know that Hope is Hope now. She is herself now, but John, she was once Princess Gina, or so she thought. And that woman loved you, John. Don’t you realize that I can not bare the thought of her getting her hooks into you again? Into us again? I’m fed up with it.”
“Marlena, you are being ridiculous. Are you going to stand there and what… just sum it all up to jealousy? No. My Marlena, the woman who I love is not jealous. Especially not of Hope!” “Jealous? No, you’re right, I’m not jealous. In fact, jealous is by far not the word that I would ever think of using to describe how I feel about Hope.”
“Ok then, tell me how you do feel about her. I mean, you obviously feel something negative for the woman, or you wouldn’t be doing this. Or maybe I’m wrong. So tell me, Marlena. How do you feel about Hope?” “Well, to be honest… this really has nothing to do with Hope. It has to do with the fact that I’m having a very difficult time dealing with what has happened between us.”
“We have gone on for so long now with the knowledge that nothing, or no one could ever come between us. We were so certain of that. Now look at us. Someone has come between us. We have let what we have believed in for so long be shattered. How do you expect me to feel? I feel like I’ve been lied to by our own relationship. I have always thought that I am a strong and independent woman. I’ve always been able to hold my own in my relationships. But not this time. You are not only my greatest strength, but you are also my greatest weakness,” she paused for a brief moment to make sure to capture his eyes before continuing, “when it comes to you, I am not the same Marlena that everyone thinks they know.”
Baby think twice
For the sake of our love,
For the memory
For the fire and the faith
That was you and me
Babe I know it ain’t easy when
Your soul cries out for higher ground
‘Cos when you’re halfway up,
You’re always halfway down
But baby this is serious
Are you thinking ’bout you or us
The door to their balcony was open, inviting in the cool damp night breeze. John stood leaning against the doorframe staring out into the night. He stood with his hands in the pockets of his khakis, a saddened look marking his face. His insides were so tense he was sure he would pass out at any moment from the severity of the situation. He wanted to do something, anything to make her stay. Taking his hands out of his pockets, he ran his fingers through his unruly hair. As he lowered his hand from his hair, his wedding band grabbed his attention. Without thinking, he began to twirl the ring around his finger. If he hadn’t known better, he would have sworn the gold band was mocking him… reminding him of what he was about to loose.
He was quiet for some time while he watched his wife pack her things. She had given up the fight to make him leave so long that he kept his distance from her. Memories of their time together gushed through his mind like a whirlwind. And looking at his wedding ring wasn’t helping matters much. Memories of a better time when they shared a happy life together. He couldn’t help thinking about all the time that they spent in that bedroom, both before they were back together and after.
He made his way to their bathroom in a trance like state to gaze upon the sight that would flood his mind with more memories. He thought back to the previous night when they shared the jacuzzi together and then shared a night of passion together. But before he could loose himself completely in his thoughts, Marlena practically dropped the suitcase down on the floor from exhaustion, and it startled John out of his trance.
He made his way over to his wife so that he was standing in back of her. “So this is it, huh? After all these years, this is what our relationship has come to?” Without facing him, she replied, “You make it sound like this is something that was decided so casually. If you remember correctly, not so long ago, I told you that I needed all of you. I can’t just live with only half of you.”
Don’t say what you’re about to say
Look back before you leave my life
Be sure before you close that door
Before you roll those dice
Baby think twice
Marlena made her way to their bedroom door with luggage in tow. John knew he should cooperate and not chase after her, so he tried to focus his attention on the open balcony. As she began to pull the door open, it slammed back shut with a force that startled her. She jumped around, dropping her bags in the process, to see John standing over her with nostrils flared. He was not about to let her just walk out of his life without a major struggle.
He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her against the door so that he could attack her lips with his mouth. She struggled to break free from his grip as his mouth made a trail to her neck- her most vulnerable spot. “Don’t do this, John! Let me go!” “You know you want it, Doc. Don’t fight it,” he said as he bit her earlobe. He stepped closer to her, putting his leg between hers to pin her to the door.
He started unbuttoning her shirt as he continued to devour her mouth with his. She continued to struggle to free herself from his hold as she felt her shirt drape down around her shoulders. “John… John get… off of me!” she screamed as she finally got enough leverage with her hands to push his chest away from her. He stood watching her as she tried to pull herself together.
Baby this is serious
Are you thinking ’bout you or us
Don’t say what you’re about to say
Look back before you leave my life
Be sure before you close that door
Before you roll those dice
The realization of what he had just done flooded his mind and he became very angry with himself. Instinctively, he grabbed the nearest object to throw across the room. He had to let go of some of the anger that had overtaken him. But when he rared back to throw the object, he noticed what he had chosen. “Oh, shit.” As if it could not get any worse… In his hand lay a picture of them.
Marlena could not believe what she had just witnessed. Two climactic acts all within seconds of each other. She barely had the strength to stand up after her adrenaline skyrocketed when he pinned her to the door. And now witnessing her husband almost loose total control was too much for her to take. “He would never do such a thing,” she thought referring to the picture in his hand that was about to be broken into pieces. She had to get out of there. “I can’t let him see me break down into tears. If I don’t leave now, I never will. And he has hurt me too bad to stay.”
Hastily, Marlena yanks her bags into the hallway ready to leave. He had already placed the picture of them back down on the dresser, when he saw how upset it made her. He watched as she stumbled out the door with her bags and he felt terrible for not helping her, but he thought he should keep his distance for the moment. All he really wanted to do was run to her and hold her and make all their pain go away, but he understood that she needed her space now. He had no choice but to let her have it even though it was killing him to stand there watching her walk out of his life, out of their bedroom, out of their marriage. Even though the divorce was not final by any means, he felt its authenticity just because she declared that she wanted one. That in itself was enough to crush him.
She turned to look at him one last time before walking out. Her pain stricken eyes caught his as they were beginning to flood with tears. She knew how much he hurt; she hurt, too, but she had to stand for something. She had to do what was right for herself. All the years and history flashed before their eyes like a movie on the big screen as she stood in the doorway peering into him. She saw the tender man that she fell in love with so many years ago peering back into her and her eyes filled with tears, too.
Don’t do what you’re about to do
My everything depends on you
And whatever it takes, I’ll sacrifice
Before you roll those dice
Baby think twice
John silently prayed, “Don’t do what you’re about to do. Please, God, do not let her walk out on me. I can’t bare one night without her, much less the rest of my life. Whatever it takes, I’ll sacrifice.” But without any words spoken, she picked up her suitcase and walked away… leaving him alone to face his misery.
He grabbed the picture again and fell to the floor propping himself against the foot of the bed. He begged out loud to God to forgive him for hurting Marlena like that, while tears streamed down his grief-stricken features. What was becoming of himself, he wondered. “Oh God, you know I would never intentionally cause her any pain!” he exclaimed aloud.
Marlena paused at Belle’s room to peer in on her daughter before she made her way back to the loft. “Oh Belle, my sweet baby girl. There is so much that you don’t know. But for now, just know that Mama loves you,” and she turned and walked to the front door.
John had enough of wallowing in his self pity for the moment. He stumbled into the bathroom to splash water on his face in hopes to wash away some of the pang in his gut. No such luck. And after peering deep into his own reflection, he reached up with his left fist and made a powerful jab at the mirror. His wedding ring made contact with his reflection and the mirror shattered.
At that moment, shock set in as John couldn’t believe what had just happened. To be pushed so far into fear, pain, and angst from Marlena walking out on him… what would become of him now?
Page 18 of 76Marlena came clomping around the corner to find Damon Edwards, her campaign manager, about to walk in to see her. She spoke first, “Oh hi! I’m glad you could come all the way over here.” “It’s no problem.” “Well, I really appreciate it. I had a patient who could only see me later in the afternoon and well… it’s really helpful that you could meet me here.”
Marlena and her manager enter her waiting area and she notices that Cynthia is not there. “Hmmm.” “What’s wrong?” “My secretary. I wonder where she is.” Without a second thought, they both go into Marlena’s office and begin the campaign planning.
Meanwhile, Cynthia had made her way back to her desk in time to answer a call. She buzzed her boss’ phone with a message, but Unbeknowskt to her, Marlena had a guest, “Dr. Evans, your lawyer is on line one. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the divorce papers.”
Marlena was noticeably shaken and upset that Cynthia had announced openly over her speaker phone that she was filing for divorce. Of course she knew that it was an honest mistake, after all, Cynthia didn’t see Damon come in, but it still didn’t change the fact that her guest prematurely found out about the circumstance.
“Thank you, Cynthia, put Mickey through.” Damon politely motioned that he would step out to give her some privacy. She picked up the phone, “Hi, Mickey, thank you for taking care of this so quickly.”
Mickey spoke on the other end of the phone, “Marlena, I need to know your position on yours and John’s material possessions.” “Oh. I hadn’t really thought about it until now.” He continued, “Well, I just need to have an idea of where we stand on this issue.” “Honestly, Mickey, I really don’t care. I would rather just decide tomorrow at the meeting.” “You know I would advise against that, Marlena.” “Yes I understand that, but I would really prefer it this way.”
After her phone call, Marlena buzzed Cynthia to send Damon back into her office. As they were taking their places again, Damon took it upon himself to break the newly formed tension, “Marlena, I am assuming that I was not supposed to hear that. So I’m going to forget that I heard that on a personal note, but Marlena, I’ve gotta tell ya… this turn of events may hinder your chances of becoming Woman of the Century.”
Marlena is the one suffering, and yet she still cared enough to feel as though she had let him down. “Damon, I’m sorry. I should have been open with you about this.” He tried to comfort her, “Well, I’m guessing that this recent come of events is indeed recent. Maybe even fresh in the making?”
Hesitantly, Marlena answered, “Yes. I’m afraid this decision was made just yesterday.” Damon was shocked, “Oh! I’m so sorry. Look, if you need to take a few days for yourself, or whatever, that’s fine…” Marlena wouldn’t have it. She felt that continuing to work would possibly help her get through this more. “Damon, you’re actually the first person outside of John and myself and our lawyers who knows about this. We haven’t said anything because we wanted to get the papers in motion before even telling our children.”
“Look… you know I have to ask this. Is there any chance that the two of you will work this out? Perhaps since you have held off telling your children…” His question obviously struck a nerve because Marlena jumped up out of her chair and crossed the room throwing her arms up in detest, “Why does everyone assume that? I mean, just because we have been in love ever since we met, and just because we have fought to be together longer than the time we actually got to spend together, does not mean that we’re going to get back together!”
Damon didn’t know what to say other than apologize and Marlena quickly responded back, “No, no, no. There’s nothing for you to apologize about. I’m sorry. I should not have flown off the handle like that; I usually don’t react like that.” Before continuing she plopped down on her couch and made herself comfortable, “The truth is… is that you are actually the first person to ask that. It’s just that I know that you are the first of many. Again, I’m sorry that I went off like that.”
“Hush, not another word about it. Tell ya what. You know what you need? You need to get out. Get out of here, and away from work and everything that is weighing you down.” “Work isn’t weighing me down,” she stated matter-of-factly. “Yeah, but I feel that this campaign may be, and I don’t want you to give up on it just yet.”
His statement provoked an interesting thought from Marlena, “Do you think that I still have a chance?” She had assumed that now that her manager knew about the divorce, there would be no other choice than to take her out of the running. “Yes, of course! I’m not going to let this ruin your chances. I mean, sure we’ve got to play our cards right and carefully think out what you say, but I still think you’ve got what it takes. The question is, do you still believe that? And if you don’t, well, I’m going to try and prove it to you.”
Unsure of what his answer would be, she asked, “And how are you going to do that?” “I’m taking you out. Get your things and come on,” he exclaimed as he made his way to the door. “Hey, wait a minute! I can’t just go out with you! If you have forgotten, I am still a married woman, and besides that, I’m still in love with my husband.”
Her tone amused him so. She honestly thought that he was asking her out on a date. She believed for a brief moment that he was using this situation to get close to her – to move in on her while she is the most vulnerable. “Marlena… forgive me if I came off a little too forward there. Um… I’m not asking you out on a personal note. I mean, sure, if the circumstances were different, you might be someone I’d try and pursue. Lord knows you definitely have what it takes to get my attention, but er… that is beside the point. Anyway, I want to take you out professionally. Believe me, Marlena, you can trust that I don’t have some ulterior motive.”
“You must think that I’m full of myself. To assume that you meant that in any way other than professionally, well, I really don’t have that big an ego.” He smiled at her as he said, “It’s ok. I understand how you might feel a little uncomfortable with my forwardness given the current circumstances. Look, you trust me, don’t you? Think of it as a business meeting. After all, this is just another step in working toward getting you elected Woman of the Century. So, let me take you out to dinner. We gotta eat.”
“You’re right. I do trust you, and I do think that it would be good for the campaign…” Damon interrupted, “Uh-oh, I feel a ‘but’ coming on.” “But… I can’t just go straipsing around Salem with another man by my side so quickly after filing for divorce.” “What? You afraid of what people will think? Come on, I won’t believe for a moment that this is who you really are. You can’t convince me that you’re concerned what someone you know would think if they saw us together.”
Marlena replied, “Well, like you said, given the current circumstance, things may be a little confusing for people who don’t know the full story.” “Yeah, but everyone already knows that we have been working together on this and I bet that they would also trust in what we’re doing.” “Ya know… this is silly. I’m being silly. We’re not doing anything wrong. Besides, it’s not even dark yet!” They both laughed at the silliness of the situation as they left her office.
***
“So tell me, since you seem to know so much about my life, why don’t you tell me a little something about your life. After all, it is for the betterment of the campaign that I know, understand, and trust my campaign manager, right?” Her tone seemed a little sneaky, but he agreed to try and oblige her.
“Have you ever been married?” “Yes. I was married for fourteen years.” “Oh my, that is a long time to be married. What happened? Uh… if you don’t mind my asking.” “It’s ok,” and he paused for a moment before continuing, “She died.” “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t pry. I apologize.” “No, it’s alright. It’s still hard, but it’s been long enough now to be able to talk about it a little easier.” “How long has it been?” “Eight years.”
The waiter brought their food and then left them alone with their conversations. After situating her plate and sipping her ice tea, Marlena asked the next obvious question, “Do you have any children?” She could tell that she had touched on a sensitive issue and thought that if he did not reply she would not push the issue.
His attitude turned sad as he answered, “I have a daughter. She’s thirteen.” Marlena felt satisfied that he was able to open up to her, but yet she also felt sad for him and that maybe she should not ask any more questions regarding his child. It surprised her when he continued.
“Mary died when Hanna was five years old. She’s never really had a mother. And she has nothing to do with me. Actually, I think that is more her grandparents doings than Hanna’s. Mary’s parents didn’t think that I was fit to raise a child without their daughter by my side. What they meant was, they didn’t approve of me from the beginning. Sometimes I wonder if Mary didn’t agree to marry me just to spite her parents.”
Marlena offered some comforting words, “I have a feeling that wasn’t the case. Mary sounds like a wonderful lady.” “She was.” “And you don’t strike me as someone who would be a horrible father. Look… I can see that this is hard for you. You know… nevermind.” Damon was curious in what Marlena had to say. Afterall, this was the first woman since Mary that he has been able to open up to and feel comfortable doing so. “Please, say what it is you want to.”
Marlena continued, “I just wanted to offer you my time on a professional basis if you ever need someone just to talk to. Sometimes just having someone to listen to our feelings makes us feel better. But please know, whatever you say to me, even as friends… stays right here,” she commented as she waved her finger back and forth pointing to Damon and herself.
***
“Hello?” the other end of the phone answered. “Hi, sweetie! How are you?” “I’m fine, Mom.” “How is your brother?” “He’s fine, too. We miss you.” “I know, sweet girl. I miss the two of you, too. Don’t ever forget that.” Marlena had stolen a few moments away from eating dinner to check in with Belle and Brady. She didn’t want them to feel as though she was ever far from their lives – and to know that they were never out of her thoughts.
The talked for a few minutes before Marlena finally asked, “Honey… how is your father?” “He seems really sad, Mom. Here he is,” and she motioned for John to take the phone, much to Marlena’s dismay. “Belle, you don’t have to get…” “Sorry, Doc. Wouldn’t have taken the phone if I knew you didn’t want to talk to me.”
Marlena felt uncomfortable as she went on, “It’s alright. Hi.” “Hi. You ok, you sound kind of down.” “Well, I’m not exactly one hundred percent happy, but I’ll manage.” John felt bad for his wife, “I’m sorry. I seem to be the cause of your unhappiness even if we’re not together. Where are you, anyway?”
“Why does that matter?” “It doesn’t. It just sounds like you’re in a really busy place. I just figured you’d be home right now.” “John… I’m not going to apologize for trying to continue on with my life.” John turned defensive at Marlena’s sarcastic tone, “That is not what I meant. I was just making conversation. Do you think this is easy? Do you think that I don’t have so many things to tell you and talk with you about just because you say it’s over? What am I supposed to say to you when you call? I can’t just act as if everything’s fine. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t love you. Not like you’re obviously doing.”
“John, I have to go.” “Doc! No no no! Don’t go. Where are you? I want to come and meet you. I need to see you.” “I’m sorry, John. Now is not a good time.” “Why not?” Hesitantly, she answered, “I’m in the middle of a business dinner with my campaign manager.”
This made John furious with jealousy, “You’re already out with another man?” Marlena knew that his reaction was more from hurt than anything else, but she couldn’t help but become defensive, “I knew you’d react that way. This is not a date, it’s business, John, and if you can’t understand that after what you’ve asked me to accept, then… then…” John pressed for her to go on, “Then what?” “Then you don’t deserve me as your wife!” And then Marlena hung up the phone.
Page 19 of 76John had made a desperate call to Bo to see if they were going to be at home for a while because he had something that he needed to discuss with the both of them. He had made a beeline to their house after the call was made. Now he sat on their couch waiting as Hope brought everyone some tea.
“So tell us, John,” Hope began, “what is it that you need to talk to us about?” “Yeah, man, what’s with the rushing over here?” Bo asked with such confusion. John took a long steady gulp of his tea. He drank it as if it were his life support. John’s appearance wasn’t up to par, and Bo and Hope were beginning to get worried about him.
John was exhausted from the events of the past few days. He clad an unshaven face with blue jeans and an untucked t-shirt, a look that is not usually seen on him. It had only been a full day since Marlena had left him, and his appearance showed it. He sat the glass down on the coffee table in front of him while letting out a sigh of relief before speaking, “I think I may have made a mistake.”
***
Marlena was working in her office when Damon stopped by to drop off an outline of her first speech. “Now look, I know it is not for several weeks away, but I wanted to go ahead and give you this. It is an outline of some topics that I think you should include in your speeches. They’re issues that you’ve mentioned to me in our meetings that are very important to you, and well, as you can see… I took notes,” Damon had such a gleam in his eyes when he spoke to her. Noticing his soft side, Marlena smiled back at him as she stated, “Obviously. Thank you,” and she took the folder from his hand.
Damon fixed himself a drink and made himself comfortable on her couch while Marlena looked over his outline. “This looks really good. My, I hadn’t realized that you were such a good listener, but I see now I am proven wrong.” “Ah, but you make it easy, Dr. Evans.” His comment caught her attention and she quickly looked up at him in surprise.
Damon was oblivious to her taking notice to his earlier comment as he stood up and made his way to Marlena’s side. He reached out his hand to her, “Come. Join me on the couch.” Marlena wasn’t sure what to make of it, but she obliged him anyway and accepted his company on her couch. “We need to talk, Marlena. We need to discuss how we are going to handle your divorce.”
***
Hope burst aloud, “A mistake about what?” John spoke hesitantly, “I think that raising JT to know that I am his father is a bad idea.” The expressions on their faces told their thoughts. ” And before you say anything else, I want you both to know that I am not doing this to try and get Marlena back. In fact… I don’t even want her to know. I don’t want her to think that I have ulterior motives. I’m going to get her back the old fashion way.”
Hope spoke out first, “Back? What do you mean? Has something happened?” It dawned on John that he had been in such a rush to catch them at home, he forgot to mention one important element. “She left again last night. Don’t say anything to anybody just yet, but this time it may be for good. We haven’t even told the kids yet, so please.” “Of course, you have our word,” Hope replied with a calming voice.
Bo demanded an answer, “Ok, then if you’re not doing this to get Marlena back, then tell us the real reason why you’re changing your mind after making it abundantly clear that you wanted to be a part of his life.” “I know that this is coming to you both as a shock. I also know that you probably think that I am not fit to be a part of his life if I can’t even make up my mind! But I’ve been giving it some thought and I really believe that this is the best thing to do… for JT’s sake. I would rather see my son grow up in one household with both of his parents. And if that means that he must know Bo as his father in order to have a stable life, then I think that it is well worth the sacrifice.”
It didn’t take much effort on John’s part to convince Bo to raise JT as his own son, but that’s not to say that the Bradys were not somewhat confused of his change of heart. “Now, Bo… Hope… can I have your word that you will not breathe a word of this to Marlena?” “Of course,” they both agreed. “I want to win Marlena’s heart back the right way.”
***
“I thought you said that my divorce wasn’t going to be a problem.” “I don’t think it is, but we can’t go out on the campaign trail unprepared.” “Oh. I suppose you’re right; I hadn’t really given it much thought since we last discussed it.” Her comment reminded Damon of their dinner the night before, “Speaking of when we last discussed this… how are you? I mean, I remember you coming back from a phone call somewhat upset. Was it with John?”
His words upset Marlena again. She still wasn’t able to talk about her situation, afterall, it was still fresh in the making. And what it even more difficult is the fact that she still loved John. “I’m just fine. And yes, it was with John, but it’s nothing. We just had a little disagreement.”
She was finally able to get his attention off of her and John and back to her speech. Several minutes had past with them hammering away at the task at hand. They worked on her speech so intently that they did not notice the voices coming from her waiting room area until it was too late. Her office door flew open and in stepped John with a bouquet of roses in his hand. He did not expect to walk in on what he saw, and Marlena never thought she’d see him today.
“John!” He had not walked in on anything that Marlena and Damon were doing wrong, but he didn’t stick around for her to explain what he saw. His face wore the emotion that showed his humiliation and crushed heart. And he dropped the flowers on her coffee table in front of her, and walked out slamming the door behind him.
Without hesitation, Marlena was following at her husband’s heels… Damon completely forgotten about. “John, wait!” He stopped and turned to look at her with a cold blank stare. “It’s not what you think, John. Why did you stop by anyway?” “Isn’t it obvious?” referring to the flowers that he dropped on the table for her. Marlena responded back, “Ok, then, I thought you knew that my decision was final?” “Can’t a man try and win his wife’s heart back? I mean, for God’s sake, Marlena! I still love you!”
The room was silent for a moment as Damon stepped into the waiting room where John and Marlena stood staring at each other, “Marlena, I’m going to leave and give you two some privacy.” John’s arrogance got the best of him when he commented, “So you must be my wife’s campaign manager,” and he stuck out his hand, “it’s nice to finally meet the man who has been getting all of her attention lately.” Damon must have felt that he needed to make excuses for Marlena to protect her, “I apologize, I shouldn’t have been here. I had no idea that he was coming to see you.”
But Marlena wasn’t about to let John get away with making them look like the bad guys, “Damon, it’s not your fault, and we weren’t doing anything wrong. Thank you for the notes and I will call you tomorrow.” And Damon left the two of them alone, as Marlena gave John “the look” and stomped into her office.
John demanded, “Wanna tell me what I just walked in on?” “First of all, it’s none of your damn business! And secondly, he is my campaign manager and we were planning my first speech that happens to be in a few more weeks!” “How can you say it is none of my business? You’re still my wife. Does he know about the divorce?” Marlena noticed the roses that John had brought for her as he asked her this. Twelve yellow roses lay abandoned upon her coffee table. “Yes, he does. He overheard my secretary say something yesterday about Mickey’s visit and… well… he wasn’t supposed to find out like that.”
John flew off the handle about that, “What the hell does that mean? What? Are you trying to protect him or something?” “No! I was thinking of my campaign. I wasn’t sure if I would still have a chance at becoming Woman of the Century, and now I’m not even sure that I want to be.” Marlena was starting to feel frustrated over this decision to leave John and it was making her vulnerable.
John noticed her emotional state and tried to react calmly so that not to make her any more upset. It still hurt him to see her in so much pain. “Well what does he think?” “Damon seems to believe that it won’t matter. He is sure that we can turn it around and use it as my advantage.” “As your advantage?” “John… that’s not what I meant. God! What do I mean?”
John tried to comfort her, “Baby, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come down here and… and… this mess would have never have happened, and you would not be upset. I’m sorry.” “Why did you come down here?” “You know why,” he said sweetly as he scooped up the roses and held them out to her. “I can’t accept those, John.” “Look, just please take them. No reason why the flowers have to suffer because our meeting didn’t go right.” Marlena chuckled and took the flowers from him.
“You’re not thinking of throwing in the towel are you?” “I’m not sure that I should be doing this. It’s not fair to drag my family through a divorce while I’m out there trying to win Woman of the Century. It sounds like an oxymoron.” “Well then you know what you have to do… You and I need to work this out.”
Marlena may have felt confused about the campaign, but she knew what she was doing when it came to their relationship. John had been with another woman, plain and simple, and she didn’t feel as though it was her place to carry that burden. “John, I haven’t changed my mind about us,” and she turned her back to him to hide her pain.
John was too tired to fight with her. The end of the second day without her was approaching and he was wore out from lack of sleep and the pain that it was causing him. “It just seems so final, ya know? I never thought that we would ever come to this,” and he began to break down, “I’m just having a hard dealing with the knowledge that in a short while, I will only see you because of our children. And speaking of our children… have you spoken to your daughter today? She seemed a little down this morning.”
Marlena was offended by his question, “What are you trying to imply? Do you think that I’m not doing my job as a mother?” “No, no, I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to imply that. I know that you’re a good mother… no, you’re the best.” “Actually, I have spoken to her several times since I left. I would never abandon her without an explanation, but in answer to your silent question… no, I have not mentioned anything about the divorce to Belle or Brady yet.”
John was relieved that she still hadn’t told their children. It gave him hope that he could convince her to forget about the whole thing and come back home with him. But John was getting anxious about leaving and it was beginning to show. He stepped closer to her making her a little uneasy, “Doc…,” he began and stumbled over his words, “you… I haven’t a clue what to say to you. I came here, hell… you know why I came here.” “Yes, I do, John and I told you… it’s not going to change my mind.”
“Come on, Marlena. I can’t believe that you are willing to throw all that we have away,” he said to her as he softly slid his hand on her cheek. His touch felt good to her, which may have been why she slightly stepped back, letting him know that she didn’t approve. He made a small gesture with his hand that he didn’t understand her actions, “You are still my wife. It’s hard to accept that I can no longer touch you. Can you honestly tell me that it does not affect you at all?”
Marlena didn’t have to think very hard about his question, but she did need to carefully consider her answer. She did still love John, that has never changed, and she knew that it never would. However whether or not she still loved him wasn’t the issue. Marlena needed to figure out how to deal with what John has done, and in her heart, he has shattered their trust and love.
“I’d be lying if I told you that it doesn’t affect me, of course it does. This is the rest of my life we’re talking about here, too, ya know. Don’t make it out to be easy for me. It hasn’t been easy for me since you told me the truth about you and Hope.” John tried to comfort her and reached for her face again, “Baby, I understand what you’re going through…”
With tears in her eyes, Marlena interrupted him, “Do you? Do you have any idea of what it is like to lie in bed alone at night wonder what has become of our marriage? To know that your spouse not only broke your wedding vows, but did so on your honeymoon? The thought of you being with another woman is killing me!” “Marlena, do you not think for a minute that I have never had thoughts like that of you? All those years that you lived with Roman, when you chose him over me, do you not believe that it was hell on me? And especially when you were with him carrying my child!” He made Marlena jump when he yelled ‘carrying my child’ with such passion.
“John that is not the same thing!” she fired back. Their pleasant conversation had suddenly turned to the usual fight. “Damn it, Doc, we’re doing it again. I said I wouldn’t argue with you anymore.” The longer they stood there and argued, the more worn out she felt. “Look, I’m really tired, I want to go home.” Without thinking, John instinctively said, “I’ll drive you.” Marlena grabbed her purse and stared at him unsure of how to tell him in a nice way that she wasn’t going home with him. “John… I meant that I want to go home to the loft. I’ll see you the day after tomorrow at Mickey’s office.”
Page 20 of 76Belle came down the stairs dressed and ready to go to school when she saw her brother, “Penny for your thoughts, big brother.” “Just a penny? Belle, you know my thoughts are worth at least a nickle.” “Ha ha ha. Seriously, how are you?”
Brady had been standing on the balcony when Belle had come in and made his way over to sit down with her. “Oh, you know me. I’ll be fine. The question is, how are you?” Belle had been avoiding the subject around her friends, but Brady knew that that she needed to talk. And luckily, they always felt comfortable talking with each other.
“Why do you think that Mom left again? I thought things were going so great. What happened, Brady?” He couldn’t help but notice her childlike fear that she wasn’t able to hide. “I don’t know.” “Do you think that they will get a divorce?” “Why? Have you overheard something?”
Belle tried to remain calm, but she was scared, “No, I haven’t. It’s just that sometimes that is the next step. She left once and came back only to leave again. I can only assume that this time it may be for good.” “Don’t get all worked up just yet. Nothing’s been said so far.”
***
John had gotten up early, not because he needed to get an early start, but because he was already awake. He couldn’t get the thought of Marlena leaving him out of his head. So he decided take a jog in hopes that it would get some of the hurt out. It didn’t. In fact, it only made him even more desperate to hold on to her memory. John made his way through the grounds of Salem Place, which wasn’t too difficult considering that he was one of the few people out that early.
As he was running, he found himself being pulled in one direction. Before he realized it, he was standing outside Salem Place’s baby store. He peered into the dark store and then back at the reflection of himself in the glass, “How did everything go so wrong? Things could have been so different… JT should have been our son.”
Things would be different if he were John and Marlena’s child. For one thing, John would not have been standing there trying to muster the courage to let her walk out of his life forever. “I just thank God that he allowed Belle to be my daughter. Next to your love, Doc, that is the greatest gift I could have received. I just wish I had not missed out on so much of your pregnancy. It just isn’t fair.”
John had stopped off at a convinence store to get some coffee on the way back to the Penthouse. It must have been fate, because he went out of his way to get that coffee. A route that took him near his loft. Thoughts of happier times, and a normal life ran through his mind. A time when he and his wife shared all of their hopes and dreams. He drifted back to a time when all he thought about was telling her that he still loved her, and what it would feel like to marry her and have more children with her. He pondered bringing breakfast to Marlena, but he talked himself out of it. “That is one dream that you’ll have to get over, Black.”
***
Brady brought his sister a bowl of her favorite ice cream, “Here, maybe this will help.” “I can’t help it, Brady. I don’t like thinking about Mom leaving for good, but it could happen.” As she finished her sentence the door to the Penthouse opened and in stepped their father. His morning run exhausted him since he had barely slept the night before, but he knew he had to stay positive for the kids.
They talked for a few minutes before Belle had to leave for school, reassuring her that everything would work out. After she left, he turned his attention toward his son. “How are you?” John asked. Brady just shrugged his shoulders. “Look, son, I know that you and I aren’t on the best of terms right now, but…” Before he could finish, Brady interrupted, “Dad… I’m really not in the mood to fight with you right now. I just want you to know that I’ve enrolled in Salem University. I start next spring.”
John was estatic. He was thrilled to hear the news. “I decided I couldn’t just sit around here all the time worrying over Marl… Mom…” John added, “What you mean is, is that you don’t want to spend any more time with me than you have to, right?” Brady snapped back, “No! I mean I want to put my free time to better use, that’s all. I moved back in here once Marlena came home, thinking that we could get back to normal, but maybe I was wrong.” John tried avoiding the obvious reaction to argue with him and instead changed the subject, “Have you told your mother yet?” “I’m going to see her at work right now.”
***
“Come in!” yelled Marlena from the inside of her office. It was Brady coming to see her and tell her the good news. “I wanted to stop by and tell you that I’ve enrolled in Salem U, and that I’ll be starting in the spring.” “Wow! That’s wonderful, Brady! I’m so happy for you.” Brady was looking somewhat down and Marlena must have picked up on that because she asked him to sit and stay for a while. “Are you sure it’s ok,” he asked. “Of course. I always have time for my children… even at work.”
She fixed him a glass of water and then joined him on her couch. “Thank you.” “Are you ok? No, wait, don’t answer that. Answer this instead, how are you and your father getting along?” “We were civil to each other this morning. More because I didn’t feel like arguing with him, so I told him that I enrolled and then left to come here.” “Did he say anything to upset you?” “No, it was nothing like that. Like I said, I really wasn’t around him long enough for the conversation to turn ugly.”
“Wasn’t around him long enough? Where was he?” “He got up early and went for a run. He looked pretty rough when he came in. Doesn’t look like he’s had much sleep.” Marlena couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for John and she could sense that Brady wasn’t too concerned about his own father. However, he was concerned about his mother, “Marlena, do you think that you and Dad will work this out?”
Marlena didn’t want to discuss their divorce situation without John being with her. In fact, they hadn’t even thought about telling the kids what was going on. John was too heartbroken himself, and dealing with it himself to even consider putting his children through it, at least until the papers had been signed and the process put into motion. And Marlena must have felt, on some subconscience level, that it wouldn’t really happen and that telling the kids would only confuse them.
So, she avoided the subject, “Have you decided what you are going to major in at college? I mean, are you still going to stay with your business major?” Brady noticed that she dodged his question and obliged her… for now, “Yeah. I’d like to get my Bachelor’s Degree in that area. Whether it will be more financial, or managerial, or in business transportation, I haven’t decided yet.” “Well I just think that’s great! I’m proud of you, son.” “Don’t get too excited yet, I haven’t even started.” “Yes, but I have no doubt that you’ll be fine. You’ve always done well in school,” she reassured.
There was a silent pause that made Marlena a little uneasy. Brady didn’t seem as though he was in a very talkative mood, and she knew that it usually meant he was upset about something. “Penny for your thoughts? Brady… what else is bothering you?” She knew that his relationship with John wasn’t in the greatest of shapes these days, and it was obvious that her being absent from the Penthouse, now twice, was wearing on everyone’s emotions. But still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more adding to his sadness. He snickered at her question, “Belle asked me the same thing this morning, only I told her it would cost a nickle.” “Well, I’d pay whatever cost to help you.”
She tried to reassure him and she placed a supportive hand on his shoulder, “Look, I’m not going to force you to talk to me. When you’re ready, just know that I’ll be here for you.” She got up and refilled her glass of ice water. Her small refrigerator caught the corner of her eye. She walked over to it, and pulled from it a can of Mt. Dew. It was Brady’s favorite drink and she always kept his and Belle’s favorites for when they came to visit her.
She poked the can from behind is left shoulder, “Here ya go. Maybe this will help ya feel better. Even for just a little while.” A sparkle leaped from his eye when he took the can and looked up at her, “Thanks.” She always did know how to reach him, whether he liked it, or not. He felt somewhat guilty for his distant behavior, “Marlena, I’m sorry for being so quiet. I don’t want to bring you down by you worrying over me.” “Brady, that will never bring me down. I treat you like my very own son because I love you like my own. Being concerned for your happiness is as natural to me as it is for me to worry about Belle, or Sami, or Eric.”
She let what she said sink in for a moment before continuing, “You really look as if you need to get something off your chest. If you feel like talking, I’ve got time.” “There is something that’s bothering me. I just don’t know how to say it. I don’t know how to put what I’m feeling into words. I’m not good at that like you are.” Marlena chuckled at his innocent comment, “Not many people are comfortable doing it, either. And that is always the first step. Besides, I am trained to be able to put feelings into a coherent meaning, but then again, I don’t always know what to say when it comes to my own feelings.”
“I see why you are so good at what you do… I mean why so many people trust you. You’re really easy to talk to. And you’ve always been that way with me. You never had to be, but you were. That’s why I’m here talking to you now, because I know you’ll listen and care.”
He paused for a few minutes to find the extra courage he needed to continue. “I guess what’s bothering me is the thought of having a relationship. I really like this girl I know alot…” Marlena interrupted, “But you feel some sort of apprehension.” “I’m just scared to get involved with anyone. I mean, look at what it’s done to you and Dad!”
It took almost an hour, but she finally got the point across to Brady that not all love turns out to be bad. And she did not believe that her and John’s love was bad, just that she couldn’t deal with the situation. In fact, she admitted to Brady that she felt her unhappiness was more her own fault. She couldn’t get past the pain and she felt as though it made her weak. She didn’t want Brady to think that love was wrong. “What your father and I share is not wrong. Never was, never will be. Even though our love may have hurt alot of people, true love, love with your soul mate is anything but wrong.”
Brady couldn’t hold back any longer. He needed to ask the question that was burning a whole in his heart, “Then why can’t you work things out with Dad? You say you still love him. Does this mean that you two will get back together? And this time for good?”
Page 21 of 76The nine to five work day was over and everyone had left their workplaces and headed home. But it wasn’t so much of a happy occasion for Marlena, which is why she decided to stay at her office and work late. Going home to an empty loft was something that would be difficult for her to get used to. The thought of her fixing dinner for herself was not appealing either. Usually, by the time she got home in the evening, John had already prepared dinner for her and the kids. It was such a sweet sentiment for him to do for her. She and John decided long ago that paying someone to do the cooking and cleaning was fine, but they felt they could use that time to bond as a family while sharing those duties. And it had brought them closer as a real family. And now being without her husband or her children was bringing her down, so much that she didn’t want to have to fix dinner for one, ‘I think I’ll stop by the chinese restaurant for dinner.’
John was feeling down, too. He was at home in their bedroom wondering what his wife was doing at that same moment. The kids had been fed and Belle was at Mimi’s studying for an exam, and Brady was in his room talking on the phone with a girl that he liked. That left John all alone with his thoughts, or his sorrows to be more specific. He walked over to the french doors and opened them to let in the cool evening breeze. The mesmerizing sound of the cars and the city numbed him. John thought back to a time when he and Marlena would sneak off to their bedroom while Belle washed the dishes, to take long relaxing baths together. Now he stood overlooking the city and Salem University Hospital in the distance and wondered if his wife had eaten dinner yet.
When all our tears have reached the sea
A part of you will live in me
Way down inside my heart
The days keep coming without fail
A new wind’s gonna find your sail
That’s where your journey starts
Marlena was gathering her things getting ready to go home, and while she was filing some papers in her desk drawer, she almost knocked a picture frame over. She caught it with her gentle hands and made herself comfortable in her leather chair, as she lightly touched the glass. She brought the frame, which contained their wedding picture, up to her chest to hold onto it as if it were her life support as she said, “Oh my love.” She felt sorry for him that they had allowed their relationship to come to such an abrupt end.
The moonlight gleamed through their bedroom window and caught the edge of an object and bolted back to hit John’s eye. Their wedding picture stood tall on John’s bedside table. He walked over to it and picked it up. He then nestled down on the floor beside their bed as he gently stroked the face of his wife as it lay still under the glass of the frame. He spoke aloud to her imagine in the picture, “I can’t let you go. I can’t do what you ask and allow you to walk out of my life.”
You’ll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as a river runs
Warm as the morning sun
Please remember me
Staying there only reminded him of her. John had to get out of the Penthouse for some fresh air. He made his way down to the pier. It was a place that he always felt at peace and where he could get away from the busy thoughts and worries of life. Of course the one thought that he could not escape was always just around the corner. Her.
Marlena drove home, dropped off her stuff, and then took a walk down to the pier. She wasn’t really hungry even after a busy day. The only hunger that drove her was the need to find peace. Something that both John and Marlena had set out to do that night. Unbeknownst to either of them, peace would not come so easily that night.
Just like the waves down by the shore
We’re gonna keep on coming back for more
‘Cause we don’t ever want to stop
Out in this brave new world you seek
Oh the valleys and the peaks
And I can see you on the top
“Oh, Doc,” he began speaking to the water, “what will it take to bring you back to me?” From behind some cargo boxes, his voice drifted around to find its way to her ears. “John?” Her voice startled him, “Marlena? Where are you?” She made her way over to where he was standing. Just like many years before, she appeared from out of the fog. He thought he was dreaming. “Marlena,” he began as he rushed to her side, “what are you doing out here? It’s freezing! And you shouldn’t be down here alone.”
Her first reaction was to run home and leave him standing there alone, but she decided against it. For a reason that she couldn’t put her finger on, she felt compelled to stay and participate in whatever came about between them. Marlena stepped forward near the edge of the pier, “I came down here to get some fresh air. I’ve had a long day.” John hung his head low as he stood behind her. He couldn’t help but hurt all over at the mere thought of her being unhappy. “Doc, have you had dinner yet?” “Um no, I’m not hungry,” she said as she rubbed her hands up and down her arms to create warmth.
You’ll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as a river runs
Warm as the morning sun
Please remember me
Her silence deafened him and he attempted a more subjective topic to ensure a conversation, he asked, “Did Brady come to see you?” “Uh, yes, he did. We had a nice talk.” “Mind if I ask what it was about?” She was a little hesitant about answering, but she felt there was no harm in doing so, “Well, he mentioned that he was interested in this girl… it’s the first I’ve heard of it… and he is a little scared. He’s now afraid that if he falls in love, it will not be forever.” John realized what that meant, “Because he sees what has happened to us.” He paused a minute and then asked, “What has happened to us?”
Marlena thought hard before answering him, “I don’t know. But I told Brady that our love was not wrong, and then he didn’t understand why we couldn’t work this out.” None of them could figure that one out. John knew he screwed up by lying to his wife about Hope for months, and the kids just knew that their mother was no longer living at home, and Marlena knew only that she was deceived by her husband, so a solution to their problem was not going to come so easily.
Remember me when you’re out walking
When snow falls high outside your door
Late at night when you’re not sleeping
And moonlight falls across your floor
When I can’t hurt you anymore
John noticed the little gesture of her bringing her tight, white-knuckled fists to her chest. He placed a hand on her shoulder to offer his support and to influence her to turn around so that he could look into her eyes. “You’re afraid of something, Doc. What is it that you’re running from?”
She was knocked off guard, ‘He can read me so well. I can’t allow him to think I’m scared, or I may fall into his arms.’ “Doc? You gonna tell me what’s got you so worked up?” “Uh… it’s Brady. I’m just worried about him. It is going to so important for us to be sure that, over the next little while, we give the kids all the attention they need.” She was avoiding telling him the truth, and he knew it.
His wish came true as she began speaking from her heart and revealing a little about what she was feeling. “I’m soo afraid… that this is all going to blow up in our faces. I’m scared to death that I’m not doing the right thing. All those years… all those years that I had to deny my feelings for you… for the sake of someone else and not hurting you. I can’t believe that I actually endured that only to be standing on this pier… looking out over the water and wondering. Wondering if you’ll find someone else after me and what she will be like… will the kids like her. Wondering will you think of me when you’re out… or when you’re home… at night. Will your thoughts be of me… or…”
Her childlike innocence did not go unnoticed. John could not stand to hear his wife say such things, but he knew, he knew that her hurt was brought on by his actions. “Call me crazy, but I haven’t given up on us yet. I know, I know what is ahead of us tomorrow, but I choose to have faith that we’ve still got alot of good years left in us… together. Besides, no one could fill your shoes, you know that.” “This may have been my decision… but it doesn’t make it hurt any less,” she reminded.
You’ll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as a river runs
Warm as the morning sun
Please remember me
They stood on the edge of that pier together for what seemed like an eternity. Even during the bad times, such as these, they were able to shut out the world around them. All that took place outside of them did not exist, and for a brief moment, even their own problems didn’t exist. John almost ruined the moment by trying to cheer her up, “Ya know… if there is anyone who should be scared of being replaced, it’s me!” he joked.
But his comment was all too real. And hit a little too close to home. “You know, John, sometimes I wonder if it was all worth it… to go through the hell that Kristen and Stefano put us through just to be here ending it ourselves. Then again… if it wasn’t worth it… then why did we love so strongly? And so right.” Was she having doubts about going through with the divorce? If she was, there was no way of knowing because before he could enjoy anymore time alone with her, she bolted. “I’ve got to go. Goodnight, John.” And there he stood alone… thinking to himself…
Please remember me
Page 22 of 76There they sat, across from each other rather than side by side like all the times they ate dinner at the Chinese restaurant in Salem. Salem. The place where they met and fell in love and lived many happy years together before “the real Roman” came back. It was then that their love story took a turn. A turn that showed it was obvious they were meant to be together. Even her love of another man and John’s love of his deceased wife could not separate these two. The affair. Ah yes, the times they had to steal a second away from Father Time so that they could glance at each other in public and give the look that the other knew was “I want you, but I can’t have you.” Those were bittersweet days compared to now.
No, now they sat in a cold brown room at a long shiny table made of Mahogany that could intimate God himself, and sign “the papers.” It was Marlena’s decision. And who could blame her? Was it not enough that her husband slept with another woman and got her pregnant, no, there’s more to why she was so confused and upset. She was heartbroken that he lied to her. That’s right. Her John Black lied to her. Heartbroken was putting it lightly. She felt like she had just lost her best friend.
She couldn’t help but notice his appearance. His once sparkling blue eyes were overshadowed by the dark circles that lay underneath them. An obvious sign that sleep was a stranger to him as much as it was to her. His short black hair lay in a disheveled mess on his head… the use of a comb an afterthought. His normal three-button suit was replaced by khaki slacks, a shirt, and a tie. As usual, the tie was crooked, and she found herself fighting off the urge to reach across the table and straighten it… “Old habits die hard I guess,” she thought to herself as she lay her eyes upon him.
They sat at that table listening to their respective lawyers discuss what the future would hold. This was just a formality. No arguing between the lawyers was allowed as this was the day that John was served with divorce papers, and they would discuss proper placement of their possessions.
Regretfully, he began signing away. Signing away his life he felt. And he wondered why her signature wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Nowhere did he see “Dr. Marlena Evans Black” in her neat handwriting gracing the lines. He always admired her handwriting; it was very feminine yet it screamed sophistication and strength. Today, that is something he lacked. How could he be strong and hold himself together while signing their divorce papers when she was his strength?
He placed the pen down on the shiny table with a sigh, and looked up at his wife. “All done,” he said with hesitation and sadness, “your turn.” She gave the appearance of a confident woman, a woman who knew what she wanted and was about to get it. He admired how even at her worst, she continued to look her best. Her sleek business like attire demanded attention from only the most sophisticated of people. Her confident composure was stern and intimidating, yet warm and comforting. She wasn’t a threat to the women around her. In fact, most women and men whom she came into contact with considered her a dear friend and colleague. John knew he was lucky to have her fullest attention for so long. And now he knew he blew it.
She placed her graceful hand on top of the packet of papers and slid it across to her side of the table. She started flipping through the packet as if she was proofreading a book. John realized she was stalling by pretending to care to take notice that all pages were signed in their proper places. He felt his heart break even more. But there was nothing more he could do. Why she was stalling now was beyond him. He’d given her many chances to work it out and to continue to make a life for one another, but she refused. Could she be having a change of heart? He only hoped.
Marlena Black uncapped her sleek black felt-tip pen to sign her name next to her husband’s name, where he had assumed the ink was already dry from her having signed the papers. Still hoping that by her having not signed the papers yet meant that she was having second thoughts, John watched Marlena’s every move with fierceness. She slowly brought the pen just above the documents as she hesitated slightly before placing it down and commencing her signature. The soft sound of the pen touching the paper pounded in John’s ears as he watched her.
Marlena could barely continue her signature on the first page when she realized that “Black” would be the next word she would write. And she didn’t even bother using her prefix, Dr., because for the first time ever, it seemed insignificant to her to be used on such an important document as this. Watching her as if his next breath depended on it, he noticed this small incident. And in a way, it made his heart crush just a little bit more.
Marlena stopped after spelling out her new last name on the first line. “Black.” She lifted the pen still staring at her name and began to turn the next page with hesitation. Suddenly, she let the documents’ page fall back down to its resting place and she let her shoulders rest as if she had just raced a marathon. John quickly locked eyes with her, hoping and praying for a split second that his dreams would come true.
“I… I can’t,” Marlena stated as she quickly got up from her chair and left the room. The two lawyers stood up with confusion as they silently wondered who should go after her. Before any of them could answer John was hot on her heels. For that is what John Black always did when his lovely Marlena was in distress. He found Marlena down the long hallway standing near a corner looking out the window that overlooked the city of Salem. From a distance she saw what she thought was her penthouse. Their home and that was where she wanted to be. She would call her lawyer later; right now she just needed to be home.
She felt the slight touch of John’s warmth as his hand gently grasped the back of her arm and begged for her to turn around. She did, only with a step back for she didn’t want to do what she felt she needed to… fall right into his arms. There was still so much to be said and so much to be worked out, but she just couldn’t go through with signing the papers. That, she felt, was the first step to rebuilding her future, their future.
“Doc,” he said, trying to conjure up something more than his nickname for her, but unable to, he just shrugged his shoulders and displayed a look of heartache. Marlena also tried to produce a coherent sentence to her husband about what just happened in that room, but failed. All she could find the strength to do was stop fighting it and allow herself to fall into his arms. She needed to hold him and to let him hold her.
After a few moments of their intense embrace, Marlena decided she owed John an explanation. And in a childlike voice, Marlena asked, “Can we talk?” A smile slowly formed on John’s face and the sunlight from the window hit his eyes and made them sparkle with happiness if just for a moment. “Sure. Let’s go somewhere more private…” Marlena cut him off and added her own thoughts, “…and more relaxing. This place gives me the creeps.” “Would you like to go,” and with a slight pause he finished, “home?” And like John previously, the smile that he loves oh so much crept across her face at his suggestion as she took his hand in hers.
***
Marlena had made the request for them to go to the loft to talk. She was ready to begin rebuilding their relationship, but she wanted to take it one step at a time. She felt that rushing into something would just cause more trouble, and that was the last thing she wanted to do.
Marlena handed John his cup of coffee and she made her place next to him on the couch. “John… I know you’re confused right now. I’m confused right now. All I know to tell you is this… I don’t know what I want. I just know that I do not want a divorce from you, from us.”
Even though John had hoped to hear so much more from her, he was satisfied with her comment. At least he had a chance at a possible future with her again. She continued, “I think that I should still remain here, at least for a little while.” “Well, to say I’m not disappointed would be untrue, but I can respect that. At least you’re not totally ruling out a future together like it would have been if we had gone on with the divorce.”
“I love you, John. I just need to learn to accept what has happened. But I feel as though, for the first time since I’ve known the truth… I feel confident that I can. And I realize that there may have been a part of me that did not want to try, but I think that has changed.”
It was evident that John was at a loss for words, “Doc… I… what… where… how do we do this?” She peered over at him with the most sweet and sincere childlike eyes and replied, “I don’t know… We take it one step at a time. I do know that I am not going to be able to do this by myself. I’m going to need your help, Honey, but we’ll get through it. I promise you that.” “Of course, you know I’ll be there bugging the crap out of you every chance I get.”
“I’m serious, John. Please don’t think that this is some kind of test of your love, because it’s not. I really need your help, patience, and understanding. It may be a while before I can learn to live with this, but you have my promise that I am going to try. Try with my whole heart.”
John asked the obvious question, “What do you suppose we tell the children?” “Well… First of all, I think that we have to understand that they may not accept my moving out for the second time as easily as they did when I left a few weeks ago. We have to be prepared for them to lash out at us… or me… to be more specific.” John was concerned, “Should I worry about that right now?” “Just be aware of the possibility and we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” Her words must have put his mind at ease because John then added with a wink, “I plan on crossing alot more bridges with you.”
Marlena noticed after a few minutes of silence that John was somewhat anxious about something. “John… there is something else bothering you. What is it?” He didn’t want to answer her question because he wasn’t sure how she would react. But he knew that she would not allow him to leave without first telling her what was on his mind.
“Doc… I know that we have just come through a rough time, and I also know that we’re not completely out of the woods yet, but… I… I’m just going to say it. I want to do things to win back your heart. I want to call you at work and ask you out for dinner. I want to surprise you at work with flowers. I still want to surprise you with jewelry and the like. More specifically, I want to be able to treat you like my wife.”
His innocence amused Marlena, “John, I think you may be reading too much into this. Yes, I walked out on you a few nights ago, and yes, I was wanting a divorce. I don’t really want that, and I’m shocked that I allowed myself to actually think that I would even try to go through with it. I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am about that.”
Marlena paused for a few moments as if she were gathering her thoughts. John took notice that there was something else she needed to say and he waited with excitement until she began speaking again. “If you’re wondering if I still love you, the answer is I do. I never stopped loving you, not through this whole mess have I once stopped loving you. It should be obvious to you by now that I want to work this out. You are who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just have to figure out how to learn to live with the knowledge of what has happened. Once I do that, we’re home free. Oh! And you have my permission to do all of those things you mentioned that you want to do for me.”
John stood up from his place on the couch and reached out for her hands to urge her to join him. He looked into her eyes and said, “Good, because not even an army could make me stop showering you with affection. I promise… I’ll remind you why we got married in the first place. Because we’ve loved each other for far too many years not to stay together forever. I love you so much, Marlena. Always have,” and he winked and continued, “always will.” Marlena smiled back at him, “I love you so much, John.” And they hugged.
As John began to drop his arms from her waist, she quickly added, “And one more thing… if you don’t treat me like your wife then… Then I will be disappointed.” “Well, in that case…” John said as he reached his hands up to her face and with the lightest, sweetest touch ever, he gently pulled her face to his and kissed her lips.
After John rediscovered his wife’s mouth with all the passion either of them have ever experienced, he commented, “Ya know… this D-Day didn’t turn out half bad. We went from almost officially filing for divorce to rededicating our lives to each other. I say we’ve done a good job.” And Marlena commented, “I agree. I think it takes alot to stay together. And ultimately I want to do just that. In a way, this has turned out to be our special day.”
