A Second Chance – By Ms. Goldie

It had been awhile since Marlena had looked at her and John’s wedding photo. She kept it hidden away in a drawer downstairs, safely tucked inside a hideous, flower covered hatbox that  Roman would never think to look inside of. She knew she was hiding it and somewhere deep inside her, she knew why. It was so she could return to it, when she was feeling most lost, or missing John so much that the ache inside her could not be distracted by menial tasks or the day to day requirements of life. She ran her finger over John’s face lovingly, while trying to remember what the feel of his skin felt like under her fingertips. The day they married had been one of the happiest of her life. It still was. A smile came to her face, as she remembered his kiss when she reached him at the end of the aisle, and the priests admonishment for his impulsivity. It was his pure, honest, open expression of love that made her fall even deeper in love with him in an instant. And while everyone laughed and he looked sheepish, Marlena had felt that there would never be a moment so perfect again. 

It was a snapshot in time, that sometimes felt as if it never happened. Like a whisper of a story that was, but never will be again. She sometimes felt as if she’d dreamt it, because she’d certainly not been that content since. Her brief time with John, when they had believed him to be Roman, felt so long ago…so long, that maybe it wasn’t what she remembered it to be. Maybe she had built it up in her mind to be something larger than life, because surely it couldn’t have been that perfect? But she knew it was. It was that perfect, and all she had left of it were memories that were fading with time and photos hidden in an ugly hatbox. 

She hadn’t been able to get much sleep in the two weeks since she was discharged from the hospital. Almost as soon as she closed her eyes she was bombarded with images from her time alone in the pit, but she also dreamed about her whispered conversations with John. She dreamt about the conversations they had when they were thinking they might die together. After a month of being alone, dehydrated and malnourished…he was there. His humor, his warmth, and his promise that they would survive. It’s what got her through, when she knew she would have otherwise died. She’d given up by the time he found her, they both knew that. She had been barely breathing when John brought her back, and when she woke later, lying on his body with his whispered words encouraging her to come out of it…she thought she was hallucinating again. 

Thinking that death could take you at any moment makes you much more honest than you might otherwise be, and while they didn’t say they loved each other… the implication was there. They still loved each other, and that love was much more than a platonic, caring, friendship type of love. Marlena remembered their conversation about their separation in Mexico.

“I wouldn’t change my past for anything, Doc,” John said staring at her intently. His back leaned against the wall, and, although they weren’t touching, their eyes and their tone spoke volumes. They could hear the machinery overhead and there was a haze of dust in the air. 

“Neither would I,” Marlena said honestly. She knew her eyes were shining with tears, and she had so much more to say, but she wouldn’t allow herself to say it. She couldn’t say it.

“You remember our trip to Mexico last year?” John asked her quietly.

She wiped tears from her cheek and replied, “I do.”

“That’s when I went down there to tell the whole world that I was really Roman Brady…and we know how that turned out don’t we? He was right. I was wrong. I lost. My name, my job…and you. I lost everything that day,” he said looking away from her, because looking at her made the ache of losing her come back.

Marlena scrambled for a response and said,“No. You had Isabella…you had Isabella…”

“That’s right. I did, and I loved her…and I will always love Izzy B, but you don’t know how hard it was to watch you walk away with him. As much as I loved Isabella, there’s a part of me that always loved you too, Doc,” John spoke honestly, and from his heart. His love for Marlena would always exist in a part of his soul, and John knew that it would always ache for her as well.

“I know,” was all she could say, because there was a large part of her that loved him too. A part of her that would always love him. They stared at each other for a long while, each not saying what was in their heart, while their eyes said all that was needed. John reached for her hand and just held it, slowly rubbing his thumb over her palm.

Marlena gently placed the photo back into the box, and put the lid on top, smoothing her hand over it lovingly. After tucking it away in the bottom drawer of the buffet cabinet, she wandered over to the fireplace, and stared at a photo of the twins. She wanted them home. They had been gone too long, and when she spoke to Roman about it, he seemed to put her off. He had never bonded with them. Marlena had tried to help Roman forge a relationship with Eric and Sami, but that was difficult when Roman was so stubborn, and set in his ways, and the twins were missing John. They wanted their Daddy back, and in their minds, that wasn’t Roman. Roman, on the other hand, wanted children who instantly adored him, and when they didn’t, he got frustrated, and without much attempt, simply gave up. When Sami and Eric asked to stay in Colorado, Roman agreed to it before he and Marlena even discussed it. She had missed five years with her children and now she was missing even more time, because the twins were trying to escape a father with expectations they couldn’t live up to, and Roman was trying to pretend that his family was perfect…by removing the parts that weren’t. 

After making herself a cup of tea she came back to the living room, and stood there silently at a loss as to what to do with herself. She was scared to go back to sleep because of nightmares, and she was sad because she missed Sami and Eric. Roman was asleep upstairs, blissfully unaware of his wife’s emotional strife. Without much thought, she took the phone and dialed John’s number. He’d likely be asleep, and she knew that calling him at this time of the night could wake him, or Brady, but she felt so lost inside, and needed a connection with someone who could understand. This constant loneliness was slowly destroying her.

~ ~ ~ ~

John was awake, standing in his kitchen and staring at his coffee maker. He glanced at the clock and realized it was 3:42 in the morning. He probably should not be making coffee this early, if he ever had intentions of falling back asleep. Although sleep seemed to evade him so much these days. His time with Marlena in the pit had knocked cracks into the emotional wall he had built to protect his heart from her. Watching her with Roman after their return from Mexico had hurt him so much that he’d had no choice but to distance himself from her, and place his focus elsewhere. His focus became Isabella, the pregnancy, and finding out who he was, by using a wrecked satchel full of trinkets he’d pulled out of a flaming fire pit. Now Isabella was gone, he knew who he was, although he still couldn’t remember any of it, and it was just him, with Brady, trying to navigate a lonely existence. Loneliness was a feeling that was slowly destroying him. 

More often than not, Marlena had been on his mind since they were rescued. The memory  of holding her body close to him, for the three days they were down there, brings that ache back. That ache he’d pushed away by forcing himself to move on with Isabella, when what he’d really wanted wasn’t his anymore. That ache was back, and for some reason, John felt that the pain was worse this time. As if it had built up, and now that he’d allowed her in again, it was a flood of emotion. His dreams were of her…their time in the pit, times when they were married, and some of his dreams were darkly, sensual, dreams where he woke up panting and his c*ck was so hard he had to fist himself to completion to end the agony.

He was still semi-hard as a result of the dream that had woken him twenty minutes ago. Just thinking about it forced him to take the palm of his hand and push it down onto his c*ck, making him groan out loud. His mind flashed to the dream…

John walked into Marlena’s bedroom. The bedroom she shared with Roman, but she used to share with him. He stood over her, beside her bed, and slid the blanket slowly off of her body. The morning light gave a pink sheen to the fabric of the nightgown covering her and John reached out to trace his fingers over her leg and the swell of her hip. He could feel his body reacting to the feel of her under his fingers. She murmured in her sleep, rolling onto her back, causing her breasts to push against the fabric. He wanted her, he ached for her so badly that he had to hold himself back from grabbing her roughly, impulsively, the way his body screamed for him to do. Touching her cheek lightly, John whispered her name, before leaning in to kiss her softly on her lips. His mouth nibbled at hers, licking over her bottom lip and biting at it briefly. He swept his tongue along the crease of her mouth pushing in slightly, and moaning at the taste of her. Watching her nipples pebble under the fabric, reacting to him even in her sleep, he reached out and rubbed over one, with the pad of his thumb, roughly.

“John…” she whispered softly in her sleep, while he pulled at her nipple. “Oh, G-d, John…”

Crouching down beside the bed, he leaned towards her sleeping form and flicked his tongue over her nipple, leaving a wet stain on the satin fabric. He groaned at the feel of her taut breast on the tip of his tongue and did it again, blowing over it and causing it to tighten further. 

Marlena’s eyes fluttered open in a haze of desire and lust, looking at him and slowly realizing that she wasn’t dreaming. Becoming alarmed, she started to push herself up, saying, “You can’t be here—”

John stands up, slowly pushing her shoulder back down to the bed with his palm, and says, “I watched him leave. I waited for him to go…”

“We can’t do this…” she said staring at him with very little conviction, even as her heart raced, and she felt liquid pooling between her thighs.

“Oh, Doc…we’re gonna do this,” John said roughly as he pulled his shirt over his head and began unbuttoning his pants. Pushing them to the floor and stepping out of them, John stood naked and stared at her a moment longer before crouching down and tugging her nightgown up over her hips. As her p*ssy was revealed to him, and he saw that she wasn’t wearing any panties, he groaned out loud, and his c*ck bounced in anticipation. Unable to wait any longer, John wrapped his hands under her hips and pulled her body to the edge of the bed, telling her, “Open your legs for me, Doc. I want to see how wet you are.”

Marlena felt her face heat, but she couldn’t refuse anything he asked of her. She wanted him to see what he did to her, so she pulled her legs open baring herself to him, and felt the cool air of the room on her hot, moist, center. “That’s right, baby, hold them open…” he said, taking the tip of one finger, and running it up and down her slit, flicking her clit softly and circling it before pulling his hand back. She was swollen and wet in anticipation of what they were about to do. He dipped his finger into her and pulled it out, his finger glistening. While John stared at her, he slowly lifted his hand and placed his finger in his mouth, to suck her juices off of it. Her p*ssy clenched and rolled uncontrollably while she watched him. 

“Please,” she begged him. The throbbing in her p*ssy was almost too much to bear. She needed release.

“Please?” John asked her. “Please, what, Doc?”

“I want you…please,” she almost whined. “Oh, G-d! It aches so much…”

John stands abruptly, gripping her body under her hips and lifting her body up to him. He slid his c*ck into her wet heat, throwing his head back and shouting, “F*ck, Doc…f*ck, you feel so good!”

He had woken from that dream with a layer of sweat on his body and his d*ck so hard he was in physical pain as a result. Sleep was not going to return after that, which is how he found himself downstairs having a mental debate over the importance of a cup of coffee at 3:42 am. Pushing his palm down on his c*ck again, he decided that sleep was not on the agenda, and went to make some coffee. Once the pot was started, and he was waiting for it to brew, the phone rang. Glancing at the clock, John noted that it was barely four o’clock. 

“Hello?” John said into the phone.

“John? Did I wake you?” Marlena asked softly.

John’s heart jumped in his chest, and he responded, “Doc? Is everything okay?”

“Yes…I just…I couldn’t sleep,” she replied. “I didn’t want to wake you up, but I…G-d, John, I don’t know why I called you.” But she did know why she called. She called to hear his voice, to know that he cared about her, because lately she felt like no one cared…but everyone certainly depended on her. After her rescue from the warehouse, Roman went on as if she was fine now…nothing to concern himself with now that she was home. Kim needed her help in her murder trial and Carrie needed her help navigating her relationship with Roman. And while Marlena was certainly not one to wallow in self pity, she certainly couldn’t continue with her life as if none of it had happened. The nightmares were exhausting, and emotionally traumatic. She felt as if she was surrounded by people, but had no support system at all.

“You don’t ever need reason to call me, Doc,” John said. “I haven’t been sleeping well anyway.”

“Me either…I’m… having nightmares about…the warehouse…and, and I miss the children,” she said settling into the couch.

“I’m having dreams too.”

“About the pit?”

“Yes,” he responds slowly. He was dreaming about the pit, but his dreams were also about so much more. “Have you talked to Roman about your dreams? Are they nightmares?”

“I tried, but Roman, he…well…he thinks that with time it will fade and focusing on it will just make it worse, I guess. He doesn’t understand…” she trailed off.

“And I guess, I do? Right?”

“Yeah…you do. I woke up from one tonight, and I was so thirsty. It was as if I hadn’t had a drink in days. I was dreaming about when you got water out of the pipe,” she whispered softly. “If you weren’t there I would have died. You saved my life, John, you know?”

Her whispered voice was doing strange things to his body again. Just her voice had him reacting, and he said, a bit more gruffly than he intended, “I would do it again, Doc…in a heartbeat.”

“You got me through that…and now I-I miss you again. I shouldn’t, but I do,” she muttered into the receiver. Marlena was momentarily shocked that she had said that out loud, because normally, she was able to maintain much better control over her actions and her emotions; however, lately, she had felt like everything was out of her control – losing John, the twins staying in Colorado, Roman’s anger, and jealousy over her friendship with John, Stella kidnapping her, and throwing her in hole in that warehouse…she wasn’t able to hold onto anything, and it was breaking her. “After Mexico…I missed you…and now I miss you again,” she said. John heard what she said, but he also heard what she didn’t say, because he’d missed her too, after Mexico, and now he missed her again. Marlena continued, “I’m so lonely. I’m surrounded by people at work, by my family, but John, really, I’m alone…”

“Doc, baby, you’re not. It might feel that way, and I’m sorry for that, I am,” John told her vehemently. “But, I will always be here for you.”

Marlena was silent for a long moment before she finally said, “I wish I could sleep.I’m so tired…but when I sleep…I’m scared.”

John felt that there was an intimacy to the conversation that shouldn’t be there, but neither one of them had said anything particularly intimate…he just felt it. “Where are you?” he asked her.

“I’m on the couch,” she whispered, cradling the receiver into her ear gently.

“Lay down and I’ll tell you a story,” John told her softly.

Marlena snuggled into the pillow on the sofa and said, “What kind of story?”

~ ~ ~ ~

When Roman came down the stairs the following morning, ready to leave for work, he found Marlena curled up on the sofa, asleep, with the telephone receiver on the floor beside her. Deciding to let her sleep, he put the phone back in the cradle, and he went into the kitchen for some coffee. Their relationship had been strained for months and Roman had no idea how to fix it. He wanted everything to be the way it was before he “died”, but what he had returned to was children who thought another man was their father, and a wife who seemed distant, and sad all of the time. He had left behind a wife who had allowed him to take the lead on things, and returned to a wife who was independent, and argumentative. He had thought that letting the twins stay in Colorado, as they requested, would give him and Marlena time to reconnect; however, she seemed even more distant now. Roman wasn’t sure how to reach her…or if he even could reach her. 

Sure she smiled when he told a joke, she kissed him at all the right moments, they had made love at least once per week…until their argument before she disappeared, when Stella had imprisoned her at the warehouse…but it wasn’t the same. Roman knew the distance was growing, especially since they hadn’t spoken about their massive argument the night she went missing. He had said a lot of things in anger, and those things were still hanging between them. It was almost Christmas and he had not made love to his wife since the beginning of October. He had no idea how to try, and heal this rift between them. He knew the argument was bad, but he had been hoping they could just avoid mentioning it, and move on, but as he remembered it, Roman knew…that was an argument that couldn’t be ignored.

“That’s your answer? That’s your solution to all this, Doc? You’re just going to turn your back on it like that? That’s how you solve our problems? Doc! Doc! We are like two ships passing in the night, here!” Roman screamed at her, his frustration rising at what he considered to be her lack of a response. She just wanted to leave, go to her conference, and ‘think things over’. “I can’t believe that we thought that we actually had it all back! You listen to me…we are losing each other. I’ve been fighting it, but I just can’t…the closest we have come to really connecting, was when you got drunk at Wings. I mean it’s really sad to think, that you have to be under the influence for the two of us to even enjoy each others company!”

“You know, I don’t remember hearing any complaints about the time we spend in bed together,” Marlena said to him.

“I’m not complaining about that. I just want more of it!” he continued yelling. She was angry, he could tell, but she refused to be baited, and yell back at him. Roman wanted a response from her. He needed something. 

“Well, I’m a working mother with responsibilities. Do you mind? I have a lot going on. What should I do, do you think?” she asked him sarcastically.  “Maybe I should just come home on lunch, would that work for you? Or weekends? We could turn up the television set—!”

