Pain, darkness, shadows from the past danced through his hazy mind. The suggestive voice of Tony Dimera echoed inside his head “You belong nowhere, nowhere, you have nowhere to be. You’re alone John, alone”. The poor soul on the bed tried to get up in a desperate attempt to flee the demon that had invaded his mind. He moved forcefully and finally, somewhere from deep inside salvation came, a well locked in memory forced it’s way through his drug induced state. The face of a woman slowly appeared, hazel eyes filled with tears locked onto his blue ones, calling him in, calling him home. He suddenly jolted up from the muggy bed and screamed out in the deep darkness “Marlena!”
The sunrays slowly trickled their way through the window, across the floor and over to the bed where they stopped for a moment, bathing Marlenas legs in golden light before, almost leisurely continuing to trickle their way up the rest of her body. When the bright light finally reached her face, her eyelids begun to flutter and a soft yawn escaped her lips, stretching her whole body she slowly opened her eyes and blinked in the sharp light. For a short moment she felt carefree, a small smile rested on her lips as she stretched out her hand to caress her love and then reality hit her in the face. John was no longer with her; he was no longer a part of her world. . Never again would she wake up with him lying beside her, never again would she lay in their bed and just…. look at him, look at his closed eyes, his beautiful mouth. A wave of intense longing suddenly washed through her. She remembered how he had whispered loving, exciting words in her ears while they made love, how he had comforted her when she needed it the most, and now he was gone, killed by the hands of Anthony DiMera. The all to familiar pain returned with full force, her breath hitched while she tried to hold back the tears but it was to no use. Giving up the futile effort, she turned around in the bed burying her head in the pillows and dissolved into heart wrenching sobs.
The door clicked and a beam of light slowly found its way inside the cell were john stood well hidden in the deep shadows; he only made his move when the guard was fully inside. The poor bastard didn’t stand a chance; the last thing he heard in this life was a hoarse voice whispering in his ear “no one keeps me from her and gets away with it, no one!” And then his neck cracked and darkness claimed him.
The fog rolled in over the forest landscape, making the surroundings look like something from a dream. The shadows quickly grew, almost coming to life and all sounds were muffled, dreamlike. It was almost like the surrounding held it’s breath, waiting for someone or something, and then suddenly, somewhere in the distance a big bird abruptly flew up from it’s hiding place and disturbed the calm just as John quickly made his way through bushes and grass. His eyes were wild with fury and determination, there were no way he would let these fuckers take him again, no way. He looked over his shoulder and then up into the sky, they were closing in on him, somewhere in the distance he could hear the smatter of a chopper and he knew without a doubt that they followed him by feet to and that they soon would catch up with him .The sound of someone stepping on a branch followed by a muffled “fuck” quickly confirmed this suspicion so he quickly stepped into a bush and awaited the arrival of his enemies. He didn’t have to linger long, soon the muffled voices became clearer and two heavily armed men came into his view, one of them saying “Yeah, but how the fuck did he get out of the compound, it’s suppose to be foolproof, I just don’t get it!” the man to whom the question was asked shook his shoulders “beats me but hey… you can’t blame the guy for trying to get back to her, I’ve seen Dimeras pictures of her and she’s one helluva sexy lady! ”Smirking he looked at his friend. “In fact, I wouldn’t mind getting me a piece of her if you know what I mean!” He did an obscene gesture, eliciting a raw laughter from his partner “Oh yeah like she would ever let you come close to her you ugly bastard”. “Well I wouldn’t mind a little resistance.” He continued “oh yeah I like it when they fight back, it just makes it even more…enjoyable.” The other man looked disgusted “You’re sick man, totally sick” “Yeah, so the say but it gets me what I want don’t it?” Their voices slowly trailed of leaving John with a burning urge to launch himself out of the bushes and rip the mans limbs apart with his bare hands.
She just couldn’t seem to compose herself, every time she tried to a new boast of tears sprung free, blinding her sight. Why did it have to be this way? Why wasn’t John there with her like he was suppose to be? The Dimeras had taken so much from her already, when was it going to stop? A sudden rage burst through her and she bolted up from the bed, stretched out her hand for her water glass and hurled it against the bedroom door, making a million tiny glass pieces fly across the room like sparkling diamonds. For a brief second she felt relieved at the anger but then the rage quickly left her and in it’s place the almost suffocating sense of lost yet again returned, her knees buckled and she slid down the wall while a desperate cry made it’s way past her lips “John, oh god John, I cant make it without you, please, oh God please come back to me” her cries echoed throughout the empty bedroom and was only answered by the howling of the wind outside.
