My Heart Remembers You (Rewrite) – By Ms. Goldie

Chapter 1 – The Last Night at Maison Blanche

Marlena had been growing increasingly worried the longer John was gone. It had been nearly two weeks when she’d gotten the call from him to come to Louisiana. Maybe her relief at hearing his voice had made it so that she didn’t question anything else. Not how flat his cadence sounded, or how out of character his request was. She’d quickly packed a bag and rushed to his side. Of course it had been a trap, and she’d walked right into it, concerned with only one thing. John. She’d been with him at Maison Blanche for six weeks. Six weeks of horror and torture at every turn. Six weeks of falling deeper and deeper in love with the man she was supposed to have stopped loving. She’d never stop loving him. She realized that when she held him against her thinking only that she needed him to live.

Her fingers softly stroked over his face. He was riddled with bruises and cuts, and his face was covered with a thick, dark beard. Underneath it all he was still her John. He always would be. In the silence of darkness they spoke of Roman and Kristen. They talked about Belle and Brady, Sami, Eric, and Carrie. They remembered their life together and times with the children, but they refused to allow Stefano to destroy them. They had to live for the children, and even though they weren’t saying it aloud, they had to live for each other. 

A storm raged outside. Marlena could see the trail of water over the glass of the small window as the lightning flashed. Earlier, before the monitor was disconnected, she and John had seen the party upstairs too. Initially they’d felt such hope at seeing Bo and Roman, but as time went on, their hope had faded. No one was looking for them. Stefano had forced Marlena to say as much when she called home. The whole family believed she’d run off on some romantic rendezvous with John, leaving the children behind. It broke her heart to think that the people she loved would believe that ruse, and yet she’d seen it on the monitor. No one was looking for her and John.

Tenderly, she touched his face, pushing his hair back. “We’ll figure this out,” she whispered, but even as she said it, she didn’t have much faith. John was too weak, malnourished, and his mind… well, his mind struggled to stay with her. It was a constant fight. She was playing chess with Stefano just to earn John time free of the drugs, free of the torture. He’d had a reprieve, if only because Stefano had been distracted by the people in his home. Stefano was afraid. Marlena had seen it in his eyes.

The door to the dungeon clanked, and clattered loudly as Stefano opened it, and stepped inside. His eyes raked over John and Marlena with distaste. They disgusted him. It didn’t matter what he did, or how wretched and weak John was, Marlena would not leave him. She sat on the floor near the cot cradling John’s sleeping body against her as if he were a child. She didn’t seem to understand that John would never be the man she needed, but he would show her. He would show her just how weak John Black truly was. 

Wiping his hands off briskly, Stefano said, “Well, I have come to give you some good news.”

     John lifted his head, surprising Stefano that he was awake, and he struggled to his feet. Even battered and bruised, exhausted from malnutrition, he stood in front of Marlena as if he had the strength to protect her. Never allowing his eyes to leave Stefano’s he told Marlena, “He’s releasing us. Oh, that’s wonderful news.”

    Stefano laughed at the futility of John’s statement. He wasn’t letting them go. He would never do that. John was too valuable, and Marlena was the woman he coveted. “No. I am going to allow you both to bathe, and change your clothes. You will look a little more presentable. After all, I cannot take you on my plane, and allow my pilot and steward to see you looking like this. It would be unseemly… but, we must hurry, because we are leaving tonight.”

    “Tonight?” John asked with narrowed eyes.

    “Why so soon?” Marlena wanted to know. She stepped closer to John, resting her small hand on his waist. Her gesture was not lost on Stefano.

    Stefano waved his hand as if their questions were inconsequential. “Circumstances have forced me to move up my plans, but do not worry. Nothing has changed. Your friends will still be told that you were killed in a tragic accident.”

     “No ones going to buy that,” John mumbled, leaning back slightly against Marlena. She rubbed her cheek against his arm, and as much as he enjoyed the feeling of her against him, he knew he was filthy. There was shame in that. Shame in the fact that he was dirty and hadn’t had the opportunity to bathe in nearly two months, and shame in the fact that Stefano had weakened him to where he was.

“Oh, yes, they will, because while your friends are mourning you, we will be far, far, away. Getting on with our lives. John, you, with a new memory, and you, Marlena, with a new life… with me.” Stefano ushered another man inside the dank room. “Now, let’s go down the hall.”

Marlena knew it was the perfect time to escape. Bo and Roman were somewhere upstairs. The house was full of guests and revelers. She’d seen them on the monitor, but she also knew, and Stefano knew, that she wouldn’t leave John. He was too weak to fight, and Marlena loved him too much to ever leave him behind. Plus, the storm outside was raging. Stefano was very aware of all of it. That was why he was moving them. But it was more than that. It was why he’d brought Marlena to Maison Blanche to begin with. He used both Marlena and John to keep the other under his control. 

They followed Stefano out into the darkened hallway, and down to another door. Stefano unlocked it, while the silent man in the dark clothes ushered them inside a large room with a pistol in his hand. No words, just a jerky gesture indicating where they were to go. Once inside, Marlena immediately looked around, trying to see if there was any possible way out, but she knew there wasn’t. The room was empty except for a sink, a toilet, and an open shower with a drain in the floor in the far corner. The furnishings were sparse, including only a bench, and a table with clothing, food, bottled water, and toiletries piled on top. Marlena sighed, and reached for John’s hand seeing how tired he was.

     Stefano watched Marlena with avid interest. Her intelligence fascinated him to no end, and her beauty had no equal. She’d known almost as soon as they’d entered that resisting him was futile. “Do not even try to escape, Marlena. If you do, I will not hesitate to kill John, but I think you already know that. Do you not?”

     “I hate you,” she hissed at him, but he only laughed. She squeezed John’s hand, and then rested her cheek on his arm. Stefano might think that she would be his, but she would die first.

     “Someday, Marlena, you will love me,” Stefano told her. He gestured towards the table laden with supplies, and then glanced at her one last time. “I will be patient… for now, but you will be mine, Marlena.”

John stepped towards Stefano with a low growl, trying to shake off Marlena’s hold on him, but she held firm to his hand.

Stefano laughed. “I will be back after the preparations are made. You might as well get comfortable. You will be here for a while.”

John watched Stefano leave the room with a face full of rage. Marlena would never belong to that bastard. Never. Just remembering Stefano’s meaty palms on her soft creamy skin made him feel ill. Once the door closed behind Stefano, and John heard the lock click into place, he released Marlena’s hand and began to wander the room, looking for a possible way out. Thinking about the night Marlena seduced and drugged did something to him. Something he was only just starting to understand. As much as he’d seemed to pine for Kristen, it was Marlena’s hands on his skin that he craved. It was Marlena’s lips he dreamed of, and it was her soft scent that wrapped around him in his darkest moments over the last six weeks. Stefano brought her there to use as a way of controlling him, but what she’d really done was save his life.

John finished walking the small perimeter of the room, and discovered quickly that there was no escape. Looking towards Marlena, he walked towards her. She stood in the middle of the room watching him sadly. “Doc, we’ve got to come up with a plan. A way out of this mess.”

Her warm hand slid up his chest, and John was again shamed by his own filth. He wanted to pull away from her, but he knew it would hurt her. Tears filled her eyes as she looked up at him. “I’m so scared, John. The way Stefano is looking at me,” she said softly, her voice trailing off. “He wants me. I see it in his eyes… oh, G-d, John! I can’t! It makes me think of what Kellam Chandler did to me… how helpless I felt.”

     “Hey, Doc… Baby, I swear… I will die before I let him touch you. The thought of him with you… no. No, I will kill him with my bare hands before that happens,” he said with a low growl. “No one will touch you… no one.”

Marlena took a half step closer, sliding her hand further up his chest, wrapping it around his neck. She lowered her head placing her forehead on his warm chest. She sighed softly, feeling relieved at his words. She could trust John to say exactly what she needed to hear to make her feel better. “I believe you. As long as I’ve got you… I can breathe. As long as I’ve got you… I can hope.” She lifted her face, looking up at him, and her soft hands roamed the valleys between his ribs. He was so thin. Reaching for his hand, she whispered, “There’s food… you’ve got to eat. Come on.” 

She led him towards the table where everything was piled. John eyed the food warily, afraid to touch it, afraid it was drugged. 

“John, please. For me?” she begged him, touching his face lightly. He saw her desperation, and something else he was afraid to acknowledge. “I need you, and you have to eat.”

He stared at her for a moment. Those hazel eyes said so much, and they would talk about it all. Soon. But the most pressing concern she had was his health. In her eyes he saw her fear, her concern, and her love for him. It was the love that scared him. Stepping closer to the table, he reached for a sandwich. “Okay, Doc,” he said with a gentle smile. “I’m eating.”

“Thank you. I can’t be without you, you know,” she said, reaching for a sandwich, and sliding to the floor to sit beside him. Their backs rested against the cool stone wall, and Marlena told him gently, “Belle needs you. Brady needs you. So, as much as you distrust Stefano… you have to eat… because we all need you, John.”

We all need you. Yes, they would need to talk about whatever was happening between them very soon. Changing the subject, he said, “I wonder where he’s taking us.”   

Marlena tried to think of places Stefano could take them. She was certain it wouldn’t be San Cristobal. It also wouldn’t be the island near Greece where he’d taken Carrie when he’d kidnapped her. Those would be too obvious. “It could be anywhere, but I think he’s taking us to his island… the one in the Caribbean. He would own it under an alias… and there are thousands of privately owned islands there. Finding us, if anyone is looking, would take years–”

“ –and by then, he’d have accomplished what he set out to do.” John was quiet for a moment, before he said, “He’s going to do it, Doc. He’s going to make me his mercenary again. I know that’s the plan. That’s what he meant when he said he’d give me a new memory. He’s planning to use me for something. There’s no other reason.”

Marlena knew John was right, and yet he was so weak and so defeated. She couldn’t let him give up. “We don’t know that, John.”

“I do,” he whispered, staring at his half eaten sandwich. “I know him, Doc. I don’t know how, but I do.” Most of his memories were blurry images, but there were others that were nothing but laughter, or the echoes of pain. So much pain he didn’t fully understand it, and even without fully remembering, he associated Stefano with every single one. Helplessness washed over him like a wave of melancholy. He looked at her with desperation on his face. Setting his sandwich on the floor beside him, John reached for her cheek, stroking her skin tenderly, “Doc, I don’t want to forget you.”

She gave him a tender smile, trying to reassure him. “You won’t. I love you too much to let you forget me. I’ll fight to keep you with me.”

John stared into her hazel eyes for a long moment. Maybe the time to talk about their feelings was right then. John feared that Stefano would rip them apart sooner rather than later. Once they arrived at their destination it was almost certain, and when would they have time alone again? His thumb brushed across her mouth. Marlena’s lips parted, and her soft breath wafted over his thumb. He whispered, “I still love you. I want you to know that. I will always love you, and I think, even if I forget everything… my heart would still remember you.” He ran the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip again. “Doc, I’m in love with you. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped… even when you begged me to move on, it’s always been you.”

Marlena kissed his fingers, and then was silent for a moment. He’d surprised her. She’d been thinking that her feelings for him were one-sided. Perhaps he’d been feeling the same way. But they were running out of time. Stefano would want to separate them. She leaned into John’s hand. “I still love you… I will always love you.” She touched his bearded face gently, and told him, “No matter what, I can’t stop loving you.” There was relief on his face, when she whispered, “I’m in love with you. I’m so much in love with you.”

She glanced at the door warily. Stefano was going to return, and they still weren’t showered. Marlena looked down at John’s half eaten sandwich. Maybe if they showered and got cleaned up, John might try to eat more. Getting to her feet, she took stock of what was on the table. Clean clothes for both of them, as well as shoes, and more sandwiches. She could feel John’s intense gaze on her, as she gathered up the toiletries – washrags, and towels, toothbrushes and toothpaste – walking them over to the bench near the shower in the corner. The soft shuffle of John’s jeans and the pad of bare feet on the stone floor let her know he was close behind.

Her blonde hair moved with her, and her body was so graceful. He trailed behind her silently, thinking about how much she meant to him. As much as he wished she weren’t here with him at Maison Blanche, John also knew that her presence, thus far, had saved him. She sat the supplies on the wooden bench near the shower, and needing to be close to her, he settled himself against her, wrapping his arms around her hips loosely. He knew he was filthy, but none of that mattered. The shame was gone. He needed her, because the fear of being separated from her was burning him up from the inside out. Burying his face in her neck, and breathing deeply of her hair, he murmured, “You mean so much to me. You’re my best friend. You’re my everything. I need you to know that, because if he succeeds… and I forget. I want you to remember what I’m saying, because I don’t know what type of man I’ll be when he’s finished.”

Marlena allowed her head to fall back onto his chest. “We’re in this together,” she said softly. “The only person I can depend on is you, and I want you to depend on me? Promise me, John. We’re a team.”

He took a deep breath, trying to believe what he was saying. Kissing the top of her head, he replied, “I promise, Doc. I do need you.”

She turned in his arms, staring up at him for a moment, before she said quietly, “Lets shower, and get cleaned up, before Stefano comes back.” Stepping out of his arms, his eyes never left her as she started to slowly unbutton her shirt.

“Doc?” John asked, watching her fingers move over the pearl buttons of her white blouse. He wasn’t sure what was going on in her mind, but as she revealed her creamy skin one button at a time, he felt his body reacting. He should have looked away, but there wasn’t a shower curtain. There would be no privacy in that room anyway, and something in Marlena’s hazel eyes told him that his gaze was welcomed. He was so lost, so lonely… and he needed something. He needed love, comfort, connection. He needed her. His index finger ran down the smooth skin of her sternum.

“John, get undressed, so we can shower,” she told him, slipping her shirt from her shoulders, and laying it on the end of the bench. He stared at her soft breasts encased in a creamy white lace, and a groan escaped his lips. Low, and deep, there was no mistaking what that sound meant. John scanned lower. The line of her waist disappearing into her slacks was pure art. Did she know what she was doing to him? Even weak and malnourished, his cock was starting to ache.

He watched her as she sifted through the things piled on the bench, and located a toothbrush. She started brushing her teeth, smiling at him in the mirror. He wanted to touch her, run his palm down her spine, cup her breasts in his rough palms. Watching her lean over the sink, and rinse her mouth out felt so domestic. They’d done it hundreds of times when they were married. She’d try to talk to him with a mouth full of foam while brushing her teeth or he would make her laugh, and she’d end up spitting all over the sink. 

Forcing himself to keep his hands off of her, John let her finish, and then reached for another toothbrush. The closest he’d come to a clean mouth in the last two months was scraping the filth from his teeth with a dirty fingernail. Stefano had set out to reduce him to an animal, and he hadn’t succeeded. But he’d come precariously close. John knew it hadn’t worked because Marlena had saved him. Her mere presence and softly whispered words had pulled him back from the brink so many times. Without thought he reached for her, the fingers of his left hand sliding across the skin of her waist as she bent over to find the soap and a washrag.

Marlena knew he needed her. She could feel it. It came off of him in waves, but she needed him too. Not simply a sexual desire, although she could feel that too, but the need for a deeper connection. Something to remind him, remind both of them that they were still alive. So while he brushed his teeth, she stepped behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist, while she placed her cheek on his bruised and battered back. Linking her fingers together on his abdomen, she felt his muscles tremble under her touch. Even after he’d finished, they stood together in silence. John leaned on the edge of the sink with both hands, allowing Marlena to rest against his back, both of them absorbing the strength of the other.

With a soft kiss against his back, she finally released him, and began undressing. John turned and watched her bra fall to the stone floor. She was fucking gorgeous. He’d kissed and sucked those breasts so many times, and while they changed over the years, his desire for her had never wavered. He continued to watch her like a voyeur, even though he knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t stop himself, and Marlena didn’t seem to mind. She moved with confidence. Her slacks were pushed over her rounded hips, and she looked up at him as she slipped her panties off. Her pupils were wide, and John could imagine that she was getting aroused by her display.

She finally said with a grin tossed over her shoulder, as she turned on the shower, “Are you just going to watch me, or are you going to shower too?”

John began to disrobe with shaky fingers, removing after several long weeks the jeans he’d arrived in. He had no shirt, or socks. He placed his clothing in a pile on the floor, kicking it to the side, and he stepped under the water with her, pulling her into his arms. His muscles trembled. All he could think was that it might possibly be the last few moments he had alone with her. Lying to her and himself, he tried to be positive. “We’re going to figure this out, Doc. I don’t know how… at least not yet, but we’re going to get out of this together.”

“I know. I’ve always known I can count on you.” She smoothed warm water over his face, and pushed his long hair back from his forehead. “You mean so much to me.”

“I’m filthy,” he whispered, feeling his cock surge against her hip.

Soaping up a washrag, she kissed his shoulder gently, “Turn around so I can wash your back.”

John stared at her momentarily, and then turned slowly. The feeling of her fingers running over his back, and the soapy glide of the cloth, caused a moan to escape him. Months. It had been so long since he’d felt hot water, or the smooth texture of soap across his flesh. His head fell forward, as he moaned, “That feels so good, Doc. I haven’t bathed in over a month.”

“I know,” she said with a laugh.

He glanced back at her with a look of mock outrage, “Are you saying I stink?”

Marlena’s eyes widened, and she exclaimed, “Did I say that?”

John turned to face her. “You insinuated it,” he said, smacking her ass. It happened so quickly, so naturally, and Marlena’s gasp of surprise left him aching even more. He hadn’t realized how it was to fall back into what they had. So natural. His arm slipped around her waist, tugging her closer. He’d felt like since their affair he’d been forcing himself to hold back with her, forcing himself to maintain strict boundaries that were too easily blurred. This was a perfect example. They should be uncomfortable, because showering together was so intimate… and yet he held her naked body against him, and they weren’t.

She ran the cloth over his shoulder, and across the front of his chest, reluctant to take her hands off of him. But she handed him the rag, “I think you’ve got it from here.”

“What about your back?” he asked her.

Marlena had no doubt about where this flirtation was heading. Her body ached, her center throbbed. She tried to put some space between them, but then she saw his cock, erect against his abdomen, and her legs shook. With a slight waver in her voice, she glanced away quickly, saying, “You finish up, while I wash my hair.”

John started to wash his body, but then he froze almost immediately, watching her shampoo her hair. Her skin glistened as the water and lather flowed over her soft skin, and her breasts pulled high, when her arms lifted. Soap dripped from the tips of her nipples, and the air choked in his lungs. Hazel eyes met his, and she said softly, “Wash your body, John”

“Doc…” he whispered, stepping closer. He could feel his cock throbbing, and the growing need in him was becoming uncomfortable, but he followed her directions, and began to wash up.

With her hair washed and rinsed, she caught John staring at her again. She took the washrag from his hands, and said softly, “Wash your hair.” 

He began to move, but continued to stare at her as she washed her own body. Marlena knew he wanted her. He couldn’t hide that from her, and a part of her thrilled with the knowledge. She liked knowing that he still desired her. Her body was giving off less obvious signs. Her breasts were swollen, feeling heavy with want. Her nipples were tights, and her skin flushed. But the most obvious sign to her was that deep ache between her thighs that bordered on pain, and the slick movement of her throbbing sex.

John ran his hand softly down her back, stopping at the base of her spine. His index finger dipped into the crevice of her ass. She could feel his hot breath on her shoulder, and his cock against her hip. Marlena shivered, and turned to look at him. Without saying anything she linked her fingers through his, turned off the shower, and walked him over to the bench. She could feel the tremble in him, and lightly pressed her palms down on his shoulders. He sat, looking up at her, while his hands settled on her hips. The silence carried on for several moments, until John whispered helplessly, “I’m so lost right now, Doc.”

His body was thinner, and the abuse he’d suffered was more than physical. Both of them would be scarred from this experience for the rest of their lives. Marlena couldn’t fathom everything Stefano had put him through, but his body told the story. Bruises, cuts, burns… all of it marred his skin, and she felt tears welling in her eyes. Leaning forward, she kissed him softly, but it wasn’t enough. With a soft moan, she opened her lips, licking across John’s mouth. “John,” she whispered. “I need you. I need to feel. You. Me.”

His fingers tightened on her hips, and he growled deep in his chest. The ache in his cock caused his hips to buck into empty air, and he tugged her closer. “Doc… baby…”

Marlena straddled his hips, and laced her fingers in his hair, pulling his head back. It forced him to look at her. “I need you,” she whispered. Her hot swollen center settled over his cock, pushing his length against his abdomen. John bucked against her again, engulfed in her flaming heat as the lips of her sex surrounded him. She slid her hips over him, allowing her wetness to cover his length. Her arms looped around his neck as she kissed him again. I want you,” she told him. She continued to slide her pussy over his cock, bumping her clit over and over again. “Make love to me,” she moaned.

“Fuck… Doc… are you sure? Please say you’re sure…” he moaned, pushing up towards her.

Her lips took his again with a groan. “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life… I’m sure. I’m sure. I’m sure.”

John lifted her up, his fingers clenching her tightly, and he slid her body down the length of his dick, moaning loudly. “Fuck! Doc!” Slipping his arms around her waist tightly, he pulled her hips closer, seating himself as deeply as he could. His body shook, and he felt as if he were on fire. When he lifted his head he found her staring into his eyes, her lips parted in desire, and her eyes sleepy with arousal. Marlena’s fingers gently pushed through the thick hair on his face with such reverence. 

She leaned forward, licking across his lips, and said, “Kiss me. I need you to kiss me.”

His mouth devoured hers. John forgot where they were in time and space, his sole focus was on the woman in front of him. Her lips, her breasts, her taste, her skin. “Doc, Doc… fuck, Doc…” he groaned, biting down on her shoulder roughly. She cried out, and he surged inside her. He buried his face in her neck, rubbing his nose along her soft skin, while wrapping his arms around her hips tightly. He was so deep inside her they became one, and the rolling motion of her hips over his length had him on the edge. “I love you, Marlena. I love you… I love you…”

“I will always love you,” she whispered. “Always. Always.” 

 He knew he was holding her too tightly, but he couldn’t let go. He needed that connection, he needed it with Marlena. He needed something to hold onto when Stefano tried to tear it all away from him. She revived his soul, and gave him something to fight for. Rocking their bodies together faster, he kissed her deeply, and started to come with a deep moan.

Marlena’s body started to shake, and her tears fell onto his face. Her core clenched around him, her fingernails scraped across his neck, and he held her hips still pushing as deeply as he could into her body while they both collided in time and space. It was only after they got their breathing back under control that John realized he’d been crying as well.

They stayed together on the bench for long  after, both of them unwilling to separate and put their clothes on. John didn’t want to let her go. It was more than simply that moment. Letting her go felt permanent, as if he wouldn’t get her back, and he’d given her up too many times. Against her ear, he whispered, “You’re mine.”

Marlena knew what he meant. Softly, she replied, “Always… You were right, you know.”

He stared at her with curious eyes, “I was right?”

“You told me that day in Carrie’s apartment that we were inevitable.” She kissed his neck. “Do you remember?”

“Yeah, I remember,” he answered her, nipping at her lips softly.

“We should get dressed.” It was the last thing she wanted, but fear was a huge motivator. Stefano’s growing obsession for her, and his treatment of John were driving forces. 

Stefano returned an hour later, seemingly pleased with their clean state, and completely oblivious to what had gone on in his absence. Marlena had made sure that the collar of John’s shirt covered the red scratches across his nape. The love bites that dotted her breasts hid beneath the cotton of the chambray she was wearing. The finger imprints on her hips were tucked beneath a pair of jeans.

Stefano glanced over John with contempt, “John, I’m surprised you were able to stand long enough to shower. You’ve barely eaten in the last month, because you keep refusing my food.”

“I’m not as far gone as you’d like to think,” John told him.

Staring at him for a moment, Stefano felt that there was a deeper meaning to what John had said, but he didn’t have time to delve any deeper. He tossed two large rain parkas at them, saying, “It is time to go. Everyone has left the house because of the storm, so we need to leave now.”

Chapter 2 – Impending Separation

Rain sliced sideways across Marlena’s face as she and John slipped on the rocks making their way towards the river at the rear of Maison Blanche. The house had been evacuated for the storm which made the timing perfect for Stefano and his henchman as they rushed them faster and faster through the raging storm. Standing in the distance on the pier, John saw two smaller figures. Lightning flashed, and one of them he recognized as Celeste. The other one had to be a figment of his imagination. Lightning flashed again, and his chest caught. Marlena’s gasp of surprise told him otherwise. She saw it too. Her fingers clenched on his hand, and they slowed.

Marlena looked up at him with wide questioning eyes, “John?”

Something wasn’t right. That couldn’t be Hope Brady standing next to Celeste. Hope was dead. Slowly, as if she suddenly sensed him, her eyes lifted and landed on John. They widened, and she took a step towards him. Celeste reached out intent on pulling her back, but she slipped free, rushing towards the slippery berm heading straight for John. She was shouting something indiscernible.

Stefano stepped in front of John and Marlena, yelling firmly, “Gina! Stop!”

Faintly, Marlena heard the women cry out, “It’s John! It’s John! Don’t tell me to stop! You’ve been hiding him from me! You’ve been keeping me from him!”

“Celeste!” Stefano roared. “Why did you bring her here?”

Celeste smirked at him. Stefano wanted to flaunt his love for Marlena in her face. He wanted to talk about how beautiful she was, how intelligent. She hated the hazel eyed beauty with every fiber of her being. If Stefano wanted Marlena, he could have her, but the last thing he was going to get was Celeste’s cooperation. “You cannot leave us here, Stefano!”

“I have already told you,” he shouted. “You will meet us in a few weeks at Petit Mustique!”

“No!” she cried. “No! I will not be left behind again! Gina and I are coming with you!”

Gina stared at John with frantic eyes, “My love! John!”

“Do you understand what you have done, Celeste?” Stefano was enraged. “I am not ready for their meeting!”

“What the fuck is going on here, old man?” John saw the fear in Stefano’s eyes. There was something he did not want John to know.

Stefano nodded towards his man with the gun. “Take them to the end of the pier. There is a boat waiting.”

Marlena pushed the hood of her parka back, and brushed her wet hair off of her forehead trying to get a closer look at the woman Stefano called Gina. “Who are you?”

Gina turned her eyes on Marlena, narrowing them when she saw the way John sheltered her. Looking at John, she cried, “Is this why you’ve left me here? I sacrificed everything for you! Everything!”

Stefano’s patience snapped. Lightning flashed again as he roared towards the man beside them, “Now! Take them now! I will take care of Gina.”

A rough hand wrapped around Marlena’s upper arm tugging her towards the pier, and with one last glance at the woman called Gina, John followed. He would not be separated from Marlena, and Stefano knew that. Gina screeched, rushing towards him. Her fingernails scraped the side of his cheek in her frenzied attempt to hold onto him. Her green eyes flashed, “You said you loved me!”

It was Hope. He knew her voice. Stefano might be able to change someone’s face, but there wasn’t a technology for that voice. A sick feeling settled in the pit of his stomach as he realized what his fate would be. Hope had no memory of who she was. It was highly likely that she was just as much a victim as he had been. Roman’s memories had never been his, but he’d lived Roman’s life for six years. Reaching up, he wiped his fingers across the stinging skin of his face. Lighting flashed again, and he saw a quick flush of red on his fingertips as the blood washed away in the rain.

Marlena’s foot slipped as she went to step onto the pier. John caught her, pulling her away from Stefano’s man. He pushed the man back, growling, “Don’t fucking touch her!”

Lifting his weapon, he pointed it at Marlena, “Move.”

Behind them they heard Gina’s shrill screams. Marlena started walking, and looked up at John, “It’s Hope. I know it is.”

“We can’t worry about that right now, Doc. My concern is you,” he shouted over the crashing water of the river. He didn’t have enough energy left in his body to try and be a hero for anyone else. He saw the speed boat tied to the end of the dock, and heard the distant whir of what he knew would be a helicopter out in the murky distance. True to Stefano DiMera fashion, a hasty retreat was planned well in advance.

They reached the boat, and Gina’s screams became silent. John glanced back, but he couldn’t see anything at all. What he heard was the sound of Stefano’s footfalls on the wooden pier. Marlena started to glance around, and John knew what she was thinking. Leaning close to her ear, he begged her, “Please, Doc! Please don’t do something crazy. I need you to stay with me here, okay? We have to be clear headed about this.”

“I’m so scared!” she cried.

“Do you trust me?” he asked her.

She stared at him for a long moment, hearing Stefano’s heavy steps come closer. “With my life.”

Over the roar of the storm, he told her, “Then we do what he says, stay together, and figure it out as we go, but I will not lose you! Do you understand me? I love you too much to lose you again!”

Rainwater trailed over her skin making her shiver with cold. She saw the desperation in John’s face. He was too weak to fight. He wouldn’t be able to swim. If she ran, or jumped in the river, she might survive, but that would leave John at Stefano’s mercy, or he would drown trying to follow her. He was the father of her children. She couldn’t leave him. She loved him too much. Nodding slowly, she wrapped her hand around his as he helped her into the boat. They had no choice. Whatever happened to them, they would be together through it all.

Stefano pulled a weapon out, aiming it at John. To Marlena he said, “I will not hesitate to kill him. You understand?” She eyed him with hatred but said nothing. Without bothering to look at his mercenary, he said, “Go to Celeste. Gina has been hurt. I want them both to return to Maison Blanche and wait until I summon them. I will not have a repeat of what happened tonight or someone will be punished!”

“Things not working out the way you’d hoped, huh, old man?” John asked with sarcasm.

Stefano held his hand out to Marlena, as if offering up some magnanimous gesture. John smacked his hand away. “Don’t you fucking touch her,” he growled over the pelting of the rain. 

Stefano gave him a feral smile, “John, right now you are less than a man. You are weak, and you are nearly broken. I was only offering Marlena assistance into the boat–”

“ –I don’t want your help!” Marlena hissed, stepping closer to John. Her hair was plastered to her cheeks with the wind, and the parka that was meant to keep her dry had done very little in that department. Her clothes were soaked through underneath and a chill was starting to set in the longer they were out in the elements. Even still, she wasn’t going to accept anything from Stefano. Gripping John’s hand even tighter she stepped back, and glanced up at him.

Stefano was again struck by something he didn’t understand. He saw the silent communication between them, and the trust that had been wary when Marlena had first arrived at Maison Blanche, had bloomed into something he didn’t fully grasp. He watched as John helped Marlena into the boat, and then clumsily climbed in after her. John’s arm wrapped around her, pulling her body close and he watched Stefano with hard eyes as he climbed in after them. 

John’s heart thundered in his chest. He had to protect her, and given his weakened state, he didn’t fully believe he had the capability to do so, but he would die trying. The boat started and without looking back, Stefano took off. The noise became almost unbearable to Marlena. The roar of the storm, the engine of the boat, and the increasing sound of helicopter blades somewhere in the darkness. It was all too much. She buried her face in John’s saturated neck, breathing in the scent of his wet hair, and she released the sobs she’d been holding in. All John could do was hold her tightly, and lean close to her ear, promising, “I will not leave you, Doc.”

By the time Stefano’s man reached the end of the pier, Celeste was gone. Off in the distance he saw Gina’s prone body in the rain, laying in a copse of rocks. Nearby several people surrounded her, and he could hear faintly the sound of emergency sirens in the distance. There was nothing he could do. Celeste was a coward, and he wasn’t going to fucking die in a storm with no back-up. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hours later, Bo sat beside a bed in a New Orlean’s hospital staring at the unconscious woman who had his dead wife’s face. Dark brown hair laid across the pillow underneath her head, and her face was riddled with cuts and bruises. What he wanted most was to see her eyes. Were they the same brilliant green of Hope’s eyes? Did he dare even wish for that? He’d been in shock for the better part of two hours, ever since he, Roman, and Abe had found her bleeding from the head near the river at Maison Blanche. 

He touched her hand softly, scared to believe that she might actually be his Hope. It wasn’t lost on him, how that sounded. From the moment they’d found her he’d been frantic. His mind had bombarded him with memories of his last moments with Hope. The way she’d sobbed as she told him she loved him, and the way she’d begged for someone to save her. The guilt nearly suffocated him, as he watched this woman lie there with Hope’s face, and he was too scared to wish. He was afraid the disappointment would kill him if she wasn’t Hope. Bo looked up when Roman entered the room, Abe trailing in behind him. 

“Stefano got away,” Roman said angrily. “He took them in a G-d damned boat, out to a helicopter, and they were gone before we could get to them. I saw them with binoculars from the shore. I don’t know why they both went with him. No struggle at all! Stefano is just one person! If one of them had jumped over, and swam away… I mean, he can’t control both of them!” Roman ran his fingers over his face in a frustrated manner, looking between Abe and Bo for some sort of validation, growing even more upset when he didn’t get it.

Bo looked at his older brother, and realized that he had absolutely no understanding of the bond between John and Marlena. Stefano would use them to control the other, and neither of them would fight back for fear of him hurting the other. Even after nearly three years back in Salem, Roman still didn’t seem to understand the dynamic. 

Bo sighed, “Stafano can control both of them. Roman, if Stefano threatened John, Marlena would do whatever he told her to do. The same is true for John. They weren’t being complacent, but they would never do anything that could potentially lead to suffering for the other.”

“She should have run,” Roman muttered. “John Black can handle himself well enough. I’ve seen it before. She should have run. Now she’s gone, and her children have lost their mother. If she stayed for John, I’m done.”

Bo almost laughed aloud. “Roman, I love you, but sometimes you’re a damned idiot. You already filed for a divorce from Marlena. Your stubborn ass wouldn’t forgive her. Remember? You already said you were done.” He couldn’t believe how obtuse his brother could be at times. Bo thought about Brady losing Isabella, saying, “You know, big brother, Brady will be missing his father, too. He’s already lost his mother.”

“I don’t give two flying fucks about John fucking G-d damned hero of Salem Black,” Roman said. “But I do care about Doc. If she stayed for John, without thinking about her children… that’s just selfish.”

Abe watched the interaction between Bo and Roman. As much as he didn’t want to add to Roman’s anger, he had to set the record straight. “I think you’re right Bo. Marlena wouldn’t fight Stefano. Not if she worried about how it would impact John, and if John had been well enough, he would have damned well fought to get them free. He would have done whatever he could physically do to save her and keep her safe.”

“Keep her safe?” Roman scoffed thinking about how the two of them had followed Stefano like sheep to the slaughter. 

“I think he’s injured. Something’s definitely not right, that’s for sure. If he’s injured, Marlena would never leave John,” Abe said. “I know you don’t want to hear that, given the situation, but she wouldn’t. John wouldn’t leave her either. So in that respect, Bo’s right.”

Bo turned back to the woman laying in bed, watching her sleep, and murmured, “I called Mike Horton. He should be arriving soon.” He stared at the woman in front of him for a moment. “I wasn’t sure what to do… and if she is Hope… I want him involved.” He was quiet for a few seconds, and then mostly to himself he said, “She looks just like Hope, but how is that even possible?”

Roman seemed to push Bo’s pain aside. “Bo, Hope died.” Gesturing to the woman in the bed he said, “This is another one of Stefano’s tricks. He made the whole family believe John was me for six years, why would you think this was anything else?”

“Maybe,” he replied slowly. “Maybe not.” He brushed the silken chestnut hair back from the woman’s face, still staring at her as if she might evaporate at any moment. “The doctor did some scans, and bloodwork. When Mike gets here, I want him to look everything over, because no matter who she is, I’m bringing her back to Salem.”

“Do you think Stefano was trying to take her too?” Abe asked him. “It can’t have been a coincidence to find her there.”

“I don’t know for sure, but I feel like he was. There was so much rain, and the storm was raging all around us. I think she slipped, and hit her head. Stefano cut his losses and ran, taking Marlena and John with him,” Bo said.

“I think you’re right, partner,” Abe said, walking over to the bed, staring down at the woman lying there. He’d known Hope for most of her life, and the woman lying in that bed was a carbon copy of her. Quietly he asked Bo, “How is Billie doing?”

“She’s a fucking mess, Abe. She’s convinced this is Hope, and I can understand that. She looks exactly like Hope, but I won’t know anything until Mike gets here. I can’t assume she is. I can’t get myself worked up, and then lose her all over again.”

Abe couldn’t even imagine how Bo was feeling. “Do you need anything, partner? A coffee, or some food maybe?”

“I could go for a coffee. I’ll run, and get some. I’ll grab a few sandwiches, too,” Roman said.

Abe watched Roman leave the room, and he said to Bo, “He doesn’t understand the bond between John and Marlena. I’m not sure he ever will. Has anyone ever told him about what happened in West Virginia? Or Stockholm… Orpheus? Any of it?”

“I don’t think so. We’ve tried, but he shuts us down everytime. Roman came home, and he just pushed it all away. Said he didn’t want to hear about it, and he wanted to focus on moving forward. You’re right Abe, he doesn’t understand. He’ll never understand something he doesn’t want to,” Bo replied, looking at the small hand he had gripped in his. “John and Marlena would die for each other, and as upset as I was about their affair, I wasn’t surprised by it. Not one bit. When Marlena came home, John was with Isabella, but we all knew… he would have chosen Marlena if Isabella hadn’t been pregnant with Brady. Their affair… that was only a matter of time, honestly. Marlena felt guilty about what Roman was put through with Stefano. I think she felt guilty for living. Marlena and John, they made the socially expected choices, but I’m not sure they would have in different circumstances.”

Abe continued to stand there, but he glanced at the door before he spoke. “John still loves her, you know.”

“I know, but where does that leave Kristen?” Bo asked him.

“I tried to talk to him about it once. He’s forcing himself to move on, because of the fallout over the affair. It’s the guilt, but I watch him when he’s around her. He will know where she is in any room. It’s not over,” Abe said quietly.

Bo continued to stare at the unconscious woman, but he asked Abe, “And Marlena?”

“She’s built walls so high around herself recently, but I think now… everything with Stefano. I don’t know, Bo. She and John tend to grow closer in times of crisis, and right now all they have is each other…” Abe’s voice trailed off, just as the door opened and Mike Horton came in.

Mike stopped cold in his tracks and his eyes locked on the woman in the bed. His heart started a slamming rhythm against his ribs. He’d looked over the woman’s chart, but he’d decided to hold his opinions until he saw her. Bo claiming there was a woman who looked identical to Hope had sounded far fetched, but what he saw was no mirage. Clearing his throat, he said, “Bo we need to talk.”

“You can talk with Abe here, Mike. It’s fine,” Bo told him.

Stepping closer, still in a state of shock, he said, “Her blood type matches Hope’s, but we would still need to do a DNA comparison with Doug, or maybe Shawn D, if you’re willing.”

“She’s O negative Mike. Shawn D is O negative, too. That’s not exactly a common blood type,” Bo told him. He sighed, understanding the look on Mike’s face. “But it’s not enough. I know.”

“It’s not common, but it’s not something that can definitively determine who she is either. This is too important, Bo. This could change lives. A DNA test is the only way to do that.” He was quiet for a moment, and then he said, “There’s another issue though. Her brain scan came back abnormal.”

Bo’s reaction was knee jerk. “Is she bleeding in her brain?”

“No… but there is a small mass in there. A foreign mass, something small… we can’t tell very much from the images, but Bo, I swear to G-d it looks like a microchip.”

“In her head?” Abe asked.

“We don’t know for sure, but it’s small, and square. There is something in there that shouldn’t be.” Mike was still trying to process that his cousin could be alive, and having a conversation about potential brain surgery was difficult.

“Take it out!” Bo said loudly, standing up, and causing the woman in the bed beside him to moan in her sleep. “Take the fucking thing out. If this is Hope, then she’s my wife. My wife! If this is Hope, then she’s been alive for the past four years. Stefano could have done anything to her. He could have put something in her head.” Bo saw a barely perceptible movement out of the corner of his eye, just as the door to the room closed. By the time he looked over, he knew it was Billie and she’d overheard everything. “Fuck!” he said in frustration. Turning back to Mike, he said, “When is the surgery?”

“We can’t do it here,” Mike told him. He was still reeling from his grandfather’s death. If this was Hope, it was a miracle none of them expected. “It’s too complicated. This… I think this is some ISA level stuff, Bo.” Glancing at Abe, Mike said, “We’re going to have to call someone who is better equipped to determine what this is.”

“I can call Chief Donovan,” Abe said. “He could be here in a few hours.”

“I think,” Mike said carefully, still reeling, “he should meet us in Salem, because if this is Hope, my grandma needs her now more than ever.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stefano watched Marlena as she slept curled up next to John on the sofa across the cabin of the plane. Something had definitively changed between them. Their dynamic was different. He’d realized it within moments of seeing them after he stupidly left them alone together. He’d noticed it on the pier, and then again on the boat. But it was once they’d boarded the plane and John had changed into a dry shirt, that Stefano had seen the red scratches across John’s nape and over his shoulders. He’d thought the fall out from their affair, combined with John’s weakened state, would prevent them from reconnecting. He’d obviously been wrong. Just the sight of John’s hand softly stroking her hair, and his arm wrapped protectively around her body, made him furious, but it also made him even more determined to separate them once they reached Petit Mustique. It would be simple, really. He would have Rolf reprogram John. He’d get his mercenary back, and Marlena would be confronted with the fact that the man she loved was gone forever. Then, and only then, would Celeste bring Gina to him, because the thing that would force Marlena to let John go would be watching him love another woman.

John saw Stefano watching him, with a growing sense of doom in the pit of his stomach. Stefano was going to separate them, as soon as he could. John knew that, and he feared in the deepest part of his soul that Stefano might succeed in making him forget who he was. Seeing Hope with no memory of who she was confirmed that. He might end up Stefano’s mercenary again. 

Riddled with fear, he spent the entirety of the plane ride going over memories of time he had spent with Marlena, committing every nuance to memory. Every touch. Every smell. Every emotion. He attempted to force himself to remember it all, even if it was buried deep in his subconscious. Moments he hadn’t allowed himself to think about since Mexico. Somehow, he would have to find his way back to her. John closed his eyes, and thought about their time together along the bank of the Gauley River in West Virginia, their marriage, waking up next to her, eating breakfast across from her, wrapping Christmas gifts together, and even the time he made love to her on Victor’s plane and the conference room table at Titan. All of it. Nothing was off limits, because he had to remember her. Even if it came to him in dreams, or flashes of memory. He would not forget her. As Marlena snuggled into his body more deeply, he looked at Stefano watching them, and he thought to himself, She’s mine.

Chapter 3 – Promises & Memories

At some point during the flight John had laid down next to Marlena, stretching his body alongside hers. His back was to Stefano, and his arm was around her hip with his face buried in her hair. If only for a few hours, he would pretend that she was his forever. He kissed her temple, and settled in when he heard Marlena whisper, “I’m so scared.”

He couldn’t lie to her. He was scared too. “Brady and Belle are being taken care of. I can imagine Caroline trying to get them to eat anything else besides macaroni and cheese right now.”

Marlena chuckled softly, “And Brady demanding chicken nuggets.”

“While Belle wants grilled cheese,” John said softly. He was quiet for a long time, before finally saying, “I’m scared too. I’ve been trying to play every memory that I have with you, from the moment I met you. I started with the hospital–”

“ –we met at Shenanigan’s,” she said with a soft laugh.

Henuzzled her cheek, “Actually we met at the hospital. I was brought in by a homeless woman in bandages, and I wasn’t speaking. I remember your voice, so soft… so kind. You asked me if–”

“ –if you’d allow the nurse to change your bandages,” she whispered. She rolled towards me, cupping my jaw with her soft palm. “I remember… but you never told me that before.”

“I hadn’t remembered until recently.” He covered her hand with his. “I’ve been remembering more, but it’s interspersed with my dreams. Sometimes I’m not sure what’s real or imagined, you know?”

“What else were you remembering?” she asked me.

“I remember asking you to shower with me at the cabin in Gauley Valley, I remember holding you in the cave… and kissing you by the river.” His voice got progressively quieter. He didn’t want Stefano to hear anything they were saying.

Something had changed between them. Stefano knew that much. Leaving them alone together had been a mistake. John may be weak, but that did not stop him from speaking. All Marlena needed were his words and she would fight back harder than she ever had. Stefano’s fist clenched in anger, but he would not show it. Showing his anger was a weakness they would never be privy to. Instead he needed to reassure himself that his plan to separate them was only a few hours away. He would then turn John over to Rolf, and Marlena would belong to him. It would only be a matter of time before she finally understood how much he loved her.

“I remember all of that.” Her fingers trailed over the front of my neck, as she told me, “I remember every moment with you.”

“You can’t let me forget.” He stared into her eyes. “Promise me, Doc. You’ll do everything you can to make me remember. Whatever you can do to jog my memories.”

Marlena considered how the mind worked. Touch. Scent. Taste. “So…”

“I know what you’re thinking,” he said. “Whatever you have to do. Whatever you are willing to do. Befriend me. Kiss me… make love to me. This body will know you.”

“John… I’m so scared. I know, I keep saying that, but I can’t have you taken away from me.”

“Stefano won’t do that… he won’t take me away physically. I know him well enough to know that. Once he takes my memory, he’ll want to use me to hurt you,” I told her. “He’ll want to devastate you, by showing how little I care. He’ll want me to be detached, aloof… he’ll want to use me, to prove to you that you have lost me forever. That way he thinks you might turn to him for comfort. But you won’t lose me, I promise you. Not with how much I love you. Don’t give up on me, baby. I’ll need you to remember that I am not lost. That somewhere in this body, I am waiting for you to find me again.”

Tears fell from her hazel eyes. “I promise.” She tried to hold back a sob, but she couldn’t. She choked and buried her face in his chest. Her fingers clenched in the fabric of his shirt.

He ran his hand over her spine, holding her close to him, and he whispered, “We need to rest. We have a few hours to go if my estimates are correct. Get some sleep, baby.”

“When we were married I would sometimes lay my head on your chest and fall asleep to the sound of your beating heart or the quiet movement of your body as you breathed.”

I rubbed my face against her hair. “When we were married,” I said softly, “I was the happiest man alive.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Three hours after Jane Doe was taken into surgery, Mike came out, and told Bo that the ISA surgeon had successfully removed what looked to be a computer ship from her head. Shane Donovan was going to have the chip looked at by a forensics team, since this type of situation was not something the New Orleans or Salem PD was equipped to deal with. 

Bo was in shock. A woman with Hope’s blood type, and a microchip in her head. A woman found at Maison Blanche as Stefano kidnapped John and Marlena. It was too much of a coincidence, and while Mike had told him not to get his hopes up, he was staring down at the woman in the hospital bed fully believing she could be his wife. He couldn’t get over how much she looked like Hope, and as much as he loved Billie, he wanted this woman to be Hope. Not just for him and Shawn D, but also for Alice, who’s just lost Tom. His fingers stroked her soft skin, and he was overcome with how much he needed her to be Hope. He’d never gotten over her, and while he loved Billie, Bo knew that there would never be a comparison for his love with Hope.

He must have fallen asleep, because he woke to a hand stroking over his head, and the voice of an angel, “Bo?”

That voice. He knew that voice. His head flew up rapidly, and he found himself looking into the greenest eyes he had ever known, “Hey.”

“Where am I?” she asked him in a rough voice. Her head was pounding and as she lifted her hand she felt the bandages wrapped around it.

Bo stared at her in awe. “You’re in the hospital. You just had surgery.”

She smiled softly, “How did you get to me?”

He was confused about what she was asking, so he said, “What do you mean? We found you near the pier at Maison Blanche.”

Her face got a confused look. She wasn’t sure what he was talking about, so she said, “I was in the cage… with Ernesto. How did you get me out?”

Bo’s heart started thrumming in his chest, and he felt pressure in his throat. She didn’t remember her accident on the pier or Maison Blanche. She was talking about the day with Ernesto Tozcanso – the day the whole family thought she died. His voice hitched as he said, “I didn’t. I couldn’t get you out.” He didn’t know what else to say, as the guilt from her death overwhelmed him. “We thought you’d died…” he found himself saying, realizing that tears were falling from his eyes. He needed so badly for the woman to be Hope.

She saw him crying, and reached out for him, “Bo, I’m here. You may have thought I died but I’m here. Don’t cry, please. You’re not a crier, Brady.”

She called him Brady, and that was what tipped him over the edge. He didn’t need DNA to prove what he already knew. Reaching for her face, he cupped her cheeks in his hands as he sobbed, “Oh, my G-d! Fancy Face… I thought I’d lost you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When Stefano’s plane started its descent, John felt the feeling of helplessness in the pit of his stomach begin to grow. Stefano would separate them immediately. He might do it as soon as their feet hit the tarmac. He probably had men waiting on the ground, and that scared the hell out of him. But Marlena was scared. He had to be strong for her. He couldn’t let her feel his fear. It had laid deep inside him for years, dormant. Not knowing who you are is a very empty feeling, but over the years he had made a life for himself. The thought of going back to that emptiness – a world where he didn’t know Marlena and he didn’t know safety – that’s where his real fear lay. 

Running his fingers gently across her cheek, he studied the way her eyelashes feathered against her skin. He wanted to memorize it all. John took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was to come. He couldn’t let her see his heartbreak. “Doc. Baby… hey we’re getting ready to land. I need you to wake up.”

Marlena’s eyes fluttered, and slowly opened to focus on his dark blue ones. It took her a moment to remember where she was. “Are we there?”

“Almost,” was his only response.

He watched her face as the fear of their separation slowly registered. Marlena gasped, “He’s going to take you…”

“He is, but, Doc, I promise… with my heart and my soul, I won’t forget you. Not completely,” he swore to her like an oath. “Every chance you get. Every opportunity you have… remind me. Please. If you see me, remind me. Talk about special times we spent together, those moments with really strong emotion. Tell me about West Virginia, talk about our affair, describe our daughter… anything. Anything. Kiss me. Touch me… beg me. It will reach me. I promise, baby… it will reach me. And whatever you do, please, please, don’t give up on me.”

She saw Stefano watching them from where he sat on the other side of the cabin. She tucked her lips near John’s ear, whispering, “I won’t, John. I swear, I won’t.” She ran her fingers through his beard. Her nose rubbed his, and her lips dragged across his jaw, as she gasped, “I love you. I never fell out of love with you, even when I knew I should have – even when I pushed you away. You filled my dreams every night. You filled my fantasies. I love you.”

“I love you too, Doc. I love you so fucking much. Don’t forget… don’t forget,” John whispered back, burying his face in her neck.

Stefano watched the scene with derision as Marlena’s arms looped around John’s neck, as she whispered her goodbyes. He couldn’t hear them, but it was evident that a sense of profound sadness, and desperation had washed over them. He sat there with a sadistic smile, pleased with himself. Soon enough, John would forget Marlena, and he would have his best mercenary back. Marlena would be lost without John. She’d be hurt by the cold indifference John would treat her with, and then… when Gina arrived, Marlena would be completely and utterly broken-hearted to see them together. She would turn to him for comfort, for love. Yes, Stefano was very pleased with himself.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Bo and Mike watched as the woman they now both believed was Hope slept in her hospital bed. Looking at Mike, Bo whispered, “What do we do? Do we tell her?”

Mike sighed, “I’m not sure why she doesn’t remember. The ISA has the microchip now, but it’s going to take a few days to get any type of report back. We still don’t have the DNA… I don’t know if she has amnesia from the head injury, or if the chip in her neck was blocking something.”

“What do doctors normally do?” Bo asked. “In amnesia cases?”

Mike sensed there was more to the question, “Every case is different, Bo. It depends. What are you really asking me?”

