Falling – Book Three – By HelloKitty

What do you do when you whole word falls apart, when every assumption
you ever had about yourself and others have proven to be false? What
if your whole life, your whole existence has been a lie? Sooner or
later you have to stop running from your past, running from your fears
and face what’s in front of you, your life. Sooner or later you have
to go home.

Falling Book 3: Home – Chapter 1

“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we
cannot live within.” – James Baldwin

Arching off the bed, back drenched in sweat, John held on tightly to
Marlena as she came. “God,” she moaned almost embarrassed at the force
of her orgasm.

“God had nothing to do with that, so don’t be giving him the credit,”
John joked as he lightly traced his fingers along her collarbone,
stopping every so often to feel the hardness of the bones that lay so
close beneath the thin layer of skin.

“I didn’t mean it literally, you goof,” Marlena laughed as she layed
back against soft Egyptian cotton sheets and closed her eyes. This was
the good life. After everything that they’d been through the past
year, they more than deserved this moment of happiness.

“Just making sure. You bringing god into our bed was kind of scary.”

“What are you afraid of God now? Kind of ironic for a former man of the cloth.”

“Hardly, but could you maybe stop talking about the man….it’s making
me nervous,” John admitted as his fingers slowly moved lower.

“John Black nervous?” Marlena laughed as she rolled over onto her
stomach and layed against the pillow closing her eyes. “God this feels
good,” she moaned as she breathed in the lavender scent of the pillow.

“Hey, I wasn’t done playing,” John pouted as his fingers snaked across
the sheets and he once again reached for her bare skin. Slowly tracing
the side of her rib cage with his index finger, he stared transfixed
at her face watching for a reaction as he touched the side of her
breast.

“I think you’ve more than enough played,” Marlena responded in almost
a whisper. She was growing tired after a more than exhausting day and
was having a hard time keeping her eyes open.

“Says you.”

“Says me and that’s what matters honey.”

“Hey, I went for months being good and not touching you even though I
wanted to do nothing more. Don’t I get points for that,” he pouted,
although his expression was lost on her.

“No, because I believe that I wasn’t fighting you off. I think I
deserve the points for being denied what I so desperately wanted to do
to you for months. You had the opportunity, I was the one denied.”
Marlena knew why John had denied her intimacy and professionally
agreed with his approach, but it was still fun to mess with his head.

“Well now is your chance to make it up. Wanna play Dr. Evans?” John
whispered seductively, his face inches from her ear.

“John,” Marlena moaned in frustration.

“What am I making you all hot and bothered?” John asked as his tongue
slowly snaked out of his mouth and he licked the rim of her ear. “Am I
making you wet?” he whispered in the softest of tones, his voice
audible only to her.

“John.” Marlena opened her eyes just millimeters, enough to see him
and the look of lust on his face. Shielding her eyes with her hands,
she breathed in deeply. “Fuck John, why do I always let you get away
doing this?” she asked herself more than him. She smelled him and his
cologne, she smelled him and his shampoo, and she smelled him and the
musky scent of his sex. Even though she was beyond exhausted she
wanted him.

“Cause I’m irresistible.”

“That you are, but why? I’m exhausted John.” Flipping over onto her
back, she closed her eyes and tried to resume her attempt at sleeping.
“Besides, little john has already come out and played more than once
tonight.” She couldn’t resist the urge to open one eye and see his
response.

“It’s not enough Doc,” John whined, well aware of Marlena’s
intentional jab at him.

“You and your damn libido….it’s never enough for you. Besides we don’t
have any more condoms.”

“So we’ll take our chances.”

“Oh hell no, John Black,” Marlena retorted loudly as she sat up in
bed. “Hell no. We took our chances before and wound up with a set of
twins, twins that we haven’t seen in almost a year mind you.”

“But Marlena.”

“No, but Marlena’s. No intercourse….I love you and I love children,
but I have absolutely no desire to have any more.”

“Okay fine, ruin my fun….no intercourse, but there are lots of other
things we can do,” he said as he ran his tanned hand up her thin leg.

“Before I go down this road with you I want your word that once you ejaculate….”

“Do you have to be so technical about it honey,” John interrupted. He
now knew what Brady must have felt like all those years ago when
Marlena insisted that the child know and understand the correct terms
for the body and all of its functions. He owed Brady an apology.

“What do you want me to call it?” Marlena looked at him quizzically as
she grabbed the duvet and brought it up to cover her chest.

“I don’t know, say something dirty….it turns me on,” John leered as he
slowly took hold of the cover and lowered it, exposing her once again.
The smirk on her face as she grabbed for the cover wasn’t lost on him.

“Everything turns you on John….you’re essentially a walking erection.”
With one hand holding the duvet, she swatted the covers aiming for his
hands as she felt them snaking up the bare skin of her stomach. He
never played fair and probably never would.

“Now that’s hot…saying something else dirty.” Slowly his hands moved
higher till they lingered just below her right breast. Slowly he
traced the warm skin. John heard the hitch in her breathing and knew
that he was arousing her once again.

“Hot?” she laughed at his use of such a juvenile word. “That wasn’t
dirty and its somewhat disturbing that you’re so easily turned on.”
His index finger lightly flicked the tip of her already erect nipple.
She felt the familiar flood of liquid between her bare thighs and knew
there was no point in denying him. She needed him, needed this, as
much as he did. Closing her eyes, she tried to concentrate on what he
was saying and not what he was doing.

“You know that you make me hot…now stop talking and lets get jiggy.”
John pulled the covers down again and took her face in both his hands,
kissing her passionately.

“Shut up Black,” Marlena murmured between kisses as she felt John
begin to thrust between her legs.

“Gladly,” he said as his tongue probed her mouth ever so gently.