Page 23 of 76John had gotten up early to bring Marlena breakfast. He said that he wanted to be sure that she was still eating healthy, but the truth was that it was killing him not to be with her. This marked the first day of them rebuilding their lives together and he wanted to start it off in a positive way. And, too, it being a Saturday, he didn’t really want to spend it without Marlena.
After breakfast they were standing near the window of the loft when all of a sudden a water pipe that ran across the outside of the wall where they stood busted. Water began gushing throughout the loft instantly. As soon as John could react, he grabbed his wife and fell against the back of the couch where he shielded her from the force of the water.
Once the threat of the situation was assessed, they broke out in laughter. With every passing second, they became more and more drenched until they were totally soaking wet. John realized that they weren’t going to get out of the way of the water without getting drenched, so he stepped in close to Marlena, wrapped his arm around her, and dipped her for a kiss all the while laughing at the silliness of the situation.
Finally a few exhausting hours later, the water had been shut off and the loft inspected. There was so much damage done to the pipes that the water wouldn’t be able to be turned on until the pipes were fixed. “Well, Doc… looks like you’re not gonna be able to stay here…” She knew what he was getting at and decided to stop him before it was too late, “Nooo… I know what you’re up to, John Black. And I’ve already called and reserved a room at the Salem Inn.” He knew he couldn’t talk her out of it, so he gave her a smirky look and let her enjoy her winning this time. “At least let me take you to dinner and then… I can see that you get settled in.”
***
“Thank you,” Marlena said to the waitress as she served their food. Then she turned her attention to John, “And thank you for taking me to dinner.” “Hey, it’s the least I can do since those pipes busted. I should have had that place better checked out before you moved in.” “John, it’s ok. It could have happened at any time, there was no way to know.” “Yeah, but I still should have taken better care of you.”
A few minutes passed while they began eating. The silence was growing too loud for John. He couldn’t chance loosing her attention, so he started up the conversation again, “So, Doc, have you given any more thought to our trip to Paris?” “Oh, I meant to tell you! You’ll never guess where they’re wanting to send me for my campaign!” “Who’s they? And where?” “Well, they as in Titan Publishing. Victor is funding this whole campaign as part of my agreement to join the board and run for the position. Well, most of my campaigning will be done right here in Salem, but they’re wanting to send me to three other major cities.”
She spoke with such excitement, John hung on her every word as he listened for maybe a hint that she would say that she needed him to be with her during this important part in her life. He felt it was imperative for her to include him in this campaign or he might loose her forever. She was always an independent woman, but there was a time when they shared everything with each other, and he wanted to get back to that time.
She had paused long enough, and he couldn’t wait any longer for her to continue, “Well… where are these three places that they want to send you?” “New York, Miami… and Paris.” He couldn’t believe it, “Paris?” “Yup! Isn’t that great!” She noticed that he had suddenly become somewhat quiet, “Was it something I said?” “It’s just that you didn’t really answer my question. What does this have to do with our family trip that we have had planned for a while now?”
“Oh… I see. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume… John, I meant that my campaigning won’t interfere with our plans. I’ll be able to give a speech while we’re over there together. At first, I was afraid that it would mess up our trip, but Damon was able to fix it to where I could give the speech while on vacation. Actually, we’ll probably leave a day or two early.”
John’s worries were put to ease by her explanation, but having to hear his name again didn’t help his sudden change of moods. “Then you still want to go. That’s great.” “Something’s wrong. What is it?” “Nothing’s wrong.” “John… don’t do this. Just tell me what’s wrong. What distracted you just then?” and then it hit her, “Oh. I get it. You think that I’ll be spending all of my time with Damon, is that it?”
His silence gave her an affirmative answer, and she replied with a whisper, “John, you don’t have to be jealous of him. He’s just helping me with this campaign. Someone had to do it.” “Yeah well, it doesn’t help the fact that he’s a tall dark and handsome man.” She snapped back, “I’m sorry. I hadn’t really thought of him like that.”
John didn’t buy it, “Is that why you went out to dinner with him a whole day after you walked out on me?” “It was business. And it wasn’t even dark outside! Look, I’m not going to argue with you about this.” “I’m sorry. This isn’t exactly how I planned to start over with our relationship. I have no right to say anything about… Damon,” he could barely get his name out without choking, “Who you work with is your call. I trust you.”
Marlena could sense that it did indeed bother John, but she wasn’t sure if it was Damon, or the fact that her manager was a man. “Thank you. Rest assured, you have every reason to trust me. I’m not going to do anything that will jeopardize our marriage.” “You mean like I did? Sorry, another cheap shot. I’m just full of them today.” She had to change the subject before their conversation got out of hand, “Look, let’s just focus on our dinner and enjoying our time together. I’ve got plenty of time to prove to you that I’m serious about trying to work things out.” He agreed, “And I need to stay focused on doing the same.”
***
John was about to say goodnight and leave her room when he suddenly remembered that there was something very important he needed to tell her. “Um, Doc… you gotta minute?” She could feel that something was wrong, “Sure, honey, what is it?” He gently took her by the arms, “I think we’d better sit down for this.”
The tone in his voice worried her, but there was need to be worried. John was about to tell her something that could possibly relieve some of the tension on their marriage. And it needed any relief that it could get. “I went to see Bo and Hope the other day. We had a discussion about JT’s future.” He had her full attention, “Oh?” “I had a change of heart. I pictured what JT would be like when he grew up and became a man and it scared the hell out of me.”
Marlena reached and placed her hand on his to comfort him, “Go on.” He in return placed his other hand atop of hers and they held on to each other tightly. “I don’t want my son growing up with an unstable family life. JT only needs one father, and I would only be in the way.” She was confused about where this conversation was going, “John, what are you saying?”
“I told Bo that he should raise JT as his son. JT should know him as his only father. I think it would be best this way.” “John… are you sure about… please tell me that you didn’t decide this on my account.” “I promise you, I didn’t. We thought you might think that, that’s why I made them promise me not to breathe a word of this until I could…” and his thought trailed off as if he were avoiding something, and of course, this made her suspicious.
“John… until what?” He sighed, “Until I could win your heart back the right way.” She smiled at him, “I hope you mean that. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that you gave up a life with your child for me.” “Even though you are very much worth it, I can honestly say that you are not the reason. I really think that this is best for JT. I’d rather make this sacrifice for him than have him grow into a man who doesn’t understand why his life is all screwed up. It is not his fault that this happened. He’s really the only true victim here. I want him to grow into a man who loves, and loves with his whole heart. I don’t want him confused about anything.”
She brushed the side of his face with the back of her hand, “He may not know you as his father, but he still has your genes. And if he’s anything at all like you… then he will know how to love. And it will be as strong as yours.” “Thank you, Doc. I needed that. Thank you for understanding.” “I do. And it’s not because I think it will be best for us. I agree with you that it is best for JT. His needs really must come first. He’s lucky, ya know. He’ll have two really great parents. And he couldn’t find any better genes if he looked.”
“Well, on that happy note, I think I’m going to go.” She joked, “What? Was it something I said?” “No, no. I just want to end our first day toward finding our way back to one another in a positive way.” She nodded in agreement. “I love you, Marlena. Hopefully I will see you tomorrow?” “Of course,” she replied before he gently kissed her one time on the lips. It was enough to remind her how much she needed him. “Goodnight, Doc.” “Goodnight, my love.”
Page 24 of 76Marlena reached over to the bedside table to answer the annoying ringing phone, “Mmm hello?” A very much awake and eager voice came from the other end, “Goodmorning, sweetheart.” “Mmm what time is it?” “It’s nearly ten thirty. Don’t tell me you’re still asleep,” and after a slight pause, he realized that he had probably woken her up with his call. “I’m sorry, Doc. I thought for sure you’d be up by now.”
It took Marlena a few minutes to gather her bearings and be able to form coherent sentences, but when she finally did, she was glad that he had called. “Listen, Doc, do you have plans for tonight?” “No, why?” “Because Belle and Brady have expressed interest in a dinner for the family and would really like it if you could be here, too.” “Of course, that sounds great. I’d really enjoy seeing them… and you.” “So you’ll be there?” “Yes, just name the time and place.” “Here at the Penthouse. And how does six o’clock sound?” “Sounds great.”
John was glad that she accepted the invitation to the family dinner, but he was really eager to see her as soon as possible, “So… do you have any plans today?” Marlena didn’t want to let him down because she knew how much he was trying to keep their family together, but she did have some plans of her own. “I’m sorry, John, actually I do. I need to try and catch up on some paperwork at the office.”
John replied, “I hope that all this mess I’ve put you through hasn’t put your career in jeopardy. I know how much it means to you.” She tried to reassure him, “It’s nothing that I can’t get caught up on. And besides, I knew there was a chance I would get a little behind if I agreed to run for Woman of the Century.”
***
Marlena was just about ready to call it a day when there was a knock on her door. She thought to herself, ‘Who could that be? No one knows I’m here… except for John.’ She called out to the person standing on the other side of her locked office door, “Coming!” She finally made it to the door and opened it to be greeted by Hope.
“Hope. What brings you here? Oh! Where are my manners, please come in.” Hope thanked her and entered her office. “Marlena, do you have a few minutes? I’d really like to talk to you.” “Well, I was on my way out, but sure, we can talk.”
Hope began, “I wanted to talk to you about John. As you know, he has decided to bow out of his fatherly duties to JT.” Marlena wasn’t sure what point Hope was trying to make, “Hope, if you’re coming to me to talk about child support, then you’re coming to the wrong person. And besides that fact, I don’t see why any form of child support would be a problem. John’s not the type to ignore things like that. Afterall, he did buy me the Penthouse for Belle and I to live.”
“I apologize for not being more clear, Marlena. I’m actually not looking for any form of child support from John. Again, I’m sorry if I caused you to think so. I’m here because I want to be reassured by you that John will not change his mind again about this.” “Hope, I can’t speak for John regarding his decision about JT. He made this decision on his on. I have only recently found out myself.”
“Marlena, look… we have been friends for… gosh… for as long as I can remember. I mean, I was just a kid when you moved to Salem.” Marlena joked, “Are you trying to make me feel old?” “Oh! That’s right! You do have a birthday coming up!” Their laughter helped ease some of the tension that had begun to build up.
Hope continued, “Anyway, we’ve been friends for too long to let something come between us now. And I sure do not want my son being the reason that you and John are having problems.” “Hope, before you go any further, you have to remember that we’ve been over this. JT is not the reason my marriage was in jeopardy. John knew that he was his father for months before ever telling me! Or you for that matter. That is where our problems stem from.”
“I believe you,” Hope said reassuringly, “Can you tell me that John is serious about this latest decision?” “Honestly, no I can’t. And I wouldn’t speak for John even if I could tell you. You’re going to have to talk to him about this. I’m sorry, I’m just not much help.”
Hope was visibly upset, but she wasn’t going to let it ruin her visit. “Back to us… We haven’t exactly been close since this whole mess has come about. We’ve been friends for far too long to let something come between us. So I have to ask you… Do you view me as a threat?” Marlena was shocked by her question. She wasn’t sure how to respond, “I… I’m not sure how to take that question. You’re not a threat to my marriage, Hope.”
Hope snapped back, “You make it sound as if that would be a compliment if I were.” Marlena got stern with her, “Look, I am not about to make enemies with you. That is the last thing that our families need right now. Let me ask you the same question… Do you view me as a threat?” Hope thought careful for a moment before she replied. She didn’t know if Marlena was testing her, or if this was a trick question.
“No, Marlena, I do not see you as a threat. There is nothing that you’re keeping me from. And if you think for a minute that I would be jealous of you because you are married to my baby’s father, then you are dead wrong. I am in love with Bo. I have loved him for as long as I can remember. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t love him. This thing that happened with John and me… the only thing that came out of it was my son. And if John is going to let Bo adopt him and be a father to him, then all the better for me.”
There was another question that Marlena needed to get off of her chest. She knew it might provoke some anger, but she needed to know. “Do you remember being with my husband?” “No. Thank God I don’t remember. Course I don’t think that it would change much even if I did remember. I love Bo, my husband.” Marlena then added, “Would you tell me if you had remembered?” Hope just peered at Marlena as she replied, “I don’t know. I don’t believe it would matter to me enough to make it known that I remembered.” This relieved Marlena.
***
Marlena decided against using her key to enter the Penthouse. Instead, she rang the doorbell in hopes that John would be the one who answered it. Belle was standing near the door and would have opened it, but decided against it, “Dad, why don’t you get it?” John did so and saw an angelic sight before his eyes. “Wow. You look beautiful, Doc.” She must have felt like they had stood there looking at each other for eternity before he finally invited her in, but she wasn’t complaining. She loved it when he looked at her like that.
“Well, I’m outa here!” Belle exclaimed with the energy of a sixteen year old about to go out with her friends. Marlena looked at her daughter and said, “I thought this family dinner was your idea? Now you’re running out on us?” Next was Brady’s turn. He came barging into the living room and kissed Marlena on the cheek. “Hi, Brady. Well, at least the three of us can have a nice dinner together.” “Uh, actually, I have to go. I’m going to Salem U.’s football game. I’m hoping to see Elizabeth there.”
Marlena was taken aback, “Now hold on a minute here. I thought this was supposed to be a family affair. Why are the both of you leaving? Since when are friends and girlfriends more important than your parents?,” she joked. The four of them said their goodbyes and then the room was silent. The only two left were John and Marlena.
She shut the door behind the last one out, locked the door, and then turned to face her husband. “Did you plan this?” He replied confidently, “Nope.” “You sneak, you did, didn’t you?” “No, I promise I didn’t. Belle arranged this for the four of us, and she bailed at the last minute. And they did not tell me before hand.”
That moment of them being alone together reminded them of when they had first gotten back together. They stood in awkward silence as Shawn, Caroline, Laura, and Jennifer had left them alone to re-experience their love. Actually, it wasn’t so much an awkward time, just an exhilarating one. And now they were experiencing those emotions all over again.
He stood looking at her for a few more moments before they finally sat down for dinner. “They sure went out of their way to make this special, didn’t they?” she asked. Smiling, he replied, “Yeah. Those are two great kids, huh? They want so badly to see their parents happy and healthy in love.” She tried to be nonchalant in her reply, but he couldn’t help but chuckle, “Mmmm… they might just get their wish.”
***
John sat on the couch rubbing Marlena’s feet and legs as she sat with her legs stretched out across his lap. A position that came so naturally to them. She seemed more tired than usual to him. He knew that this ordeal was taking its toll on her, but there was something amiss that he couldn’t put his finger on. “So… I’m not going to ask you how you’ve been. I can figure that one out for myself. So, tell me… how have you been sleeping? You seem tired.”
“Gee, thanks. Why don’t you just come right out and ask why I look like shit,” she joked. “I’m serious, Marlena. I’m worried about you.” “Don’t be. I’m fine.” John wanted to believe her, but he knew her past history of not being able to sleep a whole night through.
Her insomnia, if that’s what it is, developed a long time ago when Stefano held her captive on his island. They did come to learn that she spent most of her time there in a drug induced coma, but she also remembered a time when she wasn’t in the coma. And most of that time was spent thinking of her family and fearing for her safety. She never knew what was to come next, and thus as a defense mechanism, her body learned how to deal with only a few hours of sleep. She would lie in bed at night pretending to sleep, but she was really keeping an eye out for what was to come.
The years that she and John were apart, were harder for her physically, and since they’ve been back together, she has had more nights of eight hours of sleep than ever before. However, with this recent turn of events, Marlena had once again learned how to survive with minimal amounts of rest. But sometimes there is a price that insomniacs pay. And that price usually turns out to be an emotional price. John was concerned that with all they had lived through, that one day, something would finally break her.
“Come on, Doc. Be honest with me.” She defended, “I am being honest with you. I’m fine.” “Doc, I can count on my two hands the number of times that you have slept a whole night through.” “Look… some people need a full nights’ rest, others do not. I happen to be one of those who do not. That is not necessarily a bad thing.” “Yeah, but you were not born that way, you were made to be that way. You experienced an emotional traumatic event which caused you to be this way. And it’s all thanks to our good friend, Stefano.”
She tried to defend herself, “It’s not like I’m actually missing any sleep. It doesn’t make me tired or hard to get along with… well, most of the time,” they laughed as she continued, “I just don’t sleep all night. It’s just a fact of life. And I’ve come to accept it.” “But, Marlen…” She interrupted, “Nope. We’re not gonna talk about this anymore,” she said as she playfully waved her finger in his face.
“Ok, then, what are we gonna talk about?” She got up from the couch and walked over to the television set. “What are you doing?” he asked as she pulled one of the DVD’s off of the entertainment center. “We’re gonna watch a movie together and just enjoy each other’s company. How’s that sound?” she asked as she got everything ready. He raised from his seat on the couch and stepped over to her, “I think it sounds great,” and he kissed her on the cheek, “I’ll go make the popcorn.” And they spent the next two hours holding each other and loving each other.
Page 25 of 76The next night found Marlena stretched out on the couch when John came home. She was watching one of her favorite movies, ‘Up Close and Personal’, while relaxing under her favorite blanket. Her presence surprised him. His wife was the last person he expected to see when he got home.
“Doc. I saw your car out front. Is something wrong?,” he said as he made his way over the couch. She moved her legs off of the cushions so that he could sit down beside her. “No. Belle asked me to come over and help her with a project for school.” “Oh.” Looking at her watch, she continued, “Well, we’ve been done for a while now, but I didn’t want to leave until you got home.”
John smiled at the sound of her words. Deep down inside, a tiny part of him tried to convince his heart that she had waited up to see him. “Well, I’m sorry I took so long then.” Trying to hide her curiosity of where he was, she replied, “Oh, that’s ok. I’ve been enjoying just relaxing here watching this movie.” “It is one of your favorites,” he stated. She was almost shocked that he would remember something like that, but it wasn’t so odd. They knew each other inside and out, and had only been separated for a short while.
John could tell that her curiosity was eating her alive inside and he somewhat found it amusing. He decided he would tease her a little, “Aren’t you gonna ask me where I’ve been?” “No.” “Why not?” “Because I’m not your keeper.” “Come on, Doc. I know you. It’s killing you to know.” “John… I’m not even living here with you anymore. What you do is your business so long as it does not negatively affect our children.” “Come on, you’re not letting me off this easy. Go ahead, ask.”
It was killing Marlena to know what had kept him out so late, and what he had been doing, or more importantly, who he was with. ‘Was he with her?’ was the burning question on her mind. Even though John had freely given up custody of J.T., she often wondered if Hope truly gave up remembering the night she shared with her friend’s husband. “John, I’m not going to ask you where you’ve been. It’s not my place to. It’s not my place to ask you that question when I don’t even live with you anymore.”
He tried to lighten the mood once more, “Why is that, by the way?” “Why is what?” “Why don’t you live here anymore?” Shooting him a look, she quickly answered, “You know why.” “No. You know what? I’m not so sure that I do know why. I mean, look at you. It’s obvious that you are very much at home here, as well you should be. I did buy this place for you. And look,” he said as he motioned toward her lying under her favorite blanket, “See how natural you look under your blanket all propped up on the couch. So, no, Marlena, don’t tell me that I know why you’re not here anymore, because it’s obvious to me that this is where you belong.”
His sudden change in mood startled her. She figured she would go ahead and ask the question at hand before their conversation turned ugly, “I’m not gonna fight with you about this, John,” and after a brief pause, she asked, “so… what have you been up to?” She was praying that he wouldn’t tell her that he had been with Hope and their baby, and that he had changed his mind about raising him. Even if it meant he had to lie to her, she wasn’t in the mood to hear that news.
Jokingly he began, “Well, if you must know… I was out shopping.” “Shopping?” a surprised Marlena responded. “Yup!” “Ok, what gives?” “What? Why is it so hard to believe that I would do such a thing?” “Because it is hard to believe!” “Ok, ok.” In her cutest voice she asked, “So… what’d ya get?” “Actually… I got something for you.”
For a brief moment, she had forgotten all about the situation at hand and had gotten all wrapped up in their playful banter. And she anticipated and almost dreaded seeing what he had picked up for her, as she wasn’t quite sure what to expect from him.
He knew that he had sparked her interest. He wasn’t sure how enthused she would be at receiving a gift from him, but he was about to find out. “Don’t get your expectations up too high, it’s just a little something that I had made for you a few days ago. The shop owner called a little earlier and said it was ready.” Her heart sank. “I got it for you as a reminder that I was always close by and that you were always in my thoughts… and in my heart.” His tenderness made her heart sank deeper.
She was almost afraid to know what it was, “What is it?” “Here, see for yourself,” he said as he handed her a box about the size of a book. It was simply, but beautifully wrapped in shiny gold paper with a lacy ribbon tied around it. She opened it with care and peeked inside. She pulled out a picture frame made of cherry oak wood with gold trimmings on the corners. In it was a collage of their wedding picture, a small picture of their rings, and their vows.
She instantly began to tear up as her hand found its way to her mouth and covered it, trying to hold back more tears. “Oh! It’s beautiful,” she said through quite sobs. John knew that he had touched her heart, both gently and like a brick to the head. “I hoped you would like it.” “Of course I do. Oh, God, it’s wonderful!”
She then placed it down on the box in her lap and reached up to him for a hug. She squeezed tight as he hugged her back even tighter. He whispered in her ear, “I love you, Marlena. And I meant every word of my vows to you.” She ended their hug unsure of the moment.
“I promised to love you forever, Doc, and that is what I intend to do. This is just a reminder of that love. I’m not going anywhere, Doc. I hope you can understand that.” After a pause he went on, “Look… I was kind of looking forward to you taking this back to the loft, well your hotel room now obviously, to look at before you go to bed at night and to see first thing in the morning, but… I wouldn’t totally object to you staying here… with me tonight.”
Marlena didn’t know how to respond. Her heart was yelling at her to stay with him, but her mind, the rational side of her was demanding to leave for the loft, and that she needed to keep a clear head. John spoke again, “What are you feeling?” “I’m feeling… I’m feeling a little confused.” “About…?”
“About us. About the situation. I feel as though I should go, but…” John was hanging on her every word. “But I so want to stay.” He breathed a sigh of relief as he placed his hands on hers. “Oh, Doc. Do you have any idea how good it feels to hear you say that?” “I’ve wanted to say that for a while now.” “I’m so glad,” and with his next breath came the kicker, “I need you so much.”
Her heart was beginning to win this battle as she let her guard down, “I need you, too, my love. Even if it is just for the night.” “I could make all of your worries disappear at least for a little while. And hey! Who knows… I might could even convince you to stay here for good.”
She wasn’t sure if she was ready for that just yet, but she just needed to be with him for the night. She needed to feel his arms wrap around her as she slid into bed next to him like she had so many times. She needed to be reminded of what was a stake. Afterall, he was still her husband and they did still have a family together, so it wasn’t like she was doing something terrible. She needed to be with her husband.
“John,” she began in a very low and raspy voice, “I need you to take me upstairs.” Shocked by what his ears had just heard, “Are you sure?” “I’m sure.” “Forgive me if I am a little confused, I…” She cut him off, “I just need to be with you tonight. Will you allow me that?” His heart sank, “Allow you? I’m honored.”
He gently picked her up in his arms and looked deep into her eyes before giving her a very passionate kiss. “I love you,” he said quietly as he started toward the stairs. “Wanna stop off and say goodnight to Belle?” he asked. “Nah. She’s probably asleep anyway, and I’d rather have her find me here in the morning than to prolong this moment any longer.” And John continued up the stairs to their bedroom.
Once they arrived, he placed her on her feet and walked back to the door and closed it. His eyes then met hers in a seductive, come hither look. As he approached her, he began, “I’m a little unsure of what to do here. I… I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I’m not sure how…” She continued his thought, “Not sure how far I’m wanting to go?” He nodded. “As far as our hearts can take us,” and she turned to walk out on their bedroom balcony.
The cool night air made her skin tingle with excitement. It was like therapy for the dead. The cool breeze made her feel so alive as it blew through her hair. He followed her out into the night. She felt his arms slide around her waist as he questioned, “What are you thinking about?” “About us. About where we are in our relationship.” “Where are we, Doc?”
Marlena wasn’t certain how to answer him for she was unsure herself. “I’m not sure, John. Here we are, standing on our balcony, fighting urges to be with one another, and what for? Because we’re dealing with the aftermath of knowing that one of us was with another. I’m dealing with the effects of what hearing that you were with another woman did to me. And it scares the hell out of me.”
John pulled her into a tight embrace. “I’m here for you, Doc. I’m here to listen to whatever you have to say or ask. I’m not walking away from you… from us.” “I don’t want to talk, John. I’m sick of talking. I just want this to all be over with. I want to be able to look at you and not wonder how it must have felt to you to be with another woman. I want to look at you, or even think of you and not see her hands all over your body.”
John understood what she was going through, although he tried not to pretend to her that he did. He didn’t want to lessen the importance of her feelings and emotions. “Marlena, all I can say is what I’ve said before. I don’t remember any of that, nor do I want to. Yours are the only hands that I remember having touched my body. I’m yours, no one else’s. One day you’ll be able to forget about those images like I have, and I’ll still be here. But if you’re needing a more immediate reminder of my love for you, of how much you turn me on and drive me wild, then I can give that to you. Right here, tonight, and forever.”
His words were a comfort to the hurting Marlena. She found some peace in their truth and that made her happy. She did want him; she couldn’t fathom going back to that empty hotel suite alone. He sensed that her silence was an invitation to her heart and body, so he reached down and took her mouth in his. It felt so natural to her that she was able to loose herself in him.
Next, he gently backed her up to the railing of their balcony and used it as leverage to help pick her up and set her on top of it. He felt as though she needed to feel like she was still sexy to him, and he wanted to show her that she was. After setting her on the railing around the many flowers that were slowly dying from the season change, she asked almost chuckling, “Here?” “Sure. Why not? I figure, why not a little more excitement in our lives? And this will be the perfect rush… making love to you on our balcony, half clothed, just enough revealed to make it intriguing to others who may want to watch.”
“What?” she exclaimed as she playfully slapped him in the shoulder. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding! Don’t worry, we’ll be discreet. The only people who will know that we’re making love will be you and me, but everyone else will wonder what’s making the earth move.” She smiled at his sweet seductiveness. He was being so tender with her; it turned her on so, and she captured his lips with hers.
“Why don’t you go put on that silky nightgown that I love so much… so that I may have… easier access,” he suggested seductively with a cocked eyebrow. As she slid off the banister, she replied, “Ooo, only if you go put on your black robe with nothing underneath.” “Yes ma’am.”
He was standing on the balcony enjoying the cool evening breeze when she came out of the bathroom. Marlena leaned against the door frame as she said, “Hey, Sailor.” He turned around to see the most beautiful sight he had ever seen as he looked her up and down. “Oh… you are such a beautiful woman, Doc.”
She didn’t want to clutter the air with flirtasious banter, so instead of replying, she pranced over to the banister and hopped up on it while letting her legs fall slightly apart. His nostrils flared at the sight of her being so comfortable. John slowly made his way to her as she used her finger to motion him over. As he let his hands slide up to her thighs, she peered down into his eyes and her breathing quickly increased.
Next, he gently spread her legs as he stepped up to her and dove into her neck with his mouth. She tilted her head back to allow him more exploring territory as they both let out a few low moans. They were beginning to get hot and heavy, enjoying the erotic foreplay when one of her moans was somewhat louder than it should be, and it provoked a laugh from John. “Shhh! Baby, we don’t want to wake the neighbors.”
Marlena belted out a throaty laugh as she threw her neck back in a swift motion. John admired how the veins in her neck always poked out when she laughed that throaty laugh of hers. And as fast as she started her laughter, she reached down to his ear and whispered, “Take me, John Black.” And he did. In the cool night air, they traveled to their own paradise and back again.
Page 26 of 76The cool night air chilled her skin. “Here, take my jacket.” They stood on the balcony of her room at the Salem Inn, “You’re still shivering. Wanna talk about it?” She leaned against his chest for warmth, but not from the weather. She was looking for some kind of sign that convinced her that they would be ok. Several days had passed since they had been together on their bedroom balcony and expressed to each other intimately what they mean to each other. They had too much invested in their relationship for them to not be ok. And even though Marlena once thought she wanted to end it, she knew in her heart that she would never succeed in doing so.
“Come on… you know I’ve got all the time in the world to listen to any reservations you may have, or any worries you need to get off your chest,” his words comforted her as best they could. She was feeling an emotion that she had denied herself for so long. She had been so angry these past few weeks. The whole situation with Hope had made her somewhat bitter and she had not been able to find a way to let it out… Until they stood there together on that balcony.
Tears streamed down her face as she broke down in his arms. “Baby, why are you crying? What’s wrong? Look, I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you. The other night… when you and I made love… I didn’t plan that. It just happened.” She responded through tears, “That’s not it.” John listened closely as she finally broke down and let her emotions run their course. She sobbed, “John, honey, I’m so scared!”
John was prepared to let his wife to cry in his loving arms for as long as she needed. Fortunately, she wasn’t so badly shaken up that he couldn’t soothe her with his words of comfort. “It’s ok, just let it all out. You’ve been through so much lately and it was brought on by me. It was nothing that you did. I’m just sorry that I let you go on suffering on the inside for so long before noticing it. And now that I have, I’m going to make you a promise.”
With that, he turned her to face him and continued, “I promise that I will always be there for you. I promise to always put you first before myself and I also promise to always come to you when and if I ever start having memories, or anything that may be bringing me down. I was wrong to leave you out of what was going on in my head. We’re a team. It’s about time that I start treating you like you’re on my team. Hell, we’re partners for life, Doc, and I need you. I needed you then and I didn’t come to you. Now I see where it led us. And I’m not going to let that happen in the future. From now on, I will always come to you with any problem that I have, or any memory that I have, and we’ll face it together. I promise you that. And I can also promise you that I’ll love you forever.”
His words did comfort her. She was finally able to wipe away her tears and let him lead her back inside where she returned his jacket to him. He accepted it and turned to look her in the eyes to see if he could get an insight to what she was thinking, “So is it safe to assume that you still believe we’ll be ok? I mean, you do still love me and want to work this out, don’t you?”
Marlena didn’t have to force very hard to say what she has always felt inside, “I love you, John. It’s just that I am scared. I’m scared that we can never get back what we once had. That we can never love like the John and Marlena we know, once did.” John felt his heart ache. It ached for her, and for him, and the pain he was feeling. But it also ached because he needed her so badly. “Doc,” he whispered, “I promise you, that if you let me, I will help us get back there. We’re not all that far away. We just got a little sidetracked.”
She looked up with helpless school-girl eyes, “Do you honestly believe that?” He answered with confidence, “Yes. You make me believe that.” She whispered back, “I’m so sorry that I have put you through so much.” “Hey… It’s not your fault. You’re the one who’s been drug through the ringer here.” She admitted, “Well, I’m coming to accept that it was not your fault either. And I really am proud that you wanted to take responsibility for the consequences. Not everyone would do that.” “I was just doing what I thought was right.” Referring to him giving up raising J.T. as his own, she added, “I’m sorry that it may have backfired on you.”
“Again, I was just doing what I thought was right. Who knows if it really is,” he replied sadly. “What’s right will happen. It will come. Whatever is meant to be, will come.” “Doc, I don’t want to talk about anything right now. I’m going to be honest with you. The only thing I really need right now is you.” “I’m here for you, you know that.” “No, you don’t understand. I need to be with you, Marlena.”
You ask me if I love you
and I choke on my reply
I’d rather hurt you honestly
than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
in what you say or do
I’m only just beginning
to see the real you
Marlena could see the hurt in John’s eyes that this whole ordeal has been causing him. She couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for leaving him in such a trying time. Afterall, she had just admitted to him that she understood it wasn’t his fault, and yet she let her pride and broken idealism of how she viewed them get in the way of their love. Her husband needed her. And truth be known, she needed her husband.
John realized that he had gone too far. He didn’t want to make things worse by burdening her with his problems regarding JT, so he decided he would leave. “I’m sorry, Doc. I’m gonna get out of here.” And he turned toward the door. “John! Wait.” Marlena couldn’t let him just walk out of there. Especially not after having just told her that he needed her.
“Don’t go. Not like this. You just told me you needed me.” John answered matter-of-factly, “I do.” “Well… you may not believe this, but… I really need you, too.” Her words were barely a whisper, but they were loud enough for John’s heart to hear them. John tried not to believe that her words were true for he did not want to be hurt again. “Doc. Don’t do this for my sake, ok?” “I’m not. I’m doing this for our sake,” and she paused to look into his eyes before whispering, “I’d really like for you to stay with me tonight.”
John nonchalantly asked, “So what do you want to do?” Marlena looked at him with those seductive confident eyes, and replied, “I think you know what we will wind up doing.” “Tell me then, as a psychiatrist, would you say that planning a love making session to be healthy? I mean, like this right here, what we’re doing… talking about… referring to… making love.” “Yes, I’d say it is healthy. In fact, in some cases, I would even prescribe it.” “Is this one of those cases?” “Mm’mm.” With her reply, John took it upon himself to make the first move. He reached down to her mouth, and hovered just above it for what seemed to be an eternity, before taking it.
And sometimes when we touch
the honesty’s too much
and I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides
John parted to give himself room to undress his wife. He peered deep into her hazel eyes as if looking for more encouragement to continue. When he found it, he stealthly moved his hands to the buttons on her jacket and began undoing them. She breathed swiftly as she felt the chill of the room touch her skin when he slid her jacket from her shoulders. As he continued to undress her, John was in awe at the beauty before him, “I love you so much, Marlena.”
He casually began getting himself undressed and then Marlena joined in. As he removed his leather jacket and shirt, she removed him of his belt and jeans. They stood a mere breath apart, both clad in only their silk undergarments. John hovered his mouth closer to his wife’s, relishing in the feel of her breath on him. He swiftly picked her up into his bulging arms and carried her to the bed.
They spent the next several minutes rolling around under the sheets with each other, kissing and soaking in the feel of their bodies, before finally striping themselves of the last remaining clothing. “Whew. I’d almost forgotten how beautiful your body is, Doc. I can’t express enough to you just how good it feels to be next to you like this again.” “You don’t have to verbally try and express it, my love. Our bodies and souls will soon be reconnected so strongly that nothing can ever separate us.”
Romance and all it’s strategy
leaves me battling with my pride
But through all the insecurity
some tenderness survives
I’m just another writer
still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
still trapped within my youth
John continued with his admiration of his wife’s body, taking care not to miss a single spot untouched with his lips. His heart and gut shared the same pang of having her next to him again. It was only a few days ago that she had spent the night with him at the Penthouse, and they had made love on their balcony, but something was different about tonight. John couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he got the feeling that tonight would be a turning point for them.
Marlena almost stopped him from going any further, but she decided against it, for she could not deny that she wanted to be close to him. To feel his arms around her. To feel his hands touching her naked body. ‘But I can’t do this. I can’t do this to him… to us. But it feels so good, so comforting to have him next to me. It’s been so long, Marlena, don’t deny yourself the pleasure.’ She tried not to think about the fact that by making love it clouded her judgment. But now was no time to worry about judgment. This was right.
And sometimes when we touch
the honesty’s too much
and I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides
John took them both to dizzying heights before their physical emotions slowly drifted to normal again. They lay in each other’s arms, still fighting to return their breathing to normal again. John could hardly stand the emotions of having her naked body so close to him again. He began kissing her skin in admiration.
At times I’d like to break you
and drive you to your knees
At times I’d like to break through
and hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
and I know how hard you try
I watched while love commands you
and I’ve watched love pass you by
At times I think we’re drifters
still searching for a friend
a brother or a sister
but then the passion flares again
Marlena had an uneasy feeling creep up and she quickly crawled out from under the sheets, grabbed her robe, and stated, “We can’t do this anymore.” John’s heart sank to the floor, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” “It means what it means. You need to get dressed, you need to go,” she forced out. She ran to the bathroom to shield her tears from him, but he wouldn’t let her leave that easily, “Doc? What do you mean… why are you crying?” “Just go. This should not have happened again. All it does is cloud my judgment.”
Her last remark infuriated John, “Who gives a shit about judgment! You’re my wife. You belong with me.” “Not like this. Not when every time we see each other, we can’t keep our hands off of each other.” “And what’s so bad about that? I happened to have liked it when we made love practically every night.” Through tears, Marlena replied before running to the bathroom to get away, “Nothing is wrong with us making love, but we can’t just be together physically. I want more than this. If I can’t have all of you, I don’t want anything.”
And sometimes when we touch
the honesty’s too much
and I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold ya till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides
Subsides
Page 27 of 76John had gotten dressed as quickly as he could. He wanted to get out of there before she came out of the bathroom and he lost it. He was so furious, he didn’t know how he would react. He was hurt that she still couldn’t take him back completely. He was confused because she bitched about not being able to accept only part of him, yet she was the one standing in the way from having it all.
He had just stepped out the door and was about to walk away, when Marlena called out to him. “John… wait.” His heart skipped a beat. “Yes?” She peered into his deep blue eyes as she struggled to find the words, and the courage to speak from her heart. “Don’t go. Please?” John nearly jumped out of his skin in anger, but controlled himself as to not scare Marlena.
“Marlena, why won’t you come home with me? I mean, it’s obvious that you still love me, we just proved that,” he said with a gleam in his eye. She replied, “I can’t, so I won’t, deny that I have a very healthy appetite for… uh… sexual activity.” “And I won’t deny that I’ve always liked that you enjoy sex,” he said nonchalantly.
Marlena chuckled as John continued. “But we can’t keep doing this. We are a married couple, Marlena, and there is an empty, lonely bed at home waiting for you. You are not the type of woman, and I am not the type of man, to go sneaking around a hotel room to have sex with each other. I have far too much respect for you, myself, and most of all… us.”
“Geez… you put it like that and it does sound sleazy. But come on, isn’t it a little fun?”, she joked. He gave her a look that made her reply, “I’m kidding. Ha ha.” She was trying to not only cheer him up, but also herself. She had shed a few tears in the bathroom before coming to her senses. “Look, Doc, as much as it may add excitement to our sexual relationship, it’s not doing much for our emotional relationship.” “What does that mean, John?”
John’s frustration showed, “You keep telling me that you must have me completely, that it is all or nothing, that almost isn’t enough, yet every time we get close, you back away again. Why do you do that? Is this all we mean to you? Or do you only want a sexual relationship with me?” Marlena did not reply to his question perhaps because she did not know how to, or because she did not know the answer herself. “What is it going to take to get my wife back?”
Marlena forced herself to say something, “I need you… I need you in my life, John. I won’t deny that. And Lord knows I do not want a divorce from you, but there is still something off inside of me. I don’t know what it is, or how to fix it right now. And no, a sexual relationship is not all I want with you. I want all of you. I just don’t know how to get back there. All I know is that I need to do something before I push you away from me for good.”
John closed his eyes as she spoke. He began feeling the pain that she was in because of this whole situation, and felt as though he needed to let go of his anger that he felt for her at that moment, and to try and reach her heart. “Marlena, you could never push me away. You’ve got to believe that. I’d fight to my death just to see you smile.” She snapped back, “Your death wouldn’t make me smile.” “No, I don’t think it would. But right now I’m feeling somewhat dead, and I think perhaps that you may be, too.”
Marlena nodded in agreement as John continued, “So what do you propose we do?” “I have a suggestion of what we could do, but it is going to require some understanding and an open mind.” “I’ll do whatever it takes.” Hesitantly, she began, “It is obvious that spending this much time apart is fueling our physical passion and we both know that we can’t try and rebuild our relationship from that.” John agreed.
“Something has to be done that will allow us to see each other on a more regular basis without having to fight those strong urges to… be with one another sexually. I can’t ignore that our sexual passion is one of the things that makes us unique. Afterall, that passion stems from our undying love that we share, and the fact that we are soulmates just reconfirms our affair.” “What are you getting at?” John asked with much confusion. “I want to move back home, but… I think we should still sleep separately.”
John fought the urge to get angry. Instead, he kept a calm voice when further questioning her about her decision, “Do you think that it would help?” “I do. I think that it would bring us back together as a family, the kids would have their parents home with them, and we could do a better job of parenting living in the same house.”
John could see that Marlena was dodging the bullet by bringing up the kids. “Doc, where does that leave us?” “It will give us time… time to live as a family again and time for us to grow back together. It will also give us a little space without being too far apart.”
John was trying to understand her reasoning. “Can’t we have our space by sharing the same bed, but not being intimate?” “Right now I don’t think so. I need to accept what has happened because I want to, and because I love you, not because my mind is clouded with sexual thoughts of you.”
***
The kids were both asleep by the time Marlena and John arrived at the Penthouse, so they would not get the good news until the morning. Marlena went straight for their bedroom and began unpacking her suitcase. John wasn’t necessarily happy with what was to come, but he was willing to try it if it meant getting his wife back. “Listen, sweetheart… I’m gonna take the guest room and let you have our room.” There was no need for her to argue, for John wouldn’t hear of his wife being booted out of her own bed.
Moments had passed after John had finished his shower and was headed downstairs when the air in the room grew thick. “Something wrong?” he asked. She tried to play it off, “No. Nothing’s wrong.” But anyone could have sensed the tension in the air. These two had a difficult enough time staying away from each other even when they were committed to other people, now would really be a true test of their strength and will power.
John gathered his robe and headed for the door, “Well… goodnight,” and he stopped to kiss her on the forehead on his way out. “Night,” she replied with a whisper as she watched him disappear into the hall. She let out a sigh of frustration, “This is going to be harder than I thought.” John paused in the hallway and turned to see a closed door behind him and the bedroom light go off, “Oh, Doc… You’re stronger than I could ever be. Good night, my love.” And Marlena said with a whisper, “Good night, my love.”
Page 28 of 76They had made it through the first night of sleeping separately, but living under the same roof again, yet just barely. Marlena experienced her usual sleeplessness and John quickly learned that staying in the guest room was out of the question. He may have to deal with not sharing a bed with his wife, but actually sleeping in a bed would only remind him of her even more.
They had woken up about the same time as they always did; Marlena put her robe on and went downstairs in time to find John also getting up. Old habits were hard to break even if they currently weren’t sharing the same bed, and their natural instincts always won out. “Good morning, Sweetheart,” John said smiling as he kissed his wife. “Morning.”
He was so happy to see her, he thought he would explode with joy, “How did you sleep?” “As good as to be expected, I suppose,” she noticed how his silk pants hung over his waist and legs and excentuated his assets, and it drove her wild, “What about you?” John couldn’t help but smile at her subtlety to try and hide her emotions, “About the same,” and he, too, admired how she looked in her silk nightgown and robe, and thought how great it would be to be free to remove it from her body. “Uh… want some breakfast?” She would not deny that she enjoyed driving him wild, “That would be nice.”
John went into the kitchen to begin preparing breakfast as she went to the Penthouse door and retrieved the morning paper. As she nestled down in one of the dining room chairs to read the news, Belle had made her way downstairs. The first thing she noticed was the blanket and the pillow lying on the couch. ‘Mmph. Wonder why that’s here?’ she thought to herself.
She figured she would question her mother and father about it since she could hear them stirring in the kitchen and could smell the frying of bacon spreading throughout the living room. “Mom?” “Oh! Good morning, sweet girl,” she replied as she reached over to kiss her daughter on the cheek. “Why are there blankets on the couch in the living room?”
John looked up from his frying pan to peer into Marlena’s sorrow filled eyes. He knew that they would have to explain their sleeping arrangements to their children, and hope they could make them understand. Marlena was about to speak, when John interrupted, “Uh, Doc, let me handle this, k?” He was being so sweet and considerate to try and comfort her even though this unique arrangement was not his idea. “Belle, honey…” he began with a soft voice, “your mother and I have decided to work things out. For good this time. But we both feel as though we should take things slowly. Neither of us wants to rush back into our lives as if nothing was ever wrong. We tried that when she returned from Colorado and you see where it led us. We think that by doing this, it will help us grow back together as a family.”
Marlena felt complete adoration for the man that she called husband. ‘And to think I almost lost this man.’ Before she could even add anything to his explanation, Brady burst into the kitchen, “So you think that making Dad sleep on the couch is enough punishment for his crime?”
They were all surprised to find that Brady had overheard what John had tried to explain to Belle. The only thing that was wrong was that Belle understood and accepted it, whereas it was evident that Brady did not. John defended his wife, “No, Brady, you’ve got it all wrong.” Furious at his parents’ careless act he continued, “Then why don’t you explain it to me, Dad, because what you just told Belle… I don’t buy!”
John was not about to let either of the children blame Marlena, after all, it was he who was the original cause of this whole mess, “Marlena is not making me sleep on the couch. We both decided it would be best if we slept apart for a while. Being a man yourself, I’m sure you understand that I could not allow her to sleep anywhere other than our bed, so I was to stay in the guest room. And seeings how sleeping in a bed reminds me too much of her, I decided to sleep on the couch.” “So what you’re saying is, is that the two of you have to separate yourselves in order to keep your hands off of each other,” Brady snidely remarked as he stormed out of the kitchen.
John chased after him leaving Marlena to deal with any new questions that may have arose in Belle after witnessing such an act. “Belle… you do understand, don’t you? I mean, please, if there is anything that you are confused about, please talk to me.” “No, Mom, I think I understand. I’m just so happy to have you back in here with us, I’ll take whatever living arrangements I can get. I can’t say the same for Brady. Something is bothering him and I’m not sure what it is.” Marlena tried to reassure her daughter that everything would be ok with them and Brady, but she almost didn’t believe her own words.
***
The morning had come and gone with excitement as Marlena said goodbye to her husband and daughter before she left for work. The time was fast approaching for her to make her first campaign appearance in Paris and she had much to do before then. Not only did she have a speech to complete, but she also had a family to get in order before they all flew over there together for a vacation. The last thing any of them needed was to be in another country with this issue unresolved. She knew, too, that she would need to try and make some kind of peace between Brady and his father before leaving.
Just then, there was a knock on her door. There were no patients scheduled for her morning, so she figured it must be John coming to comfort her after what happened in their kitchen earlier that morning. She was wrong. As she flung open the door ready to leap into his arms with happiness to see him, there stood a very unhappy, almost angry looking, Brady.
“Brady. Hi, please come in.” “Don’t make small talk with me, Marlena.” His tone instantly gave way that something was not right. He seemed at peace with her the other day when the two of them spoke in her office, so she was unsure where his haste for her was coming from. “Ok, then. Wanna tell me what’s wrong? You stormed out of the Penthouse this morning like we had just ran over your dog.”
Her innocent comment infuriated Brady, “That is not at all funny!” But she defended herself, “I’m not trying to be funny. I’m trying to get your attention.” “Look! I didn’t come here for one of your stepmother to son psycho babble talks. I came here to give you an ultimatum.”
Marlena always knew that Brady was in constant struggle with the fact that he would never know his biological mother. So she was always very understanding when he would go from one day calling her “Mom” to the next day when he would refer to her as his stepmother. She tried to not let that bother her because she felt that he was always trying to find his way. It was understood between them both that Brady thought of Marlena as his “real mother”, and even when he called her “stepmom”, that feeling never changed. Brady accepted his father’s love for Marlena from the very beginning, and had very fond memories of being with Marlena and Belle when he and his sister were little. But sometimes, the added mixed feelings and emotions of adolescence added to the confusion.
“I just want you to know that I am watching you, Marlena. I’m watching you and Dad very closely. Don’t think that I don’t know what is going on. I’m not some ignorant little kid. I know that you and Dad can’t stand to be away from each other. That’s why you had your affair so many years ago, when I was just a baby. And that is why you are back at home now.”
She defended her actions, “What? No, I love your father and I love my family. That is why I am back at home!” “Well, I hope that is the reason. Because if it isn’t… if you wind up leaving us again… you will loose Belle. I will make sure that she knows everything about yours and Dad’s sordid love affair.”
His words were beginning to make her angry, “First of all, what happened so many years ago is in the past. It is mine and your father’s business… Not yours! And secondly, I am home for good. I made a vow to your father to love him and honor him and to remain faithful to only him for as long as we both shall live, and I intend to keep that vow. Our marriage is sacred, and I’m not giving up on it. We have some things to work out, and we will. We will work it out.”
Brady turned and made his way to her door and before he reached for it, she called out to him, “Brady, wait! I know that you have always had it a little differently than Belle has. And I’ve always respected that and tried to give you your space, have I not?” He agreed with her, “You’ve done a terrific job. Better than what a lot of kids have it.” “So I understand that this anger is stemming from some underlying confusion that you’ve had and may always have by growing up never knowing Isabella. I don’t want to add to that confusion, but your father and I have to get past this on our own time. If for some reason it does not work out, it will not be because we didn’t try.”
He reached for the doorknob and turned to give her one last warning, “You better be serious, Marlena. I’ve grown to trust you as my own mother. And when you do things like this… when you walk out on us… well… it’s like I loose another mother all over again,” and he closed the door behind him shattering her heart into a thousand pieces. She lifted a hand to her mouth to try and hold back the tears that eventually won out and gushed down her face. “If John and I can’t work things out… it will destroy Brady… and Belle.”
Page 29 of 76Marlena had to get out of there. Brady had just left her office, but not before giving his stepmother an ultimatum, and she was worried that this would all blow up in their faces. She loved her husband and her children more than anything, and she knew that she had better be able to get over her husband being with another woman, or it may tear her family apart.
She was startled away from her sorrows by the ringing of her phone. It was Damon wanting to meet to go over her speech one last time. Paris was only a few days away and it was important that she complete it with plenty of time to spare. “How about lunch at Salem Place?” he asked.
***
They had put the finishing touches on her speech before their food was served and were now talking over coffee. “May I ask you a personal question?” Marlena nodded. “Why do you look so down? Last time we spoke, you told me that you and John were going to work things out.” She hesitated, but answered his question, “We are. I was at my office when you called. Brady had just left and… well… he kind of gave me a wake up call. He told me that I had better be for real about working things out with John, or…”
Damon could tell that she was hurting and it was obvious that whatever it may be was brought on by her talk with Brady. “Or what, Marlena?” “Or I’d loose him… and Belle.” But before Damon could offer any condolence something caught his attention behind Marlena, and he straightened his torso as if he were bracing himself for war.
It had only been four days since they had started on the path back to each other, so seeing her with another man, campaign manager, or not, it made his blood boil. John approached their table at the Java Cafe, and stood vigilant behind his wife, “Well well well. Nice to run into the two of you here.”
His voice startled her as though hearing his comment she knew what was about to come. “Oh, hi, honey!” She stood up to greet him hoping to make peace. He obliged and took his wife’s mouth in his and made a quick, but effective exploration to show Damon that he meant business. She felt the power and the passion from his kiss and hoped out of politeness it wasn’t too obvious how much he affected her, “John, honey… you remember Damon.” Damon offered his hand but John refused, “Mr. Black, I want to apologize for the way we met the other day.”
John spoke with much pride and confidence, “Look, Edwards, I’m going to get along with you because you are helping my wife, and since that is probably not going to change, I’ll just have to deal with it. But I don’t have to like you.” “John…” Damon wasn’t going to let her fight his battle with John for him, “No it’s ok, Marlena. I understand completely what he must be feeling. He walked in on what could have been an inappropriate situation the other day and I would have reacted the same way if it were my beautiful wife.” His ‘beautiful’ remark caught both Mr. and Mrs. Black off guard. She had sensed for a while now that he had a crush on her, but she wasn’t sure if it was because he missed his wife so much, or if he was really interested. Either way, Marlena was married. Happy, or not, she was taken.
John fought back the anger at hearing this man call his wife beautiful, “I’m sure Marlena appreciates attracting and being called beautiful by many men, but do me a favor, pal, and don’t be one of those men, ok?” Damon knew he was not welcome anymore, and was on his way. Just as soon as he was out of ear shot, her fiery eyes turned to her husband and glowed with anger, “What the hell was that all about?” John was not going to be shot down for defending his pride, “I don’t like the man, Doc.”
“Why should it matter if you like him or not? He’s my campaign manager!” she snapped back. “Yeah, well if you haven’t forgotten, you’re still wearing my wedding band and what I saw the other day with the two of you in your office looked very much like two people who are getting awfully friendly. Or a man who is taking advantage of the situation to get close to a beautiful woman. A married woman.”
She was not at all happy with her husband at that moment and her tone showed it, “John, if you’re looking for a way to ease some of the blame from yourself, then maybe I should just go grab the first hunk I can find, have the most wild erotic sex of my life, and then come home to you. Would that make you feel better? Would that ease some obvious jealousy of my working with a decent looking man?”
Ouch. Cheap shot. “Well, let me ask you the same question, Marlena. Would having an affair with some unknown stud help ease the pain for you?” That was it. It was all she could do not to totally flip out right there in the middle of Salem Place. “Since this is a public place, I obviously can’t throw you out, so I’m leaving,” and she grabbed her things and left John alone with his hurt pride and the bill for his wife’s and her campaign manager’s lunches. “Way to go, Black. We get on the road to a full make up and then you go and blow it over your damn jealousy. This is not the kind of road block we need right now.” His words rang true in his ears, as for the first time, he understood what she had been feeling, “Guess this is what Marlena’s been going through all this time.”
***
A knock came from the other side of the dark stained door, “Come in!”, the voice called out. Craig looked up from his paperwork, “Marlena… hi.” He was surprised to see her since she is one of the few staff members that he doesn’t require weekly updates from. “What brings you here?”
A distracted Marlena crosses the room with a saddened demeanor, “I came to let you know that my trip to Paris is only a few days away. Just trying to keep my boss informed.” Unsure of why she was really there, “Okay, thank you for keeping me updated, but you know you have my permission to come and go as you please. Just as long as someone knows how to reach you.” “Uh, yeah… I know that… I just thought I’d come by… come by and deliver the news personally.”
