Out of The Blue – By Sandra B

She twirled the gold band on her left ring finger. Marlena Evans-Black didn’t yet have the strength to take it off, maybe she never would. And maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe that was the problem; he had such a hold on her that even if she removed the outward symbol of their union, he would still have her heart.

It was late and she was sitting alone in her office, staring at the wedding photograph he’d had framed for her to set on her desk. She smiled… it was so perfect that day, it came off without a hint of trouble, well almost, and then less than a year later, their hopes and dreams were shattered by shocking revelations. Soon thereafter John was gone from her life, having mysteriously vanished one night shortly after the truth came out in public fashion. He had run away, apparently unwilling to suffer the consequences resulting from his misdeeds. Marlena Evans and all of Salem mourned the loss of the man he once was, and by the time mid August rolled around, she was in the process of moving on.

As she pondered how they could have lost what seemed so right and true, her mind took her back in time, to the early days.. the crazy complicated yet infinitely simpler times when their love was strong and true, when there were no questions about the kind of man he was inside. How could it be that once they knew what he had been, who he had been in his life with Stefano, they found he wasn’t the same kind of man he was when he had no memory at all. He lied to everyone he loved, he hid the truth, and he made bargains with the devil incarnate, Stefano Dimera.

Still, she longed to speak with him, to try and make sense of it, to understand how he could have ever believed that anything the man said would come to pass. How could he have gone to that man for help and expected it to work out in anyone’s favor but that of the evil madman who never kept his promises? It broke her heart and made her cry to think John would betray her trust so calculatingly, ‘Oh, John… why? How could you do that to me… to all of us? I don’t understand! I wish you hadn’t taken the coward’s way out… I wish you would come back to me and face this…”

Her distressing thoughts were interrupted by the shrill sound of the telephone ringing… She picked it up if only to stop the noise, “Hello, Salem University Hospital, Dr. Marlena Evans speaking. May I help you?”

The caller sighed with relief, saying, “Oh, thank goodness, Doctor Evans, I was hoping you were still there like the operator said you were… I know it’s late… I’m Doctor Jeffrey Purdue, a psychiatrist at West Seattle Psychiatric Hospital. I’ve heard of your success with Dissociative Disorder and Amnesia… and I’ve got a case I’d like some help with… I was wondering if you might consider doing some consulting work on a patient I have in my care.”

It might be just the distraction she needed… “Well, I might be… what is it you need my help with, or shall I say whom?”

The man smiled, thinking that everything he’d heard about the woman was right on the money. “Well, that’s part of the problem, he doesn’t seem to know… but from his behavior there is evidence of at least two separate personas at this point, maybe more… I could really use your help on this one… How about I send you an email with the patient’s profile and you could give me your feedback as to how I might proceed. I don’t want to encourage the wrong personality construct to emerge and take control over the core of personality. He’s in a very vulnerable state right now.”

“Yes… that’s very important… yes, please send it to me tonight and I’ll review it right away. I have to admit, I could really use something new to focus on at the moment. Thank you for thinking of me.”

“I only go to the best, Dr. Evans… thank you so much.. I look forward to hearing from you.”

After making a few quick notes in the case file, Jeff saved his document on the computer and the disc and then fired off the email. When the task was complete, he decided it wise to make one last check on his John Doe patient. The man seemed so vulnerable, and yet it was clear he’d once been a strong vital man. Whatever had happened to him had scarred him in many ways. If only they could find a way to reach inside to where it hurt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stefano remembered the night in great detail… it was exactly one month ago and there was still no definitive lead on the man’s whereabouts, alive or dead. He was days at the most a couple of weeks away from achieving his goal. Shaking his head in disgust, he had yelled at his underlings, “What do you mean he got away? You IDIOTS! I was so close to breaking him… to bringing the old John back to us… how could you have let this happen… there’s no telling what he’ll do now that I’ve begun the process! Rolf… tell me… I need to know what you think about this.. “

“Stefano… I told you… it’s unpredictable. The reason he got away was he went beserk and fought off five of your best men. He stole a truck and drove off the estate… before we could get a man on him he was long gone… without a trace.”

“Don’t waste my time with excuses… tell me what I need to know! We did not complete the process of restoring the original… what do you think will happen? Which personality will dominate, Rolf?”

 

“Stefano, there’s no way of telling… He could become extremely agitated and violent because of the volatile mix of the three basic personalities, he could go back to being the ruthless mercenary you trained, or he could forget we ever had him again and return to Salem as if nothing ever happened. He might even cling to the Roman Brady persona for all I know… I just can’t say for certain… especially because he was still under the influence of the drugs. We don’t know how close we really were to bringing him all the way back.”

Understanding that reality, he cursed his fate, and made a command that best be met immediately, “Dammit… Find him Bart… you find him and get him back here or it’s the last job you’ll ever do for me… do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir Boss… I’ll get every man we’ve got on it… we’ll find him!” Bart wasted no time, nearly sprinting out of the office, and racing to his car. At least if he weren’t on site, he stood a better chance of remaining alive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having reviewed the material at least three times, Marlena wondered if it were just a case of wishful thinking, seeing what she wanted to see in the file of another John Doe patient. Marlena laughed at the irony of it… that was how it all started so long ago. She’d read over two dozen in the three months he’d been missing, hoping to find some trace of the man she loved. She didn’t even know why she was doing it… why John Doe files anyway? There was no logical reason… it was just an instinct she had that fought for the love they shared, not wanting to believe he would just walk out on her and never bother to call or write to say goodbye to her and the children.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Patient John Doe is a white male, approximately age 45. Height estimated at 6’2. His thick dark hair was long and unkempt upon admission, his blue eyes alternately wild with terror and rage or dim and unfocused. He was found wandering in a forest outside of Seattle Washington, near Lake Wenatchee, by a group of hikers. He was wearing only a battered pair of blue jeans, no shirt, no socks or shoes. There was evidence of physical abuse of a bizarre nature. The victim had welts around his wrists and ankles, presumably left by shackles, bruises and marks made by various instruments of the apparently systematic torture he endured. He was also emaciated, as if starved for a prolonged period. When the hikers asked him his name, he became agitated and appeared confused, as if he didn’t know. They were wary of him, thinking he might become violent and hurt them, so they gave him some water in a canteen, along with some food and then waited at a discreet distance.

Fortunately, no confrontation was necessary because he passed out shortly thereafter, having been suffering from severe exhaustion. They subsequently brought him to the Wenatchee Community Hospital where he was treated for his physical injuries. At no time during the week or so that he was there, did he ever attempt to speak. When spoken to, or questioned about his identity or his experiences, he appeared to hear but seemed unable to process the information and became anxious and agitated, even combative.

A powerful combination of drugs was found in his bloodstream, some commonly known to be used on prisoners of war or members of various Resistance groups as documented by Amnesty International. It is unknown whether permanent brain damage was caused by these drugs, some of which were unidentifiable, unknown to authorities and experts in the field. The EEG, CT, and MRI scans of the brain have been inconclusive thus far, showing the effects of multiple concussion injuries, but no other detectable impact from the protracted maltreatment. The kidneys and liver have sustained a mild-moderate level of damage, as a result of the powerful chemicals circulating throughout his body. It is hoped that with ongoing medical intervention, these problems will resolve on their own.

Once the patient was deemed medically stable, he was transferred to WSPH for psychiatric assessment and treatment. His current diagnosis according to the DSM-IV is as follows:

Axis I: R/O 294.0–Amnesia due to physical and psychological trauma, 309.81-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Acute, 300.15-Dissociative Disorder, not otherwise specified

Axis II: Diagnosis Deferred

Axis III: Evidence of systematic torture: repeated head trauma, multiple cuts, contusions, and abrasions, shackle marks on wrists and ankles, marked weight loss and resulting malnutrition, internal injuries.

Axis IV: No evidence of identity or support system

Axis V: Global Assessment of Functioning: 25

Since transfer, patient has remained mute a large portion of the time, and tends to isolate himself from others. Occasionally cries out during what appears to be vivid reliving of the traumatic events which presumably led to this hospitalization. Pt. has violent outbursts when medications are administered by injection, therefore recommendation was made for sublingual mode. If not possible, recommend indwelling catheter for least intrusive provision of regular IM, IV, or subcutaneous medication.

Current Medications:

Carbamazapine: 600 mg/day administered 200mg TID

Imipramine: 150mg–50tab TID

Haloperidol: 5mg IM hourly x 3-4hrs, PRN for periods of extreme agitation

Ativan: 2-4mg IM, PRN for anxiety in combination with haloperidol

Lastly, there was a note from the physician, stating his concerns for the patient who was so clearly suffering from severe trauma, both physical and emotional.

Doctor Evans, your input on this case will be greatly appreciated. We are at a loss as to how to help him. Patient John Doe has been exposed to all modes of therapy available. Even music therapy has been unsuccessful thus far. Our highly skilled, experienced therapist chose a piece of classical music which calms most patients, and he became extremely agitated in response, gripping his head as if fighting off some severe pain, and calling out for a doctor. Then when I came to his aide, he became even more upset the moment he heard my voice. Any ideas you might have will be of tremendous assistance in our quest to help this unfortunate unidentified man. There have been no visitors and no calls regarding his potential identity. I fear that the longer this goes on, the less likely we are to have any success in treating him.

She read it again… that last line just wouldn’t let go… classical music…calling out for a doctor… then getting upset when the man came… Could it be? ‘Oh, John… could it be you? And were calling out for me?‘

She clicked on the final attachment, which was a jpeg image… Upon opening it, she felt immediately nauseated and fought the urge to vomit. He looked terrible.. so haggard, and disheveled, not at all like the handsome, well built, sharp dressed man who was last seen walking the length of the pier after a confrontation with Bo Brady, a man he once called brother. But, there was no doubt in her mind. The person in that picture was a man she knew and once loved with all her heart and soul….

 

“Oh, my God…. John… Abe was right, Stefano had you… and he was going to turn you back…. Oh…honey!”

It took several long minutes for Marlena to recover a modicum of control over her emotions, her stomach churning with acid, her heart feeling some measure of his pain. She couldn’t see for the tears but she couldn’t take her eyes off the photographic image that stared back at her……



He looked so…. broken… his pale blue eyes resonating with a distant agony, a soul piercing pain their owner apparently could not face in his present reality. John had been taken when at his very lowest point, and therefore could not fight so tenaciously as he once had to retain his identity. And who was to know the extent of the terror and misery Stefano might inflict upon his captive in order to reclaim his pawn… “Oh, John….” she cried, not able to look away from the battle weary countenance of the man who had hurt her so deeply, her voice a soft tearful whisper as she turned to the heavens for divine intervention, “Oh, dear God.. you know that I… have been.. so hurt.. and so… angry about what he did… but I never…. wanted…to see him like this…” With her hands covering her mouth as if that act might hold the fear for his sanity at bay, she implored her heavenly father to hear her plea, ” Oh, please…. God… help me…. to reach him… help me to find *my* John Black… the man that I still… love… with all my.. heart.”



After weeping for what seemed to be an eternity, but in reality was only several intensely distressing minutes, she rose and went to the restroom nearby her office to wash her face. Once she felt slightly settled with the immediate task ahead, Marlena pushed aside her anxious concerns and composed an email reply to the young doctor who had called a short time earlier.





Dear Doctor Purdue,



I am most definitely interested in this patient and I think I might be able to help you in working with him. It just so happens I was due for a vacation and I had been planning to come to the West Coast. If it would be of interest to you, I would like to make an in person consultation with regard to your John Doe. It looks and sounds as though he has been severely traumatized. As you know, I have a considerable amount of experience in working with victims of this type of abusive trauma and I would be pleased to extend you the courtesy of offering my professional experience in a more direct fashion.



I look forward to hearing from you before I make arrangements to travel to Seattle. I am prepared to come almost immediately. Please contact me via email or by telephone at home or pager, as included with this reply.



She sighed wearily, somehow feeling the weight of the world on her slender shoulders, wondering just how much she should tell the other people who loved John Black, despite their anger with his recent conduct. What should she tell the children, or their friends and other family members for that matter? Should she tell them anything yet, or should she wait until she knew more? Deciding she didn’t have enough information about his situation to know whether the man she married would ever return, Marlena concluded that maybe it was better left unsaid until she’d seen him and made her own assessment.



Having included every conceivable method of contacting her in the email to Dr. Purdue, Marlena hurriedly finished her charting and rushed out of the hospital, thankful she had the weekend free. She could fly out and see John and then decide what to do. The psychiatrist in her knew that she couldn’t allow herself to think any further than that, not yet. If she did, the fear for his sanity would overwhelm her, and if that happened, she wouldn’t be able to guide him toward wellness.



For a moment or two, Marlena debated what she should do about arranging a commercial flight, when it suddenly occurred that there had been no divorce, and therefore no settlement. John hadn’t touched his funds and left her in control of whatever she needed, therefore she could take the Jet… It almost made her smile… once in awhile the money did come in handy. She sighed with an odd sense of relief. Now, at the very least, a few of the mysteries had been solved. The reason her husband hadn’t called or written to her and their children was that John hadn’t planned on leaving; he was taken against his will.



Having revealed John’s secrets in a very public fashion, Stefano knew that John, in a retaliatory strike, was in the process of giving what amounted to depositions about his recollections of a life of crime under the wicked man’s cruel tutelage. Therefore, in Stefano Dimera’s demented vindictive line of thinking, the enemy had to be stopped. Turning John back into the man who had been under his complete control was a way to accomplish two goals at once, doling out punishment being foremost in his mind, the avoidance of prosecution providing secondary gain.



Once at home Marlena, quickly packed her bag, then rifled through her recent journals for some relevant articles and assessment tools. Following that, she grabbed her pocket version of the DSM-IV, and a reference text on techniques for use with victims of PTSD as well as patients diagnosed with Dissociative Disorders, then headed out the door, cell phone in hand.



It was very late when the telephone rang in the Pub. Shawn was awake, but Caroline was sleeping. “Hello,” he said, in hushed tones, hoping his wife didn’t awaken. She didn’t get much sleep these days. She was still so upset for all of them, including John… wondering what was happening to him, whether he was safe, worrying over Bo’s anger.. and Hope’s depression, not to mention the poor unfortunate child that was the product of the one time unwitting dalliance between Hope and John. It was a low birth weight baby with chronic breathing difficulties, damaged by the smoking and drinking the Gina persona had done during the early months of the pregnancy. Neither of the baby’s custodial parents had bonded easily with their son and it seemed the child might not live to see the six month anniversary of his birth, let alone his first birthday.



His reverie was interrupted by a familiar voice, “Shawn, I’m sorry to call you so late, but I’ve had an emergency with an old patient and I have to go out of town for the weekend. Could you by any chance watch the children for me? Chelsea can stay the night but she’s unavailable for Saturday and Sunday.”



“Sure, Marlena… but what is it lass… you sound verra upset… “



“It’s alright… I’m just anxious to make the flight, Shawn…. Thank you so much for doing this.. Chelsea can stay until 10 in the morning.. and then she has to leave…”



“We’ll be there by nine.. you know those two little angels are very near and dear to our hearts… You just stay safe, you hear… we need you around here…”



After everything that involved herself and the man she loved which caused them pain, it was heartwarming the way they still loved and accepted her, “I will… goodbye, Shawn… I’ll talk to you on Sunday night.”



‘Whew… one down, one to go,’ she thought as she started the car’s engine. Shortly after she headed out of the parking garage, she was listening to the phone ring on the other end. It took a moment, but the voice she needed to hear was finally on the line… “Carver here…”



Blowing out a long sigh of relief, she exclaimed, “Abe… thank goodness you’re still at the station! “



“Marlena.. what is it?” he asked, instinctively knowing something very important was happening.



She hesitated for only a moment before coming out with the truth, “It’s… John…I found him, Abe… and I think you were right about what happened to him.”



There was a stunned silence for a protracted moment before he expressed his reaction verbally. “Oh, my God… Marlena… I thought we were never going to hear from him again… Where is he?” asked the man’s best friend, worried and excited about the news at the same time.



“I got a call tonight, Abe.. from a psychiatrist in a Seattle psychiatric hospital. They have a John Doe patient.. he’s been severely traumatized…. Listen to this report….” She began to read him certain phrases… followed by the five axis diagnosis, explaining what each one stood for… There was another meaningful silence on the line…the only sound she heard was his slightly labored breathing…



At last, he said something, unable to contain his fear for his buddy’s sanity, “Oh, Marlena… it’s him, isn’t it?”



“Yes… Abe, there was also a picture… I’m sure that it’s John… he’s in horrible shape… but it’s him… I know it is… “



“What are you going to do?”



“I’m flying out there… right now… I just called to let you know what I’ll be doing… “



“Do you want me to come with you?”



“No… I have to be absolutely sure, Abe.. but from what the psychiatrist said, John is struggling with at least two separate personalities… and he’s not….Oh.. he’s not… talking… at least not very much, and he’s agitated and combative.”



“Oh, no…..I’m so sorry… That Bastard! I knew he was responsible for John’s disappearance!”



“Yes…so am I… Abe, and I hate to admit it… but it’s possible that… we might never see the John we know and love… With everything that’s happened to him over the years… not to mention recently, we might not be able to bring him back from this.”



A sense of mutual remorse filled the air as he responded apologetically, “I should have done more… I should have kept looking, Marlena… I’m so sorry… “



“No, Abe… don’t blame yourself for this…. we all knew he was in danger. Even John knew…. but we were all in shock… we were hurt and angry, and we weren’t thinking clearly. That’s how Stefano got to him.”



“Marlena, I think I should come with you… you’re going to need some support… if it’s as bad as all that… it’s going to be… rough on you too.”



She nodded her agreement and then explained her reason for turning him down, “I know… but I can handle it, Abe.. really… and I don’t want to alert the family until I have a better handle on exactly what his condition is… maybe make some kind of assessment of his prognosis…There’s no sense getting people’s hopes up if it turns out I can’t reach him.”



She sounded so worried and Abe was compelled to remind her of the strength of the ties between them, despite their recent turmoil. “Marlena… you have to know… that if anyone can reach him… it’s you. No matter what else has come and gone in his life… he loves you… and he *needs* you. Your love… is more powerful than Stefano’s hate… didn’t I hear you and John say that?”



She burst into tears upon hearing their catch phrase and her voice caught in her throat momentarily. If only it would prove to be accurate… “Oh, Abe… yes… yes, we said that…. Oh, Abe….I hope it’s true… I really hope it’s true… Listen… I’m at the airport now, I’ll call you when I get there… “



“Alright.. please keep me posted…. You know I love him too.. “



“I know you do… and it was you who helped me keep believing that he wouldn’t have just walked away from us, no matter how badly he was hurting about what happened.”



Speaking very carefully, Abe attempted to help her view the situation from his friend’s perspective, and the same time, not making it appear as though he condoned the man’s behavior. “Marlena… for what it’s worth… John was guilt ridden…. And he finally admitted to me… that he was really struggling with the mercenary persona… since even before the trip to Paris… he was having upsetting memory flashes…about his time with Dimera. And when he went to Stefano for help.. he wasn’t in control… not completely… and he was just.. SO.. scared he was going to lose you…I think it clouded his judgement. John wasn’t making excuses, Marlena… he was just trying to understand it, for himself.”



Pulling the car to a stop, she sighed wearily… there would be time for all of that later… ” I know… thank you for telling me that, Abe… I appreciate it, I really do.. but I can’t think about that part of it at the moment, I have to focus on getting him what he needs to heal from… ” Marlena stopped speaking as her imagination went well beyond the gruesome nature of what she’d witnessed at Maison Blanche, before she could finish her thought. She managed to blurt out the end of the sentence before breaking into sobs again, “oh..from…whatever Stefano did to him this time!”



“Okay.. just trust in your love, Marlena…. and somehow….. you and John will get through this…”



Shutting the emotion back down for a moment she replied evenly, “Okay…. I’ll call you soon…. goodbye…”



For now, she had to concentrate on trying to help John recover from the trauma, if that were even possible. The fact that it had been almost a month since he’d turned up in the forests of Washington State with virtually no expressed memory of his experiences, and very little meaningful interaction with external reality, was a very bad sign. She pondered the question as she boarded their private jet, Had John Black finally reached the limits of his ability to recover from brain trauma? Was he forever lost in the recesses of his wounded psyche? “Oh, dear Lord… whether John and I are ever together again as husband and wife is of little importance right now… please… help me reach him… Whether what he did is right or wrong.. I don’t… want…to see him suffer… so please, if it’s in your will… help me save him… if only for little Belle and for Brady…. They miss their Daddy so much!”



Safely on the plane, alone with her thoughts, she let go the flood of tears and wept for an indeterminate period, immersed in fear and anger and frustration. If only he had been honest with her, if only he could have trusted that she could handle the memories of his life as a mercenary and Stefano’s confidante, none of this would be happening. Instead, John had let his fear of losing her love rule his heart. It might be the worst mistake of his life because it had led to his being taken prisoner once again, subject to unspeakable physical torture and the merciless ravaging of his mind, at a time when he was extremely vulnerable from an emotional standpoint.



Wanting to be thorough and struggling to accept the reality of her situation, Marlena pulled out the hard copy she’d made of the document from Seattle… and again her eyes were drawn to the haunting image captured on paper. Tears sprang to her eyes… “Oh, John…no matter how you’ve hurt me… and this family… I hope you know that I would never leave you alone to deal with what that Bastard has done to you… Hang on, honey… I’m on my way…. Be strong, baby…be strong!”



‘Oh, John… I wish… how I wish you could have trusted in our love…. In my love for you…. I would have forgiven you…Why did you think you had to lie to me? ‘ In her mind, there wouldn’t have been anything to forgive at the point at which he began to regain the memories. John wasn’t responsible for what transpired on the submarine, and neither was Hope. However, hiding the truth, lying when she asked him directly what was bothering him, and worst of all, going to Stefano for help in ensuring Hope’s memory did not return was inexorably wrong. Those were offenses of the worst kind. He had betrayed everything they said to each other on their wedding day, everything that he ever espoused to be right and true as Salem’s hero in residence. Worst of all, seeking out Stefano and asking him to use his brand of mind control to stop Hope from recalling the incident was a brutal slap in the face to everyone he was supposed to love and a denial of everything they’d ever fought against. That would be the toughest hurdle, one that might never be cleared.



As she began to regain control over her emotions, it dawned on her how her husband might have drawn his misguided conclusion. Some of the articles she’d brought with her reminded her of a core issue for amnesia victims, the fear of abandonment. She began to realize that in his heart of hearts John was profoundly insecure and always had been… though he kept it very well hidden most of the time. Someone who felt confident and secure would not have found it necessary to hide all of those memories about Gina, or his life of crime at Stefano’s side, none of it. If he were in essence the man his dauntless exterior portrayed him to be, John would have told her, trusting in the love that had endured so many previous obstacles. He could not do so, because at the very center of his being, he did not believe himself worthy of her love; and therefore, he believed that if she learned the truth, his wife would leave him. That deep seeded insecurity was what led him to go to the man who had been his cruel task master for a favor. No doubt Stefano used that fear of being rejected and abandoned to bring him to his knees, putting John at his mercy.



Believing that was the case didn’t make it right, but it made her husband’s actions somewhat easier to understand and for her to extend empathy. ‘John…you were so wrong…. I wouldn’t have left you….why didn’t you know that, honey?’ All these years… he seemed so proud and courageous on the outside… almost larger than life….but deep inside he was afraid….desperately afraid to be alone. That was why he hadn’t ever allowed himself to spend any length of time without a woman in his life. He was in some ways the very opposite of what he projected himself to be.



Next came the sense of self blame that laid in wait…. Somehow, she should have known it… should have seen it… and most of all, she should have pushed him a little harder for the truth. Marlena wondered why she hadn’t…as the tears of regret began to form anew behind her anguished hazel eyes. ‘It’s because you knew, Marlena… deep in your heart you knew… and you have ever since Gina was in the office with you. You didn’t push him to tell you, because you couldn’t face it…. You wanted to be wrong about it…and you wanted him to be okay… so you didn’t make him face what was happening inside his mind… You let him charm you out of confronting the disturbing memories…when you *knew* his past with Stefano had gained a hold on him again.’



Standing up, roaming the lonely cabin, she questioned her motives out loud, wishing they’d both made different choices, even before they walked down the aisle toward their married future. Thinking back to that night when he almost plunged unwittingly to his death and then to the violent flashback he’d had only days before the wedding, her moist eyes fell upon the picture of John Doe from Seattle… and she cried out disconsolately, “Oh Why! Why did you let him do that, Marlena? You could have helped him then….and now… there might be no…. going back…. It might be too late…”

Jeffrey Purdue, MD strode purposefully down the hallway toward the locked unit that housed his newest patient, John Doe. He’d reviewed the videotapes of every session, however brief, read the complete medical record and spent hours contemplating what he might do to draw the injured man out of his shell. So far, all his efforts had gone for naught. John wasn’t very communicative and the man was still painfully thin and wouldn’t eat… acting as though the food itself was poison. Why would he be afraid to eat? What could be a more basic need than the one for food and drink? And what could make the man so full of terrified rage…. Just what had been done to him…. it was clear that he’d been savagely abused and it wasn’t a crime of angry passion. No, his John Doe patient had been subjected to prolonged goal directed torture….and it made Jeff sick to his stomach to look at the still healing physical wounds inflicted on the man’s body by some sadistically evil captor.



Upon entering the unit, his hopes for making some progress this particular day were immediately dashed and he sighed wearily at the state of affairs. John was brandishing a butter knife and holding off five staff members, who were slowly advancing toward him in a planned take down. They were becoming quite proficient at it… John was teaching them to perfect their tactics. The man had superhuman strength at times, fueled by the powerful fury of adrenaline surging through his body.



“John… come on now…. you know that no one here wants to hurt you…. Put the knife down, John… ” said one of five burly men, who were trying to calm him down. It was so exasperating to go through this routine on a regular basis.



Waving the knife around, he set his feet and denied the request, “No… no…I won’t let you put me back in there… I swear I won’t!”



“John…. you’ve been threatening all morning… and now you’ve got a knife…. You’re not giving us a choice here…. we can’t let you hurt anyone or yourself… “



Inside his head, he heard that booming angry voice again… ‘You must kill them, soldier… they are the enemy, John… kill the enemy… at any cost… “



“Kill…. Must kill the enemy… ” he repeated, prepared to fight to the death, as ordered.



“No, John… we’re not your enemies… ” said Jeffrey, edging slightly closer to his patient, hoping to convince the man of that very fact. “We want to help you, John… we just can’t let you hurt anyone, including yourself.”



John wasn’t attending to external stimuli at this point, that internal experience was overpowering and he was compelled to obey the commands echoing inside his mind. He lunged forward and one of the men behind him took advantage of the moment to get a two arm hold on him, one around his torso, the other trapping his neck tightly to his opponent’s upper chest. John struggled vainly as two more advanced toward his sides.. he tried to kick at the shins of the one who had him around the chest, to make him lose his hold. But just as he made his move… the three closest staff members took him down to the ground in one swift well coordinated action. Stunned and out of breath, he couldn’t move immediately. Within seconds there was a man at his head, holding it tightly to the floor facing the ceiling, and one on each of his four limbs. He fought with all his strength, which in his current weakened condition wasn’t nearly enough to challenge them, once they had him on the ground.



Thrashing against the crushing weight, he tried to cry out, but the angry condemning voice inside stopped him. “You failed me, John… you failed me again…. you’re worthless! You’ve forgotten all of your training soldier…” Soon he was muttering a defeated response, “Oh… I failed him… I failed him.. I failed again… I failed… ” he repeated it over and over again.



