Marlena and Roman are driving in the car on their way from the airport to the penthouse after being reunited with the people they love most in the world. Marlena sits in the back seat peering into the front seat at her husband and his ‘fiancé‘. She notices the stolen glances that John and Kate are giving each other. With a look that is a mixture of disgust and sadness she turns to look out the window.
Roman looks at the sadness on her face and tries to discern what is wrong. After a moment he finally speaks. “Doc… what’s wrong?”
She abruptly turns to him with a look of mild shock on her face. “Roman I do believe that is the stupidest question you have ever asked me!”
He sits there dumfounded with is mouth agape at what she just said to him. After a moment she continues with a angry but quiet tone. “A better question to ask Roman is what is right? There isn’t ANYTHING about this situation that is RIGHT!” she says with a slightly raised voice.
Roman glances into the front seat to see if John and Kate noticed Marlena’s little out burst. After a moment he leans closer and continues, “Marlena, lower your voice. Doc… we’re home! What is there to be upset about?”
She looked at him with disbelief clouding her face. “You mean other than the fact that my husband and your wife are engaged to each other”, she spit out through gritted teeth. He sits back and lets out a chuckle. “I don’t see anything funny about this situation Roman!”
“Come on Marlena… you don’t honestly believe that they’re going to want to stay with each other now do you?”
She looked at him with confusion, “Why wouldn’t they want to stay together? It is quite obvious that they love each other!” she says in disgust. Roman sits back with a smile on his face. “Well Roman I can see by that smug little smile on your face that you don’t think so. You tell me… what does it look like to you!”
“Fine Doc… you want to know what I see?” he leans closer “ I see two people who were lonely… and they turned to each other for comfort. That is what I see.” Marlena shakes her head in disbelief and looks back out the window. “Come on Marlena… John has never been one to go without a woman for very long.”
Marlena’s head snapped toward Roman. Her teeth gritted and her eyes blazing fire. “Go to hell Roman. You’ve got room to talk. Your wife is hardly the Virgin Mary.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Roman said snidely.
“Just what it sounded like” Marlena spat. “I mean face it Roman, John hardly went chasing after Kate. He was paralyzed for crying out loud. It sure as hell didn’t take Kate long to jump in and play nurse maid did it?”
Roman went to make a snide remark but John spoke before he got the chance. “Doc… honey how are you feeling?”
Marlena looked at him with love in her eyes, “I’m fine honey”.
John glanced back at her with a smile that stretched from ear to ear, “Fine? That’s it just fine? Sweetheart your home, after months of being put through hell you are FINALLY home! I for one am ecstatic!” Things were quiet for a moment, then John spoke “I bet you can’t wait to get home to the penthouse huh Doc? Things just haven’t been the same without you!”
“I’ll bet!“ Marlena whispered quietly to herself that same look of sadness on her face.
“What’s that Doc?”
“I said I can’t wait, sweetheart…I cant wait.” Marlena sat back and continued the ride home in silence. Marlena’s mind was plagued with thoughts of returning home, the home she shared with John as husband and wife. She was filled with joy at the thought of being home with her husband and children again. She was also filled with fear thinking that her place in their lives might not be what it once was. As the car pulled up to the building where her home was her heart started to race. She raised her hand to the car window, glancing at the home that she never thought she would see again. With fear in her heart and tears in her eyes she took a deep breath and opened the car door. ‘This is it’ she thought to herself ‘this is where I start to reclaim my life. The life that was stolen from me!’
John came around to help her out of the car. She grabbed his hand as he pulled her up to stand at his side. She stared up at him and with a trembling hand reached up to caress his cheek, “I’ve missed you” she stated firmly through her tears. His strong hand reached down to gently wipe away her tears. “I’ve missed you too. Welcome home… my pretty lady!” With hands entwined and Roman and Kate following behind they headed for their penthouse, which could turn out to be a war zone more than a home!
As John opened the door to the penthouse Marlena’s heart caught in her throat. A million thoughts were going through her mind. ‘Is it the same as I remembered it? Are our happy family photos still scattered about the house?’ Marlena finally snapped out of her thoughts when John spoke, “Marlena… are you going to come in?” he said with a bit of a chuckle. When she walked in the door her tears began to fall. It was the same. Everything was just how she remembered it, well almost everything. As she walked through her home she touched every nook and cranny. Her eyes roamed over every piece of furniture and every picture, finally coming to rest on their wedding picture. Letting out a happy tear filled sigh she picked the picture up and gazed at their happy faces.
John walked up behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder as she gazed at the picture, “Happy days hmm?”
Marlena nodded her head, “The happiest day of my life!” she stated firmly. She then picked up the picture of her, John, Belle, Brady and Sami. “Oh… my sweet babies” she cried happily, “I can’t wait to see them”.
“They are going to be on cloud nine Doc. They have been a mess since they thought you died. We all have” he said slightly hanging his head.
Marlena turned in his arms and lifted his chin. She gave him that dazzling smile that was reserved just for him as she spoke to him, “I want to see my babies now John. Lets call them!” John shifted awkwardly turning back to look at Kate then back to Marlena. Marlena noticed John hesitance and spoke to him with fear in her voice, “John what is it? What’s wrong?”.
John didn’t want to upset Marlena on her first night home, so he tried to reassure her, “Sweetheart nothing is wrong. It’s just… it’s been a long day and I’m sure your tired. Why don’t you just rest tonight, and we’ll call them first thing in the morning?” John sounded less than convincing and he hoped that Marlena didn’t pick up on it.
Worried and a little bit upset Marlena just stood there starring at John with her hands placed firmly on her hips. “Wh…what?” John asked her nervously. “I can’t believe that you are going to stand there and lie right to my face. Don’t you know by now that you can lie to me?”
“Doc… I’m not lying…” Marlena was starting to get irritated, “John don’t even try it! I can tell that you are trying to hide something from me. I saw that look that you gave Kate! If something is wrong with my babies I want to know what it is right now!”
After a moment John decided to tell her everything. He took Marlena’s hand, “We better sit down this might take a while…”
Roman started to feel a bit uncomfortable when he finally spoke.. “Listen Kate and I are going to go… you two need some time alone.”
“Roman wait, this involves all of us. Please you and Kate come sit down.” Feeling nervous John just jumped right into the explanation. John told Marlena and Roman everything. About Belle marring Philip, about Sami supposedly sleeping with Brandon inevitable ruining her wedding to Lucas, which made Kate noticeably flinch and about Brady running off with the other boys to rescue Philip who has been taken hostage.
Marlena suddenly felt dizzy after all of the information that had been thrown her way. She stood up and paced back and forth, with her hands on her head “This is INSANE… absolutely insane!”
John felt horrible about overwhelming her on her first night home. He walked up to her and took her in a fierce hug, “I’m sorry honey” he said as he rubbed his hands in comforting circles on her back trying to calm her down.
“It’s not your fault John” She looked up and caressed his face “I made you tell me. By the way I’m sorry I snapped at you before. Its… it’s just that I am a little unsettled that’s all. Do you forgive me?” she said with a sweet smile on her face and tears in her eyes.
“Nothing to forgive! Please don’t worry I will do everything in my power to find Sami and Brady. Isn’t that right Roman?”
“Absolutely, you have nothing to worry about Doc!”
Marlena sits on the couch with John thinking about everything that he told her, as he sits by her side holding her hand while she processes her thoughts.
“John things are such a mess. Sami’s life is in turmoil, and she has disappeared. Our baby girl walked away from the love of her life, to marry someone she doesn’t love. Now her husband is being held hostage in the middle of a war. And the icing on the cake, our son has run off trying to save Philip. Could things possible get any worse?”
Kate hears all of this and is fuming. Roman notices this and walk over to Kate, “Katie what’s wrong?” he says lovingly.
“What isn’t wrong Roman? I mean don’t get me wrong I am beyond thrilled that you are back it’s just that… everything else is in turmoil. Three of my sons are in grave danger. And Marlena is sitting there whining about her daughters broken hearts. Broken hearts can be mended Roman… dead bodies can’t!”
“Katie what’s wrong?” Roman says lovingly. “What isn’t wrong Roman? I mean don’t get me wrong I am beyond thrilled that you are back it’s just that… everything else is in turmoil. Three of my sons are in grave danger. And Marlena is sitting there whining about her daughters broken hearts. Broken hearts can be mended Roman… dead bodies can’t!”
Marlena notices the annoyed look on Kate’s face as she is talking to Roman. She wonders what is going on, so she speaks up “Kate… are you okay?”
With all of the sudden changes Kate is stressed and she takes it out on Marlena, “I’m just peachy Marlena, thanks for you concern!”
Marlena notices the attitude in Kate’s voice and decides to call her on it “Kate… have I said or done something to upset you?”
“I am just worried about my sons Marlena.”
“I realize that… I am worried about my children too…”
Kate whips around to face Marlena with a look of astonishment on her face, “Please Marlena it is HARDLY the same thing, your daughters have screwed up their love lives. My sons are in the middle of a war zone!”
John see the tension rising and tries to step in, “Kate, Marlena why don’t you both just calm down this isn’t going to help the situation.”
Marlena stares at Kate. If looks could kill Kate would be laying in a heap on the floor. Marlena finally speaks, “On the contrary John, I think it would help tremendously. It would sure as hell help to lower my blood pressure about a hundred points. You see Katie here seems to have forgotten that our son put himself in the middle of that same war zone to rescue HER son!”
Kate is now ready to breath fire and she approaches Marlena. John and Roman both see the impending battle and approach their respective wives to pull them apart. John takes Marlena onto the terrace to try and calm her down, and Roman takes Kate to the kitchen. Marlena stands with her hands firmly gripping the railing of the terrace making her knuckles turn white. John walk up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist. “Sweetheart please try to calm down… all this stress isn’t good for you!”
Marlena turns in his arms and stares at him with all the love in her heart. She slowly reaches up to wipe away a stray piece of hair from his eyes. Slowly she runs her hands through his slightly long hair and pulls his head to hers. She stops just as their lips were about to touch, “ I love you… with all my heart and soul” before John can speak she pulls him into a slow but passionate kiss.
Their tongues meet in a whirlwind of love and passion. They stay lost in each other for what seemed like hours. As Marlena slowly began to come alive under his touch, the door bell rang. Marlena pulled back slowly and stared at John with heavy lidded eyes, “We should have had that door bell disconnected YEARS ago”. They both laughed and disentangled themselves from each other.
John lovingly stroked her cheek, “Who ever it is, I will get rid of them” he winked and walked away.
Marlena stood there with a total sense of contentment on her face. She has waited so long for this moment. The moment when she would be back with the love of her life. As she stood there she heard John answer the door and say hello. The next words she heard made her heart stop. “Hi Dad, I was wondering if you heard anymore about the boys?”
Could it be… Marlena wondered. She turned around to look through the French doors. As she peered through she saw the most beautiful site in the world. Marlena stood there with her hand over her mouth to muffle her cries and she spoke softly to herself, “My baby girl…Belle!”
Marlena stood there on the terrace weeping at the site of her beautiful baby girl. She just watched as John and Belle were talking, waiting for the perfect moment to make herself known.
John and Belle stood there immersed in conversation. “I’m sorry that I’m here so late dad… I should have called first. Did I interrupt you and Kate?” Belle said in mild disgust.
John feeling exasperated, “Come on baby…this is your home! You do not need an invitation!”
Belle continued with a look of sadness on her face, “Yeah… well…it doesn’t feel like my home anymore.” John looks at her lovingly and strokes his daughters cheek, while Belle continues, “I just miss mom” Belle says through her tears!
Marlena is in tears as she listens to the two people she loves most in the world. After she hears Belle say that she ‘misses her mom’ Marlena feels that is the perfect opportunity to reveal herself. Without giving any thought to the affect that her sudden appearance might have on her daughter she steps through the terrace doors unheard by anyone and whispers through her tears, “I miss you too.”
Belle feels as though she is hearing things as she looks up at her father, then she whips around to find the angelic voice that was her mothers. When she sees her mother standing there before her, her legs falter, and her father is there to steady her. With his hand holding her shoulders steady he tells her, “Easy honey…easy.”
Belle stood there oblivious to everything around her except the form of her mother that was standing across the room from her. When she finds her voice again, she whispers ever so faintly, ”Mo…mom?” she says barley able to catch her breath, “Oh …my God. Is…is that really you?”
Marlena has tears welled up in her eyes and streaming down her face at the site of her beautiful daughter. A daughter that she never thought she would see again. So filled with joy she walks toward her daughter unable to speak. Marlena just approached Belle nodding her head yes… with a smile from ear to ear and tears dripping from her eyes she held out her arms to her beloved daughter. Belle finally realizes that she is not seeing things. Her mother is really there. With sobs now coming uncontrollably Belle rushes toward her mother and jumps into her arms. Belle was finally back in her mothers arms. The tender loving arms that she has need so desperately these past few months. Marlena is beyond joy as her happy sobs are released after all these months of dreaming of this moment. She wraps her loving arms around her daughter, vowing never to forget how she feels at this moment. Vowing never to forget how it feels to be able to hold her daughter in her arms one more time.
After a few minutes of silence Marlena finally spoke to her daughter that was still wrapped in her arms, “It is… so good… to hold you!” Marlena said through her sobs.
Belle who is still crying holds to her mother desperately, “I can’t believe this. Your really here!” A huge smile comes to Belle’s face as she pulls back from her mothers warm arms and looks at her angelic face, “Everyone thought that you drowned!”
Marlena takes a minute to explain everything to Belle. She tells her about Tony, and how they suspect that Victor and grandma Caroline didn’t make it.
“Oh mom… I’m so sorry… but I am so grateful that you’re here.” She says through her happy tears, “Everyone said that I had to accept your death…but I couldn’t.” She says with a beautiful smile on her face.
Marlena is beyond joy, and she feels positively giddy. She jumps up and down in joy with tears in her eyes, “I have to look at you… I have to…I just have to look at you” she says as she takes Belles face in her hands and lovingly strokes her hair. Marlena pulls herself away from Belle and looks over at John who is standing next to her, and she lovingly touches his cheek. “Look at her John… look at our baby.”
John smiles at Belle. Marlena stares at Belle again not able to digest just how much her daughter has changed in the months that she has been gone. “You look… I don’t know you look different.” Marlena says to Belle.
“I am a mess right now.” Belles says as she looks away feeling a little embarrassed.
“NO! No you are so…beautiful to me honey! So beautiful.” Marlena replies with love, as she looks at her daughter in bewilderment “You just look so… Oh my word you look like your grown up!”
Belle shies away little at her mothers fawning over her… “Well I don’t feel grown up. I don’t know if dad had a chance to tell you what’s been going on the last couple of months…”
Marlena notices her daughters pause “Well no I just got home… but … we were kept apprised of things going on here… it was Tony’s way of torturing us.”
Belle drops her head. Suddenly feeling ashamed that her mother knows what she has done the last few months, “Then… then you know I got married?” Belle says looking back up at her mother.
Marlena nods slightly “I know you married Philip. I was… I was surprised”. Belle looks away again. Seeing Belles need to talk to her mother in private, John excuses himself to give them some privacy. Marlena leads Belle over to the sofa… “Why don’t we have a seat baby girl. I think this might take a while.” Marlena says with a huge grin on her face.
Belle suddenly realizes how much she has needed her mother. Belle lays her head on her mothers shoulder, “Oh mom…I’ve needed you so much!”
Marlena smiles through her tears, “Well I’m here now baby.” Marlena glances over at her wedding photo, “I’m home now… and I’m not going anywhere!” she said more as a fact than a statement as she lovingly stroked Belle’s hair. “I am finally home… where I belong!”
Marlena talked with her daughter for a little while. She tried to help her understand the choices that she has made in recent months. She tired her best to convince Belle that this whole situation with Philip being held hostage and the boys going to rescue him was not her fault. Marlena felt the need to ask Belle if she was unsure of who she loved, since she was still wearing her wedding ring.
In a strong positive voice Belle answered her mother, “ I am NOT unsure mom! I love Shawn…” then her voice suddenly became softer “But I’m married to Philip… and until I talk to him… I have to stay faithful to him.”
Marlena looked at her daughter with pride on her face.
“I want so badly to be with Shawn… to give myself to him. But… every time I look at this ring… it keeps me from acting on those feelings.”
Marlena looked at her daughter with a serious look on her face, “ I am SO proud of you.”
“How…” Belle interrupted, “how can you be proud of me when I married the wrong man? And now he is being held hostage… not to mention the fact that his two brothers along with my brother AND the love of my life are now in danger trying to rescue him. This is all my fault!”
Marlena saw the despair on her daughters face, “NO! This war is not your fault.” Marlena turns Belle to look at her and continues in a soft tone, “And Philip being captured is not your fault.”
Belle reluctantly nods in agreement, “I just want them to get home safely. And as long as I am legally married to Philip I can’t have a relationship with Shawn…if I did that would be committing adultery.”
At Belle’s comment Marlena closes her eyes feeling overwhelmingly guilty at having an affair with Roman, while they were held captive. Marlena shakes off the feeling as Belle continues, “that is why until I can tell Philip in person… I have to honor my wedding vows!”
Just then John walks in unnoticed… “I’m proud of you baby!” he states. Belle walks over to her father and thanks him for the compliment. “Yeah… you’re your mothers daughter alright. “ he says to her with pride. “Once you make a promise you will always do the right thing.”
Marlena gets a look of shock on her face feeling unworthy of the compliment. “Baby I am all to aware of the fact that life tests us in a lot of different ways… and this is a hard test for you.” John continued “Now my opinions about Shawn don’t matter, and I personally don’t think that marring Philip was a mistake. But all of that aside the bottom line is that if you have these feelings you need to do the honorable thing and level with Philip… you owe him that much! Don’t you agree Doc?”
Marlena stands there bewildered not knowing what to say. Belle turns around to hug her mother with a smile on her face, “Of course she does dad. She understands the importance of honoring her vows.” Belle pulls away and looks at a slightly befuddled Marlena, “You taught me by example”
Marlena stutters slightly not really knowing what to say, “You…you know honey…I’ve…I’ve made mistakes in my lifetime.”
Belle blows off Marlena’s admission, ”Yeah…but that was different. When you fell in love with dad you thought he was Roman. YOUR HUSBAND! I mean Stefano totally manipulated you. You’d never cheat on daddy now.” Marlena feels uncomfortable with all the praise and shifts awkwardly as Belle continues. “Which is why I would never hurt Philip by cheating on him with Shawn.” Marlena gives her a brief but awkward smile. “Believe me mom… I know nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes. But the fact that you always taught us how sacred marriage is, really helped me while you were gone.” Marlena looked at Belle then looked down at the ground. Feelings of shame briefly washing over her. She looks up at her husband and walks over to him. “And that’s why I would never hurt Philip. He’s my husband, I married him of my own free will and I would never betray our vows by cheating on him with Shawn. Even if Shawn is the man that I love.”
At that moment Roman and Kate come walking back in from the kitchen. Kate stares daggers at Belle. Noticing this Marlena speaks up, “ I never knew I had so much influence on your views of marriage” Marlena says awkwardly looking over at Roman and Kate.
“Well you never preached to us or anything” Belle says “It was by example. I always knew that you would never cheat on dad, no matter what. “
Roman stares at Marlena as Kate approaches Belle. “But you were MORE than willing to break Philips heart by leaving him for Shawn!” Kate spit out in a spiteful tone. Belle looked at Kate in shock as Kate continued to spew her venom at her “That is if Shawn doesn’t get my son KILLED before you get the chance!”
Belle approached Kate with an attitude that was unlike her, “EXCUSE ME, but YOU were the one that wanted Shawn to go over there and risk his life! You didn’t tell anyone when you found out what he was planning. YOU are the only reason that they are over there right now!”
John, Marlena and Roman saw the impending battle and approached Belle and Kate. Roman spoke hesitantly, “Look why don’t we all just calm down and…” Belle cut him off, “ No… Kate is just upset because Shawn dragged Rex and Lucas in to this!”
“Your damn right I’m upset! Because now three of my sons are facing death because of your IDOITIC boyfriend!” Marlena looks at Kate with contempt at the way she is talking to her daughter, “ The only reason that Shawn wants to rescue Philip in the first place is so he can bring him home in one peace, so you can turn around and ask him for a divorce! Isn’t that terrible civilized of you!”
Roman senses the tension in the room and tries to calm Kate down, “Kate…Kate come on…” but Kate turns to him and cuts him off “NO… no I know that Shawn is your nephew but you have NO idea of the things that he has done while you have been gone.” Kate turns back to Belle, “I am not the only one to blame here… If Philip looses his life because of this so called rescue mission… his blood is on YOUR hands as well as Shawn’s!” Marlena looks at Belle with sadness… and then turns to look at Kate with fury in her eyes.
John walks over to Belle but looks at Kate, “We discussed this Kate. You know that Belle is not responsible.”
Kate, not wanting to look bad in John’s eyes softens her tone and apologizes, “I’m sorry. It was wrong… I just… I am feeling so frazzled.” She looks over at Roman, “It is just wonderful that the two of you are back, but I think that it has just made me feel worse about Rex and Lucas… and Philip. And now there is a possibility that I could loose three of my four sons… and I can’t help but to blame Shawn.”
Marlena didn’t buy that weak attempt at an apology, which she knew was all for John’s benefit. She looked at Kate with a look of disgust as she thought to herself ‘How DARE you sit here and spew your venom at my daughter and then try to make yourself look better with that lame ass apology?’
Then John broke the silence, “It’s all going to work out Kate.” Smiling lovingly at John Kate spoke, “ I just need to get some air”.
As Kate walked to the terrace Marlena could no longer keep her mouth shut, “It appears to me Kate that Shawn isn’t the only one that you blame for the situation your sons are in.”
Kate stops dead in her tracks and turns to look at Marlena with a sad expression in her face, and sadness in her voice, “Marlena… I apologized for blaming Belle.”
Marlena looked at her with seriousness in her gaze, as she spoke, “Yes you did apologize Kate… and I get the distinct feeling that, that apology was as FAKE as the sadness in you voice right now!”
John and Roman looked at each other in shock at the words Marlena just said, then John turned and spoke to Marlena with a slight edge in his voice, “Marlena… that’s enough!” Marlena looked at her husband in shock. She was wondering how it had come to this. Since when would her husband take Kate’s side, and not stand by her… his wife, while she was defending their daughter! Marlena got a weary feeling as she realized that this might not be the blissful reunion that she had hoped for!
Marlena stood there in shock as she thought to herself…”How can he talk to me like that? I can’t believe that he would take Kate’s side over mine. Most of all I can’t believe that he would stand by and let her talk to our daughter that way.” After months upon month of Tony controlling her every move Marlena was damned if she was going to let anybody run her thoughts and feelings… not even John. She thought that it was high time that SOMEONE spoke the truth. She looked at John with anger clouding her eyes and spoke to him with the same edge in her voice, “You know what John… it’s not enough. I am just getting started. How can you just sit there and let this woman… for lack of a better word…talk to our daughter like that?”
John looked at Marlena with a glazed look in his eyes. He could not believe the way Marlena has been acting since she has gotten home. He knew that something had to have happened to her to make her behave this way, she is so different from the sweet soft spoken woman that he married. “Marlena… what has gotten into you? Why are you acting this way?”
“Just because I am finally speaking my mind, something has gotten into me? What about you John? Before I left… no excuse me…before I was held hostage for months on end, you would have NEVER aloud anyone to speak to your daughter like that. So I guess I should ask you the same question, what has gotten into you?”
John shook his head in sadness, this was not how he wanted things to be now that Marlena was finally home, “Marlena, honey I haven’t changed. It’s just that…I have been here… I know what the situation is, and I know where Kate is coming from… that’s all.”
Marlena got angry and turned away from him. Belle, Kate and Roman watched as Marlena and John sat there arguing in front of them. Belle walked over to Marlena and wrapped her arms around her mothers sagging form. “Mom I appreciate that you want to defend me but…”
Marlena cut her off, “No butts Belle. No one and I do mean NO ONE has a right to talk to my daughter like that.” she said staring straight at Kate.
Belle glanced at Kate and then looked back at her mother, “Mom I appreciate that… I really do, but it isn’t necessary. Really, I actually don’t really care what Kate thinks of me.” Belle said with a triumphant smile on her face, which made Marlena smile in return.
Kate saw the exchange between them and heard her name mentioned, which really started to annoy her, “You know… I don’t appreciate being talked about like I’m not even in the room!”
John was getting frustrated at all the arguing going on and blurted out, “That is ENOUGH!”, then he continued in a softer tone, “Come on, this should be a happy day. Roman and Marlena are back with everyone who loves them, not to mention Jack, and Cassie. This should be a celebration… not a battle field!”
Roman nodded in agreement, “John is right. This should be a day filled with happy tears and laughter, not snide comments and rude remarks.” Roman said while looking back and forth between Kate and Marlena. “Katie…why don’t you get your things together and we’ll go back to the hotel?”
Kate just stood there shaking her head, “No!” she said in a slightly irritated tone, “Roman, John I’m sorry but I am not just going to run out of here with my tail between my legs.” Kate slowly walked toward Belle. “I know that I have done things that you are not happy about Belle, and I know that your father wants us to make peace with each other.” Marlena looked over at John who looked down at the ground when he noticed Marlena looking at him. Marlena sent her stare back over to Belle and Kate, who was still talking. “I know that you were upset when you father and I got closer, and you know that your fathers happiness means everything to me. But there is one thing that I can’t get over… and that is the fact that you MARRIED my son when you didn’t love him. And now not only is there a chance that he will be killed… but his two brother might loose their lives as well.”
Belle looked at Kate with a small look of regret on her face, “I never intended for anything like that to happen.”
Kate looked at her with disbelief and spoke to her with a hint of sarcasm in her voice “No of course not, you just wanted to love Shawn Brady… and you didn’t mind breaking your husbands heart to do that.”
“Kate I care about Philip… I never meant to hurt him, ever.“
Kate was getting agitated with Belle’s explanations, “You care about him? You care about him…Belle you promised privately and in public that you would LOVE him and be with him FOREVER!”
Belle had enough of Kate’s insults, “Kate my feelings were confused! Maybe the same way your feelings were confused when you were with my dad…while you were still married to Roman!” That comment took everyone off guard.
They all felt uncomfortable and remained silent, that is until Kate felt the need to defend herself, “That is hardly the same thing Belle. I was Roman’s widow… I NEVER cheated on him… I thought that he was dead…and that is the only reason that I felt that I could move on with your father.” Belle looked a way with a disbelieving smile on face while Kate continued her tirade. “But you KNOW that Philip is alive, and you KNOW that he is in combat, and you KNOW that he is risking his life for his country and for you! Now how devastated do you think he is going to be when he realizes that the whole time he has been building his life around you…YOU’VE been planning on divorcing him?” Kate finally takes a breath and then continues with undeniable venom in her voice, “You know I always knew that Sami was selfish… but she is nothing…NOTHING compared to you!”
Marlena looked at Kate with pure rage in her eyes as she wrapped her daughter in arms and tried to wipe away her tears!
Kate spoke to Belle with venom in her voice, “You know I always knew that Sami was selfish… but she is nothing…NOTHING compared to you!”
Belle begins to cry and Marlena wraps her daughter in her arms, as she whisper to her, “Sweetheart are you alright?”
“Of course she’s not alright. She is upset that I wont let her off the hook for her adultery with Shawn!” Kate said plainly.
Belle whipped around and screamed at Kate, “I NEVER slept with him!”
“You wanted to!” Kate said with equal anger, then softened her tone, “And you will. The whole time that you were planning on doing what you wanted to do with Shawn, you KNEW it was wrong, and you went ahead and you did it anyway… and that…THAT’S unforgivable! What do you think that just because your in love with Shawn Brady that gives you some special right to destroy my sons LIFE?”
Marlena has had enough of Kate taking pot shots at her daughter. Marlena walked over to Kate and with more anger than Marlena has ever felt and she looked Kate square in the eyes…”That is ENOUGH KATE!”
“You would be JUST as angry if it was YOUR son Marlena!”
“You seem to have forgotten that OUR son has put himself in danger to rescue your son! John and I are worried SICK about him. We are worried about ALL of them…but as usual you are only worried about you and yours! Well I will tell you one thing right now…taking out your frustration on Belle wont bring your sons home any sooner. I know Belle better than anybody and I know for a FACT that she never meant to hurt anybody. That’s NOT who she is!”
Kate snapped right back at her, “You need to take another look at your little girl. You’ve been gone a LONG time, and believe me… she’s changed!”
With absolute fury in her voice Marlena spoke, “You need to STEP BACK Kate!”
In the midst of all this arguing no one seemed to notice that Belle slipped out the front door, until Marlena turned to speak to her. She looked around the room in astonishment, “Where did Belle go?”
Kate got a cocky look on her face, “Seems that your ‘mother’s instinct’ isn’t what it used to be, Marlena!”
Marlena felt bad about upsetting Belle, and she was also sick and tired of Kate’s presence, she just wanted to be alone with her husband and get used to being home. “You know what Kate…I have been home all of FIVE MINTUES, and to be quite honest I’m already sick of you.”
Roman took that opportunity to interrupt, “Kate, honey it’s really getting late. Why don’t you gather up your stuff so we can go, and give John and Marlena some privacy?” Roman said as he nodded at Marlena.
“Thank you Roman…I would really like to get settled back into MY home and MY life.” Marlena said with a bit more attitude than was truly necessary.
Kate caught the attitude in Marlena’s voice and decided to ignore it as she answered Roman, “ That sounds good Roman. Just give me a few minutes to pack up my things, and then we’ll go, okay?” Roman nodded, “Sure thing…why don’t I come up and help you!”
John had something’s that he need to settle with Kate, so he interrupted, “Oh that’s okay Roman I will help her. Why don’t you and Doc relax for a little bit… it’s been a long day.”