Craig has never come across to her as being very compassionate; everyone knew he was hardnosed about getting the COS position. Yet he left his dark leather chair to meet her on the other side of his desk, “Marlena, is there something wrong?” She hadn’t come to Craig’s office to bombard him with her emotions, but yet strangely enough, she wound up there. “Please… have a seat.” “No, I’d better not.” She wasn’t offering any free information, so he decided if he was to get anywhere with her visit, he’d better ask the questions, “Okay, I’ll bite… How are things with you and John?” Finally, she seemed to relax a little, “Well, needless to say we’ve stumbled a little bit. But we’ll get there.”
“Maybe you need to take a few extra days.” “No, that won’t be necessary. I think this trip may very well be what I need.” At that moment, the doorknob turned again and in stepped John, “And what trip would that be?” The familiar voice breathing down her neck made all her hairs stand on end. He had overheard the tail end of a conversation and had jumped to conclusions. Yet again.
She whipped around, one hand on her hip, and her index finger flying, “John! Don’t start. What the hell are you doing here?” “Looking for you. Your secretary didn’t know where you went, so I figured I’d ask your boss. I see you found her.” Craig’s cool facade shinned through, “Well, now that answers my question.” John demanded, “And what question would that be, Wesley?”
Her boss turned to her with compassionate eyes before leaving his office, “Marlena, I’m going to leave the two of you alone. I’ve got some rounds I need to make anyway. Will you be ok?”, he asked as he lightly touched her forearm in passing. “I’ll be fine. Thank you.”
The door didn’t get closed all the way before she let him have it, “I’m sick to death of your jumping to conclusions and your damn jealousy!” The frustration was at its peak in both of them. Marlena didn’t know what to say to him other than to yell at him, and that wasn’t helping matters.
She had made her way to the office window and was staring out it when he came near and reached out to her. “Well that’s a start. You didn’t back away.” Her defenses were tired, “We’ve got to work this thing out.” “I know. That’s why I came here looking for you. I wanted to apologize for how I behaved earlier. And every other time you’ve been with your manager.” She took a deep breath as he gently careesed her cheeck with the side of his finger, “I’m sorry, too. I hope you don’t think that I’m avoiding you because I’m spending so much time on my speech. It’s just that I’ve got to get it done. And once I do, then I’ll only have to make slight changes to fit the campaign appearances.” He understood, “I’m proud of you. I hope you win this thing so that all the women of the world will have someone special they can look up to. You’d be such a great role model for today’s woman.”
No words were even good enough to express how either of them felt. Confusion and frustration had set in and taken over, but deep down, their love was still evident. All she needed was right there in front of her, and she fell into his arms for long embrace. The sweet smell of her blonde locks drifted up into his senses. “Mmm… your hair smells so wonderful,” he gasped. As they parted slightly, he lifted her chin with his index fingers to match his eyes, “You know… I was on my way up to you this afternoon to tell you how great you looked. I didn’t get a chance to this morning it was so crazy. I guess I got a little sidetracked at the cafe, too. I’m sorry.”
A small smile finally crept up, as she was obviously distracted by his sweetness, “Well go on… say it. Tell me how great I look.” His eyes sparkled when he spoke, “Ok, I’m not going to beat around the bush here. You look so damn sexy in that outfit it’s driving me crazy.” He brought his lips to hers and lightly brushed them. “You know I love the part of you that is an independent career woman, and the suits that you wear… They look really nice around your tight ass,” and he slid his hands around to her rear as he planted a deep wet kiss on her lips.
“You definitely got to the point,” she joked. The air had been cleared between the two lovers enough to call a truce. There was still some hurt to be dealt with, but one thing was for sure. John and Marlena still had it. Her breath drove him mad as she whispered to him, “Come on, I’ll let you take me home.”
Page 30 of 76Marlena tossed and turned in her bed instead of getting some much needed sleep. But she was unable to sleep. How could she when all that ran through her head were thoughts of her husband down on the sofa alone instead of with her in their bed. She wondered if all this had been a huge mistake and if she should just make up with him. “No, doc,” mimicking her husband’s nickname for her, “that wouldn’t be the rational thing to do.” She continued, half-heartedly joking, as thoughts of how cozy and safe she felt after making love to John before going to sleep at night, “but it might be the only way to get some sleep around here.”
***
Downstairs John finally flung the blanket off of him and sat up, propped his elbows on his knees, and let his head fall into his palms. Sleep was not coming to him so easily either. “Come on, man, get it together,” John said to himself, “But how can I? I’m worried sick over what this has done to Marlena and me. I should have just kept it to myself. We would have all been a lot better off.”
“No we wouldn’t, John.” Startled, John turned around to see a beautiful Marlena bathed in black satin nightgown and matching robe standing at the foot of the staircase. “Doc,” he tried to explain, but before he could Marlena cut him off. “It’s ok. I understand… the stress has gotten to us all,” she said as she slowly moved over to the couch and sat down across from him.
Her body language spoke a thousand words; the way she leaned back against the back of the couch told John how tired of this she was. And she was getting sick of their marriage suffering. He was afraid that the stress was getting to her so much that she might finally back away from him for good, just so that she could get on with her life. John was not about to let her get away from him. It hasn’t yet, and they’ve come so far, he wasn’t going to give in.
The first time I laid my eyes on you I knew
We’d spend this life side by side
I still feel the same though you’re so far away
I swear that you’ll always be my…
“Sleepless night, too, huh?” she asked while rubbing her face as if to wash away all the grief. “Yeah, Doc. So what’s your excuse?” “Hmmm… too many thoughts running through my head. Too many thoughts of…” And as she glanced up their eyes locked gazes and he said in unison with his wife to complete their thought, “us.”
John having said that really touched her heart, but she felt it was too soon to crumble now. She fought hard not to show him how much she needed him. How much she wanted him. His earlier run-in with Damon still heavy on her mind. “Can I get you something to drink?” he asked her while trying to relieve some of the tension that just filled the penthouse living room. “Um…” she thought for a second, “some tea would be nice.” “Be right back,” he said as he gave her a quick wink.
She watched him as he rose from his makeshift bed and walked into the kitchen wearing only his black boxers. Those black silk boxers. “Oh my, this is going to be harder than I imagined.” It was obvious even to her that he could still make her heart race. And she wondered what he was doing wearing those when he wouldn’t even wear them out of their bedroom for fear that little Belle would see him. Of course now he did it more out of consideration for a more grown-up Belle than to hide his own embarrassment. Marlena felt her heart ache to touch him, to feel those boxers on his body lying next to her again.
John walked up to Marlena from behind and placed a full glass of tea at her neckline, the coolness from the icy glass almost leapt onto her hot skin, “Here you are, Doc, my famous iced tea. Its still fresh ’cause I made it tonight before dinner.” As she took the glass from her husband’s hand, their skin lightly grazed one another and a bolt of passion escaped through their touch. After a brief second that passed like a lifetime, she looked up at him and said, “Thank you” with a very sincere, yet very tired smile. Realizing her pain, he said as sweet as he could possibly muster at three A.M., “You’re very welcome.”
Forever Love
I promise you
Someday we’ll be together
Forever love
I won’t give up
No matter what
I’ll be waiting for you
Forever love
The room quickly filled with more tension as Marlena sipped her tea and John felt he needed to do something to end such an awkward moment. They didn’t have many awkward moments between the two of them since they professed their love for one another three summers ago and he didn’t want any to start. “Doc, you look tired, honey.” Not possessing the strength to fight the urge to cover it up, she agreed, “I am… a little.”
“Why don’t you come over here, and try to relax some, ok? I promise… no ulterior motives. I just know how relaxed we both feel in each other’s arms.” It was true. They always did know how to make each other feel at ease. That was something that they had to learn to deal with while being apart. It was difficult to deny their feelings and yet at the same time have the uncontrollable urge to rush to each other every time something was not right. Now was no different. She couldn’t resist that sweet voice he saved only for her and she carefully stepped around the coffee table to a waiting pair of hands to help her ease into position. She quickly took her natural spot against his chest with one arm wrapped around her. “Better?” he asked and she replied half asleep, “Mm’mm.”
Minutes and hours and years may go by
But my heart knows nothing of time
So don’t cry, just keep me right there
In your dreams. And hold on to these words of mine
John felt so content with his wife in his arms in this familiar position that they shared at least once a day, whether it was while they were talking about what happened during the day, or when they were snuggled up on the bed watching a late night movie together. He thought how long it had been since she had been this close to him; in a sensitive way other than making love. Innocently close. So much was said in this gesture from Marlena, that words were not needed in fear of spoiling the moment. Therefore, he was somewhat surprised when she broke the silence.
“John,” she began as she slowly sat up to look at him face to face, “I’m really sorry for any stress and unease that these…” quickly glancing around the room as if to make light of the situation, “unusual living arrangements may be causing you. Rest assured, you are not alone. That bed up there is no more comfortable without you in it as this here couch is.”
Her words seemed to spark a slight feeling of hope inside of John, but his feeling of guilt still dominated his emotions, “Doc, no one has suffered more than you. I won’t even begin to pretend that I have.” Tired of dealing with the situation that is absolutely beating her down, but still unwilling to give in completely, she asked in a child-like scared voice, “John, what are we going to do?” “Oh baby, I don’t know,” he let out with a sigh as he reached out and wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her close to him.
Forever Love
I promise you
Someday we’ll be together
Forever love
I won’t give up
No matter what
I’ll be waiting for you
Forever love
He buried his nose in her hair and took in the aroma as if smelling it for the first and last times in the same moment. “Doc, I’m just so sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you. God knows I never meant to hurt you. I’d rather cut my flesh bone deep than to ever cause you any pain. I’m just so sorry, honey.” He continued in a familiar scared voice that only one other time had he used and it and she was instantly reminded of their last goodbyes on Victor’s jet before they fell into each other’s arms and made love, “And I don’t expect any forgiveness from you. I’m beyond that, Doc, I just want to make it better for you, but God knows I’ve probably destroyed things beyond any salvage.”
Just then he noticed a tear fall from Marlena’s eye to his arm below. In one swift, but gentle motion, he was facing her and had wiped away her tear before pulling her into a tight hug. While hugging her tightly and rocking her gently, he said to her, “Oh, baby, oh, Doc… honey, it’s alright. It’s all going to be alright. I promise to you, Marlena, somehow, someway I will make this better for you. If it takes me getting out of your life for good to end your heartache, then that is what I will do.” After hearing these words come from John’s mouth, Marlena held on tighter to her husband in fear that she just might drive each other to that point. And deep inside, she was beginning to realize that she didn’t want to loose him afterall.
Love is the road to our destiny
Nothing can change what is meant to be
Feeling her tighten her grip around him, he asked, “Honey what’s wrong?” Raising her up from their hug so that he could see her face, she finally said through sobs of absolute heartache, “Oh, John! I can’t loose you! Not like this… not ever!” John couldn’t hold back any longer, “Well, Doc, what do you want to do about it?” After asking this question, John watched as she pulled her fists up to her chest in a familiar gesture. He waited for her to answer. She sat there with white-knuckled clinched fists with the look of so much torment and pain on her face, but he needed to know. He needed to hear her say it. “Doc… what are you afraid of?” And threw confusion and frustration, she sobbed, “I don’t know!” *sob*, “I’m just so scared!”
John knew now was not the time to push the issue any further. He gently pulled her back down onto his chest and wrapped his arms around her. They situated themselves comfortably on the couch and drifted off together to a peaceful night of sleep… something that neither of them seemed to be able to obtain since sleeping apart.
Page 31 of 76The morning sun peaked through the french doors. The penthouse had a soft light glow as the sun rose over Salem. Over at the couch, the scene was of a loving couple. Marlena and John had spent the night in each other’s arms. They hadn’t quite made up, but for someone who didn’t know better, they could assume that they had worked everything out. And the one person who voted for that the most was now coming down the stairs. Belle was careful not to make too much noise to wake her dad. She headed for the kitchen without a second look at the couch. On her way back into the living room with a full glass of milk in hand, she noticed that the contents of the couch seemed a little fuller.
She peered closely still careful not to disturb her sleeping dad, but almost let out a gasp that could wake the whole household. Marlena raised her weary head from her husband’s chest and instantly hid her eyes from the morning sun. She was not used to the sun being so bright when she woke up, for their bedroom was somewhat more dimmed. It took her a moment to wake up enough to remember why she was asleep on the couch, and when she looked down upon her lover, the warm and compassion that she had been reminded of last night, flooded her heart again.
“Mom?”, Belle asked a startled Marlena. “Oh, hi, honey. What are you doing up so early?” “We’re getting an early start over at Mimi’s today. The guys are finishing up and us gals are going to help Mrs. Lockhart pick out some furniture,” she said in her chipper joyful voice. “That’s great honey. I’m sure you will be a great help,” Marlena said with a smile. The morning chatter awakened John who was buried under Marlena and the blanket. He was somewhat startled, too, by Belle’s presence. “Mmmm… good morning, sweetheart,” he said as he leaned in to kiss his wife on the cheek. “Good morning, Isabella.” “Hi, Daddy!” “Did I hear something about our daughter going shopping for the Lockharts today?” “Yes, we’re going to pick out some new stuff for their house.” “That’s great. Do me a favor, ok? Don’t go overboard, but if it comes to something they really need, but don’t have the money to get it, charge it, ok?” and he gave Belle a wink while handing her his credit card. “Thanks, Daddy, I’ll be sure to be polite and discreet.” “Good girl.”
Before heading back upstairs to get ready for her big day, she had to get answers to her obvious silent questions, “Mom?” “Yes, sweet girl?” “Did you and Dad make up, or….” she swayed off before finishing the sentence in hopes that her mother would do it for her. “Um… no, not exactly,” Marlena tried to answer, and thankfully, John finished her thoughts, “Neither of us could sleep last night, so we spent it talking.” And Marlena added, “And I guess we just fell asleep together,” she glanced at her husband and continued, “So I guess we got some sleep after all.” “Well, you’ve got my vote,” Belle chimed in as she kissed them both and ran back upstairs leaving them both looking at each other with grins.
“Doc?” John began with the intentions of asking why they hadn’t made up yet, but he took the question in another direction, “You want some coffee and a muffin?” Smiling at her husband on the outside, but still sad on the inside that this situation isn’t resolved, she nodded yes. Again she enjoyed the view as her black boxer clad husband made his way to the kitchen for her breakfast. ‘I’d like to have him for breakfast’, she thought before setting herself straight, “Come on, Marlena, you can’t keep having these thoughts and keep stringing him along. That wouldn’t be fair to John.”
***
John joined Marlena in their bedroom after cleaning up after their breakfast. As he walked through the door, he heard the shower running, and it took all his strength to refrain from joining her. Images of her naked body being caressed with hot water flashed through his mind. How he longed to touch her again, to feel her body pressed against his while in the throws of passion. Hell, he just longed to be able to kiss her without her feeling guilty about it. The way she acted the night after they made love on their balcony and the time he stayed with her in her hotel room and she nearly went ballistic still made him a little uneasy at merely passing in the hallway. While John was digging for some jeans to wear, he heard the shower cut off. Knowing her shower habits well, he figured he had enough time to get dressed before she came out.
A penny for my thoughts you say
You want to know what I could be thinking
But as I speak the music starts to play
And the words just somehow slip away
Marlena wanted to tell her husband how she really felt, but she hoped that he could sense her true emotions. Looking at her reflection standing in the bathroom, she could see the strain their situation was putting on her physical appearance. Just as John noticed the tiredness in himself.
Just then, the bathroom door swung open and out stepped a very bare and dripping wet Marlena into their bedroom. She instantly stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of a very bare and startled John. There they both stood, naked, and staring at each other. Sexual tension engulfed the room. Marlena’s heartbeat increased as every second went by for all she could think of was being in his arms. John’s breathing became irregular as he gazed upon her beauty. Both fighting the urge to fall on the bed together and make wild passionate love and relieve some of the pent up tension, they both in unison started scrambling for something to cover themselves.
Read my mind
It will tell you that I love you and
You’re all I ever wanted in a man
You’d see how I feel
What my head won’t let my heart reveal
If only you could read my mind
When she realized that nothing useful was within reach, she finally broke the silence, “Oh, I don’t know why I’m worried about covering myself, it’s not like….” she tried to continue, but John interrupted. “…I haven’t seen you before?” A sly grin crossed Marlena’s face as she confirmed, “Yes.” John moves closer to Marlena while devilishly asking, “Well, then why are you trying to cover yourself, Doc?” “To be fair to you,” she stated matter of factly as he stood mere inches from her hot naked, and still wet flesh.
He continued, “To be fair to me? Why would you say that?” “Well… it’s not like I’m purposely trying to tease you by sleeping with you on the couch last night or walking out of the shower naked. I had no idea you were in here.” “Would I be correct in assuming that you seem pretty confident that you standing here naked makes me want you?” “You would be correct.” “Is that so, Doc?” “Yes. Just like you standing here naked next to me makes me want you.” “Touché.”
One look from you and look at me
I’m trembling like a little girl
I tell myself if I can just believe
Any day now you’ll fall in love with me
Marlena grinned as she walked away from him to get what she had came out for. As she reached into her closet for her robe, he laid his hand atop hers. In a soft, almost heartbreaking voice he said, “Doc, we can’t go on like this. It is obvious what it is that we both want. Why can’t you let me back into your heart? I’m already back in your life, I want to be back in completely.” “John…” He wouldn’t let her continue. He didn’t want to hear another petty excuse for her hesitation. “We’re married for crying out loud! That has got to count for something because we couldn’t end it. No, actually, you couldn’t go through with it even though it was your idea.”
Read my mind
It will tell you that I love you and
You’re all I ever wanted in a man
You’d see how I feel
What my head won’t let my heart reveal
If only you could read my mind
“I’m sorry, John… I’ve got to get to the hospital.” “Fine. Go. Go ahead and go off to work and avoid the subject here,” John said as his tone turned to anger. “John. We can talk about this later, but I’ve really got to get to work right now. I’m not trying to avoid you, it’s just that I don’t have time for yet another conversation that leads us nowhere.” “Whatever,” John angrily says as he slides into his pants and puts on a tshirt while he storms out the door.
Tell me if you feel the same way I do
And tell me that I’m not mistakenly taken with you
Marlena knew that she had to do something very soon. Perhaps today would be the day that she makes a decision. And a decision it would be. “Do I take him back into my life, or leave my husband once and for all? Either way, we can’t go on living like this,” She said to herself.
A few moments later, a fully dressed and ready to go Marlena came down the stairs curious as to if she would find John still there. “Honey?” she called out to him, hoping for an answer. “Out here!” a sad voice replied back. He had walked out on the balcony and was staring out over the city. “I don’t have a full day, so I should be home early… bearing any unforeseen events.” “Ok.” Realizing that is all the response she would get, she added, “I’d like to talk to you tonight when I get home. I think we both know that this situation needs to be resolved.” With that statement, she caught John’s attention, and he turned to face her. Though he didn’t have anything more to add, he felt his heart skip a beat at the thought of that conversation possibly being the end of their relationship.
You’re all I ever wanted in a man
You see, all I need is everything you are to me
If you could somehow read my mind
You would see what I can’t seem to say
If only you could, if you would read my mind
Read my mind
She had been sending him such mixed signals, he honestly didn’t know what to expect. “Are you going to try and talk with Brady today? You know, try and smooth things out a little more between the two of you?” “Yeah… probably. I’ve got some other things I’d like to take care of today, too.” “Ok, then, I’ll see you tonight,” she said with a wink as she turned and left. He said to himself after she had closed the door behind her, “I hope so, Doc. I hope I’ll be seeing you every night for the rest of our lives after this talk.”
Page 32 of 76Marlena stood starring out her office window allowing the cool autumn breeze to caress her skin. Her thoughts stray from her problems at hand to a daydream of her and John in Salem Park during the fall. She pictures them laughing and playing and rolling in the leaves until they retire to their picnic blanket under a shade tree. They always seemed to be able to close off the world even when they were immersed in a public park. John and Marlena had a way to shut out everyone except one another.
Her thoughts of lying under a shade tree with her husband are shaken when she hears a familiar voice, “Marlena? May I come in?” asked Maggie. “Maggie, hi! Sure come on in. I’m just…” she stops when she remembered her daydream of happier time with her husband. “Just what?” Maggie asked. “Oh, nothing. I was just about to leave actually.”
“Going home?” Marlena pauses before getting a sad look on her face as she dreads what she is about to say, “Home. I’m not really sure where that is anymore.” “Home is where the heart is,” Maggie states so matter of factly which brings about a slight chuckle from Marlena.
“Well,” Marlena continues, “I’m not sure where my heart is anymore these days. I’m not sure what my future holds for me now.” Maggie is really worried about her friend. “Marlena, you obviously still feel at home with John. I mean, you have to a little bit, because you couldn’t go through with the divorce.” Marlena jumps in to add, “No, I couldn’t, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t still happen.” “So you’re considering it again?” Maggie asks, as she is unsure of her friend’s feelings. Maggie was the only other person who knew about it since Mickey was her husband. “No, no, I didn’t say that. It’s just.. it’s just. Oh, I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know where I belong, or who I belong with anymore.” With that statement Marlena makes it obvious that she is wondering what the family is saying about her working so closely with another man.
“I know what that look is. You’re wanting me to tell you what has been said about you working with your campaign manager.” “You can read me like a book,” Marlena said with a smile. “Well, actually, not a lot has been said about it. We all know that it was work that brought you two together. Caroline, Shawn, Mickey, nor myself have formed any negative opinions about you. You know that.” “Thank you,” Marlena says as she reaches her hands out to her friend. “You know I never meant to hurt anyone.” “Marlena, you don’t have to explain your reasons or intentions to me, or to any of your friends or family for that matter. We all think it’s great that you’re doing something good for the community. You will make a great spokesperson for the Woman of the Century campaign.” “I know. Maybe I feel as though I have to explain it to myself. I know it has made John jealous, and I keep going over it in my head asking myself how and why did my marriage take a wrong turn.” “I don’t think your marriage took a wrong turn. As usual, Stefano is to blame.”
“No, see that is where I believe that everyone is wrong. I don’t see Stefano’s prints all over this. Not this time. No, I believe that this is something that should have been avoided whether Stefano had any direct influence, or not. See,” Marlena pauses, “John and I have always been safe and secure in our love that nothing could ever come between us. Even though Stefano has kidnapped me and physically held us apart, and Kristen has schemed to keep us apart, we still overcame all of those obstacles. And the one thing that could never touch us would be another person. There was just no way that some other love could ever come between what John and I share. It’s just too precious and too rare. My point is, Stefano is not to blame here. No, we have no one to blame here, but…”
“But what?” Maggie asks, “but John? Do you blame John for this?” Not wanting to admit that he is the reason they are in this situation, “I don’t know whom I blame. I’m past the blaming point. I’m at a place in my life where I need to come to a decision of where I’m going to go from here no matter who is to blame.”
“You’ve mentioned something before about clearing your mind. What did you mean exactly?” “Well, I’m just trying to do things that do not cloud my judgment. I don’t want any one thing to sway my decision as whether I decide to stay with John, or if I move on with my life without him.” “What are some of the things that you’re doing, or avoiding, to keep that from happening? I mean you are both still living at home together, right? How is that not interfering with your decision?”
“Well, yes, we are still living together, but keep in mind that we are also still married and we do have a family at stake here. When I thought I wanted a divorce, I was so bitter and hurt. I wanted out of this marriage because I felt as though I had been betrayed by the one person who I never expected that from… and I’m still dealing with that. I realize now, too, what Roman must have felt to have not only his wife betray him, but one of his best friends, too. I have come to terms with that painful fact and I thank God everyday that Roman has forgiven us and we have moved on. But to answer your question, we are taking precautions to keep my head on straight and to keep from just falling into his arms and letting him sweep me away without clearly going over this.”
“Can you be a little more elaborate, or is that crossing the line to ask?” Maggie says as she is smiling at her friend. Marlena kind of turned her head and scratched the back of it while smiling at her friend’s subtleness, “No, no, it’s not crossing any lines,” she pauses before saying very matter of factly, “We’re sleeping in separate beds. I’ve got our bedroom and he’s got the couch.” “Ouch,” Maggie says teasingly. Smiling Marlena explains further, “We both agreed it was better this way.”
”Is that what you really wanted?” This question somewhat caught Marlena off guard and she tried to cover by asking, “What do you mean?” “Well, it’s just that I know that both you and John are very passionate people, especially when it comes to each other. I don’t want to pry too much, but since there are no lines to be crossed here, I’ve just gotta ask you, how can you stand to sleep in the same house with the man you love so dearly and be a room apart?”
It was obvious that Maggie’s question had upset Marlena. She moved her arm across her abdomen and covered her mouth with her other hand as she so often did when she was trying to keep from crying. As Marlena moved to the window again to regain her composure, she decided to answer all of Maggie’s silent questions and elaborate more on the situation, “After we left the meeting with the divorce lawyers, John and I wanted everything to be so right. And after we did a lot of talking that evening, we thought everything would be. But evidently fate had a few more things planned for us first.” With this said, Marlena starts to become a little more relaxed as if talking about this is making it easier to deal with.
She continued, “As you know, while John and I had started living together again I began working more and more with Damon… my campaign manager. John was really hurt over that. And I feel somewhat guilty about that, er… not for obvious reasons, but because although I was doing that more to clear my own head, I didn’t realize at the time that it was making John so jealous. I had no intentions of making him jealous. He would see me in public having lunch, or at my office talking to Damon and John would always only assume the worst. I was so caught up in my own feelings and confusion that I totally ignored the fact that my husband actually felt really hurt to see me with another man, even though it was strictly a professional and platonic relationship. It’s not like I wanted to go out and see how many men it would take to clear my head. It wasn’t like I figured I’d even the score by having sex with some stranger, no, it wasn’t about that at all. I just needed a change of pace. I needed something to focus my time and energy on.” Marlena pauses because she feels as though she’s not expressing the correct feeling, “I… I just…”
“I think I understand, Marlena. You couldn’t make an honest and objective decision about leaving a man that you were already married to, living together, and in love with without first stepping out of your shoes to take a look at yourself from someone else’s point of view. You needed to give yourself room to think about and absorb what had happened. That makes perfect sense to me, but I can definitely see how John would feel jealous.”
“So do you think that working with Damon was wrong, since even though it was based on a professional situation, we did see each other on a somewhat social basis?” “Do you feel it was wrong?” Maggie asks trying to get Marlena to be honest with herself.
“If you meant to ask if I feel as though I cheated on my husband, no I don’t. Like I stated, Damon and I saw each other on a professional basis that we took a step farther and did so during social hours. I’m not making any excuses about my actions. They were justified and I had no mixed feelings about this man. I knew that one, we had a job to get done, and two, I was still a married woman, but more importantly than that, I was still a woman who was very much in love with her husband. Look, I have no intentions of ever jeopardizing that. I’m not out to get revenge on anybody. I just want to get my life back on track.” The mood in the room suddenly changed to Marlena trying to prove that she had no ulterior motives by working with Damon.
Maggie started to pick up on the tension and decided to get the conversation back on track. After all, the conversation was about whether or not Marlena still loved John, not whether or not she could justify her seeing another man professionally. “Marlena,” Maggie pauses to gather her thoughts and to choose her words correctly to be sure to convey the right point, “just so you’ll know… there aren’t any rumors going around about you and Damon working together. So just put your mind at ease. And no one thinks badly of you for how John took seeing the two of you working together. We were all educated on the project that Victor felt you would be best suited for to represent Titan, so there was no reason to believe that anything else was going on. Now, with that said, we need to help you figure out how you plan to get your life back on track and whether you are going to let John be a part of it.”
“John is still very much a part of my life. Hell, that’s a given considering that we are still living together. I mean, that man is still my husband. He is still the one who I think about all day. He is still the constant in my life. He is still who I rush home to every night.” After this last comment Marlena pauses as if she is processing what she has just said. “When I get home from work and I walk into my penthouse and see him there, waiting on me like he has for so many years, it fills my heart with delight. I’m so overwhelmed with the fact that we’ve finally gotten to where we’d always wanted to be, but at the same time, I’m walking in on a family situation that is plainly and simply put, not happy. Well, happy isn’t the proper word, I should say, I’m walking in on a family situation that’s trying to find happiness. And what makes it so scary is that we don’t know where we’re gonna find that happiness.”
“Marlena, I want to be totally honest with you. I think you’ve found your answer to happiness. You’ve just got to act on it.” Marlena was startled by the realization that Maggie could be right. Has she just been prolonging the inevitable? Was it a given that John and Marlena would eventually find there way back to one another? “Come on, Marlena. If you had to make up your mind right now, what would you do? Honestly.”
“Truth is, Maggie, we spent the night together on the couch last night.” Marlena noticed the confused look on her friend’s face. Smiling she said, “It wasn’t what you think. Neither of us could sleep… we shared a tender moment… and we fell asleep in each other’s arms. Actually, it was quite nice because we both got some much needed sleep.” Her matter-of-fact tone evoked a slight chuckle from Maggie, but after the laughter stopped, Maggie pressed on, “You didn’t answer my question. What would you honestly do right now if you had to decide?”
Marlena pauses for a moment to give herself the chance to honestly answer her friend’s question. She knew that deep in her heart, with John is where she belonged, but could she put all of the pain behind her and continue on? Obviously, she would have to accept the fact that John is the father of another woman’s child, and even though he had given up parental responsibility, J.T. would always been in John’s heart and thoughts. Marlena felt that she was ready for that as long as John didn’t neglect his more immediate family. She needed to know that she was still going to be his only love and that they were going to be his main priority.
After a few moments of silence, the truth finally broke free, and with a smile and tear-filled eyes, Marlena joyfully responded, “I would decide to go home and make love to my husband.” “Ahhh!” Maggie exclaimed and hugged her friend. The room filled with tears of joy and cheerful glee. Once the hugging had slowed, Maggie spoke first as Marlena wiped the tears from her make-up streaked face, “Oh, Marlena… my dear friend. I do believe that it will work out for the two of you. Oh, honey, you know how much Mickey and I love you!” “Oh, Maggie, you and I have been friends for so long. You and Mickey have seen me through some of the worst of times. I love you both so much, too! Thank you so much for everything… for listening… for…”
Maggie cut her off in an attempt to hurry her home to her waiting husband, “Marlena… Marlena…” trying to get her attention. “What?” “Go home to your husband!”
***
“Hello? John Black here.” Her eyes lit up at the sound of his voice, “Hi! It’s me. I’m on my way home, and there’s something that I want to talk to you about.” His heart jumped at the sound of her voice. He had been thinking about her all day and felt badly for arguing with her earlier that morning. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense, what is it?” “Uh… something that is going to change our lives… for good.”
Luckily, John noticed the happy tone in her voice, so he did not jump to any wrong conclusions, “Hey! Don’t hang up! Where are you?” “I’m walking out of my office as we speak.” “So you’re on your cell phone?” “Yes.” John felt that he was about to get his wish, and he didn’t want anything to chance it, “Don’t let me go. Talk to me the whole way home.”
***
John whined on the other end of the phone, “Honey… what’s taking you so long? Are you making a stop somewhere?” “I told you. I’m on my way home. I’ll get there when I get there,” she said teasingly as she stepped off of the elevator in front of her Penthouse door. Luckily she knew that he was standing on their downstairs balcony on their cordless phone, so she quietly crept into the living room. “There’s something that I want to tell you,” he heard her say on the other end. “Turn around,” and he turned to see her standing a mere few feet from him.
His heart leapt from his chest at the sight of her. He was waiting with anticipation to hear what she had to say, “Well…?” “I didn’t want to say this anywhere other than face to face to you, so I don’t need this anymore.” She closed her cell phone as he hung up the cordless. “I love you. And I’m home.” John swept his wife up in his arms and twirled her around so thrilled to see her like he did after she returned home from a month in Africa, and just the sight of her lifted a boulder off of their shoulders.
Page 33 of 76It had only been a few minutes since she walked through their door and professed her love for John and told him that everything would be fine, that he was already on the phone making plans to take her somewhere special. He called his pilot and made all the arrangements, then turned to his wife and teased her with the news. “Honey, where are you taking me?” “Let’s just say that you’re in for a special treat. Just pack your bags for a warmer climate; nothing too fancy, this will be a casual trip. Although you might want to bring one really nice dress… just in case. But hurry up!” “John! You know I can’t pack everything I need in a hurry!” He teased, “Then I’ll help you. I’ll get all of your hair stuff and you grab your make-up, and let’s go!” “What about my clothes?” she insisted. He grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her waist, “Baby, where we’re going… you don’t need any clothes,” and then he kissed her.
Within the hour, they had already made it to the plane, boarded and were preparing for take off. John had carried her onto the plane blindfolded. When he finally put her down and removed the blindfold, she was in awe of what he had done for her. He carried her to the cabin where the very same bed that they first made love in on their honeymoon laid waiting. John had convinced her to change into something more comfortable and then he would tell her what his plans were. John fixed them both a glass of champagne while he waited for her return.
Her heavenly body stepped into full view in front of her husband who then clad only his silk black boxers and his silk black robe. “What an angelic beauty,” he remarked in awe of her form. She bore an above the knee nightgown with two thin layers of see through fabric in the shade of yellow. The sides of her below the shoulder length curly hair was pulled up into a ponytail. And she was barefoot, something that drove John wild, which allowed her to show off her newly painted orange toenails. “There is no end to your beauty, Doc. Every time I see you, you are even more sexy.” She snapped his boxers against his skin with her fingers as she replied, “You’re not too bad yourself, JB.”
As he handed her the glass of champagne, she couldn’t help but probe him for hints as to where they were headed. He held his glass with one hand while he placed his other on Marlena’s shoulder and wrapped his finger around a strand of her hair. “I had an idea… What do you think about going back to Hawaii and doing it all over again? To make it right this time?” She was at a loss for words. How could anyone turn down the sweetness and sincerity in his tone?
“Oh honey!” she seductively exclaimed as she placed her free hand on his bare chest, “That sounds like a very… lovely… idea.” He rose his glass in a toast, “Here’s to getting it right this time, and to every time, for the rest of our lives,” and they clanked the rims of their glasses together before partaking in the drink.
I don’t need a lot of things,
I can get by with nothing
Of all the blessings life can bring,
I’ve always needed something
But I’ve got all I want
When it comes to loving you
You’re my only reason,
You’re my only truth
John set their glasses down and then paused to look at her with adoring eyes before placing his hands gently around her neck. He pulled her face closer to his so that he could hover his lips over her mouth to excite her. This sent shivers down her spine. He concentrated next on her neck. It was so bare, and calling out to him, that it would have been a sin to not indulge himself with it. He received the response he was hoping for as she titled her neck back for more. “Oh, Doc. We’ve got a long flight, with plenty of time to kill. I don’t want to rush this moment.”
He wanted to take that opportunity to remind them of the love they shared; of the vows they made to each other. “A little over a year ago… I made you my wife… again, but this time for good. I stood before God and our family and friends and vowed to love only you forever. That has never changed, nor ever will. I also promised my fidelity to you, and I believe with my whole heart that I have not strayed from that vow. My mind and my soul has never, nor ever will be joined with another. And I thank you… for finally accepting that and believing that, too. I love you, my beautiful wife, Marlena.” And with his signature gesture, he continued with a wink, “Always have… *wink*… Always will.”
Marlena smiled the biggest smile he had ever seen. She was absolutely thrilled to have him back in her life again full time. There was no other place that either of them could be. It was her turn to speak, “I can honestly say that I have come to accept what has happened. And I, too, remember our day… when I vowed to love and honor only you, and promised my fidelity to you. You…,” she smiled, “You are my life, my love, my happiness. I have finally begun to live my dreams with the man I love. And that man… that man, has always been you.”
I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy
From Heaven’s gate
There’s a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you
She took a slight step back from him as she grabbed his hand to lead him to the familiar leather couch. She removed his shorts as she nudged him down onto it as she stood before him for a brief moment allowing him to take in the sight of her once more. After she allowed him one last look, she lowered herself down on him, straddling him in the process. He let out several moans as she began smothering his mouth, neck, and ear lobes with kisses; deep seductive kisses. She felt his desire for her grow as it touched her naked flesh under her nightgown. They touched each other with a passion that they only experienced at times like these; when they were desperate to hold on to each other.
Between frantic mouth devouring kisses, he breathlessly stated, “Oh baby, do you have any… *kiss*… idea how difficult it has been… *kiss*… for me to stay away from you, and not touch you?” “Mmmmm.” “This morning, when you came out of the shower, and we were both standing there… Oh, God, I wanted you so badly.” She added, “And that burning desire definitely carried over to this moment, didn’t?”
He continued his journey on her neck that lie inches away from him; his hands slid up and down her waist as he slowly moved her onto him. She joined him in their very own slow seductive rhythm as she placed her hands on his shoulders and began squeezing his flesh with every thrust. “Oh God, that is so sexy,” he breathlessly whispered. “What is?” “Your neck… the veins in your neck… the way they poke out when you are so turned on.” “Well… you’ve definitely got me turned on.”
You’re the hope that moves me
To courage again
You’re the love that rescues me
When the cold winds rage
And it’s so amazing
‘Cause that’s just how you are
And I can’t turn back now
‘Cause you’ve brought me too far
They were both about ready to explode in ecstasy, but neither of them wanted their journey to end so soon. He gripped her around her shapely rear to get ahold of her while he stood. She moaned in passion as his hot flesh held onto her lucious rear as he used the leverage to thrust her up and down on him while he made his way to the bed. He sat on the edge of the bed and while still holding her in his lap, he removed her gown; the last remaining piece of clothing fell to the floor. John’s tongue made a quick exploration of her nipples before positioning himself so that he could get her on her back without separating from her body.
He held himself over her naked body and peered deep into her eyes, “I don’t want this to end so soon, Marlena. Be right back.” And he got up to get something from the champagne cart. When he returned he saw that she had propped herself up on her elbow and lying on one side, “Whatcha got there, Sailor? Something for me?” He paused with a bowl in one hand to look her up and down, “Oh yeah… I’ve got something for you.” She couldn’t help but smile at him while he stood with all of his manhood protruding toward her.
John sat next to his lovely wife and scooped a lump of whip cream up in his fingers. “For me?” she said playfully. He cocked his eyebrow as he gently spread it over her abdomen. She shivered at the coolness of the cream, and his hot tongue created even more goosebumps as he licked the cream from her flesh. After he had rid her skin of the whip cream, he reached into the bowl and pulled from it a single strawberry.
He whispered, “Only one strawberry… two of us.” She raised up to meet him and then laid him down in her place. It was her turn to have some fun. She placed one end of the strawberry in his mouth and then took the other end in her own. She chewed it slightly as a frown crossed her face. “Something wrong?” he asked as she dipped her fingers into the whip cream. “I want some whip cream with my strawberry,” and rubbed the remains from her fingers all over his lower region. His breathing intensified, “By all means… please indulge.” And she did.
I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy
From Heaven’s gate
There’s a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you
Marlena was eager to take control and show her husband her enthusiasm. Fortunately for her, John was able to control his passion so their lovemaking could last for hours. They rolled around on the bed, changing positions to further explore each other’s bodies, and to prolong the inevitable. But as the moon was finding its place high in the sky, they, too, found their heavenly paradise in the plane as their sounds of passion floated through the cabin.
They wrapped themselves around each other’s bodies as the moonlight illuminated their bodies and they returned to their regular breathing. “Oh Doc, you are so wonderful.” “Mmmm… making love to you is so easy when you’re as good as you are,” she replied. “Mrs. Black, I say we are quite a team, both in and out of the bed,” he teased referring to their session on the couch.
“John, my sweet husband… I’m really glad that you had this idea to return to Hawaii to do things over.” “Me, too,” he continued, “And this time… well… after this trip, things will never be the same again. They will only be better.” And they nestled in closer to one another as the plane carried them swiftly through the night. They slept in each other’s arms, under the sheets, with their legs intertwined, just like their souls where but a few minutes before.
Page 34 of 76″This is absolute paradise,” she said as they entered their home for the next few days. It was a privately owned beach house whose owners happened to be acquaintances of John’s through Alamain Industries. John met them through Vivian in the early nineties. When John discovered that he was an Alamain, and thus an heir to the Alamain fortune, he generously donated a large sum of money to the research of their daughter’s life threatning disease. In return for his efforts, they had been gracious enough to offer their vacation home anytime that he liked.
The house sat on two acres of land that backed right up to the Pacific Ocean. On the grounds, palm trees surrounded the in-ground pool and a nearby hot tub to give it a secluded atmosphere; a place that John hoped to spend many moments with the love of his life. There was also a two level patio that had the level closest to the house fully screened-in and contained its own fully stocked wet bar.
Inside the house was decorated with traditional island decor, complete with sailboat paintings and wicker furniture. The grand room was surrounded by glass walls and open windows which gave it an airy feel. There were three other rooms besides the kitchen and dining area: a sunroom, an extra bedroom, and the master suite. The master bedroom came with its own spacious bathroom that included a Jacuzzi that sat in front of a window that overlooked the ocean. There was also a door which led to a private balcony that also had a great view of the ocean. It was nothing short of paradise.
John took their bags to their room while Marlena wondered through one of the back doors and out onto the beach. As the cool ocean breeze blew through her hair, she felt the warmth of his strong arms wrap around her waist. “Isn’t it the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” she asked. “Nope. But you are,” he stated as he kissed her neck. She turned around to offer herself to him and there they stood barefoot in the sand and explored each other’s mouths.
A few seconds past when Marlena came up for air and asked breathlessly, “So… what are we going to do out here for several days all by our lonesome?” “Oh, I’ve got a few things I’d like to try to pass the time.” “Oh?” she asked curiously hoping that he would give some type of insight as to his plans for their romantic getaway. “Yup, but guess what?” And she completed his thought, “But you’re not gonna tell me, right?” He tapped his index finger on her nose as he answered, “Right. But I will tell you this. Tonight we’re going into the city to dine and dance at the best restaurant.”
***
John went all out for his wife by taking her to dinner in a fully loaded, black, stretched limo. He even had the driver bring a dozen yellow roses so that John could deliver them to Marlena personally. “They’re pretty, but no where near as gorgeous as you are,” he said as she gracefully arranged them on the table by the bedroom window. Marlena clad a low-cut, strapless red dress and matching red shoes. Her hair hung down as her light curls danced on her shoulders. John wore a black tux with a bow tie that matched the red in Marlena’s dress. And he also wore a sexy black vest with red accents.
Before they left in the limo, John led Marlena out on their bedroom balcony. He had a gift for her and wanted to give it to her before going out for the evening. “Oh, John,” she said, “you’ve already given me so much,” but she knew in her heart that the gifts would keep coming all the years that they were together. John had always enjoyed showering Marlena with jewelry and gifts, and to be honest, she did enjoy it.
As she opened the box, she placed her hands over her mouth in astonishment, “Oh John!” It was a diamond anklet with tiny red garnets which accented the sparkle of the diamonds and gold. John had given her a garnet necklace once before to show his loyalty to her, and he felt that maybe after all they had just been through, she needed another reminder. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.” “Oh, honey!” she cried as she wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. “I love you, Doc.” “Thank you so much,” she replied, “I love you, too, JB.”
“Will you allow me to put it on for you?” She seductively answered, “Of course,” and he bent down on one knee, pulled her foot out of her red shoe, and placed it on his other knee. After he fastened the clasp around her ankle, they kissed and then left in their limo.
After a while, they had finally arrived at their destination. He had taken her to the finest restaurant in Hawaii and treated her like a Queen as they dined and danced the night away. The restaurant had a very romantic setting and they were fortunate to dance in a place that was bathed in candlelight.
***
John had spent most of the night dancing the night away with his lovely wife. The restaurant treated them both like royalty, which John of course just loved. In fact, Marlena had enjoyed it, too. She always allowed herself to indulge in John’s exotic trips, and this time was no different. And after they had tired themselves out dancing, John took his wife back to their island hideaway to bask in the beauty of the moonlight.
“Wow,” she said as she leaned back in the hot tub that overlooked the ocean, “I can honestly say that I have never done this before. This is a first.” “It’s a first for me, too, Mrs. Black,” he responded. After a quick pause to kiss his wife, he continued, “And I would love it if we could do this more often.”
She knew there was more to his comment than just casual chit-chat, but she decided to let him tell her at his own time. Lucky for her, she didn’t have to wait too long. “Aren’t you even a little curious as to how we could make that happen?” he asked. “Of course I’m curious. I figured if there was more to what you said, then you’d tell me.” He joked, “Since when do you have the patience to not probe me for information?”
The warm night air helped set the mood for a romantic night like no other. John was determined to make this a trip that neither of them would ever forget. “I have been torn over when I should tell you this, but I think now is a good time.” He definitely had her attention. “Mrs. Black, how would you like it if we were able to do this any time we wished?” She could not find the words to answer such a question, so he continued, “I wanted to run this by you first, but it’s pretty much a done deal. All I need is your approval.”
Smiling, she asked, “What on earth could you mean?” “This place. How would you like to own it?” Her eyes got big as she listened to his details, “It’s for sale. And I am number one in line to buy. What do ya say? Allow me to have the honor of buying my wife a beach house on ocean front property. All we need to do is sign the papers and it’s a done deal.”
She was thrilled, of course, and they celebrated the event by making a toast to their new purchase. “Ya know,” she began, “buying a house, or piece of property with your spouse really makes you feel married. I like it.” He couldn’t hide that sweet smile as it crept across his face, “Me, too. You’re right, it does make me feel closer to you. If that is possible.”
She continued, “And it’s such a quiet, secluded place. No one else is around, no one to make any unnecessary noise. We have all the privacy we can stand. It’s like how I picture being on the moon. No one around to interrupt our love.” His eyes got big like a child on Christmas morning seeing his presents under the tree for the first time. He was inspired with a thought, “That’s it! That’s what we can name this place!” His excitement was contagious, as she was eager to hear his idea, “What? What?” “We can name it Beach House on the Moon.” She joked, “Isn’t that the name of a Jimmy Buffet cd?” “I think you’re right!” And in a sensual expression, she added, “I love it.”
After relaxing in the hot tub, they spent the rest of the evening lying with each other under the sheets as the Pacific winds gently blew their curtains and the their room filled with the sweet salty smell of the ocean. The moonlight danced into their room to add just enough light to see each other’s features at a close distance, which was a distance that they loved being in. With no interruptions, the only place to get was closer. Closer to each other’s bodies, to each other’s soul.
Page 35 of 76John walked behind his wife with his hand on her arm to guide the way, “Are your eyes closed?” “Uh-huh.” She could already tell that he was leading her to something outside for he couldn’t hide the feel of the sand between her toes, or the ocean breeze on her skin. “Here we are. Now you may open them.”
John had spread a blanket out across the sand with two lit candles at the two corners of the blanket which sat away from the ocean. Next to it, sat two picnic baskets; one contained food and the other contained a bottle of their favorite champagne and ingredients to mix a few drinks. “Oh my, love. You did all of this… for us?” “Of course,” he said with his famous smile that drove her wild.
She gathered her sundress that was swaying in the night breeze in her hand, and nestled down onto the blanket atop the cool sand. “John, it is absolutely breathtaking out here.” “I’m glad you like it,” and they kissed before he continued, “Would my lovely wife like something to drink?” “Sure, what do ya have?” “Well, tell ya what. Let’s start off with a glass of champagne, because I’ve got something I’d like us to make a toast to, and then I will make you something fun. You know… something to loosen you up.”
He took out her favorite gold rimmed wine glasses and poured them both a glass of Chardonnay. “I would like to make a toast to us, and our new beginning. This time around, may everything turn out right.” Marlena had something she wanted to add, “Before we toast, I would just like to say that although things haven’t gone the way we had planned, I wouldn’t necessarily say they were wrong. After all, we have each other, and that is something that I would never change.” “I’ll toast to that,” he replied as they brought the rims of their glasses together in unity.
He did not want to rush the moment, but he had something he wanted to give her. He remained calm long enough for them to take a few sips of wine, and then he couldn’t stand it any longer. “Alright, enough of that,” he said taking their wine glasses and setting them back inside the basket, “Now for a special treat. But first, how ’bout a Screwdriver for the pretty lady?” Marlena played with his senses, “I was hoping for a little sex on the beach.” His jaw muscles tightened as his nostrils flared with excitement, “Oooo, I like the way you think, but we’ll get to that a little later.”
She had already downed two Screwdrivers before he finally could not wait any longer. He had yet another present for his lovely wife. “Honey… you just gave me a diamond ankle bracelet!” “I know, but this is something I really want you to have. The ankle bracelet is actually what I picked out to give you for your birthday, because I wanted to remind you of my loyalty to you, but… Ok, ok, they can both be your birthday gifts, how bout that?”
He continued, “Ok, you know how we have talked in the past about buying a house with a swimming pool and a big backyard for us and the kids to enjoy? Well, that idea still sounds wonderful to me, and theoretically we still can, but I figure the kids only have a few more years at home with us, and… well… since we both agree on this place, then it will be our first house purchase together.” She squinted her eyes in suspicion, “What are you up to, John Black?” “Just open the box.”
She couldn’t fight her curiosity any longer even if she had tried and the red bow was torn off in a flash. She slowly removed the item from it’s resting place unsure of what it meant. She looked curiously at John who decided he had better offer an explanation, “Do you know what it is?” She began studying it closer. “Look close at it, you’ll see.” Her eyes then got wide with excitement, “Oh! I see! It’s a moon! It’s for our beach house on the moon!” “Yeah! You like it?” “I love it!”
“Do you have your bracelet, I can put it on for you,” he casually stated. “Do I have my bracelet? John, there are very few times when I don’t have it. Here,” she reached her arm up to him so that he could add the charm to the bracelet. That was all it took. Her soft skin under his rugged touch was enough to drive all sense of control from his body. The candlelight that he had created now helped to create a sense of desire for the beauty that lie in front of him. The way the ocean breeze sifted through her blonde mane, and tossed the strap of her sundress down her shoulder revealing more of what John had his eyes on.
The way you’re bathed in light
reminds me of that night
god laid me down into your rose garden of trust
and I was swept away
with nothin’ left to say
some helpless fool
yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
you’re all I need to find
so when the time is right
come to me sweetly, come to me
come to me
John made his way closer to the beauty before him and began gently exploring her mouth with his, while his hands made their journey across Marlena’s bare shoulders and back. She moaned with every stroke of his lingering fingers. He carefully pried his lips from her mouth as their tongues shared inseparable passion. He gasped, “You’re so beautiful, Doc. The way your skin looks in the candlelight… it’s radiant. It reminds me of the way the moonlight shines on the ocean waters.” His words caused her cheeks to flush with a pink hue.
love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
can you hear the dolphin’s cry?
see the road rise up to meet us
it’s in the air we breathe tonight
love will lead us, she will lead us
John was breathless from his mouth’s journey across her shoulders and exposed skin. He spoke with desperation and lust, “I’m so glad you’re here with me. It feels so good to be free to love you again… to show you how much I love you.” She replied breathlessly, “We’ve only got us and this moment right now. It’s just us, from here to eternity.” He agreed, “Our love led us back to each other. It will lead us now.”
Immediately, John cradled the back of Marlena’s neck as he laid her down on the blanket below. The candlelight still illuminating their vision. Breathless whispers rang through the air as they each professed their love for each other. “I only want to make tonight special for you, Mrs. Black.” Still moaning at his every touch, “Every night with you is special, my love.”
oh yeah, we meet again
it’s like we never left
time in between was just a dream
did we leave this place?
this crazy fog surrounds me
you wrap your legs around me
all I can do to try and breathe
let me breathe so that I
so we can go together
The moon watched over them as John made love to his wife, and two people reconnected again on a level that only they know. Their gentle, yet mighty thrusts carried them to a familiar place where only each other existed. The familiar way in which they touch, the loving way they held on to each other, it was obvious that they had not forgotten how good each other felt. As the lovers approached their heightened destination, John paused to take in the beauty below him and to soak in the moment, “Do you hear that?” “Mmm?” “The dolphins. They’re singing with us, Doc.”
love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
can you hear the dolphin’s cry?
see the road rise up to meet us
it’s in the air we breathe tonight
love will lead us, she will lead us
The dolphins continued to sing after John and Marlena had made love. Their bodies lie together wrapped in a blanket as they starred up at the stars loosing themselves in each other’s embrace. A cool breeze blew in from the ocean causing Marlena to shiver. “You ready to go in,” he asked. “Oh, no, I could sit out here with you forever.” He agreed, “It really is like eternity being out here with you like this. Doc, you make me so happy.”
life is like a shooting star
it don’t matter who you are
if you only run for cover, it’s just a waste of time
we are lost ’til we are found
this phoenix rises up from the ground
and all these wars are over
They each had the ability to make the other happier than anyone else could. The love they shared was sacred and pure. And when they got the chance such as this to spend some quality time alone, they did not disappoint one another. “Hey, Doc, how ’bout another drink to keep you warm?” She thought for a moment, “Hmmm… well that sex on the beach was pretty good. I’d hate to ruin the taste.”
Page 36 of 76They had only just eaten breakfast together before Marlena was already back at work. John didn’t like the idea of her going to work on their first day back at home, but she insisted that she had a few things to check up on before leaving for Paris. That was true, she couldn’t just totally ignore any last minute schedule changes.
Marlena finally entered her Penthouse later that evening after a long day at the office, “Honey? Honey, I’m home,” she stated as she stood at the table fumbling through the mail. John heard her from the kitchen and as he entered the living room, he saw that her back was turned from him. Marlena felt his warm breath on her neck as he reached around the front of her and removed her navy blue blazer from her shoulders.
She wore blue jeans, a white button down shirt, and a blazer, one of John’s favorite ways to see her dressed. “Hey, foxy lady, how was your day?”, his breath like electricity on her skin. Still holding the mail and starring out into space, she replied, “Mmmmmm… it’s fine now.” “That’s my girl,” he remarked as he turned her around to explore her mouth.