John had managed to compose him self but the rage was still there, sliding around in his gut like a big snake threatening to destroy everything in it’s way. That fucker, he was never going to put his dirty hands on Marlena, just the mere thought of it made his eyes go dark, almost black and he had to calm himself by taking long, deep breaths and slowly by each breath the rage lost it’s intensity and his mind got clear again. Marlena would have no use for him as a dead man, and dead was exactly what he was going to be if he showed his face to those fuckers. Sure he was strong and he could easily have taken the both of them if they had been unarmed, but that was just the hitch. They were not so going after them would be like suicide, not to smart. John sat down and put his head in his hands. He would have to figure out his next move and he had to do it quick, He guessed that Tony’s men were spread all over the forest by now so what he needed was a foolproof way out and that was easier said than done. “Damn, What the fuck am I going to do, how the hell do I get past these bastards”? John smashed his hands together when the chopper once again made its presence known, it flew in circles now and it seemed like the pilot was looking for a spot in which to land. John gazed at it and then slapped his forehead. “Of course, why didn’t I think of that before” he got up still gazing at the chopper that now had begun to descend a bit from where he was hiding. “Yeah, this is going to be perfect, the haunted becomes the haunter I’m sure that’s not something you’re counting on pal”. The last sentence was hissed between his teeth and his eyes took on an almost blackish tone as he started to move against his target.
The pilot had indeed not counted on being the haunted one and was therefore easy to “persuade” to give up the chopper. After a few, but very well selected words he was very cooperative so now John was up in the air looking down over the scenery and what he saw was almost unreal. The sun was going down behind the mountains bathing them in gold and blue and the sky was colored in pink and deep orange, it was almost the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen…almost, there was one thing that made the evening sky pale in comp erasing. John looked at the sight a tender smile grazing his lips. I’m coming home to you Doc, I’m coming home.”
Something wasn’t right, her back was almost killing her and her stomach wouldn’t stop growling. Marlena groggily opened her eyes and was met by the sight of the red numbers on her alarm clock, 10.33 AM. She had slept away the entire afternoon and evening on the floor, no wonder her backside was a mess. She moaned and slowly got up from the floor while rubbing at her sore spot, she guessed she would have to grab a snack or something. She was all the way down in the living room when a strange noise from the entrance reached her, it sounded like someone was trying to get in. Stopping dead in her tracks she stared at the door while it opened little by little making the lights from the hall illuminate the floor and furniture’s of the living room. “Who is it?” Marlena could feel the tiny hairs on her neck stand up and she stretched out her hand for a big candlestick when suddenly a familiar scent reached her. That scent, she would recognize that scent anywhere. “Oh, God” a sob escaped her as she lifted her hands to her mouth “God no, it cant be”. John, it was the scent of John. Everything around her began to spin and just when the door was totally open her whole world turned black and she fell to the floor.
She was floating around on air and somewhere in the distance there was a voice calling for her. “Doc, honey, please wake up. Baby come on, wake up” She really didn’t want to leave the warm safe place she was at but the voice was very persistence and that combined with the wet cloth on her forehead brutally forced her back to reality so she finally opened her eyes, blinked repeatedly and tried to focus on the person before her, his eyes had the shade of the evening Sky, velvet blue. “No” Marlena was almost startled by her own voice; there was so much pain. “No, it’s not possible, you’re dead, they told me you were dead, this can’t be!” she scrambled of the sofa on unsteadily legs staring at him with big eyes. “Baby, I know” John’s deep voice washed over her, making her take a shaky involuntarily breath. “I know they did and I’m so sorry you had to go through all that pain and…” Marlena cut him off “but they said you were dead ,we looked everywhere but we couldn’t find you and I”… her breath almost came out in gasps “I looked everywhere for you…I could’nt believe that Tony… I couldn’t find…oh god it’s been so”… she suddenly hid her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking from her tears. “I…. I just love you so much and you were gone” she gasped when she suddenly felt him grabbing hold of her wrists, forcing her hands away from her face looking her in the eyes. “I love you to, I love you so much Doc” he gave her a small smile and started to draw her to him when she suddenly stepped back, her eyes almost black with pain. “No!” she shook her head. “No?” John stared at her. “You can’t just come here and…and”… she swiped angrily at her cascading tears “Oh God, you promised the Dimeras would never hurt us again, you promised you would never leave me” she screamed the last words and then closed the distance between them starting to hit her fists to his chest, she just had to express her pain somehow and was so into what she was doing that she almost got startled when John suddenly locked his arms around her and pressed her body to his. “Doc, please listen to me, please” he could feel her resist slightly but then she gave in to him with a sigh, resting her head against his shoulder her tears still flowing freely down her cheeks. John slowly stroked her hair before he started talking. “Come on let’s go sit down and I will tell you everything
