All I Know – By Tarin

“Carrie, time for bed.” Marlena stuck her head in Carrie’s door and immediately regretted it. Fifteen year old girls were supposed to be slobs, but how could she live like that? Marlena glanced around the room and made a mental note of the laundry on the floor. ‘Pick your battles’ she heard her mother saying in her mind. Smiling to herself, she reminded Carrie again. “Hang up honey, it’s almost 11:00. Go to bed.”

“OK, Marlena… I am. One more minute.” Carrie nodded to Marlena. “Lori is helping me with history.”

Marlena gave Carrie a knowing look: ‘History my foot.’ “One more minute, that’s it Carrie.”

“OK, promise.” Carrie waved goodnight.

Marlena moved down the hall thinking she’d have to have a talk with Carrie about that room, at least the food on the floor. As she opened Sami’s door, Marlena reached in and turned out the light. She kissed Sami’s cheek as she removed the book from her sleeping daughters’ hands. Samantha Gene was a beautiful eight year old; long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She was shy and thoughtful, always eager to please. Always seeking approval, Sami followed Roman everywhere. Marlena laughed at the mental picture of Roman stopping short and Sami bumping into him. She sure worshipped her Daddy. Marlena kissed her daughter again, whispered “I love you sweetie girl”, and closed the door. Marlena made a mental note to plan and afternoon with the family. ‘They need Roman’ she thinks to herself. ‘Who am I kidding, I need Roman!’ she thought with a bit of resentment.

At the end of the hall she opened Eric’s door quietly. Her son was sprawled out on his bed with the latest issue of Sports Illustrated for Kids under his foot. The spring training issue. Eric had inherited Roman’s love of sports, especially baseball. Roman had coached Eric’s team to the championship last year. Marlena knew Eric had his heart set on Roman coaching again this year. She hoped his Daddy wouldn’t let him down.

With everyone settled in for the night, Marlena headed downstairs. The fire was still going stong and the living room had a warm glow. She poured herself a glass of wine and picked up the file on her newest patient: Simon Cole. ‘Well,’ she thinks, ‘Happy Anniversary honey.’

***

She heard the door click gently and opened her eyes. He was standing over the couch looking at her. “Hey you.”

“Hey yourself.” She smiled up at him. “What time is it?”

“Almost midnight.”

“You’re early Commander.” Marlena is only half-kidding as she pulled herself into a sitting position and tucked her feet under her. Roman hadn’t been home this early in weeks. He walked over to the fireplace and added a log. As the flames danced upward, she could see the tension in his back and immediately regretted sounding testy. “Want to talk about it?”

Roman sighed, “Not really.” Marlena got off the couch and walked up behind him. She ran her hands over his back and felt the muscles ripple under her fingers. Roman let out a long-held breath and turned towards her. “Happy Anniversary, Doc.”

“Happy Anniversary to you. I wasn’t sure you remembered.” He slid his arms around her waist and laughed.

“Me, gee how could I forget today?” She too laughed at the freudian slip. Of course he couldn’t forget something he didn’t remember! “I love you so much,” he whispered as he ran his fingers over her face. He touched her lips and gently kissed her.

“Baby, I love you,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been here much lately. It’s this damn case. I can’t get past-“

” Sshhh….” she whispers. “Later. We can talk about it all later. Right now you’re here and that’s what matters.” Marlena slid her arms around his neck and kissed him gently. “I’ve missed you so much Roman.”

He leaned in to deepen the kiss. “I’ve missed you, too. So much it hurt.” As the kiss intensified, Roman heard Marlena whimper. He ran his hands through her hair and pulled her head back, exposing her neck.

Marlena cried out “Roman!” as he began to run his tongue down her neck.

“I need you so much, Doc.” It was all he could do not to rip her clothes off.

“I need you too, Roman. You’re all I need.” Marlena began to slowly unbutton his shirt, stopping to kiss his chest and neck along the way. He took a deep breath and mentally reminded himself to go slow, even if it killed him. “I thought you wouldn’t make it home Commander. I’m so glad you did….” She ran her hand around his waist, pulling the shirt out of his jeans. Her arms came up and around his shoulder and the shirt was gone.

Roman slipped his hands under her sweater and pulled it over her head. He looked down at her and smiled, “I couldn’t stay away.”

She undid the buttons on his jeans as he reached down to kiss her jaw, her shoulders, her…. “Roman, I want you now…please?”

Roman laughed as he unbuttoned her jeans. “I love it when you beg, Doc.” He picked her up in his arms and they needed no more words.

Roman pulled the blanket over her bare back as he climbed out of bed. 5:40 am and he was already late. He’d only slept for two hours, yet he felt like a new man. He looked down at her again and thought ‘I’m the luckiest man in the world.’ Marlena began to toss in her sleep and he leaned down to kiss her shoulder. “Ssshhh baby, I’m here.”

She mumbled his name and sighed contently. Roman smiled. She did wonders for his ego. He grabbed a pair of boxers and headed for the shower. Ten minutes later her turned the hot water off and heard her screaming. “Roman help me! Roman! Roomaaan!!!”

He grabbed for the door and ran into the bedroom, naked and dripping wet, desperate to reach her. Marlena was sitting up in bed with her arms outstretched and her eyes closed. ‘Shit!’ he silently screams. ‘Not again!’ Roman climbed across the bed and reached for her. “Ssshhh I’m here, Doc. It’s OK. I love you and I’m here. It’s over.”

She was shaking violently as he wrapped the comforter around her and held her in his arms. “I’m cold, Roman. The water is sooo cold. I can’t breath…”

“I’ve got you now. It’s warm. We’re home.” Roman began to rub her back and gently kiss her head. “Please wake up Marlena. It’s OK. I’m here.” He could feel her beginning to calm down; gradually the shaking stopped.

There was a soft knock on the door. “Daddy?”

“It’s OK Carrie, she’s fine. Go back to bed honey.” He heard her walk back down the hall to her room and shut the door. ‘Great. Just great. Everytime he thinks it’s behind them the nightmares start again and torment his family. That bastard Orpheus would never be dead enough for Roman.’ He prayed silently, ‘Please God, let her wake up. Let it be over for her.’ Roman leaned down to kiss her cheek and she opened her eyes.

“Roman? Oh gosh I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Doc stop, relax. Are you OK now?”

She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes. She knew how much the nightmares freaked him out and she felt bad about upsetting him again. “I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s OK Roman… it’s nothing. I’m sorry.”

“Damnit, stop saying you’re sorry! You have nothing to be sorry about.” He reached out again and pulled her into his lap. It broke his heart to see her go through this pain again. Rubbing her back gently he asked, “Same one?”

“Yes…I’m OK, really.” He thought this was over. She hadn’t had that dream in monthes. The doctors had told him they would eventually go away when she felt secure again. Why was she having them again? Why now? He tried to remember when she’d had the last on. Summertime maybe? Or was it more recent? He’d been gone so many nights lately he didn’t know. He hadn’t asked and she didn’t say anything so he had assumed they were gone.

“Relax, honey. Take a deep breath.”

“The water is sooo cold Roman. I can’t breath… I’m drowning….”

It’s April 22, 1987 all over again. She’s on a plane and Roman is in the airport. She can’t see him but she knows he’s there. “Roman!” she screams. “Stop the plane!” she screams to the pilot.

“I have my orders, lady.” As the plane takes off she can feel the panic engulf her. She feels the explosion and the cold water. She wakes up ten days later in a hospital in the carribean with Roman at her side, looking like he hadn’t slept in weeks. He told her Orpheus was dead, the Sea Patrol rescued her, and the nightmare was over. If only that had been true.

Marlena had been haunted by these nightmares for almost five years. They used to be a nightly ordeal in the Brady house. Gradually, they slowed down to two or three times a month. Then every other month. Now it seemed the nightmares were back full force. “Where are you, Doc?” Roman turned her face towards him. “Look at me. We’re here in our bed. He is gone. We’re together and nothing will ever change that. The kids are here and we are all OK. Please, please believe that.”

“I do Roman, I know…” Marlena closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m OK honey, I promise.”

Roman looked down at her. He felt his chest tighten again as he grasped her shoulders and pulled her up to face him. “Open your eyes.” As she did he saw the tear stream down her face. Instinctively, he reached up with his right thumb and brushed the tears away. Staring into her eyes he began to speak. “I love you. Do you hear me? No one, NO ONE will ever take you from me. God help anyone who tries. Do you understand me? We will never be apart. Say you believe me.”

Marlena looked into his blue eyes and saw something flicker. Almost like a match lit in his brain. ‘God help the person who tries…’ She felt a chill run down her spine. Placing her hands on either side of his face, she kissed his lips. “I believe you Roman. It’s in the past. It’s OK now. I’ve just been missing you, that’s all.”

“Doc…” Roman tried to get her to talk to him but she covered his mouth with her fingertips and began nibbling on his ear, whispering seductively.

“I’ve missed you so much honey….let me show you how much…”

Roman took a deep breath. “Doc, you’re avoiding this ….oohhh…Marlenaaa…” Marlena had pushed him back on the bed and began to kiss his chest and abdomin, slowly working her way downward.

“You don’t have to leave just yet … do you Commander?”

Roman ran his finger through the blonde hair that lay across his abdomin, barely able to catch his breath. “I couldn’t … leave now… if… I tried…. mmmm that feels great, Doc…” Marlena laughed a deep, sexy laugh. She had him right where she wanted him.

Roman threw the file on his desk and pulled a carton of fried rice from the bag Abe brought in. “Anything new?”

“Nothing Abraham. If I could tell what boat that shipment was coming in on I’d get that warrent in a minute. Rafi Torres has the customs officials so tied up I can’t get a damn thing out of anyone.”

Abe looked over at Roman. “The lead will come Buddy. It always does.”

“Where the hell is Bo?”

“He’s at Shawn D’s school play. He’ll be back around 4:00.”

‘Great,’ thought Roman. Maybe they’d have something by then. “I want Rafi this time Partener. No more drugs in Salem.”

“I know Roman. If we get one more OD on the riverfront I don’t know what Lexie will do. She can’t stand to seeing all those kids so strung out.”

“Doc, too. Is Lex still talking about Med school?”

“Yeah, she and Jonah were in a serious discussion about it this weekend. I think she’s just waiting for this Torres mess to be over before she bails out on us.”

Roman smiled at Abe. “Good for her. Definate advantages to being married to a lady doctor Abraham.”

“Let me guess, great bedside manner?” Both men laughed for a moment and it felt good. Too soon Roman looked at the newspaper on his desk.

TWO TEEN ARRESTED AT HIGH SCHOOL DANCE 16 YEAR OLD OD’S AT SKATING RINK

Damn, this had to stop. “Let’s hit it Partener.”

Abe and Roman went back to the docks to walk through the warehouse district again. They were a familiar site on the riverfront and Roman liked it that way. Let them know I’m watching them, thought Roman. He was sure that sooner or later Rafi’s men would screw up. They were young and inexperienced, too confident and too sloppy. Roman was just waiting for the right opportunity to present itself and then he would throw Rafi Torres’ ass in jail for good.

Passing Pier 6, Abe noticed two men standing at the end of the dock arguing. He motioned to Roman and the slowly walked down the stairs and ducked under the pier. “No way man, I’m not doing it. That’s too much at once. We’re talking minimum 25 years in jail Joey.”

A grungy-looking young man with a crew cut, five earrings, and a green trenchcoat shook his head. “Torres is nuts Joey. There are so many cops around here my grandma can’t jaywalk!”

“Cool out man, he knows what he’s doin’. Brady’s head is up his ass, man.”

Roman smiled as he watched the exchange. Joey laughed. Tall and skinny, with fuzzy sideburns and a long blonde ponytail, he definately didn’t look like a mafia soldier. Roman and Abe looked these two over from their spot under the pier. Rafi sure new how to pick them. What the hell was he thinking when he hired these guys? Roman stepped to the left to get a closer look.

“These cops don’t catch no one, Eddie. This is easy money. Come on…this will be the last time. We’ll blow out of here as soon as this job is over. Torres will hook us up in New York if we do this right.”

” I don’t know man, I got a bad feelin’ about this. When’s this shipment comin’?”

“3:30. We got twelve hours, man. Let’s party for a while, get this job done and it’s adios Salem. Come on Eddie, this our ticket out dude.”

Roman watched from under the pier as Joey and Eddie headed for the stairs. Amatuers. Torres blew this one bigtime. These goons just gave Roman and Abe everything they needed. As the footsteps faded, Abe got on his radio. After giving Schoefield the decriptions and surviellance orders he turned to Roman. “Done.”

“OK. Back to the Copshop. Get Green, Loftus, and McBride in now. We need to map it out. Have someone find Bo for me.”

As Abe began to radio in Salems’ finest, Roman walked out to the water and took a deep breath. For the first time in monthes he felt good about his job. He knew that this would be over by tomorrow and life would return to normal. Well, as normal as life got for Roman Brady. He closed his eyes and could feel his arms around her. ‘Soon Doc…very soon.’ The adreniline rush that comes with impending victory raced through him. He could feel the blood rushing through his veins and his heart pounded in his chest. Torres and his organization would crumble tonight. Bastards. They’re done. God he wanted his wife.

Roman opened his eyes and laughed. The rush always made him want her. It was as if making love to her was his victory dance. The ultimate prize. ‘She’d kill me for thinking that,’ he laughed again. Soon. Roman turned to Abe and nodded. They headed back to the station discussing the best way to take out Torres.

Bo was waiting in Roman’s office. “Hey Bro, got your message. Hope and Shawn D are stayin’ at Mrs. H’s tonight.”

“Good, they shouldn’t be on the boat when this goes down.”

“She’s still really pissed-off that you won’t let her in on this one.”

“Well I won’t tell her it was your call, kid.” Roman and Bo shared a smile. Over the past few years they had become extremely close. The animousity Bo felt towards Roman while he was growing up had turned into great respect. Bo had become Roman’s biggest supporter and the feeling was mutual. When Kayla’s husband, Steve Johnson, died Bo was heartbroken. Roman had been right there for him and for Kayla and Stephanie, too. The Brady siblings seemed so much closer these past six years then ever before. Kim and Shayne were still in Salem, too. It took them a long time to work through thier problems, but they did, much to the family’s relief. The Brady’s love Shane and he was as much a part of the family as Marlena and Hope.

Bo tacked a map of the warehouse district to the eisel. Roman immediately began placing coded tacks along the designated lines to mark where and when he wanted his men to move. Roman always used the unconventional approach. Abe looked at him in awe as he mapped the raid and gave his lieutenants thier assignments. Green, Loftus and McBride had their lists of officers and everyone ran through the breakdown again. They had it down cold. Roman was excellent at his job and had every confidence in his men. They had that same confidence in him and knew exactly what they were facing. “OK. It’s 9:00pm. Get something to eat and I want everyone back here at 10:30.” Bo decides to check on Hope. “I’ll be back in 20 minutes, man.”

“I’m going to call Lexie Buddy, can I bring you something to eat?”

“I think I can take of that, Abe.” Both men turned to see her standing in the doorway, holding a bag from the fishmarket that smelled like Shawn’s chowder and Caroline’s coffee. Abe reached for the bag and kissed Marlena’ cheek.

“You are an angel. How did you know we were starving?”

“You guys are always starving, Abe.” Roman and Abe laughed as Abe took a coffee and a container of soup from the bag.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Abe noticed that Marlena and Roman’s eyes had locked onto each other and he could have melted into the floor without either of them noticing. “Yeah, OK, Bye you two..” he chuckled as he closed the door behind them.

“Hi.”

“Hi yourself, Commander.”

“What brings you here on this cold, cold night?” She walked towards him and slid her arms over his shoulders.

“I needed a warm hug. A warm kiss.” He slid his hands into her open coat and around her waist.

“Lucky for you I have just what you need.” She melted into kiss as he pulled her closer. She felt his warm lips part as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. The temperature in Roman’s office rose quickly and the Commander forgot where he was for a moment. Marlena ran her fingers through his hair as the kiss broke. He began to slide her coat off as he kissed her neck. “Mmmm Roman…. can’t you come home for just a little while?”

Roman is jolted back into reality. “Sorry Doc… I didn’t mean to get carried away there.” He stepped back and laid her coat on a chair.

“Well I did, ” Marlena said with a smile.

“Things are picking up with this case and it’s going to be a long night.” He saw the expression on her face change from desire to concern.

“Honey…?”

“It’s OK. Nothing to worry about. We’ve got everything covered.”

“The Torres family?”

“Doc, don’t worry. It will be over soon.”

“Oh Roman, be careful!”

“I’m always careful, ” he said, giving her a quick kiss. “That chowder smells great. Want some?”

“No, I ate with the children. Are you sure you’ ll be careful?”

“Baby come on, have some of Ma’s coffee with me. I only have a few minutes.”

She knew he was avoiding her, not looking at her, moving away physically. He had to stay away to avoid answering her. “Roman.”

He stopped and closed his eyes. “Doc, you know me. You know how I work. Don’t do this to yourself.” He opened his eyes and looked at her. “How long have I been doing this? Stop worrying.”

“This case has consumed you for months, Roman. I know how much you want Torres…”

Roman knew the nightmare would trigger these fears again. She was in his office at 9:15 on a freezing February night becauses she was afraid. “I love you Marlena. This will be over tomorrow and I’ll take a few days off. We’ll spend them together OK.”

It was not a question. Roman looked at her and waited to gauge her response. “OK Roman. I know you’ll be careful.” She smiled bravely but her could see the fear in her eyes.

‘Damnit!’ She was the strongest person he had ever known but the idea of them being apart scared the hell out of her. Him too, actually, but he was able to turn the fear into anger, into power. It served him well on more then one occassion, too. Not her, though. The fear suffocated her. Roman sighed. Tomorrow they were going to talk about this. He would not allow her to distract him again, no matter how much he enjoyed her distractions. “Have some coffee Doc. How was your day?”

She sat down on his desk and took the coffee. “Thanks. My day was OK. My new patient cancelled again. I was so intrigued by his file, I can’t wait to meet him. This could be a great case study if he ever shows up.”

“Why do you think he keeps cancelling on you?”

“Apparently it’s his job… the stress… anyway. It could make a great paper.” Roman knew she wouldn’t reveal much. She never did. The confidentiality of her patients meant everything in her profession. He often wondered how she kept it all in check but them she was always so amazing to him. He smiled as he dug into the chowder. Marlena glanced at the map across the room. “Tonight is really it, huh?”

Roman leaned over the desk and smiled at her. “No way, tomorrow night the real action begins.” She had to laugh at the lusty grin on his face. She decided to go on that happy note, before she got upset again.

Picking up her coat, she reached over to touch his face. “Take care of yourself. For me, please?”

“Anything for you. I love you.” Roman gently kissed her twice and briefly contemplated sending a uniform home with her. No, that would really upset her. Hope was next door and the house was patrolled regularly, not to mention alarmed to the hilt.

“Call me when it’s over. No matter what time. Promise me, Roman?”

“Doc, I probably won’t be able to call you until the morning so don’t wait on me.” Useless, he realized. She would never sleep now.

Marlena hugs him tight. “Love you,” she whispered as she walked out the door. She repeated her silent prayer… the one she said each time they left each other: ‘God keep him safe. Bring him home to me.’

Rafi Torres looked out over the balcony fo his penthouse atop the Salem Towers. The view of the riverfront was spectacular. ‘Tonight I own this town’ he thinks to himself. Brady and Carver were lightweights. They’d never even get close to him. ‘When I’m done with Brady he’ll wish he never came back to Salem.’ Rafi almost smiled.

When the elevator doors opened into the living room, Luis Torres was yelling loudly. “No f***king way man, forget it. I said black and I meant black, not blue and not gray. If I wanted some pansy-ass car I’d get a ‘vette. Porches are black. Period.”

Miguel Torres walked in behind his older brother and looked at Rafi with a hopeless shrug. “Whatever Luis. I don’t care if you by a skateboard, just shut up already.”

Rafi looked at his two brothers with a mixture of anger and disgust. “Where have you two idiots been? It’s after 10:00. We have five hours left and you two clowns are discussing cars. What is wrong with you?!”

Miguel and Luis stopped dead in thier tracks. Rafi was pissed-off as usual. But tonight he seemed more on edge then ever, which was why to two younger Torres brothers stayed away so long. When Rafi was this edgy he was more then mean, he was deadly. He was physically small, slight compared to his younger brothers. Both Luis and Miguel were over six feet and at least 200 lbs., yet Rafi towerred over them in every way that mattered.

“Where the hell did you find those two goons?”

Obviously Rafi was referring to Joey and Eddie. “You wanted guys no one could mark, Rafi. No one can tag Joey or Eddie to a parking ticket in this town. They were easy to clean.”

Luis had hand-picked these guys himself and wanted the credit. When the job was a success he wanted to make sure Rafi knew who to thank. Rafi was thinking he’d know who to blame. ” They look like two punk rock rejects. I can’t believe you actually chose those two from the list of names available men I gave you. I swear to God Luis if they blow this in any way tonight, if they so much as blink wrong, I’ll break your balls myself.”

Both the younger Torres brothers looked down and waited for Rafi’s instructions. “We have to finalize our plans with Kiriakis. Get him over here now.”

“Got it Rafi,” Luis ran to make the call. ‘That’s it Luis, cover those ball,’ though Rafi. No matter what went down tonight, Rafi had reached a decision. Miguel was to become his second- in- command. Miguel was younger, but he had potential. Luis made consistantly bad choices, partied too much, and talked too much.

Rafi had carried his brothers for as long as he could remember. His father died when he was twelve and he became the man of the house. Carmen Torres spoke no english. She relied on Rafi for everything. He paid the bills, disciplined his brothers, protected his sister, and kept the family going. For twenty years Rafi did whatever was necessary to get to where he was tonight. He would not be stopped. Not by his brothers. Not by the morons chosen to push tonight. Not by the Salem PD. Definately not by Roman Brady. Rafi walked out to the terrace while Luis made the necessary phone calls and Miguel fixed himself a drink. Roman Brady. He was everything Rafi wasn’t. Tall, athletic, handsome. Roman was a jock in high school. He was older then Rafi but his reputation was legendary in Salem. Everyone knew the Brady’s. Roman was Salem’s hero. Brave cop, gorgeous wife, beautiful kids, house in the suburbs. The thought of Roman Brady’s perfect life made Rafi sick. ‘Tonight that ends,’ thought Rafi. ‘I’m the man after tonight.’ Rafi Torres was ready to become the next legend in Salem. He smiled as he looked out over the city.

Victor Kiriakis was not happy with the recent turn of events. He did not like Rafi Torres. He did not like being summoned to his home this late at night. He did not like being involved in drugs, no matter how much profit it netted him. Victor had been trying to clean up his businesses for quite some time but Rafi Torres was making it impossible. Victor had agreed to launder some money for the Torres Organization as a favor to an old friend. He knew Rafi was bad news and involving himself with the Salem drug trade was only going to alienate Bo further. Not that they had any relationship to begin with, but Victor knew that if Bo ever found out about his connection to Rafi he would never come around. Damnit, how did he get involved with this?

Nick held the door open as Victor got out of the car. “Shall I go up with you, Sir?”

“Yes. I plan on making this brief but let’s not take any chances.

The elevator door opened and Victor and Nick stepped into the penthouse. Rafi’s guns gave them a once-over glance and nodded. “Victor. Glad you could make it tonight. I wanted to be clear on a few things before our package arrived. Miguel, fix Victor a drink.”

“That won’t be necessary, I’m not staying long. We only need to be clear on one thing, Rafi. This is it. After tonight you and I have no need for further contact. Our business relationship ends here.”

Victor meant exactly what he said. He wanted out. Rafi glared at Victor. “Excuse me, I don’t think I heard you correctly. We had an agreement. Tonight is the beginning of a new era in this town and I was under the impression you were coming along, Victor.”

“Well you were mistaken.” Victor was through playing with this punk. Rafi Torres was a dirty mobster. Drugs, prostitutes, guns, gambling… all the things Victor found so distasteful. Money laundering, costruction, politics…these were things he could work with and still be respected. Rafi brought drugs into his own nieghborhood.

Victor would have no more of it. “I’ve already spoken with New York. I’ll take care of things tonight but that’s it. I don’t expect to hear from you again. Goodnight Rafi.”

Victor and Nick turned towards the elevator. “You’re a fool Kiriakis. Finding out Bo Brady was your bastard son really did a number on you, huh?”

Victor stopped and turned around. “Bo has nothing to do with my decision. You’re a bad investment, Rafi. Take my advice, lose the drugs and the guns. Clean up your men. Polish your approach. You’re too smart to ruin things and too difficult to work with. Smooth out the edges and maybe you’ll find another partener. And Rafi, ” Victor stared straight through to his soul, “don’t ever go near my son.”

Rafi watched as Victor and Nick stepped into the elevator. “Gee, thanks for the advice old man!” As soon as the doors closed he started to scream. “Shit! Where the hell am I going to find someone to front this now? Damn New York! They should have called me! They should have warned me!” Luis and Miguel looked at each other nervously. Kiriakis pulling out could seriously screw up thier plans.

“What about tonigt Rafi? Are we still going through with it?”

“Hell yes! This is my night and no one ruins it. No One!” Rafi moved towards the elevator, followed by Luis, Miguel, and the guns. Victor would regret this. Rafi would see to it.

1:15pm Marlena turned off the tea kettle and reached for a mug. A knock at the back door startled her. “Hope – come in sweetie,” she said as she opened the back door. “How are you?”

“As well as can be expected as they say. You?”

“OK. I just want this night to be over, you know.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Marlena motioned to the kettle and Hope nodded. Taking down another mug, Marlena noticed Hope seemed more then a bit annoyed. “Feeling left out?”

“I know why he did it, Marlena, but sometimes I could spit nails! Just once I wish Bo was the one to sit out and I got the call.”

Marlena nodded, “I know Hope. Roman has already bent the rules by letting you and Lex work in the same precinct as Bo and Abe.”

Hope shook her head in frustration. “Oh Marlena I’ve heard it all before. Believe me, I know how lucky we are. I know we’ll never be given the same assignment. I know Bo has seniority. I’m just tired of using my training to do school safety seminars while Bo gets a crack a the biggest drug bust in Salem’s history!” It really wasn’t fair. Hope was a good cop. She could be a great cop if given half a chance.

Marlena handed her the mug of tea. “I know it’s hard for you. I’m so glad you’re here though.”

Hope smiled. “Me, too.” She loved Marlena like a sister. Kim and Kayla were great, but she and Marlena had a special connection. Married to those fabulous Brady boys and all that came with that. “Who’s on Johny Carson?” she asked.

Marlena smiled. “I don’t know. Let’s see.”

***

Roman and Abe went over the plan again. No one would move until they gave the OK. The DEA and the Customs officials had been briefed, but this was to be Salem PD’s bust. Roman had a reputation of getting the job done and the feds were willing to let him do it his way. Roman and Abe wanted to wait until the last possible minute before going in. They had to make sure they had Rafi nailed. No loose ends. Roman wasn’t about to let anyone walk on a technicality. He had figured Rafi’s boys would talk soon enough. No matter; they’d get plenty of jailtime whether they cooperated or not.

2:50 am Roman and Abe left the precinct first. Slowly, they pulled up to Pier Six and parked behind a dumpster. In the next ten minutes fifty cops would surround Warehouse 17, some from neighboring cities, as well as a dozen DEA agents and Customs officers. Roman kept is eyes peeled for Torres. He was sure Rafi would show. He’d never trust his brothers to oversee their biggest drop to date. Roman smiled. ‘You egotistical son-of-a-bitch…I’m waiting for you.’

3:03am Like clockwork, Roman saw his people move in position. No one would have guessed from the quiet of the night what was about to happen. Roman and Abe had hand-picked their best people for tonight and it showed. The prostitute on the steps was Connie Santos. She watched the water and lit a cigarette when the motorboat appeared. The john walking towards her was Ted Loftus, twenty years on the force and never a questionable arrest. These people could handle anything.

3:10am Roman watched as Bo snaked down the roof and through a window. ‘Go kid,’ thought Roman. Roman glanced at his watch. Bo had three minutes to get into position. They were cutting it close. As far as they could figure, Rafi thought tonight was a lock. There weren’t many snitches willing to inform on Torres. His reputation for retaliation was brutal; few small timers would risk that for some extra cash or a favor. Thank God for Joey and Eddie. Roman had briefly wondered if they where a decoy, but dismissed that idea. Rafi was too full of himself to ever think the Salem PD would bust him. No need for decoys when dealing with the master. ‘Bastard’ thought Roman. He couldn’t wait to get Rafi Torres into the interrogation room.

3:23am A gray sedan pulled up in front of the warehouse. Two Torres soldiers got out and went into the warehouse. Three minutes later they came out and opened the car doors. Rafi, Miguel, and Luis Torres stepped out onto the sidewalk. Roman and Abe watched from the shadows. ‘Slow’ thought Roman. ‘Take this nice and easy.’ He unclipped his police-issue 357 from his shoulder holster and stuck it into his jeans. He motioned to Abe and they slowly moved towards the warehouse. Roman went over everyone’s next move in his head. The DEA should have their cameras ready to record this moment for posterity. Santos walked down the dock, signaling the beginning of the unloading of tonight’s cargo. McBride and his men where now coming from the northside into the back of the warehouse. Green and his men were positioned inside. Just about now Bo should be locked on Joey and Eddie as they finished unloading the boat onto the dock beneath the warehouse.

3:30am Showtime. Roman and Abe walked quickly to the south end of the warehouse and got a glimpse around back. Rafi stood with his brothers and ten well-armed soldiers. Joey and Eddie were telling him how pleased they were to make his acquaintance. “Mr.. Torres, man, like it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Joey smiled and extended his right hand. Rafi gave him a look of disgust. “I trust you have my package.”

“Dude, it’s right down there. The whole freakin’ load. I ain’t never seen that much coke in my life. 800 kilos! You the man, Rafi!” Joey’s babbling was the result of nerves cranked up by too many lines and a six-pack of Coors. Eddie could barely think straight so he figured he’s better keep quiet. Rafi looked at these two low-lifes, glared at Luis, and shook his head.

“Pay these two Miguel and get them out of my face.”

Miguel handed Joey an envelope with $50,000., keys to a car parked outside, and a reference card for New York. “Blue Thunderbird outside. Leave Salem tonight.”

Joey took the envelope and laughed. “Sure thing dude, we’re outta here. Let’s jam Eddie. Anytime you wanna do business Mr. Torres, you let me know. It’s been a freakin’ pleasure.” Just as Joey turned to walk away Roman stepped out of the shadows.

“Hold on there pal, I wouldn’t move if I were you.” The barrel of Roman’s gun pointed directly at Rafi.

“Everybody freeze!” As Rafi’s men started to draw on Roman sixty-two voices sang out in unison. “Freeze! Police! Drop your weapons. Raise your hands. Now!”

It was music to Roman’s ears. The look on Rafi’s face was priceless. As his men looked around in shock, Joey panicked. “Shit man, Eddie…run!”

“Freeze!” yelled dozens of voice. Shots rang out as everyone ran for cover. Roman saw two of Rafi’s men draw on Joey and Eddie. One fired before Abe took him out, hitting Joey in the back, killing him instantly. Eddie fell to the ground, covering his head.

“Freeze Torres!” Bo screamed. Miguel turned and fired up at Bo. Roman saw Bo fall from the loft where he was positioned.

“Officer down!” yelled Roman as he fired twice at Miguel, hitting him in the chest. Silence, except for the click of the guns drawing on the remaining Torres men. Rafi was bent over Miguel, whispering “…no, no, no…” Roman looked around to see where Bo fell. “Officer down here!” yelled a voice from the back. Roman ran towards Bo. He was lying on the ground, bleeding from his right shoulder. “Bo, hey kid….can you hear me?”

“Yeah bro…I hear you.” Roman let out a sigh of relief as he felt Bo’s vest. Thank God Roman had insisted. The bullet went through Bo’s right shoulder cleanly, but it was really bleeding now. Roman figured he’d have a concussion from the fall. “You’re gonna be fine kid. An ambulance is on the way.”

“I can get up man,” said Bo, as he stuggled to sit up. Roman pushed him back down. “Just relax Bo. We don’t know about that fall.”

“The wound is clean, though. Right?”

“Yup. Right shoulder entry and exit. How do you feel. Can you move your legs? Your hands?”

“Yeah, there fine Roman. I think I’m gonna have a massive headache, though.” Roman laughed as he stood up. Thank God. He turned to survey the area and saw the Torres men had been cuffed and led away.

Abe was cuffing Rafi while Miguel was led out. Rafi leaned over to kiss his dead brother’s face. Roman watched the scene, looking directly at Rafi, silently challenging him. “You’ll pay for this Brady. On my brother’s life …you will pay.” Roman never blinked as Rafi was led away.On a remote airstrip outside of Chicago his private plane touches down. A limousine is waiting to for him. He hasn’t been back in years. He hasn’t seen her in years. It was time…

“Sami, he’s still sleeping. Mommy said don’t wake him up.” Eric pulled Sami toward the stairs for the third time that morning. Marlena had told them to let their Daddy sleep. He’d gotten home sometime during the night after working for two days straight.

“I just want to see him.” Sami protested. She had missed Roman terribly. She had so much to tell him about her riding lessons, school, the book she just finished. Everything in her life included him, required him. Eric knew just how she felt. He had so much to tell Roman, too. The Cubs tickets were going on sale next week. Roman had promised Eric a trip to Chicago for Opening Day. Just the guys. Eric wondered if maybe they couldn’t just peek in on him.

Roman sat up in bed and listened to the conversation in the hall. He loved them so much; loved the fact that they just wanted to be with him. He was very aware of his role in their lives and the feeling was mutual. “Who’s making all that noise out there?”

The door flew open and the twins ran in and dove onto the bed. “Daddy!”

“Hey rugrats…what are you doing home? Are you two playing hooky?”

“It’s snowing Daddy. Almost a foot out there.” The snow. He almost killed himself in the driveway last night.

“Snowday huh? It looks like we’ll finally have that snowman contest.”

“Boys against girls Dad?” Eric asked hopefully.

“No Daddy! I want to be on your team,” Sami cried.

Roman pulled Sami into his arms and kissed her head. “I think we can arrange that, pumpkin.”

Sami smiled and cuddled closer. “Hey Dad, those Cubbies tickets go on sale next week Can we still go?”

“Gee Eric, I don’t think I’m going to be able to get tickets next week.”

Eric looked like he’d just lost his best friend. “Oh… OK Dad…. you have to work again, huh?” Eric’s voice was so soft Roman could barely hear him.

“Yeah little man, gotta work. Good thing , too. Someone has to pay for those box seats in my wallet.”

Eric almost fell off the bed. “Yes!” he screamed. “I knew it! I knew you were kidding. Oh man, box seats!”

“Right on the first base line litte man,” Roman laughed as he gave Eric high-five. “Just you and me.”

Marlena watched silently from the doorway. She could watch him with the kids all day. “So who couldn’t wait to wake Daddy?”

Roman patted the empty space next to him as she walked into the room. “I was awake Doc. Lotta snow?”

She sat down next to him. “Oh yes. Boots and shovels are in the mudporch.”

“Good. Hey you two, go pick up your rooms and give me a few minutes with Mommy, OK.”

They jumped off the bed and Sami leaned over to hug him again. “I’m so glad your home Daddy,” she whispered. “I missed you.”

He squeezed her tight. “Me too.”

Marlena watched them leave and laughed when Eric came running back to pull the door closed. “They’re learning,” she said.

“Yes they are. Did he grow like six inches? Man, he is getting so tall.” Roman leaned back into the pillows and pulled her on top of his chest. He ran his hands down her back. “So where’s my kiss?”

“Right here, ” she said, planting a delicious kiss on his lips.

“Mmm, that’s more like it.”

“Did you sleep OK? I’m sorry the woke you.”

“Hey listen, that’s more sleep then I’ve had at one time in weeks. Did Hope call?”

“Yes, they’re next door. She wants him to recoup at the Horton’s for a few days.”

“Good. I thought he would climb the walls yesterday when Mike said he had to stay.” Bo had suffered a concussion and required 24 hours observation. When Roman called Hope to let her know about Bo, she and Marlena went immediately to University Hospital. They knew the shoulder wound was superficial but the concussion really worried Hope. Roman was able to get to the hospital in the afternoon for a quick visit. Marlena only saw him for a few minutes but she knew how important this case was to him. He’d spent the better part of the day interrogating Rafi and Luis Torres. No one was talking. Yet. They still had to question Eddie, but he was so strung out he had to be admitted to the hospital to come down. Roman would talk to him later, not that it mattered much. They had enough on Rafi from the DEA’s tape to put the whole crew away for a good, long time.

“Are you hungry honey?” Marlena asked.

Roman ran his hands down the back of her robe and pulled on the belt. “I’m always hungry honey!”

“OK, I asked for that. Can I make you something? Eggs, pancakes?”

He bit back a wicked comment on her lousy cooking and shook his head. “Right now we’re going to take a shower.”

He started to climb off the bed and pulled her with him. “I took a shower already, Roman.”

“Without me?” He put on his best pouty-face.

“Sorry…. tonight OK.” He headed toward the bathroom mumbling “promises, promises…” She laughed as she started to make the bed. His clothes were on the floor, his boots thrown in the corner.

It was almost 3:00am by the time he crawled into bed. He had pulled her into his arms and kissed her shoulder. She rolled over to face him and he put his fingers gently on her lips, shaking his head. They had made love without saying a word. The dance had begun.

“Fabulous.”

“The best I’ve ever seen.”

“Who has the camera?” The front lawn was adorned with four of the best snowmen ever made. It was a group effort on the part of the entire Brady clan. Shane and Kim picked up Kayla and brought the kids over to play. He’d been in Washington and wanted details on the Torres case. Bo snuck out of bed and joined the festivities after lunch. Shawn and Caroline had come to see Bo and wound up in Marlena’s kitchen making a pot of stew for dinner. Carrie even hung up the phone and joined the party. The kids had decided to go sledding while the adults took a break. Roman threw another log on the fire while Bo and Shane got more coffee. “Mike wants me to wait until tomorrow to talk to Eddie.”

“I think we should get in there today, before he gets too confident,” said Bo.

“I don’t think we need to worry about that. The uniform outside his door will keep him on his toes.” Roman had been filling Shane in on the bust. It was a major bust for him as well as the Salem PD. Shane knew how closely the Feds watched Roman. The DEA had offered Roman a job two years earlier, to which he said ‘no thanks’. The ISA wanted him back desperately, but Roman would have no part of them . After what Vaughn had done to Marlena it would be a cold day in hell before he ever worked for the government again. Shane had come to him for help several times in recent years, but Roman considered that different: Shane was family.

Shane was impressed. “It sounds like you’ve got the Torres’ clan shut down, Roman.”

“Rafi had his eyes on the prize, Shane. If this had gone on much longer the big boys would have pushed him up.”

“Any leads on who was fronting him here?” Roman and Bo exchanged knowing glances. “Don’t tell me,” said Shane.

“Yup,” said Bo with dripping sarcasm, “it looks like Vic. What a guy, huh?”

Roman knew that, no matter what he said, Bo was disappointed at Victor’s potential involvement. “We don’t know anything for sure. Everyone’s been pretty tight-lipped so far.”

“Any possibility of bail?” asked Shane.

Roman shook his head. “No way. Every PTA in the city has been raising hell about the drugs. Any judge giving Rafi a shot at bail would be crucified.” Just then the kitchen doors opened.

Marlena, Kim, Hope and Kayla came into the living room laughing. “Do you even know what it is?” Kayla asked.

“A vegetable?” Marlena said. Hope and Kim were nearly in tears. “Hey you guys give me a break. I’m trying.”

Roman came up behind her and put his arms around Marlena’s waist. “Don’t worry Doc. You’ve perfected lots of other, more important skills.”

“Behave yourself Commander, we have company.” Marlena slapped his arm as everyone laughed. They hadn’t all been together since Christmas and it was wonderful to enjoy each others’ company. They weren’t just family, they were each others’ closest friends. Shawn and Caroline made enough food for a small army. Tom and Alice joined them for dinner. The house was filled with laughter.

***

He poured her a glass of wine and got himself a beer. The fire was blazing and it gave the room a wonderful glow. He stood with his hand on the mantle, watching the flames. He dredded what he was about to do but there was no other way. He could hear her moving around upstairs and knew she would be down soon. He could smell her perfume before she reached the bottom step. He turned to see her reflection in the firelight. She had changed into a pink negligee. Her hair had grown longer and she left it cascading down her back. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and smiled at him. His breath caught in his throat for a moment. “They’re sleeping.”

“They had a long day.”

She laughed, ” So did we. I can’t wait to see the pictures, those snowmen are beautiful.”

He handed her the glass of wine. “You’re beautiful.”

“Thanks, Commander.” He took her hand and led her to the couch. He sat down and she crawled into his lap. They stayed that way. Watching the fire. “Carrie was so sweet to help Kayla, ” she said as she ran her hands over her chest.

Roman rubbed her back. ” She’s a great kid.” Carrie had gone home with Kayla and was babysitting for Stephanie.

“Do you have to go to the station tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I have to get my gun from review and Abe and I meet the DA at 11:00am.” Roman and Abe were required to hand in their guns after the shooting. Police procedure. Marlena watched the flames dancing toward the heavens. “Doc.”

“Hmmm…”

“I want to talk about the other night.”

“What about the other night?”

“When did the nightmares start again?” Marlena tried to get up but he pulled her back. “I want to talk about this Marlena.”

“I don’t Roman. Please. Just forget about it.”

“Marlena look at me.” she stared down into her glass of wine. He lifted her chin towards him but she pushed his hand away and got up. Roman watched her standing in front of the fireplace, the wine glass shaking in her hand. All he wanted to do was put his arms around her and make her forget but he couldn’t do that – he wouldn’t. If she didn’t talk about it then this would never stop.

“Why are you doing this?” she whispered.

“You know why.”

“Roman… please.” She reached her hand out to him. “Come on, lets go upstairs.”

“No.” He was sitting back on the couch with a beer in his hand, staring at her.

“Come on honey,” she started to walk towards him. He continued to stare at her but didn’t move.

“It won’t work this time Marlena.” She looked at him, sitting there trying to intimidate her, and she started to get just a little angry. Roman watched her face. Her eyes grew darker, her lips pressed together. Good. That’s exactly what he wanted.

” ‘It’ ? What’s ‘It’ Roman?”

“You’re trying to distract me Marlena. You think if we spend the night making love then I’ll forget what happened. I won’t. When was the last time you had that nightmare?”

“I don’t know. I don’t care. I will not be bullied into having this discussion with you. I told you to forget it.”

“I told you I’m not going to forget it. I can’t spend another night listening to you scream, holding you while you shake, and pretend it’s OK.”

Marlena emptied the contents of her glass. “Sorry if I kept you awake, Commander!” She started to walk past him towards the stairs but he jumped up and grabbed her arm.

“No you don’t. We’re not finished.”

“Let go of me!” she was seething now. She pulled her arm away from him. “We haven’t had a night alone in months Roman. All day long I waited for us to be alone and what do you do? You pick a fight with me! Over a stupid dream!”

‘Good for you Doc,’ he thought, ‘keep going’.

“Do you think I want to spend another night screaming? You think feeling like my life is being ripped away from me is fun?!”

“No one is ripping your life away from you sweetheart, I’m here. We’re together.”

“For how long Roman? I feel like I spend every day waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under us! Someone could shoot you or the…. ISA could… come and…. take… and….” she was sobbing so hard she could barely breath. He pulled her towards him and tried to hold her but she pushed him was. She was screaming, hitting him in the chest. “Why Roman? Why did they do that to us? Damnit! I hate this! I hate you! I hate you!”

He picked her up in his arms and kissed her farhead, her cheeks. “I love you so much Marlena. I love you!”

She started to calm down a bit. She lifted her eyes and looked at him. Still crying, she whispered “I know. I love you, too.” He sat her down on the couch and sat on the coffee table, facing her. “I hated Orpheus so much! Why did he do that to us Roman? Why did the ISA do it?”

“Money, bonds….it doesn’t matter, Doc. They will never hurt us again.”

“What about -“

“No Marlena. It will never happen again.”

“You can’t say that Roman.”

“And you can’t live in fear. You’re letting it control you, honey.”

“Letting it… how can you say that?” He took her hands in his.

“Because I see it. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, Doc. Don’t let the fear win. You decide. You call the shots, remember? You need to harness the fear in. Make it work for you, not against you. You can do it.”

She looked at him and saw all the love and faith in his eyes and she believed him… she believed him. He was right. She was stronger then the fear. He saw something change in her expression. A flash of recognition in her eyes. “Marlena no matter what happens, no matter what life brings, I love you. I know you love me. The force has not been created that can ever change that.”

She touched his face as he wiped her tears. He was so beautiful, so warm. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Still hate me?”

“Yes.”

“Prove it.”

Marlena glanced at the clock on the nightstand as she grabbed her shoes. “Let’s go you two. You’re going to miss the bus.” She came down the stairs into the living room to find boots, backpacks, and coats on the floor. “Sami and Eric, let’s go. That bus is going to leave without you.”

The twins came out of the kitchen carrying lunchbags. “Coming, Mommy,” said Sami.

Marlena helped them pull on their boots and coats. She pulled on her own coat and walked the children out. “Will Dad be home for dinner?” Eric asked.

“I think so honey.” Roman had worked most of the weekend but he promised to make it home for dinner. Marlena leaned down to kiss her children as the bus pulled up. “I love you both. Have a great day. Wear that hat, Eric.”

“OK, OK.”

“Love you.”

“Bye, Mommy.” Marlena watched the bus pull away then went back to the house. She was running a bit late but she needed a cup of coffee. She grabbed her mug and the file that she’d been reading. Simon Cole had an appointment today at 10:00am. She wondered if he’d show. He had already canceled three times, but kept rescheduling. She would find out soon enough.

***

Roman sat back and rubbed his eyes. Rafi Torres’ lawyer was in his face again. “The issue of probable cause is blahblahblah….” ‘Shut up,’ thought Roman. ‘You take that scumbags drug money and stand in my office telling me we had no reason to have Torres investigated?’ He’d had enough. “Mr. Davis if you have a problem with the charges facing your client then speak to the DA. You’re wasting my time.”

“Excuse me, Comander Brady. You are paid to serve and protect all members of this community, including-“

“Including the kids your client supplied with drugs. Give it your best shot, Mr. Davis. Torres is going to jail. I can promise you that. Now get out of my office!”

Roman held the door open. Malcolm Davis looked at him with a mixture of admiration and contempt. ‘He certainly is confident,’ thought the attorney. ‘Either way, I’ll get paid.’ There were plenty of clients who would need his expertiese. “Thank you so much for your time Comander Brady.” Davis didn’t even try to conceal his sarcasm. Roman closed the door without a backwards glance.

