Return of The White Knight – By Sandra B

The Escape

It was next to a miracle that his body could do as his mind commanded it to do… but he wasn’t about to question it… ‘Don’t think. Don’t feel. JUST MOVE, John.. just *keep* moving!! You have to keep on going, get away as fast as you can. There is nothing but the movement of your legs running… Yes, that’s it.. you can do it John! You have to get back home. Doc could be in more danger now than ever before!’ He was running blindly through a thick forest, it didn’t matter where at the moment as long as he was putting distance between himself and that madman’s lair.

All that mattered was getting away from that dark place, that place where he’d suffered so…  He had to keep running on legs that had no strength, with a body that had no energy, only the power of the will, but it was beginning to fail, the adrenaline flow slowing down, “So….tired, I’m so…tired.” He wanted to rest for just a second. ‘NO! you can’t think like that or he’ll find you, he’ll take you back, NO, JUST KEEP MOVING Dammit!!’ The man kept running endlessly through the woods, not caring that his bare skin and the soles of his feet were cut by branches, thistles, whatever he tore through in his haste to escape, and then at last, he found a place to hide. It was getting dark now and he could stay for a little while. ‘Just a little rest, please let me get a few minutes to catch my breath.’ “Please God!” he cried out in desperation, wondering if there even was a God. He’d prayed in vain so many times… maybe this time, he would get what he needed most, sanctuary.

Back in Salem USA:

Marlena Evans woke up in the middle of the night again with an overwhelming sense of fear and despair. Someone she knew and loved was suffering and needed her desperately, but who? She had experienced this same strange feeling several times over the past two and half years, and each time it felt as if it were John’s soul crying out for help, and yet he was alive and well. During the trial she had attributed it to his despair at being jailed unjustly, but it had started again recently at a time when he had a healthy newborn son and a new….wife. Oh how she hated to think of him married to that evil….witch Kristen Dimera. ‘He seems..happy even though he still loves me, so why am I having this strange feeling again, like he needs my help so desperately?’ She tried to dismiss it as her love for him and the knowledge that he felt anguished when she had heard him praying about giving her up to honor his vows.

Marlena went back to sleep after convincing herself there was no reason for her concern and soon was completely out again. She dreamed of a reunion with John, a tearful one in which all the wounds were healed and they would be happy forever with no evil Dimera family members lurking around to spoil it for them. Then deep in her sleep she felt it again and this time there was a weary voice crying out, “DOC, help me Doc! I need you, please… find me here!”

She sat bolt upright in bed, “JOHN!” Oh my God, it *is* John, he’s in trouble and he needs me, but I don’t understand how that can be? I just saw him today at the hospital and he seemed so happy, the baby was just given a complete bill of health and we spent time with Belle and Brady. So why was there such fear and pain in his voice in my dream? She tried to fall back to sleep, but couldn’t put the sound of his anguished cries out of her mind, and was sorely tempted to give him a call even though it was 4:00 in the morning.

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“Okay, John you have to get up now, you’ve rested as long as you can afford to, you have to get to a phone somehow and call for help.” He had to admit it to himself that he did not have the strength to make it back to Salem on his own power. He had been held too long without adequate nutrition or proper rest and appropriate physical activity. He was so weak from what the evil bastard had done to his body and mind, he had to get help soon or Stefano would find him and put him back in that…hellhole. The fear was overpowering… “No, he can never find me, I can’t go back there, I have to get away. PLEASE GOD! let me find a phone.. soon.” He dragged his emaciated, exhausted body off the ground of the abandoned barn and somehow got himself to run again. He was leaving under the last cover of night and prayed he would find what he was seeking very soon, for he knew his last reserves of energy were being used quickly. And if he stopped again….

It was 5:00am and she had finally fallen asleep at last, that last hour or so was always such a peaceful sleep for her. She was jolted awake by the shrill ringing of the telephone and she hesitated to answer, but knew it might be important so she reluctantly picked it up. “Hello?” ‘I certainly hope you have a good reason for calling,’ she thought as she waited for the other person to speak. When there was a sound, it was so faint, so distant and she wondered if it were a prank call for a moment, until she heard the desperate voice.

“Doc…it’s me, I need your… help.” The voice was so….weak, so faint as to be barely audible. “Who is this, I can hardly hear you?”

“Doc, it’s me, it’s John… I got away.. but.. I can’t.. make it home, I’m….tired, Doc.. so tired….” His strength was fading fast and he was about to collapse; he had to fight to remain standing.

She could not believe her ears, it was John and he sounded as if he were completely exhausted and in pain, but how? ‘Don’t think about all that Marlena, help him.’ She told herself before asking, “John is that really you? Where are you?”

He took a long time to respond, “I…..don’t know, somewhere.. outside New Orleans, I think. Oh…” he groaned and fought back a wave of pain.. he had to tell her where he was… “…there’s a place near route 29…abandoned barn..” He had to work so hard to think to get the words out, “Doc, call Abe and come soon or he’ll…” His voice filled with fear, “He’ll find me.. and put me back in that…dungeon! Please hurry…so tired… weak.” That was all he could do… he dropped the receiver and collapsed, praying as he faded out that it was enough and that she would come for him.

“John, oh no….don’t hang up, John… keep talking to me, John! Stay with me, JOHN!” Oh my God, this means that….Oh God! I have to call Abe,” she said to herself, as she prepared to call her friend, still thinking about how exhausted John sounded and wondering how it was even possible….

Abe and Lexie were just beginning to awaken and began to kiss each other passionately as the phone rang. “Oh perfect timing,” said Lexie resentfully, knowing it was probably one of their jobs intruding yet again.

“Carver, here.” Abe listened and then said, “Marlena, please calm down. Now you know that’s impossible. John is safe and sound here in Salem, and living at the Mansion with Kristen.”

She wasn’t in the mood to argue; her spirit knew what was true. “No, Abe I’m telling you it was him and he needs our help right now! I don’t care what you think, I could feel his pain and fear of Stefano. Somehow he was held all this time and I’m going down there to help him, whether you come with me or not!” She was angry at Abe, but part of her understood his reaction. It didn’t matter though; she had to help John. She loved him more than she had ever loved anyone, and she knew in her heart and soul that the man who had called was the real John Black, and that he needed her more at this particular moment than ever before. Whether it appeared to be irrational or not she was compelled to go to Louisiana and find him.

Realizing there was no point in contradicting her, Abe agreed, wanting to protect her from any harm that might come her way if it were an elaborate trick perpetrated by Dimera. “Okay, Marlena I can tell that you’re serious about this, and if you insist on going down there, I’ll go with you. You could be putting yourself in such danger. This could all be some kind of a ruse to get you down there…. maybe it was one of Stefano’s people luring you away from Salem again, using John’s voice….”

She was angry that he didn’t trust her instincts, “No, Abe! The man who called was John Black, the *real* one and he needs us, now!”

The Kindness of Strangers

Joe and Martha Jackson arrived at their little gas station/quick mart at the same time as usual, but found something unusual had happened. The front door had been broken into and they immediately went to the cash register, but thankfully found nothing missing except a few quarters. Next, they checked to see if any of the expensive machinery or tools had been stolen, and all was in place.

They walked completely around the station, breathing a collective sigh of relief, since everything looked fine. But then as Martha sat down in the little office area to make the phone call to the police, she saw him; the sight of anyone would have scared her, but this was awful.… She screamed, terrified by what she saw, and Joe came running in to determine what was wrong. Martha just pointed to the floor where there was a man lying on his side. The man was obviously injured or sick as he lay in an awkward position, as if he had fallen and never regained consciousness since then. They were afraid he was dead, he was so thin and had clearly been badly beaten on more than one occasion. When they checked him out more closely, he was barely breathing, his pulse very faint. He was barefoot, extremely dirty, and he wore torn, tattered clothing; he was unshaven and therefore it was hard to see his face. Something horrible had happened to this man, that much was clear to see. But, who was he and why was he in their gas station? Somehow they had the feeling he was a good man and that they should help him. The couple called old Doc Benton and asked him to come to the house which was just a short distance away. Then they picked up the limp body of the injured man, who never did wake up as they carried him to and from their pickup truck, and placed him in the guest bedroom of their old country home.

Within two hours, Marlena and Abe were on their way to New Orleans having taken Belle with them. The nanny went along as did several uniformed off-duty policemen for her protection when Marlena and Abe went to search for John. It was so strange to think that the man who had been living in Salem these past three years was not the man they both loved and that Stefano had held the real John Black for all this time. Actually, it was horrifying and so they didn’t tell anyone what they were doing, both making arrangements to appear to have gone away to separate places. There would be time for all of that later. Right now, they had to concentrate on finding John and helping him; he was obviously very weak, and presumably injured and/or sick as a result of his long ordeal.

Neither wanted to discuss their fears for him. Instead, they sat on the airplane in quiet contemplation of what was ahead for all of them, wondering how it could possibly be that John had been held at Maison Blanche all this time, while they thought he was right there in their midst. Stefano had gone to elaborate means to fool them, even staging the man’s near death in the gas chamber in Aremid and execution in a guillotine in Paris. How cruel that Dimera evil plan had been, but the most interesting aspect was Kristen; she had to believe she was with John, when it was someone else entirely. Marlena couldn’t help but enjoy that little irony. Kristen had lied, schemed and manipulated her way into John’s life when it wasn’t even him. The joke was definitely on her now. Marlena was going to find the real John Black and then they would have a chance at the happiness Kristen thought she had stolen from them.

As her mind reviewed the events from nearly three years earlier, Marlena acknowledged that she knew somehow, deep inside her heart that John still loved her. And, although she had wanted to reconcile with Roman at the time, she had seen what John was willing to suffer for her at Maison Blanche. She remembered quite vividly the agony and the love she saw in his eyes that night he ate the drugged food offered by Stefano. John would have died or suffered anything for a chance at her freedom. And then she risked her safety and virtue for a chance at his. This mutual self-sacrifice was an obvious indication of the depth of feeling shared between them and should logically have led to a romantic love relationship, but that had not happened and now she had a better understanding of why it hadn’t. John did not come home with her, it had been an imposter, probably another poor soul brainwashed and then used in the sick master plan of Stefano’s to hurt John, Marlena, Roman and the Brady’s. ‘Oh, John hold on honey, we’re coming for you.’ “I love you, John” she said quietly, hoping he could sense her feelings and hear her words of encouragement somehow.

Abe was doing some silent calculating himself, trying to figure out how in the hell Stefano could have pulled this one off. ‘Okay…John gets out of the dungeon with some supernatural strength to pull the chains out of the wall, there’s smoke everywhere, Roman finds them and John goes after Stefano.’ How did he have a chance to exchange someone else for the real John. Wait, there was a period when he passed out and Marlena wasn’t with him and then she passed out for awhile when the fire started. Maybe he came in and changed them at that time. Or maybe just before Roman arrived, one Stefano’s men did it on his order. And how could all of us have been so completely fooled? Never mind that, it was just too confusing to put it together, nearly impossible to comprehend. The important thing was to find John and help him recover and then to nail the bastard for what he had done to Abe’s best friend. “All this time…I’m so sorry I didn’t know buddy. I should have figured it out and come for you. Oh please let him be alright!” Abe didn’t know he had said the last sentence or so out loud, not until Marlena said something similar.

“Abe, why? Why didn’t we know he was here? He must have felt so alone, so.. helpless and all that time… Stefano probably did such… horrible things to him…” She had kept all the tears inside and felt herself ready to let the dam go and then held it back, her anger kicking in, “Abe, we have to find John and make that BASTARD pay for what he’s done!!”

Abe came over to her side of the plane, and held her as a gesture of comfort, saying, “We will find him and help him recover from this madness and then…” He stopped, feeling his heart fill with rage for what John had probably been subjected to during years. “Then Stefano will pay dearly, for what he put John and all of us through! And if that….imposter was more than another helpless pawn, he will pay too. I swear to you, Marlena, I will never let that evil monster hurt you and John again.”

Doctor Samuel Benton had arrived about half an hour after he received the phone call and was examining the injured man, speaking into a small tape recorder as he went along. “This man has been subjected to some horrible maltreatment and deplorable living conditions. He is seriously malnourished with weight approximately 20-30% below what is to be expected for his height, his body is covered with multiple contusions, cuts and abrasions, none of which have been adequately healed due to insufficient nutrition and hydration, and appalling lack of humane treatment. There are signs of drug abuse although it appears he did not inject himself, as some of the needle marks are in places he would not have been able to reach if he wanted to do so, such as in the muscles of his upper back, just below the shoulders. Patient has countless horizontal and criss crossing marks on his back as if whipped repeatedly, although most are old scars now. There are indications of significant repeated head trauma. He has obviously not had access to proper dental care or good hygiene and there are several different types of skin irritations, some more serious than others. It appears that he was held in shackles as there are deep grooves in the skin around his ankles and wrists, some from old scarring, some from fresh cuts. He has obviously not been wearing shoes and his feet appear to be damaged from regular contact with a hard surface without benefit of that cushion. It seems he must have escaped on foot from wherever he was held as there are new injuries to the soles of his feet. The exposed surface of his skin is also badly scraped as if he was running wildly through the forest and underbrush during his escape from captivity. He was not wearing a shirt or coat of any kind so his upper body took the brunt of the gauntlet. In my opinion, this man is in serious need of medical attention and he must be hospitalized immediately in order to recover properly.”

After making the recording, Doctor Benton turned to his friends and said, “He’s in pretty bad shape and he needs to be admitted to the local hospital. I’ll make the arrangements. Thank you for calling me on this; there are bound to be people looking for him, and this is definitely a matter for the police.”

Though his nameless patient had not given any indication that any of the doctor’s ministrations had registered, this conversation obviously did. “NO! Please! No hospital, he’ll find me there, Please! No hospital, no police! He owns them and he’ll come and take me back there!” he pleaded, his eyes struggling to open. The man was terrified and the doctor was convinced by the sound of nearly overwhelming fear in his patient’s voice, to respond affirmatively. There was something endearing about him and the other three looked back and forth at each other and then told him what he so desperately needed to hear.

“Okay, mister, we won’t take you to the hospital, but you have to promise to do everything Doc says so you can get well again,” said Martha. That last phrase garnered a strong reaction for a reason these three had no way of understanding.

“Doc, where’s Doc? Is she here? We have to find her and make sure she’s okay! Please…promise you’ll find her and take care of her!” He was becoming agitated and there was tremendous fear in the man’s voice and in his trembling body. Whatever this poor soul suffered, it was absolutely horrifying and there was obviously a woman he cared about involved to some degree.

The old doctor felt a rapidly growing concern for this vulnerable, traumatized man and he vowed he would do anything he could to help the young man recover and find the woman about whom he was so concerned. He administered a sedative so the man could get a restful sleep, which he had obviously not often been given the opportunity to do. Doc Benton and the others watched him as he lapsed into a deep and hopefully healing slumber and then they left him to it, going downstairs to talk.

“Doc Benton, what could have happened to him to cause all those terrible injuries and make him so afraid?” asked Martha as they entered the living room of their spacious farmhouse.

“Yea, he looks like a prisoner of war back from Vietnam like I seen on TV,” said Joe, thinking back to a documentary he’d seen a few days earlier.

“Well that’s about right Joe. I suspect someone held that man prisoner for a very long time and he just now escaped, and that is why he was in your store this morning. He probably tried to use the phone, you said it was off the hook, right? Maybe the people who’ve been missing him are already on their way to find him.”

“I sure hope so, Doc… he seems so sad and scared. He needs to be with the people who love him so he can get better,” said Martha, praying there were some. As they finished talking about the issue, the doctor turned to leave.

Doctor Benton turned back and said, “Listen, I’m going to gather all the supplies I’ll need to care for him here at the house. Stay put, and whatever you do, don’t tell anyone about him being here. For some reason I trust that he is good man treated wrongly, and if he’s afraid of the police and the hospital, we should respect that. I will come and go under the cover of night so as not to arouse suspicions, is that okay with you?”

The couple exchanged glances and said, “Sure, Doc Benton you do whatever you think is best. We trust your judgement. We just want to take care of him and help him get back to wherever he’s from…..poor man.”

Searching for John

Marlena and Abe went toward the edge of town where the route number John had described was located, and found a motel where they checked in, then got Belle and the nanny settled before going out to canvas the area. They spent several hours driving around the area searching for any abandoned barns since John had mentioned one when he called. They saw one very near a route marker and thought it might be the one to which he was referring. It was a mile or so away from a small country gas station/quick mart, which was sort of out of the way and they didn’t think much of it at first. As they slowly made their way back to the barn, they could see broken down bushes and tree branches bent as if…as if someone had run wildly through the area. There were small fragments of cloth in several different places nearby. This had to be the barn he was talking about. ‘Oh Lord please let him be safe inside,’ asked Marlena silently as she stepped near to it.

Abe opened the broken down door to look inside, and they soon saw that it was empty. Upon closer examination, they could tell someone had been there as there were fresh markings in the dirt floor, and then Marlena caught a glimpse of something shiny. It was a ring, John’s ring. She would have recognized it anywhere and she recalled an odd conversation about it when John…no not John had said he had lost that ring. “Abe, this is John’s ring! I’d recognize it anywhere, the other….he said he lost it. John was here, I’m sure of it!” she exclaimed as held the ring out for Abe to see.

Taking the ring from her finger, her friend began to realize that it could be true after all. “Marlena, my God it’s true! He *has* been held by Stefano all this time. There was a part of me that didn’t want to believe it. Stefano alive, and all this time since Paris, we thought he was dead.” He softened his tone and said, “Marlena, it’s been so long, you know, John.. he may be… Oh never mind we’ll deal with all of that once we find him.”

She felt the same concern, “Abe, I know… John is probably very weak and malnourished….” She shuddered as the image of him lying on that dungeon floor shackled to the wall came to mind and had to banish it swiftly or the fear would overwhelm her. “I just can’t think about all of that right now. We just have to find him and get him to safety and then provide whatever he needs to recover.”

Taking her by the hand, Abe indicated there was no time to waste, “Okay, then let’s go and find him!” They left to search for where he might have made the phone call. After driving around the area for several hours with no success, they decided to take a break and get a bite to eat.

Joe and Martha took turns watching the unidentified man, who continued to sleep throughout the entire day. He seemed so vulnerable and yet it was obvious that he had once been a strong, muscular man. Martha had taken the torn, soiled clothes off his filthy body then tenderly washed him up, and shaved his face. Following that she cut his hair as best she could. She had been a nurse’s aide by trade and currently had a small beautician shop she ran on Saturdays in her small country town. She had a gentle soothing voice and touch, which seemed to calm him when he became fearful of the contact with his skin. Whatever it was he had suffered had obviously been horrifying, as he periodically called out in his sleep saying things like, “No, please don’t take my memories again! Oh please don’t make me watch this anymore! Stop making her cry, I’ll do anything you want, I swear it! No stop, Oh God… it hurts!”

After cleaning him up and getting a t-shirt and under shorts on him, she pulled the blankets up around his sleeping form and then Martha sat nearby and soothed him with her soft singing voice when he seemed troubled and agitated. Each time, he fell back into a more restful sleep and she felt good about at least being able to do something to ease his present suffering. “Oh, you poor man, I hope the people who love you are on their way here to find you,” she said to herself. “I think you’ll need them more than ever.”

It was not long before she received an anxious phone call from Joe who said he saw a limousine driving around the area and he had gotten an uncomfortable feeling when the car drove up and down the road in front of the store. She resolved to hide the man if there were any reason to suspect that the people in the limo were after him. She continued to get the feeling he was a good man who had endured more than his fair share of pain, and she committed herself and Joe to protecting him from any more. The house had a secret cellar that was not visible on cursory inspection. One had to know it was there or do a very thorough search of the house, so if there were any reason to be concerned, they would move the injured man down there for as long as necessary.

Two hours later, it became crucial, as there were two men from the limousine asking around the store and the gas station about a man who had escaped from prison and he fit the description. They wanted to know how the window had been broken at the station, and Joe had come up with a quick excuse he hoped they believed. Soon it was time for the dinner break and Joe closed up shop as usual and headed home, where he was greeted by his wife, who wanted him to help her move their guest into the cellar. They had no idea what this environment would do to him because they did not know how or under what conditions he had been imprisoned.         

A short time later, John was settled onto a cot in the dark cellar and was still sleeping, peacefully…. they thought, as they sat down to eat dinner. A bloodcurdling scream pierced the relative silence of their household, “NO!! NO!!! Not again! OH GOD HELP ME!! Somebody help me, PLEASE!!”

The couple jumped out of their seats to reach his side in seconds, wondering what in the world had gotten him so upset. They did all they could think of to calm him down and nothing worked. He was thrashing wildly and crying out irrationally. “Help me… please help me…somebody take me home… gotta go home… Doc! DOC!!” he cried out over and over again… Thankfully, Doctor Benton arrived shortly after the outburst began and he found them and was able to administer another sedative. The man fell instantly back on the cot and the three of them breathed more easily.

“Wow! What was that all about I wonder?” asked Martha.

The doctor said, “He was probably just reliving the experiences and something about this cellar reminded him of the place he was held. From the color of his skin I would say he has not been outdoors for a very long time, chances are he was kept in a cool dark place like your cellar.”

“Doc, we would never have brought him down here if we thought it would cause him to get so upset like this, we’re very sorry,” said Joe apologetically, feeling sorry for the poor man.       

Martha agreed, “Yes, the only reason we moved him is because of a limousine that was driving up and down the street by the station and the two men who were snooping around asking about a man they said escaped from prison, which Joe didn’t believe at all. We thought he would be safer here in case the men came to the house looking for him.”

Nodding his head with understanding, the doctor commended them, “Well, I’d say you did the only thing possible to protect him and you had no way of knowing he would have such a strong reaction to the darkness.”

The couple smiled at that as they really wanted to help this young man who so desperately needed someone to care for him. They went on up the stairs and left the doctor to treat his patient’s multiple problems.

Doctor Benton was able to more thoroughly examine and treat the man since he had to leave earlier and then had several emergencies to handle before coming back to see him. Benton did not want anyone to know he had a special patient. What he saw now that the terribly injured man had been bathed and partially clothed in cotton undergarments was astonishing. It was hard to believe that the man had survived what had been done to him.

Almost the entire surface of his body had been wounded at one time or another, scars everywhere; there were deep multi-colored bruises that had probably been there for months. The physician was powerfully reminded of the importance of good nutrition for the healing process to happen properly. The man was almost emaciated, his face gaunt, his ribs easily visible under the skin, a once strong musculature weakened by the lack of food, water and exercise. The angry raised marks left from shackles and whips reminded him of scenes from old movies and the prisons of the old South he recalled from his boyhood days. He was angered, outraged that this kind of pain could be inflicted on one human being by another and he wept silently for the man’s suffering, vowing to do whatever possible to help the victim of hideous atrocities begin to recover and to find out where he belonged.

Mrlena and Abe had gotten something to eat, taken a rest and played with Belle for awhile and then headed back out to search for John. They came back around the area of the barn and then spotted the station down the side road. Abe drove up and looked around for signs of life, but there were none. They got out and took a look for any sign that John might have been there. Fortunately he saw the tape over the hole in the front door of the gas station. “Marlena, you said John didn’t call collect, didn’t you? Look, he might have called from here,” he said pointing to the taped area near the door.

Rushing over to take a closer look, Marlena felt a glimmer of hope, “Abe, you’re probably right, it’s not far from the barn and he could have made it here, but then why isn’t he at the barn now?” Fear started to rear its ugly head again, as a possible answer came to mind, “Oh God, Abe… what if…. No, I can’t think that way, but Abe, we have to find him soon or Stefano’s people will.”

Grasping her slender shoulders between his strong confident hands, her friend willed her to have faith, “Marlena, we will find him, you have to believe that. If John was able to get this far after so long, chances are he was able make it to safety somewhere. We just have to figure out where that is.”

She stifled the fearful tears, but said nothing as the two of them got back into the car and drove a little further down that road. Before long, they spied the country house on the hill and wondered if the people had seen anything or if John might have tried to get help nearby. Marlena said, “Abe, I just have this feeling we should knock on that door and ask whoever lives there if they have seen anything. What do you think?” she said nervously, tearing her gaze away from the house. She had a gut feeling about it.

Abe nodded and almost allowed a smile to cross the concerned features of his warm brown face. “I was just going to say the same thing if you can believe it,” he said to confirm her reaction. “So, what are we waiting for?”


Tears at First Sight

John was still resting comfortably under the effects of the sedative as Doctor Benton began to treat his wounds. The physician put soothing topical ointment on his patient’s numerous skin sores and re-bandaged John’s feet. He used another medicated ointment on the ragged cuts and scrapes all over his patient’s upper body from his wild run to safety, putting bandages where necessary and leaving some open to the air. Then, the physician administered some subcutaneous antibiotic medication to ward off the infections he was sure were just waiting to take hold if there weren’t already some in existence in the man’s depleted body. He also hung a bag of IV pain medication and liquid nutrition as it was obvious the patient’s stomach capacity had been reduced from the long term deprivation. It would be a long while before he could consume adequate calories to supply his needs by eating. In addition, there were so many injuries that only time would heal and the kindly doctor wished there were more he could do for this young unfortunate young man. He also knew that there were tests that needed to be performed to search for internal problems not visible on physical examination. But that would have to wait until Doctor Benton could get a hold of some of the proper syringes, test tubes, etc and find a discreet way to have them analyzed. “Oh, would that modern medicine could do something for the invisible wounds and scars you have from your ordeal, son,” he said sadly as he turned to go up the stairs and give instructions to the Jackson’s.

As the doctor was telling them about when to change the IV’s, advising them to check for blood in his urine, when to apply the various medications, how to look for signs of head injury or internal injuries that hadn’t yet been exhibited, etc the doorbell rang surprising them all. They about jumped out of their skin as Martha glanced back and forth and then moved to answer it. She greeted the strangers with kindness, “Hello what can we do you for?” she asked nicely.

Marlena answered with deceptive calm, “Hi, I’m Doctor Marlena Evans and this is Commander Abe Carver. We are from Salem, Illinois and we’re looking for someone we love very much who has been missing for a long time. We have reason to believe he was in this area within the past 24 hours. Here’s his picture, do you recognize him?”

Martha took one look at the handsome smiling man holding a small baby girl and little boy and knew instantly that it was their new guest, as did the other two. There was some essence of him that came through in the man’s eyes, though outwardly the injured man looked nothing like the one in the picture, because of his debilitated state. However, all three were able to keep that knowledge from their faces until such time as they could trust that these strangers were telling the truth. So, she said, “Well, I’m not really sure about that, why don’t you come on in and tell me about this fellow, and then maybe we can help you look for him, we know this area very well.”

Marlena smiled warmly and hopefully at the woman and said, “Thank you. We will be glad to tell you about him and why we think he might be nearby.”

Abe nodded and just said, “Yes, Thank you for taking the time with us this evening.”

The five of them sat down to talk. Marlena wasted no time telling them the short version of John’s battles with Stefano Dimera, recounting in more detail the Maison Blanche ordeal that they thought ended almost three years earlier. She then told them about the phone call she had just received, including the specifics about where John said he was calling from. Martha, Joe and Doctor Benton exchanged questioning glances again and then the doctor nodded at Martha to tell them about their patient.

“Well, from listening to you talk, it certainly seems as though you really do care about this.. John Black, is it?”

Marlena nodded anxiously… she could barely contain herself at this point, sensing something was about to be revealed. “Oh, yes we do. I….love him very much and I’ve been worried sick about him ever since I received the phone call in the middle of the night.”

Abe agreed, “He is my best friend and I am very concerned for his safety from that evil monster who has caused him so much pain and suffering in this life. Please if you know something |that will help us, can you tell us now?”

They waited on pins and needles and then she said it, “There is someone we’d like you to see, he just might be your friend. But I have to warn you…. he looks nothing like the strong handsome man in this picture. He is quite thin, very pale, and extremely weak… To be honest, he looks like a lot like a prisoner of war…. so be prepared for quite a shock.”

Marlena felt tears welling up in her eyes already at the mere thought of seeing him badly hurt, remembering how it had been at Maison Blanche when she was there with him. “Thank you.. for the warning,” was all she said, however, fighting back a tide of worry.

The doctor agreed, “Yes, he is on IV medication and nutrition. I’ve administered sedatives since we found him so that he could get some rest, something he will need a lot of for quite awhile. We didn’t take him to a hospital at his strong request because of the man you just told us about. He was very fearful of being taken back to wherever he was being held if we reported this criminal mistreatment to the police.” Abe and Marlena traded knowing looks about that… John’s fear was very real. Marlena gave them her approval, her anxiety threatening to take over, “We understand… thank you for protecting him…. Now, please.. just let us see him.”

The three small town people led the kind, concerned strangers down to the cellar after explaining about the limousine sighting earlier. Before entering, Marlena sent up a quick prayer of thanks and then made herself look at him even as she gasped at the sight. She forced herself to pull back the blankets and really look at his body. Tears flooded out of her eyes and she felt herself about to be physically ill as she saw how pale, thin, and terribly battered he looked. His eyes were sunken in, dark circles underneath them… his cheeks were hollow and he was a mass of multi-colored bruises, welts, and cuts now bandaged… “Oh, my God, John! I’m so sorry we didn’t know you were still here, honey.” There was such anguish in her tearful voice as she knelt down to hold his bruised hand in hers. He was hardly recognizable to her in the shape he was in. All she could do was sit there on the ground and hold his hand and caress his cheek as she cried for all that he had obviously endured while they went on with their lives, another man having taken his place.

Even Abe was sickened to see his friend in such horrible condition… looking so vulnerable, so wounded… and said so, “Oh, John, buddy… I’m so sorry too. We should have known somehow, what you were suffering all alone here.” He felt the rage building, “If Dimera is still alive we will make him pay as well as anybody else in his organization who had a part in your pain, I promise you, my friend!”

The others left them alone after the doctor filled Marlena in on the details of John’s condition thus far. He let her know that there were so many other things to watch for yet, since he had not been able to do any formal test procedures, etc. They assured him that his patient would receive the finest of medical treatment once they got him home where he belonged.

Both Abe and Marlena sat with him until the effects of the most recent sedative wore off and he started to come around. He felt the darkness surrounding him again and started to cry out, “No! Please help me get away, somebody please….”

Marlena held his hand firmly and said, “John, shh it’s okay. You’re safe now, he can’t hurt you anymore…shh….” He had no idea who had spoken, he was so disoriented and frightened by the darkness that surrounded him, “No, don’t lie to me, he came and saw me again. He always finds me when I try to get away, and he’ll.. take me back there.. and he… he beats me… when he finds me! He’ll punish me….” Then John’s anxious talk changed directions, “He.. he told me Doc was very unhappy and she would be so vulnerable now. He’s going to take her… Please, you have to help her!”

He was still worried about her more than anything else. Here he was practically at death’s door and he was concerned about her safety. “Oh… John, honey… it’s Marlena, I’m here with you now. It’s going to be okay.” Holding his hand, she brought it to her lips for a soft moist kiss, willing him to comprehend her words and take comfort in her presence.

John was still very groggy and had no idea where he was at the moment and he spoke in soft mournful tones, “Oh…I must be dreaming, I love when I dream of her because it’s the only time I feel good. I love Doc more than ever now, but we can’t be together…. She thinks I’m there in Salem, everybody does….I wish I could go home… but he said.. I’ll never see her again…” He was beginning to fade away and his voice sounded so empty and filled with hopeless loneliness.

She couldn’t stop crying as she looked at him and wondered just how badly he’d been treated, her heart fighting what her mind knew to be true. John was in terrible condition and he was physically and emotionally traumatized by such unthinkable abuse. “John, oh John.. please come back to me. I’m here…. and I *love* you John Black! Wake up and see me here with you now!” She was quite animated and he shrank away from the intensity in her voice, a soft whimper escaping to indicate his fear. She was instantly sorry she had done it when she saw his reaction. ‘My God what has been done to him all this time?’ she asked without speaking.

Bursting into tears, she cried for him, shaking her head, saying, “Oh Abe, this is…just so…horrible! I can’t stand to see him this way!” She had to leave the area for a few minutes to regain her composure so as not to frighten him again.

Abe sat down next to John for awhile; looking at his friend, he felt rage building again for the torture and mind control to which he must have been subjected. “Hey, buddy we’re going to take good care of you and make sure you get home safe and sound. Don’t you worry about a thing.”

His mind still couldn’t accept the reality of what was happening because hope had been used against him so many times before. He rocked his body forward and backward speaking almost absently, “No, I’m never going home, he told me I would die here… He shows me tapes of Salem, the kid’s birthday parties, Doc and….him playing with Belle and Brady in the park. Sometimes it feels like I’m back there again, but my life goes on without me and he says now I know how it was for Roman. I should have.. fought harder the first time….” John stopped talking abruptly, lapsed into blessed unconsciousness again, slumping back on the cot. Marlena heard what he had said and as she covered her mouth with her hands she burst into tears again. “Abe, he’s so thin and weak and his mind, who knows what the Bastard did to him all this time! I’m afraid Abe. Oh God I’m so afraid for him!”

They left him to sleep and made the arrangements for transportation by helicopter to Salem University Hospital under the strictest of security clearances. They were to drive fifty miles with him in the rental car to an air field where they would board a medical helicopter for the trip home. Back home, they called only essential people: Mike and Laura Horton who would evaluate and treat him and Bo Brady who would coordinate the high level of security needed. Others would be told when it was decided how to handle the matter of the imposter. They had no way of knowing whether he was dangerous because John could not tell them what he knew in his confused and weakened state. What he told them would make all the difference in the world in how they handled the situation.


