Marlena has just seen and heard John praying about his feelings for her and his commitment to Kristen and the baby he believes is his. She is torn about telling him what she knows of Kristen’s true nature, but also realizes John loves and trusts the other woman and she doesn’t want to hurt him. In their conversation, the Priest had indicated that the Catholic Church would still consider the marriage valid; therefore, John would be forced to choose between breaking tradition or staying in a loveless marriage, once he knew what the woman was really like. ‘Maybe she’ll change if she thinks I’m no longer a threat to her happiness with John and their baby,’ Marlena says in the privacy of her mind, trying to convince herself that letting go is what’s best for John. Somewhere deep inside she knows her thinking is wrong, but for some reason she doesn’t really understand she feels she cannot tell him the truth as she knows it about Kristen. As she considers all of the ramifications of their situation, she makes a decision about her own future and leaves the sanctuary to make all the arrangements.
After packing enough clothes for two weeks or so for she and Belle, Marlena proceeded to make a call to her best friend and the man she still loved more than anything else in the world. “John,” she said quietly, when he answered, “I’m calling to tell you that I’ve decided to go away for awhile and I’m taking Belle with me.”
There was silence for several moments on the other end of the line and then he finally spoke, “Doc, are you sure about this? Where are you going? How long will you be gone?” he asked in rapid succession, feeling suddenly afraid he was really going to lose her completely this time.
“John, slow down and I’ll answer the questions. Yes, I’m sure this is what I need right now. I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone or exactly where I’m going, but I’m starting with a trip to see my parents in Colorado. I’ll let you know where I’m headed after I’ve had some time to….think about my…future,” she said. If she had finished the sentence it would have been with the words, “without you” John completed the sentence in his mind and felt an incredible sense of deja vu as he did so. ‘Oh God, how can this be happening?’ How did we come to this? “Doc, you make it sound as if you’re going away for a long time. I… hope…not. I…..care about you so much and I’ll miss you and Belle. When are you leaving?”
“In just a few minutes actually. I made the decision and booked a flight immediately. I’m calling you from the car phone and I’m just about at the airport. “Goodbye, John,” she said with tears in her eyes.
As she was about to hang up she heard him say with desperation in his voice, “Wait please, I don’t want you to go.. at least not without saying goodbye in person,” he added hastily. “I’ll be there in a few minutes, please Marlena wait!”
She wanted to refuse him, but couldn’t when she thought about him holding her in the warmth and strength of his arms, and imagined breathing in his rugged masculine scent for one last time. Things would be very different when she returned someday down the line. She would be over him then and would not ever respond to him in the same way. She was sure of that because she could not bear to keep feeling the agony of unfulfilled desire at his slightest touch. “Okay, John I’ll wait, for Belle. She deserves to say goodbye and give you a kiss.”
“Thanks Doc, I’ll be there soon.” He hung up and then bolted for the door of the Mansion, not even bothering to tell Kristen where he was going. She and the baby were resting anyway. ‘Oh Doc, I wish…‘ “What! What do you wish, John?” he asked himself out loud. “Do you wish you had just told Marlena how you felt, a thousand times before and now it’s too late!! Did you think she would wait forever, you idiot?” His thoughts and emotions were so confusing as he rushed to see her for what seemed to be maybe the last time. Somehow he knew the relationship would be forever changed if and when she returned to Salem. He had no idea how it was he had convinced himself he could live without her as his heart sank at the thought of not seeing her smiling face so many times in a week, ‘Be honest with yourself John, you can hardly stand not seeing her every day.’
When John arrived at the airport, he looked for her car and spotted her at the departing parking area near American Airlines. She looked determined, but a little sad and he couldn’t help but wonder if it were about him. It had always killed him to see her in pain, but that was all he seemed to cause her. He was letting her go for that reason among others he couldn’t quite remember at this moment. ‘Oh Doc, how could such a great love end like this?’ As there was no answer in sight, he turned off the engine and got out of the Jeep, not wanting to waste one precious second of what might be the last time he spent with her for a very long while. He touched her on the arm and she struggled to hide the effects of that simple contact. “Marlena, thank you for waiting for me. I would hate for you to go without saying goodbye.” Finding it hard to look her in the eyes, he said with a slightly trembling voice, “I… hope you…find what you’re looking for. You know I want you to be happy. That’s all I ever wanted for you, Doc.”
Her voice was shaky too, the emotions threatening to overwhelm her, “And that’s all I want for you, John. I hope you find it with…Kristen and your son. You seem..happy with them.”
Hesitating, he finally answered with half hearted agreement, “Yes, I guess I am, but Doc I…want you to know how…. important you are to me. I can’t bear to think of not…seeing you, not…” He had to look away and hide his tears from her or he would pull her into his arms and confess his love and he couldn’t do that. Not now, it was just too late. No, he had to let her go no matter how much it hurt.
“Oh, John you are so…important to me too and you always will be. I…have to go now, the plane is leaving soon. She turned to leave and then couldn’t stop herself from saying it, “I….loved you, John, so..much and I won’t ever forget our special time together. I’ll treasure every memory.. we made.” She was crying openly, not able to hold back the tears of grief any longer. Then she left him standing there alone as she scooped up Belle and headed toward the gate.
John stood silently for a moment and watched her walk away. He was letting the best thing that ever happened to him get away and it tore his heart apart. He ran after them and then turned her gently to face him saying, “Marlena, wait. I..loved you too, more than words can ever express and I’m so…sorry that my love caused you so much pain. I never wanted that and I don’t ever want to hurt you like that again.” He stopped, afraid he’d say more than he should and looked down at the dirty airport carpet before adding one last comment, wishing he could tell her how he really felt, wishing things could be different, “I….I’ll miss you, please come home soon.”
“I’ll miss you too,” she repeated, wondering about what he didn’t say. Gathering herself together, she was the one who ended the conversation, “Now why don’t you give your daughter a kiss so we can catch the plane on time.” John gazed deeply at his precious little girl. ‘Our little girl,’ he thought. Seeing how incredibly beautiful both these women were and how much Belle resembled Marlena, made the pain all that much more intense in this moment, as he wondered how they would utter the words that were simply impossible to say. He kissed Belle and said, “Oh my sweet Belle baby, Daddy is going to miss you so very much. I hope you have fun with your Mommy though.”
Belle smiled sweetly with a little sadness in her eyes as she asked, “Daddy are you still going to love me, now that you have a another baby with Brady’s new momma?” The innocent but heartfelt question sent shooting pain through his heart and Marlena’s too, as it just brought the agony John and Marlena both felt to the bright light of day.
He caressed his baby’s cheeks and said simply, “Oh sweetheart, of course Daddy still loves you. Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you and…your Mommy. I will always love you and I’ll always be there whenever you need me. Please, don’t ever forget that,” he said looking at Marlena. Wishing things could be different but knowing it was over forever, Marlena looked up at the clock and said, “John we have to go now, I’m sorry but we’ll have to say goodbye now.”
That deja vous feeling came rushing back for both of them as they remembered the last time they had to say the word, when it was John who was trying to leave Salem to save them the pain that resulted from the inevitable affair. He didn’t know where he would find the strength to say it now, but he steeled himself for the task, as he truly believed he had no choice. “Goodbye, Doc,” he said with unbearable aching sadness in his heart and tears in his eyes. Then he suddenly took her into a powerful embrace and an earth shattering kiss, savoring every second of it as she responded for but an instant and then pulled out of the embrace.
She saw his tears glisten behind sad eyes, as she felt them drop from her own misty eyes as well. “Goodbye, John, and congratulations again..on the baby.” She turned to go as the salty droplets fell, making a light trail on the carpet.
The words to an eighties song playing on a radio in one of the airport shops seemed to fit the occasion perfectly:
How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You’re the only one who ever knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
Cos we’ve shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You’re the only one who ever knew me at all
I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There’s so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You’re the only one who really knew me at all……
John watched them go until they got on the plane and though it was agony, he stood at the window until the plane left the ground. Speaking softly, he said what was in his heart, “Oh Marlena, how I wish our love had never ended. I’ll love you forever, pretty lady. Goodbye, Doc.” And then he whispered it once more, “I love you.”
Marlena somehow knew he was standing there watching, saying a last goodbye to her. “I will always love you too, John, but those feelings will be deep inside, and I will start my new life without you. It will never be the same for us again.” As the tears flowed freely down her already moist cheeks, she said it one last time, “Goodbye again.. my love.”
John lingered at the window with his right hand on the glass for a long moment before turning away and leaving the airport. As he left, he knew he wasn’t ready to go home to Kristen and the baby just yet. So, he drove around somewhat aimlessly in painful silence for a while, eventually ending up at the park where he sat on a bench to try and finish letting Marlena go out of his heart. Instead, all his recollections of their time together left him longing for her again. He remembered the most difficult times too, the ones where their bond seemed almost indestructible. He pictured them at Maison Blanche when Marlena had risked her own safety by pretending to seduce Stefano to save John, and when she took care of him after he collapsed from his captor’s horribly abusive treatment. He remembered all the times when Marlena had been taken from the people she loved and he had ignored everything else in his life to search for and rescue her from that madman named Stefano Dimera. Then there was Aremid where he was tried and convicted unjustly of murdering Tony, and Marlena had complete faith in his innocence. Sharing those terrifying experiences had a powerful effect on the strength of the ties between them, probably more than the good times if one were honest about it, he thought. Deep in contemplation and missing her desperately, John did not hear his friend approaching.
So take a look at me now
Well there’s just an empty space
And there’s nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face…..
Abe Carver had seen the pained expression so many times before on his best friend’s face and he accurately surmised why it was there. John was thinking of his love for Marlena again. ‘Here we go again,’ he thought, and muttered, “same old conversation.” In his mind, Abe contradicted himself, ‘No, this is it; I’m not going to go through this with him, it’s going to end once and for all and I won’t discuss it with him ever again after today.’
Abe stood back quietly and watched his friend for a moment; John was hurting badly and it made his friend wonder what might have happened to spark a new round of anguish about his hidden feelings for Marlena. “Hey, partner what are you doing sitting out here in the cold all by yourself?” he asked kindly, when he was within easy earshot.
John didn’t even try to make up an excuse, he was hurting so much with the memories still so fresh in his mind. He looked up sadly and said, “I let her go Abe, I just let her go.” Fighting back the tears that wanted to flow, he concluded, “Things will never be the same for us again. She’s gone, she’s really gone, and I have to find a way to get her out of my heart.. and out of my soul.”
Abe didn’t bother to make him say the name… “What exactly are you saying, John? Did Marlena go away somewhere?”
His eyes acknowledging Abe’s conclusion about his distress, he answered forlornly, “Yes, she just left with Belle on what sounded like a long trip, starting with a visit to her parents in Colorado. She said she’d let me know where they were going next after she had some time to make some decisions about her future..” Once again those two words hung in the air.
“Without you,” completed Abe softly. “John are you absolutely sure that letting her go is what you really want?” he asked after a meaningful pause. Knowing the answer he was going to get, he hardly wanted to hear the same old line of guilt, etc. from his friend. ‘No, I’m going to force the issue this time,’ he determined, ‘No matter how he feels toward me when I do. Our friendship is worth the risk.. I know he still loves her and he’s going to regret this for the rest of his life.’
John finally broke down, the tears spilling out like water rushing over a dam and he cried out in frustration, “What I want, What I want!! What I want can never be, Abe! What I want is to get on a plane right now and go out to Colorado to sweep her off her feet, to wine and dine and romance her back into my heart! I want to spoil her rotten and buy her the biggest damn house in all of Salem! I want to put a gorgeous ring on her finger and see that incredible smile of hers and love for me.. shining through those beautiful eyes. That’s what I WANT, Abe!!”
His best friend was very calm in the face of John’s intensity, “Good, for once you’re being honest, John. It’s very refreshing!” Then, he changed his approach, speaking firmly, “Now… I’m going to say all this to you once John and that’s it. I’m never going to have this conversation with you again because it’s getting you nowhere. It causes you only pain and confusion. So once you make up your mind what you’re going to do here, don’t bring it up again. Have you got that, buddy?”
Shocked by his friend’s forceful demeanor, he simply agreed, saying quietly, “Yes, I’ve got it, Abe.” “Okay then, listen to me, John. You have told me repeatedly that you love Marlena very deeply and I have seen that love grow over a lot of years through all kinds of circumstances. You also keep telling me that your love has only hurt Marlena and that you don’t want to hurt her again, that you think she doesn’t love you, and that what’s best for her is to let her go.” John was nodding in tacit agreement, but was too curious and taken aback to speak.
Standing up and taking a step back from the bench, Abe continued in very strong tones, “Well, I think you’re wrong, John. You have NO idea what is best for her or what she wants because Dammit you never asked her! You never gave her the chance to tell you what SHE feels, what SHE wants!” Softening his voice and putting a hand to John’s shoulder, he finished saying, “Ask her and then you can put this to rest… Good luck, buddy,” he said as he started to walk away and let John think.
It was unnerving to hear all that, but he didn’t want Abe to leave him alone with his thoughts, so he said the first thing that came to mind. “Wait, what about Kristen and the baby?” John asked, almost as if his friend could really answer that question for him.
Knowing better than to reply directly, Abe responded by simply asking another question, “Don’t you think they deserve better than to spend a life with you as your second choice? And, don’t you deserve to have a chance at sharing your life with the woman you love more than anything else on this earth? Good luck, John.. I hope you’re happy with your decision, whatever it is…”
Seriously considering what his best friend had just asserted, John replied gratefully, “Thanks, Abe. You’re right.. about all of it. I’m going to make a decision here today and then there’s no turning back, no regrets, no more wondering what might have been. I won’t bother you with this again.”
There was a long, slightly awkward silence and then John stood up and said, “I’m going Abe. I’m going to Colorado to tell her exactly how I feel and to ask her how she feels about me, NOW!”
Abe smiled warmly, gave John a brief hug of encouragement and said enthusiastically, “Good, now get out of here, would you? Get out there, take her in your arms and never let her go!”
John ran off to find her and do just that, if that were what she wanted. Praying for divine intervention, he made a fervent plea to his Lord, “Please God just give me one more chance to win her back and I’ll never let her down. I’ll spend every day of my life trying to make her happy.”
The sun was beginning to set over the horizon, making a glorious array of colors. ‘How fitting,’ she thought, ‘the sun is setting on our love John, it’s over now.’ Marlena glanced over at her sleeping angel of a girl, thinking about how she was the one shining reminder of a once great love affair. ‘Our love will live on in a way through Belle, but our relationship will never be the same; the nights of romance and passion are gone forever. I wish…Oh stop it Marlena, there’s no sense focusing on a dream that can never become a reality. It is finished and it’s time to get on with your life now.’
Soon the plane had landed in Colorado and Marlena was greeted enthusiastically at the gate by her mother, “My goodness.. Belle has grown so much and she’s so beautiful, so much like her mother,” said Belle’s grandmother with pride.
“Oh, Mom it’s so good to be here, I’ve missed you so much and I think I really need you now,” she said sadly.
“I have missed you too, and I know this must be a very difficult time for you. I’m so sorry things didn’t work out the way you had hoped honey,” her mother said as she hugged Marlena, who looked to be near tears again.
Fighting back those tears she said, “Mom, I appreciate your support, but I don’t want to talk about this right now, okay?” Maybe later when Belle goes down for the night and I get settled.”
The older version of Marlena’s beauty smiled weakly and said, “I understand, sweetheart.” Nothing more was said as they climbed into the car and drove in near silence to the Evan’s home in the outskirts of Denver.
John made a couple of quick phone calls to arrange his trip, telling Kristen that he had some important business to take care of that required a short trip and that they could talk when he returned. Even though all of that was true he felt more than a little guilty about giving her a false impression about what type of business it was. But, he had to take this one last chance to win Marlena’s heart. Within the hour he was on his way to Colorado.
While John was airborne, he rehearsed a hundred times all the words he should say to tell Marlena how much he loved her, and how he had always loved her, and how sorry he was about all the time they had lost when they could have been together. He hoped she would listen to him and that she still loved him, but he wasn’t sure of anything where Marlena was concerned. “Doc… I’m sorry for… No.. that’s not right…” he said realizing he needed to use her name. “Marlena.. I still love you… and I was wondering if.. ” Shaking his head in frustration he said, “No, no No! it’s all wrong! Oh.. what am I gonna say to her?” he yelled in frustration as he paced about cabin of the plane, running his fingers through the thick dark hair which he absently noted was in desperate need of a trim.
John arrived in Denver and went straight to the home of Frank and Martha Evans to see his love. As he approached the door, he caught a glimpse of her in her sweat pants and sweatshirt. Looking at her, he decided that she was one of the few women who was blessed with a figure and a face that was absolutely beautiful in anything she wore. He lifted up a silent prayer as he waited for someone to answer the doorbell. “Oh, Lord please…just let her talk to me.”
When Marlena’s mother came to the door, she was so positively shocked to see him standing there that she just stared at him for several moments before greeting him loudly, “Why John Black, what in the world are you doing here?” She did so because she wanted to give Marlena the chance to go into another part of the house if she so chose. “Please come in for a minute while I check and see if Marlena wants to see you,” the older version of Marlena offerred.
He was somewhat taken aback, but instantly realized his mistake in arriving without having at least called first. He hadn’t thought it through on that level and hoped that his love would not turn him away. He said as he stepped across the threshold, “Yes… thank you and please.. forgive me for coming here unannounced. I guess I wasn’t… thinking, I’m sorry.”
“We’ll let it pass this time,” she said with a slightly irritated look on her face. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find my daughter and see what she wants to do.”
‘I could be in real hot water here,’ John thought. They are obviously not too happy with me right now. Please Marlena don’t send me away, just give me a chance,’ he pleaded silently.
After a few minutes, Marlena appeared from the living room and entered the foyer to greet him. She didn’t smile warmly as he expected and he knew instantly that he had his work cut out. She was completely silent, waiting for him to make the first move. He smiled sheepishly and said, “I…uh, I suppose you’re wondering what I’m doing here?”
“You could say that. John, I thought we said all there was to be said at the airport in Salem. Why are you here?” she asked with a similar look of irritation to the one her mother wore earlier. ‘Well I see where she gets her strong and independent personality,‘ he thought.
“Well, I…uh I’ve been doing some thinking and I wanted to talk with you about something really important. It’s about…us, Doc.”
She reacted instantly to that comment with fire in her eyes, “John there is no US! In case you’ve forgotten, you’re married now and you have a newborn baby waiting at home for you! Why don’t you go back home to them and leave me alone to visit with my parents,” she said sharply, as she turned around to head back into the living room.
‘This is going to be harder than I thought,’ he concluded as he gently grasped her forearm to stop her, saying, “Wait, Marlena please… I really need to talk to you, to tell you something…. Something I should have been open with you about a long time ago. Will you please listen to what I have to say?” he asked with a sweet pleading look that had always worked in the past.
She didn’t respond in the same old way. The more she thought about everything that had happened, the angrier she was feeling toward him. John knew he was in trouble when he saw her face as she confronted him about his actions, “Why should I, John? You made everything I need to know perfectly clear when you married.. Kristen in the delivery room for God’s sake, without even telling me of your plans.” Her anger seemed to be building as she went on, “We were supposed to be such close friends, John, and you kept something as important as that from me.”
‘Oh Boy, I’m in serious trouble here.. could be heading for a crash and burn scenario,’ he thought, as he scrambled for the words that would calm her anger and get her to listen. He couldn’t think of a one so he did what came naturally and tried to kiss her.
She pushed him away before he even got close. She had seen him look at her and knew what was coming. “Don’t even think about trying that again, John! You said you came here to talk so start talking, you’re time is running out,” she said as she crossed her arms in front of her.
In a state of near panic, the words just seemed to tumble out of his mouth and he was more honest than he had been with her in years, “Okay.. okay… Marlena, I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you in all these years and I finally realized that.. when we were in Aremid and you gave me your unconditional support during the trial. That meant so much to me and when I thought I was going to die, I wrote you this letter telling you of my love, but I guess it got lost in the confusion.” He glanced over at her and she seemed to be softening a bit, so he continued his confession of sorts. “Anyway, I tried to tell you about my feelings after we came back from Aremid, but you said you wanted us to be friends, so I guess I gave up without a fight and I know now that I shouldn’t have. It was a mistake to go back to Kristen so quickly and to encourage her in the slightest to have a baby. It was stupid and foolish and I’m sorry, but I still love you and I realized after you left today that if I didn’t take this chance you would be lost to me forever, Doc.”
She stood still and silent, her arms still crossed, a gesture that indicated his little confession was not enough for her and that she was carefully considering her response to his speech. “That’s all very nice John, but I think it might be just too little too late. You seem to keep forgetting you are married now and I heard you say with your own mouth that you are committed to Kristen and the baby and that you didn’t want to break that commitment for any reason.”
He winced, realizing what that meant, “You heard me praying Doc? I’m…sorry about that.”
“Why are you sorry, John… because I heard you or because you said it? Did you lie about your feelings.. even to God?” She was livid now and he didn’t think he could break through the wall she was putting up as they spoke.
Realizing he was teetering on the brink of disaster and that every word counted, John was very calm as he replied, giving her an apologetic look, “No, I’m sorry if hearing that hurt your feelings and I have since changed my perspective. I know that I can’t live without you, that you are the only woman who has ever truly captured my heart and soul.” He smiled at her, letting all the love he felt for her pour out through his eyes, “I love you very much and I would like the chance to win your heart again, that is if you still love me.. which brings me to the other reason I came here–to ask you how you feel about me.”
Marlena was beginning to cave in to his charms and she knew it was only a matter of time before she let him kiss her, which she could tell he was preparing to do to melt her last defenses. “How do I feel about you? Can’t you tell, John? I’m very angry with you,” she replied with as angry a glare as she could muster. And, yet there was something behind her eyes that let him know he had an opening….
Grinning in spite of the tension, he said, “Yes, I can see that you’re angry and I take that as a very good sign. You wouldn’t be this mad at me, if you didn’t still feel something for me.” Then he stopped and couldn’t help himself as he smiled and shared his gut reaction, “God, you’re beautiful when you’re angry, Doc!” Then he prepared to duck flying objects and he was right about her intentions, but she was frustrated in her attempt because she couldn’t find anything handy to wing at him.
Fighting off a smile in response to his impish charms, she said, “You are really pushing it, John. This is serious business. You are talking about walking out on a wife and child. I don’t think we should be joking about it, do you?” She wasn’t about to tell him of Kristen’s deceptions. She wanted him to choose her over Kristen. Then she would tell him what she knew.
John decided for his own safety, he better agree with her, “You’re right, I’m sorry, but it’s true.. you *are* gorgeous when you’re angry.” Still smiling, but seeing her irritation with him, he put up his hands as a defensive gesture and then continued, “You’re right, Doc….I’ll be serious from now on, I promise. Now, please.. tell me how you feel about me. Do you still love me Marlena?”
She decided to tell him the truth, but said it with little emotion because answering his question did not mean they would be getting back together, “Yes, I still love you, John, but that may not be enough for us.”
“How can you say that? We just admitted we still love each other. Are you telling me that doesn’t mean anything to you, Marlena?” he asked in surprise at her attitude. He had been thinking that if she learned they both felt the same way she would be very happy about it and eventually take him back.
Changing the subject slightly, she asked, “Tell me something John, did you go to Kristen and tell her what you’re telling me? Did you break it off with her and tell her you wanted a divorce or annulment and that you love me, anything like that.. before you came here?”
She had caught him off guard, and he stammered as he scrambled for a reasonable explanation for not doing so, “Well, uh.. no I didn’t, but I planned to talk with her when I got back. I guess I was so.. overwhelmed with my feelings toward you that I didn’t…think,” he said, wincing as he saw her face turning red again. “I didn’t want to wait to see you, to tell you how I felt.” He knew he was in the dog house again now, and prayed for divine intervention once more.
It was quite clear from her expression that she was really angry with him and he prepared to be lambasted. John was correct in his assumption; she didn’t hold back anything as she let him know exactly how she felt about his actions. “John, I want you to leave now. Get out of my sight!” She started to walk away from him and then turned back toward him and spoke with venom, “What.. did you think you could come running out here and confess your love to me and I was going to melt into your arms or fall at your feet in gratitude because of it? Well you were wrong, John Black!”
His heart sank… he had come so close… ‘Uh oh, she used the last name, she’s really steamed.‘ John tried to respond and explain himself, but before he could formulate any kind of a response, she continued to vent at him, “You said I was the only woman who is truly in your heart. If that’s true, John then you should have told Kristen and then come to me or did you think that just in case I turned you down you would settle for a life with your second choice? Love is about taking risks, John. Now like I said… I want you to go!” she finished, pointing toward the door. She left no room for further discussion, but she knew that wouldn’t stop him if he were determined to make her hear him out. “Now, John!” she added, speaking as forcefully as she ever had, her breathing rapid and shallow from the powerful surge of angry adrenaline.
He was overcome by her intensity and it took him awhile to figure out what to do, what to say to keep her with him. Then he spoke very carefully, “Marlena, I can see that you’re very angry… God knows you have every right to be.. but I want to answer your questions and then if you still want me to go, I will.” He said it all very calmly and with total sincerity, “No, I didn’t tell her about what I had decided and no I didn’t expect you to fall at my feet. I did hope for a little kiss on the cheek maybe,” he said in an attempt to lighten the mood which fell flat. “Seriously, Doc I hoped you would say that you still loved me and that we could have a chance at a new start when you returned to Salem. I did not plan to go back to Kristen if you turned me down. I know now that any woman deserves better than to be someone’s second choice. I was going to break it off with her no matter how you responded to me here tonight.”
That was what she wanted to hear.. total honesty. She felt herself weakening ever so slightly and then he did it, he gazed deeply into her eyes and showed her all the love and desire he had so long denied, even to himself. “Doc, I have another confession to make. I wasn’t thinking of Kristen the other day when you came into the hospital room. I was dreaming about you and that kiss was the best part of my day. I was so glad it wasn’t a dream and you were really there kissing me. I love you and I’ve really missed your kisses,” and he moved in tentatively for another, hoping she wouldn’t push him away again.
Marlena felt some of the anger starting to fade and just before their lips met she said, “I have a confession to make too. I know you weren’t thinking of her; you called me Doc and then you pulled me into another kiss, and it was the best part of my day, too.” As his lips touched hers, she fought it at first, but found her resistance faltering somehow, and her anger fading even more. She finally melted into his kiss and she knew her fate was sealed at that very moment. She couldn’t turn him away now, but she did want him to work for it a little, so she pulled away again as she said, “Now, I want you to go home and break it off with Kristen and then come back to me. I want you to court me properly, John as if we were starting fresh. You’ll have to win my heart all over again, are you willing?”
He looked at her with a feeling of incredible joy in his heart and a sparkle in his eyes that she hadn’t seen for a very long time as he said, “YES, I’m more than willing, Doc..I mean Dr. Evans.”
Without warning, John turned around and walked out the door and then knocked. She opened the door and he gently took her hand then raised it to his lips. Planting a sweet kiss upon it, he addressed her as a gentleman would, “Hello, I’m pleased to meet you Marlena Evans, I am John Black and I intend to win your heart.” He pulled a single rose out of his jacket pocket, handed it to her and finished up with, “I’ll see you again very soon right here in Colorado if that meets with your approval, pretty lady.” Then he smiled at her so tenderly and stared directly into her soul with those gorgeous baby blues; this time her heart did melt.
Marlena knew she had made the right decision in admitting her love to him, though she had doubted she would do so when he first arrived and even during their “discussion.” She wanted to know for certain that he meant it when he said she was the only woman in his heart. She was certain now as she had never seen him this happy with Kristen, not once in all those years that he had an on again/off again relationship with the..witch. He loves ME, He really loves me and he wants his future to be with me. Thank you Lord.
She was thrilled, but she wasn’t going to make it easy for him to win her again. He would have to buy her flowers and candy and have romantic candlelight dinners, take her to the movies, for walks in the park, and take her out dancing, the works.. and she would not sleep with the man for quite awhile, though it would kill her to resist his advances. She didn’t want him to think she had just been pining away for him and that he could just expect to make love to her immediately because she hadn’t been with anyone for a long time. He would have to work for that too and she would tease him with it as a little bit of payback for her suffering. She smiled as she imagined all the ways he would try to break down her defenses and the fun they would have along the way.
John realized that he needed to go now and leave her to her visit with her parents, and he had to go back and be honest with Kristen about his feelings, wishing he hadn’t taken so long to risk Marlena’s rejection. He said simply, “Goodbye, Marlena.. until we meet again, my sweet love.” He kissed her and put his arms around her, running his hands through her silky hair. He breathed in her sweet scent and relished the feel of her body close to his, then swiftly broke off the embrace as he felt the heady rush of desire building and said, “I…uh, I better be going now, Marlena.” He took a step backward and Marlena couldn’t help but say teasingly, “John, are you sure you’re able to drive, you look a little dizzy right now.”
She was right, he was dizzy with desire for her. That brief embrace sent shivers throughout his entire body and if he didn’t leave he would be tempted to sweep her up in his arms and take her back to the plane with him, to the hotel or right there in the rental car. He said as he swallowed hard, “Uh..Yea…I’ll be just fine, and I can’t wait to see you again.” With his back to the door, he opened it while still admiring her beauty in a whole new way; he was so enraptured with her that he almost fell down backwards over the frame of the door, barely catching himself as he lost his balance.
Marlena watched the events unfold and nearly doubled over in laughter feeling very satisfied by the effect she was having on him. Just to make her point stick, she moved in quickly, catching him off guard, and gave him another kiss to remember her while they were apart. She took his breath away and he swooned. “Woah, what was that for, Marlena?”
“Just a little something to remind you of what you’ve been missing all this time we were apart,” she said smiling mischieviously.
Still under the effects of the spell she was weaving, he said dreamily, “Trust me Marlena, I didn’t need any reminding, but I’m so glad you did that.”
As he started to move in for another passionate embrace, she put her hands up to stop him and replied, “John, you know it’s getting rather late and I’ve decided that your courting has just begun. A true gentleman has a lady home by this time of night and bids her ado with a gentle kiss on the cheek.”
John groaned and did as she asked saying, “Oh, you’re really going to take this courting thing seriously aren’t you, Marlena?”
“You can count on it, Mr. Black. Goodbye for now!” she replied as she nudged him out the door, leaving him still flushed with his desire for her. He walked down the sidewalk slowly, committing the evening to memory and grinning with boyish excitement, as he practically floated to the car.
Marlena Evans slept restlessy that night, dreaming of John and their future together. Yet strangely enough when she awakened, she felt more rested than she had in all their years apart. ‘He loves ME. He loves me and he wants to share the rest of his life with me!’ She could hardly believe that it was real, that he had actually come to see her and admitted his love for her, taking the risk that she returned that love. As she went to pinch herself just to make sure, she was surprised to hear her mother’s voice through the door. “Marlena may I come in for a moment?” she asked, pleased to have seen her daughter go to bed with a smile on her face.
“Yes, please do, Mom,” she said as her mother entered, bringing a tray for breakfast containing all her old favorites.
She wanted to spoil Marlena this morning and she placed the tray on the bed and then moved over to turn on the stereo, fiddling with the radio dial. Then she turned and said, “I thought you might like some relaxing music with your meal, I hope you don’t mind sweetheart,” she said smiling.
“Oh, Mom you don’t have to spoil me like this, you know. Just being here with you and Dad is enough for me,” said Marlena sweetly.
A few minutes after she was alone, she heard the disk jockey saying, “Hello everybody this is KLUV the luuuuuv line coming at you early in the morning. You all know that we don’t usually take dedications at this time of day, but my last caller was just too persuasive to turn down. The call came long distance from way across the country and the man is so smitten that he offered to buy the radio station if I agreed to play this song for the lady he loves. Okay pretty lady he said you would know what he meant:
To my precious Doc… from the man who still wants to be your Good Guy with a capital G. Here is Bryan Adams’ “Please Forgive Me”
Still feels like the first night together
Feels like the first kiss
It’s gettin’ better baby, no one can better this
Still holdin on, you’re still number one
First time our eyes met
Same feeling I get
Only feels much stronger
Wanna love you longer
She remembered that first time…. he was scared.. trembling… so uncertain of his place in the world. She’d known there was something special about him from the moment she’d laid eyes on him. ‘Oh.. John, it does grow stronger.. I love you so…’
You still turn the fire on
So if you’re feeling lonely don’t
You’re the only love I ever wanted
I only want to make it good
So if I love you a little more than I should
Please forgive me, I know not what I do
Please forgive me, I can’t stop lovin’ you
Don’t deny me this pain I’m going through
Please forgive me if I need you like I do
Please believe it, every word I say is true
Please forgive me, I can’t stop lovin’ you
Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch
We’re still getting closer baby
I can’t get close enough
Still holding on, you’re still number one
I remember the smell of your skin,
I remember everything
I remember all your moves, I remember You, yea
I remember the nights… you know I still do
How could they ever forget those nights of passion? The love they made was simply magical.. it was everything a woman could ever want… As a lover, he moved her like no other could… Her desire for him was everlasting… his kisses and his touch stirring passions she never knew were there inside her, waiting to be unleashed.
So if you’re feeling lonely don’t
You’re the only love I ever want
Only wanna to make it good
So if I love you a little more than I should
Please forgive me, I know not what I do
Please forgive me, I can’t stop lovin’ you
Don’t deny me this pain I’m going through
Please forgive me if I need you like I do
Babe believe it every word I say is true
Please forgive me, I can’t stop lovin’ you
The one thing I’m sure of
Is the way we make love
The one thing I depend on
Is for us to stay strong….
We are strong… when we’re together, John… We’ve beaten the odds, honey… We’ve overcome all of Stefano’s evil plans and Kristen’s lies and we’re finally going to be together… the way we always should have been.. I’m so glad you came to me…. Nothing will ever tear us apart again….
With every word and every breath I’m prayin’
It’s why I’m saying
Please forgive me, I know not what I do
Please forgive me, I can’t stop lovin’ you
Don’t deny me this pain I’m going through
Please forgive me if I need you like I do
Babe believe it every word I say is true
Please forgive me if I can’t stop lovin’ you
Believe it, I don’t know what I do
Please forgive me, I can’t stop lovin’ you
Can’t stop loving you……..
As she listened to the song, she couldn’t help but be touched by his romantic gesture. ‘Oh John, I love you so much and I do forgive you… you know I do.. I can tell that you’re going to make it so difficult to take it slow, you romantic fool.’ She was delighted with his efforts thus far..
As she dried the tears of joy from her face and got dressed, her mother called out to her, “Honey, there’s a delivery here for you.” Marlena scrambled into her jeans and sweatshirt and practically flew down the stairs, her heart pounding with anticipation. Then her eyes landed on the most beautiful flower arrangement she had ever seen in her entire life. It had all her favorite flowers and she was shaking so much she could hardly read the card.
Then as she made the attempt, the doorbell rang again. The man handed her a huge box of deluxe chocolates from the small family operated shop she had told John about only one time, in passing, she thought. After recovering slightly from the rush of excited adrenaline, she read the card,
To My Precious Marlena,
Please forgive me for waiting
so long to take the risk. And
thank you for giving me a chance
to win your heart. You won’t
regret it, I promise.
All My Love,
John
All she could do was stand there in the foyer of her parents home and burst into joyful tears at all that John was already doing to keep that promise. She calmly and quietly stepped out onto the porch of the house and then proceeded to shout at the top of her lungs and one would swear her love could hear it all the way back in Salem, USA. “I LOVE YOU JOHN BLACK!”
John went to see Abe before going to the Mansion, having called him from the plane. He wanted to thank his good friend for forcing the issue and making him see that he had been avoiding taking the risk that Marlena had mentioned so angrily. The truth be told, he had been afraid that she didn’t love him, and that was strangely worse than the agony of wondering and wishing she loved him still. He knew that if she had sent him away, his whole world would have been shattered. Just the mere possibility that she cared for him more deeply than as a friend was comforting to him, yet he had not felt he deserved her love because he had hurt her so much. He realized now how foolish and needless that lingering guilt had been. It had simply kept them from sharing some wonderful years together, years he now, in many ways, considered wasted time, time spent without her in his life, his arms, his everything. They were years when he could have held her close and loved her, but this was no time for regrets, only new possibilities. Once past the hurdle of telling Kristen the truth, he would focus on the bright and shining future he was going to build with the woman he truly loved all along.
The Jeep came to a stop near the Carver’s home and John’s heart felt light for the first time in longer than he could even remember. He rang the bell and was greeted cautiously by his best male friend. “Hi, John uh…how did it…” He stopped mid-sentence as he saw the light in John’s eyes; the sparkle was there again. She had not turned him away, ‘Thank God,’ he thought, but he waited for John to say it.
“She LOVES me Abe, She really LOVES ME!! He grinned from ear to ear and shouted gleefully like an excited child. Abe impulsively pulled John into a rough hug, then John added, “Marlena loves me and we have a chance at a life together, I can hardly believe it Abe!” John’s eyes, which were moist with joyful tears, sparkled with boyish enthusiasm.
Abe’s heart filled with mirth for John and Marlena. He had seen their love grow stronger for years now, though slightly hidden and they sometimes seemed to be in such pain without each other. They simply shared a love in which the two were made complete only in the other, one meant to last a lifetime. He laughed and cried with his friend and said while patting him heartily on the back, “John, I am so… incredibly glad for you. You seem so much… happier already than I have ever seen you with… Kristen. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, I know you love her in a way, but…”
“But not the way I love Doc!” He said it so passionately, “I could never love anyone the way I love her, Abe. She is…my Soulmate, the other half of my heart. She fills me up like nothing and no one else ever has Abe, and I came
here to thank you for confronting me about asking her what she wanted and needed. That is the most loving thing anyone has ever done for me. You helped me see how wrong I was to stay caught up in my old guilt feelings for hurting her without ever truly asking how she still felt about me. I think that is what actually kept me from seeing into her heart; it blinded me, but now I see.” John kept smiling as he talked, like a schoolboy telling a buddy about a new crush.
Abe wanted details and John agreed to give them. He talked quickly and excitedly, “Well she wasn’t exactly thrilled to see me when I got there and it seemed whatever I said was wrong, at first. She kept getting madder and her face turned red. I thought I was going to crash and burn when she asked me if I had told Kristen about my decision; when I said no I really thought I’d lost her.” He chuckled as he told the next part, “Then I asked her how she felt about me and of course she said she was angry and I said that was a good sign and that she’s beautiful when she’s angry. Whew! She hit the roof and wanted to throw something at me when I said that. Thank God there wasn’t anything lethal nearby.”
Abe was laughing hard by that point and had to ask, “John, that doesn’t sound like the warm reunion you were hoping for, what did you say to turn it around?”
John laughed too, shrugged and said, “To tell you the truth, I don’t exactly know. I just answered all her questions honestly and at one point I stared deeply into her eyes and let her see all my love and desire and she started to cave, I could see it in her eyes. I knew then, she wouldn’t turn me away.”
He smiled on the next memory, “Then I told her I wasn’t thinking of Kristen that day she came in the hospital room and we kissed, remember I mentioned that?” Well, I told her I was thinking of her and that the kiss was the best part of my day. I said I loved her and missed her kisses.” Then she admitted the same thing, we kissed and that was it. I knew then we had a real chance.”
John was positively beaming and it made his best friend very thankful that he too had taken a risk. “Buddy, I am thrilled for you. I have hoped this would happen for a long time because I have never really seen you truly happy since you were with Marlena in marriage all those years ago.”
John nodded knowingly, saying, “To be totally honest, you’re right. There has been an empty space inside of me all these years, a void that can only be filled by Marlena. I love her so deeply that my heart and soul ache for her. I can feel our bond of love growing again already. I swear I could hear her shout out that she loves me today when I was flying back on the plane. I had this image of her standing on the porch of her parents house and yelling it out to me. Can you believe that?” he asked with an expression of delighted amazement on his face.
Abe smiled broadly again and replied, “Where you two are concerned nothing would surprise me partner. Congratulations!” he added, clasping John’s hand tightly.
Starting to head back out toward the Jeep, John turned back and said, “Oh, one more thing, she says I have to win her heart all over again, to court her like we were starting from the beginning, you know.. flowers, candy, dancing, the whole deal. Then right before I left she said a gentleman would kiss her on the cheek and say goodnight, but that was right after she kissed me, I mean.. really kissed me. She did that on purpose, she’s not going to make this easy, I can tell.”
Smiling at his friend’s slight frustration he said, “Yea, she’s going to make you work for it, John. Good for her, she deserves only the best of everything and you know it. Besides think of all the fun you’ll have surprising her.”
John was slightly hesitant, “Abe, it’s not that she doesn’t deserve all that, I’d give her the sun, the moon, and the stars if it were up to me, but I…she… Oh, I don’t know how to say this. Abe, I held her for the briefest of moments and I…well I just don’t know how in the world I’m gonna to stop myself from trying to make love to her whenever I see her,” he said glancing down at the ground, feeling a little embarrassed.
Abe just laughed heartily and then said, “Well I can see that some things never change.” Patting his friend on the back, Abe added, “All I can say is good luck, buddy.. prepare yourself for a lot of cold showers.”
John laughed in spite of himself and just nodded his head as he stood poised to climb into the Jeep. With a wistful sigh, he repeated it, “Yeah… cold showers.”
John went back to the mansion to do the dreaded deed of telling his new wife their short marriage was over. He still hesitated when saying the word, as something about it just didn’t feel right, especially now when he and Marlena had finally admitted their ongoing love for each other. Yet, John did love the woman in a way and she had never done anything that he had seen to hurt anyone and he didn’t feel she deserved to be hurt this way. “What kind of man am I?” he had asked his friend Abe just before leaving to talk to Kristen. The words stayed with him now, “A man who has finally come to his senses and who is going to take a chance on love with the woman he has always loved more than his own life.
“Yes, he had said, but at the expense of another kind and loving woman with whom I should also have been honest from the start,” he had replied. ‘I should never have reconciled so quickly with Kristen before truly addressing my strong feelings for Marlena that were brought to the surface by what happened in Aremid. If I had done that I could have saved both of them so much pain.’ John felt deeply guilty about his actions hurting the two people who have meant the most to him.
Still he had to do this, not just because of Marlena, but because he truly believed that Kristen did deserve better than to be his second choice. As he approached the door, his stomach churned with acid and his head pounded. ‘Oh Kristen, I am so sorry for what I’m about to do, I hope someday you can forgive me, at least for the sake of our child.’
Kristen greeted him warmly and kissed him as he stepped over the threshold. “Hi, honey how did your business go?”
Another wave of guilt washed over him as he replied, “Fine, just fine.” He walked on into the living room and said hesitantly, “Listen, Kristen there is…. something we need to discuss and we need to sit down, okay?”
She reacted with obvious tension in her face, in her eyes as if she almost knew what were coming, like she had somehow prepared for it and she said, “What did Marlena tell you? John, whatever she said it isn’t true!” she said anxiously. “Please give me a chance to explain…”
John interrupted her, saying, “Woah, honey slow down a minute, what are you talking about?”
Kristen realized that she had misread him and backed off quickly and tried to come up with what she had been worried about. “John, I was worried that Marlena would tell you I haven’t been taking good care of myself since the baby, you know.. not getting enough sleep and I didn’t want you to worry about me.”
“Well, she didn’t say a word, but you really should take better care of yourself when you can. I know it’s hard with a newborn though. No, Kristen this is about something completely different.” He sighed and sat down on the couch and bid her to do the same.
She looked at him with a puzzled expression and he wondered how he would sit there and break her heart. “Honey, I….Oh, I don’t know how to tell you this. I guess I should start with what happened in Aremid and how it affected me.”
“Aremid, John that was a long time ago, why are you bringing it up now of all times, when we’ve just gotten married and had a baby? Aren’t you happy about that?”
“Of course, having our child has made me very happy, Kristen.” He hesitated only a moment longer, “The reason I brought up Aremid is that something very powerful happened to me there and the aftereffects are still with me even now. Kristen you…. doubted me and you weren’t there in the way I needed you. You know I forgave you, but….”
She interrupted him and said in anger, “Marlena was. She was always there for you, and you were so glad about it weren’t you, John. You’re going to tell me that it’s her you really love aren’t you? I knew it, She finally stole you away from me. I HATE HER!! That…witch she’s taking you away when I need you the most!”
Kristen’s eyes burned with hatred and rage. John had never seen her like this in all the time he had known her and it was shocking. He tried to explain that he had pursued Marlena, that she had gone away and he realized that he truly loved her and couldn’t let her go out of his life. He told Kristen that she deserved to have better than someone who pined over another woman. No matter what he said, he couldn’t seem to reach her. She was consumed with feelings of jealousy, anger and betrayal and she screamed at him, even struck him.
She was so angry she threatened him, “I hate both of you and you will pay for this, I swear it! John, if you leave me, I’ll keep the baby away from you forever, you’ll never see him again!! I’ll drag you and that witch through the mud in the nastiest scandal you’ve ever seen and I’ll win total custody. Is that what you want, John?”
John had known she would be angry and hurt, but he had never expected this and he was hurt too, for he loved John, Jr. so…much. It stabbed his heart to think of being separated from him. “Oh, Kristen, you can’t mean that. You..wouldn’t keep me from my son, our son. I know you’re hurt, but to use our son to keep me bound to you…”
She stood within inches and vented, “You bet I’m angry and so hurt, John. Why now, why didn’t you figure all this out months ago? No, you wait until we have a newborn child and then decide to leave me for another woman. I HATE YOU!! and that Bitch too!!
John stepped away from her, as if to leave, feeling the sting of truth in that remark, but not knowing how to respond to the irrational woman before him now. “Kristen, I never meant to hurt you. I thought that I could get over my feelings for Marlena, but I couldn’t. I’m so sorry.” He felt horrible about it, but he couldn’t go on living a lie any longer.
“If you aren’t sorry now, you will be, John Black. I promise, if you walk out that door right now you will never see your son, never hold him in your arms again. I hope you’re happy with your choice!” She said it all with venom in her voice as she went to go up the stairs.
John stood there not knowing what else to do, what to say to calm her rage at him. “Kristen wait, please.. let’s talk about this some more. I want to try and make you understand this.”
She turned back toward him, “No, you don’t care about me understanding, you just want to convince me not to take the baby. He is all you ever cared about when it came to me. You only stayed with me because I had a fragile pregnancy and as soon as the baby was born you planned to leave me for Marlena. You were probably seeing her on the side, weren’t you? I mean you did have an affair before when she was married, this was no different, was it?” she said sarcastically.
Those cutting remarks wounded him deeply as he had never done anything of the kind and she knew it. She said it only to hurt him and had done a fine job of it. “Oh, Kristen you know that’s not true. I was never unfaithful to you.. and Marlena and I had no such plans. How can you say that?”
“Because that is the way I see it. I did find you two together in the bed at the hospital the other day, remember? and I will make the courts see it that way too. And then I will gain sole custody. Goodbye John!”
“Kristen, no..” She caught the slight flicker of guilt on his face. “You know that isn’t what you saw, I explained what happened. There hasn’t been any affair between Marlena and I, and you know it. I would never do that again after the pain I caused to so many people the last time.”
“Well, I don’t believe you and I don’t want your influence on my son, so get out! You’ve done what you came to do. Go now to your precious DOC, but just remember you’re sacrificing your son. I hope she’s worth it, John!”
There was nothing more to say and he left, dejected and shocked at the vehemence of her anger and vindictiveness. He had never expected it from her. It was a whole different side to Kristen and he wondered how she’d hidden it. Her bitter hatred for Marlena who had given up so much for her and the baby during the pregnancy left him very confused. As he stood at the doorway he called out to her, “Goodbye, Kristen and I am truly sorry. Maybe you’ll reconsider after you’ve had a chance to calm down and see things clearly.”
Appearing at the top of the stairs, she spoke with a worrisome undercurrent of rage toward him, something he never thought he would see, “Don’t count on it, John. You have seen the last of your boy!”
As the plane was being prepared to land in Colorado, John made a quick phone call to the Evan’s home. “Hello this is John Black and I would like to speak with Marlena, if she is interested in speaking with me.”
“Well let me see if she’s free at the moment.” He heard a little giggling and some shuffling noises.
Then Marlena’s voice, “Hello there stranger. When are you coming to see me? I’ve been planning my social calendar and I’ll have to see if I can fit you in.”
He chuckled and said, “Oh, it’s pretty booked up, huh? So how’s my competition shaping up?”
Giggling lightly, she responded playfully, enjoying the teasing repartee. “Well let’s see, there’s Mr. Thompson the old family friend, Joe Thomas who owns the butcher shop where my parents always get their meats. Bill Johnson, an old high school sweetheart and….” She stopped for a moment and then as if hesitant said, “Then there’s…no I better not, it might hurt your ego, seeing as how this is our first date and all.”
Marlena had peaked his curiosity with this, “Go on.. tell me about the next one, I can handle it,” he said bravely.
“Okay you asked for it. He’s tall, dark and handsome, and… oh what a kisser…” She stopped to let it sink in a little.
She had him for a moment and he asked, “Uh..Doc you’re not serious.. are you?”
Marlena giggled again and said, “Oh, wait a minute that’s you. I had you going there for a second though didn’t I?”
“Yea, but just for a second. So, is there a slot open for me tonight, say around 8:00?”
She paused as if checking and answered, “It just so happens there was a last minute cancellation, you’re in luck.”
“Well, fate does seem to be smiling on me,” and he laughed as he said it. “I can’t wait to see you Doc, I love you.”
He said those words so warmly it made her tingle all over and she wanted to say something about it, but instead said, “Now, Mr. Black this is our first official date and I don’t believe you know me well enough to say such sweet words to me.”
John choked down a laugh and replied apologetically, “You’re right, forgive me for being so forward. What I meant to say, Dr. Evans, was that I was so pleased to make your acquaintance the other night and I do so hope that tonight ends with us growing much closer.”
She giggled again and said, “That’s much better and I look forward to it as well. Until then, Mr Black.”
As he hung up the phone, he imagined her there in the kitchen sharing a laugh with her mother and getting ready for their date. He was so happy just to speak with her and he wanted the night to be perfect for her. Looking at a picture he carried with him, he spoke to her in his mind, ‘I love you so much Marlena and I promise you this courtship will be filled with romance and surprises at every turn. I want to give you the world, my love.. and I can hardly wait to hold you in my arms again.’
After awhile; however, his thoughts returned to the conversation he had with Kristen earlier. She had been so enraged and threatening. He had never seen her act that way and it was still shocking to him. John thought of her threat to keep his baby away from him and her anger toward Marlena. He tried valiantly to banish these thoughts as he approached the door, but he lost the battle and it showed in his face as he was greeted by a beautiful vision.
Marlena looked simply radiant in a black evening gown, her hair in a wonderful style and he had to say something, but his breath had left him for a moment. Finally he said, “Marlena you look….incredible!”
She smiled widely, satisfied by his response and said, “You look mighty handsome in your tuxedo, my friend. But I can see there’s something on your mind, why don’t you come on in and tell me about it.”
He started to silently comply, but really didn’t want to spoil the evening so he used her new line, “My.. Dr. Evans you are so observant, but I don’t want to spoil our first date with talk of my concerns. The reservation is for 8:30 sharp and they aren’t good about holding a table, I understand.”
“John, I can see that something is upsetting you and that is more important than our dinner date.” She patted the couch and bid him to sit with her.
John relented because he could tell from her expression she wasn’t going to let it go. “Okay, Doc.”
The silence spoke volumes. “John, does it have anything to do with your talk with Kristen?” she asked, assuming the worst from the wounded look in his eyes.
He was quiet awhile longer then said, “Oh Doc, she was so….angry and full of hate. I’ve never seen her act like that. I mean I knew she’d be hurt and angry but this was…..different. She used the baby to try and make me stay with her. She threatened to keep him away from me if I left her. She was so vindictive Marlena. I hardly knew what to say and as I tried to explain she got more enraged.” He paused, remembering the moment she had accused him of having an affair and he told Marlena, “She…accused me of carrying on an affair with you during her entire pregnancy and said I was planning with you all along to leave her.” He fought back tears that he hadn’t allowed to even form behind his eyes earlier.
“Oh, John I’m so sorry.” Marlena burned with anger at the woman who had caused them both so much pain and she wrapped her arms around him as he continued.
“Kristen knew that wasn’t true; she did it just to hurt me, saying that I had one before and this wasn’t any different. She said she would make sure the court saw it the same way and then she would get sole custody. That kiss the other day in the hospital was evidence of our affair, she said.”
Marlena held him as he struggled through the delayed reaction. Even if he had decided to leave Kristen, he still cared for her and seeing her true colors was obviously quite painful for him. Marlena waited until she thought he could hear what she needed to tell him. She would help him to see the whole truth about Kristen and when the conversation was over he would know that Kristen could not keep his son from him. She was glad of that; at least it would give him hope in regard to the custody issue, as he realized that a woman he had cared for had manipulated him and lied at every turn to keep him away from his true love.
Their first official date then was spent talking about the real Kristen, the one Marlena knew of, the one he had seen a glimpse of earlier. He was shocked and devastated to think he had spent more than a year of his life thinking she loved truly him and that she was a kind and loving woman, not at all like the evil person Marlena knew. He believed everything Marlena told him as soon as the words left her mouth and he started to recall all the questionable actions, all the lame excuses the other woman used for her sometimes strange and unpredictable behavior. It hurt so much that Kristen had so thoroughly betrayed his complete trust in her, and the fact that they both hurt Marlena in the process was excruciatingly painful for John to face.
When the bulk of Kristen’s lies were exposed, John immediately began to apologize, “Oh, Marlena she hurt you so much and I didn’t see it, I’m so…sorry about that. I should have…known.” He stood up and started to pace around the room his self-critical comments growing stronger, “Stefano got to you because of me…because of my….blindness to her true nature.”
He was shaking his head, feeling such self-reproach and then he started to cry for her suffering and had trouble getting his thoughts and words together, “Oh, Doc now I understand… so many things… why you would cry all those times… why you were so…angry with me the other night, why you tried to push me away…”
Stopping for a moment, as if making a difficult decision, he took another step away from her, looking at her in such a way as to memorize her beauty. John spoke remorsefully, initiating the only logical action in the face of such revelations about himself and Kristen, “I….should go now.” He moved closer to the door, turned toward her and finished, “I…just keep…hurting you, no matter how hard I try not to, I keep hurting you. Marlena, I’m just no good for you.”
She had heard more than enough and she stopped him in his tracks. “Okay now that is enough of that kind of talk, John.” She pointed to the couch and said very firmly, “Sit down!”
He did so quickly, seeing that she had a lot to say and that he’d better listen. “What happened to me was not your fault. I blame that evil…witch. She hurt both of us very much and I understand you are questioning yourself because of it. But I won’t have you blaming yourself for everything that’s happened and trying to walk away from me because you think you aren’t good enough.” She softened her tone and made him look her in the eye, “John, I love you and I always have. You are such a wonderful man and she never deserved you. You are kind and loving and sweet and I want to share the rest of my life with you.”
John tried to accept what she was saying, but still felt so guilty she had been hurt because of him. “But Doc, I…hurt you, how can you forgive me and say that you love me?”
“John, you didn’t hurt me intentionally. All you’re guilty of is keeping your obligation to your child and being too trusting of a woman you cared about. So, I do forgive you.. that is, if you’ll forgive me for waiting so long to tell you what I knew.”
“There’s not even a question about that, Marlena.” He reached out and touched her cheek so tenderly, melting into the love in her eyes. “You sacrificed your own happiness for the baby and that is so…amazing to me, Doc. I don’t know why though.. you have always been the kindest, most selfless person I have ever known. And I love you beyond measure Marlena. You are my rock, you know that… I could never live without you, not for a second.”
That incredible smile graced her face as she said, “Good, because you are stuck with me John Black. And I love you so very much.”
It was almost impossible to believe that she could love him that much… With joyful moisture forming, he asked her quietly, “Dr. Evans would it be too forward of me if I were to kiss you and hold you in my arms right now?”
She was silent for only a moment, then smiling shyly, she replied, “Well, I guess it would be allright,” and he held her gently and then captured her mouth in a spine shattering kiss that promised her so much more in the days, weeks, and months to come.
They were both breathless when they broke the embrace and they silently drank in the sight of each other, as if gazing at something brand new. It was in a way….a brand new love as they had loved this way before when he believed he was someone different, but sadly had to let it go. Then when they loved again, she was not free and sharing their love caused them both intense pleasure and tremendous pain. But this time it would be different. They were both free to love, finally free of the guilt they had carried like a heavy weight around their shoulders, a burden which had kept them apart for far too long.
This courtship would be about the joy of rediscovering their love, their laughter, their incredible sexual passion, and of course the rock solid trust and friendship they had always shared would be there as a firm foundation. It would be a grand and glorious time….
John had decided to surprise Marlena and planned a wonderful day for her. He called her at a reasonable hour and asked if she was free for the day, “Marlena, I want to thank you again for helping make sense out of everything last night and as my way of showing my appreciation I’d like you to spend the day with me, if you’re free that is..” he teased.
She was thrilled at the suggestion but didn’t say that, “Well…the whole day, hmm, I better check my schedule again,” and there were those familiar shuffling noises. “It just so happens that my entire day is free; fate truly is smiling on you, Mr. Black.”
“Good, Ms. Evans, I’ll be there in an hour and bring your gear for cold weather, just in case. I don’t want to spoil the surprise so I can’t tell you any more.”
“Are you sure you can’t give me just a little hint, John? I might be able to arrange a little reward for you if you do,” she asked with that sweet voice he found so hard to resist.
She was going to make this courtship long and painful. ‘Like Abe said… a lot of cold showers,’ he thought as he decided the look on her face would make missing out on the reward worth it. “No, I’m not telling you any more, you’ll have to wait until we get there, Marlena.”
His resistance was better than she thought, but then this was over the telephone. She smiled as she imagined how these conversations would go if she were there in front of him. “Hmm, well if you insist, but you don’t know what you’re missing!”
He groaned as he imagined her meaning and then replied, “Uh…Doc trust me.. I know what I’m missing. You are really going to make this courtship deal rough on me, aren’t you?”
She laughed and used his word, “Yep. See you in an hour, Mr. Black.”
“See you then, Doc.. I mean.. Doctor Evans,” he said chuckling at her teasing demeanor as he hung up the phone. ‘Oh Doc, I want to make you so happy. You deserve the best of everything and I plan on giving it to you,’ he told himself.
A short time later there was a ring at the bell; Marlena checked her watch, thinking it was too soon to be John and she wondered what it could be. She opened the door to another delivery man. It was from a local florist, a dozen long stem roses with a card that read:
Marlena,
Thinking of you makes my heart skip a beat
I look forward to our day together
See you very soon,
John
She was going to fall under his spell if she wasn’t very careful. He knew just what to do and say to melt her heart and bring joyful tears to her eyes. Oh John, this courtship is going to be tough on me too. “Waiting to be with you will be sooo difficult, but we are going to wait,” she said trying very hard to convince herself she could resist him. Marlena breathed in the wonderful aroma of the flowers and ran to show them to her mother before getting ready for whatever the day held in store. John was making her feel like a giddy school girl, and it was glorious.
John had a few more calls to make so that their day and hopefully night would be perfect. He got busy and then still found himself rushing out the door of the hotel to make it on time. ‘Oh, Marlena I hope this is fun for you. I want to fill your life with fun and laughter from now on,’ he thought as he drove to get her.
When the bell rang Marlena was ready and had the coats, hats, gloves, etc that he suggested ready. She answered the door immediately as she was anxious to know what he had planned. “Hi there, Mr. Black… how are you this morning?”
“Well Ms. Evans, I am wonderful now that I am with you,” he said as he gently took her hand and kissed it. “And how are you?”
Marlena found herself staring into his blue eyes and it was hard to concentrate on an answer, then she quickly recovered so as not to give herself away, “Uh, fine, I’m just fine, so where are we going?”
John hadn’t missed the hesitation. ‘So she *is* affected by me too; good I won’t be the only one who has to work at this courtship,’ he concluded. “I’m not telling you anything so you might as well get in the car and just enjoy the ride,” he responded with a playful smile.
They rode in silence for awhile, both stealing glances at each other then looking away, not wanting the other to notice. Yet both were aware of the glances being exchanged; this was the nervous tension of courtship and it was as wonderful as it was anxiety producing for John and Marlena. They were starting all over and yet there was a foundation of friendship and they could tease and have fun with that in the background.
‘This is going to be a blast,’ thought John gleefully. ‘If I can just make it through the nights without her next to me. How am I going to stop myself from wanting to tear her clothes off when she so much as kisses me?‘ he asked himself as he glanced longingly at her sitting next to him, looking so sexy in her blue jeans and ski jacket.
Marlena was having similar thoughts. ‘How in the world am I going to resist him when he romances me and looks at me with that grin and those gorgeous eyes? This is going to be harder than I thought,’ she concluded. She redoubled her efforts to remind herself of the reasons for waiting. ‘Now why was that again?‘ she asked herself silently, as she stole another glance at the man she had loved for so many years now.
It seemed like the trip lasted such a short time as they spent the drive enjoying the mountain views and glimpses of wildlife along the way. Soon they reached their destination. It was a ski resort at the continental divide. Marlena had suspected as much, but hadn’t wanted to spoil John’s surprise and was still happy to go skiing with him. It had been a long time since she had gone and this would be lots of fun. “Well, we’re here Marlena, let’s go. Don’t get the wrong impression, but I got us a room to go back and relax between ski runs. I hope that’s okay with you, Doctor Evans.”
She smiled warmly and then said, “No, I trust you completely Mr. Black,” and then under her breath, “about as far as I can throw you.” Marlena waited across the lobby as John handled the business and he was finished very quickly.
“We’re all set,” he said as took her hand and led her to the room. He had a surprise for before they hit the slopes. As they arrived at the room, John opened the door and in it was a whole spread of her favorite foods and a bottle of her favorite wine chilling in a bucket of ice. The table was set with fine china, candles were already lit and soft music playing on the stereo, a fire in the fireplace. The drapes were open, revealing a spectacular view of the ski slopes.
She melted at his preparations for her pleasure and she couldn’t resist saying how touched she felt as a few tears slipped down her cheek, “Oh, John how could you possibly have had enough time to plan and arrange all of this?”
It gladdened him to see her happy, and his eyes were shining with love as he replied, “So, you like it? I…had lots of help and I’ve been thinking about how to please you since we talked the other day.”
She made the first move, taking him in her arms and planting a powerfully passionate kiss that took him by surprise. He found his breath leave him for a moment as she said, “Does that answer your question?”
John replied in a weak voice, mesmerized by her effect on him, “I….yea…I think it does.” He felt the familiar rush of desire and he began to return her kiss and then quickly backed off saying, “Doc, we…uh we better start to eat some of this food… because… well… it is really good, you know.” He was nervous and afraid if he touched her, his temptation would be too great to resist, so he walked across the room to cool down. He didn’t want to do anything to push her for more than she wanted to give.
Marlena realized what he was doing and decided to tease him, “Oh, you are so right, this wonderful spread does look really delicious. I’d like to have some of the strawberries, how about you?” She said it as she took one and took a bite and then swirled in the whipped cream in a seductive manner, moving close to him. This move accomplished exactly what she had hoped as she saw him react by gasping and taking a step back. Then Marlena made another move toward him and placed the strawberry half in his mouth and half in hers and kissed him. When their lips met, John was filled with overwhelming desire for her and he responded passionately to her kiss. She pulled out of the embrace, satisfied she had such a powerful effect on him and she smiled at his dazed expression. “John maybe we should sit across the room from each other while we eat, what do you say?”
John was still reeling from the effects of their brief intimate contact and found it hard to focus on anything but his physical sensations. “I…uh…I think I need some…fresh air. I’m…. just going to step outside a minute,” he stammered as he went out on the terrace.
Marlena told herself, ‘You are so cruel Marlena. You tell him he has to wait and then you go and tempt him like that. Well after what he put me through this past year he deserves a little teasing,’ she told herself, but she didn’t want to make it too tough on the man. Therefore, she resolved not to make such a bold move for awhile. Marlena would let nature take its course.
They shared a nice quiet meal in front of the fire and talked about everything that they hadn’t discussed in awhile, sharing new hopes and dreams. The closeness was already deepening and both could easily have given in to passion as they relaxed near the fire’s warmth. John found it impossible not to imagine her lying naked in the soft flickering shadows of the fire. He started to kiss her and run his hands up and down her back and felt the overwhelming desire that threatened to control him completely. John knew he had to physically move away or he would try to take her immediately. His breathing was ragged and his mind clouded over with thoughts only of her body melded with his. He stood up saying, “Marlena, I….I can’t do this. I have to get out of here, now or….”
“I’m sorry, John. I should have realized when we sat down over here how it would affect you. John, I want you to know that I’m not trying to hurt you, but I don’t think we should be intimate right away. A lot has happened and we have some issues to resolve. Sleeping together would just complicate that process, do you understand?”
He was truly struggling to control his impulses as he replied, nodding his head, “Yes, I do, but this is…” He stopped, took a deep breath and then said, “Marlena…I’m sorry, but I…have to go now. I’ll meet you downstairs in the lobby, okay?” he asked, as he backed out of the door while trying to clear his head, yet unable to keep from staring at her sensuous curves and her beautiful face.
A few minutes later she found him in the lobby of the lodge getting the ski equipment together for the day on the slopes. He didn’t look up as she approached him, feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable about what had just happened between them. She touched him on the arm and he turned to her, “I’m sorry I ran out on you, Marlena. This is harder than I thought. When you’re close to me, all I can think of.. is making love to you,” he said nervously.
“John, I’m sorry. This is tough for me too, but I really think we should take some time first.”
He nodded his head and then said, “My mind understands, but my body doesn’t get it. I don’t know what to do, Doc my desire was so….strong I could hardly breathe when we were in the room just now.” She wanted to make him laugh about it because he seemed so tense, so she smiled at him and said, “Take a cold shower?”
John couldn’t help but laugh and he felt better about the situation and then he said, “Well let’s go skiing now and figure this out later.”
They spent the day on the ski slopes with Marlena spending a good deal of the time on her backside, John helping her up every time. He was good about not teasing her too much when she fell. As the day wore on they started to get tired and their reaction times were slower, including John’s. As Marlena got off the lift for what they had decided would be their last run of the day, she slipped again. John started laughing and moved to help her, but because he was tired now he fell over also. They ended up toppling over each other a good distance down the slope, laughing all the way. Marlena landed on top of John in a huge snowbank against the fence.
They looked at each other to make sure no one was hurt and then they started giggling hysterically at their predicament. Neither had much strength to get up off the ground so they stayed that way for a moment, staring into each other’s eyes longingly. It was a hypnotizing gaze for them both and at the same time they began to move in for a kiss. Both felt the rush of desire this time and gave in to it momentarily, as the kiss was long and deep. They broke the embrace simultaneously and got up to ski down the slope without speaking a word. Each was lost in thought about what that moment had meant. Was it a signal that they were ready sooner than discussed or that the struggle affected them equally and they would both have to be on guard?
When they finally got back to the Ski Lodge, they were worn out. It was late afternoon and they had a long drive back to Denver. John didn’t want to make the drive so he made a suggestion he prayed she would go for, “Marlena, we’re both really wiped out. What do you think about staying over night and driving back after skiing again for awhile in the morning?”
“To tell you the truth I was just thinking of asking you the same question. Why don’t you go get us another room and I’ll go buy myself something to wear tonight and tomorrow and meet you back here in a little while?” “It’s a deal, see you soon, Doc,” he said as he leaned in for a peck on the cheek. ‘That was safe,’ he thought, ‘I can handle that.’
After checking on the room situation, John took the time to walk around the lodge and admire the view of the mountains that surrounded it. It was absolutely gorgeous. Then he spotted Marlena in one of the shops; she was buying a nightgown and as she held it up he instantly imagined her in it and standing before him in the room. He shook his head and tried to tear himself away from the shop window, but couldn’t quite manage it. She looked happy, really happy and it warmed his heart to think he had even a little to do with putting a wide smile on her pretty face. ‘Oh Doc, I love you so very much and I hope I can keep you smiling for the rest of your sweet life.’ After staring a moment longer, he decided it would be better, and most certainly safer, if he just went back to the lobby to wait for her.
A short time later, she came over to where he was sitting, carrying several shopping bags, something he couldn’t resist teasing her about, “So Marlena, do you think you have enough to wear for the next twelve hours or so? I mean you never know how the weather might change…”
She punched him playfully on the arm and answered, “Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve been shopping for myself and I just couldn’t resist some of these things.” Then she decided to tease him back and she pulled out an item of lingerie, only enough so that he got a peek at it. She saw his reaction and had to say, “Who knows… maybe one of these days or nights you might get to see this on me.” Then Marlena started for the elevator and called out quietly as she turned, “If you’re lucky..”
John groaned and then said, “Okay, Doc I won’t tease you about shopping any more, I promise.”
As they rode in the elevator she asked, “So John how far apart are our rooms? Just far enough to keep us out of trouble, I hope,” she said with a wink. John hesitated before answering, “Uh…Marlena you aren’t going to believe this, but…well, there aren’t any more rooms. The one we were in earlier is it.” As he said it, he looked at her apologetically, wondering if she’d trust his word. Marlena laughed and then replied with a disbelieving tone, “John, you don’t honestly expect me to fall for that one do you? This is midweek very late in the ski season in a huge resort and you got the last room, come on…” He looked at her incredulously and said, “You think I’m making this up just to get you alone in a room, I’m shocked Miss Evans! Would I do something like that?” Scrutinizing his expression, she replied tentatively, “Maybe…if you thought I’d buy your excuse.”
He stopped the elevator, then folded his arms in front of him, challenged her, “Go on, go check at the desk and see if I’m making it up!”
She smiled and stared into his eyes to see if he were bluffing, but couldn’t be sure, so she did go to the desk. John exited the elevator and followed a step or two behind her. When she stepped up close to the desk to ask, the clerk told her that two college ski clubs had booked last minute Spring ski trips and the rooms had filled just after John and Marlena checked into the one room. Marlena walked back over to where John was standing, his arms still crossed.
He stood there waiting for her to say something, his face bearing a smug expression, “Well?” “Okay so you didn’t make it up,” she said as she went back over to the elevator. He hesitated a minute while admiring her retreating form, then jogged over to where she stood waiting and said with a wounded look on his face, “Hey, wait a minute, don’t I get an apology? You offended my sensibilities, thinking I was being sneaky when I wasn’t.” She turned toward him and giggled, “Offended your sensibilities? Oh Please, John Black.. that is just the sort of thing you would have tried if you thought you could have gotten away with it.”
“So, I guess that means no apology, huh?” he said pretending to be hurt by her incorrect assumption about his intentions. Marlena sighed and then reluctantly said, “Oh, allright, I’m sorry I assumed the worst of your intentions Mr. Black.” He smiled and then stole a quick kiss and said, “Apology accepted, now let’s go to our room, Miss Evans,” he said, gesturing for her to enter the elevator once again. He had such a mischievious expression on his face and it left her wondering if he had something else up his sleeve.
When they entered the room, the fireplace was already burning again and the stereo on, etc. ‘How does he manage to pull all this off without me seeing him in the planning stages?’ she asked herself. She looked at him and smiled warmly in acknowledgement of the great efforts he was making at romance. John felt light of heart and returned her smile with warmth as he took her ski wear and went to put their wet outerwear in the dryer. “Relax for awhile and I’ll be right back, okay?”
Marlena decided to get a quick shower and then put on her nightgown and robe to settle in for the night. It had been a long day and she was tired. As she was coming out of the bathroom in her nightgown, having left the robe on the bed, she looked up to see John staring at her. He stood completely still, enraptured by her exquisite beauty and he was speechless. This view was infinitely better than what he imagined earlier and he couldn’t think of a thing to say. Then finally he said in broken phrases, “Uh…Doc…um, could you..ah..” He had to close his eyes to concentrate on what he wanted to say, “Please put on your robe?”
She laughed as she could see how he was affected by her and even though she had not done it on purpose it felt good to know he responded so powerfully to her after so much time had passed. Marlena did as he asked and then said, “John, you can open your eyes now, honey. I see by your reaction that you like my choice of nightgowns.”
“You could say that, yes,” he replied as he consciously slowed his breathing down to normal. He looked around the room and then started backing away from her and said as he stood with his back to the door, “Marlena, I….think I..better sleep in the lobby. I…don’t know if us being in the same room is such a good idea for me.” She walked over closer to him and said teasingly, “Oh, John now you’re a big boy you can handle a little heat can’t you?”
John gazed at her longingly, wanting to take her in his arms and kiss her passionately and then he recovered his senses and said, “Marlena, I had a wonderful day with you, but I think I better say goodnight and do what I just said. I”ll be down in the lobby if you need anything.” He tried to open the door while still looking at her with admiration.
Marlena wanted him to stay, but she realized she too would have great difficulty resisting temptation if he stayed in the room. “Oh, John. I don’t want you to go, but I still want us to wait for awhile. And I don’t think it’s fair you should have to sleep in the lobby. Look, we’re two adults and we can be self-disciplined, right?” she asked with pleading eyes.
Not able to tear his gaze away from her, he walked completely across the room again and said, “I’ll stay, but only on one condition. You can’t touch me or try to kiss me again because I won’t be able to stop myself. Doc, you look…. incredibly gorgeous to me right now and it’s all I can do to stay away from you.”
Marlena flashed him a gleeful grin and then responded, “Oh, goody and yes I promise not to kiss you or touch you all night long.” She tried to change the subject as she watched him settle onto the couch across the room from her and couldn’t help but comment, “John are you going to stay all the way over there?” Shrugging his shoulders, he said with some frustration, “This is as close I can get and trust myself not to take you in my arms and try to make love to you. If you want me to stay here tonight this is the way it has to be, okay?”
Well he is taking me seriously, that’s a good sign she thought, but we have to think of a way to cut this tension between us. This is going to be agonizing if we can’t think of something. Marlena glanced back over at John who was working hard not to keep staring at her in the soft glow of the fire’s light. “John, do you want to talk about anything?” He was silent, contemplative, and then surprised her by saying, “Yes, there is something. Doc, do you…have any guilt feelings left, about our affair?”
Marlena was unprepared for that at this moment and was going to put him off, but then she saw the expression on his face and said, “Oh, I don’t know…..I’ve tried to put that to rest.. Why, do you?” she asked knowing that he did. She believed it had been what kept him from coming to her about his love a long time ago. John let out a long breath and said, “Yea, I…know now that you love me and you say you want a future with me, but I can’t shake that little voice in the back of my head that says, You don’t deserve her, you stole her heart away and ruined her family.”
“Oh, John. I wish you could get past all that. What happened with your identity wasn’t your fault and you know the love we shared during our marriage was very real. If you had my heart it was because I gave it to you, not because you stole it from Roman. I loved you then and I love you now, John for who you are as a person, not for the name.”
“Doc, I know that in my heart and I believe you, it’s just I’ve tried to put myself in his place since I was him for a long time, and a part of me keeps saying it’s not fair. He…loved you first.”
John stood up and looked into the fire as he struggled with whether to share the next part of his musings. “In my dreams.. whenever I’ve thought of having a life with you there is always this scene where he comes back and says he still loves you and forgives you for the affair and you take him back.” A lone tear escaped his eye, as he spoke softly, telling her the last part of it, “You always turn to me and say, I’m sorry John.. but I loved him first, and then you leave with him. I can’t seem to get that fear out of my heart and mind, Marlena.”
Marlena was touched and she could feel his pain in telling her so honestly how he felt. “John, I’m sorry for how that must make you feel, but it’s just a dream. I’m here with you now and you need to trust in what we share.” Still not convinced, he asked her the question that begged, “Marlena, if he were here right now and he said all that and knelt at your feet, what would you do?”
She hesitated for the briefest of moments and he walked toward the door, having made the wrong assumption. He was afraid now. She went to him and made him look in her eyes, “I’m only going to say this once, John and then I don’t want to visit this again, okay?”
He could see she was serious and he nodded his head saying, “Okay, Doc.”
” I loved Roman once, with my whole heart, but that is in the past now. John you need to hear this and accept it completely or your doubts will destroy our future. I love you now, and I have no interest in reconciling with Roman. *You* are the one who is in my heart and soul and nothing that he does or says can ever change that. Do you believe me? Can you trust in the strength of our love, John?” she asked, holding both of his hands in hers and gazing at him tenderly.
He was overwhelmed by the sincerity in her voice and the love that shined at him in her eyes and it brought a sigh of relief and a misty joy to his eyes. Taking her in his strong arms, he said happily, “Oh, Marlena thank you, I needed to hear that. I love you so much. The thought of giving you all of myself and then having you taken away again just paralyzed me somehow. I won’t bring it up again, I’m sorry if I upset you with this, but it’s something that’s been on my mind off and on.”
She kissed him, breaking her promise, but he didn’t seem to mind as he responded instantly to the sweet moist contact. She said then, “It’s okay, I think we’ve needed to have that conversation for a long time.” John and Marlena held each other for awhile, relaxing in the closeness; some of the tension seemed to ease as the sense of security in the relationship increased for them both, after talking so openly.
John was the one to break the embrace and he wasn’t nearly as anxious and tense as he had been previously. Feeling much more confidant, he said, “Well, sleep tight, Marlena. I’ll just go on over to the couch now. I love you.. beautiful.”
“And I love you, I’ll see you tomorrow handsome. Sweet dreams.” And they both settled down into slumber, their bond growing ever stronger as the hours passed, even as they slept.
John woke up before his love and sat in a chair satisfied just to sit there watching her sleeping form. Sighing contentedly, he said inside his mind, ‘Oh.. man.. she is so… incredibly beautiful, and she… loves me…’ He felt more joy than he could ever remember feeling because this renewed love came at a time when he thought all hope for them as a couple was lost. ‘Thank you God for giving me this chance at having a life with her. I truly believed our love was destined to go unfulfilled because of my actions and I promise I won’t let her down this time.’ He was staring at her and wishing….
“John, uh John….good morning..” Marlena said as she awakened to see him sitting across from the bed with a slightly dazed expression. “Huh? Oh, Marlena.. good morning, how did you sleep?” he said, sitting upright and trying not to be too obvious about what had been on his mind. “I…uh was just thinking and well..” She smiled at him, he was so cute when he was nervous about something. “It’s okay John, I know…”
He looked down as a slight blush came to his cheeks and he asked, “Am I that obvious?”
“Yep,” she said, using his little word. “Would you like a good morning kiss, my friend because I know I would.”
“Yes, but I…don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” he said anxiously as he stole a glance at her body in the nightgown without the robe around her.
She took a cue and put the robe on quickly. It really wasn’t fair to tempt him on purpose. “There is that better?” “No, but it’s certainly safer,” he said with a hint of regret. Then he did kiss her, with only a fraction of the passion he wanted to share with her and then he backed off before the temperature rose significantly. “So, are you up for a little bet?”
Wondering where he was headed, she hedged, “Depends on what we’re betting about.”
He stood up and moved away from the bed so that if she got any ideas he would be in a position to duck. “Well, I was just thinking earlier about how many times you might fall down in a morning of skiing and I thought we could bet on the number,” he said teasingly, ready to run if need be.
She had been completely unprepared for that remark and she did throw a pillow at him while trying not to give him satisfaction that he had gotten to her. Then she laughed and said, “You think you’re so funny, don’t you? Well, you just wait and see. Maybe I won’t fall at all and I’ll beat you down the mountain, John Black!”
“So, are you in a betting frame of mind, Dr. Evans? I know what I want if I win,” he said leering at her.
“Why, Mr. Black, whatever gave you the impression I was that kind of girl? I am affronted that you would even think that way,” she said in mock offense.
“Uh….Marlena I didn’t say what it was that I wanted now, did I? Just what did your dirty little mind come up with?” he said, enjoying the teasing atmosphere.
Marlena had to admit that he hadn’t said, but the way he looked at her had given her a distinct impression of his interest. “Okay, smarty pants what did you have in mind if you win the bet?”
Hesitating momentarily, he looked at her with great appreciation and tried to think of something else quickly, “Um…I would like a real first date when we get back to your parents place. I want to take you to dinner, dancing, a moonlight drive in the mountains, and if I’m lucky maybe a little parking, you know the usual.”
“Hmm, gee that’s such a tough decision. She hesitated exaggeratedly and then said, “Yes, in fact let’s skip the bet altogether, you win. No, wait! What do I get if I win?” she asked curious about what he might say.
John didn’t have a ready answer for her. “Well, let’s see, umm.. I could pay for some cooking lessons when we get back to Salem?”
He raised his eyebrows and then ran swiftly toward the door, calling behind him, “See you down in the lobby, Doc,” because it might be more than a pillow she threw at him for that remark.
“I’ll get you for that John Black!” she called after him down the hallway. Then she closed the door and decided to get a shower and plan a payback for his slam about her cooking. ‘This is so much fun, I”m glad I told him I wanted a courtship period. Now, how can I pay him back?’ Then it came to her and she couldn’t wait. “All bets are off John, it’s a fight to the finish!”
A short time later, Marlena sauntered into the area of the lodge where she once again found John getting their ski equipment ready for their run down the mountain. She cleared her throat loudly and he looked up and immediately dropped the skis and poles he was holding when he saw what she was wearing and how sexy she looked. She had on a snug fitting pair of ski pants that flattered her shapely curves and a beautiful sweater that emphasized her ample chest. John felt his breath leave him and his heart started to pound at the sight of her. He was completely captivated by her beauty and once again found himself speechless.
Marlena smiled at his response and spoke for him, ” I guess that means you like my new outfit, honey..” John had to make a conscious effort not to stare at her and calm his physical reaction to her appearance so he could speak to her, “Uh….yea, it’s…uh….nice, very.. nice.” He stood completely still and couldn’t take his eyes off of her and his reply was absent minded. Teasingly she asked, “John, did you want to pick up those skis, honey? We can’t go down the mountain without them, now can we?”
Fumbling with them all the while trying desperately, but unsuccessfully to tear his gaze away from her, he practically fell on top of the equipment. She just laughed and decided to help him out with it, having fun with him, “My my.. you seem to be all jittery this morning, maybe you drank a little too much coffee, sweety.”
John finally felt his breathing slow down somewhat as he looked away from her. “Yea, that’s it.. too much coffee,” he said while picking up the poles and handing her a set. He started to head out toward the lift and couldn’t resist one last look before she put on her jacket. “Doc, um you look…. incredible in that outfit.”
“Well, thank you, John I’m glad you like it,” she said as she winked and walked by him swinging her hips a little more than usual.
John groaned and followed after her like a puppy in heat and then it dawned on him, “Okay, I promise no more jokes about your cooking, now please stop driving me out of my mind, would you?” She laughed again and replied, “Oh, so you figured that out did you? Let this be a lesson to you Johnny boy, two can play this teasing game.” And with that she got on the ski lift and headed out for their first morning run.
John followed and hoped to God he could find a way to either resist the temptation to find a secluded place in the woods and make love to her or convince her to change her mind about waiting. He knew he couldn’t hold out for too long, especially if she kept wearing clothes like she had on now. ‘Doc, you are really making me crazy, and you know it don’t you?’ he thought as he picked up speed and came up close to her.
Then a brilliant idea came to him, a way to tease her back and make sure she knew what she was missing by holding back. He passed her up and soon after making sure she knew it was him whose had skied past her, he attempted to fake a fall that made it look like he was hurt, only it ended up that he wasn’t faking. He had inadvertently landed in such a way as to twist the knee he had injured several years back when they had been trapped in that warehouse. Marlena saw him go down and skiied over to him quickly, looking at him with concern. He grimaced and laughed at the same time and she was puzzled by his reaction to the fall. “John, why are you laughing, I can see you’re in pain?”
John groaned as he repositioned himself and then answered with a strange smile on his face, “Oh, it’s just a little ironic that’s all.” He hesitated, but decided to tell her the truth since his plan had been spoiled, “I….was trying to fake a fall so I could get you over here and then I planned to kiss you and let you know what you were missing out on by waiting to be with me. It looks like the joke’s on me though because I really did hurt myself. It’s that old knee injury, I twisted it bad Doc,” he said, feeling mighty embarrassed.
She chuckled and then looked at him sympathetically saying, “Hold on here, I’ll go get the ski patrol to come and get you.. but it serves you right for planning something that would scare me John, just to make a point.” Then she leaned in to give him a kiss that left him breathless, whispering softly in his ear as she pulled away, “Is that what you were thinking we were missing, John?”
Marlena had done it again, “Did you know that unfulfilled desire can cause a man my age to have a heart attack; you wouldn’t want that on your conscience would you? Doc, you and this courtship are going to be the death of me, you know that!” he cried frustratedly. She laughed and winked seductively, going along the same theme, “Oh, but what a way to go.. I’ll be back with some help in a minute, you just sit tight, sweetheart.”
John sighed resignedly, nodding silently as he leaned back and waited for help to arrive. In spite of the intense pain in his knee, he began to laugh at himself and the effect his physical proximity to Marlena was having on him. Watching her ski down the mountain, he spoke of his predicament out loud, “I love you Marlena Evans, but if I have to wait much longer….”
It was only a short time before the Ski Patrol came to get John, taking him down the mountain to the local hospital to have his knee checked out. Marlena was waiting for him at the bottom of the run and stood by while the paramedics transferred him to the ambulance for transport to the hospital. Marlena hadn’t been able to resist telling them when they asked for details about how he had been injured, and she shared a good laugh with them about it while John overheard and felt totally embarassed.
By the time they were underway, the knee had started to throb intensely and it was quite swollen, but because he was embarassed, John tried to hide how much pain he was feeling. Marlena could see right through him; his fist was clenched and she caught a grimace every so often, but decided not to rub it in and just held his hand in silent support. After awhile, not wanting him to think she was unconcerned, she asked about it, “It really hurts, doesn’t it?”
He hated to admit it and shut his eyes tight and then answered honestly, “Yea, it’s getting pretty bad, now, Doc… I must have messed it up but good,” he said feeling upset with himself for horsing around like he had.
“I guess this means no dinner and dancing tonight,” she said trying to make light, a hint of disappointment slipping out.
He apologized with a sigh, “I’m really sorry Marlena, I wanted tonight to be really special for you and I blew it. Some romance this is turning out to be, huh?”
She tried not to make him feel any worse than he obviously already did, “That’s okay, John we’ll go another time, I’m sure.”
After going to x-ray and being examined by the ER doctors, John waited to be examined by the orthopedist and to get his opinion about the injury. “I have a bad feeling about this, Doc how about you?”
She didn’t want to admit it, but it had been a long wait and that meant the doctors were consulting about the x-ray results. “Yes, I’m sorry to say, but I do too, if it was just a strain or a sprain they would have discharged you by now.”
John sighed and said with concern, “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”
A few minutes later, the orthopedic surgeon entered, “Hello, I’m Dr. Joe Thompson, the orthopedist and I’ve just finished looking at the films. I’d like to take a look at that knee before giving a final opinion about your injury, okay?”
Marlena had left the room briefly just before the surgeon came in. As the physician examined his knee it was all John could do at this point not to cry out in pain, but he was still feeling funny about how he had been hurt, so he held it back. The doctor noticed his grimace and as he pushed on another spot said, “I’ll bet this really smarts about now, doesn’t it?”
John let out an involuntary cry at that last touch, “OW!. yea, I guess it does, Doctor.”
Marlena quietly entered the room unnoticed as the doctor paused a moment and then told John, “Well, I was going to say you tore your medial collateral ligament and strained a tendon or two, but after reviewing the films and examining you I think it’s only a partial tear. The good news is you won’t need any surgery. It will probably be a long haul though, lots of therapy” Then he chuckled lightly and said, “By the way, I heard about how you hurt yourself, I hope she is worth it, Mr. Black.”
Taken by surprise initially, he choked on his reply and then recovered to say, “She is, doctor.. believe me, she is.”
Marlena made a noise to alert them she was in the room now and the doctor turned and gave her a smile and then nodded at John as he said to Marlena, “Keep him out of trouble, he’ll need your help with that, no doubt. I’ll leave the prescriptions for pain medication and the therapy out at the desk for you. Good luck.”
She smiled and said, “I will, don’t worry, and thank you, doctor,” as he left the examining room.
John waited until he had gone and then said to Marlena with another slightly embarassed expression, “You heard us didn’t you?”
“Um hmm, thanks for the compliment, John,” she answered with a satisfied smile on her face.
“You’re welcome, Doc.” He paused a moment then expressed his frustration with the situation, “Man, I can’t believe this is happening. I had such plans for us, Marlena and dinner and dancing was just the beginning. I’m really sorry I messed all that up for us with my stupid stunt.”
“John, don’t be too hard on yourself, we can still have fun. It will just be a little different than we envisioned, that’s all.”
He looked at her so warmly she melted inside as he said, “Marlena how is it that you always seem to find the bright spot through the darkness? You are one special person Marlena Evans. I love you so much.”
“And I love you so much. Now, I better call my parents and tell them to expect us both to spend the night at the house. I’ll be back, John.”
She left the room before he could protest. He berated himself while she was gone. “Good one Black, you sure screwed up this time.” What a lame stunt that was. Now most of your romantic plans are ruined. How in the heck am I going to romance her on a set of crutches? Darn it all. He soon decided he had better stop feeling sorry for himself and come up with some backup plans for romance, that didn’t require standing or serious physical exertion. Oh well, Doc was going to make we wait for that anyway,’ he thought and he smiled at his predicament, in spite of himself.
Marlena returned soon and stopped as she looked in on him. He looked so disappointed about being injured. She wanted to tease him some more about how he’d done it, but decided he was feeling bad enough about spoiling their plans that she left it alone. Instead she would try to cheer him up and make sure he forgot about the pain. “Hi, John. We’re all set to spend the night at my folks house tonight. Are you ready to go yet?”
John answered after a long moment of quiet as if he had to snap himself back to the present. “I guess so Marlena. I really am sorry about all this. I guess it does serve me right for trying to fake a fall earlier. But, I just wish it didn’t happen right in the middle of our courtship. I wanted to make this whole time really special for you and now you’re stuck with a guy with a gimpy leg.”
She laughed in the face of his frustration and said, “John, this is no big deal, come on now. So, you hurt your leg, it’s not the end of the world you know. We can still have a wonderful time dating and getting reacquainted with you on crutches. Besides think of the bright side, it might be a little easier for you to.. resist temptation.”
“That’s the bright side?” he asked, the frustration sneaking back.
Marlena giggled at his response and the self- recrimination in his voice. “John, really come on.. snap out of it, so you hurt your knee. Maybe it won’t end up taking all that long to heal. Besides, think of all the fun we’ll have telling everybody how it happened when we get back home,” she said teasingly knowing he wouldn’t like the idea of explaining to anyone.
She realized from his immediate response that she was right on that count. “Oh, no you don’t, Doc,” he pleaded with her, “You have to promise me right now that you won’t tell a soul that I got hurt because I was faking a fall so I could get you to kiss me. I’ll never hear the end of it if you tell everybody, especially Abe and Bo, please!”
“John did I ever tell you that you are absolutely adorable when you beg,” she said giggling at his anxiety. “Hmm, now I’ve got something on you, Black. I wonder how I can use this to my advantage.”
John was sweating it now, nervously shifting his position on the examining table. She was going to milk this for all it was worth so he had to come up with an incentive for her to agree. “Okay, how about if I promise never to make another joke about your cooking or your horrible coffee if you keep this secret for me. Is it a deal, Doc?” he asked with pleading eyes.
“My what kind of coffee?” she asked implying he needed to correct himself quickly or lose the opportunity. “Not only do you have to not joke about them you need to compliment me on them or the deal’s off.”
“Oh boy do you drive a hard bargain, Doctor Evans. Okay, your wonderful coffee. I promise never to tease you about either of those things again and I will try to compliment you about them whenever I can. Now do you promise?”
“Yes, I promise, John.” She giggled again as he breathed a sigh of relief when she agreed. Leaning in to give him a quick kiss she said triumphantly, “Oh… I just love it when I have the upper hand.”
“Yea… yea yea… ” he said, feeling chagrined. “I love you, Doc… and once this leg heals… you can prepare yourself for some… spine shattering lovemaking…” he said, trying to change the subject, seeing from her expression that it worked.
“Oooh… when does that physical therapy start?” she said with a wink and a smile, leaning in a little bit
“Now….. right now”, he said, pulling her closer still for a more meaningful kiss, his lips hovering over hers for a fleeting moment before parting them with his tongue. He took her breath away… “Oh.. John… I just love it when you kiss me like that…”
After the knee was wrapped, and he was released, John and Marlena went back to the Ski Lodge to collect their belongings and headed out for the return trip. Both were anxious to get back and settled, and to see Belle. John had only spent a few minutes with her in the time since Marlena had left Salem. As the couple drove away John glanced up at the Lodge and smiled, thinking how strange it was to feel such closeness without having shared their bodies in the way he would have liked. ‘Oh, Marlena,‘ he thought, ‘you can never really know how very deep my love for you goes. It is an incredible force I cannot control, and it consumes me when I so much as catch a glimpse of you or stand near. I am so thankful you are giving me this one chance.’
Marlena glanced back at him and wondered what he was thinking. “John, I love you and I was impressed with all the romantic gestures you made for me. That was all so sweet, you know just what to do to melt my heart, you know that?”
John smiled and reached out a hand to touch her soft, silky hair and then her cheek saying, “You know I would do just about anything to bring a smile to that pretty face of yours, Marlena. You must know by now how much you mean to me.”
“Yes, I do. John I am so glad you finally came to me with your love. I truly thought our chance at happiness together was lost.”
“So did I, Doc. It’s all so strange to me; I really thought you didn’t love me in this way any more, and I was afraid if I came to you with my feelings you would turn me away. And that would have been worse than the wondering and wishing. It would have taken away that small glimmer of hope I’ve held deep inside all these years, then I would have been truly lost.”
Hearing him talk about his love for her in this way touched her heart, “Oh, John, you amaze me.” She paused a minute and then asked, “How could we both have wasted so much time with all that painful wondering? For goodness sake why weren’t we honest with each other?”
He knew, “Because of the affair, you know that is what kept me from going to you. My guilt practically consumed my life ever since the day of Belle’s christening Doc. The….agony I saw in your eyes, in your whole body that day..” He found it hard to rid himself of that image, even now, “I swore I would never be the cause of that kind of pain to you again and that memory controlled most of my choices concerning you for a very long time.”
Marlena couldn’t help but go back to the day herself. “I have to admit, on that day I felt such pain and a part of me blamed you, but John… we were both responsible for what happened, and I really think you need to let this go once and for all. It has more than served its purpose, don’t you think you’ve had enough?”
Shrugging his shoulders in response, he nodded and admitted she was right, “Yea, I guess I have, Doc. It’s just so hard sometimes to forgive myself. I can forgive others for some pretty horrible things, but myself.. that’s something else.”
She reached over and touched his leg, saying softly “I know, you’ve always expected so much more from yourself than everyone else. I think it’s time to forgive yourself, John. Can you do that for me?”
Giving her a loving gaze he replied, “For you, Marlena I would do anything, so yes I will forgive myself and we won’t talk about this any more. Then this courtship will truly be a new beginning for us.”
Marlena returned his warm expression, she agreed, “Yes it will, John.” We can be free to love the way we always should have loved. They appreciated each other and their openness in silence for awhile before she noticed his knee was hurting again and she suggested he relax and take another pain killer, and then maybe try to sleep for awhile.
John did as she suggested and soon after taking the medication fell asleep watching every breath she took. He felt so warm inside from the renewal of their love and totally at peace as he drifted slowly off to sleep. “I really love you Doc,” he said softly just before nodding off.
She smiled warmly, squeezed his hand, and answered in kind, “And I love you, John and I always have.” And then after he was sleeping she added, “my handsome sweet prince.”
The couple rode that way in silence until they arrived back at the Evan’s home. John slept most of the way and Marlena kept glancing over at him admiring his good looks and feeling so very thankful to back where she knew they both belonged, together in a romantic love relationship.
When John started to awaken, he noticed a few familiar landmarks and sat up in the seat saying, “Wow, that painkiller really knocked me out, didn’t it?”
She chuckled, “Yes, it did and all the effort you exerted to resist temptation took its toll as well I bet.”
“Oh, Doc did you have to remind me of that, I was doing so well since I…fell. You sure haven’t made this easy on me, you know that?”
Marlena smiled playfully so she would know she was mostly teasing, “Why should it be easy? I had to be without you for a long time and it was hard on me, so I think it’s only fair you should suffer a little. Besides, think how wonderful it will be when we are intimate again after waiting.”
He laughed at that and nodded with comprehension, “Oh, so this is payback time, huh? Well, I guess I can understand that and yes it will be wonderful, but… Doc, I swear I don’t think I can handle being in close quarters any more without…”
She had a coy expression as she interrupted him, patting his leg, “Oh, John, you flatter me so. You don’t give yourself enough credit my boy, I’m sure you’ll be just fine. We will definitely have separate rooms at my parents house.” John blushed at the thought of being caught by her parents and she laughed, surmising what he was thinking, but didn’t comment. Instead, she changed the subject, “So, are you anxious to see Belle baby?”
“Oh am I, I’ve missed her a lot and in spite of this,” he said pointing to his bandaged knee, “I’m glad we’re going to be staying together so I can be near her while we court. I was also thinking of going back or having someone bring Brady out here so he can share in this time, what do you think?”
Her smile was one that he swore could melt the polar ice caps and her eyes sparkled as she replied excitedly, “John, that is a terrific idea! I’ve really missed him since….well anyway, why don’t we have the nanny bring him out and then we’d have someone other than my parents to watch them when we go on dates at night?”
He leaned over to kiss her as the car pulled to a stop and said, “My thoughts exactly. You know it really is amazing how we start to think along the same lines when we’re together like this. That was always one of my favorite aspects of our relationship.”
“Me too, John,” she answered, remembering that other life, as she returned his kiss with passion that for a moment stole his breath. “Wow!” was all he had the ability to say as she broke the embrace, leaving him nearly breathless and certainly captivated.
When he thought of it, he felt in some ways like a college boy smitten with a young girl who wanted to take him home to meet her parents. However, this was a much more complicated scenario. It had been long many years since he had seen them and he was literally a different person then. This was really going to be strange and awkward because he knew Marlena had told them all about their history and this most recent turmoil. Even though they had accepted his identity at the time and treated him very well during his short time in marriage with Marlena, he knew they had loved Roman as a son and were likely very angry at John for the affair. He was sure they believed he had been the aggressor and was largely responsible for their daughter’s pain since then as well. John thought he had an uphill battle to even expect more than basic civility from them.
As they approached the door of her parent’s home, Marlena could see the anxiety on his face and asked, “John, are you okay?”
“I was just thinking how your parents probably feel toward me and I…. I’m not sure if I really want to go in there. I know they blamed me for the affair, and your divorce, didn’t they? They probably hate me for hurting you, Doc and I wouldn’t blame them,” he said with such regret and he dropped his head as he thought about it from their perspective.
