Sami finds Marlena’s high school journal and learns she had a high school love. Will she try and get her back with him?
‘We took a late night walk on the pier, the wind blew towards my direction and his scent filled my nose and I couldn’t help but be aroused. He knew it too as I looked up at him and saw the smile that makes my heart melt, across his face. He knows what I am thinking. He knows me better than I know myself.’
Sami sat on her Momma’s bedroom floor reading the middle of a journal in her Momma’s hand writing. She was looking for a year book with her Momma’s high school picture for a school project and came across her journal. Not wanting to read it but thinking she could and put it back before her mother knew, she ran to her room and started to read the page turner.
‘There we were alone yet I felt like we were in the public eye. Everyone talks about everyone in high school. It isn’t like we were hiding but we wanted to be alone. I don’t know why, I just like having him to myself.’
“Sami, time to get ready for dinner” Carrie said as she knocked on Sami’s door. Out of reflex, Sami closed the book and put it under her bedspread. “Okay, be right down” Sami said praying Carrie wouldn’t walk in.
Sitting at the table with Eric, Carrie and her Mom, Sami couldn’t help but wonder when her Momma wrote the journal. Looking at her Momma ‘I wonder who this man was’ she thought to herself. Sami thought she was close with her Mom yet she didn’t know she loved anyone else but her Dad. “So what’s new with you Sami? Have any plans this weekend?” Marlena asked as she placed a veggie on her fork. Startled “oh me? Oh, no not really. Pretty low key this weekend.” Marlena looked at Sami “oh my dearest daughter, you are a teenager with no plans? That doesn’t happen” Marlena said with a curious smile. “It’s true, I like weekends like that therefore if something comes up, I don’t have to cancel anything b/c I am open ya know?” Giving her daughter a questioned look “well okay then” Marlena said.
‘He grabbed my hand today and pulled me out of the party. I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t going to stop him. Standing in the hallway he pinned me against the wall “you have to get out of my mind b/c you are all I think about” he said to me then kissed me. I could’ve died right there. I wasn’t sure if he was complaining or mad or if that was a pickup line. I looked at his eyes while I could feel my heartbeat in my lips. “I will kiss you again” he said before he pulled me back into the party. I don’t know how I got home b/c that is the only moment I remember.’
“I can’t believe I’m reading this” Sami said to herself. The house was quite as Eric and Carrie were gone and Marlena was asleep. “Learning about a love my Mom had, I wish I could tell someone I’m reading this but Momma would kill me.”
‘The bleachers were packed with people watching the game. It was my first baseball game. Last home game of the season and the girls wanted to go so I thought why not. There is something about a man in baseball pants and his ass was perfect. He pitched so I was able to look at it a lot. Trying not to make it obvious, he busted me when he hit a foul ball and I didn’t move for safety b/c I was glued to him. Whoops. After we won, we all ran out on the field. He picked me up and lifted me towards the clouds. I couldn’t believe it. In front of everyone!’
“My Mom went to a baseball game? I just can’t picture it” Sami said laughing to herself. Flipping through the pages of her mother’s year book, she stopped at the baseball team. “There were a lot of cute guys on the team” she said with a smile. “To bad the positions played weren’t listed” she thought to herself.
“Sami honey, would you like some breakfast?” Sami sat up holding her Mother’s journal to her chest. “I fell asleep” she said looking around. “Oh um, sure Mom. I’ll be down in a bit” Sami said. Looking down at the journal, “that’s twice now. I should go somewhere else and read this.”
“Carrie have you noticed anything odd with your sister?” Marlena asked while sitting in the living room flipping through a patient’s file. “Marlena Sami is odd herself” Carrie said laughing while tossing a magazine on the coffee table. Walking towards Marlena “why do you ask?” she said. “She is at the library working on school work.” “On the weekend? That is odd even for her” Carrie said crossing her arms. “I can keep an eye on her” Carrie said then walked towards her room. Marlena said with a smile on her face. “Thank you.”
‘He picked me up for school today in his Jeep and held my hand on my lap the whole way. I think we are a couple now. He is all I think about. The way his hair blew in the wind with the top off, he is perfect. His pre summer tan, the way his arms looked in the black shirt he wore and his eyes, I can’t get over his eyes. He does this thing with his brow that makes me laugh and he knows it. When we got the school he opened my door for me and held my head and kissed me, in front of everyone. It was our first real public kiss. I couldn’t believe it. He was the school jock, everyone knew him and all the girls wanted him and he was kissing me. Stupid me I asked why he kissed me and he said “I told you I would do that again” then he smiled and nodded for us to walk to school while he put his hand in the back pocket of my pants. I just wanted to stare at him all day. People watched us but we just kept on walking.’
