Like Broken Glass – By Hazel N Blue

“Hey pal! Why don’t cha’ watch where you’re goin’!?”

 

I look up, my eyes focusing first on a pair of black cowboy boots then moving to a pair of dark jeans and a cream suit jacket; silently, I curse myself for being so clumsy. “Sorry, man.”

 

He grins with discolored teeth, and I wonder if it is from booze, tea, or coffee. With a look at his stature, bulging gut, and black eyes that peer out beneath a cream cowboy hat, I figure it’s booze. “Well. You gonna get outta my way there boy?”

 

Nodding, I move along the street, letting him pass. “Just like the show.” I slip my hand in my jean pocket, pulling out the Post It note my fingers have nearly worn into oblivion. The pencil is now barely visible, having faded over time, yet its message is burned into my brain. Dallas Fairview, Room 429. “A promise, is a promise.” I’ve finally reached the large stony building that holds my world.

 

“Hello, welcome to the…” Some bright cheery 6 ‘7 doorman, with what I’d call a ‘patch head’, begins to say.

 

“Thanks.” I cut him off; there isn’t time for stupid formalities. My eyes glance to and fro throughout the lobby. No sign of her. I look to my left; half a dozen people are waiting for the elevator. After weeks, I can’t wait any longer—the stairs welcome me as I climb them two at a time. Everything plays in my mind with each step—first touch, first kiss, first time…it’s all here.

 

Before I can lose myself, I find the fourth floor and blaze down the clean hall. My ceruleans study the numbers. 426. 427. 428. All breathing stops when I see it. 429. With a shaky hand, I reach up to knock. “Come on just do it.” Whispering, I grit my teeth and move my hand back—ready. One knock. Two. Three. She isn’t here. The moment, the only thing I’ve dreamt of, all of it…is not here.

 

“You alright?”

 

I turn to see the face the voice belongs to, a slim middle aged red head with the greenest eyes I’ve ever seen. “I’m fine.”

 

“Yep? I don’t believe that. The girl that was staying in that there room went out about an hour ago.” She grins arrogantly.

 

“How’d you know…”

 

“I saw you stand there for about 5 minutes before knockin’. Then I saw your face when there wasn’t any answer.”

 

I have found the busy body. “Then I guess you’ve got me.” Shrugging, I cross my arms across my blue and white striped button down shirt.

 

“She’ll be back ya know?” She places her hand on my arm.

 

Nodding, I glare at the crimson walls before speaking. “Thanks Miss…”

 

“Miss? I’ve been married for the past twenty years. To different men of course, but isn’t that the spice of life.” She stops abruptly as if she’s offended me. “Call me Sly.” Sticking her hand out, she flashes her eyes my way, and I feel the enormous diamond that is on her ring finger.

 

“Black, John Black.”

 

“Oh…that does sound familiar. Are you an investor?”

 

Despite myself, I laugh. “No, I’m afraid not.” She is obviously an oilman’s wife, or at least has been.

 

“Hmm. Silly me, I never did ask.”

 

“Ask what?”

 

“Are you married to the pretty little blonde?”

 

I run my hand around my neck, pulling at the muscles that tense at the mention of the blonde. “Not exactly.”

 

“One of those situations.” Her emeralds are judging curiously with each syllable.

 

“No no,” Shaking my head in protest, I look behind me—no one in sight.

 

She catches my attention again. “How long have you loved her?”

 

“Excuse me?!”

 

“Oh there’s no use in playin’ coy. I know that look when I see it. And I see it in them blues of yours.”

 

She’s obviously not going to leave; giving up all reservation, I sit down on the gold flowered carpet across from 429. “Okay, I’ll tell you, but you might want to take a seat because it’s going to be a while.”

 

“I certainly have ‘a while’ to kill. So, spill it.” She sits down across from me.

 

“Four and half months ago, I walked into a bar called The Dark Phoenix with a smirk on my face and a couple hundreds in my pocket. I’d never been to the place, although it’d been there for as long as I’d been in Cali. Ever since I’ve wondered what would have happened if I’d of walked in there earlier. But I guess it doesn’t really matter now, the important thing is that I did. Because that’s where I met…Marlena—”

 

***

 

Smoke, sweat, and alcohol pervaded my lungs as I stepped into The Dark Phoenix bar. The walls were crimson, but chipped white near the booths in the far left corner. It was dirty, just like everything else I’d seen in my life. I was charmed instantly; it must have been 4:00 A.M., yet no one here seemed to notice. Out of the ten customers I saw, seven male, three female, there was one in particular who caught my eye.

 

“Dean ‘Mustang’ Bordeaux, how ya been?” He was the same as I’d remembered, still drinking alone and still wearing that trinket of a wedding band.

 

“Black! You got to be kiddin’ me. Never thought I’d see you in this part of town. Or rather this far away from…” He pointed to the fresh bruise that ran along my right cheek.

 

“Well, business is good. In case you were wondering.” Winking, I pulled up a stool next to him. “Congratulations.”

 

“Hold on Black. I should be congratulating, what are you congrats-ing about?” He threw down a shot of bourbon.

 

I took my black leather jacket off, sitting it across the next stool. “I can still understand you, and you aren’t wallowing in your own…”

 

He put a hand up to stop me, “I get it! Geez. It’s not like this is my fault.”

 

Nodding, I pulled out enough money for a couple of victory beers from my wallet, before tucking it back into my jean pocket. “She still missing?”

 

He never turned his dark browns toward me, just kept staring at the wall long enough to memorize the Mississippi license plate in front of him before responding with a solemn nod. The truth was his wife wasn’t missing; she’d left him five years ago. Mustang just didn’t have the heart to accept it and had far too much pride to admit it.

 

“Where’s the bartender?” I glanced to the end of the building, nothing but those other six men and three women were in sight. “How do they expect this place to stay open if no one’s gonna pour you a drink?”

 

“Ah, come on Black. Give ‘em some slack. It’s past four. They’re open twenty-four hours a day.”

 

“You want a drink, you got a drink. What ‘cha want hotshot?” She came in front of me before I had the chance to inhale, or maybe I just stopped breathing. I’d never seen anything or anyone so beautiful in all my life. She stood before me in a simple white tank and jeans, with a perfectly practiced ‘go to you know where’ look and flawless long blonde hair.

 

“Now, now, Sugar, don’t go ice queen on Black here. He’s a friend of mine.” Mustang spoke out of his glass.

 

“Yeah, okay.” She nodded; I’d expected her to smile, but there was nothing. “What would you like Sexy?” Placing both hands on her hips, she cocked her head to the side.

 

Lost in her hazel gaze, I smiled needing to see her do the same. “I’d like a beer, please. Oh and your name.”

 

She rolled her eyes and looked over at Mustang, who was pouring himself another shot. “You sure he’s your friend? Because normally that type of behavior gets a shot in the face.”

 

Feisty, I was intrigued and when she turned back to me, I decided to stand my ground. “Your name, Gorgeous?”

 

“That is none of your business. Now what kind of beer do you want?” Irritated, she crossed her arms.

 

“You don’t want to tell me your name, fine. Are you married?” I couldn’t just give up on her.

 

“Are you serious?!” She was either about to throw me out or shoot me with the water sprayer; I prayed it was the latter. “Either you tell me what kind of beer you want or you take a hike. Which one will it be?”

 

“Give me whatever is your favorite.”

 

“You really are impossible aren’t you…”

 

“Black, John Black.” I reached my hand across the worn wood bar top.

 

After what seemed to be an epic battle in her mind, she took my hand in hers. A small ghost of a smile trickled across her lips and vanished as quickly as it had appeared. “I can’t get you that beer if you are going to hold my hand all night.” I would have done it too if she had of let me.

 

“Oh, sorry.” I blushed despite my efforts not to, and watched her get my drink. “You know you still didn’t tell me your name.”

 

“I know, John. You don’t have to remind me, again. My name is…” She leaned down closer, inches from my face. My azures flashed to her lips, then flashed back to those captivating hazels. “For me to know and for you to find out.” Pointing into my chest, she pushed me back and left my beer. Before I had the chance to say anything else, she was gone.

 

Mustang erupted into chuckles, “Black, I do believe she just shot you down.”

 

I turned to him, raising my glass. “Maybe. But I’m no quitter.”

 

“Mister, you better chug that because you are officially outta’ here.”

 

Looking back around, I saw the body behind the words, a twenty-something modern day Goliath, with light brown hair. “What? What’d I do?”

 

“The boss wants you out. What you did is between the two of you.” He burned his green eyes into my forehead.

 

I balled both my fists; I could take him even after a night’s work.

 

Mustang sensed my intentions, “Go on John. Get on out before you kill him.”

 

“Fine. I’ll go…this time.” Gritting my teeth, I grabbed my jacket and headed for the pale grey door. I turned back one more time to look for her, but she was still no where in sight.

 

The last thing I heard before I left was Mustang, “Zeno, do you realize he could have snapped your neck in ten seconds? No? Well maybe this will make it clearer, Black is a cage fighter, the fighter.”

“Come on man! What is wrong with you, Black?” Turbo ran toward me, his black fingers gripping the metal fencing I looked out of.

 

Ribs burned in my chest, as I heard the guy behind me boasting to the spectators, “Can’t stay focused.”

 

“You best be gettin’ focused or there’s gonna be a lot of money lost tonight.” He slapped the metal, his brown eyes willing me to get up.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I hear ya.” My numb fingers pushed my body up, until my legs took over. The guy I was fighting was ten years my senior and drunk. I got careless with him, didn’t protect my left side as well as I should have.

 

“J’yall see it! Big Bray just took that shirtless punk dooooooooown.” He swayed back and forth before grabbing onto the cage.

 

“That ‘punk’…doesn’t stay down.” I grabbed him by his gritty blonde hair, pounding his face into my half tattered jean covered knee. Blood seeped from his forehead, a perfect bust; it eased the aching that cried from the collision point on my leg.

 

I kicked his ribs relentlessly—beer made men want to fight me, but over time I’d learned that beating a man’s friend to the point of brutality had even more of an affect. “Anybody else wanna piece?” I looked back at Turbo with a smile, only to see he’d turned his head away.

 

***

 

 

“Five, six, seven, eight, nine…,” I flipped through the greens, “There’s a thousand.” With a smile, I watched Turbo throw bottle after empty bottle away. “You didn’t watch. I thought you wanted to have a big night.”

 

He stopped cleaning the bar, the wrinkles near his eyes deepening. “John, it shouldn’t be like that and you know it.”

 

“Like what?! It’s a bloody sport, bloody business. What do you expect me to do?” I was only trying to make the man proud.

 

“You’re the best fighter I’ve got. The best one I’ve ever seen, but I hate it when you do that.” He went back to his work, taking an orange rag and wiping the splintered wood top.

 

What was his problem? Didn’t he get it, I did these things for Red Cove, for him. “I’m sorry that I can’t just put on two red gloves and go at it with them. It’s not boxing Turbo. If you want to change this place into a boxing joint, go ahead. See how much money that makes you. See how Sierra and the girls like it…”

 

Throwing the rag down, he turned stern eyes towards me. “I know it’s not boxing!” As if scared by his outburst, he softened. “I just wish it wasn’t so gruesome, sometimes it looks like you’re killing them. Like you could kill them.”

 

“Come on…,” I laughed my demons away, “I’m not going to kill anyone.”

 

With a smile, he turned the lights above the bar off. “Better not. Diver will be here tomorrow, and I need my best fighter in case he calls you outta’ the crowd.”

 

Grabbing my jacket, I smirked, “I hope Diver London himself calls me out.”

 

“That’s one man, I wouldn’t mind seeing you kill.”

 

***

 

 

Crimson walls greeted me as I stepped into the Dark Phoenix. The place was all but deserted with two customers making out in a booth near the white chips. I couldn’t stop the smile that danced across my face when I looked to the bar and saw the blonde. Her arms were crossed on the bar top, head down, asleep. Goliath, or Zeno as Mustang had called him, was no where in sight. I sat across from her and cleared my throat.

 

She stirred a little bit, moving her head to the right side, still resting on her arms. “Daddy no. No…don’t….” Whispering, she seemed calm despite her words.

 

My right hand shook her arm. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty…wake up.”

 

As her eyes fluttered open, she jerked up while I waved at her with a cheesy grin. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

 

“I came in for a drink. Can’t a guy get a drink? Or is your boss gonna throw me out again?” Watching her cross her arms across her chest, I smirked.

 

“My boss?” Rolling her eyes, she continued, “Why do you assume that I have a boss? Is it because I’m a woman?”

 

“No!” I moved my arms in protest, “No, I didn’t mean it like that.”

 

“Well, if you must know, I’m the one who owns the place.” A spark flickered in her hazels, while she looked over at the couple in the booth to seem nonchalant.

 

“So, you had Goliath throw me out last night?” It was beginning to add up. “Because you like me.” Grinning, I noticed her chest rise with her gasp.

 

“No! No I don’t! I don’t even know you.” She pulled self-consciously at the black tank she wore. “Look, what do you want to drink?”

 

Looking her up and down, I replied. “A tall glass of water.”

 

“Uh huh.” She nodded, and went to the drinks.

 

“Hey, I’m not some creepy pervert. I was just making a joke that’s all.” My fingers ran through my hair in frustration.

 

“Here you go, John.” She sat the water filled glass down.

 

“John? You remember my name.”

 

“So I do.” Expecting her to walk off, I was intrigued by the fact that she stayed.

 

“But you never told me your name.” I took a sip of water.

 

“I’m aware.” She was studying me, and I swallowed hard praying that all my war wounds were hidden beneath my change of clothes.

 

“You were asleep earlier. Do you want to go out and get some coffee?” I sounded like a fourteen year old.

 

“I’d love to go out and get some coffee. Thanks for watching the place.” She pulled a white cotton jacket out from under the bar.

 

“What? No. I meant we’d go together.”

 

Ruffling my hair, she glared into my eyes. “And who will watch the bar?”

 

“It’s four in the morning, you have soft porn in the booth back there, that’s all you got.” Standing, I put my hands in my jacket pockets. “Let Goliath watch it.”

 

“His name is Zeno and he’s asleep in the back.” I watched Gettysburg occur in her mind as she bit her lip. “I guess, I can lock up, but you have to get those two out.”

 

I followed her stare to the couple beneath the white chips. “Cover me. I’m going in.”

 

***

 

 

“You think that coffee is black enough?” She stared at me as I brought the cup to my lips.

 

Laughing, I sat it back down. “Yeah, I think so. What about you? You think you got enough candy in yours?”

 

A ghost of a smile trickled across her lips. “It’s not candy, John. It’s cream and sugar.”

 

“Same difference, sweetheart.” I brought the plain cup to my lips, letting the warm liquid slide down my throat.

 

“Don’t call me sweetheart.” Rolling her eyes, she stirred her coffee, the spoon she used tapping against the porcelain ever so often.

 

She was impossible. “Okay. Fine. Then what am I supposed to call you?”

 

“I don’t know.” Her eyes danced away from her coffee to the ashen walls of the IHOP, while I tried to suppress my smile. “Who are you anyway? I mean who comes into a bar at four in the morning?”

 

“John Black, that’s who.” Taking another sip of coffee, I watched her frown at my response.

 

“And just where did John Black come from?”

 

“I grew up here in L.A. Never knew my parents…I lived with practically every foster family in this city.” Immediately, I stopped, surprised I let so much slip.

 

Sympathetic eyes found mine, before she jerked them back to her coffee. “That’s life. One sucky thing after another.”

 

Shocked, I studied her as she used her spoon to play in her coffee. “No. It’s not like that at all. I’m fine. Grew up fine. I have a great job now.”

 

“Yeah. Sure you do. Keeps you up to four every night.” Her nose scrunches before she winks.

 

I tried to hold in my temper, but—“My parents or lack thereof have not ruined my life. And I don’t appreciate you insinuating that I’m some screwed up…”

 

“I’m sorry.” Interrupting, she let her glistening eyes find mine. “Almost everyone here is messed up and when you said that…well losing a parent can mess a person up and I just…” She stopped wiping at the tear that escaped.

 

Touched by her tears, I wondered if she wanted me to be a mess. “Who did you lose?”

 

“It’s not important.” After clearing her throat, she brought her coffee cup to her lips.

 

Nodding, I decided to let it go. “How’s your coffee?” It was lame, but I couldn’t come up with anything else.

 

“It’s amazing.” She replied sarcastically making me laugh. “But at least it’s not eating my esophagus.” Pointing to my cup, she nearly smiled.

 

“Hey, don’t knock it ‘till you’ve tried it, baby.” Grinning, I noticed her lips curve, finally.

 

“Believe me, I’d never try that, baby.”

 

“Okay, maybe not. But you should try smiling more.”

 

Blushing, she averted her gaze toward the maple syrup. “And why is that?”

 

“Because you’re beautiful.” I’d never used that term to describe a girl before, but it came out like a reflex.

 

Graciously, she kept smiling. “I think we should go.”

 

I watched her dig into her jean pockets, searching for money. “I’ve got you.”

 

***

 

 

We made it back to the Dark Phoenix less than ten minutes later. The sun was just beginning to wake as we reached the dull grey door. Gathering courage, I turned to her. “Thanks for coming with me. I had a nice time.”

 

With sparkling hazels, she tucked a stray piece of blonde behind her ear. “So did I.”

 

“Are you working tomorrow night or tonight whatever it’s gonna be?” Nervous fingers found their way into my dark jeans.

 

“Of course.” She rocked on her heels.

 

“Yeah, stupid question. Um…can you get Zeno to cover or something?” I prayed she’d answer yes.

 

“I guess I can, but…”

 

I could see the worry in her eyes, “I just wanted to know if you wanted to come over to my apartment for a late dinner, or early breakfast, however you see it?”

 

“You’re place.” Panic drifted across her face. “Sounds like a date and I don’t…”

 

“It’d just be friends hanging out. I mean, it’d be strangers who could become friends hanging out.” I stumbled through my words.

 

“I don’t know where you live.” Her hands went into her jacket pockets.

 

“I’ll pick you up here.”

 

“I don’t really know you, John. I just…”

 

“You can bring a gun. I don’t care. I’m not going to try anything.”

 

Smiling, she shook her head before looking down at her feet. “Not a date. Just strangers who could become friends?” Her gaze found mine.

 

“Exactly.” I nodded.

 

Taking a deep breath, she studied my face. “Okay.”

 

“Great! I mean, sounds good. See you tomorrow…” I paused not knowing what to call her this time.

 

“Marlena. My name is Marlena Evans.” She offered her hand and I took it, shaking it, but never letting those hazels out of my azures—it was a beautiful name.

I watched as Diver’s newest boy Roddy hammered his fist into forty-something Red Cove-rBrad. His bleach blonde hair flew with each thud, the skin outside his ribs beet red and turning. My eyes followed Roddy’s stare to Diver who sat eating peanuts. He was twenty years older than me, ten less than Turbo, but fit as I was. What unnerved me most about him were his black eyes, and I still hadn’t decided if they were real or contacts, though his black hair led me to believe the former.

 

“You think this Roddy is any good Black?” Turbo nudged me as we leaned against the bar.

 

“Are you serious?” I laughed, noticing Diver out of the corner of my eye watching us.

 

Turbo joined me laughing, “I guess I asked for that. But Diver brought the crew here tonight, instead of fighting at his own place…”

 

“Because he wants to take some of us out.” I glared into that scruffy face with black eyes and prepared for him to speak, unconsciously opening and closing my fists.

 

“Black! You’re next.” Roddy gritted his teeth, his finger pointed right at me, no doubt following orders.

 

I couldn’t help but smile back at him as I took off my shirt and entered the cage. “What kind of a name is Roddy?”

 

“The kind that’s gonna…” He came at me with a right hook to the side, but I kicked the outside of his left knee, sending him down.

 

“Shutup while I beat him? Yeah. That’s what I thought.” I smirked at Diver, who nodded before I felt fire in my right leg and hit the floor.

 

“You’re one smug…” His words blurred in my mind as I felt the trickle of blood reach my right eye. What was wrong with me? I never made mistakes in the cage. He kicked my ribs, bringing me back from my reverie. I had to get up. I couldn’t let Marlena see my face cut up and bruised.

 

“Did you grow up with loving parents?” I spat out my words, picking myself up, taking his blows as I powered my way.

 

“What?” He scoffed, placing his foot on my back, pounding me back to the floor.

 

“You did.” I swung my legs across him, cutting him down like a pine. In two steps, I was up, needing to see him bleed.

 

***

 

 

The street lights glared in the window, where I stood checking my face one last time. There was a curvy gash above my right eye, the bruise beginning to form around it despite my efforts to freeze it away. I couldn’t stand Marlena up, not after all the begging it took to get her to talk to me, much less come to my place.

 

“Here goes everything Black.” The door swung open before I had the chance to touch it.

 

“Oh it’s…you.” Zeno, glared down at me, his long face shadowed in the dark.

 

With a smile, I tried to annoy him. “I’m afraid so.”

 

He crossed his arms, brows furrowing. “I thought I threw you out.”

 

“You did, but the boss changed her gorgeous mind.” Winking, I moved closer to the door.

 

“I don’t know who you are, but if you hurt her…in any way I’ll kill you. That’s a promise.” He pointed his index finger into my face, making me wonder why he was so protective of Marlena.

 

Taking the high road, I simply nodded, and watched as he moved past me down the street. “Let’s try this again.” Entering the bar, I found the place completely empty, nothing but white chipped crimson walls, worn wood tables, and state license plates. “Marlena? It’s—”

 

“John!” Her voice rang out, as a smile captured my face. She came out from the back room—beautiful in jeans and a teal top, hair up messy, all smiles. “I’m starving!”

 

I laughed, watching her come to me. “Good! Because someone’s gotta eat all that food I made.”

 

“And what exactly did you make?” She reached for the door. As I watched her, my hand hovered an inch from her back. “John?” She jerked back around, causing my hand to land against her side. Electric—she felt it too; I could see it in her eyes. Nervously, I snatched it back.

 

“Um…well I…I just.” Stammering, I wanted to shoot myself. “I got steak, baked potatoes, and salad. You like that right? It’s kinda generic. I guess. But I didn’t know what you liked, and…”

 

“Sounds great to me.” With a slight giggle, she shook her head and opened the door.

 

“Okay so I’m a dork.” Grinning, I waited for her to build up my bruised ego.

 

“I wasn’t gonna say that, buuuut…” She stopped walking, to see my reaction. My jaw dropped, but I couldn’t hold the look of shock and pain when she started laughing profusely—all I could do was join her and pray I’d hear it forever.

 

***

 

 

A1 was smeared on my plate, the last remaining remnants of steak littering the lake of dark maroon. On the way here, we’d talked about the weather, the difference between Coke and Pepsi, and every other frivolous conversation we could come up with. Marlena seemed to be at least, sort of, at ease with me, a far cry from the animosity of our first meeting. I watched her swirl her last piece of steak into her A1, her eyes followed, and a hint of happiness ran across her face as she placed the meat into her mouth. I found purpose in watching her, heavenly in the dim lights of the room.

 

“So, the steak must have been good?” I asked smiling, waiting to see her do the same.

 

My wish came true as I watched her lips curve. “Yeah, I guess so. After all, I did eat all of mine.”

 

“I like a girl with an appetite.” Slowly, I took a drink of my Dr. Pepper.

 

With a smirk, she stood up, walking to my couch, plopping down on the black leather. “What kind of entertainment do you got?”

