“Daddy… why are you leaving us with this man?” The sobs of Samantha filled the room as she clung tightly to John’s neck. He felt the tears start to fall from his own eyes and he hugged his daughter to him with all of his might, hoping that if he held them tightly enough, they would float away to another place… another time.
“Honey… Eric… Carrie. You know that I don’t want to leave you…” The words became choked as John tried to explain the horrendous situation to his kids.
“Then why are you?” Carrie folded her arms, the angry pout directed at him, the tears yet unshed.
“Carrie, honey… I explained this to you already. I’m not really your daddy… he is…”
John pointed towards Roman, hoping beyond hope that he would look up and the man would be gone. “I only thought that I was your daddy… Mummy and I thought that I was Roman Brady… but I’m not!” John’s throat tightened as he thought about Marlena. God, how he still missed her! Not a day had gone by since her death three years ago that he hadn’t ached for her. He smiled when through his tears he saw Sami… the same beauty of her mother. The same soft smile, the same angelic pout, the same look in her eyes when she was upset about something. And for the first time in his life, John thanked god that Marlena wasn’t here right now… that she wasn’t a witness to this heart-wrenching scene… that it wasn’t her heart that he had to give up to Roman Brady. This way he could cherish the love that they had shared, and take comfort in the fact that she had never had to choose between them. He couldn’t have beared losing his wife to another man. He released his children from the tight embrace, and stood, facing the man who was about to take away his very existence. He tried not to break down as Sami grabbed hold of his leg, crying hysterically, sobbing over and over again. “If you leave Daddy… I will hate you forever.” The words shook John to the core, and he looked up at Roman, hoping to see some compassion… some emotion. But all he saw was the same cold stare that had resided on Roman’s face since the day he had walked back into their lives and discovered that John had assumed his identity. John looked down to the mantel and gently picked up the framed wedding photo that sat there; the shrine to Marlena that he had never thought about being without. He touched the face of the angel in the photo, trying desperately to hold onto her beauty… trying to find comfort in her adorable smile… trying to tell himself that she really had loved him… and not Roman. His hand moved to place the photo into his bag, the bag that signified the end of his life as Roman Brady, loving widower, adoring father, supportive brother, son and uncle. The bag that signified the beginning of his long and lonely life as John Black, amnesiac… no relatives… no love. Before the photo was safely tucked away, Roman had stopped him with his callous words. “You won’t be needing that Mr Black. Marlena was my wife… you have no right to look at her, ever again.”
Roman snatched the photo from John, and smashed it face down onto the lamp table.
“Come on man… I spent two years with her. I loved her… I still love her.” He couldn’t hold back any longer, and let the tears flow freely from his eyes. He bent to his kids and
crushed the three of them into his big arms, engulfing them for the last time. “I love you kids… don’t ever forget that will you…?”“Daddy…” He looked once more into those innocent faces… faces that had just learnt what it felt like to be abandoned by the one
person that they had learned to count on… faces that screamed for comfort and reassurance. But that was his job now. Roman was their father and he had reclaimed his children.
Fate had willed it!
*********************************
I dreamed of him again tonight. It was a dream filled with promise; promise of the future. We were making love, but somehow it wasn’t an erotic dream… more sensual than anything else. We weren’t desperate for each other… but we were comfortable. It was passionate, but at the same time it was familiar. I think that it was my subconscious telling me what would have been, had I been in Salem with him for the past three years. Still desperately in love, still attracted to each other… but happy and contented; no need for desperation in the bedroom. The dream filled me with hope again; a hope that I have tried to suppress for the fear that it will be dashed when I finally reach Salem and find him.
Perhaps with another woman. Day after day I pray that it won’t be the case, that he is somehow there waiting for me, knowing that I am alive and biding his time till I return to him. I want nothing more than to see him… to pick up where we left off on that fateful day… the last kiss we shared still burning on my lips.
Marlena took a deep breath as she alighted from the aeroplane that had finally brought her back to Salem… back to her loved ones… back to her children… but most of all back to Roman. She closed her eyes and envisioned his face… those big blue eyes, that scruffy black hair, those scrumptious lips that could make her ache for him with only one light touch. She saw his muscular body, his strong arms, his perfect shoulders. She imagined running her hands over the tattoo that she had grown to love.
Marlena opened her eyes and stopped herself from continuing her fantasy. She had been gone from his life for three long years… Roman wouldn’t wait around forever. She tried to rationalise with herself that maybe he would have moved on… that maybe he would be married with children by now. After all, she had told him to move forward in her letter. She couldn’t bear to think of Roman with another woman in his arms, yet she couldn’t bear to think of him wasting away for the past few years, pining for his dead wife. It was a catch 22. Marlena let out an angry scream for what seemed like the millionth time in the past few days. Why had this happened to her? Why had her life become so complicated? Why could fate not leave her alone to be happy forever? She had thought that all of their problems were over when Roman had finally come back into her life… the man that she had thought was dead… the man whom she loved with her whole heart. And she never would have believed that love could be better the second time around… with the new face of Roman, came a new understanding, a new love that was so much stronger than it had ever been to start with. And then she had fallen from a window… six weeks cruelly taken from the lovers… but made up with love and gratitude when she had recovered. Then the ISA… and Orpheus… how his name still made her shudder. Orpheus was the reason that Roman thought that she was dead… Orpheus was the reason that Roman had probably moved on with his life… moved on from Marlena’s memory… to a woman who could satisfy him on earth, not just smiling down on him from heaven.
And again she screamed… inwardly this time; loudly for the injustice that had caused her to lose him… that had caused him to lose her… that now left the future of Roman and Marlena hanging on a tiny thread, one that was already weak and about to snap from the pressure. And now… only time would tell what the future had in store for Marlena Evans Brady.
Fate had willed it!
He was there today, walking along our pier. It was a place that always filled us both with serenity, a place where we would go when we needed to think and just exist. Today Roman was just existing. He looked troubled as I watched from afar. I adjusted my scarf and my sunglasses, so that they would cover my recognisable features, but all I really wanted was for him to see me. I wanted him to come to me… his arms wide open, his smile radiant, his lips parted for that long awaited kiss. I wanted to be able to take all of the pain away from him. I could almost see the tears that I was sure were running down his face… and I wondered what was causing him so much pain. I hoped that the children… our children were all OK… but the pain that I could feel did not seem like a pain that could be named. It seemed like he was plagued from within – just like he was when he was an amnesiac… constantly struggling to find his past, searching for answers… while trying to exist in a world that does not accept people who do not know themselves. I wanted to see the children. My beautiful babies are five years old now… they must be starting school this year. And my darling Carrie – my baby girl. She is in high school… no doubt giving Roman a run for his money. While I watched him strolling along the pier, plagued by memories, I pined for the missing years and I tried to justify my absence. But I couldn’t justify anything – those three years are nothing but an empty void in my memory… years spent in a coma, or so I was told. Wasted years… missing years… years in which my children had no mother. How would it look if I saw them on the street and expected to pick up where we left off? I can’t expect them to just accept me back into their lives again.
Making up my mind, I decided to unveil myself so to speak. I decided to let Roman know that I was alive… back in Salem… and ready to pick up where we left off. That’s when I saw her. It was like a movie being played in slow motion. Her soft laugh resounded from the water, and although Roman still looked sad, I could see his face light up when she pressed herself against him, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. She was beautiful… her red hair flowed in curls around her face… and she looked lovely. I couldn’t draw myself away as the hot tears spilled down my cheeks and gushed downwards into the water, mingling with the salty seas. When the kisses started I turned, not willing… not able to watch the passion with which he embraced her… the desperation with which his lips met hers. And I fled… back to the safety of my own little motel room… back to the safety of my own thoughts. My Roman.
She closed the book and her eyes, trying not to dwell on the new love in Roman’s life… a life that she was evidently no longer a part of.
***********************************
He looked up suddenly; the familiar feeling of unease had overtaken his senses. He was surprised when he saw no one. He didn’t know why, but he could have sworn that there was a woman there… he hadn’t seen her, but he had felt her presence, almost as if it was fated that he should know her. Isabella looked up into his face, placing her soft hands around it and pulling it down to look at her. “Do you believe me? Do you believe that I love you, Ro… John?” Her blue eyes were filled with devotion as she pleaded with her fiancé to believe that she only loved him… and not his name. He would be the same person to her no matter what his name was.
“Izzy… I just… I love you, you know that right?” John took Isabella’s hands within his own, squeezing them in a comforting gesture. He searched her beautiful face for confirmation. “I know you do.”
“Good. Izzy I just don’t have anything to offer you right now. In one week my life has been ripped apart. I just realized that the past five years have been a lie… a fabrication… an act. I was never Roman Brady… I was never Bo’s brother, I was never Shawn and Caroline’s son, I was never Sami and Eric and Carrie’s father, and I was never Marlena’s husband. How can I go on with my life knowing that I am back to where I started… knowing nothing about myself, about my life? Hell, I don’t even know my own name…” The last few words came out in strangled tones, and shook Isabella to the very core. She could feel the absolute agony that the man she loved was in, and there was nothing that she could do to help to ease that pain. John’s body was turned away from her, facing the water… seeking solace in the deep dark waves that swished there. She stood directly behind him, placing her arms onto his shoulders. “I still love you John… No matter what your name is… please don’t shut me out.”
John shook her off angrily, transported to another place, another time on this very pier. That was Marlena’s gesture. The way she used to come behind him and rest her perfect chin onto his shoulder. Then her hands would find his shoulders and tightly knead the knots from his tense body. Isabella had no right to invade his special place… his safe haven… the place that belonged to only Marlena. While he was reacting, he vaguely felt badly. He wondered if he would be saying these things to Marlena if she was here… would he push her away like he was with Isabella? “I’m sorry Izzy… I just… I need some time… I need to discover my past before I can offer you a future. I don’t expect you to wait around for me baby… move on with your life if you want to because I may never be able to offer you more than an empty shell of a man…” John shrugged his shoulders, his eyes downward. “John… please… you told me once that hypnosis helped you the last time. Why don’t we ask Laura to…”
“Don’t you dare ever say that to me again. Marlena was the only person who could help me in that way. Unless Marlena does it, I will never go under hypnosis again…” The words had sounded harsher than he meant them to, and the tears filled Isabella’s blue eyes. “You will never get over her, will you R… I mean, John? I will always play second fiddle to a dead woman. I will always be here for you honey… please call me if you change your mind?” With that, the only thing that he had left in his life, walked out of it. With a colossal rage, John pounded his fist into the railing of the pier, the radiating pain that resounded from the action causing a welcome relief from the emptiness that consumed him.
“No… I won’t go to bed. I want my daddy…” The exasperation threatened to take over. Roman could not believe that a five year old would be so determined. He glared at his beautiful daughter, her face so much like her mothers; her temper exactly the same. The look on her face right now was one of pure determination, and apart from the obvious similarities to Marlena, Roman felt nothing for the young girl before him. The past six years had taught Roman Brady a hatred and a coldness that he had never possessed before. His cold eyes scared him sometimes when he looked in the mirror… yet he knew that he had brought it all on himself. When Roman had agreed to work for Stefano Dimera, he should have known that no good could come out of it. Stefano had promised him sanctuary both for himself and for Marlena. He had promised that he would send for Marlena, and that they would co-exist in the new world. Yet his promises had never amounted to anything.
When Roman was released from the bonds that tied him to Stefano only a few weeks ago, he had rushed back here to Salem… needing to see her… needing her gentleness and beauty to make him feel whole again, to make him feel like the compassionate man that he once was. When he found out that she was dead… something snapped inside him. Roman had been hanging onto the hope that he would one day get back to his wife… that she would help him to heal. But she was long dead, and in his place was a man who had assumed his identity; had raised his and Marlena’s children as his own; had spent the last few years of Marlena’s life in their bed, making love to her as if he was her husband. Roman fumed at the thought of Marlena’s legs wrapped around another man’s body… it was a jealousy that was unfounded, unnecessary, and that no longer mattered. It was a jealousy that he could never have felt before. Almost out of spite, Roman had deprived John of the children, not caring one way or the other how he was confusing their little souls; how he was filling them with feelings of abandonment and mistrust; how he was setting them up for a lifetime of misery. He wanted John to feel the pangs of losing everything that meant anything to him. He wanted John to pay for sleeping with Marlena… for assuming his identity… and for being the last one to kiss his wife before she died… his kiss on her lips, his face in her mind’s eye as she took her last breath. For that Roman would never forgive him.
He turned his attention back to the task at hand… “You are going to sleep young lady whether you like it or not.” His hand grabbed her small arm, a little too roughly.
“No…” The screams intensified. “I want Daddy…”
“I am your Daddy, Samantha Brady. Now do as I say.” Roman raised his hand as if to hit her, the outrage filling his body. But with as much effort as he could muster, he stopped, taking a deep breath before placing his hand calmly onto his lap.
“What are you doing? Let me deal with this… come on…” Carrie entered the room, the frustration evident on her face. She waved her hand towards the door, indicating that she wanted Roman to leave the room. Roman just stared at his daughter, as she calmly drew Sami to her, rocking her in her arms and singing softly. After a moment she looked up and noticed Roman still sitting there.
“Roman… I want you to leave… you’ll only upset her more…” Roman tried not to be taken aback at the use of his full name by his eldest daughter. He stood and left the room, hearing slight snippets of the hushed conversation as he made his way to the liquor cabinet.
“Carrie… when is Daddy coming home?”
“Go to sleep Sami… he will be back… he loves us…”
*******************************
Marlena awoke to the pains of the diary sticking into her back. Pulling it out from underneath her, she rubbed the sore area and ran her fingers over the book lovingly. The diary was the only way to keep herself sane… the only way that she could express all of the feelings and emotions that had consumed her since she awoke from the coma. She flicked it to the first page…
I woke up today… it was a strange feeling, a feeling that’s difficult to describe. It was like waking up in the morning, only my body felt like lead. At first I thought that I was paralysed, as my legs wouldn’t do what my brain told them to do. It was a strange place too, the ceilings were high and sterile; the bright white lights shone into my eyes. Then I thought that I might be in an operating room, the sterile environment reminded me of the OR at University Hospital. I do remember that my first thought was about Roman. His name was on my lips as I found myself coming into full consciousness, and when I couldn’t find him, I screamed for him again and again and again. The desperation that I felt not knowing where I was, and with Roman not by my side, was hard to tame. A nurse came into the room… she must have sedated me because the next thing I remember was waking up again. This time I didn’t make the mistake of calling for him… although I ached to see him. Things became clearer for me as I started to write… the last thing I remember is going back into the house to get my bag. Roman was taking myself and the kids on a ski-trip… a holiday, he had told me… but I knew that it was a plan to escape Orpheus. I remember the fear that I felt when I learned that he was back in Salem… after almost being killed by the same man only two weeks beforehand, my dread was well-founded. I knew it and Roman knew it. The only option was for us to get away. I wondered while I was lying here today if we had ever taken that ski-trip. I need to find a way out of this place… I need to find out where I am… and most of all, I need Roman.
Marlena stopped reading, the pain of the memories almost too much for her. If only I had have known then that it wasn’t going to be that easy, she thought. If only she had known that three years had passed since that fateful day when she and Roman had been separated – maybe forever.
Marlena ripped a piece of paper from the middle of the book, and scrawled in big letters… writing that Roman Brady wouldn’t recognise. She wanted him to be surprised when they finally met face to face. She wanted him to forget that his lady-friend ever existed. Marlena chided herself for scheming to get another woman’s man, but quickly forgave herself when she realised that Roman was hers. If he wanted her, then she would take him. If he didn’t… then that was what
fate had planned for them, and she would move on from there. How, she didn’t know… but she would move on no matter what it took.
John walked slowly past the Brady household, his step slowing as he tried to catch a glimpse of what was happening inside. Almost by a magnetic force, he turned towards the house… pausing at the front door. It was no secret that Roman Brady had no love for John… hell, he resented him down to his fingertips… but John knew that the kids would be having a hard time adjusting to the change. He remembered how difficult it had been for Carrie four years ago when they had thought he was Roman… how she had resisted him at every step… refusing to believe that he was her father. John sighed, realizing that Carrie had been right all along. He wasn’t Roman, and although he had lived the lie for a while, it didn’t change the fact that he never would be Roman again. In one moment he had lost his family, his love, and his job… nothing could ever be the same again.
Before he could even knock on the door, he heard the excited shrieks of his two daughters. Carrie threw open the door and ran into his arms. “I’ve missed you…”
“Oh pumpkin… I have missed you too…” John closed his eyes and savoured the warmth of his teenager in his arms. “And I have missed you too my baby girl…” John swept Sami up into his arms and swung her around and around, delighting in the angelic giggles that filled the room. He took a sharp intake of breath – thinking for a second that Marlena was here. The same laugh…
“Is your… Is Roman here?” John glanced around the room for a sign of the man, sighing with relief when Carrie shook her head.
“He’s at the pub… catching up with everyone… This letter came Dad… I mean John… I think that it is for you…” Carrie handed him a folded up note.
“It’s got your father’s name on it Carrie.”
Carrie looked down at her toes. “I know… but the letter is meant for you, I just know it is… It was written before anyone knew that Roman had returned.” John looked at Carrie quizzically. “Honey, are you calling your father, Roman?” He drew her face up with his hands, and she met his eye.
“Yes… I can’t bring myself to call him Dad. I know that he is my father… I know that he gave birth to me. But you will always be my Daddy.” Tears filled John’s eyes when he heard the genuine tones of his thirteen year old baby… not technically his anymore… but always in his heart.
John stuffed the envelope into his jacket pocket, kissed his girls and went on his way.
************************************
Marlena took a deep breath as she checked her clothing in the dirty mirror one last time. Her clothing was old and outdated… she had not been able to afford any new clothes when she escaped from the island where she had been in her three-year-long coma. She smoothed out the long white shirt that fastened at her waist with a belt, showing off her curves that otherwise would have been hidden by the oversized article. Her blue jeans were faded, but clean. Marlena told herself that Roman wouldn’t be looking at her clothing… he would be too stunned to see her… and see her alive. She drew a brush through her long blonde hair one last time, satisfied that at least that looked lovely… she had gone to great pains to blow-dry it after getting out of the shower. Marlena picked up the glass of cheap red wine that sat on the table, and downed it in an attempt to calm her nerves… an attempt to make herself comfortable with a situation that she had been avoiding for the last few days… yet anticipating it with baited breath at the same time. She had romanticized the whole encounter in her mind time and time again… even taking the pains to write about it in her diary. In a way Marlena wanted to anticipate it forever, the fantasy so much better than the reality… especially now that Roman was involved with another woman. Oh, she was sure that Roman would be overjoyed to see her… even torn between her and the other woman… but then the reality would sink in, and he would have to choose. Would he choose a memory… or would he choose the woman whom he had spent the past three years with? Marlena grabbed her diary from the nightstand, and slipped it into her bag. Closing her eyes one last time, shutting out the fear and the anxiety, she left the room… for what she hoped would be the last time.
*******************************
The waiting almost killed her. Marlena sat at the crowded bar, her red scarf tied securely around her head. She didn’t want to be noticed too soon. Her eyes were fixed in the direction of the door, searching for a sign of him… her ears strained for the sound of his voice and his boots against the wooden door. She sipped her wine to calm her nerves, totally unaware of anyone else in the pub. She opened her diary to pass the time, losing herself again in her fantasy.
How can reality be as good as fantasy? How can I want so much to see him, to feel his arms around me, to feel his lips on mine… yet at the same time dread that very moment? I have built this moment up and up and up in my mind since the day that I woke up. How could reality ever fulfill my expectations? I need Roman like I have never needed anything or anyone before in my life. I think that were I to lose him again… I couldn’t survive it. I tell myself again and again that he is probably married by now, but my heart can’t seem to stop creating these fantasies. It’s like I am lost in them… every moment, either asleep or awake… he is there, filling my thoughts. I can’t see past the first time that I will see him. That first hug… the first kiss… the first glance in my direction, consumes my thoughts.
Last night I dreamed of him again. And it was a dream that I don’t ever want to forget. I was in Salem… I think I must have floated there on a cloud… because one moment I was here in this hellhole, and the next I was in the park. I was on the swing, floating into the air with every pump of my legs, with every push of my arms. I felt so free, and I laughed and laughed every time I felt myself go higher. Then I saw him, looking up at me, absolute amazement in his gaze… absolute disbelief, yet absolute adoration. Small tears pooled in his eyes, as the darkness enveloped us both. It was my laughter that had drawn him to the park… the laughter of a ghost. I stopped swinging, but the swing took it’s time to comply… coming down from the heights to which I had soared took so much longer than I had imagined that it would. He couldn’t wait any longer, and his strong hands grasped the swing desperately, stopping its constant motion. He knelt in the dirt in front of me, taking my face in his hands, searching my eyes for confirmation that I was real… that I existed.
“Doc…” The word was whispered. “Is that really you?” The look in my eyes told him that it was, the look of pure and unadulterated love that radiated from my skin… but he had to hear it, as if hearing my voice would make it seem like less of a dream. “It’s me Roman… Marlena… your Marlena… your Doc…” And in a moment of blinding passion, his lips were secured to mine, the desperation building as we suckled at each others tongues, caressing each other’s bodies with our wandering hands… the pressure so intense, yet building and then building some more.
I woke in a sweat… disoriented and panting. And I realized that it had been a dream. It was then that I started to dread the first meeting with Roman, because reality could never ever feel like that.
Marlena glanced at her watch and sighed. The activity was building at the bar… she was surprised. It had always been such a quiet place… a place where couples met to talk, to lose themselves in each other’s smiles and gentle caresses. But now, the people around her stifled her senses. She couldn’t meet with Roman in a place that was this crowded… then the reunion couldn’t be perfect. And it would only be a matter of time before someone recognized her… and the news of her return would be all over town in a matter of minutes. Marlena drank the rest of her wine in one gulp and left the bar.
John placed the scrawled note back into his pocket as he made his way out of the pub. He had missed her… he had gotten the note too late. He was filled with a sense of strange familiarity as he had read it.
Roman,
Meet me at the Salem Pub at 7pm. I will be wearing a red scarf. You will know me!
His first thought was that it could have been Isabella, trying to get him to agree to meet her… but then again, Izzy was not the type to leave mysterious notes. If she had wanted to talk to him she would have come right out and told him. No… John could sense a mystery in the air… and he somehow felt driven to solve it. As he left the pub, he could have sworn that he smelt a familiar scent… the scent of freshness… the scent of… of Marlena. But in an instant it was gone… the perfume had vanished into the air, the particles dispersing and disappearing into nothingness. John wanted to hit himself for thinking about Marlena – he had been thinking about her far too much recently. After two years of trying to get over her untimely death, John had decided to move on… with Isabella. Isabella was the kindest, most sensitive woman that he had ever met… the only woman whom he could see himself moving on with. She was so different to Marlena; for Marlena had possessed a spark, a temper, a sensuality that could never be matched. Yet she was so kind and compassionate and caring… his doctor, his whole world. John would never have been able to move on with a woman who had the same qualities as Marlena, for he would always be reminded of the fact that he was not with her… that he was with the second choice.
Roman… Roman… Roman… the words flew through his head as he chided himself for having such unhealthy thoughts. Then he realised that he wasn’t Roman… and that he had to stop thinking of himself as such.
How could she have left him? How could he have failed her? How could his Doc be dead? Roman looked around the church, trying to find someone who wasn’t crying. It was the only thing he could do… the only thing he could focus on, so that he wouldn’t break down himself. Speaking about his love for her was easy… but doing her justice was difficult. Roman knew that everyone in the church was mourning for his beloved wife. Carrie stood beside him, holding his hand… the tears cascading down her cheeks.
“I only really remember fully the past two years with Marlena… but they were the most amazing years that I could ever hope to spend. You all knew her… you all loved her… and you knew the kindness, the compassion, the total and unadulterated joy that she expressed throughout her entire life. The way she raised her children… the way she helped me, even when she thought that I was her enemy… the way she helped so many people. It wasn’t just because she was a doctor… Marlena helped people because she wanted to. She wanted to make the world a better place… And she did that by just existing. She taught me to love… a love like I had never known existed. I will never forget my Doc… I will spend every day rejoicing that she and I shared the love that we did.” Roman couldn’t hold back anymore and broke down. He left the pulpit and sat down in his pew, struggling with the knowledge that his Marlena would never be coming back to him.
**********************************
Romans eyes were bloodshot as he swigged his beer. The pub was smoky and crowded and Roman revelled in it. He was existing in a world where he didn’t have to give anything of himself… he could sit next to a man and drink in silence, both men glad of the company, yet desperate to be alone. Roman had started early, drinking the bottle of rum that was in the cooking cupboard, before venturing out of the house in search of more alcohol… his drug… his escape from the world. Without Marlena his life was meaningless… his kids hated him… and to be quite honest, he wasn’t too fond of them at the moment. Samantha had no right to have Marlena’s beauty… the same blonde hair… the same fire in her eyes… the same savage temper. Eric had no right to have her eyes… the deep hazel orbs that conveyed every single emotion that he was feeling, the light shining out of them in happiness and the fear that was evident when he felt threatened. Roman pounded his empty bottle onto the counter, smashing the glass into tiny pieces with the force of the blow.
A young girl in a halter neck top and a mini skirt sauntered over to him. “Everything all right, big boy?” She asked playfully, her mouth in a seductive pout as she straddled his knees.
Roman growled at the contact… it had been so long since he had had a woman in his bed. He crushed his lips to hers. “Lets get out of here sweetheart… we can continue this little game at my place…”
*********************************
Isabella tried hard not to burst into tears again. Although she had been shocked when Roman had turned up in Salem… leaving her with a man who had no identity… she knew that she had fallen in love with his soul and his body, not his name. Why was that so difficult for him to understand? Isabella sighed, telling herself again not to be so naive. Of course John was upset about losing the kids… about losing his life… but most of all he was upset that he had lost the right to have memories of Marlena. Because she was never his. Isabella had known from the beginning that she would never be able to take Marlena’s place in ‘Roman’s’ heart… that the best she could hope for was to make him forget about her for little moments at a time… until one day, she was nothing but a distant memory. Now more than ever Isabella felt like Marlena Evans Brady was haunting her… was haunting John, as if she didn’t approve of them being together. How could a ghost, a woman long dead, still have this hold over so many people? They all spoke about her like she was a saint… the Brady’s, Roman, John, the kids. And maybe she was… but what was the point of worshipping a dead woman?
I was so close tonight. Had I but stayed there for a few minutes longer… I would have been in Roman’s arms. But I couldn’t stay there… I couldn’t let our first meeting be in that place… the crowds, the alcohol… Why do I keep making excuses for myself? I can’t bring myself to tell him… I can’t destroy his life and the life of his partner… and the life of my children… by throwing their lives into turmoil again. I was remembering tonight how hard Carrie took it when Roman came back from the dead… when we told her that he was her father. She took so long to adjust and the pain that existed in the Brady household was phenomenal… for Roman, for me, for Carrie. The twins wouldn’t even recognise me if I showed up in their lives… they were merely babies when I left.
I need some fresh air… I need to take a walk… I need to get some perspective, and the only place where I know I can get it is the pier. Maybe he will be there… maybe he will sense that I am there… Maybe our meeting will be willed by fate.
Marlena strolled along the pier, the familiarity of the scene washing over her like a dream that had never been forgotten. She gazed out into the dark waters, the waves crashing and flowing, the salt spray calming her as it splashed gently onto her skin. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes… letting the serenity overtake her… fill her… overflow within her. Somehow out here, problems had a way of just washing away, if only temporarily… yet some relief from plaguing thoughts was better than none. With all of the inner strength that she could muster, Marlena’s heart called out to Roman’s… if their bond still existed, Roman would come here, and he would find her here… and time would stand still, if only for an instant.
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“Roman… Help me…” The voice cried out, filling his senses with a sense of foreboding. In a dream things are always so fantastical, and Roman had the strength of an ox as he ran after her into the burning house. The heat seared around him, engulfing their lives… their house… his wife, yet he was unaffected by it. His skin was protected as if by some divine intervention. He saw her lying there, trapped beneath a burning ember, her cries filling the room… her eyes so scared like a frightened animal… her body begging for him to protect her.
In an instant he had reached her… and suddenly his strength failed him. No matter how hard he tried, he could not lift the wood from her fragile body. He couldn’t save her. Collapsing in despair, Roman took Marlena’s head in his hands, looking down into her fear-filled eyes… trying to reassure her with his gaze. “You told me that you would always protect me Roman…” The words were whispered as she took her last pained breath… her lips still parted with the strain of them.
John woke in a sweat… strangled sounds came from his mouth as he called to her. “Marlena… I’m sorry… Doc…” He gasped in the stifled air, needing to get some oxygen to his lungs, which felt as though they were going to collapse at any moment in time. Calming down slightly, John cursed to the skies… wondering why these dreams were plaguing him again. For six months following Marlena’s death, he had had the same dream every night… that she was dying and in trouble and that he couldn’t help her. But he hadn’t suffered from one of these night terrors for two and a half years. Something was wrong, he could feel it… he needed to go to the place where he could find solace… he was compelled to go to the pier.
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“Who is she Roman?” Carrie had her arms folded as she viewed the half-naked woman in her father’s arms.
“That’s none of your business Carrie…” Roman slurred his words as the last of the alcohol that he had consumed settled in his stomach. “It is my business when you are practically going at it on the couch in our living room…”
The anger sparked in her eyes. How dare this man come into their lives and turn it upside down.
“For gods sake Carrie… go to bed. I have business to attend to.” Roman returned to his task of caressing the woman’s taut breast through her top. “God… you are disgusting. Thank god that Marlena isn’t here to see this…” Carrie stormed upstairs to her room.
Roman merely smiled and continued his task. If she was here, he thought, it would be her that I would be fucking right now.
I have been sitting here in this room for two weeks now, speaking to Roman with my heart. The bond that we have could never be broken. Maybe he will realize that I am alive when he feels my heart calling to him. As much as I want to see him… as much as I want him to love me again… I am contented momentarily with dreaming about him. I can lose myself in my dream world – the days can pass and I do nothing but imagine him… imagine us together. The anticipation of our first kiss will keep me going for years… and since I don’t think that I will be getting out of here anytime soon…that’s all I have for now and that is enough.
She watched from the shadows as ‘Roman’ descended the stairs to the pier. Her heart jumped in her throat when she saw him… and all she wanted to do was run into his arms. She held back, not wanting to overwhelm him more than he needed to be overwhelmed. This was the moment that she had been waiting for. The pier was their place… and what better place for this anticipated meeting. The bond was still there… her heart had called to him, and ‘Roman’s’ had answered.
Marlena slowly came out from the shadows, her face remaining fixed on his form, as if she feared that he would disappear if she lost sight of him for a moment. She opened her mouth to call to him… but no words would come out. They merely formed on her tongue and were lost to the surrounding night.
John turned. As with yesterday, he sensed her presence. He almost thought that he would turn and again the woman would have disappeared… but she was there, bathed in shadow. He couldn’t see her face, he couldn’t see anything except the shadowy outline of her figure. For a moment his heart stopped, willing him to recognize her… willing him to go to her. But he shook himself from his unhealthy thoughts and forced himself to look away. It was a dream… nothing more.
Marlena saw him turn away and she smiled slightly. She could see the recognition in his eyes when he had looked at her… and she knew that he couldn’t yet believe the impossible to be true. It was then that she spoke, the word merely a whisper, yet loud enough to break the deafening silence that surrounded the pier. “Roman…” She saw his body stop in its tracks, his back facing her. Tears filled her eyes… not tears of sadness, but tears of happiness. Like slow motion he turned, the disbelief hanging over him like a cloak… wanting to believe, yet fearing that it was another dream.
John searched the darkness, for the shadowy figure for some confirmation that it had been her voice that he had heard. She moved forward, emerging from the shadows, her face suddenly bathed in the soft moonlight, the tears glistening on her cheeks as she tried to stop them from flowing. “Roman… it’s me…” This time the words came out more forcefully… her melodious voice resounding off the water. John was in shock. He forgot all about the past few days, the fact that he wasn’t Roman Brady… all he could think about was her, his Marlena… standing in front of him. Time stood still as he shook his head, doubt painted on his face. “No…” it was whispered, yet he took a step closer towards the ghost.
He reached his hand out to her face, needing to touch her… needing to feel her silky skin beneath his fingertips. He was within one inch of coming into contact with the woman who had haunted him for three years… the woman whom he had loved… whom he still loved with his entire being He searched her hazel eyes, that were filled with tears, and he could see the love that existed there. Even after all this time, Marlena’s eyes were like a window into her soul.
Marlena felt his hand brush against her face, and almost involuntarily she closed her eyes. The sobs of total exhilaration pierced the quiet pier as her skin came into contact with his after all this time. “Doc… it’s you…” At some level the mumblings reached her ears, but they no longer mattered. All that mattered was that they were here… on their pier… together again. Marlena threw herself into his arms, and delighted in the feeling of his arms enclosing securely around her small body. She drank in his scent… the familiar scent… oh, how she had missed it. She tucked her face into his neck, totally oblivious to the fact that her wet tears soaked him. Her arms were tight around his neck, never wanting… never willing to let him go.
When I see him, he will look at me with all of the love that I know he feels and he will hold me and he will never let me go. How could reality be this good?
John could feel her body pressed up against him… her breasts resting firmly against his chest, her arms strangling his neck, her face on his neck. He reveled in the sensations of his love back in his arms. He moved his hands to the small of her back and pulled her in closer to him, as close as he possibly could. The world disappeared and they became like one being, neither one knowing where their body ended and the others began. John buried his face into Marlena’s soft hair, taking a deep breath as he rediscovered her… her smell… her soft curves… her delightful voice. Even though he had her in his arms, John still believed deep down in his soul that this was a dream – life could not have blessed him with the return of his reason for living. He drew his fingers through her hair, feeling the soft strands, needing to believe that she was there.
“If this is a dream I never want to wake up…”
They had been there, holding each other for what seemed like an eternity, when John murmured. He took her face between his hands and looked into her eyes, matching the love and adoration that he found in them, with a similar look of his own. He pulled her face to his for a kiss… a kiss that stopped time. Her salty tears mixed with his as John and Marlena tasted each other, their tongues dueling, the desperation and fear of losing one another evident in the passion that existed in that simple gesture.
Maybe reality was better than fantasy.
Today I found out from my nurse that three years have passed since I was brought to this room. They hadn’t thought that I would ever come out of my coma… expecting me day after day to succumb to a peaceful death. I took the opportunity to ask how I had gotten here, but her only response was silence. I asked about you, Roman… I wanted to know why you weren’t here by my side, like you always had been before. I think that I resented Roman in some way – for leaving me here alone to deal with day after day of loneliness and emptiness… uncertainty about the future. But I knew that it was unfair… I know that Roman loved me; I say loved because I realized today that I may never have the chance to be with him again. She told me that he thinks I am dead… he thinks that I died in a fire. I searched my mind for some remembrance of a fire… but again it came up empty. I asked about my children… and she told me not to concern myself with those matters. The longer I stay here, the more I give into despair. There is no way out… there is no way back… I will be stuck here forever.
When the kiss broke, Marlena and John held onto each other, not yet ready to break the contact. Words weren’t yet required… words would break the spell. “Get closer… get closer…” She whispered the seductions into his ear, and John smiled. He couldn’t be any closer to her if they were part of the same body. But he tightened his grip around her body, fearful that he would knock the wind out of her, so powerful was the embrace. For the first time he noticed how different she felt… her ribs more pronounced, her arms thin… too thin. He pulled away from the embrace, grasping her shoulders in his arms, looking her over in concern. He noticed how pale and gaunt her face looked… and although as beautiful as ever, he couldn’t help worrying about her.
“Are you OK? You look so pale honey…” He caressed her cheek with a comforting hand.
“Roman… I have been in a coma for three years. They kept me on an island… A week ago a plane came and I knew that it was my chance to get home to you… I was so weak but it was my only chance to escape…” Marlena explained, trying not to let the exhaustion of the past week overcome her. For so long she had been running on adrenaline alone, little if any food had passed her body… and now that she had gotten what she came for the tiredness sunk in.
“Who’s they? Who kept you on the island?”
“I don’t want to talk about him Roman. I was there in a big room. The nurse told me that I had been there for three years… since the fire…”
“The fire that had me convinced that you were dead… honey, I should have looked for you, I should have known.” John placed his head in his hands, despair filling him. Marlena drew his face up to look into her eyes, and she smiled, wiping his tears away soothingly.
“Honey, how could you have known? You can’t blame yourself for any of this. If anything, you helped me Roman… it was your name that I called when I came into consciousness… your face that I focussed on while I tried not to lose hope of ever getting out of there… I knew that I had to get back to you.”
“And now you’re here… promise me Marlena that you will never go away again?” John leaned his forehead to hers, so grateful that she was back.
“I wish I could promise you that honey, but I am not going to make a promise that I can’t keep. I can promise you this, though… I will always love you, as long as I live.”
“Oh baby…” Fresh tears filled John’s eyes as he was overcome with emotion. “I just… I…”“I’m sorry Roman. You’re in shock… maybe I shouldn’t have told you this way…” Marlena watched him in concern, the news of her return finally taking its toll on the man before her.
“No…” He grabbed her hands, placing them to his lips. “Don’t you ever apologize to me. I am just so glad that you are alive… and sitting beside me again…” Suddenly a thought struck him. “When did you arrive in Salem? Did you say that you got on the plane a week ago?”
“I have been here for four days now Roman… I…” She looked down at her hands, feeling somewhat ashamed for having waited this long.
“Four days… my god Doc… why?”
“I was going to tell you yesterday. I came to the pier… Somehow I knew that you’d be here. Then I saw her… Roman. Your girlfriend? Your wife?” She was calm when she spoke about Isabella, knowing that it was inevitable that the topic would have to be discussed.
“Oh Doc… my fiancé… Isabella… I’m…” He was stopped by her fingers on his lips. “She’s lovely Roman… I am happy for you… And you know I didn’t expect you to be waiting around for your dead wife to return…” Marlena stood, pacing the pier, trying to stop the tears as she hid her pain with her sarcasm. “I told you to move on… and I hoped that you had… I just… I just…” John pulled her towards him in a crushing embrace and rested his head atop hers, trying to stop her ramblings. “I know that you have moved on. For you it has been three years since we were last together, three years since I last slept in your bed; three years since the last time we spent a day with the children… and you have moved past the memories of us together…” John shook his head in her hair, mumbling his protests as Marlena continued. “But for me, the last day that we spent with the children… was yesterday…” Her voice cracked, and she struggled to continue, her mouth close to his ear as she expressed all that she wanted to say. “And the last night that we made love… was last night…” Marlena pulled back slightly, swiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. “That’s why it is going to be hard for me to see you together…”
“Shhhh… Doc, please just listen to me.” John placed his finger over her trembling lips, feeling the heat that radiated from them. He took a deep breath. “You have to believe me that if I had known that you were alive… I would never have been with Isabella, I would never have even looked at her like that…”
“Roman… it’s OK. You don’t have to explain this to me. I understand that you have moved
“NO… you don’t understand…” His voice was raised, and he lowered it, taking another calming breath before he continued. “It could never be a choice for me… I love Isabella, but no one will ever complete me the way you do. You are the woman that I will always love… that I will always yearn for.”
“Oh Roman…” The sobs started as Marlena heard the words that she had so longed to hear from his lips. “I love you so much… I know that things won’t be the same… and I know that our lives have changed so much… but I hope that we can at least…” Marlena was interrupted by the force of his lips on hers, in an unexpected kiss. She recovered quickly, returning the passion of the embrace with as much fervour as was given. She felt his fingertips lace through her hair, crushing her head towards his… trying to get closer… trying to release all of the passion that he hadn’t felt since Marlena had left his life all those years ago.
Fate had willed her return to him!
I felt that familiar twinge between my legs tonight, as I was lost in my fantasy. A fantasy of Roman… touching me… kissing me… making love to me. It has been so long since I have been made love to… three years… thirty-six long months… and now that I am aware of it, my body aches for release. I tried to resist the temptation to satisfy myself… to touch myself, as if it were him touching me. And I succeeded. I want the first time that I feel the release of my thirsting body to be caused by his hands. I want it to be his lips that send me into a frenzy… his cock that enters me and takes us both to the heights of oblivion. My Roman… my lover… my desire!
The passion heightened as John and Marlena deepened the kisses. Their tongues suckled on each other; desperately, hungrily, eagerly. John could taste her sweet lips beneath his… pausing occasionally to suck each one into his mouth, removing any trace of the lipstick that she had so carefully applied this evening. His hands moved from her velvety hair, and encased her neck, causing Marlena to shudder with delight… the sensations that he was causing with his calloused hands sending her entire being into overdrive. She ran her hands up his muscular arms, trying to rediscover the perfect hardness that existed beneath his shirt. “Oh Doc… How I have missed you, baby…” It was almost inaudible as John removed his lips from hers, and placed a trail of kisses down her exquisite neck, tenderly biting and sucking on every exposed inch of flesh. Marlena threw her head back, the desire evident on her face and in the soft moans that escaped from deep within her throat.
Almost savagely, Marlena reached for his shirt, ripping it slightly in her frenzy to get it open. She didn’t care that they were in public… she didn’t care that they could get caught. All she cared about was her need to feel his flesh against hers. While she was completing her task, John’s hands too had travelled to her waist, tugging her shirt from the jeans and pulling it up her body. He took both of her wrists in his hand and raised them above her head, pulling the shirt off in one smooth movement. He gasped at the sight of her almost naked body… the black lacy bra leaving little to the imagination. He noticed the dark bruises that blemished her milky white skin, and he looked into her eyes, the concern building. “It’s nothing Roman…” she panted. “It has been a rough week, that’s all…” John brushed his hand tenderly over the darkened areas, and then bent to kiss them gently. He delighted when he felt the goose bumps rise up over her flesh, his touch producing them.
“Oh god… Roman… Roman…” The words came out between short bursts of air, whispered into the night air. Roman… Roman… Roman… The revelation hit him like a ton of bricks. He wasn’t Roman Brady. He had been lost in the revelation that Marlena Evans Brady had returned to Salem… that she was not dead. He had dreamed of her for so long… had wished for a moment like this for three years, never in his wildest dreams believing that it was at all possible. So he could forgive himself for getting swept up in the moment. Again for an instant in time he had been Roman Brady… husband to the most adorable… most passionate… most sexy… and most sensitive woman in the world… But again it was only for a moment. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in that fantasy again… to make love to her with reckless abandon… to forget for one night that they would have to deal with reality in the morning. But he couldn’t do it to her, he loved Marlena Evans too damn much. John cursed the air, as he held tightly to the semi-naked woman in his arms, oblivious to her concerned appeals… holding tightly to the moment in time when his world was perfect. The world that had been shattered into pieces in the last week… and would be shattered beyond repair before the night was through.
“There is something that I have to tell you, honey…” The graveness in his voice chilled Marlena to the bone. Her face drained of all colour… colour that had hardly even existed in the first place. John was concerned for a moment… he had never seen anyone look so translucent. But she urged him to continue with the look of absolute terror in her eyes. “I am not Roman Brady…”
“What do you mean Roman?” The words were whispered… breathed so softly that neither John nor Marlena were sure if they had actually been uttered.
“I am not Roman… Your husband is in the Brady household looking after your children. Roman Brady never had plastic surgery… he never lost his memory… he isn’t me. I am John Black.”
“No… No…“ Her head shook in disbelief, the rapid movements willing her brain to forget that those words had ever been spoken.
“Why… why would you say that to me Roman?”
John attempted to calm her thrashing form as she became distraught. He caught her as she fainted into his arms, the strain of the last few weeks, and the shock of John’s revelation, filling her finally with an inability to cope.
John clutched her in his arms, his tears falling freely into her hair… the sheer desolation consuming him. Fate had willed that they would be separated. But he wanted to hold onto this moment forever.
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The colour drained from Isabella’s face as she watched the tryst on the pier below her. She was so close to him… so close to them… she could have reached out and touched them. Yet they didn’t notice her. They were so wrapped up in the passion of the moment; the kisses wild, the caresses urgent. The sounds that came from both him and from her, filled Isabella with despair. How come Roman never kissed me like that? She asked herself, blinking away the hot tears that blinded her vision. Isabella didn’t even question the return of Marlena… it was typical. Marlena Evans Brady had been blessed with more miracles than one cared to count. Isabella turned to run… to escape the lust that she was seeing played out before her… to escape the pain of seeing the man she loved making love to another woman. But she couldn’t draw herself away, fascinated and fearful at the same time, by the passion of the embrace. One day John would kiss her like that… she would make sure of it.
Isabella almost cheered when John stopped suddenly. He must have realised that Marlena thought he was Roman Brady. The despair that she could see in both of their eyes saddened her… but Isabella knew that this way, John could be hers… Marlena would go back to Roman, and John would have no choice but to fall in love with her again.
Marlena sat on her bed, the anxiousness consuming her as she tried to inhale full breaths of air. She felt herself losing the battle, as her breathing became shallower and shallower. She gasped for air, her hands travelling to her throat as she tried to stop herself from hyperventilating. Almost slapping herself, Marlena told herself to think. She was a doctor after all. Marlena tipped the groceries that John had picked up for her onto the floor and held the plastic bag up to her face. She counted to ten in her mind, calming herself down with the continuous drone.
When she could breathe again, Marlena returned to her thoughts. John wasn’t Roman… Roman was back… Her head swam with relentless thoughts that plagued her. If what John had told her was true, then she hadn’t seen Roman Brady for six years… how would she react when he arrived here… how would he react… She lifted her dress, to examine the bruises that pained her flesh, and counted five… one on her breast, the rest on her stomach and abdomen.
I always thought that the only person who could ever consume me with such utter panic was Stefano Dimera. But today I felt a new kind of terror, a kind that chills me to the bone even writing this man’s name… I shook visibly as the feeling threatened to envelope me. The look of madness in his eyes… the same wild gleam that had been burned in my memory from that encounter all those years ago. It seems like such a long time ago… and so much has changed. Yet this is something that I can never forget, no matter how hard I try. My heart raced as he backed me into the wall, almost agonizingly as the scene played out before me in slow motion. He addressed me in the same cold and calculating tone that he had used that winter night. My name –
‘Marlena’ – rolled off his tongue as though he had been using it forever… oozing intimacy, although the only thing that he had ever wished for me was pain. In that moment I flashed back in time… to that horrific night three years ago… the night which had been the beginning of the end for Roman and myself. His words even now haunt my dreams. His low guttural laugh resounds through my head… “Run to your husband Marlena… run.” I remember Roman, my beautiful Roman, standing across the darkened street, the look of dread in his eyes as I dashed towards him, screaming his name… Wanting nothing more than to reach him in safety. He was the man who destroyed my life more completely than Stefano ever could have done. And God knows he has tried. Orpheus…
Although Marlena had wanted to forget all of the pain that Orpheus had caused her – to just begin her life again – she realised now that it wasn’t possible. Three hearts were about to be thrown into turmoil because of the return of two lost souls. Marlena knew that her nightmare had only just begun… and somehow Orpheus now seemed like her only link to the full and happy life that she had once led… when she had loved and been loved. Marlena would have given anything at that moment in time, to be back in 1986, preparing for the best day of her life… when she would renew her vows to Roman Brady. The bruises were now the only reminder of that part of her past… because in this world of uncertainties, there was no one that Marlena could count on… John wasn’t Roman… Roman had deserted her for six years. Without the bruises Marlena would lose a grip on the man who had caused them… the man who had set this catalytic plan into motion. And then she would lose her right to blame someone for the pain that they were all about to suffer.
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“Are you telling me how to react to seeing my own wife?” Roman’s voice was raised as he stood in the hallway outside Marlena’s room.“All I am saying is that Marlena is very emotional right now… she’s been through a lot… don’t just rush in there like a bull at a gate.” John threw his hands up in exasperation. He had known as soon as he entered the Brady household this morning that this probably wasn’t such a good idea. Roman had obviously been drinking heavily last night… the stench of stale beer and smoke clogged the air around him, and his eyes were tired and bloodshot. John only agreed to bring Roman to Marlena’s motel room after he had showered and changed and all evidence of his drunken antics had been erased.
He knocked softly on Marlena’s door… his heart going out to her tormented soul. “Doc… Roman’s here. Can we come in?” When he had brought her back here last night, John had realized just how much this news was going to affect Marlena… discovering that she had been living with a man who was not her husband… giving herself to him time and time again… all the while forgetting her husband as he had existed before this man had assumed his life.
He held Marlena’s trembling body in his arms as he carried her to the motel. When she had tried to stand at the pier, after what seemed like an eternity of sadness and confusion, Marlena’s legs had given out on her. The exhaustion had finally overtaken her. John didn’t know the extent of the ordeal that she had been through… but he was pretty sure that it had left her reeling from shock… shock that was evident in the way she was handling this situation now.
“What do you mean? We saw the picture… we saw the picture of you before the surgery. It was you… Roman!”
“I know… And god knows I wanted to believe it… I did believe it. But Doc, it’s just not true… and we would be kidding ourselves if we tried to deny it.”
“I have to see him… I have to see for myself…” The hot tears fell gently onto John’s arm as she tucked her head into him, trying to savour the moment of being in her Roman’s arms.
“Yeah I know you do… But I think that you have had enough excitement for one night. I will bring him over first thing in the morning. You need to sleep.” Marlena nodded, and screwed up her face, trying desperately to get a hold of the emotions that had overcome her.
“I’m sorry John… I’m sorry for acting like this…” Marlena put her head in her hands, and continued. “I just… I just… I mean I thought that the pain would finally be over…”
“I know baby… I know…” John whispered the words to her soothingly, as he placed her onto the bed. He sat beside her as she curled into his arms, and stroked her hair with all of the tenderness that he felt for her. “Please Roman… just hold me.” John placed his arms around Marlena, and crushed her to him, not willing yet to let her go. He watched as she drifted into slumber… her dreams of what might have been.
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“Doc… you in there?” Roman’s knocking was more insistent than John’s as he shoved the other man out of the way. Before Marlena could answer, Roman threw open the door to the room. He saw her there standing beside the bed… her blue dress bathing her skin in a soft glow. She looked like an angel… and for a moment he just stood there, unable to breathe for the sight of his wife. If he noticed the hesitation in her eyes he didn’t let on… for in an instant he had bounded across the room, clutching her to him with all of the strength that he possessed.
I can’t even describe the feeling that Roman’s presence instilled in me. It was like I was looking at a ghost… a ghost that I never thought I could possibly see again. My mind swarmed with questions, but the dizziness just kept pulling me further and further into a dreamlike state. I was lucky that he was holding me… I think I would have fallen otherwise. He was so happy to see me… and I am trying to convince myself that I was happy to see him too… but happiness is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How can I ever feel happy again? Numb – I am numb… and maybe that is a good thing. He kissed me and it was nice… maybe it was only nice because I miss the feeling of a man’s lips on mine. Roman wants us to pick up where we left off six years ago… he seems to have conveniently forgotten that I already did that 4 years ago… I picked up where we left off, only with John – My Roman. And now I am being plagued by memories long forgotten. I remember the day Roman died at Stefano’s hand. It is again haunting me. Just like it haunted me for the 17 months that I spent without him… until the day that John Black walked into my life. It’s hard for me to think of him as anyone other than Roman… I don’t know if I am ready to face the fact that he’s not! After all it was his face that I strived to get back to in those endless weeks of hopelessness.
I just realised that I have been so selfish in the past two days… caring only about my own feelings. Until this moment I haven’t even stopped to consider what John must be going through… losing his life the way he has done. And now my return must have turned his world upside down all over again. I know what John was like when he couldn’t remember his past… the ticking time bomb that became his emotions… Somehow I need to find a way to help him through this. But I also need to ensure my own self-preservation… I need to make sure that my heart is not thrown into any more turmoil than it already is… I don’t know how I could cope with that. Orpheus could never have known how completely he would destroy my life… abut I’m sure that wherever he is, he is enjoying my misery.
Marlena tried not to recoil when she felt Roman’s suffocating embrace. She was still reeling from the shock of seeing him standing there in the doorway… hearing his voice. And when he hugged her, it was almost as if Marlena was on the outside looking in… as if she could see herself as he continued to strangle her. Marlena took a deep, soothing breath and relaxed into his embrace… reminding herself that she loved him. It had always been Roman that she had wanted. The tears slowly escaped from her eyes as the reality slowly encased her body… seeping through her skin and to the depths of her soul. They were tears both of happiness and sadness, of peace yet of fear. Roman was back and as Marlena melted into his embrace… the memories of how it used to be encompassed her.
******************************
“Doc… my god Doc…” Roman muttered the words over and over again as he lost himself in the feeling of his Marlena being back in his arms. “How can you be alive? We thought you were dead… when I came back all I wanted was to see you… and you were dead…” Roman pulled Marlena from his arms and held her hands, seeing the tears that ran down her cheeks.
“I know that this is hard for you baby… but we are both back and we are going to be together like we always should have been.” Marlena searched his blue eyes with hers… trying desperately to feel the joy that she knew should have accompanied his return. “Smile honey…” Roman took her chin in his hand, and made the tender appeal. Marlena looked up and into his eyes, and slowly the smile spread across her face. For a moment she forgot about her problems… imagining herself back in 1984 with Roman at her side. Her face lit up with the memory of his love for her. Roman leaned his face closer to her, tilting hers up so that he could have full access to her soft lips. Before she could react, Roman had captured Marlena’s lips for a kiss… a kiss that spoke of his love for her.
****************************
John watched in despondency from the doorway. He had known from the moment that he had told Marlena about Roman that this would be hard. But he had hoped for at least some hint of uncertainty in Marlena’s eyes. He had seen the confusion when Roman stood in front of her… he had cursed Roman’s name when he had grabbed her to him… knowing that she needed some time to adjust and wanting desperately for her to have it. But when he saw the way Marlena’s eyes lit up when Roman told her to smile… his heart broke, the pain agonizing as he closed his eyes to shield them.
When he opened them again… they met Marlena’s hazel orbs. “John… could you let Roman and I have some time alone… please?”
Her tone was soft and sweet, the concern for his welfare darted through her eyes… yet those words drove a knife through his heart. John turned blindly, stumbling as though from inebriation… and ran as fast and as far as he could. And when he could run no longer… he collapsed against the nearest wall, and sunk slowly to the ground.
“Doc, you have to eat something, baby…”
Roman pushed the plate of food towards her, appealing for her to comply. Marlena hardly even heard him, as she pushed the contents absently around the plate. She looked up suddenly… “Roman… how are my babies?” The question took him completely by surprise, and he sat backwards, searching her face. When he saw that she was serious, the jealousy that had started to seep through his entire being consumed him. He couldn’t control the angry feeling that he had in his heart. How could she ask about the children… when nothing had yet been settled between them? Just two hours ago he had kissed his wife for the first time in six years… and since then she had made no advances towards him at all. How could the children even enter her thoughts at a time like this? All he could think about was taking her to bed… and the Marlena he knew should have felt the exact same way. Roman took a deep breath and hid his fury.
“The kids are fine… but you aren’t… we aren’t… come on Doc, you just gotta eat.” He attempted to steer the conversation back to them. Marlena stood up from her chair. She wrapped her arms around herself, noticing suddenly how cold the room had gotten.
“I’m not hungry Roman. Tell me about Carrie… How did she take the news that Ro, I mean, that John wasn’t her father?”
“The kids are having a hard time accepting it Doc. Especially little Sami… God, you know, she looks exactly like you.” Roman stood behind her.
“Yeah?” Marlena smiled, tears springing to her eyes at the mere mention of her daughter’s name.
“Yeah… she’s so beautiful… the same soft hair.” Roman leaned in to inhale the scent of Marlena’s hair. He stroked it lovingly. “The same silky skin…” He touched the side of her neck and bent to kiss the skin beneath his fingertips. He turned her towards him, and wrapped his arms around her waist. “The same luscious lips…” As his lips came dangerously close to hers, her soft whisper stopped him. “And Eric…?”
Marlena wasn’t ready to accept his advances just yet. She fully understood that Roman was a man with needs… and she didn’t blame him for his behaviour towards her. Roman believed that he had every right to be with Marlena… in every sense of the word. After all, he was her husband… and they had been apart far too long. She had sensed a hint of annoyance when she had asked Roman about the children and she put it down to the fact that he too was only just getting acquainted with his children… Marlena found herself hoping that at least the children would be able to make sense of this situation and deal with the new man in their lives.
I know that I should eat what they put in front of me… I know that I have to save my strength. I will need it if I ever get out of here. But somehow every time I put the fork to my mouth… I can’t bring myself to do it. Eating seems like such a normal everyday thing to do… but my life is anything but normal right now. Day after day I sit in this room, trying to catch a glimpse of the light of day from the small slit of a window that exists here. And day after day I feel myself growing weaker… both in mind and body. I try not to give into despair… but it’s so hard. Especially when he is here! He sits at the end of the bed, watching me… his smile so cruel, so knowing. Orpheus knows that I have lost hope, and it gives him pleasure. And that makes me even more determined to fight him… to beat him. Yet I still can’t bring myself to let any food pass my lips – because by doing that I feel like I will be telling him that I have accepted my new life. And I won’t – I won’t ever accept a new life that involves him. I will die first! Unless I can get back to Roman, there is nothing left for me anyway.
“Doc?” Roman went to stand beside the shivering Marlena as she stood by the window. “Why do you keep pulling away from me?” Roman placed his hands on her upper arms and rubbed gently.
“I don’t know Roman… I am just so shocked… This day has been so confusing.”
“I know Doc… but for me it has been the most wonderful day of my life. You are standing here in front of me… my beautiful wife.” He leaned down to kiss her hair, and wrapped his arms around her in the process. Marlena felt herself relaxing into the embrace, comforted to know that someone was with her… that someone loved her.