“Is she strong enough to be told the truth? Or will that destroy her?” Bo asked. “Because if Stefano had her for the last four years, and she starts to remember that… we don’t know what he put her through.” Stefano having her for four years left a lot of time unaccounted for. 

“I think when she wakes, we need to tell her… you and I need to tell her what year it is, and who had her,” Mike said. He considered what Bo was worried about. “The rest of it, only if she asks.”

The only way to limit her information would be to limit her visitors once they returned to Salem. “Can we limit visitors?”

“I think we should. Limit them to people she knows from before she disappeared. Faces she’s familiar with, at least until we know more.” Mike thought about it, “We can talk to them ahead of time, explain the situation. Especially Jennifer, because she can be excitable and accidentally say too much.”

Bo thought again about the DNA and the fingerprints. “Abe got her fingerprints earlier, before surgery. He’s going to have them compared to the ones on file at Salem PD, since they’re in her records from when she was a police officer. Those should be ready later today or tomorrow, because he put a rush on it.”

A soft knock sounded on the door, and Billie poked her head in looking for Bo, “Hey, could I speak to you?”

A weight settled in his belly. How was he even going to have the conversation about the woman he now believed was his wife. It was going to break Billie’s heart, and she’d been through so much. Bo took a deep breath. He couldn’t lie to her. “Sure. I actually need to talk to you, too.” He stood up, making his way towards the door. Glancing back at Mike he said, “I’ll be right back. If she wakes up, I’ll be right outside the door.”

The concern on Bo’s face told Billie something was wrong. She was scared to ask. Maybe she already knew. She was scared to find out that the woman inside that room, lying in that bed, was Hope, and her happily ever after would be nonexistent. Standing quietly outside, she waited, watching Bo.

He rubbed his hands over his exhausted face. She was sure if he’d slept at all last night. The night before that, they hadn’t slept much. If she closed her eyes she could still feel his hands on her body. 

Bo sighed, pulling her away from her thoughts. “She remembers things, Billie. She asked me how I was able to get her away from Ernesto. How would she know about that?”

Billie became immediately defensive. “So that’s it? You think she’s Hope, and we’re over?”

“We’re not 100% certain yet, but Mike and I think she might be. Nothing is definite until the fingerprints, the DNA, and the forensics report on the microchip come back,” Bo told her, trying to hold her back from the inevitable emotional fall she would end up taking. “But, if I’m being completely honest… I think it’s Hope lying in that bed.”

“I’ve got to go. Now,” she said, turning abruptly.

“Billie, wait!” Bo called after her, but she kept going until she’d disappeared around the corner. He knew he should go after her, say something to comfort her, but he couldn’t leave the woman lying in the next room. He couldn’t leave Hope… his wife.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Marlena gripped John’s hand tightly as they disembarked the plane. She could feel Stefano behind them, and there was another man with him that she hadn’t seen previously. She glanced over at John, feeling overwhelmed. She couldn’t lose him. She felt like she had to do something to stop Stefano from the separation he was determined would happen. Holding onto John’s hand, in a grip that defied her own strength, was her way of telling herself she could somehow keep him by her side, even though she knew she couldn’t. He squeezed her hand, leaning over to whisper, “I love you.”

She choked as she replied, “I love you so much.”

They were barely halfway down the staircase when John gasped, grabbing at his neck, he ripped a dart from his skin. It was too late. Marlena screamed, trying to hold onto him as he fell forward onto the tarmac. Marlena’s cries filled the air, as she ran and tripped down the stairs after him, knocking her ankle against the sharp metal in her descent. Once at the bottom, she cradled John’s head in her lap, checking for a pulse. She felt the wetness of blood on her fingers. She felt it seeping through her pants, and in that moment she hated Stefano DiMera more than she’d ever hated anyone in her life. Looking up at him, she screamed, “I hate you! I fucking hate you! If John dies… I swear to G-d, if he dies, I will kill you! I tried before but this time, I’ll make sure you’re dead!”

Stefano glanced around in a rage. The person who fired the tranquilizer was supposed to wait until John was on the tarmac. Turning to him, as the man came out from hiding, Stefano roared, “You imbecile! You idiot! I told you to wait until he was on the ground before firing the tranquilizer!”

The man backed up trying to make excuses but Stefano didn’t hear them. All he heard was Marlena sobbing over John. She screamed up at him, “Help John! Please, get him inside, so I can check him. Whatever you want with him, I know you don’t want him dead!”

Stefano was awed and bewildered by her show of strength. She was gorgeous. She was a valkyrie. She was his queen of the night. Looking at his other minions, he bellowed, “Take them inside!”

“Do you want us to separate them?” one of the men asked.

Looking towards where Marlena huddled with John on the ground, his head cradled in her lap, Stefano was beyond furious. There would be no separating Marlena from him, not in that condition. “What can he do now? Nothing. Leave him with her.” 

If he had a gun on him at that moment, he would have shot the man responsible for screwing up so badly. As it was, he would be dealt with later. He didn’t need people working for him who were incompetent fools. If he attempted to separate Marlena from John, she would make his life a living hell. He would have to wait until John was healthy, or at least not on death’s doorstep. He growled low in his chest. Separating them later would be so much more difficult.

Marlena refused to let go of John’s hand as they moved him inside the compound on a stretcher. One man took his shoulders and another held his feet, but Marlena held fast to his hand. Looking at Stefano walking on the other side, she said, with tears still in her voice, “I need medical supplies as soon as we get inside.”

“I have a doctor on staff who can look at him,” Stefano told her as graciously as he could, given the circumstances.

“Absolutely not,” she said, her voice seething with hatred. “No one on your staff will touch him. I will take care of him. I don’t trust you, or anyone who works for you.”

Chapter 4 – Where Evil Lives

Stefano had his henchmen take John’s unconscious body towards the house, and all the while Marlena refused to let go of his hand. She feared in her heart that the moment she lost contact with him, Stefano would whisk him away, and she’d never see him again. Scared though she was, she had made a promise to John. She intended to keep it. 

The home was a butter yellow color with a wide brick and stucco staircase that led up to a wrap around porch. Date palms were planted on either side, and the rich scent of frangipani hung in the early evening air. Marlena could tell that the house was quite large, and in any other situation it would be beautiful. Even the island itself, Petit Mustique, was ruggedly beautiful. Just from what she could see. The house was surrounded by mountains, but the compound itself was on a flat of land nestled in between.

“It is quite beautiful, is it not?” Stefano asked her.

Marlena shot him a look of disgust, and chose not to answer. She struggled to keep up with the pace. She was almost certain she’d sprained her ankle or at least bruised it rather badly in her efforts to get to John on the tarmac; however her ankle was the least of her concerns. They paused momentarily in the grand foyer as the men waited for Stefano’s directions. She glanced around. The windows were cast wide and the outside breeze was cooling on her skin. Ceiling fans ran in lazy circles above, and Marlena took note of the potted plants and large vases full of flowers. In truth it was beautiful, and she hated it all.

“Take him to Rolf’s clinic,” Stefano said dismissively with a wave of his hand.

“And the woman?” one of the men asked.

Marlena stared at Stefano with hate filled hazel eyes, and he said, “Allow her to treat him. You must stay with them at all times. When John has stabilized I want them locked in the Blake Suite. There will be a guard on that room at all times. Do you understand, Izan?”

“Yes,” Izan replied. He started walking towards the right and Marlena followed quietly. He could lead her straight to hell and she would follow him if it meant she would be with John. Down a long hallway they went until it opened up into another space connected to the house, but still almost separate. The door was open, and once inside Marlena saw a bed with mosquito netting, an exam table, and a myriad of medical devices – some she’d never seen before. Some were more familiar.

Sitting in front of a computer was an older man, thin with salt and pepper hair. He looked up with interested eyes that immediately became excited. “He’s here!” he cried, but then he seemed to deflate. Looking at Izan with an accusatory gaze, he asked, “What have you done?”

Izan and the other man hoisted John from the stretcher they’d placed on the floor onto the exam table. While the men were distracted Marlena edged her way towards a small table that held dental tools. She didn’t have time to consider why they would be there. Stefano said he had a doctor on staff so she assumed the doctor must do everything, including tooth extractions. Reaching over she grabbed the sharpest luxation tool she saw, and slipped it into her back pocket. 

Izan glanced over, barking, “Get away from that!” His accent was a thick mixture of Spanish and Caribbean. Marlena jumped, bumping the table on purpose to mess up the carefully laid out tools. Izan glared at her. “You made demands of Stefano DiMera, and he has allowed you in here. You stay where I can see you!”

Rolf was still lamenting about John’s unconscious state and receiving no answers from Izan or the other man who was eerily silent. Marlena told Rolf, “I need sterile water, sutures, needles, antiseptic wash, and bandages.”

“This is my clinic. Step away.” Rolf waved his hand at her as if he were shooing a fly.

Izan said, “Mr. DiMera has told her that she may stay, and be the one to treat John Black.”

Rolf seemed surprised. Stefano DiMera never conceded to anyone, but then he did have a special fascination with this woman. It had started years earlier after Stefano had taken Roman Brady. Her fierce determination and her intelligence had been the first thing that drew Stefano to her. He’d even kidnapped her newborn children in an attempt to lure her to him. He’d underestimated her, and ultimately he’d almost died for his transgression. She’d shot him in the rafters of the Salem Opera House. Rolf knew this because he was the one who’d saved Stefano’s life. At the time he’d worked for Petrov, but secretly pulling Stefano DiMera from the flames, and keeping him alive had ultimately been the best career choice Rolf had ever made. 

Without another word, Rolf began to gather the requested supplies. Marlena Evans was a beautiful woman, but Stefano had a problem with beautiful women. He coveted them. He wanted them to be ornaments. He admired their fierceness and their intelligence, but that lasted only a short time, because for Stefano it was all about the conquest. Ultimately, he destroyed them all. The beautiful psychiatrist would be no different. It was only a matter of time. 

Rolf laid out what Marlena would need, and then he reached for the antiseptic wash. “If you would allow me to assist–”

Marlena reached for the scissors fast as lightning, and then grabbed Rolf’s wrist, holding his hand down on the table. With the scissors poised above, she hissed, “You touch him, and I swear I will stab you.” Her words were low as she stared into his beady eyes. “I will stab you where you stand, and then Stefano will have no doctor. At least not one with fully functioning hands.”

Swallowing thickly, Rolf nodded, and stepped back. He wasn’t a hero. He was a scientist with sociopathic tendencies, and Marlena Evans wasn’t an adversary he wanted. He watched her as she cleaned the back of John’s skull and picked small pieces of dirt from the wound. He’d never seen stitches as small and neat on anyone before, but he was certain that John wouldn’t even have a scar when his injury healed. She was amazing, even Rolf could admit that, and he could also admit to himself that Marlena threatening to stab him had taken his own arrogance down a notch or two. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hope’s eyes opened, and she immediately began to look around the unfamiliar room for Bo. Her green eyes landed on Mike sitting beside her, “Where’s Bo?”

Bo was off trying to get Billie to stop panicking, although Mike was fairly certain things would not play out in Billie’s favor. “He had to take care of something. He’s coming right back.”

She studied her cousin for a moment. Mike had never been a good liar. Softly she said, “Something isn’t right. I can feel it, Mike. Bo’s keeping something from me… and you’re helping him. What is it?”

“We wanted to speak with you together, and we don’t want to alarm you,” Mike told her. “Now really isn’t the time.”

The sound of the door opening caused both of them to turn. She sighed heavily in relief when she saw Bo. She didn’t fully understand why she was feeling so much anxiety, but she felt it all over. In every muscle and every cell of her body, as if she should know something, but there were blanks – empty spots in her mind that she was having trouble with. She couldn’t explain it, so she needed them to explain it to her. Mike and Bo were the people she trusted the most in the world, besides her Gram. 

“I know something is wrong. It doesn’t feel right in my mind… in my body, and I can’t understand why,” she said looking at Bo.

Bo pulled another stool up on the opposite side of her bed so that he was facing Mike. They were going to have to tell her something. He reached for her hand. “Hey, Fancy Face.”

She couldn’t help but smile back. She felt like everything about him was new again, but why? 

“We’re going to tell you some things, but I don’t want to upset you too much. You just had surgery, so we need you to stay calm.” He gave her a stern look, and then smiled widely. “We gotta keep that blood pressure down, princess.”

She knew it. Something was off, slowly she said, “Okay.”

“You have amnesia. We’re not sure of the cause right now. It could be from the head injury. We’re not sure, but because of that… you’ve lost some time,” Bo said carefully.

“I’ve lost some time?” She looked at Mike, asking him, “How much time?”

“About four years,” Mike said as gently as he could.

Hope’s throat tightened, and she choked on her next words, “Four years? Shawn D is seven?”

“He’s seven,” Bo repeated. He’d been raising their son alone for the last four years. It had been the hardest four years of his life. Not only because he’d been a single father, but because every milestone, every loose tooth, and every inch their son grew came with sadness because Hope wasn’t there.

Hope asked, so softly they could barely hear her, “Where – where have I been for the last four years? Why don’t I remember?”

“That’s where things start to get complicated.” Mike nodded at Bo, giving him permission to tell her the rest of what they had agreed upon.

“We found you in New Orleans, at an old plantation house called Maison Blanche… it belongs to Stefano DiMera.” Bo rubbed his thumb over the top of Hope’s hand. “He was leaving during a storm. He was panicking and trying to get away quickly. He had you, John, and Marlena. We’re not sure exactly how it happened, but you must have fallen, and hit your head, so he left you behind. We found you unconscious in a copse of rocks near his private pier.”

Hope’s forehead wrinkled and she got a look of confusion. “Marlena? Bo, she’s dead. And who’s John?”

Bo saw Mike’s skin pale, and then he realized his mistake. He started to panic a little. “Shit! Mike, what do I say?” Bo asked helplessly. “I said too much.”

Mike watched Bo flounder about how to proceed, and he saw the confusion on Hope’s face, so he took over the conversation. “What you need to know right now is that Marlena is alive as well. We thought you died four years ago. We also believed that Marlena was dead for five years. She returned to us in 1991. Stefano had her too. The same way he had you, and I guess, since we’ve gone this direction, you should know that Roman is alive as well.”

She found herself getting more disoriented. “I know Roman is alive, Mike! Who is John?”

“John is… John Black. He wasn’t Roman. He isn’t Roman, because Roman… the one you remember from when you were young, he’s back.” Mike struggled to tell her all of this, because saying it out loud sounded so far-fetched, and yet it was the truth. “John Black… you knew him.”

She sat quietly for a moment, processing what Mike had told her. “So John… when we went to Gauley Valley–”

“ –that wasn’t Roman,” Bo said softly, afraid to say more. “Although we thought he was for six years.”

Hope’s next words were slow and careful. “And Stefano has him, John Black, and Marlena right now?”

“Yes,” he said again.

“Stefano had me? I’ve lost four years. Will I… will I get it back? Will I eventually remember where I was or what I was doing during that time?” She was starting to feel sick. Her son was seven years old. The last time she’d seen him he wasn’t much more than a toddler. He’d be in first grade now.

Mike saw the apprehension on her face, as he told her, “We don’t know. We hope so. With amnesia the memories often do return, but at their own pace. We can’t rush it, and we certainly can’t try to force it.”

“I know there’s more, Bo. I know there is,” she said, watching his face carefully. “What aren’t you telling me?”

His voice was soft and gentle, “Look, I don’t want to overwhelm you, Fancy Face. You don’t have to know everything right now.”

“No,” she said firmly. “No. I want to know. What are you keeping from me, Bo Brady?”

Mike sighed deeply. Whether they had DNA or fingerprints to prove it, he knew that the stubborn headed woman in the bed next to him was his cousin. Her voice, the way she looked at Bo, and the demanding personality proved it. It was all he needed to be certain. “When we found you, because of your head injury, a scan was done… there was an unidentified mass in your skull. You were stabilized in New Orleans, and then the ISA was brought in on the case. An ISA surgeon, with my oversight, did the surgery to remove the mass from the base of your skull.”

This was almost too fantastical. Hope could barely believe what they were telling her. “What was it?”

“We don’t know for sure, but… it, well, it looked like a computer chip,” Bo said.

She felt the tears welling in her eyes. What could she even do? “Where is it now?”

“The ISA has it. Their forensics team is looking at it.” Bo saw her confusion. “They think it might be the thing responsible for your memory loss.”

Hope tried to calm her nervous system down. Slow deep breaths. She could hear the beeping of the blood pressure machine attached to her arm. Taking a deep inhale, she said, “So, let me get this straight. I’ve been presumed dead for four years. You believe that Stefano DiMera had me the entire time. Marlena is alive, Roman is John again, real Roman is also alive, and I had a G-ddamned computer chip in my head? Does that about sum it up?”

Bo smirked, appreciating her attempt at humor. “Yeah.”

“But there’s more?” she asked.

“It’s not important right now,” Mike said, standing up. He brushed his hands over his pants, trying to rid them of the nervous sweat that coated his palms. “You need your rest.”

Bo watched Mike tell Hope he would check on her after he did his hospital rounds, and then Mike left the room quietly. Bo’s eyes went warily back to Hope. She wasn’t done. She wouldn’t be done until she had all of the answers, and now he was alone with her. She turned those fierce green eyes on him, and she said, “Now, you’re going to tell me the rest. Don’t you lie to me, Bo Brady. I want all of it. All. Of. It.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The room was silent and dark when John regained consciousness. He wasn’t sure where he was. He could hear the surf of the ocean, and he saw the silvery moonlight cast across the walls through the haze of the mosquito netting. There was the sweet scent of flowers in the air, but his head was pounding, and his mouth felt exceedingly dry. It took him several moments to remember the events of the day before, but it all came back to him. Maison Blanche. The storm. The trip via plane to Petit Mustique.

Marlena was with him. He could smell her soft fragrance, and feel the warmth of her against him. He tried to turn his head towards her, but everything hurt. A sudden flash of himself tearing a dart from the flesh of his own neck came to him, and he realized he’d fallen down the metal stairs from the plane to the tarmac. That was why he felt like he’d been hit by a Mack truck. Attempting to roll over, another sharp pain in his head caused him to moan deep in his chest.

“John?” Marlena mumbled sleep roughened voice, immediately awake. “Honey, are you okay?”

“Yeah, Doc, I’m okay. Just a little sore,” he said. He was more than a little sore, but he wasn’t sure how long he’d been unconscious and what she’d gone through in that time, so he would keep his pain level to himself for the time being. He tried to swallow. “Is there any water?”

“Hold on. Hold on. Let me get it,” she whispered, sliding off the other side of the bed. “I’ll get it, baby.” She rounded the bed quickly, and John noticed she was wearing the top half of a pair of mens satin pajamas. Glancing down he noticed he was wearing the bottoms.

Marlena gently lifted his head, and assisted him with drinking down the whole glass. Stefano should have separated them by now, so something must have happened that altered the plan. “What happened? I was sure that old bastard was going to keep us apart.”

Marlena climbed back into the bed beside him, pulling the soft cotton coverlet back over them. “He had someone tranquilize you, but they didn’t follow orders. They were supposed to wait until you were on the tarmac. They didn’t, so you fell about fifteen feet. I gave you eighteen stitches on the back of your head, so please be careful.”

John gingerly lifted his hand and felt around his bandaged head. Wryly, he asked her, “Were all of these bandages really necessary, Doc?”

“Yes, they were necessary, John! You were bleeding quite a lot,” she said sheepishly. “I wanted to be sure… and I was –I was scared about infection.”

Reaching out to lightly touch her arm, John whispered, “I know… and I understand. That was probably incredibly frightening for you, but what I don’t understand is if Stefano’s plan was to separate us, why am I still with you?”

Marlena was quiet for a moment, and then said quietly, “I threatened to kill him if you died, and I said this time I’d make sure he was dead. I guess he didn’t want to risk it.”

“Doc, your righteous wrath could move mountains. Come closer and cuddle with me,” he said, reaching for her.

She scooted closer, curling into John’s warmth. “I miss Belle and Brady.”

“I miss them too, Doc. We’re going to get back to them. I swear it,” he murmured into her hair. “I just want to hold you, and spend time with you while I can.”

“I was worried. You hadn’t regained consciousness, but now that you have, you need your rest. Go back to sleep, honey.”

Her scent was intoxicating. His shoulder ached, but still he wrapped his arm around her lithe body and pulled her closer. “I can’t sleep when I don’t know how much time we have left together. Just spend this time with me, and talk.”

Marlena was silent for a while, before she said what was on her mind. “No one looked for us,” she whispered against his chest. She had been thinking about it for hours. Stefano was able to kidnap them by boat and helicopter, and it was as if no one even knew. “Roman believes I ran away with you. I don’t think anyone is going to look for us… at least not right away.”

“Doc, Roman is a fool! If he knew you, really knew you, he’d know that’s not true. You would never leave your children willingly. Never. Abe knows that, and Bo knows that. So, even if Roman doesn’t want to look for us, they will,” John said, smoothing his hand along her back. “They will look for us. It’s only a matter of time, baby.”

The gentle sounds of frogs and crickets came in through the open windows with the soft breeze, and the mosquito net around the bed fluttered. Marlena felt as if she and John were hidden from the world, even though they weren’t. There were cameras in every corner of the room, although the netting around the bed would make any garnered footage hazy. After several minutes of silence, she whispered, “Do you think they found her and Celeste? You know, the woman who looked like Hope?”

“I’m almost certain of it.” John kissed Marlena’s soft hair. “And I also think, even though she had no memory of us at all… that was Hope.”

“Really?”

“Yes. If Stefano was able to put me in Salem and convince me, and everyone in my life, that I was Roman Brady, he could damn sure take someone from Salem and do it again.”

Marlena thought of the Horton and Brady families. Her leg slid over John’s, and she ran her soft hand over his chest distractedly. “That’s going to be so hard for Bo… and, oh, Shawn D!”

“It’s going to be hard. Bo’s about to go through something similar to what we went through,” John told her. Thinking in any depth about the last few years was hard on John. Most of the time he tried not to dwell on it, simply because it was too painful.

“When I came home?” she asked softly.

“I was definitely conflicted… but then you also struggled when Roman came back.” John closed his eyes, trying to focus on the way her body felt against his. Soft. Curvy. Warm. Pliable.

Marlena said nothing for a long while, thinking about the struggles she went through emotionally that first year after Roman’s return. Saying goodbye to John in Mexico had been heartbreaking. It was the moment she knew they would never be together again. She finally whispered, “I wish you had chosen me.”

He knew what she was referring to immediately. “I’m sorry, Doc. I’m so sorry. I lost you twice, you know. Did I ever tell you that? Once when Orpheus put the bomb in the house, and again later…”

She’d never heard that before, and there was so much of that time that she still couldn’t recall. “What?”

“Yeah, and then, a few months after the house was bombed, the evil bastard showed me a video of you with his children to taunt me… to torture me. Maybe both. I was able to track you down, but I think he planned it that way. He wanted to give me that hope of finding you and then rip you away from me again. I made it to the airport in time to see your plane take off, and the one lone air traffic controller on that fucking island said it was too late. I couldn’t stop the plane. Less than a minute later there was the mayday call. I could hear your terrified screams in the background, and my world collapsed for a second time. I’d been so sure I would find you. So fucking sure.” His lips trailed across her temple, and his breath bathed her skin. “So sure that I would get to you, but I failed.” 

Marlena heard the roughness in his voice, and she reached up to touch his face. She felt the wetness on her fingers, and knew he was crying. 

John whispered, “And when you came back, walking out of the fog that night on Pier 29 my heart stopped. For a split second, I had no heartbeat and I couldn’t breathe. I was convinced you were a figment of my imagination at first.”

He was telling her that it was almost too painful to believe she wouldn’t be taken from him again. “I think I understand.”

John’s voice cracked with emotion as he asked her, “Do you, Doc? Because I don’t. I let my fear get in the way. My love for you almost broke me. Literally. I had Carrie and the twins, and because of them I was forced to go on. And suddenly having you back in my life after five years was more than I could have ever hoped for, but my real fear… the fear that kept me frozen and awake at night was the thought of loving you again as much as I had before.” Marlena was quiet, and John hoped with all of his heart that she would understand what he was trying to say. “I loved Isabella. I did. And when she died, it hurt. I won’t lie. But loving someone as much as I had loved you, Doc? I wasn’t going to ever let that happen again… and then you were there, on the pier, calling my name. Beautiful. Angelic. Tasting the way I remembered, and breaking my heart all over again.”

Marlena couldn’t stop her next words, “I wanted you to want me…”

“Fuck, Doc, when you came home you were all I wanted, and that scared the hell out of me. Do you remember your first night home? It took everything in me to keep my hands off you. You’d found that pink robe, and when I looked at you… it was as if those five years of separation had never happened. I didn’t understand it. I forced myself to walk away, when all I wanted to do was shove you against the nearest wall and bury myself in you. I kept the distance out of fear, but know this… please know this, Doc, it was always you. I decided in Miami, on the beach that night… I decided that without you, my life would never be whole… and I was too fucking late.”

“Because Roman came back?” she whispered.

“Roman was there, Isabella was pregnant… and you, you seemed so torn. So confused, and I saw the pain in your eyes, baby. You didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to make it harder on you. I would do anything to spare you unnecessary pain. So… I made a choice… to take away the pain I saw in your eyes. To make it easier for you. I gave you up, and walked away, but I dreamed of you constantly. And after we went home to Salem… every time you entered a damned room, Doc, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I could smell you, often before I even laid eyes on you.” He groaned slightly, rolling over to see her eyes. “For a while, Isabella wanted to leave, and move to Europe, but I refused. You weren’t mine anymore. The kids weren’t mine anymore, but I wouldn’t leave my family. I needed to see you, even when seeing you hurt. Eventually she accepted it, and by the time she died, she was actually grateful for it.”

“She was?”

“I think she knew, honestly. She knew we would find our way back to each other,” John whispered, running his fingertips gently over her cheeks.

Marlena whispered into the dim light, “I would dream of you. I’d wake up beside Roman feeling so guilty… calling his name but it was your face. Always your face.”

“I dreamt of you too. Once I dreamt that Orpheus had shot you in Stockholm, and I called out for you in my sleep. I woke up in a cold sweat thinking I’d lost you again, and Isabella, she just held me. The fact that she knew I still loved you, and she accepted it… I think that made my guilt worse sometimes.”

Marlena was quiet for several beats, then she said, “Roman was jealous. He couldn’t handle that I still cared for you in any way… even as friends, although it was always more. He was angry that Carrie was raised by you, that she had expectations for her life that he had never agreed to. He was angry that the twins mourned losing you, and I was so depressed that I disappeared inside myself for a while. You had always allowed me to be strong, and make my own choices. We were a team. Roman… he wants me to be biddable. Maybe I was once, but at some point I changed, and I think that was because of you. I think to myself that you loved my fire, and Roman simply wants to put it out… I was unhappy. I felt ignored, unappreciated… I wanted to be cared for the way you had cared for me… and then we had an affair.”

John leaned forward, kissing her gently, and he whispered against her soft mouth, “You’re fucking amazing.” His hand smoothed over her hip, squeezing her thigh as he moved lower. Her warm curves under his palm caused a stirring deep in his body. It was a familiar ache.

Marlena arched into his tender touch. “You always made me feel amazing… every time we were together, John. Whether I ran into you at the pub, or Salem Place, I would leave those interactions feeling so full, and then I’d beat myself up emotionally afterwards, because I couldn’t stop myself from wanting more time with you. You make me feel amazing… you make me feel like you can’t live without me.”

He kissed her again, whispering against her mouth, “I can’t. No matter what happens… I need you in my life, Doc.”

“I need you too, John. Always,” she whispered, snuggling closer to him, while his hands roamed over her in soft caresses. He wrapped his fingers around her thigh, pulling her leg high over his. 

Sliding his finger under the elastic at the leg of her panties he tugged it slightly. “You’re wearing too many clothes.” His finger slipped underneath the cotton, smoothing against her soft skin.

Marlena chuckled softly, batting his hand away. “John, stop. You have a concussion.”

“I want you,” he groaned, struggling to get her panties down over her hip.

“John, we can’t,” she said, barely above a whisper. “We can’t. You need to sleep, and no physical exertion. Doctor’s orders.”

John groaned, refusing to release his hold on her underwear. “I need you. You can ride me, Doc. Please,” he said, as he pulled her panties lower. “Ride me. I need you so bad.”

Marlena wanted him. She couldn’t deny that. Even as she told him no, moisture was gathering in her center, and the ache of desire had already begun. As much as she had been adamant that they wouldn’t make love, John asking her to ride him set off something deep inside her. When John talked dirty, Marlena generally did what he said. He knew that. She lifted herself up on her elbow and watched as he rolled onto his back. Those deep indigo eyes stared up at her, pleading and riveted on her. She started to unbutton her pajama top. “You have to lie there,” she said softly.

His hips bucked, and he said roughly, “I will. Fuck. I will. I promise.” His abdomen rippled, and his body shivered when her fingers moved under the waistband of his satin bottoms pulling them down over his hips as he gently rolled from side to side. The cool air on his cock, and Marlena licking her lips, caused him to bob hard against his stomach, making Marlena smile wickedly. John’s fingers twisted in the cotton of her panties. “Doc, get these damned things off.”

She couldn’t help laughing as she kicked them off. She then ran her finger down the center of his chest, and swirled it around his navel, saying, “John, when you get worked up, your promises are worthless.”

He was about to respond, when her small hand wrapped around his throbbing length, pumping up and down a few times. She wiped the fluid dripping from his tip along his shaft. John’s body arched up, and his free hand gripped the blanket covering them. “G-d! Doc, please!”

Throwing the coverlet aside, Marlena slid John’s bottoms over his feet and tossed them to the side of the bed. Leaning forward, she licked along his length once, allowing the taste of his musk to fill her mouth. With a soft mewl of pleasure, she told him, “I haven’t tasted you in so long.”

“I love you,” he moaned. She was gorgeous in the moonlight. Her hair shone silver, and her breasts peaked. If his body didn’t ache so much from his fall he would have torn her shirt from her shoulders already. Instead he commanded, “Take the shirt off, baby.”

“I love you,” she said softly, shrugging it from her body. He watched it slither along her creamy skin, and then she climbed over his hips, settling her weight against his hard cock.

The heat of her swollen and wet pussy enveloped him like liquid fire. John’s body arched involuntarily, and his head fell back. “Inside,” he growled. “Fuck, Doc! I need to be inside you.”

Marlena teasingly rolled her hips, allowing her wetness to cover him. She leaned over him, her swaying breasts inches from his waiting mouth. With her hands on his shoulders she leaned forward, sliding along his cock. “Are you rushing me, John?”

“Yes! Fuck, yes. I’m rushing you!” he said breathlessly, pushing up towards her heat.

She pushed him back onto the bed, allowing her nipple to graze across his lips. When his tongue darted out, his lips pulled her flesh into his greedy mouth, sucking deeply, Marlena began to feel her own sense of urgency. He sucked her like a babe at the breast, and the pull went straight to her sex. Rolling her hips one more time, she lifted herself off of him, and looked into his eyes. “You want me to ride you, John?”

His voice was rough with arousal, “Yes. So fucking hard.”

Reaching for the headboard behind his head, Marlena lowered herself onto his length while John held his cock steady. She was halfway down, when John let go, and grabbed her hips stilling her. He pushed up suddenly, moaning out loud. “Oh, G-d damn!”

Pleasure shot through her, rendering her temporarily mute. She was stretched, so full. She could feel the pulse of him inside her. Staring into his deep blue eyes, she said with a gasp, “Someone’s impatient.” 

Before John could answer, Marlena rolled her hips, seating him deeper inside her. Using the headboard to brace herself, she began to slowly lift herself along his length, but John couldn’t stand it. There was no chance that he would be able to tolerate a slow and languorous love making session. His recounting of her death, and his fear of loving her combined with the knowledge that their time together was short was too much for him. Reaching for her hips, his fingers dug into her soft flesh, while he pushed as deep as he could. He saw stars and everything went black for a moment. Pulling her down so that her weight rested against him, he sighed at the sensation of her pushing him into the mattress. John wrapped his arms around her shoulders with a soft sob. He needed that memory to hold onto. He wanted to burn it into his mind like a fucking branding scar. They moved as one, while John licked along her neck, and bit at the skin on her shoulder. He kissed her, and sucked along her jaw. He whispered to her filthy words, and words of love – lifting her higher and higher.

Marlena started to gasp and pant, linking her arms behind his neck. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

John held her close, pushing into her deeply one last time. “I love you, Doc. I love you, too.”

Chapter 5 – The Many Faces of Treachery

The security footage from John and Marlena’s room played for the third time. Stefano was enraged, and slightly aroused. He would not be made a fool of in his own home! The images were hazy, and the moonlight only a small glance into what was happening behind the mosquito netting, but it was clear from the movement of their bodies and the soft words that they spoke to each other that they were making love. Stefano wanted to rage or destroy something, but he had Izan and Käwika standing behind him waiting for their directives. 

Taking a deep breath, he turned to face them. “If John Black is well enough to make love to Marlena, then he is well enough for the next phase in my plan. Remove him from her room and take him to Rolf.” He glanced at the other security monitor, noticing that John and Marlena still slept. “Do it now before they wake and the birds outside start their blasted screeching.” He gave Izan a stern look, “I do not want either of them harmed. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.” Izan gave him a short nod, and turned to leave the room. Käwika followed closely behind. 

Stefano’s eyes narrowed. Käwika was quiet. He barely spoke, but his son Peter had assured him that the man had been heavily vetted before sending him to Petit Mustique. If any problems arose, Peter would hear about it. Allowing his son to take over some of the inner workings of his organization was a gamble, and Stefano didn’t like gambles. He had no choice. If the DiMera legacy was going to live on, he had to allow Peter in. It certainly wouldn’t be run by Tony.

For his part, Käwika knew his role. Say little, follow orders, and report everything back to the ISA. He wasn’t an idiot. He’d been training for years to infiltrate the DiMera Organization. He’d dreamed of working for the ISA since he’d been a young child living in Nānākuli, where the beaches were gorgeous, and the Hawaiian people struggled to keep their culture alive. He’d been the child pretending to be a secret agent as he dove into the bluest ocean waves only to surface like he was a combination of James Bond and MacGyver. He followed Izan wordlessly, waiting for his next directive. 

Izan stepped into a small service entryway used by staff on the third floor. Making his way down the dimly lit corridor, he glanced back at Käwika. The man was the quiet type, not that Izan was much of a talker himself. “It is about time you learn the passageways within the structure. All DiMera properties have hidden pathways underneath them as well as within the walls. They are not obvious from the outside, and they are not in the architectural floor plans. Most of them are no more than a meter and a half wide, and therefore undetectable unless someone is specifically checking the measurements.”

“Are they all through the house?” Käwika asked.

“They are. There is no map and they are confusing. You must learn the codes to remember them. We enter here,” Izan gestured at the wall, which seemed to be nothing at first, until he reached behind a sconce and pressed a button. The wall slid open, leaving a dark gaping entryway in front of them. “To reach the Blake Suite from here, it is right, left, right, left and then the third lamp… and press the button.”

Käwika repeated the instructions to himself. Third floor service corridor. Press the button behind the wall sconce. Right, left, right, left, and then the third lamp. He nodded at Izan, and then followed him inside the bowels of the yellow plantation house.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The sun was barely over the horizon when Abe found Bo in the hospital cafeteria. He looked exhausted, but that wasn’t surprising. He obviously hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before. Abe rolled his shoulders. He’d lived a pretty normal life until he’d moved to Salem back in 1981. Since then, nothing about his life had been ordinary. Salem was a place where people disappeared only to reappear years later. Kidnappings were commonplace, as were murders and poisonings. He could have a case where three prisms could bring immortality, and his neighbor might be buried alive. In that vein, he thought Hope Brady’s sudden reappearance should have eventually been expected, and yet the people around him seemed dumbfounded.

Bo was hunched over a table, stirring cream and sugar into his coffee when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Abe said, “How you doing, buddy?”

With a deep sigh, Bo stared into his cardboard cup as he said, “I never understood what Marlena, John, and Roman went through, you know? I mean, I did… but not really. I feel so helpless, and I want – G-d, Abe, I’m praying that it’s Hope in that bed, but what if I’m wrong? What if it’s not her, and it’s just my desperation and my longing to have her back that’s convincing me it is? I don’t trust myself. I need those DNA results Abe, because everything is hinged on that.” He’d already convinced himself that Hope had returned, but until he had definitive, scientific proof, he couldn’t tell Alice or Shawn D. He wouldn’t destroy them like that if he was wrong, especially since they’d lost Tom so recently.

Abe took the seat across from Bo at the small wooden table. The polyurethane was peeling on the corners, and the teal and white tile inlay on the top had chipped. Those tables had been there as long as he could remember. He pulled a folded piece of paper from the inside pocket of his jacket. “I have the fingerprint report right here, although I haven’t read it. I figured you’d want to do that yourself. The DNA was rushed, so it should be ready later today.”

Bo reached for it as Abe slid it over to him. Scanning over it quickly, he released another sigh. It was Hope. He was relieved. He was happy. He hadn’t been sure how he would feel about it, but he was pleased. Looking at Abe with a small smile, Bo whispered, “It’s a match, Abe. According to the fingerprint report, she’s Hope.” He was quiet for a moment, and then he continued, “I know that complicates things, but it fills a hole I’ve had inside me for the last four years. She’s here, Abe, and she’s alive.”

Abe was still unsure. He’d been dealing with Stefano DiMera for years. If he could take Roman’s memories and implant them in someone else, was it possible to change someone’s fingerprints to match a stranger? Was it possible to do plastic surgery to make someone look identical to Hope? He took a deep breath. “Bo, we’ve still got to wait on the DNA to know for sure—”

” –Abe! It’s fingerprints! Even identical twins don’t have the same fingerprints,” Bo whispered loudly, leaning forward with excitement. “It’s Hope laying in that bed on the third floor, man. You know it.” 

Abe smirked, but didn’t reply. He wanted to believe that as much as Bo did. 

Bo pitched his voice even lower, “I’ll wait for the DNA report, but that’s Hope down there… my Hope.”

Billie listened around the corner with tear filled eyes. After a life filled with trauma and pain, she’d really believed that Bo Brady was going to be her happily ever after. But she heard the emotion in Bo’s voice, and she knew it was over. He would drag it out until the DNA came back, trying not to hurt her, but it was already over. She wiped at her cheeks, brushing the tears away, and she straightened her shoulders. She could get through this. She was Billie Reed, and Billie Reed wouldn’t let this break her. She’d been offered a job in Paris with Wilhemina. It was only because Lucas hated her and wanted her out of Salem, but it didn’t matter. She was going to take the position, because staying in Salem, and watching Bo build his life with Hope and Shawn D, would be too painful for her heart to bear.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Izan stepped through the panel into the Blake Suite on stealthy feet making no sound. He held the syringe in his hand, having already removed the cap while in the passageway. Through the mosquito netting he could see John Black asleep. Marlena curled against him on his left side, her hand on his chest. They had to move fast. He motioned Käwika to the other side of the bed. As soon as he gave the signal, Käwika would pull Marlena away and Izan would sedate John. It had to be done quickly and without hesitation. Hesitation could get them killed or seriously maimed. 

Marlena was separated from John suddenly, and violently, as they slept with the rising sun. She woke to his muffled yell, as she was dragged ruthlessly from the bed. Strong arms wrapped around her naked body holding her tight as Izan stabbed a drug filled syringe into John’s neck. He roared and tried to fight, but it was over before it had begun. 

She screamed, fighting to get out of the grasp of the man who held her. She kicked, and she threw her head back as her shrill cries filled the room, but it was too late. John was pulled from the bed and before he dropped to the floor, he cried, “I love you, Doc!” 

“If you fight me,” a rough voice whispered in her ear, “I will be forced to sedate you as well.”

“I hate you!” she hissed. “He’s injured! Can’t you see that?”

Stefano unlocked the door to the Blake Suite, and stood in the doorway casually watching the scene unfold. Marlena’s creamy skin was exposed for everyone’s eyes, and her breasts were trapped in Käwika’s crushing grip. His eyes trailed over her long legs, pausing briefly at the thatch of hair between her legs. “Release her!” he roared. “Marlena, cover your nudity.”

Käwika let her go, watching as she stumbled towards the bed, and snatched a thin blanket from it. He looked away. This wasn’t the part of being a secret agent that he’d ever imagined as a child – hurting other people – but he couldn’t break cover. He’d worked too hard, and the ISA had worked too hard, to bring down the DiMera Organization. When Marlena was covered, he glanced back with controlled unfeeling eyes.

Marlena fell to the floor, sobbing in agonizing grief as Izan dragged John towards the door. Käwika had never seen someone in so much pain. She looked up at Stefano, screaming as loud as she could, “Get out! Get out! You got what you wanted! You’ve broken my heart!”

Stefano entered the room, allowing Izan to exit, and he said to her with unfeeling words, “It is only a matter of time, Marlena. You will come to love me. You will, and then you shall be my Queen.”

“I’ll fucking kill you in your sleep,” she hissed. “I will never love you.”

“In a week’s time, John Black won’t even remember you, Marlena.” Stefano turned to walk out of the room, but he stopped when he saw Marlena stand up in his periphery.

Käwika watched in silent admiration as she straightened her shoulders, and stared at Stefano’s back defiantly. “John will remember me. He promised… and I promised him. He will remember our love.”

Stefano laughed, a deep reverberating sound as he faced her. “My dear, Marlena. I will watch him break your heart, and then I will be the man to put it back together.”

“Get out,” she hissed.

“Marlena, this is my home. I go where I please,” he replied.

She wiped furiously at the tears that covered her face. “Where are you taking John? What are you doing with him?”

“John will be alive, and well. He will not be hurt. You see, I have need of him for a special project, and as soon as I get Gina here, all will be well.” Stefano gave her a smile that was not reassuring, although she was sure he meant it to be.

“I hate you.” She’d never hated anyone with as much passion as she hated Stefano.

“Ah, yes, so you have told me before, but that will change Marlena. Someday you will come to love me, and depend on me,” Stefano said.

She wrapped the blanket more tightly against her body, and took a step towards Stefano. The guard beside her reached out, gripping her upper arm, but she shook him off with a vicious glance. She snapped at Stefano, “Your overinflated sense of self importance astounds me. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered someone with such an obvious diagnosis.”

He gave her a blank stare, pretending that her words did nothing. “What are you going on about?”

“Your narcissistic personality disorder. Your constant bravado, thinking that you are more successful, powerful, smart, and loved than anyone else. Your feelings of superiority. Your obvious need for excessive admiration, and entitlement… I should have known, but honestly,” she said. John needed her to be strong for both of them, and she would be. “I never gave it much thought.”

Stefano waved his hand as if her words meant nothing, but she’d dented his ego. “I have no idea what you are talking about, Marlena. I came to speak with you about what will be available for you while you are my guest, and also to tell you that I expect you for dinner tonight. Someone will come to bring you something to wear.” He nodded towards the blanket she was wrapped in. “That is hardly appropriate dinner attire.”

“Oh, that’s sweet,” Marlena told him with venom. “I am not your guest, I’m your prisoner. You think I’m going to make this easy for you, don’t you?” She stepped closer to him, whispering, “I won’t. I will find my way out of here, and I will take John with me.”

Stefano sighed as if he were bored, “You will change your mind, with time. In time, you will realize that my love for you is all consuming, and you will return my love.”

“I will find John, and then… I will burn this house to the fucking ground with you in it!” she screamed at him.

Stefano marveled at her rage, and how it somehow accentuated her beauty. He wanted her even more. He wanted to possess her, to own her… he wanted to conquer her. It was an overwhelming feeling that caused a rush of adrenaline to surge through his body. Pushing it back, he forced himself to calm down. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, Marlena. The language. I can see this isn’t the time for a rational conversation. Perhaps later today.”

She felt so helpless, and lost, but she couldn’t show him any weakness, so she stared at him with all of the hatred she possessed, and she channeled the fire that John loved in her. “John Black is a hundred times the man you would ever hope to be, and I would die before I ever gave myself to you!”

“By the end of the week, John Black will not even recognize you, Marlena.” Stefano walked out, leaving her alone. He said over his shoulder, “Käwika, lock her inside, and place a guard on the door. She does not leave unless she comes to dinner.”

Her body crumpled to the floor in a heap, as she cried over the helplessness of her situation. She leaned against the bed, and sobbed into her arms, curled up on the floor. John’s voice came to her in a memory, “Every chance you get. Every opportunity… remind me. Please. If you see me, remind me. Talk about special times we spent together, the times with really strong emotion. Talk about West Virginia, the affair, Brady and Belle… anything. It will reach me. I promise, baby… it will reach me. And whatever you do, please, please, don’t give up on me.” She sat up, wiping her face, and took a deep breath, whispering to herself, “Don’t give up. Don’t give up.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sami was looking for her father. She’d left the kitchen after watching Belle and Brady destroy a breakfast of pancakes with sausage. She had to begrudgingly admit they were adorable. Prior to her mom’s recent disappearance she hadn’t spent much time with them. Everytime she looked at Brady she remembered Isabella, and the family they were supposed to have, and everytime she looked at Belle she saw her mother spread out over a conference table at Titan Publishing. In the last few weeks, she’d gotten to know Brady and Belle. They were quirky, funny, loving children, and they were breaking down the walls she’d built to keep everyone away. They had an innocence about them that made it impossible to keep them at a distance.

Her Dad’s car was outside, so he was somewhere in the house, or possible the pub. She needed to know what was going on, and she’d overheard her grandparents the evening before discussing Marlena and John’s disappearance. She didn’t understand why her father hadn’t told her anything about what had happened. It was suspicious. It was a surprise to hear that. Her dad had stayed silent, allowing her to think her mother had run off with John. It hurt, truthfully. If the Salem PD and the ISA was looking into their disappearance she couldn’t understand why her father hadn’t told her. 

She started to descend the stairs into the pub, she heard Roman’s voice, “Listen Pop, I honestly don’t understand. Bo acted like I was wrong here, but I don’t think I am. Marlena chose to go with him. He called her, and she went. That’s what Carrie said. That’s the bottom line!”

“Carrie said Marlena was worried, Roman! Marlena and John… son, they’ve been through a lot together. They are not going to abandon each other to Stefano! If John were injured or if Marlena was hurt… they would stick with each other. That’s the way of it! That’s not the same as ye saying she chose to go with him. If Stefano DiMera was involved there was no choice in the matter! Marlena would never willingly leave her family. She loves them too much, and Belle? She’s just a baby,” Shawn said emphatically. “She wouldn’t have left Sami right now either! Not when Sami is just startin’ to make progress.”

Roman’s voice rose in anger as Sami inched her way down the stairs. “I saw them, Pop! Both of them! Neither one tried to fight it, and they looked perfectly healthy to me! They both went with him willingly.”

“Then one of ’em was hurt, or one of ’em was threatened,” Shawn insisted. “That be the way of it! John and Marlena, they ain’t going to abandon each other. Not fer anythin’. That’s not the same as running off together, Roman,” Shawn replied, looking at his oldest son with frustration. Roman could be the most stubborn in the whole Brady family, but this time he was also being ignorant. He didn’t even know his own wife if he really thought she’d run off and left her children behind willingly.

“Well she’s not here is she, Pop? She’s with John, and Sami here! Belle and Brady are here, too! I’d have fought to get away and get help, but they didn’t. They just gave up and went–”

Sami stepped into the pub, glancing between her surprised grandfather and her Dad. She’d been so angry for so long that she’d wanted to believe that her mother had run off with John. Why not? It supported her anger and it validated all of her feelings, but it wasn’t the truth.

Her grandpa was right. Her Mom’s disappearance with John was much more complicated than her father was making it out to be. Shawn was right, her mother and John would never abandon each other. She thought back to the brief time they had been a family and she knew… they had a connection that she would never understand. She had seen them communicate with their eyes, and their bodies. She had seen them each, on separate occasions, stiffen up when the other walked into the room, sight unseen. As angry as she was with them, they wouldn’t willingly leave her, Carrie, Eric, Belle, and Brady behind… unless it was to protect the other. Unless they’d had no choice. Her father was saying they chose to leave, and she knew it wasn’t true.

Roman seemed surprised to see her standing there. “Sami, when did you wake up?”

“I’ve been in the kitchen with grandma helping feed Belle and Brady their breakfast. I didn’t realize you were here,” she lied.

“You okay grabbing dinner at the pub tonight? I’ve got to work late.” No hug. No smile. That was Roman Brady. Straight to the point. It left Sami feeling hollow and thinking fondly of another childhood she lived that felt like another lifetime.

“Are you looking for Mom and John?” Sami asked him hopefully. “I know they’re missing.”

“That’s not my case. That’s Abe and Bo,” Roman replied carelessly, zipping up his jacket.

“Not your case? Don’t you care?” Sami looked at her father for a long moment, and asked him, “Why aren’t you looking for them?”

“I’m already loaded down with cases, Sami. Don’t worry Abe and your Uncle Bo have everything under control.” He smiled at her, “I’d just be in the way.”

He was lying again. “You don’t want to,” Sami said bluntly. “You think she left us, and now you’re not going to even try.”

“Sami, that’s not what’s happening here at all, ” Roman said defensively. “I’ve got a lot–”

” –I know she messed up, Dad, but I still love her. She’s still my mom, and it’s like you’ve just given up on her.” Sami came further into the room, feeling her grandfather’s eyes on her. “You’re not going to even try? Did you love her at all?”

“I haven’t given up on her! I’m very busy, and Bo and Abe have it handled. Don’t worry, okay? They’ll find your mom.” Facing his father, he said, “Look, Pop, we can finish this conversation later. McCall is expecting me at the station, and I’m behind on my reports.”

Sami felt desperate to ask about John. She wasn’t sure why. She was so angry she felt like she shouldn’t care at all, but she did. “And John? They’re going to find John too?”

Roman patted her on the back as if she were a child. He kissed her forehead, “Sure, honey. Yeah. Listen, I’ve gotta get going.” And then he was gone, leaving the room silent as tears welled up in her blue eyes.

Shawn watched his granddaughter as she stared at the closed door, “Your Uncle Bo and Abe, they be workin’ around the clock going to find yer mom. They’re going to find them both.”

“He thinks Mom chose to stay with John and leave us, doesn’t he?” She still didn’t understand how Roman could think the worst, and then she considered her own behavior over the last two years. Wasn’t she just like that? Stubborn and opinionated, always thinking she was right and refusing to listen when people explained things to her?

Shawn slid his arm around Sami’s hunched shoulders. “He’s just confused and hurt right now–”

” –so because he’s hurt, he’s just going to leave them with Stefano? They’ll die! Grandpa! As angry as I have been with them, I don’t want them to die!” she cried. Her Dad was just letting them be taken. The father she wanted and the father she needed were not to be found in the once great man known as Roman Brady. One thing she knew with everything in her heart was that John would never leave her mother and Roman to the fate that her father was choosing to leave John and her mother… and maybe that was the difference in what made a good man.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John’s head throbbed, pain lancing across his scalp with a ferocity he’d never experienced before. He tried to take stock of his situation, but even before he opened his eyes he knew it was grim. He was tied down, his head was strapped down as well. He wiggled his toes and clenched his fists, but he wasn’t going to be getting up and walking out of that room. His eyes fluttered, and he noticed the room was dim. It was outfitted with medical devices and from the angle of the light streaming in the window it was later afternoon. The last thing he recalled was falling asleep with Marlena tucked into his side. His eyes moved around until they landed on the man with silver gray ponytail and male pattern baldness. Those eyes met his, and brought forth a hundred nightmares. John’s voice was rough and dry when he croaked, “I know you.”

