Marlena glanced down at the fourth finger of her left hand and sighed when she saw the band of white skin where her ring used to be. She couldn’t stop the flood of tears from tumbling down her cheeks as she realised that she would never see John again… she would never be able to tell him how she really felt about him. That the divorce was something that she thought that HE wanted. She remembered back to when he had approached her with the papers, angrily waving them in front of her face. His words, that she hadn’t believed at the time, but that now sounded so much like what she wanted to hear. “It’s not Kate that I want… it’s YOU!” She tried to block out the image of the pain that crossed his features as she handed her rings back to him. But maybe she was just imagining it… now that things seemed so hopeless. Maybe, believing that he loved her was the only thing that had allowed her to survive for this long.
She felt herself pushed forwards roughly and she stumbled and fell onto her knees. She could hear cursing escaping from her captor, and she could feel the pain in her head from where it banged against the wall. She tried to control her whimpers as she felt the full force of the mans fist where it slammed against her cheek. “Get up bitch…” he spat. Marlena couldn’t even be bothered fighting him… she was tired of the struggle… tired of losing out. And now that she had lost John, there was no point any longer. She was still angry with him, but somehow, right now, all she wanted was to see him again.
She was relieved when they finally came to a stop, her weak legs unable to go on any longer. She hardly even noticed her surroundings, except for the fact that it was almost pitch black and reeked of stale water. She didn’t notice that the water just lined the floor, as if someone had mopped the dirty concrete. Or the moss that grew in the moist conditions. Her captor pushed her downwards so that she found herself in a kneeling position… and she was indignant. She felt as though, at any moment, he would expect her to beg for her life. But as tired as Marlena was, she would not beg anyone… she would not allow her spirit to be so violated. She whimpered as she felt her hands pulled brutally behind her and enclosed into metal handcuffs. And as her captor left the room, she could only hear the sound of her own heart pounding, her heavy breathing, and the
relentless droplets of water that escaped from a crack in the ceiling of the dungeon.
She tried to move, but realised with horror that she had somehow been restrained to a pole in the centre of the room. Finding a new strength she screamed for help, straining her wrists against the cold unyielding metal of the handcuffs… the searing pain as they tore her flesh causing her to grind her teeth almost mechanically. She could feel the tangled mess that had become her once golden hair as it hung limply down her shoulders, and her face ached from the inflicted wounds from her captor. She looked down and surveyed her clothes… the white linen skirt and pink top now covered with dirt from traipsing around in the underground dungeons.
She had dressed this way for HIM. Yesterday morning, she had tried her best to look good for him. He was only coming to pick up his things… at her request… but somehow, Marlena had hoped that maybe he would see her, and he would realise what he was missing out on. That he would beg her to take him back. Marlena knew that even though she was still angry at the way he had treated her on her return… she would have fallen into his arms in an instant. Maybe she would have made him beg her, but still, they would have ended up together. She felt the tears fall down her face, this time in silent lines, that ran skin coloured streaks through the dirt that had gathered across her beautiful features. At least John wasn’t here to see her now though. In the state that she was in, Marlena knew that she wouldn’t be able to win back anything.
She allowed herself to calm down and finally all that remained was the deafening silence of before. She closed her eyes, hoping that she would be able to succumb to her fate, before he came back and made her wish that she was dead. It was then that she heard the sound of life. Her eyes widened with sheer terror as she imagined what it could be. The ragged breathing that could have belonged to any number of things. Her heart thumped and she felt as though she would faint right there against the pole. And then she realised that it was closer than she first had realised. She felt her blood boil and she couldn’t help the scream that sounded from her lungs… the scream that echoed from the hollow walls of the dungeon and reverberated back to her eardrums. And as she felt her body go limp from fear, she felt a warm hand behind her, gripping hers, and she sunk into oblivion.