“John,” she said warmly as she tipped his chin up so his eyes met hers, “Honey, I love you and they know it wasn’t just your fault. I told them we were both responsible for what happened and they know how much I love you now. John, they are forgiving people and they won’t treat you badly. Now come on, your daughter is waiting for you,” she said enthusiastically, hoping to lift his spirits.
He hoped she was right about what she’d said, but decided he had to face them anyway and this was as good a time as any other. He would just have to make a monumental effort to prove to them that he loved their daughter with all his heart and that he would never hurt her again. He would show them that he planned to make her happy every day for the rest of their lives together.
As they opened the front door, they were greeted very excitedly by their beautiful little girl, whose eyes lit up at the sight of them saying, “Daddy and Mommy, I missed you so much! Daddy, I’m so glad you’re here now. Mommy said we might be a family some day and I’m so glad cos that means Mommy won’t cry so much any more, right?”
John felt a dagger of guilt pierce his heart and mist forming in his eyes as he pulled Belle into a hug and then whispered in Marlena’s ear, “Oh, Doc I am so sorry I caused those tears. I know I can’t make up for the pain, but I promise to do everything in my power to bring only smiles and laughter to your life from now on.”
She felt the intensity of his promise and told him as she squeezed his hand reassuringly, “It’s okay, John you’re here with me now and our love will only grow stronger and deeper with time.”
John gazed into her eyes and saw the shape of his future, then silently thanked his Lord for giving them another chance at sharing their lives. He searched her eyes for a trace of the anger and blame he thought she must harbor toward him and saw something he couldn’t identify. This was not the time, but he would not forget. “I love you, Marlena and I will never hurt you like that again. I am yours completely, forever.”
Marlena put away the feelings Belle’s comments had evoked in her very quickly, but she thought he might have seen it in her eyes. The connection they had that was once soul deep seemed to be returning and they were beginning to sense each other’s thoughts and feelings again. She said only, “And, I love you too, John. Let’s go on into the house now, shall we?” she said in subdued tones.
As they stepped across the threshold, they were greeted by Marlena’s parents, and there was a slightly awkward silence that followed after brief introductory remarks. Then her father extended his hand to John at the same time as he made a joke about John’s injury, “So, I hear you hurt your knee trying to steal a kiss from my daughter!”
John’s face went beet red immediately, and he had to look away for a moment, then as he stared at Marlena with a ‘later for you’ look on his face, he stammered out his response, “I…well, it’s not…exactly like that, I…you see… she… well.. she was teasing me and I was going to tease her back and it…sort of backfired on me and I fell and re injured my knee,” he finished, his voice trailing off as he went along.
Marlena was laughing hard, enjoying his embarrassment as he tried to explain, as were her mother and father too. The laughter cut the tension and then they all knew it would be fine. John would become reacquainted with them and they would see that he truly loved Marlena and accept him as a future son-in-law again.
It was late in the evening and John and Marlena were sitting in the living room in front of a warm fire, not saying anything at all for a long while, just enjoying each other’s company. Marlena decided to break the silence and said, “See, I told you that my parents would be nice to you, John. Have they done anything to make you feel bad or indicate they are still angry with you?”
He paused before answering, playing with the fire irons, “Well, no but they watched every move I made as if they didn’t trust my intentions toward you. I guess I can understand them wanting to protect you. Maybe they think I’ll be with you for a while and then leave you or something, I don’t know.”
Putting a hand on his shoulder, she gently confronted him, “John, I think you’re reading too much into the situation here. They weren’t watching you like that. They were probably just trying to make sense out of what’s happened. When I got here I was….upset and they knew why and now all of a sudden you’re here with me and we went off skiing together. John it’s all pretty confusing to me, think how it must be for them. I mean you were newly married and have a newborn baby and then you come running out here to sweep me off my feet.”
Realizing what it must be like for them, he winced then blew out a long breath and agreed, “Of course.. they just don’t trust me to take care of you. I probably seem so impulsive and fickle to them. I’m sorry that I didn’t make sense out of my feelings and ask you about yours a long time ago, Marlena. You can never know how much I regret that. I’ll just have to show them the depth of my love for you and prove they can trust me to be faithful to you forever.”
“I like the sound of that, John. And there is something we need to talk about along those lines.”
He waited and then when she was quiet, obviously wanting to compose her thoughts, he said, “Marlena, there’s something bothering you about what Belle said earlier, isn’t there?”
She answered, “Yes, John there is and I wasn’t going to bring it up tonight, but we promised we would be honest about our feelings. This is isn’t going to be easy though.. for either of us. John, I wasn’t completely truthful about my feelings toward you the other night when you came back here. I was trying to give you a break because of what happened with Kristen, but I think it’s time I told you how I really feel.”
John felt a jolt of fearful adrenaline in his belly and prepared for the worst. “What, Marlena tell me, please. I can take it,” he said hoping he could do what he said.
“Well, when I said I didn’t have any angry feelings toward you about your being with Kristen, I guess that wasn’t true. John, there has been a battle within me and one part says it wasn’t his fault you were hurt, he couldn’t have known. But the other part…”
John held his breath and readied himself to be shredded to bits for his blindness and foolhardy trust in Kristen. “The other part of me says… he should have figured out what she was up to, and he should have seen through her lies. And, if he had just paid attention to me, he would have seen how much pain I was in.” Thinking about all the times she had cried in his presence and given some excuse for the tears that he readily accepted as fact, she was very upset.
Feeling overwhelming guilt flow through his entire body, he took her in his arms for a moment and then looked her in the eye and said with great sincerity, “First of all, thank you for being honest.” Then he sat down before her, tears already forming, and bowed his head as he said, “Marlena, I am deeply sorry for the pain I caused you, for all the tears you cried that I didn’t wipe away or understand. I’m sorry for not pushing a little further for the cause of them. I apologize with every fiber of my being for not seeing what Kristen was doing to you and to us. Please my love, forgive me.. and I will do all I can not to bring you anything but joyful tears from now on. I love you so very much and it breaks my heart to know I hurt you so badly.” He was misty eyed with empathy for the suffering he had caused her.
By this time she was crying softly, and she said simply, “I do forgive you, my love.” They stayed that way for a long time, sharing the intimacy of their deep and abiding love, even the tears on their faces intertwining as they held each other in a tight embrace. This was to be the beginning of true healing for the years of pain and separation, all the mixed messages about love and friendship. There would be no more doubt about the long-term nature of the great love they shared. The amazing and incomprehensible bond they had once shared was already wrapping around their hearts, as they cried together in such intimacy.
Marlena’s parents had come down the stairs from putting Belle to bed and stopped in the foyer briefly; they couldn’t help but notice the couple engaged in the tearful embrace. The older couple said nothing but exchanged a knowing glance that spoke volumes, acknowledging the strength and long lasting nature of the relationship, ‘They truly love each other and they will make it through all the rough times.’ And they knew in their hearts that one
day.. not too long from this night, there would be one last wedding for their daughter.
John and Marlena stayed up half the night talking about their lives over the past several years and all the times that they had almost reunited but something or someone interfered, such as themselves and their guilt and desire to protect each other from more pain. There were the times that John so wanted to tell her he still loved her and wished to take her away on some romantic journey, just the two of them, to rediscover their dormant feelings, but didn’t. There were the times when Marlena wished she could give him reason to fight for her, though she truly loved Roman. Then later, when he was so consumed with guilt and she hated to see him suffering under that weight, she wished to tell him of her ongoing love, but sadly didn’t. They had both held back their true feelings of love for years, and it was difficult not to feel like they had wasted all that time. However, John and Marlena gave each other reason to feel that somehow they were richer for their experiences, knowing that their love, tested by fire, would now remain firm and steadfast forevermore.
One very interesting aspect of their conversation was that as close as they had been in life there was a sense of giddy excitement that this rekindled love brought out in both of them. It was revitalizing and the passion was as powerful as ever, but there was an air of mystery there too. It had been many years since they had been together and when it last flared into action they had not been free to enjoy themselves in the way that part of love should be shared. So this old and true love was also a new and energizing love as well, which was a welcome surprise. The undercurrent of desire was enticing and sometimes overpowering, yet wonderful to experience whenever they held each other close. They felt young and like they were just discovering love, almost like the first time. In many ways this was the first time for them because when they had first loved, they believed John was someone else. That was a lifetime ago and yet… it was yesterday.
It had been such a strange and painful journey, but at the same time wonderful, for a love that is never tested does not know that it can stand against the gates of Hades. These two kindred souls knew they could do that and so much more. They went to their separate bedrooms willingly, knowing in their hearts that the wait would be worth it. They deserved for their lovemaking to be special and thought of with respect and honor. When they were finally together in that physical sense, they would be well on their way to becoming one from two. This courtship period would make their intimacy seem so valuable and cherished, the way it was intended to be for all couples in love.
John believed Marlena deserved to be adored and treated with respect. To that end, he vowed after this long night of talk that he would no longer do anything to make her feel the slightest pressure to give herself to him in that way until she was absolutely certain it was what she wanted and needed. It was not to happen because he couldn’t hold back his desire any longer, of that he was sure, though even as he dedicated himself to that lofty goal he knew it would be extremely difficult to achieve. Each day they were together she became more
beautiful and attractive to him, and spending even a few seconds in her warm embrace sent tendrils of heated desire throughout the far reaches of his body. This was at the same time wondrous and excruciating, and he longed for more, not just for himself, but so he could give to her all the love he had denied and held inside for so very long.
That night they dreamed the sweet dreams of love that only those who have found a life partner and soulmate can have. They were dreams of their special togetherness, shared laughter, child raising, weddings and honeymoons. It was a blissful sleep even though it was spent in separate places, as in some spiritual sense they were together, even so.
When Marlena awakened, it was to the gentle knocking on her door made by one of John’s hands. He had another surprise for her and he was anxious to get the day underway. She opened the door to his smiling face and a tray of food for them both to share. There were enough pancakes, eggs and sausages to feed several people, she thought, as she smiled at him in return. She took the tray from him and they settled onto the bed to partake. John kept checking his watch and she wondered about it, “John, what’s going on, you keep looking down at your watch. Are we in a hurry this morning?”
He silently cursed himself for being so obvious, but he couldn’t afford to miss it. “Uh…no, take your time Marlena, I’m just checking to make sure my watch is working. Here, let me put on some music so we can relax a little,” he said as he went over to the stereo and turned it on. The dial on the radio was conveniently set appropriately. ‘Good,’ he thought as he adjusted the volume to a healthy level.
A short time later the disk jockey started talking, “Hello again, everybody. I have a fun story to update you on this morning. Some of you may remember a few days ago, when we had that special long distance dedication of the Bryan Adams’ song, Please Forgive Me. If you recall, the man who called offered to buy the station to get us to play it; he was so sincere we played it for him. Well, it turns out the guy wasn’t kidding and he’s here in Colorado now, and well, he bought the station and has already gained approval through the FCC to change the call letters to KDOC for his special lady. Now, you all know how cynical I am about affairs of the heart, but I have to say this guy has got it bad. He is totally, completely, utterly, and hopelessly forever in love with his lady and all of us here at the station wish them both the best of luck.”
Marlena could hardly believe her ears as the man talked of John’s love for her. She had those joyful tears in her eyes that he had mentioned the night before. She stared at him and saw the depth of his love reflected in his shining blue eyes, and his heartwarming smile made her feel like melted butter.
The DJ continued to speak, “And now it’s time to play another song he has dedicated to this wonderful woman for whom he purchased our station. He said he chose this song because although he has loved you for as long as he can remember, you still make him feel like it’s the first time. So here you are Doc, “For The First Time,” by Kenny Loggins from the man who is so very thankful to never have to say goodbye again.”
Are those your eyes
Is that your smile
I’ve been looking at you forever
Yet I never saw you before
Are these your hands holding mine
Now I wonder how could I have been so blind
And for the first time
I am looking in your eyes
For the first time
I’m seeing who you are
Can’t believe how much I see
When you’re looking back at me
Now I understand what love is, love is
For the first time…..
It was all like a wondrous dream, one she’d had a thousand times. The man she loved all the way to her soul, gazing at her as if there were no other woman in the universe, a song he’d chosen, playing it just for her ears. Marlena found it difficult to believe this glorious vision wasn’t going to fade from view in a matter of seconds. She closed her eyes momentarily, allowing the music and the lyrics to permeate her gradually healing heart.
Can this be real
Can this be true
Am I the person I was this morning
And are you the same you
It’s all so strange
How can it be
All along this love was right in front of me………
She was weeping and John found tears forming in his eyes as well. He had pleased her…and she felt loved; that was all he ever wanted to do. John too, allowed the words to penetrate, in a way they never had before… It really was like the first time… so fresh and new and exciting. He could see it in her glimmering hazel eyes… she loved him as deeply as he loved her and they would love so, for the rest of their days on earth…….
And for the first time
I am looking in your eyes
For the first time
I’m seeing who you are
I can’t believe how much I see
When you’re looking back at me
Now I understand what love is, love is
For the first time
Such a long time ago
I had given up on finding this emotion ever again
But you’re here with me now
Yes, I found you somehow
And I’ve never been so sure……..
Slowly, they moved instinctively closer, their gaze never wandering, anxious to touch, to embrace, to put a seal on their everlasting love relationship. This was the moment they longed for, the moment they sometimes thought would never come, the moment when they could look at each other and not hide the deep and abiding love that dwelled within.
For the first time
I am looking in your eyes
For the first time
I’m seeing who you are
Can’t believe how much I see
When you’re looking back at me
Now I understand what love is, love is
For the first time
For the first time…….
Marlena was crying softly as she looked at John, who had love shining forth from his entire body; he was clearly so pleased to see she was touched by his gesture. All he had ever wanted was to see her happy, and now she was. Finally, she recovered enough to speak, saying with a shaky emotion laden voice, “Oh, John you are the most…. wonderful man… in the universe. I can’t believe you, how did you ever have the time.. to arrange all the surprises and buy this radio station for me?”
He shrugged and said, “I know how to delegate?” Then he said seriously as he caressed her cheek ever so tenderly, “Marlena, I just want you to know how blissfully happy you have made me by letting me back into your heart. I love you so very deeply and I want to make you feel loved and treasured as the incredible gift you are to me.”
She was falling again so hard, so fast and it made her head spin. “John, you are making me feel all that and more, honey. I love you like that too and I am so glad we found each other again. Thank you for all the amazing romantic surprises you have given me.”
John took her in his arms and they held each other in silent companionship for a moment before kissing passionately in a way that left both breathless, with hearts fluttering. Knowing she wasn’t ready to take their activity further, John reluctantly broke off the embrace, smiling as he asked, “So you want to eat some breakfast now, pretty lady?”
Acknowledging with her eyes, all that he had done, including being willing to wait for lovemaking, she stared at him with a lover’s gaze and said softly, “I’d love to, you sweet romantic man. Thank you so much for doing all of this.”
In the very next moment there was a knock on the door and two others called out, “Is it safe to come in now?”
“Yes, Mother it’s safe, come on in.”
The older couple had twin stunned expressions on their faces as they walked into the room. Once they were safely inside and standing next to the happy couple, Mrs. Evans asked incredulously, “KDOC? You bought our daughter her own radio station and named it for her?”
Before his future son-in-law could answer, Mr. Evans spoke next, sharing his conclusions, “You really love her, John. We’ve always thought so, but we…cared about Roman and were hurt for both of them, for a long while. But.. that is in the past now, and we can see now how very happy you are already making Marlena. We have waited a long time to see that dazzling smile return to her face and young man… you have brought it back. For that we thank you.. very much,” he finished, extending his hand for a shake, a gesture John returned.
He was a little uncertain how to respond but then said as he placed his arm around her shoulders, “You are most welcome. It is my greatest pleasure to bring her happiness and to see her smile as well. She means more to me than I can say with words.”
Marlena was more than a little uncomfortable about all this talk of her and she said, hoping to end the discussion, “He has made me very happy and he deserves the same. I intend to bring him this kind of joy as well, Mom and Dad.”
Her mother nodded and finished with understanding, “As well you should, sweetheart. Now why don’t you eat that breakfast he cooked before it is ice cold.”
As the couple sat down to eat, there were four very broad smiles on the four faces in the Evans household, and then a fifth was added, as Belle came bounding into the room shouting, “Mommy has a radio station! Yahoo! My daddy bought my mommy some music!” Belle subsequently sat down and immediately began to get a bite to eat, asking the adults, “Well, what are you waiting for?” and there was laughter all around as John and Marlena joined their little cherub. It was a very special moment, one they would all cherish for a lifetime.
Once Kristen recovered from the intial shock of John’s leaving her, she decided she would not just sit back and wait for events to unfold, she took immediate action regarding the custody issue. She started by calling Vivian Alamain who would know some crooked, but shrewd lawyers who could help her with her cause. She also set out to find someone who could follow John and Marlena around and catch them in compromising situations, betting on the fact that John had not taken official steps to end their short marriage before running after his precious, Doc. “Oh, how I hate that bitch; she may have him for now, but when I’m through with them she will wish she had just let me have him.”
The next step was to call Stefano and let him know what had transpired; he would help her because for some unknown reason he too thought that Marlena was worth having. Kristen would never understand what it was about the witch that men found so attractive. ‘She’s so boring and sedate, I’ll never get it,’ she thought. Oh well it doesn’t matter why he wants her… as long as he gets her out of my way, I can win John back.’ It was so strange… one minute, she wanted him back and the next she wanted to lash out at him in anger for his rejection of her. It was a tossup how she would feel when Stefano answered the phone.
“Stefano, it’s me, Kristen. I have some distressing news that affects both of us and our plans.” Recalling the bitter conversation from the night before, she swallowed hard and told her father how her plans had come undone. “John.. left me for Marlena, he said that…when she went out of town he realized he just couldn’t let her go. I totally lost it and threatened to fight him for custody of John Jr. and he still left me.” Suddenly, the anger flared powerfully and she unloaded, “I told him I thought he was having an affair while I was pregnant and that I would use this little incident at the hospital as proof. He was shocked at my anger and jealousy; he didn’t ever see that side of me. I don’t know how you ever thought he was a worthy adversary Father; he has become so easy to fool and manipulate these days.”
Stefano was shocked at her harsh words about the man she supposedly loved. “Kristen, I’m surprised to hear you speak of John that way. I thought you really loved him…in your way.”
“Well, I thought I did, but in some ways he has become such a puppet it’s really sort of boring for me. I did love him deeply once, but all this maneuvering I’ve had to do to keep him sort of kept me from really having any true feelings for him. I find it odd too, but right now I mostly want revenge on him for leaving me with a newborn baby that I only wanted because it would bind him to me. Of course I can’t tell anyone that or I won’t have anything left to manipulate him with; he really believes the baby is ours and he loves his son. I can use that against him, Father.”
Hearing her talk this way made him so proud of his daughter, “Kristen you really have become a true Dimera these past few months. I am so proud of you and I will help you in your revenge, but you must make a solemn promise to me. I know that you blame Marlena for this, but you must not do anything to harm her or even upset her directly. I will help you get back at John for deserting you, but if you harm her, you will pay dearly. Is that understood Kristen?” His tone was very threatening as he said the last sentence.
She hesitated for the briefest of moments and then answered, “Of course Father, I promise.” She could go after John and if Doc were to be hurt by accident of design what could she do about it? She wanted them both to suffer for the humiliation she felt. He had married her only a short time ago and was planning a divorce, maybe an annulment. How embarrassing that was for a woman like her. “Oh, John you have no idea what I am really like and you will be sorry for leaving me this way. If you were ever smart, you would have made your decision in Aremid. You will pay many times over for your mistake.”
Vivian arrived right on time, but was obviously upset at being called so early in the morning. “Kristen for God’s sake what are you doing calling me to come over so early in the morning? Won’t John be just a little curious about why I’m here at this time? I mean he has been pretty clueless lately, but this is definitely odd.” As she spoke, she saw the slight edge of sadness mixed with a large dose of anger in the woman’s eyes. “Kristen, what is it?”
“He left Vivian, he left me for his precious Doc!” He came here to tell me the other night and now I want revenge and I want you to help me get it!”
“Kristen, I’m sorry. I thought all your plans were working out fine. John seemed so consumed with guilt for hurting you and it looked like he was truly committed to you and to your marriage vows.”
“I know it, and he was. But then Marlena decided to leave town and that was just what it took for him to go running after her and confess his love and askher how she felt. Well, you know how it turned out. They are together somewhere right now. How I hate her! She probably did it on purpose to force his hand. I want them both to suffer, mostly Marlena…but whatever we do, Stefano cannot suspect we did anything to intentionally hurt her.”
Kristen was so angry and vindictive sounding and it was almost shocking to Vivian who knew most all her schemes to keep the man. “That shouldn’t be too much of a problem, we can think of lots of ways to hurt her that won’t be obvious to Stefano and he won’t be able to figure out what we’re doing, if we’re careful,” Vivian said maliciously.
“Good, I knew I could count on you Vivian, you’ve really become a good friend to me, lately. Thank you.”
Thinking of Victor and Kate, she said, “Don’t thank me Kristen. I know how it feels to have the man you love stolen away and I will help you if only for that. Besides, Marlena hasn’t exactly been pleasant to me in recent weeks. I’d like to give her a taste of her own medicine. She and John won’t even know what hit them.”
Then it happened, she thought of the perfect way to get to John right away, through his children. She was sure Marlena had taken the little brat with her, but Brady on the other hand was one of two places, the Penthouse with the nanny or the Pub with the elder members of the Brady family. She would give him a good scare that’s all, just a little warning not to take her threats lightly. Kristen told Vivian, “I just thought of the first thing we can do to shake them up. I’m going to take Brady for the day and make them think the worst. Brilliant, if I do say so myself; they might try to bring him to wherever they are, so I have to work fast. You use the cell phone and call the Penthouse, Vivian, and I’ll try the Pub.”
Vivian had to admit it, Kristen was becoming more like Stefano every time she saw the woman. “You are getting pretty good at this Kristen, I couldn’t have thought of a better way to start myself.”
Kristen had been right; Brady was at the Pub and it was clear that Caroline had no idea of what happened between John and Marlena yet. Kristen was to take the boy to the mansion, and she readied herself to hide him for a couple ofdays. She would not harm him or even scare him. It was only intended to be a warning; she just wanted John to be frightened for his little boy.
“Vivian it’s just as I suspected.. the Bradys’ have no idea of what has happened and they aren’t the least bit suspicious of me. I better get over there before John calls and informs them, since I’m sure his precious Doc.. has told him what little she knows about me by now.”
Vivian set off to find the right lawyers and detectives to do the dirty work Kristen had asked about. “Good luck, Kristen and stay in touch won’t you?”
Kristen next set out to go get the little dark haired boy hoping he wouldn’t be worried when she took him without John coming along.
Before long, Kristen had Brady and they were off for a drive in the country. She told the boy his father would meet them later and that seemed to satisfy the youngster. She had reserved a cabin in the woods where they would spend a day or two, just long enough for John to become terrified, before she innocently brought him back safe and sound. She had a wicked smile on her face as she imagined him frantic to find his son.
Out in Colorado John, Marlena and Belle were finishing breakfast with it being a tossup as to which one of them had eaten the most. John felt more at peace than he remembered in all the years since the time when he thought Marlena had died in a plane crash. He was thrilled to be with these two women and to see the smiles on their faces. “Well, ladies how would you like to help me make a fun phone call to one sweet little boy back in Salem?”
“Bwady, we gonna call Bwady?” asked Belle enthusiastically.
Marlena and John smiled at each other and Marlena said, “Yes we are, sweety girl. Daddy wants to have him come out here to be with us, would you like that?”
“Yipee, Bwady coming to Colowado. Now he can hear Mommy’s music too!”
Marlena smiled warmly at John for his romanticism once again and she melted his heart. “Yes, Brady can hear Mommy’s music,” John replied happily, as he hugged his girls.
Belle and Marlena sat quietly as he dialed the phone. Instantly, Marlena was alarmed by the look of horror on his face just after the call connected, “No, she couldn’t have taken him!” he was saying anxiously after a very brief hello on the other end. “Caroline, where did she say she was going? Please, it’s very important!” He was struggling not to become too upset; maybe she wasn’t doing it to get back at him, but after what Marlena had told him… His heart raced as he prepared himself for what came next .
Marlena couldn’t wait for him to tell her what was happening, though she certainly suspected whom he was referring when he said, “she.” Fearing the worst, Marlena asked, “John, what’s wrong, honey?”
John gripped the phone tightly and waved her off for the moment as he listened to his *mother’s* explanation. Then he spoke commandingly, his emotions barely under control, “Caroline, please.. try every one you can think of and let me know if you hear from her. I’ll call the mansion and her cell phone, okay? Thank you, and try not to worry, I’m sure everything will be just fine. I just want to know where he is, that’s all.” He was trying to be calm and reassuring, but Caroline knew he was extremely worried, and so did Marlena.
Turning to Belle Marlena said, “Belle honey, I think Grandma wanted some help with some cookies. Would you like to go down and help her for a little while?”
“Cookies, oh boy! Daddy when you call Bwady again, please find me cause I want to talk to him, okay?”
John turned around after putting down the phone, and put on a forced smile, saying quietly, “Of course sweetheart, you’ll be the first one I tell.” When she left the room, he let out a half cry and looked at Marlena, whose expression was full of compassion on his behalf. He shut his eyes for a moment before speaking, wanting to banish the fear that beckoned. “Doc, Kristen has Brady and she didn’t tell Caroline anything but that she was taking him to the Mansion. I just called there while you were talking to Belle. She never went back there after going to the Pub to get him. After what you told me the other night… I can’t help but think…..” He was losing control of the fear quickly. “Oh, God Doc, what if this is some.. sick payback for my leaving her?”
She couldn’t lie to him; the woman was capable of that and so much more. Marlena was convinced of it after some of the violent arguments she had with the evil woman. “John, I wish I could tell you she wouldn’t do anything like that, but I can’t. It’s just like her to use an innocent child to hurt you.”
He looked at her with an anguished expression, as the anger at his own actions began to set in. “Dammit! I should have sent for him or gone back the minute you told me what she was really like. How could I have been so foolish as to think she would just let us be together without trying to hurt us? Oh Doc I should have protected him! If she.. hurts him….I swear….”
“John, I don’t think she’ll hurt him, really. She probably just wants to remind you she’s still there and scare you a little, it’s just like her.”
Fighting back tears, he nodded and then said in fear mixed with rage, “Well, she’s done a fine job so far, that….Bitch! I should have seen through her a long time ago, and now my son is suffering for it too. I have hurt so many people with my blindness to her evil. I pray you’re right about her not hurting him. Oh, if anything happens to him..” John couldn’t quite stop the tears from welling up.
His voice shaking, he shared what he was feeling in the moment, “It’s all my fault, all this suffering..you, now Brady, and what about the baby? Oh, I’m so sorry about all of it, Doc!” he said, shaking his head, a few droplets of salty moisture escaping from his worried eyes.
Marlena felt his pain through their growing bond and rather than trying to find words, she just held him in a tight hug. After a moment or two she finally said something encouraging instead of trying to persuade him not to beat up on himself, something she believed wouldn’t do any good. “We’ll find them John and everything will be okay. We need to believe that. And, right now we can thank God that Belle is here with us.”
John was upset enough that he couldn’t respond verbally. Instead, he only nodded, telling her that he too was glad for that much. Realizing that he had to regain his composure and call Abe, he focused on calming his breathing and pushing down the fear for Brady, praying that God would keep both his sons safe and sound until their father could return home and be with them
John called Commander Abe Carver to tell him what had happened with Brady and his friend said he would do all he could personally, but of course nothing could be done officially, not until the boy had been missing for 48 hours. John knew that, but hearing Abe say it set him off, “Abe, you know she took him without my permission on purpose to…get back at me! I told you what Marlena knows about her.”
“John, there is no evidence to support that theory even though you’re probably right about it. There’s no ransom note, no evidence that she harmed or threatened him in any way. I know you’re worried and I will send some men to the mansion to interview the staff and search for evidence informally, okay? It’s the best I can do, John.”
Recognizing that the mans hands were tied, John moved on, informing his friend of his plans, “Abe, I’m coming home. Can you meet me at the airport, I kind of…well, I hurt my leg out here and I could use a little help.” He looked over toward the door where Marlena stood trying not to listen in, but was concerned about what was happening. He said more quietly, “Doc and I haven’t talked about this, but I’m going to try to convince her to stay here with Belle and I’ll hire some private security to watch them while we’re apart. If Kristen was willing to use Brady to get to me there’s no telling what she might do to Marlena if she got the chance. Kristen hates Marlena and blames her for my decision to leave.”
Abe sighed with concern, “I don’t envy you that conversation, John. Marlena won’t easily accept the idea. She’s just as protective of you as you are of her. The reason she didn’t tell you how she felt and what she knew about Kristen was to protect you from pain and for your child, you know.”
“Yes, I know. She is so….selfless, so concerned about everybody else’s pain… it amazes me partner, but I have to do everything I can to convince her this is best for her and Belle. I’ll call you back soon, and thanks Abe… do whatever you can…”
“I’m sorry it isn’t more, John…. but try not to worry too much. We’ll find him…”
Marlena waited until he said his goodbye and then came over and put her arms around him, weaving them through to avoid the crutches. After waiting a few seconds, she took notice of the fatigue he was exhibiting and the grimace he made, saying with concern, “John, honey…you’ve been on your feet a long time, why don’t you sit down and rest that knee for awhile?”
He chuckled lightly and said, “Oh… yea, I almost forgot about it, you know. I guess you’re probably right. Anyway, there is something I have to discuss with you.” He waited until they were both sitting on the bed to say, “Marlena, I… have to go back to Salem to find Brady, but I want you to stay out here with Belle and I’ll hire topnotch security personnel to protect you because I…”
She reacted instantly, cutting him off, “No way, John! I’m not about to have you go through this alone. We promised we wouldn’t be separated again, remember?” Shaking her head, she said with vigor, “No… if you’re going home then so am I and my mind is made up, so don’t even try to convince me otherwise,” she said firmly, looking directly at him.
Though he knew it was a done deal, he had to try, “But, Doc.. Kristen hates you and blames you for my leaving her. She might try to.. hurt you!”
She wasn’t about to back down, especially because of that obsessed woman. Marlena was not going to let her stand between them any longer. “I know that, but I’m not afraid of her, John. I’m going with you and that’s all there is to it!”
John sighed resignedly, acknowledging that there was no changing her mind this time, and then acquiesced, “Okay, just let me call Abe and let him know, and then we can get started packing. I’ll send for the Jet to be refueled and ready in the next few hours.” His voice filled with regret as he spoke an apology, “Marlena, I’m really sorry that this courtship hasn’t been what you hoped for it to be, with…my knee and now..”
“John, don’t even say that; this has been wonderful with all the romantic surprises, my own radio station… John you have made me feel so special and we have been so…open. It feels like we’re growing closer by the minute. So, no more apologies for things that are beyond your control, okay?” she said, kissing him lightly on the lips.
He shook his head and smiled despite his worries, then took her in his arms saying, “Lady, I sure don’t know how it is you came to love me, but I thank you so much for giving me one last chance at loving you. I love you so very much, Doc… and I intend to prove that to you, every single day from now on.”
She melted in his arms with that comment and said, “Oh John, I love you so much and you’re welcome. Now, why don’t you make that phone call and I’ll go tell my parents what’s happening.”
He looked at her and almost started to apologize, for cutting the visit short, but her expression stopped him. She had known what he was going to say, that special bond allowing them to sense each other’s thoughts and feelings in moments like this. So he only nodded and said, “Okay, Doc. See you in a few minutes.”
Within two hours they were on their way to the airport having said some tearful goodbyes to Marlena’s parents. Having decided at the last minute to accompany the couple to the airport after all, the Evan’s were there as the plane loaded and prepared for departure. Just before Marlena and the man she loved boarded the plane, her father pulled John aside and said, “John, I want to thank you once again for bringing that incredible smile to my daughter’s face. I can see now how very much you love her, and I believe you will do all you can to keep her safe and make her happy.”
Looking the older man straight in the eye, John said sincerely, “You’re welcome and I do promise you, I’ll die before I let anything else happen to her. She deserves to be treated like a princess and that is exactly what I intend to do. She means everything to me, and I will spend every day of our life together trying to make her happy.”
” I know you will. Please, know that you and your son are in our thoughts and prayers, John. We hope that evil woman gets what she deserves for hurting you and Marlena.” As he saw the guilt in John’s eyes, her father added a word of support and understanding, “John, we don’t blame you for all that; we know she was very slick just like her father and that you couldn’t have known what she was doing to hurt you both.”
John felt relieved to know they weren’t holding that against him, but the guilt was still strong, no matter that he had told Marlena he would try to let it go. Yet to her father, he said, “Thank you, that helps a lot. Please be assured I will never hurt her by my actions again and I will protect her from Kristen from now on.”
The man patted him on the back and said, “Yes, we know. Now you better get going. Good Luck…son.” John’s heart jumped at the word for he knew that meant everything he had said was completely genuine. The man was telling John he was welcome to the family and he knew that John and Marlena would marry one day in the not too distant future. John looked back, nodding his head, smiling warmly in response to the last comment. Then he turned without another word and entered the plane for the trip home to find his son.
During the long flight back across the country, Belle slept much of the time, and John was lost in quiet thought about all that had taken place over the past year or so. He kept running through all the strange behaviors Kristen had exhibited and all the excuses she had given for them. He had bought all of them hook, line and sinker, and the more he thought about it, the more guilt he felt about it all. He remembered all the times Marlena had wanted to tell him something or seemed upset and he had just let it pass with only a lame attempt to determine the reason. He now believed that he should have pushed a little harder to findout why Kristen had acted this way and given Marlena more of an opportunity to open up without Kristen around. ‘Dammit, John, you caused her so much pain and you wasted so much time with that evil manipulative little witch. How could you have been such a FOOL? “Dammit!” he exclaimed aloud, as he thought about his son being all alone with her and scared and wondering if his Daddy was coming for him. He regretted the use of an expletive, because of Belle.
Marlena had heard it and came over to talk with him about what she knew he was thinking. John turned his head to hide his emotions from her. She made him look her in the eye, saying, “John, you know that blaming yourself for everyone’s pain is not going to do you our anyone else any good. It’s just wasted energy. Besides, I thought you were going to try to put this to rest after we talked the other night.”
“I was, Doc, but I’ve been sitting here thinking about everything that’s happened in the past year or so and it’s so obvious to me, looking back, what she was doing. The shame and guilt he felt for not figuring out what Kristen was doing, was very powerful. “I can’t for the life of me, see why I didn’t realize it. She was manipulating and lying to me every day of our life together. And, how could I have seen you… so upset so many times and not sense that you were hurting because of me, because of what she was doing to you, to us? How could I have been so damn blind?”
Marlena understood why he was questioning himself, but hated to see him go through this while he was so worried about Brady. “John, she is just like Stefano and she is pretty good at coming with an explanation for all her actions. You believed her because you had known her as a good person and you wanted to trust her. She took advantage of that John and abused it to manipulate you. I understand why you’re doubting and beating up on yourself for not figuring it all out, but it won’t help to berate yourself, John. I forgave you and it’s time you did the same for yourself. It’s time to move forward and concentrate on finding Brady, and then on our future together.”
John nodded. He knew she was right and had tried to convince her he could do that, but in his heart he didn’t know if he would ever forgive himself for not knowing what Kristen was doing. That was because she had hurt the one he treasured above all else including his own life, Marlena. For that he was to blame; in his eyes, he was responsible for so much suffering she’d endured that he could have prevented if he had just…..seen through the facade. He couldn’t stop flashing on what it must have felt like for Marlena in that damn cage of Stefano’s, then all the months apart, cruel conversations–it was almost overwhelming if he thought about it all. He resolved to keep those feelings hidden and to do everything in his power to keep her from being hurt by anyone else like that again. And if Stefano were alive…..well lucky for him. For he would die in a very slow and painful fashion, if John had a chance to put his hands on the man again.
As they approached the Salem airport, John called Abe for an update. “Abe it’s John… we’re just about to land; is there any news?”
“No, John, I’m sorry.. nothing concrete. The staff at the Mansion didn’t have much to say because they didn’t know anything. Kristen was secretive about what she had planned for the day. Although, they did tell us that Vivian had been there fairly early in the morning, for her, around 9:00am or so and then two hours later, Kristen was at the Pub to get Brady. Nobody knows where she was headed at that time and there has been no sign of them since. I’m sorry John.”
He felt his heart sink, Oh, Brady. Daddy is so sorry. “I should have done something, I should have….known she would do this! Abe we have to find him…if she….” No, he couldn’t let himself think that way, it would make him crazy.
Abe’s heart went out to his friend, “John, we’ll find him and he’s going to be fine, you have to believe that!”
All John had the strength for was a weak, “Yea, sure Abe. Thanks for telling me the truth.” As he hung up the phone he felt Marlena’s soothing arms wrap around him and it brought such comfort. “Oh, Marlena! We have to find him!” He balled his hands into fists, trying to contain his fear and self-loathing, “If anything happens to him….it’s my fault and I will *never* forgive myself. I keep going over it in my mind and I can’t stop thinking that I should have taken him with me or come home to get him as soon as you told me about her….evil. Why, Doc? Why didn’t I *do* something!!” he asked her, the agonizing remorse he felt clearly evident on his face.
She had to shake him out of this mood, so she looked directly at him grasped his shoulders firmly, shouting, “Stop it, John!! You stop it right now, do you hear me? This little guilt fest is not going to bring Brady home to you, so just get yourself together and do what you have to do to find him!”
Marlena had succeeded in getting his attention and snapping him out of the negative bent he was on, “You’re right, I’m sorry. I should be putting all of my energy into trying to determine where she might take him instead of wallowing in this guilt. Thank you for confronting me like that,” he finished, feeling some shame for his self absorbed reaction.
She smiled, glad to have him back and said, “Hey what are best friends, and sometime soon to be lovers for?”
John pulled her into a warm embrace and kissed her in gratitude saying, “Well, you’ve done it again, Marlena you keep showing me how very lucky I am to have someone like you. You are one incredible woman, do you know that?”
Marlena just smiled and halfheartedly agreed, “I guess, if you say so, my love.”
“I *do* say so.” After enjoying the sensation of her arms around him for a long minute or so, he seemed to be much more positive in his outlook. “Now.. let’s get Belle up and go out there to find Brady,” he said with a little more hope in his voice as the plane rolled to a stop on the runway.
It had been almost 48 hours since Brady had been taken by Kristen. John was pacing as well as he could on crutches in the Penthouse where he and Marlena had decided to go for Belle’s benefit. Belle was sleeping; her father had checked and rechecked the security system and was trying to figure out where Kristen might have taken Brady. He wanted to just run out and search, but knew he had to have another place to start and couldn’t figure out where that was, and besides driving wasn’t easy with his knee immobilized the way it was. The fear and tension began to build again as Marlena descended the staircase, saying, “John, honey why don’t you please sit down, you’re going to wear out the carpet, and the doctors said you shouldn’t be up on your feet so much.”
He hadn’t even realized what he was really doing he was so lost in the thoughts of where Kristen would have taken his son and how he could keep Belle and Marlena safe. “Uh…sorry about that, I guess I have been kinda focused on how to find Brady. Marlena I can’t just wait around for something to happen! I have to go out there and do something to find him. I’m going back over to Kristen’s to see if there is anything we’ve missed. If she…” No he had to force that train of thought out of his head. He started to make his way to the door before Marlena could even respond.
“John, wait a minute you can’t really drive with your knee the way it is, and I can’t go with you because Belle is sleeping. Please call Abe or Bo to come get you.”
He was really frustrated with that state of affairs, “I hate having to depend on someone else for every place I want to go.. Dammit if I hadn’t been goofing around…” He stopped mid-sentence, “Oops I’m doing it again, aren’t I?”
“Yes, you are. It doesn’t do any good, John.”
He plopped down onto the couch in frustration and agreed, “Yea, I guess you’re right. Marlena, could you please help me think about where where she might take him, I can’t think straight any more.”
She walked over and sat down next to him and they held each other in silence for awhile, each thinking long and hard. “Maybe she planned to bring him back soon. I think we should check the Mansion again for evidence and to see if she has brought him back,” John said following his instincts.
“Then the Mansion it is, she said. As soon as Belle wakes up we’ll all go over there okay? Now why don’t you just sit back and let me massage the tension out of those shoulders.”
He wanted to let her so badly, but remembered what usually happened to him when she started to massage him, “Uh…Marlena I’d love to except I….”
She chuckled and remembered a few other occasions when she had done that even when they weren’t together in this way and he….”I remember, John and it’s okay, we can handle whatever happens next.”
“Doc? What exactly are you saying, honey?” he asked her trying not to sound desperate in wanting her to say she meant that if it led to intimacy it was perfectly fine with her.
“I’m saying that we are big kids and we can handle it if the temperature rises a little while I massage your neck and shoulders.”
John hoped he didn’t sound too disappointed when he said, “Oh, I was wondering if you meant.. never mind. Yes, I would like it if you gave me a massage, I do feel sort of tense, thanks.”
She smiled and knew exactly what he had hoped and didn’t want to disappoint him, but this was not how she wanted their first time together again to happen. It shouldn’t happen because he was feeling upset about Brady. They should be together because it was the moment when they were both ready to share themselves in that most intimate of ways. “Sorry John, but this really isn’t the time for that, is it?”
“No, of course not, Doc. I don’t want to make you feel bad, I just….really need to feel close to you right now.”
Instead of beginning the massage, she came around from behind the couch where she had been standing and took him in her arms again, saying with tenderness and understanding, “And I need to feel close to you too.”
The couple sat in each other’s arms on the couch for several minutes before breaking off the embrace. Then she did give him a thorough massage which helped him relax, the end result being that he fell asleep. She climbed over the edge of the couch and held him as he drifted off at last. He had not slept at all since he called the Pub more than 36 hours ago. Marlena sat holding John for a long while, feeling completely comfortable being close to him and enjoying the simple pleasure of watching him breath. Remembering the tension she had just felt in his body, she lifted up a silent prayer that good news would soon come about Brady.
Approximately three hours later, Belle had awakened and was watching Winnie the Pooh’s Sharing and Caring video and John woke up to the wonderful sound of her giggles at some of the silliness with the characters. He sat up, looked at his watch and said, “Wow, I guess I was a little tired huh?”
Marlena came over and hugged him saying, “John, you hadn’t slept since you first called here, remember?”
He looked quizzically at her, as if searching his memory and then said, “Oh… yea, I…didn’t realize that at all, I’ve been so worried about…so anxious to get back home and spend time with all the people I love.” He corrected himself so as not to worry Belle. There was no need to tell her anything, at least not yet. She would know something was wrong soon if they didn’t find him within a day or so, but for now, it was not necessary to alarm her.
“Me too, honey. I’d like to take that trip to the Mansion with you now if you’re ready to go. Belle do you want to go with Daddy and me for a ride?”
“Yes Mommy you know I like riding in the car. Can Brady go too?” she asked, eager to spend time with her big brother.
John had to hide his eyes,as the feeling of fear came rushing back with that simple question. He was starting to get scared something had happened to Brady, and the longer it went on with no sign of he and Kristen, the worse that fear became. He got up off the couch, put his coat on and headed out to the Jeep while Marlena answered Belle’s question.
As he walked, John prayed in desperation, “Oh God, please don’t let her hurt him because of me! I know I should be the one to suffer for my poor judgement and yet the people I love have suffered for it so many times. Please God, put it on me, not them!” He was so ashamed at his stupidity and wished he could be the only one to be hurt by the woman’s lies and schemes.
As Marlena and Belle approached the vehicle, she saw the anguish and guilt had returned to him. She wasn’t going to talk about it again and so she just kissed his cheek and said, “We’ll get him back, John. Come on, let’s go!”
He complied silently and somehow managed to get his leg up into the Jeep without any assistance. Soon, they were at the Mansion and John instantly noticed Kristen’s car was there. He got out as quickly as possible, almost falling in his haste and then he saw Kristen coming toward them with sickening smile on her face.
“Well, hello everyone. I wasn’t expecting you here today. I thought you were off playing together somewhere, John.” She was so sarcastic and obviously avoiding the fear and anger in John’s eyes.
He wasn’t going to wait and play this game and asked angrily, “Where is he, Kristen? Where’s Brady?”
“Relax, John he’s just taking a nap. He was tired after our little trip together and so I put him down upstairs for a little while before taking him back to the Pub. We had a wonderful time, John.” She said the next words in an attempt to make him feel guilty for leaving her and his son, “I just didn’t want him to feel neglected, you know with all the attention to the new baby and then with his daddy running off so suddenly like you did.”
John could barely contain himself as he spoke, “Kristen, if he…if you did anything to hurt or upset him…I swear it, I’ll…”
It was harder than she thought; he was really upset and part of her felt bad about frightening him so much. “I’m sorry if I scared you, John that wasn’t my intention, really.” She tried to sound sincere, as she felt more than a twinge of guilt and regret about what she’d done. Kristen felt torn now; she was angry about being rejected and had been trying to get back at him, but she also realized in the moment of seeing his fear that she still loved him. She knew that once the initial reaction wore off, she would want to get him back and she would do whatever it took for that to happen.
John brushed her aside and went in to the house to see his son and make sure he was allright. Marlena stayed outside with Belle and Kristen, having decided to give Kristen a piece of her mind. At one point she said, “Kristen, that was so cruel of you and you will regret it. Using a child that way to hurt him. Oh, wait you’ve done that already with the baby, manipulating John’s emotions to bind him to you. You really are a piece of work and I actually feel sorry for that baby to have you as a mother.”
Kristen tried to slap Marlena and John saw it as he crossed the distance to the Jeep from the front door of the Mansion. He had gone in to check on Brady and his little boy was sleeping so peacefully John had not wanted to disturb him. He wanted to come back and have a more complete discussion with Kristen. He yelled at her as she was raising her hand, “Don’t even think about it, Kristen. You have hurt her for the last time!” His tone wasvery angry and threatening, and the closer he got the more worried Kristen felt. She had gotten him very angry and this was good, but only to a point, she realized. He might actually hurt her if he saw her upset or hurt his precious
Marlena. She resolved to be less direct in her attempts to harm or bother the woman from this moment forward. “I’m sorry, John I don’t know what I was thinking.” She turned and smiled sweetly at Marlena and then apologized directly to her as well.
John took Kristen inside for that discussion and told her exactly what he thought of her, “If you EVER try anything like that again, I promise you, you will pay for it Kristen! That little boy in there means the world to me and I’ll be dammed if some sick, twisted woman is going to hurt my children or anyone else I love. If you want to get back at someone for the fact that our marriage is over you come after me! Have you got that?”
He spoke to her with barely controlled rage and she felt very frightened by it at that moment, but she also knew that her father was still alive and he did not. That was her ace in the hole and she would not give it away. So she said fearfully and truthfully, “John, I’m sorry.. I can see how worried you were about Brady and I won’t ever try to take him anywhere without your permission. I honestly didn’t hurt him or upset him in any way and you can ask him when he wakes from his nap. I’m sorry you were so frightened by what I did,” she finished, not really lying.
Kristen felt confused because John was getting more angry instead of less. “You are right about one thing, Kristen you will never even come within several miles of Brady, Belle or Marlena from this moment onward. And, I intend to fight you for custody of John, Jr. now that I know who and what you really are…. You’re a true Dimera.”
‘You self-righteous son-of-bitch,’ she thought, the anger taking over again. “We will see about that won’t we. You are so confident of yourself aren’t you, John? Well, you know my private investigators have collected some very nice evidence that you have been carrying on an affair with the good Dr. Evans and as you might remember we are still legally married,” she said waving the ring in his face. So you just go ahead and fight me and see where you get.”
She had gotten to him with those comments; having no ready response, John simply went back up the stairs to wake his son and take him home with him. The rest of it would have to wait until he felt Marlena and the children were completely safe from harm. As he walked away on crutches, Kristen felt the need to put in a parting shot at him. “Oh, John I’m forgetting my manners here. I’m sorry that you hurt your leg and I certainly hope it doesn’t hold you back, or interfere with any of your plans to protect the people you love, honey.” She said it a somewhat menacing tone, as if she knew of some other threat that he didn’t know existed. He wondered what that could be, but didn’t have time to consider it at the moment.
John was able to awaken Brady with little difficulty, telling him he was taking him to the Penthouse with Marlena and that they would all have a fun evening together there. Brady said, “Daddy, I’d like that, then I can tell you all about my time with my new mommy. She was really nice to me. She told me about all these secret houses she owns and said if I was really good she might take me to some of them and we could play hide and seek and nobody could find us! Isn’t that great Daddy?”
He felt the rush of fearful, angry adrenaline in his gut and balled his fists at the meaning of it, but hid if from his son. Kristen had just given him a warning through his little boy and he wanted to ring the woman’s neck. “Yes, Brady I know how much you still like to play hide and seek. I’ll have to talk to Kristen about that sometime soon.” In his mind, he was saying, ‘Oh.. Kristen, you will be sorry for what you’ve done and if you ever come near my son again.. I’ll make you regret it.’ As he and Brady exited, John shot her a look to kill. In response, she smiled sweetly and said to Brady, “I really had fun, Brady I hope we can spend some time together again real soon.”
Happy to have someone pay so much attention to him for a change, he grinned, saying, “Me too, Mommy Kristen. I’ll see you later.”
John felt sick to his stomach when he looked at her in a whole new light. ‘What did I ever see in her anyway?’ he asked himself. ‘She is a sick, manipulative little Dimera clone. I hate her now.’
Finally, Marlena, John, Brady and Belle were together back at the Penthouse and could relax a little. Marlena had settled on the floor near the fireplace, this being one of the last cold nights on which they could use it. John was trying to read some stories, but was so exhausted that he kept nodding off and the kids giggled as they tickled him to wake him so he could keep reading. Marlena watched them together for a long time, just enjoying the love and closeness she felt growing by the minute. Eventually, she took pity on the man she loved and said, “John, honey you’re awfully tired, why don’t you go ahead and go to bed and I’ll finish up the stories and get the kids down.”
He yawned several times and said, “No, Doc.. I’m wide awake, really. Aren’t I kids?” More giggles followed.
“No, Daddy we had to tickle you to wake you up so we could hear the story and it’s only a short one.”
Grinning sheepishly, he said, “Oh….I guess I didn’t realize I was so tired. I don’t want to miss anything, Doc. I’m so glad to have everybody here tonight.”
She smiled and knew they felt the same about this little family. “Me too, John. But you really haven’t gotten much rest since we left Colorado two days ago, so go on big guy and go to bed.”
He looked at the kids and giggled as he said with a sigh, “Yes, Mommy,” like he was a disappointed child.
They giggled too and Belle said, “Daddy’s being silly again, huh Mommy?” Then she proceeded to start tickling him again. Then Brady joined in and they pulled Marlena into it as well. The four of them giggled and hugged for quite awhile before John cried “Uncle!” and almost jumped off the couch forgetting about the knee. “Ow!” he winced as he moved it in a way he shouldn’t have.
“Uh…John, you…..have an injured knee, remember that?” Marlena teased. She wanted to make him laugh, but instead he seemed upset about it again. “I’m sorry, John I didn’t mean to upset you.”
He was feeling irritated about having limitations that interfered even with his ability to have fun with the kids and said, “It’s okay, Marlena I’m just a little frustrated with not being able to even horse around with the kids, having to always remember about the knee. I wish…never mind.” He stopped short then put on a different face, “Come on kids let’s go up and brush our teeth!”
Marlena, once again, watched with satisfaction as the three of them went up the stairs, the kids trying to help their father negotiate them without falling or hurting his knee. He was saying, “I sure am glad to be back with you guys again, you know I really missed you and Mommy, so much!”
Belle did it again, “Mommy and me missed you awot too. She cried wots and she said it was happy tears, but I know she was sad awot of nights, Daddy.”
The guilt washed over him instantly, ‘Oh God, Doc!’ He almost lost his balance as his little girl’s words pierced his heart. The guilt for the pain he had caused Marlena, he would never forget. These innocent comments telling of her suffering at his hand were burned in his heart and mind for all time, maybe hers too.
He looked back at her and saw that she had to look away, or he would see she still felt the pain of his ignorance and insensitivity over the months he was with Kristen. Would they ever be free of her? “Doc?” he asked, not able to say more at the moment, but wanting her to know how sorry he was for hurting her.
She didn’t answer, just shaking her head and he knew there were tears and it suddenly hit him, he had already broken his promise. He couldn’t let it go and yet what could he do now, what could he say to undo the damage he had caused her heart? Would she always doubt him and the sincerity of his love for her because he had been with Kristen? I have to do something! “Kids, can you get started without me and I’ll be right there in a minute, Daddy has to talk to Mommy, okay?” Sensing the tension, both children went toward the bathroom without a word.
He slowly descended the stairs, watching her from the back. She was trembling visibly, obviously still crying and it broke his heart to think of her crying herself to sleep because of him. He approached her slowly, wishing he could hold her, but sensing she didn’t want that from him now. “Marlena, I….know I can never undo the damage I caused your heart, but….I love you and…honey I’m so….deeply sorry for those painful nights you spent. I wish I could take it on myself, all the pain you suffered.” He had tears in his eyes for her and sounded so sincere that she could no longer avoid his gaze.
She slowly turned to face him saying, “John, I’m trying to let all that go, I am, but when Belle says something like that, it brings all the lonely nights crashing back to me and I can’t help but be reminded that you didn’t see it. You said you could feel my pain and you would do anything to protect me from it, but John you were causing it and you didn’t see it!” She was hurting and felt some anger rushing in too.
He felt all of that from her and more. Instinctively, John made a move to hold her, apologizing again, “Doc…it kills me to see you hurting, and I don’t know how to explain all that. I don’t understand what happened to me that I couldn’t see it Marlena. I’m very sorry for your pain, you know that. But, I can’t change it Doc!” She turned away from him again, not allowing him to embrace her when he made the attempt.
Waiting a moment, feeling the fear rising, he hesitantly asked the agonizing question on both their minds, “What does this mean? Do you want me to go? Was all that about us having a chance just a silly dream we had, is it too late for us?”
Marlena couldn’t answer him immediately, still hurting because of what he had not seen and the way he talked so lovingly of a woman who had hurt her deeply and kept them apart for so long. He felt he had his answer and headed toward the door, but just as he got there he turned to utter one last heartfelt comment, “I love you, Marlena. I’m so sorry I hurt you and I hope one day you can find it in your heart to truly forgive me, but if you can’t, I’ll understand.” Then the words that he thought he would never have to say like this again hung in the air for the longest seconds he’d ever experienced, “Goodbye, Doc. I’ll come for Brady in the morning, I don’t want to spoil his fun. The guard is outside the door here… if you need anything.” She knew he was crying from the way the words came out and couldn’t bear to look in his eyes now. Marlena never turned around and then immediately regretted it as the door shut behind him, leaving her in silent solitude.
She hung her head in despair, saying to herself out loud, “Oh…John, no I don’t want it to end like this! I still love you in spite of everything, but you hurt me so much and I can’t deny that any more. Oh God!” She put her hand to her mouth and broke down in tears wishing she had the strength to run after him, but she didn’t. Maybe it was too late, maybe too much pain had been exchanged.
John slumped against the door as he left, not caring that the police guard was there, standing only a few feet away. ‘Oh, Doc I love you so much and I thought…I really believed we were going to make it this time. Goodbye, my love. I wish you well and I’m so sorry for all the pain, so sorry. He wiped the tears from his face and began to leave for the loft. He was truly alone now and maybe that was as it should be, maybe he should suffer that same lonliness, it was only fair. As he got into the Jeep and tried to come up with way to drive it, he broke down again, leaning his head against the dash board as the salty moisture pooled behind his sad blue eyes. “Lord, please heal her pain and let her be happy someday. If it has to be with someone else than so be it, I just want to see her smile every day of her life.”
The window was open and he heard some noise; he looked up out of moist eyes to see her standing there. She had heard his prayer. “John, I…don’t want you to go, please stay. I still feel the pain, but I don’t want us to break it off. I want us to try to work this out…together. What do you say?”
His eyes sparkled with renewed hope, and he stammered out a nervous but excited response, “Do you really mean that? Do we still have a chance to make it? But I thought…Are you sure Marlena?”
She smiled at his enthusiasm and said, “That would be yes, yes, and yes I believe. Now come on, let me help you get out of that Jeep and back inside.”
With the widest of grins on his handsome face, he said gleefully, “Oh, Doc I love you so much! Thank you, thank you so much.” He showered her with kisses, and hugged her as if his life depended on it. The truth be told, his life did depend on it, on her love and the hope he had once again for their future.
Marlena helped John climb down out of the Jeep and they made their way back inside the Penthouse in silence, each wondering how it was that they could ever get past all the pain and mixed messages they had sent each other about their feelings, for several years now. John was realizing more each time an incident like this occurred how very deeply he had wounded Marlena by his involvement with Kristen. ‘Can we ever really get past it or is it going to always sit there, ready to encroach and take away our fleeting happiness? ‘God, I know I’ve hurt her and I ask you to please show me what to do, what to say to help her heal and believe in my love again. All I want is for her to happy again and if that happiness can be found with me I will be overjoyed, but if not then show me so I can get out of her way and let her move on with someone else’. As much as that pained him, John felt it with his entire being. He would do what was best for her, what she wanted from now on.
Marlena had some similar thoughts. She had to finally admit that forgiving and forgetting was definitely easier said than done. She loved John, but each time she was reminded of all the time apart, all the times he talked about his love for and the goodness of Kristen, she felt hurt and angry with him. Marlena wanted to forgive him and thought she had, but realized she too had been fooling herself. He had hurt her deeply with his insensitivity to her feelings and his unwillingness to confess his true feelings for her and ask her directly about hers, no matter the outcome. This still made her wonder in some moments whether he was the same man she had fallen in love with so many years ago now.
After they were safely in the Penthouse, they decided to make sure the kids were okay upstairs and found them snuggled up together in the same bed, sleeping soundly. They looked like two little angels, and John and Marlena found themselves wishing they could just curl up like that and forget about all the pain and suffering. As their silent exchange told each other of this thought, there was a sadness in the eyes that admitted it wasn’t so easy for adults. This anguish was real and had to be faced head on with a willingness to experience all that came with it, even if meant that they would never again be a couple. It was this truth that John and Marlena found the hardest to admit. They really might not make it through the fire this time, and it tore at the fabric of the deepest, most intimate friendship either had ever known.
The two of them went back to sit by the fire, and still neither had spoken since the exchange out by the Jeep. John wanted to say something to ease the tension and alleviate the fear that surrounded them, but found nothing. Finally Marlena spoke, asking a question, “John, what have you been thinking?”
He was fighting back tears once again, but kept them from falling. “I was wondering if…we’re going to make it through this and…..praying. I’m scared Doc, I mean really scared that if this doesn’t work we….we’ll lose the friendship too and I….can’t begin to imagine myself without you.” He just couldn’t hold back those damm tears anymore, and they began to leak out one at a time, as he said with worried passion, holding her hands in his, “I love you so much, Doc.”
“Me too, John. I don’t want to.. lose you either. You have known me better than anyone else in this life and if….I just couldn’t bear losing the friendship either.” She was weeping openly and they moved closer still, holding each other for a long time, not saying a word.
After awhile, John expressed what was in his heart, “Marlena, what are we going to do? Should we just.. forget about trying to recapture the romantic love to save the friendship.. because if that’s what you want, then I’ll go now.” There was agony in his eyes, but she could tell he meant it.
It was touching to learn that he was willing to let that go to save their relationship, but it might not be feasible, considering their complicated history. “Oh, John I don’t even know if that’s possible, and besides, either way we have to deal with all the pain that has passed between us these past few years. And I do want you here with me. Please just hold me, John, I love you.”
“Doc, I need you so much and I’m so sorry for everything. I wish to God I could put all the pain on me, but I can’t do it, I don’t know how! I know I really messed things up….please forgive me!” He was so upset and her heart went out to him.
Marlena wanted to tell him what he needed to hear, but at the same time, there were still doubts in her mind because of the past and she was not going to lie to herself again or to him, not anymore. “John, I can see how much you love me and how sorry you are now, but… I just don’t know if that’s enough. I’ve been realizing that I was hurt more deeply than I first thought.”
He managed to stand up completely unassisted and then went over to the stairs. After a weary sigh, he spoke with a sense of being resigned to his fate, “Well, I guess that’s all there is to say then. I’m going to go to bed now… goodnight.” He was in great distress, but this time he hid his face from her. “I’ll plan on staying at the loft from now on. You can let me know if there is anything left for us. Otherwise, I’ll leave you alone.”
She felt some compassion for him, but also some anger as it seemed he was withdrawing, retreating from her and her feelings again and that she would not allow, not this time. “No, John you aren’t going to run from this! You have to stay and work this out with me!”
He whirled around to face her, responding defensively, his own frustration mounting, “What do you want from me, Marlena? I have screwed up big time and I have admitted it and groveled at your feet, begging for another chance. I thought you gave that to me and now here we are again! I don’t know what else I can do or say to change the situation. I think you need to decide whether you still want me or not,” he said sadly believing she didn’t now.
He was right; she did need to decide what she wanted, and maybe they needed some time apart in order for her to do that. “John, I think maybe you’re right, you should go back to the loft and I’ll take some time to figure all of this out. I do love you…”
Somehow that didn’t help at all. “Okay, Doc whatever you want. I guess I’ll sleep down here on the couch tonight and then leave in the morning, if that’s okay with you.”
“Of course it is, John. Goodnight,” she said as she passed near him to go up the stairs. There was no tender embrace, no words of acceptance, only the silent scream of hearts being ripped apart and a once soul deep bond slowly disintegrating before their eyes.
After she had gone upstairs, John went back over to the fire and sat down, allowing himself to be mesmerized by the flickering flames. ‘I can’t believe we’ve come back to this place, I thought…. This is worse than it’s ever been between us and it seems like our relationship is fading fast, friendship and all. Oh, Marlena I wish I could turn back the hands of time to those early days… when we were married and I thought I was Roman. His minded drifted backwards and he recalled their wedding day… the tears of joy they wept, the special time of making love at the house. It was pure love they felt… no confusion, no other loves to complicate the picture… Life was so simple then; the only threats to our relationship were external. We knew our love could stand against anything life sent our way. Where did that trust and faith go?
Acknowledging that he had no real power to change his circumstances, John turned to the heavens for help, asking respectfully, “Lord, if it is in your will I ask that you help us find our way back to love again. You know that she means more to me than my own life, but I do want what makes her happy, even if that means letting her go.. forever.” Just the mere idea of living without her for the rest of his life brought back the salty substance to his weary eyes. Immersing himself in pleasant memories, he laid there and stared into the flickering flames pondering the secrets of life and love, praying for one more chance with the woman who was still in his heart and soul, more than a decade after those memories were made.
Marlena was lying in bed upstairs dealing with the same issues, and trying to fall asleep. John was the man she loved and she was actually thinking of letting him go when he said he loved, wanted and needed her more than ever. She reviewed all the painful times over the past couple of years, the time in Aremid seeing him so afraid to die, but wanting to shield her from that fear, saying goodbye to the children with deeper anguish than she had ever witnessed. And, then when it was over, thinking it was Kristen he truly loved, Marlena had urged him to give the woman a chance and the couple reconciled. If only she’d known what was to follow, she would never have given him the slightest encouragement to work things out with that… lying, manipulative witch. She would have told him how much she loved and wanted him, how she realized when she thought he was going to die in the gas chamber that he was the only one she loved, her feelings for Roman having faded with time.
Then there was Paris…. that hideous cage of Stefano’s and John’s attempts to save her, his near execution following a farcical trial. She had told him of her love, but somehow he had not known she meant romantic love. Then all the deception at Kristen’s hands and John’s misguided trust and belief in her goodness, his reluctance to reveal to Marlena how he really felt. Whatever the reason: guilt, a desire to protect her from pain, a fear of rejection… he hadn’t been honest with her and it hurt. ‘Maybe it is too late, but… Oh.. I do love him…’ she was thinking as she remembered their reunion and all the teasing fun, the flowers and candy, skiing together, the song dedications, the radio station, tearful apologies and confessions of undying love. ‘Can I really walk away from all of that? He does love me and he is so obviously in such pain because of hurting me, it’s in his eyes and in the way he holds me so gently now. He’s aching for me, I told him I did forgive him and now I’m prepared to send him away… Not knowing how to resolve her dilemma, she too turned to the Lord for assistance with her plight, “Oh dear God, what should I do here? I want to forgive and forget. I want to move on with John, but it is so hard to do that. Please help me in this time of confusion.. to do what is best for us both. You know that.. I love him so…”
An Amy Grant and Vince Gill song played quietly in the background on both the radios where each sat contemplating their future, and the lyrics seemed to capture their situation fairly accurately.
You’ve been up all night, thinking it was over
He’s been out of sight, at least for the moment
But when something this strong’s got a hold on you
The odds are ninety nine to one it’s got a hold on him too
Now when the house is dark when you’re all alone there
You’ve gotta listen to your heart, put away your foolish pride
Though the storm is breaking, thunder shakes the walls
Bound with a firm foundation
Ain’t it never, never, never gonna fall
Well, I bet you any amount of money..
He’ll be coming back to you
Oh, there ain’t no doubt about it
Sometimes life is funny
You think you’re in your darkest hour
When the lights are coming on in the house of love
When the lights are coming on in the house of love…..
About an hour later they were each at a place where sleep beckons the body, but the mind won’t let it happen, and somehow they both ended up in the kitchen to get a bite to eat. Each reached for the box of ice cream at the exact same moment, so lost in thought they had not known the other was there until fingers touched and eyes met. This strange coincidence made them look at each other for longer than a second or two, and in that moment it seemed the tension began to fade away; they started laughing at themselves, recognizing and thankful for that fact that even in pain they had such similar ideas. This was it, the instant when no words were necessary. Somehow, John and Marlena knew in their hearts that their love would weather yet another storm and remain forevermore.
They fixed themselves ice cream sundaes and then talked all night long. Their love was strong enough for doubts and anger, and it was glorious to discover that the special bond they shared now enveloped them in its familiar warm embrace, as if never weakened. Rock solid and united we stand, divided we fall; that was the prevailing sentiment. They would stay together at the Penthouse and work through all the issues that had separated them. John had even said that if Marlena thought they needed some therapy he would go. He loved her enough to bare his soul to a stranger if that were what it took for them to save both their love and friendship.
John and Marlena had fallen asleep in each others’ arms wearing only their robes and nightclothes as they finished talking about anything and everything. John had said they could build a new house and Marlena said it didn’t matter to her. He had said they could hire a cook and she had thrown pillows. She told him he should make himself a workout room and he said the bedroom would be enough for quite awhile and they laughed. It was so glorious to get past the awful tension and fear for the relationship. And to think if hadn’t been for that box of ice cream… It was like Alice always said, true love finds a way to make it through the fire and comes out stronger for the struggle. This was certainly true of this great love between John Black and Marlena Evans.
They were now in a somewhat awkward position on the couch. John woke up with an ache in his shoulders and back and he tried to reposition himself without waking her to no avail. The more he tried to ignore, the pain the more it seemed to hurt, his knee especially, which throbbed from being trapped underneath Marlena’s body. He didn’t want to wake her, but…still. “Ow!” he finally yelped, not able to hold it back any longer.
She startled awake, “John, what’s wrong?”
“Oh…sorry, Doc. It’s my knee. It’s sort of in an awkward position. Sorry to wake you up, you were sleeping so peacefully.”
She was slightly irritated that he would sit there in pain so he didn’t have to awaken her, “John, you shouldn’t sit there in pain. I could have gone back to sleep again, you knuckle head.”
He grinned sheepishly and said, “Yes, Dr. Evans. So, now that we’re both wide awake what do you want to do?” he asked as he raised his eyebrows in a slightly seductive manner wanting to send a signal, but not pressuring her in any way.
Marlena winked and smiled in return and then said, “Oh..I don’t know..maybe we could talk some more.” She waited to see the disappointed look on his face and it was there for a second before he responded.
“Um hmm, we could do that,” he said as he nodded his head, trying to sound nonchalant about it.
“But, that was not what you had in mind, was it baby?”
He wasn’t about to lie, but he didn’t want her to feel bad or comply because it was only what he wanted. “Well, no but it’s okay. We’ll do whatever you want to do, Marlena.”
She wanted to tease him some more and just couldn’t think of a thing to say at the moment. So instead she kissed him with sudden passion and he was taken aback. They hadn’t kissed much since returning from Colorado; there had been too much tension. He responded powerfully, feeling the overwhelming desire for her come rushing through him. He simply had to pull back and see what she wanted before he took it further.
Marlena felt her body stir powerfully in response to his kiss and wondered if this was the time for them to be together for the first time since the affair ended. Moving ever so slightly out of his grasp, she was wondering in her own mind, ‘Oh God, are we ready yet? I want him so much, I need him so much.. but..’
John saw the questions in her eyes and asked, “Doc? do you want us to make love, it’s allright if you don’t, but if the answer is no.. we have to stop now, honey…” He tried to simply ask the question, but couldn’t keep the sounds of passion out of his voice or the heated desire from his eyes as she stared at him, sending mixed signals.
She made the decision swiftly, “Yes, I do. Make love to me, John please. I love you so much.” Marlena let the love and passion she felt for him show freely in her eyes and it was a singularly marvelous sensation for both of them. It had so long since they could express their love openly and honestly. This was the moment they had waited for, ached for, prayed for, and dreamed about and finally it was upon them. They were breathless with the sweet anticipation of blissful intimacy.
He breathed in her sweet aroma and held his breath for a long moment, savoring her answer and then let it out and said, “Oh, Marlena… I love you so very much and I want to make love to you like never before. I want to make you feel so good and so loved, honey.”
John gazed at her face and then began to touch every inch of its surface, as if worshiping her. He looked deeply into her eyes letting her see all the longing and pent up passion of years without her and she was moved indescribably. Then, after gently romoving her robe and pulling the straps of her nightgown down off her shoulders, he kissed her in the same way all over her body starting with her breasts then moving very slowly downward. She felt more desire to meld with him than ever before as he caressed and stimulated the entire surface of her skin with his hands and mouth, treating her as the goddess she was to him.
“Oh, Marlena you are so beautiful to me. All I ever want to do is love you…” His desire for her was climbing to dizzying heights very swiftly, as if he were feeling it for the first time. He felt himself come alive; in some ways he had been dead inside while apart from her and her body, which he now knew was so perfectly designed to join with his. This love was simply meant to be, and nothing would ever stand in its way again. That was a solemn vow they made.
Marlena was quickly becoming heated with her aching need for him and she moaned, “Oh, John I want you so…” It was as if her body too was being revived when it had seemed lifeless for so long now, and she was free to love him completey, her heart meant only for him now. She wanted to touch him too. After removing his robe, she began to run her fingertips over the firm muscular skin of his chest and then moved lower while kissing him again, first running her tongue around the edges of his lips. His response to her moves pleased her as well; she smiled when she felt the quickening of his heartbeat and heard the soft sounds of mounting pleasure he made with each kiss, each swipe of her tongue. “John…oh John, I have wanted you like this for so long.”
The remaining clothing was removed within seconds. John’s breathing was becoming ragged and labored, his heart pounding faster, as he continued to kiss and touch her everywhere. “Oh, Doc when we love, I lose myself in you. I need you..so much!” She kissed him once more, their tongues colliding intensely and it sparked a fire that exploded deep within them both, the seering flames engulfing them completely. The world consisted only of them and how their bodies were responding to each other. “Oh.. Doc… oh, it’s so good… it’s so good!” he cried, his body screaming for release.
“Take me now, John! Take me, please.” She was lost in the heated rush of passion and it was wondrous as every nerve ending responded and she felt tingles all over her body as she peaked in ecstasy. She began to cry and giggle at the same time.
John felt the same fire in his entire body and couldn’t hold back a second longer, moving powerfully up and down over her body as he neared climax. Neither seemed to notice the awkwardness of their position due to his immobilized knee. He called out quietly, “Oh, Marlena it feels so incredible… I love you so much.” He felt a few salty tears slipping down his cheek. He was crying with joy for their shared experience of ecstasy, for the fact they were finally together again. Then he too began to giggle a little and couldn’t stop himself from making a joke about it. “Well, I would safely say that.. *that* was worth the wait,” he concluded, still breathing heavily from their activity, while lying on top of her.
She chuckled lightly and said dreamily, “Uh….I’d give it about a twelve, I think,” and she giggled some more as she relaxed under his body, just enjoying the reality of being with him this way again. The two of them shed a few more tears even as they giggled at the tremendous release of so much pent-up sexual tension.
It was a blessed union of body and soul between two individuals who were slowly beginning to merge into one again. John and Marlena were finally moving forward and their amazing and incomprehensible bond of love surrounded them and blanketed them in its warmth and comfort as they fell fast asleep again in each other’s arms, where each knew they had always belonged. It was a love written in the book of life. It was simply meant to be and now they would never again be separated, and never, yes never have to say goodbye again.
John and Marlena stayed asleep in each other’s arms for the rest of the night. The next morning they found themselves in the bedroom upstairs and neither remembered when they had gone upstairs. It seemed like a dream to John. He had wished and hoped and prayed to wake up with her this way for as long as he could remember, ever since the day he watched a plane go down thinking she was in it. He had made so many mistakes concerning his love for her and had truly believed they would never be together like this and so he had to pinch himself to be certain it was not just another dream. As he did so, the love of his life woke up also and saw him make the move and giggled, “Oh so you thought that incredible night was a dream, huh? Well, baby just come over here and kiss me to see if I’m real.”
“No argument there, I think that will be a much better way to tell if this is real than pinching myself,” he said smiling as he complied with her request. “Mmmm, kiss me just a little longer so I’ll know for sure.” Marlena was only too happy to comply and they began to feel temperatures rising quickly again. “Okay, I’m convinced,” he said dreamily.
“Good, then don’t stop there, help me make sure you’re real, I’m still not convinced yet.” They continued to kiss and hands started roving all over each others skin and she said through their kiss, “Mmm hmmm, yes.. this is the real thing. My dreams were never quite so.. warm.”
They laughed and continued to make love again, this time it was slow and gentle and sweet. John and Marlena relaxed into their love and enjoyed the sight, sound, feel, smell and taste of each other as their bodies melded into one again. It was a wonderful love they shared, one that words had never truly captured. Love did not really seem to describe the soul-deep connection they shared, and though it had been damaged it seemed to be rapidly deepening again and it warmed their hearts to feel it surrounding them.
Both were in awe of that bond because it was not something they worked at, it had been there almost from the first day they met and had remained and deepened especially during the traumatic experiences and even in their years apart, except recently when each had allowed themselves to make choices that now they could not understand or condone. The Dimera family had caused them both so many problems and pain over the years and they had almost allowed that evil to destroy their connection. They would not forget that and vowed to never hold back their feelings or try to protect the other in silent suffering. That had been foolish and almost cost them what they held most dear in life, their love and friendship. A lesson learned painfully but only once. Ther love would be steadfast and abiding and they would never again be separated.
As they quietly lounged in the afterglow, John had an idea for another surprise. He had an errand to run and needed to find a good excuse for getting out of the house without arousing her suspicions. He got up to use the restroom and wash up quickly. Then as he was mentally planning the surprise and checking on the kids he looked down at Brady and recalled the fear he had felt for his son for two days while he didn’t know where Brady was or if he were safe. He gently kissed his boy on the forehead and as he did, something Abe had said popped into his mind. Vivian had been at the Mansion that morning. What was her part in all of the lies and deception? Marlena had been right about the reason for the sudden “close friendship” with Kristen, but what did she have on Kristen specifically? He had to know that and if “Aunt Viv” had anything to do with Brady being taken. If she did….He had to confront her this morning before the two of them had a chance to collaborate any further and make up some excuses.
John went back into the bedroom and started to get dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt and knew Marlena was wondering already what he was up to. “John, where are you going?”
He turned around to face her and answered, “Uh..Doc I have to run a couple of errands this morning and I’ll call you in awhile, okay?”
He seemed a little upset about something and though she wanted to ask his expression told her to give him that time. “Okay, but give me a kiss to remember you by while you’re gone,” she said with that sexy wink of hers.
“Why certainly my dear,” he said in a playful voice and then he pulled her into a very sensual embrace, kissing her very passionately. Then he said as he relished the feel of her next to his body, “Oh, baby it feels so good to have you back in my arms again.”
She smiled and said, “Yes, about as good as it feels to be there I would imagine.” And then she returned his kiss with a powerful one of her own and he found himself breathless again and, quickly forgetting why it was that was that he planned leave her this morning. “Uh….Marlena, I…. did I say I had to go somewhere? I can’t seem to remember why that was at the moment,” he said with lovesick eyes.
Marlena laughed again and then said, “Well, after all this time it sure is nice to know that I’ve still got it….baby.”
He was admiring her curves and remembering their night of passion, saying in agreement, “Oh. yea… you’ve still got it lady, you make my head spin..my heart race…and.. I feel like a kid again when I’m with you, Doc!” he said enthusiastically. “Listen, when I finish with this little errand what do you say we.. both play hooky and go on an adventure with the kids someplace?”
“Sounds wonderful to me, John. I’ll have them ready in say a couple of hours. Would you like me to cook something for us to eat before you leave?”
John didn’t want to spoil the moment, but on the other hand… “Uh..no sweety thank you for the offer, but I really do have to get going. I’ll just grab a quick bite on the road, okay?” He tried not to give it away that it was her cooking.
Marlena realized what he was saying and responded, “John, you don’t have to make up excuses you know…I know why you don’t want me to cook” She had a wounded expression on her face.
He felt bad, “Oh, honey I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, but..”
“Okay, so I’m a lousy cook, but boy can I whet your appetite for other things…heh heh heh.” She smiled so seductively as she disrobed slowly and headed toward the bathroom swinging her hips exaggeratedly, leaving him full of heated desire for her.
All he could do was groan and wish he didn’t feel the need to see Viv like he did. “I’ll be back….soon…*very* soon Marlena!” he called out as she closed the door leaving him standing there….wanting her again.
On the drive over to the Mansion, John kept replaying various scenarios in his mind. He couldn’t draw any definitive conclusions, but he vowed that if Vivian had anything to do with Kristen’s scheme to scare them by taking Brady, she was going to be very sorry indeed. John had to consciously calm his anger at the woman who was one of his few biological family members and he realized more all the time how little those ties meant to him. The Brady’s were his family and always would be, thankfully. The Alamains’ were his birth family only and that name had no meaning in his life now. ‘So, Vivian don’t count on using that line about being family to help you now.’ he was saying to himself as he neared the imposing mansion.
When he arrrived, Ivan happened to be looking out near the front door and he started to panic in the way only he could do.. that is hysterically funny to watch, if one has the privilege to do so. He started to walk rapidly toward Vivian’s room and then turned around hurriedly, realizing he ought to answer the door in case John came in without knocking. The man did did have a key as Kate and Victor had said he should in case of emergency. John would probably consider this an emergency. Then at the last possible second Ivan went quickly upstairs to warn Vivian that he was coming. Ivan made it back to the front door just as John approached on crutches with fire in his eyes, and a tension in his body that indicated the man was prepared for a confrontation. Ivan thought to himself that John Black didn’t hold much back when he was angry about something. He didn’t seem to care who knew it, so intent on his cause was the man. ‘He is upset with Madam and he won’t be turned away by any excuse so I just better let him in and hope for the best.’
“Why hello Mr Black, good morning… What can I do for you this morning, and how is your leg?” he asked pleasantly.
John had no patience for Ivan, “Cut the crap Ivan, where is she?” he asked as he pushed past the man to head toward the stairs.
“Well, Madam is still sleeping, John and she hates for her beauty sleep to be disturbed, you know.”
John laughed harshly, “Beauty sleep, yea right.. Well, a helluva lot more than that will be disturbed if she doesn’t see me this morning. You tell her that will ya? I’ll give her five minutes and I’m going up there whether she’s dressed or not, have you got that?” he threatened, standing uncomfortably close.
Ivan was taken aback by the man’s intensity and he became flustered but said only, “Uh…yes sir. I’ll tell her exactly what you said.”
John waited downstairs pacing and counting the minutes. He didn’t really want to waste this time or be apart from Marlena now, but he had to confront the woman. Undoubtedly she did have something on Kristen. Doc had been right about that all along and he had been too….clueless he had to admit to that, to see the truth of what she said. Of course, Vivian never did anything from the goodness of her heart or for family as she and Kristen had said. When he looked back he wondered how and why he had believed a word either of those two women had said. It was almost like….‘No John don’t go there. You just messed up big time and Kristen was once a fairly good person who changed. Go forward now, no looking back,’ he cautioned himself. It wasn’t going to help to beat himself up for his mistakes. All he could do was start over with the person he truly loved.
As he concluded this line of thought, he was surprised to see Vivian coming down the stairs within his time frame. “Why, hello John, how are you this morning?”
“Well, Viv I’m impressed with your timeliness. Thanks for getting ready so quickly. Now that the pleasantries have been dispensed with, let’s cut to the chase, shall we? What do you have on Kristen, Aunt Viv?” he asked, emphasizing the last two words. She should have been loyal to the family ties but wasn’t, so his “ex” had to have something on Vivian, as well. He didn’t have time for both.
“Why, John so cynical aren’t you now that you’ve gone back to the good Doctor Evans. She might be a bad influence on you, nephew.”
He had no patience for this, “Cut the crap, and tell me what you know or you will be very sorry for your refusal.” Seeing her hesitance he said, “Look, whatever she promised you, I’ll match it and then some, so come clean *now* or you’ll regret it *big* time!”
Vivian paused as if considering his offer and her newfound loyalty to Kristen, almost a kinship because of the ‘man being stolen’ theme. John moved closer threatening her with his imposing physical presence. She didn’t think he would actually hurt her, but one never knew. He had been played for a fool and that unpleasant experience had been known to do strange things to a man’s ego.
“All right, John I’ll play, but you have to give me your word you will hold none of her schemes against me personally if I tell you what I know, and that you will secret me out of town safely with lots of cash.”
He laughed at her and then agreed, “Always got an angle huh, Auntie? Alright, I agree. Now tell me all of it, everything you know.”
“You better sit down John, there’s a lot to tell,” she said with a weary sigh before doing the same. “First of all you were right about my motives all along. I wanted a vote to stay on at Titan and I learned about Kristen’s lies so I got her to vote my way in order to have her secrets kept quiet. Oh, and I had nothing to do with Brady’s little day trip. That was strictly Kristen’s doing.” She noticed he hadn’t sat down yet, “John, I mean it you better sit down.”
He chuckled and then did as she suggested, almost out of curiosity. “Okay, tell me what you know already!” he then said impatiently, when she paused again.
“John, the baby….little John Jr…he’s not yours. Kristen miscarried in Paris and she faked the entire pregnancy and then with some help from one dead father of hers, she found a pregnant woman to give up her baby for Kristen to pass off as yours. The other woman went to all the prenatal appointments, gave birth and then gave the baby to Kristen at the hospital. It was her that you married in the delivery room, not Kristen.”
John was completely unprepared for such shocking news and was left speechless for several moments as he searched Vivian’s face and eyes for some sign that it was a lie. He found none; she was telling him the truth. John Jr. was not his child and his baby had died months ago. “Oh My God….Oh my God…” He couldn’t think of anything else to say. “Why? How could she.. why would she *do* that?” He knew the answer even as he asked the question. It had been one scheme after another meant to keep him away from the woman he really loved, Marlena. Kristen had wanted to trap him into marriage and it was successful. But to make him think….‘Oh John Jr. you aren’t my son at all!’ This agonizing truth sent him reeling and he couldn’t think straight, but he had to ask, “Is that all of it, who is the real mother, do you know? Tell me Vivian, Now!” he demanded, rapidly becoming agitated.
Hating to see her nephew endure such heartbreak, Vivian told him immediately, “Her name is Susan Banks and she’s still here in Salem, here is her apartment number, ” Vivian said as she handed him a slip of paper. ” John…be prepared, she’s a little unbalanced so to speak.”
He felt some bitter anger setting in and he said, “Oh, and what are you and Kristen..two perfectly sane, but evil individuals? I’ll take a little unbalanced any day, thank you.” Then he turned away and walked slowly out of the Kiriakis Estate. Once outside he felt himself ready to vomit and did so promptly, feeling ashamed and foolish as well. John was devastated by the fact that his newborn son was never his child at all, and the family he had thought he was starting a few weeks back was completely based on one falsehood after another, a chain of lies Kristen had been building for over a year now.
“My God, what a FOOL I’ve been!” he said to himself. ‘Oh, Marlena, I am so sorry for that time I wasted on her…when…Stop it, John there’s no point in going back down that road. It’s over and now it’s time to start fresh with Marlena again. Lifting up a quick prayer, he said, “Thank you God for bringing us together.”
John began to go to the apartment to see this Susan Banks and then decided that he had better talk with Marlena first. She could help him with all the conflicting emotions he held inside; she was always so great with all of that. So, he got into the Jeep again as best he could and drove it awkwardly back to the Penthouse, his leg still in a restrictive brace. ‘How am I going to tell her all this when I still can’t believe it’s real myself ? he wondered as he slowly made his way into the elevator at the Penthouse. As he approached the door, he was greeted by three smiling faces. Belle couldn’t contain her excitement and blurted out what she’d been told, “Hi daddy, Mommy says we get to play together someplace really fun today!
“Yea, where are we going Daddy?” asked Brady hoping it was something special.
John didn’t want to dampen his spirits, but he couldn’t muster the kind of enthusiasm the boy needed and Brady’s smile faded as he looked at his father. Marlena didn’t miss a thing, and suggested that Brady and Belle watch a Disney video for just a little while so Mommy and Daddy could talk. The kids eagerly complied, as she went to John and hugged him before asking what was wrong. She decided to wait until he said something.
Finally he spoke, crossing the room slowly before turning toward her and saying softly, “Marlena….I went to see Vivian. She said….” He closed his eyes to make himself clear his head, “She said the baby isn’t mine Doc. Kristen…miscarried in Paris and then faked the pregnancy. This next part is tough,” he said, pausing before telling her what he knew would upset her. “It seems that Stefano is still alive, and he helped find some woman to masquerade as Kristen for her doctor’s appointments, and then this other woman had the baby and sold it to Kristen. Oh, and the marriage ceremony…it was this other woman I married, not Kristen.” He laughed in spite of his sadness, and said with a sardonic tone, “I guess that’s the bright spot in all this madness, I’m not legally married to Kristen because it was this substitute that signed the license and took the vows, so the marriage is invalid. We don’t have to wait around for Kristen’s attorneys if we want to marry right away.” He was smiling through the pain that was clearly visible behind in his eyes.
What could she say, “Oh, John I’m so sorry about this. I know how much you love John, Jr. I’m really sorry, John.” She wanted to deal with one thing at a time. They would get to Stefano later.
“Yea, me too. I just can’t believe it, this insanity just keeps getting worse all the time. Right when I think I’ve heard it all something even more twisted comes up about her. How could I have been so blind to her lies and schemes, Marlena?” he asked with sad eyes glistening.
“Let’s not go through the guilt and self-blame routine again, it just causes us more pain and I think we’ve both had enough don’t you think?”
He sighed and said, “Yea….so what do we do now? Is there any way I can keep the baby or does he automatically go to the birth mother in cases like this?”
“Well the courts will probably evaluate the situation and talk to everyone involved to make a determination of custody for him. It depends on her fitness as a parent. She did sell her baby John and you are a good father so you have a fighting chance.” she said encouragingly.
He hugged her tightly and said, “Thanks Doc, I needed to hear that right about now. You are so wonderful and you have never made me feel like the idiot I know I must look like to you sometimes with all of this,” he said feeling every bit the fool.
“Oh, John please don’t do that to yourself. We have been through such terrible pain because of Kristen, and I don’t want to see you berate yourself any more for it.” She touched his face gently and said, “I love you, I forgive you, and I believe in you so don’t waste your time with it anymore. Let’s just do what we need to do to fight for your son, okay?”
He smiled with wonder. The woman standing before him never ceased to amaze him, and he gazed at her with adoration before replying lovingly, “Okay…you’re right it’s just a waste of time, thanks again, Doc, for all your support. I love you so much, Marlena.” They just held each other for awhile, content to remain in a warm embrace and then called Mickey for a referral on their case.
Marlena felt bad about what John had learned about the baby and wanted to do something to make him feel better so she called Caroline and began to arrange a party at where else, the Brady Pub. They loved any excuse for a party, and the idea of John and Marlena getting back together more than sufficed. She had said, “Oh, Marlena I am so happy for the two of you. I have known you belonged together for quite some time now and both Shawn and I would love to have a party to celebrate this. I’m sorry you were apart all this time because of what Kristen was doing.” John had mentioned it very briefly when he told them Brady was safe and sound.
“We are too, Caroline but we’re trying to put all that behind us as much as possible. We’re working through all the pain and doubts and I think we are finally moving forward except…” She stopped and thought about what they had just learned and the expression on John’s face as he told her about the baby not being his child.
“What is it, Marlena?” asked Caroline sensing something was upsetting her.
“John found out today from Vivian when he went to confront her about her involvement with Kristen that the baby isn’t his. Kristen miscarried in Paris, faked the pregnancy and found a woman to sell her baby. She substituted at the OB appointments and gave the baby to Kristen after delivering. This other woman is the one he married in the delivery room. Oh…and as if that weren’t enough Stefano is alive and he helped her with her schemes.” She sighed heavily as she finished telling Caroline the details.
Caroline was truly shocked by it all and hesitated to speak. Then she finally said, “My God, how could she have done all that? How could we all have been so easily fooled by her? Poor John he must be devastated by all of this!”
“Yes, he is. He is trying to let it go, but things keep happening to remind him of the pain. It’s hard for both of us to get past it all. I sent him up to rest awhile; were waiting for a call from Mickey for a referral because John wants to pursue custody of…the baby. He loves that boy, Caroline.”
“You two have been through enough pain for a dozen lifetimes. I’m so sorry for all of this and a party to celebrate your reunion is a terrific idea. Don’t you worry about a thing Marlena, I’ll take care of it all,” said Caroline as they finished the conversation.
Marlena wanted to argue but said, “Okay, I’ll let you. Thank you so much, you are being so wonderful to us..with everything that has happened.”
“Marlena, the past is gone. Let’s just concentrate on your future happiness with the man you love now, John Black. All right?”
She was moved by this total acceptance of the woman whose son had been so devastated when he learned of the affair between Marlena and John that he divorced her and subsequently left town. “Thank you so much. It means everything to me to hear you give us your blessing. Goodbye Caroline, we’ll see you later today, then.”
John was supposed to be resting his leg and that was what Marlena thought he was doing. Actually, he was working on a surprise for her and she would have no idea it was coming because she wouldn’t think he had time to arrange it. He smiled as he imagined the look on her face when she realized what he had done. He felt bad about the courtship so far. He had barely started giving her all the romance she deserved because of the injury to his leg and then everything with Brady and this news about the baby.
So, tonight the romance and surprises would start again. He ordered a new dress from Salem’s best dress shop with matching bag and shoes, and he arranged for a massage therapist, manicurist, and hair dresser all to come to the house to spoil her. He wanted to spoil her every day for the rest of her sweet life. Her smile was all the reward he ever wanted for all of it. To see her smile with joy was one of the most treasured experiences of his life and every time she did his heart fluttered, his stomach filled with butterflies, and he was overcome with love for her. She affected him like no other woman in this life and he felt truly blessed to have her back in his arms. Just twelve hours earlier he wondered if even the friendship would survive the pain that had resulted from his ill-fated involvement with Kristen. “Thank you Lord for giving us a miracle. Thank you for ice cream cravings in the middle of the night,” he said to himself as he remembered their fingers touching, and then the long gaze into each others’ eyes, and the laughter that followed. It was at that moment each knew they would make it through the roughest period of their relationship and eventually be completely healed from the pain.
As the morning wore on, he decided it was safe for him to come down and besides, the people he had called would be arriving soon. He was like a child who had just picked out his first gift for a parent and was filled with anticipation of seeing her eyes and smile when they started to arrive to spoil her.
The doorbell rang and Marlena went to answer it, and found several people who looked as if they planned to stay awhile. A striking woman with dark hair and bright eyes said quite pleasantly, “Hello, Dr. Evans we’re here to give you a massage, facial, manicure, do your hair, and whatever else you want. Mr. Black told us to give you the works!”
John hobbled quickly down the stairs, almost falling as he heard the door chime. He didn’t want to miss her expression; he just made it in time to see the most dazzling smile grace that incredible face of hers. That moment was worth all the gold in the world to him, and he grinned from ear to ear as she ran over and gave him a wonderful passionate kiss filled with the promise of more to follow the moment they were alone again. “Oh, John how did you? You were supposed to be resting, Oh you…” she said when she looked at his face. He simply shrugged his shoulders and flashed that infectious grin. It was so endearing that even their guests had to chuckle at him.
“So, I take it you like my surprise?” he asked with eyes twinkling with pride.
“If you didn’t guess the answer to that question by now you really are a clueless wonder, John,” she said with an exaggerated wink and smile. This time he threw a pillow at her, but smiled warmly as he did so. They could actually joke about it now. What a relief it was.
Marlena went over to the couch to settle in for all the things the good folks had promised. She was beginning to relax at just the thought of a massage and all the other wonderful surprises John had arranged, having no idea there was even more to come. John settled in across the room to watch her enjoy herself. Seeing her happy and relaxed was truly a gift from God to him. She had been through such pain in her life and he wanted it to end forever. To that end, he vowed to never be the cause of pain and to do all in his power to shield her from anything else that could hurt her.
While she was occupied, John decided to go talk to someone about another aspect of his plan to romance her, so he left her a note to meet him later that evening when she was ready, but hopefully around 7:00PM, at the Penthouse Grill. He didn’t tell her what else he was doing or where he would be in the mean time because he wanted her to be totally surprised. She certainly would be and so would many others who thought he was going to be the one surprised in a completely different way at a different location. Even the best laid plans….
Marlena couldn’t help herself; she had fallen asleep after getting the massage and when she woke up there was a catered lunch sitting in front of her. It was 2:00 in the afternoon, and she had slept through the midday meal. Therefore, the nice people John had hired for the day ordered lunch guessing when she would wake up just in time to eat it while it was warm. She smiled and asked, “Did he plan this too?” Marlena asked, looking at one of her favorite sandwiches in the world, a smoked turkey reuben, a generous plate of fruit, and a tall glass of iced tea from her favorite restaurant in town.
The three ladies smiled sweetly and nodded their heads as if to say, ‘I wish the man I’m seeing would do something like this for me,’ and she smiled sheepishly, feeling slightly embarrassed. Then she started to eat offering some of the fruit to her guests, who politely turned her down, saying they had eaten already. Next was the facial, manicure and hairdo. It was so glorious to be spoiled this way she didn’t notice that John had made himself scarce. After these experiences were complete the doorbell rang again. It was the dress shop with it’s delivery; John had gone down to make sure they chose something she would like and to give them the correct size which he had checked earlier. He thought she was more beautiful and sexy than ever before, but still he couldn’t get the size wrong. That would be an unpardonable sin. She was completely overwhelmed by his choice; it was exactly the kind of dress she would have loved to buy for a special date with him. “How does he do this? He amazes me!” she was enthusiastically asking her companions for the day, who only smiled and said things like, “He pays close attention, and he loves you… very much, it seems.”
And then it dawned on her….”Oh my gosh what time is it?” Marlena exclaimed worriedly. She was supposed to have him at the Pub by about 6:00 or so, and it was already 5:30. ‘Where is he?’ she was asking in the confines of her mind. As she was starting to feel a little panic in her gut, the hairdresser came over and handed her an envelope with her name on it. It was from John, of course: “He asked me to give this to you. I think it might answer some of your questions.”
Dear Marlena,
Tonight our courtship begins anew. I hope you enjoyed your special day of pampering. And I really hope you like the dress; I tried to pick something that flattered that incredible body of yours, my lady. You are more beautiful to me now than ever before and I am thrilled to have you back in my arms and to have a place in your heart once again. I love you, Doc. Meet me at the Penthouse Grill around 7:00 and I’ll show you how much.
Love,
John
“Oh, John…” She started to feel tears welling up in her eyes. He is being so wonderful to me with this courtship,” she said to the onlookers. Then to herself, ‘I love you too, John.’ Then she remembered again, but… there is a whole Pub full of people waiting for us right now. Oh my gosh what are we going to do now?’ He planned this incredibly romantic evening for us at the Grill and….I guess signals do get crossed sometimes. I’ll just call Caroline and tell her the guests of honor will be a little late, that’s all. They’ll understand, right?’ She told herself everything would be fine as she went to call them.
“What? He had a night of romance planned and bought her a dress, pampered her, everything.” Marlena heard Shawn calling out to the crowd that had gathered and heard laughter and a few teasing jabs from the men in the background about going over to the Grill to bug them and tease John about dancing while on crutches. She couldn’t help but laugh as she thought about Bo and Abe teasing John for the real story about how he hurt his knee, and him struggling to make sure Marlena didn’t tell them anything. She would make him give her a compliment about some recent pot of coffee or meal she had cooked him. It would kill him to do it, but with the proper motivation….
Finally she said, “Shawn, tell them I’ll get him over there as soon as I can, but I don’t want to spoil his plans either, okay? And tell the guys they will have me to deal with if they show up over at the Grill.”
She heard Shawn call that threat to them and their loud response, ” Woah, we better not mess with Marlena, sounds like she means it!! Tell her we’ll wait to tease him when she brings him over here.”
She was chuckling and said, “I heard that, Shawn, thank you and see you all after awhile. Please tell Caroline thank you again and I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” As she hung up the phone she hurriedly sent the three women home saying they had done a wonderful job and she hoped someday they might be back. They had been paid handsomely by John and all three said, “Any time!” quite enthusiastically.
The second they left she practically threw herself into the dress, put on the matching earrings and other jewelry, put a few items in the new purse, primped in front of the mirror for only a moment, brushed her teeth and was out the door. She was so excited; this was their first date since returning home to Salem. Their first night as a couple out in public should be special, and John was doing all he could to make it so. ‘Oh John you touch me so, I am so happy I gave you another chance. Every day you give me more reason to believe I made the right choice. Even when I had my doubts about getting past the pain, you did everything you could to prove your love and commitment were genuine and that you were truly sorry for the pain you caused. I love you and I can’t wait to show you how much,’ she thought as she read his note again on the trip over to the Grill. This would be a night to remember and her heart was filled with breathless anticipation.
John sat a table at the Penthouse Grill adjusting his tuxedo tie; he never could get those things exactly right and he did want to look his best for this special night. As his sense of frustration increased, he heard a low sultry laugh and then that voice that captivated him, “Do you want a little help with that?”