“I want to see the kids Roman… I want to see my babies…”
“Tomorrow my love… tonight is just about us…” Roman’s voice turned husky as he whispered the words into Marlena’s ear.
“Roman… where have you been for all these years?” The question was like a plea… she was searching for confirmation that he hadn’t abandon her… that he loved her like she remembered.
“Doc… I can’t remember those years… I can’t tell you where I was. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that I never stopped wanting you beside me…” Marlena smiled and lay against his chest… the chest of her first love and her husband. “I want nothing more than to make love to you right now Marlena…”
Roman lifted her head so that her eyes met his, but she looked downward almost immediately. “Roman… I just can’t… It’s too much for me right now. Can you just hold me while I go to sleep?”
“Of course I will… Just having you in my arms is enough for me.”
If you really knew Doc. If you really knew what I did for all those years… I would lose you forever. The thoughts filled Roman’s head as he relived his past…
“You can’t do it… you can’t let him hurt my wife… Stefano…” Roman was filled with a blind rage as he lunged at Stefano.
“Roman… Roman… Roman…” Stefano was
unmoved as he tutted softly. “You know that I would never let anyone hurt Marlena.”
“Then why are you letting Orpheus out of here? Why are you letting go the man who hates me so much… he would do anything to hurt me, and that means hurting Marlena.”
“Orpheus thinks that you are dead Roman… why would he bother hurting Marlena? He has nothing against her…”
Roman hung his head silently, knowing in his heart that Stefano was right. “Orpheus is our way of getting Marlena here undetected. He will find her and he will fake her death… then he will deliver her here to you.”
Little did Roman know at the time of the events that were about to transpire. Stefano did not want Marlena delivered to Roman… he wanted her delivered to himself. And Orpheus… well Orpheus had had another agenda altogether.
“Hey son… how are you doing?” Shawn Brady placed his hand on John’s sagging shoulder, as he stood facing the dark waters of the ocean. “Pop… I mean, Shawn… I’m sorry…” He hung his head, the agonies of the night overwhelming him.
“John… you will always be like a son to me. Don’t you ever forget that.” The sound of John’s soft sobs filled the night.
“Marlena is alive…” Those three words; words that should have been so magical but filled John with a deep sadness. If he was the one who was holding Marlena in his arms right now… those words would not have ceased to be uttered from his lips… but he wasn’t, and the thought of her in another mans arms filled him with grief.
“What do you mean?” Shawn’s astonishment was unmistakable.
“She’s alive. She’s with Roman right now…”
“Well the Saints be praised… Roman back, now Marlena… this is too good to be true…” Shawn stopped his rejoicing when he noticed the look of hurt on John’s face. “Oh Son… I am so sorry… What you must be going through…” He laid his hands back onto John’s shoulders.
“It’s just… Shawn, I know that she belongs to him, and I know that the kids belong to him. I know that none of it was ever rightly mine… but I love them, all of them… and I don’t know how I will bear to watch Marlena with him.”
John placed his hand to his lips, the memory of what had happened last night on the pier burned forever in his brain. “I know that Idon’t have a right to them… I don’t even have a right to feel like this… but as much as I try to stop the feelings from consuming me, I am powerless to stop it.” John stepped back and punched the wall with all his might, the pain from his already aching hand, rippling through his entire body. The self-harm was the only way for John to feel some release… some liberation from the emptiness that was threatening to take over his life.
***********************************
Isabella watched Shawn and John on the pier. She had made a habit of watching him lately… and usually on the pier. She was dismayed by the fact that every waking moment John thought about her– his long lost lover. Never once since Marlena Evans Brady had returned had he even considered his own fiancé. He hadn’t taken the time to call her to even let her know what was going on. Isabella found herself becoming infuriated with John… with the situation… but most of all, with Marlena. How dare she come back here and destroy all these lives. If she was such a kind and considerate person, why would she do this? How could she hurt people like this? How could she hurt John?
“I am here for him Isabella. You will never have him now that I am back…” The voice of Marlena filled her head, the lilting tone causing Isabella to recoil from the sensation. She looked around, searching for the source, but seeing no one. “Isabella you know in your heart that John will always love me… me… Marlena Evans Brady… You have already lost.”
Isabella shook her head, trying to remove the phantom from deep within her mind. “No, no, no, no…” She sobbed over and over again… but the voice kept infiltrating her consciousness.
“Give it up Isabella… Both Roman and John will be mine… I will tie them to my heart and use them when I see fit. You will never be in John Black’s bed again.”
*****************************
I still yearn for him, even though I know that he is not my husband. I want his body… I want him to give himself to me completely and fully, if only once more. I dreamed about him for so long. He is John now… it feels funny to write his name… John. I dreamed of joining together with him in reckless passion so many times. How can I now deny myself that pleasure? I wasn’t ready to give myself to Roman tonight… and I can’t help but feel that he was a little more than disappointed… like he didn’t understand why I didn’t want him. I remember when Roman and I were so connected… mind, body and soul. But now I can’t see the evidence of that… I can’t look into his eyes anymore and see what he is feeling. I could always do that before.
Maybe he has been through an ordeal… I guess that we have both changed. I don’t understand how he could be surprised that I wasn’t able to just pick up where we left off six years ago. I put the old Roman out of my mind so long ago… I fell head over heels for the new Roman… John Black. How can I go back now? Maybe I am destined to be with neither of them… I loved John because I thought he was Roman… and I grew to love Roman as John. This is so confusing… even writing it down gives me a migraine. But writing is the only way that my aching soul can find relief.
How did life become so complicated? I thought only a few weeks ago… locked up in that room, that it couldn’t get any worse. I guess I was wrong. I have a decision to make that will break at least one heart in the process, and I can’t bring myself to do it. How can I hurt him?… he has already been hurt enough. And tonight I promised him on the pier that I would always love him. How could I have known what fate had in store for us?
A single tear dropped onto the page as Marlena stopped writing. The words became faded and smudged… merging into each other as more drops followed it. Marlena glanced over at Roman who lay on the bed… oblivious to the fact that she was no longer there. The Roman she knew would have woken up when she left the bed… speaking in concerned tones, asking her if she was alright. Yet still he slept.
Marlena awoke, her body aching from the uncomfortable position that she had fallen asleep in. She was sitting in the rocking chair at the end of the bed where Roman was still sleeping. Her diary lay open on her lap, some of the words blurred from the tears that she had shed during the night. She flicked backwards… the pages seemed never-ending as she viewed them, wishing that they had never had to be written, yet clinging to the truth that lined their pages.
She snapped it shut, breathing a sigh of relief when she realised that Roman would have seen the open page, had he awoken before her. She went over to the bed, where her husband seemed to be tossing and turning in a restless dream. She was filled with compassion as she considered what he must be going through. She reached out to stroke his curly hair… the hair that she remembered teasing him endlessly about, the hair that she remembered all too well.
“You really need to get it cut off!” Marlena smiled as she ran her long fingers through his hair, which appeared unruly in the morning light that shone through their bedroom window. “How can I take you out in public like this?” Marlena stood, and licked her fingers, in an attempt to tease the curls into obedience. She didn’t notice the coy look that had appeared on Roman’s face, as his hands sneaked up to encircle her scarcely clad waist. “Who said we have to go anywhere?” The suggestive tone in his voice made Marlena’s stomach drop, as she felt the desire start to fill her body.
“Oh no you don’t…” She looked down at him, trying her hardest to look disapproving at his attempts to seduce her.
“But Doc…” Roman stood on the bed, and smiled slyly as his wife edged slowly backwards. Suddenly he pounced, and before Marlena had a chance to respond, he had captured her body beneath his.
Marlena smiled as she remembered that day. They were supposed to be going to a wedding, and by the time they had arrived, it had already started. She continued to look at Roman… searching his now peaceful face for some of the profound love that they had once shared. She stared at him for sometime, until his eyes fluttered slowly open, and she saw his blue eyes staring back at her.
“Hey beautiful…” Roman watched Marlena intently, delighted to see her standing at his bedside, and looking so lovely in the sunlight.
“Good morning Roman.” Her voice was hoarse from the seemingly sleepless night that she had endured, and the sound of it caused shivers of delight to travel through Roman’s body. Before she could react, Roman pulled Marlena down to the bed, capturing her lips with his. He felt her resist at first, and felt the anger fill his body, as he pulled her wrists closer, and probed her mouth with his tongue, demanding access. Marlena was shocked and confused, and tried not to let herself be caught up in the moment. But when she felt the urgency with which Roman kissed her, she surrendered, opening her mouth to allow him to deepen the kiss. She had craved the touch of a man for so long that she needed to let Roman do this…. Even if it wasn’t exactly what she had been picturing in all of her vivid fantasies.
Marlena felt Roman’s rough hands as they began to travel over her body, and she couldn’t bring herself to relax. This was so unlike what she had pictured… there was something lacking in his caresses… in her body’s response to his touch. Yet she forced herself to allow him to continue… pressing her body back into the soft mattress, and trying to lose herself in the feeling of the softness beneath her back. She was jolted back to reality when Roman’s probing hands touched her abdomen, causing her whole body to scream in pain as her bruise protested. She pulled back, her eyes closed to hide the tears, her lips pursed to stop from crying out.
“What is it Doc?” Roman watched Marlena’s face as she slowly opened her eyes to look at him.
“I’m sorry Roman… I just…” She considered telling him the truth about her bruises, but knew that she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She slid out from underneath him and stepped off the bed, discreetly holding her aching abdomen as she tried to dull the pain that radiated through it. “I’m just not ready for this yet…” She gestured towards the bed, and stared downwards at the floor. “I’m sorry.” She walked towards the shower, intent on spending the next thirty minutes wallowing in guilt and fantasies about where she truly wanted to be.
He backed me further and further across the room, his mere penetrating gaze enough to make me feel boxed in, in the oversized sterile room that has become my prison. His name ran through my head time and time again, as my mind screamed… Orpheus… Orpheus… Orpheus. I tried to close my eyes to escape his eyes… eyes that are to this day filled with the same madness, the same maliciousness that I saw in them on the night that he tried to take me away from Roman. “Marlena… How I have missed seeing your beautiful face around here…” He gestured to the room, and smiled at me… a smile that I can only describe as pure evil. And again I couldn’t speak. “Wouldn’t Roman Brady be happy to see that you are alive and well… and walking around like you never stopped…?” He edged closer to me… every single word that he uttered is burned
into my memory. It filled me with such utter
fear.
The next thing I remember, before he reached me was grabbing for my pen, and raising my fist to stab him with it. Poor choice of weapon I know… but it was the only thing that I had. Before I even had a chance, his fist had come into contact with my stomach, and I doubled over with pain. When I reached the ground, I only remember the feeling of his boot striking my body over and over again, and the sounds of his cruel laughter echoing through the room, filling my ears, vibrating throughout my aching body. Then I must have blacked out. Orpheus is trying to get his revenge on Roman. He is going to try to break me both physically and emotionally. He wants to see me become a shell of my former self… a shell of the once vibrant, and already fading, Marlena Evans Brady. And I have no idea how to stop him
**************************
Roman sat back on the bed as he watched Marlena walk away from his advances yet again. He tried to make himself understand that she just wasn’t ready… he tried to make himself be patient. But the sound of the hot shower water running was just too much for him. He imagined Marlena’s naked body under the water faucet and he felt himself grow hard with desire. He would make her submit to him, and he knew that she would enjoy it.
Just as he was about to join her, he heard the knock at the door. Groaning in frustration, he went to answer it, throwing it open with as much force as he could muster.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Roman growled when he saw John standing there. “If you must know, I brought Marlena’s children to see her.“ John indicated towards the three kids standing behind him. He was disheartened to see that Roman had spent the night with Marlena, and that he stood there in only his jeans. Until this moment John had continued to entertain hopes that Marlena would realise that it was him she loved… and not his name.
Roman saw what John was looking at and smiled smugly at him. “Can’t you see that you are interrupting us?” He goaded.
“I just thought that Doc would like to see her kids. And they have a right to see her.”
“Don’t you ever call her Doc…” Roman edged closer to John, his fists raised slightly as if ready for a fight. The two men glared at each other evilly… each one waiting for the other to make the first move.
That’s how Marlena found them when she stepped out of the shower. Clad in her bathrobe only, her spirits had risen as the warm water had spilled over her. Now as she saw both Roman and John in the same room, they dropped again… facing her with the difficult decision that she had ahead of her. “What’s going on here?” She spoke quietly, failing to notice the children standing behind John.
John looked up at her face, paled by the tension that filled the room. He instantly made his way to her side, concerned by the frailness that he could see in her body. Roman stopped him with a hand. “Don’t touch my wife…” He muttered the words under his breath. “Roman, can’t you see that she isn’t well?” John was exasperated and the words came out louder than he had intended. How could Marlena’s own husband – the man who claimed to love her with his whole heart – not notice that she was in pain?
“She’s fine… Aren’t you honey?” Roman stood beside Marlena, his arm around her waist. She smiled wanly at him, and nodded her head in confirmation, silently pleading to John with her eyes not to continue his line of questioning.
Carrie, who had viewed this whole scene with disbelief, could keep silent no longer. “Marlena…?” She spoke in a quiet voice from where she stood in the shadows of the doorway. Marlena’s hazel eyes looked down, and the tears of joy filled them as she saw her little girl standing in front of her. “Carrie… baby…” She held her arms out,
unable to move from the shock of seeing her daughter there. Carrie pulled the twins out from behind her, holding each of them by the hand. “Look… it’s mummy…” She spoke softly, as the twins looked their long-lost mother up and down. She pulled them closer to Marlena, and then collapsed into her arms. “I thought you were dead Marlena…”
“I know baby… I’m sorry about that.” She smoothed Carries long blonde hair, and then pulled away slightly, smiling tentatively at the twins. “Hey Sami… Hey Eric… Mummy’s back, babies… and she loves you so much…”
“Mummy…?” Sami touched Marlena’s face, searching it for a sign that this really was her mother – a woman whom she could only remember from her dreams. “It’s me Sami… And you don’t have to call me mummy right away honey… I have been away a long time…”
She didn’t get to finish her sentence, as Sami crushed her small arms around her mothers frame. Eric followed, and they knelt there that way for long moments.
The kids will think of me as strangers now! As much as I want to hold them in my arms… my beautiful Carrie, and my babies… I can’t do that to them. Not yet anyway. I can’t turn their lives upside down. Sometimes they are in my dreams. Carrie will be thirteen now… a teenager. How I wish I could have been there for her on her first day of high school. I can just imagine that beautiful blonde hair, her blue eyes so matured. I bet she has kept Roman going throughout this whole time.
Sami and Eric will be starting school. Sami with her beautiful blonde hair and big blue eyes. I wonder if she has grown out of those terrible twos yet. Eric will look so handsome… I’ll bet he is protective of his twin sister at school. Thank god for Sami that she has Eric to look after her. Because I can imagine that Sami took it the hardest when I ‘died‘. And if I go back there – if I get back to Salem… she will be the one to find it the hardest again.
Maybe it is best that I don’t see them. I don’t know if I could take the pain of seeing my babies look at me like they have never seen me before.
My life is moving forwards at last. As of tomorrow I will be moving back to my own house. I will be moving back in with my kids… I will be able to start to bridge the gap that was forced between us for the past three years. I saw the look in John’s eyes when Roman asked me to move in… when I agreed to move back in. I know that it hurt him, and I felt it tug at my heart. Before I could even talk to him, before I could explain… he was gone, like he had never been there in the first place. I need to talk to him… I need to make him understand. I need to find him. If I don’t, the utter dejection that I saw in his eyes this afternoon will haunt me forever.
Marlena wasn’t sure why she paid a little extra attention to her appearance this afternoon. After everyone was gone, she had finally had some peace and quiet… some time to plan her next move. Marlena knew that before she could move on with her life, she needed to talk to John, and so she prepared to meet him.
She saw him standing there, staring out the window, the door to his room wide open. His shoulders were slumped, and although Marlena couldn’t see his face, she could hear his anguished breaths as his head rested against the cool glass window pane.
“John…” The word was whispered quietly, almost reverently, as she reached to touch his shoulder. Marlena was shocked when John jumped forwards, out of her touch, like he had just been burned by her soft hand. She stepped forwards, concerned by the way he was cradling his head, trying to block out the world. “John… I need to talk to you…” John could smell her perfume as it wafted in the air… he could feel the heat of her body radiating through the cold night air. He wanted nothing more than to fall into her embrace and be lost… but he also knew that he needed to preserve his own sanity, and this would mean running away from her again.
Marlena noticed John’s hand, bruised and swollen from the self-abuse that he had lately been dabbling in. She touched it tentatively, and winced when she felt him again withdraw from her touch. “Is this how it’s going to be between us from now on?” She started to get angry, her tone accusing, as she placed her hands on her hips. “I’m just as sorry and as shocked as you are that his had to happen John… and I am trying to do the right thing here.” John turned to face the angry Marlena. He tried not to smile as he viewed her stance, the classic ‘ready for a fight’ stance, that he had grown to know and love during their time as husband and wife. As suddenly as the grin appeared… it left his lips, in its wake remained only the same emptiness, the same desolation that Marlena had come to recognise. “Talk to me John… tell me how you are feeling?”
Marlena reached her hand out to cup his chin, and tried to fight back the tears when he wrenched his face from her grasp. “How the hell do you think I am feeling Marlena? What kind of a question is that?” he spat, and almost instantly he regretted it. Marlena had done nothing wrong… and he was taking his frustrations out on her. But John knew that he couldn’t take it back.
He saw the strong woman emerge from somewhere deep within Marlena’s body – the woman who had been crushed by the ordeal that she had suffered at the hands of her captor. It warmed his heart to see it – maybe his Marlena would come back from the dead after all. “I don’t know, honey…” The endearment crossed Marlena’s lips before she could stop it. “I can imagine that it must be horrible for you… I just want to help you get through the pain that you are feeling right now.”
“Can’t you just stop being a psychiatrist for
one minute Doc? Can’t you just stop trying to analyse everything I do… everything I say? Can’t you just… can’t you just…?” John couldn’t finish his sentence… the words were coming out in angry bursts.
“Can’t I just what John?” Marlena looked at him with soft eyes, concerned eyes, and tried to soothe him with the tone of her voice. She hadn’t realised just how badly John had taken this… it unnerved her to see him like this.
“Can’t you just leave me in peace?” John stared into her eyes, pleading with her to comply with his request.
“John… I just want to help you. I know that you can’t just turn off your feelings… I know that you love those kids, and your job. It must have been such a shock to find out that you weren’t Roman.”
“That’s an understatement Doc…”
“I know it is… But Roman and I won’t cut you out of the kids lives. They will always love you, you know that right?” Marlena took John’s injured hand and stroked it gently. She led him over to the sink and tenderly washed away all of the dirt that had started to infect the wound.
“I know that they love me now, I know that the kids can love both Roman and me… but you… you can only love one of us…” John took his free hand and reached out to touch Marlena, forcing her to look up at him. He saw the confirmation in her sad eyes. “That’s what kills me Doc… because I love you. I could never love anyone the same way as I love you… and then I find out that it was all a lie… your love for me was a lie…”
“Don’t say that John… please? I did love you…of course I loved you…”
“Did? That’s the problem Marlena… It is all in
the past…” Marlena shook her head adamantly, trying to block out the truth of John’s statement. She absently stroked John’s hand, letting herself get lost in the feeling of his flesh touching hers. John was just as affected by her touch, and he allowed his eyes to flutter close, not willing to look at her in case her eyes confirmed his last statement.
“No you are wrong John. You see it was your face that I dreamed about… your touch that I wanted… your kiss that I craved…” She whispered the words as if they were forbidden, trying to push aside all her feelings of doubt and confusion about the situation. He brought his face close to hers, leaning his forehead against her. His sentence came out in a hoarse murmur, and his hot breath fell on Marlena’s face. “I don’t have any right to love another mans kids… I don’t have any right to love another mans wife… I don’t have any right to want anyone as much as I want you…”
“But… you do have a right…” Marlena feltJohn’s lips brush hers as she tried to formulate her thoughts. “We thought that… mmmnnn… that we…” Marlena mumbled almost incoherently as John continued to place tiny kisses on her lips, “…god… were married…”
Marlena placed her arms around John’s neck and offered her lips up to him for a passionate kiss. Instantly their tongues collided and they lost themselves in the desire that they found in each other. Soft moans escaped from the back of John’s throat, as Marlena whimpered in bliss. When the need for air overcame their need for each other, their lips separated, and Marlena placed her forehead back against John’s, all the while maintaining her grasp around his neck. “I dreamed of you making love to me for all that time… when he held me prisoner there… and I thought that I would never get to feel this way again.” She spoke so faintly that only John could hear her lustful confession.
“But Marlena… things have changed now…”
John couldn’t continue his sentence, as he felt her press her lips to his in another searing kiss. She pulled away. “But it hasn’t changed how much I want you…”
*************************************
“See Isabella – I told you that he was mine… I told you that I could have John anytime I wanted him.”
Isabella clutched her head, trying to claw out the voice of her competitor. She watched in horror through the window, as Marlena Brady made a move on her fiancé, kissing him and seducing him, and no doubt begging him to make love to her. Tears streamed down her face, as once again Isabella tried to stop herself from watching them… tried to convince herself that what Marlena and John shared wasn’t love. But it was no use. Her heart told her that she couldn’t compete with the love that John had for Marlena… and now, despite all of her hopes, it looked like Marlena had chosen John over Roman. “You’ve lost him… he’s mine… give it up Isabella…”
Isabella almost didn’t see the man who emerged from the shadows. He smiled at her, a sinister smile that made her skin crawl. He extended his hand to her in a gesture of good-will, and spoke in a cold and calculating tone.
“Hello Isabella…”
Roman glowered when he discovered that Marlena wasn’t in her motel room. He had planned to seduce her tonight… to make her forget that she had ever been with John Black. He could only hope that she hadn’t gone to him. He replayed their conversation from this afternoon over and over in his mind.
“You can’t expect John to just be able to turn his feelings off just like that. He thought he was you… he has been living your life for 5 years.”
“Don’t you think I know that already? Tell me Doc, how would you feel if you came back after 6 years and found that your identity had been stolen? That your kids didn’t even recognise you as their mummy anymore? That your husband had been sharing her bed for all that time?” Roman pleaded with Marlena to understand his point of view. He lowered his voice, and came closer to where she sat on the bed.
“That must have been horrible for you Roman…” she started. “But it’s not John’s fault. We all thought that he was you…”
“Yeah… but tell me one thing? Didn’t you notice that he wasn’t me when he took off his clothes, when he made love to you, when he kissed you?” Roman sat right beside Marlena, who had hidden her ashamed face in her hands.
“It had been almost two years Roman. We thought that you had changed… we didn’t know what extent Stefano would go to… What else can I say?” Her words were muffled, and tears streamed down her face.
“I’m not blaming you Doc…” Roman spoke gently, although inside he felt like he would explode. “But I need to know something… do you love him?”
“What kind of a question is that Roman?”
Marlena jumped from the bed and paced the room like a caged animal. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“I just want to make sense of this situation Doc… the same way that you do. I want to know what my chances are. Did you love him because you thought he was me… or did it go deeper than that?”
“I don’t know Roman. How can I answer that? The old you ceased to exist a long time ago in my mind… I grew to love you as John…” She looked up at Roman with tear filled eyes, begging him to understand.
“So are you saying that it’s John that you want?” Roman started to yell as he tried to grasp the meaning of what his wife was saying.
“No…” Marlena sobbed. “I’m just saying that I can’t turn off my feelings either. John will always have a special place in my heart, and that is something that we both have to deal with… and live with… before we can move on with our lives.”
Roman came close to his sobbing wife and pulled her into his embrace. She collapsed into him… taking comfort from being in his arms. “I need some time alone… can you give me that?”
Roman clutched the pillow from Marlena’s bed, and tore it apart with ferocity. This wasn’t going at all like he had planned. He needed to get Marlena into his bed… so that he could finally convince her that he was the man that she loved.
**********************************
While I was alone today I tried to remember when I first met Roman… I tried to picture his face, and remember how I felt when I was with him. But I couldn’t do it. I could only picture him as he is now, his black hair, those deep blue eyes, his body to die for. And I found myself wondering if I would have felt the same way about him… had he not been transformed. I find myself thinking too much these days… about so many things. These kind of thoughts haven’t crossed my mind since the first few months after he came back… when I loved the new Roman, but it was just so different in that jumbled time. Now I thank god for the love that we shared, at least until the day I ’died’. I think the new love came the day that we renewed our wedding vows… the love so much stronger… the desire for each other never sated. And it still isn’t sated… I want him with my whole being… sometimes my body aches for him so badly that I don’t know if I will be able to go on without him. I long to feel his arms around me, his lips on mine. I long to wrap my legs around his waist as he fills me completely, and sends us both over the edge into the world that is just us. I need him… I thirst for him. My Roman!
“You want me?” John’s voice was husky, as the words of the woman he loved penetrated his senses. He maintained contact with her soft skin, gripping her upper arms gently, as he looked into her eyes disbelievingly.
“I never stopped wanting you…” Marlena felt fresh tears trickle down her cheeks, and smiled when John’s calloused thumb tenderly brushed them away. She closed her eyes involuntarily, losing herself in the feeling of his skin contacting hers.
“Don’t cry Marlena… we don’t have to do this…”
John was cut short by Marlena’s desperate appeal, as she crushed her lips to his, not willing to hear what he had been about to say. “Yes we do… I want this…” She pecked his lips slowly but exquisitely between her tender appeals. “You want this…”
John couldn’t take it anymore. He took a handful of Marlena’s blonde tresses and pulled her to him for the most passionate kiss that he had ever experienced. In an instant, her tongue had penetrated his mouth, matching his passion with her own, duelling intimately. Every few seconds Marlena drew John’s bottom lip into her mouth, sucking at it, and sending shivers of delight coursing through his body. She felt his hands begin to roam her body, tracing the delicate curves of her long neck, before finding her pronounced collar-bone and caressing the skin that lay there. Finally his hands brushed her breasts, but didn’t pause there, instead finding the bottom of her shirt and pulling it upwards. Marlena pulled back and raised her arms, urging John to rid her of the garment.
The look in her eyes told John everything that he needed to know. Marlena wanted him. And he wanted her with every fibre of his being. Who would have thought that just a few hours ago, he would be standing here with the love of his live, about to make mad passionate love to her? He pulled the shirt from her body, and stared in amazement at the perfectness of her silky skin. He saw the dark bruises and gasped, his concern for her well-being putting his need for her on hold. He pulled her into his tight embrace, and saw her wince slightly from the stinging of her wounds. He bent his head to look at them, and caressed them tenderly… astounded at how the blemishes didn’t make her appear any less perfect to him. He was going to ask her about them, and looked up at her. “Not now John…” she breathed, when she saw the concern reflected in his eyes. “Just make love to me… please?”
He couldn’t resist any longer… his insatiable hunger for Marlena pushed every rational thought from his clouded mind. He just stared at her for a moment, revelling in the moment that he had dreamed of for the past few days… the past few years. Her hazel eyes were glazed in passion as she stared at him, pleading for him to cease the struggle within. Her voice was strained as she repeated her appeal in whispers over and over again. Her neck was slightly extended, giving John a perfect view of her delicate skin, and her body seemed flushed with an aroused glow. In an instant, John grabbed her face, pulling her to him with wild desperation. His lips were upon hers before she could respond, and they again found their tongues colliding, as their moans filled the room. Without breaking their erotic kiss, John picked Marlena up, carrying her to the nearby couch, and placed her down upon it. His lips found her temple as he placed a delicate kiss there, before quickly travelling lower to cover her face and jaw with feather-light brushes of his lips and hands.
Marlena closed her eyes, delighting in the feelings that John was instilling in her body. She pushed all thoughts of doubt from her mind… willing to forget for this moment in time that this was a forbidden act. Her hands travelled John’s muscular back as she raked her nails lightly over it, causing John to shudder in delight. As John’s lips brushed her neck, Marlena threw her head back in ecstasy, her eyes fluttering closed as she fought to control her breathing. She lost herself in the moment as John’s tongue snaked its way out to lick and suck the milky white skin, and soft sighs escaped through her opened lips. She reached to the front of John’s shirt and unbuttoned the obtrusive item… pulling it slowly from his shoulders, and caressing his muscular chest as she did so.
John ran the back of his hand down Marlena’s long neck, slowly and purposefully, hearing her sharp intake of breath as the goosebumps arose. He quickly replaced his hand with his lips, placing wet open-mouthed kisses where his hand had just been. He reached her collarbone, and nibbled at her flesh, biting and sucking gently as she arched her body to allow him more access. Marlena almost lost it when John’s lips travelled to her earlobe, sucking it gently in the most intimate of gestures. He still remembered all of her pleasure spots and delighted in causing her body to flush with desire.
Thoughts raced through Marlena’s head at a hundred miles per hour… she couldn’t even believe how sensitive a lover John was. He was so in tune with all of her deepest wants and desires. She couldn’t imagine anyone being able to satisfy her in the same way. She allowed her hands to travel to John’s jeans, attempting to unbuckle them as he had his way with her mouth, meeting his probing tongue with more desperation than before. She finally loosened the belt and unzipped his pants, pulling them down as far as she could. John moved back and discarded the jeans and boxer shorts, leaving his hard member springing forth, ready for satiation.
Marlena licked her lips unconsciously, imagining things to come, and she reached for him with her hands, wanting to feel the length of him. John pulled back and smiled at her, reaching behind her to rid her of her bra. His eyes roamed her naked chest, and he took her hands and pinned them above her head with one hand. With the other, he slowly inched his way down her body, playing lazily with her left nipple, then repeating his assault on her right. He descended onto her breast, kissing the edge, before making his way to the hard nipple, flicking and sucking it with his tongue. He heard her whimpers fill the air, breaking the silence with her passionate appeals. “John… I need… please… I need you…” Her back was arched as far as it could be… allowing John the needed access to her exquisite body. He placed his hands on the small of Marlena’s back, supporting her with his strong arms, while his mouth moved to her other breast… paying as much attention to it as to the last.
John moved his hands to the zipper of her skirt and removed it, lifting her bottom from the couch to pull it out from underneath her. She gazed at him with hooded eyes, nodding to him to continue, as he removed her panties. “John… please just take me now?”
Orpheus rubbed his hands together gleefully. He had known that the lovely Marlena Evans Brady would lead him to the answers that he required. All along his sick, twisted plan, had depended upon her reaction at this moment. Would she choose John Black or Roman Brady? Orpheus smiled, his face almost deformed by the site of the pure malice that existed there. He unfolded the page of Marlena’s diary that he had stolen from the book, and he wondered if she had discovered it missing yet.
God, I can’t even believe what he asked me today. He sat at the end of my bed, his usual position, watching me. The pain from his assault coursed through my body… my stomach and ribs ached. I haven’t had a chance to inspect the damage yet, but judging from the pain I am not looking forward to it. As usual I avoided eye contact, writing furiously in my diary, trying desperately to find something to fill my time. Then before I knew it he was beside me… I jumped so high, and my heart pounded from fright. He had that fiendish smile, the yellow of his teeth gleaming as his lips parted. Then he touched my face, stroking it in an almost unbefitting gesture to such a cruel human being. The last time he had touched me, he had thrashed me… and today he was acting almost like he wanted me. He offered me an ultimatum. “Give yourself to me… and I will spare you and your family from unspeakable pain.” Those words rocked me to the core. I don’t know what he expected me to do. And I couldn’t contain my repulsion when he started kissing my neck, squeezing my body like I was a rag-doll, the pain from my injuries shooting through my body as he continued to inflict more. There is no other word for Orpheus… he is a sadist, delighting in inflicting pain on others. I think this time he was aroused by it. I have had patients that have the same problem, but never have I seen one as cruel as the man that has become my tormenter. He told me to think of him as Roman… to pretend that he was Roman. As if Roman would ever manhandle me like that. I closed my eyes and dreamed of Roman rescuing me, and it gave me strength. And when Orpheus started to kiss my lips, I bit him as hard as I could, drawing blood. I felt like such a savage. I can’t remember ever biting someone before. But it did the job… he left me alone.
Orpheus snickered, and traced the blood that smeared the page. After he had torn it from Marlena’s diary, he had let the blood ooze from his lip and onto the page as a reminder of what she had done to him. He would always keep it… revenge would be sweet.
He viewed the scene in front of him with satisfaction, trying to decide whether to let this little tryst continue or not. Marlena and John were totally unaware that they were being watched, having been so caught up in passion that they had left the door open. It had given Isabella a good view of her ‘fiancé’ in the arms of another woman, and had worked perfectly for his plan. He had been watching that little spit-fire carefully over the past few days, just as she had been watching John. Orpheus knew that she would fit perfectly into his plan… and her questionable mental health only added to his plan.
He turned his attention back to the lovers, as they sunk deeper and deeper into each other. He decided to let them have their fun… it would make it all the more painful when his plan succeeded and they were torn apart, forever. In the meantime he was fascinated by the scene being played out before him… the body language that they emitted left no place for words, for instruction… only a deep connection that made John and Marlena totally aware of each others needs.
They were lying on the couch, naked. Orpheus couldn’t take his eyes off Marlena who was arched backwards into the lounge, the soft sounds that escaped her, filling the air with a purely erotic mood. She was grasping the back of the lounge, her knuckles white from tension, and every so often she would beg John to continue, her voice a breathless whisper. He had a good view of her breasts and even from here, he could see the dark bruises that he had inflicted upon her. He smiled evilly, remembering the pleasure that he had gotten from creating them, delighting in the flawless woman’s pain. John was busy exploring Marlena’s body with his tongue, but Orpheus wasn’t interested in him. He kept placing himself in John’s position as he watched… but he knew that he would never have been that gentle with her. Marlena was strong yet fragile, and he would delight in breaking her… causing her to feel pleasure when she wanted to feel pain. He would take her, and then he would taunt her.
********************************
An air of desperation now filled the room, as the sexual tension heightened. John was poised at Marlena’s entrance, their kiss passionate, their tongues swirling into one another. John raised his head, panting from the fervour of their last kiss, and looked into Marlena’s eyes. He searched their hazel depths for confirmation… for permission to continue. For even now he couldn’t believe that she had actually come to him… that he was about to join as one with the woman that he loved. All he saw in her eyes was devotion… the look filling his heart with joy. She nodded her head in an almost nonexistent movement, and gasped when John entered her, slowly at first.
It had been so long since Marlena had been with a man like this, and it took her a moment to adjust to the length of John. But he was patient, always sensitive to her needs… even when his own were unsatisfied. He reached behind her neck, caressing it’s nape and stroking her hair, as he waited for her to relax around him. She held his gaze, the traces of pain slowly fading, and she began to move against him, needing the contact to continue.
When he felt her become ready, John began to thrust into her, slowly at first. And when Marlena’s whimpers told him that she was ready for more, he picked up the pace… thrusting into her with an almost frantic speed. He stared into her eyes as they would flutter shut, and then open again. Her lips remained parted as she begged for more. John descended onto her waiting lips and he briefly silenced her moans as his tongue duelled with hers. He knew that she was about to come… a sweet release following their absolutely amazing foreplay. She cried out when she came, her walls tightened around him, and he followed her into their own world where only they existed. He moaned her name as he emptied himself into her, shaking from the violence of his orgasm.
John collapsed in exhaustion onto Marlena. After a moment he opened his eyes, only to find that hers were closed, her heart pounding against his, her legs still wrapped securely around him. He kissed her lips tenderly, and her eyes fluttered open. John thought that he saw love shining out from them, as she sighed… a sweet sigh, her breath tickling his face as it lingered on his skin. She relaxed her legs from around him and John slowly pulled himself out of her, rolling them over so that Marlena was lying on top of him. “That was amazing.” He took her hand and kissed the palm, all of his love for her displayed by this simple gesture.
“It was better than I even dreamed about.” Marlena snuggled her head into John’s chest and closed her eyes, forgetting for the moment that she had a husband and a sticky situation to resolve. For now, all that existed was her and Roman… the Roman that she loved… and the Roman who could satisfy her every desire.
It will be like the first time again… it will have been so long since we shared each other’s bed. He will be sweet and caring and gentle… yet our love-making will be passionate and unsatiable and desperate… like there is no tomorrow. But when it does happen… there will be a tomorrow. There will be lots of tomorrows and our lives will be spent making one another happy. And then we will never have to spend another night apart. That is as long as Roman still wants me…
Isabella strolled the streets of Salem, clutching the tape recorder in her hand, trying not to dwell on the sounds that she knew it contained. She cocked her head to the side as she reached the pier and stood in the very spot that she had seen Marlena in only yesterday. She stroked the railing and imagined that John was beside her, caressing and kissing her the way he had with her rival. “But it hasn’t changed how much I want you…”
She said the words out loud… using the same breathed tone as she had heard Marlena use only an hour ago. She threw her head into her hands in an anguished motion, clutching her hair as she tried to forget what she had seen… the evidence on the tape that she now clutched in her hand. Orpheus had told her that it could solve all of her problems… that the tape would throw Marlena’s life into turmoil if it fell into the right hands. But Isabella wasn’t sure. If Roman found out that Marlena slept with John, he could very well leave her… and then John and Marlena would be free to be together.
“No my dear you are so very wrong. Roman Brady could no more give up Marlena Evans than he could water.” His eyes had been steely and convincing, and Isabella had been unable to break the gaze… as much as she wanted to.
“He might if he finds out that his wife slept with another man…”
“And then the virtuous Dr Evans will just plead confusion about her emotions. He will forgive her and Marlena will never betray him again… The plan is faultless. John will be free, and you can move back in on him.”
Orpheus did seem to have a point. If Roman forgave her then Marlena would never go back to John… she would feel too guilty, too indebted to her husband, and she would never leave him. Then John would be hers. Isabella inspected the tape, turning it over and over in her hand, imagining the look on Marlena’s face when she heard it. Mortification… she could picture it now. Isabella smiled as she imagined the other woman’s pain.
“You can’t hurt me Isabella. Your sick plan won’t work. John’s legs are wrapped around me right now… not you. And I will make sure that tonight is a night that he will never forget.”
Isabella spoke through clenched teeth. “You are wrong precious Marlena. You think that you can use your body to win any man over, and that he will be spellbound by you forever. You think that men will just fall at your feet and worship you…”
“They do worship me Isabella. John will come running to me whenever I call… no matter if he is with you, or not. You will always be his second choice.”
“I will show you… I will show you that John is mine… and the pain you feel will destroy your perfect little world.”
******************************
“Dammit – she was supposed to be with me tonight.” Roman swigged another mouthful of rum, beyond caring that Marlena could come back to her room at any moment and find him there. He held up the black satin nightgown that he had found in the top drawer of the dresser. John had brought her some of her old things. He seared as he imagined Marlena wearing the skimpy garment for John… because she sure as hell had never worn anything like that for him. He imagined her wearing it, her paled skin in full contrast to the darkness of the lingerie. He imagined ripping it off her, causing her so much pleasure… and getting pleasure in return. Roman felt himself grow hard and he needed release. He stuffed the garment into his jacket and left the room, intent on finding someone who could help him achieve that.
Roman walked into the same pub where he had picked up just the other night. He looked around, hoping to see the blonde bombshell so that they could pick up where they had left off. But she was nowhere in sight. He ordered himself a couple of rounds of shots, and immediately noticed a blonde woman sitting across the bar. She was looking at him, interestedly. Roman squinted… from here she could almost pass for Marlena. Her hair was about the same length, and she was approximately the same size. She would have to do… Roman sauntered over to her, hoping that it wouldn’t take too much work to get her into his pants.
“So are you going to call me?” The woman purred, as she rested her head on Roman’s chest. Roman rolled his eyes, the sweat beading all over his body as he tried to relax. He pushed her off him and stood up, gathering his clothes from among the pile that rested on the floor beside the couch. He motioned for her to get up. “Take it off…” he demanded gruffly, indicating the black satin negligee that remained gathered at her waist.
“Can’t I keep it?“ The woman sighed, and started to gather her own things.
“No.“
“I don’t know why you wanted me to wear it anyway…” She huffed, and seductively removed Marlena’s nightgown from her body. When she had completely removed it, Roman made a grab for it, and stuffed it back into his jacket.
“That’s none of your concern… uh…” Roman couldn’t even remember her name. He grabbed his bottle of rum and took yet another swig.
“Jackie…” she was obviously hurt. “Does this have something to do with Marlena or whatever her name is?”
“How did you know about Marlena?” Roman grabbed her wrist and she pulled it away, the anger rising on her face.
“Because you only called me Marlena about five times when we were having sex…” Roman sighed sharply. He had been fantasising that it was Marlena that he was ravaging only ten minutes ago. In that skimpy nightgown. One day it would be her wearing it for him… Roman was certain.
********************************
“Honey?” John and Marlena were still resting on the couch, curled in an intimate position after their intense love-making. John smiled when she didn’t answer, and felt her heavy breath tickling his chest. Marlena had never been one to fall asleep straight after making love and John became even more aware of how much she must have gone through before she made it back to Salem. He stroked her hair in silence, soothing her, and he bent to place a tender kiss in its silky depths. Shifting slightly he lifted her, placing her on the double bed, and crawling in beside her. Marlena only stirred slightly, and sleepily reached for John’s hot body, needing to feel his warmth beside her. John scooped her into his arms, and pulled her tightly to him. He wasn’t sure what tomorrow would bring for them… but for tonight, he was totally content with being able to hold his angel in his arms. And if he was never able to do so again… he thanked god for letting her be his one last time.
Marlena felt the pain course through her yet again. She jumped and in an instant John was sitting up beside her, cradling her in his arms.
“Doc, what is it?” Marlena let out a sob and relaxed into his embrace, the warmth of his arms comforting her. She still throbbed from the experience of making love to John only hours before… and she realized that this was probably the most sleep that she had gotten at one time since coming out of her coma. She looked down at the bruise on her abdomen, noticing that the purple colouring had deepened slightly. She touched it tentatively, but only felt the dull ache that had been ever present since Orpheus had done this to her. She shrugged it off, telling herself that it was merely the lack of light in the room that made the bruise appear so dark.
John had his chin rested on her shoulder, the familiar sensation almost overtaking him. He placed his hand over hers, noticing at once what she was looking at. “Doc… what happened?” It was a whispered plea and Marlena didn’t even try to stop her silent tears from falling. She hadn’t talked about her ordeal with anyone… not even Roman… and she felt herself being drawn to tell John.
After all he was the one who had started to live this nightmare with her when Orpheus had kidnapped her in Stockholm in 1986. Before she could stop it, she turned her face towards John, searching his eyes for confirmation that it was okay to confide in him. She saw the adoration and worry in his intense blue eyes, and she knew that somehow she was meant to be here… with John… at this very moment.
“Talk to me baby… it’s okay. I am here for you.”
Marlena merely nodded in agreeance… her chin trembling as she prepared to tell him about Orpheus. She took his hand from where it rested around her waist and placed it onto her bruise… in a gesture of complete and utter trust in the man behind her. John understood the significance, and his heart constricted. He bent his head, and replaced his hand with his lips, trying to heal the wound with the love that overflowed from his heart. “Who did this to you?”
Marlena gulped, and cleared her throat. Yet the word still came out in a haunted whisper. “Orpheus…” She closed her eyes.
“Orpehus was the one who captured you?”
John’s voice was raised, and Marlena felt his body become rigid behind her.
“I’m not sure. All I know is that he was there after I woke up. My god Roman…” Marlena turned to face him when she realised her mistake. She saw the stab of pain as it crossed his face, and she reached to touch him. “I’m sorry John… Oh god… I’m so sorry…”
“It’s okay. I understand.” John’s eyes were firmly planted on the bed in front of him.
“Then why won’t you look at me?” Marlena pulled his face up to force him to look into her eyes. “It’s just so much for me to take in right now… I’m just confused.”
“I do understand Marlena, and I don’t blame you! It just hurts a little when someone calls me that… it reminds me of what I have lost.”
He slowly rubbed her back, encouraging her to continue. “Orpheus?”
“He came to the room one day after I woke up. I can’t even begin to tell you how frightened I was to see him there… but as soon as he came, it started making sense to me.”
“What did?”
“Well the last thing that I could remember was packing to go away on our ski-trip… and when I woke up I couldn’t remember if we had been on the trip or not… I thought that maybe I had amnesia.”
“No… you didn’t have amnesia…” John stated the obvious, his voice thick with anguish.
“That was the last thing you ever did Doc. I can still picture you… sauntering back into the house, driving me crazy with your body like only you can do. And then the confusion, the desperation I felt when the house went up in flames… my life gone, in one instant… poof…”
John made a dismissive gesture with his hand, and buried his head into Marlena’s neck.
“Mine too…” Marlena reached for John’s hand and placed hers within it, searching for comfort. “I mean it must have been Orpheus all along… maybe that was his plan for us. Not only to separate us, but to make us… well to make me… pine for you. He wanted me to be alone for the rest of my life.”
“But you got out of there Doc. You came back.”
“Yes I did… only to find that life was more complicated here than it ever was there. But anyway… you know how we always thought that Orpheus wanted revenge on you?”
“Yeah. Orpheus wants to make me suffer for killing his wife…”
“Well Roman killed his wife… not you John. I think that his little revenge game has become even more sinister now. He wants to get to me… it’s not about you or Roman anymore.”
“What do you mean Doc? What does he have against you?” John looked at Marlena in shock, encircling her further into his arms to protect her.
“I thought that he hated me you know. He… he…” Marlena pointed to the bruises, unable to speak. “… but then the next day he wanted me… and I think that he would have raped me… I bit him and he left me alone…” She hung her head half-ashamedly. “Way to go Doc…” John couldn’t hide his amusement at Marlena’s confession. Then he heard her laugh, the sound making his insides soar. He joined her in laughter… both unable to stand the seriousness any longer… and losing themselves in misplaced amusement instead.
They stayed that way for a long while, not willing to talk about what had happened between them… both afraid to ask the other how tonight would change their lives.
“Carrie, what happened?” Marlena rushed to her step-daughters side as soon as she saw her, the fear evident on her face. Even though she was not at the hospital under the most positive of circumstances, the familiarity of being in her old workplace washed over her, and a sense of control radiated from her. John stood beside her, closely, yet not touching her. He had insisted on coming along when they had received the phone-call just ten minutes ago.
“She fell. I was putting Eric to bed and then I just heard this crash…” Carrie’s voice was childlike, and she sobbed quietly. “I’m sorry Marlena… I was trying to look after her… I’m so sorry…” Marlena wrapped her arms around her and held her tightly, happy that she could at last be a source of comfort for her little girl. “Oh baby girl. You have nothing to be sorry for…” She felt the tears threaten to escape her own eyes at the sight of Carrie blaming herself for something that was so completely out of her control. And the sense of dread began to fill her as it begun to sink in just how much she had let her family down again. She should have been there tonight for Carrie, and Sami and Eric. Instead she had been satisfying her own desires… with John. Marlena turned towards John and caught his eye… the look that she gave him told them both that she wanted to sort things out between their families once and for all.
“Where is your father?” Marlena spoke to Carrie, stroking her long blonde hair in soothing motions.
“I tried to call him first… but he didn’t answer his phone. I left him a message to meet us here.”
“Thanks sweetie. Look why don’t I go and find out how Sami is doing, and you can stay here with John?” Marlena looked at John, who nodded his head in agreeance. All he wanted to do right now was to hold her in his arms and comfort her. But he couldn’t… not until Marlena had made up her mind about what she wanted.
“Where do we go from here?” He spoke the words that broke the contented silence, the hope filtering through his voice. As much as he wanted to lie here forever, with Marlena in his arms, he knew that they needed to talk about their love. “I love you Marlena.
Nothing… not even my name can change that…” He kissed her palm and then looked into her eyes. He saw the brief hint of uncertainty through the windows to her soul, and he knew that even though Marlena had just made love to him… the battle between her head and her heart was far from over. “You can’t tell me that this meant nothing to you…”
“No I can’t tell you that John. Tonight was amazing… every night that I ever spent with you was amazing. But Roman…” The words would never be spoken, because at that point Carrie had phoned from the hospital. And within a few moments, they were gone, John’s question still unanswered.
John was interrupted from his thoughts by the sound of a loud noise coming from the hallway. He told Carrie to wait for Marlena to come back, while he went to investigate. The sound of slurred cursing filled the hallway, and John rolled his eyes when he saw Roman, collapsed against the wall… reeking of alcohol yet again. He was at his side in an instant, lifting Marlena’s husband to his feet by the collar of his shirt. “What are you doing?” He spoke through clenched teeth as he pushed his face into Roman’s.
“Ah John… how did I know that you would be here with my wife?” Roman looked straight into John’s eyes, his expression smug as he gauged John’s reaction. He knew that he had hit home when John sighed. “If Marlena sees you like this, she will be upset…”
“You think that you know my wife better than me, don’t you Black?” Roman started chuckling. John’s blood boiled as the rum on Roman’s breath polluted the air, enveloping John in a stale haze. “Oh for God’s sake Brady, get a hold of yourself. Marlena needs someone right now… her little girl is in hospital. And you show up… in that state. The booze is practically dripping off you.” As if to prove his point, John pushed Roman with the tip of his finger, and watched as he stumbled. “Get away from me. I’m going to find Doc.”
John sighed as he thought of Marlena. He knew that she would not take it well if she saw Roman like this, and as much as he disliked the man, John felt that he had to do what he could to avoid causing Marlena any more pain. He grabbed Roman violently and practically dragged him into the men’s room. He thrust his face into the mirror, and held it there, forcing Roman to look at himself.
“Look at you. Do you really think that Marlena would want to see you in this state?” John turned on the tap, the water gushing forcefully from the faucet. “Clean yourself up…” John turned away, disgusted with the sight of Roman. He waited on the other side of the room, as Roman splashed the cool water onto his face.
Roman’s eyes never left Johns. As he walked away, Roman could see the dejectedness in John’s posture. He also knew that it was because of him… Roman had destroyed John’s life and he was proud of himself for that. Now all he needed to do was to make him understand that he would never have Marlena. She was confused now, but Roman was confident that she would realise that it was him that she would always love. Now he just needed to get John Black out of the picture. The rage filled him, and he lunged at John suddenly, pushing him back into the window with as much force as he could muster. The glass of the window shattered and fell, droplets of glass raining down on the two men.
John felt no pain as a shard of glass sliced his neck, intent on finding some way to make Roman release him. Roman had a deathly grip of John as he pushed his face close to him. “If it wasn’t for you taking over my life…
Marlena would be in my bed by now.” John could only look at him dangerously, the fury suddenly changing his face into a mask of passion. He found his strength and pushed back against the drunken man with all his might. “Is that all you can think about at a time like this? Your daughter is in the hospital…” John bellowed.
“Sami is nothing but a drama queen, she’s fine.” John couldn’t take it anymore. He bunched up his fist, clenching as tightly as he could, his knuckles turning white from the force. Then he dealt Roman a blow to his face, the force of which sent him flying backwards into the wall. Roman sunk slowly to the floor, just as Marlena walked into the room.
The look on her face said it all. The disappointment was etched onto her delicate features, and John could see the trace of dry tears on her face. His heart broke, as she stared at him accusingly. He could see the pain they were causing her, the very thing he had been trying to prevent.
“What is going on here?” Marlena went to Roman who was looking the worse for wear. A deep purple bruise was already starting to form on his jaw, and Marlena inspected it carefully. “I’m sorry Doc… we just… we got carried away. How is Sami?” John hung his head in shame.
“Sami is fine. She has a broken arm. The doctor said she will be going home soon.”
Despite Marlena’s anger at John, she was grateful that he had asked about her little girl. “She wants to see you…”
Roman opened his eyes, the room spinning as he glanced up into Marlena’s face. “Doc…“ He was painfully aware of her hand touching his face, and without thinking he leaned upwards to kiss her. Marlena pulled away, her brow furrowed, her mouth turned downwards in revulsion. She had never seen Roman like this before… he reeked of stale alcohol and his eyes were bloodshot. Marlena sighed as she attempted to pull Roman to his feet. She supposed that she couldn’t really blame him for needing to escape their problems. A lot had changed in the past few days and she herself felt the need to escape most of the time, as she had done that tonight… in John’s arms.
“What’s wrong baby?” Roman slurred, trying yet again to plant a sloppy kiss onto Marlena.
“I think that you need to go home. We can talk about this when you are sober…” He was so drunk, he didn’t even notice the irritation in Marlena’s voice.
“I don’t want to go home without you, baby…“
Roman stood on his own and took Marlena in his arms. She surrendered for a moment, and then pulled back. “Please Roman… honey, just go home, and I will be there soon.” Roman nodded, and turned to leave. “See, I told you she would be with me…” he breathed spitefully, looking John up and down as he sauntered past, his mocking eyes shining with victory.
John’s head shot up, and he tried to control his anger at the comment. He looked towards Marlena, thankful that she hadn’t heard Roman’s taunting. He came towards her, and lifted her face to look at him. “I’m sorry Marlena. Roman and I… we just don’t get along. He resents me for taking over his life and I understand that… I shouldn’t have let myself hit him.” Marlena drew a deep breath as she stared into John’s intense blue eyes, and she knew that he was sorry. When she had entered the room to see John punching Roman, she had immediately assumed the worst about him. But she knew now that John was sorry, and Roman’s inebriation couldn’t have helped the situation.
“Come with me, I need to clean that cut on your neck…”
How could I let myself get into a situation like this? I should have known what would happen when I went to John tonight. I have been craving his touch for so long now, I should have known that my body couldn’t resist him. And now they are fighting over me… I know that John doesn’t mean to get so angry, but he always has been such a hot-head when someone he loves is being threatened. John loves me… and I don’t know how to deal with that. After sharing tonight with him I thought that I would choose to be with him forever… but it was only a fleeting thought. Now I just need to figure out my feelings for John… and for Roman. Did I love John only because he was Roman? Or was it more?
Note to readers: In this chapter Marlena has a flashback of the time she was married to John as Roman. I have used the name John in the flashback – unless Marlena is directly talking to him.
Marlena watched as John sat on the table-top when she instructed him to… like an obedient puppy. His features were downcast, and he had fixed his gaze on an imaginary speck on the floor so that he could avoid the look of disappointment in her eyes. “Are the kids OK?” He couldn’t take the silence as Marlena readied herself to clean John’s wounds, the first aid kit over the other side of the room.
“Yeah Sami will be fine. I am going to take her home as soon as the doctor’s release her.” Marlena made her way over to where John was sitting, almost smiling at the way he was slumped over, thinking that she was going to chide him for his fight with Roman. “And Carrie?”
“Carrie will get over it. Tomorrow when I move home, I am going to make sure she has a childhood again. She has been taking too much on herself lately…” Marlena looked at John and instantly regretted what she said as she saw him look away guiltily. “Oh John… I didn’t mean…”
“No you are right Doc. I should have made Carrie have some fun. I should have been strong for her…”
“No… NO…” Marlena reached for John’s cheek, pulling his face towards him and caught his gaze. She stared at him fixedly. “It was because I left that Carrie felt like she needed to be a mother-figure for the family. This has nothing to do with you John. I know that you did everything you could to make all the kids happy… and I will always be grateful to you for that.” Marlena turned away from the intense, love-filled stare that John was luring her with. All she wanted was for him to kiss her… to make the world disappear like he had only hours ago. When her world had been perfect. But she knew that she couldn’t do that… not until she knew what it was that she wanted for the rest of her life.
John immediately sensed her uncertainty as she turned away from him. His heart tore in two as he watched the wall build up around her again… her protective shell that sheltered her from all of the things that would hurt her, from all the problems that she didn’t want to face. He had been about to kiss her, the words that she had spoken about him had she must feel something for him… even if it was just gratitude. He wished with all of his heart that she would decide between Roman and himself once and for all, rather than keeping them all in this limbo… halfway to heaven just to be wrenched back to earth in one moment. But he couldn’t blame her for what she was feeling, and just to have her near him at all was enough to content him for the moment. Their love-making had been so intense that John knew it would satisfy him for months, reliving every sigh, every touch, every kiss, every feeling that had caused them both so much joy for such a brief moment. It was much more than he had expected… Marlena and Roman were married. He was merely an impostor who fell for someone else’s wife, and took advantage of that fact.
“What are you thinking about?” Marlena stepped closer to John and wiped a wet cloth gently over his bleeding neck. John took a deep breath as he felt the cold water touch his skin… his body painfully aware of how close Marlena was. If he shifted just a tiny bit, their skin would be touching… the electrical impulses surging throughout his body. John closed his eyes and forced himself not to move. “I was thinking about you… about me… about Roman…” Marlena stopped for a second, suddenly feeling stifled at the heat that had just filled the room with John’s words. “I wanted you to know that tonight meant the world to me…” He took her hand from his neck and pressed his lips against it tenderly, lingering there to savour the taste of her, the touch of her skin upon his.
Marlena closed her eyes, her heart beating faster and faster as she felt herself become lost in the magical web that had surrounded her. She tried to tell herself not to give into this again… not to let John’s love cloud her judgement… not to let the familiarity of his touch blind her to her problems. But as she felt his lips move to the palm of her wrist, she shuddered, her body and her mind reacting involuntarily to his sweet seduction. Her voice was shaky as she spoke, her delayed response to his earlier words… they were words that needed to be said. “Thank you.” There was such a finality to her words, as she slowly pulled her arm away from John’s travelling lips. “Let me clean you up, okay?” She looked downwards and into his eyes, as John nodded his agreeance, still shaken from the intensity that he felt whenever he was with her.
