Never-Ending Love – By Mellimel

“Christopher? What’s wrong?” Catherine walked over to him and placed her slender hand on his shoulder. “Christopher?”

“I’m sorry, what?

“Where did you go?”

He looks as her, blue eyes filled with confusion “Oh, I was just thinking that’s all. Why? What’s up?”

“You forgot we had a plans tonight didn’t you?” She crosses her arms giving him a questionable look. “You know, this isn’t the first time you’ve done this”

“I’m sorry. I’ve just been really busy with work lately.”

“You always seem to be too busy with work. You spend more time in this office than you do with your own fiancée” She turned around quickly and headed towards the door.

“Catherine, wait please” He stands up and walks over to the door gently closing it.

“Please let me make it up to you, anything you want. Just name it, it’s yours” He looks at her with pleading eyes.

“I just want to spend some time with you”

“How about you and I take a little trip somewhere. How does that sound?”

Her eyes light up but quickly dim. “What about your work?”

“I think I can swing it. I’ll have to check with the boss though” giving her a little smile

She starts to laugh “You are the boss though”

“Oh that’s right I am. I guess that means we’re taking a trip then”

She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him softly on the lips.

“Do you have any idea how happy you make me?”

“About as happy as you make me. I’m so grateful you came into my life. You were there when I had no recollection of who I was. I still don’t but here you are loving me” A tear falls from his eye and she wipes it away softly with her thumb.

She speaks softly “It still hurts that you don’t know who you are even after all these years doesn’t it?” There’s a slight pause before he speaks “Sometimes I feel I have all I need. I have a great life, a great job and a woman whom I love. But other times, I feel so empty so incomplete and I crave to find the pieces that will fill it. Can you understand?”

She smiles “Of course I can. It’s only natural that you would want to find those missing pieces. To remember who you were. The young man you used to be. Just know I will be there for you if you do remember.”

He smiles and takes her hands and plants soft kisses on her knuckles “Thank you, Come on let’s go” He grabs his jacket and turns off the light closing the door behind him. Taking her hand they make their way out of the building into the cool night air.

 

He slowly turns toward her.

“So where do you want to go on our little trip?”

“Well…I was recently talking with some old family friends from when I lived out in California. I used to hang around one of their daughters growing up. She just moved from LA to a small town in the Midwest. We’ve kept in touch but I haven’t seen her in years. I would really love to see her.”

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to see her then”

“Great!” She gives him a passionate kiss “We’ll have the best time you wait and see!”

He chuckled. He loved seeing her so happy and excited. Taking her hand again they started walking to her car.

“And where might this small town be?”

She looked at him with a twinkle in her eye. “Salem”

He stopped dead in his tracks. “Salem?” A sudden feeling of familiarity washed over him.

“Christopher?” Are you alright?”

“I think so. I just had a sense that I might have been there before.” She looked at him in confusion. He smiled and tried to shake the feeling. “I must just be tired. Come on let’s go home and I’ll make all the arrangements”

Marlena was mad. Furious was more like it. He was leaving again on business. Business my ass she thought.

“And do I even bother asking when you’re coming back?” She watched as he packed his suitcase. This was becoming so repetitive

“I should only be a few weeks at the most. They need my help with an under cover operation. You know I can’t tell you anymore than that” He couldn’t look her in the eye. He knew she knew. But yet it never seemed to stop him. “I’m sure you’ll find something to do in the meantime.” As he zipped up his suitcase and started going downstairs she was shooting daggers into his back with her eyes.

“I’ll try not to miss you” Giving him a smile that never reached her eyes.

“I’m sure you will” was his last comment before he walked out the door.

She called to him “Roman” making him turn around. “Yeah?”

She glares at him for a moment before voicing the truth they’ve both refused to speak

“Tell whatever her name is that the Mrs says hello” And with that she slams the door and listens as he drives away.

Breaking into tears she wonders how her life had gotten to this point.

I don’t even remember how it happened. So much pain and grief I was just trying to make it through.

 

I had first met Roman when I started working at University Hospital. He was still a rookie cop and he had come in to visit a fellow officer who had been injured during a robbery.

He had made me laugh, it sounds awful but I hadn’t laughed in so long. And he was patient too. He knew about John everyone in the town knew about John and what had happened. Because of that he gave me space. Over time people stopped asking me if I was doing ok, they went about their own lives, and the past was just that the past.

 

We started dating shortly after my 25 birthday. He was so sweet and caring. We eventually married in the spring 2 yrs later. I thought I was happy. I thought this is what I wanted. Turns out for the both of us it wasn’t. Maybe people just go their separate ways. Or maybe they were never at the same place to begin with.

All I know it is went terribly wrong. How do you fall out of love when you’re not sure you were even in love in the first place? Pain is a funny thing. You get so used to the feeling that you mistake it with contentment. I have known love. I have touched it and held in within my grasp. I know now this is not love. I have settled. As cruel as that sounds I settled for what I thought would bring me peace and in the end all I feel is more alone.

 

—————————————–

 

“I can’t believe I slept through the whole flight”

“Well, you were up late last night making sure you had packed everything but the kitchen sink. Though I’m sure if it would have fit into your suitcase you would have taken in with you” he quickly ducks the pillow that was aimed at his head.

“You are such a funny man”

“Well, you know I do try” she can’t help but smile at him.

“We are suppose to meet my friend for dinner tonight. She said she would meet us there around 6pm.”

“Ok sounds like a plan. It’s only 4 so I’m going to hop into the shower and get cleaned up” He walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

Why can’t I shake this feeling he thought? I know this place. What is wrong with me?

 

“Tuscany. Is this the place?”

She looked at the directions her friend had given her over the phone. “Yep that’s what she said”

He parked the car and got out quickly going over to her door and opening it for her.

“Have I told you how handsome you look tonight?” she said as she straightened his tie for him.

“Not half as handsome as you are beautiful” he leaned over and planted a warm kiss on her lips sending chills up her spine. Wrapping both her arms around his neck she deepened it.

He pulled back suddenly “You know, if we keep doing this your friend is going to wonder what happened to us”

“I know, I know come on” she said as she grabbed his hand and headed towards the entrance of the restaurant. Opening the door for her they walked in. Just then his phone ringed.

“Hello? Brian? I told you I was not to be disturbed” Catherine looked up and saw the annoyance in his eyes. She tried to get his attention but he was too wrapped up in arguing with the man on the phone.

“Hold on. Honey, can you please forgive me I have to take this call.”

Trying to not to sound too angry she smiled “Sure I’ll just go find our table. I’ll see if she’s here yet and when your finished you can just come find us”

He couldn’t help but hear the frustration in her voice. Blowing out some air he went back to his call.

 

Shortly afterwards he came back into the restaurant. He had handled the important business and made it clear he was not to be disturbed again this evening.

He spotted Catherine sitting at a table facing the door and chatting happily with the woman he assumed was her long time friend. The woman had her back to him so he couldn’t see her face. She had long brown hair and was a very slender woman from what he could see. Catherine spotted him and waved him over.

“Christopher over here” he headed for the table just as the woman turned around.

She stood up and held out her hand.

“Christopher this is Janice. Janice this my fiancée Christopher”

He shook her hand “It’s pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you”

 

Just then a woman spotted the threesome at the table near theirs

“Bo? Doesn’t he look familiar?” Hope was curious she knew she had seen him somewhere.

“Who?” Bo started looking around. Trying to find the person she was referring to.

“Over there. I’ve seen…no it can’t be. I must be seeing things. It can’t be him he’s dead.” Her face had gone white and Bo was concerned for his wife.

“Sweetheart what’s wrong?” he watched her stand up on shaky feet and walk over to a table three others were now occupying”

“Hope? Hope??” He got up to follow her and his eyes found what had gotten her so upset.

“No way it can’t be.”

“Excuse me. I hate to interrupt” Hope was outright staring at Christopher, which made him a bit uneasy.

Janice looked up at Hope and smiled. “Hope how are you?” she then looked from Hope to Christopher then back again.

“It can’t be you” Hope was frozen. It can’t be him. He’s dead. But he’s sitting right in front of me. Bo wasn’t doing much better than his wife.

“Um let me introduce you all” Janice said. Not knowing exactly what was happening.

“Hope and Bo this is my old friend Catherine and her fiancée…” she was cut off by Hope. Speaking words that would change everyone’s life as they knew it

“John? John Black?”

“Excuse me? You must have the wrong person” Christopher stood up.

“No, it’s been years but I would know that face anywhere. What happened to you?” Hope was on the verge of tears.

“What happened to me? Nothing happened to me. I’m not this John Black person that you speak of. I’m sorry but you must be mistaken.” He went to sit back down but Hope placed her hand on his arm. “No wait please.”

Catherine was looking on. Caught up in the scene that was unfolding in front of her. Not knowing why these people were calling him by this foreign name. But looking at Hope she knew there had to be some shred of truth to it.

“You don’t know who you are?” Bo was at a loss. He knew who it was that sat before him and yet the man didn’t know himself.

“Of course I know who I am.” Christopher was getting frustrated. He couldn’t believe these people knew him. He has never seen them before in his life. Had he?

“John there was an accident.” Hope tried to explain.

“My name is not John!” Why are these people calling me John? I know my own name.

Janice was whispering to Catherine and then she got up.

“It was nice meeting you Christopher.” She nodded to Bo and Hope grabbed her purse then left.

“Where is she going we can still have dinner” Christopher just wanted the last 10 minutes to go away.

“She said she would call me tomorrow she didn’t want to intrude on what was happening here,”

“Nothing is happening here. I came here to have a nice meal with my fiancée and her childhood friend. And now I have 2 people calling me John Black and insisting I was in an accident that’s why I don’t remember.” John was beginning to get very upset.

“Sweetheart, you had been in some kind of accident when they found you. You know that” Catherine was trying to calm him down the best she could but he wasn’t listening.

“Marlena” was all Hope said to him.

“Marlena?” Christopher closed his eyes. Marlena. A flash of blonde hair appeared in his minds eye. A contagious laugh filled his ears and he was breathless. He grabbed his chest willing his heartbeat to slow down.

“Christopher? Honey??” Catherine stood up and ran over to him trying to catch him before he fell.

“John? Bo call an ambulance” Bo got on his cell phone and called 911.

“John can you hear me? John?” Hope was frantic. Catherine was so worried she didn’t know which way to go or what exactly to do.

“Christopher can you hear me?”

“Marlena” was the only thing he said before his world went dark.

Marlena was sitting on the couch, a fire going in the fireplace and her nose stuck in a novel she’s been trying to finish for months.

The telephones shrill ring invades the quietness and it snaps her back to reality as she gets up and hurries over to get it.

“Hello?”

 

“Marlena? It’s Hope”

 

“Hope. Hi! How are you?” She realized she’s never spoken to Hope as often as would have liked to. They were so close during high school. But somehow they drifted apart. Not somehow Marlena she scolded herself. You did it. You pushed them all away.

 

“Marlena I need you to come to the hospital ER” She didn’t want to have to do this. But she didn’t want to sugar coat it for her either. It was going to be hard enough having her see the face of the man she loved and lost so long ago.

 

“Hope what’s happened?”

 

“Its ok Marlena. I just need you to come and I’ll explain when you get here”

 

“Ok I’m on my way” She hung up the phone after saying their haste goodbyes. She grabbed her purse and keys and left the house. Not knowing the journey she was about to make would break her heart all over again.

 

She ran into the ER frantically looking for Hope. It was after 10pm and it was almost empty. She saw her talking to a Dr along with a woman in a dark blue evening gown. She was pretty enough. Long black hair was pulled back into a French braid. She was average height standing around 5”7’. She was holding her high heels in her hands and tears were pouring down her face.

 

“Hope? What’s wrong?” Hope walked over and gave Marlena a hug.

 

“Marlena I don’t know how to tell you this” She couldn’t find the right words. How could she tell her lifelong friend that the man they all thought had died was alive and well lying in a hospital bed not 20 feet away? How do you tell your friend the love of her life did not die beneath the waves that summer day 11 yrs ago?

 

“Marlena I think you should sit down” Hope tried to lead her over to one of the chairs that were sitting against the wall.

 

“Hope stop! Just tell me what is going on, please?” Hope saw the fear in her eyes. She saw Marlena’s eyes welling up with tears.

 

“I don’t know how to tell you what I need to tell you!” Hope took a couple of deep breaths and decided to just say what needed to be said.

 

“They brought a man in tonight. Bo and I were having dinner at Tuscany and we saw someone there we used to know. Things got heated and he became distressed and passed out. They are running some tests to make sure everything is ok. But we had them run a DNA test as well” she paused looking at Marlena.

 

“A DNA test? Why would they be running a DNA test on him?” Marlena looked at Hope in confusion.

 

“Because we needed proof of who he really is” She tried to explain

 

“And who is he really?” She asked. Questions lurked behind her tired hazel eyes.

 

“Marlena, It’s John” Hope said quietly.

 

“What? I’m sorry. Did you just say he was John? As in John Black? The same man who died over 10 years ago?” She heard the words Hope was speaking but it still wasn’t registering. She sat down in one of the waiting area chairs and put her head in hands

 

“Yes, Marlena. It’s John” She could see the years of pain and heartache quickly take hold of Marlena once again. Hope remembered how devastated Marlena was when the accident first happened. How lost she was, how she slowly seemed to be dying. She saw parts of that pain every now and again. But she knew Marlena was just putting on a brave front for everyone else’s sake. And here they were after so many years. She only hoped that Marlena could make it through this time.

 

“No!” Marlena jumped up “It can’t be him!” Hope saw the anger fill her hazel eyes. And only prayed that the love they once had for each other. The love she knew would never die. Would help them make it through this.

 

Catherine quietly crept into Christopher’s hospital room. She stood there a moment taking it all in. So white and sterile, the only real sign of life was a potted plant sitting over in the corner on a small table. She stared at him. Her Christopher wasn’t really her Christopher but everyone else’s John. How could this be?

 

She remembers when she first saw him over 10 years ago. Lying in a hospital room very much like this one now. Bandages surrounded his head and cuts laced his once untarnished face.

He had been in some sort of accident they told her. They didn’t really know anymore than that. He was brought in and hadn’t woken in the week and half that he had been there. She couldn’t explain at the time. But she was taken with him. Visiting everyday, making sure that he would be alright. He had eventually woken up. Only realizing he didn’t know who he was. They had started a friendship, and when he was well enough to leave the hospital she had taken him with her. He had no where else to go and she felt she should be the one to make sure this lost man once again found himself.

They had become engaged 4 years later, hoping to start a new life filled with so much love and so many promises. And now here he is, lying there asleep once again lost. If only she could bring him back again.

 

She walked out of the room gently closing the door behind her. Breaking into tears she decided to find the chapel and pray.

 

———————–

 

John was having a nightmare, or what seemed like a nightmare. They were on a beach, the sun was hot on their backs, and he saw children playing in the surf. Names and faces appeared before him. Laughing and smiling, and then he saw her. So beautiful, long blonde hair, and that laugh. That laugh that made him weak. He saw himself walk over to her and softly kiss her on the lips. So happy they seemed. So carefree, like the world was theirs and theirs alone.

The dream switched to what looked like the inside of a cabin. Just him and this woman her knew only as Marlena. A fire was going in the nearby fireplace. Blankets were set out in front in of it, and music softly played from a stereo resting on the table.

 

Unchained Melody. He knew that song, he remembers always loving it, and then she appeared. He took her in his arms and slowly began what could only be a lover’s dance. He held her small hand to his heart and laid his head close to hers.

 

“I love you, John” She spoke so softly, like a gentle wind blowing through the trees overhead.

 

“I love you too, Marlena. Forever” he woke with a jolt. Looking around not even sure of where he was. The hospital, they brought me to the hospital because I passed out. The night came back to him. Hope and Bo, calling him John. Insisting he was someone other than the person he believed to be all these years. And Marlena. The woman from his dream. What the hell is going on his mind screamed.

“Marlena, I think you should go see him.” Hope urged.

 

“What am I suppose to do? Go in and say ‘Hi, honey. It’s been 11 years since I last saw you. I thought you were dead, but it’s ok really?’ Please Hope” Marlena was angry. She was relieved but angry. She’s been grieving him for 11 years. And there he is alive lying in a hospital bed. She couldn’t wrap her brain around it. So the only thing she did was cry.

 

“Hope I loved him, and then I lost him” she wiped her tears away with the back of her hands.

 

“I know, sweetie. But you have to know he didn’t remember anything after the accident. If he did he would have come back to you. You have to know that” Hope pulled Marlena into a hug and tried to reassure her the best way she could.

 

“I need to see him Hope” Marlena was trying to control the tears; she knew she had to walk through that door. Walk back into a past that had become too painful to bear. She loved him she would always love him. And for that reason alone she knew she could never walk away.

 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Hope asked gently. Trying to make this as easy as she could for one of her closest friends.

 

“I think I should do this on my own. Can you understand?” Marlena asked quietly.

 

“Sure. Just know that I’m here for you if you need me.” Marlena gave Hope a small smile of thanks but Hope saw the fear in her eyes.

 

Marlena walked over to John’s hospital room and slowly turned the door handle walking straight into the past. She never could have prepared herself for the onslaught of emotions that took hold of her.

She saw him lying there and the breath was stolen from her lungs. The tears came to her eyes and she didn’t even try to hold them back.

He was sleeping, though she could see it wasn’t a restful one. He was tossing and turning, so she quickly walked over and placed a soothing hand on his arm and was surprised to see he calmed immediately.

 

He looked so different she thought. But she could still see the young man she had fallen so deeply in love with.

His hair was darker; his features had become more defined with his age. She noticed a small scar near his chin, and wondered when he has gotten it.

Pulling up a chair she sat down beside his bed. She couldn’t find words. She didn’t know if she could speak. Here he was after all the time once again beside here and yet he seemed so far away. Wiping her tears she chose to speak from her heart.

 

“John? Do you know how hard it was for me to loose you? All the sleepless nights, wishing you were there to simply hold me. To comfort me, to bring me the peace only you seemed to ever bring me.”

 

Catherine was about to enter Christopher’s room when she heard a woman softly speaking.

 

“I loved you, I had never known what true love was until the day you entered my life. At times it hurt because I loved you that much. I loved your boyish smile, the crazy things you did just to make me laugh. But most of all I just loved you. Every part that was John Black I loved with everything I had, and when I believed you died you took my heart along with you.” She was sobbing now. Unable to control the emotions that she thought she had long buried.

 

John began to stir; he opened his eyes and looked at the woman crying before him.

Her head was bowed and her hands were to her face. He gently reached over and put his hand on her cheek.

 

“Marlena? Is that you?”

 

Catherine backed away from the door, as the tears began streaming down her face. What am I going to do? She slowly sat down as Hope walked over and sat down beside her.

 

“Are you alright?” Hope looked at her concerned.

 

“No, I don’t think I am. Who is Marlena?” she looked up at Hope, who saw the pain in her eyes. “Please, tell me.”

 

Hope didn’t want to lie but she didn’t want to hurt the woman who so obviously cared for John.

 

“Marlena met John when he first came to Salem…” she started to tell Catherine how they met and had fallen in love. She didn’t want to hurt her, but she thought the woman needed to know the truth.

 

“Marlena never knew this at the time, and after the accident I thought it was best to leave it amongst the unsaid.” She took a small pause “John was going to propose to Marlena that day on the boat. He had me come with him a week earlier and help him pick out the ring. He was so excited. Like a little boy really but then the accident happened, and they never found his body. She was so devastated. None of us thought she would make it through. But over time the wounds healed as best they could, leaving only scars to serve as reminders of the pain she had endured. She got married to my bother in-law actually. But I knew she was never happy. I think deep inside she thought she could bury the pain. But I saw it even if no one else did.”

 

Catherine sat there taking in everything Hope had just told her. She needed some air, and she needed time to think.

 

“Will you excuse me, please?” She stood up and starting walking toward the hospital balcony.

 

“Sure” Was all Hope said. Though she didn’t think the woman had even heard her.

 

“Marlena? You’re the woman from my dreams” He looked at her face and it struck him at how beautiful she really was. She looked older than the woman he had seen in his mind, her hair was shorter, it lay just passed her shoulders, a little blonder, but she was just as beautiful. More so he thought. “I knew you from before didn’t I?”

 

Marlena couldn’t help but feel hurt. How cruel it seemed to her, to loose the man she loved so tragically, but to have him here in front of her, only he doesn’t remember who you are. Cruel isn’t the word for it she thought.

 

“Yes, John. You knew me from before” She wanted to be angry. Anger seemed easy for her these passed years. But as she looked at him, she couldn’t bring herself to be angry, not with him.

“We were lovers?” John wasn’t trying to be hurtful. He simply wanted to put together all the images he had seen in his mind.

 

“Yes we were” She didn’t know if she could take this. Things she wasn’t sure she could handle were hitting her hard. She was trying to be strong if only for his sake.

 

“I remember that.” He said. Giving her a smile. “I remember we were at a cabin, just you and me. We were dancing. It’s a bit fuzzy but I remember.”

 

She smiled. “That night was so beautiful it was just the two of us. You had taken me there for the weekend. You said it was a surprise.” She smiled at the memory.

 

“You hate surprises.” John didn’t know where that information came from. But somehow he knew it was true.

 

She looked at him shocked. “Yes I do.”

 

Catherine came back inside and headed toward Christopher’s room. She had done some thinking and remembered a promise she had made him a long time ago. She walked to his room, and knocked softly on the door.

 

Marlena looked at John then got up to answer the door.

 

“Hi. May I come in please? I don’t mean to interrupt” Catherine felt uncomfortable standing in front of the woman who had meant so much to John.

 

“No, please it’s ok” Marlena stepped aside and let the woman in.

 

John saw who it was and smiled “Catherine!”

 

Marlena tried to ignore the fact that John’s eyes lit up at the sight of the other woman. She couldn’t help but see the diamond ring on Catherine’s finger either.

 

Catherine smiled and went over to John placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

“I’m a bit tired, but other than that I feel fine.” He smiled up at her.

 

Marlena was standing out of the way and watched the exchange in silence.

 

“Um I’m sorry. Let me make introductions. Catherine this is Marlena. Marlena this is Catherine”

 

Catherine held her hand out and shook Marlena’s.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you” Catherine smiled.

 

“Thank you. It’s nice to meet you too” I have to get of here Marlena thought. “I’m going to get a cup of coffee. Would you like one Catherine?”

 

“No, I’m fine. But thank you.” And with that Marlena left the room closing the door quietly behind her.