 

“Huh?” I started clearing the small round table.

 

Laughing, she looked over at me. “Well, you did ask me to come over…I just assumed you had something for us to do afterwards.”

 

Of course the first thing I thought of was sexual, and my tendency to speak before thinking took over. “Oh I got something sweetheart.”

 

“Right.” She rolled her eyes. “Friends don’t do that.”

 

“So we’re finally friends?” Grinning, I sat beside her. Marlena stiffened and moved closer to the other end of the couch.

 

“I think your cooking and me are friends. I don’t know about you and me.” Her lips curved, before she looked ahead at the white wall.

 

“Alright, but I only cook for friends.” Winking, I waited for her to admit it.

 

With a sigh, she hid a smile and looked back at me. “Fine. You win. We’re friends.”

 

I had to know more about her, yearned to understand her. “And friends usually know a little about each other. So, Marlena Evans…why don’t you tell me a little about yourself?”

 

As she went to stand, I could see the panic in her eyes. I lunged forward, catching her arm in my hand—feeling her skin as I did so. “Wait. Are you okay? I mean all I wanted to know about was little things. Like where you went to school? Where you grew up?”

 

Her eyes went from my hand to my face, each step of the way she seemed shattered. A breath and she was mended. “I grew up in LA.” I watched her sit down again, thankful that she wasn’t leaving.

 

“Which part of town?”

 

Her eyes hit mine, hazel fire, she was thinking. “John, how’d that gash get there?”

 

“What?” She was good; once again I was on the ropes.

 

“A friend would answer that question.” Her arms crossed, while she stared at me quizzically.

 

Think fast, I told myself. “I guess…” My fingers reached up to touch it as if I’d never known it had existed. “…it happened this afternoon. I must have hit it while I was asleep or something.” Internally, I held my head in shame, that was positively the lamest excuse I’d ever come up with.

 

“Riiiiight.” She stood taking my wrist, leading me into the kitchen. “And you went to all that trouble to hide it. Not even knowing it existed.”

 

“What are you talking about, Marlena?” I was horrible at faking innocence, but I tried it anyway.

 

Letting go of my hand, she opened a cabinet. “Dimming the lights. Does that ring a bell?”

 

“What are you looking for?” I changed the subject; we’d become pros at the technique.

 

“A Ziploc bag or something. You need to ice that.” She was cute, standing on her tip toes to see into the cabinets. My eyes fixated on her hips in those jeans; again I fantasized about kissing her lips, imagining what she would taste like, willing my arms to be around her.

 

“Um…the right one.”

 

“Have you cleaned it?” She pulled the box out, grabbing a bag from it.

 

“Yeah.” The sound of cardboard and plastic scratching rang again.

 

“With what?” Skeptical, she reached into my freezer, dropping piece after piece of ice into the bag.

 

“Water.” Her eyes locked with mine before she shook her head.

 

“Boys.” Fingers slipped around my wrist again, and I smiled, following her into the bathroom.

 

Concerned, I watched her dig around the cabinet underneath my sink. “And just what are you planning on doing to me?”

 

“Found it.” She held up a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

 

Holding my hands up in protest, I backed away. “No…that’s really not necessary.”

 

“Big baby. It’ll sting for a minute. A minute, tops. Come on.” She pouted, knowing her strength.

 

Silently, I cursed, coming back to her. “Fine. Go ahead, Doc.”

 

“Hold still.” She held my face in one hand, and an alcohol covered wash cloth in the other. Slowly, she went in circles around the spot, finally grazing over it.

 

It was the closest we had been. I could feel her breath, my heart beating faster, as I waited for those hazels to look into my azures. For a moment, they did, but upon realization and feeling, they were snatched away. “It hurts.”

 

“I can help.” She swallowed, before standing on her tip toes, her hand on the back of my neck as she pulled me closer. I watched her lips part, slowly. How would they taste? I watched her. There would be sparks if they touched; I was certain. I watched her—pass my lips, move to the point of slight pain. Carefully, she blew on the spot, easing the aching that lived there, igniting an aching elsewhere.

 

“Thanks.” It was barely audible, but enough.

 

She eased back down. “You’re welcome.”

 

Slowly, I slid my arms around the sides of her waist, my eyes following my movement.

 

“I should go.” Pushing my arms away, she walked out of the bathroom.

 

I had gone too far. “What about entertainment?”

 

Her fingers grasped the gold door handle, “Dinner was great. But…I think I need to go.”

 

“Don’t be scared.” The words stumbled out. A solemn click was my only reply, as the door closed taking all beauty with it.

There were no fights at Red Cove the next night; Turbo took the crew over to The X, Diver’s place following their agreement. With the night off, there was only one place to go and one person to visit. Curiosity had always been my curse, though I still treated it as a blessing. Afternoon orange reigned over the grey city as I made my way down the now familiar sidewalk. Finally, I reached the Dark Phoenix. With a deep breath, I peeked through the window. Though I saw a few customers, their faces distorted and fuzzy due to the glass, my eyes missed the person I was seeking.

 

“You again.” The words were cold and distant.

 

I turned to the door, ready to face the speaker. “Zeno. I came…”

 

“She’s not here.” He glared down at me, greens piercing beneath light brown hair.

 

“Actually, I came to speak to you.” There were a lot of things about Marlena I didn’t know, or understand, one being Zeno.

 

“Really?” Disbelieving, he crossed his arms across his chest.

 

“Are you involved with Marlena?” I searched his eyes, watched them soften. His brow furrowed before he spoke with solemn greens.

 

“No.” Saddness. There was loss in his voice, whether he wanted to be or had been, I did not know. However, he did tell me the truth. “What do you want with her?”

 

“I just want to know her.” The way he exhaled let me know how lame he thought my answer was. “I like her. Okay? I do. I like her and I don’t even know anything about her. It’s crazy. But it’s the truth, I like her.”

 

He smiled the kind of smile you’d use when your best friend wins the award you had your heart set on. “And she must like you. Otherwise, she never would have agreed to eat at your place the other night.”

 

I had hoped; I had known, but hearing it made it all the more real. “She came, but she’s so guarded.”

 

“She’s been through a lot, John. Eventually, she’ll tell you, just be patient with her. But if you can’t do that, then just…just leave her alone.” His eyes moved from me to the street behind; pointing in that direction, he went back into the bar. However, his stare never left.

 

“John, what are you doing here?” Marlena crossed her arms, leaning back on her right foot as she spoke dryly.

 

A smile lit my face at the mere sight of her, whether she was happy about our meeting or not. “I came to see Zeno. But I hoped to see you.”

 

“What business do you have with Zeno?” She arched an eyebrow, my usual mannerism.

 

“I came to ask him about you…”

 

“And just what did he say?!” Fear ran across her face. Though, I wondered whether she feared learning that Zeno betrayed her more than she feared hearing that I knew about her past.

 

“He just told me to be patient…that eventually you’d open up.” Her eyes softened, relieved. “Would you like to come over to my place? I still owe you a movie.”

 

Looking at the sidewalk, she kicked a small piece of concrete. “I can’t.”

 

“You can’t or you won’t?” I watched her raise her eyes to the window of the bar.

 

“I have to work.” She slipped her hands into her jeans.

 

Seemed like an excuse to push me away, so I continued, moving closer to her. “You sure you can’t get Zeno to cover for you?”

 

“No. I can’t keep asking him, I do have to pay him you know. Money doesn’t grow on trees, especially when you have to care of…” She stopped abruptly, and moved past me, grabbing the chipped grey door before turning back. “Maybe you should just, I don’t know…find a new friend. One who doesn’t have so many issues.”

 

“Marlena, wait.” I grabbed her arm, keeping her from going inside. “What if I help you run the bar tonight? Zeno can go home.”

 

A smirk formed on her lips as she looked me up and down. “How much will it cost me?”

 

“I don’t want anything; I just want to help you out. That’s what friends are for, remember?” I smiled, taking the hand she offered, shaking it ever so slowly.

 

“You’ve got a deal Black.”

 

***

 

 

Beer toppled out of the five glasses I juggled as I made my way to one of the booths, where a group of bikers sat eating out of their McDonald’s bags. There were two couples, and a third…person, whom I had yet to determine his/her sex.

 

“It’s about time boy!” The third one yelled as I made my way over.

 

“Leave him alone JD.” One of the women interjected before taking a bite of her chicken wrap. J.D., it could have been for either.

 

“Yeah, he’s cute.” The other woman spoke, her words muffled by the food that filled her mouth. I smiled politely, placing the last beer down on the table, trying to get the image of mangled chicken out of my mind.

 

The man to my right, pulled at his black beard. “Tell me, don’t you think it’s silly for Kathy and Sally to go to Mickey D’s and order up lettuce and paper?” The other man chuckled while Sally and Kathy proceeded to hit black beard.

 

“John! Wanna help me out!” Marlena called from the bar.

 

“Duty calls.” I excused myself and reached the bar in record time.

 

Marlena, with her back to me, was filling up glasses. I couldn’t not day dream. She turned around, sitting the glasses on the worn wood. “The table with the writer.”

 

Nodding, I took the whiskey. “You’re sexy when you’re bossy.”

 

She bit the sides of her mouth, attempting to keep her smile from showing. “And you’re…”she glanced at her watch, “already late.”

 

“Better late than never baby.” I winked and headed over to the black-pepper haired man.

 

He sat busy with his pen and loose-leaf paper. “Just sit ‘em down.”

 

“Mind if I ask what you’re working on?” His hand writing was atrocious.

 

Slowly, he lifted his head. “I’m writing a novel. And this one…this one is going to get published. I know it. It will. It has to.” His words came out softer as he finished, no doubt affected by emotion.

 

“I’m sure it will.” I lied, nicely. “What’s the title?”

 

“The Ketchup Stain.” He proudly proclaimed, pointing to a more orange than red blob on one of the scribbled papers.

 

As ridiculous as I thought it was, what right did I have to burst his dream? Instead of speaking my mind, I nodded. “Interesting.”

 

“John!” Marlena yelled, rolling her eyes.

 

I trucked it to the bar, “Yes ma’m.”

 

“Good boy.” She ruffled my hair, laughing.

 

“Oh I get it. You called me over here so that you could get your hot little hands on me. Right?” I laughed at her reaction—jerking her hand away from me and glancing towards the license plates that hung on the walls.

 

“No, I did not. I called you over here because you keep talking instead of serving.”

 

I loved it when her eyes did that, sparked. Leaning over the counter, I moved closer to her face. “I know something that would shut me up.”

 

“Oh really?” She leaned in closer, sending the butterflies out.

 

Our smiles matched. I moved closer. She didn’t pull away, but then…

 

“Marlena!” Zeno barged inside.

 

“What’s wrong?” She practically ran over to him, leaving me to stand and watch, something I never enjoyed doing. I followed slowly.

 

“It’s your…” His green eyes glanced my way and immediately he began to whisper.

 

“I’ve got to go home.” I heard her say, slight panic on her face.

 

Zeno nodded, and pointed my way. “You shouldn’t go alone.”

 

I reached them, and found myself thrown into a conversation neither of them seemed to notice I was witnessing. “John, can’t run this place by himself.” Her words bruised my ego, even if they were true.

 

“But I can.” He countered.

 

She hesitated.

 

“Marlena, take him and go.” Zeno persisted.

 

“Come on.” She took my hand as we went through the pale grey door.

 

“What’s going on?” I asked as we made our way along the sidewalk in the cool night air.

 

“I’m not sure, but my mom called Zeno and told him to tell me to come home.” I could hear the worry in her voice as we crossed the street. “Can we take your car?”

 

***

 

 

Thirty minutes later, we made it to Marlena’s house. I had thought about where she lived, and expected something atypical and lively. However, we pulled up to a small, faded yellow house with a yard spanning a mere five feet or so. Marlena jumped out of the car before I could put it in park, much less open her door. I followed the cracked cement path to the porch, reaching the ashen door I walked inside. Marlena was no where in sight. The living room and kitchen were practically the same room. The carpet was tan and the walls were off-white—nothing seemed like Marlena.

 

I moved carefully through the house, following the hushed voices that came from the bedroom. One bedroom. My eyes scanned the walls as I went. Photographs were the only thing that hung on them. Curiosity took over; I stopped in front of the largest portrait. It must have been expensive, despite the fact that it sat in a plastic frame. A man stood above the rest; a man with hazel eyes. Then there was an eleven or twelve year old Marlena, sitting proper—beautiful as she smiled the same smile as the man. Her mother, I assumed it was her mother, stood next to her well dressed husband, holding his hand. They all had on the most fashionable evening wear of the nineties. It was unsettling.

 

The voices had become laughs, and my worries subsided as I made went back to the bedroom. “Sorry to interrupt.” I knocked on the door frame.

 

“No interruption at all Mr….”

 

“Black. But call me John.” I presented my hand to the woman from the portrait who sat behind the bed that Marlena was seated on.

 

She wheeled herself around the bed, and took my hand. Shock must have resided on my face. “Oh it’s alright, John. You didn’t know. My name is Leslie Evans.”

 

Paralyzed, her mother was paralyzed. “It’s nice to meet you Ms. Evans.” I shook her hands, noticing her nose and blonde hair—they were Marlena’s.

 

“Oh call me Leslie.” She smiled. “I’m sorry that I alarmed you, Zeno never let me explain why Marlena needed to come home, the boy just panicked. I called because Beneath the Lamplight was coming on.”

 

“Mama.” Marlena stood up, moving herself between Leslie and me. Before her mother could say another word, she whipped around to face me. “She knows how much I love that movie.”

 

“Your father loved it more. I think it was his best.” Leslie added wistfully.

 

“I’ve seen the movie, came out in the eighties right?” I questioned, eager to learn more.

 

“Yes. And Travis…”

 

“Mama, I’m glad you called me, but I can’t stay and watch the movie. I really need to get back to the restaurant.” She bent to hug her.

 

“Oh my sweet girl, you work way too hard. You should stay.” I felt like an intruder, and in a way I guess I was.

 

“I can’t. But I’ll be back in the morning okay?” She released her hold and looked into her mother’s green eyes.

 

“Ok.” I saw a glaze of sadness as she looked into hazel; it faded in a flash. “John, it was nice to meet you.”

 

“It was nice to meet you too Leslie.” I shook her hand again, feeling the gigantic diamond that sat on her ring finger.

 

***

 

 

We moved through the living room; my eyes scanned the pictures again. Marlena and her father, playing the piano, riding horses, and anything else you could imagine. They had been close.

 

When we reached my black Mustang, I spoke. “Why did you say restaurant?”

 

“My mother wouldn’t like it if she knew I worked a bar.” Her words were matter-of-fact. I nodded and pulled out of the drive, into the street. She didn’t like my silence. “Go ahead.”

 

“Go ahead what?”

 

“Ask me. Ask me why.”

 

I studied her face, the best I could while driving. She wasn’t the same girl in the photo; I couldn’t ask her. I couldn’t hurt her. She wasn’t ready to tell me, and I wasn’t going to take advantage of the situation. “Okay, why did you name the place The Dark Phoenix?”

 

Pausing, she studied my face in the darkness, much like I had. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her relax into her seat. “Zeno named it. He loves the X-Men and Jean Grey is his favorite. So naturally, the Dark Phoenix saga is his favorite story.”

 

We laughed and quickly entered into a conversation about Marvel comic books. It was then I vowed to be her hero, no matter the cost.

Two nights passed by, and I was so tired from fighting that I took the night off. I’d visited The Dark Phoenixeach of those nights, but Marlena and I had only engaged in small talk. I got Turbo to advertise for the bar atRed Cove. Marlena didn’t know what I did, but she noticed that many of her customers were grungy looking males. I didn’t trust those guys; every night after the fights, I rushed over there to watch over her. She would have hated me if she had of known.

 

My head sat in my hands as I tried to drive the nightmares out of my head. They always came after a couple of hard fights. I slipped away from the dramatic black sheets that lay wrinkled across my bed, and walked into the kitchen. Then I heard a knock at the door. “I hope they don’t mind seeing me in boxers.”

 

“Why haven’t you asked?” Marlena burst into the room before I could utter a word; I’d barely gotten the door open.

 

“What?” I hadn’t even had my orange juice yet. No matter, I was awake when I looked at how cute she was with her hair up messy, wearing a pair of khaki shorts and an aqua tank.

 

For the first time since she barged in, her hazel eyes looked at me. Her breath caught in her throat. I assumed she was turned on by my navy boxers. “You and me. I mean, no not you and me. About the other night. Don’t you wear clothes when you answer the door?” Nervously, she tore her eyes away from me and I wished I had done a couple of pushups before leaving my bedroom.

 

A smirk crossed my lips, “I have on clothes.”

 

“You’ve got bruising near your ribs. How’d that happen?” She glared back at me.

 

Maybe she wasn’t turned on after all. I cursed inside at my stupidity. “It’s not important. Look, just make yourself at home, and I’ll go get some clothes.”

 

“And why do you sleep until noon?” I heard her question as I closed my bedroom door.

 

I grabbed a pair of red and blue plaid pajama pants, and a white tee from my chester-drawers. Nearly running, I went into my bathroom. My hand shook a little as I took my toothbrush, placed a glob of Colgate on it, and went at my teeth in record time. I didn’t bother fixing my messy hair, she’d already seen it.

 

“You ask a lot of questions to be so guarded.” I sat next to her on the couch, where she flipped through last week’s TV Guide.

 

 

 

“Why haven’t you asked?” She sat the magazine down, and turned to me with searching eyes.

 

“Asked what Marlena?” I needed her to say it; if I brought it up she’d believe all of her paranoia.

 

“Why my mother’s paralyzed? What’s with that humongous family portrait? Where my father is? Why I’m the way I am? Really, I could go on and on.” She stood up; I grabbed her hand again, exactly as I had the last time we were in my apartment.

 

My eyes locked with hers. “I want to know everything about you Marlena. But I don’t want to know until you are ready to tell me.”

 

“You mean that?” Searching my eyes, she moved closer to me.

 

“Yes, with all my heart.” I got lost in her hazels.

 

“I’m sorry.” Embarrassed, she hung her head, and covered her eyes. “I just thought you were being weird about it. Usually people ask.”

 

“Me weird? Never.” I winked, standing up next to her.

 

“Thank you, John.” She held out her hand, and I took it.

 

“Would you like to have breakfast with me?”

 

“Sure, I’d love to. But why were you out so late?” She watched me get my keys and slip on some New Balances.

 

“I came to the Phoenix remember?” With a smile, I opened my apartment door.

 

“Yes, I remember.” She dropped her questions, and erupted into giggles. “You are going to go out looking like that?”

 

“What?” I felt my cheeks getting hot.

 

“Your hair, Black.” She ruffled it, while I looked up, keeping my head still.

 

“Fix it for me, Evans.”

 

She smoothed it down. “There. You look great.”

 

“I was about to say the same thing about you.”

 

***

 

 

“The hangover hang out.” I shook my head. “You sure this is where you want to eat?”

 

“Yes.” Marlena laughed, going inside.

 

I followed close behind, as she sat down in one of the red cushioned booths. I sat across from her, and studied the tainted yellow walls. “I don’t know many girls who like this place.”

 

“Oh you said girls…I thought I was the only girl you knew.” Coyly, she glanced up from her menu.

 

“As a matter of fact, I know quite a few.” I left it at that, hoping she’d wonder just enough, but not too much. “Order whatever you want, this is on me.”

 

“Thanks. What are you getting?” She glanced up at me.

 

“I think I’m going to get a waffle.”

 

“How original.”

 

“And what are you getting princess?”

 

“A…um…okay I’m not original either.” She laughed and I leaned over the speckled table top, before I could speak our waitress arrived.

 

“Can I get cha’ anythin’?” The plump brunette smacked on her gum as she spoke, her nose took over her face.

 

“A buttermilk waffle, please. And a Coke to drink.” She pointed to me when she was finished.

 

“I’ll have the same.”

 

Gwen, as I deduced from her faded name tag, rolled her eyes. “Is Pepsi al’ight?”

 

“Sure.” We said in unison.

 

“Aren’t cha’ll cute? I’ll have your food as soon as Earl gets finished back ‘ere he has no idea what he’s doin’.” She muttered the last sentence and walked the five feet to the register and grill. “Earl!”

 

I tuned the rest of her speech out the best I could. “I hate stereotypes, but…”

 

“I know.” Marlena started laughing. “But really everyone who works here isn’t like that. Take a look at Earl.” She pointed.

 

Earl was flipping a hamburger as fast as his lanky arms would do it. He couldn’t have been older than twenty-one, and was hardly grungy. “Probably working his way through college.”

 

“How old are you?” She’d never asked me; I figured she knew.

 

“Twenty-five. How old are you?” I watched Gwen set our drinks down.

 

“Here ya go. Hollar if you need anythin’.” With that, she walked on to the table adjacent to us, where a couple of Japanese tourists sat with Kodak cameras hanging from their necks.

 

“Twenty-four. So, did you go to college?” She opened her straw, and placed it into her cup.

 

“Nope. The foster family I had my senior year could have cared less what I did, just so long as I stayed out of the house and they got their check. Anyway, I found a job, learned a lot. Did you go?”

 

“No. That’s why I run a bar.” She pushed down her ice and watched it float to the top.

 

I tore the white paper off my straw and placed it in my drink. “You and I are friends right?”

 

“Yeah, why?” Tilting her head to the side, she took a sip of her drink while looking at me.

 

“Do you need money?” It was a simple question; I didn’t care if the answer was complicated.

 

“I make it every week.” She focused her eyes on Earl.

 

I reached across the speckled top and took her hand. “Friends help each other out right?”

 

“I suppose.”

 

“Well if you haven’t noticed I support myself and that’s it. I don’t have family or anything to leave any extra money to. Or to help out for that matter. So, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to help you out. Just a little every week.” I waited for her to reply and I watched the silent battle that occurred in her mind.

 

“Okay, but only on one condition…you realize that I can take care of myself. I don’t need you to help me with money.” She held my hand and didn’t let go.

 

“You got it.” I smiled back at her.

 

“I completely forgot.” She stood up and pointed to the back, never letting go of my hand.

 

“What?” I followed as she pulled me along, my eyes found it before she spoke. “Jukebox.”

 

“Yes, jukebox.” She pulled out two quarters from her khaki shorts pocket and put them in. “What do you want to listen to?”

 

“I don’t know, what’s there to choose from.”

 

“Depressing…um…depressing…and more depressing.” She flipped through the selections, making me laugh. “Oh, Fancy!”

 

“What?” I looked closer, reading it was by Reba McEntire; I knew her name but hadn’t heard much country music in my lifetime.

 

“You don’t know Fancy?” Her jaw dropped as she pressed in B04.

 

“I don’t think I do. What’s it like?”

 

“Well, it’s about Fancy. She’s poor and then she becomes a prostitute, well sorta. Anyway, it’s kinda likePretty Woman.” I nodded as we stood patiently waiting for it to play.

 

I started to look around at the faces of the customers. There was a gang of what I assumed to be hung-over Frat boys in the left corner, the Japanese tourists, and a couple of Wal-Mart employees wearing their blue vests on the right—none of them looked like the type who liked country music. Finally, the music began to trickle out of the speakers, and all eyes fell on us.

 

Marlena stood on her tip toes, and whispered into my ear. “Maybe we should sit down.”

 

“Good idea.” I whispered back, taking her hand and finding our booth rather quickly.