He turned around to a vision in black, so gorgeous he felt his breath leave him and his heart skipped two beats. He tried to pay her a compliment but found himself completely speechless for the moment. Finally he managed to utter a few words that made an attempt at it, “Marlena, you look….amazing in that dress. Then there was a long pause as he continued to admire her beauty. “I…missed you today, did you have fun?”
She smiled with joy as she leaned in to kiss him and said, “I’m so glad you like how I look and yes I had a wonderful day thanks to you and all your efforts to spoil me. Thank you for arranging all of that, this dress and this night. I love you John Black,” she said, her face all aglow with that emotion.
“Good, I’m glad you’re happy with it all because I love you and I wanted this day to be very special and tonight to be one to remember,” he said with a wink as he kissed her in return.
They sat at the table for several minutes just enjoying the feeling of looking at each other and being together romantically. It had been longer than either would like to admit since they had shared a romantic evening in which they felt free to love, and stare deeply into each other’s eyes. It was glorious and they wanted to memorize every detail of their time together. As he held her hand in his John asked, “Marlena, do you have any regrets about any of it, about giving me another chance?” His question caught her off guard totally and she searched his face for the reason he was asking, but couldn’t find one.
She said simply, “No, not any more I don’t, but John why are you asking me that now? Are you feeling insecure about something?”
“I don’t know.. I just have this strange feeling something or someone is going to take this happiness away from us again. I…can’t shake it.”
She understood his feelings, but she didn’t want to see him focus on all that now. “Well, the way I see it, we can sit here and worry about what else could happen to steal our happiness, or we can just enjoy this time and be thankful we’re together now. I know what I want to do, the question is what do you want to do, John?”
He realized she was right so he decided he should shake it off and do just what she said. Nodding his head, he agreed, “You’re right, Doc.. we should enjoy the fact that somehow we found our way back to each other and we shouldn’t second guess or wonder what comes next. I’m sorry I brought it up at all.” After a brief pause, he got right to it, “Would you like to dance with me, or should I say… stand in one place and sway back and forth with me?” he asked sweetly, his eyes twinkling in the soft light of early evening at the Grill.
She smiled at the question and said, “I thought you’d never ask my love. Standing in one place and swaying back and forth with you sounds wonderful to me, John. I’d love to, honey…” she told him as she sighed in anticipation of their dance.
He put one of the crutches down and took her hand in his and hopped on one foot with her a short distance from their table, then held her in a close embrace. She helped him steady himself and then they swayed as he had said. Neither one cared what song was playing or that they weren’t really dancing per se, because it just felt so good to be holding each other close this way out in the open. They had no shame now, no guilt about their love and it felt so freeing and joyful. “I love you so much, Marlena and I just want to make you happy from now on,” he whispered in her ear. She found herself become aroused by the simple feeling of his breath upon her skin.
“John, I love you too and it feels amazing to be here with you tonight like this. We are out in public as a couple; I can hardly believe it, can you?”
He sighed with total contentment, “You have no idea how many times I have imagined and dreamed of us together this way and prayed it would come true. I am so happy, Doc.”
It was so hard to contain her excitement even a little bit… It was what they’d been waiting so long to have happen and now it finally was. Finding it hard to believe, Marlena responded in kind, “Oh, me too. I have fantasized about us going out dancing, not quite like this, but being close this way, and I wished for so long to be with you again. I’m delirious!”
After dancing for awhile the couple decided they might like to get a bite to eat and so went over to the table and sat down to order a meal. John wanted to spoil her and suggested lobster and Marlena agreed. As they waited and even after it arrived they couldn’t keep from staring into each other’s eyes every few minutes as the evening progressed. It was a magical night and they wanted to burn every second into their memories. Their love continued to deepen each day they were together and now it was a love with security too. They truly had begun to move on from the pain, and even though there were still issues to be resolved and the custody battle for the baby, they knew their love would survive all that. There were other family matters too, such as how Sami would handle it and what to tell her in the near future, since she still thought Marlena was married to Roman. But they believed they could handle those as well and so were confident about the future.
After they had eaten and were finishing up a second glass of wine each Marlena thought she should tell John about the gathering at the Pub. “John, honey there is someplace else we need to go tonight. I…had planned to surprise you with it, but it’s too late for that now. The family and all our friends are over at the Pub as we speak, waiting for us to arrive. I told them I didn’t want to spoil your evening, but that I’d get you over there at a reasonable time.”
John smiled at her words as he was touched that she had tried to surprise him as well. “Well, it’s nice to know we were both trying to do something to please and surprise each other. I hate to cut this short, but I sure would like to share our renewal of love with everybody we love. Let’s go, Doc!”
“Good, I’m glad you feel that way. By the way, you really owe me one, Bo and Abe were there when I called the Pub and they were threatening to show up here and bug you about trying to dance on crutches, etc. but I threatened them so they chickened out.”
He made a broad grin and said, “Whew! I sure am glad I’m on your good side now, Doc. No, really thanks..they probably would have messed with me about how I hurt my leg and I don’t want to deal with their brand of teasing at the moment.”
As they made their way to the elevator they were indeed greeted by Abe and Bo. However, they weren’t smiling as if to tease. John and Marlena looked at each other feeling a sense of fear about what the two men came to say to them. John knew this was what he had sensed earlier in terms of something that would threaten their happiness. After an awkward silence Abe said sadly, “I have some bad news to tell you two, it’s about Roman.”
Marlena and John felt the rush of fearful adrenaline in their bodies and instinctively moved to hold each other. Marlena spoke, “What Abe, just tell us what you came to say.”
Abe hated to say the words, “We just learned from the ISA that he…he’s been killed, Marlena. He was working on a very dangerous case and apparently he was taken prisoner and…tortured to death. I’m so sorry to have to tell you like this, but I didn’t want you to hear it on the news.”
Both of them were in shock and the memories of how Roman had left town after their affair and their guilt feelings came rushing back full force in that instant. Marlena pulled away from John as if the contact with his skin had burned her. She saw the pain in his eyes, but it was not at all something she thought about. It was a gut reaction to the news. Then without saying a word, she started to cry and ran toward the stairs and away from him, leaving him standing there alone to deal with his guilt, and at the same time, asking himself what her reaction meant for them.
John stood there with a stunned expression and then felt himself about to fall over, steadying himself with the crutches. Abe and Bo wanted to say something, but neither could think of anything and it was John who broke the silence. “I’m so sorry…so sorry. He would never have been in that….position if I had.. been a better man.” He was filled with remorse again and as they didn’t say anything, John concluded they blamed him as well, so he decided he’d better leave. “I should go now, thanks for telling us in person,” he said sadly as he glanced back at the dance floor and wished…..’No, that was our last dance, I fear.’
The night had been one to remember, but it had not ended the way it had begun. Where there had been the promise of future happiness there was the fresh pain of loss and the guilt of having contributed to that loss. Where there had been forgiveness there was a sense of blame. Where there had been a close loving touch there was the memory of the pain that contact had caused others and the sensation of hands parting as if that touch were deadly in itself.
This news might be enough to put an end to the relationship forever, John didn’t know and that fear and uncertainty shook him to the core of his being. He didn’t know what to do, where to turn. Could he go now to the Brady’s? Would they pull away as Marlena just had, or did they want him there? He walked out in the parking lot of the Penthouse Grill still wondering and then he saw her crying and shivering in the cool night air as she leaned against the Jeep. He hurried to her and took off his coat, placing it over her bare shoulders, careful not to touch her. She was quiet for a long while and then she finally looked at him and spoke, “John, I…I’m not sure what just happened in there, but I want you to know… I do love you.”
John still felt the fear of losing her and the guilt, “Marlena, I’m so sorry about Roman. I…know this is such a shock for you. Whatever you want from me I’ll do..If you want me to move out…anything that will make it easier. You just tell me and I’ll do it, Doc. I love you so much.”
Marlena didn’t know what she wanted, other than for what she had just learned to be completely wrong. She wanted to see Roman’s smiling face and enjoy his teasing ways. His sweet grin, his soft voice telling her he forgave her for the affair years ago. She wanted him to be whole and healthy and there for Sami who needed him now more than ever and Carrie too. She wanted to hug him, and cry with him, and resolve all the pain that had passed between them, and to say a goodbye to him. He wasn’t supposed to die all alone in pain as he must have done. Overwhelmed by guilt, Marlena nodded and wept openly, but said nothing.
As much as she knew John was hurting now, she couldn’t look at him and not feel the guilt of what they had done to Roman. They had driven him away with their betrayal, and his painful death brought all that guilt back and it was as if it had never left her. She closed her eyes as if to shut out the agony of loss she felt. ‘Oh Roman, I am so sorry for what happened between us.’ Finally she said something else, “John, I think I need to go to the Pub and be with Shawn, Caroline and the others and I…don’t think you should come with me.”
Even as she said it she could feel his heart shatter and she heard the quiet cry he made as he nodded and whispered a reply, “Okay, Doc… I’ll take you there and then leave, if that’s what you think is best.” He had begun to cry silent tears that glistened in the moonlight and she wanted to wipe them away, to give him some reassurance that they would survive even this pain and still be a couple, but she couldn’t, not with this grief so fresh.
John assisted her in getting into the Jeep and then went around to do the same; he drove in total silence to the Pub. Upon arrival, he opened her door for her and still they had said nothing else. She looked at him and wished she could think of something to say other than, “Goodbye, John.”
He couldn’t say that to her and so John simply nodded and then closed the door after she left. Then he leaned against the dash board and was swept up in the fear, loss, and guilt. “Oh Doc!…..Roman, I’m so sorry!”
John Black sat in his Jeep debating about whether indeed to leave the waterfront and the Brady’s or stay and try to support Marlena in spite of what she had said, that he should not be there. He knew it was because looking at him reminded her of the guilt for their affair of four years ago now. He still carried it as well, but at her urging he had just begun to actually let go, and tonight he thought they had turned a corner and were moving ahead with their romantic love. He shut his eyes tight and wished to shut out the memory of the moment Abe had told them Roman had died a tortured death. He would never forget the look on Marlena’s face and the desolate feeling of her pulling away from him. It was as if he had literally burned her. Maybe that was it…the end…for all of us, Roman died and with him their love… our love too; all of it because of a twisted monster’s evil schemes. “Oh God, please make him pay for his sick crimes against us all and please let Roman rest in peace and freedom from pain,” John cried out to the heavens.
John had absently gotten out of the Jeep and went down onto the Pier of memories and reunions. He sat down on the bench and stared out at the water, losing himself in the past, his past and Romans’ and somewhere along the way, they merged into one. And he cried for Roman’s pain, for his own pain, and most of all for Marlena’s pain. She had suffered more than any of them, he thought, for she was torn between two men, wanting them both to be happy and utterly without the power to make it happen. That had left her with so many tears that neither man could wipe away or save her from. ‘John…..If you had really loved her selflessly you would have let her go, Dammit!! Instead you pushed her, you pursued her until she couldn’t stop herself and she gave herself to you. The price you made her pay…Oh Doc! Roman.. I’m so sorry, and I hope that somehow, you can forgive us now, if not me… then at least her. She doesn’t deserve to feel this guilt any more.’ Tilting his head toward the heavens, John prayed for divine intervention, “Please, Lord, free her from the guilt, free her from me, if that is your will.” As he prayed, he wept for Marlena and Roman and for the family that was once his own, and yet never really was at all.
Back inside the Pub, the Brady clan gathered to share their pain and loss as one of their precious ones had died while away from home. There was the agony of not having been able to say goodbye to him, and the grief of the children, who for all intents and purposes had lost their father the day he left their mother because of the affair. This was such difficult time for them all.
As Marlena entered the scene, she glanced around and felt strangely like she was the one who had brought it all about by hurting him so. Yet the small voice in her head told her he had left when she wanted to make it work, when she would have done anything to try and earn his trust again. Maybe he had known she would always have a divided heart and just couldn’t live with that knowledge. Her heart told her she was the one responsible and the head and heart always battled within her. So many times the head had won out. After all, that was her training as a psychiatrist. Be objective, see the truth. But, when it came to John, she had followed her heart, and look where that choice led them all, down a painful path to this agony of loss for a whole family.
Marlena had told John not to come with her, not for the sake of the others, because she believed they no longer blamed her or John for what happened in the past. They were well past it in fact. In reality, she had said it for herself because looking at him with a love for her that permeated his whole being brought back the guilt that threatened to choke the life out of her. Marlena couldn’t bear the guilt or the pain in John’s eyes, not now. She had wounded him by pulling away like she did; she knew that, but there was no time or tears enough for him tonight. She felt she needed to give at least this one night to Roman, he deserved that much. And yet….was that fair? She had committed to John and told him to let go of the guilt because she loved him so much and wanted their future to be together. Forgiveness, that had been the heart of their discussions of late, and they had gotten past so much of the pain from the last few years. Now this loss threatened to tear them apart again. ‘Roman, is that what you wanted or did you find a way to forgive us?’
As she stood lost in thoughts of Roman and John and the suffering they all endured, someone approached her and touched her on the arm. It was Caroline, who asked kindly, “Marlena, honey…where is John? I thought you were together tonight when Abe and Bo came to tell you…..the news.” Her voice broke and she stopped speaking.
She reluctantly answered, crying as she did so, “I…told him… not to come here with me, Caroline. I wasn’t sure if…..”
She let out a long sigh, feeling horrible for the couple that they would feel so guilty as to separate because of what was happening. “Marlena, we have all forgiven you both for the affair long ago. We understand what happened then and we can see how much you still love each other. Honey, John should be here with us. He’s….part of this family too.”
Kim came up and said the same, ” As much as it hurts to lose Roman and be reminded of what Stefano did to all of us, we need to stick together as a family and that includes John.”
She cried again and pulled Kim into a tight hug saying, “Oh Kim! I’m so sorry…I miss him and I just wish….I wish we could have resolved the pain..”
All Kim said was, “I know, and I have to believe that somehow he did forgive you, both you and John before he died. That’s the kind of man my brother is…was. Oh Marlena I’m going to miss him too!”
Caroline hugged both of the other two women and they wept together mourning the loss of a hero, son, brother, and love. Then finally Caroline said, “Marlena, why don’t you go find John and bring him here too? He needs us all as much as we need him. I’d be willing to bet he’s around here on the waterfront somewhere alone, feeling guilty and sad just like you.”
She looked up and saw both Kim and Caroline nodding at her and she decided they were right, John should be here with everyone else. He had been through as much pain as any of them, because of the horrible schemes of Stefano and he was hurting too. He needed to grieve with the family. “Thank you both for helping me see the truth. John needs us and we need him to get through this loss. I’ll go find him. I have a good idea of where he is right now.”
They gave her another hug as she turned to go. She admitted now that she did need him to hold her, to just be there when she cried and to listen when she wanted to talk. He would do all that and more; when she was suffering he had always dropped everything to be there for her and he would do the same now. She could trust that completely; theirs was a true and deep friendship based on rock-solid trust and availability.
After a long period of solitude, John sensed a familiar presence nearby, and his heart felt a warmth he thought he might not feel again. He looked up and was rewarded with the sight of her, still suffering and yet open somehow to his comfort. “Doc?” he asked daring to hope she wanted something that he could give her, the comfort of his arms around her. Maybe...
She didn’t say anything and he looked back out at the water as he stood on the crutches and waited…
Slowly, gradually, she approached him in the quiet of night and then whispered through her tears the question he longed to hear, “John, could you please hold me?”
He nodded and wrapped himself gently around her weeping form and silently held her for the longest time. She needed him to get through this pain and he needed her too. “I’m so sorry, Marlena.” There was a strange sense that it was okay for them to want that comfort from each other, as if maybe he approved of it in this moment. Roman was at peace now it seemed and they both felt a little of the guilt lift from their shoulders.
‘Goodbye Roman, we loved you and we will miss you.’ They said it silently in their hearts as they stared out at the water with the moonlight making shimmering highlights. Then they turned to go back toward the Pub where the Brady’s, Horton’s and Carver’s gathered to mourn the loss of one of Salem’s finest citizens. John and Marlena would stay together even through this soul searching, gut wrenching loss, and learn to say goodbye to Roman and to forgive themselves in the process. If he could have come back for a short visit he would have told them he forgave them and wanted them to be happy now because he was with his Lord and had no pain, no bitterness, no jealousy. That was but a distant memory for him now. There was only peace where he lived in paradise.
It seemed that Sami Brady had been through many transformations in her short life. She had gone from a sweet innocent child, to a mischievous teenager, to a malicious selfish schemer and now, apparently to everyone else, back to a more innocent version of herself. However, the shock of finding out about her father’s death might just have been enough to bring back all the painful memories that began her descent into manipulation and plotting to take what didn’t belong to her. Namely, Austin Reed. In addition she had been on a mission to hurt two people whose only real crime was that they shared a very deep and abiding love that had overwhelmed them and led them to a disastrous affair for which they had suffered much pain and guilt. Now, at a time when they had reunited after much more pain and separation, it seemed as though Sami could be there to twist the knife yet again.
The memories started to filter in slowly over a period of weeks, and then all of a sudden when she learned of her father’s painful death, they came back full force. It happened at the same time as she was wondering why her father had been so far away from home when he died. She remembered seeing John and Marlena having sex in a Titan Board room the night of an important party. Seeing them together had sent her into a tailspin, and she was so angry and hurt and had allowed those feelings to turn into bitterness which only grew with time. She vowed she would never forgive them. That evil had begun to control her to the point she had changed lab results and later tried to sell the child that resulted from the affair. Sami had also begun her scheming ways to hurt Carrie and take Austin from her. The only thing that stopped her was the accident in which Austin hit her, and even then… she was keeping them apart. Sami didn’t care who she hurt, as long as she got what she wanted.
As her recollections became more clear, Sami looked over at John and Marlena with contempt. ‘The nerve of them! My father has just died and they’re hanging all over each other. They disgust me and I’m going to tell them exactly what I think about them being together. I hate them for what they did to Daddy, they are to blame for him leaving and for his death and I’m going to tell them so right now!
Carrie was standing near Sami, contemplating whether this emotional trauma would cause the memories to come back, and she thought she saw something in her sister’s eyes that looked suspiciously like the old Sami. The elder sister watched closely and was certain she read the look of contempt accurately, as her sister glanced over repeatedly at John and Marlena. ‘If she tries to make them feel bad again….No, not this time, not any more. That was four years ago my little sis, and they have suffered enough. No more!’ She watched as the look of pure hatred passed over Sami’s face and she followed her over to see John and Marlena, ready to step in if necessary. She had been aching to give her sister a piece of her mind for so long now, and this might be her chance to do so, while helping the two people she loved more deeply than if they were her real parents, at the same time.
Sami walked quietly and deliberately over to where John stood holding Marlena in his arms for comfort in the loss of someone she had loved deeply in the past. Carrie didn’t quite make it in time to stop her from telling them exactly how she felt, “I remember it all now, and you two make me sick!” said Sami with such anger and quite loud enough for the whole room to hear. “You killed my father as much as if you tortured him yourselves. You slept together and betrayed him, and he left because of that pain. I HATE YOU !! You killed my father!!” There was such vehemence in her voice and it pierced their hearts so much that they were left completely speechless. Marlena burst into a fresh round of tears about what she had done and for the pain her daughter’s words had brought. John moved instinctively to shield her and turned them both away from Sami’s vehement anger. The agony Marlena demonstrated and the wounded expression John wore were enough to bring tears to most anyone’s eyes. Neither had the strength to reply as they had already been suffering under the weight of a renewed sense of guilt; they hung their heads in unison.
Carrie waited just a moment as she decided exactly what she was going to say to the girl she had once treasured as a confidante. “Sami that is enough and now that you have said your piece you are going to get an earful. You are nothing but a selfish, manipulative, little Bitch and you have caused more pain to the people in this room than anyone with all of your lies and schemes. So, don’t you DARE say another word like that to two people you don’t even deserve to share the same room with!! John and Marlena made one mistake four years ago because they loved and still do love each other very deeply and they have suffered more than enough pain for the affair.” Waving her hands around the Pub to indicate the entire gathering of friends and family, she continued to rail at her sister, “We have all forgiven them a long time ago. I loved him but the truth is.. our…father took the coward’s way out when he chose to leave us all while they stayed and faced the consequences of their actions with strength and courage. They loved you through all of your lies and schemes, and all you did was reject them over and over again! Now they have a chance to share a wonderful, very powerful, selfless love that you can’t even begin to understand, Sami, because you allowed yourself to give in to the dark side. Now if you can’t handle that, get out of here because you are not wanted here, not any more!!”
Sami was utterly flabbergasted at the strength and conviction in her sister’s voice and somehow it jolted her into reality. Everything Carrie had said was true completely. Sami had no argument for her and it surprised her. She *was* all those things Carrie said and it was wrong to blame John and Marlena for all of her poor choices, her father’s as well. They had done all they could to accept the responsibility for what they had done and they had tried to be there for her and asked her for forgiveness, but she had rejected them horribly and made very cruel vindictive remarks to them so many times. Not sure what to do next, she thought of her father and her heart was unexpectedly filled with remorse. She made the decision to repent of it and try to start fresh. Sami had to admit to herself that it was probably what her father would have wanted for all of them. Therefore, she decided in the heat of the moment that she would honor his memory and apologize for her actions, then ask for their forgiveness.
John and Marlena were shocked by Carrie’s words as well, but it appeared to help a little. They didn’t seem quite so wounded, yet it was clear that it stung to have Sami speak with such condemnation at such a difficult time. Sami approached them and they were hesitant, bracing themselves as if to face another barage for which they felt they could make no defense. Instead, she sat down on a chair near them and said, “John, Mom… Carrie is right. I am all those things she said and she was right about you two. You have never gotten angry at me, yelled at me, or rejected me no matter what I’ve done, and when I’ve needed you, both of you were there for me. When Will was missing you were there loving me, supporting me all the way through. And here I am when you are both hurting so badly, I lay into you again like a thousand times before. The truth is… all you ever did was love each other and the things I’ve done, there aren’t even words to describe the pain I’ve caused you and everybody in this room. So, anyway.. I know I don’t deserve it, but could you please find it in your hearts to forgive me. I promise I’ll try to change my ways, for you, for Daddy and for myself.”
John and Marlena looked at each other as if not believing what was happening. Again, neither knew what to say. Finally, Marlena answered, “Yes sweety girl we can forgive you, if you can forgive us for hurting Roman the way we did.” She was crying still, now at the thought of actually reconciling the rift that existed for so long now.
Sami burst into tears and said, “Mommy… I am so sorry for hurting you, for all the horrible things I said to you. And John, you raised me with love and understanding and I was so cruel to you. I love you, please forgive me Daddy! I am so sorry I hurt you!!”
John was tearing up too, for he had wanted to hear these words for so long and never thought it would happen. He loved Sami so much and she had wounded him repeatedly, striking out at him with her bitterness. Now they had a chance to restore the relationship… “Oh Sami, I love you so much, I never stopped… Yes I forgive you and I’m sorry for the pain I caused you too.”
At that moment Marlena, John, Sami and Carrie instinctively pulled themselves into a group hug and wept together for all the pain they had suffered separately and collectively over the past several years. They also cried for the grief they all felt about the loss of Roman Brady, a man who was important to them all, for so many different reasons. Caroline, Shawn, Kim, Bo and Austin came over to join in the hug as well, after the others shared a few private moments. This time of profound loss was also the beginning of healing in a family where there had been such anger, bitterness, sadness, and guilt. They needed to be together to grieve the loss of Roman, and it was as if his death were the catalyst for the other wounds to be healed and issues resolved, the love and trust between them beginning to return.
Amazing how the worst of times could sometimes be the beginning of the best of times. John and Marlena felt that was to be the case this time, even though the pain was still with them, they could feel the love growing stronger. For the first time in years the had hope for the future. Hope for themselves, and for the rest of the family as well. Roman had left a legacy and it was to be the spark for positive changes in the relationships of those he loved most in the world. It was as if he were smiling down upon them now while they hugged and kissed, and forgave one another. Not a bad mark to leave, if he did say so himself.
Eric Brady was on a plane bound for Salem, and he was not at all sure it was the right thing to do. He had just lost his father, but because of school obligations was not able to make it to the funeral, and if he were honest about it, he had been feeling strangely thankful. He didn’t want to face all the questions about why he had stayed away so long from his home town. He stayed in Colorado rather than than return. They would all want to know why he stayed away from his family at a time when all he could think of was how much time had been stolen from him by fate, by John Black, and especially by Stefano Dimera. How he hated all three of those hindrances to his closeness with his biological father. In his head, he realized that Stefano was the true villan, but John had acted wrongly, and it was the affair that was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back and ruined his parent’s marriage. They had divorced and his father went off working on dangerous assignments for the ISA to bury the pain the loss of his love had brought.
Because of all that, Eric had not seen his father in all that time, and all he could think of when he missed his Dad was what Sami had told him, how she had seen John having sex with their mother in a Titan Board room of all places. John and Marlena were betraying a friend and husband, while a ballroom full of people upstairs was honoring Carrie in “The Face of the Nineties” contest. That had hurt and angered him intensely…because Eric once loved John and respected him as an good, moral, and honorable man, though he could never tell John that, not after the way John’s role in his life had ended so abruptly. It was something that had long gone unspoken but when John betrayed Eric’s father and his own friend, hurting Eric’s mother in the process, that respect was obliterated. Eric had great difficulty understanding how John could have done that no matter how much he thought he loved and needed Marlena at the time. Eric believed John should have let her go, if he truly loved her like he said he did. Eric concluded that it was high time he confronted John about it; actually he should have done it years ago when the affair was exposed and Roman and Marlena’s marriage was laid waste. But it was much too painful and Eric was too young to handle such an intense confrontation. Now, several years later, he had been through several relationships and breakups, and he had a somewhat better understanding of what it felt like to lose at love. He was truly beginning to understand his father’s pain.
If he were honest, having been on the short end a few times, Eric should have been able to relate to John’s side of the equation as well. Unfortunately, he still had trouble understanding John’s perspective because of his bias against the man. He had been so young when he learned John was not his real father. It was such a confusing time and over the years, Eric and Sami had learned to block some of those memories out because they were too painful, the separation so abrupt and complete. As he looked back on that time now, Eric did remember the pain in John’s eyes when he and his sister rejected the man repeatedly during a horrible period in his life. It was a time when he desperately needed to know the Brady family still loved him and wanted him in their lives despite the fact that there were no biological ties between them. The twins had said he lied to them and that he never really loved them, and the worst was when they said they hated him. He recalled how John’s face bore the most wounded expression Eric had ever seen, and even though he was a little boy at the time, he knew the twins’ rejection hurt John very deeply. He and his sister were both angry and hurt that John walked out and left them with a man who was virtually a stranger to them. He thought John didn’t love he and Sami any more. Somehow no amount of explaining helped them understand what was happening, and so they had lashed out at John, who was already so hurt and bereft. As they denied him his heartfelt request to share a special time and left him one day during that first Christmas, they both knew they had made him cry. When they got home, they cried too.
As he thought back, Eric began to realize that the pain he felt in losing John was the same pain John felt in losing his name, his children, his job and his home. Even though he had mourned her loss once before, John had lost Marlena too. That pain had to be excruciating and even though he had Isabella in his life, Eric realized it still must have hurt a lot to let her go. And yet the affair was two years later after…..after Isabella died, which was so soon after their baby was born. John was alone and he naturally turned to Marlena in the midst of his pain and loneliness. Then they had been trapped together in the warehouse… As he prepared for his trip to Salem, Eric began to make sense of how the affair developed and it didn’t seem quite so horrible, but still…. they could have controlled their feelings..for Dad. They should have stopped for his sake. Oh John, I’m so confused about this, and I know it’s time we talked about it. And you too, Mom..I need to talk to you too.’
Sami had asked Lucas to take her to the airport to pick up her twin brother, who was finally coming home for a visit. She wished he could have come for their daddy’s funeral, but she understood why he hadn’t been there. He had told her some of his feelings, and she shared how angry and hurt she had been, but said that she had finally forgiven her mother and John because of Carries’ strong words. She had also given the annulment to Austin and the other two were finally planning a wedding that should have happened a long time ago. Sami was just beginning to turn her life around and she and Lucas had a warm friendship that seemed to be growing into more; they were enjoying the relationship very much. She was actually feeling genuine happiness for the first time in years. She wanted that for Eric, and vowed to do all she could to help him get past his anger and hurt feelings toward John and Marlena.
After a heartwarming reunion at the Brady Pub with Shawn, Caroline, Bo, and others, Eric decided it was time to see John and Marlena at the Penthouse where they had settled temporarily until things calmed down for them. He was nervous as he had called to tell them but spoke only briefly on the phone. He had no idea what he was going to say to them, if he could forgive them or if he would blast them. It was a tossup as to which attitude would be there when he saw them. He knew they were officially a couple again, having dated for several weeks now. John had broken it off with Kristen and began pursuing Marlena once again. Pursuing…there’s that word again. John had relentlessly pursued his mother until she slept with him twice and subsequently pressured her to leave Roman. He knew that was true from talking to Sami. No…there would be no forgiveness, not this night! That was his last thought as he approached the door of the Penthouse.
Inside, John had his shirt off and was wearing silk boxers and lying on the couch. Marlena was trying to massage the kinks out, as he had put in some volunteer hours helping Habitat for Humanity building some low income houses. It had been a long time since John had done much physical labor and he was tuckered out completely. As she worked magic on his muscles he began to have two responses, becoming aroused and then alternately starting to fall off to sleep. He wanted to share himself with her, but he was exhausted and sore and began to drift off in spite of his best efforts. As the door bell chimed, Marlena went to open it and was greeted by the disapproving glare of her son shortly after he entered and saw John’s still form lying on the couch, with not much covering him.
“Still hot for each other I can see!” He said it with venom and even he was shocked by his comment and retreated instantly. “I’m very sorry about that, I don’t know where that came from, I’m sorry, really.”
There was a long awkward silence as they both looked over at John who had fallen deeply asleep and didn’t stir at all. He was simply bushed and Marlena smiled at him and said to Eric, “He’s been working for Habitat for Humanity this week and he thought he’d go out there and build all these houses and not feel a thing. Look at him, he’s so exhausted by the time he comes home he can’t stay awake for the evening news half the time.”
Eric had to laugh as he remembered, “You know, he always overestimated his strength and endurance. He was always so enthusiastic and he’d just put all of himself into a project and wear himself out. He could never understand why he was so exhausted by it all. Sometimes I’d swear he thought he was Superman or something.”
“It’s just because he believes in things so strongly. Like this Habitat thing. He met these people who were..not very well off and their house burned down after their insurance had lapsed. He wanted to just give them a house and they wouldn’t accept it. He felt horrible about it so he contacted the Habitat people and he coordinated the efforts to build them a new one. They are helping to build it and John gets to give them the house after all, but on terms they can accept.”
He looked down at the man he had called Daddy for many years and remembered some similar episodes. “Yes, that’s my Dad, his heart was always in the right place, wasn’t it? Oh, Mom I loved him so much..and I hurt him, you know that? I never told you this, but Sami and I.. we really hurt him after…Dad came back. We were so confused and angry that he left us with you and a man we hardly knew. We told him we hated him that Christmas when we went on the outing with him and Isabella. We accused him of lying and said he never loved us at all and then we said we hated him. He was so…hurt. He tried to hide it, but he was so sad Mom. I’ll never forget the wounded expression on his face when we turned away and wouldn’t let him kiss or hug us.” There were tears forming in Eric’s eyes as he said, “I never apologized for that in all these years. I actually came here to give you hell for what you did to my father, but I started to realize the truth while I was on the plane, and then I talked to Sami. I hurt him, and you too by staying away. We’ve all made mistakes. I’m sorry Mom. I love you so much and I love him too, in spite of everything that’s happened and I want to tell him I’m sorry for hurting him so much back then.” Eric had started to cry and his mother wrapped her arms around him in a gesture of comfort, then she began to cry as well, knowing that healing might actually begin again this night.
“Oh Eric we love you too honey and we are sorry for what happened to this family. And if you talk to John about how you hurt him he will forgive you. Maybe if we all forgive each other we can be a family again. Would you like that?”
“Yes..I miss Dad and he’ll always be important to me. I’m sorry he chose to go away and not have contact with us all. I blamed you and John for that and even just a few minutes ago I was going to lay into you, but hearing you talk about him and what he was doing for those people he hardly knew reminded me of what a good person he really is. I guess the truth is his only real crime is loving you very deeply, so much that he just couldn’t let go of you.”
“Eric..we know that what we did then was wrong and believe me we have suffered for it, but we don’t regret the love we shared then or now. We do love each other very much and we will be together forever. We are going to plan a wedding some day when we have worked through our grief and loss. We both loved him Eric, we did and we never meant to hurt him.”
“I know, Mom. I know you didn’t.” They hugged some more and then heard John stirring on the couch. He was dreaming about something and seemed upset.
“No…please don’t take them away..I love them they’re my children too. Please don’t make me give it all away. It’s my life, my family too, please…no!” He was remembering the time when he had to give up his whole existence. Roman’s death had renewed some of those feelings and he had begun dreaming about it all again, though he hadn’t said anything to anyone. He didn’t want anyone feeling bad for him, everyone else was hurting too much, so he had kept it to himself.
The young man was still feeling bad about what he had shared earlier and hearing him call out like this brought those memories back. He wanted to talk to John about it tonight so he went to John to gently wake him. “John…it’s okay you’re dreaming. Everything’s okay…wake up.”
“Sami… Eric…they hate me now..They think I abandoned them. Oh no..I love you…please don’t hate me.. Don’t turn away..it’s not my fault, I had to give you up.”
“John.. wake up, it’s okay. You’re just dreaming.” He shook the man who had been his father for several crucial years of his life and finally John began to awaken.
John’s eyes flickered and surprise registered in his face and then the sadness from the memories showed there too. “Eric.” That was all he said as he thought back to that same day from the dream. He also believed that the young man still blamed him for the affair, so he waited to be lambasted for his mistake.
But that did not happen. Instead Eric seemed sad and began to speak softly, John..there are some things that I have needed to say for a long time. You can guess I blamed you for the affair and my parents divorce, and when I got on the plane I had planned to tell you so. But, I’ve had time to think and I talked to Sami. Then when I saw you there and Mom told me what you were doing with Habitat, I was reminded of all the good qualities and how much I loved you. And I also realized that I have made my fair share of mistakes too.”
Struggling to awaken fully and sit up on the couch, John yawned softly and then replies, “Eric, you know I never meant to hurt Roman. I just loved your mother so much and I couldn’t let go of that love any more than I could let go of my love for you, Sami and Carrie.”
“Yes, I know that. And there is more I need to say to you. It was hard to do but so important, and he knew that if it didn’t happen now, it might not at all. “Do you remember that day we went out together, you me, Sami and Isabella that first Christmas after you found out you weren’t really our father?”
John wore an old wounded expression so close to the one that day it brought tears to Eric’s eyes and Marlena’s too and then he nodded and said very softly, “Yes, I…I’ll never forget that day.”
“Well I haven’t forgotten it either and I..John… I know we hurt you very deeply that day. We said some cruel things to you and you tried to hide how much it hurt, but we knew John. We were confused and angry and sad and we took it out on you. We may have been little, but it wasn’t right and I’m so….sorry.” He started to feel the moisture collecting behind his eyes, and it was almost as if he were that little boy again and wanted his father to love and hold him. “I love you and I’m so sorry for hurting you, Daddy, can you please forgive me?”
John felt the moisture of tears forming in his own eyes and could hardly speak; he whispered his answer as he pulled the young man into a tight hug, “Oh…Eric I have wanted to hear you say that for so long…I love you son..I never stopped loving you in all these years.” He kept talking through tear-filled eyes, “I can’t lie to you, it hurt me so much when you guys rejected me. All I ever did was love you, and giving you and your Mom up was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.” He paused to compose himself, “Yes, I can forgive you. Can you forgive me?”
“Yes Dad. I love you and I want us to start over again. You, me Sami, Carrie and Mom and Belle and Brady too. I want us to be close again, like a family should be. If we’re going to learn anything from Dad’s death it’s that life is too short to waste time on anger and bitterness.”
Marlena had been silent, knowing this exchange was very important for the two main men in her life. Then she said, “Eric we both love you and we would very much like to make a fresh start. The three of them hugged each other for a long while, comfortable with the silence, content to know that closed off hearts were slowly opening up again.
It had been one month to the day since they learned of Roman’s death and everyone was still dealing with the aftereffects of the loss. Marlena sat reading the letter he had to written to her and looking at a photo album of the time when she was happily married to Roman. She had some tears left and she couldn’t believe it as she thought she would have used them up by now. John came down the stairs and watched her from afar for a few moments and sighed. She had been through so much pain in her life and of all the people he knew she was the last one to be bitter or full of self-pity. She kept on going with such strength and dignity, always looking at the needs of others first. He wanted more than anything to put a smile on her face and keep it there, but no matter how hard he tried things kept happening that made her sad and she cried. He hated to see her cry, though ‘God knows she’s the only woman in the world who actually looks beautiful even when she’s sobbing. God, please help me make her happy today,’ he prayed.
John walked up behind her and placed his arms gently around her and she looked up and quickly closed the photo album as if concerned how he would feel about it. “Doc, it’s okay if you want to look back at those times. I understand how you must be feeling. I musta stared at Izzy B’s picture a thousand times after she died. Don’t worry about my feelings okay?”
She smiled warmly and said, “Did I tell you yet how wonderful you’ve been through all of this, never once saying or doing anything to make me feel as though I can’t talk about how l loved him or my feelings about losing him. And I know that can’t be easy for you John.”
“Doc, I know how much you loved him, after all I was him and you loved me that way before…and then later I knew you loved me for myself. So how could I ever try to stop you from expressing those feelings. Marlena, he is a part of you and he always will be.” He walked over toward the balcony and then seemed very thoughtful, “The strange thing is that he is a part of me as well. There is a place that I locked away in my mind for a long time because it hurt so much to think about it, but a part of who I am in my heart and mind will be Roman Brady for the rest of my life. That identity, that life was so important to me and going to his funeral was so…weird because it was almost like saying goodbye to myself.” He turned around to face her and asked, “I wasn’t really sure how to feel, does that sound crazy to you?”
“No, it doesn’t John. I had been wondering about all that, but we haven’t had a lot of time to talk like this since he died. We’ve been so busy taking care of arrangements, making sure the kids were okay, handling the legal matters and of course I’ve been crying my eyes out a lot. And you…you’ve just been there by my side holding me, listening, taking care of me every day. I love you so much.”
“And I love you so much, and you know what. I’ve just decided that you my friend are the only woman in the entire universe that actually looks truly beautiful even when you’re crying.” He paused and noticed she had blushed a little at that, “But today, I want to make you smile and so we are going to do something wild and crazy okay? Do you trust me?” he asked in a mysterious and mischievous way as he raised his eyebrows at her.
“Usually….but now…I don’t know, you have that look in your eyes. What are you up to John Black?”
“I’ll never tell, unless…..” He kissed her slightly seductively and waited to see her response. She pulled back and stared into his eyes to search for a clue and found none.
“John, are you saying that you’ll give up your secrets if I take advantage of you?”
“Yep, take away, baby!” As he said it he spread his arms open wide and then took her in a warm embrace and let her kiss him in return.
She decided to tease him a little and she kissed him in a very seductive manner running her tongue around the edges of his lips, not allowing him to fully capture her mouth when he tried and then pulled away slightly, leaving him wanting more. He was already starting to breath hard when she said, “Nah…I wouldn’t want to spoil your surprise, he he!!” Her giggle was so infectious and he couldn’t help but be affected.
“Oh….Marlena, are you sure you don’t want to persuade me to tell you, please!” He was still feeling the effects of her kiss and she could see it.
“Nope, I like surprises,” she said as she went to the closet as if to get her jacket feeling pleased she had put the shoe on the other foot. “Gotcha!” she said as she turned toward him again and waltzed into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee.
John groaned and said, “How do you always manage to do that to me? I was trying to tease you and….yep you got me!” Then he joined her for coffee as she smiled that brilliant smile and he was pleased that his plan had been successful so far. Now if he could only think of something to do for the surprise he’d promised.
They sat for awhile in silence, each contemplative, as this was an anniversary of sorts. One month ago they had a wonderful night of romance that had ended with the knowledge that Roman was dead. That night was a bittersweet memory for them both. Marlena broke the silence, “John, how are you doing with that concept you mentioned before, how do you feel about Roman’s death and how it affects the way you think of yourself?”
“Well, I’m still sad for him..that he wasn’t happy, that he didn’t get to resolve things with you..and I…miss the friendship we had forged. As for me…I’m not sure because it’s like I said, there is a part of me that still feels like I am Roman and that your children and the Brady’s are my family. There are so many memories that belong to him..and yet they’re mine too. It’s all so confusing sometimes, Doc. I have never really resolved what those years mean and how they fit in with John Black’s life. I still don’t have all the pieces.”
Marlena had wanted to help him with it ever since he had learned he wasn’t Roman, but so many things had happened to keep him from investigating his past. “I’ve been thinking about that and I think it’s time we try to find them John. What do you say we start working on finding out those answers for you and maybe you can put the whole puzzle together, including your time as Roman.”
He smiled at her and said, “Doc, do you mean that? You want to help me with it again? You know we really did make a great team when we worked together on something like that. But..are you sure you’re ready for this so soon after Roman’s death?”
She remembered that too and said, “Yes we did make a good team, and yes I think it’s time we moved forward together and finding out about your past will help us do that, John. I’m still going to grieve the loss of Roman and like you said, he will live on in us both. I think he would want you to be able to put your life into perspective.”
He nodded and smiled and then said, “So, partner where do we start?”
“Well, I think we should start with the first memory you had when you began to get some of your own memories back and go from there. Does that sound reasonable?”
“Yep..it does. I also think we should write down as many facts as we can with names and dates attached and figure out where the gaps are. Then we can go back and try to fill in the blanks.” He started to laugh as he visualized his life as a game. In an announcer type voice he said, “The new game from Milton Bradley…Fill in the gaps of your life.”
In spite of the tension she felt from him she had to laugh too, “Well, at least you have a sense of humor about it all, John. That’s a good sign. I have to say you’ll need one to complete this mission and then she did it too, feeling silly even as she said it. “Your mission Mr. Black should you choose to accept it is to fill the gaps in your memory and put your life in perspective. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds..shhhhh shshh.” She made the sound effects of the tape burning.
Then John joined her as he did the sound track, “Dun dun dun dun dun dun…..” The two of them were laughing hysterically by the time they finished the Mission Impossible Theme song. “Marlena I think we’ve had just a few too many late nights watching spy movies and eating popcorn lately,” he concluded with the boyish grin she adored.
She hugged him and agreed, “Yep, I do believe you’re right. So are you going to accept the mission John?”
He had to laugh and then answered, taking her in his arms again, “Yes, on one condition. That my lovely assistant Dr. Marlena Evans can accompany me wherever my mission takes me, is that a deal?”
She shook his hand and said, “You’ve got it Mr. Black, she’s yours forever and a day.” Then she kissed him very passionately and asked, “Now what about that surprise…”
‘Oh Oh….I better think of something really good…”Uh..I..need a little more time and I’ll let you know okay?” He flashed that sweet playful smile and kissed her as he skipped toward the door and then called back, “I have to go out for awhile and I’ll call you when everything is set.”
She sensed he didn’t have a clue what to do and she didn’t want to give herself away because she knew he had done the whole teasing little interplay just to make her smile. “All right, but it better be good, baby. I’ll miss you while you’re gone!”
“Me too, Doc! I love you and I’ll see you soon!” he called over his shoulder, thinking how very blessed he was to have her back. ‘It will, baby… prepare for the time of your life!’ he was saying as his mind began to plan a day of gifts and surprises for the love of his life. It was a day to celebrate that love in some very special ways and he couldn’t wait to get started.
It had been three hours and Marlena hadn’t heard from John, but all was well at the Penthouse. The security person John had hired since Brady was taken by Kristen was still outside at his post and the kids were playing quietly in the bedroom upstairs. She was pacing, feeling somewhat concerned, with everything that had happened in the past year she couldn’t help but worry whether something might have happened to him. Therefore, Marlena made a call, “Abe, hi it’s me, have you heard from John this morning? He left here a few hours ago and I haven’t heard anything. I’m starting to get a little worried.”
Abe smiled as he remembered the look on John’s face and the happiness in his voice when he had stopped in earlier to let Abe know about the talk he had with Marlena and the surprise he had planned for her. “He was here Marlena and don’t worry about him, I’d say he is about as fine as he could be today.”
“Do you know something about what he’s got planned Abe?” she asked, hoping for a little hint.
“Yes I do Marlena and if I told you, I would be in big trouble with my best friend, so don’t even ask about it. All I can say is I think you will be pleased with it.”
After hanging up, she felt a lot more at ease, but now she was very curious about John’s surprise. She knew that when he left he had no idea what he was going to do. He had made the whole thing up just to help her snap out of the sadness that had descended upon her. ‘You gotta love him anyway,’ she thought. He always works so hard to make me happy. Well, I guess I’ll just have to wait. To pass the time, she stepped out onto the terrace overlooking the city of Salem, a glorious sight on a clear day such as it was. Soon there was a knock at the door and it was a telegram. Tipping the delivery man, she quickly opened the envelope and began to read.
Dr. Marlena Evans,
You have been invited to a scavenger hunt
The prize is a really good one: ME
I REALLY hope you have good luck
Please go to Salem place: Johnny Angels
for your first clue Oh, yeah take the kids to
the Pub for some fun with Shawn and Caroline
Hoping to see you soon
Love, John
She had a smile a mile wide on her face as she reviewed it. Oh this is going to be a fun one. ‘You…romantic fool you.’ She made sure she looked presentable got the kids ready and off she went to find the man of her dreams. It was about an hour later when she got to Johnny Angels and she stood there looking around wondering if John were watching her and she didn’t see him. Soon, a teenaged employee brought her a cup of coffee and sweet roll, just the kind she liked and there was a note for her.
Dear Doc,
Hi, just me again. Relax a little and enjoy your coffee
Then go into the mall to Victoria’s Secret and find your
next clue. It’s a good one baby. I love you and see you soon.
Love John
‘This guy is unbelievable,’ she thought. ‘I wonder how long it will be until I find him or should I say how long he can hold out if he has planned what it seems he has planned. Oh, John you are so wonderful to me.‘ She relaxed and enjoyed the coffee and roll all the while glancing around to see if he was watching and he was, she just didn’t see him.
John stood in the distance and just watched her for awhile, enjoying the smile on her face and knew in the instant he saw it, that it was worth all the running around just to see that sight. He hadn’t been able to very often in the past few months, with all the pain they had both experienced. But, this day was one when she would smile all day if he had anything to say about it. ‘Well, I better get a move on if I’m going to stay ahead of her.‘
Marlena had been sitting for about ten minutes when she decided she couldn’t hold back any longer, and stood up, ready to go into the store to see what was next. When she got there, the young male clerk seemed to recognize her instantly and said, “You must be the gorgeous woman my customer mentioned would be coming in here about now. There is a gift for you Dr. Evans. She blushed a little and then took the package which had been specially gift wrapped for her. There was another card.
Dear Marlena,
I bought this to show you how truly beautiful
you are to me, and to let you know that I am
so completely overjoyed to be with you. I also
want you to know that the best gift I could ever
receive is to have you in bed with me when I
lie down and when I wake up. I love you Doc.
Now, go to the candy shop for your next clue.
Love, John
She opened the package to find the most beautiful piece of lingerie she had ever seen. It was a soft blue silk item that was at the same time very sexy and yet so tasteful. It was classy and seemed to be just what she might have purchased for a very special night with him. It brought tears to her eyes to think of the time and thought he was spending to make her happy. Then she put it back in the bag and was off for the next clue.
The same experience happened at the candy shop; the clerk knew who she was immediately. “Hello there lovely lady, you must be Dr. Evans. I have to tell you that the gentleman who was in earlier is completely and head over heels in love with you. He chose the finest selection we have on hand for you.”
Marlena smiled and took the box and didn’t open it, but read the card.
Hey Doc,
I hope you’re having fun because I sure am.
This box represents the sweetness you bring to me
just because you love me, and you gave me a second
chance. I sure do love you Marlena.
Hmm should I keep going, or let you find me?
Wait for a call on the cell phone in five minutes.
John
It was exactly five minutes. “Hi Doc are you enjoying yourself?” he asked, enjoying the whole set up, his voice hinting at his ultimate goal.
“Yes, but John where are you that you know exactly when I’d come out of the chocolate shop?” she asked him, turning around in a circle, looking for some sign of him.
He only laughed and then finally said, “I’ll never tell, at least not yet. So do you want to keep on going or do you want me to let you find me? I can go either way?”
“Oh I don’t know…umm let’s keep going. I don’t want to spoil your plans or anything but….” Suddenly, it dawned on her.. how she could get him back, “Oh, you mean you’d like to see me in this little number in the bag don’t you?” She shook the bag and then reached inside and began to pull the item out and heard him breath differently. She smiled and shook her hair all around, knowing how he always loved when she did it.
He swallowed hard at the thought of it…”Uh…yea..that’s it. So, like I said….I really don’t mind if we cut this little scavenger hunt short. Do you miss me?”
“Yes, but I really do like scavenger hunts, John so let’s keep going, okay? You can wait to see me in this, can’t you? I mean… you are a big boy and you’ve learned to delay gratification by now, haven’t you, honey?” she teased again.
He cleared his throat and gulped then said, “Yea…I’m a big boy.. I can.. wait. Okay then, the next stop is the candle shop. I’ll see you later,” and he said it with a touch of disappointment in his voice.
Her smile was bright and he knew that he’d made the right choice, “You can count on it my love. Thank you for doing all of this honey. It’s really wonderful, just like you are.”
“You are very welcome, Marlena. I can hardly wait to put my arms around you, pretty lady…. ” he said with a sigh of anticipation.
She went in to the candle shop and it was only a second longer before she was recognized by the clerk. ” Hello Dr. Evans, here is your package,” said the female clerk with the knowing smile. It was a medium sized box and once again, she read the card first.
Dear Doc,
This one represents the everlasting flame
of our love. I love you forever, and nothing
will ever keep me from telling you that again.
I am deeply sorry for wasting so much time.
Thanks again for giving me another chance
at sharing love with you.
Me again
Inside were two gorgeous crystal candlesticks and two handmade candles to go in them. ‘If he keeps this up I’m going to be a blubbering idiot by the time I see him. You are so wonderful John and you’re right…our love will last forever.’ The box lid had something written on it as well. Next stop is the wine shop, Doc.
Marlena went there immediately and again the sales person knew right away who she was. ‘Geez did you show my picture to each one of these people or what John,’ she thought and had to ask, “How did you know I was the woman the customer mentioned. “That’s easy… he said you would be the most beautiful woman who walked through the door and he was right,” said the young man who waited on her. She blushed significantly that time and said a quiet, “Thank you.” Inside the package was a bottle of wine, two glasses and a variety of gourmet cheeses and crackers. Marlena took notice of the vintage, and then she proceeded to open another card.
Marlena,
I chose this wine because the sweet taste of your lips
fills me with such desire. I long to savor the taste of
you and this wine, and to show you all the love
I have in my heart and soul, for only you.
See you soon, Doc
Next stop the Estee Lauder counter at Jacobson’s
She was mesmerized as she pondered his meaning, and was amazed that he had the time to write these tender thoughts and make so many stops, simply to please her. I love you so much John Black.‘ She went quickly to the department store and to the counter he mentioned where the female clerk took only a moment to recognize her. “Dr. Evans I presume. Your gentleman friend left you a nice gift and a note. I have to tell you, I have seen a lot of men buying perfume for their wives or girlfriends and I have never seen someone who was so totally in love as that man is with you. I hope everything works out well for the two of you.”
Dear Doc,
I hope you like this one. I picked this perfume
because I love to breathe in the essence of you.
Holding you close is one my greatest pleasures
in this life and even when we were apart I was
thrilled at any opportunity to hold you and just
savor your scent because you do things to me
no other woman ever has or will. I love you with
every fiber of my being Marlena. I can’t wait to
be with you, my true love.
Now go to our favorite thinking place and wait…..
This time, she cried as she read the words. She had known he often held her a second or two longer than would have been expected between friends and his breathing seemed to change when he held her close, but she had never totally understood it until this moment. He had savored those moments and didn’t want them to end. Oh John…all that time we lost…. I just love you so much and I always felt the same way, honey. She thanked the clerk and went down to their place and waited. Within moments she heard the sounds of music. There was a song playing for her, from where she could not tell: Realizing that he would soon reveal himself, she settled down to listen to the words, which were sure to be equally significant as all the notes he’d written.
I swear to you, I will always be there for you
There’s nothing I won’t do
I promise you, all my life I will live for you
We will make it through
Forever, we will be
Together, you and me
Oh, and when I hold you nothing can compare
With all of my heart you know I’ll always be right there
I believe in us, nothing else could ever mean so much
You’re the one I trust
Our time has come,
We’re not two people now, we are one
You’re second to none
Forever, we will be
Together, a family
The more I get to know you, nothing can compare
With all of my heart you know I’ll always be right there
Forever, you and me
Together oh, just you and me
The more I get to know you, the more I really care
With all of my heart you know I’ll always be right there
You know I really love you, nothing can compare
For all of my life, you know I’ll always be right there
Marlena had put the packages down and closed her eyes for a moment to listen to the words. When the song ended she had joyful tears in her eyes, and she looked up to see him standing in front of her with all the love he had meant to show her shining out of his gorgeous baby blues. “Hello my pretty lady,” he said as he handed her a single red rose. “I love you, now and forever.”
She was completely overcome with emotion and barely whispered, “Oh John, I love you so much,” and she pulled him into a tight embrace. “This was all so incredible, so romantic and sweet.” They held each other in silence for a long while, savoring the feel of the embrace and the warmth of the growing bond of love that had been tested, and now was stronger for all the pain.
After a few minutes he pulled away slightly and led her over to the bench to sit down and then he carefully knelt down beside it. His knee was still in rough shape even now almost two months since the skiing accident, but he was determined to do this right. He took her hand and then planned to say the words he had rehearsed a thousand times, but somehow when he looked in her eyes he was speechless and thought for a moment to abandon the attempt. The expression on her face assured him it would be okay, so he decided to go ahead, “Marlena, I…have so much I want to say to you. I know things have been really crazy for us and there are still so many issues to work out, but the one thing I am sure of is how deeply I have always loved you and how much I want you in my life so… I was wondering if..ummm..maybe….”
All of a sudden he felt very queasy and nervous and she giggled a little and then said reassuringly, “It’s okay, John..go ahead.”
Letting out the breath he had been holding, he asked the question, “Marlena what I’m trying to say, not so eloquently, is that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So, will you marry me, my best friend, my Soulmate?”
She just looked at him and smiled sweetly thinking how adorable he was when he was nervous about something and then she said firmly, “Yes, John I will marry you.”
He pulled a small box out of the pocket of his trusty leather jacket and then showed her the ring he had purchased. He slipped it on her finger saying, “I bought this a long time ago when I thought maybe…well I never took it back because I had this secret dream that one day I could put in on your finger. If you don’t like it we can get something fancier because I bought it on a cop’s salary and…”
She stopped him by putting her finger to his lips saying, “John, it is so amazing you kept it and that makes it even more special than if you spent a fortune on a fancy new ring. It came from your heart, John, and your heart is all I ever wanted. It’s so beautiful, I love you so much.” She had tears in her eyes again and so did he this time. They wiped each other’s faces with the pads of their thumbs then sat staring into those loving eyes for a long moment.
Then, completely forgetting about his injured knee, John was filled with excitement and practically jumped off the ground, took her in his arms and twirled her around in a circle saying, “I love you, I love you!” and then set her down on the ground again. Then he calmly walked over to the water’s edge and shouted out, “Hey Salem, I LOVE MARLENA EVANS and she loves me and WE’RE GOING TO BE MARRIED!!” He picked her up again saying, “She loves me and she wants me!”
Marlena was as happy and excited as he was and decided to join him, “Hey out there, I’m Marlena Evans and I said YES!!”
Then they held each other awhile longer, content to gaze out over the calm waters of late summer. Eventually, their need to be alone to express their love to the fullest took over and they headed to the Salem Inn for the last stop on the trail of love. John had arranged so they would spend the rest of the day together enjoying the gifts he purchased and the gift no money could ever buy, the glorious true and honest love they shared. It was an amazing testimony to the best that life had to offer for it had endured over a decade of separation, many trials and great pain, some even at each other’s hand. And yet, there they were on the eve of pledging their lives to each other again. In a way their lives had always been lived out together, it just didn’t appear that way on the surface. They had always held such great love, respect and honor for each other in the relationship and neither had ever intentionally caused the other pain. The pain had come out of the motivation to protect and nurture the other. Such a love is not often seen and should be treasured above all else in life, and John and Marlena were determined to do just that for all the days of their lives.
John and Marlena went to the Salem Inn to spend the afternoon and Marlena modeled the lingerie that John had so lovingly purchased for her. She put it on and proceeded to drive him crazy with desire for her. They put on some music and lit some candles and drank some wine. They pulled the shades and Marlena began to dance a special private dance meant for his eyes only. It was a sexy, sensuous and tastefully romantic dance of love and he found himself lost in his love and overpowering need to be one with her in body and soul, yet he waited for her signal. She cast a spell upon him as she danced, kissing him and whispering words of love in his ears, touching him and then dancing out of his hungry grasp. He was becoming filled with incredible desire, beads of sweat popping out all over his heated flesh until he thought he would die for the aching sensation all over his body, an overpowering need to have her close. Marlena loved the effect her teasing had on him and when she thought he had enough, she went to him and slowly led him from the chair to the bed. With agonizing attention to detail, she began undressing him, which only served to fuel the fire. Staring at him with seductive eyes, she spoke to him in a breathy whisper, “Are you ready now John?”
He couldn’t even answer her, his breathing was so ragged and his heart pounding so forcefully, beads of sweat beginning to drip off his chest as she kissed him there. He simply nodded his head and showed her his desire in his eyes and his body as he pressed himself against her, still waiting for the words.
“Then by all means John make love to your fiance!”
That was all it took, and he allowed himself to let loose the control he was barely holding and love her completely. John eased her down and then kissed her, running his tongue over every inch of her flesh. Soon they were well on their way to becoming melded into one; the world disappeared as their minds and bodies were consumed with love and passion. “Oh Marlena, the love we make is so….incredible and I never want it to end. I love you so much, Doc!”
“John, I love you too and I have wanted you like this for so long now. I can’t get close enough to you…Oh John..” He responded to that comment by pulling her even closer and then began to take her somewhat forcefully, and she moaned in her desire for him. He wanted to please her even more and so he took her hands, placing them over her head as he kissed and nibbled on her breasts. Lost in sensation, she felt as though every nerve ending had been fired. “Oh…John… oh, honey…” she cried, aching to have him inside her body.
It was amazing love they were making and she wanted him to feel as good as he was making her feel so she began to run her tongue along his flesh as well and she heard the soft moan that told her she was having the desired effect on him.
“Oh Doc…I have needed you so much. I don’t know how I survived without you baby..” He was on fire for her and moved to take her in an intense clinch, entering in one effortless motion, his body moving in time with hers. “Me too….I need you so badly…” Higher and higher they climbed toward the summit, finally reaching a shared experience of pleasure that left them exhausted in that wonderful way only love does. Breathless and satisfied, they lay in silence, with a sense of intimacy that was unmatched, hearing only the sounds of their labored breathing slowly returning to normal, smiling for the pleasure the act could bring.
They basked quietly in that sweet afterglow and held each other tight enjoying the wondrous renewal of love and passion for each other. It felt so good to be back together and openly in love. They had been apart for so long, and yet when they loved it was as if they were never separated. All the moves and pleasure zones had been forever etched in their minds and bodies and everything came rushing back in an instant when they made love that first time. Each time was even better than the one before and it surprised them a little to feel the giddy excitement envelope them as if they were first time lovers, even with their history in the background.
After awhile they got up and showered together, and although they wanted to there was not quite enough energy to make love again. Instead, they played a little, having fun with the deepening level of intimacy and freedom as they kissed and washed their bodies together.
When they were dressed and eating some of the gourmet food from John’s little scavenger hunt, Marlena was wondering about something important and had to ask him. “John, can we tell people about the engagement or should we wait?” She knew he was working with Vivian to take Kristen down and trying to acquire custody of his newborn son, not to mention the fact that it was fairly soon after Roman’s death. But still… they had waited such a long time to be together and she wanted their love out in the open.
He hated to disappoint her, but there were so many problems that if they were openly engaged wouldn’t be solved. “I’m sorry honey, but I think we need to wait awhile. I’m working with the attorney on this custody suit and I’ve been….collaborating with Vivian about how to fully expose Kristen and pay her back a little for what she did to us. If she knew we were engaged to be married she wouldn’t buy my guilty act about leaving her and John Jr. You understand, don’t you Doc?”
She was trying to understand, but any way she looked at it Kristen was still standing in their way even now when they were together. “John, I just want all of this to be overwith, so we can be married and live out the love we’ve shared for so long. I hate that you have to go see her and pretend to feel guilty about leaving, all to keep her from figuring out what you’re doing about the custody suit. Are you sure Vivian won’t double-cross you, John?”
He shrugged his shoulders and said, “I know… and I hate making you wait…but this is something I have to do. As far as Vivian goes, I’m about as sure as I can be where she is concerned. She knows that Kristen was close to being exposed anyway and that she was going down with the witch, so I think we can count on her for the duration of this little operation. She *has* come through so far in telling me what Kristen was trying to do to upset you, Doc.”
“Yes, she has, and for that I’m grateful. I just don’t trust her or her motives. If Kristen figures it out you could be in such danger, John. Stefano is bound to be angry about the truth of his being alive being revealed and he will threaten Vivian if he learns she’s helping you. Then she’ll turn on you in a heartbeat and the three of them will be after you.”
He grimaced and agreed to the possibility, “Yea, I know it’s a risk, but I’m willing to take that risk Marlena. Kristen deserves to suffer some of the pain she has caused us and I intend to make sure it happens no matter what she and Stefano think they are going to do to me as a result. I won’t let them keep on hurting us and getting away with it!” His face bore that familiar hot angry expression he showed her only when he talked of the Dimera’s.
Marlena hated when he looked like that, he seemed so full of rage and it scared her. She agreed it wasn’t fair that they always evaded the penalties for their crimes, but she didn’t want John to play the vigilante either. In the back of her mind she was worried that one day he might kill in cold blood if provoked enough by the suffering inflicted on him and the people he loved by that evil, twisted version of a family.
“John, let’s not talk about this any more. Let’s just spend the rest of the afternoon relaxing and enjoying this little feast you put together, okay?” She kissed him on the neck from behind and began to massage the tension that had begun to creep into the muscles of his neck and shoulders.
Fortunately, he responded quite nicely, “Oh…I guess I can put this away if you have something better in mind to do with our time..Oh….yea…that feels very nice…Uh huh…. nothing else I want to do but love you, lady.” He turned around, halting the massage, then kissed her in return, and before they knew it they were back on the bed making love again. ‘God this feels so good!’ he thought as he captured her mouth and kissed her with fury. “Oh boy, do I love you, Marlena,” he said staring into pools of amber.
“And I love you, John Black and it feels very good to say that to you so easily and freely. ” She gazed straight through to his soul and said it with intensity, “I’m *so* in love with you!”
He sighed and smiled, tracing the outline of her jaw while replying honestly, “Doc, I have been hopelessly in love you from almost the first day I looked into those incredible eyes. And, my fate was sealed forever when you flashed that first brilliant smile for me. I was hooked baby,” he said with that adorably sexy wink she found so enticing.
She giggled and blushed a little, making a playful demand, “Then why don’t you shut up and show me again how much you still love me.”
His eyes said it all, ‘You asked for it and you’ve got it,‘ and then he proceeded to worship her body once more, giving her such pleasure as she had only imagined for several years. Only this was beyond anything she could have imagined, his physical expression of love for her overpowering. John held her slender body down with his muscular right leg, his left hand holding her hands above her head so she couldn’t move. In seconds, he was capturing her mouth and then biting her neck, moving swiftly toward the tender flesh of her breast…while his right hand found the warm place between her legs, touching her with amazing tenderness that made her squirm. It wasn’t long before she was engulfed in the flames he ignited deep within her body, and she cried out to him, “Oh John.. you make me feel so good..oh…John!” she cried, almost begging him to bring them to completion.
John was filled with immense passion for her and it was not for his pleasure at all, but for hers. For so long he ached to share himself with her this way, but had come to believe their romantic love was over, essentially having given up on the dream of ever holding her and making love with her again. “I want to make you feel so loved and so special. Just enjoy this one, my love. You deserve only good feelings, Marlena.” He brought her to dizzying heights of desire and then at just the right moment he allowed himself to join with her in heart, mind, body and soul… Their bodies moving in perfect unspoken rhythm, they shared that incredible ecstasy they had not found anywhere but in each others loving arms.
Kristen Blake continued to operate under the assumption that Vivian Alamain was helping her with her schemes to break up the recently renewed love relationship between John and Marlena. She had no idea that John knew about the baby not being his, about Susan, etc. ‘She was easily fooled,’ thought Vivian, almost as easily as her nephew had been. She had just finished her most recent meeting with the skinny little tramp. ‘This is so much more interesting and rewarding,’ she thought. Kristen had no true loyalty to anyone but herself and Vivian had no real guilt about having turned on her to help her nephew John Black when he had confronted her about her involvement with Kristen. Even a cynical, cold heart like Vivian’s could recognize true love when she saw it. She actually smiled as she remembered seeing him with Marlena and the couple’s two children playing together. ‘Well, he is my nephew and he does have some influence with Victor. Besides, Kristen was bound to be exposed soon anyway and this way I won’t be going down with her when it happens.’ So, from this point on she would do no more second-guessing about her decision to give Kristen up to John.
She had to trust that he could protect her from Stefano Dimera who would be angry to learn she had double-crossed his adopted daughter. ‘Maybe not,‘ she thought as she remembered how Kristen had threatened to kill the woman her father *loved.* That was using the term loosely; the man had no concept of the meaning of the word, it was more of a lustful obsession he had for Marlena Evans. If he were to learn exactly how much Kristen hated the woman and how she planned to kill her if necessary, he would turn his anger toward Kristen instead of Vivian. She planned to use that information if necessary. The two women had just finished a discussion of how to sabotage the relationship between John and Marlena, by using Sami, terrorizing Marlena and by using John’s guilt about leaving his newborn son. Vivian promptly called John to inform him of the plans Kristen had made and John told her about the custody hearing that had been scheduled.
John Black hired a highly skilled attorney recommended by Mickey Horton in his pursuit of custody of John, Jr. and Susan Banks used all her remaining money from Stefano to hire the best attorney she could find. Today was the day the custody decision was to be made, unbeknownst to Kristen. Vivian Alamain had a plan to keep her well occupied and not thinking about the whereabouts of her estranged husband.
The court appointed a guardian ad litem to address the needs of the child and the social worker met with Marlena Evans, John Black and Susan Banks to complete a thorough assessment of the situation. She only thought she met with Kristen Blake, when in reality it had been Susan Banks effectively impersonating the woman. Susan reluctantly agreed to play the role one last time because she knew that Kristen was the last person on earth who should have custody of the baby Susan had carried within her womb. A court appointed psychiatrist had also interviewed all parties involved. The judge, having recently reviewed all relevant materials provided, was now prepared to declare his ruling, which though painful to deliver was fairly clear in terms of legal precedent.
Marlena reached over to take John’s hand in hers as the judge entered the courtroom, and kept on holding it as the man sat down at the bench. She glanced over at Susan and wondered if the woman were up to the task of raising the child if custody were indeed awarded to her. Marlena had not been allowed to provide any assistance because of a conflict of interest ruling, and so her opinions could not be included or even divulged as part of the process.
The judge began to speak and John was slightly nervous but generally confident, believing that Susan was not nearly as capable of raising the baby as he was. Especially since he and Marlena were soon to be married and could provide a more stable home life for the infant he loved so much.
He snapped to attention as the Judge began to speak, “I have reviewed all the evidence in this difficult custody situation and I am prepared to render the only decision possible in this case. But, first I must say I commend all parties concerned for their conduct in these proceedings. These custody battles often seem to bring out the worst in people and you Mr. Black, Ms. Blake, who is apparently not present and Miss Banks have shown only respect for one another and the utmost concern for the needs of the child. The reports reflect this conclusion as do my own observations. That being said, it is my sworn duty to give my ruling based on the facts of the law, and therefore, I award sole custody of said child, formerly known as John Black, Jr. to the birth mother, Ms. Susan Banks. The law is very clear in these matters and it fully supports the rights of the biological parent unless said parent is clearly deemed unfit. However, Miss Banks.. this court strongly recommends you attend parenting classes and individual therapy to assist you in taking on full responsibility for raising this child.”
“Oh, I will your honor, I will, I promise you!” said Susan enthusiastically, nearly ecstatic to know she was going to raise her precious little Elvis.
Several long minutes passed as the Judge waved Susan and her attorney to come toward the bench. Marlena honored the silence, just holding John’s hand while they waited for further information. The Judge cleared his throat and directed his next comments to John. “Mr. Black, due to the unusual circumstances in this case you are being granted 24hours to spend with the child in order to allow for proper closure. Miss Banks has been very gracious in agreeing to this condition. The child must be turned over to Miss Banks at the Dimera Mansion at 10:00AM tomorrow morning, is that understood?”
John was completely stunned and the best he could do was nod his head and whisper his agreement. His worst fear had just become a reality as it was said in such a matter of fact manner by the Judge, and if Marlena hadn’t been sitting there to support him he didn’t know if he could have kept his composure until the Judge left the courtroom. “No, this can’t be happening! He’s talking about MY son!” He turned to Marlena and the attorney and added, still incredulous and feeling such frustration, “I thought you said we had a good chance….both of you! Oh my God, I have to give him up. But he’s my son and love him, how can I just.. let him go? Oh, I can’t do it, Doc I can’t do it!” he exclaimed rather anxiously.
Marlena hugged him to her, and said sadly, “I’m so sorry John but you have no choice, the decision has been made, there’s nothing we can do now.”
“No, No! We’ll fight it, we can fight it, can’t we?” he asked the attorney in desperation.
“I’m sorry Mr. Black. The law is fairly clear on these matters. It was a long shot at best. I’m very sorry it didn’t work out the way you had hoped.” The man turned to leave the courtroom.
John was hurt and angry and he lashed out. “Sorry, everybody’s sorry! We’re talking about my son! He’s My son! Oh Doc how am I going to say goodbye to him?”
“Oh, John I know this is hard for you to accept. I had hoped it would work out the way you wanted, but it didn’t and you have to accept it, honey.” She tried to embrace him in comfort again, but he pulled away.
“I’m going to see him, I’ll be spending the night at the Mansion so I can spend every last second with him. I’ll see you later, Doc. Bye.” Then as he started to walk down the aisle he turned back and spoke with fury, “Kristen!! she’s the one who did this. She’s going to pay for this pain, I swear it!!”
He was so hurt and angry and she knew he still felt terrible about having been so completely fooled by the witch. Marlena was more than a little concerned about what he might do to make good on that threat. But, she had to trust that he would be alright.
John spent the day and night in the nursery, finally succumbing to sleep around 3:00 AM while holding a tiny hand and staring at the sweet little face of the newborn boy he thought was his. He wanted to memorize that tiny face and everything else about him. Even now, a month after he had learned the truth he still couldn’t believe the baby wasn’t his and that Kristen had lied and schemed to keep him, going so far as to substitute another woman’s baby for the one they had lost in Paris. He didn’t even know what to think or feel about that loss, as this child and the impending loss of him was so much more real. Before John knew it, it was time to give the baby up.
Kristen had been positively shocked to find John in the nursery when she woke up to check on the baby. Susan had asked for a few days off and she had been so relieved she hadn’t thought much about the reason. John made up a somewhat truthful explanation about missing his son and wanting to spend some time with John, Jr. saying he had fallen asleep in the room and that she wasn’t home when he came over to the house.
John didn’t want her to have any warning about Susan coming to take custody of her child. He wanted Kristen to suffer the pain he felt though he didn’t think she really cared about the baby the way he did. She had just wanted the child in order to keep him bound to her and she must have spent so much time since the birth doing damage control with Susan right there in the house with them. Dammit, why didn’t I see it, how could I have been so easily misled? Oh God, when will the pain and deception ever stop for us Doc? It was starting to overwhelm him again and he shook his head to clear the negative guilt-oriented thoughts from his mind. They wouldn’t help him now.
He stayed to have breakfast with Kristen, thinking how amazing it was that he and Vivian had worked so well together to keep Kristen in the dark about the whole custody issue. Vivian had turned out to be quite an ally in the struggle and he felt strangely thankful, though he knew her loyalty was not something he could count on for long. If something better came along she would change her tune quickly. He would never trust her completely. John forced himself to make small talk with Kristen to distract her. In recent weeks he had backtracked in his conversations and often pretended to feel torn about giving up his life with her and the baby, all the while his love for Marlena was growing and they were quietly planning a wedding. He feigned guilt about leaving Kristen and the baby, telling her he still cared for her in spite of everything she had done to betray his trust, saying that the baby shouldn’t have to grow up without both of his parents. He made it seem as though he might leave Marlena and come back to her again. Kristen fell for his line because it was what she wanted to hear, as much for revenge as to have him, and had been working behind the scenes with Vivian to undermine the relationship to ensure he did what he was saying he might. John talked so naively about what was happening to Marlena and how upset she was, saying that it was causing tension between them, and Kristen truly believed him.
Therefore, when the two uniformed police officers arrived with Susan Banks, who had the court order in hand, Kristen was in complete shock and argued with them violently. John went quietly upstairs to get John Jr. and then as he started to hand him over to Susan an immense wave of loss washed over him and he asked as a few tears leaked out, “Could I have just one more minute with him, please?”
Seeing how difficult it was, Susan answered immediately, giving him permission, “Of course John Black, of course you can, you just go on and take all the time you need.”
In the next minute Marlena came to the door, having wanted to be there to support John. Kristen was alternating between being a screaming, frantic maniac and a woman who was calmly threatening as she tried to reach her attorneys and her father.
John went into the living room, his heart breaking at that thought that he was holding his son for the last time. “Well, baby… I guess this is it. I have to say goodbye now.” Marlena could see the tears streaming down his cheeks as she stood quietly watching him, not wanting to disturb the moment. “I love you, little guy.. and I always will.” He stared into the tiny face and held a little hand saying tearfully, “Your mommy… she’s going to do the best she can to raise you with love, but if you ever need anything at all, I’ll be there for you. Goodbye, my son…” He kissed the baby’s cheek, wiped his tears with his shirt sleeve and turned around to see Marlena wiping away a few tears of her own, in empathy for his pain. “Hey, Doc thanks for coming here,” he said with a weak smile, grateful but not really surprised.
She walked silently over to him and put her arm around his waist and together they went out into the foyer and then John silently handed the child to Susan. She said, “Thank you. I promise you John Black, I’m gonna take real good care of this baby and I’m going to go to those parenting classes and counseling like the Judge said I should. Don’t you worry a bit… I’m gonna be a good Momma to him.”
John nodded and took one last glimpse at the little boy, saying quietly, “I know you will Susan. I’m just going to.. miss him terribly. I love him very much.” It was so painful to accept that this little bundle had never been his to love and he knew how agonizing it must have been for Roman to learn Belle was not his little girl. ‘I’m so sorry for what you suffered Roman,‘ he said in his mind.
Susan hated to see the pain in his blue eyes… and apologized for everything, “I’m so sorry about all of this and I never meant to hurt you this way. Kristen and that evil Mr. Dimera just pressured me so much, and I didn’t know what to do.”
He knew she was being truthful. Taking her free hand briefly, he gave it a light squeeze and said kindly, “I know it Susan and I don’t blame you at all. I blame them for everything. Please just take good care of him.” She nodded and then left without another word. She was on her way to her new life with her child. John sighed wearily and stepped into the sitting room.
Kristen came running back down the hallway screaming, “NO! No! you can’t take my baby away from me!” She ran out as if to take the baby from Susan’s arms, but the police officers restrained her and Susan was ushered into the squad car for safety. Kristen gave up for the moment, turning back to yell at John, “You knew this was going to happen! You let them do this, take our baby away? How could you do that to me?”
He was disgusted with her completely, and didn’t hesitate to tell her so, “He’s not our child Kristen and he never was!! You lost our baby in Paris months ago. *You* did this!! You caused the agony I feel in having to give him up! You never cared about the baby, you just used him to hold onto me. I HATE you Kristen!! You lied to me every day of our life together. I believed you, I trusted you and you betrayed me and hurt so many people I care about!!” He was becoming enraged and felt the overpowering self-doubt returning, so he decided not to waste any more time with her. He turned to Marlena, who was wisely quiet, and put his arm around her waist. Ending the conversation and the relationship, he spoke to his true love, saying, “Come on Doc, let’s go. I don’t want to spend another second of my life thinking about her and I never want to set foot in this evil place again.” Marlena met his gaze and nodded, letting him see how much she cared about his pain without saying the words. Then they walked out arm in arm never looking back, even as Kristen screamed after them.
“You’ll be sorry for doing this John!! You’ll be sorry for letting them take the baby away, for leaving me and then pretending you still cared. Believe me John, you *will* be sorry. Stefano and I will make sure of it!” As soon as they were gone, she called her father and they began to make new plans for revenge against John.
Marlena and John rode back to the Penthouse in silence. Marlena knew there was nothing to be said that could make his pain less intense at the moment, and John had no words to describe the sense of emptiness caused by this loss or the betrayal he had suffered because of Kristen’s sick desire to possess and control him. Marlena was still so angry with the woman for all the pain she had put both of them through. The couple entered their Penthouse quietly, and John went over to sit down on the floor near the terrace, pulling out all the baby pictures he had taken with him from the Mansion, staring at them and shaking his head. “I still can’t believe it, Marlena. He was never even mine. My baby died a long time ago. I don’t even know what to feel about that now. But my heart is….crushed to lose John, Jr….no, that’s not right…” He fell silent a moment then added, “Now I know how Roman felt..I’m so sorry about all that.” John stood up and walked back toward the door and then he added, “I have caused so many people so much grief in my life…you, Roman, the kids. Most of all you, Doc. I have hurt you so much by my….stupid, blind trust in….Her.” He spoke with such self-derision it pained her to hear it and to see the downcast expression on his face.
Making a move to sit down next to him, Marlena tried to help him with it, “John, I know that losing this child hurts you very much and it reminds you of all of Kristen’s lies. But I’m not going to let you lose yourself in guilt again. Honey, it doesn’t help to blame yourself for all the pain. We have worked through so much of that and I hate to see you keep tearing yourself up because of what she did to us. You have to let it go, John.”
He looked up at her and saw such concern and love and it made the loss a little more bearable. So he edged closer still, took her in his arms then replied with a half hearted nod, “You’re right, Marlena. I know that, but this is all so hard to accept. The idea that she could go this far to hang onto me.. it’s just so…sick and I still can’t believe I was so easily fooled by her. I never suspected….” Tears came back to his eyes as he caressed her cheek and stroked her hair and he spoke in whispers, “Oh Doc, thank you for…loving me. I don’t know what I’d ever do without you in my life.”
She smiled and held him tight, speaking reassuringly, “Well, you are never going to know that because I will always be by your side, John Black. We are together forever this time and I couldn’t be happier.”
The strength began to return to his voice, “Ohhh….yes we are and I can’t wait to stand in front of all our friends and family and say the vows I have wanted to say to you for *such* a long time.” He leaned in close and nuzzled his face in her neck and hair. He relished the opportunity to breathe in that scent he had longed to smell, even for a second, during all the time they had been apart. Then he planted soft kisses at the base of her neck and worked his way around from the back to the front where he kissed the hollow of that lovely neck. She moaned quietly and then took his face in her hands, kissing him in return, their tongues soon exploring long uncharted territory.
“I love you beyond measure, Marlena,” he told her as he continued to show her with his hands and mouth exactly how much it was that he loved her.
She felt herself falling again in that wonderful way one does when touched so tenderly by a true love. “This is where we were meant to be John, you know that, don’t you?”
He nodded and nuzzled some more, amazed to be with her, and yet afraid to trust in it completely. “Yes, I do. It’s just I… can’t shake the feeling that something else is going to come along and take it from us again.”
“John…” she said, sounding slightly perturbed. “You really do need to stop this.” You rob yourself of happiness by wasting time worrying. Please, just enjoy the fact that we finally found our way back to each other and that we have a chance to share our lives.”
He shook his head to clear it of that negativity and said, “Yes, you’re right it is a waste of time, Doc. Listen, I know that we were just getting into something here, but what if we spend the day together as a family with Belle and Brady?”
She had been planning on suggesting the same thing, That’s sounds like a great idea to me. I was just about to remind you that you have two beautiful children for whom you have not had a lot of time in the past few months. They need you and they’ve missed you very much, John. Now, before you even say it, I’m not telling you this to make you feel guilty, I’m just saying you need to count your blessings.”
He knew she was right, as usual. He had not been there for them and he couldn’t help but feel bad about that because it had all been out of his commitment to a new family that was based on one falsehood after another. “I’m truly sorry about that and I will do everything I can to be there from now on. Marlena, I promise you… I will never neglect you and the kids again, for any reason. Now, let’s go pack up a lunch and take them to the park for the day, how’s that sound to you?”
“It’s just what I had in mind, John. I’m glad to see you’re not going to spend the day…..focusing only on what you’ve lost. You will have time for grief, but you also need to remember what a wonderful family you already have, right here with you.”
He popped up off the floor, folding the photo albums up and smiling. “Yes, I do. So, what are we waiting for, Doc?” Reaching out a hand to help her up, he spoke with renewed enthusiasm, “Let’s get a move on! I’m going to go up and tell the kids and the sitter what we’ve got planned.” As he started to go toward the stairs he winked at her devilishly and asked, “Can you handle making some sandwiches, or do we need to go by the Pub on the way to the park?”
She giggled as she remembered something, “Uh…John, do you remember your promise from Colorado, you know… the one about not criticizing my cooking or my coffee? Did you want to rephrase that, sweety?”
“Oh, Jeez I was hoping you’d forgotten that little thing by now,” he muttered just loud enough for her to hear it. Then he winked again and did as suggested, saying, “Uh..gee honey, I’m sure that we will love anything you decide to put together for a picnic. You are such a wonderful cook, dear.” It was tough to get those last words out, but he did it with a cross between a smile and a grimace on his face.
Marlena giggled and then laughed heartily at his expression, “Very good, John. You really are becoming much more believable when you make those compliments.” Then she turned the tables on him… “However, I can tell that you’re still tempted to tease me, so keep working on it or I might just have to tell everyone at the wedding reception exactly how you hurt your knee and… about this little bargain you made to keep my silence.”
He got that slightly panicked look on his face and made a fervent plea, “No, please don’t do that, especially there, Doc. Listen, I’ll keep working on it. I promise… I won’t tease you.”
She walked over, taking him by surprise, and reached her hands around him to squeeze his behind a little and whispered in his ear as she began to kiss his neck. “Oh, John did I ever tell you how adorable and sexy you are when you plead with me?”
Feeling himself becoming quite aroused at just the closeness, he said with slightly labored breathing, “Oh, Marlena…I…uh..” He stopped and captured her mouth with tenderness and yet with such passion and both moaned with desire for each other. His voice was full of passion that further aroused hers, “Did I ever tell *you* that you are adorable and sexy at all times of the day and night, and that I go crazy with desire whenever you even…stand near me?”
“Well, no not exactly. How about you tell me that same thing without using one more word,” she said, issuing a challenge of sorts.
With a smoldering glance he showed her the overwhelming desire he felt for her, and she just melted into it, kissing him hungrily in response. Then he verbalized the effect that last kiss had, “Ooh baby, you know if I do that… the picnic isn’t going to happen.”
She stopped kissing him abruptly and said to tease, “Oh, you’re right, you better get on up there and get the kids ready while I pack that delicious lunch we just discussed.” She saw his reluctance to part for even a moment and she said with a teasing wink as she patted his rear, “John, go on ahead, I’ll be fine down here in the kitchen.”
Groaning with unfulfilled desire, he said, “Marlena Evans you will be the death of me yet if you keep doing that to me!” Then he moved in swiftly catching her off guard and kissed her fiercely, taking her breath and leaving her wanting him. “Well, I’ll just get on out of your way now, Doc.” He was giggling with the satisfaction of achieving sweet payback, as he ran on up the stairs. Hopefully, there would be more of the same to follow when the kids were down for the night. ‘Soon, Doc… we won’t have to stop… and I can’t wait!’ he was saying to himself as he stood at the top of the stairs and took one last longing glance at the sexy figure of the woman he loved.
Belle and Brady were very excited to be spending the day with both parents. There had been so much sadness and tension around them. And even though they had been insulated from much of it, they knew Mommy Marlena had been crying a lot because of Roman’s death and that John was missing his new baby, though they had little understanding of the events that had transpired over the past couple of months. The children also sensed the tension between their parents at various points in the process of reconciliation and secretly wondered if they would ever be a family like they both dreamed of for so long. As they prepared to leave for a day at the park, Brady asked with childlike innocence, “Does this mean we can all be happy now? Cause you and Mommy have been so sad and upset lately. Belle and me talked about it, and we want you to be happy again.”
Belle piped up too, “Yea, I fought when you and Mommy kissed it meaned you wuved each uvvver again. But sometimes you get mad at each uvver and it makes Belle and Bwady sad.”
John and Marlena looked at each other and in their eyes they marveled at these amazingly insightful children. Then John answered for them, “Oh Brady, Belle baby, we are so sorry if it seemed like you couldn’t be happy. Your Mommy and I have had a lot on our minds lately and some sad things happened to us. But things are going to be getting better and we promise to spend lots of fun times together as a family, starting right now. How does that sound?”
“Yeah! Daddy and Mommy are smiling again!” said Belle happily as she jumped up on Marlena’s lap with shoes in hand. “Wet’s pack up and go on our picnic now!”
Marlena smiled as she helped Belle with those shoes and said, “I think this is going to be the start of some really good times for this little family.” Then she looked at John and asked, “Can I tell them John?”
He smiled at her somewhat uncertainly after all that had taken place and answered, “Only if you’re sure Doc.”
She looked back forth between John and the kids and was filled with a feeling of such complete contentment and then answered him, “Well, I said yes didn’t I? Am I supposed to be any more sure than that? Kids, your Daddy and I have some good news. We are going to be married and we will all be a family together forever. How do you like that?”
Both kids jumped up and down saying, “Yipee we’re getting married! Then Belle added, “Yeah! just like in my dreams!”
“We’re going to be a real family just like I’ve always wanted!” agreed Brady.
John’s heart which had felt such despair a short time ago was filled with joy at this prospect and he said as he hugged the kids, “Oh, you guys it’s just what I’ve always wanted and dreamed of too…for as long as I can remember.” He reached out to caress Marlena’s cheek and his eyes and gentle touch spoke more than words could express of his love for her.
Marlena felt herself melting into those eyes and the doubts were fading with each passing day. ‘This man loves me with his whole heart and soul and I’m going to let go of the pain from the past and allow myself to embrace his love. John could see and feel what she was thinking as she gazed deeply into his eyes and took his hand, kissing it gently in return. She finally said something about it all, “Being a family and marrying your Daddy is all I have wanted for a very long time too, and it’s finally going to happen. We all deserve some happiness for a change, right?”
All three of them answered, “Right!” Then the kids jumped up off the couch and said, “So, what are we waiting for, let’s go to the park!”
“Belle said to her brother, “I’ll wace you to the door!” and Brady replied, “I always win, Belle…well maybe I’ll lose once in awhile.” They ran toward the door to wait for their parents who enjoyed the feeling of togetherness for a moment longer.
When they arrived at the park, the sun was shining brightly, a few lazy clouds passing overhead occasionally. They spread out a blanket and Marlena laid out the picnic spread while John played with the kids. He gave them rides on the merry-go-round until he got too dizzy, with giggles and shouts of “Faster, Daddy faster!! echoing all around. Then it was on to the swings and he pushed both at the same time so neither would complain of fewer turns and it was, “Higher, Daddy higher!” that they shouted gleefully. Finally, he ended up at the teeter-totter and he had fun teasing them. Both Belle and Brady got on one end while John was on the other and they couldn’t understand why they couldn’t make their father go up when they struggled with all their might to make it happen. Then all of a sudden when they quit trying he would pop off the ground and send them down. He was chuckling at their confusion and they giggled as they tried to understand how he did that. Belle finally asked, “Daddy, how you doin’ that?”
Brady seemed to figure it out, “I know, Daddy’s a lot bigger than us and he can hold us up in the air cause he weighs more. Then he pushes off the ground to make us go down, right Daddy?”
“That’s exactly right, slugger. Now, how about I race you back over to the blanket for some lunch?” He got up to run but gave them a good head start. The kids were laughing at him as he did all sorts of silly motions as he walked faster than they could run. Then he rushed past them and started to run backwards to show off and he smiled at Marlena in his most endearing childlike manner as if to say, ‘watch me, and just then he stepped in a hole and went down on his back side, hard. The kids who were a few steps behind fell right onto his as yet undefended abdomen and knocked the wind out of him completely then started tickling him.
Marlena saw it from a distance and had to stifle a laugh as she came running, not knowing whether he was hurt. She quickly realized he wasn’t and resumed her earlier reaction of laughter. Then she pounced on top of him to tickle him as well.
Nobody had yet noticed about John not having made a sound and he soon started gasping for air and then once he caught his breath again he too was laughing hard at himself. The four of them kept up the tickling until their belly’s hurt.
“Daddy fell down because he wasn’t watching where he was going like he always says we should do.”
“Yea, I fink he was showing off for Mommy,” said Belle.
“Me, too,” agreed Brady.
“Hey, give me a little more credit than that! I was just playing and I stepped in a hole. I wasn’t trying to show off for anybody.”
“I think they’ve got your number Daddy. Admit it, you were trying to show us your athletic agility and speed and you messed up big time.”
Even John had to admit he had been having fun teasing the kids and he was the one getting teased now, turnabout is fair play he thought. “Oh, maybe a little, I guess. So sue me. You all got a chance to tickle me when I couldn’t defend myself because I had the wind knocked out of me, didn’t you? Would you like me to pay you back, with no mercy?”
He made a move as if to do so and the other three got up quickly and raced off toward the picnic blanket, leaving him lying there, still trying to fully catch his breath. He found himself smiling as he watched them run away laughing and looking back to see if he had given chase. ‘Thank you Lord for giving me what I have longed for and thought I would never have again. I love them all so much, and I promise I will be the best father and husband I know how to be, and I will never let them down again.’ He felt a sense of peace and contentment about the direction his life was now taking even though the pain of Kristen’s betrayal and the accompanying self-doubt were still there and the loss of the newborn child he had thought was his own left an empty space in his heart. Marlena’s love and support and this special family would bring him healing; he knew that beyond all doubt. John planned to bring healing to Marlena’s heart as well, vowing to do whatever he could do to reassure her of the strength and depth of his love and his commitment, knowing they would love this way for the rest of their lives.
The little family was sitting on the picnic blanket just having finished their lunch. As they relaxed in silence each in separate thoughts, little Brady was glad to be having fun, but still felt confused by the turn of events in recent weeks. He asked quite innocently having no idea what pain his question would bring for his parents, “What about Mommy Kristen? How come we don’t see her anymore? Daddy, you never splained about that.”
His son deserved so much more than he had given in recent months and this question jolted John out of his peaceful reverie with that painful truth again. He had to tell his son in some way what had happened and admit to his foolishness and his mistakes, “Brady I should have explained all this to you before and I’m so sorry I didn’t, but Daddy was very upset about it. Would you and Belle like me to tell you about it now?”
Belle answered, “Yes, Daddy why you not wike her anymore? Mommy said you wuved her one time, but she sayed bad things to Mommy. I heared her one time and I didn’t wike dat cause she made Mommy cwy!”
John felt like he was stabbed by another dagger of guilt and he looked instantly to Marlena who didn’t turn away, but that sadness was there in her eyes again and that nagging doubt. ‘Will we ever be truly free of her evil ways and my blindness to them?’ he thought as he said, “Doc?”
By the time he recovered from the sudden change in atmosphere and stood up to talk with her she was shaking her head as if to say, not now and had already walked a few yards away toward the playground equipment. She was leaving him alone to answer the kids questions.
“Okay, kids… Daddy will do the best he can to explain this so you can understand it. Daddy and Mommy have always loved each other very much, but because of some mistakes we made a long time ago I wasn’t able to tell her and she wasn’t able to tell me. I was very sad and needed someone to be with and I met Kristen. She was a pretty good person at that time and then so many things happened and she began to change and do some very bad things. But Daddy couldn’t see that and he….hurt Mommy because he didn’t know Kristen was mean to her. Daddy finally decided he should take a chance and tell Mommy he still loved her and we got back together, but it has been…hard to forgive some of the hurts. That’s why you have heard us get upset sometimes. I’m very sorry if you felt sad because of that. Can you understand?”
Brady and Belle looked at each other and nodded and then Brady answered with a question, “Daddy, you still feel sad about hurting Mommy, don’t you?”
“Oh, Brady, yes Daddy will probably always feel sad about that. Hurting Mommy is the last thing I ever wanted to do. I only want to love her and make her happy and I will spend the rest of my life doing just that.” He glanced over at her and she was still standing a short distance away, as it was painful to hear him try to explain his actions to their children.
Then Belle added her two cents, “Daddy, how come you not see what Kwisten was doing to Mommy? I heared her ask that out woud sometimes when she fought I was asweep. She sayed you should have known. How come you didn’t?”
That was one question too many for him and he felt horrible and the guilt and sorrow for causing Marlena pain came rushing back in full force. She was right, he should have known and once again he was uncertain of Marlena’s trust and belief in him. If she really believed that…she would always hold out blame toward him, and yet they had moved past all that hadn’t they? For a moment he wished it away and then snapped himself back to reality, “Belle, I don’t know why….I…can’t explain that too well.” He felt as if he couldn’t breathe, the pressure was getting to be too much, and he needed to check in with Marlena, “Sweetheart, I…need to go see Mommy for a minute, I’ll be right back, all right?”
He wanted to get away from all the pain for just a little while, but he knew he needed to talk to his fiance first. He settled the kids down with some books and then went over to Marlena who was standing with her back to him near the swing set. He didn’t touch her, sensing she didn’t want that, for he knew she was hurting all over again as she had listened to him try to explain what had happened with Kristen to their children. He asked her with anguish in his quiet voice, “Marlena, can you please look at me? Baby, tell me we aren’t going back down that painful road again. A short time ago you told me we were meant to be together forever and you told the kids about our wedding plans. Please tell me you still want that.”
She waited a moment and then turned to face him while wiping a few straggling tears from her face, “Oh, John…every time I think we’ve made it past the pain something brings it all rushing back to me. All the vile things she said to me while you were telling me how wonderful she was, how she was so kind and considerate, untouched by Stefano. She’s just like him, John!” She had raised her voice unintentionally and then immediately attempted to calm herself, but he knew where this conversation might lead.
Frightened again, he thought, ‘Oh no, please don’t let her say what I think she’s going to say.’ He didn’t want to ask but he had to know, “Doc, what are you telling me here? I can’t live with this uncertainty, wondering when the next reminder will come along and take us back through the pain and doubts again. If you want to put an end to Us, just tell me now.” He tried to be quiet and keep his composure, but this was killing him. “Please, Marlena I can’t.. do this anymore!”
“I honestly don’t know, John. As difficult as this is I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt me to think of what I went through and all that time you were telling me how great she was. You let her hang all over you around me, and yet you say now that you loved me through all that time. None of that makes any sense to me John. When I really stop and think about everything that happened, I can’t help but question your love for me.”
‘Oh no, she’s going to call off the engagement, NO this can’t be happening, not now after all this time. I opened my heart completely to her again and now she’s going to crush it because of what I did’. He spoke to her with fear in his voice, “Marlena I love you so much and I thought we had made it past all these doubts when you accepted my proposal. Just a few minutes ago you said how happy I have made you. I don’t understand this!”
She didn’t want to break his heart, but she couldn’t lie to herself either. The lingering doubts kept resurfacing often enough that she knew she couldn’t marry him yet. “Oh, John I don’t want to break it off, but I think maybe we should put off the marriage plans for now. So much has happened and we need to take more time to work these issues out before taking that step.” As she spoke she thought how it must sound to him like she was letting him down easy.
That was exactly how he heard it. He believed she meant they wouldn’t marry at all, that this was just her way of cushioning the fall. John felt his heart shattering at the thought they would never live out those dreams they had shared and talked of so recently. “Oh Doc…you’re just trying to soften the blow aren’t you? If you truly wanted to marry me you wouldn’t hesitate. Marlena, I love you now more than I ever have. I have done everything I know to do and say to you to prove the depth and strength of my love. If it’s not good enough just tell me right here and right now because I can’t go on like this!”
She hated to hurt him now, when he had just lost custody of his son and he thought they were going to marry soon. “Oh, John I do love you, that hasn’t changed. It’s just….listening to you try to explain it to the kids reminded me there are so many questions about your decisions and I…can’t go through with a commitment to marry you when these doubts keep resurfacing.”
John believed he had his answer and it wasn’t what he hoped desperately to hear. Maybe he had hurt her too deeply and the damage could not be overcome. As he fought back the tears that had formed involuntarily and nodded his head, he said quietly, “I….think I’ll just go take a walk for a few minutes. I feel….a little confused right now. I’ll see you in a little while okay?” He had to get away from her quickly or he feared he would pull her into a crushing embrace, try to kiss her and make her change her mind out of passion for him. And he knew that would be wrong. She should make a calm, rational choice and he would not rob her of it, no matter how excruciatingly painful the prospect of losing her was to him.
After he walked off, she sat down near the children, who hadn’t completely missed the exchange, and though they didn’t hear much of the content, they could tell from facial expressions and occasional loud phrases that the conversation had not been pleasant. Brady turned to her and asked, “Mommy, when we ask questions about Kristen it always makes you and Daddy sad, we’re sorry.”
“Oh Brady, honey it isn’t your fault at all and you can ask questions any time you want. Your Daddy and I just have lots to talk about right now. Can you try to understand that?”
Brady nodded and then said, “I think so, but I don’t like to see you upset so much.” He paused as if unsure whether he should tell his next thought, “Some nights when I was supposed to be sleeping I heard Daddy say how much he loved you, he didn’t think you loved him anymore. He was sad when he said it Mommy, and he never seemed really happy except when you and Belle were with us. Sometimes when he thought nobody was watching, Daddy would look at your pictures and he always smiled at first and then he got a really sad look on his face. I want my Daddy to be happy again.”