 

She leaned up against the wall trying to catch her breath. I can’t do this she thought.

 

Hope had seen Marlena leaving the room and quickly went over to her.

 

“Hey, everything alright? How did it go in there?”

 

“He remembers me.” Hope smiled. “That’s great!”

 

“But he doesn’t remember me the way you think or the way I want him to” Marlena looked over to Hope as a tear fell down her cheek. “He says he has dreams, memories…. He remembers that time up at the cabin. But he didn’t remember that was the first time we made love.” Marlena reached for Hope as sobs escaped her. “What am I going to do Hope?”

 

Catherine sat down in the stool beside his bed and smiled softly at him.

 

“How are you really doing?” she said.

 

“I’m so confused. I keep remembering things. But I don’t know if they’re real or just a dream. I feel the emotions with the pictures so it has to be real doesn’t it?” She saw the confusion and sadness in John’s eyes.

 

“John, I came in here to remind you of a promise I made to you a long time ago. And as painful as it is I have to keep that promise.” He looked at her confusion.

 

“What promise is that?”

 

“I think it’s important for you to remember who you were. To have that piece of your life back.” She paused trying to find the right words. “And I know there’s people here who will help you get it. I know about your past with Marlena even if you don’t. And I think it’s only right that you find it out what it is. As much as it hurts me to do it, I have to keep my promise to you.” She took the engagement ring off her finger and placed it in his hand.

 

“No Catherine. Please! I love you, you can’t mean this”

 

“I’ll always be here for you. You know that.” She wiped away a stray tear. “But I feel I need to give you this time to find yourself. To find out who you are and what you want.

If it turns out that it’s me then we can live the life we always talked of having. If it’s not..” she slowly took a deep breath “If it’s not. I won’t lie it will break my heart but I love you so much that I will let you go”

 

He looked at her with tears in his eyes. “I don’t understand.”

 

“You will. I’m going to go stay with my friend Janice. I called her a few minutes ago and she said I could stay there. I’ll leave the number if you need me ok?” She got up and kissed him lightly on the lips “I’m not doing this to hurt you. I’m doing this because I love you. Please remember that ok?” She kissed him once more then she walked out of the room.

Catherine only stopped long enough to say goodbye to Hope and thank her for everything she had done. She looked down at Marlena who was now sitting down in one of the chairs.

 

“Marlena? He’s going to need someone to help him get through this. Can you help him please?” Marlena saw that Catherine had been crying. But was afraid to ask. “Yes. Of Course I will”

 

Catherine gave Marlena a tiny smile and with that she walked away. Marlena was still staring in the direction she was heading even after she was gone.

 

“I’m going to go back in and see him”

 

“Ok well, I should be heading home” Marlena pulled Hope into a hug. “I want to thank you for being here for me. I don’t know what I would have done without your support and friendship. And I don’t just mean tonight either.”

 

Hope pulled back and looked in Marlena’s eyes “I will always been your friend Marlena, and I will always be here for you ok?” Marlena nodded through her tears. “Call me if you need anything alright?”

 

“I will” Marlena wiped away her tears, as she watched Hope leave. She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself and entered John’s room.

 

She saw that he had been crying. “John? What’s wrong?” she took the seat beside his bed again.

 

“Catherine left. She said she wanted to give me time to find out who I was.” He held up the engagement ring. “What am I suppose to do?”

 

Marlena’s heart was breaking for John. He looked so lost and alone. So scared, and unsure. Everything he had believed for over 10 years was gone. Weren’t they a pair.

 

“John, everything will be ok you’ll see” She tried to sooth him with her words as best she could.

 

“When can I get out of this hospital bed? They told me nothing was wrong but still I’m lying here. And where is the doctor??.” She couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“And what might I ask is so funny?” He sounded irked.

 

“You’ve never liked hospitals. There was this one time when we were 16, you broke your leg, and had to be brought in and the whole time you ranted on and on about leaving and how you were fine. I think you drove the doctors mad.” She was still laughing and his face softened as he watched her.

 

“You so beautiful” He said the words out loud before he had time to stop himself.

 

She quickly looked at him in shock. “Uh. Thank you.” She stammered. As she gave him a small smile “I’m going to try to find the doctor and see how fast we can get you out of here ok?” She stood up and left the room as John watched her leave.

 

“I can’t believe I said that. I’m such an idiot. Why don’t I try to make her a little more uncomfortable next time.” He berated himself but couldn’t forget the smile she gave him either.

 

A few minutes later Marlena came back into the room with Dr. Griffin “I’m sorry to keep you waiting. Now what’s this about you wanting to leave?” John eyed the Dr. he looked to be middle aged, dark hair that was graying at the sides, he stood about 5”9’ and had dark rimmed glasses hanging out of his lab coat pocket.

 

“Yeah since I’m feeling better I wanted to know when I could be discharged.” John just wanted out of there, and Marlena could see it.

 

“Well, the tests we ran came back negative, the blood work came back fine. So I can’t see why you need to be kept here any longer than you’d like to be.” The Dr. could see he was becoming agitated. “I’ll just go fill out the necessary paper work and we’ll get you out of here.

 

John was relieved. “Thank you Dr.”

 

Marlena moved over to the door and turned around. “I’ll just leave you to get dressed ok?”

 

John smiled “Thank you, Marlena” And she smiled in return.

 

She soon returned and John was back into his tuxedo. She tried to look at him unnoticed. He hadn’t put the tie back on and had the first couple of top buttons undone. She caught a glimpse of chest hair that peeked out from the opening in his shirt and her mouth began to water.

 

“Marlena?” John looked at her concerned.

 

“Huh?” She looked up at John

 

“You ok? You kind of went off there”

 

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit tired though.” Marlena scolded herself. Can you make it any more obvious you were staring at his chest “Did you need me to drive you anywhere? Where are you staying?”

 

“At the Salem Inn. But you don’t need to drive me I can call a cab. The car we rented is most likely still at the restaurant”

 

Marlena never thought twice about the question she was about to ask. “You know, why don’t you just stay with me? I have a guestroom” What am I doing?

 

John looked at her in surprise “You don’t need to do that Marlena I wouldn’t want to intrude”

 

“You wouldn’t be intruding. Plus, I would feel better after what happened with you tonight.” What are you getting yourself into?

 

John didn’t know what to say. Something inside made him want to be as close to this woman as he possibly could, but he couldn’t understand why. Plus, he had noticed the wedding ring on her finger and didn’t want to cause a problem.

 

“What about your husband?”

 

“Excuse me?” Marlena hadn’t realized he knew she was married.

 

“I don’t mean to sound nosy or forward really. I just don’t want to be in the way”

 

“Roman is out of town for a couple of weeks so it’s just me there right now” She really did not want to talk about her husband right now.

 

“Ok as long as you’re sure I won’t be any trouble” then he smiled. That smile that always made her weak in the knees.

 

“No, it’s no trouble at all.”

 

“Ok great. Lead the way.” John followed Marlena out of the room and down towards the parking garbage where she had left her car.

They got to Marlena’s house about 20 mins later. He followed her to the front door and waited for her to open it. Once they got inside she turned on the light and he took in everything he saw. He noticed a dying fire in the fireplace. Cozy would be the word he would use to describe it. Pictures graced the walls, and there was a staircase to the left of him. A sofa lay facing the entertainment center, which had a TV, VCR, a DVD player, and a large stereo with tall speakers placed on either side of the structure. Pictures were placed on the mantel of the fireplace, so many faces, and so many people he must have known.

 

She walked over and placed her keys and purse on the table to her right.

 

“Did you want coffee or anything?” She asked.

 

“Yeah sure, that sounds great.” He followed her into the kitchen and saw a round wooden table with four chairs, a small plant resting in the middle; he looked over to the counter. A microwave sat kitty corner against the wall, a coffee maker sitting beside it, and a dishwasher below it. On the opposite wall there was a stove and a refrigerator. He knew that it was Marlena who had decorated. From what he’d seen it seemed so her.

 

She pulled two coffee mugs from a cupboard that was over the sink as he sat down in one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

 

“I really appreciate what you’re doing Marlena. It must be uncomfortable for you to be around me.” He looked at her back as she set up the coffee maker.

 

“No, it’s not uncomfortable,” she said. “A little surreal perhaps but not uncomfortable”

 

He wanted to see her face. Somehow he needed to see her face. He got up and walked over to her resting a hand on her shoulder making her jump a bit.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. I just feel. Hell I don’t know what I feel.” She looked at him and saw the defeated look in his eyes.

 

“John, you don’t need to say anything.”

 

“Yes for some reason I feel I have to. I don’t know what to say Marlena. I knew you and yet I only have small memories of you. I know you were special to me I can feel it. I just feel so awful for what you must be going through.” He looked her in the eye.

 

“And I feel awful for what you must be going though. Before tonight you believed to be someone else, and here you are faced with the knowledge that you are not the person you thought you were.” She sighed, “I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel about all of this.”

 

He just looked at her in awe. How this woman put his feelings before hers was amazing to him.

 

“The coffee’s done. Do you still take it with one cream and one sugar?” She asked.

 

He looked at her surprised. “Yeah I do” he was comforted by the fact that she still remembered such a tiny detail, and yet it frustrated him that he couldn’t remember them about her. He didn’t know her favorite color, her favorite song, or what kind of movies she used to like. And it left him feeling very angry. He thought that this whole thing was unfair. So unjust, he couldn’t see the reasoning behind any of this.

 

Marlena handed him his coffee and he followed her back into the living room. She moved the blanket that had be resting on the couch from earlier in the evening and sat down as he sat down at the other end. There were no words as they drank their coffee in silence. Each one lost in their own thoughts. Marlena still trying to process the fact that John was really here, sitting on her couch, in her house having a cup of coffee. She wanted to laugh at the whole thing. It seemed too far-fetched and if it weren’t happening to her she never would have believed it.

 

John on the other hand was busy trying to comprehend everything that had happened in the past 5 hrs. How his world had been turned upset down. The woman he loved had broken off their engagement, and he was sitting with an ex-lover who he didn’t even really remember.

 

“Marlena?” John was the first to speak. He was so quiet she barely even heard him.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I just wanted to ask you something. If that’s alright?” He wasn’t even sure why he was asking. But he felt like he needed to know.

 

“Ok. What is it?” she asked. Finding she couldn’t hide the hint of curiosity in her voice.

 

“Do you have any pictures of me? Like from before?” He knew he should wait. That he shouldn’t rush. But, he felt he had all the answers right in from of him. He needed those answers. He needed his past back. And he knew Marlena could be the one person to give it to him.

 

She looked over at him

 

“I’m sorry if I seems like I’m pushing. It’s just, it’s just that there’s a part of me that’s been missing all of these years. An emptiness inside that needs to be filled….” He looks at her and she sees all the sadness in his eyes.

 

“John, it’s ok. I was just surprised you wanted to see them so soon. But of course, I can understand why you would want to see them. Hold on…” she set her mug on the coffee table beside her and got up and went over to the cabinet against the wall behind the couch. She came back with 2 photo albums and handed them to John.

“The white one is from high school to the winter when we were 16, the second one is from 16 onward.” He smiled up at her in thanks.

 

“I think I’m going to head to bed though. I’m really tired. Been a hectic day… you know”

 

He nodded his head in understanding.

 

“Just let me lock the house up and I’ll show you where your room is ok?”

 

“Sure. No problem” as he fingered the photo albums in front of him.

 

She came back into the living room and he stood up taking the albums with him. He followed her up the stairs and couldn’t help but notice the sway of her hips as she walked down the hallway. She showed him where the bathroom was, and then led him to the room where he would be staying.

It was a fair size; there was a double bed up against the wall with a side table at the far side of the bed with a lamp on it. A dresser sat against the opposite wall and there was a door beside it that he assumed was the closet.

 

“I’ll get you some clothes to sleep in since you don’t have any with you. Roman has some that might fit. I’ll be right back.” as she quietly left the room. He sat down at the foot of the bed and placed the photo albums beside him. She came back in shortly with a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants. “These are the best I can do, I’m not sure anything else will be comfortable considering your taller than he is.”

 

“These are great. I really appreciate it, Marlena. I’ll have to go back to the hotel tomorrow and get my stuff anyways.” He smiled.

 

She gave him a soft smile “Goodnight John.”

 

“Goodnight, Marlena. Sleep well” and with that she closed the door leaving him alone. He quickly changed out of his tux and put on the clothes Marlena had given him to wear.

Setting the tux on the dresser, he went over and turned the bedside lamp on, turned off the overhead light and got into bed. He grabbed the white photo album first, opened it and looked at the first picture.

As he was going through the pictures he couldn’t help but smile. Some were of just him, some with Marlena and him; he couldn’t help but smile at how happy they were. She was so beautiful he thought. She still is but there was this childlike innocence he saw in her eyes. He didn’t see it when he looked at her now. How could he expect to see it? After everything she must have been through.

 

Turning through the pages he saw how they went from teenagers to young adults. Almost always the same friends, and almost always the same places. He couldn’t help but think how simple it all looked. Like they ruled the world. That nothing could touch them. If only they had known.

 

His eye caught the next picture and he closed his eyes. He remembered talking with Hope about surprising Marlena on her birthday. He wanted to get her something special, but was having trouble with ideas. So he had gone to Hope seeing as she was her best friend.

He had gotten her a small diamond necklace in the shape of a heart. The air was cool. It was October and the leaves were falling. He had made a picnic basket, and had taken her to one of their favorite places. It was a hill that overlooked Salem, and he had given it to her there. It was the first time he told that he was in love with her and she had cried, He remembered that she had flown into his arms and whispered words of love in return, and they had stayed in each other arms as they watched the sunset together. They had both been 16.

 

He opens his eyes as a tear rolled down his cheek. He had loved her. He remembers loving her. The feeling of flying, the weightlessness of it, and the only thing he can do is smile as he looked through the rest of the pictures.

 

The next morning, he awoke and looked at the clock on the bedside table that read 8:45am. He listened but found the house quiet. So he assumed Marlena was still sleeping. He got out of bed and opened the bedroom door. Walking down the hall he noticed her bedroom door was still closed so he figured she was still asleep.

He walked down stairs and went into the kitchen. He hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday and his stomach was beginning to get demanding. He started looking through cabinets and the fridge hoping to find something to make breakfast with for Marlena and him.

He opened and cupboard and found exactly what he was looking for.

 

Marlena awoke to the smell of food cooking. She got out of bed, put her robe on and headed downstairs. She saw him in the kitchen making breakfast. There was bacon frying, eggs cooking, and he was flipping pancakes. She watched him in silence with a grin on her face.

John saw her out of the corner of his eye leaning up against the kitchen doorway and smiled. “Good morning, pretty lady”

 

She gasped.

 

“Marlena?” John rushed over “is something wrong?”

“No, no everything’s fine. You just used to call me that a lot. It took me by surprise.” She walked over to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup then went and sat at the table.

 

“I did?” he said. Going back over to the stove.

 

“Yeah. It was just one of those things. I don’t even know how it really got started. But it stuck.” She smiled as she took a sip of her coffee. “Do you need any help?” she asked.

 

He smirked “No, it’s ok you just stay there. I got it covered.”

 

She watched him as he made them both breakfast so focused on the task.

 

He brought her over a plate, got his and sat down across from her. She took a bite and moaned. The sound of it made John’s heartbeat speed up.

 

“John, this is so good. I wish you would have let me help you though,” she said as she took another bite of bacon.

 

“Well, you see, Marlena. There was something I wanted to tell you concerning that.” He said smirking.

 

“Oh yeah?” she looked up “And what would you like to tell me?”

 

“Well, I remember a couple of things last night.” Her face lit up.

 

“John that’s great! What did you remember?”

 

“That you can’t cook to save your life Marlena.” He started laughing at the expression of shock on her face. He couldn’t calm himself down.

 

“I would like you to know that I can cook something’s” she said picking up her fork.

 

“Marlena, I remember you blew up cookies in the oven!” He started laughing all over again.

 

“You think you are so funny, don’t you?” she scooped up one of her over easy eggs with her fork.

 

“Well, I would like to think I was a bit funny, yes” he said putting a piece of pancake into his mouth. He never even saw it coming. The next thing he knew he had egg yolk running down his face and it was her turn now to laugh.

 

“Not so funny now are you Mr. Black?” she laughed.

 

“Marlena, you’re playing dirty”

 

“Oh am I now?” she grinned.

 

“Yeah you are. I hope you know that this means war.” As he threw half of his syrup covered pancake at her face. She screamed and stood up reaching for anything to throw at him. Oh this was war indeed. He had the syrup bottle and was ready to fire when she took off into the living room.

 

“John, ok I’m sorry. Really I am” she started laughing

 

“Oh yeah Marlena you sound sooo convincing”

 

They were both on either end of the couch and when he faked running the other way she took off toward the stairs. He was faster though and grabbed her around the waist and held the bottle over her head.

 

“John, please. I’m sorry. I mean it this time. I don’t know what came over me.” She was trying to hold the laughter in. She was squirming in his arms and she managed to turn herself around so that she was now facing him. The laughter died, as they looked into each other eyes. Time seemed to slow down as John looked from Marlena’s eyes to her lips and then back again. Marlena’s mouth had become dry, and she ran her tongue along her bottom lip to try and moisture them.

Neither one of them knew how it happened. But they were slowly drawn to the other and with the lightest of touches their lips met. He wrapped his other arm around her as she wrapped both arms around his neck. The kiss was soft but soon it was deepened as 11 yrs of being apart seemed to disappear, and the flame of love they thought had been extinguished was ignited once again.

John backed her up to the wall and pressed his body against hers. She took both of her hands and put them up the front of his shirt, She placed one of them on his back and with the other she racked her nails across the hair on his chest and he moaned. As he hungrily starting kissing her neck, she moved her head to the side to give him better access.

 

“Wait” John began to pull back. “We have to stop.”

 

“What? Why? No.” she was trying to catch her breath.

 

“We can’t do this Marlena.” He backed away removing his hands from her body and walked back towards the kitchen.

 

“And why can’t we?” she asked getting upset.

 

“Because for starters, you’re married Marlena.” And he pointed at her wedding ring like she somehow didn’t know it was there. “Or did you forget?”

 

“I haven’t forgotten John.” Her voice was laced with bitterness. He took his hand and brought it to her chin trying to make her meet his eyes, but she wouldn’t.

 

“Then why would you want to do this to him?” he asked softly.

 

“Can we please just not talk about Roman?” she went over to the kitchen table and starting cleaning up their mess from earlier.

 

John watched her, about to say something but knew he should leave it alone for now. He simply walked over and helped her clean up the mess in silence.

 

When everything had been cleaned up John looked at Marlena. “I think I’m gonna go”

She looked him at him quickly

 

“Why?”

 

“I really appreciate you wanting to help me but I think it’s better if I just leave. One of us is going to end up hurt and I want to try and stop it before it happens.” As he walked out of the kitchen Marlena was quickly on his heels.

 

“No. Wait” she said and she grabbed his arm. “Please just wait. I told you I would help you, and I meant it John I really did.” She let out a frustrated sigh “We can make this work. We’re adults we should be able to handle this.” She wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince more him or herself.

 

“Marlena, I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have,” he placed his hand softly on her cheek. “Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do” She leaned her face into his hand.

 

“We can make this work, John” Please, stay she silently begged. She didn’t know if she could handle him walking out that door and being faced with the possibility that he would really be gone this time. She couldn’t go through the pain of loosing him again not when she just got him back in her life.

 

He looks at her face. So sad and tired and he just wants to hold her. He pulls you in to a hug, as she softly starts to cry.

 

“Marlena, everything will be alright. I’ll stay ok?” he pulls back to look at her with a small smile on his face. She wipes the tears away, and gives him a tiny smile in return.

“But I do have to go to the Salem Inn and get some clothes. I’m going to use the phone and call a cab ok?” He starts walking over the phone on the wall, and picks up the receiver.

 

“Why don’t you just take my car?”

 

“Are you sure?” slowly hanging up the phone.

 

“Yeah, the keys are on the table. I’m just going to go up and have a shower.” She couldn’t stand the syrup in her hair anymore.

 

“Ok, I shouldn’t be too long. I’ll lock the door on my way out.” He flashed her a smile as she turned around and went upstairs. After she had gone upstairs he ran over to where the phone book was sitting. He opened it and quickly found the number he was looking for, he wrote it down on a piece of paper and stuffed it in to his pocket

 

He grabbed the keys, opened the door and left. Making sure the door was locked before he got into her car. Quickly picking up his cell phone, he began to make a call he’s wanted to make all morning.

 

Roughly 45 minutes had passed and Marlena had thrown on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and was drying her hair when she heard the front door close. She set the hairdryer down, and turned off the bathroom light.

 

“John, I wanted to ask you something,” she said as she walked out of the bathroom and headed downstairs. There wasn’t an answer.

 

“John?” she looked around. She could have sworn she heard the front door close. She saw a suitcase lying by the door but it wasn’t the one she wanted to see.

 

“Who the hell is John?” said the voice behind her. Making her jump and turn around.

 

“Roman? What are you doing home?” If this situation could have gotten any worse, it just did.

 

“I asked you first. Who’s John?” Marlena couldn’t miss the angry look he was throwing her away.

 

“John Black” she said.

 

Roman started laughing. “You know Marlena I never really thought you were funny, but that” he was still laughing “That’s priceless.”

 

“It’s not a joke, Roman” she rolled her eyes. What she ever saw in this man she’ll never know.

 

“So you mean to tell me, John Black who’s been dead for 11 years was here in my house?” he came closer to her as she backed up.

 

“Yes. He’s been staying here.” He backed her up until her back was met with the wall

 

“Oh. And you took it upon yourself, to just invite him right in, did you?” he asked with venom in his voice.

 

“I told him I would help him remember who he was” she pushed him back “now move out of my way”

 

He grabbed her arm a little too tightly and she let out a yelp.

 

“Oh, so he doesn’t remember? Isn’t that a bit convinent? Well, sure ok. He claims he loved you so much back when you were 18, then he “dies” only to come back and say he doesn’t remember you? Yeah right Marlena. You probably couldn’t wait till I was out of town so he could move right on in here.” She was trying to get him to let go of her arm but he wouldn’t. If anything he held on tighter

 

“That’s not the way it happened and let go of my arm your hurting me.” She tried to pull back but he was holding her to tightly.

 

“Hurting you? What about me Marlena? I come home because I wanted to try to work things out, here you are not even 24 hrs later and you have another man here, not just any man. John Black!” his voice was rising and she flinched at how angry he sounded.