“Honey… honey… wake up…” His voice infiltrated her senses, like a dream. And she indulged in the fantasy, letting her eyes remain closed as she savoured the feeling of his hands grasping hers, his beloved voice calling her into consciousness. Marlena fought it as long as possible, not willing to wake up to find him gone… but as she stirred, the sheer humanity of his hand was too real… and somehow she knew that she was not dreaming. “John…” His name came out in a strangled tone, between relief and absolute terror. And John felt her need and squeezed her hand with all of the comfort and sincerity and love that he had ever felt for his beautiful wife. Soon to be ex-wife. John gulped as he thought about the nights that he would have to endure without his beloved Marlena by his side. And until today… until he had heard her sweet cries in the dungeon… he had not even realised the depth of his feelings that still existed for her. He had never wanted to lose her… he had never wanted the divorce… but he had
treated her unforgivably and John knew that he had no right to ask her to stay.
Now, it seemed that they wouldn’t even have the chance to live their lives.
“Doc… calm down honey…” He spoke in a raspy voice, parched from lack of water and air. He could hear her sobs and he could feel her body tremble… centred at where their hands joined. “John, why is this happening to us? Why again? Why can’t they just leave us alone?” She craned her neck so that she could see him, but through the darkness, she could see nothing, and just knowing that he was there wasn’t enough to comfort her.
“Marlena… I need you to calm down! Remember how good we are as a team? Remember Maison Blanche? Remember Aremid? Remember West Virginia? Now that we are together, we are going to get out of here, honey! You have to believe that…”
Marlena let her head slump and her neck rolled forwards. She mumbled her reply. “I don’t know what to believe any more John. Once I would have eaten up every sweet word that came out of your mouth… but now… things have changed.” She pulled her hand from his and instantly regretted it.
“I WON’T let you talk like that. Where is the strong Doc that I have always known, huh? Now I need you to do something for me… I need you to reach as far back as you can. In my pocket there is a knife. If you can put it in my hand, I can cut the ropes that are tying me to this pole.” Marlena felt her heart flutter as John’s hand came back into contact with hers. And she had hope that she could do this. “You with me, baby?” His words reached the very depths of her heart and she gulped and replied her assent.
“OK, now do it slowly, sweetheart. If you drop it, we lose…” Marlena cut him off with an angry word. “I KNOW…” This situation was grating on her nerves, and the last thing she needed was John putting more pressure on her, than she was already putting on herself. She reached backwards into his pocket, and found herself startled by the thoughts that ran through her head, distracting her from her task. The feeling of his tight bottom beneath her fingertips… she almost had to resist herself from squeezing the luscious muscle. What she wouldn’t give right now to be at home with him… connecting in the way that had always made their relationship special.
John’s eyes fluttered closed involuntarily. The feeling of her hand on him was almost too much to bear… it was a feeling that he had never believed that he would feel again. He held his breath as the moment seemed to last for a lifetime… he briefly allowed himself to entertain thoughts that maybe Marlena did love him. Why else would she have lingered with her hand in his pocket? And he almost laughed at the absolute inappropriate nature of the thoughts that filled his mind. Of her… lying naked beneath him… writhing in absolute pleasure, as he pounded her into oblivion. They were so out of place in this situation… so unnecessary. Right now, he would give anything just to hold her in his arms one last time… to have her say that she loved him. He didn’t need sex from her… yet she always invaded his thoughts. His pure lust for her, and hers for him… was something that had always made their devoted relationship so unique.
John shook himself from his thoughts, as finally the warmth of her hand left his pocket. “You got it, baby?” He tried not to sound too anxious. He did not want to upset Marlena if she had failed to retrieve the knife that could possibly give them their freedom. “Give me a break, John. I’ve got it… open your hand…” John stretched his palm open and felt the cold metal of the knife drop into it. His hand closed around hers and the knife, and they both breathed a sigh of relief.“You did it… Doc… I knew you could do it…” He spoke excitedly as he started on the ropes.“I guess we still make a good team after all…” Marlena rested her head against the pole and closed her eyes, waiting for John to finish his task. Physical exhaustion had finally caught up with her. The concentration required by that task had proven to be a struggle.
It seemed like such a long time before John got himself free, and Marlena found herself floating between consciousness and the dream world. Occasionally, she thought that he was talking to her, but she couldn’t be sure. Everything seemed so unreal. With a triumphant cry, John released the ropes that tied him and he jumped up from where he sat crouched on the ground behind Marlena. With his sound, she snapped back into full consciousness and smiled when she felt his hands encircle her wrists. Now they would get out of here.
