“John, can you bring Claire’s shoes for me?” Marlena walked down the penthouse stairs, her granddaughter attached to her hips.
“When is Shawn picking her up?” As if on cue, the doorbell rang and Claire squirmed in Marlena’s arms. “Never mind.”
“Dada!”
“That’s your papa, let’s hope he remembered the car seat this time. I am not riding with you two and walking home again. Grandma’s just not in that good shape.”
“Wouldn’t know by looking at you.” John mumbled.
“What was that?” Marlena said as she opened the door.
“I remembered the car seat!” Shawn leapt through the frontdoor, out of breath and his face red.
“Did you run up the stairs? You know Shawn, we do have this thing called an elevator in this building, might wanna use it.”
“I like to keep in shape.”
“Oh, I see that.” Marlena enjoyed teasing the younger Brady. Since Shawn and Belle had married, they’d gotten a lot closer as he’d helped Belle deal with her divorce from John.
“Marlena, don’t let your daughter hear you. If I wasen’t so hopelessly infatuated with two other Black women, I’d give John a run for his money.”
“There is no run. And you’ve got your fathers charm. Her teething gel is in the overnight bag, tell Belle I will pick up the cake for tonight and I guess I’ll see you at the party.”
“I’ll be the doofus in the clown costume unless I can find a clown this last minute.”
“John will do it. He enjoys making a fool of himself.”
“Thank you, Doc, thank you. My day isen’t complete until I’ve had a zinger from you.”
“I think we’re gonna go, let your grandparents work out this tension by themselves without innocent eyes privy to it. Or Claire’s. Say bye bye baby.” Claire sent Marlena and John an air kiss each as John had taught her earlier that day, before Shawn shut the door and hurried into the waiting elevator.
“So…” Marlena turned to see a hopeful John smiling at her.
“I guess this means you’ll be going to?”
“Unless you want me to stay?” He inched closer to where she stood as he spoke.
“I’ll see you at the party.” Marlena held the door open for him and John grabbed his leather jacket as he walked out. He turned and leaned against the doorframe, watching her seductively.
“You know, Marlena, you can kick, scream, throw me out and try to convince yourself that you’re over me… but no matter how hard you try to force yourself away from me, I’m always gonna be here. I’m the love of your life baby, you didn’t choose that and you can’t change it.”
“Goodbye John.”
Belle approached her mother gently as she worked on Claire’s birthday cake. “You know mom, dad is looking miserable… did you have another fight?”
“No, we didn’t.” Belle looked at her mother suspiciously. “Honest!”
“You’re not talking to each other again? I thought you’d gotten over that phase.”
“We’re not not talking, we’re just not talking right now. It’s not as easy as you think it is honey.”
“Mom, Shawn and I spent high school going back and forth every day between this phase and the make out phase. I get that he hurt you, but are you actually going to punish him for the rest of your life? You have a great thing, you are the sole reason I belive in marriage. You went through hell and you survived. Don’t waste this precious time on fights and being apart when what you have is so damn good.”
“Belle, I know you love your daddy, so do I.” Belle turned to look at her mother. “I do, I love him more than anyone could ever understand. I mean, everyone knew John and I loved each other, but I don’t think anyone ever got just how deeply in love I was with him. Everytime he walked into a room, it felt like my heart was back where it belonged. I still feel that way.”
“So then what’s the problem?”
“Because when you love that deeply, the good times are incredible, the sex is amazing and the bad times damn near kill you. He lied to me Belle, about something huge! My best friend lied to me. I nearly died saving him from dying. Again! And he didn’t go quit the ISA or lighten his schedule when I begged him to, no he went out again on a mission to take down a man who’s killed most of the people who’s tried so far. Besides the fact that it’s unbelivably arrogant, let’s not even discuss how insulting it is.” Marlena put four candles on the birthday cake as she looked over at John, who was looking directly at her.
“She’s only turning three, and he was trying to keep us safe!” She removed one candle from the cake as Belle took the lighter from her other hand.
“Oh, you are your fathers daughter.”
“Mom.” Belle turned Marlena around to face her, her back to John as her eyes pleaded with her mother.
“Belle, I love you, but you need to back off. Your dad knows why I can’t be with him. It’s not about us, it’s about him and me. It hurts too much to worry about his life everytime he pulls a James Bond and runs off to save the world.”
“He’s trying to save you.”
“Baby, your daddy’s hero complex is geek level active. I just feel like maybe if I distance myself enough from him then I won’t feel like everytime he goes on a mission that my heart is slowly committing suicide.”
“Is it working?”
“No.” Marlena stood up and looked towards a squeeing Claire before her eyes navigated towards John again. “That’s all I’m going to say about it. Maybe one day I’ll be ready, but right now it hurts too damn much.”
“Gamma! Pictu please?” Claire stood by the couch, her little arms reaching out to Marlena.
“Jump up, baby. Do you wanna pose with me?” Marlena watched as Belle set the camera in position while Claire’s attention wandered.
“Gampy!” Claire smiled towards the doorway where John stood watching his ex-wife and grandchild.
“Dad, why don’t you get in the picture too?” Belle waved him over to the couch.
“Come on John.” John slowly moved towards the couch and sat down. He wrapped his arm around Marlenas shoulder as he whispered in her ear.
“I quit the ISA.” She turned to look at him, speechless as the flash went off.
“Oh christ! Someone close the damn curtains!” John pulled the sleek whine-red covers over his head and buried his head in his pillow.