 

“Work things out?? You’ve never wanted to work things out! Now, LET GO!” she shouted.

 

“No, you make me feel so awful for the things I’ve done and here you are slutting yourself around as soon as I’m out the door!!” he raised his hand as if to hit her, when someone appeared behind him and grabbed his hand.

 

“You touch her again, and I’ll kill you” Marlena looked over and saw the anger in John’s eyes.

 

Roman let go of her arm and turned around. “Well, if it isn’t the infamous John Black. How are ya doing buddy? It’s been a while”

 

“I mean it Roman, you touch her again and you’ll be sorry.” John’s eyes were dark with rage, his face was hard as stone, and he spoke in a tone that could only be described as deathly calm.

 

“I’ll be sorry? I’ll be sorry??” Roman yelled.

 

“That’s what I said, pal” John was angry, he was more than angry. He had heard the shouting when he had gotten out of the car. Seeing another car in the driveway and knowing he had locked the door when he left, he knew something wasn’t right. When he opened the door and saw Roman about to hit Marlena, he saw red.

 

“Roman, I think you should leave” was all Marlena said.

 

“Me leave? No! I want you out of my house.”

 

“Your house? You’re never here long enough for it to be your house!” Marlena had taken all she could take.

 

“I think you should listen to what the lady’s saying”

 

“Lady?” Roman laughed. “Lady isn’t the word to describe my loyal and devoted wife, Marlena”

 

John hadn’t meant for things to turn out this way. But he reared his fist back and punched Roman right square in the chin. Roman stumbled back and fell on his ass.

 

“You ever say anything bad towards her again and I won’t stop at one punch Roman. Now the lady asked you to leave. I think the smart thing to do is to listen to her.” John was standing over Roman, who was holding his chin. He quickly got up, and stumbled back again from his dizziness. Looking from Marlena to John with a look of pure hatred on his face, he grabbed his suitcase and left slamming the door.

 

Marlena was softly crying behind him and he rushed over to her to see if she was all right.

 

“Marlena, Honey? Did he hurt you?” he asked gently. Looking her over to make sure she was really ok. He could already see the bruise forming on her arm from where he had held her too tightly.

 

“No, I’m ok. He’s never done that before. I mean he gets angry, but he’s never tried to hit me. Usually he just yells and eventually leaves. I don’t know what he would have done if you hadn’t come in and stopped him.” She was sobbing now. Unable to control the emotions that were demanding to be released. She leaned into him as he wrapped his arms around her back. She softly smiled.

 

“You were always there to protect me.” She spoke softly

 

“And I always will be Marlena.” He said. Kissing the top of her head, as he continued to hold her.

 

They stood there for about 10 minutes just holding each other when John finally spoke.

 

“I think it would be a good idea, if we got out of this house for a bit. What do you say?” he asked gently. Trying to get her mind off what had just happened.

 

“Ok, What did you have in mind?”

 

“It’s a surprise” he grinned

 

“John…” she eyed him

 

“Yeah I know, I know. You hate surprises. But I think you’ll like this one.” She laughed.

 

“You’ve always said that.” She smiled. “Can’t I have a little hint though?” she asked as politely as she could. “Please?”

 

He laughed “Nope, not even a little one.” She poked him in the ribs.

 

“Do you need to have a shower or anything before we go? She asked.

 

“Nope all taken care of. My suitcase wasn’t even really unpacked at the hotel since we had only gotten there yesterday. So I hopped in the shower when I got there. So I’m all ready to go. Do you need to do anything?” he asked.

 

“Nope I’m ready.”

 

“Ok. Come on let’s go.” She took her hand, grabbed the keys on their way out and closed the door.

 

He had wanted to surprise her by telling her what exactly he remembered. As he was looking through the photo’s last night things had started coming back to him. Holidays they had spent together, days they had spent just lying around and talking. What they wanted out of life, what their dreams were. Just simple things people take for granted. So he wanted to take her to one of their special places they had shared together when they were younger.

 

They were sitting in the car that hadn’t left the driveway yet, and he took out a scarf. She looked over at him like he had grown another head.

 

“John? What are you doing?”

 

He smiled at her “It wouldn’t be a surprise if you were seeing where we were going. You trust me right?” he asked softly. Looking into her eyes.

 

“With my life I do.” She simply replied.

 

“Glad to hear it” He placed the scarf around her eyes and tied it around the back of her head loosely. But tight enough that she couldn’t see.

 

“Ok here we go” as he backed the car out of the driveway.

 

“John? How do you know where you’re going?” she wondered.

 

“All in due time Marlena” and that’s all he said.

 

Marlena guessed they had been driving for about 10 minutes before the car came to a stop. “I’ll just a second ok? I have to run in and get something.” She looked over in the direction of his voice.

 

“Ok” She hoped no one could see her. How she must look sitting in the car by herself with a blindfold on.

 

John ran to the house and knocked on the door and Hope answered.

 

“Hi, Hope. Do you have it?” he asked excitement lacing his voice.

 

“Yep, it’s right here.” She handed him what he had call her about.

 

“Thanks, I owe you for this.” He smiled.

 

“I’m just happy you’re back” she said a huge smile on her face.

 

“Well, not all the way. But, I’m getting there.” He thanked her again and then ran back to the car placing everything on the back seat. He got back into the driver’s seat and turned to Marlena.

 

“Ok now we’re all set.”

 

“Can’t I just have a little hint? It’s driving me crazy” and it was she had no idea what he had planned but it was slowly driving her insane.

 

“No hints, what would be the fun in knowing?” he asked with a smirk on his face.

 

“Um. Knowing?” she said, as he laughed.

 

“Soon, Marlena. Soon” as he started driving once again.

They finally reached their destination 20 minutes later, and John got out of the car. Quickly running over to the passenger side, he helped Marlena out.

Walking her only 2 feet away he said. “Stay here.” And ran back to the car and opened the back door. Grabbing everything Hope had gotten for him he started to prepare his surprise for her.

 

“Almost done,” he said. When he noticed her shifting from one for to the other.

 

When he had finished. He walked back over to Marlena and stood behind her.

 

“Ok. Ready?”

 

“I’ve been ready since you told me it was a surprise.” They both laughed.

 

He started undoing the knot at the back of the scarf and let it fall from her eyes slowly.

She blinked a couple of times to get used to the sunlight, and then she covered her mouth as tears came to her eyes.

 

“You like it?” he asked softly.

 

“You remembered this?” she turned around and looked up at him.

 

“Yeah, last night I did. While I was looking through the pictures you gave me.” He took her hand and started walking over to the blanket.

 

He had taken her to the hill that over looked Salem. Re-creating the day they had spent there so many years ago. He had laid out a blanket on the grass and a picnic basket rested near the edge. The sun was shining and the birds were singing just as they had done so all those years ago. She couldn’t help but start crying.

 

“Marlena, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he said. Taking her hand and kissing her softly on her knuckles.

 

“I’m just happy that you remembered. You didn’t have to do this though”

 

“But, I wanted to. I wanted to bring you here because this place had meant so much to us when we were younger. It was our place. We came here whenever we needed to get away. A place where we could be alone to talk about anything and everything. I know how much you loved it here and I wanted to do this for you, for us.” He smiled gently at her and wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. “Come on, let’s see what we have to eat since someone decided to play with our food this morning rather than eat it.” She swatted him in the arm and laughed.

 

“Yeah, sure blame that all on me. How did you do all of this though?” She said as they both sat down on the blanket.

 

“Oh you know I have my sources.” And he winked at her and she laughed. “I actually brought you here because I wanted to tell you some things.” He said as he started pulling the food out of the basket.

 

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” she cocked her head to the side in curiosity.

 

“Things, that I remember.” He took a pause. “I remember I came here because both of my parents had died, and I was sent here to live with my aunt Vivian ” He noticed Marlena’s eyes sadden. “Marlena what’s wrong?” he asked moving closer to her.

 

“I was just remembering the pain you were in when you first came to Salem. You looked so alone, so unsure of everything around you.” She leaned back on her hands and looked up towards the sky. “But over time, I saw it fade. It was hard around the Holidays I think for you the most. You tried to hide it as best as you could. But I saw it.”

 

“But I had you to help me through it. You were always there for me, Marlena. Even now you’re there for me, and I can never tell you how much that means to me.” He started getting choked up and she pulled him into a hug.

 

“I’ll always be here for you, no matter what ok?” she reassured him, and she felt him nod his head.

 

Just then his phone ringed. “Argh. I hate this stupid thing, I don’t even know why I have it.” She laughed. “I’ll just turn the ringer off.” She stopped him.

 

“You should get it, it might be important.”

 

“You sure?” he asked.

 

“Yeah. Go ahead. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“Good” he smiled, as he answered his cell phone. “You have really bad timing, Brian. I’m busy can’t this wait until later?” he paused “ya know, when someone is on vacation that usually means you don’t call them.” He said in a sarcastic tone. Marlena couldn’t help but over hear and was brought back down to earth with the realization that John was only here on a holiday. Soon he would have to leave. Returning to the other life he had made for himself when he couldn’t remember this one or her.

 

“What do you mean they’re stealing it??” he stood up and started pacing. “Well, have you started doing damage control?” he wiped his forehead. “No, no I understand. Ok, I’ll talk to you later.” And he hung up his phone.

 

“John? Is there something wrong?” she stood up and walked over to him.

 

“I own a large advertising agency in New York City, we had a large account worth $5 million, and a competitor of mine is on the verge of stealing it. They said they need me to fly back to New York.” He couldn’t help but see the sadness in Marlena’s eyes.

 

“Well, if you have to go, you have to go.” She said as she turned her back to him

 

“Marlena, wait.” Touching her shoulder, forcing her to look at him. “I don’t want to go. God knows I don’t want to leave you. But I have to go back to fix whatever mess they made, and then I can come back.”

 

“Is that the way it’s going to be? You coming back and forth spending a week here and a week there I understand you have a life there John, a life that for the past 11 yrs hasn’t included me. But, I can’t sit here and watch you leave over and over again. I won’t put myself through that. I’m sorry, but it was hard enough the first time.” She said wiping the tears away angrily. “I meant what I said I will always be here for you. But I won’t play this game where you come into my life only to walk out the door again, I can’t do it” she said as she walked over to the blanket and started to gather up all their things.

 

He wanted to say something, anything to try and reassure her. But the words wouldn’t come. All he could was stand there and watch her as she headed back towards the car.

 

They drove back to Marlena’s house in silence. Both wanting to say something but neither one had the nerve. He parked the car in the driveway and got out, only to see Marlena headed to the house, and he quickly followed her inside.

 

“Marlena, please try to understand I would never leave you.” She stopped on the staircase and turned around.

 

“I know it wasn’t your fault John but you have to understand. You said those same words to me once before.” She slowly walked down the stairs and over to him. “I know it wasn’t your fault. But you have to put yourself in my shoes. I understand why you have to go back. I do. You have a life there; other commitments, and it wouldn’t be fair of me to ask you to give those up. But can you try to look at this from my point of view? Can you?” she asked softly. “When I thought you died John….”

 

“But I’m not dead.” He said

 

“No you’re not” she smiled. “But you are leaving again.”

 

He pulled her into a hug. “I will make this better Marlena, I swear to you I will.”

 

John had called the airline and had gotten a flight out to New York City due to a passenger cancellation. He insisted on calling a cab, but Marlena had offered to drive him. He already had his bags in the trunk of her car from earlier that morning so he accepted though he hesitated in doing so.

 

The drive to the airport had been a quiet one. Each lost in their own thoughts. He wasn’t surprised when she got out of the car and walked into the airport with him. He was holding her hand as they made their way towards the gate. She followed him as far as she was able to and looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

 

“I love you, Marlena.” She looked up at him

 

“What did you say?” not knowing if she had heard right.

 

“That’s why I had taken you there today. When we were 16 I had taken you there and I had told you I was in love with you. I know it’s not the same as it was back then. But I do love you, I remember loving you, all those days we just laid around and talked for hours.” He paused. “For years I’ve had this emptiness Marlena, this void within myself, that nothing could fill. And then you walked into my hospital room and everything was put back into place, there was no emptiness when you were with me. You made me a whole person Marlena, and I love you.” They both had tears running down their faces. “I will be coming back this time. And if the past makes it hard for you to truly believe me, then believe in my love for you ok?” he kissed her softly on the lips. It was gentle, not a goodbye kiss but a kiss that was filled with love, filled with hope, and filled with the promises they had made to each other one day long ago when had both been 16.

 

“I’ll call you when I get in ok?” he touched her cheek.

 

All she could do was nod as she touched her lips where his kiss lingered. He turned around slowly, and started walking away.

 

She watched as he walked through the gate and stood in line to board his flight, and a thought occurred to her.

 

“John!” she yelled. Catching his attention he looked over at her.

 

“I love you too,” she said, and she watched as his face lit up and he smiled that smile that made her knees turn to jelly. He got lost in the crowd and she wasn’t able to see him anymore, turning around slowly she left the airport.

Marlena had just arrived home from taking John to the airport when the doorbell rang. She walked over and answered and saw Hope standing there.

 

“Hope! Hi!” she pulled her into a hug.

 

“Hi, Marlena. How are you?”

 

“I’m doing ok. How are you? How’s Bo? I haven’t seen him in what seems like so long.” She stepped aside and let Hope enter her house gently shutting the door behind her.

 

“He’s ok. Been really busy with work though. There’s a new case and he’s getting a lot of leads so he seems to be spending less time at home.” She gave her a sad smile. “But you understand.”

 

“Hmm yeah.” Was all Marlena said.

 

“Marlena? Where’s John? And where’s Roman for that matter?” she asked.

 

“They are both gone.” Marlena got up and walked into the kitchen, and Hope followed.

 

“Gone? What do you mean?” she leaned up against the counter.

 

“Roman left this morning. He came home early from one of his many out of town “assignments”” Hope rolled her eyes, she knew some of what had been happening to Roman and Marlena over the years. She knew her friend was never truly happy, and she also knew how Roman had treated Marlena. On the outside they appeared like they had the perfect marriage. Always making appearances and playing the roles as husband and wife, But she knew. She saw the sadness in Marlena’s eyes and was saddened that her friend was so unhappy.

 

“We were arguing and John came in, there was a confrontation and Roman ended up leaving. I can’t say I’m really sorry though. I bet that makes me look like such a horrible person, doesn’t it?” she looked up at Hope and quickly looked away.

 

Hope took Marlena’s hand and shook her head. “No, it doesn’t make you a horrible person, Marlena. You’re human and sometimes these things just happen. You are such a good person; a good friend and you were a good wife despite it all, even if he was a lousy husband. After everything you’ve been through you deserve a chance to be happy.” she smiled softly. “Speaking of happy, how are things with John going?”

 

“Things are going great actually. It’s so hard to explain but it feels like no time has gone by at all. The pain has lessoned now that he’s back. But I can’t help but feel something is going to come along and take it all away. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop and it all be gone again.” He walked over to the table and sat down. “I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost him again.”

 

“Where did he have to go?” Hope asked.

 

“He had to go back to New York City. There was business there that needed his attention. I told him I understood. He has a life there, I can’t ask him to drop it all for me. But I just got him back and he’s gone again”

 

“How long will he be gone did he say?”

 

“No, but I imagine it will take a week at least to sort everything out, by the sounds of it, it sounded pretty serious”

 

“Well, you want my suggestion?” Marlena looked at her. “If I were in your shoes, I’d go to him.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean go to NY and see him. You’ve been working so much lately at the hospital. You deserve a break. You deserve this Marlena you really do.” She smiled softly.

 

“You really think so?”

 

“Yeah I think so” Marlena started laughing.

 

“I don’t know why I never thought of this before. Of course I could go.” She got up and went to Hope and gave her a huge hug. “I don’t know what I would do without you. You’ve been my best friend through it all Hope and I can’t tell you how much that has meant to me.”

 

“Your friendship has always meant a lot to me too Marlena. I just want to see you happy and I think a certain person in New York City can bring you that.” She smiled.

 

“Yeah you’re right. I gotta call the airline and get the first flight out.” She was so excited she didn’t know which way to go. Hope just started laughing and Marlena turned and looked at her.

 

“What’s so funny?”

 

“You look like your going to jump out of your skin, you’re so excited. I haven’t seen you like this since we were teenagers. I’ve missed it.” She said softly.

 

“I’ve missed it too.” She smiled back. “Now come on, you’re the lucky one who gets to help me pack.” And she walked out of the kitchen and up towards her bedroom.

Marlena had called the hospital and told them she was going to be out of town for at least a week and left a message for her secretary to cancel all of her appointments because she had to unexpectedly leave town for a week or so…. it wasn’t a complete lie. It was unexpected.

 

She had called the airline and had gotten a flight out first thing in the morning. So with Hope’s help she had gotten packed and ready for her flight the night before. She hardly slept that night; her nerves were raw with excitement and tension. She wanted this and she told herself she deserved it. John had called when his flight got in but she hadn’t mentioned anything to him about coming because she wanted it to be a surprise.

Hope had mentioned when they got back to Salem they should all get together and have a celebration of John’s return. She knew people would start questioning when they got back to town, so she agreed but wanted to talk to John about it first. Since the party was in his honor anyway.

 

She had gotten up early and had a shower making sure she hadn’t forgotten anything last minute and headed towards the airport.

The flight had been uneventful; she had taken her laptop with her to work on some patient reports to keep her mind busy.

She was just finishing the last of her work when they announced they would be landing at JFK airport. Her nerves starting up again and she wondered for the 10th time today if she should have done this. But every answer she came up with was yes. So she tried so push her doubts to the back of her mind and concentrate on more important things.

 

She had called the night before and had located John’s agency and place of residence, but was kind of concerned about just showing up at his office. She got into a waiting cab and called him on her cell phone.

 

The secretary answered and she asked if he was in.

 

“I’m sorry but Mr. Black has gone home for the afternoon. Can I take a message?”

 

“Um No, no message. Thank you.” She was surprised to hear he wasn’t at work. And she quickly pulled out her address book from her purse where she had quickly written down his address. She told the cab driver where to go and once again her nerves kicked in.

 

About 30 minutes later, and 20 near death experiences at the hands of one of the infamous NY cab drivers she arrived at 71st street and Central Park. After paying the car driver an atrocious amount of money, she got out and took her bags. She looked upward at the tall building took a deep breathe and walked through the door, thanking the door man who had kindly held the door for her.

 

Stopping at the elevator, she pulled out the paper that had his apartment number on it, he lived on the 28th floor, which happened to be the penthouse. The elevator dinged, picking up her bags she stepped in, and watched as the doors closed.

 

She had finally reached the top floor and stepped out of the elevator. Walking slowly over to the door, she stood there for a minute and tried to collect herself. What was she suppose to say. She turned around and walked back towards the elevator when she realized how childish she was being and walked back over to his door. Setting her bags down she wiped her hands on her suit pants, why was she so nervous? It’s not like she has never met him before. Gathering up her courage she knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer.

 

The door opened to revealed a woman in a uniform; it must be the maid she thought to herself.

 

“May I help you?” she asked.

 

“Yes I’m here to see John Black is he here?” Marlena, asked softly. What if he wasn’t? Way to plan this out Marlena she chided herself.

 

“He’s in the shower at the moment, is he expecting you?” she looked down at the bags at Marlena’s feet and looked back up and met her eyes.

 

“Not exactly. I’m an old friend of his. I saw him again when he was on his recent vacation and I wanted to surprise him.”

 

“Come in” she said picking up Marlena’s bags she went back inside, with Marlena quickly in toe.

 

“Wait here please.” She said setting down her bags she quickly walked away.

 

Marlena stood in the foyer, and couldn’t but wander a bit into the room to the right of her. What she saw took her breath away. She stood in the entranceway of the living room. There was a Persian rug on the floor, 2 sofas were facing each other on top of it, and there was a glass coffee table in between. A fireplace was on the left wall, with a mirror mounted above it, paintings lined the walls, and a chandelier hung overhead in the middle of the room. She walked over to the window on the other side of the room and looked out. There was a beautiful view of central park down below, hearing footsteps she quickly went back to her place in the foyer and waited.

 

She heard his laugh then, that sexy laugh he had and she smiled, her smile quickly faded when she heard a female laugh follow shortly behind his. She peeked around the corner of the wall and saw him, his hair still wet; he was dressed in black dress pants and had on a dark green cashmere sweater. He stood there with his back to her, and he was softly talking to what appeared to be Catherine? What was she doing back here? They were having their own private conversation. She had no idea if John was even aware she was here. Apparently, by the looks of things he didn’t. She saw the maid walk over just as John took Catherine’s face in his hands, and giving her a chaste kiss on the lips. Pulling back he gave her a hug, just as Catherine saw Marlena standing there, the maid announced John had a visitor. Turning around he looked at Marlena with a mixture of shock and surprise. “Marlena?” he said in disbelief.

 

Marlena with tears in her eyes, pulled a long jewelry box out of her purse, and threw it at him. Turning around quickly, she opened the door and ran from the penthouse.

Marlena was frantically pushing the elevator button. She couldn’t believe what she had just seen. John kissing Catherine? She didn’t want to believe it but she had seen it with her own two eyes. John ran out of his penthouse trying to catch Marlena.

 

“Marlena! Please wait. I can explain!” He was trying desperately to get her to stay. He had been surprised to see her standing in his foyer. Happy but surprised. He knew what she had seen and knew that she would misunderstand.

 

“Explain what? That you were kissing someone else?” Marlena was angry. But she was more hurt than anything else. How could he do this? She thought. Sure it wasn’t a passionate kiss but he kissed her all same. She didn’t know all of their history; she knew from the hospital that they had been engaged. It hurt her to see him with her; she admitted to herself that she was jealous.

 

“Marlena, it wasn’t what it looked like. Please, come back inside and let me explain, Please?” she saw the sadness in his eyes, and looked at the elevator when the doors opened and saw the elevator operator standing there watching the scene unfold.

 

She didn’t say a word. She slowly turned and walked back inside his apartment, with him quickly following. He closed the door behind him and she stood there with her arms crossed over her chest. Just then Catherine walked over with a suitcase and told John she’d come back later. Marlena rolled her eyes and glared at Catherine.

Catherine looked at Marlena then back to John and quietly left.

 

“Marlena, come sit down” he asked walking towards the spacious living room.

 

“No, I think I’ll stand right here.” Marlena said, her voice like ice.

 

“Please, Marlena?”

 

She let out a sigh and walked passed him, he followed and sat down on the nearest sofa, and she sat across from him. He looked at her. He could tell from her body language that she was upset. Her body was rigid, her eyes had turned a dark hazel, and when she spoke it sent chills up his spine from how icy the words were.