“John,” Marlena screamed out in passion as he roughly penetrated her.
The sound of the headboard banging against the wall and the hushed
murmurs of lovers becoming reacquainted were all that could be heard
in the dark room.

Standing outside of the room, back pressed to the cold textured walls,
Stefano listened as John and Marlena made love once again.

“Damn them both,” he muttered under his breath, jealous that John was
doing to Marlena what he imagined doing to her for years.

“No…it’s wrong,” he thought as he started to walk away from the room.
Stopping in his tracks, he was drawn back to the room, not by any
sound in particular but by the irresistible lure of Marlena. “Damn
her, damn my brother John and damn Daphne,” Stefano said in anger and
he placed both arms against the wall and pushed. “Damn them for doing
this to me….I need to stop this before she drives me mad.”

He knew and accepted that she was off limits, but regrettably John was
as well, not because he was Daphne’s bastard son, but because of who
he was to Marlena. Regardless of how Freudian the whole situation was,
he wanted her more than he ever had before, a fact which he hated
himself for. He didn’t want to have these feelings for her, but the
more he thought of her and her demands the more turned on he became.
Pinching the head of his erect penis until he felt physical pain he
tried desperately to control his primal urges for her.

“I’m the one calling the shots from now on, got that? You are going to
your study and call the family. Within 12 hours I want all of my
uncles sitting in that living room,” Marlena said as she pointed to
the room with her finger. “Together you are going to devise a plan of
protection for my family and that includes not only John and myself,
but also Noah and Rachel, Carrie, Belle, Brady and Chloe, Sami, Roman,
Shawn and Caroline, Bo and Hope, and Kayla and Kimberly. I don’t care
what happened in the past that you feel you need to get revenge for.
From now on they are off limits. Got that?”

She waited for confirmation from Stefano before she continued. “Within
twenty-four hours I will be entering Salem University Hospital to see
my babies for the first time in almost nine months. No secret service,
no ISA agents, FBI, CIA, NSA or any other police force will be there
then or after. You will use your connections to get them off my back.
And lastly you will find Eric and bring him home.”

“And what do I get out of all of this?”

“Besides doing something decent and right for the first time in your
pathetic life, at the end of it all, after all my demands have been
met I will give you the code that you so desperately want. You get the
money, I get the tape.”

“You drive a hard bargain, you would have made your father proud, you
truly are a Dimera.…”

“No, I’m a Black and don’t you ever forget that….the clock is ticking
so I suggest you make those calls now….in twelve hours if my demands
aren’t met I will kill you….After all I have nothing to lose.”

She was a magnificent creature, a true Dimera. All his other nieces
and nephews paled in comparison to her. He knew looking into her eyes
that she would kill him without hesitation just as she had killed her
father and Channing Owens. He wondered what Dr. Evans would think if
she ever figured out her bloodline. Just as Stefano was the phoenix;
the seventh son of a seventh son, Marlena and Samantha were the female
equivalents.

“Love you.” He heard her declare her love to John through the thin
walls, her voice carrying down the hall. For an instant he permitted
himself the luxury of imagining that it was he that Marlena loved.
Stopping himself, he quietly walked down the hall and down the stairs
to his study. Closing and locking the oversized mahogany doors he
walked over to the safe concealed behind an old blue period Picasso
and opened it. Slowly he removed a series of files and bank ledgers.

“How am I going to do this my queen?” he asked Marlena as he held an
old family picture of her as a child in his hands. “How do I get you
back into the Unites States without the ISA knowing? You are asking
the impossible.”

She drove a hard bargain. If he didn’t, she’d kill him and he’d never
see the money or the tape. He didn’t care so much about the money as
the tape. With the tape, he could control everything, including the
presidency of the United States of America. Absolute power and a
chance to redeem the Dimera family name was almost too much to
imagine.

“My queen, I will arrange for your return to your adopted county and
in return you are going to make me an even more powerful man.“ Almost
being able to taste the revenge and the power he was soon to possess,
he put her picture back into the folder and set it down on the desk.
Picking up the phone he dialed a familiar number.

“Mr. Donovan, its Stefano. The plan is in motion, you know what to do.”

Chapter 2

“Are you ready to do this?” John asked Marlena as he sat on the bed
and watched her bush her long blond hair and secure it tightly in a
black elastic ponytail holder. Since Stefano had interrupted their
sleep a half hour before with news that the Dimera family had arrived
Marlena had said little. So patiently he sat, watching her and
wondering what she was thinking. Her eyes gave away nothing.

“I think so,” she said as she set down the brush on the vanity and
turned around, facing him. “In a way I’m more than ready for this. I
really want to go home.” To her babies, her children, her house, her
job, her life.

“I hear a but somewhere in there,” John remarked, noticing the
hesitation in her voice. Standing up he approached her and welcomed
her into his open arms. Holding her close to his chest, he breathed in
the scent of her hairspray, relishing their closeness. After
everything that they had been though, after the lengths others had
gone to separate them, they were still together and closer than ever.

“You know me so well,” she laughed as she snuggled against his neck
before she became serious. “I’m afraid.”

“Of what?” He asked as he gently squeezed her, trying to provide her
with comfort and reassurance.

“Of them,” she admitted as she closed her eyes and tried to hide in
his arms, hating that she was weak.

“Why would you be afraid of them?”

Pulling out of his embrace she placed her hands over her eyes, ashamed
at her weakness. “This is messed up, ” she admitted as she shrugged
her shoulders before finally dropping her hands and looking at him.
“Even though I don’t remember them very well, if at all, I feel this
unexplainable need to be good enough for them?”

“I’m not understanding this,” John stated as he looked at her
incredulously. “You care if they like you?”