Hearing Brady tell her about John’s feelings so innocently brought back the fact that she was not the only one hurt by what had happened. John was hurt as well and despite everything.. she could have told him somewhere along the line how she felt. She didn’t want to break off the relationship, she would have to work out the doubts with him by her side. “Brady thank you for telling me this, it helps me understand your Daddy a little better. You stay with Belle and I’ll be right back, okay?” She went to find John to reassure him of her love and desire to marry him.
He was only a short distance away sitting on the ground at the base of a large tree, deep in painful thought it appeared. He didn’t hear her approaching and didn’t take notice of her until she spoke, “John, I don’t want to break off our engagement. I know that I wasn’t the only one who was hurt by what Kristen did and I still love you very much. I’m sorry this keeps coming back to haunt us, but I want us to keep working it out together, okay?”
He felt a glimmer of hope returning, “Are you sure Marlena? I need to know because it hurts too much to keep coming back to this place. You know I would take all your pain on myself if I could, but I can’t and you need to decide if you can truly forgive me or not.” Near tears he whispered, “Either way I’ll understand, but I just can’t keep doing this, it’s killing me, Marlena.”
She knew he was right. It wasn’t fair to keep building him up and then dashing his hopes. He was giving all of himself to the relationship and though it was unintentional she was hurting him deeply. She had accepted his marriage proposal and in that moment had no doubts. “You are right, John I need to decide and I have. I said yes and on that day and most days since then I believed we would make it past all of the pain and doubts together. I still believe that, but sometimes the reminders are so painful and I find myself questioning your behavior and I’m back to wondering if we can make a life together after all these years apart and so many changes.”
This was better than he had expected earlier and yet there was still such uncertainty. “Doc, I know we’ve changed, and you say I’ve changed in ways you don’t understand, but I’m doing all I can to prove my love, my sincerity and commitment to your happiness. What else can I do to make you feel secure and allow you to forgive me completely and commit without reservation?”
“Nothing, John. You can’t do anything to change what happened and you have been wonderful since we reunited about showing me your love and you’ve been so romantic and sweet and I’ve loved this time. But…it doesn’t take away the pain your actions left with me. You are right when you say I need to decide once and for all if I can forgive you. I chose to do that and I plan to keep on working at it, but I can’t promise we won’t ever talk about this again. Forgiveness is something that has to be lived out one day at a time.”
He was feeling blamed all over again and her mixed messages had hurt him. “Marlena, I have been hurt by Kristen too, so….much and I have blamed myself repeatedly for what you suffered, but you keep telling me to let it go.. and then when these incidents happen you throw it back in my face again! I’m trying so…hard to give you what you need and want, but I’m so confused every time this happens.” He let some anger filter into his voice, “What do you want from me?”
It finally dawned on her exactly what she was doing. She had told him several times now that she had forgiven him and told him not to blame himself and then she would allow the pain to overwhelm her and put it all back on him. That wasn’t fair and she had to admit it to him. “John, I’m so sorry, you’re right I have been unfair to you. I have been giving you mixed messages and it isn’t right. I need to let this go just as much as you do or we will destroy the relationship completely and I really don’t want to do that. We’ve worked on this long enough, let’s both try to let go of the past and say goodbye to the pain and guilt, here and now, all right?”
Feeling an immense sense of relief flood through his entire body, he said, “Whew, I say yes to that idea. There is nothing I want more than to let the past go and focus on our future together. Doc, I love you so much and I truly believe we can have a wonderful life with each other if we can just get past this pain once and for all.” After they embraced and just stood holding each other for several minutes he asked her hopefully, “So, do you still want to spend the day playing with the kids and make a good start on that future with me, baby?”
John winked and flashed his most endearing grin and she could not refuse him, “Yes, by all means let’s try to have some fun for a change. Absolutely no painful topics will be discussed for the rest of the day, is it a deal?”
“Absolutely my dear, absolutely!” You won’t regret this Marlena. I promise, if you can let this all go I will NEVER let you down again. I will be there for you and the kids always, and I will love and cherish you every single day of our lives together.”
“You know what, I believe you. I love you, John and I’m sorry for all the confusing signals I’ve been sending. This has all been so very complicated, but I do love you and I AM going to marry you!”
He was in heaven with her love for him and he felt it in his soul this time, “Oh, Doc thank you so much, I can see in your eyes that you really mean it. I’m going to make you happy lady, just you wait and see how I’m going to spoil you!” He let some tears go and they were out of joy not sorrow.
She let hers spill out as well and replied, “Spoil away, my love. I won’t complain a bit.” She kissed him in a way that reassured him again and they walked arm in arm back over to the blanket where they were greeted by two smiling faces eager to go laugh and play some more.
It was 2:00Am and Marlena Evans woke up from dreaming about her realistically happy future with the man she loved and their two children. She reached out to touch John, but he wasn’t there in bed with her, which was strange because she had thought he was exhausted both emotionally and physically from the day with the kids, as well as their heated discussion. And of course because of losing custody of the newborn child that he had believed was his son. Marlena went looking for him and as she reached the balcony overlooking the living area of the Penthouse, she looked down to see him sleeping on the couch. He was clutching a picture of the baby to his chest and there was also a pad of paper resting on top of him. As she approached his sleeping form, she could see the streaks of the now dried out tears on his still slightly red cheeks.
“Oh, John I’m so sorry about it all, honey.” She said it quietly so as not to wake him, while she placed an afghan over his bare legs and pulled his robe back over his chest and up around his neck so he wouldn’t be cold. As she did so, the pad of paper dropped onto the floor. Marlena picked it up and began to read; it was a letter telling the baby of his love and his sorrow about having had to give him up. Marlena silently wept at the deep pain evident there, pain which he had not truly shared with her as yet. She noticed that even the paper he had used was crinkled as if it had been wet from tears that had obviously dropped from his eyes as he attempted to put his feelings into words.
To My Son,
I am writing this letter in hopes that one day you will read it
and know that I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you.
You had a Daddy that loved you and held you with joy from the
first second you breathed the air outside your mother’s womb. I have
no idea what your life is like now or how old you might be as you
are reading this letter, but I want you to know that I loved you with
my whole heart and soul for those first precious weeks of your life.
You meant the world to me and it broke my heart to learn that you
were not really my child.
Your mommy, she loved you very much too, but some evil
people coerced her into giving you up and I was made to believe
you were my biological son. When I found out the truth, I wanted
to go on raising you as my child because I loved you so much, but
I was not allowed to do that, and had to give you up. I am so sorry
about all that and I’m sure that your mommy has raised you with
lots of love and maybe you have a daddy in your life who loves you
too, I hope so for your sake. I just wanted you to know that you were
loved and welcomed into the world that very first day by two parents,
who though not together in love, were united in that moment. I will
always love you and think of you as my son, and I wish so much joy
and happiness for you in your life. I had so many dreams for our life
together and I’m sad not to have the chance to watch you grow into a
boy and then a man, but I will keep you in my heart always.
Goodbye my son,
John Black
Marlena was angry on John’s behalf and her own as well. They had suffered an inordinate amount of pain, much of it at the hands of that evil, twisted version of a family called Dimera. “How I wish I could take the pain of that loss away, John. And I’m sorry I’ve been giving you such confusing messages lately about my feelings, but I am sure now, John. We are meant to be together.. forever.”
She gently caressed his cheek and ran her fingers through his thick dark hair, watching his eyelids flicker. ‘He’s dreaming…. I hope it’s a happy one…’ she was saying to herself, when he began to cry out softly in his sleep. “No, please don’t take him from me. I didn’t know.. no.. he’s my son…don’t take him.” It broke her heart to hear the anguish in his voice and she was tempted to wake him, but decided it might be better if he finished the dream and then maybe he wouldn’t even remember it in the morning. Marlena went to get a blanket to cover him up more completely, and when she returned, he was waking up after having just finished that dream.
“Hey, Doc. I didn’t disturb you, did I? I was trying to be quiet.” After asking the question his mind took him back to the dream, the images which lingered there making the reality of his loss hit home quite powerfully, and he fell silent.
“No, you didn’t. I woke up and you weren’t there so I came looking for you and found you camped out down here. John….do you want to talk about it?” She knew his feelings about losing the baby were right there at the surface.
He closed his eyes for a moment, a soft sound of distress escaping almost against his will. Then he said rather forlornly, “Oh, I don’t know, Marlena. There’s nothing more to say..he wasn’t my son, he…isn’t my son and no amount of wishing can change that.” Despite his greatest efforts to hold back the tide of emotion, the tears suddenly came rushing to fill his eyes. “Oh, Doc how could she do it? So many lies that hurt us both and then to let me love a child who was never mine…. It hurts so much Doc! It feels like my heart was ripped out.”
Marlena just sat holding him and said encouragingly, “I know it feels like it will never get better, but it will John. And you have me and the children and lots of others who love you and who will help you heal.”
After a few minutes he felt a little uncomfortable with his vulnerability, noticing she had read the letter and he said while picking up the pad of paper, “I guess you think this is pretty dumb, huh…writing a letter he’ll probably never see. Maybe I should just forget about it.”
He started to crumple it up and she stopped him, with a hand to his forearm, saying, “No, John.. it’s not dumb at all. I think it’s incredibly sweet and loving of you to do that. Don’t throw it away. Maybe if you contact Susan’s attorney, she will agree to take it and then give it to him one day when he’s old enough to understand.”
“You really think so?” That’s what I was thinking of when I wrote it. I just wanted him to know I existed and that I will always treasure that precious time I had with him.” He stopped for a minute, looking at her and trying to keep his composure. Then he made sure she understood his perspective, saying, “Marlena I don’t want you to think I’ve forgotten that she hurt you too. It’s just this loss is still so fresh and it reminds me what a fool I’ve been and how much she hurt me with all her lies. I still don’t understand how I could have allowed it to happen. I spent more than a year living with and…caring about someone I never knew at all.”
Marlena wanted to tell him that it was okay, that she didn’t begrudge him anything, but she realized that he needed to finish processing his emotions about the whole ordeal, so she waited. John stood up for a moment, walked a few steps away from her and then spoke with a cross between a laugh and a cry, as he wiped a stray tear or two with the sleeve of his robe. “You know it’s actually kind of funny when you think about it. I mean.. here I was a cop….an international agent who made his living out of reading people for God’s sake, and I couldn’t see what she….” He raised his voice as he finished, his manner and tone full of self-loathing, “I couldn’t see what was happening….RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!” With each passing minute he was becoming more self-critical, walking around the room, almost willing her to join in the condemnation, “Marlena, you were right all along about it all being my own fault, I should have known. Come on Doc laugh at me, go ahead!! I know you’ve had to want to sometimes, it’s pretty damn funny isn’t it?” John was speaking from one of those late at night melancholy moods that had sometimes struck since the truth about Kristen’s lies had been revealed and he was questioning everything about himself again. When it was over, he had no more energy so he just plopped back down on the couch and sat holding his weary head, with the heels of his hands resting in his eye sockets.
Marlena had wondered a number of times how he could have lived with the woman and not known what she was really like, but laughing at him was the last thing she thought of doing at this point. She had decided for certain that she had forgiven John for his mistakes and she wanted to live out the rest of her life with him. She felt terrible that he was being so hard on himself again. Marlena spoke softly as she sat down and placed her slender arm over his shoulders, “No, John I don’t want to laugh at you, I want to cry with you for how much she hurt you, and me too. I’m so sorry for all of it and I know I said several times that you should have seen what was happening. But, John… we decided we were going to let it all go and concentrate on the love we share and on our future together. I still want to do that, but I can’t if you’re going to wallow in it again. I don’t want to play this, *Let’s blame John* game with you anymore because we both lose when we do.”
Contemplative for a moment or two, he was thinking, ‘Man, just when I finally agree with her she changes up on me!’ Then he nodded and agreed with her words, “Okay, you’re right, I guess we’ve both had enough of that, but it feels like all that has ever happened to us is to be hurt by deception, loss, and separation. When will it stop, Doc? When is it OUR turn to be happy?”
“John, it starts now and every day we love and cherish each other and the two beautiful children we have sleeping soundly upstairs. We are the ones that can make our lives happy now.”
Now he was angry and bitter and he said as he shook his head, “That’s only partly true, Marlena. We both know Kristen is angry as hell at me for leaving her and keeping her out of the custody battle, and she *hates* you. Stefano is still alive and thinking he can make you love him, and he still wants to kill me. They’ll never leave us alone! Dammit Doc! I wish I could strangle the two of them right now to be rid of their evil presence in our lives forever!”
He was getting that familiar expression of pure rage in his eyes and face, the look that had always frightened her. “John, I know that they aren’t out of our lives yet, but at least we’re back together, and soon maybe we’ll have the proof to put both of them in jail for a long time.”
John laughed harshly, “Yea, right.. Doc, we’ve thought that a dozen times before and they always manage to get away with their evil schemes. How many times has he kidnapped you and tried to kill me or worse? Every time we think we have him, he gets out of it with more maneuvering or the Bastard escapes. I swear sometimes I really believe the only way to end the madness is for me to kill him.”
She wanted to understand his anger, but hated it when he spoke of what amounted to murder….Touching his cheek to capture his attention, she was very directly, “John, I want you to stop this kind of talk. You know you will do nothing of the kind, no matter what he has done to us. You are not a cold-blooded killer. So, just stop torturing yourself with this and let’s try to enjoy whatever happiness we can find together. We’ll deal with whatever comes, taking it one day at a time, alright?”
He was resigned to the fact that she would never understand his rage, because she was too loving and good. He vowed to do whatever it took to protect himself and his family, including killing Stefano if it became necessary, but he would not talk of it with her anymore. With a sigh that indicated he was giving in, John said what she wanted to hear, “Alright, Doc I guess you’re right about us needing to enjoy our time together.” Taking her in his warm embrace, John said more sincerely, “There’s no sense in letting them spoil our reunion and the wedding plans we’ve made. I love you so much and I can’t wait for the day I get to call you Mrs. Black.,” he finished, caressing her face, then running his fingers gently through her hair.
She loved the sound of that kind of talk and wanted to continue to lighten the mood, “Oh, me too! John. How about we get in a little practice on our wedding night festivities, now that you mention it?”
‘Boy, she changes gears almost as quickly as I do,’ he said to himself just before making a positive reply, “That sounds wonderful Marlena, I’ll get some wine and join you upstairs in just a minute.” As he went to head for the kitchen, she unexpectedly planted a firm and fiery kiss on his lips, during which he found himself becoming swiftly aroused. Her kiss was so enticing, his tongue making such magic inside his mouth that John quickly forgot where he was headed before going upstairs to be with her. “Umm…oh Doc I…whew that’s so nice.”
Then he started to pull her robe off of her shoulders and began to kiss the exposed warm flesh; she moaned with desire, his kisses were so enticing, his touch so stimulating, “Oh, John…I..don’t think we’re going to make it upstairs at this rate.”
He couldn’t care less at the moment for he was quickly becoming lost in his desire for her, “Um hmm…yea whatever you say, Marlena…” He kept on kissing her and touching all her favorite pleasure spots… and pretty soon she didn’t care either. Then he eased her down to the floor and they immersed themselves in their everlasting love and passion for each other. Their lovemaking was a glorious shared experience born of a deep and selfless love, a new firm commitment, and a desire to please.
Kristen was burning with anger at John, herself, Marlena, Susan and the whole world. She had not only lost John and the baby, she had been fooled out of her own sick desire to have John and take him back again from Marlena. She had fallen for all of John’s lines in recent weeks because she was so invested in coming out the victor that it had clouded her judgement. She realized after thinking about it that John had needed help to pull off his little charade and Vivian’s name came instantly to mind. She must have changed allegiances and helped him keep Kristen occupied and distracted, while he fought for custody of their child. Kristen took some sick satisfaction in the fact that he had lost to Susan and he was hurting. She did have some love for the baby even though she had been so caught up in covering her tracks she didn’t have time to appreciate him. “Well, John you will be very sorry you did this to me and so will you Viv! Stefano will not be pleased to know you double-crossed me.” She picked up the phone and began to rant and rave about what had happened and he stopped listening after a few minutes.
Stefano waited until she had sufficiently calmed down to speak to her. “Kristen, listen to me.. you must calm down if you want me to help you with your plans. You will never be successful if you allow your anger to control you. You must master it and then take it out on your enemies. That is the key, Kristen… to why we Dimera’s never lose. John is not able to do that very often, his anger consumes him where I am concerned and I have learned to use it against him.”
She realized he was right and tried to do as he said, and as she did she admitted that her problem was she still wanted John for herself in spite of everything that had happened and the anger she held toward him. She somehow believed in her twisted mind that if she could just get him away from Marlena forever he would rediscover his love for her and they could be happy together. So, she said, “Father, I have an idea that might work for both of us. Why don’t we take them both to one of your secret hideouts and then we will both have what we want. We can separate them and use those high tech monitors… and then you can use Marlena’s *love*” She said it so sarcastically, “..for John to gain her compliance with your wishes. And I can use his…feelings…” She still couldn’t admit he loved Marlena more than her and always had) “..for her to get him to do what I want. We both win and get exactly what we want. What do you think?”
Stefano liked the way her mind was beginning to work. John never gave up looking whenever Stefano took Marlena and he would always have to be on guard about the man and his rescue efforts. But, if they were both captives he would not have to be concerned. John was the only one who ever came close to challenging him, none of the man’s friends or any sanctioned legal authority were persistent or diligent enough to find them both once Stefano had them, so he agreed. “Kristen I think you are exactly right. I won’t have to look over my shoulder, wondering when John will come along and interfere with my plans. You will have what you want and I will finally have my Queen. I will make her mine forever. Eventually we can separate them even further, once they are resigned to their captivity. Kristen, we must make them believe that neither of us is concerned with the other of them. Marlena must believe I might harm John and vice versa. Can you do that? Can you make him believe you might hurt Marlena, even if it would anger me greatly?”
“Well, with the drugs and one of those devices like the one from Paris you can make him do, say, or believe almost anything right?”
“Kristen are you really prepared to brainwash John to have him?”
She hesitated a little and said, “Well, I did it in Paris and it didn’t seem to hurt him. He still doesn’t even know about that. Yes, I am prepared to do anything I have to in order to make him love me again, even brainwashing. Stefano can we brainwash him into believing it’s me he loves and only me? And if so, will he eventually love me on his own?”
“Kristen, do you really want to force him to be with you? What value is there in that?”
“Oh, stop being so high and mighty. It’s not much different than deceiving him, helping you take her, faking the pregnancy, or any of the rest of it. I just did whatever I had to do to keep the man I loved and I’m going to continue to do so. And it certainly isn’t any different than you kidnapping her and locking her in a cage Stefano!”
He thought about and decided she was partly right, so he didn’t argue further and said, “Well, you might be right. In answer to your question, yes we can possibly make him believe that and you know you can make him…be with you if you use the device on him, especially if we use some chemical persuasion as well.” Even Stefano was sickened at this thought. She was prepared essentially to rape John now, when he no longer loved her. She wanted to force him to be with her again and hope he would eventually love her of his own accord. Stefano would never force himself on Marlena by brainwashing or any other method, that much he knew. He was not above using John’s suffering to gain her compliance, but he would stop at that.
“When do you think we should take them? on the wedding day itself, or before that?” Kristen asked, snapping him out of his disapproving thoughts.
The evil man considered the question for several minutes before answering, “I think we should take them separately on the night before the wedding if we can. And then the backup plan would be to make the attempt just after the wedding when they are at the airport by having our people take over the plane just before they arrive. That’s assuming they plan on flying to their honeymoon destination. Once we know that for certain, then we could come up with another alternative if necessary.”
Kristen smiled wickedly and said, “They will have no idea what’s coming. I’m going to make it appear as though I am so devastated by losing him and the baby that I have no will to fight for him. They will buy it completely, or at least John will and maybe… he’ll even feel sorry for me.”
“I wouldn’t count on that, Kristen. You may have fooled John before, but Marlena is another story, and she will keep close tabs on you. He won’t be fooled so easily with her by his side.”
“Gee, thanks for being so encouraging, Stefano. Listen, I know he is a different person with her and he will be very guarded with me, but he must have some feelings left for me. He loved me very much at one time.. it can happen again.”
“Just don’t get your hopes up too high. He is with Marlena now and it will take next to a miracle to ever get him to move away from her in any real sense. We both know how deep that love is and we should not underestimate the strength of their bond if we are to be successful with our plans.”
Reluctantly she agreed, “You’re right, but you don’t have to rub it in do you? They don’t have some supernatural powers or anything and we can take them fairly easily if we plan it well. Then once we have them they will be at our mercy. I *will* make John love me again, Stefano!” Kristen finished emphatically.
“Okay, Kristen I can see how determined you are. Yes, it will be as easy as it ever was though they will be watching closely and John will have stepped up all security measures. That has never stopped me in the past, but he’ll try. Oh, how I delight in the battle with him. He will never best me because he has too much decency and goodness to do what is necessary to stop me, but he doesn’t recognize that fact. John will never quit and he will never win.” Stefano’s face bore a wicked smile, as he laughed at his opponent’s weakness, the very quality that made others admire the man.
Kristen had missed much of her father’s comments, as she imagined having sex with John again. Then she shifted gears and suddenly said, “Wait a minute, why don’t we take one of the kids and then lure them to find us? I know that will work, Stefano. You should have seen John when I took Brady for a little day trip a few weeks back. He was completely beside himself with worry.”
Stefano spent a few minutes thinking and then said, “No, that is just too messy and I want to be able to move them quickly and easily with no crying children around to cause delays.”
“Alright, Father you have done this all before so many times. If you say no then I’ll go along. But, we can distract them in the mean time by making them think we might take the kids.”
“Good thinking, Kristen! I see you really have become a true Dimera now and it pleases me. We will make a great team you and I.”
For a split second she regretted the idea of having to go so far, but dismissed it quickly. Winning John from Marlena was an all consuming obsession for her now and she would never give it up, even though she was angry at him for betraying her with the custody situation. She still loved him in her way and vowed to go as far as necessary. “I will make you mine again, John, body and soul. You will resist at first, but in time you will see we were meant for each other.” She was slipping further away from her tenuous grasp on reality with each passing day. Kristen actually believed she could win him back through the use of force.
Marlena and John spent the night making tender passionate love and in between times talked more about their love and the wedding they were planning. John had briefly mentioned the security measures he, Abe, and Bo were working on to keep Stefano and/or Kristen from interfering with their special day. Mostly they focused on the place and all the arrangements and Marlena was beaming as she spoke of it all. John was pleased to see her smiling so happily. There had been entirely too much sadness in her eyes and face for the past year and it still upset him to know he had played a large part in the cause of it. He continued to remind himself every day that they were together of his commitment to bring her only happiness from now on.
As they woke up slowly and she began to talk of wedding plans again he said, “Marlena, I’m really glad you’re enjoying all the plans for the wedding and mostly that you are really sure about it now. I love you so much and I promise to fill our lives with joy and laughter, always. I won’t let you down, Doc.”
“I know you won’t, John and I am deliriously happy to be planning our wedding. I want you to know I am completely sure, no more doubts. I promise I won’t give you any more confusing signals.”
He absorbed her words into his soul. “Marlena, it feels so…good to hear you say that. This whole time since we’ve been back together has been wonderful, but I don’t mind telling you now.. I’ve felt so insecure most of the time. Every reminder set us back seriously and it scared me. I honestly didn’t know if we were going to survive it as a couple and I thought we might lose the friendship too and that…scared the daylights out of me.”
“I have felt the exact same way, John. Every time we seemed to deepen the relationship a painful reminder pulled the rug out from under us. I was afraid of losing everything. But, John I am completely sure of your love and my own feelings now. There is nothing that can stop me from walking down that aisle to you on our wedding day!”
“Doc, I promise you there won’t be one day you will regret your decision. I will never hurt you or let you down again. I will cherish, respect and honor you always, just like the vows say.” Then he winked seductively and added, “And if you want me to…I’ll make love to you like I did last night, every day of our life together.”
“Oh, well then that settles it. Let’s don’t delay another minute, let’s get hitched baby!” She smiled sensually and then took his mouth and pulled it to hers and kissed him to get him started again, remembering how much he once enjoyed morning lovemaking. He moaned quietly and responded powerfully to her moves.
John quickly began to take off her nightgown and kissed her sweetly and sensuously as he caressed the warm bare skin underneath it. She responded to his soft touch with love sounds of her own. “Oooh…John… that feels so good, honey.” She communicated the desire to get his shorts off and she began to repay the gentle but stimulating touches he was giving her.
Then she began to love him with her tongue, and he quivered with each contact on his skin, and as she moved lower he lost himself in the sensation. The entire world disappeared and he was at her mercy; she knew it and brought him to levels of desire that were unimaginable to him before. He moaned and writhed under her kisses and touch as she raked her fingernails over his heated flesh. “Oh…Marlena.. oh… baby.. please…”
Seeing and hearing his response aroused her greatly and she kissed him tantalizingly to fuel their passion as she continued her magic movements down below. He started to roll over onto her and she stopped him, communicating that she wanted to be the one to give pleasure this time and be in control, and he let her, lying flat on the bed while she took him somewhere he had never been as John Black. “Oh Doc!”
Marlena found herself flushed with overwhelming desire for him as well, and even though she was giving of herself to him she was reaching a peak in response to his reaction to what she was doing to him. “Oh…John, I love you so..” She felt united with him body and soul and they reached a shared pleasure as he had just enough control to touch her and kiss her in ways that brought her quickly to the same place he was.
When they reached that blessed peak of intimacy, they slumped onto the bed exhausted in the glorious way only lovers can be. “Whoa!” John’s breathing was still very ragged and his heart felt like it could have burst out of his chest. His body was still trembling as he spoke, “That was…incredible, Marlena. You do things to me I couldn’t even imagine if I wanted to.”
“Ditto!” She whispered it softly as she nestled into the little pocket made by the spot where his shoulder met his collarbone and snuggled up close. He held her like that for a long while and they just basked in the afterglow of the magic they only made with each other. “So….John, did you miss me?” She giggled as she asked the question.
He had to laugh as he answered, “You could say that, yea” He paused and then he was serious, “Oh, but Doc…that doesn’t even begin to describe what it was like to be near you sometimes when we weren’t together any more. I thought I would die from the pain of losing you, of not being able to make love to you ever again and sometimes…” He didn’t know if he should admit it to her now, but they had promised total honesty. “..sometimes, I wished I could.”
“Well, if this true confession time…I must admit I felt that way too sometimes.”
That surprised him. He had known she loved and desired him greatly, but he always thought he was the one who didn’t seem to have much, if any control over it. She had always, except on two, maybe three occasions seemed to be the voice of reason to his intense and unbridled desire for her. He never suspected it was quite as difficult in that sense for her to be apart as it was for him, but she was telling him now that he was wrong. “Doc, I had no idea it was that painful for you too. I always thought it was me who couldn’t keep it together, who was out of control with desire. You sure hid it a lot better than I did.”
“Well, just think what would have happened if we both dealt with it the way you did!”
“Good point.” As he said it he flashed on an image of both of them pursuing each other with what had amounted to reckless abandon. He didn’t want to rehash it any further and revive any old guilt feelings about the affair, so he quickly changed the subject. “So, Doc…what else do you want to do today besides… drive me crazy with that incredibly sexy body of yours?” he said, nuzzling on her neck.
This time, she wriggled out from under him, realizing there quite a few wedding details that needed attention too… “Hmm, I’m not sure. I have a fitting at 10:00 and lunch at noon with Maggie and Laura. Then there’s the meeting with the caterer’s and after that….”
He smiled… it was wonderful to see her so excited and happy about their plans. “Okay, I catch your drift, time with me today isn’t on the schedule. I guess I really should get Brady and myself fitted for Monkey sui….I mean…tuxedo’s, shouldn’t I?” He loved teasing her because she always reacted so nicely when he didn’t seem to be treating things seriously.
She wagged a finger at him and teasingly admonished him, “Watch it mister, this is very important stuff we’re talking about you know? This is the last time I am EVER going to do this and the first time I get to marry John Black and I want it to be perfect right down to the…monkey suits you and our wonderful son wear in the ceremony.”
“Message received loud and clear, oh great wedding planner and soon to be main squeeze. Wait…you already are my main squeeze. I should say soon to be wife.”
She flashed him one of those smiles that reduced him to mush, “Wife..I do so much like the sound of that. I’ll miss you today, but planning our wedding is the next best thing to being with you, baby.”
“So, I better get the guys together, get them fitted and order those perfect tux’s for you, huh?. I’ll buzz Abe and Bo at the Cop Shop and then we’ll have my part taken care of, right?” he asked hopefully.
“Nope, you’re not getting off that easily. I want this to be a shared undertaking and I have a list of things I’d like for you to handle if you’re up to it.”
“Well, I’ve got the honeymoon covered and our first night alone…Oooh my favorite kind of undertaking. I’m going to take you down so nicely too.” He moved in swiftly for a powerful kiss that made her swoon.
“Sounds….heavenly. How far off did I say I wanted this wedding to be. Today sounds pretty good about now.”
“You wanted to do it up right, Doc and you deserve it, so just enjoy it and we’ll have a lifetime of wonderful passion-filled nights and…mornings, and..afternoons.” He was kissing various spots on her body as he finished the sentence, pleased with her responses.
“Yes we will won’t we? How I love the sound of that. A lifetime of love is ahead for us and nothing and nobody is ever going to come between us again, right?”
“Right!” He was enthusiastic for her benefit, but he knew that Stefano and Kristen would never really leave them alone. Things had been fairly quiet for a couple of weeks after Kristen stopped her ranting and raving when she lost custody of the baby. Stefano was nowhere to be found and the wedding was in a few weeks. Their conspicuous silence meant they probably had something planned for on or near that day. He was worried about Marlena and the kids constantly even though they were all being watched on a 24 hour basis at this point. Nothing short of living in Fort Knox was good enough as far as John was concerned.
Dimera had so often managed to penetrate even a fool-proof plan. Yea, right.. like the one last summer..it wasn’t fool-proofed against you..you idiot!! He still couldn’t believe he had trusted Kristen so completely and so wrongly. He had to squelch that overwhelming sense of guilt and sorrow he felt when he remembered the golden cage in which the madman had kept Marlena prisoner…‘ Because I was stupid enough to believe in Kristen!’ He shook his head trying to clear it of that haunting vision, but wasn’t quite successful.
Marlena was watching him and saw the wheels turning. “John, what’s going on up there, what are you thinking?”
John didn’t want to tell her all of it so he tried to distract her by kissing her and saying, “Oh…just about how glad I am that I finally came to my senses and confessed my love to you, Marlena.”
“Nice try, John but I know that’s not what you were thinking. I’m glad you did too, now why don’t you tell me what you were really thinking about?”
Darn she’s good at this! “Okay, Doc I was just..planning how to keep you and the kids safe. I’ve made so many mistakes before and you’ve been hurt by them and I…hate that!” Climbing off the bed, he stepped a few feet away, images from the past haunting him, as he voiced his concerns, “Marlena, I love you so much and I can’t keep you safe…no matter what I’ve tried to do it hasn’t been good enough. It has to be good enough this time, it just has too!!” he added with more intensity than he realized.
She stood up to face him, willing him to quit berating himself for things that were beyond his control, “John, if you’re blaming yourself for last summer all over again I want you to stop. We’ve been over and over this, it wasn’t your fault. I knew she had lied about the letter and other things, but I wouldn’t have believed she would go that far, and you had no way of knowing at that time how much like Stefano she was becoming, because I didn’t tell you. Now, please stop torturing yourself about this, John. It’s killing you!”
He sighed and gazed at her in amazement, feeling a sense of gratitude for her love and belief in him when so much of the time he didn’t feel worthy of it. Caressing her cheek tenderly, he said, “Doc, I am so.. thankful that you still love me and believe in me because sometimes….well, I know I don’t deserve it, but there you are by my side. I love you so much, Marlena.”
“And I love you so much, John.”
She had hoped he was beginning to move past all these doubts about himself, but his fear for her safety had obviously brought it all back again. He was still beating himself up for not seeing what Kristen was doing behind his back to hurt her and plot with Stefano. Marlena wondered now if he would ever truly forgive himself, even as she had finally been able to do, since their last major discussion about it in the park a couple of weeks ago.
Marlena wanted to bring him out of his funk and she kissed him again, fiercely, so that he could think of nothing else for the moment. Once she had his attention, she began doing other things with her hands and mouth to keep it. She was quite successful, and soon John was once again consumed with passion for the incredibly beautiful woman, whom he still couldn’t quite believe, loved and wanted to marry him. All thoughts other than their love and the feeling of their bodies intertwined, floated right out of his mind. It was precisely what she had intended.
he wedding was drawing near and all members of the soon to be Black family were getting excited. John was trying to focus on his happiness about marrying Marlena, but was watching them all like a hawk and Marlena didn’t miss his intense protective gaze and stance no matter where they went. He didn’t take his eyes off her and there were always several men watching them all as well. He was not taking any chances this time. Every single person who came in contact with the children and Marlena was thoroughly checked out by John himself. He promised himself that he would keep them all safe, in spite of Stefano’s successes in the past. ‘Not this time Old Man. Doc is not going to be out of my sight, you won’t take her again, not ever!!’ He was desperately trying to convince himself he could do it, but there was a fleeting doubt in the back of his mind, a familiar voice that said, “I can come for her any time, John and there is nothing you can do to stop me, my enemy.” Stefano’s haunting voice and laugh followed him everywhere and he was becoming a little paranoid about the whole thing. ‘Some paranoia is a good thing’ he told himself, especially where Stefano is concerned.
‘John is getting to be a bit of a nuisance with all this security,‘ thought Marlena, but this IS Stefano and Kristen we’re talking about. Kristen seemed to be keeping a very low profile and the word was she was completely devastated since the baby was taken away from her. Regardless, Marlena was quite suspicious of the woman and so was John. Neither really believed that she was the helpless, hopeless, sniveling woman she appeared to be. They concluded she was acting that way and in reality was working with Stefano to cause them trouble around the time of the wedding. The closer the day came the more nervous Marlena felt and the more protective John got. He was with her for almost every waking moment and when he wasn’t, there were several hand-picked men watching her. She was escorted everywhere she went and it seemed to be overkill, and yet it was strangely comforting to have them there with her and she was very glad to have the children so well protected. Marlena would never put it past Kristen to try to take one of them as she had done with Brady just to scare John right after he left her, though of course they couldn’t prove anything.
Kristen had been so vindictive sounding the day the baby was taken from the house by its mother, Susan Banks. She had wanted revenge pure and simple that day. John had hurt her and paid back her deception with a little of her own medicine, and she was livid to have been fooled by him.
Ever since that day John had been second-guessing whether that had been a wise move. He now believed the witch and her father would never leave him alone, nor Marlena either, not until someone died. He was…afraid of what they might do next and he sometimes wondered whether Kristen was sick enough to directly try and kill Marlena , but he couldn’t bring himself to share that fear with the woman he loved. He didn’t want to scare her, and he still felt so guilty about having been responsible for her previous suffering at Kristen’s hand. The combination of fear and guilt fueled his paranoia, and even innocuous events were interpreted as threatening ones; he had upset more than a few mail carriers and deliverymen. Each time it happened, John would apologize profusely, but it didn’t always help. He was starting to fly off the handle too quickly; living on edge with fear for his family a constant companion, was taking it’s toll on him. And one day when he scared the paperboy Marlena had seen enough to convince her they all needed a day away from everything, from the wedding plans, the security arrangements, all of it. She planned a day for them at a nearby water park with slides and wave machines, etc. The kids were thrilled, but John immediately thought of the logistics of protecting them against anything Stefano might try there.
“I have to go check in with Abe about all of this, Marlena. I need to see if there any concrete leads on the man and check in with him on the arrangements for our wedding day. I’ll ask him what he thinks about this waterpark idea while I’m there, alright?”
“Okay, John but the kids need to do something fun with us. All this tension is starting to effect them too, and I’m definitely worried about you. You’ve come close to hitting a few delivery men lately and you scared the daylights out of the paperboy this morning; you’re so consumed with protecting us that you’re losing perspective, John. You have to relax a little and trust the people you’ve hired.” She knew what his argument would be as soon as she said it; they’d had this same basic conversation several times a month since reuniting.
John was shaking his head as he replied with vehemence, not willing to let down his guard for even a second, “Marlena, the last time I trusted someone was Kristen and I thought I could trust her with your life, but I was completely wrong about that. I will NEVER make that mistake again! I promise you that much. Doc, I will die before I ever let anything happen to you because of my mistaken faith in someone else. So, I am doing absolutely everything myself and re-checking it all to keep you safe and it WILL be good enough this time.”
“John, I understand why you are so concerned, but you have to allow yourself to trust somebody again. You can’t go through the rest of your life without ever letting go of this experience. John if you let this betrayal control your life, you only give her that much more power over you. Can’t you see what it’s doing to you, John, it’s killing you.” She was following him as he got dressed for the day, but he wouldn’t look at her…
“Maybe so, but at least you will be kept safe and that is all that matters to me, Doc. You and the kids are everything to me. I won’t let something happen to you because of my stupidity, not ever again!!” He gave her a peck on the cheek and then swiftly left the room, rushing down the steps and out the door, planning to see Abe Carver about the progress of his security arrangements.
She had tried so many times to break through this somewhat bitter wall he had built around his heart. He only let Marlena, the children, and a few close family and friends know anything about himself or what he was thinking, because he was afraid, though he would never admit it. It was clear that John was leery of trusting again and being wrong, and especially concerned about Marlena or one the kids being hurt as a result of his misplaced faith or loyalty.
His fiance realized that the experience with Kristen had scarred him deeply, and she didn’t think he would ever truly forgive himself or get over it completely. ‘I hate you Kristen for what you’ve done to us, to the man I love!’ Marlena was afraid that John’s difficulty in trusting people would soon interfere in their relationships with others. He did not want anyone new to become involved in their lives, while Marlena met new people all the time and enjoyed the excitement of new faces and new ideas. John was completely closed off and had no interest in new friendships ever since he learned about all of Kristen’s lies. He confided only in those he had known for many years and with whom he had a history of trust and commitment. It was as if he couldn’t allow himself the risk anymore; Kristen’s betrayal of them was too painful for him to be willing to try again.
From his perspective it was difficult to admit, but it was true, John didn’t trust his own judgement anymore and it was tearing him up inside, though he tried to deny it. He tried to convince himself it was only to protect his loved ones, but it was about himself as well. He didn’t think he could ever allow himself to trust someone with complete certainty except Marlena, Abe, and a few of the Brady’s. He believed in his heart that he would never take anyone at face value again, and he felt robbed. He hated to be so cynical, so suspicious of people, but that was the legacy Kristen had left him. John believed in her completely, blindly and he vowed he would never be hurt or betrayed like that again, so he closed off his heart, except with those closest to him. It was sometimes difficult to open back up after being around others with whom he felt the need to be guarded. Believing that struggle would always be there, he accepted it as his fate for the mistakes he had made.
Marlena decided she needed to talk to some others about this little problem and she went over to the Pub to see Shawn and Caroline and found other friends there as well. Caroline could see the concern in her face as soon as she entered the Pub. She made eye contact and then waved Marlena over to the bar, saying pleasantly, “Hello, soon to be Mrs. Black, how are all of you holding up these days?”
Marlena sighed as she sat down on the barstool with such weariness, her voice matching that tenor, “Oh,…Caroline, it’s all getting to be a bit too much sometimes, all this security, every detail of our lives picked apart to make sure nobody comes near who could possibly mean us harm. Caroline, John’s getting to be a bit.. paranoid about it all.”
She nodded her head and agreed, “I’ve noticed that. He never seems to relax any more. He is always looking around, and over his shoulder especially when he’s with you and the children. He even gives Shawn and I the third degree about any little playmates the kids have over when we’re watching them.”
Nodding, she shared her relief, “So, it’s not just me, then. I had wondered. Caroline, I’m starting to be concerned because he’s.. consumed with keeping us safe from Stefano. John won’t even trust the people he hand-picked to protect us. He can’t let it go….what Kristen did and he still blames himself for what happened last summer. He’s closed himself off from everyone but the closest of friends and family because of her betrayal.”
Caroline nodded again, “Yes, I ‘ve seen that too. He won’t even talk politely to strangers much when he’s here. Marlena, he tries to hide it and he definitely won’t talk about it, but sometimes…he still seems so….hurt. What do you think?”
“Caroline, John… doesn’t let me see that because when we first reconciled we…had these arguments where he apologized and I thought I had forgiven him and then a painful reminder would come along, and I’d throw all the blame back at him for what I went through. Ever since then he has tried to hide his pain from me. I know he’s still hurting though because every once in awhile I hear him praying about it late at night, trying to understand how he could have been so…blind to her lies and how she could have hurt him so much when she said she loved him.”
“Do you think he’ll ever get past it and begin to trust people again?”
She shook her head and replied uncertainly, “I really don’t know, but for his sake as well as mine and the kids, I hope so. It will cause problems for all of us if he doesn’t because I refuse to go through life afraid to take risks emotionally, missing out on some wonderful new friendships, all because I might get hurt. John can do that in his own life if he chooses, but he can’t make that choice for me, or the children. Once this crisis with Stefano and Kristen is over and we prove that Kristen had something to do with Laura’s disappearance, John and I will have to sit down and talk it out.”
“I don’t envy you all that. John will probably always be somewhat overprotective of you, Marlena, and the children too, after everything that has happened in your lives to hurt you both.”
“I know that and I understand, but I don’t want the children to grow up living in fear, afraid to trust people because their father is always interrogating them about their friends, eyeing every new face with suspicion. They deserve better than that, and I intend to see they have the chance at keeping their innocence for a little while anyway.”
A short time later, in walked Kristen Blake and Marlena felt her blood run cold at the mere sight of her. This woman had caused so much pain to her and to John and after just talking about what it had done to his ability to be open and trust, she felt even more anger about it. She had also hurt Laura, Jack, Jennifer and Abby. They couldn’t prove the part about Laura’s disappearance just yet, but they would as soon as a good lead on Peter’s status could be found and followed up on. Soon they would be able to put Kristen in jail; she didn’t even know that Laura’s memory had come back in full. Marlena had hypnotized Laura again on a day when she stopped taking the medication and the whole story came out. Abe wanted to keep it quiet because he and John thought that maybe they could take down all three remaining Dimera’s if they played it right. They planned to bait Peter by having it made widely known that Jennifer had given up on Jack, and then pull Kristen in by making it seem as if Laura went off the deep end, psychologically speaking.
They wanted both Stefano and Kristen to think that they were in the clear about Laura’s memories for the moment. The timing for all of it had to be perfect. The next step was to set up a situation in which a lookalike of Marlena was in a prime position for the Old Man to abduct, with a series of contrived errors in her protection. It would appear that she was vulnerable and John would seem to be unavailable to come to her aide. Stefano would not be able to resist the opportunity to try taking her, even if the time window were brief. He thrived on the danger and the excitement of the hunt and chase games he played for so long with John Black. If everything went according to plan it would all come to an end soon.
Marlena stayed at the Pub for quite awhile that day watching Kristen’s every move while she talked with Caroline, Shawn, Carrie and others. Kristen kept her distance and then hesitantly approached, saying some strange things to Marlena when she was alone for a moment. “Hello, Marlena…I see you are planning to marry John soon. I want…to wish you….luck.” She smiled wickedly and added, “You’re certainly going to need it… I hope you both stay healthy and whole until then. You never know what can happen, do you? I mean accidents happen all the time…but you aren’t worried with all that security you have around you. Nothing could penetrate that or….could it? She turned to go and then added with a strange cross between a smile and a grimace, “Give all my best to John, won’t you?”
It made her physically ill to see this woman, but to have her make threats this way was too much. Marlena stood up from the barstool where she had been sitting and faced the witch directly, firing back at her, “Kristen, why don’t you come right out and say what you mean? You and that so-called father of yours are going to try something soon. We’re not blind to your schemes anymore. John is not going to let anything happen to us, so why don’t you just cut your losses and give it up?”
Again Kristen smirked, “Losses….right. You think you have taken him back from me forever don’t you? Well, I will make him love ME again! When I have him back, he will learn to love me again and he will forget all about you Doc!” She turned to go, but Marlena grabbed her wrist to restrain her; she wasn’t finished.
Marlena’s voice was strong and confidant, “Kristen, he’ll never come back to you! Don’t you know that by now? Kristen, look at the ring on my finger!” She flashed the stone in front of her rival’s face to make the point. “John loves ME and he always did. He was only with you because he didn’t know I still loved him and we both regret not being honest about that. But, in spite of all your lies and manipulation we found our way back together again. He’s MINE, now and forever, and there’s nothing you can do about it!”
Kristen’s eyes burned with rage and she said with venom, as she yanked her arm away, “No! you’re wrong, Doc! I have ways of making him love me again and there’s nothing YOU can do about that. Once he is under my influence again he will be mine, body and soul. Wasn’t that the phrase you like to use, Marlena? We’ll see who’s the victor when this is over, and it’s a long way from over!” She started to leave and then turned back once more and said cryptically, “Do you remember Paris? …some strange things happened there, didn’t they? Things that could happen again if….” She stopped and covered her hand with her mouth finishing with, “Oh, I’ve said too much. Ta Ta!”
Marlena was left with only questions as Kristen walked away from her and out the door to the street. What in the hell was that all about? What ways, what things in Paris? Oh Kristen what is going on in that demented mind of yours and how can you possibly think you can make John love you again?
Carrie came up behind her and asked, “What was that all about Marlena? Did I hear her say she can make John love her again? What kind of a dream world is she living in?” she asked as she stood shaking her head about it.
Marlena was still thinking about it and said, “I don’t know, but she just made some very strange comments, threats about accidents and things from Paris happening again. I have no idea what she meant, but I intend to find out. She truly believes she can make him love her again and I somehow feel like she meant…force him to love her and that….scares me Carrie.” She shuddered at the thought of John being subject to some bizarre procedure that would make him love the other woman…
“How could she do that?” She had an unbelieving expression on her face as she asked, “You don’t mean….brainwashing or something like that do you?”
Marlena shook her head in disbelief and yet, “I don’t know what to think, but she said she had ways of making him love her and things like.. when he is under her influence again.. What would you make of that?”
Carrie was incredulous, “I don’t know but if….she may be more evil than anyone knew. Do you think she did something like that to him before, or is it something Stefano recently came up with to help her win him back from you?”
Marlena was quiet and thoughtful as she remembered the events from almost a year ago now. “Paris, strange things in Paris…things that could happen again.. Carrie do you remember that day when I told you John kissed me and he seemed a little confused and not quite awake or aware of what was happening?”
“Yes, I had hoped he would tell you he still loved you soon, but..”
“I did too, and now I know he wanted to, but she kept lying and manipulating him by using the…fake, stressful pregnancy. Carrie, he also said he had some strange dreams, but he never really told me the details about them. And then Abe and Lexie said they saw him one night and he seemed disoriented and didn’t hear them when they called out to him at first.” I wonder if… No, she couldn’t have…
Marlena’s mind was spinning, trying desperately not to conclude what was swiftly becoming obvious to her. She believed she knew what Kristen meant and the thought of it terrified her. “Carrie, I think…. maybe…she brainwashed John in Paris. That has to be it, Carrie!” Marlena continued to figure it out as she walked around the entrance area of the Pub and talked. “She…wanted to give him a child, to have a way to…keep him.. She had to get pregnant quickly, but the doctor said for them to abstain from…..Oh my God!!” She gasped covered he mouth with her hands, feeling suddenly sick to her stomach as her mind leapt to a hideous conclusion. Kristen had somehow brainwashed John into having sex with her without his knowledge, in order to get pregnant again, so that he would not discover that she miscarried their child in the hospital.
Carrie hadn’t followed the whole train of thought and she was a step behind her. “What? Marlena, what is it?”
She didn’t get an answer as Marlena ran to the bathroom, then vomited the contents of her stomach, completely mortified at just how evil Kristen Dimera had become.
Carrie was stunned and didn’t move immediately, but then followed to see if the woman she loved as a mother were alright. “Marlena!” She entered to find Marlena washing her face and crying violently. “Marlena, please tell me what it is you think happened!”
She could hardly speak through the tears; it was so horrifying to think about. “Carrie…I….think she..Kristen..she brainwashed John to have…sex with her in Paris so she could get pregnant again, and then when it didn’t happen, Stefano found Susan for her. That’s what she meant by strange things that could happen again. She would try to *make* him love her again by…brainwashing him. Oh…oh my God, she is SO….sick, Carrie!”
Carrie was horrified as well and speechless for a long moment. “Marlena, how… how could she ever say she loved him and do that? I don’t understand this! And John, he doesn’t even know. Are you…going to..tell him?”
She started to cry again and Carrie put her arms around her in a gesture of comfort. Marlena answered her with such anguish in her voice, “Oh Carrie, I…don’t know what to do! She just threatened us both and then as much as told me her plan to win him back.” She shivered with terror and shook her head, feeling there was no way to spare him yet more pain resulting from his ill-fated relationship with Kristen. “John has to know, but this….it will tear him apart to think she could do that to him, with everything else she did to us both.”
John was meeting with Abe who was trying to get his friend to relax and trust the people he hired just as Marlena had tried to do earlier. John was finally getting the point. “Okay, so I’m a little paranoid about it all, but can you blame me partner? I mean after everything the Dimera’s have done to me, Doc and so many others?”
“No, I don’t blame you for being protective and worried about your family’s safety, but John, Marlena is right about one thing. You can’t go through the rest of your life and not ever trust anyone. Somehow you have to find it within yourself to try again, John.”
Abe and Marlena were wanting him to face something he wasn’t ready to admit to even himself and it made him angry. “I…trust people. I trust you, Doc..the Brady’s..I trust people…I do!” He said it in a way that demonstrated he was trying to convince himself as much as Abe.
His friend could see he wasn’t really ready to face the truth about what he was doing, but a good friend shouldn’t be afraid to confront a serious issue and handle the anger that might result from it. “John, that’s exactly my point. You are closed off to anyone new..you’re only allowing yourself to be open with people you’ve known for several years. That’s why you’re re-checking the security arrangements every five minutes. You can’t let yourself trust even the people you hand-picked to protect you. And, I don’t ever see you really talk to anyone except those you just mentioned.”
“I do too! I talk to….the..waitresses at the Pub and the mailman and the pa….the meter maid downstairs there.” He was going to say the paperboy, but then Marlena might have mentioned the little incident.
“Nice try, John. I heard about the paperboy thing..you kind a flew off the handle at him didn’t you? Another example of being a little…suspicious shall we say?”
“Look, I admit I’m extra…worried right now with the wedding coming up so soon, but it doesn’t mean I never trust anyone. Now can we get off this subject please?”
“John, you know I care about you very much and I can see that the whole.. experience with Kristen really…messed with your head, but you can’t let it keep you from meeting new people, making new friendships…. from trusting people again.”
Now, he was angry, this was too personal and definitely too close to home for him to deal with. He was afraid to risk again and he just couldn’t face that fear and admit it so he blew off steam about it at his friend. “Dammit, Abe I said get off it!! I don’t want to talk about this now! I’m outta here!” He stood up and stormed out of the office.
Abe sat there looking at the closed door and thought about his friend for a minute longer. ‘Oh, John you just can’t face it can you? You’re afraid of getting hurt again, of being betrayed so you figure if you don’t open up and trust anyone again you can protect yourself. I hope you can get past this soon or it will make life very difficult for you, Marlena and the kids.‘ Then he decided there was nothing more he could do for the moment so he went back to the stack of paperwork on his desk.
After storming out of the police department, John eventually ended up down on the Pier to cool off and was pleasantly surprised to find Marlena there. He loved seeing her any time, and being with her meant he didn’t have to think of what Abe had confronted him about. It was just the two of them and several discreet security people who were there. John smiled, feeling a special warmth wash over him as he approached her. She had her back to him and didn’t hear him until he was only a step or two away from her. When she smelled his cologne, she quickly put a hand to her face and from the way she was standing he wondered if she had been crying for some reason. He put a hand to her shoulder and then added the other to turn her gently toward him, seeing instantly that she was indeed crying.
“Doc, what is it honey? Why are you so upset?” he asked with characteristic tenderness.
“Oh, John!” she cried. Marlena didn’t want to tell him, but she couldn’t think of anything else at the moment to explain why she was so distressed.
“Come on, baby you know there’s nothing you can’t tell me.” He was very concerned for her, she seemed very distraught and he wanted to help her with whatever it was. His hands delicately cupping her face, he asked again, “Please tell me, maybe I can help.”
“Oh…honey…this is…going to be so…hard to say… I think we should go home to discuss it. It’s about you…and Kristen..”
‘No, she can’t be telling me the marriage is off, we have been through all this a thousand times.’ With a hint of fear in his voice he said somewhat hesitantly, “Doc, please don’t tell me you’re going to call off the wedding. Please.. I.. couldn’t take that now.”
Marlena felt bad for not being more careful about how she indicated what she might want to tell him. Taking his hands and looking him square in the eyes, so that he could see the truth of her statement, she reassured him, “Oh, no John that’s not it at all, don’t ever worry about that again. I love you very much and I can’t wait to marry you. This is…something else entirely, but it’s…not going to be…easy to hear. So, please let’s go home and then we can talk, alright?”
He breathed a relieved sigh, put his arm around her and they walked up the stairs together. “Okay, Doc whatever you say, let’s go on home.” He couldn’t help but wonder what it was she had to say about Kristen that she couldn’t tell him right there on the Pier, but he respected her judgement completely, so he didn’t press her for more information.
Marlena and John rode home in the Jeep and Marlena tried to make small talk, but John could tell her heart wasn’t in it. “Doc, it’s okay, we don’t have to talk at all until we get home. It’s obvious something has you really shaken up. I can wait to discuss it.”
She was going over the thought process that had led her to her conclusion about the meaning of Kristen’s message earlier and kept coming to the same one. Kristen had stooped to Stefano’s evil methods to keep John bound to her and had as much as told Marlena she was prepared to do it again to win him back. Just the suggestion of it made her ill, and it was all she could do to keep herself from vomiting again as she thought of how it would make John feel to learn the depth of her deception. Oh, John how am I going to tell you what she did, what she threatened to do again? She is so..evil! I wish I could…..Stop it Marlena, there’s no point in that line of thinking. She leaned back in the seat and rehearsed again the words she might use to tell him what Kristen had intimated to her at the Pub.
John looked over at Marlena and was worried for her. She was clearly very distraught about whatever it was she wanted them to talk about at home. What could it be that’s got her so upset? something about me…and Kristen and it’s not about my….blindness to her schemes again..Oh, well no sense in guessing John. He reached down and turned on the radio for a distraction and it happened to play a song that fit the situation and Marlena burst into tears as she listened to the lyrics and it stabbed him in the heart as well. John stopped the vehicle at her tears; this couldn’t wait any longer and he couldn’t concentrate to drive as he listened longer:….
Some love is just a lie of the mind
It’s make believe until it’s only a matter of time
And some might have learned to adjust
But then it never was a matter of trust…..
I’m sure you’re aware love, we’ve both had our share of
Believing too long when the whole situation was wrong
Some love is just a lie of the soul
A constant battle for the ultimate state of control
After you’ve heard lie upon lie….
There can hardly be a question of why
Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
But that can’t happen to us….
Cause it’s always been a matter of trust
“Marlena, this song…it’s…Oh..dammit!” How could I have ever trusted her? He turned it off violently as the words penetrated and he was taken back to a painful place in his heart and mind. They were both silent, thinking of all the pain. He waited for a moment and then asked her, “Doc, what is it that has you so…upset? Have I done something else to hurt you because if I have…I…”
She had to tell him, if only so he would stop blaming himself. “No, John you didn’t do anything to upset me. I’m crying for…you, about something I just learned…and it’s going to hurt you when I tell you. The song just made it harder. I have been trying to figure out a way to make it easier and I just can’t…John!”
“Marlena, what is it, honey? We can handle anything together, that’s what you’ve been telling me, isn’t it?” He was worried for her, but she said it was about him and would hurt him. “Please, tell me Doc!”
“Oh, honey…it’s what Kristen did to you.” She noticed they had stopped near a roadside rest and suggested they go just a little further and then talk so they wouldn’t be cooped up in a car. He would want some time, some space she guessed. He reluctantly agreed.
As they pulled to a stop again he looked at her anxiously and asked as they got out, “Okay, Doc I can’t wait any longer, what is it?”
“John, Kristen….she..did something to you…when we were in Paris..Oh, I better start over.” She took his hand and guided him over to a secluded bench and when they sat down, she tried again, “I went to the Pub to talk to Caroline and Kristen showed up. We had….words and she said she was going to take you back from me and I tried to convince her to give it up and then she said some very strange things that got me wondering. Of course that is exactly what she wanted me to do. She wanted me to figure it out.”
He was confused completely. “Figure what out, Marlena? What are you talking about?”
“John, do you remember the dreams you had when you were there, and that day you kissed me? And, one night Lexie and Abe saw you out walking and called to you..and you didn’t hear them at first..”
John was trying to follow her, but had no idea why she had brought it up and where she was leading. “Doc, why are you bringing all this up, and what is it you’re trying so hard not to tell me?” She was quiet for a minute and he did remember the kiss.. “You know that kiss was… well I don’t really remember…how did it happen?”
They hadn’t really talked about it. “Well, I came in and you were still wearing your robe. I started to ask you to breakfast and you came up to me with a sweet dreamy look on your face and then you…kissed me.” She remembered it vividly, “It was wonderful, but then Kristen came back in…and you seemed really confused. “Later, you didn’t really remember it and I thought you must have been half-asleep, so I let it go.”
“Doc, that was so long ago, not that it wasn’t nice, but why now? Why are you asking about it?”
“Because, John I know why it happened and why you seemed so confused about it all and why you had the dreams too. John..it was Kristen, she….she wanted to get pregnant right away after the miscarriage and so she…..used Stefano’s methods.” She hated to tell him, but he had to know it because the….sick witch had threatened them both. He would want to know that.
Marlena turned away for a moment and took a deep breath, trying to summon the courage to say the words. She turned back to face him and asked rhetorically, “Oh, how can I say this?” She decided to just do it, he was already anxious about it. “Kristen hinted that there were strange things that happened in Paris and she said she would *make* you love her again when you were under her influence once more. John, I believe she…brainwashed you….to….have sex with her. She did it to try to get pregnant after she miscarried and the doctor had already told you to abstain because of the *fragile* pregnancy.” Seeing the look of horror cross his face she said, “I’m so…sorry, John.”
The words she said were out there and no amount of wishing could make them disappear; it was as if time stopped in that instant. John was in total shock, disbelief and horror came quickly together in his heart and mind. He had slept with Kristen without his knowledge and then he had been with her, loved her, trusted her and pledged his life to her and a baby that wasn’t ever his…He let out a soft horrified groan and shuddered visibly then said, “Ohhh…my God! I…loved someone who was capable of doing that? How? Doc, how could I have ever cared for her, if she could do such a thing to me and call what she felt…love?”
He shook his head and walked away from her, desperately wanting to escape this reality and go back in time to that split second before he knew the depths to which Kristen had sunk to keep her hold on him. “Oh my God…I..can’t believe this!” John looked at Marlena with bitter agony in his face, “Doc, I….loved her..once. This is so….sick! I just don’t understand how she could do that. All this time….I never….knew!”
John was silent for a minute as he stood a few feet away from her, staring absently at the green grass all around him, and then he started to talk again with a cross between a cry and a laugh. “You want to hear something funny? Marlena…those dreams were of me and you…together and they were so vivid. I wanted you so…badly and I felt….guilty about it because I thought I was betraying…Her! And instead she was….Oh, Doc!” Marlena came to him and just held him and said, “John, I’m sorry you had to find out, but..”
Then he remembered that Marlena had indicated the woman planned to do it again, to try and win him back from Marlena. Anger overcame the sorrow in the blink of an eye, “And, she said she would try it again? You mean to tell me that….Bitch actually thinks she is going to get anywhere near me again. She is positively certifiable Doc! She won’t ever…touch me..or hurt anyone I care about ever again!”
“John, I think that’s what she was trying to tell us, she and Stefano… they’re going to try something before the wedding. She talked about accidents, things like that. I didn’t want to tell you all of this, I’m so…terribly sorry to have had to do it.”
He blew out a long breath, ran his hands absently through his thick dark hair and turned his head away for another minute, trying to maintain some semblance of composure. “Marlena, I want to take you and the kids somewhere, as far away from her, from Salem as possible. I want you to be safe, Doc.”
“No, John. I’m not going to let them control our lives any more. We are going to have this wedding and live out our lives here in Salem, Dimera’s or no Dimera’s!” She was adamant about this and no amount of cajoling, pleading, or playing on her fears was going to change her mind. What Kristen had revealed left her frightened and enraged at the woman and upset with herself, and she wanted John to know it, but she also wasn’t going to give them power over her and run from them. “John, this is partly my responsibility. If I had told you what I knew she never could have done that to you. I shouldn’t have let her manipulate me that way, baby or not. I’m so very sorry, John.”
“No, don’t even say that, you had no way of knowing she was capable of this. But, about protecting you, Doc…she hates you! And she took Brady that day…you know I never told you what she said to him. She said that they could play hide and seek sometime at some big mansions and nobody would ever find them. She threatened me through that innocent little boy, Marlena! And now this..she’s capable of anything as evil as Stefano ever did to us.” He was becoming self-critical again and he talked anxiously of his concerns, “If anything ever happened to you or the kids, Doc…can’t you see? It’s my fault, all of it. I should have known better than to get myself involved with her after I knew who raised her, but somehow I convinced myself she was different. What a damm mess I’ve made of everything!! I’m so sorry for all of it, Marlena.”
“Are you finished beating yourself up yet because if you’re not, I still have some more time here.” She walked around him and stood directly in front of him with arms folded and said, “Go ahead, John what else are you going to blame yourself for? You know, the ozone layer is eroding, you want to take that one on? Oh, yea and there’s the federal deficit, world hunger, flooding in the west and….” She kept going until he started to laugh at how ridiculous it all sounded.
Finally he was chuckling with her and he said, “Okay, Doc I get the point. It’s a waste of time and energy to keep blaming myself for things I can’t control or change. Alright, I quit. Now then, what are we going to do about this…situation we..somehow find ourselves in?”
She smiled and reached for his hand, saying, “Well, first… we’re going to have the biggest, most wonderful wedding this town has ever seen and then the most romantic honeymoon trip ever planned! That’s what we’re going to do, John.”
“You, my soon to be wife are amazing and I love you so very much that there aren’t words to describe how I feel for you, baby.” He took her in his arms and kissed her with extreme passion. “Now, that is a preview of coming attractions, Doctor Evans!”
“Ooooh, can we please have some more..previews? I always liked the previews!” Then she waited for him to kiss her again and she was not disappointed, “Mmmh, yea…so much better than the ones I remember as a child.”
They kissed and touched and talked for awhile longer, until the tension had faded and John seemed to be able to put what Kristen had done into perspective. It still troubled him deeply, but it wasn’t quite as devastating as when he first learned the truth.
The wedding was only a week away and the closer it got, the more consumed John was with keeping everyone safe. The whole issue was becoming a boiling point between he and intended bride. Planning a wedding is stressful enough without the added pressures this couple faced. Marlena couldn’t forget the image of John marrying Susan in the delivery room, and John couldn’t stop thinking about how Stefano had managed to get to Marlena so many times when he thought he had the perfect security arrangement.
Tempers were ready to flare one morning, as John was insistent about Marlena not ever being alone at the Penthouse or at work, or anywhere else for that matter. Frankly, she was tired of the intrusion in her life and told him so, “John, I don’t want to live like this any more! I want some privacy, can’t you understand that?”
He tried to be calm, but he was so afraid if he made just one little slip up she would be taken again, and he didn’t think he could survive it again. “Yes, Marlena I can, but your safety and the kids as well is more important to me than anything else. I….can’t let anything happen to you again. Please put up with it until Abe and I are able to pull off this plan with the decoy.” He tried to hold her, but she shifted slightly and pulled away.
She was trying to understand his fear and his desire to protect them all, but he was obsessed with every detail of her day, where she would be, who she was seeing and she just couldn’t take it anymore. “No, John this is too much! You are totally consumed with this and you don’t even trust the people you hired to protect me!”
He started to protest and she stopped him, “Don’t even try to deny it, John. You don’t think I’ve seen you almost every day at the hospital? You manufacture reasons to be there and then even when you aren’t supposed to be, I’ve seen you there trying to keep out of sight near my office.”
“Doc, I…..trust them. I just want to be near you because I love you so much and I miss you when we’re apart for any length of time.” He winked at her in an attempt to lighten the mood and distract her a little, but she wasn’t buying it.
She had to get him to recognize the reality of what he was doing. “John, answer a couple of questions for me. When was the last time you really trusted someone to protect me or the kids, without checking on us every five minutes? When was the last time you spent more than an hour not dealing with some aspect of the security arrangements?”
John was caught off guard and he didn’t have a ready answer so he avoided her gaze and said, “Uh…I’m not sure….last week! You went to lunch with Laura, Lexie, Maggie, and Alice don’t you remember? I didn’t bother you about it at all and I had lunch with….” His voice trailed off as he recalled that it wasn’t a good example after all, and he knew what she’d say about it.
“Abe, you had lunch with Abe and you were talking about the security and keeping an eye on me from across the way at the mall, am I right?”
He couldn’t deny it so he responded reluctantly, “Yea….it was Abe and yes we were at Johnny Angels while you were in the restaurant. So sue me, I am an overprotective fiance, but with good reason, Doc.”
“John, I know you’re concerned and rightfully so, but this is becoming a real problem for you. You have to let yourself trust people again. I know that what Kristen did hurt you deeply, but you can’t let it control your life, John. You need to begin to let it go and trust your own judgement too.” She could see his temper rising as she spoke, hitting a still raw nerve.
“Man, you and Abe just won’t let up on this thing about trusting people. I do trust people. I just….worry about you and the kids a lot with Stefano and Kristen plotting in the background and the wedding coming so soon.”
He was still lying to himself and Marlena so much wanted to help him face the truth. “You just can’t see it, can you? You have not had a meaningful conversation with anyone but me, Abe, the Brady’s and a few of the Horton’s since the truth about Kristen was revealed. You give Shawn and Caroline the third degree if there is a new playmate or any stranger anywhere near the kids, and you have hardly let me out of your sight since we got back together. Now, tell me again that you haven’t closed yourself off. Even Shawn and Caroline have told me they try to get you to open up about the baby and what Kristen did and you avoid the subject at any cost. John, they know you’re hurting and they want to help.”
John felt the anger and frustration surge again. “I’m sorry if I’m not meeting your expectations, Marlena. But, you know it isn’t exactly easy to talk about how easily fooled I was, how she faked a pregnancy and made me believe another woman’s child was mine, how she hurt you and helped Stefano right in front of my eyes. You think I like talking about all that? I hate it, Doc!”
He had his jeans on and rapidly finished dressing, and there was an awkward silence as she waited to see if he would be honest for once. As he finished putting his boots on, he looked up at her and said, “Alright, if you must know, yes it still hurts like hell that I was such a fool for her! I hate myself for it and I always will. What she did has left this…big hole inside, losing John, Jr. is killing me and…I will never be able to take someone at their word again, that’s what she did to me!!” His pain was finally pushing itself to the surface again and he let her see it briefly before anger replaced it again.
“I know it hurts you, honey and so do all the people who love you, they want to be there for you, John, but if you don’t let yourself open up to people and learn to trust again, it will eat at you for the rest of your life. Do you really want to give her that much power over you?”
John had reached his limit. “Dammit, I don’t want to keep talking about this! I will decide who I trust and when. I’m doing fine with the relationships I already have and I don’t need anyone else, so just leave me alone! If you want me to stop hanging around so much, I will. I have to go now, I’ll see you later!” He stood up abruptly, left the room and quickly descended the stairs, heading toward the front door without giving her a kiss, something he hadn’t done once since they reunited.
“John, wait please.” She called after him from the balcony and he stopped briefly before going out the door and turned back to look at her, but didn’t say anything. He left her standing there, wondering what would happen next. The past couple of weeks were so filled with tension; ever since she told him about the brainwashing he had been even more withdrawn emotionally from her and all their friends. John was clearly struggling with the enormity of her deception anew since then, but he couldn’t let himself share his pain, especially with Marlena, because of those early arguments. She wanted to help him with it, but he had not brought it up even one time after the day she told him. However, once in awhile she would wake up to see him staring blankly out the window or hear him praying about it, trying to understand what had happened.
‘Oh, John I almost wish I hadn’t told you about the brainwashing, but…you might have had memory flashes and that would have been even more difficult to handle. She prayed out loud, “Lord, please help him find a way to get past this and begin to let people in again, to let them help him, and to trust again. Please help him see that I’m not blaming him anymore and he can share his pain with me like I have done with him.”
John had listened and comforted her many times when she awakened from dreams filled with fear of being taken again. He let her tell him how much Kristen had hurt her and he continued to demonstrate his deep sorrow for his part in her suffering. But, whenever she tried to get him to reciprocate, he always did something to change the subject or deny he was still hurt by Kristen’s betrayal. It was strange because every time he did that, both John and Marlena recognized that he was lying to himself, and Marlena as well. He just couldn’t get past the sense of blame he felt from her at first, so he kept his pain locked away as much as possible. Every attempt to discuss it lately ended in an argument like this one, leaving Marlena feeling discouraged and sad for the man she loved. She wanted to help him heal, but all he seemed to do was react with anger, which came from his own self-reproach for being fooled and deceived so completely by someone he cared about. John just couldn’t handle letting himself feel too much, and he used the anger for much needed energy to fight off the sadness that held his heart hostage. Marlena hoped he would eventually break down again like he’d done the night after he lost custody of John, Jr. If he did, she would be there for him as she had been that night.
John left the house in a rush, and almost immediately felt bad for arguing again with his fiance, whom he loved so intensely he could hardly breathe without her. Marlena had struck a still raw nerve and he knew he couldn’t go on lying to her or himself any longer. He was wounded and running scared ever since Kristen had so thoroughly deceived him, and he was holding back in every relationship, even with Marlena. The truth was, he didn’t think he would ever trust anyone in the same way again, and it hurt him to acknowledge that aspect of his new reality. He hated being suspicious of people and skeptical all the time, but he couldn’t get past having been fooled so easily.
‘Damm you Kristen!’ John was still struggling with the newest revelation, that she had actually brainwashed him into having sex while they were in Paris, so she could get pregnant and hang onto him. It made him sick whenever the thought came to mind, and he still found it hard to believe she could have ever done something so…..deceptive and controlling and say it was motivated by love. John wanted to confront her about it, but was uncertain about what he would say and whether he could control his temper with her. She had hurt him so much and he was afraid he might do something stupid and…..‘No, John you know you would never hurt a woman, no matter what she did to you.’ He stood outside the Penthouse trying to banish all thoughts of Kristen from his mind, feeling incredibly thankful that Marlena had finally forgiven him and fortunate that they were on the verge of pledging their love to each other in front of all their friends and family.
He wanted to do something to try and make up for all the tension they were experiencing as their wedding day approached. So, even though they had originally decided to wait on this particular subject John took matters into his own hands and decided to surprise her. Actually, he had been working on the surprise for awhile, but he wasn’t sure it would be finished in time to give it to her before the wedding. Today, he went out to the site to check the progress and had just gotten off the phone with several different crews he had hired to go on around the clock so he could be sure it was finished. As he pulled up, he saw the men working fast and furiously and it brought a smile to his face as he imagined the expression on Marlena’s face when she saw his surprise. Oh, Doc I am sorry things have been so crazy for us and that I wasted so much time when we could have been together. “No more regrets, John just enjoy that you’re with her now and never let her down again,” he said to himself.
“Looks great guys! Thanks for working so hard for me. It is going to mean so much to my fiance to have this place ready before the wedding. She is going to be completely surprised and I appreciate all of you making the extra time. There will be a healthy bonus in your checks this week,” he finished smiling widely.
The foreman spoke for the whole gang, “Thank you very much Mr. Black. You have always treated us with respect and never demanded what you wouldn’t give yourself, so we’re happy to do it. Seeing that lovely lady of yours smile will make all this seem worthwhile. We’re glad we can make both of you happy. Right guys?”
A chorus of enthusiastic, “Right boss!” was heard and then they all went back to work on the finishing touches.
John looked around the place. Doc is gonna love this place and so are the kids. It was large, but definitely not a mansion, he had seen enough of those. This was a house that would turn into a warm inviting home filled with love and laughter. He pictured the kids laughing and playing in the spacious, already well equipped yard and Marlena and himself sitting on the deck and watching them, then joining in after awhile. John perused the grounds first and was satisfied with the progress there and then went inside the house. It had a grand entrance with a high ceiling and a curving staircase with a balcony overlooking the foyer. Just to the left of the entrance was a warm and inviting living room with a brick fireplace and John imagined them sitting there together talking and then making love. He lost himself in that vision for several minutes before moving on.
From there toward the back of the house, there was a large kitchen and breakfast nook, which went out to a large shaded deck that extended across the entire back of the house. The kitchen was designed for ease of movement and had an island cooktop stove and an eating bar that faced a window overlooking a large ravine with a lake in the distance. A smile graced his face as he thought of all the teasing arguments they would have there about her cooking. He still couldn’t figure on a tactful way to discuss hiring a cook, but he would keep working on it for the family’s benefit. Off the kitchen, was a very well planned and spacious laundry room, which could be completely closed off from view. Then toward the right side of the house was a large family room with a sliding door to close it off from the rest of the house when it was scattered with toys. Marlena would appreciate that for those surprise visitors. Then, moving toward the front again there was a formal dining room for those occasional formal dinner parties he would need to throw as he became more involved with his businesses again. He had not paid much attention to them and decided he needed more of a focus than he had during the past couple of years.
Moving toward the front of the house again, there were two offices: one for Marlena and one for John, each decorated appropriately with adjoining doors. Each was already equipped with telephone and answering machine, computer, printer, scanner, fax and copy machine. He was hoping that even if they both became very involved with their jobs they could spend significant time at home. Marlena might even be able to do evaluations and other documentation on computer and have it sent to her office computer by email or fax so that she could work at home sometimes. The rooms were adjoining so that when they took a break they could spend time together; he had even put a fireplace in one of them and a couch wide enough for two adults. He chuckled lightly as he imagined Marlena’s reaction to these little touches. ‘Well, you can’t fault a guy for being prepared’ he thought. Then he was back at the front entrance and he was more than satisfied with the work being done. It was less than a day away from being perfect and he planned to bring her to see it this day as he still felt bad about walking out on her when she asked him to wait. ‘I can’t wait to marry you, Doc!’ And then we’re going to have a wonderful honeymoon like you want…..and when we get back, we’ll start our new life together right here in this house which will soon be a home filled with joy and laughter.”
John ascended the stairs to check out the numerous bedrooms. Upstairs there were five large bedrooms and three full baths, one in the master suite. John looked through them, all of which were decorated appropriately for the intended occupants. Brady’s room had a cars and trucks theme with a little baseball thrown in for his Daddy’s benefit and wishful thinking. Belle’s was filled with various shades of pink and had a ballerina theme to it. The Master Bedroom had a distinct Marlena touch as he had consulted with several women who knew her well and yet it reflected his taste also. He hoped she would be pleased with his choices of wallpaper, paint and decor. The decorator was pleased and said he had good taste. In addition there was a small fireplace in the corner of the bedroom and there was a picture window nearby that looked out over that ravine in the back.
Their bathroom was equipped with double sinks and separate tub and shower. The tub was a large jacuzzi type and the stereo was wired in so they could have music playing while they bathed. The lights over the tub had a dimmer switch for those romantic baths together. He believed he thought of everything as he checked all the light switches, water faucets, and toilets to ensure everything was in working order before they moved their belongings there. After doing all that, he checked the new state of the art security system and called the dispatcher to test it out.
Satisfied that all was ready to go, he went back downstairs and exited onto the deck and out on the back lawn. All of the kids play equipment: the wooden sky tower/swingset and the Little Tikes plastic playhouse, merry-go-round and sandbox were set up and ready to be played on by his two little munchkins. He looked forward to the sound of their squeals of delight as they saw the playground in their own backyard. Before he knew it, it was time for him to head back and round up the family for the surprise.
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Marlena sat in her office reading files, but she couldn’t get the argument she and John had that morning out of her head. He finally admitted to her that he was still very hurt by what Kristen had done and that he would never be able to trust anyone in the same way again. Her heart went out to him; she understood his need to pull back and lick his wounds so to speak, but she was worried he would never open up completely to anyone, even those with whom he had a long history of trust and commitment. He seemed embarrassed still that Kristen was able to fool him so completely and he shied away from even those he loved. John, I do hope you can get past it someday or it will keep eating at you all your life. As she tried once more to shake it off and stop worrying about John, the phone rang and it was the love of her life calling to apologize.
“Doc, it’s me. Listen, I’m really sorry about walking out on you this morning. It was wrong and I’m sorry. Can you forgive me, baby?”
“John, I understand that you’re still hurting, but please don’t shut me out. That never works and you know it. Talk to me about what you’re going through alright?” She hoped he would soon open up to her about his pain.
“Okay, Marlena I will…try to let you know what’s happening with me. Now, there is another reason I called. Can you get the kids and bring them out to meet me at that park on 85, you know the one near the golf course?”
She was puzzled but said, “Yes, I’m sure I can, but why ?”
“Well….I just want to go someplace a little different. Will you do it in say an hour from now?” John was hoping she would just agree without further questioning.
Marlena guessed he was up to something by his tone of voice, but had no idea what it was and said, “Alright, I’ll see you near the playground in an hour.”
“Thanks, Doc. I’ll see you soon. I love you so much!”
“And I love you so much. I can’t wait to see you.”
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A short time later the small family joined up and they played for awhile at the park, that is as long as John could stand to keep his secret to himself. He finally said, “Okay, everybody pile into the Jeep and Daddy has a surprise for you!” He was so enthusiastic and it made Marlena feel better about their situation and the upcoming wedding. She hated the tension that was mounting the closer that day came. Before long, they pulled up in front of a gorgeous house and Marlena wondered what in the heck he could be up to her, and then in the next minute he swept her off her feet and carried her over the threshold, almost tripping over it.
“John, what in the world?” she was asking as he set her down. Then he spoke and answered her question.
“Welcome, home Marlena! Surprise!” John wore his most endearing grin and watched for her reaction.
She was positively stunned to realize that this lovely home was theirs. “Oh, John. How did you? When? I can’t believe you were working on this all this time. I am amazed and I love it, I love it!” She walked quickly around the downstairs saying phrases like, “This is so wonderful, oh that’s beautiful, John. It’s perfect, absolutely perfect! I love you so much!” She wore that dazzling smile she showed him when he pleased her like this.
“I guess that means you like my surprise. I’m so glad Marlena.” He swept her into his arms for a passionate embrace while they stood there in the kitchen. Then they looked up to see the kids giggling and having a good time with all the equipment John had set-up for them.
Pointing out to the children playing in the yard she said, “Looks like they’re happy too, John. I can hardly believe you did all of this. Whenever did you have the time to get this done?”
He winked and joked about something that until now had only caused stress and tension. He went behind her and laced his arms through hers and around her waist and put his head on her shoulder. “During all those one hour intervals when I wasn’t focused on the security arrangements. Speaking of which, I installed a state of the art high-tech security system, so we should be pretty safe here.”
Marlena returned his light laugh with a chuckle of her own. “Good, you can joke about it now. That’s a good sign, John.”
Stefano Dimera sat behind a large mahogany desk in yet another of his hideouts in a foreign country and went over the plans for about the hundredth time. He would wait until the night of the bachelor party and attempt to take both John and Marlena. They would be separated and slightly distracted and that was the best chance he would have to get what he wanted. He was possibly going to let Kristen have John if it all went smoothly, but if his enemy got in the way, he was dead. Nothing was more important than having Marlena once and for all and he was tiring of the hunt and chase games with John. It was time to end the war, and if he had the right opportunity this time John would die a painful lingering death just after admitting total defeat at the hands of a mastermind. That would be the fitting finale to their long battle. Kristen would get over it eventually and he would never have to worry about anyone coming for Marlena. No one else had ever came close to finding him or even challenging him in any way except John Black in the past few years. Roman Brady had given up on taking him down ever since the affair between John and Marlena was revealed, and now he was dead.
He called his daughter to check on the progress she had made on her end. “Kristen, it is time to cement our plans for the night of John’s bachelor party. Have you contacted the people and arranged for them to take care of making John… incapacitated?”
“Yes, father they are on the payroll and have already been scheduled to work that night. It should be no problem at all; John will never know what hit him and neither will anyone else. They have promised to just take him and not hurt him, but I want to hear it from your mouth. Promise me father, promise me you aren’t going to hurt him.”
“Not unless there is no other choice Kristen, but I will not let him interfere in my plans any more. Marlena is to be mine this time once and for all. If he causes trouble I cannot guarantee he won’t be hurt. I’m sorry, but that is the best I can do, Kristen.”
She didn’t like the sound of it, but thought she didn’t have any choice if she wanted to have him back. She hoped to convince John to let his feelings for Marlena go soon after taking him, with a little help from drugs and that clever little device she had used in Paris. “Alright, Stefano I guess that will have to be good enough for now. I’ll talk to you again soon and let you know if their plans change in any way.”
Kristen turned her thoughts to her *love.* “John, soon you will be mine again and you will forget all about your precious Doc. We will be together forever as we were meant to be.” She was staring at a picture of the two of them in a happy moment. “I won’t let Marlena interfere with my plans either father, and if I have to I’ll kill her to keep her away from John. “Soon he will be mine, all mine…forever Doc!” Kristen was living in a fantasy land where she truly believed she could make him love her just as her father was about Marlena. She thought that once she had him with her and brainwashed him, that eventually he would return her love of his own accord, forsaking Marlena. As time passed, her delusional state grew deeper and she justified all her actions in her mind as motivated by love for him, for his benefit as well as her own. In her twisted mind she was infinitely better for him than Marlena was or ever could be, even if he had to be coerced into being with her at the start of their new life far away from Salem.
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After hanging up with his adopted daughter, Stefano checked with the people at the security company he had recently paid off to give him the code to the Penthouse system. He also contacted the other people who were assigned to watch Marlena to see if John had backed off any since his big argument with Marlena about all the intense security which Stefano had been privy to due to the miracle of high-tech listening devices.
“No, Mr. Dimera. He has hardly backed off at all. Maybe a little at the hospital, but her office is still watched very closely and she is still never alone for more than a few minutes at a time. Black is being very thorough. I don’t see how we can get to her this time.”
“I have an idea that I want to try for this Friday, the night of the bachelor party. If I know John at all and I do, I’m willing to bet he won’t want to be apart from her very long that night, nor she from him. So, here’s what I want you to do for me. He proceeded to explain his plan and then the man said, “I’ll get right on it Mr. Dimera. I should be able to put something together within a day or so and show it to you over the computer. “
“Excellent, my friend. I’ll be looking forward to hearing from you soon.” The man smiled his most wicked smile for he knew the plans would come off without a hitch. And of course, Stefano knew about the plan to set him up with a Marlena lookalike, also through the miracle of modern technology. Therefore, Dimera planned to have some fun with John. I love to make him sweat, it warms my cold heart he thought. He will spend the next few days in an anxious frenzy trying to keep her safe and he’ll miss the details he should be so aware of right now. “Sorry, my pawn you lose again, forever this time. Ha ha!” Stefano said it as he fingered the chess piece of the same name, laughing heartily at the thought of John’s reaction to losing after spending virtually every waking moment of the past few months desperately trying to protect Marlena and the children from Stefano.
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Back at the Penthouse, Marlena, Maggie, Laura, Lexie, and Carrie are caught up in the wedding excitement and are talking all at once about various details of the ceremony, reception, food, flowers, etc. John, who is standing over in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee, smiles warmly as he watches and listens. Marlena wears a special glow from their love and marriage plans and he is content to stare at her and enjoy her happiness from afar. Suddenly, she senses him looking at her and looks up into his admiring face, she smiles that most dazzling smile she saves only for him and he feels tingly inside from its warmth. He mouths the words, “I love you,” and grins at her with glee, his eyes twinkling with love and laughter. She returns the unspoken words and then both realize that all eyes are upon them, and she blushes slightly. John says somewhat nervously, “Uh…hi ladies,” acknowledging their presence. Then he shares his assessment, cognizant that he has distracted her and the wedding plans might be delayed if he stays, “I see everything is coming along nicely here, so I think…I’ll just be going now.” He walks over, leans in and gives his love a quick but somewhat passionate kiss and whispers in her ear, “Maybe when you’re all finished here, we can…discuss and.. rehearse all the details of the wedding night.”
“Oh, I think that’s a very important part of the wedding plans and I would definitely like to go over it and over it and…” Her voice trailed off as she too realized that all of that would have to wait, for a little while anyway.
What a special moment…
Watching John step out the door, her heart ached to have him near. She could hardly wait to be alone with him again. Their love seemed to be deepening by the minute this past week or so, ever since he bought the house. It was as if that act of commitment to starting completely fresh in a place all their own had freed them from their troubled past. And John seemed to be getting past just a little of the paranoia of late, and letting go of some of his distrust for strangers.
As John left the Penthouse, the ladies turned to Marlena with knowing smiles and Laura said, “You two seem to be growing closer by the minute. It is so nice to see you both beaming with happiness after all the pain you’ve been through.” She gave her friend a hug and it felt wonderful.
“You’re right, we are closer than ever before and it feels glorious to me because there were so many times I thought we would never be together again. Planning this wedding is like a dream come true for both of us, and we want it to be perfect.”
Lexie chimed in, “It’s going to be perfect because you are finally going to walk down the aisle to the man you have loved and dreamed of marrying for a very long time. And we will all be there celebrating in your joy. Everything else is icing on the cake, so to speak.”
“You are so right, Lexie. I want to have a beautiful wedding, but the most important part of it is that we can finally stand in front of God and all our friends and family and pledge our eternal love to each other.”
Maggie added her thoughts as well, “You know Mickey and I always knew you two belonged together, but so many things seemed to be working against you and we wondered if it would ever happen for you. We’re so happy for you both, Marlena.” She leaned in to give her long time friend a big squeeze.
Carrie said, “Oh, I’m getting so excited about this. I have wanted you two together for almost as long as I wanted to be with Austin. It’s going to be wonderful being newlyweds together!” she said twisting the gold band on her left hand. “I can hardly believe we are all getting a chance to be happy. Even Sami and Lucas seem to be heading in that direction these days, especially since they found out Will was his child and not Austin’s. Bo and Hope are working things out too, it’s almost like after John left Kristen and we had the confrontation with Sami at the Pub after Dad died, the way for true love was paved. I think Dad would be happy for all of us if he were here.”
Marlena was touched at this beautiful young woman’s insights, and saw her ex-husband in his daughter’s loving eyes and sweet adoring face. She responded tearfully, “You know what Carrie girl, you’re right. Roman played a part in all of us finding happiness again. His death brought us all closer and helped us realize what is most important in life. And I think he would be glad for that.” She felt some sadness that she never was able to resolve things with him, but fondly remembered the letter he wrote her and said in her heart, “Thank you Roman for the gift you gave us. We will never forget you, my dear love.”
It was two days before the wedding and the Penthouse was a whirlwind of activity as the movers were there packing up all the couple’s belongings. Marlena was running around trying to make sure they didn’t pack up Belle’s little pink bunny or Brady’s favorite truck at the same time she was on and off the telephone with the caterer’s, the florist, and of course the man she loved.
“Sounds a little crazy around there, Doc, are you sure you don’t want me to come on home and help you out?” He said it in such as way as to indicate he meant help her out of her clothes. They had shared that joke earlier because Marlena decided they should be apart for a few days before the wedding to make the honeymoon a little more special and John was having difficulty staying away. “Are you sure about this being apart thing? You know I’m going out of my mind with worry and I miss you like crazy, Doc.”
She chuckled, “Then, this is good for you. It’s helping you learn to trust again. You have to believe in the people you hired to protect me and the kids and everything is going along just fine now isn’t it? Besides, I didn’t say you couldn’t see me during the day, you just can’t stay overnight with me until I have the ring on my finger and my name on the marriage license.”
“Oh, so that’s it you still don’t trust me to go through with it, I’m hurt Doc.” His voice was teasing, filled with mock offense.
“Well, no…not really. I just want to make sure the wedding night is very special, not just another night together and…”
He interrupted her with a confident statement about that special time together, “Trust me, Doc it won’t be just another night. I plan to make that night and our honeymoon an experience in being loved and adored that you won’t ever forget. I love you lady and I plan to show you in every way imaginable and then some.
“Sounds very promising, how about some more of those previews you gave earlier, baby?” She smiled as she thought of their honeymoon, just the two of them away from the stresses and strains of wedding plans and fears for their safety, all thoughts of Kristen and Stefano put far behind them.
“Well, if you can get rid of the movers, ask Carrie and Austin to babysit a little longer, and finish up all the phone calls, I think I can arrange something on my end.”
“Nope, too dangerous…we can’t be alone at the Penthouse or the loft before the wedding, remember? or the new house for that matter.”
“Oh, Doc you really are serious about this, aren’t you?” he asked sounding slightly discouraged. He whispered, his voice husky, not quite pleading, “I’m missing you, baby.”
“I’m missing you too, but John it’s only two days away. Can’t you hold out that long? I mean it will only be a total of five days…by the day of the wedding.”
He sighed, wishing she hadn’t pointed it out, “Yes, five loooong days without you next to me at night. I can’t wait, Doc until I can call you Mrs.Black, and we will never have to be apart again. I love you so much.”
“And I love you so much..honey. Oh, listen there is a call waiting, it might be the dressmaker about the final fitting this afternoon. I better take it, see you around 4:00
“But, Doc that’s four hours from now, I…oh never mind. I can tell you’re really busy with the wedding. I’ll go see Abraham and check on the details for that decoy plan we’ve got going for tonight. Are you all set with what we’re doing?”
“Yes, we’re going to make it look like we’re having a romantic dinner at the Grill. You will be with me first and then we make the switch in the restroom with the decoy and then you will be called away suddenly while I supposedly stay on and then leave alone with only one bodyguard to watch me.” Meanwhile, I will go downstairs in the Titan Boardrooms and wait for you and Abe’s people to sneak me out the delivery entrance down below.”
“Good, sounds like you have it all straight in your mind. Are you okay with this? It has to work perfectly or Stefano and his people will figure it out.” He was anxious about it, that much she could hear in his voice.”
She wanted to reassure him she was fine and make sure he was too, “Yes, I feel okay about it, what about you? You sound nervous, John. Are you that worried?”
He didn’t want to upset her, but Abe had told him earlier that there was word on the street that Dimera was ready to make his move soon. Rumor had it that he was very confident in his ability to snatch Marlena again, despite the tight security net around her and the whole family. “Well, I…just hope this works Marlena. I want him behind bars before our wedding. I don’t want anything to spoil it, especially scum like the Dimera’s.” As he finished his voice was touched with thinly veiled rage; he had tried to shield her of it lately, but couldn’t quite keep it in check this time. The closer it got to the wedding day, the more he became concerned Stefano Dimera would ruin things for them and he had sworn he wouldn’t let anything upset Marlena or spoil her day.
She sensed there was something he wasn’t telling her, “John, what else is there? I sense you know something and you aren’t telling me, what is it?”
Oh, she is so in tune with me lately it scares me. “No, there isn’t anything else, really. I’m hopeful this will all work out tonight and that madman will be in jail along with Peter and Kristen soon after, providing the other parts of the plan work too.”
Marlena felt him sidestep her again. “John, you can’t hide your worry from me. Please tell me what else about all this has you so concerned. I can handle it and we said no more secrets.”
He sighed and then answered, “Alright, Doc if you insist. Word on the street has it that Stefano is going to make his move soon and that he is very confidant of his ability to…..get to you, in spite of the tight ring of security around you. Rumors tell us he has an inside track on whatever we’re doing, so we don’t know if he’ll even go for the decoy at all.
There was fear in her voice and he had so wanted to insulate and keep that emotion from her. “Oh, no John! That can’t be, he has to try then; we have to arrest him tonight so we can have our wedding in peace and safety.” She felt it start to overwhelm her and was quiet; he was instantly concerned about her reaction which was why he hadn’t wanted tell her
“Doc, I’m going to keep you safe. I promise! Don’t worry, I won’t let him any where near you! Listen, this is exactly why we shouldn’t be apart at all right now. Let me stay there and sleep on the couch, please!” John prayed she would agree to his suggestion.
Marlena was truly frightened so she acquiesced. “Alright, John you can stay the night as long as you sleep on the couch. I…have to admit to being a little afraid…the thought of being…locked up again…Oh, John!!” She started to break down, as she unwillingly remembered the previous times, especially Stefano’s attempts to seduce her, to manipulate her into sleeping with him.
“Doc, stay there, I’m on my way to see you.” He was driving and was using his cell phone and he tried to get her to keep talking with him. She had recently had a few episodes of uncontrollable crying and then she seemed to withdraw into herself when she even thought of being taken again. “Doc, talk to me baby, I’m on my way over. I’ll be there in a few minutes….Doc!” She was just crying hard, not saying a word. He was speeding toward the Penthouse as quickly as he could allow the Jeep to carry him without being stopped by the police.
“Marlena, please honey stay with me, I’m coming right there!” She didn’t talk to him anymore, lost in her fears and memories of being imprisoned. Marlena had gone upstairs while talking to him and was in the bedroom with the door closed and locked. The movers were down in the kitchen packing everything there. “Doc!!” John was frantic with worry for her, as each episode seemed more intense than the one before and he had a difficult time bringing her out of wherever her mind took her. It scared him immensely and he had tried to get her to talk about it with Laura or someone else, but she refused. Since she was the psychiatrist he backed off and let her call the shots, but now he regretted that decision. “Oh, baby hang on. I’m coming as fast as I can. Hold on honey!”
John silently chastised himself for not taking action on her behalf. Damm, I should never have let her convince me that this wasn’t anything to be concerned about. She’s really having trouble with this whole thing, but she doesn’t want to admit it because she’s always so strong and self-sufficient. Well, you’ve been strong for me Doc, now it’s my turn to be there for you lady, and I promise I will always be there when you need me. I will never let you down again! He sent up a quick prayer for God to watch over the love of his life, “Oh, God please let her be okay!” John felt horrible about her experiences in captivity and knew he could have prevented at least one if he had only been aware of what was happening right before his eyes. This is all your fault John! If you had just seen what that witch was doing…Dammit!! If anything happens to her…. He felt the fear and rage at the Dimera’s building up again, and couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t kill if Marlena were traumatized, and he came face to face with one of them.
Marlena was lost in time and space, in a place where she faced endless captivity at the hands of Stefano Dimera. She felt overwhelming fear at the mere thought of his hand touching her even on the arm. His touch filled her with such disgust, especially if she happened to glance at his eyes which were filled with sick desire for her. Marlena’s greatest fear was to be locked up by that madman again and just hearing that he might not be captured and put in jail like John and Abe had planned was enough to send her into a deep emotional tailspin.
She cried out about her fears, “No, don’t let him take me away again! Don’t let him keep me from my children, Please!!” She tried to focus and bring herself out of the episode with rational self-talk, but it didn’t work and she felt herself drifting from the reality of her bedroom to the cage again. Then she had a combination of a memory and a vision of Stefano and his need to take her. It seemed he might force himself on her, but he had said he wanted her willingly, that he would never rape her. She wasn’t sure if she could believe him. “Please don’t let him do it to me. John save me!! Oh please come for me, John!”
As she was calling out for help, John arrived at the foot of the stairs and he heard her fearful anxious screams. “Hold on, Doc I’m coming, baby!” John raced up the stairs to her and tried to open the door, but it was locked. “Doc, open the door, honey. It’s John. Let me in and I’ll help you.” There was no response and he was extremely worried about her. He tried again, “Marlena, baby can you hear me, it’s John. I’m here!” Still there was no response, but he could hear her crying and asking Stefano not to touch her. “Damm you Dimera!! And Damm *you* John for not being there when she needed you, all those nights she spent alone!”
Fearful adrenaline flowed through his veins, he couldn’t wait any longer and so he took a step or two backwards, bent over and then put all his weight into a shoulder slam against the door, sending it flying off its hinges. He went down with the door and for a second he laid there before coming to his senses; he looked up to see her curled up in a ball in the corner of the room. Her eyes were wide with fear, her face was red and puffy from crying and she was trembling violently. John slowly got up from his prone position and almost crawled over to her, approaching her cautiously. When he was about two feet away he spoke to her softly; that had always worked before. “Marlena, honey… it’s John. I’m here with you now and there’s nothing to be afraid of, baby. Can you talk to me, Doc?”
She didn’t respond right away but then she said, “It’s Stefano, he’s coming for me again, isn’t he? He’s going to lock me away again and try to make me love him John, please keep me safe! I’m so…afraid!”
John felt such aching sadness for her fear and such bitter guilt for not doing a better job of protecting her, and then there was the rage he felt toward the bastard who put the fear into her heart and soul. “Oh, Doc… honey! I’m here and I won’t let him get to you, EVER again. I swear it, he’ll die before he comes near you again.” He tried to keep the anger from his voice, but couldn’t quite manage it. He kept it from his hands, however as he tentatively moved closer to her, asking for permission before touching her, “Honey, is it okay if I hold you?” He wanted her to feel some control over the situation, struggling as she was with that issue in regard to Stefano.
She could hear him, but she couldn’t quite pull herself out of the fearful vision. “Oh, John yes hold me, keep him away from me!” Her voice was filled with fear, her hazel eyes still wide with terror, “Please, don’t let him touch me! He wants to… oh, he tried to…don’t let him, please don’t let him…”
John pulled her close and stroked her hair, gently wiping her tears with his fingertips. He spoke softly and soothingly to calm her and bring her back to the present reality. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m here with you and I won’t let him touch you again.” He repeated similar phrases and continued to hold her until her breathing slowed to normal and her cries were only whimpering sobs. “He can’t hurt you, Doc… I’ve got you, baby.. you’re safe now..”
Finally she opened her eyes and he could see she was back with him, totally in the present, but she seemed confused about what had happened. “John? What…oh….” Marlena was quiet for a moment as she remembered. “I had another…episode, didn’t I?” She saw the answer in his eyes and then she covered her mouth with her hand and let out a little cry of anguish, “Ohh!”
“Yes,” he said even though she had seen it in his expression, “Marlena, this is starting to worry me, I want you to talk with Laura or find someone else to see about these episodes. I was afraid I’d lost you there for a minute or two. Please!”
She shook her head and said, “No, I’m okay, John. I’ll be fine.” To emphasize her point she stood up and straightened out her clothes, then brushed her hair out of her face. “I just get a little scared sometimes and cry for awhile and that’s perfectly normal,” she said trying to convince herself as much as John, who was definitely not convinced.