 

“So you like it?” She asked as the chorus began to play.

 

“Yeah I think so. It’s very catchy.”

 

“Catchy? That’s not saying you like it.”

 

“Just be nice to the gentleman Fancy they’ll be nice to you!” Earl belted out as he flipped a burger. The Frat boys erupted into laughter along with the Wal-Mart employees. The tourists just stared at the poor guy, while the Waffle House gang shook their heads.

 

“Here ya go.” Gwen sat our plates down. “Everythin’ look al’ight?”

 

“Yeah, great.” I replied, while Marlena nodded.

 

“I’m glad you asked me to come.” She said cutting a piece off her waffle.

 

“I’m glad you came.” I smiled up at her as she took a bite, the fluffy piece of waffle grazed her lips—I envied it.

Marlena’s mother, Leslie, asked me over for dinner the next night, to thank me for helping them out with the bills. I could read the contempt all over Marlena’s face when she invited me. The more she thought about it the more she hated it. I wasn’t sure if it was the fact that her mother knew they needed help, or the fact that I was the one doing the helping. Then again, I think it was the fact that Marlena figured I was putting things together—the portrait, her father, the bar, her mom, that tiny house, and those sad eyes I saw the night we met. However, I was becoming increasingly worried that the time I was spending with Marlena was beginning to hurt my career. Even more so, I wondered if Marlena knew what I did.

 

“John, you really shouldn’t worry so much.” Sierra, Turbo’s wife, called over to me from two tables away as she took the chairs off the tables and sat them down upright.

 

“I guess not.” I blushed, checking the lock on the cage. “It’s just that…I dunno.”

 

Sierra had been there for me, as much as Turbo had. I valued her advice more than anyone else’s. Her green eyes followed me as I walked back to the splintered wood topped bar. “If that girl loves ya…really loves ya John, then she’s gonna love all of ya. Even the part that likes doing,” she waved her arms around, pointing to everything in Red Cove.

 

“But it’s different.” I leaned against the bar top, pulling my navy Yankees cap down even further over my eyes.

 

“How so?” She walked over to me, taking a chair from one of the front tables.

 

“When you met Turbo he was a boxer. The best there was at the time, fighting in Madison Square and all that. You fell in love with him, and then he got hurt. He had to quit. Quit with dignity.” I noticed for the first time that the wood floor beneath my feet was beginning to crack, and the dull grey of concrete was beginning to peak out.

 

“He didn’t want to quit. You know what the doctor’s said. One more time and he would have went blind. I don’t understand how it’s different.” She kept her green eyes on me.

 

“Fighting in that,” I pointed to the metal box that loomed to our right, “is a lot different than fighting with a ref in front of a crowd of people with two big red gloves on each hand. And I have no intentions of quitting.”

 

“So, what are you saying John? You aren’t going to tell her?”

 

“He better tell her.” Turbo came out of the back room, and bent over the bar top, in between where Sierra sat and I leaned.

 

“Why do you say that?” I gave him a lopsided grin.

 

“Because eventually, I’m gonna need ya to fight. And ya can’t be off gallivantin’ with that girl. Not if we’re gonna keep Diver from controlling this whole industry.”

 

“Turbo, really.” Sierra rolled her eyes, coming over to the bar.

 

I laughed at their banter. Remembering the time, I glanced down at my watch. “Well folks. I gotta head out.” I pointed behind me to the door, and hugged Sierra.

 

“You should tell her, Black.” Turbo added as I turned to leave.

 

“Oh and don’t forget to tell her she’s beautiful!” Sierra called out before I went into the afternoon sky.

 

***

 

 

I got to Marlena’s house ten minutes early. Promptness was the one useful thing I’d learned from my 4th foster family. The ability to lie from the 3rd had been just as useful; though I hated being lied to, sometimes the ability came in handy. I walked up to the faded yellow house, careful to notice the lilacs growing in a green plastic pot on the cement porch. Their blooms had yet to form, still I recognized them—my knowledge of flora attributed to Sierra. My fingers coiled into a fist as I knocked on the ashen door.

 

“Hang on!” Marlena called from someone in the house. I wondered what she would be wearing. “I’m coming!”

 

The door flew open. “Oh thank gosh! It’s you. Come on, I need you’re help.” Marlena grabbed my arm and started dragging me, causing me to trip over my own feet.

 

“What’s…” I stumbled, hitting and clicking my brown boots together, “What is it?”

 

“I was going to cook because I wanted to do something nice for Mama and well…” She stopped when she reached the bar top. I was speechless; she hid behind my shoulder. “It’s a disaster.”

 

There was flour everywhere, a couple of cracked eggs sat in a cup, a burnt rotisserie chicken sat in a black metal pan near the sink, half-cheesed half-plain macaroni noodles were scattered on the floor, and there was smoke coming from the oven. “Baby, what’s in the oven?” She moved in front of me. I couldn’t laugh, not with the serious face she was making littered with childish innocence.

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” She ran over to the oven, turning every knob she could find before grabbing a blue pot holder, and pulling out a pan full of black as coal burnt cake and red blobs, I assumed were at one time strawberries.

 

“Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh. Do not laugh.” I repeated out loud as slowly as I could, while she turned around to give me the death glare.

 

“Oh really? You think you can do better?” She tilted her head, putting both hands on her hips.

 

I raised a cocky eyebrow, knowing she needed to reconsider that statement.

 

“Okay, so you can cook.” Rolling her eyes, she went over to the cream couch and plopped down on it.

 

“Hey, don’t be sad.” I halfway sat on the back of the couch. “I’ll take care of everything.”

 

She didn’t reply, just sat there, staring across the room at that picture of her and her father riding horses together. I didn’t dare interrupt her, as a matter of fact, I felt like an intruder. Carefully, I eased myself of the couch, and started cleaning the kitchen.

 

“You don’t have to do that.” She walked over to where I stood wiping up noodles.

 

“I’m here to help.” I smiled and continued my task of cleaning the tan counter top.

 

“I can handle it.” She softly nudged me aside by placing her body in between me and my task. She took the white cotton rag from me before I could protest.

 

“Okay…” I was confused, but didn’t bother her. Instead, I opened the fridge and looked around for something to cook. Your basic condiments were in the side, a head of lettuce was in the bottom container, and your basic sandwich meat and cheese were in the pull out drawers. I started to ask about milk, but I saw the empty jug sitting next to the burnt chicken.

 

My eyes caught Marlena, and I stopped—watched her, the way she moved her arms as she cleared the counter of cheese, noodles, and flour, the way her hips seemed to move with her upper body’s motion. It was then I noticed the flour on her dark denim shorts, and I was glad she wore them. Her tanned legs seemed to go on forever and before I could gawk at her further, she whipped around.

 

“What are you doing?” A ghost of a smirk traveled across her lips.

 

My hand wrenched at my neck, attempting to pull the kinks out of it as I spoke. “Looking for something to cook.” I ignored her questioning gaze and went back to the refrigerator, this time opening the freezer. “Does your mom like French fries?”

 

“You’re going to cook French fries?” She asked as she mimicked my eyebrow gesture.

 

“Yeah, why? Does she not like them or something?” I pulled the bag of fries out and sat them on the clean counter, walking around Marlena in the process.

 

Taking the pan of black chicken, she dumped the meat into a Hefty bag that sat in the corner. “She likes them. I just expected more from the debonair Mr. Black.”

 

“You think I’m debonair?” I stopped rummaging in the freezer and turned my eyes her way.

 

“Not anymore.” She replied dryly, while she picked up the burnt cake and carried it to the same fate as the chicken met.

 

“Ouch!” I grabbed my heart.

 

She looked to the ceiling and rolled her eyes. “Okay,” she smiled at me, “if it will make you work faster then I guess you are…” she made perfect air quotes, “debonair.”

 

“That’s a fact.” I went back to digging in the freezer. I spotted a bag of chicken fingers and pulled them out triumphantly. “And here’s our main course.”

 

“Well, it’s better than nothing.” Marlena put the dirty pans in the sink.

 

“I didn’t have much to work with sweetheart.” I watched for her reaction out of the corner of my eye.

 

“You better be referring to the chicken and fries and not me.” She squatted down on the floor to look in one of the cabinets to the right of the oven.

 

I thought about going over there. I thought about moving her tank top down her arm, and kissing her shoulder and neck while my hands roamed over her stomach. I could hear her moan, and I wanted her.

 

“Look what I found,” her words brought me out of my dream as she stood up holding a box of yellow cake mix.

 

“Neat.” Internally, I rolled my eyes at the lameness of such a reply, and tried to verbally correct it. “Where is your mom?”

 

“Oh, mama is with Zeno. He took her to the art museum for me, so I could surprise her. I’m really gonna owe him for this; he hates art.” Her last words were rambled out, bubbly, as if she were talking to herself.

 

Zeno, again. I became jealous. What did she mean owe him? “How did you meet Zeno anyway?” I asked casually, taking the pan from her and placing the chicken fingers in.

 

She came over beside me with a pan of her own, and began to put French fries in. “We met in high school after I moved from the Academy. He was the only person…” She stopped, realizing what she was doing. I could see the fear run across her face.

 

I did the only thing I knew to do. “I hated moving schools. For every family there was a new school. It’s not fun being the loner.” I looked over at her, catching her hazels in my azures.

 

“No it’s not.” She let the words slide out, and I waited for more. “Zeno spoke to me from the first day till the last.” At ease, she went back to placing fries in the pan. “We’ve been friends ever since. He works for me because he hasn’t been able to get a job anywhere else. I mean we both graduated high school, but Zeno…he’s dyslexic and they didn’t care enough to help him with it when he was in school.”

 

“What about his parents?” I put the pan of chicken fingers in the oven, and turned the dial.

 

“When I showed up, Zeno’s father had just been put in prison for beating him and his mom. His father never touched his sister.” I took the pan of fries from her and placed it on the rack below the chicken. “Zeno doesn’t like to talk about it, but I know he never wanted them to find out he had trouble reading. I think that’s the main reason he talked to me. Because he needed someone to help him with his homework.”

 

“Maybe he thought you were beautiful.” I let it slip out, but I meant it.

 

“And you? What did you think when you met me?” She leaned back against the counter, moving her foot up her shin and back down, her hot pink toenails catching my eye.

 

I stood there with my arms crossed and spoke from the depths of my heart. “I thought you looked like home.”

 

She blushed immediately, and averted her gaze to the white linoleum floor.

 

My feet moved as if by reflex, and I was standing before her. I took my hand and lifted her chin up, so I could look in her eyes. Slowly, I moved my hand from her chin around to cup her face, and brought my other arm around her waist. Carefully, I pulled her to me. I felt her hand trace up the arm that pulled her closer and with her other hand she looped her finger into the belt loop on my jeans, drawing me near. She wanted me just as much as I wanted her.

 

Our eyes stayed locked, until I saw her smile, separate her lips and close her hazel eyes. I mimicked her movements and leaned down to her lips. My lips captured hers, sucking slowly at her top lip, our kiss slow and sensuous. She tasted sweet and warm. Tactfully, she grazed my bottom lip with her teeth. I didn’t have to think. I couldn’t. She pulled me closer, her fingers snaking into my hair, as we deepened our kiss. I felt her tongue enter my mouth and I fought back against her, brushing together here and there, in a heaven I’d never felt before. I heard her moan from somewhere deep, and I longed to make her do it again. I freed my hand from her hair and used both arms, placing my hands on her backside, picking her up, and placing her the counter. One of her hands began to rake beneath my shirt across my muscles and I moved my lips to her neck.

 

“Marlena! We’re back!” Zeno opened the door slowly, as he held it for Leslie to come inside.

 

I tore my lips away from her, and tried to stop breathing so heavily. Marlena hopped off the counter, I would have helped her but I was already aroused, touching her again would not have helped the situation. She smoothed her hair down and wiped at her lips, while she steadied her breath. I stood behind the counter, my upper half all that was visible to Zeno and Leslie as they came inside.

 

“Wow, it sure does smell good.” Zeno said as if he was reading a teleprompter.

 

“Wait. Is something burning?” Leslie looked over at Marlena and I.

 

We shrugged simultaneously, and grinned at them like children who’d just stolen the icing off the birthday cake.

I hadn’t laughed that much in a long time. Leslie was hilarious. Marlena must have talked to her, because she made only two references to Travis. One was how he used to cover his fries in ketchup, and the other was how he hated fried catfish. From my two encounters with the woman, I deduced that she talked about him all the time. It was my understanding that Travis was Marlena’s father, but still, I could have been wrong. By ten o’clock, Zeno had gone back to the bar, and it was just the three of us.

 

“Whaaat?” Marlena jumped off the couch, and turned back to me pointing at the television, while I burst into laughter. “He did not just blow up that submarine!”

 

“Yeah, he did.” I got out between laughs at how enthralled she was in the newest episode of Lost.

 

“Are you not surprised Mama?” She sat back down next to me—not as close as I would have liked, but still she was beside me—and looked back at her mother.

 

“I have a confession.” Leslie hid beneath her blonde hair, and twiddled her thumbs.

 

“Zeno heard it from that writer man at the restaurant didn’t he?” Marlena’s hazel eyes flashed fire.

 

“Well…yes.” Leslie looked back up, while I laughed at their exchange.

 

Marlena crossed her arms and shook her head. “Don’t you think that’s cheating?” She turned to me.

 

“Maybe.” I couldn’t think of a more safe answer.

 

“Maybe?! What kind of answer is maybe, John?”

 

Leslie started laughing, “I think he just doesn’t want to make either of us angry.”

 

I nodded and tried my best to look innocent. It almost worked.

 

“Nice try.” With a toss of her hair, Marlena sat back against the cream couch.

 

My cell phone went off, playing bits of The Killers’ Sam’s Town. The women watched as I fumbled with my jean pocket, and I heard them both snicker.

 

“Is that your girl John?” Leslie asked, with a twinkle in her emerald eyes.

 

“No…actually…uh…” I finally got it and looked at the caller I.D. “It’s my boss. I need to take this. I’ll be right back.” I went out the front door into the humid night, before either of them had a chance to reply. If Turbo called, then there was a reason, a very important massive reason.

 

“Hello…”

 

“John, ya got a bit of mail while you was out.” There was a smirk in his voice.

 

“From?”

 

“Diver. A hand delivered invitation to fight at The X tonight, at midnight.”

 

“Is that all it said?” I knew what this was. This was an invitation to come back with a broken limb, if they could stop me before I made them all bleed and regret ever underestimating me.

 

“Yep. It was signed by Diver himself. What cha’ gonna do Black?”

 

“You know what I’m gonna do.” They had tried this before, and I smiled. If I had my way I would fight Diver himself, make him wish he’d never been born.

 

“Be careful. You know you haven’t been at your best lately. I think ol’ Diver knows it, too. Must be why he decided to call you out.” His concern carried through his voice. I knew what he thought but didn’t say—Marlena was the reason I wasn’t as focused as usual.

 

“I will. See you tomorrow, send my love to Sierra and the girls.”

 

“You got it.”

 

I closed my cell shut and dropped it back in my pocket. Looking back across the street at the paint chipped green house that sat squashed between a grimy white one and a blue one, I took a deep breath, stretched out my arms, and opened the door.

 

“You can’t keep pushing everyone away.” Leslie told her daughter, who nodded, then whipped around when she saw me.

 

I pretended I hadn’t heard a thing, and came over to them. “Looks like there’s an emergency at work. I’m gonna have to go. Thanks for the hospitality Ms. Evans.” I bent down to embrace her in a hug.

 

“I told you to call me Leslie.” She winked, as we released our hold of each other.

 

I nodded, and looked over at Marlena, expecting something from her.

 

“I’ll walk you out.” She got off the couch and led the way to the door. I followed her and tried my best not to study her curves, since her mother was behind us probably doing what any mother would do, watch our every move until we were out of sight.

 

“I had a nice time.” I watched as she shut the door, placing her arm against it, turning her back to me.

 

“So did I.” With a smile, she turned back to me. “Will you do something for me?”

 

“Anything.” I returned her smile.

 

Her eyes danced around the porch before coming back to me, “Be careful.”

 

“It’s just work.” I brushed it off.

 

“Sure it is.” Her smile faded before she reached out for me.

 

I fell into her embrace, pulling her close to me, kissing her head. “I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”

 

“Okay.” She let her hands fall from my waist.

 

“Goodnight.” I held her hand, kissed the top of it, and turned to walk away. I felt her eyes on me until I reached my black Hyundai Tiburon. That’s when I knew. She cared.

 

***

 

I walked into The X with my head high. I had my black leather jacket on, and my light wash “work” jeans. The blood stains that littered them a testament to the things I could do. The room was filled, though I caught one person in particular out of the crowd—blood red hair has a tendency to stand out in front of a grey-blue backdrop. It was Fain; Diver’s favorite call girl. She sat in his lap, sharing a cigarette with him. I watched how he clawed at her exposed thighs—hardly covered by her black leather mini. Fain couldn’t have been more than twenty; I think that’s why it bothered me so much. It just seemed wrong. She bobbed her head back, her black and crimson hair flying in motion as she laughed, while he brought the burning end closer and closer to her black and red lace corset exposed cleavage. He was scum.

 

“Well, well, well…John Black. I was beginning to wonder when you were going to show up.” His words slithered out, his black eyes on me.

 

“You said midnight. Why should I come any sooner? I don’t particularly enjoy the company.” I looked around the room. An addict here, a prostitute there—thugs, and every other dark walk of life paraded around the joint.

 

“Oh Johnny…” Fain strolled over to me, raking her index finger down my chest, her painted black lips pouting. “How can you say that?”

 

“Easy.” I thought about flirting with her, just to make Diver’s blood boil but changed my mine, averting my eyes over Fain’s shoulder to Diver. “I thought I was here to fight, not entertain your unsatisfied consort.”

 

“Amusing.” He stood up from his chair, all others around watching him come to his full 6 ‘5 height. Fain turned back, dejected. “Sit.” He barked at her; she followed orders.

 

“Have you ever heard of manors?” I stood as tall as I could, unwilling to look up at him.

 

With a smirk, he turned those black eyes on me. “Get in the cage.”

 

“Gladly.” For the first time since our conversation began, I noticed that everyone else inside had went silent, all eyes on our exchange. They knew what they had come to see. Too bad they would be disappointed.

 

I took off my jacket and white tee, leaving them on the brown stool that sat beneath the cage. Stretching my arms, I awaited my competition’s arrival. There was a break in the crowd, as Diver took his seat with Fain near the right side. The thirty-something man climbed in. He was bald, built, and an inch or two shorter than Diver.

 

The citizens of the underworld began to chant, “Thermidor!”

 

I took a good look at him as he boasted and threw his arms in the air to call for their support, and nearly had to bite the insides of my cheeks to keep from laughing at the spectacle. What kind of a name was Thermidor? “Hey! You wanna fight or you wanna prance around up here all night?”

 

“I fight.” He replied with a thick French accent before coming at me full speed—his first mistake.

 

***

 

It took three kicks, six punches, and one chokehold, but I knocked the Frenchman out. As I stood above him, I found Diver’s furrowed brow. “Bring on some tougher competition next time.” I waited for him to step up as his entire crowd watched.

 

“Get out of here.” It was a commandment, like all of his words. “Rummy! Get in and take bets.” He gestured to the blonde man sitting next to him.

 

I grabbed my shirt and jacket, ignoring the pain in my sides, and the blood that seeped out of knuckles. “Pay up.” I stood over Diver.

 

“Give him his money.” He spat at the scrawny rat looking man next to him.

 

He pulled out a metal brief case, and handed me two bills. “This is two hundred. It’s supposed to be two grand? Remember?”

 

“It’s two hundred Black.” Diver stared me down.

 

“That’s not what the contract says. You and Turbo signed it. You come over and win; it’s two grand or more. Give it to me.” I directed my attention back to the greasy haired rat, who looked to Diver.

 

“Give him a thousand. And he’ll take that…” I glared back at him, the muscles in my cheek tightening. “Unless he wants Joey and Rummy to meet him out back with an axe.”

 

I snatched the money from the rat, and turned back to Diver. “You’re gonna pay for this.” I made my way through the crowd, pushing the thugs out of my way until I felt the midnight sky. I paced down the street—back and forth on the pavement. Kicking a couple of pieces of broken concrete, I ran my hands through my hair in an attempt to rid myself of anger and frustration. Adrenaline pumping, I turned back, stormed to the door, and put my hand on the handle.

 

***

 

I couldn’t do it. She cared, and I couldn’t hurt her. It was suicide to go in there, and for once in my life I listened to my mind instead of my emotions. After a quick shower and change of clothes, I went back to following my heart, and showed up at Marlena’s house.

 

Stealthily, I stalked around to the bedroom window. A light flicked on in the living room, and I went to check out who was up. Tactfully, I knocked on the kitchen window. Marlena sat up from the couch, wearing blue cotton shorts and a white cami. I saw the smile on her face as she came closer. She slowly lifted the window.

 

Giggling, she asked. “John, what are you doing here?”

 

“What are you doing up?” I countered, enjoying how she was bent over, her hands on her knees.

 

“Couldn’t sleep.” She looked down then back up at me. I thought she was about to say more, but she didn’t. I wondered, and in a way hoped, she was worrying about me.

 

“Same here.” I winked. “Can I come inside?”

 

She grinned and looked toward the hall. “Mama is asleep. I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

 

“Pleaaaaase.” I pouted.

 

“Okay I guess you can come inside. Mama did take those sleeping pills…” She mumbled the last bit, still I caught it. “Go to the door.”

 

I did as told, nearly tripping over my own feet at just the idea of spending time with her, at the idea of kissing her, at the idea of more.

 

“Shhh…” She put her index finger up to her mouth like they taught us in Kindergarten and held the door until I was inside, and then carefully shut it back.

 

“So, what do you want to do Ms. Evans?” I looked her up and down, flirting mercilessly.

 

She blushed and rolled her eyes. “Why on earth did I let you in?”

 

“Um, because I’m cute?” I winked, walking closer to her, slipping my arms around her waist.

 

“Hardly. I think it’s because…” She looked to the ceiling and then back to me, our eyes locking. “I pity you.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah, I do. I mean here you are,” she moved her arms around my neck and moved in closer, “so turned on by me, and I well, I’m not sure I feel the same…physical connection.” Skillfully, she batted her eye lashes.

 

With a smile, I backed her against the wall, grinding into her, as I pinned her arms above her head in one swift, careful, quiet movement. I kept one hand free, roaming between her shorts and cami, tracing the top of her hip bone, igniting our skin. I felt her hot shallow breaths on my neck and face. “Are you sure you can’t feel it?” I drifted my lips over hers, waiting. She took them and I knew I had her.

She tasted like Christmas morning, winning the lottery, and hitting a grand slam all at once. Her lips tactfully tugged on my bottom lip, while her arms snaked around my neck and pulled me closer. I moved my lips from hers and grazed them gently down the side of her chin. I nipped at her neck while she threw her head back, allowing me to love her skin. I felt her chest rise and fall against mine, our breathing loud and reflexive.

 

“Take…take me.” She whispered, in between nips at my right ear.

 

I pulled back and looked into her burning amber eyes. “What?”

 

Melting into my eyes she answered, “Take me somewhere. We can’t do this here.”

 

I agreed with her. It would be completely mortifying if Leslie were to see us together, furthermore I wanted this to be special…I hoped she was thinking what I was. A part of me wondered. Did she really mean what I thought she meant or did she—“Okay.” I replied despite my uncertainty.