 

“You said you would explain, so explain” If the air could have gotten any cooler, it just did he thought to himself

 

Where do I start he thought? How can I make her understand? He decided to tell her everything. To say it all, he only hoped in the end she would understand why he did what he did.

 

“Catherine and I met when I was in the hospital after the accident…she was there when I woke up. She was patient and understanding, She’s a lot like you in that sense, Marlena.” Taking a small pause he continued. “We got engaged 4 years later. We never set a date. Well, actually she wanted to but I never could. I can’t explain it but I just never could. Maybe deep down I knew that she was not the one I was meant to marry, to spend my life with. I loved her yes, but I know now she isn’t the person I was meant to be with. You are, Marlena.” He noticed her face soften as he said those words and a tiny bit of hope was restored.

“I was at work early this morning trying to fix the problems that arose. She called me on my cell phone, and was surprised to hear that I was also back the City. She had gotten back into New York earlier that morning and wanted to talk. I figured it was the least I could do. So I had come home and she was here, we just sat around and talked. Mostly, I talked about you. Things I remembered. She was really happy for me Marlena. Happy for us, she really was. She decided the best thing to do was to leave. I’m guessing she had made her decision before she even called me because she already had a suitcase packed in the bedroom. I didn’t want to leave things the way they were.”

 

Marlena shifted on the couch, feeling as though he was getting to the part she wasn’t going to like.

 

“I had invited her out for lunch, to a little place we used to go. I didn’t want there to be any bad feelings. I told her I just had to hop in the shower and change. And so she waited. What you saw Marlena was innocent I swear to you it was. I will always love her for what she’s done for me… she was there when I didn’t even remember my own name. I had no past, no family, and no memory of who I truly was. But she loved me. And I told her that. That’s what I was telling her in the hallway, that’s what you saw. That kiss was nothing more than a goodbye kiss between friends. I swear Marlena. Please believe me.”

 

He had moved to the edge of the sofa, tears in his eyes. Hoping, praying Marlena had enough faith in him to believe the words he was saying to her. He held his heart in his hands and was waiting to see if she would take it, and keep it safe or if she would take it and rip it to shreds.

 

She slowly rose off the sofa and walked over and sat beside him. Taking his hands in hers she smiled softly at him. “Yes I believe you.” She said in a whisper, tears falling from her eyes. He pulled her into a hug the tears now falling slowly down his face.

 

“I love you, Marlena. I know now that there will never be anyone for me but you.” He pulled back out of the hug and took her face in her hands. Bringing her lips to his he kissed her. The kiss was slow at first but was soon filled with urgency. Marlena got up on her knees and then straddled his lap. He ran his fingers through her hair, and she let out a moan.

 

“Mr. Black?” the maid said from the doorway.

 

“What??” he said as he tore his lips from Marlena’s

 

“You’re wanted on the phone.” He groaned.

 

“Ok that’s twice now I can’t take it,” He said with a smile on his face. He looked at Marlena and saw that her lips were swollen. He leaned forward and started nibbling on her bottom lip making her giggle.

Marlena looked up to see the maid still standing there, and she pulled away from John and he pouted, making her laugh she got off his lap. “The faster you take care of that phone call the faster we can finish what you so obviously started.”

 

“Yes ma’am” he said as he left the room to talk to whoever had interrupted them.

 

He came back about 10 minutes later to find Marlena looking out one of his living room windows. He walked up behind her and put her arms around her waist and rested his head upon her shoulder. “It looks so pretty down there.”

 

“Ah yes Central Park.” He said as he began to nibble on her ear. She moved her head to the side to give him better access.

 

“Was everything alright? The phone call I mean?” she asked.

 

He raised his head and looked down at the street below. “Yep, all taken care of.” An idea struck him. “Marlena? How long are you here for?”

 

“I go back a week from tomorrow. Why?” she questioned. Turning around she looked at him.

 

“Just wondered. You really did surprise me, you know.” He smiled. “But I’m glad you did. I was missing you.”

 

“Well, the whole point was to surprise you. I have to admit it wasn’t entirely my idea though.”

 

“It wasn’t?”

 

“No. Hope gave me the idea. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it. But, I’m glad someone did.” She smiled.

 

“Well, I’ll have to thank her when we get back to Salem.” He took her hand and kissed it. “Why don’t I show you the bedroom?” John smiled as her face blushed. “No I didn’t mean like that.” He grinned. “I meant so you could unpack. You have such a one track mind Marlena.” He laughed as she hit him in the arm. He walked back over to where Marlena’s bags had been sitting, picked them up and led her to the bedroom.

 

Marlena could not get over how big his apartment was. They walked down the hallway and they passed the kitchen, it was huge she thought to herself. She made a mental note to look at it later. They finally entered the bedroom and she stood there in awe.

 

There was a king sized 4 poster bed, that stood a few inches off the ground, the far wall was all glass and had two glass doors that led out to a terrace, there was a huge painting on the wall at the head of the bed, there were three doors, one was ahead of her off to the right, which was opened and looked to be the master bathroom, she could see marble floors, and a Jacuzzi. She looked around to examine the rest of the bedroom, the double doors next to her she assumed was a closet. She pulled herself out of her thoughts and looked at John, only to find he was staring at her.

 

“You like it?” he asked.

 

“It’s beautiful.” She said still looking around. “Where would you like me to put my things” he opened the closet door, and walked in. “you can hang them all up on here if you like, I never use up all the space anyway, so whatever you have just put it in here.” he walked back out and kissed her forehead. “I have to go take care of something’s I should be done soon though. If not just come look for me, ok?”

 

“Ok, thank you” she smiled softly. He kissed her quickly on the lips and left the room. He wanted today and tonight to be special, and he knew just what to do. Picking up the jewelry box she had thrown at him earlier he went and made some calls.

Marlena had just finished unpacking when John came back into the room, smiling at her.

 

“What are you grinning at?” she asked seeing the mischief in his eyes.

 

“Can’t a guy grin?” he asked innocently.

 

“Yes, they can. But, you’re up to something.” She walked over and put her arms around his neck, and looked into his eyes. “So are you going to tell me what it is?” as she started kissing his neck his eyes closed.

 

“Marlena I can’t, It’s a surprise.” And he heard her groan, and pull away. “You’ll like it I promise you, you will.”

 

“John you say that to me every single time. We’re not going to go driving around to some hidden location are we?” she tried to get as much information out of him as she could.

 

“Nope.” Was all he said.

 

“Are you going to blindfold me again?” she asked.

 

“Nope, but if you liked it that much the first time it could be arranged” he grinned and walked out of the room. He called back to her and said. “You might want to change into something more comfortable though, and make sure your wearing comfortable shoes too” And with that he walked out of sight.

 

5 minutes later she walked out of his bedroom wearing a sundress that almost touched her ankles, it had tiny flowers printed on it and was a pale yellow that was a little lighter than her hair color. She carried her sandals in her hand, and John whistled, making her blush. “So are you going to let me in on your secret?” she asked looking up. She noticed he had changed into jeans but left his dark green sweater on.

 

“Good one, Marlena. You’re a funny girl.” He laughed.

 

“Well, between the two of us someone has to be funny.” She smiled.

 

He grabbed his chest, and stumbled backwards. “You wound me with your words, Marlena.” Then he gave her a wide smile in return, and her heartbeat sped up. God how she loved that smile.

 

“So are you ready?” he asked. Snapping her out of her thoughts.

 

“Yep, Just let me grab my purse.” And with that they left his apartment.

 

He led her out of the building thanking the doorman, he took her hand and she looked up at him. “So are we driving?” he laughed. “I never drive myself in this city, and I don’t take cabs either, personally I think they are all psycho” she laughed then. “Yeah I experienced a little of that on my way here.”

 

He smiled down at her and kissed her forehead “To answer your first question no we’re not driving we’re walking. It’s not far from here actually.” he said and took her hand.

 

“How far?” she questioned him.

 

“Across the road” was all he said. And she looked. He was taking her to Central Park, and she smiled.

 

After traffic was clear, they ran across the two-lane street, and walked along the sidewalk until they came to the park entrance. John put his arm around Marlena’s shoulder and she put her left arm around his waist. They were walking down the main walkway of the park and she saw people sitting on the benches that were on either side, she heard kids playing and she smiled. They kept walking and the areas became more secluded.

 

“Where are taking me John?” she asked with curiosity.

 

“Patience, Marlena.” He smiled knowing she didn’t have any when it came to things like this.

 

They came to a clearing and she saw it, a lake. It was beautiful. Surrounded by trees, people were sunbathing. Some were reading under the shade provided by the larger trees. John took her hand and walked her over to a boathouse. “Wait here” he said and she did just that. Looking around she saw children running, dog’s chasing the ducks that were around the lake, and people enjoying a day away from the packed streets and the noise that was part of their everyday life.

John came back out of the boathouse and walked over to her. “Ok all set,” he said.

 

“John what are we doing?” as he led her over to the boat landing.

 

“Why, Marlena I’m taking you on a boat ride.” And she froze. Images came back to her that she had tried to forget over the years. The memories of her frantically screaming his name, looking for him, and the feeling of hopelessness when he didn’t resurface. Her trying to jump overboard only to have Bo stop her, and him jump in instead. They all came rushing back to her, like it was yesterday and she got tears in her eyes.

 

“Marlena, hey” John said softly. “What’s wrong?” he led her over to a bench and sat her down, as he crouched in front of her and held her hands in his.

 

“I can’t John.”

 

“You can’t what?” he asked gently.

 

“I can’t get in a boat again.” She sobbed.

 

It dawned on him how stupid he was, as he mentally slapped himself. “Marlena, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think. I come here all the time and just wanted to share it with you, but I’m so sorry I didn’t think.” She looked up at him and wiped her tears away.

 

“You come here all the time?” she whispered.

 

“Yeah, when the day’s get too trying I come here and just relax. Most of the time I just take a small boat out and let it drift, and I’ll read or something. It takes my mind off things, gets me away from the noise. Gives me time to think. I have never told anyone, and I wanted to share it with you. But, I didn’t think about the accident I’m sorry, Marlena.” And he kissed her hands lightly.

 

“How much do you remember about it.” She asked and looked down towards her sandals. He took his finger and put it under her chin and brought her eyes up to look at his. “I didn’t remember a lot of it before I came back to Salem. I remembered fuzzy things but nothing solid. Now though, now I remember almost everything I think. I remember that day, the sun was shining we were with friends and I remember holding you, as you laughed. It gets fuzzy but I remember you yelling at me to get down, and then I remember falling. The last thing I remember is hitting the water and that’s it.” He wiped a stray tear that had fallen down her cheek.

 

“I was screaming for you, I tried to jump overboard but Bo wouldn’t let me. He jumped in and looked for what seemed like hours but he couldn’t find you. If only you wouldn’t haven’t climbed up there.” Marlena looked out to the water. “So much time was lost John.”

 

“And I will regret that for the rest of my life Marlena. I never wanted to be taken from you. I made a stupid choice, and I can’t apologize enough for putting you through all of that pain. The only thing I can do is try, try to heal the pain you’ve been in for so long.”

 

She smiled softly, and leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips. She looked at him for a moment then said, “How can you go out there knowing what you know now?”

 

“Because I refuse to live my life in fear because of the accident. I can’t stop doing the things I love to do. If you don’t want to go out that’s ok. I understand. I really do, Marlena.” She looked in his eyes and only saw understanding, and love. And she smiled.

 

“If this is what you love, and you want to share it with me. Then I’ll go with you.” He stood her up and she saw how his face had lit up, he picked her up and twirled her around.

 

“It will be great Marlena. Just the two of us.”

 

Marlena laughed over his excitement. It was always so contagious. Her stomach was in knots. But she knew she wanted to do this for John, and for her own sake. She knew she had to do this more for herself than anything else. She needed to heal the wounds that had been left unattended for so long.

John helped Marlena into the small rowing boat. Making sure she was as comfortable as possible he sat at the other end. He couldn’t help but see how bad her hands were shaking.

 

“Are sure you’re ok with this, Marlena? If you’re not we can get out.” He asked gently.

 

“No it’s ok. I’m a little nervous but I’ll be alright.” She smiled trying to reassure him. Her insides were knots. She hadn’t stepped onto a boat in almost 12 years. But she knew deep inside she needed to do this.

 

“Ok, then here we go.” And he slowly started to row them away from the dock. Marlena had a death grip on either side of the boat, so John was thinking of anything to say to get her mind off of it. “Do you remember that time when we were 17, and we all went camping, and Hope, Lexie and you kept hearing noises outside the tents. So the 3 of you kicked Bo, Abe and I out to see what it was and it turned out to be skunk?” John saw Marlena’s eyes light up and she started laughing hysterically.

 

“The three of you got sprayed and we made all three of you sleep together in another tent.” She said trying to catch her breath.

 

“I don’t remember it being so funny though.” And he raised a eyebrow at her.

 

“Well, I told you then and I’ll tell you now. One day you’ll look back and laugh at the whole experience.” She smiled.

 

“Yes, I’m sure one day I’ll find the humor in it” and he winked at her.

 

“So what else do you remember?” she asked.

 

“I remember when we stayed at Smith Island.” He stopped rowing, figuring they were out far enough.

 

She looked at him. “How much do you remember?”

 

“All of it.” He said and she blushed. “Hold on.” He said and he shifted a bit so he was almost lying in the boat. She looked at him and smiled. She slowly moved towards him. Trying not to rock the boat as much as possible. She had both hands on either side of the boat to balance, she lowered her body beside his, and she rested her head on his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair and continued. “I remember it was the first night we ever made love. I wanted it to be special for you. I remember the fire going in the fireplace, there was music playing, and we danced. I really the way you felt, the way you moved.” She smiled against his chest. “When I first remembered I thought it was a dream. Now I know it wasn’t.” he smiled at the memory.

 

“I don’t think that night could have gotten any more special.” She kissed his chest through his shirt and put her arm around his stomach, as she smiled. “I love you.” She said softly.

 

“I love you too, Marlena. More than I think you’ll ever know.” He said as he ran his fingers through her hair again. The boat was drifting, Marlena was tucked into his arms and he smiled up towards the sky, thanking whoever it was that was watching over them.

 

Marlena opened her eyes and yawned. She lifted her head up and looked at John’s face only to see him sleeping. She watched him for a minute. He looked so peaceful, and his features had softened making him look like the young boy she knew so long ago.

Looking at her watch she noticed it was almost 4pm. She took her finger and lightly started touching his face. He turned his face away but she kept doing it.

 

“I hope you’re enjoying yourself.” He said as he started to open his eyes.

 

“I am very much thank you.” She grinned. He blinked his eyes a few times to get used to the sunlight and then he looked at her, and grinned back. He took his hand and touched her cheek. She leaned into his touch and closed her eyes.

 

“What time is it?” he asked.

 

“A little before 4.” She replied, her eyes slowly opening again.

 

“4 o’clock? Shit.” He said covering his eyes. He couldn’t believe he had fallen asleep for a little over an hour and a half.

 

“Why what’s wrong?” she asked concerned.

 

“Nothing, I just can’t believe I slept that long that’s all. We should head back to shore.” His words came out harsher than he intended. She slowly started to sit up; still aware they were in a boat. She carefully maneuvered her way back to where she had been sitting earlier and looked out at the water to the left of her.

 

“Hey, Marlena.” He got closer to her. “I’m sorry for being short, I have plans for us later and I can’t believe I fell asleep. I wanted today to be special.” She looked at him then and he leaned over and kissed her on her lips. Pulling away he sat back down in his seat and began to row them back to the boathouse. She smiled at him and he looked at her and smiled in return.

 

“Today is special John because I’m here with you.” She said and put her hand in the water. She was surprised to find she wasn’t as scared as she was when she first got in the boat. Maybe it was because John was with her, or maybe it was herself she thought. She decided it was a little bit of both.

 

They had gotten back to the dock and John had helped her out of the boat. They walked hand in hand out the park the same way they had come in.

 

“Where are we going.” Marlena said looking at John.

 

“Well, we have to go back to my apartment and get dressed.”

 

“Get dressed for what?” she asked cocking her head to the side.

 

“We’re going out to dinner. You still like Italian?” he asked.

 

She smiled at the fact that he remembered. “Mmm yes, I do.”

 

He gave her a sexy smile. “Good, cause that’s what we’re having.”

 

They walked back to his apartment and got on the elevator, and waited for the operator to take them to John’s floor.

 

They entered his apartment, John shut the door and walked into a different room, he came back with a smile on his face, and Marlena turned to him. “What should I wear?”

 

“Hmm if I had my way nothing.” She blushed then smacked him in the arm. “I was being serious.”

 

“So was I.” John said then winked at her, making her laugh. “Ok, well, if you must wear something, wear something formal.”

 

The thought occurred to Marlena that she had everything except something suitable, for what John was describing. This is great she thought.

 

“That’s sound great, but I’m sorry to say I didn’t bring anything that like with me.” And he grinned.

 

She crossed her arms. “And what do you find so amusing.”

 

“Don’t worry Marlena, I got it covered. I wasn’t sure if you had brought anything like that with you so I called up my assistant and asked her for a huge favor. I just hope you like it. My tux is here too, I just checked. So if you like the dress then we’re all set.” She was touched that he thought of her, and she walked over and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer. She was beginning to devour him with her mouth when he finally spoke, “You know, as much as I would love for you to have your way with me, I have to stop you.”

 

She looked up at him, her breath had quickened and it took all of his strength not to take her right there.

 

“We have a reservation for 7pm, and it’s 4:45 right now.” She pouted, and he kissed her pouted lips. He walked over to where his tux was and grabbed the garment bag with her dress in it. He held the bag up and prayed she liked it.

 

“Thank you.” She flashed him a smile, took the dress, gave him a quick kiss on the lips and went into his bedroom. He looked at his watch once more grabbed his tux and went into one of the extra bathrooms to get ready.

 

15 minutes later, Marlena got out of the shower wrapping a towel around herself she put her hair up in a towel as well, then she grabbed her make-up bag and hair dryer. Going back into the bathroom she started getting ready.

 

John just had a pair of boxers on, and was running a towel over his head quickly, trying to get the excess water off. He couldn’t quiet his nerves down, and stood there looking into the mirror over the bathroom sink. He was trying and failing to calm himself down. He laughed suddenly, he could make a presentation in front of 50 people, even more than that. But, one woman scared the hell out of him. Looking at his watch beside the sink it read 5:05. Ok enough of just standing here, he said to himself. And walked over and grabbed his tux.

 

John had gotten ready first. Seeing his bedroom door closed he figured she was still getting ready. Before he forgot he ran over and grabbed something off a nearby table, and tucked it safely inside his tux jacket. Wiping his hands on his pants he started biting his nails. Looking at his watch for about the 20th time in the last hr it read 5:22pm. He walked over to a full-length wall mirror and made sure he looked ok.

 

He had one a black tuxedo, with a black bow tie, and black shoes to match. He had put a tiny bit of gel in his hair to spike the front of it a bit. He walked away from the mirror, fiddling with things trying to keep his mind off how nervous he was when he heard his bedroom click open. Looking over he nearly lost his balance. She was beautiful. His mouth hung open, and Marlena smiled at him.

 

Marlena was wearing the dress he had given her. It was a black chiffon evening gown that just went past her ankles. It perfectly fit the upper half but then began to drape at her thighs and continue down past her ankles. The front of it was v-necked and showed just a hint of cleavage, and the dress had spaghetti straps that criss-crossed at the back.

The back of the dress was open and had a deep v-neck that dipped down to the small of her back, that was accented by several strands clasped by a sparkling brooch. She had matching black-strapped heels on, and a matching purse.

Please let me remember to give my assistant a raise he thought.

 

She had pinned her hair up off her neck, and left a few pieces down that she had curled.

 

He was still standing there staring with his mouth open when he realized Marlena had been talking to him.

 

“I’m sorry, what?”

 

She smiled. “You haven’t heard anything I’ve said have you?”

 

He gave her a sheepish grin. “Sorry, no I haven’t”

 

She laughed. “I asked you if you liked it. But I guess you do.”

 

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Yeah I like it.” She smiled at her. “You look beautiful Marlena.” He said softly, walking over to her.

 

“You think so?” He nodded. “You look mighty fine yourself there.” She smiled, as she started kissing his neck.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yep, absolutely edible.” He swallowed. His first thought was to say ‘let’s skip dinner’ but he wanted to make this special. So he pulled away and gently kissed Marlena on the lips.

Clearing his throat, he looked at her again. “Are you ready to go?”

 

“Yep, if you are.”

 

“Ok hold on.” He got on his cell phone and Marlena only heard ‘is it here yet?’ John seemed to like the answer on the other end, and he closed his phone. He sat it down and she presumed he was leaving it here tonight. He held out his hand and she took it. They walked to the door, and soon made their way out the entrance of the building. A limo was parked outside and the chauffeur was standing by the car door.

John still had Marlena’s hand and they walked over to the parked car.

 

“Mr. Brooks.” Marlena looked up at John.

 

John smiled down at her. “It’s John Black, now.” The chauffeur looked from John to Marlena and nodded, “Sure thing, Mr. Black.”

 

“You remember where to go Frank?” John asked as Frank opened the door, and John helped Marlena get in.

 

“Yep, Don’t worry.” He smiled.

 

“Thanks, pal.” And John slapped him on the back and smiled as he got into the limo.

 

“Christopher Brooks?” Marlena asked once the limo had started driving.

 

“Yeah. I’ve started sorting everything out at work concerning that. But, there’s still people who have no idea.” He looked over at her and smiled, taking her hand and kissing it.

 

They arrived at the restaurant going on 6:40pm. How he hated New York City traffic.

Frank got out and opened the limo door and helped Marlena out first, and John followed.

Stopping John spoke with Frank for a minute before coming back to Marlena’s side, and together they walked into the restaurant.

 

The hostess was there to greet John, by the looks of it Marlena thought. He must come here often. They were led to a table near the back, John pulled out Marlena’s chair for her and she sat down, as he took the seat across from her.

 

“This place is beautiful.” She said.

 

“I’m really glad you like it. You know I want tonight to be special, I know a lot of time has passed. But I love you just as much today as I did when we were younger if not more if that’s even possible.” He smiled at her, taking her hand from across the table.

 

The waiter came to the table interrupting the special moment.