“Marlena, listen to me. When we were talking at first, I was on the cell phone and then you started to cry and you stopped talking to me completely. The drive over here took me 25 minutes and you wouldn’t say anything to me, you were back there in the cage….with Stefano.. and you couldn’t hear me or respond to me. Doc, that scares the heck out of me.” He took her shoulders and looked directly into her eyes, imploring her to listen, “What if I wasn’t able to get here? What if it happens when I’m not around? Doc, this is a problem and you need help with it!”
Feeling angry about needing help and angry with him for pushing her, she pulled away from his grasp. “No, I don’t have a problem and how would you know anyway? I’m the psychiatrist here…and you…couldn’t even tell when your own fiancée wasn’t really pregnant!” She was quite upset by her experience and didn’t know what she was even saying, but she saw the effect her harsh words and biting tone of voice had on him.
John let go of her completely and sunk down into a chair looking defeated, a powerful sigh escaping, “Ohhh, Marlena…” He shut his eyes to shut out the pain resulting from her cutting remark and didn’t say anything else.
Marlena felt awful about what she said to him. They had gotten past all the pain or so she thought and she just threw it in his face again, when all he was doing was trying to help her. Sitting down beside him she said, “I’m sorry, John. I don’t know where that came from. I guess I’m just scared to admit I’m having trouble handling my fears of Stefano and I was mad at you for trying to make me face the fact that I need to see someone to deal with it.”
He opened his eyes and they were filled with worry for her, as well as the pain of remembering the fights and the apologies about what had happened with Kristen. “That hurt, Doc.” He fell silent for a second and then added, “You know, I keep thinking we’re past it all and then boom it hits us in the face again.” His voice wavered with the newly refreshed pain he felt about what Kristen had done to him. “I was just trying to help you, Marlena.” He couldn’t shake the bitter angry tone in her voice when she made the comment and he let his hurt feelings build. “But, you know what, if you don’t want to get any help, fine don’t! But then don’t expect me to be here every time to pick up the pieces. I love you with my whole heart and soul, Marlena… but I’ve taken about enough of you throwing this thing with Kristen back at me and I’m through with it! If you don’t think I’m good enough or smart enough for you then let’s just call this wedding off!!”
John stood up to go and she reached out to grasp his arm, saying apologetically, “Wait, John please. Don’t go, I love you and I’m very sorry about what I said to you. I wasn’t thinking, I was just upset about this fear of Stefano and I didn’t want to admit there is a real problem here. Please forgive me, John!”
He felt torn. Loving her desperately was so difficult, and at times he hated how much he needed her. Now was one of those times. What he wanted to do was to go, but he couldn’t leave her, he could never leave her. “Doc are you ever going to stop blaming me or criticizing me for what happened? Are you ever going to let it go.. because if you can’t this is going to ruin our relationship. I can’t handle getting close and feeling like we’re past it only to find a week or two later that you’re still carrying blame and anger toward me about it.” Tears filled his eyes as he made one last comment from his heart, “It hurts too much, so please.. if you don’t think I’m good enough for you, just set me free…”
“Oh, John….you know I don’t really feel that way, don’t you? Have I really sent you those kinds of messages?” Seeing his wounded expression and the tears that were trying to escape from his eyes, Marlena realized she had done so on several occasions
She went over to hold him and felt him tense with the embrace, resisting her, not wanting to give in to it, but then at last he relaxed in her arms. “Oh, Doc, do you have any idea how frightened I was for you when I was driving over here?” he asked, reaching for her face, staring into her still moist eyes. “I almost ran off the road several times while I was trying to get you to talk to me! I love you, Marlena, with everything I am and everything I will ever be… and when you’re hurting I’m hurting too.”
Marlena started to weep for the depth of love she saw in his worried eyes… “I know that, John. I’m sorry about what I said to you just now, I really didn’t mean it. I think you are wonderful and I don’t blame you anymore, please believe that. I want to marry you, John Black and spend the rest of my life with you!”
It sounded like she meant it, but she had said it all before; and then said it again every time another incident occurred where she cut him down or threw blame back on him for her pain, so he wasn’t sure. “I….want to believe you, Doc. But, when you say things like that.. I have to wonder if you’re being honest with yourself. Maybe…you should take a day or two and think about it some more.. and..let me know. I’ll accept your decision, whatever it is.” John looked away from her and there was the pain of some uncertainty in both pairs of eyes.
“But, John the wedding is in two days and we’re moving today.” She was desperate for some explanation that would satisfy him and stop him from questioning her love, “John….maybe…this is just last minute jitters, you know… the stress of it all?”
He let out a breath he had been holding and said, his anxious expression indicating he didn’t think that was all there was to it, “Oh, baby I would so much like to believe that, but I’m not sure. You should have heard the tone of your voice, and seen the look on your face. I can’t just pretend it didn’t happen. Marlena, you must still have lingering doubts about me, and no matter how much it hurts to face them, I don’t want you to walk down that aisle to me on Saturday unless you are absolutely *sure* this marriage is what you want.”
She had no immediate answer, she needed to think about what he said and about what she felt in the moment she uttered those hurtful words as he was trying to help her. It was all so confusing and very upsetting and she started to cry again as she asked him, “Oh, John what are we going to do?” John just held her close and quietly said, “I honestly don’t know, Doc.”
Marlena and John stood there in the bedroom of the Penthouse holding each other for a few long minutes, and then John released Marlena and saying, “I think I better go now…that is if you’re okay, Doc.” There was fear in his voice, the fear of losing her again and she wished with all her might to remove the emotion from his heart, but said nothing about it or about her own.
“Yes, I’m fine, you go on ahead to whatever you had planned, John. I’ll be just fine here. The movers are right downstairs and the security people are ever present, as you only know too well.”
“I’m going to have to change my plans. I was…going to work on some…honeymoon details, but now….” His voice trailed off and grew faint, and he averted his gaze.
“Oh, John you don’t really doubt that we’ll be married, do you?” She asked in such a way as to try to convince him of her certainty, but her demeanor only gave him more cause to question what would happen in two days time.
“Like I said before, I don’t really know what to expect anymore, Marlena because I keep thinking we’ve made such incredible strides and we’ve made it past the pain and then I get smacked in the face with it all again. I can’t live like this, so I’m….gonna give you some space and let you decide what’s best for you, once and for all.” John made it to the door this time and then he said one last thing as those damn tears filled his eyes again, “I hope you can figure out what you really want in your future, Marlena and I hope it includes me, but if it doesn’t…..I think….maybe it’s….over for good because I just can’t handle this anymore.”
Feeling shocked by his statement, she asked him almost desperately, “John! You don’t mean that, if I still have doubts we…could…postpone the wedding until I resolve them, couldn’t we ?” She was going to come up with some other alternative as well, and stopped as she looked closely at him. He was serious about it, yet she could tell that just the thought of breaking it off was tearing him apart. “John, do you believe I love you?”
His shaky voice and body posture told of how much he was hurting and how fearful he was of losing her, but his words were firm. “Yes, I do, but you said yourself several times that love just isn’t enough sometimes. Maybe, I’m finally realizing you were right and I’m agreeing with you. I’m not going to try and persuade you that I can give you a good life, or that I’ll never hurt you or let you down. I have done all I know how to do to prove the depth of my love and commitment to you, and now you have to decide if it’s good enough for you, if I’m good enough.” John took another step away from her, ready to leave her to think about what she really wanted, and to make a final decision about their wedding plans.
She grasped his arm and said “John….wait, honey. I….want you to stay with me and talk some more about all this, please.” She was afraid too, afraid of facing any lingering doubts, afraid of losing the man she still loved deeply. “I need you, John and I love you, isn’t that good enough for you?”
“No, it isn’t, Doc. I can’t live this way, wondering when you might decide that I need to be taken down a notch about how she fooled me so completely, how she had me twisted around her finger. I can’t take that from you, so no.. it’s not good enough just to know you love me. I want you to be able to say to me, John I have no doubts about marrying you and spending all of my days on earth with you and our children. John, I love all of who you are and I don’t hold a grudge against you or think any less of you because of what happened with Kristen. If you can honestly say those things then let me know and I’ll be standing at the end of the aisle waiting for you on Saturday. Otherwise….”
His eyes silently begged her to say those words, to give that assurance here and now, but she didn’t say them and she had to look away to avoid seeing the anguish she knew he was feeling. John pulled out of her grasp, went out the bedroom door and reached the stairs quickly, before she could say something else that would keep him with her. “John, don’t go, please. We need to talk about this!”
He turned back and said in pain and frustration, “You just told me all I need to know, Doc! I….have to go.” She could see how badly hurt he was that she couldn’t tell him what he wanted to hear and it stabbed at her heart to see the pain in his eyes and face as he took one last glance at her hoping…
“No, John…wait!” Marlena was confused by the sudden turn of events and didn’t know what to say or do to help the situation and said nothing more. She knew he was going to leave her to think about her true feelings and thoughts about him, and whether or not her future was to be spent with him.
The next sound she heard was that of the door slamming shut, followed by deafening silence. The mover’s were out at the truck and the house was empty now, empty as was her heart at the thought of letting him go because she had some doubts that just wouldn’t go away. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself she had put the whole ordeal with Kristen and John’s relationship with the woman behind her, there were those nagging questions about whether John was the same man she had fallen in love with over a decade ago.
Then she did something she rarely did, cursing at the air, “Damm you Kristen! Damm you for doing this to us!” Then she sat back down on the floor of the bedroom and cried, overwhelmed with fear and sadness. Oh, Lord what should I do? I don’t know if I can say the words John wants me to say and if I don’t I’ll lose him….probably for good! Oh, I don’t want to lose him, I still love him so much… in spite of everything that’s happened. “Oh, John….why did this have to happen now, when we’re two days away from what is supposed to be the happiest day of our lives?”
Marlena had begun to regain her composure when she found something he had obviously meant to give her later on that day when he arrived as planned. It must have fallen out of his jacket when he knocked the door down to get to her. There was a single yellow rose and it was crushed and broken, its torn petals now all over the floor of the bedroom. A small card was there as well, found a foot away from the flower.
Dear Doc,
I want to bring a little yellow sunshine
to every day of your life. This flower symbolizes
my love for you and my joy in knowing that in two
days time you will become my wife.
I love you now and always,
John
As she picked up the broken petals of the once perfect rose which symbolized their once perfect love, a dream state that suddenly seemed unattainable, she broke down again. “Oh, God! I love him so….What am I going to do now?” Marlena fully realized in this moment just how much she did love him and how excruciatingly painful it would be to lose him. Somehow, the scales of love had been unbalanced for most of the time they had been back together. She was the one who could walk away, and he was the one fighting for her love, for her respect. Now, she was at a similar place, having to make a decision she would give anything not to have to make. If she were completely truthful with herself she would have to admit that the nagging doubts were still present, in spite of all he had done to prove himself and all the wonderful romance and love they shared. Deep inside her there was the muffled voice of pain, anger and bitterness and it said, “He should have known about your suffering, Marlena, but he was too caught up in that manipulative, conniving little…..tramp to see it. How can you ever truly forgive him for that?”
Marlena finally had an answer, “Because I love him, that’s why.. and that is what true love is all about.. and because he loves me. We have always been in love with each other and we always will be!! He is the man I love, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with and no….pesky little doubts will stop me from making our dream come true!” She knew she couldn’t lie to him, so she set about trying to divine a way to convince John that even if she did have some lingering concerns that it would no longer affect their relationship in any discernable way. ‘But how can I possibly do that? He was so hurt when he left, he was begging me to tell him all my doubts are gone…..for good and if I can’t do that how can I convince him to marry me anyway?’
John raced down the front steps of the Penthouse, ran to the Jeep Cherokee, jumped in and spun tires as he sped off toward some unknown destination. He was so hurt and very much afraid of losing Marlena, and he played their intense conversation over in his mind until his head throbbed with pain. ‘Face it, John…she just doesn’t think you’re good enough for her anymore. She still has doubts and she still holds the pain of what Kristen did against you.. and she always will! It’s over!’
Her words and facial expression when she said, “….and you…couldn’t even tell when your own fiancée wasn’t really pregnant!” were etched in his memory forever. ‘I’ve lost her, she just can’t get past it all. Dammit, John you’ve been fooling yourself again…all this time, trying to convince yourself she had forgiven you, but you knew didn’t you? You knew how she felt deep down inside, even though she said she had let it all go, and you just kept hoping it would become real one day. You even built her a house to make it look real on the outside.‘ Were we just playing pretend, both of us knowing it could never really be the same between us?
“Oh, Doc! I still love you so much and I want more than anything in this world to marry you on Saturday. Oh, God please give us a miracle here! Touch her heart; let her forgive me and stop holding it all against me, Please!”
John drove aimlessly for a long while and then eventually ended up at the new house and the picturesque location where the wedding was supposed to be taking place. He parked the Jeep and slowly walked out toward the white gazebo where the actual ceremony was to be conducted. He gazed out into the water that surrounded it on three sides, becoming lost in the shimmering highlights made by the sun shining down from the bluest of skies. All appeared to be right with the world, but John of all people knew how deceiving appearances could be.
He thought back over their convoluted past and secretly wished to go back in time to simpler days when their love was so strong it could stand against any force of evil, when there was nothing internal that would ever threaten it. ‘Those days are gone, John and you’re left with an imperfect love because of your own actions. If we are on shaky ground it’s because of what you did to the foundation. You heard what you wanted to hear and sometimes you pushed her to say what she didn’t want to say….No! that’s not true! She only said what she believed was true and you wanted it to be real so you accepted it as truth. We were both playing make believe and now it’s time to face reality and that is…what? We aren’t going to make it, the damage from your involvement with Kristen went too deep and it can’t be healed, John. You have nobody to blame but yourself for what’s happening!’
Next, he went to the exact spot where they planned to stand for the ceremony and pledge their love, merging two separate lives into one shared existence in the sanctity of marriage. John stared at the spot and drifted off into a daydream, imagining their wedding day. She stood there next to him and he was transfixed by her beauty, she wore a gorgeous gown, her hair was up and her jewels and makeup were the perfect compliment to her own natural beauty. The smile she wore was dazzling and it melted his heart, but then the vision changed and the smile turned to tears and angry words. “You should have seen my pain, John but you didn’t! You’ve changed, John. You’re not the same man I fell in love with! I can’t make the doubts go away. I’m sorry, but we can’t be married.”
He shook his head to clear it of that vision and shouted, “No! No! She loves me and she’s going to tell me all the doubts are gone and we will be married!, We will!” John wanted desperately to believe the validity of that statement, but in truth he believed it was unlikely now. He recalled staring into her eyes, pleading with her to say that she had resolved all her doubts, and that she no longer held a grudge, but she couldn’t say those words he so desperately wanted to hear; she’d even turned away so as not to have to face him.
As he glanced back up the hill toward the house, the pain began to sink in and he muttered forlornly his lament, “I had such hopes and dreams for this house, for our new life here.” John decided to go on up and into the house, perhaps to say goodbye to the structure itself, goodbye to those dreams, and goodbye to their love as well. Soon after entering, John thought of the gift he planned for her and went to retrieve it from its secret hiding place.
He had ordered a portrait made for her as a wedding gift. He had given the artist some videotapes and several still pictures to work from, as he wanted it to be a complete surprise for Marlena. John pulled it out of the portfolio, set it against the fireplace in the living room, and began to talk to the painting as if it were real, “Oh, Doc….how can our dreams be dying now, before they even begin, when we’re so close to making them come true? I don’t understand how it could come down to this. I love you, Marlena Evans and I will always love you, no matter what happens next…you will always be the greatest love of my life.”
John started to cry, then fell to his knees on the verge of sobbing after a long struggle to hold his emotions inside. “No, it just isn’t fair! I did everything I could to prove my love and commitment to you! How can it be over now? Doc, I love you so much!” John knelt there for a long time and when he thought he had no more tears and no more anguished pleading cries for his love or his Lord to answer he finally gathered the strength to rise from the floor.
When he did, Marlena was standing there looking at him with tears in her eyes; he thought he was imagining it, so he shut his eyes and shook his head, but she was still there when he opened them again. “Doc, what are you doing here?” he asked, trying not to feel hopeful so as not to be disappointed.
“Well, I came here hoping to find you and I did. I think we need to talk some more about Us… about the past and the future. Are you up for it, John?”
She didn’t give any clues about what she might say when he searched her face and he decided he had nothing more to lose, so he agreed. “Alright, if you say so, but I think you gave me the answer I had to have and it wasn’t the one I wanted to hear. I hope you have a different one for me now because if you don’t then…”
“John, listen to what I have to say, alright?” He nodded silently and let her speak to him. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since you left earlier and I have some things I’d like to share with you. I hope you’ll keep an open mind as I do and hear me all the way out before making any important decisions about our future. Can you do that, John?”
“Yes, I can do that.” John sat down on the carpeted floor and prepared to listen, hoping the end result of this conversation would be that the wedding was on for certain.
“First of all, I want you to know that I am deeply sorry for what I said to you earlier today when you were trying to help me with my fears about Stefano. I was wrong to say it and I hate to admit that I knew it would hurt you when I did. You don’t deserve to have me speak that way to you, especially when I have told you repeatedly that I have forgiven you for everything.” She could see that this affected him as there were a couple of tears trickling down his cheeks as she spoke her apology.
His reply was soft and quiet, “Thanks, Doc. It means a lot to hear you say that to me. I appreciate the apology very much.”
“Okay, that being said I want to be completely honest about my feelings. You were right. I do have some lingering doubts about you, about all that happened with Kristen and no matter how hard I’ve tried I cannot banish them from my heart or from my mind.” Marlena could see the pain return to his eyes and it looked as though he were about to stand, so she put up a hand and said, “Wait, you need to hear me out. Sometimes words come out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop them, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you and want to marry you, John. I do love you with all my heart and soul, and even though there are some nagging concerns I don’t want them to stop us from making our dreams come true.”
He stood up immediately, shaking his head and laboring to make sense of what she just said, but he couldn’t. “How can you say you love me and want to marry me if you still have doubts about me, if you still hold what happened with Kristen against me? I don’t understand you, Doc! Either you have forgiven me by now, or you haven’t. I can’t live wondering if a time bomb is going to go off in my face at any given moment. Can’t you understand that?” he cried.
“John, please… that’s not…. ” she started to say and then stopped to look at him closely. John was hurting even more than he had been before she tried to make up to him.
He was incredulous, still shaking his head in disbelief, not quite know what else to say to make her comprehend his pain. She wanted him just to accept that she had doubts and marry her anyway, knowing that on any given day she might blow off steam at him or cut him down to size in an argument. Comments she had made previously tore at his self-esteem and she was asking him to just accept that as part of the package. “No, I won’t do it, Doc. I love you more than words can say, but I’m not going to be your whipping boy. If that’s what you want, then count me out!”
John hastened toward the door and then turned back at nearly the last moment. With tears in his eyes, his distress plainly visible in the lines of his face, he uttered the words he would have sworn he would never have to say to her again. “Goodbye, Marlena.. I hope you find what you’re looking for someday. I love you and I will never stop loving you.”
Marlena was taken aback, having thought he would accept what she said; she had no idea he would react so strongly. This was just one more indication of how very far they had come from the total trust and intimacy they once shared. She didn’t know what to do or say to stop him from leaving. She couldn’t take back what she said and it appeared that a line had been crossed and there was no going back; their relationship seemed to have reached the end here in this place which was to be the symbol of their new beginning. Now it would be remembered as the place where dreams died and hearts were broken. “Wait, John! Don’t go, Please! I LOVE you!” she shouted desperately as he reached the threshold, standing in the open doorway.
In spite of how much it hurt him, he turned around to face her one last time. “What, Doc? You just said it all. Your doubts are never going to leave you and so…it’s over for us. We have finally come to the end of our journey…..God, it hurts so much!” He started to weep unexpectedly, as tears of sadness and regret returned to his weary eyes.
There were salty droplets in her eyes too as she fought for their love. “No, John. If we break it off now, we’re letting her win. Can’t you *see* that? I don’t want her to win!” she cried, inching toward him. “We deserve to share our love, John.. and live out our lives together. If you walk away now, then you’re saying she was right, that we don’t belong together, that our love isn’t strong enough. I want to share my life with you because you are the only man for me, John Black! Please don’t walk away from what we have because of some nagging doubts I have about the past.”
John was overwhelmed by mixed emotions and his thoughts swirled about in his head. None of it made sense to him and he didn’t know what to do next. The only thing he knew for sure was that his heart ached with unbearable sadness at the thought of actually leaving and never coming back to her, never holding her again, never…. “I don’t know, Doc. I’m so confused!” His lips trembled and tears flowed openly as he allowed himself this last moment of total vulnerability so she would understand just what she was asking him to do. “You keep saying how much you love me and that you forgive me, but it hurts me so much when you cut me down like that. I can’t handle having you do that whenever you get angry about something. It makes me feel so….inferior, so demeaned.. and I can’t take that from someone who says she loves me. I have never done that to you about anything.. and it breaks my heart… that you could talk to me like that after all we have worked through together these past few months… after everything I’ve done to prove my love to you.”
“Oh, honey…I’m so sorry, John. I don’t mean to do it. I never meant to hurt you or give you mixed messages. This has all been so confusing for both of us and it’s hard to put it behind us, but I don’t want what she did to us to ruin our future too. Please don’t give up on us, John. We’ve worked so hard to get to this point; what we have is so special, so magical and I don’t want to let it die. Please say you still plan to marry me!”
John stood quietly for several moments, bombarded with conflicting feelings, in turmoil about what action he should take. His heart said stay and his head said go, so there he stood, paralyzed as to what was to be his next move. He never dreamed it would be him in this position. He thought he would always have to be the one fighting for their love, trying to convince her it could work. Now, he was the one who wasn’t sure and it felt so strange.
What should I do? John asked himself silently. She says she loves me and wants to marry me and yet she also admits she has doubts about me and is having a hard time completely letting go of what happened with Kristen. How in the world can she expect me to stand up there and pledge my heart and my life to her, knowing she might decide at any moment that I’m not good enough and then just walk away from me? Oh, God I’m so confused!!
Marlena silently pleaded with him to say that he still planned to marry her, but she wondered now if he would. Would I marry him in the reverse situation? Oh, God, please help us! She decided to break the silence, “John, I know this is really confusing for you and it is for me too. So much has happened to us in the past few years, but the one thing I’ve always been sure of is the deep love we shared, even when we acted as if we were only friends, it was there inside of us. That love is still there and I don’t want to lose it now. Please tell me you feel the same way, honey.”
“Oh, of course the love is still there, Marlena. That was what kept me going in some of the roughest periods of my life, the strength of our love helped get me through my fear of losing you during the Possession, it gave me faith in Aremid, and the will to find you when Stefano had you in Paris. Doc, my love for you and our relationship has been the most important thing in my whole life and I don’t want to lose it either. That’s why I’ve been fighting so hard, and working to prove my love to you these past few months.”
“But…..you’re not sure if you can marry me now, knowing I still have some unresolved doubts about you.. and what happened with Kristen. Why, John? If what you just said is true, why can’t you just trust in the strength of that love?” She wanted to make him see that they could make it through whatever lay ahead, including any lingering issues and still be happily married, but she could see his hesitance.
“Because, Doc….what if you change your mind about me? What if you finally decide when all is said and done that I’m just not good enough for you? What are you going to do, just say.. Oh sorry, John I tried, but I guess I really couldn’t forgive you after all, the marriage is over? What do you expect me to do with this, Doc?”
There were tears in his eyes again and despite his efforts to control his emotions his self-esteem was wounded and he was so afraid of losing her the way he described; she could see it from his perspective now. “Oh, John, I am so sorry! I wasn’t looking at this from your side of things. Don’t you know that I would never do something like that to you? I would never hurt you that way, John.”
“As much as I’d like to….I can’t be sure of that! If you did decide after we were married that you didn’t want me anymore but you didn’t want to hurt me, what…you would just stay in a marriage you didn’t really want?” He shook his head at the idea, “Don’t you see, Doc? We can’t be married under this kind of pressure and uncertainty! It wouldn’t be right for either one of us.”
“But, John I love you so much and I want to be with you. And you’re saying our love is as strong as ever…what exactly are you saying you want to do, here?” She was afraid to ask and afraid to hear his answer to her question, but she knew they couldn’t avoid it either.
John couldn’t maintain his composure any longer and tears started to trickle down his cheeks as he said the hardest words he ever uttered, his voice barely above a whisper, “We have to end it for good, that’s the only way, Marlena. I can’t go through this with you anymore. I don’t think you’ll ever truly get past what happened and so I have to.. let you go. Then, you can find someone else to love, someone who won’t.. hurt you like I did. I’m so sorry it isn’t going to be me because I love you so much and I will always love you….. Goodbye, Doc!”
John broke down in tears at the same time as he stepped out of the house, while Marlena stood there in total shock at what he had just said. John was ending it and she thought that if would ever end for good it would be her that did it. “No, John! Don’t do this, we can make it work! You said it yourself, we just have to let go of the past and concentrate on our future together! We can do it, John! We can!” She was sobbing, barely able to see for the moisture in her frightened eyes, and she yelled, nearly begging him to stay with her.
He felt paralyzed again, standing just past the frame of the open door. His heart and his head were all muddled, and he had no idea what was right or wrong for them; he just knew it would kill him to leave her. Yet the pain and uncertainty of a life with her now was just as painful to endure, never certain when she would cut him down or throw blame at him for something that happened in connection to his time with Kristen. He turned back to her one more time and thought he would die on the spot to look at the pain in her eyes. “Oh Doc, I can’t do this anymore! I love you, but you can’t seem to let the past go even though you say you want to. My being with Kristen hurt you too deeply and you have to face it, *we* have to face it.. It’s over for us!”
A part of her accepted the truth of what he was saying and she saw him recognize that acceptance in her eyes, but she denied it vehemently. “John, I don’t want to end it, I can’t let it end here! Please, reconsider, think of something else to do besides walking away from Us. Maybe we can…postpone the wedding…go to some counseling together…I don’t know. All I do know is that my….heart is…..breaking….and I don’t want to lose you, to lose what we have together. I love you so much and I have always loved you. I can’t imagine my life without you, John Black!”
“Ohhh, Doc I can barely even get as far as the front door of this house, let alone going through the rest of my life without you. But, I don’t see any other way.” He decided to give it one more chance, asking one last time, with a quavering voice, “Marlena, If you can stand right here and now and look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you have absolutely no doubts about marrying me. If you can say that you have no doubts about whether my love is true, no lingering anger or blame toward me about my relationship with Kristen and what she did, then I will stay and we will get married on Saturday. Can you do that Marlena?”
John prayed for divine intervention, but didn’t seem to get it as she stared into his eyes for a moment; it seemed as though she would speak, and then she awkwardly looked away. He shut his eyes for a second as if he could shut out the harsh reality of her inability to do what he asked. His voice shook and his lips trembled as he spoke his parting words to her, “I thought as much….. Goodbye, Marlena. I wish you only the best, my love… and I hope you find love again before too long because you have so much to give. Please know that I will treasure our love and friendship.. for the rest of my life. I love you!”
Marlena couldn’t even speak to him she was crying so violently and she fell to her knees sobbing as he left her. When he reached the landing, having closed the door behind him, John fell to the ground and did the same. They were within a few yards of each other, lost in the agony of a once great love gone awry. So close and yet so far away, there at the brand new house which was supposed to mark the beginning of their new life together. Now it was the place where dreams died, hearts were torn apart, and words of farewell were spoken.
“No! NO! I won’t let it end this way!” Marlena stood up, raced toward the front door and yanked it open, sensing his lingering presence outside. John, who was caught off guard, stood up immediately, and headed rapidly toward the Jeep, purposely not looking back at her tear-streaked face. Seeing her cry was always so painful, and he knew if he let himself look at her now, he wouldn’t be able to go. And he had to go, it was his only choice, the only way to set her free. Someone needed to be the one to let go and he believed it had to be him, for her sake as well as his. She grabbed his arm and tried to pull him to her.
Tugging at the arm, he pleaded with her, cognizant that he had little strength to resist if she continued to press him, “Let me go, Doc. You know you have to let me go, it’s the best thing for both of us. You’ll find love again someday, a love without so much baggage to go along with it… and you’ll be happy.” Wiping his face of salty moisture, he struggled for composure, “That’s all I ever wanted for you, you know, but I just kept… hurting you… no matter how hard I tried… and I’m so sorry, Marlena. You are the last person I ever wanted to hurt, but somehow I did and I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand why that is.”
It was all she could do to speak to him, on the verge of hysteria as she was, her words tumbling out, “Yes, you hurt me, but I hurt you too, John! I turned you away and then I gave you so many mixed messages because I couldn’t stop loving you! When we had our affair, I should have admitted it was you! You were the one who held my heart! It was you I wanted to make my life with, but I didn’t have the strength to take that step then. I’m so sorry I sometimes made it seem as if it was all your fault, John!” She was still crying as she spoke to him. Both hands on his arms, she forced him to look at her as their emotions swelled, “That night….that night I told you that you were taking advantage of me…it was wrong! I wanted to be with you so much….and that time at the pond… I thought I would die to let you go. Oh, John I’m dying now!”
It was excruciatingly painful to remember, and know there would be no more memories to make with her… He was shaking his head…his sad eyes leaking tears, “Oh, God Doc! Don’t do this! It hurts too much to talk about this. We had such a great love, but it’s over now and we both know it! Someone has to have the strength to walk away and I guess it has to be me, maybe it always did….you know that.. don’t you?”
“No! No! I DON’T know that! The only thing I know is that we love each other and that is the only thing I want to know right now. Hold me, John! Just hold me and kiss me, please!”
She waited a second and saw he wouldn’t, so she took his face and captured his mouth in a fierce kiss meant to persuade. He struggled, resisting it and then slowly John began to respond to her. He kissed her back, with all the love he held inside through all the years. This was goodbye and he wanted her to remember his love and his kiss forever, so he gave himself fully to the passionate embrace. They instinctively moved toward the door of the house and somehow ended up inside the dwelling within moments, still locked in a powerful embrace.
Marlena was desperate, touching him in ways and places she knew he would find it impossible to resist and she felt him responding as she hoped. Swiftly, she intensified her motions, her hands on his groin making him throb with an aching need. John was losing the battle and a part of him didn’t care. One last time he told himself, one last memory to take with me, that’s what this is…A rational thought struck him and he pleaded with her not to make it tougher, “OH, Doc…..stop it…we can’t do this, it’s too confusing. Oh, Marlena!” he moaned, as the pleasure intensified.
His heart pounded, sweat beads broke out all over his body and the electrifying sensations took over, conquering his conscious mind. It was exactly what she had intended and she was relentless in her attempt to keep him with her. She kissed him fiercely and he begged her to stop, “Ohhhh, Marlena….Oh stop please, this is killing me!”
He tried to pull away from her, but she was making it impossible. It was in the way she kissed him all over his face, chest and neck while she began to undress him…her hands inside his pants causing him to shudder…. He soon found himself lost in their lovemaking. John agonized for a long moment, striving for the willpower to resist, and found nothing but an overwhelming need to join with her. He felt himself slowly, inevitably… giving in, letting her take him to a place he’d never been before, letting her have total control over him.
She firmly guided him to stand against the wall as her tongue caressed his, essentially trapping him there with her body. He was spellbound…. a prisoner of love, as Marlena proceeded to take him to unimaginable levels of desire with her hands and mouth, her tongue gliding over his bare skin, sending fiery tendrils of desire to every nerve cell. Then when she thought he couldn’t take any more, she spoke in anger mixed with her own rising desire, her breath hot on his neck, her tongue lingering near his ear, tantalizing him as only she could do…. “Now, tell me again, John.. how you want to walk away from me, from this!”
He started to cry, hurt she would try to keep him this way and yet he knew she was right. How could he walk away from the most incredible and intense love and desire he had ever known? Through his ragged labored breaths, he managed an anguished response, “Ohhhh, you don’t play fair, Doc!”
John tried to pull away again, but she pushed back with her body and responded strongly to his statement, both verbally and physically, her hands pressing hard against his shoulders. “No, I don’t! Not when I’m fighting for the best thing that ever happened to me in my whole life! I love you and I’m not giving up on us. Can you tell me now that you can give up, John? Can you leave me now?” Marlena commanded him with her hands, one of them massaging him through his pants, the other unfastening his belt, but holding him in place with her will.
She didn’t give him time to answer. Instead she finished with his pants, then kissed him intensely again as she raked her nails over the taught skin of his now bare backside and she felt him slowly surrendering completely to her unrestrained lovemaking. His sharp intake of breath was the signal that he was letting go, allowing her to control him. “You like that, do you…. you want me, John…. you want me like never before… don’t you!”
There was no power he possessed that could resist her, no will left to fight the overwhelming physical need….. “Marlena…..this is crazy….oh…” he cried, wanting this moment to go on forever even as his mind tried to end it.
His breathing became shallow and rapid and he began touching her in the same special pleasure spots and she responded with soft moans that served to fuel his heated desire. John was unbuttoning her blouse now and he began to kiss her on the neck, moving down to her breasts…her soft warm flesh against his wet lips… they both moaned with the intensity of the love they were making.
She whispered in his ears and nibbled at them, sending shivers up and down the length of his spine…. “Oh, John, make love to me, now! Love me, John. There is nothing else but you and me… and the feeling of our bodies together, John. Take me please, take me now!”
He had no choice now, but to obey her enticing, seductive commands. John’s body had finally given in to her as she knew it would. Still, there was the slightest of hesitations as they laid down; she placed her curvaceous figure on top of his and moved up and down over him, building his desire again as she simultaneously kissed him teasingly. Her tongue danced around his, not letting him fully kiss her the way he needed and it took him higher and higher until he cried out the with agony of wanting her. “Oh, Doc!”
She stopped for a second, just long enough to assist him in pulling his shorts down and she finished undressing herself, hastily pulling her skirt and pantyhose off her slender frame. Now, there was no barrier between them and they paused for a fraction of a second to admire the view. John had one moment of sanity and made a slight move of resistance, attempting to speak and failing. But she conquered him again by moving in low below the belt line, kissing him so tenderly there, and he was gone, all resistance disappearing into the maddening desire he always had for her. “Oh… Oh, Doc…” He shivered with the delight of it and she moaned and smiled almost wickedly at the results of her aggressive moves toward him. She had never taken this stance with him; it pleased her to see his astonishment and feel him gradually submitting to her commanding presence.
He let her love him for several more minutes and then he rolled her over and moved over her as if to tease her with it now. Then he took her mouth fiercely to delight and punish. She had practically forced him to love her and he had to make her feel that same anguish he experienced as he surrendered to her power. This was desperate, angry love, love that didn’t want to let go, love that would do anything to remain alive, and they gave themselves fully to the sexual experience. John teased her unmercifully, rubbing his lean frame up and down over her flushed moist skin until she too cried out with her aching desire, “John! Oh, John I love you! Stay with me, baby! I want you, and I need you!” she cried, tugging him closer still, her hands clutching at his back.
John took her mouth…. his tongue owning hers, breathing into her as he kissed her with an animal hunger…”I love you, Marlena! I need you… I love you, I love you….” He repeated it as he lost himself in her, and in the dangerously hot fire of their love, thrusting harder and harder as the waves of pleasure began to wash over them.
They were immersed in their overwhelming passion and their bodies moved together to bring them to a level of shared ecstasy they had never before experienced, even with each other. The desperation and uncertainty of their situation brought a fearful intensity to their lovemaking and they clung to this intimate moment. John and Marlena wanted it to go on forever so they didn’t have to face the questions for which there were no answers. They took each other to dizzying heights and then held off the peak until they thought they would die from unfulfilled desire, finally surrendering to it completely.
When they were finished they were totally spent, physically and emotionally drained like never before. The couple laid there in the euphoric afterglow, cloaked in sated silence, the only sounds made by their still labored breathing and the rapid beating of two hearts that for a moment became one.
As their breathing began to slow to normal and their hearts stopped pounding, John and Marlena both felt the fear and uncertainty return with a vengeance. Neither knew what would happen next. There was a long awkward silence that followed their lovemaking as they began to stir from their position, their naked bodies next to each other on the living room floor of the brand new house where they were supposed to be moving this very day. They began to gather their clothes which had been carelessly strewn all over the room in the intensity of their need for each other, and they felt so vulnerable, almost embarrassed and eyes wouldn’t meet, not yet. With backs turned, they began to dress themselves, the silence all encompassing in its power over them.
John felt a strange sense of violation from the intensity of Marlena’s lovemaking, her forceful actions a blatant attempt to change his mind about letting her go. It hurt him to know that she would so obviously use his overwhelming desire for her to bind him to her in this way.
Marlena had been pleased to have him, to keep him with her, but felt some guilt about the way she accomplished her goal. She had to admit that she had purposely taken advantage of his intense desire for her and virtually forced him to make love to her.
With that as a backdrop, neither of them wanted to be the first to break the discomfited silence. What could be said about all that had transpired in just a few hours time? They had gone from great joy about their wedding, the honeymoon, and their plans for the future together to the depths of despair at having reached the end of their love relationship. Then there was the desperate love they had just made which only served to increase the confusion and add to the conflicting emotions they were experiencing. Finally, the sound of voices was heard as they said, “So, now what are we going to do?” at the exact same time; they glanced at each other for a second and then quickly averted their gazes, at a loss for answers.
Marlena decided to speak first, “John, I…I’m sorry…” She changed her mind and said rather forcefully, “No! darn it all, I’m not sorry at all. I’m glad, I’m glad we made love like that! I’m glad that you are here with me now, instead of us each being alone and crying over a break-up!” He wouldn’t look at her so she drove the point home, “John, that was the most incredible love we have ever made, can you stand there and tell me you don’t want to share that with me again?”
Tears were in his eyes again as he finally looked over at her, his voice quavering with emotion, his lips trembling, “Oh, Doc you’re being so unfair to me! You know… that making love to you… is the greatest pleasure I have ever known in this life, but you can’t… hold onto our love with it, Marlena. You of all people should know that! You used it, Marlena! You used my need for you.. to keep me here with you, to keep me bound to you. That hurts me, Doc! You…knew I wouldn’t be able to stop, Marlena. I was leaving for you, to do what was best for you, for both of us and now….”
“And now what, John? What do you want now?” she demanded, angrily, cognizant that what he said was the truth. She had used it… she was desperate and she would have done anything to make him stay.
He suddenly became angry and he shouted at her, “What do I want? I want you to forgive me and let go of the past, Marlena! But you just can’t seem to do it, so I…..have to go!” His voice softened for a moment and he said, “I love you, always…” and then although he was still shirtless and barefoot, he turned quickly away from her and bolted from the house running to the Jeep before she could even react. John had taken her completely by surprise, purposely so she couldn’t try to stop him again. He had driven off in the vehicle before she was even able to reach the driveway.
As he drove away John could barely see out of his tear-filled eyes. When he was a mile or so from the house he pulled into the entrance to the local park and stopped there for awhile, knowing he wasn’t in any shape to drive. He turned off the engine and leaned his head against the dashboard, then broke down in tears for the loss of his greatest love. ‘Oh, Doc why did you have to do that to me? You made it so much harder for me to let go, but that’s exactly the reason isn’t it? You knew I would have more of a struggle if we made love one last time! Oh, God I love her so much! how am I going to survive without her now?
Images of their heated lovemaking flooded his mind: her touches, her hot kisses, her soft warm breath in his ears, her tender hands all over his skin, their desire taking them to a special place out of time, out of mind. “Oh, Marlena I love you! Oh God, it’s over, it’s really over, forever!” he cried out in agony. Powerful sobs overtook his body as he allowed himself to grieve this loss–he wouldn’t make the same mistakes again. This time he would immerse himself in the pain of losing her for as long as it claimed his heart and soul and then…
No, there is nothing more…no future without her, John!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As he sat there weeping, his cell phone rang and he grabbed it by instinct, “Hello?” The caller knew something was terribly wrong by the sound of his voice and he could hear John trying to stifle his cries.
“John, what’s wrong, buddy? You sound horrible!”
“Oh, Abe…..it’s over, it’s over forever!” John started to cry again despite his best efforts to hide his despair from his friend.
“Whoa, John hey, what happened? You were so ecstatic about the wedding, moving into the new house, the honeymoon, just a few hours ago! What’s going on?”
John couldn’t answer calmly or coherently and his words came out in broken phrases between sobs. “We….she….was scared about Stefano and then….oh, we fought.. She just can’t forgive me, Abe….she still blames me for Kristen… I..tried to let go…then….oh, Abe… she..we…were just….together and… Oh God! it’s over, Abe. Doc and I are through forever…Ohh! how can I make it without her?”
Abe was very concerned about his friend who had suffered so much pain and loss. It seemed there was one thing after another, ever since he had known the man. “Where are you, John?” he asked, knowing his best friend needed immediate support.
“At the park near the new house.” He sounded so empty, so lost.
“I’ll be right there, please stay put, okay?”
Too devastated to argue, John agreed, “Okay, I’ll stay here, thanks Abe. We were so close, Abe so close to having our dream….Ohh no, it can’t be over..”
“Give me 15 minutes and I’ll be there, John!” Abe hung up and then rushed out of his office, sprinting to the car. It had taken John a few months to let himself trust in his renewed love relationship with Marlena. There had been so much tension and uncertainty in the early going of the reunion and John was hesitant to trust that it would work out in the long run. Within the past few weeks he finally seemed to have given himself completely to it and was overjoyed as he talked about the wedding and honeymoon plans. John had just told Abe earlier in the day that he believed their marriage would grow stronger every day and last for the rest of his life and now, suddenly it was over? John was obviously devastated by the apparent break-up and needed his friend’s support. “Hang in there, buddy I’m on the way…”
John laid down on the front seat of the Jeep as the pain enveloped him. Time lost all perspective, nothing mattered, nothing even registered but the agonizing aching sensation of loss he felt deep within his heart and soul.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marlena sat shell shocked at the house, wondering how John had gotten away and wishing she had lied to him about the issue of doubts. Some minor lingering doubts were preventing them from sharing a life together. “Dammit, I should have told him I have no doubts, no blame about Kristen! Why, Marlena? Why can’t you let it go once and for all?” She ran outside as soon as she was able to get up, but John was at the street by the time she reached the end of the front steps and she knew she had no chance to catch him. “Oh, John I thought you would stay if we made love!”
She went back inside to finish putting her stockings and shoes on and straighten her clothes, completing the tasks almost absently, not caring about her appearance in the least. As she did so, she picked up the shirt he left behind and held it to her face, breathing in the strong masculine scent, the aroma of his cologne lingering on the fabric; she savored the moment. “Oh, my love… Why couldn’t you stay?” Why can’t I just let it go! Why can’t I just forgive him and leave the pain in the past, for good? She talked out loud to herself as she looked in a mirror in the bathroom, “Marlena if you can just find a way to do that you will be married to the man you have always loved, the way you have dreamed of for so long. But if you don’t…. you’ve lost him forever.”
Her mind couldn’t stop picturing the expression on his face, the agony in his eyes as he pleaded for her to say that she had no doubts, no anger or blame toward him. He was so hurt by her inability to utter them and he had broken down in tears as he said goodbye to her; it was excruciatingly painful for him, but he was only doing what he truly believed was best for her, for both of them actually. She loved him even more for his willingness to do that when he so desperately wanted to marry and share his life with her. ‘Why can’t I find it within myself to let it go and move forward with my love for him ?’
Sitting down on the porch swing staring out at the lake and down toward the gazebo where they had planned to be married, she thought of all the long talks they shared about their hopes and dreams for the future, all the secret wishes, all the love they had made.. and she began to cry again. “Oh, John I don’t want to give you up because of these nagging concerns. I love you with all my heart!”
Kneeling down on the floor of the porch in the house John had designed especially for her, Marlena decided she needed divine assistance in her quest. “Dear God, you know that the man I love is going to leave me because I can’t put to rest all my doubts, hurt feelings, and anger about his time with that evil woman. I have tried so hard to put the pain away on my own power, but I can’t do it. Please God, help me! If this marriage is in accordance with your will, if our love is truly meant to be, please touch my heart with the forgiveness I need to have for John. Help me let it go once and for all.” She continued to kneel and allowed herself to embrace God’s love completely, opening her mind and spirit to his ways.
After about ten minutes of silent contemplation, she began to feel a sense of peace and healing flow through to her soul. Her spirits were lifted and it felt almost as if a heavy burden were removed from her shoulders. She felt light of heart and searched herself, surprised to find that the lingering doubts, the hurt, the anger had mysteriously vanished, as if never present. They were taken by God’s healing presence in her heart and soul, and she was overcome with gratitude. Marlena had finally submitted herself to his guidance and wisdom and he answered her honest heartfelt prayer.
“Oh, Thank you, God! Thank you so much!!” Joyful tears streamed down her flushed cheeks as she added, “Thank you for healing my heart, for allowing me to feel the total forgiveness for John that I have been seeking all these months. I have to go to him and tell him about this miracle so that we can be married the way you intended all along. Marlena felt sure about God’s blessing on their relationship now, more certain than ever before. As she ran out of the house and jumped into her car, she couldn’t wait to find John, take him in her arms and reveal to him what God had done for them.
When Abe Carver arrived at the park his friend had mentioned, he noticed the Jeep parked at an awkward angle near the entrance as if the driver had stopped immediately upon entering the park. Cognizant that John had to be very distraught and obviously didn’t care where he parked, Abe pulled up next to the other vehicle, got out slowly and approached the Jeep to see his friend, hoping he could help even a little bit.
He peered in the window to see John lying down on the front seat, knees bent; he wasn’t wearing a shirt or shoes. “Oh, buddy…I’m sorry.” John must have run out of the house after making love with Marlena, Abe had pieced that much together from John’s broken tear-choked phrases and this sight confirmed his suspicion. It had sounded as though she had tried to make up with him by making love and he left shortly afterward, very upset. John was lying quietly now, his red cheeks puffy and still wet, and there was a deep but somewhat dull expression of sadness on his face.
Abe knocked lightly on the window and John startled, wiping away the remaining tears with the back of his hand and then sat up swiftly to respond to the noise. He opened the door and made brief eye contact, but didn’t say anything, slightly embarrassed to have been found in such a state.
“Hey, buddy,” Abe said as he gave John a squeeze on the shoulder. Then he asked softly, “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
John climbed down out of the Jeep, still not looking up, and said rather bitterly, “There’s really not much to tell, Abe… it’s over with me and Doc and that’s the story. Marlena just can’t find in her heart to put what happened with Kristen behind her and so…we’re through.” He instinctively walked over toward the blacktop path that circled the lake at the heart of the park, and Abe followed him.
“Why, John? Did Marlena break it off with you just now?”
John was a little hesitant to answer, but opted for honesty even though he knew he would have to explain the whole upsetting scenario; he dreaded talking about it. “No… I did it, I thought it was the best thing for her. We can’t be married if she’s still not sure about me, if she has lingering anger and hurt feelings toward me about Kristen.”
“John, maybe you…misunderstood or are misinterpreting things here. She loves you and she really wants to be your wife, I know she does, John! Isn’t that good enough for you?”
“Jeez, Abe you sound just like her!” John said, clearly irritated. “No, it’s not good enough because there are times when she….she cuts me down, Abe for not knowing what Kristen was doing and for not seeing her pain. After everything we’ve worked on, all I’ve tried to do to prove my love to her, the fact that she still does that….it hurts, Abe. It hurts a lot!”
“I’m sorry, John I know this whole thing has been rough on both of you. But, I know you love her deeply and she loves you so much, so how can you just walk away from her?”
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair absently, gathering his thoughts before answering, “Hell, I don’t know, I don’t know anything any more, Abe.” John stopped and was thoughtful for a moment and then turned to ask his friend a question, “Okay let’s say we do go ahead with the wedding, what if she decides later that I’m just not good enough or that she can’t really forgive me and get past the pain? So what… she’s trapped into making a tough decision of either staying in a marriage she doesn’t want or hurting me by asking for a divorce… No, I can’t put her through that, or me for that matter.”
The situation was confusing at best…. “John, earlier today you were so happy, telling me all about your plans for the wedding and honeymoon. What happened to change all that so suddenly for you?” Abe asked, worried and wishing for a solution.
He started walking again, feeling more comfortable when he was on the move… sighing wearily before he launched into it… “Oh, Abe I don’t want to go through it all again, but I guess I should tell you if I expect you to understand any of this. I have to say that I’m not really sure I understand it myself, to tell you truth. After we talked at the station, I gave her a call on the cell phone to confirm the plans for tonight… you know, the decoy plan. She sensed that I was concerned about Stefano not going for it and she got upset about it. Lately she’s had these…episodes where the fear takes over and she cries and withdraws from everything. It’s starting to scare me and I said I thought she should talk to someone about it and that’s when it happened.”
“What, John? What did she say that caused such a drastic reaction on your part?”
He couldn’t believe it still hurt so much, but he couldn’t shake the pain he felt as she uttered the words, nor the expression and tone of voice with which she spoke them. “She… she said, how would you know…you couldn’t even tell when your own fiancée wasn’t really pregnant! It was so demeaning, and there was such derision in her voice.”
“I’m sorry John, but maybe you shouldn’t take this so seriously, I mean she was already upset about Stefano and she probably didn’t know what she was saying. Did she apologize?” Abe was trying to make him feel better and to understand Marlena’s perspective.
“Abe, you just don’t get it, do you? I can’t even count how many times she has said things like that since we got back together. Abe, she says em because she still blames me for what she suffered and because she really believes I should have known. She just can’t let it go.”
“Maybe, you’re making too much of it, maybe she…”
That stopped him.. he was angry… “No, Abe! I asked her point blank when she didn’t want to break it off if she could look me in the eye and tell me she had no more doubts, no more anger or blame toward me about Kristen. She couldn’t do it, Abe. I asked her twice, once at the Penthouse and again at the new house and she couldn’t do it! She stared at me for a minute and I thought she was going to say what I prayed for, but she turned away from me and didn’t say a word. So…I had to leave her,” he said sadly as the tears that filled his eyes off and on all afternoon and seemed always ready to fall, started to sneak out around the corners of his eyes.
Abe put an arm around his friend’s shoulder and said simply, “I’m sorry, John. I really thought you two were going to make it. I thought you were past all the pain from the ordeal with Kristen. You seemed so happy, so good together lately.”
He nodded, lamenting the swift change in plans. John’s tears were falling in a light mist, and he said, “Yea.. we were and I did too, Abe. I guess I just hurt her too deeply and the damage can’t be healed enough for us to be together. Oh, Abe it….hurts SO much!” He held the forefinger and thumb of his right hand about an eighth of an inch apart and whispered intensely, “We were this close, Abe. This close to having our dream, to sharing our lives in that new house down the street, raising the kids together…Oh God, how can that dream die, Abe? I can’t believe it’s really over!”
“I’m so sorry, John! Are you sure about this, are you sure you want to let her go like this?”
“Of course I don’t WANT to, Abe! She doesn’t either, but we can’t pretend, we can’t be married with her still having doubts about me. It just wouldn’t be right for either one of us to marry with that much uncertainty hanging over our heads.” John suddenly became quiet, thoughtful. Too quiet.. as they continued to follow the asphalt path around the picturesque lake, his sad eyes wandering aimlessly.
“John? what are you thinking now?” Abe asked, when he believed he’d waited long enough.
John was silent for awhile longer, but the pain in his best friend’s moist blue eyes was worse than Abe had ever seen it, his voice thick with emotion when he finally did speak. “Oh, just about what happened a short time ago at the house. She…tried to keep me with her you know…. Marlena.. .she uh…. she practically forced herself on me, Abe. She….used my…desire for her to stop me from leaving. We made the most incredible love we ever have… and now… it hurts so much more to leave her. She did it on purpose… so I’d stay and agree to marry her in spite of her doubts. Can you believe Marlena would do something like that?” he asked, still incredulous about it.
Abe hesitated briefly and then answered, lightly grasping his buddy’s arm to stop his progress down the path, so that he could look the man in the eye. “Yes, I can, John…. because she truly loves you, and she wants very much to share her life with you, even if there are a few lingering concerns from your past. So, I’ll ask you one more time, my friend. Are you absolutely certain that breaking it off forever is what you have to do? Can you really give her up completely, can you do it without regrets about your decision?
Contemplative, his head tilted downward, his eyes absently studying an interesting bug, John considered the question, sighing dejectedly as he responded. “To be brutally honest, partner… I don’t even know how I’m gonna get through the end of today, let alone… tomorrow…. or the rest of my life without her. I’m so damned confused and I wish to God that…..” His voice faded and his tears made a steady stream down his already moist cheeks, the pain of losing her overwhelming him completely.
Just as Abe and John completed the path that looped around the park and arrived back at the parking lot, a car came racing through the front entrance. It was Marlena’s car and John said hurriedly, “Oh, man here she comes, Abe I gotta go, thanks for listening!”
As he started to head toward his Jeep, Abe held his forearm, stopping him. “Wait, John maybe you should….”
“Maybe, I should what Abe? I told you there’s nothing more to say, she’s just going to try to convince me that we can make it work anyway and we’ve had that conversation already. I gotta go!” John pulled away and bolted toward the Jeep, but she had beaten him there and stood firmly, blocking his path to the door. He glared at her and then when she didn’t move he silently went around to the other door and again she blocked him from getting into the vehicle.
She touched his arm and he was surprised by the lack of effect it had this time, and just stared with detachment at her hand as she made another plea for him to stay, “John, please listen, we need to talk!”
He was getting mad now, “Doc, come on, there’s nothing left to say, you have to let me go!”
“Yes there is, John. Please listen to me!” She wasn’t going to give up and held his arm more firmly still.
John tried to gently nudge her aside so he could get in, but she wasn’t going to make it easy. “Marlena, look we’ve said all there is to say, you can’t tell me what I have prayed to hear all these months…. it’s over now, so please let me go! Don’t make this any harder than it already is….”
“No, John something wonderful has happened and you need to know about it because it might make all the difference in the world for our future!”
He was so frustrated and upset and just didn’t want to deal with it anymore, it was too painful. He asked her sarcastically, “What, Doc..are you going to tell me that a miracle has happened?” He tried once again to make her move, saying, “Marlena, unless you’ve come to tell me that God himself came down and touched your heart and took away all your doubts, then please just let me go now because it hurts too much to keep doing this! I have to…..” He had heard her say something as he spouted off at her, but it didn’t register fully at first.
John stopped, put his hands on her shoulders and asked her a question as he studied her face closely. She was smiling radiantly. ‘Now that is really strange,’ he thought and his eyes were wide with disbelief as her words began to penetrate. He asked, “What did you just say?”
She smiled warmly and looked directly at him, wanting him to see the depth of her sincerity and her joy, “I said, that is exactly what happened. God touched my heart.. and all the doubts, anger, and hurt feelings have disappeared. I feel total forgiveness toward you now, John! I love you and I hold no more blame or anger toward you for what happened with Kristen, God healed my heart!”
Gazing deeply into her glistening hazel eyes, he saw that what she said was true. She didn’t glance awkwardly away as she had all those other times. Instead, she really looked at him with that incredible… overwhelming expression of love, affection, and respect he once saw there and thought he never would again.. after what had happened with Kristen. “Oh my God, it’s true.. isn’t it? You’re not just saying it to convince me to stay with you, it really happened!” he exclaimed, a broad grin spreading across his face.
“Yes, John it really happened! God has healed my heart completely and now…” She was interrupted by his loud prayer of thanks.
“Oh, thank you, Lord! Thank you so much!” John lifted his head and his heart to the heavens and felt God’s peace flow into his heart and soul. Then he turned to Marlena and said with glee, “Oh, Marlena it *is* a miracle! I love you so much! Do you know what this means?” He picked her up and spun them both around in a circle, not allowing her to answer right away.
When he put her down she was smiling even more radiantly at him and she said, “Yes, John this means there’s going to be a wedding on Saturday afternoon.”
Still a little overcome with emotion, he said, “No, I mean, yes I mean….I have to call the travel agent and have her rebook the flights and everything else for the honeymoon! Oh, Doc! I am so deliriously happy!” he said, his hands cupping her beautiful face, just before leaning in for meaningful kiss.
Her hands were on his face as well, thrilled to have the opportunity, “So am I, John! I was so afraid of losing you forever today. I love you so much and I was scared we would never get another chance.”
John was filled with joy and thanksgiving and he picked her up again and twirled her around again saying repeatedly, “I love you! I love you! I love you…”
Abe Carver, who had watched the events unfold from afar decided it was safe to approach the couple now; he smiled and said to the air as he walked across the parking area, “Thank you God for answering their prayers. I’m so happy for them.” Then he went over to his friends and said rather cheerfully, “So, I guess this means the wedding is back on and we can all have a great party at your new house on Saturday?”
Marlena turned toward him and said excitedly, “Oh, yes it does, Abe. God answered our prayers, he touched my heart and all the pain, and uncertainty is gone forever. There is nothing I want more than to become Mrs. John Black two days from now!”
John was grinning from ear to ear to hear her talk about their wedding plans with such assurance and happiness in her voice. He looked at her and said, “Oh, Doc you have no idea how ecstatic I am at this moment! I can’t wait to take the vows with you in front of all our friends and family and to share my life with you! It was tearing my heart out to think of spending the rest of my life without you. You know I didn’t want to leave you, you know I didn’t, Doc…” he said, as if an apology were necessary.
She nodded, fully understanding of that fact, her tears welling up again, only this time out of joy and thanksgiving… “Yes, I know and it was killing me too. I could see how much anguish you were in when you left and I felt the same way. So, I turned myself completely over to God’s wisdom and power and he answered our prayers, honey. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I felt completely free to give myself to you in marriage with no reservations whatsoever, John.”
John was simply beaming. Marlena and Abe enjoyed sharing this moment of elation as he shouted out excitedly, “We’re having a wedding! We’re gonna have a wedding!” The three of them hugged each other for awhile, more than happy things were back on track.
Then, Abe said as he noticed the longing glances passing between his two friends, “Well, I think I’ll just leave you two alone..to uh…get along with your planning and…everything.”
“Uh…yea, thanks for all your support, it meant more than you can know,” said John sincerely, but somewhat absently as he looked at his fiancée with renewed love and passion.
Marlena, who was nearly glowing with elation, agreed, “Yes, Abe thank you for keeping him here long enough for me to talk to him.” She smiled and pulled John closer, “I didn’t want to spend another minute without him near me.”
Turning to look closely at Abe’s face which didn’t give anything away, he asked in surprise and a hint of mock offense, “You knew she was coming here to find me? You knew what happened before I told you the whole story? Abe how could…”
Glancing back toward Marlena, he searched her face as well. “Doc! you called him and asked him to keep me here? I can’t believe this…You two are…the most..” John paused for effect, letting them think he was angry with them and then he pulled them into a bear hug and finished his sentence with, “amazing and wonderful two people I have ever known! I love you both so very much, very…differently, but so much!”
He winked at Marlena with a sly seductiveness in his demeanor and then again looked at Abe saying, “Thank you, Abe.” and his friend smiled back and said, “Anytime partner, any time.”
It was time for Abe to go and he remembered something they had planned, hating to bring it up. But, knowing it couldn’t be avoided, he asked the question anyway, “Uh….I hate to even mention this at a time like this, but are you two still up for our operation tonight?”
John hated to have to do it, but if meant putting the evil man out of their lives forever, he was willing. “We’ll be there, Abe just like we planned… right, Doc?”
She hesitated for a second before answering firmly, “Right, just like we planned, John.”
Abe was reluctant to add the next sentence as well. “Good, but you know…chances are he won’t be fooled by it… word is he has been tipped off and probably won’t go for it at all. He probably has something else planned….”
John had a sudden inspiration, “Abe, what if we don’t…use a decoy? What if the decoy is the one waiting downstairs in the boardroom and Doc stays upstairs in the restaurant area while I go down there and wait? Maybe we can nail him if we change up on him!”
After taking time to absorb and consider the idea, Abe replied cautiously at first, “Well, it could work…I don’t know.” He thought for a few more seconds and then said more enthusiastically, “Let’s do it! I mean, it would be just like Stefano to try to take Marlena right out from under us by using our own plan against us. Maybe we can catch him at his own game!”
Wanting to make sure, John searched his fiancée’s face for signs of hidden fear, and gave her a chance to opt out, “Doc…you’re awfully quiet here, are you okay with this, because if you’re not, I don’t want to do it at all. Your safety is the most important part of all of this and if you’re scared or…” John’s protective nature was ever-present where she was concerned.
She cut him off… “I’m fine, John really. Let’s do what you’ve suggested and put that monster away forever!” She said it with vigor and John knew she was alright with the plan.
Abe said, “Okay, then. I’ll see you in a couple of hours at the Grill, 7:30 sharp. Congratulations again you two, I’m very happy that you worked this out today… with God’s help. I know you belong together!”
“Thanks, Abe!” they said with twin smiles and arms around each other’s waists. Then John added with a growing feeling of confidence, “We know we belong together too, and nothing is going to stand between us and our happiness, not ever again!”
“And that’s a fact!” said Marlena in an imitation of John’s voice. The three of them laughed heartily about that one. And then Abe walked over to his car and drove off toward the Salem Police Department to go over the final preparations to capture Stefano Dimera. Putting that monster away before the wedding would truly be the proverbial icing on the cake for John and Marlena. Finally, they would be able to live out their lives in peace, free from the fear of reprisals. Abe could think of no one more deserving of some lasting happiness than these two good friends and he made a solemn vow to ensure they had the chance.
As Abe drove off into the distance, John picked Marlena up off the ground again almost shouting with glee, “This is incredible! I was so….devastated to think I’d lost you forever…and now…Oh, Doc I love you SO much and I can’t wait until I can call you Mrs. Black!”
“I know….I thought it was over forever too and I had no idea how I was going to make it without you, John.” She was quiet for a moment and then said as she twirled the engagement ring around her finger, “Mrs. Black…Oh man do I like the sound of that, say it again!”
“Mrs. Black….you’re going to be Mrs. Marlena Evans-Black, my wife, my spouse, my….everything in less than two days and I am absolutely overjoyed!!” John kissed her passionately and held her close to him.
“Alright….oh…that sounds so wonderful, John.” Her voice was soft and filled with contentment. All the tension and any awkwardness between them had vanished; it showed in her expression and the way her body seemed more relaxed in his arms. All was right with their relationship and all seemed right with the world for the moment. But they both knew that very soon they had to face the reality of the evil presence that had plagued them from the very beginnings of their relationship, Stefano Dimera.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In addition, there was still the matter of Kristen, who had clearly not given up her obsession with John, as evidenced by the confrontation with Marlena at the Pub just a couple of weeks ago. Not to mention the strange phone calls they had been getting, as if the caller were checking to see when someone was home, when Marlena was at the office, etc.
Kristen had only approached John and Marlena briefly on a few occasions since then, but there was always an eerie quality to what she said, and the double meanings of her words scared Marlena. She believed Kristen was still working with Stefano on some plan to get John back by using force and brainwashing, and she was very frightened for his safety.
John, on the other hand, kept saying that Kristen wasn’t a real threat and discounted her weird ramblings as part of her delusional thinking that he would come back to her in spite of his very clear declarations of love for Marlena. He was focused only on taking down Stefano and ensuring the monster would be imprisoned for life. Despite his earlier fears that maybe she would go after Marlena, John now believed the Kristen situation would be completely resolved at that point because he thought she could never orchestrate the kind of elaborate plans Stefano had used in the past, without the help of the Old Man himself. Kristen would probably fold up her tent and leave town if Stefano were captured and jailed for his long list of crimes against John and Marlena, and too many others to mention.
John had no idea just how determined she was to win, not necessarily to actually win his heart, but to take him away from the woman she hated. Kristen would do anything to accomplish that goal. She still didn’t accept the reality that he had actually chosen her rival before he knew the lengths to which she had gone to keep him. Kristen was fixated on the idea that Marlena had poisoned his mind to make him leave her. She planned to change that situation either by explaining so he would understand and return to her, or by brainwashing him to believe in her again, to make him love her again. She truly didn’t care which way it happened so long as he was in her arms again, and in her bed.
Her hold on reality was slipping on a daily basis. She prepared herself for their reunion by spending the afternoon at a beauty salon for manicure, pedicure, herbal wraps, new hairdo, ‘The works.’ She was making herself beautiful for their first night together, which was planned for Friday evening. Kristen was lying on her back, with her face covered by a hot towels to soften and open the pores. The experience was highly sensual….and she drifted off in her mind to some of the most wonderful memories of her time with John; mostly involving sexual encounters.
She thought to herself, I know how to please him, I know what he really wants. That wench doesn’t have a clue what to do for him, she’s too restrained and uptight for John! She would never have sex in the wine cellar like we did, she would never wear the sexy lingerie he likes so much. No, I am the only one who can really make him happy and satisfy his sexual desires, and I’m going to get him back no matter what it takes. Don’t worry, John I will steal you away from her and once we’re together again, you’ll forget all about her. I will bring you such pleasure, John! Thinking of them together left her feeling turned on and she longed to be with him again. “Soon, Kristen, soon,” she told herself reassuringly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, it was getting closer to the time to head out to the Penthouse Grille and John and Marlena were back at the house supervising the movers as they brought the last items into the house from the truck. Marlena was amazed at how quickly they unloaded and got the furniture arranged and had to comment. “John, how in the world did you find this crew, and how is it that they can get the job done so quickly?”
John smiled at her and then held his thumb and forefinger close together and rubbed them together in the gesture that indicated it was a financial issue. “Money talks, Doc. I paid each man on the crew double time and a half to get the job done by this evening. I want everything in place so that you can have one day without all the craziness that has surrounded this whole wedding and move.”
She hugged him tightly saying, “Did I tell you how wonderful you are…say in the last half hour or so?”
“Yes, but you can tell me again if you want to, I won’t get tired of hearing it. Especially after what we just put ourselves through today. I’m just so thrilled the wedding is actually going to happen,” he said, with a wry smile.
“I’ll second that one, we went from joy to despair and back again all in one day, pretty wild isn’t it?” She smiled one of those wonderful, heart melting smiles that turned his insides to mush.
“Well, one thing you can say about it is, our love sure isn’t going to be dull! When we have good times it’s incredible and when we have trouble it’s excruciatingly painful and when we make up….well….words can’t begin to describe it!”
“Ahhh, I like the sound of that…So, after we handle this plan of yours tonight what do you say to making up…oh say…maybe in that new bedroom upstairs there?” She had that seductive expression in her dancing eyes, and he almost swooned just to look at her. Without a word, he pulled her into a passionate embrace again.
Then he stopped to answer her question, “If you didn’t bring it up I was going to try to convince you it was absolutely necessary. I mean after all, making up isn’t really official until you do the kissing part, right, Doc?”
She chuckled and said, “Oh, definitely not, John I agree. Making up in the truest sense requires some time in a horizontal position, except…we were going to have at least one night without being together before the wedding, weren’t we?”
“Whoa, wait a minute, my love…who was it who so flagrantly violated that agreement earlier to convince her fiancée that they could work things out and stay together by using her incredibly sexy body and his intense desire for her to persuade him to stay?” He winked to make sure she knew he wasn’t really holding that against her.
Marlena smiled shyly and said as she started to walk toward the deck on the back of the house. “Well, I…uh…didn’t know what else to do to make him realize just how much I really loved him. And, I….wanted to remind him of the amazingly strong bond of love we always shared when we opened ourselves to the passion that exists between us. And…it was pretty wonderful sharing that love wasn’t it?”
John took her in another embrace and kissed her with intensity and then when he pulled out of it he said, “Marlena, there aren’t words to describe how intensely pleasurable that lovemaking was for me. You…took me to a place I’ve never been before with the love you gave me. You…are all I want, all I need, all I’ll *ever* want and need in my life, baby!” he said while running his fingers through her irresistibly touchable silky hair.
“Ooooh, how I do like hearing you say that, John! You please me the same way, you stir passions in me that I didn’t know were there before I met you, honey. You are all the man I’ll ever need!”
“Good because you’re stuck with me, there is no backing out now, we are getting married in less than 48 hours, nothing is gonna stop us now!”
“There is nothing in this world that could make me happier than that. I cannot wait to walk down the aisle to you, John. It feels like a dream to me sometimes and I can hardly believe that it is actually going to happen for us again… after all this time.”
He put his arms around her from behind, rested his head against her shoulder, nuzzled her neck and took in her sensuous aroma as the couple gazed out over the lake. “I feel the same way, Doc. Sometimes at night when I wake up after dreaming I have to reach over and touch you to make sure you’re really there with me in bed. I had convinced myself I could live without you and somehow accepted the fact that I would never have you next to me again; it still seems so unreal sometimes. I’m just so incredibly happy.”
“Oh, me too, honey. I am filled with joy and peace when I think of being married to you and raising the children together. You know it really is a dream, a dream of ours that is finally about to come true.”
John nodded and turned her around to kiss her once more, drawing her nearer to his body again. He couldn’t get close enough. After glancing down at his watch and realizing if they didn’t stop at this juncture, the operation designed to rid their lives of Stefano wouldn’t come to fruition, he changed the subject completely. “Well, I hate to be the one to say it, but we better get to the Penthouse to change and then head over to the Grille for this plan of ours. I sure hope we can get him this time, Marlena.”
“So do I, John. More than you can ever know. That sick…monster seems to take his obsession further all the time and I shudder to think…” A slight shiver ran down her spine and she cut off the train of thought, “No, I don’t want to talk about that. Let’s just take him down this time, John!”
He nodded but said nothing further. They turned and left the property, silently thinking how nice it would be not to have to worry about that evil madman finding a way to circumvent their security system.
Marlena was putting the finishing touches on her hair and makeup, at the same time as John finished dressing in his tuxedo for the fancy meal at the Penthouse Grille. This was not a night when they would just get to enjoy the pleasure of each other’s company, so he decided they could have a moment beforehand. He came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist. As he nuzzled her neck and beautiful flowing hair of gold, he said, “Hi, baby..if you haven’t figured out exactly what jewelry to wear with this new and incredibly sexy dress you’re wearing, I have a suggestion for you.” He said it in a way that peaked her curiosity.
“Oh, you have a suggestion about jewelry? Now I must say John that is a first, exactly which piece do you think would go best?” she said, leaning backward into his embrace, comforted by the warmth and strength of his arms around her.
Admiring her gorgeous body in an obvious manner, as he stepped around to face her, her husband to be said, “Well, first I have to say that you don’t need to wear any at all because you take my breath away without any adornment whatsoever. But.. if you are going to wear some you could wear those pearls, they always go well with about anything, or you could wear that pendant, you know the one you wore a couple of weeks back when we were at Chez Vous?”
“Hmm, difficult choice, so what do suggest?” she asked him, wondering where this was leading and feeling a little bit hopeful for a surprise.
“Hmm, I’m not sure, I wish there were something…with just the right..touch.” John then reached into his pocket and pulled out a long black velvet jewelry box. “Well, what do you know, the last guy who rented this tux must have forgotten to give this to the woman of his dreams…Lucky for us. I wonder if what’s in here will go with that dress, what do you think the chances are, Doc…” he teased, holding it above his head, just out of her reach.
Marlena practically leaped toward him and snatched it out of his hand saying, “We better check, there’s no sense in letting a nice piece of jewelry going un-worn..” She opened it to find a beautiful necklace of diamonds and gold that was obviously perfect for the dress, it was simply exquisite and she smiled with pure joy and then kissed John passionately. “How is it that you know exactly what will please me so? This is so beautiful, John but why now?” she said, nearly breathless.
Taking her in his arms again, planting a soft kiss on her lips, he gave her the reason, with a slightly wistful sigh, “Oh, I just wanted you to have something to make this night special, since it’s going to be spent trying to get the Old Man.” Stroking her hair, and caressing her cheeks, he shared his wishes.. “A night that if I had any sense at all, I would be spending here with you, making mad passionate love and telling you in a hundred different ways how ecstatic I am to be marrying you in a day or so.”
Her heart melted at the love shining in his azure eyes, “Oh, John just being with you is special, you don’t have to keep spoiling me with gifts, you know. I love you for who you are, not what your money can buy for me.”
He looked at her with overwhelming love and respect and said, “I know that and that is exactly why I want to spoil you, because you don’t expect it or demand anything from me except to love you. I want to show you how much I love you in so many ways, one of which is to buy you spectacular jewelry to compliment your breathtaking natural beauty.”
She blushed at that and said, “Oh, John …you touch me so..I love you so very much, thank you for the necklace, would you put it on me, please?”
“Of course, honey.” John proceeded to help her, finding it more than difficult to resist the temptation to undress her and make love to her. His heart racing, his breath quickening, he had to step back for a minute. “Woah, Doc…I…think we better get going now or I’m not going to be able to hold back, with you looking so… amazing in that dress,” he finished, shaking his head in wonder. “Let’s go, okay?”
Marlena chuckled and said, “Well, with everything we’ve been through it’s nice to know that some things never change, John.” Then she kissed him with the promise of more to follow when the evening’s project was completed, and they were back home alone together.
She left him to go downstairs and he stood there running his fingertips around his lips where hers had just been, thinking...’Yea, some things never do change…whew…’ He had to shake his head to clear it…. and then he took a deep breath and said to himself out loud, “Okay John, get it together here, you have to be ready for anything tonight, you never know what Dimera will try to pull.”
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John had arranged for a limousine to take them to the Grille for the evening and they met up with Abe and Lexie for their supposed celebratory dinner with two of their closest friends. Abe was to be the best man and Lexie a bridesmaid. It only made sense to have a special dinner like this a day or so before the wedding. The decoy was originally to switch with Marlena and stay for dinner with John until he was *called away* with Abe and Lexie planning to leave shortly afterward. The lookalike was to stay for one last glass of wine while waiting for John to return, but then a phone call would come in, telling her John wasn’t returning and she should meet him at home. She then planned to leave the restaurant with only one guard following, a lapse in coverage happening through a series of mishaps, thus leaving her vulnerable to Stefano, who was supposed to think it was actually Marlena. The hope was originally that if he were indeed in Salem, Dimera would get wind of the situation, and make the attempt to take her. Then, at last the demented bastard would be caught in the act, and subsequently punished for his numerous crimes.
However, Abe and John knew that Stefano had been tipped off about their plan, so they decided to change up. It was going to be Marlena herself who stayed in the restaurant, and the decoy was going to be downstairs with John, who would then double back quickly if all was well. They thought Stefano might have planned to try and get Marlena by following her down to the boardrooms, even if John might be there too. Stefano was getting desperate, with his obsession growing more intense as time passed. Therefore, John hoped they were right about the Old Man, that he would make a mistake allowing them to apprehend him and have Marlena safe, who would in actuality be very carefully watched as she went out of the building.
As the limo pulled up to the Titan Complex, John glanced over at Marlena and saw one hand clenched in a tiny fist. She was trying hard to hide her fear. “Doc, are you sure you’re okay with this? Because we can call it off, right now or any time you get scared, I mean that,” said John as he moved to embrace her, his tone full of loving compassion and understanding.
She was trembling slightly, but said, “Yes, I’m worried about all of this, and no, I don’t want to call it off. This may be our best chance to eliminate that sick madman from our lives forever. I want that more than anything, John.”
“Okay then, let’s go give that bastard a run for his money!” He put his arm around her shoulder and guided her toward the entrance, pausing briefly to take a look around the building. He felt that eerie sense he often had when Stefano was near; instinctively, he knew the monstrous man was going to make a move, just as they’d surmised he would. ‘We’re gonna nail you Old Man, this time we’re gonna nail you!’ he vowed quietly as they made their way toward the elevator that would take them up to the Penthouse Grille.
A short time later, Abe Lexie, John, and Marlena were somewhat nervously enjoying a nice meal when Marlena said, “Well, I think I am going to freshen up a bit if you’ll excuse me.” She went toward the restrooms and when she was out of sight, the decoy went on down to the boardroom area. Then Marlena soon came back out to sit at the table, with Stefano thinking she was now the decoy, he wouldn’t be close enough to see the difference between the two women.
Then within fifteen minutes, John was suddenly called away saying, “It will only be a little while, Marlena please wait.”
Again, after another twenty minutes, Abe and Lexie announced that they needed to go because Abe was supposedly called away on police business, responding to a fake page on his beeper.
When they asked her if she would like to leave with them, Marlena replied with elevated volume, “No, that’s okay, you go on ahead. I’m just going to sit here and enjoy my glass of wine and wait for John to come back.”
She sat quietly and tried to look as though she were enjoying the atmosphere while waiting the allotted time for the contrived phone call telling her that John would have to meet her at home. After saying to the waiter that her plans had changed, she would wait only a minute or two before standing up to walk toward the elevators in order to have Stefano and/or his henchmen follow. Even knowing there would be several very discreetly positioned plain clothed officers following her as she exited the restaurant and then the building, she still felt her nearly overwhelming fear of the man getting to her. ‘Oh, John I don’t want us to be apart during this plan of ours.’ she said mentally.
John went on down to the boardroom soon after the woman who looked remarkably like Marlena with her hair done the same way, including tinted contacts, and an excellent make-up job. He was amazed by how much she did look like Marlena; it was almost scary. As he approached the room where she was supposed to be, he peered around the corner and saw the woman lying down on the floor. He raced to her side, finding her unconscious. As he checked her pulse and pulled out his cell phone, he heard a sound behind him. ‘It must be the cop sent down to follow me,’ he thought.
As he turned to speak to the man, he was met by the face of Stefano Dimera which registered for the split second before he was hit forcefully with the butt of a gun on the right side of his head, very near the ear. John went out instantly with the blow, blood beginning to stain the carpet immediately after his already unconscious body landed hard on the carpeted floor.
Stefano stood over him for a minute or so saying, “What a fool you are, John! But alas, we will have to finish our game later, I have to go to my love and take her away.” Goodbye for now, John! It’s a pity I won’t get to hear your cries of agony when you wake up and realize you have lost Marlena forever!’
Meanwhile upstairs, all appeared to be going as planned. Marlena was finishing the wine and was about to stand to walk out of the restaurant to head for the elevators. Stefano was off the elevator from the lower levels of the building within a minute after he knocked out his enemy. Now, he stood inconspicuously near the front entrance to Titan…a small European car waiting nearby with another henchman to help him take her away. After what seemed like an eternity, the vision of beauty with whom he was obsessed, appeared to him. There was one guard following her and he thought it would be easy to take her, but he was so focused on Marlena herself that he didn’t notice several cars full of cops who were watching them. Just as he was about to take her.. he saw some movement out of the corner of his eye and decided he might have to abort the attempt..
He was within two feet of her when Marlena sensed his presence and screamed. “No, Stefano… I won’t go with you!” At the sound of terror, the cops started coming out of the woodwork, and Stefano ran for the car, which sped of into the darkness, several unmarked police cruisers in hot pursuit. Lexie planned to stay behind while Abe joined in the chase, after pausing briefly to ensure that Marlena was alright.
Somewhat anxiously scanning their surroundings, Marlena asked about her fiancée, “Abe…. where’s John… I thought he was supposed to be doubling back and coming back up here if everything checked out downstairs.”
Glancing back toward the entrance, he tried not to be concerned, though he’d wondered too. “It probably just took him a little longer than he planned to get down there, check the situation out and make it back up here. I’m sure he’ll turn up any minute, don’t worry about him. Listen, I’ll see you later.. I have to go after Stefano. We can’t let him get away this time!”
“He tells me not to worry.. of course why should I worry about the man I love when the man who hates him was just here trying to take me away. Lexie, this isn’t like John at all. He was set on being as close to me as possible in order to protect me. Let’s go back inside and look for him. I’m afraid something has happened to him!” Marlena felt a rising sense of fear and panic about what might have caused the delay.
Down in the boardroom, ironically the same one where John and Marlena had one night of fiery passion during the Face of the Nineties’ Contest, John was still unconscious, which was a good thing. Because if he were to awaken, his head would be a mass of throbbing pain. The blood was seeping rapidly from the wound and the Marlena lookalike, who had recovered from the blow to her head now stood over him. Wondering if he were alive, she knelt down to check his pulse and then the lights went out again. The blow felled her quickly; she never saw it coming.
Another figure pushed her limp body out of the way and leaned down next to the injured man. “Oh, John….you’re so badly hurt, what am I going to do now? How in the world am I going to get you out of here?” she asked the air. As she was asking herself these questions and trying to decide on a course of action, she heard voices coming down the hall toward the room. The woman had to hide, but where? The only place was under the conference table; she hoped they wouldn’t see her there. Oh damn it all! Now I have to wait and try again to take him tomorrow, I was so hoping to have him with me tonight instead. Damm you Marlena for taking him away from me in the first place and damn you too, Stefano! You said you wouldn’t hurt him unless you had no choice!
Marlena saw that the man she loved was injured as soon as she opened the conference room door. She rushed to his side, feeling for a pulse. It was weak and rapid. His breathing was somewhat shallow, and the head wound was bleeding steadily. Marlena knew she had to stop it quickly. “Oh, not again, John!” she cried fearing for his life.
Lexie, checked on the woman and went to call 911. When she finished with that she informed Marlena of her plans, “I’ll go look for some towels down here and call up to the restaurant and have them bring some down.”
She picked up the phone to make the call while Marlena took her wrap and pressed it against John’s bleeding head. “John, honey can you hear me? John, baby!” There was no response, he was out cold. “Stefano did this, damn him!” Marlena kept up the pressure and held John close to her body, hoping to ward off shock.. “Just hold on, honey! you’ll be okay, just hold on!”
Marlena looked up as her friend returned with the towels and asked her, “Lexie, how bad do you think this is?” She asked knowing it was not possible to determine much with all the blood around the injury.
Lexie kneeled down, took a good look at the wound and replied honestly, “I don’t know Marlena, there’s quite a lot of blood. We’ll just have to wait until we get him to the hospital and he can be examined thoroughly. I’m sorry about.. everything. I can’t help but feel guilty about this somehow.”
“No, don’t Lexie, what that….sick man does has nothing to do with you. He is your biological parent, but he hasn’t had any influence on your life, you are nothing like him and you never will be Lexie. You have to know that and believe it!”
She nodded and said, “You’re right, I guess I just get scared sometimes that he is going to focus on me next, to try to entice me to his ways with material things.. but that can’t happen unless I allow it.”
Marlena turned her attention back to John.. his body was shaking. “He’s going into shock and we need to keep him warm!” In the next second, the ambulance technicians arrived and one man, having overheard her said, “We have blankets, we’ll take care of him now.”
The two men worked swiftly. Their patient was on the gurney and on his way to the hospital within moments. Marlena rode with John, and Lexie went back up to see if Abe had returned. “We’ll see you at the hospital shortly, Marlena. Try not to worry too much, okay?”
With a weak smile and a shaky voice she said as she climbed into the ambulance, “Okay, Lexie..I’ll try..I just can’t believe that monster could do this and then get away again, I pray Abe catches him.” Lexie nodded and waved as the vehicle drove off.
Kristen watched while the ambulance technicians carried both John and the injured woman out on stretchers and then patiently waited until Marlena and Lexie were well gone before quietly slipping out of the boardroom. Nobody would ever know she was even there, or the lengths to which she would go to take back the object of her affections, “that is until it is too late to stop me, Doc!” she said triumphantly to herself when they were long gone.
John was still unconscious upon arrival at Salem University Hospital and Mike Horton who had been off duty, came in when he heard about what had happened. He arrived about twenty minutes after John and the police woman. He came out of the examining room to an anxious group of friends, and one very worried fiancée. He held up his hands at the flurry of questions saying, “It’s too soon to tell, there was a significant amount of bleeding and the wound is quite swollen at the moment. He is still unconscious and he’s headed down for an MRI any second now. It’s possible there is a skull fracture and there may be some hearing damage based on where the blow was struck. That’s all I can say right now. I’ll let you know when there’s more to tell.”
“Mike, can I go with him, please?” asked Marlena, not wanting to be separated for even a little while longer.
“Marlena, you won’t be able to get near him anyway, please just wait here while we run the testing procedures? Then you can see him, okay?”
She turned to see Laura who had just come in as well and she melted in to her friend’s arms. “I can’t believe this is happening….It wasn’t supposed to be him that was in harm’s way…” Oh, please God, take care of him! she prayed silently.
“I’m so sorry, Marlena, but he’ll be okay! He won’t let anything stop him from marrying you, you know that. He’ll be there if someone has to stand there and hold him in an upright position.”
Marlena flashed on an image of Abe and Bo standing in the church, literally holding John up and him slightly dazed, but smiling at her with all the love he felt shining in his eyes. “Yes, I guess you’re right, Laura. We have waited so long to be together and been through so much that he won’t let something like this stop him, will he?” She wasn’t quite sure as the injury could be serious.
“No, he won’t darlin…he has always loved you very much and nothing will keep him from marrying you Marlena!” It was Shawn Brady and he came over and gave her a big hug for moral support.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It wasn’t long before Mike returned. Sighing with relief, he voiced the outcome thus far, “Well, the results are in…it looks like there is a pretty severe concussion, but no skull fracture. He’s going to be extremely sore, to put it mildly, and we’ll have to keep him at least overnight, but I believe he’s going to be okay.”
There was a collective sigh, and then Marlena said, “Can I see him now? Is he conscious yet?”
“No, he hasn’t come around yet, but I think he will soon because there were a few flickers of movement in his eyelids when I left him to come out here. And, yes you can see him now,” answered Mike.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The others waited as she left to go to the man she loved, and Laura said to no one in particular, “Thank God, I don’t think those two could stand to have anything delay this wedding after everything that has happened to them.”
Lexie was nodding her head in agreement and saying, “You’re so right,” and then under her breath said, “and you don’t know the half of it.” Then she quietly pulled Laura aside and whispered, “Did you hear they almost broke up for good, earlier today?”
“No, what happened Lexie?” She was incredulous as she had talked with Marlena just that morning and the woman was simply thrilled that she would be marrying John on Saturday.
“Well, you know how worried they have both been about Stefano…and that Abe and John had this plan all set to catch him. John and Marlena were talking about it on the phone and I guess Marlena became quite upset and withdrew into herself, she was crying and stopped talking to John. He apparently raced over there and when she calmed down he said he thought she was having a problem with her fears and should talk to someone, professionally. She got upset and then she said something about how would he know because she’s the psychiatrist and that he wasn’t even able to figure out that his own fiancée wasn’t really pregnant…or something like that.”
“Oh, no…and John reacted strongly because there has been such confusion and turmoil about whether on not Marlena has truly forgiven him, right?”
“Exactly…they fought and he asked her twice if she could look him in the eye and say she had no doubts or anger….and she couldn’t do it. So, he told her they couldn’t marry under that kind of uncertainty, that it wouldn’t be right for either of them. Marlena said they were both completely torn up about it and I guess Abe had called John, not knowing what had happened. When he heard John’s voice he went to straight to this park where John was sitting in the Jeep. I guess he was a total wreck about it!”
“Wow! that’s horrible..so what happened? How in the world did they reconcile after that?”
“Well, Marlena told me tonight at dinner that she was so upset and afraid of losing John forever that she got down on her knees and asked God to heal her heart of her lingering doubts and to fill her heart with forgiveness and…he did! She felt the burden lift from her shoulders and then she ran to tell John and they got back together!”
“That is truly amazing, I guess their love really is meant to be…that’s wonderful and now…this….life has been cruel to those two so often.”
“Yes, but John will be okay like you said and he’ll be there to say I do when the time comes, that is what counts.”
“You are so right, Lexie they will be together in the long run and there is nothing that Stefano or Kristen can do to break their bond of love. Alice is right, no matter what pain and suffering come along the way, true love does win out in the end!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marlena quietly entered the darkened room where the man she loved was completely still and unconscious. She walked over near the bed and looked down at him, his head was bandaged and he was so bruised already…”Oh, my sweet, John…always getting hurt trying to keep me safe…I wonder how many times you can get hit on the head and not have serious damage.. must be that thick skull we always joke about, right baby?”
Nothing happened at first and then his eyes opened and with a weak voice he said, “Who says I have a thick skull, what exactly are you implying Marlena Evans, soon to be Black?”
She smiled with joy and kissed him all over the face in between expressing her relief, “Oh… John, you’re awake, that’s wonderful!” When she saw him grimace she realized she’d said it too loud. “Oh, I’m sorry sweety, I’ll be a little quieter. How are you feeling?”
“Oh….lucky to wake up to your pretty face, even if it is a little blurry right now.” Touching the back of his head where the bandage covered his wound he said, “Oh man, it feels like someone smashed my head with sledge hammer. It was Stefano, Doc. I’m so glad you’re okay. Tell me… did they get him?”
“I don’t know, Abe and all his people went off in hot pursuit and we haven’t heard anything yet.”
He sighed heavily as he re positioned himself. “Oh, am I tired of these games. I want to take that bastard down for good, but I’m beginning to think it will never happen and that the only way to end this thing is for him to die.” Seeing her worried expression he added further explanation, “I know, I know it scares you when I talk like that, Doc but come on, how many times have we thought he was going to stay in prison or that he was dead only to be hurt by him again?”
“Oh, honey…I just don’t like to see the rage in your eyes and the tension in your body. I worry for you…I’m so afraid if you ever face off with him directly again, he’ll…kill you, John!”
“Don’t worry, Marlena I won’t let that happen, I won’t let him…or his so-called daughter ruin our happiness. I promise you, nothing they try to do is going to prevent us from getting married and sharing our lives together!” John pulled her into a kiss of reassurance. It was meant to indicated that what he said was indeed true and that the bump on his head was no real problem, nor even much of a hindrance to intimacy.
She pulled out of the embrace and confronted him with the reality of what had just taken place, “John, you just got slammed on the back of the head, apparently with the butt of a gun! That alone could have killed you! You simply can’t make those kinds of promises where Stefano is concerned, or Kristen for that matter. I’m…afraid for you and I want you to promise me you won’t go after him again, not ever!”
“But, Doc if I don’t do anything we’ll always be looking over our shoulders …wondering when he’s suddenly going to reappear and terrorize us or the people we love. Can you really live that way?”
She didn’t have an answer for him, she just knew she was terrified at the thought of John pursuing the evil monster who had plagued them both for much more than a decade now. “I don’t know, John….I’m so tired of all of it too, but if I lost you because you went after him…then where would I be? vulnerable to him anyway…and you would have…died for nothing!”
He sighed and pulled her close again saying, “There is no good answer is there, Doc? Either way…we risk..a lot.” He was silent for a minute, contemplative. Then he said in rising anger tinged with fear, “No, we are not going to just sit here and wait for them to hurt us! I’m sorry, Doc but I just can’t let it keep happening, I have to do something about him. I don’t know exactly what that is, but…I swear I’m not going to let him get near you…not ever again!” John grimaced with the pain resulting from the sound of his own raised voice and he stopped to look in her face. What he saw there made him even more determined to eliminate the evil presence that had haunted them both for literally as long as he could remember.
It wasn’t long before the throbbing pain of the injury started to wear on him and he had to lay back, swiftly beginning to fade out again. His eyes rolled back in his head and he slumped against the pillow. “John? honey, are you okay? John!” Marlena shook him lightly and got no response…”Oh, no, John…wake up again, please tell me you’re okay, baby!” Again there was no response from him, he was apparently unconscious. Oh, John….when will this nightmare ever end? Marlena went to get Mike and tell him what just happened, hoping John had just fallen asleep.
As she came back out into the waiting area, she was in tears again and they all wondered whether John suddenly had taken a turn for the worse. Laura and Maggie approached her, “Marlena…what is it, honey?”
“We were talking and he seemed fine, he got upset about Stefano and he was so determined about stopping him…and then he suddenly went out on me. I’m just a little worried, that’s all.”
Mike touched her shoulder and said, “I’ll go check on him, why don’t you let someone get you a cup of coffee or tea and take a break for a few minutes, okay Marlena?”
She relented and sat down wearily on a chair, waiting for Lexie to come back with some tea, Salem’s favorite beverage for any crisis situation. Maggie and Laura sat next to her, Maggie placing an arm over her good friend’s shoulder. Mike came back out a little while later saying that John was just resting comfortably, all neurological signs were normal and they again breathed a collective sigh of relief.
Shawn and Caroline left to go and relieve Carrie and Austin of babysitting duties. Sami had stayed home with Will. Marlena stayed by John’s bedside until Laura, Maggie, Mike and Lexie practically dragged her out and convinced her to at least stay and rest on the couch in her own office. The others took shifts staying with John as that was the only way she would agree to it. They had all decided to stay and support their friends anyway, so it was no problem to rotate through anyway.
John was resting comfortably for most of the night, but while Laura was there, he started to become agitated in his sleep and tossed and turned enough that she was concerned he might bump his head hard enough to cause damage. He was dreaming, that much was obvious…”No, don’t take her…No, I won’t let you take her!” Clearly he was dreaming about his fears of Stefano coming for Marlena again and being injured even slightly was enough to make him feel more vulnerable about it. Then he was on to something else before it really registered with the tired Laura what she was hearing. He called out again about something of which she had no prior knowledge.
“No…Kristen, don’t do this! You can’t make me love you, I love Marlena and I always will. Nothing you can do or say will change that…” He was quiet for a minute, as if something else was happening in the dream…”No! don’t…. don’t do this to me! No, Kristen this is…wrong…NO!” He was becoming very upset and as Laura moved to wake him he sat upright in bed, his eyes flew open and were wide with sheer terror. “Oh, my God…” he said as he thought of what he had just remembered and dreamed. His breathing was rapid and shallow, his heart pounding hard against the walls of his chest…and he shuddered with residual anxiety. “Whoa.. that was…intense.”
Laura waited long enough for him to calm down and for reality to fully register before saying, “Hi, John do you want to tell me what that was all about? or should I get Marlena?”
Shaking his head he blew out a weary sigh as he labored to hide the after shocks. “No, don’t get Marlena, she needs the rest, she is sleeping right?”
“Yes she is, but John… that was obviously a very upsetting dream, will you tell me what has you so shaken up?”
“No, that’s okay Laura, just a bad dream about Stefano coming after Marlena again, same old thing.” He tried to dismiss her, but she was a lot like Marlena when she wanted to help someone and didn’t give up easily when the other person offered some resistance.
“Yes, the first one was about Stefano, but it was the second one that has you so upset, John.” She quickly reached for a hand and held it out, it was trembling.
Laura had caught him and he was embarrassed by it and pulled the hand away quickly, “That’s just because the head injury has me a little shaky, that’s all, Laura. Really, leave this alone…please.”
“John, there is obviously something Kristen has done to you that you’re…worried about and you just dreamed about it, please let me help you with it, John.”
Again, he shook his head, “No, but thanks for your concern. It was just a bad dream, that’s all… and nothing like it will ever happen, so don’t be concerned, alright?” John tried hard to put on a demeanor that matched his words, but there were some nonverbal signals he sent out that tipped her off he was lying to her. The dream had disturbed him immensely, and she sensed Marlena would know something about it.
“Okay, if you’re sure, John. Listen, I’m going to go get Maggie and let her know you’re awake right now. We all promised Marlena we would take turns watching you in order to get her to agree to sleep on the couch in her office. She saw his concern and quickly added, “The security people are right outside her office door, keeping a close eye on her, John.”
His sigh this time was one of relief, “Okay, that’s good, you know her safety is the most important thing in the world to me, Laura.”
“Yes, I know it is John. And yours is to her too, you know?”
“Yea, I guess it is, but I worry so much about her, Stefano is so sick and she seems more vulnerable somehow.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that, she’s one strong and independent lady and she’s pretty good at surviving difficult situations, John.”
“Yes, she is and her strength literally amazes me sometimes. I admire that quality…and so many others…she’s everything to me, Laura and I want to thank you for being such a good friend to her all that time when I….didn’t see what she was going through because of Kristen…and me. And, if I haven’t said it enough, thank you for forgiving me for doubting you. I regret that so much.”
“You are welcome John on both counts. You just make Marlena happy and that will be all the thanks I need. You two are destined to be together, today proved that.” She hesitated only briefly and said, “Lexie mentioned what happened between you and I’m so glad that it worked out…that God helped you both. It appears you have his blessing.”
He was beaming now. “Yes, it does and believe me… we are both very grateful. We thought it was over…funny how things can change so quickly, how uncertain life can be.”
“That is so true, John…I’m glad you weren’t badly hurt tonight, and that Marlena is safe. I just wish…” She stopped, remembering he hadn’t heard the news about his best friend.
“What, Laura? Did he get away again?” John asked, his gut telling him it was more than that.
“Yes, he did and.. Oh, John, I don’t know how to tell you this, it’s.. Abe, he was….”
Panic set in, “What happened Laura, just tell me.”
“Well, he was hurt too, it seems…that they had Stefano cornered and Abe was…shot by Stefano’s driver as they tried to get away in a helicopter they had waiting on the outskirts of town. The henchman was shot and killed, but Stefano got away.”
His belly churning with acid, he asked for details, “Oh, God…how bad? Tell me, Laura! How bad was it?”
“He’s still in surgery, it could go either way, there was a lot of blood loss. “
John was stunned; nothing had ever happened to Abe because of his battles with the Old Man. He was reeling and the words came tumbling out, “Oh, no.. not Abe! And Lexie, how’s she holding up? I have to go to her, why didn’t anybody tell me before? Oh man what if he…”
He began to climb out of the bed, but Laura held him back with her hands on both of his shoulders. “No, way John, you have a severe concussion and you shouldn’t be up and running around. You need to take it easy right now, especially if you expect to get married on Saturday.”
Another thought stuck him, making his heart ache. “Oh… the wedding…he’s my best man, how can I get married if…..oh Abe…” He paused a minute, put a shaky hand on her arm then said, “Listen, Laura would you please ask Lexie to come on in here so I can at least talk to her, comfort her, maybe tell her how much I care about him ?”
“Yes, of course, John…and please hang in there…he’s strong too.”
Nodding, he forced himself to think more positively, “Yea, he is, I’m counting on that. Thanks again, Laura…for everything.” She nodded but said nothing further before leaving the room.
John sighed and laid his aching head back against the pillows. “Oh, Abe…I never thought you would get hurt because of that madman’s sick obsession for Doc.” Worried, John turned to his Lord in prayer, “Oh, please God, let him be okay, let him be alright so he can be there to stand up for me at the wedding, he means so much to me. He has been there as a friend through everything and I don’t want to…get married without him by my side. And Lord… please be with Lexie right now….give her strength and courage to handle this…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laura went to find Lexie and sent her into John’s room, and then she went to see if Marlena was awake. What John had dreamed was obviously traumatic and Laura thought her friend should know about it. Therefore, if the lady happened to be awake, she might consider telling Marlena what had happened earlier.
She couldn’t help but be concerned; the look of sheer terror for that split second before he realized it had been a dream, was enough to alarm the psychiatrist in Laura. Shaking her head, she marveled at his ability to appear unruffled afterward. The head injury, the fears about Marlena being taken by Stefano, John’s unsettling dream about Kristen, and now his best friend was badly wounded. It was a lot to handle, but John was good at covering up his pain from all but the closest of confidantes. Marlena would want to know about it, and she hadn’t been told about Abe either…so Laura went to see her best friend, both to inform and comfort her, and share her concerns about what she’d observed.