“What the hell are you doing here” Lucas asked as he slammed his hands on the table Sami was sitting at. Looking up from the journal while placing it on her chest “I could ask you the same thing” she said. “I’m getting a coffee for Carrie” he said sitting next to Sami. “I didn’t think you knew where the library was” he said. “I didn’t think you were going to kiss Carrie’s ass anymore” Sami said putting a book mark in the journal. “I’m not, she is here and just asked me to get her a coffee while she went and looked for a book.” Sitting up straight “Carrie is here? Can’t I get any privacy?” “What’s your deal Sami?” Lucas said looking at the book Sami was reading. “Nothing, nothing, where is Carrie?” Sami said looking around. “I’m right here, what’s up?” Carrie said walking up behind Sami and Lucas. Looking up at Carrie “Lucas said he was getting you a coffee. I was just wondering where you were” Sami said. Looking at the books in front of Sami “where did you get that year book?” Carrie said lifting Marlena’s book. “It was in Mom’s closet. I have a project and I thought it would be cool to put some of her high school pics with mine ya know.” Sami said still holding the journal to her chest. “That would be cool. I would love to help ya with that” Carrie said. “Okay, I will let you know if I need help. Thanks Carrie” Sami said looking up at Carrie.
‘As I write in this journal tonight, I am wearing his letterman’s jacket. He ditched practice tonight and took me to the pier and gave it to me. He said he wanted everyone to know I was with him can you believe that? It smells like him. I think I might sleep in it.’
“Letterman’s jacket? No way” Sami said sinking in the chair in her room. She left the library once she realized Carrie and Lucas weren’t going to leave her alone.
‘It wasn’t even planned but we matched today. He actually pointed it out. I wish we had a picture of ourselves today as he held me on the beach. We laughed and talked. He is so smart. He wants to plan a party on the beach before school is out. I don’t want to think about it b/c I don’t know what will happen to us. Maybe I should ask him.’
‘I have been on a natural high the past few days. He didn’t leave my side at graduation and asked me to go to all the open houses with him. We are a true couple now. His friends were calling me his girlfriend and he wouldn’t object. I smile all the time. I love him.’
“Wow Mom!” Sami said. “I’m going to ask who her first love was. This is good stuff” Sami said jumping off her bed and running out of her room.
Finding her Mom on the phone, she walked past her to the kitchen. “Hi Mom” Sami said waving. “Hi baby girl” Marlena said holding her hand over the receiver. “Well Laura, I’m going to let you go. Sami finally came out of hibernation” Marlena said laughing. Hanging up the phone “what cha doing?” Marlena said walking towards Sami. Sami sat at the table “Mom I have a question and please don’t ask me a bunch of questions back okay.” Sitting across from Sami “okay” Marlena said. “How did you know you were in love in high school?” Marlena sat frozen. “What do you mean?” “Mom, you agreed not to ask questions back” Sami said. “Oh right” Marlena said looking at her hands. Memories came flooding back into her mind. Smiling and feeling herself blush “well, for me, I really liked a guy who showed he cared for me and wanted to be with me and was smart, good looking and loved me back” Marlena said. Sami tried to find more in her Momma’s eyes. “but how did you know? Was there a moment? Was it something he said? Did you say it first?” Sami asked. Looking up at Sami with watery eyes “where are these questions coming from? Do you like someone?” Marlena asked. Sami sat back “not really, I was just wondering for when the time came. Sorry, I didn’t mean to ask so many questions.” Seeing her mother wipe a tear from her eyes “what was his name?” Marlena looked up at Sami “it doesn’t really matter anymore honey. It was a long time ago.” “Mom, you are crying so obviously something happened” Sami said reaching for her mother’s hands. “Let’s just say you never forget your first love” Marlena said with a smile and stood up and walked towards the kitchen. ‘Oh man, she still loves him’ Sami said under her breathe.