“—I’m not talking about the sex thing! I’m not talking about just your body! I want the whole package! I want you, I want your brain, I want your soul, I want your heart! I want all of it here, but you’re not giving it to me! So what the hell are you saving it for? Or maybe I should be asking, who are you saving it for?” Roman screamed, and with that harsh, angry, final comment, Marlena walked out. 

Roman knew he went too far, and now the problem was…how to come back from that. What they had when he was taken by Stefano in 1984, was not what he returned to in 1991. He found himself more than a year later trying to figure out how to salvage his marriage. Sometimes he found himself questioning whether he even wanted to try and salvage it. He knew that Marlena wanted the twins back home, yet he found himself putting her off. Bringing Sami and Eric home would make Marlena happy, he knew that, and yet every time she brought up the idea he changed the subject, or found an excuse for them to stay a while longer. He sometimes wondered if he was doing it out of spite…to keep them away from John. 

When everyone had returned from Mexico, Roman had allowed John to tell the twins that he wasn’t their father, because Marlena had asked him too. John explained to them that the man they knew as Mr. Patrick was their real father, Roman. Roman had even allowed John to put the twins to bed one last time, but after that Roman wanted him out of their lives. The problem was that the twins had known John as their only parent for five years, and he’d been in their lives since they were babies. The twins were eight years old now and when they were born, Roman had been with them for barely a month before his untimely, forced, departure. Eric and Sami lost John when Roman returned, in reality, they mourned him and refused to try and bond with Roman at all. Marlena told Roman to try and reach them, instead he’d given up on them. He knew he had. At least they trusted Marlena, but they barely acknowledged him. He’d let his pride get in the way. It was his pride that allowed him to be angry with eight year old children for loving John more than they loved him, and, while he knew it was irrational, he couldn’t figure out how to get over it. Why should he have to find ways to get his own children to love him? He was their father, but that bond wasn’t there.

It wasn’t as if Roman didn’t want his own children around. It was that having them around caused Marlena to advocate for John seeing them, and Roman wanted John firmly gone. Having the twins in Colorado kept John out of the conversation…until he’d saved Marlena’s life. Roman didn’t know how to continue pushing John out, when the man had saved his wife’s life.

Roman walked out of the kitchen, and stood for a moment, watching Marlena sleep on the couch. In her sleep, her hand twitched towards something, and she mumbled, “Are you real?” Roman had no idea what she was dreaming about, but he needed to let her know that he was leaving for work. Reaching for her shoulder to wake her, he stopped abruptly when Marlena said, “John…oh G-d! I knew you’d find me…” His jealousy flared hot and fast. His wife was dreaming about John, probably about John finding her in the pit at the warehouse. F*cking John Black, again! Deciding to leave her asleep, Roman walked out of the house.

~ ~ ~ ~

Marlena walked into John’s loft, breathing deeply of his scent and looking around for Brady. She wasn’t back to work yet, and she found herself spending long days alone while Roman worked. With the near constant solitude, Brady’s nanny was used to Marlena dropping in over the last week or so. Today, she seemed almost relieved to see her. “Hi, Patsy. I came to see Brady for a little bit,” Marlena said laying her coat on the back of the couch, and placing her purse next to it.

“Oh, Dr. Evans! Do you happen to know how I might reach John?” she asked. Marlena noticed that she seemed frazzled and distracted. “The number he gave me said he’d just left there, and I just received word that my sister was in an accident. I really need to go.”

“I have a whole day free, with no plans. Go. I’ll stay with Brady,” Marlena said walking over to his playpen and picking him up. “Has he napped yet?”

“No, I was going to feed him, and then get him settled for a nap, before I got the phone call.”

“Patsy, it’s okay. I’ll stay with him,” Marlena said nuzzling his face, and breathing in that soft baby scent. “I don’t mind.” 

“Oh, thank you so much! Can you tell John how sorry I am?” Patsy said, as she gathered her thing things to go.

Marlena held Brady up, and looked at his grinning face, “So, it’s just you, and me for a little while, huh, Brady? Let’s go see what was for lunch…hmm, strained peas. I can’t say that it would be my first choice. I’ve never liked peas, myself, you know.” She settled him into his seat, and sat in front of him.

Twenty minutes later, half of the peas were on her, and she had a very messy Brady to clean up before his nap. Marlena couldn’t stop laughing, while she walked up the stairs with Brady jabbering at her, and waving his hands around expressively. “You don’t say?” she asked him, as if he was having a whole conversation with her. “Come on, let’s get ourselves cleaned up,” Marlena said, walking into John’s bedroom. Covering John’s bed with a towel, she laid down Brady, and realized, she couldn’t even begin to clean him up, until she put something else on. John was so predictable, she found a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from the bottom, left hand drawer of his dresser…exactly where he kept them when they were married. After slipping them on quickly, she took Brady into the bathroom to clean him up.

Brady’s bath made her miss the twins even more. She loved being a mother, and mothering Brady was so easy. He was easy to love. He babbled, and cooed, splashing water and laughing at all of her dramatic and over the top reactions to his antics. His trust in her soothed her soul. 

By the time she had him dried, diapered, and dressed in soft pajamas, Marlena was yawning. It had been another difficult night of sleep, and Marlena hadn’t allowed herself to call John last night. As much as she had wanted to, she’d held back from calling him, because she knew that when she called him…she was likely waking him up. He would never tell her not to call, and she didn’t want to take advantage. Instead, she had become very familiar with the television, and the couch in the living room. 

She could have taken Brady to his crib, and taken her own nap on the couch. She could have taken Brady with her to nap in the guest room. She didn’t. She took Brady back into John’s room to nap. Thinking on why she made that choice wasn’t something she allowed herself to do in the moment, but as she and Brady settled into John’s bed, under the warm blankets and snuggled into his pillows, they were both content and happy to be surrounded by his scent.

The loft was unnaturally quiet when John returned home an hour later. When he didn’t find Brady, or the nanny, in Brady’s room, he went to his to shower, assuming they were out at the park or on a walk. What he found in his room, in his bed, caused his heart to stutter and skip a beat. Marlena, clad in his t-shirt, was curled into his bed, and wrapped around his son, both of them asleep. John noticed her clothes on the floor, with what looked like strained peas all over them. Marlena in his bed, with his son in her arms, was one of the most beautiful, and precious things he had ever seen. John approached the bed slowly, softly brushing Marlena’s hair back off her cheek. Every time he saw her, he was struck again by her beauty.

In sleep, Marlena’s mind was in another place, a place where she freely loved John, and she had the twins with her…and Brady. Her head rolled towards John, and while her eyes stayed closed and she remained asleep. She reached for his hand, and said to him, “I love you…don’t leave me.”

John briefly ran his thumb over her palm, staring at her, and decided to allow himself to have what he and Marlena had wanting for weeks…a moment together without the constraints of their lives. A moment together, that no one else would ever need to know about. After scooping up his son and placing him in his crib, John returned to Marlena. She wasn’t his to hold, or touch…or kiss. Not anymore, but he did it anyway. He slid in beside her on the bed and pulled her body close to his, cradling her and running his hands over her hair and her cheeks. When he slid his palm along her back, under her t-shirt, she moaned softly, rolling into him, wrapping her arm around his waist, and curling her leg over his, “John…” He just held her as she slept, because he couldn’t bring himself to let her go.

Later, when she woke, she was surrounded by him. His soft breaths were wafting across her cheek and she reached out, touching his face softly just to make sure he was real. In that second, the stillness of the moment, while wrapped in his arms, she finally admitted that her love for him was much more than platonic. She wanted him. She wanted him so much, that her core clenched, and she moaned low in her throat. The thumb of her hand rubbed over John’s mouth softly. She wanted to kiss him, just once, but she feared that once she did that she wouldn’t be able to stop. Leaning up she placed a kiss on his lips so soft, she barely felt it. Her heart skipped a beat, and she felt a swoop in her belly, and she kissed him again…harder, sliding her tongue along the seam of his lips.

When John awoke, he was already aroused. His hand, already under her shirt, spread out over her ribs and pulled her closer, so her center rode up high on his thigh. Marlena sighed into his mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck when he took control of their kiss. “F*ck, Doc,” he said roughly into her mouth. 

After months of being lonely, anxious, and frightened, Marlena sank into this moment without a thought, or care to the potential outcome. All she wanted was to fall into John, and while John knew this had been building for weeks, he feared where it would leave them tomorrow. “Wait, Doc…wait,” he breathed roughly, pulling back. “We need to talk…I can’t, although G-d, I want to…we need to talk…”

Marlena’s aroused eyes stared into his own. They both wanted it, and they knew it. She buries her face in his neck, breathing heavily. “I know, I know, I know,” she whispered into him, even as her own hand found the skin at his waist under his shirt. She felt her pussy leaking into her panties, and before she could stop herself, her hips jerked against him.

“Doc…” John moaned, grabbing her hips and pulling her closer. His c*ck pushed into her hip and her p*ssy ground onto his thigh again. As much as he wanted her, he knew she would hate herself if she cheated on Roman, and if he pushed it right now…she would. John could never do that to her, but he could help her. He rolled Marlena onto her back, telling her, “Come here, baby.”

John buried his face in her neck, while sliding his hand into the front of her sweatpants. Her panties were soaked when he laid his palm over her, and pushed into her cl*t. Her gasps and pants in his ear were making his d*ck even harder, and he pushed it into her hip again, trying to find some relief. “Spread your legs for me,” John told her. “That’s it…” he said, sliding his hand into her panties, and finding her swollen and wet. “G-d, Doc, you’re so f*cking wet. I just want to slide into you…” he said.

“Do it. Do it,” she panted into his ear.

“I can’t…you know I can’t, but for now, baby, let me give you this,” he said kissing her neck softly, as his fingers began to rub over her slowly. “Let me give you this.”

John slid two fingers into her, and hooked them forward rubbing over her g-spot while his thumb swept over her cl*t. He knew her body, and had her ready to come within a few minutes. “Oh, G-d! John, I’m so close!” 

“Come for me, Doc,” John said to her. “I love to hear you when you come.” He rubbed over her faster, and with more force, because he knew she was close. His own body was rubbing against her desperately wanting to bury itself in her welcoming heat, but John refused. They were going to have to talk about this first.

When Marlena’s orgasm hit her and rolled though her, she gasped out, “Oh, f*ck, John!” She continued to say his name on shallow pants, and the sounds she made pushed him over the edge, too.

Laying there together, breathing heavy, and coming back to their more rational selves, John says, “You know, Doc, we’re going to have to talk about what’s going on between us—”

“I know. I know we do, but not right now…please?” She says kissing his neck. “Not today.” This was the first time in months that she felt loved, and not like she was a possession, she couldn’t have this conversation today.

~ ~ ~ ~

Marlena arrived at John’s loft a few days later at his request. She thought it might be to discuss what happened between them three days earlier. She knew the conversation was inevitable. As it turns out, it was an entirely different matter. A stolen and forged check, with Carrie as the main suspect, and as much as Marlena and John wanted to deny it…they still had to speak with her about it. There was no other way to get to the bottom of it. John had called Carrie, and she was on the way over, in the meantime they waited. 

Marlena, deciding that Roman needed to know what was going on, went to call him, and was immediately stopped by John’s hand on hers, holding down the telephone receiver, “Who are you calling?” John asked her. He knew, but he wanted her to say it.

“I’m calling Roman,” she said looking at him. His hand on hers was causing her to shiver, and her first impulse was to immediately pull away, but she doesn’t.

“Oh, no. No, no…Roman stays out of this,” John says, still holding onto her hand, resisting the impulse to rub his thumb over her skin.

“Roman is Carrie’s father,” Marlena tells him, and John feels a sharp brief pain lance his soul. He knows who Carrie’s father is…and it’s not him.

The only response he can give her is, “This is between Carrie and me. She’s an adult now.”

“I know how old Carrie is.”

“But Roman doesn’t. He treats her like a child. I swore to Carrie that when she was eighteen I would treat her like an adult.”

“That was before you knew you were not her father—” Marlena argued.

John’s anger and frustration had been building in him over the last year, and came forward in a verbal explosion, “Damn it, Doc! I raised them for more years than he did! Now, the fact really hit home when he accused me of horning in. As far as I’m concerned, he’s the one who took back my daughter, as well as my house, my job, even my—” 

He turned away from her, walking around the counter, and into the kitchen area, smacking his hand against the refrigerator in anger. Marlena slowly released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding, and walked towards John slowly. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry,” she said lightly touching along his jaw. 

Trying to pull himself together, John sighs and runs his hand through his hair again, “Okay, look, it was my money that was stolen, so I reserve the right to ask the questions here…Now, no Roman. Not until after we’ve talked to Carrie. Agreed?” Marlena pauses and stares up at John. He waits a beat and says, “If you don’t agree, Doc, I’m never going to come to you with another problem she has again.”

She’s hesitant to agree, to consciously cut Roman out of this, but she’s also aware of the dynamic between Roman and John right now, so she agrees. “Alright, okay…for right now. We’ll talk to Carrie, then we will decide.”

“Fair enough,” John says walking to the sink and getting himself a glass of water.

Marlena follows behind him, mumbling, “You know John, Roman’s not going to like this one bit.”

Spinning quickly, grabbing her arms and pushing her back against the refrigerator, John says to her, in low tones, “We had an agreement, Dr. Evans. No Roman.” John is instantly struck by the way she gasped, and she looks up at him with her lips slightly parted. He had not intended this to be sexual, but rather he just wanted to get her attention quickly; however as he felt himself pressed up against her, the heat of her body melting into him…it was very difficult not to read the situation as sexual. 

Both of them were breathing erratically. John leaned his head forward and rested his forehead on hers. He reached down, grabbed both of her hands and pressed them against the cold steel at her hips, holding them tightly in his own. Marlena stared up at him, breathing harsh, little panting breaths, but saying nothing. She just watched him, and waited. He inhaled the scent of her deeply, holding it in his lungs, and then she heard it, a faint moan, as he released his held breath, then he let her hands go, and stepped back quickly, saying, “I’m going to check on Brady.” Momentarily dazed, Marlena leaned against the refrigerator for a moment before moving to the couch to sit, and wait for Carrie .

~ ~ ~ ~

John was disappointed, and saddened by the outcome of their conversation with Carrie. She had lied to them again, and continued to lie…until John had threatened to turn the matter over to the police. At that point, Carrie claimed she had stolen, and forged the check, and while the idea still didn’t sit well with him, he had no other alternative theory. As he and Marlena sat on his couch with coffees in their hands, John said, “I’ll tell you, Doc, I’m-I’m just shocked. I just can’t believe Carrie would pull something like that.” 

Marlena leaned forward, grasping his hand, and said in a low voice, “I suspect that Billie has put her up to it.”

He hadn’t considered that angle, and then he remembered that Billie was with Carrie when she came to the loft that day. John looks down at Marlena’s hand still sitting on top of his and says,“Oh, yeah?”

Realizing she was still holding his hand, she removes hers, and says, “Yeah, yeah, sure.” “Ok, so, what do you want to do about Roman? Do you wanna tell him…or not?” John asks.

“Well, Roman adores Carrie. He’d be devastated by that,” Marlena says in low tones.“You know what? They’ve had so little time together, and the time they have had has been spent…readjusting. Carrie finally has Roman’s trust back and now she’s going to lose it again.”

“So what do you say, we just handle this ourselves? As I recall, we did a pretty fair job of it once upon a time.”

“Oh, yes, we did didn’t we?” Marlena says laughing. 

John watches the way her face lights up when she laughs. He feels like he doesn’t see her laugh much at all lately. When they were married, they laughed together all of the time. “Look, Doc, I know you don’t want to keep things from Roman, but I honestly feel this is the best way to go on this…especially for Carrie.”