“Mmmmm… where are Belle and Brady?” “Well, Belle is staying the night at Chloe’s and Brady… Well, Brady is on a date.” Marlena’s eyes widened. “A date? With a girl?” “Yup. A bona fide date.” “You know this for sure,” she questioned with excitement.
“I met her, Doc.” “What?” “Yup… he went to pick her up and then they stopped back by here. Oh, Doc, he so wanted you to meet her…” She interrupted, “Oh I know, I’m so sorry. The one day I get home late. What was she like?” “I liked her. She’s very pretty… and apparently very smart. I think you’d like her, sweetheart.”
“Smart, huh?” “Yeah, she goes to Salem U, and she’s a business major. She’s going for her MBA.” “Wow… our Brady dating a business woman… whodathunk?”, she said teasingly. They were both so proud of him and wanted the best for him. And it helped that he was now interested in someone who was trying to make a life for herself.
Marlena was full of questions, “How? Where? When did they meet?” “Slow down, slow down,” he teased, “I’m pretty sure he met her at school, probably when he went and applied, but as far as any details, I don’t know. I didn’t want to push him for anymore information that he was willing to give. He’ll tell us, Doc. When he’s ready.”
He was right. She vowed to herself right then that she wouldn’t make a big fuss over this news. She would act very casual about the whole thing the next time she saw Brady. They were all starting over again, and she didn’t want to say or do anything that would set them back. They had all fought so hard to get where they are today, and for that, she was grateful.
Changing the subject, John started gently touching the nape of her neck and fiddling with her top button, “So, you know what this means, don’t you?” She sensed the seduction in his tone, “Hmm?” “It means we’ve got the whole house to ourselves for uh… several hours.” “We’re alone?”, she teased. Mimicking his wife, “Oh, we are so alone,” and he began planting soft kisses on her neck, which enlisted many soft moans from her.
Not wanting to seem too easy, Marlena decided to tease John just a bit, “So… what would you like to do… *moan* this evening then… since we are sooo *moan* alone?” John instantly picked his wife up in his arms without loosing contact with her lips. He gave her a few more gentle kisses, “Oh, I’ve got a few ideas I’d like to try,” and he carried her up to their bedroom.
***
Marlena’s eyes widened at the sight of the room. John had filled their bedroom with flowers and soft candlelight. There was even a pallet on the floor for them in front of the fireplace decorated with pillows and blankets. To the left of the fireplace, next to the french doors, stood a small table for two decorated with a white lace tablecloth, gold candles, gold trimmed dinner plates an utensils, and two yellow roses that stood as the centerpiece.
Marlena’s breath escaped her at the sight of the room. “It’s beautiful.” John hugged his wife tightly, “It’s all for you, Doc.” “Thank you!”, she sobbed. He said with a sweet smile, “It’s my pleasure. Come.” John led his wife to the pallet that lie in front of the gentle blazing fire, and they both took their seat.
“I thought we deserved a night to ourselves. To celebrate.” Marlena agreed, “We do have alot to celebrate, don’t we?” “Yes, we do.” She continued, “But didn’t we just celebrate… in Hawaii?” Playing along, he replied, “Oh, so now that the honeymoon is over, the romance ends? Is that what this is all about?” Her tone lowered to a seductive one, “Now you know that is not the case.” “Then what do ya say we get started?”, he teased, “Dinner won’t be here for another hour, or two…”
John began unbuttoning her shirt as she ran her fingers through his thick black hair. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to be with you again?” he asked, his face still buried in her neck. “You just had me in Hawaii, my dear, or have you forgotten?” “Forgotten? Oh no,” and he continued sucking on the nape of her neck, “But you should know by now that I never get tired of making love to you… in fact, I dream about it all day long. And on days when you’re late coming home,” he abandoned her neck for a moment to peer into her blazing eyes, “well, forgive me, it makes me rage with jealousy and that makes me horny.”
Marlena liked it when he talked that way to her; it made her feel wild with passion and control, and in turn, it made her feel sexy. She was very confident in the way she handled herself and in such a professional manner, to the world. Everyone knows her as the sophisticated woman that she is, but few have actually witnessed her unadulterated sensual side, although many have suspected it. After all, she was a knock out tall blonde woman with the brains and body to make any man weep with weakness, “Well, then maybe I need to make you a little more uh… jealous.”
John came back with the only thing he knew to say, “As if being hornier could make me want you any more. You’ve got me, Doc, right where you want me.” She leaned back slightly to admire her lover with a fuller view, like she was sizing him up and down, “Well… almost anyway,” she seduced as she finished undressing and laid down in front of the fire as she motioned with her finger for him to join her. It was obvious what they both wanted.
She spoke with a low sultry voice as he lowered his body onto hers, “I love you, John.” He dove straight to her neck, and then headed to the top of her breasts, “I love you, Marlena.” Moments of kissing her body his raspy voice broke the silence, “Doc… you feel like silk on my skin. I want to feel more of you.” She nodded in her special way that told him she was ready for him, as she wrapped her hand around his bare back and pulled her lover down on her so that she could have all of him.
***
John and Marlena laid in each other’s arms in front of the fire trying to recapture their regular breathing after having made love. “I don’t know how you do it, Mr. Black, but every time we make love, it gets better.” “Mmmmm.” He barely got in a moan in agreement before the doorbell rang. “Be right back, my love.”
John returned with a basket in hand. He quickly removed his jeans and T-shirt again to reveal his silk black boxers. “What’s that, honey?”, a curious Marlena asked. “Dinner,” he said with a wink. He couldn’t resist teasing her so. “What kind of dinner?”, she sensed his sarcasm.
“I had Chez Vous cater your favorite. Care to join me, Mrs. Black?”, he asked as he took her hand and helped her to her feet. “Yes, give me just a moment,” and she took off to the bathroom, but not before she grabbed the sheet that they laid upon while making love and draped it around her sweat soaked body. John noticed how it clung to her curves, and he was reminded how great it was to have this woman back in his arms again. And it was no secret that he was glad to have her back in his bed again, too.
When she returned, the sight of her stole John’s breath. She clad a black silk lacy top with spaghetti straps that stopped at her midriff, and a matching pair of lacy silk shorts that he could practically see through. Her lightly tanned skin from the Hawaiian sun accented her form.
“Good God, Doc! Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Whew, baby… you are hot!” His huge smile stretched across her face when she saw how much she turned him on. “Does it make you… jealous?” “You have no idea,” he said as his hand grazed her rear, as she passed by him to take her seat in the chair he had pulled out for her.
Moments later when she sat her fork down, her eyes instantly glanced up at John’s. They were full of seduction and mischief. He knew she was up to something in the seconds before she raised her foot to his lap and began rubbing his crotch. He could not help the effect she was having on him. His eyes rolled back in his head as the thin fabric between her bare foot and him teased his skin feverishly.
“Doc…” he could barely speak. “Shhh… No words. Just enjoy it,” she so sensually demanded. “Oh I do. It’s just that I sure hope this means you’re ready for round two, because oh God, do you feel good!” A wicked expression grew across Marlena’s face, “Hmmm, should I take that as a challenge?”
The confusion on his face made her continue, “You said this feels good,” referring to her foot seduction, “Is that a challenge to see if I know of anything that might feel even better? Because if it is,” her foot pressed into him letting him know that she is enjoying every minute of her seduction, “I’ve got something else that feels way better.”
Marlena stood and took his hand in hers and led him out onto their balcony, but not before discreetly grasping the opened champagne bottle with her other hand. She turned and with much spunk, she hoisted herself up on the banister crossing her legs in the process. He continued his stride to her and placed his hands on her knee, “Oh no you don’t,” and he spreads her legs apart and steps between them.
John gave her a wet kiss and then reached for the champagne bottle, “What’s this for?” “For you to drink,” she replied matter of factly, “off of me.” He swallowed hard. As if he needed any more help being turned on. “Out here?” he asked. She could not hide the amusement in her voice, “Why not, we’ve done it before.”
She couldn’t resist speaking her mind so she lowered her voice and whispered in his ear, “Besides, fucking you out here is so unbelievably sexy.” “Doc…” he began with a light hesitation, almost as if he was disagreeing with her. She sensed his unease and quickly took offense, “What? Can I not do something that makes me sexy to you?” The moment was about to take a turn for the worst if he did not do something quick.
“Marlena… you do not have to pull some outrageous stunt for me to think you are sexy. You are the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen! You don’t have to be coming on to me to be sexy.” “Yeah, but it’s a part of it,” she stated. “True,” a smile grew across his face, “Doc what you do in bed is unbelievable! But that is not the only time I think you are sexy. And it sure as hell isn’t the only reason I love you.”
His words were making sense to her, but she could not help but have this overwhelming feeling take over. “Baby… you look so sad. What’s wrong?” he asked. She almost could not say the words they were so pitiful, but her feelings were very real as she spoke in the most childlike voice possible, “I just… I just think about you and Hop… Gina on that submarine, and I… I…”
It was just too difficult for her to say, so he took a chance and finished her thought, “Are you comparing yourself to her?” When she looked up at him her eyes were on the verge of spilling over with tears, “Can you blame me?” “Baby, you have no reason to feel jealous of that. It was not an act of love. Sure Gina and that John may have been involved, but that was not me. That is not the man I am today. I’m not sure if I can ever express to you enough that very important point. And I choose to believe that if I had more time to adjust, I would have remembered you, felt you, something!”
She was now practically crying, “But you didn’t, and now you walk around with this memory of being with another woman. You know what it was like to be with her, and I can’t help but wonder if you still think about it.” A silence grew between them as neither wanted to say anything in fear making it worse. But Marlena’s curiosity was getting the best of her, and after she had all the awkward silence she could stand, she spoke, “I want to know what it was like, every gory detail.”
“Don’t do this,” is all he could muster. “I want to know, John.” “I thought we were past this. I thought we made up and spent several wonderful days reliving our honeymoon.” Her sarcastic tone cut deep, “We are obviously not past this. Ironic isn’t it? We pretty much relived it, didn’t we.” She referred to the fact that they had gotten together, gone to Hawaii, and came home about to fall apart.”
John did not have the will to fight with her. They had just made love in front of the fire and shared a nice romantic dinner together. He did not want the night to end on a negative note, so he did the only thing he knew to do. He approached her again slowly. When he reached her now crossed legs, he gently laid his hands on them, and peered deep into her eyes, “Marlena… I do not remember enough to even tell. It is so hazy and blurred, I don’t see myself with her. I only have the memory of being there. That is all.”
There was a part of her that did not want to believe him, but his sincerity really pushed her to accept his plead. Both of them said their sorry’s and made up, realizing that dragging this out would only lead to a disaster. John stopped his wife from heading back inside after she hopped down from the banister, “Hold on. Where do you think you’re going? I’m not done with you, foxy lady.” The twinkle in his eye caught hers, “Oh?”
“Now here’s something I do remember… a few moments ago you were about to let me drink some more of that champagne. And I believe you wanted me to drink it off of you. Change your mind already?” A seductive grin crept across her face as her eyes filled with mischief. She did accept his plead as the truth, but she wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to prove to him that she could be sexy, sexier than usual anyway. She softly replied, “Nooo,” her tone sent chills down his spine.
“Good. Because the thought of fucking you out here is so unbelievably sexy,” he reiterated. She could not help but smile at his remark. He grabbed the abandoned champagne bottle and removed the cork. He raised his hand to her chin and gently tilted her head back and out of the way exposing that one vein in her neck that drove him wild, “Now this… is going to be cold.” He slowly poured the bubbly liquid down the nape of her neck as her breath escaped her.
He caught her eyes again as his told the story of what he was about to do to her. Her lover dove into her neck licking all of the stray liquid he could find and when he had covered all of that territory, he moved further down. She again gasped for air, as he poured more champagne onto her hot flesh, only this time it was in her lap and down her tan legs.
She moaned at every swipe of his tongue as he drank the liquid from her body. In a heated moment, he stood facing her once again and tilted her head back, this time prompting her to open her mouth. He filled her mouth with the sparkly liquid. It began spilling out and he quickly dove to her mouth to help her drink it.
They spent several moments quenching their thirsts as they each drank the Chardonnay from each other’s hot bodies. They moved across each other’s flesh with grace and tenderness, yet with an urgency like no other. John placed his hand on the small of his lover’s back and dipped her slightly to pour the remains of the liquid down her abdomen. He knew that he would not be able to reach her sweetest spot without removing the last garment, yet she would not agree to standing on their balcony naked.
John was about to slip back inside to retrieve her silk robe when her words stopped him, “Go ahead and take them off,” her tone was extremely low and seductive, “I want to feel the breeze on my bare skin as you take me.” John swallowed hard. “I love it when you talk like that,” he said as he returned to kissing her abdomen.
He stepped in close to her to help shield her body. He wanted to give her all the confidence and comfort in the world that it took to keep that moment from ending. With swift and steaming hands, he removed both her silk top and matching bottoms and swooped her up into his arms.
Her lover carried her to the nearby banister and sat her down atop it. His biceps and chest muscles now ripped from carrying her. Looking at the goddess in front of him, “Doc you are so sexy. I don’t know what’s gotten into you tonight, but I like it.” Her eyebrow cocked, “Well hopefully you will be what’s gotten into me.”
John swallowed hard again as he stepped up to her. Instinctively, she tilted her head back inviting him to her neck. He accepted and with one smooth motion, he entered her as he once again dove to her neck. John and Marlena made love with the breeze in their hair and the moonlight reflecting off their glistening backs. They had finally reunited and their time together was not rushed, for they had only the future to look forward to, and that future involved them both together.
After catching their breath from the passionate act they had just shared, John took Marlena in his arms again. He was carrying her inside as she casually asked, “So were you able to try all your ideas that you had for this evening?” “Oh baby,” his tone so sweet in reply, “I will never run out of ideas to try with you.”
Page 37 of 76It stormed all night long as Marlena lie on the downstairs couch like many nights before unable to sleep. She didn’t mind it too much, in fact, over the years, she had come to make good use of her time alone. Usually, since her body was used to minimal sleep, she was not tired and she was able to catch up on her paperwork, transcribe her medical notes, or even work on her speech and campaign strategy. Tonight was a little different. She chose to lie on the couch in the dark, and watch a movie while listening to the storm outside.
Meanwhile, John was led down the stairs by the flickering of the light. He noticed that the flickering was coming from their television set and it was there he found the culprit. He said in a whisper, “Doc. What are you doing down here?” “I couldn’t sleep. Oh, I hope I didn’t wake you with the noise of the tv.” “Not at all. I just started tossing and turning and reached for you, and when I realized that you weren’t by my side anymore, I got up to find you. I missed you,” he said lovingly.
She saw the love for her in his eyes. His eyes always told the truth about how he felt. She learned that most during their affair, and it still held true today, because she sensed that he needed her. And in fact… she needed him, too.
“Well, Sailor… I’m right here.” Her words seduced him while he gazed upon her body. She clad only her black silk robe, that was half undone revealing her bare skin, and her charm bracelet. John and Marlena had always preferred sleeping naked, and now that their kids were grown up, they could indulge themselves without the fear of a lone sleepwalker entering their bed unexpectantly, and seeing her lie there with her cleavage barely hidden made John’s heart beat faster.
She watched his breathing become rapid as she slowly pulled the belt of her robe to reveal more of her chest. “Why don’t you come over here and… keep me warm?” In one swift movement, he was sitting beside her, looking down on her barren chest.
He said nonchalantly, “It was getting lonely in that big ole bed by myself. I could carry you back upstairs…” his voice trailed off as his eyes looked her up and down. Marlena answered with a sly grin, “No. I’d rather stay right here.” Her spontaneous desire to have him on their couch evoked a laughing response from John, “Honey, the kids…”
“What? They’re not going to come down here. Believe me, I know from experience that I’m the only one in this family that doesn’t sleep the whole night through. We’ll be alone till breakfast,” and she winked at him before continuing, “and besides… it’ll be fun.”
John joked, “What will be fun… you trying to hold in your moans?” They both laughed and realized that they’d better quiet down, or their love party on the sofa would end before ever beginning. She joked right back with him, “Hey, you’re one to talk!” “Well, ya know what, Foxy Lady? When my sexy wife is next to me, it is difficult to contain my…” and with eyebrows raised, he continued, “enthusiasm.”
John began his slow and seductive climb on top of her body, as he held himself above her while with his free hand, he untied her robe completely, and moved it to the side. He lowered first his lips to hers, kissing her gently with sweeping motions that sent chills down her spine. She loved the way he teased her.
Finally, when he could stand it no longer, he slowly pressed himself against her warm skin. “Oooo, Doc. Your skin feels so good on my body.” “Mmmm, as does yours,” she replied as she pulled him to her mouth once again.
John was ready to take them to a place where they could forget about all that was around them, and experience only their happiness and desires. “Marlena… are you sure you can keep quiet,” half asking for his own reassurance. “Well… having experienced it before,” she was referring to the knowledge of how much she enjoyed it, “… I’ll just moan in your ears as I’m nibbling on them.”
John’s emotions overtook his thoughts, ‘Damn she is so sexy. I never thought I’d find a woman who is as wonderful and sexual as she is. She drives me absolutely wild… and even more so when we are in the throws of passion.’ While he was thinking to himself, he decided it was time to begin their journey, and carefully pulled her blanket on top of them to cover themselves incase his wife had been wrong about her being the only restless one at night.
John and Marlena’s bodies flowed together slowly enough not to make any extra noise, but swiftly enough to make them mad with passion. Marlena did indeed create soft moaning sounds, but controlled them by nibbling on his ears and neck, and kissing the tops of his shoulders. John did the same, although at times, he was sure he would loose himself in the fight to withhold all passionate sounds.
After what seemed like an eternity, they finally began their descent from their heavenly paradise. John’s favorite thing to do while he and his wife enjoyed their new ‘high’, was to lay gentle kisses on her lips and neck, which in turn made her journey a wild one.
“You never cease to amaze me, Doc,” he said gently. “What you said the other night, you know about being sexy to me… You never have to worry. You are so hot,” and he dove into her neck. Her laughter brought them back to reality, “Whoa, Doc, shhhh! Don’t wake the kids.” “I can’t help it. I like it that you think I’m sexy,” she replied with lustful eyes.
***
Marlena teased him about making her work up such a sweat that she convinced him to get his wife a glass of water. John insisted on the two of them kicking back a bottle of wine. So, he went thumbing through the cabinets looking for the corkscrew when he came across something else that caught his attention. It was an empty bottle of Vodka. John did not mix many drinks with that particular liquor, and he knew that of late, Marlena had only touched the Jack Daniels. Still, he was curious.
“Doc,” he said as he walked back into the living room, “What’s this doing empty? I just bought it.” Startled she replied, “Oh! Well, um… I was trying out a recipe that we had in Hawaii, but it didn’t turn out,” she began to laugh, “I’m afraid I used it all.” “Then why didn’t you throw it away?” “Because. I didn’t want an empty alcohol bottle lying around in the trash in case it got broken. I figured I’d put it in the cabinet until either you or I threw it out.”
He returned with two glasses and a bottle of wine. Her reply must have satisfied him because he walked back into the kitchen without another thought. They sat in the dark for a while drinking their wine, and toasting each other, as the lightening clashed and the thunder crashed in the sky. Stormy nights were not Marlena’s favorite, but since she and John had gotten back together, her fear of the storms had started to diminish.
Marlena soon found herself being pulled closer to John’s body as he intertwined their legs as they lay under the blanket. Being close to him like that always made her feel safe. “You warm enough, Marlena?” “Mm’mm. Your body heat always keeps me warm.” The two lovers drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms to the storm’s sweet lullaby.
Page 38 of 76The Blackbird soared through the international skies to its French destination as the members on board the plane were getting restless. The kids were eager to get to Paris and begin their family vacation. On board were Belle, Brady, and Shawn, along with John and Marlena, of course. Belle was ecstatic that her boyfriend could accompany her two days before his parents were to join them. And it was all Brady could do to not jump out of his skin over the fact that his parents agreed to allow his new girlfriend join them.
And John… words could not describe how John was feeling. He finally had Marlena back in his life full time and there was nothing that could ever make him happier. He loved her with a passion that he had only experienced with Marlena; no other woman had ever had his heart the way she did. And he couldn’t wait to get to Paris to start their family vacation to treat Marlena to some special times. “Hey, Sailor… Whatcha thinking about so hard?” Her words startled him out of his fantasy enough to sit her down next to him and wrap himself around her for the rest of the flight.
***
It was early afternoon and everyone gathered at the banquet hall for Marlena’s campaign speech. Damon and the other board members’ flight had arrived in Paris shortly after Marlena’s did, and they were all ready to get down to business. Marlena was pacing the floor with her bottled water in hand. John noticed her unease and tried to soothe her by gently rubbing her shoulders, “You nervous?” “Mmmm… a little,” she said as she squinted her nose.
“Come on, I’ve never known you to be nervous about anything.” “There aren’t many things that make me nervous,” she tried to joke. She continued, “I’m just worried that something will go wrong. That I’ll drop my note cards and screw up the whole thing. Victor has so much riding on this, ya know!” She was trying her best not to loose it, as she started pacing the floor again. “Victor obviously trusts you because he knows that you are the best. And I know that, too.”
There was a rap at the door and Damon informed her to get ready for they were about to get started. She turned to all of them, “Could you all excuse me for just a moment? I’ll meet you all right outside, there’s something that I’ve got to do.” As everyone was leaving, John came up to his wife, “I know you need a few minutes alone, so I’ll be right outside if you need me.” “Thank you for understanding.” “Of course, sweetheart,” and he kissed her and left.
Marlena had only a few minutes before she was to give her first speech for the Woman of the Century campaign. She knew she had better make wise use of her time. The only thing left to do was pray and then she would be ready.
***
The campaign appearance went off without a hitch helping to calm Marlena’s worries and cement her in first place in the running for Woman of the Century. The others had finally arrived in Paris from Salem during the early evening. John and Marlena had taken the kids down to the restaurant in their hotel for dinner and to celebrate Marlena’s success. They had overheard Bo as he made a commotion entering the hotel lobby as he tripped and almost fell over all of Hope’s luggage. Everyone said their hello’s and the Brady’s and Carver’s were invited to join the Black family dinner after everyone had checked in to their rooms.
Shortly after, everyone returned to dine with the Blacks, and Bo snuck up behind Marlena and nearly knocked her out of her chair as he kissed her cheek. “You better be careful, my husband might be the jealous type,” she joked. “Well, John told us about the positive response your new fans gave you earlier and I wanted to be the first one to congratulate you… outside of your husband, of course.”
It made Marlena feel good to know that she had the support of her family and friends around her. It was indeed a happy and exciting time, but it was also a little overwhelming, and she was proud to have made it through her first speech, the nervous experience that it was. And now, she was finally able to relax and put it all behind her. For the first time in a long time, she was happy. She was with the man that she loved and finally free to love him and enjoy their family vacation.
John had asked his wife to join him on the dance floor for a round, or two. “I’m guessing that the lack of enthusiasm in your step is because of the incredibly long day you have had. What do ya say to saying goodnight to the others and letting me take my wife upstairs… for a nice… long… hot relaxing bath?” Marlena couldn’t agree more to that idea if it had been her own.
Minutes later, the two love birds were soaking in the bubbles. “I’m so glad we were able to meet with the attorney to sign the house papers before we left for Paris. It feels good to know that we actually bought a house together,” she said as she rested against his chest as the hot soothing water surrounded their bodies. “And I can’t wait to get my lovely wife back down there again,” he teased, “What was the name of that drink we had? Was it sex on the beach?” And Marlena teased, “Oh… that was a drink we had?”
Page 39 of 76Marlena was gazing into a nearby shop’s window when she felt a chill run down her spine. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. There was a presence that she could not explain, but she sensed it was of dark descent. Marlena slowly turned around to face whatever it was that waited.
“Do I know you?” Marlena asked the elderly woman. She wore a huge hat that practically covered her face from recognition and she bore clothing that was not the native wear of Paris. The woman spoke in a hurriedly and mysterious tone, “Don’t let him forget. Remember… The truth is in the child.”
And the woman disappeared in the crowd as swiftly as she appeared, leaving Marlena baffled. “What… Who…?” Marlena had no idea what had just taken place, but something was out of place about the situation, other than the obvious. But she couldn’t put her finger on it. Although, for a moment, she had the feeling that the mystery woman’s words had to do with John’s past. Yet the more she thought about the situation, the more she felt that it had just as much to do with her past as it did with his.
***
Marlena stepped from the bathroom where she had been getting ready for their dinner out. She was headed toward the armoire to retrieve her evening gown. From the terrace, John noticed that she was wearing only a white satin slip that looked more like a white teddy. It definitely caught John’s attention as he crept up behind her and began running his hands down the length of her body. The cool feel of the fabric on top of her hot flesh nearly made John orgasm at the thought of her.
She turned around to face him as she instantly wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her mouth. She never could resist it when he was that close to her. Their kiss quickened to that of a passionate one, and just before they could have wound up being late for their reservations, a knock on the door saved them. But having to break such a kiss with his lovely wife in order to answer the door, was not something was too thrilled about having to do. “Ugh… I’ll be right back… don’t go away,” and John started for the door. She just smiled as she returned to the bathroom with her dress in her arms.
A few minutes passed when she thought she’d better check on John. She stepped into the foyer questioning, “Honey? Who was at the door?” John stood silent holding something in his hand. He was stiff and did not even hear his wife calling to him. She finally stepped in front of John so that he could see her, “John? I’m talking to you. Who was at the door?”
It was her touch that finally snapped him out of the trance that he had somehow buried himself in. He answered, “Uh… the bell man. He delivered what was apparently an urgent message.” “What is it?” He held out his hand to give her the white card. The way he moved, his sudden change in demeanor, frightened her. She took the object from his hand and began reading it.
It was a postcard with a picture on it of Maison Blanche. It read, “Remember the house. Remember the memories. Remember the truth. The child can help.” The thing that made it even more odd was the fact that it was postmarked in Paris; with the date of when they first arrived there. It definitely had Marlena’s attention, “What do you think this means?” Yet he was just as baffled, “I dunno.”
***
Lucky for Marlena, John kept good on his word to take her out to dinner. It was good for them to be able to get away just the two of them, even though this was a family vacation. Of course Belle and Brady didn’t mind since it gave them an opportunity to be with their boyfriend and girlfriend, respectively.
John and Marlena now stood on their hotel balcony which overlooked the streets of Paris. The soft buzz of the cars below taking their passengers to their respective destinations humbled the famous city in a way, but Marlena was so thrilled to be in the most romantic city in the world with the man whom she loved. So many times before they were in this city, and they weren’t together. Some great moments were lost by them not having expressed their feelings for each other sooner. But things were different now.
The cool night air chilled her skin. “Here, take my jacket,” John offered. “I can’t believe it is only fall. So much has happened in such a short amount of time.” John agreed with his wife, “I know. Christmas is just around the corner, and yet, it seems like we’ve been through so much that it should have already come and gone.” Marlena couldn’t resist the opportunity to apologize yet again for the situation they had just survived, “John… I’m sorry for all the turmoil that I have put us through.”
He placed his finger over her mouth, “Nah… not another word. It’s over. We survived it. Let’s drop it. We’ve got such a bright future ahead of us, let’s not spoil it by concentrating on the past.” The past. Could John completely drop the idea of dredging up his past again, especially now that something new has come into light?
“John… there’s something that we need to talk about.” He felt he knew what it was and decided to beat her to the punch, “Look, if you’re concerned about the postcard, don’t be. Let’s just forget about it.” But she was not convinced, “Can you just forget about it?” “I promised you that I would give up this search for my past. It is more important to me to have our future than to discover something bad about my past that could ruin it for us.”
“Actually, John, you promised me that if you were to dig into your past again, it would be because I supported it one hundred percent, and that I would be involved one hundred percent.” “Doc, we’ve already seen what the truth about my past could do to us. Are you really wanting more?”
Marlena wanted so badly to tell John about the woman who she had encountered earlier, but she wasn’t sure about how to bring it up. John’s past was a very delicate subject and it was obvious to her that he would never truly give up the search. She couldn’t really blame him, afterall, the mystery woman’s words continued to echo in her head like drums. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she herself was involved somehow.
“What is it, Doc? You got quiet all of a sudden. What did you want to talk to me about?” She decided it would be best to come right out and say it, “Something happened today, while I was out shopping. Something that I had put out of my mind until tonight when you received that postcard with Maison Blanche on the front. John I ran into the most mysterious woman today.” He listened intently as she described every feature regarding the stranger.
“I can’t even believe that I remember so much detail about her. She was only there for a second, or two and then she vanished.” “Vanished?” “Vanished into the crowd… or wherever, but, John, that is not the most interesting part. Her words, she told me the oddest of things. She said to me, Don’t let him forget. Remember… The truth is in the child.”
John’s jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes widened as if he had seen a ghost. His skin lost all color in a split second. “Honey?” she asked in concern, “Talk to me. What are you thinking?” He finally snapped out of his trance-like state, “What she said… it was so much like what is on the postcard. Do you think it is possible that she knows who I am, who you are, and is trying to tell me something about my past?”
Page 40 of 76Bo and Hope had rushed J.T. to the hospital while Marlena and John had been out to dinner. Bo had tried to reach John, but for some reason his cell phone was not picking up the call, and there was no answer on the hotel phone. “Where could they be?” Bo said to himself. Shawn reassured, “Maybe they went for a walk, or a carriage ride after dinner. Give it a little longer.” Shawn noticed how difficult this was on his mother, “I’m just glad that you found me and Belle. Mom really needs us right now.”
J.T. was undergoing surgery to try and save his life, but so far the doctors were having no such luck. It seemed as though his Fetal Alcohol Syndrome was not getting any better afterall. The doctors had braced Bo with the news that J.T. might not make it through, and he knew that Hope would be devastated… as would John.
***
Meanwhile, John and Marlena were still out on their balcony discussing the elderly woman that Marlena saw earlier. “John, I don’t think that she was just some crazy, attention craved, local trying to cause trouble. The more I think about what she said to me…” “What? Tell me what you were about to say,” John demanded. “I tried to put it out of my mind, but after you got that postcard, I… I think that it could mean something more. And I’ve got the strangest feeling that it has just as much to do with my past as it does with yours.”
“So, are you telling me that you want to search into my past again?” “I’m telling you that maybe we should consider it, yes.” “You’re sure about this?” he questioned. “I think so. John… I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m involved somehow. In a way that we could never have dreamed of.”
John asked, “Well, what do you suppose we do first?” “I don’t know. Do you think that someone is watching us, watching our moves?” He tried to act nonchalant with his reply, but she couldn’t help that his affirmation scared her. “Ok, so the search for the past is back on again.” She added, “And I’ve got your word that I will be involved one hundred percent? I don’t want to be left out on this one. I want to be right there by your side every step of the way.” “Even if what I find out will damage us?” “John, after what we just went through, I don’t think there is anything else that could be damaged. Besides, I don’t think that what we are going to find will hurt us. Don’t ask me to explain it. It’s just a feeling I have.”
***
“Damnit! John should be here! Where the hell is he?” demanded a worried Bo. The doctors had just come out and confirmed their worst fears… that J.T. would not make it through the night. Tests, blood and DNA, were being ran to cross examine the results with his medical records which were faxed from Salem University Hospital. An autopsy was sure to reveal FAS as the cause.
“Mr. and Mrs. Brady,” the very calm doctor demanded, “There has been somewhat a bit of confusion. Neither you, nor your wife’s blood or DNA match your son’s. It’s unscientific…” Before the doctor could complete his report, Bo interrupted, “Of course I don’t match, I’m not the boy’s father!” “Well where is he? He should be notified immediately!” “Thank you, I know that! He’s here in Paris with us, but no one seems to know where he and his wife are at the moment!”
***
The mood of the evening changed to more of a light hearted one when John offered a toast to seal their new quest. The white wine that John requested the front desk to have delivered was a perfect option for the occasion, and there was a sparkle in Marlena’s eyes that John had not seen in a long time. It signified that she was secure in what they were about to embark upon.
John hoped that look was also one of passion as he moved in closer. Lucky for him, it was, and he slowly pulled the straps of her dress down her shoulders. He had just begun an exploration of his wife’s mouth and body when there was a banging on the door. Marlena was startled and instinctively recomposed herself. John yelled out, “Keep your pants on, I’m coming!” Shawn and Belle nearly fell into the room when the door flew open. “Mom! Dad! Where have you been all evening?”
John looked at his wife who was wondering the same thing… whether or not their appearance revealed the obvious, “We went to dinner and then we’ve been here ever since. Why? What’s wrong?” Marlena ran to the desk phone to check for a dial tone after Shawn informed them that there was no answer. “There’s no dial tone.” John ran to the desk and traced the cord with his hand, bringing up a severed end, “No wonder. It’s been cut. Now how could this have happened?”
But before they could search for any evidence, Belle blurted out what happened to J.T. Marlena’s hands moved instantly to cover her mouth, “Oh my God!” and then she was by her husband’s side just as fast. John spoke the only word that he could muster, “No.”
***
“I don’t understand, doctor, how could I not be a match? How could Hope not match,” John demanded. Everyone was in a state of utter confusion regarding the outcome of the night’s events. J.T. had died of FAS in a Paris hospital, and while he was there, medical tests showed that it was impossible for John, or Hope, to be his biological parents… something that was believed to be true for quite some time. “It is as much a mystery to us. I’m sorry,” the doctor offered.
Marlena led her husband to a nearby chair to try and offer some sort of comfort. “Doc, how can this be? I don’t understand.” “I don’t know, Honey. Bo and Hope just left for the hotel. They’re heading home first thing in the morning. Would you feel better if we left with them, too?”
John knew how important this family vacation was to them, and they had such high hopes of getting everything back on the right track, and now this. “Um… no, sweetheart. I know how much our family needed this time away. I don’t want to be the reason it gets tossed aside. Besides, there is nothing more I can do for them. All I have to concentrate on now is dealing with the fact that J.T. was never my son.”
An hour had passed by the time they got back to their hotel room. Marlena made a call to Scott, their pilot, while John got ready to take a shower. “I guess I can look at it this way, Doc, I had freely and without reservation, given up the chance to raise him as my own. I decided weeks ago that I would severe all fatherly ties to him.” Marlena rubbed his arm that lie next to her on the bed, “But it doesn’t make it any less confusing, I know. But give it time. Bo will get to the bottom of this.”
While John was in the shower, Marlena used that opportunity to check on Hope, “Bo, it’s Marlena. Has Hope calmed down any?” The voice on the other end answered, “A little. She just doesn’t know what to think that he was not her baby. If J.T. isn’t, then who is, and where is he? It’s just crazy.” “I know. Bo, don’t buy commercial flight tickets, the jet is fueled and ready to go. Just give me a call when you’re ready, whether it’s in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning.” “Marlena, that’s not necessary.”
“Bo, it’s bad enough loosing someone you love and having to fly home. You deserve to mourn in private. And really, it is not a problem. The plane can be back in time to pick us up.” “You won’t be going with us?” he asked. “No, we’re going to stay in Paris for one more day, but we’ll be back in time for the funeral.” “Honestly, Marlena, I’m really anxious for the funeral to be over with. Hope needs the time to say goodbye to J.T., but then we’re going to find her missing son.”
“Um, Bo… you know that we will be there for you and Hope to help with anything that we can. It’s just that I feel as though you and Hope may need to handle this journey together, without others interfering, and I don’t want to intrude. And Bo, something’s come up with John and I that has… well… the search for John’s past is back on again.” “Oh? What happened?” “We’ve gotten two mysterious leads since we’ve been in Paris.” Marlena continued to fill Bo in on the situation and let him know that they would attend the funeral and be there for the family, but then they, too, were off to solve their own mystery. Of course, John and Marlena would be their for them at any time.
John had stepped out of the bathroom wearing a towel around his waist as Marlena hung up the phone. “Who was that?” She replied with caution for she didn’t want to stir up any sad emotions, “I called Bo and offered the plane to them.” “Thank you, that was very thoughtful. Did they accept?” “He didn’t want to, but I convinced him that it would be easier on them all to mourn in private.”
“You’re right. And you know what? I am more determined than ever to find out what that postcard means. This is the second time I have had to deal with finding out a child whom I loved was never mine. It’s not fair, Doc. I want to find out something concrete about myself before it drives me crazy.” “And we will. I promise,” she soothed her hand over his damp forehead. “Thank you,” he said as he allowed himself to get lost in her embrace.
“John, you haven’t said anything else about the line being cut. Why is that?” “I’m sorry, Honey, I didn’t want to alarm you.” “John, we’re about to get knee deep in this search, I don’t think alarming me is of any concern. I need to be informed at all times about what is going on.” She had a point. “Well, Doc, the way I figure it is someone wanted to make sure that we had no interuptions before that postcard could be delivered. My guess is that whoever it was may have followed us.”
The thought of being watched sent chills down her spine, but if she was going to be involved, she would have to learn to deal with it. It was obvious that there was someone out there who wanted John to remember something, but who and what, baffled them. For now, though, John’s emotional state was more important than anything. She held him all night long that night, not even getting out of bed herself. They both were so physically and emotionally drained that not even insomnia could interfere this time.
Page 41 of 76J.T.’s funeral had come and gone, and with it some of the hurt had been lifted away from Hope and John. Hope was sad for the boy she thought was her son, yet at the same time, she felt positive about her son still being alive somewhere. Only they had no idea where. John was saddened that an innocent child had to suffer such a disease, and yet he was confused about whether or not he had another son. There was obvious suspicion that when they find Hope’s biological child, it won’t be his. John couldn’t help but think that yet again, Stefano had toyed with their lives.
John and Marlena arrived in New Orleans safely and checked in to their hotel with the intentions of getting a good night’s sleep before starting their search. Marlena sat in their suite’s living room alone. Another night that sleep did not come easily for her, yet John had noticed that the past few nights, she seemed to sleep alot more than usual. When confronted, she brushed him off saying that it comes and goes, but he knew better, and he feared that something was wrong.
***
The next day back in Salem, Bo got a call from one of the doctors at University Hospital informing him that there may be a lead to find Hope’s baby. Dr. Wesley had put together a document that stated all of the births on the same day J.T. was born, and it listed the parents’ names and vital information, such as health insurance, if there was any. Bo and Abe had spent hours going over the list and tracking down the parents of the babies with no such luck of matching their blood types to Hope, Bo, or John.
Finally, one day Bo was down to his last call when he had a sudden chill run through him. Concerned, Abe asked, “Buddy, you look as white as a ghost. What’s wrong?” “Abe… we’ve called and cross checked all of the babies except for one on this list, and I have come up empty handed every time. We were so certain that this list would lead us to all the answers.” Abe agreed, “We’ve still got one more to check. Maybe this one will be the lucky one.”
Bo turned even whiter, as he knew what he was about to say would not come easy. “Abe, I don’t know how to tell you this, but… baby Isaac is the only one left on the list.” “I see,” Abe didn’t know what to say, but after a few moments had passed had finally come up with a solution. “I know what we’ve got to do. If we don’t, none of us will ever be able to rest.”
***
The day after they arrived in New Orleans, John decided they would start their search at the site of Maison Blanche. “I know we’ve been there before, Doc, but you never know what could turn up after years of different weather patterns. Besides, maybe we’ll get lucky and run into the person who sent me this postcard,” he waved it at her while watching the road in front of him. “Well call me cautious, but I’m concerned about what would happen if we do.”
The area had grown considerably since the mansion had burned down several years ago, and finding anything at all would be an absolute miracle. They started by looking for a hidden entrance to the underground dungeon, for John refused to believe that it had caved in, or worse, had been filled in. John searched the grounds up and down and found nothing.
“Damnit!” John was so sure that he would fine some sort of evidence at the burn site that his patience ran short after hours of searching and coming up empty handed. “It just pisses me off that we can’t even find a way to get down into the dungeon! I know there is a way! I know it!” he screamed. Marlena tried to reassure him, but the fact was, she wasn’t convinced that the dungeon still existed.
Night had begun to fall, when Marlena stated, “John, honey, it’s getting dark. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to be out here and not be able to see ten feet in front of me.” He knew she was right, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was still more to be found. “I’m sorry, Doc,” he said as he put his arm around her to comfort her, “I didn’t mean to keep you out here all day. Tell ya what… let’s go grab some dinner and then go back to the hotel, kick back with a bottle of wine, and go over again what we do know.”
***
Bo paced the hospital floor waiting on news about baby Isaac. The doctors had agreed to do tests on Isaac with Abe and Lexie’s consent, especially considering that Abe was the police commander, and if foul play was believed to be the case, the hospital wanted to know it had a jump on the situation before the media turned it into a bloodbath. Still, it didn’t make it any easier for either of them.
An eternity seemed to pass before a doctor showed his face. “Mr. and Mrs. Carver,” they jumped up and practically knocked the nurse’s station over running for it. “I’m afraid we have a problem.” After performing several tests on the newborn, it was found that Marlo had in fact not given birth to the boy Abe and Lexie had come to know as Isaac. And in fact, Hope was a perfect match to the baby’s DNA.
Lexie was understandably upset, yet Abe had to do what was right. “Bo, Hope… the only logical thing left to do is find his father.” One of the doctors added, “Well, Mr. Carver, that wasn’t all that difficult. We know exactly who the father is.”
Hope held her breath and prepared for the worse. She thought she had already survived the worse when she learned that another man was her baby’s father. But now, all of those fears were revived in the form of dread that she would learn that somehow Stefano Dimera, the Brady family’s mortal enemy, would be her son’s biological father. Afterall, it wasn’t totally out of the question since Gina and Stefano were close.
***
He handed her another glass of red wine, as he commented, “That’s your third one since we’ve been back at the suite, not to mention the two glasses at dinner. Since when can you hold down your liquor?” She just shrugged her shoulders, “Dunno. Guess I really hadn’t noticed with all that has been going on lately.”
John didn’t seem too concerned with his wife’s reply because he was too consumed with looking over the postcard for the millionth time. “Ya know, Doc, I still can’t believe that Abe couldn’t find one suspicious fingerprint on this card. Heck even the bellboy who gave it to me looked suspicious!” “Yeah, but, John… the bellboy had on gloves. They all do, so he fit the part perfectly. Nothing suspicious there.”
His brows furrowed at her reasoning, for she had a valid point, and she was about to make another one. “John… have you considered that the person who is going to all this trouble to get you to search into your past is also making it difficult for us to find anything concrete?” “Yes, I have. But I think that this person will allow us to find what we need to find when the right time comes along.”
“I don’t understand,” she commented. “Don’t you think it is odd that the phone cord was cut in our Paris hotel at the very time in which everyone was at the hospital trying to find us? Which was at the same moment the bellboy delivered that postcard? My guess is that whoever it is who wants me to remember will give us a clue, when the time is right.” She believed him, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that they were in for a long and possibly dangerous search.
Page 42 of 76They couldn’t believe it, especially Hope. She turned to Bo in anger, “I thought you told me that we had not been intimate while I had Gina’s memories!” Bo didn’t know how to respond to her question other than to say, “We haven’t been.” But Hope came right back at him, “Then how the hell can you be my son’s father?”
***
The morning sun had begun to warm the air as John and Marlena enjoyed their breakfast in the hotel courtyard. They had tried to get a good night’s rest before starting their search again, but neither of them were actually able to relax after what they did not find at the site of Maison Blanche. It was always a disappointment when they came up empty handed on facts regarding John’s past, but it was not something that came easily.
“You know,” she began as she chewed her fruit and waved her fork in the air, “I realize that this is not a vacation, but I can’t help the good feeling that being in New Orleans always gives me.” John just nodded. We was somewhat distracted, which was understandable. “For some reason… Well, I know that this place holds very bad memories of being held in a dungeon, but for some reason, I feel drawn to it. I get a warm feeling deep inside when I think of being here with you.” She assumed it was because they had spent some time here when they got back together a few years ago.
John finally broke his silence and uttered with a swift motion and quickly drank the last remains of his orange juice, “I want to get back to the Maison Blanche site,” and he threw some money down on the table. He had practically exited the courtyard when Marlena finally caught up to him. “What’s your rush?” “I know we’ve missed something. I’ve got to find it, and we’re wasting time here.”
In the Jeep, John sped to the overgrown site that once held the great white house as Marlena nonchalantly commented, “We had to eat, ya know.” He eyed her from the corner of his eye and with a cocked eyebrow. Marlena began verbally reciting some of the facts that they had learned about Stefano and John over the years, “Ok, we know that you knew Celeste and Rachel from Maison Blanche. We figure that they were here in the early 80’s during your brainwashing stage, or at least around that time.” John agreed, “That’s a fact.”
“We also know that Hope supposedly stayed at the mansion at least for some time while Stefano used her those four missing years, which implies that this place holds some major importance to Stefano. I mean, that is obvious because of what he did to you here, but even more obvious because he took Hope here. I’m thinking it is important to him because of it’s location. It’s on the Gulf, a port that ships into and out of the States. Alot of transporting takes place here. And Stefano has had his hand in many businesses. It is also very possible that he may have had Peter and Kristen here, too.” John was skeptical, “It’s possible, but most of their childhood was spent in Aremid.”
John had a point, but Marlena didn’t want to overlook any small detail, “Yes, but there is nothing left in Aremid. We know that because we’ve been there. Rachel is the only link to Stefano that we ever came across there. Now, sure, we could be missing something, and it might be a good idea to go back there…” Before Marlena could finish, John had cut her off, “No! I don’t want to go back there and just leave it at that.”
It was understandable that Aremid held awful memories for John. He was not only framed for murder, but he also learned that the woman he was supposed to love, didn’t one hundred percent believe in him. Of course, one good thing came out of Aremid… he finally admitted his love for Marlena, the one person who did believe in him one hundred percent, and if it weren’t for his letter, she might have never found out about his love.
“Okay… so Aremid is out of the question. We need to find out if there are any other links to Rachel or Celeste here in New Orleans. I mean, if those two women knew him for so many years, it is highly unlikely that they never talked to anyone outside of Stefano and his people. I guess he could have kept them hidden from civilization, but given it was such a long period of time, they could have made an innocent slip to anyone. Trouble is, where would we look to find that person?” “I dunno, Doc. But you sure have become quite the little detective all of a sudden.” “I told you I wanted to be involved. I’m not about to make you do all of the work. I’m in this, too. I’ll carry my own weight.” He looked out at the open road as he reached over to hold her hand, “Thank you, sweetheart.”
***
By mid-afternoon, John had almost given up the faith that he would ever find a clue. He had reached a dead end and needed something, anything to set him back on track again; to give him a direction. Marlena was all out of ideas other than the old standby to visit Aremid, but she knew better than to suggest it now. An old Oak tree shaded them from the blazing sun and as John sat on one of the thick roots and fiddled with a piece of grass, he noticed something nearby.
“What did you find?” she asked. “It’s a baby’s rattle.” “A baby’s rattle? What the heck is that doing out here?” she wondered. Just then, she noticed that John’s eyes had rolled back in his head and his hands began to shake. “Honey, what’s wrong?” He was silent, but his body was growing limp. Marlena had to practically knock him to the ground to shield him from hitting the trunk of the tree as he fell. Luckily, the grass was somewhat thick and his knees buckled slightly to prevent a hard impact to the ground below.
When he finally came to, he couldn’t shake the odd image that had entered his mind. “John… were you having a flashback?” He peered at her through glassy, watery eyes. He knew she was his wife, but he couldn’t quite get his full vision back. “John, tell me what’s wrong.” “It’s blurry.” “Your vision is blurry?” “Yes.” She causally stated in her familiar doctor tone, “You’re dehydrated. We’re leaving now. We’ve got to get some fluids in you.”
She tried to help him stand, but John refused, practically pulling her down in the process. “No! We’re not leaving until I find something to lead me in another direction.” “John, it’s not worth risking your health over. As a doctor, I know how important it is for you to get some fluids,” his disappointment was evident, “Look, we can always come back. Bring the rattle with you. Maybe it will trigger some kind of memory.” He stated matter-of-factly, “It already has.”
***
Bo demanded, “Aren’t you at least happy that I am the father of your child? Isn’t that what you wanted all along?” Hope realized how harsh she had been on Bo, and in fact, she was very relieved to have learned the truth. Neither of them knew or remembered how it happened, but were both determined to find out. The time around John and Marlena’s wedding is so hazy from details.
Hope knew she was possessing Gina’s memories at that time and had went to Europe, where Bo eventually caught up with her, and was able to reach some of Hope’s personal memories deep down inside. Oddly enough, Bo was there in Paris with the Gina persona for several days before reaching Hope inside, and although the facts point to him having stayed there a while, there are only so many events that he remembers. He recalled that there were some gaps in his recollection of what took place.
“Hope,” he began cautiously, “I don’t know how much time passed during these blackout spells. My guess is that they probably lasted several hours… at least. Anything could have happened.” Hope stated, “Look, I just don’t believe that I would have been with any other man except for you, Bo! I don’t care what John or anyone else thought!”
***
Marlena had made it back to their hotel room safely with John in her care. Several hours had passed since he had the dizzy spell and was recovering nicely. The phone rang. “I’ll get it, you rest,” exclaimed Marlena. It was Bo. He explained everything to Marlena that had happened over the last two days since they had been in New Orleans. She could barely believe it herself, and was now faced with telling John that he did not father a child with another woman. Under normal circumstances, that would have been good news, but it only confused Marlena. That news almost destroyed their marriage, and now she has learned that was almost for nothing.
A few minutes later, John had learned the truth. “Wow,” was all he could say. “How does that make you feel, John?” “I dunno. I thought that this would be what our marriage needed, but…” She completed his though, “But that would mean all of our troubles would have been in vain.” He placed his hand on hers for comfort, “We need to talk.”
John told her about how he experienced a disturbing image of a baby earlier at the burn site. Obviously it was brought on by the rattle. The question is, was the image an actual memory from his past, or a coincidence, or rather an omen, of the news he would learn regarding the paternity of Hope’s baby? Referring to a time while he and Marlena were in Miami, he stated, “I think it was an actual memory. I only believe in happy omens.” She smiled at the memory of the two of them sharing strawberries while on the search for what happened to her during her five missing years.
“Well, I hate to put a damper on an already bad situation, but I am having a difficult time believing that Bo fathered Hope’s baby,” she admitted. “Why is that so hard to believe, Doc?” “John, Bo came to me. He came to be for advice about Hope, who was actually the real Princess Gina by this time. He admitted to me that he and Hope had not been intimate for quite some time. My guess would be not since they were to be married in 1996.” “Ok, so he came to you for advice on how to reach a woman that was obviously not going to be reached. Maybe you misunderstood what he was asking of you.”
She continued, “John… why would he lie about something like that? He specifically said that they had not been together and that he needed advice on how he should go about making the next time romantic, but appropriate, given her current condition.” John’s frustration was evident as he jumped up from the bed and slapped the flower arrangement that sat on the table, “Well, then that is just yet another question that I’m sure Stefano holds the answer to.”
She wanted to get his mind back on the search rather than on his loss of a son, “John, do you wanna tell me more about this image that came to you? By the way, how are you feeling?” Her words seemed to soothe him as he forgot about the flower arrangement and joined her on the edge of the bed, “I’m feeling better. The juice helped, thank you.” He began gathering his thoughts and after a few moments, he spoke, “I’m not sure how I feel about the image. All I know is that it was a newborn baby, screaming and crying, like they do when they want their mothers. I don’t know what that is supposed to mean.” The description of his images bothered Marlena beyond that of which she could understand. John noticed her startled reaction and changed the subject.
“Doc, I’m going to call Abraham’s police contacts down here and have this rattle analyzed. Maybe then we will get a solid lead to go on.” Marlena asked, “How long till we know something?” John locked eyes with hers and peered into her with an eerie tone that chilled her to the bone, “Depends on how badly someone wants those prints to be hidden. You said that mysterious lady mentioned something about a child. If Stefano is behind this, well… you know how he can make it as if someone has disappeared.”
***
The night had come and gone, and the morning found John on the phone with Abe first thing. After a few minutes of talking, he suddenly slammed the phone down as he yelled out, “Damnit!” and he flung the receiver across the room, “Another fucking dead end!” Marlena stormed in from the bathroom, “John! John! What on earth are you yelling for?” He was visibly upset about the phone call, but even more upset that he used such profanity in front of his wife. “Oh, baby, I’m sorry about that,” he said as he pulled her into a hug, “I just talked to Abraham. They can’t find one solid match on that rattle. I knew it!” “Knew what?” she asked. “Dimera. I’m sure he is behind all of this. He always is.”
She rubbed her hands on his shoulders to relax him, “Ooo, you’re tense. Let me fix that for you.” “Mmmm.” “Honey, I was just thinking. Since we have come up empty handed yet again, what do you say we head home. Regroup and then head back down here. In the meantime, I think we need to be there for Lexie and Abe. They’ve lost alot. You all have.”
John agreed, and within the next two hours, the pilot had been phoned, and they were headed for home. John had been somewhat quiet and reserved, keeping to himself most of the flight. Marlena, in her tight blue jeans which were sure to get his attention, handed him a glass of water. Looking up at her, his eyebrow cocked, “Thank you,” and he took the glass from her hand as he patted the seat beside him. “Join me,” he softly pleaded.
She did, and she positioned herself so that he could lie his head down in her lap for him to relax. He laid there as she ran her fingers through his thick black hair. “Mmmm, that feels so good, Doc.” “Just try and relax,” she said soothingly. “It’s a little difficult to relax when I can’t stop thinking about it.” “I know,” she said understandingly.
He raised up from her lap in one quick movement, “Can we talk about it?” “Sure, honey.” He tried to explain, “I mean, I don’t really know what to say. I just… uh…” “I know. It’s frustrating. I know.” “Doc, it blows my mind to know that we’ve come this far to hit a wall. It doesn’t make sense to me that we get a postcard with a picture of Maison Blanche on it, postmarked in Paris, and we come down here and nothing.” “John, we didn’t find ‘nothing’. What about the baby rattle. You never know, it may give us a clue. It has already caused a memory flash from you.”