 

John ended up getting an expensive wine, and ordering Veal Scaloppini, while Marlena ordered the Langoustine Risotto. As they ate they talked and laughed. It seemed it was just the two of them in the restaurant. So unaware of anyone around them, Marlena hadn’t laughed in so long and John hadn’t truly been alive until Marlena had come back into his life. They talked about everything from John’s work to Marlena’s, to how it was when they were teenagers. The crazy things they did together, all in the name of love. Marlena thought it felt good just to feel again, she noticed she was smiling all the time she couldn’t stop. She was truly happy, and from what John was telling her she knew he felt the same. Complete.

 

After they were done their meal, the waiter asked if they wanted dessert, Marlena shook her head. She didn’t think she could eat another mouthful. The food portions were huge and they had brought them food even before their meal had arrived. She just hoped she could walk when she stood up.

 

“No, no dessert for me either, Thank you.” The waiter nodded, and walked away.

 

A thought occurred to him them. Touching his jacket he knew it was still there. “Marlena, I wanted to give you something again.”

 

“John, you’ve done enough really. I mean taking me to Central park, the dress, this restaurant. You don’t need to do anything else really.” She smiled. He stood up and walked over to her. Reaching into his jacket and put his fingers on it.

“I gave you a gift a long time ago, to show you how much I loved you…” he pulled out the box, and her eyes welled up with tears. “I wanted to show you how much I loved you, again.” He opened the box to reveal the necklace he had gotten her for her 16th birthday, and gently took it out of the box and closed it, setting it on the table. He kneeled in front of her. “I can’t believe you kept this.” He said softly, as he ran his fingers over the diamond heart.

 

“Of course, I kept it.” She said through her tears. “I couldn’t bring myself to wear it. But, I kept it. It was one of the few things I had left. I brought it with me, because I wanted you to know I still had it.” She wiped her tears.

 

“You want me to help you put it on?” he asked softly.

 

“Would you, please?” and he leaned over, and put it around her neck, clasping it together he pulled back to look at it. Marlena’s hand went to touch it immediately.

 

John leaned over and kissed her on the lips, and pulled her into a hug. She put her lips to his ear and whispered softly. “Take me home, please?”

 

He looked in her eyes, and any questions he had were answered. As he looked for the waiter so he could pay the bill, Marlena was already standing ready to leave.

They were in the back of the limo on the way home and they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. Marlena had her dressed hiked up to her thighs and was straddling his hips as John was nibbling on her neck. She let out a moan when he got to a sensitive part by her ear and it drove him crazy. She raised her head and kissed him passionately, while attempting to get his tuxedo jacket off. Before they knew it the car stopped but neither made any attempts to stop what they were doing. It was only when the sound of Frank getting out of the car did they reluctantly pull apart. Their breathing was quick and their faces were flushed. Marlena slid off of John’s hips and pulled her dress down, and she noticed John wasn’t bothering to put his jacket back on. Good one less thing to take off she thought.

 

The limo door opened and John got out first, turning around he held his hand out for Marlena to exit the car. She stood up and made a beeline for the entrance of the building, with John quickly following. Frank just watched them and started laughing as he shook his head.

 

Once in the elevator, they tried their best to keep their hands off of each other. The elevator operator kept looking back and they tried their best to act innocent. The doors opened and the nearly ran for his apartment door. Once they were inside John shut the door a little too loudly then he meant to, but Marlena didn’t really seem to care as she pushed him back against the door and brought her lips to his roughly.

 

“Marlena.” He said, as he pulled his lips away.

 

“What?” She said, as she started undoing the buttons of his shirt.

 

“Remember how I said I wanted this to be special?” he didn’t have much control left and he didn’t want to rush this, not tonight.

 

“Uh huh” as she looked into his eyes as she finished unbuttoning his shirt.

 

“Well, I do. I don’t want to rush this.” She looked at him, hands stopping their movement on his chest.

 

“You want to stop?” she said looking up at him.

 

“No! No I don’t want to stop. But I want us to slow down. Can you do something for me?” he asked.

 

She nodded still not sure what he had in mind.

 

“Can you just wait here for like 2 minutes?” She nodded.

 

I’m going to lose my mind she screamed silently.

 

A few minutes later he reappeared from the bedroom walking over to her he kissed her on the lips.

 

“All done.” He said. As he put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. She put her arms around his neck, as he started kissing her softly on the lips, the kiss soon deepened, as their breathing became faster. He picked her up and carried her over to his bedroom. “Close your eyes.” He said softly.

 

Once she had them closed he walked her into the room. “Ok you can open them.” And she did. What she saw brought tears to her eyes. He had set candles out all over the room, basking the room in firelight. She put her hand over her mouth and looked at him.

 

“I love you, Marlena.”

 

“I love you too.” And he began to kiss her again; the kiss was filled with urgency on both ends, as they knew there was no more waiting. He walked over to the bed and gently laid her down. She sat up and pulled him down with her, he quickly took the clip out of her hair and let her hair fall down along her shoulders, he started gently kissing her shoulders, then slowly moved over and kissed along her collarbone. She brought her hands to his head and guided his mouth to hers. She started to take his shirt off and he got up and took it off for her, her hands immediately went to his chest, running her fingers along the fine hairs. He looked down at her, her face basking in the candlelight and his heart swelled. She was beautiful, and she loved him he thought to himself.

 

Slowly, he brought his lips back to hers, resting on his elbows so he wouldn’t put all of his weight on her, he started to lightly suck on her neck. She tilted her head and put a hand on his back and dug her nails in slightly. She rolled him over so that she was on top.

Pulling her dress up so the bottom rested against her thighs, he sat up so she was sitting on his lap. He reached his hands around her back and found the zipper for the dress and slowly started pulling it down. Never taking his eyes off hers he slid the straps off her shoulders and let it fall around her waist.

 

“You weren’t wearing a bra.” He sat there in shock.

 

“Nope.” She grinned and she leaned over and started kissing him again.

 

Once he recovered from the information, he wrapped his arms around her as they lay back down on the bed. She started to slowly kiss her way down his chest, paying special attention to each area. He knew she was enjoying the sweet torture she was inflicting on him. She reached his dress pants and started to undo the button, once she got them unzipped she leaned back, he lifted his hips and she started to pull them off. She threw them beside the bed, and returned to the task at hand. She saw that he was straining against his boxers and looked up at him with a gleam in her eye. He swallowed in anticipation, as she pulled his boxers down, she looked at him with appreciation. Licking her lips, she leaned over licked his hard shaft before taking him in her mouth. He moaned her name loudly, and she grinned. With one hand she held him at his shaft and began pumping him faster in and out of her mouth.

He was in heaven, and quickly loosing control. The feeling of her mouth pleasuring him was almost too much for him. He reached for her and brought her back to his mouth, he grabbed her dress that was bunched around her waist and lifted it over her head. He quickly rolled them over so he was once again on top, and his attention was draw to her perfect breasts. He started to gently suck a hardened nipple, as Marlena put her hands in his hair and arched her back. She started moaning his name repeatedly.

 

“Please, John.” She panted.

 

He tucked his fingers into her panties and pulled them down her legs. Her legs parted immediately, and he settled in between them. Putting each leg over his shoulder, he tucked his hands underneath her and pulled her a bit closer. He looked up at her, and saw her eyes were staring back at his, she was breathing heavily, and had a light sheen of sweat covering her forehead. Kissing the inside of her thigh, he moved to her center and lightly started kissing her there. She gasped and grabbed at the sheets, as he found her sensitive nub and began sucking on it. She moaned loudly, and arched her back as he continued to pleasure her. Taking two fingers he entered her, he was pumping them in and out of her as he continued to pleasure her with his mouth. He could feel her body starting to shake, and knew she wouldn’t last much longer.

 

“John, please I need you inside of me. I want to feel you.” He got up from between her legs and leaned over, resting his weight on his elbows. She wrapped both of her legs around his waist as she reached down and guided him to where she wanted him most. Slowly, he entered her and they both moaned. Both still for a moment they looked into each other eyes as John softly planted a kiss on Marlena’s lips. The rhythm started off slow and she lifted her hips to meet him. Soon they quickened the pace, but never stopped looking in the others eyes.

 

“Harder John please.” She moaned, as her eyes closed.

 

“Marlena, look at me please. Try to look at me.” He wanted to watch her, and he wanted her to watch him.

 

She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Harder.” And he pumped harder, pumping into her as far as he could go. She put both of her hands on his backside and tried to pull him closer. He could feel her body tighten around him. She arched her back and called out his name; he pumped as fast and as hard as he could. He couldn’t hold on anymore and he climaxed, falling into ecstasy with his love in his arms.

 

They lay there minutes after, he was still inside her and they were still looking into each other eyes. He noticed a tear fall from the corner of her eye and wiped it away.

 

“Don’t cry, Marlena.” He said softly and kissed where the tear had been.

 

“I missed you.” Was all she said.

 

“I missed you too.” He said as he laid down beside her.

 

He sat up and pulled the covers over them that he had drawn back earlier, she moved closer to him. They intertwined their legs and he put his arm around her head. She wrapped an arm around his stomach and rested her head on his chest. Lightly, kissing her forehead he whispered. “Goodnight, I love you” he smiled.

 

“Goodnight, my love.” She said softly, already beginning to fall asleep.

The next morning, Marlena woke up and reached for John only to find that he wasn’t there. Her head shot up and looked around not seeing him, listening closely she heard the shower running, and she got a wicked smile on her face. Climbing out of the bed not even bothering to put a robe on, she walked into the master bathroom.

 

She saw John through the glass door of the shower and her mouth began to water.

She walked over the shower and opened the door, the draft made John turn around quick and he smiled when he saw it was Marlena.

 

“Good morning, beautiful.” She smiled as she stepped in the shower with him.

 

“I was lonely in the bed and I thought maybe you could use some company.” He grinned at her. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly.

 

“You read my mind. I didn’t want to wake you though, you looked so peaceful sleeping.”

 

She smiled up at him and grabbed the soap; lathering it up she turned him around and started washing his back. She started massaging his shoulders and he let out a low groan.

She brought her arms down around his stomach and ran her hand through the patch of coarse hair bellow his belly button.

 

“Marlena? What are you doing?”

 

“Oh like you don’t know.” She said, and he laughed.

 

Turning around he kissed her roughly, she wrapped her arms around his neck, as they deepened the kiss even more, only pulling back when they couldn’t go without air any longer. She looked at him and winked. Stepping under the spray she began to wash her hair, John grabbed the soap and started washing her back for her.

 

Once her back was clean and her hair was rinsed. He stood behind her and started kissing her along her neck; she tilted her head to the side to give him better access, still behind her he reached around to play with a nipple, lightly pinching it while still kissing her neck. She moaned, and turned around in his arms so she was facing him. She wrapped her arms around him so that her breasts were now pressed up against his chest.

 

He back her up against the shower wall and she gasped when her warm back meant the cool surface, he started kissing her neck, then along her collarbone, making his way down to lavish his attention on her breasts. Taking a now hardened nipple into his mouth he began gently sucking on it making sure he spent the same amount of attention on the other one. Marlena’s hands were in his hair as she arched her back. She was letting out tiny moans of pleasure that were driving John nuts. He was still sucking on her nipples when he put a hand between her legs and felt the wetness there, finding her sensitive nub he began to pleasure her with his fingers, and Marlena thought her knees would buckle.

 

“John, I need you know.” She panted.

John stood up straight and Marlena wrapped her arms around his neck once more, he lifted her up against the shower wall, she locked her legs around his waist, as he supported her by holding onto her backside. He entered her slowly, going in as deep as he could. “Mmm so good” she said.

 

“You like that?” he said. She only nodded with a look of pure pleasure on her face. He continued to thrust in and out of her slowly, but still going as deep as possible. “John, please.” She said.

 

“Please what?” he said into her ear.

 

“Faster. I need faster.” He started pumping faster knowing that she was close to climaxing. He gave her a passionate kiss, then took her bottom lip into his mouth and gently started sucking on it. She arched her back and he kissed her throat, as he felt her walls tighten around him. “Harder, yeah like that. So good John.” She moaned.

 

With a few more thrusts she yelled his name, and soon there after he was sent over the edge as well. Her head was lying on his shoulder as he slowly set her down. Her legs felt like jelly and it took a minute for her to be able to stand on her own.

 

She looked at him and smiled. Giving him a passionate kiss she said “We should shower like this more often.”

 

And he laughed. “You’ll find no arguments here.” As he turned the water off, they started to plan how they were going to spend their Saturday together.

It was Monday. She would be leaving tomorrow, she pondered, as she sat out on the bedroom terrace that overlooked the city. John was inside making them dinner and so she came out here to think. John had said he wanted to come back to Salem when she did. But work hadn’t gone the way he had hoped so she would be leaving by herself. She understood, she had told him. She knew he wanted to come back. Over the week they had talked a lot about what they had both wanted. He had explained that he wanted to leave the city. To settle down somewhere and raise a family. Away from the chaos, and away from the noise. He loved Salem, and wanted to go back on a permanent basis, and he would just as soon as he could. She pulled the blanket tighter around her and sipped her cup of coffee. She shook her head.

 

“Why? Why am I doing this myself?” she spoke out loud. She tried to reassure herself that everything would be fine. That John would come home and they would live happily ever after. But it was in these times, when she was alone that doubts snuck into her mind.

These were the times, when the past haunts her. A ghost long dead continues to chase her. Reminding her of what she once lost, and the pain she would not survive if she ever had to endure it again.

 

She wanted to start a new life, the life John and her had dreamt of so many years ago. She had even called Mickey Horton a few days ago and started the proceedings concerning a divorce from Roman. Everything was working out the way it was supposed to she thought. Then why didn’t she feel happy?

 

She heard him calling her name; she quietly got up and went into the apartment. Pushing the doubts out of her mind she tried to enjoy a quiet dinner with the man loved.

 

————————-

 

John woke early the next morning; looking at the alarm he noticed it was only 7am. Marlena’s flight wasn’t until 2pm he thought to himself.

He rested his head on his elbow and looked down at her. So lost in her dreams, so peaceful he thought. She was facing him, and he tucked a few pieces of stray hair behind her ear, and she sighed bringing a smile to his face.

The week had gone by so fast he thought. But he knew the last week was the happiest he had been in a long time. He smiled as he looked down on her once again. He wanted to go back to Salem with her. He had seen the hurt in her eyes when he told her he couldn’t. As soon as he saw it he wanted to take it back. But he knew he couldn’t. He thought he wanted so much out of this life. But looking at her sleeping, he knew the only thing he wanted was to make her happy.

“I love you, Marlena. I only wish you knew how much.” He said softly. As he kissed her gently on the forehead he saw a small smile grace her face.

 

“I love you too,” she quietly mumbled in her sleep as she moved closer to him he smiled in return.

 

————————–

 

Marlena had finished packing, stalling as long as she could. Not wanting to leave but knew she had to. Like John she had a life she needed to attend to. To be 16 again she thought. When everything seemed so right. When life wasn’t so difficult, and the hardest decision you ever had to make was what you were going to wear on your date Friday night. She laughed softly to herself. Back then nothing could touch them she thought. It was just the two of them against the world. Her smile slowly faded. And then there was only one she thought. She shook her head and tried not to think about it. She picked up her suitcase and put it on the hall and went to look for John.

 

She found him in the living room talking quietly on the phone with a towel wrapped around his waist. His back was to her and she couldn’t make out the words. He turned around and saw her standing there.

 

“I’ll call you back.” And he hung up the phone.

 

He walked over to her and gave her a kiss. She gave him a small smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes.

 

“I wish I was coming with you.” He said softly.

 

“I know you do.” She said trying to reassure him. “Do you have any idea when you might be coming?”

 

“No, it might be a couple weeks…give or take a few days.”

 

She nodded the tears welling up in her eyes. “I’m sorry” she shook her head. “I am really trying to be strong here.” He put his hand on her cheek.

 

“Please don’t apologize. I understand.”

 

“Do you really?” she looked up at him. “I knew this was going to be hard. I keep telling myself that it will be ok. That you will come home and everything will be the way it was. But nothing will ever be the same John. I need to stop fooling myself into thinking that we can go back, that we are still the same people we were back then. We’re not. You’ve changed. I’ve changed.” She paused for a moment trying to find the right words. “This past week has been so beautiful for me. I have felt alive for the first time in a long time John. You make me feel that way. You’ve always made me feel that way. Maybe I’m being too selfish in asking you to give up your life here.” She turned away.

 

John stood there with his mouth open. Why was she thinking like this he thought? Then it occurred to him. “You’re scared.” He said.

 

“I’m not scared.”

 

“Yes you are Marlena. I might have missed a few years, but I know when you’re scared. And right now you are.”

 

She whirled around. “I’m not scared!” she yelled.

 

He looked at her with understanding eyes. “Why are you doing this Marlena?” he asked softly.

 

“Doing what?” he walked over to her.

 

“You’re pushing me away. Why?”

 

“Why what?”

 

He rolled his eyes. “Can you please not do that?”

 

“Do what?” she smirked.

 

“See? You’ve always done that! You’re doing that Dr. mess with my head thing. Can you please just stop and have a conversation with me?”

 

She looked at him but never said a word.

 

“I love you! I’ve always loved you, and I’ll never stop loving you. I don’t know everything you’ve been through when I was gone. But I’m here now. I’m not leaving!” She looked at him with tears in her eyes. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to have him hold her for the rest of her life. But there was so much pain. Pain she had never dealt with. She had pushed it into a corner all those years ago and pretended it wasn’t there. But it always lurked beneath the surface waiting for its chance to show itself. All those years ago she thought he had drowned but yet here he was standing before her alive and she was the one drowning.

She loved him she knew that. But it was her fear of hurting him that stopped her from thinking. She did the only thing she knew how to do, when she was gripped with pain she grabbed her purse and ran.

 

John stood there for a moment not really sure what the hell had just happened. He took off after her the thought never crossing his mind that he was only in a towel. He got to the elevator just as the doors were closing. “Shit!”

He started pushing the button for the second elevator, and he felt as if his heart would explode. The elevator dinged and he got on before the doors had opened all the way. The operator looked at him but never said a word. “Hurry up please! Nevermind I’ll do it myself. Shit how do you work this!” the operator took over and they made their way down to the entrance. The doors opened and John ran out. People stared but he didn’t really care. Running outside he looked up and down the street, then he started screaming her name. He never saw her, turning back into the building he felt his heart break into two.

 

She had seen him from the cab, running outside in only his towel. How she wanted to stop and run back. She couldn’t. Frozen like stone she sat there and watched as his figure got smaller and smaller. What have I done she thought to herself.

John ran back inside and up to his apartment throwing on some clothes he looked his watch and saw that it was 12:30pm. “Shit” he swore again.

He didn’t even bother to call a driver. He took his keys and wallet and ran out.

 

He got down to his car, knowing he swore he wouldn’t drive in this city he knew he had to get to her. Getting in he started heading in the direction of the airport.

 

He arrived about 45 minutes later, still cursing as he got out of the car. He ran inside the terminal and towards her gate. He was looking for her everywhere. Every tall blonde he saw his heart stopped.

 

He reached security then it dawned on him he didn’t have a ticket. “Shit” he swore once again and he ran a shaking hand through his hair.

He approached a ticketing counter out of breath and ready to pass out.

 

“I need a flight to Salem, Illinois. Is there any seats left on flight 66?” Knowing that was the flight she was on from the information she had given him earlier in the week.

 

The woman checked on the computer as John tried to stay as calm as possible.

 

“I’m sorry sir. But that flight is booked solid.” She looked up at him.

 

“No first class? No coach? No cancellations? Booked solid?” His brain was trying to process the information and wasn’t having any luck. “It’s Salem for crying out loud and it’s booked solid?”

 

“I’m sorry sir.” She said simply. If only she knew how important this was he thought bitterly.

 

“Great just great!” he said his voice rising. He looked at his watch and he noticed it was 1:30pm. He started to panic. I can’t let her go his mind screamed.

 

“Flight 66 to Salem, Illinois is now boarding Passengers in First Class and Rows 1 – 10” the announcer said over the loud speaker.

 

John ran his hands threw his hair once again at a loss. Not knowing what to do. Then he remembered her cell phone. He quickly dialed her number and waited.

 

Marlena was just about to board the plane when her phone started to ring. Knowing who it was she looked anyway. She wanted to answer it. She felt it was her lifeline. She was holding on by a tether knowing soon she would fall. Not thinking she answered it. She didn’t speak she only listened.

 

“Marlena? Marlena? Please don’t hang up and please don’t leave like this. I love you please know that. I would do anything for you.” His voice was getting more frantic by the second.

The tears welled up in her eyes.

 

“Marlena I know you’re there. I just…” he paused. “I just want you to know that I love you, I loved you the first time I saw you. When you smiled at me when I came into the classroom. I loved you. I love you now even though you felt you had to leave. I love you. Please, Marlena.” He was begging her. For what he didn’t know but he had to make her listen.

 

“John….I” There were so many things she wanted to say but the words wouldn’t come. “I love you, and it’s because I love you that I’m doing this. Can’t you see that? I’ll only make you unhappy.”

 

“Unhappy? You make me happier than I could ever imagine.”

 

“John I’ll only hurt you…I…I’ve got to go.” She said softly.

 

“No Marlena please!” but she had already hung up. “Damn it!” he sat down on the nearest chair as the tears started falling down his cheeks.

 

Marlena was tired. Her flight got back into Salem and all she wanted to do was go home and crawl under the covers and never get up. She was numb. With her mask back in place she tried not to act like her heart was shattered into a million pieces.

 

She arrived home, only to find 4 messages from John. She played them but she never really heard them. Kicking her shoes off it was then that she realized she had left her luggage back at John’s apartment. Not truly caring she headed upstairs, like so many times before she began to tuck the pain away, pretending it wasn’t even there to begin with.

 

She woke up a few hours later to the doorbell ringing. She tucked her head underneath the pillow and hoped they would go away but they only became more persistent. Getting up slowly she went down stairs and answered the door. Hope stood there giving her a look that said ‘what the hell have you just done’

 

“Hope I don’t want to hear it.” And she turned around and walked towards the kitchen.

 

“Marlena, John called me. He’s devastated. What happened?”

 

“Everything happened. The week went great. Then it changed somehow. No that’s a lie it didn’t change I ruined it. I don’t know what came over me. I was just so afraid.”

 

“Afraid of what?” Hope asked softly.

 

“Of loosing him.” she laughed quietly. “That sounds so stupid doesn’t it.” She looked at Hope. “I’m afraid of loosing him yet I pushed him away like that.”

 

“You don’t want to get hurt Marlena.”