“Don’t you?” she asked somewhat embarrassed, knowing that her feelings
were wrong and abnormal. Afraid that she was falling victim to the
Stockholm syndrome and empathizing with her captors she knew that she
would need John to be her rock tonight. The Dimera family was the
cause of so much heartbreak and pain to her and John, but here she was
wanting them to accept her.

“Actually no. I couldn’t give a rats ass if any of those spawns of
satan himself like me. They sold me down the river and allowed Stefano
to take me away and brainwash me. Meanwhile dear old mommy dearest did
absolutely nothing,” John replied, the hatred in his voice evident. He
thought back to the night that his Uncle Konstantin pulled him and his
Uncle Dimitri from the frigid ocean water and allowed Marlena to
drown. Clenching his fists, he gripped Marlena tighter, frightened at
his own inexplicable need for revenge. This wasn’t about him though.
This was about Marlena and her need to face the demons of her past so
that they would move on with their lives. “So to answer your question.
No, they can all rot in hell for all I care.”

“At least you get to claim that their blood is not yours,” Marlena
admitted, sickened by the fact that she was one of them.

“Blood is not as important as you think it is Marlena,” John tried to
reassure her thinking that it was the incest aspect with her father
that was driving her comment. He never wanted her to feel bad or any
less of a person because of what she went through. “Carrie is not
yours, but do you love her any less?”

“Well no…”

“See….”

“This is different John….I had years with Carrie where I raised her.”

“This is no different. You don’t know these people. They didn’t raise you.”

“But they did…I remember playing with you when we were children John,”
Marlena blurted out before she suddenly became sick to her stomach and
image after image of a privileged childhood in Europe flashed through
her mind.

“What’s wrong?” John asked as he tried to hold onto her as she
struggled in his arms. She was too close to him and needed to distance
herself.

“I can’t do this,” she cried. “I can’t…You’re my cousin John and I
just made love to you.”

“So what.”

“What’s Belle going to think when she finds out? Her parents are
cousins. What’s our family going to say?” The more she thought about
it the more disgusted she became at her actions. What the hell was she
thinking bedding John?

“Nothing, because we’ve done nothing wrong,” John said as he placed
the tips of his fingers together and brought them to his lips. “We’re
not related by blood Marlena, you know that,” John tried to reassure
her, placing emphasis on the word not.

“It doesn’t matter John. We are still related.”

“You’ve known for almost a year that you were a Dimera and that we
were related, why is it bothering you now?”

“I didn’t really think about it before.”

“You didn’t think of t? Honey, we’ve been on the run from the law for
the past nine months you’ve had plenty of time to think…”

“But not about this,” she blurted out, interrupting him. “I didn’t
want to think about this.”

“Why, because you think that our relationship is wrong?”

“Yes,” she whispered, as a lone tear made its way down the side of her face.

“Look at me Marlena,” John demanded. “Look at me.”

Looking up at John, Marlena didn’t want to look him in the eyes, so
she looked past him at a vibrant painting of the Amalfi coast that
hung on the wall.

“Look at me Mrs. Black,” John whispered. “You are my wife and I love
you more than anything in the world.”

“Ex-wife,” she muttered, thankful for that distinction. To her, it
somehow made the situation a little more palatable.

“Right,” he muttered, ashamed that he still hadn’t told her that they
weren’t really divorced as she had assumed that they were. He’d told
her the lie over a year ago when she was still involved with Alex
North, knowing that she wasn’t of sound mind to make cognizant
decisions. Why hadn’t he told her the truth since then?

“This is a mess….how am I going to explain everything that’s happened
to people…how can I?” Once again John let the opportunity to tell her
the truth pass him by.

“You don’t have to Marlena…you don’t owe anyone an explanation for
anything…what happened in the past is your own personal business, not
theirs.”

“It is though….I was cruel to people.”

“They knew that you were stressed.” Marlena knew that John was
minimizing the situation, trying to make her feel better.

“Being stressed is not the equivalent to being an ass, pardon my
language. I was mean and cruel and said awful things to people, no
matter what the reason.”

“People understand.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any less guilty for what I’ve done.”

“Don’t feel bad Marlena.”

“How can I not?”

“Know that you weren’t yourself when it happened.”

“How many times can I use that as an excuse John?” Marlena asked as
she thought back to the past thirty years in Salem and everything she
had been involved in, notably all the times that she’d done bad things
and was forgiven. “It’s no wonder Sami is a mess, its in her blood.”

“Just stop this pity party Marlena. Stop.” After everything that they
had been through and the insurmountable odds of Marlena coming through
it all as a survivor, there was no way in hell that he was going to
let her give up and become a helpless victim. He would leave her
before that happened.

“How can I? How can I? How many times am I going to earn their forgiveness?”

“They’ve already forgiven you.”

“How do you know John? Did you call them and ask them?”

“I don’t need to…They’re your family, your family that counts anyway.
That’s what family does, they forgive.”

“But how many times are they going to? When is enough?”

“Who knows

“I’m scared and frightened that they won’t this time.” Turning around
and looking out the window, she wiped her nose on the cuff of her
shirt. Nothing was going according to plan. What if all she had left
was the Dimera’s waiting for her in the living room? “I was possessed
by the devil and was forgiven. I was accused of being the Salem serial
killer and killing off half my friends and everyone forgave me. What
was is my excuse this time?”

“You don’t need an excuse Marlena, that’s what I’m trying to tell you.
We’ll deal with these jokers downstairs and then go back to Salem.
Things will be fine….Trust me, you’ll see.” Placing his arms around
her waist, he pulled her back to him.

“I did bad things John….I tried to kill myself.” Out of everything
that she had done and said, the suicide attempt is what bothered her
the most. As a trained professional she knew all the signs, symptoms
and rationale behind it. How could she not see what was happening to
herself and stop it?