Lost in rumination, his muscles finally went limp and they carried him easily to the bed in the room used for patients in seclusion. However, as they went to put him in four point restraints, his body was once again fueled by strong chemicals meant to empower a man to fight or run. John wriggled and strained against the muscle power of five men, his fear intensifying as he saw the leather straps that would keep him immobile in the spread eagle position…



It was terrifying for any patient, but for John it was infinitely worse… and he didn’t understand why, “No, NO!! NO!!” he screamed and made a last ditch effort to break away, his head whipping violently back and forth. He tried to bite his captors’ hands and arms, anything to avoid being tied down again. The anxiety was so intense, his heart felt as though it might burst inside his chest walls it was pounding so powerfully, and his head throbbed with pain.



They wouldn’t speak… wouldn’t respond to his cries of protest… only proceeded to place him on his back on the stripped down bed, and lock down and tighten the restraining belts around his four extremities and his mid-section as well. Each of the five staff members breathed a sigh of relief as they stepped away from the writhing wild man. They’d been trying so hard to make him feel safe, but nothing worked. Meal times were always an ordeal for him, and they had no idea why. So far, everything about John Doe was a mystery.



John stared out at them through angry eyes… moisture beginning to fill them… wounded, fearful, and yet raging…. To be restrained this way was more than he could take, more than his horribly injured mind was able to comprehend. John screamed in terror, “AHHH AHHH!!”



Jeff patiently waited until he stopped yelling… sitting down on the floor nearby. When the man seemed to settle slightly, he spoke quietly, admonishing his patient, “John…. you know that we can’t let you threaten people… or try to attack them… we won’t tolerate that kind of behavior. John, we only want to help you.. but you have to let us… And right now… you’re too upset to talk… so I’m going to give you some medicine that will calm you down and help you get some rest. I know that you’re still not sleeping very well.”



He didn’t understand. It was always the same…. the angry commanding voices inside his head wouldn’t leave him alone…he got scared or mad, or both… and then a bunch of strong people grabbed him and tied him down. Then there was a needle. There was always a needle and syringe… long and large… filled with something that made him so confused, took control of his mind. With moist begging eyes, he pleaded for it just this once to be different, “Please…don’t… no more…shots.. please!”



“I’m sorry, John… this is for your benefit…please try to believe that… ” the physician replied flatly, drawing back the plunger of the syringe.



Sounding slightly distant, as if immersed in another world, John spoke to him about his experience, “He drugs me too…. They always drug me… it burns… it burns inside my brain…and I get all.. mixed up….please don’t….send me… back there… I’ll be good… I promise… I’ll try real hard… to be good! I won’t listen to them anymore…”



It was the first time John had actually told him anything about what had happened to leave him in such a confused state. Hoping to take advantage of the moment, Jeff wasted no time in probing further, “Who drugs you, John… tell me… who did this to you?” he asked, leaning in closer so that their eyes met, hoping John could sense his sincerity and genuine compassion.



Now he was resigned, remembering that whenever he thought he was safe, the man came after him. “The Phoenix… he’s the one…. he’ll find out where I am.. and he’ll come for me at night… when nobody’s watching… that’s when he’ll come for me… I know he will…”



“The Phoenix… who is that.. what’s his name, John?”



The other angry voice was giving the orders now, ‘No, you can’t tell them, John…. he is your creator… you can’t tell them…. “It’s….” John started to talk to him and then suddenly he stopped, crying out, all the muscles of his face taut with pain. “Can’t… I can’t tell.. not allowed to tell…”



“John… …. tell me about the voices… what do they tell you to do, John ?”



“They’re… angry… I failed… “



“What… who did you fail, John.”



“The creator… I failed the creator….”



“So, now he knew… his patient wasn’t just suffering from amnesia or post traumatic stress… it was a psychotic break of some sort. John was delusional… or was he? Obviously the man had been drugged and tortured.. maybe what he was saying was some version of the truth as he experienced it… “John… who is the creator… is he the same as the Phoenix?”



There were signs of a furious internal struggle, as if the man were waging war inside his head… his words coming out in spurts, “Yes…. they’re the same… he tells me what to do… I… try to… fight it… but I… can’t… he drugs me… and I…I… can’t fight….anymore… even if….I want to… can’t fight…”



“Do you want my help, John… will you let me help you? They tell me I’m a pretty good doc.. you know.”



His patient’s eyes went open wide at that comment… “Doc.. Doc, is she here… Is Doc here?” He was increasingly anxious, struggling against the restraints with renewed vigor, his eyes darting back and forth as if he were searching for someone.



“Doc… who is Doc, John… “



The other bellowing voice came back, the one who controlled his life, cruelly reminding him of his lonely fate. ‘No, John…. you will NEVER see your precious Doc.. again… you’ve lost her forever… remember? You betrayed her, John…. you betrayed your love and now you’re all alone… she doesn’t want you…. The Brady’s rejected you… I am all you have… and you best learn to appreciate me… ‘ Then the thick hand came down…. SMACK!! SMACK… SMACK!! Over and over he saw the back of that fat hand and the large black ring it bore just before it impacted with great force upon his already battered face… exposed and vulnerable as he was, no defense possible.



He cowered slightly, as if anticipating a vicious blow, “Don’t hit me again… please…. “



Knowing his patient had been transported into a previous experience, Jeffrey spoke softly, hoping he could answer, “John… what… why does he hit you?”



The voice was quieter now, as if the owner had lost all hope, “I’ve lost her… she doesn’t want me now…..can’t talk about her… not allowed…. he hits me when I…..say her name….can’t…say her…. name.”



“Were you in love, John….. Is Doc the woman that you love?”



His tortured blue eyes suddenly filled with tears…. And he nodded almost imperceptibly but said nothing, apparently overwhelmed by emotion. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”



He shut his eyes… fought the think dark fog… what was it… ‘No, John… I’m the one in charge here… I control us now…. the John Black who loved her is gone… face it… he’s gone and he’s never coming back! I am in charge now!’



“John… I can see that it upsets you…. And I don’t want to push….” Jeff said tentatively, hoping the man would open up with him this one time.



His patient’s breathing became rapid and shallow, his eyes restless, his head shaking to indicate his unwillingness to do that very thing, as if he were fighting some unseen forces. Then there was a fierce expression in his blue eyes, a coldness the doctor hadn’t yet seen up close. Even the voice was different… deeper, stronger, more forceful….. “No, no….. I don’t need love… I don’t need….anything or anybody.. especially not YOU!”



Realizing that the moment was lost, Jeffrey shoved the shot home… cognizant that this most recent exchange was the most productive, most informative of the dozens of contacts he’d had with his patient thus far. John Doe’s eyes went wide open with angry surprise… “DAMN YOU!!” he shouted.



After a few tense moments in which the man shot bullets with his raging eyes, Jeffrey watched until the ragged breathing subsided and his patient nodded off to sleep at last. ‘So, John Doe…. You were held prisoner by some sadistic monster who drugged you, beat you unmercifully, and tried to make you forget the woman you loved. But why? And now.. because of what he’s done to you… your wounded mind has fractured itself off into different personality constructs. Oh, how can I help you, John…. I pray that Doctor Evans can be of some assistance…’



Satisfied that his patient was resting comfortably, the young doctor exited the seclusion room, spoke briefly with his staff, and headed out of the unit and toward his office to dictate a note on the informal session with his mystifying patient. As he prepared to unlock his office door, the overhead paging system announced his name, alerting him to the return call he’d been waiting for, “Dr. Purdue, there’s a call on line one…. Doctor Marlena Evans on line one for Dr. Purdue…”

 

Stefano Dimera was not one for pacing, but it had been a very long wait for some kind of news and his patience was wearing thin. As he stood up to gaze out the picture window overlooking the forest behind his Canadian compound, finally, the telephone was ringing. He snatched it off the desk to hear one of his minions say, “Hey boss…”



“Bart… you better be calling to tell me that you’ve found him!”



“Yes, sir! You won’t believe this… but he’s in a nut house in Seattle, Washington. West Seattle Psychiatric something…..real low security…. we can take him any time we want to, Stefano..”



“For now… I want you to watch him, and find out if he’s remembered anything.”



“I’ve got all the reports on him… I had one of your computer geeks hack into their system, I’ve got every piece of paper they’re keeping on him. And get this…. Doctor Evans knows about him… and she’s on her way there as we speak.”



“How… “



“There’s this young shrink… Purdue… seems his John Doe patient is so messed up in the head, he had to call in the experts, so he put in a call to the lady shrink in Salem town.”



“Bart…. I want you to listen to me very carefully…. you go out there and you watch every move they make….and you report to me what you see. Have you got that?”



“Yes sir, Mr. Dimera sir! I’m sending some of the documents by fax and the full set of hard copies is being brought to you on one of your jets Sir!



“Good work, Bart…”



Stefano sighed with mixed emotions as he reviewed the materials that were coming across the fax machine. So, he’s having a little trouble sorting out the personalities… this could work to my advantage. Rolf… I want you to read this…. he said, turning to his mad scientist… I want your opinions….”



Five minutes later, Rolf was offering a preliminary assessment, “Well, Stefano…. it appears that our subject is having a great deal of difficulty making sense out his experiences. The fact that he hasn’t been communicating is a good sign for us…. he probably doesn’t remember what we did to him recently or in the past… and even if he does remember, he won’t be able to make any sense of it in his current mental and emotional state. I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”



“But can he be brought back? Will he recover?”



“That I cannot say…. it’s quite clear that the trauma to his body and his mind was significant… and since we did not finish the process of brainwashing, he is at risk for continued psychological problems… …. hallucinations, severe headaches, violent outbursts.. multiple personality… And there is no telling what the long term effects of the drugs are… they were experimental Stefano…”



Stefano erupted with anger, “I WANT my mercenary restored! I have some important work for him to do…. Rolf, I want you to go to Seattle…. Find out everything you can about his condition and report back to me. When the time is right, we’ll take him again.. but it has to look like an escape attempt by a deranged mental patient….His disappearance cannot be linked to me in any way. Do you understand me?



“Yes, Stefano… we’ll get him back for you.”



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



It seemed like an eternity before the plane landed in Seattle, and then there was such a miserably long wait until she saw the cab driving up to the front entrance of the psychiatric facility which currently housed her husband. ‘Oh, John… I pray that I can help you… that I can find a way to bring back the man that I… love…d.’



A tall, handsome, blond haired, blue eyed young man welcomed her at the door, “Hello, Doctor Evans…. come right in…. ” he said, taking her hand to guide her through the door.



She smiled, “Hello… thank you for meeting me, Dr. Purdue…. and please call me Marlena.”



“Marlena it is…. and you can call me Jeff…. I’ve admired your work for years, Marlena… perhaps when….. when this is… “



“I know…. you’re not certain what to say, I understand. His case is severe. I’ll do whatever I can to help you… but first there is something we need to discuss.”



“Oh… and what’s that?” he asked, her expression making him very curious.



“Your patient… it’s highly likely that he’s…. Oh, I don’t know even know where to begin…”



“Likely that he’ll never recover… I know…. and I feel so bad about it..”



Hearing him say it out loud made her own worries seem all the more real. “No, Jeff…. what I was going to say is…. I think that your John Doe patient might very well be my… husband.”



His eyes went wide with disbelief, his jaw dropped open, and his head was shaking almost imperceptibly, but he said nothing.



“Yes…. it’s true…. My husband has been missing for three months…. I thought he’d left me… but now I believe I know what happened.”



“I think we should…. go to my…. office.”



“Yes… it’s quite a long story…. please lead the way..”



The young doctor said nothing on the way to his corner office, remaining silent after he’d unlocked the door and stepped inside to plop unceremoniously in the leather chair behind his desk. His eyes asked her to tell the story, even if he was still too shocked to make the request verbally.



He listened as she recounted the abbreviated version of what had happened to her husband over the years. It was shocking to say the least and the young psychiatrist had no idea what to say in response. Finally, after long moments of contemplative silence, he found some words, “My God… it’s remarkable that he was able to retain any level of sanity…. “



“Yes… and now… that Bastard has done it again…. Tell me, Jeff… how bad is he?” Marlena asked, afraid of the answer her colleague would give, yet needing to know what she was facing.



After a sigh, he told her the essentials, beyond the written word, “Marlena… I’ve seen evidence of at least two distinct personalities…. one is the man who was hurt…. your John, I believe…. he’s… badly wounded, physically and emotionally…. he’s withdrawn…. confused…. fearful of so many things…. but he’s fighting to survive… and the other is… cold and hard… angry….. he strikes me as a military commando… a real Rambo type… I think he could kill without remorse…”



She nodded, having expected that much… “You said at least two… what about a third?”



“Well, like I said, he hasn’t been very communicative…. and there are these moments when he seems…. I don’t know… almost childlike…. he curls up in a ball and pulls the covers up over his body… I haven’t been able to get too close to him…. but I think… Oh, I don’t know…”



“You think that one of the personalities is a child?”



“I suspect it… but he hides it… I think it happens at night…. he’s very much afraid of the dark…”



She nodded, and explained it, “That makes sense…. Stefano favors dark dungeons…”



“Oh…. I’m sorry…. I can only imagine what you’ve both been through..” Something else along those lines occurred to the thirty something doctor, who sat up straighter in the chair and asked about it, “Oh…I almost forgot… why would meal times be so difficult… he won’t eat…. acts almost like we’re poisoning the food… Even if we sit down with him… he hardly touches it… “



She couldn’t hold back the tears any longer…. remembering Maison Blanche…. and conversations they’d had since. “That’s because…. Stefano… he uh…he drugs the food…” she said in between sobs.



Reaching across the desk to take her hand, Jeff Purdue empathized with her situation, “I’m so sorry…This must be horrible for you…but it makes so much sense… I should have figured that one out. No wonder he’s terrified…. He probably doesn’t even consciously remember it… but the fear is there…. I feel so bad….. Marlena we’ve had to restrain him countless times….. most of them at meal time…”



Wiping her tears, she let him off the hook, “It’s alright… you couldn’t have known….”



“No, I guess not… well, would you like to go see him now?” Jeff asked her, standing up, prepared to take her to the locked unit.



She nodded and gave a one word answer, striving to contain her nearly overpowering fear for the sanity of the man she still loved, despite the problems they’d had, “Yes….”



Marlena was unprepared for what she saw once she entered the ward. These were very sick people…. She swallowed hard as Dr. Jeffrey Purdue led her to the seclusion room which currently housed his John Doe patient.



John was strapped down and thrashing almost like a wild animal, having had another outburst of extreme agitation during which he became threatening and had to be restrained. ‘Oh, John…. what he must have done to you this time… he knew you were at your lowest point…. He knew that… and he waited… and then he took you away and he…tried to destroy your mind….’



After taking a deep breath and letting it out, she called attention to her presence, speaking very softly, “John…it’s Marlena…. I’m here now… I’m here and I want to help you.” There was no response.



On instinct, Jeff repeated something his patient had said a day earlier, “John… Doc is here… do you want to see her?



The patient turned his head toward her, his formerly blank stare fixed only on her… “Doc…” Suddenly, he seemed to be in pain, the muscles of his face contorted, his head whipping violently back and forth. “No…no…”



“Yes…it’s Doc… I’m here for you….”



John stopped thrashing and replied, denying the reality, ostensibly believing it couldn’t be true….”No…it can’t be real… it’s just a dream….. she doesn’t want me anymore… I always hurt her….”



He sounded so forlorn…..”No, John…. it’s okay…. we’re going to work things out… but we have to focus on getting you well again, honey…”



Suddenly, he was gone, his face transforming right before her eyes. He looked younger, more innocent, yet wise to the world, and deeply wounded.



“Sick…. Johnny is sick…isn’t he?” the man in the bed asked with the innocence of a child.



So, there *was* another personality… ‘Oh God, John! ‘ This one was a little boy… It took every bit of professional skill she possessed not to respond as a worried wife, “Yes…. yes… Johnny is… sick, and he needs… medicine and rest, and someone to talk to when it gets scary…”



He sounded distant, his voice as detached as his manner of speaking, “Yea…. it’s real scary here…. they tie Johnny down…. Sometimes Johnny is a bad boy… and they lock him up… they put him all alone in real quiet place…and he gets scared… he tries to be… brave… but it’s dark at night… and that’s when.. the shadows dance and the mean man comes…. The mean man always comes at night…and he takes me away….Can you make the mean man go away… he’s always yelling at me… and he…hits me… he hits me with lots of hard things…. I try not to…..scream…but it… hurts… It hurts so much… “



‘Oh, God…..John…. I’m so sorry…’ She forced back tears… and bit her tongue to stop from crying out on his behalf…. ‘Stay focused Marlena… you can’t help him if you’re hysterical.’ Taking a deep breath and then letting it out slowly, she made a request. “Johnny… you’re a very nice boy… and I’m going to help you… we’re going to do everything we can to make the mean man go away…but in order to do that, I need to talk to John…. John Black… the man that I love.. can I please talk to him?”



The patient shook his head, his face indicating that might not work, “He’s hurt real bad…..I don’t know if he can…. the others might not… let him come out.”



The others… Oh my God! How many more could there be… She bit her lip again, struggling to be the physician she was trained to be, her voice quivering, “Johnny, I need you to.. help him…. I can tell.. that you care about him…. you have to tell the others to let him come out… can you please do that for me?”



The nod of his head was nearly imperceptible, but it was a start. His eyelids fluttered briefly and his face changed…. becoming less childlike…..more like a man…but when he looked at her he seemed confused… “Doc… is that you?”



“John.. ” she said in a whisper, “Oh, yes.. honey…. It’s me….I love you,… I still love you… and I want to help.”



“Who’s John?” he asked, looking thoroughly bewildered.



He’d taken her off guard, “Oh… what do you mean…”



“I mean… I’m Roman Brady and you’re my wife… Who is this John guy you’re talking about ?”



Keeping the shock from her face was almost impossible, but she was able to respond verbally, her voice shaky with mixed emotions.. this was better than the child or the mercenary man… “Roman… Oh, my gosh… I was… I was so worried about you…”



“Well, I’m fine.. just a little bump on the head… ” he said, looking bewildered, not fully aware of his surroundings.



Realizing that time was of the essence, she wasted none, risking that it would be alright to confront him, “Roman…..I’m really glad to see you… but I need to talk to John… and I know he’s there…inside of you…”



The man on the bed began to thrash again, rapidly becoming wildly agitated…. “No…he’s not here… John is gone… and he’s never coming back!”



She placed her hands on his shoulders and spoke forcefully, but compassionately, hoping to reach inside to the man she loved, the man she’d married just over a year ago. “I don’t believe you… John…listen to me…. I know that you’ve been hurt…terribly. Stefano did some awful things to you…. and your mind… it wants to… protect you from all of that pain and suffering… but the only way to truly heal… is to come back. Come back, John… come back to me now!”



He shut his eyes tight, then opened them after a long wait… struggling to reply…”Marlena.. is that really you?”



She sat back in the chair next to the bed, happy to see a hint of the man she loved, “Yes, baby… it’s really me,” she said, leaning toward him, taking a hand in hers.



Instantly, there was a pool of moisture forming behind his pale blue eyes, “Oh, Doc…I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for….hurting you….”



“It’s alright… we’ll deal with that later…. Until then… we have… a lot of work to do.”



He was confused, his mind cloudy with a jumble of hazy memories, his body still aching with residual physical pain. “Work? What kind of work?” he asked, suddenly aware of being held in restraints…. “Doc…. why am I here… like this?” he asked, frightened of what it might mean.



“Oh… baby…. You’re.. sick, honey… ” she answered, caressing his whiskered cheeks, contemplating how she would make him understand what was happening to his mind.



His face fell and the tears began to drop from his defeated eyes, “In my.. head…. You mean… sick in my head, don’t you?”



Reluctantly she nodded and told him the truth, her own tears falling anew, “Yes…. sweety… Stefano.. he… took you away… he… hurt you…. he did terrible things to your body and your mind. And now, we have to….try to undo that damage. It might take awhile, honey…. but we can do it. You’re going to be alright, John.”



Unexpectedly, he closed his eyes again… and for several long moments there was an eerie silence. When he opened them again, they were a cold steely blue and she knew he was not the man she loved. He swiftly became angry, even raging. His tone filled with disdain, the man on the bed laughed harshly, mocking her…. and then said, “Nice try, DOC! But, that won’t ever happen again… John is dead.. he’s not coming back…”



“Why..”



There was no trace of the John Black she knew. This man was SO different and it was clear that he loathed the very characteristics she loved… “Because he’s weak! He’s soft…. and he lets women rule his life.. and worst of all he’s a fool!…I’m the one you’ll have to deal with from here on out. I run this joint.”



“And who are you?” she said, afraid to ask.



“I’m Soldier Black…”



She shook her head firmly, telling him she would not accept defeat so easily, for she too was accustomed to doing battle with opposing forces. “No… I won’t accept that because I know he’s still there inside of you… and I’m going to reach him again… you can’t stop this, because the love that John and I share is more powerful than the hate Stefano used to create his mercenary. John and I will be together, sooner or later. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, because I won’t give up the fight, soldier Black… now, let me talk to John!” she demanded.



“No, bitch! I told you…. he’s not coming back to you, not now and not EVER!”



She softened, realizing a confrontation wasn’t going to be effective… “Alright then….let me talk to Johnny… is he there?”



He smiled, almost benignly, “Yea… he’s just a scared little kid though, can’t tell you much… he had it rough like me… “



“He did?” She’d wondered about John’s early years… after he’d been removed from the Alamain homeland. They never did learn much about that time in his life. Now, she was worried about what he suffered, even then…. Was what happened during those formative years the true source of his dissociative disorder, or just part of the complicated picture that was the history of John Black, which had contributed to this recent fracturing of personalities?



“Yea…it’s an old story… abuse… neglect.”



“Johnny…Johnny.. are you there? Talk to me, Johnny….”



There was no response. John’s body was rigid, his eyes fading, becoming dull and lifeless. He bordered on catatonia. Placing her hands upon his cheeks, she spoke to him, willing some part of his confused and tortured mind to hear her words of encouragement and absorb her confidence, even as she wept with fear. “Oh, John…. my sweet loving husband…. I’m going to fight for you…. Despite everything that’s happened between us, I still.. love you… and I won’t give up on you… just like you wouldn’t give up when the devil had me in his evil clutches. We’re going to win this fight, too John… because our love is stronger than Stefano’s hatred.”



She screamed at the monster in the privacy of her own mind, ‘Do you hear me Stefano Dimera… we’re going to beat you! Our love is going to win!’

It had been an exhausting first day. Seeing John held down in restraints, learning that his mind had been fractured off into at least four distinct personalities, the strongest of which was the one that least resembled the man she loved, was extremely difficult to handle.



She and the other physician had talked about it for a long while afterward. It was a complicated situation at best, and Marlena wondered if she were skilled enough to help him. Professionally, she knew that she shouldn’t be the one to try, but personally, she knew she was the only one who could ever reach inside the wounded soul and connect with the John Black she knew.



Marlena made her way down to the chapel after eating some dinner in the cafeteria, hoping that she could find some peace and guidance through prayer. Before she stepped inside, she reached into the zippered pocket of her purse to retrieve a precious momento. ‘Oh, John… I want you back… whole and healthy…’ she said while gazing at the photograph she’d brought along, knowing she would need an image to hold on to when times were tough, and he was nowhere in view.



Looking toward the altar, preparing to kneel down before the Lord, she cried out for help, “Please, God…. help me… just like you helped John when the devil held me hostage… help me fight this mercenary.. so that I can give John what he needs.. so that he can find peace and healing, as I did then.” Remembering the hostile angry face of the mercenary persona and fearing the worst, she buried her head in her hands and wept…



Not aware of the passage of time, at some point, she felt a gentle pair of hands land upon her shoulders and then a quiet voice spoke to her. “Marlena… I heard you crying…. and I just… well, I wanted to tell you that… I’m sorry… I’m really sorry we couldn’t do more for him when he first came into the hospital.”



After recovering from her startle response, she wiped away the remaining moisture from her face, then rose from her kneeling position and turned to face her new friend. Hoping to ease his guilt, she said quietly, “It’s not your fault, Jeff… you had no idea what was wrong, or what might have happened to him.. and he… he couldn’t tell you…. it’s really not your fault that he hasn’t made more progress.” As she continued, her own rage flared, “No, the blame for John’s state of mind can be placed squarely on Stefano Dimera’s shoulders. He is responsible for it and some day… he’s going to pay for what he’s done to the man I love… ” she said, clenching a fist in an effort to contain her fury.



Jeff nodded, understanding her anger….but thought to quickly change the subject, “I hope so… I uh… I thought you might like to know that John is sleeping now… whatever that was earlier… it seems like he’s come out of it.. at least partially. He’s still not talking, but this afternoon was pretty…”



She spoke up when he paused, to let him know she realized what her time with John had cost him… “It’s okay… you can say it….. my visit was overwhelming for him. I pushed for far too much too soon… and I regret it…” she added, tears filling her eyes.



“I wasn’t going to say that… but you could be right… he did seem to need to withdraw afterward…”



“After my confrontation… my demands, you mean….. Oh, Jeff… I don’t know what to do… I know I can’t be objective in treating him, but I don’t think anyone else can reach him… “



“From a professional perspective, having you work with him goes against my better judgement, but on a purely emotional basis, I tend to agree with you. I do think we need to come up with some… boundaries though.”



It was agonizing. How could she be objective enough to give him what he needed… she was so frightened for his sanity… “I don’t know how, Jeff… I love him so much….. even more than my own life… and I don’t know if I can give him the detachment he might need some times… the safety of the therapist’s office, where he can say anything… without fear of upsetting me… or hurting me… or damaging his chances with me as my husband… “



He nodded, having realized that from the moment he saw her face in response to seeing John in restraints… “Well, then I guess we have to keep working together…. I’ll give him that… I hope he can still engage with me… while you’re here… We’ll just have to gauge it day by day… how’s that sound?”



She nodded, fighting off another round of fearful tears, “Good…. thank you so much…you’ve been so… good to him. A lot of doctors would have just given up and medicated him to control his agitation…”



“I could tell there was more to it… that he’d been severely traumatized and if we could just find a way to help him face and begin to deal with that, we could see some significant progress. Marlena, I still I believe I was right.”





Their conversation was interrupted when one of the nurses on John’s unit disturbed them. “Dr. Purdue… I’m sorry to break in on your conversation.. but I knew you would want to be informed… our John Doe…. he’s… been in a…terrible fight… “



A fight… why didn’t you page me?” Jeff asked, frustrated to have missed the opportunity to observe him and assist in managing the situation.



“It was over so quickly…. we called you as soon as we could….”



“What happened?” asked the doctor, wondering why no further information had been provided as yet. The woman’s hesitance was not a good sign and he began to fear the worst.



“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Marlena asked, seeing from the woman’s expression that it wasn’t a simple fist fight she was talking about.



The large dark haired nurse nodded and replied with a voice that trembled with untold emotion, “Yes…. a man was killed.”



Marlena’s hands went instinctively to cover her mouth, “Oh my God!” she exclaimed in utter disbelief.



“I’m sorry…. but John killed another patient… I don’t think it was intentional… but he was so agitated, it took six of the biggest men we have on staff to get him down afterward. We happened to be having a unit meeting and some of the men stopped by before going off duty. We were lucky they were there or we’d still be struggling with him.”



Thinking of procedure, Jeff asked the next logical question, “Have the police been called?”



“Yes… they’re on the way here right now… “



Marlena felt as if her knees were going out from under her, her world continuing to crumble with each new development. “Oh, my God… no, John.. no… ” she said, glad for the support of the male doctor on one side, the nurse on the other, holding her upright.



Feeling bad for the woman’s pain, the nurse did the best she could to help her realize that the man himself wasn’t responsible for what happened. “I think it was the soldier personality… he kept saying something about the Phoenix… that he was sorry but it was the only way out…”



“What did the other man look like?” Marlena asked with sudden clarity of thought, instantly guessing what had taken place.