Marlena agreed. She hated keeping things from Roman, but she also didn’t think she could handle any more of his angry, irrational, reactions to things outside of their control. Looking at John, she says quietly, “You know what’s really amazing to me? How differently she relates to both of you, how with you…there’s so little…”

“Explosions?”

“Uh huh.”

“Uh huh. The fact is, Doc, the last thing you need right now is to get into the middle of a feud between Roman and Carrie.”

He’s right. Carrie and Roman had only just recently stopped arguing. Marlena was relieved to be able to share this with John, and she sighed, saying, “So, you think we just shouldn’t…say anything for awhile, is that it?”

“I guess after all is said, and done, you and I still see eye to eye on a lot of things…don’t we?” he said with a wink.

“Well, we faced death together…so I guess we can solve any problem there is,” Marlena said with a smile. And it was true, facing death together, being stuck in the warehouse together with only each other…it reminded Marlena of who she could always depend on in her life, and she was a little worried that it wasn’t her husband.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, John decides to switch to a safer subject than their past together…Roman. “No sense ruining Roman’s Christmas. The man’s gone through quite a bit. He needs a break right about now…and you’ve got a date with him.”

Marlena wants to tell him, that he’s been through ‘quite a bit’ as well very recently, but she doesn’t. She knows that John is trying to lighten the conversation. “Well, I did. I did. Tom Horton arranged a special Christmas program at the church, and invited a lot of the staff from the hospital, and I called the house, to tell Roman that he should join me there, but it turns out that he’s got a lead on this case he’s working on, and he’s going to stay at the station tonight, and track it down. So, it’s going to be a bit of a lonely Christmas Eve for me.”

“You don’t have to be alone,” John says looking at her. “I’d like to go to that service.”

Marlena smiles at him, and says softly, “Fine. Let’s get Brady bundled up and go.” She’s glad that John suggested he come, since she knew he was very likely going to spend his Christmas Eve alone as well. Now they would have each other. 

~ ~ ~ ~

Carrie sat curled up and crying on her sofa, after her conversation with her dad and Marlena, she had gone home. She cried because, although he was John, in her heart he was also still dad, and while she didn’t say it out loud, Carrie knew that he would probably always be her dad. She was angry…angry at Billie, and angry at herself. She felt like she had let John and Marlena down in the worst way. She heard Billie’s footsteps approach, but she didn’t want to talk to her.

“Here’s some tea. It’ll make you feel better,” Billie said quietly. Carrie just shook her head, as it laid in her arms, indicating that she didn’t want the tea, but Billie continued, “There’s nothing in it…just tea.” Carrie still refused to speak to her, but Billie kept talking to fill the void of silence, “Look, if it freaked you out so much to lie for me, why’d you do it?”

Carrie lifted her head up, to finally look at Billie in anger, “I didn’t do it for you, Billie! I did it for Austin.”

“I should have guessed that,” she said looking down.

“I mean, what kind of holiday would that be for him…having you in jail? It was my Christmas present to him. They would have thrown the book at you.”

“Well, I mean they just gave you a little slap on the wrist. It was really no big deal,” Billie said with little remorse, not fully understanding the pain Carrie felt at letting her parents down in such a huge way.

“But it is a big deal! You didn’t see the hurt, and the disappointment in their eyes! They’ve always been so good to me…and I failed them,” Carrie started crying again.

“That’s really tough, huh?” Billie said, finally, maybe, starting to understand. She had never felt that kind of guilt about letting someone down, except maybe Austin when she relapsed. 

Carrie looked at Billie, her eyes swollen from crying, “More than tough, knowing they’ll never trust me again. My dad raised me all by himself for years! He worked hard to make sure I was safe, and taken care of…and now he thinks I stole from him? I can’t deal with this…just leave me alone for awhile, okay?”

~ ~ ~ ~

Carrie arrived at the Christmas Eve program late, hoping to avoid additional conversations with Marlena about the incident with the check earlier. She was also hoping to avoid conversations with her father, who always seemed ready with a passive aggressive critique on some new aspect of her life. What she found, made the little girl inside her weep for what was, and what had been. Her father wasn’t there, but her dad was. He was seated beside Marlena, holding her hand in his, with Brady asleep in his lap, watching a Christmas program. Carrie wanted her family back…the old one. The one full of laughter, jokes, hugs, and unconditional love. She knew that both John and Marlena were upset with her, but she never once doubted their love. With Roman, she always felt like his love was dependent on something, and she never seemed to meet the bar with him. With John, he always loved her, even when she screwed up royally. She stood at the end of the row, with tears streaming down her cheeks, when John looked up and saw her. With his amazing capacity for love, he gave her one of his odd smirks with the eyebrow lift, and held his arm out to her. Carrie slid in beside him, under his arm, and laid her head on his shoulder. John wrapped his arm around her, giving her a quick squeeze, and they sat there, Carrie wrapped up in John’s arm, while his other hand held onto Marlena.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

John was surprised to see Marlena at his door on Christmas morning. Spending time with her and Carrie the night before had felt good, and familiar. Seeing her now put a smile on his face. Ushering her in John said, “I certainly did not expect to see you today, but I’m glad you’re here. Can I get you some egg nog, some coffee? You name it, I can make it.” He was trying to keep it light, even though being alone with her felt anything but light. They still hadn’t talked about what had happened between them the other day, and even though they hadn’t had sex, John knew that giving another man’s wife an orgasm was still cheating.

Marlena smiled brightly at him. “No, no, no, no, no, I’m a little short on time, but I came by to bring presents, for you…and for Brady, and that’s yours,” she said handing him a small box with an excited smile.

John was honestly humbled in that moment and smiled at her almost shyly. “Thank you,” he said. “May I?”

“Please,” she replied. Marlena loved presents, giving and receiving. Presents were how you showed someone you cared, and she put a lot of thought into the gifts that she gave. This one was no different. The idea for John’s gift came to her after her last late night phone call with him. 

“Wow. Wow,” John said softly as he ran the gold link of the watch over his fingers. It was a beautiful watch, well made, and in a style Marlena knew he would love.

Marlena stepped close to him, so close that her perfume wafted over him. So many memories hinged on that scent, and today was no different. She gazed up at him, and said, “That was my way of saying thank you…for giving me back my life. I’ll never forget what you did. Merry Christmas, John.”

“This is really fine,” John replied, his voice choked up with emotion.

“Oh wait, wait, wait…wait, there’s an inscription on the back,” she said coming even closer to him, and leaning in near his shoulder. She wanted to be closer, so she rested her chin on his arm affectionately. It felt like years in the past, and she wanted to bottle that feeling, so she could take it out when she felt lonely or isolated.

Looking down at her quickly, John flipped the watch over, and read aloud,“To JB, for giving me time, M.”

“You gave me time, with my children…” she told him, adding a few seconds later, “…and Roman…” She mentioned Roman almost a second thought, a requirement almost.

John felt his heart tear a little. Honestly, it always did when she mentioned Roman. He was caught off guard for a moment, and had to force himself to stay in the friend zone, even if whatever they were to each other, was much more than friends. He knew he couldn’t have her, but he wanted her. If this was all he was allowed, brief moments alone together, then he would take it.  He looked at her with a smile that didn’t fully reach his eyes, grabbed a small box he had stashed to the side, and said, “Sensational. Ho ho ho, Santa did not forget you either, little girl…Merry Christmas…from Brady and me.”

“Thank you. May I?” Marlena was nearly giddy with excitement.

“Oh, you bet. That’s it, rip into it,” he said laughing because he had always enjoyed her enthusiasm for gifts. 

“Go, go, go, go…” she laughed. Once she opened the gift, Marlena went from giddiness to awe. It was beautiful. It was thoughtful. It was the type of gift she would only ever get from John. She touched it gingerly, and said softly, “Oh, John, what beautiful, beautiful charms.”

“Ah, not just charms, those are good luck charms for your second chance at life,” he said softly, stepping closer to her.

“Yeah?” she said smiling up at him, noticing then how close he was to her.

He leaned in over her shoulder and started explaining, “Now look closely here, these two little stones are for the twinners. We have opals for Sami and Eric…” He reached his arm around her to point out the two charms he was talking about.

“Oh, their birthdays, yes, yes, yes!”

“Carrie, none other than the aquamarine.”

Marlena saw the next charm, a star and she knew. She knew it was for Isabella, and her heart hurt for John’s loss all over again. She looked up at him, and said softly, “And a…a star.”

“The light,” he replied simply looking down into her face with a sad smile, before continuing, “Next, we have an angel for protection, and guidance.”

“And a life preserver?” she asked.

“Uh huh, for a safe journey, and we have an anchor…steadfastness,” he said. His finger reached out to the last charm dangling from the bracelet, and he said with a smile, “What the hell is this thing on the end? Is this a, uh…”

“What is it? It looks like…” Marlena starts laughing, “Looks like a couch or a sofa!”

“Ah, well, what the hell…you are a shrink, right?” John tells her laughing. “I figured with all the heavy duty emotion running up and down this chain, a little touch of whimsy is in order.”

Marlena gazes on his face for a moment, “It’s perfect…perfect. Thank you.” 

John nods at her, too choked up to speak. Afraid that if he did speak, he would say everything he’s been holding back. So he just smiles at her, and reaches out to brush his knuckles over her face, in a gesture that is very familiar to Marlena. She steps forward, and wraps her arms around him at the waist, holding him tightly. “It’s the perfect gift, John…thank you, thank you,” she whispers into his chest. He runs his hands over her back, and up over her shoulders, squeezing gently. It’s difficult to refrain from tipping her face up to his. Just as he’s about to step back, Marlena looks up at him. Her lips are open slightly and her eyes are half closed. She looks like she has looked at him a hundred times before…kissable. 

They both grasp simultaneously, that they are very close to doing something that is much more than friendly. Marlena reaches up and touches his mouth. Before he can even think to stop her, she leans up and kisses him softly, whispering over his lips, “Thank you.” She steps back abruptly, and hands him the bracelet, saying, “Please. Help,” as if nothing out of the ordinary just happened. Slowly taking the bracelet from her while watching her face, he encircles her wrist and fastens the clasp.

Marlena knows she still loves him. Her heart was so conflicted. Roman was imprisoned and tortured for seven year, and she feels guilt over that. Guilt over thinking John was Roman, guilt over being so happy with John, while Roman was going through hell. She knew logically that none of that was her fault, but another part of her blamed herself. Her love for John shouldn’t be, but yet it was, and while his fingers run over her skin, tracing the gold chain, and she looks at him with hooded eyes, she wants him. His focus is on the bracelet now, but her focus is on him. 

Realizing she’s in dangerous territory, she breaks the moment, by turning towards Brady in the playpen and picking him up, “And thank you Brady!” As she spoke, John watched her intently. He was still in love with her. He knew he was, and watching her with Brady, he fell more in love. Marlena gazed up at him, still holding Brady to her, “He’s yummy! I wish I could stay…this feels wonderful…but, I have people waiting at the house…I have to go.”

At a loss for what to say, John just chuckled, and said, “Well it sounds kind of like you have your work cut out for you today.”

“Everyone is bringing a covered dish, of course, because I volunteered to cook,” she laughs grabbing her coat and purse, while heading for the door.

“Oh, no!”

“And what are you doing for Christmas?”

“We’re gonna hang out here, and we’re gonna watch ourselves a ball game.”

“Oh, no, you’re not. You’re coming to my house.”

“Doc, I’m not so sure that such a good idea,” John says slowly. “You know things with Roman are tense right now…”

“I think that it’s a good idea. You have spent more Christmas’s…at that house than I have. So, this Christmas, you’re coming home,” she says. She wants him there because she wants him with her always. She can feel it, she knows John feels it too. They are drawn to each other, and while they know they have to maintain their distance, it’s getting harder, and harder for her to do so. She knew she shouldn’t have run out of the house this morning while Roman was in the shower, but she did it anyway. Being with John made her happy, he made her laugh. When she was with him, she felt lighter, and she needed that in her life. She needed John in her life. 

“I’d like that…” John said. “Let me get the kid in his party duds, and we’ll be there before you know it.”

“I’ll see you at home,” she said happily.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

Roman awoke to find Marlena missing from their bed. The clock read 3:58 am, so she had to be in the house. He knew that sometimes when she woke, she would go downstairs so she didn’t disturb him, that’s likely where she was. Slipping on his robe, he headed downstairs to look for her. As he came to the landing he heard her voice speaking softly to someone, “That was completely your fault! I mean really, John…who leaves a baby with a bowl of strained carrots?” Roman can hear the laughter in her voice, and it sounds almost odd. It’s been so long since he’s heard her laugh, that he’d forgotten what it sounded like.

“No, I don’t believe that Eric and Sami were plotting against you!” she said laughing even harder. “What! That wasn’t my fault! Brady kept spitting the peas all over me, I didn’t have anything else to wear…yes, I’ve washed them, I just haven’t gotten them back to you yet…”

He couldn’t figure out why his wife was down here in the dark on the phone with John at 4 o’clock in the morning. How often did she do this? He kept listening as she said, “I had another dream…it was about when I had to kill the snake… sometimes I dream I’m back in that pit surrounded by a hundred snakes. I wake up scared and covered in sweat…and I feel so alone, so lost…” 

Roman wasn’t aware that she had even encountered a snake while she was down there. She’d never talked to him about it, but then he realized that he’d never asked her. Anytime she brought up her time in the warehouse, he’d just brush her off, and tell her that she was safe now. She didn’t need to relive it by talking about it, but apparently, she was reliving it every night…and then talking to John about it. He didn’t see any sense in rehashing what was past, yet here she was sitting in the dark talking to John about their memories with the twins, feeding Brady, and her nightmares. Roman decided get ready for work and go in early.

~ ~ ~ ~

Roman and Officer Taylor McCall were on a stakeout when they were spotted. Roman didn’t know where the shot came from, but Taylor was almost hit. It had been chaotic trying to secure the scene, and by the time they returned to the office to file the necessary reports, Roman noticed she was in no condition to write up a report, “Hey McCall? Taylor…”

“Yeah, Roman,” she replied looking at him from the desk, with red rimmed eyes.

“You want to go on home, and I’ll finish this report?” he asked her from across the room.

“No, I’m fine…” she said looking at the paperwork in front of her. She felt as if she needed to be tough. She needed to handle the job because she’d signed up for this. Maybe with time she’d become desensitized. “I guess, if I’m gonna be a cop, I have to get used to this kind of stuff.”

Roman crossed the room and crouched down in front of her. “You know, McCall, getting shot at isn’t something you ever get used to. No one expects that from you,” he tells her.

“I expect it from myself…” she says staring down at him.

Roman feels a growing spark of respect for her. Grabbing her hand in his, he tells her, “If you want to stay…then you stay, but going home doesn’t make you weak.”

Lifting her head and looking back at him, she says firmly, “I’m staying.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Marlena had come to John’s loft for coffee, after running into him at Salem Place, but once they’d gotten settled, they’d realized that Brady had a fever. She’d intended to go home and get ready for a New Year’s party she and Roman were expected to attend, but she was running late. In order to spend more time with John and the baby, Marlena had decided to change there. Spending time with John made her feel lighter, and she found herself wanting to be with him more and more lately.

Brady was finally calm and sleeping in his room. Marlena had checked on him again before she went into John’s room to change. Setting her bag on the bed, she walked over to his dresser, and saw a framed photo of him, and Isabella, with Brady. It must have been taken before she became ill, because there was lightness to their eyes that was missing from later photos. Placing it back gingerly, she turned to her bag. 

Being in John’s bedroom brought a level of intimacy she wasn’t expecting. It carried his scent, and as she sat on the bed to remove her shoes and socks, she ran her finger over the fabric of the down comforter, remembering the last time she was in his bedroom. Her p*ssy clenched as she remembered lying in his bed with his hand down her pants. She couldn’t afford to let her mind wander like this. Being lonely, and unhappy in her marriage, led her to being weak, and vulnerable. This wasn’t a good thing, she knew that, but she also wasn’t sure how much longer she could stand being so alone…while not being alone at all.  