Marlena replaced the wet cloth, and with a tenderness that had not been there before she cleansed the drying blood from his neck. Her wrist still throbbed with the memory of John’s lips on its tender skin. Her breathing increased in speed as she again noticed her proximity to John, and she stepped away, with the excuse that she had to clean the bloodied cloth. The sink was behind John, and his back was facing Marlena, as she leaned heavily into it, clutching to its cool interior, begging for strength to resist him. Suddenly she felt the twinge from the bruise on her abdomen, and she took a sharp intake of breath, her eyes closing momentarily as she breathed through the pain. I have to get this looked at, she told herself… her brain rationalising what her heart would not permit. When she lost that mark… then she lost her connection to John… In her own way, she knew that what she was thinking was crazy, but the bruises gave her something to focus on… physical pain that took away some of the emotional pain that Orpheus had also caused her.
“Marlena… are you okay?” John turned and saw her hunched over the sink. He could not see her eyes, but he imagined that they were closed. He was about to get up to attend to her, when she whipped around to face him, a whimsical smile on her face as she tried to subdue John’s fears. “I’m fine.”
She walked purposefully back over to where John was waiting for her, and took the bottle of antiseptic from the table. She poured the smallest amount onto a cloth and gingerly lowered it to John’s neck. “This is going to sting a little bit…” She whispered. She knew how bad John was with pain.
“Honey… come back here…” Marlena laughed as John scooted away from her… across the bed to the other side of the room. “I’m fine Doc…” He yelled from his hiding place on the other side of the bed. “Roman… get your skinny butt back here right now…” Marlena began her prowl around the bed, slowly and purposefully, like a lion hunting its prey. She held the bottle of antispetic in one hand and a wetted cloth in the other, and she eyed the graze on his arm, slightly yellowed from the traces of grass that remained there. “Honey, I don’t want your arm to get infected. Think about all of the germs that are on the ground… they are all slowly seeping into your bloodstream, while you waste time running away from me…” Marlena fixed her eyes on John, her pleading tone playful… as he edged towards the back wall. “Come on baby… it won’t hurt…” John slowly made his way back up onto the bed as his wife approached him. He was enjoying this little game in their bedroom, much more than decency permitted. “That’s what you always say Doc. But believe me, I am not going to suffer for your mistake, my dear…” Marlena cocked her eyebrow, as she caught the suggestive tone in his voice. “My mistake?” she smiled sweetly, and stood onto the bed beside him.
“Yes your mistake…” Marlena placed the bottle down as she came within touching distance of John. “How so?”
“Well you distracted me… how could I pay attention to where my feet were, when you were standing at the base… looking like that…” he pointed to the low cut black shirt that revealed far too much of her ample cleavage.
Marlena smirked. “And looking at me like…”
“Like what?” Marlena slowly reached her hand out to John… who was yet again distracted by his wife. “Like you wanted me to take you home and ravage you…” Marlena’s breath caught and her movements ceased as the room became filled with electricity. She felt her arousal grow as she met her husbands intense lust-filled stare. “I have a great bedside manner… if you let me treat you, you might just get one of my special treats?” She spoke huskily, trying once more to convince John to let her clean his arm. “Ooh, well why didn’t you say so in the first place?” John moved towards her, his body barely touching hers, the chemistry oozing. “What would that special treat be Dr Evans? My choice?”
Marlena placed one finger to her chin, pretending to be thinking about his request. “I’m sure we could come to some arrangement… maybe a…” She paused briefly as John attached his lips to her neck.
“Sticker?” She smiled, as John placed his lips on hers for a tender kiss. “Try again…”
“A jelly bean?” She felt John’s hands travel to the back of her top and slowly ease it from her jeans. “Nope…” Marlena raised her arms above her head so that John could remove her sexy black top. “Well for some special people… I sometimes give them a kiss…” She looked at John as his lips again found hers, the kiss this time more passionate. “I think you are getting closer…” he breathed.
“Anything else would be unprofessional…” Marlena closed her eyes as the antiseptic filled cloth fell to the bed. She reached up to cup his face.
“So… I guess you can’t be my doctor then…” John winked, and began to make love to his wife.
“Doc, are you trying to kill me here?” John laughed, as he waited patiently for Marlena to do her worst. He hated antiseptic, but today he almost looked forward to it… if it would bring Marlena closer to him for even a second, then he was willing to put up with the pain. “I’m sorry!” Marlena blushed as she came out of her memory, the deep crimson glow spreading over her face. John noticed and smiled at how gorgeous she was when she blushed. He looked at her inquisitively. “I was remembering that day… at the picnic. You fell over while we were playing baseball. You were such a baby when I tried to fix you up…” The warmth spread through her eyes as she teased him.
“As I recall… I only agreed to come home with you so that I could get you into bed…” John winked, and immediately Marlena turned away. She didn’t know why it affected her so much when John said things like that. And again she wondered if it went deeper than lust. “I wish you wouldn’t say things like that.” Marlena placed the cloth onto John’s neck roughly, her annoyance at her own emotions plaguing her. “Doc… ouch… you used to be so gentle with that…” He winced in pain, as her movements slowed. “I’m sorry… I just…“ Before thinking about what she was doing, Marlena bent down to his neck, and in a familiar gesture she blew onto the cut. By the time she realised what she had done, it was too late to take it back. Her hot breath had already wreaked havoc on John’s body, and her own mind had become intoxicated with his scent. She felt John blindly reach for her head and lace his fingers through her hair. He dragged her upwards… his lips waiting for hers… as she gave into the passion that once again coursed through her.
He was the unseen stranger… the man who followed wherever she went… the man who planned on making her life miserable for ever. His evil eyes gleamed through the window, as he once again caught Marlena and John in a passionate embrace. Orpheus knew at that moment in time that Marlena Evans and John Black would always love each other… she would always gravitate towards him… in a way that she never could with Roman. It would make his revenge so much sweeter, when he saw her squirming in both body and soul… wanting John… yet knowing that she could never have him again. Orpheus glanced at his watch and knew that it was time for action. As much as he wanted to stay and watch what the lovers would do, he knew that he didn’t have much time if his plan was going to work. He just hoped that Isabella would live up to her part of the bargain.
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Isabella stood at the front of John’s motel room, anxiously awaiting his arrival home. She was cold and bored and nervous… and she glanced at her watch over and over and over again. John should have been back by now… and she couldn’t help envisioning him with Marlena… kissing her neck, fondling her body, sending her to ecstasy and beyond. “You won’t win Marlena. I will make sure of it.” She spoke out loud into the hallway, totally oblivious to the people surrounding her. She sunk to the floor as she heard the voice reply.
“Isabella, my dear… I can’t keep having this conversation with you. If John was yours he would be here right now. Instead who do you think he is with?” Isabella looked up, the tears streaming down her face… knowing that somehow this hallucination was different to the others. There standing in front of her, bathed in a soft white glow, stood Marlena… so ghostly, yet still so beautiful. “Why, why do you need them both?” Isabella’s sobs became choked, as she appealed to the apparition. She heard the sound of tinkled laughter… so soft, so sweet, yet filled with a mocking tone. Isabella looked up into Marlena’s face and saw the deep amusement there. “Because Isabella… you are not worthy of John’s love. If you were, why would he have come back to me?”
“No… no… no… it’s not true. He does love me… her does…” Isabella’s cries filled the hallway as the phantom slowly disappeared from her senses.
And Isabella made a decision right then and there. Tonight she would begin to win John back. She would make Marlena pay for all of the pain that she had caused her. She adjusted her clothing and waited for John to arrive, knowing that this plan was foolproof. Orpheus had made sure of that.
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Roman Brady threw himself onto his bed… the pain from his jaw now resounding throughout his entire body. He felt the anger begin to return as he glanced at the time, noting that Marlena was still not home… it had been an hour, and she had promised him that she would join him tonight. Roman decided to use the time well. If he was going to seduce his wife tonight then he would have to do it right. Marlena had proven to have a very strong resistance to his charms since his return, and he was determined to break down that barrier and be with her in every sense of the word. Tonight!
He pulled the crumpled letter from his pocket… the one that he had been carrying around for close to three years. His letter to Marlena… one that he had never been game to send. He smoothed it out and read the epistle, determined that it would be for the last time.
My beloved Doc,
I am so sorry for all of the pain that my ‘death’ caused you. You may never know just how deeply I regret some of the decisions that I have made. I thought that we would never be separated. I thought that you and I would be together for ever… Captain Brady and his devoted Doc. I know that you haven’t moved on yet… your loyalty is unmatched. But it has been two years and I know that if Idon’t get home to you soon, you may begin to mend your heart and love again. I can’t offer you any explanation for my actions, but I can tell you how deeply sorry I am that my life has come to this… that our lives have come to this.
I shouldn’t have believed him when he told me that he would send for you. That we could be together and happy in our new life. But its too late to change that now Doc… when I get home I will be a rich man. I will be able to give you everything that you ever dreamed of.
I love you!
Roman
Roman scrunched the letter into a ball, and set it alight over the fireplace. Marlana would never read it… she would never find out what he had done. Roman smiled in satisfaction and lay the black negligee over the bed… beckoning to be worn… Tonight Marlena would wear that for him… and he would rip it off her and make her forget all about the years that they were apart.
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John slowly rose to his feet, his lips never leaving Marlena’s. He could hear the throaty moans that sounded from the back of her mouth as he kissed her… and he knew that he had never heard any sound that was so welcome to his ears, as the sound of her need for him. He pushed her backwards, and they landed with a thud against the wall, the crash reverberating through the hospital tea room.
Marlena knew that this wasn’t a good idea… that she should stop this before it got too heated… before they had reached the point of no return. But his lips against hers… the feeling of his tongue exploring the depths of her mouth… the touch of his rough hands on her heated skin, made her give into her desire for him. She was a willing participant when John pushed her against the wall, but the force with which her back hit it made Marlena cry out into his mouth, the physical pain once again wracking her body.
In an instant he had pulled back, searching her eyes for confirmation of what he had heard. He saw the tears in her eyes, and he reached up to stroke her face. “Honey, I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s not your fault John. I… we… we can’t do this right now.” Marlena gently pushed John away from her and walked to the safety of the far side of the room. “Why not Doc? How can you say that when I know that you want me as much as I want you? We need each other Marlena… and the longer you deny it, the more people you are going to end up hurting.” John made his way slowly towards her, his voice soft and pleading. He cringed when she turned towards him, her hazel eyes flashing dangerously, the anger and resentment filling them to the brim.
“How dare you say that to me. You think that I am the only one hurting people John… well I have a news flash for you. You are hurting people just as much as I am.” She stepped towards him, her hands on her hips, her stare accusing.
“Oh and how do you figure that Marlena?” John raised his voice, the strain of the past week finally being released… on her.
“You think that it is so simple for me. That just because we had sex, I am suddenly going to forget that I ever had a husband. That I should choose you and just try to pick up some semblance of a life… from the shattered world that we all are living in right now. How can you expect me to make that decision lightly? How dare you tell me how much I am hurting people…” Marlena’s body became wracked with sobs as she finally exploded, all of her pent-up emotions escaping her. She felt John’s strong arms surrounding her and she relaxed into his body, crying against the crisp linen of his shirt.
“Don’t ever call what we had… sex. Marlena, tonight we made love… and no matter what happens next, I don’t want you ever to forget that, okay?”
He felt Marlena nod into his chest, as he comforted her, holding her and knowing that it may be for the last time.
Have I chosen him? Have I chosen to be with John? All I know is that I lose myself every time I am around him. I want to feel his touch… his kiss. I desire him like I have never desired anyone before. Maybe it is because I know that I shouldn’t be doing this… that I shouldn’t be feeling this way. Roman has done nothing wrong and he deserves a chance. So why can’t I bring myself to give him that chance? I knew that he wanted me when I got home tonight… he had prepared our bedroom… our bedroom, how strange it feels to call that room Roman’s and mine. I couldn’t do it though… I couldn’t allow him to make love to me… not when my lips and my thighs and my entire body is still reeling from being with John. So I turned around, not even waiting to see the look in his eyes as I hurt Roman once again. I don’t know why I needed to see him… I don’t know why I am always drawn to him. But tonight I wish that I hadn’t found him… because what I saw broke my heart.
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John couldn’t help himself. He knew that the only place where he could find solace… would no longer help him in that way. The pier was full of memories of Marlena… the person whose memories he was trying to escape from. But he felt himself going there anyway… needing the familiarity, the constancy… the one thing that had always been there for him since he arrived in Salem. He looked out into the calm waters… the eerie silence of the night a companion for his sorrow. He chided himself again for pushing her… for kissing her in her vulnerable state… for hurting her with his desperation. John could still picture the bruises that covered Marlena’s silky skin… shuddering at the thought that someone could hurt her in that way… that Orpheus had gotten to her yet again. John vowed to make him pay for all the pain that he had caused her… even if she wasn’t to be his to protect, he would do this for
her. He would make things right.
John closed his eyes and allowed fantasy to overtake his senses.
“John…” She was there, just the same way as she had been that night when she had returned, seeming now like a lifetime ago. She was smiling, his angel dressed all in white, and she held her arms out to him, inviting him to enter them. “It is you… it’s always been you… since the first time I saw you…” John gazed into her hazel eyes, shining with tears, and he saw the truth that existed there. Marlena wanted him… not Roman. John came towards her slowly, the moment prolonged as it is in dreams. And when he finally felt her arms close around him, he knew that he was home.
“John?” She stood there, holding onto his shoulders, as he seemed to come out of his trance.
“Oh, Marlena… I love you too…” She felt herself crushed by the power of his embrace, and almost sobbed when she heard him call her Marlena. He was obviously still in a dreamlike state and thought that Isabella was Marlena. Her head told Isabella that she had lost John forever… that his heart would always belong to Marlena Evans. But her head told her that she could use this situation to her advantage.
“I want you John…” She spoke the words softly, imitating the voice of his desire.
“God Marlena, I want you too… I need you so badly…” Isabella could feel the tears pouring down John’s face as he fooled himself into believing that he had won Marlena. She was shocked at the depths of his feelings for her. She pushed the thought from her mind, and leaned up to kiss him, feeling his tongue instantly duelling with hers, with the intensity akin to what she had seen him share with Marlena those few nights ago. She had promised herself than that one day John would kiss her like that… and now he was. I have won, Marlena. Soon John will be mine!
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Marlena hugged her body, shivering both from cold, and from what she was seeing in front of her. John was down there… on their pier… in their special place… with her… with Isabella. Marlena felt the tears trickle down her face as she watched the scene, disgusted at the sight before her. John was kissing her. She could see the passion as they lost themselves in each other, John’s hands cradling Isabella’s neck, as she wrapped her arms around him. Marlena turned. She had seen enough. She was angry at herself for believing that she and John had a chance… for believing that they could be together and work through all of the pain. She was angry at Roman for coming back… for destroying her chance of happiness. But most of all she was angry at John for running off to Isabella the moment she had started to pull away. She slowly stepped away, walking aimlessly through the streets of Salem on this moonlit night, mourning for the loss of something that she wasn’t sure was ever hers.
She began to feel uneasy when she heard something in the bushes around her. She whirled around to face whatever enemy awaited her, feeling almost dizzy from the sudden movement. She searched the darkness but saw no one. Marlena clutched her head… and tried to tell herself that she needed to get something to eat. She went to the vending machine and bought herself a muesli bar… opening it, only to find that she couldn’t bring herself to take a bite. Her ears pricked as she heard the whispered voice from the trees… “He’s waiting for you… go to him…” Marlena shook her head and forced herself to take a bite. “He loves you… and you know you love him… he is waiting for you… go to him…” Marlena tried to tell herself that it was her subconscious telling her what she wanted to hear… but somehow she knew that she had to see John… she had to talk to him. She swallowed the muesli bar, only to find that she couldn’t keep it down. Bending over in the nearest bush, she emptied the almost non-existent contents of her stomach, tears running down her face as she tried to deny to herself that she had a problem.
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Orpheus watched delightedly as Marlena took his bait. He slowly sauntered out of the bushes, making his way to John’s apartment, where the fireworks were about to occur.
Everything was going perfectly… Isabella had somehow gotten John to kiss her… he was taken care of for the moment. The fact that Marlena had gone to the pier, was merely an added bonus… fitting in with his plan quite nicely. Now she would have no reason to doubt that what she would hear at John’s motel room… was the absolute truth.
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Roman took the framed photo of his wife and John and threw it at the bedroom door, watching as the shattered shards of glass sprinkled downwards onto the carpet. His lips curled up slightly into a smile as he watched the symbol of John and Marlena’s life together shatter into pieces. He walked over to the photo and stepped on it, burying it into the ground with his foot, as he tried to crush John… tried to crush the memory… vowing to win his wife back. Roman was angry… he hadn’t come back here to lose Marlena to an impostor… and he would get her no matter what he had to do.
He could still see the shock in her hazel eyes as she had surveyed the room. He saw how her gaze had come to rest on the black negligee, and the ghostly apparition that she had become. Roman snarled to himself… she had been thinking about wearing it for John, he was sure about it. Roman heard the whimper coming from Sami’s room, and he ignored it… instead formulating a plan in his mind. Marlena admired honesty and selflessness more than anything else… so he would play on that weakness. Roman pulled his suitcase from the closet and began to pack all of his wordly belongings into it… knowing that he wouldn’t be going anywhere. He scribbled a note and placed it onto the hall table… then he went upstairs to wait, stroking himself as he imagined her lips on him tonight.
His eyes gleamed, becoming more and more excited with every passing moment. He could hear her footsteps as she hurried towards John’s room. He could see her flushed skin… both from the cold night air, and the exertion from running. He could smell the fresh scent of her perfume. And he could almost reach out and touch her from his hiding place in the cupboard. Phase one of his plan was almost complete!
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Marlena glanced around at the empty hallway, trying to shake the uneasy feeling that she had been experiencing all night. The feeling that somehow she was being watched… being judged. She shrugged her shoulders, telling herself that she was being silly, that she had done nothing wrong tonight. That she was free to do whatever she wanted, with whomever she pleased. But as she imagine John’s hot lips upon her breasts… his calloused hands on her hips… his hard body on hers… she could not help but feel ashamed of the feelings she had for him. The complete and utter lust that she had never felt for anyone before… the dire need for him that consumed her until she had temporarily had her satiation… the desire to be near him at every moment. Yet still the question remained… did that lust, that desire, that need… did that mean that Marlena loved him? Did that mean that she wanted to be with him?
Marlena placed her cool hands to her cheeks, in an attempt to diffuse the hot glow that had appeared there at the thought of her behaviour with John… at the thought of what she wanted from him. She looked in the mirror and saw the almost wild look that filled her brown eyes, and closed them to block out the image. She walked silently to the door, resting against it briefly before raising her hand to knock.
Her hand stopped in mid-air… frozen to its position… as she listened with disbelief to the soft sounds that were coming from inside. Moans… soft, desperate… the sounds of two people in the throes of passion. Tears slowly filled Marlena’s eyes as she rested her face against the door, involuntarily catching her breath as she strained to hear. Hoping beyond hope that she had been mistaken. She tried to rationalise… tried to tell herself that it could just be the television, a movie, someone else in John’s room. But in her heart, Marlena knew that it wasn’t… that it was John making love to Isabella… his fiancé… his future.
“I will always love you, baby…” Marlena caught the words as they filtered under the door. She slid downwards, as she knew beyond a doubt that it was John saying those words. Her mouth was open in a picture of absolute sorrow, as she tried to stifle the sound of the sobs escaping from her. She clutched at her aching heart… knowing now that John would never be hers again. She felt a trace of anger as it suddenly filled her… hadn’t he said those words to her so many times when they made love? Hadn’t he promised her that only tonight? Yet here he was, paying lip-service to yet another woman with those same words… making love to another woman in the same day as he had made love to her. “Look at me when you come…” Every other sound faded away as those words reached her. For a moment she existed in a vacuum… those words spiralling again and again and again. The sight of John and Isabella kissing urgently on the pier sending her world into nothing but a blurry image of her worst nightmare.
She rose from her crouched position on the floor, and stumbled to get away from the offensive sounds… the offensive images that filled her head. She didn’t see the room service tray as it sped beside her… and she was only vaguely aware of the sharp pain that stabbed her midsection as it landed smack-bang into her wound. She clutched at her stomach, collapsing to the floor in a huddled heap of despair… the emotional pain far much worse than the physical.
He is trying to break me… the emotional roller coaster of hope and despair is so much worse than the physical pain. Each day he tells me something different… first that he doesn’t want to hurt me and that he will eventually let me go… then that he will keep me here forever. I try to block him out now… the sound of his voice alone sends me into a pit of hopelessness. I no longer listen to his promises of a future. I know that there is no future for me anymore. I welcome the days when he is feeling brutal… the physical hurt somehow helps me to escape from his world of uncertainty. I know that I will never ever feel this kind of despair again… no one else could master it in the same way that Orpheus can.
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Marlena opened her eyes, squinting them slightly from the light of the motel lobby. Her memory was hazy as she tried to place herself… the pain in her stomach was excruciating, and she sat up to inspect it, breathing a sigh of relief when it appeared to look the same as it had earlier tonight. Her eyes were puffy, and dried tears stained her face.
Marlena opened her eyes, squinting them slightly from the light of the motel lobby. Her memory was hazy as she tried to place herself… the pain in her stomach was excruciating, and she sat up to inspect it, breathing a sigh of relief when it appeared to look the same as it had earlier tonight. Her eyes were puffy, and dried tears adorned her face.
“Well, well, well… Mrs Brady…” Marlena felt her insides drop to the floor, her mouth gaped open, and she jerked her head upwards… her eyes finally coming to rest on the evil eyes of her worst nightmare. She was speechless, as she felt the panic rise up within her… the fear which only he could instil in her. The adrenaline pumped through her body, and she could feel the thumping of her heart from within her chest… her senses hazy… her body preparing for escape at any time.
“I thought you would be happy to see me… After all, we did spend three lovely months together in your bedroom…” Orpheus stepped closer to her, the sheer look of terror appealing to his innermost sadistic desires. He could see her shudder as he approached, the repulsion in her body language making him laugh to himself, as he congratulated himself on just how perfectly his plan was working. She was playing right into his hands.
“What do you want Orpheus?” Marlena spat the words, her tone overcompensating for the need to hide her fear. She took a step backwards, her personal space becoming more confined with every breath that he took. She glanced around the room, searching for an escape route, her entire being telling her to get away from this monster… yet her legs would not comply.
“Is that any way to talk to an old friend?” His eyes gleamed as he teased her maliciously.
“You are no friend of mine Orpheus. And don’t think that you can get your slimy hands on me again…” Marlena’s hands flew to her hips, her eyes found their angry spark… as she challenged Orpheus to try to hurt her again. As soon as he found out what had happened, he would be happy anyway. He had successfully destroyed not only her life, but John’s and Roman’s as well. That was his master plan… to cause pain to the Brady family.
“Oh Marlena… you mistake me my dear.” He reached a hand out towards her face, tracing the delicate jaw line… as she fought to stop herself from backing down. If she pulled away from him, she was displaying her weakness. Instead she closed her eyes for a brief moment, trying to summon some strength from deep within. Strength that had become lost in the past months… but strength that she knew existed in her. “You have been crying.” His thumb brushed at her blotted cheeks almost gently.
“That is none of your concern…” Marlena turned her head away, finally unable to bear his touch on her skin. “I have to go…” She stepped away from him and moved towards the door.
Before she had gone two steps, Orpheus had reached her, grasping at her arm with a brutal grip. He swung her around to face him, and pushed his face in close to hers. “Don’t you ever walk away from me again!” He hissed, his eyes blazing with rage. “You have made that mistake once before… and if you ever do it again I will make you pay.”
Marlena stared at the crazed man… almost disbelieving of the intensity in his manner.
“Haven’t you made me suffer enough already?” the words were whispered, as if Marlena knew that she could send Orpheus over the edge at any moment.
“You think that your suffering was bad before… just try to ignore me once more, and believe me, you will wish that you were never born.” And all at once, he released her, flinging her slightly across the room.
Marlena panted sofly as she tried to regain her senses. She stared into his gleaming eyes, as a calmness seemed to wash over him…his personality changing at the drop of a hat. He stepped towards her again, and again she recoiled slightly. “So, how does it feel to get home… and find out that your husband has moved on without you?” He smiled cruelly, his browned teeth gleaming. “I saw Roman with his fiancé… looked like they were pretty cosy. Guess he didn’t want you when you came home, hey? Found someone better?” Orpheus watched in satisfaction as Marlena’s face turn deathly pale. “Well I guess you don’t watch closely enough Orpheus,” she spat. “Roman as you call him… is not my husband. His name is John… the real Roman Brady is back! You wanted to destroy my life Orpheus… and you have. Now you can just leave us all alone and let us get on with our miserable lives… and you can get on with yours.” Marlena turned and fled, her legs running as fast as they possibly could, her mind intent on getting home to the only thing that she knew she could still count on. Roman!
Ah my exquisite Marlena… you think that your life is miserable now?… Just wait until you see what I have in store for you next!
John hurried towards his motel room, his legs moving as fast as they possibly could. He tried to tell himself that it wasn’t Isabella’s fault… that he had made it almost impossible for her to stop what had almost happened between them… but somehow he couldn’t believe it. He breathed a sigh of relief when he turned and found that she was no longer following him, her short legs unable to keep up with John’s angry strides. He could still hear her pleading voice as she had struggled to keep up with him. “John… I didn’t mean it… I didn’t mean to take advantage of you…” He was almost sick to the stomach when he thought of the position that he had found himself in when he came into full consciousness. He had been having the most erotic dream about Marlena… her lips on his, her hands on his chest… slowly moving lower and lower. His hands roamed her naked breasts, his lips soon afterwards following suit. And then he had opened his eyes, not wanting the fantasy to end, yet knowing he would be kidding himself if he let it continue. And then he had found her… Isabella… exactly the same way as he had envisioned Marlena. All along it had been Isabella… the woman who he was kissing and fondling… and he jumped up in complete shock.
“Isabella… what are you doing here?” John spoke with pure frustration in his tone, and he ran his hands through his hair.
“I’m sorry John… I just… you seemed to want this so badly…”
“You knew didn’t you? You knew that I was thinking of Marlena?”
John hadn’t even stopped to think how much those words might hurt Isabella… all he could think about was how he had almost been unfaithful to Marlena. He promised himself that until she had chosen between Roman and himself once and for all, he would remain faithful to her. He didn’t want to be with anyone else anyway.
The look in Isabella’s eyes had told John all that he needed to know… she had taken advantage of his feelings for Marlena… his need to be with her, in the worst possible way. He sighed and thanked god that Marlenahadn’t been there to see it… in her fragile state, he didn’t know what she might do.
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A piercing scream filled the night air, as Isabella let out all of her frustrations. She didn’t care who could hear… didn’t even care if John was still in range. She wanted him to pay for hurting her again… she wanted Marlena Brady to pay for monopolising his affections yet again.
“I will die before I let you have him again…”
The screams reverberated from the water… as the image of Marlena began to float angelically towards her. “Come closer, bitch… I will kill you before I let you have John. He is MINE… you hear me? MINE!” Marlena just smiled and let out a happy laugh before disappearing into the atmosphere.
“You coward! Everyone says that you are such a strong person… who will stand up for herself no matter what. Well come and face me Dr Evans… come and tell me to my face what I know you are thinking. I will despise you forever… and believe me, I will make you pay for hurting me!”
Isabella didn’t hear the soft footsteps behind her, until Orpheus laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. “All in good time, my dear… My plan worked perfectly tonight. Marlena heard the tape… she thinks that John made love to you tonight. Her pride won’t let her go back to him in a hurry…” Without another word, Orpheus turned, and walked away purposefully, the smile growing on his face as he thought of how the unstable Isabella could strengthen his plans for Marlena and John.
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Marlena paused at the front door to the Brady house… her house… and wiped her face frantically, trying to rid it of some of the evidence of the trauma that she had just been through. How she wanted to run to John and tell him about Orpheus… if she hadn’t have heard and seen what she did tonight… at the pier, and in his motel room… then it would be John who she would be preparing to meet right now. He would have been able to take away all of her fears.
Marlena clutched her head, trying desperately to stop the piercing headache that now existed there. She wasn’t looking forward to this confrontation with Roman… after she had so rudely run out on him before, she knew that he would be upset. She just hoped that she could convince him to be a source of comfort for her tonight… to hold her and keep her safe from harm.
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Roman heard her at the front door… trying, he supposed… to work up the courage to come inside. It was time to put his foolproof plan into action. Picking up his bag, he slowly thudded down the stairs, the dejection on his face only half-real.
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She put her hand slowly on the doorknob… and noticed how translucent her skin had become. She found herself pondering what it would be like for her to die… the relief washed over her at the thought of being free from all of her sorrows. Silently she chided herself for having suicidal fantasies… life could never be that bad. Yes, she had lost John… Yes, Orpheus wanted revenge… But inside that very door, was a man who she loved, waiting for her… waiting to love her in every way. Marlena smiled through her fresh tears, and turned the handle… jumping from fright when she saw Roman standing right in front of her.
“Roman… you scared me…” Marlena laughed softly, as she looked up at him. Her amusement didn’t last long as she noticed the grave expression that painted his face. She glanced down at the bag in his hand… and she felt her world shatter yet again. He was leaving her… The only person left in the world who could keep her safe… was leaving her. Now Marlena would have no-one. She would be all alone. This was not how she had pictured her life.
In an instant she was at his side, the tears pouring down her face, as her heart broke again. She grabbed his hand that held his bag and tried frantically to pry it free… but he would not release it, and stepped slowly around her… towards the door that would end their relationship forever. “Roman… no… you can’t go…” She spoke between sobs, as she followed him and grasped at his shoulders, trying with all of her might to stop him from leaving. “Why would you do this?… Why?”“Marlena… I’m sorry… it’s clear that you don’t have a place for me in your life any more. I do understand… I just can’t stay here… pretending that everything is okay between us.” He didn’t even turn to look at her, as she slowly fell to her knees behind him, shaking her head as she tried to rid her mind of the words that he was mumbling. She seized his legs with her arms, not even caring that she was grovelling… just needing for something in her life to go right for once. If Roman walked out that door… her life would be over… she might as well end it herself. In one night she had lost John… her heart… and her feeling of safety. If she lost Roman too… she couldn’t even face the thought of the empty life that she would have to endure.
As Roman stepped away from her, she fell into a slump on the floor, hugging her entire body as the pain of losing everything, filled her to the brim.
Roman chose this precise moment to turn around. He knew that he had caused his wife enough anguish to make her take him back… to force her to give herself to him, body and soul. Roman knew that before this night was over… he would have had Marlena. It was the moment that he had dreamed of for so many nights.
He hadn’t expected to feel such remorse… such pity… as she lay there, her pale cheek resting against the cool wooden tiles, her tears soaking the floor, her anguished sobs muffled by her hands which made a futile attempt to stop the cries. She looked up at him… and the look of pure devastation in those hazel orbs struck him. Roman was feeling regret for the first time in many years.
Stefano had cured him of all decent human emotions… all except love, because Roman knew that he would love Marlena forever. But while he looked down into her scared eyes, he also knew that this would work to his advantage… Marlena needed somebody… and he just happened to be there. Tonight she would be his.
Roman sat down beside her, and pulled her crumpled body off the floor. He put his arms around her, and crushed her to his chest. Marlena allowed herself to be supported, and relaxed into Roman’s embrace… turning her face to his shirt and releasing all of her sorrow. Roman smiled as he felt her against him… he couldn’t help but grow hard with arousal as he imagined them making love in such a short time from now. For now he had to play the devoted and supporting and loving husband, and as much as it killed him… he knew that Marlena couldn’t love him if she suspected how cold he had become inside. He leaned his face into her blonde hair and kissed it softly, all the while caressing her arms and back with soft strokes… willing her to calm down.
“You aren’t going?” Marlena looked up at Roman with wide eyes, once she felt calm enough to speak. Her voice was pleading and childlike. Roman cupped her face, and pulled it closer to his. “You really want me to stay?”
She stared deeply into his eyes… and nodded timidly. “I need you Roman.” She closed her eyes, as fresh tears welled… and started to slowly escape down her face.
Roman reached up his hand, and placed his thumb to her cheek, wiping away the wetness. “I never wanted to leave… I just thought that you didn’t love me any more.” He placed his forehead against hers, and smirked when she didn’t pull away. He knew that he had Marlena right where he wanted her.
“I was just confused Roman… things were just so overwhelming… I just couldn’t…” Marlena put her arms around his neck, in a soothing gesture… and was struck by how familiar this felt.
“Do you still love me?” Marlena was startled, and she pulled back, searching his eyes for a sign of the man she once knew. He smiled at her… and she was filled with warmth. “Yes Roman… I have always loved you…”
Roman knew that now was the time to act. He tried to hide the smug feeling that filled his entire being. So Marlena did love him. He leaned in… and placed his lips on hers for a probing kiss… his tongue begging at once for entry to her mouth. Marlena complied, needing to feel that she was loved… needing to make up for all that she had put Roman through in the past few days. She met his tongue with hers tentatively at first… but soon lost herself in the possessiveness of his kisses.
Marlena awoke, the grogginess clouding her senses. She felt a warm body next to hers, and she instantly turned… hoping to see John beside her. But when she saw Roman… fast asleep, his snores filling the room… she remembered all that had happened. She slowly eased herself from his embrace, hoping not to wake him… hoping to avoid the awkwardness that she was sure would come with the morning after.
She closed the bathroom door and breathed a sigh of relief. Last night Roman was so kind and caring and sweet. He hadn’t left her… he had forgiven her for her doubts. One thing had led to another, and before she knew it… they were on the lounge, making love for the first time in five years. It had been so familiar… yet somehow different. It no longer filled her with the passion that she once felt for Roman… it no longer filled her with the satisfaction afterwards. Marlena smiled as she remembered how he hadn’t been able to get enough of her… how he had torn at her clothes like a mad-man. He still loved her and he still wanted her so badly… that made her happy. At least she wasn’t going to lose everything.
She slowly undressed and turned on the hot water of the shower, looking down at the bruise on her abdomen and again worrying about its existence. Last night she had tried to stop Roman from seeing it… tried to prevent him from taking off her shirt… but he had eventually insisted.
“Honey… I want this off you… and now!” He demanded, tugging at the bottom of Marlena’s shirt. Her hands flew down to where he was trying to remove it, pulling it back downwards in a protective motion. “Roman… please… I don’t… I want you… now!” She spoke between kisses, trying to convince him to leave it alone.
“I want to see you… all of you!” With that, Roman pried her hands away, and removed the shirt.
Marlena felt anxious, not knowing whether he had seen it or not. Her hands had flown to the light switch, and dimmed them completely… wanting to avoid the questions that his seeing the bruise would no doubt bring. Her hand had then flown to her stomach in an attempt to block his view. And right afterwards she had gotten dressed, not willing to sleep naked beside him. He hadn’t seemed to notice… and if he did, then he hadn’t said anything. Marlena couldn’t explian why she didn’t want him to see her… to know her weakness. Somehow sharing it with John had seemed so right… painful for both of them, but right! It just wasn’t the same with Roman… not yet anyway. Marlena found herself hoping that she would grow to love Roman again, as she had before. All it would take was some time.
Suddenly she was awoken from her thoughts by the sound of an insistent knock at the door. “Marlena… honey… let me in…” Marlena leaned against the shower wall, breathing a sigh of relief that she had locked the door. She wasn’t ready to face Roman yet… and if he saw her in the shower, then he would see the bruises for sure. “Doc… come on… let me join you?”
“Roman… honey… I’m not feeling well. I’ll be out soon!” She wasn’t lying… she had a pounding headache, and her whole body throbbed in pain from her encounter with the room service trolley last night.
“Doc… if there is something wrong, let me in… I want to help you.”
“I just need to be alone right now. I will be right there… sorry honey!” She felt her tense body relax as Roman gave in and left her in peace, and she let the hot water soak through her, relaxing her and preparing herself for the long weeks ahead.
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For what seemed like the hundredth time since Marlena had returned, John again felt his life spiral out of control. He couldn’t even begin to describe the sick feeling that he got in his stomach every time he thought of her with him. He couldn’t even believe the scene that he had witnessed last night.
John had known as soon as he entered the hallway to his room that Marlena had been there… recently. He could sense her… could smell her unique scent, the freshness of her perfume. He looked around to see if she was still there, but he could see no one. He allowed himself to close his eyes for just a moment as he breathed her in.
In that instant, he had sensed her fear… the intensity of the feeling frightened him like nothing ever had before. Marlena was in danger… he just knew it, and he had to get to her before any harm had come to her. He could almost see her scared eyes… searching for him… the large tears dripping down her face as she called his name. John rushed out into the night… his legs running as fast as he could possibly go.
The first logical stop was the Brady house. If Marlena wasn’t there then Roman might know where she was. And when he looked through the window, his heart broke. She was there… slumped on the floor, her tears cascading down her cheeks. He wanted to go to her… he wanted to gather her into his arms and assure her that nothing was as bad as it seemed. But he knew that his words would be meaningless. Things seemed so desolate right now… for all of them. And Marlena was the one who had to bear the entire brunt of it on her shoulders… it was she that had to make the ultimate decision. Just as he was about to enter… Roman beat him to it… picking her up off the floor as she collapsed into his embrace.
He couldn’t tear himself away as the tears filled his eyes. Marlena did love Roman… he could see it in the way she clung to him. He wanted to leave… he didn’t want to witness the scene before him, but John knew that if he didn’t stay he would always be left wondering what had happened. He watched as Roman asked her if she loved him… and her reply was what had sent his world crashing down around his feet.
John could still hear those gut-wrenching words, as she had whispered them so truthfully. “Yes Roman… I have always loved you…” Always loved you… always… He tried not to let them enter his brain… he tried to banish them from his thoughts. But deep down inside of him, John had known that those words meant only one thing. That Marlena had chosen Roman. And that was even before the kissing had started… the love-making. Suddenly she had been giving herself to him… in the same way that she had given herself to John that same day. He wondered again if she had been thinking about him while she was making love to Roman… if it had even registered in her mind that she had made love to another man on the same day.
John felt sick as he collapsed back onto his bed… trying to banish the image of his beautiful Marlena in the arms of her husband. He had forgotten that for a moment in time… Roman was Marlena’s husband. He would always have the upper-hand. John knew that he would have to let her go… and as much as it would break his heart to do it… he had to make it as easy as possible for her to choose Roman, totally guilt-free.
It was inevitable! Fate had willed it!
haven’t seen him for longer than a week… and I have to keep chiding myself for feeling empty. The day after I heard him making love to Isabella… he left Salem… without even a goodbye. No word on where he had gone or how long he was going for. He must have wanted to make it easy for me… that somehow being away from him for a while would ease my pain. But I find that I yearn to be near him. No matter how angry I am at him for moving on so quickly… for sleeping with Isabella in the same day that he slept with me… for not being there for him when I needed him… I still want to see him. If only to settle things between us for the last time. I can hardly talk… I did the same thing, didn’t I? I allowed Roman to sleep with me that same night! But I guess that was out of a sense of absolute terror that I would lose him too… a duty to my long-lost husband. I don’t know any more… and I guess it just doesn’t matter. I will be with Roman… and John will be with Isabella. As it should be!
Marlena read the diary entry as she finished writing it… asking herself if she really believed that this was how it should be. Had fate really chosen for her to be with Roman? Or had she just turned to him out of despair of losing John? She didn’t know any more. But today she was going to confront Isabella… she was going to meet the woman whom John had chosen… if only to try to find out where he was and how long he was planning to stay away for.
She found herself putting a little extra care into her appearance, needing to make an impression on the woman who had won John’s heart. She viewed herself in the mirror, paling at the utter mess that she had become. She generously powdered her face in an attempt to hide the ghostlike quality of her skin… followed by rouge to give her sallow cheeks some colour.
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Isabella sat at the Brady pub, having just learnt that John was coming back to Salem today. She hadn’t spoken to him since that night when he had almost made love to her on the pier. She sighed again as she remembered how angry he had been with her… how he had refused to even look at her as she slowly got dressed and admitted that she had known that John thought that she was Marlena.
So Isabella had taken to watching Marlena… delighting in the sadness that masked her face in those moments when she was alone. Isabella knew that she was pining for John… but she was satisfied that Marlena had decided to move on with Roman. John was going to be hers.
Marlena caught a glimpse of Isabella sitting at her table, and she took a deep breath, bracing herself to approach. When she reached the table, she did her best to smile warmly… as she spoke softly. “Isabella…”
The apparitions of Marlena had become more frequent now… floating into her subconscious at any given moment… and then floating out again. Every time it seemed more and more real… every time she looked more and more like a human being standing right there in front of her.
Today was no different. Isabella was hunched over her coffee, dreaming of John’s return. He would run to her and tell her that he was wrong to blame her… wrong to think that he could live his life without her. Then all would be well in her world again. Then she heard the soft word, Marlena’s voice calling her name. In an instant, she had raised her head, her green eyes flashing dangerously. She looked directly into her eyes and hissed spitefully. “Won’t you ever just leave me alone?”
The anger in her tone was unmistakable, the red glow of her cheeks told Marlena that Isabella did not want to see her. She took a step backwards, as the shock registered, her eyes welled up with unshed tears. Isabella was so angry and she didn’t know what she had done to cause it. “I’m sorry… I just wanted to meet you formally. I’m Marlena…” She faltered as she uttered the words, glancing around the pub at the staring faces of the customers.
“I know who you are… I wish you would just stop taunting me. Why do we have to keep going over this? John is mine!”
Marlena sighed softly, and she eased herself into the booth opposite to Isabella. “I’m sorry for what you are going through… and believe me when I tell you that I never meant for any of this to happen.” Marlena reached across the table to lay a comforting hand onIsabella’s.
She looked up suddenly, struck by how cold Marlena’s hands were… and she gulped when she realised that this was the real, flesh and blood Marlena, sitting right in front of her. For the first time, she could see directly into her eyes, and she was astounded at the kindness that she could see there… amongst all her own pain, she was being considerate of someone else’s feelings. Isabella tried not to think about the fact that under different circumstances, she would have been proud to call Marlena Brady a friend.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you! I didn’t realise…” She didn’t have a chance to finish her sentence, but she wouldn’t have known what to say anyway. She felt the slight pressure on her hands from Marlena’s knowing squeeze. “I know… I understand. I would be angry too if my fiancé’s ‘dead’ wife came back to claim him. But you have to understand Isabella… that John doesn’t want me, he wants you! I saw you two down at the pier, and I could see the passion in the way he touched you. He has given up on us… and I am with Roman… you are free to be with him.” As she spoke the words, the tears slowly fell down her cheeks. She tried to hide the pain that she was feeling, but to no avail. Her heart was breaking as she told the woman who had won John’s heart, that she was no longer a contender. She could do that much for John… she could do that much for Isabella. They would be happy together, she was sure of it.
Isabella smiled to herself as she came to the realisation that all the rumours about Marlena were true. She mumbled her thanks and left the pub, delighting in the fact that Marlena had seen hers and John’s tryst down on the pier. Marlena was a saint… and saints were the easiest to prey on. Marlena Brady had just sealed her own future… a future without John. Isabella laughed into the day… the sinister sound calming her and preparing her for the battle that lay ahead.
*************************
John stepped off the plane, taking a deep breath, and readying himself for the painful task that lay ahead. He had given Marlena and Roman some time to re-establish their relationship… and today he was going to talk to her, and tell her that it was over between them. As much as he didn’t want to have to do it… as much as he didn’t want to give her up… he knew that she deserved to finally be happy.
His mind was alive with fantasies of her… his arousal rose with need for her. He imagined her waiting for him at the airport… her arms open, willing him to come to her. He imagined kissing her delicious lips, tasting her sweet skin, making love to her like no man had ever made love to her before. He desperately wanted to be the man that she came home to every night… the man she would confide in. She would tell him that she loved him… she would hold his hand in public… she wouldn’t shy away every time he told her how he felt, and what he wanted. Like they had been before.
But that was nothing more than a dream now… Marlena would never be his. John found a cab and was on his way to see her.
Marlena sensed him before she saw him… somehow she knew that he was there, watching her. She turned around in the booth and her hazel eyes met his blue ones. Her lips turned upwards into an involuntary smile… she was so relieved that he was okay and that he was here. She stood up and moved towards him, as she whispered his name softly.
John could see her sitting there at the table, her back facing him. He was contented to just watch her for a moment, preparing himself for what he had to do. All conscious thoughts left his mind when Marlena turned to look at him, her whole face lighting up like a Christmas tree. John was so relieved to see her beautiful smile again… how he missed the way she seemed to light up an entire room with her happiness. Lately he had been wondering if he would ever see that smile again… but there it was, the tenderness making him feel like he was the only person in the world. He couldn’t help himself as he smiled back, and he took a step towards her. In an instant she was in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder as she spoke to him. “Oh John… I am so happy to see you. God, I thought that you had gone… I didn’t know when you were coming back…”
John pulled back, prying her from his grip. As much as he wanted to believe that her embrace meant that she felt more than friendship for him… he couldn’t allow himself to be disappointed again. He looked down at her wide eyes, and took her hand, pressing his lips to it with a gesture of absolute tenderness. “I’m sorry… I thought that you and Roman needed some time to… bond… I know that my being around wasn’t helping your relationship. I was always going to come back, I just couldn’t face you after…” John dropped Marlena’s hand, which fell limply to her side. He hung his head as he tried to stop the haunting memories of her making love to Roman… knowing that dwelling on it wouldn’t do any of them any good.
“After what?” Marlena probed tentatively, knowing that John did not want to talk about what was bothering him. “After I hurt you at the hospital…” He tried to cover, not wanting to devastate Marlena with the news that he had witnessed her with Roman. “I’m so sorry that I did that… I just don’t know what got into me…”
“It’s not your fault John.” Marlena took his face in her hands, forcing him to meet her eyes. “We both got carried away in the moment… and we just have to make sure that it doesn’t happen again…” She could see Isabella’s shadow as she turned her head to stare out the pub window. “I guess that you have moved on…”
Marlena tensed as she felt two strong arms snake around her back… and she jumped slightly when two lips placed a suggestive kiss on the nape of her neck. “Hey baby…” Roman whispered in her ear, his playful tone so out of place in the current situation. She closed her eyes in frustration as she felt him nip the lobe of her ear… and she turned her head slightly to look at him. “Come on Roman… not here…” She turned back to look at John who was staring at them, mouthing her apologies.
John turned his head away from the scene in disgust. How it pained him to see Marlena in another mans arms. He caught Roman’s eyes as they gleamed in triumph. He was marking his territory, informing John that he had won. He watched her face as she closed her eyes when Roman’s lips touched her ear… he remembered kissing her there so many times, knowing that just one touch there would have her aroused and waiting for him. John couldn’t help wondering if she was aroused right now… in Roman’s arms… wishing that they could be alone so that they could continue the little lovers tryst that was being played out right in front of him. He mistook the way that she closed her eyes for arousal, when it was merely annoyance that Roman had no respect for the importance of her conversation with John.
When she mouthed her apologies to him, John met her eyes. “I guess we both have…”
Referring to her earlier comment about him having moved on. He turned away and walked out of the pub, not looking backwards at her pleading eyes which would have told him that he was wrong.
*****************************
Orpheus was waiting for her when she left the Brady pub, having watched her the entire time. He had seen the way her eyes lit up when John walked into the room… and the way she pulled back from Roman when he kissed her in front of him. He had absolutely no doubt whatsoever now… that John was the man that Marlena loved.
Now it was time for phase two of his plan. He watched as she walked slowly to the pier, needing time to think about her situation… married to Roman, but still so attached to John. He smiled as the man brushed past her… mumbling his apologies as he so effortlessly placed the folded up note into her pocket. Marlena merely looked up quickly… before returning to her thoughts.
It was only a matter of time now!
***************************
John, too, had watched Marlena as she walked out of the pub. As much as he wanted to leave and never come back, he couldn’t prevent his need to just be in her presence. Just seeing her made him feel like he had something to live for. He pondered the argument that she had started with Roman… wondering again if it meant that she still had feelings for him.
“Roman… why would you do that?” She had asked, her face flushed from both embarrassment and anger.
“Do what?” Roman murmured as he moved in to kiss her neck. She pulled away.
“Put John through that… you know that he is having a hard time dealing with all of this. We used to be married you know, you can’t just erase those feelings.”
“You were never married to that man Marlena… you were married to me. You are married to me…”
“I don’t want to talk about this right now…”
Marlena started to walk away before Roman grasped her arm. “He had to know that he has no chance with you Marlena… You need to tell him if you won’t let him see it for himself. He needs to know that you are sleeping with me!” With that she had walked out of the pub.
John could still hear the possessiveness that Roman had addressed her with… the way he grabbed her arm, and the way it looked like it would fall off. John frowned as the image of Marlena came into his mind… she looked so pale and ghostly, the dark circles seemed ever-present now under her eyes. He was worried about her… hoping that it was just the stress of the past few weeks, of being held captive by Orpheus that had her looking so unhealthy. Hopefully now that things were coming together in her life… with Roman and the kids… she would start to gain that healthy glow again. He wanted nothing more than for her to once again be happy.
John sighed sharply as he glanced in the direction that Marlena had walked. Suddenly he had the overwhelming urge to find her… to find out once and for all if she was okay.
Orpheus chuckled to himself as Marlena withdrew his message from her pocket, her perplexed look as she glanced around wondering how the note had gotten there. He watched carefully as she slowly unfolded it, and he made sure to zoom in on her trembling hands as he captured this moment to add to his collection.
***********************
John could see her standing at the pier… her body shaking visibly even from his distance away. She seemed to be holding herself upright, her knuckles white from clutching so tightly onto the railing. John could see her knees start to buckle as he rushed over to reach her before she collapsed.
It was like slow motion as she started to sway, her eyes rolled backwards in her head and she started to fall. Thoughts were running through her mind at a hundred miles per hour… swirling, but not making any sense. The words of the note came in bursts… all telling her the same thing… that none of them were safe. Just as she was about to enter the world of welcome unconsciousness, she felt his arms around her… his voice slowly penetrating her clouded senses.
“Marlena… honey?” John stared down at her as he gathered her into his arms, and sat onto the nearby bench with her. He waited until her eyes fluttered open… gazing up at him with a clouded expression. “John…” she faltered, not believing that it was really him. “It’s me… honey… come on tell me what’s wrong?” Marlena trembled as it all came rushing back to her. She handed him the note, her hands shaking uncontrollably as she did so.
Are you having trouble making decisions? Soon, my dear, you will have no more decisions to make.
I am going to make you pay for what you have done to me!
John took one look and scrunched it up into a tight-fisted ball. His jaw clenched as he tried to hide his anger from Marlena. John looked downwards at her and realised that she was watching him intently. He smiled a distant smile as he traced her cheek with his hand in a reassuring gesture. “I’m sure that it is just someone playing with you Doc… don’t worry…”
“It was Orpheus, I know it was…” The direct way that she said it made John gasp involuntarily. The way she had no doubt whatsoever that she was right.
“How do you know that?” John moved her off his lap so that he could look at her properly, his deep blue eyes, searching her face for confirmation that this was true.
“He’s in Salem Ro… John…” John winced, as Marlena continued. “He approached me the other day… I was… that doesn’t even matter. I know that it is him… he wants to kill me…”
He stared at her as she finished her ranting, her eyes so matter-of-fact, like it didn’t bother her that Orpheus was after her. But he could see the fear in her eyes… a fear that only those closest to her could see. “I won’t let him hurt you… I won’t let him touch even one hair on your beautiful head…”
John gathered her closer to him and placed his lips against her hair, his impassioned promise filling the air. Marlena closed her eyes and relaxed into him, allowing his embrace to calm her wrought nerves. She couldn’t fool John… she never had been able to. He was so in tune with all of her feelings and emotions, and right now, she was grateful for it. She let the silent tears fall onto his shirt.
*********************
John, Roman and Abe sat on the couch in the Brady living room, discussing plans for Marlena’s safety. While she was upstairs showering and changing things had become heated downstairs.
“Roman… be reasonable. We need to keep her safe. She is in danger!” John threw up his hands in exasperation, as he stood and paced the floor, while Roman and Abe sat on the couch. Abe held the note in his hands, and studied it again. “I have to agree with John, partner… Marlena is in danger here.” Roman sat looking between John and Abe, fuming that yet again something was going to separate him from his wife. He had to talk them out of this. “But witness protection?… Honestly Abe, I think that is a bit extreme. I can protect her better than anyone else.”
“I disagree… Roman this is not some common criminal that we are talking about here. It’s Orpheus. He knows you and that means that he can be one step ahead of you.” John nodded in agreeance with Abe and looked directly at Roman. “Maybe you used to be able to protect her buddy… but you have been gone a long time. Things have changed.” “The only thing that has changed is the fact that you have been sleeping with my wife… and now that I am back you are doing everything you can to get her into bed!” Roman stood and pushed his face close to John’s, whose blue eyes glared back at him.
“That’s not true Roman…” Marlena’s voice sounded from the bottom of the stairs, as all three of the men turned around to face her.
“Isn’t it? Why don’t we ask John then…” He turned back to face him, still dangerously close to him… still stinging from the memory of their fight in the bathroom at the hospital the other night. “So John, come on, tell us that it isn’t true… tell us that you don’t look at her and want her…” John looked at Marlena helplessly, taking the bait as he refused to answer. “That’s what I thought…” Roman remarked snidely as he watched closely as John stared at Marlena.
He walked over to her and put his arms around her tightly. “Baby… don’t worry I will keep you safe… I won’t let anybody hurt you!”
Marlena glanced over Roman’s shoulder at John… and she remembered him making the same promise to her tonight. They were both offering her protection. Roman pulled back and lifted Marlena’s chin, forcing her to look at him. He saw her sad eyes and reassured her. “Hey… hey… I didn’t upset you, did I? I know that you aren’t interested in John in that way Doc… I just… I want you to be careful around him. Any man would be mad not to want you… and John already knows how amazing it is to be with you.” He spoke softly so that Abe and John couldn’t hear his words.
“Sorry to interrupt here… but we need to figure this out. We need to organise for Marlena’s protection… and fast.” Abe walked over to Roman and placed his hand on his shoulder. “I am going to protect her…” Roman stuck his jaw out with a determined air. “She is my wife… I will look after her.” Roman placed his arms more securely around her.
“That’s not a good idea Roman. There is no guarantee that you will be able to keep her safe.” John looked pointedly at him.
“John… no one even wants you here. Why don’t you take your opinions elsewhere?”
“Roman… please?” Marlena gasped and for what seemed like the hundredth time today she glanced apologetically towards John.
“John helped me when I was on the pier. He is just concerned… just like you are… just like I am. I want him to stay here.”
“Doc… ” Roman took her by the elbow and steered her to the other side of the room. “Is there something that you aren’t telling me? Do you still think about John in that way?” He gazed at her with concern brimming in his eyes. Over the past week, Roman thought that he and Marlena had been gaining back some of the trust that they once had. Although she wouldn’t let him make love to her… unless it was night time… he assumed that it was just because she was still shy around him. But now Roman wasn’t so sure… maybe the reason why she wasn’t all over him, was because she was still in love with John. The thought filled him with a profound sense of anger and betrayal. His eyes flashed angrily, before he calmed down slightly. Marlena looked over towards John, who was intently speaking to Abe. Suddenly the sounds of him making love to Isabella filled her head… and her anger resurfaced. Tonight John had made Marlena feel like she was the only person in his whole world… but she had to face the fact that it simply wasn’t true.
Isabella was his whole world now. Pursing her lips, she faced Roman. “Roman… you know that I love you! Why would you even ask me something like that? Yes, I share a past with John… yes, I still care for him. But I am married to you!” She smiled as he captured her lips for a kiss.
“Roman… Marlena… I’m sorry again… But John and I have been talking, and we really think that witness protection is the best option.”
“Witness protection?” Marlena looked up in amazement, her glance darting between the three men. “You are going to send me away?”
Tears pooled in her eyes and threatened to escape. “It’s for the best Doc… it will just be until we figure out if it was actually Orpheus that sent the note… it may not have been!” John stepped closer to her.
“NO!” Roman’s voice was raised. “I don’t want Doc going anywhere… and especially not anywhere by herself.”
“If she was my wife Roman… I would do anything to keep her safe. Even if it meant letting her go for a while…” John spoke quietly, gazing intensely at Marlena, and wishing to god that it was him standing there holding her.
“Well she is NOT your wife John. So get lost!” Roman spat.
Abe interjected, knowing that the situation could become nasty at any moment.
“We can organise someone to accompany her, Roman. Marlena, you don’t have to be alone in this. We just think that it will be better this way.” Abe took her hands and squeezed them gently.
“I guess that it is up to Marlena…?” Roman glanced at his wife, certain that she would refuse to leave. But as he saw the doubt in her hazel eyes, he knew that he was wrong. “You want to go, don’t you?” He asked quietly.
“Roman… I… I’m scared. I think that Orpheus will go one step further this time. Last time I ignored my fear of him… I was kidnapped.
Everyone thought that I was dead.” She threw a meaningful gaze in John’s direction, which he returned with intensity in his blue eyes. “I don’t want to leave the children… or my home… or you… but I just… I think it’s for the best.” Marlena pleaded with Roman to understand. Truthfully she was scared, but she was also relieved that she would be able to spend some time apart from both Roman and John. It would give her some time to figure out the shambles that her life had become.
“If you are going… then I will go with you! We can go on witness protection together.” Roman grasped her hand desperately.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea Roman. Who is going to look after the kids?” She replied matter-of-factly. Roman was disappointed that she hadn’t even let the thought excite her for even one second.
“What about John?” Her heart fluttered as she briefly let herself think about spending some time alone with John. Her voice came out almost squeaky… “John?”
“Yes… why doesn’t John mind the kids? He knows them and they know him. Why not?”