He laid his head back down on her lap as his wife continued to stroke his hair. The familiar touch helped to calm him. “John, try and be patient. I’m sure we’ll find something when the time is right. We’ve just got to look in the right place.”
Page 43 of 76It was mid afternoon; John and Marlena had been back in Salem for a few days and were now waiting for the right time to begin the search again. They had spent many sad hours with Abe, Lexie, Bo and Hope, and the rest of the family mourning over the unusual circumstances that have come. It surprised everyone how well Lexie took the news of baby Issac, and she and Abe had already decided to start looking to adopt again.
John had gone to the police station to visit with Abe and to try and figure out what his next step should be regarding his past. Marlena and Belle were alone at the Penthouse, as Marlena was on the couch going over some patient files when her daughter came slithering down the stairs with a shyness about her that is usually not so apparent.
“Mom,” her nonchalant tone was now evident, “Have you and Dad ever thought about having another kid?” Her papers nearly leaped across the room as Belle’s question definitely got Marlena’s attention, “Where did that come from?” Belle made herself comfortable on the couch across from her mother, “I dunno. You and Dad seem to have such an ever-lasting love, and now that you are back together, it just seems like the next step.”
Marlena wasn’t sure where Belle was going with her questioning, so she decided to go along, “The next step in what?” “Mom, you know how when couples go through a difficult time they sometimes have another baby to bring them closer again.” Marlena stated, “But your father and I have already found our way back to one another. We did that on our own.” Marlena was unintentionally proving Belle’s point, “See… all the more reason for you to have one… to really bind the two of you together. Lord knows it’s possible the way you two are.”
“Belle! What is that supposed to mean?” Belle tried her best to act casual even though it wasn’t all that easy to say what she wanted to say, “Oh come on, Mom, everyone knows that you and Dad’s relationship is so deeply rooted with love and out of that love comes the ability to have a great sex life.” Marlena couldn’t believe her ears. Her little girl was telling her that she is aware that her and her father have a sexual relationship, and not only that, but that her daughter knows it is one thing that makes their love so strong.
“What makes you think that your dad and I have a great sex life, or a sex life at all for that matter?” There weren’t words to describe why and even Belle accepted that, “Well, first of all, because I’m here, but because, Mom… the love you share is obvious to everyone. I can’t explain it, it’s just evident. So, Mom, do you think you and Dad will ever have another baby?” “Belle, I don’t know, honey. Why is this so important to you anyway? Are you afraid you won’t be our little girl anymore, or is this really about something else?” She could see right through her daughter even though Belle was trying so hard to hide the real reason for their conversation.
Before the blonde fifteen year old could reply, the phone rang. “Ah! Saved by the bell!” Marlena exclaimed as she raced for the table by the door. “Hello?” “Hey Doc, it’s me…” “Oh, hi, honey, we were just talking about you.” “Oh? All good, I hope…” “Very.” “Listen, sweetheart, I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be home soon. Get dressed, I’m taking you out to dinner…” “Uh, John, what if we ordered in tonight instead?” “Belle must be going out with her friends…” “Uh-huh,” she said casually. “Ok, I’ll call and pick it up on my way. I’ll see ya shortly. I love you.” “I love you, be careful.” “Always.”
Marlena glowed with love as she made her way back to where her papers were scattered, “So, wanna tell me what’s really on your mind?” “You know me so well.” Marlena patted the cushion beside her, “Come here, sweet girl. I think it’s about time you and I had a talk.” Belle knew what was coming and although she and her mother had touched on this subject before, she felt this time would be the full blown thing.
Marlena began, “Ok, I know we’ve talked about sex before, and I’m sure you know the mechanics of it, so what’s really on your mind? I’m guessing it’s the emotional side. Am I right?” “Again, you know me so well,” Belle admitted. Marlena possessed a calm and warm demeanor when she spoke to her daughter as she stroked her long blonde hair, “Have any of your friends started expressing an interest in sex?” Marlena thought it would be wise to know just how much Belle’s peers were getting involved; she didn’t want to put any ideas into her head.
“Well… actually yes. But don’t get the wrong idea here, Mom. Shawn hasn’t pressured me at all. In fact, he’s ok with the whole ‘waiting till you’re married’ thing.” With squinted eyes, Marlena peered at her daughter and smiled, “You know… your dad and I really like Shawn. He would be a great person to grow old with. But I don’t want you to miss out on anything that could have been. You are still a teenager, and there may be someone else out there for you that you haven’t met yet.”
She continued, “That’s not to say that I’m going to try and change your mind about anything. I believe that your dad and I have done a wonderful job instilling morals and honest values in you, and I choose to believe that when the time is right, you will make the right decision for you.” “I’m not sure I understand what you’re getting at, Mom.” “Belle, sweetie, if you’re curious about sex…”
That was it. Belle wanted to know what it was like to have sex. She wanted to feel the emotions that came along with it. Belle was entering the age when she needed to feel the love and acceptance of a guy her own age, and after all, that was not all that far fetched considering that she was the daughter of Marlena Evans Black, who held her own when it came to relationships with the opposite sex. Men were not the only ones who enjoyed being intimate with someone they love, and Marlena has always had a healthy appetite for sexual relations. And for Marlena to turn Belle against sex, would make her a hypocrite.
“Sex is a very wonderful thing… when it’s with the right person. You know it’s the right person by a number of ways. First of all, the way you mentioned earlier. Waiting until you are married to have sex is probably the most obvious of ways. Belle, it’s not something that you can really describe, it’s not something you can see or touch. It’s more of something that you feel. You know he’s the one when he totally consumes you. It’s not if you ask yourself, ‘Is this the person I can spend the rest of my life with’, it’s more evident if you’re asking yourself, ‘How do I ensure spending the rest of my life with this person’, or ‘How would I ever live without him’. Am I making any sense?”
She was, but there was still another point that she needed to express. “Sweetie, let me just go ahead and get this out in the open… you know how important it is to use protection. Unprotected sex can lead to not only unwanted pregnancy, but deadly diseases. Having a baby as a teenager is not the worst thing that could happen to you. So unless you’re married, it’s a good idea to use some sort of protection, I don’t care how well you think you know the person. Now, with that said, just how curious are you? You said that Shawn isn’t pressuring you, but you have obviously discussed it.”
“Yeah, we have discussed it and it’s not like we’re planning some romantic rendezvous; I’m not here seeking information as to what to expect, or how to do it. I guess I’m here just because I wanted to talk about it. What I don’t want is for it to be some sort of dreaded secret that nobody discusses.” Marlena came back quickly on that comment, “Oh no, it won’t be. You know you can talk to your father and I about anything that you are curious about. And this is why we’ve never tried to hide the fact that your dad and I are physical people. We like expressing our love physically, such as kissing.”
Marlena brought her finger up to her head as if realizing an idea like a light bulb was turned on, “I can only assume that because you have seen your father and I kissing and hugging and being affectionate to each other that it’s why you’re curious. We’d never hide it, so since you see it on a daily basis, it makes you curious.” “Yeah, it does. I see how happy it makes the two of you, and I want that.”
Marlena squeezed her daughter close to her in a one armed hug, “Oh sweet girl, I know. I know you do, but what you should be worried about right now is how you’re gonna fix your hair tonight, or taking notes in Biology class on Monday. And how lucky you are to have friends who understand you and who would never push you in to anything you don’t want to do… and to have such great parents.” Belle looked up at her mom with a smile, “I am lucky to have you and Dad, aren’t I? And don’t worry, Mom, you have taught me to have the confidence in myself to be able to face peer pressure with a smile… and a wink,” to mimic her father’s infamous gesture.
Belle stopped midway up the stairs, “Mom… you never answered my question.” “Which was?” “Are you and Dad gonna have any more kids?” Marlena thought she had dodged that question and would have normally preferred more time to consider her answer, but time was of the essence as Belle had a movie to get to, and she had a dinner date with her sexy husband, “Tell ya what… if it happens, you’ll be the first we tell.”
Page 44 of 76″Mm’mm, hey foxy lady,” he said as he separated from her mouth. “Well, I’ll come to the door more often if I’m gonna get that,” she seduced. “Well, then, I’ll just have to make sure it’s always me at the other end,” he said as he captured her lips again in his. “Wanna work up a bigger appetite,” he teased as she responded with a playful punch to his arm.
Marlena had time between the time that Belle left the penthouse and John arrived home with dinner to set up a romantic setting in their bedroom. She pulled out the little table that John always used to server her dinner in private along with the white satin tablecloth, gold rimmed wine glasses and silverware. Even if the meal wasn’t fancy, they enjoyed the time they spent together dining in the privacy of their room.
John was immediately touched when he saw the trouble that his wife had gone to in order to make their night special. “I thought I was supposed to be the romantic one,” he joked. She quickly replied, “You’ll have your chance before the night is up.” They smiled at each other and shared a soft tender kiss before sitting down to dine.
Moments later, John nearly choked on his Chinese seseame chicken, “She asked you that?” He wasn’t disgusted by that thought by any means, after all, having more children with Marlena was something that he had dreamed about for many years. Their conversation may have drifted from subject to subject over the course of their meal, but John’s mind was in its own little fantasy. And he was bursting at the seams to mention it to his wife.
***
While John cleared the table of the last dinner remains, Marlena had prepared a cozy bath for them. John finally appeared in the doorway, striping himself of his clothing, “Ahhh, Doc, I missed out on the best part,” he said refering to her already being in the tub and having undressed without him. Looking her lover up and down with a raised eyebrow, “Nah… the best is yet to come.”
She sensed his quietness, “Wanna talk about it? Look, if it’s the search we can…” John added, “No, it’s not that.” He wanted so badly now to tell her what he had been feeling for months, no, make that years. But the words did not come so easily. What if she rejected him? Would he be able to deal with it? Not knowing and wondering about it can sometimes be more appealing than knowing and being turned down.
“It’s what Belle and I talked about this afternoon, isn’t it?” Sort of. More like the subject Marlena avoided that John had on his mind. If he was to get anywhere with this thought, he was going to have to come right out and say what was on his mind, and hope that she has at least some time or another thought about the idea herself.
When it came to Marlena, he couldn’t contain his excitement, so he bit the bullet, “Doc… why did we never find the time to have more children?” He hoped by padding the question, it would not hit her as hard. She knew it. She felt it. In fact, she had suspected for some time now that it was on his mind. However, they had just been through an awful time and bringing up a subject as touchy as this, was not something two people who were separated would converse about. But now was different; they were back together and more in love than ever.
“If you’re wondering if it has ever crossed my mind… it has.” “Whew, I was beginning to expect the worst,” he said as he whiped his brow. She moved closer to him so that their legs were intertwined under the hot bubbly water and they were only a mere inches from each other. “John,” she began with her trademark raspy voice, “I would love to have a house full of your babies…” “But…,” John added.
“But…” she continued, “I’ve always taken comfort from this… We were together for a year and a half before Stefano took me from you all those years ago. And then after that, we weren’t together anymore, and had begun denying our feelings for each other until four years after our affair. What if I had become pregnant right before Stefano had kidnapped me? There are so many unanswered questions, and senarios that could have been alot worse. I feel as though Belle was a gift from God. She came at what seemed like an inappropriate time, but when you think about it… she really was our little angel. She is what helped bring us back together. She was a constant reminder for me while living in that mansion with you and Kristen of how much I loved you. And she still is.”
“But don’t you ever wish that I could have been more involved with your pregnancy?” She could not hide her smile as it crept from corner to corner of her mouth, “Of course I do.” And she did, but they didn’t know she was his daughter at that time, and even if they had, she was still married to Roman.
It was true that Marlena would love to have another child with John, and maybe one day soon it could happen, but more than anything, she did not want him to feel as though he needed a child to replace the memory of the one he thought was his. Marlena would not let a child be born of that. If she were to consent to having another baby with John, it would be under the idea that he has accepted the lose of J.T.
And there was another reason. For many years, John has searched for answers in his past. And for many of those years, he has come up short of ever getting to some hard concrete evidence of not only who he was, but what is involvment was with Stefano. Most of those years that John spent searching, Marlena was not an immediate part of, and this time she wanted to be.
“John…,” she began softly, “having a baby with you would be wonderful, and maybe it will happen, but I do not think the present time is the right time.” He added, “It’s because of what happened with J.T. isn’t it?” She could not deny that, “In part, yes. But I feel strongly about this for another reason.” She had John hanging on her every breath.
“We just receieved some eveidence that has put us back into searching for your past. I was under the impression that it was still important to you, because it is to me. I really want to help you this time. So many times in the past, I have not been able to because we were not together. We are now. We are a solid husband and wife team, and I want to help you discover something about yourself that will give you some answers… Maybe even some closure. That is my first priority right now. Once you get some kind of closure, then maybe we can start working on extending our family.”
John had been waiting to hear those words from her. Her words that gave him the added proof that she really was in it for the duration. He was happy about that, and he knew she was right. His search was important right now because of the letter that he had received in Paris and the mysterious lady that Marlena had ran into.
John smiled, “You’re right… now is not the time. Now is the time for some investigating. Well, I mean now as in after Christmas.” Marlena nodded in agreement, “We will begin right after Christmas. We’ll find some answers. We’ll find something. That I promise you. And then… well… Who knows what the future holds for us.”
John leaned in closer to her in the water, “I know what the immediate future holds…” He slowly brought his lips to hers for a quick kiss. “That is if you’re interested.” She cocked her eyebrow and half smiled, “I’m interested.”
Page 45 of 76The cool winter morning found the two lovers entertwined under an entanglement of covers as they awoke. The passion filled night had left them to their own exhaustion, yet thankfully, they were able to get in some much needed rest. Something that they were sure to need in the search into John’s past.
It was still early morning when they finished their breakfast and she was gathering her things for work, “Hey, Doc,” he began, “what do ya say about looking over Dimera’s file tonight and decide which location we’ll go to next?” Marlena agreed, as he continued arguing his case, “Abe and Lexie and Bo and Hope seem to be doing ok. I’m sure they’ll understand if we have to leave.” “Sounds great, although I’d like to wait until after Christmas is over before we leave town. It’s only two days away now,” and she kissed him goodbye. “Well, of course. I wouldn’t miss out on spending a happy Christmas with my wife and children,” he said as he returned her kisses.
Before exiting the Penthouse she paused, “We’ll go over Stefano’s hideouts and properties tonight. Oh, but it will have to be after we have dinner at the Pub. Remember, we’re meeting Abe and Lexie there after I get off work.” “It’s a deal,” and he playfully pinched her rear on her way out. “Ah! I’ll get you, John Black! Just wait till I can get you under the mistletoe!”
***
The early evening coolness filled the Pub with a light hearted aire that found most everyone in a good mood. The holidays were usually a joyous time for the people of Salem; all the parades and celebrations added to the excitement of the season. And this year would be a new beginning for the Black family, as they had alot to celebrate and be grateful for. All were smiles except for Bo who had barged in midway through the Blacks’ and Carvers’ dinner. It was Marlena who first noticed his odd behavior as he propped his arms on the bar in what seemed like rage and exhaustion.
Marlena had barely noticed when Lexie asked her about her campaign, because she was so entranced in trying to figure out what was wrong with Bo. “Um, well, I don’t have another speech for a few more weeks. The next one is in New York, and then summer will bring Miami.” “Ooo what fun!” The conversation was fairly nonspecific throughout the course of their meal, but by the time it was nearing the end, the other three had lost Marlena.
“What do you think, Marlena?” John asked. “Sweetheart? Doc?” His words jolted her out of her trance of watching Bo, “What? Oh, I’m sorry, what did you say?” “I asked what you thought about going back to New Orleans after Christmas?” They hadn’t noticed what had captured her attention.
She was ready for him to start the search again, but she wasn’t so sure that Maison Blanche was where they would find the answers. “John, honey,” she began hesitantly, hoping not to get into a debate in the company of their friends, “Uh… I’ve got some ideas that I’d like to toss around with you later.” Joking he replied, “Yeah, I’ll bet you would!” Laughter filled the Pub as the four were gathering their belongings to leave for their respective homes, when something caught Marlena’s eye. Something wasn’t right with Bo, and she feared a scene would break out if they didn’t get out of their soon.
Her wish was halfway granted since there didn’t seem to be very many patrons in the restaurant. Bo made his way up to John and jerked him by the collar, “You’re lucky Hope never sued your sorry ass for rape!” Marlena and Shawn ran to pry Bo off of him. John stumbled back demanding, “What the hell was that all about?” “You know damn well what this is about, man!” John blurted back obviously without giving much thought to his chosen words, “Bo, if anyone should be accused of rape it’s Hope!” Bo blurted back, “Fuck you, man!”
John stumbled back from the force Bo used to push his hands into his chest. Shawn stepped in again to separate them before things got ugly. John continued, “I don’t care if she did think she was Gina!” To which Bo demanded, “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
Finally, Shawn was able to get out of Bo what he was actually trying to say. Apparently, he was feeling some emotions that he had not expected to witness after finding out he did indeed father Hope’s child during the summer of John and Marlena’s wedding. The feeling of betrayal and resentment were evident for the first time since Bo realized he had missed out on the joy of Hope’s pregnancy. Instead of being happy about it, he was humiliated inside because he knew he wasn’t the father, and now that it was true otherwise, he was pissed because his happiness was stolen.
But rather than take his anger out on Stefano, the usual culprit, he chose to blame John. “And she still may do it!” he blared. Marlena had succeeded in calming him down for the meantime, convincing Bo to give it some time and the pain and resentment would diminish. And she stood vigilant, rubbing John’s shoulder as she temporarily soothed his fear away. They all said their goodbyes and then headed home.
When they arrived, John threw his keys on the table by the door, and plopped down on the sofa. His once strong demeanor now tattered and frail. It would now be Marlena’s turn to comfort her husband even though he still felt responsible, and upset that he was showing such a vulnerable side, “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry you had to hear all of that.” He rubbed his temples before continuing, “God, how will I ever fight this?”
“John,” her soft, yet strong voice pleaded, “I don’t think you have to worry about Bo. There’s no way a judge would side with Hope. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even side with any of you! In fact, he would probably throw the whole case out and hold us all in contempt for making a mockery of his courtroom.”
“The real person who should be on trial here is Dimera!” he yelled so that she could hear him while she made her way from the kitchen. “Well, you know that will never happen,” as she handed him some warm tea, “Drink this. It’ll help relax you.” He nearly downed the whole cup in one gulp. He was engulfed with fear of what being sued for rape would do to his family. Especially now that he and his wife were finally back together again. Of course, there was no way he could ever face something like this without her. It was God sent that she had forgiven him when she did; before all of this mess started.
“John… I really don’t think you should give this another thought. It was obvious to me that Bo was just blowing off some steam. Which is totally understandable, by the way, considering what he has gone through. What we have all gone through.” John’s voice was almost a whisper when he spoke to her, “I’m just so scared, Marlena.” “I know,” she rubbed his leg trying to soothe him with her touch, “but I’m here for you. Always.”
***
Marlena had convinced her husband to try and get some sleep as she cradled him in her arms for several hours before finally giving in to the idea that she would not sleep much this night. Fighting her way through the dark of their room, she pulled on her robe and had headed downstairs. The Penthouse was silent and dark, except for the moon which filtered itself through the drapes that hung on the french doors. Normally, the silence doesn’t bother her, but for some reason it did then. The quietness of the apartment was too loud for her to bare even with the slight hum of the television.
She unscrewed the cap and poured the clear liquid into a glass. She quickly downed several shots before the buzz of the alarm sounded. Startled, the cap was screwed back on tightly and was about to be put away when she noticed that the buzzing had stopped. Someone had come home. Brady perhaps. ‘I can’t let anyone see me,’ was her only thought as she darted for the doorway to peer into the living room at the perpetrator. ‘Brady… maybe he’ll go straight upstairs,’ which he did.
Ironically, as much as she knew he should not be allowed to get away with sneaking in past curfew, she was in no position to confront him. Even if she had used the excuse of sleeplessness, she knew it was wrong to lie about the specifics of the situation. And being in the kitchen fixing herself a drink at the same time he came home was no way of starting the family off on the right foot. Lying about her actions wouldn’t get them anywhere, so the only thing left to do was forget she saw him sneak in. But could she? After all, she had already been lying about her actions for months, but was it worth risking the safety of her children?
Disappointed in herself, more because she couldn’t be there to confront Brady for breaking the rules, she stashed the alcohol back into the cabinet and headed upstairs for bed hoping that the extra incentive would bring a peaceful night of sleep. The thought of loosing control never entered her mind.
Page 46 of 76She was itching to inquire where Brady had been the previous night to have caused him to come home after curfew, as they all sat around the kitchen table sharing an early morning breakfast. “What time did you get home last night, Brady?” she casually asked. She detected the slight hesitation in his reply, “Um… oh, right before midnight.” Midnight was his curfew on weekdays. It was more for the other family members’ sleeping benefits than to just make him come home that early. Belle had school and Marlena had to get up just as early to go to work, and the sound of the alarm sounding at all hours of the night was therefore out of the question.
She couldn’t believe what an outright lie he had just fed her, “Midnight, uh? What did you do last night to be out so late?” He didn’t give the interrogation much thought, thinking it was the typical parents’ need to know, “I was out with my girlfriend.” She continued, “Brady… when am I gonna meet this girl? I don’t even know her name.” “Her name’s Elizabeth, but she goes by Beth. I doubt you’d know her.” “Probably not, but I’d at least like to know her name, so that when I hear you talk about her, I’ll know who it is.”
Marlena needed a way to insure to get her point across to him about his curfew without blowing her cover, and to her surprise, she didn’t need to find that way. John put his fork down on his plate as he added, “I want to thank you for making the extra effort to be home on time during the week. You know how hard it is for Marlena to sleep, the last thing she needs is something waking her up.” She glanced at John with a look that said a thousand ‘thank yous’, yet he had no idea how thankful she was.
***
Christmas was less than twenty four hours away and the mid-day found many Salem residents out doing last minute shopping. Marlena had finished her day early as she only had one patient to see, and was now headed to meet her husband at Salem Place. Now that they were married, they wanted to make it a practice of spending as much time as possible out and about during the holiday season; something they had previously not been able to share. They walked for what seemed like hours in and around Salem Place, taking in all of the sights and sounds of the joyous season.
They had partaken in the infamous lighting of the tree, and were enjoying their coffee from Java Cafe, when John mentioned Mass. “Oh,” she exclaimed as his words startled her, “I’ve got something I need to take care of before we go. Actually, tell ya what. I’ll go do my thing real quick, and I’ll meet you there.” “Doc, it’s almost midnight, what could you possibly have to do?” “It’s for work,” and she left it at that because he knew better than to question her when it came to her practice. “Ok well, I’ll see you there. I love you,” and he kissed her sweetly on the lips before she darted off into the night.
***
The sounds from the organ filled the air of St. Luke’s as the people of Salem joined one another in the church for Christmas Mass. John frantically glanced at his watch in wonder where in the world his wife could be. “She should have been here by now, Abraham.” His friend noticed the worry in his voice, “John, she told you she had something to take care of for work, I’m sure she’s on her way. You know Marlena; during the holidays, she is always very concerned for her patients.” “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right, Abe, but I just worry about her so much these days. She hasn’t slept a whole night in eleven years. I’m afraid her insomnia may have taken a toll on her while we were going through this ordeal with Hope and me.”
Lexie overheard her husband talking to John and was shocked to hear that Marlena is still finding it difficult to sleep a full eight hours. “John, maybe she should see a doctor about it.” John looked at her with worried eyes, yet sarcastically replied, “You know what she would say to that?” and he did his best imitation of Marlena, “I am a doctor, John.” It was true. Roman couldn’t convince her to get therapy for it, and so far, John wasn’t successful either.
Just as Father Jensen was about to say prayer, John bolted to the rear of the church. He couldn’t stand it any longer. He had to find her. ‘What if something has happened to her? Oh God, please don’t take her from me now.’ He jerked open the door just as Marlena had arrived on the porch of the church to join them. “Doc! Thank God.” He nearly swallowed her in his embrace. “John… What’s gotten in to you?”
Did his ears deceive him? She acted as if nothing was wrong, she had no idea how worried he was and now she comes in acting as if he is the hysterical one. “Marlena, you were supposed to be here over an hour ago. Where have you been? What could possibly be more important than sharing Christmas Mass with your family?” “I told you. I had something to take care of,” she replied coldly as she made her way to her seat as John stood there in a daze trying to figure out what just took place.
He had made a vow to himself that he would find out what had made her react so coldly, but it would have to wait until after Mass was over, and they had some time alone to talk. For now, he had to put on a happy face as everyone gathered to wish each other a merry Christmas. Caroline had noticed Marlena’s distant behavior. “Shawn, I’ll be right back, I’m going to speak to John for a moment.”
“John, dear.” He turned to see his former mother smiling at him, “Oh Caroline, Merry Christmas.” “Thank you, and the same to you and your family. Speaking of which, is there anything bothering Marlena?” “You’ve noticed, too. I’m not sure, Caroline. I can only assume that it’s because of all that I’ve put her through.” “But I thought the two of you were back to normal.” “We are, but she’s been through so much. She had a real hard time accepting the situation, and it didn’t help her sleeplessness any.” “Well, if there is anything that Shawn or I can do, please let us know.”
Everyone celebrated Mass as John sat with his arm around his wife, unsure if he held on to her in fear that she was slipping away from him, or if simply because he loved her, and having his arm around his wife was a gesture that they both had become accustomed to, and felt bare without it. Next to Marlena sat Belle and Brady; for the first time in a long time, they were the picture of a happy family.
***
John had survived Mass without questioning Marlena about her earlier tardiness, but now that they were home, he could not control himself any longer. All was quiet in the Black home, as he closed his bedroom door, eyes focused on the blonde who sat at her vanity and ran a brush through her slightly below-the-shoulder-length curly hair. She glanced over her shoulder at him as the door found its resting place, and the air grew thick.
Now that they were all home safe, anger had begun to set in as John fought hard to go easy on her, “Baby, we need to talk.” But he was also fighting another emotion, as he watched with lustful eyes as she gracefully brushed her golden locks. That was one sight that always drove him wild, and it didn’t help that she always did it at bedtime.
The brush clanked on the vanity table as she stood up, her lacy white robe falling open to hang at her sides allowing him full view of the skimpy gown underneath, and the shapely figure that peaked out. ‘God, why did she have to put that one on tonight?’ “Hey Sailor,” her voice was low and raspy and she seductively licked her lips as she spoke her words, “bout time you came up… to bed.” He swallowed hard as her close proximity made his anger seem less important.
He placed his hands on her shoulders as if to shield himself from the kiss that she planted on his lips, but it didn’t phase her. After his lips, her hands found their way to his collar where she gently pulled on the tie that inhibited her access. “Marlena…” he tried to sway her, but his efforts weren’t very convincing.
She pulled him closer to her to allow room to remove the tie and make a wet trail with her tongue from his neck down and around his nipples. She seduced, “I thought you promised me that you would make love to me under our Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.” “I did.” Nonchalantly, she asked, “Then what is the hold up?”
“I’ve already told you. We need to talk.” “Yeah, about which present you’re gonna let me open first,” slyness evident in her tone. He knew he would not win this one. He wanted to share this night with her like they had planned, but he felt uneasy about the earlier events. How could she be late to Mass when she knows how important it is to John? What could she have needed to do that was so important to take so long? They were questions that John was not going to get answers to tonight.
He had promised his wife that they would renew an old tradition this year. In the mid eighties, when they first lived as husband and wife, John and Marlena shared a private moment on Christmas Eve. After everyone else in the household was asleep, he and Marlena would sneak downstairs and share a romantic night together. He would give her that special gift he bought for her, and she would do the same for him. This would be their night. And after exchanging gifts, they would seal the night by making love. But now the real question was would John be able to keep his mind off of being angry long enough to share an evening with his wife?
Page 47 of 76The dim moonlight slithered through the curtains as the couple lie bathed in white decorative lights under the holiday tree. Their bodies lie intertwined on a soft white down comforter under a sheet surrounded by pillows. John gently stroked his wife’s blonde hair as it was spread across his chest. “The lights make your eyes sparkle.” She seductively replied, “Oh that’s not the lights.” His eyebrow raised at her comment and in one motion his finger tilted her chin up so that he would have access to her mouth.
She expressed to him how this was one of her favorite parts about making love with him; how they would lie in each other’s arms and just basque in the afterglow of their love. “I always did love the way you did things… the way you touched me,” the innocent girl inside her womanly body evident in her tone. Her words got him to thinking. Thinking back to a time when things were much different, he remarked, “You know… it really is amazing that you even fell in love with me all those years ago, when it was clear that you were in love with the image of Roman Brady.”
Unsure of what his point was, she encouraged an explanation, “The way I did things. They way I touched you, if you will. It was obviously different because I wasn’t him. Not even Stefano could copy that.” Now she realized where he was leading. “You’re right. It was different. And I fell madly in love with that difference. Sure, I remembered what Roman was like, but I became very accustomed to the touch that I came home to everyday when we believed you to be him.”
She gathered the blanket around her naked body as she propped herself against his chest, and then continued, “I’ve never told you this before, but I think one of the reasons that I so easily accepted that the man we found on the island as Roman, was because I was so very much in love with what made you two different. I knew you were the one that my heart belonged to, and yet I couldn’t love you as John Black if you were Roman Brady. And I so wanted to love you as John Black.”
His heart was touched, “That is the sweetest, most meaningful thing anyone has ever said to me. The most loving thing anyone could ever say to me.” “It’s true,” she lightly kissed his lips, “I knew there were things different about you when I brought you home from West Virginia. And I remember how you struggled at first. Mmph, I even remember a conversation with you telling me that you couldn’t recall the special ways I liked to be touched. But the ironic thing about it was that I liked how you did it. I honestly never once compared you to Roman, not in my mind, nor verbally. I was in love with you. At the time, it just made things easier that we had evidence supporting the theory of you being Roman Brady. The memory of losing him was still fresh in my heart and I had a difficult time giving all of myself to someone again. I guess all in all, I didn’t really need an excuse to love you… I believe that you and I would have found our way to one another eventually,” she said with a smile, “but it made things easier and sped things up a bit.”
“I’ll say,” he joked, “One day I was out with this beautiful lady doctor on a hillside and the next thing I knew, she welcomed me into her home, into her children’s lives, and… into her bed. But it was definitely all real. I loved you… on my own. I’m sure Stefano is kicking himself over that one.”
Their conversation finally drifted into silence and after a few minutes, John found himself gazing up at his wife and couldn’t resist running his fingers through her silky hair. His soft touch sent her to a place that no one else had the power to do. “I love my present,” he sweetly said as he lost himself in her hazel eyes. She had found that perfect gift months ago while shopping in Salem Place. In fact, the day she bought it, was the same day she witnessed the scene with her husband with Hope and an innocent passerby in public and decided to end their marriage. Thank God that did not happen.
“What made you think of it,” he asked about his diamond cut gold rope chain. He had always been the romantic one; buying jewelry for his wife was one of the many things that truly made up his character. That famous smile couldn’t be contained, “You’re always surprising me with jewelry, and I’ve already given you a watch, and of course you’re wearing my ring, so I wanted to do something else special for you. I also liked how tender and simple, yet strong it looked. Besides… I’ve always thought you would look sexy wearing a gold chain… And I was right,” and she leaned in to capture his mouth with hers.
The anticipation was killing her. He could not believe that she had managed to wait this long, and on top of that, she had not been bugging him about it since they began to make love. John could see that it was eating her up inside and could not hide his amusement. “What is so funny?” she asked.
“I can’t believe you’ve waited this long. You have not said one thing about your present in the last little while,” he laughed. “Well, if you’ll remember, Mr. Black, I’ve been sorta… pre occupied,” her voice trailed off innocently. And that they were. No matter what was on Marlena’s mind, when she and John began to make love, the only thing that mattered was their love.
As she was finishing her thought, John was gathering the gift box and pushing it toward her. It was a black velvet box, a staple wrapping of most of John’s gifts. Her eyes began to gleam. “Before you open it, Marlena… I’d like to tell you a little history of choosing this gift.” If he didn’t have her attention before, he certainly did now.
“I love to buy you jewelry because of how beautiful you make the piece look. And in the past, I’ve bought you several extravagant pieces and as much as I’ve loved seeing you wearing each and every one of them… this time I opted for something more simple. Tender. Yet strong…” His use of the same words she used did not go unnoticed.
She slowly opened the box to reveal her very own diamond cut gold rope chain. Her eyes filled with tears as she gasped in awe of the situation. How sweet was that? They bought each other the same gift as if they were totally in sync with each other. But then again, they always have been.
“It’s beautiful,” she finally gasped. “Here, let me help you with that,” he took the chain and she lifted her hair to give him room to clasp the necklace. Then he gently planted soft kisses around her neckline as he used his index finger to turn her mouth to his and captured it with his own.
He finally parted from her, “Do you really like it? I was afraid it would be too simple…” She put her finger to his lips to stop him from continuing, “Shh… I love it. I really do. I actually considering buying myself one when I bought yours, and something told me not to. I did not understand it at the time, but I didn’t make a big deal about it either. I just let the feeling go. Now I understand,” she kissed him once again, “They’re a perfect match. Just like us.”
John winked, “Just like us,” as he leaned in for a kiss. As the kiss deepened, his hands began a journey of their on across his wife’s silky skin. She moaned slightly in her lover’s ear that told him she was ready. John pulled the sheet over them once again as he once again crawled on top of his wife. They began to make slow passionate love once again.
Page 48 of 76Christmas Day had come and found the Brady’s and Horton’s all gathered together at the Brady Pub. This year Caroline and Maggie though it would be nice if both families, and all of their friends, got together in one place. After J.T.’s death and the revelation of Isaac being Hope’s child, there was a certain need to come together as a family.
All of the guests had arrived and Christmas dinner was served, but not before Shawn said grace. The air throughout dinner was lighthearted and fun, no indication of what was to come. John was so very happy to be spending the holiday season happy and more in love than ever with his wife and family. They had already had their private celebration the night before, and then an immediate family gathering earlier this morning. He lived for moments like these when he could enjoy everyone’s company with Marlena by his side. The same could be said for her.
Food dishes were being whisked away to the kitchen for cleaning as the guests had begun to create more camaraderie with each other. Marlena turned to her husband, who sat next to her in the booth, “Will you excuse me for a minute, honey?” “I don’t know. What’s in it for me?” And she kissed him on the lips before making her way over to see Laura.
While she was away, John figured he’d go spend some time with Abe and Lexie, only to be met at his table by a very unhappy Bo. John almost in a whisper, “Now’s not the time, or the place, Bo.” “Then let’s take it outside.” Marlena watched as her husband followed Bo out into the cold winter snow.
Laura stopped rambling on about Mike and Carrie, “Marlena?” Laura had noticed that Marlena’s attention was focused on the conversation outside rather than her own. “I’m sorry, Laura, I’m just worried that this might turn ugly.” But she wasn’t about to interfere. That might make things worse. Instead she allowed Laura to inquire about her sleeping habits.
“I’m still not sleeping very well. In fact, I’d almost swear it’s gotten worse.” This surprised Laura, “Worse?” “Hm’mm. I don’t know why. Maybe stress.” Marlena tried to play it off as if it were nothing, but her doctor friend knew better than to just chalk it up to nothing. However, before she could inquire any further, the scene outside did turn ugly and Marlena bolted for the door.
“Stay out of this, Marlena,” Bo yelled. John quickly jumped between them, “Don’t speak to her that way. Or that’s a whole other side of me you don’t want to have to deal with, Bo.” That was one thing about John that had never changed, and never would. Thankfully, she had interrupted the tension enough to send Bo storming back inside. “Wanna tell me what that was all about?” she asked. “We’ll talk about it at home. Come on, it’s freezing out here.”
The Blacks said their goodbyes a little earlier than normally planned, but John was feeling the tension of his earlier argument with Bo. Marlena decided to take him home and find out what had happened. “He’s still threatening this rape crap!” Marlena shivered at the thought of having to endure something of that nature. “John, maybe I should try talking to Bo and…”
“He already told you to stay out of it. Don’t make things worse,” he snapped. “I’m not going to make things worse. And besides that, not only am I your wife, but I am a doctor. I might be able to get through to him and see what is really bothering him.”
John yelled out in frustration, “I can tell you exactly what’s bothering him. He feels helpless and needs someone to blame!” Marlena responded softly, “You understand that frustration, don’t you.” His eyes burned through to her soul in a way that made her believe she was correct.
Marlena could read him like a book, “Tell me. Honey, tell me what is making you feel helpless.” His muscles tightened and his jaw tensed. John hated this feeling. An overwhelming feeling of weakness brought on by an unexplainable feeling of helplessness. He didn’t understand it, and he hated that he felt weak. His eyes narrowed as he stared through her, and then made his way out to the balcony.
She was used to his walking off while she tried to dissect his thoughts, so she grabbed his jacket that was lying haphazardly on the couch and followed him out into the cold night air. He was touched by her gesture to freeze in order to help him, “Doc, it’s freezing out here. Go back inside.”
“No. Not until you talk to me. Tell me what’s got you down.” He loved how she looked in his clothes whether it be his favorite Yankees baseball jersey, with nothing on underneath, or his leather jacket that hung on her just right.
“Did Bo say something to upset you?” “No. This has nothing to do with Bo. He’s so full of shit anyway…,” John’s frustration obviously taking over. She tried another tactic. She walked up behind him and rubbed her hands up and down his tense arms. She leaned in closer so that her head could almost rest on his shoulders; she always loved how perfect in height they were to each other; and whispered in his ear, “I love you. I just want to help you. If you won’t let me do that, then let me at least take your mind off of your worries for tonight.”
John turned his head toward his back where she was standing, “Doc,…” Turning him to face her, she quickly cut him off, “Shhhh. Since when do you turn your wife down, eh?” He responded with a sly tone, “You’re one to talk, Mrs. Black. You wouldn’t tell me why you were late to Mass. I don’t want to talk about this.” She shrugged, “So, it’s settled. If there’s nothing more to talk about then take your wife upstairs. If you’re lucky, she’ll let you have your way with her any way you please.”
“You drive a hard bargain, Doc, but I honestly don’t know what’s wrong. For some reason, I feel as though something bad is lurking under the surface and it’s just waiting for the right moment to strike and tear our family apart. I’m scared to death because I feel so damn hopeless. And that makes me angry.”
Marlena began her seduction, “Well… I’m not trying to make light of your mood, but when it comes to this,” she unbuttoned her shirt a little and opened his jacket to slightly reveal the skin above her breasts, “You are not helpless.” He walked up to her and gathered the lapels of his jacket in his hands, “You have got entirely too many clothes on,” and captured her mouth in his.
Their mouths never parted as he carried her up the stairs to their bedroom. She knew she was in for a night of much pleasure as John barely stopped long enough to rid them of their clothes. She knew their love making would be desperate and erotic because of his mood. But that was ok because sometimes she liked it rough, and John knew just how she liked it.
Page 49 of 76John awoke suddenly like he had never done before. His senses, although always on guard even when he slept, were suddenly working overtime. He had the strange sensation that something was wrong. Deadly wrong. His eyes quickly darted to his wife’s pillow to find it had been abandoned. Another sleepless night for her; not entirely unusual. Still, he could not fight the urge to make sure she was ok.
The past several weeks he has tried to keep a close eye on her; to try and figure out why she has been acting so strangely. Lately, she had been distancing herself from her friends and family and that was entirely unlike her. He has called her on her tardiness, and yet it has continued. To her, it is as if her behavior isn’t questionable.
He crept down the stairs following the light that emitted from the television set, careful not to disturb Marlena if she had finally found sleep. But he grew even more concerned when he eyed the tousled blanket on the couch and there was no Marlena to be found. He was headed into the kitchen when he heard what sounded like liquid pouring, and then a glass being set down in a motion all too quick to have been anything other than a shot glass. He heard her down one and then witnessed two more shots as he peered into the kitchen and confirmed his worst nightmare.
Vivid images of different times that they had spent together flashed before his eyes like a beating drum that was demanding rain. Her drinking shots the day he told her about Hope… *bam*… more shots on the airplane to Colorado… *bam*… the many glasses of wine they had with dinner… *bam*… how he kept serving her more Tequila Screwdrivers on the beach… *bam*… the sleepless nights that she drank herself back to sleep… *bam*…
‘This can’t be happening,’ is all he could think as he watched her quickly scurry to replace the top to the Vodka bottle. She was still unaware of his presence. ‘I’m dreaming this. I must be.’ But unfortunately, he was not. Marlena returned the bottle to its home in the cabinet above the fridge, and when she did, a sudden chill came over her. ‘Oh God,’ is all she thought as she turned around and saw her husband standing behind her with the saddest eyes he had ever bore.
He had to say something. He forced the words from his mouth, “I’m not going to ask you what you were doing because I don’t want to give you the chance to lie to me.” “About what?” “You know what. I saw you down shots of Vodka and return it to the cabinet as if nothing happened.” “So. I couldn’t sleep. I thought it might relax me,” she said as she made her way to her husband and rubbed her hands and across his abdomen. He felt her nails tease his skin as she tried to wrap her arms around him. His skin jumped with excitement at her familiar touch, but he grabbed her hands as he took a step back from her. “We’re going upstairs. We need to talk.”
Three thirty a.m. found John and Marlena in their room, not lying happily in bed together, but sitting separately at different places in the room. John sat on the corner of the bed with his head in his hands pondering what their next move should be. While Marlena found a seat in one of the chairs on their balcony. John hoped that the cool night air might sober her up a bit from the three shots of Vodka. He knew trying to reason with her right now would be a complete waste of time. She would just have to sleep it off.
***
The morning sun peered down onto the bed and into the corners of Marlena’s eyes, as John looked on from a chair at opposite ends of the room. He barely got any sleep during the night worrying over his wife’s condition. The cool night air didn’t sober her up entirely as the alcohol had taken effect and did indeed make her sleepy. John insisted she get some sleep, for he knew morning would come all too quickly. And after lying awake in bed for most of the night, John got up just before dawn and opened the blinds, perhaps out of spite, to ensure that the sunlight would help awaken his wife.
John had spent most of the night and early morning hours struggling with his guilt. All the times that they shared a drink together flashed over and over in his mind, insisting that he was the cause. But he would have to put his guilt aside if he is to help Marlena, for he thinks that she obviously has a drinking problem.
Marlena awoke with a slight headache, and convinced a non too happy John to bring her some orange juice before she took a shower. She was treading on then ice, “You’re awfully quiet this morning.” “Be grateful, Marlena. You don’t really want to hear what I have to say right now,” and he handed her the orange juice. She tried to play it off as if the situation was not as it seemed, but he held fast to his determination. “Go take your shower. We’ll talk when you’re done.”
John allowed her the time she needed to shower and dress, but as soon as she was done, he was at her with questions. “I’m just gonna come right out and be blunt with my question. I’m really not in the mood to play games. I’m trusting that you will tell me the truth.” She sensed John’s seriousness and tried to convince herself that what appeared to be anger toward her was really love. He continued, “How long has this been going on?” Again she avoided the truth, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
That was all it took. Thank goodness Belle and Brady had already left the Penthouse because John lost the control that he was barely hanging on to as he slammed his fist into the bathroom door. Marlena burst into tears at his actions and his tone as he continued, “Damnit do not lie to me!” But it was too late. He had scared her into retreating within herself. “How dare you talk to me like that, John Black!” She continued to go off on him as he just stood there listening to her rant about how she feels the pressures of his actions. Apparently the alcohol had begun to make her behave with angry outbursts at the effects of his sleeping with Hope and being threatened to be sued by Bo. For this was a side that he had not seen in her before.
She continued to yell at him, bringing now him to tears, as he tried to convince her that he felt responsible for what she is going through and to please allow him help her. She refused his help, insisting she did not need it because she did not have a problem with alcohol. “How can you even accuse me of such a thing?” she demanded. He told her of how ever since he broke the news to her about his sex fling with Hope, she had turned to alcohol on more than one occasion.
She did not deny having been able to hold her liquor better than she ever could before, but she still would not admit to having any type of problem. And it enraged her that her husband did not believe her. “If you’re not going to trust me, trust your wife, John Black, then there is no reason for this conversation to go on any further. I’m going to work.”
***
After Marlena stormed out of the Penthouse earlier that morning, the place got too quiet for John to bare. He didn’t know where to go, or who he could turn to. He didn’t want to get anyone else involved in his speculations without Marlena further confirming his fears. And she was not willing at the current time to do so, which left him nowhere, but alone. He began walking. Not the usual bustling streets of Salem, but the side streets that reeked with lonliness and despair. It matched his current state. After hours of walking and getting nowhere, he felt the urge to stop by the pier. It had been an escape for him so many times before, and possibly this time would be no different.
He spent several hours at the pier pondering how he should handle the situation with Marlena. He sat watching the people pass by while different thoughts ran through his mind. John finally decided to call his wife before she left work just to say hi and tell her that he is looking forward to seeing her later.
John was horrified when he learned that Marlena had left work earlier that morning. Her secretary, Cynthia, informed him that she had left a note stating to reschedule her patients for the next two days that she had something important to take care of. He knew in his gut that meant she would not be home tonight and he had to find her before she did something she would regret. Or worse… something that could get her into trouble.
Page 50 of 76The search is on…
John’s speculations had been right. Marlena did not come home for dinner, and John still knew too little about Marlena’s situation so it was too soon to call in the help of Abe or Bo. “I’ve got to find Cynthia,” John demanded. As far as he knew, Marlena’s secretary could have been the last person to see her. He scurried to Marlena’s office and forced security to open her office. He dug and dug through many papers and addresses until he finally found Cynthia’s home number. He was hoping for an address, but this would do. After making the call, he was on his way to meet her.
He demanded, “Did you see her?” “No, I’ve told you already. All I know is that about nine thirty yesterday morning, I stepped out to check on a patient of Dr. Evans’ that had been ill that was on the seventh floor. She was a friend of mine who I had referred to Dr. Evans for some help with a family crisis. She survived a car accident that took her brother’s life and she was admitted to the hospital and is still recovering from her physical injuries. I was only gone about fifteen minutes, twenty tops. When I got back to my desk, there was a note. It was from Dr. Evans asking to cancel her appointments for the next two days. So I did.”
John was curious, “No questions asked? You just called everyone on the schedule and canceled.” “Yes, Mr. Black. I don’t question Dr. Evans’ orders. I’ve never had a reason to.” He had no choice but to believe her.
Cynthia’s words ‘never had a reason to’ continued to roll around in his thoughts as he drove to his next destination. He arrived at the police station within minutes from leaving the hospital. “Jake, I need a favor, buddy.” John had made many friends on the force when he worked there as Roman many years ago. And it was times like these that those friends came in real handy. Lucky for him, he had helped many of these same friends in situations, so calling in a favor of his own was not totally out of the question.
Jake was able to get a guest list from all hotels and lodging within a one hundred mile radius and cross checked all of the names for any suspicious activity. All names except for one had a legitimate match. John knew what he had to do. He had to get some help from someone. Someone that he and Marlena could both trust.
“I’m sorry, Maggie, I know it is late, but this is an emergency. I need your help,” John pleaded, “Where’s Mickey? He might could help in this, too.” Maggie stated, “Please come in, this sounds serious. Um, Mickey is still at the office, so I’ll have to do for now.”
John handed her a piece of paper, “Does this name mean anything to you?” Maggie hesitated for a moment, but John was persistent, “Please, Maggie. Marlena’s missing.” Maggie then grew hysterical at hearing the awful news of her dearest friend. John had to calm her down if she were to be any help to him.
“Maggie, Maggie, she’s not missing exactly. She just… look we had a fight this morning and she didn’t come home after work. I called her secretary and found out that she had left work early this morning. Wherever she is, she’s been there all day. I’m worried about her.”
“It must have been some fight,” she commented. John hesitated to tell her the truth, but realized that he might not have any other choice. She could see that he was hiding something. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He lowered his head in shame as if it was his fault. He felt terrible for what he saw, “She’s been having trouble sleeping again. It started out of nowhere. It’s different this time. She won’t talk about it. Says she’s not missing any sleep, just that she doesn’t need as much as a normal person. She always goes back to what she said about how being held on that island conditioned her sleep patterns.”
“Anyways, I woke up in the middle of the night last night and saw that she was not in bed. I found her in the kitchen downing a couple of shots of Vodka.” Maggie gasped, “Oh my God!” “Yeah well, we fought about it and she left for work all pissed off.”
“You think she may be addicted,” Maggie added. “Yeah. And we’re fighting because I think she’s got a problem and she doesn’t.” “I can understand her feelings. That’s quite an accusation.” John and Marlena both trusted Maggie explicitly, as she was one of their closest friends, but he was not in the mood for a lecture, “Does the name on the paper mean anything to you, or not?”
Maggie studied the paper that John had handed her. One thing came to mind, but it was a long shot. “John, it is obvious to me that wherever Marlena is, she’s fine. She just needs some time to herself for a while.” “What the hell does that mean?” he demanded.
Maggie was almost excited about her discovery, “This name! Samantha is Marlena’s sister’s name. And Marlena’s first husband was Don Craig.” He grabbed the paper and stared at it with astonishment. He couldn’t believe that he missed that clue. A sudden surge of relief came over him as he felt an undeniable sense that his wife was okay. That Maggie was right. She just needed some time and then she would be home. And he would be there by her side when she did.
John was about to step out onto the porch to leave when he felt Maggie touch him on the arm. He turend around and saw the concern for Marlena in her eyes. And she saw the same concern in his eyes. She hoped her words soothed him somehow, “I’m here for you and Marlena. I’ll do whatever I can.” Knowing that all he could do for now was to go home and wait, John nodded a mountain of ‘thank yous’ and left for home.
Page 51 of 76Marlena sat alone at The Blue Note, not drinking alcohol, but rather coffee. She had gone off to be by herself, oblivious to the search that is going on to find her. She actually did go to work after she left the Penthouse yesterday morning, but she only stayed long enough to write Cynthia a note asking her to cancel all appointments for the next two days. She never saw Cynthia, or anyone for that matter, so no one lied when John questioned her whereabouts and did not get a positive answer. She didn’t plan it that way, but it definitely bought her more time to be alone.
Sadness and utter despair had begun to seep into her veins. Without any real thought, she stirred her coffee and contemplated where she would go from here. She did not return home after leaving work, and rented a room at a hotel outside of town. She did not want to be found and even more so, she did not want to be recognized, so she used an alias. The last thing she needed was for someone to see her and relate her face to the Woman of the Century posters that were hung up around town. It was unlike her to not go home, and even more unlike her to not call. But what would she say to him? ‘Oh John. What have I gotten myself into?’
The bartender came back down her way again, “Would you like a refill?” Literally snapping back into reality, she answered, “Yes, please.” “You sure you don’t want something stronger? I could add some Bailey’s n’ Cream to that for ya.” She almost laughed at the irony of his offer, but smiled as she denied, “No. Thank you.” “So what’s a woman like you doing in a place like this anyway?”
She had been careful to throw off anyone who might be looking for her by staying in a hotel outside of town, using an alias, and then coming back into town right under John’s nose to go to The Blue Note. She figured if anyone found out about the alias, the first place they would look would be nearby that hotel. John did not take into consideration how much smooth thinking she picked up by counseling so many criminals that he or Roman would bring in the station for questioning. Lucky for her, she learned a few things. “Um… I just wanted to be alone for a while… do some thinking.” The bartender got the picture and left her alone only to return when her cup was low.
But the guy wouldn’t give up. He got a vibe from her that something was really wrong in her life and he felt the need to help her. “Miss, I’m sorry to bother you again, but please hear me out on this, would ya?” Making a scene wasn’t high on her list of priorities, so she obliged. “I get the feeling that you’re in some kind of trouble. And judging by your appearance, it’s some trouble that really doesn’t fit your type. And that usually means something bad. Forgive my bluntness, but being a bartender teaches a man alot about life, and how precious it is.”
He hesitated for a moment before continuing, “Most people like yourself who come here this early in the day are here for one of two reasons. Number one, they are contemplating doing something they know they shouldn’t, or they already have and they’re trying to figure out how to put their lives back together. Or number two, they’ve got a drinking problem. Now I don’t know which one it is, and I really don’t need to know. But I will tell you this… If you’ve got a husband to go home to, and seeing the ring on your finger leads me to believe that you do, then go home to him. Whatever the problem is, the two of you need to work it out together. Because if it is alcohol that’s got you down, you’ll never beat it on your own.”
Those words really hit home with her as she sat on her barstool and thought about what John was doing at that moment. She knew he had to be worried sick over her for not coming home and not calling. She could see him pacing the floors at home with his phone in hand trying desperately to track her down. The thought of him calling in the help of their friends and family, made her realize how her actions may have caused alot of turmoil, and she would have alot of explaining to do. ‘Everyone probably knows now what John suspects.’ But just how much John did reveal to people was left to the unknown. And then her thoughts turned to that of her children. Where were Belle and Brady? Were they alright? And were they aware of what was going on? ‘Oh God! What have I done!’ she thought to herself as she turned her head to hide her emotions in the empty wall beside her.
After a moment of worrying about her children, she brought herself back to reality and thought, ‘John has no idea what is really going on. And how could I tell him? I can’t tell him the whole truth. Not yet. But I have to tell him something. I know what I have to do.’ Marlena then took a deep breath and prepared for what was to come.
She quickly dried her tears and gathered her purse for money for the coffee, as she motioned for the bartender. “You know what the ironic thing is? I’m a psychiatrist and yet your advice is the probably the best advice I’ve ever heard in my life.” She brought out money for the coffee and tip. “Coffee’s on the house today, ma’am.” Nodding, she continued, “I’m going to follow your advice. I’m going home to my husband and work this out. Thank you,” she turned to leave but not before sliding money across the bar, “Here’s triple what I charge for an hour’s worth of advice that isn’t near as effective as your three minutes’ worth.”