***

Marlena hung up the phone and looked at her watch. 10:13am. It looked as though Mr. Simon Cole was a no-show again. She was about to put his file back when Hillary buzzed. “Dr. Evans, Mr. Cole is here.”

Marlena was so startled she dropped the file. “OK Hillary. Send him in.”

She stood and walked around the desk. The door opened and the mysterious Mr. Cole entered. Marlena was a bit stunned when she saw him. He was tall and tan. Bright green eyes and wavy blonde hair. A perfect smile. He was gorgeous. Definately not the mental image she had of a man overwhelmed by job stress. He extended his right hand. “Dr. Evans, thank you so much for seeing me. I can’t tell you how sorry I am about the scheduling problems. I hope I haven’t inconvenienced you too much.”

Marlena was impressed by his charm and apparent confidence. She shook his hand. “Not a problem, Mr. Cole. Please sit down and make yourself comfortable. Can I get you something to drink?”

Simon Cole sat in an easy chair and crossed his legs. “No, thank you.” Marlena sat across from him with a note pad in her lap and smiled. “So….” Simon laughed, “…how do we get started.

“Why don’t you tell me why you here?”

“I’m beginning to wonder that myself. I guess I’d been feeling weighed down these past months.” he said. “In my line of work there is rarely time to regroup.”

“What do you do for a living?”

“International financing.”

‘Very open-ended response’, thought Marlena. He could do almost anything.

“I feel a bit awkward about being here now.”

“Why is that?”

“A client of mine commented that I seemed a bit overworked, lately. He suggested I talk to someone. Now I think I’m wasting my time as well as yours, Dr. Evans.”

“My time is never wasted, Mr. Cole. Do you live in Salem?”

He smiled again. “At the moment. I usually live out of my suitcase.”

“That must be difficult,” she said. “Do you have any family?”

“No, none to speak of. It’s difficult in my line of work.”

Marlena found herself watching his hands, his mannerisms. Simon Cole was confident, secure, obviously well-educated. He dressed impeccably; beautiful suit, silk tie, Italian shoes. This was not a man who seemed lonely or overwhelmed by job stress. Marlena definitely sensed there was more to Simon Cole then meets the eye. They continued to discuss trivial things and Marlena noted he revealed nothing about himself. “People who travel that much tend to have a hard time establishing roots. Do you want to settle down, perhaps have more permanence in your life.”

Simon Cole shook his head, “I don’t know. Family life is something I don’t have much experience with I’m afraid. I guess I don’t know what I’m missing.” He looked at the framed pictures on her desk. One was a candid shot of three blonde children laughing. The other was a wedding picture. “You obviously have a family, Dr. Evans.”

“Yes, I do,” she answered.

“Your children?”

“Yes.” Marlena smiled at the recent photo.

“They’re beautiful. They look like you.” Marlena looked at him for a moment. He was staring at her, directly into her eyes.

“Thank you, ” she said. He glanced at his watch.

“Well I see my time is up. I think I’d like to talk to you again, Dr. Evans. I’ll make sure to be on time. Do I make my appointment outside?”

“Yes, Hillary will set that up for you.”

“Thank you so much, Dr. Evans. Have a good day.” She watched him close the door and took a deep breath. Why did she feel as though she had just been interrogated?

***

The door slammed loudly and Roman stamped his feet, shaking snow all over the rug. “Hey little man. How was your day?”

“OK Dad. I got a B on that Science thing.”

“Good job, ” said Roman as he hung up his coat. He sat down on the couch to pull of his boots.

Carrie came down the stairs with the cordless phone in her hand, waved at him, and went into the kitchen.

Roman and Eric could hear Marlena clanging around, dropping the pots and pans. Roman looked over at Eric. “Uh oh,” he laughed. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“She only has to make the pasta. Grandma Alice sent over a pot of sausage and meatballs,” said Eric.

Roman got up to rescue the pots and pans. “Looks like we’re saved again, little man.”

***

He turned out Sami’s light and closed the door. Marlena was sitting on the couch amidst several files, her glasses perched on her nose sipping coffee. He stopped halfway down the stairs to watch her. She was making notes, comparing charts, and then began looking through a huge reference book. ‘She’s definately a contradiction,’ thought Roman. No one would believe it if they knew what the brilliant, sophisticated, refined Dr. Evans had done to him in the shower that morning. She turned to see him watching her. “Asleep?”

“Yup. Carrie is on the phone but promised to finish that report. I told her I’d like to see it when she’s done.”

Marlena laughed. “Good for you. That should get her going.”

“Busy, huh?”

“Just doing some research,” she said as she began to gather the files together. He glanced at the file in her hand. Simon Cole. Something registered in Roman’s head. Simon? Simon Cole? “Do you want some coffee?” she asked.

” Sure. Let me make a fresh pot.”

“Don’t you trust me Roman? I can measure coffee and add water?”

Roman looked at her and smiled sweetly. “Of course I do honey. I just thought I’d let you finish your research. I know how dedicated you career types are.”

“Watch it, Commander.” She handed him her coffee mug. “I’ll take a slice of pie with that refill.”

“Yes ma’am.” Roman said. He looked down again at the file. ‘Who the hell was Simon Cole?’

Three weeks later and Eddie was looking for a deal. He had fired the lawyers sent by the Torres family and was begging to see Roman. The DA wasn’t interested in dealing unless Eddie gave them Torres’ business partner. Abe and Roman knew that Eddie had no idea who the partner was, but they were going to talk with him anyway. Maybe he had something else to give them. “What do you think?” asked Abe.

Roman finished his coffee and grabbed his jacket. “I think it’s a plan Abraham. I think 5 to 15 is a good deal. Let’s see what Eddie thinks.”

***

Marlena threw the remains of her lunch into the garbage and picked up his file again. Simon Cole. International financier. Suffers from job stress. ‘Yeah, right,’ she said to herself. They had just finished their fourth session and Marlena couldn’t figure him out. He was charming and personable. He was one of the most handsome men she’d ever seen. Well-educated and well-spoken. What was he doing in therapy? She had great instincts and something just did not jive with Simon Cole. He revealed nothing in his therapy sessions. They spoke of superficial things and she got the impression on more then one occasion that he was ‘fishing’ for something. Simon had been suttle enough, but she knew when she was being interrogated. Years as a cops’ wife had taught her that. Hillary’s voice came over the intercom. “Dr. Evans…Mrs. Lane is here.”

Marlena put the file away. “Send her in, Hillary.”

***

“We’re late, Doc.” Roman yelled up the stairs. “Let’s get going, honey!”

Marlena was looking for the pearl earrings he had given her for Christmas. She pulled the bottom drawer of the night table open – tada – there they were. “OK, OK….I’m ready.” She came down the stairs in the quintessential ‘little black dress’, hair pulled up, pearls adorning her ears. She was the picture of elegance. She smiled at Roman and reached up to fix his tie. “Not too shabby, Commander.”

He gazed at her from head to toe and smiled. “Not too bad yourself Doc. Maybe we should stay home, huh? Please?”

She punched his chest playfully. “Come on you, we haven’t been out in a while. Everyone’s waiting.”

The Brady siblings were taking Shawn and Caroline out to dinner to celebrate Shawn’s birthday. The grandchildren were planning a surprise party for him; dinner was to be a decoy so he wouldn’t suspect. The kids were making all the arrangements, much to the delight of the adults. “Carrie honey, we’re at Chez Vous,” Marlena called out, ” the number is on the board.”

“OK,” yelled a voice from the kitchen.

“Come down rugrats, say goodnight,” Roman called up to the twins. They both came barreling down the stairs.

“Behave for Carrie now. Bedtime is at 8:30,” said Marlena as she bent to kiss Sami and Eric goodnight.

“Come on Mom, 9:00, please?” pleaded Eric.

“OK, but lights out then, Iittle man, ” said Roman.

“Daddy don’t tell Grandpa anything. It has to be a surprise,” said Sami.

“It will be hard pumpkin, but I’ll try,” Roman laughed, kissing her forehead.

Carrie stuck her head out of the kitchen. “It’s 7:40 you guys, you’re late again. Go! We’re fine.”

“Thanks, baby. We’ll call you around 9:00 OK.” They trusted Carrie completely. It was great to have such a responsible fifteen year old. They left to meet the family, only slightly late.

***

“….so this bugger pulls back, swallowin’ the hook and half the line!” roared Shawn Brady. His dinner companions shared in the laughter of another fish tale. The Brady’s were enjoying a well-deserved night out and Shawn was basking in the attention of his four children.

Bo and Hope were also celebrating his return to work after the shooting. He had been anxious to get back on the job, having just been promoted to lieutenant. After everyone ordered, Marlena excused herself to call the kids. Roman got up as she rose to pull her chair out. “Hurry back,” he whispered. She smiled and nodded. He watched her walk toward the bar and thought ‘great view’. As Roman turned to join the conversation, he noticed a man at the bar rise to greet Marlena. She turned to smile at this tall, blonde stranger and took the hand he extended. As they engaged in conversation Roman could feel his fingers tighten around his drink. ‘Who the hell is that?’ he wondered. The man was laughing as he glanced towards their table. Roman’s heart began to pound in his chest. She was smiling again and then she disappeared. The man sat back down to finish his drink. Roman feel the blood racing through his viens. Marlena had never given him any reason to be jealous; her attention was always on him whether they were in public or at home. His possessiveness was more a result of their history. Still, Roman felt overwhelmed by the anger raging through him. ‘Who the hell is that guy? How does she know him? Why does he look so familiar?’ Kim turned to speak to Roman and he barely heard her. He continued to watch for Marlena. She walked back through the bar, smiled at the man as she brushed whispy bangs from her eyes. Was she flirting with that guy? He stood and pulled out her chair. “Who’s your friend?”

“What? Oh, just someone from the hospital,” she answered.

‘Liar,’ he thought, growing angrier by the minute. Roman had no control over the thoughts racing through his head. All he knew was that he wanted to rip the guy sitting at the bar in half. He sat quietly seething, watching the man finish his drink.

Marlena was speaking to Kim and turned to him. “Don’t you think so, honey? Roman? Roman, what is it?” She could see the muscles in his jaw clenched. Marlena reached out to touch him arm and swore she felt him shaking.

He pulled away and got up. “Excuse me for a minute, Doc.” Roman walked slowly past the bar, making sure he got a good look at Marlena’s mystery man. Chiseled features, broad shoulders. About 6’1″. Maybe 190 lb.. No visible scars or markings. Roman walked through the bar and out the front door. The cold March air hit his face. ‘Breathe Brady. Calm down.’ He walked into the parking lot and leaned against a car.‘What the hell is wrong with me? Jesus, calm down Brady.’ He closed his eyes and allowed the cold night air to fill his lungs, his mind.

Ten minutes later he went back inside and joined his father’s party. The man at the bar paid close attention to the events as they unfolded.

Roman said nothing on the ride home. Marlena tried to engage him in conversation, but soon gave up. Obviously, something was bothering him and he wasn’t in the mood to talk about it. The house was quiet when they got home. She went upstairs to check on the kids while Roman locked up.

She had changed into a nightgown when he came into the bedroom. He walked past her into the bathroom without saying a word. ‘What the hell is going on?’ she thought. She went over the evening’s events in her head. They’d had a lovely dinner with the family. Light conversation. Everybody was in a good mood. So what was wrong with her husband? He looked like he was about to explode. She climbed into bed and listened as he turned on the shower.

Roman let the water pour down over him. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair. Images of Marlena and the man at the bar raced through his mind. ‘Stop!’ he screamed at himself. ‘What’s wrong with me? Don’t do this to her. Stop it!’ He turned off the water and leaned back against the cold tiles.

After a moment, he got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Marlena was leaning against the pillows, watching him as he came out of the bathroom. He said nothing as he changed into a pair of boxers. Roman threw the towel in the hamper and climbed into bed. He rolled over on his side and turned out the light. Marlena sat in the dark and waited. “Roman?” Nothing. “What’s wrong, honey?”

“I’m tired Marlena. I need some sleep.”

“Are you angry with me?”

“No.” She reached out to touch his shoulder. Again, nothing.

“If you want to talk I’m here. OK?”

“OK.”

“I love you, Roman.”

“I love you too, Doc.”

***

He pulled though the gates, up the winding driveway and parked on the side of the house. The front door opened and he walked through the foyer and down the long hallway. He entered the study and poured himself a drink from the bar. “How was your evening?” asked the man sitting by the window.

“Fine. Things went well.”

“Did you see them?”

“Yes. She and I spoke briefly. He spent most of the evening watching me but we did not speak.”

“Do you think he recognized you?”

“Hard to say. Something certainly got him going, though. All in all, I would say my presence had the desired affect. Can I fix you a drink?” Simon Cole Bennett asked his companion.

“Good, good. That’s a start. Yes, pour me a Straga.” said Stephan DiMera as he wheeled himself towards the bar.

Simon entered the dining room and sat down to breakfast. Stephano was wheeled in by his assistant and positioned at the head of the table. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?” asked Simon.

“As well as any other night. Simon we have much to discuss today. I want to know how he looked when he saw you,” said Stephano.

“Angry. She stopped to say hello and he didn’t like it. I found that interesting considering he never gave a damn about any woman.”

“Dr. Evans is not any woman, Simon.” Simon smiled as breakfast was served.

“I know Stephano. I have listened to you rave about the beautiful, intelligent doctor for almost ten years now.”

“And…?” inquired Stephano.

“And you are right. She is certainly beautiful. Intelligent. Elegant. The kind of woman any man would want….”

” …but not just ‘any’ man should have,” finished Stephano.

Simon drank his coffee and pushed his eggs around. “I’m sorry. I just find your fascination with her somewhat puzzling.”

“Why is that?”

“Oh for God’s sake!” Simon dropped his fork and looked at his employer, his mentor, his friend. “The woman tried to kill you! She shot you. You’ve been in that wheelchair for seven years. You will spend the rest of your life trapped in that damn thing and yet you continue to be obsessed with the woman who put you there!”

Stephano shook his head. “She did not put me here. Circumstances beyond her control caused her to act irrationally. She was not responsible for this!” he said, waving his hands towards his motionless legs.

Simon looked away. He was remembering that night. Hearing the gunshots. Dragging Stephano’s lifeless body from the fire and replacing it with the drivers’. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to discuss that night.”

Stephano watched Simon’s mental struggle. He had known Simon since he was a young boy of eleven and could read his moods quite well. They had become even closer these past seven years and Stephano knew Simon resented the woman who, in his eyes, put Stephano in that chair. “Simon I know you do not understand my feelings for Marlena. That cannot deter us from what needs to be done. I want him back and the plans have been set in motion. I expect your complete cooperation. Do you understand me?” Stephano said, more then a little angrily.

Immediately regretting his comments, Simon nodded to Stephano. “Yes, you know you have my cooperation. I’m sorry.”

Anxious to get back on track, Stephano briefed him on the latest report. “It seems the ISA has patched up our friend.”

“That should not have happened, ” Simon said, shaking his head in disgust. “I instructed those guards to make sure he would not escape before the ISA arrived. There was no need to beat the hell out of the man.”

“Well, he has not been the most cooperative charge these past seven years. Perhaps the just wanted to show their appreciation,” Stephano chuckled. “No matter Simon, he survived. The ISA has their most prized possession back. Now it’s my turn.” Simon looked away.

***

Roman got off the elevator and bumped straight into Kayla. “OOPS. Sorry, Kay. What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Working silly. Which leads to my question – what are YOU doing here?”

Roman looked down sheepishly. “I thought I’d hit my wife up for lunch.”

Kayla eyed him for a moment and smiled. “Groveling again, big brother?” She had sensed something was wrong at dinner the night before. Not that Roman had said anything, but she could tell his mood had changed drastically. No one at the table mentioned it but it had been obvious to everyone.

“I guess I wasn’t the best company last night,” Roman said.

“No, no. You were great company. It just seemed like something was bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

“Maybe someday. Right now I need to crawl down the hall. Bye, Sis. Roman kissed her as he left to see his wife.

Hillary smiled when he walked into the waiting room. “Hi Cmdr. Brady.”

“Hi, Hillary. Is she busy?”

“She’s on the phone. Go on in.” Hillary smiled again. She really liked working for Dr. Evans and the frequent glimpses of her sexy husband were an added bonus.

Roman knocked twice and opened the door. Marlena waved him in. “Well, maybe he’ll be back in time. I know. Their so excited. Me, too. OK, bye Kim.” She hung up the phone and put her earring back on. “Hi Commander. What brings you here?” Marlena woke to an empty bed that morning and he had not returned either of her phone calls. She was more then willing to give him space to work out whatever was bothering him; she just didn’t like the way he was treating her.

“What’s up with Kim?” he asked, try to avoid the inevitable for a few more minutes.

Marlena looked at him and looked away. “Shane was called to Washington at 3:00am this morning. Kim hopes he’ll be back for the kids’ surprise party on Sunday.”

Roman nodded. He knew the kids wanted Shawn’s party to be perfect. “He has a few days, I’m sure he’ll make it back.” Marlena got up to pour herself some coffee. “Doc, about last night,” he began.

She poured the coffee and didn’t look at him. “What about it?”

She wouldn’t make this easy, but he knew that. “I’m sorry I was such a grouch. I didn’t mean to ruin your night.” Marlena added cream and sugar.

“My night wasn’t ruined. I had a lovely time. You obviously didn’t so it was your night that was ruined.”

Roman walked up behind her. She still did not turn around, but she could hear his breath in her ear, feel it on her neck. “I’m sorry I was such a jerk,” he whispered. “Please tell me you forgive me. I love you, Doc. I’m sorry.”

She closed her eyes. ‘Damn,’ she thought. ‘How does he do it every time?’ Marlena turned to face him. “Will you tell me what happened?”

Roman put his arms on her shoulders and shrugged. “I just had a lot on my mind. Nothing earth shattering. I shouldn’t let it get to me.”

Marlena looked into his beautiful blue eyes. He was definitely hiding something. “You were fine when we got to the restaurant, Roman. Then, all of a sudden, you were angry. Why?”

He rubbed her arms and said, “Listen, I just have a lot on my mind. Please don’t think I’m angry with you. I’m not. And I don’t want you to be angry with me.”

“I’m not angry with you, Roman.”

He smiled. “OK, prove it. Buy me lunch.”

“What!”

He was laughing now, “Come on, it’s your turn, Doc.”

“OK Commander, give me a minute.” Marlena went to speak to Hillary. Roman walked around her office and smiled at the picture of the kids on her desk. Then he saw it. The file on her desk. Simon Cole. He could feel his chest tighten and it became difficult to breath. He saw the face of the man at the bar and looked down at the file again. Simon Cole. The man was Simon Cole. He reached down to open the file when he heard her coming back. “OK honey, I have about an hour so-“

Roman walked past her towards the door. “Sorry, Doc. Gotta go.” He walked out the door without even looking back, afraid of what would happen if he did not get out of there. Marlena was left standing in the middle of her office wondering what just happened.

***

She looked at the clock again. 12:52am. Marlena had called the stations several times, but he was either unavailable or out. He hadn’t bothered to return any of her calls. ‘That’s it,’ she thought. ‘He’s being selfish now. What if it was an emergency?’ She was not waiting up all night just to be ignored. She turned out the light and rolled over, determined to try to sleep.

Roman came in at 2:30am. He’d gone to the Cheatin’ Heart for a beer and stayed too long. ‘I shouldn’t have driven home,’ he thought as he climbed the stairs. He peaked in on the kids and then stood outside their bedroom door. She was in there, probably sleeping. How could he face her? What would he say? Why was she lying to him? He knew she was lying about Simon Cole. Everytime he closed his eyes he could see her laughing with Simon, smiling, kissing him. ‘Stop!’ he screamed to himself. Too much alcohol had blurred the images in his mind and he had to remind himself that it was only his imagination. Roman quietly opened the door.

She was sleeping. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful. He sat down to pull off his boots. He threw his clothes into the corner and climbed into bed. Sleep. He knew he needed to sleep . He had to get the images of Simon Cole and his wife out of his mind.

Marlena woke an hour later to find Roman lying next to her. He was mumbling something and seemed very agitated. “Roman,” she whispered, rubbing his back.

He flipped over so quickly she couldn’t move before he pinned her arms to the bed. She could smell alcohol on his breath and wasn’t sure he was even awake. “Why? Why are you lying to me? I know you’re lying – I saw you!”

He was inches from her face, speaking in a low, angry tone she had never heard. She was frightened for both of them. Shaking, she tried to move. He tightened his grip. “I saw you laughing with him. Flirting with him. I know your sleeping with him!”

“Roman stop! What are you talking about? Please honey, wake up!” She was crying from fear and pain.

“I’ll kill you! Do you hear me? I swear to God I’ll kill you both!” He was screaming now.

Marlena panicked and began to kick out from under him. “Let me go, Roman! You’re hurting me! Wake up, Roman! You’re hurting me!”

Those three words were like a flash of light in his mind….’You’re hurting me’. He shook his head and looked down at her. “Doc?”

She was crying beneath him and he realized her arms were pinned by his hands. “Oh my god…are you alright? I’m sorry Doc. Are you OK?”

She pushed him away and sat up. Crying harder, she rubbed her arms and she backed away from him.

“Marlena…I’m so sorry…I-“

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” she screamed. He looked at her, crying in the moonlight, and felt his heart breaking. “My god Roman, what’s going on? What are you doing? You hurt me!”

Roman didn’t even feel the tears streaming down his cheeks. “Doc, I’m sorry. I was having a dream and…I don’t know. I thought I was losing you.”

“So you scream in my face and tell me you’re going to kill me!” She had seen how disoriented he had been, but she was too upset to think about that. “For two days you have avoided me or ignored me. Now you wake up at 4:00am in the morning and start screaming that you ‘saw me’ with someone? Why Roman? What’s happening to you?”

He wished he knew. Right then he was more concerned about her and what he had done to her. “I hurt you. Oh Doc, I’m so sorry.” He reached out to comfort her but she shook him off. He looked into her eyes and pleaded, “Please, don’t pull away from me.”

Marlena watched him for a moment. He was everything in the world to her. She felt an indescribable love for this man who was as much a part of her as she was of him. They were both shaking, tears running down their faces. “Roman…” she whispered.

He gently took her into his lap and began to cry on her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I never want to hurt you Doc. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened. I was so afraid.”

Marlena could feel his tears on her skin as she rubbed his back. “What were you afraid of Roman?” she asked.

“Losing you. He was taking you away from me and I was so angry. I had terrible nightmares of you with him.”

Marlena pulled back and looked at her husband. “Him?” she asked. “Roman, who?”

“Simon. Simon Cole,” he whispered. Marlena didn’t know what to say. What did Simon Cole have to do with her and Roman?

“Do you know Simon?”

“I’m not sure, Doc,” he whispered. He rubbed his head as if to wipe away his pounding headache. She could see he was in no shape to discuss this.

“You’ve been drinking Roman. Where were you?”

“The Cheatin’ Heart.” Roman had a beer now and then, but Marlena couldn’t remember ever seeing him drunk. She wasn’t sure if he was now, but they could discuss it tomorrow.

“Why don’t we get some sleep and figure this out in the morning. OK?”

“OK, Doc.” Roman laid back and pulled her into his arms. She lay there, listening to his heart beating, while he rubbed her back. “I love you so much, Marlena. Please don’t leave me, ” he whispered.

Marlena picked up her head and looked at him. “Never. I’ll never leave you, Roman.”

“No matter what?” he asked.

“No matter what.”

***

Shane Donavon sat at the long conference table, glaring at Chief Tarrington, head of the ISA. He had been up all night going over the files spread out in front of him. “This must be some sick joke. How the hell could you let this happen?” Shane yelled.

Tarrington had expected Shane to be upset but the ISA needed his cooperation. “Shane, you are aware of the corruption that existed within the agency in 1986. Vaughn allowed things to get out of control. I’m still cleaning things up. Please understand, we could not do anything about this situation until we were sure.”

“You had doubts, damnit! You had doubts from the beginning and no one said a thing!”

Tarrington shook his head. “What could we say Shane? The original fingerprints were gone, the DNA files were gone, and he knew enough to make it possible. It was safer to let everyone believe it and see what happened. We weren’t sure who was involved.”

Shane jumped up. “You knew it was DiMera! No matter who the other players were, you knew Stephano DiMera was alive and that he was involved. To let the Brady’s believe this for six years… my god, you are insane! How am I supposed to tell my wife, her family…. Marlena? What am I supposed to tell Marlena?!”

Tarrington knew the ISA had made a terrible mistake. Shane was right, what could they say? “When we return to Salem I will tell -“

“The hell you will!” interrupted Shane. “I will tell them everything. They deserve the truth, not some watered-down version the ISA concocted.”

Tarrington knew how Shane felt about the Brady family and about Roman and Marlena. He could see how difficult this would be and decided they should get it over with. “We will leave later today,” said Tarrington.

“No, the children have planned a surprise party for Shawn tomorrow. We can do this Monday.”

Tarrington shook his head. “No Shane. This has to be done today. Too much has happened to put this off any longer.”

Shane sat back down and ran his fingers through his dark curls. “Why?” he asked. “Why did Vaughn do this?”

Tarrington sat across from him again. “Apparently he wanted to see if this man had the information on the bonds in Stockholm. Perhaps Vaughn would have revealed the truth if Orpheus hadn’t gotten involved. We’ll never know, now.”

Shane sighed. “No, I don’t suppose we will.” He picked up one of the files in front of him. “John Black was a name he took off a wall plaque. How do you explain this?”

“Petrov must have put the plaque there, knowing the name would strike a chord in him.”

Shane shook his head as the door opened. In walked a man with a face Shane thought he would never see again. He was walking with a cane now. His arm was wrapped in a bandage and he had a two inch scar under his right eye. Still, the man was unmistakable. ‘How could we not know?’ thought Shane.

“Hello Shane.”

“Hello Roman.”

Marlena had been awake for almost an hour. Roman had not been in their bed when she opened her eyes but she could hear him downstairs. She stared at the door, going over the events of the past few days and weeks in her mind. The Torres’ case was winding down. The trial would not begin for a few monthes. Marlena knew that case was important to him, but it wouldn’t cause the mood swings he was experiencing. She couldn’t even imagine what had caused his earlier outburst. ‘What’s going on Roman? How do you know Simon Cole? Why does he frighten you?’ She remembered the look in his eyes as he accused her. She had never seen anything like it. It was as if he was someone else. Marlena felt a cold chill run down her spine and she jumped when she heard the soft knock at the door.

“You awake?” asked Roman as he stuck his head in.

“Mmm-hmm. Come in. Do I smell coffee?”

“Yes, you do and some famous Horton donuts. She just dropped them off.” Roman was carrying a tray with a pot of coffee, two mugs, and a plate of donuts. He sat the tray over her lap. “Did you sleep OK?” he asked.

“Did you?”

Roman shrugged. “I guess I didn’t really try.”

She smiled up at him. “How’s your headache?”

“It’s better.” He looked down at her arms and could already see the beginnings of two ugly bruises.

“Oh…god…Doc.” He sat down on the bed and reached out to touch her left arm. She pulled away slightly. “It hurts?” he asked. She did not look at him.

“It’s fine, Roman.”

He put his head in his hands. “Shit! I can’t believe this. I can’t believe I hurt you. Damnit!” He got up and began to pace. She watched him walk back and forth, quietly cursing himself, trying to calm down.

“Come here Roman.”

“No Doc,” he started walking towards the door, “I’ve got to get out of here before I…I have to go. I’ll call you.”

She would not allow him to do this. There would be no more running away. “Don’t you dare! Don’t you walk out on me Roman!”

He stopped and leaned his head on the doorframe. He could not look at her as he spoke. “I hurt you, Doc. I can’t stay here. Please let me go.”

Marlena was not sure where the conversation was going. “What are you talking about Roman?”

He said nothing.

“Are you leaving as in ‘leaving me’?”

Roman knew she was crying before he opened his eyes to look at her. He turned and rested his back against the door. “I can’t stay here Marlena. I think maybe we should take some time to figure this out.”

She was staring at him, shaking her head. “You can’t be serious. A few hours ago you made me promise to never leave you and now you’re telling me ‘we need time’? What’s going on here, Roman?”

He slid down the wall and sat on the floor, staring back at her. “I hurt you,” he whispered.

“It’s over!” she yelled at him. “It happened while you were having a nightmare; you stopped as soon as you realized what was happening. I saw your face Roman. I don’t think you were even awake! You didn’t plan it and it’s over. We have to talk about this and get past it. Running away is no answer.”

He was shaking his head in disagreement. “No, no…that’s my point. I did this in my sleep. I wasn’t even aware of what I was doing! Jesus Doc, what would happen next time?”

Marlena reached out her hands to him. “There will be never be a next time. Come here.” Roman didn’t move. “Do you love me?” she asked.

“Doc, how can you-“

“DO YOU LOVE ME?”

“More then anything in this world…”

She smiled. “Then come here, please.” He slowly got up and walked over to the bed. She patted the empty space next to her and he sat down, still not looking at her. Marlena reached up to run her fingers through his hair, down his cheek. His eyes were closed as she took her thumb and, in a gesture that was his, wiped a tear from his eye. He took her hand and held it to his cheek, kissing her palm. “How can you even touch me?” he asked.

“One of the greatest pleasures in my life is touching you,” she whispered. “I love you more then I can say, Roman Brady. Nothing changes that. We have to talk about this.”

Roman looked into her eyes. “I’m so ashamed, Doc. I don’t know what to say. I was drinking and came home and freaked out on my wife. I see guys in jail every day for the same thing.”

Marlena’s heart broke for him. “Honey, listen to yourself. You did not come home in a drunken rage and beat me! You and I both know something has been going on with you for a few days now. I’ve never seen you drunk in all the years I’ve known you. Something triggered the nightmare and that violent outburst. Can you remember what?” Roman finally looked down at her arms again as the tears filled his eyes. Marlena lifted his chin. “Don’t look at them, Roman. Look at me. Tell me why Simon Cole upset you.” Roman froze when he heard the name. He had to fight the urge to run from the room. “Do you know him, Roman?”

“I’m not sure. I know he was in the bar at Chez Vous.”

Marlena nodded. “Anything else? Why did you go to the Cheatin’ Heart?”

The images were racing through his mind. “You were talking to him, laughing, kissing him…” Roman was shaking.

She took his face in her hands. “No, Roman. No! I never kissed him. He is my patient. I said hello to him, that’s all.”

Roman nodded, “I know, I know you didn’t really kiss him. But when I close my eyes I see it. I see him taking you away from me. I went to the Cheatin’ Heart because I was afraid to come home. I feel so….” Marlena watched his face.

“You feel so ….what, Roman. How does that image make you feel?”

“Angry, afraid…like I want to kill someone,” he said with his eyes closed. He was trying so hard to stay in control and she could see it was a struggle for him. “Honey it’s OK to feel that way,” she said, rubbing his back. “If I thought someone was taking you away from me I’d be angry and afraid, too.”

“But you would never hurt anybody, Doc.”

She laughed. “Don’t be so sure, Commander. I’ve seen more then a few women checking you out. They were lucky you didn’t notice them.”

He smiled. “I never notice anyone but you. I could never want anyone but you, Doc.” He ran his hand gently over cheek. She touched his lips.

“I will never want anyone but you. I could never make love to anyone but you, don’t you know that Roman? No matter what, there will never be anyone but you.” Roman watched, mesmerized, as she picked up the tray and put it on the floor. She turned back to him, running her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer. “You know that, don’t you…” she whispered as they lay back into the pillows.

“Never anybody else…” he whispered back as he leaned in to kiss her.

***

Stephano was hanging up the phone as Simon walked into the living room. “Anything yet?” he asked.

“Shane Donovan has been in Washington since yesterday morning. I’m sure he knows everything now. A plane is scheduled to leave ISA headquarters this afternoon. They will be in Salem tonight.”

Stephano wheeled himself into the center of the room and waved Simon towards the sofa. “Please sit down. We must discuss our next move.” Simon reluctantly sat down. Stephano watched him for a moment. “What is it, Simon? I thought you missed John. You and he were like brothers. You grew up together. Partners in everything. After all these years of waiting to get him back, why do I get the impression you’d rather leave him here?”

Simon looked out the window. He wasn’t sure he could put what he was feeling into words. “I have missed him, Stephano. From the time you found me until he disappeared, he was my idol. I would have laid my life down for him and he would have done the same for me.” Stephano smiled at the memory of his two proteges. They had been inseparable for twenty years.

“So what is it, Simon? Why don’t you seem anxious to have John back?”

“He is not John!” Simon rose from the couch and walked towards the windows. “He is not the man I remember. I have seen him with her and her children, Stephano. He is different now. He loves her. They are a family.” Simon looked out over the hills. He could feel that twinge of jealousy so familiar to him when he thought of John’s life as Roman Brady. They used to laugh at men like that. ‘Law abiding citizens with a bitchy wife, obnoxious kids, and a beat up station wagon.’ Simon and John were mercenaries. They worked for one of the most powerful men in the world. They could go anywhere, do anything, have any women they wanted. Yes, they handled the dirty work, but the did it with style. Simon was the lover, John was the fighter. Together they were invincible. Simon had missed him terribly at first, especially since Stephano was confined to bed again. When it was discovered that Petrov had double-crossed Stephano is was Simon who put the bullet into the traitor and dumped him into the Salem River. No one knew Petrov was planning to steal John away after all the work they had done. Simon closed his eyes…..

October 21, 1985 They were over seven months into their latest plan and it was all coming together. Stephano was recovering from his injuries and, though he would remain paralyzed, he was becoming his old self. Roman Brady had been their prisoner for almost a year. John had committed most of Roman’s life to memory. He would be ‘discovered’ in a Caribbean hospital at Christmastime, wrapped in bandages, wearing Roman’s wedding ring and carrying his wallet.

It was perfect. Richard Cates had done enough damage to Marlena Brady’s confidence that she would believe almost anything. Her long-lost husband would returnwith a new face, but he would be the same loving, devoted cop he always was. For as long as necessary. She would buy into the whole thing. It would be too irresistible. John had balked at the plan at first.

“Go to hell, Stephano. I’m not doing it. If you think I’m going to babysit your obsession for you you’re crazy. Turn Simon into Roman Brady. He’s the lover, not me” It took Stephano weeks to convince John that he was the right man. Months of planning tuned to perfection, then all hell broke lose….

“Simon, look at me,” said Stephano, pulling him back into the present. Simon turned to look at his mentor. They had grown even closer these past six years. With only Simon to really trust, Stephano looked for his consult in everything.

Part of Simon truly reveled in being the ‘favorite son’. What would happen when John returned? “I know this has been hard on you,” Stephano continued. “He does not know who he is. When he is back, the the real John returns to us, this will be but a distant memory. You know what has to be done. Once we find out when and where you will have to act quickly. Do you understand?”

“Yes sir, I understand.”

***

The ISA plane was headed to Salem by 5:00pm. Shane Donovan, Chief Tarrington, and Roman Brady were all on board. They were accompanied by three field agents. Roman sat across from Shane, staring out the window. “Kimberly is calling the family. They should all be at my house at 8:00pm. I am going to need some time to speak to Ro…John and Marlena first. The family can be told after I’ve spoken with them.”

Tarrington nodded his agreement. “Yes, it would be best to talk to them first. It’s sure to be a difficult situation for them.” Shane turned to Roman, who had not said anything since leaving Washington, and was struck by the expression on the mans’ face. It was as if he was cursing the clouds. His eyes were dark, his face drawn. He was nothing like Shane remembered.

“Roman, are you prepared for this?”

Roman turned to look at the man who was once his friend, still his brother-in-law. “I’ve been preparing for this for over seven years, Shane.”

Shane saw something in him that was almost…menacing. Seven years as Stephano DiMera’s prisoner had taken its’ toll on the happy, light-hearted man Shane knew. The man sitting across from him was a stranger in every way. Shane could not imagine how devastated the Brady’s were going to be. The Roman in their lives was an anchor for the family. Shawn was so proud of his eldest son.

Caroline had looked to him to hold the family together on several occasions. Kim and Kayla relied on their big for advice and he had always been there for them. And Bo. Shane had watched Bo grow from a cocky, arrogant kid into a strong, self-assured man and an extremely skilled police officer. Bo and his ‘big brother’ were best friends. The relationship that existed between them was the result of what had grown over the past six years. Shane closed his eyes. Marlena. He was about to destroy the lives of her and her three children. Images of Roman and Marlena over the past six years played in his mind.

They were incredible together. There were times when he envied that love. He had used them as a mental image of happiness at a time when he and Kim almost gave up. He could remember Kim saying ‘Look at what my brother and Marlena have survived. If they can come through all that and still love each other so much…’ And they certainly loved each other. They were wonderful parents, raising great kids. Shane shook his head as if to escape the images in his mind. Their love had cost another man everything. He opened his eyes to find Roman staring at him. As if he knew what Shane was thinking, Roman turned to speak to Tarrington.

“You’ll take him back with you?” Tarrington cleared his throat.

“We will discuss that later.” Shane saw that Tarrington was avoiding something.

“Take who, Chief?” Shane asked.

“I want him, ” said Roman. “You promised me I could have him and I’m holding you to that Tarrington. You owe me.” Shane knew something was going on.

“What are you talking about, Roman?” Roman ignored Shane’s question and went back to staring out the window. Tarrington looked at Shane.

“You are aware that we will need to take John into custody.”

“What? Why? You said yourself he is not consciously aware of this. How can you take him in? That’s not going to work, Chief,” Shane said, trying to stay calm.

“Not ‘consciously aware’ Shane?” interjected Roman.

“Do you call keeping me prisoner, watching as guards beat me not being ‘consciously aware’ Shane? He handcuffed me to a chair and made me watch a tape of my wife in bed with Richard Cates. In my bed, Shane. They shot me up and watched me go through withdrawal until I told them the names of all my grade school teachers. They didn’t give me any water until I told them Carrie’s favorite color. He would wake me up every fifteen minutes to ask me what my wife liked in bed.” Roman never blinked as his listed John’s atrocities to Shane. Abruptly, Roman stopped and looked out the window again. “That son-of-a-bitch is mine.”

Shane did not know what to say. He knew from the files that Roman had suffered terribly, but hearing him say it was awful. He could not fathom that the man living in Salem was the same man who had done those things to Roman. He suddenly felt so guilty for living the lives they had led these past years while Roman was suffering so much. Still, he had to speak for the man in Salem, the man he still thought of as a friend. “Tarrington, you saw the files. Petrov and that KGB doctor drugged him. Took all his memories.

When he came to Salem as the Pawn he had no idea what had happened. These past six years have not been a criminal conspiracy. Not as far as he is concerned.” Shane could hear Roman laughing.

“We will see what happens, Shane. I cannot promise you anything,” said Tarrington.

Shane looked at both men and put his head in his hands. ‘God help us……’

Bo slammed the door as he entered Roman’s office. “Hey Bro, I got your message. What’s up?” Bo grabbed a chair, flipped it around, and sat down. Roman had been going over the Torres case all afternoon, trying to take his mind off what had happened earlier. He wanted to see if perhaps they were missing something, anything that could give them Torres’ partner in Salem.

Roman looked up at Bo. “Have a seat.”

Bo laughed, “Thanks. Torres’ files? Whatcha got?”

Roman shook his head. “Nothing Bo. Nothing that can prove Victor was working with Rafi Torres.” Roman watched his brother’s face. Would Bo be disappointed? Relieved? Roman couldn’t tell if Bo was even sure how he felt.

Bo looked down at the floor. “Well, I guess my old man covered his tracks pretty good, huh? Not surprising though. He always finds a way to get over.”

“Hey Bo, we were guessing here,” said Roman. “I can think of half a dozen shady characters who could have been fronting for Rafi. We can’t blame everything on Kiriakis.” Roman knew that Victor’s ‘questionable’ business practices were a sore spot for Bo. Even though Bo had no real relationship with his biological father, living in the same town with him was not easy. Especially since was moving up in the Salem PD.

“Yeah, well…” mumbled Bo. They turned towards the door as Hope knocked once and stuck her head in.

“Hi guys. Kim called. She wants us to come by tonight.”

Bo looked at Roman. “Did she say why?”

Hope shook her head, “No, not really. She just said Shane needed to see the family. It sounded important, though.”

Roman leaned back in his chair. “I know Shane got called to D.C. I wonder what’s up.” The three stared at each other for a moment when the phone rang. Roman picked it up. “Brady here. Hey, Doc…yeah. I don’t know. Hope and Bo are here now. OK. I’ll see you later. I love you, too.”

Hope smiled as Roman hung up the phone. “Let me guess.”

“Yup. She got Kim message, too. I guess we’ll find out what the big mystery is tonight.”

*****************************************

Kayla was at the Nurses’ Station when Marlena got off the elevator. “Hi Kay. Are you finished yet?”

“Yes. Just let me get my bag. Are you sure Carrie doesn’t mind?”

“Not at all,” said Marlena. “She and Lori are renting a movie. Stephanie is no trouble.” Carrie and her friend were watching the twins and Stephanie while the Brady’s went to Donovan Manor. Marlena knew the little ones would sleep and Carrie wouldn’t mind watching Stephanie.

“What’s going on, Marlena? What’s this all about?” asked Kayla.

Marlena shrugged. “I have no idea. Your mother called earlier to see if I knew anything. Kim had said that Shane was called to Washington quite early the other day. I can’t imagine what’s going on.”

Kayla smiled, “Well, let’s go find out.”

**************************************

Kimberly Donovan opened the front door for the third time in ten minutes. “Hi, come on in,” she said, kissing her brothers and sister-in-law ‘hello’ . They walked into the living room to join the others.

Shane walked into the room as the Brady’s greeted each other. “Hello everyone.”

They all turned at once. “Hey Govn’r. What’s going on?” asked Bo.

“Thank you all for coming over on such short notice,” continued Shane. “I know you’re all wondering why you’re here. I need to speak to Roman and Marlena first. Why don’t you all have some tea and I’ll be back in a bit. Roman and Marlena, could you come with me?”

Everyone watched as the trio left the room. Something was obviously going on with Shane. “What’s going on here, Kimber? Shane seemed pretty upset.”

Kimberly shook her head. “I have no idea Bo. He came home an hour ago and has been in his office ever since. I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

Bo walked over to the entrance and looked down the hallway. He had a bad feeling about this.

Roman reached for Marlena’s hand and shrugged at her questioning look. They had followed Shane into his office and closed the door. “OK Shane, what’s going on?” asked Roman.

“You’ve certainly got everyone’s curiosity piqued now, Shane,” said Marlena. She could see how nervous he was and she was starting to become a bit nervous herself.

“I’m sorry for all the secrecy. I just felt is necessary to discuss this with the two of you first. Please, sit down,” said Shane as he gestured towards the chairs.

Roman and Marlena looked at each other in silent conversation. ‘What’s going on?’

‘I don’t know. Don’t be scared. I love you.’

‘OK. I love you, too.’ They sat across from Shane’s desk as he reached into his briefcase and pulled out a file.

Shane sat and looked at the file, then he looked up. “I cannot tell you how difficult this is for me. If there were any other way, any doubts….”

Roman squeezed Marlena’s hand as his chest began to tighten. “What’s in that file, Shane?”

“Ro…you both know that the ISA faltered a great deal under Vaughn’s leadership in 1985 and 1986. Many mistakes were made as he followed his own corrupt agenda. Files were lost, stolen or sold to the highest bidder. When the ISA discovered that a man known as ‘The Pawn’ was up for sale, Vaughn had a good idea who that man really was. It turns out he was wrong.”

Marlena looked at Shane, then at Roman. Roman never took his eyes off Shane, but never said a word. “What are you talking about, Shane? He was wrong about what?” she asked.

“He was wrong about the identity of ‘The Pawn’.”

Roman was holding her hand so tight she thought her fingers would break. “Wrong? Shane I saw the picture of Roman in that file. The ISA verified his fingerprints, his DNA. What the hell are you talking about? Honey?” she looked at Roman and tried to loosen his grip on her hand. She could see his face had paled, his jaw was clenched. “Roman, say something.”

Roman stared at Shane. “They have my fingerprints. They took DNA samples. Why do they think there’s a mistake Shane?”

She could not believe how calm his voice was. Too calm. Shane looked from Marlena back to the man in front of him.

“Roman Brady’s fingerprints were deleted from the ISA databank, as were the DNA samples. All the paper copies were gone. Any information concerning Roman Brady was erased from the back-up files at headquarters. When you two were found in West Virginia, the ISA had nothing on Roman Brady. No physical way to identify him. Every bit of classified identification vanished. Even the Salem PD’s fingerprints of Roman were gone. No one had anything to compare your fingerprints or DNA to Roman’s. It wasn’t a matter of proving you were Roman Brady…no one could prove you weren’t. As you know, you have the same bloodtype. It is now believed that the paternity test done in 1986 was falsified by Vaughn.”

Marlena could not understand what Shane was trying to say. “Hold on, Shane. The ISA took blood from Shawn and did that paternity test. They confirmed what we already knew. Roman was back. He is Back! What are you telling us?”

Shane stood up and came around the desk. “I know how hard this must be for you both. We believe Vaughn never ran the paternity test. Please listen to me. Vaughn knew that The Pawn had amnesia. The memories coming back to him were Roman’s memories. The Pawn remembered the Ranger Station in West Virginia and where the posters were hidden. Vaughn apparently believed The Pawn also knew where the bonds were hidden in Stockholm. We now believe that Vaughn wasn’t sure who The Pawn was and didn’t care. He was more interested in the bonds at that point. Then Orpheus got involved and that was that.”

Roman still had not looked at Marlena, nor had he let go of her hand. “Exactly who is ‘we’?”

Shane looked at them both for a moment. ‘God help us all.’ He walked to the door behind his desk.

Marlena pulled at Roman’s hand. “Honey, what is it? Look at me. Roman, what’s going on?” The door opened and in walked Chief Tarrington followed by three field agents. Roman let go of her hand and stood as they entered the room, but said nothing. Tarrington looked at them both.

Shane introduced Marlena to him. “Hello Marlena. I’m sorry we’re meeting under these circumstances.” Marlena stood up and moved slightly behind her husband, neither of them saying anything.

“Please understand,” began Shane, “if there were any other way…” With that, the door to the private room behind Shane’s office opened wider and he entered the room. He was using a cane in his right hand and walking with a slight limp. His dark curls were cut short, his skin a grayish color as if he had not been outside in ages. There was a fresh scar underneath his right eye. She felt like she was standing above the room, watching the events unfold. She heard herself gasp as she looked at his face. Whoever operated on this man did a damn good job.

“Shane, what is this? Who is he?” she heard herself ask as she pulled her husband closer.

Bo was staring into the fireplace, wondering what was going on in Shane’s office. Everyone was having tea and making small talk. Hope came up behind him. “Hey Brady. What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking I’d like to go down that hall and see what’s going on in there. I have a real bad feeling, Fancyface.”

Hope looked towards the door. “OK. Go ahead. I’ll watch in here.”