The Trip Home

Marlena and Martha stood back as Joe, Abe and Doctor Benton carefully placed John into the back of the rental car. Martha wanted to say something to make Marlena feel a little better about the situation she faced with the man she obviously loved very deeply. “Marlena, I…just want to tell you that it’s clear he loves you very much and he has called out for you a lot. He calls you Doc doesn’t he?”

She smiled in spite of her fear, “Yes, it’s…an old nick name he has known me by for a very long time. Only he and one other person have called me that.” She thought back over the years and how she had loved both those two men so completely, yet so differently. One was adorable and sweetly romantic and so…protective, stubborn, sometimes rigid, and a wonderful compassionate lover. The other was also fiercely protective, sometimes brash and impulsive, fiery tempered, and yet so tender, romantic and considerate at times her heart melted. He tended to blame himself for the pain of others whether true or not. And he was an incredible lover who moved her beyond words. She had given her heart to each of them and all three of them had suffered for that truth. ‘Oh John, my heart does belong to you now. Marlena thought how odd it was that she had come to a full recognition of her love for John when it was not him who was near her, but someone else masquerading or… what? She didn’t really know. I did love Roman, but he made his choice and now you are the only one I want and need. “Please God bring him all the way back from where that….bastard took him.”

She stood there silently watching them load him gently into the car and continued to pray for his recovery. It was still so shocking to think that the man she had.. loved in Salem was not the real John. All those times when he looked at me with such unfulfilled desire, with love he felt he couldn’t share, when his touch had sent shivers throughout her body. How could I have been fooled again? All those times in Aremid when he was so scared, but tried to hide it from her; the moment of saying goodbye to the kids. It was too real, he couldn’t have been faking that emotion. No, she wouldn’t believe he had been acting and yet? Who was he and what was his agenda? Could it all have been some elaborate plan of Stefano’s to get Marlena back by making her give up completely on John’s love? Was the man just another tortured soul manipulated by the madman? ‘Oh, it’s all so confusing. I hope John can give us some answers when he begins to recover or we’ll never know I suspect.’ She couldn’t concentrate on all that now. She had to focus on this man, the real John Black whom she loved more than anything or anyone on earth.

She and Abe were ready to get in the car and Marlena turned from her thoughts to thank these wonderful people who had helped him the way they had. “Martha, Joe, Dr. Benton… there are no words to tell you how much it means to all of us what you have done for John. He might have died if it weren’t for your help. Martha, I know you were the one who bathed and dressed him and sat with him…” She had to stop as she thought of what the woman had done for a total stranger in great need. Barely holding back the tears, her voice broke as she said, “Thank you so very much for taking such good care of him.”

Martha blushed and said, “Somehow I knew he was a good man and he needed someone to care for him until….you could come for him and so did Joe and Doc Benton here. No thanks are needed.”

Marlena moved in to give the woman a hug and said it again, “Thank you.” Then Abe shook the men’s hands giving his thanks as well and they were off and running, hoping Stefano’s people had not a clue where John was now. They left at night so as not to be easily seen. As they drove away it was in darkness, no lights but the ones meant for parking until far enough away as not to give away where they had started. They went back to the motel to meet up with the nanny, Belle and the policemen who followed them to the airstrip in the other rental car. Belle rode in an airplane with the nanny and the cops because Marlena thought seeing John would be very confusing and traumatic for her. They needed to help him begin to recover and decide what to do about the other man before telling anyone except those absolutely essential to his recovery and security.

John was out for quite awhile, but started to awaken as they hit some rough spots in the road just before getting to the airstrip. “Oh..what’s happening?”

She soothed him with her voice, “Shh, it’s okay John. You’re still safe.” That satisfied him for the moment and he drifted off again until they loaded him into the helicopter. The jostling was obviously painful and he groaned in response and struggled to wake up all the way, wanting to understand what was going on. “Stop, please.. it hurts….” He felt very disoriented as he was lifted onto a gurney and secured in the helicopter. The paramedic told him what was happening, “John, you’re being loaded onto a helicopter. You’re hurt and we’re moving you to a hospital where you will be taken care of, okay?”

It seemed to help a little as he stopped calling out and fighting it. Then he said, “Okay.” He calmed down while they took his vital signs and reality was beginning to register. Then he became anxious again without warning. “Hurry, we have to hurry, he’ll find us and take me back there, like he always does! Please let’s go now!”

Just as he was uttering these anxious words Abe, who still stood outside the chopper spotted a black limousine coming towards them at a very high rate of speed. It had to be Stefano’s people, but how? Abe alerted the paramedics and pilot and moved to help Marlena into the chopper quickly.

Marlena stepped in to help calm John down, “John, it’s Marlena… we’re safe and soon we’ll be back in Salem and we will get you the care you need, honey.” It finally sunk in that the love of his life was actually with him, “Doc? are you really here with me?” he asked as they lifted off the ground. Abe was still watching the limo, which had come so close to stopping them. Two men jumped out of the vehicle and aimed high powered guns toward them, but thankfully the helicopter was out of range already. “Whew!” said Abe quietly while making mental note that they would have to make sure the security in Salem was tighter than ever before if they were to protect John now. If indeed he was still alive, Stefano would be angry at having his master plan to take Marlena foiled again by his prisoner’s escape, if that’s what was in the works.

“Yes, John I’m here with you and you’re going to be safe from now on. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

John wanted to believe it, but he had hoped so many times to get away and each time had been found, dragged back and beaten for the attempt. He fought to stay conscious and open his eyes. He looked through blurred vision and saw her as he had in his dreams all that time. She was as beautiful as ever, no more than ever and he reached out a trembling hand to touch her cheek to make sure it was real. He touched her and she shivered and then took his shaking hand in hers and kissed it gently. Each had tears in their eyes as he spoke, “Doc, it’s really you. You’re here.. and I’m.. free.. from that… hell. Oh, Marlena…I thought…” He started to break down, overwhelmed by the reality of being safe and with her again. “I thought I would never see you again!”

Marlena held him gently and said soothingly, “Shh… yes, I’m really here and you’re free, baby… You’re safe.”

“Oh, Doc, I…..love you and I always have. I’ve always known it and I.. wanted to tell you while he had us. I realized that I never loved Kristen the way I loved you, but you… Doc do you…”

“I love you too, honey and we’ll have lots of time to talk about everything when you’re well. Please just rest now, alright?”

“Okay, Marlena. I’ll do whatever you say,” he answered as he relaxed and fell asleep again. She leaned down and put her head down on his chest to feel him breathing and listen to the steady beating of his heart. She rode like that for a long time and thanked God that he had finally reached some level of awareness of what was happening to him. She knew they had a very long road ahead, but she was hopeful for the future, a future in which they would be together as a couple the way they should have been for all these years.

Abe had just sat back and tried not to intrude on an important moment for these two good friends of his. He touched Marlena on the arm and said, “I always knew in the back of mind he still loved you, you know that?”

“Abe, this is all so….strange and frightening, but I love him and he loves me and that will get us through the tough times ahead, I just know it. And then when he is recovered we will be together as we’re meant to be. Is it silly of me to believe that?”

“No, it isn’t silly at all, Marlena. He loves you and it sounds like his memories and dreams of you were what got him through the….horror he suffered down there. He never loved Kristen, not the way he loves you. He could never love anyone as deeply as he loves you, and when he had to hold onto something to keep his sanity it was you.”

“Abe, it means so much to know that and to see that you support us in it. I love him so much and I always have. I did love Roman, but it just wasn’t ever the same after he came back. My heart was divided and I know now that the marriage was doomed. I regret the affair and the pain it caused, but not ever the love we shared. What John and I have, it’s…..magical, Abe”

He smiled and said simply, “I know.”

A short while later while still en route, John started to stir again and seemed anxious about something. “John what’s wrong honey?”

“Doc?” He still couldn’t quite believe he was free at last from the madness and pain, “You’re here, aren’t you. I wasn’t just dreaming again?”

“No, sweety I’m here, this is real.” She smoothed his slightly sweaty hair out of his eyes and stroked him gently on his cheek. Marlena sensed he wanted to say something more and waited for him to formulate his thoughts.

John was upset about something and tears seemed to be forming behind his eyes as he started to speak, “Marlena, can you ever forgive me?”

She was shocked by his question, “Forgive you, for what John. There’s nothing to forgive you for.”

“Oh, yes there is, Doc. I did so many things to hurt you. If I was a stronger man…we wouldn’t have had an affair at all. You would still be married to Roman and the kids would be happy too. All that is my fault. And now…I..” He stopped again as if fading out.

“John, please stop blaming yourself for all that. I was there with you and I loved you so much, I never regretted the love we shared then, just the pain it caused others. And I love you now, not Roman.”

She still sensed there was more and she waited again. Then he said it, “I’ve been trying to get past that, but Doc I….Can you ever forgive me for what I’ve done now?” He paused a moment before admitting the rest of it, “Marlena I’m so sorry but, I…I gave up for a long time. I quit fighting him and I feel so guilty…all this time you were hurting and I stopped trying to get away when I should have tried to get home and be there for you. He showed me tapes of you crying and then you were..in such danger. He thought of the Possession and the months since Aremid and Paris of which he knew very little. “..but I couldn’t find the strength to fight him anymore. Please forgive me, Marlena, I just got so…..tired.” Now John was slipping away in his mind to the dungeon again and he sounded distant, “Sometimes he went away and left me all alone for days or weeks at a time in that…darkness.” Despite his best efforts his eyes started to tear up, as he remembered feeling hopeless, helpless and such agonizing loneliness.

She too was moved to tears that he could even think this way. ‘That BASTARD!’ she said in a silent scream of anger about what Stefano had put him through. He probably did all he could to make John feel guilty when he was resigned to his suffering, berating him for not being stronger, not fighting harder.

“Oh, John no there is nothing to forgive. My God, John! you had to survive it any way you could and if you had to quit fighting for awhile there is absolutely nothing to feel bad about. Anyone else would have given up at the very beginning and many would have died. I could never fault you for that, John. Please don’t ever think I would be upset with you about this. Honey, what I went through had nothing to do with you. I love you more than ever and I want you to concentrate only on getting better okay?”

“Alright, I’ll try Doc. I just wish I had been there for you when you needed me, that’s all. I saw…the other one..with you. He gave you such mixed messages…it must have been so confusing for you.”

She shuddered at the thought she had been so completely fooled by him. “Yes, he..did sometimes. He seemed to care for me so much and then he backed away and went toward Kristen. It’s all so strange isn’t it?”

He laughed in spite of the crazy situation and said, “Well that’s putting it mildly.” Then he started to fade out again as he said, “I have to tell you what I know of him…I….” A fierce headache overwhelmed him and he couldn’t concentrate on anything else. He put his head in his hands and said, “No, I…can’t remember, can’t tell, he won’t let me…headache… hurts…oh..” He was quickly becoming agitated and began to thrash around and Marlena was alarmed. This could set him back, who knows what kind of post-trance or hypnotic suggestion accompanied the headache.

“John, try to calm down. It’s okay you don’t have to remember. Just lie back and relax. We’ll be in Salem soon.”

He wanted to do as she said and made a conscious effort to slow his breathing and calm himself down, letting the memory fade away instead of focusing on the details. Soon, he began to fall asleep again and his body relaxed against the gurney. Marlena felt a tremendous sense of relief, having been worried he would have a setback because of trying to recapture a memory that Stefano had obviously tried to suppress. It could still happen, but she would make sure nobody asked him what he knew about the other man until she could be sure it wouldn’t cause him pain or damage his already delicate psyche. Marlena too could be fiercely protective of the people she loved and John needed her to do that for him now. So, she would be the strong one this time and nobody, but nobody would get near him while he recovered, whom she didn’t trust implicitly. And she said out loud with a little smile as she glanced down at his sleeping form, “And that’s a fact!”


Extreme Frustration

Stefano Dimera arrived at the small airstrip outside of New Orleans that he always used when he came down to Maison Blanche. He had purchased another estate right after that amazing homestead had burned down and swiftly transferred John there with nobody the wiser. He had fooled them all again, ‘How easy it was,’ he thought. ‘The brainwashing techniques and the advances my scientists are capable of without following any governmental constraints allow me to accomplish so much more than any one person or country can.’ It made him feel superior, feeding his tremendous ego, leaving him confident that he could overcome all odds to accomplish his ultimate goal. He arrived at the airfield and was immediately greeted by two of his henchmen in a black limousine. He could tell there was a problem the moment he saw their apprehensive expressions, and wasted no time asking about it. He had been unreachable for about 18 hours and immediately realized that had been an error in judgement. “What has happened in my absence, tell me instantly!”

The two men exchanged fearful glances, as they knew what happened to Dimera employees who made big mistakes. “Sir, it’s uh…John Black.. sir, he escaped the other day and we… can’t seem to locate him. It looks like he might have made it to safety this time.”

Stefano struck the man in the face with the back of his hand, knocking him to the ground. “Dammit, you stupid idiots!” he yelled. “How could you let this happen? Now of all times… when I was so close to getting Marlena again.” He swiftly became lost in a fantasy of her falling in love with him, thinking of making love to her.. as he continued speaking, “She is so vulnerable now, and in need of someone who will treat her with gentleness and spoil her with romance… I can do all that, while the other John left her so confused and lonely by his mixed signals. My plan was working perfectly.. she was about to give up on him completely since he married Kristen. Damn, Kristen was going to be happy with the man she loved, and I would have Marlena. Damn you both for ruining my plans!”   

The men cowered in fear, believing he would kill them on the spot, but he didn’t; he had more important things to do. “Tell me exactly what happened and maybe we can still catch him before he makes it back to Salem and Marlena.” A short time later he realized that was not going to be the case, beginning to reformulate his plans even as the men told him about the country store with the broken window. It was obvious that John had called for help and it had already come by now, he was certain of that. In less than an hour, he confirmed that a helicopter bound for Salem had been chartered from a small airstrip outside New Orleans.        

‘Damm that man!’ Just when Stefano thought he’d beaten John Black down and thoroughly crushed his spirit, he still managed to get away. Stefano truly believed that the war was finally over. John had become so weak of late, seeming to give in to his fate as Stefano’s lifelong prisoner. Staring into a glass of brandy, the evil mastermind spoke of him with begrudging admiration, “You are a study in determination my enemy… I have to give you that.” When every ounce of strength and will, and every bit of hope were dashed, there was still some indefinable quality John Black possessed that wouldn’t quit. That was what Stefano had always tried to break in the man. Maybe he never would, and for that reason Stefano could not pass up the challenge. They would meet again and play the game some more.

Stefano set about to develop a new plan to take Marlena Evans now that she was with his adversary once again. No doubt she would not leave his side until he was recovered. Therefore, Stefano had to learn where they planned to care for him after he was strong enough to leave a hospital setting. He would observe the situation and determine a strategy from what he learned of their arrangements. One of his many spies would give him the information he needed, Dimera had no doubt of that; they had never let him down in the past.    

Within hours, Stefano had packed up what he needed and headed for the place he still owned outside Salem. The police there were so inept it was laughable. In all these years they had not even stumbled onto it, thinking they had found the only place he owned there. How wrong they had been about that. Then he set himself an operation to take the woman he loved, if one could ever call it that. Most would say it was a sick obsession and a psychiatrist would say he had crossed over the line into insanity years ago. Certainly, he was a true sociopath, the word that was used for many years to describe those who could cause great harm to others with not one iota of guilt. Men like Stefano Dimera had no sense of the feelings others except to use them to manipulate and control. He did not care how many were hurt or killed in his quest to win this woman. Stefano was driven to possess her, to make her love him, and he would never give it up. Occasionally, he considered that being so obsessed with her could be used against him. Was it possible that when John Black was recovered, he could use that weakness to his advantage and defeat his tormentor?

Stefano laughed harshly… Ha! John Black will never be more than my “Pawn.” Especially now. What he’d done to the man this time was presumably beyond repairing. He’d stripped his helpless victim of his faith, his hope, even his belief in himself and the bond of love he supposedly shared with the fair Marlena, wounding his mind, body, and spirit in ways that might never be overcome. There was something in the man’s vacant eyes that told the story of hopeless desolation. It was as if John knew he’d been beaten in every conceivable way and there was no fight left in him. At the end, it seemed as though not even the will to live was present. There had never come a time when the tireless perseverance was missing in his greatest enemy, and yet in spite of the prisoner’s apparent surrender to his fate, he found a way to escape his gruesome torture chamber. Maybe, the old John Black had suffered a slow and agonizing death in that oppressive dungeon. Stefano absently wondered what kind of man would emerge when the physical damage was healed. Would he ever be the worthy adversary he once was?

The next step after setting himself up in Salem was to contact and bring in the scientists who had set up the whole plan to have another John Black go to Salem while he kept one with him in New Orleans. He had always been able to lure some of the world’s best scientific researchers into his organization because they could work for him and have carte blanche in terms of the angles they pursued and the methods they used. He cared nothing for government regulations and allowed them to use human subjects which afforded them the opportunity to learn so much more than animal research could provide. He had perfected brainwashing techniques that government sponsored agencies such as the military branches, the CIA, FBI, ISA and the like could only dream of because of the constraints under which they functioned. They sacrificed professional acclaim, respect and admiration in favor of that freedom.       

As expected, the man responded quickly. They always did when he paged them and Stefano smiled proudly as he heard the man’s voice on the other end of the line. “Professor, as you know… this is Stefano Dimera. I need you to come to my Salem compound and work with me on the John Black matter. Please make arrangements to fly in on commercial airlines under a fictitious name and then you will be picked up by limousine and brought here. I’ll explain all of the details after you arrive.”  

“Yes, Mr. Dimera. I’ll be there as soon as I can make a reasonable excuse for my absence here at the Center.” He had learned never to question his boss in these matters, he simply complied with his requests. This had to be important, most likely some kind of serious problem, as the last contact had been quite positive, the subject functioning very well in his capacity in Salem. There was no question of his identity as John Black, and they thought the experiment was a great success. He hoped that one day the world would know what he had done and he would be lauded as one of the great scientists and researchers. He truly believed that deluded line of thinking, even though what he had done was completely immoral and criminal. The Professor knew about the real John Black’s brutal captivity and had not said anything to anyone about it. He’d assisted Dimera in his savage manipulation and use of the man’s memories and emotions for the purposes of his experiment. Somehow he justified that participation in the interests of scientific research for the greater good. His discovery and successful implementation were a total success and he could be proud of that even if he experienced some lingering guilt about the life that had been stolen from the first man. He convinced himself that it was a necessary evil.


The Arrival

Mike and Laura Horton stood in Laura’s office and Salem’s University Hospital discussing the impending arrival of their new patient. “Mike, I can hardly believe what Abe told us this afternoon. It’s like I’m in the middle of a dream and I keep waiting to wake up,” Laura said, gazing somewhat absently out the window.

“I know. To think all this the time that the man we’ve known and called a friend isn’t John at all. He paused a moment thinking of all the ramifications of the situation before continuing, “When I think what this will do to the Brady’s…My God they’ve been through all this before with Roman and John. This is really going to shake them up.”    

His mother was nodding, having reviewed the scenario herself…”Yes, and Marlena too…. Mike, Abe told me what rough shape John is in. This is going to be very hard for her. His recovery, both physically and psychologically from what was done to him will be a very difficult and painful time for both of them. It’s going to take a long time for him to be the man he was.”        

“Yes, if he ever can be… and that is why we have to do everything in our power to make it easier for them. Do you happen to know if the arrangements for the room where they’ll stay have been completed ?”       

“Actually, I do because I wanted to check it out myself. I put a small stereo in the room so we could play some calming music for John if he gets agitated or has flashbacks to the trauma he’s experienced. And, I’ve spoken to several therapists from the rehab hospital who are prepared to work discreetly with him once we know what we’re dealing with in terms of his injuries and the outlook for his recovery. But, for now, the room’s all set up for his immediate treatment. It’s like a mini-ER… The only thing we can’t do in there is perform surgery. She shuddered at the thought of some of the wounds that might have been inflicted upon a man who didn’t deserve to suffer. “We can only imagine what that evil monster has done to John’s mind and body. It just makes me sick to think that he was down there near Maison Blanche all this time.”

Mike tried to put the imagined scenes of John’s suffering aside as he sighed in anticipation of the hardships ahead. Putting his arm around his mother, he agreed, “Me too, Mom, me too. Now, let’s head up toward the roof, the helicopter should be arriving any minute. Oh, have you seen Bo lately?” he asked, glancing down the corridor.         

Laura was still lost in thought for a moment recalling how she had fairly recently recovered from more trauma herself and hoped she would be able to help her best friend and the man she loved do the same. “Uh…yes, he was rechecking all the entrances and exits to the floor and wing where John will stay, to make sure all the surveillance equipment is working properly. Then he said he would meet us up there.”

A short time later Bo, Mike and Laura stood on the roof of Salem University Hospital waiting for the arrival of someone whom, less than 24 hours earlier, they thought was safely tucked away at the Dimera Mansion with his wife and newborn son. ‘What a strange turn of events’ said the silent glances being exchanged at the moment the helicopter flew into view. Bo said, “Here we go everybody, let’s make this as quick and quiet as possible. No fanfare, no stopping to make sense of it all, just get him in the room and then we can take time for all that.”

The Horton’s nodded silently as they approached the pad. Within a few minutes John had been transferred to another gurney, covered with a sheet and moved swiftly through the deserted halls of a floor that had been almost completely cleared out without any attention being called to the plans. He was in the room and settled five minutes after landing. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as he seemed to fall into an apparently restful sleep fairly quickly. Marlena had given him a mild sedative shortly before arriving because he had become agitated and confused and she thought this transition would only make it more difficult for him.        

The five friends stood there silently looking at John as he slept and wondering how long it would be before he was standing there healthy and whole flashing that infectious grin and joking with them all about something. Mike broke the silence, “Well, I suppose I ought to get started here,” he said as he went to examine John. Even he was taken by surprise when he saw what a weakened state John was in at this point, quietly gasping at the first sight of the painfully slender, ghostly pale and battered body lying in the bed before him. “Oh, John… what he did to you…” Mike said, swallowing the lump in his throat. “We’re going to take very good care of you my friend, and before long you’re going to be arguing with me about going home, I’d bet.”        

That last phrase cut the tension that had filled the room and everyone had to chuckle at the thought of John sitting there pretending there was no pain, but barely able to put on a shirt and all the while telling them he was ready to leave the hospital. That was the John they knew, stubborn and down right bull-headed about some things. Lying around in a hospital bed for very long was definitely not something he did willingly.

Marlena followed up, “I bet you’re right Mike… he sure doesn’t like people fussing over him, does he? He’d hate it if he knew we were all standing here talking about him like this.”      

Bo nodded and said teasingly in a voice very similar to John’s, “And that’s a fact!”          

The group looked at Bo and then back at John and burst out laughing as they recalled all the times he used that phrase to back up his intense belief in something. ‘Oh, I wish you could stand here and say that to us now,’ thought Marlena as she tried to keep smiling for just a moment longer. She knew there would not be too many of those for quite awhile. They were in for a lot of rough road from this day forward. John’s journey toward recovery would be long and arduous at best.

On that note of laughter, Marlena, Abe and Bo left Laura and Mike to examine the sleeping man. Laura wanted to see his response to the physical contact necessary for the exam, in case he awakenened. This would give her some preliminary indication of his psychological state. Mike turned to his patient, starting with blood pressure and heart rate. Just looking at his friend’s wounded body was almost overwhelming, let alone trying to assess his condition in detail. He’d been tortured unmercifully… every visible body part injured at some point during his prolonged captivity. In truth, it was a miracle the man was alive at all. Tears filled Mike’s eyes as he imagined how much pain John endured during three years as a sadistic madman’s prisoner. Documenting the tremendous extent of the damage was quite taxing in itself. Deciding that John needed his medical expertise more than his emotional empathy at the moment, he wiped the moisture from the corners of his eyes and began to palpate his patient’s abdomen, garnering a stronger than expected reaction from the contact.   

“OW!,” John called out unexpectedly and doubled over in pain clutching his belly. Mike took his vital signs again and was slightly alarmed. He continued to palpate the lower body and pushed on another spot or two he suspected might cause a reaction and was correct as John cried out.       

Looking up quickly, Mike shared his initial conclusion, “My God, Mom I think he’s bleeding internally. I can’t believe they didn’t catch this! I suspect a ruptured spleen and/or bruised kidneys. He’s probably going to need surgery but in his condition, I don’t know if he can survive it. I’m not sure what to do here, could you get Marlena please.”    

Laura hesitated… expressing her concerns, “Oh, Mike… he’s not nearly strong enough… if we put him under….” Her son nodded grimly… and finished the sentence in his mind, ‘he might not ever come out of it…’ There was at least a moderate probability that John would die on the table.

Still under the effects of the sedative, John was confused about what was happening and called out, his voice tortured, as if he were relating to more than this incident, “No, please don’t…hurts… pain!” Then he passed out as Mike tried to reassure his patient that he was in the hospital and that no one was trying to hurt him. “It’s alright, John… you’re safe now… you’re in the hospital and we’re going to take good care of you..”        

Marlena entered the room and knew something was wrong as soon as she looked at Mike’s face. “What is it Mike?”    

He hated to tell her but it had to be done. After a heavy sigh, he looked up and informed her of the situation, “Marlena, I think that John’s bleeding internally and we’re probably going to have to take him to surgery to stop it. But…”

She knew why he hesitated. Exchanging worried glances with both Horton doctors she said it for them, while glancing at John with a professional’s judgement, “But you don’t think he’s strong enough for the surgery…Oh, Mike. What are we going to do?” she asked, sitting at John’s bedside as tears began to form behind distressed hazel eyes. This was her worst fear… they all knew the risk was great.

Taking her hand, Mike answered with a physician’s practiced calm, “Well, there’s no reason to be alarmed yet. I just ordered some tests that should tell us what we’re looking at and he’s going down for a CT in a few minutes. When we have the results we’ll know for sure. I’m hoping it isn’t that bad right now and maybe… we can wait a day or two until we can get more calories into him and let him rest. We’ll flood his system with antibiotics to ward off post-op infections. Then maybe he’ll make it through surgery a little better. What do you think?”

“Well, I think it’s very risky. What if he hemorrhages even more and is too weak from the loss of blood to survive the surgery? I don’t know Mike, either way he could….Oh God I hoped we wouldn’t have to face a decision like this right away!” she cried, fearing for his life.

A short time later Marlena was sitting alone in the room with John. She held his withered left hand in hers and talked to him, encouraging him, “Hey you, we’ve made it this far, you can’t give up now. Come on baby, be strong. You might need some surgery John and you’re in pretty rough shape, but I know you’re tough. You survived all this time with that.. monster and you just have to keep fighting a little while longer, that’s all…and then you can rest, sweety,” she said swallowing the lump in her throat and stroking his hair, then tenderly caressing his hollow cheek.

She started to cry as she looked him over again, gently drawing back the sheet that covered his emaciated form. Each time she allowed herself to truly see his face and his wounded body, she realized how horrendous his suffering must have been. He’d obviously been beaten time and time again… with all manner of objects… there were scars and cuts and deep bruises everywhere her eyes glanced.. His face was so painfully thin…his eyes sunken in, dark circles underneath, and every one his ribs were clearly visible… even his once massive upper arms… there was seemingly no muscle….only pallid taut skin covering bones… Truth be told, John looked like a concentration camp survivor…or prisoner of war found long after the war was supposedly over, the enemy having continued to sadistically torture its victim. “Oh, God, John!… Honey…I know you’ve been hurt… so badly.. but baby… you have to keep fighting… you just have to…”       

John heard a distant voice and knew it was Marlena. He wanted so much to tell her he would try to be strong for her, but he couldn’t make his mouth say what was in his mind. It was so frustrating. Inside he was speaking, but no sounds came out, ‘Doc, I will fight to make it, for you and me, and the kids too. I missed you all so much.’ He was able to nod his head slightly before he faded all the way out, but felt at peace as Marlena clung tightly to his discolored right hand.

She was weeping with mixed emotions as she saw the slight movement of his head, seizing on that bit of unspoken communication between them. “Yes, John…I’m here… and I know you can hear me… you fight like you never have before… and I’ll be here, honey… right by your side…” John smiled inside. Whatever happened next, at least he could go forth with the satisfaction that he had been with her one last time, and away from the man who had made him suffer such agony. Even death would be better than that tortuous imprisonment.

The orderly came in to take John for his CT scan and Marlena got out of the way but checked the man’s ID badge first, making certain he was on the list of people cleared to come on the unit. Every single person who had any contact with John would be thoroughly identified before entering the floor and his room. Background checks were made on all hospital employees and there would be no new ones allowed to have contact with this special patient. No one person would ever be alone with him either, except the trusted circle of friends and family. They were going to take absolutely no chances this time. Stefano would not get near him. Bo and Abe swore to that much; they would die before they would allow him to be taken again. Then the orderly and the police guard went down with John for the test procedure Mike had ordered.   

Marlena sat and waited and prayed. “God, please take care of him. I can’t believe you would have allowed him to survive all this only to let him die now when he has a chance to be free and healthy again. I love him so much!” Just then Mike entered the room and his face gave him away. “Mike, just tell me,” she demanded.          

He was hesitant, “Marlena, I don’t think we can wait on the surgery. His counts are very low…it looks like the bleeding has been slowly increasing over the past 24 hours or so, that’s why the other doctor didn’t pick up on it. The preliminary CT results indicate a ruptured spleen and damage to the kidneys from the….”

This was very upsetting, and she interrupted him before he could finish, “Mike, the spleen and both kidneys…how bad? Please tell me one is functioning fairly well, please Mike.”    

“Oh, Marlena I wish I could, but the lab tests indicate steadily increasing toxemia. That might explain some of the confusion you told me about.”

The fear took a stronghold, “Oh God, No! Mike, he’ll never survive a transplant procedure in the shape he’s in. We have to do something!” Then some information she had passed off as irrelevant to her practice came to mind, “I….I read something in a recent journal.. I just happened to pick it up.. it was an article about some experimental drugs that help boost kidney functioning. Do you think he could handle that treatment regimen, Mike?”     

Mike sighed, understanding her distress and shook his head uncertainly. “I don’t know, those drugs are pretty potent…Marlena, it’s all conjecture at this point anyway; we have to go in there and see what it looks like. Then we’ll have some decisions to make.”

She glanced back at John who thankfully seemed oblivious to the life-threatening situation he was in at the moment and said, “Okay, get me the consent forms and get him ready. I want to observe in the tower, alright?”        

Mike didn’t think that was such a good idea, “Marlena, you’ve been under a lot of stress, I don’t know if that is such a good idea for you. Why don’t you get some rest and a bite to eat?”

She was vehement, “NO! I am going to be there with him, I want him to know I’m there pulling for him. He needs me more than ever!”     

Doctor Horton nodded, realizing that it was a tossup as to which of these two friends of his was more stubborn, John or Marlena. “Okay, if you’re set on it, then by all means observe away.”

Giving him a weak smile of gratitude, Marlena replied and began to mentally prepare herself for what she would be viewing, “Thanks, Mike. I appreciate your concern. This is just something I have to do even though seeing him on the table is going to be rough.”

John was rolled back into the room as they were finishing their conversation and he seemed to be coming around a little. After being settled onto the bed for a short time while being prepped for surgery, he started to stir and wanted to speak, “What..happened, where am I?” he asked, thoroughly confused and disoriented.      

Marlena was at his side in a second, “John, you’re in Salem at University Hospital, do you remember that?”

He shook his head and then it registered who was speaking to him. His eyes lit up and he said her name as if she were an angel, “Doc? You….you found me somewhere.. and I…I got away. Yes, that’s it… I escaped and called you. You came for me?” he said, his voice soft and dreamy.           

She smiled lightly, “Yes, Oh yes, John I came to find you and so did Abe!” she said excitedly. “We brought you home to Salem and now you….honey you need some surgery to correct some problems. I’m going to be observing and Mike’s going to perform the operation.”  

“Surgery, why? I feel okay..” He was nicely medicated and therefore wasn’t suffering at the moment. He also had no idea how badly injured he was or how weak, and they weren’t going to do anything to change that situation. Not yet.

“Well, you’ve been bleeding inside and Mike needs to go in and stop that from happening, that’s all. You’re going to be just fine.” She tried to help him feel confident, but her fear filtered through in her voice and one hand was in that tight little clench he’d remembered from when they were trapped together.

John held her hand up to look at it and said, “Doc, you’re scared, what aren’t you telling me ?”           

She wanted to lie to reassure him everything was fine, but he had already seen through her. “Well, John I wasn’t going to tell you this, but your kidneys….they aren’t functioning correctly and…” She couldn’t be so matter of fact anymore and tears started to flow.

Seeing the salty moisture in her worried eyes, John pressed her for more, “Marlena, what is it? What’s wrong?”        

Mike stepped in and gave him the information, “John, we won’t know for sure until the surgery is completed, but it looks as if both your kidneys are seriously damaged from your ordeal and they’re failing; if that’s true… you would eventually need a transplant, but in your condition….”

John filled in the blanks for him, his voice fading as the moments passed, “I wouldn’t survive the procedure. I could die, is that what you’re saying Mike?” He didn’t wait for Mike’s answer as Marlena’s cry of anguish told him what he needed to know. “Oh, Doc I’m so sorry. I can handle this for myself. I thought I was going to die several different times in Stefano’s dungeon and I made my peace with God, but you….I’m sorry.” He tried to sit up and hold her, but just couldn’t manage it. He was too worn out and slumped back against the pillows.           