 

“No, no I don’t”

 

“So it’s only natural that you would want to push him away as far as you could before that could happen.” She walked over to Marlena and pulled her into a hug. “Aw sweetie I wish I could help you. I should have helped you more when we were younger. You were so alone.”

 

“Hope I don’t want to think about it.” Marlena said pulling out of the hug.

 

“Marlena you have to think about it, you have to go back to it. You really do. In order for you to heal you need to go back there. If you don’t you will be stuck in this place of pain for the rest of your life. Shutting everyone out that gets too close to you because you don’t want to get hurt.”

 

“You should have been a shrink.” Marlena said.

 

Hope smiled softly. “No, I just think I should have said this to you a long time ago. And I’m sorry I didn’t.”

 

Marlena didn’t say anything she just stood there lost in her own thoughts.

 

“John said he left messages.” Hope said pulling Marlena out of her thoughts.

 

“Yeah he left a couple. I didn’t even hear what he said really.” She turned away.

 

“Marlena, you need to call him.”

“Don’t tell me what I need to do!!” she yelled making Hope flinch. “I’m sorry” she wiped her forehead. “I didn’t mean to snap. I just want to be alone ok?”

 

“I don’t think I should leave you like this.”

 

“I’ll be fine. I’m just tired.”

 

Hope wanted to stay but she knew she couldn’t make Marlena listen if she didn’t want to. “Ok but if you need me call me ok? Whatever time it is you call me ok?” she placed her hand on top of Marlena’s.

 

Marlena only nodded, and with that Hope left. She yawned and looked at the clock on the wall noticing it was only 7pm. She went back upstairs, and walked over to the closet and pulled something out that she hadn’t touched in years.

She couldn’t help but smile when she saw the ridiculous logo on it. His shirt. The shirt she hated but secretly loved. For years it was one of the only things she had left of him. Her fingers went to her neck and she touched the necklace he had given her again. Tears welled up in her eyes and for the first time in almost 12 years she let out the pain that had been slowly killing her. Walking over to the bed she laid down and prayed that she could make this right. Eventually, she cried herself to sleep.

 

She woke the next morning, to the sun shining through the window. Stretching she got out of bed and went downstairs to make a pot of coffee before going to take a shower. Walking through the living room she paused and went to the answering machine and listened to his messages. They brought tears to her eyes. Such love, such sadness laced his voice. The last message caught her by surprise. He said he would be coming to Salem on flight 60 at 10:15am.. Looking at the clock she saw it was 10:37am. She panicked. She ran upstairs to take a shower not even bothering to listen to the rest of the messages.

 

The last message was from Hope. Telling her they needed to talk. And she would be over as soon as she could.

 

Marlena came downstairs dressed in jeans and a long sleeved shirt. She went and got herself a cup of coffee and went and turned the TV on. What she saw shook her to her core. She heard the reporter say it but she didn’t believe it.

 

“…flight 60 crashed shortly after take off this morning.” Marlena stared at the television as if it were lying. She saw the reporter look quickly at their paper and back to the camera. “Crews have been searching the crash site and have reported there are no survivors. Once again flight 60 crashed this morning shortly after take off.”

 

She felt like she was going to be sick. Her legs were stone, holding her in place. She shook her head slowly back and forth not fully understanding what was happening. She didn’t even hear the doorbell ring until she heard pounding. She didn’t even know how she made it to the door. Opening it, Hope stood there and Marlena started sobbing. “He’s dead?”

 

Hope could only nod. John had told her he was planning on coming to Salem the following morning. He had said he loved Marlena and wanted to be with her, why this? She thought. It’s not right she her mind screamed.

 

She took Marlena’s hand and shut the door behind her. “Come on sweetie.” And she led her to her car. She didn’t want Marlena to be alone right now.

 

Marlena didn’t even really care where she was being led. Thoughts passed through her mind of John some old and some new. She loved him. She’s always loved him. And it was happening again. Only this time she knew she wasn’t going to be able to survive it.

“Where are we going?” Marlena asked in a small voice.

 

“I’m taking you to my house. I don’t think you should be alone right now.” Hope said.

 

“Hope you should go home and take care of your family.”

 

“Marlena, I don’t mind now please come with me.” Hope looked at Marlena with pleading eyes.

 

“There’s someplace I have to go, and I need to do this by myself.”

 

“Marlena, what are you talking about?”

 

Hope noticed that Marlena had no feeling. She’s either in shock or she’s numbed herself she thought.

 

Marlena ran back into the house coming back shortly with a bag and her keys. “I’ll call you ok?” She got into her car and took off, leaving Hope standing there wondering what the hell had just happened.

 

It wasn’t until she started driving that she let the tears fall. “Why??” she screamed out loud. If only I hadn’t left like that she thought then he wouldn’t have tried to follow. She recalled the last conversation she had with him. The word he spoke to her, his voice so small and filled with pain. Pain that she had caused him. She never wanted to hurt him. She thought what she was doing would protect him but in the end she hurt him anyway. “I’m so sorry.” She whispered to him, and the tears continued to fall.

 

She arrived around 40 minutes later. To a place she had refused to visit in over 11 years. It was quiet and peaceful, everything she was not feeling. It still looked the way she had remembered it. She walked up to the cabin, their cabin she thought. She knew she would be closest to him here. She went inside, and she went back in time.

 

She eyed the fireplace, she looked around and almost nothing had been changed. She half expected him to walk through the door but she knew he wouldn’t. She had been given a miracle when he came back into her life, and she had abused it. She had taken it for granted and she hated herself for it. All he wanted was to love me she thought to herself, and I pushed him away because of it she berated herself. She sank to her knees and started sobbing. Unable to control herself she let herself cry, not knowing if she was ever going to be able to stop.

 

—————————

 

Hope’s phone rang and she ran picking it up thinking it was Marlena, she hadn’t heard from her since she left. That was 2 hours ago and she was worried.

 

“Marlena?” she spoke into the receiver.

 

“Hope, No it’s John.”

 

“Excuse me? John?” Hope couldn’t believe her ears. “You’re supposed to be dead. You were on the plane.”

 

“No I missed my plane. My damn alarm clock didn’t go off and I missed it. I heard about what happened. I tried to call Marlena and there’s no answer. I figured she would have heard by now and I thought she would be with you.” John had tried calling Marlena every 5 minutes hoping she was there, praying she hadn’t heard but knowing she most likely had.

 

“Thank god you’re alright John. We thought the worst. Marlena isn’t here though.”

 

“What? Where is she?” John asked frantically.

 

“I tried to get her to come with me. But, she wouldn’t. She said there was somewhere she had to go. She hasn’t called yet and I’m really getting worried John. She wasn’t herself. She was bad last night but when she heard the news this morning she just shut down.”

 

“Hope I’m coming.”

 

“Where are you?”

 

“I’m driving, when I realized I had missed my flight I didn’t even bother going to the airport I got in my car and started driving. I didn’t even hear about the plane until about 45 mins ago.”

 

“You didn’t hear about it?” Hope asked in disbelief.

 

“No, I was listening to CD’s I didn’t have the radio on. I’ll be there in about 2 hrs ok? I’ll come there first. We have to find out where she went Hope we have to.”

 

———————

 

Marlena had picked herself up off the floor and started walking aimlessly around the cabin. She was crawling in her skin; she went outside into the fresh air and noticed the sky was darkening. Knowing they must be in for a storm she walked back inside and started a fire. She went and made a cup of tea and wrapped herself in a blanket on the couch. Memories started flooding her mind, as she stared into the fire.

 

“So are you gonna come to my game Friday night?” John asked leaning up against the lockers.

 

“I don’t know I don’t know much about baseball.” Marlena replied with a sheepish grin.

 

“Don’t know much about baseball??” John asked dramatically

 

“Well, I know there’s guys in tight pants. Yeah I could definitely sit and watch you play baseball” Marlena winked at him and John laughed.

 

“I knew it, all this time you’ve only liked me for my body. I feel so cheap Marlena.” And she had laughed in return.

 

They were on a beach; when they were 17. John had thrown Marlena over his shoulder, and she was laughing and screaming at the same time.

 

“John please put me down.” Marlena laughed.

 

“No not until you say you’re sorry.”

 

“I said I was sorry, John”

 

“But Marlena they was no FEELING behind it. You have to REALLY mean it.” He teased her.

 

“Ok, I’m REALLY FEELING sorry REALLY.”

 

“Ok that’s it. You asked for it.” And he walked down into the water.

 

“You wouldn’t.” Marlena said looking up.

 

“Wouldn’t I?” John asked.

 

“John have I told you how much I love you today?”

 

“Uh huh, and I love you too” Slapping her ass he threw her into the water.

 

His laughter echoed in her mind as she was brought back from the past by a crack of thunder. How am I suppose to live without you again John?

 

John had been at Hope’s for about an hour the weather was getting worse and there was still no word from Marlena. He had tried her cell phone and it was turned off. “Where the hell could she have gone? And in this weather?” John asked getting up.

 

Bo walked out from the kitchen and sat down next to Hope. “Well, the only thing I can figure is she went somewhere, that must have meant a lot to you two.”

 

“She was pretty out of it John. But she was in a hurry like she knew where she was going.” Hope said.

 

They had been trying to think of places where she could have gone ever since he got here. There weren’t many places left to think of. Think John, and then a memory came to him. She had shown him this place and they had come back every summer after that. It was the place where they had first made love.

 

“You’ve never been here?” Marlena asked.

 

“Nope. You have?”

 

“Yeah. Mostly just during the summer. Sometimes by myself sometimes with friends. It’s so beautiful here. It’s so quiet, so peaceful. Takes you away you know?”

 

“Yeah I know” he smiled at her.

 

“Come on let’s unpack” and she led him into the cabin.

 

“Shit! I got it!”

 

“What?” Hope asked standing up.

 

“The cabin! Shit I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.” He went and grabbed his keys.

 

“John the weather. You can’t take a boat out in this.” Bo said.

 

“I don’t care! She thinks I’m dead. I can’t let her believe that again.”

 

Hope gave him a hug. “Please be careful. And would you please call?”

 

John gave her a nod and then he was out the door.

 

John had paid a man a ridiculous amount of money to borrow his boat. That was the easy part. Now he had to actually make it to the island. The winds were picking up and the waves were becoming choppier. For a minute he thought back to the accident, he shook his head. “I have to get to her.”

 

He ran up to the cabin and opened the door that she hadn’t locked. There she was sitting wrapped in a blanket staring into the fire. “Marlena?” he walked over to her. She was just staring. “Marlena honey?” he touched her shoulder. She wasn’t responding and he was beginning to panic. “Marlena!” he yelled.

 

“You’re not real” was her only response.

 

His head snapped up to look at her. “I’m real I’m right here.”

 

“You’re dead. You died again. And I’m just imagining that you’re here with me.”

 

“Marlena, no! I didn’t die.” John was trying to bring her out of whatever place she was in.

 

“I saw the news, I saw the plane. You’re a dream.”

 

“I missed my flight. Please, Marlena.” He touched her shoulder and her eyes closed. She opened them once again and stared back into the fire.

 

He got off the couch and kneeled in front of her. “Marlena, look at me.”

 

She wouldn’t meet his eyes. What’s happening to her he thought? Maybe she’s in shock he wondered. What can I do to make her see it’s really me?

An idea came to him. He had read her something a long time ago, a poem. She had always loved it. He only hoped it would bring her back to him. He took her hands in his and kissed her knuckles. Noticing she wasn’t responding he recited what he knew by heart.

 

“True love is a sacred flame

That burns eternally,

And none can dim its special glow

Or change its destiny.

True love speaks in tender tones

And hears with gentle ear,

True love gives with open heart

And true love conquers fear.

True love makes no harsh demands

It neither rules nor binds,

And true love holds with gentle hands

The hearts that it entwines.”

 

He saw her eyes fill up with tears, and he waited. Her eyes were torn away from the fire and she looked down at him. “John?”

 

“Yes it’s me.” She flew into his arms and started crying. “I thought you were my dream.”

 

“No sweetheart, I’m really here.”

 

“I’m so sorry. I love you. I’m sorry for what I did what I said.” She said as she clung to him.

 

“Shh I love you too, and it’s ok I understand.” He said trying to reassure her.

 

She pulled back and kissed him. A kiss that was filled with passion and with love. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you again.” She said in between sobs.

 

“You’re never going to have to find out ok?” he kissed her softly, and she nodded, choosing to believe in his words. It was then she noticed that he was soaking wet. “You must be freezing.”

 

“I brought clothes…but they’re in my car back on the mainland. I brought your suitcases back too.” He gave her a grin.

 

“Oh right. I kind of forgot those didn’t I?”

 

“Yeah.” He smiled at her. “I have to call Hope and tell her that everything is fine. She was really worried.”

 

“I left my cell phone in my car by accident. I wasn’t thinking and then when I got out here well, you know.” She smiled weakly.

 

“It’s ok she’ll understand.” He made the call. Hope was relieved to know that everything was ok, and John promised to talk more with them tomorrow. Hanging up he walked back over to Marlena.

 

“There has to be something you can change into here.” An idea struck her then. “Hold on, she went and looked and found a pair of sweat pants in a drawer and grabbed something of his.” She went back over to him and sat next to him. “Here. I think this belongs to you.” And she handed it to him.

 

“My shirt!” he said and his eyes lit up. He looked at her “you kept this? You hated this shirt, Marlena.”

 

“Well, it grew on me over the years. It was one of the only things left I had and I kept it.” She smiled gently. “I’ve grown to love it.”

 

He took his wet shirt off and slipped his own shirt on, it was smaller because he had grown but it wasn’t small enough to make him uncomfortable. He then changed out of his wet jeans and boxers and pulled on the pair of sweat pants.

Marlena was overcome with love for this man, and she told him so.

 

“I love you, John. I hope you can forgive me for the actions I’ve done that have hurt you. I didn’t want to cause you pain but I did anyway.” She looked to the floor.

 

“Hey, hey it’s ok Marlena. There’s nothing to be forgiven. I know why you did what you did. It hurt but I understand, and I love you more because of it.” He offered her a smile

 

She pulled him into a kiss; it started slow but quickly grew more passionate. They pulled apart breathless and they stared into each other eyes. Neither one spoke, everything they needed to say they said with their eyes. She gave him a small nod and he picked her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he led them into the bedroom.

John set Marlena down beside the bed, and neither one moved. They stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed like forever. John gently wiped a stray tear that had fallen from Marlena’s eye, and had slowly traveled down her cheek.

 

There were no words spoken as they slowly began to undress the other. Taking their time wanting to make this last as long as possible. Once all of their clothing had been removed, they kissed each other passionately. Tongues dancing upon the other, each one trying to taste as much as they could. She gasped slightly when he took her tongue into his mouth and sucked on it slightly, letting it go he started nibbling on her bottom lip. Marlena pulled John towards the bed only stopping when she felt the side hit her legs. She moved to the middle of the bed and waited for him. Eyes locked even in the blackness of the room, eyes that pierced her soul.

 

The rain fell steadily outside, and thunder could be heard overhead. A flash of lightening illuminated the room, and they got their first glimpse of the other. Marlena slowly licked her lips when she felt the mattress dip and his hands start to touch her overheated body. She searched for his hands in the darkness and like so many times before his were there to meet hers, to reassure her, to keep her safe. A smile touched her lips, as he leaned over her and started loving her with his mouth. He was so gentle in times like these, like she was fragile, that any moment she would shatter.

 

He ran his tongue over a rigid nipple and she moaned urging him on. Reaching down with one hand she began to stroke him slowly, making him jerk his hips slightly. He brought his head up and found her lips once more. Still stroking him, she whispered his name in the darkness; she needed him, like she needed air in her lungs. She spread her legs wider and he positioned himself between them. Lightening flashed once again outside just as he was entering her. Their eyes locked, both dark and filled with passion, and both filled with a love that would never die

 

She dug her heels into him trying to get him as close to her as possible. He braced himself on one hand while the other was gently touching her face. She wrapped both hands around his back, as they both begin to move. Their hips begin to move slowly, both their bodies slick with sweat. He started chanting her name softly, like it was his own private mantra. They were both breathing fast, and for a moment Marlena didn’t know if she would survive. She dug her nails into his back, as he started thrusting faster. She reached up toward his hand and he took it, interlocking their fingers. With the a few more thrusts she let go, taking him with her into that sacred place of pleasure. Her burning face began to cool as the blood continued to rush through her ears. Hearing only the deafening sound of her own heartbeat and the feeling of John’s loving touch as his faithful hand gripped hers.

 

“I love you.” He said softly in the darkness.

 

“And I love you.” She replied.

 

He pulled the blanket up that had been draped over the bottom of the bed and placed it over them. Kissing her gently on the lips he laid down beside her. She laid her head upon his chest as he wrapped his arm around her. They soon fell asleep, everything quiet except the sounds of them softly breathing and the rain gently falling outside their window.

They arrived back at the cabin shortly after 2pm. Marlena knew she was sun burnt but at the moment she didn’t really care. They walked back inside, and John set down his shirt.

 

“Marlena? When did you plan on going back to the mainland?” John asked her as he walked into the kitchen area.

 

“I’m not really sure. I should go to the hospital. I bet they are wondering where I am.” Knowing that she was due back to work today. “Why do you ask?”

 

John walked back in with a glass of water. “Because last night I borrowed a boat from a man and I have to return it.”

 

“You borrowed a boat?”

 

“Yeah the ferries wouldn’t travel last night because of the storm obviously, so I paid a guy to lend me his boat.” She looked at him.

 

“You know it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to take a boat out in that kind of weather John.”

 

“Bo said something a long those lines too. But I had to get here Marlena. I couldn’t let you believe something that wasn’t true.”

 

“John?” he looked over at her. She was overcome with a sensation of blissfulness. That everything would be all right. That this man who stood before her, the same man she fell in love with when she was a teenager was willing to give his life for her. “I love you. And I want you to know that I would do the same for you.”

 

He shook his head and walked over to her embracing in her a hug. “I know you would, Marlena. You don’t need to tell me that.”

 

“Yes, I do.” Was all she said.

 

He kissed her softly. “I love you too.” Looking her in the eyes they both smiled.

 

“So, you were saying you have to return a boat?”

 

“Yep. I figured I should give it back before he starts wondering if I took off with it.”

 

“Well, I’ll get my things and we’ll head back. I’ll take my car, I need to stop at the hospital on the way home.”

 

“Are you going to be ok going back?” he asked concerned.

 

“Yeah I got out here ok.” She smiled. “I’ll be ok don’t worry.”

 

“I love you, I can’t help but worry. Do you want me to meet you at the hospital?”

 

“You can if you like or you can go home. I just have to stop and explain why I wasn’t in today and pick up a few files concerning a couple of patients of mine.”

 

“You know I’m really proud of you…doc.” Her head jerked up and a smile lit her face.

 

“You haven’t called me that since I was 16 and told you I wanted to be a Physiatrist.”

 

“And you hated it.” He laughed.

 

“Yep. Drove me nuts, but I guess after a while I stopped minding it.” She smiled. “But if you say that horrible ‘what’s up, Doc?’ ever again someone is going to get hurt.” He laughed.

 

“Are you going to punish me?” he asked. His voice laced with mischief. She laughed and swatted him in the arm.

 

He held his hands up in mock surrender and smiled “You got it.”

 

“Ok then. Now that, that’s settled I’m going to get my things together.” She gave him a sweet smile and walked back towards the bedroom.

 

He watched the sway of her hips as she left the room. Smiling, he shook his head.

 

They finally got back to the mainland, and John had returned the boat back to its owner. She breathed in the summer air. She was surprised the boat ride hadn’t bothered her. Though she was sure she had drove John crazy with her being glued to his side the entire time. If she did he never let on it bothered him. But she was sure he wouldn’t say anything even if it did.

 

“You ready?” he asked breaking her out of her thoughts. She nodded

 

“Ok I’ll take my car. I have a stop to make then I’ll head back to the house.”

 

She looked at her watch. “Ok I shouldn’t be too long. An hour maybe less.”

 

“Sounds good.” He leaned over and gave her a kiss that left her breathless. “I’ll see you soon.” She smiled as he winked at her and began walking towards his car, turning around she heading towards her car that was parked a few spaces away. Getting in she watched him drive away as she turned the opposite direction and headed towards the hospital.

 

John returned to the house about 30 minutes later, walking through the door he headed upstairs with his suitcases and went towards the bedroom. When he walked in he was shocked at what he saw. The place had been ransacked. Everything lay scattered around the room. Pictures frames were broken, and the glass was in pieces on the floor. Looking around the room like he was trapped in a dream he stood there in shock.

 

Marlena was just leaving the hospital. She was walking through the parking garage towards her car when she stopped to look through her purse trying to find her keys. Suddenly she felt a hand go around her mouth, and wrap the other arm around her waist tightly, She tried to scream but it came out muffled. She struggled to break herself free but the person held her too tightly.

She had dropped the files and her purse on the ground and she heard her cell phone ringing. It was last thing she heard before everything went black.

 

John was frantic; she’s not picking up he thought. Feeling something wasn’t right. He grabbed his keys and ran to his car. He got in and floored it all the way to the hospital.

He had asked everyone he saw if they had seen Marlena. There had been a few that had told him they thought she had already left. He tried to reassure himself that it was probably nothing. But he knew deep inside that something wasn’t right. He asked where her parking space for the hospital was and took off towards the parking garage.

He took out his cell phone and tried calling her once again. His head jerked up when he heard a phone ringing. Following the sound he almost threw up at the sight of her purse lying on the ground surrounded by a bunch of scattered files. NO! His mind screamed. He spotted her car still parked where it should have been. He felt sick, and dizzy. He dialed a number and listened as Bo answered.

 

“Bo? Marlena’s gone.” He said frantically.

 

“What? John?” Bo asked trying to make sense of what John was telling him.

 

“Someone took her!” John yelled.

 

“Where are you?” Bo asked in cop mode.

 

“At the hospital. They said she left, her purse was on the ground and her car is still here. I know someone took her.”

 

“Ok hold on I’ll be right there.” John hung up the phone and put his hands in his face. Why is this happening? He thought to himself. “Please bring her back to me.” He pleaded in the summer air.

Roman was quickly gaining on her. She didn’t look back in fear that it would slow her down. She veered to the right, trying to loose him. But she couldn’t. He tackled her to the ground and she started fighting back. Kicking and hitting as hard as she could. He stood over her, and grabbed her wrists and started pulling trying to stand her up. Once she was standing she haled off and kicked him as hard as she could between the legs. Dropping to the ground he grabbed himself in agony. Pissed off to the point of no return she kicked him as hard as she could anywhere and everywhere. She kicked in him in the ribs and heard a cracking noise as he let out a painful scream. She reached into his back pocket and took out his wallet. Kicking him once more in what she would bet were broken ribs she took off once again.