 

I took her hand and we quietly walked to the door. As we stepped on the concrete, I noticed her wrap her arms around her body.

 

“You cold?” I laughed at the innocence on her face, as she huddled over with her long golden hair covering half of her face. Wrapping my arms around her, I noticed her bare feet, hot pink toe nails and all. “Oh.” I scooped her up in my arms, while she hardly protested, just slipped her arms around my neck and moved in closer, her head on my shoulder. I loved the feel of her smooth bare legs against my fingers.

 

“Thank you.” She half giggled. “Where are you taking me?”

 

“Anywhere you want.” I said as I made it to my black Tiburon.

 

When I sat her down, to open the passenger seat door, I noticed her silence, compounded by the uncertain look in her eyes as she looked back at the house.

 

“What’s wrong baby?” My right hand held her face, so that I could look into her eyes.

 

“John…I’m sorry.” She looked down at the broken concrete unwilling to meet my gaze.

 

“For what Marlena?” Any other time in my past, I would have been annoyed at a girl for teasing and leaving—which I assumed she was about to do—but not now, not with Marlena. I’d do anything for her, wait any amount of time for her. It was a new concept I was beginning to understand and it reminded me of love. I hoped it was.

 

“I can’t leave her in there. I mean what if something happens. Or what if she wakes up and can’t find me…I’m sorry.” She stood there strong, resilient, and looked me in the eye.

 

I nodded. I didn’t think it’d be wise for me to speak because of the chance my disappointment would find it’s way into my voice, and I didn’t want her to think I was angry. I wasn’t. Pulling her into my arms, I kissed her forehead. “Marlena, I care about you, and I hope you know how much I respect you…and I want our first time to be special. Whenever you’re ready. Okay?”

 

I felt her head nod against my chest. “Thank you.” Her lips softly touched my cheek; she was cute on her tiptoes. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” She said as more of a question than a statement.

 

“Definitely.” I bent down, my hand under her chin, to give her a quick peck. It’s all I could manage without devouring her.

 

“Goodnight.” Marlena headed toward the house with a smile.

 

I waited for her to make it inside before I pulled out of the drive. She had to want me as much as I wanted her, otherwise I was doomed.

 

***

 

 

Pounding. My head felt like it was about to explode, as I opened weary eyes to see blinking red lights that conveyed their urgent message—it was noon. I hadn’t slept much that night; instead I suffered from what I was beginning to call Mar-somnia. Every night when I closed my eyes, she was all I could think about it. Every morning when I opened them, however groggy my eyes may have been, I could see her clear as day, in a deep place I had yet to discover.

 

Slowly, I moved my legs off my bed and slid the black satin sheets away from me. She hadn’t come back. It had all been a dream, yet another dream. I laughed at myself and moved towards the bathroom to get ready for another day.

 

Fifteen minutes later, I was lying on the couch watching Scooby Doo. That’s when I heard a knock on my door. I jumped off the couch and ran over to it, stopped in my tracks before touching the knob—prayed that it was Marlena, then opened it.

 

“Hey John.” She said with a smile, her long hair up in a ponytail.

 

“Hi.” Calm and cool, I had to repeat to myself.

 

“Can I…” She looked around the apartment.

 

“Of course.” I smiled, moving out of her way so she could come inside. She was wearing a pink sundress; quite the change from her usual jeans.

 

“Scooby Doo!” Erupting into giggles, she turned back to me.

 

“Hey! What’s wrong with Scooby?” I questioned moving towards her.

 

“Nothing…nothing. I just don’t know that many grown men who still watch cartoons that’s all.” With a smirk, she sat on the couch, and I followed sitting beside her.

 

“Well, maybe those grown men got to be kids.” I didn’t mean for it to sound so grim, but once I’d said it the smile fell from her face.

 

She took my hand, holding it lightly. “So, you never watched it?”

 

“The opposite actually. It was the only cartoon that all of my foster parents let me watch. It never came on during their shows, and some of the nice ones even liked it. I guess it’s soothing. I don’t know.” I looked down at my dark blue Nike shorts, and traced the Nike symbol with my eyes.

 

I could feel her hazel eyes on me, yet somewhere else all at once. It made me look up at her. Abruptly, she moved her head back to the television. “I’m sorry about last night.”

 

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” I squeezed her hand and smiled reassuringly.

 

“Are you busy tonight?” Her words erupted as her cheeks began to turn pink. “I know you work…” She looked around the room, everywhere but at me. “With all the mysterious work you do or whatever, but I just thought maybe you would like to join me…”

 

I smiled and enjoyed seeing her nervous. It was adorable. “I have the night off. What do you have in mind?”

 

“I don’t know. What are you interested in doing?” She crossed her arms, and I had to fight the urge to look at the cleavage produced by her halter top.

 

“How about we spend the evening here?” I swallowed and watched a ghost of a smile cross her lips.

 

“I like it. What time do you want me to come over?”

 

I submerged my soul in her eyes. “Now.”

 

She laughed, “Now?”

 

“Yeah, why don’t you stay? I mean we can…find something to do. You can watch Scooby with me.” I grinned hoping to persuade her.

 

“Ok.” She smiled back at me, and snuggled against the couch. I put my arm around her, and watched her breathing quicken at my movement.

 

I don’t remember anything that happened that episode. All I remember is my arm around her, and me trying to figure out if it would be wrong for me to kiss her. It wasn’t until she got up to get something to eat that I realized; I had to make a move.

 

“You got any food around here?” She looked in my top cabinets on her tiptoes. I loved it when she stood on her tiptoes. I’d never noticed so many things about a woman until I met Marlena. Everything she did was new, special, and seductive.

 

“I’ve got food. Chips, Oreos…you’re looking in the snacks right now.” I walked over to her as she turned to face me.

 

“No. I mean food that doesn’t involve a heart attack or diabetes.”

 

“Since when did you become a health nut?” I questioned her raising an eyebrow.

 

“Since I decided to make one day a health day—eat healthy foods all day.” She tried to explain; I must have had a blank look on my face because she seemed to give up.

 

“Okay. Well, believe it or not baby, I’ve got some fruit.” I opened the fridge, catching her smile. It was then I noticed how her eyes lit up when I called her ‘baby’.

 

“That’s my guy.” She ran her hand over my back, making me loose all concentration. “What kind?”

 

“Strawberries.” I pulled the carton out.

 

A smile ran across her face. “John, that’s my favorite.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Mine too.” Awkward silence ensued, neither of us brave enough to speak.

 

We washed them and when we finished; I put my fingers under the faucet and threw the water at her. She screamed and threw her hands up, making me laugh.

 

“Oh you think it’s funny?” She got that look, the one she had the first night I met her—when she called me ‘Sexy’.

 

I didn’t reply just laughed until I saw her open the fridge again. “What are you looking for?”

 

“You wanted to play dirty, Johnny.” She’d never called me that before and as much as I’d hated it when others called me that, it sounded nice coming from her. I think I just liked hearing her talk about me period. She took a clean strawberry and dipped it into the bowl of Cool-Whip she retrieved from the fridge.

 

Tactfully, she moved it around her lips, biting into it in such a way that I envied the berry. I had to swallow; it was getting hot. She brought the other half to me, wrapped her arms around my neck—somehow mine snaked around her waist. Teasingly, she placed it before my lips, touched it to my lips, and then popped it into her mouth.

 

“No way! You are just evil. An evil minx that’s what you are.” She laughed hysterically, obviously at the ways my eyes blew up. I tickled her sides as she brought her arms down to try and stop me.

 

“Stop! Oh…I…” She gasped between giggles as I backed her to the fridge.

 

“You what? Are you trying to say sorry?” I stopped, keeping my arms on her waist.

 

“No.” She ran to my right, attempting to go around me, but I caught her from the back and twirled her around, both of us laughing.

 

“Are you sorry yet?” I asked my breath against her ear.

 

“Sure.”

 

“Sure?” I turned her toward me.

 

She grabbed another strawberry and dipped in the whipped cream.

 

I took it from her. “Do you want it?”

 

She nodded, her eyes darkening.

 

I slowly bit into it. “Then come and get…”

 

I didn’t even finish before her lips were on mine, sucking my lips, her tongue delving into my mouth in search of the fruit. I fought against her, our tongues clashing, as I savored her lips—she moaned, driving me wild. We stopped for air.

 

I gave her the rest of the berry, swirling it on her lips, before I let her take it in her mouth. She pulled me closer to her, one hand behind my head, the other on my back. I held on to her waist. I licked her lower lip before nipping at it with my teeth.

 

She fought me, tugging on my upper lip while her tongue gained access to my mouth. All of my senses were on high; I couldn’t think about anything. I just loved. Her lips traveled from my mouth to my neck, while my hands drifted up her waist, coming around to the front of her dress. She stopped when I touched her chest. I went for her neck, sucking and nipping, as I heard her gasp for air. It was then I backed away.

 

We locked our eyes, and I could see the need. She wanted me just as much as I wanted her. “John…” She breathed. “Make love to me.”

 

I swallowed, butterflies and all. Simply nodding, I picked her up, my hands sliding under her bare legs, I kissed her slower than before with my eyes searching for the path to my bedroom.

 

I laid her down on the bed, she pulled me to her. Her hands traveling up my shorts tugging at my t-shirt—I pulled away from her; she helped me take it off. I couldn’t believe this was happening; it was the greatest dream of all. She was the greatest dream of all. Her hands traveled my newly exposed torso and chest as her lips fought to come to mine. I could feel her nails across my abs; I loved it.

 

She stopped after our lips met, and reached behind her with both hands to take her hair down. It was then I let my hands travel to her side, travel up to the sides of her chest, grazing where she was the most sensitive while my lips found her neck and shoulder. As much as I’d loved it earlier, the halter top was beginning to annoy me. She gasped and I eased up my movements a bit. I couldn’t wait to get my hands in her long blonde hair.

 

She got it down, and I backed away. It was beautiful even after being up half the day. My left hand went behind her neck, as I ran my hands into it while we kissed. I backed away when she pushed me off of her, and turned around, moving her hair out of the way of the clasp at the top of the halter. She must have read my mind.

 

I unhooked it then kissed her newly exposed shoulder, while my right hand unzipped the back of the dress. She lay down on her back and allowed me to pull it off of her, her legs slowly moving it off aiding me in the process. I kissed her knees. I liked her pink underwear; a strapless bra and a small pair of lacy pink panties.

 

I drank in her. I’d been drunk but this was something else entirely. “You’re so beautiful Baby.” She smiled, pulling my shorts down until I was left in a pair of dark blue boxers.

 

“You’re pretty gorgeous yourself Sexy.” She pulled me to her. I let most of my weight come down on her, careful not to hurt her.

 

It was then, looking down at her. I realized what it was that I felt. “I love you Marlena.”

 

Her eyes darkened as she melted into mine. “I love you.” I understood then that I was no longer mine—I was hers, forever.

 

She pulled me to her, our lips touching. One arm went to her arms, as I held them above her head, my other hand danced along her side with one intention, to drive her crazy. We weren’t going to have sex. We were going to make love.

I could still hear her calling my name, it reverberated in my ears—the most erotic feeling in the world. I’d never forget that, the feeling of me in her. It was more than physical; it was something so much stronger, a kinship of souls. She lay with me in my bed, her head on my chest, her arms on me, and my arms around her. I kissed her head and broke the silence. “Amazing.”

 

She giggled, and hid her face beneath blonde locks. “You can say that again.”

 

I laughed with her and pulled her closer, if that was even possible. “So, you don’t regret anything?” I knew the answer before I asked.

 

“Are you serious?” Her voice tickled my skin. “The only regret I have is that we waited this long to…experience our love.”

 

“But the waiting is half the fun.” She pulled away a bit, enough to look up at me with a smile.

 

“I love you.” She kissed my cheek, her left hand on my face.

 

“I love you.” I took her hand in mine and laced our fingers, just as they had been when I learned what the word synergy truly meant. “You hungry, Baby?”

 

“Hmm…” She looked at the ceiling then back at me with that dazzling smile, “Yeah.”

 

“Yeah?” I slipped my hand beneath the black satin sheets and ran it across her stomach.

 

“You can’t tell me you aren’t?” She sat up, holding the sheet to her chest. “It’s nearly four.”

 

I tapped my index finger on her nose, “Are you complaining?”

 

“No.” She laughed. “But I’m starving.”

 

“Okay. Okay. I can take a hint. And I’m starving too.” I sat up on my elbows, and lunged for her lips. She met me with a smile, taking my bottom lip between hers; it was slow but quick. Both of us knew if we did anymore we’d go for round three.

 

“Go!” She pushed me back, while both of us laughed.

 

I slipped on my boxers. “What do you want?”

 

“A cheeseburger.” She sat up losing the sheet for a moment before she pinned it between her chest and her legs which she’d pulled to her.

 

I stopped in the door way amused with a raised brow. “I thought today was ‘Health Food Day’.”

 

She bit her lower lip and looked me over. “The exercise will cover it.” I felt my cheeks turn pink.

 

“What my girl wants, my girl gets.” I turned and headed for the kitchen.

 

When I came back, freshly made cheeseburgers in hand, I found Marlena laying on my bed wearing one of my blue button up dress shirts, her feet up in the air, head propped in her hands watching television.

 

“I didn’t know what you liked, but ketchup is always a safe bet. What’cha watchin’?” I sat the plate down in between us on the bed.

 

“Thanks honey.” She leaned over and kissed my lips quick, then sat up crossing her legs Indian-style and took a burger. “Dallas on SoapNet.”

 

“What?” I forgot my first question as I watched her take a bite. She savored it, and I smiled because she liked it.

 

“Dallas. You asked what I was watching?” She looked from the T.V. back to me.

 

I simply shrugged and took a bite of my burger. She stopped eating and looked at me in shock.

 

“You’ve never seen it? Who shot J.R.? You’ve never heard of it?!”

 

I laughed at her response; she acted as if I’d never seen the sun. “I’ve seen it once or twice.”

 

“Foster mom?”

 

“Yep.” I took another bite.

 

“You don’t like it?” She got up from the bed.

 

“No, I liked it. I hated that Vanessa woman though.” I watched her walk out of the bedroom, loving the fact that my shirt barely covered her backside leaving an excellent view of her slender legs. “Hey, where are you going?”

 

“Hang on.” I heard her call; when I heard the fridge open I knew what she was after.

 

She came back in caring two Cokes. “I’m sorry. I completely forgot.”

 

She laughed. “Well, it’s only right that I help out with…lunch or supper, whatever this is, since I can’t cook the food. The least I can do is provide the drinks.”

 

I laughed and took one of them as she sat back down. “Who’s on?”

 

“Wait a second. You said you only watched it a couple of times and yet you know who Vanessa is.” With a smirk, she took a sip of her Coke, remembering what I had said before she went to get the drinks.

 

“So, I liked it a lot.” I turned from her to the television to catch J.R. and Cally’s heart to heart in her apartment. “You watched it?”

 

“Yeah, I loved it. Of course, I missed most of the early stuff because well, I wasn’t born yet. But my mom loved it so much she had it dubbed for us, and so when…” She stopped abruptly and once again I knew she was thinking about whatever it was that had changed her.

 

Remembering the portrait in her house, I tried to get her to open up. “I liked it because of all the fights. Why’d you like it?”

 

“They’re people with problems…money…their lives are far from perfect, if anything their lives are worse than—mine.” She sat her drink down and turned to me. “John, I’ve known you for weeks and you have yet to ask where my father is, why haven’t you asked?” Her eyes locked with mine.

 

I reached up to touch her cheek. “Sweetheart, I love you. And I haven’t asked because you haven’t been ready to tell me. You know you and I aren’t that different.” Her eyes darted away from mine. “I know what it’s like to have a messed up past.”

 

“It’s not the same.” She looked back at me. “You didn’t know your parents, and I know that is a wound all of it’s own, but…I knew my dad. I loved my father, John. And he’s not here.” Her eyes began to glisten with unshed tears. The more she talked the more she looked like the innocent child in the portrait. “You really don’t know who he is?”

 

“No, I don’t know him.” I tucked a stray piece of blonde behind her ear.

 

“He died when I was twelve. We were close.” She smiled wistful, “Everyday he’d spend at least an hour with me. Even if he was away with work, he’d call and talk for an hour.” A tear fell and she wiped it away before I could. “My father was Travis Evans, Hollywood producer. I grew up in Beverly Hills, went to a private school. Did all the things that rich kids do.” She smiled wryly. “It’s kinda funny isn’t it. Me a rich girl? Of course, none of it matters now.”

 

“Go on.” I took her hand in mine, kissing it.

 

“Mama and daddy threw the biggest parties, everyone came. I mean all the ‘A’ list stars.” Sadness covered her words as she gripped my hand a little tighter. “If they saw me now they probably wouldn’t even remember me. That’s how the business is. I can’t really blame them.”

 

“They couldn’t forget you, Baby.” I meant it even if it sounded terribly clichéd.

 

A ghost of a smile ran across her lips, “Not everyone thinks that way. They certainly didn’t come to help my Mama and me when Daddy died. He spent it all.” She stopped, looking down at our hands.

 

Instinctively, I pulled her closer to me, kissed her forehead. “It’s okay.”

 

“Nothing but debts. Mama sold all of the property except for the building where The Dark Phoenix is and the house we live in now.” She took a deep breath and shook off her tears. “Anyway, I went back to public school and Mama worked at this diner, Bill’s Diner, it wasn’t far from our house. We got by, barely, but we did it. And everything was starting to get better.”

 

I couldn’t say anything, just listened. It hurt me to hear this. It hurt me because she hurt. It was then I swore never to let anything hurt her again.

 

“Then the summer I turned eighteen, my mom was driving home from the grocery store, and it was raining. She lost control of the car.” She let go of my hand. “She ended up paralyzed. The disability checks helped, but I had to do something to keep us from losing the only things we had left—that property and our dignity. So, I opened the Dark Phoenix and recruited Zeno to help.”

 

“I’m glad you told me Marlena.” I pulled her into my arms. “I know life’s been tough on you, but…it’s still good. Ya know? It’s not all bad.”

 

She held me closer, and looked back at the T.V. as James and Clayton argued. “Hold me and never let me go.”

 

“Never.” I kissed the top of her head. It was then I felt it in my gut that I should tell her exactly what I spent my nights doing. It was only right after she had opened up about her life.

 

I started to speak but stopped when she spoke. “One day, I’m gonna leave California. And I’m going to go toDallas.”

 

“Can I come?” Innocence flowed from my words. I sounded like a boy not a man.

 

“Of course.” She kissed my neck.

 

“And we’ll stay at the Fairview.” I kissed the top of her head and ran a hand over her hair.

 

“You promise?” She looked up at me with those heavenly hazel eyes.

 

“I promise.” I leaned down tipping her chin up so I could catch her lips in mine. Slow at first, then gradually our movements reached a fervent pace. She pushed me down on the bed, and climbed on top me, straddling my hips, while I unbuttoned the shirt she wore. My fingers fumbled as her hands came into contact with mine to help me. It was then my phone started ringing.

 

“Duty calls.” She stopped.

 

“You’ve got to be kidding.” I groaned as she reached for the phone on my night stand, and handed it to me. “Hello.” Marlena, got out of bed and walked into the living room.

 

“Black, get down here right now. I’m not jokin’ around. This is real important!” Turbo demanded.

 

“Okay! Okay! I’m on my way.” I hung up the phone and sat up, my hands running through my hair in frustration. I got off the bed and grabbed some jeans and a simple grey tee. “Marlena.”

 

“Yeah.” I met her near the couch.

 

“I’ve got to go. Work stuff.” I smiled reassuringly.

 

“Okay.” She tried to mask her disappointment with a grin.

 

“You can stick around if you want.”

 

“No, I really need to head back to the bar and help Zeno out. But I think I will use your shower.”

 

I nodded and we stood there for a moment. “I’ll come by the bar tonight. K?”

 

“Bye John.” She kissed my cheek and headed for the bedroom.

 

“Marlena.” I stopped in the doorway.

 

“Yeah.” She looked back.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you more.” She smiled, really smiled for the first time since Turbo called.

 

I walked out into the hall of the apartment complex—knowing that I loved her most.

 

***

 

 

I walked into Red Cove, the black walls looked darker than ever. The place was eerily quite and worn, from the splintered bar top to the blood stained cage. My heart pumped faster. “Turbo?”

 

I watched relieved as the older man came from the back room. “John! It’s ‘bout time ya got here! You seemedengaged when I called.” He raised a dark brow, his brown eyes gleaming.

 

My cheeks turned red almost instantly; my eyes finding the floor easier to face than Turbo’s smirky grin. “Yeah, well.”

 

“I’m sorry I interrupted yo’ afternoon delight.” His words ran like chocolate our of his dark lips. “But I just got a call from one of Diver’s boys wantin’ to know where you’ve been today. Fain’s dead. Murdered. Diver seems to think it was you.”

 

I ran a hand through my hair. This had to be a joke. I closed my eyes willing it to be a dream, willing Marlena to still be lying in my arms beneath those silky sheets. Instead, when I opened them I found Turbo. “Well, it wasn’t me. I was at home all day. Did he threaten…”

 

“No. I told him ya spent the day in your apartment. It was a guess.” He smiled, his short salt and pepper hair catching the dim light.

 

“Good guess.” I nodded. “Who did kill her?” She was no more than twenty, had hurt no one, her only fault that she was Diver’s weakness.

 

“I have no idea.” His eyes crinkled at the sides. “I’m getting too old for this Black.”

 

“You want me to watch over your house tonight. Watch over you and the girls?” Turbo wasn’t cut out for this business, never had been.

 

“No, that’s alright. His boy just hung up. None of that ‘Diver’s gonna get’cha’ nonsense.” I decided to believe him, ignoring the fear in his reply. “Just stay on your toes, k?”

 

“Ya got it.” I rested my hand on the bar top.

 

“So, how are things with Marlena?” He held his cheeky grin in check.

 

“She’s wonderful.” I caught myself grinning like a schoolboy and cleared my throat.

 

“Have you told her?” He knew the answer; I don’t know why he asked.

 

“No. I tried, but she…well she interrupted me.” I looked away from him, having seen the stern father face before—I didn’t want to see it now. I felt guilty enough as it was.

 

“Mmhmm.” He nodded.

 

“I’m going to tell her!”

 

He laughed at my outburst and ruffled my hair. “Go home. Get cleaned up and go see her. I’m cancelling the fights tonight after all that’s happened.”

 

A smile crept across my face at his easy mood. “See you tomorrow.”

 

“Yep. See ya.” He gave me one of our quick ‘man hugs’ and slipped to the back room.

 

I walked to the door, taking a good look at Red Cove and all it represented. Something about it seemed antique, almost glassy, like an old forgotten dusty figurine. I closed the door behind me, noticing that the door knob felt colder than usual.

Diver was laying low, mourning it seemed. However, my gut told me he was plotting revenge for whoever was responsible. I hadn’t gone in the cage since, despite my growing need to break someone and rid myself of the fear.

 

Marlena and I had spent only brief moments alone together. She was busy with the bar and I was helping Turbo with contracts. I wanted to do something for her to make up for the lack of romance as of late. After ten minutes of contemplating, I came up with the perfect person to help with my surprise.

 

I knocked on the pale door, a school boy nervousness taking hold as I waited. As the door opened, my eyes found Marlena’s nose with emerald eyes to accompany. “Hi, Leslie. I hope I didn’t….”