‘I’m writing you in a bed covered with white blankets that feel like cotton and a view that makes it seem like heaven. He rented out a beach house for the weekend. Total surprise to me! He made me feel like a queen last night. I am still on my natural high. Who am I kidding, I’m always on a high with him. He told me he loves me last night and I told him. We made love for hours. I’m feeling it today as I got up to get my journal. He is napping beside me and is so fine with no shirt on. All of him is fine and let me tell you, his ass is even better bare then in the baseball pants.’
“Oh my gosh Mom. I hope he didn’t break her heart. I’m worried after reading her so emotional.”
‘This summer if flying by. We have spent every moment together. We went to a Dodgers game with his friends Abe and Steve. He is so cute when he is with his friends. He asked me what I would want to do this summer and I just want to be with him. He is making me the happiest.’
“I just can’t get over my Mom going to baseball games.” Sami said shaking her head.
‘I’m writing again in the blanket of cotton. I think this is our get-a-way place. We both love it here. I can see the beach as I lay here next to him. I’m a little worried tho b/c he told me he has a baseball scholarship and he wants me to go with him to pursue his dream. I have already enrolled in college to study psychology which has been my dream. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose him.’
“Sami honey, can we talk for a moment?” Marlena asked through Sami’s door. Running around her room trying to hide the journal “yeah hang on” she yelled. Opening the door “everything okay?” Marlena asked seeing Sami shut her closet door. ‘I was at a good part’ Sami thought to herself. “Yeah, why do you ask?” Marlena looked at Sami in question “no reason. Listen,” she said sitting on Sami’s bed “I was looking for a book of mine since you brought up high school and Carrie said you might have it. Do you have my year book?” Sami walked over to her bag “yeah, I’m sorry I took it without asking. We are doing a project at school and I thought it would be cool to have pics of you and me in it.” She handed it to Marlena and Marlena smiled feeling her past emotions flood her again. Sami sat by her Mom “something happened with you in high school didn’t it?” Sami asked wrapping her arm around her mom. Marlena looked at Sami with tears rolling down her face. “I haven’t thought about him in a while.” “I’m sorry Mom. I didn’t mean to upset you” Sami said hugging her Mom. “You didn’t honey. You took me by surprise that’s for sure.” Marlena opened her book. “He was the star of all sports and everyone loved him” she continued flipping through her book. “Our relationship was short lived but the best while it lasted.” She stopped at the baseball section of the year book and paused. She could feel the lump in her throat as the love for him filled her heart. “Did Dad know about him?” Sami asked. Marlena looked at Sami with red eyes and shook her head no. “I never talked about John with anyone b/c it causes heartache. This is the first time in a long time.” Sami looked down at the year book and searched for his name. Finding it, she looked at the picture “damn he is hot Mom” Sami said. Marlena looked back up at Sami “excuse me” she said sitting back. “I mean, he is cute.” Marlena looked back towards the book for a moment and closed it “yes he was in so many ways” Marlena said standing up. Walking towards the door she stopped and looked back at Sami “please don’t mention this to anyone” she said with a slight smile as her heart was breaking. Sami smiled “I won’t.” Marlena smiled back and turned towards the door again “Mom wait, one more question” Sami said stopping her. Marlena turned “what would you do if you saw him today?” Marlena held the year book close to her chest “I wouldn’t let him go” she said and walked out of the room. Sami looked towards her closet while sitting on her bed “I have to finish her journal and find John.”
‘Ever have one of those moments you want to freeze b/c you are so happy and want it to last? I had one of those today. I was sitting on the beach watching the boys play football and John fell over some girls in the crowd while going for a catch. They giggled and I could tell they were flirting with him. He threw the football back and picked me up over his shoulders and ran to the girls and said ‘have you ladies seen my hot girlfriend’ and dipped me into a deep kiss. I couldn’t believe he did it. I felt like I won highest trophy out there b/c he was mine.’
‘Our time together is growing short. I try not to think of it and I think he does too. We haven’t left our cotton blanket bed all day. We have learned our ticklish spots on our bodies. He is so cute when he laughs hard. I love him so.’
‘We took a late night walk on the pier, the wind blew towards my direction and his scent filled my nose and I couldn’t help but be aroused. He knew it too as I looked up at him and saw the smile that makes my heart melt across his face. He knows what I am thinking. He knows me better than I know myself.’