The bartender was not directly responsible for her deciding to go home to her husband, she knew she would all along, but she wanted to thank him any way she could. He not only touched her heart, but she touched his as well. The circle of love continued on, for he could now use that money for his daughter.
Home was the right decision, yet the time away from everyone and everything helped her realize how precious her life was and how important it was for her to talk to John. Marlena would still not let him convince her that she had a drinking problem, though. No, the reason she was going home was because she knew her family was worried sick over her. Dealing with what was really bothering her would not come as easy.
Fifteen minutes later, the door knob turned and in stepped a scared Marlena. Fortunately, after talking to Maggie, John had a sense that Marlena wanted to be left alone, and that she was probably alright, so he did not worry the kids over her whereabouts. They had already gone to school when she came home.
John was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands and cluchting his cell phone when the door opened, “Doc!” he ran over to her dropping the phone on the table as he squeezed her tightly. “Oh God, I’m so glad you’re ok!” He continued to hold her as he calmly spoke to her in the sweetest voice, “I’m so sorry, baby, for the way I acted yesterday. God knows I hate it when I make you cry.” “It’s not your fault, John. I should not have reacted the way I did. We need to talk, honey.”
Page 52 of 76John continued to hug his wife and kissed her on the cheek before finally allowing her the space to remove her coat. He walked toward the sofa and tried to act as calmly as he could, “So, where’d ya go, Doc?” John wanted answers, but before Marlena would give them to him, she wanted to know how the children were. “They’re fine. They know nothing except that you worked late last night and went in early this morning. Don’t worry about them.” But she always worried about her children, although she could take comfort in the fact that her husband did the right thing.
She could not hide her shame from him as she hung her head, “Thank you for keeping them out of this.” “Of course. So where did you go last night?” Knowing she was not going to get out of this one, she figured she’d go ahead and give him all of the details, “I checked into a hotel outside of Salem under a false name,” she stated so matter of factly. “You what?” “I didn’t want anyone to find me, John. I needed some time alone.” He spoke to himself under his breath, but loud enough for Marlena to over hear, “So it is true.”
“So what’s true, John?” He hadn’t realized she overheard him, “Uh… the alias. I called every hotel in Salem and within a hundred mile radius. No Dr. Marlena Evans Black, or any form what so ever showed up. Now I see why.” “That still doesn’t answer my question. What did you find out is true?” “See I had all those hotels fax me a name list and I ran a check on them to see what identity they matched. Well, all of them but one had a legitimate match.” “So everyone at the police force knows about this, too?” “Not exactly. A buddy of mine helped me, but he didn’t know what it was for. I didn’t go to Abe, Bo, or Roman. So they have no idea.”
“So how did you figure out that I had used an alias?” “Well see, I got this name here that had no match. Samantha Craig. I needed to know if it were you. I knew your sister’s name was Samantha, but I couldn’t recall a Craig. Well… now you might get mad at me. I went to the only person I knew could help me. Someone that knew you really well and someone we both trusted. I called Maggie. Now before you get all upset, hear me out. There was a name that had no match. So I asked her if she had ever heard of it. I needed to know if it was possible that it was you.”
The mood had begun to lighten up a bit and she finally made her way over to the sofa. She sat across from him and continued, “And what did you find out, Mr. Detective?” Smiling at her, he continued, “That your first husband’s last name was Craig. I don’t know why I couldn’t remember that and figure it out on my own.” She kinda squinched up her nose at him, “You’re not mad because I used his last name are you?” “Of course not. But I am curious why you decided on it.” “Well, I figured if I was going to use a fake name then I had better at least make it easy enough for someone to figure out in case something happened and you really needed to find me.”
***
Marlena soon found herself piddling around upstairs, were she had gone to be alone for a while. She wasn’t sure where to go from here, and neither was John. He eventually followed her upstairs walking on egg shells around her the whole time. Sure she had just come home, but so much was still to be mended. Her delicate condition could break at any moment. He had to be there. He had to make her understand that they were still a team and that he would be there with her every step of the way. For that is what a solid husband and wife team did for each other.
“I want to help you,” he firmly stated avoiding the thought that she still wasn’t ready to talk. “There’s nothing to help me with.” Whatever it was that had slowly begun to take control of her thoughts, alcohol or something else, would not allow her to open herself up, to free herself. “Marlena, you have practically shut yourself off from me and everyone else these past few weeks. And I see you in the kitchen the other night trying to drink yourself to sleep. How do you get off telling me nothing’s wrong?”
This was not going to be easy. “Marlena, sweetheart,” he slowly began, “I’m scared for you, ok. I hope to God I’m wrong here, but what if I’m not? Look, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt here, but we both know what this sort of thing can do to a person.” It had to be said, “I honestly believe that you should check yourself into an alcohol clinic and nip this thing now… before it’s too late.”
“John… I know this will sound like I’m in some sort of denial, but I really don’t feel that’s necessary.” “Yeah! That sounds like denial. I’m just so worried about you, baby. God knows I can not live without you and after all that we’ve survived, we can’t let something like this stop us.”
The anger that had been boiling inside her had finally spewed over, as she quickly turned and yelled at him, “There’s nothing to worry about!” Yet he stood firm in his belief, “I think there is.” “I’ve got it under control.” “Damnit, Marlena, this is not something to play around with.”
She turned to him and peered deep into his blue eyes and pierced his heart with her coldness, “So you think I’m an alcoholic?” It even sounded wrong to him once he heard her say it. Those words should never have to come out of her mouth. “I didn’t say that. Please don’t get defensive.”
She decided to bite the bullet and play it his way for a change, or rather the way the situation looked. She threw up her hands, “But that’s what this is all about. You come in here accuse me of having a drinking problem, and yet I’m not supposed to get upset! How the hell do you want me to feel? I am a doctor, don’t you think I would know when too much is too much!” “I think you’re human like the rest of us.”
She was fed up with their arguing, “Get out. I am not going to stand here in my own home and be accused of being an alcoholic! I had a few drinks, so the hell what!” John tried to make her understand, but it was getting him nowhere fast, “You’re drinking them alone, in the dark, when the rest of the household is asleep. I don’t think that’s normal. You’ve got a problem.”
Completely pissed off at him, she lets him have it, “I said get out!”, pounding her fists into his chest. “I’m not leaving!”, he yelled as he fought her careless blows to his chest allowing her the chance to vent her frustration. She finally begins to wear herself out, completely draining all physical strength. “It’s alright, honey. It’s going to be alright. Oh God, Doc, don’t cry. I hate it when I make you cry.” She could barely whisper her next words, “It’s not you…”
In the sweetest voice possible he spoke to her, “Tell me what it is, baby. Why can’t you do that?” She did not know how to say it other than to say, “I.. just.. can’t.” Emptiness filled his gut at the thought of her closing herself off to him. “Then I’m sorry I have to do this. I want you to make an appointment to talk to someone. Anyone.”
Page 53 of 76Marlena was gathering her briefcase for work. John came up behind her, careful not to let on to the kids what he was asking, “Are you going to talk to Maggie today?” “I already told you I am,” a non too happy Marlena replied. “Thank you,” he smiled, “I think it will be good for you.” “You still believe that this is a problem,” her words were more of a statement than a question. “I just don’t want it to become a problem.”
But her defensive side showed its face again, “You saw me one time. One time, John. That does not mean I’ve been doing this every night.” “Marlena, do you remember when I found that brand new bottle of Vodka empty in the cabinet? You told me that you were trying a recipe for a drink that we had in Hawaii.” She spat, “What’s your point?”
“We had two drinks while in Hawaii. Chardonnay and a few Screwdrivers. Vodka is not the only thing that is in Screwdrivers. Orange juice is a main ingredient. I haven’t seen an orange juice carton in weeks.” John eyed her with intent. He hated that he had to catch her in a lie in order to get her attention, “I’ve been suspecting you for a while. That’s my point.”
***
Their meeting had gone as planned and Maggie immediately called John after Marlena left. John was to meet Maggie at her house. As soon as he arrived, Maggie tried to help him understand, “John, I don’t think that Marlena is chemically dependent on alcohol.” John didn’t believe what she was saying, as she continued, “Look, I’m no expert, but I’ve lived through it. I think I’ve got enough knowledge to know when someone’s dependent. She seemed to be very much herself other than the fact that I sensed something else was eating away at her. However, that is not to say that she can’t get dependent. You need to try and reach her A.S.A.P.” “So what’s wrong with her?” It didn’t make sense to him that an exact answer did not exist.
“I don’t know. But whatever it is it isn’t good.” Maggie crossed the room as if she was gathering her thoughts, “It seems as though she’s using the alcohol to cover up whatever it is that’s really bothering her.” John’s head fell in his hands as he tried to wash away the pain that he was experiencing. “Look… we all know that the two of you have been through a rough time, so I’m not gonna stand here and pretend that it couldn’t have affected her.” “Don’t sugar coat it, Maggie, just come right out and tell me I’m to blame!”
Neither of them wanted this conversation to turn hostile toward each other. And keeping with the task at hand was much more important than any petty arguments. The last thing he needed was to stir up family emotions and get on their bad side. For John was going to need as much support as the Brady’s, Horton’s, and all of his and Marlena’s friends could give.
“John, when did you first notice that she was beginning to distance herself?” He didn’t have to think very hard at all. Even though Marlena had a reason for every suspicion that he had of her, the coincidences were just too close for comfort. He knew exactly when he first started suspecting something was wrong.
“Maggie, I knew I had hit a cord with her when I first told her about Hope and me, and the first thing she did was down a shot of Jack Daniels. And others soon followed. Oh and then I found a brand new bottle of Vodka that was empty and caught her in a lie about it. And not to mention all the times I casually thought to myself that she was able to hold her liquor alot better now than she used to could. But neither of those times did I actually think something was wrong. I knew she had a good reason to do it then,” his tone changed a bit, “but when she showed up late for Christmas Mass, and then started acting… I don’t know, strangely… I dunno. I guess it just hit me wrong.”
Maggie agreed, “Marlena has never been one to make plans she can’t keep, let alone be late for them. And her behavior has been slightly odd lately.” “That was when I realized that something was off. Fact is, I still don’t know what kept her that night.” Laura was surprised, “She wouldn’t tell you?” His fear for the worst now evident as his eyes darted toward Maggie, “I never asked.”
“Fact is, Maggie, I’ve been getting the sense that there is something else that is bothering her, but every time I try to approach her about it, she clams up. That is unlike her.” Maggie was trying hard to help him, “And she’s given you no indication as to what it could be?” “No, nothing. At this point, it could be anything.”
John was at a loss. Marlena held all of the cards and with her not willing to deal out any extra information, John had no choice but to believe it was alcohol related. “So what is my next step?” Of course Maggie was just as confused. “At this point, there are too many things we don’t know. The only thing I can suggest to you, John, is to try to get her to open up to you. Without that, you’ll never solve this problem. Oh… and you are going to have to keep a close eye on her. Make sure she doesn’t get too upset, or too emotional. You’ve got the weight on your shoulders to keep things running smoothly so that she doesn’t continue to resort to drinking.”
“Thanks, Maggie,” and he kissed her on the cheek. “Oh and John… don’t worry… this stays between you and me. But please do not hesitate to call. I love you both far too much to see you go through any more pain than necessary.”
Page 54 of 76John had went straight home from talking with Maggie to prepare dinner for his wife. Belle was going out with some of her friends, and Brady had a date with his girlfriend, so the two of them would have plenty of private time to talk. John wanted to make the air as comfortable for Marlena as possible.
Whe Marlena arrived home earlier in the evening, she had walked in on a quaint little table for two, decorated with a few candles for soft light, and a delicious meal fully prepared by her husband. “How is everything?”, he asked. He was careful not to make too much of the fact that they were having iced tea in the place of wine with their dinner. “It’s wonderful… thank you,” she spoke with a distant and almost absent sparkle in her eyes.
Dinner had gone smoothly and Marlena made herself comfortable on the sofa while John cleared away the dishes and table. He insisted on doing it without her help, even though she offered her assistance numerous times. Relaxation was about to set in when their doorbell rang. Marlena glanced toward the kitchen to see if John had heard the buzzer before deciding to answer it herself.
“Good evening, ma’am. I have a special delivery for a Dr. Evans,” the toned young man stated as he eyed the blonde figure in the doorway. She noticed his little eye gesture, but did not seem to care as she quickly replied, “That’s me,” and graciously signed his clipboard and took the letter from his hand. “Hmmm, wonder what this is,” she said aloud as the door closed behind her.
John had heard the voices from the living room while he was washing the dishes, “What’s that, sweetheart?” “Oh I’m not sure. It’s a letter of some sort.” “Who’s it for?” She bore a surprised and yet uneasy expression as she replied, “Me.” Seconds later, the remains of the envelope lie abondaned on the lamp table. Her eyes quickly skimmed the lines and then suddenly dropped the paper as if it had just burned her. She covered her mouth in horror and looked away.
“Doc, what is it?” She could not reply verbally and John stepped up to her and wrapped himself around her as if he were shielding her from pain. He did not realize it, but in a sense, he was shielding her. The pain and confusion of the last few months had been stirred up inside her again, and yet John was oblivious to it all.
The letter that Marlena had received was mailed from New Orleans. It was postmarked the day before and was addressed to ‘Dr. Evans’. It read:
You will pay the ultimate price
If you give up now
The answers are within the child
There is a clue underground
John knew this may be his one and only chance to get her to open up to him. Her obvious unease about the letter could have alot to do with her current situation and he did not have the leisure to not take advantage of the situation. He finally got her to calm down long enough for him to sit her on the sofa, “Doc, why did that letter affect you so much?”
It would be days before she ever answered him, but he was persistant in his task. It took him suggesting they go to New Orleans for her to finally utter any words. “I’m scared.” “Scared of what?” he whispered, “Is that a ‘no’ you don’t want to go?” She shook her head in disagreement, “No, I do want to go. I just can’t shake this feeling, that’s all.” John immediately took the first step through the door that now stood slightly ajar, “Do you want to talk about it?” He hoped for the best, since she had an air about her that was vulnerable.
Marlena clammed up and retreated inside herself at the hint of him trying to break her. She wasn’t ready to talk, and she turned her emotions off just as quickly as they overwhelmed her, “I’m not sure there is anything to talk about. It’s just a letter. I just got scared because I am always reminded of that terrible time when Stefano held you in that house.” The door slammed in his face before he could take another step. It was apparent he missed yet another window of opportunity. “And held us there…,” he reiterated with a sweet, yet defeated voice. “I’m ready to go to bed,” she stated. It was only nine o’clock, and John sensed that there was more to that letter that she was letting on.
‘I can’t let her go to bed yet, I haven’t figured out how I am going to make sure she does not have a drink tonight. The letter! Ugh the letter has gotten to her… she may not be able to sleep tonight… and when she can’t… she will come downstairs, and I will be waiting.’ “Ok, sweetheart, you go on up. I will join you later,” he tried to be as nonchalant as possible.
‘Hmmm… he has never not come up to bed with me. Something’s off. He thinks he is going to spy on me tonight. Well, I’m afraid I can’t let that happen.’ Her tone reaked with slyness, but it was unevident to him, “Oh JB, I was really hoping you would join me. I need to feel your arms around me tonight,” her voice sweetened to a luring effect, “It would really help me sleep.” She slid her hand over his thigh when she spoke.
She knew she had him; it took everything he had to resist her and even then, it usually failed. Her hand tightened its grip as she caresed his leg in a way that only lovers are allowed to touch each other. He could not take the chance that she really did need him. If it meant he would spend the whole night awake and holding her, then that was what he would do.
Marlena got ready for bed while John finished cleaning the kitchen. He put the last dish away in the cabinet next to the fridge, and unconciously reached to the one above. He contemplated what to do about the Vodka that remained. He could pour it out. Or he could hide it. But that would not solve anything. Marlena had to want to control her drinking on her own, and not because the liquor wasn’t in easy reach. So he lowered his arm from the cabinet and joined Marlena in their room.
John tried again to reach her, “Are you sure you’re alright? We can talk about it if it will make you feel better.” “I’m fine, John.” “Alright… you’re not going to make this easy, are you?” He was determined to get to her, although he was careful not to turn this into an all out fight.
“John… just save it. I know what’s on your mind, and I’m not going to buy into it. I’ve already told you, I do not have a drinking problem. And I’m really getting sick of being treated like I’m about to fall to peices.” The look on his face told her that she was right; that is what he was trying to get her to talk about. “Maggie even told me today that she does not believe me to be chemically dependent. Besides, a few drinks does not make someone an alcoholic.”
“I agree, but a few drinks can turn into a lot more if you’re not careful,” he paused. He had such a grim expression to his face, “I feel like this is my fault. I put you through hell over JT and Hope. I asked you to accept alot. More than what should be asked of a wife. Besides, what happens the next time you can’t sleep, huh?”
She quickly answered, “I’m doing my best to not get angry, so don’t push me, John Black. The next time I can’t sleep I will do the same thing that I always do…” John hung on every passing second before she spoke again. “I will go downstairs, watch tv, do paperwork, or whatever else I feel like doing to pass the time.” “So I have your word that you won’t try and use alcohol to make you sleepy anymore?”
She replied with a snarkyness he had not seen before, “You know… I am a grown woman, John. I am of legal age to have a drink and I will do so whenever the hell I feel like it. You saw me one time. You have no basis in which to accuse me of having done it enough to be an alcoholic.” He tried to speak, but she was through hearing anymore accusations, “No! John, I’m actually tired. I want to go to bed and get some sleep before the urge wears off. There is nothing more to discuss. This conversation is over.”
But it wasn’t over. The past few weeks she has continued to drink and pull away from her family, more and more each passing day. John did not want to believe that she could be lying to him, but she was right. He had only witnessed her drinking once. That was hardly enough evidence to go accusing someone of something so horrible.
Page 55 of 76Marlena had gotten enough sleep the night before to feel alive and well this morning. She went on to work, where only a mound of paperwork awaited her. “Cynthia, since I have no patients today, I need to get some paperwork done. Hold all my calls, please.” It was best that she did not have to see anyone today. There was alot on her mind at the moment that she needed to deal with. ‘My husband thinks I have a drinking problem. What more could there possibly be to deal with,’ she thought to herself.
The day had gone by rather quickly and John was eager for his wife to arrive home for dinner. He had much he wanted to discuss with her, like their going back to New Orleans to see if they can figure out what that riddle meant. “Hi sweetheart, it’s me,” he called her to tell her how much he looked forward to her coming home. She didn’t quite know how to tell him; Marlena had no intentions of coming home right after work.
“What do you mean, Doc? What do you have to do that is so important? I really need to talk to you.” She assumed that he only wanted to badger her more until she finally broke down and admitted to something she did not feel she was guilty of. “I want to be alone for awhile, John. I’ll be home later,” and hung up the phone.
He figured he would give her a little time and then call her back at the office, since that is usually where she stays when she wants to do some thinking. So it was no shock that when he did not get an answer, he panicked. He tried her cell phone, and still no answer. ‘I’ve got to find her,’ he thought while millions of images flashed through his mind.
Marlena stood against the wooden pole and looked out over the water. Her gaze lost in the rippling of the water as they made small waves that crashed into the pier. Once again she was oblivious to how her actions had affected her husband. Lately, it did not seem to matter to her if she wanted to be alone and John disagreed. Slowly she began being more and more selfish with her time.
As she continued to loose herself in the moon’s reflection on the water, she heard a familiar voice behind her, “I thought I might find you here.” A voice she knew well. “I thought I told you I wanted to be alone.” “You did, and you have been. And now you’re not,” his sarcasim was hardly welcomed.
oh desert speak to my heart
oh woman of the earth
maker of children who weep for love
maker of this birth
John did not want to make small talk with someone who had no intentions of being considerate enough to listen, so he decided to get right to the point. “Marlena, listen to me. Until you tell me what it is that is actually bothering you so much, I will not be able to help you. You say it is not alcohol, and for the first time, I’m beginning to believe you.” He felt her guard lower a bit. “It breaks my heart to know that you do not want to come to me. How do you think it makes me feel to be shut out of what is going on in my wife’s life, after all that we stand for? We are a solid team, or at least we once were.”
’til your deepest secrets are known to me
I will not be moved
I will not be moved
“Oh my beautiful, Marlena, mother of my children, keeper of my heart. You won’t tell me what’s wrong. I can’t figure out what’s wrong,” he paused, “I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t think there was a question.” She wasn’t making it easy, for there were still no signs that she would open up. “Maybe there is not a question here, John. Maybe there is nothing to figure out.” Suddenly her tone took on an erie feeling, “Or maybe in my time alone, I have given in to my emotions and have accepted them. So there is no more fear.” “If that is indeed what you have done, then you’re wrong. You shouldn’t give in to your fear.”
don’t try to find the answer
when there ain’t no question here
brother let your heart be wounded
and give no mercy to your fear
“Doc, maybe you’re looking for an answer to a question that doesn’t exist. It’s as if you’re searching for an orange on an apple tree. You’re looking in the wrong place… if it really is an orange that you’re looking for.” He sensed the need to make himself more clear, “You’ve got a barrel of apples right under your nose, yet you’re trying to find a solution where there is no solution.” John crossed the wooden pier to the water’s edge and gazed down into the black waters, “By you not coming to me, you’ve avoided your solution. Doc, I’m begging you, do not cut what can be untied.”
adam and eve live down the street from me
babylon is every town
it’s as crazy as it’s ever been
love’s a stranger all around
“So what are you telling me, John? That we’re just another couple in just another town having problems?” He smiled, “Well, I’m not really comfortable with the just another couple part, but you’ve got the right idea. You’re not alone. Everyone has problems. And you have me to help you.”
There was a part of Marlena that wanted to give into him, but she needed to him say the right words. And he finally did, “Doc, are you afraid to tell me in fear that I will think it’s something petty? That I will laugh at its unimportance? Because you’re mistaken if I don’t consider whatever it is extremely important. For you to have avoided me for so long, whatever the reason, it is not petty.”
in a moment we lost our minds here
and lay our spirit down
today we lived a thousand years
all we have is now
He almost had her, it would only take a little more from John, “Do you remember when we thought I was Roman all those years ago, how whenever I came across something I didn’t quite understand I would come down here to the pier? I would just sit and think for hours at a time. I guess there were just times that I didn’t get how I all of a sudden I had a wife, and she accepted me so easily. While you were at work, I would see something or hear something, and get so confused. And when you were not around for me to turn to, I always came down here.” She reiterated, “This pier has always been a special place for us.”
John nearly jumped with excitement as he felt himself getting closer to her, “Yes, it has. And when you came back to me, after five long years, where did we finally run into each other? That’s right… right here. You appeared to me out of the fog. I thought I was just dreaming it for the millionth time, but I actually got my life back that night. I thought God had sent your angel to comfort me, when he really actually sent the real live thing.”
run to the water
and find me there
burnt to the core but not broken
we’ll cut through the madness
of these streets below the moon
these streets below the moon
He stroked the side of her face with his finger as he spoke softly in her ear, “I’m on your side, baby. Whatever it is, you can tell me, and we will work through it together. I’ll always be there when you’re feeling sad or blue.” Marlena responded to his touch, “I guess that’s why I came down here today. This place holds such sweet memories for us. We always seem to connect when we are here,” a tear ran down her cheek, “I dunno… maybe I had a sense that you would find me if I came down here.” His finger lingered over her bottom lip as it quivered when she spoke, “I’m glad you did.”
and I will never leave you
’til we can say, “this world was just a dream
we were sleepin’ now we are awake”
’til we can say
Marlena stuttered over her words for a few seconds before finally telling him what she had been feeling for so long, “I’m ready to talk… if you still want to listen.” He engulfed her in his arms for an emotional embrace, “Of course I do.” She turned toward the water as if the soothing waves would make it easier for her to open up. Her arms were tight around herself, and her eyes spoke a thousand ways of how scared she was.
“I’m having the nightmares again, John.” His gut twisted, “Oh God… the same ones you had when you first came back to me?” She nodded in agreement, “They’re different though. They take place in the clinic where I stayed, but I’m not seeing images of Roman this time. I see something else.” “Do the images frighten you?” “Hm’mm.” He quickly felt his heart break and he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. “It’s ok, sweetheart, we’re safe.”
in a moment we lost our minds here
and dreamt the world was round
a million mile fall from grace
thank god we missed the ground
“How long have you been having them again?” “I dunno, a few weeks I guess.” “Come on, it’s been longer than a few weeks.” It had actually been a few months, yet how could she admit that to him without making him feel he was to blame? John must have known that this time would come. In order for him to help his wife, he had to face the fact that he was the reason she was in this state.
John stepped out from behind her and walked toward the water’s edge. His gaze was lost in the fog that was beginning to roll in. “I’m sorry, John. I don’t mean to upset you.” “No, it’s ok. You were going to tell me that the nightmares started right after I told you about me and Hope.” She couldn’t lie, not a time like this. “Yes, that is what I am telling you. I had alot of restless nights. I guess they just creeped in on me.”
run to the water
and find me there
burnt to the core but not broken
we’ll cut through the madness
of these streets below the moon
with a nuclear fire of love in our hearts
“John, please don’t turn your back on me now. I thought you said we could handle it.” He broke the hold the fog had on his senses and turned to her with tear filled eyes, “I’m so sorry I caused you so much pain. I don’t know how I can ever live with myself.” “John, I’ve already forgiven you and moved past that. Now you know why I didn’t want to come to you? Even though I do not blame you, I knew you would.”
It took alot of her energy to convince him of that, but she finally did, and then she was able to tell him more about her nightmares. “So… all the while I was having the nightmares and the images. Then next thing I know, we are in New Orleans digging into your past again.” John asked in confusion, “Wait, what does that have to do with anything?”
“They began to get worse after that.” Confusion had control of his expressions, “I don’t understand.” “Do you remember the lady I met in Paris… the one who told me to make sure that you did not forget your past? Remember how I told you that I thought it had as much to do with me as it did you?” “Sure, I remember. That night you convinced me to start up the search again.”
yeah, I can see it now lord
out beyond all the breakin’ of waves
and the tribulation
it’s a place and the home of ascended souls
who swam out there in love!
John muttered aloud, “Oh my God! The rattle! Did that rattle affect you in any way like it did me?” “No, no, I’m not getting any specifics. Like I said, they’re just flashes… of night, of a dim light, I… I hear screaming. The rattle didn’t really affect me, but do you remember how I reacted when you described what it reminded you of?” “Yeah, a baby screaming,” he was hanging on her every word. “Well, the screaming that I hear… I think it is a child.”
run to the water
and find me there
burnt to the core but not broken
we’ll cut through the madness
of these streets below the moon
with a nuclear fire of love in our hearts
John and Marlena stood for several moments in each other’s arms. The smell of her hair engulfed his senses while the sweet aroma of his lether jacket so close to her face gave her the most peaceful feeling. It felt so good to be close to one another again. So close that they’d swear they were one person.
He gently stroked her blonde hair, “Doc, we’ll figure this thing out. One way or another, I will help you to beat this.” Her head was pressed snuggly to his chest and her arms were wrapped tightly around his body as if holding on to him for life support. Her words were barely a whisper, but John heard them loud and clear “I love you.” John squeezed her tighter, “Oh baby, I know. I love you so much, Marlena.”
rest easy baby, rest easy
and recognize it all as light and rainbows
smashed to smithereens and be happy
run to the water (and find me there)
run to the water
After holding each other for a moment, John stepped back slightly to look at his wife, “So let’s make a pact. Whenever we are feeling sad or blue, and we just can’t seem to say the right things to convey how we’re feeling… let’s come down here.” She completed his thought, “And we’ll always find each other.”
Page 56 of 76With the sudden admission of Marlena’s nightmares, she and John both thought it would be a good idea to return to Maison Blanche. The idea that something was left undiscovered haunted their minds. And now that he was aware of the reason Marlena has been having so much trouble sleeping, all the more reason to search into both of their pasts. Especially considering Marlena continues to have the feeling that somehow her nightmares are related to John’s past.
There was no time to waste, so shortly after leaving the pier, they headed to the airport. Mr. and Mrs. Black arrived in New Orleans later that night tired from the days’ events and eager to get some rest before resurrecting their search in the morning.
And morning came rather too quickly for them both. Something lurked in the air in that town that day, something that led John to believe something bad would occur. “You’ve had that look all morning,” she tried to inquire as to why. “Just got a bad feeling, Doc.” “Do you want to call it off… go back home?” His eyebrows furrowed in concentration, “No. I just think we need to stay on our toes today. Be extra careful.”
They quickly ate their room service breakfast and packed a backpack with some extra food and water and flashlights for their journey. John slipped into his cargo shorts and t-shirt as Marlena changed into her khaki walking shorts and yellow t-shirt with brown leather hiking boots to match. She hurriedly pulled her hair into a ponytail and added the final touches to her lipstick. “Doc…” Seeing that he wore a sarcastic look, she offered an explanation, “It’s to keep my lips from getting chapped.” He couldn’t help but smile at her practical reasoning. And then they were off to search the plantation.
It was like a scene from a movie, a scary movie at that. The trees seemed to enclose them as they made their way to Maison Blanche, as if blocking the way from ever returning to hence they came. From out of nowhere, clouds rolled in overhead and the sky darkened to an eerie gray. It was not night, no it was nearly midday, but the plantation grounds seemed to be absent from everything lively including light.
There was a fog that graced the dense air that surrounded them. That seemed strange to them since usually when fog is found, some form of moisture is usually found with it, but not this time. The place looked as if it had not seen moisture in some time. “This is too weird,” Marlena commented while examining the ground all around them, “This fog just hangs over us, yet the ground is not wet.” And then Marlena made another unsettling observation, “Is it just me, or does this place look different since we were here last?”
It wasn’t her imagination. The place was different. There seemed to be a presence that could not be identified. Her eyes made their way around the exterior boarder of the plantation, stopping only to carefully examine the swamp in the distance. The plantation was surrounded by the swamp on three sides. The other, was open only to the gravel drive that led to the main road some distance away. The swampy beds cast a shield of protection to the plantation that made Marlena take notice.
She shivered at the sight of it all, “John… do you feel that?” A breath passed before she continued, “It feels as if we’re being watched.” She sensed correctly; the eyes of the swamp had its sights set upon them this day. The remains of the house and its grounds still protected all the answers to John’s questions, and all of those that Marlena has yet to ask. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, we’re only in the heart of voodoo country down here,” he teased. Perhaps he did so more for the sake of actually saying it in hopes it would go away, rather than to actually scare her.
Reluctantly, she continued on with him searching for some type of entrance to the dungeon below. And when they found it, with almost little effort, John spoke with yet another unsettling tone, “I don’t understand why we did not discover this before. It’s almost as if someone did not want us to find it until now.” Marlena reminded him of a conversation during their earlier trip, “You said it yourself that whoever it is will give us a clue when the time is right. That time is now, John.”
They slowly made their way into the dungeon leaving the dreary fog infested air above to enter the damp stench ridden air below. Marlena shivered, “And to think that the fog up there gave me the creeps.” The place reeked of filth and death, yet the two continued their journey further into the dungeon.
John commented, “You seem oddly comfortable given these unusual circumstances.” “It is difficult to explain. I feel as if our every step is being watched, and this place does give me the creeps. But oddly enough, I’ve got this strange sense that I will be at ease at the end of our journey.”
They walked and walked for what seemed like hours, twisting and turning down many corridors. Whether they were walking in circles, or actually making steady ground was yet to be known. John finally broke the silence as he continued to make his way through the spiderwebs, “Either my mind is playing tricks on me and we’ve been walking in circles, or this place is a hell of a lot bigger than we thought.”
Suddenly Marlena stopped dead in her tracks and tugged on John’s shirt for him to stop and look. “We haven’t been walking in circles, John. Look.” As he was staying focused on the path ahead, she was free to look around at the walls and corridors. There was a small room that contained a wooden work table or desk and some old books. Definitely an unusual sight for an underground passageway to contain.
They made their way into the room and began thumbing through its contents. “Just looks like some old useless books,” she said. John disagreed, “Odd that they are down here and of no use. Let’s take a look.” After careful examination, John pulled a dusty brown envelope from one of the book’s pages. It had an old weathered look to it. “I’m guessing it’s several years old by the way it has turned yellow,” he commented.
She took the tattered envelope from John’s hand and carefully removed its contents. She pulled from it a piece of worn paper, “It looks like some kind of note.” “Who is it addressed to?” She turned the envelope over to read the front, and her eyes grew wide with fear. The envelope was to be sent to the clinic on the island on which Marlena was held captive and was addressed to “M”.
“Could that have been meant for you?” John wondered as Marlena quickly unfolded the note. It read:
M,
Don’t let them give you the drug that makes you sleep.
Please hold on, I am coming to be with you.
It will take some time, for I am being held here against my will.
Marlena was visibly shaken by the words and all John could do for the next several moments was to ensure that she would be okay. His arms engulfed her and she consumed herself with his embrace. After all the letters and notes that had now been entered into the picture, she wondered if they weren’t pawns in some sick game. “Maybe someone is trying to throw us off track.” John wasn’t as readily able to accept such a thought. But the fact that the letters and clues have been directed more toward her made him wonder.
He was quick to add, “Maybe it is a letter to you from Roman. We know that he was held on the same island.” But Marlena shook her head, “It’s not from Roman. Why would it be addressed to the clinic if he was already there? He would have found someone to slip it to me. Besides… he’s never referred to me as ‘M’. It’s always been ‘Doc’ with him.” John had an uneasy feeling that she was right.
He was not ready to quit for the day, but he felt that the incident with the letter had shaken her up too badly. She tried to play it off, but he knew better. “Tell ya what… let’s make our way back to the Cherokee and head to the hotel.” But as luck would have it, as John opened the overhead door that led to the plantation grounds, it was heavier than he remembered. He finally forced it open and high winds and cold rain gushed down into the dungeon.
John yelled down to Marlena, “It’s storming its ass off up there! It’s not safe to run for the jeep.” He saw the fear in his wife’s eyes that told him she knew what was next, and neither of them really liked the idea. “Looks like we’ll be down here for a while. Good thing we packed this backpack. I’m starved.” John and Marlena would have to wait the storm out. The unsettling thing was that there was no way to know how long that wait would be.
“That storm just seemed to come out of nowhere. John, how long have we been down here?” She spoke with an unsure voice that told him she was scared, and she had every right to be considering what they were facing. He glanced down to his watch and an overwhelming sense of dread overtook his emotions. She knew something was wrong, “What is it?” “We arrived here around eleven a.m. this morning. It is now almost six.”
Seven hours had past since they began their search and yet they could have sworn it had only been an hour or two at the most. “We’ve been searching for seven hours, John. Where the hell did the time go?” He tried to hide his fear for his wife’s sake, “I don’t know, sweetheart. I guess we did alot more walking than we thought.” He glanced down at the black flashlight in his grip, “Good thing I replaced the batteries before we left and packed extra ones, too.”
Time seemed to pass rather quickly for them. There were no doors or windows, except for the entrance, and no outside light was allowed in. It was only natural for a person’s internal clock to loose track of actual time. But it was more than that. It was as if the dungeon was pulling them deeper and deeper into the hold it had on them. It would take a strong willed person to be able to fight the effects it would cause.
Page 57 of 76After snacking on a few pieces of fruit and crackers, Marlena gave into her physical desires to rest. John had cleared away a soft spot on the dirt floor for them to sit and relax. And within minutes of resting her head on his lap, she had drifted off to dreamland. But peaceful sleep would not come so easily.
Marlena’s body jerked up from its sleeping place with a jolt. It startled John from his nap, “Doc! It’s okay, we’re safe.” Another nightmare came and yanked away any attempt of a peaceful dream. “I’m fine. I’m just ready to get the hell out of here,” the place had began taking a toll on her state of mind. John quickly reached for the entrance door and gave it a forceful push, but it did not budge. He tried again and again and failed at each attempt. He hesitated to give his wife the dreadful news, but there was no other way. “The winds must have blown a tree down. The door is barred. Looks like we’ll be down here for a while.”
Her face turned as white as a sheet and fear overcame her being. He immediately jumped to her side, “Come on, come on, there’s got to be another way out of here. It would be unlike Stefano to not have at least one other exit.” John had a point. Stefano always had another ‘out’ for when things didn’t go as planned. Why should this time be any different? They just had the unfortunate task to try and find it.
“What time is it now,” she asked in a saddened tone. Glancing at his watch, he replied, “It’s almost ten p.m. We’ve now been here for eleven hours.” She shivered with fear that they may never get out of there alive. John stated, “We’re not doing any good by standing around. Come on, stay close to me and don’t wonder off.”
They began their search by following some of the corridors they did not take on the first exploration. The more they walked, the deeper into the dungeon they were. Finally, the two arrived at a junction in the path. They had the option of taking either the left passageway, or the right, neither of which held any sign of what was to come further down the path.
While Marlena was busy contemplating which to take, John was feeling alongside the wall, “Hey! I found a door!” To the right of the rightmost passage was a wooden door that led to yet another small room. It was empty except for a bookshelf that contained no books. “Shine the light on the walls,” Marlena suggested. The walls had stucco on them and looked as if some sort of paintings or pictures once hung there. Compared to the rest of the dungeon, this particular room, although empty, had the appearance to have been more tidy.
John said aloud what they had observed, “That’s odd. This room is really out of place for a dungeon.” Just as he said that, Marlena stepped on something that crinkled under her foot’s pressure. She quickly shinned her light on the unusual wooden floor to find a piece of paper of some sort. “Looks like a page torn from a book.” John examined the paper, “Oh my God! This looks exactly like the paper that was in the diary that Stefano burned in front of us that day! You know, the one that he claimed held all the answers to my past.” Marlena replied frantically, “I remember, I remember! What does it say?”
Journal entry- Nov 1977
Second operation on his brain a success.
I had all memories of the Priesthood removed from
his subconscience. This doctor is a genius!
So far, so good, as the subject can not recall any
information from his time in the seminary.
He thinks I gave him his priest-like qualities.
Afterall, I just want him to be able to act like a priest.
He is ready now to start his stealth training.
A few months of specialized training and he will be
ready to perform any task imaginable.
His killer instincts and his gentleman like qualities
will make him a deadly opponent.
Espionage comes in many shapes and sizes and this man
has the ability to adapt to any circumstance.
He is my greatest creation yet!
“This is me this is referring to, Doc, I’m sure of it. Stefano documented that he removed the memory of me being a priest.” “Wow. So you really were a priest. Well that’s one concrete answer to one of your many questions.” John agreed, but Marlena still sensed an uneasiness about him, “How does that make you feel, John?”
“It definitely puts my mind to rest wondering if I really ever was a priest. I know that it took some time for me to accept it and… I remember that it was difficult for you to accept it, too, but I finally did. I suppose it could have been a coincidence that I accepted the vows roughly the same time that the demon took full control over your body. Thank God I did, or…” He trailed off making her remember the details all too clearly. “The devil tried awfully hard to use your body to seduce me so that he could have my soul.”
She fought to refrain from becoming visibly upset, but she could not help herself. Tears streaked down her face as he once again found himself holding her tightly in his arms. “It wasn’t you, Marlena. I know that now. I do not blame you, besides, I should have realized that you would have never tried to seduce me away from my vows. It wasn’t you. It was the demon. In your right mind, you would never have tried that. I guess I knew then that you were still sick and confused. Damn, this priesthood thing had us all confused.”
John had let go of his embrace around her and propped himself against a wall to gather his thoughts. The journal entry’s words shook him up pretty badly and it made him wonder even more about what he will discover. “Now the question is why?” “I think we both know the answer to that one, John.” She was right. The dreaded truth was evident. “Stefano couldn’t have a trained killer turning moral on him in the middle of a mission.”
John carefully folded the page from the journal and slide it into his pocket before he continued to search every corner of the small hidden room, while Marlena contemplated which tunnel pathway to take. She peered out of the door to look at them once more as if she were hoping for some sort of sign. It would have to be a random guess, as there were no signs.
But as she turned to reenter the small room, there was a streak of white that caught the corner of her eye. She did a double take and stumbled back into the room barreling over John in the process.
“Whoa, Doc!” he said as he turned around a frantic Marlena to face him, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Her face was pale white, “That’s because I think I did. I know this is going to sound crazy, but… but… If I didn’t know better, I would swear I just saw Kristen.” John wasn’t quite sure of what to make of her ramblings. His face was that of confusion and unease, “Kristen? Kristen Blake?” Marlena affirmed, “Kristen.. Blake.. Dimera.” “That’s impossible, sweetheart. She’s dead.”
“I know, I know that. But it’s strange that I would see a white figure and it remind me so much of her if it wasn’t her. I dunno, I must have had her on my mind for some reason.” John understood where she was coming from, “This place stirs up alot of different memories for me, too.” She regained her composure and then they were on their way again.
John stopped hesitantly in front of the passageways, “Wanna flip a coin?” “Hmmm… no. I think I want to take the right one.” And after he inquired as to why, she answered, “It’s just a feeling I’m getting.” “Then right it is.” She did not want to take the time to tell him that her feeling stemmed from her earlier vision, for the figure she saw was headed toward the right passage.
They walked what seemed like an eternity through twists and turns of the underground dungeon. John had never heard of the underground passages until now, and he was eager to tell Abe about their discovery. Perhaps they were here long before Stefano ever bought the land and maybe someone could shed some light on what these passages were used for.
John and Marlena made one last turn and hit a dead end. Only it was a dead end with a door on the ceiling. “Think it’s a way out,” she asked. “Only one way to find out,” and he forced open the huge steel door with all his might and sure enough, it led to an open field above. “No way we can get out right now, Doc. It’s still storming.”
But she was not about to let a storm stop her from getting out of that dungeon. “We don’t even know where the jeep is from here,” he tried to explain. “John, it is almost two a.m. I have spent most of the day and night in a fucking dungeon in the middle of nowhere. I found a letter addressed to me on the island, you found a journal entry that we’re pretty sure refereed to when Stefano performed brain surgery on you, and I swear I think I saw someone who is supposed to be dead. Get the hell out of my way, I am making a run for it.”
And she darted out into the stormy night in search of the safety of their vehicle. John had no choice but to follow, and he darted out after her. Luckily after running alongside the rear edge of the plantation, along a beaten path by the swampy beds, they finally reached their jeep and headed back to the safety and warmth of their hotel room.
Page 58 of 76It was around 4 A.M. when they arrived back at the hotel cold and wet from running in the storm, and John and Marlena both needed some rest after what they had just faced. And they would need plenty of it for their next journey out. For now, though, John decided to surprise his wife with breakfast in bed. She was still a little shaky from last night’s events and he wanted to make her as comfortable as possible.
“Mm’mm… this was such a good idea, Mr. Black,” she commented on the food he had delivered to their room. “I thought it might be good for both of us… get our minds off of last night.” She agreed, but wondered if he had talked to Abe yet. “I called him and told him about the underground passageways. He’s going to see what he can find. Who knows, he might come up with a map of some sort.” That would make things alot easier for them. That way, they wouldn’t be guessing as to which path to take, and it would cut down on taking the same paths twice.
John had an idea about what to do next, “I don’t think you’re in any hurry to get back to the dungeon, so…” She cut him off before he could finish, “John, I told you. I’m in this thing with you. We can go back to the dungeon whenever you’re ready. I’m fine.” He smiled and kissed her gently on her lips, “You are fine, Mrs. Black.”
“But seriously, I say we spend the day in town. I’d like to talk to some locals about this underground passageway, see if they can tell us anything. Maybe we could come up with a map there.” She added with renewed excitement, “Plus, we could ask about Rachel and Celeste. Someone around here had to have seen them before.” Marlena was just as determined to find out all that they could, and she impressed John more and more with her detective attitude. He smiled and said, “And tonight, when we’re done, we can have some dinner, regroup, and go back to the plantation first thing in the morning.”
Their first stop on the agenda was a little town behind the plantation. The town’s limits backed up to the swamp that surrounded Maison Blanche on three sides, and if anyone would know of at least a good story to tell, those townspeople would. But convincing them to talk would be a whole other task.
“This place looks dead. Freakin voodoo village,” he commented as they stepped out of the Jeep and made their way across the gravel drive to the run down country store. She shot him a look that told him she did not appreciate the analogy. The store clerk greeted the two with suspicious eyes as John pulled from his pocket two pictures of Rachel and Celeste, and asked if he had seen them, or heard of them. “Never seen ’em, don’t recognize the names,” the clerk angrily spat. Getting anyone to cooperate regarding Stefano would not come easy. John tried to hold his temper, but the old man was grating on his nerves, “Well is there anyone around here that might?”
John stormed out of the store with Marlena in tow when the clerk would not give him any information. They were about to get into the Jeep when he saw a shaggy old man beside the store in the tall weeds. The man motioned for John to come over. He spoke in a very southern tone, “I heards ye askin about those thar women. I heard of ’em. Know that they werked for that Dimera family across that thar swamp.”
John questioned the old man about his knowledge of them, and the shaggy man replied, “The town don’t think I know much. Think I’m just an old drunk retard, but that ain’t true. I knows what goes on around these parts. They can’t hide everything, ya know. And secrets always come out.”
Marlena got the feeling that the man could not be trusted, that he could be working for Stefano, but any information at this point was more than they had, “What do you know about these two women exactly?” “That one thar,” he points to Rachel’s picture, “she used to be here a long long time ago. But then she went away. Sumpthin ’bout being burned. I think she went to a foreign place.” He continued pointing to Celeste’s picture, “And that one… rumored she was the master’s mistress. She obeyed him, but people think she tried to get free, but he wouldn’t let her go. Don’t know whatever happened to her.”
He paused to look in the direction of the swamp that separated the two properties. His face told the tale that he was deep in concentration as if he were pondering how to speak of the other news he had to give them. Fearing that he may be saying too much, he lowered his voice and spoke, “Thar’s a legend with the townspeople. Story goes that the master created a man in the big white house. Performed brain surgery to make him a killer.”
John swallowed hard and glanced at Marlena whose eyes demanded to not utter a word about John possibly being the man he referred to. The man sensed that he had revealed too much information and started toward the thick brush. “John, let him be,” she said as she clung to his right arm.
Before running off too far he stopped, “Hey! One more thing. You two ain’t the only ones been running round over thar lately. People claiming they seen the walkin dead,” and before they could inquire more, the man took off into the thick brush that surrounded the store leaving John and Marlena standing there intrigued and fear stricken. The man’s ‘walking dead’ comment hit Marlena hard as she pondered its relation to her earlier experience.
***
Their next stop found the Blacks at a boat dock on the river. John spotted an elderly man at the furthest end of the dock. He was tinkering with a component that looked like it came from an engine. Of all the people hurrying around the dock, he had the appearance of someone who spent enough time there to see alot of what goes on.
John took his wife’s hand and motioned for her to follow his lead with the man, and they headed down the long wooden pier. “Excuse me, sir. I’m wondering if you could help my wife and I out. We’re looking for an old friend of ours.” After much hesitation, the man looked at the picture of Rachel. John then showed him the one of Celeste, “And this here was a close friend of hers. It’s really the only lead we have to go on as far as finding our friend. We were hoping maybe someone around here might have known one of these two ladies. It’s real important that we find Ms. Rachel.”
They had obviously interrupted what looked like a mindless way to waste time, but the man finally offered some information, “Oh what the hell. You two look like good honest people. I don’t know nothing about that dark one,” pointing at Celeste’s picture, “but this one here, well… I’ve seen her. She used to come into this port years ago. Always had a young man with her. I’m retired from working at Tolly Import-Export Industries. I used to work on the boats around here and I saw everything and everybody that entered and exited this dock. I only remember her because her little boy used to always rush down to me from the departure plank of the ship. He was always so excited to see me and speak of his trips around the world.”
John’s gut twisted a million times, “Sir… do you remember the little boy’s name?” “Sure. He had the most unusual of names. Forrest Alamain.” John swallowed hard as his gut hit the floor. Marlena could see that he was bursting with questions, but she feared for their safety if he blew their cover, “Um, sir… when was the last time you saw the boy and the woman?”
The man did not have to think too hard to recall the memory, “He was about sixteen the last time I saw him, but his mother, er, I only assume she was his mother. I last saw her about a year earlier than that. She mentioned something about going home, to the place across the ocean. She had bandages covering her face because she had been burned in a terrible accident. I guess that would have been somewhere around nineteen sixty three, or sixty four.”
She continued, “Do you have any idea of what happened to the boy?” “Not really. I remember him pondering the thought of going into the seminary, but that he had a girlfriend at the time that he was very much in love with and he really didn’t want to give her up. I suspected there was alot more to his situation. Why would he give up the girl he loved unless he was being forced to?”
Marlena questioned, “And you never saw him again?” “No.” She swallowed hard, “What about the girlfriend? Did you ever see her?” The man replied, “No.” Marlena made sure the man knew how thankful they were for his cooperation, “Sir, you have been more than helpful. If we run across anymore clues, would you mind if we came back to talk to you about them?” And after she thought about it for a moment, she gave the man her cell number in case he remembered anything else.
Marlena was busting at the seams when they reached the Jeep, “Well, there’s our positive evidence that you were a priest, as if there was really any doubt. But I don’t get how Rachel is tied into everything. And what really blows my mind is… if Rachel was Peter and Kristen’s mother, why did you never know them until a few years ago when they came to Salem?” John was finally finding some hard facts about his past, yet there were still so many questions left unanswered.
***
A beautifully dressed blonde figure wearing a pale yellow spaghetti strap dress exited the bathroom, “Honey,” Marlena began as she wrapped her arms around her husband’s waist, “why don’t you take me out to dinner… have a little wine, do a little dancing, don’t you think it would be good for us.” It was more of a statement rather than a question.
He eyed her suspiciously, “You really think you should be doing that?” Her hands dropped from his waist in haste, “Are we back to this again?” “I never really left it,” he stated. “John… we’ve been over this. I do not have a drinking problem! Now we have had one hell of an event filled last few days here. I want to go out and relax, have a good time with my husband.”
He sputtered, “Marlena…” “Fine! I’ll just go down to the bar then,” she snapped back. “They wouldn’t serve you anyway,” his eyelids closed and he bit his lip in fear when he realized he had made the slip. She whipped around and glared right into his eyes, “You’re keeping tabs on me,” referring to the obvious fact that he had left orders with the hotel that under no circumstance, were they to serve her any alcohol. She did not have the energy or the will to argue with him, “Alright, I’m going to bed if you’re not going to take me to dinner.”
***
Over dinner, they discussed their next move, as Marlena suggested, “I really think you should consider going to Aremid.” He looked at her with tired eyes, “I know… but I think that there is still plenty to be found at the plantation. I’d like to go back there first thing.” She nodded in agreement even though she knew he was scared to go back to Aremid for some reason.
His eyes told the story of how bad he felt for his earlier antics, “I’m really sorry about earlier. I should not have done that. I’m just so worried about you, sweetheart.” “John, I am an adult, and a doctor at that. I know when I’ve had too much.” John was trying his best to reach her, “Doc, it’s not just you drinking casually and getting a little tipsy. We’re talking about possible addiction here.”
Her patience was tried as she leaned closer to the table’s edge and let him have it, “Well you know what, John? It’s a real wonder that I’m not an alcoholic or clinically insane with all of the shit that I’ve been put through.” He closed his eyes and let her words sink deep into his heart. He was not about to give up caring for her, but he knew if they were going to continue to work together, he needed to make peace.
“I tell ya what. If you promise me that if you feel an urge to drink more than usual coming on you’ll come and talk to me about it if I promise to trust you. How’s that?” She took in a deep breath and let out an exhausted sigh, “I’d say that if you’re serious about trusting me, then I’ll agree to that.”
John had something else on his mind, too, “Doc, what about your Woman of the Century contest? This trip may keep us out for a while.” Marlena nodded, “I’ve already thought about that. I’ll call my manager in the morning. The election is still a ways away. But I’m prepared to drop out of the running if it comes to that.”
John felt bad for her to have to do that, but it comforted him to know that she was with him one hundred percent in his search. He needed his wife more than ever, and she needed her husband more than she knew.
Page 59 of 76The next morning came sooner than either would have preferred. John called Abe as he drove them back to the plantation. “Abe, I’d bet my life on it that I was the boy the man at the boat docks was talking about. I mean, he said the boy’s name was Forrest!… Yeah, I know, it is strange. But I guess I really did know Rachel before she came to Salem a few years ago. Now, I’ve just got to find out why… Okay, partner, thanks for watching out for the kids while we’re down here. I’m sure Marlena will check in on them soon… I’ll keep ya posted on anything else we find… Later.”
He hung up as they were pulling onto the grounds. It was eight A.M., yet the place still had the eerie feel to it and the unnerving fog was still present. John slowly helped his wife back down into the dungeon, “Careful, sweetheart,” as she stepped down past him.
With the flashlight shining the way for them, they started into the dungeon and tried to take different paths than before. “Keep track of the time,” she advised, “I don’t want to waste my life in this God foresaken dungeon.” John came prepared for the worst this go around bringing extra food and water and a few other select necessities.
“Whoa… I thought I felt something a second ago,” turning around to backtrack, he felt on the dirt wall to his right, “the texture here changed. Must be a door of some sort.” He shinned the light all over the area, “It’s an iron door. What the hell is an iron door doing down here?” When no door handle could be found, he put all of his weight into it and the door slowly slid open.
“Stay close,” he said when he grabbed hold of her hand. A sarcastic Marlena replied, “Don’t worry,” when suddenly her foot hits something very solid, “Ouch!” Her outcry instantly alerted John, and he of course observed the object. The light from his flashlight caught a shiny object which enticed him to shine it in her direction. “Looks like some type of iron chair.”
Marlena wasn’t sure she wanted to know what they were about to discover. “This was probably used as some sort of torture chair.” Unbeknownst to him while he was busy inspecting the chair, Marlena had wondered off in another direction.