 

“John!” She smiled broadly, taking my hand and pulling me inside insistently. “Marlena isn’t here, but I just finished baking brownies.”

 

I inhaled the intoxicating scent of fresh chocolate and eagerly followed her into the kitchen. “Thanks Leslie. I was…uh…actually coming by to talk to you.”

 

She turned to face me, sitting the plate of choco-liciousness in her lap. “Uh oh. Don’t tell me you messed up.” She grimaced leading the way into the living room.  

 

“No! No, nothing like that. I just wanted to do something special for Marlena. And I thought I’d ask you if you have any ideas.” We sat on the cream couch, and both took a brownie.

 

“Oh, how sweet!” She swooned. “Travis used to do little scavenger hunts when the kids were not at home…” She giggled, and I felt kind of dirty seeing the dark look in her eyes.

 

Awkwardly, I looked around the room, only to find the gigantic family portrait staring back at me. I tried to concentrate on finishing my brownie.

 

“Anyway, you should know that Marlena hates surprises.” She pulled my attention back from the portrait.

 

“Everyone says that.” I smiled. “Doesn’t mean they actually mean it.”

 

“Have you gone to the beach yet?” She popped the last of her brownie in her mouth.

 

I could feel the sand already. “No. That’s a great idea!”

 

“Wait…” Her hand went up like a stop sign. “When were you planning to surprise her?”

 

“Tomorrow night.” I searched her gaze for some sort of reassurance that my plans were not made in vain.

 

“It’s supposed to rain.” She stated with a rueful grin. “Let’s see, there are plenty of other things you could do…”

 

I noticed the newspaper sitting on the coffee table. There in medium sized letters, in a mediocre article, was the answer. “You all lived in Beverly Hills right?”

 

“Yeah.” She studied my eyes.

 

“I think I’ve found the perfect surprise.” With a grin, I pointed to the article.

 

***

 

It was a quarter till nine. I took another sip of beer and waited for Marlena to finish locking the place up. After ten minutes of persuading, I’d finally convinced her to close and come along with me.

 

“Okay.” She came from the back room. “I’m ready. Just got to lock the front as we leave.”

 

I tossed my bottle into the trash and grabbed my suit jacket. “Great.” With a smile, I leaned in for a kiss.

 

When our lips were mere centimeters from touching, she walked towards the door, giggling. “You still haven’t told me where we’re going.”

 

“Oh, so you are going to bribe me until I tell you?” I followed her to the door, an eyebrow raised at her antics.

 

Carefully, she let her index finger run down my chest. “I’m willing to use whatever means necessary.” I stood speechless, completely entranced, while with a sly grin, she pushed me out the door and locked it behind us.

 

***

 

“John! Come on…” She began harsh and ended in nervous laughter. “Where are you taking me?”

 

“It’s a surprise. You’ll know in just a…couple….minutes.” I pulled into the drive and stopped at the tall black gate.

 

“We stopped. Where’d we stop?” She turned her head toward me, and I resisted the urge to laugh at the cuteness of her blindfolded.

 

I grabbed the backpack I’d filled with supplies. “Wait right there.” I kissed her forehead, and came around to the other side to open her door.  

 

She stuck her hand out for me, and I took it. “Can I take the blindfold off now?”

 

“Hmm…let me think about it.” I teased while she slapped me in the arm.

 

“You are so mean! Come on. I want to see those gorgeous blues of yours.” Her lips curved into a brilliant smile, one I could never refuse.

 

“Well, when you put it that way.” I slowly lifted it off of her head, and smoothed down her hair.

 

She leaned up on her tiptoes. Our lips met slowly, gently, sweetly. Then almost abruptly she turned to look at the place. “John?”

 

I took her hand in mine and started toward the gate. “I’ll explain as soon as we get inside.” Stopping at the lock, I pulled out a small pin, the golden metal reflecting the light from the street lamps. “Here you go.” I held one side open for her and closed back as she made her way in.

 

“This is crazy.” Her eyes danced from the cement drive to the flower gardens on each side of it. Pink Hibiscus trees strategically placed up and down the sides. “I don’t…why’d you bring me here?” She looked up at the mansion-sized house, with its villa-like quality it was typically West Coast. I really hoped this wouldn’t blow up in my face.

 

We started up the stairs, the black iron railing matching the gate. “I brought you here because this is where you grew up, maybe not in this house exactly, but here.” In front of the door, I took her hands in mine. There was no sadness in her eyes, fear, or even anger. Still, I saw tears forming in her eyes. “I thought you might like to come back. And remember how you felt before.”

 

“Thank you, John.” She nodded, her eyes glued to mine. Tenderly, I wiped away her tears with my thumbs.

 

“No, Marlena.” I shook my head. “Thank you, for loving me.”

 

“I don’t think I had much of a choice.” She smiled as her tears eased.

 

I tapped my finger on her nose and pulled the pin out of my backpack. “Let’s hope this works…”

 

“What about the people that live here?” I handed her a flashlight.

 

The lock popped and I pushed it open. “Actually, it’s unoccupied. I saw an ad for it in the paper.”

 

I watched her walk in, she seemed to flow into the walls—everything about her belonged in the hard wood floor and crystal chandelier. Her black strapless dress danced just below her knee to the rhythm of circulating air. I was glad Leslie told her to bring it with her to work. “You’re beautiful.”

 

With a grin, she turned around. “I’m glad you noticed.”

 

“So, what do you think about this place?” I shut the door behind me, and pulled another flashlight out of my backpack before leaving it on the floor.

 

The empty walls welcomed us, contrary to the darkness. It should have seemed spooky, a dark empty house lit only by the flashlights we carried, but it was nothing of the sort—it was soft and romantic. “I think it’s nice.” She climbed up two stairs on the maroon carpeted staircase, looking up to the second floor. Her light moved over an empty bookshelf, a giant window pane, and the opening for a hallway.

 

“Nice?” I moved towards her, needing to touch her.

 

“Okay.” She whipped around, all smiles. “It’s gorgeous!”

 

“Just wait until you see the backyard.” I grabbed her hand, our fingers laced as we hurried out the back patio doors.

 

“A pool! I haven’t been swimming in forever!” With a grin, she surveyed the elliptical shaped pool. There were four iron chairs and a table sitting to the right of it, accompained by all types of beautiful foliage. I was the most grateful for the tiki-like lamps that obviously stored solar power during the day and thus lit the night.

 

“I thought you would like it.” Coming behind her, I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her shoulders.

 

“I love it, but there is one problem…” She turned in my embrace.

 

“And what would that be.” I had seen that look in her eyes before.

 

“You and I are terribly overdressed.” With a grin, she slipped off my black suit jacket.

 

As soon as she pulled my white dress shirt out of my pants, rain drops filled the air. “I was hoping that would hold off until morning.”

 

The drops grew in size; though it seemed like an innocent rainstorm, there was no lightning and only a distant murmur of thunder. She took my hand, running under the patio to hide from the cool shower. “Unfortunately, I think it’s only going to get harder.”

 

I took a long look at her—face lit softly by the glow of gentle light, golden hair with drops of crystal, hazel eyes I could die for, skin I yearn to touch. My right hand went behind her head, as I pulled her to me, our lips crashing together. Our tongues tugged and touched in a meticulous waltz of possession. Finally, I broke it. “Dance with me.”

 

She laughed as I pulled her into the soaking rain. “Dancing in the rain. This is what movies are made of.”

 

I pulled her to me, holding her hand to my chest. “I love you.”

 

She snuggled closer to my chest, not carrying that the rain was covering us. “I love you.”

 

I would have sworn that the rain stopped in mid-fall as we swayed around the open patio. I was becoming a mushy romantic, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything but her. My breathing melded with hers, and we stole a piece of time.

 

After a long moment of blissful silence, she looked up into my eyes. “John?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Can you swim?”

 

She hid the sly smile behind her eyes, but the more time I spent with her the better I became at reading her. I was not about to fall into this trap. “Can you?”

 

If only for a fleeting second, she was nervous and knew I knew what she was thinking. As I thought about throwing her in, she made up my mind for me. I didn’t have time to do anything but fly through the air when she pushed me into the pool. She smirked, when I came up for air. “I thought you could.”

 

“Oh you did, did you? Well, why don’t you join me? It’s awfully lonely in here.” I stripped the wet shirt from my body and tossed it up to her, throwing my shoes and pants up as soon as I could get the drenched articles off.

 

Throwing her head back, she laughed. “If I had of known you were going to do a sexy striptease, I would have let you stay on land so I could see it.”

 

“Let’s see it?” I grinned.

 

Marlena stopped laughing, putting both hands on her hips. “See what?”

 

“A sexy striptease on land.” I winked.

 

With a smirk, she unzipped the back of her dress and let it fall. “I know you like black.”

 

No, she was wrong. I thought I liked black, until that moment when I saw her in black underwear. That’s when I realized I loved it. “You’re a goddess.”

 

“Catch me.” She jumped in. I caught her waist, keeping everything but her legs out of the water. Her legs wrapped around my waist as I slowly eased her into the pool. It was warm; we were already doused with the ever falling rain.

 

My lips hovered over hers before claming them. The way her hips felt on mine was driving me to the brink of insanity. The rain only sweetened her lips and made me want even more of them. I’d never get enough, nor would I ever stop wanting her. Marlena was made for me, just as I was made for her. When the rain started to fall to our rhythm, I was certain that the universe approved.

Our flashlights were standing around us, giving just enough light to the room. After our swim, we’d hung our clothes over the iron chairs beneath the porch and wrapped up in the navy blanket I brought. It was a dark heaven.

 

“You know, most people would call this illegal.” She lay against my chest; her arms folded—chin resting on them.

 

A minx. Her wavy drying hair hid her face. Webster was wrong in his definition of beauty; it should have said her name. “Are you afraid of getting caught?”

 

I sat up on my elbows, while she pulled the blanket to her chest and sat up. “No. I’m not worried at all. You would never let that happen.”

 

“You trust me that much?” I reached out to caress her face with one of my hands.

 

With a smile, she poked me in the chest. “I trust you, but I also know that you like living. And I’d kill you if we got caught.”

 

I laughed, and sat up, placing one hand behind her neck. “I love you.” I kissed her neck.

 

“Mmmhmm.” She purred, lacing our hands.

 

Stopping my assault on her skin, I locked my eyes with hers. “You’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

 

“I love your eyes.” She barely whispered. “And…” Turning her gaze from mine, she played with our fingers. “I love the way your fingers feel with mine.”

 

“Baby…” She put a finger to my lips, stopping me.

 

“Shhhh…” With a smile, she touched my face. “I love you, John. And I’ve never wanted anyone the way that I want you.”

 

I had to remind my lungs to breathe. I was supposed to be a tough guy, but this woman turned me to jello with just a smile. Taking her hand in mine, I pulled her up with me. We stood together in each others arms, our upper bodies melded together. The navy blanket covering our lower halves, her head rested on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her, one hand on the small of her back, the other below her shoulder blades. “I don’t ever want to let you go.”

 

“Good, because I don’t ever want to be away from you.” She kissed my shoulder.

 

Slowly, I eased her back from me. Together we inched closer, our lips moving as if their meeting was ordained by gravity. Easily they glided together, a gentle claiming of each other before becoming sheer passion. As one we eased onto the floor. Wrapping my arms around my neck, Marlena smiled up at me before coming up for my lips. Eagerly, they searched for hers. When I felt her tongue on them, I pulled back with a smile.

 

“Where do you think you’re going?” She wrapped a leg around my waist and pulled me back down.

 

Hovering above her, I whispered. “To show you ecstasy.”

 

“Oh.” She sighed, releasing me, as my lips traveled from her lips to her neck.

 

Her hands were on the nape of my neck driving me as I reached her collarbone. With a smile, I moved down in between her breasts, my tongue running the path. I could feel her gasp. It only made me want her more. When I reached the middle of her abdomen, I could feel her skin growing hotter, her breathing quickening. It was nothing compared to what it would be when I reached my destination.

 

***

 

I smiled remembering how we were intertwined moments earlier. Unfortunately, we couldn’t lie there forever—especially since the night was passing us by. With sheer determination, I put away my goofy grin, and buttoned up my shirt.

 

A dressed Marlena sat on the floor, rolling her eyes, before a smirk made its way to her face. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to try to help you again.”

 

I sat down beside her. “Are you complaining?”

 

“Never, I love multiple rounds.” She leaned in, nipping my neck.

 

“You know, if you keep that up, eventually all of the time we spent putting on our clothes is going to go to waste…again.”

 

Pulling back, she took my hand. “We really should get going.”

 

“Yep.” I took a quick kiss before we stood up.

 

“Are you hungry?” My arm went around her shoulder as she laced our fingers.

 

“A little.” I grabbed my backpack and opened the door. “You?”

 

“A little.” She kissed my cheek.

 

“So, where would you like to go?” Slipping my arm around her, we headed down the stairs to the black iron gate.

 

“I dunno…there really isn’t that much to choose from. IHOP?”

 

Before I could reply my cell went off. “This must be important.”

 

“Another mysterious call?” She looked away toward the pink blooms.

 

“Hello?” I said more of a question than a greeting since I didn’t recognize the number.

 

“John! It’s Tyra. You have to come to the hospital…the fire…mom told me to call you. She’s just…we’re all so worried…”

 

I stopped the young girl’s panicked explanation. “Slow down, Tyra. What fire? Are your parents alright?”

 

“There was a fire at Red Cove. And Dad was there. They’re takin’ him to the hospital. Mom is drivin’ and Lisa is with us. We’re headed there now…we’re just really worried about Dad.” Her voice began to quiver and I could hear her start to cry.

 

“I’m on my way.” I hung up the phone and took Marlena’s hand. I couldn’t lose Turbo. He was my guidance in this mixed up world and without him—he had to be alright.

 

“What’s going on?” She searched my eyes.

 

“My boss needs me.” I walked to the car, hoping to avoid all questions.

 

“John, don’t lie to me! I’m not stupid. Something is wrong.” I opened her door as she flashed fire at me.

 

Running a hand through my hair, I looked down at her, hoping I wasn’t about to lose her. “Maybe I should just take you home.”

 

I went around and got in, only to find her staring at me in disbelief. “No. I’m staying with you. I’m staying because you are scared. I’ve never seen you scared.” She looked out the window and back to me. “Now, stop wasting time. And go!”

 

Nodding, I backed out of the drive and headed toward the hospital. To ease my nerves, I started explaining. “It’s my boss, Turbo Jackson. There was a fire where I work and he was there…we don’t know how badly he’s hurt.”

 

She took my hand in hers, squeezing it tightly. “I’m sorry.”

 

***

 

Marlena and I walked into the emergency room, immediately seeing the girls in the lobby with Sierra.

 

“John!” Tyra and Lisa jumped up and ran to give me a hug as I let go of Marlena’s hand.

 

“You look more grown-up everytime I see you two.” I pulled the two teenagers closer.

 

“Marlena…” Sierra drew Marlena’s attention away from me. “I’ve heard so much about you. But even John couldn’t describe how beautiful you are.”

 

Marlena blushed slightly and took Sierra’s hand in hers to shake. “Thank you…”

 

Sierra picked up the long pause that hung in the air like a the question it was meant to be. “Sierra. I’m Turbo’s wife.”

 

I decided it was in my best interest to interrupt them. Letting the girls out of my embrace, I looked over to Marlena and Sierra. “And these two,” pointing to the girls, “are their children. Lisa and Tyra.”

 

“It’s nice to meet you all.” Marlena shook their hands.

 

The girls winked at me with those sly knowing smiles that teased and congratulated all at once. Seeing those brown eyes, their father’s eyes, I let go of distraction and turned to Sierra. “Have you heard anything yet?”

 

“No.” Her words slipped out as her smile faded and she looked down at her hands.

 

Conveniently, a doctor came around the corner and stopped in front of us. “Mrs. Jackson?”

 

“Yeah.” Sierra stood up, searching the thirty-something short curly brown haired man’s grey eyes.

 

“Mrs. Jackson, I’m Dr. Renue. You’re husband was struck by falling debris from the roof of the building. He has a fractured leg and smoke inhalation, but our main concern at the moment is that a large shard of glass is lodged in your husband’s chest near his left lung. He needs immediate surgery; they’re prepping him right now.”

 

Sierra nodded almost absentminded then with a defiant spark she gathered her resolve. “Thank you, doctor.”

 

A nurse rounded the corner carrying a clipboard. “Mrs. Jackson, if you would please sign here. This is a consent form, stating that it’s okay for us to operate on your husband and administer anesthetic.”

 

Sierra signed the forms, while the doctor spoke. “We’ll let you know how he’s doing as soon as we can.”

 

He turned the corner and headed down the hall; the nurse followed him.

Lisa sat with her mother, taking her hand in hers. “Dad’s gonna be alright.”

 

“Lisa’s right mom.” Tyra took her mother’s other hand.

 

Sierra looked up at me. To reassure her, I nodded as Marlena slipped her hand in mine. We sat next to the girls. Silence engulfed us and fear followed it closely—Marlena rested her head on my shoulder as I put my arm around her. Watching the people travel up and down the cream hall, we waited.

 

***

 

I took the girls to the vending machines near the entrance. Their anxiety grew with each passing minute. Even I was getting antsy sitting there. I knew it was a bad idea to leave Sierra and Marlena alone, for fear of what Sierra would tell her about my job. Turbo was right; I should have told her in the beginning.

 

“You want M&M’s?” Lisa looked up at me, her black pony tail swinging.

 

“No, I don’t want anything. You two get what ever you want.”

 

“Well, I want some Lisa.” Tyra spoke up.

 

“Are ya getting’ anything for Marlena?” Lisa bit her bottom lip to keep from grinning. I felt my cheeks grow hot and cursed internally.

 

“Yeah, John.” Tyra grinned anyway.

 

“Get her some of those.” I pointed to the pack of M&M’s Tyra held. “And stop teasing me.”

 

“We can’t help it John.” Lisa handed me the pack.

 

“You’re just soooo cute when ya blush.” Tyra started down the hall with her sister.

 

Following, I came up with a counter. “And you two are so cute when you blush, thinking about Jamal.”

 

They whipped around. “We haven’t liked Jamal, since he went out with that skank Tasha.” Lisa said scorned.

 

“You’d know that too, if you were involved in our lives.” Tyra blurted and quickly tried to take back. “I didn’t mean that. I’m just worried about dad.”

 

I read her face. “No, you did mean it. I guess I haven’t spent that much time with you lately.” Guiltily, I stopped walking.

 

“John, really, it’s okay.” Lisa patted my shoulder.

 

“Ya need to have your own life. She’s good for you.” Tyra put her hand on my other shoulder.

 

They could read me even better than I could them. “You two are like my sisters, you know that right?”

 

“We know that.” They let go of my shoulders and we started walking again.

 

“So do ya love her?” Tyra asked a smile in her words.

 

“Yeah, do ya?” Lisa turned, walking backwards down the hall.

 

“Yes. I love her.” I tried not to do anything to encourage them—no smile, no blushing, no change in the pitch of my voice. It came out monotonous.

 

They both erupted into giggles. “You could sound happy ‘bout it.”

 

It was then I could hear Sierra’s hushed voice traveling down the hall to my ears.

 

“He does it because he loves it. They both do. Turbo loves it because it’s like boxing. But John…it’s different with him.”

 

“How do you do it?” Marlena’s question rang out, confirming what I feared.

 

“This business isn’t easy or safe even. But I understand it. And I know Turbo’s heart is in the right place.”

 

The girls continued to gab back and forth as we turned the corner and found Sierra and Marlena, both looked as if they’d been caught doing something very wrong. I tried not to look guilty, my eyes looking everywhere but at Marlena.

 

“What’d ya get?” Sierra looked up smiling.

 

“M&M’s.” The girls said in unison, making us all laugh.

 

“John got ya some too.” Lisa handed the pack to Marlena.

 

My gaze shifted to her and I watched her take them from Lisa with a smile. “Thanks.”

 

“Don’t thank me.” Lisa spoke up. “Thank John.”

 

“Thank you, John.” Her eyes rested on mine only long enough for me to see the uncertainty and the fear that played across them.

 

I kicked myself mentally again and again. I had messed up and messed up big. She didn’t know what to think about me and at the moment neither did I.

 

Doctor Renue came in the lobby dressed in green scrubs, sending me into another kind of panic. “As long as there are no major complications, your husband should be just fine. We safely removed the glass, and we’ve taken care of his leg.” The nurse followed into the room.

 

“Can we see him?” Sierra beamed.

 

“Yes, but just for a couple of minutes and not all at the same time. He’ll be unconscious, but he should wake up around lunch. Nurse Allen will show you to his room.”

 

“Thank you.” Sierra spoke for us all as he left the room.

 

“He’s in room 109. It’s down the hall and to the right.” The red haired nurse led the way. Sierra was up front, while the girls followed behind her.

 

“Marlena…”

 

She stopped me before I could finish or even really begin. “John, let’s go see him. I know you want to. Anything you have to say can wait.” With that she started down the hall, and I followed after them—thanking God that Turbo was okay, and praying that I hadn’t lost Marlena.

We stood there in silence, the kind of ominous silence that spells out doom and rears its fang toothed head screaming the end of all things wonderful. Marlena leaned against the wall with her arms crossed. I stood next to her and stared at the ceiling as I waited for Sierra and the girls to come out of Turbo’s room. Finally, I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw the bumps that lined Marlena’s bare arm.

 

“Here.” I took off my black suit jacket and started to wrap it around her shoulders.

 

I stopped when she moved away from the wall. “Thanks.” She took it from my hand and put it around herself.

 

Despite the fact she didn’t let me touch her, it gave me hope that she accepted. “Are you still hungry? Because you know…we could go get some…” I looked at my watch. “Breakfast.”

 

I watched her. Her eyes fell to the floor and she shook her head as if disappointed, before bringing her melancholy gaze up to mine. “John, I think it would be best if you just took me home.”

 

I swallowed. This was bad and my ignorant attempt to pretend nothing had changed was just another mistake. Sierra and the girls came out of Turbo’s room ending my pity party. “How does he look?”

 

“A little bruised, but he’s going to be alright.” Sierra smiled relief and peace back on her slightly lined face. “Go on.” She took my arm and pushed me inside.

 

He lay there covered in hospital blankets, an I.V. in his arm. There were bruises on his face and arms. I carefully pulled down the blanket to look at the large bandage that covered the wound from the glass. It angered me to think about how close I had come to losing him. For the first time since Tyra called me, I started thinking about who was responsible for this mess. I started thinking about what I was going to do to them.

 

***

 

We were almost at Marlena’s house, and neither of us had spoken. I was too scared of what would happen, but I new if we were going to get passed this we were going to have to talk about it. I looked over at Marlena, who was looking out the passenger side window, and the guilt hit me again.  

 

“I was going to tell you Marlena.”

 

“What John? What were you going to tell me?” Her words leaked contempt as she looked out the window.

 

“Marlena, I’m a cage fighter. Turbo owns Red Cove and that’s where I fight. Sierra told you all of this. I don’t see how we can get past this if you won’t even talk to me.” I was losing my patience.

 

“Do you know what I thought you did?” She turned to face me, the glisten of fresh tears on her face.

 

“I don’t know.” I tried not to look at her, tried to keep focused on the road. Her pain had become my own and to know I put those tears there was too much to bear.