Roman didn’t seem to mind so he nodded in agreement. Marlena on the other hand was furious and about to protest, when Roman grabbed her arm and yanked her back, and then spoke to Kate and John as they ascended the stairs, “You guys take your time…we’ll be right here.” As John and Kate disappeared Roman turned to Marlena with an angry expression, “Marlena what the HELL is wrong with you? Are you purposely trying to ruin your reunion with John before it even happens?”
Marlena looked at Roman with irritation as she sat on the sofa, “Roman… don’t be dense! I want nothing MORE than to be with John, the way we used to be.”
“Then what is the problem Doc?” , he said as he walked over to sit next to her on the sofa.
“Look Roman I can’t sit here and act like everything is the way it used to be. I can’t pretend that I wasn’t subjected to watching Kate and John’s little porn fest. Maybe you can…but I can’t.”
Roman still doesn’t understand what her problem is, “Marlena I just don’t get it. You are making a mountain out of a mole hill here. Yes John and Kate were together, but it’s over now. We are home, and everything is as it should have been all these months.” He pauses briefly and then continues, “I just don’t get this sudden attitude of yours. And I sure as hell don’t get why you felt the need to rip Kate a new asshole a few minutes ago. What is going on with you?”
Marlena let out a sigh, “I don’t know Roman… I just don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, I’m NOT sorry for what I said to Kate. As far as I’m concerned she deserved it, and then some! I can’t believe that I am saying this but, I feel such… hatred towards her.” Marlena began to weep softly, “Every time I see her… I get this image of her and my husband humping on my living room floor like two dogs in heat.” Roman let out a slight giggle, which Marlena didn’t miss, “I’m sorry I must have missed the joke.” she said starring at him with tears in her eyes.
Roman giggled again, “Doc, I understand what you are saying. That image doesn’t exactly make me all warm and fuzzy either. But you have forgotten something, we aren’t exactly innocent in all this either! I’m sure that I don’t need to remind you of the fact that we…”
Marlena suddenly cut him off, “No… you don’t need to remind me Roman! That is just one more thing to worry about. I can’t continue to lie to John about what happened between us. He deserves better than that from me.”
Roman was getting upset about Marlena’s constant indecision on this subject “Marlena we already talked about this. I thought that we decided that we weren’t going to say anything!”
“No Roman… you decided! You just ASSUMED that I would go along.”
Roman spoke to her with a slightly raised voice, “Damn it Marlena I thought I already explained this to you. It would only hurt John and Kate more if we tell them what happened between us. Why do you want to cause them unnecessary pain?”
Marlena in turn raised her voice, “The truth doesn’t hurt half as badly as it hurts to have someone you love lie to you Roman!”
Roman shook his head in disagreement, “I think your wrong Doc! I’m telling you… the truth would crush them…I still think the best option is to keep the truth to ourselves.”
Marlena just stared at him. With disbelief in her eyes and sarcasm in her voice, “I can’t BELIEVE that you just said that with a straight face! If I remember correctly… you weren’t to tickled when I kept the fact that I slept with John, a secret from YOU, while we were married. If I recall you were so FRIGGN tickled by that lie that you…DIVORCED ME… Roman!”
Roman tried to comfort her but she pulled away. Marlena was sobbing now, all of her fears were finally coming to the surface, after trying to hide them with her anger. “Don’t you see Roman! If I lie to John, and he finds out some other way. It would destroy him and the trust he has in me. I have spent months dreaming of being with him again… and after all those months that dream has finally become a reality.” She started so sob uncontrollably as she tried to finish speaking, “It…would kill me…to be reunited with him…just to…to turn around and lose him…because I LIED TO HIM!”
She covered her face with her hands, trying to stop the tears from falling. She turned away from Roman and headed to the front door! “DOC! Doc where are you going?” he said as he approached her.
She turned to face him as she tired to wipe away the never ending tears, “I need to get some air Roman.”
He grabbed her arm to stop her, “Doc, what am I going to tell John when he asks where you have gone?”
Marlena shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know Roman. Apparently you have become very good at lying…make something up!” she finished at she turned around and slammed the door, leaving Roman there to wonder what was going to happen next!
John and Kate walked back down the stairs and found Roman pacing the floor. John looked at Roman and then looked around for Marlena but he didn’t see her anywhere. Feeling panic rise in his stomach John spoke to Roman with worry in his voice. “Roman…Roman where is Marlena?”
Roman suddenly found himself scrambling to come up with an answer, but he couldn’t. John noticed his hesitance and called him on it. “Roman… are you going to answer me?”
Roman looked at him with worry, “ I… I don’t know where she is John.”
John was getting irritated at Roman’s lack of answers, “Well she didn’t just disappear into thin air Roman!”
“I’m sorry I don’t mean to worry you it’s just that… she didn’t tell me where she was going. She just said that she needed some air… and left!”
John paced around the room rubbing is callused hands on the back of his neck trying to think if he should go and look for her or just give her some time to think. He sighed in frustration as he wondered what to do…”Oh I hope she is alright.”
Kate gave a smug snort, “You really shouldn’t worry so much John. These past few months away have really toughened her up. I for one have never seen her so bitchy.” Roman stood there in silence watching their exchange.
John looked at her with disbelief, “How can you say that? Kate… Marlena and Roman were held HOSTAGE! Now granted Marlena is the strongest woman I have ever meet… but everyone has a breaking point. She is a mess right now. You would be bitchy too if you were gone from your life for years… to come back and find that nothing is the way it was when you left.” John said with exasperation and he plopped down on the couch.
Kate tried to think of something to say so John’s image of her didn’t change, “John I didn’t mean anything by it… it’s just that… I found it odd how she was speaking to me earlier. She was so rude and…”
John was getting angry at Kate’s bad mouthing of Marlena, so he decided to get out of there and look for his wife. He walked toward the desk to grab his coat from the chair. Kate saw the look of determination on his face, and grabbed his arm to stop him, “John… were are you going… it’s very late.”
John looked at her with a thin vale of anger covering his face, “I am going to look for my wife.” He yanked his arm free of her and walked to the door. Before he left he turned around to look at Kate, with wonder in his eyes, “You know… Kate sometimes I feel like I don’t know you at all. You wonder how Marlena could be so rude to you earlier… maybe it was because you were browbeating our daughter.” John hung his head and shook it slightly. Then after a moment he looked back at her. “I really don’t know you at all… do I Kate?”
Kate approached him with tears in her eyes, “John… don’t say that. Next to Roman… you know me better than anyone!”
John shook his head, “I thought so too Kate, but I don’t know anymore. Sometimes I see the sweet, kind and loving Katie that I have grown to care very deeply for, and then other times…”
Kate looked at him with tears in her eyes, “Other times what John?”
John felt badly about what he was about to say, but he meant it, “Other times… I see the cold and ruthless Kate that Sami is always talking about. The Kate who cares about no body but herself!” John sakes his head and looks at Roman…he walks over to him and shakes his hand, “It is great to have you back buddy!”
Roman shakes his hand and gives him a smile, “It’s great to be back. I will let you know if I hear from Marlena.”
“Thanks. I am going to find her and bring her home… where she belongs.” John walked out the door, leaving Kate standing their in a pool of her own tears.
—–
Marlena sat there in the pew… her head cradled in her hands and tears streaming down her face. As she sat there memories flooded her mind. Memories of years gone by… memories of the life she shared with John and their family. She looked up at the alter and a crystal clear image from their first wedding came to her minds eye. A smile came to her face as she remembered standing there…marrying the love of her life. The fact that she thought he was Roman, didn’t even enter her mind… because it didn’t matter. He was her life, her heart and her soul… his name was a trivial point. His name and identity didn’t matter because, she loved his soul! He was everything that she ever wanted, a wonderful father to their children, an excellent lover, her best friend…her soul mate!
Then suddenly different images plagued her mind. Images of herself setting the church on fire, trying to shoot John in the hospital, and lastly an image of John laying her on the altar after the exorcism. That image made her sob slightly… because John had risked his soul to save her.
Her crying jarred her from the constant barrage of memories. She looked up to the cross above the alter and spoke of her confusion. “Dear Lord… I am so confused. I don’t know what to think or feel anymore. These past few years that Tony held me hostage, have really taken there toll on me I guess” she said with a rye laughter. “I have dreamed of this day for so long… the day when I finally would be reunited with my husband and my children. But this day is nothing like I imagined it would be. My children’s lives are in turmoil… my baby girl, Belle…she has put herself in a terrible position. She is married to one man, while she is in love with another…I of anybody knows what that feels like. My other daughter Sami… well lets just say that she is her own worst enemy. I have this terrible feeling that she has wreaked her life beyond repair. When she is hurt, she lashes out and hurts others. So she has most likely done some major damage to other peoples lives.” Marlena stops momentarily to think about everything that Kate said about Sami… and she wonders for a moment if everything that Kate said might be true.
After a few seconds she continues her prayer, “Then there is my son…Brady. He is in the middle of a war zone. I know that he did it to save Phillip… but now we could loose him.” She wiped the tears from her eyes, “Please watch over Brady and the other boys. I must say that I admire Brady for his bravery and his selflessness. He is always thinking of other peoples well being before his own. He is so much like his daddy that way…”
She pauses and rests her right hand on her heart, “Oh John…that is where I need the most help Lord! I am so confused…don’t get me wrong I LOVE my husband, and I want to be with him more than anything in this world. That has NEVER been an issue. The problem is…I don’t know where we stand right now. I never expected to come home and find him engaged…I wasn’t prepared for that. I probably should have expected it I guess. He is a wonderful man, any woman would be lucky to have him by her side…I know that I have been truly blessed to have him as my husband.” She paused to look down at her wedding ring that was no longer there…and she sighed, “I don’t understand why I feel this way Lord! I told him that if anything happened to me and I was gone forever… that he should move on. I guess in my heart…I just never believed that he would or could move on without me.” She let out a small snort, “How selfish is that. I know that I am being selfish, but I cant help it. John is my whole life. I always assumed that when I came home things would go back to the way they used to be… but it is painfully obvious that they can’t.”
Marlena was crying heavy sobs now…the reality was finally setting in. The reality that her life was no longer as it was meant to be. Her life was no longer with John… the way she thought it would ALWAYS be! She looked back up at the cross, “I know that John is in love with Kate…he wouldn’t have asked her to marry him otherwise. I know what I have to do God… but it is going to kill me inside. I don’t know how to live without him.” She was sobbing uncontrollable now, trying to speak in between her sobs, “I need your help Lord…I need your strength if I am going…to let John…go!” She lowered her heard to try and slow the tears that were poring from her eyes.
She suddenly lifted her head when she heard him speak, “What If I don’t want you to let me go?” She turned around and saw John standing beside the pew…with sadness on his face and tears in his eyes.
“I need your help Lord…I need your strength if I am going…to let John…go!” She lowered her heard to try and slow the tears that were poring from her eyes. She suddenly lifted her head when she heard him speak, “What If I don’t want you to let me go?” She turned around and saw John standing beside the pew…with sadness on his face and tears in his eyes.
Marlena couldn’t help but to stare at John, he had one lone tear running down his cheek. She had never seen him look so sad and helpless in all the years that she has known him. After staring at him a moment longer she snapped out of her fog. “John…how long have you been here?”
John nodded his head at her as a gesture to move over so he could sit next to her. He groaned as he bent to sit down, his back in excruciating pain. Marlena stood to grab him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and eased him into the pew. Sitting down next to him she lovingly rubbed her hand over his back “John…honey you should be home…resting.”
John nodded his head trying to shake the excruciating pain from his mind, “I was worried about you Doc. When I came downstairs you were gone, Roman had no idea where you had gone…”
Marlena wiped the tear from his face, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to worry you. I just needed some air.” She gave him a wan smile.
John nodded, “You didn’t think that I would find you here…did you?”
Marlena shrugged slightly, “How did you find me?”
John let out a slight giggle, “Well it wasn’t easy. I went to every other place I thought you might go, the park…our pier. I just ended up here, after a while. I figured that you might… need some guidance.” He nodded up towards the cross.
Marlena followed his nod and looked at the cross, suddenly she remembered the question she asked that John never answered, “John you never answered my question, how long have you been here?”
John inhaled deeply. He felt bad intruding on her private contemplation with God, but he had to be honest with her, “I arrived here…shortly after you did.”
She looked at him with a slight shocked expression on her face, “Then… then you heard everything that I said?”
John nodded, “I’m sorry Doc… I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your prayers. It’s just that I was…so worried about you, and when I walked in and saw you sitting here…I was so relieved to see you…I just couldn’t force myself to leave.” She nodded and looked away. An eerie silence filled the church. They were both not used to being together again, and it made for a nervous tension between them.
Marlena was the first one to break the silence, “Strange isn’t it.”
John looked at her as she stared straight ahead. “What’s strange Doc?”
Marlena sighed slightly, “This whole situation…us! I mean we have known each other and been in love with each other for what…almost twenty years. And here we are acting like two nervous teenagers on their first date. There is this nervous tension between us, that is so thick you could cut it with a knife.”
John looked away from her for a moment, he could see how lost and alone Marlena felt. He wanted desperately to make her feel loved and safe, but he wasn’t sure how or even if he could do that for her anymore. He felt so much guilt for the pain that she is feeling right now, he wasn’t even sure if Marlena wanted his comfort. He took a deep breath and stared straight ahead as he spoke to her, “You must…you probably hate me right now.”
Marlena abruptly turned to face him with a horrified expression on her face, “John…how could you ever think such a thing! I could never hate you.” She stroked his hair and ran her hand down his cheek, “John why would you think that I hate you, honey.”
John let his tears flow freely as he faced her, “Because this whole situation is my fault. Everything that happened to you is…”
Marlena cut him off, grabbing his face in her hands, “Don’t even say it John…what happened to me is NOT your fault!”
John nodded his head and spoke to her with his voice slightly raised, “YES… it is Doc! If I would have been stronger, I could have helped you when that wave hit. If I would have fought harder… my demented, BASTARD of a half brother, never would have taken you hostage…AGAIN! And if…if I would have kept searching…You would have been home months ago.” John started to cry softly from the tremendous guilt that he felt.
Marlena didn’t blame John for all of that. However she was hurt by the fact that he had given up searching for her so quickly, but she wasn’t so hurt that she wanted him to feel all this guilt for what had happened to her. She stroked John’s hair again, as she spoke to him softly, “Oh… my dearest love. You are many…many things…but superman you are not!” She grabbed his chin and turned his head so she was looking him in the eye, “I don’t blame you for any of that honey! John…for the love of god…you were paralyzed! You risked your life saving the people you loved from that island. You risked everything…to make sure we were all safe.”
John snorted, “A lot of good that did you. Not to mention Roman, Cassie, Caroline…”
Marlena cut him off, “John stop this…it’s not your fault. Some things are out of your control.”
They talked for a while longer about what happened to Marlena and the others. Marlena did the best she could to ease his guilt. She decided to change the subject to the fact that John was walking, and how he seemed to be making a miraculous recovery. “I just can’t believe that you are walking.” She said through her happy tears, “You must have been in so much pain, honey!”
John nodded absently, he wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready to tell Marlena about his drug addiction…not yet. “Yeah, it has been a real…struggle Doc. But… Kate was a big help!”
Marlena gasped at the mention of Kate’s name. She had another nauseating flashback of the two of them having sex on the living room floor. She covered her mouth with her hand, forcing herself not to cry. John saw Marlena forcing herself not to cry at the mention of Kate’s name. He knew it was just a matter of time before they had to have this talk. He eased his large hand onto Marlena’s back and began to make comforting circles. “Marlena I think we need to talk about this… situation.”
Marlena sighed deeply, “I would rather not… but I know that we need to… resolve this.”
John felt uneasy at that word…resolve. “What do you mean resolve…Doc? There is nothing to resolve! “
Marlena looked him in the eye, “John, you and Kate are engaged to be married.”
John shook his head, “No… we WERE engaged to be married! But you are home now!”
Marlena wiped the tears from her eyes, “Honey… just because I am home, doesn’t mean that your feelings for…Kate…are going to disappear.” Marlena began to sob, as did John.
John grabbed both of Marlena’s hands in his and struggled to talk between his heavy sobs, “Baby… please you have to believe me…if I thought for…one SECOND that you were still alive… I would have NEVER…”
Marlena cut him off, “I know…I know that John.” Marlena felt her own guilt wash over her. Marlena tired to lighten the mood a little, “Hey… how many times can you expect your wife to come back form the dead!”
John shook off her lame attempt at humor, “Marlena I know how hurt you are that I moved on with Kate.” Marlena shook her head no, but John grabbed her face and looked her in the eyes, “Don’t lie to me Doc… you were never very good at it before…and you still aren’t. Listen to me…I do… care about Kate… but it doesn’t even come CLOSE to the love I feel for you sweetheart!”
Marlena looked John in the eyes, with a mixture of love and pain, she stroked his cheek “Honey I would say that you more than care about Kate. John… you were going to marry her. You don’t marry someone you care about. You marry someone because you…you…love them!” Marlena let her hand drop from John’s face and stood from the pew. She walked past John and walked up to the alter.
John struggled to stand. After finding his balance, he walked over to her and tentatively placed his hands on her shoulders. “Doc… come on. Let’s go home and talk about this some more.”
Marlena wiped her eyes for what seemed like the millionth time since she had gotten home. She spoke to John, her voice barely above a whisper, “No”
John shook his head thinking that he has misheard her, “No?”
Marlena turned to face him, “No…John I can’t go home with you.”
John felt an incredible fear creeping into his heart as he spoke to her with urgency as he began to cry, “Marlena… honey come on please come home with me. Everything will be alright…you will see. I promise I will make it right. Just please…PLEASE don’t walk away from me. Honey…please.” John began to cry uncontrollably. He started to shake from the torrent of tears that were now running down his face, and the withdrawal his body was going through. In utter despair he dropped to his knees.
Marlena continued to cry, as she saw John collapse onto his knees in front of her. Marlena stroked the top of his head and then knelt in front of him. She grabbed his face, and placed a light kiss upon his forehead, “John…Baby please don’t cry… it’s going to be okay! I promise you it will. It will just take time.”
John looked into her eyes, “We have already lost so much time. I thought you died…but you came back to me…again!” John ran his hand along Marlena’s face, trying to memorize every inch of her, before she slipped away again. John continued after a moment, “Please…I can’t loose you again…it will kill me!”
Marlena knew what John was thinking, he thought that she didn’t want him anymore. The truth is that she thought John didn’t want her anymore. But she can see just by looking at him now how much he loves her. And she loves him beyond words, it would just take time… time to adjust to all the changes. She wanted to reassure him, to make him believe that in the end…everything would work itself out, even though in her heart she wasn’t sure of that at all. Marlena put her index finger under John’s sagging chin and lifted it until their eyes locked on one another. “I will admit that I have been through hell these past few years, and I know that you have too. Tony did his damndest to break my spirit, and honestly he almost succeeded. But there is one thing that he couldn’t do.” John looked at her with questioning eyes, as she continued, “Tony…nor any other force on this earth could ever…EVER…take away my love for you. My love for you runs through me like my blood runs through my veins. Please believe me when I tell you that you are NOT going to lose me. I am not going anywhere. But sweetheart, we can’t just pick up where we left off…”
“Why Doc…I want to…I want to be with you”
Marlena smiled, “I know…I would love nothing more than to be with you…just like we used to be. But John… it’s going to take time…a lot has changed while I have been gone. We can’t ignore that.” Marlena gathered her wits about her. She rose to her feet, grabbing John’s hands to help him stand.
John finally stopped his tears and spoke to her, “So… your not coming home…are you?”
Marlena shook her head and spoke through her tears, “No… at least not right now. I will stay with Belle for the time being, that way we can spend some time catching up. If you want to talk…you can reach me there…okay?”
John nodded mindlessly, trying not to cry. He felt as though he was loosing her all over again. Marlena touched his cheek for a moment, looking into his eyes. After a few seconds she let her hand drop away, as she began to walk away from him. John turned and watched her walking away. He struggled to talk to her, and show her all the love he felt for her in four simple words, “I…Love You…Doc!”
Marlena heard his declaration and stopped in her tracks. She turned to look at him, and saw the tears streaming down his face. She could see his heart breaking just by looking into his eyes. Before she could stop herself she ran to him and leap into his arms. She grabbed his face and crushed her lips to his. Their tongues collided with each other with a desperate need. John held Marlena to his chest, for fear that she would disappear. They finally broke the kiss when the need for air over took their need for each other.
Marlena pulled back slightly and looked into John’s eyes. “I love you with everything that I am. I HAVE never…and I WILL never stop loving you. That’s a FACT!” They both smiled at the familiar phrase. Marlena kissed her finger tips and placed them upon John’s lips. Then she turned abruptly and sprinted from the church. John struggled as he made his way back to the pew, and sat down. He sighed heavily as he looked up toward the heavens. “I am losing her…all over again!”
A week has passed since Marlena and John last saw each other at the church. John has secluded himself in the penthouse. He has been in excruciating pain, both physically and emotionally everyday. Since no one, not even Kate, knows that John is still using illegal drugs, he cant bring himself to go out in public, because he has been on a constant high ever since that night that Marlena left him standing all alone, at the alter of that church. His mind had been occupied by two things lately, rescuing the boys from their captivity, and trying his damndest to get through to Marlena. They have talked to each other a few times on the phone. And John has sent Marlena lilacs everyday, accompanied by notes or letters which profess his love, and devotion to her and their marriage.
Marlena is sitting on the sofa at Belle’s loft. She is wrapped in a throw blanket looking at the family photo album. Belle comes down the stairs and sees her mother staring dreamily at the photo album for what seems like the hundredth time since she had been staying there. She walks over to her mother and places a kiss on the top of her head, “Call him mom!”, she says in a flat but loving tone.
Marlena looks at her with genuine wonder on her face, “Call who?”
Belle turns around and looks at her, “Hmmm let me think..” Belle places her index finger over her lips as she pretends to contemplate Marlena’s question, “Hmmm… DAD! That’s who.”
Marlena shakes her head no and goes back to perusing the photo album. “Mom come on… you know you miss daddy. I don’t know why you are putting yourselves through this hell.”
Marlena drops the album and looks at Belle, “First of all… this was my idea not your fathers. So I am not going to call him every five minutes. Secondly of course I miss your daddy… but honey we both need some time to… figure out what we want.”
Belle sighs,” Well it seems to me as though dad has been quite clear about what he wants.”
Marlena was getting frustrated with this discussion, “Belle…” Marlena was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.
Belle looks at her mother with a smirk on her face and talks to her as she walks over to answer the door, “Oh my… I wonder what that could be? Could it possibly be the DAILY delivery of lilacs for one Mrs. Dr. Marlena Evans Black?” Belle said while she was standing at the door but looking at her mother.
Marlena has an amused smile on her face, “Answer the door smarty pants!” Marlena said as she let out and excited giggle.
Belle shook her head and laughed in return as she answered the door, “Hi Josh!” Belle said laughing. “Hi Belle, I have…” Belle jumped in, “Let me take a wild guess…you have a delivery for Dr. Marlena Evans Black?” Josh nodded his head and Belle continued, “And your tip has already been taken care of…am I right?” Josh let out a laugh, “You are getting good at this Belle… I wish all of my deliveries were this easy!” They both laughed as he handed her the package. Belle waved goodbye to Josh, “Bye…I’m sure I will see you tomorrow.” she said as she closed the door. Belle walked toward her mother while inspecting the package, “Oh mom… I see something extra here!”
That got Marlena’s attention, “Really…what is it?” she said as she grabbed for the package and Belle pulled it away.
“Gee mom a little anxious or what?” Belle said laughing.
Marlena looked at her, “Well I do believe it is for me, nosey!” Marlena grabbed the package from Belle. She smelled the lilacs for a moment with a huge smile on her face and then noticed that there was a black box nestled in the flowers along with her usual card. “Oh my!” was all she said as she pulled the box from its hiding place.
Belle watched her mothers face light up, “Boy…dad sure knows how to get to you doesn’t he?”
Marlena nodded as she wiped away a tear from her eye, “Yes…he most certainly does!”
Belle saw the far away look in her mothers eyes as she settled onto the sofa to read her latest love letter from her husband, “I will give you some privacy.”
Marlena looked at her daughter with motherly love shinning in her eyes, “Thank you baby girl.”
Marlena settled herself on the sofa as she held the card in one hand and the black box in the other. She sat there contemplating which one she wanted to open first when she saw that there was writing on the back of the envelope which said, “Read this BEFORE you open the present Doc!” She let out a hearty laugh, “You know me so well…don’t you my love!” She sat the box on her lap and opened the card. She put her index finger to her lips trying to stop the happy cries that were trying to escape as she read the letter her husband sent.
My Dearest Love,
Baby…I know that you are hurting right now. I know you feel that everything that you fought so hard to get home to is gone…but I am telling you that isn’t the case. All I am asking for is a chance…a chance to prove that I love YOU!
You know that from the first day that I saw your beautiful face…I knew…I KNEW that we would be together FOREVER! Honey I deserve at least the chance to try. Give me this chance and I will prove to you that your doubts are wrong.
I promise you that I will never break your heart and I will do my best never to make those gorgeous eyes cry. Marlena you are my life’s partner… and I would rather die than to live without you…you know that! Honey you have all of me…heart, mind and soul! I have NEVER loved anyone the way I love you. And there is no one on this earth that could ever love me the way you do. Please…I beg of you…don’t let me lose you all over again! For this time…it would surly kill me. Baby…don’t throw away this second chance that God has given us. I promise I will prove to you that you are the ONLY woman that I love with all my heart… if you give me the chance!
Your Forever Love,
John
P.S. you can open the box now!
Marlena wiped the cascade of tears from her eyes,” Oh John…the things you can do to me with the words you say, and now a gift.” Marlena took a deep breath to prepare. After a moment she opened the box and gasped slightly, “Oh John…my engagement ring…I can’t believe that you kept it.” She let out happy giggles as she took the ring out of the box and examined it. A piece of paper in the box caught her eye. She looked at the paper and realized it was another note from John., and she read it.
Marlena,
I was hoping that you would want this back on your finger…where it belongs. I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it after I thought you died. And now I know it was because it was meant to go back to it‘s rightful owner. I hope it makes you as happy as it did the day I placed it on your finger. I also have your wedding band. But if you want that back…I will be the one to put it back on your finger! I Love You… Pretty Lady! ~John~
Marlena continued to cry. She looked at the ring, and smiled as she placed it back on her ring finger. She kissed the ring and closed her eyes, ”Oh John…Honey I love you…so much.”
Belle heard her mothers soft cries and decided to come and see if she was okay. Belle walked down the stairs and saw her mother sitting there, she had her hands clasped together at her mouth and her eyes closed, “Mom… are you alright?’ Belle said in a worried voice.
Marlena nodded, “I am fine baby girl…better than fine! I am great actually!”
Belle looked at her quizzically, “You don’t look great. You’ve been crying.” Belle sat next to her mother on the sofa.
Marlena looked at Belle and stroked her cheek, “They are happy tears honey.” Marlena took her left hand and showed it to Belle.
“Mom…your engagement ring!” Belle took her mothers hand and stared at it for a moment, “I was wondering when dad was going to give it back to you.”
Marlena looked at her in astonishment, “You knew that he had kept it?”
Belle nodded, “Of course he kept it, he showed it to me when Hope gave it back to him. He said that he would give it to me one day. Because it was a symbol of the undying love that my parents had for each other.” Belle said as she began to cry at the emotional memory, which also made Marlena cry.
Marlena cleared her throat, “Why…why didn’t daddy just give it to you then?”
Belle smiled at her, “Because he said that he couldn’t part with it right away. He has worn it on a chain around his neck since the day Hope gave it too him.” Belle saw her mother smile as that image filled her heart with even more love for John. Belle interrupted her mothers thoughts, “So you are wearing your ring…what does this mean? Do you believe that dad loves you now?”
Marlena looked at her daughter, “Oh baby girl…your fathers love for me has never been in question. I know that he loves me, just as much as I love him.”
Belle saw that her mother was over thinking things again, “I’ll tell you what mom. Why don’t we go out to lunch. You haven’t been out of this apartment since you got home. I want to take advantage of this good mood your in, before you find something else to worry about.”
Marlena stood up with a determined smile on her face, “Your right! We should go out.” Just then the door bell rings again. Marlena walks over to get it while talking to Belle, “Besides honey…there is absolutely nothing that could possible spoil the wonderful mood that I am in today.” She said as she waved her left hand in the air showing off her engagement ring, which caused Belle to laugh with delight. Marlena turned and opened the door expecting another bouquet of flowers from her husband. But what she saw at the door was defiantly NOT what she expected…”Sami!”
Sami stood there staring at her mother for the longest time. Marlena just stared at her daughter, holding herself back from the urge to grab her and hold her close to her heart and never let go. Marlena inched closer to Sami, as she knew that Sami was overwhelmed at the sight of her “dead” mother! Marlena tentatively reached her hand out to stroke Sami’s face, when she saw that Sami didn’t back away, Marlena’s slender hand made contact with Sami’s tear soaked cheek. Marlena smiled, “Oh…my Sami girl!”
Sami let out a huge sob and leapt into her mothers arms, “Oh mommy! It’s true…it’s true you really are alive!”
Marlena stood there rocking her sobbing daughter in her arms, “It’s true honey…I am back… and I’m not going anywhere!”
Marlena, Sami and Belle sat there talking for a while. Marlena got Sami up to speed with everything that happened while being held hostage at the castle! Sami sat there and tried not to ask to many questions, because she didn’t feel like being drilled on her recent behavior. However it isn’t in Sami’s nature to sit there and be totally silent, and she couldn’t stop herself from asking her next question, “Mom…why are you here…and not with dad?”
Marlena looked at her with a puzzled look, “Because Sami…I thought it would be a little crowed in the hotel room with me, Roman and Kate!”
Belle laughed at her mothers comment, but Sami stared at her mother with an un-amused look, “Mom! Come on you know what I mean!”