“And you didn’t.”

“But they know I tried,” she whispered, as she struggled to pull
herself out of John’s embrace. The more she struggled, the tighter he
held her. “I wanted to go home before but now I don’t.” She didn’t
want her children to think of her as a desperate and weak woman, but
that was inevitably how they saw her.

Seeing her talking a trip on the road to self-doubt John knew that he
had to stop her now. “What happened to the strong Marlena that held a
gun to Stefano?” he asked as he let go of her.

“That was an act.” She looked away from him sheepishly as she picked
at a sore on her arm.

“I find that hard to believe,” John replied as he took hold of her
hand to stop her from picking her scabs.

“It was.” She tried to pull her hand out of his grip, needing the
relief that only reopening her wounds would bring. “I’m not as strong
as you think I am. I love your optimism and belief in me, it’s
flattering.”

“Its true,” he tried to reassure her as he took her other hand in his
and held them tightly, looking directly into her eyes. “Marlena,
you’re stronger than you think you are….always have been and always
will. Sure you have self-doubts, we all do, but what’s important is
that when push comes to shove you are a survivor. You have killer
instincts.”

The moment John said it, he knew that he shouldn’t have. Marlena
instantly jerked her hands out of his. “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have.”

“No, its okay John,” she said as she looked out the window at the
vineyard below. “I am a killer.”

“It was in self-defense.”

“Regardless of the reason I have to face what I did.”

“You did the world a favor.”

“That’s not how some people will see it.”

“Who cares what they think.”

“Those people downstairs may…I killed one of their own.”

“One of your own Marlena….you’ve got to come to grips that no matter
if you like it or not you were one of them. Face it and then reject
them, its what they all deserve.”

“Promise me something John,” Marlena said as she turned and faced him.

“Pinky promise,” John said as he held out his pinky to Marlena and
smiled as she raised her pinky and joined his.

“Promise me that if it looks like I’m starting to lose my resolve and
backing down that you’ll be strong for me. I hate to think myself as
weak, but damn, I’ve got that one little gene that I can’t seem to
kill that makes me care what others think. I need you to be strong for
me.”

“I got your back baby,” John teased and he hugged her tightly and
kissed her lightly on the lips before letting go of her and opening
the bedroom door.

Letting her exit the room before him, he watched her appreciatively,
unable to resist the urge to smack her on her butt. “Boy do I have
your back.”

“John,” she squealed in surprise.

“It’s your fault….It’s all your fault.”

“And how would it be my fault?”

“If you weren’t so damn delicious I would be able to keep my hands to myself.”

“Well try to,” Marlena remarked as she took John’s hand in hers as
they quickly walked down the hall unaware of the pair of indigo blue
eyes that watched their every move through a small hole in the wall.

Chapter 3

“People who treat other people as less than human must not be
surprised when the bread they have cast on the waters comes floating
back to them, poisoned.”
James Baldwin

“Julie,” the petite blonde squealed as she rose from the couch and
briskly walked over to where Marlena was standing. “It’s so good to
see you again.” Marlena stood stiffly as the older woman attempted to
place her portly bare arms around her. Taking a step back, Marlena
asked, “Excuse me, but do I know you?”

The old woman just laughed, “You always were a joker Julie….how could
you forget me?”

John, sensing how uncomfortable Marlena was around these strangers,
interceded, “You’ll have to excuse my wife Marlena,” he said as he
accentuated the word Marlena. “She’s only recently remembered that she
belongs to your family.”

“You don’t remember me, do you,” the woman asked as she reached up and
grabbed Marlenas cheeks and squeezed them. “Why I used to change your
diaper as a baby.”

“Pleasant experience, I’m sure,” Marlena muttered as she tried to
maintain her confidence. She wanted to grab the fat woman by the arms
and push her far away, instead she cordially smiled.

“I’m your Aunt Franchesca,” the woman said as if she was expecting
Marlena to immediately remember her.

“Aunt Franchesca,” Marlena repeated trying to put a face to the name,
but was getting nothing. She vaguely remembered the younger version of
several of the ladies sitting tensely on the couches that were
arranged throughout the room, but couldn’t recall this woman.

“See I told you she wouldn’t remember me,” the woman yelled to a man
that was sitting on the couch, legs crossed and arms defensively over
his chest. The tartan plaid of his pants stood out in contrast to the
white leather sofa.

“What do you expect Franzie, you’re traumatizing the poor girl.”

“I don’t see you over here trying to make nice,” Franchesca shouted
back. Leaning close to Marlena she whispered, “Men, can’t live without
them….I see Forrest has aged quite well.” As she eyed John
appreciatively Marlena was filled with a feeling of déjà vu, as if
sometime long before she had this same conversation with this woman.

John tried to ignore the comment as he looked past the foyer into the
living room filled with Dimeras. He imagined that if he had gone a
high school prom and had to pick his date up at her parents’ house
this would be much of the same feeling. All eyes were on him, watching
and waiting for his next move. No one, save Franchesca had bothered to
move a muscle, including Stefano. In the center of the room he stood,
paying no attention to his guests, only to Marlena.

Checkmate. Stefano had summoned the family as requested and it was
John’s move. His whole life he dreamt of having this power, this
control over Stefano and now that he had it he didn’t want it. He just
wanted to go home to Salem and pretend that the past two years had
never happened, that Marlena was her old self again; that she didn’t
have the memories of her past haunting her. Looking over at Marlena,
John was saddened to see that her confidence seemed to have waned once
again. Eyes downcast towards the floor, she seemed almost embarrassed
to be standing in the midst of the Dimera vultures.