“He’s of Eastern European decent… dark hair and dark eyes… about 60…. he and John haven’t been on good terms from the day John came here… but something he said or did tonight really set John off… The man was dead in maybe… twenty seconds time… “



Panic threatened to take control… her voice trembling as she asked a question no one could yet answer, “Oh, God.. Jeff… what’s.. what’s going to happen to him now?”



He touched her on the arm and looked her in the eye, speaking firmly to capture her complete attention, “Marlena… we have to take this one step at a time… please try to calm down.. he needs you to be strong… “



In spite of the nearly crippling fear and the tears that followed, she nodded and managed to control her emotions. “You’re right… Oh, Jeff… I wish you could know him the way I know him… he would never do something like this… That patient… he must have… reminded John of Stefano… and all the pain he’s inflicted… Oh, this is just… so horrible! “



Jeff nodded, his mind scrambling for a way to help… “Yes, it is… Marlena…but let’s go see him before the police get here… he’s going to need you… more than ever.”



“Of course we should… thank you… ” she said, glad for his clear headed thinking.



“Marlena… it’s not John’s fault.. you know that… he’s been seriously wounded… physically and emotionally… and the authorities will take that into consideration. They may not even press charges… “



She verged on hysteria on his behalf… In his current state, if he were to be locked in a tiny jail cell… left alone for hours at a time…



“Oh, Jeff… I’m so worried about this… he was.. wrongfully convicted a few years ago and he spent a lot of time in jail… in fear of being put to death… this could… Oh, it could… drive him further into madness… “





Placing both hands squarely on her suddenly vulnerable shoulders, he urged her to stay strong, “Don’t focus on what you can’t control, Marlena… be the psychiatrist… think of what he needs from us right now…”



Struggling to maintain her composure, she replied with her clinical judgement, “He needs to feel safe… and he needs… firm support and direction… “



Pleased to see she could detach when necessary, he suggested the next step, “Yes… let’s give him that… ” Releasing a long sigh, she nodded tightly and followed him as he rushed down the lonely corridor toward the unit which housed the man she loved.



Upon arriving at the unit, they said nothing to the staff, making eye contact as a method of communicating their concern and plan of action. They entered the seclusion room quietly and then Marlena spoke his name softly, “John… honey… it’s me…”



His head faced the far wall so she couldn’t see his face. “Go away… go away before someone else gets hurt.. please….” a worried voice warned them; it wasn’t John and it wasn’t the child, nor Roman… Could it be that the mercenary felt guilt?



“It’s okay… no one is going to get hurt… ” Jeff offered. ” We know it wasn’t your fault, John.”



“You don’t understand…. I can’t… stop him…. he’s too strong.. ” This one sounded more like John… but she couldn’t be certain….



Understanding his anxiety and confusion, she tried to reassure him, “It’s alright…. we’ll help you fight him, John… don’t worry…”



There was silence, his posture was different somehow, and then his voice changed too, “Johnny did a bad thing… he did a very bad thing… has to be punished… the mean man will come… he’ll come to punish Johnny… I know he will….”



“No… he won’t.. sweety…. the mean man isn’t coming, John… and we know you didn’t want to hurt that other man.”



His breathing rapid, he spoke in short broken phrases…. as if it were a battle just to utter any logical response, “No…I.. I didn’t… we…..didn’t mean to…hurt the man… the soldier… he.. he got.. he got angry…. we tried… we tried to stop him…. but we….couldn’t… I couldn’t stop him…I’m so sorry…..”



Her hands went to her mouth in an attempt to contain her fear and horror on his behalf… ‘Oh God, John!’ she cried out in her mind, gasping as she absorbed the meaning of his words. Not really understanding what was transpiring in his traumatized brain, John was laboring vainly to hold the personalities together… to fight the mercenary… but felt he was losing the battle. “Honey… I know… we all know that you didn’t mean to do it….”



Their conversation was interrupted by the hustle of several people entering the unit, their shoes shuffling on the tile floor. Tensing up, Marlena didn’t need to turn toward the sound. She knew that it meant the police had arrived.



“Where is he? Where’s the perpetrator?” yelled one loud mouthed cop.



“This him?” he said upon seeing John.. curled up fearfully on his bed. “This guy? He’s the one?”



The men laughed… thinking it impossible…. Marlena instinctively moved in to protect the man she loved, who suddenly seemed more vulnerable than she ever remembered him being. As the child persona, the loud noises and the crowd gathered round him were frightening; he was trembling… “It’s okay, Johnny… it’s going to be okay..”



“He’s here…. I heard him…. he’s here to take me away, isn’t he?” Johnny cried anxiously.



Kneeling next to him, her hands on his back, she attempted to soothe him, “No… no he’s not here… it’s okay…. don’t be afraid…”



“Afraid… him? He just broke a man’s neck! And you’re worried about him?”



She turned toward them, her expression fiercely protective, “Yes… I am…. he’s… he’s not what you think… this isn’t what it looks like… “



“Oh…. he’s not…. he’s a wacko… that’s what he is… and he needs to be kept locked up….” said the youngest one in the bunch.



The man on the bed started to make noise… quiet at first and then becoming slightly louder… humming a melody of sorts…. it seemed to calm him.



“Lady…. … we have to question him…. if you’re his doctor you can be present to help him stay calm… but we need to take his statement… “



“Alright… but let me talk to him alone first.” The situation was so overwhelming she never gave a moment’s consideration to whether or not they were following proper police procedure.



“Sorry…. can’t do that…..this man, mentally ill or not, is accused of a brutal crime, one witnessed by more than a dozen people. We have to take his statement…. if you want to get an attorney… you go right ahead but we are going to take him into custody tonight… “



“Alright… but let me prepare him….”



“Go ahead… but I want to hear every word you say… “



She nodded slightly but said nothing in reply. Slowly, she approached the bed, worried about what he might do in response to added pressure… “John… honey… the policemen are here…. they need to talk to you about what happened tonight… can you tell them?”



There was no response. She went around to the other side, so she could see his face and look into his eyes. Marlena jumped at the unsettling sight… his face was bruised and swollen, his cheeks bearing the marks of a hand which must have smacked him more than once…. remnants of tears on his cheeks. But it was the look in his eyes that frightened her. They were open wide, but they were empty, dull… lifeless. “John…. Johnny…. can you hear me?”



Still nothing…. “John… you have to tell them what happened… you need to tell them why the mercenary got angry.”



Again, he laid there in silence, immobile, his expression devoid of emotion. She turned back toward the policemen and apologized. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think he’s going to be able to tell you anything right now.”



Blowing out a long breath, the senior officer, who had been out on the unit questioning the witnesses, stepped in and reconsidered the wisdom of an immediate arrest. “Perhaps it is best if he’s retained here… until we can get the DA before the judge on this one…” Looking down at the accused and then at the woman who seemed to be standing guard over the man, he gave some advice. “Lady, if this man is someone you care about…. I’d recommend you hire an attorney who specializes in this sort of thing… “



“Yes, thank you…. I will…..” she said dully, still in shock over what was happening.



The uniformed cop stared at the man wearing the white coat…. reading the name badge… “Dr. Purdue, we’re going to hold you responsible…. you keep this man in restraints until the judge has made a ruling on his arrest and incarceration…”



“Yes.. of course we’ll do that…” Jeffrey said, nodding in agreement. They wouldn’t take any chances. John Black and the people around him needed protection. He’d be held in four point restraints until the official legal determination was made. The best action he could take as the patient’s psychiatrist of record would be to complete a competency evaluation for submission to the courts. The issue was sure to be at the center of the discussions regarding the pursuit of a conviction in connection with the tragic occurrence.



Marlena was staring worriedly at the man she loved when all the pressure seemed to overcome her ability to withstand stress, and she crumpled under the weight of it. Jeff barely caught her as she sagged. With the help of two other staff members, he managed to settle her down onto a cot next to John’s bed, certain that was where she would want to be when she awakened from her unplanned rest period. With a tired sigh, he turned off the light and left them to sleep in relative peace and quiet, while he went out to question every man and woman on the unit regarding the unfortunate incident that lead to the death of a patient.

She was watching as they led him away in chains…. just like with Sami… his wrists secured hip high in heavy iron cuffs because he was an escape risk, as well as being considered violent and extremely dangerous. She could see from his slightly misty eyes that he was afraid but he was covering well… looking at her with this expression of overwhelming love… and remorse for the pain he’d caused her. They’d let him stop for a moment to speak with her, turning him to face the woman he loved, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for all this, Doc…. I love you…please don’t ever forget that.. ” he said, a lone tear trickling out of his left eye.



Tears streaming down her face, she could barely speak for the fear that controlled her, “Oh, my God.. John… I love you too…. I know this isn’t your fault…. and we’re going to fight for your release honey…. we’ll fight this and we’re going to win…. please try to believe that!” she cried, trying not to fall apart. The last thing he needed was to worry about her.



