It had been 3 weeks since John had moved out of the penthouse. Unable to deal with the constant anger that tinged Marlena’s voice when they spoke. He couldn’t take living with the look of disgust that crossed her face every time they had tried to talk their way back to one another, and he couldn’t handle the guilt that she had chosen to give up her practice due to the chaos caused by her session with the woman they had thought to be Hope.
You abandoned me
Love don’t live here anymore
Just a vacancy
Love don’t live here anymore
It was the knowledge that she had pushed him to leave that had driven her to the pace she was tonight. Always known for keeping her composure, and never losing control in the face of a problem, her husband, and the rest of her friends would have been disappointed to find her like this. Alone in the penthouse, dressed in a pair of John’s old sweats that had been left behind, and hugging a bottle of brandy to her chest. Giving up the thought of using a glass long ago. The song on the radio seems to do nothing but add to her pain, as she leaned back against the couch, wishing the alcohol would take away the pain in her heart, and wondering what he was doing in his hotel room across town.
When you lived inside of me
There was nothing I could conceive
That you wouldn’t do for me
Trouble seemed so far away
You changed that right away, baby
John sat in the hotel room across town, consumed with similar thoughts. He had wanted this time with Marlena to be filled with nothing but happiness, and once again, the effects of Stefano Dimera had resounded through their lives, shattering his Doc in the process. That damned chip, the one that had brought him to Marlena in the first place, had in the last few weeks, served to be the item that tore them apart. The flashes of his time on the sub with Gina attacked his mind bringing waves of nausea to wrack his body.
You abandoned me
Love don’t live here anymore
Just a vacancy
Love don’t live here anymore
As he reached for the bottle that sat on the table in front of him, his mind once again went to Marlena. John hadn’t seen her all week, nor had he heard from her. The last Sunday had not been an easy meeting for them, as he’d dropped Belle off at the door, he had hoped to be able to persuade her to talk. To his dismay, he’d had no luck. Thinking back yet again to that night, he couldn’t help remembering that something different had shown in her eyes as she once again asked him to leave. It had seemed to be a look of confusion, making him wonder if she really wanted him gone or not. Glancing at his watch he made note that Belle wouldn’t be home for hours. Grabbing his keys, he headed out the door to the penthouse, intent on making one last effort to bring her back to him, willing to work for what was most precious to him.
Love don’t live here anymore
Just emptiness and memories
Of what we had before
You went away
Found another place to stay, another home
Setting the bottle down on the table, she lifted the photo album that had caught her attention. Filled with all the happy memories that she had shared with John, she allowed the tears to fall, having fought them long enough for one night. Flipping thru the pictures, she was struck by the look of happiness on their faces as they faced the world for the first Time as Mr. and Mrs. John Black. That had been less than a year ago, leaving her to wonder how their lives could have gone so wrong.
You abandoned me
Love don’t live here anymore
Just a vacancy
Love don’t live here anymore
John pulled the jeep into the parking lot of the penthouse, wasting no time, he jumped out of it and ran into the building. Growing impatient with the elevator, he pounded the button, almost to the point of bounding up the stairs, as the doors finally opened. Stepping on he punched the button, sending him on his way to the 17th floor. Stepping off the elevator he was torn by whether to knock, or use his key. Deciding he’d rather enter on his own, he pulled his key out of his pocket, opening the door slowly, almost nervous of what he would find. Glancing the figure in the couch, he felt the tears spring to his eyes. The pain she had been feeling obvious, as she hugged the photo album to her chest. This was going to be harder than he thought. Closing the door, he moved to the edge of the couch, standing just behind her as he spoke her name, hoping upon hope that his nights away from home had ended.
“Doc?”….
“John…” she whispered disbelieving that he was really there. Lifting off the couch slowly, she allowed the album to hit the floor. Not sure where he was going with this, she wiped the tears that streaked her face, prepared for the next step that they were destined to take.
The Jarlena Journal 