He refused to let her do that to herself knowing full well the toll of
inadequately took on ones psyche. Boy did he ever know. Never
experiencing a father’s love, save for the time he thought he was
Roman Brady, John had spent a lifetime searching for something to fill
the empty void. He had fooled himself into thinking that Marlena had
made him whole, but knew that it was only a matter of time before all
those feelings that he could repress in the name of amnesia came to
the surface.

He needed to be strong for both of them.

“I’m John Black,” he introduced himself as he took Marlena by the hand
and ushered her into the living room, “and this is my wife Dr. Marlena
Evans Black.”

“Wife?” one of the older men on the couch asked as he choked on his
wine. “Wife? Stefano you didn’t say anything about a marriage. Oh dear
god,” the man whispered as he traced with his fingers the figure of
the cross on his forehead, breast and shoulders. Several of the men in
the room followed suit.

“Wife,” John repeated, emphasizing the word and relishing in their
discomfort. John smiled widely at the man and then winked.

“Please do not taunt my guests John,” Stefano stated as he approached
John and Marlena. “You have asked that I summon my family….now that
they are here, what do you want?”

“To set matters straight and arrange for safe passage to Salem old man.”

“Impossible,” a man who looked like and older version of his Uncle
Konstantin finally stood up and said. “This is preposterous what he is
asking…Pazzo.”

“No, its not crazy,” John answered the man as he pointed his index
finger at him in anger. “Each of your actions or failure to act
inevitably created the situation that Marlena and I are now facing and
you either have a choice to fix it or we walk out of here and take our
chances with Interpol.”

“So leave…leave bastardo,” the old man in the plaid pants staid as he
stood up and shook his fist at John.

“Excuse me….” John asked as he moved closer to the feeble man. “What
did you just call me?” The advanced age of the man was the only thing
that kept John from decking him. His blood boiling, John breathed in
deeply and tried to temper his anger.

“Bastardo, that is what you are after all,” the man retorted in anger
before turning to Stefano. “Stefano you have lost your mind?”

“Calm down Gino,” Stefano replied as he calmly placed his hand on the
Gino’s sleeve. “Please do not agitate John.”

Marlena stood helplessly unable and unwilling to assist. The rich tone
of Stefano’s voice was like a fine brandy, warm and comforting. In
contrast, John’s obvious exaggerated behavior frightened her. She
didn’t want to be here anymore and didn’t think that she could go
through with her brazen demand. Why had she made that demand and how
could John foolishly let her think that her plan would work?

“Non patrocinarme Stefano,” Gino said as he jerked his arm out of
Stefano’s grasp and walked up to John and stood before him, looking
him directly in the eyes. “So it is you, so it is you.” Shaking his
head he then turned and walked towards Marlena. “Ah the tragic heroine
of the family has returned. I don’t know whether I should celebrate or
mourn.” Slowly his arthritic fingers reached up and stroked the side
of her face. Marlena closed her eyes as a tear slowly ran down her
cheek. “Bel Julie, Bel Julie.”

“Don’t old man,” John ordered him seeing Marlena’s discomfort. “Don’t
touch her.”

“Stop acting like a brute John. This is her uncle. The man hasn’t seen
her in 30 years or so, what is the harm in a man wanting to reunite
with his niece?” Stefano said as he stood in the same place with an
amused look on his face. All of the melodrama on both sides of the
family kept him entertained. Every person in the room was unwittingly
playing into his plan. He just needed to keep the tension up between
both parties and it only would be a matter of time before the tables
were turned and he was once again in control. Then he would be able to
have his queen by his side. John Black be damned, Marlena belonged
with him.

Gino, finally noticing the look of discomfort on Marlena’s face,
dropped his hand. “It’s good to see you again Julie.”

“Her name is Marlena.”

“She was born Julie Dimera and will die and be buried in the family
plot as Julie Dimera. She is not this woman, what do you call
her….Marlena.”

John was stunned at the audacity of this man. Who the hell did Uncle
Gino think he was? The godfather?

“Gino, what is wrong with you. You don’t see your niece for 30 years
and you’re concerned about her name?” Franchesca said as she put her
arm around Marlena and tried to comfort her. “You don’t worry about
him, I’ll take care of you.” Marlena looked up at the woman
sheepishly, stunned at the surreal situation. Who were these bizarre
people?

“What do you know? You’re a woman…to a man a name is everything. Take
your place on the couch with the other women,” Gino demanded of
Franchesca. Slowly she let go of Marlena but not before she squeezed
her shoulder. Holding her head high she walked over to the couch and
sat down.

“Excuse me?” Marlena said, head snapping up, eyes enraged. “What did
you just say to her?” She couldn’t believe the level of male
chauvinism that ran throughout the room. The testosterone was
overflowing.

“Never mind, bel Julie,” He said as he glared over at Franchesca,
giving her a stern warning with his eyes. She would not embarrass him
again tonight.

“Don’t Uncle Gino, don’t.” Memories of the man passed liked like
shadows through her conscious mind. She remembered him, but really
didn’t. It was more like memories of him, things people had told her
about him over the years. “Please don’t patronize me. I’m not a
six-year-old child anymore. My name is Marlena, not Julie.”

“You’ll have to forgive me, but you’ll always be Julie to me,” Gino
said apologetically, stunned for a moment at the woman’s
straightforwardness.

John stood by and smiled, proud for Marlena standing up for herself in
front of this eclectic group.

“Please try to call me Marlena,” Marlena said as she brushed her
falling blonde hair out of her eyes. There was no sense of being rude;
there had to be a common ground that they could all start from.

“Dimitri, look at her eyes,” Gino motioned to his brother on the
couch. Dimitri put down his glass of cognac and walked over to where
Marlena was standing.

“My god, they’re John’s eyes,” Dimitri said as brushed the hair
further out of her eyes and forced her to look at them. “Why did I not
notice that earlier?”

