John walked into their bedroom and found Marlena curled up on the sofa, fast asleep. His heart breaking, he knelt down and brushed her hair off her face.
Hush, close your eyes
And I’ll keep you safe
“Seems like I’m forever saying sorry. But I never meant for this to happen.” He searched her face, now unlined from the anger and the fear of the past few hours.
Allow you to weep
And sing you to sleep
Covering her up, he checked the time on his watch and went to look out the window. As the rain pattered against the glass, he remembered another time when love healed a broken heart. HIS broken heart.
Don’t be afraid
Remember I’m here
She was always with him. A smile came over his face as he remembered caressing her cheek in front of a fire, answering how did he know by saying that very sentence. He moved away from the window and looked at her sleeping. Marlena was true grace in that she never pushed, only wanting the best for him.
The noise in the street
Will soon disappear
There was something indescribable about the magic she wielded when it came to him. He chuckled as a line from a novel of Marlena’s came to mind. That she truly was the better part of him. Filling out the man, polishing him as the wave over time does to the roughest stone.
When the soft face of mercy
Is lost behind a veil
Marlena rolled over as the door closed and opened her eyes. Sitting up, she dried her eyes. Lately the two of them became agile performers in the art of pretending. John pretending that their life and love were as before. Marlena, pretending that she didn’t want to harm Hope and that the dreams of forever were still intact.
I will stay with eyes open
Stay here with eyes open
To watch over you
And take away the sadness and the fear
She had left town for a few days after the revelations of just what truly had gone on, coming home only to make an announcement of her own. That while they were in the middle of the worst crisis to hit the family, there was a tiny miracle to hold on to.
Hide in my arms
And dream golden dreams
John smiled at the memory of Marlena’s announcing that sometime in July, exactly one year from their wedding, they’d have a miracle baby.
Marlena smiled as she laid her hand on her stomach, the only thing she had to focus on outside of the other children.
Forgetting the world
Of men and machines
“All children deserve to have a loving family.” His voice shattered the peace she had as it came up behind her. “Doc, please let us be that for our baby.” She turned around and saw him standing in the doorway, watching her with haunted eyes.
When the soft eyes of mercy
Are blinded by the dark
She shook her head. “I can’t deny you this. I know how much it hurt you when you missed Belle. But John, I can’t give you all you’re wanting. I can’t be with you without wondering and this is NOT the situation that I need to have to deal with while I’m pregnant. So we’re going to have to take it one step at a time.”
I will stay with eyes open
Stay here with eyes open
He nodded. “Okay, sounds fair.” She blinked. “That was too easy.”
To watch over you
And take away the sadness and the fear
They both smiled, wondering over how things could have strayed so far and yet with smiles feel so much the same as they had ever been.
(Song is by October Project)
The Jarlena Journal 