Marlena didn’t even realise that something was wrong, until she heard John choke back a strangled sob. She was vaguely aware of his hands on her wrists, and the slight sting of pain from where the handcuffs had cut deep as she struggled. “John…” Her heart pounded with fear as she felt his lips press against her wrists, the heat of the caress almost taking away her pain. “What is it?” Her words were whispered, as if they had never even left her mouth, but somehow they reached his ears. “I can’t free you… your handcuffs are metal… and you are chained to the pole.” John considered facing her when he told her, but somehow he couldn’t bear to see the fear in her eyes, the disappointment that he had let her down yet again. His lips moved feverishly over her injured wrists, as he tried to calm the terror that he knew was in her, and the pounding of his own heart, by the intimate gesture.
“J… John…” Her face was as white as a ghost, her hazel eyes wide, and tears slowly seeping down her face. She tried to calm herself, but she could feel his fear in the desperation of his kisses, and suddenly, uncontrolled sobs ebbed from her entire body. She shook violently, and her body doubled over in anguish. In an instant he was in front of her, his strong arms engulfing her body, as he rocked her. Marlena allowed him to comfort her, and she pressed her face into his naked chest, her tears spilling over his skin. His hands laced through her hair as he brought her closer to him, and his lips hovered over her head as he held her as if for the last time. “I will get you out of here… I promise… I won’t let anything happen to you…” They stayed like that for long moments, savouring the feeling of being in one another’s arms, not talking… just existing… together as they should have always been.
And then, she felt the change in him, the increase in his pulse as he raised himself up, and stood. She knew that he had to do this… but she couldn’t bear it. She tried to pull her arms up towards him, but her shackles prevented it, and Marlena could do nothing but let out a loud wail. She couldn’t stand to think that that might have been the last time that they would ever be in each others arms again. John could sense her desperation and he bent back down and placed a tender kiss on her dirty cheek. “I am just going to look for something to free you… I promise that I won’t leave you…” She couldn’t even move as her entire body ached. And she tried to keep her eyes focussed on John as he moved around the room.
She felt herself shivering uncontrollably, and she felt as though her legs would break beneath her, in her uncomfortable kneeling position. “Hold on baby… close your eyes…” John brought a heavy weight down onto the chains that bound her, again and again and again. And when it didn’t work, with his own bare hands, he tore at the handcuffs, bruising his own flesh in his desperation to get Marlena out. What he wouldn’t do to trade places with her right now. And John also knew something that she didn’t… that when the tide came in, the water would continue to rise… and then… she would drown. But he couldn’t bear the thought of telling her that… he didn’t even know how he could. He could see her exhaustion and he instantly was at her side, cradling her to him. Taking both of her legs, he pulled them out from underneath her, and then slid his own body beneath her, so that she was sitting on his lap. He heard her soft whimper as she lay her head against his chest. And he massaged her trembling knees that ached from kneeling for such a prolonged period.
He wasn’t prepared for her scream as she finally realised what the incessant drip of water from the ceiling was. “Oh God… we are going to die… John…” She thrashed in his arms as the revelation hit her. “I am going to die…” She spoke that more softly as John crushed her into his embrace, trying so desperately to quiet her fears. He wished that she didn’t know… that together they could just go peacefully… in each others arms. But now she fought him. “You have to GO… John, you have to save yourself.” She murmured the words into his chest, knowing that it was the only way. She couldn’t let him wait here and die with her… he had too much to live for. And as much as the thought of dying alone terrified her… she couldn’t let him sacrifice himself for her. “I am NOT leaving you.” He only held her closer as though she might suffocate in his mbrace.
But then she became wild, her angry tears flying down her cheeks. She pushed at his chest with her body, and strained at the chains that bound her, and kicked at him any way she could. “GO… JUST GO… LEAVE ME HERE…” And her face became flushed with anger… at him… at herself… and at the thought of dying. “I don’t even belong to you any more. You don’t have to PRETEND to love me anymore.” She thought that by saying the words, he would be hurt, and that he would leave her.