As she left John’s room, she ran into him exiting Brady’s room. Marlena laughed softly, asking him, “Are you checking him again?”

“You probably think I’m some kind of neurotic nut, huh?” John laughed. “But you gotta understand, I-I never took care of a baby before. I mean, think about it…the twinners, they were mere toddlers when…you and I got married.”

“I think you should congratulate yourself, you’re doing a wonderful job.”

They stared at each other in silence for a moment, each wanting the other, before John said a bit abruptly, “I think you…oughta get going. You probably have something planned with Roman tonight, right?”

“I do, I do,” she says, before turning her back to him. “Can you just, um, help me a bit…”

John notices her zipper only halfway up, and reaches out to help her, but before he can stop himself, he runs the pad of one finger down her spine. He hears her little gasp, as her body shakes, and covers in goosebumps. Breathing her in deeply, he tells himself to stop…but he doesn’t. Instead he places his whole palm on the soft, warm skin of her back. He hears Marlena’s soft intake of breath before she whispers, “John…”; however she makes no move to stop him from touching her.

“Your skin has always been so soft, Doc. Sometimes I dream about it,” he whispers, leaning in close to her ear, and running his fingers up over her shoulder. Her head tips back towards him fractionally, baring her neck to him. Moving her hair to the side gently, he nips at the side of her neck softly, kissing it with a relaxed open mouth, before pulling back, and zipping her dress the rest rest of the way up. Neither one of them moves from the positions they seem to be arrested in, until John finally clears his throat and says, very quietly, “You better get a move on, or you’re going to be late.”

~ ~ ~ ~

She was kissing Roman, and then she wasn’t. She gazed into John’s face as he hovered over her, in her bed. How did he get here, and where was Roman? John leaned forward dragging his open, relaxed, lips along her jaw and over her mouth, leaving a moist trail that caused her body to cover shiver. She trembled underneath him, staring into his dark blue eyes, and breathing in short, slight breaths. He stared at her for a long moment, memorizing her face, before he leaned into her mouth again, licking softly over her bottom lip, and groaning deeply. “F*ck, Doc, I want you so bad.”

The feel of his large hand running up over her hip, and her ribs before cupping her breast, had her moaning deeply. She felt like she must be dreaming, but it was so good…she reached up to his face, and ran the pads of her fingers over his mouth, before she threaded them into the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him forward. Just as his mouth reaches hers, she whispers, “Take me…take me…take me…”

Marlena awakened with a jolt, breathing heavily and highly aroused. She heard Roman’s soft snore beside her as he slept, and she acknowledged, she would, again, not be getting any quality sleep on this night. After grabbing her robe and slippers, she padded downstairs to make some tea. The ache in her pelvis was deep, and her panties were wet. Her dream had been so realistic, that waking had been a disappointment. Glancing at the clock, she noted that it was entirely too early for her to be up, and drinking tea. She picked up the phone, and dialed John for the sixth time in two weeks, telling herself that this would be the last time. 

John woke to the sound of the telephone ringing and he knew it was Marlena calling. No one else called him at such ungodly hours. He looked forward to her calls. He knew he shouldn’t, but he wanted her to call. New Year’s Eve had been a major lesson in restraint for him. He had forced himself to zip up her dress, and send her on her way…with his blessing, when that was honestly the last thing he wanted to do at the time. Knowing it was her calling made him happy, because she may go home to Roman, but she was calling him in the middle of the night. John answered with sleep in his voice, “Hey, Doc.”

Marlena laughed softly, “How did you know it was me? What if it was someone else?”

“It was you, though,” he said with a smile, and adjusting his pillows so that he could sit up comfortably in the bed.

“Yeah. Did I wake you?”

“You did…but I don’t mind,” he said quietly. Talking to Marlena in the dark, in the middle of the night, took away some of the boundaries they had firmly in place the rest of the time. Here in the dark, on the telephone, they could speak freely.

“I couldn’t sleep again,” she said softly into the darkness of her living room.

“Was it another nightmare?” he asked her. All of her previous calls had been because she found herself alone in the night following a nightmare about being imprisoned in the warehouse. They were dark dreams about being hungry or thirsty, one time it was dream about a snake, and another time it was a dream about dying while she was trapped in the pit. John talked her through all of them, their brief shared experience giving him some insight into how she might be feeling. 

“No, not a nightmare this time,” was all she said.

“Well that’s good. Was it a dream at all…or something else?”

“It was a dream…” she started, but then she changed course, “Do you ever miss us?” She knew she shouldn’t have asked, and she wanted to take back the question, almost as soon as it exited her mouth…but also, she didn’t. She kept remembering the way he kissed her in her dream. She wanted to know the answer, yet she knew she shouldn’t have asked the question to begin with. She was treading into dangerous territory, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. It was too easy to be open with him, when she couldn’t see his face, and she was sitting alone in the dark, in the dead of night.

“Doc,” John said her name so quietly, like a whisper of seduction. Whether that was his intention or not, it worked. John knew her dream was about him. He knew it. It was the only reason she would have, for metaphorically jumping into these waters.

“Yes?”

“What did you dream?” he asked her. If her dream tonight was anything like the dreams he had been having over the last few weeks, he wanted to know. The sexual tension between them had been on the rise ever since their time in the pit together. John honestly didn’t know how much more he could take. Pushing the boundaries of what was acceptable, and then firmly crossing them for a second time, John told her in a voice roughened by his own sexual desire, “Tell me, Doc. Tell me, what did you dream about.”

She was silent for a moment and then she whispered, “You…I dreamt of you.”

“Tell me,” he said.

“I can’t…oh, John, I-I can’t…” she said, blushing in the dark, almost pleading with him not to ask, even as her p*ssy began to throb again.

Unable to stop himself, and wanting to see how far he could push her, he repeated himself, saying, “Tell me, Doc.”

Marlena knew she should stop, hang up the phone, and end this, but she didn’t. This was wrong on so many levels, but she answered John’s question, “I was kissing Roman…but-but then I was kissing you, and I knew, I knew I shouldn’t be…but I didn’t stop it. I didn’t stop you…I-I wanted it. You were in my bed…upstairs…and I didn’t want you to stop…” Marlena felt the ache in her center start to grow again, that deep ache that told her, she needed release. She shifted her weight on the couch hoping for some relief, and didn’t get any. Telling John about her dream shouldn’t arouse her as much as it did, and the worst part is, she knows she’s turned on because of the taboo nature of what they are doing. 

“I dream about you, Doc,” John whispered huskily. “…all of the time. I have dreams where I’m in your bedroom licking your p*ssy and I wake up in pain…”

“Oh, G-d!” she said in a hushed tone. “We can’t do this, John. We can’t.”

“That’s what you say to me in my dreams, you know that? You tell me that we can’t do this…but I don’t know how much longer I can make myself stop! I wake up sometimes, so hard it’s painful…and all I’ve done is dream about you.”

She shouldn’t. She, again, thinks that she should hang up, and stop this right here, but she doesn’t. She has to know. She whispers so softly, John can barely hear her, “What did you dream?”

“We were on the pier, and I pulled you into the shadows. I was kissing you, and you were making those breathy, little panting noises you make when you’re turned on. I made love to you in the dark against the pilings,” John said gruffly. His c*ck was fully erect now and throbbing. John pushed his palm against it to relieve some of the pressure. Marlena was silent, except for her breathing. “Doc?” he asked her.

“Yes?” she answered, barely able to speak in that moment.

“Are you wet right now?”

“I-I think so…probably…” she says breathlessly.

“Find out for me…touch yourself,” he told her.

“Oh, G-d! I can’t John, I can’t.”

“If I was there right now…f*ck, Doc…if I was there…” he groaned, pushing against his d*ck again.

She couldn’t stop herself. She slid her nightgown up her thighs, and slid her hand into her wet panties. A small gasp, and a moan escaped her lips, even though she tried to silence herself. She rubbed the tips of her fingers over her clit softly, and gasped again. She should stop. She needed to stop. She didn’t.

John knew she was touching herself, she didn’t even have to tell him. She was more than touching herself, she was rubbing herself. The sounds she was making, he knew those sounds. “I want to hear it, baby, I dream about the sounds you make when you come. Let me hear it,” John tells her, as he pushes his pants below his c*ck, and starts to stroke over himself slowly, while listening to her breathy gasps. He can imagine her on the couch with her nightgown pulled up, her thighs spread wide, and her hand in her panties. The picture is so clear, it brings him closer to the edge. “Are you close, Doc?”

“Yes,” she quietly pants into his ear. “Yes, G-d, I’m so wet…” Just the knowledge that John is on the phone, listening to her as she rubs her cl*t furiously, turns her on even more. “John, oh, oh…I’m going to….” she says as she starts to orgasm.

“F*ck, Doc, f*ck!” John cries out, and he comes while listening to the sounds of her climax. 

“John, John…John…” she gasps into his ear.

~ ~ ~ ~

Another thing they never mention. A week later, they had seen each other on three separate occasions, and never discussed what had happened in the dark on the telephone. Although, it would have been hard, given that they were never alone together. Marlena and John found themselves constantly surround by other people, anytime they were near each other. The thing that unnerved him was that she hadn’t called him anymore. John hadn’t realized how much he had come to look forward to her early morning phone calls, until he stopped receiving them.

John knocked on the door of Carrie’s apartment lost in thought. He was pulled back to the present when she answered the door, and exclaimed, “Dad! What are you doing here?”

John arched his eyebrow at her quizzically, and she realized she had called him dad, but she didn’t correct herself. He went on anyway, “Did you forget I was coming over today?”

“No, I just had tons of stuff to do, um, could we maybe talk about this later?” Carrie said. She didn’t want to have to tell him she was going somewhere with Austin…overnight. No teenage girl ever wanted to have that conversation with her dad, but of course, he wouldn’t let it go.

“You going somewhere?” he asked her.

Sighing, and deciding to just forge ahead, Carrie said, “Yeah, we’re going to the mountains…to help Austin train for his fight.”

“Just the two of you?”

“Dad…John, it’s not what you think.”

“So does your dad, and Marlena know about this?” he asked her with an arched eyebrow.

“No…it’s only one night,” she muttered turning her back to him. She could not seem to manage this most awkward conversation while looking at him.

“Only?”

“Please don’t tell them,” she pleaded, spinning to face him again..

“Carrie, you have been keeping a lot of things from them lately.”

“They’re having enough problems right now. I don’t want to make things worse for them.”

“Problems? What kind of problems are you talking about?” John had sensed that Marlena was unhappy. He had felt it for weeks, every time he saw her, and especially during their phone calls. He had assumed that he was just transferring his own emotions onto her…possibly his own unhappiness and loneliness. 

“You haven’t noticed?” she asked him curiously, watching for his reaction. John was closer to Marlena than anyone, and if anyone suspected something it would be him.

John turned away from her, to hide his eyes. Marlena had told him once that he had very expressive eyes. He started talking while he toyed with the zipper on his jacket. “Marlena’s gone though hell, Carrie, we can’t expect her to recover overnight. She’s going to be experiencing a lot of stress and it’s bound to rub off on Roman,” he said.

Carrie paused before answering him, “Yeah, you’re right. That’s probably what it is.” 

He turns to face her, and says, “Look, I didn’t come here to talk about them.”

“If it’s about the check—” Carrie starts talking, but John quickly cuts her off.

“—Yes, it’s about the check,” he says.

Carrie starts speaking, as if she’s taking her lines from a written script she had prepared for the occasion, “I am so sorry I hurt you, and Marlena. You guys taught me right from wrong, and—”

“—and to be loyal to your friends…so, is that what’s shaking here? You covering for a friend?” he asked her. John strongly suspects that Billie is the one who stole the check, and forged it. He thinks Carrie knows this, but she’s covering for her. In fact, he’s almost certain.

“If you think I’m covering for Austin…” Carrie finds herself beginning to feel defensive. She never wanted Austin pulled into this.

“I’m actually thinking more along the lines of Austin’s sister…Billie,” John told her. “Look, she’s out of a job, she’s into drugs, and G-d knows what else.”

Carrie starts to panic, and says loudly, “I admitted my guilt to you! Why won’t you just leave it alone!”

“Because, I don’t believe you,” he says back to her. “What I do believe is, that you are a hell of a friend for putting your butt on the line for her!”

Carrie feels a happiness bloom in her, knowing that her dad doesn’t think she’s capable of stealing, but she also doesn’t plan on telling him the truth, “How do you know that?”

“Would she do the same thing for you? Huh?”

“Billie does a lot more than people give her credit for,” she argues.

“I don’t like seeing you take the rap for something that she did, though!”

“I’m not!” Carrie says lamely, walking away, and turning her back on him. She can’t face him, and lie to his face. He knows she didn’t do it, and she’s always been a very bad liar.

“Listen Punkin, not too long ago, you and I struck up a deal…we made a pact that we were going to share everything that happens in our lives. Just you and me, things we wouldn’t even tell anybody else,” John pauses to see if she might turn around, and admit to lying for Billie, but she doesn’t. He sighs, and says, “Fine. I guess that deal is over and done with.”

Carrie finally faces him and says softly, “Just for a little while, okay?”

“No, I’m not going to let this one drop.”

“What are you going to do?” she asks him.

“No. What are you going to do? This is your call…I suggest you think about it.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Roman and Taylor were preparing for another undercover job. They had been working on this case for weeks and he was hoping to bust it wide open. The problem was that he had been unable to get an inside track on this drug ring. They knew it was running out of a club on the seedier side of town, but none of the people who worked there were willing to talk. As he sat as his desk running over possible options in his head, Bo comes in leading a woman in handcuffs.

Roman runs his eyes over her. She’s a hot, sexy, little number. She’s not wearing much in the way of clothing, and her eye make-up is dark and smoky. She pushes her dark, curly, hair out of her face, and says loudly, while chewing her gum, “What the f*ck man! Why ya pulling at me so hard?” She tries to jerk away from Bo, but he only holds her arm tighter.

“Just sit down, and be quiet for a moment,” Bo says taking off her handcuffs, and turning to Roman. “I got this one down off of West 2nd Street, pretty sure she’s peddling for Rico, but she’s not talking…she might be a dancer at his club too…”

Roman leans closer to the girl, “Selling drugs, huh? That will get you some hard time.”

“F*ck off ya pig! I ain’t sayin’ nothin’. I want a lawyer.”

“You haven’t been charged with anything…Ms…” he was hoping she’d continue, and fill her name…she didn’t.

She just stared at him for a brief moment before looking at Bo. Then to Roman’s complete, and absolute shock, she took off her wig, and started laughing. Bo was in hysterics, watching the shock that took over Roman’s face, and smacking her on the shoulder, “Sh*t McCall, he didn’t even know! This might actually work!”

“What the actual f*ck, Bo!” Roman shouted…but he knew. This would work. They had an ‘in’ now. He felt himself get excited about something for the first time in months. He used to use disguises all of the time in his police work, and ISA cases. This would take some practice to get their roles right, but this would work.

~ ~ ~ ~

She hadn’t called him in over a week and it was slowly breaking her. She missed him so badly. One thing she knew for certain, she should not be outside of John’s door. She shouldn’t be here at all. After their last phone call, Marlena knew she had to stop. Every boundary she had spent the last year and half building, had been utterly destroyed in a matter of minutes, and yet here she stood, prepared to knock on the door to John’s loft. A very bad idea…but she knocked anyway.

When John slid the door to his loft open, Marlena was instantly relieved. Just to see him brought relief to her. She knew she was in deep. She still loved him, she ached for him. Staring up into his face, she said, “Hi…”

“Doc…come on in,” he said.

“I came by to see if you had talked to Carrie about that check,” Marlena asked.