Marlena cried for herself, for him and all he had suffered, for all the time that had been stolen from them. “Oh, John I love you so much and I’m sorry you even had to face the idea of death all by yourself in that hell hole.” She lowered herself onto his chest for a moment to comfort them both and then sat back up and spoke to him firmly, even as the tears streamed down her face. Wiping them with the backs of her hands she was passionate in her belief that he would not perish, “You are *not* going to die, do you hear me! I won’t let you. I don’t care what all the tests say! After all that you’ve been through and all this time apart, you aren’t going to die on me, dammit!!”     

In spite of the fact that he was about to slip back into the unconsciousness that kept overtaking him, John smiled faintly and looked toward Mike as he said, “Feisty broad isn’t she?” Then he took her hand and said what she most needed to hear, his voice fading while on the way to darkness, “I love you Doc.. and I won’t give up, I’ll fight with everything I’ve got, okay?”  

He was out before she could reply and couldn’t fully hear her response. “Oh, John please do that for me… I love you so much, and I need you more than you’ll ever know.”


The Arrival

Mike and Laura Horton stood in Laura’s office and Salem’s University Hospital discussing the impending arrival of their new patient. “Mike, I can hardly believe what Abe told us this afternoon. It’s like I’m in the middle of a dream and I keep waiting to wake up,” Laura said, gazing somewhat absently out the window.

“I know. To think all this the time that the man we’ve known and called a friend isn’t John at all. He paused a moment thinking of all the ramifications of the situation before continuing, “When I think what this will do to the Brady’s…My God they’ve been through all this before with Roman and John. This is really going to shake them up.”    

His mother was nodding, having reviewed the scenario herself…”Yes, and Marlena too…. Mike, Abe told me what rough shape John is in. This is going to be very hard for her. His recovery, both physically and psychologically from what was done to him will be a very difficult and painful time for both of them. It’s going to take a long time for him to be the man he was.”        

“Yes, if he ever can be… and that is why we have to do everything in our power to make it easier for them. Do you happen to know if the arrangements for the room where they’ll stay have been completed ?”       

“Actually, I do because I wanted to check it out myself. I put a small stereo in the room so we could play some calming music for John if he gets agitated or has flashbacks to the trauma he’s experienced. And, I’ve spoken to several therapists from the rehab hospital who are prepared to work discreetly with him once we know what we’re dealing with in terms of his injuries and the outlook for his recovery. But, for now, the room’s all set up for his immediate treatment. It’s like a mini-ER… The only thing we can’t do in there is perform surgery. She shuddered at the thought of some of the wounds that might have been inflicted upon a man who didn’t deserve to suffer. “We can only imagine what that evil monster has done to John’s mind and body. It just makes me sick to think that he was down there near Maison Blanche all this time.”

Mike tried to put the imagined scenes of John’s suffering aside as he sighed in anticipation of the hardships ahead. Putting his arm around his mother, he agreed, “Me too, Mom, me too. Now, let’s head up toward the roof, the helicopter should be arriving any minute. Oh, have you seen Bo lately?” he asked, glancing down the corridor.         

Laura was still lost in thought for a moment recalling how she had fairly recently recovered from more trauma herself and hoped she would be able to help her best friend and the man she loved do the same. “Uh…yes, he was rechecking all the entrances and exits to the floor and wing where John will stay, to make sure all the surveillance equipment is working properly. Then he said he would meet us up there.”

A short time later Bo, Mike and Laura stood on the roof of Salem University Hospital waiting for the arrival of someone whom, less than 24 hours earlier, they thought was safely tucked away at the Dimera Mansion with his wife and newborn son. ‘What a strange turn of events’ said the silent glances being exchanged at the moment the helicopter flew into view. Bo said, “Here we go everybody, let’s make this as quick and quiet as possible. No fanfare, no stopping to make sense of it all, just get him in the room and then we can take time for all that.”

The Horton’s nodded silently as they approached the pad. Within a few minutes John had been transferred to another gurney, covered with a sheet and moved swiftly through the deserted halls of a floor that had been almost completely cleared out without any attention being called to the plans. He was in the room and settled five minutes after landing. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as he seemed to fall into an apparently restful sleep fairly quickly. Marlena had given him a mild sedative shortly before arriving because he had become agitated and confused and she thought this transition would only make it more difficult for him.        

The five friends stood there silently looking at John as he slept and wondering how long it would be before he was standing there healthy and whole flashing that infectious grin and joking with them all about something. Mike broke the silence, “Well, I suppose I ought to get started here,” he said as he went to examine John. Even he was taken by surprise when he saw what a weakened state John was in at this point, quietly gasping at the first sight of the painfully slender, ghostly pale and battered body lying in the bed before him. “Oh, John… what he did to you…” Mike said, swallowing the lump in his throat. “We’re going to take very good care of you my friend, and before long you’re going to be arguing with me about going home, I’d bet.”        

That last phrase cut the tension that had filled the room and everyone had to chuckle at the thought of John sitting there pretending there was no pain, but barely able to put on a shirt and all the while telling them he was ready to leave the hospital. That was the John they knew, stubborn and down right bull-headed about some things. Lying around in a hospital bed for very long was definitely not something he did willingly.

Marlena followed up, “I bet you’re right Mike… he sure doesn’t like people fussing over him, does he? He’d hate it if he knew we were all standing here talking about him like this.”      

Bo nodded and said teasingly in a voice very similar to John’s, “And that’s a fact!”          

The group looked at Bo and then back at John and burst out laughing as they recalled all the times he used that phrase to back up his intense belief in something. ‘Oh, I wish you could stand here and say that to us now,’ thought Marlena as she tried to keep smiling for just a moment longer. She knew there would not be too many of those for quite awhile. They were in for a lot of rough road from this day forward. John’s journey toward recovery would be long and arduous at best.

On that note of laughter, Marlena, Abe and Bo left Laura and Mike to examine the sleeping man. Laura wanted to see his response to the physical contact necessary for the exam, in case he awakenened. This would give her some preliminary indication of his psychological state. Mike turned to his patient, starting with blood pressure and heart rate. Just looking at his friend’s wounded body was almost overwhelming, let alone trying to assess his condition in detail. He’d been tortured unmercifully… every visible body part injured at some point during his prolonged captivity. In truth, it was a miracle the man was alive at all. Tears filled Mike’s eyes as he imagined how much pain John endured during three years as a sadistic madman’s prisoner. Documenting the tremendous extent of the damage was quite taxing in itself. Deciding that John needed his medical expertise more than his emotional empathy at the moment, he wiped the moisture from the corners of his eyes and began to palpate his patient’s abdomen, garnering a stronger than expected reaction from the contact.   

“OW!,” John called out unexpectedly and doubled over in pain clutching his belly. Mike took his vital signs again and was slightly alarmed. He continued to palpate the lower body and pushed on another spot or two he suspected might cause a reaction and was correct as John cried out.       

Looking up quickly, Mike shared his initial conclusion, “My God, Mom I think he’s bleeding internally. I can’t believe they didn’t catch this! I suspect a ruptured spleen and/or bruised kidneys. He’s probably going to need surgery but in his condition, I don’t know if he can survive it. I’m not sure what to do here, could you get Marlena please.”    

Laura hesitated… expressing her concerns, “Oh, Mike… he’s not nearly strong enough… if we put him under….” Her son nodded grimly… and finished the sentence in his mind, ‘he might not ever come out of it…’ There was at least a moderate probability that John would die on the table.

Still under the effects of the sedative, John was confused about what was happening and called out, his voice tortured, as if he were relating to more than this incident, “No, please don’t…hurts… pain!” Then he passed out as Mike tried to reassure his patient that he was in the hospital and that no one was trying to hurt him. “It’s alright, John… you’re safe now… you’re in the hospital and we’re going to take good care of you..”        

Marlena entered the room and knew something was wrong as soon as she looked at Mike’s face. “What is it Mike?”    

He hated to tell her but it had to be done. After a heavy sigh, he looked up and informed her of the situation, “Marlena, I think that John’s bleeding internally and we’re probably going to have to take him to surgery to stop it. But…”

She knew why he hesitated. Exchanging worried glances with both Horton doctors she said it for them, while glancing at John with a professional’s judgement, “But you don’t think he’s strong enough for the surgery…Oh, Mike. What are we going to do?” she asked, sitting at John’s bedside as tears began to form behind distressed hazel eyes. This was her worst fear… they all knew the risk was great.

Taking her hand, Mike answered with a physician’s practiced calm, “Well, there’s no reason to be alarmed yet. I just ordered some tests that should tell us what we’re looking at and he’s going down for a CT in a few minutes. When we have the results we’ll know for sure. I’m hoping it isn’t that bad right now and maybe… we can wait a day or two until we can get more calories into him and let him rest. We’ll flood his system with antibiotics to ward off post-op infections. Then maybe he’ll make it through surgery a little better. What do you think?”

“Well, I think it’s very risky. What if he hemorrhages even more and is too weak from the loss of blood to survive the surgery? I don’t know Mike, either way he could….Oh God I hoped we wouldn’t have to face a decision like this right away!” she cried, fearing for his life.

A short time later Marlena was sitting alone in the room with John. She held his withered left hand in hers and talked to him, encouraging him, “Hey you, we’ve made it this far, you can’t give up now. Come on baby, be strong. You might need some surgery John and you’re in pretty rough shape, but I know you’re tough. You survived all this time with that.. monster and you just have to keep fighting a little while longer, that’s all…and then you can rest, sweety,” she said swallowing the lump in her throat and stroking his hair, then tenderly caressing his hollow cheek.

She started to cry as she looked him over again, gently drawing back the sheet that covered his emaciated form. Each time she allowed herself to truly see his face and his wounded body, she realized how horrendous his suffering must have been. He’d obviously been beaten time and time again… with all manner of objects… there were scars and cuts and deep bruises everywhere her eyes glanced.. His face was so painfully thin…his eyes sunken in, dark circles underneath, and every one his ribs were clearly visible… even his once massive upper arms… there was seemingly no muscle….only pallid taut skin covering bones… Truth be told, John looked like a concentration camp survivor…or prisoner of war found long after the war was supposedly over, the enemy having continued to sadistically torture its victim. “Oh, God, John!… Honey…I know you’ve been hurt… so badly.. but baby… you have to keep fighting… you just have to…”       

John heard a distant voice and knew it was Marlena. He wanted so much to tell her he would try to be strong for her, but he couldn’t make his mouth say what was in his mind. It was so frustrating. Inside he was speaking, but no sounds came out, ‘Doc, I will fight to make it, for you and me, and the kids too. I missed you all so much.’ He was able to nod his head slightly before he faded all the way out, but felt at peace as Marlena clung tightly to his discolored right hand.

She was weeping with mixed emotions as she saw the slight movement of his head, seizing on that bit of unspoken communication between them. “Yes, John…I’m here… and I know you can hear me… you fight like you never have before… and I’ll be here, honey… right by your side…” John smiled inside. Whatever happened next, at least he could go forth with the satisfaction that he had been with her one last time, and away from the man who had made him suffer such agony. Even death would be better than that tortuous imprisonment.

The orderly came in to take John for his CT scan and Marlena got out of the way but checked the man’s ID badge first, making certain he was on the list of people cleared to come on the unit. Every single person who had any contact with John would be thoroughly identified before entering the floor and his room. Background checks were made on all hospital employees and there would be no new ones allowed to have contact with this special patient. No one person would ever be alone with him either, except the trusted circle of friends and family. They were going to take absolutely no chances this time. Stefano would not get near him. Bo and Abe swore to that much; they would die before they would allow him to be taken again. Then the orderly and the police guard went down with John for the test procedure Mike had ordered.   

Marlena sat and waited and prayed. “God, please take care of him. I can’t believe you would have allowed him to survive all this only to let him die now when he has a chance to be free and healthy again. I love him so much!” Just then Mike entered the room and his face gave him away. “Mike, just tell me,” she demanded.          

He was hesitant, “Marlena, I don’t think we can wait on the surgery. His counts are very low…it looks like the bleeding has been slowly increasing over the past 24 hours or so, that’s why the other doctor didn’t pick up on it. The preliminary CT results indicate a ruptured spleen and damage to the kidneys from the….”

This was very upsetting, and she interrupted him before he could finish, “Mike, the spleen and both kidneys…how bad? Please tell me one is functioning fairly well, please Mike.”    

“Oh, Marlena I wish I could, but the lab tests indicate steadily increasing toxemia. That might explain some of the confusion you told me about.”

The fear took a stronghold, “Oh God, No! Mike, he’ll never survive a transplant procedure in the shape he’s in. We have to do something!” Then some information she had passed off as irrelevant to her practice came to mind, “I….I read something in a recent journal.. I just happened to pick it up.. it was an article about some experimental drugs that help boost kidney functioning. Do you think he could handle that treatment regimen, Mike?”     

Mike sighed, understanding her distress and shook his head uncertainly. “I don’t know, those drugs are pretty potent…Marlena, it’s all conjecture at this point anyway; we have to go in there and see what it looks like. Then we’ll have some decisions to make.”

She glanced back at John who thankfully seemed oblivious to the life-threatening situation he was in at the moment and said, “Okay, get me the consent forms and get him ready. I want to observe in the tower, alright?”        

Mike didn’t think that was such a good idea, “Marlena, you’ve been under a lot of stress, I don’t know if that is such a good idea for you. Why don’t you get some rest and a bite to eat?”

She was vehement, “NO! I am going to be there with him, I want him to know I’m there pulling for him. He needs me more than ever!”     

Doctor Horton nodded, realizing that it was a tossup as to which of these two friends of his was more stubborn, John or Marlena. “Okay, if you’re set on it, then by all means observe away.”

Giving him a weak smile of gratitude, Marlena replied and began to mentally prepare herself for what she would be viewing, “Thanks, Mike. I appreciate your concern. This is just something I have to do even though seeing him on the table is going to be rough.”

John was rolled back into the room as they were finishing their conversation and he seemed to be coming around a little. After being settled onto the bed for a short time while being prepped for surgery, he started to stir and wanted to speak, “What..happened, where am I?” he asked, thoroughly confused and disoriented.      

Marlena was at his side in a second, “John, you’re in Salem at University Hospital, do you remember that?”

He shook his head and then it registered who was speaking to him. His eyes lit up and he said her name as if she were an angel, “Doc? You….you found me somewhere.. and I…I got away. Yes, that’s it… I escaped and called you. You came for me?” he said, his voice soft and dreamy.           

She smiled lightly, “Yes, Oh yes, John I came to find you and so did Abe!” she said excitedly. “We brought you home to Salem and now you….honey you need some surgery to correct some problems. I’m going to be observing and Mike’s going to perform the operation.”  

“Surgery, why? I feel okay..” He was nicely medicated and therefore wasn’t suffering at the moment. He also had no idea how badly injured he was or how weak, and they weren’t going to do anything to change that situation. Not yet.

“Well, you’ve been bleeding inside and Mike needs to go in and stop that from happening, that’s all. You’re going to be just fine.” She tried to help him feel confident, but her fear filtered through in her voice and one hand was in that tight little clench he’d remembered from when they were trapped together.

John held her hand up to look at it and said, “Doc, you’re scared, what aren’t you telling me ?”           

She wanted to lie to reassure him everything was fine, but he had already seen through her. “Well, John I wasn’t going to tell you this, but your kidneys….they aren’t functioning correctly and…” She couldn’t be so matter of fact anymore and tears started to flow.

Seeing the salty moisture in her worried eyes, John pressed her for more, “Marlena, what is it? What’s wrong?”        

Mike stepped in and gave him the information, “John, we won’t know for sure until the surgery is completed, but it looks as if both your kidneys are seriously damaged from your ordeal and they’re failing; if that’s true… you would eventually need a transplant, but in your condition….”

John filled in the blanks for him, his voice fading as the moments passed, “I wouldn’t survive the procedure. I could die, is that what you’re saying Mike?” He didn’t wait for Mike’s answer as Marlena’s cry of anguish told him what he needed to know. “Oh, Doc I’m so sorry. I can handle this for myself. I thought I was going to die several different times in Stefano’s dungeon and I made my peace with God, but you….I’m sorry.” He tried to sit up and hold her, but just couldn’t manage it. He was too worn out and slumped back against the pillows.           

Marlena cried for herself, for him and all he had suffered, for all the time that had been stolen from them. “Oh, John I love you so much and I’m sorry you even had to face the idea of death all by yourself in that hell hole.” She lowered herself onto his chest for a moment to comfort them both and then sat back up and spoke to him firmly, even as the tears streamed down her face. Wiping them with the backs of her hands she was passionate in her belief that he would not perish, “You are *not* going to die, do you hear me! I won’t let you. I don’t care what all the tests say! After all that you’ve been through and all this time apart, you aren’t going to die on me, dammit!!”     

In spite of the fact that he was about to slip back into the unconsciousness that kept overtaking him, John smiled faintly and looked toward Mike as he said, “Feisty broad isn’t she?” Then he took her hand and said what she most needed to hear, his voice fading while on the way to darkness, “I love you Doc.. and I won’t give up, I’ll fight with everything I’ve got, okay?”  

He was out before she could reply and couldn’t fully hear her response. “Oh, John please do that for me… I love you so much, and I need you more than you’ll ever know.”


What To Do About John

John was in surgery and the only people who knew it besides the surgical team, waited in his room trying to figure out how in the world they were going to handle this situation of two John Black’s. Talk about deja vous; they really had been through all this before, and it definitely wasn’t any easier the second time around.

Marlena, Abe, Bo and Laura stood quietly in the room and each was starting to pace, deep in thought about what to do, how to find out what was going on, who the other man was, what he knew… They had been told briefly by Mike, just before he went into surgery with John, that the other…John had been admitted to the hospital after passing out from a severe headache, and that an MRI had revealed some significant brain damage that might account for the headaches. He also told them that the headaches were brought on whenever the man tried to disagree with what Kristen said, or question an explanation she gave for her sometimes unpredictable and strange behavior over the past year.

This was upsetting to Marlena and intriguing at the same time. She had wondered about that, as he sometimes seemed to have a pained expression on his face when he was trying to disagree with something Kristen said. She noticed it more lately, but hadn’t really had a chance to ask him about it. Kristen seemed to make it a point of keeping them from talking undisturbed, due to her fear of being exposed. ‘What does she know of this, if anything?’ Marlena asked silently in her mind.

Even now, Marlena was concerned about him being in pain and she wanted to go to him, this in spite of the fact that she knew the John she had found in New Orleans was the real one, the one she loved with all her heart. The other John was at heart a good man too, she knew that also, and she would help in the same way she had helped John when the others were worried he would hurt her. No, she had known in her soul that he was not capable of that, no matter what Stefano had done to him. She felt the same conviction about the John that saved her in Paris, the one who cried as he said goodbye to the children in Aremid, the John Black who saved her from the devil himself. He may have given her mixed messages and been blind to Kristen’s schemes, but he would not intentionally harm her in any way. Of that she was completely certain.

However, now she needed to go to the observation tower over OR 4 to observe John’s surgery and pray that God would get him through it without too much trauma to his already weakened body.      

Mike was just getting into the surgery to the point where he could assess how serious the bleeding problem was. He was right it, it was a ruptured spleen and the problem had grown steadily worse over time. It appeared as if he had taken repeated blows to that area and the cumulative effect finally caused the rupture, but had taken awhile to be noticeable to someone examining him. It made Mike ill to see the harm inflicted on a man who never deserved such suffering, ‘Oh John, the pain he caused you…I’m going to do everything possible to save you, my friend and to help you recover.. We all are.’ How odd they had grown closer..no he had grown close to the other man during Marlena’s ordeal with the devil, but… then how did… Stop it Mike, there will time for all that later. Save John.

He and the other members of the team began to clear out the excess fluid and remove the spleen and then moved to examine the kidney damage. They had been slowly deteriorating due to inadequate fluid intake, the powerful drugs used to brainwash him, improper living conditions in general, and there was also evidence of physical trauma, probably from beatings. Oh, those sick bastards. The kidneys were in rough shape, much smaller than they should be….He would most likely need a transplant before too long. Damm, I hoped it wouldn’t be necessary.



All of a sudden he was jolted into urgent action as John went into cardiac failure. “He’s crashing, dammit we’ve had him under too long, give me some juice in these things!” he said as he held the defibrillator in his hands.    

Up above the operating room, Marlena watched in horror. “Oh God, please don’t let him die now! Not now after everything he suffered through to get home to me, you can’t let him die, please!” she prayed desperately. She watched as the team readied the electrical device to bring life back into the body of the man she loved. It seemed an eternity to her, but it was only a matter of seconds.

The surgical team labored to save the man whose body was so thin and weak it practically flew off the table when the electricity flowed through it. There was a long pause…..”He’s back,” said the man monitoring the machines, “Normal rhythm…Whew.”

“We’ve done all we can for now, let’s close…he won’t survive that again,” said Mike.

Marlena let out the breath she had been holding and prayed in thanks. “Oh thank you Lord for saving him for me and every one else he loves.” Then she stood up and went to learn what Mike had found when surveyed the damage to John.

A short time later, Mike came out to talk to Marlena and she could tell by his expression that the news was not good. “How bad is he, Mike?

“Well, the spleen was ruptured and bleeding all through his abdomen. We stopped the bleeding and cleared out the excess fluid and removed the spleen. Then we checked the kidneys.. they’re seriously damaged from…..beatings, the drugs Stefano used on him and most probably from lack of normal fluid intake for so long. Marlena they won’t last long…he’s probably going to need a transplant.”      

“Oh Mike…I was hoping it wouldn’t come to that. How soon?”           

He sighed, “A good guess is a week or two tops, but we can try the experimental drugs you mentioned. I arranged a consultation with the man who developed the protocol and he’s flying in today to examine John and study all the lab work to determine if he is a candidate for it. It’s the best we can do for now, Marlena.”      

“Thank you, Mike. I know you’ll do everything you can for him.” She was trying to keep her composure, but it was all getting to be too much, and she started to break down again. Laura and the others had been standing back listening and she came over to hold her friend and let her cry for all John had been through, and for whatever was ahead of them all, as they tried to fix what was broken.

Mike didn’t know what else to say except, “Yes, I will and I’ll let you know when the specialist arrives. Try to get a little rest if you can Marlena, you’ll need your strength for what lies ahead.”

Marlena nodded but didn’t reply, feeling too overwhelmed with fear and grief for what John had already suffered. She wondered.. God wouldn’t let him get this far only to die, would he?

Abe, Bo and Mike had decided to meet shortly after the surgery to talk further about the other John. Abe asked, “So Mike what were your impressions of what was happening to John…the other John, you know…What do you think is wrong with him?”

“Well, I’m not sure exactly, but the way he reacted to my questions indicated something had been done to the man’s mind…like brainwashing. He passed out when he was telling me that the headaches come when he tries to disagree or question Kristen’s actions or her explanations of her behavior. He was in complete agony when he tried to give me details and then he passed out on the spot.”  

Abe thought about it and he said, “You know..I’ve noticed him having more headaches lately. He said something about it once and then dismissed it as the stress of having a new baby, late nights, etc. To me it seemed like more than that and it seemed to be happening more frequently. Every once in a while, I’d see him holding his head like it was killing him and then he’d get this blank expression and it seemed to stop. I said something to him and he acted like he didn’t know what I was talking about.”          

“I saw that once, right before we talked on the pier one day. He said he was just thinking and he was a little tense, but he had his hands to his temples, rubbing at them like his head hurt a lot.”

Mike considered what they said and asked, “So, what are we going to do about this? Are we going to tell anyone what’s happening here or just watch for awhile?”

Abe and Bo exchanged glances questioningly. Then Abe said, “I think we should try to confirm what we all suspect that whoever he is, he was used and brainwashed as part of Stefano’s plans to have Marlena. My gut tells me he’s not dangerous at all, unless to himself… when he finds out the truth.” He remembered how much pain John had experienced when he learned he wasn’t Roman. “Here we go again,” he said sadly.

Bo had been reviewing the same memories, “Man, I can hardly believe this is even happening. I keep hoping it’s all a dream we’re going to wake up from and laugh about.”

“I wish it were…..I didn’t get a chance to tell you about John…his kidneys are badly damaged and it looks like he’ll need a transplant, but with the shape he’s in…”

Abe jumped in, “You don’t think he’ll survive it do you, Mike?”

Mike shook his head sadly, “No, honestly..I don’t, not unless these experimental drugs can help boost his kidney functioning and his overall condition improves significantly….”

Bo had a question too, “Who are you going to get as a donor, isn’t it usually a brother or sister that works best for these things?” As he asked, he thought about Lawrence Alamain and shuddered at the thought of having to track the man down and ask him to donate a kidney.

“Yes, those situations usually work best.”

“Don’t count on Larry jumping at the chance to help his brother, they both made it clear they are brothers by birth only. I don’t think he would do it,” said Bo. “Sometimes.. I wish John was really my brother by blood too, and this is one of those times. I’d give him a kidney without even thinking about it, but Lawrence is a self-centered son of a…who just might let John die.” Bo was angry as he remembered the whole episode with Carly and the man’s play for Carrie years ago.

Abe tried to inject some hope, “Maybe he’s changed, you never know. Carly may have been a good influence on him. Maybe he would donate a kidney to John. I’ll work on locating them today, Mike.”

Mike nodded and the three of them decided they should do some research before revealing anything more to John or the other man, so Mike resolved to take some blood, tissue, hair and skin samples as innocently as possible from the two men. They would be closely analyzed and he would discover whatever he could about the similarities and differences, right down to the DNA. That would give them some answers when the questions started flying. Until the results were in, no one who didn’t already know what was happening, were to be told.


The Results Are In

John’s condition was worsening rapidly, the periods of confusion lengthening and intensifying, and it frightened both John and Marlena. Dialysis was staving off the inevitable and they had managed to avoid talking about their fears. During a particularly lucid moment John dared to ask the question that had lingered for several days, “Doc, I’m.. dying, aren’t I? Since I wasn’t a candidate for those drugs…if they don’t find Lawrence soon or someone else to give me a kidney, I’m not going to make it, am I?”

She was siting at his bedside holding his hand and she wanted to run from his question and the fear she was feeling for both of them. Seeking to avoid confronting that emotion, she tried to deny it, “Oh John, I can’t think about that, let’s be positive… it’s going to work out and you’ll be fine. We’ll find Lawrence or get Vivian to do it, or even find another match. We have to believe that! I just wish I was compatible.”

He was quiet and contemplative and she saw that tears had formed behind his eyes, when he looked up again to share his thoughts, “You know what I said before… about not being afraid.. I …I lied. I’m getting…scared Doc!” His lips trembled as he spoke of his fear, taking her hands in his shaky ones, “I don’t want to die..I love you and I want to stay with you. I’ve missed so much already, and I want to watch the kids grow up…see Brady play in his first little league game, Belle’s first ballet recital…. birthday parties, graduations. Despite his best efforts to remain strong, he started to break down, “I want to.. be the one to walk down the aisle and give Belle away at her wedding. Oh God Doc, I’m really.. scared!”

She was crying openly in response to his pain, for him, for herself, and for the children who might miss out on so much with their father. “I’m scared too, John. I love you and I don’t want to lose you. You’ve already missed out on so much, this just isn’t fair!”      

Marlena laid her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her; they stayed that way for a long time before he finally fell asleep again. She prayed that God would grant another miracle and find a compatible kidney donor soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While that conversation was taking place, Mike sat in the lab of University Hospital reading and re-reading the data that had been turned in by two separate labs and four separate workers. He could not believe his eyes, and blinked several times to clear what he thought must be cobwebs clouding his vision. The results of all the samples indicated that they had been drawn on one individual. The results were identical in every way. They were indistinguishable in any way other than some values affected by John’s deprivation and weakened condition as would be expected. But those characteristics that led to revealing a man’s true identity were exactly the same in all samples. My God…how can this be, even twins would show some genetic differences in DNA analysis, wouldn’t they? No, it’s not even possible .He couldn’t bring himself even to suggest the possibility in his mind. Mike was compelled to talk to someone else, someone who had gotten some sleep in the past 48 hours. He would show the results to Marlena and another researcher who could be discreet to see what they said about it.   

First he had gone to his colleague in genetics who concurred that it appeared the samples were drawn on one individual, and suggested that a mistake had been made and Mike agreed to that possibility so as not to alarm the man. He knew that wasn’t true. The results were correct and the procedures followed to the letter of the book on such things. So, after much inner debate, Mike Horton, MD, decided to show them to his friend and colleague, Dr. Marlena Evans, who practically fainted when she reviewed the data. “Mike, do you think it’s possible….No, no way it can’t be….but still…”

The two of them stared at the papers and then at each other and laughed nervously. Neither wanted to say the word. Finally Mike broke down and asked, “Marlena are you thinking what I’m thinking here, do you think it’s even possible?”       

She hesitated and then said with a slight shrug of her shoulders, “When it comes to Stefano almost anything is possible, even this..but a human…c..c..clone…” She could hardly say the word. “Oh My God, Mike is that who the other John is.. a clone?” She about fainted at the thought of it.       

Mike sighed and said, “That’s what I’ve been trying desperately not to think, Marlena. But, these results are flawless, I checked myself to ensure all procedures were followed to the letter. Every single sample analysis is identical as if taken from the same man, and we know they weren’t. What other logical conclusion is there at this point, and yet…”

“My God, what do we do now, Mike? If it’s true, can we actually tell them what has happened, that one of them gets to live the life and one of them doesn’t? How do we know which was one has that right, how do we decide it, by my gut instinct? What if I’m wrong? And what do we say to the other one, sorry but you have to find another life… this one isn’t really yours? Oh God, Stefano what despicable evil you have committed now!!”

Mike was dumbfounded by all the questions.. so many moral and ethical dilemmas to be faced and two men’s lives and sanity at stake. “Oh, my God I can’t believe this is happening.”    

They had to put it aside as her John was agitated, apparently from a memory of his torture and was calling out for Marlena. Laura was with him and tried to calm him, but was unsuccessful. It seemed when he was really upset, only Marlena could help him. As soon as she sat down and began talking to him in soothing tones, he seemed to calm down quite rapidly and would often fall asleep with her gentle touch. The confusion and agitation had gotten worse because of his

rapidly failing kidneys and he seemed to need Marlena’s presence much of the time in order to feel secure. Abe and Bo had not had any luck in locating Lawrence Alamain and time was running out for John. If they didn’t find him and if he didn’t agree to the transplant…

This connection they shared continued to cement her belief that he was the real John Black or should she say the first John Black. She hoped they would be able to make some decisions about the whole affair soon. Otherwise it would make them crazy. And what if the other man was a clone….could he? It came to her like a bolt of lightning. She had to get Mike.

Dr. Mike Horton had just come from examining the other John who continued his struggle with the headaches. Mike could find no discernable physiological reason other than the mysterious brain damage he saw on the MRI. It seemed more and more like the man had probably been brainwashed by Stefano and he would continue to feel the pain if he contradicted Kristen in even the slightest way. In an attempt to make light of the tough situation John and he had worked out this little routine where John always said, “Doctor my head hurts when I argue with my wife.”

And then Mike said, “Well, then stop arguing with your wife.” Then they laughed and John seemed to feel a little bit better. Mike wanted to keep him around the hospital for a few days, just until they figured out what to do about the test results. He had to admit he could tell no difference in the two men except that one was sick and weak from a horrendous experience at the hands of a madman.

As Mike exited the man’s room with some words of reassurance he ran smack into Marlena Evans and Mike ushered her away quickly saying, “Do you want him to see you, are you ready to see him yet?”

“No, actually I’m not,” she answered as she looked back at him sadly. “I hate avoiding him though. Is he still asking to see me?”      

Mike shook his head, “No, I think he’s starting to get the idea that you really don’t want to see him and he’s really down about it to tell you the truth. He thinks he’s done something to upset you and he feels bad.”

“Oh, Mike I don’t like what this is doing to him..I…lo….care about him too you know. Oh, I’m so confused about what to feel for him. He was the one who saved me from the devil, rescued me from Stefano twice..the one whose hand I held when he thought he was going to die in Aremid. This is crazy! What in the world are we going to do now?” After a few minutes of anguish and confusion, she remembered why she had come looking for him. “Mike if he really is a clone…what about him donating the kidney to our John, if he’s willing? Wouldn’t it be a perfect match?”     

He was surprised that he hadn’t thought of it immediately, and he answered excitedly, “Of course, Marlena it would be the best match you could ever expect to have! If he agrees… once the shock of it all passes, John’s body would more easily accept that man’s kidney better than any other. My God, do you know what this means to science, to medicine…”        

Marlena was thinking of all the ramifications. If the press gets a hold of this situation, the government… “If this gets out in the public, he’ll be a freak, a guinea pig for science. The government will want to study him and run a zillion tests.” She was becoming upset at the thought of what that would do to such a private man like he was, “Oh, Mike how can we put him through all that?”

“If you want to save John’s life, then we have no choice. We’ll just have to do the best we can to keep it from getting outside the hospital. In fact, maybe we should do the procedure elsewhere. I would consider that, but only if you and Mom think John can handle the move; his stability is paramount for this surgery and I won’t do anything to jeopardize that.”

It was all getting so overwhelming at this point. “Mike, we have to tell Abe and Bo, and Laura. We have to make some decisions very soon for both of them and for all of us as well. We can’t keep pretending nothing has changed. People are starting to ask questions about why I practically live here at the hospital these days and about the headaches the other John has been having, why I’m not seeing him.”           