Marlena let out a heavy sigh, “Yes Sami I know exactly what you mean…and you can forget it! I haven’t seen you in what…two years almost! And after all that time you are STILL stuck on something that is NEVER going to happen.”
Sami looked down at the ground with a wounded expression, to which Belle rolled her eyes. Marlena sat next to Sami and lifted her chin so their eyes meet, “Sami…honey you know that a part of me will always love your father. But we are not IN love. We will never be together the way you want. And the sooner you except that the better off you’ll be!”
Sami angrily wiped her eyes and rose from the sofa, “Fine I get it okay!” Sami paced around the room, when she suddenly stopped, “Well then, tell me this! Why are you here at Belle’s loft, and not with John…the love of your life?” Sami finished in a snide tone. Marlena looked away and Sami got a evil smile on her face, “What…trouble in paradise?”
Belle rose from her seat, “Sami…shut up! You know you haven’t seen mom in years and the first thing you do is try to upset her.”
Sami looked at Belle with that ‘Who Me’ look that Sami always gets when she is hiding something, “Gosh Belle I just asked a simple question. “
Belle shook her head, “Simple question my ass Sami. You just want to cause trouble… as always!”
“You know Belle why don’t you worry about yourself instead of bothering your self with my motives. Don’t you have a husband… and a boyfriend in the middle of a war zone? Seems to me that you have enough problems of your own.”
Belle looked at Sami with shock, “You’re a fine one to talk SAMI! Why don’t you think about your own love life instead of grilling mom or me about ours. Why don’t you fill mom in on how you slept with Brandon the night before your wedding to Lucas?”
The girls kept bickering back and forth with each other for what seemed like hours. Marlena sat there rubbing her temples feeling her good mood from earlier quickly fading away, as her daughter kept bitching back and forth, “Belle… you know that Kate set me up…”
“ENOUGH!” Marlena yelled! Both girls stopped immediately and looked at their mother. Marlena looked at them with tears in her eyes. “Do you two have any idea how much it hurts me to see you fighting like this…do you?” Both girls look at each other and then back at their mother.
They went and sat down beside their mother, Sami rubbing her hand over Marlena’s back, “I’m sorry mom. I don’t want to upset you…but I would like to know why you are here… and not at home! What’s wrong?”
Marlena sighed heavily, “Nothing is wrong Sami! John and I just need some time… to figure out what we want.”
Sami looked honestly confused, “I’m sorry, maybe I am being dense here but…what is there to work out?” Sami looked to Marlena who rolled her eyes at the question. Then Sami looked to Belle, who was staring wide eyed at her. Sami nodded her head in understanding, “Oh I see…Kate!” Sami said in disgust! Sami stood up and started to pace the room, “Urggg I can’t STAND that woman…she is such a…such a…”
Marlena looked at her, “Such a WHAT Sami?”
Sami and Belle looked at each other and spoke in unison, “BITCH!”
Marlena looked at her daughters in shock, “Isabella! Samantha!” Belle shook her head, “Sorry mom…but this is one thing that Sami and I are in TOTAL agreement on. Kate has changed since you have been gone. She has been all over dad like a cheap suit. Personally I think she used his grief over you to her advantage, and moved in on him like a vulture circling it’s prey!”
Marlena looked at Belle with sadness in her eyes at the mention of John and Kate together.
Sami took that moment to chime in, “Not to mention the fact that she set me up, to make Lucas think that I slept with Brandon!”
Belle interrupted her, “ Actually THAT hasn’t been proven yet.”
Sami looked at Belle with hurt in her eyes, “Why is it that no one EVER believes me?”
Belle let out a small laugh, “I can’t BELIEVE that you can ask that question with a straight face!”
Sami was about to rip into Belle when Marlena interrupted, “Okay stop! Before you two started arguing Belle and I were about to go to lunch… why don’t we do that! Before I totally lose my appetite.”
Sami let out a laugh, “ I know what you mean mom…when ever anyone mentions Kate’s name I instantly feel like upchucking!.”
Sami started to laugh as did Belle, Marlena didn’t seem amused, “SAMANTHA!”
Sami and Belle continued to laugh. As they walked to the door Belle spoke in between her laughter, “Now come on mom… you have to admit THAT was a good one.” Belle finished as she slapped Sami a high five.
Marlena looked at her girls and began to laugh with them. “Okay…so it was funny.” Marlena wrapped her arms around both of her daughters shoulders as they all laughed, while walking out the door. Marlena began to laugh harder, “It was damn funny!”
Later the same day John was sitting in the penthouse looking at the package that had just arrived for him. He sat there with tears in his eyes. The thought of what he was looking at tore at his heart. He held a PDA in his left hand and a note in the other. He read the note over again:
My Dearest Brother,
This is what your future holds! Enjoy!
~Tony!
John took the note and ripped it to shreds. He stood and lifted his left arm to slam the PDA against the wall… then suddenly he stopped himself! He gathered his wits and then stared at the desk…walking as best he could over to it. He saw the vile of drugs and the needle sitting there as though they were calling to him. He grabbed the vile and the needle. After filling the needle with more drugs than he normally took he jammed the needle into his thigh… without a second thought. He starred at the phone contemplating his next move. With a deep breath he lifted the phone from it’s cradle and dialed the number. After a few rings the recipient picked up the phone, “Hello?”
John took a deep breath, “Meet me at Salem Place in twenty minutes!”, John barked out as a demand more than a request and hung up the phone. John washed up, and changed his close and left to go to Salem Place!
About a half hour later John was sitting there waiting for his companion to join him. John looked at the PDA…anger flushed his face! John was wrapped in his anger and didn’t hear the footsteps that were approaching. John was lost in his anger until he felt someone grab his shoulder, “John?”
John wiped around and saw Roman standing there. John’s eyes shot daggers at him, “Are you unable to tell time Roman? I said twenty minutes!”
Roman shot daggers back at him, “What crawled up your ass today?” J
ohn shrugged off his comments, “Roman I’m not in the mood. You and I have a problem!”
Roman sat at the table across from John, “Well it’s obvious that YOU have a problem, where do I come in?”
John gave out a grunt, “This is where you come in!” John pulled out the PDA and shoved it in Romans face.
Roman stared at it, “What the hell is that?” Roman took it from John and just stared at it.
“There is a very interesting video on there Roman. Why don’t you watch it …and then you will see where you fit into my problem!”
Roman tentatively took it from John’s hand. Roman sat there watching the video. As he continued to watch the video his eyes grew wide with horror at what he was seeing. When the video finished Roman sat there dumbfounded not knowing what to say to John.
John just stared at him, “Well?”
Roman hung his head for a moment and then looked back at John, “I…I don’t know what to…say John.”
John looked at him with no clear expression on his face, ”Roman… when you got home… You assured me…that THIS…” John grabbed the PDA and waved it in Roman’s face, “you assured me this wasn’t a possibility!”
Roman just shook his head, “John…just calm down a minute!”
John stood from the table with such a force that his chair went flying backwards. John was in a fit of rage that he had never been in before, “I will NOT calm down Roman! I am sick and tired of this SHIT! I am putting a stop to it for once and for ALL!”
John stormed off and Roman ran after him and grabbed his arm to bring him to a halt, “JOHN! Don’t go off half cocked! Let sit together and work this thing out!” John stopped and caught his breath. After claming down John and Roman walked back to their table.
They sat there quietly until John broke the silence, “Roman I know what I have to do…and I am going to do it. But…there are a few things I want you to be aware of first!”
John and Roman sat and talked for about an hour. John stared intently at Roman, “Roman do you understand what I’m saying!”
Roman shook his head in acknowledgement, “Yes John but…what are you going to say to Marlena?”
John hung his head, “I’m NOT telling her!”
Roman looked at John with his mouth agape, “JOHN! How can you not tell her! You can’t lie to her about what‘s going on!”
John looks skyward as if he is looking for something, Roman looks at him as though he has lost his mind, “John…what the hell are you doing?”
John keeps looking while talking to Roman, “I am just looking for the lightning that is bound to strike you!”
Roman snorted, “Okay I have no right to talk about keeping secrets.”
John looks at him in wonder, ”Gee…you think! I have told you my reasons for doing what I am going to do…I really don’t care whether or not you like them!”
Roman pats John on the shoulder, “John…are you sure about this! I know how hard this is going to be!”
John sadly, “Yeah…I’m sure Roman! But…it’s…it’s the only way to make things…right!” John looked Roman in the eyes, “I can count on you?”
Roman was hesitant at first, “Yes…I give you my word!”
John and Roman were engrossed in their conversation when John glanced over Roman’s shoulder and just stared, his conversation all but forgotten.
Roman snapped his fingers in front of John’s face, “John…earth to John!” Roman gave up the effort of trying to get John’s attention and followed John’s gaze to see what had him so memorized. After a moment Roman saw what John was staring at, “Uh Oh!” Roman took a deep breath, “Are you really sure about this!”
John looked at Roman, “No…but I don’t have a choice! It’s the only way.”
Roman was about to reply when he heard, “DADDY!” He turned and saw Sami approaching with Marlena and Belle not far behind! Roman glanced at John, “Show Time.”
Roman sat there at the table catching up with Sami and Belle, while Marlena and John sat there in silence across the table from each other. Every once in a while they would steal glances at each other hoping that the other didn’t notice. During one of these glances John noticed that Marlena was wearing her engagement ring. He smiled with joy, but that smile faded quickly when he remembered what he had to do. He wished with all his might that he could do this some other way, but for the life of him he couldn’t think of anything. He was lost in thought when Belle tapped his shoulder, ”Dad…did you hear me?”
John shook his head clearing his mind, “Uh…no Izzy…sorry what were you saying?”
Belle gave him a faint smile, “I asked if you have heard anything about the guys?”
John shot Roman a quick glance and then looked back to Belle, “No baby…I haven’t heard anything new. But hey…no news is good news right?” John said trying his best to sound positive.
Marlena stared at him for a moment and wondered what was going on. She had a very strong feeling that John wasn’t telling the truth. She could always tell when John was trying to hide something and now was one of those times. She broke the awkward silence between her and John, “John…can I talk to you for a minute?”
John felt uneasy he wasn’t ready to talk to Marlena yet, he needed to leave and make preparations for what he knew he had to do, “Umm…I really can’t talk right now Marlena. I…have to get to the office.”
He stood up and prepared to leave, but Marlena laid her slender hand upon his arm causing what felt like electricity to run through them both, “Please John…it will just take a minute.”
John nodded reluctantly. They walked a ways away from the table. Marlena gave John the most heart warming smile, “John…how have you been? I…haven’t seen you much lately.”
John felt his heartbreaking at the mere thought of what he was about to say, “Yeah well…that is what you wanted…right…time and space.” he said to her in a mild but flat emotionless tone.
Marlena looked at him with a slightly shocked expression. Her mind was running a million miles a minute Why is he talking to me like that? He seems so cold. Marlena shook off his sudden attitude, “I received all the flowers and cards…”
John nodded his head, “I see you got the ring back.”
Marlena nodded, tears coming to her eyes as she looked at her engagement ring that John had given her many years ago, “Thank you for giving it back to me. It means more than you could…ever know.”
John nodded he was at a loss for words as Marlena continued, “I was…well I was wondering if maybe we…we could go to dinner? I think there is a lot…that we need to talk about.”
John was getting more and more anxious. He started to get extremely dizzy and disoriented, “John…John are you alright?” Marlena grabbed his arm as he started to sway.
After a moment he steadied himself and got his bearings, “I’m…I’m okay Doc…you don’t have to worry about me.” He shrugged a little to make her release his arm.
“John…of course I worry about you…I love you.” Those three words were like music to his ears, but he forced himself not to react.
John looked at her with no emotion, “Listen…Marlena I really need to go. I have to go to the office…and then I need to go home and lie down. I think…I think I am catching something.” Marlena was about to protest but before she could John cut her off. “I will talk to you later Doc!” John walked back toward the table and Marlena followed close behind. John walked up to Roman and whispered in his ear, “Meet me…at midnight…on the pier.”
Roman looked up at him and nodded. John walked up to Belle and kissed her cheek, “Bye sweetheart. I will talk to you as soon as I know something.”
Sami looked at him with disgust, “John where are you off to in such a hurry? You and Kate have a hot date.”
Marlena gasped at her daughters comment. Roman looked at his daughter in shock, “Samantha Gene Brady!”
Sami looked at her father with shock on her face at the tone of his voice, ”What?”
“You know damn well what! You make me wonder if the things that Kate have said are true!”
Marlena looked at Sami with a look of hurt and sadness on her face, “I am beginning to wonder the same thing myself.”
Sami looked back and forth between her mother and father, “Mom…dad…how can you say that! You know that I would never cheat on Lucas…Kate set me up!”
As Sami kept pleading her case, John interrupted, “Listen I have to go. See you all later!” was all he said and he quickly turned and walked away. Marlena called after him frantically, “JOHN!….JOHN…please wait!” When John walked away without looking back Marlena sat back in her chair feeling defeated. She turned to face Sami, “Thank you VERY much Samantha!”
Sami raised her hands in the air, “Now what did I do?”
Marlena shook her head, “What you always do Sami…cause trouble. Things are hard enough right now with out you making cruel accusations!”
Sami raised her hand to her chest, “If things are difficult between you and John it’s not my fault! He was the one cheating on you with Kate.”
Roman looked at Sami with an iron gaze, “That is enough! You know the more I think about it…the more I think that Kate is telling the truth! Just by the way your acting right now I can only imagine the things you have done while your mother and I were gone!”
Sami looked at her father, mother and sister. “Why are you all blaming me for everything. Why won’t you believe me!”
Belle stood up with anger in her pose, “Maybe we don’t believe you because you are a known liar Sami. When ever you feel that someone has wronged you…you strike out at them. You were vicious while mom and Roman were gone! You blamed my father for mom and Roman’s death and you did everything you could to make his life a living hell…not to mention Kate! And now mom and Roman are back and you are doing your damndest to hurt them because they love people that you don’t like.”
Sami shook her head, “That’s not true Belle! I want my mother and father to be happy…more than anything.”
Marlena stood and walked over next to Belle, “If you want me to be happy Sami…then quit trying to alienate the man that I love. John and I are having a hard enough time right now without you adding fuel to the fire.” Marlena walked over to Sami and laid her hand on Sami’s shoulder, “Sweetheart…I love you…but you are your own worst enemy. If you want people to believe in you…you have to give them a reason too. Now I have to go and try to talk to John. I will tell you this much Samantha…I will not tolerate your temper tantrums anymore. You need to realize the very simple fact that your father and I are not in love anymore…and we will not be getting back together! We have separate lives now, and that’s the way it’s going to stay!”
Marlena and Belle began to walk away, when Roman stopped them, “Wait I will drive you.” He stopped and looked at Sami, “I am very disappointed in you Sami! All these years your mother and I have tolerated your childish behavior…but no more! I know damn well that your mother and I taught you respect, and the last time that I looked John and Kate were your step parents! Now I understand why you and Kate don’t get along…and actually I can’t say that I blame either of you for the way you feel about each other. But you had damn well better start showing her some respect, because she is my wife!”
Sami looked at her father, “I don’t give a rats ass who she is! She has never respected me, and I sure as hell have NO reason to respect her!”
Marlena approached her, “And what about John? He has never shown you anything but respect and love, and you have done nothing but treat him like dirt! I would have thought that when your father and I “died” you would have reached out to him. It breaks my heart to hear how you treated him. He raised you Sami! He loves you just as much as Belle and Brady…and what did you do…you alienate him and blame him for our deaths!”
Marlena begins to cry, and Roman puts an arm around her and looks at Sami, “You better get your act together Samantha. You need to learn to respect your parents…all of them! Or you may have just burnt your last bridge with this family!”
Sami opens her mouth to say something but Roman, Marlena and Belle all walk away! Leaving Sami standing there crying in the middle of Salem Place!
A few hours had passed since John left Marlena at Salem Place. John was sitting on the docks thinking of the mission that laid ahead of him. His heart broke into a million pieces as he thought of the pain that he was going to cause the love of his life…but there was no other way. He had to do this…for his family but especially for his Doc! John took the needle out of his pocket and stared at it for a moment, “This is the last time I am EVER going to do this…I swear it!” He took a deep breath and jammed the needle into his leg without caring.
John didn’t come to the dock intending to buy drugs. He was just sitting there thinking back at the conversation he had with Marlena earlier when he heard footsteps on the pier. He had a knee jerk reaction and went and hid behind some crates, where he usually hid when he was down there on the docks shooting up. While he was hiding there he saw her. She came and stood at the railing to look over the water. This was their special place and there he was hiding from her. She was talking to herself… or maybe to God… John wasn’t sure and he really didn’t care. He just got lost in her voice and the words that she spoke. She was blaming herself for pushing John about their relationship. She was crying “Oh John…maybe you aren’t in love with me anymore. I don’t want to lose you. This is all my fault…if I would have fought harder to escape from that castle…maybe I would have gotten home to you sooner. And you and Kate…well maybe you never would have…fallen in love with her!” She kept talking for a while, then after her tears subsided she wiped her eyes and walked away. Then John emerged from his hiding place with a tear soaked face. The pain of seeing her blaming herself was unbearable to him…just as unbearable as Marlena thinking that he didn’t love her anymore. That was when he bought the drugs.
John was brought out of his drug induced memory by another set of footsteps approaching him…however this time he was too out of it to hide. He sat there in a darkened corner of the pier, where he wasn’t really all that visible to anyone. He saw the woman with long blonde hair walk over to the bench and sit down. She was crying and it tore at his heart. He couldn’t see her face, but he knew who it was. That was his little girl…if only in his heart. Sami sat there on the bench talking and crying to herself as her mother had done only an hour earlier. Sami kept wiping the continuous stream of tear that were flowing down her reddened cheeks as she spoke to herself, “Life is so unfair…why am I always the villain. I can’t believe that… mom and dad…would believe…that bitch…over their own…daughter! And dad…he actually wants me…to show her respect…just because…she is his…WIFE! THAT…will be a cold day in hell!” Sami stood from the bench and walked to the railing looking out over the water, “And mom…tearing into me about John.”
John heard his name mentioned and strained to hear what Sami was saying, “Mom was acting like…like it was MY fault that her and John are having problems. God…” Sami hung her head, “I am really tired of being blamed for EVERYTHING! It’s not my fault that John and Kate got “involved” with each other. Okay…so maybe I shouldn’t have made that rude comment to John…” Sami sat there thinking for a moment, “Oh man…I really hurt mom when I said that! I have never seen her like that. She was so mad at me…madder than I have ever seen her. If I want to get back on her good side I better watch what I say from now on, especially when it comes to John.” Suddenly Sami gets a panicked expression on her face, “Oh man…I better do what ever I can to make sure…that NO ONE finds out what I did these past couple months…especially mom. If she finds out what I did to John…”
John sneaks up behind Sami and startles her, “What did you do to John?” Sami lets out a scream and speak slightly out of breath, “FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Damn John…you should wear a bell around your neck!”
John walks toward the railing, “Nah…that would take all the fun out of it.”
Sami studies John for a minute. She notices that he is sort of stumbling and his speech is kind of slurred. Sami smirks, “John you don’t look so hot. Still got that nasty ‘flu’?”
John give a little snort and turns to face Sami, “You would know!”
Sami stares at him, “What the hell is THAT supposed to mean, ‘I would know’?”
John takes a step toward her, “Just what is sounded like Samantha. You know first hand…how sick I have been!”
Sami looks at him with slight trepidation on her face but she does her best to mask it, “John…I think that ‘cold medicine’ that you have been taking is starting to give you brain damage. You aren’t making any sense.”
John blows off her comment and keeps talking, “So what kind of mess have you gotten yourself into now…”
Sami turns away from him, “I’m not in a mess thank you very much.”
John let out a small laugh, “So you are down here on the pier crying for no reason?”
Sami turns to walk away from him, but John grabs her arm gently but with enough force to hold her in place, “What happened Sami… did mommy and daddy find out that you have been a bad girl while they were gone?”
Sami jerked her arm away, “I don’t know what the hell you are talking about.”
John laughed, “Well then…you really are a clueless wonder.” John looked Sami square in the eye, “I heard you say that you upset you mother. What did you do to her THIS time?”
Sami looked at him with an attitude, “I didn’t DO anything…she was just upset with me about the comment I made to you at Salem Place.” John started to laugh and this shocked Sami, “I’m sorry I must have missed the joke. What is so funny.”
Sami stared at John as he got his laughing under control,” Ha Ha…that rude comment…is the LEAST of your problems. I think you should be more worried about your mother finding out about the little…‘hobby’ you picked up while she was gone.”
Sami stood there in utter confusion, “What ‘hobby’ might that be?”
John looked at her with a mixture of amusement and anger flashing in his eyes, “Well Sami…how do you think your mother and father are going to feel when they hear that you have taken up…cross dressing! Oh…it will break their heart!” Sami’s air caught in her throat. She shook her head about to speak but John cut her off in anger, “Can you imagine the looks on their faces when they find out that their loving sweet Sami girl…is none other than the cold…heartless…BASTARD… STAN!”
Sami just stood there at a total loss for words. She didn’t want to confirm John’s comment just in case he was bluffing so she choose to say nothing. John just stared at her wondering when she was going to start spewing out some excuses for her behavior, but the excuses never came. John waited another moment and then broke the looming silence, “Well?”
Sami just stared at him with a neutral expression, “Well…what?”
John couldn’t believe she wasn’t defending herself, “Well…aren’t you going to do your usual pity Sami routine, you know…it goes something like this…”It wasn’t me. It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do it.” you know your usual barrage of excuses.” Sami looked at him one moment longer and then turned to face the water.
John walked up to stand beside her and for a moment they both gazed out into the blackness that seemed to go on for miles. After a moment John let out a small chuckle, “Samantha Gene Brady… admitting defeat! Well…I guess there is a first time for everything.”
Sami turned her head and gave him a snide glance, “I haven’t admitted anything…you have no proof…of anything!”
Sami gave him a half hearted smile and turned to leave… but John’s next words stopped her in her tracks, “Sami you know me better than that! I NEVER make an accusation without the proof to back it up!”
Sami stopped and turned to face him…her anger rising, “What do you want from me John?”
John turned away from her with tears beginning to form in his eyes, “I don’t want a…damn thing from you Samantha. You have…already done enough for me…thanks!” Then suddenly his temper began to rise and he abruptly turned to face her, “You know what…there is something I want from you.”
Sami got irritated, “Arggg…I knew it! So what price do I have to pay for what you ‘think’ you know?”
John stared at her blankly, “The price you have to pay…is to answer one question for me.”
“And what question would that be?”
John stepped closer to her, “Why?… How?”
Sami gave a small chuckle, “That would be two questions.”
John became irate at her, “DAMN IT SAMANTHA…this is not a joke.” The harshness of John’s tone scared her and she jumped back slightly. John saw her flinch and stepped away from her, “Everything isn’t fun and games Sami…I would have thought that you would have learned that by now. “
Sami shrugged off his comment, “I know that all to well thanks. Listen…all you asked me was ‘why’…if you want me explain something to you…your going to have to be more specific John.”
John was becoming tired of Sami’s flippant attitude. He has never been able to let his true anger at her out over the years out of respect to Marlena…but right now…all John’s pent up anger came out at once. “You want me to be more specific…that shouldn’t be a problem. I want to know why…why you felt the need…to make your stepfather…into a drug addict? I want to know how…how you could sit there and watch me…watch me jam a needle into my leg! I want to know WHY…you felt the need to…kill me slowly…day by day, and I want to know HOW you could care less…about doing it?” John was crying and he didn’t care. He loved Sami so much…it was killing him inside to know that she hated him this much.
Sami was taken back by what John was saying. She never expected him to confront her like this, with so much emotion. However she wasn’t going to let emotion cloud the issue. Sami summoned up all the anger she had within herself and spoke to John with venom in her voice, “You want to know WHY John… you want to know HOW? Because…you ruined MY LIFE!”
John looked at her in utter disbelief, “How Sami…please tell me how I have ruined your life.”
Sami felt her own tears beginning to surface, but she pushed them down, “You know how John…you…you destroyed my FAMILY!”
John let out an exasperated sigh, “Oh PLEASE…not this shit again. Good lord Sami…you act like…the world oldest fucking ten year old!”
Sami gasped suddenly. She had never heard John talk that way to her…or to anyone else for that matter, “Excuse me?”
John looked at her matter of factly, “You heard me…loud and clear!” John started pacing back and forth trying to process his thoughts, “So…let me get this straight. You decided to turn me…your step father…into a drug addict…because your mommy and daddy got divorced?”
Sami let her anger out as well, “It is more than that, and you know it! They would have never GOTTEN divorced if it wasn’t for you…and mom… having an affair! That affair destroyed our family…and my life!”
John looked at her in disbelief, “Yes Sami…your mother and I had an affair… 12 FUCKING YEARS AGO! Get OVER it already!”
Sami was irate, “Get over it? That’s easy for you to say! That affair didn’t cost you anything! No you got away scott free….the rest of us had to pay the price! Me and Eric and Carrie…we lost our father because you…couldn’t keep your pants zipped!”
John calmed down slightly, “Excuse me…don’t EVEN try to blame Roman leaving on me. Your mother begged him…she begged him to stay and work things out! You know what…that’s not even the point! It was 12 years ago! Isn’t there a statute of limitations on pass sins? What… Are you going to make me pay for that one mistake for the rest of my life?”
Sami’s anger faded slightly. John looked at her sad expression and his anger faded slightly as well. John stuck his hands nervously in his pockets and slowly walked over to the bench and sat down. “I just don’t get it Sami. You were sitting here crying because you think that no one believes that you are telling the truth about not cheating on Lucas.” He looked her straight in the eye, “You know why no one believes you?” Sami let a tear drop from her eye as she listened to him. “No one believes you… because of the things that you have done in the past. That is what amazes me about this whole situation. You know…better than anyone…how much it hurts when people hold your past mistakes against you…yet you CONSTANTLY do it to me and your mother!”
Sami approaches him tentatively, “John…”
John stood from the bench and walked away from her, “No Sami… I don’t even want to hear it! I am sooo tired…of being blamed for everything… that has gone wrong in your life.” John turned to face her, “I raised you Sami…when you were little and we thought your mother died…I raised you and your brother and sister. I was the one that took you to school and made sure you did your homework. I was the one that played tea party with you…I was the one that let you play beauty shop and use me as a mannequin…” Sami chuckled slightly at the memory, with tears running down her eyes. John saw the tears in Sami eyes and his tears began to flow as he continued, “I was the one who did all those thing with you… I was your FATHER! Why…why doesn’t THAT count for anything! You say that I didn’t have a price to pay when I had the affair with Doc…You know what? That affair, was a result of the price that I had ALREADY paid. I paid the ultimate price when Roman came back. I lost…everything that day. I lost my home, my job, my wife and kids…I lost my life that day! You have no idea… how it feels to lose the only life you have ever known. You kids…and your mother…were my life! I was nothing without all of you…yet I walked away! I gave Roman back his family…but I never gave up the love that I felt for you all. I am not saying that the affair was right…not by any stretch of the imagination! But it happened out of love, a love that was ripped away from me and your mother!”
John shook himself out of his recriminations and gathered his wits about him. He looked at Sami. “Sami, the point here is…I have owned up to my mistakes… each and every one of them. Maybe you should try and do the same. You can’t continue to blame everything you do…on the fact that your parents divorced. You can’t blame every life that you destroy on the fact that your mother and I had an affair, and broke up your ‘happy home‘. Last time I checked…you are an adult! Maybe…just maybe…people will stop holding your past mistakes against you…when YOU stop beating them over the head with theirs!” John looked at her for a moment trying to see whether anything that he said sunk into Sami’s head.
When he saw no sign either way he turned to leave…when Sami laid her hand on his arm to stop him. “John…please…don’t go!” John looked back at her. Sami had tears running down her face. He hope that this was a sign…a sign that things were about to change between him and his daughter.
John turned to face her with tears clouding his eyes. He can’t believe that she actually asked him not to go…he didn’t think that she had heard anything that he just said to her. He watched as Sami slowly walked over to the bench and sat down. He took a few tentative steps toward her. When she didn’t speak he sat down beside her, waiting for her to break the silence.
They sat there looking out over the water for a moment when Sami finally spoke. “This is…weird.”
John gave a slight chuckle, “What is weird?”
Sami shrugged her shoulders, “This whole…situation. But mostly…the things that you just said to me.” She turned on the bench to face John, “Do you know how many times I have gotten that little lecture?”
John laughed again, “I don’t think I can count that high.” He said trying to lighten the mood.
Which worked because it made Sami laugh. “Yeah…needless to say I have gotten that lecture quit a few times. But somehow…this time was different.”
John looked at her curiously, “How can this time be different Samantha? I’m sure I didn’t say anything different than anyone else has said. Of course with the exception of a…few choice swear words.”
Sami let out a hardy laugh, “That is what made it different. Not so much the swear words…but the intensity…and the emotion.”
John nodded his head, “What about your mother. She feels strongly about this…subject? You mean to tell me that your little…discussions with her weren’t emotional?”
Sami shook her head, “Of course they were emotional John…you know my mother…she could cry if you looked at her the wrong way. This was a different kind of emotional. It just seemed like for the first time…no one ….held back!” They sat there in a silence while Sami was composing her thoughts, “John?”
John spoke but didn’t look at her, “Yeah peanut?”
Sami smiled at the use of her nickname, “Why haven’t you ever…said anything to me about this before? I mean…in all honesty…I have treated you like shit ever since I found out you weren’t my dad. Why didn’t you ever call me on it?”
“Because of your mother. Your mother and I felt terrible about how you found out about the affair. She felt responsible for all the problems you have had over the years. I…I didn’t want to add to that by picking fights with you. It would have just hurt her more.” John stood up and walked to the railing.
Sami stared at him, “I think I understand now.”
John turned to look at her his backside leaning against the railing, “What is it that you ‘understand’ now?”