 

“Zeno told me that you were a fighter. That’s all he told me and that’s all I asked. I thought he meant you were a boxer. And I thought you were just embarrassed or maybe you thought I’d be upset and that’s why you didn’t tell me.”

 

“I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you would never talk to me again. It took me a long time to even get you to look at me.” I watched the street lights.

 

“John, you fight people, nearly kill them for money. I…”

 

“It’s not that different from boxing. And you didn’t have a problem with that.” As soon as it left my lips, I couldn’t believe I’d said it. It was nothing like boxing, and I’d fought Turbo on that very subject countless times before.

 

“Boxing is dangerous, but it’s controlled. What you do, that’s not. It’s deadly. And the people that do that sort of thing…Turbo and his family are good people but what about the others.”

 

“I’m not going to die.” I turned onto another street.

 

She looked out the window again, with a half laugh. “You don’t know that. What about what happened to Turbo?”

 

“I think I know who did it. And you shouldn’t worry about it. Neither should Turbo, I’m going to take care of it, for good.”

 

“What are you talking about?! Can you hear yourself? Just stop! You could go to jail or worse.”

 

“Marlena. If I stop fighting, there won’t be any money. And if I don’t take care of who did this to Turbo, there won’t be a Red Cove to fight in. Do you get that?” I turned to face her with frustration.

 

She glared back at me. “John, I don’t want your filthy money. Got that! I don’t need that kind of help.”

 

I pulled up to her house. “You don’t mean that.” I didn’t know who I was angry with, her for not understanding or me for not telling her in the first place.

 

“Don’t tell me what I do or don’t mean John! Despite what you think, you don’t know me. You haven’t lived my life. Stop pretending you know what it’s like.” She opened her car door.

 

“Marlena, I don’t know what it’s like for you. I don’t. I just wanted to be part of your life, a part that makes you happy.” I watched her get out of the car and turn back to face me.

 

The tears on her face sparkled in the house light. Even now, she was beautiful. “You can’t.”

 

I got out of the car and came around to her side. “I love you.”

 

She looked away from me. Putting my hand on her face, I turned her back. “Don’t.”

 

“I know you love me.” I leaned in, pulling her face towards mine.

 

Our mouths opened mere centimeters away from one another. She opened her pain filled eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry.” Her tears fell harder as she pushed my hands away and backed up. “John, I can’t do this.”

 

“What do you mean?” I knew what she meant and that’s why slow tears started to form in the corners of my eyes.

 

“Us. I can’t do it.” She wiped her tears away.

 

“Baby, it’s okay.” I started toward her.

 

Putting her hands in front of her, she stopped me. “John, I’m sorry. It’s over.”

 

I looked to the cracked concrete. A part of me was shocked, but mostly I hurt. With tear stained eyes, I searched the hazels that had earlier been engrossed in my own. I couldn’t speak.

 

Biting her lower lip, she turned away from me and started toward her house. Numb, I watched her open the ashen door, take one last look at me and walk inside.

 

I stood there like a statue, and looked at the faded yellow house. “Maybe she’s right. Maybe I never knew her at all.” Suddenly feeling cold and alone, I got in my car and left.

 

***

 

The longer I drove the madder I got. My thoughts twisted and gnarled, I tried to discern who was to blame for all of my problems. Besides me, there was one other person who came to mind—Diver London.

 

Standing in front of The X, I pitied the people who loved this black place. The building was made of brick that had been painted charcoal grey; the most vulgar thing of all was the blue neon X that was pinned to the building above the grey wooden door. I had looked upon this place a thousand nights before, but I had never seen it in the light of dawn. It didn’t loom over you in the light; instead it looked broken and hollow. I thought about Marlena then. A new sadness washed over me, and I yearned for the feel of my fist on flesh and bone.

 

I pulled at the door. Seeing it jerk back, I kicked it in breaking the lock. Pieces of the old wooden door flew off from the impact, and my lungs were filled with the rush of air that hit me. The place was dark with the exception of the cage. The roof above it held the only window, lighting the floor below as if in a form of reverence.

 

“What do you want?” I heard a cracked mumble seep out from the bar.

 

Walking towards the sound, I saw two eyes begin to form, only a hint of light in them. I’d have known those eyes anywhere. “You know why I’m here.”

 

He looked back to his bottle of vodka. “Get out.” Taking another drink, he held it to his bearded face.

 

I didn’t register anything but the screams of violence, begging for release. “Why’d you do it?” I took the bottle from him, throwing it across the room.

 

His black eyes followed it, and he winced as he heard the broken shards hit the floor. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Black.”

 

I grabbed his leather jacket in my hands, lifting him from the stool with a manic grin. “C’mon Diver, don’t you want to brag about it?”

 

He pulled at my hands to free himself, but I held on. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

 

With a jerk, I threw him to the floor. “Admit it!”

 

“I admit nothing!” He spat, touching the back of his head to check for blood.  

 

“Get up!” I jerked his arm, sending him to his feet. He stood to his full height on drunken legs, but I did not look up.

 

“What is wrong with you?!” He yelled down at me as if I were one of his henchmen.

 

“You burned down Red Cove.” I answered him, regretting I had done so as soon as it left my mouth.

 

“It burned?” He asked, appearing stunned. “John, you have to believe me…I had nothing to do with it. Is Turbo…”

 

I couldn’t stomach anymore of his charade. With the force of rage, I hammered my fist into his gut, sending him staggering back clutching the spot of impact. Letting a right hook fly, I sent him to the floor, busting the right side of his lip. Every blow felt good, a welcome release. Grabbing his shirt, I pulled him up.

 

“I didn’t do it.” He slurred, a slow trickle of blood flowing out of his mouth with each syllable.

 

I clutched his neck in my hands, and squeezed. I watched his eyes as they filled with fear and regret, continued to squeeze until the skin began to lose its color.

 

“Didn’t…” He gasped out in a whimper.

 

Those evil black eyes had become those of a beaten child—I had owned that look before. Releasing his neck, I stumbled away from him, clumsily landing on the floor. I sat there and watched him gasp for air while he clutched his neck.

 

“Didn’t do it.” He repeated, shaking his head.

 

I stood up from the dirty floor, looked to the lit cage then back to him. “I know.” Turning away, I left him in the darkness, and walked out into the morning sun.

 

***

 

I walked into the room, relief rushing over me as soon as I saw that old familiar face. The bed squeaked as the older man sat up. I smiled relieved and sat down next to the white blanketed hospital bed.

 

“Geez Black! You could have at least took a shower or shaved or somethin’.” Turbo took in my scruffy appearance.

 

I looked down at the wrinkled black suit I had been wearing all night and morning. “Well it’s been a long night.”

 

He nodded. “Yeah. They said anythin’ about what started the fire?”

 

“No.” I shook my head and looked down at my blood spotted hands.

 

“Well, I don’t think it was arson or nothin’. It was quiet all around when it happened.” He knew I would suspect Diver, and that was an answer he hoped would keep me away from him.

 

I nodded, needing to change the subject. “So where are the girls?”

 

“They’re in the cafeteria. They wanted to eat in here, but I told them to go on.” He looked at me with a smile. “Sierra told me that Marlena came with you last night…”

 

“Yeah.” I took a deep breath.

 

“Things are going good then?” He searched my face.

 

“No. Sierra told her that I was a fighter before I had a chance to.” I was slowly beginning to feel resentment toward Sierra for blabbing, even if it was my fault in the first place.

 

“Marlena asked her if I was your manager. Sierra explained it to her, thinking that you must have told Marlena for her to ask that kind of question. And that’s when she realized that Marlena didn’t know.” He ended with a sigh. “I’m sorry John.”

 

I nodded, understanding now and letting the blame rest solely on myself. “We broke up.”

 

“Oh.” It was all that he said; a sense of loss seemed to come over him as if he himself had been the one that lost her.

The sun went down over the Dark Phoenix, a pinkish glow surrounded the old brick building. Putting both hands in my jean pockets, I grasped the metal door handle and opened it. My nerves started to jump, every fiber of me afraid. Despite my fears, I had to see Marlena, if for no other reason than the fact that I didn’t think I could live without her. The last day and a half was spent sitting in my apartment moping. It didn’t help that our first time together was in my bed—sleep had broken up with me too.

 

The writer was back sitting at a table near the middle, and beneath the white paint chips there sat a group of blonde men who needed a bath. The bar stools were occupied by a group of women dressed for a roller-derby; Zeno had his back turned getting their drinks. Stealthily, I sat down at a table near the writer. Slumping in the chair, I looked at the worn wood table top and waited for Marlena to show. If Zeno saw me first, I was certain he’d try to kill me and then I’d have to kill him. Either way it would be bad for both of us.

 

“Where is that cute little philly?” One of the grimy men slurred, taking another shot of whiskey, making every muscle in my body tighten. I sat up straight in my chair.

 

The door to the back room opened and I had to remind myself to breath. Marlena took a tray of whiskey and beer from Zeno and headed toward the writer. She was beautiful in jeans and a white shirt, hair down—primed to have my fingers run through it. Pulling my Yankees cap over my eyes, I tried to lean away from the writer’s table.

 

“Here you go.” She sat the beer down at his table.

 

The black and grey haired man never looked up from his papers. “Thanks.”

 

I turned my head away after realizing I was looking at her and she would turn around any second. My heart beat faster as I held the cap over my eyes. This was a stupid idea. She was walking in front of my table; she would give the blonde men their whiskey and then she would come back to take my order, but what I would ask for she wouldn’t be so willing to give.

 

“This is your last bottle. I’m not going to let you all die of alcohol poisoning in my bar.” She sat the whiskey on their table, took their money, and started to walk away, but the cleanest one grabbed her arm and turned her around.

 

“Where ya goin’ babe?” He looked her over with drunken eyes. I got up from the table.

 

“Let go of me.” She commanded.

 

“Did’ya hear that Raines?” He turned to the dirtiest and fattest of the bunch, never letting her out of his grasp.

 

“Yeah I did. Don’t ‘cha want to sit down here and get some love from some real men?” He undressed her with those menacing brown eyes.

 

“No. I don’t. And if you don’t stop harassing me then I’m going to get Zeno to throw you out. How would you like that?” She put her hands on her hips, never showing an ounce of fear. Most women would have been afraid at least a little bit, but not her. I wondered if it was because she trusted Zeno to care of her. Then it occurred to me that he had saved her countless times in this place from the scum of the world, scum that I had fought in a cage.

 

Disgruntled, he threw her arm back at her. “Just think you’re better than us. But you…you’re just a nobody girl.”

 

I stepped in between them. “Get out.” Pointing to the door, I clinched my other fist.

 

“Suuuure thing. When we are good and ready.” The one in the middle finally spoke. The others seemed to approve of his foolish answer to a question that was never asked.

 

“Get out. I’m not going to tell you again.” I glared at each of them.

 

“John, what do you think you’re doing?!” Marlena was mad, but at the moment I didn’t care.

 

They stood up and I was pleased to see none of them were taller than me, giving me an advantage that would hopefully scare them away from any sort of confrontation. With a chuckle, the fattest one let a molasses slow right upper cut go. I caught his arm and hit him in the gut, sending him to the floor holding his stomach. It felt good.

 

“John stop! Zeno!” I heard Marlena yell behind me. The other men were about to avenge their falling comrade; I could see it in the way they looked at me.

 

The middle one swung at my right temple; I ducked and hit him in the left eye. The other one was already coming at me when I made contact. He hit me in the left arm, which I’d protected my ribs with.  With a swift move, I clocked him in the eye with my right and in the ribs with my left. Instinct took over and I headed towards them as they backed away.

 

Marlena stopped me, grabbing my arms from behind. “Stop it!”

 

Zeno moved in between the men and I. “You boys better beat it.” They scampered out holding their new bruises.

 

“You can forget us comin’ back!” One of them yelled as the door closed behind them.

 

I took a deep breath. Zeno looked at me just as he had looked at them, shaking his head in disgust he walked back to the bar. Marlena let go of my arms and I picked up my hat from the floor. “What was that?!”

 

Turning to face her, I put my cap back on. “What do you mean?”

 

“You! Fighting in my bar!” She was furious.

 

“They were creeps and they insulted you. What did you expect me to do?!” This was not going like I had planned.

 

“I could have handled it. I was handling it! I don’t need protecting!” She slammed the tray down and headed for the bar.

 

Following, I started to lose my temper in sheer frustration. “Then why is he here!” I pointed to Zeno, who looked at us as if he was nothing short of an angel.

 

“John…” She turned to face me. “I don’t have to answer to you. Why are you here anyway?”

 

“You know why I’m here.” I ran a hand over the tight muscles in the back of my neck. “I love you.”

 

Biting her lip, she looked down at the floor. “I told you. It’s over.”

 

“Then why are you about to cry?” I turned her face towards me with my finger tips.

 

For a second, she looked into my eyes. Seeing the anguish that lie there broke my heart. Anguish, then fear, and that’s when she turned away from me. “It doesn’t matter. John there are a billion women out there…I’m sure you can find someone else to love.” Wiping her tears, she went to the back room. Following her, I was not about to take that answer. There was not another Marlena out there, and she was the only woman I wanted.

 

“I think you need to leave.” Zeno stepped between me and the door.

 

I was starting to hate him. “This is none of your business.”

 

“Yeah, I think it is.” He stated calmly, his green eyes never gaining sternness.

 

Biting the inside of my cheeks, I thought about laying him out right there. “I didn’t hear Marlena call for you.”

 

“Maybe not, but you are too wired to deal with this now. She’s upset. And so are you. I think you should go. If you want to come back and talk tomorrow…do that, but not tonight.”

 

Despite the fact I wanted to disagree with him, I knew he was right. Everything I’d done so far had been a disaster. Nodding, I realized what was important. “Will you make sure she’s alright for me?”

 

He nodded, a small smile on his face. “By the way, I’m glad you hit those guys.”

 

“Which reminds me…why didn’t you tell Marlena that I was a cage fighter?” I searched his face for a lie but found truth.

 

“It wasn’t my place.” With a shrug, he looked down at the derby women.

 

I rolled my eyes. “I’ll be back.”

 

“Yo’ Zeno!” One of the black haired women yelled shaking an empty glass.

 

“I’m sure you will.” He said before going down to the women. “Geez Patty…how many of those are you gonna have tonight?”

 

As I walked toward the door, I noticed Marlena’s face in the reflection of the Oregon state license plate that hung on the crimson wall. It was the last thing I saw as I opened the door and walked into the cool night air.

 

***

 

Her voice filled the room, jagged and full of sheer emotion. With a sigh, I laid back against the couch, leather squeaking as I did so. A special live performance, I watched her nod her head as she sang, black hair waving at me. It was not welcome. Pressing a button to escape Alanis Morissette, I switched from VH1 to Fuse. She was the last thing I needed to hear this morning. I felt like a jerk to begin with and hearing her sing about a jerk would only feed my growing self-dislike.

 

The room still smelled like chicken-flavored Ramen noodles, even though I’d finished my lunch half an hour before. I had spent the morning reading the new ESPN magazine, and watching television, but if someone quizzed me on either of them I wouldn’t remember a word. The only thing I could think about was Marlena. I had gone through the angry stage the night before after I’d gotten home. As a new day began, I came up with the idea that Marlena simply didn’t want to be with me. A couple of noodles later and I dismissed it, though half-trusting the choice.

 

Deciding right then and there that I would go and see Marlena at her house, I got off the couch and headed into the bedroom to get a shirt and some shoes. My eyes lingered on the bed when I entered the room, making my way to the closet. I grabbed a grey USC tee to go with the jeans I had on. I was going to do this right. No more screw ups, I was going to get her back today or I was going to learn I was wrong and she didn’t love me. Either way, I would get an answer, which was far better than not knowing.

 

The phone rang before I could make my way into the bathroom. Grabbing the cordless that lay on my bed, my heart skipped a beat, maybe it was her. “Hello.”

 

“John, how are ya?” Sierra said, her smile flowing through her cheery voice.

“I’m alright.” It came out depressed.

 

“Are you sure?” She asked concerned. “You still worried about Marlena aren’t ya?”

 

Closing my eyes, I tried to sound content, hoping to avoid a mountain of questions. “I’m sure it will all work out. How is Turbo?”

 

“Turbo is doing good. That’s what I called about John. I wanted to invite you and whoever you want to bring to his welcome home party. It’s a bit late, but this way he won’t suspect it.”

 

“It sounds like a great idea.” I smiled, grateful for Turbo’s recovery.

 

She started laughing over the phone. “Girls…I’m going to tell him.”

 

“Tell me what?” I asked cracking a smile at their mother-daughters banter.

 

“They think you should bring Marlena flowers and chocolates…what? Oh yeah. And you should go without your shirt.” She finished as Tyra and Lisa giggled in the background.

 

Blushing, I shook my head at their brazen comments. “Tell them I love them too.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“I’ll call Turbo later to see how he is, so I don’t blow your cover.” I looked down at my alarm clock to check the time.

 

“Thanks. Talk to you then.”

 

“Bye Sierra.” I hung up the phone and tossed it back on my bed. Even though I knew they were teasing, I started to think taking flowers and chocolates along wasn’t such a bad idea.

 

***

 

The U-Haul in front of me was going no more than 10 m.p.h., testing my patience. As if I wasn’t nervous enough, having to drive to Marlena’s at a snail’s pace gave me more time to trust and distrust my plan of action. Finally, the truck turned down another street, leaving me a perfect view of the Dodge Neon that poked along in front of me. When I saw blue lights up ahead, I knew it was going to be a while.

 

Sirens blared behind me, coming closer and closer until they charged ahead with the ambulance they belonged to. Curiosity getting the best of me, I leaned up so I could see past the cars in front of me to the scene of the accident or crime; I wasn’t sure which yet. The grey Neon moved forward and I followed, making it one car from the mess before I had to come to a halt and sit again.

 

Police cars surrounded Bill’s Diner and the paramedics from the ambulance were busy working on the person lying on the ground. There were no wrecked cars around, ruling out that type of accident. The pool of blood that surrounded the victim was enough to see that he or she had a life threatening injury. As I scanned the scene, my heart stopped—Zeno. I threw open my car door and ran over to the street.

 

“Is she going to be okay?!” Zeno screamed at the paramedics, panic and guilt in his voice.

 

“Let ‘em work on her son!” The grey bearded policeman pulled a distraught Zeno back.

 

“Sir, you can’t go over there.” A younger policeman with a brown goatee pushed me back.

 

I pointed toward Zeno, lying with ease. “I’m family!”

 

With a nod, he let me by. I ran faster than I ever had in my life to get to the paramedics. As I looked for Marlena’s face, I prayed.

Police cars surrounded Bill’s Diner and the paramedics from the ambulance were busy working on the person lying on the ground. There were no wrecked cars around, ruling out that type of accident. The pool of blood that surrounded the victim was enough to see that he or she had a life threatening injury. As I scanned the scene, my heart stopped—Zeno. I threw open my car door and ran over to the street.

 

“Is she going to be okay?!” Zeno screamed at the paramedics, panic and guilt in his voice.

 

“Let ‘em work on her son!” The grey bearded policeman pulled a distraught Zeno away.

 

“Sir, you can’t go over there.” A younger policeman with a goatee pushed me back.

 

“I’m family!” I pointed toward Zeno, lying with ease.  

 

With a nod, he let me by. Running faster than I had in my life, I headed for the paramedics. As I looked for Marlena’s face, I prayed. When I saw pained green eyes, and Marlena’s nose, I nearly choked. “Leslie.” I breathed out.

 

“What are you doing here?!” Zeno screamed his voice cracking.

 

Too shocked to speak, I ignored him. The woman paramedic looked over at the man, whispering something I couldn’t make out. I couldn’t tear my eyes from Leslie. The wound was in her chest, the blood a continuous stream of life turning to death.

 

“Mama!!” Marlena came running down the street; her knees hit the pavement as she collapsed in front of her mother and the paramedics across from me. Tears burned down her face, she looked like a child. “Mother?”

 

I didn’t dare speak as they put Leslie on a board and started to load her into the ambulance. I stood and watched, too afraid to do anything. Neither of the paramedics would look Marlena in the eyes. They were talking back and forth working on Leslie. Marlena held onto her mother’s hand as they closed the doors to the ambulance and headed for the nearest hospital.

 

Looking to where Zeno had stood, I found him sitting on the pavement, his head in his hands. “Zeno. Come on, you need to get to the hospital. We can take my car.” I put my hand on his shoulder.

 

He looked up at me with tear stained eyes. Nodding, he gathered his feet beneath him and followed me to my car.

 

***

 

When we finally found out where Leslie had been taken and what waiting room we were supposed to stay in to wait for Leslie to come out of surgery, precious moments had passed. With the exception of various curses at the staff, Zeno had been silent. We turned the white colored corner and I saw Marlena sitting in one of the chairs sobbing profusely.

 

“Marlena.” I dropped to my knees in front of her. “Sweetheart.” I pulled her into my arms, disregarding the fact that we were now sitting on the green carpeted floor. Her tears soaked into my grey t-shirt, and she pulled me even closer to her if that were even possible.

 

“She’s going to die!” It came out as a scream within a flood of tears.

 

“Oh baby.” I wrapped my arms tighter around her and rocked her back and forth. Using one hand, I rubbed her t-shirt covered back and tried to sooth the sobs that rocked her body away.

 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zeno collapse into the chair beside us. “I’m sorry.” His green eyes stared into an invisible oblivion. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Marlena pulled her face away from my chest and looked up at him. “How did this happen Zeno?”

 

“He…I didn’t think…I just…I’m so sorry.” His eyes burned a hole through the opposite wall, but tears started to trace down his face. “He shot her.”

 

“What happened?” Marlena moved even further out of my embrace, getting angrier by the second.

 

The police would be here soon to ask questions, and from the way Zeno appeared, he wasn’t ready to answer them. “Come on baby, he’s upset right now and so are you…”

 

“I want to know what happened!” She stood up from the floor. “Tell me!” Demanding it from him, she stood in front of Zeno, drawing his attention to her face.

 

Immediately, he jerked away. “It’s all my fault.” Standing he stalked out of the room and down the hall. I was conflicted on whether or not to follow him. The only reason I didn’t was because I didn’t want to leave Marlena alone.

 

“Do you know?” She whipped around to face me, tears falling from her eyes again.

 

“No, I don’t know what happened. I was on my way to your house. I stopped when I saw Zeno.” I stood up from the floor.

 

“Mrs. Evans’ family?” A scrubbed-in nurse came out of the metal swinging doors.

 

“Yes.” Marlena turned to face him, swiping at her tears as she did so.

 

The man turned nervous eyes on Marlena and I, making my heart sink. “Your mother is in critical condition. She’s lost a great deal of blood. The first bullet grazed her right lung. The other shattered her left arm. We’re trying to get her blood pressure stabilized. Dr. Sawyer is with her now. We’ve moved her to a room in ICU.”

 

“Is she awake?” I asked, afraid for Leslie, afraid for Marlena.

 

“No. I’ll take you to her room to wait for her to wake up.” After seeing Marlena nod, he started down the white hall.

 

Marlena wrapped her arms around her. She feared the worst. I was too afraid to tell her anything different, because if I was wrong she’d never forgive me. I put my arm around her waist and pulled her to me, kissing the top of her head. Putting an arm around me, she allowed me to comfort her as we followed the man down the hall.