“Are you sure, Hope?”

She nodded, “Yes. I think you’d better see what’s going on. I have that same bad feeling.”

Bo looked over the room and nodded his agreement. He walked into the hallway, paused for a minute, and then headed towards Shane’s office. He could hear loud voices as he got closer. “You people are crazy! What do you think this is?” Bo could hear Marlena yelling.

“Marlena please. Listen to what we are saying. I know this is difficult but let me explain,” said Shane. Bo stopped outside the door and waited, listening.

“Stop telling me to ‘listen’ Shane! I don’t want to hear anymore lies! You’re telling me that that man is Roman Brady? That there was a conspiracy in 1986 to make us believe some stranger was my husband? Why should we believe anything the ISA says? It’s not like they’ve been honest with us in the past. Roman…say something!”

Bo began to panic and he opened the door. “What’s go….” his voice stopped. Before him stood a man with a face he thought no longer existed. “What the…Govn’r who is this guy? What’s going on here? Who the hell are you?” Everyone stopped for a moment and stared at the man holding the cane; he had not spoken since entering the room. “Did you hear me? I said who the hell are you?” screamed Bo.

“Roman Brady. I’d say ‘nice to see you too, Bo’….but I guess under the circumstances that wouldn’t be appropriate, huh little brother?”

“That’s a lie!” said Bo, advancing towards him. Shane stepped in front of Bo.

“Listen to me, Bo. It’s true. The ISA made a mistake in 1986. Bo, please listen to me…”

Bo turned to Marlena and the man standing next to her. “OK Govn’r. Then who is that, huh? Tell me the ISA’s brilliant explanation!”

Marlena had been avoiding the man with the cane, trying not to look at him. As soon as he spoke their eyes locked. His voice. She heard that voice for months after she thought Roman had died. ‘That is the true season of love….’ Shane looked at Bo, then at Marlena.

Tarrington began to explain. “This man is John Black. He had been Stephano DiMera’s right-hand man before he was kidnapped and turned into an amnesiac known as The Pawn.” Marlena and Bo both shook their heads, speaking at the same time.

“No, no way…” “He is Roman Brady.”

“Do you think I don’t know my own husband?”

“This whole thing is nuts, man!”

“Shane, please stop this now,” pleaded Marlena as the man next to her stepped forward.

Eyes locked on his alter-ego, he spoke only to him. “What’s going on? What are you doing here?” Roman Brady laughed. “I bet you never thought you’d see me again, did you Black? I told you I’d hunt you down, make sure you paid for what you did to me, you lousy son-of-a-bitch!” Visions began racing through his mind…

….someone is handcuffed to a chair, screaming….a videotape ends…….Marlena is laughing, kissing Simon Cole….a voice saying “It’s perfect, she’ll believe the whole thing”…..I am Roman Augustus Brady…..you can do it, John…..”It won’t be for long” “We’ll get you out.”…..I am Roman Brady……

“No, no, no….” he closed his eyes as he heard the collective gasp from the hallway. The Brady’s had heard the yelling and were standing in the open doorway, watching the latest exchange. Everyone began to react at once.

“Oh my God!”

“Saints praise us, what’s goin’ on in here?”

“Who is that?”

“Roman?”

“Look at his face!” “Shane, what’s going on?”

Tarrington spoke first. “Everyone please. We will explain everything. Let’s move into the living room, shall we?”

Two ISA agents walked up to either side of him. He realized they were going to cuff him. He looked around the room and caught Bo’s eye. Amidst the noise and confusion he made his silent plea, ‘Help me, little brother!’

Without a word, Bo threw a punch at the biggest guy and grabbed Marlena while he shoved the other one over the desk and ran out the door. “Roman!” Marlena screamed as the agents scrambled to their feet to chase after him. She closed her eyes, finally feeling the tears that had been running down her cheeks. ‘God keep him safe. Bring him home to me.’

Marlena leaned back into the sofa and closed her eyes. She had been watching the phone since midnight when she and Kayla came back to the house to stay with the kids. The events of the previous night had been playing over and over in her mind….

“Get him!” yelled the man the ISA said was Roman.

Marlena rubbed her eyes. “No, he is not Roman,” she said aloud.

The ISA agents and Chief Tarrington went running after him. Shawn and Caroline walked up to the man.

“Oh my word,” said Caroline. “It can’t be true.”

“Saints be, is it you , son?” asked Shawn.

“Yeah, it’s me, Pop.”

Caroline was crying. “How can this be, Shane? How could this have happened?”

Bo put his arms around Marlena. “It’ll be OK,” he whispered. “They won’t hurt him.”

Kim, Kayla and Hope stood in the doorway. “Shane, please tell us what’s going on,” said Kim.

“Let’s move into the living room, please,” said Shane, trying to bring some calm back to the group in his office.

Marlena looked at the phone again. 5:10am. Why haven’t they called? Have they found him? Is he OK? She closed her eyes again. God keep him safe. Bring him home. She heard the kettle whistle in the kitchen and then it stopped. Kayla was making more tea. Why not? It wasn’t like anyone could sleep….

“Please understand, we did not realize exactly what had happened until a little over two weeks ago,” explained Shane as the family moved into the living room. Marlena and Bo had gone to the front door but Shane had asked them to come back. The man the ISA said was Roman walked over to the fireplace and stared into the flames. “The ISA received information that a man fitting Roman Brady’s description, the description before 1986, was on an island off the Yucatan Peninsula,” continued Shane. “Circumstances made it necessary to follow that lead.”

“What circumstances?” asked Hope.

Shane looked at Marlena and then looked away before speaking. “When Marlena and The Pawn went to West Virginia the ISA, or rather Vaughn, had a good idea who the man really was. When Marlena found that file with Roman’s picture and the man had some of Roman’s memories the ISA went with popular opinion. Vaughn handled the paternity test and the results, confirming that the Pawn was Roman Brady. Tarrington, as well as several other vice-chairmen, had doubts. Some senior agents who had worked closely with Roman never believed he was The Pawn. They believed he was a man known as John Black, Stephano DiMera’s right-hand man in Europe. Black had disappeared sometime in the Fall of 1985.”

The Brady’s looked at each other, speechless. How could this be happening.Could they have been so wrong all this time?

“Wait a minute, Govn’r,” said Bo, “what happened to Roman after he fell off the cliff and I went for help? I left him on the beach.”

Shane looked over at the man in front of the fireplace. “Perhaps he should tell you himself. Roman, would you?”

He turned to look at the people staring at him. His family. The people who welcomed that bastard Black into their homes, their hearts, their bed….damn her. “Stephano took me off the beach, Bo. I woke up a few days later at his compound on an island called San Cristobal. I’ve been there until a little over two weeks ago when the ISA rescued me.”

Kayla walked over to him. She reached out to tentatively touch his face, his arm. “Roman? What did they do to you?” she asked.

Half-smiling at his baby sister’s return, he said “Lot’s of things you don’t want to know about Kay. I’m OK. The leg is just a bit banged up, that’s all.” Kinberly, Caroline and Shawn all moved closer and began talking.

“Maybe you should sit down, dear.”

“Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?”

Marlena, Bo and Hope made no move towards him. “Shane, you said that all the copies of Roman’s fingerprints and DNA were gone. How do you know this man is Roman?” asked Marlena. That got everyones’ attention. Roman shook his head and went back to the fire. Not paying attention to him, she continued. “What makes you think he is Roman? Come on, Shane. The ISA has been lying to us for years. What do they want now?”

Shane picked up the file he had been holding. “In here are two more paternity tests, done last week. The ISA ran new paternity tests on Shawn with each man. Shawn came up as the father for one.”

“Wait a minute,” interrupted Shawn. “I ain’t gave you people no blood samples.” Shane looked at his father-in-law, feeling guilty for the deceit played on him.

“You all gave blood at St. Luke’s Blood Drive ten days ago, Shawn. Samples were taken from you and John Black.” Caroline gasped. Shawn’s Irish temper flared.

“Well now, ain’t that dandy! The ISA got the Church doin’ their dirty work !”

“Calm down, dear,” said Caroline. Shane shook his head.

“No Shawn. The ISA just took advantage of the situation and got the samples. It happened to be good timing.”

“Do another test, Shane. Right here. In front of all of us,” said Bo.

“I’ll make sure that it’s done as soon as Tarrington gets back, I promise.”

He spoke quietly. “Don’t make that promise, Shane. John Black will never consent to any test, that is if he ever comes back. My guess is he’s long gone.”

Marlena shot him a look of contempt. “Excuse me? What do you mean ‘long gone’?” she asked, addressing him for the first time.

“Well, hi honey. It’s nice to see you, too,” he said sarcastically. “I mean he’s gone. It’s no accident that the ISA found me. DiMera wants his number one boy back. I’m here as a diversion for him. A way to escape the lie he’s been living.”

Bo put his arms around Marlena, trying to calm her shaking body. “It’s OK. That’s not true. He’ll be back, Marlena . He’d never leave you, you know that.” The man looked away in disgust, mumbling something under his breath. Tarrington entered the room, looking more then a bit annoyed.

“That was a mistake, Lt. Brady. You should not have interfered. I’m afraid Mr. Black is gone for the moment.”

“Good for him,” said Bo. “This whole thing is bullshit!”

“What do you mean,” asked Marlena as she stepped forward. “Gone for the moment?” The three field agents entered the room, each on a celphone.

“An APB has been placed on John Black. All roads will be checked. All flights will be checked. We will find him. He will not escape.”

Marlena heard a voice behind her saying “He already has.”

“Are you hungry, Marlena?” Kayla asked as she placed the tray of tea on the table. Marlena shook her head. Kayla sat down next to her and took her hand. “Bo or Shane will call, you know that. As soon as they find him they will call…” Marlena got up and walked to the French doors.

“What if they don’t find him? What if the ISA already has him, Kay? They’ve lied to us in the past. Lord knows what they’re capable of. This is so crazy! If only he’d call me. I need to talk to him, I need to hear him tell me there’s been a mistake. I need him so much, Kayla.” She started to cry again as she rested her head against the windows. Where are you, Roman? I need you. I’m afraid. Kayla started to get up as when the door opened. “Roman?” they both said, hopefully. Bo and Abe entered the house. “What? Where is he?” Marlena asked. Bo shook his head.

“I don’t know, Marlena. There’s no trace of him. He left Shane’s on foot but we can’t find him anywhere. I guess he didn’t call, huh?”

“No,” said Kayla. “We’ve been by the phone since we got here.” Marlena looked at Abe.

“Do you think the ISA has him, Abe? Did they take him away? Where is he?” Abe put his hands on her shoulders.

“No Marlena. I really don’t think the ISA has any idea where he is. They’re all set up at Shane’s. They’ve got the FBI looking for him, not to mention the Salem PD and the state police.” Marlena rubbed her temples.

“Please find him. What are we going to do?” Bo looked out the windows.

“Damnit! Those vultures couldn’t wait.” Kayla walked over to the window and looked out.

“Oh no, they can’t do that!”

“What?” Marlena asked. “What’s going on out there?”

“Damn TV cameras. They’re setting up all over the street. We gotta stop this, Abe. We gotta get them out of here now.”

“Why TV cameras, Abe?” Marlena asked. She had not yet thought of the importance of what was happening beyond her own family. Abe rubbed her arms.

“This is big news, honey. ‘Cmdr. Brady Is An Impostor? The networks will be on this soon.” Marlena couldn’t even grasp what Abe was saying. Impostor? No, this was some cruel joke being played on her family.

“The kids will see them! We have to get them away from here!” Kayla came up behind her, taking her hand.

“Maybe you should think about what you’re going to tell the kids, Marlena,” she said. Marlena looked from Kayla to Abe and back again.

“What do you mean? I’m not telling them anything. Their father is missing! Until he is found, until my husband comes home, I’m not telling them anything!” She was crying again.

“OK, OK” said Bo. “Come here for a minute. Sit down. Kay, get her some tea, please.” Bo sat on the edge of the coffee table facing her. He took her hands in his. “You and I know this is a load of crap, right?” She nodded. “OK, but Marlena listen – you have to think of something to tell the kids. Carrie remembers what Roman looked like before. She’s going to see him. They’re all going to see it on TV or hear about it. You have to say something.” She realized he was right. She would have to say something to her children about this.

“Maybe I could say that their Daddy is trying to figure out why this man thinks he’s Roman? I mean, that’s the truth, right? That’s good, isn’t it?” Bo and Kayla nodded as Abe hung up the phone.

“There’s a squad car outside and two more on the way. They’ll set up barricades and keep the cameras and the reporters at the corner. That’s probably the best we’ll get, though.” Marlena could not believe there were reporters outside already.

“I want to go to Shane’s. Take me to Shane’s, please Bo?” Bo looked up at Abe.

“Can we get her out the back?” Abe looked out the window.

“I think so, let me start the car and you take her around the side.” Abe went out the front door.

“Kayla I’ll be back before the kids get up. They always sleep late on the weekends. Will you be OK?”

“Absolutely,” said Kayla. “Don’t worry about anything. We’re fine here.” Marlena grabbed her coat and hugged her sister-in-law tight.

“Thank you so much. I’ll be back before they get up. Try to get some sleep.” Marlena and Bo were out the door and laying on the floor of Abe’s car before the reporters’ saw them. Abe pulled out of the driveway and headed in the opposite direction of the cameras.

************************

Twenty minutes, and several roadblocks later, they pulled into the driveway at Donovan Manor. The driveway was filled with cars. There were men milling about the grounds on two-way radios and celphones. The trio got out of the car and went inside. Marlena saw Shane speaking with several men in the living room. Bo took her arm and led her into the room. Shane saw them and ended his conversation.

“Hello Marlena. How are you?” he said. She looked over the group of men in the room. Are all these people looking for him? They’re hunting him like an animal?

“Anything yet Govn’r?” asked Bo.

“No, not yet. He seems to have disappeared. Marlena, are you alright?” Shane reached for her hand, startling her for the moment.

“They’re all looking for Roman? All these men are looking for him? Why Shane?” Shane looked at Abe and Bo.

“Come with me,” he said, taking her arm and leading them down the hallway into his office.

“OK Shane, what’s going on?” asked Marlena. She could see the looks exchanged between the three of them and looked at Shane expectantly.

“Marlena, sit down,” said Shane. Abe and Bo came up on either side of her.

“Sit down, OK?” asked Bo. She sat and waited.

“He’s not a fugitive, Marlena. It’s not like he’s going to be thrown in jail the minute he’s found. The ISA needs to talk to him. It’s very important we find him for many reasons, not the least of which is another blood test. I know how important that is to you and I don’t want there to be any doubts.”

“We passed thru roadblocks and I know the airport is being watched. If he’s not a fugitive then why is that happening? What are going to do to him?” she asked. Bo knelt down beside her.

“You and I know this is a joke, right? Nothing the ISA says is true. Roman will prove it.” Shane and Abe exchanged worried glances.

“Bo, we need to talk to him. The accusations -“

“Screw that Shane! I don’t know who the hell that guy is . You all may think he’s Roman, but I sure as hell don’t. He can say whatever he wants. He’s lying or he’s crazy.”

“What is he saying?” asked Marlena. Bo got up and began pacing, cursing under his breath.

“He’s made some accusations Marlena, some pretty startling ones at that.”

“What?” she asked again. “Tell me what he’s been saying about my husband.”

“He said John Black was there while he was in San Cristobal. John and another of Stephano’s men were in charge. He said John was involved in some pretty horrendous things and was part of a plan to assume Roman’s identity.” Shane waited for her response. She was unable to speak for a moment. Then, almost involentarily, she began to laugh.

“Oh Shane, come on! You can’t be serious. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. He’s lying or he’s delusional. There is no way Roman was involved in anything like that.” Shane sat down at his desk.

“I wish I knew what to say, Marlena. That’s what he says and the ISA has reason to believe it’s true. We need to talk to John and get his version.”

“Stop calling him John – he is Roman Brady!” she yelled.

“Then I guess there’s two of us, Doc.” They all turned to see him standing in the doorway, leaning on his cane. Silence. Roman laughed. “I seem to leave everyone speechless these days. It’s a little odd, considering I had no one to talk to for over seven years.” Marlena got up and walked over to him.

“Why are you doing this?” she asked. Abe reached out to take her arm. “No, Abe.” She shook him off. “I want to know why he’s doing this. Who’s paying you? Is it the ISA? Are they that desperate to have my husband back working for them that they would do this?”

Looking into her eyes, he could see the passion when she spoke of him. The man she loves. The man whose bed she has shared these past six years while he rotted in jail, dreaming of her… ” No one is paying me anything. All I’m getting is my freedom. I guess getting my life back is out of the question, huh Doc?” Abe stepped between them.

“Listen, we’ve all been up all night. Let’s get some sleep and talk about this later. We all need a break.” Marlena had to ask him one more question.

“If he was working for Stephano then why haven’t we heard from him? We were all under the impression that he died in 1985. Why hasn’t Stephano tried to make contact?”

“He has, you just don’t know it.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

“Simon Cole Bennett ring a bell, Doc?”

I love you so much, Roman…only you.” She ran her hands through the hair on his chest, feeling the muscles jump beneath her fingertips.

“I love you, Doc. I love you more than anything in this world. I need you so much…” He kissed her neck…her shoulders. She arched her back as she felt his lips touch her skin.

“I want you so much Roman.” She looked into his beautiful blue eyes, but something was different. She could not make out his face. “Roman? Roman where are you? Roman…..”

Marlena sat straight up in bed and looked at the empty space next to her. It was true. It had really happened. He was gone. She brushed the hair out of her eyes and looked at the clock. 12:05 pm. Bo brought her back to the house before the kids woke up, insisting she lay down for a while. She had changed into one of Roman’s Salem PD t-shirts and climbed under the covers, hoping she’d wake from this nightmare to find his arms around her. That was not to be. Roman, where are you? She lay back into his pillows and could smell him. The mixture of soap, shampoo and him; her favorite smell. She closed her eyes to stop the tears. I cannot cry anymore. He wouldn’t want me to cry. He would want me to pull myself together until he gets home. He’ll be home soon. He’ll call today. He would never leave me. He’ll call. She got out of bed feeling much more confident. She pulled on a pair of jeans and went downstairs. Hope was in the kitchen making coffee.

“Hi. Did you sleep a little?” she asked as Marlena entered the kitchen.

“Yes, I did. A few hours anyway. Where are the kids?”

“Caroline came by and she and Kayla took them to Gran’s to make a cake. Coffee?” she asked as she pulled a mug from the cabinet.

“Please,” Marlena said. She sat at the table and picked at a donut. “Any news? Has Shane called?” Hope put down a mug in front of Marlena and sat across from her.

“Shane called about an hour ago to say that Tarrington was having a press conference at 3:00 pm.” Marlena looked into her coffee mug.

“What is he going to say, Hope?”

“Well, he’s going to say that the man we know as Cmdr. Roman Brady is an impostor. He’s going to say that the ISA rescued the real Roman Brady several weeks ago and an APB has been issued for John Black.” Marlena put her head in her hands.

“No, nooo….they can’t do that. Shane said he wasn’t a fugitive. He said they weren’t arresting him. They only wanted to talk to him. Why are they doing this, Hope?” Hope took her hand.

“The media is jumping all over this, Marlena. Especially with the Torres case so recent. They’re already talking about convictions being overturned on people he put away.”

“Why are they saying he’s an impostor? They haven’t even done another blood test. They haven’t even given him a chance!” She got up and walked to the sink. “Hope, what am I going to tell my kids? He’s their father.”

“What if he isn’t Marlena? The paternity and DNA tests were pretty conclusive.” Marlena and Hope stared at each other until Hope looked away. “I’m sorry Marlena. I didn’t want to believe it. It just seems irrefutable now. He wasn’t Roman. Roman has been Stephano’s prisoner for over seven years.”

“So you’re telling me you believe John Black has been impersonating my husband? That our lives together for the past six years have been a lie? He never loved me? He was part of some monstrous scheme concocted by Stephano DiMera against my family?” Hope shook her head.

“No, no Marlena. My God, of course he loves you! Anyone who’s ever seen the two of you together knows how much he loves you. What I’m saying is I think Shane is right. He had amnesia when he came to Salem, he did not consciously deceive anyone. The memories were Roman’s memories but John didn’t plan to take over his life. He was a victim in all of this, too. Marlena, I remember what he was like back then. He was desperate to find out what had happened to him. Think about it. The memories of Roman, the memories of Stephano. He wasn’t sure of anything, you said that yourself. And he has the tattoo, Marlena. He has the Phoenix tattoo on his back.” Marlena remembered the first time she saw the tattoo. The towel had slipped off his shoulder and she was admiring his body when she saw it. She had wanted to scream. Now, standing in her kitchen, she was overwhelmed by that same feeling.

“I cannot believe what this man – this man the ISA says is Roman – I cannot believe what he is saying. Hope, he said that John Black was in San Cristobal in December of 1984. He said John was there when he was held prisoner. I can’t believe that. No matter what happens, I’ll never believe that!” Hope got up to refill her coffee.

“Who is Simon, Marlena? Bo said you knew a man named Simon.” Marlena took some coffee and sat down.

“I have a patient named Simon Cole. Ro – the ISA’s Roman said Simon worked for Stephano. I had asked him why Stephano never tried to contact Roman – gosh, this is becoming annoying – my Roman if they worked together. He said that Stephano had contacted him, through the appearance of Simon Cole. I hadn’t really thought about it before…”

“What?” asked Hope.

“Simon Cole… Roman had been upset and didn’t know why.” Marlena played out the events of the past few days in her mind. Simon Cole had triggered something in Roman. Some unknown fear or anger. “Seeing Simon at Chez Vous the other night upset him. Really upset him.” Hope sat down.

“You mean at Shawn’s dinner? Simon Cole was there?” Marlena nodded.

“Yes, at the bar. He’s been a patient of mine for about a month or so and I stopped to say hello to him.” Hope remembered a handsome blonde man at the bar.

“Is that why Roman was so quiet? We could tell he was preoccupied by something before you left.” Marlena closed her eyes and remembered what followed all to well.

“Simon Cole’s presence upset Roman a lot,” she said. “He was still upset the next day and he came home pretty late. He had a dream and woke up screaming at me, accusing me of sleeping with Simon Cole.” Hope was shocked.

“What? Why would he think that?” she asked.

“I don’t know, Hope. It was awful. We were both so upset by it afterwards. He said that in his dreams Simon Cole was taking me away from him. He felt awful about it but he really scared me, Hope.” Hope took her hands again.

“Maybe it makes sense. Seeing Simon triggered the possibility of losing you. Maybe it reminded him he wasn’t really Roman Brady.” Marlena closed her eyes.

“I don’t care what his name is. I need him, I need my husband.” Hope began to cry for her friend, her sister-in-law. She could imagine nothing worse happening to Marlena. Just then the back door opened and in came Caroline, Kayla and all the kids. Shawn-D had joined the group at Horton’s.

“Hi Mommy,” said Eric. “Grandma said we didn’t have to go to church today. We made a cake for Grandpa’s birthday party instead. Come on you guys, the construction paper is in my room.” Sami kissed Marlena as the kids marched upstairs. Carrie sat down, sensing some tension.

“Hey, what’s going on? Are you crying?” Marlena looked up at the Brady women watching her. Here goes.

“Carrie honey, something happened last night,” she began. Carrie felt the blood rush to her feet.

“Oh no, Daddy was shot! Oh Marlena, no-“

“No, no baby it’s OK, he’s OK.” Marlena took her hands and could feel Carrie shaking. Baby, I’m so sorry. “Carrie he’s fine, it’s just…someone came to Salem with Uncle Shane and the ISA last night. A man who was found on an island a few weeks ago.” Carrie watched as Marlena stopped to take a breath. “This man claims he is the real Roman Brady and that Daddy is John Black.” Carrie looked at her grandmother and her aunts.

“What? Why would he say that, Marlena? Is he some crazy guy?”

“Well we don’t really know, honey. You see, he looks like your Daddy did when you were little. Do you remember how Daddy looked?” Carrie nodded. “Well, that’s just how this man looks. That’s why the ISA did some tests.”

“What tests?” asked Carrie.

“They did blood tests, paternity tests to see if Grandpa is the man’s father. And they did DNA tests to get a genetic profile. Both those tests came back positive, Carrie.” Carrie began shaking again.

“What does positive mean?”

“It means that the man is probably Grandpa’s son.” Carrie was crying now.

“Where’s Daddy? I want my father!” Marlena pulled Carrie into her arms.

“I know baby, me too. Last night when we found out, Daddy left Uncle Shane’s house. He went to prove that this is all a lie. He will honey, he’ll find out what’s going on and he’ll be back soon.”

“Don’t you know where he is, Marlena?” Marlena shook her head.

“No, Carrie. I don’t know where he is. I do know he will call as soon as he can, though.” Carrie looked at the women in the room. She could see that there was something more.

“What else?” she asked. Marlena smiled; Carrie was too smart for her own good.

“Chief Tarrington is head of the ISA. He’s going to have a press conference today. There are a lot of reporters at the end of the block, Carrie. Tarrington is going to tell them they think Daddy is an impostor.”

“What? That’s a lie! They can’t do that.

“Carrie, we know it’s not true. You and I know that. It doesn’t matter what the ISA says. They’re trying to find Daddy so they can talk to him. No matter what happens Carrie, Daddy loves us and we will get through this.”

Marlena wiped the tears from Carrie’s cheeks. Carrie stared into her eyes, desperately wanting to believe her.

“OK, Marlena. Promise you’ll tell me everything?”

“Yes…I’ll tell you everything. Go wash your face, sweetie.” Marlena kissed her and she left the kitchen. Marlena looked up to see the Brady women staring at her.

“What? Do you expect me to tell my children their father is an impostor? A liar? Forget it. I will never believe any of this. We will wait for Roman and he will explain everything when he comes home.” No one said a word.

***************

A police guard had been stationed outside the front door. Abe said it was to keep the reporters away, but she knew he was also there to take Roman into custody if he came home. The family had been there that evening. It was difficult, but Marlena wanted everything to go on as planned. She wanted as much normalcy in the kids lives as possible. Tomorrow she would take them to school and speak to their teachers. She would not allow the reporters to make them prisoners in their own home. She locked up and checked outside again. The officer was still there, waiting.

She let the warm water run down her back. It felt so good, like it was washing away the pain. It had been an incredibly long day. She told the twins some of what was happening. She showed them an old picture of Roman and said that their Daddy was trying to find out why a stranger thinks he’s Roman Brady. They had a few questions and she answered them. She knew to only give them the information they asked for. Kids had a way of disseminating what was important for them to know. The twins had complete faith in their Daddy. As long as he was coming home soon. Please come home, Roman. She could tell the family questioned her decision but she stood firm. They would put their faith in Roman – their Roman. He would be back. She steepped out of the shower and into her robe, wrapping her hair in a towel. It was almost midnight. Kayla and Stephanie were asleep in the guestroom; she insisted on staying. She sat on their bed and began to dry her hair. Tom Horton would clear her schedule for a few days. She had a full patient load but there was no way she could work just now. She had given the information she had on Simon Cole to Abe, even though she knew he would find nothing. Something told her Simon Cole was gone. At least my instincts were right about him. Tomorrow she would see Tarrington again. Shane had said she would be allowed to look at the file on John Black. She would have to speak to him, too. She was determined to find out who this man was, because he was definitely not her husband.

***************

He could feel her fingers running down his back. “Mmmm Roman, you feel so good. I love when you do that…..I love you so much…..”

He kissed her eyes, her neck….moving slowly down her body. “I love you so much, Doc.” He said as the warm tingling sensation flowed up his arm. Darkness.

“How much longer?” asked Simon Cole Bennett. The doctor shook his head as he disposed of the needle and adjusted the I.V.

“I’m not sure. Perhaps another day. We want to be sure he remembers everything when he wakes up.”

“Yes,” said Simon. “We want him to remember everything.”

Getting the children to school was harder then she thought it would be. Even with Abe driving, reporters screamed awful questions at them. Marlena assured the children that everything would be alright. She spoke with their teachers and both principals and was promised no one would speak with the reporters. She and Abe would pick the children up from school.

By 10:00 am she was sitting behind Shanes’ desk with two files in front of her. Shane had told her to read through them and then he would answer any questions she had. The first file was labeled ‘John Black’. It listed his probable year of birth, with a notation that no birth record available. He was the same age as Roman. His vitals as of 1984. His arrests: none. Visible scars or markings: tattoo of Phoenix on right shoulder. There were several documents on his connection to Stephano DiMera. Marlena flipped through pages of speculation of things he was involved in: guns, art theft, money laundering. Then something caught her eye. Apparently, Stephano had become John Black’s guardian when he was just four years old. Several people who worked for Stephano went on to become ISA informants. The story was that one of Stephano’s oldest friends had died, leaving his son John in Stephano’s care. Some people had wondered if Stephano was actually the boy’s father. Since Stephano never cared whether his children were legitimate that seemed unlikely. If John were his biological child everyone would know. Marlena read further. John Black was privately tutored by some of the finest educators in Europe. He was a skilled marksman and a blackbelt in karate. He had one known associate: Simon Cole Bennett. There was no other family, no wife, not even a girlfriend. The file listed several names of women John Black had been known to have sexual liaisons with, but none could claim any sort of relationship with him. The only people who knew anything about him were Stephano and Simon. John Black was the consummate loner. Making her own notes on some of the more significant information, Marlena couldn’t help but think there was no way…there was no way this man could be my husband.

The second file was labeled ‘Roman Brady: Nov. 84 – Feb. 92’. Marlena held it in her hands for a moment. She’d come this far; she had to be prepared for anything. The first page listed vitals, just as she remembered them. She closed her eyes and was back in their living room, begging him not to go……..

” Please Roman, please let the ISA find them. Please don’t go.”

“Doc, I have to. It’s my brother, Carrie’s mother. I’ll be back before you know it. I love you, Doc.”

She remembered watching him go and feeling guilty. Guilty that she could be so angry at him for choosing his job over her and the children yet again. Marlena shook her head, willing herself back to the present and the file in front of her. His account of waking up in a hospital bed in San Cristobal. His right leg and shoulder were broken. He had seven cracked ribs but his back was not broken and his injuries would heal. Several doctors and nurses cared for him around the clock. He was aware that Stephano was responsible for his hospitalization, but he did not see him until weeks into his recuperation.

At some point, Stephano appeared with his two ‘henchmen’: John Black and Simon Cole Bennett. They were instructed to watch Roman until he recuperated and then he was to be moved. Stephano had told Roman that his family would be arriving soon. Marlena remembered the events that followed. Stephano had kidnapped Sami and Eric. He had told her she must leave with him if she ever wanted to see her children again. Bo came to her rescue, getting the twins out of the Lafferty farmhouse. She shot Stephano on the catwalk of the Salem Concert Hall. She watched him fall into the flames. How foolish we were to think he was really dead. According to the file, right after that Roman was moved into a prison cell. John Black began questioning him about every aspect of his life. He soon discovered why. He asked him obscure questions about his past, his family. When Roman refused to cooperate things got ugly. There were several extremely violent beatings ordered by John Black. Videotapes of his family began to arrive. Videos of his brother’s wedding in England, his children in the park, and his wife. According to the file, Richard Cates was employed by John Black. Marlena could feel her head begin to pound. Please, no. They are making this up. It has to be a lie. By Roman’s account, John Black had Richard Cates planted in Salem to seduce Marlena and break her heart. Shatter her self-confidence. Roman was forced to watch a videotape of Marlena making love with Richard in their home, their bed. Marlena saw her tears falling on the pages in front of her.

Roman was told that plans had changed after Marlena shot Stephano. John said that he would be assuming Roman’s identity at Christmastime. Richard was part of the plan, but wound up falling in love with Marlena and wound up dead. John assured Roman he would not make that same mistake. Roman fought back, refusing to reveal any more information. He was drugged, tortured, beaten until he revealed everything about his life to his captors. At some point in the Fall of ’85 John Black disappeared. Several months went by before Simon became Roman’s only contact, providing him with videos of John’s life in Salem: his life as Roman Brady. Roman had seen birthdays, holidays, picnics in the park….his life lived by another man. Marlena closed her eyes. As much as she wanted to throw the file away and run from the room, she couldn’t. She had to finish. Roman was given videos of the Brady’s lives for almost six years. He had not seen Stephano DiMera since 1985 but he knew the man was still alive. Several weeks ago, he was severely beaten and left in his cell. Two days later the ISA arrived at the deserted compound and rescued him. The file went on to list contacts and some confirming data. Marlena closed the file and put her head in her hands….this couldn’t be true.

“God help us,” she said aloud. She looked up when she heard him. He was standing in the doorway. Watching her. She leaned back into the chair and stared at him, not knowing what to say.

“Interesting reading?” he asked, never taking his eyes off hers. Marlena looked down at the file and shrugged.

“This is all lies,” she said, determined not to cry. “I don’t know why you people are doing this but until I see my husband I will never believe any of it.”

“Still stubborn,” he said with a wry smile. “Well, I guess that shouldn’t surprise me. I used to be the one you believed in, the one you fought for. Amazing how things change.” She looked away, pushing back the niggling of guilt that was beginning to creep into her heart. He is not Roman. He watched her struggling with her conscience, her heart.

“What’s the matter, Marlena? Tired of fighting the truth? Tired of defending that fraud?” That got to her. She stood up, facing him.

“He is not a fraud and I will never tire of defending him. I will believe in him until the day I die! He is my husband and the father of my children!” Roman laughed as he limped closer.

“One of these days you’re going to have to face the truth. He’s a fraud. I’m sure he’s sitting on some island somewhere, enjoying his drink, and counting the millions Stephano paid him for a job well done.”

“How dare you!” she screamed.

“No, Marlena,” he said as he leaned closer to her. “How dare you! How dare you look me in the eye and call that bastard the father of your children! I’ve seen enough videotape of you in bed with other men to accept the fact that you are no longer my wife but by God, those are my kids! They’re my kids!” She stepped back, overwhelmed by his anger and her own mixed emotions. No, no, no……he is mistaken. Maybe he was brainwashed…maybe he’s been drugged…..She took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

“I’m sorry. I’m terribly sorry for what happened to you. You have obviously been through an awful ordeal. I don’t know why you believe this but-“

“Don’t you pull that shrink crap on me, Doc!” he yelled. “I don’t care what you tell yourself to help you sleep at night but I am not some poor, delusional amnesiac. I am not ‘The Pawn’! You let that man into our home, our bed, and our children’s lives. It stops here. I am their father and I want them to know it. I have a right to see my kids.” Marlena backed away from him and saw Shawn and Caroline in the doorway.

“Marlena dear, is everything alright?” asked Caroline. Marlena looked back at him.

“Fine, Caroline. We were just clearing the air a bit,” she said. He was staring at her, determined to make her see him.

“Yeah, Ma. My wife and I were just catching up a bit I meant what I said, Marlena. They’re my kids and I want to see them.” Marlena looked at Caroline and Shawn, hoping to find some support. They looked away.

“I don’t think my children are prepared for that,” she said.

“What have you told them?” he asked. “Do they know I’m here?”

“They know their Daddy is looking for some information on why you claim to be Roman Brady?”

“I am Roman Brady and you know it! Whether or not you admit it to yourself is your problem, but I want my kids to know the truth.” Caroline came up behind him and touched his arm.

“Roman dear, maybe we should wait a few days. This will be very hard for the children.”

“No Ma,” he said. “They’re my kids and they have been lied to for six years. They deserve the truth now.” Marlena shook her head.

“You will not tell my children what you have been saying about him. I will not subject them to that. He has a right to defend himself, to answer your accusations.”

“He’s gone, Marlena! He’s not man enough to come back here and face the truth! You’d better accept the fact that he’s done with you. I’ll bet he’s in someone else’s bed tonight, celebrating his escape!”

“Lie,” she whispered. “That’s a lie!”

“Roman stop!” said Caroline. “Don’t say that! We didn’t know, none of us knew. Not Marlena, not any of us.”

Marlena looked away from them, fighting back the tears. Roman watched her, feeling a small victory at her pain, her guilt.

“Right Ma, she didn’t know a thing. She couldn’t tell the difference when she climbed into our bed with him every night.”

“Shut up,” Marlena said, finally able to look back at him. “Shut your mouth. I will not listen to this. You will not tell my children these lies. Say whatever you want to me, but I will not allow you to hurt my children.” With that she left the room. Shawn and Caroline stood there, watching him, not knowing what to say.

“We’ll see, Doc,” said Roman. “We’ll see.”

***************

Stephano was wheeled into the room after lunch. “How is he?”

“Nothing yet,” said Simon. He had been sitting with John all morning, waiting for him to wake up. “It shouldn’t be much longer. Dr. Daimler said tonight or tomorrow. The drugs should be taking affect.” Stephano nodded.

“Good, good. I’m anxious to see him, but you must be here when he wakes up Simon. It must be your face he sees.”

“I won’t leave until he’s awake. I promise.” Stephano smiled.

“Our plans have worked out well, Simon. You did an excellent job.”

“Thank you.” Simon watched Stephano wheel himself out of the room. He looked back at John, recalling how he waited on the grounds of Donovan Manor. He knew John would flee from the house, run from the truth. Simon was waiting with the tranquilizer gun. One shot into John’s leg and he was down. Simon got him off the grounds before anyone knew he was there. An hour later John was in a bed in a secluded estate in the mountains. An I.V. was administered that would begin delivering the mixture of drugs that would bring John Black back to them. All they had to do was wait.

e reached over to grab the phone, pushing her hair from his neck. “Yeah, Black here.”

“John, it’s me. Stephano’s been shot!”

“What?” John jumped up and pushed the girl off his chest. “Where? What happened?”

“She shot him in the chest. He fell into a fire at the Ice Show but I got him out.” Simon could barely breath. “John, what do I do? He’s bleeding!” John tried to think.

“OK…do you have her kids?”

“No,” said Simon. “It’s just me and him.”

“Get him to the plane, Simon. A doctor will be waiting. You have to get him out of Salem. The pilot will take you to Montreal. It will be alright, Simon. Stay calm. I’ll meet you in Montreal. Stay calm, Simon.”

“Ok…you’ll be there? In Montreal?”

“Yes, yes. I’ll be there.” John hung up the phone and grabbed his pants. If Stephano DiMera died he would go to Salem and kill her himself.

Simon watched as John stirred in his sleep. The drugs were beginning to take affect. It would not be long now. He would be awake soon.

***************

The Brady’s had gathered at Kim’s again; they really did not know what else to do. Waiting for something, anything to happen had put everyone on edge. Marlena had left with Abe to pick the kids up from school. She went home rather then have another nasty confrontation. Caroline told them of the argument Roman and Marlena had earlier. If they had not felt guilty before, they certainly did now. The realization that they had accepted another man as Roman, as their son, their brother, their husband was devastating. To hear that he had been forced to watch videotapes of someone else living his life was beyond cruel. Kayla had not been able to stop crying. “Kim, how could we not have known? How will he ever get over this? What about John? Was it all a lie? Has he been lying to us, Kim?” Kimberly tried to console her sister.

“No Kayla, I don’t think so and neither does Shane. Some of what Roman is saying is obviously true but I don’t think John was deceiving anyone. Could he have faked the past six years?” Kayla thought for a moment, remembering all the wonderful moments…the sad ones, too. “Come on Kay, you know how they are. They’re crazy about each other. He loves her and those kids more than life itself. He loves us too, Kay. That wasn’t a lie.” Hope agreed.

“Kayla, no matter what happened, John was a victem too. He unknowingly lived another man’s life. Now that’s gone. God knows where he is now. Life as he knew it is gone from him,” said Hope sadly. “He is a terrific cop, a great father….such a wonderful friend. I don’t know that we’ll ever hear his side of it. I don’t think he’s coming back.” Bo had heard the end of their conversation and angrily jumped in.

“What do you mean you don’t think he’s coming back? Do you think he’d walk away from his family? His life? I can’t believe you’re all sitting here crying over that guy’s sob story! He’s lying! This is all a con set up by the ISA. I can’t believe you’re all buying it.” Bo was obviously upset. Hope tried to comfort him.

“No Fancyface, don’t. How can you believe this? You’re a cop. You know he’s lying. You think I don’t know my own brother?”

“Didn’t you hear what Mom and Pop said, Bo?” asked Kayla. “All the things in those files? Why would the ISA make that up? It makes no sense, Bo. What would they have to gain?” Bo laughed.

“Come on, Kay. They have been trying to get Roman to join back up ever since Vaughn died. What would they gain? The best damn agent they ever had! I’m not buying one word in those files until I talk to my brother!” Shawn, Caroline and Roman came into the living room.

“Well now, you can be talkin’ to your brother whenever ya like, Bo,” said Shawn. His tone was accusing; he had made up his mind about who was his son and who was the impostor. The deceit played on his family had pushed Shawn to the limit and his guilt had turned to anger. ” So here ya all are, deciding what’s right and what’s wrong, eh?”

“No, Pop, that’s not what we’re doing. Everyone is hearing half the conversation!” said Kimberly in frustration. “Listen Pop, we’re just trying to make sense of this. We want to hear what John has to say.”

“Ha!” laughed Shawn. “Any answers you’re needin’ are in those files on your husbands’ desk. He kept your brother prisoner while he climbed into bed with his wife! She should be ashamed, we should all be ashamed for what’s been goin’ on here these past six years! It’ll be a long time she’s makin’ this up to you, son.” That pushed Bo right over the edge. Hope tried to intervene.

“Pop, please. Stop this. No one knew-“

“Forget it, Fancyface,” said Bo, barely controlling his rage. “There’s no talking to him when he has his mind made up. So you think you got your first-born back, Pop? You’re in for a big disappointment, old man! You’re being played for a fool. When Roman – when my brother comes back with proof that this guy is a liar, you’ll be singin’ a different tune! You think Marlena is buying any of this? Forget it! She knows exactly how far the ISA will go to get what they want. She loves him Pop, and he loves her. No matter what some file says. The ISA will never change that. You can let a piece of paper decide who you love, who’s your family, but she sure as hell won’t and neither will I!” Bo left the room and they could hear the front door slam seconds later. Hope looked at the family and looked away, wiping fresh tears from her eyes.

***************

Victor Kiriakis had gone to the docks to absorb what he had been watching all day on the news. He looked at down at the headline of the Salem Chronicle he a had been holding:

Commander Roman Brady Impostor

Victor could not believe it. All that time spent trying to buy Roman Brady, ‘ The Pawn’, from Petrov and it was a con. Victor wondered if Stephano put the final bullet in Petrov before throwing him into the Salem River. He shook his head. Another lifetime. If he had it to do all over again, Victor never would have gotten involved in any of it. What was it all about? Oh yes, those damn bond and treasury plates. Stockholm. Victor wished he could go back and do it all over again but he knew that was wasted energy. There was no going back. Especially not with Bo. Victor glanced down at the pier below him. As if by some miracle, there was his son.

Bo was staring out at the water. He was a million miles away. Come on Bro, where are you? Call her. Call me. Please come back. Victor walked up behind him and watched for a moment. Bo had grown into a fine young man. Victor knew he could take no credit for that, but he was proud of him nonetheless.

“Hello, Bo.”

“Wha…” Bo startled and spun around to face Victor. “Oh, Victor. What do you want?” asked Bo, turning to look back over the water.

“I don’t want a thing Bo. I was just taking an evening walk when I saw you standing here. You obviously have a lot on your mind.”

“Yeah, you could say that,” said Bo. He looked down at the paper in Victor’s hand. “So you believe those lies, too. It figures.”

“I’m sorry about this, Bo.” Victor was sincere. He could see how painful this was for his son. “I know how close the two of you are.” Bo refused to look at him.

“He’ll be back. My brother is coming back. Everyone he loves is here. He’d never leave Marlena and his kids. He’ll show them all.” Bo was near tears. Exhaustion and frustration had taken their toll on him. Victor felt guilty for his part in the events that had taken place years earlier. If only he had known.

“Bo, please know that if there is anything I can do….anything at all. Please let me help you.” Bo shook his head and sighed.

“What could you do? You’ve done enough to my family.”

“I’m sorry for whatever part I played in all of this back then, Bo. If I could do it over, I’d do it differently. I cannot change the past but if I can help you in any way…”

“You can’t help me, Vic. I wish you could.”

***************

Simon had begun to dose off again. He had been in John’s room for two days waiting for him to wake up. He rested his head back into the chair and remembered the last time he saw John. They had been finalizing the plans for him to assume Roman’s identity. Richard Cates had wound up dead in a shootout on the Salem waterfront. They would have had to kill him anyway. He made the mistake of falling in love with Marlena Brady. Richard was supposed to kill Bo. He died before that was done. Simon and John knew Bo would have to be eliminated in order for their plan to work. He presented their biggest obstacle. Petrov had worked in Salem with Stephano several years earlier. He knew the territory and was assigned the job of killing Bo Brady. Stephano was becoming more mobile and Roman Brady had given them the information that they needed. With a little pharmacutical assistance. Everything was set. On December 10th the ISA would get an anonymous tip about a man in a hospital in the Bahamas. The man would be wrapped in bandages about the face. John had arranged for some sort of procedure to give his face some superficial scars. He would claim amnesia, but he would have Roman Brady’s wedding ring and ID. The perfect present for Marlena at Christmastime. She would buy it. They knew enough about her to know they could pull this off. Stephano came up with the plan after she shot him. His way of keeping tabs on her. Everything was perfect, then all hell broke loose…

Simon opened his eyes when he heard John coughing. He reached the bed as John was opening his eyes.

“Are you OK?” asked Simon.

“Yeah. I’m fine. What’s this thing in my arm? What the hell happened to me, Simon?”

He was sitting up in bed as Dr. Daimler removed the IV from his arm. His blood pressure was fine. His leg was a bit sore from the tranquilizer dart but, all in all, John Black was in great shape. He ran his hands through his hair and over his eyes. What happened? Roman is here….Marlena…she knows by now. Nooo….God, no. What have I done?

“You’re in fine shape, Mr. Black. That right leg may be sore for a few days but other then that, you’re all set.”

“Thank you, Dr. Daimler. I’ll let you know if we need anything,” said Simon. The doctor got the message and left quickly. Simon sat across from John and the two stared at each other for a long moment. John laughed.

“Simon, how the hell are you?” Simon smiled.

“I think I should be asking you that, my friend. How do you feel, really?”

“I’m fine, Simon. How long have I been out?”

“Two days. I got you here late Saturday night. I thought you would be awake yesterday,” said Simon. John shook his head in amazement.

“Two days? Wow…no wonder I’m starving. Where are we?”

“An estate that belongs to a friend of Stephano’s. About 45 minutes north of Salem. What would you like for dinner?” John thought for a minute.

“Steak and salad sounds good. Bring me a beer, too.”

“Coming right up,” said Simon as he headed towards the door. “I’ll see if he’s awake. He wanted to see you right away.” John nodded as Simon left the room. OK think…how the hell am I going to get out of here?