Marlena tried to calm her pounding heart as she realised that Roman had not been suggesting that John be her escort. She chided herself for even fleetingly thinking that the thought would even cross his mind. She frowned as she gazed at Roman.
“Honey… look… the kids don’t need that right now. They don’t need any more confusion. It will be hard enough that I won’t be here again. They need you… and if you love me, please stay with them and look after them…”
She took his hands in a tender appeal.
“Fine… but promise me that you will think about me every day?” Roman sulked.
“Of course I will…” Bitter thoughts entered her mind as she reassured her husband, wishing that for once she could stop thinking about Roman… and about John… and about the emotional void that she was spiralling into.
“How am I going to live without you, Doc?” He said as he pulled her towards him. “How am I going to sleep in our bed without you there beside me?” Roman nuzzled her cool cheek, as she prepared to leave the Brady house. She pulled backwards, a gaze of sympathy in her eyes as she surveyed him. She could tell that he had been drinking, and the thought concerned her. Since her return, Roman had been drinking every night. The only time that he didn’t seem to be, was when he was trying to beg her to come to bed. She wasn’t concerned for herself or for her children… she was more concerned about what Roman must have been through to make him this way. Marlena was determined that they would gain back the love and the trust that they once had… she was determined that she would find out what plagued him if it was the last thing she did.
Roman refused to release her, and he began to kiss her wildly, tearing at her clothes… in an attempt to rid her of them. “Doc, I want you so badly…” he panted, as his hands travelled to her breasts, kneading them roughly through her coat. “Roman… come on…” she grumbled, as she physically removed his hands from her.
“Abe is waiting for me…”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you didn’t want me…” Roman turned away from her and sulked, his tone expressing his dejection. Marlena tried to be calm as she stepped behind him, trying to allay his fears. “Roman… I’m sorry. But I need to get moving. I am so scared…” She wrapped her arms around him, but he pulled away from her. “You know…” he spat, turning to face his wife. “…I remember a time when you couldn’t get enough of me… when if I just suggested that we go to bed, you were aroused and ready for me…” His intense stare pierced her skull… and Marlena couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable. She flushed at his bluntness, the delicate red suffusing over her pale cheeks. “I… uh…” She stammered, unable to express herself… unable to think even of what she wanted to say.
“Don’t worry… you don’t have to say anything. I understand that I may not be as appealing to you as I once was… especially after you shared your bed with that… that fraud…”
Marlena winced to hear Roman refer to John
in that way. “Roman… stop it… I…” Again she was cut off mid-sentence.
“You can’t even stand to hear me say one bad thing about him, can you?” His eyes flashed dangerously as he approached her. Marlena felt the tears well behind her eyes,
threatening to spill forth at any moment. “I care about him Roman… but you have it all
wrong. It’s over between John and I… don’t you understand that?”
“No, because I can see you defend him every time I speak about him. I hear you take his side time and time again. And I see the way he looks at you… undressing you with his eyes… wondering if he will ever have a chance to touch you again…” Roman grabbed a hold of her breasts, and squeezed tightly, causing Marlena to cry out in pain. “Stop it Roman…”
She slapped him across the face as hard as she could, and watched in horror as his hand reached up to his cheek and he stumbled backwards. Instantly she regretted it, and she rushed towards him, reaching up to inspect the damage. But he turned away from her… the look of betrayal haunting Marlena, as Abe came to the door to collect her. She turned again to appeal to Roman, and saw the glass of brandy in his hand, as he downed it greedily. “I’m sorry Roman… I… I love you…”
With that she turned, the tears falling gently down her face, and she left him to wallow in his own misery.
*******************************
She held the tape securely in her hand… packaged and addressed to Roman Brady. She couldn’t even imagine the look on his face when he watched it… his anger at seeing Marlena and John naked and together would cause him to seethe. Maybe then… John would be hers. She approached the window and looked in… and was met with surprisingly good news.
Isabella chuckled to herself when she heard the commotion… the crash as Roman expressed his rage by throwing his glass at the door. He was muttering to himself about Marlena being on witness protection with a man that he didn’t even know. He was already pining for Marlena… and she had only been gone for an hour. Isabella couldn’t wait to find John… with Marlena out of the way, she would be able to seduce him. She placed the tape back into her coat and went on her way.
******************************
How could he treat me like that? How could he treat me like nothing more than his whore? The way he grabbed me today… he thinks he owns me. He is no longer the kind, gentle, loving Roman that I once knew. The problem is that I don’t know if that really is true… was he always like that? Did thinking that John was Roman… destroy my opinion of Roman’s personality forever? When I think about Roman… I see John… on the day when I woke up from my coma in 1986.
Marlena paused, and remembered those special times… the kindness that he had treated her with in those first few days.
“Roman… honey… how can you do that to me?”
Marlena sat upright on her bed, ignoring the weariness that filled her entire body. She tried to reach for him, as he strode quickly to the opposite side of the room.
“God Doc… you have no idea what you do to me…” He gazed at her lustfully, his hands travelling to his pockets in an attempt to hide the bulge that had arisen.
“Roman, that’s the idea. It’s been so long… I want you to make love to me…” She pleaded in a seductive voice, as she slowly eased the covers from her body.
“Honey… you need to recover. God, you look sexy when you do that…” John involuntarily moved towards her, the pout of her bottom lip causing him to want to kiss it away. She held her arms out to him, begging him to enter them, but he stopped before he reached her… a slight whimper escaping from her lips when she realised that her husband was going to deny her. She threw her legs off the bed and attempted to stand… realising too late that she was not strong enough, as her knees buckled beneath her. In an instant he was at her side, scooping her up into his arms, kissing her face and her hair, whispering soothing words to her. He placed her back into bed, and laid beside her, holding her all night long.
Marlena sighed softly as she continued to write, memories of the past haunting her.
John always knew what I needed better than I did… and he always made sure that I got it… even when I put up a fight! I still love Roman… when I see him my heart is full… that must be love. But somewhere deep within… I can’t bring myself to commit fully to him, not yet! I need some reassurance that we will last… that I will love him forever. I just need to work out what I want… and what is best for all concerned.
A large tear dropped onto the page, and with trembling hands, Marlena wiped it away. She closed the book with a snap and lost herself in the scenery of Salem, as she stared out the window, thanking god for a chance to have a break from all of the confrontations and decisions.
**********************************
He watched her through the rear-view mirror, his eyes hidden beneath the dark sunglasses that adorned them. He could see the tears, as they slowly flowed down her silky skin… the dark mascara gradually creating a shadow around her reddened eyes. She wasn’t paying any attention whatsoever to him… she was the perfect picture of misery.
He watched her scrawl in her diary… almost painstakingly… as every now and then a fresh tear dripped onto the page, and she wiped it away. He wanted nothing more than to stop the car and take her in his arms… to alert her to his presence… to reassure her that he would be with her every step of the way to comfort and protect her. But he couldn’t… she wasn’t to know that it was him until they were well out of Salem.
He had known that he couldn’t sit back and watch as Marlena’s safety was put in the hands of someone else. Right from the word go, John had known that it would be he accompanying her on the witness protection program. Only he could keep her safe… and at one time, he would have said that Roman could too. But now, John was seriously beginning to doubt his rival… his aggressiveness at every turn made him doubt Roman’s true intentions. He feared that she was still pining for Roman… that he was the cause of her tears… and the thought broke his heart all over again.
*******************************
She looked up and saw his face. Her breath caught in her throat momentarily as she was once again thrown off balance by his presence. Even beneath the dark sunglasses, she could never mistake that face. She tried to call his name, but no words came out… the sound escaping as a mere gasp. She wetted her lips, as he looked up suddenly… staring at the sensual movements of her mouth as her tongue came into view over her full lips.
“John?”
John was filled with a profound sense of panic, as she gazed at him from the back seat, her eyes wide with amazement. He dropped his head… not knowing whether to try to pretend that it wasn’t him. He quickly glanced out the window, relieved that they were finally reaching the outskirts of Salem. He said nothing.
“John…? I know that it’s you…” Marlena leaned forward in her seat, attempting to wipe the smeared mascara from her tear-stained cheeks. She reached for his sunglasses, and flinched when he jerked his face away. She couldn’t help herself… removing her shoes she climbed through and sat in the front seat… turning her head decisively as she stared at him.
“Marlena… you have to get back in the back seat.” John spoke firmly, as he slowed the car considerably. “Aha… I knew it was you…” The triumph sounded through her voice, as she spoke. “It’s me… but we need to follow the rules. Get back into your seat…” He motioned towards the back seat, his tone was demanding… and in his mind he begged for her to obey. She needed to stay out of sight… for now at least.
“I like it here.” Marlena adjusted her skirt and settled back into the front seat, her tone playful, as she goaded him. She pulled her seat belt around her body and snapped it closed. “Marlena… this isn’t a game. I don’t want you up here. Get in the back… NOW!”
John winced as he heard his voice become raised… the bark at the end filled his entire being with regret. But as far as Marlena’s safety was concerned, he knew that he would do anything… even if it meant upsetting her. He watched her from the corner of his eye, as her bottom lip trembled… her attempts to stay brave brought a feeling of tenderness into him. He wanted to reach over and touch her leg, and to apologise, but he couldn’t do that. This was the only way to keep them both safe.
Marlena felt her cheeks get hot as she was filled with humiliation. Now John didn’t even want her sitting near him. She told herself again that she was being irrational, and that he was doing it for her own safety… but she couldn’t help but feel that she had lost her touch. John didn’t melt every time he saw her any more. Before, she could almost always get her way with him, but now… now things had changed. She let out a frustrated sigh, and climbed back into her original seat… refusing to look at him as he called her name gently. She folded her arms and stared out the window.
*****************************
Orpheus stood at the pier, cursing John’s name and punching the air with his fists. He had gotten her away… and Orpheus had no idea where they had gone. It had been his plan to follow John and Marlena to the police station when they reported the threat… but they had surprised him, going instead to the Brady house. And by the time Orpheus had figured that out and caught up with them, the plans for her safety had already been set… leaving no hint of what they were.
And now John had disappeared too… no doubt completing his whole heroic act in an attempt to win Marlena back. Oh, it is just so sweet, Orpheus thought to himself, the bile rising in his throat at the sick feeling that he got when he thought about their love. But he wasn’t to be deterred. This was only a slight chink in his plan. All of the players in it had so far acted the way he had known they would… like puppets on his string. Now he just had to find them… and then he could continue with his plans.
He pulled his video camera from his bag and found the point where he had taped Marlena and John making love. He found himself again watching her with increased interest… the way her body moved, the way she bit on her bottom lip in the throes of passion, the way the soft sounds that she made cast a spell over whomever was listening… Orpheus stroked himself slightly, knowing that he had to step up his plan. He was beginning to lose some of his self-control… and the thought scared him. His plan so far had worked meticulously… and he couldn’t risk not reaching his ultimate goal, not for a woman… not even one as fascinating as Marlena Evans Brady. He would have to bide his time…
******************************
“Okay… pretty soon we are going to be changing cars, so I need you to listen to me carefully…” John watched Marlena as she sighed sharply, her attention never leaving the road. She was mad at him… and John knew that her anger ran deeper than what had just happened in the car. If not, this was an overreaction even for Marlena… “MARLENA… I need you to pay attention. Don’t be so childish…” He snapped his fingers loudly into the air, and her eyes shot towards him… the hint of challenge flashing dangerously.
“I am NOT your servant, Mr Black…” She spat the words, and her tone dripped with venom. “Just listen… I am only interested in your safety. We are changing cars in about ten minutes. I need you to reach into the back and change into the clothes that are in the paper bag. Leave all of your identification… your wallet… your phone… leave it all here. You understand?” She nodded and complied with his directions, finding herself donning a brown wig and hat and a heavy brown coat that covered almost her entire body. She slipped her diary into the coat, just as the car slowed down. They had reached the change-over point.
*****************************
With a bitter laugh, she opened the red mail box… checking her watch she realised that the postman had already been today… it wouldn’t get to him for a few days. She held the package in her hand, considering whether to hand-deliver it to Roman’s house… that way she would have her satisfaction sooner. Deciding against it, Isabella dropped the envelope… which securely held her and John’s future enclosed. Once Roman saw that tape… he would never leave John and Marlena alone together again.
John couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he gazed at her beautiful sleeping form in the back seat. She was resting against the window, her eyes closed peacefully, her breathing deep, as she caught up on some much needed rest.
Every now and then she would nod awake, when a slight bump of the car disturbed her… but every time she merely opened her eyes sleepily, before closing them again, and falling back into slumber. She was adorable. It was the moments like this that John missed… just watching her do such simple but beautiful things.
John knew that it wouldn’t be a problem for him. Acting like he was in love with Marlena was hardly something that he had to pretend. Because he was head over heels for the woman in the car… he knew that he would never find love like that again. As for Marlena, John knew that this would be hard for her. She had chosen to be with Roman… yet she also had feelings for John. No matter whether those feelings were of lust, love, or merely fond memory of what they had shared… there was still something there. And John knew that she would struggle with this charade. Her anger when they had found out at the change-over had proved that.
“What do you mean? We can’t do that…” Her face flushed as she spluttered out the words, the anxiety on her face giving away her mixed emotions. “John… how could you even think about that?” She looked at him in horror.“Marlena… I had no idea. I had nothing to do with this.”
“You can’t ask me to do this… I can’t act like your wife…” She looked at him with tears filling her eyes, her tone begged him to reconsider. John looked on with compassion… knowing how hard this was for her to accept. He took her hand with his free one and squeezed it gently.
“For your sake I wish that we didn’t have to do this… but Doc… right now we don’t have a choice…”
“We do… we do have a choice. I want to go home. Take me back.” She squeezed his hands back and the absolute terror on her face made his heart break.
“I can’t take you home Marlena… your life is on the line. We need to do this…”
“No… no we don’t. I can’t… I… I won’t…” The tears started cascading down her face. She pulled her hand away… realising that John was not going to budge. “Stop the car John… I’m getting out… I can’t do this…” She tugged desperately on his shirt, clawing the skin beneath it in her panic.
“Calm down Doc.” He pulled himself free, and
tried to reassure her with a gentle smile. She unsnapped her seatbelt and opened the car door, with the car still moving at a steady speed. John’s heart almost jumped out of his chest, his reflex causing the car to swerve, as he reached over to grab her body, pulling her back in before she could even attempt to jump out.
He stopped the car almost instantly, swerving to the outer lane of the road, as he held Marlena’s sobbing body firmly with one arm. “What are you doing John? I have to go… you should have le me get out…” She pulled herself from his vice-like grip, a new strength in her struggle, and she stepped out of the car. John was quick to follow, running around the car as his fury overtook him. “What the hell is wrong with you? You could have gotten yourself killed… God… do you have a death-wish?” He yelled as loudly as he could, needing to express the absolute terror that he had felt at just the thought of what Marlena had been about to do. His stare pierced her as she turned away from him, holding her face in her hands, as the sobs wracked her small body. His tone softened as his heart broke at the sight of her… and he hurried towards her, crushing her into his arms, expressing in that one gesture, all of his fears for her. “Don’t ever do that to me again…” He kissed her hair over and over again, his hands travelling upwards to her face, to wipe the tears from her eyes. “God… I can’t even imagine what I would do if I lost you…” He tried to hide his own tears as he buried his face into her hair, feeling her relaxing into him. “John… I just… we… can’t… I can’t pretend to be married to you…”
“What are you afraid of Marlena?” John took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes, the windows to her soul. But all he could see was confusion and sadness reflected back at him. “It doesn’t matter any more…” She dropped her head and pulled away from him, making her way to the back seat of the car and settling herself in. “Don’t you want to sit in the front with me?” John almost begged… not willing to lose the brief connection that they had momentarily shared. But she didn’t answer, instead returning to staring blankly out the window.
He couldn’t even describe how he had felt when Marlena had told him to take her home… he couldn’t help but assume that she meant home to Roman. John knew that he would have to try as hard as he could to not take this little charade any further than it absolutely had to go… otherwise he might have to watch Marlena suffer even more than she already was.
“Marlena… you’re wrong. It’s always been you that I wanted. I don’t love Isabella… I never made love to Isabella…” He pleaded with her to understand, his face blurred like those of dreams. She felt herself float briefly before falling into his arms, the desperation of the embrace so sweet…
Her eyes fluttered open, as her face and eyes stung from the constant tears. She blushed slightly as she briefly recapped what she had been dreaming about… John saying that he wanted her. She looked downwards at the recent addition to her third finger… the diamond engagement and wedding rings, which brought her back to the harsh reality. Marlena looked up at John… who seemed lost in thought as he drove. She felt her heart almost overflow as she saw the worry lines etched across his handsome brow… and the overwhelming urge to reach over and wipe them away overtook her.
The thought of her complete and total need to surrender to John… made her frightened. It was a different fear than she had ever felt before. She didn’t fear for her safety or her life. Now she feared for her heart, and somehow she knew that John had the ability to rip it out of her chest over and over again. The thought of acting like his new bride, filled her with distress… she feared that she would lose herself to him again. And she couldn’t allow herself to do that… not now! Marlena was with Roman, and John was with Isabella… nothing would change that!
She sighed as the car came slowly to a stop and John gave her the final instructions. “I know that this is going to be hard for you. It will be hard for both of us. But all we have to do is get to our room and we can hide away for the rest of the trip. OK?” He looked at her reassuringly.
Marlena nodded, taking a deep breath as she wiped her puffy face, trying to rid it of evidence of her recent tears. Newly-weds didn’t cry.
“Smile honey… we have to be convincing. Imagine that we have just arrived at our beautiful honeymoon destination… how do you feel?” He was trying to make her think… so that Marlena would play the part. “I don’t know John…” Her tone was weary, and she forced the words out. “Remember back to our honeymoon… remember how you felt then…”
John watched as her eyes fluttered closed, almost involuntarily reliving their honeymoon three years ago. “Do you remember?” He saw her body relax, her lips turn upwards into a whimsical smile… and she nodded, taking one last deep breath, before raising her head again. Marlena scrambled into the front seat, not wanting to raise suspicions when they drove into the resort.
When they arrived, John came around to the passenger side of the car, opening Marlena’s door, and holding one strong hand out for her. He tried not to look as her sexy leg flashed before him, the white sundress that she wore, parting slightly at the knee to allow him a perfect view. She placed her hand into his, looking up at him with mixed emotions. She felt herself being pulled upwards, her body almost floating as he pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her for a hug.
She had to remind herself that he was playing a part… that he was trying to be convincing. She could almost see herself from above… like someone else had invaded her body. John pulled back and smiled at her, the adoring look in his eyes almost convincing even her that he loved her, as they were broken from their reverie by the concierge approaching them.
“Ah… you must be Mr and Mrs Howard?” John pulled away from Marlena and turned to face him, a wide smile covering his face. He grasped Marlena’s hand and stroked it absently as he spoke.
“Yes we are…” he grinned. “I’m Josh and this is my wife, Mandy…” He emphasised the word as he turned to look at Marlena, noticing the brief flash of panic that crossed her eyes.
Marlena was filled with nervous apprehension as she clutched John’s hand tightly. She knew that their safety depended on the next few minutes, but she felt so weary… like the effort was too much for her to take.
“I’m Daniel… anything you need, I’m your man…” The concierge winked at John as he shook his hand. “The honeymoon suite is absolutely divine… Let me have someone take you up there.” John noticed that Marlena remained silent, so he looked over at her. She looked so tired as she stood there… almost as if she would fall over at any moment. John panicked for a moment, hoping that she wouldn’t give them away. “Are you okay honey?” He stroked her cheek tenderly, pretending to be the concerned husband.
“Mrs Howard… you don’t look so well. Is everything okay?” Daniel too had noticed her silence.
Marlena was snapped back into reality as she perceived the concern of the men in front of her. Her eyes darted between John’s and the concierges, a sense of panic filling her, as she realised what she must look like. An angelic smile suddenly masked her face and she sauntered up to John, laying her head on his shoulder in a highly intimate gesture. Running her hands down his chest, the feeling of his body beneath her fingertips almost burnt, yet she forced herself to keep them there. She laughed softly, bringing music to John’s ears… and then, as if it was a painful task, she dragged her eyes away from John’s and looked sheepishly at the concierge. “I’m just tired… someone kept me up half the night…” She stared back at John, getting lost in his surprised gaze. She nuzzled her face into his neck… almost forgetting that she was just pretending.
John could feel his entire body fill with fire as Marlena’s face touched his neck, her delicious breath tickling the skin that lay beneath it. He was amazed at how quickly she had managed to allay the concierge’s suspicions, her dazzling smile wooing him as well. John could see Daniel admiring Marlena’s form his jealousy evident as John’s arm travelled around her waist, pulling her against him possessively. “I’m sorry baby… maybe when we get up to our suite, we can get some rest…” He lifted her chin to force her to look at him, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief… his lips turned upwards in a playful smile. He silently chided himself as he remembered not to get too swept up in the charade… so that it wouldn’t be too hard for Marlena, but all he wanted to do was take advantage of the situation and feel her lips on his. He bent to place a tender kiss on her cheek, and he knew that he had done the right thing when her relieved eyes silently thanked him.
“Why don’t I take you to your suite…?” Daniel indicated for Marlena and John to walk ahead of him… and he couldn’t help but watch Marlena’s long legs and soft hips as they swayed sensuously as she walked. He found himself becoming envious as he saw how in love they were, the natural way that her head found his shoulder… the comfort that they seemed to draw from each other… and the intense gazes that made them forget that the rest of the world even existed.
As soon as the concierge had left them alone, Marlena pulled away from John, hugging herself tightly as she moved to the window. She stared out of it… not even interested in the extravagance of the suite. John came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “You did great down there, Doc…”
“I don’t know John… I don’t think that we are
going to be able to fool anyone.” She moved away from him and the window… and looked around the room, rubbing her shoulders as if from cold. “Of course we will Doc… I’m telling you that the concierge has no idea that we are not newly weds…”
The room was amazing, the large king size bed was covered in red satin sheets… and Marlena realised that it was the only bed in the room. Suddenly a panicked thought hit her… “John, does Roman know that you…” She was cut off mid-sentence. “No… Marlena no one knows. I couldn’t let you come here with some stranger. I wanted to protect you…” He came closer to her. He could see the rage seething in her stance, her face reddening as the full force of the situation hit her. “So did Roman… Roman wanted to protect me too. But you wouldn’t let him… you told him that he couldn’t… Did you plan this? Did you do this just to have me go away with you?” Marlena felt her breasts ache as she relived the horrible situation with Roman before she had left home. She shuddered to think about how he would react when he found out that John had accompanied her. Tears filled her eyes as she realised that she would probably lose him. In her heart she knew that it wasn’t John’s fault… that he had been looking out for her, but she needed to lash out at someone… and John just happened to be in her path. “Doc… I would never do that to you… you know that…”
“Do I? Do I really know you? After what I saw the other day… I don’t think I know you at all…” Marlena spat the words at him, with venom dripping from her tone.
John stared at her, the confusion evident in his face. He could see how angry she was. He knew that she was about to burst from what she must be keeping bottled up inside. It had been boiling since the day Marlena had returned, and now she was ready to explode.
“What do you mean? What did you see?” Again John took a step towards her… and he could almost reach out to touch her. “Forget it John! It doesn’t even matter any more. What matters is that when Roman finds out that you are here with me… I am going to lose him forever…” The tears gushed from her eyes, and John reached her in an instant, closing his arms around her sobbing body. She struggled and fought against him, hitting his chest with as much force as she could muster. “You did this… you did this… I hate you…” The words were muffled between sobs, her salty tears soaking John’s shirt, as he held her close to him. He whispered soothing words to her as he rocked her. He let out a breath that he hadn’t known he’d been holding when he felt her relax against his chest, clutching him tightly as she let him comfort her.
They stood there for long minutes, clutching each other tightly, John brushing his lips against Marlena’s hair. Her sobs started to die down… but she remained tucked securely in his arms. All she wanted was to place soft kisses along his chest… to have him take all of her sadness away. Marlena looked up at John, the vulnerability shining through her sad eyes. Her eyes darted to his lips and she felt the electricity fill the air between them. As if drawn by the magnet that was her lips, John leaned in… intent on feeling them on his own. His hand travelled to her chin and he tilted her face upwards. Just at the last second, Marlena came to her senses, realising what had been about to happen. She pulled back, telling herself over and over that she was with Roman. And more importantly that John was with Isabella. That was the way things would remain.
“Doc… what’s wrong?” John was still captivated by the spell that had been cast over the room.
“I’m sorry John… I shouldn’t have freaked out like that. I’m just so tired…” Marlena walked over to the bed… needing sleep, but more importantly, needing to escape from this situation if only for a while. “I’m going to have a sleep…” She climbed in under the covers, pulled her knees up to her chest, and fell into a restless sleep.
“Orpheus…” Roman bellowed his name, as he grabbed the other man by the throat and pushed him up against the brick wall. “I have waited a long time for this…” His grip was vice-like, his face red with neurotic rage, his teeth bared like an animal. He was furious enough to kill Orpheus… right then, right there… to just squeeze the life out of his evil body. “Because of you, Marlena is not in my bed right now… because of you I lost years with her… because of you…” He growled the words, as Orpheus calmly watched Roman’s rage.
He let himself hang limply in the air, not even attempting to fight the hands that could take his life away in one moment. His crooked lips turned upwards into a sadistic smile… and his laugh sounded across the evening. It was a vile sound… so evil… so filled with malice. But he was also amused. Orpheus had known that at some point, he would come into contact with Roman Brady… and when he did he had always known that there would be fireworks. After all, he had kidnapped the mans wife and held her prisoner for three years. Because as soon as he had found out that Roman was working for Stefano and that John was an impostor… he knew that he could not deliver Marlena to Stefano as he had promised. Instead he had kept her prisoner, intent on using her for his own gain.
At the sound of his laughter, Roman released his hold on Orpheus, somewhat startled buy his reaction. But he kept his face pressed closely to his… seething at the amusement in his steely eyes. “Roman Brady… I have been waiting for you…” Orpheus slapped Roman on the back a few times, and then stepped away from him… smoothing his clothes and gaining his composure.
His calmness threw Roman, and he stammered the next words, unsure of himself now that he had his biggest enemy in his reach. “I should kill you for what you have done…”
“Perhaps you should…” Orpheus smiled. “But you won’t… you and I both know that. You have too much to lose…”
“Is that right?” Roman pulled his gun from his holster and aimed it directly at Orpheus. “You kidnapped Marlena… you held her prisoner for three years… you threatened her. And now she is off somewhere, when she should be in my bed…”
“That is true…” Orpheus pretended to ponder his next thought. “But bith you and I know that Marlena wouldn’t even look at you if she knew that you had been working for Stefano for the past six years. Could you imagine her face when she finds out that you abandoned her… for money and prestige? Oh I would love to see that…” Orpheus closed his eyes, imagining the pain on Marlena’s face. He felt the beginnings of an erection as he could picture her in his mind’s eye, the anguish on her beautiful features oh so enticing.
Roman shoved Orpheus into the wall, slamming his body hard… and pressed the gun up to his head… again unnerved by the lack of panic on his enemies face. “She will never find out if I kill you now…” He spoke the words through clenched teeth. “But you won’t take the risk that I have told someone else… that someone might be waiting in the wings for me to turn up dead. Then that person might have instructions to drop a bombshell onto the whole of Salem. Then Roman Brady would be destroyed forever.” His rotten teeth gleamed in the dimming light of day. “No… you will leave me alone… and you will go to the police with new evidence for Marlena’s case…”
Orpheus smiled again as Roman released him, and placed an envelope into his front pocket, patting it, before he walked away.
The plan was underway. Soon Isabella would be out of the way. Her manic behaviour had become a problem!
************************
Marlena sighed as she reapplied her lipstick… her lips shining ruby red as she looked in the mirror. Dinner tonight was going to be a trial but she was at least happy to be getting out of this confining room. All afternoon she and John had tried to occupy themselves… their charade of being newly-weds not allowing them to leave the room… at least for today. Newly-weds would not be leaving their room an hour after they had arrived.
So Marlena had been trying not to think about what they would be doing if they were on their honeymoon… the thoughts filling her with confusion, as she tried to sort out her feelings. She thought about John so much… but then again, her thoughts were mostly about his body and about what he could do to her body. She told herself that she didn’t know him any more… that his personality was not the one she had loved when they had thought he was Roman. That was a personality that experienced Roman’s memories, was influenced by Roman’s past… so it was logical that she was attracted to his personality because he had Roman’s past. Marlena sighed, knowing that she was trying to justify her feelings for John… and by separating his mind and body she had almost succeeded.
“Marlena… come on, we don’t have all night…”
John knocked on the bathroom door, and whined playfully. Marlena smirked and pulled it open, giving him an indifferent glare as she strode past him out of the bathroom.
Accidentally her breast brushed against his arm… cloaked by the thick black material of his suit, but he was still painfully aware of the sensation, and he felt the excitement spread through his body. She looked ravishing… her pale skin appearing so sensual in contrast to the deep magenta dress that she wore. It was simple, the material was long and flowing, and tied around her waist. The v-neck exposed enough of her cleavage to tempt, the off the shoulder enticed by revealing her delicate skin. The dress finished at a mid-calf length, but the split up the side caused John’s heart to flutter. Her curly blonde hair had been pinned on both sides with exquisite diamond studded clips, and her face was made-up to perfection.
John was glad that he would be able to get out of the room… it was all he could do this afternoon, not to pick Marlena up and throw her on the bed. He wanted to stop the anger and frustration and tell her how much he wanted and needed her, but he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t jeopardise her happiness with Roman. But as much as John respected Marlena’s choice, he was looking forward to being able to pretend tonight, even if it was just for a little while, that Marlena was his.
“I’m ready…” Marlena turned to face him, and John drew an involuntary breath. She was stunning. “You look beautiful.” He could see her cheeks flush slightly as her gaze dropped downwards. “Lets go…” He came beside her and held his arm out for her in a gentlemanlike gesture. “Are you ready Mrs Howard?”
Marlena smiled, reminding herself that tonight she was Mandy and he was Josh. “I’m ready…” She flashed him a dazzling smile and the newly-weds prepared to make their first appearance in public.
The warmth spread through her entire body at John’s simple touch. His hand rested on the small of her back, and he held her close to his body, clasping her right hand with his free one. She knew that this was necessary, she just wished it didn’t affect her so much. She could feel her heart pound in her chest as she tried to ignore his touch.
By the time they reached the restaurant downstairs, Marlena’s body was on fire. She was sure that she was flushed. John was just so close to her. She placed her free hand onto her cheek, trying to cool it. “Are you okay?” John asked concernedly, turning her chin to face him. “It’s just warm in here…” She spoke softly as she gazed into his eyes, finding herself once again getting lost. They were interrupted from the moment by the polite cough of the waiter who had approached them. “I have a reservation for Josh Howard…” John spoke, still holding Marlena closely to his body. “Ah, the newly-weds… I should have guessed…” He smiled knowingly and John and Marlena turned to each other in surprise. Half-lost in the moment, and half-pretending, John touched Marlena’s chin, and leaned in to kiss her softly on the cheek.
Marlena almost sighed as he leaned in towards her, the heat between them electrifying the room. She was sure that he was going to kiss her lips, but as he moved past her mouth to her cheek, her eyes fluttered closed in contentment. John always knew how to make her feel better, and although she was on fire… she was glad that John was not taking advantage of the situation.
“It’s that obvious is it?” John questioned playfully, addressing the waiter, yet not taking his eyes… or his hands off Marlena. His free hand caressed her bare shoulder in a loving gesture, and he stared into her captivating eyes. He was secretly delighted that the waiter had said that. If only Marlena would see what a total stranger saw… that he loved her, and that she had strong feelings for him… feelings that she had to face sooner or later.
The waiter led them to a table in the far corner, and Marlena breathed a sigh of relief that they wouldn’t have to act so much… except when the waiters came around to check on them. The table had a booth seat, and one other chair. Marlena quickly steered her way to the single chair, but John pulled her back into him… and whispered just loud enough so that the waiter could hear. “Oh no you don’t Mrs Howard… I want to be sitting as close to you as possible tonight…” He winked as she looked up at him with a slight glare. With one hand firmly placed on her back and the other on her elbow, John led her into the waiting booth.
He flashed his million-dollar grin at the waiter who grinned back at him. Marlena in her head wanted to punch him… to punch both of them.
What was this, secret man communication?
Did they think she was so dumb that shedidn’t get it? As John sidled in to the booth beside her, she grabbed a hold of his knee, and squeezed as hard as she could in his pressure area… causing John to jump in pain. He recovered quickly, glaring at her. “Honey, come on… not here…” He winked again at the waiter, and Marlena wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug smile off his face. She turned his head forcefully towards her, and looked at him with a smouldering look of challenge in her eyes. “Oh but baby… that’s not what you were saying last night… or come to think of it, an hour ago…” She giggled like a school-girl, caressing his smooth cheek. Her breath caught in her throat and her heart thudded when she noticed the intense look in his blue eyes. His hand covered hers, and he pulled it from his cheek, squeezing it gently. His eyes told her not to play with fire, and Marlena looked down at the table. She pulled her hand from his as the waiter cleared his throat. “Ahem… can I get you two lovebirds something to drink?”
“A bottle of your finest champagne. Nothing is too good for my wife…” John tucked his arm around Marlena and pulled her close to him, loving the feeling of being able to touch her, and not being afraid that she would withdraw.
The waiter nodded and walked away, and Marlena immediately scooted from John’s tight grip. “Oh honey… so soon…” He teased. He was trying to lighten up the mood, but he knew it wasn’t working when he viewed Marlena’s face, and the look of dejection that appeared on it. “Is this too much for you?” He asked with concern.
Marlena looked up into his eyes and shook her head. “I just feel guilty about leaving Roman with the kids… while you and I are here…” She gestured to the table, her meaning not lost on John. “We are here protecting your life Marlena. Don’t forget that!”
“I won’t. It’s the only reason that we are here.” John felt his entire being deflate at the meaning behind her words. Marlena was saying that if it wasn’t for Orpheus, she would not be anywhere near John. Instead she would be with Roman. He thought that he should clear up his intentions.
“Hey… I don’t want you to mistake anything that happens between us, as Mandy and Josh… for anything but what it is. We both know that we are pretending, and Roman will know that too…” John tried not to stumble across the words.
“So will Isabella…” Marlena spoke quietly.“Marlena, there is something that I have to tell you about Isabella and I… We…” John was cut off by her sharp words. “I know John… you don’t need to explain it to me…”
“I think I do…” He was surprised by the way she was acting, withdrawing into herself, like she only did when she was upset about something.
“No… I don’t want to hear about it John… Iiter arrived with their drinks. He poured the champagne and Marlena sipped it gratefully, waiting for the waiter to leave so that she could down it all in one go. She wanted to get so very drunk tonight… so that she could forget about all of her problems.
Dinner came and went with very few problems. Marlena merely picked at her food, unable to stomach the thought of eating anything. At one point she glanced at John who was watching her with concern. She wanted so much to be able to tell him… to confide in him about her problem, but she just couldn’t. Instead she muttered something about not being hungry and excused herself to the bathroom. She wanted so much for this night to be over.
Finally she came back to the table, and told John that she wanted to leave. But suddenly all eyes were on the couple, as the orchestra announced that they were going to play a special song for the newly-weds. Marlena and John glanced at each other uneasily. But the loud applause made them gather their senses. Taking Marlena’s hand, John led her out onto the dance floor.
He pulled her close, wrapping his strong arm around her body, gazing into her eyes as he begged her to continue this charade. Marlena knew what he was thinking and she made herself think about Roman as she leaned her head onto John’s shoulder, her mouth resting against his neck. “Are you okay?” John asked, when he felt the wetness of her escaping tears on his neck. “I’m fine… just tired…”
“Mar… Mandy… I know that’s not true. You can’t lie to me now, any more than you could when we were m…” John became aware of other couples filtering around them on the dance floor, and he remembered where they were. They were supposed to be a couple deliriously in love, he had to stop Marlena’s tears. “You have to stop crying… we just have to get through this one dance okay?” John took her chin in his hands and she looked at him, the picture of misery. She nodded. “I’m sorry that I am finding this so hard… I don’t mean to make it any harder for you… it’s just that…”
From the corner of his eye, John saw the concierge approaching them. He glanced back at Marlena, trying to warn her to stop talking but it was too late. “Jo…” Marlena was cut off… stopped in her tracks by John’s lips against hers. She was so surprised that she could only give in to the kiss, the passion escalating as John’s tongue found hers, lost in the moment… the moment born of necessity… the moment laced with true desire.
Why can’t I be happy? Why can’t I just let myself be happy? Why can’t I just admit to myself who it is that I really love? John or Roman… Maybe I still don’t know. Maybe I am lying to myself, telling myself that my love for Roman is real. But how can I love John? How can I love someone who had Roman’s personality when I fell in love with him?
Damn… I don’t even make sense anymore. My life has turned into a joke… torn between two men… one whom I lust for, but don’t know if I love… the other who I loved, but no longer want. I have to keep telling myself that I have to commit to Roman. At least that is one thing in my favour… by John choosing Isabella, the choice is out of my hands.
I can’t even make sense of this… I am going to go to bed… hopefully I can escape some of this confusion in my dreams.
****************************
He watched her as she slept, feeling like a voyeur as he obsessed over her even while she was asleep. Wanting nothing more than to crawl into the bed beside her, to snuggle up close to her sensual body, to wake her with soft kisses, and to make love to her all night long. His heart was full as he admired her beauty in the soft moonlight… the warm pink flannelette pyjamas only making her more beautiful in his eyes. She looked so pale, so vulnerable, so in need of someone to act as her protector and comforter. John didn’t know how Marlena could believe that Roman loved her more than he himself did. Their act of passion a little over a week ago had proved that. John sighed in frustration, trying not to dwell on seeing her making love to Roman on the same night that she had been in his bed. Even though she had pulled away from him… even though she hadn’t been sure about her feelings… John would never have thought that Marlena would rush off to sleep with Roman.
He thought that perhaps she had felt guilty and made love with Roman out of pity and guilt. But John also knew that Marlena wasn’t one to throw her body away on every whim. No, he knew that she had decided that night. Something had made her determined to stay with Roman Brady… her husband. As much as he hated to admit it, John knew that it was the right decision. After all, what could he possibly offer her now? An uncertain future… not knowing who he was or what he had done in his past life… no home, no job, no security. Roman could offer her all those things… and as much as John disliked the man, he knew that he loved her and treated her right… or Marlena wouldn’t have stayed with him. Plus, he was her husband… and John knew that Marlena’s loyalties were strong. She wouldn’t give up on her marriage without a tremendous fight.
John knew that he would have to savour these moments with his ‘Doc’. To take what he could get of her smiles, her whispers, her hugs, even her temper tantrums. Because he knew that soon he would have to give it all up… to Roman. At the moment that she chose for sure, John would leave Salem… he would hide away to mend his broken heart, and hopefully one day, when the pain had subsided, he would be able to return.
*************************
“Damn it John… why are you doing this to me? Why are you teasing me like this?” She stood facing him, her hands on her hips, as people stopped to stare across the dance floor.
“Calm down… you need to calm down…” John grasped her arms roughly, as his warning tones sounded. He was angry, she knew it… but for once she didn’t care. “No I won’t calm down… you have no right to kiss me… you have no right to touch me anywhere…” The tears spilled from her eyes, as she glared at him, trying desperately to break free from his iron grip. She was even more furious when John continued to play the part, as if now they could cover up what had already been said. She watched incredulously as he gave a cheeky smirk to the other resort patrons, the waiters and everyone who had noticed their highly public scene, shrugging his shoulders as if to say, women! He took her elbow and tried to steer her away from the public eye, hissing gruffly in her ear as her angry shrieks filled the room. She pulled out of his grasp.
“You don’t own me John Black… you never will own me. You just like to use me to boost your ego… John Black the high and mighty protector… John Black the man who every woman lusts for… John Black…”
“I am warning you Marlena…” Their tempers were both flared… the sparks heating the air around them. It was as if no-one else was there, but those that were, were captivated by the passion between them. She felt her hand rise up like it weighed nothing, and come crashing down onto his cheek… watching the redness spread, the vision becoming blurry as the dream diverged.
Suddenly they were up in the room, the bed covered with red stain sheets seemed to mock her as the fight continued. “If you ever touch me again… I will…” She couldn’t continue, as she felt herself pushed backwards against the wall, John’s hot breath on her face as he hissed. “I have every right to touch you… I need to touch you… I need to kiss you. It’s all I can think about, day and night. You haunt me, everything about you consumes my being… your lips, your breasts, your hips, your body…”
“You just want to fuck me…” As soon as she said the words, she wished she could take them back. Even in the dream it wasn’t possible as he stared at her in disbelief. He continued, and she found herself captivated by his words. “Most of all I want your mind… I want your entire being… I want to possess you…” He crushed his lips to hers… their tongues mating erotically. And just as suddenly he pulled back. “I want you to tell me that you are mine… that I own you… that I possess your entire soul…” His intense gaze pierced a hole through her. His hand grasped her chin roughly as he waited for her answer. With laboured breathing and a desperate tone she made her reply. “It was always you John… you are the one that I always wanted… If you want me, I am yours… but you have to be mine too…”
“Always…”
Again the dream diverged… she lay on the bed, the satin sheets caressing her skin. It was almost as if she was watching the scene… like it was someone else on the bed in her place. She could see the way her own back arched off the bad in sensual pleasure as John nipped and suckled at her breasts. She could see his hands fondle her centre, driving her to oblivion as her moans filled the air… “Oh John… God John… I need you so badly. I am yours…” She breathed the words, knowing that they were what he wanted to hear, and what she needed to say. Finally she had chosen.
The sense of panic filled her as the highly sensual, erotic sense left the dream. Roman stood there, a ghost-like presence… cursing their names as he watched them as they scrambled to dress their fevered naked bodies. “I’m sorry Roman… but John is the man that I love…” The words were spoken in her voice, and came from her mouth, but it was as if she didn’t say them. “Doc, you love me… he seduced you… he brainwashed you…”
She screamed as the gunshot rang out… muffled like it had never happened. Then she saw them… both of them lying on the floor in a pool of blood. Both of them had killed to have her… and now neither of them were there to claim her. The last thing she saw was her own pale body cradling the two men… their blood pooling together as their lives slowly ebbed.
She woke crying… her entire body shaking and wracked with sobs as she called their names. “John… Roman… Nooooo…” He woke as soon as he heard her scream and was by her side in an instant. At once he saw how shaken up she was, and was concerned by the tears the streamed down her face. He touched her arm tenderly, appealing to her to wake up.
“Marlena… Doc… it was just a dream… come on, wake up…” She opened her eyes when she heard his voice, her heart pounding in her chest as she tried to tell herself that it was just a dream. Looking into his eyes in the darkness, Marlena threw herself into his arms, taking comfort in his warm embrace. John rocked her as she sobbed, whispering soothing words of comfort as he felt her relax into his embrace.
*************************
“That was amazing.”
“It was better than I even dreamed about.”
Roman couldn’t move… he was rooted to the couch… his eyes were fixated on the television screen in front of him, the blood boiling as he watched the scene. He hadn’t believed it before, even when he had confronted Marlena about her feelings for John he had never actually believed that she would act on them. But there she was on the screen, being fucked by John Black. As much as he couldn’t bear to watch it, the way she moved, the desperate moans that she elicited, the view of her sweaty body had him transfixed. Finally when he could take no more, Roman jumped up and stamped over to the television, picking it up with all of the strength that he could muster, and throwing it out of the window. The glass splintered and crashed, sending a shower across the living room. He was in a fit of rage. His screams could be heard across the Salem night, and he knew that people would be able to hear. But he couldn’t stop it… he didn’t want to stop it. “You bitch…” He spat to a photo of Marlena that was sitting on the mantle. “You promised me that you loved me… that you didn’t have feelings for him. You SLUT!” He threw the framed picture onto the ground, and watched with satisfaction as it broke into pieces.
Roman couldn’t get the picture of her out of his mind… the way she had reacted to John in the way he wanted her to react to him. He always tried to please her, but Roman knew that each time they had sex, he was usually the one who ended up satisfied… although she always lied and said that she was too. Now Roman knew for a fact that Marlena had been lying. He was glad for a moment that she wasn’t there, because right now she would have been the victim of his wrath. Roman calmed slightly as he closed his eyes, imagining the moment when he would make her pay for deceiving him… he would have her and he would make her beg for him. He would make sure she moved in the same way she had in the video tape. He would make her scream his name.
John… the name ran through his head like a broken record, and suddenly Roman knew that John Black had to pay. He had done this to Marlena… he had seduced her to his bed. He had made her scream and moan and move like a goddess in the throes of passion. And now, he would be out of the way for good.
Taking his gun, Roman made his way to the Salem Inn… where he knew John would be.
**************************
His chest was wet from her tears, her cheeks still held traces of dried tears, and she was asleep in his arms. Her breathing was peaceful, her chest rose and fell at a relaxed rhythm. But John did not want to let her go… not yet. Finally he fell asleep, finally at peace as she rested in his arms.
He drove like a maniac… desperate to get to the police station to confront Abe. He couldn’t even believe what Isabella had told him.
“John is with Marlena Roman. He volunteered to go on witness protection with your wife…”
He didn’t know how he had gotten through the night, after going to John’s motel room and finding him missing. Only to find out that he was with marlena. He tried not to picture what they were doing at that very moment… but again and again… over and over in his mind… he could see her exquisite body writhe beneath his, her screams as he satisfied her completely. And the vision had haunted him long into the early hours of this morning. The alcohol hadn’t even helped much, nor had the quick fuck with the same girl from the club that he had picked up before Marlena had returned. He could still see her in his arms, and the blind jealousy and rage overwhelmed him. He couldn’t even imagine what he would do when he saw them… depending on what position he found them in. Fantasies filled his deranged head of strangling John, and taking Marlena the way he wanted her. But he also knew that if he did that he would lose her forever.
Right now, Roman needed to get to the station. He fingered the envelope that Orpheus had given him the previous night… hoping that it would contain enough evidence to have Abe call off the witness protection so that he could have Marlena and John come back to Salem. Then he would decide what to do with the cheating slut and her lover.
**************************
Marlena awoke, her mind still reeling from last night’s dream. The sun filtered through the window and the birds sung outside. John’s arms were around her, holding her so tightly, and she sighed. She rolled over into him and tucked her head under his chin, smiling when John readjusted his position so that he was still holding her closely. For a moment she thought that she was still dreaming… that she and John had consummated their love… and that now they were lying together in the afterglow. With eyes full of tenderness and utter contentment, Marlena looked at his sleeping form… the sweet smile on his face, his breathing so peaceful as he fought with the morning so that he could stay asleep for just one moment longer. She took her hand and tenderly caressed his cheekbone, noticing the slight stubble that gathered there. She then traced his lips, so softly… wanting nothing more than to feel them on hers. She leaned down and placed her lips onto his, for a kiss so chaste, yet so sweet. Instantly John’s eyes opened, and he opened his lips, begging for more. Marlena looked down at him and leaned in again, opening her mouth and allowing the kiss to deepen. Before she knew what was happening, John had flipped them over and was attacking her mouth with reckless abandon. His hands started to wander over her body and he moaned into her mouth. “Oh Marlena…”
Her eyes shot open as she realised what was happening. This wasn’t a dream… it was happening in reality. She pushed him off forcefully, as John struggled to maintain his composure. His confusion was evident as his questioning eyes waited for an explanation. She heard herself start to ramble, but she couldn’t be sure what exactly she was saying. “John… I’m so sorry… when I turned over and was in your arms I just… I thought you were Roman…” The lies crossed her lips so easily, but Marlena knew that there was no alternative. She couldn’t possibly tell John that she had been having sexual dreams about him.
She found herself wondering why he had responded to her with such vigour, almost desperation. He was with Isabella… he had the choice to wait for Marlena to decide between him and Roman… but he had obviously found something better in his fiancé. Marlena put it down to the fact that he was a man… and she hadn’t even given him a chance to respond appropriately. They had both been caught up in the moment… her because her subconscious was taunting her… and him because he hadn’t had time to say no to her. They had shared such passion in the past, it was no wonder that they were still drawn to one another.
**************************
Isabella smirked when she thought of the look on Roman’s face when she had told him about John being with Marlena on witness protection. She had been so shocked when she had found out that her fiancé was off playing bodyguard to Marlena Evans Brady… and after Roman’s reaction when he had seen the tape and just now when she had told him about John being with Marlena, she wondered again what it was about this woman that drove men crazy. What did she have that the rest of the women in the world didn’t? “They all love me because I am so sweet and innocent, and I don’t manipulate people to get what I want…” This time Isabella could see her approaching again… the ghost of Marlena that haunted her every waking moment. “It’s because I don’t try to hurt people… I don’t lie and manipulate people into loving me…”
“That’s not true, that’s not true!” Isabella sobbed into her hands, never noticing the cruel eyes that gleamed from behind the bushes.
She didn’t hear the cruel laugh as the police approached her. “Isabella Toscano, you are under arrest for threatening the life of Marlena Brady. You have the right to remain silent…” The rest of the words blurred as Isabella shook her head in disbelief, struggling as they led her away.
*****************************
Marlena glanced quickly at the bathroom door, relieved to find that John was still in there. She wanted to make her escape from the room before he noticed that she was leaving. It wasn’t part of the plan to be separated, but Marlena had to get out of there. After this morning’s escapade, she needed to have a break from being cooped up in the same room as John for even a little while. She wanted to stop thinking about the feeling of his lips on hers, his hands on her body. She wanted to stop lusting after a man she could never commit to.
Quietly she closed the door behind her, breathing a sigh of relief as she leaned against it. Now she just had to make it to the pool and she would be home free. If she was with a lot of other people, John wouldn’t be able to make a scene, even if he did find her.
When she got to the pool, Marlena took a deep breath in, savouring the fresh air, basking in the sunlight. She removed her shirt, leaving her with her bathing suit and her sarong covering her lower body. She placed her sunglasses over her eyes and relaxed onto the nearest deck-chair, closing her eyes and relaxing into the day.
“What do you think about maybe going to… Marlena…” Almost immediately John noticed her absence. He couldn’t see her, but it went further than that. He knew without a doubt that she wasn’t in the room because he couldn’t smell her, that sweet intoxicating scent that surrounded her like a mist. It followed her wherever she went. At first he panicked… thinking that maybe Orpheus had found her. Then he noticed that her towel and bathing suit was missing. She had laid them out last night so that they would be ready for her to wear today for a swim. John pulled on his board shorts and grabbed his towel, trying to calm down, so that he wouldn’t be so angry when he found her.
He stormed out and slammed the door, the meditation not working, his mind seething. Marlena had a death wish… he didn’t understand why she couldn’t follow simple instructions.
He saw her lying there, her eyes closed behind her sunglasses, her long neck extended as she let the sun bathe her face. He could see one long leg as it peeked from the red sarong, the swell of her breasts generously exposed in the black bathing suit. His heart melted as he watched her… his anger dissolving as he yearned to touch her. But he wasn’t completely over it yet… he wanted to make her pay for worrying him. John motioned to the waiter to bring him a glass of ice cold lemonade.
Kneeling beside her resting body, John took a piece of ice from the glass and brought it towards her neck. He waited for what seemed like hours before the first single drop of cold water fell onto her skin. He couldn’t help himself… even though he knew how angry Marlena would be when she woke up. He watched as she twitched slightly. Grasping the ice more firmly, John lowered the entire piece to her neck, allowing it to touch it. Needless to say she woke with a start… her eyes searching for the culprit and fixing on him with an irritated glaze. She bit her tongue just as she was about to call out his name. She didn’t want him to have to kiss her again like he had last night during the dance.
John tried not to laugh as he realised that Marlena couldn’t say anything. She couldn’t afford to make a scene. He looked at her apologetically and offered her the glass of lemonade, his cheeky tone ringing from his voice. “I brought you a glass of water honey…” He winked at her as an angelic smile came onto Marlena’s face, her mind ticking at 100 miles per hour. “Oh honey…” she cooed, one hand reaching to take the glass from his hand, while the other caressed his cheek in a loving gesture. “That was so sweet of you…”
She stood up and stepped in front of him, watching as he stepped backwards. She had counted on him doing that very thing. John knew that she was up to something, but he couldn’t even think to stop her. He was so relieved to see the happy, playful, animated Marlena that he had once known. She was still there buried deep inside her… but today that Marlena had come to the surface. Just as he reached the edge of the pool, John knew what she had planned for him. But before he could react, Marlena had pulled the waistband of his shorts away from him and dumped the whole glass of cold lemonade down his pants. She watched in delight as John fell backwards into the safety of the pool, spluttering and swearing the entire time.
Marlena started backing away, the tears of laughter pouring down her face as she saw John’s intense stare. He was slowly edging towards the ladder of the pool, his eyes fixed on hers the entire time. “I’m going to get you…” He mouthed the words, but she didn’t miss them. She started moving faster, knowing that he was going to be there at any moment. She turned and started to run, but before she had taken two steps, she felt herself being swept off her feet and hoisted over John’s shoulder. “Mandy… you are so in for it now…” John made sure to use her fake name so that Marlena wouldn’t accidentally let his slip. But she couldn’t even talk. She was laughing and crying so hard as she tried to speak. “Don’t… oh… stop… I… ahhhh…” The words came out in fits and starts between giggles. She clawed his back, trying to find something to grab a hold of so that he couldn’t let her go. But it was no use. John reached the edge of the pool, and with Marlena still in hand, he jumped into the water, dumping her, sunglasses and all.
“Oh my god… why did you do that?” She was still laughing when she surfaced, gasping for air as she retrieved her sunglasses that were now floating beside John. “You started it pretty lady.” Marlena felt her breath catch in her throat when she heard that term come out of his mouth so freely. How she had missed the way he used to say that to her at their most romantic moments. She closed her eyes as John’s fingers found her face, brushing the wet strands of hair from her cheeks. He leaned in and touched his lips to hers, so caught up in the moment. He saw her tense just slightly, but he couldn’t stop what he so desired to happen. Instead, to allay Marlena’s fears about his own intentions, he whispered to her. “Mandy…” he didn’t even notice the look of total shock and dejection on her face as he captured her lips again for a passionate kiss, which she returned, unable to stop herself from getting lost in him. Even if it was only for show!
Marlena sat at the bar, downing her third long island iced tea in record time. She knew that John would be mad at her when he found out that she had broken the rules yet again, but right now she didn’t care. The moment in the pool would have been so perfect, if only he hadn’t have made it so crystal clear that he was only kissing her for show. Her heart wrenched when she thought of the feeling of complete wretchedness that she had experienced when John had called her Mandy… right before he kissed her. She knew that she should have stopped him right there… that she should have refused to allow him to use her like that. But as soon as she had felt his hot breath on her lips, Marlena had been powerless to refuse him. She could still feel the sting of his lips on hers. She placed her fingers to her lips, trying to relive the sensation.
“He’s not worth it if he isn’t here by your side right now…” Marlena turned to look at the figure beside her. He was a young man, blue eyes, blonde hair, and so attractive. Marlena smiled wanly, knowing that she had come here to take her mind off John. He would prove to be a distraction from her morbid thoughts.
“How did you know I was thinking about a man?” She asked with a sigh.
“Oh just a feeling that I got when I saw the look in your eyes. I’m Liam…” He offered his hand to her and a charming smile, and Marlena found herself smiling back in spite of herself.
“Ma… Mandy…” She caught herself just in time.
“Well Mandy, tonight is your lucky night. I am just the man to take away your troubles…”
**********************************
When he entered the bar, John immediately heard her, her infectious laugh floated across the room. Involuntarily, his eyes closed as he let the sound fill him, needing to revel in her happiness. His eyes were drawn to her, and he almost gasped as his own reaction to her. She wore a simple black dress, the neck cut into a v that revealed her cleavage. The capped sleeves hugged her upper arms tightly and showed off enough of her shoulders to make him weak in the knees. John had always been a sucker for Marlena’s shoulders. His eyes travelled downwards to her legs, which were crossed seductively, her right foot travelling slowly up and down her left leg. He felt the heat stir within him and he wished that he could throw her down and love her, to pleasure her like no other man could. His attention was drawn to her pose… the way she sat on the bar surface, the man that stood so close to her… the man who was making her scream with delightful laughter. An unexplained rage filled John when he saw her with him… he was sick of coming off second best with Marlena. Did some stranger look better to her than him now?
John was filled with a bitter anger as he strode up to her. Before she could even react… before she even knew that he was there, he pulled her by her hand so that she was standing. He felt her sway slightly, and he steadied her, holding her upright with his strong grip on her shoulder blades. “Hey buddy, what are you doing? She’s with me…”
The blonde man shoved John slightly, and he offered his hand to a drunk Marlena. “I’m not your buddy… and she is not with you! This is my wife…” John held up Marlena’s left hand, and realised with a gape that she had taken off the rings. “Where are your rings?” He hissed, pushing his face into hers.
“I took them off… What the hell are you doing here?” Her words were slurred, and her eyes were glazed with alcohol.
“I came to find you… I was worried about you Mar… Mandy…”
“Oh leave me alone Josh!” She spat his name like it was some kind of a disease, and pushed herself away from him. She went to the bar and retrieved her drink, sipping it greedily, as she kept her back turned.
Before she knew it John had come behind her, reaching over and taking the drink from her hands. “I think that you have had enough for one night…”
The fire in her eyes could have melted ice… there was a danger there that John remembered all too well. “How dare you tell me what I can and cannot do…” She motioned to the barman to bring her another, but John cancelled it. She turned and raised her arm, in an attempt to bring her hand smashing down onto his face. But he was too quick. John caught her dainty hand and held it in the air. “Let’s dance…” He commanded, his voice gruff. Right now all he wanted to do was hold Marlena in his arms.