Rolf glanced over. “Ah, see, yes, and this is the problem I tell Stefano.” Rolf puttered at his computer typing in what appeared to be streams of data. “The chip is old. It has degraded in the muscular system. You will need a new one. This one simply won’t do–”

“ –chip?” John asked. What was the crazy mad scientist talking about? “You’re the fucker who tied me down and tattooed my back all those years ago.”

Rolf smiled like they were old friends, causing John to hold more firmly to his mad scientist theory. “You remember that? It is not my best work, although in my defense I am not an artist.” Rolf reached for the telephone, and spoke into it hurriedly. “He will need a new microchip, Stefano. I can remove the one he has now… it is starting to fail anyway. This will be good, and I can replace it with my updated prototype–” He was silent for a moment, and then he cried, “No, I have not tried it on someone else! Who would I try it on?” Silence, and then, “It does not matter, Stefano! I know it works. It is the same chip, only updated and less likely to corrode while embedded within the human body… no, no, I will not need Roman Brady’s memories. I have the file from 1985 when we mapped John Black’s memories. Roman’s memories would be useless for what you are asking me to do. You want John Black back, correct?”

The conversation continued and as it progressed John had a sinking feeling that Marlena might not be able to bring him back from whatever Stefano had planned. Stefano wanted his memories wiped all the way back to 1985.

Rolf continued speaking as if John weren’t there listening to every word. “He will be reset to 1985, anything else will be erased from his mind–”

“ –no! You tell that bastard that when I get out of here I will kill him!” John roared, pulling at his restraints. “I will fucking kill him!”

Chapter 6 – New Realities

John Black woke up two days later fully believing that it was still 1985. Rolf and Stefano had decided to give him the actual date as well as a modified version of where he’d been and what he’d been doing for the nine years prior. John ingested the information with a calm nod of acceptance, but he didn’t mention that gnaw of distrust that sat in his gut. While Stefano smiled at him and continued to be the calm, assertive, male figure in his life, John was unsettled. 

The last thing he could recall was his sadness over Gina’s treachery, and Stefano’s rage. That didn’t match with Stefano telling him he’d been alive and well for the past nine years, while only recently suffering a head injury. Another head injury? That was how Stefano had explained to John his loss of the first nearly twenty-five years of his life. It didn’t make sense. Not only that, but where was Gina? If he’d been alive and well, as Stefano stated, where had he been and what had he been doing?

There was no doubt that he’d aged. He saw it in his eyes everytime he looked in a mirror. There was also no doubt that he’d lived another life… if his odd dreams were any indication. Then there was the bandage and stiches on the nape of his neck. Rolf insisted it was because John had to have surgery for an intracranial hemorrhage. John wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t sure about anything. Not the way he had been before, and he wasn’t sure why. 

He leaned over his boots, lacing them tightly, and then he stood up, glancing outside. It was going to rain. He could see it in the distance, but Stefano had insisted that John was out of shape since his accident. He needed to restart his exercise regimen. He was unfamiliar with the trails on Petit Mustique, and therefore Izan would be going with him on his first day out. 

He wanted to learn the terrain of the island. He’d been looking at topographic maps for the last two days. The island was mostly rugged, mountainous land with a small flat plateau in the middle. That was where the compound was situated. He felt a driving need to learn every secret the island held. 

Izan knocked on John’s door and waited for John to open it. “Are you ready for your run?”

“Yes,” was all John said as he exited the room. Izan didn’t say much, and neither did John. It was the perfect working relationship. They passed by Käwika as they exited the home, stepping into the fall of misty rain. “I’m assuming, like all of Stefano’s compounds, that this one has a series of underground passageways.”

“It does,” Izan replied carefully. 

“Are there entrances from the jungles that exit inside the home?” he asked.

Izan stretched his hamstrings, and then rotated his back. “Stefano asked me to explain it all while we are out in the jungle.”

John gave Izan a grin that made him nervous. As a matter of fact, everything about John Black made Izan nervous. He didn’t agree with Stefano’s complete faith in Rolf’s questionable science, but he agreed with the amount of money he received every month in his paycheck. His job was to follow orders, and Stefano could deal with the fallout. He tried not to read too much into John’s grin, when he said, “Perfect.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Abe was apologetic when he handed Bo the DNA report, “I’m sorry it took longer than we expected, but with the ISA involved now… well, Shane insisted that it be double checked. They fear that Stefano has his hands in every pot in Salem.”

“No, that’s good. That’s good, man. I’d rather they double check everything. Especially after what happened with John and Roman. It makes sense.” Bo stared at the DNA report that Abe had given him. A smile slowly spread across his face. She was Hope. His wife. Shawn D’s mother, and Alice’s granddaughter… and she was alive. He glanced over at the door to her hospital room, seeing her through the narrow window. His wife. His Hope. Looking at Abe, he said, “I guess it’s time to talk to her.”

“Let me know if you need me,” Abe said. “I’ll be at the station.”

Bo pushed the door to Hope’s room open. She glanced up, and upon seeing Bo, she smiled at him broadly, “Hey Brady, long time no see.”

He grinned back, “You just saw me.” She just shrugged and smiled, going back to the doodle she was drawing on a hospital notepad. Bo didn’t pay it much mind, when he said, “Mike’s talking about releasing you in a couple days.”

“I’m so ready to get out of here.” She drew another line along the paper, listening as Bo pulled the stool close to the bed. “It’s lonely in here… and I’m sure there a reason, since you, Mike, and Abe have been so secretive, but I want to see Shawn D and Gran. I want to call Julie and my Dad… as you know this telephone doesn’t work.”

Sighing, he reached for her hand, realizing again how soft her skin had always felt to him. “With everything that Stefano has put the Brady’s through over the years, and everything that happened with John, Marlena, and Roman… we had to be sure. We had to be sure that you were Hope.”

Which means there had been doubt. She was quiet for a moment, and then she looked at him with brilliant green eyes. “I see…and?”

“The finger print report came back two days ago as a match for you… and this afternoon, the DNA came back as a match as well,” he said. “You’ll get visitors by the end of the day. I was going to go tell Alice after I spoke with you, and you know she’ll call everyone in the family.”

Hope dropped the notepad and pencil on the table on the other side of her bed, and asked excitedly, “And Shawn D?”

“I’ll bring him here, myself,” he told her. He sighed. Telling her about Tom would be hard. Telling her about Billie might break her. Taking another deep breath, he said, “But there are a couple things I didn’t tell you. Now that you’re stronger, you need to know.” Hope watched him, knowing from his facial expression that she wasn’t going to like what she heard. “You were gone for years, and I was… I was engaged when we found you. To a woman named Billie. This has all been very hard on her, but she’s leaving Salem… she’s decided to leave.”

“You said was, does that mean you aren’t engaged anymore?” Hope asked quietly.

Finding Billie’s engagement ring and a folded piece of notebook paper on the Fancy Face that morning was a fairly good indicator that things were over, and He wasn’t surprised. Hope had been his sole focus for the past few days, and it was obvious where his loyalties lie. Leaving a note as a goodbye was how Billie avoided heartbreak and how Bo avoided feeling shitty. He looked away, but held fast to Hope’s hand. “No. She, um, she left me a letter last night, and she was gone this morning.”

It hurt. She couldn’t deny that, but she’d been wondering about Bo’s life for the last four years and he hadn’t told her anything about it. She’d be a fool to think he’d spent it dedicated to her memory. Of course, he’d moved on. Hope touched his arm, whispering, “I’m sorry, Bo. I am. I was thinking about it the other night… that you had thought I was dead for four years, and there must have been, well, there must have been other women. If you were engaged, you must love her.”

Bo didn’t say anything for a moment. Finally he told her, “I do, Fancy Face, but I don’t think I could ever love anyone as much as I loved you.”

She felt the sting of tears in her eyes. “Loved?”

Bo sighed. What could he tell her that wouldn’t hurt? He decided that the truth would be best. “I’m still getting used to the idea of you being back… but I think we’ll get back to what we had. I can feel it when I look at you. Even before you woke up after your surgery, just looking at your face had my stomach doing flutters, and I couldn’t stop touching you… I still love you, but my heart is scared. So scared,” he whispered. “Losing you the way I did… I wanted to die. I still have nightmares where you beg me to save you, and then the explosion happens, and you’re just gone.”

She’d had her own nightmares over the years and pushed them aside. Afterall, she was Gina Von Amberg and those dreams were nothing. Yet, Bo’s face was something, even when brainwashed, that she’d never forgotten – even if she hadn’t understood it at the time. Bo looked away again, and she reached out, trailing her fingers across his skin. He seemed so sad. “There’s something else, isn’t there? I can tell.”

Bo nodded. “Mike and I decided to wait until you were out of the woods, and a little stronger. G-d, I don’t know how to tell you this…”

“Just tell me, Bo,” she whispered. “If you’re with me, I can handle it.”

“Your Grandpa Horton passed away, the day before we found you,” Bo told her gently.

“No.” She started crying immediately, and Bo’s first reaction was to climb on the bed beside her, and pull her into his arms. She rolled into him, “No.”

Holding her tightly, he told her, “It was peaceful. He passed in his sleep. Alice said he looked like he was sleeping.”

Of all of the scenarios she’d played in her mind since she’d found out how long she was missing, losing her grandparents had never been a consideration. They’d always been there. A foundation in her life. But no one can live forever. Her tears soaked Bo’s shirt as she whispered, “I can’t believe he’s gone, but then I remember that I’ve been gone four years…”

Stroking the hair back from her face, he whispered, “Mrs. H is going to be so happy to have you back, Fancy Face. Having you back will help her soul so much.”

Pulling back, and looking up at Bo with a tear stained face, she asked him, “Can you call her now? Since the DNA results prove who I am? Tell her to come to the hospital because you have a surprise for her?”

Bo’s eyes scanned over her face, and his thumbs wiped the tears from her cheek, “I can do that…” He softly kissed her forehead, “Yeah, I can do that.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Rain in the tropics had always held a sort of mystic beauty for Marlena. The sun could be shining while the air around you could be filled with the soft haze of gently falling rain. It was beautiful. Every time she saw it on television, or even right then as she stared out her window, she thought of John. She thought of their trip to Cabo San Lucas and making love in the middle of the night near a small hidden cove. She thought of John teaching her how to pick locks and how he’d made love to her as soon as they got into their hotel room. Marlena closed her eyes, staring at the edge of the forest. 

The whole island was a jungle. It was all she could see surrounding the compound as they’d flown it, and from her window it was all she could see, until movement off to the right caught her eye. A quick flash of two bodies darting out of the forest, and then just as quickly back in. Instantly, without doubt or thought, she knew it was John. She leaned into the window sill. “John?” she whispered, but there wasn’t another sight of him. He was gone, but he was alive. He was alive, and for whatever reason Stefano had, he was still there.

She’d dreamed of him the night before. A dream so real, so vivid, it had seemed as if it had just happened. But it hadn’t. Making love to John in the Titan conference room was a memory from more than a year earlier.

“What do you know about zen?” John asked her.

His words traveled along her spine like a soft caress. She turned to face him quickly, her blond curls, swirling about her shoulders, “About what?”

“About… zen,” he said softly, walking towards her. “As in Buddhism? It’s very complicated, and yet it’s very simple at the same time. Like, the story of the man who wanted to know who Buddha was. So, he asked him, are you a G-d? Buddha said, no. So, he asked him, are you an angel? And, once again, Buddha said, no. So, he said, you must be a saint. For the third time, Buddha replied, no.” John’s voice was barely above a whisper. He stepped closer. “So, the man said, what are you? And Buddha looked at him, and said, I am awake. Well, that’s what the word Buddha means. Awake. That’s how the whole thing started. With one man, who woke up…”

She stared at him with awe, her lips slightly parted. “Why are you telling me that story?”

“Because, that’s how I feel when I am with you, Doc. Awake. Alive. And nobody on this earth makes me feel that way,” he said, stepping closer. “Nobody but you.”

“Don’t do this to me,” she whispered, staring at him with wide eyes. Even though he promised to let her go, he was pulling her in.

“Now, I know you want to go, and I’m not going to stop you, but please, there is one thing I need to say, alright?” John paused, waiting to see if she would say anything, and when she didn’t, he continued, “You know what I was going through when Isabella died. How I was walking around like a zombie. I was dead inside… until, that night on the plane, when you and I made love.” 

She closed her eyes in pain, trying to push out his words, but she couldn’t. 

“You gave me life again, Doc, and, if nothing more comes out of this, I just want to say thank you.” John watched her turn away from him. Her breath came rapidly, and she could feel the heavy rise and fall of her breasts. He stepped closer, and even without trying, he drew her in with his scent, and her own desire. 

“If you want me to leave, I will,” he told her. He reached for her chin, bringing her head around to face him again, while stepping even closer. So close that she could each feel the heat and desire rolling off of him. His cock bumped her hip causing her to gasp softly.

When she slowly brought her hazel eyes up to meet his blue ones, he whispered, “Is that what you want?” He continued to softly caress her face, while she stared at him with longing, refusing to answer his question, but not denying him, either. “I mean it, Doc. If you want me to leave, I’ll walk out that door right now, and as hard as it may be, I’ll stay out of your life… if that’s what you want.” He watched her, and her heart was pumping so fast in her chest, she could physically feel her blood rushing. The touch of his skin across her cheek was driving her mad, and the scent of musk and cedar surrounded her, making her ache for wanting him. One final time he whispered, “Do you want me to go?”

She stared at him with a mixture of want, and sadness, slowly moving her head back and forth to indicate, no. That was all he needed. He moved closer so slowly, as if he were afraid to startle her, as if she might run from him at any moment, and he couldn’t bear to lose her. Leaning forward, his lips slowly caressed hers, nipping at them lightly. At first, she simply allowed him to kiss her, while her breath wafted over him, but when she opened her mouth to him, and he felt the soft touch of her tongue sweeping across his, he nearly devoured her. 

Pain and intense desire ripped through her, when he moaned softly into her mouth, and threaded his fingers tightly in her hair, pulling her mouth closer to his. She wanted him. She could continue to deny it, but when they were together, like this, there was no denying it. “Fuck, Doc, I love you so much,” he said, before he started biting along her jaw. She wanted John to claim her, to mark her body, but he couldn’t because she wasn’t his…

She stepped away from the window, and wiped furiously at her tears. Glancing up at the camera in the corner, she turned away from it, refusing to allow Stefano to watch her pain. He wasn’t allowed to have that part of her. No one was, except John.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John followed Izan into the darkened wine cellar, but his mind was a thousand miles away. His dream the night before had been plaguing him. Soft words that sounded pleading while angry at the same time. Don’t do this to me. Then there were the soft scents of flowers – lilac, gardenia, lavender. None of which was anywhere on the compound and yet it was haunting him. There had been a woman with no face, but she had blonde hair that felt like satin in his fingers. Was it a fabrication of his mind? Or was it something else. Nine years earlier he would have trusted Rolf enough to ask. He might have gone to Stefano with his concerns, but something held him back. It was something he didn’t fully understand.

He glanced over at Izan, “Do the passageways all end here in the wine cellar?”

“No,” Izan replied, wiping the rain from his face. “There are several others, but they all enter through the basement at different points. The house is quite large.”

John gave a wave of frustration at Izan that reminded the other man very much of Stefano, and he said, “I’m done for today. I have a headache, and I must check in with Rolf.”

“Stefano said you must work out for four hours,” Izan told him.

“Stefano can fuck off,” John replied. “I’m done for today.”

With one last look, Izan ducked back into the tunnel and headed back towards the forest.

John rested his arm against the wooden wine rack built into the cellar wall, and he laid his forehead against it. Something inside him was wrong, and maybe he needed to speak with Rolf about it. He was safe, and yet… he was scared to death, and he didn’t know why.

Chapter 7 – The Dinner Invitation

John stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped low around his hips. Steam drifted out after him. His head was covered in a towel which he rubbed over his hair vigorously. Stefano stood in his doorway watching him with thinly veiled interest. John had felt Stefano watching him closely all week, ever since he’d woken up after surgery. Watching, waiting, and it was disconcerting. It only added to John’s already wary thoughts. 

The relationship he recalled from before his accident had been more of a friendship, until Gina blew it all to hell. John sighed, glancing up at Stefano. Hell, maybe in his attempt to avoid Stefano’s plan for him, he’d blown it all to hell. Blaming Gina wasn’t right, because she’d told him it was foolish to run away, and John had known that his chances for getting away from Stefano were slim. Besides, Stefano was his employer, and his mentor. Stefano was the father figure he had always needed in his life, because he couldn’t remember anyone else. 

He hung his towel on a hook inside the bathroom, and returned to the bedroom. Stefano continued to watch him. Years ago he had felt a kinship with the man, as if they were friends, and while Stefano continued to behave as if nothing had changed… John felt that something was different. He couldn’t pinpoint it, but it left him wary of the man. “Good afternoon, John. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” was his only response. He was exhausted after four hours of running through the forest as well as an additional hour of shooting practice with Izan. It was all unnecessary. He outran Izan and could outshoot him as well. He’d already memorized all of the tunnels underneath the compound and he was part way through learning the passageways within the house. It was all busy work. Things Stefano assigned Izan to have him do to keep him away from something else. But what was that?

“That is good. Very good.” Stefano came further into the room and looked John over as if he were a prized heifer. “Have you completed your daily exercises?”

“Yes, you ask me that every day,” John said blandly. “You know I have. Doesn’t Izan report to you like a good little soldier boy?”

Stefano sighed, as if John’s sarcasm frustrated him. He had to admit that he found this version of John more problematic than other versions, although John had always been headstrong and stubborn. “Exercise is important, John. Especially for you. I need you to be in excellent shape for what I have planned.”

“And what might that be?” John asked him warily. “You know, the last time you had a plan for me, I lost nine years.”

“Now, John. I explained all of that. It was an accident.” He watched John for a moment, and then said, “As for my plan… I’ll let you know when the time is right.” He walked towards the door to leave, but then turned back. “Izan will be bringing you something to wear for dinner. I came to tell you that I want you to join me for dinner tonight. I want you to meet my house guest.”

“Since when do you have a house guest?” John asked him. He had woken up a week ago in Rolf’s lab with no memory of the last nine years. In the week he’d been awake, he hadn’t seen anyone else on the compound besides regular staff, Izan, Käwika, Stefano, and Rolf. If anyone else was there, they were locked in. He immediately thought of Rachel Blake, and then his eyes narrowed. “Is there someone in the Blake Suite?”

Stefano laughed, “Always so quick to figure things out, John. Yes. She is a reluctant houseguest, but a guest nonetheless. Please be in the dining room at seven thirty.”

“I don’t understand why you need me there,” he replied, digging through his drawer for a pair of sweatpants. “After today’s workout I’d rather go to bed. I was reading.”

“Your novel can wait,” Stefano grumbled. “Seven thirty, John.”

John watched Stefano leave the room, shutting the door behind him as if what John wanted didn’t matter. He hated dinners with Stefano. The food was excellent, but the company wasn’t anything he missed. Usually stuffy diplomats, or other high profile people that needed the types of favors Stefano Dimere could provide… for a price. Besides that, John was exhausted. He hadn’t been sleeping well at all. His dreams were filled with a woman he didn’t recognize, and emotions that made him uncomfortable. He’d considered mentioning it to Stefano or Rolf, but again, he felt wary. He wasn’t sure why. Stefano was his friend, and would never hurt him. Then why did he feel like he couldn’t trust him at all? Why did he feel as if Stefano was the most dangerous person in his life?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Hope woke up from her nap to find Bo asleep beside her bed with his head lying on her thigh, and his hand gripping hers. She smiled softly, still amazed that four years of her life was gone, and she couldn’t remember any of it. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. She’d had dreams, but they were foggy, unclear, and something so out of the realm of any reality she knew, she thought they had to be false. Reaching her other hand out, she stroked it over Bo’s hair, feeling its silky, brown softness as it sifted through her fingers. He moaned her name in his sleep, making Hope’s heart soar. She murmured softly to herself, “I love you, Bo Brady.”

Bo continued to rouse as she played with his hair, and stroked her fingers lightly along his ear. With a sleep roughened voice, she heard him mumble, “Are you trying to drive me crazy, Fancy Face? That tickles.”

“Wake up, and hang out with me, Brady,” she laughed at his little boy frown as he lifted his head to look at her.

“I’m awake. I’m awake,” he said, stretching his arms up, and cracking his back. “That is not a great position for sleeping.”

“No, but I like waking up to you beside me,” she said.

Bo smiled at her softly. “So, what’s on your mind?”

“I had a weird dream… and I think I should tell you about it. I was in an art museum at night. I was able to disengage the security system, replace a painting with a forgery, pass the original off to my partner, re-engage the security system, and escape without being caught… Bo it didn’t feel like a dream. It felt very real.” She waited to see if he would believe her.

“Do you think it could be real?” he asked her, suddenly very curious about what she had been up to for the last four years.

“My partner… Bo, my partner was John,” she whispered.

“It couldn’t have been,” Bo said softly. “The timeline doesn’t work for it to be John. He’s been in Salem the whole time.”

“Are you sure? It felt so real, and something else… I know things… I think I can paint. I know I can draw, look!” Hope took the notepad off of the table beside her bed and thrust it towards Bo. “Do you see this? And I dream about painting, but I’m painting counterfeits. I know that’s what they are.”

Bo glanced over the pencil drawing in awe. Hope couldn’t even draw a straight line, let alone a villa on a hill. Slowly he said, “Abe told me that Shane was coming to Salem in the next few days, with the forensics report from the ISA. You know, that report on the microchip they removed from your neck. Maybe, just maybe, that is the key to your past.”

Hope was so uncertain about the skills she thought she possessed, but if she closed her eyes she could imagine the feel of the paintbrush in her hand. “When I’m released, can I get some art supplies? I need to see if I can paint, because, Bo… I really think I can.”

“Sure, but the last I knew, you couldn’t even draw a circle,” Bo said with laughter.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Stefano entered Marlena’s room on silent feet. She was asleep, curled up on her side with her blonde hair laying across the pillow. He reached out, lifting a strand of her hair to expose her face. She was the most beautiful women he had ever laid eyes on… almost. Stefano had to admit that Rachel Blake’s beauty had rivaled Marlena’s, but there was something about Marlena Brady that intrigued him. His son Tony had once told him that he could never truly love a woman. He could only obsess over them, but Tony was a fool. They barely spoke, and Tony was a disappointment that Stefano chose not to dwell on. 

Watching Marlena sleep, he was frustrated at how to reach her. He wanted her to come to trust him. He wanted her to slide into his bed. Instead, she had completely stopped speaking to him, or anyone else. At first he had demanded that she take meals with him, but she had refused food entirely. That lasted two days, until Stefano broke down. She would eventually come to him willingly, but he couldn’t allow her to starve herself. The last thing he wanted to be confronted with was a half starved woman. Now, unless food was brought to her room, she did not eat at all. She was confined to the suite and went through the day to day motions of living; eating, sleeping, bathing, and using the bathroom – although she had torn the camera out of the bathroom and tossed it at Käwika’s feet in a fit of rage. That’s when she had gone silent three days before. Rolf called it selective mutism. Marlena was traumatized by what had happened at Maison Blanche, John’s injury on the tarmac, and then, of course, the way she was separated from John a week ago. Not knowing John’s condition further exacerbated the problem. Stefano logically understood it, but had little empathy for it. 

The dinner with John was Rolf’s suggestion. It would allow Marlena to see John, thereby proving to her that he was alive and well. But to Stefano the dinner was a way to watch John and his interactions with Marlena. How would he respond to her? The cameras in John’s room proved that he was dreaming, but he never called out. John hadn’t reported anything to either him or Rolf that would suggest he was having memories of Marlena, and when asked he assured them both that he had no memories. Rolf was thrilled, but there were moments when Stefano was sure that he saw something in John’s eyes – a wariness perhaps, or possibly fear. 

Marlena rolled over, and opened her eyes, to find Stefano standing beside her bed in the afternoon sunlight. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. Her fingers clawed at her own throat, unable to scream. She scrambled back from him and got caught in the thin blanket, falling to the floor. Stefano watched her in wide eyed surprise, coming around the bed quickly to offer her his hand to rise, but Marlena shook her head fiercely, refusing his help. She slapped his hand away furiously.

He sighed, “I will not hurt you, Marlena. I love you. I will always love you.”

The only response he received was her shaking her head in the negative. She hated him. Marlena was smart, she knew what was wrong with her. She knew that her mind was so overwhelmed with everything this man had inflicted on her and on John, that she was no longer able to speak. She was working that out on her own.

“I want you to dine with me tonight… for dinner,” Stefano told her.

She shook her head again, indicating the answer was no.

“Pity. John will be joining me for dinner as well. I had thought you wanted to see that he is well,” he told her. Marlena’s eyes darted to his face to see if he was lying. “I see you’re interested. He won’t remember you, of course, but perhaps if you see how changed he is you will give this silly fantasy you have of a future with him.”

She watched him leave her room, and shut the door behind himself. It was only then, that she realized she had tears streaming down her face, and she was gasping for breath, on the verge of a panic attack. John. She’d be able to see him, possibly touch him. She ran her fingers down her throat desperately trying to will herself to cry out or speak. 

She had decided as soon as Stefano mentioned John, that she would go to his dinner. Stefano had obviously invited John to terrorize her, even though he’d said it was so she could see that John was well. Nothing with Stefano DiMera was ever that simple. Stefano wanted to see her reaction, in the hope that she would finally accept that she’d lost John, but Stefano also wanted to see if his brainwashing of John was truly successful. He would watch them both to see how they reacted to each other. 

She could play this game of Stefano’s, and if John recognized her or felt anything at all, she would know. She would know immediately, but John was smart – certainly smarter than Stefano had ever acknowledged. If John felt anything, he’d hide it. He might not know why, but he would. She took a deep breath and gathered herself together. She had to focus. She tried to talk again, but only a squeak came out. She had to speak. She had to do it for John. How else could she remind him of their love?

Stefano’s arrogance, and his compulsion to be right all of the time, had led to his own failure again, and again. The toiletries in her bathroom were just another example. He’d stocked her bathroom with all of the same toiletries she usually used. He was trying to prove how well he knew her, but it proved nothing. Marlena didn’t want to contemplate how he knew. It scared her to think that he’d been in her home, or that someone who worked for him had been in her home. While he considered himself intellectually superior thinking that he’d make her feel at home while she was his captive, what he’d actually done was the one thing he never should have – he’d given her a way to trigger John’s memories.

As she got ready for the evening she washed her hair thoroughly using the same brand of shampoo she’d used for years, used the same body wash that John would be familiar with, the same lotion, and the same perfume. Marlena knew that a person’s sense of smell was directly connected to their limbic system, and the memories triggered by smell were much older, and therefore more vivid when recollection did occur. Marlena was preparing for battle, and Stefano was ignorant of it all, because, as usual, his arrogance left him short sighted, and he would fail. She smiled into the bathroom mirror, at her reflection, and she thought, I promised not to give up on you, John, and tonight is just the beginning, and then softly, she whispered, “John.”

Chapter 8 – Touch, Taste, & Lilacs

John’s anticipation had been building for hours. Just knowing that Stefano had a guest in the Blake Suit brought back so many memories he never wanted to think about. At first, he hadn’t understood why, but with further thought he knew. What had happened with Rachel Blake had been a tragedy, but he knew he’d played his part. He followed Stefano’s orders, and he’d lied to Rachel about her husband’s death. Later, when she wouldn’t acquiesce to Stefano’s overtures, he’d lied to Rachel’s children, telling them that she was deceased as well. He blandly watched them as their tears fell, and Stefano stepped in as a benevolent savior. All the while Rachel was locked in the Blake Suite on the other side of the house. 

John’s wariness arose from the idea that Stefano had another unwilling woman locked inside the house. Women were the only unwilling guests Stefano entertained. The rest were tortured and locked away. His skin crawled. There was something about this that affected him. Why? He’d decided to attend Stefano’s dinner if only to appease his own curiosity. He would agree to meet Stefano’s house guest, even though, in John’s experience, they were usually kidnap victims. John had never really considered that his business. Stefano was his boss, and he paid him well to keep his opinions to himself. Why was he having such a hard time doing that?

He stepped into the large dining room. It was too hot in the tropical climate for the fireplace to be lit, so Stefano had cast the lanai doors wide open, and a soft jasmine scented breeze  wafted in. John glanced down at his button down shirt covered in birds of paradise and palm leaves. At least he was comfortable. In any other location the dinner attire would have been a tuxedo. At least the chinos fit him well, and he was allowed some level of comfort. 

“Would you like a brandy, John, while we wait for Marlena?” Stefano said casually, watching for John’s reaction. John already knew there had to be some reason behind this dinner. Stefano said the woman’s name as if he expected him to recognize it. He didn’t, but with the way Stefano watched him, John knew it was a trap. It caused more questions than it answered.

“Yes. Did you tell her 7:30? Because she’s late,” John said impatiently. “And I’m hungry.

“She will be here. She was excited to meet you,” Stefano responded, as he placed ice in two crystal glasses.

“Excited to meet me? I don’t even know who she is,” John said, taking the brandy that Stefano handed him. He eyed Stefano for a moment, and then asked, “So why would she be excited?”

Stefano sipped his drink, “I speak of you often. She just wants to put a face to the name.”

John grunted in response. Stefano was lying, and John was unhappy that this dinner was going exactly the way he had thought it would. He’d be bored out of his mind in less than fifteen minutes. He walked over to the mantle, glancing over the random items scattered over it. His eyes landed on a photograph that he now knew was Peter and Kristen. They were grown and there was a shrewdness in Kristin’s eyes that caused him to pause. Years under Stefano’s influence could change a person. 

In his case, John was starting to believe Stefano had been deceiving him all along. He had just sat his drink on the mantle, when the scent of lilacs hit him so hard, he nearly fell over. His mind took over, don’t react. Don’t fucking react. A kaleidoscope of images that made no sense filled him up. Colors, and blurry faces. Light laughter, and honey blonde hair. Breathing deeply, he steeled himself. Stefano was watching. John got himself under control. What the fuck is happening to me? He waited, and he forced himself to continue to idly fidget with something on the mantle. The driving need to maintain normalcy took over, as if reacting to whomever had just entered the room might mean certain death for him… and for her.

Marlena had seen it. That split second where John stiffened up, and then instantly relaxed. It was fleeting. Come and gone so fast that Stefano missed it, as he turned to face her. She continued to stare at John’s back, as Stefano smiled at her smugly, gleeful that John had seemingly missed her entrance. 

Marlena’s scent surrounded Stefano, allowing him to believe that Rolf’s latest procedure on John was a success. Not a flinch, not a quick turn to find the source of the entrancing scent. John had no reaction at all. Stefano said, “John, my guest has arrived. I would like you to meet Marlena Evans.”

She watched as John turned towards her with a bland, emotionless expression. He stepped forward, holding his hand out for her to shake. He gave her a polite smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Instead he looked at Stefano, and asked, “When will the food be ready? You know I hate these things.”

“Soon. Soon,” Stefano told him with barely suppressed glee. Turning to Marlena, Stefano said, “You look beautiful tonight, my queen. That dress is very lovely on you.”

She didn’t answer him. The dress she was given was covered in large tropical flowers and several years out of fashion. She had no doubt that it had belonged to another woman Stafano had tried to seduce. It made her wonder where that woman was, and what had happened to her?

John’s eyes were on her, and she felt a sharp pang of want. If only she could touch him, or stroke his hand. He had no idea who she was. Stefano had already wiped his memory. Her focus now had to be bringing him back, reminding him of what they were to each other. She watched the ire light Stefano’s eyes for a moment, but she didn’t respond. Hatred lit her up like a bonfire. Even without words, it was evident how she felt about him.

“Ah, I had hoped you would regain your ability to speak by now,” Stefano said, ignoring the hate filled look she gave him. He stepped closer to her, reaching out as if to stroke her cheek, but she flinched away from him. “Remember, my darling Marlena, someday you will love me, just as I love you.”

Turning away from him, she looked to John. Their eyes met and held, but she kept herself from speaking, and glanced away quickly. Getting John to remember her was going to be more difficult than she’d initially anticipated. While he watched her with curious eyes, there was no spark of recognition. She sighed. As much as Stefano wanted her words, she refused to give them to him. She would get her chance to speak with John at some point, but it wouldn’t be in front of an evil, masochistic madman.

The process of dinner was absolute torture for John, because as much as he hated formal dinners with Stefano, formal dinners with Stefano and a strange woman named Marlena, was even more torturous. Several times she had run her foot along his calf, while Stefano carried on mundane conversation. He recoiled automatically, pulling away from her at first, while forcing himself to maintain a facial expression of absolute boredom. But after over an hour and a half of sitting near her, surrounded by the smell of her, while she secretly did things to entice him, he had become so aroused he didn’t understand it. Yes, she was a beautiful woman, but he usually had more control. It was something about her scent that pulled at the deepest regions of his mind. He didn’t fully understand it. He didn’t know who she was, or what she meant to him, but all he could think about was shoving her against a wall, and fucking her.

She knew she was getting to him, every time she ran her foot along his leg, he would scratch his head, or his pinky would twitch. At one point he had dropped his fork, and she watched with a smirk as it clattered loudly against the fine china when it hit the table. Later, John had left the table to go to the restroom, and as he had risen, he had faced her, away from Stefano. The bulge in his slacks had been unmistakeable. She was getting to him. He may not remember her exactly, but he wanted her. John wasn’t as far gone from her as Stefano would have liked, and that pleased her to no end.

Izan entered the room, approaching Stefano warily, “Mr. DiMera, you have a telephone call.”

Stefano waved his hand in dismissal. He was far too entertained watching the way John ignored Marlena’s every effort to draw his attention. “Find out who it is, and I will call them back. As you can see, we are still having dinner.”

Izan cleared his throat, “I’m sorry sir, it’s your daughter… Kristen.”

“Kristen?” John asked curiously. “How old is she now, Stefano? The last time I saw her I believe she was about barely twenty. G-d she used to give me a headache, always following me around.”

Marlena choked on her wine, spitting it out on the table in front of her. John gave her a curious glance, and Stefano seemed even more irritated, if that were possible. Kristen had followed John around? That meant Kristen had known him when she first came to Salem. 

Giving her a hard stare, Stafeano said to John, “I’ll be right back.”

As soon as he had left the room, Marlena and John both spoke at the same time,

“John, are you okay?”

“Who the fuck are you, lady?”

They stared at each other for a moment, before Marlena’s eyes became even sadder. She reached for his hand, but he pulled away. “You really don’t remember me?” It was confirmation of what she’d already known, and it hurt. Between Stefano and his evil, madcap doctor, they’d wiped his mind completely.

“I have no idea who you are,” he said. He had an inkling that she meant something to him. She felt meaningful in some way, but he wouldn’t say that to her, because that was all he knew. He didn’t know who to trust, and he had always trusted Stefano. But since he’d woken up there was a tension between them that hadn’t been there before. Why? Now he was simply confused.

Feeling like she had very little time before Stefano returned, she whispered, “You told me not to give up on you… you–you made me promise to reach you… I don’t take my promises lightly, John Black. You mean something to me, and I… I mean something to you.”

“What does that even mean?” he asked, so frustrated he could scream. He wanted to ask her why the scent of her skin made him want to reach for her. He wanted to know why the sound of her voice made him tremble. 

“I promised you,” she whispered, “… on the plane, before we got here, that I wouldn’t give up on our love. I won’t give up on our love. That I would somehow find a way to make you remember, because we knew that Stefano was going to separate us. We knew—” Marlena stopped speaking as soon as she heard Stefano’s footsteps on the wooden floor. She stared down at her hand, gripping her wine glass tightly. When Stefano entered the dining room, she lifted her head, and continued her dinnertime glowering at him. John noticed that she went silent. Stefano believed she couldn’t speak. Would he be the one to tell the man that she could?

“I am sorry for the interruption. Kristen is upset because someone she believed herself in love with has left town,” Stefano told them. “I have spoken to Tony, and he will take care of her.”

“Tony?” John asked with a laugh. Kristen was stubborn and bratty. “What’s he going to do?”

“Ah, yes, John… good news! Kristen and Tony are married,” Stefano said brightly, as if that negated him just saying she was pining after another man.

“Really? How’s that working out if she thinks she’s in love with someone else? I doubt even he can control her,” John laughed. “Kristen isn’t one to give up when she wants something.”

Marlena stared down at her wine with a smirk, and John looked at her quizzically, but then glanced away as if he were bored again. Stefano was pleased to note that John had no emotional reaction to Marlena, other than a vague disinterest. Even after giving them time alone, John seemed unbothered, and Marlena seemed melancholy. She had done exactly what he expected her to do when he left the room, she had attempted to reach him. He wanted to laugh. How could she when she lacked the ability to speak? 

Dr. Rolf had done an excellent job with John. Marlena would continue to try to reach him, and she would continue to be unsuccessful, he thought smugly. All of it would lead her straight into his arms.

“Thank you both for a lovely evening,” Stefano said, rising from his chair. “I have some other business to attend to, so John, if you do not mind, can you make sure that Marlena gets back to her room safely? You know the procedure.” Stefano handed him the key to the Blake Suite.

John eyed the key with frustration. He felt apprehension in his gut when he asked, “Why is she in the Blake Suite?”

Stefano refused to answer the question for a moment. He finally said, “That room has a beautiful view.” He waited to see if John would say more. He didn’t. The Blake Suite was impossible to escape from. The bars on the windows, and the fact that it overlooked the forest canopy. It was the most secure room in the house, as long as Marlena didn’t learn of the secret entrance. Stefano turned to Marlena, “Goodnight, my darling. Perhaps you will join me for breakfast?”

Standing and looking at him with absolute hatred, Marlena shook her head in the negative. She would not be taking meals with him again.

John watched her turn, and leave the room, following behind her. Up the stairs they went, her scent wafting behind her like a spell meant to entice him. He wanted to grab her. He wanted to devour her, and slide his hands up under her flowing dress. Her skin would be warm, and sleek. Shaking his head to rid it of his thoughts, he stared at her and wondered who she was. What was she to him? Why was he reacting so strongly to her? When they finally reached her room, she went in, and he followed closely behind her. He pushed the door shut, and grabbed her arms, flipping her around, pushing her against the wall. “Who are you?” he asked her, breathing heavily.

She glanced up at the camera in the corner, and refused to answer him. He saw her concern. She wasn’t going to say anything. Just when he was ready to give up, she laced her fingers through his, and pulled him into the bathroom. 

Her own breathing was coming at a rapid pace, while her heart beat a staccato rhythm in her chest. She let go of his hand and crossed the room. “The cameras,” she whispered softly. 

The sound of her voice turned him on even more. “Fuck the cameras, lady!” He stalked towards her until her bottom hit the edge of the sink. Staring down at her with an intensity he didn’t understand, he asked, “Who are you?”

Clearing her throat, she rasped, “Marlena. I’m – I’m Marlena.”

He wasn’t sure whether to laugh, or walk away. “Maybe I should have phrased that differently… what are you to me?”

“It’s too complicated to answer that in one sentence.” She stared up at him with so much love in her eyes. “But… the short answer is that you love me, and I love you.”

He was scared, because what she said rang true in the deepest parts of his soul, but his inability to recall anything for the past nine years left him feeling more vulnerable than he’d ever been. “I don’t fucking know you!” he yelled. His hands gripped her arms tightly, and he shook her once before releasing her quickly to step back. He ran his fingers through his closed cropped hair, and felt like he was was losing control.

“That’s not true. I saw you when I walked in the dining room tonight! You smelled me before you saw me. Before you even turned around! You stiffened… just for a moment. You may not recognize me, but the scent of me affected you.” She stepped closer, watching his nostrils flare as the scent of lilacs surrounded him. She saw the fear, confusion, and arousal.

“I don’t know you,” he repeated, but with less conviction.

She stepped so close to him that her breasts pressed against his chest. She stared up into his deep blue eyes. “We have a daughter together, John. Her name is Belle. You delivered her on a stormy night in a cabin last year in October! You love me! I love you! You have to remember me… please,” she begged, reaching up to stroke his jaw. “Please, remember me. When you smelled me, I know something happened. I know it.”

John sneered at her, grabbing her hand and pulling it away from his jaw. Her touch felt like it burned him. He didn’t understand it. He wanted to get as far away from her as he could… and he wanted to wrap his arm around her waist as an excuse to feel the heat of her body even tighter against his. Roughly he said, “All I know is that a gorgeous, sexy  woman has been throwing herself at me all night.”

Her voice was soft and husky when she said, “If that’s what you want me to believe, but I know you’re lying. It affects you, and you may not know why… but I do.”

John laughed sardonically, “I’m lying? Listen, lady, all I want from you is sex, and you’re giving off some strong signals. I can’t even remember the last time I had sex—”

” –two weeks ago…” she whispered. She slid her hand up his chest. “… with me.”

His heart stuttered, as he processed what she was saying to him, and then stared into her hazel eyes. He fought to pull air into his lungs, and as he shook, his head bent towards her. “No. Stefano wouldn’t have allowed that.”

“You were supposed to be unconscious,” she said, sliding her hips against his. He reached out snagging her wrists in his hands, and walked her back against the wall, pinning her there. She felt his cock pressing into her hip, and heard his low groan, as she pushed back against him. “When Stefano found out… he took you away from me.”

He wanted her so badly, and to keep himself from acting on that, he slammed her wrists against the wall, and growled at her, “Stop fucking moving! I don’t remember you! I don’t fucking remember anything!”

Marlena stared at him with tears in her eyes, “You are lying. You’re lying to me!” No matter what he said, he couldn’t lie away his reaction to her when she’d first entered the dining room downstairs. Even then, he couldn’t deny the baser level that he was reacting to her on. His body was hard, and he was breathing her in like he needed her scent to get his next fix.

Glancing at the open bathroom door, she started to worry. “You need to leave. You’ve been gone too long, and Stefano will check the cameras… or have Izan do it. He’s going to look for you.” The breath caught in her chest as she gasped, “He’s going to be suspicious!”

John felt like he was losing his mind, and he didn’t know who to trust, but the draw towards her was so strong, it was getting harder to deny. She was trying to help him. He looked at her for a moment, and said the first thing that popped into his mind, “What do you know about zen?”

Her heart skipped and then started to beat even faster. She wanted to push him, see whether she could have a breakthrough with him. “You said that to me once.” Pushing her hips against him once more, and she said, “And then you made love to me on a conference room table.”

“Fuck,” he moaned, feeling his cock throb in his pants. He didn’t remember that part. He’d only woken up with the memory of soft blonde hair against his cheek, and the words, what do you know about zen. Nothing else. His head dropped closer to her. “I dreamt…”

“You have to leave, John,” she whispered. “But before you go, you need to kiss me. Taste my lips, and you’ll know… I’m not lying to—”

Before she finished her sentence, his mouth was on her with a fierceness she had never felt from him. He tasted the same, and she knew, even while he had no real recollection of her, the taste of her mouth would trigger memories. John bit at her lips, sliding his tongue into the warm recesses of her mouth, and moaned like a man starved. His lips moved down her neck, and his tongue licked over her skin. Pulling back he said to her, “Fuck… you taste so good.”

“I’ll help you remember, John. I promised. But now, you need to leave. I’m nervous, and I don’t trust Stefano leaving us alone together. You’ve been in here too long,” she whispered. “Stefano will get suspicious.”

At her mention of Stefano’s name, John released her quickly, stepping back, and looking at her as if he was surprised by his own actions. She had drawn him into another world, leading him with soft words and the scent of lilacs. “I shouldn’t have— I have to go,” he said, and walked out of the room, leaving Marlena standing there with a soft smile on her kiss-swollen lips. 

Marlena heard the key in the door as he locked her in the room. He may not remember her yet, but he would. She would attack his senses at every turn until recognition dawned in his eyes. 

John leaned against the wall further down the hallway, staring at the ceiling. He had more questions than answers, but there were two things he was absolutely sure of: he knew her scent as if it were branded on a different plane of his mind, and the taste of her mouth was still exploding on his tongue. Stefano was keeping the truth from him, but John knew her. Marlena. The beautiful, blonde, hazel eyed beauty locked in the Blake Suite was someone he had known.

Chapter 9 – The John Black’s

Stefano stared at Izan with fury, although his anger was not directed at him. “How did Celeste end up captured?” he roared, pounding his fist on the desk in front of him. 

“The house… Mansion Blanche was abandoned when the men arrived, Mr. DiMera. Even the staff were gone,” Izan said. He’d received the call from Bart only a few minutes before. Celeste was in jail, Gina was in Salem, and Gio was on the run. Gio wouldn’t last long. Stefano wouldn’t allow treachery. “Celeste turned herself in to the ISA. She contacted them, and she went willingly into their custody.”

“That makes no sense!” Stefano yelled. “I sent Celeste back to the house with Gina. I sent Gio to watch over them. He was supposed to make sure they stayed there! They are all gone?”

“They are, Sir… however, since we know the whereabouts of Celeste and Gina–” Stefano’s hard stare cut him off. 

Izan stayed silent. Stefano understood that his plan was upside down. Celeste had turned herself in. Gina was back in Salem and under the watch of the ISA, and Gio was gone. Vanished into the thunderstorm that last night at Maison Blanche. Stefano took a deep breath. “How bad is it?”

“Gina is in Salem… and the ISA is already involved–”

“ –where is Bart?” Stefano stood up from his desk, kicking his chair out of the way. “Where is Bart?”

“He’s still at Maison Blanche–”

“ – I do not pay him to take glorified vacations while my whole plan unravels before my eyes! I want him here! Today!” He stepped around his desk, and headed towards the drink cart on the other side of the room. His hand shook as he reached for the brandy, and he hated that Izan could see his weakness. “I want a full report from him tonight, and I want you and Käwika to travel to Salem immediately. I need to know exactly how much the ISA knows. I want to know if she is still Gina. Do you understand?”

Izan nodded his head, and left the room. He sighed. He didn’t want to travel to Salem, but sending Bart was not a good idea. Bart had his uses, but staying low and being inconspicuous were not his talents. 

Stefano wanted to know if the ISA had discovered the microchip housed in the base of Gina’s skull. If they had, then his whole plan might be ruined. Taking Käwika wasn’t ideal, but Izan was the one tasked with training him so it was inevitable. Izan rolled his shoulders and headed towards the den to make the phone call to Maison Blanche. Stefano finally had John Black back in his clutches, only to lose the other pieces. Izan would be glad to be out of the house when Bart arrived, but he didn’t want to be the one to deliver bad news if Gina was out of Stefano’s reach. His biggest fear was becoming another mercenary without a past, because Stefano didn’t kill traitors.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John stared at Marlena as he entered her room. She’d refused to come to breakfast, as well as lunch. She needed to eat. He wasn’t sure why he’d done it, but after she was again noticeably absent at the second meal of the day, he’d taken it upon himself to make sure she was fed. He shoved a napkin wrapped sandwich towards her without words as he entered her room and softly closed the door behind. She stared up at him with wide hazel eyes, reaching for it.

“Eat,” he said, locking her door from the inside. “But you must be at dinner tonight.”

“Is that your request… or Stefano’s order?” she asked softly.

“Does it matter?” It was his request. He had a plan to get some time with her, and he needed her to be at dinner for Stefano to allow him to take her back to her room later. Otherwise, she would remain locked where she was. 

“It matters.” She glanced over her shoulder at the camera in the corner of the room.

“The cameras are on a loop for the next ten minutes. You can speak freely,” he told her.

Marlena was surprised. He understood her wariness about the cameras. “What about last night?”

“I took care of that.” He wouldn’t add more. He wasn’t sure what his motivation was. He’d gone back the night before and spliced the part where she’d dragged him in into the bathroom. He’d also noticed that she’d torn out the camera in the bathroom. “Eat.”

She unwrapped the sandwich, staring at it oddly. Peanut butter and jelly. A small smile turned up at the corners of her mouth just before she took a bite. She felt like she was starving, but peanut butter and jelly was her secret love when it came to food. How interesting that out of every food option that likely existed in Stefano’s kitchen, John had brought her that. Swallowing down her first bite, she said, “I’d like to see Stefano’s library. I assume he has one.”

“He does,” John replied, watching her take another bite of the soft bread. Her neck was so slim, and he watched the muscles work as she ate. He was fascinated with the way her hair curled around it. She had the loveliest hair. It caught the light, shining in honey, amber, and gold. When he’d kissed her the evening before it had felt like silk falling between his fingers. She moaned softly as she took another bite, and he turned quickly, feeling his body start to ache. He needed to leave.

“Wait,” she said with a full mouth. “The library… I was hoping to get a book. Something to keep me busy. There is nothing to do locked in here. No television… no radio, and no books.”

John sighed, facing her again. She made eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich entirely too sexy. “Which book would you like?”

“Oh… I guess I have to pick one.” She took another bite, and chewed slowly as she thought about it. “Um, Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice… The Great Gatsby. I don’t imagine Stefano has anything more contemporary. He seems like someone who lives and dies by the classics.”

John smirked, but said nothing as she took another bite of her sandwich. A dollop of strawberry jam sat at the corner of her mouth, and he suddenly had a moment where he saw himself feeding her a fresh strawberry dripping with cream. He stepped back quickly. Trying to figure out where the image had come from. A fantasy, or a memory?

Marlena watched him, and reached up, wiping the jam from her face with a nervous laugh. “I don’t usually make such a mess.”

He felt his heart stutter when she tipped her pink tongue out, and slid her finger into her mouth. Holding in a groan, he clenched his fists. “I’ll bring you a novel. I have a few in my room.”

Popping the last bit of sandwich in her mouth, Marlena intentionally closed her eyes, and gave a soft moan. When she opened them, she realized that John had stepped closer, like she’d pulled him closer involuntarily. “What does this version of you like to read?” she asked with genuine curiosity.

“Is there a wrong answer?” He smiled, and then glanced at his watch. “Two minutes.” Holding his hand out for the napkin, his fingers dragged along her as he wrapped his hand around it. She was entirely too tempting for all of the wrong reasons. There was no doubt that physically, he wanted her, but there was a deeper draw that made him even more uncomfortable. It made him splice camera footage, and it had him putting the video feed on loop so he could converse with her in secret. He was breaking all of the rules for a woman who claimed to know him. He was risking his future. That didn’t stop him, as he swallowed thickly and said, “I’ll come get you for dinner. Gotta go.”

“Wait,” she said quickly, reaching for his wrist. “I’d like… I’d like to speak with you later. After dinner.”

He stared down at where she held him. His pulse was surging, and he knew she could feel it. He glanced at the camera in the corner of her room, and then checked his watch. One minute. Looking down at her, he told her roughly, “After dinner.”

John left her standing there as he closed the door behind him. She heard the clock click, and whispered to herself with a knowing smile, “After dinner.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hope stared in awe at the art supplies Shane brought to Alice’s house. They’d decided that she, Bo, and Shawn D would stay with Alice while Hope continued to adjust to life in Salem. Plus, Alice loved having them with her. “Art supplies?” she asked, glancing between Bo, Shane, and Abe.

“You were asking for them,” Bo said.

“I was, but I thought maybe a few colored pencils or some acrylics. I wasn’t expecting all of this,” she said softly.

Shane glanced over the haul, setting five canvases on the floor near the entryway. “If you’re capable of what we think you are, the ISA will foot the bill. The paints are oil based, and the canvases… if you need larger we can get those as well. There are also brushes, brush cleaner, charcoals, pastels–”

“ –it’s more than enough,” she said with a wide smile. Her fingers tingled, and her arms trembled. It was the anticipation, and the joy she knew she would feel as the paint spread over the canvas. 