Abe Carver was just coming out of surgery and Lexie anxiously awaited notification of his condition, while at the same time remembering John’s encouraging words, “Lexie, he’s one of the toughest men I know…he’ll pull through.. we have to believe that!” He held her as she cried in fear of losing her husband. “Lexie, I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for him when he needed me, I should have…”
Lexie cut him off, “John, stop it! You can *not* blame yourself every time something goes wrong or someone gets hurt. You were in this hospital bed because of that man’s sickness. You have nothing to feel bad about…so let’s concentrate on praying for Abe alright?”
“Alright, we will..” John looked toward the heavens briefly then bowed his head and prayed, “Dear Lord, please watch over Abe who is in surgery right now, help him fight for his life and please… guide the surgeon’s hands. Take good care of him God, we all need him so very much!”
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Lexie turned her attention back toward the doors where a doctor should soon come through to explain Abe’s condition to her. She was rewarded shortly by the sight of Mike Horton. “Lexie…he’s weak, he lost quite a bit of blood, but it looks very good for a full recovery from the wound in his shoulder.”
“Oh thank God!” A tremendous sigh of relief was breathed and then came the inevitable question, “Can I see him now?”
The young physician smiled in response and gave her the answer she sought, “Yes, but just for a few minutes, he needs rest and I suggest you get some yourself as well.”
Lexie replied in kind, “Well, Michael Horton, I could say the same for you. It sure has been a rough night hasn’t it, between John and Abe?”
Mike agreed, sounding tired himself, “Yes it has, and I plan on going home after checking one last time on John. I’ll see you later and I’ll pass along the good news about Abe to him.”
“Thank you, Mike… he’ll appreciate that because he’s very worried, and feeling bad that he wasn’t there to help out when Abe was shot.”
Mike reacted with a knowing tone in his voice, “He does have a tendency to think he should be like Superman and be everywhere that someone needs him at any given moment of the day, doesn’t he?”
Marlena came up just then and said, “That he does, Mike. I wish I could get him to let go of that sometimes. So, I heard you say that Abe is going to be alright, that’s wonderful news.” She hugged her friend and said, “Lexie, I am so happy they’re both okay. God seems to want this wedding to take place without any interference.”
“Oh, I hope you’re right, Marlena. There has been so much turmoil in this town and in your lives. I hope it’s a perfect day and that Abe can share in your joy.”
Marlena then turned to Mike and asked the question on all their minds, “What are the chances of him being able to be at the wedding, Mike? It means so much to both John and Abe…”
“Well, I can’t really say right now… I have to wait and see how he is tomorrow. It’s possible he could go and be sitting in a wheelchair, but he won’t be able to stand up at the altar.” After hearing the answer, Lexie waved a silent goodbye and went off to see her husband.
“Okay, thanks for being honest, now please tell me about John’s situation. How is the injury looking?” asked Marlena somewhat anxiously.
“As it is, John might need to stay here through most of tomorrow depending on how that swelling looks in the morning. He’s been sleeping fitfully and seems to be in intense pain at times, even with the meds. I also want to check his hearing on the right side before he goes home.”
Marlena chuckled lightly and told him, “He won’t be a willing patient, you can bet on that, Mike. He will want to leave first thing in the morning whether he’s in pain or not and spend our day together, because we promised each other we’d spend at least one night apart for tradition’s sake. As you know, Abe and Bo planned on having a party for him, and Lexie, Carrie and Laura are planning something for me. And then we won’t see each other
“He is…difficult, but I have my ways…to convince him to behave, that is if he wants to be able to stand up long enough to marry you on Saturday. We can’t have our groom collapsing in the sanctuary, now can we?”
She laughed, “No, we definitely cannot have that, at least not until after the minister says I now pronounce you…..well you get the point don’t you?”
“I most definitely do, Marlena. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.” Mike patted her lightly on the back and went on down the hall toward John’s room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Mike exited the area, Marlena was left standing by herself. Well not completely. The ever present bodyguards were there, of course. Thinking again about what Laura had said regarding John’s dream, Marlena realized from what her friend told her that he was dreaming about Kristen brainwashing him. John still hadn’t opened up and shared his feelings regarding that evil deed. Kristen had, for all intents and purposes, raped him, though it appeared it would be very difficult to make a case for it in court. He couldn’t make any kind of statement about something he had no conscious memory of, nor did Kristen actually admit to what she had done to him. It was all revealed with innuendoes.
However, the damaging effects of such a trauma could begin to play out in John’s life if he was dreaming of the experience, either in the past or some imagined future. She sighed worriedly, not quite sure what to do next. Marlena knew that if she addressed it with John now, it wouldn’t do any good. He would deny the whole thing, claiming that Laura had simply misinterpreted what she saw and heard. So, Marlena decided she would have to wait until he had another similar dream and then wake him and discuss it while it was fresh in his mind, when his emotions were right there on the surface, and therefore, not so easily discounted.
When she approached the room, Mike had just finished examining his patient and gave her a quick run down. John was sleeping peacefully and all vital signs were normal. But because the swelling was still quite significant, they would watch it closely throughout the night. Upon entering his room, she stopped to look him over before moving closer to the bed.
He was dreaming again, and he was agitated, calling out in his sleep, “No! please! Do anything you want to me, but let her go…Kristen! Blame me, I was the one who left you…she was willing to give me up, I swear it!” John was obviously terrified of what was happening in his dream, his voice was desperate, “I promise if you let her go home, I….I’ll…stay.. and make a life with you….Please, Kristen! Don’t hurt her!”
Marlena was torn between waking him and waiting until he awakened naturally, so that she could talk to him about it. She waited a little while longer and then he called out again. Something different was happening. “No, not this…no, please…if you cared about me, you wouldn’t….do this. No, Kristen… it’s wrong.. it’s wrong!” Inside the dream he struggled to avoid her touch, and he started thrashing, wrestling with the sheets.
She decided to watch him for just a moment or two longer. He was still thrashing in the bed and he cried out again, his voice laced with horror, “Kristen…it’s rape! Is that how you want me? Oh God, the device…. that’s how you did it in Paris. No! NO!” He woke up suddenly and sat straight up in bed, almost immediately feeling the emotional pain it caused in the form of a crushing headache.
Marlena caught his shoulders and held him until reality registered and the fragments of dream left him with some vivid images.
“Oh…man….does my head hurt…” He didn’t say more, involuntarily going back to visit the dream, even as he tried to shake it off and banish the accompanying emotions it stimulated.
“John, I was here for the whole dream and I know what it was about. You were so upset you were talking in your sleep.”
“Oh….well it was just a dream, that’s all..” He wished he could find a way to back her off, but he had a sinking feeling that nothing he said was going to work.
“No, that’s not all, John and you know it. It tells me you are just beginning to face what she actually did to you in Paris, what she might try to do to have you back. You’re worried about it, aren’t you?” Marlena tried to get him to look at her, but he wouldn’t, which spoke volumes.
He shook his head and said as convincingly as possible, “No. It’s like I told you before, I’m not concerned about her. Stefano is the only one who poses a threat to us. Kristen will pack it in when he’s caught, maybe… no, probably even if he gives up on taking you right now and goes off to regroup.”
Her gaze narrowed, as she studied his expression, watching his eyes, which darted nervously back and forth but avoided meeting hers. “You are not a very good liar, John.” She did the same thing Laura did earlier and took his hand without warning. This time it was clenched in a slightly trembling fist, a sign he was feeling some intense emotions and needed to contain them, to hide them from her. “So what. It doesn’t mean anything..” he said tersely as their eyes met momentarily. Then he snatched his hand back and looked away.
“Yes it does…John she essentially raped you, you just said it in your sleep. You can’t tell me that you don’t feel something about that!”
John wanted so much to hide from those hazel eyes which held such compassion. He loved her for caring but it was too difficult to face it. It didn’t happen to men. “No, I don’t, Doc…I’m fine, that was all in the dream, doesn’t mean a thing..” He shifted his position and sat up even straighter as he changed the subject, “So, did you hear anything more about Abe, I’ve been worried.”
“He’s going to be fine. Now about what we were discussing…”
John interrupted her, “Marlena, you were discussing and I was..” John paused for a moment and she jumped back in.
“Running. You were running, John just like you’ve done ever since the whole truth about Kristen was revealed.”
Now she had pushed a button and John looked right at her and shared his reaction, “Running, you call this running? I stayed and faced it, I went to Colorado to confess my love for you, and then we…worked through so much together. How can you say I’ve been running, Doc?”
‘Good,’ thought Marlena, ‘now he’s at least going to hear me. “You’ve been hiding in US, your own safe little world where you didn’t have to face the pain of what she did to you. You didn’t want to deal with what it meant that you could care for someone who could betray you, how she could…force you to make love. All of it. You haven’t ever really let yourself face it and if you don’t do that, you’ll never be able to get past it.”
John denied it, “Yes, I did…remember that night when I lost custody of John.J… of the baby? I….cried that night…and then…I got over it,” he said, not able to meet her eyes.” He was lying to himself and he knew Marlena saw right through him.
“Right, you did…but that was just a small beginning John. And you found out about the brainwashing after that. Do you remember all the arguments about the security and how paranoid you’ve been about protecting us? John, you’re hiding in all that too, because you don’t want to deal with how much it hurts to have had your trust betrayed. You need to do that so you can move beyond the pain, so you can learn to trust again.”
Again, he countered, “No, that’s not true…I…just moved on quicker than you thought…I trusted Abe and the others to keep you safe tonight, didn’t I?” John knew that if he kept denying she would keep pushing, but he didn’t know what else to do. She was better at this than he was; it was her job to break through people’s defenses.
“Yes, but if it went your way you would have been about five feet behind me when Stefano followed me and tried to take me. The only reason you weren’t is because of that bump on the head.” Marlena knew she was making progress now.
Feeling frustrated and exposed, he stared at her and said, “Tell me something, Doc….why do you push me so hard? Why can’t you just accept what I say on face value and leave it alone?”
Marlena touched his cheek tenderly and said with a much softer tone, “Because you’re still hurting, John and when you hurt, I hurt…just as you do for me. I want to help you face the pain, to heal from it and then move forward, and you cannot do that until you admit that she wounded you deeply. You seem to be very comfortable with your anger, but the hurt feelings…they scare you, John.”
She had broken through and he was hardly aware of it, “Man, you are relentless, Doc…Okay yes she hurt me…we discussed this too. Yes, it still hurts that I cared for her…that she could betray my trust repeatedly and then look me in the eye every day and lie to me. It *kills* me that she hurt you behind my back. That’s the worst part of it, Marlena…. the part that eats away at my soul. It’s the reason I’ve been so paranoid. I am so…afraid that if I let my guard down, even for a second, you’ll be hurt or taken away, and it will be my fault….again!!”
“Why does it only fall on your shoulders John?” she asked, knowing what he was going to say and wanting him to hear it for himself.
Finally she was at the root problem and he raised his voice, “Because…I….. TRUSTED HER and he got to you. So many terrible things happened because of that! I don’t *ever* want to make that mistake again!!”
“Right because it hurts you deeply to have been betrayed so completely and you don’t ever want to be hurt like that again! You want to be in control of everything, scrutinize every person’s motives, watch every move I make and be there to keep me safe from all possible harm. John you’re going to make yourself sick with this!” She was concerned for him and hoped he could work it through with her.
“Oh, come on aren’t you exaggerating a little here?” he asked wishing the whole conversation didn’t need to occur in the first place.
“Am I? John you have been literally obsessed with protecting me and the children and it has become a problem for all of us. I wanted to wait until after the wedding to discuss it with you, but maybe we can’t avoid it any longer.”
Adjusting his position in the bed, he asked, “Just what are you saying? I’m a little confused here.”
After taking a deep breath and letting it out, she shared the concern. “I’m saying you are so paranoid and obsessed with the issue of our safety that you are… interfering in our lives. You’re keeping us from meeting new people and going new places for fear that something bad will happen, or that there will be someone we shouldn’t trust. You have hardly even spoken to anyone other than the tight circle of friends and family around us, and if it’s what you feel you have to do to protect yourself, that is your choice. However, you have been trying to keep me and the kids from doing it too, and that I cannot allow.”
” I have…..not…have I? I….guess I didn’t really think of it that way. I’m sorry, Doc I…” John stopped talking for a moment and took time to consider all of what she was saying to him. After a few minutes he responded, “Well, I.. guess I have gone a little overboard with the security thing, I’ll admit that, but about all that other stuff…I’m not.. sure.”
More silence followed.
“So, you really think I have a problem with this trust thing and my.. concern about what Kristen might try to do to take me back, that deep inside I’m afraid she’s just as evil and obsessed as Stefano, but I’ve been trying to deny it?”
At last he was open to the possibility. “Yes, I do, John and if it helps you, I will admit my problem to you. When we had the argument and I lashed out at you…it was because you were right about me. I do have a problem with my fear of Stefano and I’m going to see someone about it. I think maybe….you should do the same, John.”
He sighed with physical and emotional exhaustion. “I’ll…think about it, Doc. But first, I have to do this.” He took her in his arms and kissed her passionately. They let the contact go long and deep, felt their desire stirring and broke the kiss somewhat reluctantly. When it was over, John just looked at her for the longest time, marveling at her concern for his welfare. And then he said it, “I love you, Marlena….thank you for…caring so much to take the time to break through my…defenses, you are incredibly patient and loving.”
She smiled that smile that melted his heart and then with some sense of exasperation said, “And you, John….are stubborn, difficult, and sometimes infuriating, but….I love you so..”
“Why….thank you, Doc I.. think, and it’s a good thing because in only 36 more hours or so you will be my wife. Mrs. Marlena-Evans Black!” he said quite enthusiastically as he moved in for yet another desire-filled kiss.
Marlena said in reply, “Ooh I do so much like to hear you say that, Mr. Black, my soon to be husband!” Then the couple sat in companionable silence, feeling grateful for the deep bond of love and implicit trust in the relationship they shared, where any issue was safe territory because the love was based on a firm foundation that had stood the test of time.
They were also thankful their friend was going to be alright and would probably be able to participate in their long awaited nuptials.
Marlena Evans awakened with the sun, tired from a long night at the hospital. Not long after learning that both John and Abe were going to be just fine she had allowed herself to be convinced that it was alright to go home, so she was able to get some rest, more than she would have at the hospital anyway. The children were at the Brady Pub because it was quite late by the time she was ready to leave the hospital; therefore, she spent the night at the new house by herself.
Well, not actually by herself–none of them really did anything by themselves now. There were always security personnel around and she was almost getting used to their fairly unobtrusive presence in her life. Almost. She sat up in the bed and looked around at the beautiful bedroom John had designed with her pleasure in mind. He had consulted with Caroline, Maggie, Laura and Lexie as well as an interior decorator to choose the color scheme and the wallpaper, curtains and bedding, etc. It was perfect she thought, ‘He amazes me sometimes with his ability to surprise me with just what will please me and make me feel loved and special.’
As she looked around the room and then gazed down at the gazebo where the ceremony would take place, she said to herself, “Just think, Marlena, in one more day we will be married. And with a loving family filling it with joy and laughter, this new house will become a home. From that moment on, we will always be together, the four of us.”
Marlena pulled on her robe and went down to the kitchen to make some coffee and then went out on the deck to wait while it brewed. The sun and the trees blowing in the breeze made a beautiful pattern on the lake down below, and she sat admiring the view for a long while. ‘What a wonderful way to wake up,’ she thought. John had chosen the lot, the style of house, the location, the decorating, all with a sense of peace and serenity in mind. This was to be their haven, a shelter from all of the pain that life had thrown their way. They had a retreat from all of that and he intended to keep her feeling safe and content for as long as possible. “Oh my sweet John, you know so much about what I need, and this place is just perfect for us.”
Marlena went to get some coffee and then walked on down to sit on the bench in the gazebo so she could be closer to the water, taking the portable phone with her in case something important came up. She walked around the gazebo and then stood on the spot where they would exchange rings and vows. In such a short time they would actually become husband and wife again.
It still seems so unreal’ she thought, that after all the years of separation and pain they would marry again and yet it would be for the first time. So much about the relationship was new and yet it was old and familiar. Their love from the past was in some ways from a different lifetime but it was there as a backdrop for this new love relationship they had forged. So strange was their journey.
Now, they would marry again, but a different name was to be on the marriage certificate; the other name had not been his to use. It was mostly because of that fact they had been apart all this time. If he had continued his life as Roman, they would never have been separated at all, except for the evil workings of so many of that man’s enemies from his line of work. And John had since become Stefano Dimera’s enemy too. However, any separation would not have come by their own choice. That much she was certain of, as she remembered the joy she felt and the strength and depth of the love they felt on their first wedding day.
“John, I cannot wait to stand here in my wedding dress and hold your hand in mine, put my ring on your finger and feel you put yours on mine, to look in your shining blue eyes.” She was immersed in her musings and she jumped at the sound of the phone ringing. “Hi,” was all she said.
“Hello sweetheart, happy second best day of our lives..did you sleep okay?”
“Oh, hi honey, it’s so good to hear your voice..I was just thinking of you.”
“You were?” His voice was filled with the joy of being loved by the woman he loved immeasurably and spent years dreaming about.
“Yep…I’m in the gazebo and I was just imagining how wonderful it will be to stand up here and stare into your baby blues and exchange vows with you, to hold your hand and have your ring on my finger again…I can’t wait!”
“Oh, that sounds so incredible. I can hardly believe it’s going to happen. Tomorrow baby… one more day and we will be married again, Wow!”
She sighed with tremendous pleasure, “I know. I was just thinking back to the first time, about how much in love we were and reviewing how we came to be here now.. it’s all so strange and yet wonderful. This feels so new to me, but it’s a love that has always been there..” She paused realizing she might be going on too long. “Forgive me for rambling… I just love you so much!”
“That’s okay, Doc. I was lying here doing the same thing. It is so.. incredible that with all the horrible things that have happened along the way, that the one constant in our lives has been the love we felt for each other. And even though it wasn’t always out in the open, I think it must have guided us somehow… to find each other when one of us was hurting or in trouble. Our love is an unstoppable, undeniable force and it will get us through anything that comes our way. Getting married, saying our vows before God and all our friends and family, is our way of putting a seal on that love and I can’t wait to call you my wife!”
“Oh, I wish I could hold you right now! Has Mike said when he’s letting you out of there?”
“Well, we uh…kinda got into it first thing this morning when he came in on rounds. He wants me to stay for awhile, he says the swelling is pretty bad and he wants to watch me… I said you could watch me very nicely at the house and he didn’t trust me to…well, you know. He said he’d come back after he finishes rounds and we could discuss it again.”
“John, he is just trying to make sure you don’t pass out in the middle of the wedding ceremony. You wouldn’t want that to happen, would you?” She imagined the conversation and felt bad for Mike who was always on the receiving end of John’s frustration about any time spent in a hospital bed he didn’t feel was necessary.
“Well, no but… I don’t want to spend this day apart either because I won’t be able to see you tonight or tomorrow morning and that’s too much time away from you baby!”
There was such longing in his voice and she understood it because she felt the same way about being apart. “You…are so..sweet and I love you, but you need to take care of yourself, that concussion was a bad one and there could be..complications if you overdo it.”
John was not a man who gave up easily, “I know it, but you’ll recognize any problems right? I mean you are my Doc, aren’t you?”
He said it so sweetly her heart melted, and she decided to help him out with being sprung. “Okay, John I will talk to Mike and tell him I’ll watch you closely and maybe he’ll discharge you this morning sometime.”
“Thanks, Doc…I really appreciate and…if you come see me soon, I’ll show just how much, baby..” His voice was filled with desire, and she felt her heart quicken a little at the sound of it.
“Alright, John I’ll just get a quick shower and I’ll be there soon. Think of me till I get there, honey…I love you!” . Marlena stood up, planning to head toward the house.
“Oooh, I wish I could join you…Hurry babe… my heart misses you so much and so does my… body..” He chuckled lustfully, awaiting her last response.
“John, I wish you could too. My heart and body miss you too. See you in a little while, honey.”
“Bye Doc…” As soon as she finished walking up the stairs, she raced into the master suite, jumped in the shower and was in and out in a flash. Then she dressed quickly and was in the car on the way to the hospital inside of 45 minutes, a record for her. John’s desire-filled voice could motivate a woman to move with alacrity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
John sat in the bed holding the phone for a little while, still thinking of his fiancée’s sexy body all alone in the shower at the house, and wishing he was there with her. He put the phone back down as he heard the sound of his door opening, and when he turned around, he was rewarded with the sight of his good friend and the man’s wife coming into his room. Abe was sitting in a wheelchair, but he looked fairly good. John’s eyes lit up and he said, “Abe! Hey, you’re really going to be alright! I was so..worried about you!”
“Yea I’m gonna be okay soon and you.. I heard you got another knock on that hard head of yours. How are you feeling?”
“Oh, probably about like you, ready to get out of here. It feels like my head is in somebody’s vise grip, but other than that I’m fine. Tell me what happened out there, if you’re up to it, that is.”
“Well, we had him, John, I really thought we had him and just as we were going to nail him, his driver came out of the limo firing an automatic weapon. Bullets were flying everywhere and I got hit…then I think we got a shot off at Stefano just as the helicopter took off. I swore I hit him, John…but there’s been no trace of him so far. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it, I’m just glad you’re okay. I was so scared last night when Laura told me you’d been shot.”
Lexie said, “We both were and it was pretty rough there for awhile, but Mike says he’ll be just fine in a few weeks.”
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but what about the wedding? Do you think you might… that maybe..”
At about the same time John was asking the question, Mike Horton came in and answered it, “Yes, he can be in the wedding as long as he is sitting down for the whole time, except for a few pictures.. okay?”
Both men looked like two little boys who were just told they could both play in the big game on Saturday, and with a wide grin decorating his face, John exclaimed gleefully, “Alright!”
Abe’s mood was a match, “I wouldn’t miss this for anything, John!”
They clasped hands and John said, “It just wouldn’t have been the same without you, partner. I need you there by my side, just like you’ve always been.”
As they were talking another key player came up to join in the celebratory atmosphere, “Well, I see things are moving along quite nicely here. Abe it’s so good to see you up and around like this. Did I hear correctly.. that you’re definitely going to be in the wedding?”
Lexie answered, “Yes, he is Marlena. Mike just gave the approval. As long as he sits down for most of it, Abe can be John’s best man.”
“Oh, honey..I’m so happy for you both. I know it means a lot to you and it does to me too.” She hugged Abe gingerly and gave John a big bear hug, pleased that their wedding would happen the way they hoped, and they would be able to share it in a special way with their close friends the Carvers.
Abe said, “I was just about to tell this guy that he needs me to help him keep it together. He’s been known to be a little nervous and forgetful, and we can’t have him losing the ring or something like that.”
Abe grinned at John who said while glancing upward at Marlena, “Who me nervous…about getting married to that gorgeous creature, nah…can’t wait to stand up in front of everybody and say I do.”
“Oh, me too, John, me too!”
She kissed him lightly and the others said a collective…”Ahhhh..” This was a couple that had been in love for a very long time, and the other three knew that they belonged together all along. It warmed their hearts to see John and Marlena openly in love and filled with the joy of anticipation on this morning before their wedding.
Seeing her friends’ reactions, Marlena looked up after a minute and said, “You really have been pulling for us, haven’t you?”
Lexie answered enthusiastically, “Of course, Marlena! We’ve known for awhile now that you two belonged together and we just hoped you would figure it out one day. Now you have and we’re all very happy for you, right guys?”
Abe and Mike smiled and nodded, and John sat up in the bed grinning from ear to ear. “Well, it was that husband of yours who helped me come to my senses and make the decision to jump on a plane and confess my love. Abe, for that I will always be grateful. It was the smartest decision I have *ever* made!” He took Marlena’s hand as he spoke and their eyes told of the deep and abiding love they shared. “I love this lady more than life itself and I’m thrilled to know we can share our joy with friends like you.”
Mike spoke up this time, saying, “Well, I hate to put a damper on things, but neither one of you is going to be in any shape to be at this celebration we call a wedding tomorrow, if you don’t both get some more rest. Understood?” he added, making a statement in the form of a question. His intent was clear–either they rested or they were going to have a problem.
Both men sighed as they looked at Mike, then each other and then their women. John spoke first, “Uh…Mike what would you say about springing me from this joint so I can spend the day at home with my…intended?”
Mike couldn’t help but smile at his friend’s youthful exuberance and desire to be with the woman he loved on the day before their wedding, “John…I…don’t think..” The young doctor stopped when he saw the crestfallen expression on John’s face as he started to turn the man down. “Alright, this…goes against my better judgement, but okay…I’ll sign the discharge papers. But only if Marlena spends the whole day…watching you very closely.” He winked at the couple whose passion was so obvious.
“Oh…somehow I don’t think *that* will be a problem.” said Abe with a wide grin on his face.
“Abe…whatever do you mean? I don’t believe I like your insinuation.. a girl has standards you know…” Marlena teased.
“Oh, boy do I like her standards…and I like to break em down…too!” said John with boyish enthusiasm.
“John!” she exclaimed in mock horror.
Mike finished up with another teasing comment, “And on that note, I think I’ll go sign those papers. Abe, I think you better get back to your room and get some real rest if you’re going to hold this guy back tomorrow…he might try to skip right to the ‘you may kiss the bride’ part if it’s left up to him!”
Abe and Lexie laughed heartily and Abe agreed, “I think you have him pegged, Mike.” Then he looked up at the groom-to-be and said, ” John, I will be there to keep you in line and don’t you forget it!” He patted John on the arm as Lexie began to turn his wheelchair around.
“Thanks Mike, you guys…Abe, to tell you the truth, I’ll be needing you there to keep me standing when I see her come up the aisle to me. It will be all I can do to keep breathing…and not fall over on the spot at the sight of this stunning beauty.”
Another chorus of “Ahhhhh” was heard, only this time it was slightly more mocking in tone and then Marlena, ignoring the teasing, said with an expression that showed just how loved he was making her feel, “John, you are so sweet to me.. you just go right on saying things like that as often as you want, I’ll never get tired of it.”
“You can count on it, Doc! I’ll be tickling your ears that way for the rest of your sweet long life, baby.”
“Okay, as an unattached male, I’ve taken about as much of this mushy stuff as I can handle, I’ll see you at the desk with the prescriptions,” said Mike feeling just slightly envious of their closeness. He went out smiling, along with Abe and Lexie, who went on down the hall to Abe’s room.
Marlena slapped at John playfully and, “Now, look you’ve chased them all away, honey.”
Noticing that they were finally by themselves, he replied gladly, “Oh….well good because I’ve been trying to get a moment alone with you since you got here. I…missed you baby..so much!” He pulled her down toward him and kissed her like he meant what he said.
“Umm, oooh..you did miss me, didn’t you? Guess your headache is gone for now, huh?.”
He kept on kissing, ignoring the question at first, then said, “Umm hmm, you might say I’m feeling no pain.” After another minute, he stopped kissing her and sat up, swung his legs to the floor and said, “Let’s blow this pop stand and go home to our new place, okay?”
“Sounds wonderful to me, John. I wanted to tell you that I love it, so much! I felt your presence there in the way you designed it. I loved sitting out on the deck and looking down at the lake and the gazebo…it’s like a peaceful retreat for us. Thank you for all you’ve done to make me happy, John.”
He smiled and kissed her again and then as he caressed her cheek he said warmly, “Anything to put a smile on your face and make you feel safe and secure, Marlena. I love you very much and I want to spend every day of my life proving that to you.”
She smiled back and melted his heart, “Well, you’ve done a wonderful job of it so far, baby, but I won’t tell you to stop. I love everything about our time together and I cannot wait to see what you have planned for the honeymoon.” As he stood up, she put her arms around his neck and asked, “Can you give me just a little hint…pretty please?”
“Nope.” John ignored her hands and her soft breath on his neck, determined not to be affected by her ministrations.
“Please, come on just a teeny…tiny…little..” She was kissing him in between her words, on the chest, then the neck and then the lips. “Are you sure… you…won’t….reconsider?” Marlena kept right on kissing him and felt sure he was weakening.
He tried valiantly to resist her attempts to get the secret out of him. “Doc..I…. no… I… really…. want…it to be…. well.. maybe.. just.. a little one, ” he said as his resistance began to falter. Then he abruptly pulled out of her grasp and went to the chair where his clothes lay draped over the back. “No, you can’t make me tell you, Doc!”
“Oooh but you were tempted to give in there for a minute…weren’t you, John I was starting to get to you, wasn’t I?” She moved back in before he could get his shirt on and was massaging his back. Then she ran her hands over his chest and belly from behind, dropping slowly lower, his desire rising quickly in response.
“Ohhh, Doc.. you’re so…unfair to me…oooh…” His breathing changed, and he knew if it went on one more minute he would be putty in her hands. If he had any chance at continued resistance, he had to pull away. His body argued in favor of staying, ‘No, maybe.. just a few more seconds.’ “Oh, that feels so…good Doc.. mmm..” John dragged himself out of her arms, still breathing hard and then turned and pointed a finger at her, “Woah! you…are good! You are really good at this and you almost had me there, but I’m not telling. I want it to be a surprise, Marlena, please!” He put his hands in the air in a defensive gesture to emphasize his meaning.
She had a slightly pouty expression on her face, but could see how important it was to him and reluctantly agreed, “Oh, all right I won’t try to persuade you any more, but it sure is nice to know that you are still….captivated by me after all these years.”
John nodded in agreement and said, “Oh, you could say that…. I am completely… enraptured by you Marlena.. a few more seconds and I would have given in, ” he said with a wink. “Now, let’s get out of here before Mike changes his mind.” John had just finished dressing and headed toward the door as he spoke again.
Marlena was still thinking about how close she came to wearing him down and said, “Really? just a few more seconds? Wow, I *am* getting good at this!” She ran to catch up with him and he was already out at the nurses’ station picking up his prescriptions. A nurse caught up with him and said, “Mr. Black you have to leave in a wheelchair… hospital policy, sorry.”
“Oh…I hate that…how about if I leave walking arm in arm with the prettiest MD on the staff here at University Hospital?”
Marlena blushed slightly and said in a whisper, “We’ll just sneak you down the stairs..near my office, John.” Then so the nurse would hear she said, “John, before we go I need to get some things from my office, would you like to go with me?”
“Of course, Marlena, let’s head on over there right now.” When they were far enough away, he pulled her into another warm embrace and said, “Thanks, Doc I really hate wheelchairs.”
As they headed toward the entrance to the stairs Marlena replied, “Yes, I know, John, now let’s get out of here before some other nurse spots us. I can’t wait to spend the day with you and the kids. They’ve been worried about you, honey. I called over to the Pub and Caroline said that neither one of them would eat anything this morning. And they just kept asking about you. I talked to them and tried to reassure them, but they want to see you in person to believe you’re okay.”
He was touched by their concern for him, as it meant he was truly becoming an integral part of the family, and they wanted and needed him with them as much as Marlena. “Oh, Doc…I should have called them first thing this morning, I didn’t realize they would be so worried about me. It sure is sweet though, sometimes I wondered if they would ever…feel the same way about me as they do about you, especially after this past year or so.”
“Oh, John they have always loved and needed you, but…you did spend a lot of time away from them with…”
They made it down the stairwell unnoticed and over to Marlena’s car. John stopped before they got in and said sincerely, “Marlena, I know I wasn’t there for you and the kids this past year and I just want to tell you. I’m really grateful that I was able to make my way back into all of your lives, and I won’t let you down again. You can trust in my love and commitment, Doc.” He hugged her tightly as an indication of that love.
“I know, John. And you can trust in mine, this love is forever!” They kissed and then stared briefly into each other’s eyes before parting to get into opposite doors of the vehicle.
Then it was off toward the Pub to pick up the kids for a day of fun together; it was exactly what they all needed to melt away the stress and tension of the past few months, and they were determined that nothing would spoil it for them. John was going to make certain of it, glancing back to make sure that the security people were following them as they pulled out of the parking garage. He didn’t realize that an extra car was tagging along behind the others, because he was not perfectly aware of exactly who was on duty since receiving the bump on the head. Besides that, he was admittedly slightly distracted by Marlena’s presence and his excitement about their upcoming wedding.
As the small unplanned caravan left University Hospital, the occupants of the first car were blissfully unaware of what was happening behind them for about half of the trip. Then suddenly there was the sound of screeching tires, brakes squealing to control vehicles careening out of control. Then the loud crunch of metal colliding with metal. The cars behind them had been jockeying for position and something they did not see caused a horrible accident. One vehicle headed for the one they were driving in and Marlena had to struggle to maintain both her composure and control of the car as the now somehow driver less vehicle came closer and closer, threatening to include them in the tragic crash.
“John! Oh My God! What should I do?”
“Hang in there, Doc we’re okay…just focus on the road ahead. Keep the wheel straight….yea that’s it baby.” He forced his own anxiety down in order to help her stay calm.
“Oh, John! I’m scared!” Petrified would have been a better word.
“It’s okay, they won’t hit us, the car is slowing down, just keep going and we’re fine…” Again, out of nowhere the sound of an impact was heard, it was a bullet…hitting the car door panel…then a tire blew out and Marlena lost control of the car. John reached over to help her manage it, and after harrowing moments that seemed endless, they maneuvered the car off the road and were able to stop without hitting anything.
“Woah…that was close! Are you okay?” asked John with concern.
She was shaking and wasn’t quite sure, “I….don’t know…co.. could you just hold me for a minute?” He had already moved closer before she started speaking and wrapped her safely in his arms until the shaking stopped.
“Oh, John what exactly happened ?”
“I don’t know, but I’m gonna find out, please stay here, Marlena.” He stood swiftly as he climbed of their car to survey the damage behind them and it must have been too quick a movement. He felt dizzy and found himself falling before he fully realized what was happening. Marlena saw him waver and then go down but was helpless to ease the fall. He landed hard and was out before she even got out around the car to where he had been standing. She reached down to check him and saw that he’d landed on the right side. ‘Of course,’ she thought. The wound was bleeding again and he didn’t look good.
“Oh, John…we shouldn’t have left the hospital so soon.” As she was reaching back into the car for the cell phone, it rang, “Hello?” she answered, thinking it might be one of the security people who were supposed to be following and trying to protect them.
“Dr. Evans..are you alright? This is Joe Haskins, I was in the car directly behind you when all the other cars started crashing. I’m not completely sure what caused the wreck, but I think there was gunfire just before cars started colliding.”
Marlena was surprisingly calm under the stress, “Yes, I think so too… Listen my fiance was injured and I need help. I’m going to call an ambulance. Was anyone else hurt?”
“Yes, and some may have been killed. I’ve called 911 already and they’re on their way. I’m going to come up there, on foot. I’m only about a quarter mile from you, so sit tight, everything is going to be okay.” He was trying to be reassuring, but if this had all been planned by someone, both of his charges were in grave danger, especially since it was John who was injured. Joe took off running at top speed; he had sworn to John Black that he would keep them safe and he always kept his promises.
“Yes, I will, thank you..” Marlena was frightened, but the fact that the man was on it so quickly and was coming to them soon was comforting to her.
As she hung up she turned her attention back to John, who seemed to be coming around. “Doc? Oh, man…my head…what happened?” He felt the wound with his hand and there was fresh blood on his fingertips. “Doc…did I.. get hit again…what’s going on?” Before she could answer, he passed out again.
“John, no honey stay with me…John!” It was no use, he was out cold. She tore off his shirt and pressed it against the wound to stop the bleeding and then sat down next to him. A few seconds later, though she labored to do so, she just couldn’t hold back the tears; the stress overwhelmed her and she broke down. Stroking his hair, she spoke to the man she loved, wishing he had an answer for her, “Oh, honey….why does this keep happening to us? Can’t we just have some fun, some brief period when we’re safe and happy?”
John could hear her crying and he wanted to help her, he struggled for consciousness. “Doc, please.. don’t cry, everything will be alright. I’m…okay.”
“John, baby…stay with me, honey.. yes, that’s it!” She could see he was groggy, disoriented but she wanted to keep him with her. “John, you got dizzy and fell, and of course you landed right on the previous injury..”
“Oh, well then… what else is happening, where are our people? What about the accident behind us?”
“Joe Haskins should be here any minute now to help us until we can figure out what happened here. He said he heard gunfire, and I think I did too, just before the tire blew out. What about you?”
“Yea, I heard it, the tire was shot out, Doc and that can only mean one thing, “STEFANO!” They both said it loudly with a sense of sickened horror in their voices.
Shaking her head, willing it not to be true, she argued with him, “No, John, no he…can’t have come back so soon. Abe thought he shot Stefano. John what if it’s Kristen?”
“No….she couldn’t. No…not her, this would be too complicated for her to pull off without help from the Old Man.” Just as he finished that sentence, a car pulled up out of nowhere; three men jumped out and ran toward them, brandishing heavy firearms. Kristen came waltzing over, following two steps behind the men.
“Hello, John, Marlena…I’m so glad you both survived that little accident, but I knew John could handle a minor problem with no trouble at all. Are you surprised to see me?”
“What do you want Kristen, why did you do all that?” asked John in anger, while working hard to sit up.
“Oh honey, I think you ought to know that by now, and if you don’t, I’m sure Marlena will tell you. She and I had a nice little chat about it at the Pub a couple of weeks back. Do you remember Marlena?”
Marlena shuddered as she thought of Kristen’s cryptic revelation about brainwashing John. She planned to do it again and was here to take him by force. “No, Kristen don’t do this!”
John was still not quite with it, but he knew enough to realize Marlena was terrified. “Kristen, I don’t know what you *think* you’re doing here, but you can’t stop us from getting married tomorrow.”
He was suddenly cognizant that they had been surrounded by three men, one of whom had a gun pointed at Marlena, the other two at him. Panic set in. With his head wound he knew he was no match for them; he was so dizzy and doubted he could stand for long, let alone fight, but he also knew that he had to try. He stood up cautiously, battling the dizziness, and made a lunge for two of the men, but was felled quickly when one of them made a decisive jab with a gun butt to John’s abdomen. Both Kristen and Marlena saw the move as it was happening, and at the same time screamed, “No!” John groaned in pain and went down, then was still. Marlena raced to his side as Kristen berated the hired thug for hurting him further.
“This was supposed to happen without John being injured. Now, please be careful with him when you take him to the car, I don’t want him hurt!”
“Yes Ma’am!” The man motioned for the other two, and they went over to where Marlena was leaning over her fiancée, frantic to rouse him.
“John, honey, come on baby talk to me!” She turned with venom to Kristen, “How could you do this? You say that you love him! You make me sick, Kristen, you have NO idea of what genuine love is!”
“Well, we’ll see about that won’t we? Take him!” One man held a gun on Marlena while the other two picked up the limp figure and carried it to the awaiting vehicle.
Marlena was in full panic mode, so frightened for John’s life and sanity, knowing what Kristen had planned. “No! Kristen, please don’t do this! John doesn’t love you anymore, he wants to marry me, please Kristen, he’s hurt! Don’t you care about him?”
“Of course I do, and I have a doctor waiting back at my… retreat. He’ll be just fine when I get him settled into our new home. He’ll be happy, Marlena, in his life with me. We will live out the rest of our lives together. You see…very soon, he will forget all about you and his life in Salem.. all of it, except for me and our baby. Goodbye, Doc!”
“NOO!! NOOO!” Marlena kept screaming and trying to run toward the car. Finally, the man with the gun jumped in along with Kristen, and while the sights were still pointing at her, the car drove off. Marlena fell to the ground and cried out in her fear. “NO, PLEASE GOD!! Don’t let this happen!! SOMEONE STOP HER!!!”
Within seconds, police vehicles were there, and Bo Brady called out to her, “Marlena, what just happened here?”
She ran instantly toward him, “Bo, there’s no time to explain, please just go after that blue sedan. It’s Kristen, she took John at gunpoint! He’s hurt Bo!” He nodded and the car sped off in less than seconds, leaving her standing there in fear. “Oh, God.. please let Bo catch them…please! Don’t let evil win out over good again! We have suffered so much pain and separation, please bring John back to me safely!” She sat down on the ground and broke down in tears. “Oh, John…I’m sorry honey.. please be okay!”
Within moments, the other man John had hired came running up. She wasted no time in yelling at him, “You’re too late, she took him! You let her take him…I hate you!” The man knew she was just distraught and pulled her into an embrace, allowing her to vent her fear as she pounded her tiny fists against his muscular chest until she calmed down. After realizing what she was doing, she stopped abruptly and apologized, “Oh, I’m so sorry, I know it’s not your fault, but I’m so.. frightened for him!”
Kristen looked behind them and saw a police cruiser following at high speed. She just smiled…”Okay take the next exit at the very last possible second and then make a quick right into the warehouse district to switch cars.” This maneuver worked exactly as planned. Bo’s car drove past and had to double back. But they had called back to another car that was following, which did make the exit in time, and was not far behind the Chrysler vehicle.
With all the jostling, John started to come around, saw a blurred image of Kristen and was quite confused. “Kristen? where’s…Marlena? If you….hurt her…” He tried to sit up, but found it an impossibility, “Oh..my head…Doc, where is she?” He was anxious and slightly disoriented.
It made her burn with anger to hear that other woman’s name come out of his mouth. “She’s not here, John! I didn’t hurt her, but you will never see her again! You are mine now…forever, John.”
He was filled with a sense of terror; she sounded just like Stefano when she uttered those words. “No, Kristen…please..don’t do this…you were.. a good person, once. Do you really want to keep me from my children…all the people I love?”
John was fighting to keep unconsciousness at bay and couldn’t hear her all of her answer. “I will do whatever it takes to make you mine, John. I’m sorry to keep you from your children, maybe….if you…come to accept our love and settle into our new life together, I will consider sending for them.”
“I’ll never.. love you again, Kristen. I love Marlena, only Marlena.”
John passed out again and she sat there next to him, caressing his cheeks. “You WILL love me again, John and you will forget all about your precious, DOC! Once I get you to our hideaway….and I…help you to remember our love, she will be nothing but ancient history to you. And that’s a fact!” There was a sickening possessive smile on her face as she spoke, an expression that would have turned his stomach if he’d seen it.
As they approached the warehouse, one of the men saw the police vehicle arriving. “We have to give it up this time Ms. Blake, we’ll have to go with the backup plan, let’s go!” He motioned for her to get into the other car without John, so that they could get away. She glanced lustfully down at him, kissed him on the lips and said, “Well, I guess I’ll see you later tonight baby!” Then she got into the other car which was a Maserati, specifically purchased because it could manage very high rates of speed. The police vehicle wouldn’t have even a remote chance of catching them.
Within another minute, Bo pulled up and ran to the abandoned car to find John lying on the back seat. He was still unconscious and bleeding. “John, hey big brother, wake up.” There was no response, and Bo went to call for an ambulance and crime team to examine the car for any clues about where Kristen was headed or what she had planned.
Soon, another cruiser pulled up with Marlena inside. She ran straight toward Bo and saw that John was there too. She was at his side in another second. “Has he moved or said anything?” she asked, as she began to look him over.
“No response at all, Marlena he’s still out cold. But the ambulance is on the way now. I’m just glad we stopped her.” He let out a sigh of relief for that much.
“Yes, this time, but Kristen won’t quit, Bo! She’s just as twisted as Stefano. Marlena kept checking his vitals as she talked with Bo about the truth of their situation. “John has been trying to convince himself that she was no real threat to him, to us, but she just proved him wrong. She’s obsessed with John and she was planning to brainwash him to make him forget about me and love her instead. Kristen actually believes that she can force him to love her, and make a life with her and the baby. Apparently, she has taken the baby back from Susan and she has some new home for them. She’s sick, Bo!”
“Oh, my God she IS just as evil as her old man. I didn’t want to believe that of her, she seemed so.. good once, it’s horrible. Now you both have some twisted maniac after you.”
John was trying to regain consciousness. “Doc! Where’s Marlena is she okay?….Doc!” He wasn’t fully aware of his reality and his vision was blurry from the head injury. John tried to sit up, but found the dizziness intense. There was significant nausea as well, from being hit in the gut and the re-injury to his head. He fought it and kept moving around, which only served to aggravate the problem, at which point he vomited. Marlena cleaned him up as best she could and eased him back down into a supine position on the seat.
“Honey, it’s Marlena I’m just fine, but you got banged up a little bit.. please lie still until the ambulance comes to take you to the hospital, okay?”
That captured his attention. “No, Doc…I don’t want to go back to the hospital! Take me home.. please just take me home. It’s supposed to be one of the best days of our lives! I don’t want to spend it in the hospital. Please.” He was becoming fairly anxious about it and she didn’t want to force it at the moment.
“We’ll see what happens when the ambulance arrives and they check you out. If they think you’d be okay at home, that’s where we’ll take you, alright?”
John was slightly less anxious with that answer. “Okay, Doc…ohhh… it..hurts. What happened, Marlena? I…can’t remember. We stopped, the tire blew out, right? I got dizzy and fell…”
Marlena looked at Bo and they silently asked each other ‘Should we tell him now?’ She decided that he would want to know and began to explain, “John, it’s Kristen… she…tried to take you at gunpoint; her men hit you and put you in this car. We barely stopped her.”
He didn’t have a conscious memory of the incident; it was too hard to face what she had become. “No…not Kristen…she.. wouldn’t go that far, Doc. No… she could never pull it off by herself, she… would never..”
Marlena knew the conversation had been recorded by his mind, and eventually he would remember it. “Yes, John it was Kristen. She planned on…brainwashing you again, to make you love her. Apparently, she has a house for you, out of the country it sounded like. Somehow, she has the baby back and she planned on making a life with you there, John. I’m so sorry, honey… but she’s gone completely over the edge now.”
Marlena saw him react with the same sickened horror she felt when Stefano’s plans for her were mentioned. He shook his head, “No, she wouldn’t… do that, how can she think.. Oh God! How could I have ever…trusted or…cared for her? Ohh, Doc!” John got sick again, and Marlena helped him, then held him as he allowed the fear to reach his heart for only a moment before shutting down. He shivered violently and she didn’t know whether it was an emotional or a physical symptom. For the moment it didn’t really matter and she just held him until help arrived. John fell silent, immersed in the shock of learning just how evil the woman he once loved had become.
It wasn’t long before the ambulance arrived and the EMT’s examined John, briefly checking his papillary reactions, and several other neurological signs. When Marlena asked about taking him home instead of the hospital both men said, “I wouldn’t take him home without having him thoroughly examined first, you know Dr. Evans that head injuries are unpredictable and it would be easy to miss something important. The wise thing to do is to take him in and have him checked out again. She thanked them and poked her head into the ambulance where he was sitting with his head back against the gurney…trying to pretend he wasn’t in pain. “John, honey…I’m sorry but I think we need to go back to the hospital and have you checked out.”
“No! I don’t want to spend the day before our wedding in bed…at least not a hospital bed.” He tried to smile, but winced in pain because he was loud and forceful. “Darn it all, Doc I don’t want…to let her ruin our day…I’m fine, really…” John tried to get up off the gurney to prove his point and did fairly well until he attempted to climb down out of the ambulance. He lost his balance and Marlena had to steady him as he did so…or he would have fallen again. Their eyes met and he said, “Okay, so I’m….a little dizzy yet, but that will get better. Come on, Marlena…take pity on a guy..”
“John…if I make the wrong choice…there could be serious complications for you..do you really want to risk that..the day before our wedding?”
Reluctantly he agreed, “No I don’t, really…it’s just…we..never seem to just be able to enjoy some real happiness, it’s always compromised..by something or someone and I really wanted today to be a fun day with just you and me and the kids at the new house.”
“Well, maybe we can still have that if we go in, get you checked out, ask Shawn and Caroline to meet us at the house with the kids and then spend the whole afternoon together…how does that sound, John?”
John was as close to pouting as he could come and he said, “Well, I don’t like it, but.. I guess I can live with it, okay I’ll go in…but it better be quick, Doc.”
“Quick as we can make it, John. We’ll both feel better if we do this, you know..I don’t want you passing out in the middle of the ceremony tomorrow.”
“I can understand that, Marlena…I’m just disappointed, that’s all.”
There was an uncomfortable silence that enveloped them as they rode the rest of the way to their destination in the ambulance. Later, as they settled into an examining room, Marlena waited until they were alone to talk further. Then, seeing that John was lost in thought and thinking she knew why, she went to break the silence, “John…how are you doing….about… Kristen?”
“I…don’t…want…to talk about it right now. Okay?” He closed his eyes and she could see a tear or two leak out as he did so, and she just squeezed his hand in silent support, thinking how she wished she could help him with it.
He stayed quiet for several more minutes and she could see how upset he was. “Oh, honey I just want to tell you that…I know it hurts, and I’m sorry.”
That was all it took, and he said in bitter anguish, “I can’t..believe that I…loved.. her! Doc, how could I have ever loved someone who could do all that she did? Who could…openly try to.. force me to love her…to have sex with her!” He shook his head, trying to clear it of the image that had haunted him since Marlena told him what Kristen did in Paris, an image of himself in a trance-like state and Kristen commanding him to touch her, “Oh, Marlena, what’s wrong with me?”
“John….it isn’t your fault, it isn’t you. She became evil over time by giving in to Stefano’s ways…by not trusting you, by lying, and it just took control of her. Now, she doesn’t know any other way to be, John. Please don’t let this make you question yourself all over again. I…love you, John and I can’t wait to walk down the aisle to you and pledge my love and share my life with you!”
John pulled her into a firm embrace and said an anxious, “Thank you, Doc! I don’t know what I’d ever do without you by my side. I’m…nothing without you, Marlena!”
He sounded so vulnerable. What Kristen had tried to do had obviously shaken him and he just couldn’t say it that openly; this was his way. Reaching up to wipe a wayward tear she said tenderly, “John, you know that is not true. You are a wonderful, kind, loving person who has a lot to give and there are a lot of people who love you very much. Don’t let what Kristen did make you think there is something wrong with you, it’s her, John, just her sickness operating here.”
John was quiet for awhile again and then he opened his heart to the only person he could trust with his deepest feelings, “I guess I know that in my head, but…my heart…doesn’t understand.” Tears returned and he fought them back to say, “I really…trusted her…and…I …never, in my worst nightmare would have believed she could…betray me, that she could look me in the eye and lie so easily, and then hurt me and so many other people I cared about.” He paused a minute reviewing something, “You know, while we were on our way in just now I remembered that when…she was taking me away I woke up. She said I was hers forever, that….she would do whatever it took to…make me love her. I asked her how she could take me away from the kids and..” His voice broke before he finished, “..she said…that if I…accepted being with her and agreed to make a life with her that ….maybe she would…send for them.”
He started to let a few tears trickle out and said with a trembling voice, “Oh, Doc! You were right, she’s just…evil and she doesn’t…care about me at all…she just wants to possess me. I didn’t want to believe she was that evil, but she’s exactly like the Old Man. It…hurts so much to think of how I once loved and believed in her…love too! It makes me question everything about myself.” Another long pause to collect his thoughts, “Last night…you were so right, I don’t think I will.. ever be able to…trust again, not completely, and that hurts more than anything else, except of course that I hurt you.” He reached out to touch her face as if worshiping her, “You are the only person that I will ever be completely open with, Marlena. I trust you without question and I always will, but nobody else. Never again.”
Her heart went out to him and she leaned in to hold him close and said, “I’m so sorry, honey…and one day….a long time from now, maybe you will be able to get past this and learn to trust again. I hope so because you just limit yourself from some wonderful experiences and friendships if you don’t. I know it’s hard for you to believe you can heal from this, but you can, John.”
He shook his head in disagreement and with a disillusioned tone said, “No, I can’t Doc! It’s never gonna change. I will never again be able to look someone in the eyes and know if they’re lying or telling the truth…because I looked at her every day and I had….absolutely no….idea! I can’t trust anyone else because I can’t trust….myself!” John shut his eyes again and leaned back wishing it all away.
Marlena felt so bad for him and wished she could think of some way to lift his spirits and help him see some hope for healing to occur, “Oh baby, I wish I could help you with this… but I don’t know how!”
His voice was filled with profound sadness and disappointment, “That’s just it, Marlena, there’s nothing anyone can do about it. She destroyed my faith in my judge of character and my ability to be read people, and she stole my capacity to be open and trust in people and the damage can’t be undone, not ever.”
Marlena knew she couldn’t say anything that would help convince him otherwise at the moment so she just hugged him again. Then she said, “Well, I know one thing for sure and that is I love you honey and I believe in you, I believe in us together. I will always believe in you!”
John was so shaken by the whole experience and what happened earlier stirred the feelings that he had never truly shared with her because of the tension in the early going of their reunion. That plus the effects of the head injury led to an openly emotional display of his inner doubts. “Marlena..you…are..my whole world! You mean…so much to me and your love and belief in me, it gives me hope and helps me feel…like maybe…I’m worth something.”
Marlena reached out to caress his cheek, crying herself for how bad he was feeling, “Oh, John of course you are! Honey, don’t let her do this to you. She isn’t worth it, John. You are such a wonderful man, a good and trusted friend, a wonderful son and brother to the Brady family, a strong citizen in this community, and a loving father to your children. None of that has changed, John. Please don’t let what Kristen did take your faith and belief in yourself away.”
“I’m trying, Marlena…I am, but it’s so..hard sometimes. All that time I wasted with her because I couldn’t see through her facade We could have shared all that time. It all makes me so.. angry! I almost lost you because of it, how can I ever really get past it all, Doc?”
The answer came instantly, “I think you need to go to God as I did to ask for help in forgiving you. Maybe if you open your heart, he’ll help you learn to let go of the pain and self-doubt and truly love yourself again, and then maybe you can learn to trust in yourself and others too.”
John was silent, thinking about every word she said. “I think you’re right, Marlena. And you know, I think I’ve been avoiding it lately because I still resented that he didn’t help me with it, that he just let it happen when I have suffered such deception and pain in my life. It just seemed.. unfair somehow and so I haven’t prayed much lately. I guess it’s time I started again.”
She hugged him tightly and said, “Yes, he’s always there ready to listen, I know that better than ever now, John. What do you say that we go to the chapel together as soon as you are given a clean bill of health?”
He smiled weakly at her and said, “That sounds…like exactly what we both need, Marlena. I love you lady…so much. Your faith in me, it astounds me sometimes and I am so thankful, so blessed to still have you in my life.”
“I feel the same way about you, John. I love you with all my heart and I always will. I feel very blessed to be on the eve of our wedding.” The couple hugged each other closely and waited for the neurologist to arrive.
It wasn’t long afterward that the physician they were waiting for arrived and he came into the room, saying, “Hello, I’m Dr. Jim Thompson and I’ve just been looking at your chart and reviewing your medical history, Mr. Black. And I must say, you have quite an inclination to put yourself in dangerous situations in which you are injured, often with a blow to the head.”
John and Marlena looked at each other and laughed nervously, taking the doctor by surprise and then John said while still smiling, “Yes, I guess I do…I’m a real hard headed kind of guy.”
“Mr. Black I see nothing funny here, you’ve just re-injured yourself and that wound is no laughing matter. You may have some…significant ..damage this time. I want to do an MRI again after I examine the injury myself.”
They were stunned, thinking it would be a quick check, an okay and off they would go for a day of fun with the kids. “Woah.. but I thought…Other than the..headache and dizziness, I feel allright, what do you think might be wrong?”
“Well, that’s what the examination and a few tests will tell us. Now, please lay back and let me check you out.”
John complied readily while Marlena, who was quietly worried, held his hand. As the physician moved his hair out of the way and touched the wound and then pressed on the surrounding tissue, John let out an involuntary yelp and then abruptly passed out cold. Dr. Thompson commented, “Just like I thought..the swelling is indicative of..” He paused and then decided not to speculate. “Well, actually I won’t know anything conclusive until the new MRI has been completed and we have the results to review and compare with the previous one.”
Marlena was in a total state of shock, “What exactly are you thinking it could be, Doctor?”
“I can’t really say anything definitive, we’ll know more soon. I’d like to order some lab tests and a full blood panel. I’m sorry this is all coming as such a shock. I just came on board and this type of injury is a specialty of mine. Dr. Horton took the liberty to show me your fiancé’s chart. I…hope that is alright, I was concerned and hoped to see you this morning, but your fiancé had already been discharged. And now with him having landed hard directly on the same area….it may cause more problems.”
“What aren’t you saying, doctor?” She knew half-truth when she heard it.
“I’m saying, we may have a very serious injury on our hands, but I won’t know until all the results are in. Please be patient, Dr. Evans.”
“That’s easy for you to say, isn’t it? Look, I have just watched him get hit on the head by the butt of a gun last night, then after we left here this morning, we were both almost killed in an orchestrated car accident after which he collapsed. I helplessly watched him fall and hit his head again, and he came around, only to be slammed in the belly by the butt of a gun after which he was almost kidnapped at gunpoint by an obsessed ex-lover. And all this happened within the 24 hour period before our wedding, a wedding that by all rights should have happened years ago!! So, you tell me how to be patient, Doctor!”
The newest member of the Salem University Hospital was taken aback by her intensity, but he understood the stress she must be under and said, “That certainly is a lot to handle, I’m sorry if I seemed… unconcerned, that was not my intention, forgive me for being short with you.”
“You are forgiven; now just tell me what you really think is wrong, please.”
“Well, there appears to be major clotting going on, and that concerns me. If it…is a significant clot….there could be some serious complications. It could possibly be a post-traumatic aneurysm as well, I wasn’t sure upon examination. And the…. mass may be pressing on some nerves in the area which could cause some significant pain and possible paralysis.”
She didn’t say another word at first, but put her hands to her mouth and began to cry in fear of what the future held. She managed before he exited to whisper a quiet, “Thank you for telling the truth.” After the doctor left, she stared down, tears still flowing, at John who was so still and quiet as to seem almost lifeless. Taking his right hand in both of hers she said, “When you called this morning you said it was the second best day of our lives, John. But, it sure hasn’t turned out that way, has it baby?” She sat there next to him and prayed..”Oh, God..please don’t take our happiness… please let him be okay.”
A short time later, the lab technicians came in to take John down for the MRI, and Marlena leaned over to give him a quick kiss before they took him off. Them she realized that Shawn and Caroline would be worried and wondering where they were. She found the cell phone and called them saying, Caroline, it’s Marlena, I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner… but… ” She stopped short, trying hard not to break down before telling the woman what was happening. “It’s John… there was an accident and Kristen…. she tried to… kidnap him.” That was as far as she could get before the tears returned.
“Oh, Marlena.. I’m so sorry. Is he alright?”
“Oh, he’s just a wreck about it, Caroline. He’s so down on himself. She took so much from him, and what she did today.. it really shook him up. And now he…”
“What is it, honey?” It was clear that something was wrong.
“He.. hit his head again and the neurologist thinks that maybe… well, there could be any one of several serious problems.”
“Oh my God, Marlena, we’ll be right there. Please try to stay positive. I can’t believe that God will let him suffer any more than he already has. You *will* be married tomorrow, we need to have faith!”
“Oh, Caroline, I’m trying so hard to believe that… but it’s so hard. I’ll see you soon, okay?”
Her hand lingered on the receiver for a moment as she thought of how many crises they had all weathered together at University Hospital. “Why, God.. why now?” she asked the air around her. There were no answers, only questions and anguish.
As she finally folded up the phone, she felt a strong pair of hands on her shoulders and for a fleeting moment she thought it was John. Instead, it was Bo Brady. “Hey, Marlena.. ware you two okay, you ready to get out there and have some pre-wedding fun with the munchkins?”
When she turned around, he knew instantly that something was horribly wrong. “Marlena.. what is it? Is it John?”
She nodded and wept in silence for a moment before answering verbally. “Well, there seems to be a potentially serious problem, some kind of clotting trouble.. The fear was building and the rest of her thoughts came out in tear choked phrases, “Oh, Bo.. It might…. he could…” Then her hands went to cover her mouth, as if that gesture could prevent it from happening.
“Stop that, nothing is going to happen to that hard headed brother of mine! There’s nothing in this world that can stop him from marrying you tomorrow afternoon, and don’t you forget it.”
“I pray you’re right, Bo.” She melted into the comfort of his arms and cried some more. Within another minute, they were joined by Abe and Lexie, who was helping her husband negotiate the hallways in his wheelchair.
“Hey, you two.. what’s going on? Where’s John? I thought he was already discharged, this morning and you were going to spend the day….” Marlena’s face told him to cease talking about what was supposed to be.
“Bo answered for her. “Abe, I didn’t tell you about it because you were asleep when it all went down, and we’re just trying to make sense out of it ourselves. It’s John… Kristen tried to take him by force this morning. There was a planned accident and she took him at gunpoint with two of Dimera’s goons. Bo paused and Abe jumped into the space with a host of questions.
“Oh my God! Is he okay, did you catch her?”
Bo answered quickly. “We managed to stop her, just barely. But… before that, he got dizzy and fell. He hit his head.. he was in and out of consciousness.”
Marlena, now composed, explained the current situation in detail, “Abe, the neurologist is very concerned about that swelling Mike was worried about yesterday. And he thinks it’s serious. I’m scared Abe, this time I’m really scared!”
“This is so unfair. Haven’t we all been through enough?” Lexie too was very upset by everything that had happened, plans set in motion by her own father. She leaned down to hold her husband, thankful he was well on the way to a full recovery from the gunshot wound.
Abe was in a state of shock. “Marlena, I can’t even believe this is happening. John kept saying he didn’t think Kristen was a real threat, but… she’s just as sick and obsessed as Stefano.”
“I know. He was trying so hard to convince himself of that because he loved her once, and it was so difficult to admit that he was fooled by and cared for someone who is capable of such evil. John was just a mess about it, Abe.” Her voice broke as she recalled how defeated he seemed earlier. “He actually said that.. my love is about the only thing that makes him feel like he’s worth something. Oh, Abe.. he was so shaken up that someone he loved and trusted could do that, and he’s back to questioning everything about himself.”
“Oh, man… she caused him so much pain. I promise you, we’re going to get her, Marlena, I swear it!” Bo was angry, and he was committed to catching the woman for all the pain she caused to so many people he loved.
“And Stefano too!” Abe added, his own frustration obvious. “If it’s the last thing we ever do, we’re going to put them *both* away for the rest of their miserable lives!”
As they were talking, Shawn and Caroline came up behind them to join in the conversation. “Marlena, honey, is there any news yet?” The Brady matriarch hugged the woman she loved as a daughter, as she was asking the question, and then they broke off the embrace so Marlena could answer it for the whole group.
Shaking her head, she said, “No, he’s down getting an MRI right now and they’re running blood work too. It shouldn’t be much longer before we hear something. I pray for good news.”
“It’s going to be alright Marlena. John won’t be lettin’ anything stop him from marrying ya tomorrow, you got to know that!” Shawn said with enthusiasm. He was so positive it was hard to disagree.
After that, a long silence descended upon the small gathering of well wishers waiting for news of John’s condition. Within half an hour, Dr. Thompson came over to talk with them. “Well, I have some news for all of you. John has a blood clot in one of the arteries leading into the brain, and it could hemorrhage at any time. We’re going to try some medication to dissolve the clot, but if it doesn’t work quickly, we’ll have to go in and try to eliminate it surgically, which is very risky. I’m sorry, I know that isn’t what you wanted to hear.”
For a moment, Marlena was speechless. Then her anxiety let itself be known, “Oh, my God.. what if it… breaks up and travels?”
“I think you know the answer to that question, Dr. Evans. It could cause serious brain damage, or even…” He stopped short of saying the word. There was no point in making things worse. “But we’re going to do everything in our power to prevent that from happening. I’m going to make arrangements for both possibilities I mentioned. I’ll be back around to check on him soon. “He paused, as he remembered something. “Oh, and by the way, he’s been fighting for consciousness–keeps asking for someone named Doc. I’m assuming that’s you, Dr. Evans.” His face was sober, but his eyes betrayed him. They were smiling at her.
It made her weep to hear that, and she could only nod her head in response. Shawn and Caroline wrapped their arms around the woman they loved almost as a daughter. “He’ll be okay, Marlena.”
Several hours later, Marlena was sitting at his bedside, holding his hand. The others were out in the waiting area. She couldn’t believe all that had happened in such a short period of time; sometimes it seemed as though she and John were never going to have a chance at true happiness. She shared her fears with her Lord, “God, please.. heal him, let the medication work to dissolve this clot and make him whole so we can live out our lives together. I know you healed my broken heart. Now I’m asking you to bring physical healing to his body, and please Lord… touch his wounded heart and spirit, and bring healing there as well. It tears me apart to see him so down on himself. Please help me to show him what a terrific man he is… help him find a way to believe in himself again. Thank you for listening. Amen.”
Just as she was finishing her prayer, the neurologist came in. He wasted no time on pleasantries, “I have some good news. I’ve just reviewed the latest lab results and compared the scans. The clot seems to be dissolving fairly rapidly. I think we’ll see complete success with just the drug therapy. We won’t be needing any surgery.”
She could have kissed him. “Oh thank you doctor, thank you *so* much!” She looked down at the man she loved and asked him, “Did you hear that honey, no operation?” Then she turned back to the physician, “So… what about the wedding tomorrow? Will he be able to stand up and take his vows with me, or do we need to.. postpone it?” Hard as she tried not to sound desperate, Marlena couldn’t quite manage to keep the eagerness from her voice.
Dr. Thompson glanced at his sleeping patient, and then up at her worried face, as he remembered his own wedding, thinking how disappointing it would have been to delay it. “Yes, he can stand up for the wedding, but only if he is resting, preferably lying down, until immediately before the ceremony. Then he needs to take it extremely easy at the wedding and reception, with an early conclusion to all of it. Is that.. agreeable to you?”
Her eyes danced with delight, eliciting a hint of a smile out the stoic surgeon. “Oh, yes.. yes… thank you so very much!”
Soon after the physician left, John started to come around, having no idea of the turmoil everyone had experienced over the past several hours. “Doc? What.. happened? Did the doctor ever come and examine me?”
“Oh, honey… you have no idea…. what we’ve all been going through today. You were in big trouble with this injury, John. You’ve been out of it for hours.”
Confused, John said, “Out for hours? But, I thought.. tell me, Doc.”
“Well, you have a blood clot in an artery near the injury and the doctors have spent the afternoon trying to dissolve it with medication. If they were unsuccessful with it you would have needed surgery, John. It has been a scary time for everyone who loves you. But, it looks like the drugs are working very well. So well in fact, that the neurologist says you can even stand up and marry me tomorrow, if… you promise to rest until just before the ceremony.”
“Wow, all that was going on while I was out cold? I’m sorry for all I’ve put you through, Marlena. I am so glad I’m gonna be okay, though, because marrying you and starting my new life with you and the kids means everything to me, Doc.”
It means everything to me too, John. I love you and I’m so grateful you’re going to be alright now. But, I swear if one more thing…”
He quickly put an end to her sentence by covering her mouth with his soft, tender lips and he kissed with the passion he had hoped to share with her earlier when their day had been so rudely interrupted by the deranged woman he had once loved. The couple continued to kiss for several minutes when they were alerted by the sound of someone clearing his throat. Abruptly, they refrained from further acts of intimacy and turned to look toward the source of the sound.
It was Mike Horton who said, “I’m on a mission to separate the two of you, for two reasons. First, this guy is under strict orders to get some undisturbed sleep so that he can handle being an active participant in your wedding tomorrow. Second, the bride and groom are not supposed to spend their last night as single people, together. Therefore, the Brady and Horton families have sent me to retrieve this lovely lady so they can take her over to the Penthouse.”
Feeling robbed of time with his fiancé, John hoped he could change his doctor’s mind, “But, Mike.. after everything we’ve been through today? Come on… don’t I even get a few minutes with her?” he said in pleading tones.
“Sorry, John.. you really have been through a serious medical crisis here and you need to sleep. You won’t do that if she’s here with you, and we all know it. Even the newest doctor on our staff could see that much from watching the two of you together.”
Reluctantly, Marlena agreed, “I hate to admit this, John, but he’s right. You’ve been fighting sleep since I came in here and started talking to you. I should go… and I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.”
John shook his head. “No, Doc… don’t leave.. we’ve been apart too much and I… need you near me, please?” he said sounding endearingly vulnerable.
Mike took charge, working to impress his message on his recalcitrant patient, “John this is very serious. You could have died because of the injury and the complications you suffered today. I have to force this issue, no more visitors for the rest of the afternoon or tonight… I’m posting an order on it, and I’ll be checking back to make sure it’s followed,” he finished sternly.
Marlena leaned in to kiss her man goodbye. “I’m sorry, honey… it won’t be long and we’ll be married. I’ll see you at the house.”
The disappointment he felt was obvious. “Yea, see you at the church, Doc. Man, I wanted to spend the day together so much, and be with the kids too. I’m so disappointed… and I can’t help but feel like it’s partly my fault… I should have seen it coming. I just didn’t want to think that she..”
“John, stop this… You are not responsible for what she did and it’s understandable that you didn’t want to believe she had become so evil. Now, I want you to quit blaming yourself for what she does, alright?”
“Alright.. I’ll try, Doc. Goodnight Marlena. I love you and I can’t wait for tomorrow to come so I can call you my wife.”
She leaned in to kiss him one last time before parting, wiping a wayward tear from her cheek. “And I can’t wait to see you standing there waiting for me, looking so handsome in your tuxedo. I love you, honey, and it’s going to be just fine.”
As soon as she said it, she noticed he had already begun to drop off to sleep. “Sweet dreams, baby… “
After his seemingly miraculous recovery, John was able to spend the rest of the day before his wedding with Marlena and the kids. Admittedly, it was a much quieter time than he had envisioned as the day began, but it was nice to be home all the same. The neurologist had come in after Mike left, and seeing how depressed John was, the man had taken pity on his patient and allowed him to go straight home with a rehab nurse familiar with the symptoms of brain injury.
So, the groom-to-be was able to snuggle up and watch videos with the three of them for awhile and then he observed while they went outside to play on all the equipment he had purchase for their ample backyard. He smiled warmly at the sight of Marlena laughing and playing with them. She and one of the security people had taken a video camera along to record all the fun so he could experience it more fully when they came inside. He was aching to be out there with them, but knew he would be tempted to roughhouse and that was totally out of the question for him, so there he sat on the deck watching. ‘Oh, Doc tomorrow at this time we will finally share the same name again, the same life, and the same house, you and me and the kids will be together, forever! I love you so much.
A short time later, the kids came bounding into the house, all smiles and giggles, “Daddy, we love all the playground equipment you got us, thank you so much!” Brady said excitedly as he jumped onto his father’s lap.
“Yea, I wike it too. It’s awot of fun…we have our bery own pwaygound!” Belle chirped with great enthusiasm.
Malena smiled as she watched them snuggle up to John and said, “Yes, John you did a wonderful job on everything about this house and I look forward to the life we will all spend here starting tomorrow. I love it!”
John felt so happy to know that he had finally done something right for her. He made her feel good and safe, and it warmed his heart. “Doc, I’m so glad you like it. Looks like I finally got it right, I pleased you.” The way he said it was almost like a child hoping his parents liked his first mother’s day gift that was hand made.
She sensed the underlying emotions and said after kissing him, “John…of course you did. You do a lot of things to please me and you make me very happy just by loving me, honey.”
“And you make us happy too, Daddy.. cause we get to be a real family now!” Brady was thrilled about that reality.
Belle always wanted to be included too. “Yea and we wuv you so much! We weally missed you when you wived in dat manshun. I wike our new house much better!”
John pulled them all into a big bear hug and said, “I like it much better too! And I can hardly wait to see the two of you all dressed up and looking so grown up at our wedding tomorrow, the day we become an official family with the same last name.” He looked into Marlena’s eyes and saw that special kind of love shining back at him.
“Yes, tomorrow will be the very best day of our lives!” Marlena said joyfully, a broad grin decorating her beautiful face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After spending the last few hours with John and the children, Marlena was debating about whether to leave them so that she could go to the ladies party that Laura, Lexie, and Carrie had been planning before the craziness with Kristen and John’s injury occurred.
Knowing she wanted to go but was hesitant because of him, John said, “Hey..Doc..if you want to go see your friends, go ahead. I’ll be okay, the nurse is here and so are all the men I hired…everything will be fine.”
Marlena was definitely uncertain it was a wise course of action. “But, John if something happens to you while I’m gone, I…would never forgive myself for leaving you….”
“Oh stop it, Doc! I am not alone here as you can see, ” he said gesturing to the nurse and referencing the security people, So go on and have some fun with the ladies why don’t you?” He wanted her to have some time away from all of the stress that had surrounded them both for the past few months.
“Oh, all right, but only if you’re sure, John.” She wanted to give him every last out to have her stay with him. When he nodded firmly, she realized he meant it and decided to go. “Okay for just a little while, then I’m supposed to stay at the Penthouse with the ladies, but with you hurt… I don’t know about that either.”
“I asked Bo to come over and stay the night… just to make you feel better about it all. Does that help? I don’t need him here, but if it makes you feel more relaxed, then I’m willing.”
She leaned over the couch where he now lay and kissed him hungrily.. “Yes, it really does make me feel better, I don’t want to be apart after what happened today.”
Sadly he said, “Me neither, Doc but I don’t want to ruin the traditions you wanted to keep or spoil your fun with your friends. I know how much it means for you to share this with them. Go on, Marlena. Go and have a good time, I’ll be fine here.”
Marlena smiled dazzlingly and said, “Of course you will.”
The way she said it made him wonder exactly what she meant, but he didn’t ask. Instead he said, “Bye, Doc. I love you and I can’t wait till I get to call you Mrs. Black.”
“Oh, I love you too, baby!” She paused for just a second and then said, “Mrs. Black, boy do I like the sound of that! See you soon, honey!” She called that last phrase over her shoulder as she gathered the kids to take them with her and drop them off with Shawn and Caroline on her way to the Penthouse, something that had previously been arranged, before all the commotion of the day.
Belle and Brady kissed him and hugged John before leaving as well. Belle said, “Twy to get some west Daddy so you feel good tomaayoo, kay?”
“Maybe, you could take some more of that medicine for headaches so you can feel better and go to sleep easier,” said Brady with concern. “Daddy, I’m gonna miss you tonight, a whole lot.”
“I’m gonna miss you guys too, but after tomorrow we don’t have to be apart ever again!”
“Oh boy! I can hardly wait Daddy, I’m gonna be the best ring bearer that ever was!” said Brady with pride.
“And, I’m gonna be the best fwower girl too!” said Belle enthusiastically.
He hugged them both one last time before they left. “Of course you will. I am so glad you are going to be a part of our special day. Daddy will be so proud of you and so happy.”
All three of them called back as they left the house. “Goodnight, Daddy see you tomorrow! We love you!”
“I love you guys too!” ‘More than you’ll ever know,’ he thought as he watched them drive off. He was pleased to see the other car follow closely behind them down the driveway. He had put his best man on detail tonight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As John was settling back to a video, feeling slightly sorry for himself that he didn’t get to have the party with the guys that had been planned, the telephone rang. “Hello, John Black here,” he said.
“Sir…this is Tom Jackson…there are some….gentlemen here to see you and they wouldn’t take no for an answer. I know that the doctor had said..” He was interrupted by the men waiting, “Tell him the doctor’s here too!”
John chuckled as he now realized who they were, “It’s okay Tom, send them on up the drive, they’re my friends. And tell them thanks a lot.”
He walked slowly over to the door to wait for them to arrive. ‘Man, she knew they were coming, that’s why she didn’t resist going off and leaving me here. I love you, Marlena Evans!’
Soon, he was answering the doorbell, and standing there with wide grins were Bo, Mike, Austin, Eric, Mickey and even Jack, who had been suddenly released from prison. Jack had spent a little time with Jen and Abby before coming over with the guys after evidence of Peter’s whereabouts had come along unexpectedly. Everyone John felt close to except Abe and Shawn was there, and Abe had sent a gift along with the others. “Surprise!” they yelled in unison.
As he ushered them into the house with a matching grin, he said, “Uh…yea you could say that. I can’t believe you guys came all the way out here just to see me; thanks a lot! I have to admit, I was feeling a little…”
“Sorry for yourself cause the love of your life went off to see her friends and weft you all awone…with a headache…poor John,” interrupted Bo teasingly as he gave John a pat on the back.
“Jeez, give the guy a break would you, Bo…I mean look at all that’s happened…with the kidnapping and…” Mike stopped short as he noticed John’s pained expression, “Oh never mind…I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…”
He said quietly, “That’s okay Mike…I’m….fine.” He walked away toward the big picture window and was silent..
Mike stood there next to the others and said, “Oops, guess I blew that one, I sure didn’t mean to remind him, ” he said regretfully.
Bo responded, “This thing with Kristen really shook him up. He must have been trying so hard to convince himself she wasn’t as bad as Stefano, and today proved him completely wrong. That has to hurt a lot, he did love her…not like he loves Marlena, but still…”
Austin said, “Hey, we need to snap him out of it and get him thinking about how much he loves Marlena and how happy they’re going to be together. Come on, guys this is supposed to be a bachelor party.. right?”
“Right,” said Jack. “Listen, you guys go get the food set up and I’m gonna go talk to John a minute okay?”
He approached the man cautiously. They hadn’t talked in a long while and he knew the man was private about his pain. “John, hey…how you doing? I just wanted to thank you for your part in helping to spring me out of jail…it means a lot.”
John was silent for a moment and then said, “It was the least I could do, Jack after what you and Jen did to help me in Aremid. I don’t think I ever thanked you properly for that. And..I…” He paused trying to think of what he would say about Jack’s attempts to warn him about Kristen early on and his lack of help when Jack was trying to prove that Peter was as evil as his adoptive father.
“John…I’m.. really sorry about what happened with Kristen. I…wish I could have helped you more with that.”
Contemplating what to say, John took his time before responding. Following a weary sigh, he finally replied, “Hey, you tried to warn me, but I wouldn’t listen, I guess I wasn’t listening to anyone very well, not even myself. I wanted so much to believe she was different, that she was a good person.” Bitterly he shook his head and said, “I have never been more wrong about something in my *whole* life, Jack. If I didn’t know that before, what she did today sure convinced me. When I think of all the time I wasted…” His voice was filled with sadness, regret, and shame.
“Maybe you should talk to Jen…she knows exactly how you’re feeling, John. She believed in Peter for a long time and didn’t want to hear what I said either. As much I hated to admit it, she loved him a lot, and it was just hard for her to accept that he wasn’t who she thought he was, who he was with her.”
John shook his head again. “I don’t know.. Oh, man, what is wrong with me? I need to just let this go and be happy with Marlena. She loves me, and God knows how much I’ve loved her all this time. I don’t understand why it all seems so…important now.”
At that moment, Bo walked up and said, “Because today Kristen took it way over the line, John, and it reminded you of all the evil things she did. It brought back all the thoughts and emotions you never really shared with anyone. Don’t be so hard on yourself, Bro it’s only natural that what she did would shake you up a little.”
He sighed and turned to face Bo with a slightly surprised expression, “So, when did you get so smart about these things, little brother?”
“Since I’ve been talking to Marlena. She understands you very well, John, and she loves you so much. She told me… what you might be going through tonight.”
John never ceased to be amazed by the depth of her love and her understanding. “God, I love her!” He shook his head again and said, “Okay, let’s forget about all this and get on with some fun. Thank you guys for coming here to see me. Mike, thanks for….working it out with the specialist for me to come home, I was really down about staying in the hospital, it means a lot to me, what you did.”
“It was Jim Thompson who did it, John he felt awful for you when he went to check on you and we….discussed it. We both agreed that if you had the nurse here and then I came on out to check on you, it would probably be okay.”
“Well, then I’ll have to send him a thank you too!”
Eric waited and approached John when it seemed a little more quiet and private. “John, I know we haven’t had a whole lot of time to talk recently…and I.. well, I want you to know that I can see how happy you make Mom, and I wish you the best of luck in marriage. I’m happy for you both.”
“Thank you Eric, that means a lot coming from you. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy. I know that some of my choices hurt her, you can never know how much I regret that. But, I promise you from now on, I will only bring her joy and I won’t hurt her that way…not ever again.”
“I know you won’t, John. I know you love her deeply and that she really loves you; she always has, even Dad knew that. He wanted her to be happy and in a way… this was what he would have wanted. Congratulations!”
John stood there for a moment, fondly remembering the past and feeling grateful for the present. Then he said a simple, “Thank you…son,” and pulled the blond-haired young man into a warm embrace that lingered. After a few quiet moments together, thinking of the old days, they moved back toward the others, arms around each other’s shoulders. Then to the gang John said, “Now…let’s…party!”
The guys all agreed and quickly settled down to some music and a beer or two, with a little goofiness and teasing thrown in for good measure. Then they talked about the women in their lives for awhile, and in one way or another all of his friends said the same two things to him. “John…you are one lucky son of a gun that Marlena still loves you. And why in the heck didn’t you tell her how you felt sooner?”
He replied, in essence, “You are exactly right, I am the luckiest guy in the world and I was a fool not to tell her! If I have learned anything from the whole sorry mess, it’s that no matter how hopeless it seems you need to tell the woman you truly love how you feel about her!”
They laughed lightly at his intensity, but all agreed. Austin and Bo were nodding and Bo said, “You are so right, John. I learned that same lesson and almost lost Hope over my hesitation too.”
“Yes, and I came so close to losing Carrie because of Sami and my confusion about being Will’s father, and my responsibility to him. Thank God I finally took control of the situation and we got married.”
Then having had enough talk, they all settled down to watch the latest Mel Gibson action-adventure film, escaping a the world where men were strong and tough, and most importantly, always there to rescue their damsels in distress. All of them felt they would do the same for the women they loved, and it brought a vicarious thrill and sense of affirmation to see Mel’s character be the hero they each wanted to be in their hearts.
Marlena dropped off Belle and Brady after an uneventful trip to the Pub, and headed on over to the Penthouse where Maggie, Carrie, Sami, Laura, Lexie, Hope, and Jennifer were already waiting for her. They had decided that having the gathering there made the most sense, even though they had to bring in tables and chairs and even the beds some of them would sleep on. It was going to be like a slumber party. Some of the children were being watched by the ever helpful Shawn and Caroline Brady and others by Alice Horton and Shawn Douglas, who was becoming quite a responsible young man. So, the ladies had the whole night to themselves for girl talk and conversations about their men. What freedom!
Marlena was pleased to have the chance to share her pre-wedding excitement with her friends and knew John needed a chance to be with the guys too. Oh, how I love you, John. I can hardly wait to marry you…it seems like forever…since we were together in marriage. Well, we will be together from now until the end of time,’ she thought as she waited for the elevator to take her on up to her place; her old place, she corrected. Now, you have a new house that will soon become a home filled with joy and laughter, and a new life with the man of your dreams.
As she entered the condo, she was greeted by her two daughters first. “Mom’s here! they announced to the others happily. “Mom, we’re so glad you could come, how’s John?”
“Well, amazingly enough he is doing pretty well, he gave me quite a scare, but he’s going to be okay. Mike let him come home in the middle of the afternoon so we actually had a little time together with the kids.”
“But, I thought he had a serious problem and had to stay overnight at the hospital again,” said Carrie with a puzzled expression. Things changed fast where John was concerned.
“Well, that’s what Mike and Dr. Thompson said, but I guess after Mike left, Dr. Thompson went in to see him and John was so depressed about it the doctor felt sorry for him. He decided that if he sent John home with a special nurse, he would probably be alright. And Mike said he would go over when the guys took the bachelor party to the house, and he’d do a quick examination.”
“Too funny, I can just see John with a little boy pouty face and the doctor coming in and feeling sorry for him,” said Laura, laughing at the thought.
“Me too,” said Sami. “I still remember sometimes when he had some activity planned that he thought we would love and we weren’t too thrilled with it. He would get this…puppy dog look and we would always go along with him.”
Carrie started giggling and said, “I almost forgot about that, he was really good! Sometimes he actually had me feeling guilty if I didn’t want to spend extra time with him…. he has a gift alright.”
Smiling as she thought of the times he had done the same thing to her, Marlena agreed, “He has quite a talent doesn’t he? I can remember some times myself when he wanted something. He would put on this sweet… pleading look and I would just melt, still do as a matter of fact. Don’t you ever tell him I said that though!” Marlena stopped for a moment to imagine him smiling at her with that trademark grin. “Oh, Boy do I love him!” She felt the chills all over her body, just thinking of him.
Lexie came on over and said, “I am so thrilled for you, Marlena. You and John deserve all the happiness in the world. You have always belonged together.”
Then it was Maggie, “Yes you have.. I am so pleased for you both! I wish you a long and happy life together, like Mickey and I have.”
“Oh, you are going to get me started again!” she said with tears in her eyes. “I swore I wasn’t going to cry anymore.”
“What are girlfriends for if they can’t make you cry the night before your wedding to the man of your dreams?” asked Laura.
“Good point, Laura,” said Hope. “Marlena, I know how much you love John, how much you have always loved him and Bo and I are so excited for you…that you can finally be together. If anybody knows what it’s like to almost lose a chance at sharing your life with your greatest love…it’s us. We’re just thrilled for you.”
Marlena commented in kind ,”Oh, Hope we are so happy for you and Bo too; we know it wasn’t easy for you two to work things out either. I guess that Alice is right about true love winning out in the end.”
Next it was Jennifer’s turn and she came over and hugged the bride to be, then said, “Marlena, I think you’re right about that. I am so glad you and John found your way back together and that you’re getting married tomorrow. And, I want to thank you for your help in getting Jack out of prison. We might have a real chance now too.”
“You’re so welcome for that. I hope you two find your reunion every bit as sweet, but not nearly as eventful as ours.”
That reminded Jennifer of what else she felt the need to say. “I also wanted to tell you how…sorry I am about what happened to John today. I hope he’ll be okay, emotionally as well as physically.”
“Thank you for being concerned, Jennifer. We both appreciate your support but don’t worry about John, he’s going to be just fine.”
“Well, I was thinking about him a lot today after I heard about what happened. I know how he must be feeling about everything that’s happened. It took a long time for me to accept just how evil Peter really was and…if…..John needs someone to talk with who has been there, I want him to feel free to call me anytime. I really do understand, I was completely fooled by Peter too.”
“Oh, Jen….thank you so much. He really might need that, but getting him to…call you, that’s another story. John is so…private about it. I don’t know if he could allow himself to open up with you, even if he knew he would benefit. It took almost getting kidnapped for him to admit even to me how he really felt about all that she did to hurt him.”
“I can understand that he probably wanted to just try to move on with you and put it all behind him. I tried to do the same thing, but eventually I had to face how much it hurt to be betrayed by someone I loved. Anyway…I’ll help if I can. But for now, let’s get on with the reason we’re here, which is… to celebrate the fact that you and John have found love again and will be married in less than twelve hours.”
Her face lit up like a beacon in the night, her hazel eyes sparkling with tears of joy.
As the ladies were sharing stories about the men in their lives and giggling about the silly gifts they each gave Marlena, her cell phone rang. It was her lover, but he sounded distant…strange. “John, is that you?”
“Yes, Doc it’s me…listen, I’m really missing you and I want you to meet me at the pier in about half an hour.”
“But, John Mike said…you needed to take it easy and have no stress. I don’t think we should…”
He was insistent. “I miss you too much, please meet me, Marlena!”
“Alright, but I don’t think it’s a good idea… you should be resting..”
“I’ll rest better after I see you, Doc, thanks, I can hardly wait! Bye.”
“Okay, John I’ll be there…goodbye.” She thought the whole exchange was off somehow, but she couldn’t put a finger on what it was that seemed odd.
Marlena turned to the ladies and said, “That was really strange…John wants me to meet him on the pier and he knows he shouldn’t do anything like that. He promised me earlier he wouldn’t overdo it…hmmm.”
Carrie piped up, “It sounds just like him. When we talked on the phone earlier he was saying how robbed of time with you he felt after what Kristen did today. I’m sure he just wants to spend a few extra minutes with you. If you want to know, I think it’s romantic.
“Actually, so do I to tell you the truth. I just don’t want him to risk his recovery by doing too much.” Marlena did want to meet him if only to make sure he was really okay, he had sounded strange on the phone and she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.
Laura came over and said calmly, as she put her arm around her friend’s shoulders, “He’ll be fine, Marlena. Don’t worry so much and just bask in his love for you. Tomorrow you’ll be married and start your new life together.”
The ladies talked for awhile longer and all agreed to wait until Marlena returned before breaking up the party. Marlena gave them all a hug and they said, “Have fun and say hello to John for us!”
“I will, see you soon!” She skipped on out of the Penthouse, waved at the security people and then stopped to lean into the car that would follow her. “I just got a call from John and I’m meeting him at the pier so don’t worry.”
“Okay, but we’ll still be out there watching,” said the bodyguard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A short time later, John was sitting there watching the movie with the guys and starting to doze off, when a sudden chill came over him. He shivered noticeably. Bo was sitting next to him and was concerned. “John, what is it?”
He tried to discern what it was and why he felt it. “I’m not…sure. I felt a chill and…it’s Doc, I think something is…wrong somehow.”
“But, John she’s at the Penthouse, safe and sound with the ladies. We called and checked a little while ago, remember?” reminded Bo.
“Yes, I remember but still….I better call again, even if she thinks I’m being paranoid, I’ll feel better knowing for sure. He grabbed the phone and dialed the number. Laura answered.
“Laura, hi could you let me speak to Marlena please? I just had the strangest feeling she was in danger.”
“John, I thought you were meeting her on the pier, she should be there about now. Where are you?” A sinking feeling hit her stomach as she asked.
“I’m at the house. The pier, why the pier?” He was instantly alarmed.
“John, she just got a call from someone asking her to meet him at the pier and she thought it was you. Oh, no…she left…and told the men not to worry because it was you she was meeting!”
“Oh My God!”
There was a pregnant pause, then he said, “Stefano!” at the exact same time as the name came to her lips. “Stay where you are, all of you! I’m going down there now!!” He leaped off the couch, totally ignoring the injury and the pain. There was nothing he wouldn’t endure or risk for her. Since he was in a robe at this point, he ran up the stairs three at a time to grab some pants and threw them on, tucked his gun behind his back, took his boots and was to the door before the others could even react appropriately. He was stopped by Mike and Bo and the nurse, who stood in front of the door, blocking his path. “John, you can’t go! You are injured and it could cause serious problems if you go racing out of here! Tell us what’s happening!” That was Mike speaking as a concerned doctor and friend
John was distraught and couldn’t think straight, let alone talk intelligibly. “There’s no time! I’m leaving to save Marlena! If you want to stop me you’re going to have to knock me out, otherwise, get the hell out of my way!!! “
They parted and allowed him to go out the door, then quickly followed and jumped in the Jeep Grand Cherokee with him. The others piled into Austin’s car, and the whole bunch raced off in the darkness toward the pier.
Marlena was on the Pier in the spot where their incredible reunion, after five long years apart, had taken place. It was also the location where they had admitted the truth about their ongoing love, on the day of the interview with Jennifer. So long ago, all of that seemed, and yet in some ways it was like yesterday. As she remembered, she said softly to herself, “Oh, honey I can’t wait to see you tonight and to marry you. Finally, we can be together like we were all those years ago, and we’re going to share the rest of our lives, as it was meant to be.”
Stefano watched her, standing back to admire her beauty for a few minutes. “Ah..my beautiful queen…soon you will be mine…for all of time, and John will become a distant memory for you. I will make you forget all about him.” He waited until she was within a couple of feet of him and his henchman. They planned to spirit her off in a limo and then a helicopter. The man who had been following to protect her had been taken out already. She was alone; once they got her into the car they were home free, or so they thought.
As Marlena breathed in the night air, she felt a chill come over her as well, something was wrong. She sensed a familiar presence…an evil one. It could only be…Stefano! Oh, my God!
She started to panic and turned quickly to head toward the stairs when he grabbed her and put his hand over her mouth so she couldn’t cry out. “Don’t scream… I won’t hurt you, Marlena. You had to know I would come for you before your wedding. Marrying John would be the worst mistake you could ever make, he can never make you happy like I can.”
Pulling out of his hand hold, she replied fiercely, “Stefano, you could never make me happy because I despise you! You are a miserable excuse for a human being and you have no idea what love is. You’ll never understand the kind of love John and I share, because it is a selfless love, based on the well-being and happiness of the other person above all else. You and Kristen both tried to use our love, our willingness to sacrifice our own needs for each other to destroy us, but you couldn’t do it, and you never will. Our love is an undeniable, unstoppable force Stefano. John will come for me, no matter what you do, no matter where you go, he will find me and save me from your evil. You will never be able to keep us from being together!”
He was incensed. “NO! You will be mine! I can give you the world Marlena. With me you will have the life you deserve, the life John can never give you.” He took her firmly in his arms and placed a hankie that was soaked with chloroform over her mouth and nose. She fought briefly before her body went limp in his arms. She managed to make a choked scream before she lapsed into unconsciousness.
John had just arrived and jumped out of the Jeep, quickly heading for the pier. Hearing the muffled cry, he exclaimed, “That’s Doc! Oh My God, he’s got her!” He jumped down the full flight of stairs in one leap and then saw them. Bo and Mike were several yards behind the adrenaline charged fiance. The other car had yet to pull to a stop as John shouted, “Stop right there, Dimera! You’re not going anywhere with her!” He held a gun on the man and his trigger finger was ready. Stefano repositioned himself quickly, placing her body directly in front of his. John froze. He knew the man would never let her be hit, but he couldn’t take the risk either. What can I do? No way am I gonna let him take her, but.. if I shoot…Oh God, please help me out here!’
“John, you know you have to let me go and take her with me or you risk her life, you don’t want to do that do you?” Stefano knew he had the upper hand, he always did because of his enemy’s willingness to sacrifice anything for Marlena.
“You forget, I’m a crack shot Stefano, I can hit you and miss her completely.” He prayed the man wouldn’t sense that he was bluffing to stall for time.
Stefano spoke confidently, “If you love her you like you say that you do, you would never risk that.” The evil man looked closely at his enemy and said tauntingly, “Oh, look at that your hand is shaking… you might miss fire, John. And I bet your head is pounding and your vision must be blurry from that nasty little bump on the head.” He laughed that ever present, haunting laugh, the one that made John burn with the old rage born of helplessness to stop him from his evil acts. “Goodbye, you fool, she is mine!” Stefano started backing up slowly, and his henchman was now visible, a semi-automatic weapon pointed at them.
“NO! You won’t take her again! I will never let you take her again!” John was edgy, full of fear for her and rage for the pain the madman and his family had inflicted on him and the people he loved. He might do something impulsive, dangerous; Mike and Bo saw that reality in the tension which oozed from his pores.
Bo put a firm hand on the top of his right shoulder. John yanked himself out of Bo’s grasp saying, “Don’t even think about trying to stop me or interfering, this is between Dimera and me. I’ll die before I let him take her again….I swear it!”
Stefano laughed harshly at his intensity. “Of course you would die for her, John….you would do anything for her…even let her go with me to save her, wouldn’t you? Checkmate, my pawn!” Stefano continued to move slowly away from them, closer toward the awaiting limousine. He was thoroughly convinced of his ability to spirit her away.
He didn’t see the sudden move and John took a flying leap, bridging an incredible distance. The henchman’s gun fired with the movement, sending bullets flying everywhere, John was hit but still kept coming, landing on top of the man. He impacted softly with the cushion of the shooter’s body and got up quickly to grab Stefano, who was taken by surprise at his enemy’s swift, decisive action. John managed to get a fairly good grip and wrestle Marlena out of the evil man’s grasp, pushing her toward Bo and Mike, who both fell down with the momentum of her weight.
Stefano saw that John was hit and slugged him hard in the right shoulder area, where the wound was, and it was just enough to cause John to drop the gun. They struggled to reach it. Stefano got there first, John lunged for his hand and they each fought fiercely to get a firm grip on it. John finally managed to get it away, but it skidded out of his grasp and Stefano took advantage of the opportunity. After one more good kick at John’s shoulder, he got up and started to run. John groaned and put a hand to the injury briefly, then recovered in the next moment and crawled toward the gun.
In less than seconds, John turned his body toward his enemy and aimed as best he could with the badly injured shoulder, steadying the weapon with his left hand. He shouted a warning; it was more than the Bastard deserved, thought John as he pointed the gun and secretly hoped the man didn’t heed it. “Stop Stefano, stop or you’re a dead man!!”
Stefano kept going, his henchman rising too, but Bo had gotten up and felled him with one punch. John tried to hold the gun steady, but the piercing headache, blurred vision, and dizziness were returning. He fired and missed. Fired a second time and missed. The third shot hit the madman in the upper part of his right leg, but the determined Stefano kept moving toward the relative safety of the awaiting vehicle. He managed to get to the limo as John laid there on the ground, helpless to do anything more to stop the evil monster who had caused him and so many people he cared about unimaginable misery. “DAMMIT!!” he cursed while watching the vehicle drive off, and then he collapsed.
What John didn’t know was that his last bullet had hit Stefano in a very critical area of the leg and the man was bleeding profusely. He had to have emergency treatment and since he dropped off into unconsciousness, the driver took him to the hospital. That man had worked for Dimera for a long time and knew just what to do, he slipped quietly into the ER and snagged the first doctor he saw. It was the newest doctor on the staff who had volunteered to take Mike’s shift so he could go out to celebrate with his friends and check on John’s condition. The henchman took the doctor at gunpoint and they were off into the night, leaving no trace of their brief presence, or so the henchman believed.
A young nurse had overheard the intense but brief conversation between the doctor, who resisted strongly, and the man with a gun. She had hidden herself, but she heard enough to know that the hideout was very near Salem. Realizing that Commander Carver and Bo Brady would want to be informed, because her husband was on the police force, she went immediately to see Abe Carver in his hospital room. He responded by putting out an APB on the men, and amazingly enough, fortune smiled upon them all. A police cruiser was a block away from the hospital and had already been following the speeding limousine as it raced out of the hospital parking lot. Several other vehicles followed suit, and within minutes they cornered the limousine in an area where the car could not be driven away. If the two men managed an escape, it would have to be on foot.
Marlena regained consciousness fairly quickly and though shaken, she was otherwise unharmed. She asked, “What happened? where’s Stefano and John, where is he, is he hurt?”
Bo wanted to stall her from going to John until he was sure she was alright herself. “Woah, slow down Marlena..let us just check you out for a minute and then I’ll answer your questions. Stefano tried to take you and he managed to get away, but he was definitely shot this time and that might help us get him. John is here, he stopped Stefano from taking you away again.”
Bo hesitated briefly and Marlena jumped in, “Where is he, what happened, what aren’t you telling me Bo?” She knew something was wrong and was frightened in the vacuum of information.
“He…..made a daring move to stop Stefano from taking you and he…was…shot, Marlena. Mike’s working on him now and the ambulance is on the way.”
“My God!” She looked down the distance of the pier and saw Mike leaning over the man she loved who was sprawled awkwardly on the ground, completely still. She rushed over to check on him and saw blood flowing from his right shoulder. “Mike, how bad is it?” Marlena was so frightened to see him this way.