***************

Marlena poured herself a glass of wine. The twins were asleep and Carrie was doing homework. She had a long talk with them after dinner, reassuring them Daddy would be home soon. She only wished she knew when. ‘Harness the fear, make it work for you.’ Roman I’m trying, please hurry. I need you. She could hear him speaking to her mind, her heart. She put another log on the fire and sat on the floor in front of the fireplace. She had not gone back to Shane’s after the kids’ got out of school. Why bother? If there was news they would call her. No sense in fighting with him again. She picked up the notes she had made earlier while reading the files. She looked over some of the information again and closed her eyes. Could it be true? Could Richard Cates have been hired to seduce her? Break her heart? Well, if that was the case then he succeeded. Richard had helped her through one of the darkest periods of her life. His death and the discovery of his crimes plunged her into despair again. He died in my arms…his dying words were ‘Roman, Roman…..’

It was meeting John Black that changed everything. He walked into her life and boom – he was everywhere. She could not seem to get away from him. Then she couldn’t get close enough. Marlena watched the flames dance around each other, feeling their warmth. I love you so much. Please don’t ever leave me. She would never leave him. She promised him, no matter what happened. Marlena would not betray him. She would wait, no matter how long it took. She would wait forever.

***************

John got out of bed as soon as Simon left. The pain shot through his right leg but he managed to stand. He looked for the cameras but couldn’t find them. No matter. He was sure he was being watched. They were in the mountains. Looking out the window, he could tell they were not close to the road. Well hidden. Good. He checked the closet and found some clothes, his boots and his jacket. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt and headed for the bathroom. He stood under the hot water, letting it wash the foggy haze from his mind. John Black. Roman Brady. Oh my God…Petrov did it. He and that Russian doctor. They took something …they gave me those drugs…the shock treatments. Petrov had a secret. What was it in that file? That letter? He made me The Pawn…Marlena… I’m coming, Doc…I’ll get out of here. Shane had brought Roman back. The ISA found him in San Cristobal and he was back. What has he told them? What does she know? John’s mind was racing. It was as if the floodgates of his past had been sprung open and the memories were pouring out in random order. He had no control over the memories as they escaped his subconscious. Images of Roman being beaten, screaming. After living his life for six years, John could almost feel the force of each blow as images of the brutality ran through his mind. God, what did I do to him. He could remember watching Roman’s expression as the image of Marlena and Richard making love filled the giant tv screen. The pain was devastating to Roman. Richard was tall and blonde, like Simon. Simon Cole. I saw you with him, kissing him. John shook his head, trying to free the images that ran together. That’s it! That was why he kept imagining Marlena was sleeping with Simon. He was confusing Simon and Richard Cates and the images on the TV screen. He was feeling what Roman Brady felt. That realization sent him crashing to the tile floor. The now cold water ran down his face. I made him watch that. I made him live with that forever in his mind….

He reached up and turned the water off. He sat there on the shower floor trying to clear his mind. Focus on what he had to do now. I have to get out of here. I have to get to her and the kids. Roman Brady’s wife and children. They were not his family. They were Roman’s family. No, no…focus…get out of here! He knew Roman Brady was back in Salem telling his story to the family, the police. John breathed deeply and cleared his mind. He got up, dried off and dressed. Checking himself in the mirror, he decided to forgo the shave. A beard might be useful. He came out of the bathroom as Simon was bringing in dinner.

“I didn’t expect to see you up, let alone showered and dressed. I am impressed. Stephano is sleeping and since that’s a rarity I figured we should leave him alone. You can see him in the morning.”

“Fine. How’s he doing, Simon? Still in that wheelchair?” Simon nodded.

“Even he couldn’t change that. His health is much better, though. Petrov did quite a number on him.” John did not understand.

“Come again? What do you mean ‘Petrov did a number on him’?”

“When Petrov kidnapped you that night he injected Stephano with a lethal little parting gift. Stephano suffered a massive heart attack. I was shot trying to stop him. Good old Petrov should have made sure he finished us off before he grabbed you.”

“Did you do him in, Simon? Are you the one who dumped him into the river?” John asked. Simon smiled.

“Yes. I have never enjoyed killing anyone, but I enjoyed killing him. It has taken six years to repair the damage Petrov did. Stephano has been anxious to have you back, John.” John watched him closely.

“And you, Simon? How do you feel?” Simon looked away and then directly at John.

“You have been my only brother, my only friend for almost the entirety of my life. I am very glad to see you. Life was not the same while you were gone.” John reached his arm out to embrace the other man.

“Same here, Simon. I’m very glad to see you again.” John looked at his dinner tray and grabbed the beer.

“So, fill me in. How did this happen? What did I miss?” John needed to find out what Simon and Stephano knew. Did they find out what he discovered that night? Where was the letter now? Did Petrov take the file?

It was a struggle for John to concentrate on what Simon was saying. The memories were racing through his mind like a freight train. He could feel her hair on his chest. I love you so much Roman…only you. He could feel her arms around him. Simon told him how difficult Stephano’s recovery from the heart attack had been. Roman had been kept in the cell on San Cristobal . Simon oversaw his imprisonment, providing him with updates on life in Salem. Tapes. They showed him tapes of us together, Doc. What did he see? John tried to keep a mental log of what Simon was saying. He would write it down later. Simon told him how they monitored his life in Salem. It was not a surprise to them that John was an excellent police officer; working on the other side of the law for so long had many advantages. Simon told him how once, in 1990, they had discussed taking him back. He and Marlena had gone to Bermuda for a long weekend.

“The timing was wrong,” said Simon. “Roman had gotten sick, some sort of flu. This took longer but worked out much better.”

“Why now, Simon? How come Stephano left me alone for six years and now he wants me back?” asked John, hoping Simon wouldn’t detect the anger in his voice. Simon did and made a mental note of it.

“It was not a matter of ‘leaving you alone’ John. Don’t you remember the plan?” John did remember. He was supposed to assume Roman’s identity for about a year. They would finish up their US operations and then John would hand Marlena over to Stephano. I never would have done it, Doc. No matter what happened.

“You were supposed to get Stephano’s men out, finish up the job here, and then bring Marlena and her children to San Cristobal.”

“Yes, I remember,” said John. “Cates was supposed to kill Bo…I was supposed to be found in that hospital…” John went over to the windows and looked out into the night sky. Simon stood watching the man he once knew so well. They were strangers now, no matter what each had said. John fought back the tears that threatened to reveal his true feelings to Simon. Cates was supposed to kill Bo. I ordered the hit on Bo. Marlena and the kids would have been trapped in San Cristobal. Having Roman there was Stephano’s insurance policy. She would have cooperated. How could I have done those things? I have to get out of here….. John had to ask the inevitable question.

“Simon, what are Stephano’s plans now? What is he going to do about Marlena?” Simon was waiting for him to ask. I know you love her, John. I’ve seen you together.

“I think his only objective right now is getting us out of here. The police, the FBI and the ISA have things pretty well closed up. They’re all looking for you, John. Stephano was furious that Petrov allowed your name to be revealed. I found that a bit ironic myself, actually.” John recalled seeing his name on the plaque.

“It was a war memorial. A wall plaque. He must have wanted me to see it,” said John. Simon laughed.

“He must have thought it would make the game more interesting. Stephano has made arrangements for us to be taken to the Caracas estate.”

“Good,” said John. Venezuela…no way…..“When does he plan to leave?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

***************

It was almost midnight when Tarrington and his men left Donovan Manor. They were moving into an ISA safehouse to continue their search for John Black. Considering that he had been gone for over 48 hours it did not look promising. Chief Tarrington was furious with Bo Brady for helping him escape. Shane did his best to explain how difficult this was for all the Brady’s. Tarrington was understanding, but allowing the man to get away had complicated things a great deal, for the Brady’s as well as the ISA. Technically, they could not arrest John Black for any crime. He was a diagnosed amnesiac. Marlena would never testify to anything. There was no documentation to prove otherwise. There was no way of proving Roman’s accusations in court, though Tarrington knew it was all true. The FBI would gradually walk away from this, as would the state police. The Salem PD would continue to investigate as a matter of pride. Many officers had not taken the news of their boss’ deception well. All in all, if they did not get John Black soon then he was as good as gone.

Shane found Roman and Abe in the living room. He poured himself a drink and joined them.

“I think I’m too exhausted to sleep,” he said as he sat down. “How about you two?” Roman had been staying with Kim and Shane since his return. Abe had been in and out for the past two days.

“I don’t know, Shane,” said Abe. “I think I could fall asleep right here.”

“Please feel free if you’re too tired to drive, Abe.”

“Thanks, Shane. How about you, Roman? You must be beat.” Roman looked at Abe and shook his head.

“No Abe, I don’t sleep much.” He had been thinking of the argument he had with Marlena earlier that day. He knew she wouldn’t believe it at first, but somewhere in his heart he thought she would know. He thought she’d feel it when she saw him. Damn her… Abe and Shane looked at each other.

“Can you tell us what’s on your mind, Roman?” asked Shane. Roman laughed.

“Gee, where should I begin?”

“How about with Marlena?” asked Abe. Roman got up to leave the room.

“It’s not worth it, Abe.”

“Come on, Roman,” said Shane, trying to stop him. “We all know you and she argued this morning. You have to understand how difficult this is for her. It’s not like she’s trying to hurt you. She thought he was you. We all did.” Roman spun around to face Shane.

“How the hell is that Shane? How could you all believe he was me? We look nothing alike. No plastic surgeon is that good. How did he get you all to believe it?” Abe and Shane did not know what to say. Abe spoke first.

“It wasn’t about how he looked, Roman. It was the way he acted, his mannerisms, the way he felt about…”

“About her?” finished Roman. “The way he felt about my wife. Amazing, huh? He convinced her that he was me and she fell right into his arms.” Shane shook his head.

“No, Roman. It wasn’t like that. They had been through a great deal together. They went looking for his identity. The picture of you was planted in the mountains of West Virginia in those files. You know he had amnesia. The memories of your life, the picture, the way they felt about each other…yes, it made it all easier to believe. But we all believed it, not just Marlena.” Roman began to pace. Abe and Shane waited.

“She loves him. I can see it in her eyes. Even after she read the files, even after she heard the truth….she still loves him.” Abe felt awful for the man who had been his best friend, his partner.

“Give her time, Buddy. You can’t expect this to work itself out in a few days.”

“It doesn’t matter how long it takes to ‘work itself out’ Abe! The fact is I was her husband for a year and a half. He was her husband for six years. He was father to my kids for six years. Years I’ll never get back. He raised them, not me. I’m a stranger to them. I’m a stranger in my own family! I can see it. I see how much they miss that bastard! My own brother won’t even look at me!” Roman took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

“I need some air.” As Roman left the room, Abe sat down and put his head in his hands.

“It’s OK, Abe,” said Shane softly. “I miss him, too.”

John had spent the night writing down everything he could remember in chronological order. Simon had finally gone to bed, leaving him to organize the onslaught of memories. He had to convince Simon that it would be easier for him to have some time alone. Simon silently wondered if John would attempt to leave the estate. John knew he could not do that. Yet. There were guards on the grounds and he would probably be arrested the minute he hit the road. At sunrise John went downstairs to Stephano’s study to get some information.

I wonder where the file is? He logged onto the computer and pulled up information on three cities. This is the only way. I have to find out. I only hope it’s all still there. He looked up a few more things, made some notes, and went back to his room. OK, what was Petrov telling that doctor? What was the name? Stephano will never tell me. Oh my god…I’m going to see Stephano today. Stay calm. Don’t blow it. John knew that Stephano would be pleased to see him. John would have to appear just as pleased. Don’t think about what he did to her…what he made me do to her…Does he know what I found out that night? John opened the doors and went out to the balcony. He remembered Stephano taking him to the Tower of London and discussing the history of Henry VIII. John did not remember his parents. Stephano said they were killed when he was four years old. John spent his childhood traveling with tutors, meeting Stephano all over the world. When he was twelve Simon came to live with them. He was to be John’s companion. The story was that Simon had been a homeless eleven year old abandoned by his mother in London. Simon never spoke of his life before coming to live with them and John never asked. He knew, even at that age, that Stephano did things differently. Stephano had always treated John like an adult. Theirs’ was a relationship of mutual respect, not familial love. He saw to it that John, and then Simon had the finest education. They were privately tutored by some of the best educators in Europe. He also saw to it that they had no outside contact; no friends other then each other. John trusted only Stephano, then Simon. When John was twenty and Simon nineteen they became involved in Stephano’s business dealings. They both knew Stephano had a son named Anthony, but they never met him. Stephano did not want Tony involved in his illegal operations. Only John and Simon. They were completely loyal to him. They were trained marksmen; highly skilled in the martial arts. Emercing themselves into the darker side of Stephano’s life came so easily to them. All he had to do was ask. Of course that’s all he had to do. We knew no one else, had nowhere to go. He saw to that. John and Simon did all of Stephano’s dirty work. They stole rare works of art, paid-off government officials, sold weapons to terrorists….even killed. They had it down to a science. Simon was the lover: he could charm their way into any place. John was the fighter: he was without conscience when it came to completing an assignment. They did whatever was necessary to get the job done. They used whatever and whoever they had to, they did not care about anyone. John closed his eyes and began twisting his wedding ring. He tried to remember what Petrov had said. Who wanted The Pawn? The ISA, the KGB, Victor Kiriakis and…who else? What did he say “If they get you back, not even Stephano’s power could save the DiMera organization. Who was the fourth buyer? Who wanted me ‘back’? A knock at the door brought John back into his room.

“Come in,” he said. The door opened and Simon wheeled him in.

“Hello John.”

“Stephano…how are you?”

“Aha, I am much better for seeing you again. Come, come.” Stephano stretched his arms to embrace John. John leaned down and hugged him awkwardly. “Welcome home, John.”

“Thanks,” said John. “Good morning, Simon.” Simon had been standing in the doorway, watching.

“Well,” said Stephano, “we have so much to catch up on. John, I want to hear everything but Simon tells me our plane is ready. A bag has been packed for you. Anything else you need is in your suite at the estate. Simon, do you have the briefcase?” Simon handed Stephano a leather briefcase. “You’ll be happy to have these back I’m sure. Be downstairs as soon as possible. We must hurry. We will talk on the plane. Ahh John, it is so good to have you back! Come Simon.” John took the briefcase as Simon wheeled Stephano out of the room and shut the door.

“Was it wise to give him those things so soon, Stephano?” asked Simon.

“They are his belongings, Simon. He must be assured that he is not a prisoner. He is free to come and go. He will only stay if he knows he can leave. Don’t worry, Simon. I know what I am doing.” Simon hoped so.

John sat down on the bed and opened the briefcase. Inside he found several passports, two guns, his wallet, two bankbooks and a large amount of cash. Things that he left behind when Petrov kidnapped him. Stephano handed him exactly what he would need to leave. Why? John picked up his guns, instantly recognizing their feel. My guns. He opened the passports. One was John Black’s, the other two were forged. The bankbooks totaled a huge sum of money. Both were Swiss accounts. Payment for services rendered. He placed one gun back into the briefcase and walked out onto the balcony, still holding the other gun in his hand. He inhaled the mountain air and could smell her perfume. Lavender Skies. What am I going to do, Doc? How will I ever explain this to you? There was no explanation he could give her. Everything Roman Brady was saying was true. John was sure that Roman had told them everything by now. Everything that had happened up until Petrov kidnapped him. After that it’s our truth, Doc. It was never a lie. You’ll never know how much I love you. Do you hate me now? Do the kids hate me? The John Black who came to Salem did not deceive her; he did not lie to her. He would never lie to her. John could not help but laugh.

“Who am I kidding?” he said aloud. It could never be the same. Even if I found a way to explain, to make it up to them, we could never be together again. All the files in the world won’t change what I’ve done. Roman Brady will kill me the minute I step into Salem. I’ll never see her again. I’ll never see my kids again. He had to get a message to her. Tell her he was so sorry. Tell her he would always love her. Try to explain somehow. What can I say to them? There’s no way to explain what I did. I’ll never understand it, how can I expect her to? She hates me now…I love you so much Doc….

John looked down at the gun in his hand. He could do it. They all deserved to die for what they had done to her, to the family…to Roman. John could go downstairs and kill Stephano and Simon. Then he could kill himself. They should all rot in hell for what they have done. There will never be any forgiveness. God will never forgive them. She will never forgive me. If he killed them all then she would never have to worry about them again. She could rebuild her life. With Roman. He is her husband, not me. I am not Roman Brady. I am no one. All he had to do was pull the trigger and it would be over. John knew why Stephano gave him the briefcase. He knew John had nowhere to go. No where else he would be safe. His life was a prison Stephano created. The same prison he had been in since he was four years old. He never knew it before. Not until he met her. Not until he knew what love was. He could never go back to the life he led with Stephano. Not now. There was no escaping. There is one way. I could escape and free her, too. She will get on with her life. She is the strongest person I know. He closed his eyes and put the gun to his right temple. All he had to do was pull the trigger. I’ll never want anyone but you. I could never make love to anyone but you. Don’t you know that? No matter what, there could never be anyone else. He could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks. There was no other way out for either of them. I need you so much. Don’t leave me, don’t leave me…. John leaned on the railing. His mind was racing. The safety deposit boxes. What’s in those papers? Who sent them? Was the information even relevant to Stephano’s business dealings now? Those documents were years old. Maybe there were some answers there…. If only he could find out who else wanted The Pawn. Who was the fourth buyer? Who wanted him ‘back’ and why? John knew why the ISA, the KGB, and Victor Kiriakis all wanted The Pawn: the treasury notes in Stockholm. Who was the fourth buyer and what did he want? John put the gun down and looked out over the mountains. If he knew that, maybe he would have some answers. Some way to explain his life to her. If that didn’t work there was always the gun. John took a deep breath. He would go to Venezuela with Stephano and Simon. It would be a better starting point anyway. Safer then staying in this country, where he was a fugitive. Perhaps he could find some answers. It was a start…just maybe he was on to something.

***************

Carrie answered the phone on the first ring. “Hello?”

Silence.

“Hello? Is anyone there?….Daddy? Dad, is that you?” Marlena walked into the kitchen just then.

“Oh, Carrie!”

“Put Marlena on the phone please,” said the voice on the other line.

“Who is this?” asked Carrie.

“Carrie, please put Marlena on the phone.” Carrie suddenly realized who it was. She handed the phone to Marlena as the tears began so fall.

“Roman, honey?” said Marlena as she took the phone.

“Hi honey,” he said sarcastically, “wrong Roman. Sorry to disappoint you so early in the morning.” Marlena took a deep breath.

“Don’t worry about it. What can I do for you?” she asked.

“You can start by bringing my kids over. I want to see them.”

“That’s out of the question. It’s a school day,” Marlena said.

“No, Marlena. It is not ‘out of the question’. When you pick them up from school bring them here. If you don’t then I will come to the house to see them. It’s your choice.” Some choice.

“I need to discuss this with Carrie. I’ll let you know.” That was not good enough.

“I want to see my children today, Marlena. You can make this easy or difficult,” said Roman.

“I will call you back,” she hung up the phone and turned to Carrie, who was still crying.

“I don’t want to see him. You can’t make me see him! He is not my father. He is some crazy guy telling lies. I want my father!” Marlena pulled Carrie into her arms. Carrie put her head on Marlena’s shoulder and sobbed.

“It’s going to be OK, sweetie. It really is. It will be OK.” Marlena rubbed her back as Carrie tried to calm down.

“I don’t want to see him, Marlena.”

“Carrie, you may have to,” said Marlena. “Until we can prove otherwise, a lot of people believe he’s your Daddy. It might be easier to just see him, get it over with. If we go along with this then maybe it won’t be so bad. I’ll be there the whole time, I promise.” Carrie wiped her eyes and thought for a moment.

“All I have to do is see him? What about the twins? Do they have to see him, too?” Marlena nodded. “What will you tell them?” Carrie asked.

“The same thing I told you. All you have to do is see him. It doesn’t change anything and I will be right there the whole time.” Carrie let that sink in.

“OK. As long as you’re there, I’ll do it.”

“Thank you, sweetie,” Marlena hugged her. “I knew I could count on you.”

Marlena picked the kids up after school and took them to Donovan Manor. She had explained to the twins what was happening and showed that the picture of what Roman used to look like again.

“All he want’s to do is meet you. Just be polite, answer his questions. I’ll be right there. It will be fine.” Eric and Sami looked at each other in silent conversation.

“Can we have pizza for dinner?” Eric asked. Marlena laughed.

“Absolutely.”

Marlena led them into the living room to find him waiting for them. Shawn and Caroline were upstairs with Kimberly and her children. Marlena held Sami’s hand as the children stared at this stranger; this man who was telling everyone he was their father, wondering when the awkward moment would end. Roman smiled at them nervously, forgetting everything he wanted to say.

“Hi, kids. Boy, you all look great. You’re so big. Hi, Carrie.” The children said nothing to him. Carrie looked down, refusing to make eye contact with him. Roman looked at Marlena. She shrugged. What did you expect? Did you think they would believe you? Marlena told Carrie and the twins to sit down.

“This is pretty wierd, huh?” Roman said. “I know this must be hard for you to understand. I want you guys to know that you can talk to me anytime you have a question. I’ll tell you the truth, I promise.” Carrie looked up at Marlena wide-eyed. Marlena shot him a warning look. Don’t you dare…..

“Eric, how did that baseball game go at lunchtime?” Marlena asked. She knew she had to change the direction of this little meeting quickly.

“Mrs.. Burke’s class was toast. We won 7 – 2. It was awesome.”

“Can I have a drink, Mommy?” asked Sami.

“I’ll get you a drink. What would you like, Sami?” Roman asked. Sami looked at him.

“That’s OK. I’m not thirsty anymore,” she said. Roman looked down at his hands. Maybe Carrie would cut him some slack.

“So Carrie, how is high school? Sophomore year, huh?” Carrie wouldn’t even look at him.

“Yeah…sophomore year.”

“Hey Mom, can we go find Andrew? I want to play Nintendo.” They twins stood up, ready to bolt. Marlena smiled at them and nodded.

“Sure baby, I think he’s upstairs. Go on.” Carrie stood up and grabbed her backpack.

“I’m going to get a drink. I’ll be outside.” Carrie turned to leave without ever acknowleding Roman.

“Bye, Carrie,” he called to her. She never looked back. Roman sat back on the couch and stared at Marlena, barely able to contain his anger. She met his gaze and never wavered.

“What?”

“What did you say to them, Marlena? Did you tell them I’m some confused nutcase who’s imagining this whole thing? Why didn’t you tell them I’m their father?”

“Why would I tell them that? I don’t know that. You’ve had your chance to tell your side of the story. Any boy, it’s some story. Until I hear from Roman – the man I believe to be Roman – that’s all this is, a story you’re telling.” He stood up, facing her, again struck by the passion in her eyes when she spoke of him….the man she loved. Did she ever look that way when we were together? Did she love me like she loves him?

“Those kids are going to have to accept the truth. You think you’re doing them a favor by postponing this? You’re only going to hurt them more. If you continue to do this then I will have bloodtests done to prove to them that I am their father. Do you want to put them through that? They need to hear the truth and they need to hear it from you!” He could no longer contain his anger. Marlena gathered the twins coats in her arms and turned to him.

“You insisted on seeing them today. So you saw them. What did you expect? Did you think they would throw their arms around you? You can threaten me with all the bloodtests you want. They can’t pretend something they don’t feel.”

“Neither can you, right Doc?” Marlena’s eyes locked with his.

“No, I can’t.” She turned and left the room, twisting her wedding rings nervously. She was letting him push all her buttons. I have to stop arguing with him. Roman will explain everything. She knew she had to get past her anger towards him. It wasn’t helping her children and they had to be her priority. Marlena had to keep her family together for Roman, until her husband came home.

***************

Stephano’s plane left the United States without incident. They arrived in Venezuela and were at the Caracas estate by nightfall. The trio had an interesting conversation on the plane. John was filled in on all the details of Stephano’s recovery and Roman’s captivity. It took all the self-control he had not to kill them both right then. Maybe the plane will crash and end this once and for all. Simon told John that by the time Stephano was stabilized from the hearth attack, The Pawn was already in the Kiriakis mansion with Victor. Simon had gone to Salem to get him but it was impossible. Killing Petrov was a small victory. Not being able to get John back was devastating. Stephano had videos of John’s life in Salem from almost the beginning. They had documented he life for six years. They knew everything about him, Marlena, his kids. John struggled to stay calm and detached. By the time he got to his suite of rooms at the estate he thought his head would explode. He tried to keep his mind focused. How am I going to get back to her? I have to get back to her. They’ve been watching us, taping us……are the still taping her? What’s he got planned for her? Stephano expected John to join them for dinner. He would watch and wait. Maybe staying for a few days wasn’t such a bad idea……….

Days turned into weeks and still nothing. Marlena had not heard from him at all, he never even tried to contact her. The ISA had no leads. The Salem PD had ordered the river dredged in case he was dead. Nothing. John Black left Donovan Manor and disappeared into the night. He was gone. Marlena had gradually resumed consulting at the hospital but had not been seeing patients on a regular basis. As suspected, Simon Cole disappeared as well. She knew he was involved in all of this. He was looking for information…on me, on my family. He was at Chez Vous watching us. The days passed by as she did all she could to keep the children busy. Roman had moved with his parents and still insisted on visits with them. It was always the same; he talked and they listened, answered his questions. They never engaged him in any conversation and were always eager to end their visits. Carrie would not even look at him. Marlena still refused to tell them anything other then what she had already, despite Roman’s threatened paternity tests. Sometimes she wondered if she had made a mistake. What if she was wrong? What if he never came back? No, he would not leave me…something or someone is keeping him away… Sometimes, when Roman came to visit the kids, she felt her resolve weakening. He could be Roman…No….he’s obviously been through an awful ordeal, maybe he was brainwashed. What if he is Roman….what if John Black has been lying to me all along…No, no, no…. She knew the family, Abe, the Horton’s all thought she was being unrealistic. Shane and Abe had tried to speak to her on several occasions about accepting the truth – their truth.

“Marlena, I know this is hard for you. Try to see this from Roman’s point of view,” said Shane.

“Roman is missing, Shane! That is not my husband.”

She was determined not to betray the man she loved; she would wait forever. Only Bo agreed with her. Bo refused to acknowledge this man everyone believed to be Roman Augustus Brady. As if there wasn’t enough tension in the Brady family, Bo would not even be in the same room with him. Kimberly and Kayla ran interference for everyone while Caroline and Hope attempted to keep their respective spouses from killing each other. Roman watched it all, become more angry and bitter by the day. He was stuck in limbo; his children ignored him, his wife refused to accept the truth, and most of the people from his past looked at him as though he was the impostor. Poor John Black was the victim. Bastard. He felt every day was a constant battle to get his life back. He had made plans to join the force again. His leg had healed pretty well and he qualified on the firing range. All that was left was the paperwork.

Bo had been finishing the report on an arrest the previous night. He knocked on Abe’s door and opened it to find the DA Denis Clark and Roman inside.

“We knew this was going to happen. Do you realize how many cases this will affect. My office is flooded with appeals from petty criminals right up to Rafi Torres We don’t have the time or the money to retry every one of these cases! Damnit! I can’t believe we let this happen. The ISA should have done something. They should have warned us!” said Clark. Every case that John Black had touched as Cmdr. Roman Brady was being reviewed. Virtually everyone he put behind bars had hired a lawyer. Many of those convictions would wind up overturned or thrown out all together. The possible dismissal of the Torres case was of particular concern to both the Salem PD and the DA’s office.

“Black fooled everyone. It was exactly what Stephano DiMera paid him to do,” said Roman. “I should have killed that son-of-a-bitch that night!” Abe, who had been named Acting Police Commander, saw Bo in the doorway and tried to head-off the impending confrontation.

“Bo, what can I do for you?” asked Abe.

“Don’t you ever get tired of it, man?” Bo said to Roman without looking at him.

“Excuse me? Are you actually speaking to me?” asked Roman. “Gee, this is an honor.”

“If you weren’t in my face again saying the same shit then I wouldn’t have to speak to you. What’s going on in here, Abe?”

“Well,” began Abe.

“It looks as though many of the arrests John Black made while posing as your brother may be overturned. A nice parting gift to us after his escape,” said the DA.

“He didn’t escape!” yelled Bo. “Abe, you know when he comes back this-“

“Here we go again. When are you going to wake up, Bo? It’s over! John Black’s game is over. You and Marlena better start facing reality. This crap about him coming back and saving the day is getting old. I’m getting real tired of this nonsense. You’re pushing it, little brother!” yelled Roman.

“I’m pushing it?” said Bo. Abe got up from his desk and stood between the Brady brothers. Bo leaned around him to yell at Roman. “You’re pushing it, man! You think you can talk your way back into her life? She knows the truth. I know the truth. Those kids know the truth. You’re the only one playing games!” Denis Clark stepped in front of Roman, not knowing what to do but figuring he’d better do something before they came to blows right there.

“Lt.. Brady please,” began the DA, “the Salem Police Department and the DA’s Office -“

“…are a bunch of morons!” screamed Bo. “You people believe this clown over the best damn cop you ever had runnin’ this place! I’ve had it, Abe. I’m outta here!” Bo threw his badge and his gun on the desk and slammed the door as he left.

***************

John walked the grounds of the estate, going over his plans one more time. All he needed was an opening. The events of the past weeks and years played through his head again and again. He couldn’t believe Petrov had actually done it. They had taken every memory of his life, such as it was, and gave him someone else’s.

It wasn’t much of a life to lose. Doing Stephano’s dirty work. I was his pawn long before Petrov got a hold of me. Bastards. They should have killed me. Jesus…what have I done? How am I going to get out of here?He really was The Pawn. He was no one. He had only planned to be in Caracas a few days, but the days ran into weeks as he gathered information. Since he avoided sleep at all costs, John had actually accomplished a great deal. He spent most nights going over what he was remembering and looking up whatever he could on the computer. He had learned to organize his thoughts so when the memories started to rush at him, which they often did, he was prepared. It was his own mental filing system. He had to seperate John Black’s memories from Roman Brady’s. It was the only way his plan would work. John had to stop thinking and feeling like Roman Brady. He needed to be John Black, to think and act like John Black if he was ever going to get the answers he needed. And he needed answers. When he had it all figured out he would go to her and tell her everything. Then he would turn himself in to the ISA. Killing himself was the coward’s way out. He had to face the consequences of what he had done. He looked down at the wedding ring he still wore on his left hand, twisting it. Marlena, please forgive me. Please don’t hate me. He was barely able to make it through the day without her. Nights were another story. John fought sleep as much as possible but when his body finally succumbed the dreams were unbearable. Sometimes he dreamed Marlena was calling him and he couldn’t find her. Other times they would be making love and then she would be in Roman’s arms, screaming how she hated him. Or else the kids would be crying, screaming as he handed Marlena over to Stephano. No matter what the dream he always woke in a cold sweat, wanting nothing more then to roll over and find her sleeping next to him. John knew that would never happen. Not ever again. As he entered the garden he heard Stephano on the phone.

“Very good. Tell Mohammed we will be there tomorrow. Yes, I have made the arrangements.” Stephano hung up the phone when he saw John.

“Going somewhere?” asked John.

“Yes. We all are. We need to go to Saudi Arabia for a meeting.”

“Do you need both of us?” asked John, trying to sound disinterested. He just found his opening. Stephano watched him closely.

“Do you have other plans?”

“I’m really not in the mood for and assignment, Stephano,” shrugged John.

“I think coming to Saudi Arabia with Simon and I is just what you need, John. Involve yourself in something new. You’ll like this one, trust me.”

“I think I’ll pass, if you don’t mind,” said John. Stephano knew exactly what John was doing.

“As you wish then. Stay here and relax. You can join us when you’re ready.” Simon entered the garden in time to hear this last comment.

“Join us where?” he asked.

“You and I are going to Saudi Arabia, Simon. We have a meeting. John will join us later.” Simon looked at Stephano and then at John.

“You’re not coming?” he asked John, unable to mask the surprise in his voice. John looked at Simon and looked away.

“Maybe later,” John said as he left the garden. Simon and Stephano watched him go inside.

“You don’t really think he’s going to stay here, do you?” asked Simon. Stephano laughed.

“No, Simon. John has no intention of staying here. I’m sure he’ll be gone by tomorrow night.”

“And you’re allowing this? I don’t understand.”

“I told you he is not a prisoner here. You have both always been free to come and go, Simon. John obviously feels he has to do this. We have to let him. It does not matter what he finds out. When all is said and done he will be back.”

“How can you be sure?” asked Simon. “You see how he is. He is so withdrawn, more then he used to be. He walks the grounds all day. He still wears that damn wedding ring! He’s obviously planning to get in touch with her. Don’t you think that’s going to present a problem?”

“Simon, I know what’s been going on,” said Stephano. “Of course he wants to get in touch with her. It is impossible. The more he finds out, the more determined he’ll be to stay away from her. It’s all coming back to him, Simon. He is not the man she loved. He never will be. He will come back because he has nowhere else to go.” Simon thought about that for a moment. It was true enough. Where else could John go?

“Have you taken care of that situation in Salem?” asked Stephano.

“Yes,” said Simon. “They will be taken care of.”

***************

Marlena had rented a video for the kids but they weren’t interested in watching it. Carrie had retreated to her room, as usual. Sami had buried herself in a book and Eric stared at the ballgame on TV. Shawn, Abe and Bo had all offered to take him to the Cubs opening day game. Marlena still had the tickets. She had even offered to take him. He said no to all of them. If it wasn’t going to be with his dad then he wasn’t going with anyone. Marlena did her best to cheer him up but he really wasn’t in the mood for another pep talk. Truth be told, she really wasn’t up to giving one. The longer he stayed away, the harder it was to keep repeating herself. How could you stay away? What have they done to you? Are you his prisoner now? When everyone was finally in bed Marlena sat down to a cup of tea. Tom Horton had asked her when she would be resuming her patient load. She couldn’t imagine handling that schedule but what else could she do? She had put her life on hold for weeks while she waited. I’ll wait forever. It was after 10:00 pm when the doorbell rang. Bo was standing on the front step staring into the night when she opened the front door.

“Hi you. Come on in,” she said.

“Hey, Marlena. Thanks.” He went into the living room and stopped in front of the mantle. It was covered with pictures of their family, the kids, Christmas. He had to look away.

“Did you eat, Bo? What can I get you?” Marlena asked. “Want a beer?” “Yeah, a beer sounds good.” He followed her into the kitchen and sat on the counter. She handed him a beer and sat at the table with her cup of tea.

“Bad day?” Marlena asked.

“You could say that,” said Bo. He looked at her and then looked down. “I handed in my badge today.” Marlena watched him. His despair broke her heart. Oh Roman, this is tearing him apart!

“Why is that, Bo?”

“You know I couldn’t work there anymore…” said Bo, shaking his head in frustration. “What the hell is going on, Marlena? Where is he? He didn’t just disappear!”

“I’ve been wondering about that myself, Bo. I think we may have to start facing some facts,” she said. Bo jumped down from the counter.

“Don’t tell me you’re starting to believe this crap! Marlena, come on – “

“No, Bo. I’m not believing anything until I talk to my husband. But we need to be realistic. We have heard nothing. There are no leads. Not for the ISA, not for the police. What if he can’t get in touch with us? I’m sure Simon Cole Bennett, or whatever his name is, has something to do with his disappearance. He could be their prisoner now, just like Ro…” She stopped herself before she said it. Her eyes locked with Bo’s.

“You think he’s Roman, don’t you?” asked Bo. Marlena began twisting her wedding ring.

“I think something terrible happened. I think all these unanswered questions are tearing this family apart. I don’t know what to do, Bo. But I think we have to do something.” Bo hated to ask her but he had to.

“Do you think he’s dead?”

“Absolutely not,” said Marlena. “I’d know if he were dead.” Bo understood. He nodded his head.

“Me, too. Do you think that the ISA is right? This guy really is Roman?” Bo had not wanted to admit it to himself. Admitting it meant they were wrong. Terribly wrong.

“What do you think, Bo? Do you think he’s Roman?” she asked. Bo looked down at his boots and shrugged, not knowing what to say. “Maybe we can’t face it because it changes everything….everything except how we feel.” Marlena had spent weeks thinking about the possibility. She was married to one man for a year and a half, the other for six years. Which one was her husband now? What if he really was John Black? Did it really matter? Did it change how she felt about him? Did it make him any less her husband? Their father? Bo killed what was left of his beer and sat down across from her at the table.

“I don’t know, Marlena….I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. He’s my brother…”

“Which one, Bo? Which one feels like your brother?” Bo could feel the tears brimming his eyes.

“John,” he whispered. “John is my brother.” Marlena’s tears were falling freely now.

“And he’s my husband, Bo. We can’t change the past. We may have made mistakes but no one said life was fair. We did the best we could. We can’t change how we feel. He would do anything for us, Bo. We owe it to him.” Bo looked at her, a faint smile on his lips. Marlena smiled back.

“He would, wouldn’t he?” asked Bo. She nodded.

“This isn’t about who is or isn’t Roman Brady. Not to us. Not to you and me, Bo.” Marlena said with a renewed sense of conviction. Bo nodded his agreement, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He hadn’t been able to express what he was feeling. Marlena knew.

“OK,” he said. “Where should we start? We can’t go to Abe or Shane. The ISA is watching this so close.”

“If only we knew someone who could help us,” said Marlena. Bo remembered the conversation they had on the pier. Let me know if there’s anything I can do…anything at all. Please let me help. Bo jumped up and kissed her on the forehead.

“I think I might know someone. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Marlena watched him go out the back door. She looked up at the clock and sighed. She hated the nights. She hated going into their bedroom so she put off sleep as much as possible. Tonight she was exhausted. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

‘That is the true season of love…..when we believe that we alone can love…’ ” I love you so much, Roman.”

She could feel his arms around her. It was the safest feeling in the world. “I love you so much, Doc….always….forever.” He kissed her eyes, her nose. She could feel his warm lips touch hers. Mmmmm

The water was so cold she could barely breath. She could feel herself being pulled under….she was drowning….”Roman help me!!! Rooommaaan!”

Marlena sat straight up in the bed, covered in a mixture of cold sweat and tears. The nausea was overwhelming. She barely made it to the bathroom to empty the sparse contents of her stomach into the toilet. It had been the same routine several times a day for over two weeks. She sat back against the wall and pulled a towel down to wipe her face. There was a soft knock on the door.

“Are you OK, Marlena?”

“Yes, Carrie. I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute. I’m OK, sweetie.” She closed her eyes and remembered the last time they made love. The morning after his terrible dream. He was so scared, so afraid of losing her. They should have known. Counting backwards, Marlena figured she was about six weeks pregnant.

Bo walked into the Titan Publishing building the next morning and was impressed. It was Victor’s latest attempt at legitimate business and the complex was massive. He got on the elevator and remembered his conversation with Hope that morning. She had not been pleased that he quit his job, but she understood his frustration. Bo had always wanted to start his own detective agency, now he had a reason and the time. He knew there was no way he could work at the copshop if Roman was going to be there. Roman. Bo shook his head. He could not believe what had happened to their lives. He could not believe he was actually going to Victor for help. Marlena was right. They needed to find someone who could help them. They couldn’t go to Abe or Shane. They had no choice. It had to be Victor. Bo got of the elevator and walked towards the suite that was Victor’s office. Bo saw him talking to his secretary, both of them turning when they heard him approaching.

“Bo,” said Victor. “Good morning. I’m glad you came by.” Victor was pleasantly surprised to see his son, but he was no fool. Something must be wrong. Bo would never come to see me, otherwise. “Come in, please. Diane, we’ll have some coffee.” Bo followed Victor into his office. Again, Bo was impressed. Victor had impeccable taste. “What brings you here this morning, Bo?” Victor asked as he made himself comfortable on one of the leather sofas. Bo looked down awkwardly. He knew how Bo felt about him so there was no point making small talk. Bo would only go to Victor as a last resort and they both knew it.

“We need your help. You said if there was anything you could do….” Victor saw how difficult it was for Bo to ask for anything and he was filled with regret. He would do anything his son asked.

“Please sit down, Bo. Who is ‘we’?”

“Me and Marlena,” said Bo as he sat on the other couch, facing Victor. A knock on the door let them know Diane had their coffee.

“What is it you and Marlena need?” Victor asked as soon as she left.

“We need to find John Black.” Bo’s words shocked Victor.

“John Black? Are you telling me you and Marlena believe what the ISA is saying? I am surprised Bo. I had heard that the two of you were the lone hold-outs in the Brady family.”

“We don’t believe the ISA! I don’t believe John was lying to us while my brother was trapped in Stephano’s prison!” Bo took a deep breath. “We need to talk to John. Marlena needs him. He is the only one who can give us any answers.”

“I am surprised he has not tried to contact anyone. Not even Marlena?” asked Victor. Bo shook his head. “It does not surprise me that he has eluded the ISA, but I certainly thought he would have contacted one of you.”

“Me, too,” said Bo. “I think he would if he could. Marlena thinks something or someone is preventing him from contacting us. It’s possible that he is Stephano’s prisoner now. Marlena had this patient, this Simon Cole or Bennett guy. She thinks he’s involved somehow. We need to find out what happened after John left Shane’s that night. He couldn’t have just disappeared.” Victor thought about what Bo was saying. There was another possibility.

“Bo, I know you and Marlena may not want to hear this, but there is a very real possibility that John Black is dead. Stephano, this Simon person, or the government could have killed him. We may never know.”

“No,” said Bo. “I don’t think he’s dead and neither does Marlena. She would know, Victor.” Looking at his son, Victor understood. He had seen John and Marlena together enough over the past six years to understand. They had a rare love, a rare connection felt by anyone in their company. People searched for that kind of love all their lives. Bo had found it. Victor had that once. And lost it. He would help his son.

“What do you need, Bo?” Bo sat down, realizing he was about to make a deal with the enemy. Don’t think about it. My brother needs me. This is the only way.

“We need to find him. I’m pretty sure that if this Simon guy was here so was Stephano. We need to see if a private plane left around six weeks ago. We need to know where it went. I think they may have grabbed him that night.”

“We should be able to find that out. I have never believed that Stephano DiMera was dead, but I have not heard otherwise. I will find out. Anything else?” Victor knew there was more Bo needed.

“You were involved in bringing The Pawn to Salem,” Bo began. This was harder then he thought. “I need to know what that was all about, Victor.”

“I was one of several parties interested in The Pawn. I believe Petrov said there were four potential buyers. I was told that he was Roman Brady. Of course, my interest in him at that time was for the information on the Stockholm bonds. Let me get you the files. It will be much easier.”

Bo could not believe Victor had given him the files on The Pawn. They spent the morning going over all the information Victor had on John Black, Stephano DiMera, the Stockholm bonds, and the ISA. Bo made a list of the information he needed.

“I think I should have some answers for you by the end of the week, Bo. It probably isn’t wise for you to come here again. I’m sure the ISA is watching you now. What are your plans? Are you still considering private detective work?” Victor asked.

“Yeah. I told Hope I was going to apply for my PI license today.”

“Well, I have some office space on River St. You’re welcome to it if you like. Don’t worry, the owner is listed as a holding company. There’s nothing in my name.” Bo felt embarrassed after all that Victor had done to help him.

“That’s OK. I’ll take a look at it. Do you want me to call you in a few days?” asked Bo.

“You’ll hear from me. I’ll get in touch with you.” Bo stood facing Victor, one of the men he hated most for such a long time, not knowing what to say.

“Well, thanks a lot….you don’t have to do all of this….” Bo stammered.

“Yes, I do,” said Victor. “I want to help you, Bo. You are my son. I know how difficult it was for you to come here today. I have regretted my part in the Stockholm affair for quite some time. This is my chance to make amends. You don’t owe me anything, Bo.”

“You don’t owe me anything either, Victor. You could have said ‘no’. You could have told me to get lost. You didn’t. Thanks a lot.” Father and son faced each other, seeing each other in a new light. “Well, I’ll wait to hear from you then,” said Bo as he walked towards the door.

“Fine,” said Victor as he watched his son leave. He closed the door behind him. Since Stockholm, Bo had never asked anything of Victor, other then to be left alone. He would do whatever he could to help his son. Just maybe….. Victor smiled at the prospects.

***************

As soon as Simon and Stephano left the Caracas estate John packed his things. A couple of changes of clothes, his guns, passports and his notes. He had more then enough money and there was money in the safe deposit box. He needed to get to the airport that evening. He would buy a ticket to Mexico City on a commercial airline using one of his fake passports. The ISA had no idea what alias’ he used. Of course, Stephano would be able to find him in a minute. John had realized Stephano was on to him. Why is he just letting me go? He knows I’m out of here the minute they leave Venezuela. He could not worry about that. If Stephano wanted him dead, he’d be dead. John was more concerned with keeping the ISA off his tail. He was surprised they had not found him already. He would have to be on his toes. Once he got to Mexico City he would get a car. John prayed the safe deposit key would still be there. He hadn’t been there in over seven years; he hoped the town was still there!

John got his ticket and boarded the plane with no problem. He sat back in the seat and closed his eyes. He was finally alone. He had felt alone since the night he left Shane’s house. I am alone. I have no one. Now he was really alone; no one to answer to, no reason to put on an act for anyone. John could finally focus on what happened to him. Who was he? Was he the heartless mercenary who did Stephano DiMera’s dirty work? Was he Roman Brady, devoted family man and police commander? I am not Roman Brady. I never was. I feel more like Roman Brady then anyone. Stop – stay focused. John would follow the trail he left behind all those years ago. Those documents were of no interest to him then. He did not care what the information said about Stephano. John was loyal to Stephano and would never betray him. Still, John did hide the papers. He did not look at them, but he did not turn them over to Stephano, either. What did they say? He would know soon enough. There had to be a reason someone kept sending him those files. He had left them in different places, more out of boredom then interest….just passing time back then. Now the search would keep him busy. As long as he was busy he didn’t think about them, about her. I can’t stop thinking about them. What is she doing? Is she OK? How are my kids? Did she go back to Roman? Is he living with them? Is she sleeping with him? John shook his head. He could not let himself think about that now. The very idea of Marlena in Roman’s bed made him want to scream, to kill someone. Preferably himself. If he thought about them together he would get nothing accomplished. He had to be John Black. He had to think, act, and feel like John Black. John Black needed no one. Especially not a beautiful, intelligent…. Stop! Don’t think about her. I can’t think about her. John stared out the window as the plane took off.

***************

Roman slammed the door behind him as he walked into Abe’s office. Abe was on the phone and looked up at him, shaking his head.