She had not said anything during the long time it took John to tell her everything but now He could hear her mumbling something, her voice somewhat muffled against his chest “What, I didn’t hear you honey” Marlena looked up at him her eyes still teary “I said I’m sorry” John smiled stroking her cheek “You have nothing to be sorry about, I on the other hand”… He got cut of when Marlena put her hand to his cheek “Yes I do, I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve had to suffer because of the Dimeras and….” She paused for a second “and I’m sorry for reacting the way I did before, for hitting you in the chest” she looked down “ I just don’t know what got in to me, I mean it’s not like anything of this is your fault and I…” this time it was Johns turn to interrupt “Hey, hey… there’s a lot of sorry there and like I said before you have nothing to be sorry about, and for the hitting part” he wrapped his arms even tighter around her and whispered in her ear “well…lets put it like this, if you ever want to try it again I’m your man.” Instead of answering a soft sob escaped Marlena and she buried her head in his neck again. “Hey, I’m sorry I was just kidding honey, don’t cry, everything is going to be ok, I promise”. As John talked he gently put his finger under her chin tipping it up, and as her eyes caught his an electric, lustful stare passed between them and then his mouth came into contact with hers… At first it was a gentle kiss, soft pressure on the lips but before long she parted her lips to give him more access, the kiss deepened and their tongues collided in a desperate battle and a moan of passion escaped her throat. When the kiss ended John gently drew her to a stand and then without further warning ,scooped her up and carried her up the stairs to their bedroom “watcha doing” her laughter caressed his ears. “Baby…I am going to show you just how much I love you” smiling he put her down on her feats. “You will?” Marlena looked at him through heavy eyelids. “So…what exactly are you planning to do?” “Well I think I’m going to start with …a little bit of this” he drew her to him and let his hands wander down to her hips, pressing them against his own while kissing her neck and the hollow of her throat. “And then” he nibbled on her earlobe “ I’m going to divest you of this robe” he kissed her hard on the lips before letting the clothing drop to the floor. “And then” he grinned and winked at her “I think I’ll free my self from these clothes” quickly he removed the shirt and pants “just so we’re more on an equal level… I mean, I wouldn’t wont you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you.” “Oh I don’t think I would feel that way”… Marlena stroked his chest and seductively wet her lips “in fact, you ‘r free to take advantage of me whenever you like to”. “Oh yeah?” John picked her up again and placed her on their bed “then I’m definitely going to some of this” holding her arms high over her head, he thumbed aside one strap of her bra, the cup sliding aside willingly. Marlena restrained a cry as he placed a series of lazy kisses around her breast, following its curve down, around. His cheek brushed her nipple, erect with tension and then his lips closed around it, his tongue and teeth teasing it and she shuddered at the sensation. “John” she panted feeling weak from his actions “please, I want to touch you!” grunting he let her hands free and she immediately curled her fingers through his thick, dark hair while her lips found his earlobe, biting it, eliciting a moan in response. ”You like?” Her breath hot against his ear. Instead of answering He forced her back into the pillows while looking deep into her eyes. “I just love you so much Pretty Lady” he kissed her forehead. She could feel a tear trickle its way down her cheek before his thumb dried it away. “I love you to John” she reached out a hand and traced his lips with her index finger “God, I love you so much”. A small smile played in the corners of his mouth and he lowered his head to kiss her collarbone and the valley between her breasts before letting his hands wander over her small waist following the sensual curve to her hip stopping at her lace panties. “I think we’ll need to remove these!” He looked at her and slowly started to slid them down her legs while Marlena breathlessly freed her self from the bra and then let her hands slip inside the waistband of her husbands boxers quickly removing them. John took a sharp intake of breath when she tenderly touched him and then forcefully pushed her back so he was lying on top again burying his lips in the hollow of her neck as his hands slid downward over her legs, Marlena whimpered as his hands smoothly stroked her inner thighs, evading the ultimate touch. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he gently let one finger touch her most sensitive area before slipping it inside of her moving it back and forth. Crying out at the contact, she threw her head back against the headboard, arching her back, moving against his hand. She ached to feel him inside her and she could sense that he to was more than ready, his arousal pressing hard against her stomach. “Oh God, John…” she panted… “Please, make love to me…” she raked her hands through his hair, encouraging him. Without responding in words, he positioned himself between her legs, gathering her into his arms as he pulled back to look into her amber eyes. He then slowly entered her, both of their eyes snapping shut as they simultaneously exhaled in soft moans, She grasped his arms as he leaned down, burying his face in her neck and they found a rhythm… slow, but extremely passionate and erotic. He grunted slightly as he thrust deeper, and Marlena softly whispered her agreement… “Yes…yes” and John knew she was close, as was he. He sped up his movement, holding her tight to him, their bodies molding together and soon they both cried out with pleasure. “Oh God…John!” Marlena trembled against him as she came, then she felt him following her over the edge, exploding inside of her and their sweating, trembling bodies collapsed together. For long minutes they just laid there, looking deep into each others eyes, their heartbeats pounding, breathing ragged and then John rolled over taking her with him. “Happy?” He softly whispered in her ear, his arms protectively around her. Marlena leaned her head against his chest, smiling. “Mmmmm, very.” She snuggled closer against him just listening to the rumble of his heart for a long while before talking again. ”I still can’t believe you’re here, I’ve prayed so much…” a deep breath from John interrupted her. ”Honey?” Marlena looked up only to find John’s eyes closed, his face holding the most peaceful of expressions. ”Oh honey” she tenderly stroked his cheek. ”I love you so much…You just sleep and we’ll talk tomorrow” leaning in she planted a soft kiss on his lips making him stir a little, drawing her even closer to him while murmuring in his sleep…”I love you to Doc…forever:” smiling she leaned her head on his chest again and then whispered…”me to my love…forever.”
The Jarlena Journal 