“I know we do. I…keep running it through my head trying to think of how there must be some other conclusion I can draw from the data, but there really isn’t, is there? The John Black who has been living in Salem for the past three years is a clone, the first human clone, and Stefano Dimera is responsible for it, and for all the pain the man will feel when he learns the truth.”   

“This is so….sick. Poor John…he has all of my John’s memories and has no reason to think those memories aren’t his alone. He remembers thinking he was Roman and having to give up that life and all that went with it, and now it’s happening again. Oh God, how can we take his life away from him again?” She started to cry for him as she realized what it might do to him. Experiencing that kind of loss once had been shattering, but a second time….that could break him.        

“We will be here for him every step of the way Marlena and we won’t make him feel less valuable or less cared for in any way. It’s the best we can do. The hardest part will be you…he loves you Marlena, just as much as the man you found down in New Orleans and giving you up for good, knowing how you felt all along….”

“I know he loves me and I…love him too.” She couldn’t lie about it now. “It was this John that I realized I still loved after Roman left. So many things happened that made me re-experience the love we shared, and he was there for me so many times. Now it makes some sense, his total trust in Kristen was brainwashed into him and that’s why I got such mixed messages from him. I loved him, I do love him. Oh God forgive me, I love them both. Oh Mike, I….don’t believe this is

happening to me again.” Marlena could only cry at this point. There were no easy answers to be found here, this was the most difficult choice that could ever be faced by human beings. Mike held her in silence as they absorbed the magnitude of what they were all going to experience in the weeks and months ahead.

Is there a right of the first? What gives one that right and what if the first is sick, who gets to decide who lives the life only one can have? This is what cloning brings to man, agonizing choices. Is the clone just as human as the original person, does he/she have the same rights as a citizen of the world?

Those were the questions to be answered and perhaps why the movement had been slow toward this eventual state of affairs that Stefano and his hired scientists had presented now to the world in the form of a man named John Black. He had apparently used the first man and made sure the clone had all the same memories and then brainwashed into him the sense of complete and total trust in Kristen, so as to cause him pain if he didn’t do so. He also brainwashed the man to give confusing signals to Marlena by using the guilt he carried about hurting her and so many other people with the affair. In the meantime he had held the original captive in deplorable conditions, physically and mentally abusing him beyond description, all the while everyone he loved thought he was safe in Salem the entire time. Such evil had never before been perpetrated. Both men had suffered and would continue to do so long after the crisis was over. There were two identical men left to decide which one could have the one life that each believed was his own. There were no words that could truly capture the excruciating emotional pain they would endure.

There was the potential for a wonderful, close friendship or for bitter enemies to be formed from such a bizarre circumstance. At this point it was anyone’s guess as to which would happen. What if the second John said no to giving up a kidney? Knowing him the way they did, that did not even seem possible, but someone once said, “desperate times call for desperate measures.” What if he wanted the life so much that he would let the first John Black die to have it? What could they even do about it? Could they force him to donate the kidney, give him a sedative and operate without his permission as if he had no right to chose? Such questions were not meant to be answered by mankind alone, it seemed. Without God to intervene man might be left to use clones to provide for just such a purpose, creating organ donors or more soldiers to go into battle, or any number of other purposes not benefiting the cloned individual himself. This was truly a moral, ethical, and spiritual crisis they confronted, and so many people’s lives were to be affected by what was decided in this case.


Painful Encounter

Stefano had just gotten the news from the lab technicians at Salem’s University Hospital. His plan was working perfectly. They actually believe my John is a clone. HA HA!! Ah, this is glorious. He wished he could see their faces as they agonized over which one was really the original John Black, the pain the second man would face as he was informed of his predicament. This was his best plan ever. They would all be so distracted by the emotional aftereffects of the situation that he would have them right where he wanted them. The results of the lab samples were flawless and wouldn’t be called into question until the plan was well under way, and it wouldn’t matter by that time, for he would have the woman he coveted in his hands. Maybe, he would take both men as hostages, in order to get her to comply with his wishes. He still had not decided about that, because he did still want to see if he could ever completely break his enemy’s spirit. There was also the matter of Kristen and her belief that she loved her John Black. She was important, but not more important than his plans to have Marlena in his life. Nothing was more important than that objective.

After contemplating it for some time as he mulled over his next move on the chess board, Stefano decided what he wanted. He had to revise his plans to take her and then lure the men to try to find her; that was the delight of it, knowing that they would both drop everything else in their lives to chase him down in the attempt to rescue and bring her home. Stefano would have to wait until they were well enough to follow or the element of danger would be eliminated; however, taking her would be easiest when the two men were recovering from surgery. He knew that John was in need of surgery for a kidney transplant and the “clone” was supposed to provide that kidney. It would probably still work out as he desired, but one never knew about such things. In his weakened condition, John’s body might reject the donated kidney and then there would only be one man left.

Choosing another aria… one he used to play while he watched John on the monitor at Maison Blanche, he recalled the mind games and the tests of will, ‘What a pity for my true enemy to die like that instead of in battle with me. It seems against the order of things… Oh well, cest la vie. I will bring the other back to me and then he will substitute adequately as he now has all the same memories, and a few more encounters with me than John does. If they only knew the truth of who he is, it would be almost as shocking as what they now believe. And the fair Marlena… she must be so torn between them…. and now they’re both having such… heartache… I shall have you as my own… soon, my Queen, soon….’



John Black, the one who mistakenly married Kristen was getting restless hanging around the hospital and since Kristen had said she would be busy for a large portion of the day, he decided to start roaming the halls of the hospital. Maybe he could find Doc and talk to her, ask her if he had done something to upset her. He couldn’t think of anything at the moment, but she had cried a lot around him lately. She always had a reason, but still…..Could I be hurting her even more now? Does she still have feelings of romantic love for me? No stop it John that’s all in the past, you know it is. She said so several times and yet sometimes….

He shut his eyes as a headache started to form behind his eyes. ‘These things are getting worse,’ he thought as he felt the familiar wave of guilt about having hurt Marlena with his love. He had somehow been drawn toward the floor where John was staying; Marlena was in the hallway talking to Mike, Abe and Bo. The policeman whose job it was to watch the entrances saw him approaching on the stairs and caught him as he lost his balance from the intensity of the headache which increased as the seconds passed. “Uh…sir are you okay?” the man asked alarmed by the incident.   

The sound diverted the attention of the others and they came over to see what had happened, surprised to see the other John, who had by now collapsed into unconsciousness. Mike moved to examine him again. “Damm, these headaches seem to be getting worse every day. I’m really concerned about him. They aren’t just about Kristen any more, Marlena he gets them when he thinks of his feelings for you now too. He must have come looking for you.”

She cradled his head in her hands and stroked his cheeks, feeling her love for him flood through her body, followed closely by a pang of guilt, as if she had betrayed the real John. Oh God! This is so…..confusing. I’m not sure what I should feel for either of them. Am I betraying them both by loving them both…She stood up as if to run away from the hospital and never come back, so agonizing was this crazy situation she faced. She was put in this position before by the same evil bastard, Stefano Dimera. “Damm you Stefano for doing this to all of us again!!!” She shouted it out loud and her John heard and was worried for her. In his confused state, not realizing that he wasn’t capable, he tried to get out of bed to go to her. Because his room was only a couple of doors down from the stairwell, Abe, Bo and Mike heard him fall. They ran to help him, while Marlena stood slightly stunned, confused and crying about her impending dilemma.

At least the last time they were two different men; this was infinitely worse. She was in love with two virtually identical men, so much like each other in every way, except for their recent experiences and hers with them. My God, is there no way to keep from hurting the man I love? She came face to face with the full ramifications of her choice; she had to choose one of them, an impossible decision because she loved them equally.

After working to settle her jittery nerves, Marlena went in to the hospital room help the others reassure John that she was okay, cognizant that he wasn’t easy to calm these days. He seemed to need her near him almost any time he was awake, which actually wasn’t all that much. The kidney failure drained him of vital energy and he was sleeping a lot, which simply made the urgency all the more apparent to his friends. They couldn’t wait any longer; they had to tell each of the men about the other and give the second man a short time to make a decision about whether to give up a kidney for the original John Black.

Deciding that this was as good a time as any, Bo, Abe and Mike carried the unconscious man into the room and placed him on the other bed, and then pulled the privacy curtain. When he came back around, they would tell him he was the result of a madman’s dabbling in science and brainwashing techniques. What a shock it would be, but unfortunately there was no way to soften the blow. No matter what words they used he would be totally devastated to learn the truth, and it would no doubt send him back to a place he thought he would never visit again. This other John would feel much the same way he felt when he lost his identity as Roman Brady and with it everyone he had loved as his family for seven years.

Marlena and her friends stared at the two men, glancing back and forth between them but said nothing, knowing they all shared the same thoughts. They hated to destroy his world, but there was simply no other choice. One man they loved would die if they didn’t, and the other would continue to suffer terrible headaches because of what Stefano had done to his mind. Each member gathered around them silently prayed that God would cast his wrath upon the monster who led them all down the painful path that lay ahead.           

Within the hour both men started to stir and Laura had been called to join them when the truth was revealed. They decided to start by asking the man they found in New Orleans what he remembered, hoping he would be able to handle the memory now. Marlena sat at his bedside and asked him when he seemed completely awake, “John, honey we need to ask you again what you know about who the other man is. Can you remember?”       

He struggled with the memory, his eyes narrowing in concentration. “I….knew it…I…no….I can’t tell, mistake…not supposed to know.” He held his head in his hands, in obvious pain, “No, can’t remember….hurts to remember..” John cried out briefly then slumped back onto the bed, Marlena and Laura easing him down as he lapsed into unconsciousness.

“Obviously Stefano wanted John to be in the dark about this and he found out accidentally, so that monster brainwashed him to force him not to recall the truth. Damm him!” said Laura.    

Marlena was worried and so angry at the hideous man who had done this evil deed, “He is a sick Bastard!!” She looked down at John who had gone completely out and said, “Well, obviously John can’t be a part of this; there’s no telling the effect seeing the other man will have on him at this point. I think we have to tell the other one and let him see John while he’s asleep. What do you all think?”  

Everyone agreed to her suggestion and moved to the other side of the room to talk to the man they had all cared for as their friend John Black for the past three years, preparing to shatter his existence yet again. He was fully conscious and trying to figure out where he was at the moment, when Marlena’s face began to register. He started to grin with joy at the sweet sight of her, but the smile faded quickly, “Doc, hi what’s… going on here? Noticing the grim expressions on the faces of several close friends, he asked about it, “Why is everybody here, and why are you looking at me so strangely. Is there something seriously wrong with me?”

Marlena was so overwhelmed with the pain they were about to cause him she couldn’t handle it; she promptly burst into tears and ran out of the room. John was shocked and said to the others, as he stared at the closing door, “What is this all about, why is she so upset?” He hoped it wasn’t his fault, but somehow knew it had something to do with him.         

They stalled him, saying she was worried because his headaches were growing worse and he’d just collapsed. After several agonizing moments she returned and had managed to stop crying. Casting a glance at the others, she shared their conclusion that she should be the one to tell him. John sensed some monumental news was about to be passed on and said nothing, forcing himself to remain patient and take it at her pace. Marlena sat down and gently took his right hand in hers, saying, “John, there is something we have to tell you, and it’s going to come as a big shock. But we want you to know we all care very much about you, and what we tell you won’t change that at all, okay?”

Now he was scared. She was so serious and she seemed so sad to have to tell him whatever it was. He thought that maybe he was dying and she was about to tell him what was really wrong medically. Was it a brain tumor? So when she said the words he was so completely unprepared for them that it didn’t register for a long minute or two.  

“John, you are not exactly the man whom you believe you are. Stefano had been conducting some experiments and it appears as though you are the result of those experiments. We have run several DNA and other samples on you and a man whom we found down near New Orleans. Honey, the samples indicate that you and he are the same man. Now, since we know that is not actually possible, it leads us to the only logical conclusion that you are….a c..clone. John, we believe you are.. a clone of our John Black, who is here in the other bed as we speak. He called me the other day and we went down to rescue him. He has been held prisoner by Stefano all these years since Maison Blanche; Stefano sent you here to take John’s place.”

As he listened to her, the expression on his face made several changes. It went from one of believing this was some weird joke they were playing on him to total disbelief, then some sense of shock, and then the pain of some acceptance filtered through and there was agony. “Our John is here… in the bed next to you, he’s in pretty bad shape.”

He stood up as she finished her piece and went immediately to see the man she mentioned. He stepped around the curtain to look at the sleeping patient, and as he did, the reality began to set in, even as denial kicked into gear. The man in the other bed was weak, thin, obviously quite sick, and yet the essence of his identity was clear. John felt himself go weak in the knees at the same time as he felt a powerful rush of adrenaline from the flight-or-fight syndrome. He wanted to run away and not have to face this excruciating pain, but he found himself frozen in place as he stared at the sleeping reflection of himself.

John cried out the most anguished, agonizing and soul piercing cry one could ever imagine, his voice a ragged whisper “No Oh, God No! it can’t be! This isn’t real, this isn’t happening to me, No! NOT AGAIN!! He yelled, shaking his head in vehement denial. John fell to the ground on his knees putting his head in his hands feeling utter desolation. This kind of pain had never been experienced in quite the same way, for even when he learned he wasn’t Roman he knew there was another name for him, another life for him to live. Not so this time. There was only one life for John Black and he couldn’t have that life, because it belonged to the man lying in the bed in before him.

Marlena was choking back sobs for him as she watched him face the unbearable pain of losing everything he knew, again. She loved this man as much as the one in that bed and she wanted to say or do something that would provide comfort, but knew there was nothing on earth that would make the revelation less excruciating for him. Therefore, she stood up, slowly walking over to him, then knelt down to hold him as he fell apart completely. She would rock with him and cry with him, whatever it took to help him through it.

“Oh Doc….what am I gonna do? What am I… gonna do?” he asked, peering at her with moist pleading eyes. He was sobbing but strangely enough he made very little sound, his tortured cries were nearly silent, and his entire body trembled for the ravaging effects of the hideous truth of Stefano’s schemes to hurt them. This was more emotional pain than a human being should ever have to endure and she hated the fact that she had no answers to give.


Parallel Universe

Doctor Marly Edwards sat at her desk in Edinburgh, Scotland, looking sadly at a picture of the man she had loved for so many years, and the children they had created from that love. She had finally begun to move on with her life and had accepted a prestigious position at the University of Edinburgh in the Psychological Sciences department, where she would be doing research on memory and various techniques that suppressed or enhanced recall of stored memories. This was a very important project and she had been honored by the offer. The only aspect of it that left her with doubt was that it meant uprooting her two children and leaving behind their home and with it so many memories of her one true love, Thomas John Black.

He went by several different nick names, TJ, Tom, and of course John which he favored, as he had been renamed for his adoptive father. She loved him from almost the moment they met… No, that wasn’t exactly true, she had to admit. She had thought him overbearing and a little chauvinistic, but oh so sexy and sweetly romantic. He was a private detective and had been hired by the hospital where she was on staff as a neuro-psychologist. He was an expert in security systems and there had been some problems with some important research being done there, as well as a reported rapist on the loose. He had irritated the heck out of her with his overprotective ways toward the “vulnerable females” on staff.

Even so, on their first date he had gone a long way to winning her heart. In the years since then, there had been so much love, adventure, excitement, and two wonderful children, Brody(6) and Carly(4). Brody was blond haired and blue eyed like his mother and Carly had soft dark haired curls and her fathers’ brilliant blue eyes. They had spent almost three years now without a father, waiting and hoping for him to return. She knew it was time to move on and begin their new life, accepting the fact that he was gone.

Whatever had happened to him, if he were going to come back to them, it would have taken place already. The police believed he had been killed by one of the drug dealers he had stumbled onto during one of his cases at his small detective agency outside London. She had hoped and then grieved with the coming and going of each possible lead on his whereabouts for so long, and she finally had to let herself begin to face the truth, that he was never going to be found alive. Marly had played their songs and lit a candle for him and then cried her eyes out on the night before the movers came to the house, the one he had practically built with his bare hands. Oh, John I loved you so much and I thought our love would last forever! How could fate have been so cruel as to take you from me, from our children?

On moving day she stood in front of the house and went back in time in her mind, seeing

him standing on the roof in his black jeans and carpenter’s belt, smiling down at her, pride shining in his baby blues. “See Doc, it’s easy once you get the hang of it! He had been showing off his new found carpentry skills and then almost fell off the roof. They both had a good laugh about that one, once her heart stopped threatening to blow a gasket, as he grabbed onto the chimney to stop himself from falling.

It made her smile to think of those days… He had been so happy to do the work himself and so pleased with his accomplishments. TJ had always wanted to build her a dream house, just the way she wanted it to be, he said. “Oh, John goodbye honey, I’ll always remember you this way.” She broke down in tears once more as she got into the car for the drive to the airport and the beginning of her new life, without him.

The sound of her phone ringing snapped her out of her memories and brought her to real life, “Marly, it’s Bill. You’re not going to believe this… but I found him! I really think I found Thomas John and he seems relatively well.”

“No…how could it be, after all this time? how? where?” She was so excited she could hardly speak so she just decided to listen to the long time friend of her husband.

“Listen, I’m in Salem, a small mid-western city in the States; my aunt lives here and she fell and broke her hip a week ago. I was at the hospital visiting her and I saw him there, Marly. I swear it was him, but he didn’t recognize me at the time. He seemed to be lost in thought and in a lot of pain from a headache. I hung back and watched him for awhile and I’m sure it’s him, but he doesn’t seem to remember his past. He goes by the name John Black with no mention of Tom or Thomas and he’s married to someone named Kristen Blake.”

“Oh, no that can’t be, Bill! He would never just leave me and marry someone else like that. He…loved me with all his heart, I know he did!”

“Marly calm down, I told you he seems to have no memory of his past with you, something is very wrong and I’m going to try to get close enough to find out exactly what it is.”

She was beginning to accept the reality that her husband was alive and the name of the woman Bill Brody had mentioned had rung a bell with her. “What was the name of the woman? Kristen Blake, isn’t that the adopted daughter of that evil man TJ was always trying to get enough information on to put in jail for the rest of his life? He hated that man for what he did to the family.”

Bill hadn’t followed all the details of what at times amounted to an obsession for his friend as closely as Marly and knew of a daughter but…”Yea, come to think of it you’re right. I can’t believe this. Marly do you think this is all part of Dimera’s plan to stop TJ from taking him down? I remember the threats he was getting just before he disappeared, we thought they were related to another case, but maybe that was all part of Stefano’s plan.”

“If you’re right then he is in so much danger and he doesn’t even know it. We have to do something, Bill. I’m coming there on then next flight, as soon as I tell the University that I’ll have to delay my work on this project. John needs me and I’m coming there to help him. Now give me the details on where you are and I’ll see you in less than 24 hours. I’m going to bring the kids and a nanny from the agency to help with them while you and I are busy.”

He didn’t want her to be hurt, but he had to remind her, “Marly, remember he probably doesn’t even know about you. I’ve heard about Stefano and his brainwashing…Tom might not recognize you or the children right away.”

She sighed, not having gotten that far… “I know, but he still needs me and I am a professional in the field of memory research and can probably help him as much as anyone else. He gave her the information she needed and she ended the call by saying, “I’ll see you soon, Bill and thank you for being so… alert after all this time.”

“You know I’ve never really given up on finding him alive. He’s like a brother to me and I knew this day would come somehow. Can you call Gabe and let him know about this before you leave? He’d want to know even if he can’t leave his job with Scotland Yard to come here.”

“Of course I will, Bill and thanks again.”

As Marly flew across the Atlantic Ocean she felt a sense of hope return to her heart once again. She was going to see the love of her life, but she knew she had to control her emotions. Bill was right, TJ probably wouldn’t recognize her if Stefano had brainwashed him as part of some sinister plan to keep him from exposing all his evildoing and land the monster in jail for the rest of his life. But true love would win out in the end, as her adopted grandmother Mrs. Horvath had always said; that grand lady was always right about matters of the heart. She had been the one to encourage Marly not to give up hope of finding Thomas one day. Allison had known he was completely in love with Marly and would never intentionally stay away from her and their two beautiful children. “Oh, John I need you and want you back! Please God let him be alright and let us find each other again.”

Soon she was landing in the city of Salem, USA and she was filled with the sense that her life with Thomas John Black would be forever changed as a result of what happened in the next few weeks. She also had the feeling that she was about to make some lifelong friends which was quite strange because she had not had much time for friendships these past three years. Work and raising two small children had taken a large portion of her time, and she had spent many sleepless nights alternately crying herself to sleep and waking up from dreams about him coming home. Of course, the Brody family had always been there for her, as had the Horvath’s. They were related by friendship and marriages and had always weathered the storms of life together. TJ’s disappearance had been one the worst of all, for he was respected and well liked in their community and circle of friends.

Her husband’s only enemy was Stefano Dimera. He hated the man with a fierceness that sometimes frightened her, but he had good reason. That sick man had ruined his adoptive parent’s marriage and the family by seducing his mother and leading her down a path that she would never have taken without his manipulative interference in her life. He was evil incarnate, taking what he wanted with no regard to who was hurt by his actions. The marriage had ended in a nasty divorce and his father had never really gotten over it, nor had his mother and sister. If TJ could have killed the man he would have, but the man was a slippery snake and kept evading him and the authorities at every turn. “One day,” he said, “I am going to take Dimera down and he will pay for the pain he has caused so many people.” Stefano had tried to have him killed on several occasions and also kidnapped him, but he had managed to get away with little damage both times. If Stefano had something to do with his disappearance and later his arrival in the city of Salem, there was no telling what danger lay ahead for all those involved.


Looking Into The Mirror      

John Black couldn’t help but be awakened by the noise in his room and he felt so disoriented. He had heard himself cry out and yet he had been unconscious and so he was confused. Or was he dreaming? Opening his heavy eyelids, he saw someone kneeling on the ground in front of his bed, Marlena was holding whoever it was. He struggled to clear his vision and what he saw was overwhelming. It was as if he were looking in the mirror at his healthy reflection and Marlena was there too.

His mind couldn’t handle the image as it conflicted with the memory that Stefano had tried to brainwash out of him. He cried out, “No…not supposed to see him, can’t tell them what I know…No!” He shook his head violently back and forth as if trying to banish the image imprinted in his mind now. A fierce headache always followed any attempt to recapture the memory of who the other man was and this time was no different. No…it hurts, stop, don’t try to remember John! He pushed at his temples as if to push the memory and image out, the pounding pain rapidly becoming intense. “No…can’t be him!”

Marlena was alarmed at what she saw and heard from him and felt she had to get the other John up and out of the room, but he was so devastated that wasn’t possible either, so she decided to let it play out. This meeting had to happen sooner rather than later anyway, so she stood up and approached the bed, talking softly to her John. “Honey, it’s okay. You can remember now, Stefano can’t hurt you any more. The man who is here is real and he is just like you, a victim of Stefano. Calm down and you can talk to him, alright?”

He still fought it, but she seemed so calm and that meant it must be safe to remember now, so he tried to slow his breathing, tentatively opening his eyes again. John saw that same reflection in front of him and it was frightening. He didn’t say a word and he saw the shock, confusion, and fear he felt reflected in the other’s face, as if it were a mirror of his soul.

The other man didn’t speak either and it was as if they were paralyzed to do or say anything at all but stare at each other.

Abe, Bo, Laura, Mike and Marlena stood there with a feeling of incredible tension,

wondering what might happen in the next moments. Marlena stayed at the bedside of the original for support, most worried about his reaction in his somewhat confused state because of the kidney failure. The silence was deafening in its stillness and not a muscle was moved as the men took in the sight of each other. It was a bizarre experience, observing as they began to accept the reality that there were two identical men with the same name, memories… everything but their experiences over the past three years.

The second man had a full lifetime of memories stored in his brain and the life of John Black was just as real to him as to the original man. Finally, the second one walked over to the one in the bed to get a closer look, a strange, sad smile gracing his lips. Then he held out his hand, and introduced himself, “Hello, I’m John Black the second and I’m pleased to meet you, John I presume.”

This was all it took to cut the tension and everyone in the room let out a held breath, and knew that for the moment it would be okay. An identical smile came to John’s face and with a slight twinkle in his eye that had been conspicuously absent said, “Amazing, how in the world did you know my name?” and he held out his hand to shake as well.

The other man couldn’t help but notice the scars around John’s wrist and he winced at the sight, then let go fairly abruptly, the guilt slamming him in the gut. “I’m so sorry for what he did to you, John. I didn’t know anything about it, I hope you believe that. If I had I…” As he looked closely he saw how thin and weak John was and he shut his eyes for a moment, clenched a fist and then said quietly, “I stole your life from you, you must..hate me. What he must have done to you…Oh God I’m so sorry about everything.”

John had felt some of what the other man had said and when he was held in the dungeon. Stefano wanted him to hate the man, but now he was here standing in front of John and it was clear that he felt horrible. John could tell he was sincere; he knew the facial expressions, they were exactly like his own, and he would have seen right through the man if he were lying. No, this man had no idea of what Stefano was doing. He was another innocent pawn in a sick madman’s need for power and control over other people. “I do believe you and I don’t blame you, only Stefano is responsible here. We are his victims in the sick little games he plays with people’s lives.”

John had tapped into the anger that was always there ready to spill out if given the

opportunity, “Damm him, he has put us in the most horrible position imaginable, two men with one life to live. He is going to pay for this. I’m going after him and I swear to you he will suffer for what he did to you, all the pain he must have inflicted on you, John. That sick bastard will suffer tenfold for it!!” The man started to leave the room to find the evil monster and Bo, Abe and Mike stood in his way.

“Wait, please. We need to ask you something,” said Mike. Marlena then slowly approached him and put a hand on his shoulder, feeling him tense at her touch. He knew she belonged with the other man and it killed him to have her touch him now.

She sensed what he was thinking and removed the hand as she spoke to him. She pointed to John and said, “John is very ill, there was serious damage to both of his kidneys because of what Stefano did to him and he’ll…die without a healthy kidney for transplant. Would you please consider donating one of your kidneys to him so he can live?”

The second man looked at Marlena and saw the fear in her face and then to John and saw the same, though it was slightly hidden and then without any hesitation said very firmly, “Of course I’ll donate a kidney to John. You just tell me when and where to be and you’ve got it.”

She hugged him tightly, her voice filled with great emotions as she expressed her gratitude, “Oh, thank you so much. Thank you for being willing to save his life!”

He shrugged and asked, “Marlena did you think you would get any other answer than that? You know me, you had to know I would say yes.”

Marlena said, “Yes, you’re right. I shouldn’t have had one doubt in my mind about what you would say. I….trust you and believe in you, John and somehow.. we will all get through this.”

He dropped his head and said faintly, “Yea…sure we will.”

John was completely silent; watching this interaction; he could tell that Marlena loved the man. ‘She loves him just as much as she loves me’ he thought, maybe more. Oh Doc, what are we all going to do? He was the one who was there for you several times when you really needed someone these past few years and your friendship deepened with him, not me. Oh no, what if she chooses him over me? What will I do without her in my life? Stop it John, you can’t think about all that now. He was getting fatigued again, it didn’t seem to take much these days as the kidney failure and his generally poor condition seemed to drain him of most of his energy and he slept most of the time now. He had tried to eat more and gain the weight they had told him he needed, but his appetite wasn’t good and he was often too tired to even feed himself. They had him on IV fluids and nutrition to supplement what he did eat and he had gained a few pounds, but not enough.

As he faded out again he heard them planning the details of his surgery and then Marlena and the other John began to talk about what had passed between them over the years. John hoped she still loved him and wanted him, but wondered because he was so sick and weak and the other was so strong and healthy. Maybe….Stefano was right… maybe she.. won’t really want me now. That question was the last semi-coherent thought he had as he lapsed completely into unconsciousness.

Two Men Two Surgeries    

It was 6:00am and two men prepared to have major surgery, and one of them was trying to convince a curious woman that there was nothing to be concerned about. John was becoming exasperated with her, his tolerance for her whining much reduced now that he knew what she was really like. “Kristen, would you please stop worrying about me, I told you I’m helping out someone who was going to die without my help. There was someone who really needed a kidney and I volunteered to be tested for compatibility and everything checked out so I’m helping the person out. Mike said since I’m in good health it shouldn’t be any problem. In a few weeks I’ll be good as new and a pound or so lighter, that’s all.”

He prayed she didn’t argue because if she did, the headache…Oh God, please let her accept this explanation for the surgery. She gave him a very questioning expression, but let it drop as he faded out under the influence of the anesthesia. Kristen knew something was going on, but she couldn’t figure out what. Mike had been very elusive about the cause of John’s headaches, giving her a lot of medical

jargon she didn’t really understand, and was uncomfortable asking about. What is going on around here? Marlena had made herself scarce when she had been hovering around John for so long and whenever I have come to see John he isn’t in his room, but he isn’t with her either. And now this kidney thing comes up. I just don’t get it at all, but I will find out soon.          

Upstairs in the room with the patient in need of a healthy kidney, Marlena was talking to him and trying to boost his failing spirits. He had been feeling so weak and tired. His weight had stabilized at about 15% below ideal for his height and bone structure and his appetite had improved somewhat, but he was still easily fatigued and slept a lot as the kidney failure progressed before surgery could be arranged. “John, the surgery is going to work out fine and you’ll feel a lot better very soon. Please believe that, and then you and I will start fresh together.”

That last comment had gotten a response, but not the one she hoped for. He seemed very discouraged about something related to it and she waited for him to say what it was, “Doc..I’ve been thinking and if..you choose..him I…I’ll understand. I know it’s been him who has been there for you these past few years….he saved you from Stefano a couple of times and then the real evil.. he saved you from that too. You must really love him…” He couldn’t completely keep it together and he was lying about understanding and being able to let her go and so he stopped.       

She felt horrible for him and she knew he had seen the way she looked at the other man sometimes with the same love she had for him. And she had talked a lot with him while John had been so sick and sleeping so much of the time. “Oh, John..don’t worry about that, please. I love you very much and that hasn’t changed. It’s just a little confusing sometimes, that’s all. John, we will make sense of all this at some point I know we will, but right now the most important thing is for you to have this surgery and get well. Then we can sort out all of this craziness.”

He wanted to believe her, but he could see the confusion and doubt in her eyes even as she tried to reassure him of her love, “Oh, Doc..I can see the confusion in your eyes.. I don’t want to lose you again…I couldn’t take that.” Then with a touch of bitterness said, “I’d rather die in that operating room than face losing you again.” He said it with such emptiness and she could tell he meant it. She had to do something to reassure him before he went into surgery.   

“Oh John, honey don’t talk like that, you don’t mean that!”    

“Yes I do, Doc. I’m sorry if it upsets you and I really want you to be honest with me, but I’m telling you the only thing that kept me alive when Stefano had me was the thought of my love for you. That and the idea that maybe you loved me too and we could be together someday. Now if that isn’t true I would just as soon die on that operating table because it takes more energy than I have right now just to get through a day.”        

“I can’t believe this is the same John Black who would fight for love and life at any cost. Have you given up on me that easily, John?”

He felt the anger rising in response to her challenging remark, “Easily…easily? I just spent three years in a…hell hole, don’tyou talk to me about giving up easily! I…gave all I had inside, every ounce of strength and hope I could find..to fight off that bastard and he damm near killed me.” He had started to cry as he continued, “Look at me Marlena, look at me! I look like a damm skeleton….don’t you dare say I gave up easily!” and he had to stop at that as he had used up his last reserves of energy and the anesthesia was taking effect

She held him and cried too and said, “I’m sorry John, I just want you to keep on fighting. I need you and I do love you. Yes I’m a little confused about my feelings, but I’d be lost without you. Please fight to live, for me and for yourself, John.”     

He was quiet for a moment and then answered her, “I guess I didn’t really mean all that, I’m just scared, Marlena. I love you so much and just the thought of losing you to him…hurts so bad. Don’t worry, I will try to fight for you, the kids and for me too.” Then he nodded off as the anesthesia put him all the way out.

Several hours later in surgery, John was about to receive the donated kidney and the donor was already in the recovery room resting comfortably with no complications thus far. Mike was concerned about how well this surgery would go as John had not come even close to where he needed to be for a good prognosis. He was still dangerously underweight and his general condition only fair at the time of surgery. He had not seemed to regain his usual positive fighting spirit and seemed to be giving in to despair when his kidneys had started failing so badly.

He had not said it directly to Mike, but John somehow believed that Marlena was going to choose the man who donated the kidney over him and no amount of encouraging comments had any impact. His mood was depressed much of the time, but he adamantly refused to see a psychological professional, saying that nobody could ever understand what he went through and talking about it wouldn’t change it so why should he bother reliving it with a stranger. Mike knew that if he were ever going to talk about his ordeal with anyone it would be Marlena.           

A few hours later the surgery was completed. John had one code while on the table, but had been revived quickly and by the time surgery was over the best that could be said was that he had survived it. Only time would tell and that trite phrase was true this time. There was a long road ahead, but with faith, a lot of support and a little luck John would make it through for a full recovery.