She tried to put her arms around him but they wouldn’t let her get that close… pulling her away from him. Tears flowed rivers down her cheeks as despair claimed her heart. He was being placed in solitary confinement…for the protection of others, while he waited for the order of execution, and she would see him no more. “No… no NO!!” she screamed, battling to escape the firm hold of two strong police officers.



~~~~~~~~~~~~



Marlena sat up, startling at the noise, beads of sweat forming on her brow…. breathing hard and wondering where she was. Who had been yelling? “Oh… Oh, it was a dream…. just a bad dream…” she said to herself as she began to settle down, realizing it hadn’t happened that way.. at least not yet. Then her gaze fell upon the man restrained in the bed next to her cot…. and considered that it could become a reality sooner than she wanted to think. But what could she do to help him?



She heard him stirring, her outburst must have woken him too. He was whimpering….. ‘Must be the child… Jeff said he comes out at night…. Poor Johnny… I’m sorry for whatever happened when you were young, John…. and for what Stefano did to you…’ She stroked his hair and spoke softly to calm him, “Shh… shh…. it’s okay, Johnny… it’s okay… I’m here… I’m here for you…. “



His eyes still closed, he started talking, as if responding to a dream or some other internal process…”Mama…. is that you, Mama…. did you come back for me…. you said you would… I’ve been waiting Mama…. “



Her heart ached for him…for the sweet innocence of his stolen youth…. “Oh, John… no, honey.. it’s Marlena.. I’m here for you… ” she said, gently touching his cheeks with both her hands.



“Oh… I know….she’s not coming, is she… “



“No, sweetie… I’m sorry… I don’t know what happened to her… but I’ll be here… as long as you need me.”



His eyelids fluttered and he looked up at her, as the tears receded, “You’re nice to me….. I… I… like you…. ” he said, a sweet boyish smile decorating his handsome face.



It was difficult not to respond to him as a mother would to her child… but she managed it, “Good…. I like you too, Johnny… and I’m going to help you… I promise…”



He loved the way she smiled… but she seemed so sad….maybe if she helped him, she wouldn’t be so sad anymore… “Can you please… take off the belts…. they hurt…. I won’t be bad again… I promise I won’t…”



The boy sounded so wounded….. so innocent….. so afraid. She agonized over it saying, ” Oh, Johnny… I don’t think I can… some pretty horrible things have happened… “



“I know… but I won’t… hurt anyone.. please… they made the straps really tight this time.. and it’s hurting me… please?” There were tears in his eyes…. and his face was wracked with fear and pain a little boy didn’t understand.



How could she turn him down? This was a child… an innocent boy who’d been hurt immeasurably…. Responding emotionally, she agreed, “Alright.. but just for a few minutes… and then I have to put them back on… it’s for your protection too, Johnny… please try to understand.”



“Thank you nice lady…. ” he said as she leaned down to undo the leg restraints…. In a matter of a few minutes, he was free again….



“You’re welcome, Johnny… ” He looked at her… and for a moment she thought she saw a flicker of recognition behind his drug clouded blue eyes.. but it was gone in an instant. When she looked again, she saw the vulnerability of the child who needed to be held. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around him. He clung to her, holding on as if to life itself, somehow knowing that she was the key to his survival.



The next thing she knew, he had turned the tables on her, taking control of the situation, clamping his right hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming, wrapping his left arm around her midsection. She was as angry as she was terrified, struggling vainly against his overwhelming physical strength.



Whispering into her ears, he told her what he intended, “Listen to me… I’m not going to hurt you… but you must know that I can’t stay here… he’s coming for me. It’s only a matter of time… so I have to leave, tonight… “



Her eyes wide with fear and something else he couldn’t name, she was obviously desperate to speak.. He wanted to hear it, but she had to know the rules…. “If you want to live… you won’t scream… now, tell me what you want to say…”



Realizing immediately that there was nothing she could do to convince him not to leave, Marlena looked him right in the eyes and said firmly, “Take me… take me with you… ” She was frightened beyond belief, but she *had* to be with him… She truly believed that without her, the man she loved would not survive emotionally. John would be at the mercy of the ruthless mercenary, maybe forever lost inside that man’s cold dark world.



He shook his head… “No… “



“You know that you need me… there is a part of you…. the wounded spirit…. “



Cutting her off, he stated his opposite perspective quite powerfully, “It was John’s *need* for your love that got us in this mess in the first place. No, I don’t need you…. I don’t need anything or anyone! “



Nodding her head, she didn’t argue, knowing better. “Maybe not… but John… he’s a part of you…. and *he* needs me… you know that… Take me… I’ll be your hostage.”



His lips curled into a satisfied grin….he nodded, thinking it over. “My hostage….. yes… I *will* need a hostage, won’t I? Something to bargain with…..”



“Yes…” she said swallowing hard, cognizant that he truly would think of her in those terms….an object to be used, perhaps discarded if she became a nuisance or an inconvenience. This man was nothing like the man she loved, but she knew he was there behind the warrior’s eyes. Somewhere deep inside the damaged psyche of the person standing before her, John Black, the man she married, was there and she was going to do everything in her power to bring him back. Even if it meant risking her own safety, or indeed her life.



Taking a moment to contemplate the possibilities, he agreed, gripping her right arm tightly to emphasize his control over her. “Alright… but you will follow my orders…. do exactly what I say…”



“Yes… yes, I will… I won’t fight you…” she said, convincingly, afraid of what he might do if she resisted. She sensed he was holding her with only a mere fraction of his adrenaline fueled might, when to her it seemed as though the circulation were being cut off.



“Good…. then you can start with getting me off this unit…. ” he said, pulling her roughly to her feet.



Fumbling in her pockets with her free hand, Marlena presented him with the tools he needed, “Of course… I’ve got a set of keys…. “



“So I figured… well let’s get on with it lady…. ” he said, ushering her out of the seclusion room, careful not to break physical contact with her in case she began to change her mind. Casting a brief glance at the leather straps that had bound him to a bed only a few minutes earlier, he flashed on other times he’d been locked up or restrained in somewhat similar fashion. It sent a cold shiver down his spine. Even more than the pain he’d suffered, that was the worst part… not being able to move or to fight, kept from following his basic instincts.



Hoping that going on familiar terms would help, she reminded him of who she was…. “Marlena… my name is Marlena… “



“Yea…yea… I know that… but the name means nothing to me, lady… I do hope we’re clear on that… I’m *not* John Black… not the one that you knew…. so don’t expect me to act like him,” he said almost resentfully, glaring at her to be certain she understood.



She nodded soundlessly as she met his penetrating gaze, forcing back tears… A feeling of sheer panic struck her heart like a bolt of lightning in the middle of a rainstorm, expected but somehow still shocking. It made her begin to wonder whether she shouldn’t try to stop him from leaving somehow. What if she’d been wrong, what if she couldn’t reach him? Where would that leave her and John?



It was a quiet night on the unit, all the patients sleeping, a couple of the staff members having dozed off as well. They crept toward the door unseen and unheard. In less than five minutes they were almost to the front entrance, the last locked door between the Mercenary and freedom. Standing there as Marlena inserted her key into the door knob, he breathed deeply, his entire being filled with the exhilaration of anticipation. In seconds he would be outdoors, sucking down fresh air, his feet on soft ground. It was almost too good to be true.



At last, they were standing outside the confines of the psychiatric hospital and he was a free man. “Well, I have to go now…. ” he said flatly.



A different sort of anxiety took hold of her, as she imagined him alone in the wilds of the Pacific Northwest, “No… you said you were taking me with you.. please… “



He shook his head. “It’s too dangerous… you’ll only slow me down…. ” and turned to leave her, taking a few determined steps toward the thickly wooded area that surrounded the hospital on three sides.



Desperation set in… If he left her now…. there was no telling what might happen to him, both physically and emotionally. John was at such great risk, as was anyone with whom he came in contact. Thinking of the unfortunate patient the mercenary had killed a few hours ago, as well as his family, Marlena strongly urged the dark haired man she hardly knew to reconsider, “Wait… you *need* me and you know it!”



He was shaking his head, not wanting it to be true…. but he stopped his forward progress, listening….



Realizing she had his full attention, Marlena said the one thing she knew would make him change his mind, ” What about when the child comes out…. what will you do then… how will you survive out there?” she said to challenge him, gesturing toward the wilderness into which she instinctively knew he was headed.



It wasn’t the forest that scared him. It was an unnatural foe that worried him. He suppressed a shudder at the thought of going up against Dimera and then suddenly reverting to the wounded child because of some unknown trigger point. He’d been vaguely aware of that possibility, but hearing her say it made it all the more real. Turning toward her, his chest heaving for the anger he felt in admitting to a need of any kind… he capitulated, “Alright… I concede your point… but I’m warning you now… I’m nothing like John… NOTHING!” he added, his demeanor harsh and threatening.



She only nodded at first, his raging exterior terrifying. Finally, she managed to make a verbal reply, forcing herself to remain calm and focused…working on slowing her rapid breathing. “I know…. I know that… and I won’t pressure you…. I’ll just… be there… for the rough spots…. that’s all..”



The woman cared deeply about that other man and it was unnerving…. so he backed her off, grasping her shoulders and staring her down, as he made their situation crystal clear. “Look lady…. I can handle anything that comes my way…. so don’t you go getting any ideas here… about love…or anything else. I’m committed to only one thing right now… and that’s going after Dimera. That Bastard’s going to pay for what he did to my head…. for all the torture… and the pain! Finally, he’s gonna pay for what he’s done to me.. “



Thinking that in saying it, he sounded a fair amount like the John Black she knew and loved, Marlena, pleased to be sharing a common purpose, smiled at him and shrugged out from underneath his hands. “Well, that’s one thing we can agree on completely… I want to make him pay too!” she said marching off ahead of him, thankful that she’d happened to be wearing a sweatshirt, jeans and tennis shoes just this once. They would serve her well for the rugged and dangerous journey on which they were about to embark.



The Mercenary watched her start up the path he’d planned on taking. Admiring her shapely curves, at the same time, he was thinking there was much more to this one than a pretty face and a body that could take a man’s breath away, even when fully clothed.



She was afraid but she had fire in her eyes…

Lexie Carver surmised, from the apprehensive expression on her husband’s face and his tense movement across their living room floor, that something was terribly wrong and she wanted to know about it so she could help. “Abe… I’ve had enough of this stewing… what on earth is bothering you?”



He shook his head and said nothing, wondering as he continued to pace which he absently noted was uncharacteristic, if he were just being paranoid. Talking to himself, he worked at remaining calm… but the uncertainty about John’s condition had been eating at him ever since he received the phone call from Marlena. ‘She said she would call when she had some information, after she’d had time to assess John’s mental state… and prognosis. It’s only been a day and a half, Abe… she probably just hasn’t had time to call.’



“Abe… honey, I can see that you’re very worried about something, or some one… won’t you tell me?”



He hated to shatter her illusions about her father, who had supposedly been changing for the better, but he knew it couldn’t be kept from her for long. “Oh, Lex…. you’re right… I am, but I really don’t want to tell you why.”



Her eyes narrowed, puzzled as she was by his comment, “Why not?”



There was a long pause before his reply, “Because it involves your father, Lexie…. and John.”



She scrutinized his expression, her own eyes widening, searching for hidden truths. “What do you mean, Abe…. my Father is here in Salem and John is… nowhere to be…found. ” Slowly, the meaning of her husband’s words was beginning to sink in. “Are you saying you have reason to believe that…… that my father had something to do with….” She couldn’t finish the sentence. It was too disturbing to contemplate and she wished she could run away, and not hear what her husband would say by way of explanation.



With an almost apologetic sigh, he looked right at his wife and answered her truthfully, “Yes…. we all wondered why John left so suddenly. Some people, including you, concluded that it was because of the humiliation and shame he felt after the truth came out about the baby… and, of course, the pain of losing Marlena, at least temporarily.”



“But it wasn’t…”



“No…” He wasn’t forthcoming with details, still not wanting to destroy her image of the man she had come to love as a devoted Father.



Not able to stand the tense silence for one second longer, Lexie nearly yelled at her husband, “Abe… for God’s sake just tell me what you know!”



“Alright… Marlena called me on the way out of town the other day. She had received a call from a Psychiatrist in Seattle Washington about a John Doe patient that had been admitted to the facility where he worked. Apparently an unidentified man was found wandering in the forest outside of Seattle. He had been beaten, drugged, and systematically tortured. He was… unable to tell them even his own name, he didn’t speak much even after a few weeks there, he was agitated most of the time, and he wouldn’t eat. The doctor wasn’t sure what to do to help the man, so he called Marlena… then he sent her a file on the computer. Lexie… there was a picture included.”



“And it was our John Black….” she said, stating the obvious at this point.



Nodding reluctantly, wishing the whole thing were just some nightmare that might soon come to an end, he said it quietly, “Yes…”



“Oh, God…. Oh my God, Abe!” she exclaimed, remembering how their friend looked when he returned from Maison Blanche… exhausted, his formerly muscular body gaunt and battered, his spirit wounded, his normally sparkling blue eyes dim and haunted….”Oh.. poor John, not again…” she cried, putting her hands over her mouth, as if to control her emotions.



“Marlena and I both think it was Stefano…. now it all makes sense, Lexie… why John never called home or even wrote to his children. Stefano wanted to take advantage of John’s vulnerability to convert him back into his Mercenary.”



She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing as she labored to defend him, even as her heart was forced to confront the reality of his evil. “Oh, no, Abe… but he’s…. he’s been so good…. he’s been… helping all these.. disadvantaged families in the inner city… he’s been… keeping some of the free clinics afloat for months now.”



“It’s all just a front, Lexie…. done for your benefit…. and to cover his tracks. He’s still involved with theft, and drugs, and arms deals, just like he always was and he wants John back at his side….”



“Well, have you heard from Marlena….” She stopped short, suddenly cognizant of the reason for his upset. “No, of course you haven’t… that’s what has you so worried…”



Staring almost idly out the window of their living room, he nodded and affirmed her statement, “Yes…. she was supposed to call me when she had made some kind of assessment of John’s condition…”



“And that was what… a day and a half ago? Abe… maybe it’s too soon. She probably just hasn’t had….”



Their speculations were interrupted by a telephone call…..Abe snatched it up and answered hastily, hoping Marlena would be the caller, and put a quick end to his worrying. “Hello, Abe Carver….”



“Commander, this is Doctor Jeffrey Purdue…. from West Seattle Psychiatric Hospital. I’m calling because your name and phone number were found in the purse of Doctor Marlena Evans… You’re a friend I presume?”



“Yes… what’s wrong, doctor?” he said, wasting no time. The mere fact that he was calling a number found in her purse meant there had to be a serious problem.



“Do you know about what happened to John?”



“Yes, he’s my best friend. Marlena called me just before she left for Seattle… how is he?”



“That’s the problem.. I don’t really know…. both of them seem to have disappeared. There was an unfortunate incident on the unit last night. John was being held in restraints and Marlena was on a cot next to his bed sleeping. But when the staff went in to check on them this morning, they were gone without a trace. She left without taking her purse or any of her other belongings, and she hasn’t been back to the hotel where she was staying.”



“What are you trying so hard not to say to me, doctor?” Abe asked, wondering where the conversation was headed.



“The only logical conclusion is that he… physically forced her to go with him.”



Resentful of what the man was implying, Abe argued the point, shaking his head firmly, “No…. John loves Marlena… he would *never* hurt her or intentionally put her in harm’s way.”



“You don’t understand…. John is suffering from the aftereffects of severe physical and psychological trauma at the hands of some sadistic captor. When he was admitted he had extensive internal and external injuries from which he is still recovering, not to mention the brain trauma and the lingering, possibly long lasting effects of some potent chemicals used to achieve mind control. He is currently experiencing significant amnesia, although it cannot be fully assessed because he also has a Dissociative Disorder, commonly referred to as Multiple Personality.”



He felt a cold shiver run down his spine in just hearing the words being said. How could John recover from the madman’s cruel torture and brainwashing yet again? “And…. ” Abe said, choking back his fears for the sanity of his best friend and the safety of woman who loved him. John fragmented into different parts of himself, some so deeply wounded… others… perhaps angry…violent, wanting to exact some form of revenge on his vicious tormentor. ‘Oh, John… hang on buddy… just try to hang in there….’ he said, hoping they could find a way to help him.



“And, right now, the dominant personality is the one who calls himself Soldier Black.”



Abe remembered some conversations with Marlena…. and catching glimpses of that persona afterward. There was the occasional flicker of cold detachment in the man’s typically warm and inviting blue eyes, some hard edge that appeared without warning. “The Mercenary….” he said softly, pausing as the images faded, having stimulated further thought about what might have happened. “So what you’re saying is…. you think maybe he took her with him against her will…. as a.. hostage?”



“Yes… I’m afraid I do.. based on our conversations, I don’t think she would ever leave here like this, not of her own accord. She knows that he desperately needs psychiatric treatment in a hospital setting. He needs extensive therapy and should be medicated and monitored on a twenty four hour basis for an indeterminate period of time, in order to recover from the cumulative effects of the trauma.”



“Alright… so he’s at risk… she can help him… she’s very skilled,” Abe proffered, praying it would be enough.



“Yes, she is… but she has only her counseling skills and nothing else. What I’m trying to say is that they might not be enough, Commander. “



Switching subjects, Abe made a pertinent inquiry, “How did they leave?”



“On foot…. they must have headed up into the hills….”



“Have the police mobilized a search team?”



“Yes, they have, and so far they’ve turned up absolutely nothing. This man is quite skilled. I have no evidence to support this theory, but I’m starting to believe that the soldier persona is totally at home in the wilderness and if he doesn’t want to be found, we won’t find him. And that…. scares me, Commander.”



“Abe…. please call me Abe…”



“Abe…. I cannot stress to you enough… just how much danger she is in being out there alone with him. He… killed another patient on the unit last night. Seems he was slapped in the face a couple of times….. and he grabbed the man and snapped his neck. It was over in a matter of seconds. I’m very concerned that if she says or does…. the wrong thing….”



The concept was anathema. “No… no, he *loves* her… I can’t believe that John would ever hurt her.”



“You’re absolutely right, the John you know would never hurt her…. that’s the whole point here…. this man she’s with now…. he is *not* John Black, not the one that you call best friend, nor the man she married. She thinks she can help him and maybe she *can* reach inside and draw him out. But it’s going to be a very long, hard fought battle, and without psychotropic medication to help manage the episodes of flashback induced rage and control the anxiety and agitation…. I’d say it’s virtually impossible.”



Pushing down his fear for both of his friends, Abe told them man what he planned to do, “Okay… I get your point… I’m on my way out there on the next flight… tell me how I get to your hospital..”



Jeffrey Purdue provided directions from the airport and the call was finished. Hanging up the phone, he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He prayed that telling the people back in Salem what was going on was the right thing to do and that they could help in the search as well as support the couple once they were located and John was re-admitted to a psychiatric facility. His mind gave him a vivid mental picture of the tremendous physical struggle that would ensue in attempting to do so, if the Mercenary persona continued to dominate over the long haul.



Lexie waited for only a second after her husband hung up the telephone to begin asking for more details than she could surmise from listening to his side of the conversation, “Oh Abe…. what did he tell you?”



His sigh was heavy and protracted, his hand lingering on the handset. “Oh….. he told me that Marlena is in terrible danger. It seems that John is very…. disturbed… because of what Stefano did to him. The Mercenary personality has taken over and probably forced her to leave the hospital with him. Lexie… he killed another patient last night…. apparently the man slapped him a few times, and John… must have had a flashback… I don’t know… but he snapped…. and broke the man’s neck.”



Tears of empathy for both her friends began to flow as Lexie Carver imagined their plight, “Oh my God…. that’s horrible…. poor Marlena… she must be… so confused, and frightened right now.. wanting to help…. but afraid of what he might do.”



“Yea….. so I’ve got to get out there… I’m going to try to get Bo… or Roman to go with me… they might be able to help in the search… “



It made her heart break for the entire family to utter the question, “Abe, I really hate to say it… but do you think they’ll even care?”



Remembering the last few times the subject matter came up around any member of the Brady family, save for Hope, who was beginning to find it in her heart to forgive him….he wondered the same thing, “About John…. I honestly don’t know, Lexie….. but they definitely care about Marlena… “



“Abe…. tell me something…. if you find them… and he’s threatening to hurt her… if it comes down to a choice…. “



Shaking his head, he walked away from her, refusing to go there… “Lexie…. don’t even think like that… we’re going to find them and bring *both* of them back…. and then John can get the help he needs to heal…. he’ll be okay. I have to believe that.”



“And what about my father?”



“If we can prove that it was him….. if John remembers what was done to him, and we find a shred of evidence to support our knowledge that Stefano was responsible, he’ll be put away for a very long time. From the sounds of it, John could easily have died from the physical injuries alone, Lexie.. I know you love your Father, but I want him to pay for all the suffering he’s inflicted… and not just on John.”



Nodding, she didn’t argue, “I understand… if he is guilty…. after everything he put John and Marlena through before… then I…. want him to pay too…”



“Okay then…. can you handle telling the family what’s going on, or do you want to take care of the plane reservations?”



“I’ll do the plane reservations, Abe… and then I’m going to call Stefano..” she replied pleasantly, while starting to walk away from her husband.



His arm shot out and his right hand grabbed her forearm to stop her from leaving the room, “No… no, Lexie you can’t do that!”



“But, I want to confront him with what we suspect… “



“No, Lexie I’m sorry, but he can’t know anything about this… if John managed to get away from wherever he was being held, chances are Stefano’s men are looking for him as we speak. We don’t want to give them any idea of where to look… can you understand that?”



With a groan that said, ‘I can’t believe that didn’t occur to me,’ she nodded and said, “Yes, of course I do… I’m sorry I didn’t think of it immediately… we don’t want him to get to John and Marlena first.”



“Okay then… I’ll call the Pub and then go over and talk to the Brady’s in person… you handle the Horton’s and the plane reservations and I’ll see you back here.”



She only nodded, somehow fighting back the bitter tears of disappointment. How could she have been so easily fooled, when everyone else cautioned her that the man’s supposed change of heart was false? She steadfastly refused to see the truth…. and John had suffered for it….



‘Oh, John… I’m so sorry… I should have known….’ She wept for him….for the pain and torture he endured all alone in some dark place like the dungeon at Maison Blanche….



Lexie now realized, in looking back, that she’d unwittingly set it up for him to be abducted. How could she tell Abe that she’d been keeping her father informed about how John was fairing in the aftermath of the revelation about the paternity of Hope’s baby? It suddenly occurred to her, the purpose of many of their chats, and she tasted the salt of those bitter tears. All along her father had been pumping her for information… waiting until John was as his lowest point, the night Marlena asked him to move out of the Penthouse. She’d even mentioned that he would probably spend the greater part of the night down by the waterfront, which was the last place he was seen. “You will face justice this time, Father…. I’ll make sure you pay for the agony you’ve caused him…. for all the pain and separation you brought into their lives… and for deceiving me… yes, you will pay!”



While dialing the number, Abe found himself hoping and praying that they would listen. Maybe Caroline… she was the most forgiving one in the bunch.



“Brady Pub,” answered a familiar but unexpected voice.



A jolt of nervous adrenaline punched him in the gut and he stammered through his response, “Uh.. Bo, I uh… well I uh… hi.”



“Hello boss… what’s going on….what’s got you so flustered?” Bo asked pleasantly.



Abe hesitated to even say the not so welcomed name, “It’s about… John…”



His voice hardened instantly and the temperature dropped a dozen degrees, “Well, then.. I think I’m going to hang up…. “



Desperate, Abe cut to the chase, “No wait, Bo… please! This involves Marlena too. She’s.. in trouble…”



There was dead silence on the other end of the telephone line….



Standing there leaning on the bar, Bo was thinking back to the soul piercing look of anguish on her face when she learned about John’s web of deception. Marlena was a fellow victim, another unsuspecting dupe in John Black’s circle of lies… His stunning betrayal had hurt them all, but Marlena the most. She trusted him implicitly and then found out he’d been lying to her for a large part of their first year of marriage, steadfastly denying any need, deflecting her repeated attempts to help him with what was upsetting him. Instead, he hid the truth and went to Stefano behind their backs….turning to that monster’s underhanded methods in eliminating the threat offered by Hope’s memories, while outwardly pretending to despise the man and everything he touched.



Bo Brady essentially hated the man he’d once called brother, and wanted nothing more to do with him, but if Marlena were suffering again…. because of that lying, two-faced coward…. John Black, was going to get a lot more this time around than some bruises, a couple of cracked ribs and a black eye.



After what seemed an eternity to Abe, he responded cautiously, “Alright.. I’m listening….”



Breathing a sigh embodying his misgivings, Abe second guessed himself as he prepared to tell the story. Maybe he should have called upon someone who didn’t harbor such openly hostile feelings toward the man. Bo had every right to be angry with John for what he’d done, but the tone of his voice hinted at murderous fury. Maybe that would change when Abe told him what was happening, and what he suspected about the months prior to John’s disappearance.

Without warning the strong willed, gorgeous looking, blond haired woman stopped dead in her tracks, turned around and said quite convincingly, “John, we have to go back.”



“Not possible. I won’t be locked up again. Not EVER!” he declared with heretofore hidden fury, while walking right by her.



That much she understood….”But, we have no money, no credit cards, nothing, John…. you don’t even have proper clothing…or a decent pair of shoes.” She pointed to the hills in front of them and said, “The fact is… it’s getting cold at night now and we’re going to freeze out there. Besides that… you’ve been badly hurt…. without proper food and medication, you won’t continue to heal well.”



The look in his eyes told her he’d been thinking the same thing, but also that he’d been trying to deny it to himself, “Well, maybe so… but we can’t go back… we have to find some other way. Who can you call to wire us some money… someone who won’t contact the police.”



“A friend… our friend… Abe Carver.” She didn’t think it was prudent to mention that he *was* the police. The mercenary obviously didn’t recognize the name. That was a bad sign overall, but in this particular instance, it worked to her advantage. It meant he was moving deeper into the personality, the memories of his life in Salem being further buried the longer he was away from that life. “You don’t remember him, do you?”



“No…but then again, I don’t… remember you either. I know you… but I don’t… remember.”



It brought tears to her eyes and despair threatened to take control of her heart, “Oh, John…”



Ignoring her sadness, he forged ahead with the questions, “So who is he anyway… how do you…how do *we* know him?”



“He’s uh… he’s been John’s friend for a long time. They… worked together,” she said, struggling to focus on their current situation rather than the big picture.



“Oh… well, are you sure you can trust him?”



“Yes…. completely… I know he’ll help us if we can reach him.”



“What do you mean *if* we can reach him? Why shouldn’t we be able to get a hold of him?”



“Well, he might… try to come out here if he hears about what’s happened.”



That made sense, and he nodded, saying, “Oh… well, is there anybody else?”



“The Brady family….”



That was a familiar name, and he knew about some of the recent events, from the point at which the transitions began, “Yes… I remember them… Stefano hates them…. wants to hurt them.”



“That’s right… do you know why?”



“No… not really… just that it has something to do with some incident in Ireland a long time ago… some dispute over property… I guess.”



“Oh… well, anyway… they might help me.. I mean us…”



“No… you were right the first time. I know that they hate John now, since they learned what happened between me and Gina….he messed up and the truth came out.”



She forced her own pain down, realizing she couldn’t focus on that now, not if she were going to act as John’s lifeline. “Yes… they’re pretty angry about all of that, but they’ll help me. They see me as your…”



He smiled with a perverse sort of satisfaction, his tone sarcastic, “Victim… I know… I know… I’m the Sinner and you’re the Saint.”



She sighed, exasperated with him. Maybe there was a little more of John in him than she’d noticed. “I suppose… but we need to contact them…. right away.”



After a few seconds of silent contemplation, the Mercenary came up with a different plan, one that left no one to give the authorities a lead as to their whereabouts. Spotting a fairly remote ATM, he waited until the perfect opportunity came along. It happened in less than ten minutes time after they left the hospital grounds. A middle aged man wearing a designer suit stepped out of one the local businesses, and took out his bank card. The mercenary sneaked up behind him without making a sound; his victim never saw the blow coming. John stripped the man of his cash and dragged his unconscious body out of sight behind some nearby bushes, while Marlena looked on in shocked horror.



She could only stand by and watch him work. There was no hesitation, no concern about how badly injured the man was, just the achieving of an objective. Marlena shuddered internally as he brushed the dirt from his hands and smiled with a hint of pride on his face, saying “Okay… got some cash… now let’s go shopping lady.”



All she could do by way of response was stand there and shake her head in stunned disbelief, hoping the man was not terribly injured and that he would be discovered in time to get appropriate medical attention.



A couple of hours later, having taken the risk of being caught, they still had some money and the proper clothing, as well as some light camping gear, food and other supplies. Soldier Black had made it perfectly clear to Marlena, that no matter what else happened, they were going after Dimera. Therefore, they were heading north, on up into Canada. At several spots along the way, she had considered running off and going to find Abe and Bo, both of whom she surmised were headed for Seattle.



In the end, she opted to stay with this overtly aggressive and volatile personality who looked so much like the man she loved, cognizant that she was John’s only true emotional attachment to his life in the present time frame. Who could know exactly what combination of physical, mental, and emotional torture he had endured or the damage Stefano’s harsh methods of brainwashing and mind control had done to his already wounded psyche. Marlena was terrified for him… and for herself and their children, believing that if she left him alone in the wilderness, the person she knew and loved so deeply might never re-emerge.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



The steady rhythmic melody made by raindrops pelting the ground outside the cave should have lulled them to sleep. Instead it made them huddle closer to the fire, knowing that any chance at gathering more dry wood was lost. They could only hope they had enough to last the night.



Perhaps things would look better in the morning light. But there was so much rain in the Pacific Northwest….



“I remember… another night like this… It was cold and we were in the West Virginia wilderness… in a place a lot like this one… can you remember?”



His eyes squinted, as if searching for long lost memories…. then he shook his head, a hint of sadness appearing on his rugged stubble covered face as he played with the ashes, much like she had that night so long ago.



“I was frightened… and we were lost, searching for answers to your identity and your past…. and you held me… we were fighting it, but we needed each other and we kept each other alive… do you remember that night, John….”



His face contorted, almost as if in physical pain. The mercenary was straining to hold off the man inside, the one who did recall that pivotal night. “No, no I don’t remember… now look, it’s getting late… we should go to sleep.”



Undaunted, she continued to press him slightly, cautiously placing her hands on his back. Sensing his apprehension, she said softly, “It’s chilly tonight, John… just like it was then… are you sure you don’t recall? I remember how it felt to have you hold me… I was terrified, but in spite of my fears, you kept me safe and warm…and I was able to get some rest.”



His eyelids fluttered wildly, his body edging away from the gentle soothing warmth of her touch, as if that could stop the man… Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she saw his blue eyes mist over, and she knew it was John who peered out at her, somewhat timidly, trying to make sense of madness. “Doc… is that you?”



Relief flooded her heart and she felt a lump in her throat when she went to answer him, “Oh, yes…. baby it’s me… I’m here, honey….”



Stammering, he said what she longed to hear, “I….r… I remember….” and his lips curled into a bewildered smile.



“Oh, John… I love you so… I’m so glad you do… “