 

***

 

Leslie lay there pale, broken, like some type of gothic porcelain figurine. Dr. Sawyer had objected, but Marlena had held onto me, insisting that I go in with her. I felt obligated to go, despite the fact I was impeding their privacy. She let go of my hand as she sat down by her mother. Taking Leslie’s hand in hers, she sat in silence, watching her.

 

It seemed as if Marlena hadn’t noticed the wounds, maybe she didn’t need to. I noticed them. It wasn’t the bandages that were hid beneath a cream hospital blanket that disturbed me the most, but the haze over her once bright green eyes. Her lips no longer held any color. The most grievous things of all were the machines that beeped continuously around us as if they were counting.

 

“Marlena.” The raspy sound of Leslie’s voice shattered the silence.

 

“Mama.” Marlena sat still, though a brave smile crept across her lips.

 

“I…I’m sorry.” The older woman closed her eyes and gasped for a breath.

 

“Shhhh…there’s nothing to be sorry about.” Shaking her head, Marlena squeezed Leslie’s hand.

 

“I need you…”

 

“I’m here Mama.” Marlena fought back tears valiantly.

 

“Promise.” Leslie whispered.

 

With a smile, Marlena glanced over at the machines. “Anything.”

 

Looking over Marlena, she smiled weakly at me and then back to her daughter. “Promise me that you…won’t…shut down.” She stopped inhaling a breath.

 

I noticed the machines, the change in pattern. My own heart changed its pace.

 

As she nodded, Marlena couldn’t hold her tears at bay any longer.

 

“Don’t…lock yourself…away.” She closed her eyes and swallowed. “Don’t give up…on love.”

 

“Mama, you’re gonna be alright.” Marlena choked back a sob. I went numb watching the scene unfold before me, the dull tap of the machines making it all the more surreal.

 

Leslie licked her lips, blinked her eyes, all of her movements sluggish. “Travis always said…it’s kinda like broken glass… beautiful in all…the right places.” She stopped to inhale again. “It’ll cut you in others…but…all it…” Her facial muscles tightened as she winced in pain. “Needs is a little…bit of glue.”

 

Her tears out of control, Marlena pleaded. “Mama. Don’t do this.”

 

“Love you.” Leslie whispered, gasping for a breath. The machines beeped wildly around us and I heard the sound of running coming our way from the hall. Everything moved in slow motion. Leslie summoned the strength to smile once for her daughter, closed her eyes, and gave up the fight. A chill ran through the air as the door flew open with hospital staff piling in, and the heart monitor flat lined.  

 

“No!!” Marlena jumped from the chair and reached for her mother. The nurses and doctors rushed between them. I wrapped both arms around her, holding her arms to her as she fell apart. “No…no.” She shook her head, both of her knees buckling. The doctors yelled out commands and words I didn’t understand. Marlena never took her eyes off of her mother. Her ‘no’s’ became racking sobs. I held on to her tighter, crying for her and for Leslie.

 

***

 

Long after the doctors left, we stood there in that same spot. We had slid to the floor when I could no longer hold us both up. As Marlena cried, I tried everything to make her feel better, even though I knew it was a lost cause. She needed to mourn and time would be her comforter. Finally, her tears began to slack more from exhaustion than anything else.

 

“John.” She whispered my name.

 

From behind, I nuzzled my head into the crook of her neck. “What is it sweetheart?”

 

“What am I supposed to do now?” Her words were shattered.

 

I kissed her cheek. “You have to keep on living. It’s what your mother and father would want.”

 

She sniffled and wiped her eyes. “It’s just so hard.”

 

“But you can do it. You’re the strongest woman I know.” Looking into her hazels, I took her hand in mine.

 

Nodding, she turned back to face the hospital bed and her mother’s body. “I just don’t understand how this happened.”

 

A knock at the door stopped me from replying to her. “Come in.”

 

“They need to ask Marlena some questions out here.” Zeno looked at the floor, seeming too scared to look at either Marlena or Leslie.

 

“Where have you been?!” Marlena jumped up from the floor.

 

“I’ve been here answering questions for the police.” He put his hands in his jean pockets. “I ran down here when…” He pointed to the bed, still not looking at it. “But you didn’t see me.”

 

“What happened?” She moved in front of him.

 

“I’m sorry Marlena. I’m just so sorry.” He started to cry, his size making the emotion seem awkward.

 

“Tell me what happened!” She grabbed his shoulders.

 

“I promised Leslie that I would take her out for lunch and she wanted to go to Bill’s. I was just trying to do something nice for her. I loved her like family Marlena. You know that, right?” He swiped at a few stray tears.

 

Losing her patience, Marlena took a deep breath to calm down and asked again. “What happened?”

 

“We came out. This man came up to us; he wanted our money. I told him I wasn’t going to give him anything. That’s when he pulled out the gun and aimed it at Leslie.” He shut his green eyes as if he was stopping the scene from replaying in his mind. “I gave him everything I had. And then he asked her to do the same. And she handed her purse to him.” Taking a deep breath, he continued. “When he turned to run, he hit Leslie’s wheelchair and it fell over. I swear, I thought that was my chance. I moved in to take him down and then some people came out of the diner and he went ballistic. Somehow he got to his feet before I did and Leslie grabbed his leg…that’s when he shot her and ran off.”

 

“Cou…” Marlena started to speak, but stopped. Instead, she turned away from him and walked back to where we had stood before, placing a hand on her forehead.

 

I watched the larger man cry, bite his cheeks to stop it, but lose the fight. “I should have done something else. I know! I’m sorry.”

 

“You tried Zeno.” I put my hand on his shoulder.

 

“I never should have told him no to begin with, then he wouldn’t have ever of pulled the gun out and none of this would have ever happened!” He turned away from me, slamming his oversized fist into the white wall.

 

“Come on man. You can’t think like that.” I pulled his arm away from the wall. “Leslie wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

 

“Marlena.” He walked past me and over to where she stood. “I’m sorry.”

 

She wiped at her newly fallen tears and shook her head. “I can’t do this right now.”

 

“Marlena.” He tried to grab her arm, but she pushed him away.

 

I didn’t try to stop her, though she stopped in front of me as if she expected me to do so. Her eyes ran across my face before she opened the door and went out into the hall. Zeno started after her; I stepped between him and the door. “Let her go.”

 

“John, I can’t stay in this room.” He pleaded with me, teary eyed.

 

“Alright.” Understanding what he meant and suddenly feeling uncomfortable myself, I opened the door and walked out with him.

 

Marlena was to our right sitting in one of the chairs outside of the room, waiting for one of the police officers to get off the phone at the desk across from her. She looked over at us for a fraction of a second and then snatched her gaze away.

 

“Um…I think I should take a walk or something.” Noticing her, Zeno gestured down toward my left and went on his way.

 

As she watched Zeno walk down the hall, both sadness and relief washed over her face. With a hint of need in her hazel eyes, Marlena looked over at me. As I sat down beside her, she took my hand in hers. “Thank you.” She whispered.

 

The policeman hung up the phone and walked over to us. He rubbed the red scruff on his face before speaking. “I’ve got good news. Ms. Evans, Detective Parker called a few moments ago. They’ve found the man who murdered your mother.”

It took me hours to get Marlena to leave the hospital that night. When she finally did, I took her to my place, where she cried herself to sleep in my arms. I didn’t have any idea what she was going through, but I imagined it would be close to how I would feel if something like this happened to Turbo—it almost did happen with the fire. I called both Sierra and him and told them about Leslie. They didn’t have to ask if I was with Marlena; both of them already knew it.

 

The police said that it was a repeat offender. After he ran from Bill’s Diner, the police spotted him waiting outside a BP station. When they moved in on him, he shot himself. The news didn’t make Marlena feel better; it just made her feel disgusted. That morning she made the arrangements for the viewing and the funeral. It was her mother’s request that they were on the same day. When she finished the call, she fell back into my arms on the couch. It wasn’t until 3:57 that afternoon that I attempted to move.

 

“Sweetheart.” I ran a hand up and down her back.

 

She held onto my torso tighter. “You don’t have to leave do you?”

 

Sensing the fear without looking into her eyes, I kissed the top of her head and ran a hand through her hair. “No, I’m not going anywhere. I just thought you might want something to eat. Do you? I’ll fix anything you want.”

 

She shook her head, and stayed focused on the Seinfeld episode that was on television.

 

“C’mon baby. You need to eat. I’ll fix you anything…you name it…and I’ll cook it. And you would be proud of me. I went out and bought some healthy stuff just for you.” I tried to lighten the mood.

 

A small smile found her face. “Okay.”

 

“Okay?” I asked enthused, making her laugh a little.

 

“Yeah.” She sat up, allowing me to do the same.

 

I tried not to stare, but it almost killed me not to look at least once. She was wearing a simple red spaghetti strapped tank and black cotton shorts. She had no idea how much it turned me on, and she didn’t need to know. We still weren’t back together, and for me to make any sort of move on her in the condition she was in would have classified me as a heartless jerk.

 

Rummaging through the top cabinets, I heard her come up behind me. “Can you make me some pancakes?” I turned around to see her hop onto the kitchen counter.

 

“Sure.” I smiled, seeing once again how innocently beautiful she was. Her hair was messy but somehow it was still gorgeous.

 

Gathering ingredients, I set up station beside her. “Can I ask you a question?”

 

I looked up at her, while she played with a strand of blonde. “Anything.”

 

Her left hand went to my bare chest, moving up and down it, she scanned over me curiously. “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?”

 

“What? Notice what?” I stammered, affected by her slightest touch.

 

“14, John. You had 14 bruises and scars.” Her eyes flashed down at the floor for a mill-second and then came back up to meet my questioning eyes. “They’re small and subtle. But they were there the first night we made love. It looks like a couple have gone away since.”

 

I didn’t know what to say. Looking up from the pancake mix, I caught her eyes, which were trained on mine. “I didn’t know they were that bad.” Guiltily, I mumbled looking back to the batter.

 

“Why do you do it? And don’t tell me it’s because of the money or it’s a stable job or you do it for Turbo. I want the truth.”

 

While I stirred, I tried to figure out the answer to that question. “I…I don’t know.” Shrugging, I began to realize that there was an answer—one I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell her.

 

Crossing her arms, she sighed in frustration. “I don’t believe that.”

 

Somehow I knew she was going to say that. Stopping my work, I turned around facing the opposite wall, as I leaned against the counter with my arms. My eyes fell to the floor to fight the feelings of anxiety that kicked in when I began to admit my deepest feelings. “I like it. I guess I’m…I just still have issues with the fact I didn’t have real parents. It’s always bothered me…and when I’m fighting…I just let all that pain out. Wow! I can’t believe I just said all of that.” I laughed it off, and turned back to face the bowl of batter, never looking to see Marlena’s face, too ashamed to do so, and feeling awkward because Marlena’s parents weren’t around anymore—a new reality I didn’t want to bring up.

 

She sat there in silence as I finished mixing and started pouring the batter into a pan. I think she felt just as awkward as I did. Unexpectedly, she hopped off the counter and wrapped her arms around my waist from behind. “Don’t brown them too much.”

 

My left hand found her hands on my waist and I squeezed them. “You got it.” With a small smile at how great it felt to have her so close to me, I finished making her barely done pancakes and for the first time in my life, I tried them that way too.

 

***

 

Later that night, we sat down on the floor, our backs supported by the couch and started watching The Notebook—her favorite movie which we’d gone out and rented. My arm was around her, and she comfortably rested her head on my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head as she played with the bottom of my white t-shirt.

 

“Do you like it so far?” She looked up at me, her hazel eyes capturing all of my attention.

 

“Yeah, I think I do.” I said giving her a smile, wishing we had gone out on a lake like Noah and Allie. “Would you have pulled my pants down at the fair?”

 

She erupted into giggles. “What do you think?”

 

“I think you’d do it. But you’d do it because you’d want to see me in my boxers.” I raised an eyebrow and looked down at her.

 

Sitting up, she moved out of my arms. “You are so full of yourself.” I caught the hand she had sent to slap my arm playfully.

 

“Violence? Really Marlena. Tisk…tisk.” I held her arm in the air, and with my other hand I moved my index finger back and forth.

 

An impish grin flashed across her face, and before I knew it she had grabbed my other hand and jumped on top of me, sending us both to the floor. Regaining my composure, I took control of our fighting arms—only slightly, using just enough strength but being ever so careful not to hurt her—and sent both our bodies in the opposite direction, placing her on her back.

 

“John!!” She screamed in the midst of laughter as I placed both her hands within one of mine, and started tickling the sides of her torso.

 

“Oh no! No mercy from me. You started this!” I tried not to laugh at her writhing, but the girl had the most contagious laugh I’d ever heard. Not joining her was nearly impossible.

 

Just as I was beginning to feel some victory over her, she kneed me in the groin. Rolling off of her, I held on until the pain subsided.

 

In between my coughs, I heard her say, “Oh my gosh! Baby!” Getting up, she sat down beside me. Her words were filled with both concern and sadistic giggles. “I really didn’t mean to do that. I’m sorry. I really…” As I looked up at her, my face in a grimace, she really started to recognize what she apparently thought was total hilarity.

 

“I’m broke.” I managed to get out.

 

She stopped laughing just long enough to say, “No you aren’t”, and went back to enjoying the moment.

 

While the pain died, I continued to appear wounded so I could figure out how to obtain my revenge. Deciding against playing angry, I swiftly moved to stand. Before she had a chance to do anything, I threw her over my shoulder and headed out the apartment door.

 

***

 

I carried her all the way out onto the street before I sat her down despite her growing protests. It was already nearly ten o’clock but the street outside my building was starting to lose density. Next to my building on either side and even on the opposite street were apartment buildings and condos. The only businesses that attracted anyone were two restaurants a couple of blocks down—one was Italian, the other Chinese. Deciding that my revenge would be best served as a red haring, I had intended to take Marlena down to the Chinese restaurant to get a fortune cookie, but she protested.

 

“John, what are you doing?!” She glanced around the street after I sat her down.

 

“I thought we’d go get a fortune cookie.” I took her hand in mine and started down the street, but she didn’t budge. “You don’t want to go?”

 

“Look at me.” She pointed to her clothes, which I saw nothing wrong with.

 

“You look great. What’s wrong?” I stood puzzled.

 

Shaking her head despite the smile that was on her face, she tried to explain. “My hair is a mess, and I mind as well have on pajamas. Plus neither of us has on shoes.”  

 

“Come on.” I really smiled, as I moved closer to her. “You’re beautiful. I didn’t even think about shoes, but it’s only a couple of blocks down. I have on socks. Here.” I turned my back to her, “Jump on.”

 

With a slight snigger, she hoped on. “Please don’t step on anything.”

 

“Like what?” I teased as I took careful steps towards the Chinese place.

 

“Um…glass…rocks…anything else that could hurt you or give you a disease.”

 

“I’ll try not to.” I said in between concentration. “So how does the movie end?”

 

“I can’t tell you that.”

 

“Please.”

 

“No, I really can’t.” She tightened her grip on me.

 

“Please.”

 

“No!” Laughing at my persistence, she continued. “I’m not going to ruin it for you.”

 

She kissed my neck as I carried her into the restaurant. There were only two people inside eating, and the only employee I saw was a young boy sitting by the cash register. I adjusted Marlena on my back, and replaced my hands in back of her knees again. “Can we get two fortune cookies?”

 

He nodded and handed me two from a jar sitting on the counter. “Two dolla’s.”

 

I pulled a five out of my shorts and handed it to the boy who gave us a grin and the cookies. “You’re lady is beautiful.”

 

“Thank you.” Winking at him, I handed the cookies to Marlena to hold, and placed my hands back underneath her legs to support her.

 

***

 

When we were settled back into our cozy little spot beneath the couch, we turned The Notebookback on.

 

“Here you go.” She handed my cookie to me and gave me a grin.

 

I turned toward her. “Let’s have a count.”

 

“Okay.” She said turning toward me and sitting Indian-style.

 

“Ready.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“1…2…3!” We ripped into the packages, triumphantly pulling out our cookies and breaking them to retrieve the tiny coveted piece of paper inside.

 

I popped a piece of cookie in my mouth. “You go first.”

 

She stared at her fortune a minute then looked up at me. “It says: If you want the rainbow, you must       put up with the rain.”

 

It surprised me that the thing actually pertained to her life. In my experience, the things had always ended up giving bogus messages about making surprising discoveries or the origin of time.

 

“What does yours say?” She broke the silence and interrupted my thoughts.

 

“It says: You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.” I threw the thing down, believing no part of it.

 

“At least they taste good.” She shrugged.

 

“That’s a fact.” I moved back against the couch as she snuggled back into my arms.

 

“John, I don’t think I want to finish the movie.”

 

“Why’s that?” I asked as she snuggled closer.

 

Taking my hand in hers, she watched our fingers fit together. “I don’t want to see the ending.”

I had expected rain during the funeral, but there was only sunshine. Zeno came and surprisingly he and Marlena got along just fine. As a matter of fact, they held each other for a long time and cried after the service. Awkwardly, I stood back and watched. Turbo and Sierra came—Marlena seemed touched by the gesture.

 

There were about 50 people in attendance. Some from the bar, some from Marlena’s neighborhood, and some of Leslie’s former colleagues from Bill’s. Marlena had been right when she said that no one from their fortunate past would come. It was a humbling thing to witness, an easy lesson in the fickleness of social circles. After everything was over, I took Marlena back to my place as she requested.

 

“Give me that one.” She pointed to a chocolate filled Krispy Kreme donut in the box I held.

 

I sat down beside her on the bed, where she sat Indian-style wearing a pair of cotton shorts and a simple black Hard Rock Café t-shirt. “Here you go.” I handed her the donut and picked up a vanilla filled one.

 

“Thank you.” She took it from me and passed it to her right hand, licking the glaze off of her left fingers before taking a bite.

 

I bit half-way through mine, showing the hunger of waiting three hours to eat. “Mmmm.”

 

Marlena laughed at my enthusiasm in between large bites of her own. “Good idea, huh?”

 

“Amazing idea!” I said after finishing.

 

She popped the last piece of hers into her mouth and licked her fingers. “Mama loved these.”

 

“She had great taste.” I smiled; the subject of her mother was still a delicate subject as far as I was concerned, one I had little experience in handling.

 

“Yeah.” Marlena trailed off. “You know…she liked you a lot John.” She looked down at her hands and played with her fingers.

 

“Is that right?” A boyish grin came to own my face.

 

“Yeah.” She smiled back at me. “She was your champion.”

 

“How so?” I asked it before I realized I’d spoken.

 

“Well…” She turned towards me. “She just encouraged me to spend time with you. Told me to give you a chance, and if you were a jerk…she promised she’d take care of you.” She finished with a laugh.

 

Taking her hand in mine, I locked onto her hazel eyes. “I’m glad you took her advice.”

 

Returning my smile for a moment, she looked away, insecurity written all over her face. Slowly, she took her hand out of my grasp.

 

“What’s wrong Sweetheart?” I touched her arm.

 

Pulling away, she stood up and walked to the window. Staring out into the rain soaked sunset, she turned to face me, biting her lip to keep tears at bay.

 

“Marlena?” I didn’t know what to do. Obviously, she didn’t want me to touch her, so I stood up but didn’t move in her direction. “What is it?”

 

She ran a hand through her hair, fear and guilt consuming her face. “I can’t lose anyone else John.”

 

I nodded, unable to give her any sort of reassurance about something I had no control over.  Instead, I crossed the space between us.

 

She eased into my embrace, hugging me tighter as she calmed. “Promise me that you won’t leave me.”

 

“I promise.” I kissed the side of her face, conviction instantly hitting me in the gut.

 

She must have felt it too. “You mean it? You aren’t going to fight anymore?”

 

Looking out the window, I watched the rain beat the city. “I’m not going to leave you.”

 

She pulled out of my arms. “John…”

 

I put a finger to her lips. “Marlena, Turbo needs me.”

 

Glaring at me in disbelief, she pushed my hand away and walked back to the window. “Don’t lie to me! He doesn’t need you to fight! You want to do it!”

 

I hated that she knew me so well. “He needs me.” I repeated for myself more than for her.

 

“I’m sorry.” She turned around to face me; her tears disappearing with the rain outside. “I’m sorry that I keep trying to make you someone that you’re…not.” Her last word came out as a whisper, as if it were a new revelation.

 

“I love you.” I knew what she was about to say next. There was nothing I could say to stop this, but if there was any shot at all it would be those three words—I meant every syllable of each one.

 

“I know you do.” She smiled despite the pain that hid in her eyes. “But you also love Red Cove.” Her words came with no contempt, just definition.

 

I didn’t know what she was asking me to do. All I knew was that I was losing myself in this, and everything had become grey. With no idea of what to say, I listened.

 

“You once said you’d do anything for me.” Carefully, she watched my eyes. I couldn’t help but notice the cynical tone that lurked amidst her phrase.  

 

“Anything you want.” I repeated, hoping to eradicate her disbelief.

 

“Will you hold me tonight?” Sincerely, she seemed to speak from the very depths of her soul.

 

Tears welled up in my eyes as I pulled out a piece of my heart and gave it to her. “I’d hold you until the end of time.” Pulling her into my embrace, I kissed her forehead—her cheeks—her nose. And when I had finished, I searched her eyes.

 

“I love you.” She whispered, before taking my lips in hers. Her tongue skimmed my top lip as it entered my mouth. My hands found their way up her waist. Fervently, she clung to me, wrapping both legs around me. My lips sucking hers, capturing and teasing her tongue, she tasted sweeter than anything I’d ever known.

 

We reached the bed, falling onto it, her on top of me. Raising up, she threw off her shirt, returned her lips back to the grasp of mine. My hands grazed up and down her bare back as we kissed. Swiftly, I turned us over. Sliding out from under me enough to lift her back so that she could reach my shirt, I noticed her eyes darken—I loved it when they darkened. I loved that I made her do that. I loved everything about her.

 

She tossed my shirt behind her, and ran both hands across my chest. I eased down slowly, my arms coming down beside her on each side. She lifted her head up to mine, and teased my lips as she nipped at them. I gave her what she wanted as I leaned all the way down to her. My arm snaked under her back, and pulled her torso up to reach my own. With one arm, she held onto my neck as my lips sucked the spot above her collarbone she loved and danced upward.

 

Barely audible, between increasingly heavy breathing, she spoke. “Make love to me.”

 

***

 

Sunlight drifted threw the dew kissed windows, making me curse not closing the blinds the night before. Groggily, I opened my eyes and hoped it hadn’t woken up Marlena. It was then I realized she was not in my arms. Her leg was no longer draped across me, nor was her arm. She was gone. I jerked up, throwing the black satin sheets off of me and threw on a pair of boxers.

 

I repeated again and again the possible reasons she was not there. Perhaps, she was making breakfast for the two of us. However, the kitchen was empty. She could be in the shower, and she just hasn’t turned the water on yet. As my optimism diminished, I desperately tried to revive it. She was not in the shower either. Maybe she went out for breakfast. It was the only other possibility, and I clung to it. Sitting back on the bed, there was nothing for me to do but wait.

 

Impatiently, I turned to my nightstand and checked the clock. At 7:29, I saw the folded letter with my name on it standing between the clock and the lamp. My anxiety increased to the point that I could hardly breathe. Unfolding it, I read it.

 

John,

Thank you for last night. It was wonderful. I didn’t have the heart to wake you, so I wrote this instead. I don’t know how to start, so I’m just going to do it. I love you, and that’s why I had to leave. What we shared was amazing, and that’s how I want to remember it. This way there’s no pain just beautiful memories. I know I’ve asked a lot of you. And there’s one more thing I need to ask…please let me go. I know you don’t want to, but please just do it for me.