“Sorry,” said Roman. Great. Piss the boss off now. He had been walking the docks all morning. Kimberly had come to the fish market and he wound up fighting with her and his mother. Caroline and Kimberly were trying to talk to him about Marlena and the kids but he’d heard it all before. Roman had been home for over six weeks and he was still treated like a stranger by his family. He had heard about all the trials and tribulations. The weddings and births. Steve Johnson’s death. The truth about his mother and Victor Kiriakis had been particularly upsetting to him. He had a difficult time discussing it with the family, shocked at how nobody seemed to care. Life went on without him for seven years and he couldn’t jump back in. His loving, devoted wife was so blinded by her belief in that bastard Black that she virtually brainwashed his kids. Why is she doing this? Just because she doesn’t love me anymore doesn’t mean she has to lie to my kids. Caroline and Kimberly wanted him to give Marlena and the kids more time.

“You have to understand Roman, she lived with him for six year,” said Kim. “They share an incredible history, no matter what his name is.”

“I am her husband, Kim! John Black is not her husband. It was all a lie,” said Roman. “He is not their father.”

“Roman, dear, put yourself in her shoes,” said Caroline.

“What? I think it’s time someone put themselves in my shoes! I spent seven years trying to fight my way out of hell only to find the people I tried so hard to get back to would just as soon I hadn’t bothered!” Roman was tired of waiting to get his life back. He was tired of giving everyone time to adjust. He was just plain tired of everything.

“OK. I’ll call Dolan at the 86th in Manhattan. I don’t know. I expect so. Thanks.” Abe hung up the phone and looked at Roman.

“What? What happened?” Roman could tell that having people slam into his office unannounced was the least of Abe’s problems.

“That was Owen Thomas, warden at the state prison. Rafi Torres was found hanging in his cell an hour ago. Luis was knifed in the courtyard.”

“What! You think it was a hit?” asked Roman.

“I have to call Dolan in New York. He still handles the organized crime unit there. I’ll have to see what he has. The Torres arrest was up for review the week. Damnit! This is such a mess! I can’t believe it,” said Abe. He was tired of dealing with the Police Review Board. Tired of answering their questions about every case John Black was involved in. John was a damn good cop, no matter what his name was. Those arrests were clean and everyone knows it. They are letting these dirtbags walk on a technicality. Abe had read the files on John Black. He knew what the ISA suspected. He heard what Roman said. Still, Abe couldn’t forget the man who had been his best friend, his partner. He wanted to hear what John had to say.

“Just another piece of John Black’s handiwork. I figure we’ll be cleaning up his mess for a long time, Abe,” said Roman. Abe slammed down the phone before he finished dialing.

“You know what, you’re beginning to sound like a broken record Roman! I know this is hard for you, but it’s hard for all of us. I could do without your constant commentary if you don’t mind. As much as you don’t want to hear this, John was a damn good cop! This department ran great under his command. His cops respected him and he respected them. It’s no wonder Bo quit! You’re not making this easy for any of us.” Roman was shocked by Abe’s outburst. He stammered for a moment.

“I…I’m sorry Abe. It’s…”

“No,” said Abe, regretting his harsh words. “Look, it’s been a bad day and I haven’t even had breakfast yet. I’m sorry Roman. I didn’t mean to jump all over you. I know it’s harder for you then anyone. I’m sorry.” Roman watched Abe. Without saying it, he could see that Abe missed John, too. Abe and Roman had been partners for years until John changed everything. He even stole my best friend. Roman couldn’t look at Abe.

“I’ll let you get back to work,” said Roman as he headed for the door. Abe felt terrible but didn’t have the time to go after Roman. It didn’t matter. Roman had reached his limit. He was a man on a mission and he had someone to see.

John paid cash for a used convertible in Mexico City. He decided to check into a hotel and get a little sleep before he started the drive north. Saltillo was about 400 miles north of Mexico City in north-central Mexico. John had left the first set of documents in a safe deposit box in the Banco del Mexico. All he had to do was get the key. Exhausted, he threw his duffel bag into the corner of his room, collapsed on the bed and pulled his hat over his eyes. He had fought sleep for so long that it came quickly.

John opened the door of his hotel room to find a package lying on the floor. He and Simon had been in Acapulco for a few days, kicking back after a particularly rough assignment. Simon had spent the night with the woman he met, as usual. John came back to his room; he didn’t make a habit of spending the night. Too many questions in the morning. Simon was always able to sweet talk his way through that, but John couldn’t be bothered.

John picked up the package and brought it inside. There was a note attached to a thick manila envelope:

THINGS ARE NOT AS THEY SEEM. YOU HAVE BEEN DECEIVED.

John looked at the note for a moment and went back out into the hallway to look around. Who left this? Back inside, he opened the manila envelope and flipped through the pages. He saw Stephano’s name, numbers, dates…a bunch of nonsense. It wasn’t the first time he’d been approached about his relationship with Stephano. There had been several anonymous warnings for him to watch his back. This was the first time anyone actually gave him documents. John threw them on the table and went to take a shower.

Whenever he had something on his mind, John drove. It let him clear his head of all the clutter. After a few days in Acapulco, he told Simon he needed a drive. Before he knew it, he found himself halfway across Mexico, in a little town called Saltillo. He sat in his room above the cantina staring at the envelope. He had no reason to doubt Stephano. He knew what happened to his family and why he was sent to live with Stephano. If not for his father’s friendship with Stephano, John would have been an orphan. Stephano told him everything. They trusted each other completely. Still….. John went to the only bank in the little town and brought a safe deposit box. He left the documents and a large amount of cash inside and stashed the key. Just in case………

John finally woke up six hours later. The sleep deprivation had caught up with him. He grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the bathroom. For the first time in weeks he took notice of his reflection in the mirror. Who was this man staring back at him? The beard had grown in nicely. A few gray hairs here and there, but it covered his handsome face well and gave him a rugged appearance. He had been in desperate need of a haircut before he left Salem, now his dark hair hung past his shoulders. Underneath his cowboy hat were the unmistakable blue eyes, windows to his soul. In those eyes he saw all he had lost. He looked completely different from the man whose past had finally caught up with him that night. How could I have lived that life for six years and not known. What did they do to me? How the hell did I wind up here? John knew he had to find the answers. The change in his physical appearance would make it that much easier. He grabbed his duffel bag and his keys and headed for Saltillo.

***************

Marlena was exhausted. She had forgotten how tiring the first trimester could be. Kimberly had offered to take the children roller-skating in the park and Marlena was thrilled that they wanted to go, even Carrie. She finally finished the laundry, paid some bills and made a grocery list. She sat back into the couch and stared at the phone. Make the appointment. It has to be soon so just call her. Marlena knew she had to see her OB soon. She need to verify her due date, which she put somewhere around December 1st. She also wanted to start her prenatal vitamins. Maybe then she wouldn’t be so tired. Marlena picked up the phone and dialed Dr. Morgan’s office.

“Hi, this is Dr. Evans. Is Dr. Morgan in?” Elizabeth Morgan picked up the phone.

“Marlena, how are you?” She had been Marlena’s doctor for years. Their colleagues at the hospital had been so concerned about Marlena these past weeks, Elizabeth was thrilled to hear from her.

“I’m fine, thanks. I do need an appointment as soon as possible, though.”

“Is everything alright, Marlena?”

“Yes,” said Marlena. “I just need to see you right away. And Elizabeth, could we arrange something privately?” Marlena did not want anyone at the hospital to know she was seeing Elizabeth Morgan.

“Why don’t we meet in my office tomorrow at 8:30 am?” suggested Dr. Morgan.

“That would be great. I’ll see you then. Thanks so much.” Marlena hung up the phone, relieved to finally have made the appointment. She had suspected she was pregnant for a few weeks, she was just afraid to admit it to herself. We’re having a baby. You have to come home. I need you. How will I tell them? She dreaded telling the Brady’s. As if things weren’t bad enough. She knew this pregnancy would be hard for them, still, in her heart she was thrilled. Overjoyed. Oh Commander…we’re having a baby! They talked about having more children all the time, it just didn’t happen. Why now? It must be a sign. No matter what happened she would never let anything happen to his child. Their child. I love you so much. This baby is part of that love. She would find a way to tell the family. The kids would probably be happy. Kayla, Kimberly, Hope…..they would all be supportive. What would she say to Roman? Roman. He is Roman Brady. She wasn’t sure exactly when she realized it but she knew it was true, even before she spoke with Bo. He was the man she fell madly in love with ten years earlier. He was the funny, shy, loving man who was her hero. I loved you so much…. He was the man who put his job first time and time again. Leaving her on their honeymoon….leaving her when they had just brought two beautiful babies home….always leaving her. Leaving her alone to protect those babies from that madman. Chasing the bad guys, saving the world. It cost them everything. She closed her eyes and thought about how different they were. For as long as she had known John, really from that first day at Shenanigan’s, he put her first. John never left her alone. Marlena was his number one priority. Her protection, her safety, her happiness….she was everything to him. Being with him was the most incredible feeling she had ever known. Marlena had never felt more secure, loved or protected then when she was with John. Even during the bad times, with Orpheus and Vaughn, he was there, looking for her. It had nothing to do with his name or what expectations came with it; all that mattered was her.

Marlena knew that if Roman had not left her to go after Stephano when that plane crashed that they would have stayed together, would still be together. Why did you leave me? Was it to save Bo and Anna? Or was is to get Stephano? She would have played second-fiddle to his job, but she would have lived with it. They probably would have had more children. Planned their future together and lived somewhat happily-ever-after. If Roman had stayed with his family she never would have met John Black. But Roman left. She did meet John. They could not change the past. No matter what happened Marlena knew she owed Roman an apology. I am so sorry for all that happened to you, to us. He had been through hell. What happened to him was beyond evil, beyond cruel. She had shared a life with him; he’d given her Carrie as well as two beautiful babies. He was their father and deserved their love and respect. She would find a way to explain it to the children and help them deal with their feelings. At the end of the day, lots of kids had two fathers who loved them. She knew some excellent family therapists who could help them deal with this. It was obvious that Roman loved them, he had been trying so hard to reach them. He hadn’t given up, yet she had done nothing to help him. That would change now. Oh Roman I should have helped you. I’m so sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes. We’ll find a way to work it out. Marlena began twisting her wedding ring. She would have to talk to Mickey about her marital situation. I guess John and I…John…..aren’t legally married. I don’t care… She would probably have to divorce Roman. It did not matter if she never saw John Black again, her marriage to Roman Brady was over. It wasn’t about love; a part of her would always love him, what they had together, and he would always be their father. It was about life, the life she shared with John. She was not the same woman Roman had married ten years ago and she could never go back. Not that he would want me.

Marlena pulled the blanket around her as she pulled her feet up on the sofa. This baby was concieved for a reason….I know we’ll be together. You said it yourself, ” I love you, I know you love me. The force has not been created that can ever change that.” I can’t wait to tell you about our baby. Marlena fell asleep in the warm embrace of overwhelming love for her unborn child.

A loud knock at the door woke her up an hour later Startled, Marlena jumped from the sofa to answer it. She found Roman standing on the other side, staring at her.

“I’ve been knocking for ten minutes! Where were you?”

“I fell asleep. Come in,” she said, opening the door so he could enter the home they once shared. He walked into the living room, surveying the field.

“Where are my children?” he asked.

“They went to the park with Kim. She took all the kids roller-skating.” Marlena thought this might be the perfect time to talk to him, apologize for the way she had been treating him. The heightened emotions of pregnancy had served to increase her guilt. I’ve been horrible to him. No wonder he’s so angry all the time. I’m sorry Roman. I know this is hard for you. I’m sorry for all of us…. “Roman, since we’re alone, I think maybe we should talk,” she began.

“You’re damn right, Marlena! I’m sick and tired of feeling like dirt every time I walk into this house. I put the down payment on this place! My name is on the mortgage! Every time I come to see my kids I feel like I’m intruding. I’m tired of this! I’m so god damn tired of this whole thing!” She could see that he had been pushed too far. He was screaming and he began pacing the room. Stay calm. He has a right to be angry. Just don’t get upset. Think about the baby. Oh no, I can’t tell him, now. Just stay calm.

“Roman, please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for the way this all happened. Everything has been such a shock for all of us. I didn’t know what to do. I’ve been waiting to hear from John – “

“John?” he asked. Roman thought he had heard her wrong. “Did you just call him ‘John’?” Marlena looked away. God let me do this right.

“I’m sorry Roman. It’s been so hard to know what to do. So hard to accept this…to realize how wrong we were… how wrong I was.” She could see the shock on his face. “Roman, I really thought he was you. I really wanted him to be you. It made sense, explained so much….” Roman stepped back involuntarily. He had not expected that, not now. He wasn’t quite sure what to say.

“I didn’t…I know that’s what…you were supposed to believe he was me, Doc. That’s exactly what they wanted you to believe.” Roman was again struck by how beautiful she was. The past seven years had been more then kind to her. She was thinner then he remembered and she had let her hair grow again. Her eyes were more beautiful in person then in his dreams. He watched her reach up to wipe the tears from her eyes and was overwhelmed by the desire to feel her in his arms. I know you believed he was me. It’s OK, Doc. I love you so much. I’ll always love you.

“He had so many memories of you…of us,” Marlena continued, not really hearing him. She had finally gotten the courage to say what she needed to and she didn’t notice the way Roman was looking at her. “He knew nothing of his own life, his past. All he knew was us, Roman. He had memories of Stephano, too. It was all so confusing, so difficult. When I found that file in West Virginia…when I saw your picture…it made sense. I wanted it to be true. It explained how I felt about him, why he had those memories. We were so afraid he was Stephano that I prayed for any picture but his. It didn’t matter who John was, as long as he wasn’t Stephano. Then….to see your face….to believe he was you….made so much sense. We were desperate, Roman.” The memories of that time came flooding back to Marlena. It was the defining moment in her life. Her future was determined the moment she saw that picture. She was so caught up in the memory, she failed to notice the expression change on Roman’s face. She thought he was….Stephano? She was falling in love with him when she thought he was DiMera? No….that’s wrong.

“Doc, that’s exactly what was supposed to happen. This was all part of Black’s plan. He set you up. He used our love to trap you!”

“No!” Marlena was suddenly jolted from her memories. “No, that’s wrong. It wasn’t a plan, Roman. He had no memories of his past….he was lost. I don’t know what happened before he came to Salem but the man I met had no plans to deceive anyone.”

“I told you everything that went on before he came to Salem!” Roman’s temper flared again, even stronger at the thought of her loving John regardless of who he was. Did she really think he was Stephano? “He’s a murderer! A psychopath! He tortured me, stole my memories and then came to Salem and stole my life!” Marlena was shaking her head in disagreement even before he finished talking.

“You’re forgetting Petrov. I’m not believing anything until I speak to John, but Petrov was part of all of this. He did something to John to take away his past. When we met he had amnesia. He definitely wasn’t faking it.”

“Well your judgment in men has slipped a little, Doc! Richard Cates sure fooled you!” Marlena had not expected that one Just the mention of Richard stirred so many emotions in her. He was a ruthless, dirty cop. What he did to Abe’s brother Theo was unforgivable. But Richard also helped Marlena through one of the most desperate times in her life. He was kind, funny, so sweet….he found her when she was lost and saved her from despair. Part of her would be forever grateful to him for that.

“I’m sorry you had to see that tape, Roman.” Marlena took a deep breath and chose her words carefully. “I can’t imagine how much that hurt you. I thought you were dead. I was trying to get on with my life. Please understand that. I never had any idea that you were alive. We all thought you were dead. If I had known – “

“What, Marlena? What would you have done?” He had to know. She was again caught in the memory as she looked past him and walked to the mantle where the pictures of their children lay on display. Baby pictures, school pictures, happy holidays…. all things he missed. Moments they could never get back. I’m sorry.

“I’d have gone with him,” she whispered, picking up a picture taken several years earlier of the children with Santa. Marlena brushed her fingers over their happy faces.

“With who?” Roman asked, mesmerized as he watched the play of emotions on her face.

“Stephano. I’d have gone with Stephano when he took the twins. If I had known that you were alive I’d have done anything he wanted. I loved you so much. I missed you so much.” The tears were falling down her cheeks onto the picture in her hands. He heard her word again. Loved. Missed. All past tense. He shook his head as he felt his hopes slipping away.

“You would have been his prisoners then. He never would have let us be together and he never would have let you go, Doc.” While he hated what had happened as a result of he attempt to kill Stephano, Roman realized it was better that she thought he was dead. If she had gone with Stephano he could not have imagined what would have happened. Would it have been worse then this?

“We’re still his prisoners, aren’t we? He still won’t let us go,” Marlena said as she put down the picture and wiped her tears away. “Please know that I am truly sorry for the hell you’ve been through, Roman. I could have made this easier for you and I didn’t. I’ll do all I can to make that right. The children need some time, perhaps some family counseling will help us deal with this, let them know we all love them.” Roman watched her. Listening to her speak of their children and their situation in clinical terms. He was not going to let her talk her way around this.

“Wait a minute, Marlena. What these kids need is the truth. I want them to know that John Black is a lying son-of-a-bitch! I don’t want them waiting for him to come back. You know the truth, so should they,” said Roman.

“I know that you are Roman Brady. I know that you are their father. I will tell them that. I will do all that I can to make you part of their lives. As for the rest of it, I know John will contact me when he can and then we will hear what he has to say.” Marlena’s hands instinctively went to her stomach. And what I have to say. She knew Bo would find something, all she had to do was wait. Roman was not willing to accept that.

“John Black is not coming back! Why can’t you see that? What makes you think he would come back here? He is not Roman Brady. Everyone knows what he’s done. He’s a con man, a thief, a murderer!”

“Stop!” Marlena shouted. She could not listen to his accusations anymore. “I will not pass judgment on him. He has a right to explain his side of this. I owe him that.”

“You…owe…him?” Roman’s face went from shock to frustration, then anger. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Standing in their house, the house he shared with her and then she shared with John Black, it was all suddenly clear to him. She loves him. No matter what happened…no matter what I say…she still love him. Marlena saw his face and immediately regretted her choice of words. She had not meant to aggravate him any further.

“Roman, I didn’t…”

“You owe him….you owe that bastard the chance to explain what he’s done, yet I have to crawl into my house and beg for a moment of everyone’s time?! Are you crazy?” Roman’s voice had become eerily calm. He was no longer shouting, but somehow he seemed even more angry, angrier then she had ever seen anyone.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Roman. He’s my – “

“He’s what, Marlena? He’s your husband? What the hell am I then?” He looked at the pictures on the mantle again, picking up one of all the kids with Marlena and John. Everyone smiling, laughing. The perfect family. Roman smashed the picture into the fireplace and turned back to her, slowly walking towards her as she backed away. “How do you think it make me feel to hear you call him your husband, Marlena? To know you lay in our bed every night dreaming of him, waiting for him? I fought my way out of hell to get back to a family that doesn’t want me…” Roman’s eyes were dark, his voice maintained that eerie calm. Visions of Marlena making love with Richard Cates then John Black flashed through his mind. He could see that giant TV screen playing the scenes that haunted his sleep each night. She’s in their bed. In Richard Cates’ arms. Calling John Black ‘Roman’. I love you so much Roman. I love you…. Those images were embedded into his subconscious, forever tormenting him.

“….not the way you think.” Marlena had been trying to find some way to explain what she meant without hurting him. She realized he hadn’t heard anything she was saying.

“You’re still in love with him. No matter what he did to me…what he did to us. You don’t care. You know what he did…” Roman’s voice was almost a whisper.

“Roman? Roman, are you – ” She did not even realize he hit her until she heard Carrie screaming.

“What are you doing? Get out! Get out!” Carrie screamed as she ran into the living room, catching Marlena as she staggered backwards, just beginning to taste the coppery blood dripping into her mouth. “Oh my God…Marlena, are you OK? Get out of our house!” Carrie saw the blood beginning to run from Marlena’s lip. Kim ran through the front door, panicked by Carrie’s screams.

“Carrie, what – ” she saw the trio standing in the living room, the shattered frame on the floor in front of the fireplace. “Marlena what happened?” Marlena put her hand up to stop Kim. Pointing to the door, she meant for Kim to keep the other children outside. Kim understood. “Hey guys, why don’t you put your skates in the garage and play out back. I’ll fix us a snack.” Hearing a chorus of “okays” Kim came into the living room, looking at the blood on Marlena’s mouth and then at Roman.

“Kim, I…Doc…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…” Roman stumbled over his words. His hands were shaking and he could feel the cold sweat running down his back. What have I done? Oh god, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it….

Marlena covered her face with her hands as she melted into the couch. God please help me… Carrie began screaming at her father again. “I hate you! Do you hear me? Get the hell out of our house! When my father finds out what you’ve done he’ll kill you! Get the hell out!” Carrie was swinging blindly at Roman, hitting him in the chest, the arms.

“Stop, Carrie!” yelled Kim, stepping in front of her niece. “Roman, what’s going on here? Marlena, are you OK? Oh god…you’re bleeding! Roman, what the hell happened here?”

“He hit her, Aunt Kim! I hate you! Do you hear me? You will never be our father! Get out!” Carrie lunged at him again. Roman was so stunned by his actions he never even flinched.

“Doc, I…”

“Get out, Roman. Get out of my house,” Marlena whispered. “Get out.”

“Roman, please go,” said Kim, taking his arm and leading him to the door.

“Kim, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. Carrie, I’m sorry…” Roman couldn’t think straight. He didn’t know what to do. Kim opened the front door.

“Go to the fish market. Let me make sure she’s OK. I’ll call you. Go, Roman.” Kim pushed him outside and closed the door. She couldn’t think about him right now. Carrie was kneeling in front of Marlena, shaking and crying.

“Are you OK? Your lip is split. I can’t believe he did that! What can I do?” Carrie sobbed. Kim came and took her arm.

“Go get a wet washcloth and an ice pack. Bring a glass of water, too. It’s OK, Carrie. Go on,” said Kim as she sat next to Marlena on the sofa. Kim rubbed Marlena’s back as they sat for a moment. “Are you OK?”

“Oh Kim, what am I going to do?” Marlena cried as Kim pulled her into a hug. I love you. I know you love me. Please come back.

Marlena closed the front door behind her and kicked her shoes into the corner. All she wanted to do was sleep. The emotional highs and lows of the past twenty-four hours had done her in. She had barely slept at all. Roman’s violent outburst shook her to the core. She managed to convince the twins that a box fell out of the closet, causing her split lip. Carrie was devastated, almost hysterical. It had taken Marlena and Kim most of the night to calm her down. John’s disappearance had shattered her children’s lives. She had talked herself into believing that they were okay but she realized she was wrong. Very wrong. In less than two months, her children had become shadows of their former selves. Sami retreated into her world of books. Eric, once charming and so outgoing, barely spoke to anyone. Poor Carrie, she was trying so hard to hold it all in and be grown-up. Walking in on Marlena and Roman’s argument had released all her bottled-up emotions. As if being fifteen wasn’t hard enough. I should have done something. I could have prevented this. I kept telling myself everything would be alright. Who was I kidding? John has disappeared. What if we never see him again? He’s the only father they know. Roman has changed so….he’s angry, bitter. How can we ever make this right? Carrie will never accept him. I can’t believe he hit me…what are we going to do?

Marlena touched her cheek and jaw, now somewhat swollen from the impact of Roman’s hand. Her bottom lip was split and puffy as well. Dr. Morgan had noticed the bruises right away when Marlena arrived for her appointment. She had thought of canceling, but knew she needed to see her obstetrician right away. She went so far as to sneek into the hospital and use the fire stairs, avoiding the possibility of running into anyone. Dr. Morgan was kind enough not to mention it directly.

“What brings you here so early, Marlena?” she asked.

“Elizabeth, I need a favor and I need this to be kept between us,” said Marlena.

“Of course, Marlena. Are you all right?”

“Well,” Marlena found the words difficult to say. She had yet to say them aloud. “I’m pregnant, Elizabeth. I need some prenatal vitamins and an ultrasound. I have to keep this between us since no one knows yet and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to tell people.” Marlena could not hide her smile. Elizabeth took her hand.

“Oh Marlena, I’m so glad you’re pleased. We should do the blood test anyway. I’ll keep your name off the results. I can do the ultrasound right here and I also have the vitamins. I can give you a couple of months’ supply, that way the pharmacy won’t have to be called.”

“Thanks so much, Elizabeth. I’d really like to wait as long as I can,” said Marlena. Dr. Morgan understood. Their collegues at the hospital were so concerned for Marlena. She was a much-loved member of the University Hospital staff. Many of them knew John as well. It was so hard for them to believe; they couldn’t imagine what it was like for Marlena and her family. The ultrasound proved Marlena correct. She was almost seven weeks pregnant. The baby’s heartbeat was strong and everything seemed to be progressing well.

“I know you’re under a great deal of stress, Marlena. Please try to take it easy. Don’t let yourself get too tired or too upset,” advised Dr. Morgan. Marlena nodded.

“I’m OK. I have a lot of help from my family and I haven’t resumed my patient load since…” she stopped.

“I know,” said Dr. Morgan. “This will be a stressful pregnancy, no matter what we do. Please take care and call me anytime. Even if you just need to talk to someone. We need to take extra care of you and that baby of yours.” Marlena hugged her.

“Thank you so much, Elizabeth. I can’t help but think this baby is a sign that everything will work out, somehow. It just has to… I’ll start the vitamins right away and I’ll call for an appointment. I really can’t thank you enough.”

“Nonsense. I’ll call you in a few days to see how you are doing. If you have any questions, please call me anytime,” said Dr. Morgan. She hugged Marlena as they left the office and watched as she headed for the stairs. Oh Marlena, I really hope it works out the way you want.

The phone rang and Marlena picked it up in the kitchen. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.” She smiled when she heard Bo’s voice booming with enthusiasm.

“Hey you. What’s up?”

“Well I have a couple of things to do this morning and then I thought I’d swing by and take you to lunch. How’s that sound? There’s a couple of things we should go over,” said Bo.

“What’s going on, Bo?” Marlena had been hoping to avoid Bo until the bruises healed, but it sounded as if he may have some news.

“I got some information and I think we should go over it.” Bo didn’t want to get her hopes up, yet. All he had so far were bits and pieces, but he really felt Victor would give him something when they met later. “It’s just some stuff we should talk about, Marlena. In the mood for some burgers?” Marlena’s stomach turned at the mention of red meat as well as the thought of Bo finding out what happened with Roman. He’s going to find out anyway. If he sees me, sees that I’m fine…maybe it will be OK. I can’t go out to lunch.

“Why don’t we have something here,” she suggested. “I’ll make something.”

“No, no. Don’t make anything!” Bo tried to think quick. “I’ll get sandwiches from the deli. I’ll see you in a few.” Marlena laughed as she hung up the phone. No one lets me cook.

***

John arrived in Saltillo before noon. He had left the top down on his car and the sun had been beating down on him all morning. The town was just as it had been years before. Dusty main street lined with little shops and bars. Prostitutes leaned against the doors of several rooming houses and motels, waiting for a well-healed customer to pass by. It was all just as he had remembered. Depressing. John parked his car behind the bar at the end of the street, La Cantina de Rosa. The place looked exactly the same. The floor probably hadn’t been swept since the last time he was there. A few locals were playing pool in the back while two girls cruised the bar. John sat down without even looking at them. The bartender came by, wiping the counter between he and John with a dirty rag.

“Cerveza,” said John. The bartender put a bottle of beer down in front of him. “Any rooms available upstairs?”

“Si, I think we have one or two empty,” said the bartender.

“I need one,”said John. The bartender nodded and walked into the back room. John put the bottle to his lips and proceeded to empty half the contents in one shot. The alcohol ran down his throat like water. This isn’t going to cut it. The bartender returned and placed a key in front of John.

“Numero cinco, end of the hall.” John nodded and took the key.

“I need a bottle.” The bartender reached under the counter and came up with a bottle of Vodka. Nodding again, John took the bottle and left a $50 bill in it’s place. “Gracias,” he said as he pulled his Stetson lower over his eyes. His dark looks allowed him to blend in but the eyes were a giveaway. The locals watched as he walked through the bar and up the back stairs.

John opened the door to his room. Inside stood a double bed, a table with a lamp and a chair. There was a closet and a window on the right and a bathroom to his left. Pushing that door open, John saw a dingy sink and toilet. An old fashioned tub stood with a nozzle hanging from the ceiling to serve as the shower. Gee, all the comforts of home. John shook his head with a rye smile as he walked back into the room. At least it has a bathroom. Hell, this is probably the Plaza of Saltillo. Taking the bottle to his lips as he lay back on the bed, John contemplated his next move. He would get the key during the night and go to the bank in the morning. Whatever was in that first set of documents would tell him what to do next. John took another drink and the alcohol slid easily down his throat. The sudden rumble in his stomach reminded him that he hadn’t eaten since he left Venezuela. ‘Does Stephano know I’m gone? Of course he does. Is he looking for me? Will he go after her now?’ John couldn’t let himself worry about that now. He had to get the documents. They were his only hope of bringing down Stephano. He would be careful, watch his back, and get as far as he could. If a cop or a bullet got him before he was done then so be it. At least he had made the effort. He couldn’t think about what that would mean for her, for the children. John was again reminded that he needed to eat something. He grabbed his keys and headed downstairs.

***

Shane found Bo waiting in the living room of Donovan Manor. He had been trying to talk to Bo for days but they kept missing each other. Shane had begun to feel that was not a coincidence.

“Hey Govn’r, what can I do for you?” Bo was expecting a lecture on why quitting the force was a mistake, why he should ask Abe for his job back. Bo didn’t really want to hear it, but he figured he would let Shane say his piece. He wanted to get this over with so he could see Victor before he went to Marlena’s.

“Good morning, Bo. Coffee?” Shane asked, pouring himself a cup as Bo shook his head. “How are you?”

“You mean since I quit the force?” Shane smiled. Bo was nothing if not direct.

“Well I had heard about that. What happened?” asked Shane. Bo shrugged.

“It was a lot of things, man. You know it was bound to happen.” Shane nodded. It was bound to happen soon enough. Bo had been avoiding Roman, avoiding the truth, since his brother returned. Working together was out of the question. Kimberly had told Shane about the animosity between her brothers while they were growing up. Roman was a father-figure to the Brady siblings much of the time. Shawn spent long hours on his fishing boat and running the market. Bo always resented Roman’s influence in the family. They really only began to bond, to become brothers, after Bo joined the force. Of course by that time everyone believed John was Roman.

“What are your plans now?” Shane asked.

“I applied for my PI license. I’m gonna go into it for myself. I think it’s the right way for me to go now. You know I can’t work him, it’s impossible Govn’r. We’d be at each others’ throats all day. I can’t do that anymore, man. I don’t want to,” said Bo sadly. He missed John. He missed the relationship he had with his brother. Abe and Shane were great, but they weren’t like John. Shane could hear it in Bo’s voice; the unspoken acknowledgment that John was not Roman Brady.

“You’re accepting the truth about Roman, then?” he asked.

“I don’t think ‘accepting’ is the word I’d use. It is what it is, man. He’s Roman Brady. I can’t change that…. hell Shane… I don’t want to change it…. what am I supposed to say! I’m glad he’s alive. He’s been through hell and back. I know that…. damnit! I just wish I could get my hands on DiMera! I’d love to ring that bastard’s neck!” Shane could see how difficult it was for Bo. His feelings of guilt and loyalty were pulling him in two different directions.

“I know how close you and John were, Bo. We all miss him. We all hope he is okay.” Both men turned when they heard Kim and Kayla talking in the foyer.

“I can’t believe he did that, Kim. Is she alright? Does she need a doctor?” Kayla asked as they came into the living room. Kim and Kayla stopped short as they found themselves confronted with Bo’s questioning gaze. Shane spoke first.

“Good morning, Kayla. Hello darling.” He walked over to kiss Kim’s cheek. “Careful,” he whispered to her. “Can I get you some coffee?”

“What happened? Who needs a doctor?” asked Bo. His sisters looked nervously at each other, and then at Shane. Long seconds passed before Kim spoke.

“Everything is fine, Bo. Really,” she said, trying to lessen the impact of what she was about to say. Bo could see the distress in his sisters’ eyes. He glanced at Shane and then back at Kim.

“What happened? Come on, Kimber….just tell me.”

“I took the kids to the park yesterday. When we got back to Marlena’s house Roman was there.” Kim saw Bo’s eyes narrow in anticipation of bad news. Kim’s eyes darted between Shane and Kayla, who had turned pale at the thought of Bo’s reaction to what Kim was about to tell him. Please stay calm little brother. Please don’t do anything crazy. “Bo, just listen – “

“What happened Kim?!”

“They were arguing. Things got a little out of hand, Bo. Carrie walked in and saw Roman….”

“What did she see?” Bo asked. He knew what she was going to say before he heard the words. Kim took a breath and braced herself.

“Roman hit her, Bo. Carrie saw Roman hit Marlena. She’s OK, really. I just talked to her and she’s fine.” The trio watched as Bo stood there, absorbing the information. He was so protective of his brother’s wife and children ever since Roman disappeared from the beach all those years ago. Even after they believed Roman had come back he still felt it was his duty to protect them. His eyes closed as the rage filled his mind, his heart. His head was pounding from the rush of blood through his body. He felt as though he was the one who was hit.

“Son-of-a-bitch! I swear to God when I find him I’m gonna-“

“Bo, don’t!” said Kayla. “Please calm down. She’s okay now. She is. Roman knows what he did was awful. He feels terrible.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet he does! Damn it! She didn’t say anything on the phone. I gotta get outta here. Later,” he said as he headed for the door.

“Bo please…please wait,” called Shane. Bo slammed the door behind him in response, leaving the three of them standing in the foyer to wonder if things could possibly get worse.

Victor had been waiting to hear from Bo all morning. He had left a message for Bo to contact him as soon as possible. He was very pleased with what his sources had found out. It had not taken long at all and the information was quite reliable. They definitely had the right man. John Black had paid cash for a used gray convertible two days earlier in Mexico City. The informant had found out that Black was headed for the town of Saltillo. Why? What is in Saltillo, Mexico? Victor knew Bo would want to go to Mexico right away so he began making the arrangements. He could fly to Houston, change planes, and fly on to Mexico City. Victor had arranged for an associate to meet Bo and take him on to Saltillo. It was all rather easy, considering the ISA has claimed to have no leads on John’s whereabouts. Victor wondered how true that was. It seemed rather suspect that Victor’s people had found him so quickly while the ISA professed to have nothing. It was more likely that they had known where John was all along and were watching, waiting to see where he would lead them. Rather like a mouse in a maze. Will he ever get out? Well, as long as Bo got to John while he was still in Saltillo, and still alive. Victor was concerned about sending his son into a potentially dangerous situation. He would make sure his people maintained close surveillance; if things got out of hand he would make sure Bo got out. Victor buzzed Diane.

“Has Bo Brady called this morning?”

“No, Mr.. Kiriakis. He hasn’t called.”

“Let me know right away if he does, Diane.” Victor hung up the phone. Where are you, Bo? You should have contacted me by now.

***************

The morning sickness was really kicking in. Marlena found herself in the bathroom for the fourth time in less then two hours. What is it, 12th or 13th week this ends? Well…I’ve survived this before…I can do it again. Anything for you and your daddy. Marlena clasped her hand around her stomach and smiled. She wanted so much to share her news with someone, but she was still hoping she would have the chance to tell him first. Perhaps Bo would have some news when he got there. It was their only hope; their only chance of finding John. Marlena had convinced herself that while he was not Roman, John had not committed any of the heinous acts Roman had described. There was no way the man she loved, the man who raised those children with such love and devotion, could do those things to another human being. There had to be some mistake. Some explanation for all of this. John will tell me the truth. Whatever is going on, I know he’ll tell me. He doesn’t lie to me .

The doorbell rang as she was coming down the stairs. Marlena looked down at her watch thinking it was too early for Bo. She was unprepared when she opened the door to find him standing there, eyes blazing and fists clenched.

“Oh Jesus, Marlena…. son-of-a….” Bo covered his eyes with his right hand trying not to look at the damage his brother had done.

“Bo, don’t… I’m OK, really,” Marlena reached for his left hand, pulling him inside. She hated what was happening to them and could only imagine what Bo would do to Roman if she didn’t get him to calm down. She closed the door behind them and turned to face him. “Honey, I’m OK. Really, please look at me -“

“I’m gonna kill him! I can’t believe he did this, Marlena! I can’t believe that bastard hit you!” Bo reached up and touched her bruised jaw as the tears began to fall for both of them. She pulled him close and hugged him.

“Please Bo, please don’t go after Roman. We’ve all been hurt so much. I can’t bare it anymore. Promise me, promise me you won’t do anything,” Marlena whispered. Bo hugged her tight, wishing he could do something to make it all go away.

“Marlena, I can’t promise -“

“Yes Bo,” Marlena said as she pulled back to look at him. Bo looked away from her, trying not to see the bruise. “Look at me. I’m fine. He hit he once, Bo. He will never, ever hit me again.”

“Damn straight he won’t!” said Bo. Marlena couldn’t help but smile a bit. He was just like John sometimes.

“Don’t go after him Bo. It’s bad enough that Carrie walked in on us. If Shawn and Caroline find out they’ll be crushed. I can’t let that happen.”

“Why are you protecting him Marlena?”

“I’m protecting all of us, Bo. At some point this family needs to heal. Roman was totally out of line yesterday and I’m sure he knows it. I don’t know how to fix this but you going after him won’t help. I need to protect my kids. I haven’t been doing a very good job of that but everything is going to change now. It has to.” Marlena placed her hands over her stomach, absently repeating to herself, “It has to.”

“Marlena?” Bo could see the faraway look in her eyes. There was definitely something she wasn’t telling him. He watched her walk over to the French doors and look out the windows.

“We have to find John. I have to see him, Bo.” Marlena knew finding John would not be easy but they just had to do it. Bo came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

“Well… I think I found someone who can help us.” She turned to look at Bo as he continued. “I went to see Victor.” Marlena was shocked. She never imagined Bo would turn to to Victor, let alone that Victor would even help them.

“Victor? Oh Bo…I never thought of Victor! What happened?” Bo led her to the sofa. She sunk into the cushions and Bo sat on the coffee table, facing her. She watched him, wide-eyed. Will Victor really help us? Oh Bo, what will this cost you?

“I told him we needed his help. I asked him what happened in 1986 when John was The Pawn. He showed me everything he had, Marlena. I saw the files on Stephano, the ISA, Stockholm…. all of it.” Bo shook his head at the memory. “It seems Petrov double-crossed Stephano somehow. The KGB, the ISA and Victor all wanted John. Petrov had told them all that The Pawn was Roman and that he knew all sorts of secrets, including where the bonds in were in Stockholm. There was someone else, though. Someone else who wanted The Pawn. Petrov told Victor there were four ‘buyers’. Victor knew why the ISA and the KGB wanted him…. same as Vic….the bonds. No one seems to know who the fourth buyer was or what they wanted.”

“Oh Bo…” Marlena shook her head. “Can you believe they were all trying to ‘buy’ him? How barbaric! How could they have done such a thing?”

“We’re not talking about choirboys here, Marlena. Anyway, Vic seems to think he can help us. Actually, I need to call him. He left me a message this morning before I went to Shane’s. He might have something to give us.” Marlena nodded.

“OK. Call him. Tell him to come here.”

“No way, Marlena,” said Bo. “Everyone is watching you. No one can know I went to Victor.”

“I want to hear what he has to say, Bo. I’ll go with you then. Tell him we’ll meet him.”

“No,” said Bo. “You need to stay here and rest. You’ve been lookin’ tired lately. Let me call Vic. I’ll meet him and then come back. I’ll tell you everything when I get back.” Marlena was not thrilled but she was very tired.

“You promise me you’ll come back right after you see Victor?” she asked.

“Promise,” said Bo, holding up the three finger on his right hand. “Scout’s honor. I’ll even bring some sandwiches back. You’ll lay down for a while, right?” Marlena nodded, watching him closely.

“What will this cost you, Bo? When all is said and done how will the family feel about Victor helping us find John?” Bo looked away for a moment and then looked back at Marlena and shrugged.

“I don’t know Marlena. I don’t think we can afford to worry about that right now. How can we even be a family again if we don’t get answers? You said it yourself….these questions are tearing us apart. Now Roman pulls this,” said Bo, reaching up to brush his fingers against her jaw again. She smiled and took his hand. “Are you really OK? Are you, Marlena?”

“Yes,” she said. “I really am, Bo. I’m OK. Please be so careful.”

“I will.” Marlena watched as Bo picked up the phone and dialed Victor Kiriakis. What will he find out. Does Victor know where John is? Oh Bo, I hope we aren’t making a mistake.

***************

Roman had been walking the pier most of the morning trying to come to terms with what he had done. He could make no excuses, find no justification. He hit her. He hit the woman he loved more then life. The mother of his children. Carrie saw it. Jesus, she saw me hit Marlena. Is she OK? She was bleeding…. Oh God, what am I going to do? There is no way I can make this right. Damn John Black! He’ll never be gone. Not as long as she still loves him. She loves him…. That thought still sparked his anger, even though he had seen its’ devastating results. The experiences of the past seven years had turned every facet of his life inside-out. Where once he was fun-loving, friendly and sweet, a heroic cop, a devoted brother and son….a father….a husband….now he was nothing. No one. He didn’t even recognize himself anymore; not the way he looked or the way he acted. Definitely not the way he felt. The anger and resentment that consumed his mind and heart were strangling him. Roman saw no way to break free. The people he loved the most in the world had turned their backs on him and allowed this stranger to take everything. A stranger they loved more then him. He could see it in all of them. His parents, his sisters, Shane, even Abe. His own brother couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him. Well, some things never change. Then there was Marlena and the kids. How could he ever apologize for what he had done. Would it matter. Carrie hated him. He could still hear her screaming. Marlena obviously didn’t love him anymore, no matter what happened. Roman looked out over the water. After everything they had been through together….the Salem Strangler, Andre DiMera, Stephano…that bastard. If it weren’t for Stephano none of this would have happened….bastard. When I find him….. She doesn’t love me. Fine. I’m still their father. They’re still my kids. I have to find some way to talk to her, to apologize. I’ll make it up to them. I just have to talk to Marlena.

Roman looked down the pier and thought he saw Victor Kiriakis. Bo’s father. The idea of his mothers’ infidelity was another unimaginable reality of life in Salem. He walked down the dock to get a better look.

Victor was looking out at the water, finishing a cup of coffee when Bo arrived. They had agreed to meet out in the open to make it look as though they had just bumped into each other.

“Hey Vic,” said Bo. He looked around and didn’t notice anyone watching them. Victor continued to look out over the water.

“I’m glad you called, Bo. I wasn’t sure you got my message.”

“I’m sorry about that. I just had some stuff to take care of this morning. I meant to call you earlier,” said Bo.

“Is everything alright, Bo?” Victor could see that Bo was upset about something other then the disappearance of John Black. Something had happened. Bo began walking along the pier and Victor followed him.

“It’s nothing I can talk about. I just have to find John as soon as possible. Do you have any information for me?” asked Bo.

“Yes, I do actually. I have reliable information that puts John in Mexico City two days ago. My contact says John brought a car and headed north. A town called Saltillo, about 300 miles south of the Rio Grande. I’ve made arrangements for you to meet my contact in Mexico City. He will escort you through Mexico. You can leave tonight if you like,” said Victor. Bo had stopped walking and was now staring at Victor, speechless.

“I can’t believe it…you found him already? The ISA has been looking all this time and they have nothing? I can’t believe you found him.” Victor started walking again.

“I’m inclined to think the ISA has known where he was for quite some time now, Bo. John arrived on a plane from Venezuela. Stephano had known associates in Venezuela. He was rumored to have a compound there. It’s more likely that the ISA has been waiting to see what John’s next move would be. Do you have any idea why he would go to Mexico, Bo?”

“No,” Bo shook his head, “I can’t think of anything. I really thought he was trapped somewhere, you know. I’m kinda surprised he’s just traveling around Mexico.” Victor could hear something in Bo’s voice. A sadness.

“Listen Bo, we don’t know why he’s in Mexico. If you and Marlena are correct and Stephano did take him that night then there is no telling what has happened. I believe that’s why the ISA is sitting on this. They’re waiting to see what happens next, Bo.” Victor had several theories on what John could be up to. None were very encouraging.

“I guess I just figure he would have called her if he could. I mean I never imagined him walking away, never even trying.” Bo looked out over the water and shook his head. He wasn’t prepared to tell Marlena that John was traveling alone through Mexico, free. She’ll be so hurt. She’ll think he left her. She’ll think he doesn’t care. He does, doesn’t he?

“Bo, I’ve made all the arrangements for you. Do you want to see him?” asked Victor.

“Oh yeah. Absolutely,” nodded Bo. “I’ll be ready in a few hours. I gotta tell Hope and I have to see Marlena. I promised I’d tell her everything. I just didn’t expect this so soon.”

“Does Marlena know you came to me?”

“Yeah. I told her this morning. She’s really grateful to you, Victor. She wanted to come with me but I told her that would really make people suspicious. We need to keep this quiet. If the cops or the Feds find out, they’ll come down on us for sure.”

“Well, I’m sure they’re watching you, Bo. As for ‘coming down on you’…I don’t know. I think Stephano should be our first concern. It’s more likely that if John has gotten away from Stephano somehow, he’s going to want John back. Look at all the trouble Stephano has gone to already. I think there are so many unknowns here, Bo. You’ll be accompanied in Mexico, but please watch yourself. Be very careful,” said Victor.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. When do I leave?”

“5:30 pm. I think flying commercial is safer at this point. Anyone would certainly be suspicious if you left town on my jet.” Victor reached into his coat and handed Bo a ticket voucher. “Everything you need is in there, Bo. My contact is PJ Mercado. He’ll be waiting for you in Mexico City. His picture is in there.” Bo nodded.

“Yeah, OK. Hey Victor, thanks a lot man. You really came through for me bigtime.”

“I’m glad I could help, Bo. There’s a private phone number in there where you can contact me anytime, day or night. Please keep in touch, Bo. I’ll be waiting to hear from you,” said Victor.

“Sure thing. I’ll keep in touch. Thanks a lot.” Victor watched Bo turn and head back down the pier. Neither of them saw Roman Brady watching in the distance.

John could not believe what he was reading: CERRADO. Closed. The bank was closed for a holiday. John stood there staring at the sign. ‘‘Perfect.’ Everything had been too easy. It figures the bank would be closed. He had gotten the key to the safe deposit box the night before with no problem. It was exactly where he’d left it all those years ago; behind a brick in the basement wall of La Cantina. John had a habit of leaving things behind, little clues to the puzzle of his life. He and Simon traveled constantly. It wasn’t as if they had any permanent residence. They moved between Stephano’s various compounds; always planning, executing or finishing their latest assignment. The pace was nonstop. ‘He never wanted us to have time to think. Never a moment to realize what we were doing. The longest time we were in one place was San Cristobal and look what happened. I have to remember what was in that file that night. What was her name?’ John realized there was nothing he could do. He would have to wait until tomorrow to get into the box. Looking around at the bars and bodegas along the main street was too depressing. He needed a drive. Preferably a long one. John headed back to La Cantina to get the car. A drive would definitely help.