“We were also hoping you might be able to help us with our investigation,” Abe told her.

Hope laughed, “An ulterior motive?”

“We need a drawing of Giovanni Nero,” Shane said. Another nameless, faceless mercenary. Another Pawn. It wasn’t lost on him that the man’s name literally translated to John Black. “You saw him, correct? He was a fixture in Maison Blanche?”

Hope was quiet for a moment. “I knew him. He was quiet, and very young. I don’t think he would have been any older than twenty-five. Possibly younger. He was reserved, and… there was a sadness about him.”

“He was unhappy?” Abe asked her curiously. “How would you know that?”

“Unhappiness lives in the eyes, Abe.” She was quiet for a moment, and then she said, “It lives in the soul… Is he… like me? Like John?”

Shane watched as Hope lifted a sketchbook and a drawing pencil from the box of supplies. Softly he said, “We think so. We found evidence at Maison Blanche of at least two other possible mercenaries. Men who might have had their pasts stolen from them. All with the name John Black in different languages.”

“Fucking hell,” Bo said softly. He sat on Alice’s flowered couch, and shook his head in disbelief. 

“The ISA is looking for Giovanni Nero, but also Johann Schwartz, and João Preto.” Shane walked over to the French doors that looked out over Alice’s rose garden. “There may be more. Stefano’s world is slowly unraveling around him, but now that he knows we have you…” He turned to face Hope where she sat in Tom’s chair with a sketchpad balanced on her knee. “He’s going to become even more dangerous… desperate to hold onto what he believes is his.”

“He’s ruined the lives of four men,” Abe said. “Possibly more. By making them mercenaries, he has stolen their lives.”

The room fell silent as Hope sketched Gio’s face capturing the sadness in his brown eyes. Her own tears splashed against the corner of the paper as she drew. Her life would never be the same. John’s face flashed in her memory, a complex mix of her own familial love combined with Gina’s obsessive love. She pushed it away. Stefano had destroyed so many lives. With one last pencil stroke, she took a deep breath. It was done.

She looked up to find all three men watching her intently. Slowly she placed the pencil on the small table beside the chair, and then she tore the page from the pad. Shane reached for it, but she held it close to her chest. “You won’t hurt him?”

Shane wished he could promise her that, but until they were face to face with Gio, he couldn’t be sure. “I will promise you, we will do everything in our power to ensure that he’s not injured. We think he’s on the run from Stefano, and scared men are unpredictable.”

“He stopped Stefano from raping me,” she whispered softly. “There were so many times when a well placed interruption, or him clearing his throat nearby might have saved me. He’s rough, he seems… unfeeling, but there’s something there.”

Bo stared at his wife, and felt the tears sting his own eyes, when Hope said, “Stefano takes the men with the most kindness in their hearts, and he… he tries to destroy them.”

Shane took the drawing and stared down into the face on the page. With a shocked whisper, he said, “My G-d! He’s so young.”

Chapter 10 – It All Started with a Handshake and a Smile

Sami stared at the sleeping man in the shed behind her house. The night before she’d gone out there to find the battery operated lantern that John had kept when he was her dad. The electricity had gone out, and the storm outside had been raging. What she hadn’t expected to find was the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen in her life, soaking wet, and passed out in the corner. Curly dark brown hair had dripped along his cheek as he was curled underneath the shelving against the back wall, and in her whole life she’d never seen someone so large appear so vulnerable. He must have been nearly six and a half feet tall with wide shoulders, but in sleep his face had seemed so innocent. Instead of telling Roman, who wasn’t home anyway, she’d left the man there, and ran back inside making sure the doors and windows were locked.

She stared at him then, nudging him with her foot, “Hey… hey.”

He startled violently, throwing his arm up. He hit the shelving above him, causing it to rattle with items. Wide brown eyes flecked with amber stared at her in surprise, and disorientation. Glancing around, he seemed to be confused about where he was.

Sami sounded bored when she said, “You’re in my shed. Behind my house. I found you here last night.” In one hand she held a paperbag and in the other a cast iron skillet. “If you try to hurt me, I swear I’ll beat you to death. Don’t think I won’t.”

Gio stared at the girl as if she were some sort of angel. She was standing over him in a pair of pink pajamas with a robe hanging open. It was covered in some sort of llama pattern, and combined with the fuzzy pink slippers, she didn’t seem to be too frightening. Although she was trying to look fierce. She had the straightest hair he’d ever seen, blonde, hanging to her waist… and those eyes. The palest, blue eyes he’d ever seen. Definitely an angel. He rubbed his hands over his face trying to figure out if he was dreaming. He couldn’t remember much from the night before. 

Salem. He was in Salem. He’d tracked Gina that far, but as soon as he’d gone through her medical records at the hospital, he knew it was over for him. She wasn’t Gina anymore. She was Hope, and something about that had left him feeling so lost and alone. He hadn’t realized that he’d come to think of her as family. He’d been feeling lost and alone ever since he’d woken up three years earlier with no memory of who he was or where he came from. He was no one, but according to Stefano, he was Giovanni Nero.

“Shouldn’t you be scared of me?” he asked her in a rough voice.

“Maybe,” Sami replied with a shrug of her shoulders. She lifted the skillet to show him. “Maybe not.” She tossed a small paper lunch bag towards him. “Here’s some food. I figured you might be hungry.”

What was wrong with her? She looked like a child, but she acted like a grown woman. There was a hard edge to her. Like she’d lived a whole other lifetime before that one. He felt that way too. Like his first eighteen years were hiding somewhere in his mind. His eyes narrowed as he pulled a sandwich out of the bag. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen… almost eighteen. Well, I’ll be eighteen in October.” She stared at him for a moment longer, and then she said, “Look, you can’t hide here, and I’ve gotta go see my Aunt Hope. So you, uh… you gotta go. Now.”

Sami turned around to leave, when she heard him ask, “Your Aunt Hope? Hope Brady?”

She spun around, staring at him with intense eyes. Now she was curious. “Who are you?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered. He’d never felt so scared and helpless. His size sometimes frightened people. It was easy to appear older and fiercer than he actually was. But he had no reason to lie to the girl who looked like an angel. He felt hunted, and he was alone. She was his saving grace. The girl with the baby blue eyes and the gold hair. He closed his eyes, remembering how he watched it all unfold in the storm on the pier at the rear of Maison Blanche. He’d walked away. Something had told him to leave, and he did, but now he was lost. He stared up at her, “I need help.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stefano was usually calm and collected, but as the antique porcelain vase hurled just inches from his head, Bart was starting to question everything. “Look, Boss! I had nothin’ to do with it! They were gone when I got there, and I–”

“ –I do not want your excuses, Bart! I want to know why you left your post at Maison Blanche, and lost Celeste, Gina, and Gio!” Stefano’s face had become red and puffy in his anger. Spittle flew from his enraged lips, and Bart stepped back.

“Well, you see, Boss, you leavin’ Maison Blanche that night, that was unexpected, and I had a tip on a thoroughbred that was going to be racing–” He stopped and jumped to the side as a small marble bust flew at his chest. “I wasn’t expectin–”

“You are a fool!” Stefano roared. “An imbecile!”

“Maybe, I can fix this. I can go to Salem–”

“You will not go anywhere near Salem! You will stay here, and you will watch over Marlena and John. I have sent Izan and Käwika to Salem.” Stefano finally sat back down in the chair behind his desk. He stared at Bart. “You will stay here, where I can watch you.”

Bart stayed silent, waiting. He was stuck on the island babysitting John Black and Marlena Evans. That meant that he would not be meeting up with the woman he’d met at the race track. He was beginning to question his life choices.

Stefano took a deep breath, attempting to calm himself down. “You need to watch John and Marlena very closely. Rolf is sure that his modifications to John’s memory have been successful. I cannot move forward with the plan unless I am completely certain–”

“ –boss, how’s that gonna work without Gina?” Bart regretted speaking as soon as the words fell from his lips.

“That is not your concern!” Glancing out the window, Stefano said, “I will have John working with her. I need to be sure she does not affect him. I want to be notified of any suspicious behavior. If I have lost Gina, I must ensure that I have John. Do you understand?”

“You got it, boss. Watch them. Report to you.” Bart started picking at his cuticles as if the conversation were over. Wasn’t it? It wasn’t his first choice but it was better than being dead.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Marlena stared at the book in her hand. “The Bourne Identity?”

John was confused, “You asked for a novel. I just finished that one, so you can have it.”

He was so adorable, and he had no idea. John had already read this book. Several times if she was remembering correctly. He had no recollection from the look on his face. “Did you enjoy it?”

“Yes. I’m reading the Bourne Supremacy now. You can have it when I’m done.” He glanced up at the video camera and then at his watch. “I have to go. After dinner tonight, I’d like to hear more… of our story.”

Marlena smiled, “I didn’t bore you to death with the story of Shenanigans?”

“No,” he said softly. “No. I was… I was worried that you might be lying to me, but it felt genuine. It didn’t feel exaggerated.” He swallowed thickly, wishing he could stay longer, but Stefano would have Bart looking for him soon. “I gotta go.”

“Ok,” she whispered. “We’ll talk after dinner.”

The door closed softly, and she walked towards the chair she had pulled over next to the window. The sun shone brightly over the forest canopy, and the birds were calling to each other. If she closed her eyes, she could imagine she was in paradise. Some might argue that she was. But when the lock clicked on the door, she knew she was in hell.

Marlena allowed herself to fall into the chair. Staring blankly at the wall, she remembered her time with John the night before. He was a stranger. He looked at her with curious eyes. He seemed so hesitant with her, and she understood why. But she didn’t have any of that hesitation.

The door closed, and Marlena turned around to find him watching her. “So, talk, huh?”

“I have questions,” he said hesitantly. “I… I find myself unwilling to ask Stefano or Rolf.”

“But you trust me?” She watched him intently. He’d lost that hard edge he’d had the day before when she caught him off guard and he’d been afraid. What she saw then was the same quiet, curious man he’d been when she first met him in Salem. Kind, but wary. Scared. “Why do you think that is?”

He laughed. “What are you? A head shrink?”

“We prefer the term Psychiatrist, but yes… I suppose the layman’s term might be something similar.” She walked towards the small sitting area on the right side of the room. She started to sit, and then paused. “How much time do we have?”

“A while,” he said, following her. “I set the cameras to put footage of you from last night on a loop. You’ll be in the shower and then asleep for the next few hours.”

“Stefano trusts you that much?” She sank into the green striped sofa, watching as he went to the flowered chair on the other side. She couldn’t help smiling softly at the amount of space he was putting between them. 

“Stefano… is dealing with a situation.” John wasn’t sure how much to say, so he only told her, “Something isn’t working out the way he wanted. He’s… distracted.” He wasn’t fully aware of the issue, but he knew that Stefano had sent Käwika and Izan away. Stefano had been very secretive, whispering with Rolf for much of the day.

“Ah,” she said softly. She closed her eyes for a moment, listening to the birds outside. “It seems so beautiful, but then that’s what Stefano does. Isn’t it? Puts people in gilded cages and tries to convince them they are happy? He clips wings so he can keep them as pets.” John seemed uncomfortable, and she asked, “Have you seen him do this before?”

He didn’t answer her. He couldn’t. Rachel Blake’s death was still something he would never forget. If Rolf had any skill he would have taken that from John. It still haunted him in his dreams. Her body aflame, her screams… and the fact that she’d chosen to take her own life in such a violent way. Stefano had wept that night. John still wondered if perhaps Stefano had really loved her, or simply cried for having lost her.

“I don’t know why I’m asking.” She glanced down at her hands, and then back towards John. “Of course, he has. Isn’t this the Blake Suite? It doesn’t take much to make the connection. Kristen and her brother Peter… their last name is Blake.”

He was uncomfortable, and a part of him still felt as if he were betraying Stefano simply by being there with her. He was curious though. “Why is he so fascinated with you?”

“Obsessed,” she said, correcting him. “Stefano takes fascination to the extreme. You must know that.” Pulling her legs up beside her, she sighed. She wanted John closer, but she knew she was walking a fine line in trying to earn his trust. “About nine years ago, Stefano sent you to Salem. I met you there… he was already intrigued by me then… but I think I should tell you our story, John. You and I. The first time I met you, you were bandaged. In fact, I didn’t realize it was you until several months later when you told me.”

She pushed her hair over her shoulder, and her eyes took on a faraway look. “I remember feeling so much in a single moment. I had no idea who you were, but your eyes… so blue and expressive, they said more than words ever could. Your face was wrapped in bandages, but they were dirty, and I wanted you to allow the nurse to change them. I was concerned about infection… you agreed. I went to arrange for the nurse to come… and then you were gone when I returned.”

Memories started to blur at the edges, and John whispered, “Salem?” That was one of his last memories before his accident, as Rolf and Stefano referred to his missing nine years. “Stefano wanted to… he wanted to send me on a mission to Salem.” He stared at her with dawning horror. 

Marlena leaned forward, “John… are you okay?”

He stood up quickly, “No… I think I need to go.”

She tumbled from the couch, rushing towards him before he could leave the room. “Don’t! Don’t! Talk to me…” She reached up, touching his face while noting that his eyes had the look of a captured animal. “What is it?”

“You… he was sending me to you?” He stared down at Marlena in awe. “My last mission, the one that I fought with Stefano over… it was in Salem. A woman with three children. I didn’t… I didn’t want to go. Stefano was taking me away from Gina. He was forcing me–”

“ –Gina? That’s what Stefano called the woman at Maison Blanche.” Marlena’s hand dropped. She was so confused. The women at Maison Blanche had been Hope, but Stefano had called her Gina. 

“Gina’s dead,” he said flatly. “I overheard Rolf say she died six years ago.”

“I know a woman named Hope. She died a few years ago… or so we thought. I saw her at Maison Blanche, and Stefano called her Gina. I don’t understand.” Marlena walked towards the window, and stood there leaning against the frame. She ran her fingers over the filigree bars that caged her inside as her mind twirled and danced. Turning to face John, she said, “Stefano gave you my husband’s memories… is it possible that he gave Hope… Gina’s memories?”

John rubbed his hands over his face. “Look, lady, you’ve got to start over. I don’t understand.”

She smiled at him so sweetly. He was right. It was all so confusing, and even more so for him. “You’ve lived a whole other life, John.”

He wanted nothing more than to listen to her sweet voice for hours. Sinking back into the flower covered chair, he watched her. “Tell me.”

Marlena moved closer, actually sitting on the floor near his feet while resting her spine against the sofa. Her head fell back, and her smile lit him up from the inside out. “My car was giving me trouble in the parking lot of a restaurant called Shenanigans… and it all started with a handshake, John Black.”

Chapter 11 – Kisses in the Garden

Sami waited until her Uncle Bo left the room. This was her third day visiting with Hope, and she knew Bo was wondering why. Sami had spent the last year pushing everyone in her life as far away as she could. Her sudden interest in Hope would arouse every police instinct her uncle had. Her heart was racing and her palms were sweating. She was second guessing every single thing she was about to do, but even still, she had to help Gio. He couldn’t live in her shed forever. Leaning forward she said to Hope, “I’ve done something… and I might be in trouble for it. I need your help.”

Hope stared at her niece. Sami had grown and matured so much in the years that she’d been gone. She was smart, sassy, and impulsive. She was also angry. At Marlena. At John, and more recently, at Roman. It had taken Hope less than a week to realize that. Now as Sami leaned close, she stared at her in surprise. 

“I just… I need you to come with me, and not ask any questions,” Sami said hurriedly. “Don’t tell Uncle Bo. Please? Just come to my house… please?”

Bo came back into the room, and said, “Fancy Face, I’ve got to head to the station for a little while. Are you okay here with Sami?”

“Do I need to pick up Shawn D from your parents?” Hope asked. She glanced at Sami, but didn’t say anything to Bo about their niece’s odd request. When she was a teenager she’d gotten into so much trouble, and Bo had been the one to bail her out of half of it. She would help Sami, and then decide what to do from there.

Waving Hope off as she started to stand, Bo said, “No, no. Stay here, maybe show Sami the art you’ve done. I’ll grab Shawn D on the way home.” He kissed her forehead softly. “I’ll be back in about an hour.”

Hope didn’t say anything else as he left the house, while Sami called out cheerfully, “Bye, Uncle Bo!” That girl was up to something. 

The door closed, and Hope stared at her with narrowed eyes. “What did you do?”

“Can you come to my house? It’s… um, it’s something I have to show you,” she whispered. Her blood pulsed, and she had to hope that her heart was steering her in the right direction. It was possible that Gio was a sadistic murderer with the eyes of an angel, but his story was John’s story, and he seemed to need Hope. In her head she said, please let him not be a serial killer. Something inside her said that if she helped Gio, maybe, just maybe, she could earn back John’s love. Maybe then her Daddy would love her again, but what Sami didn’t realize was that it was the faulted thinking of a child, since she’d never lost John’s love to begin with.

“Is it dangerous?” Hope asked.

Sami thought, and then said, “I don’t think so… but he said–”

“He?” Hope repeated with growing alarm. “Sami, who is he?”

Sami sighed, standing up. “It’s Gio… he’s hiding in my shed, and he’s, um, he’s asking for you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“It’s fucking hot out here,” Bart mumbled to himself as he watched John and Marlena walk into the dense back garden. He was supposed to be right behind them, but it was uncomfortably muggy following a late afternoon rain. “I don’t know why I have to babysit when John has obviously been turned back into the same asshole he was back in ‘85.”

“You are going to watch them because I am not entirely certain that John is the man he used to be,” Stefano said, coming to stand behind him.

Bart startled wildly, flailing his arms. “Shit, boss! Warn a man before you come sneakin’ up on him for G-d’s sake!”

“I want to know if they seem too familiar with each other, Bart. I want to know if a glance lasts for longer than is proper, or if a touch seems too intimate. Do you understand?” Stefano asked him.

“I do, but damn boss, it’s hot out today,” Bart complained. “I could watch them from the upstairs window with the ceiling fan blowin’ and that would feel much–” He stopped speaking when Stefano gave him a hard stare. 

In a low voice, Stefano told him, “ –you will watch them as I instructed. Do you understand, Bart? Marlena will be trying to get John to remember his past with her, and I must know if he starts to recall anything.”

“Yeah. Yeah,” Bart mumbled. “I got it.” He sullenly trudged down the stairs at the side of the house. Entering the garden caused the humidity to almost double. Bart wiped at the perspiration along his forehead, feeling his frustration rise. He was a fucking glorified babysitter, and he always had been. Sure the pay was great, but he wanted to be in the mix of things. He wanted to be the one with a gun, sneaking around, and getting the heavy jobs done. His foot caught on a tree root, and he went sprawling face and hands into a birds of paradise plant. He groaned, “Fuck.”

Getting to his feet, he glanced around as he tried to get the sticky mud off of his palms. Which direction had John and Marlena gone in? Bart listened intently, mumbling for the second time, “Fuck.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Marlena reached for John’s hand as they made their way deeper into the garden, he took several turns and she trusted to simply follow him. They both knew that Stefano had Bart watching them. He’d been watching them for days. She was quiet, waiting for John to speak. When he did, he said, “So the first time I tried to kiss you, you ran away?”

“I was confused,” she said softly. “I wasn’t sure if I could trust my feelings for you. I’d fallen in love with you as John, and yet… you said things and did things that reminded me so much of Roman. I know why now, but I didn’t understand it then… and there was a part of me that feared you were Stefano.”

John smirked, stopping to stare down at her. “You thought I was Stefano?”

She smacked his arm lightly. “I said I was confused!” she laughed. 

“So, when you ran away, did I follow you?” he wondered.

“Of course, you followed me. You’d been tracking me through the woods the whole time–”

“ –but you told me yesterday that I’d allowed you to go at one point, and you came back to me,” he whispered softly. This woman was drawing him in with her stories. They brought feelings he didn’t understand, and dreams that fled him as soon as he opened his eyes in the morning. He didn’t know how to hang onto them, and he craved those chances to sneak away with her – if only to hear her soft voice tell him about moments he couldn’t remember. “Willingly.”

“I did. I did…” She was quiet for a moment, remembering their second kiss. She laced her fingers through his. “You know the second time you kissed me, I smacked you.”

“Not a good track record for me, and yet you say we have a child that resulted from an affair.” The humidity had tendrils of Marlena’s hair curling around her face, and sticking to her neck. John reached out, tucking one behind her ear. Her breath caught as she stared up at him.

“I was already in love,” she whispered. “I couldn’t lie to myself forever. Our third kiss was near the edge of the Gauley River… you kissed me until we were both breathless. I loved you. I was in love with you, and I knew I couldn’t fight it anymore.”

“I didn’t want to be taken away from Gina. That’s how I felt when Stefano told me he had a job for me… and yet, when I look at you now, I feel a certain sense of rightness that I don’t understand.” He continued to stare at her, saying softly, “He took my memory, and he  allowed me to fall in love with you.”

“But you don’t remember loving me,” she said.

“I know myself, Marlena. I know who I am, and my body would never allow me to forget a woman I loved. I may not have memories of you, but you make me feel things… that’s not imagined.” He trailed his fingers across her cheek, and a quick flash of a photograph projected onto a wall came to him. His chest tightened. Marlena. But different. Younger. 

She saw the change in his eyes, and the way his breathing seemed to stall. He’d remembered something. “What did you see?”

John stared at her for several beats, before he replied, “It was nothing.”

“I don’t believe you.” Marlena dropped his hand and stepped back. “I’m being so honest with you it’s painful. I need the same from you, or this won’t work.”

“Look, lady. I’m not even sure what you hope to get from this okay? I said I don’t remember you. Maybe I’m just humoring you with storytime,” he said roughly. He regretted saying it as soon as the words left his lips, but he didn’t apologize. 

“I’d like to go back to my room,” Marlena whispered. She felt ridiculous for being hurt. The man in front of her was a complete stranger. He had no knowledge of her, and she had no knowledge of who he was… at least then. She was trying to pull back the man she’d loved. The man she still loved. “I think that’s enough for today.”

He was unwilling to say goodbye, but unable to ask her to stay. Instead he asked her, “Are there other ways that people get their memories back? I mean, other ways besides talking about the past?”

Marlena started walking again, trailing her fingers over the soft fronds of a fern as she passed by. She could hear John behind her, his feet almost silent in the dense foliage. She sighed, “The memory can be triggered by several things. Talking about the past, or telling stories is one way. But there are other ways. Scent is important.” She turned to face John, and saw for a split second his open vulnerability. She softened slightly. “Stefano thinks himself a genius, when in fact he’s done something quite ignorant. In an attempt to make me comfortable he purchased my favorite shampoos, lotions, and even my favorite perfume.”

“I don’t understand.” But then again maybe he did. That first night, when he’d smelled lilacs. He’d immediately tensed without understanding why. That night he’d felt as if a spell had been woven around him, and it had only served to increase his agitation without fully understanding why. 

Marlena whispered to him, touching his cheek gently, “You understand. It’s the same reason I allowed you to kiss me. Taste will often elicit memories as well.”

Her fingers against his jaw caused something to stir inside him. He wouldn’t say it was memory, but it was familiarity. Safety. Warmth. He leaned into her touch, and without thought he slid his large hand around her waist, and under the hem of her flowy cotton blouse. Her skin was damp with perspiration, and he closed his eyes. He’d never been struck by desire so fast in his life. It was instant, and then his cock was filling. 

Marlena was a siren and she would drag him to his demise if he didn’t step away from her. Instead, he groaned. Opening his eyes, he saw her watching him with golden, amber colored eyes. He felt as if she read every emotion on his face. If she knew him as well as she claimed to know him, perhaps she did. She stepped closer, into his arms, and then she leaned against him, brushing her lips across his. As she was pulling back, he tasted her, sliding his tongue across her lips quickly.

Her breath stuttered, and she passed her own tongue across her lips tasting John. Tears welled in her eyes, and she glanced away. She missed him so much, and having his flavor on her mouth had her on the verge of sobbing. John’s voice was rough when he said, “If I kiss you again, will you promise not to smack me?”

Marlena cried softly, and then turned and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. When his lips came down on hers, she opened to him, allowing his warm tongue into the recesses of her mouth with a soft moan of desire. Threading her fingers into the sweat damp hair at the nape of John’s neck, she pulled him even closer, unwilling to let him go.

Marlena heard the footsteps of someone else before she saw them. Pushing John away roughly, her eyes met his in silent understanding just before she smacked him, crying out, “Don’t touch me!”

Fucking Bart. John was frustrated with himself that he’d been so caught up in Marlena’s kiss that he’d missed Bart’s approach entirely. Playing along, he smirked, “Look lady, I was just trying to see if it was true or not. You were the one who said we were married. You’d think I’d remember kissing someone with lips like yours.”

Bart rolled his eyes, “Stefano said I gotta tell him if you two get up to something. That looked like somethin’.”

John stepped closer to Bart, staring down at him with emotionless blue eyes, “You sure you want to do that? Seems to me you’re only here because you lost track of Celeste and some woman. How’s Stefano going to react knowing you lost sight of us, and then caught me kissing the woman he desires? I’m thinking it might be best to keep this little incident to yourself.” He rubbed the blooming red handprint he knew was on his face, and he added, “Pretty sure the lady let me know how she feels about kissing.”

Bart glanced between them, unsure of what to say. John was right. If he reported this to Stefano, he’d be in even more trouble. It never should have progressed to that point. He was supposed to report long glances and intimate touches. Kissing was far past the boundaries Stefano had set. 

John glanced at Marlena, aware that Bart was watching everything, “I’m sorry I overstepped. It won’t happen again.”

She watched him turn on his heel and start to walk away. All she wanted was to be back in his arms. Instead she felt the sting on her palm where her hand had connected with John’s face.

Chapter 12 – When Plans Go Awry

Marlena woke to the soft caress of John’s fingers across her cheek. Her eyes fluttered, staring up to find his concerned eyes watching for her reaction. The silvery light of the moon seemed to fade and bleach everything, and yet John’s eyes remained a vibrant blue. His voice sounded rough as he told her softly, “Bart fell asleep, and I put the cameras on a loop.”

“What time is it?” Marlena asked, rolling on her side to stare up at him.

“It’s almost five o’clock. The sun should be rising soon… I wanted to see you. After yesterday in the garden, and then your refusal to come down for dinner–”

“I’m sorry I smacked you… it was the only thing I could think to do.” Her eyes strayed down to his mouth and then back up. “I feel like I owe you do-over,” she said quietly.

She was so beautiful. Her hair spread around her pillow like a silvery halo causing him to reach down and slide it through his fingers. He shouldn’t be touching her at all. He shouldn’t have even been in her room. He was playing a dangerous game, but he couldn’t stay away. “I think I dream about you. I wake up, and there are images that sit on the fringe of my memory only to disappear as soon as I’m fully awake. You want to explain that one to me, Doc?”

Marlena’s eyes went wide in surprise, and she scrambled to sit up. “What? What did you just call me? You called me Doc.”

He was confused, pulling back slightly. “Is that wrong? Offensive somehow?”

“No. No. No, no, no,” she said breathlessly. “No, John. No. It’s perfect. It’s absolutely perfect. If it came naturally… it’s perfect.”

“I’m assuming there’s a story there,” he replied.

Marlena smiled, reaching out to trace her fingers over his lips. “There is… and you must never, never call me Doc anywhere near Stefano.” She shivered as John gently kissed her fingertips. Pulling her legs up and criss-crossing them in front of her, she leaned towards John, saying, “Roman called me Doc. Almost from the moment we met. I didn’t realize at the time that the majority of the time he used it, it was to scold me, or upbraid me in some manner. He called me Doc when he was frustrated, or upset. It had an edge to it that I wasn’t fully aware of… until I fell in love with you. When we believed you were Roman, Doc went from having a sharpness to becoming soft. A term of endearment. It flowed from your lips so naturally, and the meaning was so different…” She glanced down at where her fingers were laced in her lap, whispering, “When Roman came back and everything became so complicated… that’s when I noticed. I’d forgotten, you know? I’d forgotten so much, because you’d become the perfect version of Roman. I guess I know now it’s because I wasn’t in love with Roman anymore at all. I was in love with John Black, and I had been since Gauley Valley.”

“I don’t know where it came from.” John rose from his knees to sit on the bed beside her. His fingers slid over her collarbone, threading through her hair at the nape of her neck as he murmured, “But it felt so natural.”

She couldn’t help leaning towards him, sighing when his fingers tightened in her hair. “I’d like to think there’s a part of you that’s remembering me… remembering our love.”

He wasn’t sure of any of it, but in the few days he’d spent with her, he could see himself falling in love with her all over again. He tugged her closer, “You owe me another kiss. My cheek is still sore from yesterday afternoon.”

“You asked about ways to trigger memories yesterday,” she whispered. “Taste can trigger memory.” She licked her lips slowly, staring up into those intense blue eyes of his. Softly, barely above a breath, she said, “Taste me.”

He stared down at her upturned face with uncertainty. “Marlena?”

She slipped her index finger between his lips, repeating, “Taste me… kiss me. Please.”

He groaned low in his chest. Leaning forward, he tugged her finger from his mouth, and then lapped his tongue slowly across her bottom lip. Flashes of images came at him in rapid fire, but none of them stayed long enough to hold onto, so he held onto Marlena. Her mouth opened on a soft gasp, and then he was lost in her sweetness as her soft breath wafted over his sensitive lips.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Are you serious right now, Fancy Face?” Bo stared at his wife incredulously as Abe and Shane stood off to the side. They’d been up all night, and he was exhausted. He’d already sent Sami home. She was too young to be caught up in this, and he was furious to find out that she’d been harboring a fugitive for three days. “Gio, or whatever the fuck his name is, cannot stay here!”

Hope stood up straighter, her green eyes flashing. “It’s the Horton Center, Bo! This is what it’s for! He doesn’t want to go back to Stefano, and he doesn’t remember who he is. He’s homeless–”

“ –I could figure something out,” Gio said quickly. “I wouldn’t exactly be homeless.”

“Where are you going to go?” Hope demanded, turning to look at him. He was so large and certainly not helpless, yet there was something in his eyes that seemed so lost. When he didn’t answer, she turned back towards Bo. “You see, Brady? He has no idea, and he’s barely more than a kid himself!”

“I’m not a kid,” Gio said defensively. But he knew he might as well be. When he looked in the mirror, the person looking back at him couldn’t be more than twenty, twenty-one was pushing it. Hope was the only person he could trust. He thought of Sami. He could trust her, but she was so young.

“I know you don’t like the idea, Bo, but I think Hope’s right on this one,” Abe said. “Shane can assign an ISA guard rotation to keep an eye on him, or I can get a couple officers. But having Gio close by will help us with the investigation.”

“And I think,” Shane interjected, “that if we can get some imaging done on Gio’s neck and skull we might find another microchip buried there. The ISA would be very interested in that. In the meantime, Gio is willing to give a statement, and we could potentially locate John and Marlena.”

Bo knew he was beat, but he wasn’t happy about it. If he took Hope and Shawn D back to the boat, that left Alice alone at the Horton Center with Gio and one ISA agent. “I want the scans done today, and I want to meet the agents you plan to use to guard him. Do you understand?” He gave Gio a hard stare, adding, “And stay away from Sami!”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John’s lips still tasted of Marlena when he made his way down to breakfast. She’d refused, which worried him because she’d skipped dinner the evening before. 

Stefano glanced up from his morning newspaper as John entered, and said, “I hope you slept well, John?”

“I did,” he lied, pouring himself a large glass of orange juice. He had, in fact, slept horribly, his sleep inundated with scattered pictures, and moments in time that slipped away like silk threads on a breeze. “I checked on your houseguest, and she is not coming to breakfast.”

“She is stubborn, certainly, but nothing I cannot handle,” Stefano told him, setting his newspaper aside. He was pleased that Bart’s report the evening before had helped him decide to move forward without Gina. He watched John for a moment, finally saying, “I have a job for you. One last art heist.”

“Without Gina?” John asked, wondering exactly how he was going to manage that. Stefano and Rolf had been very closed off when he’d inquired about Gina. 

“It will have to be without Gina. She is no use to me, and her replacement has been compromised.” Stefano said nothing else, even as John watched him in silence for several beats.

Arching an eyebrow, John asked, “Compromised?”

Stefano had heard from a contact at the hospital in Salem that the micro chip in Hope’s neck had been removed. It was now in the custody of the ISA. There was nothing he could do about it, and certainly no way that he would be able to get her back. Not with Bo Brady guarding her night and day. 

“It is none of your concern, but a final painting was completed, so the job will go forward,” Stefano stated. “You will be compensated generously, John. Just as you have been in the past. The money will be sent to the off shore account you have in the Cayman’s. It is a small museum in Munich. Easily handled alone. You can be there and back within a few days.”

Sighing, he asked, “When do I go?”

“Later today. The flight arrangements have already been taken care of,” Stefano stood up as if the conversation were finished. 

John watched him for a moment. He needed to reassure Stefano that his memory of Marlena and his past with her was gone completely. To do that, he needed to behave in a way that would allow Stefano to trust him. Without emotion, he said, “Your dinner guest, Marlena… she was telling me some interesting things yesterday.”

“Be wary of her, John. She is desperate to get out of here, and she will lie to get what she wants,” Stefano said. He was pleased that John was behaving as if whatever Marlena had told him had no effect on his view of her. He seemed almost bored, and that reinforced Stefano’s perception that John had no memory of her whatsoever. “She is an excellent psychiatrist, and she will manipulate your mind if you allow her to.”

“I can’t be manipulated,” John replied, even as he thought that Stefano might be the one manipulating him.

Stefano started to leave the room, saying, “With a beauty such as hers, I would not be so sure. Stay away from her for now. By the time you return I will have her firmly under my control.”

“The same way you had Rachel Blake under your control?” John watched Stefano halt in his tracks.

Turning to face John, Stefano’s eyes held a mixture of rage and remorse. “We do not speak of what happened with Rachel! That was a horrible tragedy. I miscalculated with Rachel. My love for her was too passionate, and she was too weak emotionally to understand it! Marlena is not weak. She has never been weak.”

“But you have to admit, the situations are similar,” John pushed. “You’ve taken Marlena away from her children. She told me as much.”

“If she wants children, I can give them to her. She will forget her old life soon enough. I can give her everything she needs.” Stefano waved his hand indicating that the conversation was over. Before he left the room, he said, “I will not discuss this with you again. We are close, but you overstep. Tell the cook that if Marlena does not dine with me… she does not eat.”

Watching Stefano retreat, John felt uncomfortable. He had watched Stefano time and again as his schemes succeeded or failed, never judging… never caring how the outcomes affected those involved. Until Rachel. What happened with Rachel Blake was a tragedy, and what Stefano did to cover it up was even worse. Kristen and her brother Peter lost their father when Stefano had him murdered. They lost their mother to suicide, and then Stefano, in his own sadistic mind, raised Rachel’s children. He raised them as if he wasn’t the cause of their suffering. Stefano knew, even without John voicing it, that his treatment of Rachel was something that John had never agreed with. You can’t force someone to love you.

Grabbing a table napkin, John placed a banana and a blueberry muffin inside, wrapping it carefully. After informing the cook of Stefano’s newest request regarding Marlena’s meals, John climbed the stairs. 

Bart emerged from the observation room with a yawn. He leaned back, popping his spine and caught sight of John watching him from the top of the staircase. “Perfect,” he mumbled. “My shift is over. Don’t unlock her room until lunch. Boss said she only takes meals with him. You got it?”

“I understand,” John replied.

“So? What are you waitin’ on?” Bart gestured towards the observation room. “Get to gettin’.”

John’s fist clenched at his thigh and his teeth gritted, but his face remained placid as Bart sauntered off to rest. John continued down the hallway towards Marlena’s room. The room he had left only an hour before. Taking the key to her room from his pocket, he opened her door. Marlena’s small frame was curled up in the center of her large bed. Flashes of memory pushed him back, causing his spine to hit the wall beside the door with a dull thud. A myriad of impressions all involving him lying on that bed, moonlight streaming in through the window onto Marlena’s naked body as she rode him. His cock jerked. What the fuck? He stared at her again. Was that real, or imagined?

Marlena moaned in her sleep, rolling onto her back, while unintentionally drawing him nearer to the bed. She was a beautiful woman, that couldn’t be denied. He wanted to know what she meant to him. In the past, Stefano had guided him, and helped him understand things, but since he’d woken there was a distance between them. A sense of distrust on both sides. If what Marlena said was true, there was a reason for that. In the past, Stefano would have helped him. John would have had no problem going to Stefano for guidance, but he was trapped, anticipating looking into hazel eyes, and trusting everything Marlena would say to him. He placed the food he’d brought on the small table in the center of the room.

As if on command, Marlena’s eyes fluttered open, looking up at him, and she smiled, reaching for him. “John.” She was obviously still in that hazy space between awake and asleep.

He suddenly found himself overwhelmed. “I brought you some food. It’s not much, but Stefano said no more food unless you dine with him.”

Looking around the room, the smile fell from Marlena’s face, as she sat up. Her voice was soft as she said, “I forgot where I was for a moment… I forgot who you were.” Staring up into his face, she whispered sadly, “G-d, I wish you were you.”

It hurt to hear her say that, and he couldn’t exactly be sure as to why. “I don’t understand,” he said, still looking down at her, confused by what she was implying. “I am me.” But then he realized what she meant. She was missing him. The man he used to be. The man she trusted.

She suddenly felt frantic to reach him, to somehow convey the urgency of her message. She glanced towards the door, and then whispered, “Don’t trust Stefano. I know you don’t remember me, or the children, but please don’t trust him. He’s not what he may have been to you ten years ago. He’s spent the last nine years playing sick psychological games with you, although I’m sure he’s already told you to be wary of me.”

“He has…” he said watching her, looking for the tell-tell signs of lying, but he couldn’t see any. She seemed to be telling the truth. He wanted her to be telling him the truth.

“When did I fall in love with you?” he asked her suddenly.

“You told me once it was when we argued at the hospital,” she said with a small smile on her face as she remembered. “You were doing hospital security and I was upset about some of the safety guidelines. We argued because you expected female staff to sign in and out of the hospital.” She was quiet for a moment, and then smiled as she told him, “We argued about that several times, but once as we argued you asked me to lunch. I was so surprised, and taken aback at the time.”

“Did you accept?” he asked with genuine curiosity. The pieces were starting to come together, and while he had no real memories, what she had been telling him fit. 

Marlena smiled shyly, “I did.”

“I remember… when I was still with Stefano and Gina…” He started to pace the room, running his hands through his hair. “Stefano said he had a job for me. That I needed to go to a place… I can’t remember the name, some random town… I assume he was talking about Salem. He wanted me to pretend to be a cop, and be married some head shrink with three kids… fuck,” John stopped in his tracks, and turned to look at her. “I’ve been thinking about it for days. I fought it so hard, and in the end… I guess I lost.”

“Is that what you think?” she asked.

“I keep dreaming of a woman’s laughter, and some kids? I wake up, and their faces are gone, but I can still hear the laughter.” John felt so overwhelmed, and wasn’t sure what to do with the anger he felt rising inside of him. “Gina and I had a plan to escape… to get away from him, but…fuck! I don’t remember anything!” he yelled in frustration.

“Stefano sent you to Salem, and for seven years, everyone believed that you were Roman,” she whispered. “Stefano took me from you, and you raised the children on your own for almost five years.”

John stared at her helplessly. “I don’t even like children,” he muttered, as a flash of roller skating in the park, with a young girl came to mind.

“You just remembered something didn’t you, John?” Marlena was excited but kept it to herself. She tossed the blanket aside, and stood up, walking towards him. John seemed to be getting flashes of events, and snippets of memory, but he wasn’t sharing it with her, and she knew it was partly due to trust. Just as she didn’t truly know him, he was wary of her.

Lifting his eyes to hers, he said, “Roller skating… in a park.”

“That would be Carrie. She always loved roller skating when she was younger. She tried to teach you, but you were horrible at it. Now she’s taken up roller blading.”

“Roller blading?” he asked her, confused.

“Similar to roller skating but the wheels are thinner, and in a row, similar to ice skates,” she said softly.

John smirked, unable to hold it back. “I’d break my leg.”

“Have you remembered… have you remembered anything else?” She asked him tentatively. 

The flash of memory, them together on the bed, came to his mind again, but John responded, “No. Nothing.”

Marlena knew he was lying, but she wouldn’t call him on it. His quick glance to the headboard of the bed, and then back to her, told her everything she needed to know. He remembered something about their last night together, the night before Stefano separated them. She also knew that he was probably having dreams, which were likely disrupting his sleep. That was his normal pattern. She watched him as he continued to stand there, awkwardly, not sure what to do with himself.

The silence reigned for several moments, before John said quickly, “I’m leaving for a few days, for a job.”

As much as Marlena was wary of this new John, realizing he would be gone for days, leaving her alone with Stefano hit her like a train wreck. It was instant fear, gripping her chest. John, even the version she’d come to know over the few days she had, would never allow Stefano to hurt her. Leaving her alone with Stefano brought intense panic, because then Stefano could do whatever he wanted. 

Her eyes went wide with understanding. “No! John, no! You can’t leave me here with him. You can’t! Ever since Maison Blanche…” she started breathing erratically, reaching for him frantically, grabbing hold of his fingers, and pulling him closer. She was unable to catch her breath, as pain ripped through her chest. She was remembering what Kellam did to her, and what happened with Jake, and she found herself being sucked into a void of nothingness. She could feel Stefano’s meaty hands sliding along the inside of her thighs, and she felt physically ill.

John watched her sink to the floor in front of him. Her eyes were wide with fear, and her small hands curled into tiny clenched fists. He’d seen fear affect someone that way before, but he hadn’t felt anything at all. He wasn’t supposed to feel, especially not empathy. He had no experience with it. He’d never had to. In all the cases he could recall he’d been on the other end of a gun, and emotions had not played a role. John closed his eyes, unsure of what to do, until he remembered Marlena, in a soft, creamy, lace-edged silk nightgown… she’d had a nightmare. He’d rushed in, and held her, somehow talking her through it. He sank to the floor beside her, brushing the hair back from her shoulder. Gently he whispered, “Breathe. Breathe, Doc!”

But she was struggling, she looked up at him with tears streaking down her face, and she said, “I can’t… I can’t get the air to–”

“You can, look! Look at me! Breathe in,” he said, starting to panic slightly himself. “Now out… and in… “

Marlena started to cry, but she somehow managed to pull air into her tightened chest. She softly gasped, “Oh, G-d!”, as she leaned into him for support, wrapping her arms around his waist, and laying her face on his chest. She felt the ripple of his muscles under her cheek, and took deep breaths, breathing in the scent of him. She feared, deep in her soul, that Stefano had the potential to assault her. If he became frustrated with her unwillingness, it was possible that he might force her, and then, she could be lost forever. She couldn’t cope with another rape. “I… I… I can’t be left alone with him, John. I can’t… he might… oh, G-d!”

She was scared. Petrified of being alone with Stefano. Her physical reaction to the idea of being alone at the compound with Stefano was making her sick. 

He had to do the job. It was the only way to continue to have Stefano believe in him. To trust him, and Stefano’s trust in him was what was going to keep him and Marlena alive. It was the last job. The last art heist. Without Gina to paint the counterfeits there would be no more heists. 

As he thought about Rachel Blake, John knew what might be causing such a visceral reaction in Marlena, and yet, he felt as if it was something more than Stefano. He knew it. He felt it. “What happened to you?” he asked her quietly, touching the ends of her hair, and watching it play about his fingers.

She tipped her face up to his, afraid to tell him. She was unsure of where he stood with Stefano, afraid of what he might share with Stefano. Without additional details, she told John, “I was raped.”

Again he thought of Rachel. “You think that Stefano might rape you?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know!” she gasped. “I see the way he watches me, and after what happened at Maison Blanche… I know what he wants. I shouldn’t have done that, but it was for you… I had to do it for you.”

“You were at Maison Blanche?” John asked her. John knew that nothing good ever came from being held at Maison Blanche.

“We were at Maison Blanche,” she replied softly.

John’s breath choked in his throat as a memory assaulted him. His first solid memory, and it was painful – physically and emotionally.

John’s shoulders ached with the weight of his own body as he hung from chains against the solid stone wall. Stefano’s stale breath wafted over his cheek, hot and damp. “You are mine, John. You have always been mine. I may have let you go rogue all these years, because I had no need for you, but you have always belonged to me.”

“You fucking lousy bastard! What have you done with Doc?” John screamed in Stefano’s face. He pulled, feeling the pinch of metal against his wrists, and then the slow trickle of warm blood down his arms.

Stefano gave him a feral smile. “Dr. Evans is no longer your concern, John. Soon, you won’t even remember her.”

John’s eyes narrowed. “That’s where you’re wrong, old man. No matter what you do, my heart… my heart will always remember Doc.”

John gasped, tightening his arms around Marlena. His fists twisted in the cotton of her nightgown where it sat at her hips. It was the first solid memory he’d had. A memory with a time, and a place. A recent memory. He’d noticed the marks on his body in his bathroom mirror, the mysterious cuts, and bruises, but he’d never mentioned them to Stefano. Now he understood, he knew where they came from, and he knew who had given them to him. John now understood why his subconscious had been so wary of the man he’d once considered a brother.

“John?” Marlena said hesitantly, touching his arm softly. “You remembered something?”

He felt weak. He hated himself. He should be stronger, but how? When the one person he counted on, the one person he had considered his friend and mentor for years, had hurt him. Stefano had hurt him badly. John’s body shook, and he wanted to roar with fury. He wanted to be stronger. He was trained to be stronger, to lack emotion, to be able to take anything… but that? That was treachery. It felt like the worst form of betrayal, and it was painful. Tears filled his eyes, and he refused to look at Marlena, until he felt her soft fingers on his face, pulling his head down while forcing him to look at her. He felt so ashamed, so ignorant, and naive. Emotions were weakness.

Marlena saw that he was struggling. The new John, he would never ask for it, so she crawled into his lap, linking her arms behind his neck, whispering, “It’s okay. It’s okay to feel things.”

He sat there, motionless, refusing to touch her, but at the same time absorbing her strength, and her warmth. His body shivered with want, when he felt her nose run up the length of his neck, and her face settle in the crook of his shoulder. They sat like that for what felt like ages, while he forced himself not to respond, until finally, unable to resist any longer, John slowly wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her closer, and held onto her like she was a lifeline, a tether to a reality he didn’t know… but maybe he used to.

Chapter 13 – What Was Two Becomes Three

Bo watched as Hope concentrated on her brush strokes across the canvas. He was still struggling to understand how she had gone from no talent at all, to re-creating masterpieces. He was waiting for Abe and Shane to arrive with the final forensics report on the micro chip that had been retrieved from Hope’s neck. He rolled his shoulders to release some of the tension, but it wouldn’t matter. Giovanni Nero was still in a coma at University Hospital after surgery to remove the microchip that had been wired into his nervous system. It was a chip that was nearly identical to the one that had been in Hope. 

Mike Horton was at a loss as to why Gio hadn’t woken yet. Hope had been painting feverishly ever since, taking on the burden as if it were her own. Roman had already called him screaming once because he’d caught Sami at the hospital sitting with Gio. Bo had no control over her, and obviously neither did Roman. Roman worked too much to know what Sami was up to anyway.  He turned to watch Hope. She was just as fascinated with her newfound talent as he was. 

Hope could feel Bo’s eyes on her. He thought her stress was because of Gio, and part of it was, but she’d also been having dreams. She was too scared to talk to Bo about them. They were personal. Intimate in ways that made her uncomfortable. She’d wake up feeling aroused and disgusted at the same time. She was also afraid of the impact they might have on Bo, because they were dreams of John, dreams of loving him. She didn’t know who Gina was, but she had a feeling that she had felt a profound love for John. Almost to the point of obsession. How could she explain that to Bo? It didn’t even make sense. Gina’s feelings of love mixed with Hope’s feelings of family and it left her confused.

The back gate clicked, and Hope looked up as Abe and Shane stepped into Alice Horton’s back yard, her paint brush pausing mid-stroke. Shane stared at the art with more than mere curiosity. 

Abe’s eyes widened. “Wow… just wow.”

“I’m pretty good at it, huh?” she said smugly, with her trademark sarcasm.

“Good? I think we both know that you’re more than good, Fancy Face,” Bo said to her before turning to Abe. “She’s done four since yesterday. This is the fifth. All recreations of priceless art… done from memory. So what I need to know, Abe, is what is in that report from the ISA?”

Shane stepped forward. “Honestly, Bo, it’s incredible. The technology is so advanced that the ISA is still in its infancy with this.”

Bo wasn’t sure what to say. The ISA was working on similar technology? It was almost frightening to consider. “With what? Come on, Shane. Just spit it out.”

“Mind mapping, Bo. Someone’s memories were mapped, in intricate detail, and then wired into Hope’s nervous system. The thing is, it was done at such an advanced level we don’t understand it all,” Shane said. “That microchip contained the memories of someone else, but when activated, Hope would believe she was this person—”

” –Gina,” Hope whispered, causing Abe, Bo, and Shane to turn and look at her. If the report contained what she thought it did, Shane already knew.

“Yes,” Shane said slowly. “Gina Von Amberg. Do you remember any of that, Hope?”

She looked at Bo sheepishly, “I’ve been having dreams… as if I were Gina. Her memories, not mine.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bo asked her.

Hope did want to answer him at all, but the memories weren’t hers. She took a deep breath. “Because a lot of them involve John, Bo, and they’re confusing,” she said defensively. Looking at Shane, she said, “Gina Von Amberg loved John. She loved him a lot… and my dreams are about that love. They confuse me. I didn’t—I didn’t want to talk about them because John is family to me. Gina loved him in ways that were decidedly not familial. I wake up, and I feel disgusted.”

Shane was quiet for a moment before he said, “That’s what we thought might happen. The forensics team was able to read the chip, and you’re right. She was deeply in love with John Black, and when John was sent to Salem in 1985, she spiraled into a deep depression. Stefano must have had her mind mapped, and transferred those memories to you. When activated, you would behave as Gina. You would believe that you were Gina. Now that the chip is gone, you’re having residual thoughts and feelings that were hers, but those should fade with time.”

“I look just like her,” she whispered. “But she’s dead.”

Shane then turned to Abe and Bo, “We need to assume that John also has a micro chip wired into his nervous system making it possible, on Stefano’s whim, to make him forget, or remember, whatever Stefano wants him to. We have been able to determine that Gina and John worked for Stefano before 1984. During that time there were a string of art thefts that are only now coming to light. The originals were taken and replaced with—”

Hope felt as if she were barely able to take her next breath, before she said, “—counterfeits… that I painted.” She sat back down heavily, “Shane, I suspected, but are we certain that’s what I was doing for the last four years?” He looked at her, obviously holding back information, because he feared upsetting her. Hope found herself getting angry. She deserved to know. “It was my life, and my body. What was I doing, Shane?”

He sighed deeply, “We believe that you were painting counterfeits for Stefano. We also believe that you had graduated to completing art heists alone… without a partner, since John was no longer part of the equation.”

“Oh my G-d,” she whispered. The dreams had told her as much, but she’d tried to hold out hope that that’s all they were. Just dreams. Blindly she reached for Bo.

“What does this mean, Shane?” Abe wanted to know. “International art heists, I mean is Hope going to be charged for those crimes?”