“They aren’t my eyes,” John muttered as he stepped closer to Marlena.
What was it with this family and touching people? He’d never seen a
group of people so comfortable with violating the personal space of
others.

“Not you,” Stefano muttered as he rolled his eyes, stunned at how
dimwitted John was at times, “she has my brother John’s eyes.”

“No,” Marlena said as she stepped back away from her family. “These
are my eyes.”

“Yes, but you inherited them from your father….I’d know you were his
daughter just by your eyes alone….but my god, the rest of you is a
splitting image of your mother Katherine.”

Marlena gasped at the mention of her mother. When she made the demand
to see the family and arrange safe passage back to Salem the last
thing she ever expected to be discussing were genetics and her
lineage. “Who I look like is moot. I didn’t summon you here for a
family reunion, John and I need to get back to Salem and you’re going
to make that possible,” she demanded, ice in her voice. She was John
Dimeras child after all.

“Impossible,” Konstantin said as he stood up, throwing the newspaper
that he had been reading on the travertine tile floor.

“Impossible.”

“No its not impossible Uncle Konstantin,” John told the man, “With all
the crooks in this family, surely you can come up with a plan. I’m
sure you’ve bribed enough people over the years to be able to make
this happen.”

“Why should we help you at all?” Gino retorted in anger, the icy
blueness of his eyes stood out in stark contrast to his downy hair.

“John betrayed the family….she is no longer one of us and is afforded
no protection. It is utterly preposterous of her to think that we
would help her at all. I am glad to see that she is still alive, but
nothing more.”

“Are you all mad?” Marlena asked him. “One moment you’re welcoming me
to the family and the next moment you are telling me that because of
the actions of John Dimera that you won’t help me…you won’t help us,”
she said gesturing to John.

“The sins of a father are the sins of a child.”

“What kind of heartless people are you?” Marlena asked. “Wait, I
already know.” She was disappointed in them and in herself for
expecting more of them.

“We do not tolerate the betrayal of our own,” Konstantin said as he
approached Marlena. “Do not confuse sympathy for acceptance, it’s a
dangerous thing to do.”

“I’m not asking for acceptance nor do I want it. In fact, I’d prefer
to have nothing to do with this family….”

“Careful Julie,” Dimitri warned her, “Things said in haste are not
easily forgiven.”

“Duly noted Uncle Dimitri,” she responded as she met his gaze. “Look,
I just want to go home to our children, that’s all.”

“Children, they have children?” A feeble woman who looked to be around
ninety years old stated. “No one said anything about children.” Her
accent was so think that Marlena had to strain to understand what she
was saying. Searching the recesses of her mind she failed to come up
with a name for this person or her relationship to the family.

“Mother,” please calm down,“ Stefano said to the woman.

“No one told me about children,” the woman repeated as she shook her
finger at Stefano. “Why you no tell me about children?”

“It wasn’t important.”

“You no get to decide that Stefano….What would your father say?”

“You’re Stefano’s mother?” John asked the woman, stunned at the
apparent revelation.

The woman nodded her head and met his gaze with her own. Indigo blue
eyes met indigo blue eyes. “You are Forrest?” she asked John as she
struggled to get up from the couch. Franchesca made her way over to
help her off the couch. “I’m not helpless girl,” she told Franchesca
as she swatted her hand away. “I can get up myself.” John had to laugh
at the old lady’s determination.

“Forrest?” the woman said as she slowly made her way over to John.
Feet shuffling and the thump of the cane against the tile floor were
the only sounds in the room as all eyes watched the matriarch of the
Dimera family approach John and Marlena. “It is you.”

“Yes mother, Daphne’s bastard child has returned.”

“I have been waiting a lifetime to see you again dear child,” the
woman said as she took John’s hands in hers. The warmth of her fingers
was comforting to John. Why didn’t he remember this woman? “I can see
you have many questions.”

There was something familiar about this woman that John couldn’t put
his finger on. The darkness of her hair, the proud roman nose and most
of all the indigo blue eyes all told him that she was much more than a
step grandmother. Who was she to him? Why didn’t he remember her?

“No mother, there will be no questions for John and Marlena.” Stefano
was adamant, not understanding the way that his mother and John were
looking at each other.

“You my boy do not tell me what to do. You were raised better than
that,” the old woman said defiantly as she pulled her hand out of
Stefano’s grasp. “I’d like to speak to Forrest in private.”

“There is no time,” Stefano said, obviously uncomfortable by the turn
in the conversation. Stefano looked over at his brothers for their
assistance. The last thing he needed was his mother bonding with John
Black. Death to both of them before that would happen.

“Why should we help them Stefano?”

“Because my,” Stefano started then stopped when he realized that he
was about to call her his queen. “Because Marlena knows the
combination of the safe?”

“What?”

“Is this true?” Dimitri asked Marlena.

“Yes.”

“How?”

“Does it matter how she knows it?” John asked, wanting to stop this
line of questioning before Marlena was forced to reveal painful
elements of her past to these strangers.

“I guess not, but how do we know that she’s not lying.”

“I’m not and my word is all you have. Look, I’m tired of running from
Interpol, the ISA, NSA and the countless other agencies that have been
after me….I just want to go home. Stefano has the details of the
deal.”

“She can be trusted,” Stefano assured the group.

“How much of the money do we have to give to her?”

“I don’t want your money,” Marlena told the group.

“Everyone wants money.”

“Not me…I consider it blood money and want nothing to do with it. You
use your contracts to provide me safe passage to Salem and its yours,”
Marlena told them as she looked over at John. He was staring intently
at Mrs. Dimera. “I don’t want to know the details of who you have to
bribe or payoff….that’s your business, not mine. I want to leave
tonight.”