She was surprised, but in her drunken state, she melted, relaxing into him as he positioned them for a dance. She allowed her head to fall onto his chest and shoulder and smiled when his face found her hair. One of her hands lay over his heart, and John’s covered it, squeezing it gently as they swayed to the music. His free hand wrapped around her body and rested on the small of her back, pulling her into him. They lost themselves in the feel of each other.
***************************
“Roman, calm down… we caught Isabella, and let me tell you that she is suffering from some serious mental health issues. She keeps talking to Marlena like she is right there in front of her.” Abe’s hands rested on Roman’s shoulders, trying to divert a crisis.
“I don’t care about that… all I want to know is where the hell Marlena and John are. I need to stop them from getting too close…” Roman raged.
“Roman, that’s ridiculous… Marlena loves you, you know that…”
“I saw her…” His jaw was clenched; his eyes narrow as he recounted what he had seen.
“She was on a tape fucking him… she fucking cheated on me…”
Abe could hardly contain his surprise, but he tried to reason with his friend.
“Roman even if that is true… Marlena is not the type to sleep around. She was probably confused at the time… I mean nothing was the same when she came back. You said yourself that Marlena had chosen you…”
“How could she Abe? How could she be fucking both of us at the one time?”
“Even if Marlena did sleep with John… she has
chosen you now! She is not going to cheat on you with anyone!”
“I bet that bastard John seduced her. I bet he is trying to seduce her now! I have to stop it. Are you going to give me the address or not?” Roman held his hand out, his face and voice determined. He would not let John Black have his wife. He would fight for the woman he loved, and the woman who was rightly his… and he knew just how to do it!
*************************
“John… I… can… walk…” Spurts of uncontrollable laughter overtook Marlena as she tried to breathe the words. She leaned her head into John’s neck, trying to calm herself down. She was hardly even aware of his hands on her bare leg as he patiently carried her towards the resort. “I don’t think so Marlena. You can’t even stop laughing…”
Again the laughter erupted from her. “You are such a baby, John Black… Just because I beat you in our little game…” She smiled and John felt himself raising his eyebrow in an amused smirk. “Honey, you are so drunk that you have no idea what went on in that game. I think I sunk all your balls for you…”
“What… no way! You lie John… Want a rematch?” She pulled her throbbing head from the safety of his neck and looked into his eyes, the competitive challenge resting there.
“No… I don’t think I could take another one of your games… you are such a cheat…”
“Let me down… I can walk…” She squirmed in his arms, so John released her, placing his arm around her waist to stop her from falling. He couldn’t help but replay the scene from earlier over in his mind.
“Your turn honey…” She purred seductively, her deep brown eyes fixed onto his. She held her drink, tipping her neck slightly as she held it up to her lips. John was mesmerised by her. “Hurry up, we don’t have all day…” She giggled as she watched him watching her. John took a deep breath and lined up his shot, glancing upwards at the last minute to see Marlena leaning over the table. She had her arms squeezed together and John could see directly down her top, leaving very little to the imagination. He took his shot and missed, running a hand through his hair in frustration.
On his next shot, Marlena had come behind him, leaning into his ear just as he moved his pool stick. “Wouldn’t you just love to do it on a pool table?”
Needless to say, John was unable to concentrate for the rest of the game, imagining Marlena’s naked body lying flat against the green felt, the balls sprawling across the table as she writhed and moaned beneath his heated touch. He knew that she was doing this as payback… and because she was drunk… but it didn’t make him want her any less. John had to admit it… that he was totally and completely head over heels in love with Marlena. He always would be.
“I’m not a cheat…” She pointed one finger at him and then let it linger on his chest. “I merely practice stra… stragety… strategy…”
She smiled a seductive smile, her eyes hooded as they darted between his lips and his eyes.
“Is that what you call that?” His voice was husky as he savoured the moment. “Yeah…”
He felt her lips come into contact with his, her sudden movement almost causing him to lose his balance. Her tongue begged with his lips to part and grant her access, and John could taste the alcohol on her breath as she made her move. He knew that he could not take advantage of her intoxicated state. John pulled back… “We can’t…”
“You’re not hungry again?” John was starting to worry about Marlena. He tried to think back to the few days that they had been staying at the resort… trying to remember if he had seen Marlena eat anything. But not one instance crossed his mind. She had been using the excuse that she was not hungry, but after three days, John highly doubted that. He started to wonder if perhaps she was sicker than even he suspected. He kept his eyes focussed on her as she looked down at the table, avoiding eye contact as she
mumbled her response.
“Marlena… what is going on?” He took her hand from across the table, squeezing it firmly, trying to get her to confide in him. “Nothing… there is nothing going on John…”
Marlena stood and left the table, walking the short distance back to their room in record time. He followed closely, waiting until she got inside before grabbing her arm, more roughly than he had intended. He spun her around, sighing when he saw the angered look on her face. He was starting to get tired of Marlena always being angry at him… and he had no idea even why he evoked that response in her.
“Tell me what is wrong. Tell me why you are so angry with me…” He demanded. Marlena sighed, finally the weariness overtaking her again. She couldn‘t handle feeling like this any more. She couldn’t handle another confrontation with the man who kept her entire world in turmoil. She was sick of being angry at him… she was sick of feeling so confused… she was sick of wanting him so badly, yet not knowing if she even loved him. She knew that she couldn’t take any more. “I am fine John… I just need to get home to Roman…” John heard her words, but somehow he knew that she was saying that to get to him in some way. Perhaps it was her way of telling him to back off, and the words hurt… but no so much as they would if she truly meant them. He would back off for now, but John knew that he would pursue this issue at some point. It was her health at stake, and John wasn’t willing to risk that in order to spare her feelings.
She left him there, knowing that he didn’t believe her… knowing that he could see through her like no one else could. She had to hide her confusion from him at all costs. “I’m having a bath…” She muttered the words, only telling him so that he wouldn’t follow her, and her from where he stood as she closed and locked the bathroom door.
He taunts me night and day. Bringing in food that is laced with mind-controlling drugs. At first I didn’t know… but then it became all too clear, as they started to alter my thinking. He didn’t count on me figuring it out. And when I did, I began to refuse to eat. It started first out of necessity.
Today he came into my room… a tray of delicious looking chicken in his arms. He moved it in front of my face, making sure to allow me to smell the aroma of food… my stomach begged for me to eat it… but I knew that I couldn’t. He even told me that it was not laced with drugs, and I believed him. He was getting concerned about my malnutrition… the way my face had become more pale, my body thinner. He wanted me to eat so that he could continue with his plans for me.
I knew that I should eat it. I knew that I would slowly fade away… but I found that I couldn’t do it. I found that my hand would just not allow my fork to enter my mouth. I am scared of food… I am scared of what can be hidden inside it. I am scared of Orpheus’s games.
I don’t know if I will ever be the same again!
***************************
John looked up from the book he was reading, realising suddenly that Marlena was still in the bathroom. He glanced at his watch and knew that it had been far too long. Even if she was hiding from him, she should have been out of the bathroom long ago. He called her name as he got up and walked to the bathroom door. He pressed his ear against it but could hear nothing. His heart pounded as he worried about her. “Marlena… are you okay?” He knocked heavily on the door, and when she didn’t answer, he knew that he had to take drastic measures. He would never forgive himself if she was hurt in any way.
John ran at the door, breaking the lock as he burst in. Marlena lay there in the bath, her head lolled backwards, the worry lines masking her flawless complexion. Instantly he was by her side and he lifted her from the bath, calling her name, as he feared the worse. She looked so deathlike, but she woke as soon as she felt his arms around her.
Marlena screamed, and John put her down, startled as her shrieks sounded. “What the hell are you doing John?” He wasn’t even aware of her naked body as she stood in front of him, all he cared about was that she was okay. He crushed her towards him, and heard her sharp intake of breath as her abdomen twinged in pain. He immediately pulled away and looked down at the deep purple bruise. “Oh my god Marlena… how can that still be there?” His eyes widened as he looked up at her, needing an explanation. Marlena blushed, her eyes downcast and she spoke in controlled tones. “I don’t know who you think you are John… but I would appreciate it if you would please leave?” She grabbed a nearby towel and wrapped it around her body, closing the door as John slowly walked out, allowing her a few minutes to get dressed, before he knew he would confront her again. Something was seriously wrong with Marlena, and he intended to find out what it was.
********************************
Roman saw the sign and knew that he was close. In thirty minutes he would be at the resort where John and Marlena were staying. He would be able to see for himself what was going on between the two of them, and make a claim for Marlena using his trump card. He was married to Marlena, and as long as Marlena remained the fine, decent, upstanding Dr Evans, she would find it hard to give up on that. Especially if he laid the guilt trip on her.
********************************
When she emerged from the bathroom, he took her arm and started again.
“Dammit Marlena, tell me why you haven’t eaten a thing in the past few days.”
He didn’t release his hold on her as the tears streamed down her face. “Leave me alone John…” He didn’t want to hurt her like this, but his anger had taken over… He needed to know what was wrong with the woman he loved. “Not until you tell me how long this has been going on…”
”I just haven’t been hungry these last few days, that’s all!”
“Don’t lie to me Marlena. How can you look at yourself in the mirror and think that everything is fine?” He stared at her, the disbelief on his face, his own voice starting to crack. “Look at this…” He dragged her over to the full length mirror and squeezed her upper arms tightly, feeling the bones beneath it. “Look at this…” He grabbed her chin and made her stare into the mirror, her pale face so visible in contrast to the eyes that were now red from crying. “And dammit… look at this…”
He grabbed her shirt and pulled it upwards, grabbing her ribs which protruded like they never had before. “How can you say that everything is fine?” His voice was choked with tears, and her bitter sobs resounded throughout the room. “And the bruise… god, the Marlena I know would never let herself get to this state… she was a fighter, she would never have given up on herself like you seem to have. Dammit!” John released her suddenly as though her skin burnt him. He ran a hand through his hair, keeping hold of a handful of it, as though the pain would stop the spiral of self-destruction.
Marlena looked up at him through tear filled eyes. His face was blurry, but she knew that the concern and the grief were real. She spoke, more quietly, her sobs more controlled now. “Maybe she died the moment she came home and her life had been turned upside down. Or maybe it was when she was being constantly taunted for months on end by the man whom she fears most in the entire world. Maybe she never even existed in the first place.” She turned towards the window, unable to face John’s gaze as he slowly lifted his head to look at her. “I am sorry that I am not good enough for you anymore John… I am sorry that my body disgusts you. I guess that it was a good thing that you found Isabella. Now I just hope that she is a strong person and that she will never let herself become swept away by emotions…” She spoke the words bitterly, knowing how much they would hurt him, and wanting them to cut deep. He had caused this… he needed to know how much he was hurting her.
John was speechless. He opened his mouth several times to speak, yet no words came out. He didn’t even know where to start putting his retorts into words. He took a deep breath and stepped closer to Marlena, placing his hands on her shoulders. She tensed but she didn’t move away. “Marlena, how can you say those things… how can you even think them? You don’t disgust me… god knows, you don’t. You would be beautiful to me no matter what you looked like.” Marlena scoffed, trying to pull away from where his chest now rested lightly on her back. “Don’t pull away from me… Let me finish… I don’t blame you for what you are feeling right now. I know how hard this is for you, and all I wanted was to make it easier for you to make your decision.”
“Yeah and you did that by taking the choice out of my hands. You did that by sleeping with Isabella. What choice did I have after that?”
Marlena spun to face him, her sullen tone so accusing as she crossed her arms and held his gaze. “What are you talking about?” John did a double take… the surprise on his face evident. “I didn’t sleep with Isabella…”
The scorn entered her eyes as she heard his denial. She laughed cruelly. “I can’t believe you. I can’t believe that you think that I am so naive that I would believe your lies. You know… I would have thought that you would have had the decency to tell me the truth… but instead you lie to my face… Maybe I was lucky that I saw you making love to her. Maybe it saved me a lot of grief.”
John grabbed her upper arms, imploring Marlena to explain herself, his head shaking in disbelief as he witnessed her confession. “No, no, no…” He murmured, “I haven’t been with Isabella since before you came back. I would never do that to you.”
“Yeah? Well, I suppose we both know in our hearts that you would… and you did.” Her eyes were glazed with hatred for the web of lies that she thought he was spinning, her respect for John diminishing as the conversation progressed.
John couldn’t help but bite back, her nasty remarks hitting him to the core. “Oh, what and I am supposed to believe that you are the angel in all this. The woman who had sex with another man in the same day that she seduced me…” He laughed bitterly, knowing in his heart that he shouldn’t have said it. He could never blame Marlena for being with her husband… the man to whom she was legally married. “Seduced you? Ha, that’s a laugh! As I recall you were begging me for it John.
With your whole… poor lost John routine.
Dammit, I slept with you out of pity.”
“Don’t you ever say that to me…” John eyes flashed dangerously. His grip on her arms was so powerful that it could have caused bruising. His voice was filled with rage.
“Why not? I mean, it’s not like it matters to you anyway. So long as you have a woman in your bed, you are happy. Funny, I never would have picked you for the womanising type… but I guess one woman in a day wasn’t enough for you. I guess when I told you that I needed time at the hospital that night when Sami was sick, you needed to look to satisfy yourself in other ways. I suppose that Isabella looked good to you after having me with my disgusting body…”
“What the hell is wrong with you? I told you that I didn’t sleep with Isabella. And I don’t think that you are disgusting…” She cut him off.
“Yeah? Well how do I know that you aren’t lying to my face right now? I saw you two together on the pier. I saw you kissing her. I saw you tearing at her clothes. And then I heard you going at it… in your motel room.”
John was incredulous. He couldn’t even believe what he was hearing. “I was there to tell you that I hadn’t chosen between you and that what had happened between us was not a mistake… not in my book anyway. And you were there with her.”
“I didn’t sleep with Isabella… I don’t know what you heard, but that wasn’t me…”
“Whatever…” Fresh sobs started to escape from her and John still held her arms tightly. He released his grip slightly and Marlena raised her hands to her face, hiding her despair.
“I don’t know how I can get you to believe me.” Suddenly John realised something. “You didn’t think that being with me was a mistake?” A slight hint of happiness had crept into his tone, and Marlena raised her eyes to look at him. “No… not then…” She spoke quietly, almost in a whisper as though she was scared to say the words.
“Marlena… I can’t even explain to you the depth of my feelings for you. No matter what you do, no matter where you are, no matter how you look… my heart pines for you. I need you…” John placed his lips onto hers before she could protest, and he smiled through his tears when she returned it… opening her mouth to encourage more.
She allowed herself to revel in his kiss for just a few seconds longer than she should have… her pride too fierce to allow her to forgive him. Not when he lied to her. She pulled away and pushed his arms away from her, their touch now severed completely. “Marlena, I love you… you have to believe that…” He pleaded, wanting nothing more than to take her back in his arms and take away all of her pain… to apologise for saying the things that he had said.
“I believe that you love me in your own twisted way John. I believe that you want me… I believe that you care about me…” She cried desperately. “But I will never ever be with you in that way again, John. It was a mistake, I should have seen that right away. And this was a mistake…” She indicated to the room with a brush of her hand.
John nodded, knowing now that he had lost Marlena forever. “I need you to do something for me… I need you to get those bruises treated and I need you to eat something.” He had to have at least one last try.
“You never give up, do you John?” With that Marlena sunk into the nearest chair and cried bitterly.
****************************
Roman entered the room, his rage somewhat diminished, knowing that he would have to keep his cool if he was going to keep Marlena in his life. Unless he caught John and Marlena in a compromising position, he would play hero… he would win Marlena back with his devotion.
The first thing he saw was Marlena sitting in a chair, crying her heart out, and he felt such intense love for her. “What is going on here?”
John stood by the window, his face peering outwards, worry lines and dried tears streaked across his cheeks.
“Roman…” Marlena stood up and rushed into his arms, crushing herself into his embrace as he kissed her hair. “I’m so glad you’re here…”
Orpheus smiled as he saw the car pull up at the Brady house. The prodigal princess had returned. He watched as Roman opened the passenger side door for his wife, who was looking the worse for wear, her eyes red and swollen from crying. Her mouth was turned downwards into a sullen frown, but when Roman offered her his hand, her eyes brightened and a small smile lit up her features. Obviously things hadn’t gone so well on witness protection for the happy couple. He wondered briefly where John was.
Orpheus placed the item that he was holding into his coat pocket, taking one last look at Marlena’s panties before he did. One day he would be taking a pair of those off her… but for now… these would suffice.
**************************
John wanted to throw himself off a cliff. He couldn’t bear to think of life without Marlena… even as a friend. He had blown all chances of that happening… she would never forgive him after the argument that they had had just hours before. His heart broke as he recalled her tears, the way she sobbed into Roman’s arms as if he was her saviour. And the way he had acted, as though he had rescued his princess from the evil monster. “Damn!” He screamed the word out loudly, trying to keep some control of himself, as he remembered the few seconds before Marlena had left the resort with Roman. He had tried to make it right… but she wouldn’t let him.
“Marlena…” He called to her back, watching as Roman’s arm tightened around her, their backs facing him.
“Haven’t you done enough already, John?” Roman spat, turning accusing eyes on John. Marlena wouldn’t even look at him… she hardly even acknowledged that he had spoken.
“I wasn’t talking to you…” His tone was irritated, and he knew that he shouldn’t bite back at Roman… but he couldn’t help it. The man was so exasperating. “Marlena, please?”
He tried again, his focus again directed to Marlena’s back. He could see her breathing quicken, and her face turn slightly, as though she wanted to say something. But she didn’t. Instead she had squeezed Roman’s arm and leaned in to whisper in his ear, words just loud enough so that John could hear.
“Please, get me out of here?”
John could feel the panic rising in his chest, and it was then that he knew that he couldn’t let her walk out of the room, not without them at least talking to each other. He rushed towards her and grasped her arm, hearing her shriek as he spun her around to face him.
“Please… I just wanted to apologise. Please, Marlena… don’t leave like this…”
Marlena levelled her cool gaze at him and took a deep breath, fighting the angry tears that threatened to resurface. “I never want to speak to you again.” With that she turned to Roman, and walked out of the room… and John’s life.
**************************
“Are you going to tell me what happened now?”
Roman handed Marlena a steaming cup of tea. She sat on the couch staring into space, but upon his entry she made a concerted effort to smile warmly. It was hard considering her heart felt like it had been torn in two.
“I don’t know if I am ready to tell you yet…” She confessed, her honesty surprising Roman.
“But honey, I am your husband. I want to know what got you so upset. Maybe there is something that I can do to help?” Roman was determined to find out what had happened between his wife and John. He wanted to know what they had argued about.
This was a good sign… maybe she would be so mad at John that she would never talk to him again… just as she had said before they had left the resort.
“You can’t help!” Marlena spoke firmly, and Roman knew that she was closing up. He needed to find a way to get through to her.
“What did John do to you? Did he hurt you? If he hurt you I will kill him…” Marlena jumped as she heard Roman threaten John, his impassioned tone filling her with terror. She grabbed his arm and looked deeply into his eyes, and at that moment knew that he was serious. She didn’t know whether to be flattered or scared. But she did know that she was scared for John.
And Roman could see that too, the way she grabbed him, the way her brown eyes seemed suddenly so scared. He knew that Marlena’s feelings for John were deeper than even she would admit. But he also knew that she loved him more… and she always had. He would make Marlena see that. He tried not to get angry when she pleaded with him. “Roman… please don’t hurt John?” The look that she gave him could have melted his heart at any other time, but all Roman could feel was jealousy that his wife’s whole heart didn’t all belong to him. “Why shouldn’t I? He hurt you… he made you cry. And you are still upset. Did he hit you?” He grabbed her arm, more forcefully than was necessary.
“No…” Marlena practically screamed, slow tears escaping from her eyes. “He didn’t do anything to me. I did it all to myself…” Marlena was as surprised as Roman that she had spoken the words. But the fact was that she wasn’t angry at John… not for telling her that she needed to look after herself. The whole fight had started because she had been angry at herself. Angry for what she did to her body day after day. Angry at the way she was feeling about John and about Roman. Angry about the way her body betrayed her every time she saw him. And most of all angry at the way she let Orpheus get to her.
“What do you mean by that?” Roman broke Marlena from her thoughts.
“I mean that I started the whole fight. John was worried about my safety. He would never hurt me Roman.” Marlena stumbled over the words, not wanting to tell Roman what the fight was really about.
“Did he hurt you?” Roman almost wanted her to say yes. Then he would have another reason to beat John to a pulp… on top of sleeping with Marlena.
“No!” Again he was angered by her quick response. “Roman… I am tired. I really need to get some sleep.”
“OK baby. Why don’t you freshen up and I will meet you up there?” Roman rubbed her leg seductively, and with each movement his hand travelled higher and higher. Marlena stood from the couch, pushing his hand off her. “Not tonight honey, I am really tired.”
He couldn’t believe it. He hadn’t seen his wife for days and yet here she was rejecting him. “It’s about John, isn’t it? You are in love with him, aren’t you?” He stared into Marlena’s eyes accusingly.
“Why would you say that Roman? Why do we have to go through this over and over again?” She turned away from him, not wanting her face to betray her confusion. “Because, I know that you slept with him…” She spun to face him, and saw his sad frame, his eyes downcast as his feet shuffled on the floor. He was the picture of misery. “W… What?” She stammered, hoping that she had heard wrong.
“You heard me Marlena…” His eyes met hers, and in them lay the hint of a challenge. With that look Marlena knew that he wasn’t bluffing. “John ###### you… or was it the other way around… did you #### him?” Marlena winced at the way he was referring to her and John’s act of love, even though she had said that herself to John this afternoon. Now she knew how much it would have hurt him when she let it slip from her mouth.
“Oh god… oh Roman… I don’t even know…” The tears fell from her eyes. And Roman stopped her with a word. “Don’t.”
“Roman, please?” She begged, trying to get him to look at her. She came close to him and pulled his chin up so that his eyes met hers. “How did you find out?” She asked gently.
“That doesn’t matter Marlena. But when I did, it hurt worse than anything I have ever felt before. To know that you were running from my bed to his… it hurt.”
“I understand… I do. But Roman… it wasn’t like that. I slept with John once. We just got carried away… wrapped up in the past. I know that you don’t want to hear this, but we shared something when we thought that John was Roman. We thought that we were in love.” Her voice was soft, as she tried to explain it away hoping that she could say something to make Roman feel better, wondering herself if she actually believed what she was saying.
“You are right! I don’t want to hear it. Why do you always seem to forget that it wasn’t real? His memories and feelings and emotions were implanted into his brain. And you only loved him when you found out that he was supposedly me. That is hardly a basis for a relationship.”
Marlena felt like she had been stung. Finally it all made sense. And it had taken Roman to help her realise that. She could never have a relationship with John… his feelings for her weren’t real. They were implanted. And after this afternoon she knew that they didn’t have a chance to be together anyway. After the way she had treated John, Marlena would be surprised if he ever talked to her again. “Roman… I’m sorry…” Her voice was small, and she nuzzled her face into his neck. She was encouraged when he didn’t push her away.
“Tell me that that’s all it was… just a trip down memory lane? A goodbye ####?”
She closed her eyes to hide the onslaught of emotions that filled her. “John and I are never going to be together. He knows that. I know that. And now I want you to know that. It will never happen again.”
Roman took Marlena’s face between his hands and smiled at her. He leaned in to kiss her, but Marlena pulled away. “But…”
He groaned. “But what?”
“I’m sorry Roman. I just cannot bring myself to pretend that everything is okay between us. Things have changed and we have been fools to try to act like they haven’t. We have been trying to pick up where we left off in 1985… and it just isn’t working.”
“Are you saying that you don’t want to be with me?” Roman asked, hiding his rage. His fists slowly clenched.
“No… I am just saying that we need to work through a few things. Like what happened while you were away… About John… About the kids. I love you Roman, and I want to be with you… only if it is going to work, we need to do it properly. I won’t commit to you right now, but I want to try to get back to the extraordinary love that we once shared.” She kissed his lips softly, trying to make him understand.
“And John?” He awaited the answer in nervous anticipation.
“I am not saying that I will forget John. I intend to be friends with him and I want him to be a part of the kids’ lives. They love him and he loves them.”
“I suppose that’s fair!” Roman waited until Marlena went upstairs and then grabbed the nearest bottle of liquor, cursing John’s name as he drank the entire contents.
She had just bought herself time to figure out what it was that she really wanted.
Isabella tried to reason with them, but she wasn’t getting anywhere. “So, how long have you been seeing apparitions of Dr Evans?” He was dressed in a white coat, just like the movies had always described. But this was real life… this time she had been taken away by the men in white coats. And now she wasn’t allowed to leave. “I am not crazy…” She screamed at the man, knowing that her outburst wouldn’t help her case, but so fed up with all of the small talk. “Then why did you threaten Dr Evan’s life? Why did you plant a audio tape in John Black’s apartment so that she would think that he was making love to you? Why did you video-tape Dr Evans and John Black having sex, and send the tape to Roman Brady?”
Isabella stared sullenly into space. She hoped that John wouldn’t find out about this… he just couldn’t. She refused to answer the question. “Miss Toscano… I believe that you are obsessed with Marlena Evans and John Black…” He spoke calmly, as her face became more and more angry.
“I AM NOT… I LOVE JOHN!” With that the nurse took Isabella away.
************************
Marlena woke up to the feeling of the sunlight on her face. She sighed, her eyes swollen from crying herself to sleep, her head pounding with the beginnings of a headache that she knew would last all day. Her bruises were aching more than they had in a long time. She turned over in bed, needing to steal just a few more moments of sleep before having to face the day, but she found that it was impossible when she saw him laying beside her.
Marlena opened her eyes wide when his arm snaked around her sneakily, lightly touching her bruised area which caused her to become more irritated than she already was. She blew out a deep breath, trying to control her temper before speaking to him. But then she felt his hand touch her breast. “Good morning…” He spoke cheekily. “What are you doing?” She stared at him in disapproval, and his hand moved away from her.
“Oh baby… I couldn’t stand to be away from you. I swear that I only wanted to sleep beside you. I wasn’t going to try anything, honestly. Just being near you is enough for me…” Marlena merely looked at him, removed his hand completely from her body and then stood up to get out of the bed. She locked the bathroom door after her. Her headache had gotten worse already. She didn’t know how she was going to face John today.
**************************
“Thanks for telling me Abe.” John hung up the phone, his head reeling from what he had just heard. Isabella was in a mental institution. Isabella had been the one who had threatened Marlena’s life. John could hardly fathom what must have been going through his ex-fiancé’s mind when she had written that note… and he didn’t want to believe that it was true. But Abe had said that the DNA had come back 100% accurate. It had been Isabella.
John was relieved though. Now he had an explanation for why Marlena had thought that she had heard him having sex with Isabella. It was a tape… that she had planted in his motel room, the night that she had come down to the pier… no doubt to distract him so that he wouldn’t discover her dirty trick. He wondered how she had managed to get Marlena there… or had it been coincidence that Marlena had played right into her hands?
John needed to take a shower so that he could calm down. Then he would go and see Marlena… he wanted to try to apologise again and explain to her that Isabella had been behind her thinking that he had cheated on her.
He let the warm water wash over his rippled muscles, feeling more refreshed with every drop that cascaded down his body. He let himself get lost in yet another fantasy of Marlena.
John was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t even hear the sound of the bathroom door click shut ever so quietly. He didn’t hear her soft footsteps as she made her way across the damp floor. He didn’t even see her as she opened the glass shower screen, and snuck in to stand behind him.
He did feel her hands as she encircled his body, her naked flesh pressed against his wet skin. “John… I realised something today. I realised that I love you… and that I want to be with you…” She stood on tiptoes so that she could reach his ear, murmuring over the sound of the running water. “You what?” He closed his eyes as he felt her skilled hands run over his body, lathering him with soap. “I love you… I want you… Only you!”
She smiled as her teeth bit his ear ever so gently. John shuddered, and spoke again with a shaky voice, turning around so that he was facing her. “I never slept with Isabella…” But Marlena placed one finger upon his lips before he could finish. “Shhhh…” Her arms travelled around his back and she pressed herself into him. John’s hands followed suit and rested on the small of her back. She continued. “I know! I should have believed you all along. I should never have doubted you. Kiss me…” Her lips were so close to his, and her eyes were pleading and so full of both love and lust. John couldn’t have resisted even if he tried. “I’ll always love you,” he murmured hotly, before pressing his lips to hers.
He had her pressed up against the glass shower screen, thrusting into her heaving body with all of his might. Neither of them noticed that the glass creaked and the door shook with each and every thrust. John closed his eyes when he heard her scream out his name, and sighed when he felt her walls tighten around him as she reached her climax.
John was woken from his fantasy, his erection throbbing as he heard the insistent knock at the front door. He cursed the interruption, certain that had he finished the fantasy, he would have been satisfied. How he longed to have that dream come true… Marlena coming to him, telling him that she loved him, and that she wanted him. With eyes still darkened with desire, John pulled his jeans on as he strode to the door.
“John.” She greeted him, looking him up and down, admiring his wet upper body. “Did I interrupt something?” John merely looked at her, unable to do anything else. Her eyes and her body bewitched him, and still reeling from his shower fantasy, John couldn’t prevent his actions. Before Marlena had time to react John had grabbed her by the lapels of her pink coat, pulling her to him for a searing kiss.
Marlena’s head spun and she couldn’t stop her reaction to him. He smelt heavenly, his body clean and fresh, the wetness of his chest pressed into her upper body, soaking her clothes. She parted her lips when John’s tongue begged for access, unable to prevent her whimper as she lost herself in the sensations that just his kiss could instil in her. Then she felt him pull back, her confused eyes searching his as he stared at her, panting slightly, and trying to catch his breath. “I’m sorry.” His words were sincere, and he removed himself completely from her presence, making his way to the far side of the room.
When he got there, John turned to face her, his lower body pulsating as he noticed her red parted lips. She was speechless, trying to find some words to say. He beat her to it. “I am sorry… I can’t even offer an excuse for doing that. I got caught up in the moment, but I didn’t deliberately set out to kiss you…”
“It’s okay John…” She found her voice and stepped closer towards him, her headache again troubling her. She frowned slightly as she tried to fight the pain. “You have a headache, huh?” John asked, trying to act like the kiss hadn’t happened.
“Uh huh… how did you guess?” She smiled wanly, raising her head to meet his gaze.
“I remember every look that ever crossed your face Doc… I can read you like a book. I thought that I had lost that in the past week… but I can see now that I didn’t. Have you taken something for the pain?” He asked the question to change the subject, noticing the look of concern that crossed her face as he had spoken of their intimacy. Marlena nodded. “I woke up with it this morning. I didn’t even want to get out of bed. I knew that it would be a bad one.”
“Can I do anything?” John asked concernedly, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “No… I’ll be fine. I just came here to talk to you. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for what I put you through back at the resort. I had no right to say the things that I did…” She hung her head in shame, the tears welling up in her eyes. John placed a finger under her chin and raised her face so that she would look at him. “Listen to me… we both said some things that we didn’t mean back there. It had been such a stressful time for both of us, and especially you. And you were right all along…. I have no right to tell you how to live your life.”
“No John, you were right. And although I can’t tell you about it now, one day I will. And I will try to get through it…” Her voice was small and full of shame.
“You don’t have to do it alone, Marlena. I will always be here for you… and I’m sure that Roman would want to know what you are going through. He does love you, you know?” He grasped her hands, not realising how such a small touch could send his body into overdrive.
“Thanks… that means a lot to me.”
“And there is something that I need to tell you… about Isabella.” Marlena’s head shot up at the painful reminder of Isabella. She gazed at him, watching as he shifted his weight from foot to foot, trying to decide where to start with his explanation. “You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to John…” She wanted to offer him a way out. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to hear what he had to say.
“No… I have to tell you. Abe called me and told me that Isabella was arrested for sending you that threatening note…” He watched as Marlena’s face turned pale and he guided her over to the couch. “Isabella?”
“Yes… apparently she was obsessed with me… and was jealous of you. She taped you and I that night that we… you know…” Marlena blushed as the reality sunk in. Roman had seen the tape. “And she also planted an audio tape of herself and I having sex when we were together… god only knows how she managed that… into my apartment, so that you would think that I was with her.”
“So you didn’t sleep with Isabella?” Relief washed over her as John shook his head, his piercing gaze sending shivers down her spine. She felt her head pound and she frowned in discomfort, placing her forehead into her cool hands to soothe it.
“Turn around… I think that I remember how to make your headaches disappear.”
“What are you going to do?” Her voice was almost childlike as she
peered up at him with frightened eyes. She was frightened of her own reaction to him… of her relief when she had found out that John hadn’t slept with Isabella. Again her heart had been thrown into turmoil.
John chuckled and turned her around, so that her back was facing him. He could smell the scent of her perfume, and it reminded him of the ocean. He wanted to lean into her and drink it in. He moved his legs until they were sitting one on either side of her. His eyes travelled her back, from her beautiful silky hair, that was pinned up so intricately. He wanted to reach up and remove the pin, and to watch in fascination as it fell freely down her back. He could see her white neck, the wisps of hair caressing it. He put his hands on Marlena’s shoulders and eased her thick pink coat from them, pulling it off entirely. She didn’t resist. Now he could see her shapely shoulders… peeking out from her off the shoulder top. He placed his warm hands onto her skin and watched as goose-bumps arose underneath his fingers. Then he heard her sigh.
With skilled fingers, he began to knead her shoulders, his fingers dancing across her skin and sending her senses into oblivion. She relaxed into his touch, dropping her head forward, as his hands took her cue and massaged her neck. He ran his skilled fingers up along the middle of her neck, reaching her hairline. He was so tempted to take out the pin that held it up, but he took a deep breath and resisted. “That feels so good…” He vaguely heard her soft murmur, and he could feel how relaxed she was, her neck and shoulders now so floppy and malleable. He placed his palms flat against her back and started again, kneading and massaging. John drew in a shaky breath. He didn’t know who was enjoying this more, her or him. But he knew that he desired more.
Suddenly he flashed back to the afternoon just a few weeks ago, when she had been writhing beneath him on this very couch. He wondered if she was remembering too. He couldn’t help himself. Raising his hand up to her neck he caressed the skin there and lowered his lips to it’s exquisite nape to place a sensual kiss there. He heard her intake of breath, but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t… not unless she asked him to.
Marlena let her eyes flutter closed at the feeling of John’s lips upon her neck. She wanted nothing more than for him to continue… for them to relive the night when they had made love here. She almost gave in to what her body wanted, but somehow her hooded gaze found the fourth finger of her right hand, its ring glimmering up at her. She pulled away from him suddenly. “John… I’m sorry… we can’t…” Her voice was shaky as she tried to convince him. But John could see the doubt in her eyes. He could see how much she wanted him. He edged closer to her, his stare reading into her very soul. Marlena stepped backwards, until she hit the wall, and then she couldn’t go any further. Yet John didn’t stop, until he was oppressively close to her, his fresh scent assaulting her senses, and filling her with renewed lust for him. She closed her eyes when his hand found her neck, and his gaze seemed so focussed on the skin beneath his fingertips. “We can do this… I know that you want to…” His voice was raspy, and oh so desirous. He needed her. “Admit it Marlena… you want me too?” He stared into her eyes and pushed his lower body into hers, letting her feel his arousal. Marlena’s eyes widened. John’s lips descended onto hers and their urgency matched each others as their tongues duelled, each fighting for control.
Suddenly Marlena found her inner strength. Remembering that she didn’t love John and remembering her promise to Roman, she pushed John away from her. “I can’t… I am married to Roman.”
John stared at her in disappointment, his face falling as he read the determination that was set on hers. “We need each other…”
He pleaded with her, wanting to try at least one last time to win her. But it was no use.
He knew that he should have expected the words even before she opened her mouth. But nothing could prepare him for her request. “I need for you to stay away from me for a while… just while I sort out my feelings… for you and for Roman. Every time I see you, we either end up fighting or getting carried away. It’s not healthy for either of us. Please John, will you do this for me? Please, until I come to talk to you, stay away?”
He nodded, his body numb as Marlena turned and fled from the room.
Maybe John would have been encouraged, had he seen the anguished tears that ran down her cheeks, as Marlena ran away from her feelings for John. They were too confusing for her to face. Was it love? Or was it just lust?
******************************
Why can’t I control myself around him? My god… all I wanted this morning was for John to throw me down and make love to me. I don’t feel that way about Roman… not like I used to. I remember a time when Roman and I couldn’t get enough of each other, when we were so desperately in love and lust that we would stay in bed for hours on end. I remember the absolute ecstasy that filled my soul when I thought that Roman had returned to me… the way I ran into John’s arms, my head and heart full of thoughts and memories of Roman. Now that I think about it, I guess John and I were doomed from the very start.
I wonder if giving John up would have been so hard, had I not had months of being held captive in an empty room to pine for him… as Roman of course. To imagine his lips assaulting mine… his fingertips on my body, just as they were this morning. How my body felt alive when he was massaging me… how he has the power to make me forget about all my problems… how I want to run to him every time I have a problem. Is that love? I don’t know. As Roman said last night… how can we share a real and lasting love, when his feelings for me were implanted into his brain, along with his memories of being Roman? How can I love him when I thought that he was Roman? When my love was based on that very fact? And how can I now find out my true feelings? How will I know who it is that my heart truly wants… without desire… and without guilt?
I guess that now it is up to fate. Destiny will make it right!
********************************
“I need your help… that’s why I am calling you…” Roman growled into his phone, desperate to make him understand. It had been against his better judgement to call Stefano DiMera in the first place, but things were getting out of his control. He needed help, and Stefano was a powerful man.
“I can’t help you, Roman. I can’t make Marlena love you…” Roman heard the other man’s chuckle on the other end of the phone.
“So… the good doctor fell in love with someone else?”
“Marlena DOES love me. She is just confused and pulling away.”
He was trying to convince himself as much as Stefano. He clutched the phone so firmly that he was afraid it might break.“You think so?” Stefano’s question was rhetorical, yet Roman felt himself growing angrier by the minute. “What do you expect me to do about Marlena’s feelings?”
“I want you to get rid of John for me!” Roman spoke somatter-of-factly. He heard the phone click… Stefano had hung up.
Roman slammed the phone into the wall, watching as it broke into pieces. How he hated Stefano… how he wanted him dead for all that he had put him through.
He remembered the first time that Stefano had approached him.
“Roman… I have a proposition for you.” Stefano stood oppressively close to Roman, the darkness of the pier their cover for the illicit meeting. Stefano was a wanted man, and Roman was the Salem Police Department’s finest lieutenant.
“Why would I be interested in helping you?” Roman questioned, his eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Because, I can give you everything that you ever wanted. Money, prestige, security… and freedom…” Stefano rubbed his hands together, his eyes gleaming evilly in the darkness.
“What do you mean? I already have my freedom…” Roman felt a tug at his heart, knowing deep within that Stefano knew.“You know as well as I do that it could be taken away at any moment. That if anyone found out that you stole those treasury bonds on your last assignment, and that you killed Orpheus’s wife to keep her quiet, you would be put away for a very long time…”
Roman gasped, knowing that Stefano had him backed into a corner. “You can’t prove that…” He spoke defensively, folding his arms across his chest.
“Maybe not… but do you want to have to prove that in court?”
Stefano left him with the question on his mind. And Roman knew that he only had one choice. To do what Stefano wanted.
Roman vowed that he would not lose Marlena, not now… after all he had been through to try to get back to her.
***************************
He had reached the bar. Without even wasting time on formalities, he grabbed the same blonde woman that he had picked up a couple of weeks ago and dragged her into the back room. He slammed her against the room and raised her skirt, sickened by her drunken stupor. Without any foreplay he slammed into her, needing release, imagining that she was Marlena.
When he had reached his peak, he pulled out of her, leaving her completely unsatisfied, yet not caring. He grabbed a drink and the bar and downed it in one moment. Now that that was done, he was going to go and find John. He needed to have it out with him once and for all.
He watched her carefully, planning his every move right down to the moment when he would approach her. He pulled the knife from his pocket and watched as it gleamed in the dim light from the streetlight across the way. He heard her footsteps as she approached, so slow and lifeless as she tried to force herself to go home to him… to the man she didn’t love… to Roman.
He waited until she was cloaked by darkness, her black coat adding to the camouflage. He glanced around quickly as his silent footsteps hurried to follow her, making sure that no one was there to witness his crime. She approached the alley way, glancing down it to make sure that there was no one lurking in the shadows, and he could hear her footsteps quicken as she hastened to pass it. He felt the bulge in his pants grow as he caught up with her… almost smelling her perfume as it wafted from her body.
Before she could react… before she could even issue a sound, he had seized her, one gloved hand covering her mouth, while the other restrained her struggling body. He dragged her down the alley way, the dinginess the perfect cover. He could feel the vibrations of her attempted screams and her hot breath against his hand… and he fought the urge to fast forward his plan, and take her… the ultimate goal completed. But he wouldn’t do that… his goal had been too well planned out… too meticulous. It seemed a shame to let her off so easily. He wanted to terrify her… so that he was in her thoughts at all times. He wanted to be on her mind when he finally had her.
He pulled her body up against his for a moment, grinding his erection into her firm bottom, letting her feel how turned on he was. Orpheus guaranteed that Marlena would dream about his dick night and day after tonight was over… wondering when she would feel it pressed inside her, driving her beyond the boundaries of the human pain threshold. He heard and felt her gasp as she felt it, and her hot tears seeped over his black leather glove… shining in what little moonlight there was. He leaned over her shoulder, whispering into her ear, as his restraining hand reached to caress her collarbone. “One day Marlena… you will be begging me to put it inside you… one day you will come to me. This is going to haunt you for years to come…”
Her eyes widened as she realised who it was. She was scared… so very scared. All she wanted to do was scream for help. But it was Orpheus… his plans were always well-laid. There would be nobody around to help her. She squeezed her eyes shut and saw John in her head. She called to him in her subconscious… hoping that he would hear her.
***********************
“Roman, I am not in the mood for this tonight.” John was frustrated, still flustered from his encounter with Marlena only this morning.
“I don’t CARE what you are in the mood for John… You have had this coming for weeks.” John stood in the doorway, blocking the entrance so that Roman couldn’t come in. As usual he had been drinking, although tonight he seemed quite lucid. “What do you want Roman?” He asked, his tone weary.
“I want to talk to you about what you have been doing with my WIFE…” John opened his eyes wide in surprise, and he stepped aside to let Roman into his room. They couldn’t very well have this conversation in the hallway. He closed his eyes, willing himself to stay calm as Roman purposely shoved him on the way past.
“What about Marlena?” John sat on the couch, determined to be civilised, while Roman paced angrily across the room. This angered Roman even more… he had not expected to be greeted with such calmness and he didn’t respond well to civility. Roman responded to anger and all he wanted was to throw John into the wall, He knew that if he threw the first punch, John would go to Marlena and tell her… and then he would lose her. He formulated a plan in his mind, an evil grin masking his face. This way he would kill two birds with one stone. He would find out how deep John’s feelings for Marlena were, and he would goad him into throwing the first punch.
“Did you enjoy it?” He asked cruelly.
“Enjoy what?” John sighed, his impatience growing as Roman spoke cryptically. He wished that he would just get it over with.
“Fucking her… did you enjoy taking advantage of someone else’s wife?” Roman spat the words, not able to help himself from showing his anger towards his adversary.
“Did Doc tell you that?” John asked, pretending to be unruffled by the remarks.
“I told you not to call her Doc, you fucking prick! And it doesn’t matter how I know… I just do. I just want to know what it is about you that has her drooling.”
“Marlena is an adult Roman. She doesn’t need someone like you making her decisions for her.” John was mad now… his voice was strained as he tried to control his temper.
“Oh so you are saying that she came to you willingly? That she willingly cheated on her husband… That she is a SLUT?” John heard the word and saw red. Nobody spoke about Marlena that way. He jumped up from the couch and grabbed Roman by both shoulders, shoving him as forcefully as he could into the back wall. “Nobody talks about Marlena that way…” he hissed through clenched teeth.
********************************
Orpheus turned Marlena in his arms so that she was facing him, her face forcibly pressed suffocatingly close to his. He could see her fighting the fear that wracked her being… and that made him even more determined to go through with his plans for her. It made him obsess about her even more… the fighting spirit in her still existed. But she couldn’t fool him… Orpheus could see the fear seeping out through her dilated brown eyes.
He pushed her frail body against the brick wall, brutally… using all the strength in him. He heard her cry out in pain and her hand flew to her abdomen, realising too late that she had shown him her weakness. Orpheus’s eyes travelled downwards to the tight top that showed beneath her jacket. He knew what she was hiding… and he knew that he could make the pain so much worse for her. With one movement, Orpheus placed his hand over her bruised area, and using his fingers, he dug them in deep to her skin. He heard her pained cries and knew that it still hurt her… just like it had the last time.
“Bastard…” She could only breathe the words, her strength ebbing as the pain spread. She felt as though she would faint from the sensation. She could smell his foul breath on her face, mixing with the stench of the rank alley way, and she turned her face from him, bending as she vomited onto the pavement. She looked up to see Orpheus smiling, wiping her mouth on the back of her hands. “What do you want?” As much as Marlena didn’t want to know, she needed to get out of there. She felt an incredible desire to find John and have him make it all better.
“Anxious to get rid of me already?” Orpheus chuckled when he saw the look of absolute, irrepressible hatred in her eyes. “What do you think?” She spat back.
“Well… I just wanted to give you a message…” Orpheus stepped back, ceasing contact with her. Yet she didn’t make a move to get away… just like he knew she wouldn’t. He dove into the pocket of his coat, withdrawing the pair of red lacy underwear that he had stolen from her. He held it up and knew when he saw her look of recognition that she knew they were hers. He held them up to his nose and took a deep breath, savouring the smell of her, his eyes gleaming as he stared into hers. He let her see the knife as he turned it slowly in his hand, allowing the moonlight to capture it brought the knife to the very crotch of the panties, running it down them gently before ripping them to shreds. She couldn’t possibly mistake his meaning. Coming close to her one last time, Orpheus brought his fist to her stomach, the force causing her to almost lose her balance.
He was gone, before she even opened her eyes, which were now blurred, her head spinning, and her body aching. She stumbled out of the alley… needing to find him… needing to find John. He would know what to do.
******************************
“Dammit Roman. Take it back. How dare you say that about Marlena,” John had his hands around Roman’s throat in a vice-like grip, his face red from rage. He could not calm down… he wanted to squeeze the life out of Roman’s pathetic body.Roman chuckled, the irony of the scene sinking in. This was exactly how he had held Orpheus in their confrontation only a week ago. He laughed quietly, hoping that it would throw John in the same way that it had him. But John only released a little bit. “Any woman who sleeps with two men at a time is a whore. I can’t believe that you even still want her.” He couldn’t help himself… wanting to goad John as much as he could… wanting to entice him into a fight.
“I’m going to kill you…” John roared, and he slammed Roman into the wall with all of his strength, watching as his head bashed against the hardness.
“I knew that you had your eye on her. I wanted to see how far you would go to defend her. She’s MINE!” With a strength that he didn’t know that he possessed, Roman threw John’s hands off him and ran at him, tucking his head in so that he would getJohn’s shoulder. He grabbed him around the waist in a tackle, sending them both sprawling onto the floor.
When he had him pinned, he straddled him, throwing punches with all of his might. He watched as almost in slow motion, sprays of blood flew from John’s face as John tried to fight back. But from his position underneath Roman, he was at a disadvantage. John thought of Marlena… and all of his rage about Roman having won her… what he had said about her… and he found a new strength, rolling them over so that he was on top. He thumped Roman as hard as he could in the jaw, and knew that he had succeeded in his plan to cause him as much pain as possible, when Roman groaned.
Roman felt the leg of the table beside him as he tried to stay conscious. He reached up and grabbed a photo frame, not even noticing that it was of Marlena. He heaved it at John, who copped it square in the face. Then they were standing again, wrestling with one another for control, the fists flying.
They didn’t even notice Marlena as she entered, her body heaving with pain, doubled over as she fought to remain standing. John finally noticed her, and he ceased the struggle, too concerned about her to realise what Roman would do next. He felt himself flying through the air as Roman ran at him, slamming him into the window, the glass splintering and shattering, as shards rained down onto them. John’s eyes remained focussed on Marlena the entire time, her face becoming whiter as she saw the fight. He
noticed her cower as the window broke, and fresh tears ran down her face.
“Stop it…” Her anguished scream filled the room, and Roman swung around to face his wife. “Just stop it.” Her sobs were heart wrenching, and both men moved towards her. “I am not some prize to be won. I hate what this has done to all of us. Just kill each other for all I care,” Her body still in pain, Marlena found what little will-power that she had left, and turned and fled, with a speed hardly even possible for someone in her condition. But Marlena had finally had enough.
John knew that he had to get to her. He knew that she was in trouble… and that if anything happened to her because of this, he would never forgive himself for starting the fight with Roman. It didn’t even cross his mind that she had come to his apartment to find him… that she wanted to see him in her time of trial. He could still see her ghostly face in his mind, the pain across her features. She was hurt.
John ran after her as fast as his legs would carry him. She was ahead of him and she was running, her loud cries left in her wake. “Marlena… Marlena please stop?” She didn’t turn around.
Then they were outside and Marlena ran out onto the road. John looked… the moment agonisingly slow, and breathed a sigh of relief when he could see no cars nearby. He called her name again and she turned around. She looked at him… a look of agony and disappointment that broke his heart. Then suddenly she collapsed onto the road, her legs merely buckling underneath her. John rushed forward, screaming her name as he saw the motorbike rev up only a few metres away. In the darkness she couldn’t be seen…her limp form so lifeless in the centre of the road. John ran as fast as he could, the panic rising. But he was too late… the bike hit her, just as he reached her. Marlena was thrown forwards, her body hitting the asphalt again with a thud, as John fell from the force of the slowed bike.
He jumped up and ran to her, cradling her form in his arms, the tears and the blood flowing. “Oh god Marlena… I love you… oh god, don’t leave me… please don’t leave me…” His sobs drowned out the sound of everything around… the shaken motorbike rider, as he approached… the passing onlookers who rushed to see… the concerned woman who tried to make John let her go. Nothing penetrated his senses… he clutched her in his arms, hoping that he could hold onto her precious life for just a few more moments. To see her breathe… to look at her beautiful face for as long as he could… to feel the love that rushed from his heart to warm her cold body. Now nothing was certain. The sounds of sirens filled the air, rushing to get there in time to save her… a woman who had been robbed of years of her life… and now was on the brink of losing it all over again.
Today was the first day since I woke up from my coma that I actually wished to die. His obsession with me has been growing by the day… I can see it shining out through his eyes. I have seen so many patients over the years with these obsessions, but somehow it seems so much more frightening when I am the object of these obsessions. And Orpheus is more disturbed than anyone I have ever seen. The knowledge that I can’t get away has been playing on my mind… and I just know that one day he will snap and take what he wants from me. Somehow I know that he has huge plans for me… meticulously calculated so that nothing will go wrong.
I can feel the shooting pain through my abdomen where he hit me with the butt of his gun… over the already blackened area where he assaulted me only days ago. He spends more time in here now…sometimes he even stays at night when I am sleeping. Although these days I rarely sleep… when I do, it is only when he is safely out of this room and I know that for now I am safe.
I saw the knife on my plate and I wanted to just end the struggle, to cut myself so that I would never regain consciousness. But then I dreamed of Roman… my one and only true love. He was here in my room, guiding me, telling me not to give up. He rescued me… And I knew that I could survive this hell hole a little while longer.
****************************
John pushed the nurse away from him. She was trying to get a good look at his bloodied face and the wounds that covered his body, both from the fight with Roman and the road accident. But John didn’t even feel the pain… his body and his mind was numb. All he could think about was Marlena. “Please… please, can you find out where she is… can you please find out how Marlena Evans is doing?” He spoke in a strained voice, his hands clutching desperately at the dark blue shirt that the nurse wore. She looked down at him, her kind eyes full of compassion. “I will see what I can find out. But I really think that you should let me take a look at those cuts.” She ran her gloved hands over his face once again, the sudden pain causing John to wince. “After you have found out how my wife is…” He looked up in shock, realising what he had just said. How he had referred to Marlena as his wife so naturally… as though he had never stopped. “I mean… ummm… please just find her…”
John watched as the nurse walked off, pausing once or twice to turn back around, looking in concern at him. He tried to sit, but found himself unable to, instead returning to pacing up and down the hallways, the sterile smell of the hospital making him sick to his stomach.
He felt his heart constrict in pain as he remembered her helpless body lying there on the road… the ambulance officers in the dark, pumping her with drugs… giving her oxygen which she was no longer able to get for herself. And then the haunting sight of her on a spinal board… her eyes closed, as she was carted into the ambulance.
“Do you want to travel with her?” The ambulance officer asked him, her gentle voice kind and sympathetic. Just as John was about to nod his head in affirmation, Roman stepped up, his face bloodied, his eyes gleaming in the darkness. “I am her husband. I will be travelling with her.”
John knew that he didn’t have a right to be angry with Roman for going with Marlena to the hospital. If he was her husband there is no way he would let anyone else be with her… he would have been there in a heart beat. And Roman was also bitter about the fight… they had caused this accident. And if Marlena didn’t make it, John knew that he would never be able to forgive himself. After all, it had been him who had thrown the first punch, even though John was sure that Roman had been goading him all along.
While he waited for news, John made a decision. He would wait to see if Marlena was okay, and then he would find out if she loved him once and for all. After that… he knew what he had to do. Either way, John had a plan.
*******************************
Roman watched John from the hallway, seeing how distraught he seemed over Marlena’s accident. He himself was shaken up… he didn’t want to lose her, not now when he finally had her back. He glowered as he thought about John and Marlena… and he blamed John for the accident. He had followed her out there… it was his voice that made her turn around… and he had failed to reach her in time. Roman wished that he had made it… that it had been John lying in surgery right now… that John was the one on the brink of death.
“Marlena, I am here baby… don’t leave me… please, you have too much to live for.” Roman held her hand in the back of the ambulance, finally noticing how pale and sick she looked. He wiped some of the blood from her face as the ambulance officer worked around him to keep her alive. The ride seemed so long, the sirens blaring as the vehicle sped around corner after corner. Somewhere towards the end of the trip, he had heard her whisper, her lips parting ever so slightly, her eyes fluttering but not opening. And he cringed when he heard his name. “John…”
He was on her mind as she lay at death’s door.
At least she had been unconscious when she had said it… it didn’t necessarily mean that Marlena was going to choose to spend the rest of her life with John. Roman had been planting thoughts in her head about how John’s feelings for her were implanted, were not real… and so far she had fallen for it. So far Marlena had continued to deny her feelings for John… and John was so downright noble that he respected that and left her alone to make her own decisions. Roman scoffed at the thought of John’s selflessness… the way he seemed to only care about Marlena… not even about his own health or happiness. And he knew that John was John’s own worst enemy. Now he just had to find a way to run him out of their lives forever. Then he could have Marlena, and Marlena would forget that John ever existed.
**********************************
“Mr Brady…?” The doctor approached John.
“Um… no I am…” John was cut off by Roman, who strode out from the hallway, not willing to let John hear the news about Marlena alone. “I’m Roman Brady…” He stated matter-of-factly, pushing in front of John. “Please, just tell me how she is? How is my wife?” John cringed as Roman emphasised the word wife… as if a cruel reminder that she belonged to him.
“I’m afraid that right now it is touch and go with Dr Evans. She suffered severe injuries from the force of the bike hitting her.
Four broken ribs… which punctured a lung. That was why she was having difficulty breathing.” The doctor was sympathetic, and John cut him off, moving into his line of view. “Is she going to be all right?” he asked in desperation, his eyes pleading with the doctor to tell him what she wanted to hear. “She is in recovery at the moment… we patched her lung as best we could and her ribs will eventually heal themselves. There is nothing more that we can do about that.” He paused as if not sure whether to continue. But both John and Roman sensed his hesitation. “What is it that you aren’t telling us?” Roman’s concern for Marlena over-rode his hatred for John, and even John was surprised when he used the term ‘us’ in reference to the two of them. He was grateful and continued to look at the doctor, hoping that at least his face would give something away. “There is a much more serious issue here than what happened tonight when Dr Evans was hit by the car.”
John felt his face go pale. The bruises… He tried to tell himself that he had tried to help her and that it was out of his control, but he knew that if only he had asked Marlena to get them checked out the first time that he saw them, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. “The bruises…” He cut the doctor off before he had a chance to explain.
“Bruises… what bruises?” Roman looked between John and the doctor, completely clueless as to what they were talking about.
John looked up in surprise, unable to hide his contempt when he realised that Roman hadn’t even noticed them. “The bruises that are all over Marlena’s body. The bruises that have been getting worse. How can you not have noticed them? How can you be so wrapped up in winning her that you don’t pay attention to her?” John was angry and although he knew that this was not the place or time to get into yet another fight with Roman, he just couldn’t help it.
“Well maybe if you hadn’t slept with my wife…” Roman turned to John, his scowl appearing, his fists clenched. He stepped towards John threateningly.
“Look… this is hardly the time or place to be arguing…” The doctor brought their attention back to the horrendous situation. “Yes, the bruises. It appears that they have been there for quite a while… we assume that the area has not received only one blow. We think that Marlena has been assaulted persistently in the same area. Some parts are darker than others. Tonight I think that something happened… either the force of the bike… or the same type of assault as the previous times… that is unclear. But the internal bleeding was critical. It seems that Dr Evans has had a slow bleed into her abdomen for several weeks and it is amazing that she lasted this long.” John and Roman stood waiting for more, their mouths agape as they listened to the doctor. Marlena had been sick since the day she came home, yet neither of them had realised how serious it was. “Oh god… is she going to be okay?” John stammered, trying to support himself as he felt himself growing weaker.