He took in their surroundings and tried to gain his bearings. But there was no point of reference. “Marlena…. where are we? … how did I…how did we get here?” John asked, anxiously scanning the space in which they sat. Finding no memory of traveling with her was alarming at best. “I… I don’t…understand. I’m missing…. huge… chunks of time, Doc,” he said, his voice shaky with emotion, feeling a crushing sense of panic setting in. “What’s… happening to me?”



Taking his hands, she gazed deeply into the deep blue mists of confusion….”It’s okay… oh honey… it’s okay…. I want you to listen to me, John… very carefully… because I don’t know how long we have here….” With her slender right hand on his left cheek, she implored him to hear and absorb her heartfelt commitment, her eyes brimming with unshed tears, her voice quavering with the fear of losing him in the next moment to that other man she didn’t know. “No matter what happens, honey… I’m going to be with you…every step of the way. I need you to remember that….and hold onto it. I love you, John Black….with all my… heart… and I won’t… leave you. Repeat that for me, honey… it’s very important right now.”



Her distraught expression and the fact that her hands were trembling told him Marlena was terrified of something, but what could it be? And why was it so important for him to repeat what she said? With a sense of stunned disbelief he did so when she started to weep, “You… love me and you won’t.. leave me….. Okay… okay…. I’ll remember, Doc. But, can you… please tell me… what’s.. wrong?”



How she hated to tell him, fearing that it would send him away.. Her voice crackled with concern, “Sweety, I’m so sorry… but you have what Kim had. There are parts of you…. that have…. formed into… separate personalities…. with their own traits and behaviors. And they’re…. fighting to have a voice…. to have a place in your life.”



He shook his head and the muscles of his face betrayed his distress and self reproach. “Oh no…no… Why… why did it happen to me, Doc? Is it because I wasn’t.. strong enough? Oh, I let him… take control over me again… didn’t I? I didn’t.. fight him hard enough… I failed…. and I betrayed you….and every one else who loved me… I’m so sorry…”



“No, John… please stop this.. stop this…. right now!” He was immersed in guilty anguish and she could see that she’d lost him before the words ever left her mouth. John was reverting again.



It was always shocking to see the changes taking place in a multiple personality disordered patient, but this was different. It was tremendously frightening because it was personal. This man into whom he transformed was the antithesis of the one she loved.



His face was a mask of indifference. His eyes were a cold metallic blue and his voice was thick with disgust, “You see…. he’s a pathetic loser… he’s a failure and he knows it… why don’t you just let it go, Doc?”



Her anger and frustration flared in her response, “No… never… because I *love* him!”



He scoffed at her, “Right…. that’s why you threw him out of the Penthouse the night Stefano took us.”



“That was the night?”



“Yes…. we were confused… angry, in despair… John never knew what hit him.”



“So it was *my* fault?”



“No….it was *John’s * fault… Stefano really worked him over. He fought it for a long time, but he just couldn’t deal with losing you, and because of that he wasn’t able to handle the torture. John couldn’t take care of us anymore, so I had to step in and take charge again. I’m sure I can do a much better job of it than he did. Now, like I said… it’s getting late, and we need some sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be a long hard day…”



Marlena said nothing further in response, nodding and turning her back to the mercenary…. prepared to cry herself to sleep, weeping silent tears born of fear and longing. At least she knew that John was still there and he could be reached. She had proven that much. ‘Oh, John… hang on honey…. I’m not going to let you go….I won’t let Stefano’s hatred take you from me… I won’t!’



For a moment, he admired her shapely curves and then laid down as well, facing away from her. The mercenary was cognizant that he could not allow himself to become distracted from the task at hand: a rugged journey toward the land of payback



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



She awakened in the night to the sounds of soft muffled crying. It was disorienting and she struggled to figure out if it were the whimpering of a wounded animal or…. and then he cried out and she knew who it was.



“No… please don’t….put me back down there…. no…. “



Where was the noise coming from? She looked where he’d been, but he was nowhere near the fire where it was warm. Frantically, she called out his name, “Johnny… honey where are you?”



There was no answer, only the worn out sobs of a little boy. “Johnny… it’s going to be okay… I’ll find you.” She groped in the dark toward the sounds she heard from across the way, they were distant, then closer, distant again, until she knew she was almost there.



When she reached him, there was just enough light to see his position. He was curled up in a ball against the far wall of the cave shaking violently, his arms wrapped tightly around his tucked knees. He was cold and probably experiencing a flashback. “Johnny….. it’s okay.. you’re safe now.”



It was so cold and dark there. “Have to be… brave… he says I have to be brave… have to be…ss.. strong…”



“Where are you Johnny… tell me about it ?”



“The dungeon…..cause I was bad…. that’s where he puts me when I’m bad.. to teach me….”



“What did you do?”



John struggled to tell her, breaking into guilty sobs, “I….we… hurt a man…. we made him…. dead… we didn’t… mean to….but he was…he was…. hurting us….”



It brought tears to her eyes… his tortured mind was mixing everything up, making the current reality even more confusing for him. “Oh baby…. I know you didn’t…”



“It’s cold in here…. it’s really cold…and dark… I want to go home….I want to go home now.. Will you.. please take me home now?”



It was almost beyond her to respond in the way he needed her too. She wanted to take him in her arms and comfort him, tell him it would all be over soon… but she couldn’t do that. John desperately needed her to be the psychiatrist and not the worried wife, now more than ever before… “We will… we’ll go home, honey….soon.”



“Is my Momma coming for me? She said she would come back for me… but she never did… Why… why doesn’t she love me?”



‘Oh John…. all those years…. no wonder you never remembered. You were abandoned.’ “Johnny honey, I think that she did love you…. she just… couldn’t be the one to take care of you… I’m sorry but I don’t.. know why.”



He started to cry…. his blue eyes full of a little boy’s pain, his speech coming out between cries… “The mean man… he says she doesn’t love me at all… he says she left me cause I was bad… he says it to me over and over again. He says I’m no good…. and then… he says the only thing I’m good for is…killing… but killing is bad… isn’t it? I don’t… understand!”



It was breaking her heart; she could feel his pain… his turmoil… “Oh, baby… you’re right… killing is bad… and if you did it… it’s because he made you… it’s not your fault, Johnny…”



He brightened slightly, “It’s not?”



“No, Johnny…. ” she reaffirmed, shaking her head.



His eyes were moist again, bearing the tears of a little boy who finally had some hope because someone truly cared for him. “I like you… you’re nice to me… you’re the only one… who’s nice to me…. “



Her hands went to her mouth in an attempt to control the choking sobs that threatened to spill out in response to what she was learning. How she hated that evil bastard for hurting the man she loved, and more importantly she loathed him for wounding John when he was younger, maybe still impressionable. At the very least, she now knew that a much greater portion of his life than they had imagined, was spent under that madman’s cruel tutelage. “Oh.. honey.. I like you too….and I’m so sorry…. but it’s going to be okay…. Johnny, honey.. you’re trembling from the cold…why don’t you come with me… over by the fire…. where it’s warm…”



“Okay….” He nodded and then cautiously took her hand and let her guide him toward the fire’s light…. Gently she urged him to lie down, stroking his almost shoulder length hair and rubbing his back with slow soothing circular motions, his eyes falling shut in response to her tenderness. At last, the sobs faded away and she was rewarded by the sights and sounds of steady even night breathing. He was asleep.



Watching the slow and steady rise and fall of his now more slender chest, she wept again for his pain and for her own as well, wishing she was lying next to him, wrapped in the tender strength and protection of his arms, safe in their bed back in Salem. ‘Oh, John…. I’m not sure that what I’m doing is right…. pushing the mercenary… forcing him to confront our history…. Am I helping you…. or am I bringing Johnny out when I do that…. I wish I knew what to do… Oh, how I wish I could talk to Jeff or.. Laura and Mike about this…’

The anger had cooled slightly when he thought John would be taken soon, but there was more bad news and Stefano shouted into the telephone, demanding answers, “What do you mean he’s not there, Bart?”



“I mean he flew the coop, and reports have it that he took one beautiful lady doctor with him as a hostage. Seems he ran off into the woods with her. There are cops and Ranger Rick types crawling all over this place… “



He slammed his hand on the blotter in front of him and stood up. “Dammit!” There was a chilling silence following the expletive. And then he began issuing orders, almost bellowing at his underling at the same time as he seemed to have quelled his initial fury. “Alright, listen to me, Bart! You get our best men on this.. make sure they’re outfitted with night gear, everything they’ll need to track John both in daylight and the dark. He’s good, but he’s also got some weaknesses.”



“Uh Boss.. I just thought I’d let you know… seems that right now, John isn’t just plain old John anymore. He’s mostly the mercenary man.”



“Good…. then our work was more complete than we first thought.”



“Uh Sir… Ralphie here would like to talk to you about that.”



The physician glared at his so-called partner in crime as he took the phone from him, “Stefano… what Bart is trying so unsuccessfully to tell you is that it appears John is suffering from multiple personality disorder… now called Dissociative Disorder, by the way… and he’s very unstable. In his disorganized state of mind, there’s no telling what he might do.”



“Alright…. but I’m confident our men can handle that. After we have him in our possession…. we’ll manipulate the other personalities to make sure the mercenary dominates…and we’ll finish up where we left off.”



“Sir… what I’m trying to say is… the mercenary may… have his own distorted agenda. It won’t be easy to find him or bring him back. Encountering him may be.. extremely dangerous.”



“Rolf… we’re talking about one man… a very skilled, very clever soldier at that, but he’s just one man, not an army. Now, get on this, Rolf… you and Bart assemble a crack team and capture John *and* Marlena! And you make sure every man on that squad knows I don’t want them hurt any more than absolutely necessary to take them into custody, or there will hell to pay.”



“Yes sir, Mr Dimera!”



As the mad scientist was closing up the cell phone, Bart said, only partially in jest, “Guess the boss man didn’t catch the Rambo series…. eh Ralphie?”



Rolf almost smiled as if to say… ‘That’s pretty accurate, but enough already.’ Actually, he reiterated Stefano’s orders, “Alright, now Bart… you start assembling the team while I work on acquiring the rest of the file on John Black. I might be able to glean some important clues about his emotional and mental state which might help us in completing the brainwashing process.”



He waved a hand over his head as he walked away. “Okay, okay… don’t get so bossy, Rolf… I’m on my way… I’ll see you back at the motel later on.”



“Yes… later.. ” Rolf was saying as he began to work out a possible scenario in his mind. He was wondering if indeed Soldier John Black could fight off an army of men, law enforcement and otherwise, with his almost superhuman strength, incredible stamina, and finely tuned survival skills, all of which were brought to the forefront when the mercenary persona took control. The days ahead should prove to be quite fascinating, an opportunity to see how well his research in mind control, and all his hard work with the man in question, had paid off.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



In the space between slumber and wakefulness was a magical place in which one could both experience the dreamstate and evaluate it as well. It was such a good dream she was having.



So real……



John was fully recovered and they were finally home in their own bed, safe and sound, and making love. It was almost like he was actually there touching her, nuzzling her neck, and gently blowing in her ear. “Mmmm, oh John….. that feels so good.”



He whispered his need, his voice filled with desire “I want you… I want you *so* much…..”



Snuggling closer, she replied with growing passion, “Oh, John… I want you too…”



The cry of an animal awakened her. Immediately, she sat up, blinking her eyes and trying to discern reality from fantasy.



He was less than two feet away, silently staring at her, his blue eyes intense with desire, or something like it. “I was dreaming too, Marlena… and then I woke up… and it occurred to me…. Here I am… alone in this dark cave with a stunningly beautiful woman…. why not take advantage of it?”



“John…. ” she questioned, fearing the edge she heard in his tone, and inching away, shuddering at the thought that he was the one touching her, and that it was why the dream seemed so realistic.



“No….but this is what you wanted…. earlier… when you were trying to get me to remember, wasn’t it?” he asked, taking her in his arms as if he wanted to possess her, his hands on her shoulders, one moving toward her face. “You want me to remember holding you… touching you… loving you…” he said in a voice that hinted of his intentions, as his lips hovered near hers. “Don’t you?”



She was trembling with the power of her emotions. Fear and desire and anger all rolled into one. After a struggle to contain them, she managed to reply, “Yes… but not like this.”



He eyed her warily, and challenged her, almost daring her to reject him as he leaned in, his gaze penetrating, “So, then.. you don’t… want me….”



Taking a deep breath, she gave herself wise counsel, ‘Careful, Marlena…. this isn’t the man you love…’ Suppressing a shiver, she replied cautiously, finding it hard to look him in the eye, “I… do…. but I….I need to….get to know you.. better.”



“Well, then… allow me to introduce myself, I’m John Black… a slightly different version… but the body’s the same…” he said, swiftly taking off his shirt and revealing the sculpted chest she had so desired.



Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him, but Marlena labored to keep herself from recoiling physically. The well developed muscles were still there, along with some nasty welts, and other marks of sadistic torture not yet healed. “Oh..” she cried softly, covering her mouth with her hands. She wanted to touch him…. to somehow heal the wounds of the man she loved… but this was not the time. Out of necessity, Marlena forced back the outrage and horror she felt about what must have taken place during the months he was missing, months that passed while she thought he had simply abandoned his family.



“So what’s the problem, Doc?” he said, shifting himself closer, pleased to see that he was making her uncomfortable, for whatever reason.



She took a chance on partial honesty, praying for her own sake that he could handle it, an apprehensive sigh escaping as she replied. “Yes… the body is the same… and I still admire it very much… but I… love, John… the man that I know as well as I know myself… he’s the one I want…..I’m sorry.”



With no external warning, John grabbed her and kissed her savagely, his tongue forcing its way into her mouth, thrusting hard against her throat, almost choking her. In her mind she was screaming at the top of her lungs… ‘No, John….no don’t do this!! Please don’t do this to me… to us!’ For seemingly endless moments, she fought helplessly against his overwhelming strength, finally managing to free a hand to slap him in the face and back him off. He immediately reared back as if he were going to strike her in return.



A chill ran down her spine as she looked into a pair of almost navy blue eyes. One back handed blow at full strength and she could be dead, her husband left alone to deal with the loss caused by the actions of his own violent alter ego. Instinctively, she cried out to him, hoping to reach the man behind those dark orbs, “No, John… no… don’t you *do* it! It’s Marlena… I know you don’t want to hurt me, John… I love you and I know that you love me too!”



His hand trembled with the tension, as if he were fighting some hidden force. It was a fierce battle being waged between the man she loved and the mercenary. “I love you, John… no matter what… we’ll work things out… but I need you to come back to me, honey….”



The strain was nearly unbearable… he needed to do something to stop her. Grasping her by the shoulders, the mercenary yelled at her, shaking her both physically and emotionally, “Shut up, you just shut or I *will* hit you!”



Tears were pooling behind her eyes, but she confronted him despite her fear, her voice quavering with that emotion. “No, no you won’t…. because John.. won’t let you.. His love for me, and mine for him… is stronger than the hate Stefano used to create you.”



Again, his right hand went back, slowly curling into a fist. But the muscles of his arm twitched and his hand shook violently. For one split second, she thought she saw the essence of the man she loved behind those steely blue eyes, agonizing over what he was about to do. Frightened out of her mind for both of them, she continued to encourage him, “Yes,…. honey… that’s it… you’re doing fine…. just keep fighting, John…. I’m here. I’ll be right here…waiting…”



He was breathing raggedly through clenched teeth, the mercenary struggling for control over the man inside, the man who wanted to regain his rightful place as the dominant personality. After an interminable wait, his fist unfurled and the hand dropped to his side. Still breathing heavily, he looked away and gave another verbal warning, “I told you… to be quiet… now if you won’t do what I say… I’ll have to gag you, lady.”



Shaking her head and letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, satisfied with the progress she was making, Marlena relented. Scooting on her backside to put some distance between them, she replied more evenly than she would have thought possible, “No.. no that won’t be necessary…. I’ll stop pushing…. let’s just…. try to get some rest now, okay?”



Nodding, his body shuddering violently from the release of tension, he put a hand to his suddenly aching head and parroted her statement, feeling unexpectedly exhausted, “Yea…. that’s right… we need to get some rest. Tomorrow’s going to be a very long day.” He laid down on his left side, facing the opposite direction from her, unable to make sense of the mixed sensations, thoughts, and emotions she stimulated inside him.



“Yes.. I believe it will.” Marlena laid down too, on her back, not daring to close her eyes at first, laboring to control her own breathing, and feeling relieved when it began to calm. Pulling a blanket around her shivering form, she admonished herself, ‘Oh, Marlena… you took quite a chance there…. he really could kill you… with one punch… you have to remember that he is *not* the man you love… and stop pressuring him!’



It took a long time, but finally… his harsh breathing quieted and she knew he had fallen asleep. Blowing out a tremendous sigh of relief, she folded her hands together and tilted her head skyward, offering a silent prayer, ‘Oh, thank you God…. please… help me to reach him… show me how to break through the defenses of the mercenary to draw out the man that I love… and Lord….if you will….begin to heal the soul deep wounds of the little boy, and give my John.. the strength to keep fighting for survival…. let him feel and embrace my love…. and know that I am always with him.’

Memories of a terrible period came rushing by as she tried to make herself go back to sleep. The last night she had spent any length of time with the man she loved was a good three months earlier, and it was a distinctly unpleasant encounter for both of them…..



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



They were standing in the bedroom. She by the bed and he in the frame of the door, engaged in an emotion laden discussion, when she made herself say the words she knew would cause him the most pain, “John, the truth is… I want you to leave…. tonight.”



His blue eyes were instantly moist, his face cloaked in grief, his sorrow for having hurt her plainly evident as well. “But Marlena… I thought that…. you wanted to… at least try…. to work things out… You said that….”



Prepared for his objections, she interrupted him, putting a hand in front of her body as if to stop him from moving toward her, “I know what I said, John…. and I do… but I need some time, and I know that I won’t… get that time, if you’re still living here. So, I want you to move out of the house.”



“For how long?” he asked her worriedly, sounding almost like a frightened young child wondering how long his mother would be gone away on a trip, somehow apprehensive that she would not return, despite all her assurances.



She could not let his distress make her forget the pain he’d caused her, nor the damage his actions had wrought in the lives of others they cared about. Marlena found her anger flaring as she responded to him, even as tears were filling her sad eyes, “I don’t know, John…. but you must realize that this isn’t something.. that can be easily resolved. John… you share a child with another woman… you remembered what happened *months* ago and you lied about it repeatedly. You lied to me, to Hope and Bo… and worst of all… you went to *Stefano*….for help when you were in trouble…. rather than turn to the people who have loved and supported you all these years.”



“Marlena, I know that I’ve hurt you…. and you’re angry…. God knows you have every right to be…and I am SO sorry…for the pain I’ve caused you.” He tried to put his arms around her, but she shrugged out from under his grasp, stepping toward the window, determined to keep at least a few feet of distance between them.



Wincing from the open rejection, he started to ask a question, “But, Marlena, how can we work this out if….”



She was firm with him, making sure he was clear on her perspective, “John…. you told me the other night that you would do whatever I asked of you…. you meant it, didn’t you?”



Her husband dropped his head and let out a sad sigh before he spoke in hushed tones, apparently recognizing that a period of separation was inevitable, “You know I did, Marlena…”



With her voice quavering as she fought back a deluge of tears, despairing at the thought that he might never come back, she pointed toward the door and said, “Then go, John… Please, I want you to.. pack your things and go… right now, tonight. Give me the time I need. If you love me… the way you say you do, you’ll honor my wishes in this, John.” Like her husband seemed to be, Marlena had never been so afraid for their love, because this pain was inside of *them,* as opposed to being some external obstacle to be overcome. No, this time, the monster was within and she wondered whether it could ever be vanquished.



John shook his head, obviously fighting back a torrent of emotion, “No, Doc…anything but that… please don’t…. do this! Please don’t… send me away. I… I.. need you.”



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



She repeated his last three words out loud, “I need you….” Thinking back on it, the way he said it… his trembling tear choked voice, the way his bottom lip quivered slightly, the anguished expression on his face, his pleading blue eyes. John was desperate for her to let him stay, and she now wondered if a part of him knew even then that something horrible would happen if he were left to his own devices.



“Oh John,” she said with a woeful sigh, recognizing that the situation was even worse than she thought at the time. Was the mercenary already taking control over him? Had her husband been struggling for several months before that, battling valiantly to hold onto his basic sense of self? She hadn’t seen or heard from him since he stepped out the front door of their penthouse condominium that night, yet here she was on the run with a man who looked essentially the same, but who acted and sounded completely different from the one she loved.



It was as strange a feeling as she ever experienced, watching the man as he lay sleeping on his side. John seemed much the same, on the outside.



There was the familiar curve of his back, the slow and steady rise and fall of the sculpted chest that she’d admired and run her hands over, at least a thousand times before, although he was considerably thinner than when last she’d seen him. Marlena recalled the sound of his night breathing, the occasional tremor in his legs as he slept and dreamt. But to know that she was looking at someone who was in all practicality another person, or rather two others, was confounding at best.



Gently, she tugged at the blanket that covered his bare back, again wanting to see and yet not wishing to cast her gaze upon the visible scars resulting from his recent ordeal as Stefano’s captive. She gasped, squelching the sound of it with her left hand, for fear of waking him. He’d been brutally beaten… repeatedly, that much was clear. There were a dozen new crisscrossing scars on his back, and countless other marks of terror, whose exact cause she could not determine. And what of the brain washing, the mental torment to which he’d been subjected. She began to weep, first only a light trickle, as she spoke to him in hushed tones, tracing the edges of the marks with her fingertips. “Oh, John… my love…. how you’ve suffered….. because of that evil bastard….” How we’ve all suffered.’



He murmured in his sleep, “No… Doc, don’t make me leave.. I’m so sorry… please don’t make me go… I…love you…” Then he stopped, as if there were some kind of a change in what was happening. John seemed upset, becoming restless and agitated, but he didn’t say anything else out loud. Inside the dream he was seeing vague images of what had been done to his mind, ‘No.. don’t take her… please don’t take her from me… no….no.’



Increasingly fitful, he yelled suddenly, “No….Doc!” waking himself up and making her jump. He sat up, his bewildered blue eyes searching his surroundings as his eyelids fluttered, his breathing rapid, his forehead beaded with sweat.



Uncertain who she would encounter, she placed her hands on his upper arms, her touch light and tentative, and spoke softly, “John….. it’s okay… it was just a dream.”



“Marlena… what?” He shut his eyes in an attempt to quell the nausea and dizziness he felt. Only mildly successful, he asked the other question on his mind, “Where are we?”



Not wanting to give too much away, she told him the bare minimum, hoping he would begin to remember, “Well, we’re in a cave, John….. do you remember anything?”



At first he only shook his head and then he wiped at his face with both hands, next moving them to massage his temples. “Mmm, oh… what a headache. ” Slowly, he seemed to come to more full awareness of his current reality. “I remember…..we were… it was…. a long time ago, we were in a cave… we were so cold. You didn’t trust me then.”



It made her smile, which confounded him even further. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant moment in their history. “Yes, John…. earlier tonight I reminded you of that time..”



Her warm smile was mildly reassuring, yet the confusion reigned, “But, Doc… where are we now?”



No sense in making it harder for him. Deciding that direct truth was the best way to go, she gave it, “We’re in the hills somewhere outside Seattle Washington. “



His brow furrowed. He had no memory of going anywhere near Seattle, let alone heading on foot into the wilderness. “Why….”



“John… do you remember anything else?”



He shook his head, and answered plainly, his blue eyes slightly vacant, “No…. Marlena… I don’t remember much of anything… My last clear…. memory is…. of the night you made me leave.”



Squelching the pain she still felt about his actions prior to that goodbye scene, she scooted closer so as to observe him more closely, “I know…. I was just….. remembering that night myself. Are you sure you don’t recall what happened to you after that?” she asked, narrowing her gaze.



Again his head was shaking as he searched his jumbled mind for answers. “No… but I know….. somehow. I remember you said…. Stefano had me… he tried to… bring back his mercenary… is that right?” he asked, rubbing at his temples again. For reasons he didn’t understand it was painful to try to remember.



She nodded, hoping that he would recall more and more as they talked, “Umm, hmmm….. what else?”



His breathing was suddenly very rapid again, his face contorted with the effort he was making. His hands gripped his head fiercely as he finally replied through ragged breaths, “No, can’t…. can’t….. Oh, pain… pain!”



That frightened her. Whatever transpired, Stefano didn’t want him to remember it. “It’s okay, John….let it go… just let it go.”



There was silence for several long moments. John seemed to be struggling through it, searching for any trace of memory… “I.. I…. fought him…. he… he was so… angry. Said I betrayed him….had to be punished.”



‘Oh, John…..’ Pushing down her fear of what he might tell her, she forged onward, “What did he do, John… do you remember any of it?”



“Yea…. he uh… beat me… drugged me too. And he uh… he did something to my….brain.” John was squinting, as if that effort would either make the pain go away or allow him to call forth the memories he needed, “I don’t know why, but I can’t… remember things.. I lose…time. I lose lots of time now.”



The muscles of his face were taut with the frustration of not understanding. Knowing part of the answer to his unspoken questions, she hurt for him, hating the pain it would cause him to fully realize how ill he was. “Oh, John…. oh, honey….”



“I….tried, Doc. I held on…. for awhile….. but he kept….drilling it into my head, that you didn’t want me, nobody wanted me and I…. I…..”



“It’s okay, John…. it’s okay…. “



“I let go….. I… fell into the darkness. I don’t.. remember anything after that.” He sounded so far away, as if he were in some ways back there, wherever it was Stefano had him, feeling the shame and the humiliation of having given up. It worried her.



She took his hand for a moment, wondering what the symbolism meant, as she surmised that he was speaking figuratively rather than literally, “What do you mean darkness, John?”



Shaking his head, he wasn’t sure himself what it meant. He only knew that his mind was essentially a blank slate after a certain point in the process, for which he had no time reference whatsoever. John blinked repeatedly and she wondered why, whether it was about searching his mind or if it were more significant. “I don’t know. I guess I just….shut down somehow. I couldn’t think anymore…. couldn’t…. fight the drugs.”



Muttering quietly to herself, she concluded, “That must be when he took over.”



“Who, Doc?” he asked, obviously puzzled by the comment.



“The mercenary…”



That captured his complete attention. Alarmed, he stared at her, demanding information, “What exactly are you saying to me, Marlena?”



Hesitant to tell him the truth, she touched him on the shoulder, as a gesture of comfort, wishing for some way to make it easier for him, “I’m saying that…. the mercenary has been…. the dominant personality… as far as I can tell.. he’s been in charge for months, maybe longer, John. That’s why you’ve lost so much time.”



All he could do was stare out of incredulous eyes, panic setting in as he pondered exactly what that meant, where he’d been, what he’d been doing all that time. After a long silence, he finally mustered the nerve to ask, “How long has it been, Marlena…. since you told me to go?”



“I’m not exactly sure how long he’s been…. exerting a controlling influence over you, but I know for certain that it’s been at least three months. Because that’s how long ago you disappeared, John “



It was terrifying at best. ” Three months?” Possibly even longer she’d said. “Oh, my God….. you mean to tell me that I was…. with him…. all that time, I was…..Marlena, where was I? Wh… What was I… doing for him?”



“No one knows, John…. you were missing without a trace.” His expression of stunned dismay told her she couldn’t let him know that they didn’t look very long or very hard, because they thought he left of his own volition, not wanting to face the consequences of his actions. That would have to come later, when he was stronger.



After a brief pause, she told him what she thought he could handle, hoping it might stimulate some memory, “Honey, you were found wandering in the wilderness a ways east of Seattle by some hikers about a month ago. You were in horrible shape and you collapsed; they took you to the local hospital and you ended up in a……” She paused, thinking of how to put it.



“In a what, Marlena… where was I?” The more she told him, the worse it sounded, but maybe it was better than the uncertainty.



Thinking it wasn’t good for him to learn too much at one time, she hesitated to answer, and opted for a question, hoping something would come back to him. “Do you remember anything from the last few weeks, John…. anything at all?”



John shut his eyes, laboring for any detail, some small fragment of recollection…. “Oh, my God… I do.. I remember something… “



“What, John…”



Images flashed in his mind like scenes from a movie. “I…. killed someone, didn’t I? I… I….choked him and I…br.. broke his neck.” John was sitting cross legged on the sleeping bag staring down at his hands, which unexpectedly began to tremble violently, and his voice shook as he related his only solid memory from the previous month long time period. “Oh my God… I.. I’m….I’m a.. murderer, Doc!”



John’s blue eyes were wide with shock, and his lips were quivering just like that night. He was mortified by what he’d remembered, and Marlena realized that if she didn’t do something to reassure him, she’d lose him again. But what could she say to that?



“No… John, honey….it wasn’t your fault… it was a horrible tragic accident, but it wasn’t your fault…. you have to believe that.”



She was talking to him, but he could no longer hear what she was saying. He was immersed in the vivid flashbacks in which he saw images from the hospital confrontation, interspersed with those from his time as Stefano’s hapless captive. After harrowing moments in which she saw the emotions of disbelief, terror, acceptance, and finally grief and remorse displayed in rapid succession on his tormented face, John shared his internal experience and his horrified reaction to what he’d done. “He was…. he was hitting me in the face, Doc….just like Stefano…. I… I thought it was… him…. he… he looked just like… Stefano. Oh, God!”



“John…. look at me… Honey, look at me!” But he wasn’t. John was changing–just that fast, she was losing him. Marlena grabbed at his shoulders, then cupped his face between her hands, desperate to keep him with her, “No, John…. no, please don’t go! I can help you.”



After excruciatingly long seconds during which she prayed he would stay, she let her hands drop away from his cheeks, cognizant that it was too late to circumvent the transformation process.



His eyes went shut tight and the muscles of his face were taut, his head shaking rapidly back and forth, his body shuddering visibly, and then with little warning, all movement stopped. His breathing settled down. His expression was gradually changing, becoming a mask of indifference once again. There was no pain, no fear, and no anguish. He was impassive.



The man took a deep breath and let it out before opening his eyes again. They were a cobalt blue–cold, unfeeling, and distant. He blinked a couple of times and then seemed to notice her presence, as well as the fact that she was looking at him.



“What are *you* staring at?”



Tears were welling up behind her previously hopeful eyes, but they revealed no secrets. “Nothing…. nothing at all, ” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper, shaking her head sadly as she turned her body away from him.



“Then go back to sleep.” It was a command. Even his voice inflection was different.



“Of course… it’s much too early yet.” Outwardly, Marlena knew as she laid down inside her sleeping bag that she sounded calm and collected, but inwardly, she was quaking and her heart was crumbling.



Finally, she had truly reached him, she knew that *her* John was still there, basically intact but suffering memory loss, the full extent of which was not clear as yet, and the psychological aftereffects of whatever sadistic tortures Stefano had inflicted upon him. However, just as swiftly as he’d surfaced, he vanished. John was well aware that he had betrayed her and the entire Brady family, Stefano was punishing him for being disloyal all those years ago when he was trying to run away with Gina, and then he recalled having killed an innocent man by mistake. Remembering the incident at the psychiatric hospital could be enough to send him deeper inside, the mercenary somehow acting to protect his core personality from the painful memories and the heart wrenching feelings of guilt which could be so powerful in their influence.



Maybe it was too much….



‘Oh dear God… please…guide us. I don’t know what else to do to help him….. Please show me the way to bring *my* John back and keep him with me!’

The flight from Salem seemed to take an eternity, and now this lousy car
ride. Since there was nothing better to do, Bo Brady, who was not yet
convinced that John was the victim rather than the villain in the
scenario, gazed absently out the rear passenger window at the passing