Marlena had gone in to see both men as they came out of anethesia. Kristen’s John had already awakened and seemed none the worse-for-ware. She stayed long enough to thank him again, but no more because she didn’t want to arouse Kristen’s suspicions. She could not say the same for her John. He had stayed under anesthesia for a longer period and his condition preceeding

surgery was much worse. So, she sat at his bedside and just watched his slow breathing and prayed he would be allright. It was a long many hours before even a flicker of movement was seen. His eyes struggled to open and he tried to talk, but found the words wouldn’t come and he was frustrated. It was as if he just couldn’t muster enough energy to speak so he tried to reach a trembling hand toward Marlena’s face as she looked down at him with worry. The hand fell on the bed after it was only a few inches in the air. “Doc,” he said, finally able to whisper her name. She reached out to touch his face.

“Oh honey, you made it through the surgery. You have a battle ahead, but you can do it, John. I know you can.” She could see him trying, wanting to believe her words, but he was having a tough time of it.           

“I…did make it, didn’t I?” He had needed to hear that and then he said, “I’m going to keep on fighting Doc. I…want you in my life and I’ll do anything I can to show you how much I love you.”

That was all he had the strength to say and he began to drift off to sleep again. This time he had a slight smile on his face.    

Marlena sat with him for as long as she could handle staring at him and hoping to God that he had the physical and emotional strength to recover and allow his body to accept the kidney.

When she looked at him she had to wonder; what a contrast it was between the two men. One was strong, full of energy, and healthy except for the brainwashing to trust Kristen and the headaches with which she had planned to help and the other was sick, weak, and so depleted. What Stefano had done to him this time seemed to have taken some vital spark of life from him and she wondered if he would ever be the same man she had fallen in love with. He seemed wounded in spirit and she was worried that it was a deep wound that might never truly heal.

Marlena had to remind herself that it had not been long since they found him and his kidney failure had left him fearful of death, extremely fatigued and significantly confused because of the buildup of toxins. His mood would most likely improve as his overall physical condition improved. It was really too soon to make any true assessment about how the ordeal had affected his mental state because of the medical problems. Marlena wanted to think of some way to help him and reassure him of her love. She decided to go back down to her office for awhile to think since he would probably sleep for several more hours.


That Twilight Zone Feeling           

Marlena Evans sat down on the small couch in her office to rest and to look at pictures of the two men she called John Black. They looked identical in the photographs, no discernable difference other than normal signs of aging in the pictures of John before and since the time she had returned from the Maison Blanche ordeal. This is so strange, she thought, and was trying to make some sense out of it all when there was a soft knock on the door; it was a woman about her same age who could almost be her twin.

She was stunned and found herself without a voice for a moment as the woman extended her hand and introduced herself, “Hello, I’m Dr. Marly Edwards and I believe you are Dr. Marlena Evans. I’m here to talk with you about John Black, my husband Thomas John Black, to be exact.”   

Marlena was overcome by the strangest feeling and she had to sit down immediately so as not to fall down. After taking a moment or two to catch her breath, she finally found her voice, “Oh, I…..I’m not sure what you are talking about. Why don’t you tell me what brings you here exactly and we’ll try to make some sense of this situation, all right?”  

The other woman smiled warmly as she sat down nearby, realizing that it was just as big a shock to Marlena as it had been to her when she first learned of the situation. “Certainly, Dr. Evans. Let me start by showing you his picture.” She handed a 3×5 snapshot to Marlena and the man pictured there was identical to the two men she called John; this was just so odd. Shaking her head, not able to put words to her reaction, Marlena showed her photo album to Marly. Both women were so stunned by the situation in which they unwittingly found themselves that all they could manage to do was stare at the pictures of the men who could be twins; sitting in silence for a long time before saying anything at all.           

Taking a deep breath, Marlena finally said, “Okay, now tell me about your husband Thomas. Gosh, does that ever seem strange to say.”    

Marly nodded and smiled politely and then without further discussion, launched into the whole story, “Well, he grew up in Western Europe and was apparently taken at birth from his biological parents. We, as in my friends and I, now believe he was an Alamain heir and was spirited away shortly after he was born, either to keep him from inheriting the family fortune or to protect him from the family’s enemies. Nobody seems able to confirm either story to our satisfaction. We do know that he was taken away from the hospital and adopted unofficially by a young couple that wasn’t really prepared other than financially for the responsibilities of parenthood.”

Marlena sat listening to what seemed like some sort of distant fairytale…. ” The Alamain’s somehow lost track of where he was or his biological parents themselves didn’t actually know about it and whoever did gave up on him. Anyway, his mother somehow ended up getting mixed up with an evil man by the name of Stefano Dimera and his manipulative ways caused the marriage to dissolve. A family with whom Thomas had become acquainted over the years, the Brody’s sort of took him under their wing. In fact that is where Thomas got his middle name John. He loved that family and was so grateful for their support, he changed his middle name in honor of the patriarch John Brody.”

There were questions Marlena thought to ask, but all she could find it within herself to do was nod and indicate that she was listening intently…

Cognizant that it had to be overwhelming….. Marly paused long enough to give Marlena the opportunity to process it all… before continuing as the woman indicated she wanted. “He picked the last name because he just thought if felt right somehow, he saw it someplace and it just seemed to be the name for him, so he had his name made legal as Thomas John Black soon after learning about being an Alamain. He just couldn’t handle being associated with someone as evil as Lawrence Alamain. Thomas always wanted to take him, and especially Stefano Dimera, down for ruining his family and so many other crimes. We, that is my friend and I, Bill Brody, believe that Thomas was kidnapped by Dimera because of his efforts against the evil crime empire, and held prisoner for a time before being sent here to Salem to become the John Black that you know and…care for so much. He has been gone for three long years and I thought he had been killed by some drug dealers until my friend Bill Brody found him here by chance.”     

Marlena was left speechless once again, shaking her head, her eyes wide with wonder, “My God, it all fits. They must be twins! They were separated at birth and then each ended up living in different areas of the world, doing similar things. That makes so much more sense than what we were thinking. Please tell me more about him, Marly… I’d really like to know.”     

It was going better than expected and Marly was pleased to talk about the man she loved to someone she knew would understand. Feeling more relaxed by the minute, she told the story of how they became involved, “Well, when we first met I thought he was a royal pain in the rear. He was hired as a security systems expert at the hospital where I worked as a neuro-psychologist. But, he had his charms and before I knew it I had given him my heart and we were married a year and a half later. We were separated by circumstances for awhile and then were reunited and had two children. He had a private detective business outside London and I worked at the hospital seeing some clients and doing memory research. Here are some pictures of the kids.”  

As the woman talked, Marlena was astounded at the parallel lives the two men had lived. There were so many similarities, right down to the names of their friends the Horvath’s and Brody’s, versus the Horton and Brady families in Salem, the ages of the kids, timing of the relationship and how it developed, even the looks of the women they married. “This is all a little overwhelming. I feel like at any minute I’m going to hear Rod Serling tell us we’ve just entered the Twilight Zone.”    

That elicited a welcome chuckle, “I know, I feel the same way. I’ve just had a few more days to settle with the idea. I..know about the other man and the kidney transplant. I didn’t want to interfere with that because I knew your friend would die without it, but now that it’s over I’d really like to see Thomas fairly soon. I…know he won’t remember me because of the brainwashing and that it’s all going to come as such a shock to him, but it’s been three very long years, Marlena.”

She felt for the woman because it had been that long for her too. Marlena wanted to help, but he had to be prepared. They had to make sure he was able to handle the news; he had been through so much pain, as had her John… The two women talked awhile longer and enjoyed comparing pictures of their children. The other children were opposites in terms of the boy being blonde like his mother and the girl being dark-haired like John, but otherwise so many features were very similar and it was eerie, but so fascinating… almost like a parallel universe from a science fiction movie.

Marly told Marlena that her Thomas John had spoken to her about some vague sense he had a twin who was in trouble and needed his help. And when Marlena asked about any specific times she said one she could remember was 1985 which was when John was first captured and held by Stefano and brainwashed to believe he was Roman Brady. As Marlena explained that part of the story, both women looked at each other and said, “We *are* in the Twilight Zone,” and then they laughed together and talked more about how strange all the similarities were between the lives led by the two men. Soon they were becoming friends and sharing all sorts of tidbits about their lives.

As the hours passed, Marlena began to feel so much better about her future with John. Now that she knew the other man had a real, loving family and base of friendships to go back to when he was ready, instead of being left to stay with the deceptive and manipulative Kristen because Marlena chose the other man. And the bonus was that her man now had a brother whom he could love, not someone with whom to compete. She decided that they should tell him first so that he might feel reassured of her love, hopefully beginning to recover more quickly with that assurance. And then together they could decide how to tell Marly’s husband about her and his two children.

Then she thought about the other question which had to be answered, ‘Now, what do we do about Kristen?’ she wondered. They also needed to decide when to start telling everyone in Salem about what had happened, not having revealed John’s ordeal to anyone besides the five who knew already, with the exception of Thomas John himself.

Finally, Marlena informed Marly about the relationship with Kristen and the belief that Thomas John had been brainwashed to trust in her completely and also about the friendship between he and Marlena. When the conversation was finished, Marly said she was glad that if he couldn’t be with her, he had a safe place to be and a person to care about him while he was away from his home and family. It was so similar to what Marlena had said to John when Roman returned and they had needed to break off their relationship in spite of the deep love that still existed between them at the time.

‘This is all so bizarre, ‘ thought Marlena and she explained to Marly what she had said to John, when it was revealed that he wasn’t Roman. Marly too, was amazed by the parallel lives the handsome identical twins had led thus far. Each was thinking of how their love would take the news of being a twin, certainly much better than that other strange notion.

They concluded it must have been Stefano’s way of causing them all even more pain than they had already suffered. He must have found out about them being twins somehow and then used them in his sick plans to have Marlena for himself, and as a way to take revenge on both men, ruining both their lives in the process.

At the conclusion of the hours long conversation, Marlena called Mike and told him what she had just learned. Wisely, he decided to run all the tests again, saying how thankful he was it could all be some mistake and that John’s body would probably still accept the kidney, because of the biological ties.


Introductions

The two ladies decided to go up and see John, as it had been several hours since the surgery, and he was probably going to be waking up again soon. It would help him to see Marlena there when he did. Marly waited outside John’s room while Marlena entered to check on him. She sat at his bedside to wait for a moment as he seemed to be coming around slowly.

His eyelids fluttered a couple of times and he looked through blurry vision to see his love sitting by his side as he had hoped, “Doc? Am I okay now…I’m not sure…where.. Oh, I guess I’m kind of fuzzy on things.”         

Taking a hand in hers she reassured him, “John, you’re coming out of anesthesia from your operation and it’s normal to feel a little strange. How are you feeling otherwise?”      

He was silent for a moment as if to take inventory and then said, “Uh.. I guess I’m doing okay, kind of feels like someone kicked me in the back though, you know where they operated but I’m alright in general. In fact, I think I’m getting.. hungry.” He smiled at that thought since his appetite had been so poor before the surgery.    

“Well, that’s good news, John. I’ll check with Mike and see what he thinks you should be eating so soon after the operation. But first, there is something I have to tell you and it’s going to come as a big surprise. I think it will be a good one for you.” She waited for a moment thinking of the exact words to use.

“What is it, Doc?”    

She let out a breath, and then still holding his hand, she just said it, “John, you know how we thought somehow that the other…John was a clone? Well that was as outlandish a notion as it sounded to all of us. John, I now have good reason to believe he’s your twin brother. You were separated when you were born and he was given away and then somehow… whoever made those arrangements lost track of him at a fairly young age. His real name is Thomas John Black and he was living in Europe with a wife and children when Stefano took him and made him a part of his sick plans to take revenge on you and kidnap me. There is so much more we have to tell you, but the basic situation is that you have a twin brother John.”          

He was in shock and he didn’t say anything for a long while; his mouth just wouldn’t connect with the thoughts in his brain. Finally, he found his tongue, exclaiming gleefully, “I have a twin brother? I have a twin, Oh My God…the other John is my brother! He started talking a mile a minute and Marlena had to slow him down a little. “This is…..incredible, he looks exactly like me. He has the same name, how did that happen? Can I talk to him? I want to see him!”

“John, calm down for a minute, would you? He doesn’t know yet and we have to decide what he’s ready to hear. You of all people know what it feels like to have an identity taken away and a new one to replace it. This is all going to come as a complete shock to him. Kristen, the baby everything he thinks is true. His…relationship with me and Belle and Brady… all of it; he has to give it up to go back to his old life, and that will be quite an adjustment for him.”

He stopped for a moment to consider how it would feel if it happened to him again, letting out a long breath as he responded more quietly. “Yea, it will be really rough, but I’ll be there for him, to help him make sense out of it and so will you, his family…everyone. We will give him all the love and support we can to help him accept the truth and find comfort during the transition period.” John paused as he thought about it all and then said with only slightly subdued excitement, “A brother, I have a twin brother and maybe we can be, I don’t know… close one day, like brothers should be.” John had the widest grin she had seen on his face since his ordeal with Stefano had ended and she was so pleased to see it there.

She smiled in return and then moved forward with the next step, “I hope so, John… I really do. Now, I’d like you to meet your brother’s wife, Marly Edwards and John…. be prepared, she looks a lot like me. It’s amazing all the similarities there are in your lives. I’ll tell you more about it later.”

Marlena waved the other woman into the room. John could do nothing but stare at the two women for the longest time, looking back and forth between them at least a half dozen times. John reacted exactly as they had expected. He couldn’t think of a thing to say except, “Uh….hi Marly, I’m John Black.., but oh, I guess you know that already. I’m really sorry for staring, it’s just that… you look so much like Marlena, it’s really bizarre.”

She had the same amazed expression on her face as she replied, “And you look so much like my Thomas… This is all so very strange. If I didn’t know better I’d expect some guy with a camera to come out from behind the door saying, smile you’re on candid camera.”         

“My feelings exactly,” said Marlena. “You know I’ve read cases like this before about twins who had no knowledge of one another living very similar lives. It’s very interesting and I believe there’s a journal article in this story somewhere for either one or both of us, Marly.”  

“Great, so now I’m a journal article in the making. You mean to take advantage of this situation for your career advancement. Marlena I’m surprised at you.” He winked and said, “So, you want to interview me baby, what are willing to give me for my information?” He was already starting to get that sparkle back in his baby blues and it warmed her heart.

“Well, hmm I think this requires some private negotiations.” She smiled warmly and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “We’ll talk later.” Then she turned to Marly who wore a familiar smile herself.

Shaking her head in wonder, she said, “So many similarities…. that sounds exactly like something TJ would say to me in the same situation.”

“Great minds think alike!” replied John with a sweet mischievous grin.

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” said both women in unison. He bore an expression of mock offense at their remark.

The three of them talked for a long while about Thomas John and what he and Marly had learned of his background and his battle to bring down Stefano. Subsequently, John shared some of his struggles with the monster. He was amazed at how much their lives paralleled each other’s. Then Marly showed him the pictures of the kids Brody and Carly, and even they had so many similar features to Brady and Belle. He couldn’t stop staring at them. “Wow, this is truly amazing, isn’t it?”

The women nodded their agreement.     

Noticing John was tiring, Marlena knew he wouldn’t say it, and took matters into her own hands. “Well, I think it’s time for this guy to get a little rest,” she said with a hand on his shoulder. “We can decide exactly what and when to tell Thomas tomorrow morning and then it will be time to let the rest of Salem know what’s been happening here. John we haven’t told a soul about your being found.”

Nodding, he said what was foremost in his mind, “I know and I want to see the kids so badly. Those pictures reminded me they’ve grown so much. I’ve missed so much of their lives. Can I please see them today Doc?”

She didn’t want him to develop any post operative infections, and kids were constantly being exposed to so many bugs. In addition, he was still so…ill looking and she didn’t want to alarm and confuse the children. She needed more time to consider the idea and confer with Mike. “We’ll talk about that after you get some rest, okay honey?” She saw Marly out and planned to meet with her in an hour or so to discuss how and what to tell TJ and to determine which techniques they might use to gently stimulate the dormant memories of his own life, without traumatizing him.

Marlena returned and sat down at his bedside again with a sigh that indicated she was a little worn out as well. John, who’d been thinking in more detail about what was ahead, asked a question, “Doc, do you think he’ll be okay with all of this, I mean… to him it will be like going through it a second time.. I don’t know if I could handle that.”

“Well, all I know is that Marly loves him as much as I love you and that kind of love can get you through just about anything there is to face. We both know that first hand. He also has two wonderful children who need him to be there, and some very good friends back home. I think with all of that going for him he’ll be alright eventually, just like you were John.”    

He was quietly contemplative for a long while and then he spoke of when it was his turn, “I sure wish there was a way to make it easier in the short run. Doc…there were times when..I…well I felt so….alone even when so many people were there for me, loving me, reaching out. I wish we could spare him that. But, we can’t, can we?”     

Shaking her head, having wished the same, she said, “No, unfortunately we can’t, John. But you can let him know it might happen and then when it does he’ll know he will get through it just like you did. Your help and support will probably mean as much or more than anyone else’s because you’ve been through it.”       

“I know and I will do everything I can to help him. After all, he’s my brother!” He said that last comment with such glee. It thrilled Marlena to see the twinkle in his eye and to hear the strength and light-heartedness beginning to return to his voice.

“John, I am so glad to have you back, you know that?” she said, leaning in to embrace him.    

He sighed contentedly and said, “Not half as glad as I am to be back Marlena. I love you and I missed you SO much. I thought I would never see you again and I…. I….” That was it, he couldn’t stay awake any longer and he fell asleep mid-sentence even as he tried to muster the strength to kiss her. She smiled and kissed him on the forehead, then tucked the blankets up around his sleeping form. Leaning down close to him, she put her head on his chest to feel him breathe and listen to the slow steady rhythm of his beating heart, feeling so very thankful for the opportunity.


Suspicions and Memories

John Black slept peacefully and soundly that night, experiencing realistically happy dreams for the first time in almost three years. He has such a sweet smile on his face, thought the woman who loved him, as she leaned in to kiss him lightly. Marlena Evans spent the night at his bedside holding his hand, wanting to be there if he awakened to calm him and reorient him if necessary, but mostly just to be near him. She was so glad now not to have to agonize over a choice between the two men, though she had to admit she still loved Thomas John, maybe even as much as this sleeping man, from whom she had been separated for three years.

However, at the same time Marlena was very happy for TJ that he had a loving wife and two beautiful children to share his life with instead of Kristen. And it made her feel surprisingly good to think about Kristen being the one left out in the cold after all the pain she had caused so many people. Marlena felt a hint of sadness for the baby, but maybe there was a way to help the child. If Kristen was proven to be a criminal then maybe the baby could be raised by someone who was truly capable of love.        

In the hospital room on another floor, TJ slept restlessly and his mind struggled to make sense of some strange flashes of memory he had been getting that day. There was a woman, a beautiful blond woman and two little children who had some of his features. Was it Marlena? No, but so similar and the kids looked familiar too. Names even came to him, Marly, Brody, Carly. Where did the names and faces come from, he couldn’t recall. A headache developed quickly as he fought the memory or was it a dream? “No, I can’t do this…can’t remember…it hurts!” The memory faded as he reached a fully awakened state with a throbbing head.

Kristen had been in and out of his room that whole day as she was still trying to make sense of his seemingly impulsive decision to donate a kidney to a total stranger. She hadn’t been able to gather any details about the recipient and Mike had still been so…evasive about the reason for John’s headaches. So, she was out of the room when he had the memory flashback and when his headache began. When she returned he was holding his head in his hands and groaning softly, mumbling unintelligibly. “John, what’s going on. You’re obviously in pain, did you call for help?” When he didn’t respond she planned to pursue it herself.

Then he spoke to her, “Oh….Kristen, I have a monster headache, could you please get Mike for me?”           

“Yes, I was on my way to find him when you answered me and I’m going to get him to tell me a lot more about what in the hell is causing these terrible headaches you’ve been having. I get the feeling there is more he could be telling us and I’m going to find out what!”  

Thomas John knew she wasn’t going to let it go easily unless he could find a way to assure her that the pain wasn’t bad and he tried unsuccessfully to hide it. “No, Kristen, please leave it alone. When he knows more he’ll tell us.”   

“John, what is going on with you? Don’t you want to know what is causing you such agony?”

Her suspicions were quickly being aroused again,” What are you hiding from me?”       

Her questioning him like this was enough to make a bad headache become skull-splitting. “Oh….God, my head. Kristen please don’t push me on this right now. Mike, just get Mike, hurry.”

He was near unconsciousness when she left the room.

Kristen was quite concerned for him, but she knew he was hiding something and she wanted to find out what it was, realizing Mike was heavily involved in whatever it was. She wanted to find him for both reasons. She finally found the blond haired physician near one of the labs and cornered him. She noticed a slightly guilty expression on his face as she approached him, confronting him, “Mike what is going on around here? I want the details about this kidney surgery. Who is the recipient and why did you need John to donate a kidney? He is up there right now in excruciating pain and you still haven’t found the reason for it. I demand you do more to find the cause of these terrible headaches he’s having!”        

“Kristen, I’m doing everything I can to figure out what is causing the headaches, please bear with me on it. Now about the kidney operation, John is being a good Samaritan and saving someone’s life and I respect him for that. The recipient wants to remain anonymous and we are honoring that request, so I can’t tell you any more than that. Anyway, let’s go on up and I’ll check him out right now.”        

As they rode up in the elevator, Mike was trying to decide what to tell Kristen that would get her off his back and John’s too as he surmised that the headaches were at least partly determined by her challenges regarding the operation. He had to work on the issue with the others about when and how they would inform the man of his true identity as John’s twin and his other life. Mike wanted it to be soon so that Marlena could begin to work on the triggers causing the terrible headaches the man was suffering. Finally he said, “Kristen, I’m going to need some privacy to examine John and then I’d like to meet in my office in about a half hour. I’ll go over all the test results with you and all the other things I’ve been doing to diagnose his problem, alright?”  

Still irritated but agreeable she answered, “I’d appreciate that very much, thank you Mike.”

Whew, he thought as they entered the room to see John was still in significant pain, having experienced more memory flashes while Kristen was gone. “Hey, Mike I guess she told you I was having a rough one,” he said, meeting the young doctor’s concerned gaze.  

“Yes she did. Let’s check you out here. Kristen could you please step outside and then meet me in the office like we decided earlier?”    

“Of course Mike, and thank you again.” She stood outside the door and tried to listen to what they were saying. She was frustrated in her efforts and decided to use the time to call Stefano because she hadn’t heard from him in so long.

She was upset and spoke quickly, “Stefano, where in the hell have you been? Things are getting a little crazy for me here. What is happening with your plans to take Marlena again? She has been acting very strangely lately. Do you have any idea about what is happening around the hospital here? Oh and get this… John donated a kidney to some stranger! And he’s having these wicked headaches and Mike Horton can’t figure out why yet. I can’t help but be suspicious about it all.”

Stefano was reluctant to answer her but then said, “Well, as far as Marlena is concerned my plans are progressing nicely and I should be able to make a move very soon. And about John, tell me what that is all about, why do you think he did it?” He wanted to know if she had any idea of the truth and he quickly surmised that she did not. However, her information did leave him with the realization that he needed to make a quick move while the men were in the thick of recovering. They would be physically weak and therefore would not be able to go after Marlena immediately. He could use their fear for her safety and their sense of helplessness against them.

When they did come, as they inevitably would… he would be in a good position to manipulate them and lure them to find him. It would be a little longer before the real John could join his brother but that was tolerable. He would keep one *entertained* while waiting for the other one to follow, and then he would have all three of the people he planned to control and manipulate right where he wanted them. In the privacy of his mind, he lamented the cost to his daughter, ‘I’m sorry about taking him away Kristen, but you were probably going to lose him anyway, once he learned his true identity.

The real John definitely loved and wanted Marlena now, of that much Stefano was certain. Stefano had tried unsuccessfully for three years to beat, drug and brainwash the memory of her and that love out of John’s heart and mind so that he could have her to himself. John’s will was incredibly strong and his love for Marlena even stronger. Stefano finally began to accept that he would never accomplish that particular goal. The best he could hope for was her compliance when John’s life and sanity were at stake. Now there were two men for whom she cared deeply… and if need be, he would use them both in order to have her by his side, however grudgingly.

Stefano proceeded to lie to his daughter, providing false reassurances, “Kristen, just relax and soon Marlena will be out of your way. And then everything will be fine with John. I’m sure he just felt bad when he heard about someone in need and decided to help the person. It is a pretty typical reaction for him, is it not? I doubt he and Mike are hiding anything from you. Mike probably just doesn’t know what the cause of the headaches is and he doesn’t want to admit that to you, especially after all the tests that have been run.”      

She decided that maybe he was right, maybe she was overreacting a bit. Or maybe she was becoming slightly paranoid with regard to the possibility of Marlena exposing her secrets. “Alright, but please get a move on here with this plan of yours.”

Back inside the room Mike was asking, “John, what’s happening? Did you and Kristen have some disagreements?”

“Yea, she was pushing me about the surgery, you know why did I decide to donate the kidney, who the recipient was, etc and it felt like my head was about to explode. But Mike, before that I had these images of…a woman and two children and the kids have my features. The woman could have been Marlena’s twin sister. What do you think it means Mike?”

Mike knew because Marlena had just told him and he had met the woman. John was right about her, she looked very much like Marlena. The three of them had just spent an hour or so discussing exactly what and how soon to tell Thomas John about his true identity and his life with that woman and two children he mentioned. “I don’t know what to say, John. Do you think they were memories from your past?”

“I…I’m not sure. Some names came to mind too, Marly, Brody and Carly. I….must know them from somewhere but…where? He struggled to recall more detail and the headache flared fiercely. “Ohh, Mike, my head feels like it’s on fire!”

“Just lean back in the bed, I’m going to get you something for the pain. I’ll be right back.”          

“Okay, thanks Mike.” As he did what the doctor ordered he started to feel lightheaded and the flashes of memory came again and he remembered something else, “Doc, I…love you, Doc!”

The memory of calling out to someone that way was the last one he had before dropping off to a restless sleep again. But was it Marlena or someone else?

After leaving to get the medication, Mike made a quick call to inform Marlena of what TJ had remembered. Since he was already beginning to remember on his own, they made the decision to tell him the whole story the next morning. The only major complication was what to do about Kristen. They weren’t really worried about him being upset about losing her, it was more about how and what they would tell her after he knew the truth of his identity and his past. TJ had seemed to be pulling away from her already during this ordeal with the headaches.     

Marlena informed Mike that she had also told him earlier about the lies and deception perpetrated by Kristen, including Laura’s recollection which had yet to be proven. They knew that if she found out what was going on, she would go straight to Daddy Dearest, if he were indeed alive as they now believed, with whatever information they gave her.

Thomas John had been very upset at himself for having been deceived, and concerned about Marlena’s pain. He had told her among so many other apologetic words, “I’m so…sorry, I should have known.” Then she explained the theory of Stefano brainwashing him… planting the total trust and belief in Kristen in his mind. He was able then to realize that it wasn’t his fault, that his unwavering belief in Kristen was forced upon him. He still felt bad about Marlena’s suffering as well as profound regret about not having revealed his true feelings for her, even with the knowledge that he was not the man with whom she had originally formed the soul deep bond of love. Marlena explained from what John told her that Stefano had also used John’s guilt feelings about the affair to cause TJ to hold back in telling her of his love, so that she would be left vulnerable. That way Stefano could more easily take her away while *John* was occupied with his new wife and baby. Once again, this possibility seemed to give him some relief from self-blame about what Marlena had endured because of Kristen and his relationship with the woman.

Though Marlena hadn’t said she had made a choice, he could see it in her eyes and the way she couldn’t quite meet his like she used to do. He was so disheartened to realize that, and wondered whether it might have been him she picked if he had only told her of his love, say two years earlier in Aremid. He tried to hide his sadness from her, but she knew how he must be feeling, so much like she felt when she thought he had chosen Kristen over her.

Yet she couldn’t talk about it with him in depth, not until he knew who he really was, and that there was a woman who loved him the way he deserved to be loved, completely and unselfishly. When he knew those truths she could be more open with him about how she had felt and allow him to share his feelings too. They would need to have some long talks and come to a better understanding of their relationship. Only then could they begin to let it go.

She vowed not make the same mistakes she had made when Roman returned. Marlena planned to be more open with John about her feelings for TJ; he deserved to know the truth and so did TJ… and they would say a proper goodbye this time. She would grieve the loss more openly, and even though John would be hurt by the depth of emotion she felt for the other man, he would not suffer the terrible pain of betrayal Roman had endured when she and John had their affair.


Hello My Brother     

Without giving many details Marlena Evans asked Jennifer Horton to please keep Kristen Black well occupied for the morning with concerns about her mother and her memories so that the others would have adequate time with Thomas John. Jennifer was somewhat reluctant, so Marlena told her just enough to convince her it was necessary. Jennifer did trust Marlena and she complied with the request without further question. They planned to tell TJ the news about being a twin and having a wife and children who loved and needed him. Being a twin would be much better news than they had last given him.

At one point, he had told Marlena that he wasn’t truly fulfilled in his life with Kristen and the baby, though he had cared for her and he loved their infant son. This was during the same conversation in which she told him all about the woman’s schemes to keep him and the theory about the brainwashing, and that being the source of his terrible headaches.

Marlena, John, Mike, Marly, and Laura were John’s room talking about what exactly was to be said and when Marly should be brought into the room and the children as well. She was very anxious to see the man she loved, but she did not want to cause him undue stress so she planned to wait in Marlena’s office until called. Mike went to TJ’s room and wheeled him to his brother’s room. TJ’s recovery was proceeding very nicely and he was in much better shape to be moved. Besides that, no one in Salem, outside of the initial group, knew about John’s return. That would all change after this next meeting was over. John had called TJ on the phone and told him he wanted to thank him for saving his life in person. Of course, the man agreed.

John was quite anxious and he said, “Marlena you’d better do all the talking at first. I’m afraid I’m just too excited about having a twin brother and I’ll say too much too soon!” He was smiling so brightly and he seemed to be gaining vigor by the minute.

She was so pleased to see the change in him and she had to comment about it. “John you really are happy about this aren’t you? I have been so worried about you, but you seem to be getting stronger every day.”   

“Yes I am. I know there’s a long way to go until I’m as strong and healthy as I once was, but it feels great to have you back and to have a brother I can love, not like Lawrence. I think TJ is a good man, I sense it and I believe we could be really close one day. And that means so much to me, Doc. I don’t have anyone who is my own family member to love and this is like a gift from God to come out of all the misery I endured with Stefano.”      

His last sentence brought the reality of what he’d suffered to mind. She looked at the angry marks on his wrists and shuddered, wondering how he could focus so well on someone else, “Oh, John we have so much to talk about when you’re ready, but right now I am so glad for you and TJ. I know how important family is to you and this is an opportunity to have the relationship you couldn’t have with Lawrence or Vivian. You know he’s really going to need you to get through this transition.”     

“Yes he is, and I’m going to be there every step of the way.”

A few minutes later Mike returned with TJ and the others had gone. Everyone agreed it was best if only John and Marlena were there when he was told about his true identity. Mike and the others stood by if needed.

There was an awkward silence which was broken by TJ, “Okay, what’s going on you two? I get the feeling there’s something you want to tell me, he asked, somewhat anxiously, while shuffling his feet.           

Marlena and John exchanged glances saying Here we go. Then Marlena said, “You’re right, we do. John, you know what we told you before about who you were…well we were wrong. We think…we have good reason to believe that you and John here are….brothers, twin brothers.”      

Stunned, TJ stared into John’s blue eyes with intensity for several lingering moments before a slow knowing smile spread across his face. “I know.. don’t ask me why or how, but I have always known deep in my soul that you were out there somewhere, John.” This was one memory that came back instantly, “I…sensed you sometimes. A few times I….felt your pain…and I knew you needed my help. I was so…frustrated because I couldn’t find you.”

John was surprised by his response, “Wow! Really…I’ve had a strange feeling once in awhile, but nothing definite. I learned to dismiss it and then I found out about Lawrence.”     

TJ said, “Yea…. Lawrence.. helluva a guy for a brother, huh? I always hated him before I knew about being an Alamain..and then..”

“I know, me too. I felt something….different afterward, but I still hated him,” finished John.        

Full realization was starting to hit TJ and he started asking questions faster than John and Marlena could answer, “Wait a minute, if I’m your twin, then what exactly happened to me? Where do I belong? What was my life like? Do you even know?”     

“Whoa, slow down a minute and we’ll tell you, said Marlena. “For one thing, we believe Stefano took you away from your life and brainwashed all of John’s memories into you, a whole lifetime of memories except for some gaps he has from what that Bastard did to him years ago. We think Stefano found out about you being twins and set out to use you both in his plans for revenge against John and his sick…obsession to have me for himself. He planned to take me away because he thinks he loves me and that one day I will love him in return.”         

John continued, “You were living outside of London and you were a private detective with a small agency and you had reason to take Dimera down. You were too close for comfort and he took you, but made it seem like some drug dealers you were investigating had killed you. Then when he had taken as many of my memories as he could and planted them in your mind he sent you to Salem in my place and he kept me down in New Orleans. Marlena thought she went back to Salem with me, and all that time nobody knew I was still being held down there.”

John couldn’t continue as he became immersed in what he had experienced both in the preparation stages for TJ and after. He hadn’t done much reflecting yet because he had been so sick, but just telling this much started him on the road to that process. He vaguely remembered long days of having to tell Stefano intimate details of his life while drugged almost into a stupor. Marlena quickly surmised what was happening and went on in his place while squeezing John’s hand to let him know she understood what was happening and that they would talk later.    