“It’s hard to tell at the moment because the bleeding is significant. This is a similar wound to the one Abe suffered last night and he’s doing just fine, don’t forget that alright?”
“What about the head injury? Did he reopen it or fall on the right side?”
“Not that I can tell, but it looked like he got dizzy and had blurred vision while trying to stop Stefano. I’m not sure what that means, but we will follow up on it when we get him in to the hospital.”
John started to come around, obviously anxious and worried about the woman he loved, “Doc? Where’s Marlena? Is she okay?”
She cradled his head in her hands and said, “Honey, it’s Marlena I’m here and I’m just fine. You’re the one we’re concerned about right now. You’ve been shot, John.. in the right shoulder and you’re bleeding pretty seriously right now, so we need to take you to the hospital and get you fixed up.”
He shook his head slightly in response, “No, don’t want go back there, I just wanna to go home and be with you, Doc please!”
“John, you’re hurt, I can’t take care of you at home, honey you need emergency medical treatment.”
He wasn’t fully oriented and was not willing to negotiate with them; he started to become a little agitated and tried to sit up. “No! I am not going…back there!” John was momentarily confused about the severity of his condition and it was clear that a trip in an ambulance would be a hard sell.
Bo was still with John and Marlena and the others waiting for the ambulance when the call came in. “Bo Brady here.” He listened and then said incredulously, “Incredible… yea, we’ll be right there!” He turned to the others and said, “You won’t believe this, but they’ve got Dimera cornered a few miles away from the hospital!”
John, who for all intents and purposes had been out of commission for the last several minutes, sat up unexpectedly and said with excitement, “Let’s go!” He met with great resistance from all fronts as he made a move to get up off the ground.
“No way, John! You are not going anywhere!” said Mike Horton pushing him to lie back down.
He fought the doctor as well as Bo; even Marlena’s hands were there trying to hold him down on the ground. He responded in frustration and anger, “I have waited for this moment for more than a decade and you think I’m going to miss it? You’ll have to sedate me or punch my lights out if you think you’re going to stop me from being there when he goes down, Mike. I mean it, now let me go!”
Marlena, still with her hands on his chest to restrain him, made what she knew was likely to be a fruitless attempt to reason with him. “John, listen to me, I know how important this is to you, but you’re bleeding pretty badly. You may actually put your life at risk if you get up now. Do you really want to do that for the personal satisfaction that watching Stefano get taken in will bring? Is it worth your life, John? Is it worth risking our future?”
He felt like he had just been punched in the gut. She was right, his anger and desire to bring Stefano down, to watch him being taken into custody could cost them what they’d been fighting so hard for. John knew that he should stay and let the police handle it, that he should lie down and go to the hospital for treatment, but a part of him just couldn’t do it. He wavered as he saw Marlena’s fear and the tears that had started to trickle down her cheeks, then noticed Bo’s anxiety about going to the scene. John quickly sat up again and said, “Wait, Bo I’m…coming with you.” He turned to Marlena and said regretfully, “I’m sorry, Doc this is something I…..have to do. I love you!” He wiped away her tears, kissed her softly and then managed to make it to his feet all on his own power and essentially stagger to where Bo was standing and hand him the keys to the Jeep.
Bo flashed an apologetic look to Marlena, Mike and the whole group that was quietly watching the scene unfold. Then he said, “I can’t wait any longer, I’m sorry Marlena,” as John labored to climb into the passenger side of the vehicle.
He didn’t look back at Marlena as they drove away from the waterfront area. John could handle almost anything, but to see her cry in fear of his life was the worst. Instead, he turned to Bo as they raced toward the scene and asked, “What happened Bo, how in the hell did they catch up with Dimera ?”
“Well, apparently his driver kidnapped a doctor from the hospital and was going to force him to take care of Stefano. A nurse whose husband is a cop saw it go down and told Abe and there just happened to be a cruiser already following the limo when the APB was announced. There are several vehicles involved and they have the vehicle cut off; there’s no way they’re getting out of there.”
John was exhilarated and felt adrenaline surging through his veins as he said excitedly, “Alright! I can hardly believe this, Bo! This is what I have been waiting for all these years…to see him sweat and go down…” John’s voice unexpectedly started to trail off as the headache flared swiftly and the constant pain in the wounded, still bleeding shoulder threatened to make him pass out. John groaned despite his efforts to conquer the sensations of pain that took away almost all conscious thought. “Oh!” He put his left hand to the injury, leaned back in the seat and shut his eyes, then called upon whatever mental disciplines he could find to force the reaction down and fight off the encroaching darkness.
Bo looked over at him and was very concerned at what he saw, the man he called brother was bleeding heavily and he was white as a sheet. “John, man….Marlena and Mike were right, this is a really bad idea for you! You’re in rough shape, you should be in the hospital right now, getting treatment for that gunshot wound. This is just stupid!”
Rational thought seemed to leave him where Stefano Dimera was concerned. He spoke from the intense anger he had carried for years, “I don’t care! I am gonna be there to see his face when he goes down, Bo! He has hurt us all for the last time and I can’t wait to see him in handcuffs and behind bars!! It’s the very least he deserves for what he’s done to Marlena, me, the whole Brady family!”
“I know how you feel, John. He kept Hope from me for a long time too and that separation was the beginning of the trouble between us…with all the confusion about her identity. I have wanted a piece of him ever since then too, but is it worth losing your life or even just not being able to marry Marlena tomorrow? John if you don’t get help now you could definitely be risking that and… you’re hurting her, man.”
“I know…. I know…and I’m… sorry about that, but it’s too late to change my mind now, Bo. Look, there they are!” John said as he pointed to the spot where the limousine was surrounded by several police vehicles. The policemen were standing behind the shelter of their cars with guns drawn, poised for action. It was clearly a standoff and John said, “Show time, Bo!” and the adrenaline flowed, letting him forget about the pain for the moment.
Bo stared at his *brother’s* now completely blood-soaked shirt and shook his head as they headed rapidly over to where the police hostage negotiator was huddled with several sharpshooters, devising a strategy to take down Stefano and save the life of the physician who had been taken hostage. “You are positively certifiable big brother!” Bo said under his breath as he watched John practically fall over while he slowly walked a few feet away to lean against a building for support.
John heard the comment and said, “Maybe so, but I’ve been waiting to be a part of this showdown for a very long time and I won’t miss it, not for anything!”
Someone came up behind him and put a hand on his back, “Not even for me, John?”
That voice was unmistakable, it was Marlena. Oh no… He turned to her and asked incredulously, “Doc! what are you doing here? I don’t want you anywhere near here, this is too dangerous for you!” Then before letting her answer, he spoke to the man with whom she had arrived, “Mike, how could you let her come here?” John was feeling tremendous fear for her safety and concern about her emotional state after what had just happened.
Mike was astounded by the man’s attitude, “Let her….let her? John, do you think anyone could have stopped her when she knew how badly injured you were and that you were putting yourself into another bad situation. John, I could no more keep her from coming here than any of us could stop you from going with Bo. You have only yourself to blame for the fact that she’s in danger right now!”
The man had no answer for that brutal truth, realizing that if she were hurt, it would once again be his fault for leading her into harm’s way.
The hostage negotiator approached them and Marlena stared at John, surveying his blood covered clothes. “John, I want you to stop this foolishness and go with me to the hospital….Now!”
He looked at her and then at the man who was coming to talk with him, to pick his brain about Stefano Dimera, and he was uncertain. He desperately wanted to be present when the monster who had tormented him and the people he loved was finally taken in, but he could see her fear, her…disappointment with his unwillingness to make the wise choice, and he was torn. “Doc, I….I’m sorry, they need me here, nobody knows him better than I do, Marlena. I might be able to help save the doctor he kidnapped, I think it’s Dr. Thompson. He saved my life, it’s the least I can do to try and save his in return.”
She was angry, and so frustrated with his behavior, “If that was the real reason… I would almost support you in this… but that’s just a convenient excuse, John. The truth is you are willing to risk your life, our wedding, and our future together because you want to get some kind of sick pleasure out of watching him….be taken, maybe killed. You disappoint me so. Don’t come looking for me when it’s over… Goodbye, John!” Marlena walked away and left him standing there, still leaning against the building.
The man she loved was flabbergasted and called after her rapidly moving form, “Goodbye…. what are talking about, Doc?”
She turned around and spit the words at him, “You heard me, John. I’m finished with this insanity! You can risk your life if you want to, but you’re going to have to play your foolish hunt and chase games all by yourself!” Marlena then walked purposefully away from him at an even faster pace.
He followed her and tugged on her arm, turning her around to face him. “What are you saying here, are you….giving me an ultimatum?”
Marlena sighed and then replied firmly, “You said it, I didn’t, but I guess you could call it that, yes!”
John stated it for her, “So, I either go with you now or it’s over for us…is that it?” He couldn’t believe she would put him in that position, but he had to know.
“Simply put, yes…that’s it, John. Make your choice…me or Stefano.” Marlena walked away from him again to let him ponder his decision and there he stood equidistant between the woman he loved with his entire being and the collection of policemen planning to take down his tormentor. ‘Oh, man…. she doesn’t make anything easy… well, why should she, John? If you love her like you say you do..’the phrase Stefano himself had used earlier flashed repeatedly in his mind, and he made his choice in that instant.
John walked slowly over to the hostage negotiator and said somewhat reluctantly, “I’m sorry, but I have to leave now, I.. hope you get him and that you can save the doctor. Call the hospital in a few minutes, and I’ll tell you what I can about Dimera. Good luck!”
The man reached out a hand for John to shake and said a simple, “Thank you.” Then as he watched John slowly walk toward the woman he obviously loved very much he said, “Hey, John… good luck to you both!”
Marlena smiled slightly and answered for the two of them, “Thank you!” and she gathered him up in her arms and guided him toward her car for the trip to Salem University Hospital.
John felt so safe in the comfort of her arms and the sheer will power he had relied upon to keep himself standing was no longer necessary. It was as if he knew what would happen next as he said with a slightly dazed expression and a somewhat absent tone, “I love you, Doc.” Then as the couple approached the rest of the group that had accompanied them to the scene, he seemed to waver, his eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed in the arms of the woman he had saved from the evil man once again. Mike rushed over to the couple and helped ease him to the ground.
As Mike began to examine John, he silently cursed the man whose clothes were now completely saturated with his own blood. “Marlena please call 911 and check on the ambulance while I try to stop this bleeding.” Mike spoke of his frustration as he worked to stem the flow. “Man, I told him this could happen! He’s the most stubborn….difficult patient I have ever had!”
Marlena was already in the process of calling when Mike made the request. When finished, she came back over and looked down at her love, then proceeded to admonish him, “Don’t you even think of leaving me! I am too damn mad at you to let you go, John Black!”
Somehow he heard her. ‘Uh oh…I’m in big trouble again, she used my last name…the last time she did that was when I was… confessing my love and she was really steamed.’
“John Black do you hear me? You…are in for some big trouble if you messed up our wedding day with this foolish stunt of yours!”
He tried to speak, but he couldn’t reach full consciousness and didn’t have the energy left to fight for it, so he succumbed to the darkness. His last conscious thought was ‘I sure hope they’ll let me marry her tomorrow or….she’s really gonna lay into me, big time!’
Marlena turned to Mike, concerned. “Well, Mike how is he?”
“I’m honestly not sure…he obviously lost a lot of blood. Beyond that, we’ll have to wait until we can clean him up and get a good look at the wound. Once we get him into the OR we’ll know more, I’m sorry.”
“Damm you, John!” She was not just angry now, she was afraid for him too and it came out in her voice. And then her veneer of control broke down and the tears started to flow as she looked at his ashen face and blood covered chest. The contrast was striking. Marlena noticed the beads of sweat forming on his brow and the fact that his skin was cold and clammy. “Oh, no John!” she cried out in fear.
Mike continued to assess his condition and he said at the same time she was drawing her conclusion, “He’s moving into deep shock! His body temperature is dropping, pressure’s way down, and his pulse is so weak I can hardly find it!. We need to keep him warm, get me some blankets…quickly! The young doctor looked around, “Where’s that ambulance…dammit! He’s lost so much blood!”
Marlena scrambled to find a blanket in her car. “Oh God…don’t let this happen, please keep him safe…let him stay with me!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three hours later, Marlena was pacing when Mike Horton approached, his expression telling her exactly what she wanted to know. Then he explained the details, to which she replied after breathing an immense sigh of relief. “Thank God, Mike I was really scared there for awhile… You’re sure he’s going to be alright?”
“Absolutely…..unless he pulls another lame stunt like he just did tonight!”
“No way! I’ll tie him to the bed if I have to…he’s not doing anything, absolutely nothing at all, until it is time to say I Do! And now that I know he’s going to be okay, I’m going to give that…crazy man of mine a piece of my mind about what he risked!”
Mike understood why she was angry, John had scared her very much and he had risked his life, his future with her and the children, out of his intense anger at Stefano and his desire to see that man be taken into custody. Still, the man had a right to feel something about seeing justice take hold for once. “Marlena, I know you’re angry at him and it was a really stupid thing to do, but try not to be too hard on him, okay? He did save you again and it’s somewhat understandable that he wanted to see Stefano get arrested… after everything that sick monster has done to hurt him and so many of the people he loves.”
“Mike, I…do understand, but he shouldn’t have risked so much for it. He could have died tonight and I need to tell him what I think of his choice!”
“Okay, but don’t you think he knows? He did make the decision to leave with you… when you confronted him, right?”
“Yes, but it was almost too late by that time. He is so…bull-headed and I swear if he ever does something so foolhardy again, I think I’ll…just kill him myself!”
Mike chuckled in spite of the tension in her voice. Then he relented, “Alright, talk to him but…be…careful, please. He’s…strong and he will recover, but any excessive stress could.. well, it could cause some problems for him.”
She nodded and said succinctly, “I’ll take that into consideration, Mike. Thank you for reminding me.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John was awake now and waiting for the wrath of the woman he loved to fall upon him. ‘I wonder how long she’ll give me before she comes in here and reads me the riot act,’ he thought. I would be willing to bet she’s out there blowing off a little steam with Mike and then she’ll come in here and lay into me…what can I do? Pretend to be sleeping or better yet, unconscious, John…yea that’s it! He heard her purposeful footsteps, almost marching down the hallway toward his room and he quickly shut his eyes and scooted himself down further in the bed, pulling the covers almost over his head, hoping she’d be convinced he was out cold.
Wishing he could see her face to read her mood, he resisted the impulse to peek out. He waited and it was silent. She was waiting too. Oh man…she’s doing the same thing, she’s gonna try to figure out if I’m really out or not. There they were, John lying in bed with the covers up and Marlena in a chair across from him, wondering what was next.
Suddenly, the covers were ripped from his grasp. His blue eyes flew open wide and she knew.. “So, you WERE faking being asleep, John.”
He grinned sheepishly and said, “No…I was just…sort of…half-asleep, Doc and I…didn’t really hear you come in,” he said hoping she wouldn’t be able to read him perfectly.
“John… you can’t lie to me…come on, you were lying in here thinking about what I was going to say to you, weren’t you?”
She saw the flicker of truth before he said, “No, I was….thinking about how much I love you and how I can’t wait to get married tomorrow… honest I was.” He could see she wasn’t buying his distraction techniques. “Alright, I knew you’d still be angry and that you would probably come in here and blast me for the…dumb decision I made tonight. Marlena, I know it was really stupid to risk my life just to see Dimera go down… okay.. please don’t lay into me now, all I want to do is love you, Doc.”
“That is all I want to do too, John but I want you to promise me you won’t risk your life like that again. I am not prepared to lose you, you crazy fool! Now, I have one last thing I have to do before I lock you in this room until an hour before the wedding.”
John sensed her meaning by the slightly seductive expression on her face.. “Oh, and what might that be, Marlena?” he asked.
“This…” she moved in suddenly and kissed him powerfully. He was strongly affected by it and responded in kind. “Oh, Doc.. I love you and I am sorry, please forgive me.”
Marlena was running her fingers through his hair and she replied, “Okay, I forgive you, John. Just don’t EVER do something like that again…you knucklehead!” Then she kissed him again….so tenderly that he swooned. “Oh, Doc! I promise….especially if you promise to keep kissing me like that for the rest of our lives.”
“I think you’ve got yourself a deal Mr. Black. Now, I think it’s time for me to leave so you can get some rest for our big day tomorrow.” She leaned in to give him a peck on the cheek and he surprised her by pulling her close using only his left arm. “Oh, John! I can see that some things just never do change and that is very comforting in times like these. Goodnight sweetheart.”
Then he flashed the grin that had captivated her and melted her heart from the very first time she saw it. “Yep, my desire for you will never change… I will love you, need you, and want you….every second of every day for the rest of my life and beyond, Doc! I’ll see you at the altar in…about 12 hours baby!”
She smiled warmly and said, “It’s a date. Now, listen to me, John…don’t do anything but lie here and rest until it’s time to get dressed, please! I don’t want you to pass out on me before the ring is on my finger and the Priest says I now pronounce you…”
“Scout’s honor… I promise you. I will sit tight right here in anticipation of seeing you looking even more incredibly beautiful to me than ever. Your beauty only increases with the passage of time, Marlena and your inner beauty outshines even that… I love you, lady.”
“Oh, John you’re going to make me blush… I love you too, so much….I don’t think I said thank you tonight, John. Thank you for saving me again. You truly are my hero…my knight in shining armor, and I’m sorry I didn’t say that before.”
“Wow, Doc you really feel that way about me?”
“Yes, John I do. You have always been so brave, protective and so strong for me and I should have said it earlier. You are wonderful to me and I can’t wait to walk down the aisle to you!”
He leered at her in a sweet way, and said with a wink, “And I can’t wait to carry you off into the sunset on my white horse….my fair maiden.”
Marlena leaned in for one more kiss, a soft, gentle kiss with a promise of a lifelong future of love and passion. This love was one written for fairytales for it had endured so much pain and separation. Evil kings and deceptive ladies in waiting, all the classic obstacles. And just like in those fairytales, the handsome brave hero ended up with the beautiful loving maiden, and he would go on to marry her and then they would live happily ever after.
Well…almost anyway…
For once the weather forecasters were correct. It was going to be a perfect day for a wedding, the sun shining high and bright in a crystal clear blue sky. It was as if it were ordained by God himself. Marlena awakened as the shimmering highlights flickered through the window panes of her bedroom. She had decided to go back to the new house after the whole incident occurred with Stefano. Staying with her were Laura, Lexie, and the children. Marlena allowed herself to lounge in bed for a little while longer and then she got up and walked over to gaze out the window toward the gazebo again. Oh John! I can hardly believe this day is actually here! It seems like a dream to me… but it’s real she told herself as she watched the movement down below. The chairs were being set up and the tent was also going up It’s really going to happen this time, John and I are going to get married today and NOTHING is going to stop us!
As she was sitting there thinking and anticipating walking down the aisle to a smiling handsome groom, the phone rang. “Hello, Marlena…did you sleep well?” the caller asked before she could utter a sound.
It was the voice that haunted her dreams for so long… “Stefano!”
Yes, did you think I had forgotten you? I will never forget you, my queen.. and one day I will come for you again.”
“Stefano, I WILL NEVER LOVE YOU, just accept that fact! I love John with all my heart. We’re going to be married today and there is nothing you can do to stop it!” She was angry now, not afraid, and so tired of his obsessive desire toward her. “Now, if you’ll excuse me I have preparations to make, GOODBYE, Stefano!” Marlena hung up forcefully and was quiet. Then, as an aftershock, she began to tremble. It felt as if she couldn’t stop “Ohhh.. John I need you!”
The phone rang again and she was afraid it was Stefano again so she didn’t say anything, letting the caller make himself known, “Hello…Doc…hey… Doc it’s John, honey are you there?”
“Oh, John!” She started to cry and couldn’t speak to him for a moment.
John was alarmed, “Honey…what’s wrong…. is it?” He didn’t want to even say the name.
“Yes, John he called here to remind me that he is never going to give up his obsession to have me. I was strong on the phone, but I don’t feel strong now, John! I wish you were here with me.”
“That’s it, I’m on my way!” He started to climb out of the bed and then realizing he couldn’t do as intended, added, “That is as soon as I can get Mike to give me my clothes back. He took everything out of my room last night. Whose idea was that, his or yours, Doc?” John asked it hoping to distract her from her fear for a second.
She wanted him with her, but she knew he needed to just rest if he was going to be even close to having the energy and strength to stand for the ceremony, so she turned him down. “No, John, you need to stay put like I said last night; it’s just that I wish this whole nightmare were completely over and that Stefano and Kristen were out of our lives forever.”
“I know, Marlena.. at least he’s been… caught. He’s under a fortress of guards here at the hospital and soon he’ll be transferred to the jail infirmary for safe keeping. I promise you we will make sure he doesn’t get away this time! And about Kristen, Abe thinks there are some promising leads about where this….” He stopped short, thinking of her attempt to take him there by gunpoint, “..new house she bought for…well anyway, they think they might know where it is and if they find it, they’ll be taking her in. That only leaves Peter.. so we’re doing pretty well at eliminating the Dimera threat altogether.”
“I hope you’re right about all of that, John. I don’t know how much more of all of this I can take. Do you…oh never mind, it’s probably fine. Listen, honey I mean it, you need to rest, your body has been through a lot, and I don’t want you to leave there until it’s time to come here to the house so you can get ready.” There was silence and she wondered what he was thinking and doing…”John?”
“Yea… I’m here… I just don’t want you to be scared. I want to hold you, Doc and make you feel safe. It’s so frustrating not being able to do that, but I don’t want to do anything more to spoil the wedding, so I’ll do what you said and stay put. I want you to know it’s killing me, but I’ll do it…for you.”
He had a way of making her smile no matter the circumstances. “Thank you, John. I appreciate your wanting to be here and I wish you could be, but we were planning not to see each other until the ceremony anyway. I love you so much and I can hardly wait until this afternoon!”
“Me too, Marlena. To tell you the truth, I’m having a little trouble believing it’s really going to happen. It seems like a dream and I keep thinking someone is going to come along and wake me up…telling me that’s all it ever was. Thank God that won’t happen. I am so thankful that you love me and that he helped us heal from all the pain.”
“You know what, I was sitting here looking out at the gazebo thinking the same thoughts and then I saw the workmen setting up chairs and then the tents started to go up too. It’s not a dream! We are getting married in about six hours!”
“Wow! Oh, man I can’t wait! I’m so excited that I’ll be able to call you my wife and Mrs. Black and kiss the bride….all of it!”
It suddenly dawned on her how soon it was going to happen, “Oh my gosh, did I say six hours…. I just thought of everything I have to do…John, I have to go start getting ready… My hair…the makeup.. oh my goodness. Well, goodbye, honey. I love you!”
John started to laugh at her nervous excitement and said, “Honey, relax…even if you showed up in an old pair of sweatpants and didn’t do your hair or a wear a stitch of makeup you would still be the most beautiful woman there. Just remember that’s how I feel and you’ll be just fine.”
He touched her so. “Oh, honey…how do you know just what to say to me to make me feel so loved, so special? I will remember and I’ll make myself as pretty for you as I can, just to please you, my love.”
“I’m sweating and breathing hard just thinking about it, Doc. I love you so much!” As he hung up, he envisioned the two of them standing there holding hands and taking the vows, and he lost himself in it for a minute. Then he heard a familiar voice, as he answered the phone again, “Hey, I thought you were anxious to get ready for the wedding.”
“How sweet, John you thought of me today….are you ready to marry me again, John?”
“Kristen! I don’t want to talk to you… I don’t want to waste another second of my life thinking of you, you sick…Bitch!” He slammed down the phone with vigor. “Damm them! I’m going to make sure they are out of our lives forever!” John started to get out of the bed again and then he remembered that he didn’t have any clothes and he thought of his promise to Marlena. No, I’ve disappointed her one too many times, I am going to do what she asked of me. He laid back on the bed and started to formulate some kind of plan to stop the evil schemers from interfering with their lives anymore.
Kristen was seething with anger, “How dare he call me a bitch! He is going to be very sorry for treating me this way. He will be mine or nobody will have him, especially not that witch Marlena! I WILL find a way to stop this wedding!” Since her father was out of the picture she had turned to his people for help. They had almost been successful in taking John yesterday…but hadn’t been able to try again at the Pub as originally planned because of his head injury. So, she had to do something before he arrived at his new house, the security there was truly impenetrable. Stefano was under arrest now and injured as well, so he would be of no help whatsoever. No, Kristen you’re on your own with this, she thought. After contemplating her next move, she got up off the couch at her new home and went to carry out her plans.
Meanwhile, John was working hard to concentrate on not thinking of Stefano and Kristen, but wasn’t doing a very good job. He was still concerned they would try to stop the wedding, but what could he do about it from the hospital bed? He reached over to pick the phone up again and was about to dial Abe’s room number when it rang. “Hello, John…”
“Stefano…what the hell do you want? How did you manage to get a hold of a phone anyway? No, don’t answer that, I don’t care…” For some reason he couldn’t just hang up on the bastard, Why is that?he asked himself mentally.
“A fine greeting to make on what is supposed to be the happiest day of your life, my…pawn.”
“Knock it off, Dimera. I’m not your pawn any more, you have no control over me, none at all and you never will again!”
“Don’t I? I almost caused you to lose Marlena’s love last night. You wanted to stay didn’t you, to stay and watch them take me…didn’t you?”
Woah, he knows me so well. “I…left with her…. I knew the police could handle it and I left with her.” The man didn’t need to know about the confrontation.
Stefano laughed harshly, “You’re a horrible liar, John. You and Marlena argued about it didn’t you, she told you if you didn’t go with her, it was over between you.”
How can he know that? “No…it was fine.. we left, that’s all that happened Stefano.” Why do I bother defending myself to this monster?
“No, John. I know what really happened because I know everything about you and the way you think… how deep your hatred runs….and your fear for Marlena. You were so tempted to stay that it took her threatening to end the relationship to get you to leave with her. Shaky ground to be on going into a marriage, I’d say. Maybe, your love isn’t as strong and solid as you always like to say it is, John.”
He wanted to just tell the man to shut up or hang up, but that comment touched a kernel of insecurity and the madman sensed it even as John replied vehemently, “No, that’s not true! We love each other and our love is solid as a rock, We have a deep and indestructible bond, Stefano and there is nothing you can ever do to break it!”
“We’ll see about that, maybe I don’t need to do anything, John. Maybe, you’ll break it yourself someday…some old issues may come back to haunt you, old rivals…who knows? Goodbye, my pawn..ha ha!”
“Dammit, why do I talk to him? Why does he still have such a….hold on me?” The man’s voice was there in his mind to answer his question. Because you are still my pawn, you do my bidding even when you are unaware. That is your fate, John.“NO! that’s not true! I’m not your pawn any more, and not EVER again!”
His body was filled with the old anger, and he labored to force it down where it belonged as someone came into his room. Shock registered in his face….
“Dammit Kristen… I told you I want nothing more to do with you, now how did you get here so fast and how in the hell did you get in my room? There were supposed to be some guards out there!” John looked around her to see if he could peer out the window in the door, but couldn’t see anything. John felt completely at a disadvantage because his right arm was immobilized, and he was suddenly feeling very groggy from the medication, He was wearing just a hospital gown and boxer shorts, which made him feel somehow more vulnerable. However, he wouldn’t let any of that stop him. He would do whatever he needed to do in the situation. “Get the hell out of my room, Kristen, now!” Because he was a little foggy, he didn’t think to use the call button.
“John, after everything we have been through together, how can you speak to me that way? I did it all for love sweetheart. All I want to do is help you remember how good we were together… baby.” She moved in closer to the bed and began to touch him on the face.
Repulsed by her, he turned his face away from her and said, “Don’t touch me.. you make me sick!” She had done it on purpose and then she made another move, a swift one for which he was unprepared; she had a needle in her hand. He saw the movement in his peripheral vision, “No, Kristen!” he yelled, but before he could make a move to stop her, she put it into the IV tube and he began to drift off somewhere almost immediately. “No, Kristen, please don’t do this…I don’t love you anymore and I never will..please… Oh, God…what did you put in there?” John’s body shook noticeably from the effect of the chemical as it flowed through his bloodstream. He fought for awareness, but felt himself slipping away somewhere, and he didn’t know if he would be able to come back. ‘God, please help me!’ he prayed silently as his mind started to go blank. A few moments later, he was lying still on the bed, unable to fully comprehend what was happening to him.
“Don’t worry, baby it’s just a little something for me to use to help you remember how much you used to love me, honey…it won’t hurt you, John.” She didn’t really know that, but she hoped it was true. She had no way of knowing what kind of drugs he was already on. Kristen looked down at him and his eyes were now glossed over. He was ready.
Kristen sat down next to the bed and began speaking to him, “John…I’m going to take you on a little trip down memory lane. Remember, John… remember Kristen, the woman you saved from some thugs in the park, the woman you fell in love with and made hot fiery love to on Smith Island…remember John…”
His mind was spinning out of control….he fought her suggestions, but it was almost impossible. The drugs stole his will from him. “No, Marlena ….love Marlena..only her…not…Kristen…she’s evil…”
“No, John you love Kristen…she is the one who was there when the other one rejected you, she left you standing alone, John but I was there for you. Marlena said she loved him more than you and she always will, John. Maybe Roman is still alive and he’ll come back to take her away. She’ll leave you again, John and you’ll be all alone!”
John struggled to put rational thoughts together and argue, “No! She loves me, she always did love me. She won’t leave me even if he is alive, she told me that.”
Kristen spoke forcefully, to convince, “She’s gone, John she left you alone again.. but I’m here for you baby!”
The fear took hold, the drug made it seem real, “No, Marlena…don’t leave me…I love you, I need you, No please don’t go!” He reached his hands out for her.
Kristen held him and spoke softly, “It’s okay, John..calm down honey… Kristen’s here and she loves you…I’ll never leave you…don’t worry, just love Kristen, she won’t ever leave you, John. Kristen….remember, John..she loves you, she would do anything for you…she married you…” Kristen could see he was beginning to give in to the influence of the drug and her suggestions, to the fears and his need for security. “Say you love Kristen, only Kristen.”
John’s mind kept fighting, but he was losing . ’So powerful can’t fight it..no…have to fight it Doc!… I need you!… DOC!’ He couldn’t say it out loud for some reason he didn’t understand, but his spirit broadcast his great need for her help. His drugged mind responded verbally to Kristen’s demands. “Kristen… I….. love… Kristen… she married me…baby.. love the baby.”
“Yes that’s it, John…listen to me, I have the baby back we can be together again…you and me and the baby and nobody will break us up again. We can have our family like we dreamed about, John! You’ve always wanted a real family to call your own, haven’t you, John?”
“Family….yes….I want a family more than anything…..don’t have my own, can’t remember…parents… missed out.” He was drifting away, to the past. ‘So confusing… where am I?’ He managed one more to call out to his love, “Marlena, please help me!”
“Shh, no…it’s Kristen, you want and need Kristen and John, Jr. Say it, John, you want to be with Kristen and your son again. Kristen is the one who really loves you, John.”
“Yes….she loves me…do anything for me… John, Jr…so sweet… she loves him too…she loved me, I know she did..” His mind was valiantly trying to make sense out of all the muddled thoughts and her suggestions were overpowering because of the drug in his system.
Kristen could see she was having a strong influence, and he was open to her now, so she began to kiss him…speaking of her love in his ears. “John, I love you and I need you so much…baby…kiss me….love me, John make love to me…now!” she demanded.
His body responded and he began to kiss her more deeply. His spirit screamed for help, ‘NO! Doc, help me! I can’t fight it! Doc!’ Kristen started to touch him under the gown, then she removed it and moved her hands lower as she continued to speak to him, “You love me, John and you want to make love, don’t you…we make such good love, John so…hot!” John tried to resist, but the drug was in full effect and her words were impossible to ignore. He began to give in to her touch. He kissed her fiercely and said, ”Yes, I want you…ohh..” Then he had a last burst of will power and tried to throw her off of him using his left arm, and he yelled, “NO!!! Stop! Please, Stop!” The drugs in his system kept him from being strong enough to successfully put an end to her actions.
Kristen was relentless and took his mouth again and put her hands down into his shorts in a more aggressive move to arouse him. His resistance was faltering as she spoke to him commandingly now. “John….you must love me…there is no one else.. you crave my touch, John….give in…let me love you now…” John’s will to resist was gone, and he surrendered to her kisses and the movements of her hands. Kristen knew that she would soon have him and she smiled a sickening possessive smile of ownership, and said, “He’s mine now, DOC!”
By this time, Mike was finished with rounds and was going to make an unscheduled visit for which Kristen was not prepared and Abe was wheeling his way down the hall as well, to check on his buddy. They heard his terrified scream as they approached the door to his room. Immediately, they saw Kristen forcing herself on him. John seemed unable to fight her, so they burst in the room and pulled her away from him.
Holding her tight with one hand, Abe said to her, “Kristen, you are under arrest for attempted kidnapping and attempted….rape!” He was disgusted with her as he looked over at John; the gown was all the way off his body and his shorts were halfway down his legs as Mike began to examine him. “You are so…evil! You will go to jail for so long, Kristen and you will be all alone.. you…. miserable excuse for a human being!” Abe called on his cell phone for security and for the police as well.
Within seconds two burly security guards arrived to take her away screaming, “All I did was remind him of our love… I love you, John! I love you!”
As Mike examined John, Abe asked, “Did she drug him?”
“It certainly looks that way, look at his eyes, Abe..” John was lying very still now, appearing quite dazed, his eyes glossed over completely. He seemed unaware of their presence…as if he was waiting for someone to command him to do something. “My guess is that it’s something like Stefano used.”
“Damm her! Is he going to be okay?” asked Abe with worry.
“Well, we have to figure out exactly what it was and then learn whether we can counteract it, or if we need to just let it wear off and hope it’s in time for the wedding. And that’s not saying anything about the emotional impact of what she did to him,” Mike offered sadly.
“The wedding… Oh, Mike, do you think we should tell Marlena right away… or should we wait?”
John responded to her name and since Kristen was gone, his mind could focus on the woman he really loved. He called out anxiously, “Marlena…where’s Marlena? I need her! I have to explain…. didn’t mean to…couldn’t fight it…drugs, she used…drugs… Ohh, I betrayed Marlena. Oh, no!” He was in anguish and so confused about exactly what had happened and where Marlena was.
It was horrible to see him like this and Abe tried to reassure him, “John, it’s okay…we know what happened, Marlena will understand…don’t worry…just try to relax..all right?”
Shaking his head vehemently, he argued, “No…have to see Doc…please, tell her it wasn’t my fault..can’t lose her, I can’t lose her…oh, no.. she’s going to leave me! Please find her, somebody please find her!” John was distraught and would not be easily placated.
Mike turned away from his patient and said, “Abe, could you call her? I don’t think he can handle not being able to see her right now. He’s still under the influence of the drug, and Kristen probably planted some fears about Marlena leaving him.”
“Sure, Mike. I’ll just go out to the nurses’s station.”
Abe wheeled himself out and then decided to go into the lounge to make the call, in private. Marlena was at the house with the ladies, having a wonderful time, and yet she sensed something wasn’t quite right.
“Hello, wedding preparation central,” Lexie answered happily.
“Hi, honey…could you put Marlena on, there’s a.. problem with… John.”
She kept her voice low….”Oh, no, Abe, did his condition worsen?”
“No, Lexie, it’s….Kristen.. she… got into his room somehow and.. she drugged him and then…. tried to…force him to have sex with her. He’s still under the influence of the drug and he’s so confused, he thinks he betrayed Marlena with Kristen. He’s very upset and wants to see her.”
“Oh, Abe! That is so…disgusting! I can’t believe how sick she is!” Lexie let her emotions get the best of her for the moment and the other ladies heard her reaction and they looked over.
Marlena could tell by the look on Lexie’s face that it was Kristen she had been referring to and she asked fearfully, “Lexie, what did Kristen do? Is John all right?”
“Oh, Marlena…it’s Abe on the phone.. She…drugged John and tried to force herself on him. He’s very upset.. he thinks he betrayed you by being with her… he’s anxious and asking to see you.”
Marlena couldn’t control her emotions this time, it was all getting to be just a little too much and she broke down in tears. “Oh, my God…when will this madness end?”
Lexie got back on the line and Abe said, “Lexie, if it helps, she has been arrested and both her and Stefano are in jail now. Stefano is going to be transferred to the jail infirmary in just a little while and Kristen is already on her way right now. The wedding can go off without a hitch now, tell her that Lexie.”
“Okay, goodbye honey.. give John our love and we’ll be over there soon.” Lexie hung up the phone and said, “Marlena, Abe wanted me to tell you that Kristen and Stefano are both on their way to jail right now and they won’t be able to do anything more to interfere with the wedding.”
Marlena had calmed down a little bit, but was still visibly shaken. “That is all well and good, but what if she confused him so much that we can’t be married? Those drugs Stefano used are strong and long-lasting. He might not be able to…recover in time….. and if we don’t get married today… oh, I just can’t take any more of this!” She broke into a fresh round of tears about all of it and Laura came over and hugged her tightly.
Maggie took charge of decision-making, “Let’s get going, Marlena, we will take care of everything here and you and Lexie go to see John. When you get back, we’ll help you get ready for the wedding and nobody who loves the two of you will mind if there is a delay in the starting time, so don’t worry, okay?”
She sighed and said more calmly, “Okay.. that sounds good, thank you for helping me. Carrie, Sami did you want to go with me to see, John?”
They were silent, shocked at just how evil Kristen had become. Sami, remembered that she had drugged Austin to sleep with her. It was a painful reminder of the person she was before she changed. She said, “It’s all so…sickening isn’t it? I hope he’s okay, but I’m not sure I can handle seeing him. Is it all right if I just stay here with the others?”
Marlena took her daughter by the hand and spoke softly, “Yes, Sami, I understand…. we’ll see you later.”
Carrie approached Marlena and said, “I want to see him.. to let him know we understand that he didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yes, that would help a lot.. let’s go then.” She looked back at the remains of the breakfast and hoped it had not all been in vain. Then she said to herself, “No, stop that Marlena, we *will* be married. Nothing is going to stop us, I won’t let them win!!”
The sun was still shining bright and high in the sky overhead, making soft glimmering highlights on the surface of the lake. Birds were chirping a sweet melody from the surrounding trees as if to serenade the arriving guests and there was a gentle summer breeze to cool and delight. A sparkling white-gazebo sat out on a peninsula into the lake; this was where the ceremony itself was to take place and there was a natural pathway leading out to it which would be traveled by the wedding party. Chairs were set up in a semicircular fashion in the large open area adjacent to it and the spot was shaded by the towering trees which provided a natural shelter from the bright sun.
John, who had done exactly as he was asked to do by Marlena, had just arrived and dressed for the wedding within the hour.
Kristen had made one last attempt to take John and was arrested by Abe and two uniformed policemen. There was a transmitter planted in the hospital room, unbeknownst to John, and Abe surprised both John and Kristen when he came wheeling into the room. The incident took place shortly after Stefano called to taunt his nemesis, hoping to stir up old insecurities just before the wedding. Apparently, the man thought that if he couldn’t stop the wedding itself, at least he could taint it for his enemy, but both Dimera plans failed. After Kristen was taken away, Lexie arrived and drove the two men to the house together.
John now sat on a bench quietly watching the workmen handle the finishing touches such as securing the tents and making sure the aisles were perfectly straight. As he sat and looked around at the preparations, John was struggling to put the old man’s comments away and dismiss the incident with Kristen so that he could enjoy what was supposed to be the best day of his life. It sure didn’t start off that way for me, he thought. Well, at least Doc doesn’t know about any of this, no sense upsetting her.
He redirected his focus and noticed that the caterer’s were getting the heating elements ready and hooking up the drink dispensers, the bartenders were setting up shop, the florists were putting flower arrangements on every table. Actually, there were fresh flowers on every exposed surface, hanging baskets in the tents, lots of lilacs and lillies everywhere. ‘Doc loves em,’ he thought. The string quartet was already beginning to play the soft romantic melodies Marlena loved and the mood they were setting was perfect or it would be when the flurry of last minute activity ended.
All was going as planned and it brought a smile to his face as he thought of his bride. She’ll be happy today, he thought. John was suddenly inspired to pray as he looked toward the altar that had been constructed, “God, that is all I want in this life is to make her happy, please help me to do that. And, please let this day bring her joy, let her laugh and smile. Oh, how I long for that smile right now, and for her arms around me. God, you know how much I love her, thank you for allowing us to work through the pain and finally reach this day.” As he finished the prayer there were joyful tears in his eyes and he felt the deep longing and aching sensation from being apart, but knew he could bear it, because within the hour he would be holding her as his wife.
Then the worries for her safety returned without warning. Wishing his head and shoulder didn’t hurt so much and that his right arm wasn’t immobilized, he arose, to do one last check on security. Even though Stefano and Kristen, and even Peter, were in jail now, he just had to do that one last sweep of the grounds, check all the entrances, and do a final test of the alarm system. Abe, who was sitting nearby in a wheelchair because of his injury, saw the tension in his friend’s face. He wheeled slowly over and touched John’s arm as the man stood up and said, “Hey, buddy… come on now, you know the security here is impenetrable and both Stefano and Kristen are locked up tighter than Fort Knox.. relax….it’s going to be fine.”
John sighed with weariness as he surveyed the area, he was so tired of it all. “Yea, but Abe they have always managed to ruin our happiness somehow. At every turn it was a Dimera and I just can’t let it go completely. I guess I’m a little…worried, you know…with my arm in this sling,” he said referring to his state of incapacitation if something were to happen. “You’re right though, I need to shake this off and enjoy the day.” John did shake his head as if to clear it of the negative thoughts that had plagued him, but after what had taken place in the past 48 hours who could blame him.
Abe could tell John’s mind was still not completely free of all the stress, so he purposely asked the groom a question to redirect his attention. Gesturing to the whirlwind of activity around them he asked, “So, buddy, can you believe that this day has actually arrived? Remember all those times we talked about how you still loved Marlena, and you kept telling me that you thought she would never return those feelings?”
John was thoughtful for a second and then he said, “Yep I do. You know, I really believed she could never forgive me for hurting her. I thought she could never feel the same way about me as I did about her. And I don’t mind telling you I have never been happier to be wrong about something in my whole life, Abe.”
He stopped and paused to look out at the gazebo where they would exchange rings and vows in a short while, his mind reviewing the events leading up to this special day. Turning back to his friend, he said seriously, “I know I thanked you at the time, and a lot has happened since then, but… in so many ways, I owe this moment to you, partner. You had the guts to confront me and be tough on me, to force my hand about my feelings for Doc. I don’t even want to think about how things would have turned out if you hadn’t done that. You made me see how wrong I was to choose a life with my second choice.” John frowned and continued, “..which turned out to be the worst decision I could ever have made. And, you made me realize that if I didn’t take the risk of telling Marlena about my love for her, I would regret it for the rest of my life. Thank you for caring enough to risk our friendship.”
As Abe Carver stood there listening to his friend talk, he too felt the depth of the friendship, and responded warmly, “You are welcome my friend. I wanted so much for you to be truly happy, John and no matter how hard you tried to convince me, and even more importantly yourself, that you were happy with Kristen, I knew you weren’t…not the way you are with Marlena.” Abe smiled when he thought of it. “You probably don’t realize it, but everybody else does. John your eyes light up when you see each other, your face has this…lovesick grin, and your whole demeanor changes. There is a joy and a sense of peace I see in you that hasn’t been there since you were married to her the last time.”
John smiled lightly and he nodded as he said quietly, “I do know it, Abe.” His emotions were right there on the surface, tears welled up and he expressed the depth of his love for his bride to his close friend, “Marlena fills me up, she completes me, there is no one and nothing on this earth that makes me feel so… alive so.. good! She makes me believe I can do anything and I can’t be with her enough. I ACHE when we’re apart, my heart pounds whenever I see her! When she cries, I feel her pain, when she’s in danger I want to slay dragons.. She’s everything to me!” John stopped, realizing he was rambling and he glanced away nervously, “I’m sorry, Abe I uh…. get carried away sometimes.”
Abe grinned and put his hand on his buddy’s back as he said, “No don’t be, John, this is how a wedding day should be spent, thinking of all the reasons you love someone, all the ways you feel about them. I knew that was how you felt about her all along and I’m so glad you can finally share that love with her openly and honestly, the way you always should have been able to do.”
“I am.. overjoyed to have that chance!” he said excitedly and then John’s expression changed and he appeared nervous, “Now if I can just remember the vows I wrote and say them to her without stammering all over myself.”
“Oh come on, John, don’t worry about it. Just remember you are among the people who love you the most in this world and we are all happy to share in the joy of this day and you’ll do fine with it.”
Looking up toward the master suite where the bride was getting ready, John replied, “You’re probably right, I just want this day to be perfect for Marlena. She deserves only happiness for the rest of her life and I am going to do everything in my power to give it to her.”
Bo Brady suddenly came up behind them, put his arms on both men and said, “Hey Abe, John…” Then with a teasing grin and tone in his voice he asked, “So, big brother, you nervous?”
“Nope, can’t wait!” John answers confidently.
“Yea… you mean you can’t wait to finish the wedding so you can run out on this party and get your bride all alone, am I right?”
“Since when did you become a mind-reader, little brother? he asked grinning. “Yea, so when you marry Hope next month, you’re going to be wanting to do the same thing aren’t you?”
Bo hesitated for a second and then admitted, “Well, yea maybe, but we’re talking about you John. So where are you taking her on the honeymoon, any hints you can give us..”
He was incredulous at the question, “No way am I gonna tell you, Bo. I don’t trust you and the Brady’s or this guy for that matter, with that kind of information.. Nobody is gonna know where we’re going!”
“And this from the guy who was just telling me what a great friend I am,” said Abe in mock offense. The three men chuckled and then dispersed, checking out the grounds one last time, just in case.
Soon the wedding would begin, friends and family were admiring the setting for the ceremony and the grounds of the house John had designed. He had chosen well they all said, it was so peaceful and serene, the perfect setting for a Victorian style wedding and a wonderful place for a family to begin their new life together.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marlena was in the master suite putting on the finishing touches with her friends and daughters helping out. She was wearing a cream colored satin gown, Victorian style with high neck, buttons up the back and down the sleeves which came to a point at the wrist. The lace around the neck and dress front was simple but elegant, no sequins of any kind. The waist was tapered in a way that flattered her curves very nicely. There was a large bow in back with a long flowing train. She had a simple but elegant hat which matched the dress perfectly and a had a short veil in front. Her hair was partly up with soft strands framing her face, her makeup in soft hues meant to flatter her perfect complexion. She was simply stunning and it was a sure bet she would take her groom’s breath away at his first glimpse of her.
Laura, Lexie, Carrie, Sami and Maggie were there and they were all giving their last minute best wishes. Carrie started it off, “Oh, Marlena you look so…beautiful and so..happy. After everything you two have been through to get to this moment, it is wonderful to see you smiling with joy.” Carrie had a few tears in her eyes as she spoke and Marlena gave her a soft hug.
“Carrie, thank you so much, I am happy, this is the best day of my life. I get to go out there and finally marry the man I have loved forever. I can hardly wait for the ceremony to start!”
Next it was Sami who was slightly hesitant. There were still some old feelings about her father, but she had mostly moved past that since his death and the night at the Pub when Carrie confronted her about her behavior. “Mom.. I know that I was.. cruel to you and John for a long time, and I’m so sorry, but my feelings have changed. I know that he makes you happy, your eyes sparkle with love when his name is even mentioned and your face just lights up when he walks into a room. And he is so in love with you, it’s written all over his face. I am really glad you’re finally going to be together.”
Marlena’s tears began to flow at those comments, “Oh Sami! I love you so much and I am so grateful that you have become the sweet loving girl I knew and that we can be close again. Thank you for supporting me in this, it means everything to me.”
“Oh now, we said we weren’t going to make her cry,” said Laura.
Lexie had to pipe up, “Marlena, I have to say that I am so thrilled for you. Abe and I used to talk once in awhile and we both knew you and John still loved each other, but we didn’t want to.. violate a confidence. I was so tempted sometimes to tell Abe what you said about John and ask him what John said about you, but I didn’t. Now, I wish I had because maybe this wedding would have happened a long time ago.”
“Lexie.. I think about it sometimes too…if only John and I had just forgiven ourselves for the affair and allowed ourselves to take the risk and admit our feelings, we wouldn’t have had to go through all this pain.” Then Marlena changed her train of thought and said, “but this is not the time to talk about that, it is time to celebrate our love with all the people we love and I’m so glad to share it with all of you. And, I’m glad Abe is alright and that he could still be in the wedding. For that matter, I’m glad the groom could make it, he gave me a real scare.”
“Lexie’s face bore a strange expression, a cross between a smile and a frown, “They sure do know how to… make us appreciate them, don’t they? I was worried about both of them too.”
Laura waited for a moment, giving Marlena a chance to clear her mind of those worries and it was the bride who turned to Laura. Marlena said as she looked at the two of them in the mirror, “And you… my friend, you had so much to do with this day. You were there for me when I was at my lowest point, when I wanted to just give up on the dream of John and I being together. Thank you so much for standing by me, for risking so much for me and encouraging me. Even though I left here to try and let go there was a small part of me that wanted to believe this day would come.” Joyful tears returned, “Oh, and now it’s here!”
“Yes it is and all the thanks I need is to look at you today with the love shining from your pretty eyes, my friend.” Laura and Marlena hugged firmly and felt the strength of the friendship ties they had forged over the past year or so.
Then Marlena walked over to the window and smiled widely as she glanced at the action down below and said, “This is going to be the most wonderful day I could ever imagine, it’s like a dream come true!”
“Okay, now it’s time for the tradition. I have the something old,” said Maggie. “These are for you from Alice.” She handed a small box to Marlena, who was overcome with emotion again. It was such a watershed kind of occasion.
“Oh, Maggie.. these are beautiful,” she said as she stared at an antique set of pearl earrings perfectly matched to the dress.
There was a knock on the door and then that voice that captivated her completely…”Doc, I have something for you.”
“Oh, John what more could you possibly give me? Now, you know you can’t come in here, so don’t even try, you’ll have to wait a few more minutes.”
“Yep, I know that, I just had to tell you how much I love you, how much I missed you last night and take part in the tradition, you know…something new.” The way he said it was meant to peak her curiosity. “But, if you don’t want to see what it is, then I’ll just go now…”
“Don’t you dare go anywhere! I’ll simply have Carrie come out and get it, thank you very much.”
John was chuckling. “I thought you might be interested Doc.” Carrie opened the door a crack and he handed her a velvet jewelry box and said, “I’ll be down at the altar waiting in great anticipation…see you soon, Marlena.”
“No, wait until I open this, please.” She hurried to see what was inside and she gasped when she saw that it was a large strand of pearls, a set that complimented the one he gave her the night they went to the Penthouse Grill with Abe and Lexie. It was also a perfect compliment to the wedding dress and the earrings too. She was amazed at his planning and thoughtfulness. “Oh, honey they’re beautiful, you are so wonderful to me, thank you.”
“You are welcome, pretty lady. I sure wish I could kiss you and see the smile on your face, but I can imagine it because your smile is always with me, Marlena. Wherever I am… there you are in my heart, mind and soul. I love you!”
“Ohh, and I do love you so… see you in just a little while.” She smiled and held the box to her heart, thinking of his love and imagining his arms around her.
“Now for the something borrowed…” said Laura, trying to snap Marlena out of her daydream. “Marlena…come back to us..” Laura said teasingly.
“Oh.. I’m sorry I was just….”
“Thinking of the honeymoon I bet,” said Lexie with a sly smile on her face.
Marlena blushed slightly and said, “Well…yes I was.. I guess. I was thinking of how safe and warm it feels to have his arms around me and the next time it happens we will be married.” She felt shivers run through her body in anticipation of the moment they became husband and wife again, “Oh…this is so…incredible!”
“We’re running out of time here,” said Maggie looking at her watch. “Laura, do you have the something borrowed?”
“Yes, I do.” She handed Marlena a hand made item. “I made this when I was at The Meadows and actually it is not to be returned. I’ve kept it, not knowing what to do with it and then decided it was perfect for you when I found out you were finally going to marry John.” It was a small off-white hand-knit hankie and she had embroidered it with John and Marlena’s names and the date of the wedding in Marlena’s wedding colors.
“Oh, Laura it’s so precious, thank you so much.” Those tears just wouldn’t go away.
“Alright, now for the something blue.” said Sami. “This is going to seem a little strange, but I’ll explain it for you.” She handed Marlena a small package and when Marlena opened it she was surprised to find a picture of John and herself inside it. His eyes were shining with love, it was taken right after she had accepted his marriage proposal. Marlena remembered that he was deliriously happy that day. “Oh, Sami..”
“Mom, the reason I gave that to you is….” She started to break down in tears this time, “I can see your love for each other in his sparkling blue eyes. He loves you with everything he is and your eyes shine just like his, so I know this wedding and your love are meant to be. When I look at this picture and see his blue eyes shining with his love for you, I am reminded of how right and true your love is, so.. that’s your something blue.”
“Oh, Sami, this means so much to me, thank you.” She pulled her daughter close and they cried together for a moment.
Then there was a knock at the door. “It’s time ladies.” It was the voice of Caroline Brady..
“Oh, Caroline please come in a minute won’t you?”
Caroline entered and was amazed at Marlena’s beauty. “Oh, Marlena you look spectacular! I am so happy for you and John, that you are finally going to have a chance at the happiness you so richly deserve after everything you’ve been through.” Caroline hugged the woman she loved as if she were her own daughter.
“Thank you Caroline.. it means a lot to have your blessing and to have you here to share this day with us.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for anything, dear. Now, we better get going before John jumps out of his skin. He’s getting really anxious down there you know. He loves you so much!”
“Yes, let’s get going!” said Marlena enthusiastically. “I can hardly wait to say I do. Oh boy!!”
Meanwhile down below…. John was fidgeting and tugging nervously at his bow tie and Abe was sitting next to him in a wheelchair. Bo was standing nearby. “So, you nervous buddy? You’ve straightened that tie about fifty times now.”
“Nope, just ready to get the show on the road. It feels like I’ve been waiting forever for this day and now it’s here, can’t wait to say I do!”
“Just a little while longer, buddy.”
He was suddenly nervous again. “Abe you got the rings? Oh, yea, I asked you that already.” he said smiling. “I guess maybe I am a little nervous, but not about actually being married, just about the ceremony. I want everything to be perfect for Marlena.”
“Yea, you know you’ve asked me that about five times since we got here. Just relax, John. The security is airtight, Stefano and Kristen are behind bars and you are about to marry the woman of your dreams. Take it easy, everything will be fine.”
Bo was laughing at John’s nervousness, but he decided to add his more serious two cents. “John, we haven’t had much time to talk recently with everything that has happened to both of us, but I want you to know.. how happy I am for you. I know that you love Marlena as much as I love Hope and I wish you all the best. Thank you for having me in your wedding, big brother.” He patted John on the back as he finished the sentence.
John repeated the gesture and said, “Thanks Bo, I’m glad you feel that way and I’m happy you and Hope finally have things back on track too. I know what a tough time you were having without her. And, I’m very glad to have you in my wedding.”
Within moments the other two men in tuxedos came walking over, Mike and Austin. They both looked just as uncomfortable as the other three were with the attire and upon noticing it, Mike commented, “So, I guess you guys are just as thrilled about wearing these monkey suits as we are.”
John answered, “Who me? uncomfortable in a tuxedo….nah.” They stared at him in disbelief and he admitted, “Well, okay a little I guess, but don’t tell Marlena, I think I’ve almost got her convinced I actually like these things.”
They laughed and then the music started. The guys scrambled to their places as the procession was about to begin, leaving John standing at the altar waiting. Waiting for the woman of his dreams to appear like a vision from around the gentle curving slope of the hill near the house.
Belle is waiting anxiously, fidgeting, but looking so precious in her little pink dress with lace and ruffles, a matching hat on her head. There is a slight delay and John approaches her, bends down on one knee and speaks to her softly, “Hey, Sweety girl are you ready for your big job?”
“Yes, Daddy. I can do it, see!” She takes a few of the rose petals and sprinkles them lightly on the ground nearby and her face bears a proud grin.
John’s heart is filled with love as he looks at her, noticing just how beautiful she is becoming. He pulls her gently to him, caressing her soft hair as he says, “Oh, Belle baby that was just perfect.” Daddy is so proud of you and you look so pretty today, so much like your Mommy.” His little girl smiles at his compliment and once again he is amazed at how much she resembles her mother. Then he says simply, “I have to go back and stand up front to wait for Mommy now, but I’ll see you real soon, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy.”
As John is about to rise, Brady comes running up with the pillow and says, “Daddy, watch me too! I can carry the pillow real straight, I’ve been practicing real hard, see!” The boy holds the pillow straight out in front of himself and concentrates so hard he grimaces and it makes John smile.
“Brady, you did a wonderful job, that practice has really helped.”
“Yep, just like with baseball, huh Daddy?”
Several of the guests chuckle at that and John smiles warmly as he answers, “Right, slugger, that’s exactly right, practice always helps you do things better.” Touching his son lightly on the shoulder, he finishes, “You look so handsome and grown up today, Brady and I am so proud of you.” Then he says to both children, “Okay, I really have to get up there and wait for Mommy, give me a squeeze and I’ll see you both real soon.” The kids hug both him tightly, almost knocking him off his position, kneeling on one knee.
As John turns to go toward the gazebo, Belle and Brady whisper back and forth and then Brady has one more question, “Daddy, do you remember on my birthday when I blew out my candles and made a wish? You told me not to tell it cause it wouldn’t come true.”
“Yes, I remember, what about it son?”
“Can I tell it now, cause Belle and me had the same one and we wanted to tell you for a long time!”
“Sure, Brady what is it?”
Almost afraid he’ll spoil it, Brady says quietly, “We wished to be a real family with you and Mommy. Is it really gonna come true now?”
Tears well up and his breath catches in his throat as John tries to answer, “Oh, yes! It’s really going to come true! In just a little while we are going to be a real family, you and me and Mommy…. for always!” Both Belle and Brady wear gleeful grins as he enthusiastically answers their heartfelt question and they run into his arms one more time. “Oh, boy! I can’t wait, Daddy!” they say in unison, their sweet little voices filled with great joy.
Just before he hurries to the altar John is approached by Shawn and Caroline Brady who have been standing back, quietly watching the children that are in their charge for the moment. Shawn walks over to John and says somewhat nervously in his Irish way, “John, I know you’re anxious to get this weddin’ underway and all, but I want to say that I’m…..happy for you. I’ve been knowin’ how much you loved Marlena for a long time, now.” John smiled and said, “Thanks, Shawn, that means a lot.” The two men stand awkwardly for a moment, eyes focused downward, then Shawn instinctively pulls John into a rough hug, clapping him on the back. “I love you…son.”
“I love you too….Pop.” John can feel the warmth of the man’s fatherly love as they embrace and he knows for certain that all the old wounds are completely healed.
Then it is Caroline’s turn. She is less hesitant and meets his eyes, “John, you know that we have loved you as our son for a very long time. We are so…glad this day has finally come for you and Marlena. I can see how very much in love the two of you are and we wish you both all the joy and happiness you deserve.” With tears in her eyes she hugs the groom, who still has a tear or two in his eyes as well. She finishes with, “I love you, John.”
As they pull out of the embrace John says quietly, “Thank you Caroline, your support means a lot to us. I love you too.”
John takes his place and the wedding march begins, and slowly but surely the kids do their jobs and the pairs of wedding participants glide gracefully down the pathway to the gazebo. By the time Sami and Bo reach the end of the aisle, John is about as anxious to see his bride as he could possibly be. Barely able to keep himself from running up to her and stealing her away, he relaxes as at last he hears the bridal fanfare and he has to take a deep breath. Here we go!
He looks up the slope of the hill around which she will appear and then…. he sees it, the horse-drawn carriage is visible. She’s coming… Oh, I can’t wait to see her and take her hand in mine… this is incredible… I can’t believe it! I am actually going to marry Marlena again! Thank you Lord for allowing this moment to arrive after so much pain and separation. John watches as the carriage bearing his love moves ever closer, the guests turn and gasp in amazement at just how very beautiful she is. The bride is simply radiant, her silky hair glistens in the sun, her face glows and her eyes are beaming with love as she gazes toward her groom.
He is so…handsome in his black tux with tails, a wing tip tie, and blue eyes that sparkle in the sunlight; he is a gorgeous sight to her.
Marlena sees him and can’t take her eyes off him, she tries to smile at the guests but her eyes want only him. Their eyes meet. wondrous wide smiles decorate their faces. Sheer joy. The moment they have prayed, hoped and dreamed would come has finally arrived. They savor it, mesmerized with each other.
John feels his heart pound in his chest, his breath leaves him as he stares. She is so beautiful! Marlena’s face flushes, she feels weak. Oh, man.. I am going to be Mrs. John Black in a few minutes. I can hardly believe it! Thank you God for bringing us through all the pain and sorrow and allowing this day to come, thank you for healing my heart. You know I love him so….
The carriage arrives at the appointed spot and Marlena disembarks as planned, the driver helping her down. Then she moves close to an elderly couple and the gray haired gentleman stands to take her hand. Marlena recalls the conversations she had about this idea, “It’s unconventional,” she had said and John had said, “Doc, since when have you cared about convention, just do what makes you happy.” John had the same answer to her question about wearing the full-length white wedding gown. “Honey, wear the gown you want, this wedding is supposed to please you, not match everyone else’s idea of what’s proper.”
She remembers discussing the other decision with the man before her. “I know it isn’t traditional when the bride has been married before, but this love John and I share feels like the first love in so many ways. It’s like I’m finally getting it right, and having you take part would be so special for me.” This man also remembers her words and can see the truth of them in her face as she looks at him now, and fully realizes just how special it is for himself as well.
He looks at her and is amazed. She has always been a pretty woman, but today, she is… otherworldly in her beauty. Her happiness burst forth from deep within and the glow of love that surrounds her is incredible! Tears fill his eyes and he says, “Marlena you look happier and more beautiful than I have ever seen you. I am overjoyed to share this day with you.” Another voice says, “Yes sweetheart we are so glad for you!”
She blushes, smiles brightly and says, “Thank you. I am filled with joy!” She steals a quick glance at the anxious groom, he smiles warmly at them both. Then, she turns back to her escort and says, “So, are you ready for your last trip down the aisle with me, Daddy?”
Her father smiles again and gives her a gentle hug saying, “Yes, I’m ready and I know this marriage will last a lifetime my sweet girl.” He pulls out of the embrace and they walk arm in arm toward the man of her dreams.
Moments later they stand ready, and the Priest says, “Who gives this woman into marriage?”
“Her mother and I do.” Marlena’s father places her hand in John’s and the magic begins. John looks at Frank and nods with thanks before the man returns to his seat.
Then the groom looks at his bride, his bright eyes beaming, love flowing out of his every pore. Marlena feels it wrap around her heart. She sends her love to him as well and they feel the warmth of their bond envelope them. Their hands feel perfectly matched, being held so tenderly and their eyes are locked in a lingering, caressing gaze.
The Priest clears his throat to capture their attention and the guests smile, knowing that this couple is very much in love and that they have waited so long for this day to come. “Dearly beloved… we are gathered here today to join two hearts, two souls and two lives that in many ways have been joined for years. Today is simply the public recognition and affirmation of a very deep and abiding love between two people, John Black and Marlena Evans. Today, they will be joined in the most sacred of bonds, that of holy matrimony, before God and these witnesses.”
The ceremony continues. Some of the words are not heard by the bride and groom as they are lost in a special place all their own, their bond of love, but they hear the most important parts and soon it is time to exchange the vows they have written. John is nervous, but his love will guide him and he feels a sense of peace as he begins….
“Marlena, first I have to say.. you are so….incredibly beautiful today that you literally take my breath away.” He pauses, still staring deeply into her eyes, to collect his thoughts, as he is quite distracted by her elegant appearance. The guests chuckle as they surmise the reason for his hesitation. “Doc, you know how much I love you, I am so… happy to be standing here with you! I can hardly believe this day has finally arrived, we have been through so much pain and separation and it almost took a miracle to bring us to this moment.” John paused again for just a moment before continuing, “I think you also know that my life has been one…strange journey and you have been there…always. Marlena, you have been a part of me, you have been in my heart and soul, literally from the beginning of time for me. Whenever I was in pain or… confused, you were there reaching out, caring for me….loving me, no matter what it cost you.” Tears come to his eyes as he speaks of his love, “Pretty lady, the simple truth is you fill up my heart and soul like nothing else ever has or will, you complete me, you make me whole! I love you with every fiber of my being!”
Staring into her love-filled eyes for a long moment, he begins his vows, “I promise you today… Marlena Evans, from this moment on, I will ALWAYS be there for you, I will love, honor, cherish and spoil you silly for all the days of my life. I will be faithful to you, I will adore you, respect you, listen to you, and believe in you every minute of every day for as long as we both shall live.”
He turns to his best man, Abe Carver, and takes the ring from him. After sliding his right arm gingerly out of it’s sling he takes Marlena’s hand gently and holds it out, poised to place the ring on her finger. “Marlena, I give you this ring as a symbol of my everlasting love and commitment, please wear it in recognition of the deep bond of love we share.” He places the ring on her finger, then raises her hand to his lips and kisses it tenderly. She cries tears of joy in response to all he has shared from his heart. John reaches out a hand and wipes away a tear or two, at the same time whispering, I love you..” and Marlena softly whispers the same words back to him.
The crowd says a collective “Ahhh” as he finishes and Marlena’s eyes are still glistening with moisture. She squeezes his hand to let him know how much he has moved her. Then she begins, “John, you know that I love you too, so…much and what you have just said to me reminds me of why. You are loving and kind and you touch my heart in so many ways, you lift my spirits, you make me laugh and cry with joy. You are the other half of my heart and soul, my true love. You have also been my hero, my knight in shining armor, rescuing me from harm more times than I can count. Whenever I have needed you, you have been there for me too.” She reaches up to touch his cheek, “And you have been a romantic fool since we reunited, surprising me at every turn with something more special than I could ever imagine and I must admit, I have LOVED every minute of it.” The guests chuckle lightly at this comment. “John I have loved you.. almost from the moment I met you and though I wished, hoped and prayed for it, sometimes it seemed this day would never come. I am so very thankful that it has.”
She pauses a moment to see his response, he has joyful tears in his eyes too and that melts her heart even more. Then she continues, “I, Marlena Evans, promise to love, honor, and cherish you, to trust you and believe in you for all the days of our lives. I will be faithful to you, admire and respect you every single day for as long as we both shall live.”
The bride readies the ring and takes her groom’s left hand in hers and says, “John, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment that will last until all eternity, please wear it in recognition of the deep bond of love we share.” She makes the same maneuver and kisses his hand. As she looks up, she sees his tears beginning to fall and reaches out her fingertips to gently wipe some away. As they take each other’s hands again, their eyes meet in anticipation and their minds exchange thoughts without words. Just a few more minutes and we are bonded for life…in love and marriage.. whew!
The priest pauses for just a second and then says, “And now I would like to give John and Marlena the opportunity to share the poems they have written to further express the love they feel for each other. The poems have the same title; they agreed to call them “You Are” and each has written the same number of lines, that is all they know about each other’s poems. John, would you start please?”
John feels a little nervous again, but one quick glance into her loving eyes and he experiences that peace and assurance only she can bring. He continues holding her hand and begins,
“Marlena…
You are the light to my darkness
The dawn to my deepest of nights
You are a ray of sunshine on the rainy days
An anchor in the stormy seas of my life
You are my shelter from harm
My sanctuary, when life’s pains overwhelm
You are my friend, my love, my soulmate
There is nothing with you I cannot share
You are a wondrous sunset over the ocean
The northern lights that shine through my soul
You are but a dream to me sometimes
A vision my heart and soul cannot always capture
You are the first soft snowfall in Winter
Sparkling white and pure, an incredible sight
You make me feel like a child on Christmas morning
As I think of you, I’m filled with the joy of anticipation
You are the wisdom I need for hard choices
The voice of reason in my zealousness
You are the calming influence when anger flares
The one who helps me face my fears and faults
You fill my heart and soul like no other has or will
You are quite simply the one true love of my life….
Once again a collective sigh is heard and Marlena gazes deeply into his eyes, amazed at his expression of love for her and she leans in and says, “You touch me so.. I love you, John..” Then she turns slightly so that the guests can hear her,
“John….
You are a fortress of strength
Protecting me from evil forces
You are the rugged beauty of the Rockies
Rising all around to shelter me from harm
You are my handsome, brave, hero
Always by my side, always there to rescue me
You are the perfect dance partner
Gently leading, yet allowing me to shine freely
You are a wild fire that burns out of control
Stirring passions in me I never knew were there
You are the coolness of the rivers
Washing away the fears that threaten to overwhelm
You are the howling or whispering wind that blows through me
An ever changing essence I cannot always understand or capture
You are a thunderous rainstorm
With awesome forces that flare and then calm swiftly
You are the power of the ocean’s waves
Reminding me of God’s greatness
You are the most brilliant of sunsets
Closing my day with you is a wonder
I cherish and trust you like no other in this life
You are my greatest blessing, my one true love..
John feels the depth of her love and allows himself to embrace it fully, he shows her that he truly believes in it. There is no insecurity, no fear, only total trust. The guests are captivated by the words of love exchanged and yet not at all surprised, for the depth of their love was always evident in their actions through the years. When one was ill or in danger the other would sacrifice and endure anything for the well-being of the other. The love between John and Marlena was always a selfless love and it was that quality that the evil ones tried to use against them, and their schemes worked for a moment, but ultimately were doomed to fail.
The truth is that the love shared by this man and woman is a deep and undeniable, unbreakable bond that transcends all else in their hearts, souls, minds, and bodies. And they have faith that it will go on to withstand all challenges and grow ever deeper, ever stronger and more complete until the end of time as they know it.
The priest waits for a few seconds and then says, “And now, the moment you have all been waiting for. Please face each other again.” He waits until they are appropriately aligned. “Do you John take Marlena to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish for as long as you both shall live?”
“YES I DO!” He answers with great enthusiasm, the brightest grin imaginable gracing his face, his eyes dancing with delight.
“And do you Marlena, take John Black to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish for as long as you both shall live?”
“Ohh, I DO I DO!!” Marlena’s smile is dazzling, she is blissfully enchanted with her groom as she looks at him .
“Then by the power vested in me I now pronounce you Husband and Wife.” Turning to John, who has gotten a head start, he says, “You may now kiss the bride!”
John takes Marlena gently in his arms and kisses her sweetly, it is a kiss filled with only a fraction of the pent-up desire of all the years apart. Now he can love her openly, kiss her freely and it is wondrous for them both. They feel at peace, their hearts and souls joined before God. The priest has to clear his throat yet again to get their attention. The couple straightens up with slightly flushed faces and their friends and family chuckle lightly with them as the Priest finishes the ceremony with a smile on his face as well, “It is my great pleasure to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. John Black!”
A round of applause follows and John and Marlena hold each other’s gaze for a moment, staring in amazement as if to ask… Did you hear what he just said? We are actually married now, we share the same name, the same life, the same everything! Then they hold hands and bound down the aisle, taking their first steps together in a shared life, steps marking the beginning of a long future of love and marriage.
This would be remembered as the day when a wish came true, a dream finally became a reality, and true love actually won out in the end.
It was happening, really happening, it wasn’t a dream or a fantasy; they were together, as husband and wife. ‘I can hardly believe it’s real,’ he thought. ‘My dream has come true,’ she said in her mind.
‘We are on the way to our honeymoon!’ they exclaimed with their hearts. John put words to it, “Doc, today marks the start of our new life, together.. forever! We will share everything, all of our hopes and dreams, from now on. You can never really know how much joy that brings to my heart and soul.”
Enthusiastically she answered him, as happy tears made a light stream on her face, “Oh, yes I can! I feel the same way, John. I have dreamed and fantasized about this day and what is to follow a thousand times and to be here with you now… it makes me…weak with joy! I love you so much there aren’t words to express it.”
John was filled with love and desire for her and he leaned over to kiss her with all of that love. “Oh, Doc.. to hear you actually say that and to see the truth of it in your eyes makes me want to hold you and make love to you and nothing else for the rest of our lives.” I love you lady, more than anything or anybody and I can’t wait until we get where we’re going, to please you is all I want from now until eternity.”
She was filled with the same desire and she felt herself responding powerfully to his kiss and touch. Thankfully, the privacy screen was shut as they got a head start on the honeymoon. Marlena whispered in his ear, “I can’t wait til you get me alone…”
“I can’t either and I promise you it will be worth the wait, Doc.” John captured her mouth and gave her a hint of what was to follow…soon. He moved to her neck, kissing the hollow, and she felt her desire for him building and had to pull away to catch her breath.
“Whew… if I can wait, that is… Oh, honey.. it’s been too long already!” Marlena moved back in and began to lick his ear which had the desired effect and she whispered, “So, you….want to…. tell me…. where we’re.. going now?” She was kissing him all over the neck and face in between her words and she sensed that his resistance was faltering.
He moaned with desire and managed a ragged answer, “Oh, Doc! you are relentless when you want to know something. I….really…wanted to surprise you, please.” She didn’t stop. Hearing his labored breathing had intensified her own need for him and she continued to kiss him, this time taking his mouth. Their tongues danced around each other, fueling the growing desire.
“Oh, John I want you so…” John pulled out of the embrace suddenly and she was taken aback. “John?”
Still breathing hard and fighting his own intense desire for her he said, “I’m sorry, Doc. I want our wedding night and our honeymoon to be perfect..” He paused and then finished with a shy smile as he caressed her cheek, “And… making love in the limo, it just wouldn’t be as….special as it should be, for you. You deserve for our time together to be wonderfully romantic. I want you to know how much you really mean to me and I want to…”
Marlena interrupted him with another sweet kiss and then said, “Oh, honey you are so sweet and loving. Any time or any place we are together is special, don’t you know that by now?”
He smiled warmly and returned the kiss. Then he stared into her love-filled hazel eyes and said sincerely, “Well, yes but this should be a time you remember for the rest of your life and I plan to make that happen, Marlena. I love you so much and I want to show you all of my love, that’s what this honeymoon is all about for me. I want you to feel loved and I want to pamper and spoil you and give you your heart’s desire, Doc!” He was so excited and it thrilled her to see him so happy after everything that had happened within the week before the wedding.
She spoke warmly and the love in her eyes made him feel like he was in heaven, “John, I have my heart’s desire…. he is sitting right here next to me.”
Marlena leaned in to kiss him gently, tenderly and he lost himself in the comfort of her embrace as he returned her caressing kiss. “Oh, Marlena how I love you…” As they ended the kiss they gazed deeply into each other’s eyes and saw the deep and abiding love they would share for the rest of their natural lives. “Mrs. Black, I feel so privileged to know that I will be with you like this every day for the rest of my life.”
“And, Mr. Black, I feel exactly the same way.” The couple leaned back in the seat, Marlena feeling so safe and secure perched against his strong muscular body, his left arm was nicely wrapped around her waist. They rode in companionable silence for the rest of the trip to the airport.
Before they knew it they were settled in to the plane for their flight to a place they had been before…. in another lifetime. Marlena wondered about their destination again, but decided to let it go for John’s sake. “So, how long will it take to get where we’re going, John can you tell me that much, please?”
John chuckled at her perseverance, “Oh, all right, if you must know something, it will take a couple of hours to get to…our first stop on the honeymoon, okay?”
“Our first stop? Hmmm, sounds intriguing, John? Let’s play 20 questions for awhile, it will give us something to do since you said we have to wait for the fun part.” She winked and leaned over to give him a kiss to tempt him.
“Doc, you make it hard to concentrate…on anything else but you. I love you so much, but…. I’m not telling!”
Marlena had a pouty face and then she said, “Oh, you! Okay, I guess I’ll have to sit way over here until we get there so we won’t be too tempted…” She kissed him fiercely and then broke off the embrace and walked seductively across the cabin and lounged on the other couch…. waiting.
“Why Marlena Black…. you are trying to…seduce me to get the truth aren’t you?” John closed the distance between them with two steps and leaned over her enticingly. Leaning down to kiss her he whispered in her ears, “I love you and I can’t wait until I can have my way with you, but it won’t be until we get where we’re going…. I have a little willpower left, just enough.”
Suddenly she pulled him to her and kissed him passionately at the same time as she began to touch the pleasure zones she knew so well. He moaned and his body relaxed into the embrace and her motions enticed him to the point that the willpower he had so confidently mentioned quickly began to weaken. “Oh, Doc! You make it impossible… Oh!”
Smiling triumphantly as she continued to kiss and touch him, she whispered, “What was that you said about just enough willpower, John? So, you still want to wait til we get there, husband of mine?”
“Oh, Marlena, please…. you know how much I want you right now, but I want it to be special honey… really!”
“It is, John. It already is because you are my husband and we will be spending the rest of our lives together.” Seeing that he was serious about it made her insides turn to mush; she knew he must have planned something very romantic and he wanted her to have a wonderful experience of lovemaking so she acquiesced. “All right, honey I won’t tempt you anymore, but could we at least hold each other until we get there?”
Smiling warmly he said, “I wouldn’t have it any other way, Marlena.” Then he wrapped his left arm around her again and she leaned back against his chest carefully so as not to hurt his right arm.
This time she heard a soft groan as she did so and quickly turned around in time to see him try to hide the grimace. “John, did I hurt you?”
John glanced away from her in an attempt to hide it, “No, I’m fine, just moved wrong, really.”
“No, I heard you groan and then I saw the pain in your face, have you taken the pain killers Mike prescribed for you?”
After hesitating momentarily, he reluctantly told her the truth, “Well, no I haven’t, Doc. They make me…groggy and I don’t want to… fall asleep on you tonight, that would be a disaster so I… skipped them.”
“John, I can understand your concern, but I don’t want you in pain all night either. Both the head injury and your shoulder could really get to smarting if you don’t take anything.” As she finished the sentence she could see from looking at the tension in his face as he looked away again that he already knew it; he was in significant pain at the moment and had been hiding it from her as long as he could. “John, I can see that you’re hurting right now, please take some medication so you can relax and enjoy the flight, okay?”
John knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t let it go so he agreed, “Okay, Doc. I’ll take one pill, but that’s all. I am not going to let a little discomfort ruin our wedding night, honey. We have waited so long for this dream to come true and nothing is going to spoil it, nothing!”
After he took his medication, they sat together in silence for a little while, and then as Marlena was speaking to him, she noticed his arm dropped away from her waist. John had fallen asleep and when she turned herself around to look at him, the expression on his face was priceless. ‘He must be dreaming,’ she concluded. John always looked boyishly sweet when he was having happy dreams.
She gently laid him down on the couch and covered him with a blanket. Content to stare at his gorgeous face and watch the slow rise and fall of the chest she had admired for so long, Marlena spoke quietly to his sleeping form, “Honey, the rest will do you good and then when we get wherever we’re going…. ” She imagined their lovemaking and felt her body temperature rising. “Oh, John I love you so…” She laid down next to him and snuggled up close, resting her head on his uninjured left shoulder, pleased simply to be near him and without fear for their safety.Before she knew it, the plane was descending and the bride sat up with the change in the sound of the engines. She smiled with satisfaction when she looked at her groom who was still sleeping peacefully. ‘He’s going to be so…embarrassed when he wakes up,’ she thought. Marlena shook him gently to awaken him, hating to do it; he really did need the rest after all that he had endured. He didn’t think she knew about the last attempt Kristen had made to take him or Stefano’s taunting phone call. “Honey, wake up, we’re here, wherever we are.”
John was groggy from the medication, but aware enough to realize he had fallen asleep on their wedding night, and just as she thought would be the case, he was embarrassed, “Oh, Doc… I fell asleep… I’m so sorry.. I…”
She smiled so warmly that he felt himself go weak inside, and then she touched his cheek gently and said, “John, honey it’s okay, you have been through quite an ordeal and you needed the rest. Besides, now I bet you’re ready to…. show me whatever it is you had planned for tonight.” She winked seductively.
Sitting up and more fully awake, he said, “Well, I’m glad you’re not disappointed in me and yes, I am feeling better and very ready to show you what I had planned, wife of mine!”
“Wife, oh I do like how that sounds, say it again,” she said excitedly.
“You are my wife! Finally, you are Mrs. Marlena Evans-Black!” John pulled her to him and kissed her passionately
.
She swooned. “And you are finally my husband…. it’s been so long, John. I missed you so…. All those years apart… Oh, I love you and I don’t ever want to be separated again, honey.”
He looked directly into her glowing hazel eyes and spoke with conviction, “We won’t Doc, I promise I am never going to let you go! I love you so much and I always have, always will. You can never really know how I ached for you and even though I tried to convince myself I could make a life for myself, I was dead inside without you, Marlena. And now… I am ALIVE, I am ALIVE because you love me and we are together again….forever!”
Tears rushed to both their eyes and she kissed him fiercely. When they slowly pulled out of the kiss she said, “Forever, Oh, John! I have always loved you too, I thought I would die when you were with…” She didn’t want to say the name. “And when you came to me and confessed your love…. I felt such joy! You are…my joy! I love you so much!”
“Marlena, I am so thankful you listened and gave me another chance at showing you my love. The simple truth is, we were made for each other, and I knew it from the start, I just…. didn’t want to hurt you again.”
“I know you didn’t John. I agree that we were meant for each other and I knew it too. I fought it, but I knew it from the first time I looked in those baby blues of yours.” Marlena paused to admire her groom and said as she moved in for soft kisses between her words, “I love those eyes… and that hair… and oh, those lips..” She stared at his handsome face and said, “Kiss me the way you do…”
“Your wish is my command, pretty lady.” He pulled her close again and his lips lingered near hers. He moved slowly and tenderly, brushing her lips several times lightly before fully capturing her mouth, and they both moaned with desire.
“Mmm oh that’s so nice,” said Marlena with a dreamy voice. “Mmmm hmm that’s the way…”
“Oh, Doc…. you…taste so good to me.” John continued caressing her mouth with his tongue until they were surprised by a sudden jolt. The plane was landing and they hadn’t even noticed. The force of the landing pulled them apart and they giggled. “Well, I guess we’re here, Doc,” John said grinning.
She smiled brightly, “Yes, wherever here is!”
“You’re gonna love it, Doc I promise! Come on wife, the honeymoon is about to begin!” He pulled her up off the couch and hugged her.
“Oh, it sounds so good to hear you call me wife… say it again!”
“Only if you call me husband,” he answered with a wink.
“Okay, husband, love of my life… take me away…”
He kissed her so passionately it left them both breathless. Staring into her eyes he said, “I will take you…. over and over and over… I can’t wait, my lovely wonderful wife! I love you, Marlena and tonight I’m gonna show you just how much!”
“Oooh, please do… lead on, honey!” she said in anticipation of what was soon to come.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another short limousine ride followed, and before they knew it they had reached the first stop John had mentioned. They were in an area of rolling hills; she knew that much, but not much more and was getting very curious. “John, now that we’re here, can’t you tell me exactly where we are?”
“Nope, not yet Doc. Soon…. very soon.” John leaned in to give her another desire-filled kiss and said, “Have just a little more patience, Marlena. I promise you it will be worth the wait.”
“Okay, John but you are making me crazy!” she said anxiously.
“And I intend to go on making you crazy….in a…good way.” He said those words in between tantalizing kisses and she felt herself falling into the love in his eyes.
“Oh, John if you keep kissing me like that I am going to be forced to take action.”
“Action, hmm I like that word. You mean this kind of action?” John pulled her close, sucked on her lower lip and managed to make them both breathless once again, surprising even himself with the intense desire he felt afterward.
She laughed at the surprise in his expression and said, “Umm hmm, that kind of action,” and she returned the favor by chewing on his ear lobe and then running her tongue lightly on the surface of his ear. John moaned with the sensations that threatened to take control of him, “Ohhhh, Doc..”
John was breathing hard and starting to sweat, so he had to pull away to keep himself from taking their lovemaking further. He still wanted to wait. “Oh, this is harder than I thought.”
Marlena couldn’t keep herself from giggling at his choice of words and she reached down below the waist line, placed her hand near the zipper and then whispered enticingly in his ear, “You know I think you’re right, honey…”
He thought for a moment and then realized what he had said and his face flushed slightly which she thought was adorable. “Well, I guess my one track mind is in full force right now, Doc,” he said with a smile and a wink.
“Guess so… and I like it, honey.”
“Good because I think there’s going to be only one thing on my mind for quite a while. I am a newlywed, you know?” He was so clearly delighted and it brought joy to her heart to hear him say that word.
“Umm hmm and so am I, Oh boy, so am I!.” She smiled with glee and then ran her finger around the edges of his lips. He responded by kissing and then sucking on those slender fingers. The rising desire threatened to overwhelm them…. just as the limo pulled to a stop. John and Marlena stared deeply into each other’s eyes and lingered there for a long moment before Marlena finally said, “Uh…honey…I think we’ve stopped.”
With a dreamy voice he said, “Oh, no we haven’t, we have just begun…Doc, there is so much ahead for us. I love you.”
“And I love you.” The driver was waiting patiently with their bags already unloaded and after several more minutes of dreamy staring, the couple emerged from the back seat of the limousine with slightly flushed faces.
“Thank you for waiting,” said John as he handed the man a very generous tip for his efforts.
The young man was astonished and said, “Thank you very much Mr. Black, thank you!”
“You’re welcome.” Then he turned to his bride and said, “Okay, we’re here Mrs. Black, let’s go inside.”
They were standing in front of a splendidly restored Victorian Inn sitting high on a hillside overlooking a beautiful river. It was breathtaking to her, viewed in the soft glow of the moonlight and the special lighting the owners arranged to highlight its best features. “Oh, John, it’s so beautiful. How did you ever find this place?”
“I have my ways, my dear wife. I have my ways.” John picked her up and carried her over the threshold of the house, and they both felt a sense of fulfillment, as their dream became a reality. They were finally husband and wife on the verge of celebrating their union with the incredible intimacy they had only shared in this married relationship. This time around there would be peace and contentment and a stronger sense of safety and security than ever before.
“Oh, John, I love you so…” Marlena felt safe and warm in his arms, marveling that at last he was her husband again. And yet it was for the first time. She relaxed and closed her eyes as he guided her by the hand up the stairs to their suite, both of them savoring the moment.
John paused on his ascent to gazed down admiringly at her beautiful smiling face, and he was filled with a greater sense of joy, peace and fulfillment than he had ever known. “I love you too, Doc… so much, so very much,” he whispered passionately as he kissed her tenderly, before continuing up the stairs. As they reached the threshold of the room he picked her up and carried her through, kissing her tantalizingly again before laying her down gently on bed. Their eyes were locked in an intoxicating embrace, they were mesmerized with each other and amazed that this glorious occasion had arrived at long last. This night of love was to be the beginning of forever and always, and every moment felt wondrous!
Marlena and John were lying on the bed kissing passionately. When they separated themselves briefly, John went to pour some bubbly and Marlena finally opened her eyes to look around the room.
It was bathed in the soft shimmering glow of candlelight. There were candles all around the room, some long ones in sparkling crystal candlesticks, some small votive candles on various surfaces; there were candles of all different colors and sizes. The room was also filled with vases of flowers, mostly lilacs, of course. No matter how many times he bought them, she never tired of their sweet scent; they were still her favorite. Period pieces were placed perfectly in the rather spacious suite; all the furnishings were authentic antiques from the Victorian era. There was a large four-poster bed with tall spindles, and there was a large picture window straight across the room. The view was a spectacular one, overlooking the river which Marlena did not yet know about. There was a dresser to the right of the bed and a desk on the next wall. Several feet to the left of the bed was the bathroom door, that room equipped with a large old-fashioned porcelain tub with legs. She sighed with pleasure as she spotted the bowls of strawberries and whipped cream and the bottle of champagne chilling. There was a stereo cabinet in the room, already playing soft romantic music. John had thought of everything. All his planning and his willingness to wait, so their lovemaking could be special, touched her.
“Oh, John this is beautiful… you are so romantic, and you please me so. ” She pulled him to her and kissed him with such passion he felt his breath leave him completely.
“Woah, Doc, I guess this means you like what I did!”
“You could say that, yes. I love it, John. The inn, this room, the candles, flowers, everything is so wonderful, honey. Thank you for wanting our time to be really special and making it happen for us.”
“You are most welcome, Marlena Black.”
“Ahhh, Marlena Black that is the nicest combination of names I have heard in a long time, John.” The music he was waiting for started to play, he gently pulled her off the bed to dance and she felt herself falling into the love they were beginning to make as they swayed back and forth to the strains of the serenading song:
One look in your eyes
And there I see
Just what you mean to me
Here in my heart, I believe
Your love is all I’ll ever need
Holding you close through the night
I need you…
I look in your eyes and there I see
What happiness really means
The love that we share
Makes life so sweet
Together we’ll always be
This pledge of love feels so right
And ooh I need you
Staring intently into those eyes, it was as if the years melted away and they were together for the first time–it was their first wedding night and it was enchanting. Tears filled his eyes and John said softly, “Oh, Marlena…. I have longed for this night…. I love you with everything I am inside, and I thank God for allowing this to happen. I am *so* in love with you, Doc!”
“Oh, John I am so in love with you too, and I’m sorry I ever let you go out of my life. I won’t ever do that again.”
Caressing her face, he said convincingly, “I won’t either, Doc. I don’t know how I ever fooled myself into believing I could go through life without you. I love you SO much!” He kissed her with the longing of all those years apart and she felt incredible pleasure and joy down to her soul.
As they pulled out of the embrace, she said tearfully, “John, you bring such indescribable joy to my heart. I can hardly believe this is real, I have dreamed of this night a thousand times, and being with you this way is all I ever want in my whole life.”
“Oh, Doc I feel the same way.” With tears glistening in the glow of candlelight, he spoke passionately of the depth of his love for her, “When I am with you, I feel whole, I feel complete. Marlena, there was this…empty place deep in my soul when we were apart and I kept trying to fill it, but I never could, Doc. You are the only one who can fill it. God I love you!”
“Oh, John I had that same empty place. I love you so….” They embraced powerfully again, and then enjoyed the quiet comfort of each other’s arms while the song continued to serenade them and guide their dance of love.
Here and Now
I promise to love faithfully
You’re all I need
Here and now
I vow to be one with thee
You and me..
Your love is all I need
When I look in your eyes
There I see all that a love should really be
And I need you more and more each day
Nothing can take your love away
More than I ever dare dream
I need you
“You’re trembling, honey. Are you all right?” John asked with concern.
Tears were glistening in her eyes again and she said, “I am trembling with joy, John. I am just so happy to be with you, to be your wife again. So many times I hoped and prayed that we would find our love again, but I sometimes thought this night would never happen. And now it’s here. We are on our honeymoon. Words cannot express how that makes me feel.”
“Well, Doc. I can think of a way we can both express how we feel without saying one more word.”
She wiped the joyful tears from his face as he did the same for her. Then Marlena said with a smile, “Oh you can? Well, please do show me, husband of mine.”
“Like I said, Mrs. Black, your wish is my command….for the rest of our lives.” With that he took her passionately in his arms and kissed her. Taking a strawberry in his hand, he dipped it in the whipped cream and placed it in her mouth. His lips hovered over hers for a moment and then he lightly licked all around them before fully taking her mouth in a smoldering kiss that sparked a roaring flame deep within their bodies. The sweet taste and the texture of the food served to fuel their growing desire and he guided her over toward the bed without ever breaking contact with her lips. They began to make love with the music still playing in the background, the words echoing the sentiments in their hearts as they acted out the strength and depth of the enduring love they felt for each other.
Here and now
I promise to love faithfully
You’re all I need
Here and now
I vow to be one with thee
You and me
Your love is all I need
Starting here, starting now
I believe in love
Starting here, starting now
I believe in your love
So fine to take a vow
Still dressed in fancy clothing, there was a lot of undressing to do as part of their lovemaking and they enjoyed that as well. Marlena began by slowly loosening John’s tie and unbuttoning his shirt, giving him a kiss on the chest underneath each button as she made her way from his neck to his waist. As she moved lower, he gasped with delight at the feeling of her soft moist lips on his chest and abdomen. “Oh, Doc.. that feels incredible.”
John began to repay the favor as he unzipped her dress, kissing her all over the neck and shoulders and she shivered with pleasure and moaned softly as the dress dropped to the floor. “Oh, John….ooh.”‘ She turned herself around to kiss him again and he gasped at her beauty.
“Marlena, you are so…incredibly beautiful, the most gorgeous creature God ever created…”. His voice caressed her even as he slid his fingertips under the thin straps of her slip and dropped them off her shoulders. He leaned over to kiss her tenderly all over the neck, slowly moving to the shoulders, then to the soft warm flesh of her breasts. Passionately he spoke in whispers, “You are so soft, Doc. I love your skin, the smell of it and the feeling of it under my hands…. So many nights I dreamed of being with you like this… How I love you, Marlena.”
Marlena felt herself melting into the sensations he was causing all over her body, the delight of it touching her very soul. “Oh, John….whew… you please me… you make me feel so cherished… ooh it feels so good, honey.” He was responding to her words and continuing to worship her body with his soft kisses and gentle caressing touch.
John moved down the length of her body with his mouth and his hands were roving all over her backside, tracing the ample curves of her hips and bottom and he said, “You are like a goddess to me, Marlena. It feels so amazing to be with you this way.”
Marlena decided it was his turn for awhile, and she said, “Let me help you with the rest of your clothes too.” He stopped for a moment in anticipation of what she was going to do and she pulled his shirt the rest of the way off of his body, then turned her attention to his pants. John shivered with pleasure as she slowly unbuckled the belt, kissing him on the abdomen as she did it, one hand gently rubbing the spot just below the buckle. Then she unzipped the pants very slowly, kissing his lips and continuing to tenderly massage him through the underwear as the trousers dropped to the floor. John was quickly losing any vestiges of control over his sexual appetite and he moaned with intense pleasure, “Oh, Doc… you’re making me crazy for you… I want you so much!”
“Good, I want you to be crazy for me, John.” Seeing his desire building by the second, she took his hand and guided him to the bed and their eyes never broke their gaze as they laid down together. She got as close to his body as she could, placing her body on top of his and whispered in his ear, “Please make love to me now, my wonderful handsome husband.”
John sighed with pleasure and began to take their lovemaking to new levels. He helped her take off the remaining items of underclothing and then as they were both completely unencumbered, he captured her mouth in a kiss that set off a roaring flame of love in both of them. “Oh, John!” she exclaimed and returned the favor, sucking on his lower lip until she heard him moan as well. ” I want this to last forever, it feels so incredible!”
“Oh, Marlena I need to get closer, I can’t get close enough!” John took control and placed his body on top of hers, pinning her hands above her head and the combination of restraint and his body weight made her gasp with sheer ecstasy.
“Oh… John… ooh, honey.. I want you now!” Marlena focused her energy on making him feel the same pleasure she did, so she kissed him fiercely, her tongue dancing all around his, teasing, tantalizing him, fueling his increasing desire for her.
John felt himself getting dizzy for her. There was nothing else but his intense need to join with her in body and soul, and he cried out, “Doc, I love you, I need you…Oh!” He began to feel himself lose all control; the desire owned him and all he experienced was Marlena and the feeling of his body intertwined with hers. They were becoming one in this moment and their bodies began to move instinctively, making a rhythm all their own, the pleasure intensifying with every kiss, every caress, every sound of love they made. They felt the waves of love washing through their bodies and souls, and they crested at the same time and slowly, luxuriously felt themselves riding those waves until they gently lapped upon the shore, until the sea of love was calm again.
“John, you make me so happy…. that was… incredible, honey. I love you very much.”
“And I love you, Marlena.” Then, after their breathing slowed a little, he couldn’t resist temptation and had to ask, “So, was it worth the wait, Doc?”
The room was filled with the sound of her throaty laugh and he felt as if he had just entered heaven. Finally, she answered with a kiss and then she said smiling brightly, “Yes, honey it was definitely worth the wait!”
All he could do was kiss her back and smile, his brilliant blue eyes sparkling with sheer delight because he had pleased her. Then he said with an ear-to-ear grin on his face, “Happy Honeymoon, Doc!” and that luscious laughter wrapped around his heart once more.
Here and now
I promise to love faithfully
You’re all I need
Here and now
I vow to be one with thee
You and me
Your love is all I need
John and Marlena knew beyond any doubt that their hearts were back where they belonged Their love was simply meant to be and no force on earth could ultimately keep it from being fully experienced or expressed. They believed that they were created to be together and nothing could ever separate them in the long run. This wedding night lovemaking signified the merging of two bodies and souls for a lifetime and the binding of two hearts, two minds, and two lives forever.
The bride awakened to the soft shimmering highlights of shadows and sunlight dancing on the bed sheets that covered her and her groom. Marlena lay next to him and began to run her hands over his chest, and she instinctively looked at the wounded right shoulder. She gently lifted up the bandages, which had become slightly dislodged during their lovemaking, and peeked at the damage. She had not seen it since Kristen’s last attempt to take John away. As she began to touch the site with doctor’s hands, he winced and groaned, turning away from her. She could see the swelling and redness; it was slightly warm to the touch. It appeared as though a stitch or two might have to be redone to hold the wound together. As she pressed lightly on one particular spot, he cried out, “Ow!”
Then, almost immediately afterward, he seemed to be dreaming and started rolling back and forth on the bed. In his mind he was calling out, “No…don’t,…I don’t love you… stop it..please..Doc..help me, Doc!” He became agitated immediately; his breathing rapid and shallow, his manner fearful, and she reacted by gently shaking him awake.
“Honey, wake up, you’re dreaming, everything is fine. John, wake up…I touched your wound, I’m sorry.”
He seemed to be coming to awareness, yet still immersed in the dream, trying to get away from something and he spoke out loud. “No! Don’t touch me! Get away from me, Kristen..stop, please!”
She was afraid he might rip the sutures and shook his good side more firmly. “John, wake up, you’re dreaming!” Suddenly, he sat up in the bed, sweating and breathing hard.
“Oh, Doc!…. Oh, it was…just…a dream, whew!” He rubbed his hands over his face to clear it of the sleepy cobwebs. Slowly, his breathing began to slow and he seemed to be calming down.
“John, what was that all about?”
“It was…Kristen, she…tried to…brainwash me to love her and she used that..device you were talking about to make me….have sex with her. It was so….real, Doc!” He shook his head to clear it of that sick vision. When he saw the horrified expression on Marlena’s face he wished he hadn’t told her. “Oh, I’m sorry, here we are on our honeymoon and I’m talking about her. Forgive me?”
She sighed, feeling exasperated with his desire to shield her, “John, forgive you for having an upsetting dream and telling me about it? Please, there is nothing to forgive, John, but I do wonder why you dreamed of her just now.” Marlena wanted to see what he remembered since the shooting; his memory was likely to be fuzzy because several traumas had taken place in less than 24hours.