But it only made him more determined. He grabbed her shoulders and squeezed her upper arms tightly. “ENOUGH,” he demanded, and all at once, for a brief moment, she was silent. John took the opportunity to pull her towards him and his lips met hers for a desperate, but long-awaited kiss. He meant to withdraw right away, but Marlena pushed herself forward and probed at his mouth with an insistent tongue, and suddenly they found themselves lost in the passion that enveloped them, their tongues dancing together in an exquisite, erotic dance, that was filled with bittersweet desperation. His hands reached behind her to lace with hers, now trembling from the pain of the blood that had spilled from where the handcuffs dug into her flesh. And as they drew apart, John rested his forehead against hers and whispered the words that he had been dying to say. “It was always you Doc… I will NEVER love anyone the same way that I love
you… and you will ALWAYS be in my heart… believe that…”
She sobbed as her cheek pressed against his. “It sounds so… so… FINAL… John, this can’t be the end.” She pleaded with him to tell her that it would be okay… and if he would say it, Marlena knew that she would believe it. Her eyes searched for his, and she caught the intensity of his stare… as if his blue eyes were drinking her in… creating a picture of her in his mind that would last for an eternity. “John?” Her lower lip quivered.
“Baby… you should know by now that NOTHING is ever final for us. Even death won’t part us… one day we will find each other again… just like we always have on earth.”
“Oh God… John… I LOVE you…” Her lips searched for his, and John indulged her, meeting her mouth and savouring the sweetness that she reserved for him. And around them, the water had started to rise.
“Make love to me John… I need to feel you one last time…” She breathed the words into his chest, and she couldn’t be sure where they came from. It wasn’t merely lust, but a love that would last for all eternity… a need to become one with the man she loved more than life itself. “Marlena… I don’t think…” But she cut him off.
“I need THIS… I need YOU…” Her lips fluttered over his chest and a desperate hunger began to float around them. Suddenly they were filled with a passion so strong, like they had never felt before. And their mouths met, in a flood of devotion… the pent up passion and lust and desire and love… all meeting in this simple caress. Their tongues mated, slowly, sensually… rushed and yet unhurried. They wanted to savour each other… just once more. And the intensity was mind-blowing.
John circled around her, placing her on the ground as he found her shackled wrists, and he kissed each and every inch, tasting her blood and cringing… yet, needing to somehow share in her pain. Then his tongue traced up her arms and found her shoulders and neck. He reached over her and unbuttoned her shirt, realising that he could not take it off due to her bound wrists. “Tear it off John…” She breathed as she sensed his frustration. But John would not… he refused to debase the woman he loved with such a gesture at this hour. His rough hands traced her collarbone ever so gently and his lips slowly nibbled and kissed at the skin at the base of her throat. And then he began to move his mouth over her, with a sweeping of his hot tongue. His lips found hers again and for a while they were content to kiss… soft throaty moans sounding from the backs of their throats, yet their arousal was so bittersweet. Marlena couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to touch his hot skin, but there was nothing that she could do. She writhed as John’s hands found her breasts, as he gently unhooked her bra, and began to slowly and sensuously massage her soft flesh. Then he dipped his head and circled her nipples with his tongue, before taking each one in his mouth and sucking and kissing it so erotically. Then she moaned deeply as his hands found her skirt and pulled it off, along with her panties, and his mouth made its way down to her abdomen, and his hands began the slow ascent back up the inside of her thighs. And as his tongue flicked lightly over her clitoris, his fingers reached her entrance, and he pushed first one finger, and then two, inside her. He almost pushed her over the edge with his movements, but he stopped when he heard Marlena’s desperate pleas. “John, honey, please… come here. I want to taste you…” He couldn’t deny her. And he came up and took her mouth with his own, and she could taste herself on him. Then she let her head drop and she licked his neck and his chest. “Come closer baby… I need you closer…” Her tongue encircled his nipple and she heard him shudder with delight, moaning her
name as he jerked forward, his erect member straining for release.
“Please, I want you inside me…” She gasped as she felt his involuntary contractions.
“Marlena… I don’t want to hurt you…” John gazed down at her with concern and absolute love shining from his sea blue eyes.