 

John was sitting in a chair at the Salem Inn looking at his watch for about the 100th time in the last hour he saw that it was 10pm. He couldn’t stay at the house because of the investigation into Marlena’s whereabouts. A feeling of panic came over him. “Doc?” he said getting up and walking over to the window. “I know you’re alive. Please God let me find her.” He couldn’t just sit there anymore and wait for other people to find the woman he loved. So he did the only thing he knew to do. He headed back to the police station.

 

The sun was coming up over the horizon. Marlena had kept walking most of the night. Only resting for short periods of time. She felt tired, sick, and angry. She sat down on a nearby tree stump. “John” she said looking up towards the sky. “I won’t believe that you’re gone. Please find me.” She whispered.

She opened Roman’s wallet. There were credit cards, his driver’s license and some cash. Counting the cash there was over $150 in there. She took the cash and credit cards and threw the wallet on the ground. She looked around and for the first time she felt the early morning chill. She was wearing a thin summer jacket with the tank top underneath, and she still wore the same khaki shorts she had on when John and she were on the island. She had stayed in the woods. She had spotted a main road and had been tempted to take it. But she didn’t want the wrong person finding her. Knowing she needed to get warm, and by the sounds of her stomach she realized she hadn’t eaten until yesterday when she grabbed a less than satisfying sandwich from the hospital cafeteria before going to her office. She was starving, and sore. Her wrists were still tied with twine; they were sore from struggling against them for hours. She needed to get them off but how she thought. She started looking around for anything that might be sharp enough.

 

John was still at the police station. Not being able to sleep the night before, he waited there. Hoping for any sign as to where they both could be. He appreciated everything the Salem PD was trying to do. But as he stood there watching them, he knew for a fact that they would not find her the rate they were going. Maybe because he was impatient, he wanted results and he wanted them now.

 

He walked over to Bo who had just gotten off the phone. “Did they find anything on his cell phone records?”

 

“Nope. Nothing.” John ran his hands through his hair, and clenched his fists. He was growing frustrated. Walking out of Bo’s office he went outside to get some air. It was only 10am. But John could feel the summer air already clinging to his body. He sat down on a nearby bench, and put his head in his hands. ‘Doc?’ his mind said. ‘Please can you hear me? I wish I could have done something. I should have been there to do something. This is all my fault.’

 

Marlena had just broken her wrists free from the knotted twine that bounded them together when she felt something poking her in her pocket and she remembered the ring Roman had said John had gotten her. Standing up she pulled it out. It looks familiar she thought. Holding it up she studied it and finally she realized where she had seen it. Her mind flashed back to when John was in the hospital. Catherine had worn this ring and she had given it back to him. John must have left it in the room before he went back to New York she thought “You son of a bitch” she cursed Roman, and she put the ring back into her pocket and then she heard it. Listening closely she only heard the sounds of birds singing as they flew from tree to tree ‘Doc?’ she heard it again.

 

“John??” she said out loud.

 

‘Please can you hear me?’ She turned around and tried to see him. “John are you there?”

 

‘… I should have been there to do something. This is all my fault.’

 

“No! No it’s not your fault. I love you, please know that, and please don’t blame yourself.”

 

As John sat there, he was overwhelmed with a sense of warmth. Warmth not made by the summer sun, but warmth bred out of pure love.

 

“John! Come on” Bo said running out the police station.

 

“What? You found her?”

 

“I think so. Come on.” Bo hopped into the car, as John got in the passenger side.

 

“What have you got?” He said anxiously.

 

“Take a look at this” Bo handed him some papers and John started to look through them.

 

“Credit card records. He bought a cabin in KENTUCKY??” John shouted.

 

“He never mentioned anything to me about it. I’ll radio the state police when we get there. The drive will take a bit. But, I didn’t want to sit on this and I knew you wouldn’t wait here either.”

 

“You got that right.”

 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with Roman, regardless of what’s he’s done John he’s still my brother. And I want to figure out what happened. Why would he kidnap Marlena? He just seems to have lost it. I don’t get it.”

 

“I just hope we’re not too late.”

 

Marlena was wandering. She didn’t know where she was, or where she was headed. She knew well enough to stay away from the direction of the cabin. Or at least she hoped she was.

 

Her wrists were red and abraded from being tied up for so long, every muscle in her body hurt. She felt grungy, tired, and hungry. Her clothes were a bit scuffed up from her struggle with Roman last night, there was a bit of dirt of her face and her hair was a mess. She looked down at herself and saw that her legs had a few cut on them. Most likely from their struggle last night she thought. At this point she didn’t care. She just wanted to get back to John.

 

She once again came to a disserted road. Not wanting to walk a long it, but wanting to be found. She decided to walk beside it and see where it led. There has to be a way out of these damn woods she thought. She was beginning to feel sick to her stomach. Thinking it was the heat or lack of food in her system she brushed it off. She concentrated on finding out where she was exactly.

 

She walked for about another mile when she saw a sign coming into view at the side of the road. Once it was close enough she saw that it said “Cadiz 2 miles”

 

“That really helped I still don’t know where the hell I am” she said to herself and once again started walking along the side of the road.

 

The sun was beating down on Marlena’s back. She had shed the summer jacket she was wearing, and continued walking. Thirsty and tired, she got off the road and sat down in the shade provided by the trees. She has grown weaker and dizzier.

 

“My mouth is so dry. I need water.” She said out loud but to no one in particular. She walked back into the woods, trying to stay out of the sun. A car passed and she looked back. She got butterflies in her stomach. “John?” she tried to make it back to the road but her body protested. Unable to move quickly from lack of rest and nourishment. The thirst she had was unbelievable. The hot sun wasn’t helping her any. She needed water and she needed it soon. She knew well enough to know that being out in heat like this without anything to drink could be a potentially dangerous situation.

 

John and Bo were almost there. They were driving down a side road, surrounded by trees and wildlife. John was just about to jump out of his skin. He knew something was wrong but he didn’t know what. “We have to get there soon Bo.”

 

“We’re almost there.” Bo said just as anxiously as John did.

 

Bo called for backup before they turned onto the dirt road that would take them to Roman’s cabin. The dispatcher said they were on their way.

John saw a car that wasn’t Roman’s, and jumped out before Bo’s car had come to a stop.

 

“John!” Bo yelled but only loud enough to get his attention. “Backup is on its way. We have to wait.”

 

“Wait? Are you crazy? Doc could be in there!”

 

“And we don’t know the situation!”

 

“I do. He kidnapped her that’s good enough cause for me to go in there and break his sorry neck.”

 

“John listen to reason. The backup will be here. Just wait. I don’t want you running in there and something happen as soon as you open the door.”

 

John looked up towards the sky ‘Hold on Doc I’m coming’

“I can’t wait Bo. You know I can’t sit here and wait when she can very well be there with him.”

 

Bo nodded and looked around as John eyed the gun at Bo’s waist. Thinking only of Marlena’s safety he ran over to Bo and took his gun and heading towards the cabin.

 

“John what are you doing? Are you crazy??” Bo yelled

 

“I love her.” John said more to himself than to anyone else. As he ran up the porch steps and stood in front of the door Bo came up behind him with a rifle in his hands.

 

“Where the hell did you get that?” John asked.

 

“The trunk.” Bo grinned.

 

John rolled his eyes. “Figures”

 

“I’m going to go around back incase he makes a run for it ok.”

 

John only nodded

 

Bo was gone, and John was ready. He stood beside the door for a second and yelled.

 

“Roman come out you’re surrounded. There’s no way you’re going to escape.”

 

He listened but there was no noise coming from inside. He turned quickly and kicked the door in with his gun pointed. The cabin was neat. Everything was in its place he thought to himself. He slowly walked inside alert and ready for anything. He heard a noise coming from the back and aimed his gun in that direction. Bo entered the room slowly and John let a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. John eyed the staircase and jerked his head signaling to Bo that he was going up. Bo nodded once and followed John.

Once they reached the top of the stairs, the only sound John heard was the beating of his heart beat pounding wildly in his chest. He was afraid, but afraid for Marlena. Not knowing if she was ok made him afraid.

 

They heard a groan coming from one of the rooms at the end of the hallway. John looked back at Bo and headed in that direction. The door was closed, and they stood outside and listened. It was a male’s voice. Bo kicked the door in but both men stayed back and didn’t enter the room immediately. Bo looked in with his gun aimed “Roman?” he said in shock.

 

John walked in behind him gun still pointed. Wanting with every fiber of his being to pull the trigger. What he saw he was pleased with. Roman has bruises everywhere. He was clutching his chest and moaning. ‘Good I hope you’re in pain you asshole’

 

“Where’s Marlena?” John asked getting to the point.

 

“Like I would tell you” Roman said sarcastically but John could tell that he was in agony.

 

“You will tell me or so help me God you’ll feel even worse than you do right now” John threatened

 

“I’m not telling you anything.” John snapped. He jumped on Roman and started punching him with all that he had. “What’s wrong with your ribs Roman? Are they broken?” John’s voice was laced with venom. He started punching him repeating in the ribs. “It hurts doesn’t it?”

 

“John stop!” Bo was yelling at him. But John couldn’t. The anger and worry he could no longer control had been unleashed on the one person who he knew deserved it.

 

Bo pulled John back, and Roman grabbed at his ribs again. “Tell us where she is Roman.”

 

“I don’t know where she is.” He yelled. He tried to get up but fell back onto the bed.

 

“Bullshit you don’t”

 

“I’m serious asshole! She took off last night. I don’t know where she went.”

 

Just then they heard sirens. The backup had finally arrived. About damn time John thought to himself. Bo left to meet with them calling John’s name at the stairs. Knowing well enough not to leave those 2 men along together.

John glared at Roman “This isn’t over” John said, and walked out of the room.

 

“No it’s not John. Not by a long shot” Roman said as he continued to cradle his broken ribs.

Marlena tripped over a rock and fell to the ground. She had been in this heat for hours and it was quickly taking its toll on her. Her skin was burning, her throat was dry and she felt like getting sick. She slowly, got back to her feet. Even though she felt weak she knew she had to keep moving. She looked around her. Everything looked the same. Every tree looked exactly like the one standing next to it. She didn’t know which direction she was headed. For all she knew she was traveling in circles making absolutely no progress. She sat down on the ground, trying to rest for a moment. Wanting to keep moving but at the same time just needing a moment to gather strength.

 

John looked out the window of the cabin; the sun was slowly setting through the trees. If he were here for different reasons he would have thought the sight was beautiful. But the only thing he was thinking of was how much time had been wasted. Each minute that passed was one minute more that Marlena was out there, alone, unprotected.

 

Roman had been taken to the local hospital as a result of his injuries. John wanted to rip him to shreds. Though when he arrived it looked like Marlena had already done that for him he thought as a tiny smile appeared on his worried face.

 

Bo came back downstairs, and John turned to look at him. “I still don’t see why they stopped the search for the night. It’s ridiculous. Who does that?” John still couldn’t believe it. The officers had started searching in the late afternoon, but to no avail they didn’t find Marlena. They said they would come back at daybreak and resume the search with more officers to help. John was livid. Not understanding their reasoning at all. It would be dark soon they had said. It’s better to look when it’s daylight. ‘Better for who?’ John had said angrily.

 

“Roman said Marlena took his wallet. So she has some cash on her. Let’s hope she’s somewhere safe.”

 

“She would have called someone by now, and besides, I can’t afford to just hope, Bo. I have to know. I have to go look for her.”

 

“John these woods are too big for you look for her alone. There’s too much ground to cover.” Bo turned around to go into the kitchen

 

John watched him with eyes full of sadness, the spark they usually had was gone. “Bo what would you do if it were Hope out there?”

 

Bo stopped suddenly. He turned around and looked at John.

 

“I love her Bo, and she’s alone out there. It’s almost dark, and she might be hurt. I need to go look for her. I couldn’t live with myself if I just sat here while she’s missing. I will do this with or without your help. Just think if you were in my place and it was Hope out there alone.” John walked over and grabbed his jacket, and headed for the door.

 

“Hold on” Bo said and grabbed the keys to the car. “We can’t look for her if we don’t at least have some flashlights”

 

John offered up a tiny smile and nodded his head. Bo put his hand on John’s shoulder “We’re going to find her, John.”

 

With his hands in front and handcuffed Roman was being lead out of the hospital by one of the local officers. His ribs had been wrapped up and his other minor injuries tended to. The officer was escorting him to county lock up until he could be taken back to Salem in the morning. The officer opened the back door to the cruiser as Roman brought his hands up behind the officer’s head and smashed his head into the top of the car. Roman watched as he stumbled backwards before falling unconsciously to the pavement. Bending over Roman grabbed the handcuff keys, the car keys and his gun. Walking around to the other side of the car he looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Quickly releasing the handcuffs he threw them on the ground and got into the car. “You should have handcuffed my hands behind my back, you asshole.” He said as he sped off into the night.

 

John and Bo had gotten what they needed out of the trunk of Bo’s car. They had grabbed flashlights; Bo had taken his handgun just incase, and he also grabbed a set of walkie talkies incase they got separated.

The sky was clear and the moon was bright which offered up a bit more light for them to see with but he wanted to be safe than sorry.

 

Starting off by Romans’ car they had seen where the earth had been disturbed by what they figured was the struggle that had taken place there the night before. Knowing the officers had started searching towards the east they decided to go west, and headed into the woods in that direction.

 

They had been looking for hours, paying close to attention to anything that might suggest she had been heading in this direction. John had pulled out his army knife that included a compass on it so they knew which direction they were staying in.

Both men had been growing tired. John looked at his watch and saw that it was after 2 in the morning. Running a free hand threw his hair he sighed in frustration. “You see anything other there?” he called over to Bo who was ahead and off to the side of him.

 

“Not yet. You?”

 

“Nothing.” John said a tad of anger lacing his tired voice. He started walking a bit to the left the flashlight pointed towards the ground. Something caught his attention and he stopped. Getting closer he squatted down. “Hey Bo, over here. I found something.”

 

“What is it?” Bo asked as he walked over to where John was.

 

“Looks like a wallet to me. Maybe Romans?” Bo picked it up and flipped through it. Seeing Roman’s license he held it up to John and he saw a mixture of anger and joy in his eyes.

 

“We’re going the right way!” John said.

 

Bo noticed there was no cash in it or credit cards. “Did she take the money and throw this away?”

 

“Maybe she left it as a sign?”

 

Bo shrugged hoping John was right. He tucked the wallet into his coat pocket and stood up.

 

“Would it be better to split up a bit?” John asked.

 

“What do you mean?” Bo asked not sure he liked the idea.

 

“Meaning instead of walking single file we walk further apart but in the same direction.”

 

Bo thought for a minute. Staring at John he wasn’t sure he wanted to go along with it.

 

“We have the walkie-talkies, we can communicate that way. Besides, we won’t split up entirely. Just spread out a bit. I think it gives us a better chance and we cover more ground that way.”

 

Bo nodded knowing John had a point. “How do you know so much about this?”

 

“Common sense, instinct maybe. I’m not really sure to tell you the truth.” He said chuckling a bit. And in actual fact he really didn’t.

 

“Ok” Bo said, “I’ll go right a bit and you continue going this way. If either one of us come across anything questionable we’ll contact the other. Sound like a plan?”

 

“Yep. Sounds good”

 

They had been walking, for a while not really coming across anything that was questionable. John got on the walkie-talkie and spoke. “Maybe she started going in another direction. Hold on….”

 

“John, what is it?”

 

“Start heading left.” John said. “I think I’m at a road.”

 

Bo headed in the direction and soon came to the road John had just told him about. Turning around and pointing his flashlight he saw John standing a few feet ahead of him.

 

“That’s just great” John said. “We’re not getting anywhere.”

 

“Maybe when she found the road she followed it and it led her into town.”

 

John knew it was possible but his gut said she didn’t. “She didn’t take the road.”

 

“She didn’t? How do you know that?”

 

“She wanted to be found. But she didn’t want to take the risk of Roman being the one to find her. So she wouldn’t have taken the road. “ John looked around in the darkness. He sighed and looked back at Bo. “Can I ask you an honest question?”

 

“Sure, you know you can.”

 

“Was there any hint that Roman was like this?”

 

“No. I mean sure Marlena and Roman had their problems. But I never thought he was capable of doing something like this to her. I never even thought the idea would have ever crossed his mind.” He walked closer to John “I’ve known you since we were teenagers…. I know how much you loved her back then and if I had known I would have done something John. He’s my brother yes. But I would have done something.”

 

John nodded in the darkness. Realizing Bo couldn’t really see him he spoke up. “Thanks, man.”

 

“Sure. Come on. We’ll keep looking.” Bo headed off the road and back into the woods. Stopping when John came up beside him. “Which way do you want to go?”

 

“How about straight?” John seemed unsure. He could still feel her but he knew something wasn’t right. “We’ll do what we did before. You go left bit and then we’ll head straight out into the woods again.”

 

“Alright.” Bo said as he started heading left.

 

John started walking straight out into the woods again. Feeling exhausted but the need to find Marlena was greater than his need for sleep right now.

 

His flashlight trained on the ground, he kept walking. Soon his eye caught something light colored. Rushing over he looked down. Marlena’s jacket was caught on a branch from a small shrub. Picking it up he looked around.

 

“Doc?” he said with urgency. Feeling panicked he shined his flashlight in every direction. Grabbing his walkie-talkie he went to talk to Bo when the light from the flashlight caught a glimpse of golden hair. “Doc!” he ran over and saw her lying on the ground in a fetal position. “Doc? Sweetheart?” He called out to her thinking she was sleeping. He knelt down beside her and touched her face softly. “She’s burning up,” he said to himself. Checking her pulse it was beating rapidly.

“Marlena? I’m here. Everything is going to be ok.” He looked on the ground for the walkie-talkie. “Shit!” he knew he dropped it in his panic. Shining the flashlight around he saw it couple of feet away. Reaching for it he saw two pairs of shoes step out in front of him. John let out a breath, and turned back towards Marlena “Thank God, Bo. I found her. She’s unconscious and her pulse is rapid. We have to get her to a hospital.” John waited for Bo to respond but he never did. He looked over and the flashlight was shone into his eyes. “Bo cut it out come on! Help me!” He yelled.

 

“Would if I could but I can’t” John’s heart stopped. The light was pointed back onto the ground and John grabbed his and pointed it at the man’s face. There stood Roman, looking at him with eyes filled with hatred, and a gun aimed directly at his head.

 

“Roman, come on. You don’t want to do this” John said desperately.

 

Roman took the guns aim off of John and trained it on Marlena’s lifeless body.

 

John dove to cover her and he looked back up at Roman with hate in his eyes. “You hurt you, and I’ll kill you I swear it.”

 

“Oh like you’re in any position to be making threats John.” Roman said with a grin.

 

“I wasn’t threatening you, I was just telling you the way it is. Why do you want to hurt her?” John asked honestly.

 

“I don’t want to hurt her. I love her.”

 

“Love her? You got a nice way of showing it, pal.”

 

“Oh and I’m sure you love her don’t you?”

 

“Of course, I love her. I’ve always loved her. What kind of question is that?” John asked. Just then Marlena stirred a bit. John forgot about Roman in that instant and looked down at her. “Doc? Come on, baby. Wake up, that’s it.”

 

Marlena’s eyes fluttered open and she brought a hand up to the side of his face. “John? You found me?” she said her voice hoarse.

 

“Yeah sweetie I found you. You’re going to be ok.” John tried to reassure her.

 

“Let her go John.” Roman said in anger.

 

“Roman?” Marlena said in horror.

 

“Yeah it’s me sweetheart. I’ve come to take you home.” He said with a sincere smile.

 

Marlena held on tighter to John. She felt so weak, and her head was pounding.

“Please, he can’t take me again. He can’t. John…”

 

John looked down at Marlena and cupped her face in his hands still very aware of her rising fever. “I’m here, Doc.” He waited for her to speak but she didn’t. “Doc?” he got closer to her face. “Sweetheart?” he started to panic.

 

“What have to done to her?” Roman yelled stepping closer to John.

 

“I didn’t do anything! She was awake and now she’s not. She’s sick Roman. She needs a hospital. As much as I would love to stay and talk with you…” John said sarcastically “…. I can’t…she can’t afford to.” John made a move to pick her up, and Roman fired a shot into the air making John stop in his tracks.

 

“Put her down now! She’s my wife she doesn’t need you. She’s never needed you John I’m the one she’s needed. Now put her down!” Roman yelled as he pointed the gun back at John’s head. Just then they heard Bo’s voice coming over the walkie-talkie.

 

“John was that a gun shot? What’s going on? John? John!” Bo yelled. Roman picked it up and turned it off, then he threw it into the brush.

 

“Now sit down!” Roman demanded.

 

John did what he was told. Knowing Roman was fully capable of shooting him dead right here. “Why are you doing this Roman?” John asked.

 

“Because she is my wife and we belong together. We’ve always belonged together. But you had to come into the picture and make her think she cared for you and not me.”

 

John shook his head. Roman had lost his mind. “What the hell are you talking about?” he said and looked back down at Marlena. The worry was growing inside of him and he had to do something quick before something bad happened to the both of them.

 

“What am I talking about? Like you don’t know.”

 

“No I don’t Roman so why don’t you explain it to me.” He tried to stall. Where the hell was Bo? His mind screamed.

 

“Marlena and I would have been really happy. We were happy until you showed up in high school. So full of yourself.”

 

“You two happy? She never even knew who you were.” John hadn’t known Roman that well when they were in high school. The only way he knew anything about him was what others had told him. He hardly went to school. Always skipping or something like that. He heard a few things from Bo but he never really paid attention to it.

 

“We would have if you hadn’t showed up. I was about to ask her out when YOU showed up. You ruined everything. But you got yours in the end, and I got Marlena.”

 

“What is THAT suppose to mean?” John asked angrily.

 

“All I’m saying is, while you had no idea who you were. Marlena and I were getting married. You should have seen the wedding night….”

 

John jumped up and charged at Roman only to have the gun pointed at him between the eyes.

 

“Do you think that’s wise?” Roman said with a grin. Pre-dawn was slowly approaching and it allowed John his first glimpse of Roman. The smile on his face made his blood boil. “Sit back down.” Roman ordered.