“Now wait! No! She can’t be charged for something she didn’t willingly do! Shane? She can’t, right?” Bo asked him.

“We’re working with Interpol now, and the person they really want is Stefano DiMera,” Shane said. “The problem is finding him. We know some of his properties, but not all of them.”

“I know some,” Hope told them. “I’ve been remembering more and more—”

“Hope!” Bo said with frustration. He was angry and upset that she seemed to be so full of information for Shane, while he and Abe had been struggling for leads as to the whereabouts of John and Marlena. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wasn’t sure if I was remembering or if my mind was fabricating things,” she said. “The dreams are upsetting to me, and I didn’t know what was real, or if I was crazy. I wanted to wait for the ISA report. I had all of these memories of John, but you kept telling me it couldn’t have been John… but it was him, just not with me. It was Gina’s memories.”

He didn’t have to tell her he was hurt. Not when it was clear in his eyes. “You didn’t trust me?”

“Don’t get an attitude with me, Bo Brady! It’s my brain that got scrambled!” Hope stared at him defiantly, and then said, “I thought Gio might have information as well.”

Abe stood watching them, and noted that the byplay between them hadn’t changed in their four years apart. Bo still thought he knew best, and Hope still put him in his place. He smirked, “She’s got you there partner.”

“We were hoping to bring Hope and Gio into the ISA investigation, because we need their intel. It’s likely that they know things about Stefano DiMera that no one else knows,,” Shane said.

“No. No, Shane. Absolutely not!” Bo said harshly.

Hope was furious. She rose from her chair, and looked Bo in the eyes, and turned to Shane, saying, “I’ll help you in whatever capacity you need me to.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The growling of Marlena’s stomach around dinnertime alerted her to the fact that she couldn’t skip another meal. John had given her the blueberry muffin and the banana earlier in the day, but she’d skipped lunch. She couldn’t pass up dinner. She glanced over at the wardrobe filled with fancy clothes that were horrifically uncomfortable and then decided she would wear the track suit. She would continue to wear them until Stefano took them away – which he would do eventually. Her stomach rumbled again as she glanced at the clock. “Hungry and bored,” she mumbled. “Fun.”

Walking over towards the window, she ran her fingers over the wrought iron bars trapping her inside. This room had been a prison cell for someone else long before she arrived. What had Stefano called it? The Blake Suite? Kristen’s last name was Blake, and Stefano had raised Kristen and Peter. There was a story there. A bigger story than the bits and pieces she’d put together. She could ask John, but wouldn’t tell her. He’d been very closed off the last time she’d asked him. 

She turned quickly when her door opened. Bart was standing there, and behind him was a small woman who seemed quite nervous. 

“Boss wants you downstairs for supper, and then Lisandra here can clean your room,” Bart said in a tone that radiated disinterest. “No excuses.” He stood there staring at her. He obviously had no plans to leave.

Without a word, Marlena slowly walked across the room, exiting the door where Bart stood. Her eyes briefly caught Lisandra’s and all she saw there was fear and questions. As much as she wanted to help, Marlena had nothing left to give anyone. Her concern was herself, and John. Always John. A wave of nausea came over her, and she cursed herself again for refusing to eat lunch. No matter how much she despised Stefano and his company, she had to eat. No more skipping meals. 

“You know, Stefano’s a real bitch to deal with when you aren’t cooperative,” Bart told her.

She couldn’t help smirking as she asked him, “And why would I want to be cooperative? Stefano has me here against my will. He has John here against his will. He’s taken us from our children, and our families–”

“ –I ain’t looking for some sob story. I’m just saying, you need to start following directions. Stefano is only patient for so long.” Bart shrugged, “What he does after that ain’t my business.”

Marlena gave him one last hard stare before she walked onto the lanai, saying, “I have a feeling your mother would be disappointed in you.”

Bart watched her go with wide eyes and his mouth hung wide. He thought about warm homemade lasagnas and Pappardelle Alla Bolognese. His mina with her short, rounded, soft body and her warm hugs. Suddenly he felt his mina’s eyes on him, and he was instantly guilty. Mina would not be proud of him at all. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I told you, Mike! I don’t want Sami sitting in there with him! He was a mercenary for Stefano DiMera, and we don’t know what he’s going to be like when he wakes up!” Roman was furious. It was the third time in two days that he’d found Sami sitting next to the bedside of one Giovanni Nero. 

“Look, Roman, I understand your concern. I really do, but I can tell you that if and when Gio wakes up, he’s certainly not going to have the energy to attack anyone.” Mike rubbed his hands over his face in frustration. “You’ve got to trust me on this. Besides Sami was told very clearly to get a nurse or a doctor if he shows any signs of waking.”

“I don’t want her in there,” Roman growled.

“She works here, and Gio has been steadily improving with her there. His blood pressure is better, his brain activity is heightened. Having Sami, for whatever reason, is giving him hope… and I can tell you, that boy didn’t have much when he walked in here.” Mike pointed through the small window in the door where Sami sat. “Do you see that? She’s being a friend. That’s all. This is a girl who we’ve all seen struggle over the last year and a half. Let her have something to believe in. Don’t take this kid away from her.”

Roman stared at his daughter. All of her problems were John and Marlena’s fault. He knew that. He’d even told Sami as much. Her mother was a whore who couldn’t keep her legs together, and still Sami would cry almost every time she’d seen her mother. She’d go silent after run-ins with John. He wasn’t about to tell Mike Horton any of that. The Horton’s saw Marlena and John as almost perfect and kind. They were neither. They’d destroyed his life and Sami’s. He hated them both. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stefano stared at the table in disgust as the servants attempted to clear it away. Marlena sat back in her chair, her skin pale, and sweat covering her brow. “Are you ill?” he asked.

She gave a sarcastic laugh, “You think? I just vomited all over the table.”

This had not been his plan for dinner. With John gone he had hoped to woo her. After all she’d had to come to realize from her time with John that the man she’d loved was gone. There would be no bringing him back, Rold had assured Stefano of that. But as he stared at the table, coated with bits of desiccated romaine lettuce and a mixture of vinaigrette dressing, he was well aware that their evening together was over. 

“Bart!” he yelled, knowing the man was loitering somewhere nearby.

“Yeah, Boss?” he said, poking his head outside. A look of revolt came over his face when he realized what he was seeing. A quick glance between Marlena and Stefano let him know that his evening was not going to be pleasant.

Stefano stood up, keeping his distance from the woman he professed to love. “Please walk Marlena back to the Blake Suite. I’d like some broth and bread brought up to her room.” 

Standing up on shaky legs, Marlena wobbled slightly, but when Bart reached out to hold her steady, she shook him off. “I can walk! I’m fine. It’s just a stomach bug.”

“You sure?” Bart asked. “You’re looking a little green around the gills if you ask me.”

“I didn’t ask you,” she replied. “I just need to lie down. That’s all.”

But it was more than that, and she knew it. As she’d stared at the soggy remains of her salad all over the beautifully laid table, she’d felt another wave of nausea caused by anxiety. In an instant she’d calculated the time she’d been there while trying to remember her last period. She’d missed her period. It should have come a few days earlier. Obviously, as a doctor, she knew that trauma and stress could be a factor in a late menstrual cycle, and it was really too soon to tell for sure, but in her heart, she felt that she was pregnant. When she was pregnant with the twins she had morning sickness very early as a result of the changes in hormones. A pregnancy right now complicated an already complicated situation, but the thought of John’s child growing within her body gave her a renewed sense of purpose. This was possibly no longer about her and John getting free, and back home to the children. There could be another person involved in their story, and she was determined to keep herself healthy. She would break through whatever brainwashing Stefano had done to John. She followed slowly behind Bart, and gingerly ran her palm over her abdomen softly. There was nothing she could do about it if she was pregnant. She has to minimize her stress, and devise a plan to break through to John, because now two had become three.

Chapter 14 – Dreams & Memories

Instead of four days, John had completed the job and returned in two. His nights had been filled with dreams of Marlena. He wasn’t sure if they were figments of his imagination or memories, but in them all he would wake and still taste her on his lips. He would still smell her sweet fragrance in the room. It was overpowering. 

He’d rushed through the assignment, and he had refused to acknowledge the real reason. He told himself repeatedly that he rushed because he wanted to be done with it. He was sick of art theft. It bored him, but as he took the stairs to Marlena’s room in the early dawn hours, two and three at a time, and picked the lock to her room, he couldn’t deny the truth any more. His heart slammed in his chest. He needed to see her. To know that she was safe, well… alive. He was worried about her, and admitting that to himself was difficult. He’d never truly cared for anyone, except for perhaps Gina. But even with Gina, he hadn’t felt a pull like the one he was feeling. 

Once inside Marlena’s room, he closed the door softly behind him. She was asleep in her bed. The sun was just coming over the horizon, giving her skin a soft pink hue. He was drawn to her. Unable to stop himself, he crouched beside the bed, gently moving the hair from her forehead. She moaned softly in her sleep, arching towards his soft touch. She sighed, her lips parting slightly, causing John to reach out and lightly trace a fingertip across her bottom lip. She was so damned beautiful it took his breath away. He had so many questions, and he knew she was the only one with the answers. If Stefano knew he was remembering anything, he would wake up a week later knowing less than he currently did. Marlena was caught in a dream, and he would give anything to be caught in it with her. Little did he know that she was back to that first night.

His face was hard, and his eyes held anger. His fists were tight on her wrists, holding them against the wall over her head. His hot breath wafted over her face, smelling of wine and chocolate. “I’m lying? Listen, all I want from you is sex, and I can’t even remember the last time I had sex—”

” –two weeks ago,” she whispered roughly. “In the bed behind you… with me.”

He stared at her with arousal filled eyes. He held her against the wall with the length of his body, as he told her with a low growl, “I could do it again… I could fuck you against this wall.”

She knew he didn’t remember her, not the way she wanted him to, but she wanted him so badly. She wanted to pretend he knew. She wanted to feel him against her, inside her… consuming her. Her body cried out for him, and maybe, just maybe he might remember her. “Kiss me,” she gasped, leaning forward to lick across his mouth. “Taste me…”

“Fuck yes,” John said, threading his fingers through her hair while pulling her head towards him. “You smell so fucking good.” He moaned into her mouth, while his other hand moved to unfasten the button on her slacks.

Her legs almost buckled beneath her when he roughly pushed his hand into her panties, running his finger over he swollen folds. It was hurried, frenzied almost, and she bucked against his hand, aching for more. “You are so wet. So fucking wet. Are you usually this soaked for me?”

“Always. Always… always,” she moaned against his lips. He pulled away from her quickly, hastily pushing her pants to the floor. His eyes trailed over her body – her heaving breasts and lithe legs. Reaching out quickly, he snapped the buttons of her blouse in his hurry to get it off of her. Marlena leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths, clad only in her bra, with her shirt hanging from her shoulders. He thought she was gorgeous.

“You are a fucking sight,” he said to her, running the tip of his finger down her sternum, and swirling it around her navel. His mouth watered and his cock bobbed. “I bet I couldn’t get enough of you. If you were mine… you wouldn’t get a break.”

Her hands started fumbling with the button on his jeans. “Now. Now,” she gasped. She was shaking with anticipation, pushing them down over his hips as he stripped his shirt over his head, and then pressed the length of his body against hers. Hot and hard, she cried out again, bucking against him. Marlena grabbed his face, pulling his mouth to hers, and whispered across his mouth, “Fuck me, John. Fuck me.”

“I’m about to,” he said, sliding his hands under her ass, and lifting her high against the wall.

She rolled her hips in his hands, feeling the tip of his cock throbbing against her entrance. She wanted him. She needed him. “John, please! I need you,” she cried.

“Oh, babygirl, you’re going to get me,” he said, pushing inside her so quickly she gasped.

Marlena’s eyes flew open, as she screamed, “John!” into the silence of the room. Her whole body was on fire, right on the edge of coming. Her muscles shook, and she felt… empty. Unfulfilled. She needed release. Turning her head, she saw John kneeling beside her bed, his own pupils blown, and his breathing erratic. He’d been watching her. She was confused about where he’d come from, or maybe she was still dreaming… she wasn’t sure, but she needed to come. Looking into his eyes, she reached for his hand where it rested near her shoulder. Dragging it down her abdomen, she tugged her nightgown up to her hips, begging softly, “Please…”

He stared at her bare sex, damp with her arousal. The hair at the apex of her thighs was cropped close, and he felt like he could taste her with how thick her scent was. “You’re not wearing panties, Marlena…” he said roughly, sliding two fingers into her pussy, and using his thumb to rub over her clit. If she wanted it, he wanted to touch her even more. His voice took on a low gravelly tone. “That was some dream you were having.”

“Oh, G-d!” she moaned, rolling her head from side to side.

Leaning close to her, John whispered gruffly in her ear, “You need to come. I can see it in your face. I’m going to do that for you. I’m going to finger fuck you so hard you see stars.” His fingers hooked inside of her, rubbing against her g-spot, and he started rubbing his thumb over her clit hard and fast. Her legs pulled up, and her knees fell wide as she gasped. The combination of his roughness, and his filthy words pushed Marlena over the edge in under a minute.

John rested his forehead on her shoulder, attempting to get his raging arousal under control. He wanted to pull her body to the edge of the bed, and push himself inside her, but something stopped him. He wasn’t sure what it was. Maybe it was the sleepy way she looked at him, as if she wasn’t sure if she was awake or still in the most erotic dream of her life. He stood up, feeling the ache in his engorged cock. He leaned towards her, licking over her lips, and said, “I’ll see you at breakfast, Doc.”

Nearly twenty minutes later, and she still hadn’t managed to get herself to move from the bed after John had left her lying there, a mass quivering flesh. Her blankets were still twisted around her hips, her nightgown barely covering her sex, and her legs were askew. She felt the cool air of the room breezing over her skin. She could only imagine what she looked like. She could still feel his tongue on her lips, and a dull aching throb in her center from her mind blowing orgasm. She’d begged him to make her come. She’d pulled his hand down to her pussy and practically buried his fingers inside her. He barely knew her, at least he thought he did. Why had he allowed her to… Marlena began to blush deeply. This version of John was a stranger to her, she didn’t know him the way she actually knew John, but the attraction and the love was still there. That complicated things beyond measure. If he was John, her John, what had happened between them this morning would have been less complicated.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John approached Stefano’s study intending to tell him that he had completed the job early, but, just as he was about to knock on the door, he heard Tony’s voice come loudly from within, “Father! You can’t do this! Keeping John and Marlena here against their will is unacceptable. The ISA is looking for them both!”

“Tony. Tony,” Stefano said in his normal deep voice. “I have everything under control. I suggest you go home to Kristen, and keep this information to yourself.”

“I don’t think I can do that,” Tony told him. “I can’t allow you to kidnap them!”

“If you want to keep Kristen, and your marriage, Tony, you will do that. Kristen is already actively searching for John. What do you think she is going to do when she finds him?”

“Kristen would never leave me. She loves me,” Tony said. He knew she did, because if she didn’t it would break his heart.

“Does she?” Stefano asked him, trying to intentionally create doubt in his son. He laughed, “Do not worry, Tony. Dr. Rolf has reset the microchip in John’s neck already. He cannot remember anything of Kristen except for her childhood tendency to annoy him endlessly.”

Tony eyes his father warily. He could never trust him. “Are you sure about that?”

“Of course I am sure!”

“I’m not so sure, Father. He tried to stop my wedding, do you remember that?” Tony asked. “The day you faked your own death yet again?”

“I do, but as I said… his microchip has been reset back to 1984, before he went to Salem.” Stefano sighed as if Tony were exhausting him. “He understands that time has passed, but he has no interest in it. Do not worry.”

“If he ever combines the memories he currently possesses, with what he knew over the last ten years…” Tony said. “He will realize that Kristen lied to him.”

Stefano was confused, “Lied to him?”

“When she first met him in Salem, and she hated him? That was because she had pulled that stunt where he found her naked in his bed, do you remember? He rejected her, and she hated him for it.” Tony hated mentioning it. He hated remembering any of it. 

“That was nothing,” Stefano said with an absent wave of his hand.

Tony tried to get Stefano to understand the implications. “She was young, and naive, but Father, she was so angry after that. When John fell in love with her in Salem, she never told him that she already knew him. That she had grown up following him around like a love sick puppy! You don’t think he would be hurt by that?”

“Whether John is hurt is of no consideration to me. He is my Pawn. Nothing more. Tony, this conversation tires me, and none of this matters, because John will never remember any of it.”

John stepped away from the door slowly, treading back up the stairs to his room, but he quickly changed his mind and headed back to Marlena. He had questions, and she had answers.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hope was deep under hypnosis, as Bo watched from the corner of the room. She had already outlined Gina’s time with Steffy and her love for John. It made him ill to hear her speak of it, but he understood that those were Gina’s memories. The ISA had details of every counterfeit Gina had ever painted, and every art heist the duo had ever pulled off, as well as some that needed to be checked out, because thefts had never been reported. They knew of Rodolfo, Stefano’s alter ego. They had been at this for days, and it was exhausting for everyone involved. 

His attention started to waver, until he heard her say, “Stefano was planning to send John away. I knew what he was going to do, although John didn’t know the full extent of it. John has a microchip wired into his nervous system. I knew–I knew what Stefano was going to do…” Hope started breathing erratically. “He was going to wipe his mind, and take him away from me. John would forget me completely! I–I wasn’t supposed to say anything, but I couldn’t let him go!”

“Can you tell me about Stefano’s plan, Hope?” the doctor asked her.

“He wanted to send John to a town called Salem. He was going to have him replace a man named Roman Brady, but John, John didn’t want any of that… he didn’t want to leave me.” Hope was quiet for a moment, and then she whispered, “We had a plan. We were going to run away together… but Stefano took John early. I woke up one day, and John had vanished. He was gone.” Her chest gasped, and she choked, “He was gone!”

The doctor was hoping for more clarification, “After John was taken… how did Gina react?”

“I didn’t react.” Hope’s voice had lost all emotion. She was flat when she said, “I died inside. I just curled up, and died, but then, one day, I woke up.”

The doctor seemed confused. “Can you explain that? How did she wake up?”

“I’m not sure. It was me, but Hope knew, it wasn’t her,” she whispered. “Sometimes I felt her pushing, from inside my mind. Pushing me away, trying to come out. I couldn’t handle it anymore, and finally told Stefano. We were on the way to see Dr. Rolf when he lost me in the storm. I was ecstatic when I saw John. I started rushing towards him, and must have tripped and fallen on the beach.”

“Is that when you were found?” the doctor asked her.

“I believe so. Hope woke up in the hospital. I went back to sleep. It’s better that way.” Hope had a gentle smile, when she said softly, “Bo was there.”

Shane spoke from the corner, looking at the doctor, “Can you ask her where they were being taken?”

“Gina, I have one final question,” the doctor said.

“I’m so tired,” she whispered.

“This is the last question for today. I promise. Do you know where Stefano was taking the three of you?”

“He was going to have John and I commit another art heist, in Munich. He needed Rolf to reset John’s microchip, and fix the glitch in mine. We were going to Stefano’s island in the Caribbean,” she whispered. “I had just finished another painting, a Cézanne…”

Shane leaned towards Bo, and looked at him with alarm, “A museum in Munich was just broken into, but they reported that nothing was stolen… but maybe—”

“—maybe a Cézanne was stolen,” Bo finished. “Stefano must have already gotten to John. Marlena must be frantic, Shane.”

Shane rubbed his hands over his face in exhaustion. “We have a general location to work with now, Bo. That narrows our search down a lot.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sami was sitting at the dining table in her grandparents house with Brady in a booster seat, and Belle in a high chair while she attempted to feed them lunch. She was tired. She’d been spending her days with Brady and Belle, while trying to keep up with her schoolwork. Her evenings, she’d been sneaking into the hospital to sit by Gio’s side. John and Marlena’s absence was negatively affecting everyone, but Brady and Belle were suffering the most. Brady looked at Sami. “I miss my daddy… and mama.”

“Mama? You mean Isabella?” Sami was confused for a moment, as Brady shook his head no, and then she saw the small boy pull a crumpled photograph from his pocket, and hand it to her. She looked upon the most faded, and care worn photo of her mother that she’d ever seen. “Where’d you get this Brady?'”

“Daddy’s room,” he said whispering. “Shhh… don’t tell.”

Sami felt tears sting her eyes. “Your daddy had this in his room?”

“In his drawer. I’s not supposed to go there, but he has pictures of mama,” Brady said sadly.

Sami spent the rest of their lunch thinking back on all the times she had spent with John and her mother. It had always been obvious that they cared for one another, and Sami missed John more than she would ever willingly admit. As she put Belle and Brady down for their naps, and she watched curl in on himself with a crumpled photo of her mother in his hand, she felt hot tears roll down the contours of her face. Belle and Brady needed their father… and their mother.

She softly closed the door to the bedroom where they slept, and with the baby monitor in her hand, she made her way back downstairs to the kitchen to clean up. She found her father there, making another mess. He looked up at her, “Hey Sami. I haven’t seen you for a few days.”

“I’ve been helping Grandma and Grandpa take care of Belle and Brady,” she said, as she started wiping down the table. Her father was disgusting sometimes. Mayonnaise was smeared on the countertop and crumbs were everywhere. Belle was neater than him.

“You know, someone else should be watching John and Doc’s kids,” Roman said. “They aren’t family. It’s too much on Ma and Pop.”

Sami stared at her father in shock, “Belle is my sister. She is family.”

“That’s not what I meant. It’s just they aren’t Brady’s, so Ma and Pop shouldn’t be taking care of them. They could stay at Victor’s house,” Roman said, taking a large bite of his sandwich.

“They are family,” Sami told him with force. “They’re my family, and they’re babies. They miss their parents.”

Roman was angry at the way Sami had seemed to suddenly capitulate in her feelings. He muttered, “Well, Belle is anyway.”

Sami started crying. “They are both my family. Brady calls mom… he calls her mama. He carries a photo of her, and he sleeps with it! Belle cries all the time, and she’s too little to even say why! It’s like you don’t even care! Yeah, Mom screwed up… but I want her back. I want John back!”

“Hey. Hey, Sami, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Roman said, trying to backtrack. “I just think it’s a lot to put on Ma and Pop, that’s all. They’re not getting any younger.”

Caroline overheard Sami’s conversation with Roman, and she could hear her granddaughter crying. Entering the kitchen, Caroline said loudly to Roman, “Your father and I consider Belle and Brady as our very own, Roman! Blood doesn’t make family, it never has with the Brady’s, and I better never hear you speak like this with Belle or Brady in the house again.”

Roman seemed to want to leave quickly after that. Sami approached her grandmother, letting her hold her tight. Caroline whispered in her ear, “It’s okay to love them, and it’s okay to miss them. You don’t need to hold onto that anger. Look at your father, he holds tight to his anger, and it’s destroying him, and his relationships. Sami, you have a light in you, and you have love in you. You won’t run out. It’s okay to love them both.” Caroline ran her hands softly over Sami’s back, saying, “Because, they both love you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John found Marlena in the garden, near a pond scattered with decorative rocks that made it seem even less natural. She was sitting on the grass, leaning back on her arms, letting the sun shine on her face, and the breeze blow through her flaxen hair. She was obviously skipping breakfast. He stopped breathing for a moment, and his heart skipped a beat, as he took in the sight of her. How could someone look so beautiful? It was more than beauty. He knew that. The sound of the water pulled at something in his mind. The heat of the sun against his skin. The way her hair reflected the light. John found himself suddenly lost in a memory. Not a flash of memory, but a solid memory, complete with all of the feelings and emotions tied into the moment.

He held Marlena in his arms, sighing, “Oh, boy. Nothing like dining out under the stars, huh?”

Marlena started giggling, tucked against his chest, “There aren’t any stars out here.”

“No? Then tell me Mrs. Brady, what do you consider the sun?” he responded with sarcasm.

Marlena paused for a moment, processing what he’d said, and then she replied, “Sneaky. That’s sneaky. You dog.”

He laughed, holding her body tighter in his arms. He’d never been so happy in his life, at least the life he could remember. Thinking about the huge lunch they’d just eaten, he said, “I’m so stuffed. That was wonderful.”

“You’re stuffed? No more room for maybe some strawberries and whipped cream?” She asked him, running the tip of her nose along his neck.

He couldn’t help the shiver that ran through him. “Sorry, no more room.”

“Oh, no,” she whined.

“We don’t really need strawberries. Do we?” he asked. He could think of things he’d rather have.

“No. All we need… is each other. That’s all we need,” she said. Sitting up and looking at him, she said, “Oh my gosh, I love you so much!”

His face close to her, and their lips almost touching, John asked her, “Hmmm, how much?”

“I love you,” she whispered, nuzzling the side of his face, “…all over. I love your ears.” She kissed his ear softly with a warm open-mouthed kiss. “And I love your eyes,” she said, kissing over his eyes. “And I love your nose.”

He smiled. “My nose?”

“Your nose,” she moaned, leaning into him, while kissing the bridge of his nose. “And I love your…” she paused, her mouth so close to his he could feel her warmth. Her breath wafted over him, causing another shiver to run through him. “…your mouth. Oh, I love your mouth.”

The heat of her lips sliding across his was pure heaven. John’s tongue swept over hers, as the taste of her mouth engulfed his mind. He moaned deeply. “That much, huh?”

“Yeah,” she said breathlessly. “I love it more than that. I… I’ve got an idea.”

“I’ve got a feeling I know what that idea might be—” John said, stroking his fingers over her collarbone softly.

Her voice was husky, when she whispered, “Yeah, I’ll tell you what, in case you’re wrong, I’ll just tell you what it is. I think, after a full meal… I think you might need some exercise.”

“Hmmm, exercise,” he whispered.

“Yeah, yeah, those are… in fact, those are doctors orders,” she said, her voice heavily clouded with arousal.

John bit at her earlobe. “Well, I… I’ve never been one to buck doctors orders….”

She smiled at him suggestively, stroking her fingers softly over his face, “Yeah, don’t ever buck doctors orders.” 

He kissed her once deeply, before getting to his feet. 

Marlena watched him in confusion, “Roman? What are you doing?” 

He placed his hands under her arms and lifted her, as she looped them around his neck.

She was still confused, but decided to follow his lead. “Standing up? Oh my goodness, you’re brave!” 

John kissed her again, as she giggled into his mouth, but she immediately started laughing as John started stretching his legs by pulling them up behind him. 

She pulled back watching him, “Honey? What are you doing?”

“Well, I’m getting ready for a little exercise,” he told her, grabbing her hand. “C’mon! Once around the pond!” 

As he began to run, pulling her behind him, he heard her shriek, “Oh no! That’s not what I had in mind!”

John came back to himself, when he felt Marlena’s warm hand on his arm, “John?”

He’d never felt so at a loss of his own emotions. What was he feeling? Looking around them, he knew they were too exposed to talk by the pond. He pulled away from her, saying, “I need to speak to you, but it can’t be here.” He scrambled in his mind for a place where they could meet without fear of being caught, and said, “The attic. Can you meet me in the attic? In fifteen minutes?”

“Yes, but—” She didn’t know how to get to the attic without being seen.

“The entrance stairs are at the end of your hallway, where your room is,” he whispered, glancing around again quickly. Looking at her for a moment, so conflicted with these flashes of memory, and what he had overheard with Tony and Stefano, John simply said, “I’ll put the cameras on a loop. Please?“

She couldn’t tell him no. He seemed so out of sorts. She was almost certain he’d had another memory. She wanted to hold him, but she knew this wasn’t the place. There were too many eyes. Staff. Cameras. She also knew why he had shaken her hand off, realizing that she shouldn’t be too familiar with him where they might be seen. Without touching him, she simply said, “Yes,” and walked away.

Chapter 15 – The Witch

Sami was with Gio when his eyes opened. He blinked a few times trying to orient himself to his new surroundings. A hospital room. He was in the hospital. Just like with Hope, he knew who he was. There was the crushing realization of who he was, and the fact that he had no one waiting for him. His mother was dead in a fire, his father had been murdered by Stefano DiMera, and his sister was gone from a drug overdose three years earlier. He was alone in a world that wasn’t equipped to help a traumatized, abused nineteen year old. His head fell back, and he choked, trying to hold back the tears that came to him as fast as the memories did.

“Gio?” Sami said softly. “Gio, it’s okay. It’s okay. I–I can get the doctor.”

His hand gripped her fiercely. “No. No… I’m not ready. I’m not–”

“ –when I was little,” Sami said, “my Daddy would tell me stories about a boy who had no memories, and how sometimes when the memories came to him, he would be frightened… but he had people who loved him. People who stood by him, and took care of him when he was afraid. I loved those stories… because they taught me loyalty. I’m here, Gio. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Austin,” he said roughly, watching her with wary eyes. “Austin Reed.”

“Austin,” she said softly. Her eyes shined with tears in the soft light drifting across the floor from the bathroom. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay here until they kick me out.”

He felt so lost he wanted to die. Tears started to fall from his eyes, and then the most surprising thing happened. Sami Brady stood up and rounded the other side of his hospital bed. Climbing in beside him, she whispered, “I’m not going anywhere, because once… when I needed a friend, I didn’t have anyone.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Marlena waited for John in the attic. It was warm up there, but not excessively so. There was a small dormer window that allowed her to look out over the forest canopy to the blue water of the Caribbean. Fine dust particles swirled through beams of light that shone through the window near the eaves. Marlena waited near the window, watching the stairs from where she entered for John to arrive only to be surprised when he came from beside her. “John!” she said, turning around. “Where did you come from?”

He just gave her a lopsided smirk. “I used to meet Gina up here, when we didn’t want Stefano to know.”

She felt sadness settle at the thought, but she quickly pushed it aside. John would have had another life before her. He would have been with other women, and, while she had spent years helping him search for his past, the other women part had always bothered her. She remembered Danielle Tremaine, and almost immediately felt ill. He would have known others. It was inevitable, but the thought of him kissing them the way he kissed her… or touching them the way he touched her… it hurt. Softly, she said, “Oh.”

John’s head tilted to the side as he watched her momentarily. She was upset. He sometimes struggled with understanding emotions, but she seemed hurt. Finally, he said, “Gina’s gone, you know. She’s dead. I think I loved her once, but she’s gone.”

“I know,” she whispered, looking at her hands as they lay in her lap. But Hope looked just like Gina. Would he be drawn to her once they were rescued? She sank to the floor in a stream of light, saying nothing else.

Stepping up to where she sat, John loomed over her. He knelt down, reached out, and swept a piece of her hair behind her ear. Tipping her face up to his, he said, “I thought about you a lot over the last two days, lady.”

“Did you?” she asked him with barely restrained hope in her voice.

“I did and it’s… confusing. I have very strong emotions related to you, but I feel like you’re a stranger… you are a stranger.” He had the strongest impulse to kiss her, softly, and run his fingers over her face. It was odd. He didn’t remember a time in his life when his love making wasn’t rough, even aggressive. Marlena brought out impulses in him that he didn’t understand. He wanted to take care of her, but yet she seemed so capable. She was strong and fragile at the same time, and he wondered if maybe the man he was before might have been her perfect compliment. “And then this morning… touching you was so natural.”

She didn’t know what to say, or how to respond, so she changed the subject. Heat suffused her cheeks, and she glanced away. “Does Stefano know that you’re back early?”

John turned, and collapsed onto the crate beside her. “No. Not yet. I went to check in, but Tony was here.”

Marlena’s eyes went wide. “Tony! John, he could save us. He could get us out of here!”

John looked at Marlena incredulously. Save them? From what? “Why would I want that? I may not belong here, but I certainly don’t know if I belong in Salem. I don’t know where I belong.”

“With me, John. You have always belonged with me,” she whispered. How could he touch her the way he had that morning, and not know that?

“There is so much I don’t fucking understand!” he said loudly, rising to his feet quickly. “Listening to Tony speak with Stefano left me with so many more questions. I don’t even know where to start.”

It was familiar. Marlena had seen this before. When they’d first returned to Salem after Gauley Valley. His frustration over his lack of memories, and his uncertainty with his direction.

John felt nausea and bile roll in his belly as he thought about Tony’s conversation with Stefano. He sank to the floor beside her. “Was I in a relationship with Kristen?”

Studying his face for a moment, she realized what he’d overheard. Marlena replied, “You were.”

“I don’t remember any of it, but I overheard Tony telling Stefano that if the man I was, when I was with Kristen, reconciled his memories with the man I am now… I would be upset.” He rubbed his hands over his face. A relationship implied that he’d kissed her. Had he made love to her as well. “How far did this relationship go?”

Marlena was quiet for a long time. He had loved Kristen, or at least he’d believed he had at one point. “You loved her.”

“I thought I loved you,” he said. “You’re not making any sense.”

“Kristen was someone that you were intrigued by.” There was no other way to describe it. He’d been drawn to her. She was intelligent. She was stubborn. 

“I would have never done that if I’d remembered our past. I wouldn’t have! I found her naked, in my bed, at seventeen years old. I reacted poorly, I can admit that. From that point on, she hated me,” he said.

“Her dislike of you was obvious when she first met you, once you started dating it became…” Marlena’s voice trailed off.

He waited. “It became what?”

I sighed. This was about to get messy, and complicated. “I’m not the best judge for your relationship with Kristen, honestly. I was incredibly jealous, while at the same time pushing you away.”

“Why? What aren’t you telling me?”

“You have to understand, John, you were Roman Brady for seven years. For five of those years, I was presumed dead. In reality, I was with Stefano. When I found my way home, you were engaged… to a woman named Isabella. It was complicated, and emotionally very painful, for both of us. You were conflicted, and then… then Roman came home. You and I… we… we made choices. Isabella was pregnant, and I was married to Roman officially, but the draw between us never wavered. The love was still there, and we both knew it. We maintained our distance. I don’t know how many times I would spend my day trying to convince myself that I was happy with Roman, only to wake up in the middle of the night, gasping for air, and desperate for you. Isabella died within months of giving birth to Brady. You hadn’t even been married a full year, and she was gone,” Marlena said.

She watched as a familiar vacant look came over John’s face. He was remembering. Maybe not full segments of time, but he was at least getting images. “Was he born at my wedding?”

She was overjoyed to see that the memories were coming to him more often, and hopeful that if she helped him connect those memories on a timeline, maybe John wouldn’t be as lost to her as Stefano seemed to believe he was, “He was. You and Isabella were getting married, and she went into labor. She gave birth in the rectory, and then insisted that the ceremony be finished before she would go to the hospital.”

“I have a son?” he asked her. It awed him. Marlena had mentioned children before, but he’d been so disconnected at the time.

“Yes, he’s two,” Marlena told him gently. “His name is Brady, and he has his mother’s eyes. When Isabella died you were… you were broken, John. You did love her. I tried to support you as best I could. Roman was inflamed with jealousy, but at the same time, he worked constantly. Everything I did was wrong, and while he said he wanted me to help you though the grieving process, he hated that I was spending time with you. He and I got into an argument the night I left for a conference in Washington. I was supposed to be gone for a month. That was the night everything changed.”

John was hit with a memory so strong, he almost fell forward. As it was, he caught himself, with his hands behind on the dusty floor, and allowed the fear, and then immediately the relief, to wash over him. A slew of memories, scattered, random, but so strong it seemed to have happened only moments before, rocked him.

“You always did want to have things your way.”

“Doc. Doc. Come back to me. C’mon, Doc. Come back to me.”

“Did you know G-d was a baseball fan, Doc? He was. What’s the first line of the Bible?”

“As much as I loved Isabella, there was always a part of me that loved you too, Doc.”

“You were kidnapped?” he asked her.

“Yes, and you found me,” Marlena whispered, stroking her fingers over his face. “I don’t know how, but you found me. After that I had nightmares for weeks, you had dreams too… you told me.”

His words were breathy as he asked her, “What happened?”

She wanted to laugh, but it wasn’t funny. None of it was. “When I was kidnapped, or afterwards?”

“Afterwards,” he said. He was almost afraid to know, but, at the same time, he needed to know.

“We were closer after that. When you entered a room, I watched you the whole time. Our eyes would meet, and without words, we could know what the other was thinking. Roman continued to act as if nothing was wrong with our marriage, and was so often critical of my choices. He hated that you and I had grown closer. He hated that you had found me in the warehouse first, saving my life. You were still mourning Isabella, but we… we admitted one night on the pier that we still loved each other,” she told him.

“And the truth is…I still love you…”

“You’re still wearing the charm bracelet I gave you.”

“It was just you…and me…together once again.”

John shivered as memories rolled over him. For a moment, a split second in time, John felt that love. He turned to her, touching her face gently, “I don’t know you, but G-d, I feel like I used to… I wish I remembered. I don’t love you… but sometimes…” His voice trailed off, as he looked into her hazel eyes. Finally he said, “I worry about you, and I can’t explain why. I barely know you. The scent when you walk into a room, it fills my senses with something, feelings just out of reach. I find my mind grasping for them, only to have them slip away from me. It’s so frustrating!”

“Smell is an intense trigger for memory,” she told him, scooting closer. Rising up onto her knees, Marlena wrapped her fingers around the nape of his neck. She rolled her head to the side, pulling his nose towards her neck. “Smell me, John.” She was desperate for him to remember her, to remember their love. “Please,” she whispered.

Shivers wracked her body when his hands reached for her waist, pulling her closer, and his nose ran up the length of her neck, inhaling deeply the scent of lilacs, and her skin. His hands tightened on her hips, digging into her flesh. John moaned, “It’s just out of reach… something…” He couldn’t remember.

Marlena was feeling reckless. She threaded her fingers into his hair, gripping it tightly while holding his face to her neck. “Taste me. Lick me.”

“Fuck, woman,” he moaned, before licking a line along her neck, and up to her ear. In his mind he knew there was something… something just out of reach. He was reaching out for it, his frustration growing. Marlena moaned, the sound tugging at something deeper. He continued to lick her skin, placing open mouthed kisses and licks along her flesh. “Help me remember,” he begged her, finally nipping at her mouth. “Please, Doc, help me remember.”

“I would do anything, John. Anything. What do you need from me?” she asked him, kissing his lips feverishly. “What do you need?”

“I don’t know!” he said, before biting at her jaw in frustration. Suddenly, he saw himself on an airplane, with Marlena pinned underneath him, as he bit her jaw.

“What are we doing?”

“What we’ve been wanting to do for weeks…”

He paused his movement, whispering against her neck, “An airplane…”. Marlena held her breath in anticipation, waiting for what he might say next. John looked at her in awe, and said, “We had an affair?”

“We did,” she said softly, hoping he remembered something more.

“You were scared… because I was leaving… and I was leaving because…” John shook his head in frustration. “I was leaving because I… couldn’t have you. But I took you anyway…”

She smiled at him softly, touching his lips. “You did. We had an affair, and then I had Belle… your daughter, John.”

His breathing still haggard, he stared at her. “What happened?”

“My marriage to Roman eventually ended, although I tried to save it, even though I loved you beyond measure. You moved on, with Kristen…”

“Kristen is a child. I remember her as a child. The thought that I was… that I was ever intimate with her disgusts me.” He rose to his feet, stepping towards the window.

Marlena followed him, gently placing her hand on his back, “If she knew you, she never let on. She never said anything… but then she also failed to mention that she was engaged to Tony.”

“What?” he said, turning to face her.

“She was in a relationship with you, when Stefano returned. I saw him, and collapsed at the hospital. You were furious to learn that Stefano was her father, since you despised him, and she had failed to mention that. Later you found out that while she had been proclaiming her love for you, she was engaged to Tony. Tony came to Salem, and she broke things off with you.”

His mind was a whirlwind. “Tony mentioned that I tried to stop their wedding.”

“You did try. Stefano’s car exploded… everyone in Salem thinks he’s dead,” she said, rubbing her cheek on his shoulder, and breathing him in. He may not remember her, but she still found comfort in him.

“She was always sneaky, and manipulative. Of course, the little witch would try something if I had no memory of her,” he said in anger. “She had been trying to get into my bed for years.” He turned to face Marlena, saying, “I’m sorry if that hurt you.”

Quietly she told him, “I probably never would have told you, outside of this situation.”

“Why?”

“We had decided that we’d hurt too many people. You were my best friend, John. I couldn’t lose you… but Stefano lured you to Maison Blanche, and tricked me into following you,” she said.

Stefano had brought her there to control him. John knew that’s what happened. He didn’t need a memory to know that. Stefano had used Rachel’s children to control her, of course he would bring Marlena to Maison Blanche, and use threats of violence against her to control him. John stepped around Marlena, not wanting her to see him as he lost control. 

“Fuck!” he shouted, startling Marlena. “He’s lied to me. He’s used me. He pretended to be my friend. A mentor… a father figure… but it’s all been a lie. A mother fucking lie!” He felt lost. Who did he have if he didn’t have the one person he’d trusted for as long as he could remember? But then, Marlena touched him warily, trailing her fingers along his jaw. Turning his face away from her, she grabbed his face, turning it back to her forcefully. As if she knew he was on a downward emotional spiral, she whispered to him, “You have me. You will always have me. I promised you I would never give up. I promised you that we were a team.”

Suddenly, in his mind’s eyes, John saw her face, fear etched across it as he desperately whispered his last directive to her, “Every chance you get. Every opportunity… remind me. Please. If you see me, remind me. Talk about special times we spent together, the times with really strong emotion. Talk about West Virginia, the affair, Belle… anything. It will reach me. I promise, baby… it will reach me. And whatever you do, please, please, don’t give up on me.”

He was so overwhelmed with emotion, his knees buckled and he fell to the floor, looking up at Marlena standing in the sunlight as it streamed in through the window, he saw her as an angel, possibly his saving grace, and he whispered, “I begged you. I begged you to make me remember…”

Marlena collapsed before him, sobbing with joy, touching his face gently, and finally throwing her arms around his neck, “You did. You did… and I promised you, I would. I won’t give up on you, honey. I won’t give up on you.”

Chapter 16 – Getting Lost

John watched Marlena all through lunch. Stefano had elected to have his lunch served in his private chambers, and John suspected it was a medical ailment he was trying to hide from them. It allowed John and Marlena to dine together in relative seclusion. Bart was hovering around, lurking behind corners and such, but he didn’t even want to be on the island, and it was coming across in the shoddy way he was supervising them. 

He leaned towards her, “Are you feeling okay?”

She looked up at him quickly, and then said quietly, “I think I had a stomach bug I’m still trying to get over.”

He wasn’t so sure, but he said, “Hmmm. Maybe that’s why Stefano is absent this afternoon.”

“Yes,” she replied. “He’s usually watching my every move.”

“He is enamored with you.” He was quiet for a moment, and then he said, “With Stefano you must be careful. He has a history with women…”

Marlena noted that his voice trailed off and he didn’t continue what he was about to say. “Does that explain why I’m locked in the Blake Suite for my own safety?”

He glanced over to find that Bart had disappeared again. He was probably in the kitchen making another sandwich. “Rachel Blake was Kristen and Peter’s mother. The suite is named for her. Stefano designed it for her.”

“So he kept her in a gilded cage as well?” she asked. “I’m surprised it doesn’t have gold bars on the windows. Stefano’s own madness will be his demise some day. Hopefully sooner rather than later.”

“His fascination with you could turn dangerous very quickly, Marlena. You must be careful. Don’t do anything to tempt him,” John told her.

Marlena scoffed, and pushed her half eaten plate away from her. “Too late for the tidbit of advice. When we were at Maison Blanche I drugged his wine and then seduced him to steal the key to your shackles. He had his meaty hands all over me until he passed out.”

Glancing down at his wrists, he still had the scars that were the proof of his imprisonment. Did she truly love him enough to allow Stefano to touch her? He felt anger start to tremble in his chest at the thought. How far did she allow Stefano to go with her in the name of saving him from Maison Blanche.

Emotion played over his features changing and shifting quickly. Reaching out, Marlena touched his arm whispering, “He passed out before anything truly happened.”

“But he touched you?” he asked in a rough voice.

“I would have done anything to save you,” she said.

And yet they found themselves prisoners on his island in the Caribbean. “What happened?”

She stood up, and felt dizzy. She tried to play it off by gripping the edge of the table as she said, “Celeste woke up and stopped us.”

Watching her, he suspected that something else was going on with Marlena. Something more serious than a stomach ailment, but he didn’t say anything. She would tell him in her own time. He had to trust that, because he certainly didn’t trust anything else.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“You must be wary of her, John.” Stefano stepped out onto the lanai behind John coming to stand beside him as he watched Marlena near the koi pond at the edge of the garden. “She is a master of the mind. She will lure you in, and then twist the truth.”

“You believe I have forgotten my training?” John asked.

“A woman can never be trusted. An intelligent woman will deceive you, and use your own emotions to do it.” Stefano watched John for a long moment. Rolf had assured him that the microchip was working perfectly, and Stefano hadn’t seen any evidence to the contrary. There were none of the warning signs he’d had with Rachel or Gina. John followed orders without question. He watched Marlena with a complete lack of emotion. Stefano nodded his head once and walked away. He had Bart watching them and Bart had reported nothing but his own boredom.

John waited until the footsteps faded, and he approached Marlena. She sat on the ground near the pond, with her head tipped up to the sun. Her blonde hair hung down her back, and her eyes were closed. Freckles dotted her bare shoulders. Kneeling down next to her he said, “Stefano is gone.”

“You’re sure?” she whispered.

“Yes.” He traced his fingertip across the smooth skin of her collarbone, and Marlena opened her eyes to look up at him. “He said I should be wary of you. That you are a master of the mind intent on manipulating me.”

“Wow,” she chuckled. “High praise coming from a megalomaniac.”

John couldn’t help laughing. He took her hand. “We can go for that walk now, before Bart realizes he’s lost us again.”

Marlena stood up, brushing her hands over her sundress. “Why hasn’t he told Stefano he keeps losing track of us?”

“Because I reminded him that the punishment will be much worse for him than it ever would be for us.” He took her hand, and led her towards one of the garden paths that weaved through the foliage. “Come. I want to hear more about us.”

“When Belle was born, you delivered her. I’d gone out to a friends cabin to get away thinking I had time. The baby wasn’t due for a few weeks, and I needed… to think. I’d left a message for Roman, thinking he might join me, but he never got the message. Kristen had followed me to the cabin…” She stepped around a tree root, saying, “She claimed that she wanted to know what kind of man you really were. To somehow break away whatever lies her father might have told her… now I wonder if it all wasn’t a way to perpetuate her lies.”

“I delivered our daughter?” he asked me in a soft voice. Almost as if the idea of it was surprising. John didn’t fully understand the kind, gentle nature of his own heart. He didn’t know that when he loved, he loved with everything he was.

“I went into labor, and Kristen tried to help, but she needed direction, and I was in too much pain to give it to her. Alice Horton had mentioned that Kristen had gone out to the cabin to speak with me, so you followed her. When you arrived my water had already broke. I was panicking because the baby was early.” She stopped walking, and then laced her fingers through his. Staring down at their fingers, she was quiet for a moment. When she looked up at him, she said, “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t arrived. The whole pregnancy I’d believed it was Roman’s baby, but having you there to help with the delivery felt prophetic, even though I didn’t say so at the time… and oh, John, you loved her. I saw it the moment you stared down into her face as you held her in your trembling hands. It was instant.”

“I wish I could remember,” he said softly.

“You will,” Marlena told him. “I promised I wouldn’t give up on you. You will remember.” Reaching up she softly stroked his jaw, and when he closed his eyes and turned his face into her hand she knew they were making progress. 

Bart came onto the back lanai and looked around in frustration. Where the hell did they go? John and Marlena were gone again. He looked towards the garden with a growl of frustration, and then glanced at the house. He wasn’t going back in there on the off chance he’d run into Stefano. With a heavy sigh he took one of the garden paths and decided it was better to hide for an hour than to be caught without his charges. “I want to fucking strangle John Black when I get my hands on him.” 

On the other side of the garden, John cupped Marlena’s face, memorizing every feature as if he were learning it for the first time. “I want to kiss you,” he whispered.

Every kiss. Every touch. It all led them closer to his memories, and even though it felt different, it felt like home to Marlena. John would remember. It was only a matter of time. Leaning towards him, she slid her palms over his shoulders, and tucked her fingers into his closely cropped dark hair. Their lips met. Tentatively at first, but then she moaned softly, and his arms wrapped around her hips, tugging her against him. 

“John,” she gasped against his mouth. “Oh…”

“Was it like this every time?” he rasped. “Did we burst into flames with a single touch?”

“Always,” she whispered, biting at his bottom lip. “Always. Always. Always.”

“Fuck, woman.” His hands slid over her ass, holding her firmly. Fingers slid under the hem of her sundress and curled around the back of her thigh. He growled. Emotions swirled inside of him. Familiar. Soft. Tender. He squeezed her skin, mumbling, “So fucking soft.”

Marlena melted with a sigh.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sami stared at her father. Her blue eyes were full of rage as she screamed, “No!”

They were standing near Alice Horton’s front door. Austin was staying at the Horton Center. Hope was keeping watch over him because Roman didn’t trust anyone who worked for Stefano DiMera, even the unwilling. Abe watched feeling increasingly uncomfortable. 

“Sami, I’m telling you he’s dangerous, and you’re coming home!” Roman roared.

“Roman,” Abe said calmly. “Alice and Tom are here. Hope’s with Austin now, and I’ve questioned him. He’s not a threat.”

“I’m not leaving. You’ll have to pick me up and carry me home!” Sami stared at her father. “You don’t care about anyone! You don’t listen! You think you’re right about everything! And now Mom and John are gone, and Brady and Belle are alone! And you won’t even help look for them! You just makes excuses–”

Without thought, Roman smacked Sami. She cried out, and within seconds Austin was in the room with his fist twisted in Roman’s shirt as he slammed him into the wall. Rage lit his brown eyes as he said in a low voice, “You never put your hands on a woman!”

Hope stood in the doorway watching helplessly as Sami ran out of the room crying. “Grandma, can you go check on her please?”

“Of course,” Alice said quietly. 

Hope touched Austin’s back gently, whispering, “Let him go, Gio. You don’t want to hurt him.”

He growled, “You don’t hit women.”

“Roman knows that,” Abe said. “Let him go, Austin. He’ll leave. Sami can stay.”

Austin released Roman, and then turned on his heel and went after Sami. Hope stared at Roman with disappointment unsure of what to say.

Adjusting his shirt, Roman told Abe, “She’s my daughter, Abe. She’s coming home.”

“Not today,” Abe told him. “She’s staying here.”

Chapter 17 – Remembering the Hot Springs

Something was wrong. Austin could feel it deep in his bones. He watched Sami’s body language through the window of the Brady Pub. Stiff. Tension. He stood up, and his eyes locked on the man outside. Blonde hair. Brown eyes. Austin started moving towards the exit before he could even fully process what he was doing. Flashes of his sister Billie came to mind. The look in her eyes as their father backed her against a wall. Fear. He was recognizing fear. He pushed through the door, shoving the guy away from Sami. “What the hell are you doing to her, man?”

Alan shot Sami a look of mirth. “Telling people lies again?”

“I didn’t say anything,” she said quietly. 

Austin looked down at her, but she refused to meet his gaze. She was hiding something. Shame. He knew that well. He pushed the guy again, growling, “I don’t ever wanna see you near her again. You hear me?”

The other man’s eyes widened, and he sneered. “You move fast, Sami.”

Sami was barely audible when she said, “Alan, I–”

Austin moved so fast Alan didn’t have time to react. Sami flinched at the sound of Austin’s fist slamming into Alan’s face. “Austin! Stop!” she cried. But then it was over. Her aunt Hope ran out of the pub, just as Alan fell to the ground clutching his bloody nose.