***************

“I’m going with you, Bo.”

“No way, Marlena. No,” said Bo, shaking his head. They had gone back and forth for half an hour and neither would give in. Bo told Marlena everything Victor said and she was insisting on going to Mexico with him. Bo had done everything to convince her it was a bad idea, but she wouldn’t budge. Hope had been at Marlena’s when Bo got there. She sat back watching their banter. ‘She’s good. I think she’s got you, Brady. You’re going to fold soon.

“I’m going with you Bo or I’m going alone. It’s you’re choice,” said Marlena. She stood in the middle of the kitchen with her hands folded across her chest. There was no way he would change her mind. She was going. Bo looked at Hope, then Marlena and then back at Hope again. They both shrugged at him. Bo tried one more time.

“Marlena this is a bad idea. We don’t know what we’re walking into. What about the kids? What are you going to do about the kids?”

“I’ll stay with them,” Hope chimed in. “Shawn-D and I can stay here.” Bo shot her a look. ‘Thanks a lot, Fancy Face.’

“Perfect,” Marlena said with a victorious grin. “Thank you so much, Hope. You’re just a sweetheart. That would be just great. There you go, Bo. Hope and Shawn-D can stay with the children while you and I go to Mexico. We’ll only be gone a few days, everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

“Marlena, listen. I just think it would be better if I went myself. Please listen to me, come on.” Bo pulled Marlena back towards him when she tried to walk away. She was shaking her head, refusing to listen to his objections. Bo led her over to the kitchen table and sat her down. He knelt down in front of her. “Please listen to me. We don’t know why John is in Mexico. He could be working for Stephano – come on, just listen to me for a minute. He could be running, hiding out. We know the ISA is looking for him. I’m sure he knows it, too. Marlena, if he didn’t call us then there must be a reason. We could put him in a bad spot if we just show up. Let me go alone, see what’s going on. I promise I’ll call you as soon as I see him. Please don’t argue with me.” Marlena looked into Bo’s eyes and could see how concerned he was about bringing her with him. She couldn’t get him to understand why she had to go. ‘I have to see him right away Bo. He has to know about our baby.’ Marlena covered her eyes in frustration as the tears fell yet again.

“Bo, come on…please just take me with you. I have to see him. I want to tell him….” Marlena was sobbing into her hands. Hope came up behind her and placed a comforting hand on her back.

“Oh Marlena, he knows how much you love him. He knows that.”

“No, Hope… I have to tell him…please Bo.” Marlena couldn’t get the words out. Bo and Hope gave each other a questioning look. ‘What is it? I don’t know.’

“Marlena, as soon as I see him I’ll tell him – ” Marlena jumped up, stopping Bo in mid-sentence.

“No, no…I have to tell him. It has to be me. He has to hear it from me.” Marlena walked around to the sink and lay her head against the cabinet. “You don’t understand,” she whispered. “I’m pregnant.” Bo stared at Marlena, speechless. ‘She’s pregnant… oh man…’

“Of course you are,” said Hope, practically talking to herself. “It makes perfect sense. You’re exhausted, you eat nothing…my gosh, Marlena. You’re pregnant! Congratulations! That’s so wonderful.” Hope pulled Marlena into her arms and the two women hugged each other tight. “This is so amazing! When did you find out? How far along are you?” Hope was asking questions so quickly both she and Marlena laughed in the excitement. It was so nice to share happy news for a change.

“Well I’ve known for a while,” said Marlena as she wiped her eyes. “I just saw Dr. Morgan this morning. I’m about seven weeks along. I guess the baby was conceived right before he left. My gosh, I hadn’t said the words out loud before today. I’m pregnant.” Marlena looked at Bo and saw the wistful smile on his face. “I know, I know. My timing isn’t the greatest, huh?” Bo couldn’t help but laugh.

“I can’t believe it. You’re pregnant?”

“You understand now, right? You know why I have to go with you. Please, Bo?” She walked over and stood in front of him, searching his eyes for some sign of agreement. He looked into her eyes and could see her love for John. How could he turn her down? Bo shrugged and laughed again.

“OK, you win. How can I turn down such a gorgeous mommy-to-be?” Marlena threw her arms around Bo and hugged him. He pulled back to face her again. “But listen, this is really twice the reason for you to stay here. I would have thought you’d know that, Marlena. You shouldn’t be doing this, especially now.”

“No, Bo. It’s exactly why I’m doing this. I want to tell John about this baby. I have to know how he feels. No matter what happens I’m having this baby. Everyone will have to deal with it, but I need for him to know. I can’t keep it a secret forever and I want to tell him first if I can. Please understand, Bo. Please take me to Mexico.” Bo touched Marlena’s cheek and glanced towards Hope.

“What do you think, Fancy Face? Will you and Sailorman be OK here for a few days?”

“Absolutely, Brady. You two go find John. We’ll be fine. The kids will all be in school. I have work. Everything will be fine,” said Hope.

“OK,” nodded Bo. “Let me make some phone calls. It can’t look like we’re traveling together so we’ll need some sort of plan.”

“I’ve been thinking about that,” said Marlena. “I could say my parents needed me. Mama will cover for me. I could say I’m flying to Denver and then just meet you at the airport.”

“I think you might have to actually fly to Colorado, Marlena. Too many people are gonna get suspicious as it is. Let me talk to Victor and I’ll see what we can do.” Bo went into the living room to use the phone. Marlena felt Hope’s gaze on her back so she turned to face her sister-in-law.

“You think I’m being foolish?” she asked. Hope shook her head.

“Not at all. I’d do the same if it were Bo. I actually think you’ve been amazing through this. I just hope you don’t wind up disappointed.”

“I don’t think I will,” Marlena said, turning on the kettle. “Even if John never comes back to Salem at least I’ll have some answers. I’ll know what to tell my children. And John will know about this baby.” Marlena wrapped her hand protectively around her waist. “I have to try to see him, Hope. I have to know….” Marlena looked out the window towards the yard, trying to keep the tears at bay. She was tired of crying. All these tears had done her no good. Now she would have answers. Hope watched Marlena struggle with her emotions. ‘Please God, don’t let her be hurt again. Don’t let Bo be hurt. I don’t think they could take it.’Hope took down three mugs as they waited for the water to boil.

***************

“I’m on the short list for Commander,” he said. They were putting the dishes away after dinner on Friday night. Marlena almost dropped the plate she she was holding.

“What? Honey, that’s great! I can’t believe it! Wait a minute, of course I can. You’re the best cop in Salem. Of course you’ll be Commander. I can’t believe there’s even a list!” Roman laughed as she threw her arms around him. “Baby, I’m so proud of you. When did you find out?” Roman was enjoying the feeling of his wife in his arms and pulled her closer. She laughed and kissed him quickly. “Come on, tell me. When did you find out? When will you know? Roman – ” He leaned in and kissed her neck, heer shoulders.

“Mmmm….come on Roman, tell me!” Marlena pulled back and saw the grin on his face.

“I’d rather tell you something else, Doc. Come here.” Roman pulled her back towards him and tried to kiss her.

“Will you stop… tell me Roman. When did you find out?” she asked. Roman sighed in mock frustration.

“OK, Doc. If you must know I found out this morning. I don’t know when the decision will be made. Sometime soon I guess.”

“Commander Roman Brady. That sounds just great. Roman, I’m so happy for you.” She slid her arms around his neck again. “I think we’ll have to have a little celebration,” she whispered, running her lips along his jaw. Roman closed his eyes, letting his imagination run wild. She always knew how to celebrate.

“It’s not a done deal, yet.” Roman ran his hands down her back to rest on her hips. Marlena looked up at him, moving her mouth within centimeters of his.

“Sure it is,” she whispered before capturing his lips in a kiss that definitely closed the deal.

John leaned back on the hood of his car and watched the river in front of him. He’d been driving for miles before he finally found water. The smell of it, the sounds it made calmed him. Reminded him of Salem. The only home he’d ever known. He’d never been ‘home’ when he was with Stephano. They lived places, but they were never at home. Stephano’s compounds were cold, sterile. John and Simon were constantly moving. ‘How the hell did we live like that? Why not…we didn’t know any better. How can you miss what you never had? How can you live with losing it? John closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. He realized that Roman must have felt this way every day for seven years. ‘Christ, two months and I want to blow my head off! Roman watched it all slip away into someone else’s arms. First Richard Cates and then John. He made Roman watch Marlena and Richard and then Simon made him watch Marlena and John. ‘ What did they show him? Was he forced to watch us making love? Oh Doc, I’m so sorry. I can never explain that to you….what can I do. There’s nothing I can say…’ John was so disgusted with himself, with the things he’d done for Stephano. It didn’t matter if he wasn’t that man anymore. He could never hide from what he had done, who he had been. ‘I was an amoral, contemptible bastard. I did whatever he wanted…no matter what. God, I miss you so much Doc. Do you miss me?’ John closed his eyes and relived those moments again. Moments when life was perfect, when he was her husband…..

Marlena leaned back against him in the tub, smiling at his slow moan. Roman wrapped his arms around her waist, his ankles around her legs. “Well that’s definitely the way to celebrate,” he laughed, nuzzling her neck. Marlena giggled as his lips ran along her collarbone.

“Yes, that was rather festive wasn’t it…….. ooohhh honey, that feels so good…” Marlena tilted her head to the left to expose more of her neck to his exploration.

“Dr. Evans you taste so good,” he whispered, his voice laced with desire.

“Oooh Commander, you feel so good…. I love you so much…..” Roman slowly ran his hands along her abdomen and down her arms, capturing her hands in his. He held her hands gently, preventing her from pulling away or touching him. He continued to slowly kiss her neck and shoulders. He nipped at her right ear, gently running his tongue along the soft skin. Marlena squeezed his fingers as he stopped her from pulling her hands free. She whimpered as he blew on the trail of moisture left by his lips. Her skin felt as though it were on fire. She tried again to free her hands, the need to touch him was overwhelming. She tried to turn to face him, kiss him. He leaned over her right shoulder and whispered to her.

“No turning around Doc, no touching… it’s my turn…”

“Roman please….” Marlena whispered in a raspy breath. She wanted desperately to see him, touch him, feel his skin against hers.

“Please what, Doc? Please stop?” Roman leaned Marlena forward a bit, still holding her hands, to lay a trail of kisses between her shoulder blades. He moved to her left ear, barely kissing her. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” she whispered.

“No what? Say it, Marlena.” Roman kept a gentle grip on her hands.

“No … don’t stop Roman… please, let me touch you…”

“No touching, Doc. If I let you go, you have to promise me…. no touching, yet….” Marlena could barely breath, her heart pounded wildly in her chest. All she wanted to do was run her hands through his hair…. wrap her legs around him. Roman watched her profile as she struggled with his proposition. As much as he wanted her at that moment, wanted to feel her nails run down his back, he would wait. He was mesmerized at the play of emotions on her face. Her eyes were closed and her body trembled, even though her skin felt like it was on fire. It was only when they were alone that Marlena ever let herself go. Roman saw it as a personal goal to take Marlena to the brink of ecstasy, to make her feel all those incredible emotions he did when they made love. “Promise me, Marlena.”

“Promise,” she breathed as he slowly let her hands go. She sighed as he ran his fingers up her arms to her shoulders and gently massaged her neck. He ran his hands down her back and around to her abdomen. He leaned in to kiss her cheeks as his right hand moved to across her breasts and his left hand……..

“So sweet,” he whispered as she gripped the sides of the porcelain tub and softly moaned. Roman ran his lips along her neck as he continued to whisper softly to her. “Mmmm…I love you Marlena…so much…more then anyone in the world…..I love you, always…” Roman could feel her heart beating as his own pounded in his chest. He knew neither of them could wait much longer. Marlena leaned back into him.

“I want you so much…I always want you…I love you so much, Roman…..”

Roman. She loved Roman Brady. John Black was a ruthless, evil son-of-a-bitch who helped Stephano DiMera destroy their lives. Marlena would never speak to him again. No matter what happened his life was over. If he lost her and his kids then he had nothing. John watched the sun reflecting off the water as the current picked up. There was no way out for him. He would get the first set of papers tomorrow and move on. Follow the trail. Get as much information as he could before he said goodbye to her and turned himself in to the ISA.

“When will you be back?” Carrie asked. She was sitting cross-legged in the middle of Marlena’s bed watching her pack. Carrie took notice of what Marlena was wearing as well as what she was packing into the relatively small suitcase. Jeans, khakis, a few tee-shirts, some button-down oxfords, sneakers…. OK… this is what she packs to see Grandma Evans? No dresses? No suits? No heels? Who does she think she’s fooling?!

“In a few days, sweetie. Daddy hasn’t been feeling well and I promised Mama I’d go out and speak with his doctors. You know how she worries.” Marlena tried to sound casual about leaving so suddenly, especially after the argument with Roman. She knew Carrie sensed that something was up. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, though. Hope will be here with Shawn-Douglas so everything should be fine. You’ll help her out, right? I’m counting on you.”

“Uh-huh. Where’s Uncle Bo?” Carrie watched Marlena, trying to see if she’d give anything away.

“Hope said he had to meet with someone about a case. You know he got his private investigator’s license, right? Well, he’s out of town on a case.” Marlena was trying to pack just the necessities. Bo told her to bring only what she could carry on; she would have to make the connection alone in Denver and then meet Bo in Mexico City. There was no sense dragging a bunch of luggage with her. Is that everything? I’ll wear a jacket and boots… OK, this should be enough. Anything we need we can buy. Money? I have enough. She thought she heard Carrie say something. “What, sweetie? Did you say something?” Marlena asked as she turned to find Carrie staring at her.

“You found Daddy. That’s where you’re going, isn’t it? You and Uncle Bo are going to see Daddy.” Carrie’s voice was deceptively calm. Marlena could see how much she wanted it to be true. “You said you’d tell me everything, Marlena. Where are you going? Where’s Daddy?” Marlena closed her eyes for a moment to collect her thoughts, unconsciously twisting her wedding ring. She had promised Carrie but … what could she say? Marlena sat on the edge of the bed and reached for Carrie’s hand.

“You’re right. I promised you the truth. Always. If I tell you then you need to be very careful, Carrie. Only Hope knows everything so I expect you to be very grown-up about this and not tell anyone. No one, Carrie. Don’t even discuss it with Hope because you don’t know who could be listening. I don’t want the twins to know any of this. Can I trust you?” Marlena asked. Carrie nodded and squeezed Marlena’s hand.

“I promise. I won’t tell anyone. Where is he?”

“He’s in Mexico, honey. We found out he was in Mexico City two days ago and we’re going to see if we can find him.”

“Why hasn’t he called, Marlena? What happened to him? Is he hurt?” Carrie fired off questions to Marlena as her mind raced with possibilities.

“Carrie wait… listen to me. We don’t know what happened or why he’s in Mexico. You know that we think Stephano is involved, right? Well, I think John got away from him somehow. Bo and I are taking a big chance going to Mexico but we think it’s worth it.”

“John… you called him John,” Carrie whispered. She could not accept that he was not Roman Brady, not her father. He was the only father she knew. The only father she wanted. The only father she loved. No one could take his place.

“I believe that’s his name,” Marlena said quietly. ‘Oh gosh, this isn’t the way I wanted to explain this. I don’t have the time to do this the right way … honey I’m sorry.’ “It doesn’t change how I feel or what I want. It’s just a name, Carrie. It doesn’t change the past six years or how wonderful he is. It’s only a name. Do you understand that, Carrie?” Marlena asked.

“Yes. I feel that way, too. He’s my father. The only one I want. I don’t care what anyone says or what his name is. No one can take his place. Ever.” Carrie made her point without ever mentioning Roman or what she saw him do to Marlena.

Marlena searched Carrie’s face and sighed, looking away. ‘We’ll have to work on that when I get back. They will have to find a way to accept this, no matter what happens.’ “Well, we will have to talk about all this when I come home. No matter what happens, Roman deserves to be part of your life.” Carrie looked away, refusing to hear what Marlena was saying. Marlena cupped Carrie’s chin, turning her face. “I just want you to think about it, Carrie. We can talk when I get back.” Marlena got up to survey her bag one more time. Carrie went down the hall to her room and closed the door behind her.

***

Hope packed a few things for she and Shawn-D and drove Bo to the airport. He would take a flight from Salem to Houston and then a connecting flight onto Mexico City. PJ Mercado, Victor’s associate, would meet him there. They would have to wait for Marlena to arrive from Denver, but they could use that time to exchange information and work out the details. Marlena had to fly through Denver to alleviate any suspicion that she was traveling with Bo or that they were looking for John. There was no other way around it. PJ would to escort Marlena and Bo through Mexico, insuring their safety. Victor was not pleased to hear that Marlena was going with Bo. He tried to convince Bo to make Marlena stay put, but Bo knew Marlena would never agree. Bo assured Victor he would protect Marlena and himself just fine, but he was glad to have PJ accompanying them.

“Hey Brady, where are you?” Hope asked. She had been watching Bo stare out the car window while they sat at a traffic light. Bo turned to look at her, study her face.

“You haven’t changed a bit, you know that Fancy Face. You look just like you did when we were kids, just like you did when we got married. You’re really beautiful, you know.” Hope could feel herself blush a bit at Bo’s loving compliment.

“And I thought I might miss you a little. What’s up, Bo? What are you thinking about?”

“I don’t know. Everything. I was thinking about when we were kids … all of us. Sometimes, when I think about that stuff … and I think about Roman back then … I see John’s face. I got so used to his face that I could put it into my memories. Things he wasn’t even around for and I can put his face into the picture.” Bo shook his head and turned to look back out the window. Hope’s heart ached for him. She could see how torn he was between his blood brother and the brother of his heart. ‘Oh Bo, I wish I could take this all away. I hate to see you so hurt.’

“It’s OK, Bo. That’s only natural. Of course his face is in your subconscious; we all believed he was Roman these past six years. It’s his face you see when you think of your brother.” Hope reached for his hand, wanting to comfort him.

“What if he doesn’t care, Hope? What if I take Marlena down there and he’s with another woman? Jesus, this could be a big mistake,” he said. That was Bo’s biggest fear. What if everything they said about John Black was true? What if Marlena got hurt? What if something happened to her baby because of this? Hope squeezed Bo’s hand.

“She needs to do this, Bo. She has to see him and now she knows where he is. If you don’t take her with you she’ll go alone. You know it. Marlena has to get answers – no matter what they are. She’ll never be able to get on with her life if she doesn’t find out the truth.”

“What if she gets hurt? What if something happens to the baby? Hope, I don’t know if I should do this…. ” said Bo.

“She’s very strong. Stronger then you think. Just be careful, Bo. Watch her. Don’t let her get too tired and get her to eat something. Remember – don’t drink the water! Montezuma’s Revenge!” Hope and Bo both laughed at her reminder. That was all they needed.

“I’ll call you tomorrow morning and I’ll be in touch with Victor, too. If you need me at all just call him. He’ll know exactly how to reach me. Will you guys be OK, Fancy Face?” Bo asked.

“Absolutely. Don’t worry about us. If anyone asks, you’ve gone to see someone about a PI case. Marlena’s parents needed her in Denver. No big deal; everyone has flight numbers and reservations. Mrs. Evans will cover for Marlena if anyone calls there. Brady believe me, we’ve got it covered,” Hope assured him.

“I sure hope so,” said Bo, checking his watch again. “We gotta motor if I’m gonna make this flight, Fancy Face.” Hope nodded as she turned into the airport entrance.

***

Marlena grabbed her keys from the counter and checked her wallet again. Hope and Shawn-D walked through the back door with Sami and Eric.

“Hi Mom. Where are you going?” asked Sami. Hope had told them she and Shawn-D were spending a few days, hence the suitcase in Hope’s hand.

“Hi you two. Come here, ” Marlena leaned down, hugging them both. “Hi Shawn-D. Are you all ready for a snack?” she asked. They all nodded, waiting to hear where she was going. Marlena looked at Hope, then back at the children. ‘ Well, here goes.’ “Grandma Martha called. She and Grandpa need me in Denver for just a few days. I won’t be gone long and Shawn-D gets to sleep over. Pretty cool, huh?” The twins both laughed and shouted, “yeah!”

“Can we have pizza for dinner?” asked Eric.

“Well, that’s up to Aunt Hope,” said Marlena.

“Sure, anything you guys want,” said Hope, smiling down at them. “Why don’t you put your backpacks inside and then we can decide what kind to get.” Marlena watched as they all ran through the doors, laughing and planning the next few days’ adventures. She hadn’t heard the twins laughing in weeks. Maybe it was a good sign; things were finally going their way.

“He was so excited when I told him we were sleeping over,” said Hope. Marlena opened the refrigerator and took out three juice boxes.

“I can’t thank you enough, Hope. I think we really will find him; I just have to do this. Did Bo get to the airport on time?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “He’s really concerned about you, Marlena. Please take it easy. Don’t get too tired or upset, OK? Bo would never forgive himself if anything happened to you.”

“I will. I’ll be very careful, Hope. I really think everything will work out. Listen, I’ve made a list of the kids’ schedules. Anything you need is here. Carrie will help you out. She know the whole routine and she’s great about that.”

“Good. Have you had a chance to talk to Mom and Pop?” asked Hope.

“I called Caroline and told her I was going to Denver. Kimberly is going to tell Roman and make sure he doesn’t try to see the children until I get back.”

“You don’t think he will, do you?” asked Hope. She hadn’t thought about that but couldn’t imagine Roman even wanting to show his face in the house after what he’d done.

“I hope not,” said Marlena. “I guess I’m going to have to talk to him about what happened. Not that I have any idea what to say to him, but I’ll have to do it at some point. Gosh Hope … this is such a mess! I can’t believe I’m getting on a plane tonight after all this. I know the kids will be fine. Carrie and I talked and she’s better. I guess I should tell you that she knows where I’m going.”

“What?” Hope was shocked that Marlena had told Carrie of their plans. “You told her?”

“Not exactly,” said Marlena. “She was watching me pack earlier and just sort of blurted out ‘you found Daddy’. She’s pretty sharp about things so I’m not surprised she figured it out. I just hope no one else does. At least not for a few days.” Just then the doorbell rang.

“Marlena, your cab is here!” yelled Carrie.

“Oh my, this is it. We’ll call you tomorrow. If you need anything, ask Carrie. There’s money is the top drawer of the china closet. Oh gosh, am I forgetting anything?”

“No, we’re fine,” said Hope. She took Marlena’s arm and led her into the living room. The children were waiting by the open front door.

“Come kiss me goodbye.” The twins hugged Marlena tight as she kissed them both. “Please be very good for Aunt Hope. Homework before TV. No fighting…. deal?”

“Deal,” said Sami and Eric.

“OK. I love you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Carrie, you’ll help Aunt Hope, right?”

“Sure,” said Carrie as she leaned in for her hug. She slipped an envelope into the pocked of Marlena’s jacket and whispered, “Please give this to him.” Marlena touched Carrie’s cheek and smiled.

“I love you,” said Marlena. Carrie nodded and hugged her tight.

“Me, too.”

“Marlena, you’ll be late.”

“Oh Hope, you’re right,” said Marlena, pulling back from Carrie. “It’ll be fine,” she whispered. “OK, I have to go. Everyone be very good. Thanks again, Hope.” Marlena and Hope hugged once more.

“Good luck,” Hope whispered. Marlena nodded and blew the children one last kiss before she grabbed her suitcase and headed for her cab. The children waved and Carrie caught Hope’s eye. They smiled in silent communication. ‘Good luck, Marlena. You’ll need it.’

John tossed and turned most of the night until finally giving up on sleep. He climbed into the tub and turned on the nozzle above him, letting the water pour down over his body. After several minutes he dried off, dressed and looked at his reflection in the dimly lit mirror. Jesus… is that me? He ran his hand through his long, wet hair and over his beard. I should at least get this trimmed. John walked back into the bedroom and sat on the windowsill, waiting for the sun to come up. Today was the day. He would see the first set of documents and then it was on to Montreal. That’s not going to be easy. I can’t drive through the states. I could go back to Mexico City and catch a flight. That would be the best way. Better find direct flight before I get there, though. I’m sure Stephano is looking for me by now. Stephano. John knew that Stephano was onto him to a certain degree; he certainly knew John would leave Venezuela. Just what did Stephano think? Would he go after Marlena now? That was John’s biggest fear; that Stephano would go after her. I’ll rip that old man in two, wheelchair or not. Would he send Simon for her? John knew Simon was completely loyal, he would never betray Stephano. It he wanted Marlena then Simon would do everything he could to get her. At least she’s onto Simon, she knows he’s a fraud. She must have heard most of it by now. Roman’s version anyway. What does she believe? I’m sure his version is damn close to the truth… god damn, I don’t even know the truth anymore. Shit! What am I going to do? John closed his eyes and inhaled slowly, deeply. Allowing the crisp morning air to clear his troubled mind. Calm down. One step at a time. The cops and the ISA are watching her. Not to mention half of Salem. She’ll be OK. She has to be. John stared back into the horizon and waited for 9:00am.

***************

Bo finished his fifth cup of coffee and checked the arrivals board again. Finally! Marlena’s flight from Denver had been delayed and was just posted for landing. PJ Mercado came up behind Bo.

“Gate 19. This way.” They walked through the airport as it began to fill with morning travelers. PJ had met Bo at 2:00am when the Houston flight arrived. They waited another six hours for Marlena’s plane. PJ was the son of one of Victor’s oldest friends. Bo liked him right away. PJ filled Bo in one the little information they had on John Black. It was just a bit more than Victor had told him. Bo gave PJ only the necessary information about John, still feeling the need to protect his ‘brother’. Saltillo was 400 miles north of Mexico City. Victor had arranged for a four-wheel drive jeep to be waiting for them. They could be in Saltillo that evening if the left right away.

“What does she look like?” asked PJ.

“Blonde, about 5’8″, beautiful… ” said Bo, eyeing the passengers as they came one by one through the customs gate. “Believe me, you can’t miss her.” And they didn’t. It wasn’t long before she walked through the gate, scanning the crowd for Bo.

“Whoa,” said PJ quietly. “You definitely don’t miss her.” Bo glanced over his shoulder at PJ for a moment and then waved to Marlena. She caught sight of him and waved back as she came down the ramp.

“Hey, how was your flight?” he asked, hugging her and relieving her of her suitcase.

“Long and crowded. Thank God we finally got here. I’m sorry about the delay. Have you been pacing the airport?” Marlena looked exhausted. Bo shook his head, noticing that her bruise was almost invisible and her lip was barely swollen. Good. John doesn’t need to know about that. “Hi. I’m Marlena Brady,” she said as she extended her hand to PJ.

“PJ Mercado. Nice to meet you, Senora Brady.”

“Please call me Marlena. Thank you so much for helping us.” She took Bo’s hand. “What do we do now?”

“We get a hotel room so you can take a nap,” said Bo. PJ and Marlena both looked at Bo as if he’d gone mad.

“Hey man, we gotta get on the road Bo – “

“Bo, I am not three years old. I do not need a ‘nap’.” Bo shook his head, ignoring both their protests.

“Marlena you look tired. You have to lay down for a while No arguments.” PJ wasn’t sure what was going on but he could see that Bo was concerned for her.

“Hey, it’s OK. We can get you a room for a few hours. Not a problem,” offered PJ, even though he knew they needed to be on the road. Marlena looked at both of them and mustered a smile.

“Listen, both of you, all I need is something to eat. Maybe a little juice. I’ll close my eyes in the car. I’ll be just fine, really. Come on, Bo…. we’re so close. I slept on the plane and I’m too excited to go to a hotel. Let’s just go, please?” Marlena pleaded. Bo looked at her and then his watch. If they left now….

“OK. We’ll get something to eat. But if I think you look tired we’re getting a room. No arguments.”

“Deal,” Marlena said as she took his arm and led him down the departure gate.

***************

John sat down at the small table in the safe deposit booth at the Banco de Mexico and stared at the metal box in front of him. The contents of the box would determine his next move. He slowly lifted the rectangular top and placed it on the floor. Reaching inside, John pulled out the manila envelope. Underneath was the money. A lot of money. Stephano paid Simon and John generously for their loyalty. Simon always liked the finer things in life and went through money like water. John rarely spent any; never caught up in material things. He looked into the box and quickly calculated that there was close to $300,000 in there. Dirty money for sure, but I did earn it. Well, I’m going to need it. John pushed the box to the corner of the table and pulled the papers from the envelope. The note that had been on the front all those years ago was inside:

Things are not as they seem You have been deceived

John stared at the words that meant nothing to him the first time he saw then. Now things were different. Now they were the beginnings of the puzzle. He flipped through the papers and pulled several out. A list of terrorist groups and a notation above named Stephano as a major arms supplier. John recognized every group, recalling several recent incidents attributed to them. Tough to prove his involvement, but interesting anyway. Another set of papers listed the names of people who had worked as domestic help for Stephano from the 1950’s through 1984. Considering the thirty-year time span, it was a relatively small list. Then there were pictures of Stephano with government officials from around the world. John recognized many of them. There were pictures of Stephano with John as a young boy. We were in Rome then. I was what… about ten. Who took these? Flipping through the photos, John pulled out a picture of two people he didn’t recognize. It was a black and white photo of a young couple smiling, their arms around each other. Something about them intrigued him. Who were they? The woman had long, curly hair. She was beautiful. The man was tall and handsome. Both were elegantly dressed, obviously celebrating something. John flipped the picture over. No names or dates. Same as the others. Who are these people? Why would someone send me their picture? The rest of the documents listed addressees of Stephano’s compounds and more names of associates. Nothing new to John. He put all the documents back into the envelope and slipped it into his briefcase. Taking a packet of bills, he decided to come back for the rest of the money later. He needed to go over what he knew so far and find a flight to Montreal. John returned the box and headed back to his room.

***************

Shane and Kimberly were just finishing breakfast when the bell rang. Shane opened the door to find Roman standing there.

“Good morning, Roman. Please, come in.” Roman walked into the foyer and looked around for Kim.

“Hey Shane. Kim called. Said she wanted to see me?” Roman avoided looking at Shane, ashamed at his wretched behavior and embarrased that others knew what he had done. Shane could see how uncomfortable Roman was so he didn’t try to engage him in conversation. He just nodded and led Roman into the dining room. Kim was sitting at the table drinking her coffee.

“I have a call to make so I’ll leave you two to talk.” Shane left the room and Roman looked at the floor, the walls. Anything to avoid Kim’s gaze. She watched him for a moment as he struggled with his guilt. Part of her felt so sad for him. He had lost so much and was obviously struggling with the circumstances in his life. Another part of her was so angry with him. Angry for what he’d done to Marlena, to Carrie. Angry with him for his attitude towards all of them. They were all in a difficult situation; no one knew what to do.

“Please sit down, Roman. Would you like some coffee?” she asked. Roman sat.

“Sure, thanks.” Roman took the coffee and the awkward silence returned to hang in the air.

“How are you?” Kim finally asked.

“Alright, I guess.” Silence. “What’s going on Kim? Did something happen? Is Marlena OK?” Roman had been so afraid that he’d really hurt her. More than just emotionally. The memory of the blood dripping from her mouth plagued his mind. How could I do that to her… I’m so sorry, Doc. I’m sorry. I need to see you, to tell you…

“Marlena is fine, Roman. Her mother called and she had to go to Denver last night. Her father hasn’t been feeling well.” Kim watched as Roman absorbed that information. He let out a sigh of relief, so glad that Marlena wasn’t hurt. He was a bit surprised that she left the kids, though. Kim waited for a moment and then continued. “Hope and Shawn-D are staying with the children. Marlena will be back in a few days.”

“Oh,” said Roman, somewhat distracted. “I was hoping I could talk to her, Kim. I really need – “

“No, Roman. She needs some time. You can talk to her when she comes back. Until then you shouldn’t go over there. Don’t try to see the kids until Marlena gets back.”

“What?” said Roman. He caught Kim’s eyes, her expression. She wasn’t making a suggestion. She was telling him what to do. Kim sat across from him, her eyes locked on his. I’m serious, Roman. Stay away from then until she gets home. Don’t you dare go over there and start trouble. Kim had become very aware of the changes in her brother. Granted, the hell he’d been through would break any man, but Kim had realized that her big brother was a stranger. Gone was the funny, charming goof she grew up with. The person she shared her dreams with, told her secrets. This man was someone she could not read, wasn’t even sure she liked. She couldn’t share that feeling with anyone, not even Shane, but it made Kim particularly wary in Roman’s presence.

“Why? I mean… I was going to stop by later. I wanted to see how Eric did at his game.” Kim shook her head. Roman was beginning to get aggravated.

“No. Don’t go by the house until she gets back. She’ll be home in a few days, Roman. It will only make things worse,” Kim said. She continued to hold his gaze and, eventually, Roman looked away.

“Do the twins know what … do they know what happened?”

“You mean do they know you hit their mother?” Kim asked. Roman flinched and closed his eyes. “No, Roman. She wouldn’t tell them that. She said the bruise was from a box that fell out of the closet. Mom and Pop don’t know either. Marlena doesn’t want anyone else to know, except those of us who already do.” He nodded and looked away, relieved that his other children didn’t know what he’d done.

“Is Carrie OK?”

“Well, she’s better than she was the other night. I have to tell you she’s pretty devastated by what she saw. Marlena doesn’t want her to be upset any further, which is one of the reasons you need to keep your distance. Don’t push them. Don’t make things worse by upsetting Carrie any more.” Kim watched as Roman got up and walked the length of the dining room, mumbling something about Marlena’s timing. He turned to Kim again.

“How am I going to fix this if I don’t see them, Kim? I just want to see my kids. I can’t believe Marlena just left without giving me a chance to explain, to apologize… “

“Wait a minute, Roman,” Kim said, “you can’t put this on Marlena! You realize this is a situation you created, don’t you? She wanted to talk to you the other night and when you didn’t like what she had to say you hit her! You can’t possibly think it’s her fault!”

“I’m so sorry, Kim. I’m so sorry I did that! I never meant to hurt her!” he yelled. His frustration again manifesting itself in anger.

“Didn’t you?” Kim asked quietly. She might as well; it had been on her mind for days. “Didn’t you want to hurt her just a little? For what she did? For believing he was you?” Roman turned his back to Kim, not wanting to hear what his sister was saying. Shut up, Kim. Just shut up! Now that she had started, Kim was determined to finish. It had to be said. “Come on, Roman. She brought him into your family, into your home, your bed. She let everyone believe he was you for six years. Six years, Roman! While you rotted in hell. And what happens? The minute you get out you come back for her, for your kids. And what do they do? They don’t believe you. All those years and they don’t even believe you! That must really piss you off, huh?” That did it. Roman exploded.

“You’re damn right it pisses me off! Christ, Kim! I spent seven years in hell, watching that bastard live my life! Watching all of you call him ‘Roman’. Watching my kids call him ‘Daddy’. How the hell am I supposed to feel? My wife let everyone believe he was me! You all believed -“

“That’s right!” Kim jumped up to face him, her anger matching his. “I believed he was you! I still love him, too! Don’t you want to hit me?” Roman stepped back, startled by her comments and her tone of voice.

“Wh… what?” he stammered.

“Come on, Roman … I’m as guilty as she is. So are Mom and Pop, Kayla, Bo, Shane, Abe, the Horton’s, the Salem Police…. Don’t you want to just beat the hell out of all of us? Wouldn’t that make you feel better? Don’t you think we deserve it?” Kim got right in Roman’s face, raising her voice as she spoke. He was suddenly reminded of how feisty and tough his little sister was. He was beginning to get the message.

“Kim, I … OK … I know how wrong I was.”

“Do you? Really? Because we all believed it, Roman. All of us. It wasn’t Marlena’s fault. If anyone is to blame then it’s your buddies at the ISA. They suspected something all along and never said a word.” Roman looked away, unable to deny that fact. Kim continued, “this isn’t her fault. Granted, things should have been easier for you. But you must know what a shock this has been for everyone. Face it, Roman, the twins don’t know you. She was married to John for six years. Legally or not. He was a great father, brother, son… husband. I’m sorry that hurts you so much but it’s true. Now I don’t know everything that’s gone on but I can certainly understand why Marlena is hesitant to believe anything until she hears his side of it.”

“He’s not her husband, Kim. He’s not their father.” He’s not your brother. I am, damnit!

“Why? Because some paper says so? That doesn’t change how they feel about him. It hasn’t even been two months, Roman. Once she gets back you can see them. Sit down with her and talk calmly, rationally. If nothing else at least she believes you’re Roman now. She knows you’re their father. She wants to help the children establish a relationship with you.”

“We can’t do that if she’s not here,” Roman said as he began to pace again. “Maybe I should call her at her folks house. Try talking to her before she gets back.”

“I think you should leave it alone for a few days. Let Carrie calm down and let Marlena take care of things in Denver. I’ll be checking in on the kids and their fine with Hope.”

“Where’s Bo?” Roman asked.

“He went to meet a client. He got that PI license.”

“Oh yeah,” nodded Roman. “I should have figured he wouldn’t come back to the force. He doesn’t know…..”

“Yes,” Kim said. “He knows. I think it’s a good thing he’s out of town, Roman. He was really upset when he found out. Marlena actually had to stop him from looking for you.” Roman closed his eyes. Shit! Just what I needed. He’ll never let me forget it. He’ll hold it against me til I die. Damnit! “Roman, look at me.” He turned to look at her as she continued. “I want you to stay away from the kids, OK? I’ll call you when she gets back. Please Roman, don’t go over there.” Roman headed for the front door with Kim following close behind. He was barely paying attention to what she was saying.

“Yeah, OK. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Roman, promise me…”

“I promise, Kim. Relax. I won’t go over there,” he said as he leaned in to kiss her cheek. “Thanks for the coffee. I’ll talk to you later.” She held the door open for him and watched as he walked down the driveway. He turned to wave as he opened his car door. Sorry Kim. Their my kids and I’ll see them whenever I damn well please.

Simon was still on the phone when Stephano wheeled himself into the main cabin. He had been in his private quarters reviewing the Saudi Arabian deal since the plane took off. Simon had been instructed to get an update on John. Stephano’s people had informed him the minute John left the Caracas estate. He could have easily had John picked up at any time, but Stephano believed it was best to let John play this out his way. It would not matter in the end. John would be back. He would have no other choice. Simon finished his call and hung up the phone.

“Well, he landed in Mexico City three days ago, paid cash for a car, and headed north.” Stephano contemplated this information.

“Has he met anyone?”

“No,” Simon shook his head. “He took one bag with some clothes and the briefcase you gave him. He used the Canadian passport, but he has all of them with him. I haven’t found him, yet. He may not have stopped anywhere for long. You know how he likes to drive.”

“What’s going on in Salem?”

“I’m waiting for an update. We should know by the time we land. Do you think he’s contacted any of them?” Simon asked. He wasn’t sure if Stephano really grasped the possible ramifications of John’s ‘escape’.

“No, I don’t think so,” Stephano shook his head and then shrugged, giving a frustrated sigh. “Ahhh Simon… if he contacted anyone I think it would be Bo Brady. Have the surveillance on the Brady’s increased. Make sure we know of any meetings, phone calls, anything. We will have to stop any attempt at contacting them.”

“Ok,” agreed Simon. He watched as Stephano wheeled himself over to the small console and changed the music. I’m not so sure he hasn’t already contacted them, Stephano. You did not see them together. He is not the same. The John Black we knew is gone. She has changed him. He wants her … needs her… Simon picked up the phone again.

***************

Marlena opened her eyes. Surveying her surroundings, she was momentarily unsure of where she was. Driving. Bo and PJ were sitting in the front seat discussing the possible scenarios once they arrived in Saltillo.

“I don’t think we have to worry about that, man. John wouldn’t do anything like that, especially with Marlena there.”

“I hope not,” said PJ, not sounding too convinced. “We’re about to surprise a guy who seems like he’s had enough surprises. I don’t wanna do anything to freak this dude out.” Bo looked out the window towards the high afternoon sun. Too late, man. Seeing her is definitely gonna freak him out.

“Listen PJ, John is going to be shocked to see us … yeah. But don’t worry. Nothing will happen. He’s not the type to lose it or anything. I just hope he talks to us… I hope I didn’t drag Marlena down here for nothin’.”

“You think he’ll bolt?” asked PJ.

“I don’t know,” shrugged Bo. “I know he’s gonna be real pissed that I brought Marlena down here. That I’m sure of. I just hope… “

“What? What you so worried about, man?” PJ asked as Bo looked back towards the sun. He could tell that Bo was holding something back. Something that concerned him a great deal.

“I’ve heard a lot of crap about John’s past. What he was like before he came to Salem. Believe me, I think it’s mostly bullshit but … let’s just say I hope he’s alone.” Bo’s voice caught as soon as he said the words. He barely heard Marlena gasp in the back seat. Damnit! I thought you were asleep … I’m sorry Marlena. Bo closed his eyes for a moment and then turned his head to face her. He could see the shock register in her still sleepy eyes.

“I didn’t know you were awake, Marlena.”

“Mmm hmmm… ” she nodded. Her eyes never leaving Bo’s.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.” Bo waited for her to respond. She held his gaze for several unbearable moments and then looked away. Bo turned back to stare out the window. Man… me and my big mouth.

Marlena bit down hard on the inside of her lip to fight the urge to scream. She had not even contemplated the idea that John could be with another woman. Her own thoughts never wandered to someone else. Never was it even in the realm of possibilities. Marlena saw herself as part of John. She could never make love with another man. What about him?Never anybody else… Would she find him with someone else when they got to Saltillo? No. He would not do that. I know him. He wouldn’t…. Marlena looked out the window, never noticing the passing scenery. Did she know him? How would he feel about the baby? Would he want it? Did he want her? She had gone to Mexico assuming that if he couldn’t get to her then she would go to him. Never imagining that he might not want her now. Marlena began to twist her wedding ring, recalling Roman’s cruel words. “He’s gone, Doc! He’s not man enough to come back and face the truth. You’d better accept the fact that he’s done with you. I’ll bet he’s in someone else’s bed tonight, celebrating his escape!”No, no, no… They don’t know him! I know him. I know him… Marlena leaned back and closed her eyes. Did she know him? Really? Was he the amazing, wonderful man she had shared the past six years with? Or was he the ruthless, evil monster who did Stephano’s dirty work and tortured Roman? Marlena angrily wiped the tears that found there way down her face. She hated doubting herself. Doubting him. She had been so sure she was doing the right thing. Flying down here to save him. Save them. What the hell was I thinking? I should have listened to Bo. Stayed home and let him come alone. God, please… please let me do this right. Marlena opened her eyes and looked at Bo. She could see the tension in his neck, his jaw. He stared straight ahead, mentally chastising himself for his earlier comments. It’s OK, Bo. It’s not your fault. I’m OK…

Bo couldn’t believe he had said that. Couldn’t believe she heard him. Just when she should have been resting. He silently prayed that bringing Marlena to Mexico wouldn’t turn out to be a big mistake. PJ continued to drive, not wanting to break the silence. Each of them wondering what the next few hours would bring.

***************

Spread across the bed in the dingy room were several documents John pulled from the envelope. He sat in the chair comparing the list of domestic employees in the folder with those he remembered. Several of them had passed away. John remembered an older couple from the estate in Italy. Giovanni and Marisa Vincenti. John was there several times as a boy and then again right before Roman was brought to San Cristobal. The Vincenti’s were always there. They were real nice people. She was a great cook. I wonder if they’re still around… John circled their names. He would have to check on that. Scanning the list again, John noticed another name. Andropolis. Theo Andropolis. John had heard that name before but he could not remember where. John circled that name as well. He leaned back in the chair and took a long drink of beer. Damnit! This makes no sense. Who sent this stuff? Maybe the stuff in Montreal will have more answers. If I could only remember the name in that file. Where is it now? Did Petrov take it? John closed his eyes, trying to place himself back in Stephano’s office that night in 1985. October 21, 1985. John tried to remember what Marlena had done when she hypnotized him all those years ago. Count backwards and…No, no. How did she do that thing? If only you were here, Doc. You could help me remember. Wishful thinking. I’m never going to see her again… She’ll never look at me now…. John shook his head. Tried to stop the memories that rushed his subconscious. “Stop,” he whispered. “Don’t do this again.” He got up, found his way to the bathroom sink and doused his face with cold water. Leaning his hands against the wall he caught sight of the man staring back at him in the mirror. “Asshole,” he said. “You blew it. You had everything and now you have nothing. Squat.” John watched the blue eyes laughing back at him. Taunting him.

‘You fraud,’ they said with a vengeful gleam. ‘It was never real. She knows that now. They all know. She was never you’re wife. You will never be anything but The Pawn.’

“NO!” John screamed as his fist slammed into the reflection. Shattering the offensive image into hundreds of glass shards. The skin on his knuckles tore open on impact. John stood staring at the metal frame hanging above the sink. He slowly became aware of the throbbing in his hand as the blood dripping onto the broken glass. “Shit.” The warm water stung his skin as he washed the blood away and wrapped his hand in a towel. He kicked the glass off his boots and walked back into the room. Finding a broom and dustpan in the closet, he swept away the remnants of the mirror. He wrapped the towel tighter in an attempt to ignore the pain. John sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to focus again. Calm down. Breath. Remember that night. I was still John Black then. I was about to become Roman Brady. I have to remember what was in that file. Petrov must have taken it with him when he took me from the compound. He would never have left it behind. That picture… John reached behind him and picked up the photographs. Studying the face of the couple again, John realized what was so familiar about them. It’s her. It’s the same woman. Who is she? John rubbed his temples. The room was beginning to close in on him. He put the picture in his pocket and unwrapped his hand to inspect the damage. He remembered a drug store down the street. Putting the documents back in his briefcase, John headed for the door.

***************

“Welcome to Saltillo,” said PJ as he pulled into the dusty parking lot and turned off the engine. Bo and Marlena stepped out of the car to get a better look. The sun was just setting in the west and a pink haze covered the small town. Marlena noticed the quiet desolation. The people wandering aimlessly about. What would bring John here? What could possibly be in this town?Bo reached back and took Marlena’s arm.

“I think we should find you something to eat.”

“I’m OK. Let’s look around. I can’t imagine that he’s really here, Bo. What could be here that’s so important to him?” she asked. PJ looked at Bo. He was wondering the same thing.

“I don’t know. We’re going to have to find out after we get some food in you. No arguments. And listen, Marlena, stick close to me and don’t talk to anyone. Let PJ and me do the talking. We don’t want to look too obvious.” Bo looked at Marlena’s blonde hair, white tee shirt and perfectly faded jeans. He couldn’t help but laugh. “Not like you exactly blend in.” PJ let out a chuckle and Marlena shook her head, embarrassed yet flattered.