“We won’t know for a while. We managed to stop the bleeding for now… but that does not mean that it won’t resurface. The area that was affected is very large… and a new bleed could start at any time. We will be keeping her in intensive care until we know that she is okay. In the meantime gentlemen, I suggest that you pray that she is strong enough to pull through this.”
John collapsed onto the nearest chair, heaving slightly as he tried to digest what the doctor had said. She was still in a critical condition, but at least she was alive. John looked up at the ceiling and began to speak to God.
John paused at the doorway to Marlena’s hospital room. He leaned against the door frame, trying to gather the strength that he would need to get through the next few days. She was hooked up to so many machines, her body was so pale… so helpless as she lay there struggling to breathe. Roman sat beside her, holding her
hand, the picture of a devoted husband. John could see that he really did love her.
He came into the room, and Roman looked up. “Get out…” He spat, not moving from where he sat beside her. “I don’t want you here.”
“Roman… I have as much right as you do to care about her. I’m not going anywhere.” John pulled a chair up on the other side and took her free hand, squeezing it desperately, willing her to awaken. “Come on Doc… open those beautiful eyes.” Tears filled his eyes as he bent his head in grief. He didn’t even notice the nurse come in and survey the scene.
“Okay…” Both men turned around at the sound of her insistent voice. “I need to check you both out. I want to treat those cuts and bruises.” Roman stood, and followed her out of the room, his pain almost too much for him to bear. But John remained there beside her, intent on keeping his bedside vigil until he knew that she was going to be okay… his own pain forgotten… his own physical pain paling in comparison to the pain within his heart.
He breathed a sigh of relief as Roman left the room, and he moved his chair closer to her, taking both of her hands in his. He placed a tender kiss on each hand, allowing his lips to linger there as long as he dared. Then he leaned down and placed his head on the pillow beside her, whispering into her ear in strangled tones. “Doc… you just have to get through this baby. I know that you can do it… you are the strongest person I know…” He felt the tears streak down his face and smear the dried blood down his cheeks. He wiped his face on his shirt… not wanting to infect her beautiful skin with his blood. Then he repositioned himself beside her, and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. He laced his fingers through her hair and pulled her face towards him, until their cheeks rested against one another. She was so cold… and for a moment John was concerned. He pulled the covers up around her shoulders so that she would remain warm.
“God Doc… why did this have to happen to you? Why couldn’t it have been me in front of that car? Why couldn’t I help you when I noticed the bruises?” John gathered her entire body to him, as he broke down into sobs, his blame totally unfounded. “If you get better I will do anything… I will even watch you with Roman if that is what you want. If you don’t want me, I will never burden you with my love ever again.” Marlena’s body was limp in his arms, and John’s heart both broke and soared at the feeling of having her in his embrace. “I love you baby… oh god… there will never be anyone that I will love as much as I love you.”
“What is going on in here?” Roman was foaming at the mouth when he saw and heard John’s confessions of love for his wife. He stormed in, and watched as John released her, his lips curled in satisfaction. John’s reaction had been immediate, like suddenly her touch had burned him. Roman took his place at her bedside, and watch in mistrust as John adjusted the bedclothes around Marlena’s body. Then still wrapped up in his grief, he took Marlena’s hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing the underside of her wrist for long moments, his tears covering her soft skin. “I need you…” He whispered the words inaudibly into her skin, before dropping her hand and cradling his own head in his hands.
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“No… no… stop it…” She struggled the words out through gasps of laughter, her body writhing as she tried to escape his torturous attacks. “Roman… stop… I’m… going… to… die…”
“A little laughter never hurt anyone…” John stopped his assaults for just a moment to allow her to catch her breath, and he stared down at her. His heart jumped in his chest when he saw her flushed and panting, her hazel eyes gazing up at him in vivacity. Her brilliant white teeth shone through her gorgeous smile, her blonde hair was so messed up from her struggle against the bed. She wore only a short blue satin negligee, the straps falling off her perfectly sculpted shoulders, and its skirt rode up high almost to her firm, rounded bottom. He stared at her lips as her head rested against the pillow, all thoughts of tickling her now dissolved. His eyes darkened with lustful desire as they roamed her body… finally coming to rest on her own hooded gaze… her eyes too travelling the length of his body.
“You delight in torturing me, don’t you Roman?” Marlena spoke playfully, her eyes shining. She licked her lips enticingly. “I like watching you more…” His voice was husky, his tone suggestive, as he raised his eyebrow mischievously.
“Is that right?” She eyed him as his body moved closer to hers, prowling the space between them. One knee lay on either side of her body as he crawled up the bed, towards her. “Uh huh…” He brushed his lips against her eyelid as her eyes fluttered closed. “Your big, beautiful eyes… the way I can read your soul from just looking into them.” He ran a hand down her face and traced her lips with his index finger. “Your luscious lips… the way they can drive me crazy just by looking at them…”
“Roman…” Marlena gasped, kissing his fingertip as it passed her lips. She closed her eyes when he brushed her neck with his lips. “Your neck… the delicious soft skin… And your legs… I want them wrapped around me… right now…” John took a hold of the negligee and pulled it up over her body, Marlena offering no resistance. Then he leaned in and met her lips for a passionate kiss.
Marlena could hear them… trapped in a state of unconsciousness, between life and death. She heard every word that John said… she remembered her life at its very happiest. She remembered the bliss that she had felt during those little moments with John… as Roman. But she couldn’t respond. She felt so light… as if she could just float out of her body. And she could almost see Roman and John hunched over her dying body… the grief so powerful… yet the battle for her heart still in full swing.
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“Dammit John… I want you out of here. Marlena is my wife and you have no right to be here.” Roman stood, his face full of rage. He couldn’t stand to hear his confessions of love any longer… he couldn’t watch the way he clutched her hand as if he would never let it go. He needed to get rid of John before Marlena woke up… he couldn’t take the risk that she would choose him.
“No… I am not going anywhere…”
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Orpheus couldn’t stand the suspense any longer. He was becoming unravelled, his mind and body in turmoil… Marlena was in hospital; on the brink of death… his plan was ruined. Orpheus clutched his knife in his hand and dragged it along the skin… letting the pain of the jagged cut soothe his soul. He took what remained of Marlena’s red panties and pressed them to the cut, now oozing blood.
She had to be okay… she had to be! He couldn’t even bear the thought of not being able to carry through with his plan for her mind and body.
“I refuse to leave, Roman. I LOVE her and I am not going anywhere until I know that she is okay.” John stood beside the bed, his heart heavy, his voice raised. Roman was trying to force him to leave the side of the woman he loved.
“She’s not yours to love. This time should be for family… and you are NOT a part of this family.” Roman put his hand on John’s shoulder, in an attempt to physically force him out of the room. But John shrugged him off violently.
“NO… I will die before I leave this room. I promised her that I would be there for her… and I am going to keep that promise.” Roman knew that for now he had been defeated. John was determined to stay and he knew that John would kill anyone who tried to stop him from leaving.
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Marlena was aware of the commotion in her room even from her unconscious state. She dreamed that she was there in the room with them…
“I told you that I was not some prize to be won. What is it with men? Why do you always have to try to prove yourselves by trying to beat each other to pulp?”
“Marlena, I love you. You are my wife… and he is trying to take you away from me…” Roman’s eyes filled Marlena with fear as they darkened with unhealthy possessiveness. “I would do anything to keep you… you hear me? ANYTHING!”
“Marlena… I know that I am not legally married to you, but in my heart I always will be. Choose me… I will always strive to make you happy…” She could see his blue eyes piercing into her, their honesty so refreshing. She wanted to go to him. Until the fight started again… the punches flying, the fresh blood oozing from new wounds.
“I will fight you for her. Once you are dead, she will be mine…”“No… she will be mine. I will never let you have her.”
“Why don’t you both just kill each other? Then I won’t have to choose.”
Marlena knew that it would be easier for all concerned if she no longer lived. Maybe then John and Roman, the two men that she loved most in the world, would be able to find some common ground. Tears filtered onto her cheeks as she prepared to leave them.
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The sound of the alarm ringing caused both John and Roman to jump. Both of them still remained by her bedside, willing her to pull through. John looked around in panic, at the heart monitor which had flat lined, the sudden beeping causing his heart to cry out in despair. Paying no attention to the sudden commotion around him, he grabbed Marlena’s limp hand and squeezed as tightly as he could, trying desperately to transfer his strength to her. “Doc… please… fight…” he sobbed, as Roman looked on, wondering how John could feel so much. His heart had stopped feeling so long ago, that he no longer knew what true love was. Roman followed the nurse out of the room, his mind numb, whispering words of encouragement to Marlena, willing her to pull through. He forgot entirely about John as he watched as the nurses prepared themselves to try to save her.
John sobbed as two nurses forcibly pulled him away from Marlena’s body. In his heart he knew that he had to go so that they could save her, yet he didn’t want her to have to be without him. He wanted to be there with her for as long as he could… for as long as she would let him. Finally he relented, the panic all around him filling his entire body with dread.
They both watched through the window, linked together by their pain, their faces strained in concentration and misery. John winced as they charged the defibrillator and shocked Marlena, her fragile body jerking upwards as the full effect of the shock set in. He could feel the tears running down his face as he pressed his forehead against the cool glass pane, using it to steady his trembling body. His knuckles had turned white from the force of his clenched fists. John didn’t even know how he would be able to go on without Marlena in his life. All the sounds of the commotion in her confined hospital room faded out as he watched them continue to work on her. The nurse sat atop her chest, giving compressions between shocks. Other nurses hurriedly placed more and more drugs into her drip. Everyone was working tirelessly to save her. John closed his eyes for a moment to block out the heart-breaking scene. In his mind he could see her at her most beautiful… her arms outstretched, her adoring smile, her full red lips, as she whispered his name… John… she was waiting for him. He let himself smile just briefly as he pictured her… it was the way he would always remember her if she didn’t make it… it was the way he had always seen her. John opened his eyes, and was brought back to reality by the harsh image of Marlena on the brink of death.
He turned slightly and noticed that Roman’s face had become a greyish colour… his mouth moving with unspoken words to Marlena. John was filled with a profound sense of sympathy for the man who was about to lose his wife again. At this very moment, John had no more doubts that Roman loved Marlena… that he would treat her with all of the love that he himself would if he had been given the chance. He knew that Roman was mixed up and had some issues, but his love for Marlena was obviously strong, and all of his aggressive actions had so far been in defence of his relationship with her. There was no crime in that. He moved over to where Roman stood, and he placed his hand on his shoulder, in a gesture of comfort and goodwill. “Doc would want us to try to get along…” He spoke the words more to himself than to Roman. After a moment, he removed his hand and continued to wait and watch as Marlena’s life hung in the balance.
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“Doctor, how is she?” John rushed to the doctors side as soon as he exited the room. Roman stood beside him. The worry etched on both of their faces was apparent.
“We managed to stabilise her.” He spoke with a grave tone, his face screwed up in concentration. “But I am afraid that it doesn’t look good. Dr Evans took much longer than we would expect to be revived. It is almost as if she has lost the will to live.”
”What does that mean?” Both men’s eyes opened wider as they listened to the doctor’s concerns. “It means that Marlena does not want to be here. There is something that she just can’t bear the thought of facing here. I can only assume that whoever inflicted those bruises on her, has left her traumatised.
Gentlemen, you will have to find a way to give her back her will to live. Mr Brady… there is something that I would like to talk to you about. Would you come to my office?” Roman followed the doctor as John gazed back at Marlena’s hospital room, the despair engulfing him.
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“What is it Doctor?” Roman asked, his face turned downwards into a frown, the worry etched across his forehead. “What aren’t you telling me?”
The doctor closed the door to his office after ushering Roman inside. His face was serious and he motioned for him to sit down. Roman sat and leaned over the desk, his mood becoming more and more angered by the minute. He almost yelled as the doctor continued to simply regard him with a look of concern. “TELL me what is wrong with MY WIFE…” He burst out.
“Mr Brady…” The doctor took a deep breath. “I am afraid that I have a very serious matter to discuss with you. I understand that Dr Evans has only recently returned to Salem after a three year absence, is that right?”
Roman nodded, his face red, as he wondered what that had to do with anything.
“I am afraid that I am required by law to report your wife’s injuries to the police. They are not consistent with the road accident. She must have received them some other way… most probably they were inflicted by someone who is very strong. Do you know anything about that?”
Roman tried to control his anger, the battle between his anger and his common-sense continuing within him. He knew that he had to keep his cool… he couldn’t show his anger to this doctor, or he might suspect that Roman had inflicted the wounds upon Marlena. “Do you think that I could do something like that to my wife? Do you know who I am? I am Commander Roman Brady of the Salem Police.” He wanted to remind the doctor of that little fact.
“I know who you are Mr Brady. Nevertheless the question had to be asked. Do you know of anyone else who might do something like this to your wife?”
Suddenly a brilliant thought struck Roman. He had finally found the perfect way to get John Black out of his and Marlena’s lives forever. He smiled a sly smile, his lips turning upwards crookedly as he bent over the desk, so that he could whisper. “I am afraid…” He pretended to grieve. “…that it was John Black… He hasn’t left Marlena alone since she arrived in Salem. I think that he is jealous of our relationship… that would give him perfect motive to try to hurt her. God I am going to KILL THE BASTARD for doing this…” Roman stood, his voice raised as he ranted. He strode out of the office with a satisfied smile on his face. If that didn’t convince the doctor, he didn’t know what would.
The light swirled around in her dreams… almost beckoning her to focus on its brilliance. She could still hear and see the commotion around her earthly body… the way the nurses and doctors had worked to save her. She could hear the voices of the two men that she loved willing her to live. And she smiled as she remembered the way John had placed his hand on Roman’s shoulder. She had been right… through the loss of her life… John and Roman would eventually find peace with themselves, and with each other.
Marlena focussed on the light and found herself floating into it… a sense of absolute calm and serenity overtaking her fraught senses. She could see figures waiting on the other side for her, and she welcomed an eternity where circumstance could not cause so much pain. She whispered goodbye to John… blowing him a kiss as she saw him take his place beside her body in the hospital room. Then she spoke her goodbyes to Roman.
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“Doc…” John took Marlena’s limp hand in both of his. He squeezed it as hard as he could, willing her to capture his strength. He cupped her hand on his cheek, drawing his attention to the stubble that had grown there in the past 48 hours. He kissed the palm of her hand, letting his lips remain there for as long as he dared. His voice cracked as he spoke to her again. He needed to somehow bring her back from the brink of death… he needed to find a way to make her live.
“I need you so much, Doc… I need to see your beautiful smile every day,.. I need to hear your laugh… I need you to be here and breathing. I know that I don’t deserve you… and that you don’t even love me… and I don’t care.” John felt his tears drip down and wet her cold hand, and he kissed it again. “I just need you to live… I will let you be with Roman… I will give you up. But please, please fight… fight to live…” He raised his voice and he grasped her by both the shoulders, shaking her slightly, his emotional appeals so heart-breaking to the onlooker. “You told me once that you could look after yourself… that you didn’t need anyone to protect you… and I always knew that you were SO strong. But Doc, we both know that sometimes everyone needs someone to comfort and protect them. YOU do that for me… just having you in my life, on whatever terms that you are offering… is all the comfort that I need. I am here for you now! I want you to draw your strength from me… I want you to fight… to fight and LIVE… Please Doc… do it for me…” John’s sobs could be heard down the corridor of the hospital. He sat cradling her body in his arms and so overcome with his emotion, John placed his lips to Marlena’s pale forehead. He followed the intimate gesture by smothering every ounce of her exposed skin with his butterfly kisses, his grief finally at breaking point, his heart constricting as he realised that he may lose the love of his life forever.
John felt the wetness on her cheeks and he realised that his tears were covering her. With his forehead pressed against hers, he wiped the wetness away with trembling hands. He looked up when he realised that it wasn’t his tears that he was wiping away. From her comatose state, Marlena was crying, silent tears escaping from her eyes. John kissed each of her eyelids. “That’s it honey… fight… come back to me…”
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Roman smirked as he watched John with Marlena. Savour the moment, buddy, he thought cruelly to himself. Because after I am done with you… you will never be seeing her again. He pointed at John, indicating to the police that he was the one they had come for. “John Black…” The policeman spoke with a stern tone and John turned around, his eyes bloodshot, his voice hoarse, his face haggard. He looked defeated as he viewed the cops with disregard. “Mr Black… I need you to come with me…” John glanced at Marlena in panic, unable to fathom the thought of leaving her side for even a moment. He hesitated, weighing up his options. “Mr Black…” The policeman demanded, coming closer to stand beside John, placing a firm hand on his arm. John gazed at Marlena and placed a kiss on the palm of her hand, before replacing it over her stomach gently. “I’ll be back…” The words were hardly audible… meant for Marlena’s ears only. Nobody else heard the abundance of love and promise that those words held. It was his own private sanctuary… one that belonged to only him and Marlena.
“I’m Constable Jones. I need you to come down to the station for questioning.” The policeman spoke, as soon as they were out of the room. “Questioning for what?” John was surprised, but he hardly even registered what was happening. His head was still in the room with Marlena. He turned to look through the window and saw Roman lying in bed beside her. He felt the jealousy overcome him and he wanted to go and hurl Roman from the room. But he knew that he had no right to feel that way. His eyes were glazed as he watched the scene, hardly paying attention to what the Constable was saying. He was jolted back into reality when he heard Marlena’s name. “… For the assault of Marlena Evans Brady…” He gasped and levelled his gaze on Constable Jones.
“You have GOT to be kidding me?” His tone was incredulous.
“I assure you Mr Black that this is a very serious matter. We have reason to believe that you have been assaulting Mrs Brady… and we are going to have to insist on questioning you down at the station.”
“Me… assaulting her… where did you get an idea like that?” John glanced helplessly into Marlena’s room, searching for answers. “It was Brady wasn’t it?” John asked, his eyes widening. The lengths that Roman had gone to in order to keep him and Marlena away from each other astounded John.
“I’m sorry but I can’t disclose that information. Now, are you going to cooperate or am I going to have to arrest you?”
John ran a hand through his black hair and rubbed his eyes, the exhaustion of the past couple of days catching up with him. “Okay… I will talk to you… but please can we do it in the hospital? I can’t leave her… I can’t bear the thought of not being here if she wakes up… or if…” John’s voice broke and fresh tears filled his eyes. He swiped them away angrily, infuriated by his weakness. “If… god forbid… something happens… I HAVE to be here… that’s all I am asking. Please, can we do it here?”
Constable Jones nodded, his compassion for the broken man evident. Almost instantly he had made up his mind that John Black had not assaulted Marlena Evans. Even in the way he spoke, the way he acted, his love and devotion to her shone through.
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Roman lay beside her, mostly as a way to taunt John. Even though John was pretty much done for now that he was being accused of abusing Marlena, he wanted to rub salt into the wounds. He needed to cause John as much pain as he possibly could… for the mere reality that he loved Roman’s wife and that Roman’s wife had deep feelings for John.
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I hate that I sit here all day and think… alone with my thoughts… and with Orpheus staring at me… I feel so lonely. I feel so confused. If I didn’t have Roman’s face in my head… his voice… and my fantasies of being with him, then I don’t know if I could have survived thus far. I found myself thinking how strange it is that I no longer even consider the fact that when I met Roman he was a different person… all I can see now is MY Roman… the Roman that was returned to me… the Roman that makes me happier than I could ever have believed possible.
I found myself considering Roman as he was before. I guess when you are alone with your thoughts, memories just seem to pop up… thoughts of things that no longer matter. I sometimes even catch myself thinking about Roman as having been two people… the first Roman… and the second Roman. But he is one person. He has changed so much, both in mind and body… but I guess I never doubted for one moment that he is Roman Brady. My love for him proves that.
Before he ‘died’, although the memory is hazy… I loved him, with an undying devotion. I remember the first day that I met him… and I remember his curly hair. I loved his curly hair. He had a smile that made me go weak at the knees. I was so young then. But I guess, although he loved me then, there was something missing. I think it was the complete and unwavering devotion that he has now. The way he would break my heart every time he went on a stakeout… the way he worked so hard and seemed to spend such a brief amount of time with his family. The way he disappeared for weeks on end without telling me where he was going. That was when I found out that I was pregnant with the twins.
I guess that I didn’t realise that anything could be better… our sex life then satisfied me… it satisfied both of us. But now with My Roman there is such an overpowering intensity to it… like we can’t get enough of each other. And his feelings then seem so shallow compared to how they are now… in those days Roman would never have left the ISA to spend more time with me… I remember talking about it with him time and time again, crying and pleading with him to give it up. He loved me… so much… but he didn’t worship me as he does now. I never asked to be worshipped but when it happened, my feelings soared… they increased my love for him so much. Every day when I would wake up beside MY new Roman my heart would constrict. I remember before he ‘died’, the way we would lie together in bed. We would snuggle for a while after making love but by the morning, our contact had been broken. After he came back, transformed, the way we lay together was so sensual… my naked back pressed against his chest… his arms encircling my body so tightly. Sometimes his leg would be wrapped around me. Or else, we would be facing one another, my head against his neck and shoulder, our hands laced together, our legs intertwined… like we were one being.
I find myself lusting over my Roman… his body is so desirable. I love everything about the way he looks, his thick black hair, his intense blue eyes… which can become so full of love when he looks at me… but so full of danger when anybody threatens me. I feel so safe when I am with him… like nothing could ever hurt me. I love his body… the strong muscular torso… those beautiful arms that could crush me with their strength… the tattoo on his shoulder which has become an integral part of who he is. I love the way he can read me… he knows all of my innermost thoughts, sometimes even before I do. His heart is so big and I can just hear it’s strong beat even from my prison. I love his compassion and his total and utter unquestioning trust and devotion… the way he tries to please me in every way… to romance me and to love me. He is an amazing lover and I have never felt as satisfied as I do when I am with him. But there is also the way he always makes me feel so loved and special… the way he kisses the space behind my ear, my eyelids, the hollow of my throat, my wrists and my ankles… gestures so intimate and so sensual. Something changed in him… I think that he seems to feel things more… his passion for everything he does and everyone in his life… it fills me up with a sense of overpowering satisfaction. MY Roman.
“No, I did not hurt Marlena… I would never hurt her…” John insisted as Constable Jones continued to question him about Marlena’s wounds.
“Then why would someone allege that you did?”
“I know who alleged it… and Roman Brady does not really believe that I did it… he knows as well as I do and as well as Marlena does that I would never hurt her. He wants to get me out of their lives. He thinks of me as competition for her love.” John ran his hands through his hair and stood to pace the room, like a tiger. He kept glancing back in the direction of Marlena’s room, desperate to know if anything had happened to her. “I just need to phone the nurses station to see if Marlena is okay…” John grabbed the phone and Constable Jones didn’t try to stop him.
When John placed the phone back down he breathed a sigh of relief, and sat back down. There had been no change in Marlena’s condition.
“So… do you know how she got the bruises?” Constable Jones tone was probing and John hung his head, knowing that Marlena would be angry at him for saying anything. He nodded in defeat. “I saw them…”
“How did you see them? Were you trying to hurt her?”
“Why would you say that? I already told you that I would never hurt her.” John raised his head, his eyes and emotions wild as he reacted to the question.
“So then, tell me, how did you see the bruises?” Constable Jones insisted.
John’s voice was strangled when he spoke. “I saw them when I was with her…” He didn’t want to spread rumours about what they had done. Marlena was already feeling ashamed enough as it was without him telling the police too.
“Did you ask her about them?”
John nodded, his guilt flowing, as he realised that he should have done something about the bruises then. “She told me that she had been hurt while she was being held captive. He assaulted her.”
“Who assaulted her?”
“Orpheus…”
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Orpheus watched as John told the policeman about his illicit affair with Marlena… and about his own involvement in Marlena’s kidnapping and assault. He cursed slightly as he realised that now the cops would be searching for him… whereas before he had managed to blame Isabella for all of his crimes. Now he was alone, and if they found him, Orpheus would have a hard time explaining away what he had done. Now he would just have to be more careful to stay out of sight… he would have to return to watching Marlena from afar.
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John kneeled in front of the statue of the baby Jesus and clutched his hands together, bending his tired head so that it rested on the step in front of him. He tried to stop the flow of tears as they threatened to escape him… again. John was sick of feeling so defeated… so guilty… so unfulfilled. There was only one person who could make that feeling go away… and she was on the brink of death… and John had made a promise to let her go if she lived and she wanted him to. He spoke his grief and his prayers out loud in the empty chapel, his moans of sadness reverberating off the walls. “God… please? You can’t take her away… not like this. Marlena deserves some peace and some happiness… she has been through so much… why can’t she just live and be happy?” John sobbed as he realised the answer to his own question. It was because of him. If he hadn’t been there to confuse her… if he had never come to Salem and assumedRoman’s life… if he had never met Marlena… then none of this constant heart-ache would have been possible. But he also selfishly knew that if he had never met her… he would never have loved so fully and completely. “I promise Lord… that if she does not love me… I will leave her and Roman to live in peace… but please, do not punish her for my sins… please, punish me… and let my beautiful Marlena live…” He lay down on the step in front of the statue and cried, begging God for his mercy. “I will give her up… I will live my life without her. I will make sure that she is happy.” He lay there for what seemed like an eternity… his anguished sobs finally ebbing… as his final fantasy of Marlena
filled his senses.
He turned around… he could smell her unique scent… and there she stood, her arms outstretched… silent tears cascading down her perfect cheeks. Her hospital gown seemed almost heavenly as the light from the doorway shone behind her. She looked like an angel.
John stumbled onto his feet and clumsily made his way towards her, whispering words of disbelief as he stared at her. When he reached her, he was almost afraid to touch her for fear that she was just a vision… a trick of his imagination. But she ran into his arms, enclosing herself into his embrace as he wrapped them around her small body… feeling like she could disappear into him.
“Marlena… Doc… you’re okay?” He whispered into her ear, his hot breath playing with her overwrought senses. “I’m okay John…I heard you telling me to fight… I heard you calling to me… and I came back to you…” Her words were muffled against his chest and she raised her face to look at him, the meaning of her words slowly filtering through John’s clouded senses. “You came back to… me?” He uttered the words in disbelief. “You want me?”
Marlena nodded, the happy tears falling from her face.
“But I told God that I would give you up… I told Him that if he allowed you to live… I would leave you forever…” John tried to step away from her, but Marlena wouldn’t let him.
“No… you told Him that you would let me go IF I didn’t love you. You told Him that you would make sure that I was happy. John… YOU are the only one who can make me happy. Kiss me?” Their lips met in a sweet kiss, full of promise for a wonderful future.
************************
She walked toward the light… her body so weightless… her heart so full of freedom. As she did… pictures of her life flashed before her. The image of him flooded her being… his black hair and muscular body and blue eyes. Then suddenly Marlena was aware of some vivid memories… that danced through her memory, uplifting her entire soul.
He held her close on the pier, their bodies melding into one being as they reunited. “I should have looked for you, I should have known.” John placed his head in his hands, despair filling him. Marlena drew his face up to look into her eyes, and she smiled, wiping his tears away soothingly. “Honey, how could you have known? You can’t blame yourself for any of this. If anything, you helped me Roman… it was your name that I called when I came into consciousness… your face that I focussed on while I tried not to lose hope of ever getting out of there… I knew that I had to get back to you.”
“And now you’re here… promise me Marlena that you will never go away again?” John leaned his forehead to hers, so grateful that she was back.
“I wish I could promise you that honey, but I am not going to make a promise that I can’t keep. I can promise you this, though… I will always love you, as long as I live.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She finally reached the top of the cliff… where he was waiting. He needed to know… she needed to tell him that he was Roman Brady… her husband. She caught the end of her name as she came within earshot.
“What about Marlena?” She gazed into his eyes… those blue orbs that she had already started to love. But now she saw him in a new light… John was her dead husband. She watched as he stumbled towards her and she practically ran into his open arms, thanking god that things had turned out this way. She sobbed as she told him what she knew and they shared their first kiss as renewed husband and wife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marlena slowly fluttered her eyes open, a sense of panic filling her when she didn’t recognise her surroundings. She looked around the strange white room, and then she saw him standing by the door. “Roman…” Her voice was whispered. He turned and stared at her in disbelief, tears filtering from his eyes. “Baby, you’re awake… honey…” In one instant he was by her side, stroking her hair with one hand and her face with the other. She gazed into his eyes and then became confused by his behaviour… the way he reacted when she had called his name… so happy. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing’s wrong?“ He reassured her, his voice so tender. She looked around the room and spoke in a husky voice, her throat a little sore. “Where am I? What’s the matter?” She stared at him again, her eyes teary as she searched for answers. Roman held her hand and kissed it. Then he explained to her about her six week coma… and assured her that now he had her back, they would be together forever.
Marlena felt herself drawn back to his voice… he was telling her to fight to live. Her Roman was calling her back. My Roman, Marlena thought… I have to tell him that I am coming back to him. She fought against the warmth of the light and spoke his name… her lips opening as John and Roman watched her lifeless body mutter the word. “Roman… Roman…”
****************************
Roman and John jumped up when they heard her voice… both talking to her at the same time, squeezing her hands to entice her to open her eyes. But Marlena merely stirred and settled back to sleep.
John and Roman again took their places at her beside, their vigil continuing. Roman smiled a satisfied smile, and eyed John sneakily. She wanted him… Marlena loved him. She had spoken his name.
John tried not to let his spirits drop… but somehow he couldn’t help it. Until now he had allowed himself to hope that maybe she would choose him… but her unconscious rantings were more of a confession than he could have asked for. Just like he had said… Roman was the love of Marlena’s life.
Her eyes fluttered open and the first thing she saw was John sitting there with an anxious frown across his brow. She felt his warm hand covering hers. “Roman…” she called his name, still confused by the effect of the drugs and the surgery. “Roman…”
Her mouth was so dry and the words came out so softly. John looked at her and his brilliant blue eyes sparkled with wonder. Desperately he jumped up out of his chair and crouched down beside the bed, squeezing her hand so tightly. He was so grateful that Roman had stepped out of the room for a moment… that he could savour this moment with Marlena.
“Thank god you are okay… how do you feel?” He rubbed his warm hand along her arm as her hands flew up and caressed his face tenderly. John closed his eyes and let the sensation flow through him. For a moment he let himself believe that she was his. “I’m fine Roman… I am so glad that you were here…” John looked into her brown eyes that smiled down on him. “Aren’t you going to kiss me?” Marlena spoke the words so matter-of-factly, and John turned away, not wanting her to see how upset he was.
“Honey…?” Her voice turned cold and her heart thumped at his silence. “What is wrong? Roman…”
John swung around to answer her, just as Roman came fumbling into the room. He heard his name and rushed to her side. John watched as Marlena’s eyes widened in confusion. “What is it Doc? I am here… I am right here…” Roman grasped her weak body to his chest and squeezed, while Marlena looked over at John with a dreadful look of realisation. She tried to search her mind for the answer… but she couldn’t find it. When Roman pulled away, her eyes travelled between the two men. Then addressing John she spoke quietly, her voice almost a whisper. “What’s happening? What is going on here? God… I must be dreaming… why would I dream about this?” She closed her eyes to shut out the vision of two Romans… and at an instant both John and Roman were holding onto her. It was John who spoke first. “Remember Doc… I am not Roman… I am John… and Roman is back…” Marlena gasped as she looked up at John with tear-filled eyes, and suddenly it all came rushing back to her. Orpheus… the bruises… the fight… the accident… and the battle for her heart. She sobbed recklessly as John and Roman both tried to comfort her, her mind and body aching as she asked herself why life had to be unfair. She began to fight their touch and thrashed away from them, as a nurse came running into the room. “Mr Brady… Mr Black… we need some space here…” John and Roman watched as they sedated her… and she fought them. John found it so hard to resist the urge to punch the male nurse that blocked his way into the room. He wanted to run and stop them and protect Marlena from everything that could ever hurt her.
*******************************
“Roman… I’m sorry that I freaked out.” Marlena whispered, her throat dry, and her voice hoarse. She watched as her husband walked slowly into the room, eyeing her cautiously.
“Marlena… I need to ask you something…” Roman blurted it out, unable to hold back any longer. He took her hand in his and saw her confused eyes staring at him. “I need to know who you love? John or me? I need to know who you want to be with…”
Marlena frowned and folded her arms across her chest. “How can you ask me that? How can you ask me to make my decision now?”
She tried not to cry. Her entire body and mind ached, and Roman was pressuring her to make a decision. She understood that he was anxious and wanted to know… but she also found herself thinking that he was being selfish.
******************************
I don’t know how to make my choice. I don’t know how… and I don’t know if I ever will. I know that when I saw John’s face when I woke up from my coma… I was filled with happiness. Then when I saw Roman and it all came crashing back to me… my whole heart and mind ached when I realised that I still had such a difficult decision to make. How I wish that I was back in 1986… When life was relatively simple and my heart did not ache like it does now. I was with him… I was with my Roman… the man who had my entire heart and soul and body. I do love John and when I see him I long for the days when we were together and planning to stay together forever. But I have to decide if that’s all it is… does my heart still belong to Roman… or does it now belong to John?
*******************************
John approached her tentatively, not even sure what to say to her. She looked so beautiful as she sat there in the stark hospital bed, the covers up to her hips, her upper body clothed in a blue hospital gown. John never thought that he would say that a hospital gown could look sexy… but on Marlena it did. She was so pale but her eyes were so much more apparent in contrast… the confusion and the uncertainty shining through them. She smiled wanly as she watched him approach the bed, sitting beside her on the chair, his face drawn and gloomy. He didn’t touch her and Marlena desired to feel his touch so desperately… she wanted to feel his warmth and his comfort. She held her hand out to him, begging for him to take it, her eyes pleading with him in a game of non-verbal communication.
John hesitated. Somehow he knew that having flesh to flesh contact with her would make what he had to say so much harder. But his heart wouldn’t allow him to pass up this opportunity to touch her… just one last time. His hand trembled as he reached for hers… ever so slowly… and he engulfed her small hand into his… his entire body burning up into feverish need as he did so.
She smiled at him in encouragement, her eyes closing slightly as she allowed his warmth to fill her. When he spoke, his words were so full of love and concern that she almost sobbed. Marlena… thank god that you are okay…” His emotion overcame him as he pressed his tear stained face into her palm. Marlena cupped his chin with her hand and whispered reassuring words. “Shhhh… I’m okay… everything is going to be okay…”
He looked up into her beautiful eyes and found himself gushing all of his emotions and feelings. “No… it’s not going to be okay. I am the reason that you are in here at all. If only I hadn’t have started that fight with Roman… if only I had done something about those bruises when I first saw them… if only…” He burst into tears and turned his face away from her, not willing to look at her from the guilt that tore him up inside.
Marlena felt her own tears well up and she was overcome with her feelings for the man beside her. She groped for his face… and placed her cold hand onto his cheek. “Look at me John… look at me…” she demanded when John wouldn’t comply. She saw his intense blue eyes staring at her and despite of herself she gasped. But she recovered quickly and smiled at him, not releasing his face. “You are not to blame for any of this. I didn’t WANT to be helped… I didn’t allow you to help me. You did the best that you could. But it’s okay… everything will be fine now…”
John nodded and took a deep breath. Now was the time to tell her… now was the last chance that he had… because John knew that if he looked into those eyes any longer, then he would be lost… and unable to let her go. He squeezed her hand tighter and leaned towards her. “No… everything is not going to be okay… at least not for me…” He spoke in a whisper, and he wished that she would understand and the conversation would be over with. But Marlena didn’t want to understand. Her eyes opened wider and she felt her heart begin to pound in her chest as she wondered what he was talking about. An unexplainable sense of terror seized her. “W… what do… you… mean?” She struggled to release the words, grasping his hand in a locked grip…afraid that he would disappear if she lost that contact.
John shook his head and slipped his hand away from her, afraid to touch her any longer. He couldn’t look at her… he didn’t want to see her disappointment in him. But he knew that this was for the best. She loved Roman and she needed to be with him. “Doc… I am letting you go.” Those simple words were the hardest words that he had ever had to say. He almost moaned as he said them, but he held back and he hid the torrent of emotions that swirled around inside him. If he had been standing, John knew that he would have stumbled, unable to hold himself upright on his weak legs.
Marlena looked at him in shock, the pain tugging at her heart.
“Letting me go?” She mouthed the words almost inaudibly and John nodded his head. “I have to… you love Roman… we all know that.”
She shook her head violently from side to side, trying to block out his words. He continued and she placed her hands over her ears. “Doc… you have to face it sometime… and so do I. We will only end up hurting each other and Roman if we continue to play this game.”
“John… I…” Marlena sobbed, bringing her hands up to his face, but he wrenched it away violently. “Don’t…” he found himself yelling and then looked up in horror when her hands flew up to her face, muffling her sobs.
“Oh Doc… oh God… I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. Are you okay?” He stood up and removed her hands from her face and she looked up at him, glaring into his eyes. “Yeah well you said that you would always be there for me. You said that you would let me make my decision and that you would wait for me…”
John’s eyes widened, and he allowed the hope to fill his heart. He forced her to look at him. “What are you saying, Marlena? That you have made up your mind? That you want me?” Marlena averted his gaze. Did she want him? Her heart and her mind were still so confused, still so unsure. She didn’t know if she wanted him or loved him, but she did know that she couldn’t lose him.
“I… uh…” She tried to think of something to say that would make him stay. But no words came out.
John dropped her face as though he was burned, and as suddenly as it had entered, the light died again, leaving his entire being feeling empty. He shook his head as he walked to the other side of the room, his back facing her. “You love him Marlena. Believe me, this will be the best thing in the long run. You will thank me one day.”
“Thank you?” Her words were bitter as she spoke through the tears. “How do you figure that?” She waited for him to turn around, and when he didn’t she got angry. “Turn around and tell me…” She screamed hysterically. She swung her legs from the side of the bed just as he complied to her request, scared for her health because of how upset she was making herself. He rushed to her side and swept her up into his arms just as she tried to stand, her face turning pale in the attempt. He hugged her to his chest and kissed the top of her head, whispering soothing words as she cried into his neck. John wanted to hold her that way forever… if only she had chosen him… if only she had spoken his name when she had been unconscious… then things would have been different.
“Doc… please just listen to me?” He spoke tentatively when she had calmed down, her breathing slowly returning to normal. He placed her back into bed, but this time he sat beside her, holding her hands with his. “Do you love Roman?” He asked, his question simple.Marlena felt her throat constrict and when she spoke her voice was hoarse. “Yes… of course I love him…”
“Then that is my answer. Doc… you always loved Roman. It was always him that you wanted… that you thought you were with…”
“No… no… no…” She shook her head the tears, pouring from her eyes. Marlena didn’t want to hear it. “Stop it…” John grabbed her head to stop the thrashing. “It’s true… even when you were with me, you thought that you were with him. My memories were not even mine… they were his. Our love was manufactured. You know that I am right…” He looked into her eyes and saw a sad acknowledgement in them. As much as it hurt, Marlena had to admit that. But she still didn’t know if out of that manufactured love, had grown a real love… a love that was deep and powerful.
But from the look in her eyes, John knew that he finally had his answer. He kissed her forehead. “Bye Doc…” He made a move to stand up, but Marlena grabbed his arms. “No Doc…” He shook his head, his heart breaking at the lost look in her wide eyes.
“John… you can’t leave me like this. You can’t leave it like this…”
She grabbed onto his shirt as he tried to pull away from her. “I haven’t decided yet… I haven’t chosen Roman…”
“Doc… that is where you are wrong. Your heart chose Roman a long time ago… long before you met me. He’ll make you happy.”
“John… tell me one thing…” Her tone was one of defeat, but she had to know. She hoped that John’s answer would evoke a decision. “Do you love me?” It was a small voice that spoke.
John’s heart momentarily stopped. He knew what he had to say now… but it was going to be the hardest thing that he had ever had to say. He closed his eyes to block out her beautiful face. “Doc… My love for you was programmed. My emotions and my feelings were implanted into me. My love for you is based on his memories. And one day when I find out who I really am, those feelings will be wiped away and replaced with my true memories. I can’t offer you my love and be able to promise you that it will last forever. He can…” He grasped Marlena’s trembling body to his and he placed his lips upon her cheek.
“You don’t mean that… you can’t…”
“Doc… I’m speaking the truth… and I think we have both been too afraid to say it before. I have to go Doc…”
“But John, I DO love you…” She grasped his hair, and held him close to her.
“But you love Roman more… can you deny that?” John looked up as Marlena averted her eyes, not ready to make that call. He stepped away from her, and as he reached the door she spoke, in a voice so broken… so unlike Marlena’s.
“We can still be friends right? I don’t think I could bear to live my life without having you as at least my friend…” Her brown eyes pleaded with his broken blue ones.
John closed his eyes and shook his head, knowing that this would be the last thing that he would ever say to her… his beautiful Marlena… the light of his life. “Maybe one day… when I can walk by you in the street and not want you… not ache for you… maybe then…” He walked out of her room for the last time.
*****************************
I always thought that I would die if we ever had to say goodbye. But how can I choose between two men that I love with my entire being? They both expect the decision to be so easy… so simple… me or him, but neither of them understands that I have loved them both and that I still love them both. I told him that I loved him… I told him that I hadn’t chosen. But he did it for me… he ended it. And now it is too late… His words are like daggers to my heart every time I think of them. “I can’t offer you my love and be able to promise you that it will last forever. He can…” I don’t think he will ever realise how those words crushed my entire being. Now it is finally over.
He watched her as the pain and anger took over her. He watched as she found the strength to push everyone who tried to comfort her from the room. He chuckled that she still did not even realise the depth of her feelings for John Black.
Now that she had isolated everyone… Orpheus knew that it was time to make his move.
*****************************
She was inconsolable. Her entire body shook with sobs. How could he do this? How could he leave her here like this, telling her that they could never even be friends? She wanted to go after him… she wanted to force him to come back to her. But she couldn’t.
She refused to let anyone see her… she refused to be comforted. And even though he had walked out, Marlena didn’t believe that this was final. She would make her decision and then she would go to him. He would be there waiting for her… she knew he would. Even so… his words had hurt her more than she could ever have believed possible.
“Go away…” She heard the door swing open and the footsteps enter. She didn’t even look up to see who it was… until she felt the chill in the air, and she knew that he had come back for her. Her head shot up and she could see him comical grin… and suddenly she felt like she had merely a month ago… his prisoner in a sterile room.
She opened her mouth to scream, and felt his repulsive hand cover her mouth to stop her. She could taste the salt from his skin and she did the only thing she could think of to get him away from her… she bit into his hand deep and hard. “Fuck you bitch…” Orpheus backhanded her with blood dripping from the open wound. Her hand flew to her face, in an attempt to calm the rush of blood that the blow caused. Then facing him with a glare in her eyes she retorted. “NO… FUCK YOU…”
“Well, well, well… its seems like the lovely Dr Evans has finally found some of that fighting spirit that I have been watching for all these years. Hmmm… maybe John leaving you high and dry did that to you… Maybe he had finally had enough of the poor, fragile Marlena act…” He was taunting her, his foul breath suffocating the air of the room.
“What the hell would you know? You are just a sick, twisted, bitter, poor excuse of a man… You have no idea what nobility is. You have no idea why John did what he did. He loves me, I know he does…” A white hand flew up to her mouth as she said it. Now she had shown Orpheus her weakness, and she had no doubt that he would find a way to use it against her.
“Ah… so it is the noble John Black that has won your heart?”
Orpheus had a gleam in her eyes, knowing that he was adding to her confusion. “Too bad that he just told you that he never
wants to see you again.” Marlena wasn’t going to give Orpheus the satisfaction of showing him how upset his comments made her. Her mind raced at a mile per minute. Did she love John? Was it John who she really wanted? She couldn’t be sure… she needed time to think. But what other explanation could there be? Why else would John’s sudden departure cause such an emptiness inside her entire being?
“Leave me alone…” She refused to look at her enemy standing before her. Orpheus merely chuckled and placed his lips upon her soft, pale cheek, before smearing the blood from his hand onto it. He was marking her.
“I’ll be back for you…”
************************
John stared back at Salem as he waited for his plane to arrive. He clutched the photo of himself and Marlena at their wedding to his chest, letting all of his internal anguish become somewhat soothed by the memoir. “Oh Marlena… if only it didn’t have to end like this…” The thoughts of her pleading with him not to leave her haunted him. And even now he was fighting the urge to get back into his car, rush to her side, and hold her forever.
He heard the announcement over the intercom, which signified the end of this chapter of his life… the end of his life with Marlena. He clutched his ticket into his hand and moved slowly towards the gate. It was now or never… tonight was the night that he would say goodbye to Salem and his life as Roman Brady forever more.
*************************
Roman watched her through the window of the hospital room. She had finally stopped crying. He was enraged at the thought that she shed each and every one of those tears for John Black… that her feelings for the impostor ran deeper than any of them had realised. Roman knew that now was his time to act… because if he waited too much longer, he would lose her… this time forever.
She smiled up at him wistfully as he entered the room, and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. Roman could see her bare shoulder where her hospital gown had fallen down slightly, and he caught a glimpse of her silky breast just below that. He reached a hand out tentatively to touch it. “You are so beautiful…” He murmured. He felt her resist him, her body tensing up slightly as he made his move. But Roman knew that he would have to convince her with warm words and seductive touches. He edged over to the bed and he sat beside her.
Marlena merely looked at him with stunned eyes. “Baby… look what you do to me…” Roman took her hand and placed it over his crotch, where her heart raced at how erect he was. He pushed her hand into him in circular motions, knowing that if he let her go, she would remove it altogether. “I want you so badly…”
“Roman… I… we… can’t…” She was so confused by the emotions that raced around her mind. Somehow she felt guilty that she was even thinking about letting Roman comfort her… as if by that action she would be unfaithful to John.
She felt his lips bite down onto the skin of her neck, and she closed her eyes. She had lost John… now Roman was all she had left. He was her husband… so why did this feel so wrong? Suddenly she pushed him away from her. “Roman… not here… I’m sorry…”
*****************************
“Marlena… darling, how are you?” A warm smile crossed Marlena’s eyes when Shawn and Caroline came in to see her. No matter what had happened, they still looked upon her as their daughter. When Caroline hugged her closely, the tears welled up inMarlena’s eyes again, the comfort of that embrace almost more than she could bear.
“Marlena, what is it?” Caroline patted both of Marlena’s hands with hers and settled herself on the bed beside her. “I wish that I had died…” Heartbreaking sobs wracked her body as Marlena finally allowed herself to say the words that she had been thinking. Caroline hugged her to her chest and rocked the distraught woman against her, murmuring words of comfort. Shawn realised that they needed to be alone and he kissed the top of Marlena’s head. “Honey… nothing can be that bad… just remember that there are so many people out there that love you so much…” Marlena burst into tears again. She felt utterly wretched, and she knew that she did not deserve love.
“Talk to me, Marlena…” Marlena’s face rested on Caroline’s bosom as she slowly allowed herself to calm down.
“I don’t know what to do. They were fighting for me… and now I have hurt both of them…” Her voice was muffled, but at once Caroline understood.
“You mean Roman and John?… Marlena, you can’t blame yourself for any of this. All you can do now is decide who you love more… and end this agony that you are putting yourself through.”
“But HOW?” Marlena sat and looked Caroline in the eye. “HOW do I choose between them? How do I even know if my love for John was real?”
“That is crap…” Marlena looked up, startled by Caroline’s words. She fixed a concentrated gaze on her mother in law. “Everybody knows how much you and John were in love… everybody could see it every time you were together…”
Marlena returned her head to her hands, and moaned in despair. “But we thought that he was Roman… we thought that he was my husband… his memories were implanted.”
“Marlena… you are talking absolute crap. You of all people should KNOW that nothing can hide what is in a person’s heart. What existed between John and you may have started as a sick plot to have him take over Roman’s life… but there is no way that you can deny what your hearts meant to one another. What you loved about John… is all HIM…” Marlena knew that Caroline was right, and suddenly her heart began to soar. She could hardly even speak as she uttered the next words.
“But how… how do I choose?”
“Look into your heart Marlena. Imagine yourself in ten years time with each of them… that will tell you what you want…” Caroline’s heart broke as she realised that Roman was going to lose out. It was so obvious to everyone else that the love between John and Marlena was meant to be. But she couldn’t let the three souls become so tormented by their feelings that they would end up hurting one another even more than they had already been hurt. This was the only way for it to end.
Marlena closed her eyes and the first thing that popped into her vision, was John’s face… his bright blue eyes as they stared at her. She allowed her mind to fast-forward ten years and she saw herself… older.
A man stood by the fire, a drink in his hand. But she couldn’t see his face. She picked up her drink and swallowed a mouthful… gagging at the potency of the liquor. She looked around for the kids… for Sami and Eric and Carrie. “Where are the kids?” She spoke in a ghost-like voice… and then he turned. It was Roman… looking older and worn out. “Where do you think they are? With John Black… the man who stole my whole family from me…”
Then Marlena forced herself to think of life with John.
She sat in the rocking chair… her whole body fatigued. But a feeling of incredible happiness filled her heart. She heard his voice and she searched for him. Then she found him. He stood across the room, gazing at the baby in her arms… every now and then pausing to look over at her. She glanced down and saw the ring on her finger and knew that she was married to him. “Doc… honey… are you up to this?” John approached her and placed the child in her arms. Then he knelt beside her and watched with absolute devotion as she let the baby suckle her breast. “I love you honey…”
She allowed herself to let his words wash over her and she realised that this was the path that she had to take. “John… I need to find him… I need to tell him…”
To my darling Marlena,
Not a day goes by when I don’t wish that you were by my side. It’s been a year since you died, and still I can’t seem to stop pining for you. I dream about you every night… about what we had, and about what we might have had. Sometimes the dreams are so vivid, that I can almost believe that you are really back… that you didn’t die like they all said.
Honey, I didn’t want to believe it… I couldn’t believe it… but as the days passed, and then the weeks, and then the months… I accepted it. But I will never get over it.
I know that I will have to move on, and somehow, I think that this is my way of saying my final goodbye to you, my one true love. I may love again… but I know that I will NEVER love anyone the way I do you.
Marlena, if there wasn’t anything else… if I wasn’t Roman Brady… if I had never found out my true identity, I would still have loved you. That thought brings me comfort. Nothing will ever dampen the love that I feel for you.
Your Roman.
Marlena folded the note with trembling fingers, and large tears brimming in her eyes. She let out a shaky breath as she placed the crumpled letter against her heart, and closed her eyes as she savoured the moment. She felt Caroline’s warm, motherly hand cover hers, and she opened her eyes, the purest of joy shining out through them. “He loves me…” She whispered in the softest of voices, holding her threatening cascade of emotions in check. There was no need for words and Caroline merely nodded, and felt her own tears well up behind her eyes.
“But he told me that he doesn’t love me… could he have lied about that?” Marlena spoke, the frown of confusion etched across her face. She looked up at Caroline, expectation in her eyes. Marlena needed answers.
“He said that? He actually said that he doesn’t love you?” Caroline
couldn’t believe that it was true. John would never have said that… he loved Marlena with more of himself than anyone had ever loved another person.
Marlena frowned in concentration… as if trying to remember. But she knew that she didn’t have to… his words were burned into her brain, and she didn’t know if she would ever be able to forget them. My love for you is based on his memories. And one day when I find out who I really am, those feelings will be wiped away and replaced with my true memories. I can’t offer you my love and be able to promise you that it will last forever. As Marlena recounted the words, she felt a stab at her heart, and her face sunk as she realised that maybe she was too late… that now, John didn’t want her. She allowed herself to slump backwards onto the bed, her posture and accompanying sigh conceding defeat. “It will cause too much pain… I can’t do this to him.” She shook her head.
Caroline knew that she had to make Marlena understand. She knew what her daughter-in-law was going through, and she could not bear to see her give up on the love of her life. “Honey… you listen to me, okay?” She spoke firmly, and forced Marlena to look up at her, by grasping hold of her face. “John was trying to do the noble thing by leaving. He thought that you would chose Roman. He wanted to save you the heartache of hurting one of them. You know John… you know that he always puts everyone else’s needs before his own. So if anything… him walking away proves without a doubt, that he does love you…” She watched as the hope flooded through Marlena again… and her cheeks reddened to a healthy glow. And for the first time in a long time, Caroline saw Marlena smile… the small wrinkles that formed beside her eyes, as her whole face lit up.
“You’re right Caroline… John does love me… I have to find him… I have to tell him… Can you find him for me? Please… just get him to come here…” Marlena was almost hyperventilating as she spoke her instructions. There was an urgency in her manner that she couldn’t explain. But somehow she knew, that if she was going to find John… it had to be now.
****************************
Roman watched from the hospital room window as the two women talk. He felt a twinge of jealousy that Marlena was confiding in his mother, rather than in him. Who did she think she was, pushing him away like that? Roman seethed to himself. He looked down and noticed that his knuckles were white from being clenched into a tight ball. He tried to listen to what they were saying, but he couldn’t catch much of the conversation. The most her knew was that they were talking about him and John.
He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, that he didn’t notice Orpheus approaching him from behind, disguised behind a large black coat. Not until the mans tainted hands fell upon his shoulder. “Hello Roman.” His tone was almost mocking.
“YOU…” Roman growled, as he swung around to face Orpheus. “You did this to her… you are going down!” He bared his teeth like an animal, as he swung his fist. He had been drinking, so he was hardly a good shot, and he missed. Orpheus chuckled, as Roman came at him again, and slammed him against the wall. “You don’t mess with Marlena, you hear me?” he threatened, his entire body trembling with rage.
“I came to tell you the good news…” Orpheus smiled, as Roman
slowly released his grip.
“About what?” Roman eyed him warily, as Orpheus adjusted the
collar of his shirt purposefully.
“About John Black!”
Roman turned away, angry that Orpheus would even mention that man’s name to him. “Well, don’t you want to hear it?”
Roman spun around and looked towards Marlena’s room. “What?” he asked, defeated. He had to know.
“John Black is on his way to Salem airport… he is catching the first flight out of Salem that he can find…” Orpheus rubbed his hands together as Roman’s eyes became wide with excitement.
“Then she is all MINE…” He spoked through clenched teeth, and he became turned on just thinking about it.
Orpheus smiled and turned around. He would leave the idiotic Roman to dig his own grave with Marlena. And then, with both John and Roman out of the way, he would have free reign on Marlena.
********************************
“Don’t worry Marlena, I’m sure John would have gotten my message. He won’t go anywhere if he thinks that you are in trouble…” Caroline looked down at Marlena, whose face had become almost ghostlike. “How could he l… leave?” Marlena spoke in almost a whisper. They were waiting at the counter for
someone to help them. They didn’t know where he was going, and they hoped that someone would help them to find him.
“Caroline, you just have to take me to the airport. He won’t come back if you go by yourself. I need to be there… I need to convince him…” Marlena had tears in her eyes as she tried to convince Caroline to take her to the airport. Just a few minutes before, Shawn had announced to both of them that John had called as he was about to board his plane.
“Why… why would he do this?” Marlena asked herself, as Caroline made up her mind. “God… I can’t let him go. If you won’t take me… I will just have to find a way to get there myself…” Marlena swung her legs off the side of the bed and started to stand up, cringing at the pain that swept through her abdomen as she did so. Her knees started to fall out beneath her, and Caroline grabbed her so that she wouldn’t fall. “Don’t TOUCH me… I am going! You can’t stop me…” Marlena was hysterical as she sat on the edge of the bed, knowing that if Caroline didn’t take her, she had no chance of getting there in her weak state.
“I won’t try to stop you… I am going to help you.”
“Can I help you?” Marlena was broken from her thoughts as the woman at the counter finally acknowledged them. Caroline pushed Marlena’s wheelchair closer to the counter and spoke before Marlena could.
“Please, my friend and I are looking for someone. He is booked onto a flight… we need to find him before the plane takes off…”
“Do you know which flight he is on?” The young woman asked matter-of-factly.
“No.”
“Do you know where he was headed?”
“No… sorry…” Caroline spoke awkwardly as the woman gazed at them quizzically, her interest obviously roused by Marlena and Caroline.
“I’m sorry… I can’t hel…”
Marlena couldn‘t stay silent any longer. She could not allow John to leave like this. “Please… you have to find him… you have to tell me what flight he was on?” Marlena gasped, as she begged the flight attendant to help her. Tears filled her dark brown eyes, and she started to sob at the thought of never seeing him again. Caroline looked at the woman with a desperate plea. “Please… we need to find him?” The flight attendant glanced at Marlena, her weak form confined in a wheelchair, the picture of sheer misery, and she nodded her head.
She started furiously typing away as Caroline grasped Marlena’s hand in her own. They glanced at each other fearfully. What if they were too late? “Aha… John Black is on flight 227 to Mexico. It is due to take off in approximately…” The woman looked at her watch. “Two minutes. You had better hurry if you want to catch him.” Marlena tried to stand up, but Caroline pushed her back down and started hurrying through the airport, pushing Marlena as fast as she could.
John had to force himself to sit down on his seat and stay there. How could he be leaving her like this? How could he have given her up? John could see his beautiful Marlena in his mind… he could see how fragile she was, and how life had broken her spirit. But he knew that he couldn’t do anything about that any more… that it was Roman’s job now.
John closed his eyes and let his mind wander, as he waited rather impatiently for the plane to take off. Soon he would be away from Salem… and soon he would be able to start a new life.