“What’s going on?” Hope asked. She glanced over to see the rage written all over Austin’s face. He was so protective of Sami. “Austin… you can’t keep reacting this way–”

“ –he hurt her!” His fists clenched, as he looked at Sami saying in a broken voice, “Sami, he hurt you.”

She stared up at him with wide, sad eyes that nearly broke his heart. The same expression he’d seen in his sister’s eyes a hundred different times.

Sami felt a choking tightness in her throat. What could she say? Alan had hurt her, but she felt like it was her own fault. Wasn’t it? She wasn’t sure. Someone at school had said it was called date rape.

Austin’s eyes softened, and he stepped closer to her saying softly, “He hurt you, didn’t he?” Even without specifically saying how Alan might have hurt her, it was implied. Sami’s expression changed.

“Yes,” she whispered. “But I –it was my fault… I–”

“It’s never your fault,” he said, wiping her tears away. “Never.”

Hope suddenly knew what had happened. Her hand touched Sami’s arm, as she whispered, “Sami?”

She started to feel panic. She wasn’t a virgin anymore, and if she hadn’t been so irresponsible… if she hadn’t been trying to defy her mother at every turn… She stepped back, whispering, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“You’re a liar,” Alan yelled, wiping blood on his jeans. “Everyone in this town knows that.”

Austin looked at him, saying in a lethal tone, “I’d advise you to walk away. Right now.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Abe stood outside Shane’s house and waited. Being called there meant there was some sort of break in the case. The door opened, and Shane ushered him in. “Thank’s for coming over. I know it’s late, but I felt like it was important.”

Following Shane through the foyer and into the living room, Abe was surprised to see two other men there. One was standing near the fireplace, tall with dark curly hair. The other was tied to a chair with a gag in his mouth, staring at him with black, defiant eyes. Abe cocked an eyebrow at Shane. “You gonna explain this, buddy?”

“This,” he said, gesturing towards the fireplace, “is Käwika. He works for the ISA, but is currently undercover with the DiMera Organization. The other one works for Stefano. He’s, um, not happy at the moment. We’ve got a location for John and Marlena… now we need a plan.”

“Am I supposed to ignore the fact that he’s tied up?” Abe asked.

Shane grinned, saying, “ISA business.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stefano stared at Bart, and then pounded his fist on the desk. “A week!” he roared. “You are only now telling me that Izan has not checked in for a week? Would you have said anything if I had not asked?”

Bart stepped back a pace. “I kinda forgot, boss. I mean, you got me babysittin’ Marlena and John all the time, and I’m pulling extra shifts in the security room makin’ sure they ain’t up to sneaky stuff–”

“ –I do not want your excuses, Bart! Where are they?” Stefano demanded.

“Well, seein’ as how they were supposed to be in Salem, I got someone lookin’ into it. I should know somethin’ soon,” he said. “Definitely by tomorrow or the next day.”

“You are a buffoon, Bart. I do not even know why I keep you around,” Stefano said. “I want information by the end of the day, or I will send you to my compound in Uzbekistan.”

Bart started to argue, “I don’t speak Uzbek–”

“ –get out! I do not want to see you again until you can tell me the whereabouts of Izan and Käwika. Do you understand?”

“Yeah,” Bart mumbled. “Yeah, I got it, boss.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Roman sat across from his brother and Hope at Alice Horton’s kitchen table. It was late and he was tired, but they’d called him over saying it was urgent. He wasn’t happy to find out that Sami was upstairs with Brady and Belle already asleep for the night. He rolled his shoulders, and then shrugged. “Yeah, I know Alan Harris. He’s a friend of Sami’s. Good kid. Hard worker.”

“He raped her,” Hope said. She hated to be blunt, but bluntness might be the only thing that worked with Roman Brady. “I’m taking her to the station to press charges tomorrow.”

Bo stared at his wife. She was done playing games. At least she was done playing games with Roman. He leaned forward, saying, “Alan Harris raped Sami a few weeks ago… at his apartment.”

“No,” Roman said quickly. “No. Sami wasn’t allowed to go over to his apartment, and she would have told me.”

“Are you calling her a liar?” Hope asked.

“No,” he said. “I’m just wondering if maybe you’re confused. Did she say he raped her?”

“I can’t fucking do this.” Hope stood up, pushing her chair back with a screech across the linoleum. 

Bo watched his wife walk out, slamming the kitchen door in her wake, before turning to look at his brother in disgust. “You work almost sixty hours a week, Roman! Marlena has been gone for months. Sami has been angry and unchecked for over a year, and you fucking use her anger against her mother to fuel your own petty revenge plot. She got caught in the crossfire. Yes, he fucking raped her.”

“Okay. Okay. I just worry…” He was hesitant to say what he was thinking since Hope had stormed out, and Bo was watching him as if he wanted to kill him. “Look, I’m just going to be honest here. Sami has done some things over the last year–”

“ –she’s not fucking lying,” Bo said. “And until Marlena and John return, she’ll be wherever Brady and Belle are. Do you understand?”

Roman stood up, leaning into the table. “Now, wait a minute, she’s my daughter. I’m the one who should protect her!”

“It’s too late,” Bo replied, standing up. “She’ll either be with Hope and I, or Ma and Pop. That won’t require any change for you. You can focus on work, and the kids stay together.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John leaned back against the wall of the attic and watched Marlena eat an orange with fascination. Her fingers were so delicate, and the way she seemed to study her food was adorable. He’d never been so captivated by a woman, at least that he could recall, but maybe if he loved her the way Marlena said he did… maybe he’d been fascinated by her.

“Sometimes I have dreams,” he said. “And I wake up wondering if I’m a pervert… or if they really happened.”

She looked at him, blinking in surprise as she swallowed down the bite of orange in her mouth. “Oh… um, did you want to tell me about it?”

“I don’t know, lady. I mean it’s pretty racy,” he grinned.

She felt the heat in her cheeks, as she said, “Well, I can, um, look at it from a purely professional standpoint, and, um–” He started laughing, and her cheeks became more pink as she exclaimed, “Stop laughing!”

“You’re so fucking adorable,” he whispered. He thought about the dream he’d had right before he’d woken up that morning. Her soft skin against his as they floated through heated water. His blue eyes watched her for a moment, and then he said, “We were in a heated pond, and–”

“ –oh,” she said. She looked down at her orange. “Oh.”

John leaned towards her. “Is that all you’ve got to say? Oh? I’m going to assume by your refusal to look at me that this wasn’t just some perverted nocturnal fantasy my mind conjured up.”

“Um… no. We, um, it was during our affair,” she told him. “I’d begged you to stop pursuing me, and you’d moved on.”

“Moved on?” he asked.

“You were dating someone else. A woman named Rebecaa, and while we were on a work retreat, I heard you… our rooms were connected, and I could hear you making love to her through the wall. Roman was asleep beside me, and I was so hurt, so jealous. It drove me mad. So, I went down to the hot springs. I know you so well.” Her voice had gone soft, and when she looked up, she smiled. “I knew you would come out on your veranda afterwards. Your body… you always become so hot after making love, and so I… I lured you down to the hot springs.”

“Lured me? In what way?” He had an idea, but he wanted to hear her say it aloud.

“I stripped on the edge of the water,” she whispered. “I stood naked in the moonlight, knowing that your eyes were on my body, and I waited.”

“After warning me off… you–”

“ –I felt so ashamed that night, but I couldn’t handle the idea of your lips on her… your hands on her body. So, yes, I lured you down there, and when I knew you’d followed me, I jumped into the hot springs. I stayed under longer than I should have–”

John laughed. “ –you vixen! You wanted me to jump in after you?”

Marlena couldn’t help the shy smile she gave him. “Yes… I wanted you to come after me.”

They sat almost five feet apart, but the air between them vibrated with electricity. He felt like he could still feel her skin against his, the gentle wash of warm water flowing between their bodies. “I wanted you,” he said softly. “In my dream… I fought that need so hard. My body ached for you, and when I woke this morning I didn’t understand why we hadn’t made love… if it was simply a dream.”

Marlena was quiet for a moment, and then she told him, “We didn’t make love that night, because you loved me enough to say no. I wouldn’t have refused you. I–I practically begged you… and back in my room–”

She stopped speaking, and John smirked. He knew exactly what she’d done when she’d gone back to her room. “Did you make yourself come in bed next to your husband while you thought about me?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

Chapter 18 – John Remembers Sami

Three days later, John found Marlena backed up against the bookshelves in the library, with Stefano leaning against her. His fingers were wrapped in her hair. Marlena had her face turned away from him, and there was a tightness to her jaw, like she was trying to keep herself from screaming. A flash of memory hit him quickly, I will die before I let him touch you. The thought of him with you… no. I’ll kill him with my bare hands before that happens. No one will touch you! He was enraged, flexing his fingers rapidly, while planning a hundred different ways to kill the old man with his bare hands. Slowly, Marlena’s eyes lifted, meeting his over Stefano’s shoulder. He took a step forward, but only the slightest almost imperceptible shake of her head stopped him. Her voice was soft and clear as she said, “Um, Stefano, I think we have company.”

John immediately schooled his face to reflect an air of boredom, but his heart still beat at a rapid staccato pace. Stefano turned to face him, letting go of her hair as he stepped away. “Ah, John. Good to see you.”

John watched Marlena scramble back, grab the book she had dropped, and scurry from the room without looking at him. “What was that about?”

“Oh, nothing. We were just having a conversation,” Stefano said nonchalantly.

John knew what he’d seen, and it certainly didn’t look like a conversation. She’d looked frightened out of her mind. Passively he said, “She didn’t seem to be much in the talking mood.”

Stefano eyed John for a moment, gauging if there was any hidden meaning behind his comment. Certain that there wasn’t any, Stefano laughed, and replied, “Sometimes women need some persuasion to know what they want, John.”

“Persuasion could sometimes be considered sexual assault,” John replied blandly, walking away, and scanning a nearby bookshelf.

Stefano chuckled again before leaving the room, saying, “Perhaps in some instances.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sami was having a hard time hearing the conversation through the kitchen door. Why were they practically whispering? No one would tell her anything, and now she found herself eavesdropping on conversations in the hope that she might get snippets of information she could piece together to somehow learn the whole story. She shifted her feet to try and get her ear more firmly against the wood, lost her balance, and instead fell into her grandparents dining room. She stood there sheepishly for a moment, while everyone at the table stared at her in shock. Finally she said loudly, “I deserve to know what’s going on, too!”

Hope started laughing, and looked at Bo. She’d been worried about Sami all week. Filing charges at the Salem Police Department had been hard on her. Alan Harris had started a smear campaign against her. She and Bo had made the decision to pull her out of school as a result. The whole family had rallied behind her, and not surprising to Hope, Austin had become her strongest supporter. Seeing Sami doing something so typically Sami was encouraging. “That is your niece, Bo!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked her in outrage.

Shane just smiled, while Abe said, “I’m surprised you have to even ask that, partner.”

“Tell me what’s going on!” Sami demanded. Her grandparents looked at each other, and finally after a long pause, Caroline waved Sami over to the table, and pulled out a chair between her and Austin. Sami sat down in relief, and said, “Daddy won’t tell me anything! It’s not fair!”

“Sami, your Dad doesn’t know anything,” Bo said in frustration.

“Oh,” she said as she deflated.

Sighing heavily, Bo muttered, “He doesn’t want to know anything if I’m being brutally honest. I tried to tell him what was going on with the case and he said he’s…” Bo hesitated for a moment, not sure he wanted to tell her that her father didn’t give a damn about anything relating to the search for her mother.

“Don’t lie to me, Uncle Bo. I’m not a baby. I’m nearly eighteen, and it’s my mom and da—John,” she corrected quickly. 

“Yer right, Sami, and we don’t want ye thinkin’ ye don’t matter. So, go on Shane. Tell what ye know so far,” Shawn said. “Sami’s been snooping around long enough. She likely knows most of it already.”

Austin snorted next to her, and she shot him a glare, whispering, “Shut up.”

“We know where he’s holding them. We have intel from a recent trip Tony DiMera took to see his father, as well as an undercover ISA agent. Tony was willing to visit his father, and wear a wire to record the conversation. That means we have confirmation of the kidnapping, as well as the fact that Stefano DiMera is, in fact, alive,” Shane said smiling.

“Are they okay?” Sami asked with worry. The longer they were gone the worse she felt. She’d been so horrible over the last year, and maybe it was growing up, or maybe it was her own difficult times, but she’d been viewing their affair differently. She’d been viewing her fathers behaviors differently as well. Had he always been so dismissive?

“We aren’t sure. Tony wasn’t able to see either of them, although he did confirm that according to his father, John’s micro chip has already been reset. Stefano led him to believe that John has no memory of his life between 1984 and this year,” Shane replied. “My undercover agent says they are both healthy, and he confirms that John has been reset. He doesn’t remember Marlena, or anything after 1984.”

Caroline gasped, holding her hand to her chest, “Poor Marlena!”

“Tony thinks that Stefano believes that with enough effort… Marlena will fall in love with him. The ISA is aware that Stefano has a history of fixating on women, believing himself to be in love with them… we are trying to come up with a plan to get them out, with as little risk as possible to either of them.” Shane sighed, and then said, “It’s possible that John might remember, but we can’t count on that, and we have no way of knowing.”

“Shane, the ISA has to… they have to…” Sami’s voice rose in panic. “I have to see mom and dad! I have to tell them I love them! I have to say I’m sorry!”

“Sami, honey,” Bo said, leaning towards her. “We’re going to get them out. I promise you, or I’ll die trying.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John had waited to go in search of Marlena, because he was concerned that Stefano might be watching him. He’d seen Bart asleep in the hallway outside her room, and then put the surveillance video on a loop. Opening the hidden panel in her bedroom wall, he’d quietly gestured for her to follow him. Taking her hand in his, he led her through the darkened passageway towards the attic. Softly he asked her, “Are you okay?”

They reached the top of the stairs, and he slid the panel open in the attic. Peering up at him with swollen, tear filled eyes she held her hand out to him, whispering, “John…”

He found himself taking her small hand in his, and folding her into his arms as they sank to the floor. “I couldn’t come right away,” he whispered, close to her ear. “I had to wait. I’m sorry—”

“I know. I know… we have to be careful. Especially since you’re beginning to remember things.” She rubbed her cheek on his shirt. “I don’t want you to think that I–”

“ –I don’t” he said. “I’ve seen… he’s done this before. I don’t believe you encouraged him. Are you okay, baby? You seemed so scared,” he said, while tucking her head under his chin. It wasn’t lost on him that he’d called her baby.

“I keep remembering what happened with…” Marlena paused, realizing that John wouldn’t know what she was talking about. Finally she said, “I was raped once, and then soon after, I was almost murdered by a man who had stalked me for months. Stefano… he… he doesn’t respect my space. He won’t respect my boundaries, and I feel so caged around him. It’s a trigger for those memories, and now—oh, G-d, now…” She hadn’t told him about the pregnancy, but now she knew for certain that she was going to have another child. Stefano’s advances and the vulnerability of having her child while captive was almost too much. He would take her child. He would use it to control her.

John was not sure how to comfort her, this was all so foreign to him. He knew he wanted to help her, and he could tell from the way she’d paused that there was something else. Something she was leaving out. With a questioning look on his face, he tipped her chin up until her hazel eyes met his deep blue one. “Marlena?”

The simple act of saying her name on a question, emotionally broke her. Marlena rubbed her cheek against him again, sobbing as if she might be the loneliest person in the world. “You can’t tell Stefano, John. If I tell you this, you can’t tell him,” she cried. “You have to promise.”

Stefano had warned him about her. Was she manipulating him? It didn’t feel that way. It felt… different. “I won’t,” he said. “Whatever it is, I won’t.”

Marlena whispered, “I’m pregnant.”

John’s heart stuttered in his chest, and he stopped breathing for a moment, finally saying, “It’s— it’s mine?”

Her soft voice said, “Yes.”

His fingers found a tendril of her hair, as he asked, “How do you know if you are? Is that why you were sick?”

“I don’t—not for sure, but there are other signs,” she told him.

“What signs? I’ve never known anyone who was pregnant,” he said, but then Marlena looked at him incredulously. He clarified, “Not that I can remember.”

“Increased appetite, I missed my period, my breasts are swollen, and sore, plus almost everything smells bad. I thought at first maybe it might be stress, but with the other symptoms…”

A baby complicated things, and yet, John felt himself feeling inexplicable joy, and another feeling – pride. His hand slid over her abdomen, settling on the soft curve of her belly, when he asked her, “How could you know for sure?”

“Honestly? I can’t. Not without a pregnancy test,” she said with a small smile. “But I feel so strongly that I am. It’s too soon after Belle. She’s barely eight months old, and we’re, well, we’re in a dangerous situation.”

Contacting someone outside of the compound would be dangerous, but John was willing to risk it for her. For them, because he couldn’t imagine allowing her to go without him. “Is there someone—someone I could contact?”

It was the first time he’d offered to do something that went directly against Stefano’s orders. Sneaking around and meeting while Bart tried to keep track of them had seemed like a game to John. What he was offering to do was dangerous. “You’d do that?”

“I don’t remember most of our life together, I won’t lie, but I remember some of it. Bits and pieces, and sometimes those little shards of memory bowl me over with the power of the emotions that come with them. I don’t remember the little details, lady, but we were something… something powerful,” he said softly.

“Abe Carver,” she whispered almost frantically. “We have to get a hold of him or Bo… Bo Brady, at the Salem Police Department. We can’t trust anyone else, John.” Looking up at him seriously, she said again, for emphasis, “No one else.”

“I can call them. I just need a number.” John felt an odd sense of betrayal over what he was about to do, but then he was hit with another memory.

“We’re in this together. The only person I can depend on is you, and I want you to depend on me, okay? Promise me, John. We’re a team,” she told him, with her head resting on his chest.

“I promise, Doc. I do need you,” he said softly, kissing the top of her head.

Marlena’s heart soared when he said, “We’re a team. Right, Doc?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Abe was exhausted. It was after ten o’clock, and Lexie had already called him three times in an attempt to get him to come home. Finally deciding to call it night, he dropped the case file on his desk, and gathered his things to leave. He turned off the light, and just as he was closing the door the telephone rang. Sighing heavily, he walked back to his desk, and snatched up the receiver, saying, “Salem PD.”

A familiar voice came over the line. “I’d like to speak with Abe Carver.”

Abe grinned, “This is Abe. John? John is that you?”

There was a long silence before John replied. Abe could hear the hesitance in him. “Marlena said I could trust you.”

“Yes, you can trust me. Are you okay? Are you safe? We’re trying to get you out of there, but we have to be careful. The ISA sent Tony undercover to gather evidence that Stefano is alive. We needed proof that the two of you have been kidnapped. We’re working on a plan. G-d, buddy, it’s so good to hear your voice,” Abe said.

“Tony is working with you?” John asked, confused. “Why would he?”

“Stefano’s activities have never sat well with Tony. He wanted to help. He considers Marlena a friend,” Abe told him. “He considers you a friend.”

“Who else?” John asked, growing even more wary. He didn’t like unknown variables. He was afraid because he didn’t know these people, and he could only trust what Marlena was telling him. Who could he trust? Marlena had told him only Abe Carver and Bo Brady.

Abe repeated, “Who else? I’m confused about what you’re asking, John.”

John growled into the telephone, “Who else is aware of what’s going on?”

“Bo, Caroline, Shawn, Sami, and Shane,” Abe said.

“You’ve got to tell me who the fuck these people are! I don’t know them,” John said with frustration. “I don’t know you! I’m just trusting that Marlena is telling me the truth, and I gotta be honest with you, buddy, Stefano isn’t making that easy!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, man. So, um, Caroline and Shawn are Roman and Bo’s parents. When everyone thought you were Roman, they were your parents. They’re worried about you. Bo is like a brother to you. Shane Donovan works for the ISA,” Abe said quickly.

“Who is Sami?” he asked, losing his patience at a rapidly growing rate.

“Sami is Marlena’s daughter, you raised her for seven years. She’s seventeen.” Abe rubbed his face. “You love her like she’s your own.”

“Why is a seventeen year old involved in this?” John asked him.

Abe started laughing, “If you had your memory you wouldn’t be asking that, partner. Sami is quite the firecracker… she reminds me a lot of you.”

“Sami you can’t organize protests at school,” John said, kneeling down to get on her level while trying to keep himself from laughing. She was entirely too smart.

“Is it because I’m still little? ‘Cause that’s dumb, Daddy. The whole project was dumb! It was a poster contest for ‘Save the Trees’ and they wanted us to use POSTERBOARD!” She said with childlike outrage.

John thought for a moment, fighting to stave off the grin that threatened to overtake his face, “You’re right. You’re right, Peanut. That doesn’t make much sense, I’ll admit that, but you’ve got to understand second graders don’t usually organize sit-ins.”

“They worked for Ghandi!” she shouted in outrage.

“Ghandi wasn’t eight!” John said, trying to get her to understand.

Abe was concerned when the line went silent for a long moment, “John?”

“Yeah, I’m still here. I think… I just remembered something,” he said. “Look, I’ve gotta go. Marlena said to call you, and tell you where we are, but you already know, so I can go.”

Abe replied, “The ISA is working with Bo and Hope to come up with a plan. Hope is familiar with the layout of the compound from the time that Stefano had her.”

John wanted to scream. He ground out, “Who is Hope?”

“Bo’s wife,” Abe said. Abe considered telling this new version of John about what Stefano had done to Hope, but decided it was best not to. “Listen, partner, we’re going to get you guys out of there.”

“It needs to be soon. Marlena thinks she’s pregnant. If she is, Stefano can’t find out,” John told him. “He’ll use that baby as a weapon.”

Abe was a little more than surprised. The last he had heard Marlena had been trying to fix things with Roman, but then he remembered what he had said to Bo just a couple weeks ago. Marlena and John always grew closer in times of adversity. “She’s pregnant?”

John rubbed his hands over his face. “She thinks so. If she is, she says it’s my baby. I believe her. I don’t think she’d lie to me, anyway.”

Abe smiled. “If Marlena says the baby is yours, it is, John. You once told me that she’s the most honest person you know.”

“I feel like that’s true. When I look into her eyes… I don’t feel like she’s being dishonest,” John said. “Look, I can’t stay on this line. I’ve got to go. I’ve been on here too long as it is. I just need to be able to tell her… is someone coming?”

“Yes. I’ll see if we can move up the timeline. A baby complicates things, and you’re right, Stefano will use that baby against you both.”

“It’s still early.”

“Can you call me back in two days? Same time?” Abe asked him, hoping that by then he would have more concrete information.

“I can,” John said, and then hung up the phone.

Abe stared at the disconnected line still dangling from his hand. Scrubbing his free hand over his face, he muttered, “Fuck…” He then dialed Shane quickly. As soon as Shane answered the phone, Abe said, “Shane we’ve got a problem.”

Chapter 19 – Snippets & Snapshots

*Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault*

Hope awoke around 3:00 in the morning, and was unable to go back to sleep. After checking on Belle and Brady, she headed down to the kitchen to make some tea, and read for a while, hoping that maybe the sleep that eluded her might decide to make a return. Probably not. Sleep had been a problem ever since Abe and Shane had first briefed them all about the precarious situation that John and Marlena currently found themselves in. After the second briefing, Hope now knew that John’s memory had been wiped, and he only seemed to trust Marlena. Remembering Abe’s conversation with them the previous morning, she sighed.

“He’s scared. I could hear it in his voice, and he’s worried. It was obvious that Stefano had already reset the microchip. He was… agitated. Not sure who certain people were. Not sure who he could trust, but it was also evident that the memory wipe wasn’t completely successful. Stefano has no idea, based on the intel we received from Tony… and based on the level of frustration I noted in John’s voice when I mentioned people he wasn’t familiar with. I believe he was only able to recall one of you,” Abe said, turning to Sami. He smiled at her. “He remembered you.”

“Me?” she asked softly.

“Yes, he asked me who you were, and when I mentioned what a firecracker you are… he got very quiet for a moment, and then he said ‘I remembered something.’ It was you.”

Hope recalled the fleeting joy that had crossed over her niece’s face when Abe said John remembered Sami. She knew then that Sami’s relationship with John and Marlena was not as far gone as the family had feared. Sami had been uncharacteristically quiet for the rest of the morning, and throughout the day after the next bit of information.

Abe had glanced around the table, obviously unsure if he should proceed. Glancing at Sami quickly, he finally decided to simply say what he needed to, “We need to come up with a plan… and quickly. John said, Marlena is pregnant. Marlena told him it’s his baby, and he believes her. It was obvious from his tone that he cares about her, even if his memories aren’t fully intact.”

“My mom’s having another baby?” Sami asked Abe, softly.

Abe sighed. “According to John, yes. Stefano doesn’t know, and it’s still early, but they’re afraid of Stefano learning about the pregnancy. We’ve got to come up with a plan, fast. John’s calling me back tomorrow night.”

Hope came to the bottom of the stairs, and was surprised to find Sami sitting on the floor with Austin, surrounded by old photo albums. Sami looked up, and Hope realized that she’d been crying. “Sami, honey, what are you doing down here at this time of the morning?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Sami replied absently, looking back at the album in front of her. “You know, John was a good Dad.”

“John was an excellent father,” Hope said, approaching her slowly.

Austin was quiet beside Sami, and Hope knew that discussing family was hard for him. Waking up after having his microchip removed was almost like waking to a nightmare. Hope wondered if they’d actually done him a disservice.

“I haven’t allowed myself to think about it since daddy came home. It’s like I shut it down, and didn’t allow myself to miss him,” Sami whispered, looking at a photo of her and John before one of her softball games. “When they came back from Mexico, and John said he wasn’t my daddy… I’ve never felt pain like that before. And then he left us… and I just shut down. I wouldn’t think about it. I wouldn’t let myself miss him. I wouldn’t let myself love him anymore… all because it hurt too much.”

“Sami, you were allowed to love them both,” Hope told her quietly, lowering herself to the floor beside her.

“But mom wasn’t, and that’s how we ended up here isn’t it?” She was quiet for a moment, and then she said, “And Dad… he was so jealous and angry, you know?”

“Your Mom and John never really resolved their feelings, did they? I wasn’t there during that time, but I like to think that if I had been, maybe it would have gone differently. Their love is a deep love. The kind you won’t fully understand until you’re an adult. Roman, your father, well, he has never been the same either. He’s not the man he was when you and Eric were born. The man who returned to us, is angrier. Seven years of isolation and abuse can change a person,” Hope murmured.

“John was always there for me, Eric, and Carrie, you know? He coached our sports teams, he explained why I couldn’t do crazy impulsive things, he had dinner with us… we were a family…” Sami’s voice trailed off.

Hope knew that Sami didn’t want to say anything bad about Roman, but she also knew that her brother-in-law, as much as she loved him, was a mostly absent father. His job was his main excuse, but it was so much more complex. She’d spent time with her since she’d returned, and one thing she’d noted was that he was overly critical of the children, and Marlena. His refusal to help with the investigation disgusted her. He had become hardened, and angry from his experiences with Stefano, but also because he had idealistic expectations for his return. Hope could admit that realizing Bo had two significant relationships in her absence had hurt, but she refused to be bitter about it. Roman allowed that hurt to fester.  

Hope reached for Sami’s chin, turning her face to look at her gently, “You can love them both. Sami you have enough love in you. You don’t have to pick sides, and I hope that Roman hasn’t made you feel like you need to. Your mother is going to need you when she gets home. Belle and Brady need you… and John. John misses you and Eric so much. I know he must, because he loved you so much. As much as you lost, you have to remember, John lost more. You’re old enough to face this now, honey. John lost his identity, his job, and his wife… but losing you, Eric, and Carrie? That probably destroyed him.”

“It did?” Sami asked.

“It did,” Hope said. It had to have, because he’d devoted his life to those kids in Marlena’s absence.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Marlena’s skin was so soft under his hands. Stefano trailed his fingers over her while she slept, and then marveled at the silkiness of her hair as the strands fell through his fingers. Slowly, he began to push the blankets down her body, exposing her newly bronzed skin to the full moonlight streaming in through the window. Someday she would come willingly into his bed, but the waiting was growing harder. He felt his cock lengthen, as he took in the sight of her curves, the satin of her nightgown hugging her hips, and her lips open slightly in sleep. 

She rolled over, sighing in her sleep, “John… John, I need you.”

No matter what he did for her, she still yearned for John. John did not even know her. He was cold, distant, and it should have broken her. It only seemed to make her more determined to break through to him. Stefano wanted to rage. He wanted to break things. He wanted to show Marlena who she really wanted. Stefano felt his fists clench in anger, as he continued watching her sleep while she dreamed of John. 

He said to himself, “John is lost to you, Marlena. I have made sure of that, and you are mine now.”

“John,” she murmured. “I love you… I love you… oh…”

He felt his hands fist into the soft yellow fabric of her nightgown, dragging it up her long legs, exposing her skin to him an inch at a time. She needed to know. He had to show her that she was his. He jerked the fabric violently, the force of it waking Marlena with a sharp cry. She was confused, and disoriented, until her eyes landed on Stefano standing beside her bed. She scrambled for something to cover her body, but Stefano wrestled the blankets away from her.

“Stop! Stop it!” she screamed.

“You sleep in my house, under my hospitality, and you dream of a man who is gone!” Stefano raged. “The John Black you knew is dead! Dead!” He roared, pulling at the thin straps to her nightgown, ripping them from her shoulders.

Her panicked hands kept the fabric up, covering her breasts. Struggling to keep her wits about her, Marlena hissed, “I fucking hate you! I hate you! I will never want you! I will never love you, and as long as I still breathe, I will never give up on John!”

Stefano reached forward, tearing the fabric of her bodice out of her hands, baring her breasts to him. She had beautiful breasts, with full, rosy peaks, and his mouth watered at the thought of biting them. Marlena saw the look in his eyes, and screamed, rolling away from him, and hurrying off of the bed. “Get away from me! Get away!”

“I do not rape women, Marlena, although I admit, the thought of it with you intrigues me,” Stefano drawled. “But you, my dear Dr. Evans, you will come to me willingly.” He watched her scramble onto the floor on the other side of the bed, tucking herself against the bedside table. She stared up at him in fear. “When we make love, you will finally know the depth of my love for you.”

“Never. Never!” she shrieked at him, warily watching him. “I’d rather die.”

“You will change your mind, Marlena. Once you realize that John is truly lost to you, and all you have in this world is me. You will come to me willingly, and I will make love to your sweet body for hours,” Stefano murmured, looking over her nearly naked skin as she huddled in the corner. “Besides, John will not get involved in my love affairs. He is very well trained.” He turned, and left the room, the door closing with a soft snick behind him.

Stefano had just exited her room when John came casually around the corner. He seemed surprised. “John, it is rather early for you to be up,” Stefano said, watching him, and wondering if it was merely a coincidence that John was there right then.

“You know, I sometimes don’t sleep well,” John said blandly, as if he was bored. In actuality, Marlena’s scream had traveled down the long hallway, waking John from his sleep. His heart was racing, and he needed to see her. He needed to know that she was unhurt.

“Since you are here,” Stefano said, tossing the key to Marlena’s room at him. “Lock her door, and instruct the staff to leave it locked. I want all of her meals delivered. She will see no one but me, do you understand?”

“I do,” John said, catching the key. He struggled to stay calm, to maintain the bored affect of his face. Stefano could not know about John’s growing affection for the woman on the other side of that door.

He watched Stefano stalk down the hall, waiting several minutes before he entered the room. He found Marlena huddled in the corner. Kneeling down before her, his hand carefully tipped her chin up. She tried to flinch away from him, so he whispered, “It’s me, Marlena.” Her eyes met it, and it nearly broke his heart. Her clothing was torn, and her eyes were swollen from crying. “Marlena, honey, I have to lock your door… I’ll be back though. Do you trust me? I will be back.”

“Yes,” she whispered.

John stared at her face for a long moment. Her hazel, tear filled eyes gazed back at him with all of the love, and trust she possessed. He was rocked to his core by a sense of love so strong, it nearly bowled him over. He barely knew her, but he would die for that woman. John leaned forward, and kissed her forehead, whispering, “I’ll be right back.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Marlena wasn’t sure exactly how much time had passed when she found herself being gathered into John’s arm, and taken through a panel in the wall. She didn’t have the energy to question it, she simply slipped her arms around his neck, and absorbed the strength of the man holding her. He carefully navigated a narrow staircase, and once he had her in the attic he laid her on a set of soft blankets and several pillows, gently running his fingers over her face. Reaching for the water he had brought for her, John cradled her body against his, and whispered, “Drink, Marlena. I can’t have you going into shock.” 

He watched her drink greedily, and then settle her head against his chest. He started talking softly in her ear, “I’m calling your friend Abe back tonight. Hopefully, they’ll have a plan in place for getting us out of here. I told him… I told him about the baby.”

Finally, she said, “You did?”

He touched a strand of her hair, watching the light play in the pieces. “I did. I wanted them to know that your safety, and the safety of this child, should be a priority.”

Marlena reached for John’s hand, and threaded her fingers through his. Splaying his palm over her abdomen, she whispered, “Our last day at Maison Blanche… we knew that Stefano was going to bring us here, and separate us. We’d been together in the dungeon off and on for weeks. You were talking of your love for Kristen. I was talking of trying to fix my marriage to Roman, but the whole time we were leaning on each other for support. I never stopped loving you after our affair, John. I couldn’t, but we forced ourselves to move on. I realized I loved you more and more the longer Stefano held us. He would take you away for hours, and return you to me covered in bruises, and cuts,” she said. “You’d be delirious from the drugs, and… one time you looked at me… you said, I love you… I’ve always loved you. I will die loving you. It broke my heart, because I remember thinking, what did it all mean, if we were both still wanting each other? When did we get to make each other happy, and stop living our lives to make everyone else happy?” She was silent for a moment, before she started speaking again, “Stefano locked us in a room together, telling us to make ourselves presentable before our flight here, and I decided, I was done fighting my feelings for you. I was done fighting for Roman, when that love died back in 1984. I wanted you. And this baby, John, this baby was conceived that night, and I don’t regret it. I don’t regret loving you… and even though you don’t fully remember me, I will never give up on you… or our love.”

“I feel things for you, all the time. I worry about your safety, especially here. I heard you scream earlier, and it woke me up. I wanted to kill Stefano, but I have to continue this farce. I have to keep pretending that I don’t care about you. I can’t show concern for you. He can’t know, because while he’s dangerous now… knowing that I care for you would make him lethal,” John told her. “I promised you he wouldn’t touch you… but here you are with your clothing torn, and I know… I know he tried to do something.”

Marlena sat up, turning to face him, the fabric of her nightgown falling slightly to reveal the curve to her breasts. “I was dreaming about you… and he was watching me. I must have said your name. I woke up to him standing over me in rage. He had pulled the blankets off of me, and was pulling at my nightgown… tearing it.”

John touched her cheek softly, catching her tears on his thumbs as they swept over her face, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to stop him.”

“Kiss me,” she whispered, leaning closer to him. “I want to forget, John.”

John’s large palm swept over her bare shoulder, as he looked into her eyes, “Are you sure?”

“Yes… kiss me,” she said.

He leaned in, lightly grazing her lips. His tongue swept over her mouth, and his soft lips sucked on hers. “You taste so good,” he rasped against her, as his fingers swept over the soft skin of her shoulders. “When I kiss you… it’s like I can almost remember… almost. You taste like memories.”

“I want you to remember me… us, our life together. I want that so much,” she said, licking along his neck, and threading her fingers in his hair. She pulled herself up, straddling his body, while their mouths nipped, and sucked at each other. After long moments, Marlena leaned back, almost breathless, and told him, “I want to forget Stefano, this place, Maison Blanche. I’m so tired of fighting him, John. So tired…”

“I brought you some clothes,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers, trying to ground himself, when all he wanted to do was make love to her in the soft nest of blankets he had created here in the attic. When he looked down he saw her breasts, uncovered, pressing against him, and remembered another time.

The glow from the fireplace danced across Marlena’s skin, as she slowly rode his cock. John thought he might be overcome from the intense emotion, and love he felt for her. His memory was limited, less than a year, but he loved her. He loved her with everything in him. Finding out he was Roman, that he was not Stefano, had opened up a new world for him. Marlena, the children, his job… he’d never been so happy. Sitting up, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, rolling his hips with hers, slowly. “I love you, Doc,” he moaned against her skin. “I love you…”

He stared down at her. “I remembered something.”

“Tell me about it,” she whispered.

“Us. In front of a fireplace… you were… you were…” John’s voice caught in his throat, tight with arousal, and his hands gripped her hips tightly, pulling her hard against his burgeoning cock. He didn’t want to scare her. Catching his fingers up in the satin fabric around her waist, his face dipped into her neck, sucking lightly at the skin there.

Marlena’s center throbbed with the beat of her heart, and her head rolled back giving him greater access to her neck, until she felt his mouth on her breast. She watched him, laving his tongue over her nipple before pulling it into his mouth. John groaned into her. Marlena moaned loudly, “John…”

“G-d, woman, I want you so bad. You’re like a drug I crave. I dream about you constantly. I don’t know what’s real… or what’s imagined, but I want it,” he said looking into her eyes. “I want all of it. I want weekend vacations where I teach you to pick locks, I want pancakes with the children, and Christmas morning’s with you. I want it all.”

She gasped softly. “How much have you remembered?”

“I don’t know… it’s all jumbled.” He hadn’t told her about most of it because he couldn’t differentiate between actual memories, or things, emotions, events his mind might have fabricated. “There’s no order to it. The emotions are intense, the memories are chaotic, but one thing is steady through it all… you.”

“Have you remembered anything that doesn’t involve me?”

His voice was soft when he told her, “Carrie, I think… skating, softball games, helping her get ready for a date… and Sami, a dance class, organizing a protest… beating up a boy… but it’s nothing but snips and pieces. Flashes of images… I don’t feel I can trust any of it.”

Marlena smiled, “Sami was involved in a protest?”

John smiled, “I think Sami organized a protest.”

“Do you remember Eric?” Marlena asked.

“The boy? Yeah, helping him with his homework, and baseball. But I also think I remember Brady…” He was quiet for a moment as a warm feeling came over him when he had an image of soft brown eyes.

“What about Belle? Do you remember Belle?” Marlena asked him.

“I remember wishing she was mine…” he whispered. “When she was born, you held her in your arms. I ran my finger over her soft hair, and I ached wanting her to be mine.”

“She is yours… we found out a few months later… she’s yours,” Marlena said. “I didn’t know that you’d recalled so much.”

He allowed his head to lean back against the pile of pillows they sat in. “Only things about you, and the children, but not really anything else. Enough to know, I was happy. I was happy…”

She sighed, resting her face against him. “We’re going to figure this out, John. We’re a team, remember? You and me.”

“A team,” John said smiling. “Yeah, I remember…”

“I love you,” she whispered. “I’m never giving up on you. We’re going to make it out of here, and we’ll raise this baby… together, John. You, me, and the children.”

“You’re beautiful, Marlena. Everything about you is beautiful.” He leaned forward, cupping her face in his hands, and whispered, “So fucking beautiful.” He kissed her again, licking across the seam of her lips.

Marlena was quiet for a long while, before she sighed, and said, “I have to go back. I heard what he said to you about locking me in. If he checks, or if he has Bart check… I have to be there.”

He stood up, and then reached down to take her hand. “I know, but, fuck, I don’t want to leave you in there. Let me show you the secret panel, and how it works. If there’s ever an emergency, you can use it to get out.”

“I should have known there was a secret passageway,” she murmured, taking John’s hand and rising to her feet.

“I’m calling Abe Carver back tonight,” he said. “They have enough brains working on a plan. They’ll figure this out.”

Marlena was quiet for a moment, and then she asked him, “Enough brains? Who exactly is involved in this, John?”

He started listing people, “Bo, and Abe, and then some other people… um, Shawn, Caroline, a man named Shane—”

Marlena’s eyes widened. “Shane Donovan?”

“I don’t know. Abe said he’s with the ISA.”

“Then it’s Shane Donovan. I’m sure of it. Was there anyone else?” she asked him, as she followed him to a secret passageway at the back of the attic.

John turned and smiled at her, “Yeah… Sami.”

“Sami! Who allowed her to get involved in this?” Marlena tried not to think too much about Sami since Stefano had taken them. It hurt so much.

“If she’s anything like I remember when she was younger… they didn’t have much choice,” John said with a smirk.

Chapter 20 – Changes Are Coming

Sami sat on the Horton’s back porch swing with Austin beside her listening to the sounds of frogs, and other nocturnal creatures. He reached for her hand holding it, and she knew she was falling in love with him. It was an odd thing really, for her anyway. She’d always had a habit of immediately falling for someone based on their looks, but with Austin, it had been more of a slow burn. Friends first. Her mom had always said that being best friends with a partner was the most important, and she’d never really understood that until recently. 

Her mom and her dad had never been best friends that she could remember. Their house had been full of tension. Roman was quick to argue, and her mom… her mom had been so defeated. Why hadn’t she seen that earlier? Roman cowed everyone in their house. He ruled with brashness, loudness, and demanding nature. None of them had been truly happy, and yet Sami had fought with everything she had to hold it together, while it fell apart piece by piece. 

When Sami had kidnapped Belle, she’d seen those dynamics play out over and over again. Roman hadn’t been there for her mother. He’d been out searching for her sister. He’d been consumed with the search, refusing to give up, and while that was admirable… he’d left her mother by the wayside. John had been the one to support Marlena. He’d been the one to make sure she ate, check on things that needed done in the house, hold her when she’d cried. 

At the time it had made Sami even more angry. But everything was different. Once Roman found out about the affair and Belle’s parentage, he’d walked away from Marlena and the baby without a backward glance. How did he do that? Sami didn’t understand how he could simply turn his emotions off with the flip of a switch. But that was what really opened her eyes. That’s when she’d realized it was exactly what she’d expected from her mother and John, and yet she’d been living with her own pain ever since they’d all returned from Mexico. 

If she couldn’t turn off her emotions, why should she expect that her mom and John could? But she had. Her need to control the things in her life that were out of her control had driven her to change Belle’s blood test results, and kidnap her sister. She was ashamed of that, and the longer she was in therapy the more she realized that emotions were what they were. Messy. Sometimes impulsive. Often out of control. 

She sighed and allowed her head to fall and rest on Austin’s shoulder. He asked her softly, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know… I guess,” she whispered. “I think I’m relieved.”

“He won’t be able to make bail. He’ll be in there until the trial,” he said.

Sami felt sick thinking about Alan and what he’d done to her. Carrie and Lucas had tracked down three other girls who’d also made statements to the police about Alan raping them. The last one had allowed a rape kit to be done. He would be convicted, but they would live with the pain of what he’d done for the rest of their lives. “I always thought when I lost my virginity it would be beautiful. My mom always said that if I found the right person it would be, but what Alan did to me–”

“ –it’s not the same, Sami. It’s not. My sister, Billie, she thought the same thing. She thought that what our father did to her had ruined her, but it wasn’t true. She was still beautiful, and gentle… she was amazing, and what he did to her wasn’t something that made her less. What Alan did to you… it doesn’t define you. You’re kind. You’re smart… and you’re beautiful,” he said gently.

Sami stared up at him, and she wanted him to kiss her so badly, but she knew he wouldn’t. He’d just turned twenty. She wouldn’t be eighteen until October. He’d already explained that he wouldn’t kiss her until she was legal. Giving him a smile, she said, “You know, my Uncle Bo and my Aunt Hope kissed before she was eighteen.”

“I’ll admit that I want to kiss you. But… we’ll wait.” He squeezed her hand, and then placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. He dreamed about kissing Samantha Brady, but he’d seen too much in his brief life. Sami had been used, and she needed to know her own worth. He was determined to show her that. He might spend the rest of his life proving to her how wonderful she was. “Maybe for your birthday.”

Laying her head back on his shoulder, she sighed, and closed her eyes to the gentle sway of the porch swing. She whispered, “Okay.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Abe sat at his desk with Shane and Bo waiting for the telephone call they were expecting from John. He was getting nervous because it was almost a half an hour past the scheduled time, but John had assured him he would be calling. His biggest fear was that something had happened or gone wrong. When the telephone finally rang, Abe’s heart was in his throat. Lunging for the receiver, he snatched it up, saying,”Salem Police Department, Abe Carver speaking.”

John’s voice, pitched low, came over the line. “Abe, it’s John.”

“I was getting worried, partner,” Abe said, sighing in relief. “I wasn’t sure you’d be calling tonight.”

“I had to make sure that Stefano was out of the area,” he replied. Stefano had been up later than usual, sitting on the lanai with a small glass of prosecco. All the while John had watched the time with growing unease. “Is there a plan? Marlena is still showing signs of morning sickness, and Stefano is growing concerned about her prolonged illness. She told Stefano that her living situation is stressful, but he is insisting she have Rolf look her over tomorrow. I would like to get her out of here as soon as possible.”

“Just her? Or you too?” Abe asked him.

John paused. Did he want to go? He did, but Stefano needed to be taken care of. “I’m not sure. Stefano needs to be handled.”

“Handled?” Abe knew what that meant. Quickly, he said, “John, that’s what we’re doing on this end. That’s why the ISA is involved. We don’t need you to handle anything. You can’t do anything brash. Marlena needs you. That’s got to be where your focus is. Once we start to infiltrate the island, she can’t be left alone. It’s simply too dangerous for her to be left by herself at that juncture.”

“She’s tired Abraham. She’s so fucking tired of running from him. Even in this house, he corners her in the library, or the gardens. She can’t keep looking over her shoulder for the rest of her life. If I handled things on this end, she wouldn’t have to. He’d be taken care of, and she’d never have to worry about him again,” John told him.

Abe smiled at John calling him Abraham. The man was more like his old self than he realized. “Please, John, let the ISA handle this. Please. They already have two operatives on the premises for the past two days.”

“What?” John asked, while at the same time remembering the new steward he saw on the service stairs just that morning. Stefano was so security oriented. These people must have been undercover operatives within the DiMera organization for quite awhile. “I need a timeframe.”

“The raid starts at sundown tomorrow. We’ve got everything covered on our end. I need you to focus on Marlena, and nothing else.” He glanced at Shane and Bo, saying, “You need to get Marlena to a safe, neutral location. Can you think of a place?”

John pictured the attic. He could get her there through the secret passage, and then focus on protecting her. “Yes.”

Abe waited, and realized John wasn’t going to tell him where it was, “John, I’m going to need to know where you are when everything is said and done.” John remained silent, causing Abe to say, “Look, partner, I know you don’t know me. Hell, you have no reason to trust me, but Marlena had you contact me for a reason, and you have to trust that. Once it’s safe, how do we find you?”

“The attic of the main house,” John said. “I’ll have her there.”

Abe sighed in relief. “Okay, that’s good. Does the compound have secret passageways throughout?” He assumed it did, but he wanted to verify.

John rubbed his free hand over his face. The lack of control he had in the situation was getting to him. “All of Stefano’s properties do. He also has video cameras in all of the common areas, and certain living quarters.”

“Do Marlena’s quarters have cameras?” Abe asked.

“Yes, but I can put the feed on a loop. Footage of her sleeping or pacing,” he said. “I’ve done it before. Stefano rarely goes in the room with the monitors, and Bart… Bart isn’t as present as he should be on a good day.”

“Okay, Shane is here from the ISA, and he needs to brief you on what we’ve learned about you and Gina,” Abe said.

Gina? Why were they discussing her? She was dead. Gone. And then he remembered, there was a woman who looked like her. A woman who’d escaped from Stefano. “Fine, but make it quick. I can’t stay on the line.”

John hadn’t been expecting the English accent. He’d been expecting a midwestern one. Like Marlena’s. Like Abe’s. “John, it’s Shane. I’m going to say this as fast as possible, because I know you can’t stay on the telephone. Hope Brady was with Stefano for four years. Stefano was controlling her using a mind mapping technology. While she was with him she believed she was Gina Von Amberg—”

“Gina’s gone,” John said.

“I understand that, but Hope looks identical to Gina. She was carrying out art heists, as well as painting counterfeits the majority of the time she was with Stefano. She was also posing as Gina in Europe during that time,” Shane told him. 

“The Cézanne?” John asked. He had considered that the woman Marlena called Hope might have painted it, because while it was nearly identical to a Cézanne, he could tell it wasn’t one of Gina’s.

“Exactly,” Shane said. “We know that you carried out the last heist. There will be no criminal charges. Interpol does not want you John. They understand the situation. They want Stefano. They want the stolen paintings back.”

He’d done that job to keep Marlena safe. One last job Stefano had told him. He was hesitant to believe that he would come out of this with no criminal charges. “You’re sure?”

Shane was quick to say, “Positive.”

Seeing Hope would be difficult if she looked like Gina. It would bring up memories and emotions that were best left in the past. “Does she still believe she’s Gina?” he wanted to know. “Because if she does, it could be… problematic.”

“No, the microchip was removed. I need you to know, John, that you also have a microchip wired into your nervous system. It’s in your neck,” Shane said. “It’s preventing and blocking–”

” –that’s how he does it? That’s why I have huge chunks of memory missing? Why I can’t remember anything before the age of twenty… why I can’t remember Marlena?” He felt himself getting angry. Stefano had lied to him for how long?

“Yes. We removed Hope’s, and she remembers everything. All of her memories, and all of Gina’s memories,” Shane said. “We also… well, there was another mercenary who came to us. He has his memories back as well.”

He wanted his memories back. He wanted to know who he was. Where he came from. “Will that happen for me?”

Shane was silent for a few seconds, before he said, “Possibly. We don’t know for sure. We hope so, because Hope’s testimony was vital. So was Austin’s. Their cooperation with the ISA and Interpol is why they’re still free.”

John heard a thump and a curse in the kitchen, and glanced over his shoulder to see the faint glow of light down the hallway. Damned Bart. Quickly he told Shane, “I’ve got to go. Tomorrow at sundown, you know where we’ll be.”

Shane stared at the telephone in surprise, “He hung up.”

Abe started laughing, “He’s not one for the finer points of socialization, is he?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sami was woken early the next morning to find Brady tugging on her braid, saying, “Sissy. Sissy.”

Groaning, she rolled to face him. She frowned at him. Why was he so alert? “Brady, it’s Sami. My name is Sami.”

He climbed onto the bed beside her, touching his hand on her cheek, and said, “You tell me a story?”

She reached for him, feeling love for him that she never thought she’d feel. She pulled him towards her, and wrapped the small boy in her arms, saying, “What kind of story do you want? An adventure? A jungle story? Baseball?”

“I don’t care,” Brady said with a small lisp, followed immediately by a huge yawn. “Just a story.”

He smelled like the baby soap Hope used on him at bathtime. “You know, Brady, Mama used to tell me stories when I was small.”

He snuggled into her. “She did. What kine? You tell me?”

Sami remembered cuddling with her mother and Eric, shortly after Marlena’s return, and her telling them a story to distract them from a summer thunderstorm. She understood the story now. At the time, it had been nothing more than a story. “Okay, let me see if I remember it… Once upon a time, there was a damsel in distress, that’s a lady who’s in trouble, and she was being held far away, against her will. She was very unhappy, because she missed her knight in shining armor, and her two beautiful children. One day, she escaped, and she made her way home to the people that she loved. Then her knight in shining armor went after the evil man that held her captive, and then the knight… and the lady, and their two beautiful children lived happily ever after…” That was all her mom had wanted. Maybe she could still have that.