scenery. While doing so, his mind began to replay the gist of the many
conversations, some rather heated, that he’d had with his traveling
companion. ‘So, exactly why *did* you come, Bo… was it only for
Marlena or do you care about him too?’ he was asking himself as his mind
went back a few hours or so.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You don’t understand, Bo… I’m telling you it wasn’t John…. just
like he wasn’t in control of what went on between the two of them on
that submarine…. the mercenary is probably responsible for a lot of
what happened after that. I’m almost sure of it now.”

“No… that’s way too easy…. John is the one who made the wrong
choices. He chose to lie to all of us, rather than face the truth… and
worst of all… John is the one who went to Dimera… looking for a way
out of his hell. Abe, he was actually thinking about letting that
BASTARD mess with Hope’s brain again in order to protect his secret.
Mercenary or not, I will NEVER forgive him for that!”

“Bo… that alone should tell you something, it should tell you that we
weren’t dealing with the man we’ve known all these years. After what
he’s been through, John would never do that to someone he cared about.
It *had* to be the mercenary part of him, Bo… can’t you at least give
John the benefit of the doubt, especially now that we know Dimera held
him hostage again, and was trying to bring back his.. creation?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bo was uncertain now of what to think. Should he believe that John
wasn’t himself during all those months, that the man didn’t realize the
extent of the stronghold the other personality had on him? Could he find
it in his heart to allow for that possibility? After all, he hadn’t
figured out that Hope was really Gina for several long months. He’d seen
her changing and didn’t realize what was happening to her. She wasn’t
responsible and he’d forgiven her for being with John. No, it was more
accurate to say that there wasn’t any forgiveness needed for what she
said and did as Gina, because it wasn’t her fault. Could the same be
true of John, or did he bear a greater responsibility for his words and
actions? It was so damn confusing!

“Bo…. what are you thinking?”

His partner’s voice caught his attention, and he looked up. “Oh, I’m
thinking I want to get some fresh air.. stretch my legs… how much
farther is it?”

Glancing at his watch, Abe replied, “According to what Doctor Purdue
told me, we’ll be there in about fifteen minutes, Bo… So…. how are
you feeling about this whole situation with John… and what happened
with Hope and the baby?”

“Well, I’m still angry, but I’m starting to see the possibility that
John wasn’t completely aware of what was happening to him…. that maybe
he was slowly changing and didn’t have total control over his actions
during that time he was lying to all of us.”

Curious and more than a little thankful for the slight cooling effect he
was observing, Abe had to ask for the reason, “What’s causing you to
change your mind?”

He was looking out the window at the terrain, noticing some hills in the
distance as he answered, “Well, I just got to thinking about Hope… and
how it took a long time for us to figure out that something was horribly
wrong with her… that she was Gina. Maybe the same thing was happening to John,
only it was more gradual and… inconsistent.”

Abe breathed a tremendous sigh of relief and was about to say something
about his reaction, when Bo said, “That doesn’t mean I won’t still want
to beat the living hell of out him when I see him again…. but I’m…
trying to understand how it might have gone down.”

Recalling what Marlena had said regarding the torture John must have
gone through, Abe said, “Bo…he’s not going to be in any kind of shape
to fight with you.” And then he tried not to laugh as an image came to
him unexpectedly, “…unless of course, he’s the mercenary, in which
case he’ll beat the living hell out of you, me, and at least a dozen
other guys…”

Despite the tense situation, Bo couldn’t suppress a chuckle at the
thought of it, “Yea… you’re probably right about that. I remember
how he was on that plane. Man he was like… Superman. Nothing could
stop him.”

“And that was with some of John’s influence… I wonder what Stefano’s
mercenary is capable of, Bo…” Suddenly, it struck him again, what kind
of danger Marlena was in by being alone with the man in such a volatile,
unpredictable state.

Recognizing the familiar expression of concern in Abe’s eyes, Bo touched
his friends arm and spoke as if it were voiced, “Me too…. Man, I hope
she’s alright.” He stopped as a thought he’d had early on, returned to
him. “Abe… I think you know there’s something else we have to talk
about.”

His friend nodded and let out a tired, worried sigh, “What if he….
what if the John we know seems lost to us, and the mercenary
threatens to hurt her?”

Meeting his eyes and locking on for a moment, Bo said it directly,
“Yea…. what if it comes down to a choice between Marlena and him….
what are we going to do?”

Abe agonized over it, finding tears forming behind his chocolate eyes as
his mind presented potential scenarios in which that choice became
necessary. It was an impossible decision; he loved them both. But
knowing his friend as well as he did, there was only one way to go. “We
save Marlena… at any cost.”

Bo nodded and pushed out a heavy sigh before he responded, “I thought
you’d say that. You know it’s what he’d want, Abe… if he could tell
us. “

When Abe finally answered, he’d shifted his focus to a point on the
horizon, his voice was quiet, and he sounded resigned, “I know.”

After what felt like hours spent in awkward all encompassing silence,
they were pulling up to the hospital entrance, having been waved through
an initial checkpoint since their arrival was expected. There were
literally dozens of local police cruisers, unmarked cars, and a host of
media vehicles encircling the unassuming one story brick building in a
tranquil woodland setting. There were cops, FBI agents, police dogs,
park rangers, reporters, and hospital staff littering the grounds. It
was total chaos, or at least it appeared to be as they stepped out of
the chauffeured car.

They were greeted warmly and ushered toward the door by a
thirty-something blond man wearing a white lab coat, who extended his
right hand and said, “Hello… you must be Commander Carver, Detective
Brady…. I’m Doctor Jeffrey Purdue, I’m the psychiatrist who was
treating your friend. Why don’t we go inside and I’ll fill you in on
what’s been happening.”

They looked around them, and then eyed each other, silently pondering
whether they should go talk to the cops, or meet with this man first to
get a better handle on John’s condition upon arrival, and his state of
mind at the time he left with Marlena. It was only a second or two
before Abe took that hand and replied pleasantly, “Hello, Doctor, yes,
I’m Abe and this is Bo… and that sounds like a good idea.”

Bo smiled lightly, and followed suit in shaking the man’s hand. Just
before stepping indoors, he glanced back at the search operation,
wondering how long it would take to track them down, and whether the law enforcement
people were considering John a dangerous fugitive from justice, since he’d killed a fellow patient.

Once inside, the doctor guided them toward his office so they could
speak in private. After giving them a moment to settle into his
nondescript daytime residence, four white walls displaying little more
than his diplomas and the standard office accoutrements, he offered
refreshments, “Would you like something to drink, some coffee maybe?”

Again, they exchanged glances that said, ‘Not me… no, me neither,’ and
Abe answered for the two of them, “No thank you… we’re just very
worried about our friends, what can you tell us, Doctor?”

Both men were sitting on the edge of the brown leather couch and chair
respectively, leaning forward with their arms on their knees, obviously
eager to get involved in finding the missing couple.

Sitting on the corner of his desk facing them, Jeff wasted no more time,
“Well, seeing how concerned you are, I’m sure you want to get out there
and help in the search, so I’ll give you the abbreviated version. Your
friend John is…seriously ill. He was severely traumatized by whatever
transpired in the months he was missing. The beatings he took….well,
let me just say that I’ve spent a considerable amount of time in
emergency rooms and I don’t recall ever seeing anything like what was
done to him. That alone could result in extreme psychological
difficulties for a victim. But to know that similar torture has been
inflicted upon him by the same…. assailant, on two other occasions, in
addition to the brainwashing and subsequent mind control, is quite
alarming. Frankly, in my opinion, it’s next to a miracle the man can
function in any capacity at this point.”

Admittedly shaken by what this objective psychiatrist was telling them,
Abe’s voice quavered when he asked about his best friend, “Were you..
able to talk to him, to *our* John at all?”

“Very briefly…. suffice it to say that he’s in a great deal of
emotional pain…. and he’s still recovering physically. Having reviewed
the records again, it appears that the mercenary personality serves a
protective function for him, allowing him to avoid facing the ugliness
of what he’s suffered and the losses he’s experienced, as well as the
guilt he feels for hurting the people he cared the most about. In
addition, I believe the mercenary provides the outward appearance of
strength and physical prowess, aspects of himself that were essentially
battered out of him. There is also a child personality, one that seems
to emerge mostly at night. He’s very fearful, very vulnerable and
responds well to nurturing. I’m not certain of the function he serves
for your friend, other than allowing his need for compassion to surface
and giving him permission to receive it, when the core of his
personality tells him he doesn’t deserve it.”

Somehow it was finally dawning on Bo just how bad things were for John, and consequently
Marlena. It shook him up, and he felt waves of shame wash over him as he shared his reaction,
“Oh my God….I had no idea…. what Stefano did to him this time… it messed him up…. John is
really.. sick, isn’t he?”

Jeff could feel the concern these two men held for the patient he had
come to care about as well, “Yes, I’m sorry… but he’s very sick….
and it may be a long time before you ever see the man that you knew.
John was being heavily medicated because he suffered bouts of extreme
agitation. I believe he was experiencing flashbacks that seemed to
trigger aggression and escalating violence. In addition, I’m not
absolutely sure, but it’s possible he has been suffering from a type of
post traumatic psychosis, in which he hears voices from his past,
alternately either commanding him or berating him, particularly this
Stefano Dimera, I believe.”

Trying to find reason to hope, Abe guessed, “So, you were making some
progress with him… because of the medication?”

“The medication made it possible to begin working with him. And I think
we were on the verge of making some breakthroughs, yes…. and then he
killed a patient on the unit. I’m sure that set him back, but I have no
way of knowing how far.”

“What happened exactly?” Bo asked, wanting to hear it from the
psychiatrist’s perspective in addition to Abe’s.

“It appears that the other man physically resembled this Stefano person.
They became embroiled in some kind of an argument and the man started slapping John in the face.
We think John must have had a flashback… I’m not entirely certain because I wasn’t on the unit
at the time, but he grabbed the other patient, and in a matter of seconds he’d broken the man’s neck.”

Shaking his head, Bo remembered a similar incident with a more fortunate outcome, “Oh man….
I saw him come close to killing someone like that once before… it was like he was in some kind
of a trance. There were a bunch of us there trying to stop him, but Marlena was the only one
who could bring him out of it.”

Shifting his position slightly, he let them know she needed more now
than her skills as a therapist, “Ah… well, it’s a good sign that he
has responded to her so well in the past. But I’m afraid this man is too
far gone for even her to talk him down.”

“What are you saying, Doctor…..” Abe asked, becoming increasingly
worried for Marlena.

“I’m saying that she has no medication with her to help manage the
episodes of agitation and rage he experiences when he begins to remember what’s happened to him….
or to help with the flashbacks, and the instances when he hears voices. The worst memories of
the torture heendured may very well have been triggered by the incident on the unit.
And I’m afraid that when the medication is completely out of his system,
John will begin to have more and more of those disturbing episodes and
become uncontrollably violent. Essentially what I’m trying to tell you
here is that John is NOT the man you’ve known. He is at once, Stefano
Dimera’s devastatingly wounded victim *and* his ruthless mercenary, all
wrapped up into one very unpredictable, very dangerous package.”

They shuddered to think of her attempting to calm him, trying to use her
skills as a therapist and her love to bring him back to her. This man
was making that sound like a ludicrous, utterly unachievable goal.

Reading their faces, Jeff stated it another way, “Marlena is in grave
danger and I’m quite certain she doesn’t comprehend the extent of it
because she hasn’t witnessed a full blown episode. After he killed that
patient, he became so agitated that it took six of our biggest,
strongest men to take him down.”

“Oh my God.. then we have to find them right away!” Bo exclaimed, nearly leaping to his feet.

Abe found himself trembling inside and it was difficult to even ask the
question, “How long do we have…. I mean… how long will it be before
the medications begin to wear off, doctor?”

“Some of them very quickly, the fast acting ones that manage the anxiety
and agitation, are already gone. But, I’d say if you haven’t located them
within 72 hours, we’ll have a very serious situation on our hands. He
could leave her somewhere in the woods, he could go on a violent
rampage…and harm Marlena and/or himself. Or if it’s dark and he
becomes suddenly frightened somehow…. he could revert to the child
persona…. and get lost or worse. Basically anything could happen
out there… it’s virtually impossible to predict what he’ll do if
threatened because he won’t be reacting directly to that threat but to
his distorted perception of it. And we have no way of knowing exactly
what that might be at any given moment.”

“Bo, you might be right…. it might come down to a choice,” Abe said,
rising somewhat unsteadily to his feet to join his friend. It was time
to go find them.

The physician, who was also standing at this point, having shared the
same concern, didn’t hesitate to confirm his conclusion as to what
John’s friend meant. “A choice as to whom you would save?”

They nodded and answered in unison, “Yes….”

Based on his own observations and their one word reply, he knew what
they had decided, “You would choose Marlena over John, wouldn’t you?”

Glancing over at his friend, Abe made himself say it out loud, “If we
have to, yes…. it’s what he would want us to do.”

For some odd reason Jeff smiled, thinking of the one aspect of the core
personality that seemed to come through clearly when he first
established significant contact with his patient. “I believe you’re
right. That is one thing I realized from the moment he saw her and had a
flicker of recognition. He loves her deeply…. and it was obvious she
felt the same way about him, despite the fact that he’d hurt her so
terribly. Let us pray that their love is strong enough, and deeply
rooted enough to allow both of them to survive in the wilderness.”

Taking a determined step toward the door, Abe let out a breath he wasn’t
aware he’d been holding and said, “Amen to that… now, Doctor, if
you’ll please excuse us… we really do have to get back out there and
join in the search.”

“Yes of course… I wish you luck… ” Jeff Purdue, MD let out a tired
sigh as the two men rushed down the busy corridor toward the front
entrance. “And Marlena…. wherever you are…. I hope that you’re being
very, very careful… and I pray you don’t forget for even one second
that the John Black you are with is NOT the man you love.”
It was getting lighter outside. Finally, it was time to get up. ‘What a relief,’ Marlena thought as she allowed herself to awaken slowly. But her eyes flew open wide when she heard an unnerving sound outside the cave. It was both a cry and a scream at the same time. She scrambled out of her sleeping bag and headed toward the source of the noise to find out what was the matter.





Clad only in his boxer shorts, John was sitting huddled near the entrance to the cave, shivering, his arms wrapped around his knees which were tucked close to his chest. His skin was wet with sweat, his long hair soaked and effectively plastered to his head.





Her reaction was instinctive, “John, honey…. it’s okay… you’re safe now.”





He shook his head in crisp sharp movements, but said nothing to her. Wherever his mind had taken him, it was terrifying and quite real to him, as if it were happening in the present.





Wanting to provide comfort, she reached out to touch him and he cowered at first, and then took a wild swing that landed on her upper left arm, knocking her off balance and onto her backside.





It took a minute to recover and realize what had happened. John had hit her. ‘Correction, Marlena… he reacted to the stimulus of your hand coming near him, which corresponded to something in the flashback, and you simply got in the way. He wasn’t trying to hit you.’ She knew that if she took it personally, if she entertained the idea that John actually intended to harm her, there could be serious damage to the relationship. She had to keep reminding herself that this man was not the John she knew, and yet he was there too, somewhere deep inside. It was confusing at best, terribly frightening at worst.





Realizing the flashback ought to run its course, she backed off, sitting down a few feet away from him, with her legs crossed; they used to call it Indian style. Her heart was breaking for him. He was shaking violently now, and muttering, his arms moving up to protect his head. “No…no more….God please, no more… help me.. someone… help me…”





A few seconds later, deciding she couldn’t just sit there and observe him like she was conducting some kind of a science experiment, she decided to speak to him again. Her voice was soft and low. “John.. honey… I’ll help you… if you’ll let me.”





His head shot up, his eyes searching for the source of the sound, some part of his mind apparently working to place the familiar voice. “It’s okay… it’s okay….you can trust me.”





That word sparked another memory, and he repeated it, suddenly becoming anxious, “Trust…..no….it’s broken… it’s broken….he says…. he says, I have to be…p.. punished.”





“John, listen to me… you’re having a flashback, but you’re going to be okay.  You’re safe now, with me. He can’t punish you anymore.”





“Safe… safe house… he has a safe house…. he took me there…. where no one can ever find me. He’s going to turn me back into his soldier.” He sounded so wounded, and yet somehow emotionally detached at this point.





Barely managing to contain her emotions, Marlena covered her mouth and cried out to him in her mind, ‘Oh, God, John… I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry we didn’t know,’ as tears welled up behind her eyes. ‘ We should have known!’





To the shivering man crouched against the wall, she said something completely different, “Listen to me, John… you’re having a flashback, it’s not real, it isn’t happening now… it’s in the past.”





Then she watched and waited. He seemed to settle down a little bit, his breathing slowing slightly, and the trembling beginning to abate. “Yes, that’s it, John. Calm down and think… where are you now, right now?”





He stopped shaking, his eyelids fluttered and he looked up, bewildered.  Then he called her name, as if uncertain of it, “Doc?”





Relief flooded into her heart. “Yes, oh yes… honey, it’s me.”





“Stefano had me…..he was… he was….” His voice caught in his throat and he shuddered visibly, as haunting images of excruciating torture returned.





“Shh… it’s alright…. you don’t have to tell me.” His eyes demonstrating uncertainty, John nodded in response and said nothing further, while Marlena sighed with a different kind of relief. There was a part of her that knew she needed to hear it, and that he needed to tell her, but it was overwhelming. The part that didn’t want to know the details, had won out for the moment. Eventually, it would all come out and they would have to deal with the pain, but not just yet.





“John, we need to get going… honey…”





When her hand lightly touched his bare right shoulder, he stood up abruptly, and nearly jumped backward, as if suddenly coming to a greater level of awareness. “What the hell just happened?” he asked, demanding an immediate answer, his demeanor changing with equal alacrity.





“Don’t you remember?”





“No… no, I don’t. How the hell did I get out here… like this?” he asked, surveying his surroundings and noticing his relative state of undress.





“Well, you walked apparently, or rather it seems.. you crawled,” she corrected, pointing to his knees and hands, which were scraped, his knees bleeding slightly. I heard you cry out and I found you out here, huddled up and shivering.”





His face was full of trepidation he was trying to hide, his mind full of questions she guessed, and then he asked one. “Well, what happened, exactly?”





“You had a flashback, and from what I could see, I’d say it was pretty vivid, terrifying for you. Do you remember anything about it, anything at all?” she asked with more clinical detachment.





John shook his head, gripping it between his hands. “Damn…”





“Headache?” she asked, watching him with a physician’s eyes.





Massaging his temples in a futile attempt to assuage the pain, he nodded slightly and said, “Yea… whenever I go after something he doesn’t want me to have a conscious memory of…” He groaned again, and completed the thought,  “It’s some kind of barrier mechanism.”





It was strange, but she wasn’t entirely certain with whom she was now speaking. Was this the mercenary, somehow mellowed by the experience of the flashback, or was this *her* John, beginning to come out of exile? At the risk of setting him off, she opted for silent contemplation rather than further questioning. She would have to make an assessment based on his behavior.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Bo Brady had taken more than enough of standing around with his hands in his pockets. It was time to get out there and find them. “Abe, this is getting ridiculous!” Bo said, slamming his hand down on a folding table that happened to be right in front of him, feeling disgusted with the way the search was being handled.





“I know, there’s a lot of confusion about jurisdiction, Bo… and what status to use. “





“Right… He’s not your typical fugitive from justice, but they’re going to hunt him down like one. Abe, just tell me one thing. Do they all have shoot to kill orders?”





Another voice answered the question, “Yes, they’ve been given shoot to kill orders, but only if the life of the hostage or the safety of any innocent bystander is directly threatened by his actions.” They turned to see a large burly man with a barrel chest and massive arms. He was wearing a black uniform characteristic of SWAT and holding an M-16.





“What about the fact that he’s sick. Doesn’t that count for anything?” Bo asked worriedly, witnessing the firepower being brought to bear.





“Yes, of course it does. But he’s killed one man and injured another. And now, he’s possibly armed and definitely dangerous. We can’t just let him do whatever he wants until he cools down, now can we?”





“No, of course not. It’s just… it’s really not his fault, you know…”





“No, it’s not his fault. We understand that he was torn up by everything that bastard Dimera did to him, to his mind and his body. All the guys know that, and they’ll do whatever they can to see that he’s not harmed. But they’ll also do whatever they have to, in order to protect anybody who gets in his way while he’s functioning as this… mercenary personality the doctor told us about in the briefing this morning.”





Abe turned and glanced back at the hospital, and then pointed toward it, saying, “Alright…  but we just want you to know, that what happened here was an accident. John Black is no murderer.”





“Abe, Bo.. look…we know that it was an accident…. and you can rest assured, nobody’s going to be calling him a murderer. But he’s taken a hostage, and in his current state of mind, a lot of people he comes in contact with could get hurt. It’s our job to keep that from happening, whatever it takes.”





Abe and Bo looked at each other, nodded almost in unison, and sighed, resigned to the situation as it was. The man was right. All they could do was hope that it would be resolved peacefully, without any bloodshed. And that with time and a lot of help, the John Black they knew would eventually come back to them.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





The television at the bar was left on with the volume on high. It was more than irritating, and Caroline Brady was just about to yell at anyone who was within earshot, when she heard part of a report on the mid-morning newsbreak.





A manhunt is well underway in and around Seattle Washington this morning for an escaped mental patient by the name of John Black. We’ve learned that there was some kind of tragedy at the Western Seattle Psychiatric Hospital involving this man and another patient. Details are sketchy at this hour, but it appears that Black has taken a hostage and escaped from a locked unit at the hospital. All we know at this point, is that it was a woman and the two of them are traveling on foot, heading north into mountainous areas.





Caroline was in shock, and it took several long seconds for her to catch her breath enough to speak. “Shawn…. Oh, my God, Shawn…. come here… quickly!”





There was terror in her voice. He came running in to learn the cause of her distress, but all she could do was point to the television. At that precise moment, there was a picture on the screen, a picture of a man this older couple once believed to be their son. But he was hardly recognizable. The man on the screen was haggard and he looked as though he’d been beaten and battered over a long period of time. His hair was long and unkempt, and his formerly sparkling blue eyes were dim and unfocused, almost vacant, their color a dull muted gray.





Shawn gasped and had to grab onto the edge of the bar to hold himself upright. “Oh, the Lord in heaven have mercy….  that’s our Johnny?”





His wife offered a weak nod of the head, and basing her answer on what the news announcer had said earlier, replied with quiet horror, “Yes…. he was a….a.. patient at a psychiatric hospital, Shawn….. he escaped and he took a female hostage with him.”





His mind instantly made a guess at the identity of the woman, as did hers, and they whispered the name together, “Marlena.”





“So that’s where she’s gone off to… to see if it was him, ” Shawn offered immediately afterward.





Caroline was beyond worried for both of them. A manhunt could be disastrous. And no one had any way of knowing for certain what John would do when threatened. “Oh, no…what’s to become of them?”





“And I’d be willing to bet that’s where Bo and Abe went too,” Shawn added quickly, without responding to his wife’s unanswerable question, thinking about what his son had told him when he left the Pub. He said Abe needed him on a case and that he’d call as soon as he found out what the situation involved and how long he’d be gone, but it was obvious now that Bo knew when he left. Now, his father understood. No one wanted to tell them anything until there were sufficient details to impart.





We have just learned that indeed this man is the missing entrepreneur from Salem Illinois. John Black has been confirmed missing by the Salem Police Department. Though no official “Missing Persons” report was ever filed, there has been an ongoing unofficial investigation since the night of his disappearance more than three months ago. Our sources on the scene tell us that it is widely believed John Black was abducted, presumably by Stefano Dimera, and then detained and tortured at one of Dimera’s many hidden compounds. After a period of approximately two months, the badly injured captive managed to escape and regain his freedom, only to collapse due to exhaustion in a wooded area east of Seattle, near Lake Wenatchee. He was hospitalized and subsequently transferred to Western Seattle Psychiatric Hospital when he became medically stable.





“Poor, John… he must have suffered so… That bastard has to pay, he has to be made to pay for the pain he’s caused us all.”





“Oh, Shawn…. they’re in terrible danger out there… and there’s no telling what John might do now. I’m so frightened for them.”







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





After lingering for a minute or so to take in the fresh morning air and enjoy the sounds of birds singing out a pleasant melody, Marlena turned and headed back into the cave to help with packing up for the day’s journey. When she reached the area where they’d slept, she was surprised to find John in a crouch, still wearing nothing more than a pair of boxer shorts. And he was shaking slightly with the chill of the morning air.





She cleared her throat and he looked up. “John, are you alright?”





John stood up tall and with a tight nod of the head, issued another command statement, “You have to leave now. I don’t know what I was thinking, lady, but you can’t go with me.”





It caught her completely off guard and she didn’t bother to hide her reaction, “What are you talking about? Of course I can go with you. You need me, John.”





He stepped into a pair of jeans and shrugged on a t-shirt, all the while continuing the conversation. “No, I don’t. You’re only going to slow me down. I want you to go back.”





It was vital for someone to be with him, she knew that, but he was stonewalling her. Did it have something to do with the flashback? She shook her head and argued the point, “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I’ve made a commitment.”





Standing near enough for her to feel the warmth of his breath, he almost laughed at her, his expression a sneer. “Oh, did you really…. to who… John Black, your Knight in shining armor? Is that what you thought was going to happen here, that he would win and I would lose? Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, lady, but the man is history. He’s not coming back to you. Not now and maybe not ever.”





“But I thought…..”





“You thought that was him…. didn’t you? All vulnerable…. nice and dependent on you to help me…. wasn’t I? And you thought I was him.” He laughed harshly when he saw the look on her face. She was shocked and she was frightened by the implications of his statement. The questions it raised made her head ache. If the mercenary could deceive her so, what good was she to the man she loved?





Now, she didn’t know what to believe. Marlena would have sworn that at least part of the time, John was the one she was dealing with, especially after the flashback.





This man had no patience. Grabbing her by the upper arms, he drew her close and demanded a reply “Answer me!”





“Yes, yes I did. I thought you were… my John.”





When he released her, it was like being shoved. “Well, I’m not. I’m nothing like him… and I *don’t* need you!”





But, even with the blatant hostility, there was something in his eyes that didn’t fit with his actions and the tone of his voice. Would her John lie to protect her? Would he send her away in a moment of clarity while pretending to be the mercenary, in order to keep her safe from harm? “John, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I want to be here with you, to help if I can.”





Softening fractionally, he said, “Look, I understand that you mean well, but you’re only going to slow me down. I have a job to do…. and I need to be focused, not worrying about how you’re going to keep up. So, I want you to turn around and go back down the mountain. Tell them I left you, tell them whatever you want, but go. You’ll be safe, and I’ll be free to do what I have to do.”





“Go after Stefano Dimera.” The cold hard look in his eyes sent chills down her spine. “You’re going to kill him, aren’t you?”





He nodded but said nothing further and turned away from her. She didn’t need to know the details. Fact was, the bastard deserved to die a painful lingering death after all the torture he’d inflicted. It was nature’s way of keeping things in balance.

 

She was just standing there watching him and it pissed him off. “Didn’t you hear me? I said, you’re not coming with me, now pack up and go!”





Crossing her arms in front of her body,

she shifted her weight and faced off with him, blocking his path to door of the cave. “No, I’m NOT leaving you!”



“Fine, then I’ll leave YOU!” In the very next moment, John slung his pack, including the rolled up sleeping bag, over his shoulder and stepped around her, taking off at a fast clip.





She rushed to get the rest of her things together, but he was way ahead of her by the time she finished and made it back out to the entrance of the cave where they’d spent the night. “John wait, please don’t leave me here!”





He heard her and tried to ignore the fear in her voice. “Please John, you have to help me, I don’t know how to get back!”





That did it, stopped him dead in his tracks. “Damn, should have known it would come to this!” Reluctantly, he turned around and headed back toward the cave.





She forced back a smile when she heard his approaching footsteps. He was stomping more than he was walking and she knew that although he was angry, she’d succeeded in appealing to his more gallant side, the one the mercenary wanted to pretend was never there at all.





“Alright, I’ll take you part of the way down and then you’ll have to make it back to the hospital on your own. Okay?”





“I guess I can live with that.”





John turned away from her and called over his shoulder, “Come on, follow me.”





She did what he said and they traversed the hills in silence for a long while, before she spoke to him. “John,” she started to say, but was cut off.





“Look, lady, I’m not John, not the one you want me to be, so why don’t you just give it a rest.”





“Okay, but first I want you to tell me something. What do you think is going to happen if you’re all alone out here?”





“What do you mean?”





“I mean… what happens to you if you don’t have a hostage?”





“I’ll get where I need to go and I’ll do what I have to do, without interference.”





“You’re that confident in your ability to evade the police, the FBI, and who knows what else?”





“Yep, I am… those clowns will never even get close to me.”





“So, you’ve had past experience with this sort of thing, have you?”





He laughed at her. The woman was a knock out and she had a tendency to grow on a guy, but she could also be irritating as hell. “Something like that, yea…. now let’s get moving. I can only take you about half a mile down and then I have to turn around.”





The more she looked into his eyes, the more uncertain she was about which personality she’d been dealing with in the past several hours. He seemed like the mercenary, but he was a little softer around the edges than he was at first. Maybe he was becoming more comfortable with her presence. But then why was he sending her away? Or maybe *that* was the reason, he didn’t want to be comfortable. Perhaps he thought it made him more vulnerable to John’s efforts to re-establish himself.





“Exactly what are you staring at, lady?”





“Nothing, I’m sorry, I was just… thinking.”





“Oh, don’t tell me, you want your version of John back and you think maybe you’ve reached him. Well, I’m sorry but he’s taking an early winter’s nap and there’s no telling when he’ll wake up, if ever. So, it looks like you’re out of luck. Might as well give it up.”





“I won’t do that. I made him a promise and I’m going to keep it.”





“Whatever, now… we’ve gone as far back down the mountain as I can afford to go, you’ll have to make it the rest of the way on your own. Do you think you can handle it?”





“I guess I’ll have to, won’t I?”





“Yep, guess you will. So, I’ll uh… well, good luck then…”





“You too… I guess. Stay safe out there.” Her heart was breaking, but she didn’t let it show. This man despised any sign of weakness, or at least what he perceived to be weakness, which differed greatly from her perspective.





“Hey, don’t worry about me, I can take care of myself just fine. I never needed anybody before and I’m not about to start now.”





“Yes, that’s what worries me the most.”





“It shouldn’t. John’s the one that..” He stopped mid-sentence and then said, “Oh, never mind.”





“No, tell me, what were you going to say?”





“Nothing.” He turned to go.





She grasped hold of his forearm, stopping his progress. “No, it’s not nothing, please tell me.”





“Alright, if you have to know, I was going to say that he’s the one who needs protecting. That’s why I’m here, so there’s no need for you to worry. I’ve got it covered.”





She searched his eyes while still holding on, looking again for some sign of the man she loved, but seeing none, she said, “Alright… then, please explain something to me. Why are you leading him straight into danger rather than letting him get the help he needs back at the hospital?”





He was shaking his head as he replied with what he thought was the obvious, “That place? Sorry, it wasn’t for us… it was no good there. Besides, we both know that the only real way of protecting him is to take Dimera out.”





So that was it. It all made sense now. Everything was about protecting John, the core personality. “No, that’s not true, the doctors and nurses, and the counselors, they were helping him.”