A loud shriek pulled him to her, “Doc, are you alright?” She was fine, but what she saw startled her beyond what sanity allows one to endure. Hanging on the wall was an expensive cabinet with its thick glass protecting an assortment of long iron poles with sharpened points. Lying on the huge iron table that sat in the middle of the room were a pair of arm and leg shackles that were used to pin someone to it. Blood stained the lower part of the table as if the unfortunate soul who was last tied there received a painful thrust to his midsection impaling him upon impact.
“That sick bastard. It’s no telling who he has used this on.” The sight of the table made her sick, “John, I’m not sure I can stay here much longer.” Yet as she spoke, he noticed on the wall opposite the end of the table, another set of arm and leg shackles. He assumed that they were used to force someone to partake in the gruesome event. The skin chilling sight also led him to believe that they were last used to hold a person of small stature, possibly an adolescent.
“What the…?” John scammered to find his wife’s hand and get them out of that room; the big iron door slammed loudly behind them. She collapsed into his arms. “It’s ok, sweetheart. I’m sorry you had to see that, hell, I’m sorry I had to see that.” She stepped back from him reassuring herself that she was okay. All she really wanted to do was get moving.
“Damn! It won’t budge. We’ve got to find another way out of this room,” John stated as he slammed his fists into the iron door. The reality of the situation sank in as Marlena’s eyes grew wide and her throat tightened. Dying in this room was completely out of the question. “I’ll help,” Marlena rushed to her husband’s side and they both began feeling out the walls for another door.
Luck came and they started down another corridor and approached yet another door. John was about to walk in when Marlena suddenly stopped, “What is it, Doc?” She peered down the dark path with her dim flashlight, “I saw it again.” “Saw what again,” he asked. But before he could get a reply out of her, she had started in the direction in which she was looking. “Doc!” and he took off after her since it was evident that his calls would be ignored.
He jogged up beside her, “Doc, you can’t just go running off down here like that.” “I’m sorry, but I figured you’d just follow me anyway,” she talked while continuing down a dark pathway. “Where are we going?” “I told you. I saw that white figure again. I’m going to see if I can catch up to it.” “Doc,” he stopped her by grabbing her arm, “since when do you go chasing ghosts down dark dungeon passageways?” She spat back, “That was no ghost. Now come on, or we’ll loose it.”
John was unsure where all this courage she possessed came from. She had always been an independent woman, but that was in the real world. This was like a fantasy; it is not everyday that two people get to romp around a dungeon in search of clues to their pasts. “I’ve never known you to be so brave.” She eyed him with a scared, but sure of herself look, “Me either,” but she was determined to find an answer to the white figure. It was just too real to be a figment of her imagination.
While following the long corridor that she saw the figure take, they came upon a door and another passageway to the right. “Do we go through the door, or do we take the path on around,” he questioned. She carefully considered the situation. The last two times she had seen the figure were times when they were about to enter a room. Maybe the figure is keeping an eye on them, and it appears when it seems to be out of view. Marlena was willing to take the chance; she wanted to know if these “ghosts” the old man from the town spoke of were real or not.
John slowly stepped through the doorway which led to another room, but as he did, Marlena stayed behind hoping to catch another glimpse of the figure. This time she was ready. And sure enough, the figure appeared again. Marlena took off down the pathway until she came upon a T intersection. She could either continue on straight, or turn sharply to the right. She chose to turn right and ran smack dab into something. Or was it someone?
The figure grabbed Marlena, and shoved her through an open door. John did not hear her screams, for she only made a faint squeal, as the figure was covering her mouth. By this time, Marlena realized that she had dropped her only light source outside the door and she was now standing face to face with someone in the dark. She had no idea who it was, where she was, or how she would ever survive the complete and utter fear she was experiencing.
Page 60 of 76The room was damp and muggy and smelled of rotting dirt. Doom had nearly set in. Marlena could not see. She could only hear the pounding of her heart echo in her head. A light flicked on. The figure held Marlena’s flashlight under its chin to reveal the face of doom. The sight nearly knocked her into shock, for it was a face she never expected to see again.
Marlena’s brow furrowed and her mouth dropped, “Kristen?” “In the flesh,” she responded. “How can this be? We thought you were dead. Are you ok?” Kristen answered, “Would you really care if I wasn’t?” The mood in that small room quickly turned tense. Marlena didn’t want to argue with the woman who had almost ruined not only her life, but the lives of many people she loved; she only wanted answers.
“Well, for starters, it is obvious I am not dead,” Kristen stated. “I can see that, unless it is some sort of a Stefano trick,” Marlena was careful not to take everything at face value. “I assure you… Stefano has nothing to do with me being alive and well. That ungrateful bastard.” Kristen was cold and unfeeling when she spoke of her adoptive father.
Marlena took note of her feelings, and avoided questioning her anymore about Stefano. Instead, she thought it a much better idea to ask, “What the hell are you doing here anyway?” There was much to tell about where she had been the last three years, but only one thing was important enough to speak of at that moment.
Kristen finally spoke, “Marlena, I could spend hours explaining to you what I’m doing here, and even more interesting, how I got here, but there is something else that I would like to say first.” She paused for a brief moment to insure that she had Marlena’s undivided attention, “I want to tell you that I am sorry.” Granted, that was not what she expected to hear, and a concentrated look crossed Marlena’s face, “What?”
“Look, Marlena,” she spoke with a desperate and believable tone, “I’m not here to try and destroy your life if that’s what you’re thinking. By the way, I could ask you the same question. Why are you here?” Marlena quickly responded, “John and I have started searching into his past again.” “Well, guess what… so are we. Searching my past, I mean.”
Marlena suddenly felt an unease as she looked around the room in search of the ‘we’ Kristen spoke of. When she did not find anyone else, she got a little scared, “Who’s we?” Kristen realized what she had said and tried to play it off as calmly as she could, “Oh, it’s no one. I’m really only here by myself. I just meant that I’ve had some help. That’s all.” But Marlena wasn’t buying it. Something was up, but what?
Kristen did not want to have to explain herself any further at that moment so she needed to turn Marlena’s attention back to what she wanted to say. “In short, Marlena, if at all possible…” Marlena hung on her every word. “I’d like to become friends.” Marlena was taken aback, “Friends? You want to be my friend?”
Kristen continued, “I know it sounds odd, but it’s true. I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here for my own personal reasons, but since it is obvious we may be running into each other in this city, we should at least try and be civil toward each other. God knows there are enough weirdos to deal with around here, we don’t need to be fighting with someone we actually know.”
Marlena could definitely agree with that, “You could say that again.” Ever since they arrived in New Orleans she has had the oddest feeling that they were being watched. Perhaps for a moment after running into Kristen, she thought that maybe she was the one watching them, but the feeling hasn’t really left yet. In fact, she feels now more than ever that something isn’t quite right, almost like Kristen is being watched, too.
“Kristen…” “No, let me talk,” Kristen was determined to convince Marlena that she was sincere, “I’ve been away for a long time and where I was, I was able to do alot of thinking while I was gone. I know that I hurt so many people, John, the Brady’s, the Horton’s, and possibly most of all you. I know that, and I can not begin to make you understand how sorry I am for that. But you’ve got to believe me when I say that I only want to be friends.”
At that moment, it appeared that Marlena was really listening to what Kristen was saying. “Think about it, Marlena. Think about how good we could have been together. We had the chance to be the best of friends, and yet I made us the worst of enemies. I’m sorry for that. I would really like a second chance.”
“You’ll have to forgive me for being skeptical. I’m in this God forsaken dungeon, and I run into someone who I believed to be dead. Who the last time I saw her, she tried to drug me only to drug my daughter instead. I mean, did you ever once stop to consider that Belle would be allergic to Penicillin, too?”
“Point taken,” Kristen responded, “And I’m even more sorry about Belle.” Obvious sadness overtook all emotion as she made her way to a nearby wall. The appearance of despair filled Marlena’s eyes as she watched Kristen wonder around the room. She rubbed her hand down the wall and raked off some lose dirt, “You know, I still have not been able to experience the joy in raising a child of my own. Yet another thing that I wish could have been different.” On a deep emotional level, Marlena related to the pain that Kristen spoke of. “I know how difficult it is to have that chance snatched away from you. Believe me, having known D.J. for the short amount of time that I did, did not making loosing him any easier.”
A few minutes past while Marlena allowed Kristen the time to recompose herself after being reminded yet again of a life long dream that had been shot down. After she had allowed her ample time, Marlena spoke softly, “I’ll consider giving you a second chance. But the first time you slip up, you are out, you got that?” Kristen agreed. “Now come on, get me back down that hallway to John. He’s going to flip out when he sees you. Which reminds me, you’d better let me bring this on him easily.”
Before heading back down the hallway, Marlena drilled her with several more questions to confirm her identity and her sincerity. All evidence pointed to this not only being Kristen Blake Dimera, but also to the fact that she was sincere in her request to befriend Marlena. The two ladies made their way back down the long hallway to the room in which Marlena had left John. It wasn’t too difficult to find, especially for Kristen, who had obviously spent some time in the dungeon by the way she knew her way around.
***
John did not believe the news that his wife had given him. He assumed she had seen something in the corridor and it had spooked her out so much that she started hallucinating. In a desperate attempt to prove her credibility, Marlena reached around the outside of the door, to a nervously waiting Kristen, grabbed her and pulled her in.
John’s jaw dropped, “This is a joke, right?” Marlena stepped to his side and held on to his arm to comfort him, “No honey, it’s no joke. As far as I can tell, this really is Kristen.” It was understandable that he did not believe his eyes, afterall, he was staring at a woman whom he had previously loved. A woman who he may have still been involved with if it had not been for her deceit. He loved Marlena; she was the true love of his life, his passion, his world. And if it were not for Kristen’s deceit, he may have never had the chance to re-experience that love. Or at the very least, it would have only prolonged the inevitable, for John and Marlena were destined to be together.
The irritability in John was showing, “It’s been a long day.” The two ladies watched as John made his way back out through the corridor, “John’s having a hard time with this,” Marlena noted. His step lacked the enthusiasm it possessed earlier in the day. John was beginning to feel the tired and weary effect that Maison Blanche holds over its visitors. “He’ll be fine after a good night’s rest. It will do us all some good.”
Page 61 of 76John sat on the edge of their hotel bed, running his hands nervously through his hair, “I just don’t get it, Doc.” She sat next to him and offered her comfort, “I’m going to go talk to her. I want to hear more about how she got here.” John tried to protest, but she insisted that he try and get some rest and that she would be back shortly.
Moments later, there was a knock at Kristen’s door. The fact that she was alive after all these years was odd enough, but her staying in the same hotel as they were made things even more strange. Kristen greeted Marlena at the door and practically pushed her way past Marlena and into the hallway, “Let’s go down to the restaurant. I’m starved.” Marlena did not give much thought to the oddness of her actions given the unusual circumstances, but she wondered was there something in Kristen’s room that she was hiding.
The restaurant was nearly empty with only one other couple dining at a distant table. It was fast approaching eleven o’clock in the evening as the two blondes enjoyed their mixed drinks and appetizers. “Isn’t it weird,” Kristen began, “how fast time flies when you’re in that dungeon.” It was more of a statement than a question, but Marlena felt the need to respond, “You noticed it, too?”
Marlena went on to say, “That place gives me the creeps,” as she shivered. The waiter brought their drinks and the two ladies thanked him. They both sat in silence for a few moments each wondering where this conversation would lead. Marlena decided to break the ice, “So, Kristen… what are you doing here, anyway?”
Kristen had been expecting that question, and it was more than obvious that she was hoping to avoid it at all costs. However, she new Marlena as well as anyone and when she doubts someone, or suspects someone, her senses are usually heightened enough to know if that someone is lying. Kristen knew better than to lie, especially now when she claimed to want to make friends.
Kristen took a gulp of her Brandy and took a deep breath. “I’m here to discover the truth about my childhood. I’ve had my doubts about the relationship between my mother and Stefano for some time now. Not to mention that I’d love to find enough information on that bastard to bring him down for good.”
Where her ears deceiving her? That was the second time tonight that Kristen had referred to Stefano in such a harsh way. “Kristen, why the negativity toward your adoptive father? You used to be so close.”
Kristen snapped, “He is not my father! Not anymore!” Marlena tried to settle her down, but it was no use. Kristen jumped up from her seat and walked out onto the balcony of the restaurant before Marlena could get through to her. She wondered what it would take to get Kristen to open up. Something was driving her, but what?
Marlena found Kristen leaning on the railing gazing out into the night. The restaurant in their hotel was several floors up, so they had a nice view of the bustling street below. Party goers were out in droves as the New Orleans night life was waking up. It was still a mystery how time flew so quickly in the dungeon when it seemed as though they had only just arrived at the time they were leaving.
Marlena spoke softly, “Beautiful night. It’s a shame more of us can’t enjoy a night like this.” “What do you mean?” Kristen asked. This was Marlena’s chance to get Kristen to trust her. “Vacations. John and I never seem to be able to take off on a relaxing vacation. No one in Salem seems to manage that. Seems there’s always some trouble brewing from the House of Dimera. John, Bo, and Roman always seem to be fighting him.”
Kristen suddenly felt guilty, “I’m sorry. My father has hurt so many people.” She turned to look at Marlena for the first time since walking out to the balcony, “Mainly you. No matter who his wrath is directed upon, it always seems to indirectly hurt you and John.”
The anger in Marlena’s voice was evident, “Your father, as you say, has a sick way about him. He loves his children so much. And he seems to have a loyalty about him… It is a shame that he feels he needs to have control over someone in order to make them loyal to him.”
Kristen was genuinely sorry for the pain her adoptive father had caused. “He thinks what he does is all in the name of love. But love is not controlling. Real love is free. Stefano doesn’t understand that concept. His obsession with you has caused you and your family much heartache through the years.”
She went on to say, “There was a time when I thought Stefano’s way was the right way. I thought I could be like him and get what I want. When in fact, I only wound up hurting the man I loved and so many other good people.” “You’re speaking of John. Do you still love him?,” Marlena wondered.
“Don’t worry. I’m not trying to get close to you to get John back,” Kristen replied. “Good, because you’d never win this time,” Marlena smirked. Kristen made her way back to the railing and sighed. “There was a time when I loved him. But honestly, in the end, I only wanted him because I couldn’t have Tony. And because John only wanted you. I guess that was the Dimera coming out in me. I thought I understood Stefano’s way of reasoning, but it is wrong. I know that now. He gets hurt in the end when he looses, too. He just doesn’t want to admit it.”
Marlena empathized with her, “What you just said… it stays between you and me. It would crush John to know you felt that way.” Kristen looked right into Marlena’s eyes and said, “I don’t deserve that, but thank you. I give you my word that my intentions are honorable toward you and your family.”
Marlena answered, “I believe you. You can count on me as your friend.” Kristen was relieved as Marlena continued, “And you’re right you know. About what you said about us being the best of friends. We’ve already been the worst of enemies. It’s time for a change.”
“Marlena, you have no idea what this means to me, and I respect that our friendship will have to grow into what it will become. I know this will not happen over night.” After Kristen spoke, she turned to walk back inside, but Marlena stopped her.
“Kristen, wait. There is one thing I want to ask you. How did you get here? I mean… I thought we buried you.” She knew the truth needed to come out if she were to gain Marlena’s complete trust. She just never expected it to be so hard to deal with.
Kristen told Marlena the story of Susan Banks’ other sister, Penelope, and how she was the one who drowned in Peter’s swimming pool. She admitted to sending Susan to live with a Sultan, but that in the end, she got what she deserved because Susan escaped and turned the tables on Kristen. Kristen added that Susan and Edmund and little Elvis are happily living in England. But the most interesting part to Marlena was when Kristen spoke of how she eventually escaped with the help of Tony.
Marlena was shocked, “Tony? How…” “That’s a whole other story,” Kristen laughed. She continued telling Marlena how Tony rescued her and how she was reunited with the one true love of her life. They decided together that they would beat Stefano to be free from his evil.
Marlena already had her suspicions that Kristen was hiding something, and now she was even more determined to find out what it was. “Tell me the truth, Kristen. Is Tony what you’re hiding in your hotel room?”
Page 62 of 76When Marlena arrived back at their suite, she found John flipping through the channels on the television. He told her he couldn’t sleep knowing that she was off somewhere with Kristen. The words sounded even more strange saying them aloud verses thinking them. Marlena then told him that she and John need to go to Kristen’s hotel room right away.
John and Marlena waited impatiently as Kristen opened the door to their suite to reveal Tony Dimera. They both gasped in shock at what they saw. “It’s true,” Marlena gasped, “You really are alive.” Tony smiled at her, “Marlena, my old friend. What a pleasant surprise to run into you here.” He held out his hands as he approached her and they hugged.
Marlena was not quite sure what to think of his gesture at first, but it was only natural. After all, they were at one time very good friends. But that was before Stefano came to town and she felt the wrath of the Dimeras’ evil ways. It took everything John had not to rip her arm off as he yanked her back to him. “Keep your damn hands off of her, Dimera!”
Marlena shot John the evil eye as Tony offered, “John, I assure you… I mean no harm to you or Marlena.” John spat back, “And why should I believe your lies?” “Your wife doesn’t seem to think they are lies. Kristen told me how they offered their friendship to one another.”
That did not change John’s feelings about the situation. “Obviously Marlena was not in her right mind.” This pissed off Marlena. She pulled him to the side, “I don’t appreciate you speaking of me in that way. Besides, I think we should hear Tony out. I’m kinda curious as to how he will explain his framing you for his murder.” John hated it when his wife was right. “Fine,” he spat.
“Alright, Dimera, let’s hear it. Tell us how you got here and be sure to include the part about why you decided to frame me for a murder I did not commit!” It was no surprise that John was angry.
Tony began, “Thank you, John. I’d be glad to tell you this story. And I promise, you will not be disappointed when you offer your friendship in return.” John’s eyes glared at him with intent, “We’ll see about that.”
Tony began his story when he realized he had a dreaded disease and that his time was nearing an end. He, of course, went to Stefano for help. Stefano had just regained his memory and was keeping it from Marlena who was offering her support through counseling. By regaining his memory, he not only remembered his children and the empire he had built, but also his hatred for his nemesis, John Black.
Stefano knew he was loosing his chance with Marlena, as if there really ever was a chance, but he thought he could win her by getting in on her good graces. She had begun to see a new and improved Stefano. An amnesiac Stefano, albeit. “So, when I told Father of my short time, he in turn saw me as an opportunity to get what he has always wanted. John’s life.”
Stefano made a deal with Tony. He would find a cure for Tony’s disease if Tony would help him frame John for Tony’s murder. After all, Tony was dying in the eyes of all of Salem, so faking his death should come at an easy feat. And when the time came to bring Tony back, no one would really be surprised. After all, he was, too, a Dimera. What a marvelous plan.
Tony also added how his original plan for his diary to get into the hands of someone who could save John from execution. Tony never wanted him to die. So, he had it worked out that he would be given the cure, his diary would be found, and John would be saved.
But that is where it went all wrong. The timing of events completely fell apart. John was freed before Tony could ever get the cure. “When Stefano’s plan failed, and John was freed despite the evidence, he was outraged and turned his anger on me. He had lost Marlena and lost the chance to watch John die. He refused to give me the cure for my disease and turned his back on me, vowing to never help me again. He immediately ousted me from his life, from his resources. He left me to die, yet out of some miracle, I did not. I survived. And as I gained strength, I was able to find a cure on my own.”
Tony’s tone softened, “I thought I was dying. Stefano was my last hope and in some way, I had nothing to lose. But I never intended it to turn out the way it did. Just the mere notion of getting a cure… well, it was all I could think of. My mind as I knew it was gone. I gave no second thought to hurting you or your family and yet I have never been more sorry of anything in my life. I have no excuse other than to say I was out of my mind. I, too, was angry at you for my problems with Kristen. Having Father turn his back on me was the best thing that could have ever happened to me at that moment, for I’ve finally seen how truly evil his ways are.”
Tony went on to ask for John’s forgiveness, but understood if he could not offer it immediately. John pulled Marlena to the side after listening to Tony speak. “Are you buying this garbage?”
Marlena spoke softly, trying to offer some reason to the situation, “John, I have known Tony for a very long time. Did he get involved with Stefano? Yes. But he has always had his own limits. There was always so far that Tony would go. Unlike Stefano.”
John did not see it the same way. He has only known Tony for a short time and under bad circumstances at that. John met him when Tony came back to Salem to claim the love of his life, and only knew him as a Kristen’s true love. And Tony only knew John as a threat to his relationship with Kristen.
John turned back toward Tony and glared at him with suspicious eyes, “Why should we believe you? What the hell are the two of you doing here anyway?” Tony asked, “Didn’t Marlena tell you?” He was referring to the talk that Kristen and Marlena had the night before. “I want to hear it from you, Dimera,” John demanded.
Tony sighed as he began, “Okay, as Kristen earlier told your wife, we’re here in search of our true pasts and with any luck we can find a way to bring Stefano down.” John still remained skeptical. “Look, John, if you don’t believe us, fine. But don’t accuse us of being a threat to you or Marlena.”
Marlena looped her arm through John’s causing him to look at her. Her eyes and expression told him that she is willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. John was not as trusting as his wife, though, and would need alot of time to know for sure if these two were up to their old Dimera tricks again.
Tony immediately recognized the comfort that Marlena held in his presence, “John, it is obvious to me that your wife is willing to give us a chance. I would like, if I may, to offer something to you.” John quickly turned to meet Tony’s glances.
Tony began, “Kristen and I have been searching the underground dungeon at Maison Blanche. We’re trying to find some proof of Stefano’s illegal activities and bring him down for good. You see, Stefano severed all ties when he turned his back on us. I don’t take kindly to such actions. Even if he is my father. He turned his back on his children. Now his children want revenge.”
John’s patience was being tried, “Just get to the point, Dimera. What is this that you say you want to offer?” “Kristen tells me that you and Marlena have been touring the dungeon as well,” his voice grew dim, “I know that place like the back of my hand. I’d bet money that there are places you have not been.”
Marlena tightened her grip on John’s arm. The realization that this could be the big break that they needed sank in fast. John may not trust them at the moment, but this may be his only chance of discovering something in that dungeon that otherwise he would not have found.
“What are you saying?” John questioned. “I’m offering to take you there. As a gesture of good will. John, think about it. Would you go down in a dark dungeon with someone you didn’t trust?” Tony’s mysterious tone bothered John.
He turned to his wife once again, “You’re in this with me. What do you think?” “I don’t think we have anything to worry about. That last remark he made, well, he’s just trying to get under your skin. He knows you don’t trust him. It’s the Dimera nature to toy with people.”
“And yet you trust him,” John remarked sarcastically. “I think we should give them a chance,” she answered. Kristen felt Tony’s last comment was causing a problem for John and Marlena and wanted to offer her concern. “I’m sorry if what Tony just said bothered you. You really do not have anything to worry about. We’re not setting you up for a trap. You have my word on that, Marlena.”
Since John just could not allow himself to verbally accept such an offer as he felt it would be a sign of weakness, Marlena accepted their offer. “We’ll do it. When do we leave?” Kristen exchanged smiles with her as Tony replied, “In the morning. Even I don’t want to be in that place when the sun goes down.”
Chills ran down Marlena’s spine at the thought of what they could have encountered when they were trapped there during the storm.
Page 63 of 76John closed the door to his Cherokee and watched as Marlena made her way over to Kristen. It made him very uncomfortable that she felt at ease around Kristen and Tony. The men gathered the backpacks and flashlights while the two women discussed keeping track of the time. They both synchronized their watches. When Marlena noticed John looking at her she smirked, “I’m not spending my life in that dungeon.”
“Here,” John handed Marlena one of the backpacks, “your lipstick is in the front pocket.” Tony eyed the two of them with confusion while John explained, “Her own brand of chapstick.” “Seems my wife shares the same thought process,” Tony said as they all glanced over at Kristen and then at Marlena who were both putting the finishing touches on their lips. “What? It really works, right, Marlena?”
“Enough chit chat. Let’s get going,” John tried his best not to be too insensitive. The four of them began following Tony. They approached the underground entrance in only a few minutes. As part of his effort in trying to prove to John that his intentions were good, Tony insisted that he enter first into the dungeon.
Tony then helped Kristen down and was about to assist Marlena when John butted in, “Keep your damn hands off her, Dimera.” John climbed down and then reached up for his wife, “I’ve got you, Doc.” John sat her safely on her feet, “That wasn’t some macho, male competition thing. I just don’t trust those two.”
While Marlena was searching her backpack for her flashlight, John grabbed Kristen by the arm and stopped her. “I hope you’re not planning on using this little journey as an excuse to unload all of your problems on Doc.” “Excuse me?” she asked. “Marlena’s had a rough time lately. She doesn’t need to be bombarded with your pathetic problems.” Kristen watched as John made his way toward Marlena and wondered what he meant.
The foursome took off down a dark corridor being led by Tony. John was not about to led down his guard and reminded Marlena of the same, “Stay alert. And stay close. I don’t want you to go wandering off.” “Don’t worry,” she reassured.
They made many twists and turns while making their way through the underground dungeon. Some corridors were a tight squeeze, but everyone made it through safely. Anger was setting in with John from having to follow Tony into the depths of the dungeon, “Hey, you planning on showing us anything of interest any time soon, Dimera?”
Tony suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned to face his three followers. “Here’s your place of interest, John,” Tony tapped on the iron to let them all know they had arrived at a door. “What the hell is it?” John snapped. “On the other side of this door is my father’s study,” Tony informed them.
Marlena was taken aback, “Why would Stefano have a study down here? Wouldn’t he have one in the mansion?” Tony told them that this was where Stefano did all of his important planning. “Then how in the hell do you know about it?” spat John.
“I have a memory of when I was a child living here. I was exploring this place as I always did. You know how young, adventurous children are. Anyway, I stumbled upon this room one night while Stefano was in there obviously planning something big. I thought nothing of offering him a quick hello, but he was outraged. I remember how he jumped up from his big leather chair and yelled at the top of his lungs for me to get out and to forget that I ever found the place. I was horrified.”
John was suspicious, “You said Stefano told you to forget the place. How did you remember how to get us here?” “Easy,” Tony began, “I, along with everyone else, was scared to death of my father. Especially that night. The last thing I ever wanted to do was stumble upon the place again. Believe me, I could find this place in the pitch dark because I memorized how to avoid it at all costs.”
They decide to go in when Tony stopped again. The huge iron door was stuck. Marlena commented, “This is the second iron door we’ve encountered in this dungeon. I want to know how they got them down here.” The openings to the dungeon they’ve seen are way too small for large fixtures to fit through, but with Stefano involved, anything was possible. It was an erie thought to fear the dungeon was built around those rooms with the iron doors.
Both of the men tried to move the door, but it would not budge. John shook his head, “There’s got to be another way in. Stefano always has two ways out of every situation.” The thought process had begun as Marlena faced Tony, “The floor plan. Where is the study in relation to the mansion?”
Tony scratched his head as if in deep thought, “I’m not sure.” John threw his hand down, “Oh, come on! Think damnit!” “His bedroom!” Tony yelled, “His bedroom had a trap door in it. But it was on the second floor. What was beneath his bedroom?”
Kristen finally spoke, “The dining room.” “Then we go up to ground level and walk around the dining room,” John demanded grabbing ahold of Marlena’s hand as he turned toward the way out.
The fearless foursome made their way back up to ground level. Marlena instantly noticed the time of day. The sun was high in the sky, just askew of mid day. “Time flies down there, doesn’t it?” Kristen added. Marlena just shivered at that thought.
“This spot is about where the dining room was,” Tony stated. “Then let’s start searching,” John dropped to his knees. Marlena wondered what they were searching for. John spoke gently with respect toward his wife, “If Stefano’s study was below this spot, then a door of some sort should be here. Think of it as his secret way in. Or out, depending on the circumstance.”
“Hey! I’ve found something!” John yelled after only a few minutes of digging with his fingers in the grass. He jumped up shouting orders for them to keep digging in his tracks while he retrieved something from his Jeep. He returned with some shovels and picks to aid them in their progress.
Tony looked up from where he dug, “Do you always carry shovels around with you?” “I do when I know I’m going on a search,” John remarked with sarcasm. “Here’s to thinking ahead,” John handed a shovel to Tony and the two men began digging.
It only took them a few pounds into the soft marshy Louisiana ground for them to hit something. “Spread out! If this is an iron door, then we’ve gotta find the edge,” John barked. He was right. They had found another entrance into the dungeon. A secret door that he assumed to have been hidden under the huge oriental area rug under the dining table where he and Marlena shared a bowl of soup on a dreaded night.
Within in minutes, the door was completely uncovered and with his superman-like qualities, John, with Tony’s help, had the door moved to the side just enough for the four of them to enter. On his feet again, he noticed his wife’s grim expression. “Don’t worry. He’s not coming back. I just really wanted into this room,” John whispered into her ear wishing her fears away of his mercenary side coming back.
“Hmmm,” John thought aloud while looking around the room. “The iron door was closed. Seems to me like it would be awfully tough to try and open it while in a haste to get out of the house. Looks like someone closed it on their way out.” Marlena finished his though, “So you think this room was last occupied by Stefano? How he escaped the night Celeste set fire to the mansion?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” John stated. “What about that door?” Tony pointed toward the door that they had first found in the passageway. John stated his theory with confidence, “Once he escaped through the dining room floor and safely in this study, he had plenty of time to close off the two remaining exits. After all, Stefano wouldn’t want to make it easy for us, now would he?”
While John and Tony went over the events of that night, Marlena’s attention was drawn to the many floor to ceiling bookshelves that encompassed the room. She reached for the one that stood out the most. It was simply titled “Brainwashing”. She thumbed through it and then quickly placed it back in its spot and noticed the book that curiously stood next to it.
It was a family tree book. Curiosity took over as she retrieved it from its home. Upon opening it, pages crackled and dust escaped as though it had not seen the light of day in years. As she flipped through the dusty pages, a piece of paper was disturbed from its resting place and floated to the floor. Cautious, she bent down to pick it up.
She was careful not to tear the folded paper, for it was obviously delicate from its age. From the appearance of the paper, it was a another torn page from Stefano’s journal. Her eyes grew wide in horror at what she saw as she read the scribble. “Oh my God!”
Page 64 of 76John quickly ran to Marlena’s side when he heard her gasp at what she had found. “Doc! Are you all right?” he asked with such love and concern. “I’m fine, but I found something that you should see,” she said as she handed him the torn journal page.
John read the words to himself…
Jan 14, 1978
He has just completed his first mission.
His first kill came easy for him.
I have great things in store for him.
Terrible things.
Ah… my son.
My greatest creation ever.
John uttered a dissatisfied groan, “This doesn’t necessarily mean anything.” “John,” Marlena took hold of his hand and pulled him to the side, “there’s every reason to believe it’s true.” It shocked him to hear such a thing. “It’s Dimera, Doc. That’s every reason not to believe it. You know how he loves toying with our minds.”
Tony noticed the two huddled in deep discussion in the corner of the small study. “Is there a problem?” John glared at Marlena for a brief moment as if pleading with her that it can’t be true before turning to Tony, “Oh just your dear old dad up to his usual tricks.”
Even Tony had trouble accepting what he read, “Surely this isn’t talking about you, John?” Marlena saw the pain written in her husband’s eyes at the awful thought of the note carrying any truth. She left him to absorb that notion while she answered Tony, “It’s a possibility. And it’s a very good lead to go on.”
Kristen had been watching and listening the three of them debate the idea taking in all that she could while letting her own interpretations be contemplated. She could clearly see the pain the note had jolted into John, yet she did not understand why Marlena of all people, would so readily accept it as truth.
“Marlena,” Kristen spoke cautiously, “why is this note proof enough to you? Is there something you know that we don’t?” Marlena knew nothing for sure, but she could not be that careless in the future. She drew too much attention to the fact that she believed the note simply because it was a good lead to follow. Could she convince the others of this? Or will they be suspicious of Marlena carrying a secret? Either way, Marlena’s secret must remain safe.
“It’s a good lead. It’s as simple as that. In fact it’s the best lead we’ve gotten since being in New Orleans. John,” she once again turned to her husband, “I say we call Abe. Let’s get this note analyzed.” Taking a deep breath, he sighed, knowing she was right. “Do you think we could use this information in a hypnosis session?”
Marlena nodded, “Definitely. It may be the break you’ve been looking for for years. We don’t know anything for sure yet. So let’s not worry until we have a reason to.” “I want to continue looking around. We’ve come this far. If this is a trick, I’m not going to let Dimera beat us,” John said before mouthing a thank you to his wife.
Tony offered, “Look, let’s split up. The four of us can search this room a hell of alot faster if we’re all looking for clues. It’s apparent to me that since this is where my father did most of his planning, we should be able to find more information about his secrets.”
He was right. So, they each took to a wall that was covered with a bookshelf and started looking through all of its contents. Kristen had been keeping a watchful eye on Marlena the whole time they had been at the plantation. John’s words to her earlier had her very curious.
Kristen made her way toward Marlena’s direction and finally confronted her, “If you need to talk about anything, I want you to know that I’m here.” Marlena’s brow could not have been any more furrowed with confusion as she watched Kristen walked away.
As Marlena turned back to the book she held in her hand, it dawned on her what Kristen was referring to. ‘John must have told her about the drinking. Damn! So, now I’ve got her watching me like a hawk, too.’ She glanced over toward John whose nose was buried deep in a book. ‘I’ve got to do something soon before this worrying kills him.’
“Where the hell did these come from?” Tony gasped as he turned around and stared at Stefano’s desk. Kristen rushed to her husband’s side while John watched them both like prey. On it, were three envelopes each with a name written on the outside. One was for Tony, another was for John, and finally, the third envelope was for Marlena.
“These weren’t here a minute ago,” John stated starring at Tony. “Well, I didn’t put them here!” Tony demanded. Somebody had. While the four of them were rummaging through the bookshelves, someone had gotten into that room and set out those three envelopes. John took note that the iron door leading out onto the plantation grounds was still open where they had entered the study. He wondered aloud if someone could have gotten in there while all of their backs were turned.
Marlena reminded looking at her watch, “Time flies when we’re down here. We’ve been digging through these old books for two hours now. I suppose someone could have gotten in here without us even noticing.” John added, “If they’re good. Dimera good.”
John insisted on opening Marlena’s envelope, but immediately handed it back to her to read. Tony and John began reading theirs as well.
Marlena’s note stated…
The child awaits you in Aremid.
Go there and you will find your answers.
Don’t let him forget.
Remember… the truth is in the child.
Marlena gasped, “This is almost the same message I received from that strange woman in Paris. She told me to not let him forget and that the truth was in the child.” John took her hand as they both read his note.
John’s note read…
Someone you know is not as they seem.
Do not be deceived, for this person holds a secret.
Aremid awaits you.
After he finished reading the note, he quickly diverted his attention to the two people standing across the desk from him. Tony asked, “What does yours say, John?” “Oh, you know damn well what it says, Dimera,” and he folded the note and stuffed it into his pocket without offering to share its contents.
Tony was more than obliged to let everyone hear what his note read. As he read aloud, Marlena gripped John’s hand even tighter.
Tony’s note read…
A brother awaits you.
A man in Aremid can help.
“A brother? Could this be true?” wondered Tony. “Could this note be referring to Andre? Do you think he’s really your twin brother?” Marlena offered her support. Tony smiled at her out of gratitude for her obvious offer of friendship, “This may sound strange, but I don’t think this is referring to my cousin.”
“John,” Marlena began softly, “I think you know what we have to do. I know you were hoping that it wouldn’t come to this.” John took a deep breath, “I was hoping that. But the clues speak for themselves. As much as I don’t want to… I guess we’re going to Aremid.”
Page 65 of 76Bad weather rolled into New Orleans about the time that they were hoping to leave causing their flight to be delayed. Their first stop would not be Aremid, but rather Salem. Belle’s graduation was in three days and her parents would not miss it for the world.
Instead of waiting out the weather, Marlena convinced John to let them stay the night and leave the next morning. They all needed the rest. It didn’t take much to convince John, as he already had a plan. He suggested they fly to Hawaii first thing in the morning for some real rest and recuperation. Of course, John wanted more time alone to get Marlena to open up to him before rushing home.
John and Marlena entered their suite at the hotel wet from the ensuing rain. Marlena headed straight to the bathroom while John called out from behind her, “I’ll order some food. Is there anything specific you would like?” She answered as she shed her wet clothes, “Popeyes would be great! Do you think they deliver?”
He chuckled to himself while watching her drop her clothes on the way to the bathroom. He was amazed how such a sophisticated psychiatrist could be such a slob at times. He didn’t mind. He thought it was cute and reminded him that she was human like the rest of the world. “Some things never change even away from home,” he said as he dialed the number to the local Popeyes Chicken restaurant that Marlena had grown to love. Luckily, money talks, and it was enough that one of the workers agreed to run it across the street to their hotel.
Once he placed the call, he decided to join his wife in the hot shower. “Got room in here for two,” he asked as he slid up from behind her. “Mm’mm,” she moaned. He wasted no time before diving into her neck spreading lavish kisses on her freshly bathed skin. But something was off. Although he could sense her body reacting to his touch, she made no notions to move forward with his desires. He played it off hoping she did not just reject him and was in fact merely hungry.
They had gotten out of the shower just in time to hear the delivery boy knocking on the door. John paid the guy a nice tip for being so kind to deliver it for them. He then turned to Marlena, “I got your favorite. Breaded spicy chicken strips and delicious red beans and rice. And sweet tea with lemon to wash it down.” “You sound like a menu,” she teased.
While she dined, Marlena commented, “It’s too bad we don’t have a Popeyes back in Salem. I’ve grown really accustomed to this place.” The light came on in John’s head. “What if I were to open one?”
“No way. I’m not loosing my husband to the restaurant business. You know how busy Tuscany keeps Maggie. I like my time with you,” his wife stated. John replied, “For your information, I had no intentions of being the one to run the place. I’ve been looking for something to invest in again, and this may be just the thing. In fact, I know just the man to handle the job.”
“Oh?” she asked. “Yeah, this guy was referred to me from another business associate. He’d make an excellent manager, if he wants the job, that is. I’ll even open it in your honor.” “John, that’s not necessary.” “Sure it is! You gave me the idea.” Marlena smiled, “Well, I don’t think you need to worry about business. I bet this place would be a hit in Salem. And you’ve already got one customer for life.”
John looked at her and smiled, “Don’t think so. My wife will not be charged for her meals. Especially since it will be opened in your honor.” “John, there’s no reason why I couldn’t pay for my own meals. That’s ridiculous,” she said with a mouth full of red beans and rice. “I better not find out they collected money from you,” he said sternly, but she just gave him a look as if she had no intentions of following his orders.
After they dined, the couple found themselves lounging on the couch. John hoped this was an opportunity to spend some quality time with his wife. Marlena poured them each a glass of wine, which John did not disapprove of, and plopped down opposite him. In the most natural of notions, she stretched out her legs across his lap which he happily accepted. He began massaging her feet as she sipped her wine.
They sat in silence for only a few minutes before Marlena quickly focused their attention to another matter at hand. Marlena was curious about the messages that would lead them to Aremid, “What did you think about the notes we found today?” John was disappointed she wanted to talk rather than enjoy their time together, but he obliged her with an answer, “I think my note is a message about Tony.”
“How so?” Marlena asked. “Someone is not as they seem? Come on, that’s a Dimera all over,” he stated. But Marlena did not feel the same way as her husband. She couldn’t explain it other than a gut feeling, but she did not believe that it was a warning about Tony and Kristen.
“Doc, just promise me you’ll be careful anyway,” John worried that the messages were a trap. But Marlena disagreed, “I don’t think so. I think someone is trying to help us.” A chill ran down his spine at the thought of someone watching their every move.
A few silent minutes past, and he stared into her hazel eyes for a sign, any sign of sorts that was inviting him closer. When he received none, he could not remain quiet any longer. “Can I ask you something?” “Of course,” she said. “Earlier… in the shower… you seemed distant. In fact, you have seemed distant for a while now.”
Marlena asked, “What are you implying, John?” John’s heart ached to be having this discussion, “I feel like every time I try to get close to you, you go the other way. What are you afraid of?” “I’m not afraid of anything,” she spat. He knew he had hit a nerve within her, and he wondered what could be the cause of such defensiveness. His voice was soft, “Is it the nightmares?”
“John, I really don’t want to talk about this.” He sensed he had guessed right. Or at least the nightmares were a part of the problem. He assumed the bigger cause was the uncertainty that they were facing with the search, but he wanted to be sure that it was wasn’t him causing her pain, “Was it something I’ve done?”
“Something you’ve done? Let me ask you something. Why did you tell Kristen?” John shook his head as if he did not understand. “You know what I’m talking about. Why did you tell Kristen about my situation?” She couldn’t even say the word drinking as it couldn’t be further from the truth. His eyes closed immediately upon hearing her words because she was changing the subject. He knew they were in for a long night.
“Answer me, damnit,” her voice turned stern, “why did you take it upon yourself to confide in Kristen?” John held his head low like a guilty child, “Because I didn’t want her bothering you with her petty problems. And I would hardly call that confiding.”
She was quick to remind him, “Don’t you think that would be my decision if I wanted to hear about her petty problems?” John snapped, “I know her, Doc. And I know Tony. You’re so eager to trust them. Well I’m not!” Marlena wasn’t trying to start an argument, but she wanted to make John understand that what he did was wrong, “You still should not have involved her.”
John took a deep breath, “For the record, she doesn’t know any details. I didn’t offer her any, and I didn’t give her a chance to ask. But you’re right… I’m sorry, Doc. I promised to trust you and I intend to do so.” Neither of them new that within the next twelve hours, that promise of trust would be questioned.
Page 66 of 76John loaded the last bag on the bellboy’s cart, “Here’s something for you. Thanks again.” The bellboy was very polite and professional in his tone, “Thank you, sir,” he then exited into the hallway on his way to their waiting limo downstairs.
John called out to Marlena who was still getting ready in the bathroom, “Doc, come on! The limo’s waiting!” The door flung open and Marlena raced to retrieve her lipstick and mirror from her purse, “I’m ready, I’m ready!” He touched her arm so that she would look up at him, “Sweetheart… you look beautiful.” When she gave him the look of wanting to continue anyway, he joked, “I know. It’s like chapstick. I remember.”
“Honey, there’s Kristen. I’m going to go wait with her while you check us out,” Marlena said as John made his way over to where Tony stood at the counter. Marlena noticed Kristen sitting at a nearby table looking somewhat sad. “Mornings not your thing?” she asked.
Kristen responded, “No, mornings are fine. I’m just worried about Tony. He is suddenly obsessed with finding this brother of his.” Marlena understood her pain, as she has felt it many times when John went digging into his past and left her at home. But for the first time, she has also understood what it is like to have that need to find some truth. “Don’t worry about him too much. We’re all in this together now. We’ll keep an eye on each other,” Marlena offered.
“Ready to go?” John asked as he helped Marlena from her seat. They were about to make it out of the hotel door when the counter clerk called out to Marlena. “Oh Dr. Evans! Wait!” A little unsure what was going on, Marlena walked toward the clerk who was running toward her.
“I’m glad I caught you before you left. Someone left this for you. I’m sorry for not getting it to you sooner,” the clerk was obviously embarrassed to have to run after a patron like that, but Marlena was not angered at the situation. “Thank you. Uh… ma’am… when was this left?” she asked. The clerk answered somewhat rambling, “We’re not really sure. It turned up late last night. The clerk who was on duty did not see anyone leave it. I’m sorry I do not have any more helpful information.”
Marlena thanked the clerk again and then stared at the cream colored envelope. It looked very expensive. On it, was written, Dr. Marlena Evans, in fancy handwriting. Marlena quickly opened the letter and read it to herself. It read…
He knows.
Samantha was a mistake.
It was supposed to be you.
And you know why.
Marlena gasped in horror as she read the note. Letting the note fall to the ground, her hands quickly covered her mouth in fear as if holding back a flood of tears or screams. John picked up the note and then rushed to his wife’s side. Tony and Kristen could barely make out from the limo what was going on inside, but it was apparent that something wasn’t right. While holding her hand, John read the note and quickly pulled his wife into a hug, “It’s all right, Doc. Nothing is going to hurt you. I promise you that.”
Marlena held on tight to him unsure whether to cry or scream from the emotions that were whirling throughout her body. A moment later, John felt that she had calmed enough to ask, “Do you know what this note means?” Marlena tried her best to play it off, “How could I? It just all came back to me when I read Samantha’s name that’s all.” An honest answer, but John still felt that something was amiss.
“Doc, this note totally freaked you out just now. I’ve never seen you so hysterical yet so reserved before,” he stated. “What are you implying, John?” her words were cold and seething. “I think you know more about this note than you’re letting on. I’ve suspected for a while now. You’re keeping something from me, Marlena, and I know it has nothing to do with alcohol. I intend to find out what it is.”
***
They arrived safely to their Hawaiian home with Tony and Kristen in tow. Those two had retired to the guest room leaving both Marlena and John alone. Marlena would not budge in her decision to refrain from opening up to John about the note. The time was not right. She felt that something big was about to happen, but fatigue from the flight had set in and she insisted on rest. They all needed rest.
It was still mid day when they arrived in Hawaii. John allowed his wife the time to relax while he took a walk alone on the beach. She did not object to his reasoning for she had some thinking of her own to do. John was suspicious of her, yet she felt confident he had no idea why. Still, it was imperative that she prepare herself.
John strolled along the sandy shores; his thoughts were his only company as he pondered Marlena’s odd behavior of late. Circumstance would show that her change in behavior was caused by a drinking problem, but something deep within him could no longer so easily accept that truth.
John stared out into the horizon that intertwined with the sea, “At first, I would have sworn that she had a drinking problem. But now… now I am not so sure. She’s hiding something from me. But what?” He was finding it harder and harder to keep the promise of trust that he gave to her.
Page 67 of 76John entered their bedroom and was instantly drawn to the warm breeze that was blowing through the open balcony doors. The warm salty air filled his senses. He then saw his wife’s figure sittng outside, her stray strands from her loosely pulled up hair blowing across her shoulders and neck from the same breeze that caressed his own skin. He was quickly transported back to a time when they shared a blanket on the beach under the stars.
He stood in their room for a moment and admired her sitting on the railing staring out at the ocean. She wore a blue button up shirt that from the size of it could only be John’s, and a pair of short white boxer shorts. Wearing his shirts had become such a natural thing for her, especially now that they were married. The sight of her in his shirt and high cut shorts made his senses race.
“Hey there, pretty lady,” he whispered as he approached her. She sat on the balcony railing with her legs dangling on the side opposite their bedroom, the grassy sandy ground only a few feet below. She did not budge when he spoke to her, but she could feel his breath on her neck and knew he was near.
“You’re cold,” John finally made his way to her, yet it was warm outside. “I’m fine,” she finally offered. “You’re cold. Let’s go inside,” he urged, but she would not move. “No, I like it out here.”
He was no fool. The past few weeks had been rough on them both, yet Marlena was having the most difficult time. She refrained from opening up fully to John even though she had promised she would. Tonight was no different. He could sense that she was struggling with some inner turmoil and wanted to help. But even more than that, he needed his wife.
Marlena finally gave in to his request and turned to face him. John reached his hand out to touch her face and she backed away from him. It was only a slight movement, almost nonexistant, but John noticed it as if she had jumped across the room. “Well… now that is something I am not used to,” his tone full of hurt and sadness.
Her eyes left his gaze in haste, but they, too, were filled with sadness. John spoke softly as he inched closer to her ear, “Baby, tell me what’s bothering you.” She spat, “What makes you think something is bothering me?”
He whispered, “Because I’m your husband. I know you better than anyone. Not to mention I’m your best friend… and lover. I know you inside and out.” Marlena looked over at him when he stopped talking and peered deep into his eyes.
He continued, “Remember the night on the pier? You promised me that you would not shut me out. Don’t break your promise, Doc.” He slowly lifted his hand as if to touch her face again. He was waiting for the okay from her before he would allow his skin to touch hers. Her eyes finally began to well up with tears as she slightly nodded.
As his hand came into contact with her cheek, her hands were there to enclose his to hold him there. She held onto him with all her might as her tears spilled over and she gasped, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pull away from you.” John smiled with relief, “Good, because for a minute there I was afraid I’d lost my touch.” “No,” she said breathlessly, “you could never lose that.”
There was still something bothering her. “Wanna talk about it?” She was tired, he could see that. But from what? The search hadn’t offered any physical stress, although the mental stress was undeniably draining, since the fact that they never knew what was to come could make anyone crazy. He still believed that she was keeping a secret from him.
“Not really,” she answered. John smiled, “Good. I’m feeling kinda selfish right now anyway. I don’t really want to talk, either.” Marlena had now fully turned around to where she was still sitting on the railing, with her hands in tiny fists in her lap, yet her body was now completely facing John. He watched as her blonde hair gently blew in the breeze. He could barely contain his body from bursting at the love of the woman whom sat before him. He stepped closer to her as he placed his hands on her thighs. After taking notice to their familiar situation, John remarked, “I’m beginning to like you on balconies.”
Marlena played the innocent, pretending to not be affected by his comment and their close proximities, but he knew better. He cupped her face with both hands and stood between her legs for a brief moment just looking into her eyes and peering deep into her soul.
“I love you,” he whispered. His tone was breathless and desperate. He was relieved she did not want to talk for now. All he wanted at that moment was his wife. It had been so long since they shared an intimate night together. In fact, it was Christmas Eve under the Christmas tree that he last remembered making love to her.
She sensed his need for her and as John continued, he confirmed that sense, “I don’t mean to sound like I’m pressuring you. It’s just that it’s been so long since… since I held you in my arms after making love to you.” Her eyes shly dropped their gaze from him. She was not shy toward him, but rather she felt badly because they have neglected their mutual physical need for one another.
“Hey…” he whispered as he tilted her chin up to him with his index finger, “I didn’t mean to upset you.” She smiled as she whispered her words through her tears, “I love you, too, you know. And I’m sorry. I know I seem to be saying that alot lately. I dunno… maybe its the stress of trying to find some truth in this search. Or maybe it’s just nerves.” John gently stroked the side of her face with his thumb. His heart beat faster and faster at the thought of being close to her again. Of taking in her scent again. Of tasting her again. Of being consumed by her again.
Neither felt the need to explain their feelings verbally. Rather, they only wanted to communicate on the most intimate of levels. Being close to each other would revitalize them, reminding them what it was like to be loved. After what seemed like an eternity of starring into each others eyes, John leaned forward and gently grazed his lips to hers.
They were warm and welcoming. The sweet sensation of her skin on his nearly drove him mad. It pleased him that she did not pull away. She needed him in this moment more than she first realized. To go without John’s love was to go without breathing.
John did not want to part from his wife just yet, but he was also not ready to speed things along. He wanted to take things slow, allowing himself time to worship his wife’s beautiful body. This was not a time for playful sex. What they each needed was to be loved. Marlena could not wait until John was rediscovering her body. So much time had passed since they were last together that it would almost be as if they were discovering each other for the first time.
John’s heart was on fire for her. His lips had only begun to taste her and he yearned for more. He captured her top lip and then her bottom, making sure to caress them individually with all the love and tenderness of his own. Repeating his actions, he could not get enough of her top lip that always seemed to graze his, taking the time to linger there for a moment, open mouthed, breathing in each other.
Marlena needed air. John was smothering her, yet she thrived on it. She did not want to break from their sweet kiss, but he had taken her breath away. While gasping for air, she looked deep into his eyes and uttered the barely audible words, “John… ma… make love to me.” Though John heard them loud and clear, he almost exploded with love at Marlena’s request.
His gut twisted with the excitement of taking this woman to bed. But it was so much more than just sex. They were about to reaffirm their love for one another in the most beautiful of ways. They both got off on the fact that they could do with each other what no one else could. Their bodies were off limits to all except each other.
John gently carried his wife to their bed and sat her down. He intentionally left the balcony doors open to allow the ocean breeze to fill the room. He did not instantly join her, hovering over her for a moment instead, eyeing her up and down with love filled eyes.
Never loosing their gaze, she sat up and reached for his belt as he quickly shed his shirt. He then turned his attention to her task at hand and helped remove his jeans. John gently notioned for Marlena to lie back and his hands began fumbling with the buttons on her shirt. He slid his hand under the layer of fabric to her chest sans bra which delighted him so.
Her lover stood on his knees on their bed before her and slid her shorts down the length of her slender legs. “I always did love the view from down here,” his eye twinkled. She sat up again to allow him the pleasure of sliding her blue shirt off her shoulders and tossed it aside. He filled his hand with her hair pulling it loose from its ponytail. He tugged on her hair just enough to cause her to tilt her neck and he quickly dove into her nape as they fell back onto the bed.
Their bodies came together in a sweet rhythm all their own. Marlena could feel the desperation within John to hold onto her as they made love. “I love you. Don’t ever forget that,” she pleaded. Her sweet, yet erotic moans in his ear made him fight explosion over and over again. John wanted to hang on, needed to feel her for as long as he could.
As their bodies lie joined, they were one. Marlena’s soft moans drove him wild with passion as he thrust deeper into her, and her nails dug deeper into her lover’s back. “You’re everything to me, Doc. Don’t ever leave me,” he beggd. When their time finally came, they reached new heights together, and they slowly returned from the Heavens together.
John moved from atop his wife and craddled her in his arms as they lay spooned together. “I love you,” was all he could think of to say at that moment while passion still ran through him. Marlena’s only reply was, “Mmmm… water has a way… of bringing us together, doesn’t it?”
He was finally able to put together a more coherent thought, “I won’t forget that.” She agreed, “And I won’t ever leave you. That I promise you.”
“This place in Heavenly,” he changed the subject, “That is what it feels like to make love to you.” He kissed her sweetly on her cheek. “Just being with you is Heaven to me,” she whispered.
Page 68 of 76Marlena and Kristen sat outside on the patio finishing off a platter of fresh fruit. The warm ocean breeze added a comfortable atmosphere. “You’re still worried,” Marlena commented. Kristen could not keep her eyes from glancing over at Tony who was sitting with John at the bar inside.