“You won’t… I NEED this…” He removed his pants and slowly eased himself inside her, grasping her back so that he wouldn’t cause her any unnecessary discomfort. And when she had adjusted to him, he slowly moved inside her, with small but powerful thrusts, and his lips secured to hers. “Faster John…” Their need escalated and John started moving faster inside her, and she tried to meet his thrusts with her bound body. She could feel the water rising up around her, and slowly it began to cover where they were joined together. And tears ran down her cheeks as she orgasmed… her sweet release… and she sobbed his name, as he came with her. And as soon as they had stopped shaking… the waves of orgasm passing, John found her clothes and dressed her again, smoothing out her hair and kissing her cheek and lips time and time again. He was drinking her in. And he eased his body beneath hers so that she was again cradled on his lap, and they lay there in silence for long moments, the cold water surrounding them.
“I’ll always be your wife, you know that, right?” She spoke into his warm chest, as the iciness of the cold water engulfed her. She could almost see a sparkle in John’s eye as she gazed up at him from where she lay against him, and he reached into his jeans pocket. He pressed a small object into her hand, and Marlena gazed at in in wonder. “I never gave up on us, you know! I knew that even if you gave up on me… I would always love you…” Marlena smiled and slipped the gold wedding band back over her finger, and then she relaxed back into his embrace.
The tears flowed slowly from her cheeks and fell, pooling with the slowly rising waters. “You know… waiting here to die… I just… somehow I feel… calm… knowing that you will be with me…” Marlena tucked her head into John’s neck and sighed deeply. “But I want you to promise me something?” She looked up at him. “I want you to promise me, that as soon as the water covers me… that you will get out of here… that you will fight to live…”
“Marlena… I…” John’s heart broke and he knew that he couldn’t promise her that. If she died, then so did his reason for living. If both of them didn’t make it out of here alive, then he would make sure that neither of them did.
He kissed her one last time as the water rose up and over her head, and as much as John tried to fight it… and to hold onto her… the buoyancy of the water wouldn’t allow it… and he found himself floating upwards. The last thing he remembered was her struggling body, and her face as it looked up at him from underneath the water, and then her eyes closing as she willed herself to succumb to her fate.
*****************************
He woke up to the whirring of machines all around him… and he could see Kate standing above him, her gaze so full of concern. He blinked as he tried to remember what had happened, and suddenly his whole body began to writhe as he envisioned his Marlena drowning in the waters of the dungeon. Kate tried to calm him, by speaking soothing words into his ear, but John screamed and yelled, not wanting to be alive… not willing to face a life alone… without his beautiful Doc. He glanced down at his left hand and noticed the absence of his wedding band, and he broke down into wretched sobs as he realised that his last link to Marlena was gone, buried in a vast ocean… just like her.
He wrenched the drip from his wrist and jumped up, and like a wild animal he tore down the corridor. Then as the wave of nausea hit him, he slumped to the floor, desperate, choked, anguished sobs escaping him. The sound was almost inhuman.
And then, like a sudden bolt of lightening, he felt a soft hand on his, and he could feel that unmistakable trembling. John almost didn’t want to look up, for fear that she wouldn’t be there. But he could see her white hand, and the dried blood and bandages that wrapped her wrists, seemed too much like reality. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?” He heard her sweet, playful voice, raspy from the struggle in the water, and he looked up. And when he saw her beautiful hazel eyes shining down at him, he pulled her towards him, and crushed her in his embrace, not caring how injured either of them were… just needing to feel that this… that SHE was real. And together they sobbed into each others arms in the hospital corridor… the overpowering emotion of relief and everlasting love filling them up.
And finally after long moments, Marlena helped him up off the floor, and led him back to his room, and pulled the covers up over his exhausted body. John pulled her to him and together they fell into a deep sleep on his bed… content and finally together.
“I will NOT let you die…” He ducked back under the water and swam down to where her fragile body was still struggling to breathe. And with a superhuman strength, he tore at the shackles that bound her wrists to the unrelenting pole. He could see her starting to lose the battle for life and he placed his lips over hers and filled her lungs with all of the air that he still had left in his. Then he went back up for air… and he sucked in as much as he could, just as the water began to hit the ceiling of the dungeon. He tried again, and with all of the strength of his love, the shackles broke free, and he pulled her with him as he swam for safety.
The Jarlena Journal 