John had cornered Billie earlier, and tricked her into admitting that she was the one who stole his check and forged it, so he told Marlena, “Yes…she’s covering for somebody.”

“Austin?”

“No, not Austin…”

“Billie?” she asked. John doesn’t answer her, but his look tells her what she needs to know. “I should have guessed it was Billie. Of course, it was Billie. She was so protective of her when we found out Billie was taking drugs again,” Marlena said, while putting down her coat and her purse. She turned back to John, and asked him, “Why would she do that? Why would she risk making us unhappy to protect Billie?”

“I didn’t say it was Billie.”

“But it’s obvious. I know that’s true,” Marlena tells him. 

“Well, at least we don’t have to worry about Carrie doing drugs. I mean, in this day and age, that’s something to be very grateful for.”

“Uh huh, and all in all, she’s a very good girl.”

“So we must have done something right,” John told her.

Marlena stared at John, remembering their past, and all of the times they had parented Carrie together. She missed those days. What they had been helping her with over the last couple of weeks felt very similar, almost domestic. Marlena considered telling Roman now, especially since it was essentially resolved, and they knew that Carrie had not stolen the money, but she found herself resisting. Keeping things from Roman, having secrets was generally not in her nature, but Marlena knew that if she told Roman two things would happen: 1) He would be angry that he was kept out of the loop for so long, and 2) she would no longer have an excuse to randomly show up at John’s loft, and spend time with him. Both of those reasons were horrible excuses. She knew that…she did. Right? 

John can’t get over how beautiful Marlena is. Even standing in his apartment discussing the most mundane topics, he finds her beauty to be something that consumes him. He shouldn’t have brought up their past together. It just happens to be on his mind a lot recently. He misses her, and he wants her…but she’s not his. In order to keep this from becoming awkward, John says, “I mean—”

“I know what you meant. We did both have a hand in raising her, you know,” she said softly. “We can’t ignore that.” Marlena was staring, and she knew she was staring. She felt her eyes dart to his mouth, and her lips parted slightly. Stop this. She gasped slightly and suddenly turned away from John, because she wanted him. She wanted him so badly, she felt her core clench. 

John stepped up behind her, so close she could feel the heat of his body rolling onto her back. He leaned closer to her ear, and reached around her, touching the bracelet at her wrist lightly. “I see you’re still wearing the gift I gave you,” he said, his breath wafting over her ear. Marlena struggled to control her responses, but she couldn’t. Her body trembled with need as his fingers ran over her wrist, and the gold chain around it. 

“I love it…” she said without turning to face him. They were crossing so many lines and she couldn’t find the willpower within herself to stop.

“I just hope Roman doesn’t mind,” he says softly, still holding her wrist, and running his thumb over her pulse. He could feel her heart racing, and he stepped closer, pressing against her back.

“Why would he mind?” she whispered. She was trapped in this moment. The deep resonance of his voice vibrating through her. The seduction of the scene, weaving a spell around her.

John pulled her hair aside, and ran the tip of his nose up the side of her neck, nuzzling behind her ear. “Just something that Carrie said,” he replied.

Marlena gasped quietly, and asked him, “Hmm, what was that?”

“She’s worried about the two of you,” John says sliding his strong arm around her waist, and pulling her body closer. So close, she can feel the edge of his erection pushing against her hip.

She reaches her hand back, and grips the front of John’s thigh, while he licks behind her ear gently, causing her to gasp. She hasn’t felt emotions this strong in years…not since before she ‘died’ and returned. She felt her knees buckle, but he held her firm.

John’s moan surprised himself. He knew his c*ck was hard, he was throbbing, and he’d barely touched her. His body’s desire to ease the pressure, had him involuntarily pushing his c*ck against her backside. She squeezed his thigh harder, digging her nails into the dark fabric of his jeans, before she abruptly steps away from him, breaking their connection. 

Marlena turns to him, and looks up, “We can’t do this…we can’t.”

John says in a low tone, “Then you might need to leave, Doc, because I don’t think I can stop.”

Marlena looks around like an entrapped animal, grabs her coat, and her purse, and leaves the loft.

~ ~ ~ ~

Roman was frustrated and unhappy. He had been woken the night before to his wife’s nocturnal mutterings, which were normally just nonsense. These weren’t. She’d been breathing in that breathy way she did when she was aroused. He’d watched her, tempted to wake her, and see where it might take them, because what ever she was dreaming about was steamy. It had been so long since they’d made love, before her kidnapping by Stella. It had been months…since it was now the first week of February. They rarely spoke, hell, they rarely saw each other. Roman spent so much time at work, and now that Marlena was re-certified, her work schedule kept her busy as well.

Just as he was about to wake her, she gasped, “We can’t do this…we can’t ” and Roman decided to wait. Can’t do what? Her head rolled back, and she moaned again, saying, “Oh, G-d! John…” and if that wasn’t a mood killer, then Roman couldn’t think of anything worse. Really? My wife is in my bed having sex dreams, about her ex-husband. F*cking great. Roman got out of bed, and decided to go to work early.

Now he found himself working late. He and Taylor had gone to her apartment, so she could work out possible disguises for this drug case they were working on. Roman was exhausted. He was pretty sure he was looking at a sixteen hour day at this point. He looked up when he heard her clear her throat.

Taylor McCall stood in front of him in one of the more revealing outfits she had gotten for this occasion. She wore a clingy dress with cut-outs in the side. It was low in the front, and high in the back. Roman had vetoed all of the other ones as ‘too modest’, ‘too librarian’, and ‘too schoolgirl’. This was her last one. If this one didn’t work, she’d have to find something else for this job.

Roman stared at her, with his mouth slightly ajar. It did something to him, but he wasn’t willing to even acknowledge the stirring he felt low in his belly. “Where the hell did you get that, McCall?”

“The thrift store, idiot. I’m not paying full price for this sh*t,” she said sarcastically. “What do you think? Is it passable?”

“It barely covers your ass, so yeah, I’d say it’s passable,” Roman said.

“Are you checking out my ass, Captain Brady?” she laughed.

“You’ve got a fine butt, McCall. Look, it’s getting late, and I’m exhausted. I gotta get going,” Roman said yawning.

“We have another issue to discuss first,” she said.

“Oh, G-d…what?”

“We’re going in together, right? We need a cover. Are you my pimp, my boyfriend, my brother who’s also my pimp…what?” she asked him.

“F*ck. Really, we gotta do this now? It’s almost midnight.”

“If we’ve got no chemistry, Brady…this ain’t gonna work…” she stated matter of factly.

“Chemistry…really…how the hell are we gonna…No. Nope. I gotta go,” Roman says looking around for his jacket. He was too tired, too horny, too lonely, and she looked entirely too f*cking sexy in that get-up she was wearing. Then he felt it. Her hand ran up his back, and over his shoulder as she stepped around his body, and stood in front of him.

“Come on. Real fast. Just kiss me quick. It doesn’t mean a thing…I know that,” she said with a smirk.

But Roman knew better. He’d been teetering on a thin line for weeks. He was unhappy in his marriage, but in a Catholic family, that didn’t matter. Vows were forever, so was unhappiness in some cases, but Roman knew he was not content. The marriage he had right now, was not the same one he’d left years earlier. His wife was discontent, he knew that too. She wanted the twins home, and, if he was brutally honest with himself, she wasn’t in love with him…she was in love with John Black. F*cking John Black. The man was in her dreams, she called him in the middle of the night…he’d heard her talking to John, as if they were best friends. 

The night Stella kidnapped Marlena, and put her in the pit, he’d told his wife that they were like two ships passing in the night. It was still true, and the guilt he held onto over that was heavy. He hadn’t looked for her for weeks after she went missing. He just assumed she was angry and didn’t want to speak to him. It was his pride that stopped him, and she’d suffered for it. It was John who figured it out. It was John who’d found her. 

Roman looked at the sexy woman front of him, asking him to kiss her. She said it was to test for chemistry, so be it. Roman grabbed the back of her head, threading his fingers into her hair, and pulled her forward, crashing their lips together. It was supposed to be fast, quick, and over in seconds. It wasn’t. He practically devoured her. It was rough, and hot. His arm wrapped around her waist, lifting her to her toes, and holding her tightly. He liked the way she felt against him. When Roman finally pulled back, he was shocked at himself. He wasn’t usually so aggressive.

They were both breathing hard, and staring at each other in shock. Taylor glanced at Roman’s mouth, and then back up to his eyes. Her lips were swollen, and puffy because of the force with which he’d kissed her. She said, “F*ck, Brady, who knew?” She ran her hand over his chest slowly, and said, “You wanna go again? I won’t tell.”

“I’m married, McCall,” Roman said slowly, watching her hand trail over him.

“I don’t want a relationship, Brady, just a hard f*ck every now and then,” she whispered.

He needed something so bad, a connection…maybe just sex. He wanted this. He wanted the rough, aggressive, no promises, kind of sex. Roman gripped her hair, and pulled her head back, looking into her eyes, “No strings? No attachments?”

“I don’t do relationships. Too messy,” she moaned.

“F*ck,” Roman groaned before biting at her neck.

Taylor McCall, always ready with a sarcastic comment said, “I certainly hope so…”

~ ~ ~ ~ 

“This is a little early for one of our normal chats, isn’t it, Doc? You never call before midnight,” John said laughing.

Marlena glanced at the clock and noticed it was only 11:45 pm. She had been lonely, and the house was so quiet. Roman had left a message saying he was working late on some undercover thing, and she hadn’t given much thought to picking up the phone, and calling John.

“I miss the twins,” she said softly. “I want them home.”

“Then bring them home, Doc. I can take you…on Victor’s plane. We could fly to Colorado tomorrow if you wanted to,” he said.

“Every time I try to speak with Roman about it…” she says, and then she stops speaking for a moment before continuing. “Well, when I try to discuss it, he changes the subject or comes up with excuses to let them stay there. I feel like he doesn’t want them home. That’s frustrating…because I lost so much time with them already…”

“Do you want to go get them?”

“Yes…I want my babies back,” she said as silent tears flowed from her eyes. “I don’t understand why Roman doesn’t seem to want them back…”

“Maybe try, and talk to Roman again. Let him know how serious you are. Don’t just broach the subject, Doc, but let him know that you want them home, and you plan on bringing them home,” John told her. “Roman’s the kind of guy, you have to be really straight with. Don’t make leaving them in Colorado…don’t allow that to be an option. You want the twinners home…tell him you’re bringing them home.”

“You’re right. I know you are,” she murmured. “I’ll speak with him…he’s not home right now…so tomorrow…”

“You know, Doc…maybe we oughta tell Roman about this check thing with Carrie, too. I mean, especially now that we know that she is innocent.”

“We told her we wouldn’t do that,” Marlena says.
“Roman is her father,” John says, even though it pains him every time he has to say it.

“I know that…I know that. We promised we wouldn’t talk about it, and she trusts us…and if we do, we’ll betray that trust. She might not confide in us again.”

John pauses, before he responds, saying, “Perhaps she’ll just tell him on her own, right?”

“Sure…maybe she will,” Marlena says noncommittally.

“You don’t believe that, do you?”

“I think…” she says, “…this is very confusing for Carrie. I mean, she thought that Roman was dead, she thought that you were her father, and Roman came back—”

“—Now that’s kind of a tough situation for anybody to handle.”

“Present company included,” she whispered into the phone.

John knew that the events in Mexico, and their separation for the last year had been difficult on her. It had been excruciating for him. It still was, honestly. He responded the only way he knew how…with generic reassurance, “We’ll work this out…I just think that we expected…everything to fall into place a little too quickly. Sometimes, that shouldn’t happen.”

“I bet you’re right. I bet it will work out,” she replied with equally generic reassurance. After a long pause Marlena smiles, adjusting the phone at her ear, and says, “You know what would be really good right now? Pancakes. You used to make the best pancakes.”

“Doc, it was a box mix,” he said laughing.

“I know that, but I always seemed to mess them up, but when you made them they were perfect! Mine are either too runny or I burn them…or they’re lumpy, or—”

“—I know, Doc. I remember,” John says. “The twinners used to eat three each, I think. Sometimes Eric wanted blueberries and, of course, Sami wanted chocolate chips. I made a lot of pancakes. You know, I taught Carrie how to make pancakes…”

“You did? I didn’t know that.”

“When you were gone, Carrie…well, Carrie took over a lot of things in the house. She also wanted to learn how to cook. She was so great, Doc,” John said quietly. “When everything was falling apart we became this team…”

“I can see that, in how the two of you interact. There’s an understanding between the two of you, that she doesn’t have with Roman. You work with her to solve problems, while Roman tries to solve them for her, and then demands she do what he says,” Marlena says. “Carrie is too stubborn for that. She’s too independent.”

“We went through so much together…she had a huge crush on Frankie that nearly broke her little heart. G-d, Doc, I wanted you here so much when the period talk came up! You’d be proud of me though, I muscled through that one as well…” John laughed. “Although Carrie would likely tell you to never mention it…ever. She was so embarrassed.”

“Roman doesn’t understand any of it. He’s angry. He thinks you took his life…but you didn’t take it…I-I gave it to you.”

“You thought I was Roman. You loved me when I was Roman,” John told her with a deep sadness in his voice. 

“I loved you…when I thought you were John Black. I even loved you, when I thought you might be Stefano…” she whispered. “I should have told you that. I never wanted you to think I only loved you, because I thought you were Roman.”

“What about now?” he asked her in hushed tones.

“Do I love you now?” she asked. 

“Yeah.”

There was a silence that dragged on for a lengthy period before she finally said, so quietly he could barely hear her, “I do.”

John’s heart skipped a beat, but he had to know, so he asked her, “How do you love me, Doc?”

“As a wife…” she whispered. “…and what do I do with that, John? I can’t lose you, it would break me. I need you, Carrie needs you…the twins are going to need you…”

“Maybe I need to go for awhile, Doc. Take Brady, and work from Europe for a couple months…I mean, he’s young enough to do that.”

“John! You can’t!”

“If I don’t, baby…we’re gonna cross a line…we already have crossed the line, you know that,” he says.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

“Roman, I want the twins home,” Marlena told him, as he was getting ready for work the following morning.

“Doc, you want to just pull them out of school, and disrupt their education? Bring them home this summer. They like it in Colorado.”

“How do you know that? You don’t even call them. Eric sounds so sad, and Sami misses your parents, and Shawn D. No. I’m tired of waiting. I lost five years with them, Roman, I want them home,” she said firmly.

“I still don’t think it’s a great idea. You’re just going to get a flight, show up, and pull them out of school? Do you know how hard it’s going to be, traveling through the airport with two eight year olds? What about layovers and stuff?” Roman asked her, trying to stall the inevitable.

“John said we could use Victor’s plane, that we could—”

Roman was enraged, cutting her off, “—F*cking, G-d damned, John! Why the h*ll are you talking to him about this? It’s not his business, and he’s not their father!”

Marlena just stared at a man she didn’t recognize. The man standing in her bedroom with all of the anger, and rage evident on his face, was not the same Roman Brady she had married. John was right, though, she needed to unequivocally state that the twins were coming home. This was not an argument. She said quietly, “I’m bringing them home, Roman. I want them home. They are my children…and I’m bringing them home.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Carrie and Marlena had the same idea while driving in different cars, from different directions…to stop John from leaving Salem. Marlena was in a panic after Roman informed her an hour ago, that John had plans to leave. He had tried to play it off like he was just letting her know, but Marlena saw something in his eyes. Roman was happy, relieved that John planned to leave. Roman had wanted him gone since they came home from Mexico. 

She’d called John’s loft, and left a message, but she knew him. He was avoiding her because this was tearing out their hearts. When he had mentioned the possibility of leaving on the telephone, she didn’t realize he was serious. She knew that whatever they were feeling was complicated. She also knew that they needed to discuss it, but she’d never thought he actually meant to leave her. At least she’d hoped he wasn’t planning to. She was wrong. She couldn’t allow him to leave. They had to find a way to work this out. All she had to do was catch him before he left. 