They were going over the letters they had received and also studying the journal entries that John found. “You know he is not going to give up. Not when we’ve all gotten closer than ever before,” Marlena’s voice was calm and soothing although Kristen was feeling anything but soothed.
Kristen wondered, “There was a time when you disagreed with John’s search. What has happened to change your mind?” The blonde woman took a deep breath, “The short answer… because I feel that this search has to do with me as well as him.”
“And the other answer?” Marlena smiled, “I love my husband. And I’ve finally come to terms with his need for this search. I respect, out of my love for him, his need to find out who he was, where he came from, so that he can give that to our children. And he has reassured me of his love for our present and future.”
“I’m not so sure of our future,” Kristen worried, “I am feeling first hand what you were so worried about with John.” Marlena wondered about her reasoning, “Are you afraid of what he will find in his past?” “No, I’m afraid of what his future actions will be when that past is discovered.”
The two men joined their wives just as Kristen finished her thought, unaware of their conversation. John kissed his wife on the top of her head, “And what would my beautiful wife like to do for the few hours before our flight?”
Tony glanced at Kristen, “Looks like we’d better give these two some privacy.” John helped Marlena to her feet, “Nonsense. Stay here, enjoy yourselves. We can take this somewhere else,” he looked down at his wife, “Will you join me for a walk along the beach?” Her smile grew wicked, “I’d walk anywhere with you, babe.”
John held his wife’s hand tightly in his. His senses seemed to be on overload as if he knew their immediate future would be shaky. There was a moment when he felt her slip through his hands. Then he realized she was only circling around in front of him.
There she stood, her blonde hair blowing in the ocean breeze, her hazel eyes glimmering in the sunlight, her warm skin gently grazing his, and yet an unknown force tried to convince him that she was out of reach. “So what would you like to do to me now that you’ve got me alone on our beach?”
John joked, “Well, I’d offer you the drink, but I’d much rather give you the real thing.” Marlena’s eyebrow cocked, “I hope you’re talking about Sex on the Beach.” He leaned in and captured her mouth, “It’s a really great… drink.”
She allowed him access to his journey for a brief moment and then suddenly, he noticed she seemed distant again. Her inner voice struggling with the idea of telling him the truth. Questions filled her head. Would he understand? Would he accept what she has to tell him? Would he still love her?
She threw her arm around him clinging to his neck, “Hey big guy,” she kissed his lips, “I asked you what you were gonna do to me out here.” He looked down at her, his smile filled with fear, “Just love you.”
Lightening the mood, John continued, “Besides, I had to get away from those two. I just wanted to be alone with you for a while. We’ll be stuck with them for a few hours on the plane anyway.” Her expression became that of a serious one. He lifted her chin, “Though that is not the only reason. I wouldn’t mind exploring other avenues while I’ve got you alone.”
Their lips came together once again, only this time, their tongues were more erratic and desperate. Clashing together in an unorganized way. Their hands feverishly grasping for hair, skin, clothes, anything within grip. There was something in their actions that told their hearts what their bodies wanted to partake in. Both eagerly anticipating it.
There was a cluster of palm trees where John and Marlena were standing and a convenient grassy spot under the trees. John gently helped her to the ground as he began unbuttoning his khaki shorts. Their lips never parted as they reached the soft ground below.
Marlena unbuttoned his white linen shirt allowing her hands access to his chest and she quickly filled them with a hand full of hair. John in the meantime was mentally thanking her for wearing a loose fitting sundress and gathered a handful of it and pushed it up around her hips. In their desperate desire for one another, he frantically ripped her lace panties, the fine shredded fabric falling away as he thrust into her.
He moved swiftly and demandingly. Her body was reacting to his erotic actions which pleased him so. He knew rough was not her favorite way to make love, but making love on a beach with the ocean at their backs is not an everyday occurance. Neither is the feeling of despair in losing something. John felt he was losing her and could not understand why.
He thrust into her harder and harder as if he could split her in two. But she was right there with him, thrusting back just as hard, enjoying their morning delight on the beach. Her nails dug into his back when he pushed further into her. He was about to explode. So was she.
He admired how sexy she looked to him when he peered down at his wife. Her hair was desheveled and a light glaze of prespiration was beginning to cover her delicate skin. She was pure woman to him, especially at times such as these. She was all he would ever need and to lose her would be to die.
The previous night when they came together was filled with pure passion and love, while this time was much more erotic and desperate. No words were exchanged between them this time. The need for each other was always instinctive, yet the fear to hold on to each other seemed only present in trying times. Those trying times were not always so evident and had a habit of appearing from an unexpected direction.
John and Marlena reached their destination quickly and without effort. Loving each other always came easy and natural for them. John was spent and laid his head upon the nape of her neck as she ran her fingers through his dark mane.
Still breathing heavy, she gasped, “That was some drink.” He recognized her lighthearted tone and although he appreciated it, he took on a more serious one. “I love you, Marlena. Promise me you will always be mine,” the desperation dripped from his plea.
She could feel his fear growing. It scared her to think that he was having some sort of intuition of what was to come. Telling him her secret should not tear them apart, and yet now she too was scared. “I promised you that on our wedding day. I don’t intend on breaking that promise,” she peered deep into his blue eyes and looked for the permission to continue. “Every time we make love, that promise is renewed. A part of my love for you is renewed. It can never diminish.”
She meant that, too. But she may have said those words aloud to him, but in her heart, she was thinking, ‘Once more before I tell him. Hopefully this lovemaking was enough to remind us why we’re so strong together.’
Moments later, John stood leaning against a tree while Marlena composed herself again. Although it appeared on the outside that she was merely straightening her dress and primping her hair, she was actually internally preparing herself for her greatest task. She knew the time had come. Prehaps the bond they had just renewed reminded her of the strength that together they possessed.
She walked up to him with an ease so obvious, her internal struggle went unnoticed. But John was not just any man standing there. He was the one man who knew her inside and out. He could sense something was off. He looked at her with caution afraid of what was to come.
Her eyes told the story of her love for him. He did not doubt that. He believed with his whole heart that the love for him he saw in her eyes was true. Yet there was an element present that he could not identify, and it inflicted the greatest fear he had ever felt.
John felt that fear become a reality when he heard her speak, “John… I’m ready to tell you my secret.”
Page 69 of 76
Their walk back was silent. John followed Marlena back inside and she closed the door to their bedroom to give them some privacy. John was floored, but it was something he had tried to prepare himself for. “I’ve been waiting for this moment.” She was stunned at his comment. “You have?” “Of course. I know you better than anyone,” he answered.
“Can this wait until we board?” he asked. “No. I’m gonna need more than a flight to Salem to tell you this. And I won’t have time once we get home because I’ll be busy helping Belle. But I need to tell you so that you have a better understanding of what is about to happen.”
John forced a strong posture, “Doc, what is about to happen? You’re trying to tell me…?” She took her first deep breath of many, “To sort of warn you of what is to come.” John was puzzled. He had no idea what he was about to hear. “This sounds serious. What is it?” “It’s very serious, John. It’s about my past.”
She could feel his questioning eyes on her as she walked over to her purse and pulled out a black bifold. He had an unexplainable feeling that his life was about to change. She swallowed hard, preparing herself for what she had to do. ‘I have to tell him. It’s time he knows,’ she thought as her eyes locked on his.
“There is no easy way to tell you this. I suppose I should start at the very beginning.” She sighs as she flips open the bifold to reveal an identification card, “I’d like to introduce myself… I’m Dr. Marlena Evans… Black… ISA.” His brow furrowed instantly and he looked down at the identification she was holding.
“What?” was all he could say. “I’m an ISA agent, John.” He did not believe her, “Yeah right. And I’m Stefano’s son. Doc, April Fool’s Day was a while ago.” She could see his disbelief and almost felt sorry for him. Pitied him. “It’s true, John. No joke.”
He took the ID from her and began looking over it very carefully hoping to find some evidence that it is a fake. “You can inspect that thing all you want, John, but you’ll just wind up being disappointed. It’s real.” John felt a pang in his gut that was leading him to believe she was telling the truth, but he needed proof. He handed the ID back to her, “Prove it.”
“Ask me anything you want. I’ll answer you,” her demeanor all too calm. “How long have you been in the ISA?” “I’ve been an agent for almost as long as I can remember, John,” she answered. But he demanded more, “How long?” “Since I was eighteen years old,” she stated straightening her stance. They both suddenly realized that they were in for a long night.
“My mission is confidential. Hardly anyone knows. In fact, as far as the lower levels of the ISA are concerned, I do not even exist. Well, at least not in the sense of being an agent. No, my true identity only exists on the highest levels of security within the ISA.” She spoke with a level of confidence he had never seen before.
She knew she had to spell it out to him, “I’m Special Agent Evans. ISA. Undercover.” He was still very much in shock, but he was slowly beginning to digest the information, “You really are serious, aren’t you?”
“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. Well… except for my love for you. That is real. However, I don’t mean to be blunt here, but I would understand it if you wanted to have our marriage annulled. Afterall, we were married on somewhat false pretenses. But I have to tell you, I would put up a fight,” she smiled.
He shook his head in disbelief, “Why would I want our marriage annulled?” “Because when you married me, you did not know that I was an undercover ISA agent.” “Do you love me?” Her voice was raspy, “More than anything else in this world. That’s not a lie. It’s not like it’s one of many facets of my career as an agent. I’ve loved you from the moment not long after I first met you. My love for you is very real. Just as my life is very real.” “Then there’s no way I’d have us annulled,” he smiled, but he was still unsure of what was to come of them.
“You’re a spy,” he scratched his head. It was more of a statement to help him process the information than anything else. Things were beginning to be made clear for John, but she knew she still had much explaining to do, “In answer to your silent question… yes, I really am a doctor. And yes, my patients are real. My life is real. To succeed in my mission I had to lead a normal life. To build a life for myself and live it. Only I would also be working to accomplish a goal.”
“Mission? What’s your mission?” was the only obvious question he could muster.
“Actually, my mission has two parts. The first part, and this is the most significant, is to see to it that Stefano Dimera dies at the hands of an innocent. Meaning, Stefano has to be murdered and the person who does so has to be innocent of any and all charges.” John chimed in, “So the person will have to kill Stefano in self defense.” “Exactly” she stated.
John could not believe his ears. His wife not only was an undercover agent, but one who has been hot on the trail of all people… Stefano. “You said two parts. What’s the second part?” She had little time to prepare herself for this moment of truth, “The second part of my mission, and the most important part, is to protect you.”
“Protect me? What do you mean?” The words didn’t sound right coming from her.
“I was sent to Salem in ’75 to make a life for myself and wait for Stefano. The ISA knew of his plans to destroy the Brady family. They also knew that he would use you to do it. They were going to get you out, and I was supposed to protect you. So I came here and started a wonderful fulfilling career and made lots of friends. Eventually, started a family as you know. And waited.”
“While I was here waiting for either Stefano’s or your arrival, the ISA had secret agents infiltrate Stefano’s organization. They were trying to get to you before Stefano unleashed you on Salem. Because we all knew what you were capable of. Long story short, because I do not have the details, somehow they got you out. And you wound up here anyway, thanks to Victor Kiriakis and ultimately Patch Johnson. Except that luckily, you came here with no memory.”
John yelled, “What the hell do you mean ‘luckily’! We’re lucky that I have no fucking memory?” “Yes, actually we are. If you had had your memory in tact, you would have done what you were trained to do. Kill. Stefano stripped you of your memory and gave you Roman’s.”
“This is where it might get a little confusing.” He shot a sarcastic look at her, “A little?” “Bare with me here. I have to start from another angle. When you came into my life, you were an amnesiac. You came to University Hospital with no identity. When I first met you, I had no idea that you were the man whom I was to protect.”
She noticed him looking at her with a confused look. “The ISA didn’t send me pictures of you. They were supposed to hand deliver you to me. Obviously that didn’t happen,” she stated.
She continued with her story, “Anyway, somehow you got away from ISA’s control and wound up with Victor. In fact, and this must be said, I started having loving feelings for you long before we ever went to West Virginia.”
“By the time I realized that you were The Pawn, I was already in love with you. And soon thereafter, I began seeing evidence that Stefano sent you here to impersonate Roman Brady. The evidence was good enough, so I convinced everyone that you were my dead husband, Roman Brady. What better way to protect you! I could live as your wife and have such an easier time watching over you with you as my husband.”
John could see that she was gleaming at this news. He smiled, “So you knew I wasn’t Roman.” “I’ve known it all along. But that didn’t matter to me. I loved you. Don’t you remember what I told you Christmas Eve night? I loved you for you. So what if it helped that everyone else thought you were Roman.” “But why is that such a good thing? I mean, you kept the truth from me. And those ISA bastards stole my memory!”
“Like I said, this is where it gets confusing. I couldn’t take the chance of blowing my cover. Everyone, including Stefano, knew that Marlena Evans Brady was in love with Roman. They knew he was my whole life at one time. I relied on that to help keep my cover. I also knew that if I could protect you from Stefano we’d all be safe.”
“Stefano still wanted you. He was pissed as hell that the ISA had gotten to you, and he vowed to steal you from me and reprogram you to kill. But I stopped him.” “How did you do that?” “Remember those five years you thought I was dead?”
“No,” he couldn’t believe it, “please tell me that you did not trade yourself for me.”
Page 70 of 76″I knew I could get out…,” she began. “Doc! No! He could have killed you!” “Not a chance. I knew where the file on your past was. And he didn’t want it falling into the hands of the ISA, or worse… you. See, I had a contact, and he had the file.”
“Doc! You had the file on my past? What happened to it?” “Let me continue. My original intent was to come home to you much sooner, but something went wrong and my contact could not get me out on schedule. So, Stefano kept me at St. Christopher in a coma.” John interrupted, “That really happened.” “Unfortunately, yes. There really are missing years from my memory.”
“But in time, I was able to get out. With a little help from our good friend Victor Kiriakis.” John’s mouth fell to the floor, “No shit.” “Yup. Victor was after Stefano for his own personal reasons and he and I met prior to either of us coming to Salem.” “I thought Victor’s hands were dirty back then. Why would you trust him?”
“They were. Back before either of us came to Salem, Victor’s parents were killed at the hands of Stefano. Victor sought revenge, but Stefano was a step ahead of him. He infiltrated Victor’s drug ring in order to kill him. I saved his life in a drug deal gone bad. Something that happened along the way of accomplishing a small ISA assignment. He promised me that he would one day return the favor. Little did I know we would one day wind up living in the same town, much less with you in his custody,” she laughed.
John tried to sort out what she had told him, “So, let me get this straight. Victor was going to rescue you from St. Christopher in a payment of debt?” “Yes, and no. The original plan was for him to rescue me from Orpheus before Stefano ever took me to St. Christopher. But yes, that is from where he ultimately saved me. And I should add, that he was the contact that I trusted with your file. I knew he was no threat to you.”
“No threat to me? Doc, he was after me to remember some stupid poster from Stockholm! He wanted to kill me when he thought I was Roman and had his memory of where those bonds were,” he reminded. “That was all part of the set up. When I felt the threat from Stefano getting more intense, I called in my favor. I had Victor make it look like he was against you so that he could get inside information from Stefano’s men. It was the perfect cover up since everyone knew he had a hand in you getting to Salem in the first place. Be thankful he had everyone fooled. He was convincing enough that one of Stefano’s men told him where I was being held.”
“You did all of that?” “I had to protect you. And I had to protect the file on you. Stefano would never kill me because only I knew where that file was.” Victor’s role in their lives was beginning to sink in for John, “I always felt that ole Vic was on our side. He sure had a hand in our affair.” “Yeah. He knew how much I loved you.”
“Does that mean…” “No. Victor is not ISA, nor did I ever tell him I was. Although… I’m not convinced that he doesn’t have some idea of who I really am, but we have never discussed it. In fact, it’s all coincidental that he wound up with you. He didn’t know you were important to me, that you were who I was sent to protect. He only knew you as The Pawn and thought he could get information out of you about Stefano to get his revenge, but when he got ahold of the evidence of you being Roman, he let you go. It was understood between us that Marlena Evans didn’t deal with the likes of Victor Kiriakis. Like I said, he had no idea that you were who I was after.”
“So, how many other people know about you?” “Other than you, only Shane, but like I said. I have my suspicions of Victor. And I wouldn’t be surprised if Stefano has actually known all along.” He skipped right over her last statement, “And where is the file on me now?” “I’m sorry to say that was destroyed,” she put her hand on his shoulder to comfort him. “Did you ever get to read it?” “No. I’m sorry. It was protected by code and I never had it in my possession long enough to break it. And to my knowledge neither did Victor.”
“Damn!” So many times in the past, John’s chance at discovering some truth about the memories he longer possess comes crumbling down. Marlena noticed the grim expression and voiced her concern. John replied with a hopeful voice, “Wait a minute! Doc… if you were sent to protect me, then you must know something about my past!”
Marlena’s expression in turn also grew grim, “No, I’m sorry. I have been in the dark just as you are.” “But the ISA, they must have told you something about me,” he begged. “Only that you were a trained killer. John, if the ISA knows anything… they’ve never told me.”
Her heart was breaking for what he was going through. He has just been handed the truth that his wife and best friend for many years was an undercover agent working for the ISA and on top of that, the cold reality of him never discovering his own identity continued to slap him in the face. Only this time, by the hand of someone he dearly loves. Marlena feared that she has let him down and that this just might drive him away. She knew she had to do something. Her marriage depended on it.
“John… there might be a way I can help you,” she spoke in an unsure tone, “There are small details. Bits and pieces of your past that I do know. It’s not something that I can just sum up into words on the spot. More like, when we are in a situation and you have a question about a specific event. I might can help you then. When we’re in the moment.”
John’s face fell into his hands in disappointment. There had to be something that she could tell him to lift his spirits. “Wait! I do know something that might help you a little. Kind of hold you over until I can tell you more. I can say, with absolute positivity, that you were a priest.” “What?” he raised his head up.
“Yes. I know that you have had some doubts about that from the whole Gina experience, but it’s true. That journal entry we found in the Maison Blanche underground was real.” He sat down on the corner of their bed, “Do you have any details?” “I do. Stefano took control of you at an early age… right after Forest had supposedly drowned. He sent you to the best schools in Europe and decided to use you as his Pawn and train and brainwash you into what he wanted. One of the first jobs he had for you was theft. He had the perfect plan to have you impersonate a priest while all along you were stealing art with Gina. He sent you to seminary school. It would be like having the real thing, except you were never supposed to take your vows. But you did. Dr. Rolf, Stefano’s most trusted scientist, knew he would be pissed, and he was. But Stefano had him remove that part of your memory. But he knew it was the perfect disguise. Well… He must have felt that it would be easier to remove the priest in you, rather than give a man priest-like qualities. That’s why you were sent to seminary school.”
John was trying to make sense of it, “What does that mean?” “It means, he took away the part of your memory that made you know you were a priest. So you still had the actions, the qualities, the behavior down pat. But no memory of ever being ordained.” John stood and walked toward their dresser swinging his arm and flinging a vase into the wall and shattering, “That sick son of a bitch!”
He took a deep breath, “How… how do you know this?” “Right after our ordeal at Maison Blanche in ninety-four, you came to my office and told me that Celeste said you were married. I couldn’t believe it. I was floored. We had shared a life together. We shared a bed, both while married and not. There was no way you were married to someone else while we shared so many romantic nights together. So, I did research on my own. Classified ISA research. I soon discovered that you were indeed married, although not in the sense that we originally thought. You were married to God. I felt you needed that information, but I couldn’t be the one to give it to you. So… I planted it for you to find.”
John couldn’t believe his ears, “You planted that information?” “Did it ever cross your mind how it could be that you and Kristen met priests who knew Father Black from seminary school when you chose that name?” She definitely had his attention then, “Sure. But I couldn’t explain it. Thank God I didn’t try to. Me being a priest saved your soul.”
“And I am forever grateful that you went through with living as a priest when you did. I wouldn’t be here now if you had not accepted it. It’s proof that you and I are destined to be together. But… and this may be a little shocking, but… you were actually ordained as Father Black. Seems the name Black stood out because it really was your name. Stefano gave you that name. He wanted you to have an ordinary name since you were to be his pawn. In an essence, you had no identity except for what he gave you.”
“As far as I know, you were a trained killer at the base. On top of that, he taught you medical, survival, technology, and law skills among others. Then you became whoever he wanted you to. An art theft disguised as a priest was one of your identities.” John asks, “Why do you think he made me Roman?” “I don’t know. To punish two birds with one stone I suppose.”
She hesitated, but obliged him with the best answer she could offer, “I’m just guessing here, but maybe you and Gina had betrayed Stefano in some way, perhaps with your secret relationship, and Stefano chose to rip your identity away again and give you Roman’s as punishment.”
There were still many unanswered questions. “So what about when I saw Johnny Black 1984 carved on the dungeon wall at Maison Blanche?” “I assume that was the brainwashing session that transformed you into Roman,” she coldly stated. But there was one question left to be answered. A question that always existed in John’s mind, but was now more important than ever because of what Marlena has revealed to him.
“Doc… do you suppose there is an actual reason why Stefano chose to use me as his pawn, or do you think it was just coincidence of me being a good student?” “I don’t know. What do you think?” “I think there’s more to it than that. That old man never does anything without a reason. There has got to be a reason why he chose me. Stefano had me programmed so that at a push of a button, I became who he wanted me to be. Me being Roman was just a sick and twisted joke that hurt so many people. And like you said, it could have been a punishment for me, too. I mean, what he did. He stripped away any identity I had made for myself growing up. It’s almost as if he did it as some kind of revenge. How else can you explain him wanting to destroy me and my family all these years? I must have hurt him or disappointed him in some way and he’s pissed as hell about it.”
They were both silent for a few minutes while John thought about Marlena’s revelation. Running his fingers through his hair and tosseling it, he finally had an idea. “Wait. I can’t believe I didn’t jump on this sooner. Doc, you said a few minutes ago that Stefano might know about you. That you’re ISA.”
She nodded as he continued, “What if part of the reason he gave me Roman’s memories was to get revenge on you as well? I mean, there had to be some reason why he chose me in the first place. But you. You were after him. And you were to protect me from him. What if he found out somehow? He’d be pissed, right?”
John added, “If he wanted me bad enough, he would have come after me. He’s been chasing you all these years. It’s a game to him. He’s got us right where he wants us. And it’s time we find out why. We’re going to Aremid as soon as Belle walks across that stage.”
Page 71 of 76John and Marlena sat on the plane’s couch together across from Tony and Kristen. Marlena’s stomach was in knots from what she had just revealed to her husband only hours before boarding the plane to Salem. There was still more to tell.
She stood, “Will you please excuse us? John, may I talk to you?” He took her outstretched hand and glanced at Tony, “We’ll be in the stateroom if you need us. Make yourselves at home. You’re welcome to anything in the bar or fridge and there’s another bed in that small room over there.”
Tony looked to where John was pointing, “Thank you. I do believe some rest would do us all some good.” John wondered if rest was what Marlena had in mind. Tony and Kristen were still oblivious to Marlena’s true identity.
“Doc, we do have guests you know,” he teased. “I didn’t bring you back here to get you into bed, although Tony’s right. We all need our physical rest as well as our mental rest for what we’re about to battle.” She sat down on the edge of their bed and grew suddenly quiet.
“What is it, Doc?” She almost chuckled, “Hard to believe you even care after what I just told you.” John knelt in front of her and placed his hand on her knee, “Of course I care. You’re my wife. Nothing has changed that.”
She stared deep into his eyes perhaps in hope that she would find something within him that comforted her. She sighed, “There’s more. And I’ll be surprised if what I’m about to tell you doesn’t piss you off more so than finding out I’m a spy.” “You’re scaring me, baby. You know whatever it is we will handle it together.” he pleaded. She wasn’t so sure, but she had no other choice. She couldn’t keep this secret any longer.
“First, before I tell you what I brought you back here to say, I want you to know something else. You asked me earlier if I thought Stefano knows about me.” She stood up again hesitating to think it was true. “The message that I received on our way out of the New Orleans hotel…”
John flashed back to reading the words in the note that got her so upset, ‘He knows. Samantha was a mistake. It was supposed to be you. And you know why.’ John’s eyes grew wide as she continued. “I think he may know.” John grabbed her into his arms and pressed her hard against his chest. He breathed in the sweet scent of her hair, and said a silent prayer for them.
He sighed, “After you told me you were an agent, I was afraid to think that’s what the note meant.” She finally raised her head and patted him on the chest and smiled, “I’m fine,” and then pushed out of his arms. He watched as Marlena made her way to a window and looked out into the night. Her smile did not convince him.
Her sudden change had him worried all over again. He knew there was more. She admitted to bringing him back to their room for a reason. She had something else to reveal to him and it was just a matter of time before she did. And when she finally spoke, John felt as if she had stomped all over his heart.
After finding whatever it was she was looking at in the dark sky, she sighed and turned to face him, “John… I can tell you with absolute one hundred percent honesty… I do not have a drinking problem.” At first, he did not know what to make of her words. They seemed to come out of no where. Then it hit him, “You mean… that night I found you. You set me up?”
She feared for the worst, but was not scared of what he would do to her. In some ways, she almost felt that whatever he dealt, she deserved. She had led him to believe something awful. Then it was John’s turn. He broke their gaze by closing his eyes and then he turned from his place in front of her and made his way to the window. He stared out into the black night not seeing anything past the wing, but nonetheless looking as far as he could into the sky.
He had every right to be angry. She lied to him. She led him to believe she had a drinking problem, and what for? Those were answers he would soon demand. She was shocked when he turned and looked at her with no expression of anger on his face. Only love and confusion.
“You’re not angry?” she asked. “I have every right to be,” he began coldly. “How could you do it? How could you stoop so low?” “You are angry,” she sighed and lowered her head. “Why shouldn’t I be? Damnit, Marlena! How could you use something of such importance?”
“I admit that this was not one of my more brilliant of ideas,” she began, “but you’ve got to understand. I needed to buy myself some time.” “Time for what,” he yelled. Marlena knew that fighting would not get them anywhere. “I was running out of time. I needed to gather some information. Get some research done and I couldn’t do that under normal circumstances.”
John butted in, “So what? You needed me to believe that you were estranged from your family instead?” There was not much she could argue since she admitted to this being her idea, but she wasn’t about to just stand there and let him belittle her. “I was protecting our family!” she spat back.
He shook his head. “I can’t believe this. The Marlena I know would never purposely allow her husband or her family believe she was slipping away. There could have been another way.”
She nodded, “I said this wasn’t one of my better ideas.” His head shot up at her, “You’ve been lying to me for years. Every time you worked late, every conference… how am I to know you were really doing what you said you were doing?”
She clasped his hand within her own, “John… I’ve never lied to you before. But I did this for a reason. You have to believe that. I haven’t lived my life like that. I promised myself a long time ago that I would not. If I said I was working late, then that is what I was doing. If I said I was going out of town for a conference, then that is where I was.”
He peered deep into her eyes as she continued, “My career as a psychiatrist is legit. If I were doing ISA business, you never knew it, but you never thought anything else. I just never said anything. I filled it into my regular schedule. I never lied about something else to do it.”
But John did not see it her way. He only saw that she lied to him like she had accused him of doing when he kept his secret about Hope. Of course, now he knew how she must have felt. “You may not have lied to me in the past, but you lied about this, Marlena! You better thank your lucky stars that our children never knew about your little drinking charade, or you would really see me pissed!”
In one swift motion, he jerked his hand from her hold, “As if hearing my wife has been an undercover agent for all the years I’ve known her isn’t bad enough, you go and drop this little bomb in my lap.” He threw up his arms. “I can’t deal with this right now. I’ll be in the cockpit,” he spat and stormed out leaving her to question had she done the right thing.
Moments passed before she accepted that he would not return for the duration of the flight. And she wondered if he would even speak to her on their drive home. Marlena kicked off her shoes and laid in her big empty bed and thought aloud, “Oh John… can we ever get past this?”
It was the day after Salem High’s graduation and Belle was out with Shawn and her friends doing their usual teenage stuff leaving John and Marlena alone in the Penthouse. They spent a good part of the day at home together without much conversation. In fact, they had not done much talking since her revelation on the plane ride home two days ago.
Tony and Kristen rented the available guest suite on the same floor as Marlena’s penthouse and had insisted on staying in most of the time while they were in Salem. It was agreed that the more time passed before Stefano found out they were both alive, the better.
The leasor has a suite available to Penthouse residents when they have guests who want their own acomodations. It was a nice immenity that John and Marlena rarely ever use, but wanted to make sure that Tony and Kristen had their privacy if wanted. Plus, it helped hold down on any uninvited guests who may pop in to the penthouse not expecting to stumble in and find two people who were supposedly dead.
Avoiding at all costs passing each other in the hall way hoping to miss any close quarter contact, they stayed in separate rooms as much as possible. Marlena stayed busy helping Belle with last minute arrangements, so that kept her away from John most of the first day. However, that night together in bed was not as warm and cozy as usual.
But the proud parents in both of them came out full force at Belle’s graduation as John and Marlena could not hide their love and excitement for their daughter on that big day. The circumstances of that day helped to ease some of the tension, but after the ceremony and all of the family gatherings, it was back to their cooler than normal home with just the two of them until late when Belle arrived home from her own parties.
The day after their daughter’s graduation still showed no sign of improvement. After relaxing on the couch with a book while John watched the ball game with less excitement than usual, she got up and went upstairs.
A while later, John was sitting at the mail table punching away on his laptop computer and did not hear his wife descend the stairs behind him. She felt him jump at the feel of her placing her hands on his shoulders.
He turned and was stunned by the beauty before him. She was dressed in khaki cargo pants, a white tshirt, and a coral colored zip up hooded fleece. She wore it unzipped like a jacket and her hair was tousled yet somewhat fixed, but the ends did a little flip up thing that drove John wild. But the kicker was that she wore her small, very stylishly modern gold frame glasses.
John thought he could use that moment as a chance to maybe break some more tension. “You look unbelievably sexy,” he commented as his eyebrow arched high on his forehead. She looked down to remind herself of what she had thrown on. To be sure she had not forgotten an important piece of clothing. She wrinkled up her nose, “In this?”
“Of course in that!” He jumped up from his chair to put his hands on either side of her hips, “You know I have always loved it when you dressed casually. No woman can make casual clothes look as sexy as a strapless evening gown as you can, Doc.”
“I’m just so lucky you dress like this around me.” He did not notice her unease as he dove into her neck, “And you know how I feel about you in your glasses.” But when she did not respond to his advances like usual, his brow furrowed, “What’s wrong?”
She smiled, “I’m sorry. Your exploration of my neck is very inviting, but I can’t stay. I’ve got to get to work.” Immediately, John’s demeanor turned sour, “Oh?” He listened to her plans for the day, but wasn’t buying her claim to be going to the office to catch up on paperwork. That was not something that she usually did on a Saturday afternoon.
His hands still holding her hips, he stepped back a little to look deep into her eyes, “Don’t lie to me, Doc. You’re going to do ISA research.”
Since there was no way she could lie to him now, she asked, “How did you know that?” “Because… I know you,” his comment made her shiver at the thought of him catching her in a lie. “Well then… yes, that is where I’m going. I’ve got a meeting with a contact of mine,” she answered emotionless.
He removed his hands from her hips and folded them across his chest, “Not dressed like that you aren’t. You saw the reaction you got from me when you came down those stairs,” he stated. “You’re my husband. You’re supposed to be attracted to my more casual side. Strangers are not,” she pleaded, but he just glared at her.
“I will do anything to protect my family. Protect you,” she stated. “That’s what I’m afraid of,” he began. “Remember Maison Blanche?
She sighed, “When I tried to seduce Stefano to save you. It’s not that kind of meeting, John.”
She moved her hand to rest on her hip, “You don’t trust me.” “I don’t trust other men when you look as good as you do.”
A smirk formed in the corner of her mouth, “How do you know it’s even a man I’m going to see?” She did not get a response from him which didn’t disappoint her. “Besides, if I were going to seduce a man, don’t you think I’d wear something more provocative than this?”
“Maybe that’s your plan. To throw me off. You could have a low cut number waiting for you in the car.”
She stood there staring at him and shaking her head. Her lips were pursed at the thought of what he had just said. “This is so unlike you, John. I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.”
Disappointment coursed through her veins as she continued, “You know… I was considering asking you to join me. I want to include you in all that I can now that you know the truth. But now, I don’t think so. You’ve got to learn to trust me first.”
“I trust you, Doc, it’s other men I don’t trust!” “Bullshit, John. If you had it your way, I would not be involved with the ISA and I would be the same woman you think I’ve always been.”
He looked at her shocked, “And just what kind of woman is that?” “The kind that jumps at her husband’s every beck and call. Who follows him around like a love sick puppy and goes along with all of his dramatic searches for his past.” He spat, “Well, now I always pictured myself to be more like you just described than you. And I’m at your every beck and call and your shadow whenever possible because I love you so damn much!”
He took a deep breath. He didn’t want to argue with her anymore and so he spoke with a soft gentle voice, “I resent that you think I don’t want you to be ISA. Sure it’s a little strange, and it’ll take some time to get fully used to, but I’m working on it.” She zipped around to face him, “The what the hell are we arguing about?”
“We’re arguing about you going out dressed so goddamn sexy to see a contact. Doc, I know how those guys are. Just because they’re in the ISA doesn’t mean they don’t think with what’s between their legs.”
“Oh, you mean like you?” The moment the words escaped her she knew they were wrong. She wished she could take them back before they ever completely rolled off her tongue. She closed her eyes hoping for a moment that he had not heard her.
But he heard her loud and clear and his heart ached at the notion that she was still harboring so much pain from when he lied to her about him and Gina. He now knew the pain of being lied to and wondered why she felt it necessary to do the same to him.
“I’m so sorry. I had no right to say that. I don’t really believe that about you,” she pleaded, her voice barely a whisper. Her hand grasped his arm hoping to offer some form of comfort. But John was strong and would not allow himself to get upset. He didn’t want to add to the frustration of the moment by getting into yet another argument about that time. A time they had both accepted and moved past.
Instead, Marlena offered a quick smile to him before grabbing her cell phone and keys from the table. “I won’t be long.” John watched her walk out their door and close it behind her without ever looking back.
Page 73 of 76The dim light flickered as Marlena turned off the tv and rolled over on her back. Tossing the remote to the side, she ran her hands over her face and through her blonde mane. She had spent the last hour or so alone in their bedroom keeping her distance from an angry John.
He was still not ready to forgive her for what she had done and she wanted to give him the time and space he needed inorder to accept her secret career. They had been avoiding each other for three days. She couldn’t blame him for being hurt or even pissed, but she wasn’t expecting so much tension between them.
If she really thought about it, she was in their room not to give him space to cope, but rather to avoid yet another yelling argument.
She wrapped her blanket tighter around her body as she nestled her arm under her pillow and curled up on her side again. Closing her eyes, she thought back to their argument the day before when she went out to meet a contact. There was so much hurt in John’s eyes. It was the first time she had noticed it since his brilliant blues turned gray after she revealed to him her drinking charade. She understood his pain, but she just wanted to take him and love his hurt away. But John wasn’t ready for that yet.
She opened her eyes and rolled over on her back. Another memory assaulted her.
“The what the hell are we arguing about?” “We’re arguing about you going out dressed so goddamn sexy to see a contact. Doc, I know how those guys are. Just because they’re in the ISA doesn’t mean they don’t think with what’s between their legs.”
“Oh, you mean like you?”
Feeling her gut tighten, she forced the memory from her mind. It made her stomach churn that she would say such a thing to him when they had supposedly worked through that awful ordeal. She had to get up. Get air. Marlena made her way over to the french doors.
Upon opening them, the cool nighttime breeze of early summer washed over her senses. And another memory overtook all coherent thought in her mind. A little spat in the kitchen shortly after dinner made Marlena retire to their bedroom without John after Tony and Kristen, their dinner guests, left. Her words were cold when she told him where to shove it. She could still hear him yelling behind her as she slammed the door to their bedroom.
Taking a deep breath, she brought herself out of the emotional assault and opened her silk pajama top a little more to allow the breeze to caress her skin. The sensation of the moment made her thoughts again jump to John. Funny how even at times when they were at odds, sweet memories could still overtake her.
She pictured how he was probably sitting downstairs pretending to look over the Basic Black numbers, or pinning over Stefano’s file for the umpteenth time for any information they could use in their search.
The thought of him brought a slight smile to her lips. Memories of their time together in Hawaii only a few days before, enticed her senses. The way the made love so steady and slow the first night. His hands moving along her body as if to worship her.
Next, the memory of them on the beach the day after. They moved erratically, crashing into each other just as the waves crashed into the shore. His hands touched her much rougher that time and their usual slow love making was replaced by forceful and untimed thrusts. Her grin lengthened. She made no apologies for liking to mix things up a bit every now and then.
She heard the door close behind her and stepped back into the room to allow her guest a clear sight of her. John spoke softly, “I thought you were asleep. I’m sorry, I hope I did not wake you. I’ll just be a minute and then I’ll be out of your hair.”
A discreet smile formed in the corner of her mouth, “You did not wake me. I’ve been watching tv, but I was thinking about to crawling into bed when you came in.”
Glancing around the room and then back at her, it was no secret that he was uncomfortable. Perhaps seeing her in her pale blue silk pajamas made him realize just what he had been missing out on the past few days. He glanced down, noticing her bare feet sticking out from her silk pant bottoms. He swallowed hard. He loved it when she went barefooted.
Shaking the feeling off, John grabbed a pair of sweats and turned back to her. “Then I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be down in the guest room.”
If she were to stop him, she had to think fast. “John, wait. Are you so angry with me that we can no longer even share a bed?” He swallowed hard again. She continued, “John, don’t be silly. Please stay. I promise not to bite,” she winked.
He wanted to stay. Hell he wanted to take her and throw her down on the bed and have his way with her. But his heart still ached at the events of late and his mind could not seem to act on the idea of making love to her just yet. However, she was right. He would be crazy not to at least share the same bed with her. After all, she was his wife.
John came out of the bathroom a few minutes later and saw Marlena still standing on the balcony. She was waiting for him to return before she got in bed herself. She wanted him to see her. To see her get into their bed.
John got comfortable on his side and discreetly watched her from the corner of his eye. She could feel him staring at her. It was what she wanted. If he actually gave it some thought, he knew she was doing it on purpose, but that wouldn’t change anything. He’d still watch her.
As it got later in the night, the room had begun to be lit even more by the brightening moon. She smiled internally at the idea of being bathed in moonlight for John to witness. Marlena slowly removed her silk pants and long sleeve top to reveal a matching, very sexy, and very see through pale blue short night gown.
John’s brow furrowed sexual tension at the sight of her standing there with her blonde hair dancing on her shoulders. His jaw clenched and his breathing quickened. He turned slightly on his side to face her as he no longer cared if she knew he watched. “You are so beautiful, Marlena,” he uttered still unable to go any further. His anger was still too strong.
Her voice was low and husky, “Thank you.” That was all she said as she laid on her side covering herself with the sheet and nestling her blonde head on the pillow. She was not surprised when she felt the warmth of his breath on her neck, “Good night, Doc. I love you.”
She turned toward him a bit to allow for their ritual good night kiss only that time it was only a light peck on the lips. He then moved closer to her and spooned himself into her wrapping his arms tight around her body. “I love you, too, my love,” she whispered before they both drifted off to sleep.
Page 74 of 76A soft glow emitted from the room down the hall drawing Marlena’s attention. She and John had shared yet another silent breakfast before going upstairs to shower. They were to leave for Aremid later that night, and she had some last minute preparations to take care of first. She openly admitted them to not be ISA related. Much to her surprise, John did not question her. She assumed that meant he was finally beginning to trust her.
Marlena poked her head into John’s office and lightly tapped on the wooden door frame. She called out to him, “Hey Sailor. Got a minute?” He raised his head to see her sashaying into the room determined to look as innocent as possible. He smiled, “For you, Pretty Lady? Sure.”
She was the sight of a goddess to him dressed in a pair of faded jeans that John quickly noticed she was poured into, and an orange hooded sweatshirt with the Basic Black logo embroidered across the chest. Her hair was loosely pulled up teasing John with a glimpse of her neck. Sitting perched on her nose were her gold frame glasses. He smiled at her utter cuteness.
“I need therapy.” Her bluntness left him open for a game of truths. John raised his eyebrows in true Black style, “Oh? And what makes you think you need therapy?”
There was a sparkle in her eyes that even with the reflection of his desk lamp he could still see. He motioned with his hand, “Please have a seat and tell me all about your problem.” She sat down with one leg under her and leaned against the arm of the expensive brown leather couch. “Well see. There’s this guy who I’m crazy about.”
“Well I don’t see a problem in that,” he played along fighting the sudden urge to laugh at the silliness in it all. Her eyes darted up at him, “He’s married.” Her words shocked him and he wasn’t sure what to do next, but he continued to play along. “That is a problem. Does this guy know how you feel about him?”
She nodded. “Does he feel the same about you?” Pretending to ponder his question, she tapped her finger on her chin, “Yes.” John was still clueless as to where she was headed with this game of therapy, “Does this guy’s wife know about the attraction you two share?” She pursed her lips and nodded, “Yes, she knows.”
Suddenly, he took on a serious tone, “Well…” “Mrs. Black,” she answered. “Mrs.? So you are married, too?” She nodded. “Okay well, Mrs. Black, it sounds like you are in quite the situation.”
“I am, doctor…” He offers, “Oh I’m sorry. Dr. Black.” She smiled, “Oh it seems we share the same name. Does that happen often?” Still serious, he replied, “Nope, first time for me.”
“Tell me, Mrs. Black, does your husband know that you are having these feelings for another man?” John was on the edge of his seat waiting anxiously for her answer. Hoping she was about to shed some light on her little game.
John’s heart nearly melted at the cuteness of her wrinkling nose, “That’s kind of the problem. See, it’s my husband whom I’m crazy about. But this other person, well let me clarify. My husband sees her as a separate person, but she’s really still me. She did something that made him pretty mad at her.”
He corrected, “At you, you mean.” “Yeah,” she continued, “I’m crazy about him, and he’s so upset with me and I don’t know what to do.” John then asked, “What happened to cause him to be so upset?”
She took a deep breath, “See I have this secret identity. I’m an undercover agent for a worldwide security agency. Because I’m undercover, my husband had no idea until I told him. Now he feels I’ve betrayed him by not telling him sooner. But you see, doctor…”
She trailed off, “Did I mention I’m a doctor, too? In fact, John, my husband, likes to call me ‘Doc’.” He perked his eyebrows in amusement, “Do you like that nickname?”
He noticed the wicked grin spreading across her lips, “Oh yes. But he does use my given name on occasion.” “Oh? And when is that?” he asked. “Usually during extreme situations. When emotions are running high. During very passionate moments,” she said seductively.
Marlena felt she was finally starting to break him. He smiled like a school boy with a crush, but beyond that shyness, she saw her strong handsome husband who still harbored hurt in his blue eyes.
She continued, “So anyway, Dr. Black, the reason I couldn’t tell him was because I have been protecting him. To tell him could have possibly blown my cover. And thus getting him killed.”
“Are you sure that is the only reason he’s upset?” His eyes burned into her own hazel orbs. Yet she looked so cute to him as she bit her lip and answered that he almost took her into his arms right then.
“No. I did something else pretty horrible. I pretended to have a drinking problem so that I could use that as an excuse to get away. I needed to do alot of research. But I realize now that I hurt him badly with that lie. Although, for the record, I’d like to state that when I was confronted by my husband, I never lied. I told him the truth about not having an alcohol problem.”
He tapped his pen on his desk as he listened to her. When her words finally sunk in, he took a deep breath and exhaled in what appeared to be relief. Marlena prayed it was a sign that he would soon forgive her.
“What you admitted to. That’s good cause for your husband to be angry,” he stated casually. She watched his every move as he spoke and hoped to find a sign of any good to come. “I suspect your husband is in alot of pain himself.”
“Doctor, what do I do? Do you think he will forgive me?” John dropped the pen and leaned back in his chair. Marlena watched with intent eyes as he folded his arms across his chest. She swallowed hard at the unease he was putting her through. John took a deep breath. “I think it is only a matter of time,” he sighed half smiling at her.
Page 75 of 76Marlena barged through the penthouse door, “John? Honey, I got your message… where ar…” She stopped mid sentence when she noticed his lean body descending the stairs. He was wearing black jeans and a yellow button up shirt. One of her favorites. He looked yummy to her as she drank in the sight of him.
“Hi…,” she said smiling. “What’s up?” He smiled a huge smile, from ear to ear, like he always did when he was excited about something. She commented, “You’ve got that look about you.”
“Am I that transparent?” he inquired.
“No,” she whispered, “I just know you really well.”
He teased, “If you know me that well, then you already know what this is all about.”
She intrigued by his mystic. “I’m afraid I don’t.”
As much as he normally enjoyed teasing her with suspense, the time had finally come to be serious. John closed the gap between them with one step, reaching out his hands to gently caress up and down her arms. “Doc, baby… I want to apologize to you. I never should have doubted you, and I’m sorry.”
Marlena stood in his grasp mere inches from him breathing in his scent. Relief and a warm familiar sensation washed over her at knowing things would be comfortable between them again, although even when they fought, John and Marlena never strayed too far from each other.
It seemed like an eternity before she spoke, even though it was only a few seconds. “I know I’ve put you in an awkward position. You’re upset with me and yet you can not let anyone know why.” Her words were strangely soothing to John.
He nodded and spoke softly, “The same position I put you in when I asked you to keep the truth about Hope and me secret.”
The eye contact alone was enough to slice cleanly through ice. The fire burning between them would melt any glacier away.
John squeezed her tighter with an intensity only she knows, “Doc, I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me for not trusting you?”
She looked up at him relieved. It felt as if a boulder had been lifted from her shoulders to hear him say that. “You’re not angry anymore?”
“Does that really surprise you? You know I can’t live without you and these past few days have really sucked.” They both laughed at this bluntness both happy to be relieving the tension.
Marlena grew serious once more, “And I’m sorry for the charade. I said before that it wasn’t one of my better ideas. I’ve already given you my reason for doing it, but there really is no excuse for causing you so much pain.”
He smiled, “Thank you. And I forgive you.” John then reached his hand up and gently stroked her face with the back of his fingers before leaning in for a kiss. Marlena wrapped her arms tight around him as they squeezed each other tighter.
John stopped hugging her and pushed her back so that he could see her face, “Oh and by the way. Popeyes is a done deal.”
She jumped up and down in his arms, “Oh goodie!”
He couldn’t help but laugh, but was a little disappointed, “Geez, I think you are more excited about the chicken than my forgiving you.”
She stopped jumping and ran her tongue across her lip giving him an unmistakable seductive look, “No, it’s just that jumping is not what I had in mind for you and me.”
His eyebrow raised, “I’ve got an idea or two myself.”
She smiled, “What are the chances that mine is the same as yours?”
John tilted his head to get closer to her mouth, “I’d never bet against us,” and then he kissed her gently on the lips as he lifted her into his arms.
John sat her down and cradled her face in his hands as he instantly dove into her neck and ear. She uttered, “John, you know our flight is in a few hours.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said as he continued to suck on her ear.
She was breathless already, “Don’t we have to get ready?”
He pulled back, and notioned toward their luggage, “We’re packed,” and then nuzzled her neck again that sent her into the giggles. “Besides, I’ve got some things I need to take care of first.”
He had peeked her interest, “Oh?”
Picking her up, he confirmed, “Mm’mm.”
She stared into his blue eyes, “Sounds like you’re a busy boy when ever will you get some rest?”
John carried his wife to their bed and gently laid her down atop it. “I can rest on the plane. Now, are you gonna keep interrupting me, or let me work?”
By all means, let you work,” she gleamed.
“Good, now take your clothes off,” he demanded.
“What, no dinner or foreplay first?” she teased.
John had already removed his own shirt, “I’ll feed you on the plane, and since when do you need foreplay?”
She smiled seductively, “Good point.”
John crawled up the length of her body and hovered over her staring into her eyes. He feverishly began kissing her neck and exposed chest. She moaned softly in his ear as his tongue danced on her skin. She filled a hand with his hair and was pulling him down onto her when suddenly… the phone rang.
He dropped his head and let it rest on her chest. “Damn,” he uttered while fumbling for the phone. “What?” he answered annoyed to have been interrupted from his exploration of his wife’s body.
“John,” she mouthed hoping it wasn’t Belle on the other end. Or worse, Marlena’s parents.
John listened intently on the other end. “We’ll be right there.” He slammed the phone down. “Sorry, baby. Get dressed, we gotta go.”
Page 76 of 76Marlena sat alone in their stateroom staring out the window into the rainy night, her thoughts lost on what was keeping John. The call that interrupted their make up demanded his immediate attention to some paperwork with the airport before take off. Scott, their pilot, phoned just as John had apologized to Marlena for being so tense with her and for not understanding her need to keep him in the dark all those years.
She was relieved, but could not shake the feeling that all was not well. Yet she sat thinking about him and how wonderful it felt to be headed back on track again. To know John and to not have John 100%, was to not be fully alive. She anticipated their next time together, not like an innocent school girl, but a woman who loved her man with all her heart and needed their passion to survive. However, it seemed she would have to wait a little longer.
There was a new security agent on the clock at the airport and he wanted to try his hand at pushing the weight of his authority around. The rookie agent challenged John’s top secret emergency flight plan and was refusing to let them take off. Too bad for him, he chose John Black as his target. John may have been losing the battle, but he was not making it easy on the guy.
John and Scott were having no luck with the guy and John was just about to call the head of the airport, who he had a very good relationship with, when the security agent suddenly had a change of attitude. The odd part was that John had not even mentioned anything about calling his superiors before the guy changed his mind.
Although, John was relieved to hear that the agent would allow their secret take off, something about it did not sit right with John. John shrugged it off and made his way back to the plane. When he stepped into their stateroom, he was in for a little shock.
He found Marlena talking on her cell phone. “Thanks, Shane. See you soon,” she said before closing her flip phone.
“You’re the reason we’re taking off, aren’t you?” John’s voice startled Marlena as she jumped around toward him, surprised to see he witnessed her call.
Seeing no way to deny it, she answered truthfully. Her voice was soft, but stern. “I did what I had to do.”
“I was handling it,” he spat through gritted teeth.
“We were loosing precious time,” she replied stashing her cell phone in her backpack.
John grew instantly defensive, “Damnit, I said I was handling it! What else have you taken care of behind my back?”
That did not sit well with Marlena who was surprised to hear such vile come from her husband. “That’s not fair, John.”
He threw up his hands in rage, “I don’t need you coming behind my back and fixing things you have no business fixing! It’s not your place.”
The look on her face told the story of her utter amazement and shock at his bluntness, but she was not about to back down from his male pride, and took on somewhat of a sarcastic tone. “So, let me get this straight. This trip to Aremid has nothing to do with me? Since when, John? You know that even if I didn’t think I was somehow involved, it has everything to do with me because of you! I’m your wife.”
“No, you were just sent here to protect me. Well, guess what, Doc. I don’t need your goddamn protection!” he waved his hand in her face as if he were trying to erase her very existence and he turned and walked away from her.
Tears and anger welled up inside her in one moment. Her heart ached yet rage coursed through her veins. All of her years as the woman who loved that man could not take back the pain that he just caused. She grabbed her backpack and stormed out into the rainy night.
He jumped when he heard the door to their stateroom slam shut. He took off, calling out to her, “Damnit, Marlena, don’t walk out on me like that!” Marlena had already walked across the airstrip to their limo that was waiting until time to pick up Tony and Kristen.
John finally caught her as she flung open the limo door, “I said hold on! His hand grabbed her upper arm.
Tossing her bag into the limo, she then jerked around tearing her arm from his grip. “Never in my wildest dreams did I ever believe I would see the day when you acted like a chauvinistic pig!”
Marlena was not amused. “How the hell do you expect me to do my job when you’re acting like a child? John, I realize that you were once a cop, and that you have the memories and knowledge of being an agent when we thought you were Roman, and that you have all this highly specialized training from Stefano, but that doesn’t mean I am not capable of doing my job!”
The rain continued to beat down on them as they fought. John wiped the rain from his face as he pleaded, “I never said you couldn’t do your job.”
“Yes, you did! In there, in the plane,” she pointed toward her point of reference as she continued, “You said, and I quote, it’s not your place. Now that to me means you have no faith in me. You don’t believe that I am capable of doing what you did. Well, I’ve got news for you, John Black. I respect you as a man, as my husband… and as an opponent.”
His expression grew furrowed as he mouthed the word opponent. As if doing so would suddenly clear up everything. Her words broke him from his confused state, “Did you ever stop to think about what an agent who was designed to protect you from Stefano would do to protect herself from you? That’s right. The knowledge that the ISA gained from Stefano’s file on you, they used to train me to be your greatest adversary.”
She paused to let her words take meaning within John. The rain had begun to seep through her trench coat to her white button up shirt. Her normally bouncy blonde hair was now drenched and hanging haphazardly on her shoulders. John tried to advert his eyes from the tempting image before him as the anger in his head continued to boil over. He swallowed hard.
“I know your every move. I am trained in every aspect of fighting and defense as you are,” she stated.
Marlena knew this information would be difficult for John to accept. Not just because the idea of Marlena Evans-Black being an ISA agent almost sounded far fetched, but because he prided himself on taking care of his wife and family. It’s who he was, who he needed to be. Without a conscious memory of a past, he was nothing but what the present and future would bring.
Yet she never fully prepared herself for his only understandable reaction. It was something that she knew she would never be prepared for and so she waited for the day that the truth was revealed with both anticipation and dread.
She loved her husband and was empathetic to his feelings, but she was not about to back down from him now. “What that translates to is, I’m the only person you’ve ever had to fear. And I’m on your side… not your opponent.”
The Jarlena Journal 