Walking down the stairs, Sami noticed her Momma sitting on the couch with her back to her. She slowly walked up to her “Mom you okay?” Sami asked. Shaking her head no, Sami sat next to Marlena. “I’m sorry for upsetting you Mom. I didn’t mean to” Sami said. “Oh honey, you didn’t upset me. I’m just remembering. They are not all sad tears.” Sami smiled “would you like to share some?” Marlena looked up at Sami. Wiping her tears she looked at her hands “well let’s see. He did the sweetest things like at graduation; he put a note under my cap that said ‘I will be watching your cute …’” looking back at Sami “you probably don’t want to hear about that.” Sami laughed and sat back in the couch. “Let’s see he look me to the beach a lot and one time he chased the seagulls b/c they took my chip. He ended up tripping and falling face first in the sand” Marlena made to motion of a ‘splat’. Sami and Marlena laughed. “There was a time I thought we were going to get in trouble b/c he had a Jeep and we pulled in right next to the principal and he turned his radio up and started bobbing his head to the music. I could read the principal’s lips while he told John to turn it down and he never did.” Sami put her hand on Marlena’s “he sounds fun.” “Oh he was. He was so much fun. Every day with him was different and never a dull moment.” “Does anyone know where he is now?” Sami asked. Marlena turned at looked at Sami “I don’t know but I don’t ask. Steve might or Bo or Abe but I don’t know.” Standing up from the couch “I haven’t talked about him in so long” Marlena said and walked towards the kitchen.
‘We have rented the place with the cotton blankets and have been staying here for the past few nights. We hardly leave. We walk around naked and it feels so nice. We can’t keep our hands off each other. I feel like husband and wife here. I would marry him if he asked me.’
“Well no wonder. There is a chance her and my Dad wouldn’t have gotten married? Not that it would’ve mattered now seeing how they are already divorced.” Sami said looking towards her door while on her bed reading.
“This must be the day” Sami said as she noticed the drawing of the broken heart on the page.
‘I am writing sitting in my bedroom of my parent’s house. I missed him. I was late. I can’t believe I missed him. He left the itinerary on the nightstand of our bed and I didn’t get to the airport in time. I would’ve gone with him. I would’ve changed all my dreams b/c I wanted him more than anything. Now he is gone and it is my entire fault.’
Sami sat up from her bed “no way, she tried to keep him” she said looking towards her door again. I have to find him.
“Uncle Bo, please you have to tell me where I can find John” Sami said chasing Bo around the police station. “How do you know about him anyway” Bo asked with his arm crossed holding a file. “That doesn’t matter.” “I haven’t talked to him in a long time” Bo said walking into his office. “Well please tell me what you have. I’m begging Uncle Bo” Sami said walking behind him. Bo grabbed a book from his desk and wrote down a number. “Does your Mom know you are doing this?” Bo asked handing Sami the number. “No, thanks Uncle Bo” Sami said and ran out of the office.
“Where is Mom?” Sami asked seeing Eric and Carrie at the table. “She’s out?” Eric said not looking up. “Out where?” Sami asked. Carrie looked up at Sami “I don’t know but she isn’t here why?” “Where is the phone? I have to make a phone call” Sami said searching the house. “Sami what is wrong with you?” Carrie said standing up from the table. Stopping in her tracks “look, I have upset Mom and there is only one way I can fix it now I need the phone.” Eric stood from the table “so that is why she went to the cotton blanket place.” Sami turned and looked at Eric “what did you say? How did you know about that place?” “Mom goes there to think. She used to go there a lot when she and Dad would fight. I don’t know where it is but she comes back happier. I don’t think she has been there in a long time.” Sami looked at Carrie “do you know where this place is?” Carrie handed Sami the phone “no but the address is on the fridge and here is the phone.” Sami smiled and ran to the kitchen.
Standing on the patio, leaning against the railing looking out onto the beach “oh how I have missed this place” she said with a smile. Memories of her summer with him flashed before her eyes. Laughing at times, she remembered the moments they had there.
He slowly opened the door and looked around. He remembered the scent that warmed his heart. She was there and he knew it. Closing the door slowly, he lowered his bags and saw hers next to the sofa. He walked through the studio style beach house and saw her. She was a sight he had waiting forever for.
Marlena laughed out loud as she remembered the time John jumped over the railing nude to get a paper plate that had blown away and he kept falling due to the sand. Feeling her body react to the memory she lowered her head.
“How the hell could she of gotten more gorgeous then when we were teens?” John asked to himself. Slowly walking up behind her he tried to gather the words to say. It had been so long and his love for her only grew stronger.