Carrie knew she had to stop crying while she drove. It wasn’t safe, and her dad had told her when she got her driver’s license, never to drive when she was upset. She was hurt, and overwhelmed with sadness that he was leaving. She was also hurt that he would leave without even saying goodbye to her. Sure, he had left a message on her answering machine…but that wasn’t good enough. He knew that wasn’t good enough. She could hear it in his voice. He was running from something. She wished she knew what it was. All she had to do was catch him before he left.

Marlena stumbled onto the plane, and immediately came face to face with John. Her heart stuttered, and then started racing. He was so beautiful, and while one didn’t usually describe a man as beautiful…her utter devotion, and overwhelming love for him made him beautiful to her. At a loss for words, all she could think to say was, “I’m glad I got here before it’s too late!”

“I just left a message for you on your answer—”

“You can’t leave like this! You can’t!”

John turns away from her. He’s afraid that in his emotional state he’s going to grab onto her, and she’s not his. “Why did you come here?” he asks her.

“Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?”

“I’m sure, I’m sure, I’m sure…” he says in an attempt to convince himself as much as he’s trying to convince her. This has to be the right thing, because if it’s not, they are both lost to the emotions driving them closer, and closer. 

“John, look at me,” Marlena says.

Carrie boards the plane, and hears voices coming from the cabin. She walks closer, leaning against the wall, and hears her dad say, “It’s not going to make a difference, Doc.”

“I just want to see your face,” Marlena pleads. Carrie can hear the emotion in Marlena’s voice, almost as if she’s begging him. She knows she walked in on something significant, she can’t figure out what. “I’m so scared…I’m just scared for all of us! Mostly, I’m scared for Brady. You can’t take him from the only family he’s ever known. You can’t have thought this thing through! Have you?”

Carrie heard the sadness in John’s voice as he responded to Marlena, “I’ve thought this through, yes, and it’d going to be tough going for Brady and me…for quite some time, but down the—”

“—You lost Isabella!” Marlena cried. “Don’t separate yourself, and your son from the rest of the family—” Carrie leaned her head against the wall, and cried. She had never heard her dad and Marlena speak like this. There was so much desperation in their voices. Her dad seemed desperate to go, and Marlena seemed desperate to keep him here…but why?

“That’s the way it’s gotta be, Doc! You know that!”

“No, I don’t know that! No, I don’t!” She yelled. “We’re adults!”

“And this is the adult thing to do! 

“Running away isn’t…no, no…running away isn’t…that’s not adult!” Marlena says vehemently. “You and I can live in the same town. We can.”

“And? And do what?” John asks her. “Just see each other at functions? Say hello? Maybe do a little kiss on the cheek? At arms length we’ll engage in some sort of trivial chit chat? Oh! I don’t think so…”

Carrie gasps, and covers her mouth. They still love each other. Her daddy is leaving because he still loves Marlena. Her heart hurts for them both. She can only imagine what it must feel like to be around the person you love, day in and day out, and have to deny that love. She knows she should leave…this conversation is private, but she stays, because she has to know. 

“Alright, alright…but you’re taking Brady away just because…” Marlena says weeping.

“Just because?” he repeats, while looking at her sadly.

“…just because of what’s going on between us,” she finishes.

“That’s right,” he says. “Because if I stay here in Salem, I’m going to hurt the family…and I’m going to hurt you. G-d knows, I love you…and I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation!” He moves to sit on the couch in an attempt to get some distance from her, to get away from the sadness in her eyes. He was struggling to keep himself from touching her, clenching his fists repeatedly.

Tears streamed down Carrie’s cheeks as she listened to the pain in John and Marlena’s voices. She felt like her family was being torn apart all over again. When she was a little girl and Marlena had ‘died’ John was all she had to get through that. When Marlena returned, Carrie felt like her family was whole again…but when Roman returned, well…while she knew it wasn’t true, her heart saw it as another rip in her family. She wanted that love back, and here they were denying it, when they wanted it so badly. How could they love each other so much, and yet deny themselves something that was so perfect? Carrie pushed herself away from the wall, and left the plane. She needed time alone, to think about this. Hopefully, Marlena was able to convince her dad to stay…somehow.

Marlena knew why John had moved away from her, it was the same reason she had run out of his loft the other day, because when they were close to each other for too long…the restraint became painful. She wasn’t going to allow him to do this though, she absolutely could not lose him. They had to figure this out, because losing him would kill her. “You’re wrong,” she said, sitting beside him. and wiping the tears from her face in a frustrated manner. “If you think you’re doing this for me, you’re wrong! I can’t even imagine my life without you. I don’t want to imagine my life without you! I want you…in my life. I need you,” she says on a sob.

John faces her, and rubs his thumb along her cheek to wipe away a tear. His ability to keep himself from pulling her to him, when all he wants to do is kiss her, and reassure her that everything will work work out, is waning. All he can do is say, without much conviction, “You shouldn’t have come here, Doc.” He had to get away from her, she was too close. Standing up and moving to sit on the table in front of the couch, he sat, just watching her. She was still turned to side, as if he was still sitting beside her. She began speaking to him as if he were still there beside her, “Well there are a lot of things that I shouldn’t have done. I never should have fallen in love with you to begin with…I shouldn’t have done that. It shouldn’t have happened…”

John’s heart was breaking into a million tiny pieces at her words. While she didn’t intend them to hurt, they did, but he allowed her to process this in her own way, while he sat there, silently watching her. “But then…you came along and-and, it just happened…it just happened…I couldn’t help it,” she said to herself, like she was trying to convince herself of something, but it wasn’t working. When she finally turned to face him, she cried, “Oh, my G-d that’s so pathetic!” Reaching up and touching his jawline softly, she whispered, “It didn’t have to happen. I wanted it to happen. I really wanted to love you…I do love you…and now I’m driving you away.”

“It’s the only way out,” John tells her, reaching for her hand, as it slipped from his face.

“Is it? I, I, I don’t know that! I don’t know that!” she said crying. “I also don’t know that, if, at some point in my life, I’m going to stop having these feelings that I have for you.”

“Yes, in time…that’s all.”

“Will I?” she sobbed. “You’re just, you’re just such a part of my life…I don’t know what I…I don’t know what I would do…if you weren’t.”

“Doc, hey, C’mon…don’t be unhappy…it’s the last thing I want—” he tries to reassure her, even as his own tears stream down his face.

“—it doesn’t make you unhappy at all?” she yells, so overcome with emotion that her body shakes with it. 

He can’t do this anymore. He can’t continue to pretend to be strong when he feels as much anguish over their situation as she does. He grabs her hands, pulling her body to the edge of the sofa, and closer to him, and says to her, with his voice filled with anguish, “I’m past that, Doc!” He has to get her to understand, that this is destroying him as much, if not more, than it is destroying her. “I’m free falling! With just the idea that I am never going to see you again! I am never going to hear you laugh, I am never going to smell your perfume…and I am never going to touch you!”

He’s breaking her heart, because what he’s saying to her…it sounds like forever, and forever might truly, honestly, end her. He squeezes her hands in his, and Marlena cries out, “Oh, G-d!” He can’t do this to her. She can’t let him do this.

Using his grasp on her hands, he pulls her forward, and grabs onto the front of her coat, slamming their mouths together. He tells himself, it’s just one. One kiss, because he can’t stop. If he’s going to leave her forever, he’s going to take one more…except it’s not one more. Marlena sobs into his mouth, with breathy little pants, and high pitched gasps…and he loses control. He kisses her, with all of the pent up passion of the last few months, and he can’t stop.

Pulling back, breathing heavy, and taking in her red rimmed eyes, and her puffy lips…he knows they won’t stop. Not this time. He’s looking at her, and she’s breathing heavy…and waiting. She’s waiting for him to make a move – step away, and end this, or…do something. John knows she won’t stop him. They are both past that point. Making his decision, he forcefully pushes her coat off of her shoulders, jerking her body forward into his, and says to her, inches from her mouth, “You make me so f*cking crazy,” before diving back into her mouth and pushing her coat to the floor.

All rational thought leaves them as they drown in each other. John starts unbuttoning her jacket, while she unbuttons the cuffs of his shirt. She says to him, “I’ve got to touch you, I’ve got to..” as she struggles with the buttons on the front of his dress shirt. Marlena doesn’t think she’s ever been so desperate to touch his skin. The buildup to this moment has been so excruciating. Neither one of them could stop now. 

Lifting her body to the couch, and falling over her, John starts kissing her like a man starved. His skin is on fire with the feel of her nails across his chest, and the tug of his chest hair as she pulls at him. Leaning up to pull off his shirt, she follows him, wrapping her fingers into his hair, and pulling his mouth back to hers in desperation. He licks across her jaw, before biting her, and licking over her bottom lip.

Marlena cries out, “Oh, G-d, John…John…oh, I love you…” in between her kisses, and her soft moans.

His heart soars. The sounds she makes when they make love are always his undoing. He sometimes dreams of the sounds she makes when she comes, waking to his c*ck, erect and throbbing. Her soft, breathy, pants arouse him to heights unknown. John licks across her neck, and her chest, sucking on her, and kissing her roughly. He knows he’s leaving marks on her body, but he can’t stop. He doesn’t want to stop. He wants to know, that when she looks at her body tonight, and sees the remnants of their lovemaking, that she’ll ache for him, and his mouth. He likes knowing that she might have to hide it from Roman.

Sitting back on his haunches, John pulls Marlena’s body up, and slides the straps of her camisole off of her shoulders, baring her breasts to him, and the cool air of the airplane cabin. He leans forward to flick one tightened nipple with his tongue, and gently blow over. Marlena’s head rolls back on her moan. Lacing his fingers through her hair tightly, John pulls her head back while kissing her, and sweeping his tongue through her mouth. His c*ck is so hard it hurts, and the pressure of being constricted in his pants is making it worse. He breaks away from their kiss, and practically rips his pants open, pulling his c*ck out, and sighing in relief.

Marlena reaches for his d*ck, stroking over his soft skin, saying, “Take them off, and come here…” She knows what she is doing is wrong, she’s breaking her wedding vows to Roman, and she’s willing to deal with the repercussions of that later. In this moment, with John, she refuses to hold back. 

John slips the rest of his clothes off, before reaching for hers as well. Feeling the full length of their naked bodies together, causes liquid to pool between her thighs. John continues sucking at her breasts, biting her nipples, and then licking over them. She feels as if she could climax just from the sensory overload she’s currently experiencing. Turning them on their side, and pulling a blanket off the back of the sofa, John runs his large palm over her shoulder and down over the swell of her hip, while staring openly at her naked form. “You are so f*cking, gorgeous, Doc…I never…I never thought I’d get to be with you like this again,” he said leaning forward, and kissing her neck and shoulder.

Lifting her leg up to bend at the knee, he slowly runs his finger through the wetness of her pussy, moaning, “You are so wet. You’re so swollen and wet…G-d the heat…” He uses the soft pads of his fingers to massage over her clit in an excruciatingly slow manner, but it brings her to the edge in minutes. They lay there, with John licking over her neck, and nipping at her breasts, while he rubs her pussy, and she knows she’s going to come if he continues. 

Reaching for his d*ck, she begins to stroke him, and rub her thumb over the head. “John…now, I need you in me…please,” she gasps, pulling him harder.

“C’mere, baby,” he says in a desire roughened voice. He pulls her body on top of him, sliding his painfully erect c*ck between her p*ssy lips. 

The glide is torture, and bliss at the same time. As his c*ckhead bumps her clit, Marlena cries out, “John…please!”

Lifting her up, John lowers her body onto him, causing them both to moan in heady arousal. “You feel so good…so d*mn good, Doc..” John says into her neck. Her heat surrounded him, and pulses around him, making it difficult not to come immediately. Reaching his hands out to grip her hips, he pushes himself up into her, and almost sees stars. He pulls her body close to him, and holds her tightly for a moment. He’s afraid if he moved too soon, he’ll come.

“John, please…I need you to move…” she moans into his neck. “G-d, please!”

“F*ck!” he cries, pulling out, and slamming back into her. “I’m not going to last long, Doc. You feel so good…I can’t,” he says to her, his hips pistoning in and out of her. Once he’s started he can’t stop, the friction, and the tightness bringing him to the edge of climax instantaneously.

“I’m there, I’m there…oh, I’m…” she says breathlessly, as she falls over the edge.

The walls of her p*ssy start to flutter, and pull at his c*ck. John bites down on her neck, and starts coming so hard his vision goes black for a second. Even after they have both come, he finds his body still moving within her, as his c*ck twitches, and his body shivers, covering him in goosebumps. He reaches for the blanket tangled around their legs, and throws it over them. Marlena is draped over his chest, running her fingers through the hair on his chest and rubbing her cheek on him. “I love you,” he tells her softly. “I love you…and you love me too. We just proved that.”

“I do. I know I shouldn’t, but I do…” she whispered into him. “I-I have to tell Roman. I can’t do this to him…be with him, while wanting to be with you. It’s not, it’s not fair.” Marlena sits up abruptly saying, “I don’t know how I’m going to face Roman. Oh, G-d, this was all my fault.”

“No, no, no,” John says holding her close. “It was my fault…it wasn’t yours.”

“It was. It was. I came here…I came here and I…I convinced myself that it was just to talk, but I know better than that, I know better than that!” Marlena says as she starts to cry into her hands.

“Look at me. Look at me,” John tells her pulling her face to look at him.

“I have to tell Roman…tonight, because it’s unfair to lie to him…when my heart belongs to you,” she says so quietly it’s a whisper.

~ ~ ~ ~

Roman has been out of town working on an undercover case for the last month. Marlena returned home, after her encounter with John on the plane, to find a note. A very vague, nondescript note, telling her, he was on a case, and he would contact her when he could…a month ago. In that time Marlena has avoided John, although he has reached out to her several times. She knew if she saw him, she’d be lost to their passion again. She had to end things with Roman, before she could even begin to tackle her love for John. But it was getting harder and harder to stay away. She missed John…she missed Brady too. She was having a mental debate with herself over whether or not she should just give in, and call him, when he arrived on her doorstep.

Marlena stood at the door staring into the face of the most beautiful person alive. He just smirked at her, and said, “You’re avoiding me, Doc.” He walked past her, and entered the house, while Marlena just looked at him in startled defiance. “I know Roman’s out of town, too.”

“He is. I was-I was meaning to talk to him, when I came home…but he was gone…”

“So you just avoided me for a month? C’mon, Doc. You’re in this house, all alone. I know you’re missing the twinners. This isn’t good for you,” he said walking up to her and tipping her face to his. “Are you still having nightmares?”

Marlena looks down, and says quietly, “Yes.”

“I can tell…you look exhausted,” he said.

“John!”

“You got any coffee?” he asks her heading for the kitchen.

Carrie knocked on the front door, but there was no answer. Marlena’s car was in the driveway, so she let herself in with her key. “Marlena?” she called. Receiving no answer she walked towards the kitchen. She started to enter, when she heard voices, John and Marlena. She had seen them both separately over the last month, but not together. They were each acting distracted, and unfocused, outside of their normal controlled behavior. Carrie listened at the door, and hoped that no one caught her.

“I don’t believe this is happening to me. This is what I hear my patients say all the time. I don’t believe that I lied to myself. How did I let this happen? I don’t know why it happened,” Marlena said crying.

“Because we loved each other for a long time. Because we shared that bed upstairs. We shared our lives…” John said. “…and then suddenly, Roman came back and it’s over just like that.”

Carrie could hear Marlena sobbing in the kitchen as John spoke; heart wrenching sobs were drifting through the door, and she started crying too. Their lives had been so confusing over the last year. She heard John say, “But it was never really over was it? At least not in our hearts…was it?”