“TJ, we think he placed the post-hypnotic suggestion about the total trust in Kristen and left you with John’s feelings for me as well, just to confuse you and leave me vulnerable to his plans. Then when he took me, he would still have John to use in order to get me to go along with his madness.” She shuddered as she thought of how evil the man was to play with so many people’s lives for his own sick desires. “All the while nobody would be the wiser about John being held.”           

TJ was horrified to have been used in this way and couldn’t help but feel some guilt about having hurt people, even though unwittingly. “I’m so sorry, what a sick son of a bitch he is…If I ever get my hands on that Bastard… I’ll kill him!”  

John snapped out of his troubled thoughts at that, “Me, too. Brother, me too and when I’m strong enough… I’m going after him. The time has come to put an end to his evil.”           

Reacting from fear, Marlena yelled at both men she loved, “NO! that’s exactly what he wants from you both. Can’t you see that? He wants to bait you to come after him…so he can try to best his two fiercest enemies!”     

Nodding, TJ agreed, thankful for her rational influence in the face of their fury, “You’re right, we can talk about all that later. Right now.. I want to know about my life. Was I alone or….Wait! Those images I was getting yesterday, the woman, and the two children…was I? Is she….”

Marlena answered, “Yes, you are married and you have two children. Your name is Thomas John Black. You picked the last name arbitrarily, as did John. Apparently your original adoptive parents’ marriage was broken up by Stefano’s manipulative ways when you were quite young. Your unofficial adoptive father’s name is John Brody so you went by John most of the time. You changed your name to reflect your love for him when you found out about being an Alamain.”

“Whoa, that’s a lot to take in all at once. I’m…married to someone other than Kristen and she looks like you, Doc and I have two children almost the same ages as Belle and Brady? Kristen…she’s just like Stefano but the baby…I…really love him. Marlena how can I walk away from him and….you…Belle, Brady…everyone I love here….again? It feels like I’m doing it again but the memories aren’t mine, they’re John’s…” He was overwhelmed, his mind and emotions in such turmoil trying to process all the new information.

Breathing hard and fast with anxiety, John’s twin stood up out of the wheelchair wanting to leave the room, to take a walk and try to make some sense out of what he had just learned. But instinctively, he knew he needed these two people to help him with it, so he stayed. “This is so….incredibly confusing…it’s too….much…I have to…think..I can’t think… I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to feel…” He walked over to the window and stared out over the city in silence. They waited patiently for him to assimilate whatever he could.

Finally, he shared some of his thoughts with them. “This city..it feels like my home but it isn’t. I don’t belong here at all… and the people I love, they aren’t mine to love. Oh….how am I gonna do this? Please tell me how?” He was in anguish over it, a pool of moisture forming behind his eyes. John knew exactly how he felt. The memories were right there… fresh as the day it was himself in this position.

“TJ, believe me… I understand a lot about how you’re feeling because as you know, I’ve been exactly where you are. I know it feels really frightening right now… and like you won’t survive it, but you will. You have people who love you to help you, and all of us here in Salem will be there for you. Everyone who has been your friend will continue to love you. Accept what they offer, TJ. The biggest mistake I made was in not letting them give me support because I thought it was about my name, and I thought that they all felt sorry for me. But that wasn’t true. They love you for the person you are inside, the man you have been with them. If you let yourself trust in that, you’ll get through it a lot easier than I did.”

“It’s so…strange but I know that. I know about your mistake and it feels like mine. This is so….weird, I mean talk about deja vous. ” He started to laugh and then he said in his best Rod Serling impression, “John Black you have just entered the Twilight Zone.”

All three of them laughed nervously and then Marlena went over to TJ and hugged him tightly saying, “I know this is so hard to accept and to understand, but John is right. There are so many people who love you, and that won’t change just because they’re glad to have him back. Let all of them, and especially John, help you with this and it will get easier in time.”

Some sense of relief was there along side the fear.. With an apprehensive sigh, he expressed his appreciation, “Okay.. thank you so much, both of you. I will let you help me. If the memories can teach me anything it’s that John is right about having made a mistake, and I won’t make that same one. I’ll take advantage of his wisdom.”

Marlena said after giving him some time to digest it all, “TJ, listen Marly is downstairs in my office. She’s a lovely woman and she is very anxious to see you. She has waited three long years believing you were dead. Do you think you’re up to seeing her?”   

This was really scary for him, “But, I….don’t remember…I don’t feel… anything. I’m not sure… I mean… what can I say to her? “

“It’s okay, it will come in time. She knows what has happened and she won’t push you or expect a lot from you, but she really wants to see you. Can I call her up here?”

He sighed and thought for a moment longer and then said, “I…okay I guess I’d like to see her. Could you both please stay with me when she’s here? I could really use the support.”          

John answered for them, “Of course we will, brother of mine. Boy does that sound strange and wonderful. Come over here for a minute, would you?”

TJ did as his twin asked and when he got to his bedside, John indicated he wanted to hug the man. Although it was somewhat awkward, Thomas John allowed it and found surprising comfort in his brother’s arms. The two men stayed in the embrace for a long while and then John said what was in his heart, “Thank you again for saving my life. I know it’s pretty early in the game but… I.. I….love you, TJ.”           

His brother beamed and returned the sentiment because it just felt right…. and true, “I…love you too, John. Thank you for your offer of support through all this, it means a lot to me, considering I stole your life from you these past three years.”      

Shaking his head, John nipped that line of thinking in the bud… “Hey..you stop that right now! Stefano Dimera is the only one to blame for my ordeal and he hurt you too. What he did to you is just as painful as what he’s done to me… so don’t do that to yourself, okay? I’ve played the blame game and believe me… it leaves no winners.”           

“You’re right, thanks for reminding me of that,” said TJ with a smile of gratitude.  

The two men waited in quiet companionship as Marlena decided to go down and escort Marly to the room personally. Somehow, they would all get through the craziness ahead and one day they would all be friends John told himself and TJ had been thinking the same thing at the same time.

He said he was glad to have found his twin even though it was under such painful circumstances, and John concurred. It would not be long before a very strong bond of friendship and brotherly love developed. Both were sure of that, and it brought a sense of ‘rightness’ to their world, because it was something that had always been missing from their lives. Their *adoptive* families were a tremendous support and the women and children brought indescribable joy to their hearts. But they had both missed the special connection found in a close loving family of origin. Now they had that chance and each man planned to make the most of the opportunity to experience that closeness. These were the silent thoughts that somehow were communicated without words as they quietly waited for Marly to arrive.


New Beginnings

John and TJ awaited the arrival of Marly Edwards nervously. TJ because he was about to meet a woman he had married many years ago, but of whom he had no memory, John because he was concerned for his brother and remembered what it felt like to have his entire world turned upside down in one split second. This had to be even tougher for TJ because to him it seemed like it was the second time it had happened. A man can only take so much pressure,’ John was thinking, sensing that TJ was sharing the same thought. “TJ…I know this is really scary…and it seems like nothing will ever be quite right again, but it does get better and I’m going to be by your side all the way. You don’t have to deal with the pain and the fear all alone, okay?”

“Thank you, John. That means so much to me. It is really scary…all of it, but right now I keep wondering… what if I say the wrong thing to her and make her feel bad? I mean, she’s been in love with me for years, and I don’t even remember her. What if I hurt her, John? I’ve already hurt so many people…”

“You’re doing it again, it’s not your fault, TJ. Stefano is the one to blame for all of it and we will find a way make him pay. I swear it. He’s going to suffer for what he did to both of us!”

TJ couldn’t help but think about what the man had done to John when he looked at his brother. Though he tried to hide it, TJ could see that John was still very weak and his weight was obviously nowhere near normal, nor was his color or muscle tone, and there were so many partially healed cuts, scrapes and unhealed bruises on his body. John was good at putting up a brave front at times, and TJ sensed he had been doing it ever since the surgery, so that Marlena and everyone else would stop worrying about him.   

“John, I…want to be there for you too. If anyone can understand what that Bastard is capable of, it’s me. I didn’t share the worst experiences, but I have your memories of his..sick tortures and I’ve had my own encounters with his evil these past three years. I’m here whenever you need someone to talk to about it.”           

John had been attempting to block out all the memories from the past three years and the intense emotions that went with them. He had been partially successful because there was so much happening and he was so ill. But now that the truths were out and the surgery was completed, he was going to have to start dealing with the horror of it all. He shut his eyes and shuddered at even the thought and said quietly, “Thank you.. but I’m not ready to even think about it yet. Besides, I want to concentrate on what you’re going through right now.”

Just as he uttered that last sentence, Marlena and Marly arrived and entered the room together.

Looking at them standing next to each other, TJ almost fainted at the similarity in appearance, style of dress, hair, everything. He was speechless at first and simply stared at her. She was doing the same thing. Marly had known he was alive for more than a week now, but to see him standing there healthy and whole after so long was overwhelming and she almost fainted as well. Marlena steadied her on her feet as John did for TJ who was still next to the bed.

Finally Marlena said, “Marly say to hello to the man we have known as John Black. TJ say hello to Marly, the woman from your memory flashes yesterday.”

Slowly they made their way over to each other and when they stood about three feet away Marly said, “Hello, TJ….I have waited a long time to see you again. I am so glad you’re alive and well. I suppose you know we were married and we have two children and that I thought you had been killed.” She paused a moment and added, “I’m very sorry for how confusing all this must be for you.”    

He didn’t know what to say. “Uh…hi yes they told me,” he said gesturing to John and Marlena. “I….I’m glad to see you and I…hope it doesn’t upset you too much that I don’t remember. I wish I did, but I guess Stefano really did a number on my head. I’m sorry you had to grieve for me, I know what that feels like…or at least I…think I do. Oh, this is so confusing.” He had to confront the fact that all his memories belonged to someone else and it was so awful and strange to face that again. ‘I wonder if it ever will be okay like John said because right now it seems….impossible to me.’

Marly wanted to hold him so much and comfort him, but she thought she couldn’t be the one, not yet, because it was someone else he really loved, and she was standing next to the woman. Marlena was the one; she knew he didn’t ever truly love that Kristen woman. Marly wondered if he would ever regain the deep feelings he had once shared with only her. She decided to take a risk about something, speaking somewhat hesitantly, “TJ…would it be okay if I gave you a hug.. you really look like you could use one about now….”

Oh, boy, now what? I…don’t know what to do here. He was feeling a sense of panic in his gut and for a second he wanted to run from this situation, but he knew it wouldn’t help. Besides, she seemed so loving and concerned. “Okay…I guess I could use one. Uh..yea sure please do, Marly.” Cautiously, they moved toward each other and Marlena instinctively moved close to the other man she loved, who was lying in the bed, reaching out to take his hand.

Marly walked slowly toward him and then gently placed her arms around him and gave him a soft, tentative hug. She was almost ready to pull back so as not to make him feel uncomfortable, when he seemed to melt into the embrace. TJ made a low sound of contentment almost like that of a child in its mothers arms, as a memory of the feeling he had when she held him before came rushing into his heart and soul. “Oh, Marly I just remembered what it felt like when you held me. It was the safest, warmest place I could ever be.” As he moved out of the embrace he had a slightly bewildered smile on his face, and said, “It’s going to be alright, I know it. One day it’s really going to be alright!”

As they watched the couple make a brand new beginning, John looked up at Marlena and saw there were tears in her eyes. She was happy for TJ, but she was hurting too; John knew that expression. It was the same one he had seen in her eyes and face when he was with Isabella. She was happy he had found love again, but sad at the same time because she still loved him. Marlena is in love with TJ… John knew he had to admit it to himself and somehow not be threatened by that truth, but how? He gave her a reassuring hug and his eyes told her he understood what she was feeling and that they would talk about it some other time.

John and Marlena then turned and smiled at TJ and Marly and Marlena said, “Would you two like to have some privacy down in my office to talk or do you just want to stay up here?”           

TJ’s face bore that slightly panicked expression. Marly was eager for the privacy, but she knew she had to meet his needs, as he was having an emotional crisis of monumental proportions. She didn’t want to cause any more stress than he was already experiencing so she said, “It’s completely up to you, TJ. Oh, and we should ask you what you want us to call you. Is TJ okay since we have another John?”          

It felt good to be asked what he wanted and he said, “I..think I’d like to stay here if it’s okay with you because this is all…pretty overwhelming right now and their support has been helping me deal with it. And about my name, yes TJ is okay for now and then I’ll decide later if I like TJ or Thomas or Tom…This is so strange…I feel like I’m talking about some other guy, not me.” He started to chuckle at that and said in the voice from an old commercial, “You can call me John, or you can call me Tom, or you can call me TJ….it’s all the same, it’s just a name.”    

The others started laughing with him and it seemed as though the first rough hurdles had been cleared. Soon it would be time to tell John and Marlena’s friends and the Brady’s about his long captivity at Stefano’s hand and about TJ’s true identity.

Then there was Kristen. Marlena felt the strangest sense of satisfaction in knowing that Kristen would be left with nothing, except her empty lies and schemes. She was about to lose the man she thought was John Black to another woman and it wasn’t Marlena. And the real John Black had stopped loving her years ago while in Stefano’s clutches.        

John remembered how he had come to understand his attraction to Kristen. As he reflected on his life, John realized that he’d never truly loved the woman. He felt he had to move on from his intense love and desire for Marlena when she made her choice to stay with Roman, thus ending the brief affair with John. He had been interested in Kristen initially because of her standoffishness. She peaked his curiosity with her resistance to him and his so-called charms. And then after he learned she was Stefano’s adopted child, there had been an element of revenge because he knew it made the Old Man burn with rage to think of his daughter in love with his sworn enemy.

During the early months after the other man went back to Salem, John had reviewed some of his choices and recognized those truths, as well as his deep feelings of love toward Marlena. He acknowledged that he would always love her and no other woman. She had penetrated his heart, mind, body and soul like no other person he had known and she would always remain there, whether they were ever able to share love again or not. He held on to some dim hope it would happen one day, and that was what allowed him to survive the terror and the incredible pain of what Stefano was doing to him.   

TJ and Marly sat down across the room from the other two and began to talk about their lives. He told her all about his time in Salem, including the sickening and painful experiences he had because of the Dimera family evil. He told her about his intense friendship with Marlena and the feelings he had for her and about his experience with Kristen, the baby, all the lies and the headaches recently. She told him about how they had met, the romance, their life together, the children, the house he had built, etc.

She showed him pictures of the kids and his heart remembered them even as his mind did not. He felt intense love for them when he saw the features of himself and Marly in the two beautiful children. As they talked, bits and pieces of memories came to him and something he had thought of the other night came to mind. “Doc, I called you Doc, didn’t I?” As he asked the question he smiled widely and again his heart re- experienced some of the feelings of love they had shared.

“Yes, you did, TJ. You started calling me that to tease me at first and it made me crazy, but then it became your term of endearment for me. You’re the only one who calls me that.”

“Oh, Marly. I know this is going to be a long process, but I want you to know I am already starting to feel something for you. It’s as if my heart remembers, but my mind can’t yet. I want to do therapy or hypnosis or whatever I can to help that process along. I want to remember our love and I’m going to stay with you from now on.”          

Tears filled her eyes as she embraced him and she said, “Oh TJ, I want that more than anything in the world. I love you so much and I have missed you so….”         

TJ couldn’t believe how much he felt for her so quickly. He had been so afraid to let her even hold him and it was in that moment that he began to feel they would find their way back to love. He still loved Marlena, but it helped knowing Marly had always been there and still loved him in much the same way he and Marlena loved…or what he remembered they’d shared and the friendship they did have.

TJ took her hand and kissed it sweetly and told her how he felt, “I… I’m starting to care for you so much already it’s kind of scary, but I feel confident about it all. I’m so glad you’re here with me and it is going to be so much easier to give up what I have here in Salem with you by my side.”

The sound of new beginnings filled this room and it was a wonderful noise. Just a short time ago there was such anxiety and fear. Now there was hope and a good start toward renewal. John and Marlena knew it would eventually be okay for all of them. Each couple would find the way back to the love they had only shared in that special relationship, and the feelings between TJ and Marlena would be resolved.

True healing could take place as long as the four of them faced with openness and honesty, the love and friendship that existed between TJ and Marlena and did not try to pretend it ended simply because they learned TJ was a different person than they thought. John, Marlena, and TJ vowed silently not to make the same mistakes that had caused so much pain for so many people when John learned he was not Roman Brady. There would be no losers, no competition for affection, no rejection or isolation. TJ would embrace the love offered and he would still be accepted into the fold without reservation, and John would be welcomed home wholeheartedly by everyone he loved. And of course, Marly, Brody and Carly would be considered new members of their family and friendship circle.

Evil Plans and Painful Truths      

Stefano knew it was time to make his move. He smiled at the ease with which most of his plans were carried out. If one were determined enough, in a free society like the US, one could accomplish almost any criminal act. The system was set up more for apprehending the offender and incarcerating him than for prevention of the crime. The police did not have enough power, and that would always be used to his advantage. This time was no different. Stefano Dimera was convinced that he could take Marlena while the two men who could rescue her were incapacitated, and the whole group was dealing with so much confusion about identities. He was usually right about these situations and he decided after talking to Kristen and one of his informants, that today was the day to put his plan into motion. He alerted all his people of times and places. Within a few hours, all was ready and he was confident as he put the opera on the stereo and drank his favorite liquor.

Kristen still had no idea of what was going on and she had spent the morning with Jennifer doing more damage control regarding Laura’s accusations. She believed she had the young woman convinced that her mother had gone off the deep end. Kristen was breathing a sigh of relief as she went to find John, but when she got to his room, there was no sign of him. She went looking for him, Mike Horton and anyone else who might help her understand what was going on. She had seen Marlena in the hallways periodically over the past week and the woman had hidden it well, but there was some strange difference in her expression. It was as if she knew something and it changed her outlook, as if she was feeling more positive about having John back in her life in spite of his wedding vows and commitment to Kristen. She had to know what it was that Marlena thought she knew that had made her feel more hopeful.

Just as Kristen was leaving John’s room to begin searching, her cell phone rang. It was Stefano, informing her of his plans to take Marlena. Kristen was thrilled. Now, there would be no more threat to her relationship with John. She would have him completely and forever without Marlena around. Of course he would look for the woman, but he would never find her this time, Stefano would not make the same mistake again. “Thank you for calling me Father, I am so pleased you will be getting what you want and I will not be bothered by her snooping ways. I will finally be able to relax without her hanging around waiting to trip me up all the time.”          

“You are welcome my dear. Enjoy your time with him.” He knew she was wrong, but he couldn’t be concerned. She might try to harm Marlena if she knew what was about to happen, that she was about to lose the man she believed was John to another woman. Even if it were not Marlena. She would be devastated, but there was nothing he could do about that now. He had tried to find a solution that worked for both of them, but John’s untimely escape had ruined that plan. John had set in motion a situation that was going to destroy Stefano’s daughter and for that he must pay. The man would suffer greatly for it when Stefano had him back. However, he could not allow himself to be distracted with that concern at the moment, he had to concentrate on the first part of the plan, the one to take Marlena. Then he would focus on getting the two men to follow and fall into his trap. He would use them, planning to coerce Marlena into being with him in order to protect them both from serious harm.       

Upstairs in John’s hospital room, there was a gathering of all those who knew about John’s return and TJ’s identity. John, Marlena, Laura, Bo, Abe, Mike, TJ, and Marly were discussing everything that had happened and deciding on a way to inform everyone else about it all. Bo and Abe, who had not been very visible at the hospital for the past few days, filled everyone in on their investigation of Stefano’s whereabouts. Laura had stopped taking her medication and her memories returned, and they were quite clear. She remembered the full truth about Stefano and Peter and the laser procedure and Kristen’s involvement and her fake pregnancy as well. TJ had been informed about it and he was shocked, but then was able to put it in perspective for himself since all the other secrets had been revealed previously. It had been confirmed that Stefano was still alive and the truth about Peter was also verified through various sources. Jack would soon be released from prison, but there had been a delay so as not to alert Stefano and Kristen.

The legal authorities wanted to arrest Kristen for her part in what happened to Laura and Jack. And they wanted to catch Stefano as he made his next move. Word on the street was that he had some new hideout and a plan in motion for its use. Abe and Bo explained the facts they had gathered and the group made some plans to stay alert and ready for anything Stefano might have in mind.         

Abe said in conclusion, “So, we think Stefano is about to make his move and we want to catch him, and take Kristen in about the same time. We don’t want either of them tipping off the other. We’ll be watching Kristen closely and we will have extra uniformed and plain-clothed men here at the hospital and at the Penthouse. There will be people assigned to watch the children, John, TJ and you, Marlena on a 24 hour basis. They will follow and stay with you wherever you are, alright?” She nodded at him, knowing she had no real choice and it actually made her feel somewhat more secure. The others acknowledged their understanding non-verbally as well.          

John had been fairly successful at avoiding the subject of his terrifying captivity thus far, but became noticeably quiet when the discussion came to Stefano’s possible plans and a new hideout. He was instantly transported in his mind to the dungeon and images of being drugged, beaten and then chained hand and foot to the wall of that cold dark place came rushing back, and he shivered slightly as if down there again. No, I won’t ever go back there, I’ll kill him or myself before I let him do that to me again!’ Marlena could see the fear that others didn’t notice in his eyes and the tension in the muscles of his body. In response, she went to sit next to him and held his hand. “John, are you okay?” she asked with concern.           

John didn’t want to talk about it yet, he wondered if he ever could. He smiled weakly and said, “Yea, I’m fine, honey…just thinking.”

She knew him well and guessed exactly where his thoughts had taken him. “You were back there for a minute weren’t you?”

He was always amazed at how she could read him, even when he thought he was covering well. “Yes..for a moment… I guess…”

She knew he had been avoiding the subject entirely and was trying to block out the memories; she had just let it go because so much was happening and he was still so physically ill. Soon it would be time to deal with what transpired during those three horrible years and it wasn’t going to be easy. “John, you won’t be able to avoid this for much longer. You’re going to have to deal with what you went through because of that sick bastard.”

He sighed and agreed, “I know, but…not yet, alright? I’m just not ready, Doc. There’s still so much to handle with TJ and now telling everyone what’s happened, seeing the kids. Doc, I’ve been home for a week and I’m aching to see them. After we tell Shawn and Caroline, Sami, and Carrie can I please see Belle and Brady?” He surveyed his still very battered, bruised and slight frame as he noticed her hesitance to answer and said anxiously, “I know I don’t.. look so great yet, but can’t we dress me up in regular clothes and make me look a little more like the man I… was before? Please?”     

Her heart went out to him and he deserved to see them after three years away from them, but he was just beginning to recover and he did look so sick still. Marlena was worried for him and the stress of seeing them, because she knew they would not readily accept the truth. They adored TJ as their Daddy and John looked nothing like the strong and vital man he once was. She was concerned that his appearance would scare the kids, but she couldn’t deprive him of seeing them, so she agreed. “Yes, John after we tell everyone else I’ll arrange for them to come see you up here. We’ll get a long sleeve shirt and pants for you to wear and then maybe they won’t be so alarmed by your…appearance.” She immediately hated herself for using those words as she thought how it must have felt to hear that, “Oh, John, I’m sorry we even have to think this way. I didn’t mean to hurt you, it’s just..”

He put his head down for a minute, feeling somehow ashamed of himself and then looked up again masking his reaction. “It’s okay, I understand your concerns, thanks Marlena. This means the world to me. I’ve missed three years of their lives and I want to get to know them again. I just hope they can accept me.” He remembered how hard it was at first for Sami and Eric to accept Roman at first and then their rejection of John after the initial shock started to wear off. It was a difficult period for everyone and he hoped it would go more smoothly this time.

“John, you know this is going to be very hard for them to understand and TJ has been with them all this time, they.. love him and always will, honey. It will take awhile before they accept the truth and you as well.”

He knew she was right, but he hadn’t wanted to think about it in detail. “Oh, Doc. I love them and I want so much for them to love me back. I….hope they will someday. But…I won’t push them at all, no matter how much it hurts me. I want what’s best for them.”    

Marlena felt so bad for him and tried to be encouraging. “You know, it’s also true that kids are great about being flexible. They will have room in their hearts for both you and TJ.” She hated to do it, but he had to face the truth of his own reactions as well as theirs, “John I hate to ask this, but it’s important for you to know it for yourself. Can you handle the fact that they really love him as their father, the only father they have ever known?” As she asked it she went back in time in her mind to her discussions with Roman about the very same situation and he did not handle it well. He had been angry with John for stealing their affection even though he knew it wasn’t John’s fault.

When he heard that last statement, the harsh reality of what he faced hit him like a ton of bricks. His children truly loved another man as their father. They were young enough that they literally had no memory of him. It was so painful to admit that they would always love that man and there were no guarantees they would love John again. They had spent three crucial years with TJ and no amount of explaining or wishing could change the fact that John had not been there, and the relationship would never be what it could have been. Belle was only an infant when he had been taken and Brady was a very small boy. It dawned on him now, just how much Roman had suffered when he returned. John had done his best to step aside so that Roman could reclaim his role as father, but he never really let go in the way he now thought he should have. No, that’s not right either….oh this is so…confusing. I don’t want to keep TJ from them and yet how can I ever reclaim my role if he stays involved with them? I don’t want to hurt him, he loves them and they love him, but what about me? Don’t my needs count too?’

He finally answered Marlena, “I don’t….know. I might have to accept it, but it hurts like hell to admit it. I know it’s not TJ’s fault and I’m not angry with him, but I want them to love me as their father and the truth is it might never happen. Oh Doc, this is all going to be a lot harder than I thought.”       

Marlena said, “John honey we will all get through the rough spots and the kids will get to know and love you too. It will be okay eventually. Try not to worry too much.” Not knowing what else to say he didn’t reply and the two of them just sat there for awhile in silence as the time came near to tell their family and friends the momentous changes that had taken place in the past week.

Over in a corner of the room TJ and Marly were talking about what it was going to be like for him when they told everyone he wasn’t John Black. He was nervous and afraid they wouldn’t love him anymore and he hated the thought of losing the family he had come to love as his own. Even though John had said they would still love him, it would never be the same and TJ had to admit it to himself. They would feel differently for him once they knew the truth.

“Marly I wish we didn’t have to do this. Everything is going to change after we tell them. John will take my place as I took his and even if they care for me like he says, it just won’t ever be the same. I still can’t believe this is really happening, it feels like a second time and I don’t know if I can handle all the losses again.”

Marly didn’t know what to say. “TJ, I know this is difficult, but try not to dwell on the pain. There are some good things to come out of all this. You found me, and the kids and you learned about your twin brother. You still have your…friendship with Marlena, and Belle and Brady adore you. You will have all of us to love you and help you through this difficult period.”

He was trying not to be too down about it, but the closer the time came the more he battled with the fear of losing everything and everyone he loved. As he thought of telling Belle and Brady he wasn’t their Daddy he flashed to the memory of telling Eric and Sami the same thing. The emotions threatened to overwhelm him and he wanted to talk to Marlena and John about it, so he turned to Marly and said, “Marly, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, thank you.”

Then he excused himself politely and went over to the bed where John and Marlena were quietly talking as well. She watched him go…. fighting the resentment that threatened…

“Hey, you two. I…uh..just needed to talk a little with you. I’m feeling kinda….” He stopped, opting for total honesty, ” Oh shoot I’m scared to death about all this. I’m afraid they’ll all reject me and I’ll lose everyone I love.” He put his head down as he said it feeling a little uncomfortable about being so open.

John knew exactly how he felt. There had been so many times when he felt so utterly alone with the loss of his identity. Even though the people he loved invited him in, he felt he didn’t belong and it was so painful to be there and see the person who did belong, the person he thought he was for seven years. It brought tears to his eyes even now to remember that first Christmas afterward, the twins rejection of him. “TJ, I know how you’re feeling and I wish there were something I could do to make it easier. All I can say is don’t let yourself believe that you don’t belong with the family and your friends… because you do. Just because your identity is different than you thought doesn’t change the love you gave and received with them. That is the mistake I made…learn from it.” He tried to hide the tears and then decided not to when he saw the same in TJ and Marlena’s eyes.

Each remembered those early days when Roman returned; they were bittersweet memories for Marlena, but very painful ones for the two men here. TJ calmly asked, “It still hurts doesn’t it?” Then as he saw John close his eyes and nod in response, all of a sudden the overwhelming emotions took control, “And now…it feels to me like I’m doing it all over again, telling the kids I’m not their father!.” He started to break down, “Oh Doc, John….I can’t do it! Please don’t make me give it all up again! I just can’t, it hurts so much!” Both John and Marlena pulled him to them and just held him while he fought the release of tears. Marly watched from across the room wishing he could take comfort in her arms, but it was simply too soon. Feeling useless, she left the room, having decided to give TJ the time and space he seemed to need.

There weren’t words to make this easier, but they could be there for him. John felt horrible about it, he was taking this man’s life away for what seemed like the second time. He hated himself and mostly Stefano for causing such agony. John was struggling against a tide of emotion too, and trying to lend support, “TJ, I’m so…sorry! I love you and I don’t want you to be in such pain, but we can’t avoid it. We have to face the truth together, but I promise you… we’ll get through this somehow.”

As seconds became minutes, TJ was able to settle down and prepare for the next big hurdle. TJ had some questions about what it was like… and how John thought it might go this time.

Marlena stayed out of it, lending silent support to them both as they remembered the pain of the past and anticipated the future. She was worried about both of them and she wondered how it was that she could stop loving TJ and concentrate only on John. Seeing him in such anguish renewed her feelings of love and she wanted to be the one who gave him all the comfort and love he needed during this difficult time. At the same time, she wanted to be there for John as he faced the truth about the children’s love for TJ, and the painful memories of what Stefano had done to him. She knew they would have to begin dealing with that horror soon or he would have problems later from trying to deny and block out the memories. Marlena hated feeling torn between them. The pain and guilt which resulted from loving two men at once came rushing back in full force and she prayed for all of them to be strong, open and honest as they faced the weeks and months ahead.


Here We Go Again

Soon it would be time to share the momentous news with the family, and everyone was a little nervous about how it would go. Marlena had found a large conference room which was free and they planned to have all of John and Marlena’s close friends and family meet there. Several Horton’s, the Carvers’, and all the Brady’s, Kate and Victor were contacted and asked to come to the hospital. The times were staggered so as not to call attention to their arrival.

Once again, a plan to distract Kristen was developed. She ended up back at the Mansion to deal with some personnel problem, and had no idea that her house of lies and deception was about to come crumbling down around her. She was going to lose everything she had worked so hard to have, but the most interesting aspect of it all was that she had built that life thinking the man she had taken from Marlena Evans was John Black.

What an ironic twist of fate. The whole relationship and all she had done to cement it was nothing more than an illusion of love. In his past, her John loved another and Kristen thought it was Marlena, but it was someone else because *he* was someone else. Kristen had competed with Marlena for his affections, and now the man she thought he was had returned and was completely in love with her rival. In a matter of minutes Kristen Blake was going to be left out in the cold.

What Sweet Justice that would be.

John was going to be wheeled into the room lying on a reclining chair because at this point sitting up for any length of time was still difficult and he was much too ill to do any standing yet. Although so many events and changes had taken place, it had only been a week or so since he escaped from Stefano. As TJ sat at his brother’s bedside and talked quietly with John, Marlena and the others who already knew were discussing exactly how to break the news to the gathering and still help TJ to feel included in their family/friendship circle.

Marlena was saying, “We have to face it, no matter how we say it, TJ is going to feel some sense of loss about all of this. It can’t be avoided and John has a right to feel good about being home with the people he loves and to be accepted by them again. All we can do to make the whole transition easier for both of them is include them and let them both know they are loved and wanted by all of us.”   

She looked over at the man she loved, who was talking quietly with his brother, and then added, “John is going to face the difficult part right after this when he sees the children who love TJ as their father. Both of them are going to suffer a lot of pain because of what Stefano did, just like…before.” Her voice trailed off as she was transported back in time to when Roman returned and John was the one who found out he wasn’t who he thought, after several years of living that life. ‘Oh how I hate that Bastard for doing this to all of us again!’ she said mentally.

Abe said, “Marlena’s right, we can’t agonize over every word. We just have to get the truth out there and deal with it the best we can and love them both through it all.”

Bo agreed, knowing he would do all he could to help TJ as well as John. He had always tried to reach out to John and make sure he knew Bo still thought of John as his brother after Roman returned, as they had forged a strong relationship in the years they thought John was Roman. “Yea, we’ll be there for John and TJ, but poor Mom and Pop, this is going to be so…hard on them, bringing back all the reminders about Roman and what he went through. And I’m worried about them seeing John in such rough shape. I hope they can handle it all.”      

Laura said, “Bo, they’re strong and they can handle a lot more than you think. We will all be there for them too.”     

“Mike, I hate to even ask this, but I can’t help wondering. Do you think TJ and John are up to all of this so soon after the surgeries and John being…so badly mistreated. I mean…he’s still so..” It was Abe, who started to think of all that had happened the last time, and he wanted to spare them both pain, even though he knew it was impossible.         

Mike knew what he was trying to do. “Abe, we have to do this now before something happens and people find out by accident. That would only cause them more strain. Yes, this is going to be stressful for them, but it simply can’t be avoided. As far as TJ is concerned, medically he’ as strong as a horse except for some tenderness around the surgical cite and those headaches that my Mom will be helping him with soon.” He was so glad both Marlena and TJ had agreed that he should work with her rather than Marlena. That was a situation looking for trouble.        