He scoffed at that and shook his head. “Whatever you say. Look, I have to go now.”





On impulse, she wrapped her arms around him briefly and whispered in his ear, “Please be careful.”





“Count on it, Doc….” he said with some tenderness just before he drew out of the embrace.





“Doc, you called me Doc,” she said, surprised by his use of that affectionate moniker, looking him straight in the eye.





John averted his gaze slightly and discounted it, “Yea, well don’t make anything of it. Doesn’t mean a thing.” With that, he turned and left her in a hurry, presumably shaken by the incident.





She stood there and watched him walk away, the wind whipping through his long dark hair, wishing she could really break through to the man she loved so deeply. Letting him go off alone was tantamount to torture for her, wondering what would happen to him in the wilderness of northern Washington and the southwestern Canadian province of British Columbia.





It wasn’t until she couldn’t see him anymore that she turned and headed down the mountain toward the hospital, praying for his safety with every step she took.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Staring out the window at the snow covered hills and mountains had a calming effect on his ragged nerves. Some good news would be better.





In another minute, his intercom was buzzing and the watcher got his wish. “Stefano, we picked up something on the radio frequency the cops are using. It looks like our man has sent the lady packing. Seems she was spotted on the mountainside heading back toward the nuthouse he escaped from.”





It was a mixed blessing. He’d wanted an opportunity to have her back and having John bring her to him was fitting. But, he needed to get to John and take control before the core personality was strong enough to fully reemerge. Now, it was clear that John was coming after him, apparently prepared to march into the wolf’s lair.





“Thank you, Bart… good work.”





“Now what, Boss?”





“Now, we wait for John to come to us.”





“You think he’s just going to waltz into your Canadian compound?”





“No, he’ll try to do it stealthily, but we’re going to be ready for him, aren’t we, Bart?”





“Yes, Sir, we’re on it.”





“Let me know when he’s within five miles of the perimeter.”





“Of course, Sir… we’ll give you regular updates,” the man said, wondering exactly how they would know he was coming.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Bo and Abe were heading by car, to get as close to the area where a woman fitting Marlena’s description had been spotted, as possible. They were tied in by radio to the choppers that had gone up. After they’d been driving for a few minutes, Bo asked, “So, what do you think happened?”





“I think he left her to go it alone.”





“Yea, that’d be my guess too. I hope he’s alright.”





“Bo, if it were John, I mean the John that we know, and he was coming back from whatever that bastard did to him, do you think he’d still go after Stefano alone like this?”





The younger man shrugged, thinking about it. “Yea, maybe…. Oh, I don’t know, Abe…. if he thought that was the only way to protect her in the long run, then yea.”





“Me too…. but if it’s the mercenary….”





“He’ll tear Dimera limb from limb without an ounce of remorse.”





“Right. That’s what worries me the most, because how would we ever prove that it wasn’t… our John who did it?”





Bo only nodded and concentrated on finding Marlena. Once they were assured she was safe from harm, they would go after their friend and try to stop him from committing murder. God only knew John had his fair share of reasons to want Stefano dead, and that for the terror he’d brought to their lives, they’d all wanted a piece of the sick bastard at one time or another.





As they pulled to a stop near the spot they expected to see her emerge from the tree line, the radio crackled to life, breaking the silence that had settled over the pair of cops from Salem, Illinois. It was one of the FBI agents in the chopper above them. “Damn! We lost her, she should have made that clearing by now.”





Abe looked at Bo who nodded and smiled. Despite his concern for her safety, Abe shook his head and had to smile too. Marlena never was one to give up easily, or let the man she loved go charging into danger all alone, not if she had anything to say about it.

Damn it was cold for summer. He hadn’t taken the altitude into account and the brisk wind chilled him to the bone.





Trudging uphill, the mercenary finally became fully aware that he had to get hold of a vehicle. Trying to make his way to Dimera’s compound on foot was foolhardy, a journey engendered by the combination of his intense need to escape and a hot headed desire to exact revenge. Logically, he now realized it was much too far to travel that way. Having purchased both a topographical map and a road map when they went to the outdoor store in Seattle, he studied them for a few minutes and then went off toward a spot that indicated a road had been carved into the mountainside.





About a mile or so down the trail, he was getting close to the road when he saw a Jeep with no one in it. And then his eyes inadvertently landed on a guy relieving himself in the woods. John smiled. It was the perfect opportunity. And better yet, there was a handgun lying in plain site on the front seat.





Knowing the man was not expecting anyone to be coming around on foot, John sneaked up behind him and cocked the gun. Then he waited. The man tensed and put out his arms.





“Zip up your fly, wouldn’t want you to catch cold, or anything.”





The man complied, not saying anything, but obviously squelching a whimper.





John laughed. “Good, you’re scared. You should be. Here’s how it works. I’m going to take your Jeep, and you have exactly three choices. You can die instantly by the bullet, I can wound you and you can die slowly out here in the wilderness, or you can get inside that Jeep and drive it where I want to go while I hold a gun to your head.”





The guy started to tremble but he still didn’t say anything. Quickly becoming frustrated with the wimp, John grabbed him by the shoulders and whipped him around so they were facing each other. “You didn’t answer me, what’s it going to be?”





“I… uh, I’ll drive… I’ll take you wherever you want to go. Please just…”





Scoffing, John interrupted the man’s plea, “Don’t hurt you, yea, yea, yea…. I won’t unless you give me reason to, you got that?” John said, pointing the gun in the man’s face to make his point more decisively.





“Yes, I’ve got it,” the man said, a mechanically calm tone to his voice.





“Alright then, get in,” John said forcefully, giving the man a healthy shove toward the driver’s side door.





Within minutes they were headed down into a valley, where there was a nice sized town. Surely, there would be a place that would serve his purposes. Satisfied, John surveyed a property on the outskirts that looked promising. “Pull in next to that barn over there,” he said, pointing to a slightly broken down building that looked like it was still in use, at least for storage purposes.





The man swallowed hard, but to his credit, he didn’t say or do anything to indicate that he was frightened. “Okay, pull to a stop on the left side of it, right there,” John pointed. Again, the driver did exactly as he was told to do. When they came to a stop, he put the vehicle in park and took his hands off the wheel, keeping them in plain sight.





“Now, I want you to get out. Get out very slowly. No false moves or you’re a dead man. You understand?”





Nodding anxiously, the victim said, “Yes, I understand.” By now, the guy was shaking all over the place but he still never said anything or cried out. John admired him for that at least. “You’re scared aren’t you?”





“Yes, yes I am,” the man answered honestly. “I have a wife and kids waiting for me at home,” he said hoping it would make a difference.





“You think I’m gonna kill you,” John said, stating a fact. He gave a clear signal to get out of the Jeep and head toward the barn itself. Hearing about the wife and kids stirred something inside him, leaving him dangerously unsettled, and his gun hand started to shake.





When they’d stepped inside the door, the unarmed man asked his own question, “Are you? Going to kill me, I mean ? “





“No, not if I don’t have to. Do I have to?”





The guy shook his head, “No, Sir… I’ll never tell a soul that I’ve seen you. I swear, if you let me live, I’ll throw the hounds off the trail.”





Searching the other man’s slightly hidden eyes, John saw that the man wasn’t begging, but bargaining. “Fair enough, but know this. If you cross me, if I find out that you told the cops about this little incident, you’re a dead man. I’ll hunt you down and I *will* kill you, and believe me buddy, it won’t be quick *or* painless.”





“You’ve got nothing to worry about, mister. I’ll say I never got a good look at the guy who stole my truck. You can even hit me on the back of the head to knock me out so they’ll believe my story.”





“Alright, it sounds good to me. Turn around,” John commanded, not wanting to waste any more time.





The man hesitated, still wondering if the angry man with the gun would kill him right here and now. “Do it, buddy, you turn around right now.”





“Okay, okay, I will,” he said, his voice slightly tremulous. A second later, he felt a harsh blow that knocked him into a state of oblivion.





Satisfied that the man was out cold, John turned and exited the barn.





As he was climbing into the other man’s Jeep, the thought occurred to him that he normally would have just shot the guy. For the life of him he couldn’t figure out why he didn’t this time. Shrugging it off, he put the Jeep in gear and drove off as quietly as possible, hoping no one at the house would discover their uninvited guest for several more hours, time enough for him to get a good lead on the cops.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`





The two Salem cops sat in their rented car and stared into the copse of trees, waiting but knowing what had happened. Finally, Abe broke the silence. “Well, I’ll be damned, she turned around and went back after him!” Abe said with a tone that smacked of pride.





It made Bo feel something similar himself. “It’s just like her, Abe, you gotta admit that. Marlena’s not one to sit around and wait. She knows that no matter what the mercenary tells her, John is in trouble and she wants to be there to help him.”





“I realize that and I do admire her courage. I just wish she’d let us in on it, instead of traipsing off into the wilderness alone. Who knows what could happen to her out there, Bo!”





“I know, I know, you’re right. We need to find her and soon,” Bo said, trying to force down the fear for her safety. “Well, what do you think  we should do?”





“I think we need to set off on foot after her. She can’t be traveling that fast.”





“I suppose you’re right. Good thing we both bought some hiking shoes before coming up here.”





“Right, so what are we waiting for, time’s wasting.”





They didn’t say anything else, choosing instead to focus on getting ready for a hike in the hills above Seattle, and a search for two good friends who were in grave danger, whether they both realized it or not.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





She woke up with a jolt, the heavy vehicle coming to a very rough halt on what had to be a gravel road. ‘What in the world is that man doing now?’ the hidden passenger was silently asking. She tried to raise her head so she could peer over the back of the seat in front of her, but she was too tired and weak. Her body was trembling and she realized that something was drastically wrong with her. Noting that was all she had the energy to do. The woman faded out just before the driver uttered an expletive to express his frustration at having come to what appeared to be yet another dead end.





“Damn!”





That one was louder and it woke her up completely. Marlena blinked the sleepiness out of her eyes and tried to remember where she was and whose voice it was she was hearing just now. Suddenly, it came to her and she shrieked, “John!”





The driver was so startled that he jerked upwards in the seat and clunked his head on the ceiling of the sport utility vehicle. And then he repeated his last word, “Damn!” just before he put the thing in park and turned around.





“Oh, man…” he groaned, while rubbing at the spot on the top of his head. Striving to settle his breathing and slow his racing heart, he said with a tone of irritation, “What in the hell are *you* doing here?”





“I’m going with you, wherever you go, I go!” she said with more energy and conviction than she actually felt. She was so weak and tired and she couldn’t figure out why. It hadn’t been that rough so far.





He shook his head to clear it a bit and turned all the way around to face her, angry frustration flashing in his navy blue eyes. “No, no way, Doctor, we’ve been through this already. You are *not* going with me.”





“Why, give me one good reason,” she said, undaunted by his bluster.





“I’ll do better than that, I’ll give you three. It’s too dangerous, you’ll only slow me down, and… ” He paused, thinking that saying the last one would only fuel the fire.





“And…. what, John, what else?”





“Because you’re a… a woman,” he said softening his voice, suddenly feeling flush, and like he couldn’t look at her to see her reaction.





For reasons she didn’t understand, it made her smile to see him ill at ease for once. “Yes, yes I am…but what’s that got to do with anything?” she said, leaning over the edge of the seat back.





“Everything. It’s just not right… you should be home, safe and warm somewhere, not…here,” he said, still not looking at her.





“Not out gallivanting in the woods with an overgrown Eagle Scout, you mean?”





“Eagle scout… ha, oh yea that’s a good one. Lady, you gotta know by now that I’m about as far from that as a man could possibly be. And there’s another reason for you, right there,” he said pointing a finger in the air.





“What, I shouldn’t be with you because you’re a bad boy.. Is that it?” she teased.





He couldn’t help but chuckle and admire her tenacity. “Yea, right, that’s it, I’m danger personified and you don’t belong in harm’s way. I have a score to settle and it has nothing to do with you.”





“Well, then you’ve got a problem on your hands because I’m not leaving, and I don’t think you have the heart to throw me out in the cold night air.” She sat on her haunches with her arms crossed in front of her body, looking as immovable as a statue.





He let out a discomfited sigh, shook his head, and said, “Something tells me I’m going to live to regret this decision. Okay, you can stay, but only on one condition.”





“Name it,” she said, eagerly, pleased to see that he was loosening up a bit. He seemed more like the man she knew, the man who loved her beyond words.





“You do everything exactly the way I say it, when I say to do it, you got that?” His eyes willed her to agree.





“Got it,” she said firmly enough to satisfy him that she was being serious. She had half a suspicion he was going to change up on her later, but this was good enough for the moment.





“Alright then, go back to sleep now, you’ll need the rest.” That she had no argument with, complying without even bothering to respond. She was exhausted and settled down under the blanket in the rear compartment of the oversized vehicle, hugging the pillow with her arms. As the Jeep started to move again, there was something gnawing at her, important information that a part of her knew she should have told him. But the pull of slumber was too strong and she dropped off to sleep in a matter of seconds.







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





The room was a little on the small side for a meeting of so many professionals, one wall consisted of windows, which offered a spectacular view of the mountains. The place was mostly used for spotting forest fires. ‘We’re in the roughest season of the year for fires up here, same with Canada,’ Bo was thinking, remembering what one of the more friendly local cops had said about it. ‘Funny, it kinda looks like rain.’





Bo Brady was staring out the window of the ranger station at mile after mile of thick forested land, thinking about how vast the wilderness of North America really was. And therefore, how difficult it was going to be to find and rescue someone who was on a mission of vengeance and didn’t want to be found. Someone who didn’t believe or, more accurately, didn’t realize that he *needed* rescuing. Searching on foot for Marlena had proved fruitless and here they were waiting around doing basically nothing until some kind of lead came through.





“So, where do you think they’re headed?” Bo asked quietly of his friend, partner, and boss.





“I don’t know…to one of Dimera’s compounds, I’d guess,” Abe answered absently, joining his friend at the windows and praying they could find the couple before it was too late.





“Yea, you and me both, but where, which one?” asked Bo, becoming increasingly frustrated with the lack of leads. The rain was bad enough, but now it was well into the late afternoon and nightfall would soon be upon them, further slowing their efforts.





A throat cleared and they looked up. “I think I know,” said one of the FBI men who’d been studying a bunch of maps for what had to be hours. The room was suddenly quiet, each man prepared to listen to what the agent planned to say.





“Where?” came a chorus of voices.





“Well, from the documents I managed to get a hold of through some informants and a good buddy of mine from the DEA who recently moved out here from DC, and the help of these maps, I’d say they’re headed somewhere north of here. It seems there is a large piece property up in British Columbia that has recently changed hands, part of some kind of corporate merger. All very secretive. Anybody want to lay odds on who picked up what used to be known as the Cameron Estate?”





“Don’t tell me,” Bo said, coming away from the windows to look at the map. “Stefano Dimera.”





“Give the man a prize,” the agent said, smiling proudly. It had taken many hours of plowing through records that sent him in a dozen different directions.





“So, what are you waiting for Jackson? Show us already,” urged one of the other agents who had been hoping to nail Stefano Dimera to the wall for years.





“Alright, alright…. it’s right there,” Jeff said, pointing to a spot on the map. He took a sip of coffee and relaxed.





All of the men gathered around, shaking their heads in amazement, as Abe Carver uttered the words they’d all been thinking when they looked down at the wide expanse of territory depicted on the map. ” Stefano Dimera owns an mansion at Hell’s Gate. How fitting.”





Abe and Bo studied it intensely, jotting down all the details of the location. They gazed up at each other and the thoughts that last comment had stimulated in their minds, continued to go unspoken. But their eyes exchanged a message. If John and Marlena, who they now hoped was with him, did manage to evade the authorities and make it all the way to the Canadian compound to confront Stefano, there would be one kind of hell or another to pay. For all of them.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





It was late summer, but the elevation was increasing and an early evening rain could put a real chill into your bones. Stopping for coffee, the driver of the Jeep checked on his passenger. She was sleeping peacefully. ‘Good, that makes things a lot easier,’ John thought as he passed her by to step into the cash and carry.





It was less than an hour later, when he decided he too needed to get some shut eye; he pulled off the highway and went down a secluded lane. Once he figured that the vehicle was fairly well hidden behind a copse of trees, he began to relax. With one quick glance toward the rear of the vehicle, John closed his eyes and faded into a dreamless sleep.





His much needed rest was interrupted not long afterward by the sound of someone moaning. He sat bolt upright and listened, then heard it again. A rush of fear coursed through his belly and he practically vaulted over the seat to get to her. It was an instinctive reaction he didn’t question in the moment.





Worried, he put his hand to the sleeping woman’s forehead to check if it was warm. It wasn’t just warm, it was fiery hot. She had to be running a high temp, which meant the woman was probably very sick at the moment. And he didn’t think they were nowhere near a place to get medical attention. “Oh no…. no, this can’t be happening. Lady, I thought you said you were tough.”





She moaned again and managed to say, “Am tough… just a little…tired.”





He marveled at her ability to take whatever life threw at her, pursuing her convictions regardless of whatever personal cost might result. Before he knew it, her eyes slid shut and she was out again. With lean fingers, he gently moved a lock of hair that had fallen down over her eyebrows, truly looking at her for the first time since their adventure began. “Well, pretty doctor lady… you’ve been there for John and me.  I guess the least we can do now is…. take care of you.”





With that, he pulled out a map he’d found in the glove compartment, perused it carefully, and then headed for the nearest place that looked big enough to have a hospital. She needed help and she was going to get it. Driving a little too fast for the road conditions, he soon found himself fighting the idea of dropping her off near an ER entrance and leaving her there to be cared for, while he went off to pay the Old Man one last visit. If it came to that, he’d do it, but it wouldn’t be his first choice.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





The special agent in charge cleared his throat loudly, then banged on a desk with an empty ceramic coffee mug. “Everybody, listen up. We’re running out of time here. Are there any new leads on how they’re traveling? Anything at all? “





“Yea, yea, I think I got a live one here, Jack. Hold on just one minute,” said Sam Taylor, one of the local cops on the case, holding a hand in the air for the gathering of men to be quiet.





A hush fell over the room as they watched the man listening to what was being said. “Great, can you play the tape over the speakerphone. We have a whole lot of law enforcement types here who are just itching to have a place to start searching again.”





Less than a minute later, that was exactly what was happening. They were hearing the interview one of the county sheriff’s deputies conducted with a man who had been hit over the head, and who reported his Jeep Grand Cherokee had been stolen from him by whomever it was that hit him. A man he never saw.





“I don’t buy that stuff about how he didn’t see the guy,” Bo said, while they were still listening.





“Yea, I think you’re right, Bo, he’s lying because he’s scared the mercenary will hunt him down if he talks.”





“It’s John, I know it is..”





“I’d be willing to bet on it,” Abe agreed.





“Yea, and the good news is he didn’t kill the guy. Maybe having Marlena with him is a good thing after all, Abe,” Bo said, hoping the same held true from her perspective. Abe nodded, entertaining the very same thought.





“Alright then, let’s pick two different routes going north and talk to each other by cell phone.”





“Great idea, Abe… I’ll take the 547 and you take I 5.”





“Deal. Meet you outside in ten minutes.”





“Sure thing. I’m going to give a quick call home to update Mom and Pop. I’ll let them tell everybody else.”





“Good plan,” Abe said, as he headed off to do the exact same thing. Lexie would be worried.





But the call had to be short one, because at best guess it wasn’t much more than 150 miles from Seattle to Hell’s Gate. Even with the mountainous conditions and the unexpected rain storm, that wasn’t very far now that their quarry had a motor vehicle. John could be there before they even got close. It might even be over and done with by the time they reached the place. With the heavy rain, the choppers weren’t going to be in the air any time soon, so it was pursuit by auto, running fast with lights flashing, no sirens.





The highway patrol was out in force and border patrol was on alert, but every good cop knew there were ways to get in and out of Canada without going through a checkpoint. And if they’d thought of it, it was a sure bet the mercenary had too.

The owner of the expansive Canadian estate was reading from a favorite passage when one of his underlings knocked and then peeked around the edge of the door.





“Please, come in… do you have some news for me?”





The man nodded affirmatively. “They’re on their way, Stefano. Another hour or so is all.”





“Excellent… is everything prepared for our guests?” he asked, grinning malevolently.





“Yes, Sir, Mr. Dimera.  Everything is exactly as you specified,” said the manservant, almost chuckling as he thought about what lay in store for the couple that was coming unannounced. He let himself out of the room without another word to his master.





“So, John…. you have remembered your training. This is good news,” Stefano Dimera said to himself, smiling in anticipation of what was to come. “And the fair Marlena…she is a bonus.”





Another knock upon the door interrupted his reverie and he sounded as irritated as he felt. “Yes, what is it!” He looked up to see his professor.





“Well, Sir… I just wanted to check in with you. From the chatter I’ve picked up on the police bands and a few other sources, it appears that my predictions have proven correct. John Black is a man with a fractured mind, one part mercenary, another part loving husband and father, and still another a wounded young child.”





“And which one seems to have the most control at this point, Rolf?” he asked belying no trace of the genuine concern that caught him by surprise. It was that last part, about the child that had gotten to him, bringing back memories of the early years. He hadn’t meant to be so harsh with the boy, but he’d pushed all of Stefano’s buttons.





“The mercenary, Sir… and he is a force to be reckoned with, of that you can be certain.”




“Excellent… thank you, Rolf, that will be all.” He said it in a way that gave his underling no choice in the matter. Dimera wanted to be alone to further devise his strategy.





This was what he’d wanted all along, the mercenary back in his hands, and those incredible, almost superhuman abilities at his master/creator’s disposal.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~







Stopping for a minute at the side of the road, the mercenary reached behind him to the back seat, put a hand to his passenger’s forehead and immediately let out a quiet gasp. She was still so hot. What could he do but take her to the hospital? He wasn’t a doctor and certainly not a nursemaid, so what choice did he really have? With a heavy sigh, embodying a myriad of emotions he didn’t fully understand, John drove off toward the nearest hospital, following the road signs to its location a few miles off of the I-4.





As he approached the emergency room entrance, he scanned the area for a wheelchair and found one just outside the main ER doors. He carried her to it, sat her in it and yelled for help. In a matter of moments, some nurses came and placed her on a gurney, wheeling her inside an examining room almost immediately. John watched as the men and women worked as a team to take care of their charge, regretting that he had to leave her there. But it was truly the only move he knew to make at this point in the game. He had to go after Dimera, and although he wasn’t quite sure what he would face when he found the man, the mercenary knew that where he was heading was no place for a woman like Marlena.





Glancing through the rectangular window at her still form, he offered a soft apology she would never hear, “I’m sorry about this, pretty lady, but it’s the only way. I have to find that bastard and make him pay for what he’s done, for all the pain he’s caused.” John slipped out without ever being seen, into the night and back to the vehicle he’d commandeered.





In less than an hour’s time, he was across the border and into Canada, a few miles from his destination. He planned to hike in the rest of the way. After grabbing a water bottle and checking to make sure the clip had been properly inserted into the gun he’d taken from the truck’s owner, John tucked it in his belt and was on his way.





Already visible on the video monitors, Stefano was observing John Black’s stealthy approach to Hell’s Gate with admiration, when an unwanted intrusion interrupted him.





“Now that takes guts, and stupidity too, uh… if you don’t mind me saying so, Sir.”





“Bart, what are you doing here?”





“Same thing as you, Sir, watching Merc Man tryin’ to sneak up on the great Stefano Dimera.”





He chuckled, admitting to himself that the imbecile had a good sense of comedic timing, which was the only reason he let the man live. Stefano simply shook his head and said, “Alright then, now please go and make yourself useful. I’m sure there is something you can do to help plan for John’s arrival. “





Taking the hint, Bart nodded and replied crisply, with respect, “Yes Sir, right away, Sir!”





Stefano turned his attention back toward the monitors, thinking that in this case the idiot was right. It was foolhardy for John to come in this way, believing that he stood a chance in hell of getting back at his Master. So, the mercenary was returning to the fold voluntarily, knowing that he would be punished for leaving, knowing that he would suffer great pain for his disobedience. Why? What kind of bargain did he dare hope to strike?





Then it hit him that Marlena was no longer at John’s side. What did that mean? Had she rejected him, and so now he felt he had nowhere else to go, nothing to lose? Maybe he didn’t care if he were killed trying to take out the man who had caused him such agony in life. Was John Black on a suicide mission or a mission of vengeance? Stefano had questions that needed answers and smiled on the thought of how he would learn those answers.







She woke up in the hospital, staring up from her place in bed at two familiar faces. One of them smiled and spoke to her, “Hey, Marlena…how are you feeling?”





Sitting bolt upright, she scanned her environment and let out a sad sigh. “He’s not here, is he?”





“No, I’m sorry… he isn’t,” replied Bo Brady, who sat on the edge of the bed.





Her face showed her disappointment. “He left me… he said he wouldn’t…”





Abe tried to make her understand, “Marlena… you were very sick, with a fever of 103… to his credit, he took you where you’d get the care you needed.”





Taking note of the hospital gown she was wearing, she nodded and said, “I suppose you’re right… but what about the care he needs? Abe… Bo… he’s in trouble…John is in serious trouble.”





“We know… he killed that patient and now he’s on the run… “





“No, not that… that was an accident…a terrible….accident. I mean… John… he’s sick, he’s suffering from Dissociative Disorder… he’s…”





“We know that too… we talked to your colleague. We were all worried about you… about your safety with him. Did he… hurt you?”





She shook her head and negated that idea completely, “No… no, he didn’t. But, I think that he was…”





“What, Marlena?”





Her face bore a studious expression, like she was still trying to make sense of it. “Well, the truth is, I’m not sure who I was with half the time. Sometimes, he seemed very much like the John I remember and other times he was the mercenary. And a couple of times…he was a little boy. But I think we were coming to…an understanding.”





“An understanding, what do you mean?”





“Well, he was fighting… inside himself and there were these moments where I feel like I reached John… and he was able to…somehow merge with the mercenary. Oh, I know that probably doesn’t make any sense.”





“No, it does… at least I think it does. Are you saying that you were able to see John in the mercenary?”





It was such a bizarre situation; she had to think of just how to phrase it. “Yes, the mercenary is protecting John…because he was so traumatized by what Stefano did to him, and at the same time, he resents that John is the core personality, so there’s a battle going on inside. And John, well, he was trying to come through to protect me.”





“From the mercenary?”





“Yes…that’s strange, isn’t it?”





“That’s the understatement of the year. This whole thing is strange…hard to take it all in,” Bo said, feeling more confused by the minute.





“Marlena… do you…is he….” Abe stopped talking and sighed in exasperation, unable to put his concerns into words.





She waited patiently for a moment and then voiced it for all of them. “Abe, are you asking me if he’s ever going to be the John we knew before he was held hostage this last time?”





Her friends both nodded and she let out a weary, fearful sigh and said, “Oh, gosh I hope so, but I honestly don’t know… so much of it depends on what happens next…with Stefano.”





“Marlena, try not to worry too much. Right before you turned up here, we figured out where Stefano’s compound is and we have men on the way. They should get there very shortly after John does.”





She wondered if all of that would be enough. She was worried about what the mercenary would try to do and what would happen to John in the process. After all, it was his body and the police might find it necessary to fire upon him at some point. “Bo, Abe….we have to go to him…” she said, suddenly frightened for the man she loved. She turned her body to the side and moved as if to climb out of the bed.







Abe tried to stop her before she put a foot on the floor. “Marlena, it’s too late, we’ll never make it up there in time to stop whatever is already set in motion.  Besides, you need to stay here and get some rest. You’ve got a bad case of the flu.”





Shaking her head, she brushed his concern aside. “I don’t care… we have to be there for him. Now, please….Bo…find me my clothes. Abe, please go and get the doctor, I’m leaving here, and with or without help, I’m going to go to my husband.”





The two men simply stared at each other, dumbfounded. This woman was formidable and she would not be dissuaded. “Alright, Marlena, we’ll take you.”









Even though his heart was filled with vengeful rage, John Black had to laugh at the sign, ‘Now entering Hell’s Gate.’ Only Stefano Dimera would aspire to own an estate in a place such as that. Well, it did fit, as for all intents and purposes, Stefano was the devil’s right hand man.





Stefano watched with fascination as his former mercenary made his way across the grounds, taking out guard after guard, without the use of a weapon. John was skilled beyond belief, but he could be controlled—and in fact needed to be controlled in order to function at peak efficiency. Stefano knew that he had to reassert himself as the man’s master, and then John would once again do his bidding.





He was watching the monitors and thought he was staring at a live image, but learned that he had been fooled when he looked up at a sound, which turned out to be the man himself. “Ah, John…you managed to catch me by surprise..”





“Yes, I did,” he said, leveling the gun on the man he hated above all else. “And it feels damn good, Stefano. Didn’t think I could sneak up on you, did you?”





“No, I did not, I guess I underestimated your abilities to overcome all the surveillance.  You have proven yourself once again. Nevertheless, I am glad you have come back to me, we have much work to do, John.”





“Ha..in case you didn’t notice, I’m holding a gun on you, Stefano. I’m not here to join your dark army. I’m here to put an end to it…and you. I’m going to take you out, Dimera…something I should have done a long time ago.”





“Oh, I see…and just how do you think you can get off these grounds after you’ve finished with me?” Stefano said, making a sweeping gesture indicating the vast expanse of his estate and the number of others under his employ.





“Don’t care. At least you won’t be able to hurt anybody else. The way I figure it, if I get away, that’s a bonus.”





“Well, then let’s get on with it, shall we? Shoot me, John… shoot me dead and your suffering will be over. Isn’t that what you believe?” Stefano asked, spreading his arms open wide.





He pointed the gun and held on even more firmly, his hand shaking slightly. “Yes…”





“You’re wrong, John….if you shoot me down, your suffering will never end.”





He narrowed his gaze. “What in the hell are you talking about, Old Man?”





“There are triggers, John….triggers in your mind that will cause you pain you can’t even begin to imagine. Triggers that will be tripped if you kill me.”





The mercenary shook his head. “You’re lying.”





“Do you want to test out my assertion? I can give you a taste of it without causing any permanent damage.”





He couldn’t allow himself to entertain the notion. Stefano had to be lying to him; to cause him even a moment’s hesitation, might be enough time for some more of Dimera’s goons to figure out what was happening and show up in the den.





Again, John shook his head. “No way I’m falling for that old line, Dimera…”





“I will show you, John. Hit me….slap me on the cheek.”





John was leery but he welcomed the opportunity to smack the man across the face like he’d been hit so many times. “Okay, what the hell,” he said just before he hauled off and slapped his former master.





Stefano winced and let out a hissing sound that told John there would come a time when he would pay dearly for hitting his boss so hard.





“Alright now, John…think back in time…remember your training, let your mind bring all of those memories back to you, let them rise up from deep within…” Stefano was speaking in hypnotic tones John could not resist, his mind responding as it was so well trained to do.