Sami took a deep breath, “I think I understand why I have done the things that I have. Don’t misunderstand me…I don’t know why I have done ALL of the terrible things that I have done in my life. But…I understand why I have done the terrible things that I have done to you.”
John knew that this was a long time coming. He walked back over to her and sat down. He put a finger under her chin and turned her face towards his, “If you are ready to talk…I am ready to listen.” He wiped away a tear that was running down Sami’s cheek.
Sami nodded, “I have always said that my anger towards you was because of the affair… but I don’t think that is really true. I think my anger comes from the fact that…you left us in the first place!”
John shook his head, “I don’t understand what you are getting at peanut.”
Sami took a deep breath, ”I mean that…I am angry that you left when we were little. I think deep down in my heart…that is what has caused me so much pain. I have always told you that I blamed you for breaking up my family…which is true…I have always blamed you for that.” Sami turned to face him with tears running down her cheeks, “I blamed you for breaking up OUR family. You, mom, me, Eric and Carrie…that family! When you gave us back to Roman…you destroyed the only family I ever had. I think…that is where all of my anger came from.” Sami wiped the tears from her eyes and walked towards the railing.
John had tears in his eyes. He sat there quietly trying to think of something to say but the words just wouldn’t come,” Sami…I…I really don’t know what to say. I didn’t want to give you up all those years ago. It’s just that…Roman was your dad.”
Sami whipped around, “No…he wasn’t! Yes…his DNA was running through my veins…that didn’t make him my dad! He wasn’t the one who got up for 4am feedings when we were babies…you did that. He wasn’t the one who played submarines with me when I was taking a bath…you were! He wasn’t the one to teach me how to ride a bike, or how to swim, or how to throw a baseball….YOU did all those thing…not HIM! Last time I checked…those are things that dad’s do with their kids!” By this time Sami was balling her eyes out.
John was crying too but he did his best to comfort her, “Sami…you don’t understand…” Sami stepped away from him and out of his tender grasp.
She took a deep breath and calmed herself, “Yes…I do understand. I know…I know it wasn’t Romans fault. I know that he was held captive all those years…and I know that he didn’t choose to be separated from us. I understand all that.” She turned to face John, “But…it still doesn’t change the fact that he wasn’t there when we were little John. Roman might have been our father…but you were our dad! There is a big difference!” Sami was crying hard. She looked into John’s eyes which were full of tears.
John looked at her and nodded. Before he knew it Sami flew into his arms and held onto him as tightly as she could. John rubbed gently, soothing circles over Sami’s back with one hand and stroked her hair with the other. That is exactly what he did when she was little to stop her tears from falling, and it seemed to still work. After a few moments Sami’s tears began to subside. John pulled back from her and kissed the tip of her nose which caused her to smile. He took her hand and lead her to the bench once again. John sat down first still holding Sami’s hand. After a few seconds she sat down beside him and rested her head on his shoulder and he continued to stroke her hair.
Sami was lost in the gentle strokes her ‘dad’ was making on her head. “Ever since you left… I have never felt like I belonged anywhere…you know what I mean?”
John nodded his head even though Sami couldn’t see it, “Yes…I do know what you mean peanut. Ever since I walked away from ‘our‘ family…I never felt like I fit in anywhere else. I felt like I was lost in a fog…until I had Brady. Even after that… I never felt complete. Because I knew that Brady was missing out on a great family…like the family that we had.”
Sami smiled,” We did have a GREAT family…didn’t we?” She raised her head from John’s shoulder and looked at him. “Even after I got to know Roman as my dad…It never felt right… it still doesn’t. I think that is because you always made me feel so special…like daddy’s little girl. I never had to be anyone special to please you…I just had to be myself! I think that is why I have been such a bitch these past several years. I never knew what to be for other people…I never knew what to do to make them proud of me. So I figured…why even bother!”
Sami got a smile on her face that was a mile wide which made John laugh, “I know that look…what is so funny?”
Sami started to laugh, “I was just thinking… how well I have hidden my true feeling over the years. Did you know…that I was over the moon when you and mom told me that you were getting married all those years ago?”
John let out a laugh, “Damn you are good at hiding your feelings. I though the idea made you sick to your stomach.”
Sami laughed, “I told ya I was good. I was actually overjoyed at the idea. I was finally going to have MY family back…with the added bonus of Belle and Brady! I was getting to have my dad back…and a brother and sister! It was what I had dreamed of for years.” John stood there in shock listening to Sami talk about her true feelings. It was nice to finally have his peanut back.
John and Sami talked for a little while longer about everything that happened over the past few years. All of the misunderstandings and the hurt feelings. Then after a while they got onto the subject of Marlena and Roman’s ‘deaths’ and John getting together with Kate. Then how Sami turned into Stan.
John shook his head in disbelief, “If Tony was here right now…I would KILL HIM!” John stood up and started pacing.
Sami felt horrible about all the things she has done to John in recent months, “John…I am so sorry for what I have done to you. There are no…words that I can say to make up for what I have done…I’m not even going to try.”
John stopped in his tracks and looked at her, “Sami…I’m not saying that the things you have done are…justifiable…but I understand where you are coming from now. Besides…If I didn’t want to take those drugs…I wouldn’t have. It was my choice!” John went and sat beside her. “But…there is something that you can do for me.”
Sami nodded, “Anything!”
“You better hear me out first. This is a big favor Sami…you might not be so quick to help once you hear what it is.” John told Sami of his plans and what it was that he needed her help with. He knew that this was going to be hard for her to do…but he couldn’t do this without her. “I now this will be very hard for you Sami…but I can’t do it without your help.”
Sami was pacing now, “Personally John…I don’t think you should do it at all! Your life is just getting back to normal…why do you want to stir it all up again?”
John shrugs his shoulders, “Nothing about my life right now is normal and you know it.”
Sami faced him abruptly, “What about mom?”
John nodded, “That is going to be the hardest part of all of this. She…she can’t know Sami!”
Sami’s jaw looked as though it was about to hit the wooden surface of the pier, “John…how am I supposed to pull this off? Mom can always tell when I am lying!”
John laughed at that remark, “Didn’t you tell me a little while ago that you are the best liar there is?” John’s smile faded, “You now that I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important. Please Sami…my life and… our families future happiness is riding on this!”
Sami took a moment to think. She let out a big sigh, “Oh…alright! I don’t agree with it…but I will help you! I guess it is the least I can do. I hope we can pull all this off.”
John pulled Sami into a hug, “We will pull this off…I promise! When we are working together…no one can beat us!”
John and Sami pulled apart and John stumbled and fell to the pier, “John!…Oh…are you alright?”
Sami went to his side and he sat up slowly, “Yes…I am fine…I just got dizzy for a minute! I need to go home and lie down for a while!”
“Are you sure…do you want me to take you?”
John got up off the pier slowly so he didn’t get dizzy again, “No peanut…I’ll be fine. Remember…be back here at midnight!”
Sami laughed slightly at his fatherly tone, “Yes sir…I will be here sir!” She saluted him. Then she turned serious, “Are you sure you can make it home okay?” John nodded. Sami kissed him on the cheek and left.
John stood there on the pier looking upwards towards the heavens, “Please God…give me the strength…to pull this off with as little damage to my family as possible! Amen!” Then he turned to go home to the penthouse and get some much needed rest.
John was lying in his bed in the penthouse trying his best to get some sleep. He knew that if he was going to get through the next couple weeks he was going to need all the strength that god had given him. He looked over at the alarm clock which read 7:00pm. Five more hours! He thought to himself. He stirred in bed when he heard a loud thump downstairs. He knew that something wasn’t right because he locked the door after he came home from the pier. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. He swayed for a moment having the same wave of dizziness hit him as it had earlier on the pier. He bent over ever so slowly and grabbed his pajama pants off the floor and slipped them on.
He walked toward the door and stopped as he looked around for some kind of an object to defend himself with, and he grabbed the fireplace poker. He walked toward the stairs and looked over the landing to see if he could spot what had made the noise. He saw nothing out of the ordinary so he continued his journey down the stairs. He came up upon the kitchen area and heard another loud crash.
With his fireplace poker in hand he slowly opened the kitchen door to sneak up on the intruder. He pushed the kitchen door open a little further and it made a small squeaking noise. At that noise the intruder turned around and let out a loud scream, to which John jumped back against the wall bracing himself from falling! “JOHN!”
John caught his breath, “Marlena!…Jesus Christ…You scared the HELL out of me!”
Marlena bent over trying to catch her breath, “I scared YOU! I’m…not exactly having a laughing fit myself.”
They both took a few minutes to get over their shock when Marlena’s laughter broke the silence.
John looked at her as if she was insane, “Marlena what is wrong with you!”
She pointed at his weapon of choice that he still held in his hand, “That! What were you planning to do…come in here and poke me to death!”
John looked down at the fire place poker and began to laugh as well, “It was the best I could do…on short notice.”
After the laughter subsided John’s smile disappeared and his seriousness took over again. That look had Marlena worried. That was the same disheartening look he had earlier at Salem Place. She shook her head, this evening is not starting out like I had hoped, she thought to herself. She needed to do something to lighten the mood. She walked over to John and placed her finger under John’s chin to lock eyes with him, “John…smile…it increases your face value.”
That comment brought a wide smile to John’s face just like Marlena knew that it would, “Doc…I thought I told you about that!”
Marlena got a childish smile on her face, “Told me about what?”
John let out a hardy laugh, “I have told you time and time again…you are forbidden from watching Steel Magnolias! How many times have you watched it since you have been home?”
A coy smile crept across Marlena’s face, “Once…a day” she said barley above a whisper.
A huge smile spread across John’s face, “Something’s never change do they?”
Marlena’s smile faded a bit, “No…thank god…there are something’s that you can always count on!”
They both locked eyes at that moment. John reached up to wipe away a few pieces of Marlena’s hair that had fallen into her eyes, and slid his hand down her cheek. Marlena leaned her face into his hand…and John felt that oh so familiar spark fly between them and let his hand fall from her face. He took a deep breath, “So…what brings you by?”
Marlena look at him and saw the forced coldness residing there in his eyes, “Well…you said earlier when I saw you…that you weren’t feeling well. I thought that I would come over… and make you dinner.”
John smiled at that comment and tried his best not to laugh, “Doc…if you wanted to force me to throw up…you could have just brought me some ipecac, then I wouldn’t have to eat your cooking!”
Marlena got a shocked expression on her face as John was bent over laughing. She took the dish rage and slapped him with it, “Very nice…smart ass!” Marlena let out the laughter she was holding in, “As a matter of fact…I brought you your favorite…from The Grille!” Marlena walked back over to the stove where she was heating up the food, she took it out of the oven and held it over the garbage can, “But…if you are still feeling sick I can throw it away!”
She looked as thought she was going to dump it in the garbage when John raised his hands up in protest, “No…no…I feel much better! Please I will do anything…just don’t throw away a perfectly good steak!”
Marlena gave him a cocky smile, “ Okay…but you know what you have to do!”
John raised one eyebrow, “What exactly would that be?:”
Marlena walked up to him slowly with an extra swing in her step. She ran her hand threw his hair and down his cheek, which came to rest on his chest, “You…have to…compliment my cooking!”
John let out a small snort try as best he could not to bust out laughing right in her face, “Well, in the words of Sami… the bartender from Steel Magnolias…I Would Rather Eat DIRT!” He let out a burst of laughter as he ran away from her.
Marlena was not far behind him. She chased him all the way out of the kitchen, and around the sofa. John stood there in back of the sofa with Marlena standing in front of the sofa, “Give it up Doc…you will never catch me!”
Marlena let out a laugh, “You wanna bet! You can run John…but you can’t hide!”
John laughed again while darting back and forth from side to side, “Oh that’s and original line Doc…now you sound like Mohamed Ali.”
Marlena laughed and ran around to the back of the sofa while John ran to the front. Marlena placed her hands on the back of the sofa, “That is it Black! I…am gonna…kick your ass!”
John stopped and pointed at her, “Hey…that line is from…Big Business! You really need to get out of the house more Doc!”
Marlena let out a hearty laugh and leapt over the sofa and grabbed John by his shirt. As she went to stand up she lost her footing and fell backward onto the sofa taking John down on top of her. They both were lost in fits of laughter when Marlena looked up and wiped his hair out of his eyes, “My…how I have missed you!”
John took her hand from his face and laid a gentle kiss on her palm, “I have missed you too…more than you could ever know!”
Marlena began to move in ever so slowly to kiss John, when he backed away and stood up. He grabbed her hands and pulled her to stand beside him, “Come on…we can’t let a perfectly good dinner go to waste.”
John wrapped his arm around her waist and walked beside her to the kitchen. He stopped for a moment and looked at her, “You want to know what would have made this dinner even better?”
She looked up at him and smile that special smile that she reserved just for him, “What would that be?”
John smiled back at her, “If you would have cooked it yourself!”
She smiled at him and then began to laugh, “Ha…you call that a compliment! You are going to have to do a lot better than that!”
“Damn…” He said as he playfully slapped himself on the forehead, “I thought that would work!” He walked away from her and went to the kitchen laughing.
Marlena stood there and watched him walk away as she though to herself, This evening is getting better by the minute! Maybe…just maybe…THIS will be our new beginning!
John and Marlena had a very nice, candlelit dinner out on the terrace. They kept the conversation light. Marlena didn’t want to ruin the lovely night with anything to serious. Marlena got up to clear the table off when John grabbed her hand to stop her, “Doc…let me do this. After all…you cooked. It is only fair that I clean up.” They both laughed. “Okay…I guess that is fair.” John grabbed up the dishes and went into the kitchen. Marlena went into the living room to set a scene or create a mood if you will. She lit some candles that were on the mantle of the fireplace. She walked over to the wall and dimmed the lights and then proceeded to turn on the radio. At that moment John walked out of the kitchen and noticed the romantic scene before him. Every nerve in his body tensed. She stood by the radio swaying back and forth to the music. Her hair was flowing across her bare shoulders. She was wearing a knee length brown skirt with a spaghetti strap brown top…both of which complimented her hazel eyes… which glowed in the candle light. John gathered his senses and walked out into the living room while clearing his throat to make his presence known. Marlena turned around to see him standing there. She was captivated by him. He was standing there in black silk pajamas and after all these years he was still the most handsome creature that she had ever laid her eyes upon. She walked over to him. She lifted her hand and caressed his cheek, “I know that…your back has been hurting but…would you dance with me?” She looked at him with childlike eyes. He smiled at her and raised her hand from his cheek and laid a butterfly kiss upon her palm, “There isn’t any…amount of pain in this world…that is strong enough to keep me…from holding you in my arms.” Her eyes glowed at his comment. He looked at her with all his love for her shining in his eyes. He grabbed her and lead her to the middle of the living room. He took her right hand in his left, and placed it over his heart. She kissed him on the cheek and then buried her face in his neck, breathing in his sent…and she sighed contently. John laid his head upon hers and sighed deeply, “Everyday…while you were gone…I dreamed…of moments like this.” Marlena nodded her head which still rested on John’s shoulder. “I know what you mean. I dreamed of moments like this all the time. It seemed like every other minute…memories were popping into my head. Memories of…the special little things that we did together.” John pulled back to look at her. When he examined her face he saw the tears running down her cheek. He took his calloused thumb and gently wiped them away. She smiled at him, “I would think about little things like that.” John smiled at her,” Like what honey?” She laid her head back upon his shoulder while she talked. “Like what you just did. I would remember all the times you wiped the tears from my eyes. You always brushed them away with such gentleness. Like I was made of porcelain. I would think of when you would brush my hair out of my face…caressing it as if it was silk in your hands. I would dream and daydream about all of the special things that we did together.” She let out a small giggle. “Like when we…roasted marshmallows in the living room.” John let out a small laugh as well. He ran his hands through her hair as he spoke, “Or…when we went necking at look out point.” Marlena laughed again. She pulled back from his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. She brought her hand up and ran it through his hair, “It was those thoughts that kept me going. It was those thoughts of you… and our incredible, indestructible love…that kept me sane in that hell.” He tried his best not to let his tears escape but he failed. He took her in his embrace and held her tightly. “Doc…I swear to you. I will NEVER let that bastard hurt you again.” He spoke with such fierceness that his body shook. “I swear it on my life Doc…once I find Brady and get him home…I will find Tony! I will make SURE that he pays for what he put you through.” He pulls back from her and looks into her eyes. “He will pay…for putting our family through hell!” Marlena looked into John’s eyes, and although they were filled with an amazing love for her, they were also filled with hate. Hate for the man who tore them apart…and that scared her more than anything. She didn’t want this night to be about anger or hate…she wanted it to be about love…their love! She took John’s hand and lead him over to the sofa. She could tell that his back was giving him trouble…she also knew that he would never complain about it. He sat down on the sofa….Marlena kicked off her shoes and sat down beside him. He looked at her and smile. He pointed to his shoulder and Marlena knew exactly what that gesture meant. She crawled up beside him and snuggled her head into that special spot that was reserved only for her. She laid her head on his shoulder and laid her hand upon his chest and sighed contently, “I could stay just like this…for the rest of my life.” She looked up at him her eyes shinning, “I have missed you…more than you could ever know.” She started to cry, “I…love you!” John wiped away her tears yet again…”I…love you too baby. I only hope you know…how much.” It was Marlena’s turn to wipe away John’s tears. She scooted up closer to his face. She gently ran her fingers over his eyelashes. She leaned in closer and laid a small kiss upon his eyelids. She proceeded to leave feather light kisses all over his face. She ran her hands over John’s chest which caused him to take a sharp intake of breath. His muscles rippled underneath Marlena’s stimulating touch. He gently ran his hand up her arm like the touch of a butterfly. He ran his hand through her hair…taking a hand full and gently pulling her head back giving him access to her delectable neck. He kissed the hollow of her throat causing her to moan in delight. He nipped and sucked at her skin which puckered at his touch. She ran her hand through John’s hair and pulled his head away from her neck. She stared at him with hooded eyes. She has one hand still entangled in his hair and with the fingers of the other hand she slowly caressed his luscious lips. She spoke to him in a voice filled with lust, “I have…dreamed of these lips…for almost a year.” She laid a chased kiss on his red lips. She sucked on her finger slowly and seductively…then proceeded to outline his lips with it. John’s breathing was becoming labored. He took Marlena’s finger in his mouth and sucked it gently. She bent her head down to his and spoke barely above a whisper. “Kiss…me!” John grabbed Marlena about her waist and placed her body on top of his. He grabbed her face with both hands and leaned into kiss her. He laid a soft chased kiss upon Marlena’s lips which caused her to moan. He kissed her like this a few more times, in part to tease her, but he also did it build her anticipation. But Marlena became restless. She had such a pent up desire for him that she could hold back no longer. She grabbed John’s face in both hands as her lips collided with his. She kissed him with a need and desire that she had never felt before. She gently parted John’s lips with her tongue. John felt Marlena‘s tongue duel with his and it made his desire for her rage out of control. He held Marlena’s head to his refusing to give up this little piece of heaven that he held in his arms. When their need for air grew to great they reluctantly parted. After a moment of savoring the feel of John’s lips upon hers, she opened her eyes and spoke to him with an uncontrollable passion in her voice. “My god…how I love you!” She brought her face close to his…her lips hovering over his, “I want you…please honey…make love to me, the way only you can!” John needed no other incentive. He grabbed Marlena by her hair and brought her mouth to meet his in a searing kiss!
John and Marlena stayed locked in a passionate embrace for several moments. Marlena moaned as John kissed her with a fierceness that made her body temperature rise to dizzying heights. John was lost in his exploration of Marlena’s mouth when she slowly pulled away and looked at him…lust glazing her eyes. He stared at her admiring her beauty. He caressed every part of her face, running his fingers along every curve. He just stared at her trying to discern whether she was real or if she was just another one of his fantasies that he had so often while she was gone. Marlena watched him intently as he explored her skin like it was the first time. She could tell that he was lost in a world of disbelief. “I am here John…I’m not going anywhere!” John stopped his exploration and looked up to meet her gaze. The tears were running down John’s face making a white trail on his heated flesh. He just stared at her with the expression of a little boy. “That was what I thought before.”
She began to cry at his lost expression, “What do you mean honey?” She wiped away his tears as he began to speak. “Before…I was so lost without you. I would cry myself to sleep at night. When I would finally drift off…you would be there… waiting for me. I would be so happy. My dreams were so real. We would be together talking…making love.” Marlena smiled at him, “Sounds pretty nice to me.” John nodded, “It was…but then…then I would wake up…and I was back in hell again. I would have you back and then…I would lose you all over again.” Marlena wiped away her tear. She lightly grabbed John’s chin and lifted it so she could look into his eye’s and make him believe her words. “John…it is real this time. I am not leaving. Please believe me honey…” John wiped away his tears trying to gather his strength. He sat up and gently moved Marlena off of him so she was sitting beside him. He looked into her eyes, “You don’t understand Doc…I am the one who…” Marlena cut him off by putting her delicate fingers to his lips. She stared into his eyes. “I do understand honey. I know what you are feeling right now. I felt that way for over a year. Day after day…and night after night…I would dream about you. Dream about coming home to you. It killed me each and every time those dreams ended. Sometimes it hurt so bad…I felt like I was dying!” She began to sob harder as she talked with a passion filled voice. “This…this is like a dream come true for me too. I am afraid too…I am afraid that I will wake up and you wont be here. That I will be alone again…but that wont happen!” John stands from the sofa and walks by the fireplace starring at the flames. He knows that he can’t do this…but he is finding it harder and harder to hold back. Marlena walks up behind him and wraps her arms about his waist. She nuzzles into his neck running the tip of her nose along the outline of his ear. John takes a sharp intake of breath. “Doc…” She smiles, “Hmmm?” John takes a deep breath, “Doc…we can’t do this.” Marlena pulls away from him as he turns around. Marlena’s eyes roam his body and land on the bulge that has begun to form in his pajama pants a smile comes to her face, “It appears to me as though we CAN do this.” John looks at the smirk on her face and follows her gaze down to his tented pajama pants and he giggles. “Hmm…that isn’t quite what I meant. I mean that we…shouldn’t do this.” John begins to fidget… and walks away from her, before his desire takes control of his senses. Marlena is becoming irritated at John’s resistance. “Well John…I can tell just by…looking at you that…you want to make love to me. So tell me then…why can’t we?” John looks away from her. The disappointment in her eyes is like a knife stabbing him in the heart. He looks at her, “Well…it’s just that…well honey I’m sick! I don’t want you to get sick too.” Marlena busted out laughing, “John…you will have to do better than that.” John looked at her in shock, “What do you mean?” Marlena got her giggles under control. “Honey…we have been…well for lack of a better term…swapping spit…for the past ten minutes. It is pretty safe to say…that if I was going to catch your cold…I already have.”
Marlena can tell that there is something else holding him back. She walks over to him and caresses his cheek. “Honey…what is it? Something is holding you back. Is it…is it Kate?” John’s head shot up, “NO! Dear god…what would make you think that?” Marlena looked away shyly, “I just thought that… well maybe you were having second thoughts… about being with me.”
He stared at her…she looked so lost so…defeated. At that moment all of his fears and worries about what the future held vanished from his mind. The only thing that mattered to him was making sure that Marlena felt his love for her. He wanted to make her believe that she was all that he wanted! “Sweetheart…what could make you think that I would want Kate and not you.” She began to cry softly, “I don’t know…it’s just that. Well…we haven’t been together in almost a year and…you sent me all those flowers and gifts…and then at Salem place today, you acted like…like you couldn’t stand to be around me. I thought that you had…changed your mind…about staying married to me.” John wiped her tears away. He slid his hand down her cheek and moved it to her neck. He brushed her collar bone gently with his calloused finger, then he ran his hand up her neck and entangled his fingers into her hair. Taking a hand full he forcefully yet gentle pulled her head back so their eyes were locked, “I guess I am going to have to convince you of who I love!” He brought her face to his and kissed her madly. His tongue begged for access to her heavenly mouth and Marlena allowed his entry almost instantly. When John struggled with his breathing he pulled back from Marlena. Her eyes were on fire…you could see her passion for John emanating from her soul! Her breathing was labored and she fought to speak, “John…” John said nothing. He simple took her lips in another searing kiss as he bent over and swept her up in his arms…talking her up stairs.
John and Marlena were entangled in each others arms as they approached the bedroom. John was ravishing Marlena with his mouth and Marlena’s deep moans were fueling their fire for each other. John stopped outside their bedroom door… he leaned his back up against the wall while holding Marlena in his arms. When Marlena felt their movement come to a stop she preyed her lips from his. “Wh… why did you… stop honey.” John slowly opened his eyes and starred at Marlena with a hooded gaze. “God… I love you!” Marlena gave him a soul shattering smile. “I know… I love you too. So… very much!” She dipped her mouth to kiss him again but he backed away slightly. “Hold that thought.” He set her down in front of him her arms still wrapped around his neck. He removed her arms, “Doc, close your eyes.” Marlena eyed him curiously, “Why?” John giggled. “I want to do something just close your eyes.” Marlena did as he requested. He waived his hands in front of her face, and when he was sure she wasn’t peeking he slowly back away from her and went into the bedroom, closing the door and locking it behind him.
Marlena heard the thud of the door and her eyes sprang open. “John?” She looked around and saw him nowhere in the hall way. She walked over to the bedroom door and turned the knob, but it was locked. “John?” There was no answer. “John Black… you better answer me… or so help me… I will break this door down.” She heard John laughing from the other side, “Geez Doc… hold on a minute.” Marlena sighed, “Hold on a minute? In case you have forgotten… we were in the middle of something rather… important.” John laughed again, “I remember… BELIEVE ME!” Marlena banged on the door let out a grunt. “Urggg come on John… open the door… your driving me crazy here! You know… it’s a little late to play hard to get.” “I’m not playing hard to get honey. You already have me… for the rest of your life. Please just give me one more minute.”
Marlena turned her back to the door and let her self fall up against it with a thud. After a few moments John was ready. He walked up to the door and put his ear against it. He heard nothing so he unlocked the door and flung it open. Marlena was caught completely off guard and didn’t have time to brace herself. She fell backwards toward the floor but before she knew it John had caught her, “Dear lady… are you falling for me?” He said with a million dollar smile plastered on his face. They both broke out in a fit of laughter.
Marlena brought her hand up and stroked his cheek. “No matter how many times you say that to me… it never gets old. And it couldn’t be truer honey. I fall in love with you… every time I see you.” She threaded her fingers through John’s hair and brought his lips to her. She outlined his lips with her fingers and then replaced her fingers with the tip of her tongue. She kissed him ever so sweetly and then deepened the contact within seconds. John granted her tongue access without hesitation. After a moment he pulled away and gazed into her eyes. He stood her up straight and before she could protest her turned her around to face the bedroom. What she saw took her breath away. Within a few minutes John had managed to turn their dreary bedroom into a magical fairy tail. There were candles lining all the dressers and tables. He sprayed her perfume in the room along with his cologne, which made for the most sensual aroma. And in the middle of the room sat a chair. Marlena turned to face him with tears running down her face.
Before she could speak he lead her over to the chair and had her sit down. He knelled down in front of her. Her love for him felt as though it would burst through her heart at any moment. She bent over and kissed him with such an unbridled passion that it took his breath away. After a moment she broke the kiss and caressed his face. “You… touch me so!” John smiled at her, “Well… I hope I continue to touch you for the rest of my life… in more ways that one.” He grinned coyly at her and she smiled. But after a moment his gaze turned serious. “In all honesty Marlena… what I am about to say to you… is coming from the bottom of my soul. I wanted this night to be perfect.” He looks down for a moment but she raises his chin so their eyes meet. “You being here… with me…makes it perfect.” John smiles.
“I feel the same way. There is just so much I want to say to you. I have been… having some issues since you came back. Which I don’t want to talk about right now… but I promise we will talk about them soon enough.” Marlena looks away slightly which John doesn’t miss. “But Doc… please believe me… when I say that those issues have NOTHING to do with Kate. Please baby… believe me when I say that YOU are the ONLY woman I love. Which brings me to the other reason I wanted this night to be special.”
John walks over to the nightstand on his side of the bed and comes back to kneel in front of her. He looks into her eyes and smiles as he pulls out a small, black, velvet square box. Marlena’s hearts jumps into her throat. “John… is that…” Her tears kept her from continuing. John held the closed box in front of her. “This… Marlena is a symbol of my love for you. It is…made of precious metal… and formed in the shape of a circle…which has no beginning… and no end… as my love for you!” Marlena’s tears were flowing with no end in site. John wiped them away as quickly as they fell. “You know… when you went away…my heart…went with you. I would speak your name… in my every prayer. I would pray…everyday…for God to bring you back to me. I am sure that many people thought I was being selfish. Because even with all the blessings that I still had… there was still this emptiness in me…without you here.” John’s tears broke free from his eyes.