“I’ll find you a place to eat and then I’ll look around,” said PJ. Bo nodded and he and Marlena followed PJ out of the lot and onto the street. PJ looked around and then nodded at a bar on the corner. The three of them walked towards the bar, feeling the eyes of the local upon them as they moved up the street. PJ pushed the door open and the trio walked in. Bo quickly realized that this was not a place Marlena should be in and turned to PJ. He did not notice Marlena staring at the bar. Staring at the broad shoulders and long, dark hair that hung beneath the Stetson. She stepped forward a bit before Bo grabbed her arm, barely hearing her whisper.

“What? Marlena, did you say something?”

“John,” she whispered. The silence in the bar was deafening. The few locals that were mingling about stopped to watch the strangers as the man sitting at the bar slowly turned his head towards the voice he thought he would never hear again. The azure blue of his eyes was unmistakable.

Carrie shut the door behind her. “Hi, I’m home.”

“Hi you. In the kitchen,” yelled Hope. Carrie walked in to find Hope putting the last of the dishes into the dishwasher. She peeked at the plate warming on the stove. Chicken and rice. “How was practice?”

“Good,” said Carrie. “This smells so great. Sometimes I’m scared to see what’s ‘warming on the stove’. Marlena’s dinners are always sooo gross.” Hope laughed and shook her head at Carrie.

“Come on now. You know she tries.”

“Uh huh,” said Carrie between bites. “She’s been trying since I was five years old. Julia Child she ain’t. Oh, this tastes so good, Hope.” Carrie picked up the plate and went to sit at the table.

“You guys never give her a break.” Hope turned on the kettle. “How was school?”

“OK. It was kind of hard to concentrate.” Carrie caught Hope’s eye and shrugged. “Where are the kids?”

“At Gran’s. They finished their homework so she invited them over for donuts. Of course they had to go.”

“They better bring us back a few!” Carrie laughed. After a moment she had to ask. “Have you heard anything?”

“Bo called this morning to say that they arrived. Marlena’s plane was a bit delayed but they’re on their way.” said Hope. “I really don’t expect to hear from him again for a day or two.” She watched Carrie’s face, waiting for her reaction. “Are you OK?”

“Mmm hmm. I guess so.”

Hope turned off the kettle and poured herself some tea. She sat down across from Carrie. “No one’s here. If you want to talk about it, we can.”

“I just wish I knew what was going on. If Marlena was here she would tell me … the not knowing is driving me nuts! I really miss him, Hope. Do you think he’ll come back?”

“I know, sweetie. I miss him, too. As for him coming back… I’m not sure. I don’t know if he can. At least not yet. I think the most important thing right now is that Bo and Marlena find him. Make sure he’s OK.”

“Do you think they won’t? Find him, I mean. I thought Marlena said they knew where he was?”

“They knew where he was a few days ago. They’re working with that right now. Carrie, listen… don’t worry. I’m sure that Bo will call once they find him. All we can do now is pray that no one finds out where Bo and Marlena went. I think that would be a disaster at this point so we have to keep this quiet.”

“No one will find out, Hope. How could they?”

***************

Roman walked along the pier, the events of the past few days playing over and over in his mind. Any hope he had of getting his life back was shot to hell now. Not only had he made a mess of things with the family, but now Marlena had gone and left town. Kim’s ‘advice’ that morning had only served to aggravate him further. His life was none of her damn business. Roman sat down on a bench near the water. They all knew. His brother and sisters knew what he did to Marlena. They’ll never let me forget it. Especially Bo… Christ… what am I going to do? Thank god he’s not here. All I need is him crawling my frame.

Roman looked around and realized he was in the same spot where Victor and Bo met a day earlier. Bo met with Victor. Marlena left town last night. It suddenly struck Roman. Wait a minute… Something’s going on here. Bo meets with Victor and then leaves town. After everything that happened with me and Marlena she leaves town. Same day as Bo. No way. Something is definitely going on here. Roman thought about the possibilities. Marlena supposedly went to Denver to see her ailing father. Bo went to see a client. Same night. Despite the explanation Kim gave him, one thing seemed obvious to Roman. John Black. This had something to do with John Black. Do they know where he is? If Bo found him then he would go after him… but Marlena? Leave the kids to go after that guy? She better not have left my kids to go after that son-of-a-bitch! Damnit! Did they find him? Kiriakis would probably know, but he sure as hell won’t tell me. Kayla? No, they wouldn’t tell her. Hope… she knows. She knows exactly what’s going on. She’s at the house….Roman got up and walked towards the stairs, determined to find out exactly what was going on.

***************

He must be imagining things. It can’t be her. Not here. John had stopped into La Cantina to grab a beer after the pharmacist wrapped up his hand. He heard the door open behind him and then the faintest whisper sent a chill up his spine. “John.” He turned his head slowly to the right and caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye. Blonde hair. Long, blue jean clad legs. Marlena.

Bo thought he’d heard her wrong until he followed the direction of her gaze. At the bar he could see the profile of the man she was staring at. His hair was long and he’d grown a beard, but there was no doubt. It was definitely John.

“Holy shit…” Bo whispered. Marlena tried to pull her arm away from Bo but he held firm. She looked at him with an unspoken question and he silently shook his head. He pulled her towards a table and PJ followed. Marlena never took her eyes off the bar.

“Bo, what are you doing? That’s him!” she whispered. PJ looked at the man at the bar and then back at Bo. Bo nodded.

“Yeah. And he knows we’re here. Just sit down. We don’t want to draw attention to ourselves or him. PJ, get me a beer and Marlena a soda. We’ll wait here. Just sit tight, Marlena. Let’s see what happens.”

PJ got up and went to the bar. John heard him order two cervezas and a soda. Who is he? God… what are they doing here? What’s going on? Is the ISA outside? No… Bo and Doc wouldn’t set me up, no matter what I’ve done. She’s here… John’s heart was pounding so loudly in his chest he was sure everyone in the place could hear it. He concentrated on breathing. Staying focused. Do I just leave? If I walk out that door will they follow me? Yeah. Bo wouldn’t come all the way down here and then let me walk away. Why did he bring Doc? Oh god, I can’t believe you’re here…

Marlena felt as though she were watching a movie. Totally removed from the events around her. She watched as PJ ordered the drinks. John never moved. Baby, please turn around. Look at me. I’m here. I need you…. His hair was long and he looked a bit thin. The beard looked full from what she could see of it. She had never seen him in a cowboy hat, but since everyone in Mexico seemed to wear a hat he certainly blended in. And it made him look incredibly sexy. She watched as he slowly drank his beer, running his hand over the top of the glass like he always did. Never turning around. It was then that she saw it. The reflection off his left hand from the simple gold band. His wedding ring. Marlena felt her heart skip a beat and she twisted her own ring on her finger. I know you love me… There will never be anyone else. No matter what they think… PJ sat down and handed her a soda. “So we just wait?” he asked Bo.

“Yeah, let’s give him some room. As long as he knows we’re here. Marlena…?” Bo noticed that she hadn’t taken her eyes off John since they walked in. “Marlena, are you OK?” She nodded without looking at him. PJ watched them silently. Man, I hope you two know what you’re doing.

John finished the last of his beer and took a deep breath. He was not a coward. He owed her the chance to spit in his face if that’s what she wanted. Tell him how much she hated him. How he destroyed their lives. John was sure that was the reason she had come to Mexico. She hates me. She needs to tell me that and I owe her that chance. I owe her everything. I love you, Marlena. I’m so sorry. Please try to understand….John stood, dropped several bills on the bar, and turned around. He never raised his eyes as he walked towards their table. Pulling a chair up behind him, he sat down slowly. Never looking up from the table. Never looking at the eyes that peered into soul.

Marlena held her breath as he rose from the bar. She had watched as he turned and walked towards the table. He’s coming over here… Oh John, I knew you wouldn’t leave. I knew it… He sat down across from her but never looked up. She could see the muscle twitching in his jaw. He was wound so tight she could see the vein pulsing in his neck. Relax John, it’s OK. Everything will be OK. She leaned forward, reaching out to touch him but he held his hands back. Fists clenched at his sides.

“John?” she said softly. It felt like a knife through his heart. To hear her call him that. Her voice. The voice that used to whisper his name during the most incredibly intimate moments he had ever experienced. Only then she called him ‘Roman’. Then he was her husband. John felt his breath catch in his throat. ‘John’… Damn… what am I supposed to say? This was a mistake… “Hey man, how you doin’ ?” Bo asked after moment.

John still didn’t look up. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

“John, we’ve been so worried about you. Are you OK?” Marlena asked. No response.

“John,” Bo leaned forward, “we’ve been looking everywhere for you. Are you OK, man? What happened?”

“You shouldn’t have come here, Bo. You shouldn’t be here,” said John. Marlena watched him. Could see him struggling with the desire to run. Look at me, John. I’ve come all this way to see you. Please… He could hear her breathing. Smell her perfume. Every survival instinct known to him was screaming for him to get out now. Save himself and her from the pain that would surely result if he so much as looked at her. Still, he could not leave. He motioned towards PJ. “Who’s your friend?”

“PJ Mercado. He’s been helping us out. What happened that night, John? We’ve heard a lot of shit. We came down here to hear what you have to say, man. Wanna tell us what the hell is goin’ on?” Bo asked. PJ quietly watched the conversation at the table as well as the locals in the bar. They were beginning to attract some unwanted attention. Marlena continued to stare at him. Willing John to look at her. Finally, she could take no more.

“Look at me!” she said, a bit too loudly. The three men turned, startled by her sudden outburst. It had the desired effect. She caught hold of his gaze and would not let go. “Look at me…” she repeated quietly. Their eyes locked; caught between the past and the present. Bo looked down at the table, suddenly feeling like an intruder in the moment. PJ could see what was happening and again caught the locals watching a bit too intently. Time to go.

“I think it’s time to relocate,” PJ said to Bo. Bo looked around and realized he was right.

“Is there somewhere we can go?” he asked John. No response. Marlena and John seemed oblivious to the everything around them. Wrapped in unspoken words and desires. Bo tried again. “Yo, John? We need to get out of here. Is there somewhere we can go?”

“Huh?” John mumbled. “Oh… ahh, yeah. I have a room upstairs…” he said, never breaking contact with the hazel eyes that reflected the memories of a life so perfect. A life he’d stolen. John blinked and shook his head. Before he realized what was happening, everyone rose from the table. Oh man, what am I doin’ ? This is a bad idea. Too late. I can’t back out. I owe her an explanation… If I’m lucky Bo will beat the hell out of me before I have to answer any questions… “We’d better go out the front and walk around.”

They followed John through the front door and around the side of the building. Bo and PJ watched John quickly survey the street and parking lot. Bo gave PJ a knowing nod. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. John led them through the back door and up the stairs. They walked down the long hallway to his room. John pulled out his key to unlock the door and Marlena made a decision. She turned to Bo and PJ.

“I need to speak to John alone. Why don’t you two go get something to eat and give us some time, OK?”

Bo wasn’t sure what to say. He definitely didn’t want to leave Marlena alone with John until he was sure that everything was OK. “Marlena I – “

“Bo…please,” Marlena whispered, giving him a pleading look. I want to talk to him alone. Come on, Bo… Everything will be fine. Just let me talk to him.

John’s hand shook as he unlocked the door. He turned to face them.

“Bo and PJ are going to get something to eat. I’d like to talk to you alone if that’s alright?” she asked. John felt his knees go weak. Oh shit… He looked at Bo and then back at Marlena. They could both see how determined Marlena was. They would have to do this her way.

“Are you sure, Marlena? We could just wait out here for a few…” said Bo.

“No, that’s not necessary. It’ll be fine, Bo. I’m sure.” She kissed Bo’s cheek and turned to John. “You don’t have a problem with that, do you?”

“No,” John shook his head. Resigned to his fate. “I don’t mind,” he said as he pushed the door open. I owe you, Doc. I deserve everything I have coming….

Carrie pulled on clean sweats and a tee shirt and began to dry her hair. Hope had gone over to the Horton’s to get the kids while she jumped in the shower. Sitting cross-legged on the floor in her room, she wondered what was going on in Mexico. Did they find him? Would Marlena call? Carrie realized someone was knocking at the door. She ran down the stairs yelling, “Coming! Hang on.” She pulled the door open and found Roman standing there.

“Hi…” he said hesitantly. Carrie had not expected to see him and wasn’t prepared to respond. She stood there, staring at the man who was once her father. Or so he said. What are you doing here? What do you want? Just go away… Roman shuffled his feet, uncomfortable with her sullen stare and the awkwardness of the moment. He was embarrassed to face Carrie but determined to find out what was going on. He would not be kept in the dark or made a fool of any longer.

“Is Hope here? I need to speak to her.”

“No. She … uh … she’s next door. Getting the kids.” Carrie scowled at him. The images of him hitting Marlena played back in her mind. Blood dripping from Marlena’s mouth. I hate you.

“I’m just going to wait until she gets back, OK?” Roman said as he walked into the house. He surveyed the room, not sure of what he was looking for but hoping to find some clue as to what was going on.

“You shouldn’t be here,” said Carrie. “You’re not allowed to be here.” She stood at the open door waiting for him to leave. Roman turned to look at her. Did she just say I wasn’t ‘allowed’ in my own house? Roman shook his head.

“Listen, Carrie… I’m really sorry about what happened. I know that what I did the other night was wrong. Terribly wrong. I had no right to do that to Marlena. I can’t apologize enough… all I can say is I lost my temper and it will never, ever happen again. I’m so sorry I scared you. I would never hurt you or the twins… I’m sorry, Carrie.” He watched her reaction. She never wavered; never even gave the slightest nod of acknowledgment at his heartfelt apology. Her eyes were cold as she continued to stare at him. Gee kid, give me a break will ya? I’m trying here… you aren’t making this any easier. Roman sighed, resigned to his fate as the villain in this little scenario. “I wanted to talk to Marlena but Kim said she’s out of town. Where is she?” Roman watched Carrie’s face. Would he know if she was lying?

Carrie stood by the door, still hoping he would leave. Not caring to hear what he had to say. Just get out already! I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t care about your stupid apologies… You’re not supposed to be here. “She went to Denver. Grandpa is sick. She’ll be home in a few days. You have to leave.”

Roman didn’t move. “What’s wrong with Frank?” He was hoping to trip Carrie up. Get her to reveal something. He could see that she was a bit nervous answering his questions. Part of him felt guilty for pushing her when she was obviously so uncomfortable, but he was not about to give up.

“Grandma asked Marlena to go to Denver. She’ll be home in a few days.” Carrie stuck to the story. She tried to stay calm and prayed that he would just leave. Hope, where are you? Please get over here. Roman knew she was repeating exactly what she was told to say. It angered him even more to know that Marlena would make his own daughter lie to him. That was a mistake, Doc. You’ve gone too far. You’ve definitely gone too far…

“Hmm,” Roman nodded. “When did she leave again?”

“Last night. You have to go now. You shouldn’t be here.”

“I’m just going to talk to Hope for a minute. It won’t take long.” Roman turned and closed his eyes. I’m sorry Carrie. I’m sorry to do this to you but I have a right to know what’s going on. I know you’re lying for them. Roman opened his eyes only to see a picture of Marlena and John staring back at him. It was their wedding picture. He could feel the dull pounding begin in his head. Damn them… I’m not leaving here ’til I know what’s going on.

“You can’t stay. I want you to leave right now.” Carrie was beginning to get very upset. She didn’t want to be alone with him and she didn’t want him in their house. Why did I open the door? Hope, please get over here!!!

“This won’t take long, Carrie. I’ll just wait for Hope – “

“NO! I want you to get out!”

“Calm down, Carrie…”

“Don’t tell me to calm down! I don’t have to listen to you! I want you to leave right now. Just go!” Carrie’s voice was quivering and she could feel the tears pooling in her eyes. Roman stepped forward, wanting to comfort his daughter.

“Please don’t get upset – “

“Shut up! I hate you! You’re not my father. Get out!” Carrie was becoming hysterical and Roman realized he’d pushed her too far. Kim was right. Carrie was far too upset to see Roman. He made one more attempt at reaching out to his daughter.

“Pumpkin it’s OK…”

“Don’t call me that! My father calls me that! You’re not my father. My father is coming home soon and everyone will know you’re a liar. Wait til they find him! You just wait!” Her words pierced Roman like bullets. It was true. Bo and Marlena had gone to find John Black. Damn her… damn them both. Neither of them heard Hope and the kids coming through the kitchen door.

“Roman – ” Hope was startled to see him standing there. One look at Carrie and she knew they were in trouble. Big trouble.

“Carrie? What’s wrong?” asked Sami. She, Eric and Shawn-D had come in behind Hope and were now staring at Carrie and Roman. Carrie wiped her eyes and tried to compose herself.

“Nothing Sami. I’m fine. Did you bring me a donut?”

“Uh huh.” Sami and Eric looked at Roman and then back at Hope. She could see they were confused and tried to think quick, before they started asking questions.

“Why don’t you three go upstairs and wash up. Carrie and I will be right up. Pick out some good stories for us, OK?” The children agreed and walked slowly past Roman. Looking between Hope and Carrie, the twins knew something was going on.

“Good night kids,” Roman said. They never looked back at him as they walked up the stairs. Roman sighed, turning back to Hope. “I need to talk to you for a minute.”

“Right now isn’t a good time,” Hope said. She walked over and put her arm around Carrie. She could feel the girl trembling and it made her heart ache. Oh Carrie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you here. It’s going to be OK… Hope rubbed Carrie’s back. “Are you OK? Relax, honey. It’s OK,” she said quietly. Brady we’ve got a problem here… This is not good.

“Where are they, Hope?” continued Roman. He figured he’d gone this far. He might as well see what she had to say. Carrie had already confirmed his suspicions.

“Are you OK now?” Hope asked Carrie, attempting to ignore him. Carrie nodded. “Why don’t you go upstairs and wash your face. I’ll be right up.” Hope watched Carrie walk up the stairs before turning to Roman. “I said it isn’t a good time, Roman. I need to get the kids to bed.”

“Did they go after Black?” he asked.

“Bo is meeting a client. Marlena went – “

“Save it! You and I both know she is not in Denver. I want to know what the hell is going on. Where are they? Did they go looking for him?”

Hope took a deep breath. Stay calm. Don’t let him throw you. He’s fishing… he doesn’t know anything for sure. He’s just guessing… “Roman I’m telling you what I know.”

“Bullshit! They found out where he is and they went after him. She abandon my kids to go after that son-of-a-bitch! You know exactly what I’m talking about, Hope. Don’t play dumb with me here!”

“I’m not going to argue with you, Roman. I told you where they are. I can prove it if you like. Call Marlena. She’s in Denver.”

“Yeah. Sure she is. You keep it up, Hope. And when they call you from where ever their NOT, you tell her she blew it! Tell her that, Hope. Tell her she’ll never see those kids again if I can help it!” Roman brushed past her and out the door, slamming it behind him.

“Damn… ” said Hope, leaning against the closed door. “Brady, we’ve got a big problem.” Carrie had been listening at the top of the stairs and crept down when she heard Roman leave. She watched Hope, realizing she had made a terrible mistake. Her outburst had jeopardized everything. She’d broken her promise by revealing their secret to the one person who couldn’t know.

“I’m so sorry Hope…” she whispered.

***************

Marlena walked into the dark room. John followed. He tossed his keys and his hat on the table and turned on the small lamp. It cast a golden shadow over the room. He said nothing. She watched as he walked to the window and glanced out into the darkening street. The muscles in his shoulders moved in spasms beneath his shirt from the tension. No one’s out there, John. It’s just you and me now. John leaned against the window frame, not knowing what to expect. What to say to her now. He’d played this moment out dozens of times in his head but had not expected to see her so soon. Especially not in Mexico. He waited for her to start yelling. Scream at him for what he’d done to her and the children. Perhaps her anger would be some sort of release for him as well. They stood that way for what seemed like an eternity. Marlena, arms crossed, staring at his back. John, long frame leaning against the window. Staring into the dark southern sky. Finally, she dropped her bag on the floor and broke the silence.

“Are you OK?” she asked.

“Yes… I’m OK.” He never moved.

“John, please turn around.” Again the knife twisted. Simon and Stephano had been calling him ‘John’ for weeks. It was his name, after all. But to hear her say it felt like crashing head-on into the lie he had lived for so long. If she knew his name was John then she must know the rest. Most of it, anyway.

“Why did you come here?”

“I wanted to see you. I had to know you were all right. What happened that night?”

“You know… Ro… Roman came home. The ISA made a mistake. Roman Brady came home that night.” And took back his life. His wife. His kids. His job… Everything I’d stolen from him without really knowing it. I swear to you Doc, I didn’t remember until I saw him… I didn’t know they actually went through with it. I didn’t know that I was part of it…. I swear I didn’t know…

Marlena didn’t know what to say to that. She had accepted that truth, but standing there with him … actually confronting the reality was harder then she could have imagined. Needing to see him, touch him, she walked up behind him and reached out. He jerked away, shaking his head.

“Don’t… ” he sighed.

Marlena would not give up. “Hey, come on. Look at me… “

“Doc, stop. Please don’t do this.” John would not allow her to break the wall he’d built around himself. He could handle the anger, knowing he deserved that and more. But not the pity. He could not bear to have her pity him.

“Don’t do what? Two months ago our lives were turned upside down. You disappeared. I thought you’d been kidnapped, killed… a hundred awful things.” Her voice broke as the feelings of dispair filled her yet again.

“I’m sorry, Doc. I’m so sorry about that.”

“Honey… we’ve been trying to find you. After all this time, here we are … and you won’t even look at me? What have I done?”

John turned suddenly, facing her. “You? What are you talking about? Doc, you – “

“You won’t look at me. You won’t let me touch you. What have I done? I’ve been waiting for two months to hear from you. Something. Anything. I thought if there was any way for you to contact me you would. But I heard nothing. Not even a note. Then yesterday I find out that you’re traveling through Mexico – free as a bird. Do you know how frightened the children are? Do you have any idea how worried we’ve been?”

John listened to her words but couldn’t quite grasp what she was saying. Why was she so calm? Where were the tears? The screams? After everything he had done to her and the children… why did she still care about him? “Are they OK?” he asked. Still searching her eyes for some evidence of the hurt and betrayal he was sure she must feel. Confused when he saw no semblance of it. What was he seeing? Could it be?

“They miss you so much. Carrie gave me this,” Marlena said as she reached for her bag. She pulled out the letter and handed it to him, noticing how his hand shook as he took it. Looked at the envelope. DADDY was written across the front. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. I’m so sorry, Pumpkin. I’m so sorry about everything…

“I don’t … Doc … I … ” John looked at her, seeing once again the reflection of a life so perfect in her beautiful eyes. You’re so beautiful … you have the most incredible eyes… Why? Why do you care? You do still care, don’t you?

She could see him struggling for the words. Stepping closer so she was only inches from him, she looked into the most incredible eyes she’d ever seen and asked, “What? What is it?”

“Why are you here?”

“You know why I’m here… ” she whispered, reaching up to trace his jaw beneath the beard. Finally, she was allowed to touch him. He did not pull away. He couldn’t move. So caught in her gaze and the warmth of her touch he almost forgot to breath.

“Doc … I want to … ” Run! Get out of here before I hurt you more then I already have… Oh god, Doc… you’ll hate me even more if I don’t get out of here…

“What, John? What do you want?” she whispered again as she ran her hand through his long hair. I’ll give you anything … everything … “Tell me… “

John reveled in the feel of her body so close to his. Her jeans brushing against him. You … oh god, I want you … Stop! I have not right to do this .. no right to touch you … Oh Doc, please don’t hate me… John reached up to trace her cheeks, her lips.

“This… ” he breathed, barely able to speak. “I want this…” he leaned in to her, losing himself in the sweetest kiss as he pulled her into his arms.

Hope turned to see Carrie crouched down at the bottom of the steps. Wide-eyed. Tears streaming down her cheeks. Hope leaned against the doorframe and tried to gather her thoughts. After a moment she asked, “Are you OK?” Carrie nodded quickly. “Don’t cry,” Hope said.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry… ” Carrie sobbed. She couldn’t believe what had happened. Marlena had been gone all of twenty-four hours and all hell broke loose. Roman knew. Because of CarrieOh Marlena I’m so sorry. I know you trusted me. I’m sorry Daddy…

“It’s OK, Carrie. He’s guessing. Calm down. He’s just a bit upset and he doesn’t know anything for sure. We expected him to be suspicious, just not this soon. We’ll call Marlena’s mom in Denver and let her know. It’ll be OK.”

“Marlena trusted me. She told me what was happening, Hope. I blew it! He knows because of me!” Carrie couldn’t stop crying. She wiped the unwanted tears from her face as she tried to compose herself. Hope came to sit next to her on the steps, realizing that this stress was way too much for a fifteen year old girl.

“Take a breath, Carrie.” She rubbed the girl’s back and waited. “OK? Now listen to me. Roman is upset and he’s guessing. He doesn’t know anything for sure and you certainly didn’t do anything wrong. You shouldn’t be caught in the middle here. So Roman will try to find out where they are… that’s OK. Bo and Marlena expected that. Let them take care of it. Don’t you worry anymore, OK? I have a few phonecalls to make. I want you to go upstairs and read a story to the kids. I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

Carrie looked at Hope and then at the front door. “Do you think he’ll come back?”

“No. He’s going to see what he can find out. There’s nothing to worry about. No one knows where they are except us and we didn’t tell him, right? Don’t worry.”

“He said Marlena would never see us again… “

“He’s angry. People say things they don’t mean when they’re angry. He’s not coming back tonight. Go on up. I’ll be up in a minute.” Hope watched Carrie go back upstairs and listened to make sure she went in to read to the kids. Oh shit, Brady … this is bad. Roman is really pissed. I’ve got to talk to you. Hope grabbed the phone, remembering Roman’s threat. ‘She’s never gonna see those kids again if I can help it’. Her hand shook as she dialed the phone. Waited for someone to pick up.

“Yes,” a man’s voice answered.

“I need to speak to Victor right away.”

***************

He ran is right hand through her long, blonde hair as his left hand covered the small of her back. Pulling her still closer. Her lips parted as she leaned in, deepening the kiss. Arms wrapped around his neck. Breathing was no longer a necessity as desire became the life-force sustaining them. He had existed for this moment. Whatever the future held for him no longer mattered. She was in his arms and all was right with the world. His world … his lie. What the hell am I doing? I can’t do this… I have no right to touch you, Doc… you’re his wife, not mine. Not mine… not minenotminenotminenotmine…

“No, no….. ” he gasped, breaking the kiss and pulling her arms from his neck. Holding her hands away from his body, he leaned down to rest his forehead against hers. Steady himself. “No,” he said again.

Marlena panted quickly, trying to catch her breath and figure out what happened. “Wh… what? Baby, what’s the matter?” she asked. Searching his eyes for some sign. Why are you pulling away? John I want you so much! I know you want me …. It was obvious how much he wanted this. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest and she pulled her hands from his. Reaching for his again before he could pull away, she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Why did you pull away? What’s wrong?”

“This. Everything. I can’t, Doc.” He pulled her arms away without looking at her. Unable to look at the hurt in her eyes. You’ll hate me for so much as looking at you, Doc. I thought you knew everything but I guess you don’t … Damnit! How do I tell you what a bastard I am? I love you so much … how can I hurt you even more? John walked over to the window and again stared out into the night sky. Fists clenched in his pockets as he struggled to keep his distance. The dull pain from his injured hand a welcomed distraction. He stood there, waiting for her to ask the questions that would eventually destroy them forever.

Marlena stood in the middle of the room, bewildered. One minute she was in his arms, where she had longed to be for weeks, and the next minute he was pushing her away. Again. Marlena glanced down at her wedding ring. In all the years they had been married he had never pushed her way. Not until Simon Cole entered their lives. Marlena closed her eyes for a minute. OK. So we’ll talk about it. We’ll get past this. We can find a way. We can do anything…. God would not let us come this far… our baby needs you…. Marlena’s hand went protectively to her stomach.

“John … I know why you’re doing this.”

“Why are you here then?” His own frustration and anger evident now. He could not bear to be near her. In the same room with her. It took every ounce of strength in him to stay away from her. The sound of her breathing pounded in his head.

“I’m here because you’re my husband – “

“No, Marlena! You know I’m not your husband! You know I’m not Roman! We can stop this little game now. Stop pretending you don’t know. You called me ‘John’!” He hadn’t intended to raise his voice but the irony of the situation had gotten the best of him. He could no longer contain his anger. Marlena stared at him. Again, hearing him say the words she knew to be true was devastating. Like a blow, she felt the physical ache ripple through her body. It doesn’t matter. It’s the past. I know you love me … we’re having a baby…

“John…”

“That’s right! John Black! ‘The Pawn’. Stephano DiMera’s puppet! I’m not Roman Brady. Never was. The whole damned thing was a lie! I’m not a son, not a brother, not … a … father … a …. husband. I am not your husband, Marlena!” He fought the urge to put his fist through the window, especially since that move had already ripped one hand apart earlier that day.

Marlena listened to his ranting. Her own emotions brimming. Finally, she spoke out. “You’re not my husband? We were together for six years and now you’re not my husband? According to whom?”

John shook his head, refusing to play with words. “I know you’ve heard it all. Roman’s version anyway, which is probably pretty damn close to the truth from what I can remember. I thought I could find out the rest before I turned myself in. I wanted to be able to tell you everything before that.”

“What do you mean… ‘turn yourself in’ ? What are you talking about?” she asked nervously. She wasn’t sure where this was leading and could feel the panic stirring again.

“The ISA,” John sighed. “I wanted to find out exactly what happened to me. I wanted to find out what I did for Stephano before I turned myself over to the ISA.” He leaned against the window frame again. I’m sorry. I wasn’t ready to do this yet. I don’t want to hurt you anymore, Doc….

Marlena let his words register. ‘What I did for Stephano…. What happened to me’ Oh god…no. NO, NO, NO!!! Please don’t tell me… Did he really work for Stephano? Was Roman right? Was it all part of some evil plan?

“What do you mean… ‘find out what happened to you’? Don’t you know?” she asked, still trying to weigh his words.

“No,” he shook his head, still refusing to look at her. “Not really. I remember most of what happened up until Petrov grabbed me in 1985. After that I remember being in Salem, ‘the Pawn’, then… you know the rest. I thought I was Roman Augustus Brady until that night at Shane’s house. Seeing him, that face… I don’t know. I guess it unlocked a lot of memories that were buried inside me.” He stood waiting for her to respond.

Her mind raced as she contemplated what he was saying. It could happen. The mind can certainly suppress unwanted memories. Seeing Roman would be the trigger to release them. OK. It could certainly happen. He didn’t know. He didn’t plan any of it. He was a victim in all of this…. .

“Petrov? He brought you to Salem, right? Then he and that doctor led everyone to believe you were Roman? Oh, honey … it’s not like it’s your fault. This was done TO you! You have nothing to hide from.” She walked towards him as she tried to rationalize the events that had gotten them to this place. Surely he wasn’t to blame.

John let loose a low, bitter laugh. “Oh Doc, you’re so wrong. It is my fault. It’s all my fault! I did everything that bastard wanted me to do. If Stephano ordered it, I did it. I’m guilty as hell, regardless of what Petrov did to me!” He turned to face her advancing form. “Don’t you see? I’m nothing but DiMera’s pawn. I always have been, I just didn’t know it!” She reached for him but he pushed her hand away. “Don’t! How can you touch me? Why would you want to?” His voice broke with the agony of each word. He was disgusted with himself and his life. Sure that he would only destroy anything she felt for him eventually. Run, Doc! Get out now before I won’t be able to let you go…. He knew the closer she got the harder it would be for him to resist her. He wanted her so much he could barely breath, barely think. The closer she got, the more danger they were both in. She reached out to him again, this time brushing her hand gently across his chest.

“John…. I’m your wife… I love you… I know you love me…. “

“You are not my wife! I am not your husband! You belong with Roman Brady, the real Roman Brady! I’m not him. He’s your husband… you belong with your kids, your family… your husband!” He was shaking as he grabbed her hands and pulled her towards him. No longer able to fight the urge to touch her. His need so desperate the consequences no longer mattered. “Oh God… Marlena… ” he groaned, pulling her into a kiss so possessive she felt her heart stop. Her breath caught as she wrapped her arms around him. The low moan in her throat was almost his undoing. He spun her to the left and pushed her against the wall. Tearing her arms from his neck and pinning them above her head as he broke the kiss. Both were left gasping, breathless. He struggled to regain his composure, knowing that to continue would only destroy her. Tried to clear his head and stop this before it went to far. As if he could. Marlena looked into his eyes, blazing blue and hot with desire. Need. Struggling beneath his grip she could feel his pulse racing. His breath on her skin. She felt a slow, lusty smile creep across her swollen lips. There would be no turning back. This love would not be denied.

“Do you really want me to go home to him?” she whispered in a deep, throaty voice laced with passion. “Do you want me in his bed?”

John could feel his chest tighten and every primal instinct in him screamed out. “NO! No, no, no…..” he moaned. Shaking his head to wipe away the offensive image of her in anyone else’s arms.

“No… ” she smiled, capturing his mouth once again. He leaned into her. Hungry for more then just her mouth. His hands released hers and found their way to her waist. He pulled at her tee shirt, tugging it from her jeans and up over her head. Wanting to feel his skin against hers, she did the same. Running her nails down his back as he devoured her neck. Nipped her shoulders. Anything to taste her.

“Oh god… I need you so much… I love you. I love you, Doc…. always…”

“Baby, I love you. So much. I’ve missed you so much… ” She reached down to unbutton his jeans and he stopped to look into her eyes. The unspoken question hung in the air. Are you sure? Are you sure it’s me you want?

“I want you. Only you,” she whispered as she ran her hands over his sweaty brow. “Never anybody else…”

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore…”

“You never hurt me…. never. I love you, John Black. I love you,” she breathed, tracing his lips with the tip of her tongue. John reached down and pulled her up into his arms as she wrapped her legs around him. Kissing her neck and shoulders, he carried her to the bed and gently stood her on the floor. She locked her eyes to his as she undid her jeans. He gently lay her down onto the mattress and pulled the jeans off. She stopped him before he could lay beside her. Smiling with anticipation as she ran her toes along the zipper of his jeans. He caught the passionate glaze in her eyes and laughed as he pulled them off. Leaning over her, taking in the sight of her in his bed once again. She reached up to pull him down to her. Running her fingers through the course hair on his perfect chest. Over the muscles in his shoulders. She knew every curve, every angle. He watched her, mesmerized. His skin aching for her touch.

“Do you have any idea how much I missed your body? I love your body… ” she whispered, trailing his chest with kisses. John struggled to maintain control as her lips set his body on fire. She was incredibly beautiful. Her whole body glowed. She looked more beautiful then he’d ever seen her. He reached down to remove her bra and panties. Slowly drinking in the length of her from toes to nose.

“You are so beautiful… So amazing… I love you so much. I love you!” She saw the fire in his eyes and reached down to tug at the waistband of his boxers. He watched her pull them slowly down his thigh and then he shook them from his foot. Gently pushing back into the bed, he leaned in to taste her.

“You have the softest skin … mmm… you feel so good, Doc… ” Allowing his tongue to move in the familiar dance with hers as his hands reacquainted themselves with perfection. He could have taken her the moment she walked into the bar, but he was determined to bring her pleasure for as long as he could hold on. She lay back, letting his hands and mouth move across her body. Giving her the sweetest sensations she had ever known as he whispered words of love and desire. She gripped the bedcovers as he continued his worship, sending shivers down her spine. She had never wanted him more then she did at that moment. He caught sight of her fist gripping the covers and pulled it to his lips. Stared into her eyes as he kissed each finger and then her palm. Her other hand moved down his body to gently massage him, give him the pleasure he’d been lavishing on her.

“Mmm… Doc…” he moaned, closing his eyes. He brought his forehead down to rest on hers as she continued her sweet torture. Seeing he could hold out no longer she guided him to her. He opened his eyes and searched hers, waiting to see some hesitation. Some doubt. Brilliant hazel eyes held desire, longing, passion, need… incredible love. No doubt. No regret. They held each others gaze as the perfect union of their bodies brought them to heights they had never known before. John brought his hands up to her face. Placing one on each side of her head as he moved above her. Watching her. She arched her back to meet him as his movements quickened. Searching her eyes as he whispered, “Yes?”

“Yes… yes, yes!” she whispered.

“Yes… ” he smiled, leaning in to kiss her as they fulfilled each other’s desires once again.

Victor listened as Hope relayed the events that had taken place in the Brady home. He had expected Roman to be suspicious, ask questions. Just not this soon. He definitely thought Bo would have more time. This could be a problem.

“Can you get in touch with him now, tonight?” asked Hope.

“Yes. I will contact him immediately. He or I will be in touch with you,” said Victor.

“When? Will he call me tonight? Please Victor, please tell Bo to call me as soon as he can.”

“I will do my best to contact him tonight, Hope. If he can’t call you right away then I will. You did the right thing. Just sit tight and wait until you here from us.”

Hope listened to Victor’s instructions and felt herself bristle at the commanding tone in his voice. Us…. I can’t believe this… Of all the people in the world… Relying on Victor did not come easily to Hope. She couldn’t help feeling it was a move that would haunt Bo. True, they had no other choice. There was no one else who could help them. That fact did little to ease her discomfort. What will Mom and Pop say? Abe… the police department… Hope swallowed back her displeasure. “OK. I’ll wait to hear from Bo. Please let me know and… thank you, Victor. Thanks for everything.”

Victor could hear Hope’s teeth grind as she forced the words out. Small steps… what did you really expect… “No need for thanks, Hope. We just need to stay one step ahead. I’ll be in touch.” Victor hung up the phone and turned to Nick. “I need to get in touch with my son. Have the jet ready to go, just in case. And Nick, put someone on Roman Brady. I want to know his every move.”

***************

Bo finished the last of his rice and washed it down with a slug of beer. He couldn’t pronounce anything PJ had ordered bit it sure tasted good. It didn’t take his mind off Marlena and John, though. I shoulda stayed with her… Bo looked out over the Mexican sky as the waitress came out to check on them.

“Cerveza?” she asked.

“Si. Dos,” said PJ, finishing the last of his meal. Bo nodded as she took both empty plates from the table. PJ looked up and watched Bo for a moment. Victor Kiriakis’ son was a lot like the big Greek. Quiet, always on his toes, staying in the game. PJ didn’t know the story behind Bo and Victor’s relationship but figured it must be interesting. His father had never mentioned that Victor had a son before. Bo looked over at PJ and shrugged at his unspoken question.

“Just thinkin’,” Bo said. PJ nodded. “I can’t help worrying about her, ya know,” he continued. “I don’t want her to get hurt … like disappointed I mean. Not that he’d do anything. Just this whole damn thing. They love each other… ” Bo shook his head and emptied his beer, glancing over to see where the waitress went. PJ had been waiting for Bo to say something. The intensity of Marlena and John’s reunion had changed his mood considerably. Bo looked down at the table as he ran his fingers absently through his hair. Yeah… they love each other… The power of their love was nothing new to Bo. He had witnessed many similar moments between them over the years. They had this incredible connection. His relationship with Hope was very similar. Almost, but not quite. Thank God we haven’t had to go through what they have… I miss you, Fancyface… I love you…. Hope was so much like Marlena. Strong, independent, smart… beautiful. They had learned so much about life and love from watching Roman and Marlena. No… not Roman and Marlena. John and Marlena… he is John Black… not my brother…. They had watched John and Marlena struggle to be together, overcome the incredible obstacles put before them by Stephano, Orpheus, the ISA. They showed everyone that true love can conquer all. But where does that leave Roman… Bo closed his eyes. The guilt had been creeping up on him all day. Marlena was his brothers’ wife. Legally. John was NOT his brother. Biologically. If Bo knew anything, he knew Roman loved Marlena. He could see it in Roman’s eyes every time he looked at her. Every time she didn’t look at him. Roman may be an asshole, he might not deserve her… but he loved her. He’d been through hell and he fought his way out just to get back to her. And here I am… handin’ her over to the other guy. Damnit!!! Bo opened his eyes as another beer was placed in front of him. He had no time for guilt. Not now. There would be plenty of time for that later. Two small ‘beeps’ broke the silence. PJ pulled something from his pocket and looked at Bo.

“We need to get to a phone. Now.”

***************

He slowly ran his fingers through the blonde hair cascading across his chest. It felt like silk. Smelled like lilacs. John let his fingers trace a lazy pattern across her back as she slept in his arms. She had the softest skin. He’d been laying there, listening to her breath, for what seemed like hours. Never wanting to move. Never wanting to break the peace of those moments. He would not allow himself to sleep, even though he was exhausted. Afraid he would wake to find it was all a dream. You’re so perfect…. I love you so much, Doc He could not believe she was in his arms again, wanting him. John Black. They had made the most amazing love. She knew who he was and she wanted him anyway. After everything he’d done. He could feel the muscles tighten in his chest. No… something else is going on. Why did you come here? What aren’t you telling me, Doc? He leaned forward, gently moving her onto the pillows. He tucked the covers around her as she reached out in her sleep, murmuring his name.

“John… baby… “

He reached down to touch her shoulder, kiss her cheek. “Sshh… go back to sleep. I’m here.” John watched as she snuggled in, comforted by the sound of his voice. He reached down to grab his jeans from the floor and stepped into them. Something wasn’t right. He could feel it. There was something she wasn’t telling him. John walked over to the window and checked the street again. Still expecting to see Stephano or the ISA waiting to pounce on him at any moment. John turned to watch her, leaning back against the windowsill. You’re here. I know you love me… really love me… but you left the kids to come find me. Why? What’s been going on in Salem? John was beginning to realize that Marlena had hardly mentioned Salem. Said nothing about Roman. Nothing about his return. Nothing about how the kids were handling it. It just didn’t make sense to him. Her children were the most important part of her life. Family was everything to her. Yet here she was. In Mexico. In his bed. Why would she take such a risk? It would have made more sense for Bo to come alone. John almost expected that. Why would Bo let Marlena come? What aren’t you telling me? John looked down and noticed the white envelope on the floor. Carrie’s letter. He picked it up and looked back at Marlena. What was she keeping from him? He pulled the chair closer to the table and slid the small lamp over. Again struck by the printing on the envelope. DADDY. Opening it quietly, he pulled the letter out and unfolded it. A picture fell into his lap. They were all standing in front of the snowmen on the front lawn. The last family picture they had taken. He smiled at the memory as he began to read.

Daddy, If you’re reading this letter then Marlena and Uncle Bo found you. I’m so glad! I hope you’re OK. I miss you so much. So do the twins. We love you, Daddy. We will never believe the lies people are saying. Marlena said you were trying to find out why that man says he’s Roman. He’s crazy, Daddy! Please come back and tell everyone that he’s lying. I know he’ll hurt Marlena again. He already hit her. I’m so afraid of what will happen next time. I hate him so much! He is not our father. You’re our father. Marlena said you still loved us and we love you so please come home soon. Please don’t leave us here with him. We need you, Daddy. Please come back. I love you always….. Your daughter, Carrie xoxoxo

John’s eyes burned with unshed tears and anger. He could feel the cold sweat dripping down his bare back. Carrie’s words screaming out in his mind. He’s crazy…. We’re afraid… He hit her…. John stared down at the picture still in his hand. Roman hit Marlena. Hurt her. His children were frightened. Son-of-a-bitch! What the… Roman had taken his anger out on Marlena and the kids. Everything John did to him. His head began to spin when Marlena stirred in bed, breaking his angry fugue. It made sense to him now. She had not mentioned Roman’s return or how the kids were handling it. Because they’re not… She had no idea what she would find in Mexico, yet as soon as they found him there she was. Why? Was she running away? Was she more afraid of living in Salem with Roman then of what finding John could mean? Damnit, there has to be more…. What could be so important that you would leave the kids in Salem… He’s in Salem… He walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. Watching her. So calm. She amazed him. She looked as beautiful as ever. Perhaps more. He reached out to touch her hand, her wedding rings. He had noticed in La Cantina that she still had her rings on. With this ring I thee wed…. Til death do us part… He should have known. All these weeks away from her, lost and alone, he thought she would hate him. Despise him for the lies and deceit. He should have realized that she would not turn away from him. You’d be better off, Doc… you should have walked away… John gently lay down next to her. How could he expect her to walk away. God knows he wouldn’t, couldn’t walk away from her. But as much as he believed in her love, that niggling of doubt was still there. He had to find out what she was hiding. There had been too many secrets in his life. Planned or not. He could not live with any more. Something told him whatever she was keeping would change their lives forever. There was more to this then what happened between her and Roman. He traced her cheek with his thumb and saw her eyes flutter, then open. Marlena tried to focus in the dim golden glow. She could feel his eyes on her. Always watching.

“Hey you,” she whispered in a voice raspy with sleep. His heart pounded in his chest as their eyes locked.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” John said. Blue eyes piercing into hazel, searching. Something in his voice, his expression, caught her off guard. She couldn’t tell if it was anger or fear but something was not right. They had just made the most incredible love and fallen asleep in each others’ arms. What was wrong with him? She reached up to touch him and could feel him flinch. Uh-oh…. what happened…

“John? What is it?”

He leaned in to kiss her ever so lightly. “I love you,” he whispered. Still watching.

“I love you too… “

“More then anything in this world…. “

“John… “

He brushed his lips against hers. “What happened in Salem, Doc?”

She heard that same inflection in his voice and knew this time it was anger. She tried to sit up but he leaned over her. Putting his forearm on the other side of her so he lay directly above her, preventing getting up.No running away, Doc… I want to know right now…

“Honey, what are you talking – “

“Don’t do that, Marlena. I know you’re keeping something from me.” His voice was low. Determined. Her eyes darted across the room and she saw it. Carrie’s letter. What did she tell him? The baby … no, Carrie doesn’t know about the baby. Roman… oh no… she told him…. She could feel her breath quicken. Afraid of his reaction if he found out exactly what had been going on in Salem. Should she tell him about the baby now? Marlena wasn’t sure how to tell him but she definitely needed to distract him. Reaching up, she ran her fingers through his hair, over his beard.

“Did I tell you how much I like the beard?” she whispered, leaning up to kiss him. He tried to resist her warm lips on his mouth but it was useless. He helplessly allowed her to deepen the kiss, welcomed her parting lips beneath his. When they broke she smiled at him.

“Mmmm…. you feel so good… ” Hoping her distraction would be enough. It wasn’t.

“What did he do to you?” John persisted, forcing the words through clenched teeth. Struggling to stay calm. The image of Roman hitting her flashed in his mind. He hurt you… It’s my fault….

“Nothing,” she lied. Unable to look at him. Marlena concentrated on his chest, his shoulders. Avoiding his eyes as long a possible.