“Now, John is a much different story.” As he said it he glanced worriedly over at the man in the bed. “He is still in bad shape and even though he’s been hiding it from most of you pretty well, he is in a lot of pain and he is terribly weak. I am worried about all of this and how it will affect him, but at the same time how can I justify keeping him from the rest of the people he loves, from his children? The added support could play a big role in his recovery.”

Mike looked to Marlena for confirmation and she nodded and then he said reassuringly, “I’ll be watching him very closely as I’m sure Marlena will and if we have concerns we’ll make sure he takes a break and gets some rest, alright?”    

All members of the small group nodded their heads and in the next moment the two men who couldn’t help but hear some of the conversation came over to try and lighten the mood a little. TJ was wheeling John over and they said in unison wearing twin grins, “Show time everybody!”   

The group had to laugh at that as the two people about whom they were so concerned were trying to make them feel better about what was about to take place. “You two are amazing. Here you are just about to have your lives change dramatically and you’re trying to lighten things up!” said Marly, who had been very quiet as she had not faced a situation like this and had no input she thought would be helpful. She was worried about TJ, though she was glad to hear he was coming along nicely with his medical recovery. She smiled and shook her head as she walked over and gave each of them a quick hug.   

Everyone left to go to the conference room knowing many of the others were beginning to arrive; only John and Mike staying behind. The plan was for Marlena and TJ to begin to make the explanation to the group and then Mike would come in with John after they all knew the very basic story. They felt it was the least shocking way to introduce him in his current condition. John and TJ preferred to get it out in the open all at once and then deal with all of the ramifications over a period of time.

The two men sat in silence for awhile, Mike on the edge of the bed, John in the special reclining chair, knowing there wasn’t anything more to be said. There was only the waiting to be done. John was becoming nervous and he was trying to squelch his anxiety by telling himself everything would be fine for himself and TJ. But now, sitting here in a quiet room, he had to admit to himself that he was worried about his brother and how he was going to feel. John was also very concerned about telling the kids who he was, wondering how they would react to learning that TJ was not their father, and the possible rejection he faced if they couldn’t accept it.       

Mike had become fairly observant about John’s moods during the past week or so and he asked, “John, are you okay?”        

He sighed and shut and then opened his eyes before answering quietly, “As okay as I’m going to be for awhile I guess. I can’t help but remember what it was like for me at first and I wish TJ didn’t have to suffer through it for what seems to him like the second time. I’d do just about anything to spare him the loss, the fear, and loneliness he’s going to feel. Mike, no matter how much people tell him it doesn’t make a difference to them in how they feel, it will to him.” He shook his head and added, “I really *hate* being the one to cause him pain by going in there and telling everybody I’m back!”        

Mike was somewhat amazed at this line of talk as he thought John might tell him of his fears of not being accepted or about the kids not knowing him and loving TJ, etc. Instead, he was most concerned about how his brother was going to feel. “John, you know Marly was right. You and TJ are being so supportive of each other and so concerned about how the other is doing. I admire you both for that, it can’t be easy not to have some feelings of jealousy, or competition enter into the equation. John, it’s going to be okay eventually, for both of you… and you can help TJ with his reaction because you are the only one who knows exactly how it feels to lose your identity. You didn’t have that support and you survived it somehow, so it should be a little easier for him.”

“Thanks Mike it helps to hear that. He paused for only a moment longer and spoke more enthusiastically, “Okay, then let’s do it!” Then Mike wheeled him on down the hallway for the encounter that was going to change so many lives.

In that conference room down the hall, the Brady, Carver, and Horton families awaited the answer to their question of what in the world could be happening that they were all called together without any reason given for coming. They had all received a call from Marlena, Abe, or Laura and they all got the same lack of information, but they came because of the implicit trust in these relationships. Just as the frustration was mounting again, in came those callers and the man they knew as John Black, along with Bo Brady.      

Instead of everyone talking at once Marlena took charge of the gathering immediately by saying, “We know you all want to know why we called you here and John and I will tell you. John do you want me to start or do you want to do it?”        

From the initial statement Marlena made and the expression on her face, Caroline Brady guessed that it was not going to be happy news like a reunion, but she had already concluded that from the way she and Shawn were asked to come so secretly to the hospital. When she looked at John, his face bore an expression for the briefest of moments that told her he was hurting deeply about something and she surmised that they were about to learn what it was. He covered it quickly as he smiled and said, “You go ahead Doc, I’m sure you’ll do just fine.”  

Marlena was hesitant, but she could see he just wasn’t up to it. “All right then…. everyone please sit down because this is going to come as quite a shock.” She waited for the murmuring to die down and for everyone to do as she’d suggested. Then she continued, “I’m going to start at the beginning, which is about one week ago. I had been having some strange dreams where I had the feeling someone I cared about was in trouble and then I received a call in the middle of the night that led me to a place outside of New Orleans with Abe. The person who called told me he was John Black and we learned that he was telling the truth. Abe and I went down there and found him.”

Seeing the confusion in many pairs of eyes, she spoke rapidly to get the information out there, “A lot has happened since then and we have learned that this man we all love is John’s twin brother, Thomas John Black. For now, we’re calling him TJ. We believe that he was kidnapped and brainwashed to be used in Stefano’s plans to take me and still have John as a hostage to coerce my compliance, all the while Kristen was here with a man she thought was John. It turns out that John was being held by Stefano somewhere near New Orleans for all these years. We wanted to wait to bring him in here because he’s in pretty rough shape.”

She could tell the emotions were running high and there were so many questions, so she finished quickly, “John has been very sick and he was treated horribly by that.. monster. We wanted to prepare everyone for his appearance before bringing him in to see all of you. He’s very thin and weak, his skin is so….” Her voice started to crack and she had to stop because having to explain it brought up the emotions she had not allowed to surface so she could be strong for him. Marlena started crying and TJ took over for her as Abe came over and held her in his arms.           

It was hard for TJ to describe John’s injuries too, but he somehow managed to keep his composure. “What Marlena was trying to say is that he…was…John has been through a hellish ordeal; he was held in a dark dungeon and so his skin is very light in color and it’s a little unnerving at first. He needed a kidney because of the beatings, the lack of proper nutrition, and the drugs Stefano used, among other reasons, so I gave him one and we’ve both been trying to recover from that. He has been battered severely and there are many bruises, cuts, and scrapes still healing from when he escaped. John has tried to hide it so we wouldn’t worry and fuss over him, but we know he’s in a lot of pain and the whole experience has…. scarred him in so many ways. He hasn’t talked much about it yet and won’t want to today either, so please…. go easy on him with the questions, okay?” He paused for a moment, to let it all sink in, looking at those around him in a whole different way, cognizant that he was about to step out of a role that seemed like his life, into a new life of which he knew but could not recall. “But he is eager to see all of you, are you ready?”     

The entire room was silent and the stillness was deafening. Finally Shawn and Caroline, who took a natural position of leadership, exchanged glances and then approached TJ. Caroline reached out to take her *son’s* hands as she spoke softly of her love, “John..I mean, TJ…. before John comes in here, we want you to know something that is very important for you to remember. This is something we should have made much more clear to John when Roman came home. The fact that John has returned does not affect in any way whatsoever how we all feel about you. We love you for who you are, not for the name you use. We will always love you, and nothing that happens today or in the next few weeks, months or even years to come will change that. You need to remember that you are *always* welcome in our homes and our lives and you belong there just as you have these past three years. Please take that into your heart and let yourself believe it.”

His lips started to quiver, and she pulled him into a hug as he started to weep joyful tears upon hearing those loving words. Shawn joined in on it saying, “I love you, son. You are still a Brady and you always will be.” He was telling TJ he felt the same way about TJ as when he had said those words to John just after he learned he was an Alamain by birth.    

“Thank you,” TJ whispered through a light mist, “That means… so much to me…. I love you too… and I always will.”

The rest of the gang was still trying to absorb it all. Also becoming teary eyed, they clapped and crowded around him to show them their love and affection. There were many comments about everyone feeling the same way as Shawn and Caroline. TJ felt their love wrap around his heart, and in that moment, he knew he would make it through somehow.

Marlena smiled as she looked upon the scene. They were handling this so much better than when Roman returned. Her heart swelled as she watched various people come over to reassure him privately and hug him. After a short while, it was time to bring John into the room. Everyone realized, almost instinctively, that they had to be careful with their initial reaction to him as well. He needed their love and support more than ever before, and they would welcome him home with open arms.


Welcome Home John

The room was crushingly silent as John was wheeled in by Dr. Michael Horton and it stayed that way for several long moments before Shawn and Caroline approached them. Marlena slipped in soundlessly next to the man she loved and was soon followed by Carrie, Sami, and Hope, who stood back as the Brady matriarch took the lead role in welcoming her son home.

Upon seeing his battered frame, Caroline couldn’t help but be overcome with emotion. Marlena and TJ had prepared them as best they could, but actually seeing him in such a beleaguered state brought tears to her eyes as she went to hug him. She could tell he’d lost a tremendous amount of weight, but felt how painfully thin he really was as she wrapped her arms around his slender body. Through her tears she said, “Oh, John… honey… you’re so thin….. I’m so…sorry we didn’t know…. Welcome home, son!. I love you….. Oh… are you going to be alright?”

He was as okay as he could be after what had happened so he just said with a slight nod and an attempt at a reassuring smile, “I will be, Caroline. Thanks for your concern. I’m just.. glad to be back home and away from…” His voice trailed off as he went back for only an instant. No, John not now.. Enjoy this. He tried to find a smile, but didn’t quite manage it, “I’m just so glad to see you again, Mom. I missed you so much!”

Shawn joined in after taking a moment to compose himself, “Oh, John… we are so glad you’re safe and that your operation was successful.. we love you, Johnny… very much. Welcome home, son!” It touched him in ways he couldn’t describe if he tried to see this burly man with eyes full of unshed tears… for him…. and to know that man truly loved him as a son… His voice crackled with nearly overwhelming emotion to realize even more completely that they loved him as one of their own. It was so much more than words, “Thank you, Pop… I love you too… and it’s so good to be back…”        

John was holding back the tears so far, but knew that battle would eventually be lost as Carrie came up and hugged him gingerly, shocked and concerned about him. Weeping openly, she had to fight to get the words out, “John, I’m so.. sorry for… what you suffered. And… I’m so very glad…. that you were able to… come back to us. I love you, Daddy… I love you so much!. And if you…. need anything… anything at all… I will be…. right here for you….. always.”     

“Oh, my sweet pumpkin girl, it is SO good to see you and hold you in my arms again.” His voice trembled as he shared a hint of what he’d endured, his shaky hands reaching out to touch her sweet young face, “I thought…. that I would never.. see any of you again because… you had no way of knowing… that I was… being held and…”

He shut his eyes tight to block out the memories and images that wanted to be dealt with, to shut down the powerful emotions too. NO! not yet! It broke Carrie’s heart to think of what he must have been through… all the while knowing they had no idea anything was wrong. It must have been terrifying to think of dying as Stefano’s tortured captive, alone and unloved. “Oh Daddy… it must have been… so.. horrible… I’m so sorry… God, I’m so sorry, Daddy…” she cried, sobbing and collapsing into his arms.

Wiping away her tears, John tried to give her reassurance he didn’t yet feel, but he couldn’t bear to see her so broken up over it. “It’s okay, baby.. it’s okay… I’ll be… alright… and your love will help to get me through the tough parts… don’t you cry, Pumpkin… Daddy’s going to be okay…” She nodded and sniffled, as she finally managed to stem the flow of moisture. “Yea… okay.. she said as she drew out of their embrace, trying to calm herself for his benefit.     

Marlena could see what was happening. She waited until Carries sobs quieted, and then came over for a minute and whispered in his ear, “John, honey why don’t you take a little break and get a quick bite to eat and then talk some more alright?”    

He knew what she was trying to do, and he shook his head firmly, as he responded, “No, Doc I’m okay…really. I’ve waited a very long time for this day…I didn’t think it would ever really happen. I don’t want to miss a second of it! She nodded and breathed a slightly reluctant sigh as she squeezed his right and gave him a shoulder hug. “Alright.. I’ll let you be the judge of what you need. ” Marlena understood that all too well and didn’t push it any further, but secretly worried about how much he could handle in one day.

He looked up to see the other blond girl standing next to Carrie. His eyes lit up at the sight of her, “Oh, Sami…. thanks for coming to see me. I know you must still feel some.. anger toward me…it means a lot that you came here today.”           

Sami looked at his worn out battered form, and somehow the anger she harbored all this time seemed to fade away as if it had never been there. She didn’t want to hate him anymore, she wanted to love him. With tears in her eyes, she told him how she felt in this moment, “Oh, John I don’t want to be mad at you and Mom anymore. It takes too much energy and you don’t deserve it. I’m SO..sorry for thinking the worst about you and Mom in the first place, and for what that evil monster did to you. I… love you, John!” she said as she began to sob, at the same time as she was throwing her arms around him.  

That was it, the tears could not be held at bay one second longer and they flowed freely as he melted into the warmth of her embrace. “Oh, Sami, thank you… thank you so much! I have longed to hear you say that. I love you too sweety, and I always have.” He held her for the longest time, both with joyful tears streaming down their faces. John was silently thanking God that if he had to suffer what he did, at least this reconciliation could be something good to come out of it. She said it again as the moment ended, using a term of endearment he hadn’t heard her say in a very long time, “I love you… Daddy… ” and he felt a heavy burden fall off his weary shoulders.

Hope came over next and she gave him a big bear hug too, careful as she’d seen him wince each time someone held him. “John, we’re all glad you’re….safe and back home with us. And, Bo and I will be there for you any time you need us.”      

He mustered a grateful smile, “Thank you Hope, I know you will and just knowing that you’re there will help a lot.”    

Abe and Bo hadn’t had much time to talk with John because of tracking down every potential lead about the possibility of Stefano being alive and planning something again. They approached him next. Abe spoke first, sensing something more than the emotion of the moment, “Hey, buddy how are you holding up here? This all has to be a little overwhelming, huh?”

John had to admit to that it was pretty stressful, but he wanted nothing more than to see and hold everyone he loved. “Yea,.. a little I guess, but they’re going to have to drag me out of here to get me to rest like Doc wants. I want to talk to everybody and touch everyone I thought I would never…” Tears came unexpectedly to his eyes again, the emotions suddenly overpowering his ability to remain calm. He put his head down to hide the fact as he wept silently.

Abe put an arm around his shoulder, still surprised at how slight he was now, wondering whether John would ever be the same man who left Salem three years earlier. “Hey, it’s okay…. Everyone expects you to shed a few tears today. Everybody’s crying… this is all pretty emotional stuff. You were gone a long time, buddy…. and we’re all so… happy to have you back with us.” He paused a moment and then added, biting back the anger of the physical damage Dimera had inflicted on his best friend’s body, let alone the deep emotional scarring they had yet to see… “You know I haven’t had much chance to talk with you since we found you, but I want you to know…. how sorry I am that I didn’t realize… what was happening to you! I’m so..sorry, for all the pain and suffering and we’re going to make him pay, John. I promise you this time he’s going to pay for what he did to you!”      

“I know it. Somehow, he has to Abe, he just can’t keep hurting so many people and get away with it!” He was still wiping away those pesky tears that wouldn’t seem to stop. As he did so, Marlena approached again. She hadn’t sat next to him too much although she had been watching closely and was starting to worry about him as she saw him talking with Abe. She could see how emotional he was becoming and she wanted to support him, and convince him to rest.

She wrapped her arms around his neck from behind and said, “Hey, you…are you sure I can’t convince you to take a break from all this for a moment? You look a little worn out, honey…”

No sense in denying the painfully obvious. But she had to understand how vital this gathering of friends and family was to him. Looking up at her he said, “You’re right, Doc… I am… but I’ll have all the time in the world for rest after this, but only one day that is this special, Marlena. Thanks for asking everyone to be here. I know after this you’re going to want to help me focus on recovering and….working through what happened, so today is really important to me and I don’t care how tired I get, okay?”          

She nodded her agreement, realizing as she looked into his misty blue eyes that it was crucial for him to have this time, to feel welcomed home by everyone he loved. He needed to see them and touch them all so he could believe it was real, so he could truly believe that they all still loved him. The memories and feelings from this day would carry him through some of the difficult times ahead, when he would be doing just what he’d said, working through the pain.  

Bo had been standing nearby trying to figure out just what he wanted to say and he waited for an appropriate moment to approach John. “Hey, big brother. I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re handling all this with TJ really well. You haven’t tried to compete and I don’t see you being jealous or anything, but very supportive of him and I think that’s amazing after everything you’ve been through.”           

“Thanks, Bo. That means a lot coming from you. We’ve been through this one before haven’t we? I can’t say I’m glad about that, but it does make it easier to know how to handle it on this side of the fence. I am not going to blame TJ or be angry with him for something that isn’t his fault. He’s a victim of that sick Bastard just like me and it helps that he’s my brother.”

That brought a slightly bemused expression to Bo’s face… “That sure is a wild one, all this time you’ve had a twin and didn’t know it. I’m really glad for you, John. I know that we’ve included you as a part of our family and you’ve always thought of us that way. It made you feel good to have us all, but I also know how you wished you had a biological family that meant something too. Now you can have that too, and I couldn’t be happier, John.” Bo was smiling and he was pleased to see John do the same.

Nodding while he tried to put his reaction into words, John contemplated it for a bit and then said, “Yea, it does something for me that I can’t explain, Bo. TJ and I have a chance to be close in a way that I never could with Lawrence and it’s so important. I never realized how much I needed or wanted that kind of a relationship with family until now. I guess I always tried to deny that it hurt not to have that in my life. But, now that I do…it’s hard to describe the feeling. I want you to know though, that you and I will always be brothers… in every way that counts Bo.”

“Yea… I feel the same way.” He patted John on the back and said, “I know, John. Hey, I’m just so glad to have you back with us. I’m sorry we haven’t had more time to talk since you returned, but Abe and I have been following up on every lead we get on Stefano.”

“I know, you guys have worked hard on that, thanks a lot. I really want that…demented old man to pay for everything he’s done to me, to your family, Marlena and now TJ too. Thanks for the welcome home.”

Next Maggie and Mickey and Alice came over to see him. Alice gave him a hug and said, “John, welcome home, dear.” She smiled and then added, “As soon as they tell me it’s okay I’m going to bring some of my best donuts for you here at the hospital. I know that they have always made you feel better.”           

He chuckled at old memories as Roman. “Thanks a lot Alice that would be great.”

Maggie looked at him and felt so bad for him, she didn’t know quite what to say. Finally she embraced him and said, “John, we’re so…sorry about what happened. We will all be here for you in whatever way you need us, you and Marlena.”

Mickey echoed her sentiments, “Yes, welcome home, John. Please, if there is anything we can do to help you through these next few weeks and months, let us know. And, we’ll be checking in on you frequently to see how you’re doing. And about the legal issues…. you just call me when you’re ready.”           

John decided to speak to these three and the rest of the gathering as well, when there was a lull in the action, “Thanks everybody, this all means so much to me. I sure have missed all of you and I’m so glad to be back!” He was grinning at this point. It felt wonderful to have all this love and support. John knew like TJ before him that with the help of these fine people he would make it through the rough months of his recovery.

Marlena came over to stand by his side as he spoke. Then he turned to her and said, “I have to tell all of you that without the help of this beautiful lady and a few others, Abe, Bo, Mike, Laura, and TJ. If it weren’t for them, I know for a fact that I would not have survived all of what has happened to me in the past week. Abe and Marlena came and found me, and all the others helped me with everything since we came to Salem, and I will always be grateful for that. Here’s to the love of good friends and family.” With his recently acquired water glass, he raised a toast and everyone went along, smiling all the while, with many calls of “Here here…and Amen to that…” as other glasses clinked.   

Then Shawn Brady joined in, saying, “To John, may he feel welcomed home and loved dearly by all who are gathered here.” Everyone clapped and agreed and then Shawn turned and looked at TJ and said, “And to TJ, the newest member of the Brady family and to his lovely wife, Marly and their children. May they all feel welcome as well. Cheers!”

The rest of the afternoon was spent talking and laughing, with everyone becoming acquainted and reacquainted. The story of John’s rescue and homecoming, especially the part about the couple and the country doctor who cared for him, was told repeatedly. As all of this was going on, Marlena realized that John was becoming a little withdrawn and she sat down next to him, remaining silent for a minute. Putting her hands on his, she spoke softly so no one else could hear, “John, are you alright, you’re pretty quiet, honey?”

He had been trying desperately not to think of the three years he spent as Stefano’s prisoner, but listening to others incredulous questions and all the other talk about it brought it to the forefront of his mind. “Marlena, I’m trying so…hard not to think of it, of what he….did to me all that time, but I can’t… hold the memories back any more and the….. Oh Doc, I don’t *want* to feel it, I’m just not ready yet!” He looked at her, as if he thought maybe she could stop it from happening, keep the haunting memories at bay…           

She hated what was ahead for him, but it couldn’t be avoided. Wheeling him a few feet away from the crowd, she knelt down next to him, took his hands in hers, and looked into his moist eyes, as her own eyes filled with tears of sorrow on his behalf. “John, honey I wish there was something I could do that would make the memories go away, and all the horrible pain you suffered… will suffer, and the fear you felt…. all of it, but I can’t, baby. I can’t…and now that the immediate crisis has passed… you’ll probably begin to remember more of it and all the powerful feelings will come with the memories. But, you’ll get through it with my love…. and support… and with the help of everyone in this room…and then someday… you will begin to heal, John. And I will be there… every step of the way, honey… “

It was hard to believe that sometimes, when he let himself feel something about it, which until now had been only fleeting moments of horror. She was right though, it was already getting harder to fight off the images of that dungeon, how dark and cold it was… God the nights were so.. long… so cold and the loneliness…was gut-wrenching. So many nights spent alone and in pain…believing it would always be that way.

She sensed he was flashing back….and reached out to hold him. He shuddered in her arms and she just held him close in silence. “Doc, so…cold….I’m so cold… hold me, oh Doc…tell me he can…. never… ” His voice trailed off and his breathing was so shallow and rapid that it appeared he was having an anxiety attack. John couldn’t shake off the memory this time and he started shivering fairly violently as if re-experiencing the events. Marlena embraced him as tightly as possible being mindful of his injuries, all the while whispering quietly to reassure him of her presence and her love for him. With one arm, she motioned to Mike who had glanced over and noticed what was happening. The two of them took him back to his room, planning to explain what happened to the others later.

The Horror Of It All

Marlena and Mike wheeled John quickly back to his room and settled him into the bed. Marlena, who climbed in next to him, continued to hold him and speak softly trying to calm him. He was still shaking violently and mumbling about being cold. ” So…cold here.. so… alone…” He cried out, “I…want…to go…home! God, please….help me get away….”

It broke her heart to hear him like this and she knew there would be so many more times when he revisited the horror of what was done to his mind and body by the most evil man she had ever heard of. It made her positively ill when she allowed herself to think of what he must have suffered all the time everyone he loved thought he was safe in Salem. “Oh baby, it’s okay.. Shhhh, it’s okay.”

Tears flooded out of her eyes, for his pain and her sorrow about not having known. Oh, John what he did to you all that time, it must have been so…frightening and so terribly lonely. I’m so…sorry. She didn’t say it out loud, he couldn’t discuss it rationally now, but there would come a time. “He can’t hurt you like that anymore, John. You’re safe now, honey.” Marlena wept and held him in the warmth and security of her arms until he finally dropped off to sleep. Mike had given him a mild sedative to help him sleep; he definitely needed the rest.

After he fell asleep Mike and Marlena stood back looking at him as he slept somewhat restlessly. Mike put his arm around a crying Marlena and said, “I was hoping he might make it for a couple more days before the hard stuff started. He was so.. happy today, to see everybody here. I’m sorry Marlena. I know this has all been very rough on you too.”

Wiping her tears away she said, “Thank you Mike, I was hoping the same thing, but I guess hearing people talk about how unbelievable it all is, and wondering how he survived, even if they didn’t ask him directly, must have brought it all back. I knew it would start soon, but prayed it wouldn’t be today. Oh, Mike… the next few weeks and months are going to be.. hell for him…I can only imagine all of what that BASTARD did to him…. all that time…”

She stopped talking and broke down in tears as a few scattered images from Maison Blanche returned, and then some from what little he had told her about the time beyond that. “Oh, God, Mike… it was three years! Three years of torture… all alone….drugged…and beaten… without any hope of being found…. Oh my God, Mike… tell me…how will he ever…recover from that kind of suffering?”

“Marlena, we will all be here for you both, you know that. And, you will both get through it. Somehow… he’ll get the help he needs… and he’ll make it… you know how strong he is.” He knew there wasn’t much else to say and so he just held her for awhile as she cried for the man she loved. Marlena nodded, still weeping, hoping her young doctor friend was right.

She suddenly thought of all the friends and family members waiting in the conference room for them. “Mike, can you go explain to them what happened and thank them all for coming? I want to stay with him while he sleeps and be here when he wakes up. Oh, and tell TJ if he has a chance he might want to stop by later on in case John wants to talk. TJ has some memories of Stefano and can probably help John with this.”

“Of course, Marlena and I’m sure TJ will be glad to come and see John later.” He paused a moment, wondering if what he was about to say would help or upset her, but decided to do so. “You know he and Marly seem to be getting closer pretty quickly and he seems…okay with all this so far. What do you think?”

She tried to hide the pain from her face, but couldn’t quite manage it. “Mike, I…I’m glad for him, really. He deserves to be happy and have love in his life and if he can have that with Marly then I’m all for it. It’s sooo much better than thinking of him with Kristen.” She looked away for a moment, slightly embarrassed about the feelings she still had for him.

“But…you still.. love him, don’t you, Marlena? It’s understandable.”

“I don’t have a right to love him, but you’re right… I do. Oh, I can’t believe this is happening again to me, loving two men. It nearly destroyed me and those two men the last time and now…if…oh, I just couldn’t bear hurting them both.”

“Oh, Marlena I know this is hard… and I know that TJ still…cares for you so much, but he knows he can’t have you and that he was married to Marly for a long time. His memories of their time together are slowly trickling in, and he wants to have love again, so he is letting you go… and trying to make a new start with her.”

She felt some jealousy in spite of her best efforts not to allow those feelings to surface, “I know that, but it still…hurts to see her with him. I fully realized my ongoing love for John because of TJ, because of what *he* did for me. Mike, he saved me from Stefano and from.. the devil and I can never forget his willingness to risk his own soul for me. A part of me, of my… heart will always belong to him, and I think the same goes for him.”

“I know that’s true Marlena. It’s obvious from the way you still look at each other when you think nobody else is watching. But, please… be careful, I don’t want to see any of you get hurt any more than you have been already.”

She nodded her head and then said, “Don’t worry, I won’t make the same mistakes again. I won’t try to hide my feelings for TJ from John. I’m going to be a lot more honest about it with them both, and even though it will hurt John to know, at least he won’t suffer what Roman did. I would do anything to spare him that.”

Mike and Marlena were standing across the room from the bed and talking quietly. They thought John was out cold, but he had awakened and heard much of the conversation, and after everything he had just gone through, it was too much to handle. He pretended to be sleeping as she went to check on him because he didn’t want to talk about it.

After she left to get a bite to eat, John fought a vicious battle.. not to cry. It was just too much and he now realized more fully what excruciating pain Roman must have felt to know the woman whose love allowed him to survive his captivity was home loving another man and to realize after returning that she still did. “God please forgive me for hurting him so terribly. I understand better than ever the agony I caused him.” John finally broke down a little and didn’t quite know who he was crying for, himself, Roman, Marlena, TJ, or the children. In truth, it was for all of them.

‘Oh, Doc..I love you and I need you so badly…. What am I gonna do if.. she can never really give me her heart again?’



That thought was too painful to contemplate, and so he tried once more to drift off to sleep, but instead his mind traveled back to the dungeon… He heard Stefano’s taunting voice, “John, do you see? She loves him now and she always will. Even if by some miracle you do manage to escape and return to Salem it will never be the same between the two of you. Now you know how Roman felt, eh?”

Stefano had left him with that fear again and again, making him watch the tapes showing Marlena looking at the man who took his place, with such love and affection in her eyes and face. It tore at the fabric of his soul to see that, and then to make it worse, Stefano had forced him to endure scenes of her with TJ and their two children together, laughing and playing, the kids loving the other man as their father. Dimera played the tapes repeatedly until John begged his cruel captor to stop. It was agonizing, and he slowly came to believe that he would never see Marlena or his children again.

Now he felt jealousy try to make its way into his heart and soul and he fought it down. No, it isn’t his fault! Don’t blame him, John. Stefano did this to you..and he MUST PAY!! Somehow he must pay for the pain and suffering! John vowed to make it happen, As soon as I’m well Old Man…as soon as I’m well.

A short time later, Marlena was returning to the room with a cup of coffee in hand, when she came face to face with the man John was vowing to take down. He was wearing hospital garb, but his form was unmistakable. She screamed as loudly as possible, and he quickly made a move to take her with the help of one of his goons. They had somehow been able to take out several key men who were handling security for the floor John was on. Most of the friends and family had left by now and only Mike, TJ, Marly, Abe, Bo, and Laura were still nearby.

TJ instantly recognized the petrified scream of the woman he had loved deeply for what seemed to him to be most of the life he remembered. Instinctively, he ran toward her. Just as he got to where he thought he heard her cry out, he saw the door to the stairwell closing. TJ rushed through the people in the corridor who were milling around wondering what all the commotion was about, reaching the stairwell swiftly. He stopped long enough to determine the direction from which the sounds of footsteps and muffled cries were coming. What he heard made him start to feel panic rising in his gut, as there were footsteps going both directions on the stairwell, and no identifiable voices. If he guessed wrong…..

‘Oh God….what do I do? Which way should I go? What would Stefano do, car or helicopter? He made his choice, started off toward the noises, and prayed he was right.

Back in his room John felt a jolt of fear for Marlena strike hard and fast. Despite his debilitated state, he tried to rise from the bed and go to her aide, but the exhaustion and emotional stress of the day had taken its toll on his already weakened condition. He collapsed just after he reached the door, opening it to see the commotion and TJ sprinting toward the stairs. John instantly felt the danger she faced inside his own heart.

He called out, desperately hoping TJ could save her, “No, don’t let him take her. No…please…Oh God, NO!” Yelling like that took every bit of strength he had left and the next thing he knew he was hitting the floor hard, his consciousness slowly fading to black.

His last thoughts were images Stefano had shown him merely to taunt him, to emphasize his powerlessness and therefore, thoroughly demoralize him. They were images of Marlena locked in a golden cage in the Paris Underground. Terrified tears began to form behind his eyes as he remembered how frightened she looked in those videos he’d seen….. ‘No.. please God…don’t let that happen to her again! TJ….stop him… you have to stop him!’


A Love to Die For

TJ ran up the stairs two at a time, knowing in his heart the Old Man had just enough of a head start to reach the roof and a waiting helicopter if he didn’t make up the distance fast. He was still weak from the surgery, but fearful adrenaline surged and gave him needed strength and endurance for the chase. Thankfully, TJ made it to the roof just in time to catch them before they got onto the air vehicle.

There was no way in hell he was going to let that bastard take Marlena again, he would die to save her from another abduction. TJ shouted to get their attention, “DOC!”    

She turned to see him and was so grateful that she began to struggle for her freedom with renewed vigor. “TJ, oh thank God!” she said. TJ ran quickly to close the distance and began to wrest her from Stefano’s fierce grip. He threw a powerful right handed punch in the man’s face and the grip loosened just enough to free her from the bastard. He swiftly hustled Marlena to safety, giving her the once over; she was shaken up a bit in the struggle, but generally unhurt.

Fear filled her eyes as she looked in his fiery blue ones. In that split second, she knew he wouldn’t stay with her, but would turn and go after Stefano. Grasping both of his arms, she begged him not to leave her, “Stay with me, let him go TJ, please!”

“Stay here!” he said firmly ignoring her fear and her pleas, his eyes imploring her not to try and help him as he then turned his attention back to Stefano, who was now mostly inside the helicopter. Their silent communications lasted less than seconds and he was gone. Marlena watched helplessly as TJ climbed on the landing sled and tried to pull Stefano out with him, while the pilot began to lift off. TJ held on to Stefano with his right hand and the helicopter with the other as they rose above the hospital landing pad. Soon they were many feet off the ground and Stefano saw his chance to rid himself quickly of one of his enemies. The two men fought for several long seconds as the unstable helicopter pitched and careened wildly in a circular motion.       

“Not so fast, Old Man, you aren’t getting away this time! You have to pay for what you’ve done to so many people!”

Stefano said, “Not yet, my friend… goodbye, Thomas..” Suddenly, he kicked at the hand with which TJ was holding on to the helicopter. The blow caused him to let go of the metal bar… and not being able to hold onto Stefano’s arm firmly enough, TJ lost the confrontation and fell.  

By this time the helicopter was about 20 feet or so off the ground. A fall from that height could easily kill a man. Believing his life was to be over in a matter of seconds, he yelled out as loudly as possible to his love, “I LOVE YOU, DOC!!!!”

Marlena let out a bloodcurdling scream, “Oh My God, John! NOOO!” and Bo and Abe arrived on the roof at the exact moment TJ fell. “NOO!” they screamed at the same time. Seconds seemed to last for hours as they helplessly watched him plunge toward the unforgiving concrete surface. He landed with a sickening thud. The three of them stood there with their mouths agape, immobilized by shock for a few seconds before running to his crumpled form. TJ, who had tried to land on his feet and roll, was very seriously injured when he slammed to the ground with great force, now lying awkwardly in the center of the launch pad, ostensibly near death.