Marlena bent down to him and kissed his cheek as their tears mingled together. She could tell that he had more to say so she let him continue. John took a deep breath. “I felt as though my life had ended the day… I thought… you died. I thought to myself, the world can keep on turning, and the sun can keep burning away everyday… or for all I cared it could all fall apart. Because I knew that… deep in my heart…the only dream that mattered to me in this life had already come true… because in this life… I was loved by you.” Marlena got her sobs under control. She stroked John’s cheek as she spoke to him. “Oh…my love. You know… for all the struggles I have had in this life… every mountain I had to climb and every raging river I had to cross…YOU… were the treasure that I longed to find on the other side of all those obstacles. Without your love… I would be lost. Oh John…” She ran her hands through his hair. He kneeled in front of her looking at her with the eyes of a child. After a moment he wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his head in her lap like a lost boy who needed comfort. She stroked his hair as she continued to talk. “It’s so amazing when you think about it. Here we are… after all the years, and tears…after all that we have been through. Here we are looking back in time… I know that we have had other friends and other loves… but the one thing I know without a DOUBT…is that there has been NO other one like you. In all my life… no one has ever known me better. I must have traveled down a thousand roads in my lifetime. I’ve seen so many face, and been so many places…I always felt that I was on my way to something new. But it doesn’t matter…because no matter where I go…every road leads me back to you!” She thinks of their life together for a moment and smiles. “After all these years their is still no one who can make me smile they way you do. And after all this time…you’re the one I still want beside me.” She lifts John’s head from her lap. She notices the trail of tears that has soaked his heated flesh. She tenderly wipes his face. “John nothing in this life is guaranteed… I know… that I won’t live forever… but FOREVER I’ll… be loving you! That is the one thing that God himself couldn’t change!” John wiped her tears away and leaned in towards her and whispered, “That’s a fact!” Then he took her mouth full force. He probed the insides of her mouth with a desperation that he had never felt. All it took was a soft moan that came from deep in Marlena throat and he was over the edge. Before he even realized it he has picked Marlena up out of the chair…her legs had found their rightful place wrapped around his waist. He carried her over to their bed, never breaking contact with her mouth and laid her down as if she was a porcelain doll. He pulled back to look into her eyes, but they were closed tightly. He wiped the hair out of her face and her eyes fluttered open. He brought her left hand up to his mouth and placed a feather light kiss upon her palm. Then he retrieved the gold band from his pocket. He brought the band to his lips and kissed it. He slide the ring on her finger next to her engagement ring. He stared at it for a moment and then he brought her left hand up to his chest to rest over his heart. “Welcome home… Mrs. Black.” She sat up quickly and kissed him with all the passion she held inside. “It’s wonderful to be home…Mr. Black! Now…make love to your wife…the way you do!”
~~~~
John’s hands roamed over Marlena’s body in a painstakingly slow fashion. His eyes followed his fingers as he traced every curve of her body. He gently ran his fingers from the tips of her toes up the delicate curve of her calves. He slowly continued up her thigh rounding her hips. When he reached her waist his roaming fingers came to a stop. He gently unzipped her zipper which laid on her side. He looked up at her, for a signal to continue. When he saw her hooded gaze and the gently nod of her head, he continued his exploration.
Marlena lifted her hips in a desperate need to feel John’s heated flesh on hers. John pulled her skirt down with the barest of ease. Once her glistening skin was exposed to him he started his exploration again. He started at the tip of her toes, but this time he used his lips instead of his fingers. He caressed her body with open mouth kisses, slowly working his way over her calve and when he reached her knee he lifted her leg to rest it upon his shoulder. He began to kiss the inside of her inner thigh which caused Marlena to moan in pleasure. John reached Marlena’s sensitive area and he could smell her arousal for him, which made him want to take his time, and give her all the pleasure she deserved. He continued to kiss his way up her thigh when her reached her most sensitive spot he kissed it gently through her panties. Then without warning he backed away sitting up slightly. He grabbed her other leg and made the same agonizingly slow journey that he made with the other one. Once again reaching Marlena’s arousal he kissed her abdomen lightly and moved upwards. Marlena was writhing beneath John. His slow sensual kisses were nothing more than torture to her. She wanted nothing more than to feel him move inside of her. She wanted him to take her to the highest of passion that only they know. John’s journey made its way to Marlena’s waist but once again his journey was impeded by her tank top. John began to slowly push her tank top upwards kiss each area of newly exposed flesh, which caused Marlena to moan repeatedly.
After a moment she could no longer take John’s exquisite form of torture. She grabbed his head and forcefully brought his lips to hers in a searing kiss. While she had John distracted she rolled him over and straddled him, desperately yanking her tank top over her head. She could feel his arousal twitch beneath her when he noticed that she wasn‘t wearing a bra. His hardness pressed against her and she gasped in delight. She bent down to John and hovered over his mouth. She went to take his lips in a carnal kiss but at the last moment changed her direction and her luscious lips landed on his neck. She sucked and bit his skin gently leaving her mark on him, which made him moan. She moved her hands to unbutton his top, as her mouth claimed ever inch of newly exposed skin. After each button had been undone she bit and sucked at the new heated flesh, branding him with her love. She continued until every button had been undone stopping her trail at the top of his pajama bottoms.
She looked up at him and saw that he was gripping the head board so fiercely that his knuckles were turning white, which showed her that he couldn’t hold back his passion much longer. She scooted down his body gently pulling on his pajama pants. John lifted his hips to aide her in her efforts. When John was free of his encumbering clothing his erection sprung forth, which caused Marlena to moan and lick her lip instinctively. She kissed and licked her way up John’s muscular legs while she gently raked her nails over his heated flesh. Marlena kissed her way up John’s body to the source of his arousal which was twitching with desire. She licked her lips and ever so gently stroked him, she went to take him in her mouth, but before she could John entangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her body flush up against his.
He took owner ship of her mouth, gently sucking on her tongue as it became entangled with his. He rolled her over onto her back. He ran his hands down her body until they came in contact with her panties. Without hesitation Marlena lifted her hips and John slowly removed her panties. After he successfully removed them he ran his large callused hands up the entire length of her body. He entangled his fingers with hers and pinned her arms above her head. He gently lifted himself away from her so he could admire her body. He suddenly took her breast in his mouth. He gently sucked, and kneaded at her breasts which cause Marlena to cry out, “Ohhh….John….mmmmm.” This egged him on further in his exploration of her breasts. He alternated between gently massaging one breast while he kiss and licked and sucked on the other, being sure to give each breast the same amount of attention.
Marlena was struggling to get her hands free from his grasp so she could touch him. She writhed beneath him, bucking her hips against his achingly hard member, which caused John to moan. He released her hands and wrapped his arms around her waist burring his face in between her breasts. Once her hands were free, they made a trail over his shoulder. Dragging her nails down his back and over his firm ass. She gently glided her hand between their heated bodies and began stoking him, “John… please!” Her begging pushed him to the point of no return. His hand gently stroked her face and glided down her body. He slipped his hand between their heated flesh, and within seconds found her wet center. He began to stroke her slowly, which caused her to buck against his hand. When he felt that she was more than ready for him, he grabbed his aching member and guided it towards her welcoming opening. Without warning he let the head of his erection enter her and she cried out with a mixture of pleaser and pain. “Oh…godddd…mmmm.” John stroked her face and looked into her eyes, “Honey… are you okay?” She bit her lower lip and exhaled, “Yes…it’s just…been a while.” She stroked his hair, and gazed into his eyes. “God… I never thought I would feel this again. I never thought that I would feel you… move inside of me again. It feels…so good!” She closed her eyes and savored each moment.
John slowly continued to enter her, a little bit deeper with every stroke. After a few minutes Marlena wrapped her legs around his waist signaling to him that she was ready for him to enter her completely. John noticed the signal and began to take slow deep strokes. As he did he looked deep into Marlena’s eyes piercing her soul, “I am… going to love you… like no other man has ever… or will ever… love you in this life time.” Those words drove Marlena to the highest of passion. She locked her legs around him drawing him into her completely, as if he could touch her very soul. “Oh John….mmm…love me…love me…” After a few more moments their pace became frantic, as they were both coming close to the edge of oblivion. John pounded into her fiercely never taking his eyes off of hers. He wanted to remember this moment and freeze it in his mind. Marlena’s walls began to spasm around John and he knew that she was close. She began to buck against him fiercely, “Mmmm…harder honey…deeper…deeper.” Within second Marlena began to orgasm, which shook her whole body violently. Marlena’s release took John over the edge quickly. He pounded into her a few more times. They came in unison… “Oh Doc….hmmm I love you…” Marlena moaned as John exploded within her, “Oh…Oh John…mmm I love you baby…I love you…” John collapsed on top of Marlena. After a few moments John went to roll off of her but she stopped him. “No…please…stay in me for a while… honey please. I have missed the feel of you for… so long! I’m not ready… to let you go yet.” John bent down and kissed her sweetly, “I love you Marlena… I never want to let you go.” She smiled up at him and ran her fingers through his hair, “Then don’t let me go.” John wrapped his arms around Marlena’s waist and rested his head upon her chest. She looked down at him and kissed the top of his head while she stroked his hair. They laid there in contented silence for several minutes. After a while they drifted off into the most peaceful sleep they had had in over a year.
~~~~
About two hours later John awoke. He turned slightly until he saw Marlena snuggled against his chest. He bent his head and inhaled the sent of her shampoo. His eyes glanced at the clock which read 11:30pm. He exhaled loudly which caused Marlena to stir, “Hmmm John…” John kissed her head, “I’m here Doc…go back to sleep baby.” Comforted by his voice she snuggled back into him and was back to sleep. John slowly extricated him self from Marlena’s grasp and headed for the bathroom. When he came back out he was fully dressed. He walked over to the closet and grabbed a huge duffle bag, which he slung over his shoulder. He walked over to the bed. He stared at Marlena, she had her arms wrapped around his pillow with her face buried in it so she could inhale his sent. He bent down with tears running from his eyes, and laid a gently kiss upon her lips. She didn’t move but a smile came across her face. John stroked her hair and whispered in her ear, “I love you baby.” He pulled away slowly as he heard her mumble, “I love you too honey.” John walked over to his dresser and laid down an envelope. Then without looking back at Marlena he walked out the bedroom door, leaving behind nothing but an envelope which read, “To The Love Of My Life!”
John walked down the pier with his head hung low and the tears flowing freely from his eyes. He continued to chastise himself for making love to Marlena when he knew he wouldn’t be there in the morning. “How could I do that to Doc” he said to himself repeatedly. He was starring out over the water when he heard footsteps approaching, but he paid no attention to who those steps belonged to. Then suddenly he was jolted when he felt a tender hand touch his shoulder. “John?” John spun around and starred at her loving face with tears in his eyes as he spoke to her, “Hey, Sami.” She noticed the tears in his eyes and engulfed him in a hug. “John…you can still change your mind. You don’t have to do this.” He shook his head and pulled away from her. “Yes Sami…I have to do this. I have no choice.” She lead him over to the bench and they sat down. “John didn’t you and mom always drill it in my head that there is ALWAYS another choice?” John sat there starring out over the water while he spoke to his daughter, “Oh…peanut! I am afraid there is no other choice this time. It is just something that I have to do. I hope you understand.” Sami nodded, “Actually I do understand why you feel the need to handle the situation this way. I just don’t think… I don’t think mom will understand it though.” John sighed deeply and hung his head. “Oh man… I am afraid that what happened tonight…will make it even harder for her.” Sami walked up to stand beside him on the waters edge, “What happened tonight?” John just looked at her with a sad smile. Sami took a deep breath, “Uh oh… did you see mom tonight?” John nodded his head, “Yeah… you could say that.” John hesitated slightly, “Well remember when I ran into you all at Salem Place this afternoon? Well I was rather cold and distant with Doc and she asked me what was wrong, and I made up some excuse about being sick. Well long story short… she came over to check on me, and she brought me dinner.” Sami nodded, “Well that doesn’t sound to bad. At least you got to see her…right?” John let out a snort, “Ummm yeah… I got to see her.” Sami looked at John and read the expression on his face quite clearly. “Oh nooo… don’t tell me…” John turned around to face her, “Sami listen…” Sami put her hands up in protest, “No I mean it John… don’t tell me anymore…seriously I don’t want any details. I get the picture.” John ran his fingers through his hair and let out a grunt. “Argggh…I just made a bad situation ten times worse.”
Sami walked over to the bench and sat down. She laid her head in the palm of her hands. “John… I would like to reassure you… but I am afraid that would be a hollow gesture. Mom is going to be devastated when she wakes up to find you gone.” John paces back and forth, “I am well aware of that Sami. I did… leave her a note.” Sami let out a rye chuckle, “Huh… I am afraid that unless you told her in that ‘note’ exactly where you are going and what you are doing… she will find it of little comfort.” Sami began to get frustrated with the situation. “I can’t believe that I got myself involved in this. John… how am I supposed to do this, huh? How am I supposed to see mom in pain and not do anything about it?”
John sat down beside her and gently rubbed her back. “I know peanut…I am sorry I got you stuck in the middle of this. It’s just that… I really need your help.” Sami began to cry softly, “I know that…and I am happy that you trust me enough to help you. It’s just that by helping you…I am hurting mom.” John sighed. “I know and I’m sorry. Listen I understand that this is an awful position to put you in. So… if you feel the need to… you can tell you mother…what I am going to do…although I really whish you wouldn’t. But I am begging of you don’t tell her WHERE I am. I don’t want her to come looking for me. Okay… can you promise me that much?” Sami wiped her tears from her eyes. She took a deep breath and looked at John. She saw a deep sense of pleading and vulnerability that she had never seen before. “Okay…I promise not to tell mom WHERE you are. The rest… I will play by ear. Deal?” John nodded, “Deal peanut.” He hugged her tightly and kissed her on the cheek.
Suddenly they both jumped at the sound of someone approaching them. “John? John it me Roman.” John turned around and looked at him, “Hey Roman…I am just curious are you capable of telling time? You were supposed to be here at midnight…which was thirty minutes ago.” Roman approached them, “You know what John I…” Suddenly he stopped speaking when he saw Sami sitting beside John. “Sami! What…what the hell are you doing here?” Sami just smirked at him and looked over at John. “She is helping me Roman.” Roman’s face turned beat red. “John what the hell are you thinking? How could you get her involved in this… it could be dangerous.” John held is hand up to cut off Romans ranting. “Relax Roman…I would never put her in harms way. She is only helping me with the FIRST part of the plan… the second part she will have nothing to do with.” Roman just stared at him. “John… I don’t understand why you got her involved at all.” John just huffed at him, “Because… you insensitive ass… I would like to have SOMEONE by my side when I do this. And since it can’t be Marlena… well Sami is the next best thing.” John turned to Sami and put his arm around her. Sami hugged him in return, “Besides dad… John needed someone to look after mom… Belle has enough to worry about with Philip being held hostage. And since Eric, Carrie and… Brady aren’t here…John had no one else to turn to.”
Roman just starred at them, “This just make NO sense what so ever. You two can’t even hold a civil conversation most of the time. And all of a sudden you are best buddies?” John just grunted in frustration. “Listen Roman… we don’t have time to argue about this right now. Thanks to you I am way behind schedule. We have to get going, Sami can fill you in later with all the details okay. I have to get a move on so…lets get going. Why don’t you take the stuff to the car and I’ll be there in a minute. I need to talk to Sami.” Roman just huffed as he picked up John’s bag and walked away. John turned to face Sami. He grabbed her shoulders and looked into her eyes. She started to cry and John wiped away her tears as best he could. “Hey hey now peanut…don’t cry. Everything will be okay I promise.” Sami gave John a smile to reassure him and he smiled back. “Now… you remember…I left you in charge of my personal affairs. If something comes up you deal with it as you see fit. I have total faith in you peanut.” Sami started to cry and launched herself into his arms. “Thank you for…believing in me. I will take care of everything… including mom. You have my word.” John smiled and squeezed her tight. “Thank you sweetheart. I feel a lot better knowing that. Just please… make sure you check on your mom first thing tomorrow. She is going to need you.” John pulled away from her and kissed her on the cheek. John stared to walk away when he turned around once more. “I love you…Sami! I will see you soon?” Sami nodded her head and wiped her tears, “That’s a fact!” John smile at the familiar phrase and turned to leave. “John?” John turned once more to face his daughter. “John I… love you too.” That made John smile. He blew her and kiss and then he was gone. Sami sat down on the bench and got a grip on her endless tears. “Oh mom… everything will be okay… I promise.” Sami headed home to get some rest… tomorrow morning was approaching quickly and she is going to need all the sleep she can get.
~~~~
Marlena laid in bed clinging to John’s pillow. She hid her face deeper in the covers as the morning sun invaded the room. When the sun wouldn’t relent Marlena began to stir from her peaceful sleep. As the memories from last night began to invade her conscience mind she smiled broadly. She stretched her arm out over John’s side of the bed hoping to cuddle up next to him, but to her dismay John’s side of the bed was empty. She sat up slowly and surveyed the room, but John was no where in site. She got out of bed and went to the bathroom, but yet again… she saw no sign of her husband. Marlena began to feel panicked. It wasn’t like John not to be beside her when she woke up. Marlena checked the whole penthouse but to no avail…there was no sign of him. She paced the bedroom thinking of where John might be. As she paced something on the dresser caught her eye. She walked over and noticed an envelope that read “To The Love Of My Life”. She smiled to herself, “I knew he wouldn’t leave me here to worry about him without so much as a word.” She took the envelop and crawled back into bed. She opened the letter and before she read it she held it up to her face and inhaled the sent of the paper. Whenever John left her a note he always sprayed it with his cologne because he knew how much Marlena loved his sent. Marlena settled against the headboard and began to read with a smile on her face.
My Dearest Love,
I am sorry that I left without so much as a goodbye but… it is better this way. Actually in all honesty I couldn’t face you. I didn’t want to see the pain in your eyes when I told you that…I was leaving.
Marlena’s breath caught in her through and the smile faded quickly from her face. “Leaving…what… I don’t understand.” She mumbled as she continued to read his letter.
I know you are confused right now baby… and I am so sorry to hurt you like this. There are just some…issues… in my life that I have to take care of. I have to deal with these issues before… they tear us apart. I know that you would have helped me deal with them but… this is something that I had to do… on my own. I know what you must be thinking. I am sure the first thing that popped into that beautiful head of your was Kate. But dear god…honey if you believe nothing else that I am telling you…please believe me when I say that Kate… has nothing to do with why I left. I love you… only you…always YOU!
Marlena was sobbing. There was no way she could control the torrent of tears that were falling from her eyes. She swatted at her tears angrily as she kept reading.
Oh Doc… there is so much I want to say to you. Everyone wants to find a love, someone who will always care. I am so blessed to have found that… in you. I swear sometimes it feels as though you know me by heart. I find it amazing that you love me the way you do, especially after all of the pain I have caused you over the years. Oh honey…I just want you to know that… you are my shinning star. You are the one that guides me, you keep me centered and focused. And because of that I know that I can get through anything… but this is just something I have to get through… on my own!
I know that you probably hate me now… for hurting you like this. Especially because of what happened between us last night. Believe me you couldn’t possible hate me more than I do. Leaving was the hardest thing I ever had to do… especially after the wonderful love we shared together last night. I won’t say that I regret making love to you…because that would be a lie. I just… regret how much I am hurting you now.
I don’t know how long I will be gone for… but I will be back. However… I will understand if you want nothing to do with me…when I return. I just want you to know… that EVERYTHING I am doing is for us. I am doing it to preserve our love… our family… our life together. I love you Doc!
~John
Marlena was sobbing uncontrollable. “How… how could he…leave me. We… were separated for over a year… I just… got him…back. Now he’s… gone again!” Marlena was screaming and crying and sobbing… trying to rid herself of the immense pain she felt.
She was jolted from her crying by the sound of keys unlocking the front door. This brought a slight smile to her face. “I knew it… I knew he couldn’t leave me!”
Marlena jumped from the bed and ran from the room. She made her way downstairs yelling all the way. “John? John… honey I am so glad that you changed your mind… and came back to me!”
Marlena made it down to the bottom step and stopped in her tracks. The smile faded from her face as she noticed that it was Sami… not John who came in the front door. Sami noticed her mother’s knees buckle as she slumped down onto the step. Sami stared at her mother for a moment. Marlena began to cry such heavy sobs she was almost hyperventilating.
Sami rushed over to sit at her moms side. Marlena turned and looked at her. Sami took her mother in her arms and held her tightly. “It’s okay mom… I am here” Marlena cried harder, “JOHN!!! I want… John here!!! I want… him to come back…” Sami didn’t know what to say. She just sat and held her mother. She gently rocked her back and forth and waited for her tears to end… although she feared that there was no end in site.
Sami has been looking for Marlena for hours. Sami had finally got Marlena calmed down after about and hour of non stop crying. While Sami had went upstairs to get Marlena her sweater, Marlena snuck out the door and Sami has been looking for her ever since. After Sami had checked Salem Place, the park, the movies and several other places she was at a loss as to where to look next. She went by the Pub to ask her grandparents if her mother stopped by but they hadn’t seen her. So Sami walked along the pier thinking of places to look for her mother, when she noticed a person sitting at the far end of the pier just starring out over the water.
Sami slowly approached the person, they were wearing a black leather jacket and blue jeans from what she could see. As she walked closer she noticed the blonde hair sticking out over the over sized leather jacket, and realized it was her mother. Sami ran up to Marlena, “Mom! Oh thank God I finally found you!” Sami sat down next to her mother and looked at her for a moment. Marlena just sat there in a trance like state starring out over the water. Sami wasn’t sure what to do so she just kept talking to her mother praying that she would get a response out of her.
“Mom… I know that your hurting and… I know that things seem bad right now but…they will get better. I am sure that John had a good reason for doing what he did.” Sami stopped for a moment but Marlena gave no reply. ”I know how much you love him… and I know for a fact that he loves you! Just keep praying and…” Sami stopped mid sentence when she heard Marlena mutter something, “What mom? What did you just say?”
Marlena kept looking straight ahead when she spoke, “I said that… he was here.” Sami shook her head swearing to herself that she heard Marlena wrong, “Who mom… who was here?” Marlena glanced over at Sami, “John! John was here.” Sami took a deep breath. How could her mother possible know that? Maybe he came back and she ran into him here. “Mom you saw John?” Marlena looked back out over the water and simply shook her head no. Sami was getting really worried. Marlena wasn’t acting like herself at all. Sami put her arm around her mother’s shoulder, “Mom… if you didn’t see John then…what makes you think that he was here?”
Marlena took a deep cleansing breath and wrapped herself more tightly in to the leather jacket. She looked at Sami and smiled, “I can feel it. I can feel him here. He was here recently.” Sami drew in a deep breath. She knew that John and her mom always had a strong connection but this was extraordinary. Sami remembered back to last night when she sat here with John on this very same bench and they talked about him leaving town. How can her mother sense him that strongly? “Mom… maybe you just think John was here. I mean you are missing him and… you are out here wrapped up in his favorite leather jacket. Maybe it is just you…whishing that he was here.” Sami spoke to her in a loving tone but it upset Marlena.
Marlena stood sharply and turned to face Sami. “Samantha don’t talk to me like I am insane. I know what I feel! I have been in love with John for almost twenty years… I can sense his presence… I KNOW that he was here!” Sami stood from the bench at walked towards her mother, “Mom I’m sorry. I am not trying to belittle what you are feeling. It’s just that… I have a hard time believing that you can ‘sense’ John’s presence.” Marlena stared out over the water and spoke to Sami in a much calmer voice. “That is because you have never shared a love like John and I share. You have never loved someone with every fiber of your being. Have you ever loved someone so much that… you catch your breath every time you see them? Have you ever loved someone so much that when ever the phone rings you hope and pray that it is them…because you just want to hear their voice? Have you ever loved someone so much that you… just want to see their face…even though they just walked out of the room five minutes earlier? John and I are connected on a level that is so deep that it is…indescribable! We are so connected that we can practically sense what the other is thinking. We can sense when the other is in danger…or when they are hurting. John knows me better than anyone on this earth… and I know him better than he knows himself!”
Sami had tears in her eyes listening to her mother describe the love that she and John share. “I hope… I hope that I find a love like that some day.” Marlena nodded, “I hope you do too Sami. Because it will be the best gift you ever get.” After a moment Marlena snapped back to reality and started walking away catching Sami off guard. Sami gathered her thing from the bench and ran after her mother. “Mom! Mom… where are you going?” “I am going to find JOHN!” Sami grabbed her mothers arm bring them both to a halt. “Mom… how do you expect to do that? He has quite a head start on you. You know very well that if John doesn’t want to be found… he won’t be!” Marlena busted out crying, “I have to do something! I can’t sit by and LET him walk away from me! I have to fight for him… FOR US!” Sami envelope her mother in a hug. “Mom… according to the letter John wrote he wasn’t walking away from you or your marriage. He just needed some time to deal with some issues that he was having. Just give him some time. Maybe he will contact you some how and then… you can talk to him about coming back.” Marlena kept crying, “I must have done something to drive him away. He must be upset with me about something. I have to find him and convince him that I love him and that we can fix anything… together!” Sami just held her mother, “Mom don’t be silly. I am sure you didn’t do anything that would upset John enough to make him leave.”
After a few minutes of standing there in silence Sami and Marlena heard someone walking down the steps of the pier. Marlena pulled away from Sami and did her best to dry her eyes. Just then she heard a voice call out, “Hey Doc! Hey Peanut… what are you both doing here?” Marlena whipped around and came face to face with Roman. Her blood pressure soared about a hundred points. She just stared at him, “THAT’S IT!” Sami looked at her mother in confusion, “What’s… it mom? What are you talking about?”
Marlena gazed at Roman with contempt written all over her face, “You Bastard! You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut could you?” Roman stood there dumbfounded glancing back and forth between Marlena and Sami. “Doc? What is going on? What are you talking about?” Marlena screamed at him, “YOU! That is what I am talking about. You were just dying to pay me back weren’t you!” “Doc… what the HELL are you talking about? Pay you back for what?”
Marlena stared at him with a snide smile on her face, “You know damn well what I am talking about. You wanted to hurt me and John the same way we hurt you all those years ago. You wanted John to suffer the same way you did, so you told him. Even after you begged me to keep my mouth shut!” Roman was growing furious with Marlena’s rambling, “DAMN IT Marlena… if you are accusing me of something would you spit it out already!”
Sami stood there in shock at the way her mother and father were acting. She wanted to break up the argument, but her mother never let up enough for her to get a word in. Marlena stood in front of Roman her arms firmly folded in front of her chest…and her face growing red with rage. “You know what I am talking about Roman. You told him… you told John what happened in the castle didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU!” Marlena walked away from him and started pacing back and forth. Roman stood there like the wind was knocked out of him. “Marlena…what makes you think I told him?” Marlena whipped around, “Because he left me! He left town… now I know why… it all makes sense!” “Doc…I swear I didn’t say anything.” Marlena took a deep breath to calm herself. She walked up to Roman and stood so close to him that their noses were practically touching, “Roman if I find out that you said anything to John about what happened in that castle…So help me god I will not hesitate to go to Kate and tell her everything! Not that Kate will care one way or the other. Ever since we have gotten home Kate has been to busy drooling all over MY fucking husband to give less than a rats ass about you and what you did while you were gone.” Marlena backed away from Roman and turned to Sami who was standing there with her mouth agape, “Sami… I am going home. Would you come with me please… I could use your help in tracking down John.” Sami just nodded her head because she was at a loss for words. As they turned to leave, Roman put his hand on Marlena’s arm, “Doc…” Marlena yanked her arm away, “DON’T call me that! I swear Roman… if I find out that you are in ANY way responsible for John leaving me… you WILL regret it!” Marlena and Sami walked away leaving Roman standing there. Roman stood there silently cursing John for putting him in this position.
~~~~
About fifteen minutes later Sami and Marlena arrived at the penthouse. Marlena put the key in the door and noticed that it wasn’t locked, “Sami… didn’t you lock up before you left to come and look for me?” Sami looked at Marlena in bewilderment, “Of course I did mom. I set the alarm and I locked the door.” Marlena and Sami tentatively stuck their heads inside the door.
They saw nothing out of the ordinary, so they went inside. Marlena turned behind her and shut the door, when she turned back around she saw someone descending the stairs and she let out a scream. After the shock wore off anger took it’s place, “What the hell do you think you are doing here!” Sami’s anger rose as well, “Yeah Kate…who the hell do you think you are just letting yourself in to my mother home?” Kate began to speak but Marlena cut her off, “You know what… I am not in the mood for this. I am going to the kitchen for something to drink. Be GONE when I get back.” Marlena stormed off to the kitchen. Kate walked up to Sami, “Well I can understand you being a bitch…but what is with Marlena?” Sami gave her a snide smile, “I guess you inspire people Kate. If I were you I would take my mothers advise… and leave before she gets back out here. You picked the wrong day to stop by uninvited.” Kate stood there and folded her arms across her chest determined not to move a muscle. Sami left out a small giggle, “Okay… don’t say that I didn’t warn you. I…actually… can’t wait for my mother to break out a can of whoop ass on you!” Sami walked over to the couch and took a seat. She couldn’t wait for the fireworks to begin once Marlena came back into the room.
Sami sat there staring at Kate with a smile plastered on her face. She was waiting for her mother to come out and tear Kate to shreds…which she knew would happen as soon as Marlena came out of the kitchen, however Kate must not think so or else she wouldn’t still be standing there. Sami just looked at her with an amused look on her face, “Kate…do you have a death wish. I am telling you…you better leave before my mother comes back out here.” Kate looked at Sami snidely, “Please Sami…quit being so melodramatic. Marlena is hardly going to come out here and claw my eyes out.” Sami was about to speak when she heard her mother re-enter from the kitchen just in time to hear what Kate said. Marlena stopped in her tracks at the sound of Kate’s comment, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that Kate! I though that I told you to leave?” Sami stood from the sofa and walked by Kate, “Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”
Marlena walked up to Kate and stopped about two feet in front of her, her hands firmly planted on her hips, “Kate…have you become hard of hearing? Get OUT!” Kate looked at Marlena in shock, “Marlena…what has gotten into you?”
“Nothing has GOTTEN INTO me Kate. I just don’t find it amusing when people break into my home!” Kate gave a rye laugh, “Oh please Marlena I hardly broke in. I have a key.” Kate held it up in front of Marlena’s face. Marlena drew in a deep breath and stared at the key through squinted eyes. Sami looked at her mother and saw that her blood pressure was rising at a dangerously fast rate. Sami glanced at Kate who was still holding the key in front of Marlena’s face. In one swift motion Sami grabbed the key out of Kate’s hand, “There you go…problem solved. Now Kate you have no more excuses for dropping by here uninvited.”
Kate stepped back and looked at Sami with venom in her eyes, “Give that BACK Sami.” Kate went to step towards Sami but Marlena stepped in front of her and blocked her path, ”I don’t think so Kate. There is no longer a need for you to have a key to MY home.”