“Nothing?” John tipped her chin up and kissed her nose. “Not according to Carrie… “

Marlena wasn’t sure if the pounding she heard was her heart or his. Not that it mattered. “I don’t want to talk about this, honey. Let’s not do this. It’s over… I’m fine… “

“He hurt you.” John’s voice trembled as he said the words. Fighting to stay in control of the rage that filled him at the thought of anyone hurting her. “It should have been me!” He shook his head quickly in attempt to push away the anger he knew would frighten her. I left him in hell and he took it out on you! I’m the one he should have come after … not you… not you…

“No, no, no… ” She cupped his face as tears of frustration fell onto her fingertips. “We had an argument. He was angry. It will never happen again…. John, baby, it’s over. Come on, it’s over. I’m fine…” She wiped his cheeks, ignoring her own tears.

“He hurt you,” John choked. “It’s my fault. Carrie’s afraid now… Doc, I’m so sorry… ” His frustration and exhaustion wearing him out. Marlena kissed him gently.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. We’re together. I love you… I love you… ” she whispered as she pulled him down to meet her.

“I love you… ” he whispered surrendering to his desires once again.

Hope opened her eyes at the sound of footsteps upstairs. She had fallen asleep on the couch waiting to hear from Bo. Glancing at her watch, she realized the kids were getting ready for school. Brady why didn’t you call? Oh jeez, what’s going on now… Hope pulled herself up with a groan and called up the stairs.

“It’s after seven… is everyone up?” Her answer was a chorus of ‘yeahs’. She headed into the kitchen to start breakfast but decided to try Victor first. The private number she dialed rang only once.

“Yes?” the hurried voice answered.

“Victor?” she asked.

“Hope…” he sighed. Victor had been waiting for PJ or Bo to answer his pages all night. He had Nick try several times but there was still no reply.

“Did you hear from Bo?” Hope asked. She was suddenly overwhelmed by that feeling of … dread. She knew what Victor was about to say. Something’s wrong… Where are you, Brady?

“Not yet. I’m expecting to here from him shortly.” Victor hoped he could make this brief. He quickly realized his daughter-in-law would not be dismissed.

“What do you mean ‘not yet’? I thought you were going to get in touch with him last night. Don’t you have a number or something?”

“Yes, Hope. My associate in Mexico has a pager. I’ve rang them several times and expect to hear from Bo soon.” Victor tried to give nothing away. He didn’t want Hope to sense his concern. Her police training got the better of him.

“What’s going on, Victor? What’s wrong? And don’t tell me ‘nothing’. Something is obviously very wrong or Bo would have called you. He promised to stay in touch!” She tried to stay calm, realizing the children would be down any minute. This is nuts! This whole thing is turning into a disaster!

“Hope, I’m going to give Bo until noon. He was expected to call today anyway. If I don’t hear from him by then I will send someone into Saltillo to look for them. I’m sure everything is just fine – “

“I’m not, Victor! I’m not sure at all! I want to talk to him. I want to know where my husband is!”

“Calm down,” Victor said. His voice measured as not to lose his temper. He was tired and had no patience for Hope’s emotional outburst but did not want to upset her further. “We will give him until noon. I will call you at noon, if not before, to tell you exactly what’s going on. There could be any number of reasons as to why we haven’t heard from him. What’s your schedule today?”

Hope said nothing, silently contemplating Victor’s words as she debated calling Shane for help. No, I can’t call Shane… Bo would kill me if the ISA got into this. Bo’s missing, I have to find him! OK, stop… think… Bo trusts Victor. I can’t betray Bo’s trust now… I have to wait. I have to … trust … Victor. Oh god… Victor waited. Sensing Hope’s internal struggle.

“Hope, I will call you the moment I know anything. You have my word.”

Hope took a deep breath. Victor Kiriakis’ word. OK, he’s trying. Yelling and screaming won’t help anyone … especially Bo and Marlena. It’s not as if I have a choice anyway… “I’m sorry. I have to get the kids ready for school and then I’m going to the station. How about if I check in with you when I get there?”

“Fine. I’ll expect to hear from you then. And Hope, I’m sure they are just fine. I think our concerns will prove to be unfounded.” Victor tried to reassure her and himself. He did a lousy job.

Hope hung up the phone as the twins and Shawn-D came bursting through the kitchen door. “Hi guys. Hungry?” Hope tried to sound cheerful, allowing the children’s morning chatter to distract her from the reality of the situation. Carrie trailed into the kitchen as Hope was pouring milk into everyone’s cereal.

“Morning…. ” she mumbled.

“Hey sleepyhead,” Hope said. “How are you doing?” She reached over to kiss Carrie’s cheek.

“OK. Want some?” Carrie asked Hope as she poured herself some coffee. Hope nodded, watching her face. It was obvious Carrie had cried herself to sleep. Her eyes were red and puffy despite the bit of make-up she wore. Oh sweetie, it’s going to be OK…. everything will be alright….

“What can I get you for breakfast?” Hope asked.

“This is fine.”

“No, Carrie. You cannot have coffee for breakfast. How about some eggs? Cereal?”

“I fine,” Carrie said.

“I picked up some cantaloupe yesterday. How about we split one? Sound good?” Hope asked.

Carrie looked up and smiled weakly. Hope was trying so hard. “Sounds good,” she smiled.

***************

Stephano had been waiting impatiently for Simon to come down. They had received information that both Marlena and Bo Brady had left Salem two days earlier. Their contact had reported that they had left Salem separately, but Stephano knew better. Marlena and Bo were together. Looking for John Black. Have they found him? Damn Simon! How could they have found him so soon? Why the hell haven’t you?! Stephano pushed himself away from the table in disgust and wheeled out onto the terrace. Breathing deeply, he allowed the cool morning air to calm him. Marlena and Bo could not have found John. It was impossible. John would never allow them near him if they had. He has to know by now … some of it anyway. If he cares for her at all he’ll stay as far away from her as possible…Stephano could not stifle a bitter laugh, shaking his head ruefully. ‘If he cares for her.’ Of course John cares for her. It was obvious how much he loved her. Loved all of them. Stephano was nothing if not observant. He could sense John’s anguish every time they had discussed the past. Roman’s captivity. Richard Cates’ assignment in Salem. He had seen John cringe at the mention of Richard. Guilt was something Stephano had never seen in the old John. His John. It had been a useless emotion to him. The John who lived Roman Brady’s life for six years was indeed a different man. Stephano had not wanted to see it, didn’t want to admit it to himself. Now there could be no denying the obvious: John Black was a changed man. Her love had changed him. Stephano had let himself believe that once John’s memory returned, he would reject the life he ‘borrowed’. Would gladly return to his past. Would choose Stephano and Simon over life in Salem. Over her. Stephano cursed silently. How could I have been so foolish … I should have known… he’d never choose to leave her… no man would ever choose to leave her…. Stephano looked out at the morning sun and nodded. It would not matter in the end. John would still be back. He would have no choice. There is no where for him to go…. no where he will be safe. No way of him ever finding out who he really is….

Simon walked out to the terrace, watching Stephano’s contemplation. He had nothing new to report and was not anxious to share that. Simon believed it was a mistake to leave John in Caracas. His suspicions had been correct. John was not the same man; he felt no loyalty to them. No desire to return to their world. His devotion to Marlena had destroyed that. Damn her! She never stops …. it’s always about her…

“Good morning,” said Simon, breaking the silence. Stephano turned to face him and could see that there was nothing as of yet. He inquired anyway, needing to vent his anger on someone.

“Where are they?”

“She is not in Denver. I don’t know exactly when she left but she definitely got off the plane when it landed.”

“Well where did she go? Did she leave the airport at all?” Stephano’s voice boomed, his frustration boiling over.

“I don’t know yet,” Simon answered hesitantly. He tried not to sound defensive, hating the role of whipping-boy for all that had gone wrong. You never should have let him stay here. If you had insisted he come to Saudi Arabia we wouldn’t even be having this conversation….

“Bo?” Stephano’s eyes narrowed as he stared at Simon. Know exactly what the younger man was thinking.

“I’m waiting to hear when he landed in Mexico. We should know before noon.”

“Damn! Who the hell are you using, Simon? We pay these people enough money! Why the hell is it taking so long to get a little information? Bo and Marlena could be meeting with him right now and we don’t even know where they are!” Stephano was red-faced and screaming now. Simon tried to calm him down.

“Stephano, I – “

“Ahhh! Get out! Get out of my sight! Get some goddamn answers, Simon!” Stephano dismissed him with an angry wave of his hand and turned to face the morning sun again. Simon walked back into the dining room cursing under his breath. This is not my fault… you blew this one, not me … damn her…

***************

Marlena stirred, turned toward the warm breath on her neck. They had fallen asleep a few hours earlier, spooned in each others’ arms. John never woke as he instinctively pulled her closer. She reached back to touch his cheek and rolled over to face him. Her eyes slowly opening to gaze at him. He looked so peaceful. Dark and beautiful. She brushed his hair out of his eyes and let her fingers trail down to his beard, his mouth. She ran her fingers slowly over his lips and was startled when his mouth suddenly popped open, swallowing her fingertips. She laughed as he opened his eyes, grinning as he clamped down gently.

“You sneak!” she giggled. He smiled sheepishly as he released her.

“What can I say, you know I always wake up hungry.”

“Mmm… yes, I remember,” she whispered, draping her arm around his neck.

“Got anything for a starving man?” he teased, rolling over so she lay beneath him.

“I think I might have something you – ” He caught her lips before she finished. Feeling her gasp beneath him as his tongue slid into her mouth. Her bare legs automatically pulling up as his body pressed closer. He left her mouth to run his tongue along her neck. Taste every part of her. She ran her hands down his back, fighting the urge to sink her nails into his skin as he ran his hand over her breasts. Touching her ever so gently.

“I love you… mmm …. so much,” he whispered into her skin. “This is the only way to wake up… “

“John… oh, I love you… I want you so much… you feel so good… ” She brought her hands to his face, pulling him up to her so she could see his incredible eyes. The mirrors to his soul. He looked down at her through oceans of blue desire and her heart skipped a beat. My god… What she saw in those eyes never ceased to amaze her. He loves me … really loves me…

“I will always love you. Do you know that?” she whispered. “Always.”

He brushed his thumb over her lips. Felt her soft kiss. “Always… ” he whispered as he leaned in to kiss her again. She felt his chest tighten against her suddenly as he turned his head. Listening. He stayed that way for a moment. Alert. Ready to move.

“John?” she asked. Immediately sensing something wrong. Silently he put his fingers to her lips and shook his head. Climbing off her and grabbing his pants in one motion. Pulling the pants up while he reached under the bed to retrieve his gun. Checking the barrel, he motioned for her to be still when she sat up in the bed. Marlena’s heart began to pound wildly in her chest. Someone found us … What if it’s the ISA? They’ll arrest him … Oh god, what if it’s Stephano … or Roman … John slowly moved to the door, listening. He leaned against it and waited for the right moment. Snapping the lock and pulling the door open quickly. John reached out and grabbed the intruder, pulling them in and slamming the body up against the wall with a loud ‘thud’. John brought the gun up only to realize the face staring down the barrel was Bo’s. John slowly pulled the gun back, releasing the breath he had been holding.

“Jeez … Bo… ” he sighed.

“Sorry, man.”

“No, no … I’m sorry. I heard someone. I should have known… Sorry.” John shook his head as he released the fistful of Bo’s shirt.

“Hey, it’s OK. Better you keep on your toes, right?” Bo caught sight of Marlena sitting in the middle of the bed. Sheets pulled up to cover her obvious state of undress. I’m definitely interrupting here … Bo could feel his face flush as his eyes made contact with hers. She smiled a bit at his embarrassment. Sorry, Bo…

“Good morning,” she said.

“Hey, how ya doin’?” he asked. A loaded question. Bo knew Marlena intended to spend the night with John. He knew she’d most certainly be in John’s bed. He just wasn’t sure how he felt about it. At the moment he didn’t know what to think. She’s Roman’s wife, isn’t she? What about her and John… They’re a family… oh man…

“I’m fine, Bo. Really.” She gave Bo a slight nod, answering all his silent questions.

John watched the unspoken communication between them. Whatever she was keeping from him, Bo knew what it was. OK, what’s the deal here? What are you two hiding from me … and why? John thought that what had gone on with Roman in Salem was what she was keeping secret, but seeing her and Bo told him otherwise. There was something between them. Something he should know.

Bo realized he was holding a bag in his right hand. “Oh … I got you some juice and a sweet roll. You got to eat something.”

“Thanks,” Marlena said. Reaching up to take the bag, she saw John watching them. Closely. Bo, quiet … please don’t say anything about the baby… he doesn’t know …

Bo turned back to John. “PJ and I stayed at the rooming house across the street. We’re gonna have breakfast then we gotta call Victor.”

“Victor? Kiriakis? Why would you call him?” John asked, momentarily distracted from what was happening in front of him.

“We got a lot to talk to about, man. I’ll tell you later. Why don’t you meet us when you get … uh … when you two are ready.”

“Sure …. that sounds good,” John said. Bo started to speak again when Marlena bolted from the bed, pulling the sheet around her as she ran into the bathroom.

“Doc?” John started after her but was met with the slamming door. They could hear the wretching sounds as they stood silently in the middle of the room. Both staring at the door. John slowly turned to Bo, raising his eyebrow in silent inquiry. Bo looked away, giving John his answer.

John closed the door behind Bo and turned to watch the bathroom again. Leaning against the wall as the reality set in. He waited for her to open the door. Confirm what he already knew to be true. It’s what she had been keeping from him. She’s pregnant … she’s … we’re pregnant… John closed his eyes, overwhelmed with both joy and sadness. The best news at the worst time. Their child. His child. Roman Brady’s return had changed everything. John had to give up everything, everyone he loved … including three perfect children. They are his … not mine… Carrie’s words screamed out to him again. They are afraid of him … oh god…John sank to the floor. Allowing his head to rest against the wall. He couldn’t think about that now. If he did surely he would lose his mind. He had to stay focused. Stay in the here and now. He had been give a second chance. With her. To be a father. What if he screwed up again? Could he make it right this time? Memories of fatherhood flashed through his mind. Birthdays, swings, football games. The twinners were already running around by the time I showed up. We never did get to do all that baby stuff…. He couldn’t help but smile in anticipation.

John quickly opened his eyes and stared back at the closed door, shaken by the sudden realization of why she may not have told him about the baby. Why she was keeping it from him. She doesn’t want this baby … oh god … What if she doesn’t want it? … nooo …. she loves her children more than life itself … she wouldn’t… His hands came up to cover his eyes. Blind him to the possibility that Marlena did not want his child. His palms pressed into his forehead as if to push the very idea from his mind. She couldn’t want this! To bring a baby into this mess … No matter how much she … loves me … Yes she does! She loves me … she does …. He slowly wiped his eyes open. The closed door now served to protect him from losing this most precious gift. It’s her choice … it is. If that’s what she chooses to do then I won’t stop her. I can’t … I have no right … not anymore … John thought of their child. Her smile. Beautiful eyes. The ache in his heart so constricting he struggled to breath. He shook his head, silently fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. If it’s not meant to be then I can’t push her. If she doesn’t want this baby… John jumped up suddenly when he heard the handle and Marlena appeared in the open door. Wrapped in the sheet, she stared at him for an endless moment.

“You OK?” he finally breathed, trying not to sound too desperate or frightened.

“Fine. I’m fine… ” she whispered. Distracted by the sound of her heart pounding in her chest. He knows … of course he does. He’s not a fool. Why else would I go running into the bathroom first thing in the morning… Oh John, we’re having a baby … She watched as he nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. She tried to speak. Tried to find the words to tell him. The sound of his voice broke her thoughts.

“Um… OK. Bo and PJ are across the street. We need to get over there so why don’t you jump in the shower first.”

“John… “

“Bo said something about Victor. He needs to fill me in and I guess I’d better do the same, huh? I have to tell him -” John was rambling on about talking to Bo as she stared into his eyes, trying to figure out what he was doing and why. I know you know, John … you know I’m pregnant. Why don’t you just say it? ” – so I’ll get your stuff and be right back.” He pulled on a t-shirt and grabbed his boots. She watched him pull them on and open the door. “Everything you need is in there and clean towels are under the sink. I’ll be right back.” He was gone before she realized what he said. Marlena stood in the bathroom doorway, still holding the sheet around her. Left to wonder if John just walked away from her and their child.

**************

Hope finally got the kids out to the bus and headed for the station. Abe had promised her a good assignment and Hope welcomed the distraction. I need a case. I need to keep busy and let Bo do what he has to do. He’s fine. They all are … everything will be fine… She had decided her only chance of surviving the morning would be the power of positive thinking so she ran with it. By the time she arrived at the station, Hope had convinced herself everything would turn out just the way they planned. Happy endings all around. She smiled to herself as she turned down the rear corridor behind Roman’s office. The back door was slightly ajar and she could hear voices. One was Roman’s. Hope stopped near the door and pretended to busy herself with one of the files in her hands.

“I’m glad you called, Captain Brady. Mickey Horton is an old friend of mine.”

“Yeah, well … when he said he couldn’t take the case he recommended you, Ms. Chambers.”

“Please, call me Liza.” Hope took a step forward when she heard the woman’s name. Liza Chamber? The lawyer?

“OK, Liza. Call me Roman. I want my kids back. Can you get them for me?” Roman’s voice was calm, steady. Hope could sense a determination that frightened her. Oh shit…..

“Well Roman, I think once we sit down and get all the facts of your extremely unique situation in order, we should be able to come up with an arrangement that will satisfy everyone.”

“Not good enough. I want my kids. Their mother abandoned them to chase after a murderer.” Roman’s voice never wavered. Never broke. Liza Chambers watched him for a moment. He was good.

“Roman,” she began, “Marlena Evans is a well-respected member of the community. She is a senior staff member at University Hospital – “

“She allowed that murderer to pose as their father for six years. She has been lying to them. To everyone,” Roman continued. He stared right through Liza Chambers. Never blinking. She could see he meant business.

Hope flipped through the file she was holding with trembling hands as two officers came down the corridor. She turned her back to Roman’s office until they passed and them moved a bit closer. He wants the kids? Oh Bo… this is not good…

“Are you saying you want full custody – “

“I’m saying I want my kids back. I want my house back. I want my life back. She let that bastard take everything and now I want it all back. Starting with my kids. That’s what I’m saying, Liza.” “You are still legally married to Dr. Evans, aren’t you?” she asked, feeling the icy chill emanating from him.

“You can take care of that, too. He can have her.” Roman flinched just then. It didn’t go unnoticed. “I just want what’s mine. I don’t want John Black anywhere near my kids ever again.”

“Do you realize what a custody fight would mean, Roman? Assuming Dr. Evans doesn’t hand the children over to you, you’ll have to prove she’s an unfit mother. In court. Are you prepared to do that?”

“Her actions should speak for themselves. For six years she lived a lie with an impostor. She abandoned her children … MY children … to be with a man wanted by the police, the ISA and the FBI. His presence in their lives put them in great danger. She told my children to lie to me. I don’t think proving her ‘unfit’ will be so difficult.” Anger and vengeance dripped from Roman’s every word. Liza was fairly accurate when it came to reading her clients. She could usually read someone in about thirty seconds. Her feelings about Roman Brady were somewhat unnerving. He is one mad cop. The worst kind. Watch the psychological profile here….

“OK. You said she is not in … what was it? Denver? So we’ll need to file temporary papers naming you custodial parent until she returns. Once those papers are filed you’ll need to move back into the house. It’s still in your name, right? OK, that should be done in about 48 hours. Who is with the children now?”

“My sister-in-law. My brother Bo is out of town. With Marlena, I’m sure, but no one is saying. The kids should be fine with Hope til I move in. I can do that tonight,” Roman offered.

“No,” said Liza, shaking her head quickly. “Don’t do anything until the paperwork is filed. Don’t tell anyone of your plans, either. The element of surprise is all you have at the moment. If Dr. Evans returns before the papers are filed then we’ll need to regroup. Just sit tight while we prepare the paperwork. I’ll need to see you in my office this afternoon to signs some things. You are aware that my retainer is $5,000.?”

“Yes. I’ll bring the check with me.”

“Fine.” Liza gathered her coat and moved towards the door. “Have you considered under what grounds you’ll want to file for legal separation?”

Roman leaned back on his desk and slowly nodded. “Adultery.”

Hope closed her eyes when she heard the outer door to Roman’s office click. She breathed slowly, trying to maintain her composure as the corridor began to fill with people. Oh no … he’s going to sue her for custody … he’s going to move into the house? Carrie will freak … Damnit! What now … oh god … Victor …. Hope turned quickly and headed for the precinct desk. She needed to get out of there and over to Victor’s as soon as possible.

***************

Marlena pushed the eggs around on her plate as Bo and John traded details. Bo had found it difficult to hide his anger and frustration upon learning the truth about John’s identity.

“So you really work for DiMera?” Bo hissed in disgust. He was leaning back in his chair staring at John in disbelief. Part of him wanted to rip John in two. Or at least try. PJ quietly watched. Having already decided to cover Bo’s back if necessary.

” ‘Used to’, Bo … I used to work for DiMera.” John watched his one-time brother’s face crumble before him. Damn, I’m sorry… so sorry Bo. I wish things were different… “I’m sorry, Bo. I know it doesn’t matter much now and I wish I could give you more answers. I’ve told you everything I know so far. I can only assume that there will be more information in Montreal.” John watched as Bo thought about all he had heard and struggled with the pain. “Bo, I know you’d like nothing better than to kick my ass right now and you’d have every right but please believe me … I never knew. Not until Roman walked into Shane’s study that night. I swear to you, Bo. I didn’t know.”

Bo stared at John for a moment and then turned to Marlena. Studied her face. “You believe all this?” he asked, knowing what her answer would be.

“Yes,” she said. “I believe him, Bo.” She could feel John’s eyes on her as she reached out to take Bo’s hand in hers. “We did the best we could, remember?” She stared at Bo until he finally met her gaze. She nodded again and he finally shrugged back.

“Yeah. The best we could,” he whispered. “What about…” he asked, but Marlena squeezed his hand before he could finish. Bo understood.

John caught her gesture and spoke then. “So what do you want to do about Victor?”

“We’ll, we weren’t able to answer his pages last night,” said Bo. “We couldn’t get an international operator. PJ said sometimes it’s rough overnight.” With that, PJ nodded slightly. “He’s beeped a few times so I think we’d better get to a phone.”

“OK,” said John. “Let’s head over to the bank. I’ve got some stuff to take care of and I’m sure we can get the manager to let us borrow his phone. Ready, Doc?”

“Mm hmm…” Marlena nodded. She couldn’t bring herself to speak to him, yet. Still stunned by his earlier rejection. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up … It’s hard enough to have a child under the best of circumstances… what did I expect? She stood with them as they headed for the door, thinking of the words she had just spoken to Bo. It was so easy to believe in John. So easy to believe in his best intentions. Like I said … we did the best we could…. Whatever the day brought them, whatever they found out, when it was over she was going home. Back to Salem. Back to her children. If he didn’t want his child then it was over for them ……

February, 1992. Commander Roman Brady was working late again. The Torres family was expecting a shipment of cocaine from Columbia. Rumor had it this shipment would be twice as big as the last one. The overtime was really starting to piss him off. He had missed so many things the past few months his kids didn’t even ask him when he’d be coming home anymore. He took a gulp of lukewarm coffee. “Damn it!” he shouted. Looking down at the files on his desk he noticed the date on the calendar. February 4th. His wedding anniversary. One of them anyway. Roman stares at the calendar and tried to remember that day nine years ago. 1983 was still a blur to him. He closed his eyes. She was walking towards him… he could smell her perfume. Lavender Skies. God , she looked beautiful.

She took his hand. “I love you,” she whispered.

 

He could feel himself standing next to her, hear her breathing. He couldn’t remember specifics about that day, though they had talked about it a hundred times. The wedding Roman remembered took place August 22, 1986. Not that it mattered. After everything Stefano and Orpheus had done to them all that mattered was that they were together. Roman picked up the picture on his desk. She was sitting in front of the

 

Christmas tree with Carrie and the twins. Looking at his family, he was overwhelmed by the sudden fire in his chest. “They are mine,” he says out loud to no one. Lately he’d been feeling extremely possessive of his family. Maybe it was the history he and Marlena shared, the gaps in his memory, or just the damn Torres case. Whatever it was, he wanted… needed to see his wife. Roman picked up the files on his desk and grabbed his leather jacket. “Hey Schoefield, tell Abraham I’ll be back in few hours.”

Marlena watched as the afternoon sun burned into the passing scenery. Never seeing the scattering of houses and shops, ranches and cantinas. They had been driving for hours through small towns and open plains on their way to the Mexican border. Arrangements had been made for PJ to take them across the border into Texas. Victor and his lawyer would be waiting for them at a ranch owned by another ‘associate’. Marlena closed her eyes and replayed the conversation she had with Hope again in her mind. Roman was planning to sue her for custody of the children. He knew she and Bo had gone looking for John. This can’t be happening … I have to get home. If I talk to him he’ll understand … he will … Oh God! Please! … I have to get home … Hope had told her about Roman’s confrontation with Carrie. I never should have told her … she shouldn’t have had to go through that … Damn! The words played over and over in her head til she thought she would scream: “Roman figured out that you found John. He told Liza Chambers that he wants the kids and the house. He’s filing for divorce … adultery .. I’m so sorry, Marlena.” Her family was in shambles and there she was, driving through Mexico on her way to meet Victor Kiriakis of all people! She knew the minute they got to Laredo she was calling the airport and flying home. I have to stop him. Of course the divorce in inevitable … but he will not take my children. There is no way in hell anyone is taking my children away from me…

“Doc?” John’s voice startled her and she realized they had stopped driving.

“What? We’re here?”

“No, we’re just making a pitstop. We’ve got another two hours ahead of us. PJ needs to make a call so we figured we’d get something to eat. Come on.” John got out of the car and reached for her hand. She stepped out and looked around. They were parked at a roadstop alongside a small river. It all looked the same to her now. So far away from Salem. I have to get home. She let go of his hand then, wrapping her arms around her waist and turning her back to him. The emotional distance tearing them apart. John sighed, searching for the words to bring her back as Bo came up behind them.

“PJ said he’d meet us inside. Let’s get something to eat.”

“I think I’ll just stretch my legs for a few minutes, Bo.” Marlena turned towards the river and started to walk away. Bo tried to reach for her arm.

“Come on, Marlena. You gotta eat.” He could see the tension in her back and knew that the stress, combined with the heat and her lack of appetite, was not good for her or her baby. And he had promised Hope.

“Why don’t you go get us a table, Bo. Order for us and we’ll be right in.” John nodded to Bo as he followed Marlena towards the water. Come on man, you’re gonna have to get this out in the open sooner or later … it’s obviously upsetting her, too. OK, just stay cool … don’t get angry at her .. . Bo watched them both before turning towards the cantina in search of cold cerveza. Great … just great …

Marlena looked past the water towards the horizon, aware of his presence and it’s irony. So close, yet so far away … She would have given almost anything to feel his arms around her at that moment but the walls she’d begun to build around herself wouldn’t allow it. They stood quietly in the afternoon sun for several minutes before John finally found the courage to speak.

“You’ve been real quiet, Doc. Wanna tell me what’s on your mind?” Marlena shrugged, still not looking at him. “Hey… ” He touched her arm but she flinched and pulled away. John closed his eyes and slowly counted to ten.Don’t fold now … don’t let it go … “Marlena, please talk to me.”

“And say what,” she whispered, still not turning around. “What do you want me to say?”

“Anything! Yell, scream, cry -” That did it.

“I’m tired of crying! I’ve cried enough these past two months to last a lifetime!” She spun around to face him then, hands gesturing wildly in frustration. “My children are falling apart! Roman is going to sue for custody. I’m thousands of miles away and have absolutely no idea what the hell I’m going to do! I have to go home. I have to get out of here!” The tears she fought so hard to hide began a slow trail down her cheeks.

John reached out again, this time taking hold of her shoulders as she breathed deeply in an effort to calm down. It took a moment for her to realize he was touching her. She could feel her heart quicken in spite of herself as she raised her eyes to him. You are so beautiful … if only things could have been different … I love you so much……

“I’m sorry,” he said softly as he pressed a gentle kiss into her hair, somewhat encouraged when she didn’t push him away.

“It’s not your fault… “

“Sure it is. It’s all my fault and we both know it, Doc.”

“No,” she shook her head as she looked down at the dusty ground. “I never should have let this happen. I let myself get caught up in the fantasy … the ‘happy ending’. I should have known better.” Her voice was barely a whisper. He tried to get her to look up at him. The happy ending?

“Doc… “

“Hey, what did I expect?” she laughed somewhat sarcastically as she pulled back suddenly, walls firmly in place once again as she wrapped her arms protectively around herself. Steeling herself from further rejection to focus on the survival of her children, her family. Staring at him almost defiantly as she remembered the door slamming behind him that morning. The pain so fresh, an open wound that continued to bleed.We don’t need you …

Shocked by the sudden change, John tried to ask. “What are you talking -“

“Oh, come on! You know exactly what I’m talking about -” Her voice broke then, so caught in his gaze she could no longer find the words. The silence hung between them with a power that would not let them look away.

John could hear her heart pounding in her chest as his own sang out. I love you, Doc … just say it … I love you …

“I’m … ” Marlena closed her eyes tight, cursing herself for allowing her emotions to escape. Damn you … I don’t need you … we don’t need you … She could almost hear him, hear exactly what was running through his mind. ‘Yes you do … you need me as much as I need you….’ She opened her eyes and looked up at him. She saw it then. That slight smile he couldn’t hide. A gleam in those blue eyes. The way his voice caught just before he spoke.

“I know. I just want to hear you say it.”

Determined to maintain her protective stance, she spat the words out. “I’m pregnant.”

“Mmm, hmm…” he nodded. Watching her. Fighting the urge to take her in his arms. I love you always … I know you love me…

“I just wanted you to know,” she continued, trying to sound calm and keep her voice from shaking, betraying her emotions again. She could hide nothing from him. “You have no obligation to us, you know. I’ll be fine. We’ll be just fine.”

“When were you planning on telling me?” he asked, sincerely wanting to know. Not prepared to trust what was unfolding before him. She loves me … she wants this baby … she has to …

So unprepared for the emotions stirred at telling him about the pregnancy she stumbled over her words. “Of course, of course I was! Do you thing I would come all this … come here and … and not tell you? I just… “

“Do you want this baby?” he asked.

“Of course I do! How could you ask me that?”

“How can I? Marlena, you didn’t say one word about it and obviously didn’t want Bo to tell me either. What am I supposed to think?”

“John, I planned on telling you but so much happened so fast and then this morning … You practically ran out of the room … “

He took hold of her hands then, pulling her towards him so that their bodies touched. “Oh Doc, I was so scared. I thought you didn’t tell me because you didn’t want it. I didn’t know what to do, that’s why I left this morning. I know it’s your decision and with everything being such a mess … I have no right to tell you what to do.” He held their joined hands to his chest and searched her eyes again, wanting to be sure of what he saw there.

“I wanted to tell you yesterday, John. Really. There’s been so much going on, so much to tell you. I just didn’t know where to start.”

“Are you sure about this, Doc? About having this baby?”

“Oh God, yes!” She smiled up at him then, her face beaming with pride. “I want this baby more then anything in the world. It means everything.”

“Everything,” he whispered, gently wiping away her fresh tears as he rested his cheek to hers. “Thank you, thank you so much … ” She closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of him. Allowing the tension of the past few hours to melt away. Replacing it with the newfound joy at his reaction to the news. Our baby. This is our baby … She could feel his heart pounding against her cheek as he held her tighter. Could feel him gently kiss her hair, whispering reassurances to her. “We’ll figure this out. Some way. We will… “

“How?” Her hands found their way around him.

“I don’t know just yet, Doc. But we will. We have to.”

“Mmm.” She could have stayed that way forever. His arms around her. The sounds of the river behind them. Their problems seemed so far away at that moment. If only it could last. She pulled back to look up at him again. “I have to go back. The children will be so upset if he moves into the house, John.”

“Let’s talk to Vic’s lawyer and find out what’s going on. You should probably call Mickey Horton once we get to Laredo. Find out what he thinks.”

“OK. I think once I get home and talk to Roman this will be OK.” She could feel him bristle at the mention of Roman’s name. She rubbed his back softly. “I’m going to have to talk to him. There are things I need to say. I owe him that, John.” The muscle in his jaw flexed as he fought to hold his tongue. It won’t help now. She’s right … she’ll have to see him. He did his best to drive away the angry thought and stay in the moment.

“Yeah well, first things first. You need to feed my child.” He laughed then, his eyes crinkling in the sun as he placed his hand over her abdomen. She covered is with her own.

“Our child.”

***************

Hope had returned to the Brady house to find Kimberly waiting for her. They shared small talk while Hope made tea and they settled themselves at the kitchen table. Hope tried in vain to keep from staring at the phone, not knowing if she wanted it to ring or not. Please don’t call while Kim’s here … just my luck, he’ll call and she’ll answer it! Kim had been watching Hope’s obvious internal struggle and decided to stop wasting time and just ask her.

“Have you heard from him yet?”

“Huh, what?” Hope stammered.

“Bo. Have you heard from him?” Kim asked again.

“Yes, uh huh. He’s fine.” Hope tried to stay cool. She knew Kim was fishing for something. If Roman figured it out then it was a good bet that Shane had, too. Hope knew that Shane wouldn’t reveal too much to Kim just yet, so this was her way of finding out what there was to know. You are good, Kimmy. I just have to stay one step ahead of you.

“Where did he go? Chicago?” Kim continued.

“Chicago, yes. He’s following up on a PI case.” Hope met Kim’s eyes and they held each other in visual standoff, neither giving way until Kim finally blinked.

“OK, I can’t stand it anymore. Where are they, Hope? I know Bo and Marlena went to find John. Where did they go? Did they find him? Is he OK?” Kim searched Hope’s face for some response and was met with Hope’s silent stare.

“Bo is in Chicago, Kim. Marlena went to Denver to take care of her father.”

“Oh, come on! You and I both know that’s not true, Hope. Shane left early this morning and I know it’s about Bo and Marlena leaving town. She would never leave her kids, Hope. Not with everything that just happened between her and Roman. I don’t want you to break a confidence, just please tell me if they found John.”

“Kim, I’ll tell you the same thing I’ve told everyone else: Bo is in Chicago, Marlena is in Denver. If you want to call her go right ahead, her mom’s number is next to the phone.” Hope sipped her tea and watched Kim out of the corner of her eye. I’m going straight to hell for this … Kim glanced towards the phone and then back at Hope. Her frustration now getting the best of her.

“So if I call Denver and Marlena’s mother answers she’ll just say what? ‘Oh, I’m sorry dear. Marlena stepped out for the afternoon. I’ll have her call you.’ Is that what I’ll get if I call Denver, Hope?”

“I don’t know, Kim. I know she is helping her mother take care of her dad.” Hope could see that Kim was buying none of it but she knew she had to stick to the plan. If everything went according to plan then Marlena would be back in Salem in less then 48 hours and the custody petition would be blocked. Please God, please let this work…..

“I can’t believe you won’t tell me, Hope. This family has been through so much, I don’t think it can take too much more! Why can’t you at least tell me if they found him?” Kim was truly upset and Hope struggled with the urge to give her just a little information to ease her mind. Her guilt made her waver slightly.

“Kim, please. Bo loves this family. Marlena loves this family. Trust in the decisions that they make. They really are trying to do what’s best for everyone.” Hope prayed that Bo would not feel she betrayed him by giving Kim some encouragement.

“Then they are together?” Kim leaned forward, a bit stunned at actually getting Hope to reveal anything. “Bo and Marlena are together? They really did find him, didn’t they?”

“I didn’t say that, Kim. I said that they both love the family and will do what’s best for everyone.” Well, that’s not giving away much, really. What else could I say… Hope silently wished Kim would go so she could wait by the phone in frustrated anticipation for Bo’s call.

“OK, so I won’t ask again. I guess we should just brace ourselves for whatever happens next, huh?” Kim asked, eyeing Hope curiously. Hope sipped her tea and looked away. Yeah … brace ourselves … that’s a good way of putting it. Please call, Brady … please….

Roman watched the boats sail in and out of the harbor as the evening grew darker. He had gone to Liza Chambers office to deliver her retainer and sign the final papers. Papers that would give him back his children They’re my kids…. Papers that would end his marriage. What marriage… Taking a deep breath, he fought the urge to hit something, someone. John Black. If only I could get my hands on that lousy bastard!Everything wrong in Roman’s life was because of John Black. Not Stefano. Roman could have beaten Stefano. He could have escaped from that twisted old man a hundred times if it weren’t for John Black. Always there. Always taunting him. After John left it was Simon. Not quite as nasty as John, not quite as ruthless, but a close second. They never let up. Never allowed Roman any peace. First it was John and his damn questions. Questions about Roman’s life, his job, his family… and Marlena. Always Marlena.

Your wife is really amazing, isn’t she? The quintessential dreamgirl… smart… successful … independent. And gorgeous. Really beautiful, huh Roman. All blonde hair and long legs. I’ll bet she smells great, too.

Roman shook his head but the memories would not go away They never went away. John’s words still haunted him after all these years. He saw Simon’s fucking videos every time he closed his eyes. They never let up. Never gave him any peace.

What is that called? Oh yeah, Lavender Skies. Bet she knows just where to put it, too… all the sweetest spots… Guess what? I got a bottle just for you. I’ll leave it right here. Even open the top for you. Mmm… that sure smells sweet, doesn’t it Roman? You just lie back and try to get some sleep…. And Roman, I’ll be back soon…

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, filling his lungs with the crisp night air. He could still feel the ties that held his arms to the bed, rendered him helpless as the smell of her perfume filled the dark room. Then the videos arrived. He remembered how it felt to lie in that bed and smell her perfume while the giant TV screen shattered the memories he held so close. The memories that had kept him sane were replaced with the images of betrayal, of a life stolen. Roman gasped for more air and shook his head violently, willing his mind to block out the torture that never let him rest. Never let him forget. Images of other men with his children. Other men with his wife. John and Marlena. They were together again. Roman knew it. He felt her betrayal again, cutting though him just as it did the first time. And the second time ….. Damn her….Divorcing Marlena and getting custody of his kids would be the beginning of his new life. A life without her. She’ll know exactly what she threw away and she’ll be sorry. Every day, for the rest of her life, she’ll know…..

***

“Where are they now?”

“In the living room talking to Vic’s lawyer. Some hotshot guy named Derek Wright.”

“How is she, Bo? Is she OK?” Hope asked.

“I don’t know, Fancyface,” Bo sighed. “She’s been real quiet ever since we left Saltillo. I think they had a fight or something but I guess they worked it out.”

“You got into Texas pretty quickly. Did you drive straight through to Corpus Cristi?”

“Yeah. We stopped and got a bite and then met some of PJ’s friends at the border. Got here about half an hour ago.”

“Where are you?”

“Some huge ranch owned by a banker friend of Vic’s. Guy is out of town and we have the place to ourselves except for the help. Vic says we should be fine here.” It amazed him how easy it was becoming to rely on Victor. To trust him. It’s not like we have a choice at this point…

“You sound so tired, honey.” She could sense his mental exhaustion as well.

“Nah, I’m fine. This just sucks, ya know… I feel so helpless here. She could lose everything and I just wish I could do one damn thing right!” Bo hated the situation he’d put Marlena in. Bringing her to Mexico had been a huge mistake.

“Bo stop. You found John. You took her down there when she asked.”

“For all the good that did. That’s what started all this trouble. The minute she left Salem Roman… man… I just hate this. I knew this was a mistake. I should have told her ‘no’. I never should have let her talk me into it. He couldn’t wait, could he? He’s such an asshole sometimes…. “

“Oh Bo, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, honey.” Hope could hear the tired frustration in his voice. Bo was being pulled in so many directions.

She tried her best to keep her own needs in check, not wanting to cause him any more distress. If she told him of her fears or her desire for him to hurry home he’d feel even more pressure. That’s the last thing you need now, Brady.

“He’s my brother, Hope. No matter what he’s done … he’s still my brother. I feel like I’m stabbing him in the back here… but she doesn’t have anyone else. Not really. I mean, I don’t know what the deal with her and John is exactly but I can’t just turn my back on her. I can’t do that… ” Bo knew that no matter what happened when they returned to Salem he was going to stick by Marlena, even if it meant going against the family. The last thing Bo wanted was to hurt his family. I’m sorry, Ma… He’d taken her to John. Put her in a position where she could lose her children. He had to do everything he could to fix that. I can’t let him take her kids away. She can’t lose them…

“I know, Bo. I know how torn you are about this. It’s OK. We’ll work it out … somehow.” Bo heard the slight hesitation in her voice. Barely noticeable, yet it told him everything. Great… put you in one hell of a spot, too… huh, Fancyface? What the hell was I thinking, man?

“I love you, Fancyface. More then anything, I wish I was there with you and Shawn-D right now. I wish you didn’t have to cover for us. I know how hard this is for you, too. Is everyone asking questions?”

“Some. They know how you feel, though. Kim and Kayla are just as confused about this as you, Bo.”

“But they’re not siding against him, Hope! Shit! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do this to you. I’m just blowing off steam. Really. I know it’ll be OK.” He hoped his words sounded convincing to her because he knew they were lies. Nothing would be OK.

“Come on, Brady. Don’t do this. You and Marlena will be home tomorrow and we can sit down and sort this out. Maybe you should take a step back and let the lawyers handle this. I mean, what else can you do now? You found John. Now it’s up to them to figure what they want to do. Marlena is strong enough to make her own decisions.” Hope sensed that Bo was feeling responsible for everything that Marlena was going through. She made the decision to go to Mexico, Bo. She’d have gone alone if you didn’t take her. This is not your fault. You’ve been there for her all this time. Please stop feeling so guilty.

“I don’t know, Hope. She seemed pretty lost this morning. When she heard what Roman was doing…. I don’t know. I just want her and the baby to be OK.”

“Is she eating? Has she been sick?” Hope remembered how tiring the first trimester was and Marlena hadn’t really been taking great care of herself.

“She got sick this morning. I kinda got the feeling she didn’t tell John about the baby right away. Listen, I’ll fill you in tomorrow. I want to see what’s going on in there.” Bo had a bad feeling about the conversation taking place in the living room and figured he’d better see how Marlena was doing.

“OK. I love you, Bo. I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me, too. Love ya….”

***

“Dr. Evans, I can only tell you what the law states. Eric and Samantha are your biological children but Carrie is not. Roman has a legitimate claim to custody and an excellent lawyer. He appears willing to take this case to court if necessary.”

“Exactly what does that mean, Mr. Wright?”

“It means that Roman Brady has a very solid case. Carrie is still a minor and he is her biological parent. He is a decorated police officer and government agent. He did not abandon his family. He has a good job and strong ties to Salem. And, most importantly, he wants his children.” Derek Wright hadn’t handled a divorce case in a while, but this one had the potential to quite nasty. He had read all of Victor Kiriakis’ information on the Roman Brady – Marlena Evans – John Black situation on the plane but still had a hard time grasping the facts. He thought he’d seen it all and was quickly reminded why he turned to corporate law. Still, Victor paid him a small fortune to handle anything and everything. This case would be no different.

“So I am going to lose my daughter… ” Marlena good feel the room begin to spin and steadied herself against a table. Please help me, God…

“Doc?” John had been leaning quietly against the wall, listening. He was across the room a moment later and had his arm around her, leading her to the couch. “Come on, sweetheart. You gotta sit down.”

“No, John… no… I’m fine. I don’t want to sit down!” Marlena pulled away from him and turned to Derek. “Mr. Wright, you believe I will lose custody of Carrie, don’t you?” Marlena shook her head in frustration. It had been a long drive across the border and the meeting with Victor’s lawyer was not going well. If what he was saying was true, she would most likely lose custody of her oldest child. After everything that’s happened… ughh… no…

“There’s a strong possibility that a judge would name Roman custodial parent. That’s not to say that you would not get liberal visitation-“

“Visitation? Are you kidding me! Carrie will be devastated if she has to live with Roman now! She’s fifteen years old! She’s lived with me for almost ten years, for God’s sake! How can that not matter? How can someone who doesn’t even know us say she is not my daughter?” Marlena felt the blood pounding through her and again her vision blurred. They will not take my kids from me!

“Marlena, please calm down… ” John again reached to put his arms around her and felt her shaking as she tried to push him away. He would not allow it. He pulled her close to him and rubbed her back, her hair. Whispered words to soothe her. “We won’t let that happen, baby. I promise…”

“Oh, John… I can’t lose Carrie. I can’t lose my twins. This has been so awful for them. First you left and … then he came back … and he… she’ll be so upset…” She couldn’t get the words out and John held her tighter, trying to think of something he could say to end this nightmare for her. He could only imagine what this would do to Carrie. Shit… I’m so sorry Punkin… I’m so sorry about this..

“No one is saying that, Dr. Evans. Your role in Carrie’s life and the relationship she has with you and your other children matters a great deal. That’s our biggest advantage. Carrie is a bright, outgoing young woman. An excellent student. Despite the disruptions that have occurred in your family life over the past ten years, Carrie seems like a terrific girl. All those things are a reflection of the home and the security she has with you. She does not have a relationship with Roman Brady at this point. As for Samantha and Eric, I’m sure that his custody petition will be denied. You are their mother and courts rarely remove children from their mothers. But with Carrie, we will have the burden of proof in claiming parental rights.” Derek was not as certain about the twins as he let on, especially if John Black remained a part of Marlena’s life. From what he could see of their relationship in the past hour, John wasn’t going anywhere. We’ll deal with that one later.

John had been listening very carefully to Derek’s advice and watching his manner, keenly aware that no mention was made of his role in Carrie’s life. Marlena had yet to pick up on that as she turned in John’s arms. He wrapped his hands around her waist, unwilling to let her go. “Parental rights? You mean Roman’s biological claim to Carrie is stronger in the eyes of the court then his claim on Sami and Eric because I’m not her biological mother? Biology doesn’t make a family, Mr. Wright.”

“But that’s how the law is written. The biological parent is the legal parent in the eyes of the court. That isn’t to say you don’t have options as well. You have been her custodial parent for ten years. She has siblings and, until two months ago, a strong family environment.” Derek watched them both as he continued, trying to gage their response. “What you plan to do about that family in the future could affect the outcome of this case.”

Marlena could feel John’s grip around her tighten as her own pulse quickened. She had been trying to ignore the dull throb behind her eyes and turned toward the windows to stare into the evening skies. The darkness an ironic reflection of her current situation. No clear skies tonight… nothing but gray…. John tried to turn her towards him but she resisted, shook her head.

“What do you recommend we do now?” she asked.

“I can file a counter claim for you in the morning blocking Roman’s petition and requesting a delay. If you plan to seek other council then I suggest you do so quickly. Either way, as long as you’re in Salem, in your house, in the next 48 hours then Roman’s claim that you abandon the children will be thrown out.”

Marlena tried to speak but the words were lost in the sparking haze before her. She tried to steady herself in John’s arms and answer whoever was calling to her before the darkness came.