“How can I love you more today than all those years ago?” Marlena said out loud.
“I ask myself the same thing” John said standing behind Marlena.
Marlena looked up with her mouth open and slowly turned around. Seeing the man she had loved and worshiped stand before her, her eyes filled with tears. Her heart was going to beat out of her chest and her knees where going to give out. “Wha… how… wher…” was all Marlena could say.
Walking slowly towards her “I got a call. I have thought about you every moment for all these years. I have dreamt of this moment. To see you, to touch your, to breathe you and to hear you.”
Marlena couldn’t move. “You’re here” she said.
“I’m here with you and I don’t want to leave you again. Ever” John said placing his hands on Marlena’s waste.
“I can’t believe this is happening” Marlena said looking into his blue eyes that matched the sea.
“Let me give you some proof” John said as he lowered his lips to hers. Feeling her blood flow through her body with his touch, it was a feeling she had missed. The heat from his mouth was making her melt. He held her into a hug which was also helping her stand. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close.
Separating for air “I will kiss you again” he said with a smile. Marlena’s tears were uncontrollable. “Why the tears?” he asked as he wiped some away. “You’re here” she said again. “I’m here” he said giving her lips a small kiss. “How did you know I was here? How did you know I bought this place?” Marlena said with her arms still around John’s neck. “I got a phone call out of the blue by your daughter. She seems feisty” John laughed. “She told me you would be here. She said you called it the cotton blanket place” John said with a smile. Looking around “I see where it gets the name.” Marlena smiled “she is feisty. I used to come here when my ex and I would get in arguments. Just a place to get away and think about you. You always made me feel better.” John raised his brow and Marlena laughed “you are so cute when you do that.” “Your ex?” John repeated Marlena. Marlena looked into John’s eyes. “Yes my ex” she answered. John lowered to his knee holding onto Marlena’s hand. With tears filling her eyes making it hard to see “what in the world are you doing?” she asked through crying. “I don’t want to lose you again. I have loved you for so many years and I want you mine forever. Marry me Marlena” John said looking up at Marlena holding his breathe. “Yes, of course I will marry you and I won’t ever let you go again.” John jumped up, held onto Marlena and spun her around. Giggling with excitement “you have made all my dreams come true” John said. “And you mine” Marlena said. “Take me to the cotton blankets?” Marlena asked. John picked her up slowly and carried her to the bed.
It didn’t take long before their clothes were removed and on the floor. “I have missed your body, your scent, your hypnotizing voice and your love” Marlena said finishing with a kiss on his lips. Sitting on his lap facing him she had her fingers intertwined through his hair. “I feel like a teenager again sitting with you like this” John said looking down at Marlena’s nude body. “Oh yeah, do you think you could jump the kitchen counter like you used to?” Marlena asked with a laugh. “Listen to you being cute” John said. “I have dreamt about this moment for so long” he continued. “I love you John” Marlena said looking into his eyes. “I have loved you for so many years.” “I love you too Marlena” John said pulling her in for a kiss.
Lying on their sides facing each other, Marlena had her leg over John’s waist as she could feel him moving in and out of her. Taking her on a trip of ecstasy she never thought making love to him would feel so good. They were on number two for love making and each time she felt alive, loved, wanted, intimate and cherished. He was the only man that made her feel that way. She could feel the moisture between their bodies they were creating. Smiling looking at his eyes that she feel for all those years ago “I have never loved you more” she said with every breath she had. John looked into her eyes and rolled her over onto her back. “I love you Marlena” he said while moving in and out of her. “You feel amazing” he said with his cotton mouth. Marlena held John’s arms as she felt she was coming close to her climax. Moving into her fast and hard, John put all this body weight on one arm and held Marlena’s leg up to his waist with his other arm. Moving in and out, he watched her face as he could feel she was close and he was too. “Do you like that?” he said. With a smile of pleasure, Marlena nodded licking her lips. “Let me” John said as he kissed Marlena. Moaning in enjoyment “don’t stop honey, don’t stop” Marlena said scratching her nails down John’s back. Together, they both released their passion for each other.
Holding each other as they lay in the cotton blankets, “would you like to take a shower?” John asked. “I don’t want to move from your arms. This is my favorite place” she said with her eyes closed feeling complete. “I will hold you forever Marlena.”
The Jarlena Journal 