“No…” Marlena said quietly, still crying. She looked up at John and asked him, “What are we going to do? What are we going to do?”

“Come here, baby,” John said softly wrapping her in his arms, and allowing her to sob into his chest.

“It’s killing me, John. I have to tell Roman, but I can’t because he’s not here,” she said. “I can’t just leave him without an explanation, and I have no way to contact him.”

“I’m sorry, Doc. I didn’t want to upset you by bringing this up.”

“You didn’t,” Marlena said, stepping back from him, and walking to the other side of the room. She needed distance from him, but the draw to him was so strong. “I’m upset about all of the years that I spent on the island. All those years away from my children…and everything I love, because of Stefano. Do you have any idea how badly I want to be rid of him?”

“I know, Doc,” John whispers. “As much as I love you, and want to be with you, we have to consider what this is going to do to the family…what it’s going to do to you.”

“I don’t care,” Marlena said quietly.

“Doc, let me tell you something, the woman in the middle of the triangle…she’s always the one to blame—”

“—I don’t care—”

“—it’s always been that way since the beginning of time!” he said shouting.

“I don’t care!” Marlena shouted, spinning around to face him.

John took a step closer to her, saying, “People are gonna talk out there! I do care! I don’t want them gossiping. I don’t want them branding you a sinner!”

“I did betray my husband!” Marlena said loudly. 

“You were a victim, Doc. You and I were just victims of fate. Fate twisted by Stefano DiMera! He took Roman away, he put me in his spot…and because of that, you and I share an indestructible bond!”

“I know, I know, I know…I know…” she whispered. 

John stepped closer, directly in front of her, and ran his palm over her tear stained cheek. “When you and I made love, Doc, it was as pure as if we were married. I don’t want you punishing yourself, and I don’t want any people out there punishing you either.”

Marlena turned to face the sink, grabbing a glass from the cabinet for some water, and said softly, “I know what’s in store for me, if the truth gets out. I know that my friends, and my colleagues might lose respect for me. But most of all, I know that I’m going to have to face Carrie and Roman. I’ll have to see the disappointment in their eyes…but despite all that, I owe him the truth. I just need him to come home!”

Carrie stepped away from the door quietly, and left the house. John and Marlena had made love, probably on the plane that night a month ago. Knowing what they were going through now, and remembering the love they had for each other when she was younger, Carrie wasn’t surprised that it had come to this. While she was sad for her father, she found that she wasn’t angry. She didn’t feel disappointed in Marlena at all. John was right, they were all victims of circumstance. None of this was fair, but feelings didn’t lie. Carrie certainly didn’t expect John and Marlena to deny their love for each other. The only question was, where did they go from here?

In the kitchen, John approached Marlena, standing behind her, and said, “I’m not leaving you to handle this on your own…I wouldn’t do that.” He wraps his arms around her waist pulling her back against him. He can feel the heat of her body through the cotton of her shirt, while he buries his face in her hair, breathing her in. 

Marlena lays her head back, resting it on John’s chest, and absorbing the feel of him against her. “You’re such an amazing man, John,” she whispers. “I love you so…”

John sweeps her hair away from her neck, kissing her softly there, and says, “I feel like you are a part of me…if I were to lose you again, Doc, it might break me completely.” Grasping her face in his hand, he tips it up to his, and kisses her softly. “You are everything to me…everything…” he mumbles sweeping his tongue across her warm mouth, and pushing inside. Making its way under her shirt, John’s hand strokes along the warm skin of her belly, causing Marlena to moan into him. He continues to make love to her mouth with slow strokes of his tongue, and nips along her lips. His hand pulls her hair, tugging her head back for a better angle. Marlena feels trapped in the most sensual way. 

Just when Marlena thinks, she can’t handle anymore, John starts whispering in her ear, as his hand moved to the waistband of her sweatpants, “Sometimes I wake up at night, and all I see is your face…I can hear you talking to me.” His hand slides into the front of her pants, and toys with the edge of her panties, as he continues talking, “I can feel your arms around me. I can feel your body close to me.”

“Oh, G-d! John,” she moans as his hand slides into her panties, and he dips a finger into her p*ssy. 

He rubs his finger over her swollen cl*t, saying, “I wake up so hard, and throbbing, it’s painful…and all I can do is imagine you, panting and moaning in my ear, as I rub myself to completion. F*ck, Doc, you make me crazy!”

His fingers are stroking her, and then dipping inside, only to come back, and circle her cl*t again. Over and over, until she thinks she’s going to explode. “John…John, I’m going to…oh G-d!” Marlena throws her head back onto his chest moaning, as she comes on his hand, her hips grinding down on his fingers, but it’s not enough. Her body relaxes onto him, but she’s still humming with unfulfilled sexual arousal.

He knows she needs more, he can feel it in her body, John slowly pulls his hand out of her panties, and brings his wet fingers to his mouth. Marlena watches him with hooded eyes, and whispers, “I need more…please…” Turning around, she reaches for the button of his jeans, and quickly unfastens them, Marlena practically begs him, “John…”

“I know, baby, I got you,” he says before pushing her sweatpants, and her panties to the floor, and picking her up. Her legs wrap around him, her hips rubbing her cli*t along the front of his jeans to get relief. She’s panting, and gasping in his ear, as he walks her into the laundry room, and sits her on the dryer, spreading her legs, and gazing down her wet, swollen pussy. “Fuck, Doc!” John exclaims, leaning forward, and running his tongue up the length of her.

Their eyes lock, while he unzips his jeans, and shoves them down below his throbbing d*ck. John grabs her hips, pulling her forward, and enters her in one stroke. Both of them are overwhelmed by the sensation of it. Marlena wraps her arms around John’s neck, holding their foreheads together, and breathing heavily, while she waits for him to move. “John…move…” she groans helplessly.

“Tell me what you want, Doc.”

“You know what I want, John.”

“Tell me,” he says pulling out slightly, and going back in. She’s so tight and hot, he’s not sure he can continue this game, but he knows he can get her there. He’s done it before. He can make his ‘Doc’ so hot, she’ll do anything…and she knows what he wants. “Say it,” he breaths into her.

“Oh, G-d!…f*ck me…please, f*ck me!”

“That’s right,” he says pulling out almost completely, and shoving back in deeply. “You’re mine, baby…mine.” Johns hands hold her body firmly in place on the edge of the dryer, and he moves in and out of her with long, hard strokes. 

Marlena’s arms hold on to him tightly as she pants into his ear, “I love you, I love you…I…” and then she climaxed again, John following soon after. 

As they held each other, breathing shallowly, Marlena running the tip of her nose along John’s neck, he tells her on a whisper, “You’re mine, baby…we’ll figure this out, but you’re mine, and I’m yours.”

“I know,” she whispers back.

~ ~ ~ ~

Roman knew he should have called Marlena. This undercover assignment with McCall was going longer than he had anticipated, and while they were making progress, they were nowhere near done; however, calling Marlena meant acknowledging what he was doing, to himself, and to her. As it was, he had been pretending that this girlfriend/boyfriend undercover thing was real, but he knew…he was cheating on his wife…a lot. Sometimes he and McCall had sex three times a day, she couldn’t seem to get enough, and Roman? He was discovering a side of himself he didn’t even know existed. He and Taylor were having sex in every position, and almost every manner imaginable, and he couldn’t seem to get enough of it either. Sex with Marlena had never been this good, and honestly, Roman didn’t think he could go back to that kind of vanilla life. Sex with his wife was usually a mundane, missionary style, done in fifteen minutes kind of sex. Roman didn’t think Marlena knew anything different.

Maybe his time with Stefano had changed him, or maybe this side of him had always been there, and he’d just been unaware. What he did know was, he had to tell his wife. His marriage was over, and while he may not have a longterm relationship with Taylor McCall, he knew for certain that he didn’t have one with Marlena Evans. He was going to have to take a break from this case, get home, talk to his wife, and then return to wrap this up.

~ ~ ~ ~

“Hello?” John said answering the phone on the third ring. Brady was screaming for his bottle, so John juggled the receiver in one hand, and gave Brady his bottle with the other.

“Dad, it’s Marlena…it’s Marlena,” Carrie sobbed into the phone.

“Carrie honey, calm down…where are you?” he asked her, as panic started to rise in him.

She could barely speak, as she gasped for air, “I-I’m at the hospital. It was a car, a car accident…”

“I’m coming, Punkin, I’m coming now,” he said. “Let me get Brady packed up, and I’ll be there, okay?”

“Okay, okay…please…I’m so scared,” she cried.

“I’ll be there in a half hour, no later…promise,” John said hanging up the phone. He rushed around packing up a diaper bag for Brady, while allowing Brady to finish his bottle, and ran out of the house in less than twenty minutes.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

Roman arrived at the hospital to an unwelcome scene of domesticity two hours later. His parents sat with John and Carrie, talking softly, as she rocked Brady in her lap. He rushed in, momentarily taken aback by John’s presence, turning to his parents and asking, “What happened? Have you heard anything yet?”

He hadn’t even acknowledged Carrie at all, and it infuriated her. How could he disregard her so easily? Carrie looked at her father, whom she hadn’t seen or spoken to in two months, and said, “No. We just know that she was in a car accident. We’ve been waiting,” Carrie said quietly in the hopes of keeping Brady drowsy. She’d almost gotten him to sleep.

Roman watched his daughter rock John’s baby with growing resentment. Glancing over at John, he asked, “What are you doing here?” John didn’t even respond. He just sat there, feeling destroyed, in the uncomfortable hospital chair, with his head in his hands. He didn’t have time for Roman’s juvenile antics, when the thought of losing Marlena had taken over his mind. So, he just continued to sit there, and ignored him.

“I called him,” Carrie answered for him, practically hissing at her father. “I asked him to be here…for me. For Marlena…we couldn’t call you, could we?”

Roman stared at his daughter for a moment, taken aback. He saw rage, and sadness simmering in her eyes, and he said slowly, “Carrie I was on a case…you know that.” He glanced at John again, who had finally lifted his head, and was looking at him. Roman could tell that the man had been crying.

Carrie handed Brady to her grandmother gently, grabbed her fathers’ arm, and pulled him to a hallway on the other side of the waiting area, “You left, and didn’t even tell me! You left Marlena a note! A note! Two months you’re gone, and you show up now? You have no right to be angry that John is here, when you haven’t paid any of us any mind for two months!”  Carrie looked at her father, and saw it in his face, when it finally dawned on him how angry she was. “You abandoned us…and if I called John, so what? He’s the only person we had to depend on for the last two months.”

“He’s not your father, Carrie! I am,” Roman sputtered.

“Then act like it,” she muttered walking away from him. She stopped, and turned to Roman quickly, saying, “John’s here for me…and Marlena. Don’t start a fight.”

Just as Roman returned to the group, Marlena’s doctor came out to speak with them. Roman rushes up to him, “How is she doctor?”

“She’s going to be alright, isn’t she?” Carrie asked. She grabbed John’s hand tightly in hers, as he stood behind her, rubbing his other hand over her shoulder in soft reassurance. 

John flashed back to when he had to tell Carrie that Marlena had ‘died’. Leaning forward, he said as quietly as he could, “She’s gonna pull through this Punkin’.”

The doctor looked around the people standing there, and addressed them as a group, “We’re going to watch her carefully. She has a minor concussion, nothing serious…but why didn’t somebody tell me Dr. Evans was pregnant?”

“Pregnant?” Roman says in shock. He stands there, immobile for a moment. He turns slowly to see John, holding Carrie’s hand, and Roman knows. It’s John’s baby. Carrie looks at John too, with worry on her face, and Roman realizes…she knows it’s John’s baby, too. He says quietly to John and Carrie, his voice seething with anger, “You both know this isn’t my baby.”

My baby. John doesn’t even realize that in a moment his face went from being tense, to having the softest expression, but everyone around him does. My baby with Marlena. Shawn and Caroline look at each other with growing concern.

“Not yer baby? Son, she’s yer wife,” Shawn says trying to stop a potential situation from escalating. He knew where this was going, hell, he’d been through it himself. He’d watched John over the last two hours. His reaction to her car accident, his panic upon arrival, and his silence as they waited. Shawn wasn’t stupid. So he needed to head off the potential storm that sometimes came with Roman’s rage. The last thing they needed was one of Roman’s explosive episodes in the middle of the hospital emergency room.

Caroline watches everyone for a brief moment, and understands almost instantly. This baby that Marlena is pregnant with is John’s baby, and Roman knows it. This was a complication, but not the end of the world. They could figure this out as a family. Just as she’s about to speak, Roman says in low tones to John, “I haven’t made love to my wife since the beginning of October. It’s the middle of March now…it’s not… my… baby.” The silence was deafening.

“Roman…” Caroline started to say, placing her hand softly on her sons arm.

He turned abruptly, jerking away from her, and facing the doctor, saying, “Does she look six months pregnant?”

The doctor, caught off guard by the question, stumbles over his words a little as he says, “No, but, um, well…let me see…” He starts flipping through some papers on his clipboard nervously, finally clears his throat and answers, “Her HCG levels indicate that she’s approximately 8 – 10 weeks along…but without an ultrasound…” He coughs again nervously. He quickly decides, based on the tension surrounding him, that this is a family matter, that doesn’t concern him, and he moves to extricate himself, saying, “I’m going to get back to Dr. Evans now. I’ll check back in with you later, when I know more.”

Roman looks at John, stepping closer to him, saying in a low menacing tone, “You and I both know it’s yours, John. You think I don’t know? The late night phone calls? I know. She calls for you in her f*cking sleep! You know what she says? She says, ‘We can’t do this, John…’. So, I f*cking know. She wouldn’t sleep with just anyone…she’s not like that! It can only be you!”

John couldn’t tell if Roman was going to fly into a rage, or handle this calmly. With Roman being so unpredictable since his return, it could go either way. John tells him in soft tones, “Roman, listen, she wanted to tell you. She’s been waiting for you to come home. She had no way to contact you,” John told him.

“When? When did it happen? How long have you been having sex with my wife?” Roman said quietly, his fists clenched, barely holding his rage in.

John paused, considering whether or not to answer him, but ultimately decided that, to keep Roman from becoming a complete train wreck right now, he needed to be honest…without too many details. “The night you left. She was going to tell you, but she came home to a note, and hasn’t heard from you since,” John answered. 

“The night you said you were leaving? Well, you didn’t f*cking leave did you?” Roman said as his voice was rising.

John noticed that they were starting to attract attention, and he said, “Roman, you will not do anything to embarrass, or shame Marlena publicly right now. We can discuss this later, in private, but do not slander her character right now, to suit your own pride!”

“Roman, son, come on…let’s go for a walk…” Shawn said to him, trying to get his attention.

Caroline, still holding Brady, says, “Roman, listen to your father…please.”

He stares at his mother, with John’s son in her arms, saying, “He stole my whole f*cking life, Ma! I came home to find, that everyone I loved thought he was me…and when I got it all back? None of it was the same! None of it…and you want me to go for a walk, while the man who’s screwing my wife sits here waiting for news?” Roman was trembling with rage, “Where the f*ck do I fit in, ma? Where the f*ck do I fit in?” He turned, and walked away with his father.

Caroline turned to John. “John…” she says.

“It’s my baby, Caroline,” John said sitting back down in the plastic waiting room chair. He dropped his head back into his hands, “It’s my baby, and G-d this is such a mess, but…” he looks up at her, and continues, “…I’m not sorry. I can’t be sorry. She’s been so upset for the last two months. She waited for him to call, she called Abe trying to get ahold of Roman…he never contacted her…”

“Did you know? About the baby?” she asked him.