Kate took a deep breath, “Whether you like it or not Marlena…this was my home. John gave me that key, he wanted me to have it. He WANTED me to live here with him.”
Marlena took a deep breath. She regained her composer and spoke in a calm voice, “That may very well be true Kate. But you see that was because, I wasn’t here! The only reason he wanted you here was to fill up space!” Sami began to laugh, “Good one mom.” Kate turned to Sami, “Shut UP Sami!” Sami stepped up beside Marlena, “Truth hurt Kate? The only reason that John let you into his life was because he felt empty without my mother. You know…John and I may not have always seen eye to eye…but one thing that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that MY mother is his whole life! Of course you already knew that…that is why you used his grief to move in on him.”
Kate began laughing, “Oh please Sami…I hardly forced John to have a relationship with me. He pursued me to!”
Marlena let out a frustrated groan, “Oh really Kate? How exactly did he pursue you? Did he chase you around town in a wheelchair? He was paralyzed Kate…and you used it against him. You used that along with his grief over losing me to your advantage…and you eventually wore him down.”
Kate turned back to Marlena and laughed bitterly in her face, “Get over yourself Marlena! You are hardly irreplaceable!”
Sami fumed at this comment. She walked up to Kate and slightly shoved her away from Marlena, “You see Kate that is where you are mistaken! Personally I think that if you could…you would trade places with my mother in a heart beat.”
Kate huffs, “What on earth would make you think that?”
Sami laughs as she places her arm around her mothers shoulder, “Well just think about it Kate. First we have my father, whom my mother had a relationship with. Then we have my stepfather, whom my mother is currently married too…” Marlena walked away at the mention of Kate and John together. She got caught up in the moment and forgot about John leaving, but it all came crashing back to her in that instance.
However Kate didn’t notice Marlena’s change in demeanor and she continued fighting with Sami. “There are some things that you and your mother ought to know Sami. John is a grown man. If he didn’t want to be with me…he wouldn’t have. I didn’t force him to ask me to move in here. I didn’t force him to propose to me. And I sure as HELL didn’t force him to make love to me…he wanted me as much as I wanted him! Apparently he wanted me more than any of you realize, why else would Marlena have been staying with Belle when she got home? Maybe John wasn‘t as eager to get back to his marriage as you think he was.”
These comments were sending Marlena into a tailspin. Just the though of this vile woman laying her hands on her husband drove Marlena over the edge. Marlena whipped around and was starring daggers at Kate. She walked towards Kate with determined purpose in her step. Out of the corner of her eye Sami saw Marlena approaching and impeded her steps. “Mom…don’t let her get to you.” Marlena laughed bitterly, “Oh on the contrary Sami…I am just going to give Kate the facts. You see Kate…the night we came home…when John found me at the church he BEGGED me to come home with him. I…I am the one who decided to stay with Belle. I wanted to give John time to sort out his feelings even though he had already told me that I was the one that he wanted. Tell me Kate…did John ever come to see you, while I was staying at Belle’s? Hell… did he even call you?” Kate glanced away from and Marlena laughed, “I will take that as a no. You see Kate it is clear to me that John had already made his choice. Actually he made his choice the day he married me back in 1986. You come here into mine and John’s home and tell me that there are some THINGS that I ought to know. You come here and try to convince me… in your not so subtle way… that John doesn’t love me anymore and that I have to let him go. You think in that diluted little brain of yours that you have won John’s heart and his love…but I am here to tell you…you aren’t woman enough to take my man!”
Kate’s jaw drops in shock at the things Marlena is saying to her, “Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are Marlena?”
Sami laughs despite herself, “It appears to me Kate that she is the one telling you like it is!” Marlena let out a laugh and puts her arm around Sami, “You are absolutely right Samantha…that is exactly what I am doing. You see Kate the simple fact of the matter is that women like you are a dime a dozen… you can buy them ANYWHERE! Tell me Kate…what is your going rate these days?” Sami busted out in a fit of laughter, “Oh mom you must have forgotten…Kate is no longer a hooker. She has been downgraded to a Ho!” Marlena giggles, “Well you know Sami the only difference between a hooker and a ho is the fee.”
Kate draws in a deep breath, “I don’t have to stand here and take this from either of you.” Kate turns to leave, but as she does Marlena grabs her arm and spins her back around, “That is where you are wrong Kate. You are going to hear what I have to say whether you like it or not! You think that you are going to swoop in and claim John as your own? Well in order for you to do that I would have to step aside…and I hate to break it to you cupcake…I am not going anywhere! Now I am not saying that John is a saint…because he’s not. And I would be lying if I said that John hasn’t slept with other woman in the past twenty years, obviously he has. However I am going to tell you the same thing that I said to Kristen all those years ago…John can have sex with you because that is ALL that it is, sex…because he makes LOVE to me! John and I love each other on a level that is completely foreign to you. Our connection goes beyond the physical aspect…our souls are connected. I know that you can’t grasp that because you don’t have a soul Kate. You are an empty, shallow shell of a person! THAT is why John could NEVER love you…the way he loves me! Because John and I complete each other…we are two halves of a whole. Now…I suggest that you leave…because I am dangerously close to knocking out your two front teeth…which would limit…your choice in boyfriends!” Marlena takes a deep breath and walks away from Kate before she makes good on her threat.
Sami steps in front of Kate, “You heard her Kate…GET OUT!”
Kate looks over to Marlena who has her back turned to her, “Sami if I were you I would get your mother to a doctor. She sounds like she is loosing it!”
Sami took a deep breath, “Excuse me?”
Kate laughs , “Listen to her Sami! She sounds obsessed with John…it’s not very healthy.”
Marlena whips around and lunges for Kate, “YOU BITCH!”
Sami turns around to catch her mother in mid lunge. Sami does her best to restrain Marlena. Kate folds her arms in front of her with a look of humor plastered on her face, “See what I mean Sami. All of your mothers troubles have defiantly had a lasting effect on her. She needs help!”
Marlena tugs her self out of Sami’s grasp. She takes a few deep breaths and speaks to Kate in a low tone that almost sounds like a growl, “You are right about one thing Kate. I am NOT the same Marlena that was kidnapped a few years ago. I am not the same Marlena that will put her feelings aside to make others happy. I am NOT the same Marlena that lets people walk all over her. This Marlena is sick and TIRED of letting other people tear her life apart. THIS Marlena is going to fight like HELL to keep her family together. I am not going to let anyone…ANYONE take away the man that I love again! Especially…some low rent hooker like you! Oh and one more word of advise for you Kate…if you continue to screw with my children…ANY of my children…I will make sure that you live to regret it! Now get the HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!” After saying that Marlena stormed up the stairs, went into her room and slammed the door.
Sami turned back to Kate, “It seems that you have been warned Kate. The Brady/Black family…doesn’t give up on the people they love. So if you fuck with my family…you will regret it.” Kate looked and Sami rolled her eyes then turned on her heels and walked out the door. Sami took a deep breath and plopped down on the sofa. She thought back to the hell that her mother just unleashed on Kate. “This is not good. If that outburst was any indication, the next few months are going to be hell on mom. I hope that John changes his mind and comes home. I don’t think mom can handle this.”
It has been a few days since John has left town. Marlena hasn’t been herself at all. She has been moping around the penthouse most usually in her pajamas. That is when she actually makes a conscience effort to get out of bed. She hasn’t been outside of the penthouse since the day John left her all alone. Sami has done everything she can think of to get her mothers mind off of John but nothing seems to work. Most of the time Marlena wont even talk she just walks about like she is in a fog.
Sami is outside the penthouse door with her bags in hand. She has decided to stay with Marlena until John comes home. Marlena is very fragile right now and should not be left alone. Sami is about to put her key in the door when her cell phone rings, “Hello…hey dad thank god you finally got back to me…no mom is still walking around like a zombie… I just went home and packed up some stuff so I can stay with her, she shouldn’t be alone right now… have you talked to John…no I haven’t either. I was going to go see him but they said he can’t have visitors right now…what do you mean “Why was I going to see him” I don’t know what to do about mom…well do you have any suggestions… you are no help what so ever. Listen I will talk to you later…because I am standing out in the hallway like an idiot…never mind dad I will take care of mom myself…if you want to help me than keep Kate the hell away from here…I am not getting into this right now…BYE!” Sami slammed her cell phone back into her purse. She took a deep breath and composed herself as she opened the door.
Sami walked in and placed her bags by the door. When she turned around she was surprised to see Marlena sitting on the sofa. Sami thought that this was a step in the right direction, at least Marlena was out of her room and actually dressed, well dressed in a jogging out fit of John’s… but at least they weren’t pajamas. Sami walked up to the sofa behind Marlena, “Hey mom…what are you doing?” Sami heard no reply, so she walked around the sofa and sat next to Marlena.
Marlena was starring blankly at a photo album with no distinguishable expression on her face. Sami gently grabbed the photo album and removed it from her mothers hands. This brought Marlena out of her fog. She looked over at Sami and spoke in a monotone voice, “Samantha…what are you doing here?” Sami smiled at her mother sweetly and wiped a few strands of hair out of her face as she talked to her, “Remember mom…I told you I was going to get some things from my apartment and come back and stay here with you for a while?” Marlena shook her head in reply, “That isn’t necessary Sami, I am fine. Besides…I am afraid that I am not very good company these days.”
Sami smiled at her, “I am not here for you to entertain me mom…I am here to take care of you.” Marlena took back the photo album from Sami and stared at it while talking to her, “With all due respect Sami…it’s not your job to take care of me.”
“I know that it isn’t my job mom…but John would…” Sami didn’t finish her sentence because she didn’t want to upset Marlena by brining up John’s name. But it seemed to have the opposite effect on Marlena. Her face lit up at the mere mention of John’s name, “What Sami…John would what?”
Sami took a deep breath, “Well…he would want me…to look after you…take care of you.”
Marlena let out a huff, “Sami you don’t have the first clue as to what John would want…you hated him! Please don’t pretend otherwise.”
Sami sat up ram rod straight, “THAT is NOT true! I have never hated John!”
“Well if you never hated John then you are one HELL of an actress. Ever since we got married… the only things I have heard you say towards John are hateful words and rude comments.”
Sami let out a sigh, “Ugghh…I know that I gave a fairly good imitation of hating John…but I never really did. I haven’t told you this…because things have been so crazy as of late but…well…John and I…made peace.”
That comment brought Marlena out of her fog, “You talked to John…what…when…”
Sami waived her hands at Marlena, “Mom calm down…”
“Don’t tell me to calm down…when did you see John?”
Sami got up and started to pace back and forth, “Well…remember the day that I ripped into John at Salem Place?” Marlena nodded. “Well after that I went down to the docks. I was just sitting there feeling sorry for myself. I kept remembering the hurt look on your face…and I felt awful for hurting you the way I did. Anyways…long story short…John showed up and we talked. I mean REALLY talked. He pretty much set me straight…on something’s! He let me talk about where all my anger at him was coming from…and we settled it…once and for all!”
Marlena looked at her in surprise, “Really? I mean you REALLY settled everything?”
Sami nodded, “Everything! It was almost like old times…when I thought he was my dad. We had a really good talk mom! John and I are really okay.”
Marlena let out a deep breathe that she felt like she had been holding for years, “Oh Sami girl…you have no idea the joy that brings to my heart.”
Sami smiled and walked back over to sit next to Marlena who was again leafing through the photo album, “Mom…why are you looking at the old photo albums? I mean…I know that you are missing John but…doesn’t this just make it worse?”
Marlena let out a small giggle and laid her hand gently over her heart, “Oh no sweetie…this makes it better in someway. Makes me feel like John is right here with me…where he was meant to be!” A huge smile spread across Sami’s face. Marlena starred at her in suspicion, Sami had that gleam in her eye, that same gleam John got when he was up to something, “Okay…what’s going on inside that head of yours Samantha Gene? What are you up to?”
Sami laughed at her, “What makes you think I am up to something?”
Marlena smirked, “Because…any time John was up to something he would get that same glimmer in his eyes.”
Sami laughed, “Well what can I say…I take after my father.” Marlena’s heart warmed at Sami referring to John as her father. “Actually mom I wasn’t planning anything…I just had an idea.”
Marlena’s face lit up at the smile on Sami’s face, “Oh yeah…what is this idea of yours peanut?”
“Well truth be known… I am missing John too…and I KNOW that you are missing him. So…why don’t we get into some comfy pj’s…order some Chinese food…get all snuggled up in your bed and go through some family photo’s…what do you say?” Sami was truly excited as she was bouncing up and down on the sofa like a kid on Christmas morning.
An enormous smile exploded on Marlena’s face, “I say… you through in some ice cream and you have yourself a deal peanut!”
Sami stuck out her hand and Marlena shook it, when Marlena took Sami’s hand she pulled her mother up off the sofa, “So mom what are we waiting for…let’s go!” Sami took of running up the stairs with Marlena hot on her heels.
~~~~~
A few hours later Sami and Marlena were still snuggled up in Marlena’s bed looking at pictures. They were having a great time looking back on the time when they were a happy family, Marlena, John, Carrie, Eric and Sami. Some pictures made them laugh and some made them cry, but all in all they were great memories. Sami was laughing so hard she almost had tears in her eyes, “Oh gosh mom do you remember this one?” Sami was showing her a picture of a dog house.
Marlena smiled but shook her head, “A dog house? That doesn’t ring any bells.”
Sami continued to laugh, “Oh mom…how could you forget this. Remember John had wanted to get us a dog. And you told him no because you didn’t want a dog in the house…and he said that was okay because the dog would stay outside…but you still said no because we had no doghouse and it was cruel to have a dog sleep outside without one. But John said “oh nonsense it’s just a dog”. So the next day John brought a dog home even though you told him not too.” Sami started to laugh harder and had a hard time talking. “I will never forget the look on your face. You were sooo pissed! So to prove your point about how cruel it was for a dog to sleep outside without a doghouse…ha ha… you made John sleep outside that night.”
Marlena busted out into a fit of laughter, “Oh yeah…now I remember. The next day…John built that dog a doghouse all by himself!” Marlena and Sami continued to laugh as the flipped through the book. They came upon some birthday pictures of Sami and Eric with John. It was one of their birthday pictures…one of the many birthdays that Marlena wasn’t there to share with them. Marlena raised her hand to her mouth to muffle a cry.
Sami noticed this and wrapped her arm around her mothers shoulder, “Mom…lets just skip these. I know those are painful pictures to look at.”
Marlena shook her head, “Were these happy times for you? Did you all have a good life while I wasn’t here?”
Sami started to sniffle, “Well…I wont lie…it was really hard without having you there. John was always so sad, and often me and Eric and Carrie would catch him crying when he thought no one was paying attention. But for me and Eric and Carrie…John always did his very best to give us a good and happy life. He would play tea party with me…and baseball with Eric…and he was forever taking Carrie somewhere, either to the mall or her friends house. He did everything in his power to make us happy.” Marlena smiled and stroked Sami’s cheek. Marlena continued to flip through the book when suddenly she heard a knock on the front door. Sami waived her hand dismissively, “Let’s ignore it…they will go away.”
Marlena sprang out of bed and put her robe on, “No…no it could be about John.” She took off down the stairs.
Marlena had a smile plastered on her face, hoping against hope that it was someone with news about John. Marlena wrenched the door open, “Oh…Mickey…hello. Umm what brings you by?”
Mickey walked through the door after Marlena waived him in, “I am so sorry to bother you Marlena. But I have been trying to reach Sami…is she here by any chance?”
Marlena looked at him a bit shocked, “Oh…uh yes she is as a matter of fact.” Marlena walked toward the stairs, yelling, “Samantha…Mickey is here to see you!”
After a moment Sami came bounding down the stairs and walked over to Mickey eyeing him curiously, “Hey Mickey…what can I do for you?”
Mickey look at Marlena and then back at Sami, “I umm…I have some papers that need your signature. You know…the papers you called me about”
Sami’s face finally registers what Mickey means, “Oh sure…why don’t we step out in the hallway for a minute.” She turns to Marlena, “This will only take a minute mom.” Sami and Mickey walk out into the hall leaving Marlena there to wonder what the hell is going on. Sami shuts the door behind her, “You didn’t say anything to my mother did you?”
Mickey shakes his head no, “No Sami…I did just as John requested. I drew up the papers and didn’t breath a word about it. Now if you will sign right here and right here…it will all be official.”
Sami holds out her hand to Mickey, “Can I use your pen?”
Mickey pats his pocket, “I don’t have one…don’t you have one?”
Sami pats her pajamas sarcastically, “Gee sorry…I must have left my pen in my other pair of pajamas!” Sami opens the door to the penthouse and see that Marlena isn’t in site. Sami walks over to the desk rifling around for a pen.
She finds one and begins to sign in the necessary places when Marlena walks up behind her, “What are you signing Sami?”
Sami jumps slightly and puts her hand to her chest, “For crying out loud mom. This…this isn’t anything you need to worry about.”
Marlena walks beside Sami and bends down to see what she is signing, and before Marlena can see Sami yanks it away, “Samantha Gene! If it isn’t anything important…them let me see it!”
Sami shakes her head no. She turns to Mickey and hands him the papers, but before Mickey grabs hold of them Marlena yanks them out of Sami’s hand. Sami tries to grab them back, “Mom! Give me those!”
Marlena held up her hand for Sami to stop while she is reading. Sami looks at Mickey and shrugs her shoulders in defeat. Marlena continues to read and suddenly her mouth fall agape, “Samantha Gene Brady! Do you want to tell me exactly what the HELL this is!” She says as she hold the papers up in front of Sami’s face.
Sami shrugs, “I venture to say that they are exactly what they look like mother.”
Malrena’s face reddens with anger, “Don’t be flip with me Sami. I can’t believe you…” She hold up the papers in front of Sami, “John’s power of attorney! How could you do something like this! After all that talk about you and John making peace…you turn around and try to rip him off! Ugh…if John knew what you were doing…it would break his HEART!” Sami looked away and mumbled something. Marlena leaned closer straining to hear what she said, “What was that…what did you say?”
Sami knew that she could no longer lie to her mother…she had to tell her the truth…well at least as much of the truth as she needed to know, “I said that…John…well…he does know! He knows about the power of attorney papers…they were HIS idea!”
Marlena stumbles back slightly as if the wind has been knocked out of her, “His…this was John’s idea?” She stops to think for a minute. Then suddenly the light dawns. She whips around to face Sami, “Then that means that…you knew! You KNEW…that John was planning to leave! You knew that he was leaving town…and you did NOTHING to try and stop him!” Marlena walks away from Sami and heads toward the balcony.
Sami gives Mickey the papers, “Go ahead and file them…call me if there is anything else.” Mickey nodded at her silently and left.
Sami walks over to Marlena and places her hand on her mothers shoulder, “Mom…let me explain!”
Marlena shrugs Sami’s hand off her shoulders, “Explain? Explain what…how you knew that my husband was going to walk away from me and our life…and you didn’t even have the decency to WARN me…so that I could try to stop him!” Marlena was starting to cry…in big convulsing sobs.
Sami was getting worried…Marlena was crying so hard that she was having difficulty catching her breath, “Mom…mom please calm down. I am sorry…I am sorry that I lied to you. But I felt that I had to help John. We had just mended fences…I didn’t want to let him down!”
Marlena looks at Sami with tears pouring down her face, “That’s just great Sami…you mend fences with John…and then you turn around and burn your bridges with ME! HOW…how could you sit by and do this to me…knowing full well that it would KILL ME to see John leave!” Marlena is having a hard time breathing from crying so hard…when suddenly she grabs her chest…and falls to her knees.
Sami is by her side in a heart beat, “MOM! Oh my god…mom are you okay…what’s wrong?” Marlena tries to speak but she cant catch her breath. Sami starts to get off the ground, “I am calling 911!”
Suddenly Marlena grabs her hand, “NO!…It’s not me. I am…I am fine…”
Sami looks at her, “How…can you be fine…you just grabbed your chest…you are having pains mom!”
Marlena shakes her head no, “NO…it’s not me…it’s JOHN! There is something wrong…I can FEEL IT! Sami…you have to do something…John is in trouble!”
Sami looks around the room…thinking about what to do. She feels like her feet are made of lead and she can’t move. She goes to Marlena and takes her mothers crumpled figure into her arms and tries to calm her down “Don’t worry mom. It will be okay…John will be okay! Don’t worry…we will figure out something!”
Marlena still sat on the floor clutching her chest. Her crying had slowed down and she was no longer gasping for breath. Sami had just hung up the phone and walked over to her mother. “Mom…dad is on his way!”
Marlena shot a quick look up to Sami from her position on the floor, “Why? Sami I don’t want Roman here…we have to get to John…there is something wrong with him…I can…I can feel it!”
Sami kneeled down beside her mother and stroked her hair. “I know mom…that is why dad is coming over. If you want me to see if John is okay…then I am going to have to leave for a while…and I don’t want you to be alone.”
After a second of listening to Sami talk it suddenly registered in her head what Sami actually said. “Wait…wait a minute…you said that you were going to see if John was okay?” She looked at Sami and Sami nodded to her and Marlena’s mouth dropped open. “Then that means…you know where he is!” Sami realized her slip of tongue and walked away from Marlena to try and avoid any further questions but Marlena was determined…and followed Sami where ever she went. Marlena’s voice came out with a mighty roar, “Answer me SAMANTHA! You know what is going on…DON’T YOU!”
Sami had enough of the lies, and she couldn’t stand how much she was hurting her mother. “YES! Yes mom…I know where John is…and why he left.” Sami hung her head and walked away from her mother.
Roman came in the door and stopped at the sound of Marlena’s voice. She was in a rage and Roman had never seen her like that. He watched her for a moment as she continued to scream at Sami. “Samantha Gene Brady…you are going to take me to my husband RIGHT THIS INSTANT! There is something wrong with him…isn’t there….ISN”T THERE!”
Suddenly Roman came in and slammed the door, “That is enough DOC! I know that you are frustrated and worried…but taking it out on Sami isn’t making it any better.”
Marlena looked at Roman…as his words began to make sense to her the rage in Marlena’s eyes began to fade. She looked over to Sami who was sitting on the sofa crying, and it broke Marlena’s heart. Marlena walked over to Sami and knelt in front of her on the ground, “Sami? Sami girl…I am sorry! Baby I am so sorry for taking this out on you. It’s just that I miss John so desperately…and I know in my heart that…something it wrong. I guess I was just a little hurt and…jealous that you know where he is and what is going on and…I don’t”
Sami took a deep breathe and looked at her mother. “Mom…I know that you are hurt and scared…and I know that I am part of the reason why…I am really sorry. You just have to understand…all you have ever asked of me was to try and get the bond back that I had with John…that is all you have ever wanted…and in all honesty I have always wanted that bond back too. And when John and I made up and he asked for my help…I jumped at the chance, because it meant that he trusted me. I am begging you mom…please… PLEASE don’t make me break John’s faith and trust in me.”
Marlena wiped her daughters tears away and then proceeded to wipe her own away. She tilted Sami’s chin up to look her in the eye. “Alright I wont ask you to break your word to John…on one condition!”
Sami smiled slightly, “What is it?”
Marlena took a deep breath. She sat next to her daughter on the sofa. “Well here it is. Once you have made sure that John is okay I want you to give him a little message for me. I want you to tell him…that he had better make contact with me in some way, shape or form! I want him to tell me how he is…and what is going on…and if he doesn’t…I will track him down…one way or another!”
Sami let out a little giggle, “I’ll tell ya what mom…I will do you one better. If he doesn’t make contact with you and tell you what is going on…I will take you to him myself…and I will tell John as much!” Sami extends her hand to her mother, “Deal?”
Marlena smiles and shakes her hand, “DEAL! Now get out of here and make sure the love of my life is alright.” Sami gave her mother a hug and a kiss and left to see John.
~~~~~
A few hours later Sami arrived at the clinic where John had checked himself in. She went up to the desk, “Excuse me nurse…I am here to see John Black!”
The nurse eyed her suspiciously, “I am sorry…but he can’t have visitors right now!”
Sami eyes shot fire at her. “Well excuse me…but the last time I checked this was a clinic…not a prison. John Black is my father…and I know that something is wrong with him. Now as I see it you have two choices. Either you can take me to see him…or…I will buy this damn clinic…and fire you! Which choice do you pick!” A few seconds later the nurse was leading Sami to John’s room.
They get to the door and the nurse stops Sami, “I have to ask you not to stay long. He has been through one hell of an ordeal and he needs his rest.”
Sami nodded at her and went into John’s room. She stood next to his bed looking down at her childhood hero and began to cry. John was pale and his skin was clammy. His face was covered in the beginnings of a beard. She began to cry harder and covered her mouth so as not to disturb John, but it was to late, “Doc?”
Sami eye’s lit up slightly, “No John…it’s me Sami.”
John squinted through sore eyes and smiled weakly, “Peanut…what are you doing here? How did you get them to let you in?”
Sami sat on the side of his bed and gently grabbed his hand, “Let’s just say that…the nurse couldn’t resist my charm.”
John began to laugh causing him slight pain as he grabbed his stomach, “Hmmm I bet. Sometimes I think that you are too much like me for your own good peanut. So why brings you by?”
Sami hesitated for a moment, “John…something happened to you today…didn’t it?”
John looked at her in shock, “What…who…who told you?”
Sami smiled weakly, “Mom…mom told me.” J
ohn looked at her with confusion, “Sami…honey what are you talking about?”
Sami got off the bed and began to pace the floor. She told him of the argument her and Marlena were having when Marlena collapsed on the floor clutching her chest. “And then I was going to call 911 and she told me that she was fine…she said that it was you who was in trouble…she knew it…she could FEEL it!” John smiled to himself thinking of the undeniable connection and bond that he and Marlena have. Sami saw his smile, “John I don’t mean to burst your bubble but there is nothing to smile about. Mom was ready to rip my head off when she found out that I knew where you were and why you left in the first place.”
“You told her Sami?”
Sami shook her head, “No…I didn’t tell her…and I don’t have to…because YOU are going to tell her.” John shook his head no vehemently. Sami stood beside him looking at him intently, “Oh…yes you are! I have a little message for you from the love of your life. And I quote, ‘he had better make contact with me in some way, shape or form! I want him to tell me how he is…and what is going on…and if he doesn’t…I will track him down…one way or another!’ You have to tell her what is going on John…and if you don’t’ tell her she wont have to track you down…because I will bring her here myself!”
John sat up in the bed, “But Sami…”
Sami sat across from him and took his hand in hers. “John I know why you didn’t want to tell mom what is going on. But it is tearing her apart. It is hard enough for her that you left…but now in her heart…she knows something is wrong with you…and it is killing her. Please…I am begging you tell her what is going on with you.”
Sami began to cry and John enveloped her in a hug, “Okay…okay I will tell her. How about I write her a letter…explaining what is going on with me…okay?”
Sami nodded and got her tears under control. “Thank you John. I’ll tell you what…I am going to go for a little walk and give you some time…Okay?”
John nodded and kissed her on the cheek, and then she left the room. John leaned over and got a pad of paper and a pen out of the draw in his bedside table. He stared at it for a few moments…and then began to write…Dear Doc….”
Marlena and Belle are sitting in the living room when the front door opened… and Sami walked in. Marlena and Belle rose quickly from their spots and rushed to Sami…bombarding her with a million questions. Sami held up her hands, “Whoa…calm down…I will tell you everything. Just give me a minute.”
Marlena and Belle backed off and went and sat back down on the sofa. Sami gathered her wits about her…took a deep breath and sat across from them on the other sofa. She sat there thinking of what to say…but she never got the time to formulate her thoughts because Marlena’s worry took over, “Sami…how is he? Is he okay?”
Sami looked at her mother, “He, will be fine mom.”
Marlena looked at Sami in confusion, “What does that mean…he will be fine? What happened to him…and don’t tell me nothing happened…because I felt it…I know that something happened to him…”
Sami couldn’t take the tensions and she yelled not really meaning to , “MOM! If you would give me a minute…I will tell you what I know!”
Belle looked at Sami in anger after she yelled at their mother, “Don’t talk to mom like that Sami! You know how hard this has been on her since dad left.”
Sami returned Belle’s angry stare, “Well…it hasn’t been a bed of roses for me either Belle. If you would both just please be quite for five minutes I will tell you what I know.” Marlena and Belle both nodded in compliance and sat there quietly waiting for Sami to continue…after a moment Sami took a deep breath and began. “Well first off…the nurse wasn’t going to let me in to see him…but needless to say I made her see things my way.” Marlena and Belle both snickered and then Sami continued. “Anyways…when I got there John was sleeping. He was very…pale and his skin was clammy. I sat there starring at him…and I started crying. My crying must have woken him up because he woke up and said ’Doc…is that you?’ ”
That brought a slight smile to Marlena’s face even though she was crying softly. Belle looked back and forth between her mother and Sami, “Sami…this is all well and good…but could you please just tell us what happened to dad? You have got me really scared here.”
Sami took another deep breath, “Belle… I don’t know what happened to dad. He didn’t tell me.”
This caught Marlena’s attention and she rose to her feet, “That is it! You are taking me to him RIGHT NOW!” Marlena walked toward the desk to grab her coat from the chair.
Sami sat back on the sofa and let out a frustrated groan, “For crying out loud mom…if you would let me finish!” Marlena whipped around and saw Sami approach her, “I told John that I didn’t want to know what had happened to him…I told him that his WIFE should be the first to know.”
Marlena let out a frustrated groan, “Sami…what are you talking about?”
Sami grinned, “Well if you would let me get a word in edge wise…you would know what I am talking about. John was about to tell me what happened…and then I passed along your little message to him. I told him that he should be telling YOU what happened…not ME.” Sami walked over to the coat rack and retrieved something out of her coat pocket and walked back over to her mother. She handed her mother an envelope, “Here! That is was took me so long…I gave John time to write you a letter. This letter should explain everything mom…why he left, and what happened to him today.”