John didn’t notice the woman enter the plane at the front. He didn’t see her as she hurried up the aisle, searching for something or someone… He didn’t see her stop beside his seat, as her brown eyes searched him out. The first awareness that he had of her presence was the unmistakable scent of her, as it filled his nose… her perfume mixed with her shampoo. He snapped his head back and breathed in deeply, as he opened his eyes to look up at her. Marlena spoke his name, with small tears trickling from her beautiful eyes.
“What are you doing here?” He asked her, as she stared down at him. John had to fight the urge to stand up and take her in his arms. But he knew that he couldn’t do that… not until he knew what her intentions were. “You can’t leave Salem like this… you can’t leave me like this…” John was almost unaware of the eyes of everyone on the plane as they lost themselves in their own personal game. He could feel his heart thudding as Marlena spoke, and suddenly his heart soared at the fact that maybe she did love him.
But he had to know. He had to hear her say those three words to him. As he wanted to say to her. “Why is it so important to you that I stay?” His blue eyes stared into hers with an intensity that willed her to say what he needed to hear. But as she looked down towards the floor, unable to keep eye contact, and shuffling her feet, john knew that it wasn’t meant to be. He couldn’t keep doing this… he couldn’t let himself fall into this trap again. “I… uh… I… please? I need you…” Need… it was the wrong word. John closed his eyes briefly as he got his emotions under control. Then he spoke… “Go home Marlena. We are through!” He watched as she blinked back her tears, and gulped, before moving towards the back of the plane. John grasped the arms of his seat tightly to stop himself from running after her. ‘I love you Marlena!’ He mouthed the words as she left his life forever.
John was fast becoming irritated. It was a long flight, and the person behind him had started kicking his chair. The constant tap tap tap was sending him over the edge. To make it even worse, the man in front of him had reclined his chair so far back that John could almost see the top of his head. He was feeling claustrophobic, aggravated, and mad at himself for letting Marlena go. He could hear the person behind him giggling softly, as the pounding continued. Now it was harder than before, and each time it reverberated through his back. He guessed that it was a bunch of kids, having a little fun back there… and he had to fight the urge to turn around and give them a piece of his mind. But John sighed as he realised that it would just make him more annoyed at himself. He closed his eyes, willing the plane to hurry up so that he could get away from here.
Suddenly he felt a hand brush his hair ever so slightly. An accident… he told himself as he closed his eyes again. He heard giggling again, a little louder this time, and he had a strange feeling when he heard it. But he settled back in to go to sleep, reclining his chair slightly so as to get away from the bald man in front. He turned to his side so that he was facing the window, and he closed his eyes, willing himself to fall asleep. Then, he jumped when he felt someone blowing onto his neck. All at once it hit him. The way his body reacted to the sensation, the smell of her.
She was so close to him, he could feel it. He started to move so that he could turn to face her, but Marlena’s hands travelled to his shoulders, and her lips moved close to his ear… not touching… but so oppressively close that he could feel the heat of her skin radiating onto his. “Don’t turn around… not yet…” she whispered. Her breath fell upon his ear and John closed his eyes and enjoyed the heady sensation. He moaned slightly when her tongue sneaked out to trace his ear, and her teeth found his earlobe, and gently nipped it.
“Doc… you have to… we can’t… I thought that I made myself clear about this…” John started to gather his senses, and he glanced at the old woman who sat beside him, throwing disapproving looks in their direction as she completed her knitting. Her lips fell upon his neck and then her breath hit the wet as she blew over it, and her index finger traced his jaw line. “Doc… STOP!” He demanded. Marlena moved her lips and placed them against his ear, and spoke huskily, so that only he could hear. “I love you…” John gasped as the revelation hit him. “You… you… do you really mean that?” He tried to turn around to look at her, but she stopped him with her warning. “Don’t turn around…”
“I mean it…” Her hands made quick work of unbuttoning his top button and slid beneath his shirt, running over the hairs on his chest. Her lips and teeth were kissing and sucking on his neck from behind. John noticed the woman beside him again, and spoke in a deep murmur… “Other side…” Marlena understood his meaning, and moved her face to the other side of his neck. “I want… I want to kiss you…” John murmured, as Marlena let one hand travel down to the growing bulge in John’s pants. “Doc… oh my god… I want you…” Marlena watched as the woman beside John, stood up in a huff and moved towards the back of the plane, her face red, and her gaze averted as she did so. John didn’t even notice.
She reclined his chair the whole way and moved up and over him. Before John knew what was happening, she was straddling him… facing him… pressing herself into him. John brought his chair back up and grabbed her face, bringing his lips upon hers in a crushing motion. Their tongues mated, as John’s hands travelled over Marlena’s body. “I want you now…” John spoke gruffly. “You are so bad…” Marlena giggled as she pulled away from him, and started to move from atop him. “Me? I’m bad? You should talk…”
John raised his eyebrow and grasped Marlena’s hips, to stop her from moving any further. “What did I do?” She asked innocently, and then they both burst into a fit of laughter. “I don’t know what has gotten into you… but I like the seductress side of Marlena Evans…” John grabbed her and pulled her back on top of him. Then he reached down and pulled her g-string to the side. Unzipping his pants, his member sprung free, and he pulled Marlena down on top of him.
They began to move together as the rest of the plane slept. Their mouths remained locked in passionate kisses in an attempt to muffle the screams that escaped them. They came together and Marlena collapsed exhaustedly onto John’s chest. He hugged her to him. “I’m so glad that you stayed…”
John was woken from his reverie by the sound of the pilot coming over the loud speaker. “Please turn off all mobile phones as the plane is due for take-off in three minutes.” John reached down and pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket. He frowned when the screen flashed, showing that he had missed a call. Dialling the number for his voice mail… he waited for his message to be heard.
***************************
It’s over! I didn’t make it in time. John is gone from my life forever. I should have made up my mind sooner… I should have realised that I loved him. How can I go back to what I had after sampling John’s love?… if only for a short while. I need him… and I will find him. No matter what I have to do.
“John… John… nooooooo…” Marlena threw herself out of the chair and pressed herself against the cold pane of the window, as the plane moved down the runway. Tears cascaded down her cheeks as she watched him fly away… away from Salem… away from his family… and away from her. Caroline rushed to her side as her legs gave way beneath her, and Marlena slid slowly down to her knees. Caroline rubbed her back and stroked her hair as she cried her heart out. “Don’t worry honey… we’ll find him… it will be okay…” Caroline tried not to cry herself. After all that she had tried to do for Marlena, she was now in worse shape than she had been before.
A couple of concerned bystanders made their way over to where Caroline knelt beside Marlena, her face a picture of despair. How could she help Marlena?
“Is everything okay here? Can we help?” Caroline gazed up at the young men and wiped away her tears. “I have to get her back into the wheelchair. I have to get her back to University Hospital…” she explained, not knowing what else to do. The young men nodded and moved beside Marlena.
“Don’t worry… I can do that…” A deep voice sounded from behind them.
******************************
He stood there watching the scene before him. His heart both soared and broke as he saw her there… Marlena was there mourning for his loss. He wondered if something was wrong. Caroline’s message had sounded urgent… it had compelled him to get off the plane. When he had heard the words of the woman he had once called his mother, he had gotten a bad feeling that something had happened to Marlena. He watched as the two men came beside her broken form, and her hysterical movements as she swatted them away.
He knew that it was time to make his presence known. “Don’t worry… I can do that…” Caroline noticed him at once and threw herself into his arms. “John… thank god that you are here…” She glanced over at Marlena who remained curled up into a ball, totally oblivious to what was going on around her. “Thanks guys…” John shook the hands of the two young men as they expressed their concerns. “Help her okay buddy?” One of them spoke, and John nodded, gulping as he looked towards her again.
“Marlena…” He spoke quietly, as he squatted down, trying to get her attention. The beloved voice reached her senses, and Marlena looked up and turned her head, her face tearful and full of anticipation. Her eyes locked with his. “Are you okay?” Marlena moved towards him on her knees, every motion a struggle. She nodded. “I thought that you had gone… I thought that… you… had… left me…” She choked back sobs as John moved so that he was as close to her as he could possibly get without touching her. Without warning, she threw herself into his arms, and burst into tears of both happiness and sadness, relief and pain. John folded his strong arms around her, and sighed as he realised how perfect this felt… him being the one to comfort her. His arms fit around her like she was made for them. He kissed the top of her head. “Oh baby… I thought that you would want me to… I thought that you needed him… not me…”
“Did you mean it? Did you mean it when you said that you don’t love me?” Marlena gazed up at him fearfully, her eyes so childlike and afraid as she waited for his answer.
John smiled down at her and placed his lips to Marlena’s forehead. Even to his feverish lips, he could feel that she was hot. “No baby… I didn’t mean it. I do love you…” He lifted her in his arms and stood up. “Where are we going?” Marlena tucked her head into John’s neck and spoke to him drowsily. She was failing fast and John knew that he needed to get her back to the hospital. “I’m taking you back to the hospital… you’re sick honey…”
“You won’t leave me?” Marlena asked sweetly.
“I won’t leave…” John promised. Caroline brought the wheelchair over to him, but John shook his head. He was determined to carry his precious burden, not willing to let her out of his arms for a moment. And for the first time in a long time, John was starting to feel like their love had a chance. She hadn’t said it to him yet, but John was sure now that she loved him. Her being here proved that.
************************************
Roman glared at John as he rushed into Marlena’s hospital room, with Marlena in his arms. She was asleep, and she looked so peaceful, her head against his chest and one arm wrapped lazily around his neck. Roman tried to intercept John and his mum as they entered the room. “What is going on here? I thought you were leaving Salem…” He spoke with irritation and his hands travelled to Marlena’s skin as he tried to show John who her husband was. He was thrown by the fact that John was here… and that Marlena was with him. He hoped that it didn’t mean that she had chosen to be with him. He planted himself at her bedside as John tucked her into bed, and kissed her cheek so gently. Roman fought the urge to take him outside and kill him.
Just as he was about to say something to John, who didn’t even seem to register Roman’s presence in the room, the doctor came rushing in with Caroline.
*****************************
“John… John…” Marlena’s throat was dry as she came to, and she spoke his name in a half-conscious state. She felt a hand grip more tightly around her hand, and she smiled as her eyes fluttered open. She turned her head to the sound of his soothing voice, and she could feel his warm hand cupping her cheek. “John?” She asked, almost as if she didn’t believe that he was really sitting beside her.
“Yes Doc… I’m here… shhh… it’s okay…” Marlena made a move to sit up in bed, and she cried out in pain, as John moved closer to her and grasped her shoulders. “Don’t try to move… just rest, okay?” His blue eyes stared into hers and he smiled at her… so lovingly. Marlena nodded, and found herself lost in his gaze. “I thought that… maybe… I had dreamed it…” She explained, her voice soft.
“I promised you didn’t I?… I told you I wouldn’t leave you…”
John’s hands caressed her face and Marlena closed her eyes as she let the sensations that he was causing sink in. “I’m so glad you stayed…” She whispered, as she opened her eyes to look at him.
John lowered his face ever so slowly to hers, his eyes darting between her eyes and her lips. Just as they were about to touch, they were startled by a deep voice in the doorway. “Ahem…” It was Roman clearing his throat. “Anyone care to tell me what is going on in here?”
“Roman…” Marlena sat up and the panic in her face said it all. She looked between John and Roman, and John was afraid that she would realise that Roman was the one that she wanted. He smiled at her encouragingly. Although she hadn’t said it to him yet, John was sure that Marlena wanted him… and this time she knew it. “I… can… explain…” She stammered, as Roman approached the bed.
“Yeah? Well it had better be good, woman… you have done this to me one to many times…” Roman threatened. John pushed his chair back in frustrated rage. “Don’t you dare speak to her like that…” he seethed. He looked like he was going to take Roman out there and then.
He was brought back to reality by the sensation of Marlena’s cool hand on his, and the sound of her calming voice. “John… please…he has a right to be upset with me…”
“But he doesn’t have a right to talk to you like that…” John glanced at Marlena and then at Roman.
“Oh for fucks sake John… we all know that you want my wife in your bed. I fucking have a right to talk any way I want to her…”
“OK Brady… outside… NOW…” John demanded as he headed toward the door, waiting for Roman to accept his challenge.“It would be my pleasure to beat you to a pulp, Black. We’ll see who Marlena wants after she sees you splattered on the sidewalk, huh?”
Marlena watched as they moved towards the door. “John. Roman… you can’t do this… please?” she pleaded, but neither of them listened to her. At the top of her lungs she screamed. “IF YOU DO THIS… I WILL NEVER BE WITH EITHER OF YOU…”
Both John and Roman turned and rushed over towards her, but she moved away from their hands which grabbed for her. “John… I need to talk to Roman…” There was a finality in her tone, which told them both that from now on Marlena was in control. John hung his head and left the room, turning to look at her before he shut the door. “Doc, I’m sorry…”
“Just go…” Marlena sighed as she heard the door click behind him, and taking a deep breath, she turned to Roman.
“What do you mean you choose him?” Roman’s eyes and mouth were wide open as he repeated her statement.
“Roman… you were just away too long. I fell in love with John… I can’t just pretend that it didn’t happen…and neither should you…” Marlena tried to explain. The tears ran down her face as she broke her husband’s heart. At one time she had loved him so much that she had thought she couldn’t live without him… and for that, she cried.
“You loved him because he was ME! You don’t know what you are saying, honey! You are just confused…” Roman grasped Marlena’s face in his hands and forced her to look at him.
“NO… I’m not confused. Finally I know what I want… and Roman… I wish I didn’t have to tell you like this… I wish that things could have been different… I just… don’t… love you… not like I used to…” She looked into his eyes, which were filled with such betrayal. “You… lied to me. You let me believe that you loved me. I was going to leave, and you begged me to stay…” His tone was incredulous, and then he smiled knowingly and icily as a thought came to him. “You thought that you had lost him… I was your second choice. All this time… you played me…”
“No, no, no… Roman, it wasn’t like that. You have to understand! I wanted to make it work… I tried to make it work. But I realise now that I can’t hide my feelings for John… and I can’t stay away from him… I’m sorry…”
Marlena turned her face away to block out the betrayal that she knew he was feeling. She wasn’t prepared for what happened next. “NO… I’m going to make you remember our love…” Roman took her chin in his hand, and pulled her roughly towards him. His lips met hers, and Marlena felt his tongue probing her mouth, begging for access. She wanted to be able to indulge him for one last kiss, but the thought of kissing any man but John, almost made her physically sick. She opened her mouth and let him explore for just a brief moment. Then she pulled away. “Roman… I’m sorry… I just can’t. It’s over between us.”
“I’m going to kill him… I am going to KILL that BASTARD!!!!” Roman stood up and paced the room like a caged animal. Marlena glanced at him in fear… not for herself, but for John. She allowed her sobs to grow in intensity and she pleaded with him, hoping that the love that Roman felt for her, would entice him to listen. “Please… you can’t hurt him… please? It’s not John’s fault… it’s mine…”
****************************
John could hear her sobs from the hallway. He dropped the
flowers that he had in his hands and started running towards her room as fast as his legs could carry her. If that bastard hurt her, he thought, as he neared her room. I will kill him with my own bare hands.
He paused outside her room to catch his breath and he gazed at her through the window. She was sobbing uncontrollably, and Roman was nowhere to be seen. He opened the door and stepped in, his eyes never leaving her shaking form.
Marlena heard the door open and she looked up. She let out a strangled cry as Roman waited behind the door frame. “John… look out…” John turned just in time to see Roman as he swung a lamp at his head. He raised his arm and managed to cop the force of the blow in his shoulder. “You fucking bastard. You fucked my wife… and now somehow… you fucking convinced her that she loves you…” Roman was livid, as he came towards John, his fists clenched in front of his body. Before John could even react, Roman dealt a powerful blow to his temple. He staggered backwards, and took a moment to get his bearings. Then he moved towards Roman, his fists raised in defence. “There is no crime in what we did… Marlena and I fell in love! You left her… god only knows where you were for six years… Of course she was going to move on…” He blocked Roman, as he took another swing at him.
“John… please?” John became aware of Marlena’s frightened voice from the other side of the room. He turned to look at her, and in doing so, he momentarily let his guard down. Before he could react Roman screamed, “If I can’t have her… then neither can you. I’m going to fucking kill you…” and his fist contacted John’s face with a force that sent him crashing into the floor.
Marlena watched the scene in sheer terror. She couldn’t take her eyes off John as he went crashing to the floor. She swung her legs off the bed, and called his name, determined to reach him… to see if he was okay. But her legs would not cooperate with her and she felt herself falling, calling John’s name as she hit the floor.
John groaned as he heard Marlena’s body hit the floor. Caroline and Shawn had heard the commotion and were dealing with the livid Roman, and John pulled himself off the floor and made his way over to where Marlena lay on the ground, sobbing into the floor. “Marlena… it’s okay… are you okay?” He asked concernedly, as he gathered her up into his arms.
He placed her into bed, and pulled the covers up around her, stroking her face as she gazed up at him. “I thought that he was going to kill you… I thought… Oh John… I never want to lose you…” Marlena reached up and touched his face, her thumb brushing over the purple bruise that had formed over his left temple. “Does it hurt much?” she asked quietly. John grasped her hand and stopped its movements. Then he brought her palm to his lips and kissed it for long moments. “It’s fine honey… I’m more concerned about you! Roman… did he hurt you?” His eyes travelled her body, as if to determine where she had been hurt.“No… I don’t think he would ever hurt me. I told him something you know… he has a right to be hurt… I told him that I love you…” Marlena watched as John looked up and his eyes met hers. He was in disbelief, and his mouth hung open.
“You… you… love…” he started to speak, but Marlena cut him off.
“I love you… I will always love you…” She sat up and placed her head on his shoulder, letting her face nuzzle into his neck. “Hold me please?” John’s arms encircled her small body, and he crushed her into his embrace. “I love you too, baby. I have never stopped!” He kissed the top of her head over and over again as they savoured the feeling of being in each other’s arms.
His eyes were bloodshot by the time he reached the pub. In one hand he clutched a half-empty bottle of vodka, and in the other was a black negligee.
“You…” He pointed to the blonde woman. “Get in here!” Her eyes opened widely. She had been wondering when Roman Brady would come back. She was excited, yet indignant at the same time. Rough sex with him was so pleasurable… she only wished that he would stop thinking of his wife when he fucked her.
Roman grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the back room, throwing the negligee at her. The few patrons of the room watched interestedly, as they smoked their cigars in the corners.
“Put that on…” He demanded roughly. She held it up in front of her and screwed up her face in distaste. “I am not wearing your wife’s lingerie. Jesus Roman…” She tossed it back at him, curled up into a ball.
“You’ll put it on, scrag… if you know what is good for you…” Roman rubbed the bulge that had formed between his legs… that had almost been unrelenting since Marlena’s return. He unzipped his pants and let his manhood spring out, reeking of his arousal.
The woman lifted her skirt, to reveal that she was wearing nothing underneath. Roman couldn’t wait any longer… he need a screw. He approached her and slammed her against the pool table, entering her roughly, slamming his eyes shut as he imagined that it was Marlena. He had always wanted to fuck Marlena like she was his whore… but she had never seemed into it. Roman slammed in and out of the woman as he visualised the tape of John and Marlena… the way her body had moved so sensually. “Fuck Marlena… I’m going to give it to you…” He felt the woman’s hands pushing on his shoulders and he pulled out of her, opening his eyes to see hers flashing. “Fuck you Roman Brady. Why don’t you go fuck HER? Or won’t she have you?” His temper flaring, Roman raised his hand and slammed it into her face.
Then re-zipping his pants, Roman realised that she was right! He would just have to MAKE Marlena realise that she wanted him. He couldn’t stand the thought of Marlena acting the whore for John… he would just have to make her his.
********************
John sat on the narrow bed, with Marlena tucked securely in his arms. Her eyes were closed and her breathing deep and even as she allowed herself to relax for the first time in weeks. The last time she had felt this calm was in the moments after she and John had made love… they had laid in each others arms just like this.
“John…” she murmured against his chest, and her hand caressed his neck. “Mmmmm…” John buried his mouth in her hair and inhaled deeply. He let his eyes open as he waited for her to talk.“You were going to leave me… how could you do that?” Her tone wasn’t accusing, but full of apprehension and sadness. John pulled back and lifted her face with his hands, forcing her to look up at him. “I did it because I love you… I did it because I wanted you to be happy… I thought that you would be happy with Roman…” John kissed her forehead, as she breathed a sigh of relief, and rested against his chest again, her body fatigued and her mind numb… yet deliriously happy. “I would never be happy with Roman. I should have realised that…” She ran her manicured nails up and down John’s chest, clad only in a thin cotton t-shirt, and she sighed when he took a deep, shaky breath. Her lips found his neck, and she placed tiny kisses along his skin, travelling up to his defined jaw line. It was so gentle and so tender, and soon John found himself caressing Marlena’s upper arms and back. Then, blindly grasping for her face, John pulled her lips up to his. The moments before their lips were to meet were agonisingly slow. With eyes filled with lust Marlena and John gazed intensely at one other, as they came closer and closer together. Their breathing mingled and the static passed between their feverish lips… but before they could meet, a knock at the door broke the magical moment.
“Dinner time…” A cheery woman brought in a tray of hospital food, and at once John felt Marlena tense up. “I don’t want it…”
She spoke too quickly, and alarm bells sounded in John’s mind. He rubbed her back soothingly, and motioned to the woman to leave it there. After she had exited, John spoke. “Marlena… you have to keep your strength up. Please… won’t you eat it?” Her eyes met his, and John was alarmed when he saw the fear that shone through. “I… I… can’t…” She gazed downwards, and pushed the tray away. “Tell me why… please? At least tell me what has you so scared… If you trust me… please just tell me?” He knew that he sounded desperate, but he needed to be able to help her.
Marlena opened her mouth to tell him that she couldn’t confide in him, but the love shining out of his eyes, and the way his hand gently caressed her shoulder, made her stop before the words could escape. Slow tears fell from her eyes and she reached beside her to retrieve her diary. She found the pages that she was looking for and handed it to him.
I spent the whole day vomiting today. And when I wasn’t vomiting, I was sleeping… restless, dream-filled sleep. At first I thought that maybe I was pregnant, but as far as I can ascertain, nobody has touched me in that way since I have been here… it sickens me to even consider the possibility of Orpheus taking advantage of me while I was comatose.
He smiled at me all day as he watched me in my pain… seeming to delight in it. And then he offered me food as the remains of my breakfast left my stomach. And suddenly it hit me… Orpheus was drugging me. That’s why he was offering me more food.
As he held out the lunch tray to me… I slammed my fist underneath it, upsetting it, and spilling hot soup all over his white shirt. He backhanded me… hard… and then smiled sweetly as he left the room, all the while chuckling to himself.
**********************
I know that I should eat… I know that I need food to survive. But I just can’t bring myself to do it… every time I try to eat a mouthful… I end up throwing it up. I think that he has turned me off food for life. It was like psychological blackmail. After a while, Orpheus would bring the food, each time promising that it wasn’t poisoned. Sometimes I was so hungry that I would decide to take a chance on eating it… but as I placed my fork to my mouth and took the first bite, he would laugh cruelly and tell me that it was poisoned and that he had lied. I spat out many a mouthful… worried that he would try to kill me…or to put me to sleep. And now, I am getting more and more paranoid about eating anything. Getting the food to my mouth is the hardest step… my hands shake and my heart pounds… and I tell myself that it is over… that Orpheus has gone, but I still find myself fighting with the side of me that still remains under Orpheus’s spell…
John looked up at Marlena with tears in his eyes, and he pulled her close to him. “Oh god Doc… I am so sorry! I should have been there… I should have been protecting you!”
“How could you have?” His heart broke at the childlike tone of her voice, and with the pads of his thumbs, he wiped away the large tears that spilled from her eyes. “We’ll get through this… I promise you…” Marlena nodded, and smiled wanly as John brought the tray of food in front of her. He lifted the lid.
“Hmmmm, what should we try? Chicken?” Marlena screwed up her nose playfully as she glanced at the plate that he held up. “OK… I guess that was a no…” He took a forkful and spooned it into his mouth, then he screwed up his face in mock horror. “Good choice… how about… fruit and yoghurt?” He looked up at her expectantly.
Marlena pushed her lips out into a pout. “You are really going to make me eat that?” she whined.
“Please? I’ll help you…” John spoke seriously now, and he was relieved when she nodded. “OK… but only for YOU…” John settled back onto the bed, and pulled her into his arms so that her back was pressed against his chest.
“Hope you’re willing to share…” John took a spoonful and placed it into his mouth. Then he took another one. “You ready?”
Marlena took a deep breath as she leaned back into the safety of his arms.
She felt her heart pounding as John moved the spoon closer and closer to her mouth. She tried to be brave, as he whispered into her ear… and she felt somewhat calmed to know that he was right there with her. Just as the spoon was about to enter her mouth, she turned her face away. Her body shook so much and she started to cry. “I just can’t do it…” She was angry at herself and she swiped the tears from her eyes violently. John grabbed her thrashing body and crushed it to him, to still her movements.
He placed his lips on her ear and he whispered to her. “Honey, I told you that I would help you… it’s okay.” He kissed her earlobe and then brushed his lips over her face. “Lets try again…” he murmured. He turned so that he was half facing her, and looking into her eyes he brought the spoon to her mouth. Marlena was so lost in his gaze that she allowed him to feed her, and her mouth closed around the spoon. As soon as she closed her mouth, she panicked and John caught the fear in her eyes. “Come on baby, just relax… calm down…” He rubbed her shoulders, and watched in triumph as she swallowed, her eyes tightly closed.
“I did it?” Marlena opened her eyes and smiled as she realised what had just happened. John nodded and laughed, as she burst into a fit of happy giggles. “I did it… John… I did it…”
“Yes… you did…” Marlena moved in and placed her lips uponJohn’s. What started as an excited peck, soon became passionate, as their mouths opened, and their tongues went in search of each other. They found themselves lost in the kiss, as throaty moans sounded from deep within their throats, and for a moment in time, John and Marlena were the only people in the world. Hands were everywhere, caressing, scratching, grasping… and every touch sent them further and further into an uncontrollable ecstasy.
Finally, John pulled back and rested his forehead againstMarlena’s. “We have to stop…” he explained, as she looked up at him, her eyes both disappointed and filled with desire. “What… why?” She ran her hands through the hair on the back of his neck. “Because… you are not strong enough! We don’t need to do this now… there will be plenty of time for that when I get you out of here…” John winked at her to lighten the mood.
“Besides, I need to get some more food into you…” He held up the spoon, and placed it against her lips. “Open wide…” They both giggled as the movement caused the fruit to spill down Marlena’s chin. Without thinking, John leaned forwards and sensually sucked the liquid from her creamy skin. Their mouths again met in a passionate frenzy. “Oh… god… we have to stop doing this…” John groaned as he pulled away, feeling the effects of these passionate trysts down below. “You drive me crazy…”
“Hey buddy… I’m not the one who licked the fruit off me. That was all your doing…” Marlena smiled, and waited for the next mouthful.
When she was finished, they sat together in contented bliss. Marlena reached up and stroked the deep purple bruise that had formed on John’s temple, and asked him if he was feeling okay.
“Never better, Doc… I’m with you…” He noticed as she yawned and her eyes became glazed with sleepiness. “Time for you to go to sleep…” He smiled as he made a move to get off the bed.
“Don’t go…” She grabbed for him before he could. “Stay with me…”
“I’ll sit right here… all night! I promise, I’m not going anywhere…” John kissed Marlena’s forehead.
“I want you to hold me…” She moved over to make room for John, and he crawled in beside her, realising at that moment, how tired he was. He put his arms around her and waited until she fell asleep. Then, placing a kiss into her hair, he followed her into dreamland.
He knew that he was taking a risk by being there. But Orpheus could no longer stay away from her. He was drawn to Marlena like a moth to a flame… and now he had started to have problems controlling his urges to be near her. Orpheus couldn’t be sure when his feelings for Marlena had started to change. At first he had kidnapped her as a way of getting back at Roman Brady for shooting his wife. But then… as he had spent more time with her, he had begun to envy the love that she felt for another. She had taken so long to crack… and even at the end, Marlena’s strength had remained buried deeply inside of her. There was something about her strength that he wanted to savour… as he broke it! And he wanted her to put up a fight when he finally allowed himself to touch her. His release would be well worth the wait.
Orpheus reached over and stroked Marlena’s cheek and she sighed and turned into John’s arms, burying her head in his neck. “I love you…” She murmured against his skin. Orpheus felt himself grow hard, as he watched her. Somehow he was fascinated that even during sleep, her love for John shone through. He watched as John stirred, frozen to the spot, his heart pounding against his chest as he refused to move. There was something so exciting in the thrill of the chase. John would kill Orpheus in a moment if he caught him anywhere near her… not like that wimp, Roman Brady. Orpheus smiled as he congratulated Marlena for making the right choice. Only now… it would take much more work to get her alone.
*****************************
Marlena watched him as he slept… his eyes closed, his breathing so peaceful. His arms were wrapped around her and Marlena couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this warm and this contented. She moved slightly, and smiled as John’s arms tightened around her. Even in his sleep he protected her. She smiled at the woman who brought in her breakfast tray and placed her index finger on her lips to motion her to remain quiet. She mouthed her thanks as the woman walked out of the room.
Marlena traced her hand over John’s handsome features, from his dark spiky hair, to his defined jaw bone, to the bit of stubble that had gathered on his chin for the past couple of days. She couldn’t help herself, and ran her hands over his chest, finding the bottom of his shirt and sliding them underneath it, wanting to feel his bare skin on hers. Then she leaned down and placed tiny kisses over his face.
John was in heaven as Marlena attacked him with her lips. He tried not to smile and alert her to the fact that he was awake… he was enjoying this sweet seduction far too much. Her hands on his skin was causing goose bumps, and John delighted in the fact that she wanted this… and she loved him. He loved waking up to the woman of his dreams evoking these responses in him. He laced his hands through her hair and Marlena was stunned and gasped as he brought her lips down to his. Their passion quickly became escalated as their tongues delved into each other’s mouths, and John found his hands massaging Marlena’s breasts through the soft material of her nightgown.
She pulled back before things could get too heated. “I don’t think we should do this here…” She panted. Her mind told her that it wouldn’t be right to make love to John… when anybody could walk in at any time. But her body begged for his touch. “You’re right!” John nodded and he kissed her gently on the lips. Then he pulled her back into his arms and they lay there for a moment indulging in each other. “God it felt good to wake up beside you this morning… with your lips on my face…”
John noticed the tray of food and he realised how hungry he
was. Marlena followed his gaze and then looked at him interestedly as he spoke. “So… you feel like sharing?” He winked as he brought the tray over towards them. He lifted the lid and viewed the contents. He reached for the piece of toast, but Marlena slapped his hand away. “Hey buster… get your own…”
She picked up the toast playfully. “Oh but…” John assaulted Marlena’s underarms with his fingers, causing her to giggle uncontrollably. She dropped the toast and John snatched it up and took a huge bite before she could react. He noticed her looking at him, appalled at his lack of manners. He smiled a cheesy grin, full of stray bits of toast, and tried to hold it in as they both laughed. He held the toast up to Marlena’s mouth, and for a moment he saw the flash of doubt cross her face. She smiled at him, and she took a small bite, smiling as she realised that she could. When she had swallowed the mouthful, she grabbed the rest from John’s hand, and began to eat it. “I knew you could do it baby…” John winked as one hand covered her abdomen and started to caress it.
Marlena sighed and pushed the tray of food away, and leaned back into John. She gasped when she felt his lips on her neck and then her shoulder. Shifting her position in the bed, Marlena turned to face John, straddling his waist as he gazed up at her adoringly and with eyes filled with lust. “Marlena…” he spoke warningly as her hands moved downwards and she cupped his manhood in them. Then she started to slowly massage the area, and she smiled seductively as she felt it come to life beneath her skilled hands, and as John began to shudder, trying to will himself to ignore it. “We can’t… you aren’t ready…” he managed to stutter out.
Her hands left his pants, and John sighed in relief. He wouldn’t have been able to resist Marlena for much longer. He groaned as she ran her nails along his chest and purred in a desirous tone… “Oh baby, I’m more than ready…” As if to prove her point, Marlena ground herself into him. Then leaning down, she took his mouth with hers.
***********************************
Roman viewed the scene before him with disgust. He wiped his mouth, and pushed his hair back into some kind of order. He held the black negligee in his hands, still scrunched up into a ball, and he still reeked of alcohol and his own vomit. He couldn’t believe that he had collapsed in the street last night. He had been on his way to the hospital to find Marlena… and the next thing he knew, he was waking up in the curb, his vomit and empty whisky bottle the evidence of his drunken stupor.
He was enraged as he watched John kissing Marlena… touching her like he owned her. And he couldn’t even believe her… the way she sat on top of him… the way she moved… Roman knew that he had to have a sample of that side of her.
*******************
John ran his hands along Marlena’s thighs, pushing the material of her hospital gown up above her hips. He smiled lustfully up at her, as she took a deep breath. Then he saw the clean, white bandage that covered her abdomen, and John pulled back, remembering the accident just a few days ago.
“What? No… why are you stopping?” Marlena questioned with a disappointed tone. “John… please? I want you…” she whispered, trailing off as her eyes found an occupation… of gazing at his rock-hard arm muscles. Her fingernails ran seductively over his chest. John almost caved in to her, but with all of his strength, he pulled back and removed himself from the bed.
“Stay right here,” he demanded huskily, pressing his lips against her cheek. “I’m going to go and get us a PROPER breakfast. None of this hospital food for my baby…” Marlena smiled and watched him intently as he walked to the door.
“Don’t be long!”
“I won’t.” John came back over to the bed and placed his lips on hers, unable to resist doing so. “I love you,” he whispered, as if he still couldn’t believe that he was finally free to say that to her. He placed his forehead against hers. “It feels so good to be able to say that to you…” he breathed, and Marlena smiled. “It does, doesn’t it? I love you too, John Black!”
As John retreated from the room, Marlena sighed contentedly and relaxed back into the bed, closing her tired eyes as she thought about John and awaited his return.
Now was his chance. Roman watched as John left Marlena’s room, and dragged himself up off the floor where he was sitting, still in a drunken stupor.
He closed the door to Marlena’s room as he entered it. “John…”
She spoke drowsily. “Baby, I thought you were getting us breakfast…” Roman felt his heart stop when he heard the endearment coming from her lips. It enraged him further to think that those words were meant for John.
He rubbed his semi-hard cock as he stood at the end of the bed, watching Marlena as she shifted slightly, half-way between the dream world and reality. “Mmmmm John…” She muttered, obviously fantasising about him.
Angrily, Roman unzipped his pants and pulled his erection out of them. He didn’t want to take the chance of completely undressing, for fear that John would come back and find him there. He walked beside her, his manhood protruding as it oozed with his arousal, running his hands lightly up her body as he did so. “John…” she murmured, sighing heavily, her eyes still closed. “Baby…mmmm don’t stop!”
“I don’t plan to.” Marlena’s eyes snapped open as she heard Roman’s voice. For a moment she was confused as he stood beside her, and she looked up at him with eyes that wanted to trust him. “Roman…” Her eyes made their way down his body, to where Roman was stroking his arousal. She gasped in shock when she realised what he was doing. “Suck it baby…” He pushed it closer to her head and when she pulled back, he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her towards him so that her mouth touched him. “Open up… I want you to suck my cock like the slut that you are…” Marlena found her strength as she listened with fear, as Roman tried to force himself into her mouth. She slapped him hard across the face, and Roman pulled back, his eyes flashing and his fists clenched. He moved atop her before she could even react, and suddenly, Marlena began to feel a terror unlike any other… the terror of being so violated by someone you loved. “Roman… what are you…? Jesus Roman…” She could smell the stench that oozed from his very pores… of cigarette smoke, and stale alcohol and day-old vomit. It took almost all the strength of will that Marlena possessed to stop herself from being physically sick.
“I’m just taking what is rightfully mine…” he growled, as he grabbed her face so that she would look at him. Her body struggled beneath him.
“Roman… I am not yours. Please… don’t do this?” She pleaded with him, as she started to feel the terrified tears fall down her cheeks.
Roman merely smiled and ground his erection into her, and Marlena winced in pain. He was pressing it right against her wound.
“Roman… my wound…” She hoped that he would come to his senses when he heard her desperation, but it only seemed to make him more determined and more forceful. “Didn’t seem to worry you when you were on top of John this morning,” he taunted, as he ripped the hospital gown from her body. His eyes roamed her heaving, naked flesh. “You’ve turned into quite the little SLUT, haven’t you?” He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her down onto the bed, her legs pinned beneath his so that she would stop thrashing. “You’ve turned into his whore! If only I had have known all those years ago what you were up for… we could have had SO much more fun…” Marlena was sobbing uncontrollably, trying to block out his taunting remarks and the feeling of him atop her… poising to violate her in the worst possible way.
“Oh god… stop… please John… come back…” Raising his hand, Roman brought it crashing down onto her face. “John is not going to save you… not this time! And until you start showing me how much of a little fucking SLUT that you can be… I will take you again and again and again! Either way you WILL be mine!” He grabbed her breasts and began to squeeze them… each squeeze more brutal than the last… until Marlena felt that they would fall off.
Then the biting started… her lips, her neck, her body. She felt like she would faint at the brutality of it all, as her sobs and hoarse screams sounded again and again and again, muffled by Roman’s hand covering her mouth. She felt his fingers grasp her centre and his curse as he slapped her across the face again. “You’re not even fucking wet… you’d better do something about that, woman,” he demanded.
“Fuck off,” Marlena screamed, not caring what the consequences would be.
“Oh well… This way it will just hurt more. I am determined to have you as my slut… willing and eager and gagging for it…” Roman taunted her as he poised himself at her entrance and got ready to thrust.
***********************
John couldn’t even believe it as he ran up the hallway and caught the end of Roman’s last comment. He had known that something was wrong from the moment he had arrived back at the hospital… His already fast pace had quickened to a run as he clutched the strawberries and cream that he had purchased in hishands. He gazed into the room in the split second before he reacted. He could hear her muffled screams through a hoarse voice, and he could see the tears that cascaded down her cheeks. John tried the door desperate to get to her, but it was locked. He moved backwards in order to get some leverage and then, using his shoulder, he slammed into the heavy wood, not pausing as the door gave way under his weight.
It all happened so quickly. In an instant, John was at Marlena’s bedside, his face as red as the sun, his eyes flashing almost wildly. He grabbed Roman by the back of his shirt and tore him off her, flinging his body against the nearby wall as if he were a puppet. “You fucking BASTARD…” He screamed, grinding out the words between clenched teeth. He paused for only a moment as Marlena gathered her limbs up and curled herself into a tight ball. Then John turned his attention back to Roman, and he grabbed the man by the throat and slammed him back against the wall. “How dare you touch her…” He seethed. “Hey buddy… there’s more than enough to go around! After all, she is practically begging for it…” Roman sneered, and his gleaming eyes taunted John.
John pulled his fist backwards and then brought it crashing into Roman’s jaw, watching as he again slumped backwards. Again and again he laid into him, his satisfaction rising as blood spilled from the force of his blows. Roman couldn’t fight back. John was possessed with a super-human strength as he dealt him blow after blow… and Roman’s still-intoxicated state did not help matters. All that he could do was groan as John’s blows came. With one final punch, Roman’s face hit the wall with a thud, and he went sliding to the floor of the room, his blood smearing the crisp white paint.
Suddenly John remembered Marlena, and almost instantly her terrorised cries reached his ears. He turned away from Roman’s limp body and looked at her, his heart breaking at the sight of her, naked, and bruised and battered. He reached her in the next moment, and picking up a clean blanket, he wrapped it around her shivering body, and then pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry honey… I should never have left you.” He kissed her hair as Marlena turned her face into him, letting it rest against his neck. “You would never…” she began but John stopped her, knowing what she was going to say before she had to. “I would NEVER hurt you like that. I promise, baby! From now on I will be here with you every single moment…”
He was so wrapped up in comforting her, that John didn’t even notice Roman, as he slowly and silently staggered to his feet. Now John, Marlena will be MINE, Roman chuckled to himself as he lifted the heavy heart monitor from the shelf beside him. Then bringing it down, Roman slammed it into John’s head… and watched in satisfaction as John’s body hit the floor.
*******************
“She will never agree to it. She will never let john Black rot in jail… not for a crime that he hasn’t committed. As soon as Marlena wakes up, she is going to expose me…” Roman felt his heart pounding in his chest as he thought about what would most likely happen when Marlena came to. He looked at Orpheus, who stood in the room with him, waiting patiently for Marlena to wake. “You gave her a good blow on the head. It might take her a while to wake up. You need to just listen to me… you need to just listen to my plan…” Orpheus smiled to himself. This was way too easy… Roman Brady had become putty in his hands. As soon as Orpheus had seen what was going on in this very room, just a few hours ago, he had known that he would be. Somehow Orpheus admired Roman for at least trying to get what he wanted… by trying to take Marlena against her will. It was what he had longed to do himself for such a long time.
“Roman, have you gone mad?” Marlena screamed, her eyes wild, her face almost transparent, as she wrenched her aching body off the bed and straddled John. He lay on the floor of the hospital room, his head bleeding heavily. “John… John…” she cried, placing her hand over the gash in his forehead, in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Tears seeped from her eyes, of anguish, and of pain, and of a fear for his life. “John… you can’t leave me… you just can’t…” She choked out between sobs, taking his face in her hands and trying to will him to open his beautiful eyes and look at her. Panicking at the greyish shade that his face had become, Marlena’s fingers found John’s neck and felt desperately for a pulse. She sobbed in relief as she found one… weak, but still there. “John… come on… don’t do this to me. I need you… I need you to protect me… I love you…” She lay her face down on his chest, covered by his light blue shirt and her hands grasped his collar, her tears pouring out to soak the material.
Marlena looked up just in time to see Roman… standing over her, with a look of complete and utter madness on his distorted features. In the split second before he brought the heart monitor down to knock her out, Marlena wondered how she had missed this side of him before, how she had managed to convince herself that he was a good man. She felt and heard the crash of the blow that would take her away from reality for a short while.
“Sorry Marlena,” Roman said aloud, as she slumped into his arms. “I can’t let you be with John… you are MINE!” He dragged her over to the bed and lifted her onto it, and like a devoted husband he cradled her in his arms, forcing himself to cry as he called out for help.
****************************
Marlena’s head ached as she slowly opened her eyes, the light of the day almost too bright for her pained senses. For a moment she couldn’t remember what had happened to her… all she was aware of, was the throbbing pain in her head, and an uneasy feeling that something was wrong. She opened her mouth to speak… to call for John to come to her… until she heard voices, which brought the memories rushing back. Her heart filled with dread and her mind replayed all that had happened.
“You have to threaten her… you have to make sure that she won’t talk… then you go from there…” Orpheus spoke calmly, and Marlena felt sick to the stomach. Her eyes searched out the voices in the room, but she was careful not to move so as not to alert them to the fact that she was awake. “She won’t buy it. There is no threat that could make Marlena agree to this plan of yours…” Roman ran a frustrated hand through hair that dripped with sweat. He spoke through clenched teeth.
“What does Marlena love more than anything else?” Orpheus questioned, with an evil gleam in his eyes. He noticed thatRoman’s eyes blazed and his fists clenched and unclenched in rage. He was quick to clarify. “Besides John…”
Roman’s eyes lit up and he laughed as he answered. “Her children… I have wanted to teach those little shit’s a lesson ever since I returned to Salem… especially Samantha… Orpheus, you are a genius…”
Marlena’s blood boiled as she heard the conversation, and just the sound of Roman talking about THEIR children like that caused her to crack. “You BASTARD…” she screamed manically, the tears running from her eyes as Roman rushed towards her. “They are your kids too… how can you even THINK about hurting them?” she sobbed, struggling fruitlessly against his arms which crushed her into him. He placed his hand over Marlena’s mouth to stop her from screaming, and then he hissed into her ear.
“Those brats are no longer mine… they hate me… and I hate them. I would have no qualms in hurting them Marlena, I wouldn’t doubt that if I were you. If you know what’s good for you… I would shut up right now…”
Marlena looked into his eyes and knew that Roman was serious. When she spoke, it was in a childlike voice. “What do you want from me?” She turned away in disgust as Roman ran his hand down her cheek and continued down her body until he reached her breast. “Apart from the obvious…” he started, letting his hand squeeze the roundness of her flesh. Marlena bit her lip, the tears slowly falling from her eyes. “I want you to keep your mouth shut about what happened here before…”
“When you tried to RAPE me, you mean?” Marlena spat. Then suddenly she realised something. Her eyes opened widely and pleadingly she looked up at Roman. “John…” she whispered.
“Please tell me that he is okay… tell me you didn’t kill him…”
Roman chuckled as he prepared to drop the bombshell on her.
“What happened in here?” The Police officer stepped over John’s limp body as he looked at Roman cradling Marlena. Roman took a deep breath, and smiled inwardly as he realised that his tears were working. “He… I found him… he was raping her… the bastard was raping my wife. Oh god… Marlena…” Roman clutched her tightly to him, his entire body shaking as he played his part to a tee. “She trusted him… we both trusted him. If only I had known… I would never have left her alone with him…”
Roman made a show of refusing to let Marlena go, as the doctors and nurses surrounded him, trying to pry her from his arms. “Come on, Captain Brady… we need to look at her. We need to treat her injuries…” they urged, and reluctantly Roman let Marlena go.
Once the room had cleared, both John and Marlena taken away to be treated, the Police Officer questioned Roman, who sat with his head in his hands, the picture of absolute sorrow and grief. “Is she going to be okay?” He asked no one in particular.
“Sir… I understand that your wife is being treated… but I really need to ask… I need to determine what actually happened here…”
The young constable was nervous as he questioned the infamous Roman Brady, best Captain that the Salem PD had ever had.
“He tried to RAPE MY WIFE…” Roman cried, his body shaking as he looked up. “It couldn’t be any clearer.” His head sunk to his hands again, before he mumbled his apology.
“Please Captain Brady, can you tell me exactly what happened? I know that this is hard…”
Roman nodded. “I only left the room for a few minutes. When I came back I could hear her screaming his name… I knew that she was in pain… I knew that something terrible was happening. I ran to the room… and that’s when I saw it. John was on top of her… and she was crying and screaming. He was biting her and hitting her across the face… oh god, why couldn’t I have gotten here
sooner?”
“What happened after that? What did you do?” The Policeman probed gently.
“I… um… I was so mad. I grabbed him and screamed at him. But I had been drinking and he was so worked up. He threw me against the wall, and belted into me. All I could think about was Marlena and how if he knocked me out, that she would suffer… I think the noise of her screaming was too much for him. He smashed her over the head with the heart monitor…” Roman paused, running through the events in his mind, making sure that his story was believable. “Then I rushed at him… I just saw red. I would have killed him if I had the chance… for what he did to her. I thought that he had killed her. I wrestled the heart monitor from him, and then I hit him… and he fell… that’s where he landed.”
*******************************
John knew that he had to try again. He was so worried about Marlena… so worried that he was shaking in fear. His head throbbed from where Roman had knocked him out… and he had been told to rest, but John couldn’t think about his own pain… Marlena’s safety was too important to him. John couldn’t even imagine what Roman planned to do to Marlena after knocking John out… but he feared that he would try to finish what he had started before John had interrupted. He feared that Roman would rape Marlena… and if that happened, he couldn’t imagine how she would ever get over it. He stood up and paced the small jail cell where he had been placed like a common criminal. He walked over to the bars and grabbed them, rattling them loudly so as to get the attention of the prison guard. “What do you want, Black?” The officer spoke as he stopped at John’s cell. “Did you find out? Is she okay?” John pleaded with the man as his hands gripped the bars tighter, his knuckles white. The officer only sneered.
“No thanks to you…”
“You have to make sure she is okay. You have to stop him… he will hurt her…”
“Just shut up Black… I don’t have time for this…” John slumped back onto the hard bed in his cell, as the officer strode away.
*********************************
“How could you?” Marlena held her hands over her mouth, the tears poured down her face for what seemed like the millionth time since her return. She had thought that everything would get better once she had made her decision… what she hadn’t factored in was the thought that Roman could become as evil as Orpheus. She looked up into his eyes searching for some hint of regret or compassion, but she saw none. Nothing but malice in those once warm eyes. Instinctively her body curled away from him, her hands clutching piles of blankets over her body.
“How…?”
“How? You ask me how?” Roman laughed as if she had gone mad. “He took you from me… he turned you into a sex maniac… a slut. I wanted that, I wanted what you never gave me… you never moved like that for me… you never ever took me in your mouth unless I begged you to, and even then it was only for a moment. I want to make him pay for having what I never had… Marlena the SLUT!” Marlena drew back her hand and brought it’s palm down on his face as hard as she could. Her eyes flashed in anger… not so much about what he had said about her, but about what he said about John.
“How dare you say those things to me? John didn’t make me do anything that I didn’t want to do… how would you know what John and I did anyway?” Her jaw was set in stubborn rage. And for the moment, she was no longer afraid of him… not for what he would do to her.
“I saw you on the tape remember? I was subjected to the PORN that was you and John having a good old FUCK!” Roman clenched and unclenched his fist. His mind raced with images of Marlena with John… and for the moment he forgot how turned on it had made him to see Marlena’s body moving like it had. “Come on, deny it… tell me that you never sucked his cock…” Roman taunted, his mind more becoming more and more enraged at the thought.
Marlena was indignant. Suddenly all of the pain went away. It was show down time, and she knew that what she said now would make her or break her. Her lips curled upwards into a malicious smile. “You really want to know? You really want to know how I rode him… how I let him come into my mouth…” She couldn’t even believe the things that were coming out of her mouth, but she couldn’t help herself. Marlena was livid… and she wanted to make Roman suffer for what he had done to her… and to John… and to the kids.
“Well you are a little slut, aren’t you?” Roman’s voice was dangerously quiet. Isabella could hear it from the doorway of the hospital room. She had come here, to try to find John… to try to explain to him that she hadn’t done anything wrong. But instead she had found this.
Isabella couldn’t lie and pretend that she wasn’t glad that Marlena was finally getting what she deserved… but at the same time, her heart twinged with guilt for feeling that way. Marlena was a nice woman, and she really didn’t deserve to be treated like Roman’s whore. Isabella already knew of Roman’s illicit trysts down at the bar with any woman that he could find… she knew because she had followed him one night.
Isabella sighed. No woman deserved what that pig was putting Marlena through.
****************************
“Roman… please… no…” The tears poured down Marlena’s face as the words came out in strangled tones. “You can’t do this…it’s not right this way…” She struggled beneath Roman’s pinioning hands, as his face edged closer and closer to hers. “I want you to understand that you belong to ME… no one else… ME… and until you realise that, John is going to remain in that prison cell!”
His eyes glimmered evilly, as he began to squeeze Marlena’s face painfully. “Okay… okay… what do I have to do?”
****************************
If I can’t be with John, sometimes I find myself wishing that I could die. I am so scared that Roman will come back at any moment and find me writing… I am afraid of what he might do if he were to read this. But somehow I can’t stop myself… writing is the only thing that has kept me sane for the past three years, and hopefully it will be the thing that can get me through this.
I think of John in the dirty jail cell. When I picture him in my minds eye, I see dirt covering his clothing and his face… I see the dark blood seeping from the cut on his forehead… I see him sick with worry as he thinks of me. He always thinks of me. And I almost cry at the thought of John rotting in jail for raping me. A rape that he did not commit.
I want to see him… but Roman has forbidden it. That monster has given me no choice but to do what he wants. Yet my skin crawls at the thought of touching him… kissing him… being with him. I would do anything for John, and if it means sacrificing myself, then so be it. Besides, Roman knew when he concocted his plan that I could not refuse. He will have John released if I agree to be with him… in EVERY sense of the word. Oh, how my stomach churns at the mere thought. He will hurt my children if I talk to the police about what really happened… my mind is still reeling from the thought that he could hurt his own flesh and blood… but considering that he tried to rape me, right now I can believe almost anything of him.
So again, I have no choice. The only thing that I can aim for… is to distract Roman for long enough to allow me to see John. I have to see John. John will know what to do… he always does.
****************************
“John…” He looked up when he heard Isabella’s voice. “It’s me… Izzy B…”
“What are you doing here? I thought that you had been arrested…” John turned his face away, unable to look into the eyes of the woman who had tried to hurt Marlena. “John… it wasn’t me! I was finally able to prove it. I am sorry for everything… I wish that you would forgive me…” Isabella came close to the bars and placed her head onto them.
“Now is not really a good time for apologies… if you hadn’t noticed.” She shuddered at the coldness with which he addressed her. “John, please, I can make it up to you. I just saw Marlena…” His head shot up as he heard her name. “Oh god, how is she?” The anguish on his face was evident as he approached the bars.
“Tell me that she is okay…”
“She needs help. Roman… he seems to have gone crazy. He was calling her all sorts of horrible names. I want to help her… please John, tell me what I can do…”
“You want to help her?” He spoke with disbelief.
“Yes. I want to find some way to make up for what you and Marlena have been through. And I want to make up for my part in it.”
“Okay. I need you to watch over her. I need you to make sure that Roman doesn’t hurt her any more than he already has. I am sorry Izzy… I am sorry that I couldn’t be with you… but you have to believe that I did love you…”
“I know…” Isabella kissed John’s fisted hand before retreating.
John wasn’t aware of Marlena’s presence until she spoke his name. Her steps were quiet and slow and by the time she saw him, she had reached the bars of the cell that imprisoned him. Tears came to her eyes as she glimpsed him there, sitting on the rock-hard cot, his head in his hands, a white bandage covering the area where Roman had hit him.
“John…” Marlena exclaimed, her voice choking up as she did so. Her hands clutched the bars tightly as she waited for his response. It seemed like an eternity before John registered her presence, and then suddenly, he lifted his head, realising that she wasn’t just a figment of his imagination. In that moment their eyes met, both so full of pain and concern for one another, and for the situation that they found themselves in.
And in the next moment, John had reached the bars, his warm hands covering hers. “Marlena, you shouldn’t be here. You need to run… get away from him.” John’s desperation was evident, and he cringed when the sad tears started to fall faster from her eyes at his words. “Honey, I didn’t mean that I don’t want to see you. Oh god… did he hurt you? Are you okay?” John took her face in his hands through the bars and inspected it carefully for any damage. “I… I’m fine, John. I’m just worried about you…” John hardly even registered her words. His gaze had travelled to the nasty cut that had appeared on Marlena’s forehead, and the purple, swollen bruises that covered her face. “You are not fine. My god, look at what he has done to you…” John let his hands caress her face tenderly.
Marlena’s eyes fluttered closed at his calming touch, and she felt content at this moment, like things wouldn’t be as hard as she had thought. Being with John, even separated by iron bars, reassured her. She opened her eyes and stared into his, then with the hint of a smile dancing across her lips, she spoke. “Are you saying that I am ugly?” For a moment John thought that she was serious, and he began to speak… “No… oh my god, no…” Then he looked into her eyes and noticed the small smirk on her red lips, and they both laughed softly. “Seriously Marlena… I could never ever think that you were ugly. I wouldn’t even care if you had one eye… you would still be beautiful to me!” John stroked the tears that were again falling down her face. “Are you okay? Tell me what happened…” He probed gently, and Marlena clutched his hands with hers.
“He… Roman… gave me an ultimatum. He said that you can go free if I agree to be with him. And he told me that he would hurt the kids if I told anyone the truth about what he did to me, or if I tried to tell the police that you were innocent…” The blood boiled throughout John’s entire body. He wished that he could just hold Marlena and tell her that everything would be okay, but the bars that separated them made it physically impossible. “Oh honey…” he started, but he was cut off by Marlena’s impassioned speech. “Oh John… I can’t leave you in here… I HAVE to tell the police what happened. I’m just so afraid of what he will do to the kids. I have never seen him like this before… he’s crazy…”
“Marlena… hey… Doc… come on…” John did his best to calm her as she ranted, her body shaking with sobs as her hands and face became animated with emotion. John grabbed her hands and held them firmly. Then he let one hand travel to her hair and he pulled her face to the bars, resting his own face against hers as best he could. “I love you… and I know that you want to help me. But Marlena… you and the kids are the ones in danger now. Here’s what I want you to do… listen carefully okay?” Marlena gulped and nodded her head, scared yet comforted at the same time… scared for what he would say, yet comforted by the fact that John seemed to have the answers. “I need you to get the kids away from Roman… away from Salem, and away from you. Call your parents and send the kids to Colorado. Maybe they will be able to take the kids on a holiday somewhere far away. We need to get them out of the picture… we can’t let Roman take his anger out on them.” He paused, when he felt the tears running down Marlena’s cheeks, and heard her soft sobs as she realised that she would be away from her children again. He let his lips touch her salty cheek. “It has to be this way. We can’t let Roman hurt them… you understand that don’t you?”
“I do… it’s just that… I have already failed them in so many ways… how can I do it again?” She looked down, refusing to meet John’s eye, but his hands forced her chin upwards. “Hey… you listen to me. Those kids could not have a better mother. You love them, and you care for them, and this is the best thing for them right now. Besides, they will just think that it is one big holiday… okay?”
Marlena gulped. “Okay…” she whispered. “I’ll send them today…”
“As soon as they are safe, I want you to go away. I don’t think that Roman is going to stop until he gets what he wants… and that is you! I don’t want you to have to go through that pain. I
don’t want to have to spend every day wondering if I could have protected you better.”
“John… I…” But John stopped her, his hand covering her mouth so that she couldn’t speak.
“No… Marlena… you need to go. Get as far away from here as possible. Forget about me… forget about Roman… just go. And remember that I love you… and I always will…” John took her face and pressed his lips against hers, which trembled beneath him.
“John… I won’t leave you. I refuse to leave you here…” Marlena grabbed the back of John’s head forcefully, and laced her fingers through his hair, determined to never let him go.