“Someone’s a little testy today.” Marlena ignored John’s request and pulled the curtains further apart, forcing him to sit up, his eyes closed.
“Doc!”
“John!” She pulled his black silk robe tighter around her body as she picked his scattered clothes off the floor. “Is your hearing bad? You’re screaming.”
John fell down on the bed again and casually laid his hand out towards her. “Do you want coffee?”
“Aspirin, please. How are you up and looking so hot this morning, you were stumbling around just as badly as I was last night?”
“I don’t drink to drown my pain, and my pain threshold is higher than yours. Plus, I know to take pain killers before the actual hangover sets in, not during it, see how that smarter thing works out?”
“Are you going somewhere?” He watched as she pulled her jeans up her slim legs and the way her blouse hung casually around her body, revealing only a hint of her right breast.
“I’m going home to my place. Where there’s no alcohol or hot ex-husbands to accidentally sleep with.”
“What happened last night was not an accident, Doc. We knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Your willpower was stronger than I thought, but even you had to give in to this undying attraction between us.” She quietly buttoned her shirt as he switched to the puppy dog eyes. “Stay. Come on, stay.”
“Belive me, I have to go home.”
“So we had sex. People have sex every day.”
“We don’t.” She gestured between the two of them to mark her point.
“Marlena?” She stopped to look at him. “Come back to bed.”
“I can’t.” She quickly put her mascara and cell phone in her purse as she heard the bed cracking as he got out of it.
“Baby, are you afraid that if you come close to me that you’re going to fall back in love with me?” He gently bit her ear as his arm wrapped around her to turn her around towards him.
“My feelings for you are not the issue.” Marlena said, quickly backing away from him.
“There is no excuse anymore for why we shouldn’t be together. I quit the ISA, we just slept together. You can’t even say that you don’t love me. Whatever the problem is, we’ll work it out together.” He pulled her close and his lips crashed down on hers. She closed her eyes as memories of last night filled both their minds.
—————
He grabbed arm and before she knew she’d been turned around, there it was. That moment. Where every emotion she’d bottled up for the past months came bubbling to the surface. She held onto him for dear life as she mentally apologized to her shrink for the regression she was so completely about to make, and there was no turning back.
__________
She remembered as he gently unzipped her jeans, having tossed her blouse away while somewhere on the other side of his bedroom making their way to his bed. The way he kissed her still gave her chills and made her long for more.
She remembered the way he looked at her as she hovered above him, gently pushing strands of hair away from her face.
She remembered the way his arms wrapped around her as he lifted himself from the bed to join her in an embrace as she rode him gently. Her lips red and swollen from his kisses, her face perspirated with strands of hair clinging to her face. He pulled the sheets around her to keep her from being cold but she didn’t care, and simply leaned down to kiss him in response. Her legs wrapped around him from that position made her sit slightly above him, and she cherished the way his arms felt around her as she stared into his soulful eyes before her lips ended up on his again.
She remembered the way his right hand had rested on her thigh while his left supported him as he leaned down to kiss her again. There was no rush, no urgency, he took his time, finding the places where only he knew she loved being kissed. He quietly and repeatedly whispered in her ear as he made love to her.
She remembered how he brought her to the brink of ecstacy before slowing down again, knowing that this only intensifies her experience.
She remembered the way he had caressed her face as she laid comfortably buried in pillows and his arms. How their swollen lips had met one last time before snuggling closer and drifting to sleep.
He remembered how breathtaking she’d looked when the moonlight hit her face. He was certain in that moment that even the almighty one couldn’t have created something this perfect.
—————
The sound of thunder and rain starting outside ended her trip down last night’s memory lane.
“John, don’t do this to me.” She broke away from him, grabbing her black vest and putting it on over her trendy blouse as she zipped her jeans closed.
“Marlena. Don’t you do this to me.”
“I have to go.” She grabbed her purse and quickly stormed out.
“Marlena. Baby, please.” John pleaded. But there he was, all alone. Again.
— John pressed the damp cloth to his forehead before he picked up his phone and dialed Marlena’s cell phone number. The answering machine picked up and he listened Marlena’s message.
“Hi, you’ve reached Dr Marlena Evans, leave me a message and I’ll get back to you.”
“Hey, baby. Look, I know that you’re scared. I am too. I’m terrified. I live everyday with my past and I struggle to make sure that it doesn’t back to hurt you. But the cure is simple Doc. I love you. I’m madly in love with you. Sweaty palms, racing heart, fully and completely in love with you. I know that to you last night was a … I don’t really know what it was, you stormed out so quickly. But to me, it was hope. I remember every touch, every look and every sound you made. You gave me hope. Everytime we’re together, you give me hope that there’s something purely good in this world. I look into your eyes and I see what the world should be.
I love you. For so many reasons and for all of time. At the end of the day, all that matters to me is you. So prepare yourself baby, because I’m coming for you. I’m going to blow your mind. And when you’re ready, you just let me know, because I’ll be right here waiting. Goodbye Mrs Black, this was your future husband speaking.”
John shut the lights and grabbed his long coat before giving one more glance to the picture taken during their trip to Hawaii two years ago. The thought of Marlena in her designer swim suit made him smile as he made his way to the door. The hard knock on the metal door gave him a rush of emotion only one person had the power to give him and he took a deep breath before opening it. On the other side stood a drenched Marlena, her cell phone still in hand her cheeks red and her breath short as she simply said;
“I’m ready.”
The Jarlena Journal 