Marlena looked at the letter and smiled awkwardly, “But Sami…what if he doesn’t tell me the whole truth. What if he tries to protect me from the truth?”
Sami smiled slightly, “I told John that if he held anything back from you…I would bring you to see him tomorrow and you would get the truth out of him one way or another.”
Belle laughed slightly, “Well…that should scare the truth out of him.” They all laughed. Marlena just stared at the envelope…anxious to see John’s writing and read his words. Belle and Sami glanced at their mother and then at each other. Sami smiled at her sister, “Hey Belle…what do you say we go and…catch a movie?”
Belle looked at Sami strangely, “Sami it is almost 11pm.”
Sami looked at Belle, “Well last time I checked you didn’t have a curfew Belle.” Sami raised her eyebrows at her sister and then glanced at their mother. Belle finally understood that Sami was trying to give Marlena some time alone to read the letter that her husband sent…and Belle nodded at Sami. “Good idea Sami…I could use an hour or two to get my mind off of worrying about Philip. Let’s go!” Sami and Belle gathered their coats and walked over to their mother. Sami touched her mothers shoulder and brought Marlena out of her fog. “Mom…Belle and I are going to go to the movies. I will probably stay over her place tonight. I will be back first thing in the morning…okay.” Marlena just nodded absently. The girls kissed their mother on the cheek and left.
Marlena was sitting in bed and just starring at the envelope which simply read “Doc!”. She was afraid to read the words that her husband had written. She was afraid to read the reason why her husband had up and vanished…leaving her all alone…ever since he left, she had feared that he had found out about her and Roman and that is why he left. After the girls had left Marlena took a quick shower…got into one of John’s t-shirts…and she climbed into their bed…and snuggled up to John’s pillow. After calming her self down…she finally opened the letter.
Dear Doc,
Oh Doc…I don’t even know where to begin. I am so sorry that I hurt you this way…I honestly thought that it was for the best. I am also sorry that I got Sami involved in my problems…I wouldn’t be surprised if she hates me all over again now. Anyways…Sami told me that I needed to tell you what was going on with me. She told me that you felt I was in pain today. She said that you collapsed and everything…oh honey I am so sorry. I never want you to feel pain sweetheart…especially not the pain that I am going through.
The damn burst and Marlena could no longer control her tears. What she feared earlier was true…there was something wrong with John.
There is no easy way to tell you this Doc…so I had just better spit it out. I am a…dr…drug addict Marlena!
Marlena let out a sharp gasp…she brought her hand to cover her mouth to stifle her agonizing cry’s.
I am sorry I was such a coward honey. I know that I should have told you the truth when you first came back home to me…but I couldn’t let you see what I had become without you. I couldn’t bare the fact that I was no longer the man you fell in love with all those years ago. When I made it back home from the island…and you didn’t… it killed my soul. Between the pain of losing you and my back pain…Doc I just wanted to die. I gave up on life…because you weren’t here to share it with me. I know that there is no excuse for what I have become since I thought that you died…but that was the way I felt. I am so sorry I let you down…again!
Marlena was sobbing endless tears, “Oh…John! Nothing…nothing could ever change the way I love you. You could never disappoint me.”
So many times Doc…so many times you would come to me… whether it was in my dreams…or a hallucination…you would come to me and try to help me pull myself together. It would raise my spirits to the sky…and then I would wake up or the hallucination would fade away…and there I was…all alone again. Well…after taking enough drugs to get through my physical therapy…my back finally began to heal. Once I was up and around again…no one could tell that there was anything wrong with me. So I figured that it wasn’t that bad…and since no one could tell…I kept taking the drugs. Then after feeling dead inside for so long… my heart began to beat again…the day I saw you at the airport. Oh Doc…it was like the blackness faded away and everything was in color once again…my heart and soul were given back to me that day…the day you came home. And the moment I held you in my arms…I felt so unworthy of you. I felt so ashamed that you had to come home to a man…who was a mere shadow of the man you married. And in that moment…I decided that this was what I had to do. I had to do everything in my power to become the man that you fell in love with and married…and I couldn’t put that burden on you honey. You had just been through months of your own personal hell…there was NO WAY I was going to pile my problems on top of that. That is why I left Doc…this was something I had to do…on my own! I made a mess out of my life…there was no way I was going to let you clean up my mess.
By now Marlena had stopped trying to wipe away her tears…they were falling too fast to keep up.
That brings us to today. I guess by now you have figured out that I am here…going through rehab. I know you are probably cursing my name as you read this…I know that you want to be with me…helping me through this Doc…but I couldn’t bare to see you watching me go through withdrawal. Being a doctor you know that de-tox is a painful process…and I know that you would feel awful knowing that there was nothing you could do to help me. But then again…I guess you ARE feeling my pain. When Sami told me what happened to you today…as selfish as it is…I had to smile. I had forgotten what it was like to be so connected to someone…so connected that you can read their mind…and feel their pain. I can see that our time apart hasn’t broken that bond we have…because today you were feeling my pain…I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for that. My de-toxing is coming to an end…and today was an extremely bad day…I started hyperventilating and I went into a panic attack…that is what you felt today! Please don’t worry to much sweetheart…the doctors said that I am fine.
Well I better bring this letter to an end. I know that I have no right to ask a favor of you Doc but please…don’t come here! I know that I have hurt you terribly by leaving the way that I did…and for that I am truly sorry. But…I don’t want you to see me like this. When I am back to the man I use to be…the man you loved…I will come home…and I will take whatever you have to dish out. I don’t know if you will be able to forgive me for the way I have hurt and disappointed you…but I promise you that I will accept whatever decision you make regarding our future. You have ever right to hate me…and I wouldn’t blame you if you do. My only defense is that I did this because I love you. I am doing this so I can once again be a man who is worthy of you…and your love. I swear to you Doc…I will be that man once again!
Love John
Marlena fell back onto the pillows feeling emotionally spent. Her eyes were puffy and almost swollen shut from the torrent of tears that seemed never ending. She glanced over to John’s night stand and saw a picture of their wedding day. She grabbed the picture and laid it upon John’s pillow. She ran her fingers over John’s face and spoke to him as if he was lying next to her. “Oh…my love. I wish I was with you right now…holding your hand.”
Then the shrill ring of the phone startled Marlena and caused her to jump. She looked at the clock and saw that it was close to midnight. She figured that Sami or Belle was calling to check up on her. She sat up in bed and laid their wedding picture in her lap. She dried her eyes, took a deep breath and answered the phone, “Hello?” after a moment the person spoke wearily, “Did I wake you?”
Marlena gasped and a smile exploded across her face, “JOHN!”
Then the shrill ring of the phone startled Marlena and caused her to jump. She looked at the clock and saw that it was close to midnight. She figured that Sami or Belle was calling to check up on her. She sat up in bed and laid their wedding picture in her lap. She dried her eyes, took a deep breath and answered the phone, “Hello?” after a moment the person spoke wearily, “Did I wake you?” Marlena gasped and a smile exploded across her face, “JOHN!”
There was a silence on the other end of the phone and Marlena was frantic that he had hung up, “JOHN? John…honey are you still there?”
He let out a slow sigh, “Yeah…I am here doc.” Marlena took in a long ragged breath trying to slow her tears. John knew her so well…he could tell by the rhythm of her breathing that she was crying, “Doc…doc baby please don’t cry.”
Marlena let out a small giggle, “How did you know I was crying?”
John grunted, “I have come to know you better than I know myself. I noticed the slight change in your breathing, and that slight hiccup after you take a deep breath…you always do that when you cry.” John took a deep breath and was about to speak again but stopped himself.
Marlena noticed his hesitation and called him on it, “John what is it…what were you going to say?”
John giggled slightly, “Now…what make you think that I was going to say something?”
Marlena sighed, “Well like you said, we know each other better than we know ourselves. I heard the sigh in your breathing, which is always a tell tail sign that you are hesitating about something.” J
ohn gave a hearty laugh, “Oh doc…I was just going to say that…I miss you.”
A smile formed on Marlena’s face, “Now why would you be hesitant to tell me that of all things?”
“Because I have no right to miss you…since it is my fault that we are apart. In all honesty…I can’t believe that you are even talking to me…”
Marlena wiped away yet another tear, “Sweetheart…there is nothing I wanted more right now…than to hear your voice. I just read your letter. Thank you for doing as I asked…thank you for telling me the truth about what is going on.”
John had to laugh, “Well you really didn’t give me much of a choice there did you doc? Sami came tearing in here and told me that you were going to hunt me down and pretty much kick my ass if I didn’t tell you.”
Marlena laughed as she pictured Sami laying down the law, “Well…Sami tends to be a bit dramatic.”
“Oh…so you weren’t planning to beat some sense into me.”
Marlena let out a laugh, “Oh don’t get me wrong…I still plan to kick your ass when you get home. You think you are up to that?”
John got a sly smile on his face, “Well…that depends on the sprit in which it is delivered.”
Marlena’s smile spread from ear to ear, “Well…lets just say that…I plan to kick your ass…with all the love, desire and pent up passion that I have in my heart for you.”
John laughed, “Oh damn…I better stay here for awhile and build up my strength…because it sounds like I am in for some…serious trouble.”
Marlena became somber once again, “Honey…how are you feeling…is it really bad?”
John took a deep breath and adjusted himself in bed, “Don’t worry about me doc. I am doing just fine.”
Marlena wiped away another stray tear, “John…I want to see you…I want to be there to hold your hand…and wipe the hair out of your beautiful face while you sleep…I want to help you honey.”
John took a lingering breath, “Sweetheart…I know you want to be here with me…and nothing would make me happier than to see your beautiful face whenever I open my eyes. But I told you…this is something that I have to do alone. This whole situation is my fault…I have to be the one to make it right. I have to work my way back to being the man that you loved…the man you married.”
Marlena shot up in her bed, “DON’T SAY THAT! You listen to me John Black…you are still the same man that I married…and I still love you every bit as much as I did the day I married you…both times! Truth be known I probably love you more in this very moment…than I ever have before. If you want to blame this…abominable situation on anyone…blame it on Tony Dimera! He did his damndest to kill us, our connection and our love for each other…but honey…he failed. We are alive…and you are getting stronger everyday….and you are still…the love of my life! Tony may have won the battle… but Sailor we have won the war.”
John took a deep breath, “Doc…I am afraid your celebration is a…bit premature…the war isn’t over yet.”
Marlena gasped slightly, “What…John what does that mean…the war isn’t over?”
John hushed her, “Doc…calm down honey. Look that isn’t something I want to get into right now. Let’s just say…that my drug addiction…isn’t the only battle that I have ahead of me.”
Marlena jumped out of bed with phone in hand, “That’s it! I am coming to see you RIGHT NOW…”
John began to yell into the phone. “DOC! Marlena…no do not…I repeat do not come here!”
Marlena began to pace the room trying her best to calm down…she was scared, but more than anything she was pissed. “John…if you don’t want me to come there…then you had better give me an explanation…I want to know what you are talking about…RIGHT NOW!” Marlena stopped yelling when she heard John whisper something, “John what did you say…why are you whispering?” J
ohn wiped his eyes that had began to tear, “I said…I have no right to ask you this but…do you trust me?”
Marlena stopped in her tracks, “Of course….of course I trust you…with my life!”
John breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay then…please believe me…I will tell you EVERYTHING…when I get home…I just don’t want to discuss it over the phone honey. Do not be alarmed or frightened…you are not in danger…if you were I NEVER would have left you…you know that! Do you believe me?”
Marlena paced the floor nodding her head and then spoke, “Yes…yes I believe you. But John…are you…are you in danger?”
John spoke firmly, “No…I assure you that I am NOT in any danger. Okay?”
Marlena believed him. She wiped her eyes and spoke firmly, “Okay!”
John smiled, “Okay then…why don’t you quit pacing and get back into bed.”
Marlena laughed out loud, “How did you know that I was pacing? Do you have a hidden camera in here…”
John laughed, “Believe me doc…I don’t need a camera to tell me what I already know. Now…get your cute little behind back into bed.”
Marlena let out a sigh and got snuggled back into her bed. “Okay father…I am back in bed.”
John giggled at her comment. He had to think of someway to get her mind off of what he just told her. He though for a moment and the corner of his mouth raised in a cat shire grin. “Are you all comfy honey?”
“As comfy as I can be without you here to hold me.”
John smiled, “So tell me Doc…what are you wearing?”
Marlena covered her face with her hand trying to hide the sudden blush that covered her cheeks, “Oh geez…you are such a horn dog. “
“Yes…that is true…actually I prefer the phrase horny toad. But…you still didn’t answer my question doc.”
Marlena grinned, “Well why don’t you tell me…what I am wearing! I mean after all we are sooo connected…shouldn’t you already know these things.”
John laughed. He kept talking to her and she had become silent not saying a word, making John think that she had feel asleep. “Doc…honey are you still there?”
Marlena sighed deeply, “Yeah…I am here.” she said sadly.
“Doc, honey what’s the matter…you sound so sad baby.”
Marlena wiped away a lone tear, “JB…when are you coming home? I miss you so much. I just want you here…with me.”
John smiled, “I will be home soon sweetheart. I promise…with in the week you will be back in my arms…right where you belong.” John stopped as he heard the nurses in the hallway. “Hey doc I gotta go…I hear nurse Ratchet coming.”
Marlena laughed, “John you promise me that you will behave…and do EXACTLY what they tell you to do.”
John smiled, “I promise honey.”
Marlena smiled at his childlike voice, “Okay…will you call me tomorrow?”
“I sure will…on one condition.”
“And what would that be?”
John tried his best not to laugh, “That…we can have phone sex!”
Marlena busted out laughing, “Oh my god…you are such a pig.”
John controlled his laughter, “Oh come on…you love it and you know it!” After a moment John become serious, “Okay now…I want you to lay your gorgeous head down on the pillow…and drift off to sleep. Just think the sooner you get to sleep…the sooner I can meet you in my dreams…just like I have every night that we have been apart.” John heard Marlena’s breathing become slow and steady…signaling to him that she was already starting to fall asleep. “Goodnight pretty lady…I love you.”
Marlena smiled in a state somewhere between consciousness and fantasy, and she murmured “I love you too JB…more than anything in the world.”
With that said the call disconnected. Marlena took John’s pillow and wrapped her arms around it…tucking it safely under her chin. Her lips curled into a smile as she meet the man of her dreams…in a dreamland where nothing and no one could ever hurt or separate them again!
Well today was the day that Marlena had been waiting weeks for…John was finally coming home today. Marlena had talked to John everyday on the phone for the past week. He would keep her up to date on his treatment…and would often torture her with very salacious stories of what he had planned to do to her when he got home. She had loved every conversation that they have had over the past week…but nothing can compare to seeing his sky blue eyes and the feel of his masculine arms around her. She prayed everyday for his speedy recovery, so that he could come home to her. This separation from John made her realize how much a part of her he really is. He is the one that makes her life worth living, he is the reason her eyes light up, and he is the reason her heart sings with happiness. And today…when she finally had him back in her arms…she made a vow to NEVER let him go again!
Marlena was running around the house getting ready for John to come home. She was cleaning like a mad woman while Belle sat on the sofa laughing, “Mom…you are running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.”
Marlena giggled, “ I can’t help it Belle…I want everything to be perfect for when Sami brings your daddy home.”
Belle laughed again, “Mom I don’t think that dad will care that he can see his reflection in the coffee table that you polished for like twenty minutes. We are talking about a man who leaves his underwear lying around the house.” Marlena laughed and continued cleaning. Finally Belle got off the sofa and grabbed her mothers hand…and lead her to sit down. She sat Marlena down then occupied the cushion next to her. “Mom…you need to relax! Believe me when I tell you that dad wont care if there are water spots on the silver or dishes in the sink. A tornado could pass through here and it wouldn’t phase him…as long as you are here…waiting for him…he will be happy as a lark!”
Marlena leaned back against the sofa cushion and sighed, “Oh Belle. I have missed your daddy so much…I don’t ever want to be separated from him again.” Tears began to form in Marlena’s eyes.
Belle smiled at the love emanating from her mother. “It is amazing.” she whispered slightly.
Marlena looked at her questioningly, “What is amazing sweetheart?”
Belle sighed and walked over to the piano. She glanced at the array of family photos. “The love that you and dad share…it is just…amazing! You two have been together for so many years…and you have been in love with each other even longer than that. Couples now a days don’t seem to last twenty minutes…and here you and dad have been in love for almost twenty YEARS! “ Belle turned to her mother, “How do you do it?”
Marlena walked over to her daughter and took her face gently in her hands, “Oh sweetheart…I have NO idea!” They both began to laugh. Marlena lead her back to the sofa while talking, “Sweetheart there is no…rule book for love. Every person…every couple is different. But I know that for me and your daddy…our love was just…destined! We are the missing pieces to each others hearts. We aren’t complete without each other. Simply put we are…”
“Soul mates!” Belle chimed in finishing her mothers sentence and Marlena just nodded in reply. Belle’s mind drifted to her husband and to Shawn…her first love. She realized that she was in much the same predicament her mother was in many years ago. “Mom…how do you know when you have found your… soul mate? I mean when did you realize that dad was your soul mate? Form what I have heard of your history…when you first meet him you couldn’t stand him…and then he kidnapped you and took you to West Virginia…I mean how did your love grow out of THAT?”
Marlena couldn’t help but to laugh at the memories that Belle had brought up. “Oh…my goodness…I had almost forgot how ANOYING your father was when I first meet him. Always making me sign those dreadful “Sign In – Sign Out” sheets at the hospital. But even though I tried to deny it at first…I think I knew from the first moment that I laid eyes on him… I new that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him.” Marlena turned to Belle with a slight smile, “Sweetheart…I know that you are torn in two concerning your feelings for Philip and Shawn… do you want to know how ‘I’ know that your daddy is my soul mate?” Belle nodded her head and listen to her mother intently. “I know because…he is in my first thought every morning and my last though every night. I know because…every time the phone rings I hope it is him…just so I can hear his voice. I know because…I ache to see his beautiful face…even when he’s only been out of my site for no more than a minute. I know because…when I picture my future…every single solitary minute of it is going to be spent loving your father.” Marlena takes a deep breathe and wipes the tears that had begun to form. “What I am trying to say is that…it is the little things Belle. The little things let you know…the little things in life have the greatest meaning. If you think of the little things that I talked about…and you can see which man occupies those thoughts…then you will know whom you are meant to share your life with! You have to be true to your heart Belle…otherwise everyone loses.”
Belle wiped her eyes and smiled at her mother, “Well you have certainly given me a lot to think about….I guess I have a lot of soul searching to do!”
~~~~~
A few hours later Marlena came bouncing down the stairs looking at her watch, “Belle has Sami called? Her and John should have been here by now.”
Belle shook her head no, “Don’t worry mom…maybe they are stuck in traffic.”
Marlena turned to make her way to the kitchen, but stopped in her tracks with the sound of keys in the front door. Her heart leap in her chest at the thought of seeing John. She walked to the front door and flung it open…she was greeted with a somber looking Sami. Sami walked in…all alone. Marlena watched her enter…and noticed that someone very important was missing. She poked her head out into the hallway thinking that John was trying to surprise her…but he was no where in site. Marlena stepped back into the penthouse leaving the door wide open. She turned to Sami who was starring at her. “Sami…where is John?”
Sami shrugged her shoulders and raised her hands in the air, “ I have no idea! When I got to the hospital…he was already gone.”
Marlena gasped, “Gone? Gone where?”
Sami shrugged yet again, “Your guess is as good as mine. I asked the nurse and she was just as confused as I was. She said that John had been released earlier this morning…and he told her that I was coming to pick him up.”
Marlena raised her forefinger to her lips to keep the sobs at bay. Sami and Belle walked up to their mother and Sami stroked her arm. “Mom I am sorry…I have no idea where John is.”
Marlena shook her head and began to cry, “NO…NO! He wouldn’t do this to me. He swore… he promised me that he was coming home. He wouldn’t do that to me…he wouldn’t…lie to me!”
“THAT’S A FACT!” It took a moment for the deep masculine voice to register in Marlena’s head…but once it did she knew who it was. Marlena whipped around and saw the most beautiful site standing before her. John was standing in the doorway…with a bouquet of purple lilacs in his hands. Marlena felt like her feet were cemented to the floor…she just starred at him tears pouring down her cheeks…afraid to blink thinking that he might disappear. John approached her slowly…his arm outstretched handing her the flowers. “These are for you…pretty lady.”
Marlena took them with no emotion on her face…still afraid that this was just her imagination. John was feeling the same way…but he couldn’t go without touching her for one more minute. He walked up to her slowly and stopped mere inches from her face…his eyes never leaving hers. He bent over slowly and wrapped his arms around her behind hoisting her up into the air. He stood there looking up at her with a smile beaming on his face, “I love you Doc!”
The reality finally set in and Marlena was at a lose to control her emotions. Tears ran from her eyes like water from a faucet. She took a deep ragged breath as she looked down into John’s eyes. She stroked his face with both hands…she ran them around to the back of his head…pulling it to her chest…hugging him to her. She laid her head atop of his and cried, “Your home…your really home.”
John smiled and hugged her with all his might, “ I am home Doc…I am not going anywhere!”
He spun her around while he held her crying form in his arms. When he came to a stop he finally let Marlena slip down the length of his body…bringing her to stand in front of him. She ran her hand over his face…hazel still locked on blue. “Oh…JB…I love you so…never NEVER leave!”
John smiled and caressed her cheek, as he whispered, ”Never Doc….NEEEVEERRR!” He bent down and gently swiped his lips across hers but before he could pull away Marlena pulled him into a passionate kiss. Both of them were so lost in each other that they failed to notice that their daughters had left. Both Sami and Belle knew that the one thing their parents needed right now was time alone…They knew that in this moment…the only thing that John and Marlena needed…was each other!
John stood there holding Marlena in his arms, relishing the feel of her slightly accelerated heartbeat against his chest. He suddenly realized how immensely lucky he was that Marlena had forgiven him for leaving the way that he did. He knew that he should have told her of his plans… but he didn’t want her to sit by and watch him in pain. He knew that everything that he did was to spare her from heartache… however when all was said and done…she had still suffered!
John looked around the living room of the penthouse and noticed that his daughters had made a hasty retreat…leaving him and Marlena alone. John ran his hand over Marlena’s head which rested on his chest… he slightly entangled his fingers in her silk mane. John gently tipped her head back and gazed into her sleepy eyes, “Doc honey…you look so tired.”
Marlena nodded, “Yeah…I haven’t slept much since…”
John nodded his head in recognition, “I forgot…you never could sleep very well when I wasn’t home.” Marlena smiled and nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck. As John stood there holding her, he felt her body start to lay heavily against his chest. When he felt Marlena’s breathes become slow and steady, he had realized that she was almost asleep. A large smile spread across his face. He bent over an gently swooped her up in his arms. She sighed slightly, instinctively wrapping her arms around his neck and laying her head on his shoulder.
As he began to ascend the stairs Marlena awoke, “John…sofa.” she mumbled barely above a whisper.
John simply nodded his head and made his way there. He gently sat with a half awake Marlena resting in his lap. He slowly laid down and Marlena followed. She stretched out on top of John, laying on her stomach. She wrapped her arms around him, intertwined her legs with his and snuggled her face into the crook of his neck, which felt like they fit perfectly together. John wrapped his arms around her tightly, as he let out a small moan…not realizing how his body would react to Marlena’s close proximity. Marlena heard his moan and stirred, “Hurting…you?” she mumbled.
John smiled, “Not at all sweetheart…not at all.”
Marlena raised her head slightly and kissed John’s neck, “I’m sorry…”.
John giggled, “For what?”
Marlena kissed his neck again and sighed, “For falling asleep. It’s just that I am so…”
John smiled as he felt his own eyelids becoming heavy, “Relaxed?” he said as he let out a slight yawn.
Marlena giggled, “Mmm hmmm… relaxed!”
John held her tighter, “Sweet dreams Doc…I love you!”
Marlena smiled, “Night JB…love you.” Those were the last words said as they both drifted off into the most peaceful sleep either of them had had in weeks.
~~~~~~
It was a few hours later when John awoke. He opened his eyes and was shocked to see Marlena laying on top of him…in the exact same position she was in when she first laid down, which means that she hadn’t moved at all. John gently stroked her hair as he though of how exhausted she must have been. He knew for a fact that when they were apart in the past Marlena hardly ever had a peaceful nights sleep. A large smile spread across his face as he recalled several time when he had went out of town on business, and Marlena would call him at two or three in the morning because she couldn’t sleep. He gently kissed the top of her head and lifted her body off of his. After years of doing this type of movement, he was an expert at not waking her up, and his skills hadn’t tarnished at all. He extricated his body from underneath hers and laid her on the sofa gently. He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair letting out his frustration. After he disengaged himself from Marlena he glanced down at his nether regions and he noticed that Marlena’s nearness had most defiantly left it’s impression on him. He let out a rough chuckle wondering how she could have slept so peacefully with his very aroused manliness poking into her. He took one more glance at his love and then headed upstairs to take a shower…and most likely it would be a cold one.
About twenty minutes later John emerged from the shower and stepped into the steam filled bathroom. He had felt stronger and more alive than he had in months…maybe even years. He stood looking at himself in the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. He let out a disappointed sigh as he gazed at his figure, “I look like hell!”. Even though it probably wouldn’t be apparent to anyone else John could tell that his body had changed dramatically. His face looked to be somewhat drawn…and he could tell that his muscle tone had diminished. He let out a frustrated sigh and wrapped the towel snugly around his waist. He opened the bathroom door and let out a high pitched shriek when he noticed the figure standing on the other side.
Marlena jumped back slightly and brought her hand to her mouth. Not so much out of fright but to keep herself from laughing. John took a deep breath and calmed himself, “Oh my GOD…Marlena you scared the shit out of me!” John took another calming breath and starred at Marlena. He could see that she was holding in her laughter, “Did I just scream like a woman?”
Marlena couldn’t help herself and she laughed out loud, “Don’t flatter yourself honey…you screamed like a girl.” John laughed slightly. He noticed Marlena’s eyes roaming over his body and he began to feel self conscience. He tightened his towel and walked around her out of the bathroom. Marlena looked at his retreating figure and just watched him for a moment. She knew that he saw how her eyes were devouring him…and she noticed that it made him uncomfortable. She watched him as he walked all the way across the room to his dresser and hurriedly put on some jogging pants and a t-shirt. She knew right then and there that something was wrong. John NEVER put his clothing on right after a shower…he was always much too hot, and he would always stay in his boxers for a little while to cool off. She walked over to him. She stood behind him for a moment thinking of how to approach him. She took a deep breath and gently wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and laid her face upon his shoulder. “I was quite lonely when I woke up on the sofa and you weren’t there with me.”
John inhaled deeply at the contact she made, “I’m sorry Doc. You were sleeping so peacefully for the first time in what I gather was quite a while. I just though you needed the rest.” John started to feel uncomfortable with her closeness again and he pulled out of her embrace. He turned and smiled at her and then walked over to the terrace and peered out the window.
Marlena noticed how he seemed almost uncomfortable when she touched him. She starred at his back and noticed how tense he looked, even though he just got out of the shower, “John what’s wrong?”
John shook his head, “Nothin’ Doc…why do you ask?” He tried to sound as chipper as possible and he hoped that Marlena had bought it.
Marlena walked up to him but did not touch him, “I ask because you seem so…I don’t know…uncomfortable. Is something bothering you honey?”
John shook his head, “No sweetie nothing is bothering me. What would make you think that?” John turned to look at her…he could she that she was worried about him by the haze that glossed her eyes.
Marlena shrugged, “I don’t know really…it’s just that your not acting like yourself.”
John tired to laugh it off as he walked back towards his dresser, “Oh come on Doc…how am I not acting like myself?”
Marlena watched him walk away from her yet again. She spoke to him with gentleness in her voice, “I don’t know it is just little things. Like the fact that you got completely dressed after getting out of the shower.”
He whipped around to face her, his voice a little defensive “Well Marlena I can’t very well walk around the house in my underwear all day.”
Marlena remained calm, “Since when? You have never…in ALL the years I have known you…gotten completely dressed after getting out of the shower. You always complained that you were to hot.”
John laughed at her, “Doc come on…you make it sound like a crime that I got dressed.”
Marlena was tired of his denials and became a bit defensive herself, “Fine…then what about the fact that you flinch when I so much as LOOK at you!” She walked over to stand directly in front of him with her hand planted firmly on her hips. “I saw how you practically ran away from me when you came out of the bathroom in your towel.”
John shook his head, “Doc that is ridicules…you are imagining things.”
“John I can tell that something is bothering you…please tell me what it is.”
John let out a grunt, “Marlena nothing is bothering me…and I am not pulling away from you. Please honey just let it go.”
Marlena knew that something was bothering him and she wasn’t about to let him hide his true feelings. She placed her hands on his chest and slowly ran them up and down. She glided her hands down to the sides of John’s stomach and let them set there. She felt his muscles ever so slightly become tense at her touch and she called him on it. “SEE…right there!”
John looked around the room like he had completely missed something, “See what…what are you talking about?”
Marlena let out a frustrated breath and stepped away from him, “You KNOW what. You just tensed up when I touched you.”
John’s mouth dropped open, “I most certainly did not!”
Marlena starred at him, “John you forget…I know you…I know your body. I know how your body normally reacts when I touch you. When I touched you just now…your muscles got tense…and not in a good way. Granted it would have been a very unnoticeable thing to most people…but I am not most people.” She lifted her hand to his face and caressed his cheek. “I am your lover and your wife John Black. I have memorized every inch of you. I have memorized every reaction your body has ever made from my touch. And never…in the twenty years that I have known you have you ever once…tensed at my touch.” She looked deep into his eyes and saw the worry and doubt swimming there and her heart broke for him, “Baby…I know that there is something bothering you. Please…tell me what it is.”