“No, I don’t think Doc knew either…” he said slowly, thinking. “But, maybe…She called me earlier. She said she had to speak with me about something, and asked if could she come to the loft to see me. I think she was on the way over to see me, when she was hit.” He ran his hand roughly through his hair in frustration, “When Carrie called, I thought it was Doc, saying she was running late, or something.” John stared at his son in Caroline’s arms. Brady was barely ten months old. In less than a year he’d married, had a baby, and become a widower. John stood and swept his large hand over his sons soft brown hair. He was about to become a father again.

He started pacing the waiting room, “I need to see her.”

Carrie approached the man she considered to be her father. She wasn’t going to express it now, but a baby…John and Marlena’s baby, was exciting. It certainly complicated things, but it was a baby…she couldn’t ever be sad or angry about that. She remembered, as a little girl, wishing for them to have a brother or sister for her, Sami, and Eric. She considered Brady to be her little brother. John needed love, and support right now, and she could give him that, while he tried to sort this out. “Dad, do you want me to take Brady to the loft? I don’t mind…and maybe you can call me when you know something? It could be awhile,” Carrie suggested. 

“You sure, Punkin’? It would be great if you could,” John reached for Carrie wrapping her in his arms tightly. “You are such an amazing kid, you know that?”

~ ~ ~ ~

Roman watched John enter Marlena’s cubicle in the emergency room. He had been planning to talk to her, but he honestly had no idea what he would say anyway. He was angry, and bitter at her…for loving John. He wanted to beat the sh*t out of John…for stealing his life, his kids, his job, and his family. The problem was, that in the last year, Roman had not been given any reason to distrust John…until this. Two parts of his brain were at war with each other. One side was irrationally angry at John, when the person he should hate was Stefano DiMera. He was the one responsible for stealing their lives, twisting them, and manipulating them, until they found themselves in their current predicament. That side of his brain also saw John as an extension of Stefano, sent to Salem to disrupt their lives and therefore unable to be trusted. The other side saw the situation as it was, someone was going to get hurt. It was inevitable. Marlena could not be married to two men, she couldn’t be in love with two men, and Roman knew…she was in love with one man…John. He had refused to acknowledge the truth of it from the beginning, and he’d been cheating on Marlena daily, for two months. He knew they both cheated, but Roman felt, that what he was doing was much worse. He didn’t love Taylor McCall, she was convenient…but Marlena, she loved John, he was sure of it. He walked close to the curtain and listened, because he had a strong feeling that what he heard, would make his decision for him.

Marlena smiled at John when he entered the curtained area of the Emergency Room. The tension he’s been holding in his body for the the last few hours finally released a little. “G-d, Doc! I was so worried!” he said rushing to her side. He pulled the stool up to the side of her bed, and sat as close to her as he could, reaching for her hand, kissing it softly. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I’m fine, I hit my head…but otherwise, everything is fine. They kept me a little longer, to monitor my blood pressure and to check, the…um…did they tell you?” she asked him.

John ran his palm over her face lovingly, “Yeah they told me. You’re having my baby, Lady.”

“I am,” she said with a small smile. “I was on my way to tell you, when I was in the accident.”

“Carrie called me,” he said touching her face adoringly. “She was so scared…we were both scared. The thought of losing you again…I think it would kill me. When I thought you’d died before, when Orpheus had you, it broke me…but then I had this hope in me that you were alive, and I tracked you down, only to lose you again for five years. I just-I couldn’t handle that again, I couldn’t.”

“John, honey, don’t cry…please. I’m here…”

“Do you remember the night you came back to Salem, after all those years?” he asked her quietly.

“I do.”

“It was as if some mysterious force was directing me to that pier. No, actually, it was compelling me to go there. I couldn’t really explain, I just felt it. I’d never felt it before…or since,” John said, rubbing his lips softly over Marlena’s forehead. “I didn’t have any idea what I was looking for that night, and I found you. I can still remember the moment that I turned around, and I saw you standing there. It was like I was looking at a vision. I couldn’t believe you were real…in fact, I had to touch you, just to make sure you were were real. And in that second, time stopped, with everything else that was going on in my life at that moment, the world just went away…and once again, it was just you and me, together once again…”

“I love you so much, John,” Marlena whispered. “So, so, much.”

“This past year has been so hard. I can’t give you up again…and tonight when I thought I might lose you, I was broken. I’ve lost too much, Doc. You, the kids, my job, ma and pop, and Isabella…G-d, Isabella too,” John said crying into her, as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “I couldn’t bear it.”

“You don’t have to, you don’t have to…” she said wiping the tears from his face. “We’ll figure this out.”

Roman stepped away from the cubicle, and walked away. He needed to think.

~ ~ ~ ~

As John got Marlena settled into her bed. Sitting on the edge, beside her, he asked her again, “You’re sure you don’t want to stay at the loft? You know, I’m worried. Roman was really angry earlier.”

“I can’t John. I need to be here when he comes home. I have to do this…I have to, I have to…” she says holding his hand tightly. “He might yell, curse…possibly throw some things, but he won’t hurt me John. He won’t.”

“I love you so much. You know that right?”

“I do,” she said smiling at him. “You know…before I was taken away for five years, I wanted another baby with you.”

“Doc, you thought I was Roman, you already had two babies with me…”

“I know that, but the feeling was different. I had this sense of not being fulfilled,” she told him softly. “A feeling of needing another child with you, and I’ve wondered if maybe I knew. Maybe not consciously, but subconsciously…did I know you weren’t Roman?”

“I think I felt something similar, I wanted another baby with you too, so that I could remember…the pregnancy, the process, the birth. I didn’t remember any of that with the twins, and I felt like I was missing something,” John said. “I wanted that memory…with you. When we thought you’d died, I knew I’d never have that.”

Carrie knocked on the bedroom door, and poked her head in, “Dad?”

“Yeah, Punkin’?”

“I dropped Brady with Grandma at the pub, and well, I was thinking you better go before my other dad gets home,” she says with a cheeky smirk. “That might not play out so well…and it could get kinda awkward.”

“You’re right. I’m leaving,” he said with a laugh, standing up from the edge of the bed. “Doc, I’m going to call you later, and check on you. I love you, woman,” he said kissing her on the cheek, and then on her mouth.

“I love you, too,” she whispered watching him leave the room.

“Marlena, I have to tell you something,” Carrie said quietly. “I knew…about you and Dad. I knew…”

Marlena was confused over what Carrie was talking about. “You knew about what Carrie?”

“You and Dad…I went to the plane the night he was going to leave. I heard you talking, but I left…and then once in the kitchen, downstairs, I heard you talking…I left then too. But I knew, that you love him. I knew that you might have, um, on the plane…” Carrie was blushing and unsure of how to proceed, but she wanted to get this out. “I’m happy about the baby. I’m not disappointed in you.”

Marlena remembered the conversation in the kitchen with John, when she said Carrie and Roman would be disappointed in her. Marlena looked at Carrie, seeing her with the eyes of a mother whose child is grown for probably the first time. Carrie wasn’t upset with her, or angry and disappointed. Marlena felt relief. She wanted to be free to feel joy over this baby. She smiled at Carrie softly, saying, “This baby is so wanted, and so loved. Thank you.”

Carrie and Marlena heard the door open downstairs, and knew that Roman was home. Carrie glanced at Marlena questioningly, but Marlena just nodded at her, so Carrie left. At the bottom of the stairs, she encountered her father. Carrie said to him, “Don’t blame her for this. Don’t shame her. Just let her go. Let her be happy, because Stefano has taken so much from all three of you…but he, well he accidentally gave them this didn’t he?”

Roman stared at his daughter in awe for a moment. “I came home after seven years, and expected a little girl. I’ve never treated you like the young woman you became when I was gone. I’m sorry for that. I held all this anger, and rage at John…when I know he’s responsible for how wonderful you turned out,” Roman told her. “I understand the situation. I’m angry. I’m not going to lie, but I understand…I do. I think I knew this was coming.”

“Are you staying after you talk? Or going to the pub?”

“I’m probably going to go to the pub tonight. Then tomorrow I have to head back, and finish this undercover case I’ve got going on.”

“Okay, I’m going to stay in my old room tonight, then. The doctor said someone should be with her for a couple days,” Carrie said.

Roman nodded, touching his daughter’s face softly, and walking upstairs to talk to his wife. Roman wasn’t sure how people went about having conversations to end their marriages. Maybe they raged at each other, placing blame at the others persons feet. Maybe they cried, and mourned what they were losing, but walked away anyway. All he knew was that his marriage was over. They had both made mistakes, and handled it poorly, for sure, but Roman found that the bitterness, and the rage he had been holding onto since his return, had left him after he heard John speak to Marlena, as if the thought of losing her might kill him. He had spent the last year caught up in his own emotions of loss, guilt, and anger…never once trying to even learn or understand what the people in his life had been through during his absence.

He’d raged at his mother when he’d learned of her affair with Victor and Bo’s parentage. He’d been angry that the twins didn’t immediately embrace him, without trying to understand how scared they must have been. He’d had expectations of Carrie that were impossible for her to manage, since he hadn’t even raised her…and Marlena…the wife he’d left behind, was not the woman he’d returned to. She’d been through too much. He’d spent the last few hours with his father, asking questions, and listening for the first time since his return. 

John had been through the gauntlet for Marlena, he knew that much. His father told him about West Virginia, the KGB, Orpheus’ grudge against John (thinking he was Roman), the house bombing, and the fact that John lost Marlena not once, but three times – twice thinking her dead, and finally watching her walk away with the real Roman Brady. Roman was forced to face, and understand that John lost it all, and walked away without a fight. He gave it all up, because it wasn’t his, and Roman, in his bitterness, had refused to even allow him access to the twins. He had iced him out with his family. Why did it take overhearing a conversation between his wife and John to finally make him listen? 

So, when Roman opened the door to the bedroom he shared with his wife, and walked in to have a conversation about what had happened between them, and where it was going, he did so with sadness…but without anger, “Hey, Doc.”

~ ~ ~ ~

It was a week later, when John decided he couldn’t wait anymore. Marlena hadn’t called him, and when he fished for information with Carrie, she said both of her parents were being tight lipped about what had happened. So, as a robe clad Marlena answered the door, John came walking in saying, “You waited too long again, Doc. Why didn’t you call me?”

“I-I, well, I thought it might be better to wait until Roman had moved all of his things out,” she said.

“Too long,” he said kissing her lips soundly, and walking towards the kitchen. “I’m here to make pancakes.”

“I don’t know if I have any—”

“—You do. I had Carrie check.”

“I do? Huh…” she said following him into the kitchen. “I have been wanting some pancakes.”

“So, let’s talk. How did everything go with Roman?” John asked her, as he began moving around the kitchen, getting what he needed together for the pancakes. 

While John and Marlena talked in the kitchen, they were unaware that Roman had entered the house to gather up the last of his things. Hearing voices, Roman intended to announce his presence, until he realized it was Marlena and John. He felt that old twinge of jealousy, and pushed it down. His conversation with Marlena a week ago had left him feeling as if he didn’t even know her. His wife was a stranger that he had never even bothered to get to know, simply because he’d expected her to be the same woman he’d been taken from seven years earlier. His refusal to learn who she became was one of the reasons he’d lost her. 

Marlena looked at John for a moment and told him, “He said he’d been having an affair. For two months…with Taylor McCall. She’s the one he was doing the undercover case with.”

“Sh*t, Doc. Really?”

“I was surprised, at first, because it seemed so out of character for him, but you know what? Me having an affair seems really out of character, too,” she said quietly. “I was hurt, but not for the reason you might think. I was hurt, partly because he doesn’t even care for her…not the way I care for you. I want him to be happy, to find someone, but the way he explained it…well it hurt,” she said as a tear slid down her cheek.

“What did he say to you?” John asked her, as he felt himself getting angry.

“Nothing really mean, John. It was more of an insinuation,” Marlena said while she remembered Roman’s words, ‘exciting’, ‘new’, ‘different’.

“Doc?”

“Well, um, he implied that our sex life had always been rather, um…mundane,” she said quietly.

“Mundane? Doc! Are you f*cking kidding me?” John practically roared. He moved to where she sat, and kneeled down before her. “Baby, sex with you…making love to you, well, that’s anything but mundane.” John runs his hands up her legs, finally reaching the tie to her robe, slowly undoing the knot. “Do you remember that time in Stockholm. I had you pushed against the window. It turned you on. You were so f*cking wet for me, even though you were worried someone might see. Baby, you were dripping,” John told her as he pushed her knees apart, and pulled her nightgown up over her thighs.

“G-d, John…stop! We can’t do this…someone could walk in…” Marlena gasped, even as he body betrayed her, and wanted more.

“What about that time in your office bathroom? Against the sink?” He said roughly, pushing her thighs wide. “Was that mundane? Watching your breasts swing in the mirror while you tried not to scream? I don’t think so, Doc.”

Roman was so confused. The person John was describing was not the Marlena he knew, and it had him questioning how he had lived his whole life, making assumptions without all of the facts. He stood at the kitchen door listening to Marlena’s soft gasps, and pants, and even without the visual input…he knew John was doing something sexual to her. Then he heard John say, “Open your legs for me…wide. I want to see your p*ssy…wider, Doc.”

“Oh, G-d, John! What if someone comes home?” she gasped, her eyes looking drowsy with arousal. John moved across the kitchen, grabbing the maple syrup, and Marlena’s eyes opened a bit more in apprehension, “John…what are you doing?”

“Doc, I’m about to prove that sex with you, making love to you…is not mundane,” he stood over her, staring at her open legs, and her wet, glistening core. “I want to taste you so bad…but first…”

Marlena moaned loudly as warm syrup dribbled over her pussy, “Oh…you’re…oh…what a mess…”

John laughed softly. “I f*cking love it when you’re all prim and proper,” he said, right before he dove into her p*ssy like he was a starving man.

Marlena threw her head back, and shouted, “Oh, f*ck!”

Roman, his own dick throbbing, left the house in shock. Who was that woman in the kitchen? Because while it certainly sounded like Marlena…Roman could not seem to reconcile her, with the Marlena he thought he knew. If she was capable of that, why had their sex never been that? Not that he wanted to think on it too deeply, but Roman was able to acknowledge that John pushed her boundaries. John made her do things that made her uncomfortable, but still turned her on. Roman had always treated her like she was fragile, breakable. Maybe it’s because when he first came into her life she was fragile. She was breakable…but she certainly wasn’t anymore.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

John took Marlena and Carrie to Colorado to get the twinners the first week of June. They returned just in time for a summer full of baseball, and softball. Marlena was happy that they could start Second Grade back in Salem. She had her children back, and the rest would fall into place. 

Their adjustment with Roman took some time, and while Marlena noticed that Roman sometimes got frustrated with their attachment to John, he seemed to be working through it. Roman had accepted that the twins still called John, ‘Dad’. Carrie did too. Eric and Sami called Roman, ‘Pop’. Towards the end of the summer, Roman started taking them for occasional overnights, and finally every other weekend. Sometimes when Roman took the twins for dinner or a trip to the zoo, he ended up taking Brady too, simply because Brady wanted to go with Pop, just like Sami and Eric did. Marlena sometimes reflected on the odd nature of their blended family, but they somehow made it work. 

Roman had briefly mentioned, once in passing, that he had started therapy, but he never mentioned it again. Marlena didn’t pry, but she did notice changes in how he spoke to people, and the types of questions he asked. He seemed calmer, more at peace with himself. He’d allowed Marlena to keep the house. It was easier that way, since she had primary custody of the twins. 

Once her divorce was finalized from Roman, Marlena and John had a small backyard wedding ceremony with the kids, and a small gathering of friends. By then, Marlena was nearing eight months pregnant, and she felt like she was huge, but John had a way of making her feel beautiful all of the time. 

On Tuesday, October 19, 1993, while they celebrated Sami and Eric’s ninth birthday at the Brady Pub…Marlena’s water broke, and the Brady family descended on the hospital en mass. Almost five hours later they all got to meet Isabella Black, the newest sister to Carrie, Sami, Eric, and Brady.