Brady whispered, “Mama said that story to Sissy?”

Feeling tears sting her eyes, Sami whispered, “She did.”

” Mama come home soon? Mama and Daddy come home to Brady, Belle, and Sissy. Right?” Brady asked her.

“Yes, Brady. Mama’s going to come home,” Sami said softly against the side of his head. “Now snuggle in with me, and go back to sleep. It’s not even 6:00 in the morning.”

His small little voice mumbled, “O’tay.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John had just finished hiding two handguns in the attic, when he heard Marlena’s soft footsteps behind him, “It’s late, baby. You should be asleep.”

He’d called her baby, and she couldn’t help smiling shyly. “I should be, but I’m not. What are you doing?”

“I hid a couple handguns. One behind that crate,” he said pointing to the corner. “And the other under the pillows. After talking to Abe and Shane this evening… I just felt like I should.”

She hated guns. Ever since she’d shot Stefano all those years ago, she’d sworn them off. Yet it seemed at every turn in her life they seemed necessary. “Guns? Do we– do we really need them?”

“Your friends… they don’t want me involved in the mission at all. My sole job is to be up here, with you, and keep you safe.” He saw her look down at her feet. Stepping closer, he tipped her face up to his. She was beautiful in the moonlight. Softly, he said, “Yes, Marlena, the weapons are necessary. I will kill anyone who tries to get to you.”

Marlena saw the determination in his eyes. He was serious. He would kill for her. He would likely die for her if he had to. When he was fully self-aware, she’d never doubted that he would die for her. In this new state, she’d questioned it. They were still learning about each other. Stepping closer, so close that their chests brushed, she laid her palm against him, and whispered, “Okay. Are you going to tell me this plan of theirs?”

He was frustrated. “I don’t know the plan. Abraham told me that at sundown I needed to bring you here, and wait. That’s what I’m going to do. If my sole responsibility is to keep you safe, I will.”

Slightly confused, she asked, “That’s all he said?”

“Shane said some things,” he said vaguely. Marlena’s mind was turning. He could see it.

“What kind of things?” she asked. She knew he was being intentionally vague.

He sighed, knowing, somehow, that she wouldn’t stop asking until he told her. “Hope apparently thought she was Gina for the four years she was with Stefano. She painted counterfeits for Stefano, and committed art heists alone. I suspected as much on my last job.”

“Hope? Hope Brady? She can’t even draw a straight line,” Marlena said.

John felt bitterness when he thought about Hope. It was more than what Stefano had done to her. She possessed Gina’s memories. Stolen memories that were very private. He pushed it away, and shrugged, “Well, now she can paint counterfeit masterpieces.”

Marlena whispered, “How?”

“Stefano had a microchip implanted into her nervous system. Apparently in another mercenary as well. I can’t even imagine how many others he’s done this to. He used it to control her. Shane believes that I have one too. It’s why I’m missing blocks of time. It’s why my earliest memory is at the age of twenty, with a ten-year-old Kristen following me around like an annoying leech,” John said with derision. “It’s why I’ve forgotten my life with you. He and Rolf simply edited you out.”

Marlena touched his jaw gently. “I guess I could see why the idea of a relationship with Kristen might turn your stomach… the microchip, they can remove it?”

“They’ve removed two so far, and the outcomes seemed favorable.” He slid his arms around her waist, and he briefly buried his face in her hair before lifting his head to stare down at her. “Tomorrow, Marlena, I need you to be up here at sundown. I’ll have the video feed on a loop, and I’ll be here as soon as I can. I’ll do everything in my power to meet you here. If I don’t. If, G-d forbid, something happens… do you know how to use a gun?”

Marlena remembered being in the eaves of the opera house. The weight of the gun in her hand. The feeling of flipping the safety off. “I do. I… I shot Stefano once.”

John’s face took on a curious look. “You did? When?”

“About nine years ago…” she glanced down. “I’m not proud of it.”

John stared at her in awe. That was her? She’d been the one to shoot Stefano? He’d treated Stefano for that gunshot wound. He’d been in Chicago, with Gina. They had just finished another heist. He remembered that he couldn’t believe that someone had gotten close enough to shoot Stefano, and when he’d asked him what had happened, Stefano had responded with, “I underestimated someone.“

“I treated his wound… in Chicago,” John whispered. “I remember that.”

“You did? We thought he was dead… for years. I even went on trial for his murder,” she said.

He asked her, “Why? Why did you shoot him?”

“I was desperate. Grieving. Scared. I wanted to stop him… from hurting other people, from destroying families. I wanted him to die, because he’d taken Roman from me. He’d killed Roman,” she said softly. “He’d killed my children’s father.”

A flash of a man in a hospital bed, hooked up to monitors, came to him quickly. “I saw Roman once,” he told her, sitting down heavily near the wall.

“What?” she asked in surprise.

“He was in a coma. Completely unconscious. I didn’t know his name, but I remember his face. I can match it with memories I have now. Rolf had him hooked up to life support machines. He had a cap on his head with sensors that plugged into a computer,” John paused for a moment, and then the realization hit him. Mind mapping. “That’s when they did it. That’s when they were mapping his memories… to use them on me.”

Marlena sank down to the the floor beside him. “When I met you, you knew very little. Even once we all assumed you were Roman, you still only ever remembered a small amount of information.”

“That was 1985. You said Hope was assumed dead in 1991. That means her procedure was done six years later,” he said.

Marlena’s voice was soft when she murmured, “I’m sure that Stefano had almost perfected the system by then…”

“Maybe… maybe not. It’s just, I thought – I thought that man died,” John told her. He clearly remembered ordering two lower level security staff to dig a grave and bury that body. That means Roman, the one he recalled, was dead. He had been for years.

“Died? No. That can’t be. He returned in 1991. Stefano had kept him captive in San Cristobal for seven years.” She remembered Roman finding her in the jungle. His insistence that John was the enemy.

John’s gaze was intent as he told her, “But that doesn’t fit, Marlena. Stefano doesn’t do that type of thing. I know him, and keeping someone for seven years… never doing anything with them. That would be a waste of resources, and Stefano doesn’t waste resources. He took Hope, right? But he used her for something. He had a purpose for her. Are you sure that the man who came back in 1991 is Roman?”

Marlena gasped, looking over at John. She thought of all the times Roman had been rough with her when he was angry. The anger, the verbal rants, the criticism that came from him on a near constant basis. The way he pushed his family away. All of it completely out of character. All of it was behavior that the Roman of 1984 would never have done; however, given his experiences with Stefano his family assumed that the Roman who returned in 1991 would do those things. They thought it was all a trauma response, but what if it wasn’t?

John leaned towards her, and asked her again, “Are you sure that the man in Salem is Roman?”

“No. No, I’m not,” she whispered.

Chapter 21 – Showdown in the Attic

The house was quiet. Bo and Hope had left the night before with Abe, Shane, Austin, and a host of ISA agents. Sami, Brady, and Belle had been moved back to Shawn and Caroline’s for the time being. Sami had never felt more alone in her life. She’d begged Austin not to go. He wanted a quiet life. He didn’t want any of this, and yet he’d chosen to go. He told her he needed closure, and she figured this was how he would get it. Ending Stefano’s reign of terror, being a part of that, Austin needed something to feel proud of. 

She needed closure too. She needed to have her mother and John back in her life. She needed to apologize. For not understanding. For hurting them, when really she was the one who was hurting. The door to her bedroom creaked, and she looked over to see Brady sneaking in. He was impossible, and she loved him for it. “Brady, what are you doing out of bed?”

“I miss my daddy,” he said. “I want mama.”

She held her arms out, and then when he ran to her, she lifted him into her bed. “You want to sleep with me tonight?” She  didn’t know why she was inviting him. He’d fall asleep and then turn sideways, kicking her all night. 

He nodded his head, and squirmed underneath her blankets, asking, “You miss daddy?”

Her chest ached a little as she looked down into his brown eyes. Softly she said, “Yeah. I miss daddy.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John was scrambling to get back to the house. The ISA assault on the compound had started before sundown. He was too far from the house when he’d heard the first shots ring out from the beach. He’d been doing his scheduled rounds to check the compound’s security system. Panic had set in. Did she hear the shots? Did she go to the attic? He hadn’t been able to set the video feed on a loop yet! 

He was furious, and wanted to shoot someone. Anyone. The first person who came to mind was Shane. He sounded like an uppity Brit. His heart was racing, and he’d never handled it well when things went awry. All he knew was that Marlena was alone, and scared, and that broke his heart. He never wanted her to feel like she couldn’t depend on him. 

“Fucking hell!” he roared, racing as fast as he could through the edge of the forest. Getting back to the house took longer than it should have because he had to dodge around skirmishes along the way. There were so many people. “How many people did they bring?” he muttered, backtracking again. He would have to take the tunnels underneath the house. 

Skirting around a boulder, he flipped the switch that opened the entryway to the tunnel. It merged into several other tunnels. It had been years since he’d been down there, and he closed his eyes momentarily so he could recall which way to go. He couldn’t fuck this up, but he kept picturing Marlena alone. Crying. Afraid. Opening his eyes, he took off at a sprint.

He took a sharp left, and noticed another entryway was hanging open. Who was in there? Friend or foe? He pulled his weapon from his waistband, and flipped the safety. He’d shoot first, and ask questions later. His heart beat out her name… Marlena, Marlena, Marlena. He would lose his mind if he lost her. 

Halfway down the third tunnel John came face to face with four armed individuals. He aimed his gun, holding steady as he stared at them each one by one. Dark hair and a beard. Brown skin, and deep brown eyes. Curly black hair. If he was going to die, this wasn’t the way he imagined going. Then his eyes landed on a familiar face. His gut wrenched, and even though he knew it wasn’t true, he whispered, “Gina?”

“Fuck! Shane, didn’t you tell him?” the man with brown hair and a beard shouted.

“Of course, I told him, Bo! You were in the room!” Shane replied. John took a deep breath. Bo and Shane. The other man must be Abe, and the woman… she was Hope.

Hope stared at him as if she were fighting with her own mind. She glanced at Bo, saying, “He’s just surprised. That’s all.”

John’s voice was soft when he said, “You look just like her… They said you did, but I–I didn’t… ” Shaking his head quickly, he said, “I have to go. Now.” 

He started to go around them, when Abe grabbed his arm. “Where is Stefano?”

John looked at the man for a moment. He knew him. More than just an association. He recognized that face. “I don’t know! You guys started early. You started too fucking early!” He shook Abe’s hand off. “I have to go!”

Abe watched John sprint down the tunnel, which he knew headed to the house. He smiled to himself, happy to note that recognition had flashed across John’s face. “John’s going after Marlena,” he said, pointing in the direction the other man had run. “The house is that way, and I’ll bet Stefano won’t leave without her either.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stefano unlocked the door to Marlena’s room and was furious when he found it empty. He was determined that he wouldn’t leave the compound without her, yet he knew that there were a million places to hide in the house. He’d already lost Gina, he had no knowledge of where Celeste was, Käwika and Izan had been taken by the ISA, and Bart was worthless. Where was John? 

Forcing himself to calm down and think, he stood in the middle of the empty bedroom, and wracked his brain trying to think of where she could be. Where would she hide? Where was the closest place for her to hide? Then he realized that there was a hidden panel in her wall. Would she know about that? He couldn’t be sure, but Marlena was intelligent, and she knew about his propensity for hidden rooms and passageways. She’d commented on it once at Maison Blanche. But he couldn’t assume that she did. He turned quickly, leaving her room, and took the entrance at the end of the hall. She would be expecting him to come out of the secret entrance. With a smile that was anything but friendly, Stefano went down the service hall, and reached up into the wall sconce. He would find her in the attic.

Marlena was petrified. Her body was shaking as she huddled in the corner of the attic, the gun grasped tightly in her small hand. Everything had happened so fast. Before sunset, she’d heard the first shots, and she made her way to the attack alone. She was scared for herself and the baby, but she was mostly afraid for John. Where was he? She knew he’d been caught off guard. 

“John should have been here by now,” she whispered to herself. The sun had just dipped below the horizon, and she didn’t think she’d be able to protect herself in the dark. “Where is he? Where is he? Where is he?” The sounds of shouting and gunfire had made their way closer to the house, causing her already frayed nerves to break. She choked back a sob. “I need him. Oh, G-d, I need him,” she prayed softly. “Please.”

She heard the door to the attic creak open, and knew immediately that it wasn’t John. John had already told her that he wouldn’t enter that way. He was supposed to come in through the secret panel in the wall, directly beside her. She cowered closer into the corner. The gun shook in her hand, but she couldn’t lose her focus. She’d shot Stefano before, she could do it again, but could she shoot someone else? Would she be able to? “Fuck, fuck, fuck… I can do this. For me. For John. For this baby… I can fucking do this… “

Heavy footsteps moved closer, towards the center of the attic. It wasn’t John, she knew that. It wasn’t until she heard his voice that she knew who it was. “Marlena, you cannot hide from me forever.” She stayed silent, barely breathing for fear that he might hear her. She flipped the switch on the safety, hearing the soft click like a cannon boom in the silent attic. “You might as well come out, my darling. There is no one here to help you. We are leaving,” Stefano said, stepping closer to where she was hiding. “It seems we have uninvited guests. Come out, my queen, it is only a matter of time before I find you.”

Stefano stepped closer to the corner where he knew she was hiding in the shadows. He heard a faint sound, a shuffle, as if she was trying to make herself smaller, and push herself deeper into the corner. He felt a thrill roll through his body at the idea of her fear. He enjoyed it, especially knowing that her attempt to hide from him was futile. 

“We are alone, Marlena. There is no one here to help you. No one, and I can promise you… if you do not cooperate, I will not hesitate to kill John. I know you think you love him, but I will kill him while you watch… and enjoy it,” he said, slowly stepping closer to where he knew she was. “His blood will be on your hands.”

Marlena’s heart was breaking. Her soul was shattering. She couldn’t take it anymore. The running from Stefano. The constant threat that at any moment John, or someone she loved would fall victim to him. It was taking a toll, and she was no longer willing to pay the price. She rose slowly from where she was hiding, stepping forward with the gun aimed at his chest. “I’m done, Stefano. I’m done with your games. Even if I die right now… I’ll die knowing that I faced you,” she said barely above a whisper.

Stefano was surprised to see her with a gun. Where had she gotten that? He immediately blamed Bart. Bart was a fool, and Stefano found himself unarmed. It made the situation more dangerous than he had anticipated. He had expected a scared, frail Marlena. What he faced was the woman who’d shot him in the eaves of the Salem Opera House. “Where did you get the gun, Marlena?”

“Maybe, you shouldn’t give guests with lock picking skills the freedom to roam your house,” she said sarcastically, lying easily about how she had the gun in her possession, and never wavering with its aim at his chest. She knew that Stefano had, again, underestimated her.

“Ah, yes. And where, pray tell, did you learn these skills?” he asked her

“As if you need to ask me that,” she said, stepping closer to him. “But, I’ll tell you anyway. My husband taught me. I’m a better shot than I used to be too,” she said, cocking the gun. She was bluffing, but it was the only way to keep herself from collapsing. False bravado would work. She would allow herself to cry later. “I’m a very good shot.”

John heard the conversation between Marlena and Stefano when he stepped inside the hidden panel of the wall in her bedroom. He’d been relieved at first thinking she’d hidden herself, but Stefano’s deep voice proved otherwise. Creeping slowly up the stairs, he listened closely. She hadn’t given him up. She’d lied about where she’d gotten the gun. John could make this scenario work to his advantage. He could keep Stefano guessing. He could end it all right there. Slowly, he started to slide the panel open.

Stefano was becoming more fearful that his life might actually end, when he and Marlena heard the soft scraping of the wall panel behind her. Stefano actually sighed in relief. What he didn’t know was that Marlena sighed in relief as well. 

John stepped through the opening in the wall, watching Stefano and Marlena carefully. He had to keep Stefano believing that he was on his side.

“John, get the gun from her before she kills me,” Stefano ordered. He watched with satisfaction when John turned, quickly disarming Marlena. She fell to the floor with a cry of defeat, as Stefano continued to stand there, smugly. “We need to go, John. We need to go quickly. Grab her.” Looking at Marlena, he told her, “I will deal with you and your treachery later.”

“Treachery?” she screamed. “Treachery? I have no loyalty to you! You have tried to destroy my life at every turn! You took Roman away from me! You took John away from me! I would sooner kill you in your sleep than ever swear fealty to you!”

“Take her!” Stefano roared. “We do not have time for this!” He turned to leave, but heard nothing but silence. When he looked back, he saw that John hadn’t moved. “Now, soldier Black!”

“You deserve to die, you know,” John said in a low and lethal tone.

Stefano stared at him, unsure of himself. “John, what are you on about? We need to leave… now.”

John stepped towards him, dropping the weapon he’d taken from Marlena onto the wooden floor. He lifted his own weapon aiming it at Stefano. “But I won’t let your death be on Doc’s hands. I won’t let your blood be on her.”

A dawning realization came over Stefano, as he whispered, “Doc?”

“Nickname’s are a funny thing aren’t they?” John said with a sly smirk. “Highly personal things. Sometimes intimate.”

Marlena scrambled a few feet across the floor towards John, and reached for his leg, afraid of what was about to happen. Her voice was pleading, “John don’t.”

“You see, I’m a mixture of three men,” John continued. “There’s the man you trained me to be… a mercenary, a soldier, a cold blooded killer, and then there’s the man I became, a father, a husband, a cop, and then there’s the man I woke up as almost three months ago.”

“You belong to me!” Stefano said loudly. “I made you! I mentored you! You would be nothing without me!”

“I belong to myself!” John roared back at him. “No one owns me! No one controls me! Least of all you!”

Again Marlena reached for John from her place on the floor. She was scared to take her eyes off of Stefano, for fear of what he might do, but she also knew that John… the John she loved… wasn’t fully himself right now. Then there was the John she was falling in love with, hour by hour, day by day. Softly, she begged, “John, don’t do this… “

He went on as if he hadn’t heard her. “For years you dictated what I was. Who I was. I killed on your orders. I stole on your orders, and when I fell in love… you ripped me from her arms, and you watched her die a slow death from grief. You gave me a new life, and a new family, and when I loved them… when I loved them so much I couldn’t imagine my life without them… you took that away too!” John said.

“You are given what I choose to give you! I created you! This is your punishment,” Stefano told him, his eyes dilated with barely suppressed rage.

John’s eyes narrowed. “Punishment for what?”

“Punishment for going against me! Punishment for getting involved in affairs that were never yours to meddle in!” Stefano was stalling for time. John knew he was stalling for time. He was hoping that one of his men might still come to find him, and somehow end this standoff, but John knew… no one was coming. “You were young. A priest in training who could not mind his own business. One of the tenets of priesthood is that the confessional is sacred! Sacred! And yet you would attempt to break that covenant!”

A memory came to John like a flash. A memory of Rachel Blake crying over his hands, on her knees… she was sobbing, begging him for help. But it was all a lie. He’d never been a priest at all. Stefano had used him to manipulate Rachel. John looked at Stefano, and said very softly, almost deadly, “The confessional isn’t sacred if you’re not a priest.”

Stefano’s eyes widened in shock with the realization that John was not just remembering his time with Marlena, but also his time before Marlena. John was remembering his time with Gina. He was recalling everything.

John stepped just out of Marlena’s reach, looking Stefano in the eyes, and he said, “I am not a priest. I never made it that far, did I? You stole me before I finished being ordained! I am not Roman Brady. I’m not even John Black… that’s just a moniker you gave me and twenty other mercenaries whose lives you destroyed! I won’t kill you, but I’ll make damned sure, you won’t be hurting the people I love again.” John tipped the gun downwards, shooting twice in quick succession, and watching without emotion as Stefano DiMira crumpled to the floor shrieking in agony.

Marlena watched in slow motion as John shot Stefano once in each of his knees, shattering the bone, and crippling him for life. She didn’t feel anything in her, except relief. She felt immense relief. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she tipped forward onto her knees, and started sobbing. Stefano continued screams filled the room. She gasped for air as John lifted her into his arms, intending to take her from the attic, and remove her from the horror of that room, leaving Stefano DiMera behind. 

Just as he lifted her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, Bo, Abe, Shane, and Hope came bounding through the door to the attic. They were followed by another young man she recognized from Maison Blanche, but his eyes were different. They held more emotion. He nodded his head at her once in acknowledgement.

John looked at the five of them calmly, almost without emotion, and he said, “He won’t be walking again. I should have killed him.”

Bo looked down at Stefano, whose screams had become the whimpers of an injured animal. “Why didn’t you?”

John was silent for a moment, then finally he whispered, “I don’t want Marlena to think of me like that. I don’t want her to see me that way.”

Chapter 22 – Falling in Love Again

Marlena’s eyes fluttered open the following morning. She scanned the room, taking in the dark furnishings and the wine colored decor. She was still on the compound, but she wasn’t in her room. The room was unfamiliar, but it smelled of John. The new version of John. Spicy musk filled her senses, but she didn’t find it unappealing. She rolled over, burying her face in a pillow, while inhaling the scent with a smile. She found it warm, inviting, comforting. She’d fallen in love with him again. Perhaps she would fall in love with every version of John, in every timeline.

The sound of a shower running let her know that he was nearby, and she found herself thinking over the chaos of the night before. John shooting Stefano, and Stefano’s cries of agony. She pictured the shock on their friends’ faces as they’d stumbled upon the scene. Marlena had been exhausted, physically and emotionally. She’d been too exhausted to speak to them, or even process what had happened. She remembered burying her face in John’s neck, and crying softly as he’d carried her from the attic and down to his bedroom. She took her strength from him, and was grateful to have him in her life, in whatever capacity she could. She recalled him carrying her slowly down the stairs, and she must have fallen asleep almost immediately. She had only the vaguest recollection of his whispered words, telling her to sleep, and him placing soft kisses across her brow.

John leaned, with his hands against the marble shower wall, breathing deeply.  A steady stream of hot water beat upon his neck. He’d woken up to find Marlena wrapped around him, their legs tangled, and her warm breath permeating the cotton t-shirt he wore. His feelings for the woman sleeping in his bed were becoming more and more complicated. He felt like he was falling in love with her, but his memories of their life before were complicating things. How many of those were his, and how many of them belonged to Roman Brady? He wasn’t sure whether his feelings for her were how he currently felt, how he used to feel, or how Roman felt. It was possible that it was a conglomerate of them all. Rolling his head back and forth, attempting to release some of the tension he held there, he saw in his mind a pier… and fog. Out of nowhere he was inundated with a memory so vivid, he forgot time and place.

“Roman!” A soft, feminine voice called out. He froze in place for a moment, convinced he hadn’t heard it. Turning slowly toward her, he tried to deny what he’d heard. Her voice. A voice he’d heard a million times in his dreams. He’d never forget, although he’d thought he had… until right then. He stared into the dense fog, trying to make out who it was. His mind screamed Marlena, but how? Standing still, he was afraid to move, afraid to hope it was her, because he knew it couldn’t be, but yet his heart might break again if it wasn’t. She stepped out of the haze, like a vision. An improbable vision. An impossible vision. John stepped closer. The light from the streetlamp glimmered off of her blonde hair, and as she approached him, the tears streaming down her face shimmered on her cheeks. Still he stood there, frozen in shock and fear that he was imagining everything. He had to be imagining it all.

But she spoke again. Her voice, as clear as day, “It’s Marlena.” Distinct. So fucking distinct, with the sound of a sob in her voice, indicating that she was as overwhelmed as he was.

He studied her from several feet away. Fear and longing racing through his body. Tears coursed over his face. He wanted to run to her, grab her, and hold her body against him. He stepped closer, saying in a whisper, “No…”

Closer. Closer. He stood there awestruck, unable to do anything but hope, and pray, that seeing her was not a figment of his imagination. Hope that the woman standing before him was the same woman he had mourned for years. When she finally stood in front of him, she stared up into his eyes and whispered, “Yes…”

He tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come to him. Tremors wracked his body, while he slowly raised his fingers to touch her, because touching her was the only way he could assure himself that she was real. That he wasn’t imagining it. When his skin brushed over hers, she gasped out another sob, and John cried out, “Doc! It’s you! Oh, my G-d! Doc, it’s you!”

Marlena rushed into his arms, sobbing as she clung to him. The feel of her slight frame, the scent of her hair and her skin, all enveloped him, creating sensory overload. He could barely breathe. He gripped her so tightly, afraid that if he let her go, the world around them would be gone. That moment with her might disappear. 

Realizing he was gasping for air, he tried to take a deep breath, but he couldn’t. His heart raced. His blood thundered in his ears. “Oh, my G-d! Oh, my G-d!” He gripped her head in his hands, holding her against him, and he stared at the stands of her blonde hair as he threaded his fingers through it, praying that the moment was real.

But it couldn’t be. It couldn’t, and yet, as he looked down into her hazel eyes, his lips found hers on their own. That was the moment he knew it wasn’t a dream. Licking and biting his way across her mouth, the taste of her brought him home to something he’d lost so long ago. In between soft kisses, he moaned and cried softly, “Doc. Doc. My Doc…”

John shuddered in the shower as the water began to turn cold, but he still stared at the marble underneath his palms in a state of disbelief. A memory, full complete, with emotions… exactly the way Marlena had described it, and yet, so much more. The intensity of it left him shaking. He realized as he wiped his face that he was crying, and then he choked on a sob, but he couldn’t hold it back. He sank to his knees while rapidly cooling water beat against his overly sensitive skin.

The water was turned off, and when he looked up, he saw Marlena standing there. He hadn’t heard her open the shower door, but there she was with him, couched on the floor. “You don’t have to go through this alone,” she whispered. “Yesterday was hard for both of us.”

“I remembered the pier,” he said. “Just the way you told it to me, but with so many overwhelming emotions that I’m–I’m having a hard time with them. It’s so confusing.”

“Come,” she said softly. “Let’s get you out of the shower, and dry you off.”

He stood there like a child, watching every move she made as she walked around his nude body rubbing the thick towel over his chilled skin. He’d never been so vulnerable, not emotionally. Perhaps he had and he simply didn’t remember it. Once she’d finished, he wrapped the towel around his waist.

Marlena looked up at him with a shy smile. “I, um, I have to use the restroom.”

John walked towards the bathroom door, telling her, “There’s a toothbrush for you beside the sink. I wanted to make sure you would have one this morning.”

He waited for her. He couldn’t say why, he felt like a child, but he found himself standing outside of the bathroom door, waiting for her to exit. He needed her near him. He needed to see her, touch her, breathe in her scent. He was floating, weightless with no tether, and he needed her. When she opened the door, John realized he was blocking her path. He attempted to step out of her way, but Marlena still managed to trip over him, and fall into his chest. His arms wrapped around her, feeling the heat of her body through the t-shirt she was wearing.

Looking up at him, she got lost for a moment, before saying, “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t know what made him do it. Maybe it was the memory of their pier reunion so fresh in his mind. Maybe it was his mixed up, convoluted emotions, causing him to reach for her. Whatever it was, it was out of his control. His arm wound its way around her hips, and pulled her closer, while his hand swept a piece of hair back off of her face. “You’re a beautiful woman, Marlena,” he whispered in a husky voice.

Her heart skipped. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Without further thought, he was kissing her. Kissing her like it was their first kiss, their last kiss, every kiss they’d ever had, in one perfect moment. He couldn’t get enough of her perfect mouth, those delectable lips. His tongue swept over her soft skin in a desperate attempt to memorize the taste of her. Every time he had kissed her, or immersed himself in her scent, he’d felt memories tugging at his mind… he wanted that one. The one that would change everything. The one that would trigger an avalanche. Roughly, with a growl low in his throat, he rolled her body. Marlena’s spine hit the wall beside the bathroom with a thump, and she stared up at him with arousal blown eyes as she tried to catch her breath. 

“I can’t figure it out, woman. You drive me crazy… so fucking crazy… ” he ground out. Leaning his forehead on hers, and breathing harshly, he whispered, “But why, Doc? Why?”

Doc. She smiled up at him, stroking her fingers across his tortured face. “Because you love me. You know you do, John. Your mind is reaching for me… because you love me, and a love like ours… that’s forever, darling,” she said softly. “It’s forever. No matter what version of you… your heart remembers me. Always.”

He groaned, rolling his head against hers, while falling into her eyes, “I think I do… “

Marlena smiled, “Because you promised me, John. You promised me… we can work on the rest. We can work on you regaining your memory, as long as we know that we have each other.”

One hand moved up along the curve of her hip, while he planted the other over her shoulder. Mussed hair, swollen kissed lips, and hazel eyes that begged for more stared up at him. She had slept in one of his old shirts, and his fingers caught the hem, pulling it higher as they skimmed over her thigh. “Your skin… Marlena, your skin is so soft,” he whispered. She wasn’t stopping him. Whatever was happening between them, she wanted it as much as he did. He groaned, and his hands gripped her hips, while his finger slowly moved under the waistband of her panties. “I want you so bad.”

Did she want him? Her body said she did. Her mind tried to fight it. He didn’t know their love. Not the way she did, but what she saw in his eyes was pure. He may not fully remember their life together, or their love, but she wanted him as much as he wanted her. She needed him. She needed that connection with him on a spiritual level. Slowly, she tucked her fingers under the edge of the towel at John’s waist, and she let it fall to the floor. “I want you too, Sailor.”

So fucking familiar, and so foreign at the same time. “Sailor? I feel like you’ve called me that a hundred times before.”

“Maybe,” she said with a smirk as her hands threaded themselves though the hair on his chest. She pulled at it causing a thrill of arousal filled pain to shoot up his spine. He growled.

The damp towel was kicked away by his feet, and his cock lengthened against her abdomen. He needed to feel her skin against him. John kissed her mouth softly, licking across her pillowy soft lips, moaning, “I need you, Doc. I need you so bad.”

“I’m yours, John. I have always been yours,” she whispered.

John got very quiet for a moment, and Marlena recognized the look on his face. That faraway, distant look he got when he was remembering something.

“It’s just… you’re so much a part of my life,” she said through her tears. “I don’t know what I… I don’t know what I would do… if you weren’t.”

John watched as she struggled to hold herself together, taking gasping breaths and running her fingers over her face. She pushed her hair back, and stared up at him with the most profound sadness. “Doc,” he said softly. “Hey, come on… don’t be unhappy. It’s the last thing I want—”

“—this doesn’t make you unhappy at all?” she yelled in a panic.

He couldn’t take it anymore. The idea of losing her, potentially forever… how was he going to cope with that? He couldn’t allow her to continue to think that he was okay, because he wasn’t. He was anything but okay. 

“I’m past that, Doc!” he roared helplessly. “I’m free falling! With just the idea that I am never going to see you again. I’m never going to hear you laugh, I’m never going to smell your perfume, and I’m never going to touch you.”

“Oh, G-d!” she cried out, and it broke him. 

Without thought, without consideration for the fall out, he placed his hands in her hair, and pulled her lips to his. She tasted salty tears, and desperation, and he knew there was no going back. Their bodies trembled, and his hands shook where he held her face to his. She was his. She would always be his, no matter what.

John came back to himself slowly, and found Marlena’s incredible hazel eyes looking at him with concern. His hands still gripped her hips, and her hands still rested on his chest. John whispered to her, “I love you.”

“I know,” she whispered back.

Barely audible, he told her, “I remembered… that night on the plane. I was so fucking scared to lose you… the pain was incredible. It was consuming, Doc.”

“I remember. We’ve had moments, John, so many amazing moments, but now I want more than that. I want more than mere moments with you, I want a lifetime,” she murmured, rubbing her cheek on his chest. “I want the rest of our lives.”

There was nothing more to be said. He’d give her a lifetime. He’d give her every lifetime they ever had in every timeline. John gently lifted her in his arms, and started walking towards the bed. His lips trailed up her neck. He licked along the shell of her ear, and he said softly, “I want a lifetime with you… I–I need you… so bad, I fucking need you.”

“Make love to me… please,” Marlena whispered.

As he placed her on his bed, his lips found her neck sucking gently along the slope towards her shoulder where he bit at her skin softly. His hands pushed the shirt up over her hips, and Marlena lifted her arms as he pulled it over her head. Soft morning sunlight streamed into the room, giving her heated skin a tinge of rose. Those wide hazel eyes stared up at him with so much trust and longing. 

“You’re fucking gorgeous, lady,” he told her before his head dipped to take her nipple into his mouth. He sucked and laved over her gently perfumed skin, and Marlena arched into him whimpering for more. “You’re amazing…” he murmured, biting at her sensitive skin.

“Oh,” she cried. “I’ve missed you so. I’ve…John, oh, G-d! John…” Her hips bucked against his, and he nearly lost himself in the soft glide of her cotton panties against his cock..

His hands trembled as he cupped her face. “Are you sure you want to do this? I don’t want you to regret it.”

“No regrets. Never with you,” she said, her voice filled with desire. “Never with you.”

Reaching for the edge of her panties, his eyes locked with hers while he slid them down her legs. There was no doubt in her eyes. She wanted it as much as he did. He watched the cotton slide down her long legs, and couldn’t hold back the groan the rumbled in his chest as she kicked them to the side. Her legs fell open, and he slid the length of his cock along her center, making them both moan deeply. Slick. Wet. Hot. He would die right then. “You feel so good. So hot, and wet for me… I could just slide right into you, baby.”

“Oh, G-d!” she cried, pulling his mouth back to hers.

That was it. The desperation in her words had him entering her body at an excruciatingly slow pace. Her body stretched around him, the heat was impossible, unbearable, and so fucking unforgettable all at once. He wasn’t going to rush it. He was going to savor it. She arched up, and her breasts tipped towards his mouth. Dipping down, he sucked one into his mouth causing Marlena to whine, and he almost came inside her right then.

He was deep. So deep within her body, he couldn’t possibly go any further, and then he rolled his hips. He ground them together, scraping her clit, and Marlena screamed, “Please, John! Please!”

Slow wasn’t going to happen. Slow could be for later. His rough voice asked her, “You want it hard, Marlena? Because my body is screaming for it.”

She panted loudly, “Yes. Yes…please. I’m so close. I’m already so close.”

Pinning her arms over her head, John sucked on her neck roughly. Those pants, and whimpers. Those words that begged for him were too much. He pulled out to his tip, and then pushed back into her roughly. She scratched at his back, “Oh, G-d! More!”

“I’m not going to last long. I can’t… I won’t last. You feel so fucking amazing, Doc.” Marlena’s fingers found their way to her clit, rubbing over the nub roughly, while John’s cock continued to move within her in a rhythm as old as time. When he demanded, “Pinch your clit, baby. Pinch it hard. I’m so close and I want you with me,” she went over the edge.

He suddenly sat back on his haunches, pulling her body up to straddle him, and as he held her hips, driving into her. He bit at the skin of her breasts, and she sobbed, “I love you… I love you.”

Chapter 23 – Stefano’s Tangled Web Begins to Unravel

Roman sat on the edge of his bed as another headache took hold of him. He’d been getting migraines pretty regularly, along with flashes of memory that made no sense to him. Playing on a beach with two small children with root beer colored eyes, while a woman with dark curly hair, and a beautiful smile looked on. Throwing a tennis ball for a dog that was entirely too excitable. Sitting down to eat dinner with a huge table full of people, and the largest lasagna he’d ever seen. He had no idea what was happening to him, but he felt as if he was losing his hold on reality. He assumed that just as Stefano had stuffed John’s head with his memories, he must have stuffed his with someone else’s as well. There was a period of time after he fell from the cliff that he was in a coma. There was no way of knowing for sure what was done to him. 

His head began to pound even more as he tried to push away the visions as they washed over him. Fighting them was excruciating, and the pain made him moody and difficult. He’d been losing his patience more frequently with his family, and the people at work. At first he’d thought that he wasn’t getting enough sleep, and he was stressed over everything that had happened with Marlena, but now he was getting worried. He was losing control, and having control was the only thing that kept him sane. But as he stared at the hole in the wall next to his bedroom door, he realized he wasn’t doing a very good job.

The telephone rang, and he groaned as his head pounded. Lifting the receiver, he growled, “Hello?”

“Dad?” Sami asked softly. Shit. She sounded afraid of him. He hated himself even more.

“What do you want, Sami?” he snapped..

She paused for a moment, and Roman instantly felt guilty for responding so harshly. “I was, um, I was wondering if you wanted to come grab dinner at the pub? We haven’t spent much time together lately.”

“You know, I’m not feeling very well tonight,” he said, laying down, and throwing an arm over his face. “I think I’m just going to go to bed early.”

“Oh,” she said softly. “Is it another headache? Do you need me to bring you anything? I can have grandma drive me over to drop off chowder.”

“No. I’ll be fine,” he told her.

“Okay…” she said. She felt so defeated. She shouldn’t have to beg her father to spend time with her. “Well, I’m still staying at the pub until everyone comes back… now that we know they’re safe–” 

” –that’s good. That’s good,” he mumbled distractedly, already drifting off to sleep.

“Okay, Daddy. I love you,” she said, but she got no response at all. She hung up the telephone and started crying just as Austin poked his head into her room.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked.

“It’s like he’s a complete stranger!” she sobbed. “I don’t understand it.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Shane leaned in, staring Wilhelm Rolf in the face. They’d been going in circles for hours, but Rolf was as tight-lipped as a vault. In a last ditch effort to get the man to talk, Shane said, “You will answer the questions I ask you, or I’ll turn you over to Interpol.”

Rolf had been evasive with Shane and Abe’s questions all morning, giving them half truths, and partial answers. That’s when they decided to inform him of Stefano’s status medically, and the criminal charges pending against him. Rolf was less than pleased to find out that he also had several charges pending against him, including practicing medicine without a license, and conspiracy to commit kidnapping. He looked at Shane, and said, “What can you give me?”

“Are you really in a position to be bargaining right now?” Abe asked with frustration. Wilhelm Rolf was a fucking madman. Who was he to try and bargain after what he’d done? “What makes you think we owe you anything?”

“I want less than ten years, or I’ll risk Interpol,” Rolf told them. “I won’t settle for less.”

“Talk first,” Shane told him. “Stefano won’t be able to save you this time. We’ll decide if what you have to say is worth ten years.”

“What?” Rolf shouted in outrage. “You expect that I should tell you everything, and risk it? Why would I do that?”

“That’s the only option you have… unless you want to be turned over to Interpol right now?” Shane told him sitting back in his chair. He was getting tired of being locked into Rolf’s secret lab in the corner of Stefano DiMera’s house. He wanted to get home to his family.

“No. No!” Rolf said in frantic desperation. Stefano was in no position to help him out of this situation.

Abe leaned forward, and said in a low voice, “Tell us about Roman Brady.”

Rolf stared at Abe for a moment. Why were they asking about Roman Brady? Did they know something? He knew then that he had better tell the truth, because Abraham Carver already suspected. That much was obvious from the pointed nature of the question. “Roman Brady…” Rolf started to say, but his voice drifted off.

Abe was silent for a moment, and then he said, “John says Roman died in 1984.”

Rolf sighed deeply. John was giving them information. Information that he would know since he had been reset to 1984. The man was a traitor. Marlena Evans had gotten to him and he and Stefano had been completely unaware. There was not going to be any way for him to lie his way out of it, so he told them, “He did. His injuries were too great to survive. I tried everything, but by the time Stefano brought him to me, he’d already coded three times. I was able to keep him alive long enough to map his mind, although I feel that the mapping was flawed because of the state of the body at that point. Once it was finished, Stefano had me take him off of life support.”

“Is the man in Salem another of Stefano’s mercenaries? Or someone else?” Shane asked him.

Rolf laughed. “He was a British soldier. Stefano selected him because his features were similar to Roman’s, and with facial reconstruction he could be made to look like Roman,” Rolf said. “I have to say, I did an amazing job.”

Shane ignored Rolf’s last smug comment, and asked him, “If he was a British soldier, when did Stefano take him?”

“It was very early in 1991, during a training exercise in Thailand. Stefano needed time for me to complete the surgery, and then implant the micro chip, and program the memories.” Rolf was bored, but this was an opportunity to make his own genius evident.

“What was his name?” Shane asked.

“Why does it matter? He won’t ever get his memories back,” Rolf told them carelessly.

“Are you sure of that? Because Hope Brady might beg to differ,” Abe said.

“What are you talking about? Unless the chip is removed—” Rolf stopped speaking when he saw the smirks on Abe and Shane’s faces. Dawning realization had him asking, “You removed her microchip? What happened?”

“The name,” Shane said.

“Daniel Stern,” Rolf said quickly. He leaned forward, his eyes excited. “Now tell me, what does Hope remember? I have always wondered how the brain might react once the chip was removed, but Stefano never allowed me…”

“She remembers everything. Before the chip, and during her time with Stefano… she remembers all of her own memories, and all of Gina’s. She was remembering bits and pieces when she was at Maison Blanche. That’s why Stefano was bringing her to you. But you know that already. Now John is an interesting case… he’s remembering with the chip still implanted,” Abe told him.

Rolf started to stutter, “That–that is–is impossible! I reset John almost two months ago!”

“You reset him, yes… but was it successful?” Abe said with a sly grin. Turning to Shane, Abe said, “How do we find out if the British military is missing a soldier named Daniel Stern?”

Rolf sat there with an astounded look on his face. He had reset John. Everything was perfect, so how was John remembering, when all of his research said it was impossible? Shane watched Rolf sit in his chair quietly. The man was obviously confused by the fact that John was remembering things while the chip was still implanted, especially since he shouldn’t have any memories after 1984. 

Shane leaned closer, and said to him quietly, “Your boss left him alone for long periods of time with a world renowned psychiatrist. Did you really believe your work was fool proof? Stefano’s arrogance was, once again, his downfall.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The microchip needed to be removed, and since Mike Horton had been attending for the removal of Hope’s, as well as Austin’s, Marlena had called ahead to make an appointment for John. John, however, was as stubborn as ever. He had refused to go see Mike until Marlena had also made an appointment with Dr. Bader, to check on the baby. She hadn’t informed anyone that she was returning to Salem, assuming that Bo, Hope, or Abe had already made the call to Shawn or Caroline. As she stepped off of the elevator, holding John’s hand tightly, she was shocked and surprised to see Sami standing at the nurse’s station staring at her and John in wide eyed awe.

“Mom! Oh, my G-d! Mom,” Sami screamed, running towards her mother. She slammed into her, holding her tightly. “Mom!”

Marlena was instantly worried. Sami had been so angry and so distant for years, and her sudden concern was confusing. Smoothing her hands over her daughter’s cheeks, she whispered, “Sami, baby, is everything okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m fine,” she said, pulling back, glancing between her mother and John. “I was so worried, and scared that I wouldn’t see you again. Afraid that I wouldn’t get the chance to tell you that I love you… both of you, and I’m… I’m sorry. G-d, Mom, I’m so sorry.” 

Marlena continued to stare at her daughter as if she didn’t recognize her. A few months ago Sami was so angry she would barely speak to her. “Oh, Sami…”

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and taking care of Belle and Brady with grandma, Hope, and I’m sorry Mom… I’m so sorry,” she said. “Brady misses you, and Belle cries for both of you, and she doesn’t have the words to express it. Brady has a crumpled photograph of you, that he sleeps with–”

Marlena smiled softly, and whispered, ” –he does?”

Sami shakes her head in the affirmative, “He calls you Mama… and, he misses you too, Da—John.”

John looks at Marlena feeling slightly lost and overwhelmed. Marlena squeezes his hand in calm reassurance, and asks him, “Do you remember Sami, John?”

Sami studied him as he considered the question. He was still John, but different somehow. His voice was soft when he said, “I remember a poster contest, and a-a protest, a sit-in…”

Marlena smiled. “A sit-in?”

“Oh, G-d!” Sami said, looking down at the floor in shame. She felt the heat rising in her neck. His memory had been wiped and that was how he remembered her? “Of all the things you have to remember, you remember that?”

John smiled at her, “I told you… that you couldn’t organize protests at school. You were so adamant about it, and you said—”

“—it worked for Ghandi,” Sami finished. “Then you told me, Ghandi wasn’t eight years old.”

Marlena watched the byplay between Sami and John tentatively. She wasn’t sure if Sami was aware that she was having another baby, and she feared a return of the angry Sami. Sami saw the apprehension on her mother’s face, and she decided to say something, “Are you here to see Dr. Bader?”

“Yes,” her mother said softly. “I don’t want to upset you. I don’t want—”

“—can I… can I come?” she asked hesitantly. She saw the wariness in her mothers eyes. “I’d like to.”

John wasn’t sure what was happening between Marlena and Sami, and he felt that there were a lot of gaps that needed to be filled in. He watched as Marlena’s eyes teared up, and she reached for Sami’s hand. Finally she said, “I’d like that.”

Chapter 24 – Daddy

Roman stumbled down the stairs to answer the door. His head was pounding, and he stumbled when he reached the bottom. Whoever was knocking, was being quite persistent, which only seemed to exacerbate the pain thumping in his head. Jerking the door open, he was about to loudly inform whoever was there that they could leave, but stopped short when he came face to face with Shane and Abe. 

He found that he was almost instantaneously angry. He had made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing to do with the search for Marlena and John, so he was unsure why they were currently standing at his front door. He said nothing, staring at them blankly, and waited for one of them to speak.

Finally Abe said, “Roman, we needed to talk with you about something.”

Roman was not in the mood for conversation. He rubbed his hands over his face in frustration and gave them a hard stare. “Listen, I’ve got a raging headache that I can’t seem to kick, and I was resting upstairs, so if this can wait—”

“—it can’t,” Shane interjected, placing his hand on the edge of the door so that Roman couldn’t close it on them. If what Rolf had told them was true, it couldn’t wait. Roman’s headache could be an indicator that something was wrong. “We need to discuss it now. It’s incredibly urgent.”

Sighing deeply, Roman reluctantly opened the door wider allowing the two men to enter the house. He was exhausted. His sleep was erratic, his mind was plagued by dreams or visions of a family he didn’t know, but he felt like he should. He was confused, and withdrawn. It all served to make his temper shorter, and his fuse quick to light. Abe and Shane showing up unannounced made him feel even more overwhelmed. He sighed, following them into the living area. “Can you make it fast? I’m trying to kick this headache before I work tonight, and I haven’t been sleeping very well at all.”

Abe had no idea how to even start a conversation like the one they needed to have. He just hoped that Shane knew how to approach it. Shane looked at Roman, and got straight to the point, “Stefano was using microchips embedded into Hope, Austin, and John’s nervous systems to control them. You haven’t wanted to know about the investigation, but we have to pull you into this now. We have no choice. Stefano was able to have Hope believing that she was Gina Von Amberg for nearly three years. She was painting counterfeits of priceless art, and committing art heists. He used John as a mercenary for at least ten years, before he sent him to impersonate you for seven years. Most recently Stefano had John’s micro chip reset to 1984.”

“What does any of this have to do with me? I mean besides the obvious?” Roman asked gruffly.

“We think that you might also have a chip implanted into your nervous system,” Abe said. “We think that you might–”

“ –why would Stefano do that? I know who I am,” Roman told them, even while a nagging thought at the back of his mind asked him, do you? 

“Hope’s chip was removed by the ISA a while ago. John’s is being removed within the next few days. You were aware, at least in part, of Austin’s situation. He had a chip as well. The ISA was hoping that you’d be willing to get some scans done,” Shane told Roman. “We have Stefano and Wilhelm Rolf in custody, but neither one of them is providing much assistance.”

He wanted to fight them. Refuse. Tell them to get the hell out opf his house, but he found himself saying, “Sure. Sure. Normally, I’d say no, but these headaches are getting pretty bad, so a few tests wouldn’t hurt I guess.” He rubbed his forehead. “So, Doc and John are back then, huh?”

“Yes, but Roman,” Abe said warily, “you should keep in mind that John’s microchip was reset to 1984. He has a few memories of Marlena that he’s managed to get back, and some of the children, but that’s all. He doesn’t remember you, or your memories at this juncture.”

“But he’s remembering things? Even with the chip?” Roman asked curiously, thinking about his own recent odd dreams, and flashes of memory triggered by certain scents. “Could Stefano have implanted someone else’s memories in me? Are you asking me to do this because you think I have one?”

“Yes, he’s having flashes of memories that come with a lot of really strong emotion,” Abe said. “Those are the only ones.”

Strong emotions? Roman wasn’t ready to say anything, even though Abe was his dearest friend. If he went through with the tests, and there was a micro chip, he would deal with it all then. “When do you want to run the scans?”

Abe smiled at his friend, pleased that he’d agreed so easily. “Mike can meet with you this afternoon, partner.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Bo watched Hope’s hands as they folded napkins into precise rectangles. They sat in the kitchen at her grandmother’s house, and he perseverated about asking her the question that had been on his mind since they’d run into John in the tunnels under Stefano’s house. Without accusation, he asked her, “I was wondering… because you have Gina’s memories, as well as your own… do you have any, um, lingering feelings for John?”

Hope looked at Bo for a moment, surprised that he seemed worried. It hadn’t occurred to her that he might feel insecure, or self conscious about her retaining Gina’s memories. “I remember Gina’s feelings for John… and they’re strong when I dream, but I don’t feel that way. John has always been like a brother to me. When I first woke up, after the surgery, I would have these very vivid dreams where I loved him very much, but Bo, those weren’t my feelings. I would wake up and feel so confused, and sick to my stomach. As time goes on I still have Gina’s memories, but the emotions that came with them a few weeks ago are lessening. I don’t think about John in a romantic way at all… I think about you that way,” she said smiling at him.

He’d been taking his relationship with Hope very slowly. He’d been focusing on rebuilding their trust, and a solid friendship. Recently there had been more lingering looks between them, and soft touches, but he had yet to really kiss her. A few brushes of his lips over hers was not what he wanted. He understood why Billie had left Salem so abruptly, but Hope’s return didn’t immediately negate his feelings for the woman he’d thought he was going to marry, and Hope’s return didn’t make him instantly enamored with her; however, Hope’s answer to his question settled his soul. 

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately,” Bo told her.

“Have you? I’ve been thinking a lot about you too, Brady,” she said with a laugh.

He leaned closer to her, “Have you? What kind of things have you been thinking about?”

“The kind of stuff we shouldn’t talk about in my gran’s kitchen with Shawn D in the other room,” she whispered as she leaned towards him with flashing green eyes.

He swallowed thickly. “That sounds like the kind of stuff I think I’d like to hear more about.”

“Maybe later,” she said with a wink.

He thought about sneaking into her bedroom, and he asked, “Maybe tonight?”

Hope couldn’t help laughing. “You should ask me out on a date first, Bo Brady.”

“Oh, I definitely am,” he said with a smile.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Marlena, John, and Sami stared at the monitor displaying Marlena’s confirmed pregnancy. John was in awe looking at the small life on the screen, while feeling slightly overwhelmed at the idea of becoming a father, even though he knew he was already a father. It felt different. It felt like the first time. Marlena studied John’s face, and squeezed his hand in gentle reassurance, “I knew I was pregnant, but it’s so funny that I’m still processing that fact that I actually am.”

Sami’s head turned sideways, still staring at the screen. “Why does it look like a peanut with t-rex arms?”

Marlena started laughing, “We’re still early in the pregnancy. Things will even out soon enough.”

“We’re looking at a due date around the beginning of March. Does that sound about right?” Dr. Bader asked them. She was confused when Marlena had said the baby was John’s, but she wasn’t unprofessional enough to make a comment about it. 

Marlena blushed slightly, and murmured, “Yes.”