“That’s not enough time,” Dimitri told her. “I don’t know what kind of
power you think we have.”

“I don’t think you have….I know you have the power. After all you are
Dimeras, I would expecting nothing less.”

“I believe you’ve been watching too many of your American movies.
We’re not the Corleones.”

“No your power is greater. I have seen first hand the things that
Stefano is capable of,” Marlena started but then stopped as the memory
of him manipulating her into sleeping with him invaded her mind. “He
is but one and there are fifteen of you in this room…together I’m sure
you’ll think of something….Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to finish
packing. You have two hours to come up with a plan.” Turning her back
to them she walked back into the foyer and towards the staircase.

“And just so that you don’t try to set us up once we leave here,” John
said to the group as he followed Marlena. “Franchesca and your mother
are going with us.”

Chapter 4

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up
and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch
and work: You don’t give up.” Anne Lamott

“How are you feeling pretty lady?” John asked as he sat down next to
Marlena on the grey leather sofa that held so many memories for them
both. It was on this very couch that they began a tumultuous affair
that ended her marriage. It was on this couch that John learned of the
horrific abuse that Marlena suffered at the hands of her father and it
was on this couch that they were going home. Life had come full circle
for both of them in more ways than one.

“I’m fine,” Marlena said as she shrugged her shoulders and continued
to look out the window. The presence of Stefano’s mother and Aunt
Franchesca were disconcerting. Since they left the villa a little more
than five hours before, the women had said little to Marlena or to
John. Whispered phrases in a language Marlena had long since forgotten
surprisingly brought comfort and apprehension. John on the other hand
spoke the language fluently and was able to converse with both women
when needed. Silently Marlena sat and watched as life seemed to go on
without her. She felt like a pawn in her own game.

“Are you really?” he asked as he played with a strand of her golden
locks, watching as the suns rays reflected off the shafts.

“Of course,” she admitted as she smiled at him trying to hide the fear
and apprehension that she felt. “I’ll be fine.” Everything that she
knew to be true wasn’t. Her whole life, her whole existence and all
her relationships had been lies. Lies she told herself, lies she told
others and lies that she wasn’t ready to admit were lies.

“Talk to me then.”

“About what?” She didn’t want to look at him and see her own lies
reflected in his eyes. If she said the words and didn’t look at him it
wasn’t really a lie. For so many years she told herself and believed
it.

“About what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.” John still cared
so much about her and her feelings that it pained Marlena that she
couldn’t be totally honest with him.

“John, not in front of them,” she whispered as she nodded in the
direction of Mrs. Dimera and Franchesca. She couldn’t have this
conversation in front of their guests and wasn’t sure if she could
have it with John either. How could she explain the apprehension that
she felt over facing all their family and friends. Now that people
knew the truth about her would they treat her the same? Would they
accept her as the old Marlena? Would they look at her with
ever-present sympathy in their eyes? Would they see her as something
less than what she was before? Would she forever more be seen as the
victim? Would she be seen as a murderer? Would they see her as a bad
mother for abandoning her children in their time of greatest need?
Would they still love and accept her?

“Marlena,” John whispered tenderly as he tipped her chin up and forced
her to look at him. “I promise you that it’s going to be alright.” He
would spend his last moment on earth protecting her and making things
right, making her alright.

“Not here,” Marlena whispered as she tried to hold her composure. She
couldn’t do this in front of these strangers.

Looking over at the women, John was met with curious stares. Both
women were clothed from head to toe in thick black wool coats that
Stefano had insisted that they wear. Winter is Salem was unpredictable
at best and Stefano wanted to make sure that both women were
protected. Gorgeous silk scarves in muted tones covered their heads.

“They are staring at me,” Marlena whispered, stating the obvious.

“Can you blame them?” John joked not really understanding what issue
Marlena was having with the presence of the women now. For the past
five hours the women had done little but stare at them both, refusing
to talk to either one of them in English. John had tried, with limited
success, to talk to both of them in Italian but short terse responses
were his only reward.

“Stop it John,” Marlena warned him, her voice barely audible above the
hum of the jets engines. The indigo blue eyes that watched her from
across the plane had her on edge.

“What do you want me to do about it?” John asked trying to lighten the
mood. He understood that Marlena had a lot of her mind but was at a
loss as to how to help her. He couldn’t very well ask the women to
leave. They were unwilling prisoners as it was and he didn’t want to
make the situation worse.

“Make them stop…it’s creepy.”

“What else do you expect them to do Marlena?”

“Read a book…watch a movie….sleep? Anything but sitting there and
staring at me,” she suggested, not understanding how either woman
could just sit there and stare. Aunt Franchesca had been so friendly
to her at the villa but was giving her the cold shoulder now. Marlena
had tried to engage her in conversation and make the situation less
than what it was, a hostage situation, but to no avail.

“Would you like me to tell them to stop?”

“Yes,” she joked, grateful for the diversion. As long as they were
discussing the Dimera women she didn’t have to deal with her real
issues; the overwhelming pain that her insecurity was feeding. She
thought that by accepting her past she could move forward, but she was
wrong. Acceptance was nothing compared to going home and facing life,
a life that had moved on in her absence. A life that may not be as
kind and forgiving as she would have liked. Feeling like she had to
hide her authentic self, she longed to be accepted for who she truly
was.

“Okay,” John said as he got up from his seat and started to walk over
to the women. “Wait John,” Marlena told him as she grabbed onto his
hand to stop him. Looking over at the two women on the couch she felt
guilty. “Don’t. I’m fine.”