John sighed deeply. He took her hand and brought it to his lips…kissing her palm and then released it and stepped away from her. He walked over to her full length dressing mirror and starred at his reflection somberly. “I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin Marlena. I feel…tainted or something.” Marlena brought her forefinger to her lips to stop the sob that was threatening to escape. John turned around to look at her and saw the tears in her eyes. He took a labored breath, “It’s like I feel dirty…or tarnished or something. I took a look at myself in the mirror when I got out of the shower Doc…and what I saw made me sick. I looked so haggard. I look so pale and I lost quite a bit of muscle tone. I know to a stranger it would seem like I look the same. But like you said Doc…you know me…and you know my body. I knew that you would be able to see even the slightest difference…and I felt…embarrassed.”
Marlena wiped the tears from her eyes as she walked over to him. She stroked his cheek and kissed him lightly on the lips. “John you had an illness…you were very weak and you went through HELL to beat your addiction. Honey it is only natural that it would take it’s toll on you physically. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of.” She slowly brought her hand up the side of his face to his hair and ran her fingers through it…stopping at the back of his head as she pulled his face closer to hers. She leaned in and kissed him passionately but sweetly. After pulling apart she starred into his eyes, hoping that he could see the passion and love that were shinning in hers. She brought her hands from behind his head and ran them along the sides of his neck and down his chest while starring into his eyes…noticing this time that he didn’t tense at her touch. She brought her fingers to the edge of his t-shirt and began to lift it up his body. Noticing that he did not flinch or pull away she pulled the shirt up his chest and over his head…removing it from his body and dropping it to the floor. She brought her hand to his chest again and gently ran her fingers over every inch of the newly exposed flesh. She just starred at him in awe…she knew the contours of his body better than anyone…and to her nothing appeared to have changed. He was as sleek and trim and muscular as he always had been. She felt the heat of passion rise within her as she starred at his ruggedly handsome body. She looked deep into his eyes, “I love your body…”
John’s body was reacting to her touch, “Marlena…”
Marlena kept talking as though she didn’t hear him, “Like you said…I know you better than anyone. I know every line…every curve…every contour of your wonderful body.” Marlena kept caressing him as she talked. “According to my eyes…and my touch…nothing about you has changed at all.” Her eyes were clouded with passion for him. She grabbed his hand and walked backwards towards their bed, “I can honestly say…that in the twenty years that I have known you…I have never loved…wanted…or desired you more…than I do right now!”
John came to a stop in front of her and he starred into her eyes, “Marlena…you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to try and make me feel better about myself.”
He tried to pull away from her but she held firmly to his hand as she sat on the edge of the bed starring up at him. “I am not trying to make you feel better… I am actually being selfish.”
John smirked at her, “You…selfish?”
She nodded with a sexy grin, “Hmmm…me…selfish. Because I could spend every minute of everyday with you and it would never be enough. I could make love to you every hour on the hour and never have enough of you. So you see…the furthest thing from my mind is making you feel better. I am trying to make myself feel better. And the only way THAT is going to happen…is if you make love to me.”
John leaned forward and kissed her and Marlena took the opportunity to engulf him in a passionate kiss. She pulled John down on top of her wrapping her legs around his waist. He pulled back from her and looked deep into her eyes and he stroked her face. “Are you sure Doc? Are you sure you want this…are you sure you want me?”
Marlena drew a ragging breath as she spoke in a strangled passion filled voice. She started planting soft kisses on his face and chest in between her sentences, “I want you…I want you so bad that I am aching inside. I have ached to be with you everyday since the first time I saw you…and I will love you…lust for you…desire you…crave you…long for you…and ache for you until the day I die!”
John saw the passionate truth radiating from her soul and he was lost. He claimed her mouth in a passionate kiss wanting to devour her. He pulled away when the need for air became to great. He starred into her lust filled eyes, “ I love you Marlena, more than anything in this world.”
She caressed his cheek, “And I love you more than life itself. Make love to me JB…make me whole again.” John needed no more encouragement than that….and he was determined to make love to her as slowly and as passionately as possible. This would be a night they would never forget!
It was two days later and things started to get somewhat back to normal. It was early morning…just after sun rise, and John was downstairs in the penthouse working out. He was lying on the weight bench lifting weights when out of the corner of his eye he saw Marlena lazily approaching him. As he set his bar of weights upon it rest he felt Marlena straddle him and sit on his lap.
He looked up at her and smiled, “What are you doing up so early?”.
Marlena bent over and kissed his chest and smiled. “I could ask you the same question. Haven’t we had enough ‘exercise’ in the past two days? I can’t believe that I am awake…much less walking…and here you are lifting weights.”
John let out a hardy laugh, “Well I’m sorry sweetheart…I didn’t mean to break you or anything. I guess we will just have to find other ways to occupy our time…so you can rest up.” John sat up and kissed her gently.
She pulled back form him and wrapped her arms around his neck, “Now lets not get carried away here JB. I said I was tired and sore…not stupid. As if I would EVER pass up an opportunity to make love to you.” She smiled at him with mischief in her eyes. She placed her hands upon his chest and pushed him back onto the bench, John laid down happily and smiled. Marlena took her index finger and trailed it from his neck…down his stomach…to the top of his jogging pants. “You mister…are in BIG trouble!”
John quirked his eyebrow in wonder, “Me…what did I do?”
Marlena grabbed the waist band of his pants and snapped them, “I believe that I told you yesterday…now that you are home…you are not to leave my side for a minute. And one day later what happens…I wake up, in our bed…all alone! I think that deserves some punishment…don’t you?” Marlena’s mouth turned up into a cat shire grin. She bent over and trailed her tongue from the top of John’s pants all the way up his body to his very eager lips. She pecked his lips quickly, “Now Mr. Black…how would you like your punishment?”
John groaned loudly as Marlena kissed and nibbled his neck…sucking desperately at his skin…not doubt leaving her mark. John sat up on the bench with Marlena in his arms. Marlena kept up her ministrations as John spoke, “As much as I would…hmmm…love to be punished by you…hmmm Doc…I have some errands that I have to run.”
Marlena ended her ministrations with one…albeit hard bite on John’s neck…which made John jump. “Owww…what the hell did you do that for Doc?” John brought his hand to his neck to cover the spot as Marlena starred daggers at him.
“What could you possible have to do THIS early in the morning?”.
John ignored Marlena and kept feeling his neck, bringing his hand in front of his face to examine it, “I think I am bleeding.”
Marlena smacked his hand away, “You are not bleeding! Now answer my question John!”
John lifted Marlena off of his lap and set her in front of him on the bench. “Doc…I need to get to work on finding Brady, Philip and the others. If we don’t find them soon…their time could run out. I will not be the one to tell everybody that the people they love got killed because of my carelessness!”
Tears began to spring to Marlena’s eyes, “But John…what are you going to do? Can’t you just let the ISA and the military handle this?”
John shook his head, “No way Doc! I am not putting the lives of the people I love in the hands of someone else. I will find them…and I will bring them home.”
John got off the bench as Marlena let out a frustrated grunt, “Why does it ALWAYS have to be you? Why do you ALWAYS have to play the hero?”
John looked at her and smiled. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up so that she was kneeling on the bench in front of him. “Because that is who I am remember? I am John Black…good guy…with a capitol G.”
Marlena laughed slightly. But after a moment she took John’s face into her hands and starred deeply into his eyes. “Yes you are…but you are MY good guy with a capitol G. I can’t loose you again…it would…kill me.”
The tears slowly fell from Marlena’s eyes as John chased them with the pad of his thumb. He kissed her lips softly, “You will never…NEVER loose me! I will take every precaution…you know that. I just want to bring those boys home…so this nightmare can be over, and we can get on with our lives.”
Marlena forced a smile, “You promise?”
John crossed his heart with one finger and smiled. “Now my fair lady…if you will excuse me. I need to go and take a shower.”
John turned to walk away when suddenly Marlena stood on the bench and hopped onto his back which made him nearly fall over. Marlena wrapped her arms around him and kissed his neck, “What did I tell you sailor…you are not to leave my side. Your stuck with me…remember?”
John laughed and pulled her legs tight around his waist, “I am starting to like that idea more and more Doc. Hang on baby.” John took off running up the stairs with Marlena laughing and hanging on for dear life.
~~~~~
About an hour later the doorbell rang at the penthouse and John came down the stairs to answer it…with Marlena riding along on his back. “Doc…as much as I love having you in my arms…I can’t tote you around everywhere!”
Marlena just sighed, “Are you trying to say I am too heavy? How would you like it if I bit the other side of your neck?” John just laughed and answered the door, which had a surprised looking Sami and Roman on the other side. Roman laughed as he entered, “Something wrong with your legs Doc?”
Marlena just smirked at him. John grunted, “Marlena has decided to become my personal hump.”
Sami busted out laughing, “Uh John…that sounded…REALLY nasty.”
John and Marlena looked at each other and blushed. John shut the door and headed over to where everyone was standing, “So miss Sami…why aren’t you at work?”
Sami laughed, “What can I say…it’s nice being the boss.”
John laughed, “Tell me about it. I really appreciate you running things for me peanut.” John smiled and kissed her on the cheek, before continuing. “So…what brings you both by?”
Sami and Roman both looked at each other, and he nodded for Sami to talk. “Uh, well I thought that I would spend the day with my mother. You know…shopping, lunch all that girly stuff.”
Marlena smiled at her, “Aww…that is so sweet honey thank you.” Marlena turned to look at Roman, “So what is your excuse Roman…because I sure am not your mother.”
Roman stuttered nervously, “I… umm…I need John’s help…with some…stuff.” John nodded as he caught on to what Roman was saying. Marlena looked around at all three of them as they tried desperately to avoid looking back at her. She shook her head in frustration, “I am not a child you know. You all don’t have to fumble around trying to spare my feelings. I already know that John is trying to find the boys…I just didn’t know you were helping him Roman.” Marlena suddenly became very nervous. After all this time and all that had happened she has almost forgot about the secret that she and Roman held. She tensed at the idea of John and Roman working together.
Roman smiled at her not sensing her discomfort, “Well I couldn’t very well let John go it alone now could I? Besides…it’s not just me…Bo and Abe are on the case too!” That made Marlena relax somewhat. Roman’s cell phone rang and after a moment he hung up and looked at John, “So partner…you ready to go…we got a meeting to get to?”
John nodded, “Sure thing!” He titled his head back and looked at Marlena who was STILL planted firmly on his back, “Sorry pretty lady…rides over!” He gave Marlena a quick kiss as she hopped off.
John went to walk out the door with Roman when Marlena forcefully pulled him back to her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a passionate kiss, “You call me the MINTUE you find out anything…you hear me sailor?”
John smiled and saluted her, “Yes Ma’am!” They walked to the door hand in hand. Marlena stood there and watched John and Roman as they waited for the elevator.
Roman looked over at John and smiled, “So…after what I just saw…I guess I don’t have to ask where you got that giant hickey on your neck!” John’s hand flew to the spot where Marlena bit him earlier. He whipped around to face her and she quickly blew him a kiss and shut the door before he could speak.
John sighed and looked over at Roman. “This little mission is going to be harder than I thought pal…I have everything to gain…AND everything to loose!”
Roman sadly patted him on the back, “You and me both partner.” and they entered the elevator.
John, Roman, Abe and Bo have been working tirelessly for two weeks now trying to formulate a plan on rescuing the boys from their captors. John and Marlena have been at odds over John’s insistent involvement on this case. With out giving her too much information…and no matter how hard he tried he could not convince her that it was for the best that he head up this operation.
Marlena was sitting in the living room of the penthouse with Sami and Belle. Sami looked at her mother and smiled, “Mom when is John going to get here…I have the best news to tell you both.”
Marlena perked up, “He should be here soon he said he was getting dinner on his way home. So what is this great news?”
Belle chimed in, “Yeah sis spill it…I want to know too!”
Sami laughed, “Gosh you two are so much alike it is scary. Neither of you like surprises much do ya?”
Marlena and Belle looked at each other and laughed and then spoke in unison, “No… we don’t!”
Sami laughed again, “Okay…I wanted to wait for John but…”. Just then the door opened and in walked a somber looking John, his arms filled with carryout bags. He looked over and saw his favorite ladies sitting on the sofa and immediately changed his demeanor hoping that no one would notice. Sami hopped of the sofa to help him with the bags, “Alright John…Chinese food…our favorite!” She gave him a peck on the cheek and took the bags from him.
Marlena walked over to him and kissed him. She saw the worry lines on his forehead and caressed them with her palm, “John…honey what’s wrong?”
He smiled at her, “Nothing Doc…I’m just a bit tired that‘s all.”
Marlena could tell that he was lying and was about to call him on it when Sami came out of the kitchen with plates and silver wear for all them. “Dinner is severed everyone!”
Everyone sat on the floor around the long coffee table that sat in between the two sofas, John and Marlena on one side, Belle and Sami on the other. They each began talking about daily life and just enjoying each others company. Marlena began to eat and then spoke to John, “Oh John…our second oldest daughter here says she had some big news to share with us.”
John raised his eyebrows at Sami in wonderment. Sami got excited again, “Oh I can’t believe I almost forgot. Guess who is coming back to town?” They all looked around at each other and shrugged and then looked back to Sami. Sami laughed, “Your eldest daughter has decided to make her way back home.”
Marlena jumped up in shock and excitement. “Oh my gosh…Carrie is coming home? Oh John can you believe it! It has been so long since we have seen her.”
John hugged Marlena, “This is wonderful baby. All we need now is for Eric to come home…and Brady…then we will have all of our kids together again!” Marlena heard the sadness in his voice and caressed his chest gently trying to sooth him.
As they continued eating Sami paused for a moment taking in the scene before her and a smile came to her face…which John noticed. “Hey peanut…what brought that beautiful smile to your face?”
Sami shrugged her shoulders shyly. “This reminds me of when we were little. We used to do this like every Friday night.” Sami said with a laugh.
Belle nodded, “I know what you mean Sami we did the same thing when Brady and I were little. The only thing missing is…” She looked at Sami and the spoke in unison, “Popcorn and a Movie!” They all started laughing.
Marlena snuggled into John and sighed happily as she thought back on all those good times they have shared as a family. All of the Friday nights that included Chinese food or pizza followed by popcorn and a movie. How they would all camp out in the living room…and the occasional pillow fights they would have…which would eventually lead to John being pummeled by Marlena and the kids. Marlena was brought out of her thoughts by Sami and Belle. “Can we mom?”
Marlena shook her head not hearing the question, “I am sorry Belle I missed the question.”
They all smiled. “I said can we do it? Can we make popcorn and watch a movie all of us…just like we used to?”
Marlena drew a ragged breathe and smiled as she looked at John.
A huge grin spread across his face, “Well I can’t think of a better way to spend my evening than with my three favorite ladies. I know just the movie we can watch!”
John hopped up off the floor, but Marlena grabbed his hand and pulled him back down to her as Sami got up to retrieve the movie, “Sorry Sailor…we girls get to pick the movie!”
John looked at her in horror. “Aww… come on Doc no fair!” Sami came back and waived the movie in front of his face. John held his hands up in a pleading motion, “Oh please…I beg of you…Don’t make me watch that!”
Marlena tried to control her laughter, “Well honey it is this…or Beaches…take your pick!”
John looked at her and pouted, “Fine…Steel Magnolias!”
They all got up and went to their respective seats for the movie. Sami popped the movie into the DVD player and then took her place next to Belle lying on the floor. And John and Marlena snuggled up on the sofa as John continued to whine. “You know this is highly unfair. I am out numbered three to one… at least if I had Eric and Brady here I would have a fighting chance!”
Sami looked at him and laughed, “Oh come on dad who are you kidding! Our brothers would watch whatever movie we wanted them too. Besides…it’s not like you are going to watch the movie anyways…you and mom will just be making out the whole time.”
Marlena looked at Sami in attempted shock, “Samantha Gene…we have NEVER made out in front of our children!”
Sami and Belle look at her, “Since when?” they said in unison.
They all laughed as the movie started and they focused their attention. After a moment the girls looked back at their parents, who as they suspected, where kissing while snuggled up on the sofa. Belle looked at Sami with a silly grin, “Well…it is nice to know that something’s…will NEVER change!” They both giggled and went back to watching their movie.
~~~~~
Several hours later the girls were asleep on the floor and Marlena was asleep on the sofa. John however was restless and wound up as he stood starring out the French doors. Marlena woke to find herself alone on the sofa. She glanced down at her daughters asleep peacefully on the floor. They were snuggled up like they would do when they were babies…the site warmed her heart! She glanced up and saw John by the doors…leaning his head against the cool glass… lost in deep thought. She stretched and walked over to him…wrapping her arms around him from behind. “Is it still a penny for your thoughts?”
John laughed slightly and just nodded his head. He turned around in her arms and just starred at her…drinking in the site of her…committing her to memory, even though he already knew every detail by heart. She looked deeply into his eyes and could sense his…dread! She drew a deep breathe knowing what was bothering him, “It is time…isn’t it?”
He simple nodded at her, “We leave in a day or two.”
Marlena pulled away from him and began to look out the doors. She wrapped her arms around herself…trying to ward off that overpowering sense of dread and fear…but this time it was much stronger than it ever had been before. She wiped away her tears, “I don’t want you to go.”
John sighed and put his arms around her, “I don’t want to go either…but this is something I have to do.”
Marlena’s temper flared and she yanked herself out of his grasp and turned on him. “WHY? Why is this something that YOU have to do?”
John shushed her as so not to wake the girls up. “Because Doc…that is my son over there in that HELL!”
Marlena gasped, “I know THAT! Brady is MY son too incase you have forgotten! I want him and the rest of those boys home safely just as much as everybody else. I just don’t want to loose YOU in the process…can’t you grasp THAT!” Marlena clamed herself and lowered her voice, and implored to him “John there are hundreds…if not thousand of very capable ISA agents and soldiers that can get them out safely…there is no need for you to go….please!”
John ran his hands roughly through his hair, “I am going Doc…once they took my son and other people I love…this became personal!.”
Marlena was outraged at his stubbornness and refusal to listen to reason and she shoved him slightly as she raised her voice and spoke in fury. “EXACTLY! That is exactly my point John. You are to close to this…you are too emotionally involved to see clearly…and that can make you careless!” She turned away from him in anger and headed towards the stairs. Before she went up she turned back to him. “So help me John…if this little ego trip that you are on costs you your life…and you leave me here all alone to live my life without you…I will NEVER forgive you!” She swatted the angry tears from her eyes and rushed up the stairs.
John drew a ragged breath and looked over to the girls who had awoken from all the yelling. They looked at him with sadness and fear in their eyes. John glanced at them with an apologetic look on his face. He wiped away the tears that fell from his eyes at Marlena’s angry words, and strode out of the room. Sami and Belle glanced at each other and wondered what fate held in store for their family!
Today was the day! The day that Marlena has been dreading since John came home from the rehab center. John and Marlena haven’t spoken so much as two words to each other…though not by John’s choice. John has tried endlessly to engage her in conversation just to have his words fall on deaf ears. Marlena was struggling every minute of everyday to hold to her hostility and anger with John. She wanted nothing more that to hold him and love him with everything that she had in her…but she refused. She made herself believe that if she stayed angry long enough that John would not go on this mission to rescue the boys from their impending danger.
All of John and Marlena’s family and friends were gathered at the pub for a family dinner before John, Bo and Roman left to go and rescue the boys. John and Roman had a last minute meeting and were to be arriving shortly. Marlena sat in a corner booth thinking about John and the worst possible scenarios that could come out of this mission. Marlena gently wiped the tears from her eyes as Sami sat down across from her. “Mom…are you okay?”
Marlena looked up at Sami dryly , “I am just peachy. The man I love is going over seas to meet his impending DEATH!”
Sami sighed, “Mom come on now…what did you expect him to do? You know John better than anyone. You know that he can’t just sit by while one of his children are in danger. What do you want him to do…just sit here and twiddle his thumbs while your son is over there fighting for his life?”
Marlena’s head snapped up, “NO…I don’t expect that! But why does he have to be the one that has to go? Why can’t the ISA or the military handle this?” Marlena shook her head thinking about the situation.
Sami contemplated her mother quietly for a moment, “I know that look on your face. Mom what are you thinking?”
Marlena took a deep breath, “Something isn’t right about this whole situation. John is keeping something from me…he is being so…pigheaded about this whole thing. It makes me think that there is something else driving him…something besides rescuing our son and the other boys.”
Sami smothered a laugh, “With all do respect mom…how would you know if John is keeping something from you? You haven’t said two words to the man in DAYS!”
Marlena glared at her and was about to respond when Hope sat down at the booth with them, “Hey there you two…how are you holding up?”
Marlena huffed and Sami looked at Hope. “Mom is having a hard time…she is pissed because John wants to play hero.”
Hope reached across the table and patted Marlena’s hand, “Marlena I can’t believe that it actually surprises you. John has always been the one to play the knight in shining armor.”
Marlena’s head hung low, “I know that…god only knows how many times he has risked his life to save me from Stefano! But this is… different. At least with Stefano we knew what to expect most of the time. But this time…he is going into a WAR ZONE! I just have this …nagging feeling in me heart that SOMETHING is going to go wrong!”
Hope did her best to reassure her, “Marlena, John is a trained professional…I am sure everything will be fine. He will rescue the boys and come home to all of us safe and sound. Besides…it isn’t like he is going with out any back up.”
Marlena nodded, “That is true enough I guess. I just don’t get why John will trust the ISA to back him up…but he wont trust them enough to do this on their own. I guess it is comforting to him that Roman and Bo are going with him to watch his back.”
Hope and Sami trade confused glances. Hope shakes her head, “Okay…you totally lost me there. Marlena…Bo isn’t going with John and Roman.”
Marlena’s eyes glace up to Hope, “What do you mean…Bo isn’t going?”
“Bo was never going over there Marlena. As a matter of fact…he left town yesterday on a police investigation.”
Marlena eyes coat over with a fiery glaze as she glances back and forth between Sami and Hope. After a brief moment their attention got diverted by the loud audible gasp that came from over by the bar. They rose from their seat at the table as they observed Caroline who was grasping the bar to support herself. They rushed over to her and Marlena spoke first, “Caroline what is it…what’s wrong?”
Caroline looked up at her with a shocked expression, “There has been an accident.” Marlena, Hope and Sami all trade glances and then look back to Caroline as she continued. “It‘s nothing life threatening but…it‘s Roman…he‘s been shot!”
Sami’s knees wavered and Marlena braced her as she spoke, “Shot? How the hell did he get shot…him and John were supposed to be at a meeting?” Suddenly Marlena tensed and her heart constricted, “John…what about John…is he okay?”
Caroline shook her head as she composed herself, “They didn’t say Marlena, all they said was that Roman was on his way to University Hospital.”
Marlena grabbed Sami by the arm, “Come on sweetheart…lets go see what’s going on with your daddy.” Sami and Marlena retrieved their belongs and were out the door.
Marlena and Sami rushed into the hospital room and saw Roman lying on the bed… his leg elevated on a stack of pillows. Sami rushed over to his side, “Daddy…oh my god daddy are you okay?”
Roman met her gaze with a slight smile, “I am fine peanut…it is nothing to serious. I wish the doctors hadn’t worried all of you.”
Marlena stepped around Sami and into Roman’s line of site. Worry creased her brow, “Roman are you really okay?”
He nodded, “I am fine Doc. I was shot twice in the leg…which means I will be on crutches for a few months. Nothing to worry about.”
Both Marlena and Sami breathed a collective sigh of relief. Fear suddenly pierced Marlena’s heart, “What about John…was he hurt?”
Roman shook his head, “No Doc… last I saw of him he was fine. He was a little shaken up but that is all.”
Marlena felt the weight lift from her shoulders….and anger over took her again. Marlena fought to keep her composure but was loosing the battle. Something was not right about this whole situation and she was determined to find out what EXACTLY was going on. “Roman since you are okay…I have to ask you…what the HELL is going on?”
Roman shook his head and spoke wearily, “I’m…I’m not sure what you mean Doc.”
Marlena let out and exasperated sigh, “Don’t give me that Roman! There are things about this so called ‘mission” that you and John are keeping from me!”
He shrugged his shoulders, “Like what Marlena?”
She glared at him, “Like for instance…why was I under the impression that Bo was going with the two of you on this trip…when Hope just informed me that he is out of town?”
Roman shrugged yet again, “How am I supposed to know…I wasn’t the one that gave you that impression.”
Marlena’s rage took over, “Don’t be flip with me Roman.” Marlena paced the room and then walked to the foot of his bed…her hands gripping the rail so hard that her knuckles were turning white, “Alright then tell me this…how in gods name did you get SHOT if you and John were having a simple meeting?” Roman sighed and was about to speak when Marlena stopped him, “Tell me the truth Roman! I am sick and tired of all of you treating me like I am going to fall apart! I want the TRUTH and I want all of it right now!”
Roman held his hands up to stop her tirade. “Okay…okay! The truth…John and I were at a meeting…but it wasn’t exactly a simple or productive one. We were called to met with some ISA agents down on the docks.”
That was all he said and Marlena began to get inpatient. “Why Roman?”
He huffed, “They wanted to tell us that…that they decided that our plan to rescue the boys was no longer a viable option. They said it wasn’t fool proof and they would not be able to carry it out.”
Sami began to get impatient as well, “And what…you disagreed and they shot you? What aren’t you telling us dad?”
He glared at her and then he continued, “No Sami. John began to argue with them that the plan was a good one and that their was no reason why we shouldn’t carry it out. He got all pissed off and told them that there was no time to spare…and that he wasn’t going to sit around and wait for them while the people he loves are in danger. Well in the middle of this argument…two men came out of no where and started shooting…but I was the only one hit.”
Marlena gasped, “Are you sure…no one else was injured?”
Roman nodded, “That is the thing Doc…it was as if these men were aiming directly for me.”
A blank expression took over Marlena’s face while she processed the information…but Sami’s mind was in full gear. She turned to Roman, “Now I know that I am not a cop by any means…but I have enough police officers and ISA agents in my family to know a thing or two…and to me…this sounds like a setup!”
Marlena’s head snapped up and glanced at them, “A setup…Roman this makes no sense. Why would someone want to set you and John up?”
Roman shook his head, “Not us Marlena…John! This was a setup for John.”
Marlena held her tears at bay. She ran her hands through her hair stopping to take handfuls into her grasp. Her world seemed to be spinning out of control and any moment now it was going to fly off it axis. She took yet another deep breath to calm herself, “Roman…this is not making any sense. Who would want to set John up and what do they think they will gain from it? I want the whole truth Roman!”
“Doc…who ever shot me wanted me out of the way. You see the last meeting we had with the ISA we held at the police station. But as standard ISA procedure…they did a sweep of the office…and when they did…they found a listening device planted in the room. That is why we meet on the pier today…and that is why they called off the mission…because our plan was compromised. Who ever planted that bug knew that the ISA would call off the mission…but they also knew…”
Sami gasped, “They also knew…that John wouldn’t wait.”
Roman nodded, “Exactly! We are positive that the people that shot me today…did it on purpose so I would be laid up…leaving John…”
Marlena wiped the tears from her eyes, “Leaving John all alone.”
Sami walked over to her mother and hugged her fiercely turning to Roman. “Dad…I am assuming that who ever did all of this are the same people that are holding the guys hostage right?” Roman nodded blankly. “Then it seems to me that these people know John fairly well…does that mean…does that mean that you know WHO has the guys?” Roman glanced away from Marlena’s crying form and nodded.
Marlena swiped at her tears fiercely, “You do? How long have you known…and who is it?”
Roman shook his head, “Marlena…it really isn’t my place…”
“Bullshit Roman! You and John had no right to keep this from me. In case you have forgotten I have a son over there…not to mention your son, my son-in-law, your nephew and the father of OUR grandson! I want to know WHO is holding them hostage and how long you have known it!”
He grunted in frustration, “ALRIGHT! We have known for a few months now okay.”
Marlena gritted her teeth, “A few MONTHS? Oh…my…who is it Roman? Who has the guys? Who is setting my husband up…So help me god if…”
Roman had finally met his breaking point, “TONY…okay…TONY has them!”
Marlena stumbled back from the bed as though the wind had been knocked out of her. She slowly stumbled over to the chair and sat down, cradling her head in her hands…with tears pouring down her face. She shook her head as her mind raced. “It all makes sense now. Why John was so determined to go on this mission no matter how often I begged and pleaded with him not to. This whole thing was about Tony getting his revenge on John. What better way to do that then taking our son hostage. He knows that John would risk his life to save him and the others. He wanted John alone and vulnerable …” Her tears had since dried and were replaced with anger and worry. Her eyes shot daggers at Roman. “Where is he Roman?”
He hunched his shoulders, “Who?”
Marlena walked up to the side of the bed , “Who…John that’s who!”
“How am I supposed to know. I was a little busy being shot Marlena…it didn’t cross my mind to baby sit your husband.”
That set off her ire. ”Bull… John put you up to this.” She waived her arms around signaling to Roman lying in the bed. “I mean come on…you were shot in the leg for gods sake…it isn’t as if you were knocking on deaths door! You had them call the pub and tell us you were shot and not give any specifics KNOWING that we would come rushing down here to see if you were alright! Which would give John time to leave without giving me time to catch up with him and stop him!” She leaned closer and grabbed Roman by the front of his hospital gown. Sami came over and tried to pull her off of him but she wouldn’t budge. “So help me GOD Roman…if I don’t catch up with him and he goes over there and walks right into Tony’s trap….you better be prepared. Because I am going to come back here and BREAK your other leg!”
Sami gasped, “MOM!” Marlena shoved Roman back onto the bed and stormed out of the room. Sami panicked and looked at Roman, “Oh god…I have to go and catch her before she does something that she will regret.” Sami kissed her father hastily on the cheek and ran after Marlena…leaving Roman there regretting that he ever opened his mouth…and cursing John for putting him in this position!
The Jarlena Journal 