“You two are going to have your hands full,” Sami said. “Belle’s not even a year old, and she’s a wild child. Brady is pretty chill though, and at least you’ve got me to help out, plus Carrie… and, oh! Maybe Eric will come home.”

Marlena felt John’s hand shake where she held his fingers, and she looked up at him in concern. “John, are you okay, honey?”

“I’m fine. I’m happy… I want this microchip out of my neck. I want to remember… everything. All of it,” John told her.

Dr. Bader found herself confused yet again, but remained quiet as she took measurements.

“Are you sure, John?” Sami asked him. “Some of it’s not so much fun.”

“I want to remember all of it,” he told her, looking again at the baby on the monitor. “Marlena said I delivered Belle. I want to remember that. She said I raised you and Eric, with Carrie, by myself for almost seven years… I want to remember that too. If bad things come with it, I’ll handle it, but I want my family, and my memory back. I don’t want to feel alone.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Shane and Abe stood outside of the examining room, while Mike met with Roman to discuss his test results. Abe looked at Shane, and said, “How do we break the news to him… that he might not be Roman?”

Shane shrugged. “We could tell him before the surgery, or risk waiting until after.”

“Why would we wait?” Abe wanted to know.

“There’s the chance that if we tell him before the surgery, he could run, or he could decide not to do the removal. That’s a potential outcome we wouldn’t want to deal with.” Shane sighed, “I’d rather not have to forcefully take him into ISA custody.”

“I don’t know, Shane. I got a feeling this morning… Roman was holding back. He agreed to the tests too quickly. Roman hates doctors, and he’s been adamant for this whole investigation that he wanted nothing to do with it. If he didn’t have a reason to come here today, he would have refused,” Abe said. “And I’m not buying the headache excuse.”

“Do you think that with the headaches… do you think he’s remembering something? Maybe something he doesn’t want to talk about?” Shane asked.

“I think it’s a pretty good bet,” Abe replied.

Both of them turned towards the door to the exam room, when they heard Roman shout, “Get the fucking thing out of me!” A metal crash hit the floor, and they could hear things hitting the floor.

Shane quickly entered the room, followed by Abe, to see Mike standing there next to an enraged looking Roman. Glancing between Abe and then Shane, Roman roared, “There’s a G-d damned computer chip in my head, and I want it out!”

Mike stayed calm, and told him, “I can get you prepped, and into surgery within the hour. Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure! I’ve got all kinds of shit going on in my head. I’ve been thinking for months that I was losing my mind!” Roman turned to Shane, and asked him, “Am I even Roman Brady?”

That was what Shane had been worried about. He and Abe were silent for a long while, neither one expecting Roman to come to that conclusion on his own. He said quietly, “We don’t know.”

Roman watched them both with tears welling in his eyes. Unsure what to say next, he whispered, “I don’t either.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sami walked with Marlena and John to his appointment with Mike. She had so much she needed to say to John, but she knew none of it would really matter in his current state. He could barely remember her. She wanted him to know she still loved him, and that she was sorry for everything she’d done before Belle was born, and after Belle was born. Telling him now, when he had no memory of any of it, took away the impact of the apology. She wanted it to mean something, because she needed it to mean something.

As they rounded the corner, Marlena’s fingers threaded through John’s. She gave his hand a squeeze in reassurance. It was all she could do. 

They ran into Roman leaving Mike’s office, closely followed by Abe and Shane. Roman stopped, glancing down to see Marlena’s hand gripping John’s, and then looked over to Sami. Sami immediately looked down at the floor, unsure of what to say. Her feelings and her emotions were getting all tangled up again. “Abe mentioned that you two were back,” Roman said.

“We got back this morning,” Marlena said quietly. “John has an appointment with Mike.”

“Yeah, Shane said something about a whole bunch of us having microchips in our heads,” Roman muttered, refusing to even look at John. “I gotta call work, apparently I have to get this thing taken out of my neck.”

Sami watched as her father left without saying a word to her, and then looked up at Marlena. Tears filled her eyes as she said, “He barely even speaks to me lately. I try, but he… he’s always got a headache or he has to go to work. I’ve been—I’ve just been staying at the Horton Center with Bo and Hope, and helping out with Brady and Belle.”

“Sami, honey, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you,” Marlena told her, running her fingers softly over her daughter’s face. “I’m so proud of you, and grateful that you were here for Brady and Belle.”

“I think I needed this to happen. I needed to spend time with them. I needed to fall in love with them. Dad didn’t want anything to do with the search for you. He’s been so angry, and I’ve been angry with him for that,” Sami said. “I spent all of my free time with Brady, and with Belle. Brady loves trains and Ninja Turtles. Belle hates green peas, and loves carrots. I didn’t know any of that before… I didn’t let myself…” Sami started crying, unable to finish her sentence.

John felt this odd impulse to comfort her. Stepping forward he said, “Hey, Peanut, don’t cry. Don’t cry.”

Peanut. Sami wept even harder, knowing that he could barely remember her, and still wanted to comfort her. She had treated them both so badly, and they still loved her. They had always loved her. She threw herself towards John, slipping her arms around his waist and laying her face on his chest, whispering, “I love you, Daddy.”

Chapter 25 – Mending the Broken

Marlena awoke to the feel of John’s fingers running through her hair. He’d come out of surgery late in the night, and she couldn’t bear to leave him. Everyone else had gone home. Roman had come out of his surgery hours ago, but she hadn’t been able to leave John’s side to check on him. Instead, she’d fallen asleep with her head on John’s thigh, hunched over in a chair, while she clutched his hand tightly in hers. She was never leaving his side again. She looked up at him with sleepy eyes, and saw his beautiful smile, as he said, “I’m back, baby.”

“You remember?” she asked him excitedly.

“I remember,” he said quietly, touching the soft skin of her cheek with a brush of his fingers. “I remember everything from the time I was with Stefano… and with you and the children. I remember all of it. I think, maybe with time, I might remember some of my childhood.”

Marlena’s eyes went wide in surprise. “John, really?”

“I think so… I had a dream about Vivian. She was much younger. I gave her a crane… an origami crane,” he said, trying to recall more details. He chuckled softly, “She told she would keep it forever, although Vivian doesn’t seem the sentimental type, so I’m pretty sure it’s in a landfill somewhere.”

Her analytical brain was a whirl. “How old were you?”

“Maybe six? It would have been very near the time I supposedly died in the drowning accident I suppose,” John told her. He reached back, allowing his fingers to gently probe the bandage on the back of his head.

She squeezed his hand reassuringly. “But you remembered something. Something from before… John, that’s fabulous.”

He tugged on her, saying, “C’mere lady, climb up here with me.”

She tried to argue. “John, you’ve just had surgery–”

His look brooked no argument. “I remember saying the same thing to you once when you’d just come out of a coma and insisted I make love to you.” 

Marlena blushed, and then glanced down at their hands. “Well… yeah…”

“I feel fine, Doc. Get up here.” His eyes were almost pleading, and his voice was so soft. “I want to hold my woman in my arms, and sleep a little longer.”

“Your woman, huh?” She climbed onto the bed, sliding under the blanket John held up for her. She was so relieved that he was awake, and that he remembered her and the children. She found herself rubbing her face on his neck, while breathing deeply, “I love you, John.”

“Yes. My woman. You’re amazing, you know that, Doc?” he told her, while slowly running his hand up and down her arm. “You never gave up on me, and I was kind of an asshole that first night.”

“But you were my asshole, and I was determined to make you remember that,” she whispered.

“I love you so much, baby,” John murmured, turning to face her in the bed. He felt a twinge in his neck where the incision was, and must have winced, but it didn’t stop him from pulling her down lower in the bed with him.

“John, honey, stop moving around.”

“I want to see your face. I want to memorize every line, every angle, every fleck of gold in your eyes… I want to memorize it all.” He kissed her lips softly. “I want to never forget this moment.”

“We have time for that. I promise.” Her fingers swept over his lips in a gentle caress, as she said, “Get this, John Black, you’re stuck with me.”

“I remember you telling me that once in the mountains of West Virginia,” he breathed over her mouth. “I guess you were serious.”

“I decided that final night at Maison Blanche that I was done trying to fit myself into a life I didn’t want… because what I wanted was you. John, I’ve always wanted you. You are my heart, and my soul.”

“Ditto, lady… now kiss me,” he said leaning closer.

Marlena smacked at his chest. “John! Stop it, or I will get out of this bed. You are supposed to be resting.”

With a low chuckle in his throat, John said, “Fine. Fine. No kissing. Just snuggles.”

“That’s right. Just snuggles,” she whispered, kissing his neck softly.

He shivered. “If it’s just snuggles, Doc, you’d better stop kissing on my neck.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The man that the people of Salem knew as Roman Brady three years, woke up disoriented in a hospital bed, until he remembered why he was there. He was alive, so the surgery was successful. The problem was the memories. His. Roman’s. All of them. The memories started coming to him one after another, in a rush. He gripped his head and closed his eyes. His wife in England, his children, his extended family, his fucking dog… all of it was back. He had to get to them. He had to let someone know where he was. Just as he was about to start tearing out his IV line, Shane Donovan entered his room. 

He looked at Shane, and the words just fell from his mouth. The anger built as he spoke. “I’m not Roman Brady. I don’t belong here. I’ve got a job, a family… and fucking Stefano DiMera decided to what? Use me as a guinea pig? A stand-in for his hatred of the Brady family? None of this involved me!”

Shane shouldn’t have been surprised by the thick English accent, but it was surprising none the less. “I understand you’re upset. Rightfully so. Do you remember your name?”

“Daniel Stern. My name is Daniel Stern. My wife is Louisa, her family is Italian. She has a huge family… lots of fucking food, and a million reasons to get together. My daughter is Clara, and my son is–is Giovanni, after Louisa’s father. My dog… my dog’s name is Bean… oh my G-d… is my dog dead?” Daniel started to gasp for air. “I can’t breathe…”

“Slow down. Slow down your breathing,” Shane instructed him. “This is a lot to take in all at once. I understand that, but you’ve got to control your breathing.”

“This is all so fucked up. So completely fucked up,” Daniel said. “I had nothing to do with any of this!”

“When we questioned Dr. Rolf, he told us your name was Daniel Stern. The Royal Air Force has been notified since you disappeared during a training exercise in Thailand, but I wanted to speak with you before I contacted your family. You tell me what you would like to do, and I can make sure it happens,” Shane told him.

He tried to calm down, but he’d been gone for so long. “I want to go home, but I’ve been gone… nothing will be the same. Bloody hell! Clara would be almost fourteen now, and Giovanni will be eight. What if… what if she… my wife…”

Shane took a seat next to Daniel’s hospital bed, saying kindly, “Your wife never remarried, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Daniel rubbed his hands over his face. “She didn’t? Wow… wow, okay… yeah, can you contact her? Tell her I’m coming home, as soon as I get out of here. I’m going home,” he said.

Shane told him, “I can do that. How do you want to break the news to the Brady’s?”

“Shit. Can you call Bo? Get Bo here, and we can figure this out.”

“I can do that,” Shane said. He glanced at his watch, noting the time. “It’s still early in the morning. Try to get some rest, and I’ll be back later.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sami smiled to herself when she opened the door to John’s room, and found her mother curled up in bed with him. She’d been so young when she was told that John wasn’t her father. The hurt, and the sadness were still new and raw, even though it had been so long. Probably because she’d never processed the pain. She’d shoved it down, and refused to acknowledge what she’d lost. It was time to face everything. She looked down when she felt Austin squeezed her hand, and then she smiled up at him. “Thank you for coming with me,” she whispered. 

Staring at her mom and John she thought about finding them in the Titan conference room. Her anger wasn’t rooted in the event the way most people might assume. It wasn’t the idea that her mother was cheating on her father. It was jealousy. As odd as it might have sounded. She was jealous. She couldn’t have John. Eric, and Carrie couldn’t have John… but at that moment, when she saw her mother with John, she hated her mom. In her mind, the night he left her in her bedroom and walked out of their lives, none of them were allowed to love him any more. None of them. As ridiculous and convoluted as that sounded, if none of them could have John, if none of them could love him, her mothers affair with him became the ultimate betrayal. She understood that now. She was sad that it had taken her so long to realize where her anger was really coming from.

“They’re asleep,” she whispered to Austin. “Maybe I should come back later?” She glanced over at her mother, curled into John, and decided to leave the room and check back later. Sami started to back out of the door, but John opened his eyes, and said sleepily, “Hey, Peanut. Don’t go.”

“I was going to let you sleep some more,” she said quietly.

“I’m fine. I was hoping we could talk.” John glanced at Austin, and then down at their linked hands. “Who’s this?”

“A friend,” she said with a smile. 

Austin kissed her cheek, whispering, “I’ll check back in a little bit.”

“Okay,” she said. Sami approached the bed, seeing the question in John’s eyes as the door to his room closed. “It’s a long story.” She sat in the chair that had been previously vacated by her mother. She took a deep breath, and finally said, “I wanted to tell you I was sorry. I’m sorry about a lot of things. I’m not going to name it all. We don’t need to rehash it, just know… I wish I’d done things differently.”

John knew how much it took for Sami to come there and ask his forgiveness. “Peanut, people make mistakes. That’s not me excusing it, because what you did was wrong, there’s no denying that, but I also understand what your mother and I did… it hurt a lot of people. Especially you.”

“That’s just it, though. I think I had it all wrong. I was so angry, and I kept saying it was because you’d hurt dad, you know? But maybe that wasn’t entirely it,” she said softly. “When I saw you and mom that night… I was angry, but before I was angry, I was jealous. Jealous that you were taken away from me, Eric, and Carrie. That we weren’t allowed to have you in our lives anymore, but, but… G-d, I know this sounds insane, but I felt like she stole you from me… from us. We couldn’t have you in our lives, but mom was sneaking around with you. It was unfair. I said it was about dad… but-but, I’m not sure it was entirely.”

He gave her a kind smile. “Not as crazy as you’d think. I can understand it. I think I felt something similar, in a roundabout way. When your mom made a life with Roman, and I felt like he wasn’t loving her the way he should… I felt like that was such a waste, and that’s not to disparage your father, I just wanted to be the one to love her, and–”

“ –I understand,” Sami said quietly. She loved her dad, but she couldn’t keep making excuses for him to keep her anger alive. “My dad is… I’m not sure, you know? I mean grandma and grandpa have tried to make the way he acts okay. They make excuses for him, but I–I… I understand. That’s all. I’ve been working on a lot of stuff in therapy, and Dr. Bower said I should tell you, but we can do it later…”

John smoothed his palm over Marlena’s back, saying, “I think, Peanut, I need to hear it now. I don’t want this between us anymore.”

She sighed softly. “When I found out you weren’t my dad… it tore me up, so I pushed it away. I stomped down the memories. I refused to acknowledge the loss, and-and it grew into something I didn’t recognize anymore. I turned it all inward, hurting myself, because I didn’t know what to do with all the pain. I’m-I’m sorry. I just wanted to say that. I’m so sorry,” Sami said, crying softly. “Brady is amazing. Belle is amazing, and I didn’t even know how wonderful  they were, until I thought I’d lost you both again. How dumb is that?”

“Sometimes even the horrible things in life have a way of giving us something that might not be so bad,” John told her. “You’ve always been full of love Sami. You have to share that with the people around you.”

“That’s funny,” she said. “Hope told me the same thing.”

“Hope is a smart woman. You should listen to her,” John said with a smile. “I want you to know, Sami, I love you… and I love your mother.”

“I know,” Sami whispered.

Marlena started to stir against his chest, waking up to the soft sound of voices. She pushed her hair out of her face, and stared up at John with groggy eyes. Looking over at Sami, she asked in a sleepy voice, “When did you get here?”

“A little bit ago. I wanted to check on John,” she said. Then with a smirk she added, “He seems like he’s doing fine.”

“It’s not often you get a doctor who stays for overnight check-ups,” John said with a small laugh.

“Yeah, right,” Sami snorted. “I’ve got to go find Austin.”

John cocked his eyebrow, saying, “When are we going to meet him, and hear this long story?”

“We’ll come back later. I promise.” She stood up. “I love you…both of you.”

“We love you too, Peanut,” John said.

Sami smiled at them one last time before she quietly left the room. John looked down at Marlena, “Did you hear all of that?”

“I did, but I wanted to let her speak to you freely. She’s been holding onto that for awhile. I never quite thought of it that way though,” Marlena said. “That I had access to you and she felt she wasn’t allowed to.”

“How do you mean?”

“I always felt her anger, and her hurt was because we’d hurt Roman. It was so much more than that. She was still grieving you. She was missing you, and wanted you in her life,” Marlena said softly. “Do you remember when she first came back to Salem? She hurt her ankle falling from the window?”

“I do.”

Marlena’s voice went soft as she said, “You came by the house to check on her the next morning. John, she was so happy to see you. Her eyes lit up, and she practically begged you to drive us to the hospital for her check-up.”

“It felt like we were family for one brief, shining moment. I remember thinking how amazing it felt.” He sighed. “I felt so guilty for it later.”

“And I understand that. Losing you almost killed me, I can’t imagine what she must have felt losing you at eight years old. When she saw us together, in the conference room at Titan, she was still grappling with the guilt of missing you, while trying to navigate a new relationship with Roman. Seeing me with you, yes, it was upsetting because it would hurt Roman, an affair is very damaging to the family structure… but she was also upset because she felt like she had been forced to give you up, and I hadn’t. It explains why her rage was so deep, and why she couldn’t fully understand it herself at the time.”

John sighed, breathing in Marlena’s scent. “Losing the kids… that nearly did break me. If I hadn’t had Isabella, I don’t know what I would have done.”

Marlena whispered, “If you hadn’t had Isabella… I don’t know what I would have done.”

John was momentarily confused, until he realized that had Isabella not been pregnant, or had Isabella not been present in his life, Marlena might not have chosen Roman. “I thought you chose Roman… because…”

“No. Things were so complicated. I couldn’t watch you struggle to make a near impossible decision, so I made it for you,” she whispered. “Besides, that morning after you’d spent the night with her on the beach… the decision was made.”

He was quiet for so long, Marlena looked up at him. Finally he said, “I wish you hadn’t.”

“What would you have done, John? You loved her, you cared for her… she was having your baby,” Marlena said. “In the end, you had so little time with her.”

“I just wished—I wish I’d known that I had a chance with you. I felt that after finding out the truth, Roman would be the natural choice.”

Propping herself up on her elbow, she looked down at him, asking, “What would that have done?”

“I don’t know,” he said softly. “Watching you live your life with Roman was so painful, maybe knowing that it was… if I knew that it was just as painful for you, maybe it would have hurt less?”

Marlena felt tears sting her eyes, and she reached out, stroking his jaw. “I doubt that, because when two souls are drawn together, the way we are, there was no way for it to hurt less.”

“There were times, though. Times when I suspected, when the tension in the room was so thick, and we were alone.” He touched a strand of her hair that hung over her shoulder, and asked, “Do you remember when I came by the house to ask you about—”

“—when I told you about Shawn’s dream of owning a pub? Yeah. Yeah, I remember. I had to turn away from you, because staring into your eyes was… it hurt so badly,” she whispered, placing her palm on his jaw. “I wouldn’t have been able to hide my emotions from you.”

“I wanted to push you against that wall of pictures you’d made, and devour you,” he said against her lips. “I remember the way your sweater fell off of your shoulder, and it wanted to touch you. You weren’t mine, and yet every time I saw you, I was fantasizing and imagining all the dirty things I wanted to do to you.”

“Kiss me,” Marlena whispered, threading her hands into his thick hair. She pulled his mouth towards her, and licked lightly across his bottom lip. “But remember, you need to rest, so only kisses. Only kisses…”

“You are such a fucking tease,” he groaned.

Chapter 26 – Coming Full Circle

Three Months Later

When the truth about Daniel Stern was revealed, and Roman’s death was confirmed, the Brady family mourned Roman Brady for the second time. As Marlena and John expected, it seemed to hit Sami the hardest. At first she had tried to handle it the way she handled all things that hurt – she refused to face it, and pushed those hard, complicated emotions down. The day Daniel left for England, he asked to see her. Sami refused. She simply couldn’t handle it. It was another loss, another person abandoning her, another person who’d lied to her, no matter how inadvertently, and it took time to process that. Marlena was grateful for Dr. Bower. It took almost two months before she could coax her daughter back into therapy. It took another month before Sami was ready to read the letter that Daniel had written to her before he left.

Snuggled into her mother’s side on the long sofa in her penthouse, Sami sighed deeply holding the letter tightly clenched in her hand. Another long, complicated, and overwhelming therapy session had finished with Dr. Bower, and Sami was exhausted. She was having a hard time finding the motivation to open the letter, afraid of what it might contain, but she’d decided that she was ready.

Marlena was softly trailing her fingers through Sami’s hair, where her head rested against her shoulder. She felt the baby kick hard and fast. She smiled softly, as Sami started tearing the envelope, saying, “I’m going, I’m going. Don’t rush me.” Sami was silent for a moment, and then Marlena heard her say in a choked voice, “Can you read it to me?”

“I can,” Marlena told her gently, taking the letter from her shaking hand. She felt a wet tear fall on her and soak the fabric of her shirt. Taking a deep breath, Marlena read, “My Dearest Samantha Gene, Stefano made pawns of us all. He came into our lives, and for varying reasons, he tried to destroy us. But you, you had nothing to do with any of it. You, Carrie, and Eric were collateral damage to a madman who had one goal… to destroy the Brady family. Don’t let him succeed. Don’t let your sadness and your anger shape and mold you into someone with lifelong bitterness. I may not be your father, and honestly, I wasn’t very good at it when I was, but Roman’s memories are still within me. His emotions are still here, too. He loved your mother with everything in his soul. Her beauty, her strength, and her vulnerability. He loved it all. The day you and Eric were born was the best day of his life. He honestly didn’t believe that there could be anything greater. Please don’t forget that. He may have spent less than a month with you, but his love for you was all encompassing. I love you, too. Please don’t shut out your mother… or John. They both love you more than you could ever know. Love, Daniel.“

Sami buried her face in her mother’s shoulder and sobbed. She cried for her father, the man she’d never known. She cried for John, the man who raised her. And she cried for her mother, the woman who would always stand by her. Every loss in her life had taken such a heavy toll on her, and she was struggling to keep it from pulling her down. After several long minutes of tears, where her mother held her tightly, Sami said, “I feel so bad, that I refused to see him before he left.”

“He understands why. He did. John and I… we met with him. He did love you, Sami. The last few months though, they were rough for him, because he was having headaches, and memories that made no sense. He was fighting against them, and he worried that Stefano had somehow put someone else’s memories in him… He truly felt like he might have been going insane. At least that’s the way he described it to us,” Marlena said softly. Having a conversation with a man who had Roman’s face, and a British accent was surreal in itself. Knowing she’d been tricked by Stefano, and the fact that she’d made love to that man, had her feeling violated all over again. “Daniel didn’t understand what was happening. He was very regretful for how he treated you.”

Sami whispered, “I was so angry when he wouldn’t look for you and John.”

Marlena stroked her daughter’s head. “I don’t think he could, honey. There was a lot of chaos in his mind at that point.”

Sami was silent for a long while, soaking in the warmth of her mother, and realizing how good it felt to feel so safe, so settled. She knew she was stubborn, and she knew her family had been correct about her. The anger and rage that she used to ground herself to reality, that was not her natural state. She’d figured that out when her mother and John were gone, and she was taking care of Belle and Brady. She had so much love in her, and her fear of losing love, kept her from finding joy. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too, Samantha.”

She hadn’t moved back in with her mother yet, although John was living there with Belle and Brady. Sami was ready to take that final step, she just had to tell her mom. “Did you find out the sex of the baby yet?”

“We found out yesterday,” her mother said softly, running her fingers over her rounded abdomen. The baby kicked again, and she smiled.

Sitting up quickly in excitement, Sami said, “You did? Well?”

“It’s a girl.”

Staring down at her mother’s belly, Sami grinned. “Oh! Yes! John, Brady, and Eric are completely outnumbered now! Have you thought about names?”

Marlena laughed at Sami’s teenage antics, before responding, “We have… well, we’ve briefly discussed it, but we didn’t feel strongly about any of them. We’ve got time.”

“Time for what?” John asked as he descended the stairs with Belle and Brady in each arm.

“Time to name the baby,” Sami told him, smiling at Brady.

“Sassy!” Brady screamed with joy, wriggling to get out of John’s arms. “My sassy!”

“I thought it was Sissy?” Sami wrinkled her nose and gave Brady an odd look of confusion. “And I keep telling you, my name is Sami.”

“Sassy?” John asked with a smirk. “That sounds accurate. Hey Brady, you want to hang out with Sassy while Mom and I go visit a friend?”

“Yes!” The small boy’s eyes lit up with joy, as he hit the ground running, with his arms outstretched. “Sassy!”

“Oh, my G-d!” Sami threw her legs over the side of the couch and braced herself for the impact, scooping Brady into her arms. “It’s Sami, Brady… Sami.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John and Marlena met with Abe and Shane at the Salem PD. They weren’t sure what the meeting was about, only that Abe had said they needed to be there. Just as they were settled, Bo and Hope strolled in. Abe looked at them with frustration, “Can you two ever be on time for anything?”

Bo looked at Abe with irritation, and Hope blushed deeply. Marlena knew immediately why they were late, and she looked at John, who just winked at her. 

John cleared his throat, and said, “So you called us all here, what’s going on?”

“I received an update on Stefano from the ISA this morning. As you know he survived the surgery to attempt the reconstruction his knees, but he’s been largely immobile since the shooting. As a result of this, he’s been in physical therapy, but not making much progress,” Shane told them. “The damage done to the cartilage and bone in that area was extensive, and knee replacement was deemed problematic.”

“Good,” John said without any sympathy. “The fucking bastard deserved it.” 

Marlena looked at John softly, laying her hand on his arm, while stroking him gently. His true personality had been coming out over the last few months, and she was fascinated to see it. He was a mix of who he could have been as a priest, who he was when he was a mercenary, he had traits that were obviously Roman’s, and then there was the John Black she’d known since 1991. All of them were merging together to create a John Black who had little patience for nonsense, but loved with his whole heart.

“A couple weeks ago, he contracted a cold, which quickly turned to pneumonia. As of yesterday, he was on life support, and the doctors don’t believe that he will survive,” Shane said.

Marlena found that she had been holding her breath, and released a large sigh, “He’s dying?”

Abe nodded. “Yes.”

“I want proof,” John said, standing up and running his fingers through his hair roughly. “I want fucking proof, because that man has faked his death too many times for me to take the word of the ISA. I want to see his cold, dead, body on a fucking slab in the morgue before I’ll believe he’s dead.”

Shane understood John’s anger, “That can be arranged.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The doorbell at the Alamian mansion rang, and Ivan went to answer the door. Whoever was there was obnoxious with their knocking. They had already rung the bell, why knock as well? Opening the door, he came face to face with John Black. He sighed. The man was wholly uncivilized in Ivan’s opinion, but madam seemed fascinated by him, so Ivan tolerated him. “Mr. Black,” Ivan said.

“Hello, Ivan,” John replied, pushing by him, and entering the house. He glanced around at Vivian’s collection of antiques. “I need to speak with my dear Aunt Vivian.” 

He continued through the foyer and into the living room to find her sitting on the couch with an art magazine in her hand. She seemed surprised to see him, and took a moment to say something. Closing her magazine, she stood up. “John, what a surprise. Have you come to harass me about something, or can it wait until the next Titan board meeting?” she said with a wave of her hand.

John studied her for a moment. Red curls. Deep amber brown eyes. She seemed uncomfortable with his scrutiny. “I have some questions, and I need answers,” he said. “It’s about my past.”

Placing her magazine down on the table beside her, Vivian walked over to pour herself a brandy. There was a look in his eyes that had her heart racing, and she couldn’t bring herself to hope that it was recognition. “I don’t know how I could help you. I barely knew you as a child,” she said. “I was traveling at the time. Paris. Montreal. Sicily–”

John cut her off quickly, saying, ” –you’re lying.”

Vivian paused, looking at him closely, before saying, “I don’t know what you think you remember, John, but honestly it was all so long ago, and I find discussing tedious and rather boring, so if you don’t mind–”

“ –I do mind.” He stepped closer, staring at her. Her lips trembled, and she seemed uneasy. Softly he said, “When I was small… I gave you an origami crane. I think it was… right before my accident. The one in the pool.” He watched tears well up in her eyes, but she said nothing. He whispered, “You used to make me hot chocolate late at night, and we would drink it outside on the veranda where you would tell me about the constellations. Do you remember that? Sometimes at bedtime you would talk to me about art, and sculpture. Vivian, you took me to museums…”

She wasn’t ready for any of it. Memories assaulted her. The scent of baby soap, and Forrest’s soft little hands. The way he would laugh over the most mundane things, and beg her for hugs and kisses. She had blocked off her emotions as soon as she’d learned that John Black was Forrest Alamain. She’d read the DNA results and completely closed herself off. John Black couldn’t remember her, and so she’d shut it all down, allowing herself to be relieved that he was alive, but never holding out any hope that he might recall their past. 

She nearly dropped the glass of brandy in her hand. Her fingers shook as she attempted to elegantly place it down on the drink cart. Instead it landed with a heavy, solid plop causing the liquid to splash. He saw wariness in her eyes when she asked him, “How much do you remember?”

“Most of it… all of it,” he said. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Their relationship over the last few years had been built on adversity, he wasn’t sure how to proceed. It hurt. The way he remembered her and the coldness she treated him with were at odds. “Why didn’t you tell me, Vivian? When you and Lawrence did the DNA test, why didn’t you tell me? I don’t understand.”

Her voice choked when she asked him, “What good would it have done, John? You didn’t remember me. You didn’t… I was just grateful to find out you were alive. I decided that knowing you were alive would have to be enough.”

“That’s why Philomena faked my death, why she hid me… to get me away from you?” John asked her, already knowing the answer, but needing so badly for Vivian to admit it. He took a deep breath. “I remember an argument between you and my mother. It’s hazy, because I was so young, but she said you were getting too close to me. That you needed to remember who my mother was…”

She tried again, to act as if nothing was wrong. “Philomena was paranoid. She thought you had grown too close to me, so she faked your death, and took you away. That’s all.” But it wasn’t that way at all. Philomena had taken the very core of Vivian’s soul when she thought Forrest died. She was never the same after that. 

John watched her, asking, “Is that all, Vivian? Because I don’t think it is.”

“I don’t know what else there could be,” she replied, turning away from him. John reached for her arm, turning her back around to face him, and she felt more tears sting her eyes. 

“The interesting thing about my memory returning is that when the memories came back, they came back in full detail… as if they had just happened. All of the detail, all of the emotion… it was there. I remember loving you so much, even at six years old. I remember wishing that you were my mother,” John said. “You were such a part of my life, and then I was taken to a Catholic school in New York, given a new name, and you were gone… and I was so fucking lonely and confused…”

Vivian started crying, swiping at the tears on her cheeks in frustration, upset that she was showing him how vulnerable she felt in the moment, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what my sister did to you. Had I known—”

“—what? Would you have come, and taken back your son?” he asked her with eyes full of sadness. 

A small gasp escaped her lips, as she stared into his deep blue eyes. The eyes of a child she had given birth to at the age of fourteen. A son she was never allowed to keep, but she had loved with her whole being. He knew. She couldn’t keep pretending. She gasped, wiping at her eyes again. “I loved you, and I lost you. I was young, stupid… getting pregnant at fourteen. It was… an instructor of mine. My father was outraged. Embarrassed. Ashamed. He took me out of boarding school, and hid me away until the birth… Then he took you. You see you were an Alamain heir, I just wasn’t allowed to raise you. He gave you to my brother Leopold and his wife–

“ –Philomena,” John said quietly.

“I was never able to grieve you, as a mother should, because I was only your aunt. My father and my sister-in-law made sure that I didn’t get to keep you, or love you as my own,” she whispered.

“But you did anyway, and out of jealousy and selfishness, Philomena Alamain took me away,” John said. “I was so scared when she left me in New York. I cried for you at night… I never cried for her, because she was never the one who wiped my tears. She was never the one who played with me, or painted with me. She didn’t teach me to swim, or how to hold chop sticks. That was all you, because even while I was told that you were my aunt… you felt like my mother.”

“I am your mother,” she whispered. Her fingers shook when she finally reached out and touched his face, whispering, “I still have the crane, you know. It was the last gift you gave me… and I still have it.”

Chapter 27 – The Phoenix Will Not Rise Again

Stefano DiMera died from complications of pneumonia three days after John, Marlena, Hope, and Bo met with Shane and Abe. As promised, John was allowed to view the body to give himself, and the rest of the Brady family, peace of mind. Peace in their hearts and their souls that Stefano was gone forever this time. Yet, even as they were assured that Stefano was really dead, a part of John wasn’t sure he fully believed it. He could only hope that what he saw with his own eyes was the truth and he wasn’t being duped again. 

Leaving the morgue with Marlena by his side, he held her hand gently in his. He could only focus on the future. He couldn’t focus on what devious machinations Stefano DiMera may or may not have planned for him. 

Glancing over at Marlena, he said, “So, I was thinking about grabbing some lunch. Chez Vous?”

“Chez Vous?” she asked with a smile. “That’s quite elegant for a simple lunch.”

He felt the velvet box for the engagement ring in his pocket, and he said softly, “You deserve the best, and an elegant lunch is exactly what you will get.”

She smiled up at him, whispering, “You are the most amazing man, John Black. The most utterly amazing man.”

Kristen’s stomach wobbled, when she and Tony started crossing the street towards the morgue and she saw John kissing Marlena. His arms were wrapped around her, and her fingers were laced into his hair. Kristen could imagine what he tasted like. She could remember the way his mouth used to claim hers. It ached to watch him with another woman, but she’d walked away from him, hadn’t she? She glanced over at Tony as he swiped his cane from side to side, navigating his way across the street. He’d lost his sight in a fire at Maison Blanche after he’d returned from the business trip he’d taken to the Caribbean. He hadn’t even told her that he was planning to stop in New Orleans on the way home. Instead she’d received a call from a hospital in Louisiana asking her to come down immediately. 

She held his arm, whispering, “The curb is coming up. You’ll need to step up.”

“Thank you, darling,” Tony told her kindly.

She helped her husband, regretting so many things in her life. Her gaze fixed on John wrapped around Marlena in a kiss that seemed it would never stop, and she regretted not following him out of the church the day she married Tony the most.

Marlena gave John’s bottom lip one last small bite, as she gasped across his mouth, “Oh my…”

His whole body was throbbing. He smiled at her, stroking his fingers across her cheek as he said, “I want to strip you bare right here… but I won’t.” Kissing her one last time, he whispered, “But tonight, when the kids are at the pub, baby you better be prepared. You won’t be getting much sleep.”

Her stomach fluttered, and her core squeezed. She leaned into him, saying softly, “We could skip lunch, and go straight home.”

Kristen felt sick as she cleared her throat. Those two were so wrapped up in each other they hadn’t even noticed her and Tony, and the worst part was, she couldn’t walk by and ignore them. It was rude, and one or the other would notice. At least Marlena had the good sense to blush, as Kristen said to John, “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

However, John was not surprised to see Kristen and Tony coming to claim the body of their father. They’d probably give Stefano another outlandish funeral. What would that be, number thirteen? 

Tony seemed surprised. “Kristen, darling? Who’s there?”

“It’s John and Marlena,” she said, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

 Kristen stepped forward, touching John’s arm gently. Marlena watched her with narrowed eyes. After everything she’d learned about Kristen’s lies her innocent glance was nothing but a mask, and she wore it to perfection. How many people in Salem had Kristen fooled with it?

“John,” Kristen asked. “Why are you here?”

John stared down at the spot where her hand touched his arm, and then glanced back up, giving her a hard stare. She awkwardly removed it. Something was different about him. She hadn’t seen him since his return to Salem. She’d been caught up with Tony’s care, and then there was their trip to Lugano to see an eye specialist. 

John stared at Kristen and then glanced over at Tony. He’d heard about the fire at Maison Blanche. The ISA felt that it was set deliberately. Tony had rushed back inside to try and retrieve some family heirlooms. His blindness was a result of that failed attempt. John said, “I came to make sure that the old man was really dead. He is. I can go now.”

He started to walk away, when he heard Tony’s voice tinged with anger behind him, “That’s my father you’re talking about.”

“John, that’s horrible—” Kristen whispered in shock.

But, John didn’t care what they thought. Stefano DiMera was dead, and the world was better off for it. He wouldn’t pretend for propriety’s sake that he felt any other way. He watched Kristen for a moment, confused about how he’d ever believed himself in love with her. His pasts had meshed so perfectly, that the holes in his life glared back with clarity. He’d never loved her, a broken part of himself had been drawn to her because she was a piece of his past. Nothing more. She was raised with lies, and she would continue to lie. 

Looking at Kristen, he said in a tone so low it was eerie, “I don’t owe you or Tony anything, since you both lied to me for years, but that dead man lying in there…” He pointed towards the morgue. “…he was never a father to you.”

“He raised me and Peter, when we had no one else,” Kristen said defensively. “He cared for us.”

“You had no one else, because of him,” John said pointedly. “Stefano killed your father. Your mother ended her own life to be free of him. Maybe you should ask your husband about that,” he told her, while looking at Tony. Glancing back to Kristen, he told her, “If he won’t tell you, then you can find your answers in a town called Aremid, about 300 miles from here. Aremid… it’s DiMera spelled backwards. Other than that, I’m done with your family, and you, Kristen. I’m done with your lies.”

“I don’t know what you mean—” she started to say, but John cut her off with a wave of his hand. He reached for Marlena’s hand, taking it in his. 

He looked at Kristen, without an ounce of warmth. “Yes, you do.” He leaned closer to her, almost whispering in her ear, “I remember everything, Kristen. Everything.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later that evening, Marlena was comfortable in John’s arms, when she asked him, “Are you okay?” Her engagement ring glistened on her finger, and she couldn’t help smiling at her joy. Everything that Stefano had put them through would haunt her for the rest of her life, and yet… she had John in her life. Was it worth it all? It was. To have him, and make a life with him, she would do it all again.

“With what?” he asked her, softly kissing the top of her head. 

She rolled awkwardly to face him, adjusting her rounded abdomen to fit the new position, while propping herself up on her elbow. “With everything, all of it… your memory, Stefano being dead… Vivian… and then running into Kristen and Tony this afternoon. That must have been very difficult for you.”

He didn’t respond for a while, but then he told her, “I’m working through it. Stefano’s death is a relief. I wanted to kill him in the attic that last time… but I didn’t. I couldn’t stand the idea of what you might think of me if you saw me do something like that, but I guess I ended up killing him anyway, didn’t I?”

Marlena reached up, stroking his jaw gently with the back of her hand. “I don’t look at it like that. I don’t believe that you killed him.”

He stared into her eyes. She loved him so much, he could see it. “I do, but I have no guilt over it. Does that… does that make you look at me differently?”

“No. Never. John, I love you completely. Unconditionally. Stefano put you through so much… I wouldn’t have judged you if you had killed him right then. I think a part of me wished you had, at the time,” she said, kissing his lips softly. “I think you forget, I killed Stefano once myself. Have you had any more memories of Vivian?”

“She was a good mother, even though she wasn’t supposed to be, and she was young, Doc. Some of the things she did with me were so childlike, but then, she was still a child. Wasn’t she? She’d just turned twenty when Philomena hid me away. Vivian grew up too fast. Sometimes she would call me my boy, and I once saw anger on Philomena’s face when she heard Vivian say that to me. I understand it now. I didn’t then, but I felt the tension.” His head fell back against the cushion, and he closed his eyes.

Marlena laid down against him, rubbing her face against the curve of his neck. “It’s hard for me sometimes to think of Vivian in the way you remember her. She is so hard now, rough around the edges. She’s a cutthroat business woman, but you remember her as so affectionate.”

“Losing me hardened her.” John smiled sadly, “She said when I was in the pool accident, and she believed that I was dead, she simply shut down emotionally. She pushed everyone away, and refused to face the pain.”

“Sounds like someone we know,” Marlena whispered, thinking of Sami.

John’s voice was so soft when he asked, “Do I let Vivian in? Do I bring her into our lives, Doc?”

She didn’t have to think about it. Her answer slipped from her lips without thought. “Yes. She deserves her chance I think. She… she’s done questionable things, and I won’t say I’m not concerned, but she was a child when you were born. She was groomed by her teacher, and essentially raped. She certainly couldn’t consent at thirteen. Having you torn from her right after the birth, watching her brother raise you… she deserves a second chance.”

“Even after everything we know about her?” he asked.

“Yes, John, because somewhere inside of her is that young girl who loved you with all of her heart. That same girl that made you feel more loved than the woman who was supposed to be your mother. Your childhood self wouldn’t have loved her as much as you did, if there wasn’t something there worth loving,” Marlena whispered.

“Granny Viv,” John said with a smirk. “She’s gonna love that.”

“John!” Marlena laughed. “Don’t you dare tell the children to call her that! She’ll hate it!”

He laughed, “She might secretly love it.”

“I don’t think so,” she chuckled. “Vivian Alamain is not a Granny Viv type of woman. She’s a grandmother type.”

John pulled her closer to him, kissing her temple softly. “Not in this house, Doc. Not in this house.”

Chapter 28 – And They Lived Happily Ever After

Three Months Later

Sami sat on the couch watching her mother, barely able to move with her advanced pregnancy, as she hobbled down the stairs of the penthouse. “You know, Mom, this place is getting a little crowded. With the new baby, that’s an extra person,” Sami said. “How are we going to make room? I mean you and dad have a room, then Belle’s room, Brady’s room, my room–”

Marlena slowly stepped off of the bottom step. She was grumpy, and exhausted. Her back hurt, and every ache had pain running down the backs of her legs. She just wanted to lay down and close her eyes on the couch, but she’d had to get Belle and Brady ready for their night with Shawn and Caroline, since Chelsea was out of town on a family emergency. The children were napping until it was time to go. Her tone was irritated when she gave Sami a look and said, “Thank you for pointing that out, Samantha Gene.”

Sami started laughing, and said, “Someone’s grumpy.”

“I was due three days ago,” she grumbled. “This girl needs to come on out, and join the family.” Marlena  sat heavily on the couch, tossing the monitor for Belle’s room onto the cushion beside her. Besides, she and John had already discussed how small the penthouse was. The baby would be in their room while they looked for a larger home. It simply hadn’t been a priority since they’d been back in Salem. She sighed. “My back is killing me. It hurt all night, and I can’t seem to find any comfortable position. I’m tired and exhausted. House hunting, or even thinking about it, is simply too stressful right now.” Her head fell back against the cushion, and she closed her eyes with a sigh. 

Sami eyed her mom curiously. She’d worked at the hospital long enough to know that labor didn’t always look the way people thought it did in movies. “Ooooh! Maybe you’re in labor.”

“I’ve been through pregnancy and labor before. It never felt like this,” Marlena muttered. With DJ, the twins, and Belle, labor had been consistent. What she was feeling was nothing like that. She was just wholly uncomfortable, and the baby was larger than her other children. This was the first pregnancy she’d ever carried to full term.

“I was talking to Mike Horton the other day, and there’s this thing called back labor—” Sami said.

Marlena sighed. While Sami’s growing fascination with obstetrics was admirable, she didn’t have the patience. “—I’m a doctor, Samantha Gene. I know what back labor is, and that’s not what’s happening—” She stopped speaking suddenly when another ache rocked though her lower back. She rolled onto her side, and groaned, curling in on herself to try and alleviate the discomfort. Suddenly, she felt a slight pop, and a trickle of fluid. “Oh, G-d! The couch!” she shouted trying to get back up.

Sami jumped to her feet and held out her hands to assist her mother with getting up. With a wide smile she exclaimed,  “I was right, Mom! It’s back labor!”

“Oh, G-d!” Marlena have Sami with a look that told her to be quiet. Her pants were wet, and she was even more uncomfortable. As she started hobbling back towards the stairs she said, “Can you call John? Please? I need to change my clothes.” She stared at the staircase wondering how she was going to climb the stairs again for a clean change of clothes. Her frustration only mounted when the doorbell rang. “Really?”

Sami dialed John’s number and listened as it rang in her ear, while simultaneously running to the penthouse door. Throwing it open, she found Vivian standing there. “Granny Viv!”

“Oh, my G-d child! Stop calling me that,” Vivian replied. “Is your mother home? I needed to speak to her about John’s upcoming birthday.”

Sami glanced back at her mom, and opened the door wider as she said, “She is, but she’s not in a position to—”

Marlena gasped as she tried to breath through the aching pain along her spine. “Sami! Oh, G-d! Call John, now!” Marlena cried, as a contraction hit her hard and fast. “Oh, G-d! Oh–oh… I can’t believe I’ve been in labor for two days! I don’t know if I’m going to make it to the hospital!” The pressure in her bottom was deep and heavy.

Sami wanted to say I told you so, but she felt like her mother could potentially end her life if she did. She kept her mouth shut on that front. “He didn’t answer.”

“Call him again,” Marlena moaned.

Vivian had stepped into chaos. It was obvious that Marlena was in labor. She hung onto the railing to the stairs, bent over as she attempted to breathe through the contraction she was having. Sami was yelling into the telephone at John, and now Brady was on his way down the stairs, one little leg at a time, yelling, “Belle made poop! Belle made a big POOP!”

Sami’s eyes were wide with fear as she hung up the phone, and said, “Dad’s about a half hour away. What do you want me to do, mom?”

“Call the hospital,” Marlena replied. The contraction had passed and she started up the stairs. If this baby was going to be born at home, it would be in a bed and not on the living room floor.

Vivian said quickly, “I’ll take care of Belle.” Marlena stared back at her in momentary shock, watching as Vivian took Brady’s hand in hers, and said to him, “Let’s go check on your sister.”

“Mama?” he asked. 

Marlena continued up the stairs, but behind her she heard Vivian say, “Your mama seems to be having a baby. Now, I’ve done that once, and it was no fun, so let’s go upstairs, my boy and see what mess Belle has gotten herself into.”

“It’s poop!” He said.

“So you said,” Vivian replied. “Keep walking.”

“O’tay, Gwanny Bib,” Brady said.

Vivian looked over her shoulder at Sami, asking, “Him, too? Did you tell him to call me that?”

Sami smiled, shaking her head no. “Dad did.”

“Why is that not surprising?” Vivian muttered, walking up the stairs.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There was a massive fifteen car pileup on the interstate, which had delayed all emergency crews. Sami had her mother breathing through contractions and wiping her brow when John finally entered the bedroom just as another contraction hit. Marlena’s head fell back against the pillow and she sobbed, “I can’t! I can’t! I’m so tired!”

Sami looked up at him with worried  and grateful eyes. Her daddy was there. He’d delivered Belle. He’d been a police officer. He would know what to do. Shrugging out of his coat, he tossed it to the floor as he asked Sami, “Can you see the head?”

“I–I don’t know,” she whispered. “I was sc-scared to look.”

He tried to give Marlena a reassuring smile, as he lifted the sheet covering her as he said, “Okay, lets see how things are going.”

Another contraction started, and Marlena gasped, “No, no, no, no, no! I’m not ready. I’m– oh, G-d!”

“I see the head! Oh, Doc! I see a bunch of auburn hair!” he laughed. “Don’t push, baby! Don’t push. Let me wash my hands and grab some clean towels. Sami, I need rubbing alcohol and a pair of scissors. Now. Hurry.”

Marlena couldn’t even process what he was saying to her because of the pain. She took short gasping breaths, trying to keep herself from screaming. 

Then she felt John’s cool hand on her thigh, and she opened her eyes, staring into his deep blue ones. He smiled at her, are you ready for this? Are you ready to meet our daughter?”

“I’m so tired,” she whispered. “All I wanted was an epidural. I just wanted an epidural… after Belle, I just wanted…”

He chuckled, “G-d had other plans, baby.”

“It’s coming again! Another contraction! John!” she gasped, reaching for his hand.

He laced their fingers together, and he said, “Okay, push, Doc! Push!”

Less than twenty minutes later, with one last final scream, and a push, Marlena delivered a very loud baby girl. Marlena fell back against the pillows exhausted, breathing heavily, as John looked at his daughter in awe, suctioning her mouth, and rubbing her skin vigorously with a towel. Her eyes were a dark blue, and her hair was short copper curls. She wailed and flailed her arms, causing Marlena to open her eyes and stare at her daughter, while John said, “That’s right, baby. Scream. Scream loud, and clear out those lungs.”

Sami stood in the doorway watching the scene unfold in awe. She’d seen it all, and her mother was the strongest woman she knew, and her father… was her hero.

“John,” Marlena whispered, holding her arms out. “Can I hold her?”

“She’s beautiful, Doc. So beautiful,” he said softly with tears in his eyes. He remembered that stormy night in the dungeon of Maison Blanche. He’d made love to Marlena and created the miracle that he held in his hands. Quietly he murmured, “Sami, honey, grab the dental floss, and then clean the scissors with the alcohol. I’m going to need one of those soft flannel blankets too, so I can wrap her up.”

He watched as Marlena started to unbutton her shirt. “Can you unclasp my bra?” she asked, reaching for their daughter. “I want to hold her against me. It’s best for them when their first born.”

He thought about Belle’s birth, realizing he and Marlena had felt that same connection but denied their feelings. He held his daughter in one arm, and reached behind Marlena, unclasping her bra. Sami stopped in her tracks when she came out of the bathroom to find her mother disrobing, but John and Marlena didn’t seem to notice. As soon as her skin was bare, he placed their baby on her chest and then covered them both with Marlena’s shirt.

Taking the dental floss Sami handed him, he tied off the baby’s umbilical cord, and then cut it with the disinfected scissors. Everything else proceeded the way it should. By the time Marlena delivered the placenta, the baby was already rooting for a nipple.

Sami was quiet for a long time. When she finally did speak, it was her typical unfiltered verbiage. “That was amazing, but you’re gonna need a new bed.”

“We need a new house,” John said softly, while he watched his daughter nurse. “Especially if we want another baby.”

Marlena could barely keep her eyes open, as she whispered, “No more baby’s.”

“Maybe just one more,” he said. “A boy to even things out.”

“You’re incorrigible,” Marlena said sleepily.

  Sami leaned over her mothers shoulder, staring at her little sister, as she asked, “Did you guys decide on a name?”

John smiled at Marlena holding their daughter, “We did Peanut. This past year has been difficult, and somehow this little one decided that she wanted to be with us. We were looking at baby names, and we found one that means life. Say hello to Vivian.”

“You’re naming her after Granny Viv?” Sami said in momentary shock.

“That we are,” John said.

“Little Vivie,” Sami whispered in awe. Vivie was still squawking in frustration loudly. She was the most lively, opinionated baby Sami had ever encountered. So different from Belle’s quiet introversion. Touching her baby fingers softly, Sami told her mother, “It’s perfect. She’s absolutely perfect.”

“She is, she is.” Marlena stroked her daughter’s soft cheek as she suckled at her breast, and she counted her fingers. “She’s amazing… she’s absolutely amazing. Oh, and her hair…”

“Looks like we got a redhead in the family, and I must say, I’m getting pretty good at delivering babies,” John said. “Sami, run downstairs, and call 911 again. They should be here—” The pounding on the door downstairs cut him off, and John looked at Marlena with the widest smile, “You ready to go, Doc?”

“Yes.” The baby grunted, and Marlena was so overcome with love, she started crying. Looking up at John, she whispered, “Another baby wouldn’t be so bad, I think.”

“We’ll get to it, beautiful, one day at a time,” he said, kissing her softly.