“It’s your choice,” he said as he sat back down. Looking over at the
women. John was content to stare back at them. Although they were
Marlena’s relatives, they meant absolutely nothing to him. Absolutely
nothing. John was convinced that they were complicit in the plot to
destroy and eliminate him. Even If they hadn’t helped Stefano
brainwash him years ago they should have known something was up. You
don’t go on vacation with family members and go home without them.
Both of them were guilty. Three could play this game.

“How much longer is it going to be?” Marlena asked as she looked at
her expensive Rolex watch, a gift from John years ago. John sat next
to her staring at the women.

“Are you bored Mrs. Black?” John asked as he moved closer to Marlena,
close enough that the sides of their thighs were touching. He liked
how uncomfortable Mrs. Dimera became when he moved closer to Marlena.
Slowly he placed his hand on top of Marlena’s bare knee and stroked it
with his index finger up and down as he watched Mrs. Dimera’s eyes go
wide.

“More like anxious.” John moved closer to her.

“Well I know of a couple things we could do to pass the time back in
the bedroom,” John whispered into Marlenas ear as he slowly licked the
rim of her earlobe. He heard the hitch in her breathing and knew that
he was arousing her. He deliberately looked over at Mrs. Dimera and
met her stare with his own.

“John,” Marlena moaned, forgetting that they weren’t alone.

“Yeah baby,” he whispered as he slowly took her face in his hands and
descended upon her mouth. She felt the tip of his tongue as it slowly
touched her lips seeking entrance. Involuntarily her eyes closed and
her lips parted. Waiting with anticipation she could taste rum on the
tip of her tongue. Slowly as his tongue made its way into her mouth
Marlena felt one of John’s hands snake its way into the inside of her
thigh. The gentle exploration of his tongue became much harder and
frenzied as John sought to possess her. Dueling back, Marlena fought
for control as she forced his tongue back into his mouth with the
pressure of her own.

She wanted him. She needed him. She needed to make him her own.
Grabbing the side of his face with her hands, she moved her body to
straddle him. The linen of her skirt rose up tentatively around her
waist and she made no move to cover her pantyhose clad backside.
Dimera women be dammed, John was going to be hers.

“Got them to stop staring at you,” John whispered into her mouth as he
forced her tongue back inside her mouth with her own. He could feel
the accelerated breathing of her heart against his chest. God her
wanted her.

Slowly his hands made their way from the sides of the couch were he
was trying to control himself to the sides of her hips. God did he
love the feel of her hips. Even though she’d lost a lot of weight over
the past year and at times looked skeletal, the feel of her hips
hadn’t changed.

“Not here,” she whispered, keenly aware of his arousal.

“Bedroom?” he asked as his hands worked to lift her silk blouse out of
the waistband of her skirt. Why couldn’t she wear more practical and
easily accessible clothes? Honestly he’d prefer her to be naked all
the time and accessible sexually twenty-four hours a day but knew that
wasn’t realistic. She had to sleep sometime.

“Too obvious,” she said as she leaned into him and allowed John to
assault her neck with kisses.

“Bathroom?”

“Been there and done that,” Marlena moaned as John lightly nipped at her neck.

“Cockpit?” John asked as he looked over Marlena’s shoulder and
returned Mrs. Dimera’s stare.

“Now there’s an idea,” Marlena moaned and then started laughing.

“What are you laughing about?”

“The word cockpit….I’ll show you my cockpit,” Marlena said as she
reached over and brazenly grabbed John by his groin and ran her hand
up and down his quickly growing shaft. The scent of her arousal
permeated the small cabin.

In perfect English Franchesca interrupted them, “My mother and I are
tired, we’re going to get some rest in the bedroom.”

“I’m sorry,” Marlena said as she jerked her hand down, embarrassed to
have been caught in such a compromising position. “I forgot you were
there.”

Franchesca said nothing as she and Mrs. Dimera extricated themselves
from the embarrassing situation as soon as possible. Marlena watched
as they shut the door behind them.

“Oh God John, I’m so embarrassed,” Marlena moaned and as she climbed
off of John.

“Not so fast,” John replied as he grabbed onto her hips and tried to
hold her in place.

“The moment has passed,” Marlena admitted as she removed John’s hands
from her hips and climbed over him and sat down next to him leaning
back against the arm of the couch. “Did you see the look in Mrs.
Dimera’s eyes? That women does not like me,”

“Come one honey,” John pleaded with her.

“No John.”

“But I’m all hot and bothered now.”

“So…the bathroom is over there.”

“No,” she whispered, afraid that they were listening. “They’ll know
what we are doing.”

“So.”

“So I care.”

“You didn’t care a couple of minutes ago when you grabbed little john
and made him very happy. Come on baby, little John misses you.”

“It’s not going to kill little John to go one day without some.”

“You don’t know that,” John blurted out in mock horror, “It just might
baby.” Reaching over John stroked the bottom of Marlena’s bare foot,
“Don’t take away that which little John loves the most.”

“You and your walking erection…gees.”.

“Hey if you were a man and had a women that looked like you you’d be
the same way.”

“Thanks…I think that was a complement.”

“It was…come on baby.” John continued to seductively stroke the bottom
of her foot. “What about a quickie?”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Pretty please.”

“No.”

“Pretty please with sugar on top.”

“No.”

“Pretty please with sugar on top and a new diamond ring as a token of
my appreciation once we get to Salem?”

“Oh alright, you drive a hard bargain…but it’s a quickie…no clothes off.”

“You sure are a demanding woman lately?”

“Are you complaining?”

“Hell no, boss me around…I’ll be your slave,” John told Marlena as he
crawled on top of her and proceeded to devour her with kisses.

********************************************

As the plane made it’s way to Salem across the star filled night sky
the co-pilot made his way into the small plane bathroom, passing John
and Marlena who were resting comfortably in each others arms.

“Alex its me….we’re on our way back to Salem….ETA two hours.”