Marlena shouted in a voice filled with terror at the other two, “Go get the trauma team, NOW!!” She knelt down next to him and did what little she could to make him more comfortable. “Oh, My God No! Don’t take him from us! Please, God! NO!! ” she screamed through a flood of horrified tears.   

TJ was alive, but that was about all that could be said for him; there was barely a pulse and his breathing wasn’t easily visible. There were more injuries than could even be named at the moment, blood was flowing freely from many wounds and there were several broken bones, some compound fractures in his legs, and she found she had to close her eyes at the sight. Marlena held him while they waited for the trauma team to arrive on the roof. She held his hand and talked to him, begging him to live, “John, oh John, I love you! Don’t you leave me, don’t you leave our children! You… are their father too… in every way that matters and they need you, TJ. Oh, and so do I…. Oh, I love you so…. Don’t go baby, please don’t go!!”

As she was uttering these words of love to him, a frantic Marly arrived on the roof to see and hear all that Marlena said. She was petrified he would die and she had to deal with the fact that another woman still loved her husband. And he…loved her back. It was too much to think about at the moment. The important thing now was to do everything possible to save his life, the rest could be dealt with later. She stepped aside as the medical team arrived and began to care for TJ’s massive injuries, desperately trying to save his life. He was rushed into the ER, stabilized briefly and then immediately taken to the OR for surgery.

The whole remaining group of friends waited for news, but the surgery was to be a long one. John was still unconscious in his room, having hit his head when he fell earlier, and had no idea what had happened. Marlena alternated between sitting at his bedside and roaming the hallways with the others, Abe, Bo, Marly, and Laura. At a loss for words, they all milled around anxiously, in the deadening silence.

At one point, someone obviously thought of something they’d all forgotten and blurted it out, “Kristen! Someone really should tell her about what happened to…John, I mean TJ….and Shawn, Caroline, everyone. And what about Belle and Brady?”  

Marlena said with an almost eerily even tone, “I will go call Kristen now. I…can’t believe this is even happening. Bo, could you call your parents and Laura you call your family, alright?”

She felt numb and cared nothing about Kristen’s feelings, but would do her duty. “Yes, of course,” they answered in unison. Then Bo added, “Marlena, I hate to ask this but in case….do you want me to tell Mom and Pop to bring the kids. TJ would.. want to….”

Just the mere suggestion he might die was mortifying for her, and shaking her head she denied the possibility and his request, “I…can’t think like that Bo, I just can’t! Tell them… to call the nanny and see if she’s free. I’ll have her bring them to see him later… when we know something more, okay?”   

Bo came over and gave her a quick squeeze of a hug, hoping to provide her with some encouragement, “Whatever you say, Marlena. Hang in there, you know TJ is one tough guy, and he won’t give up easily.”

She only nodded to answer as tears came back to her eyes as they had done on and off since she saw one of the men she loved fall nearly to his death. ” I know…” Oh John, TJ, Marly what are we all going to do? Please don’t die on me, baby, please don’t die!’ She knew her feelings for him were as deep as those for the one in the other room, and it tore her heart in two. Seeing him fall and holding him as they waited for help brought the depth and strength of her love for TJ to her full awareness. He IS John Black to me, the man I have loved for more than ten years. I love him every bit as much, if not more. I love them both so much… ‘Oh, God help me…. what am I going to do now?’      

Marlena took some time to regain her composure for the tasks ahead. The phone call to Kristen…oh how she hated to talk to that witch, who never deserved a man like John or TJ. Fortunately, the call was brief, as a frantic Kristen dropped the phone to come to the hospital. Little did she know she was third in line for his affections with no chance of winning them.

Next, Marlena knew she had to tell John that his brother may very well be dying and she dreaded it. He had suffered so much pain and loss, and was still so ill and weak from the surgery and his ordeal. Earlier in the day he had been so happy, then he suffered the experience of re-living the horror of what Stefano had done to him and now…. this tragedy. She cried out silently for some relief from the suffering, ‘Oh Lord when will it all end, when will we ever be safe and happy?’

John was alone and beginning to awaken, and was slightly confused and disoriented upon opening his eyes. But he quickly remembered what he had last seen “DOC! Save her, TJ you have to save her! Oh God.. someone please tell me what happened!”

Marlena and Abe, who were within earshot, rushed in to see him, Moving swiftly to his bedside, Marlena allayed his fears, “John, I’m okay. Don’t worry… I’m just fine.” She tried to sound calm and reassuring, but felt she had failed.

Tremendous joy and relief washed over him and he said, “Thank God for that, I was so scared Doc, but I knew TJ would save you.” She let him hold her for a minute, but when he released her, John noticed that she was still trembling, obviously very upset. “Doc, where is TJ now?” He could see she was still completely unsettled and searched her face and eyes for the information her words hadn’t given. “Stefano.. did he…touch you, hurt you in any way?”

“No, John it’s not that. It’s…oh John… I don’t know how to tell you this… it’s about…” Marlena wondered how in the world she could tell him and how she could hide the intensity and depth of love she felt for TJ now. “It’s….oh…” She couldn’t do it… the fear of what would happen took control and she broke down in tears, sobbing.

“Tell me…. what Marlena?” He could see that her eyes were already swollen, her cheeks red, not to mention the new streaks made by fresh tears on her face. “Doc, what is it? what’s wrong?” he asked, wiping some of the moisture away, tenderly caressing her face.      

Obviously, she was just too upset about what happened and confused and guilty about her feelings, so Abe decided to answer for her, but he had trouble getting the words out as well. “John, it’s TJ…he saved Marlena and then he tried to stop Stefano. He… he was.. holding onto Stefano and the helicopter as it tried to take off and…Oh John..”

He felt a rush of sheer terror shoot through his entire being, as he demanded that Abe tell him what was wrong, “WHAT Abe? Where.. is TJ?”      

“John…….Stefano pushed him and he fell from about 20 feet to the ground… and he’s in surgery right now….. It doesn’t look good for him. I’m so sorry, John.”          

He shook his head violently and shut his eyes to force the truth from his mind. “No, NO, you’re saying he’s probably going to….die? My brother.. oh God…NO, this can’t be happening!” Then he wondered aloud about the fate of the man who caused it, “Stefano…did he?”

“He got away, John. There’s no trace so far, I’m so sorry.” Abe hated that evil monster of a man and what he had done to John and so many others.        

John looked anxiously to them for answers he knew they couldn’t give him. Then he cried out again, “Oh God, NOO!! I just…found him! How could God let this happen after everything we’ve all been through?” With all that had taken place in the space of only about a week this was just too much to handle. He closed his eyes and lost himself in grief and pain, and rage at Stefano. His tormentor and now the one who may have killed his twin brother. He could see from looking at Marlena that she was completely grief stricken, and the way she wouldn’t quite meet his eyes told him all he needed to know about her love for TJ. It was even stronger now as she worried and prayed for his life to be spared.

‘Oh Doc…if I lose you now…NO..’ He couldn’t let himself worry about that, TJ deserved all his energy and he prayed silently for his Lord to save the brother he had just learned he had. This isn’t fair, God. That bastard gets away again; he hurt me so…badly and Doc and now TJ too. Please God save my brother, I need him so much! and he has a wife and kids…and what about Belle and Brady….he’s their father, the only one they’ve known. Please don’t take him from them! And then the last thought pierced his heart to admit, ‘And, God please.. save him for Marlena, she still loves him very much and it would wound her…deeply to lose him and I couldn’t bear to see her suffer through that.’

When he finished praying he looked up at the woman he loved, and she was still crying. His eyes were wet as well, and they communicated their need to find comfort in their fear for TJ, together, in privacy. Picking up on their unspoken message, Abe left them to it, saying, “I’ll see you later on then….I’ll uh.. let you know if I hear anything more…” They nodded in response and he left the room without another sound.

When the door was closed and they were alone, Marlena finally spoke again, still tearful and feeling guilty, “Oh, John I’m so sorry, honey… for…everything!”         

He replied very quietly, gazing at her so tenderly, “I know..Doc, it’s okay… I know. You… love him too. It’s alright, we’ll figure it all out later.” She looked at him for a moment and wept with a different emotion, marveling at his ability to put the needs of others above his own. “Oh…. honey… I love you so…..” He smiled at her and took her in his loving arms, and she rested her weary head upon his shoulder as they leaned back on the bed. They stayed together, weeping and praying as they waited for news about the man they both cared for so dearly.


Fears and Tears

Kristen Black came running into the hospital, where she was immediately nabbed by several people, who planned to inform her about TJ and his condition. They also intended to tell her who TJ was as far as they were able to determine. Abe, Bo, Laura, and Jennifer were there, Marlena was still with John, having returned to him after slipping out to make the dreaded call to Kristen, and Mike was in surgery trying to save TJ’s life. Because Kristen believed her husband was hovering near death, she was frantic and couldn’t absorb much detail. Therefore, the group decided to wait until the crisis was over to explain the identity issue.

She knew that John had gone after Stefano, hoping to thwart the abduction and subsequently the kidnapper’s escape from justice, but was critically injured in the attempt. Throughout the past several months she’d wanted Marlena to disappear from Salem, but it never occurred to her that John would be in any real danger.

‘Oh, my God what have I done?’ She was cognizant that what had happened to the man she loved was as much her fault as Stefano’s. Kristen knew all along that John still cared deeply about Marlena and would risk anything for her safety, even death. The potential loss of him might be what it took to get her to come to grips with just how far she had strayed from being the decent person she once was. ‘If he dies, it will be the end result of all my lies and schemes to keep him,’ She was forced to admit that brutal truth. ‘I begged Stefano to come and take her again, knowing John would try to stop him.’



“Oh Lord, please save him and I will tell him….everything. I make a solemn vow to you now.”

She meant every word, she would do anything to save him. He didn’t deserve to die because of her desire to possess and control him, or because of her father’s lust for Marlena. “If he dies…..Oh God No, it can’t happen! I’ll give him up, Lord if that’s what it takes, but please don’t let him die!”

As she was praying in the hospital chapel, Kristen came to a decision that shocked even herself. She followed up with it and went straight to find Abe Carver, making a full confession of everything she had done to hold onto John. First the actions that could be considered criminal, and second, all she had done to manipulate John and keep him from Marlena, including the fake pregnancy and substitute baby scheme, as well as her role in Stefano’s previous kidnapping attempts. It felt strangely freeing to tell the truth; it had taken so much energy to keep secrets and hide what she had become from everyone she knew.

After she had made her confession, she felt a sense of peace come over her. Kristen appeared calm enough that the group waiting for news on the man they had all known as John Black for the past three years, decided it was time she learned of his true identity. As they spoke, Kristen somehow recognized it as the truth and offered no argument. Because she had already realized she would have to give him up, it was not quite the shock it would have been. Still there was a sense of dull emptiness in her heart. Knowing she had wronged him and been at least partially responsible for his current ordeal, she was willing to let him go. But to think she had done it all for someone other than John Black was unfathomable.

As much as she did that ultimately hurt John and Marlena, some of those gathered couldn’t help but feel just a little bit of something, if not compassion for her, though none would say she shouldn’t be punished to the fullest extent of the law for her crimes. Helping Stefano with kidnapping plots, being an accessory to the procedure performed on Laura Horton, and her ongoing deception of John, were hideous acts of treachery, for which everyone wanted her to face justice. Out of compassion for what the couple had once shared, Abe decided to let her stay for a short while, until there was some word on TJ’s condition.

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John and Marlena were still in John’s room, sitting together in his hospital bed. He had dropped off to sleep again, as it was a very emotional day. Even though he wanted to stay awake in order to hear whatever news there was, he had given up the fight after a couple hours.

Beforehand, they talked for a long time and John listened while Marlena shared some fond memories of time spent with TJ and the children while John was gone. He had to fight down his sense of loss about those years, and a touch of jealousy tried to make its way into his heart once again. It was so difficult hearing her talk of times without him, especially days spent with his children. There were so many special memories he could never have because his little babies were three years older, and worse, they would have no memory of him. That painful truth had been eating at him since the day he returned, and Marlena gently reminded him that the kids would need time to adjust and he would have to accept the reality that in the children’s eyes, TJ was their father. John would be a total stranger to them.

John’s heart was aching during the entire conversation, but he tried desperately to keep it from his voice and body language so as not to hurt Marlena. She didn’t need guilt feelings because of his reaction, so he hid it from her as best he could, when he saw the love in her eyes as she spoke of his twin brother. ‘Oh, Doc…I wonder if it can ever be the same for us. John was afraid he was going to lose her, and his fear of rejection by the children, along with his own guilt for feeling a little jealous, was difficult for him to handle in his current condition. He knew he needed to talk about it, but because he didn’t want to cause her any undue stress, he kept his feelings bottled up.

After sleeping for awhile, John awakened and asked Marlena what was going on, and was told that the surgery was still in progress. Having dreamed about never being able to share a life with Marlena and his children, a few minutes after awakening, he asked about them, “Doc, I…..know this is a rough time, but I….really want to see the kids. I’ve been back for over a week now and it’s been so long, Marlena.”

She didn’t think she had the strength to handle the stress of it all. Getting him ready so he didn’t frighten them by his appearance, preparing them for how he looked, and then dealing with the emotional aftershocks. “Oh, John I know you miss them, but there’s such turmoil right now. I don’t think it’s a good idea, honey. You’re still so tired and susceptible to infections. Maybe we should wait.” Marlena hated to disappoint him, but she was just too worn out.

John was hurt because he’d already asked about it a couple of times, and she’d turned him down each time. “Marlena, I can’t help but feel you’re trying to keep me from seeing them. Is there any reason you don’t want me to be with them? I promise I won’t push them for anything. I….just…Doc, I’ve missed three years of their lives! Don’t I deserve to at least see them?”

Observing the pain in his blue eyes pierced her heart, “Oh, of course you do, John. This is bad timing that’s all, with TJ in surgery, so critically injured. They’re going to need to see him when he is well enough to do that. And I don’t think they can handle too much stress all at once… and truthfully I’m not sure we can either.” She had to find a way to put him off, but she hated to do it. “Honestly, John I think that finding out about how badly their daddy….TJ, is hurt will upset them so much, and then to find out he’s not actually their father. I think it’s too much, John.”

He didn’t hear most of what she said after she referred to his brother as his children’s daddy. For all intents and purposes, John wasn’t that person to them, or to Marlena, and that brutal reality crushed his heart. He was the outsider to the family they formed in his absence; even though there wasn’t a romantic entanglement during that time, it was a family nonetheless. John was beginning to realize that he had a long struggle ahead if he ever hoped to re-establish himself in his role as a father. And to think he would regain his special place in Marlena’s life was another matter entirely. It was well beyond obvious that she felt torn.

Marlena noticed his downcast expression this time because he couldn’t hide his pain anymore. It simply required too much energy–more than he had left. She took his hand and asked him, “John, are you okay?”

He didn’t reply and he didn’t move. Instead, John just sat there with his head down. She could see he was hurting and surmised the reason correctly. “I’m sorry about calling him daddy. I know it must hurt you to hear that, and God knows I wish I could do something that would make this easier for you, but there just isn’t. It’s going to take a long time for them to understand, and turn to you the way they do to him, and I’m sorry if I made it seem in any way that it’s your fault, or that I value TJ’s feelings over yours John, because I don’t. The children’s needs are of primary concern here, right?”

“Right,” he said quietly with a barely perceptible nod of his head, once again laboring to conceal the deep sadness he felt about missing so much precious time during their developmental years. “I’ll deal with it somehow, Doc.” John quit asking and just leaned back, quietly wishing he could turn back time….

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A short time later, Mike Horton came out and informed the gathering of TJ’s current status He was out of surgery and still alive, but barely. He was in a coma-like state and still in extremely critical condition. Marly was near hysterics at the thought of losing him so soon after finding him again. She lashed out at Kristen who was flabbergasted by the woman’s tirade, but offered no argument, letting Marly vent her fears and anger. Laura was trying to calm Marly down and guided the distraught young woman back to her office for some privacy. Abe took Kristen to the station for booking and Bo went with him.

Shawn and Caroline, along with Mickey and Maggie, had arrived shortly after Kristen, and they decided to stay on awhile to support John and Marlena. Carrie came back out to the hospital as well. Sami stayed home as did Austin, Billie and Hope.

The children were with the nanny, but it would soon be time to tell them something as they sensed the tension that had been developing over the past several days. Belle and Brady saw much less of both their mother and their father than usual, and they knew that meant something was wrong. They knew Daddy was having bad headaches and was in the hospital for a few days, nothing more, but they weren’t quite sure why Mommy wasn’t as available as usual, other than the fact of her visiting him daily.

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Next, Mike came into John’s room, only to find that he had fallen asleep again. It was a long wait for an update and his friend was worn out, so Mike decided to tell him later. Upon hearing the news of how critical TJ’s condition was, Marlena went out to see the others. She collapsed in Maggie’s matronly arms and began to cry for the two men she loved, and for their children, whom she knew were going to be overwhelmed with all the changes ahead.

“Oh, Maggie, this is just so.. horrible!” she cried. “I can hardly believe all that’s happened in the past week and a half. I don’t think I’m going to make it through this. Oh… what if he dies? And John…if he loses his brother now.. he’s still so…vulnerable to relapse. What are we all going to do, Maggie?”

Cupping her friend’s face between her hands, Maggie tried to bolster her faith,

“Marlena, we just have to pray and think positively about it. You know how tough they both are, they’ll get through this. We have to believe that!” Maggie took her long time friend by the hand and guided her to sit down in one of the lounges. And Lexie, who had just gotten off her shift, sat with her while Maggie went to get some food. Everyone had been worried because Marlena hadn’t stopped to eat or rest all day long. She was so busy taking care of everyone else, as usual, and she was reaching the breaking point.

Lexie put her arm around her friend, saying, “Marlena, they will both recover from this, and then you and John will have the chance to finally be together the way you always should have been.”

She was slightly puzzled when she saw the hint of guilt cross her friend’s face. “Marlena, what is it?”

It was agony, being so torn, and she had to tell someone about it. “Oh, Lexie….I still love TJ too. He saved me so many times and today he..” She covered her mouth with her hands as she fought back tears again. ” When he fell, he yelled to me that he loved me and then I held him, and I thought he was dying right there. I realized I love him every bit as much as John. She shook her head in disbelief and cried, “Oh, Lexie, what am I going to do? I’ve been through all this before and it just about killed me. I don’t think I can do it again.”

Lexie held her friend and let her cry it out as she so obviously needed to do, encouraging her with her words as well, “Let it out, just let it go Marlena. It’s going to be okay somehow.”

After awhile, Marlena began to calm down and share some more of her thoughts. “Lexie, the worst part of it is that John knows. He could see how upset I was, and he was so good about it. I know it has to be tearing him apart to see how I feel about TJ and how the kids love him as their father, but he has been so understanding. He’s.. hurting so much, both physically and emotionally, and he’s been trying to put it all on hold to comfort me and help TJ. He deserves better than this half-welcome home he’s getting. I feel so bad for him, and so confused right now.”

“Oh sweety, you are such a wonderful person and you have been tremendously strong for both of them, but now you need to take care of yourself too. Neither of them would want you to get sick because you were worried about them. You need to get away from the hospital and get some rest, spend some time with your children, and let us watch over John and TJ.”

“You’re right, but they need me, especially John. He’s trying to put up a brave front, but he’s so shaken by what Stefano did to him and he hasn’t had much time to deal with it all . I shudder inside every time I see the scars on his ankles and wrists from the shackles, and all the cuts and bruises on his body. It’s going to take a long time for him to heal. I know he’s self-conscious about it, and his skin color, his weight. And that’s just on the outside. Stefano must have been so cruel to him Lexie.” When she allowed herself to dwell on it, all she wanted to do was to run home, bury herself under the covers, and shut out the whole world for just a little while.

“Well tonight, Abe and I will be here for them and you will go home and take a long hot bath and forget all about everyone else’s needs. Can you do that for me, for yourself ?”

Maggie returned toward the end of the conversation and chimed in, “Yes, she will and I will make sure of it, because I will take her home and help with the children after the nanny leaves for the night. Okay, Marlena?” Maggie was loving and yet firm in her tone. She wasn’t about to take no for an answer.

“Do you know how much it means to have friends like you two? Thank you for listening and letting me cry on your shoulders, and for helping me see that I do need to take care of myself too.” She was so grateful for the support and the two women hugged her warmly.

Maggie had brought sandwiches and coffee for the three of them and they sat down to eat it just as Shawn, Caroline and Carrie came in to see how they were all doing. The older couple and their granddaughter also had some dinner and sat down to share a meal. Caroline set hers down and embraced Marlena saying, “Marlena, we will all get through this somehow. God will be there through it all. I love you, dear and whenever you need to talk I’ll be glad to listen.”

The support felt wonderful, “Thank you so much Caroline, you always have been there when I’ve needed you, and it means so much to me.”

Carrie too came over and embraced the woman she thought of as a mother, saying, “Oh, Marlena… somehow TJ and John will both be alright. We just have to believe that! And I will always be here for you too, any time you need me.”

“My sweet Carrie girl, you have grown into such a wonderful, caring young woman. Your support means so much to me Carrie, thank you.”

Then the six of them sat in quiet contemplation as they ate and sent up their hopes and prayers for John and TJ to recover from their wounds, both psychological and physical.


Crisis of Faith in Love

It was approximately 24 hours after TJ suffered the horrible fall and he lay near death in a coma in ICU at University Hospital. Marly Edwards cried for as long as she needed, letting all of her anger and grief go, as her new friend Laura Horton listened and supported her. They were in the psychiatrist’s office and she was talking only slightly more calmly with the friend of Marlena Evans, who still loved the man she had believed was John Black. Marly was discussing the whole crazy situation and said emphatically, “But he’s my husband, Laura, and she has to let go! She has her own man. TJ is mine, and he’ll never commit to me again if she doesn’t.”

“Marly, she knows that, but you have to realize something. They’ve been through a lot together, some very intense, life threatening situations, and the bond between them is strong. It’s not something either one of them can just let go of because they found out he was someone named TJ and not John. Can you try to understand?”     

She *was* trying, but all she could think of were the years she had lost because of some sick madman’s schemes for revenge and possession of the very woman they just mentioned. “I am Laura, but he’s my husband and I’ve already lost three years with him. Three years of crying myself to sleep at night, of wishing and hoping and praying that by some miracle he would come back to me. Three years of waking up in the middle of the night after dreaming of him, only to realize he wasn’t really there with me. Three years of having to explain to my babies why their daddy never came home to us! Wel, I don’t want to *wait* any more! I love him with all my heart and soul, and I want him back!

“Oh, I finally found him, he’s in love with another woman, and now he might die, it’s just so unfair!”

She broke down again and Laura decided she needed to rest, and therefore calmly said, “Marly I know this is so difficult to handle, and you really need to get some sleep. Will you let me get you something that will help you to relax?”

“No! I want to be wide awake to hear any news there is on TJ. I can’t rest until I know something more.” Reluctantly, she laid down on the small couch in Laura’s office and eventually fell asleep, even as she fought it. Laura pulled out an afghan and placed it gently over Marly’s sleeping form, and then sat with her for awhile.

She spoke out loud about the insanity in which they were all embroiled because of one evil man’s lies and schemes. “Oh, Marly…this situation seems to get more complicated by the minute.” She ran through it in her mind, praying for miracles. Pushing out a weary sigh, Laura said out loud, as she left the office and entered the hallway, “Oh, I wonder if anyone will ever feel okay again.”

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Marlena finally allowed herself to relax and take a bath at the Penthouse, as Maggie and Lexie encouraged her to do. She needed to get away from the emotional turmoil of the hospital environment and the tremendous needs of the two men she loved.

‘Two men….not again,’ she thought. How can I possibly go through all this again? Stop it, Marlena you have to let it go for just this little bit of time and relax. She sank down into the warmth and thought of the children, and her thoughts turned naturally to how much they loved TJ, how their little eyes sparkled with joy whenever he came into a room. They adored him and loved it when he played with them. But, he’s not their father…John is…. No that’s not right either. TJ is the father they have grown to know and love.

When John was…imprisoned by Stefano, Brady was just becoming a toddler and Belle was practically a newborn and they have no memory of him. ‘Oh John… I know that hurts you so… and you’re afraid they will never love you like they do TJ. “Oh, what are we all going to do?”

Marlena tried to get these stressful questions out of her head, but she couldn’t as her mind took her back to the moment when TJ fell from the helicopter. She ran to him and held him as she waited for help. His body was so broken, crumpled like a rag doll, and she thought he was going to die before making into the ER, let alone survive surgery. It was as if the life was flowing out of him; she sensed his spirit leaving his body and then it seemed to return as she spoke to him, begging him not to leave her and everyone else who loved him.



‘Oh, TJ don’t you dare die on me, baby. I love you and we have so much to talk about, you and I, so many misunderstandings to clear up. We have to be completely honest with each other and then we have to let go, somehow. If we don’t, we’ll destroy our own future. My place is with John and I love him deeply, and I’m so grateful to you for helping me see that. He deserves to have all of my heart and I intend to give it to him, but I have to acknowledge my love for you and say goodbye to you first. Otherwise, you will stay in my heart just as John did when Roman came back to Salem… That would ruin my relationship with John, and I don’t want that to happen. And you also have to let me go so you can find your love for Marly again, and have the life with her and your children that you deserve.’

She admitted to herself that it was all easier said than done. When she actually thought of saying the word goodbye after being completely open about her feelings for him, she couldn’t imagine how she would find the strength and courage to do it, and then just watch him leave with Marly on his arm. She wondered if it would be equally as difficult for him, imagining it might be even more difficult because he did not yet have an active memory of his time with or his love for Marly like Marlena did with John. He would be leaving with someone who was virtually a stranger, taking it on faith that he had loved her deeply and shared many years in marriage with her.  

After soaking in warm water for a long while, Marlena was able to relax and was ready to fall asleep. Upon getting out of the tub, she laid down on the bed snuggled up in her old terry cloth robe, allowing herself to drift off slowly. And at last she felt peaceful. Soon, she was in blissful dreamland where there were only happy times, no stress, no pain and only one man to love.

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John was alone in his room at the hospital sleeping and dreaming too, but his dreams weren’t so peaceful. His were filled with the images of his long and tortuous captivity. He first remembered all the tapes Stefano made him watch. The sadistic madman had placed large screens all around and turned the sound up to a level that could not be ignored. It was agonizing to see the kids, to hear their laughter and observe their adoration for TJ, rather than himself. Stefano always made it a point to twist the knife about how close they all seemed, driving home the idea that Marlena had no idea the man wasn’t John. And the bastard never failed to remind John that he would be held by Stefano for the rest of his life, all the while knowing that TJ was raising his children.

That bastard’s malicious laughter was with him still, and in his dream he called out as he had then, “NO! Doc, it isn’t me! Belle, Brady… your Daddy will try to come home to you, I love you!”

Then in this new dream, he told them he was their father, and that he was kept away from them when he wanted to be there. John and Marlena and TJ were there as they told the children TJ was not their real father. The kids were confused and clung to TJ, while staring at John, who was still so ill-looking that they were frightened by his appearance.           

Belle said, “No, you not my daddy! That my Daddy. He big and stwong! You not wike him at all. I want to be wif my *weal* Daddy!” She went around and held on to TJ’s pant leg and hid behind him. She wouldn’t even look at John again.



Brady stared a little longer at the strange man who looked somewhat like his father, but whose skin was so pale and whose body was so battered and weak looking. “Belle’s right, you look a little like my Daddy, but you aren’t him. My Daddy is big and strong and he would never leave us for so long. I want to stay with my real Daddy too.” Then the boy did the same thing, clinging on to the other pant leg.          



John cried out, his heart crushed by their rejection, “No, *I’m* you’re real Daddy and I love you! I still don’t look so good because a bad man hurt me and kept me from being with you. I’ve missed you so much, please don’t hide from me. I promise I won’t hurt you.”



The children continued to shy away from him. The dream scene ended with them walking away with TJ and Marlena, who said, “I’m sorry, John but we tried. They love TJ now. There’s nothing we can do about it.”       



“NO! Don’t take them away from me! It wasn’t my fault I wasn’t there. Stefano held me prisoner and kept me from you. Please don’t leave me, kids!” He pleaded with his love as they all walked away from him, shaking their heads as if the only thing they felt for him was pity. “Doc, please don’t take them from me, they’re my children too!”



He sat up quickly in bed, awake, after having shouted out in his dream. Even after he was fully alert, John was still shaky and sweating, and the powerful emotions from the dream were with him, illustrating his worst fear–losing both Marlena and the children to TJ.

John turned to God with his concerns, “Oh, Lord please don’t let it happen that way. I couldn’t bear to lose them. Please help them accept the truth when we tell them and learn to love me one day. I love them so much and I’ve missed so much of their lives. I want to see them and hold them again. It hurts me that Doc won’t let me see them yet. Please help her understand how I feel and reconsider.”

As promised, Abe and Lexie stayed at the hospital to watch over TJ and John. Sitting on bench near his room, they heard him calling out in his sleep. Abe came rushing to see if John was okay and arrived just before his friend began to pray. He approached the bed and put a hand on John’s shoulder for support. John looked up to acknowledge his friend’s presence and then proceeded to pray, while Abe went to sit down across from him.

When John finished Abe said, “Do you want to tell me what that was all about? I heard you calling out in your sleep.”

“Well, I was… dreaming about telling the kids that I’m their father and they rejected me completely, saying TJ was their real father and that he was big and strong and I wasn’t anything like him.” John was struggling to keep his emotions in check as he thought of it actually happening that way. “Then Doc and TJ walked away with them, and left me alone. They were afraid of me and they wouldn’t even let me near them because of how I look.” He started to feel the fear intensify, his voice trembling slightly as he asked a question, “Abe, what if it.. happens like that, what if they… don’t ever.. love me?”          

Patting his friend on the arm, Abe tried to help him calm down and think rationally, “Hey, buddy it was just a dream. It’s going to work out okay in the long run. They’ll grow to love you and yet still care for TJ, just like Carrie, Sami and Eric continued to love you.” He could tell John was quite shaken by the dream , and wondered if there were more to it. “John, is something else you’re worried about?”           

John hated to admit it out loud, but he couldn’t keep his fears to himself any more. “Yea… it’s Doc, she’s uh, she’s…in love with TJ. I could see it in her eyes today. She couldn’t quite look at me at first, but it was all over her face. She loves him as much or more than me right now. I’m…scared Abe, really scared.. that I’m gonna lose her, and the kids too.”     

Abe blew out a long breath and said, “Oh, John I know this is all a lot to handle, but aren’t you getting ahead of yourself a little bit here? How do you really know how she feels about TJ?”     

“She admitted it to me. I told her it was okay and that I knew, and she admitted it, Abe. I tried to hide how much it hurt, but she knew that too. This is killing me! I’m trying so hard to be understanding about her feelings for him and the kids’ love for him. And with all that’s happening, I feel so…guilty for being even a little bit jealous of TJ. It’s not his fault, how can I be jealous of him and now… he might die. What kind of man am I?”

“A very good one who has just been through hell and came back to less a than ideal situation. Don’t be so hard on yourself, John. You’ve been trying to keep your pain all locked up inside, but you can’t continue to do that. I heard Mike say he thinks it might be holding back your recovery.”

He was quiet for a minute or two and he said, “Now, I finally know how Roman really felt. I always tried to understand, but I just couldn’t because I hadn’t been in his place, and now I am. It hurts like hell to think everyone just went on with their lives while I was….”

John stopped again as scattered images of his suffering flashed rapid-fire in his mind, and the accompanying emotions threatened to overwhelm him. He had held it back this long, why not longer? But, for reasons John didn’t understand, he couldn’t keep it in this time. His voice cracked as he shut his eyes, remembering. “Oh Abe, he was sadistic! I was.. in pain.. almost every single day… and he made me watch these damn… videotapes of everyone together. Laughing, having parties at the Pub, Marlena and the kids with TJ…”

“John, I am so sorry! I should have known it wasn’t you. I should have come for you.” Abe moved closer to the bed and hugged his buddy lightly, noticing the battle his friend waged for control over his emotions. So, he added quietly, “Go ahead, John let yourself feel it, and let it go. It’s okay.”      

That invitation was all it took to release the floodgates he had held back since his return. Through choking sobs, he tried to talk. His words came out in broken phrases, ” Oh God, it was… horrible, Abe! Sometimes, I wanted to die, just so it’d be over. But.. every time I was.. really bad off…he made sure I recovered just enough so I wouldn’t. After the drugs and his.. sick little tortures… sometimes he… he left me alone for days, or weeks… in total darkness. It was so.. cold, Abe, and I was.. hungry… And he made sure I knew… that everyone I loved thought I was fine, so I’d realize that nobody would ever… come looking for me. ” John’s entire body shook from the release of emotions he had not been allowing himself to feel in order to survive the experience.        

Abe just held his friend and encouraged him to open up about his terrible ordeal, because he knew it was the first step to true healing. He was filled with rage at the pain and suffering John had to endure while feeling hopeless about ever being found. “Oh, John…I HATE him for what he did to you! He is going to pay for this, for all of it!!”

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Marlena was sleeping peacefully, but suddenly her spirit experienced an intense and overwhelming sense of anguish. She sat up in bed almost wide awake and called out about what she felt, “John!!”