He was thoughtful and sat up in the bed while saying, “I….think it’s because of her..trying to take me by force…you know that day I left the hospital. “And…” He hesitated before telling her, but she wanted honesty so he went on, “I wasn’t going to tell you this, but she tried again on our wedding day….right after we talked on the phone. She…drugged me and…tried to…have sex with me.”
“I know…. I didn’t want to spoil our day, so I kept it to myself. Abe and Mike called me because they were concerned and thought I should know in case you…became upset about it. I came to see you, John. I…helped you…overcome the effects of the drug she used.” Marlena was careful in choosing her words, she didn’t want to make it worse.
With a puzzled expression, he asked, “You did? I don’t…remember that at all. Well, I’m….okay, really. It’s…just.. Oh, never mind, this is our honeymoon and we’re supposed to talk about us and how much we love each other.” He felt strangely embarrassed about what had happened and frustrated that they were still affected at all by the woman.
“John, I love you and if something hurts you or upsets you, we should talk about it, honeymoon or not, all right?”
He reached up to caress her cheek and stroke her silky hair saying, “Your love for me and your compassion never cease to amaze me, Marlena.”
Marlena returned the touch and said, “I just love you so much! So, tell me, already,” she said, wanting to talk about it and move on quickly.
]
“I was just going to say that it’s still hard for me to understand how she could do such evil things and say they were motivated by love. I still can’t comprehend that or how I could…ever have cared for someone who was capable of what she has done. It makes me question myself, and no matter how hard I try to tell myself it wasn’t all my fault, I can’t help it, I just feel like such a fool!” John couldn’t completely shake off the self-doubt, though he was making some progress, he felt.
“John, stop this right now! You are not to blame for all the evil acts, she is. She is the one who hurt people, not you. You were one of her victims, John, as I was.”
“Yea, I know that in my head, I guess my heart will get it eventually huh? Anyway…let’s change the subject here, I don’t want to waste another second of our lives thinking about her.” He took a deep breath, then let it out and changed mental gears. John smiled mischievously and asked, “So, did you get a chance to look out the window yet, it’s a very nice view, Mrs. Black.”
“Well, no my mysterious husband.” She paused to kiss him on the chest and said, “I was enjoying another view…” She started kissing various spots and continued talking, “And….it’s…a.. very….nice….view, in fact….one of… my favorites.”
“Oh, Doc… that feels… amazing, I…oh… yea.” He began to caress her breasts and stared into her eyes as he did so. Then he added, “Yea… this view is….really good too. I guess the other surprise can wait…. a…little while anyway.” He tried to kiss her lips and she pulled back, his words having just sunk in.
]
“Surprise? There’s another surprise?” The girlish enthusiasm and curiosity in her voice was obvious and he chuckled.
“Gosh, and I thought you were more interested in me… shucks… first full day of marriage and I’m old news already.” A mock expression of rejection appeared on his face.
Marlena giggled and kissed him again, convincingly. “Oh, no honey… you are….definitely not, old news. Let me show you just how new and exciting we are together, my love…” She winked very seductively.
John stared back and said, “Please do, Doc.” He leaned back in bed and waited for her to make a move.
Marlena moved in for a kiss and played with his desire for her, first running her fingertip around his lips and then tracing the path with her tongue, letting it glide smoothly on the edges. Then her tongue danced around his and they were both well on their way to being consumed by the overwhelming passion they always felt for each other. “Oh, Doc! Woah….you really know how to get a guy going…in the morning. I want you…so much wife!”
“And I want you so much…husband.” Marlena’s desire was building quickly as well and she began exploring his body with her hands while continuing to kiss him. When he began to moan she intensified her motions.
John felt the rising tide of passion and he began to caress her naked body, touching all the pleasure zones with gentle steady pressure and soon they were near the peak of love…breathing hard, making soft sounds of love and wanting to become one again. He gently placed her body on top of his and she leaned down to kiss him, sucking on his lower lip and that simple action made him need her instantly and he moaned with the incredible desire he felt. “Oh, Doc….I need you..now!”
“I need you too, John, Oh!” Marlena leaned in, allowing him to caress and kiss her breasts and at the perfect moment their bodies joined to merge into one and they shared a blissful ecstasy of love.
“Oh, Doc! I love you.. I love you!” John lost touch with everything but the electrifying sensations in his whole body as he shared himself with her.
“John, oh John! I love you so…” she cried out in immense pleasure.
Afterward, the newlywed couple laid in quiet companionship for a long while, just happy to be together and safe on their honeymoon. It felt glorious to make love and be in love, openly and honestly with no fear of someone trying to steal their happiness away from them.
One hour later, both were getting dressed in jeans and casual shirts for their morning activity, of which Marlena still had no idea at this point. John stared out the window, hoping everything was set, when Marlena came out of the bathroom brushing her hair. “Hello, Mrs. Marlena Evans-Black, did that shower feel good?”
She approached him slowly and replied, “Yes, it felt great, John. I am so…happy to be here on our honeymoon with you, there aren’t words to describe how I feel!” she said with much enthusiasm.
“Good, that’s how I want you to feel every day for the rest of our lives, Marlena.” Motioning to her he said, “Now, would you come on over here, I have something I would like to show you.”
During their lovemaking, she had forgotten his question about the view and was curious again. “Hmm, you really do want me to look out this window, don’t you?” she said, wondering what he had planned.
“Yes, I do, Doc. I want to see if you’ll recognize anything or not, it’s been awhile since we’ve seen anything like this.”
The tone of his voice and the expression on his face implied they had been here before, but she hadn’t recognize the Inn. “Hmm, what are you up to Mr. Black?” she asked as she finally stared out the window instead of at him. As she took it all in, realization suddenly dawned on her. “Oh, John…this is…” She paused to look at him and then continued with a wide smile and amazement in her expression. “This is…West Virginia, that’s the river…..and over there…that’s the hill! Oh, John, you brought me to the place where we first admitted we loved each other!”
“You got it, Doc!”
She practically jumped into his arms, forgetting about his injured right shoulder for a minute. “Woah, Doc, take it easy, honey,” he said smiling at her enthusiasm. “So, does this mean you like my surprises?”
“Oh, John you are so romantic and sweet! How in the world did you find this Inn?”
“On one of those…business trips I said I had to go on, I came here and searched the entire area for the perfect view of the river and the hill and this was it. Now, come on let’s get going, we have a hike before breakfast.” John pulled her toward him with the left hand and arm. “Are you up for it, wife of mine?”
She shook her head in astonishment at the time and energy he put into pleasing her and smiled with joy, “Yes, my sweet handsome husband. Whatever you have planned, I’m all for it. You never cease to melt my heart, John.”
“Good, I love seeing you smile like that, Doc. I hope to put that smile on your face several times a day if I can.” He kissed her passionately before turning toward the door.
Within half an hour they had reached their destination, *the hill.* John turned to Marlena with slightly moist eyes and said, “This is it, Doc, the place my life really began. When I saw you run up that hill toward me, I was filled with joy because I could see the love you felt for me.”
“Oh, John! I did love you, so much, but I thought that…” She stopped, hesitant because she always thought these were bittersweet memories for him.
John started speaking again when she paused, “Doc, the reason I brought you here is to tell you something I’ve never said to anyone before.” He gestured to the area as he explained, “After I found out I wasn’t Roman, these memories were painful for me because I felt like they weren’t real, that you didn’t really love…me. But, I have come to realize something since that time of my life. The love we felt that day, in that moment you called me Roman, it WAS real. It was as real then as it is today, and it wasn’t just because you thought I was him. You loved me for who I was with you, and you wanted me to be him because of how you lost him and the pain you felt, but it was really me you loved all along. You loved me when you had no idea of who I was, and even when you thought I was..Stefano. So, I brought us here on our honeymoon to make some new memories of the two of us together, memories of love between John and Marlena Black.”
She was crying for the old pain and for the new joy she felt for him and for herself, “Oh, John! That is so…romantic, you touch my heart so… I did love you all along, I knew that I was going to fall for you very soon after we met, but as you know I fought it.” Smiling sweetly she said, “I am so glad I lost that battle, John.”
He pulled her close and said, “Me too, but I knew you would lose, how could you ever resist my charms, anyway?”
She laughed that enchanting laugh and he felt himself go weak in the knees like he always did when she laughed. “Oh, how I missed that laugh and that dazzling smile of yours during all those years apart. I love you so much Mrs. Black!” He moved in for a powerful kiss, demonstrating how thrilled he was to be married to his forever love.
“And, I have missed seeing your eyes sparkle with happiness. Thank you for bringing us here, John. It was a terrific idea.” After the couple spent a few moments staring into each other’s eyes, mesmerized with each other, Marlena started scanning the hilltop as if she was looking for something.
John knew he had her hooked. “Uh, Doc…something wrong?” he asked teasingly.
“No, just looking around and….remembering.” She tried to hide the fact that she was expecting another surprise from him.
Suddenly he said, “Do you trust me, Doc?” He wanted to have some fun for a few minutes.
“Well, that depends on exactly what you mean, John. If you are asking me would I trust you with my life, the answer is yes, without thinking. If you’re talking about putting a loaded can of whipped cream in your hands… the answer is, no. Does that help?”
John started to laugh and replied, “Oh, well would you please trust me enough to close your eyes for just one minute and take my hand?”
She was having fun too and pretended to vacillate, “Well…all right, for the sake of the wedding vows we said yesterday, okay.. I’ll do it.”
“Good, now take my hand.” He waited until she had her eyes closed and led her about ten feet away to an area that was slightly hidden from their line of sight.
When she was standing in exactly the right place he said, “Okay, Doc open your eyes, I think we might have found what you were looking for.”
Her heart was simply overflowing with love for her new husband and tears filled her eyes again at yet another romantic gesture designed for her pleasure. “Oh, John, you are the most wonderful, sweet, and hopelessly romantic man in the whole world!”
John beamed with joy to see the happiness that she exuded and replied, “So, I guess that means you like my other surprise.”
She nodded and then took him in her arms and kissed him fiercely. Then she said, “I don’t know how you always manage to keep toping yourself with all these romantic moves, but I sure hope you never stop. I love you so…”
He responded earnestly, “I love you and I promise you, the love and romance department never closes where I’m concerned, Doc. I plan on wining and dining, dancing and romancing, and plain old spoiling you rotten for the rest of your sweet long life, wife of mine!”
“Wife, oh, boy, do I like the sound of that! Lead on husband,” she said smiling with utter delight.
It felt gloriously free for John and Marlena to love each other so openly and so honestly after several years of hiding their deep feelings for each other. It was still registering in their hearts and minds that their experience was real, that they were actually married. Nothing and nobody had stopped their wedding and the evil schemers who had tried were safely locked in jail. They could celebrate their love and marriage in peace and safety; it was a truly marvelous sensation for them.
She stood staring at the spread before her and was astonished that he was able to coordinate all his plans. There was a soft blue blanket filled with everything one could want for breakfast alfresco. There was a small table with a red and white checkered tablecloth, a picnic basket sitting on top, a bucket of ice with two carafes of juice, a portable radio already playing music to set a mood, and a vase of violet and white lilacs. There were three covered trays full of cheese, fruit, and sweet rolls and bagels and a thermos of coffee as well. “Oh, John…. you are so wonderful to me. I don’t know how in the world you keep doing this, but please don’t stop.”
“Promise,” he said smiling sweetly before kissing her lightly. “I’m so glad you’re happy with my surprises. I was…wondering if you would want to come back here and I hoped you would feel the same way I did about it.”
She stared at him in wonder, “I’m so pleased, John. The inn is beautiful and seeing this place again after so long…it brings back the reality of how long our love has lasted. John, it was….eleven years ago, can you believe that?”
He smiled strangely and said, “Yes, almost ten of them without you. It seemed like an eternity when we were apart. For so long, I thought that dreams and memories were all I would ever have of love with you, Doc.” With a sense of amazement he said, “I can’t tell you how happy I am to be here with you now, as your husband. I love you more than I can say, Marlena.”
“Oh, John…. I love you like that too. I am so glad you brought me here. I want to see it all, find the cabin if it’s there, see the river…. the park!”
“Woah, slow down, there will be time for all of that, let’s enjoy some breakfast first, okay?”
She smiled and winked, “Yes, let’s,” and with that she sat down on the blanket and began investigating the selection of food. Then, a few seconds later she asked a question he had asked earlier. Winking somewhat mischievously as she spoke, she asked him, “John, do you trust me?”
John stared at her for a moment and then answered reluctantly, “Uh…that depends on the situation. Like you said before, if you mean with my life, I say yes, without hesitation, but on the other hand, if you’re talking about something messy, then the answer is no.” They winked at each other, both seeing something indefinable in the other’s eyes, knowing something was going to happen during the course of the morning, but not exactly sure what it was. “Why?” he asked thinking of his own little mischievous plan.
“Oh, just wondering,” she said as she focused her attention back on the food.
“Mmm hmm,” he said, knowing that wasn’t an entirely truthful answer. ‘Wonder what she’s up to,’ he thought. Then, he decided to pay attention to eating as well, his stomach growling with hunger.
As they ate bagels and fruit and had some coffee, they began to talk about the old memories. “Doc, do you remember when I kissed you and you…pulled out of it and slapped me?”
She winced at the memory. “Yes, I do, but why did you bring that up, it wasn’t so…nice.”
John had a dreamy expression on his face as he said, “Oh, yes it was because that was when I knew..” He stopped talking, lost in the moment.
“Knew what?” she asked, already knowing his answer.
“That’s when I knew for sure that you loved me, Doc. I’ll never forget it because I could tell you loved me and you liked the kiss, but you were upset with yourself for falling in love with someone you thought you shouldn’t love.”
She pretended to be upset with him by her expression, waving her forefinger at him as she began, “You…are so….right!” When she finished, she was smiling widely and she kissed him fiercely. “I loved that kiss, but I was so mad at you, and myself. I thought you could be Stefano and I believed in my head that I shouldn’t love you, but my heart knew what was right, John. My heart has always known.”
Caressing her cheek and staring at her with love-filled eyes, John said passionately, “Oh, Marlena, that’s exactly right. That’s why I wanted to come here because our hearts knew in that moment that our love was good and true. In spite of all the craziness that surrounded us then, we knew from that second forward that the love we shared was right.” John pulled her to him and kissed her again, caressing her cheeks and her hair at the same time. Then, he nuzzled her neck and she tilted her head back and he kissed and ran his tongue on her already warm flesh. “I have always loved you and I always will, Doc. There is nothing better than the kind of love we share.”
She found herself becoming quickly aroused by his touch and his kisses. “Oh, John I love you too, so much…ooh!” They kissed and nuzzled for a few minutes before disengaging and finishing their meal.
When they had eaten as much as they wanted, both sat back quietly and began to think of something different to do. Marlena distracted John by saying she thought she heard a noise a few feet away and then while he stepped away, she snooped around to look at everything in the picnic basket and the cooler. After a minute or so she spotted what she knew had to be there, a can of whipped cream. Ah, so that’s what he was planning, she thought. Marlena snagged and hid it in a strategic place and then made herself comfortable, taking off her light jacket, unbuttoning the top two buttons of her shirt and laid back to wait for him.
When John returned, she looked at him seductively and he forgot about the distraction and his own little plan when he stared at her beauty. “Oh, Doc….you are so…beautiful to me, more and more every day. I love you, pretty lady.”
John quickly took off his own jacket and laid down next to her and started to kiss her neck as he unbuttoned her shirt the rest of the way. Then, he slipped it off her shoulders and began kissing and touching her soft warm skin and she found herself forgetting everything else but the sensations in her body. “Oh….John that is so wonderful. You please me so..” Marlena reached up to take off his shirt as well, kissing him powerfully as she did so, her tongue dancing around his, fueling their mutual desire.
His breathing was labored, sweat beads were forming, and he said, “Oh, yea…I love making love with you, Marlena. There’s nothing in the world but you and me together, I love you so much!”
Their shirts gone, it was time for more clothing to come off and the break in contact allowed Marlena to remember what she wanted to do. She smiled wickedly and captured his full attention with a little massage. One hand went down his pants while the other reached for the can she had hidden. When she had him lying down with his eyes closed, kissing his chest and belly, she shook the can and readied herself for a battle, knowing she would get in one good shot before he overpowered her and played payback.
Smiling as she did it, Marlena prepared to spray his face and chest. “Surprise!” she said loudly as she squirted him with the cold white sticky substance she knew he had intended to spray on her when he had the chance.
John yelped and sat up immediately, “Oh Doc! How did you find that?” He was flabbergasted by her action, he was covered in whipped cream and couldn’t even see at the moment. He was totally at her mercy as she started to laugh heartily, intermittently licking the substance off of his body. Laughing and feeling intense desire at the same time, he recovered enough to find her hands and a struggle ensued for the can. She started to get up off the blanket, but he was too strong and took the can away as she scooted a foot or two away from him.
Marlena, who was still laughing, raised her hands and pleaded for mercy, “Now, John…it was just a little fun and I know you were planning on getting me, so I…just made a pre-emptive strike, that’s all. Go easy on your poor little defenseless wife, won’t you, please?” She gave him her most vulnerable expression and hoped he would go for it.
He laughed, “Defenseless, hardly Doc! Payback is so much fun isn’t it though?” he asked, while still wiping the cream out of his eyes. John raised the can and she raised her hands and screamed, “John, oh John! No!”
John ignored her playful protest and proceeded to spray it all over her face and chest also. They both giggled as they began to kiss and lick it off each other’s bodies. Within seconds their desire reached a frantic pace and they were in the throws of heated lovemaking, forgetting all about the can of whipped cream for the moment.
The remaining clothing was removed and within minutes they were intertwined, the rush of their love taking over for all conscious thought. John ran his fingertips lightly all over the surface of Marlena’s body and she felt incredible arousal, every nerve fiber stimulated. “Oh, John I want you so badly..oooh honey, that feels so incredible!”
She wanted to bring him to that level as well and ran her tongue along a similar path, making sure she got the rest of the whipped cream off his skin. “Doc…oh, baby….I need you, now!”
John turned her over and pressed his body to hers and as he entered he hoped he could hold off long enough to please her too. Engulfed by the burning hot flames of passion, they felt themselves blending into one being, and it was a wondrous experience, each time better than the last. Sharing married love, secure love, was as blissful as life could get and they basked in the afterglow for a long while, content to lay quietly wrapped in the warm blanket of their deep bond.
Marlena woke up first, and went to make sure John was covered before taking a short stroll around the area. As she moved to do so, she noticed that his skin tone wasn’t looking good. She checked the wound and it was hot and red, the area of swelling was enlarging. It was also sticky. Obviously, some whipped cream had found it’s way into the wound, making matters worse. She touched his forehead and it was warm too. “I can’t believe I forgot about this, it needs to be stitched again, and there’s an infection developing. Oh, John, we did too much too soon.”
John turned in his sleep and groaned as she touched the wound again, “Ow… what’s going on?” he asked, only half-awake.
“John, honey? How are you feeling?”
First he said, “Great, we’re together on our honeymoon!” Then he tried to sit up, and felt the pain and dizziness and instantly had to lie back down. “Oh…except for a few minor problems,” he said indicating his still bandaged head and shoulder. Then he saw the look on her face, “Doc, what’s wrong?”
“Sweety, you felt weak and dizzy just now, didn’t you?”
“Yea, I just…sat up too quickly….right?” She didn’t say anything. “Right, Doc?”
“No, John. Look at your shoulder.” She pulled the bandage back to show him. It was worse than even a few minutes earlier.
“Oh…it’s pretty.. swollen and red, that’s a problem huh?”
“Yes it is, we need to take you someplace and have it examined and get some medication. There’s most likely an infection developing, you’re running a slight fever too. Do you feel it?”
He touched his head and nodded, “Yea, I was hoping it was just being covered up and because I sat up too quickly after resting. Darnit all, Doc! Every time we have a chance to enjoy ourselves something comes along to ruin it,” he said, sounding discouraged.
While helping him sit up again, she said, “Well, John it won’t take us long if we go right away and have this taken care of, but it could be a problem if we let it go without treatment. So, let’s just pack everything up, get you fixed up and then get back to the fun, okay?” She kissed him to help him feel more positive about the situation.
It felt good to kiss her again, “Mmmm, yea…let’s get it over with and get right back to the business at hand, Doc.”
“You mean, this business?” she said as she nuzzled his neck from behind, while starting to gather their things for the walk back to the Inn.
John turned around to kiss her and felt sharp shooting pain down the entire length of his right arm, making him yelp and he almost fainted dead away. “Woah! that…hurt.”
She could see the lines of tension in his face, “What happened?”
“Pain just went shooting through my arm, Doc. It felt like it was on fire and I almost passed out.”
Trying to sound casual she said, “You know what, John let’s just leave all these things here and leave right away to find the hospital.”
“Doc, you’re worried, what do you think it is?” He was slightly alarmed because she definitely was, though she was trying to hide it.
She stood up, and busied herself with gathering her sweater, not wanting to give herself away. “It’s nothing, I just…want to get this over so we can enjoy ourselves again, and it seems like a hassle to take all this stuff back to the Inn, that’s all, John.” She hoped he would accept that explanation.
“No, that’s not it, Doc. Come on, you’re worried. Tell me why.”
“All right, I’m concerned that you have an infection that’s trying to..travel, that the pain you just had means it’s spreading throughout your system. I want to take you to the hospital right now, John.”
He was stunned, “You’re saying, time is critical. Are you…afraid it could….” He couldn’t even say it, the whole thing was such a shock. He thought he was well on his way to healing from both injuries.
She didn’t want to think that way, but the fear was there in the back of her mind, and he saw it in her eyes. “John, I just think we should go…now. Come on, let me help you up.” She reached out to pull him up by his left hand and arm.
He was going to say, ‘You’re afraid it could..kill me. Doc, how can that be, it’s just a little swelling, redness and fever. No big deal, right?’ but he didn’t. Looking into her eyes gave him an answer he didn’t want to hear with words. So, he let her help him up and they walked back to the Inn in silence, except for the few times she asked him how he was doing.
Each time he answered, “Fine,” even though he wasn’t. John was more than a little unnerved by the fear he saw in her eyes and he finally said, “Doc, don’t worry, it’s going to be all right, you’ll see.” Then he put his good arm around her shoulders for the rest of the trip. Soon the rented car was in sight, and after checking with the owners of the Inn about the nearest hospital, they drove off quickly.
John leaned back and began to fade out as the fever rose quickly. “John, are you okay?” asked Marlena.
“Yea, a little tired, that’s all. Don’t worry so much Doc,” he said, trying to be reassuring.
After another fifteen minutes or so, she reached for his hand and found it very hot. “Oh, John you’re burning up, honey!” Marlena couldn’t keep the fear from her voice; she was very worried for his health.
Within a half hour they reached a small community hospital. As soon as she put the vehicle into park, Marlena jumped out and raced around to get John out of the car and into the emergency room. He was not totally unconscious, but he wasn’t responding to her questions any longer either. She was somehow able to get him on his feet, but that was all the further she got with him, as he collapsed in her arms before she could make it to the automatic doors of the ER. She yelled to two exiting paramedics before they climbed back in their ambulance. “Help me, please, my husband collapsed and I need to get him examined quickly!”
Without hesitation, the two men rushed over, one grabbed a gurney and the other raced to John’s side, instinctively checking vital signs and asking, “What happened?”
She knew it would sound strange, but that couldn’t be helped. “We’re on our honeymoon, he was.. shot two days ago, but we went on the trip anyway, thinking he was healing well.”
There were questions the man wanted to ask her, but he didn’t. “Oh.. well, let’s get him inside, the Docs here are good for a small town hospital,” the paramedic said, somehow sensing that the couple was from a much larger community.
As they wheeled John in, Marlena replied gratefully, “Good, thank you for your help, we both appreciate it very much.”
“No, problem, just doing our jobs,” said the other man. Good luck and…congratulations on your marriage.”
“Thank you.”
Within seconds, a young physician greeted them and guided the gurney into an examining room, while asking for the vitals. The EMT reported them and then the doctor asked Marlena, “Could you tell me what happened in detail please?”
“Well, as you can see he was shot recently, and I noticed this morning that a couple of his stitches seem to have popped loose. There was also some swelling and redness, but we’re on our honeymoon. He didn’t complain of much pain and I….forgot about it. Then a little while ago, I noticed that the redness and swelling were worse and he was running a fever. I’m very concerned about an infection; he had some shooting pain in the arm a short time ago. Now, the fever is up, and he just collapsed outside before I could get him inside the hospital.”
“Okay, thank you, that helps give us a starting point.” The young doctor examined the wound and the arm, indeed the whole arm was hot to touch, and the redness was spreading down its length as well as across his chest. “Well, he definitely has an infection of some sort and it appears to be spreading rapidly. I’m going to draw blood and start him on a course of aggressive antibiotics at the same time. If we need to change horses in the middle of the stream we will, but we can’t afford to wait. The infection could be very serious; we cannot allow it to spread any further without any medication to fight it off. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I’m an MD, a psychiatrist, actually and that was exactly what I was afraid of when he talked about the shooting pain. Please act quickly!”
The man nodded and started barking orders to his nurses and within moments John had IV’s hooked up and monitors everywhere, blood was drawn and on its way to the lab for stat analysis in less than minutes. All that was left to do was watch and wait. Marlena sat down at his bedside, thinking how quickly events could turn, how unpredictable life could be.
After watching the nurses clean the wound and re-bandage it, she took his hand and said, “Oh, honey, I can’t believe this is even happening, just an hour or two ago we were making love in one of the prettiest places I know of and now…look at you.” He didn’t respond, the fever was quite high, his body was laboring to fight off the growing infection that crept throughout his body from the bullet wound. “We should have waited, John. We should have stayed in Salem until you were well enough to travel! Oh, John…please fight this, please be okay for me!”
John summoned the strength to squeeze her hand, letting her know he could hear her and that he was indeed doing what she hoped for, but he wasn’t able to speak to her. It shocked him because it all happened so fast and she could read the fear in his eyes. “It’s okay sweety, you do have an infection like I thought and they’re treating you with antibiotics while they try to isolate what type of infection it is. They’ve also given you some medication to bring down your fever a little bit. It’s going to be all right, John… just rest for me okay?”
All he could do was nod his head, it took too much strength for anything more and then he closed his eyes and began to drift off to sleep, hoping to wake up soon from what seemed like a nightmare. Somehow, he managed before going all the way out, to whisper to her, “love you…Doc …always will..” Just in case the unthinkable happened he wanted her to hear it one last time.
“Oh, honey..I love you too, please just rest now. Don’t try to talk at all, I know you love me. Believe me, John it’s okay….you’re going to be fine.” Please God, let me be right about that! She continued to pray silently as she watched him fall asleep.
Three hours later, Marlena was still sitting at John’s bedside holding his hand. She was worried; the fever wouldn’t seem to go down much in spite of all the medication he had been given for that purpose. Even though she knew the fever was serving a purpose, she hated to see him sweating and shivering so much. “Please be okay, John. I cannot lose you, honey. Come on, please respond to the medication!”
Almost on cue, she heard the words she had been praying for. “I have good news,” said the physician who had examined John earlier. “The antibiotics appear to be working well. It looks very good right now. I thin that your husband is going to be just fine and you’ll be back to your honeymoon in no time!” She felt an immense sense of relief at his report. “Oh, thank you so much, Dr…”
“Dr. Tim Edwards, nice to meet you, Dr..Evans is it?” Seeing her wonder how he knew, he said, “I…took a peek at the paperwork, and looked you up. You have fine reputation, Doctor….”
She blushed slightly then said softly, “Thank, and please…call me Marlena.”
“Okay, and you call me Tim.“ Looking down at his sleeping patient, he said, thinking one thing and meaning another, “Your husband in one lucky man, Marlena You brought him here just in time, any longer and he might have..died.”
“That’s what I thought, so he’s really going to be alright?” she asked, glancing down at his sweaty feverish form, still feeling worried about the overall outcome.
Knowing what concerned her, he reassured her, “Yes, he is. Don’t worry, the fever should start to come down soon and you’ll be able to continue on with…whatever else you have planned.” He glanced over at the man again and then his curiosity got the best of him. “If you don’t mind me asking, how is it that you came here to West Virgina for your honeymoon, why this place?”
She sighed. “It’s a very long story, one I’m sure you don’t have really have time for. Suffice it to say, this area holds some very special memories for us and we started our honeymoon here. John has another stop planned as well, but I don’t know where that is..yet.”
“Oh, he likes to surprise you, huh?” the doctor asked, wishing she weren’t married at all. She was the most attractive and interesting woman he had met since moving in the area after his divorce.
Marlena smiled, looking down at John again and said, “Yes, he does, in more ways than one I’m afraid.”
Tim smiled too and said once more, giving away a hint of his real meaning as he looked into her shining hazel eyes, “Like I said, he’s one lucky man. Congratulations on your marriage and best wishes to you both.”
“Thank you again, Tim. When can I expect to take him out of here?” she asked hopefully.
“I’d like to keep him overnight, just to be sure. That wound was pretty…dirty…the nurse said was…sticky…like…”He paused and then began to ask, “What in the world were…” As he spoke, it suddenly dawned on him what had probably happened and an embarrassed smile spread across his face at the same time as one spread across hers. He said, “Never mind, I don’t need to know. Just…do me a favor and try to keep the wound…clean from now on, okay?”
She had glanced down toward the bed sheets to avoid his gaze and said, almost mumbling the response, “Yes, we uh… we will, thank you.”
An hour later, John seemed to be stirring, the fever decreasing slightly. “Doc?” he asked, knowing she had to be nearby. “Doc..what happened, where am I?”
He was pretty confused with everything having happened so fast, and he couldn’t remember much.
She gave his hand a squeeze ad said, “Oh, hi sweety, it’s good to see that you’re waking up. John, you’re in the hospital. You developed a nasty infection around the gunshot wound and it started to spread throughout your body. It was very serious, but the antibiotics are working and you’re going to be just fine.”
“Woah, things sure do change fast, don’t they?” One minute we’re making love and shooting whipped cream at each other and then next I wind up here?”
Breathing a sigh of relief as he talked to her, she said, “Yes, it’s been a pretty scary time and I’m so glad to have you back. How do you feel?”
It took him a minute to decide, “Uh… wiped out and my shoulder’s kinda sore, but otherwise I think I’m doing okay. He struggled to sit up and then asked, “So, when are they going to spring me from this joint, Doc?”
Than man never ceased to amaze her. “John, you are incredible, you have a serious medical problem and you’re ready to just get up and walk out the door in the first second after you open your eyes.”
“Well, Marlena, we are on our honeymoon, here and I wasn’t exactly planning on spending it in a hospital room, were you?” he said, to justify his request.
“Well, no…but your health is the most important issue here, John. I shouldn’t have ignored the symptoms I saw this morning. It almost cost you your life. The infection is serious, honey. We got you here just in time and the doctor wants to keep you overnight for observation, to make sure the antibiotics continue to work.”
He leaned back in the bed, resigned to his fate. She had that look in her eyes, the one that told him further argument would be useless. “Oh, well… I guess I’ll say then, but I don’t have to like it.”
“I don’t either, but we can try to make the best of it. I’ll go and get us some food, how’s that?” she said, trying to cheer him up.
“Sounds good, Doc, I am kind of hungry now that you mention it. Could you do me one favor though?”
“Anything for you, husband.”
He grinned upon hearing say the word, “Oh yea… I’m a husband now, I kind of like that. Okay then, wife… could you get some food from outside the hospital? That cafeteria stuff is… awful” He made a face and she smiled.
Marlena nodded and said, “You’re right about that. Okay, give me a little while and I’ll be back with something. I need to check on what restaurants are nearby.”
Thanks Marlena, I appreciate it.”
“I’m glad you asked. I didn’t really want to eat hospital food either. I’ll see you soon, honey, you just rest and I’ll be back before you know it.” Marlena leaned in to give him quick kiss and he pulled her close for a more meaningful one. “Oooh, John!” she said, surprised by his sudden move and the fact that he had the strength or presence of mind for it.
As they ended the embrace, he smiled broadly and said, “I just had to give you something to remind you of what you’ll be missing while you’re away from me, Doc. Did I do a good job?” He winked seductively at her.
Marlena stared into his twinkling blue eyes an chuckled at his seeming unquenchable desire for her and said, ”Umm.. hmm. you always leave me wanting more, John. Your ability to focus on this part of our relationship, even when you’re hurt… simply amazes me, honey.”
He smiled again and ran the fingers of his left hand through her hair as he gazed deeply into her loving eyes. “Good, I plan to keep on doing that for… days, weeks, months, and years to come. I have a one track mind where you’re concerned, Mrs. Black.”
She winded with the same level of seductiveness and said, “And I’m not complaining Mr. Black. I’ll see you really soon and maybe we can pick up where we left off.” She suddenly danced out of his grasp and said with enthusiasm, “I’ll be back soon, John… very soon!”
John chuckled and leaned back in the bed to wait for her return. Before she was even all the way out the door, he was asleep again and Marlena smiled as she glanced back to see the contented expression on his face. She slowly padded over to the bed and kissed him on the cheek, saying as she prepared to leave the room, “Oh, I’m so glad to know you’re going to be alright, now.”
Just as she stepped out the doorway into the hall, she saw Dr. Tim Edwards again, and he seemed to be staring right at her, but she decided that she was imagining things. As she approached him, he was focused more on the chart in front of him “Tim..excuse me, but I was wondering if you know of some fast food restaurants nearby where I might pick something up for John and I to eat.”
The man chuckled and said, “So the hospital food doesn’t quite cut it for you huh ? Well, I don’t blame you. To answer your question, yes there are several places fairly close by, but to explain how to get there is difficult. How about if I.. take you?” he asked, politely.
She was hesitant, she didn’t know him. He seemed nice enough, but still. There was a slight edge to him and she was concerned enough to try and refuse. “No, you’re on duty here and I don’t want to impose, just draw ma a little map and I’ll be fine.”
Tim shook his head and said, “Oh, no.. don’t be silly. You’re not imposing and I’m due for a meal break anyway. Around here, goodwill it’s in everybody’s job description. Please let me show you.”
Feeling like it would be rude to refuse at this point, Marlena said, “Oh, alright, I suppose it would be okay, let’s go.” She turned back toward John’s room, wondering whether she should tell John what she was doing, just in case, and then she shook it off. Thinking to herself, she said, ‘Come on Marlena, John needs to rest, this is a nice young doctor, the people around here all know him, there is absolutely nothing to be concerned about.’ Her gut told her otherwise, but she ignored it, thinking that her experiences with Stefano and Kristen, and John’s paranoia had unduly influenced her sense of trust in people, for the worse. Within five minutes, she was in a car with at total stranger, driving to an unknown destination. If she were wrong, John would have no idea where she went and no way of finding her.
John woke up feeling groggy from the medication, not quite sure where he was. Looking around the room, he realized he was in the hospital and it all started coming back. He had developed some sort of infection around the bullet wound and it started to spread. He looked at his watch and remembered that Marlena had gone to get food, he was really hungry and it had been over an hour since she left. A mild sense of fear began to set in; it couldn’t take that long to find a fast food restaurant. He hit the call button and it was an agonizing wait until the nurse came into the room.
“What can I do for you Mr. Black?” asked the nurse quite pleasantly.
“Have you seen my wife lately?” he asked, trying not to sound concerned, there wasn’t a reason, yet.
She shook her head, saying, “I’m sorry, I just came on shift. What does she look like?” the woman asked, thinking she might have seen her, but didn’t know who the person was.
He grinned, forgetting how worried he was for a second, thinking of her. “She’s…beautiful, she has golden hair, hazel eyes, she’s about five eight and..very…fit. “
He continued on with the description in a dreamy voice and the nurse smiled in response. Interrupting him, she said, “Don’t tell me, let me guess…you just got married recently.”
John blushed slightly, “Oh, I was getting carried away wasn’t I? I’m sorry…yes we were married yesterday.”
“Well, congratulations…now about seeing her, no I haven’t, but now that I think of it, I heard she went off somewhere with Dr. Edwards, the new ER resident.”
“She left with a stranger?” he asked incredulously.
“Oh, don’t worry, he’s a really nice guy. From what I’ve heard, I think he was going to show her where the restaurants are,” she said encouragingly.
“How far away are those restaurants?” John asked, trying not to sound desperate.
“Oh, about ten minutes or so…depending on which fast food row he went toward.”
“Ten minutes? It’s been well over an hour! I have to go out there and find her, please get me my clothes!”
John sounded desperate now, but the nurse knew he wasn’t in any shape to drive. Besides the medication, which would definitely impair his driving skills, the infection was still enough of a problem that he should remain quiet and in bed through the night. “I’m sorry, Mr. Black, but I can’t do that. You aren’t in any shape to be behind the wheel of a car right now, you’re sick and you were given a tranquilizer only an hour or so ago and it wasn’t a mild one.”
John’s fear was rising swiftly and he climbed out of the bed with some difficulty and started hunting around the room for his clothes. Laboring to stay calm and not take out his fear on the nurse, he said, “Look, I know you’re just trying to do your job here, but there is no way I am going to just sit in that bed and hope she comes back soon. I’m leaving here and if I have to, I’ll walk out of this room wearing this flimsy hospital gown you’ve got me in, so are you going to help me out or not?”
Seeing his fierce determination, she went to the closet and retrieved his clothes. She proceeded to assist him in dressing, helping him steady himself when an apparent wave of dizziness hit. “You are one…determined man,” she concluded.
He nodded, “There’s nothing I won’t do where the safety of the woman I love is concerned. Thank you for helping me,” he said as he attempted to finish tying his hiking shoes. He couldn’t accomplish it without great difficulty and significant pain because of the newly immobilized right shoulder and arm. The nurse took pity on him, walking over and indicating she wanted to help. John swallowed his pride and moved his hands, letting her tie the laces for him.
Smiling admiringly at him she said, “She’s a lucky woman…..I’m sure she’ll be just fine, I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for why they’re not back yet. There has been nothing suspicious about Dr. Edwards since he came here a month or so ago.”
“Well, that may be, but I’ve been through too much to let this go and hope for the best, I’m going out to look for her. Thanks again, nurse.” John headed straight for the rented Jeep and off he went with very little plan in mind. Everything that had happened with Stefano and Kristen came to mind and his often-overwhelming fear for her safety threatened to control his emotions and cloud his thinking. He drove out of the hospital lot in a state of nearly blind panic.
Several miles away, Marlena was sitting on the guardrail watching young doctor Tim Edwards change a flat tire. He had run over some nails in the parking lot of one the restaurants, that was being remodeled. She recalled their conversation with a smile on her face. “Don’t worry, this is a great shortcut, I’ve been through here a dozen times, never had a problem with glass or nails.” He was young and cocky; he reminded her of a man she had met years ago… when he was young and cocky too.
She sat shaking her head and said teasingly, “Great shortcut there, Tim.”
He turned to her and grinned sheepishly, “Yea…great shortcut…. you’re having fun watching me slave over this thing, aren’t you? Changing tires isn’t exactly my specialty, you know.”
She laughed. “Well, you should have thought about that before you went through that construction zone, doctor!”
Her laugh was glorious, and her eyes danced when she smiled. Tim was extremely attracted to her and realized he was glad about the flat tire, but he couldn’t make a move on her, it would be wrong. That behavior was what had gotten him in trouble before; no, he had to control himself, he couldn’t jeopardize his whole future because of his overactive libido. “Yea, you’re right, I should have. I guess I’m a little…headstrong sometimes.”
She nodded and agreed with his assessment of himself. “Mmm hmm, I know someone else like that. It gets him in trouble occasionally, but he’s learned to temper it over the years.”
“John?” he asked, recognizing that she was referring to his patient and her husband.
Smiling on the memories that were so fresh in her mind because of the location, “Yes, John. When I first met him, we…. clashed a lot, he was young and…brash…cocky.”
Still working on the lug nuts, he said, “Oh, so you’re saying I remind you of him? I guess since you married the guy, I should take that as a compliment.”
“It is a compliment, Tim. I like those qualities, to a point.” Slightly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation, she stood up and asked, “Well, are you finished? John will probably be waking up soon and he’ll be worried about me. We need to get back to the hospital as soon as possible.”
Hating to end their time together, he reluctantly stood as well and then said, “Yes, I’m all through, we should back there in a few minutes.” He stood there, looking like a grease monkey and she started laughing at his appearance.
“Oh, so you think this is funny do you?” he asked as he surveyed his grease stained clothing. Then he approached her slowly and touched her nose with a greasy finger.
She stifled her reaction, “No, no I don’t think it’s funny at all.” Then she couldn’t help it, a giggle escaped her lips and he started to laugh as well, after glancing at his face in one of the cars mirrors. They shared a good laugh and then he wiped his hands and face, put a towel down on the seat and beckoned her to climb into the sports car for the trip back to the hospital, with their now very cold fast food. He handed her a tissue to wipe the spot off the end of her nose and their eyes met briefly, then glanced away, somewhat awkwardly.
Tim had never wanted anyone more than he wanted this woman in this moment. He literally had to force himself to look away from her and concentrate on starting the car, then he stared intently out the windshield to focus on the road. After all the problems it caused him before, Tim had vowed not to let it control him ever again and he labored to squelch the rising desire he felt for her, the overpowering need to take her. He said in his mind, ‘No, Tim you have to control yourself, you can’t do this!’ as he imagined being with her. ‘She’s newly married, she doesn’t want you, and if you…force her, it’s rape.’
Marlena sensed his reaction and questioned whether she had been sending him the wrong signals. She searched herself and knew she had not said or done anything to encourage him to believe something sexual would happen between them. They had simply been casually flirting on a purely social basis, not romantic or sexual. She was frightened when she realized that it was completely one-sided and she was at his mercy, if he decided to act on his physical reaction to her regardless of her wishes, she would have no way of getting help. ‘Oh, God, please let me be wrong about what he’s going to do, please just get me back to John safely,’ she prayed silently as she stared out the window.
John had barely stopped long enough to get a description of Dr. Edwards car when he left, let alone a good sense of where the restaurants were. So, he drove somewhat aimlessly for a short period of time before stopping at a gas station to ask where the fast food rows were. Within the hour, he had cruised up and down each one, the first of which he was already in the midst of when he stopped. After searching each area thoroughly and not seeing the red sports car described by the hospital security guard manning the gate, he headed worriedly back toward the hospital, hoping their paths had simply crossed somehow. Fearful adrenaline was coursing through his veins as he said out loud, “Oh, Marlena, please be alright, I couldn’t take it if anything happened to you now. Please God, let her be okay!” he prayed anxiously. “I’ll do anything you ask, if you just keep her safe for me!”
John was back at the hospital, sitting in the rented Jeep looking for the doctor’s car and when he didn’t see it immediately, true fear began to set in. The security guard said he had just come on shift and hadn’t seen the doctor’s car since he reported in for work at the booth, not quite an hour earlier. John searched the entire parking lot and hadn’t located them anywhere and was really starting to worry. If something simple like a car breakdown occurred, the doctor surely would have called in by now, wouldn’t he? ‘Of course, that has to be it, I better go on in and see if he’s checked in yet’ he determined.
After parking again, John walked hurriedly into the ER of the hospital, his eyes roving all around the area. He approached the clerk and asked rather intensely, “Has Dr. Edwards called in to say why he isn’t in yet?”
The clerk rifled through the messages and found nothing, “I’m sorry sir, he hasn’t, may I help you in some way?” she asked pleasantly.
John was too upset to be calm anymore and said rather loudly, disrupting the waiting area, “Not unless you can tell me where he’s got my wife and why he hasn’t brought her back yet!”
A female doctor approached him rapidly, hoping to calm him enough to not alarm the patients and families within earshot. “Hello, I’m Dr. Brooks, the attending physician, could you tell my why you’re so upset, Mr…..”
“Black, John Black. I’m a….patient here, or I was…Oh, that doesn’t matter, my wife went to get some food at local restaurant and apparently Dr. Edwards planned to show her where they were. That was over two hours ago now and I’m….very worried. I drove to all the areas where there are fast food places and his car wasn’t anywhere to be found, and now your clerk tells me he hasn’t checked in.”
Trying to calm him further, she said, “Well, I can see why you’re concerned, but I’m sure there is a perfectly logical reason why they aren’t back yet.” Then, noticing that the man’s face had become flushed and he appeared to be slightly dizzy, she said as she put a hand on his forearm, “Mr. Black, you look very tired, why don’t I help you back to your room, so you can rest for a few minutes and I’ll see what I can do to locate Dr. Edwards and your wife?”
Denying any problems he knew she was observing, John pulled his arm away and said, firmly with volume, “No, I don’t care about getting any rest, my wife is missing and I want her found! She disappeared with one of your doctors and you damn well better help me locate him. If anything happens to her I’ll….” He stopped, realizing he was going to alienate her, “well you get the picture, now please, help me find them!”
Dr. Brooks forced down her instinctively defensive reaction to his angry, accusatory tone and replied calmly, “Mr. Black there is no need for even a veiled threat, I will be glad to help in any way I can. Let’s alert security and notify the police to be on the lookout for Dr. Edwards car. That should be a good start. In the mean time, I will also try his cell phone and his beeper. We’ll find them, sir.”
Glad for the active response to his concern, he softened, “Thank you, Dr. I’m…sorry I got angry with you, I know you had nothing to do with what’s happened. My….wife and I..well, let’s just say that we have had more than a few…unwanted separations and I get….a little bent out of shape when I can’t locate her quickly and know for sure that she is alright.” He offered her his left hand to shake and said, “It’s nice to meet you, call me John.”
She shook his hand firmly and said, “It’s nice to meet you too, John.” Now, let’s get a move on finding your wife. I’ll go make the calls to the beeper and cell phone and you can alert security and the police, just go over to the desk there and the clerk will help you. I’ll be back soon to check on you.”
“Great, thanks again…doctor, ” he said. As he turned toward the desk, the stress and the still present infection suddenly combined to overload his system and he wavered and began to collapse, when she was a few steps away. John groaned as the pain in his right shoulder flared, his eyes rolled back in his head and he found himself going down before he fully realized what was happening. She heard the sound he made and ran toward him, but was too far away to catch the quickly falling body; he landed hard on the tile floor and was out cold.
“Get me a gurney, stat!” she shouted and nurses came running. One of them was the nurse who had tried to stop him from leaving earlier. “Darn, I told him not to leave here, that his infection was still a problem, but he was too stubborn to listen,” she said as she an orderly lifted him onto the gurney. “He had a gunshot wound to the right shoulder that got infected, doctor.”
“No, he was worried about his wife, and rightfully so,” argued the doctor as she checked his pupils, examined the wound and assessed the status of the infection and the new head injury. After briefly reviewing the chart handed to her by one of the nurses, she said, “Let’s get him back to the room, hook up the IV antibiotics and non-steroidals again and hope for the best. Oh, but I want him to go down for a CT first so I can get a better look at that bump he just got.” Unbelievably, he landed on his right side and hit near the same spot as the previous head injury.
“Yes, doctor..right away.”
After signing the orders, she told the nurse, “I promised I would help him locate his wife, so I’m going to do that and then I’ll be right down. Page me if there’s any significant change.” She looked down at the man, taking a moment to admire his good looks and his obviously fierce determination to keep the woman he loved safe from harm. ‘I wish there were someone like you out there for me, John Black. Someday…Jackie… someday,’ she told herself as she turned to go. The doctor left and went to do what she’d promised, hoping she had good news by the time he came back around. Smiling on the memory of his intensity, she said to herself, “Maybe it’s a good thing you’re out of commission right now, all you would do is worry and drive everyone around here a little bit crazy,” as she walked quickly down the hall toward her office.
Several miles away, Tim Edwards and Marlena rode in Tim’s car, which was taking the scenic route back to the hospital. It was a circuitous road and took much longer than the one John drove on. Tim was doing battle with himself, his body wanting to have Marlena, his mind telling him he couldn’t act on his desires. ‘Stop it, Tim! You have to take her back to the hospital, back to her husband, you can’t get yourself into trouble again!’ he told himself forcefully. He couldn’t resist staring at her beauty. She was wearing a white oxford shirt and a pair of blue jeans, her hair was up with a few loose strands hanging down near her face. She was stunningly beautiful even with such simple clothing and no make-up. After looking at her as long as he could without being too obvious, he redirected his attention toward the road.
Marlena knew he had taken a longer route than necessary to return to the hospital, but she didn’t say anything. She could tell he was debating with himself and all she could do was pray. ‘Oh God…please let him make the right choice!’ All of sudden, she decided to take a chance and said pleasantly, but clearly intending to convince him to do what she wanted, “I sure hope we get back to the hospital soon or John’s going to have the FBI, the highway patrol, every local policeman and anyone else he can find out looking for me. He gets….a little upset when he can’t find me quickly.”
Catching her drift, Tim made a quick decision, “I’m sorry, I took the longer route to give you the view, sorry about that.. I’ll pick up the speed a little bit and we’ll be there very soon, okay?” he asked, hoping to reassure her.
She breathed a sigh of relief as she looked at him and sensed the change in his demeanor. “Thank you, Tim. I appreciate that and so will John, believe me.”
Stepping on the gas pedal, he said apologetically, “You’re welcome, forgive me for taking so long to get you a little fast food, it was not…my intention. I hope I didn’t upset you too much.”
“No, not at all,” she said smiling falsely. She had been frightened and couldn’t wait until they got back to the hospital parking lot. He didn’t lie though, after fifteen awkwardly silent minutes they were rounding the corner and she could see the building a few hundred yards ahead of her. ‘Whew…that was a close call,’ she said in her mind. ‘Don’t ever do that again, Marlena!’ she admonished herself, hearing John’s firm yet fearful voice saying the same words. ‘Oh, John you are so right….I won’t!’
The sun was now all the way down, the darkness covering the rolling hills with cool caressing breezes, giving blessed relief from the heat of a summer’s day. Marlena felt relieved herself, when they reached the hospital parking lot and turned in to a parking spot, but it was about a different type of heat altogether. As the car rolled slowly to a stop, she moved hastily to unbuckle the seatbelt, feeling very ready to see her husband, but she felt a hand on her forearm. Still somewhat nervous, she stared at the owner of that hand, only slightly hiding her anxiety.
“Marlena, wait..I..want to talk with you for a minute, if that’s okay,” said Tim hesitantly. Observing her nervousness, he quickly removed his hand.
“I really do need to get in there to see John, he’s probably worried out of his mind by now,” she said finishing with the buckle and placing a hand on the door handle, not looking at the man.
“Please, it’s…important. I know that I…made you uncomfortable back there and I’m…sorry. I..have this problem that I’ve been working on for a few years now and I…apologize if I scared you in any way. I didn’t mean to do that, I wouldn’t have….hurt you.”
She sighed and finally turned her head toward him and said, “Tim, I accept your apology, but please if you haven’t been in….counseling since you moved here, seek someone out, it will help you. I could do some checking and help you find a good therapist, if you’d like.”
“You would do that for me?” he asked, even more amazed by the woman’s strength and class.
“Yes, I would. Thank you for admitting to having a problem, that is so important for true healing to take place, Tim.”
“Dr. Marlena Evans you are an absolutely amazing person. Yes, I would like your help. I…have one more question for you….are you going to…tell your husband about any of this? I’m..a little nervous about what he might do, from the way you described his…fierce protectiveness.”
She debated with herself, John would hate the idea of her keeping something like this from him, but the man hadn’t really done anything and was remorseful for even making her feel uncomfortable. “Okay, Tim I won’t tell him, but if I get the slightest feeling that you…might…try something….I’ll have to, fair enough?”
He nodded, “Fair enough,” he said offering his hand for her to shake. She took his hand and shook it firmly and even found herself smiling at him. How strange it all was and she wondered if she had imagined the signals she was picking up from him earlier, the ones that made her fear he would force himself on her. The two of them got out of the car and walked quickly into the hospital. Marlena went straight for John’s room, while the doctor explained what had happened with his car and began to update himself on all the cases. He was slightly pleased that John Black was unconscious with a fairly serious concussion suffered when he collapsed a short time earlier after having gone out searching for his wife. “Whew, that was a close one,” he said under his breath as he read the chart.
Marlena was alarmed the minute she saw John, there was a new wound, his head was re-bandaged and he was out cold. “John…honey.. are you alright?” she asked him, gently shaking him to rouse him from slumber. She was unsuccessful in her attempts and went straight to the nurse’s station to find out what was going on. “What happened to my husband? How did he get that head injury?” she asked anxiously.
“Mrs. Black, could you try to calm down, we will explain it to you if you can relax and listen. Can you do that?”
Forcing the anxiety down, she said, “Yes, I can do that. Now, please tell me what happened.”
Within moments, Dr. Brooks, who helped John earlier approached and answered the distressed woman’s inquiry. “Mrs. Black, I’m doctor Brooks and I can help you. I was here earlier. Your husband left the hospital, against medical advice to search for you, and when he couldn’t find you, he came back here very distraught about what might have happened to you. I could see that the infection was still affecting him and encouraged him to get some rest, but he wouldn’t hear of it when he couldn’t locate you. He…collapsed when I was standing a few feet away and I couldn’t catch him before he hit the floor. He hit his head and has a fairly serious concussion, I’m sorry, he’s been unconscious most of the time since then, the infection flared up again as well, while he was off the antibiotics. Periodically, he seems about to come out of it, calling out for someone named Doc and then he fades back out again.”
She nodded to the doctor and then went back in to sit down with John and talked to him. Taking his warm hand in her cool ones, she asked with fear in her voice, “Oh, John…why didn’t you stay put?” Then she chastised herself, “No, Marlena why didn’t you say no to Dr. Edwards? Oh, what a mess!” She bowed her head to weep for the entire situation–the infection that had gotten so out of control, her decision to go off with a stranger, John’s fear that compelled him to look for her and resulted in this new injury. “Oh, dear God please take care of him, let him be alright so that we can get back to our honeymoon. Please let us have a few days free from fear and pain!”
She felt him squeeze her hand and he struggled to speak to her, whispering, “Oh, Doc…don’t cry it’s going to be okay…don’t worry.”
Marlena jumped at the sound, “John, honey…are you okay?”
“Yea…I think so, why wouldn’t I be?” he said, not remembering anything that had happened in the past several hours. Working to sit up, he said, “So, did you bring the food, Doc I’m starved.”
He doesn’t remember any of it, no need to upset him now. “Well, I…did, but it’s cold because you were sleeping so soundly when I got back and I didn’t want to wake you,” she said, hoping he didn’t figure it out right away. The stress wasn’t good for him.
As he labored to reach a sitting position, he felt the pain again, in his head and his arm as well. “Oh…what…happened?” he asked rubbing the swollen shoulder, then putting a hand to his head injury. Feeling the new bandage there he said, “I was feeling better when you left, what’s going on, Doc? How did I get this new…bump on the head, Oh…” Dizziness overtook him and he slumped back on the bed before he could hear her answer, almost unconscious again. Thinking he was going to fade out again, she didn’t answer him.
Anxiously, he asked again. “Doc, answer me, what happened?”
“Oh, honey it’s a very long story…” she started to say.
Gesturing to his surroundings, he said, “Uh, Marlena in case you haven’t noticed…I’m not going anywhere for the time being, so there’s plenty of time for long stories, tell me.”
Breathing out a long breath, she said, “Okay, John…you asked for it. You woke up earlier and you were hungry so I said I’d go get some food and I went to ask Dr. Edwards for help in finding a restaurant. I was planning to go alone, but he offered to show me and I was hesitant, but I accepted, so off we went in his car.”
It was starting to come back to him, “You went off with a stranger.. Doc… Oh, yea, now I’m starting to remember. I..came around and you weren’t back yet. I was….worried so I went looking for you, but couldn’t find you. Then what?”
“Well, he tried this short cut through a parking lot of another restaurant that was being remodeled and he must have run over glass and or nails because on the way back we got a flat tire which he changed himself. Actually, that part was rather entertaining for me.”
“Why didn’t he call in then? I was scared to death for you, Doc!”
She knew he would have questions, ‘Oh what am I going to tell him, Tim didn’t do anything, but…still, shouldn’t John know? “Well, his cell phone battery was dead for one thing and..” No, I can’t tell him…he won’t understand, heck I don’t really understand or know what to say about it. “We took the scenic route back and it took longer than he thought it would, that’s it. We got back and I found out you had a fall while I was gone.”
John was quite upset with her calm, non-apologetic demeanor. “Didn’t you think I’d be worried if I couldn’t find you, Doc?” His voice trembled slightly as he brushed her cheek with the bent fingers of his left hand, saying, “You know….. how it…upsets me when I can’t find you, when I don’t..know if you’re safe. I was out of my mind with worry for you, Marlena. Please don’t do that ever again. I was ready to call out the FBI to search for you.
“Funny, I was just telling Tim that same thing before we finally arrived here,” she said with a strange expression on her face that made him wonder if something else had happened.
“Marlena, there’s something you’re not telling me isn’t there? That’s the reason you didn’t want to go over the whole story isn’t it?”
“Oh, no honey, it’s just a strange coincidence that we thought the same thing like that,” she said as she stood casually, trying to downplay the whole incident.
He was becoming irritated with her. Sitting up again, he countered, “No, it isn’t Doc, you’re hiding something and I want to know what it is!” wincing as his own raised voice made his head throb with pain.
“All right, John I wasn’t going to say anything and you have to promise me you won’t go off half-cocked as soon as I do. Promise me John,” she said as she saw his resistance in his body language.
“Okay, I promise, now tell me already!”
“Well, Tim and I were talking and joking and it was comfortable, you know on a social level, but as we got back in the car to come back here, he…stared a little too long and I was…uncomfortable. It happened a few times on the ride home and I thought maybe he….”
Sensing her unspoken meaning, John asked accusingly, “Did he touch you?” Sitting up straight, he put one leg down as if preparing to stand. Marlena put a hand on that thigh, to calm his angry reaction.
“No, John, he didn’t do anything, it was just the way he was looking at me that made me…nervous. I thought he wanted something and then at some point I said that you would really worry and send out the FBI, the highway patrol, the local police, etc. and I could see the change in him. He took me straight back here and didn’t look at me the same way again.”
John couldn’t quite contain the fear that news engendered, “My God, Marlena, he could have…” The muscles in his jaw tightened as he said threateningly, “If he even comes near you again, I swear I’ll…. In fact I’m going to go talk to him right now!”
Again, she put a hand on him, to stop him, “No, please don’t go and confront him about it. He admitted to having some problems and he is going to see a therapist. I told him I’d do some checking and help him find a good one.”
Fear and anger joined powerfully as John spouted off at her, “Oh, great he scares the hell out of you and me, by keeping you away from here, making you think he could…and you’re going to help him.. Marlena, you need to stay away from this guy! I don’t want him for a doctor, I don’t want him near this room or within 20 yards of you again! I’m going to do something about it right now!” Holding onto the bed to steady himself, John did make it to a standing position as the adrenaline surged.
He was threatening to take control and she had taken enough of that male tendency for the moment. She stood in front of him to block his path to the door, then was as firm as she could be, “NO! you won’t! I am going to handle this, John. I am a psychiatrist, helping people like him is what I do and you will have to deal with that if you want to be married to me!”
“Doc! How can you say that to me? I have a right to be worried when something like this happens, especially after everything that went down with Stefano and Kristen, don’t I?” he asked incredulously.
She softened a little, thinking how it must have felt from his end, “Yes, you do, but you also need to trust my clinical judgment, John. I have seen literally thousands of clients and I am good at this, so I will help Tim find someone locally who can deal with his problems and I will be cautious from now on when I am around him, okay?”
Seeing that she was not about to back down, reluctantly, he sat back down on the bed and said more calmly, “Alright, but if he even comes close to touching you, you better tell me, and please….don’t go off in a car with a stranger again! I about had a heart attack worrying about you, Marlena.”
“I promise you, John I won’t do it again, I learned my lesson.”
“Whew..” he sighed, the exhaustion threatening to take over. “That was all a little more than I bargained for on our first full day of marriage, Doc. Please come here would you, wife?” Sitting on the edge of the bed, John wrapped his left arm around her and laid his head on her shoulder, feeling emotionally drained.
She laughed nervously, feeling the stress begin to catch up with her as well. “Who would have thought we’d have this much excitement, other than the bedroom kind?”
“At this rate, I’ll gladly settle for several days straight of doing nothing but staring into your amazing eyes and getting as close as possible to that incredibly sexy body of yours, how’s that sound to you, Mrs. Black?”
Marlena sighed in response and turned to look at him, “As soon as you’re well enough to leave here, I say that sounds like a perfect idea, husband of mine.”
“How about now?” he said while winking at her seductively, wishing he really had the energy for lovemaking.
As he expected, she turned him down, “Sorry, John you hit your head in nearly the same spot where Stefano hit you with that gun, it only makes sense for you to stay here in the hospital overnight, it could develop into a problem. Besides that, you set yourself back by being off the antibiotics for a couple of hours. “
John leaned back heavily in the bed, wishing it all away. “Darnit all, Doc I am so sick of hospitals!” he said exasperatedly.
“Me too, honey. But, this time, I plan on spending the night with you, right there in that bed, if it’s okay with you, that is.”
John pretended to hesitate, “Hmm, let me see… are you kidding? YES! Get in here, baby!” he said enthusiastically, as he pulled back the covers for her and scooted over to make room. Marlena found a do not disturb sign and put it on the door, pulled the curtain around the bed and then climbed in carefully so as not to hurt John’s shoulder.
“Ahhh, that’s much better,” said John as she nestled down next to his warm body. “I love you Doc,” he said tenderly.
“Mmm, yes this feels pretty nice, I love you too, John.” They snuggled up close for the night, John wanted to make love, but the infection, the head injury and the medications he was on made him too groggy and he fell asleep soon after Marlena joined him. That was okay with her; she was perfectly content to lie next to him, safe and warm at last. It had been quite a day and she was exhausted herself. Within an hour John and Marlena were sound asleep in each other’s arms and the nurses made sure the newlyweds were not disturbed for the entire night.
The couple slept soundly that night, comfortable and warm in the bed together, even though it was small and there wasn’t enough room to even turn over easily. Marlena awakened to the sound of voices quietly whispering and giggling. “Isn’t that sweet?” “Just look at them all snuggled up together, I heard they’re newlyweds.” “Yes, she wouldn’t leave his side last night.” Her eyes fluttered open and she glanced over in the direction of the sounds. It was a small group of nurses and they smiled warmly at her and then stepped back out of the room and made sure that the do not disturb sign was still in place, so as not to wake their patient, whom they thought needed the rest. Marlena felt her face flush as she made eye contact with the nurses and giggled a little bit herself when she saw John’s face. He had that dreamy lovesick grin on his face, the one he got when he was dreaming of them together. She ran her fingertips through his hair and then down his cheek and he responded with a soft moan and another smile, “Mmmm, Doc…..I love you too,” he said out loud to her in the dream.
“Oh, my love…. I am so glad to wake up with you and see that smile on your face from dreaming of me. It’s you and me together in love for the rest of our lives. It took us so long to realize we belonged together, John, but we finally did.” Marlena was going to wake him and then decided to let him keep dreaming, obviously it was pleasurable for him and he did need to rest in order to beat the infection. As quietly and with as little jarring as possible she managed to climb down out of the hospital bed and sit in the chair next to him. It was still early, around 6:30Am and so the corridors of the hospital were fairly peaceful. She watched him awhile longer and then went to the restroom to freshen up a bit. After using the facilities and washing up, she was ready to sit down and read a magazine or something and went toward the door on her way to ask if there were any available. Suddenly, John started to wake up, he seemed anxious, his left hand feeling all over the bed, searching for her. “Doc? Doc…where are you?” he cried out while laboring to sit up in bed and clear his slightly blurry eyes, his head and right shoulder still aching significantly.
She approached the bed quickly, reassuring him as she did, “Honey…woah…it’s okay, I’m right here, I’m right here with you.”
His breathing was rapid and shallow, he was worried the instant he realized she wasn’t in bed with him. Who could blame him after what had happened the night before. “Ohh….whew…you had me..scared there for a minute when you weren’t in bed next to me.”
She gave him a quick hug and said, “John, you have to try to relax a little, we aren’t going to be joined at the hip you know..”
“We are too, we’re newlyweds for a whole year and we can be joined at the hips…anytime we want to and I always want to, Doc!” John said with a wide mischievous grin on his face.
She shook her head and sighed with a mixture of admiration and exasperation. “Oh, John what am I going to do with you?”
“Well, come a little closer and I’ll show you, baby,” he teased some more. “I have a lot to tell you about what you can do to me….wife and it’s all a lot of fun for both of us,” he said seductively.
Wagging a finger at him, she said, “John, you are..insatiable and incorrigible at the same time. You really need to take it easy you know.”
He loved this teasing banter that had been sorely lacking because of all the recent tension. “But in a good way, right Doc?” he said as he winked at her.
After shaking her head while smiling again and then kissing him with passion, she said, “Yes, in a good way, John.” The couple proceeded to spend a little more time doing some horizontal bonding. John kissed her powerfully and she moaned with desire for him. Despite his aching, immobilized right shoulder and his headache, John managed to take control of the love session and she found herself under his spell quite quickly as he took her breath away time and again. Soon she felt the heated rush of her need for him and the ragged breathing and sweat beads that appeared on his chest indicated he was approaching the same state of being.
“Oh, Doc…I want you,” he said.
“I want you too, John……oh, honey!” she exclaimed as her desire threatened to take over for all conscious thought. Within a few more minutes they had taken each other to the pleasure zone and back and they lay quietly in the afterglow of lovemaking, the sense of intimacy growing as each day passed. They startled to a knock on the door, as they had dozed back off after making love.
It was Dr. Jackie Brooks and Dr. Tim Edwards, both of whom wanted to check in on the patient they had treated the night before. Tim was hesitant to come face to face with the couple, but he couldn’t avoid it without seeming suspicious to his boss. Wondering whether Marlena had said anything to her husband, he reluctantly agreed to accompany the attending physician to the room to examine his patient. John sat up quickly in bed and his whole body tensed the instant he saw Tim Edwards. Putting a protective arm around his wife, he glared at the man as if to say, ‘You better not even think of touching her.’ The man got the unspoken message and stayed way across the room from them, letting his colleague do the talking and take the lead role in examining John’s injuries. Within moments he was paged and had to leave the room to take an emergency patient and he couldn’t have been happier about it. Tim held his beeper up to indicate he had to leave and was acknowledged by Dr. Brooks, who then proceeded to handle the situation.
“Good morning you two, did you sleep well? ” asked Jackie Brooks, with a knowing smile on her face.
Both of them blushed enough to be cute and Marlena said cheerfully, “Yes, we did, thank you, doctor. A double bed would have been nice, but it was…cozy, right John?”
“Uh..right, Doc,” he said shyly, his head cocked slightly to the side. Changing the subject as he looked up at the woman, he asked the only question on his mind. “So, doctor when are you going to spring me from this joint?” he asked, hoping she would release him soon.
“Well, John that depends on how that infection and your head injury are doing. How are you feeling?” asked Dr, Brooks as she gestured to him to remove the hospital gown from his shoulders. “Could you lie down a minute and let me take a look at that shoulder?”
“I’m okay…ready to get out of here,” said John as he complied, quickly shedding the gown and lying down. As she probed all around the bullet wound, John attempted to ignore the pain, but the grimace on his face indicated it was quite painful. “Still pretty tender?” she asked pleasantly.
“Yea…I guess so,” he admitted reluctantly, not wanting to give them any reason to keep him hospitalized. “So…doctor, do you think I can leave here today?” he asked hopefully.
The wound was still slightly red, but the swelling was down and the infection seemed to be fairly well under control with the antibiotics. He could probably switch to oral medication now. “Well, let me take a look at the bump on your head again and then we’ll talk about that, alright? Sit up for me please and face directly toward me.”
He sighed and did as he was asked to do, realizing as he did so that the shoulder was quite sore, much more than he thought. With a little help from Marlena, he slowly brought himself back to a sitting position, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Dr. Brooks observed the man closely; he was attempting to hide his discomfort, but was unsuccessful. “Okay now, let’s take a peek under that bandage, she said as she took the tape off and then the guaze pads that covered the head injury. Again, she probed all around with her fingers and this time John emitted a groan. “That smarts doesn’t it, it looks like you’ve hit that same spot several times; there is quite a bit of swelling. How long ago was the first injury?”
Marlena was amazed that it had been such a short time, when he said, “Five days ago, I was….hit from behind with the butt of a gun.”
Marlena added, “Then he landed on the spot again the next day when he got dizzy and collapsed after a car accident.”
“A head injury and a car accident the next day, then a gunshot wound the next, that’s a lot to handle isn’t it?” She wanted to ask for an explanation, but seeing the pained expressions on their faces, she thought better of it. Instead she said, “So, he’s hit his head three times in five days, wow…no wonder it hurts so much and there is so much swelling. She proceeded to have him do a number of tasks which would indicate his neurological status, some focusing tasks, hand-eye coordination exercises, etc. After completing her examination, the doctor shared her conclusions, ” John, I have to inform you that you are at serious risk with this injury. You simply must take it easy or you could end up with some major complications. There may be any number of serious problems if you hit it again, not to mention the shoulder wound and the infection. Can you find a way to stay in one place and rest for a few days, preferrably lying down in bed ?” The instant the question left her lips, she felt her face flush and saw a similarly mild reaction in her patient’s face.
“I…think we can arrange that doctor, ” answered Marlena for her husband with a slightly sensuous smile on her face.
John smiled and gazed deeply into his wife’s dancing eyes, “Uh….yes that won’t be any problem doctor,” he said while staring at Marlena passionately. Tearing his attention away from Marlena for a moment, he looked at the doctor and smiled at her as he said, “In fact, if you discharge me this morning, I’ll make it a point to go straight back to our bed and breakfast with this lovely lady and stay put all day long, probably even for several days in a row.” John reached for Marlena’s hand and waited for the answer.
“Well, then John, you’ve got yourself a deal, I’ll sign the papers right now and you and your bride can get back to your honeymoon,” said the doctor, smiling at their obviously deep and passionate love, feeling slightly envious of the happy couple. After lingering by the door, admiring them for a moment, noticing how very much in love they were, she turned back from the door and said, “Oh, I’ll leave your prescriptions and discharge instructions at the nurse’s station for you. Congratulations and best wishes to you both.”
“Thank you, doctor,” they said simultaneously while still gazing at each other with those dreamy newlywed eyes.
Still in the hospital room, Marlena wanted to help John get dressed, however, he clearly wanted to do it for himself. Unfortunately, the shoulder was just too sore for him to accomplish the task, and he was obviously struggling with it. After several minutes of watching him wincing and working at it unsuccessfully, Marlena finally said something. “Let me help you, John I can see you’re in a lot of pain, it’s okay to accept a little help once in awhile, you know.”
Reluctant to give up, he slowly moved his hands out of the way, so she could button his shirt and said with some irritation, “I know it, Doc, I’m just a little tired of it, that’s all. I’ve spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals lately and I’m getting sick of being…taken care of, so I wanted to at least try.”
She could feel his frustration and decided to take action to make him feel better about it. As she slowly buttoned the shirt, she leaned in close and kissed him on the neck and breathed in his ear. His response told her she was having the desired effect as his breathing quickened. “Well, there…are..some…definite….advantages to being taken care of, John,” she said while kissing him in various spots between her words.
“Oh, yes…I think you’re right, but you better show and tell me some more so I’m sure to be convinced of all the advantages, I wouldn’t want to miss any,” he said with a seductive wink.
Leaning in for a meaningful kiss on the lips, she whispered, “Well, some of them are best when demonstrated in total privacy…say at a bed and breakfast a few miles from here, you know the one, don’t you?”
Playing along, he said, “Uh….yea…is that the Victorian style place with the huge front porch and a big old swing? The one where the honeymoon suite overlooks this beautiful river?” The tension was already fading away with the teasing banter.
Kissing him again, she said, “Umm hmm, that’s the one, John. Would you like me to take you there and demonstrate some more of those advantages?” She finished helping him button his shirt as she also kept up her kisses all over his neck and face. Then she captured his mouth and made her presence felt strongly, sucking tenderly, enticingly on his lower lip, to which he responded powerfully.
“Oh, yea….please do..wife…I can’t wait to get back there and you can *take* advantage of me all you want. Let’s hurry up and get me dressed, okay?” he asked almost pleadingly, as he anticipated resuming their honeymoon lovemaking.
Observing the desire that was behind his eyes, she said pleasantly with a smile and sexy wink, “Now that sounds like the man I married.” Marlena helped him with his pants, socks and shoes and they were ready to go in ten more minutes, both eager to be out of the hospital setting.
As they left, the same group of nurses stood watching them and since they were all single they shared a similar sentiment, “I sure wish I could find a love like that,” said one of them as she followed the couple with her eyes. “Yea….me too, but that’s a once in a lifetime deal, not much chance of it happening for me, with my track record,” said another bitterly. “Umm hmm, they sure do seem to be made for each other,” said the third one. Sighing, she added, “Oh, well we better get back to work…. see you all later.”
As the trio dispersed, there was a fourth person looking toward the exit where John and Marlena had been standing moments before. He found himself feeling almost insanely jealous of the man. He wanted that woman for himself and though he fought off the powerful urges the other night, he wondered if he could stop himself from seeking her out. She was so beautiful, so bright, and witty too. She had all the qualities he wanted in a woman, except that she was taken. That fact made him burn for her all the more. The unavailable woman was what he always wanted; he never really understood it, but every one he ever got seriously involved with was either engaged or married. He had ruined more than a few relationships.
Tim Edwards was a very handsome man; he had blond hair, brilliant blue eyes, was well above average height, and he had a strong muscular build, and a soothing deep voice. He was a consummate flirt and could be immensely charming. All of those qualities made him very attractive to the ladies, and he seemed to have an uncanny ability to read people, to determine their weak points and vulnerabilities. That allowed him to insinuate himself into a woman’s life by finding the unmet need in her relationship and filling it and then he would make his romantic, sexual move. By that time, they were usually under his spell and didn’t resist him. He wondered how he would find the unmet need for Dr. Marlena Evans-Black. The truth is she didn’t seem to have one, maybe he would have to focus on exploiting John’s weakness, his intense love and fierce protectiveness of his wife. It blinded him and could be used to drive a wedge between them, that was certain. Without consciously realizing that he was going back down the wrong path, Dr. Tim Edwards set about learning all he could about John Black, Marlena Evans and the city of Salem.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A short time later, the newly married couple arrived at the bed and breakfast where they had spent only one blissful night before the craziness of their first full day of married life. That was going to change, Marlena planned to keep John in the room with her for most of the next several days, so they could fully consummate the marriage and so he could recover from his series of injuries. As they arrived, John awkwardly unbuckled his seat belt with his left hand and climbed out of the vehicle.
As he did so, he glanced in the direction of the river and got what he thought was a bright idea. “Uh, Doc….what do you say to a little riverside stroll?” he asked with a wink and a smile.
“John…the doctor just said you needed lots of rest, you know, time in the horizontal position?”
“Well, we do have blankets, don’t we?” he asked with another seductive smile, as he walked around to where she stood. Marlena was looking out at the water too and was torn. The newlywed woman wanted to talk a peaceful walk and then spread out on a blanket with the man she loved and make love in the sun, but the concerned wife and physician part told her it wasn’t wise. “John… honey, they’ll be time for all that, but we overdid it by coming on this honeymoon in the first place. We should have stayed in Salem until you recuperated, and because we didn’t I almost lost you. I don’t want to take any more chances with your health, all right?” She had a serious look in her eyes; she had been really rattled by the whole experience.
“Spoilsport,” he said, turning her to him, wanting to cajole her into changing her mind. Seeing her stern expression, he placed his left arm around Marlena at the neck and pulled her close, then kissed her warmly, his lips lingering briefly before he replied to her assertion. He relented with a resigned sigh, while holding her. Recognizing she was right about it, but hating to do it, he said, “Okay, Doc. I can see that you’re serious here and I’ll go along with you for now. Let’s go on up to the room.”
“That’s better, John,” she said, glad he was capitulating for the moment. Then observing his disappointment, she added, “Listen honey, as soon as you’ve rested for a couple of days, then we’ll go exploring again, all right?”
“Yea..I know you’re right about this, Marlena. I can handle a little disappointment.. besides my attitude is already changing.” With a more sensuous expression on his face he said, “There is another kind of exploring I’m interested in right now and it can take place very nicely up in the room, don’t you think?” he asked as he began to kiss her stirringly, his fingers running through her hair, then moving on to her neck and back.
“Ooh, yes…I think the room is the perfect place for going exploring, John, there is so much to see and touch,” Marlena agreed as she began to run her hands underneath his shirt, roving all over his back. She felt the beginnings of a response from John as he pressed his body up against hers. “Ooh, let’s go inside, John.”
“Oh…Doc…yea why don’t we do that?” he concurred, feeling the desire begin to rise. Arm in arm they walked into the Inn, hoping to make it to the room quickly, not wanting to delay gratification any longer.
Within ten minutes, they were playfully undressing each other, kissing, touching and giggling with the pleasure they were giving each other. “Oh, am I glad to be back here,” said John enthusiastically as he moved in for a more meaningful kiss. He rested his forehead on hers for a moment before capturing her mouth, the movement of his tongue swiftly stimulating her desire. “You have no idea how worried I was about you, Doc! When you were…missing, I was out of my head with fear, I thought something had happened to you,” he said as he remembered how frantic he was to find her.
“I know and I’m sorry, John. I won’t go off like that again, it was foolish.” Running her finger up and down his cheek and staring into his still concerned eyes, she shared her fear too, “You know, you had me pretty scared yourself. That infection…it almost killed you, John. If we had waited much longer…. Oh, I don’t even want to think about it,” she said as she shuddered, recalling how frightened she was when his fever seemed to keep rising in spite of the efforts being made to bring it down.
The conversation was not going where either of them wanted and John was the one to bring them back. Putting the fingertips of his left hand over her lips, he said softly, “Shh, Doc…we’re going to forget all about the little scare we had for each other and concentrate on the reason we came on this little…adventure in the first place.” With that, he began to kiss her, starting with her forehead, moving down the side of her face, on to the neck. John kissed her sweetly all around the neckline and then in the hollow of her neck and she moaned with the electrifying sensations it stimulated in her body. “Oh, John….ooh!”
“You are so…beautiful, Marlena and your beauty seems to only increase with the passage of time. Your skin is so soft and I love to feel it under my hands, and your lips are so sweet, I can’t get enough of kissing you.” He spoke like a man mesmerized and he was, when he was close to her he could hardly think of anything but making love. That had been true from almost the very beginnings of their relationship. He caressed her and touched her so tenderly that she lost contact with the world.
Marlena felt the heat of passion and began to massage him all over his body, as they moved to lie down on the bed, her eyes saying, ‘let me have a turn to please you, my love.’ His eyes gave her an answer that said, ‘I’m already at your mercy,’ and she proceeded to kiss him everywhere, but especially where the sensations would be overpowering. John allowed himself to freely experience the pleasure and it was so intense he prayed it would never stop.. “Oh, Doc…Oh..” he whispered raggedly, his breathing becoming labored, sweat beads beginning to appear on his flushed skin. “I want you so much, Marlena.”
“Ooh, John, I want you too,” she said as she laid her body carefully on top of his, ensuring not to bump his shoulder. The pressure of her weight put him on the edge of ecstasy and he moaned her name again, “Marlena…oh…honey…I need you, I need you right now.”
“Oh, me too, baby…oh, take me now, John..ooh.” John helped her position herself and soon they were on their way to the top of the highest mountain, rising higher and higher until their breath caught in their throats and moans of ecstasy escaped their mouths. John had his hands all over her back and bottom, massaging her sensually, which fueled her desire. Marlena kissed him stirringly and alternated between that and sucking hard on his lips, nibbling and whispering in his ears of her love. “Oh….oh.. John, I love you!” she cried as she reached that peak.
“Doc…Oh I love you, I love you…OH!” John returned the cry of sheer delight as he too found the summit and then together they slowly descended, feeling their hearts beating in time and hearing the sounds of their labored breathing which seemed synchronized as well. This married love was as intense and pleasurable as any they had shared, there was no doubt that the passion between John and Marlena would not fade simply because it was no longer forbidden. It was an everlasting flame that would always burn brightly.
John and Marlena were lying in bed at the Inn, waking up slowly, enjoying the feeling of being in each other’s arms and relaxing into the sense of peace and safety that surrounded them ever since Stefano and Kristen were locked behind bars in Salem. Except, of course, for the little glitch that happened the other day at the hospital involving Marlena and the young doctor Edwards.
“So…are you ready to come up for some air, Doc?” asked John teasingly, a part of him wanting her to say no. They had spent most of the past three days making love, in the bed, on the bearskin rug by the fireplace, in the shower, every place they could think of, and it was a contest now to find another place that would be still more interesting and pleasurable. The bathtub had yet to be christened and it was a toss-up who would nominate it as the next place for their glorious honeymoon fun.
Marlena gave him a smile that melted his heart and stirred the ever-present aching desire he had for her, a desire he felt for no other woman in his life. “No, honey there are still a few spots we haven’t tried yet,” she said, wanting to share herself with him again. Before she walked slowly toward the bathroom, she winked and said, “You wanna take a hot…steamy…bubble bath with me, baby?”
He had to smile; she was getting to remind him of himself. “Doc…you are…insatiable too, you know that?” he said with admiration.
“Well…I’ve had a very good role model, John. So are you going to join me or not, husband?” Marlena asked as she stood in the frame of the door, hinting that he better make up his mind quickly.
He hopped out of bed and hurried to her side, thinking she might shut the door on him if he hesitated. “Yea…let’s go for it, wife…I’d love to take a…steamy…hot…sexy…bath with you. In fact, there is nothing else I’d rather do right now!” he said with anticipation, while kissing her between words.
As Marlena turned on the faucet and adjusted the water temperature, John slipped his arms around her from behind and began to disrobe her. “Ooh, John….getting an early start are we?”
“And why not…Oh, Doc!” he said in response to her sudden move to turn around and plant a wet one on his willing lips. It was a quick, but deep kiss meant to tempt and get the motor running and it definitely accomplished its task. “Woah..what a kiss. I do believe you are getting better at that every day we’re together, Marlena.”
“You’re getting pretty good yourself, John. You know they always say that practice makes perfect.”
He was becoming quickly aroused by her gentle but rhythmic touch on his now bare backside. “Umm hmm, and we have lots more time to practice, don’t we?”
“Yes, we do…we have all the time we need,” she said with a wink as she slipped into the old fashioned tub. “Come and get me, honey…I’m waiting….”
“Oh, yea…this is the life for me,” he said, as he too settled down into the large tub and allowed the warmth of the water to relax his muscles. “Ahhh, Doc…I love your ideas…they’re so….warm,” said John seductively. He pulled her body as close as possible and began to kiss her with intensity and she moaned at the stimulating touching he was doing on her backside at the same time.
“Ooh, John…that feels so good, honey,” she said, letting the combination of the warm water and her husband’s lovemaking begin to take her to a special place she only visited when she was with this man. He moved her sexually in unimaginable ways, and there were no words to adequately describe the overpowering sensations she experienced.
John loved to hear her make the sounds of love in response to his kisses and his touch, so he began to intensify his movements. He captured her mouth in a lingering, caressing kiss, which served to fuel his own increasing desire as well as hers. She then began to massage him sensually and he felt his body begin to react powerfully to her gentle body contact. “Oh, Doc…oh…I love the way we make love…I never want it to end.”
“It never will, John. We’re going to love this way for the rest of our lives, I love you so…” she said with passion.
“Yes we are,” he said, smiling and positioning her on top of him, readying their bodies for serious pleasure. “I intend to be with you like this whenever you want, every day until forever, Marlena.” John caressed her breasts, moving his fingertips in a circular motion that elicited soft moans and she leaned in to kiss him, which she did tantalizingly. Her lips hovered over his, her tongue moving in and out of kisses and it left him moaning with desire, aching to kiss her deeply.
Finally, when his need for her seemed as though it was almost overwhelming to him, she moved in for that deep kiss, their tongues dancing around each other with great fervor. “Oh, John…I need you!” she cried out.
“Oh, Doc…” he moaned. John then began to move up and down, encouraging her to move with him and within a few more seconds they were in complete synchronization and riding the swell of an immense wave of love.
“John..I love you so much!”
“Marlena…oh, honey…” they whispered in each other’s ears as the wave crested and they slowly rode it in to shore with bodies flushed, hearts beating rapidly, and their breathing labored.
This experience represented more glorious lovemaking; each time was more exciting and intense than the last and John had to say something about it. Running a fingertip up and down her cheek, he said, “Doc..the way we love, it’s so..amazing. I love you more than I can say and being with you this way.. it’s like a dream come true. For so long I never thought I would share my love this way again, I’m so….thankful and so full of joy.”
He expressed the same thoughts and emotions she was experiencing. While returning his gesture, she replied in kind, “John, I feel exactly the same way about it, sometimes when I wake up in the night, I almost have to pinch myself to believe it’s real, that I am actually married to you, that I’m really lying in bed with you. I love you so much and I can’t even begin to explain it with words.”
After luxuriating in the warm water for a while longer, they began to stir and John got what he thought was a brilliant idea. “Marlena, I think I’m ready to venture out for a little while, what about you?”
“Well, there’s still the desk, you know,” she said winking at him again. John couldn’t help but chuckle at her girlish level of energy and enthusiasm for lovemaking.
John laughed at the thought and admitted. “Marlena, being with you is…incredible, but I…think I need…a break. Honestly, my shoulder seems better and the swelling from my head injury is down too, wouldn’t it be okay to get some fresh air?”
She realized that he was feeling a little cooped up, hemmed in and he needed to get out for at least a little while. “Well, let me look both of them over and we’ll decide, okay?” she said, trying to accommodate him.
He capitulated for the time being, “Alright, but you’ll see how well they’re healing, Doc. Besides, I want us to go to all the places we haven’t been yet…don’t you?”
“Yes.. John. I want to go to the river and the park and find the cabin if we can, but your health is the most important concern.”
“Okay, I understand. Check me out, honey,” he said with a quick wink edged with sensuality.
“Ooh, I like the sound of that, John,” she said teasingly, “but I think I just did and you feel mighty fine to me, honey.”
He smiled again and said, “The same goes for you, Marlena. By the way, have I told you yet today that you are absolutely gorgeous and that your beauty only seems to increase with the passage of time?”
She blushed a little and smiled shyly. “Well, actually, not today, no you haven’t. Please do and you can say things like that as often as you wish. I won’t complain a bit, my very handsome husband.”
John assured her he would. “I’ll be sure to tell you that every day of your sweet…long.. life,” he said, giving her a kiss between each of the last few words.
Then, he stepped out of the tub, splashing the floor as he did so. John reached in to take Marlena’s hand and help her get out too, but she slipped on the water he had splashed and he had to pull her close to steady her weight, but he too began to go down and it was all they could do to remain upright, John finally grabbed the edge of the tub to keep them from going down hard on the tile floor. After one brief shot of fearful adrenaline, they both began to laugh at themselves. “Woah… are you okay Doc?” John asked while still chuckling about the near miss they just experienced.
Marlena giggled too, “Yes..I’m okay, John, that was a close one, wasn’t it? Let’s get the water up off the floor so it won’t happen again.”
“You’ll get no argument from me on that, all we need is to go home with some broken bones and have everybody push for the reason behind them. I can see it now…” he started as he imagined the scene and then quickly dismissed the images he had conjured up in his head. ‘No sense borrowing trouble,‘ he thought.
A short time later, they were finishing up getting dressed in jeans and t-shirts and John asked excitedly, “Well, what’s it gonna be, Doc, the river or the park?”
She looked out the picture window at the river, it seemed so beautiful and peaceful from this distance. “Umm, the park first, then the river. I want to take a look at the lake and the spot where we had our picnic and then go for a walk down to the river bank like you suggested a couple of days ago. Are you ready for it?”
“You bet I am, Doc. I need a little time outside. I’m getting stir crazy. Not that I haven’t enjoyed every second of our time here, but I’m also looking forward to checking out the area again, aren’t you?”
She nodded, feeling the need to get out of the inn too. “Yes, I am, John. I want to see it all too. I love you and I really look forward to making some more new memories here with you.”
“Oh, Marlena that is the reason I brought you here. Some of those early memories were so painful and I wanted to add some very happy ones to the mix.”
Then, what are we waiting for, let’s get out there and make some more, honey!” she exclaimed.
John took her by the hand and within minutes they were eating breakfast and planning their day with a map of the area spread out in front of them. “I’m looking forward to all of this, Doc. I really want to connect with this part of our past and put it into perspective with our relationship now. I want us to remember mostly the good parts of that time together.”
“Well, you certainly have made a good start on that, my wonderful loving husband.” She leaned over and whispered in his ear, “But, for the record, I love all your.. parts.”
He could only chuckle. “Marlena, I think you’ve been hanging around me too much, you’re becoming…depraved.”
Marlena laughed a hearty, throaty laugh and it filled his heart like nothing else on earth had ever done. “Oh well, it’s too late now, honey.. we might as well be depraved together, don’t you think?” she said winking seductively again.
“You….fascinate and amaze me, Doc. Just when I think I have you completely figured out, you go and do something that surprises me. Life with you is going to be quite an adventure, Marlena Evans-Black.”
“Why thank you, my husband. I hope it’s an exciting and ultimately happy one. All I want is to see you smiling and happy like you have been these past couple of days, John.”
“Amazingly enough, that is all I want for you too, my beautiful wonderful wife. Are you ready to canvas the area, my love?” Marlena nodded affirmatively in response to his question.
As they finished the meal, John folded up the map, stood up and took her hand, indicating his readiness to leave the Inn and go exploring. It would be a day of sharing old memories and making new discoveries, and both of the honeymooners were so eager with anticipation that they practically ran to the rented Jeep.
They jumped in the Jeep and drove off in pursuit of fun and adventure of the fairly tame variety. John wanted to take her to the park where they celebrated love on their honeymoon almost eleven years earlier. That was to be their first stop instead of the river, which they had originally decided upon. As they cruised along the curvy road in West Virginia admiring the greenery of summer, John went back in time in his mind to the picnic they had and then the love play that followed. It was as if they were the only two people in the world that day, their eyes couldn’t see anyone but each other. His face bore a dreamy expression as Marlena glanced over at him and she smiled with warmth, surmising where his mind had taken him.
His thoughts were pleasantly interrupted by the soft soothing voice of the object of his recollection. “John, honey…were you thinking of our first honeymoon, that day at the park?”
He lingered in the vision and said, “Mmm hmm, it was wonderful, wasn’t it, Doc?”
“Ooh, yes that afternoon was…very special to me, I’ve treasured that memory all these years. And you know what, I love you so much more today than I did then, it doesn’t even compare. I wouldn’t have thought that was possible, but it is.”
Looking over to make eye contact, he took her hand and agreed, “Me too, Doc. I love you so much it’s scary. Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that you really married me, that you are my wife and we will share the rest of our lives together. I love you…more than I can even begin to say. You are…everything to me, Marlena.”
“I know, John, and I love you like that too. I can’t tell you how many times I imagined us together like this, but I almost gave up on that dream. That was why I left for Colorado.”
“I knew that was the reason…somehow deep inside, I just knew the chance for us would be lost forever if I didn’t take the risk and go after you right away. I’m so glad Abe confronted me about confessing my love and asking about your feelings for me.”
She sighed with the remembrance of their heated conversation in the foyer of her parents home, “So am I, honey. Oh, so am I, John. We owe him a lot, don’t we?”
John nodded firmly and agreed, “Yes, we do. He’s a great friend to both of us, I want to make sure that he and Lexie know how much they mean to us. Let’s do something special for them when we get back home.”
Ready to move on, she said, “Okay we will, John. Now….let’s get back to the matter at hand,” she said with a mischievous glint in her eyes.”
“Hmmm and what was that?” he asked, hoping she intended to take some sort of action with those soft hands of hers.
Marlena reached over and began running her hands over his chest as he drove the rented Jeep toward the park entrance. They were getting within a few blocks now, she believed. His sigh of pleasure spurred her on toward slightly more aggressive action intended to arouse his desire for her. “Ohh, Doc…oh….” he moaned in response to the way she was massaging him down around the beltline. With labored breathing, he said, “Uh…Doc, I think we better wait till we get to the park or we might…not…quite make it there in one piece.”
She smiled in response. “Oh, okay…if that’s the way you want it, John,” she said teasingly, as she scooted herself over on the seat closer to her side of the vehicle.
John sped up slightly and then quickly found a parking spot as soon as they arrived. Then he unbuckled his seat belt and turned to her immediately. “Okay, I’m ready now, honey,” he said with a seductive expression on his face.
She shrugged her shoulders and started to get out of the Jeep. With a very mischievous grin, she said, “Oh, never mind, I’m not in the mood anymore.” Then she swiftly climbed out and ran off toward the pond where they had the picnic the last time.
John didn’t have a lot of time to react, but he ran off after as quickly as he could saying, “Hey…wait a minute, what do you mean you’re not in the mood, of course you’re in the mood…..aren’t you? Doc….wait up…hey!”
Her laughter melted his heart and he couldn’t wait to catch up with her as they both knew he would fairly soon, for it was all part of their love games. She kept running as fast as she could, wanting to find a place where she could hide and tease him. Within a few minutes, she found a place to duck behind some bushes where he wouldn’t see her. Marlena crouched down and waited to surprise her husband.
He stopped running when he didn’t hear her sexy giggle, suspecting she was hiding from him. Walking slowly, he scanned the environment for movement or sound…any little sound would give her away, so he listened. However, he didn’t hear anything at all and kept right on walking down the path toward the lake. Out loud he admitted defeat, “Oh well, she must have gone on ahead, I’ll just meet her at the lake…too bad she’s going to miss my little surprise.”
She jumped out from behind the bushes with an expectant smile, “Surprise?” she asked, “What sort of a surprise?”
John suddenly grabbed her and kissed with breathtaking passion and then said playfully, “That kind of surprise!” Gotcha, Doc,” he chuckled.
“Oh, you! You only said that to get me to come out of my hiding place…didn’t you, John?” she asked accusingly.
He put up his hands and said, “Guilty as charged, Mrs. Black. What’s my punishment for telling you a little white lie?”
“Hmmm,” she said, considering it. “Well, I could….no…that’s too easy or…maybe…. Nah, too harsh.” Then there was a glint in her eye that almost made him dizzy with desire. “I’ve got it, you have to…make sweet love to me every day for the rest of your life…how’s that for a sentence?” Marlena said as she returned his kiss with fervor.
“Oh, I…think I could arrange to pay that price, it might…wear me out a little, but no sacrifice is too great for you. I must suffer the consequences for misleading you about a surprise,” John answered gleefully.
With teasing sternness, she agreed, “Yes, you must Mr. Black and your sentence begins…now!” Marlena turned and took off running down the path again and the sound of that golden laughter filtered through the trees. In that moment he knew in having her to love, he was as close to being in heaven as a man could get and still be living on planet earth.
After giving her a minute, he yelled a playful warning, “Okay, baby…here comes the offender. Watch out it’s been almost two hours without any….he’s pretty eager!”
She called behind her, “Come and get me, honey. The warden is pretty eager too!” Marlena imagined what would follow and looked forward to him catching up to her with great anticipation.
Before chasing after her, John tossed up a quick prayer, “Thank you, God. Thank you for helping us find our way back to love; we belong together and I know you helped us. I love her so much and I promise to take care of her and treat her like the special gift she is to me.” Following that, he too sped down the path toward the woman who held his heart hostage and would for the rest of his life and beyond. “Here I come, Doc…I hope you’re ready!”
“Catch me if you can, my love,” he heard her say with another giggle as she arrived at the pond only a few good steps ahead of him.
When he reached her side, John pulled her into a tender embrace and said, “I got you…Mrs. Black and I’m gonna keep you….forever…and ever. I love you so much, lady!”
“No, I got you,” she said, turning the old line around on him. “Oh, John…how I love the sound of that word forever when it comes to you and me and our love, John. I love you…more every minute, do you know that, honey?”
“Yep…I feel the same way about you, Doc… Now…let’s see if we can make some of those new memories we were talking about earlier.”
She kissed him stirringly and said, “You mean that kind of memory John?”
“Um hmm, exactly that kind of memory, let’s make some more!” He pulled her body close and pressed himself against her so that she could feel his response to her latest kiss. Then, he began to caress her back and bottom and soon they were well on their way to the incredible, indescribable ecstasy they experienced when they shared every part of themselves in love.
As he had so long ago, John lowered her gently down to the ground on a soft section of thick grass in a fairly secluded area and began to move her the way only he could as a lover. Within seconds the world was disappearing and there was nothing else but the feeling of their desire for each other.
Marlena kissed him with powerful passion and he moaned again, “Oh, Marlena…I…want you more each time…you…do things to me I can’t describe,” he said with admiration and gratitude. She began to undo his belt and unzip his pants and he responded quickly, his need for her increasing with each passing second as she touched him with tender strokes and he moaned with pleasure, “Oh..Doc…I need you so much..oh..”
In response to her touch, John began to kiss her firmly, alternately sucking on her lips and making his tongue dance around hers, which caused them both to burn with desire for each other. As he ran his hands up and down slowly between her legs she whispered, “Oooh, John….it’s better every time with you too… Oh, I love you so…”
John and Marlena made wondrous love, oblivious to anything else happening around them. They were literally enraptured with each other and the pleasure they were giving and receiving. Their sharing of themselves intimately like this was a blissful, mutually satisfying experience and they felt privileged to have it back. This honeymoon was the time when all the years of pain and separation began to slowly fade into the distance. That pain was being replaced by amazing pleasure, pure joy and a sense of peace that neither had known since the day a small plane went down and John had said goodbye to the woman he loved so deeply that he had no idea how he could even take another breath without her.
Unbelievably, John loved her even more completely then he did that day. Theirs was a love that had been through so many challenges and tests of faith and evil manipulators trying to keep it from being expressed or even believed. For her part, Marlena loved this man with every ounce of herself as well, and she was ecstatic to have come back to the place where they first realized the existence and strength of the love between them. She knew that this was the man she was truly destined to be with, to share every day of her life with, to laugh and cry and grow old with. This marriage was a match made in heaven. It was what Alice called True Love and she was right.
True love did indeed win out in the end.
Their incredible honeymoon lovemaking put a seal on the amazing indestructible bond of love that had stretched between them almost since the day they first met, and definitely ever since the day she came running up the hill into the arms of “the best thing that ever happened to her,” to put it in John’s words on the day they said goodbye in Mexico. He uttered those words thinking they were meant to describe someone else and believing that he would never share that kind of love with her again. They were both completely wrong. It had taken eleven years and many difficult and painful twists and turns, but their journey had brought them back to this place where love had its true beginning, and never again would they say goodbye.
~ THE END ~
The Jarlena Journal 