 

John went back to Marlena’s side and looked down at her. Her face had dirt smudges on it; she had cuts and scratches on her arms and legs. She looked so sick in the morning light. She looked so fragile and the morning air was chilly. He got closer to her and saw her body was shaking, he felt her forehead and her skin was still burning. Seeing she was only in a tank top and shorts he took off his jacket and laid it on her. Covering her the best that it would allow.

 

“Such the gentlemen.” Roman broke John out of his thoughts.

 

“More than I can say for you.”

 

“Funny, anyway. Oh I was real nice in the beginning, patient, kind understanding. She was still hung up on you although I don’t know why. But didn’t I play the charmer. I mean sure I’ve made mistakes in this marriage. It’s hard competing with a ghost sometimes. But in a way I didn’t mind because you were just that a ghost. But when I try to work out OUR problems, guess who comes walking back into the picture? YOU!” Roman yelled in anger. “I mean how did you not die from that accident John? It was supposed to kill you.”

 

“Excuse me?” John didn’t quite understand what was being said.

 

“You were supposed to die.” Roman said more to himself than to anyone else. John looked at him and saw the far away look in his eyes. Not even sure if Roman knew John was even there anymore. “I had seen you all together, Marlena and you’re friends. Always on that damn boat. I watched, I saw the crazy things you did and I took advantage of it. I set it up, to look like an accident. You were suppose to die, and you didn’t.”

 

John couldn’t believe his ears. Roman had caused it all? Over 10 years of being apart from Marlena with no memory of who he was, was Roman’s fault?

 

“After you were out of the picture I waited. I waited until I thought the time was right where I could pursue her, and it worked. Until you came back of course and she forgot all about me once again. This time I wasn’t about to let that happen.”

 

John was angry. He stood up slowly his body shaking with the rage that was at the boiling point.

 

“Roman!” they both turned to see Bo standing there his gun pointed at Roman. “What are you doing? Put the gun down. You don’t want to do this.”

 

“Yes I do.” He pointed the gun back at John, and the sound of gunshots echoed through the early morning woods.

“Roman!” they both turned to see Bo standing there his gun pointed at Roman. “What are you doing? Put the gun down. You don’t want to do this.”

 

“Yes I do.” He pointed the gun back at John, and the sound of gunshots echoed through the early morning woods….

 

John dove to cover Marlena’s body with his own as he quickly grabbed his arm, and closed his eyes. As he lay there, trying to protect Marlena time seemed to slow. What was only a few seconds felt like hours to him. He felt something hard land on his legs and his head jerked up. Looking behind him he saw Roman’s body lying there motionless. He saw a trail of blood coming from underneath his body, and he looked up and saw Bo standing there, still in the same spot with a look of horror on his face.

 

“I just shot my own brother. I think I killed him.”

 

John felt for Bo but he knew he didn’t have a choice. “Are you hit?” John asked him.

 

“No, I’m fine. What about you are you ok?”

 

“I think I got hit in the arm.”

 

Bo pulled out his cell phone and to his surprise he found a signal. It was a weak one but he hoped it would be enough. Calling 911 help was on its way.

 

They rolled Marlena into the ER as John quickly followed. He stopped at the emergency room doors and looked on through the glass.

 

Bo walked up and put a hand on John’s shoulder. “You need to get you’re arm checked out.”

 

“It’s fine I think it’s just a flesh wound.”

 

“John, it won’t do you or Marlena any good if you neglect your injury. Who knows how long they will take in there. You should keep busy so humor me and get your arm checked. If I hear anything you’ll be the first person I look for.”

 

John sighed still staring through the glass at Marlena. He slowly nodded as he walked away to be checked out.

 

The bullet had grazed him just as he thought. John had to get a few stitches but everything else looked fine. He was anxious to get back to Marlena. The doctor gave him a prescription for some mild painkillers but John really wasn’t listening to anything he was saying. He seemed to be nodding in all the right places because the doctor never even noticed.

 

Bo rushed into the room and John’s head snapped up.

 

“Bo what’s wrong?” John asked standing up.

 

“It’s Marlena…”

 

John ran from the room before Bo could finish. Heading towards the room where Marlena was he saw people coming in and out of the room in a commotion.

 

“What’s going on?” he turned to Bo.

 

“I don’t know I went to check on something, and I came back and it was like this.”

 

John walked up to the nurse’s station “I need to know what’s wrong with Marlena Evans Brady.”

 

The nurse looked up at John. “I’m sorry sir. You’ll have to wait to speak with the doctor.”

 

John threw his hands up in the air. “That’s just great!” he shouted.

 

“Is there a problem?” John turned around and saw an older looking man holding a patient’s chart.

 

“Yes as a matter of fact. I want to know what’s going on. But I can’t seem to get anything out of anybody.” John took a deep breath trying to calm himself down. “I want to know what’s going on with Marlena Evans Brady. We brought her in earlier.”

 

“Are you family?” the doctor said.

 

John looked at Bo then back to the doctor. “I’m her husband and this is her brother in law.” John was lying. But he knew he needed to in order to get any information on Marlena’ condition.

 

“I’m Dr. Greene. I examined Mrs. Brady when she was first brought in.” John reached out to shake his hand, and Bo did the same.

 

“You’re wife just had a seizure…”

 

“What??” John began to panic.

 

“She has a severe case of dehydration and heat stroke. When you brought her in her body temperature was at 105°, which likely caused the seizing. I’m going to run some more tests to make sure nothing else is wrong. Right now we’re concentrating on getting her body temperature back to normal. I’ve given her something that will hopefully bring it down….”

 

“Dr. Greene.” A nurse shouted his name.

 

“I’ll be out when I can.” And with that he was gone.

 

John stood there, in shock. I can’t lose her now he thought to himself. He sat down in one of the waiting chairs and put his head in his hands.

 

About 20 minutes later, the doctor came out and John stood up. John saw the look on the doctor’s face and knew something was wrong. “What happened?” John asked.

 

Bo was coming around the corner when he saw John approach the doctor. Walking over he joined them.

 

“She had another seizure,” he paused. Looking at this man he saw the worry so evident in his eyes. He loved his job, but in all the time he’s been a doctor he never looked forward to this part. “Her body temperature had gone down slightly, but the seizures are bringing it back up. The last one was too strong… I’m sorry but you’re wife is in a coma.”

 

What?” Bo couldn’t believe it.

 

John felt like he had been kicked in the gut. “I’m sorry I don’t think I heard you right. You just said she was in a coma.”

 

“I’m sorry but you heard correctly.”

 

“What does this mean? She’s going to wake up isn’t she?” John asked praying to anyone who was listening.

 

“In most cases patients do come out of them, and make a full recovery.”

 

“Well, when will she wake up?” John asked.

 

“It’s hard to say. It could be tomorrow it could be a few weeks. It’s hard to say at this point. She is stable right now though, and I’ll have her moved to a private room in the ICU so her condition can be monitored closely. I’m going to order more tests on her to be on the safe side and I will let you know.”

 

“Ok yeah, I’ll pay whatever you want just bring her back ok?” In that instant John sounded so much like a little boy. So lost, and alone. Wanting to wake up from this horrifying nightmare.

 

“I’ll try my best.”

 

“Can I see her?” John asked hopeful.

 

“Once she’s moved I’ll let you see her for a few minutes.”

 

“Thank you….” John paused. He didn’t want to know but a part of him couldn’t help but ask. “Doctor?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“What’s the worst that could happen to her?”

 

“With a coma there is always the possibility of death…”

 

“And?” John asked softly.

 

“And there’s the chance she might never wake up.”

 

10 minutes later John stood outside her hospital room door. Bo had gone to get some coffee and to call Hope with the latest news.

 

John slowly entered the room, and saw Marlena lying on the bed. To anyone else she looked to be sleeping. With only an IV in her arm she looked fine, a little pale but she was still beautiful he thought to himself.

A tear came to his eye, and he let it roll slowly down his cheek.

He pulled a stool up so he could sit beside her and he gently took her hand in his.

 

“Doc? Can you hear me?” he said softly and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “Sweetheart, I am so sorry.” He bowed his head, as he wiped his eyes with his free hand. “I have every faith that you can hear me…. Marlena, I need you here with me. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

 

He saw a nurse enter the room out of the corner of his eye. Looking up at her she smiled softly, and he looked back down at Marlena. Standing up, he gently kissed her on her forehead. “I’m going to be right outside talking to Bo. But I’ll be back before you know I’m gone.” He said gently. Then he turned and walked out into the hallway.

 

Bo looked up at him, his eyes full of concern. He handed John a cup a coffee and took a drink out of his. “How is she doing?”

 

“She looks like she is sleeping, I can’t take this, Bo.”

 

“Everything will be alright.” Bo said quietly.

 

“How? This is all my fault, Bo.”

 

“Do you really believe that?”

 

“Yes, I do. I told her I wouldn’t let him hurt her, and I failed. Now look at her. She’s lying in there in a coma, and I didn’t do anything to prevent it.”

 

“John, listen to me. This is not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault but Roman’s. How could you have known that he would do something like this?”

 

“There were signs, damn it. I saw the way he was with her.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I came back to the house and he was there, really pissed off and he was going to hit her.”

 

“What??”

 

“I stopped him, we fought and he ended up leaving. I thought for good but I was wrong and that mistake could cost Marlena’s life.” John said with defeat lacing his voice.

 

“No one could have known he was planning on doing this.”

 

“But I should have!” John said his voice rising.

 

“Why John? How could you have known?”

 

“I don’t know I should have paid attention more. I shouldn’t have brushed his behavior off.”

 

“John you will drive yourself crazy thinking of the ‘what ifs’ but it’s done…. Roman wont be hurting her anymore.” Bo said.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“They brought him in here, he was still alive. I’ve been checking on him too. He’s still my brother after all.” John nodded in understanding. “He died a couple of minutes ago. I went to check on him after I got the coffee.”

 

John shook his head “Bo, I’m so sorry. I know it must have been hard what you had to do. He was your brother, and I’m truly sorry.”

 

Bo nodded slightly. “I just got off the phone with Hope. I told her about Marlena, she was hysterical. She wanted to come down here but I told her it would be best if she stayed with Shawn D. I don’t know how I’m going tell the folks about this. I still don’t think everything that’s happened has even registered with me yet.”

 

John took a drink of his coffee, “I wish I could say the same.” John said softly, as he looked back into Marlena’s room.

John had refused to leave Marlena’s bedside longer than necessary those next 3 days. He had rented a room in a small Bed and Breakfast so he could shower, and then he would head back to the hospital to keep watch by her side. He had caused a scene that first night when the hospital told him he had to leave. An hour later, and after John promised he wouldn’t be in the way a cot was brought into Marlena’s room so he could sleep in the room with her. The cot had been too short to accommodate his long legs. But, the restless sleep was the furthest thing from his mind.

 

They had been running constant tests on Marlena to monitor her on going progress. The doctor was glad to tell John that the IV treatment had worked to replenish Marlena’s system. Now they just had to wait to see her condition when she woke up.

 

John had been asking questions whenever he got the chance. He had sat with the doctor yesterday and asked when she woke up if she would be fine. John was not naïve…he had never been in this situation before and although he knew her waking up would be perfect the results of the trauma her brain had taken could in the end be painful for the both of them.

The doctor had listed off a few lasting effects that could result in the seizures she had suffered. Though most were not serious, the doctor assured him that in most of these cases people wake up and only feel slightly weak. John still worried. How could he not?

 

As he sat next to her, he stared at her in silence. Hoping she would give any sign of life. He was growing frustrated. Growing more worried as the days passed. He had been talking to her. Praying she heard his voice and she would somehow come back to him. But she continued to lie there still. The only sign of life was the even and gentle sound of her breathing.

 

Bo had gone back to Salem the day before taking Roman’s body with him. Bo had told Hope what had happened and his family knew the situation with Marlena. But he felt he had to be there for his parents. John was sympathetic. He had known Bo’s parents through high school. They had quickly grown close. After John transferred to Salem the Brady’s became the family unit he had needed. He loved them, and only hoped they wouldn’t hate him for what had happened.

 

Looking back down at Marlena, he took her hand in his and he kissed it. There must be something more I can do he asked himself. An idea occurred to him and a smile lit his face. Kissing her hand softly he placed it back down onto her chest and went to look for the doctor.

 

20 minutes later John came back into Marlena’s room and sat down beside her.

“Sweetheart, I talked to the doctor. I came up with a great idea. I asked him since you were stable if it would be all right to transfer you. Being around family and friends would be good for you he said. Before you know it, you’re going to be surrounded by all the people who love you. We’re going home to Salem.” John leaned over and kissed her forehead softly, and ran his finger along her cheek. He just hoped his idea worked.

 

The helicopter landed on the roof of Salem’s University hospital, while a doctor and a couple of nurses waited with the stretcher to take Marlena to her room. John got out of the helicopter and shook the doctor’s hand.

 

“John Black.”

 

“Dr. Grant. I want to assure you Mr. Black; Dr. Evans is one of our own. We’ll do whatever we have to, to see that she gets well.”

 

John nodded “Thank you. I appreciate it.” He walked beside Marlena’s stretcher as they entered the hospital. Once they had Marlena settled in her room. John went and used the payphone to call Bo and Hope and let them know what was going on.

 

It was well into the evening; John had rented a car and had gotten himself a new cell phone since his last one was left in the cabin. He had called Bo again and had called work to hear the latest reports, and to let them know he would be out of town indefinitely. He had left his best man in charge so he had no worries concerning work. To be truthful his job was the last thing on his mind. But he needed something, anything to keep him busy. He had just come back from getting a cup of coffee when there was a knock at the hospital room door.

 

“Come in.” John sat up and turned towards to see who it was.

 

The door opened and Lexie walked in. “John?”

 

“Lexie, How are you?”

 

“Hope told me but I didn’t believe it, you’re alive?” she looked at him in disbelief.

 

John chuckled “Last time I checked yeah.”

 

She gave him a hug “I can’t tell you how good it is to see you.”

 

“It’s great to see you too Lexie. Been a long time.”

 

“Long time?” she laughed. “John, we all thought you were dead. I still can’t believe I’m here talking to you.”

 

John smiled. “It was a little hard to believe myself.”

 

“I guess it would be. Hope told me about the memory loss.”

 

John nodded. “But I remember everything. Doc was there to help me.” His voice got quiet and it was then that he noticed Lexie wearing a lab coat. “You’re a doctor?”

 

She smiled “Yes. I just finished my residency a few months ago.”

 

He looked down and noticed the ring on her finger as well. “You got married?”

 

“Yes I did” she smiled. “Almost 5 years ago.”

 

“I don’t suppose I know the lucky guy?”

 

“Know him?” she laughed. “You could say that”

 

John rubbed his chin then snapped his fingers. “Could it be… Abe?”

 

“Hard guess I know.”

 

“You two were inseparable. I knew you two would get married someday. How is he?”

 

“He’s doing really good. He became a cop.” John had to laugh at that. Not surprised in the least. “He’s out of town right now. Following some lead. You know him.”

 

“I do. Well, let me be the last to offer my congratulations.” He smiled.

 

“Thank you. I just wish we were having this conversation under better circumstances.”

 

John looked back to Marlena. “I want her to wake up. I can’t describe it. But I feel so empty. It’s been 4 days and I keep waiting for her to open those pretty eyes of hers.”

 

Lexie put her hand on John’s arm. “She will. She’s a fighter you know that.”

 

John smiled. “Yes she is.”

 

Lexie looked at her watch. “I hate to go but I have to check on some of my patients. But I heard she was transferred here and I wanted to come by and see how she was. I saw the results of the tests that had been run, and things are looking good John.”

 

“Thank you, Lexie.”

 

Lexie smiled and walked to the door “She’ll wake up it just might take some time, ok?”

 

John nodded, as Lexie turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. John sat back down next to Marlena just as his cell phone began to ring. Reaching over he grabbed it off the bedside table and answered it.

 

“John Black here.”

 

“John? Is that really you?” John knew that voice.

 

“Caroline?”

 

“Bo told us what happened, and he gave me your phone number. I can’t believe you’re alive.”

 

He smiled. “I seem to be getting a lot of that today. How are you Caroline?”

 

“As well, as could be expected I suppose.”

 

“Caroline look. I’m really sorry about Roman I…”

 

Caroline cut him off “John it’s ok. Bo told us everything. I just wanted to call and ask you if you could come over.”

 

“Are you still at the old address?”

 

“No, No. We’re at the Brady Pub.”

 

“The Brady Pub? You mean you guys finally opened on after all these years?”

 

“Yes. We’ve had it open for a few years now. But I wanted to talk to you.”

 

John looked down at Marlena. He didn’t want to leave her but he felt he owed it to Caroline to talk with her. It had been years since he’d last seen the two people he loved like parents. He bent over and kissed Marlena softly. “I won’t be gone long,” he whispered. Straightening up he spoke back into the phone “What’s the address?”

 

He pulled his rental car up the Pub; he sat in his car for a minute and looked at the building. “So much has changed,” he said to himself. Taking a deep breath he got out of the car and headed towards the door.

 

He walked in slowly; looking around he saw people eating. Some were laughing, some just talking quietly amongst themselves. It was then that he saw her behind the bar talking to what he guessed was a customer. She had aged some, but she looked just like he remembered. Not wanting to interrupt he walked over to the bar and sat a few seats down from where she was standing. She hadn’t noticed him coming in, and it wasn’t until she turned to face him that tears filled her eyes. She came around from behind the bar and stood in front of him. He stood up and looked down at her, and a gentle smile graced her face. She pulled him into a hug as she quietly started to cry. She hugged him as tightly as she could. Pulling away only to embrace him once again. He smiled. He had missed this, missed her, but most of all missed the family he had come to love as his own.

 

“Caroline, I’m so sorry.” He felt a tear roll down his cheek, and he realized he was crying.

 

She pulled away and looked up at him. “Don’t apologize.”

 

“But Roman was…”

 

“Roman made his choices. He was my son and I’ll always love him but he made his own choices.” She shook her head in sadness. “I just keep thinking that I hadn’t done enough for him, given him enough love, and support.”

 

“No, don’t you blame yourself. I know you and I know that you love with everything that you are. You’re family is your life Caroline.”

 

She nodded. “Then why? He wasn’t like this. I mean he was rebellious when he was younger. Cutting classes, never doing what he was told. But I had no idea he would do something like this, and to Marlena. She’s always been such a sweet girl. Always putting others before herself. I just don’t understand.”

 

“I don’t know that we ever will. How is Pop…? I mean Shawn. How is he?”

 

Caroline looked back up at John a smile tugging at her lips but she chose not to mention the fatherly reference John had made. “He’s alright. He took it hard naturally. Like me he doesn’t understand. He wants answers. But I don’t think he’ll ever get them. He went out for a little while. He shouldn’t be gone too long though.”

 

John looked to the ground. “When is the funeral?”

 

“We’re going to have it on the weekend. That way the rest of the family can fly in, on time.”

 

John nodded and let out a quiet sigh.

 

“Are you hungry? You must be hungry.”

 

John shook his head. “No, I’m ok really.”

 

“You could never lie to me John. You look exhausted, and you need to eat.” Caroline went back behind the bar while John sat back down on his bar stool. “I’ll make you’re favorite.” She gave him a small smile that he couldn’t help but return.

 

He had just finished eating when he heard the door open followed shortly but an Irish accent he would know anywhere. Turning slightly he looked at the man he thought of as a father. Like Caroline he had grown older, white hair replaced the darker color he once had. He looked back towards the bar. Not knowing what to say to this man. Still feeling guilty for what had transpired between Roman and him.

 

Caroline came out from the back and spotted Shawn immediately. Giving him a smile she looked towards John who had his head down. She walked over to John and placed a reassuring hand on his, he looked up at her, as she smiled down at him. “Don’t worry John. He’s always loved you like a son, that has never change.”

 

John didn’t speak he only nodded as he slowly turned in his stool and made eye contact with him. Like with Caroline they only stared at each other in silence. It was only when Shawn walked forward that John stood up.

 

John offered his hand. “Shawn I can’t apologize enough for….”

 

Before he knew it he was engulfed in a bear hug. “I never dared to hope this day would come. It’s good to have you home.”

 

He hugged him in return. Earlier fears were put to rest. Fears of anger and hatred no longer existed. “It’s good to be home, Pop.”

 

It was now 10:30pm and John was still talking to Shawn and Caroline. The pub had closed not long ago, and he filled them both in on Marlena’s condition. Shawn wiped the bar and looked at John. “But she’s going to wake up isn’t she?”

 

John took a sip of coffee. “They are hopeful. They say she has good chances. But the longer she’s in that coma the more I get worried that she won’t.”

 

Caroline laid her hand on his shoulder “Just have faith. That and the love that surrounds her and you will see you both through this.”

 

John nodded and offered her a small smile. “I should get back to the hospital.”

 

“You look tired. Are you sure you’ll be ok driving?” Caroline asked concerned.

 

“Yeah I’ll be alright. I appreciate the supper though.”

 

“Don’t you worry about it.” She smiled.

 

“I’ll call you if anything changes ok?”

 

“Thank you.” He gave them both hugs as he left the pub and headed back to the hospital.

 

He had set up the cot the hospital had given him. He had talked to Lexie when he had returned to the hospital asking her if he could stay. Knowing he wouldn’t leave anyway she had given him a smile and had gotten him a cot to sleep on.

 

After he had made the cot up, he sat back down bedside Marlena. Telling her everything that had happened earlier in the evening. The visit with Shawn and Caroline, the talk they had, how Caroline had insisted on making him supper. Just like old times he thought with a smile. Before he knew it he had fallen asleep with his head resting beside her body and his arm resting upon her chest.

 

He was having the greatest dream. Marlena and him were at a park. She was leaning on her elbows and he had his head resting comfortably in her lap. She slowly started to run her fingers through his hair. He sighed quietly. “I love you, Marlena.”

 

“And I love you, John.”

 

He smiled. Wanting to stay here forever. To bask in the feelings of peacefulness, and love.

 

“John?” she said.

 

“John?” she repeated softly.

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“John?” she shifted beneath him.

 

“What?”

 

Her fingers were still playing with his hair, and he got chills.

 

Feeling himself being pulled out of his dream he wanted to scream in protest. Slowly he opened his eyes and realized he was still in her hospital room. Though something felt different he thought to himself.

 

He lifted his head up slowly, and it was then that he realized her hand was resting on his head. “Doc?” he said softly, afraid to hope but wanting to with everything he had.

 

He looked up at her face, and his heart skipped a beat.

 

“You know I’ve been saying you’re name for almost 5 minutes.” She smiled at him, as tears ran freely from his eyes.