Suddenly, there was piercing pain in his head that went all the way down the length of his spine, nearly paralyzing him it was so intense. It took his breath away, but he uttered a strangled cry nonetheless and nearly fell to the ground. “Oh..” his left hand moving instinctively toward the source of the pain.





“Remember John, what happens….when you try to harm the master trainer…remember, John…”





The pain grew worse with each passing second and the gun dropped from his hand as fiery waves of pain tore through his extremities. “AH… God, stop…stop!”





“Now, John… come back to the present… remembering what you have just learned and especially what you have felt in your body…you will feel this pain and more if you ever try to harm me again. This lesson will be with you always, John… open your eyes now, John and you will be back here in this room with me.”





In seconds, the suffering was nearly gone and he was able to focus. When he did, he quickly noticed that Stefano had divested him of the gun with very little effort. He sighed with a weariness that went beyond the power of words but said nothing, then slowly sank to his knees involuntarily, his head falling toward his chest.





“You see, John… you cannot ever truly escape from me. You will always be my pawn, your mind and body under my control whenever I choose it to be so. You cannot kill me.”





His head went backward for a moment as if seeking out the help of the gods and then he let out a cry of desperate agony, much like an animal that knows it is soon to die at the hands of a stronger male. “AHHH!”





“Yes, yes….bow to me, John… bow down to me now. Bow to the Master Creator. I am the giver and taker of life, your beginning and your end. You are NOTHING without me!!”





He started to do as he was ordered to do. To surrender to this man’s will was painful, but if he fought, he would suffer pain beyond imagining. “No NEVER! I’ll NEVER bow down to you, you sick BASTARD!!” he said, swiftly rising to his feet.





The blow came out of nowhere, a vicious backhanded slap that felled him instantly, landing him flat on his back and staring at manufactured stars. A face suddenly appeared in his line of sight. “I am your Master, John….you must never forget that one essential truth. I am your Lord and Master. “





He was barely conscious and his mind responded to the deeply buried messages. “Lord and Master….yes.. I must obey my Master,” he said, peering up at the man out of bleary eyes.





“Very good, John… you’re remembering again. “





“Yes, I remember…..I remember…everything,” he said as he drifted off into the shadows of darkness.

Just as an unconscious and badly beaten John Black was being strapped into the chair where the tortuous brainwashing process was to begin anew, there was enormous crash and Stefano looked out the front windows of his mansion to find out what it was. He simply couldn’t believe his eyes and ears. The place was being invaded by law enforcement professionals, the first time such an event had ever taken place while he was actually in one of his compounds.


  
He had only seconds to make a decision about whether to exit through the tunnel system. He glanced out the window and caught of glimpse of golden hair. “Well, John…. it appears that you have been saved by the bell….and what a beautiful belle she is….” he said to himself as he rushed to the secret entrance in his den. “We shall live to fight another day,” he said to the air around him.


  
Just as he was stepping into the tunnels, he heard the sound of a man speaking through a megaphone, “Stefano Dimera… you are completely surrounded. There is no hope of escape. Come out with your hands in the air! If you do not give yourself up, you will be fired upon.”


  
All he heard after he shut the door was the triumphant sound of his own laughter echoing along the walls as he made his escape.


  
Less than two minutes later, the Canadian police, FBI, ATF, and CIA, and dozens of other authorities were breaking down every door in the place, hoping to find the master of the mansion and take him alive. They all wanted to see Stefano Dimera stand trial and be convicted of his crimes and finally, once and for all time, be held responsible for the pain and suffering he had inflicted on so many good people.


  
Within fifteen minutes, they had scoured the house and the grounds, finding no trace of the man, just his minions. “Where is he? Dammit, Abe, where is he!” Bo Brady was yelling, angrier than he ever remembered being in his life.


  
“I think we have to consider the possibility that he was never here, Bo,” Abe said sadly.


  
“No, he was here… I know he was here. I can feel that slimy bastard’s presence.”


  
“Alright… we’ll let the other guys work on finding him. I’m worried about John right now. He’s got to be here someplace, doesn’t he?” Abe was asking his friend, not really expecting an answer. Bo only shrugged and shook his head with uncertainty.


  
At that exact moment, Marlena came rushing in, breaking free of the two sets of arms that were supposed to be holding her back. “Where is he, Abe… where is John?” she asked, looking frantically around her for any sign of the man she loved.


  
“We haven’t found him yet…”


  
“What… he’s got to be here somewhere, I know he is… he has to be!”


  
“Marlena… please, try to calm down… if he’s here, we’ll find him.”


  
Panic seized her heart. “If he’s here… what are you saying to me?”


  
Bo exchanged glances with Abe, offering to help. Abe nodded and Bo spoke to their worried friend, “Marlena… he’s trying to say that Stefano hasn’t been found either, so there’s a chance that John left after he figured out that Stefano wasn’t here.”


  
Her heart sank as another possibility came to mind, “Or maybe Stefano took him,” she muttered to herself. If he wasn’t here, then where was he? The idea of what could happen to him in his troubled state of mind, was a worrisome thought. “Oh, John… my love…if you’re here… speak to me… call out to me with your heart and I’ll find you. I’ll find you.”


  
Two floors below, John was in a rapidly worsening state, his injuries more severe than the men who had inflicted them could know. His breathing was badly compromised because they’d broken some ribs, one of which punctured a lung while they were in the process of moving him into position. His nose was broken and bleeding and that situation combined with the duct tape they’d put over his mouth to keep him from yelling was enough to prevent him from getting enough oxygen. The pain and the injury to his nose caused him to take shallow breaths and it wouldn’t be long before his oxygen saturation rate went dangerously low. In his mind, he thought his only chance was to cry out in spirit. ‘Doc…. Doc…I’m here… I’m here… please find me…’


  
Marlena suddenly felt a pain in her chest. “John… oh, John….” she stopped for a minute, closing her eyes, trying to discern what she was feeling. “Abe… he’s here… he’s hurt… he’s in trouble, oh, Abe we have to find him, we have to find him right away.”


  
“What, Marlena… how could you…know that?”


  
She shivered with terror, but she knew it was their Soulmate connection, “Because I felt him….he can’t breathe, Abe… oh, we have to hurry… he can’t breathe!”


  
Before Abe or Bo could make any sense out of what she was telling them, she slumped in and collapsed in Bo’s arms, as if it were she who couldn’t breathe.


  
It was only a few seconds later, they heard some yelling through a walkie-talkie, “Down here… I think I found something… a room.”


  
Bo spoke to one of the uniformed officers who was standing nearby. “Take care of her, would ya.. I have to find out what’s going on.”


  
The young man nodded and stood guard over the pretty lady who now seemed to be resting peacefully on the carpeted floor of the living room where the group of three had been standing moments before.


  
There were four men working on a door when Abe and Bo arrived at the spot. Bo issued a command, “Get back!” and then proceeded to shoot the door to pieces. It took every bullet in his clip, but the door frame itself was destroyed and the door crept open to reveal an awful scene.


  
Abe was the first to speak, exclaiming, “Oh my God…” John’s back was arched in a way that didn’t seem possible for a human being, but it was because he was literally starving for oxygen.


  
One of the first men to arrive rushed across the room and ripped the tape off of John’s mouth, eliciting a groan. And then he was arching again, wheezing.


  
Suddenly Marlena entered the room and took charge of the situation. “Get him off of that thing! And someone get the paramedics down here, now!” People started to move in response to her commanding presence.


  
They cut the straps that bound him and they gently lifted John and placed him on the floor. His breathing was erratic and she surmised what was happening, “Oh, my God… I think he’s got a punctured lung. Those bastards must have broken some ribs… Oh, John…come on baby, come on….you’re going to make it.”


  
It seemed like forever before the EMT’s arrived and were at least able to give John some oxygen. Talking to each other, one of them said, “Decreased breath sounds on the right. I think we’ve got a tension pneumo, here…”


  
The other nodded. “Yea, we have to relieve this pressure.”


  
Marlena knew what they were talking about but she’d never had to deal with it in someone she loved. “Oh, God… please help him.”


  
“Damn, he’s going cyanotic on us, Tommy…come on, hurry up with that tube…”


  
After interminable minutes, they had managed to relieve the pressure and John was breathing somewhat more steadily on oxygen. “Okay, we can pack him up now,” said the first medic.


  
Marlena was about as anxious as she remembered being in a long time and she breathed a tremendous sigh of relief when she saw him start to pink up again, “Oh, thank God…”


  
“Marlena, is he going to be okay, he still doesn’t look so good,” Bo said as carefully as possible.


  
“He’s pretty banged up, but yes… he’s probably going to be okay. They’re taking care of the most serious problem, his punctured lung. We have to get him to the hospital immediately for further treatment, but with any luck he should be alright.”


  
“Oh, good…you ride with him and we’ll follow in a little while. We need to find out what’s going on with Stefano and his people.”


  
“Alright… but please be careful you two,” she said, wishing the man would just die and put them all out of his misery.


  
“Don’t worry, Marlena… you just take good care of John… and let him know we’re going after that bastard Dimera…that’s bound to lift his spirits some.”


  
“Yes, I’m sure it will,” she said, starting to worry about him again.


  
“Marlena… before you know it, he’ll be wanting to join us in the hunt.” Abe winced when he saw the expression on her face, instantly realizing that he’d made a mistake.


  
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m afraid of, Abe and I’ll try to convince the doctors to sedate him for that very reason.”


  
The other two laughed about it and then headed out the door.


    

  
Two hours later, Marlena was sitting at John’s bedside, watching him sleep and thanking her lucky stars that the man she loved was doing much better than when they’d found him strapped to that awful chair. She wondered about what kind of nightmares he would have this time around. They never had a chance to talk about what he remembered from the most recent period of captivity and now he’d been severely beaten again and drugged too, according to the blood work the hospital had run. It made her ponder the concept of how much trauma one man could be expected to take and emerge from it relatively unscathed emotionally. “Oh, John….I pray that you’re alright. I pray that we can find a way to help you get well again,” she added, thinking again about the personality transformations she had witnessed over the past week or so. What effect would this last episode have on all of that?


  
A little while after she had fallen asleep, she got her answer, or at least part of it. She was awakened by an awful sound. It was a cross between a cry and a scream and it was haunting, indicative of a kind of suffering few others could understand. “No…no, not again. No!” he shouted. She looked up and he was fighting with the sheets and blankets that had been tucked in around his body. And then he was pulling at the IV’s and the nasal canula. Most of all, she was worried he would dislodge the chest tube.


  
She put her hand on his shoulders to get his attention. “John, honey… you’re having a nightmare. You’re safe now, you’re in the hospital. You need to calm down because you’re hurting yourself.”


  
John was still thrashing and she hit the call button, realizing that he might need to be sedated again. She hated it, but at the same time a part of her was grateful for any moment of peace he was able to have. Soon enough, the memories would come rushing back to him and he would have to face the truth of what had been done to him again. “Listen to me, baby… you’re okay, you’re safe now…. Stop fighting…. It’s okay, I’m here… I’ll always be here for you.”


  
Just as the nurse arrived and shoved a syringe into his IV, his movement slowed down and his eyelids began to flutter. “Yes, John, that’s it…come back to me… “


  
Lazy eyes drifted around the room, searching for the location of the sound that registered somewhere in his mind. At last, they settled on a face, a beautiful face he recognized. “Doc…”


  
“Yes, honey, it’s me…”


  
“What……where….” He had no strength for more that those two words and he hoped she understood what he wanted to know.


  
“John, you’ve been hurt and you’re in the hospital. You’re going to be fine.”


  
“Hurt….how?”


  
When she dropped her gaze and became silent, somehow he just knew. “Stefano again… oh, yea… I had him, Doc… for a split second, I had him. Damn him anyway!”


  
“My sentiments exactly. John, you were lucky. You had a punctured lung and you could have died.”


  
“Yea, they uh… they beat the hell out of me, Doc…”


  
“Honey, how are you feeling?”


  
His eyes were starting to glaze over and he suddenly found it hard to talk. “I uh… right now… I’m feeling no pain. They’ve got me… pretty drugged up, don’t they?”


  
She nodded. “I’m really gonna feel it tomorrow, huh?” he said, dreading the prospects.


  
“Yes, they’ll probably taper the medication over the next couple of days and then you’ll be pretty sore for awhile.”


  
“No sugar coating needed, Doc, I’ve had broken ribs before. They hurt like hell for a long time.”


  
“I’m so sorry, honey… yes, they do and they don’t even wrap them like they used to…because research has shown it doesn’t really help.”


  
“You know….I didn’t used to like the drugs….but come to think of it….it’s….not so bad,” he said with a loopy smile on his face. In another second, he was out.


  
“No, it’s not so bad, my love….not so bad at all,” she said, feeling very grateful that it was her John, the core personality, who had surfaced first. That was a good sign. In another minute, she turned her thoughts to the search for the man who had caused the personality fracture in the first place. “Oh, Bo.. Abe, why haven’t I heard anything from you?” she asked the air around her, wishing they would soon return and fill her in on what was happening.


  
Startled by the sound of the door opening and two pairs of shuffling feet on the floor, she turned around to see them both standing behind her.


  
“We thought you would want to hear the news in person, that’s why.”


  

“Bo, Abe…what news?”


  
“Stefano, he got away,” Abe said, his disappointment and frustration obvious. “There’s a system of tunnels running underneath the property. Dimera took off as soon as he heard the sirens and saw the lights. He got away clean and we have no idea where he went.”


  
She couldn’t believe it and the fear struck deep in her heart again, “Oh no… that means we’re all still at risk. Stefano won’t quit… he wants to turn John back into the mercenary and he came awfully close, Abe… I don’t know how much more of this we can take…. How much John can take…” she said through a flood of tears, struggling not to break down completely.


  
Abe took the first stab at helping his best friend’s wife to believe that John would be okay and that when he was well the three of them would catch the madman who inflicted so much pain upon them all, “Marlena… you know him… he’s the strongest man I know…”


  
Bo placed his arm around the woman he loved like a sister and made his attempt, “Abe’s right, Marlena…John’s going to be okay. He’ll beat this thing…and we’ll all work together to take Dimera down.”


  
Glancing back at the sleeping form of the man she loved, Marlena nodded hesitantly, trying to make herself believe. “Oh, Abe…Bo… I hope to God that you’re right.”

John was still sleeping when Marlena stepped out of his hospital room to greet Abe and Bo again. Their faces bore nearly the same grim expression. “What, what is it?” she asked anxiously, looking back and forth between the two men who remained silent too long. “What’s going on, just tell me?”


  
Abe looked at Bo and nodded. Bo glanced down at his feet and then Abe spoke. “Marlena, there’s just no easy way to say this. John is being charged with voluntary manslaughter and as soon as the doctors give the okay, he’s going to be transferred to a maximum security psychiatric prison unit.”


  
Fear threatened to overwhelm her completely. “Oh, no Abe… he… no, he didn’t know what he was doing! He was reacting to someone who looked and sounded like Stefano. He… had a…flashback and he thought the man was Stefano… he didn’t mean to kill anyone.”


  
“Marlena, we understand that, but the prosecutor in Seattle is looking at the facts of the case. And the facts are that John killed a man by breaking his neck. Yes, he was in a psychiatric hospital at the time, but they think they have enough to charge him and that’s what they’ve done. We’ll fight this, claiming ‘diminished capacity,’ but John is going to be taken into custody, Marlena… probably within in the next couple of days. In the mean time, there will be armed policemen stationed outside of his hospital room. They’re uh… they’re going to cuff him to the bed as well.”


  
It was all she could do not to break down in tears. “Oh, my God, Abe…when is this nightmare ever going to end?”


  
“I’m so sorry, Marlena… I was afraid of this…” Abe said, leaning in to give her the comfort of a friendly hug. She melted into it, fighting with every fiber of her being not to completely fall apart. John was going to need her strength and she was going to give it to him.


    
When the embrace ended, Bo gave her the rest of the bad news. “I should probably tell you the rest of it….”


  
“What more could there be?”


  
“The feds are getting in on the act and as soon as they sort it all out, there will probably be other charges added.”


  
“Oh, Bo… it’s not John’s fault. None of it.”


  
“I know….and we’ll do whatever we can to help, Marlena…”


  

  
After arguing with Abe and Bo about her need for sleep, Marlena sat at John’s bedside and waited. She stayed awake as long as she could keep her eyes open, but eventually fatigue took its toll on her worn out body and she too feel asleep.


  
An unmistakable rattling sound woke her up in the middle of the night.


  
John was tugging against the metal band encircling his right wrist. “Hey…what’s this… what’s going on here? Doc…” he asked, striving to keep his emotions in check as he became fully aware that the other cuff was firmly attached to the bedrail.


  
“Oh, John… you’ve been through so much…do you remember what happened at the other hospital?”


  
“No…what are you talking about, Marlena, what…hospital?” he asked, yanking on the handcuffs again.


  
There was something in her eye, a look that told him enough. “Oh….that hospital….no, I don’t…remember much of it,” he said, suddenly ashamed of whatever it was that had caused him to end up in such a place.


  
“John, I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but honey, you killed a man. You had a….” She paused for a moment, letting her words begin to settle over him.


  
“A flashback,” he finished softly as bits and pieces of memory started to filter through.


  
She nodded. “Yes, apparently the man looked and sounded very much like Stefano. He slapped you a couple of times and you went into a flashback. John, you broke his neck and now you’re being charged with voluntary manslaughter.”


  
He was so shocked it took his breath away for almost a full minute. “Oh my God… no, oh, Doc… no. I’m so sorry.”


  
Her heart was breaking for him, for both of them, and the silence overcame them for a time. Finally, he seemed to be remembering, or at least coming to grips with his reality and he looked up into her hazel eyes, his blue ones full of torment. Then he spoke the words he thought would set her free. “I want you to cut your losses here, Marlena… I want you to tell them that I kidnapped you and held you hostage the entire time we were on that mountain.”


  
“No, John… you didn’t intend to harm anyone. If anyone is to blame for what happened to that poor man, it’s Stefano Dimera. Now, I’m going to tell them everything… all of the terrible things Stefano did to you, the personalities, everything…. and maybe we’ll have a chance of getting you off. “


  
He shook his head and spoke resolutely, “No…that puts you at risk, Marlena… they’ll try to claim you were an accessory after the fact… say that you helped me to escape…you could be charged with ‘aiding and abetting.’ No way am I going to let that happen to you! I want you to cut all ties with me, go home and…take care of the kids,” he added, thinking that appealing to the bonds of motherhood might make the difference.


  
She could scarcely believe what she was hearing and even though she appreciated what he was trying to do, it made her mad and she told him so. “No, John…. you can’t just send me away like that. I’m going to stand by you in this.”


  
“Doc… think about it… I don’t have a chance in hell here. It happened in front of a bunch of witnesses, right? I went off on this guy… who’s going to believe that it was because I thought he was somebody else, some sick bastard who held me prisoner in some deep dark dungeon and tortured me for weeks on end… more than once. It sounds crazy to me and I was there… So, tell me, Doc.. what jury is going to believe all that?”


  
“John, the man was slapping you in the face, just like Stefano always did. We have proof for some of it… and the rest… well, they’ll just have to believe the testimony of a well reputed Seattle psychiatrist, three Salem Police Department veterans and a few other important citizens of Salem, Illinois.”


  
He shook his head, this time in wonder, and smiled with gratitude. “You’re incredible… you know that?”


  
“I do try, my love..”


  
“Love.” He said it wistfully. “How can you even say that after what I’ve done.. the way I’ve treated you?” he asked, dropping his head, ashamed of who and what he’d become.


  
She took his free hand in hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze as she tried to encourage him. “John, you listen to me… I know that we have some…issues to work through and you made some choices that I didn’t approve of… but I made mistakes too, John. The truth is that Stefano is to blame for most all of what happened to separate us. The most important thing for you to remember right now is that I love you with all my heart and I am not going to let you face this alone. I will be with you every step of the way.”


  
John didn’t look up at her like she thought he would and she tipped his chin up so that she could see his eyes. They were brimming with unshed tears. “It’s true, isn’t it….everything you just said… you still…love me like that?” he asked through slightly quivering lips.


  
“Yes, it’s true, I still love you like that. The question is… how do you feel? I told you to leave, I kicked you out of the penthouse, John.”


  
All he could do was shake his head. “John, honey… talk to me,” she said, suddenly very worried about him.


  
“You were right to do that. I don’t…deserve your love, Marlena. I lied to you…repeatedly and I went to that… Bastard instead of coming to you and confessing what I had remembered. I screwed up so badly, Doc… I almost ruined two marriages and now I’ve… killed an innocent man. I don’t understand how you can feel anything for me but hatred and…disgust.”


  
It broke her heart to see him in such pain and to hear him so down on himself. She searched her mind for the words that would make him understand that she saw things differently now. “Oh, John… you were unsure of yourself… and your memories.. I understand now… how you could question my response. John, I handled it horribly. I was so hurt and angry and I took it out on you. I should have…thought about what it was like for you. John.. baby, the truth is… you didn’t betray me. Gina took advantage of you. Yes, at the time, you thought you were the man she loved, but you, John Black, the man I married, didn’t willingly have sex with another woman. The fact is, she…raped you.”


  
He was shaking his head as she talked. “You were hurt by what I did, Marlena… because I didn’t come to you right away, because of the way I told you, and by the fact that I was so… fixated on the baby.”


  
Noting that he had completely avoided dealing with the concept that he had been an unwilling partner, Marlena shared her conclusion. “Oh my gosh, John… you never let yourself think about the implications of what Gina did to you.”


  
His answer was instant, “No…”


  


“Why…. “
  
“Because, it wasn’t me that was with her… it was Him, the mercenary I once was. And in the memory…I, I mean he….wanted her… he enjoyed it. Oh, God, it was so confusing… to remember something so vividly, something that I didn’t experience,” he said, pointing a finger to his chest, “ I can’t even explain it…but I felt so guilty about it, Doc… and I just… couldn’t tell you.”


  
“John, you had nothing to feel guilty about. Gina used you for her own pleasure. She drugged you and played tricks on your mind, and then she took your body against your will. That made it rape.”


  
He laid there in silence, instinctively curling up on his side. “All this time…I’ve felt like it was my fault… like I should have…” He stopped mid-sentence, unable to finish it for the power of emotions that swelled inside him.


  
“Like you should have, what, John…”


  
“I should have been able to fight it. Whatever she did to me.. my love for you should have been…. stronger, and for the life of me, Marlena, I don’t… understand why it wasn’t. Because of that…. because she was able to make me think I was… Him, I… betrayed our wedding vows. God, Doc… I’m so sorry…. You’ll never know how sorry I am for that…and for lying to you… I’m…so sorry.” He muttered those last two words repeatedly, his eyes aching with sadness.


  
What agony she had caused him. It made her weep to see the pain in his moist blue eyes. He was guilt ridden because she had put that thought in his head. She took his left hand and brought it to her lips for a soft kiss. “Oh, John… honey, no…it wasn’t your fault…please believe me when I tell you that I don’t blame you anymore for what happened. You didn’t betray our vows. Gina forced herself on you, honey. Please don’t put yourself through this.”


  
He looked up at her again and she noticed the change immediately. Something was different. “Oh no… not now, please…no, we were finally making some progress,” Marlena muttered, praying she was wrong in her conclusion.


  
The man smiled at her. “Hi ya, Doc!” he said with a devilish smirk. “Don’t let the innocent act fool you, we loved every minute of it.”


  
She shuddered at the sight of him. Though he bore the same face, this darker colder version in front of her was nothing like the man she loved, the man who moments before had been on the verge of weeping for the sorrow he felt for her. And yet, he was at this point inextricably linked to the mind and body of the man she would always love. The only good news was that she had once again witnessed his transformation into the mercenary personality, which was further evidence that would support the claim of ‘diminished mental capacity.’


  
She stepped toward the door and leaned out into the hallway. “Bo, Abe… I think you might like to come in here and see this,” she said, gesturing to the two of them. Sensing her urgency from the tightly controlled tone of her voice alone, they rushed down the corridor to enter their friend’s room.


  
“Well, if it isn’t a couple of the Keystone Cops…from Salem. How the hell are you boys?” said the man in the bed, leaning back against the pillows, laughing at them.


  
“That’s him, isn’t it? The mercenary?” Abe said, stating the obvious.


  
“Yep, that’s him… same guy who fought with Roman at Tuscany, the one who slept with my WIFE! You son of a bitch!” Bo said, stepping close to the bed, narrowly staving off the urge to beat the crap out of the man. He had to work to remember that the bastard happened to inhabit the mind and body of a man he had loved like a brother for a very long time.


  
Both Marlena and Abe stepped between Bo and the object of his formidable ire. “Bo… settle down… we know you have reason to be angry with him, but don’t forget, this is also our friend… John Black, the man who has been deeply wounded by that bastard Dimera. The mercenary is the one to blame for most of what happened, not John.”


  
“You tell him, Abe… tell him all about how poor Johnny boy is so messed up by what Dimera did to him, that he just can’t cope. And now… well, there are a..few others who are there to help him take care of things.”


  
“Oh and by the way… it wasn’t your wife I slept with… it was just her body… I was getting it on with my old lover, Gina… I do gotta say though… that Hope Brady, she’s hot! If I ever get the chance, I’d like to…do her again.”


  
“Damn you.. you sick son of a bitch!!” Bo said, lunging at the man. Before he came to his senses, Bo took a full swing at the man lying in the hospital bed, knocking him out and leaving John’s face bloodied.


  
“Damnit, Bo… you’re not helping,” Abe said, grabbing his friend and underling by the shoulders and pulling him away from the bed.


  
“I’m sorry… I couldn’t help myself… is he badly hurt, Marlena?” Bo asked, shaking his stinging right fist.


  
She was jostling the man lightly, hoping to bring him around. “John… honey….wake up… are you alright?” Abe brought her a wet towel from the bathroom and she thanked him with her eyes.


  
John’s eyelids fluttered and then opened slowly, his eyes cloudy with confusion. “Doc…. Oh, man….” He groaned, reaching his left hand toward the source of the pain. “What happened?”


  
Glancing back at the others but seeing nothing from them that would help her, she opted for asking him what he could recall, “What do you remember, John…anything?”


  
“No…nothing, I uh…no. Wait a minute, we were talking, I was…upset about….” He stopped when he saw that Bo was standing there, also noting the similar expression on the faces of his friends and the woman he loved. “Why don’t you tell me,” he finally said, discouraged and guessing that whatever it was, it wasn’t good.


  
When nobody said anything, he knew for sure. “What did I do?”


  
“John, it wasn’t you….”


  
There was a familiar sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach that accompanied the not remembering. Chunks of time were missing, some big and some little, but they all added up to the same thing. “Oh,” he said with a tired sigh. “So, what did HE do to make somebody slug me in the face?” John said, glancing at the bloodied left hand he had just pulled away from the painful area.


  
“I’m really sorry about that, John… it was me… The mercenary, he said some things.. about Hope,” Bo replied, feeling worse about it upon realizing more completely that the man’s lack of memory was genuine.


  
John shook his head and apologized for what the other man had done with his body. ‘Oh man….’probably deserved a lot worse,’’ he was thinking. “Bo, I’m so sorry.…. I don’t even know what to say to you…. I can’t make sense out of it for myself, but I swear it wasn’t….me who was with her on that submarine. I never would have…hurt you and Hope that way… I wish you could….believe me,” John said with tears in his eyes, his breath catching in his throat.


  
Bo was hurting for all of them, seeing the man’s crushing sense of guilty anguish for the actions of the personality who had taken up residence inside his head. “I do, John… I do now. I saw him, the mercenary… he’s a cold son of a gun…not at all like you, big brother. I know it wasn’t you and I’m really sorry for the way I’ve treated you since it all came out,” he said, putting a hand on John’s shoulder.


  
“No, it’s okay… I deserved it…everything you all said to me. I messed up… I was just so….freaked out by what I was remembering and I just…had to know if it was real, so I… I went to Stefano. I thought maybe I could… oh, hell I don’t know what I was thinking… guess I wasn’t,” he finished, his voice trailing off. “I’m very sorry for all the pain I’ve caused… I think maybe… you should… go… all of you, just let this thing play out. You’ll be better off without me in your lives.”


  
“John.. don’t say that. It’s not true, buddy…. we all love you and so does everybody back home in Salem….we won’t leave you to face this alone,” Abe said as convincingly as he could manage.


  
Marlena stepped in to take his hand in hers, “John, I understand how you might feel that way, like you’re in a hopeless situation and you can’t see a way out of the darkness, honey… but we’re going to stand by you. We’ll get you the best legal help and the best medical care that exists, and you’re going to be okay.”


  
“Oh, Doc…. You’re just so… incredible… the way you can forgive… but I know I don’t deserve you…. “ Despite his best efforts to contain the emotion, he started to weep a few silent tears and his voice quavered as he tried to convince her to let him go, “I killed somebody, Doc… and I’m …all screwed up in the head now. You deserve so much better. You should…. wash your hands of me. I’ll just… hurt you again… or He will.”


  
“No, no, John…. That’ not true…”


  
Sensing that the couple needed some time alone, Bo and Abe quietly left the room. But before they did, Bo touched the man on the arm and said, “John… it’s not your fault… I know that now… it was all Dimera’s doing and we’re going to nail him this time. You’re going to beat this thing and then we’re going to take him down…together.”


  
John nodded imperceptibly, wishing he could really believe all that. “Yea,” he said quietly.


  
After the others left, the silence pervaded the room. John thought there was nothing else to say and Marlena was searching for some magical words that would convince him he was wrong in thinking he didn’t deserve to be loved anymore.


  
“John…I think we need to talk this out, how about you?”


  
Shaking his head, he said, “There’s nothing left to say, Doc….why don’t you book a flight back to Salem… I’m sure the kids are really missing you by now.”


  
“Yes and they miss their father too, John.”


  
“Nah… we both know they’re better off without me.”


  
“John, I want you to stop this! Right now!” Marlena commanded.




Suddenly, he was angry too, instead of resigned and it took them both by surprise. “Dammit, why don’t you cut the act, Marlena! Stefano told me what you did while I was gone. And he showed me proof, so don’t try to deny it!”


  
“John, what are you talking about?”


  
“You filed for divorce, Doc…. You thought I left town willingly and that I wasn’t coming back, so you wanted a divorce. Stefano got a real charge out of showing me copies of everything. It was your signature on those papers, Marlena. I’d recognize it anywhere.”


  
She shut her eyes and let out a weary sigh. She had no argument. John sounded mad but it was obvious from the expression on his face that he was terribly hurt as well. It was also immediately clear that Stefano had used the situation to his full advantage, weakening John’s ability to resist the brainwashing process. She concluded that by avoiding the discussion, John had been trying to spare her this confrontation, or better yet, spare himself. But the words had now been spoken and he deserved a response. “John, please listen, I can…”


  
Unwilling to rehash the details, John cut her off, “Save it, Marlena… I understand, just like I did when he was holding me. The damage has been done and there’s no going back. Now, like I said…why don’t you book a flight to Salem…go home and raise the kids in peace. I’ll sign the papers and you’ll be free of me….just let this thing happen and I’ll never be able to hurt you again.”


  
Seeing the pain behind the anger, she pleaded with him. “John, please….let me explain…”


  
He was shaking his head no, but she was going to try anyway, when one of the doctors stepped into the room. “I’m sorry, but I think my patient has had more than enough stress for one day. You’ll have to leave now,” he said sternly, having instantly picked up on the tension in the room.


  
“But, Doctor, this is really important and I…”


  
“I can see that… but he needs to get some rest…and besides…” The man stopped mid-sentence, taking note of some new marks on John’s face. “What happened here?” he said, approaching the bed to take a closer look at his patient’s nose, left cheek and eye, all of which were bruised and swollen. “Has someone hit you?” he asked, incredulous.


  
“It’s nothing… I’m okay,” John said, discounting the man’s concern while purposely averting his gaze.


  
“Who did this and why?” the physician demanded, while glaring at the woman in the room.


  
“It’s rather….complicated, Doctor,” Marlena finally managed, when John offered nothing further.


  
Seeing that his patient was in no shape to do the explaining, the physician decided it would be best to leave him alone for awhile. “John….. why don’t you try to relax and get some rest. The nurse will be right in to take care of this and she’ll give you something that will help you sleep.”


  
John flashed him a weak smile of gratitude and gave a slight nod of his head in response as the doctor ushered Marlena out of his room and into the hallway. John watched her go, whispering softly, “Goodbye, Doc… I’ll always love you.”