 

Thank you for giving me something to smile about,

Marlena

 

I could hear the snaps and feel the tears of the sinew of my heart as it ripped. With no strength left, I fell back against the bed and stared at the ashen ceiling, but all I saw was her face. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I had not cried in such dark despair since before I met Turbo and Sierra.

 

***

Finally, after two hours of lying there, I took a shower and drove to Turbo’s house. Lisa and Tyra met me at the front door.

 

“John!”

 

“Black!”

 

I laughed at the two of them, and pulled them both two me for a group hug. A hug, I desperately needed.

 

“Where have you been?” Tyra slapped me on the arm.

 

Lisa winked, “With Marlena?”

 

I gripped the muscles in my neck. “Yeah I was with her.” It was cold and solemn.

 

“How is she doing?” Lisa asked sincere.

 

“She’s making it. It’s hard. She loved her mother very much.” It was the truth. “Where’s your dad?” I looked to Tyra.

 

“He’s in the living room.” Her playful smile had disappeared.

 

Nodding, I made my way into the room. Turbo sat on the cream couch, standing up he turned the television off. “Black, I’m glad you’re here. We just got the Fire Marshall’s report.”

 

“What did it say?” I was glad for a distraction.

 

“It was electrical. Started because of that old wiring in that back room. Looks like it wasn’t arson at all. Isn’t that good news?” He smiled, the corners of his brown eyes wrinkling.

 

“That’s great.” I forced a smile.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” He immediately asked.

 

“Marlena left this morning. She left and she said it was over.” I looked down at the hard wood floor, for the first time noticing the curvature of the wood grain.

 

“I’m sorry John.” The older man didn’t seem to know what to say. I couldn’t blame him; there wasn’t anything to say.

 

“So, when are you going to start rebuilding?” I smiled eager to engross myself into some sort of project.

 

“That’s somethin’ else I wanted to talk to you about.” He looked around the room as if he was dodging something. “I’m not planning to rebuild.” That’s when I realized he was dodging guilt.

 

“What?” I stood in disbelief. “What do you mean you aren’t going to rebuild?” Helpless, I watched as my world disappeared.

 

“John…” Turbo put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m getting out of the business. This whole fire thing…”

 

“But it was faulty wiring! It had nothing to do with the business.” I turned my back to him.

 

“You know it could have been. It’s too dangerous. I can’t do it anymore.”

 

Whipping around, I gave him a hopeful smile. “Okay. Well, I’ll do it. And you can get the same cut, but no one has to know you are behind the scenes. I’ll run it. I’ll take the heat.”

 

“No, Black.” He shook his head.

 

“Why not?!”

 

“Because you can do better!”

 

Fatherly advice is not what I desired. “I’m a fighter. That’s who I am. That’s what I do.”

 

“No it’s not.” He stated flatly.

 

“Come on Turbo! You of all people understand that!”

 

“What’s going on in here?” Sierra came into the room with wide green eyes.

 

“I told him about Red Cove.” He turned to his wife as she walked over to me. Placing her hand on my arm, she turned my face to her.

 

Meeting her green eyes, I felt like a lost seven year old child again. “I know you keep holding on to Red Cove because it’s the only stability you’ve ever known…”

 

“But Black, you haven’t really cared since you met Marlena.” Turbo interrupted.

 

“Exactly. It’s time to let go.” Sierra smiled.

 

I nodded. They were both right. There was nothing for me to say. It was all true.

 

“So, how is Marlena?” I cut my eyes away from her. “Oh John. She ran didn’t she?”

 

“Yes.” I managed to whisper.

 

Tears came to her eyes, and she pulled me into a hug. “It’s going to be okay.”

 

“How do you know?” I sighed.

 

“Because the good Lord is in control, that’s how I know.” She pulled out of my embrace to give me a smile. “Now…”

 

“I go find her, right?” I asked a smile coming out for a moment.

 

“Yes!” The girls came into the room, screaming in unison while giggling.

 

“Alright.” I smiled whole heartedly for the first time that day as suddenly things didn’t seem so grey after all.

 

“GO!” They yelled as they pushed me out the door.

 

“Bye John!” Sierra yelled.

 

“Good luck Black!” Turbo added.

 

“He doesn’t need luck. That girl loves him.” Sierra said to her husband, her voice carrying into the foyer.

 

“Ask her to marry you!” Lisa smacked me on the butt as I went out the door.

 

“Lisa!” Tyra yelled at her younger sister. “Just tell her you love her!”

 

I would, and now I finally understood how much. Suddenly, everything that I didn’t understand either didn’t matter or made perfect sense. With a hopeful heart, I headed for The Dark Phoenixand prayed that I would get her back.

Nervously, I approached The Dark Phoenix as if it were for the very first time. What would she say? I wondered and played a thousand different scenes in my head. I pulled at the white tee-shirt I wore, and checked my jeans in the glass of a near-by Toyota Camry. Pleased with my reflection, I headed for the bar. Unable to open the door, I peered into the hazy window. The lights were off, and my heart began to sink into the depths. Near panic, I pulled on the old grey door; it didn’t budge.

 

“Black!”

 

I turned to find the male who’d called for me, hoping whoever it was knew where Marlena had gone. It was a sober Dean ‘Mustang’ Bordeaux. “It looks like it’s closed, Mustang.”

 

“Just for a few weeks, John.” He smiled, and offered his hand to me.

 

Not knowing what to think about this change in him, I shook his hand and carefully watched him. “You know where Marlena is?”

 

“No, I’m afraid I don’t. But Zeno probably does. He’s supposed to meet me here in,” he looked at his watch, “five minutes or so.”

 

Nodding, I looked into the older man’s dark brown eyes. “Why are you meeting Zeno? And why are you sober?”

 

He chuckled at the latter. “I’m meeting him to get the keys to this place. And as for your other question…” He raised his left hand.

 

In semi-shock, I stared at its bareness; his wedding ring was finally gone. “It’s about time!” I slapped his shoulder. “So you got some help?”

 

“Yeah, I got help Black. After that night you came in here”, he pointed to the bar, “I saw how your eyes lit up when you talked to Sugar; I left not long after she had Zeno throw you out. Went to about 5 more bars and drank myself unconscious. The next morning I woke up in an alley, lost my wallet. I replaced the money with time, and the credit cards, driver’s license, all that. But you know what was in there that I couldn’t replace?” A smile crept across his thin lips.

 

“What?” I questioned intrigued.

 

“My favorite picture of Mary. Yep, lost it. That morning I realized it was over. I took my wedding ring off, and threw it in the dumpster.”

 

“Good for you, man.” It was refreshing to finally hear of redemption in this city.

 

“That’s not all Black.” He smiled and rocked on his heels. “I started going to church with my mother. And I met a girl. The girl.” He grinned from ear to ear.

 

I smiled back at him, happy for this broken friend to be mended, but at the same time, a part of me wanted to break. I had met the girl, and I’d lost her.

 

“Hey Dean.” Zeno did a double take as he stepped on to the sidewalk. “John?”

 

“Zeno. Do you know where Marlena is?” I asked going straight to the point, not needing nor wanting to drag out the suspense.

 

“She’s gone, John.” His green eyes fell to the cracked grey cement.

 

“What do you mean she’s gone?!” I yelled at him, and fought the urge to hit him.

 

He raised his face up, those green eyes still melancholy. “She sold the bar to Dean. Took the money. And she left L.A. She’s gone.” He sniffed as if he was near crying, and a small flame of jealousy flared up.

 

“She left!” I turned back to the bar, glaring through the old brick. “Do you know where she went?”

 

“She couldn’t stay here anymore. I don’t know where she is.” Zeno said before clearing his throat.

 

“She sold the bar?” Turning back, I asked still in shock.

 

“Afraid so.” Mustang answered. “Zeno’s my first employee.”

 

“You’re going to run a bar?”

 

“No!” He laughed. “AA would flip. It’s going to be a restaurant.”

 

I looked to Zeno, seeing the flash of immense loss I had expected considering the bar would become the thing Leslie believed it to be all along. “And the name of this restaurant?”

 

“I think you know.” Zeno said with reverence.

 

“Beneath the Lamplight.”

 

The two men nodded.

 

“If you love her Black, go and get her.” Mustang spoke up.

 

I looked to Zeno; I took his solemn nod as the sincerest response he could muster. “You’re a great guy Zeno, don’t let anyone tell you any different.”

 

Laughing, either at the fact that I’d given him a comment or maybe it was at the irony of it all, he replied. “And you’re okay too John.”

 

We stood there for an awkward moment, both of us knowing another word might spill a secret we didn’t want the other to know.

 

Mustang was the one to stop the silence. “You ready Zeno? We’ve got a ton to move.”

 

“Yeah.” He pulled the keys to the place out of his pocket and headed to unlock the door.

 

“Good luck Black.” Mustang pointed at me. “And anytime you and Sugar come in, meal’s on the house.”

 

“Thanks Mustang.” I shook his hand again. “Goodbye.” I said to both the men, and to the old brick building. Something deep in my heart told me that I would never see this part of the city again.

 

***

 

On my way to the airport, Turbo called and asked me to meet him at the bank. I didn’t want to waste another second, but he promised it would help me find Marlena. I’d do anything to find her, even be unhappily patient which I was terrible at.

 

Hasty steps brought me into the building; grey carpet lay throughout the room with contrasting walls of mahogany separating the floor and the cold white ceiling. Looking to and fro, I spotted Turbo sitting across from a desk near the large window pane with the small crack in the corner. “Turbo.”

 

“John, I promise this will only take a minute.” He smiled up at me, his salt and pepper hair reflecting the fluorescent light above. “Come on sit.” He patted the dark red leather chair next to him.

 

I took it gladly, needing to rest my legs for the journey I was about to embark on. “So what’s going on?”

 

“I got the insurance money. And you’re getting a chunk of it, Black.” His brown eyes twinkled as he finished.

 

Unable to say anything, I just grinned and laughed.

 

“And don’t try to say you aren’t going to take it.” He slapped me on the shoulder. “Because, you’re going to need it to get Marlena back. You got any idea where she could have gone?”

 

I accepted, grateful for this man who’d allowed me to grow up underneath his guardianship. “I don’t know. I just…I can’t come up with anywhere. I called Zeno and he doesn’t know of any family she could have went to or anything.”

 

“Hmm.” Turbo ran a hand underneath his chin. “You don’t think she left the country do you?”

 

Before I could respond, an Asian American man about my age wearing a dark brown business suit sat down with a suitcase. “I have it right here Mr. Jackson, just as you requested.”

 

***

 

“You still speechless?” Turbo laughed as we made our way to our vehicles.

 

“Twenty-five thousand dollars! In one day? Yeah. I’m a little speechless. ” I said still dumbfounded.

 

We reached our cars. The sun hit the top of his silver Mazda at just the right angle to cause me to shield my eyes with my right hand, with my left I clung to the suitcase I carried.

 

“You think it’ll be okay? Me carrying around all of this?” I asked him, needing his advice as I had so many times before.

 

He smiled, nodding. “I think you can guard 5 grand. And you can with drawl whatever else you need at the nearest bank you find.”

 

“Yeah.” My eyes fell to the baking asphalt. With a bitter smile and glistening eyes, I looked back up at him. “Thank you.”

 

The older man shook his head. “No, John. Thank you.”

 

I replied with a smile at the thought of knowing I had made him proud. “Will you tell the girls and Sierra that I love them?”

 

“Of course.” He said, before clearing his throat.

 

“I’d tell them myself, but I…”

 

“It’s okay Black. You can’t exactly stop the Volleyball tournament.” Laughing, his brown eyes seemed as melancholy as ever.

 

“Yeah.” I hated leaving them and I wasn’t sure I could do it. I was wrong to think it was Red Cove I needed, that wasn’t the stability I craved—this family was.

 

“Call me as often as you can okay?” He picked up on my inability to end this conversation, and like the courageous father he was, he ended it for me.

 

“I will.”

 

“Goodbye Black.” He held out his hand, but I didn’t take it.

 

Instead, I pulled him into a hug. “Thank you.” I said as we ended the hug, meaning every word of it.

 

“My son.” He said, slapping me shoulder. “My son.”

 

“Always.” I wiped at a stray tear.

 

“You need to get going.” He pushed back his own tears.

 

“Goodbye, Turbo.” I said getting in my Hyundai.

 

As I drove away, I glanced in my rearview mirror, and truly said goodbye. I had no idea where Marlena was, but I was going to find her. She was my life now.

 

***

 

I finish our story and stare at the gold flowered carpet. It does not help that Marlena has still not shown up, and I know I’ve been talking for at least an hour. Sly, though, doesn’t seem to mind.

 

She wipes a tear. “I ain’t never heard nothin’ like that before.” Her emerald eyes flash wildly. “It’s just so beautiful.”

 

With a shrug, I trace one of the spiky looking flowers in the carpet with my finger. “It’s all true.”

 

“Yall should write a book. But make me thirty-ish. Not twenty-ish, I want it believable now. So thirty-ish…that will do.” She says as if I’m taking notes, her gaze on the crimson wall behind me. “Who’d you want to play you?”

 

Shaking my head, I tire of her random comments, the waiting making me ill. “I don’t think we’ll write a book”  

 

Sternly, she glares at me, and then grins. “You ain’t gotta be so dang nervous Blue Eyes. She’s gonna melt when she sees ya.”

 

“And how do you know?” I ask, needing her sincerest answer.

 

Rolling her eyes, she sighs. “What do ya mean ‘how do I know’? Of course I know.”

 

“Right.” Monotoned and disbelieving, I reply.

 

“It’s true. She loves you. I’d bet half my alimony checks on it.” She tries to reassure me in her own way, and it works…somewhat.

 

“That’s really not necessary.” I laugh, glad that she lightened the mood, though I’m not entirely sure she meant to.

 

“Suit yourself.” She says pushing herself up to stand. Her red hair covers the numbers of the hotel door and I can’t help but notice how they appear to be on fire. “I’m afraid I have an appointment down at the pool with a Mr. Hollack.” She recalls his name with an air of coquettishness. “But thank you so very much for entertaining me Blue Eyes.”

 

I nod, oddly enough wishing she would stay.

 

“And don’t worry so much!” After slapping my forearm, she puts her hands on her hips. “Invite me to the wedding and if things don’t work out…and you want a lesson.” She winks, “you just ask around for Sly.”

 

I have no idea how to reply to her. “Okay.”

 

“Au Revoir.” With a sway, she exits the hall and heads down the large staircase. I can hear her heels snap against each stair as she goes.

 

Suddenly, the hall is cold. I stare at 429, just stare and wait. Restless, I begin to pray, something I’m starting to realize I haven’t done enough of in my life.

 

The soft sound of heels comes from the staircase again and drifts into the carpeted hall. Sly, most likely, has already invited her gentleman friend up to her room. Shaking my head, I try to envision her as real, with real issues and fears, but the woman seems more like a warped Betty-Boop than anything else.

 

It’s not Sly. Something in the atmosphere changes, I smell lilacs. Slowly, so not to scare this imp away, I turn my head. A blonde goddess makes her way to me, her teal Grecian sundress moving like the sea with each step. The shopping bags she carries swish together breaking the audible silence, a task I am too awestruck to attempt.

 

“John?”

The sound of heels come from the staircase; I ignore them expecting Sly has come back. A flame sparks in the recesses of each of my senses prompting me to turn my head toward the soft clicks.  It’s all I can do to keep breathing. She glides across the gold carpet, her teal Grecian sundress bringing her to me as if she is floating on the sea. The shopping bags she carries swish together, making the scene all the more surreal.

 

“John?” She says, her steps ceasing once she is a mere seven or eight feet away. There is no apathy in her voice—surprise, and a hint of something else I can’t exactly decipher.

 

Slowly, I stand from the carpet. What should I say? I love her? She’s my world? She knows how I feel. I try to come up with something, but the only thing I do is stand there staring at her.

 

I watch her hazel eyes; slowly they begin to glaze with moisture. I open my mouth to speak, “Marlena….”

 

The bags fall from her hands—it’s relief I see on her face, and in her smile. Running to me, she throws her arms around my neck as she cries into the collar of my shirt.

 

I hold her in my arms like it’s been a decade since she’s been there. Closing my eyes, I absorb her. “I’ve missed you so much.” I whisper into her ear, kissing the side of her face.

 

She pulls back, distancing herself, so that I can see her face. I use my thumbs to wipe away her tears. “John, what are you doing here?” She smiles, glad that I am.

 

“I came to find you. Had to. You’re everything to me baby.” I take her hands in mine, playing with her fingers.

 

“I was…” She begins to laugh in irony. “Just about to leave to find you.”

 

“What?” Surprised, I blurt out.

 

“Yeah. I went to the mall, because I was trying to find the right outfit to show up at your door with. But you showed up at mine.” Her eyes sparkle, amused, and I know parts of her heart have begun to heal in these past weeks. “You remembered the Fairview?”

 

“Since you left, that’s all I’ve been able to think about…every conversation we ever had…every thing we did together.” I kiss her hand.

 

Her smile softens, her gaze becoming serious. “I’m sorry…” She begins but stops as a group of people, I expect are Sly’s friends, come from the stairs and enter the hall, their voices loud and obnoxious. “Let’s go inside.”

 

I watch her open the door. Normally, that loss of joy in her expression would bring me from heights to depths in an instant, but not now. No matter what fears she holds; I am not going to let them control our destiny any longer.  

 

Placing the bags at the foot of the bed, she sits down on it. She runs her hand over the gold comforter, while I pull out the desk chair to sit in. Biting her lip, she watches me, a look of longing in her hazels. “I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry that I ran out.”

 

“It’s okay.” I don’t know why I say it.

 

“No, it’s not.” She shakes her head. “I promised Mama that I wouldn’t shut down and lock you out. But I did it anyway.” She looks at the ceiling, and then her glistening eyes come back to meet mine. “I was afraid to love you. Afraid that I would lose you. That’s why I made such a big deal out of you and Red Cove. I’m should have accepted it.”

 

“I’m not fighting anymore. Turbo isn’t rebuilding Red Cove. I’m done with it.” I smile, surprising even myself, because it’s genuine—I’m happy and I have let it go as much as I can.

 

“I’m sorry John. I know that meant a lot to you.”

 

“You mean more to me than anything. And if I ever made you doubt that, I owe you a million apologizes.” I reach for her hand. She takes it, but pulls me until I am sitting beside her on the bed.

 

“There’s not a day I haven’t wished that you were here with me.” She places her hand on my face.

 

I take it, kissing it. “Will you make me a promise?”

 

“I don’t know.” She stands up moving away from me. “I’m not very good at keeping promises.”

 

I kick myself internally for being such an idiot and place both hands around her from behind. “You kept your promise to Leslie.”

 

She turns in my arms to face me, shaking her head. “It was the only thing she asked John.” Her voice cracks as she finishes her sentence.

 

I place both hands on her face, wiping her tears away, gently keeping her eyes on mine. “Unless, I’ve gotten all the signals crossed. You were coming back to find me. And you didn’t throw me out of the hotel when you saw me in the hall. Actually, you seem glad that I’m here.”

 

“I am glad that you’re here.” She whispers.

 

“And you promised that you wouldn’t give up on love. I don’t think you’ve done that. You promised that you wouldn’t shut down, and you aren’t shutting me out now. It may have took you a few weeks to follow through with it, but sweetheart, you kept your promise.”

 

Slowly, her eyes gleam from the realization, with small joy, but a joy nonetheless. “What do you want me to promise?”

 

Tenderly, I touch her cheek. “That from now on, whatever comes…we’ll face it together. Your fears. My fears. Whatever comes, we’ll work through it together.”

 

“Okay.” She says wiping her tears—then placing a hand on my face. “I promise.”

 

I pull her to me, our lips meeting in slow desperation.

 

Parting, she begins to speak as our foreheads rest against one another. “I don’t want to waste anymore time. I just want to make memories with you.”

 

Every dream I’ve ever had is realized in her words. We kiss soft and leisurely. As I break the kiss, she wraps her arms around my neck. “That’s all I want.”

 

“Good, because I lose this hotel room in the morning. And I’m afraid I’m going to have to crash at your place.” Winking, she kisses my neck.

 

“I’d love it if you crashed at my place. But…there’s one catch. I sold my apartment. I didn’t think you’d want to go back to L.A.”

 

She stops teasing my neck and looks at me. “I don’t. But I thought you would.”

 

“No. I want to be where you want to be.” I check my words, while she laughs.

 

“Well, I want to be with you.” She pokes me in the chest. “So, where do you want to be?”

 

“Do you like it here?” I know the answer before I ask.

 

Nodding, she adds. “Yeah. I do.”

 

“Let’s do it! Let’s find a place in Dallas.” I put my arms around her neck and kiss her lips quick. “And you’re going to find a college. SMU maybe?” Knowing, this is what she secretly wants I wait for her reply.

 

Smiling, she kisses my lips, lingering. “Maybe. And what are you going to do?”

 

“I’m going to get a job as a personal trainer.”

 

“For?”

 

“I think there’s a certain red-head who might have a nice set of clientele for me.” I finish with a smirk, but she is not at all jealous; instead, she laughs.

 

“Sly? You’re going to work for some of her friends?”

 

“Maybe.” I counter.

 

“Maybe, you should kiss me.” Her smile lights up, dazzling, as I move in to take her lips—tongues meeting tenderly, until I hear a moan come from her.

 

“Baby…” I begin only to be hushed by her finger tip on my lips.

 

“Shhh…I don’t want to talk anymore.” Her eyes transform to fiery amber. “I just want to show you how much I love you.”  

 

Raising an eyebrow, I wrap my arms around her, lifting her up. “How about I show you first?”

 

Laughing, she kisses my forehead. “Sounds like a plan.”

 

“Yeah?” I tease before kissing the top of chest which peeks out of her teal dress.

 

“Yes.” She breathes, and wraps her legs around my waist.

 

I back toward the bed, my knees collapsing as they meet it. I allow us to fall onto the mattress.

 

Marlena looks down at me, a goddess divine. Every cell in my body ignites as I skim her thighs, teasingly pushing the dress up to reveal more skin. She unbuttons my shirt, taking her time, never letting her hazels leave my gaze. Kissing my shoulder, she takes the shirt off.

 

Eliciting a screamish giggle from her, I roll us until I am on top. I finish her work and toss my shirt on the navy carpet. My eyes darken at the thought of her, gently I kiss her knees. As my fingers skim along, I push her dress up her body while she stretches her arms out above her. Kissing the newly exposed skin around her belly button, I trace my lips in a direct line upward, reaching her neck and finally the tip of her chin—underneath me her legs begin to writhe.

 

I watch her for a moment, committing her to memory. My soul speaks to tell her, everything will be alright. Though the ghost of fear lingers inside, happiness, even peace, is in her gaze for the first time since I’ve met her.

 

Noticing, she looks up at me with half-lidded eyes, gently raking her nails along the sides of my torso. “Promise me.”

 

“Promise you what baby?”

 

“Promise me that you’ll love me forever.” She whispers, bringing her arms up to wrap around my neck.

 

“Forever…and always Marlena.” Smiling, she pulls me to her, until our lips meet in beautiful perfection. This moment—the beginning of the life I have always dreamed of.

 

 

~ The End ~