“I promise you baby that I will get out of here… and then I will find you. Tell your parents where you are going, and I’ll know where to go…”
“No… John… no, no, no…” John kissed Marlena firmly on the forehead. Then he called for the guard. “We are finished here.” He stepped away from her reach.
“John… noooooo… please? I love you… oh god, I love you so much.” John held his hand up and stopped the guard who was gently tugging on Marlena’s arm, urging her to leave. He came up close to her, and whispered softly. “I love you too… that’s why I had to do this…” He placed his lips onto hers and they kissed passionately through the bars, their salty tears mixing with the taste of their mouths, their tongues combining desperately… as if this was their last kiss. Then they broke apart, and Marlena sobbed as the guard led her to the door.
**************************
John didn’t let his tears fall until Marlena had well and truly left. He touched his hand to his lips, committing to memory the sensation of their kiss. He knew that it could be the last one that they would share for a long time, if not forever. He could taste the sweetness of Marlena upon him, feel the softness of her red lips… and he never wanted to forget it. For he knew that Roman would never let him go free… his pride and his anger about losing Marlena would make sure of that.
John took comfort in the fact that Marlena and the kids would be safe. They were what he lived for. He hoped that one day he could see them again… that he could again feel Marlena’s body pressed up against him… the joy of making sensual love to her. Now, he could only pray that Marlena would do as he asked and leave Salem as soon as possible. And that Roman would not find out and stop her.
***************************
I know that what he is saying makes sense. I know it in my mind, but I cannot ignore my heart, no matter what my logic tells me. My heart will not accept it. Doesn’t John know that I would risk everything for him? Can’t he see that without him my life is over? Just like he is willing to sacrifice everything for me, so am I for him.
It took me so long to come to the realisation that John was the man that I truly loved… with passion and vivacity and hunger. I can’t just let that all be torn away in a single moment. Not when we have just found each other again.
I can’t deny that I am scared… of Roman… of Orpheus… of what might happen if I stay… but also of what might happen if I leave. No, I need to stay… I need to find a way to get John out of jail. And I will.
I can still feel his hot kiss burning upon my lips. I need him.
“Marlena… did you see him?” Isabella approached Marlena as she stood staring out the window of the hospital room. Her eyes were red from crying. She nodded with the slightest of movements, so that Isabella wasn’t sure if she had even moved at all. “What happened? What is wrong?”
“Isabella… I want to thank you for keeping Roman occupied while I did that. I just wanted you to know that there are no hard feelings. I am sorry that we both couldn’t end up with the man that we love… but it looks like neither of us will now…” Her voice trailled off as Isabella stared at her, her mouth open in stunned silence. “W… what? What did he say?”
“Oh…” Marlena shrugged her shoulders and spoke bitterly. “Only that he wants me to leave Salem. He sure gave me one hell of a goodbye kiss though. You know, John is willing to sacrifice his freedom… his dignity… why? Why did this have to happen?” Isabella found herself cradling the sobbing woman in her arms, and she was surprised that no feelings of malice still existed. Her brief stint in jail was her wake-up call, and now she had accepted the fact that the man she loved, didn’t return her feelings. It was nobody’s fault… and she couldn’t blame Marlena for having him.
“You might not want to listen to me. God knows that I have resented you for so long now… just because John loved you. But you know… I don’t resent you any longer, and I want both you and John to be happy. I know that John would sacrifice anything for the people that he loves… and it is important to him that you leave. Go… I will help him to escape, and I will tell him where you are…”
“I can’t… I can’t leave him. Help me… Isabella, help me get him out of jail…”
Marlena looked down and saw the cleavage which seemed to fall out of her top. She felt uncomfortable and self-conscious, and had to fight the urge not to pull the material up just slightly to cover herself. Taking a deep breath she prepared to enter the police station, where John was still being held in a prison cell. This has to work, she told herself desperately. I have to make this work so that John can go free.
As soon as she opened the door, she could feel a set of eyes on her. Outside, she had at least had the cover of dusk to hide her, but here, she could be scrutinised, and the officer who was on the front desk seemed to know this. She looked up, swallowing her anxiety, and flashed the most beautiful smile that she could to the officer. His eyes seemed to travel her body, from the red, v-neck, low cut, tight top, to the tight black pants and boots. Her hair hug loosely over her shoulders, and her face was heavily made up. “I need to report a robbery, Officer…”
The young man just stood there for a moment, with his mouth agape, as Marlena leaned over the desk, so that her cleavage would show to the best advantage. “Uh… uh… Roberts…” The man finally seemed to find his voice, and he made his eyes travel to Marlena’s face so that he wouldn’t appear to be so rude. “Is there someone that I can talk to Officer Roberts?” Marlena asked, tears welling in her big brown eyes.
“You’re looking at me! I’m your man!” Officer Roberts handed a box of tissues to Marlena, and she took one, but only seemed to cry harder as she wiped her tears. “Please don’t cry, I can help you…” he stated, looking at Marlena in concern, and touching her shoulder comfortingly. “There is no one else here?” She asked innocently, looking up from her hands.
“Nope, I will just have to do… now tell me, what is the problem?”
Marlena rolled her eyes. This was going to be harder than she had thought. The officer listened to her intently as she relayed her story about being robbed, and as much as she tried, she couldn’t figure out a way to get him to leave the room. Marlena had watched intently when he had put his set of keys behind the counter, and all she needed was a few moments to get them and get them to John. She smiled when the officer yawned and then finally excused himself to go to the bathroom.
In an instant Marlena dashed up from where she sat in the interview room. She found the keys and pulled the note out of her pocket that she had written before she left. It had John’s instructions in it. A carefully laid plan so that they could escape together. With shaking fingers, and a pounding heart, Marlena found the key to the lock up. Then she ran to John’s cell and thrust the keys and the note into his hand, hardly even pausing to look at his surprised face. “Marlena…” John spoke as she turned to leave the room.
“John… later. I have to go… just hurry…” she breathed, shutting the door behind her.
She took her place back in the interview room, straightening her clothes and attempting to calm her erratic breathing, just as Officer Roberts re-entered the room.
****************************
Roman entered Marlena’s hospital room, and immediately noticed that it was empty. He dropped the suitcase containing all of her clothes and rushed over to the bathroom to see if she was in there. But she was nowhere to be found. Roman cursed, as the possibilities of her whereabouts ran through his mind rapidly. He picked up the phone and dialled the police station. Of all the places that Marlena could have gone, Roman knew that that was the most likely. As the phone continued to ring, Roman couldn’t help but curse himself for being so stupid and trusting her.
The past few days had been too good to be true. Marlena had agreed to his ‘deal’ as he had known she would, and she had even been nice to him, although sometimes he could still see the fear in her eyes. Last night, he had asked her to kiss him, and she had done it… reluctantly… but still… it was a kiss. Tonight, when he got her home, Roman was going to get what he wanted from Marlena… her body! He was going to make her scream in passion. That was, if he could find her first.
Marlena tried to remain calm as she sauntered out of the building, looking backwards seductively, as she swung her hips so that the officer could get a good look. She didn’t want to blow her cover just yet… and maybe since the officer was so distracted, it would buy them some time to make their escape. Inside, Marlena’s heart pounded, and her fear was very real, but outside, she oozed the air of nonchalance and sex appeal. The thought of another man looking at her the way Roman had… the thought that someone else might try to act on those feelings, made Marlena so afraid. She almost breathed a sigh of relief when she moved out of sight of the building. She hoped that John had followed her directions to the car properly. Shecouldn’t wait to see him, and to be able to hold him again… to feel safe in his arms.
John watched as she left the building, so close to her. He had her note scrunched up in his hand, his fist clenched as his mind raced. How could she do this? How could she have stayed in Salem? It was so dangerous for her right now… The thoughts plagued him, but somehow John couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of love for her… more now, if it was even possible, that she had risked her own safety to save him. And the thought of them being able to be together sooner than John had anticipated, filled him with such happiness.
He waited until Marlena was well out of view of the front door to the police station, and watched as she hurriedly moved in the direction where the car was waiting. Then, before she could go any further, John grabbed her arm and pulled her in his direction. He placed his hand over her mouth, just as she was about to scream, and he placed his lips against her ear and whispered urgently. “Shhh… it’s me Doc… it’s John…” He watched and felt as her face and body slowly relaxed. Then he took his hand from her mouth.
“Jesus John… you scared the hell out of me. Dammit…” she cursed, pushing away from him, her face angry and her heart pounding, almost as if it would fall out of her chest. She whirled around to face him, her eyes flaming, but Marlena wasn’t prepared for the stormy look that adorned his own face. “What the hell did you think you were doing?” He growled, as he grasped her upper arms.
“I just got you out of jail…” Marlena stuck her bottom lip out, her reply stubborn, her face stony. “You should be thanking me right now…” She folded her arms across her chest.
“Marlena… you KNEW that it wasn’t safe for you to stay here. I TOLD you to just leave… do you realise that he could have gotten to you? Do you realise that I wouldn’t have been there to save you?” John spoke in impassioned appeal, his hands grasping her face and forcing her to look up at him, his tone angry and afraid. “John, I was fine. I KNEW what I was doing! You don‘t need to yell at me…” Marlena struggled to pull away from John’s iron grip. The tears threatened to spill from her eyes, and already her voice was becoming choked up with emotion… from the past few days, hiding from Roman… from the strain of the entire ordeal this morning. And now, to make matters worse, John was mad at her.
“Don’t you GET it… I LOVE YOU! I can’t let anything happen to you… I wanted you to go away so that you would be safe. I don’t mean to yell… I just… I would NEVER forgive myself if he had gotten to you…” Tears soaked Marlena’s cheeks and she had ceased her struggling during John’s speech. “I’m sorry… I just… couldn’t leave you here. I was scared… I can’t be without you…”
John grabbed Marlena’s cheeks and pulled her to him, his lips their kiss, their lips and tongues clashing passionately, and brutally, and so satisfyingly. Then, they stopped, and stared at each other with lips parted, and bodies touching. John smiled tenderly and stroked Marlena’s flushed cheek, and then he grasped her hand firmly, and started to run, pulling her along with him to where the car was waiting for them.
*****************************
Orpheus smiled as he watched the spunky, feisty Marlena returning before his very eyes. The past few days had been a pleasure to watch. Somehow, he found himself hoping that John and Marlena would get away… if only so that they would get a sniff of freedom… to have it whisked away from beneath their feet. Orpheus knew that Roman Brady would not rest until he had found them… and they had not had enough time to plan a proper escape.
Then, if worse came to worse, and Roman couldn‘t find John and Marlena, Orpheus could always throw his expertise into the mix. Maybe he could make a deal with the police captain… a blind eye to his misconducts, for the whereabouts of his wife and her lover. Orpheus rubbed his hands together in gleeful bliss. The next few days would be amusing to watch.
“Aren’t you going to talk to me?” John asked quietly, glancing across at Marlena, who had been staring out the window for the better part of an hour. “If you aren’t going to talk to me ever again, it was a bit of a waste of your time and effort to break me out of jail, don’t you think?”
“Maybe it was a mistake… you obviously don’t think that I am capable of even simple tasks. I wouldn’t want you to be stuck with someone that you feel you need to treat like a child.” Marlena couldn’t help herself as she bit back. She didn’t know why she was so upset about it… it was such a little thing after all that they had been through. But even now, thinking about what happened just an hour ago, brought tears to her eyes.
“Which car is it?” John asked, as he dragged Marlena along behind him. They were both out of breath by the time they got there, their hearts pounding in their chests as they realised the stakes of the game that they were playing. “The silver one… over there…” Marlena pointed as she fumbled to pull the keys out of her handbag. She dropped them in her hurry and John bent down to pick them up. “Thanks…” she panted, holding her hand out for them. But John didn’t give them to her. “I’m driving…” he told her. “No… I want to drive John. Give me the keys…”
Marlena stopped at the driver side door, as John nudged her out of the way to unlock it. “Marlena, this is stupid… get out of the way…” he growled. “No… I want to drive. You have no right to do this…” Tears welled up in Marlena’s eyes… tears that she could do nothing to stop. “Yes I do.” John grabbed both of Marlena’s upper arms and pulled her to face him. “You have been through far too much in the past few days… weeks… to know what is right and what is wrong. Right now, you are in no shape to drive. So get in.” He dropped her arms and waited for her to make a move, but Marlena didn’t.
Without another thought, he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the passenger seat, fastening her seatbelt and closing the door, fighting with her as Marlena struggled the entire way.
“Marlena, you are exhausted, just the way you are reacting right now proves that. You have been on edge for days while you planned this… with Roman hanging around… I would expect nothing less…” John pulled the car into a petrol station, needing to be able to talk this through with her.
“I want you to have a sleep… you need to get some rest…” John moved his hand over to touch Marlena’s cheek but she jerked away.
Before he knew what was happening, Marlena was out of the car. He jumped out after her and grabbed her arm. “Where do you think you’re going?” He didn’t mean to sound threatening, but his fear for their safety made it so. “Don’t you DARE touch me…”
Marlena seethed, ripping her arm from his grasp. She stormed away from him, towards the bathroom, and John was stunned, left standing there, his mouth agape.
He recovered quickly and followed her, catching up to her just as she entered the bathroom. “What the hell is wrong with you Marlena?” he asked angrily.
“What do you think is wrong with me?” she spat back, turning her back to face him and folding her arms in a protective gesture.
“I have absolutely NO IDEA what is making you act like such a child. Please help me out here…” John threw up his arms in exasperation.
“A CHILD? You are calling ME a child? Maybe when you stop treating me like one, I will stop acting like one.” She turned to face him, her face so close to his, in a defiant gesture. “And exactly HOW am I treating you like a CHILD?” John yelled heatedly. “Is this about the car? Is this SERIOUSLY about me not letting you drive? You ARE a child… and I am fed up with you…”
“It’s about you not letting me make my own decisions… it’s about you having to be such a MACHO, CHAEUVINISTIC PIG. It’s about you having to PROVE that you are stronger than me, that you know MORE than I do, and that you can tell me what to do. I don’t need that John… I don’t need someone acting like my FATHER. I need a partner and a friend and a lover.” Tears poured down Marlena’s face and her cheeks had become an angry pink. John couldn’t help but admire how beautiful she was when she was furious. Just as she turned away, John grabbed her and planted his lips on hers for a desperate kiss, and sounds of her muffled sobs filled the empty bathroom, as their tongues met and caressed each other. He pulled away just as suddenly as the kiss had started and he spoke lustfully. “I am those things…” Then he turned and made his way back to the car, leaving Marlena watching him, still breathing heavily from that brutal kiss.
“John… wait…” Marlena hurried after him but he didn’t turn around. Instead he got into the car and Marlena promptly followed and did also. “John…” she said and stared into his blue eyes which were fixed intently onto her. “I love you.” Marlena threw herself over to John, finding his lips and kissing him firmly. Hands and lips were everywhere in an instant and the temperature of the car escalated to a searing heat. “Oh John, I need you…”
Marlena breathed, as John’s lips travelled across her neck in exquisite torture. “I need you too.” John almost lost himself in the feeling of Marlena… his desire to have her… to make her his. He gained his senses at the last moment. “We can’t do this here…” Marlena looked up, hurt filling her features. “Why not?”
“Because, we have got to get to safety. We have to keep driving.
I promise you that tonight we will stop somewhere nice and cosy and you and I will have the whole night to do whatever we want,” he told her suggestively, reaching to fasten his seatbelt. “You promise?” Marlena asked quietly.
“I promise you baby.”
******************************
They had been driving for a while in a comfortable silence. Marlena looked over and John as he drove. She gasped as she saw the prominence of the gash in John’s head from where Roman had hit him, and instinctively a tentative hand reached up to touch the area. “Oh, John…” Her tone was full of sadness as John’s hand closed on hers and held her palm against his face. “It’s okay baby… we’re okay…” He kissed the palm of her hand, but Marlena didn’t fail to notice how his lips trembled as they rested against her.
“I couldn’t bear it if I lost you…” Marlena started, her voice shaky but John cut her off before she could continue. “You won’t lose me. No matter what happens, we are destined to be together. I love you so much. I would do anything in my power to protect you.” John had pulled off on the side of the road, and now he was looking across into Marlena’s soulful brown eyes and smiling tenderly at her. He brushed the tears from her eyes with the pads of his thumb. “You know that, don’t you?” Marlena merely nodded and attempted a brave smile. “I’m just so scared that Roman will find us. God, I don’t think that I would survive it if he were to… to…”
“Shhhhh…” John hushed, as he took her face in his hands. He knew what she was about to say. The attempted rape had been devastating to Marlena. He had been someone that she had trusted… someone that she had spent years of her life with. That’s what made Roman’s attack even crueler. He stroked the fading bruises that still covered her face. “All that matters now is that we are together… and I will do everything in my power to make sure that we remain that way. I love you too much to ever let you go.” He leaned over and captured her lips with his, and they shared a sweet kiss, both their lips trembling with powerful emotion.
Again they found themselves driving along a monotonous road, lulled into stillness by the dusk. Marlena’s head was resting comfortably on John’s shoulder as he drove. He could smell the sweet aroma of her hair every time she shifted. “I’m so sleepy…”
John smiled as Marlena spoke in a drowsy voice. He ran one hand through her hair in a soothing gesture. “Go to sleep honey…”
“But then you will have nobody to talk to.” John could feel her warm breath on his neck and he shuddered as his body began to react to her closeness. He could feel his stomach tying itself in knots as he realised how lucky he was to have a woman like Marlena in his life. “You are exhausted, sweetheart. I’ll wake you when we get there, okay?”
“Maybe I will just rest my eyes for a little while*” John tried not to laugh. Sometimes he was amazed at how much like a little girl Marlena was. Sometimes she reminded him so much of Sami. But as much as he wanted to comfort her… as much as he wanted her to rely on him… he wanted for her to feel safe and happy again. And that wasn’t going to be a possibility, until he showed Marlena that life could be carefree again. In a few short moments, Marlena’s breathing became heavy and her breath fell in short spurts against John’s neck. He smiled again, knowing that she was with him, and safe, and at this moment, content to be in his arms.
“I’m sorry Captain Brady… I just… wasn’t expecting her to do that…” Officer Roberts had the look that a rabbit gets when it gets scared. Ever since he had phoned Captain Brady a few hours ago to inform him that John Black had escaped, he had known that he was done for. Everyone thought it… ever since Roman Brady had come back from the dead, he had become the Salem Police Department’s worst nightmare. And all the officers tried their hardest to stay on his good side… but now Officer Roberts cringed as he realised that he wasn’t getting out of this one easily, and he waited, cowering, for Captain Brady to respond.
“I don’t give a DAMN what you were expecting. How the hell did she get him out of the cell?” Roman was surprisingly calm for a man that just found out that his wife had helped her ex-lover escape from prison. But he knew that he had to do his best to keep his cool… he needed to be on the alert if he was going to find her and force her to come back to him. “Sir, she came in wearing this little… I thought she… I mean… she said she…” The officer stammered his words, struggling to get a comprehensive sentence out… still enraptured by the memory of the Captain’s sexy-as-hell wife. “Spit it out. I am NOT going to wait around all day.”
“She said she wanted to report a crime. She looked so… I mean…she was wearing this little… and these boots… I thought she was coming onto me… she was SO HOT!” He was flustered just thinking about her seductive behaviour, so that he forgot where he was for a moment. He was brought crashing back to reality by Roman pushing him against the wall. “Don’t you DARE speak about my WIFE that way, do you hear me?”
“Y… yes Sir… I was just telling you what happened…”
“Spare me the details Roberts. If you could keep your cock in your pants for five minutes, we wouldn’t be in this mess, and my WIFE wouldn’t be wanted for abetting a criminal. You are FINISHED here Roberts, and don’t think that any respectable employer will hire you after this. You are going to ROT in your own filth. Now GET OUT!”
**************************
“John, where are we?” Marlena lifted her head from John’s shoulder when the car stopped. Her eyes were large and her pupils dilated from sleep, and she yawned sleepily, not taking her head off John’s shoulder. “I just have to go and get us a room for the night, sweetheart.” John lifted her head and started to move away from her. “But John, it’s raining…” She looked up in protest, and smiled when John kissed her forehead. “I know, go back to sleep. I won’t be long.” Then he got out of the car and Marlena fell straight back to sleep, the stress of the past few days finally catching up to her.
Ten minutes later John rushed back out to the car, key in hand. He was worried that Marlena would have started to wonder where he was. He didn’t want her being more scared than she already was. He had no cause for concern as he noticed that Marlena had gone back to sleep and had not stirred since he had left her there. He had hired them a little secluded cabin for the night. With their faces and names splashed all over the news, John knew that they would have to be careful. He was glad that Marlena had slept for the majority of the car trip and had not heard their names splashed all over the media.
He opened the passenger side door and lifted Marlena gently into his arms, being careful not to wake her. John watched her with adoration as she stirred only slightly in her sleep, adjusting her arms around his neck, her lips parting as she breathed out a soft sigh. He couldn’t resist touching her and his hand delicately stroked her cheek and pushed her long hair away from her face, and the tiny droplets of rain that hit her face. As he started walking, Marlena’s face hid against his neck and John drew in a deep breath as warm spurts of her breath fell against him. He breathed in the fresh scent of her, and he wanted nothing more than to just make love to her. But John knew that she was exhausted. She had already been sleeping for over two hours… and her well being was more important to him than anything else. He moved as quickly as he could towards the cabin, trying to prevent Marlena from getting too wet, but he could feel the rain soaking his own clothes… and he knew that she would be dripping wet by the time they got inside.
Placing his precious burden on the bed when he got inside, John immediately felt the loss. He couldn’t help wishing that he could snuggle in beside her and hold her all night long… but he didn’t want to do anything that Marlena wasn’t ready for. He resolved to only be with her if she asked him to. He placed the blanket over her and kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger over her soft skin as he savoured the moment. Just as he was about to walk away, he heard her soft voice speaking. “John, I’m cold… I’m so cold…” He turned, expecting to look into her big eyes, but she was still asleep and shivering.
He took a deep breath and pulled the blankets back, gazing at her rain-soaked clothes. He slowly started to unbutton her shirt, gasping as he exposed every new inch of skin… still bruised from the events of the past week, yet so beautiful. If anything, the sight of her injuries made John want her so much more… it made him want to be the man that she trusted and the man who would protect her from anything like this ever happening to her again. He wanted to take all of her pain away. John came out of his daze, realising that his eyes were fixed on her body. He had to suppress his raging desire to kiss her bare skin… to wake her with his tender caresses, and he finished his task of undressing her quickly. He pulled a shirt out of the bag that he had pulled out of the car and secured it over her body, smiling as he saw her wearing his shirt, her long legs so exposed. He kissed her lips tenderly and pulled the blankets up to Marlena’s chin, knowing that everything would be okay now that they were here together.
**********************************
“What the fuck is taking so long?” Roman was in a livid rage. His entire face was stained red with anger. He couldn’t believe that Marlena had done this… broken John Black out of prison and gone on the run with him. The thoughts of John’s hands on Marlena’s body made his blood boil. For hours he had commissioned the entire police department to search for them. There were men out on the roads, road blocks had been put in place, and Marlena and John’s faces were all over the news in every state in America. He swore that he would find them and that he would bring them back. And when he did, Marlena would pay for having double-crossed him… and then she would be his forever.
When she awoke Marlena took a moment to focus on her surroundings. Immediately she noticed the warmth of the room and the softness of the bed that she was laying on. She sat up in confusion, disoriented as to where she was and why she was here, hearing only the hard rainfall on the roof. At first she couldn’t see anything through the darkness except for the blazing red of the fire, but she wasn’t alarmed. There was an unexplainable sense of safety in the room and even amidst all of the danger that had surrounded her for so long, Marlena had a feeling that everything would be alright.
When she came fully to her senses, Marlena remembered how she had gotten here. She replayed her kiss with John in her mind and remembered his promise that tonight they could be alone and together. Marlena smiled in contentment as her hazel eyes focused in the darkness, and searched for him. Then she sensed him and suddenly she could hear his breathing in the room so clearly, as if he was standing right next to her. She heard and saw movement and then her eyes finally found him as he moved in front of the fire.
All at once Marlena was filled with admiration and a profound feeling of overpowering love. She watched his pensive expression as he seemingly stared into the fire. For a while she just watched him, his naked upper body and the taut muscles of his back rippling with every move that he made. Then the urge to be next to him… to feel him… to kiss him overtook her, and Marlena quietly moved out of the bed. She looked down at his shirt which covered her body and smiled as she moved towards him, not making a sound, so as not to disturb the tranquillity that filled the room.
When she reached him, Marlena let out a deep breath that she
didn’t know she had been holding. Her entire body tingled with anticipation as the heat from John’s body and the fire radiated onto her. She heard John’s breathing quicken when he felt her presence. “Marlena…” he whispered huskily, not turning around, the sound so quiet that she wasn’t even sure that he had spoken at all. “Shhhhh…” she whispered as she gazed longingly at his shoulders. Her hands slowly moved towards his body, her own body merely inches from his. And when she touched him she felt his body jump in response, the sparks flying between them, the skin to skin contact sending their senses into overdrive. Slowly Marlena moved her hands over John’s back and shoulders. They glided over his tanned skin sensually, almost like a massage and her hands were so soft and gentle, and the only sounds that filled the room were those of their heavy breathing and the occasional sharp crackling of the roaring fire.
“I thought you were resting…” John spoke, his voice thick with desire, his blue eyes darkened into a navy blue. The feeling of her hands on him was almost too much for him to handle, and right now he was fighting the urge to spin around and throw Marlena on the bed. “I know, but I woke up… and you were standing there… looking so…” Marlena whispered the words against the skin of his back as her hot breath assaulted him. Long strands of her hair fell against his back as her lips found the base of his shoulder blade and she placed a sensual kiss over its surface. “So what?” John managed to ask, his curiosity aroused.
“So hot… and masculine… and sexy…” Her lips travelled slowly over his shoulder and finally came to rest at the base his neck.
“Oh Doc…” John growled. He could feel the curves of her body as she began to press herself against his back, and his excitement rose as she moved slowly around him, her hands running over the rippling muscles of his back and chest as she did so. John almost shivered as he felt her eyes focused on him… scrutinizing him… and it made him want her so much more.
“I don’t know if we should…” John started, not wanting Marlena to do something that she was not ready for. After all, she had only gotten out of the hospital today. “Hush John…” Marlena whispered, and she pressed her fingers against his lips to quiet him. Then without speaking, her eyes staring into his intensely, she moved backwards so that she was just out of his reaching distance. Her hands found the top button of her shirt and slowly and painstakingly Marlena loosened each one, smiling seductively as John’s eyes roamed each area of newly exposed skin, his body reacting at merely the sight of her, willing and ready for him. Then she let it fall to the floor, forgotten, as it pooled at her feet, and she was left standing in front of John wearing only a pair of black lace panties.
“Marlena… you are so beautiful…” John took a step towards her, his eyes moving over her and coming to rest on hers. “Make love to me…” Her tender appeal made John melt, and for a moment he could see the beginning of tears glistening in her eyes.
“Are you okay? We don’t have to do this!” John moved quickly towards her in concern and tipped her face up so that she was looking directly into his eyes. “No… I want this… so much… I can’t even tell you how much. I just… thought that we could never be this way again.” Her voice was choked with happy sobs, and John pulled her into his arms, engulfing her fiercely. “Just being here… means more to me than I can ever tell you, Doc! And no matter what happens, I will love you forever…” John muttered the words as he buried his face into the softness of her blonde tresses, breathing in the scent of her as he cherished the woman who was finally in his arms.
For a while they stood holding each other in a contented silence, but slowly John’s hands started to move over Marlena’s back and shoulders, the sensations sending goose bumps over her flesh. She placed her lips against his ear. “Please… I need you tonight…” she pleaded, and it was true. She had never felt the need to be with John so strongly as she felt it tonight. Seeing the remnants of doubt still in John’s eyes, Marlena gazed fully at him, filling her eyes with all of the love and the desire that she felt for him. She took his hands in hers and brought each of his palms to her lips, smiling into them as she saw his eyes close involuntarily at the sensation. Before he opened his eyes, she placed his hands over her breasts so that he was cupping them intimately, her own small hands holding them in place. She could feel his entire body shudder as he resisted at first, still not sure that Marlena was ready for this. “I want this John…” she spoke heatedly, not moving her hands from his. Then she leant in and kissed his neck. “I know that you want this too… don’t you?”
“I want this more than anything Doc… I have never desired ANYONE like I desire you…” he spoke in a voice thick with lust, and his eyes darkened with yearning made Marlena tremble. Moving away from him, Marlena watched as John’s hands dropped from her breasts. She knelt on the rug in front of the fire, taking his hands in hers, her eyes never leaving his, as she enticed him down to join her. “Touch me John…” she whispered into the air, her hushed words almost getting lost to their surroundings. “Touch me like only you know how…”
Slowly John got to his knees in front of her, and his hand caressed her face and moved to her neck. Marlena tilted her neck sideways, encouraging him to continue, and she gasped when suddenly his lips descended onto her exposed flesh, his tongue sending her into a state of excitement that she had missed so much. “Oh John…” she breathed as his teeth tugged delicately at the skin of her collar-bone. “Take me baby…” John stared intensely into her eyes. There was no mistaking what Marlena wanted… and now, he was sure that she was ready for it. But tonight, he wanted to make sure that it wasn’t just sex… he wanted to show Marlena that he loved her with every fibre of his being. He placed his lips against hers, and instantly her lips parted and their tongues caressed one another. Small, throaty sounds emitted from them throughout the room and they were so caught up in each other… only parting when the need for air became greater than their desire for each other.
John moved behind Marlena, smiling sneakily as she followed him with her gaze. Then he pressed himself up against her, and Marlena gasped when she felt his throbbing erection pressed into the small of her back. “Mmmm John…” she moaned as his lips moved over the nape of her neck, and she let her head drop forwards to give him all of the access that he needed. “You taste so good… I missed this…” His murmured words vibrated against her skin, sending shivers down Marlena’s spine. “Me too… you and I… we are so good together. I never want this night to end.” Marlena turned her head so that she could see John from the corner of her eye and her cheek rested against his face.
“Lie down Marlena…” John spoke huskily, moving his skin from hers.
“What? Why?”
“Because tonight is going to be a night that you will never forget. I am going to show you how much you truly mean to me…” He gently eased her down to the ground so that she lay on her stomach on the rug, letting his hands linger over her back. “Oh John…” Marlena murmured softly as she felt his strong hands start to move over her back… gently at first like a dance… and then harder, massaging all of the anxiety out of her body. Her eyes were closed to the sensation, revelling in every movement of his hands, willing him never to stop. John felt himself get lost in the softness of her skin, the small goose bumps that rose and fell beneath his touch. He couldn’t stop gazing at her, noticing his arousal grow with every slight moan and gasp that escaped Marlena’s mouth. “That feels so wonderful…” she whispered, and John smiled as he studied her reactions to his touch.
Bending down, John placed his lips gently against the hollow in the small of her back, letting his tongue sneak out ever so slightly to sample the taste of her. He heard Marlena gasp and shudder in delight, and she whispered his name quietly. At that moment John realised that he had never felt so much desire and so desired at the same time. He couldn’t understand how he had become so lucky to have such a goddess in front of him. Increasing his attentions, John moved his hands up her back, tracing the line of her spine. His mouth and tongue followed, lavishing his undivided attention on causing Marlena pleasure.
Her back arched up as Marlena let her eyes slam shut, her breathing heavy as John’s mouth played with her delicate skin. When he reached her neck, she felt him brush her hair from where it sat against her skin, and with a little more force than his attentions to her back, John started to feast on its nape. She turned her head to expose her lips, encouraging him to kiss her… but John just smiled into her skin, running the palm of his hands across her shoulders and down her arms. He lay down beside Marlena and moved his body close so that nothing was left to the imagination… Marlena could feel the full extent of his arousal against her bare thigh and the thought of being with John like that caused her to shiver with excited anticipation.
“John, I need you now…” Marlena uttered, shifting her body to turn over. But before she could move, John had stopped her, physically restraining her by the shoulders, and pushing her back down onto the rug. He heard her whimper and he smiled as he spoke. “Baby, not yet… you will love what I am going to do to you so much more…” Taking one finger, John traced Marlena’s right shoulder and moved it down her arm. Then picking up her hand, he placed soft, sensual kisses over it, turning it over and covering every inch. He proceeded up her arm, listening to her soft moans of pleasure… not stopping until he had returned to her neck. Then he repeated the painfully slow endearment on her left arm. With his hands and tongue, John explored every inch of Marlena’s back.
*********************************
The fire burned hot as John and Marlena finally expressed their love for one another in the best way that they knew how. John was a tender lover, bringing her to her peak slowly and softly. He explored every inch of Marlena’s body, working them up into a frenzy of passionate desire… both needing the other, both needing to feel again. As John finally entered Marlena, it was as if their souls were connected together… shocked by how right this felt.
Their breathing ragged as John clutched Marlena against his sweat-soaked chest, both unable to speak from amazement at what had just passed between them.
When they could move, Marlena snuggled against him and smiled into his neck. “I can’t even believe how right that felt John… you reached me like no-one has ever reached me before…”
“That’s because we were meant to be Marlena… you and I were meant to be together forever. And we will be…” John stared into the fire, stroking Marlena’s hair soothingly as he vowed to himself and her that nothing would separate them. “I love you John…” Marlena spoke sleepily as she drifted off into a peaceful slumber. “I love you too…”
**********************************
I dreamed of him again last night! It seems to be a frequent occurrence these days… I dream of Roman every night and the memory of the dreams keep me sane. In my dream, my Roman was here… I woke from sleep to find him bending over me, his lips pressed to my forehead, his whispers comforting. Self-consciously I tried to cover up my blemished skin, the bruises still so new and obvious… but he stopped my hand and with silent whispers, he bent and kissed my bare flesh. “I am taking you away from here forever…” His words still haunt me… if only it were true. “But how? Orpheus will never allow it…” Comes my whispered reply. “I will find a way. But first…” he speaks as his hands remove my nightgown completely. “I am going to make love to you.”
He is my hero… and he will always be my hero! As long as I know he loves me, I will never be alone. And as long as he is in my dreams, I will never lose sight of that!
Orpheus watched as Marlena sat contentedly on the balcony of the cabin that she shared with John. Her face glowed with happiness, no doubt due to her passionate encounter with John in front of the fireplace. He could almost reach out to touch her, and Orpheus found all sensible thoughts leaving him as he became painfully aroused looking at her in the almost transparent cotton nightgown that she was wearing.
He knew that he could take her now and have his way with her. A release that he had been working towards ever since he had started to see the sensual side to Marlena Brady.
He almost envied John… of Marlena’s devotion and love… but mostly of her body. John could have her at any moment. At the same time, he knew that he didn’t want her love, for if she loved him he could not control and dominate her. When the time came, Orpheus would take satisfaction in hearing Marlena begging him to stop, knowing in his mind that she wanted it almost as much as he did.
He closed his eyes to the haunting image of Marlena, there for the taking, blocking out the temptation to bypass his well-laid plans and have her now. No, for now, he still had too much to do… causing havoc in their lives was his number one priority, and she would be his prize at the final moment. The final moment that would break them all.
*****************************
John woke up to find Marlena’s side of the bed empty and her nowhere in sight. For a moment he panicked, and then he saw her through the window… sitting outside with just his shirt on, and staring out into the rain. He grabbed a blanket and moved to the door, watching her intently as he did so. He paused against the doorjamb, and saw the way she smiled radiantly, her knees secure against her chest as she hugged them to her in the cold air of the dark night.
Silently he moved behind her and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head as he did so. “I didn’t mean to wake you…” she murmured, not looking at him.
“I know… I think I got cold when you weren’t cuddled up beside me.” He sat down in the blanket beside her, and pulled her body against his chest, wrapping the warmth of the thick rug around both of them. Hearing her sigh, John’s heart lit up with contentment and he welcomed Marlena as she moulded her soft curves to his muscular chest, tightening his hold on her with his strong arms. “You okay?” His nose nuzzled her honey-scented hair gently, as he spoke with concern for his love. After all she had been through, John was surprised that Marlena wasn’t more of a mess… her scars from Roman’s attempted rape hadn’t even vanished yet.
Closing her eyes, relishing the feeling of being so close to John, his searing warmth filled Marlena with a sense of calm that she thought she would never feel again. “Mmmm hmmm,” she found herself murmuring in response to his concerned enquiry. “I’m perfect! Being here… with you, makes me forget about everything negative in our lives.” She turned her head so that her lips just touched John’s neck, breathing in his manly aroma and revelling in it. “Why did you leave the bed? I remember how I used to hold you all night and you never left my side then, and when you weren’t there, that’s how I knew that something was wrong…”
“John, I promise you that nothing is wrong. I just woke up and my heart almost burst when I felt you beside me… your arms wrapped so tightly around me. It was like being transported in time to that brief moment when we were blissfully happy. I could hardly stand it… so I came out to get some air.” Marlena stared ahead into the dark night, the sky seeming darker and darker with every passing moment. The world smelled fresh… a freshness that only emerges after the rain, and all of a sudden complete fulfilment blanketed the two lovers.
They sat in silence for what seemed like hours, John’s face caressing Marlena’s hair every now and again, her hands gently stroking his, then turning them over to explore every inch of the rough skin that coated them. “I love your hands…” she whispered sleepily, lifting them to touch the skin of her neck. “They are so rough… and so big…” She smiled as she brought his palm to her lips and placed sweet kisses over its surface. The she didn’t have to hold it anymore, as John’s hands came to life in her tiny ones, caressing her face and neck, as his lips bent to nip at the nape of Marlena’s neck. “Are you tired baby?” John murmured, as he heard and felt Marlena sigh and then yawn sleepily. She could only shake her head vigorously, indicating that she didn’t want him to stop his sweet seduction. “I’ll take you to bed…” John moved to stand, attempting to pull Marlena with him, but she laughed playfully as she resisted him.
Now the rain was pouring down and the fresh scent again assaulted their senses, the iciness of the night air suddenly painfully obvious. Marlena shivered in her cotton nightie, but she hardly noticed, for suddenly she was blissfully happy, the rain only serving to heighten her exhilaration. In a movement unforseen by John, Marlena ran out into the sheet of rain that was filling the sky, twirling her body around and around, her face turned upwards and her laughter ringing through the silence.
“Marlena…” John gasped, his only concern for her health. Already, Marlena’s nightie had plastered itself to her body, moulding perfectly to her shape, and quickly becoming transparent. He tried not to focus on that, as he called to her to come back inside. “You don’t know what you’re missing John… come out here…” Her arms reached appealingly towards him, and John could hardly resist the angelic pout that had appeared on Marlena’s face. “You are going to get sick…” he warned, his body becoming involuntarily aroused by her sensuality, his voice husky…“I know you want to come out here…” Marlena spoke liltingly, stepping towards him as she reached down and pulled her plastered nightie from her body. John’s mouth dropped open, and he couldn’t stop his eyes from darkening and roaming every inch of her nakedness… wishing that it was his hands caressing her delicate skin.
“Don’t tell me that you’re afraid of a little bit of rain…” her voice sung teasingly, her lips pushed into a pout that she knew could drive him crazy. “Come on John, I can see that you want to.” Tiny hands gestured to the insistent bulge that had formed in John’s boxer shorts.
Until now, John had been unable to move, his entire focus on watching Marlena. But now he moved quickly… urgently, reaching her in an instant and pulling her hard up against him. To which she gasped in shock and admiration… for his strength and for his need. Their lips met in a desperate flurry of passion, tongue meeting tongue stroke for stroke, hands meeting skin as they again tried to discover every inch of each other. The rain pounded down around them and on top of them, coating their skin in cold drops of liquid, each drop finding a different inch of them. Yet John and Marlena hardly noticed… not the flashes of lightening, or the chill in the air… their bodies were so feverishly heated with desire that the cold was like a distant memory to them.
Pulling away from Marlena’s lips, John smiled as she stared at him with raw desire in her eyes, her lips swollen from the intensity of their kisses, her lips parted in anticipation of more to come. He watched as she threw her head back, exposing her neck and inviting him to her.
He didn’t miss a beat as he buried his face in her neck, his mouth making easy work of covering every inch of her skin. He could feel Marlena’s hands lightly scratching down his back, as his travelled to her breasts, which he kneaded tenderly, as he continued to kiss her jaw line.
Hands travelled over heated flesh, as John’s calloused palms found every contour of Marlena’s soft body, and hers moved more and more urgently over his. Low moans of passion escaped through their kisses, as finally Marlena’s hands rested on John’s firm bottom, urging him closer to her, needing to have him inside her. “Honey…” She broke their kiss. “I need you… now…”
John didn’t wait for another invitation, plunging himself inside her. Marlena gasped and held tightly onto his upper arms, the wetness of their skin making it almost impossible to find a rhythm to their love-making. With his hands John took Marlena’s thighs, and lifted her so that her legs were wrapped around him. Then, still inside her, he stumbled to the verandah where they had been sitting just minutes ago, his movements desperate as Marlena tried to thrust against him. “Hold on baby…” he whispered through clenched teeth. They both needed release and he was painfully aware of that fact.
He aimed for the wall of the cabin and pushed Marlena against it, thrusting in and out of her with increasing speed. “I’ve missed you so much…” Marlena opened her darkened hazel eyes as she spoke to him, levelling her glassy gaze on John’s eyes. They reached climax in the same way… their eyes conveying the love and commitment they had to one another, their souls connecting through their sacred act.
When they had started to breathe normally again, John realised that Marlena was shivering, and that her skin was covered in goosebumps. “Cold, honey?” he murmured as he nuzzled his face into her hair. “Nope… how could I be cold after what you just did to me?” She laughed happily as John’s face turned to feigned shock. “What I just did? Me? I think you have your memories mixed up. As I recall it was YOU who lured me out into the rain to seduce me…”
“Is that a complaint I hear?” She whispered playfully, as one fingernail wreaked havoc on his collar-bone. “Nope… no complaints from me, Ma’am…” John smiled cheekily. “But I DO have a request…”
“Mmm hmmm… and what would that request be?”
“I think we need to warm up. How about treating me to a hot bubble bath?”
The late morning sun filtered through the heavy curtains of the room. Marlena yawned as her eyes began to flutter open and adjust to the light. She stretched languorously, her entire body aching with the aftermath of a long night’s lovemaking… but Marlena delighted in the sensation… For the first time for as long as she could remember, Marlena was happy. She felt the warmth of John’s body beside her, stretching herself in abandonment along the length of him. She propped herself up on her elbows and smiled as she watched him… his mouth opened slightly in sleep, his lips turned upwards in contentment, his limbs thrown in all directions as if exhaustion alone had enticed him into sleep.
Marlena found herself smiling wickedly as she relived the events of this morning… her eyes closed as she tried to commit to memory every last feeling that John had evoked in her, savouring it as if knowing that it couldn’t last.
“Don’t all the bruises and scars disgust you?” She asked quietly, her voice almost musical as John’s piercing blue eyes ravished her. Marlena was standing on the bathroom floor, waiting for the water to swell and fill the tempting bathtub… somehow needing an escape from the imperfections that covered her… scars that weeks and months of pain had imprinted into her.“I told you…” John rose from where he sat on the edge of the bathtub, approaching his lover purposefully, his eyes delighting in devouring her desirous body. “…That I could NEVER be disgusted by you. Even now Marlena, you are the most sensual woman that I have ever seen… and your little performance in the rain, makes me want you so much more…” He raised an eyebrow as his husky voice sent shivers through her.
“But I…” Marlena started, again filled with self-doubt, her moods swinging violently as she tried to come to terms with all that had happened. But before she could continue, John stopped her, with a warm hand on her lips. “But nothing… how can you even doubt the effect your body has on me?” To prove his point, he took Marlena’s trembling hand and placed it on his very erect penis. “Satisfied?” he asked coyly as Marlena began to gently stroke him.
She smiled, her body again reacting to the closeness of her lover, and the feeling of him hard and aroused in her delicate hand.
Leaning into him, Marlena let her breath tickle his earlobe, her breasts only very briefly brushing against his hard chest. “I don’t know about me…” she whispered heatedly. “But it’s painfully obvious that you are far from satisfied…” Her small hand worked over him, savouring the twitching of his flesh, the view of his head thrown back in delicious ecstasy, the guttural groaning that escaped from his parted lips.
Backing him up against the bathtub, Marlena pushed him gently down so that he was sitting. John opened his eyes, the dark blue orbs coated with lust, telling her that she had stopped on the verge of an orgasm. Leaning forwards, she let her breasts brush his face and turned off the gushing taps of the tub. She gasped and jumped as she felt John’s expert tongue dash out and take her nipple in his mouth… unrelenting and unwilling to let go. Closing her eyes, Marlena felt her knees start to buckle and she let herself revel for a moment in the eroticism of their current position. “Stop that,” she giggled finally, pushing him away from her. “I’m not finished with you yet…” Her skin felt cold when John’s lips left it, but Marlena knew that there would be plenty of that later… for now she wanted to give her lover all of the pleasure which he had given to her so many times. “Oh but baby, you taste so good…” John moaned huskily, hardly aware of anything apart from the promise of his pending orgasm… lust had prevented all coherent thought.
“There’ll be plenty of time for you to do that later…” she sighed, licking her lips as her eyes feasted on her prize. She ran her hands over his knees and pushed his legs as far apart as was humanly possible, watching the pre-cum ooze from him. Marlena knelt on the cold tiles of the floor and bent to take him in her mouth, her lips and tongue provoking his orgasm almost immediately. “God Marlena… I don’t know how someone as sweet as you ever learnt how to do that… that was… incredible…” John panted, trying to catch his breath long enough to thank her. “Now…” He lifted her chin so that he could look into her eyes. “It’s my turn… I am going to show you how much of a goddess you really are…”
Marlena felt her entire body tingle as she watched John’s even breathing, his chest rising and falling, as he slept peacefully. “Doc…” he murmured her name in his sleep, smiling as his dream satisfied him. She started to disentangle her limbs from his, desiring to do something for John before he awoke. She grabbed his shirt and threw it over her body, carelessly doing up a few of the buttons. She breathed in deeply, capturing the scent of him in the shirt. Strolling back to the bed, Marlena leaned down and placed a delicate kiss on his forehead, giggling as he stirred slightly before falling back to sleep.
*******************************
“You promised me… you promised me that Marlena would be here
with me…” Roman looked back and forth between Orpheus and
Stefano, his entire being trembling with fury. “We had a deal…”
“The deal was that I would pay you to come here and work for
me… Marlena was just an added bonus, enticing you to make a
decision that you had already made. You would have agreed even
if I hadn’t promised Marlena…”
“NO… I LOVE Marlena! I would NEVER have sold myself to you… NEVER…” His face was twisted into an unsightly rage. H didn’t want to admit that it was true.
“Stop kidding yourself Roman… nothing is as important to you as money. You know…” Stefano rubbed his chin in amusement. “I didn’t think it would be so easy to corrupt you. I thought that your love for Marlena would prevent you from ever saying yes to my bribe. I can’t believe how wrong I was…” He chuckled as Roman’s fist slammed into his face.
This was it, Roman could feel it! Ever since they had received the tip that John and Marlena were staying in a little cabin on the road to nowhere, he knew that this is where he would find them. His mind boiled at the knowledge that they had spent the night together, and images of their hands and naked bodies haunted him. He imagined worse than what he had seen on the tape that he had been subjected to watch. But as much as he loathed going there to find them together, he knew that John would never be able to put his hands on Marlena again. Not after he was done!
He chuckled to himself as the car pulled into the parking lot…
*******************************
John woke from dreaming about Marlena, his mouth smiling, his body craving her closeness. Reaching over to her side of the bed, John found it empty and sat up. He laughed as he heard her singing from the kitchen, his mind remembering what else she had done with that mouth last night. And he remembered everything that had happened, every movement of her body, every sound that she evoked, as he had worshipped her.
John lifted Marlena like she weighed nothing. Gently he placed her into the full bathtub, watching intently as the bubbles slowly enveloped her and covered her body. He moved behind her and placed his lips on Marlena’s ear, whispering lovingly into it. “I am going to show you that you are the most beautiful woman in the world… that you deserve to be cherished nurtured and made love to… after tonight, you will no longer have any doubts about my desire for you…” He watched as her neck relaxed and her eyes closed in contentment. Taking the shampoo John squeezed out a tiny portion and started lathering it into her hair. The sensation was idyllic… the smell of the shampoo so intoxicating. She felt the warm water cover her head and she noticed through her clouded senses that John’s hand covered her forehead to avoid getting any shampoo in her eyes. “John…” She whispered his name as his hands massaged her head exquisitely as he conditioned it, and John smiled when he heard the whispered moans that escaped from her slightly parted lips. He lifted her head with one hand and let the other travel down to the back of her neck… and he massaged the area while her head lolled forwards. He took a deep breath and proceeded to wash the conditioner out. He kissed the top of her head when he was finished and inhaled deeply the exotic smell. He stood and looked down at her, noticing that her hooded eyes were open and gazing dopily up at him. Her lips were turned upwards into a satisfied smile. John couldn’t resist her. He placed his lips upon hers, their position awkward. Her eyes watched his neck and his hers as they clumsily kissed upside down. Then as their tongues intertwined it no longer mattered and their lips sensually played with each other. Marlena sucked John’s top lip between hers and released it seductively. And she couldn’t stop herself as she reached up behind her to grasp his shoulders.
The memory of how they had made love in the bathtub, the water flooding the bathroom floor, their hysterical laughter as they had tried to mop it up, had John chuckling to himself. He couldn’t even begin to put into words how much he adored Marlena… he didn’t think he could even come close.
John realised that he was wasting precious time when he could be with Marlena. He stretched as he stood up, feeling happier than he hd in a long time. Pulling on a pair of jeans, he made his way into the kitchen, and he stopped as soon as he caught a glimpse of his lover, wearing just his shirt, barely covering her naked thighs.
She was standing at the fridge, the door wide open, bent over to retrieve some miscellaneous item. John was in heaven, just watching her, as the shirt rode further up her long legs. He moved behind her and grabbed her around the waist, laughing as she began to giggle. “Morning beautiful…” he murmured huskily against the skin of her neck.
“Morning handsome… you trying to scare me to death?” Marlena turned and met his lips with a brief kiss.
“No… but I couldn’t resist when I saw you looking so damn sexy in my shirt… and nothing else…” His voice was suggestively sexy.
“How do you know, honey… for all you know, I could have ten layers on underneath this generously sized shirt…” While she spoke, she had wriggled away from him and was slowly stepping backwards as he continued to approach.
“I know that you’re lying…” John felt his arousal begin at just the thought of Marlena’s nude body beneath the shirt.
“Uh uh…” She shook her head playfully.
“Well I guess I will just have to see for myself…” John broke into a run as Marlena dashed away from him, her laughter hysterical. Her screams filled the small room as he swept her up into his arms and pinned her on the counter. “John… come on… I’m hungry…”
Marlena spoke between spurts of laughter, as John’s lips set to work kissing her neck.
“Hmmm I know… so am I… for you…” His lips descended on hers and all thoughts of food immediately fled from Marlena’s mind, as her legs wrapped tightly around him.
**************************
“Step away from her Black… NOW!” John and Marlena’s heads shot up as the threat intruded on their passion. Marlena felt tears fill her eyes as she saw Roman, his gun pointed right at John.
Always the protector, John held Marlena securely in his arms and moved in front of her. “John…” she whispered faintly, her body trembling in fear. “It’s okay Doc… I’m here…” Comforting words that they both knew wouldn’t be true for much longer.
“Not anymore Black! Officers… cuff him!” Out of nowhere, a swarm of policemen infiltrated the kitchen. “John Black, you are under arrest for the attempted rape and kidnapping of Marlena Brady…” The words faded into nothingness as Marlena felt herself torn away from her death grip on John…
***************************
“Now Black, Marlena will be mine!” Orpheus watched in delight from the window, biding his time before he would have his prize. Now he could wait, because the time was near.
“Marlena…” Her screams haunted him, as he tried his hardest to reach her. He could only watch as the woman he loved struggled in the arms of the man who had attempted to rape her just days before. His limbs held in place by countless uniformed policemen, it didn’t stop him from trying to break free. Because when it came to Marlena, John had superhuman strength.
The fear in her beautiful brown eyes pierced into his very soul, breaking all of the promises that he had made to her. “I’ll always keep you safe…” He remembered saying to words to her… a promise that she would have no more heartache. Yet here they were again, about to be torn apart, and neither of them could do anything about it.
“John… help me please…” Her tearful voice cried out desperately, needing to believe that somehow they would survive this, that somehow they would be together. “Let me go…” John heard her cries to Roman, and he could sense everything that was happening in the room. While he fought tooth and nail to get away from his captors across the opposite side of the room, John could still almost feel the pressure that Roman was applying to her arms… he could see the cabin owner standing in the doorway, her features a mix of fascination and horror.
“John, don’t let him take me… please?” She continued to plead with him, knowing that there was nothing he could do, but tearing his heart out with guilt in the meantime. John know that she wouldn’t want him to feel guilty, like this was his fault, but he couldn’t help it.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” He couldn’t even speak the words, coming out in a hoarse and heartbroken whisper. But she saw it, and she knew his torment. “I love you…” Her mouthed reply, and for a moment John saw the hint of a smile through her tear-filled eyes, hovering on her lips. “I love you too.” He knew that she understood, and he knew that Roman did too, for the next moment she was gone, John’s name tearing from her lips over and over again until she was out of earshot.
John woke from a restless sleep, his mind racing, and his body aching. He knew that he had to get moving, but his heart was heavy, and he almost didn’t want to go on. He had no idea where Marlena was, and even if he did, he had no chance of getting close to her. Because from the moment that he had broken away from the police who held him, he was a fugitive from justice, and he wouldn’t be surprised if there were shoot to kill orders on him.
His head throbbed, as he tried to shake the memories of Marlena being dragged away from him, but that dream had been so vivid… like he was reliving it all over again. And so was the overwhelming despair of feeling that he had let her down.
His neck snapped quickly towards the sound of a twig snapping in the woods, and he found himself in a state of consciousness that he couldn’t recall ever feeling before. It was almost like he was a wild animal, his instinct telling him to fight… and the feelings deep inside of him scared him intensely.
“Marlena…” He was still screaming long after Roman had driven away with her. Screaming until his voice was hoarse and he had no voice left to continue. How had it all gone so wrong? How had Roman found them. “John Black, you are under arrest for the attempted rape and kidnapping of Marlena Brady. You have the right to remain silent…” As he was read his rights, John almost laughed at the ludicrousness of it all. He was innocent, and the man who would hurt Marlena, now had her at his mercy.
Suddenly all his strength had left him. He stopped struggling, not caring what happened to him now that Marlena was lost to him. He let himself be led out to the squad car, his wrists now cuffed in front of him. “Please, you have to stop him. Roman Brady is the one who will hurt Marlena. Don’t let him do this to us…” It was his final plea for the woman he loved. Once he was in jail, he would never escape.
“Get in the car Mr Black…” He felt the pressure of a heavy hand on his head, as the officer tried to push him into the car.
“Never let them catch you. Do what you have to do…” The voice in his head was vague, but the message was clear. For a moment, gone were all thoughts of Marlena and their situation, for suddenly he was somewhere in time before his life as Roman. With the strength of a tiger, John found himself fighting. Ripping his wrists apart, the handcuffs split as easily as if they were plastic.
He let out an almighty roar, transformed into a wild animal, and before he knew what was happening, he had taken out six policemen, and he found himself running as fast as he could into the surrounding woods. In the background, he could hear the shouts of the men as they slowly regained their senses and came after him.
John tried to rationalise it to himself… tried to justify his actions… he tried to tell himself that faced with losing the woman he loved and his freedom, any man would do the same. But John knew better… the kind of strength that he had fighting off the scores of policemen, was beyond his own physical strength. He couldn’t attribute it to anything, except perhaps, a time that he didn’t remember…
***************************
Finally, she is mine, Roman gloated to himself as he settled at his desk. Placing his feet on the desk, he relaxed into his large leather chair. Everything was working out to plan. And when John Black finally was convicted and sent to prison forever, he would be home free. He had managed to convince everyone that John had kidnapped Marlena, after forcing her to help him escape from jail. If only they knew the real truth, Roman found himself seething, recalling the scene that he had walked in on at the cabin.
Marlena’s soft laughter filled the small kitchen, her cheeks flushed a deep pink from the exertion of hers and John’s little game of cat and mouse. “I got ya…” John’s deep voice spoke huskily, as he leant into her sitting on the kitchen counter. “Yes you have,” she whispered, as his lips neared hers. “You will always have me…” Her words were cut off as their lips merged, their tongues entwining magically, as they lost themselves in the bliss of being together.
Of their own volition, Marlena’s legs wrapped around John’s naked waist, her bottom scooting to the very edge of the counter so that their bodies could be as close as possible. John smiled playfully as he moved his lips from hers, Marlena whimpering from the sudden loss of contact. “I was right…” he whispered sexily, as he felt her pressed against him. “All that separates your naked loveliness from me…” he punctuated his words with delicate kisses to her exposed neck. “…Is that oversized shirt.”
“Hmmm, yes, well I didn’t want to get you too excited,” Marlena winked, as his hands moved sneakily towards her top button.“Well my dear, you didn’t succeed. I want you more now than I ever have…”
Not being able to take any more, Roman had chosen that precise moment to stop the romantic interlude on the kitchen bench, by tearing down the happiness that John and Marlena had managed to salvage in the past twenty-four hours.
“Nice work…” Roman was startled from his memory by an unwelcome visitor. There stood Orpheus, his lips turned into a sarcastic smile, clapping his hands lazily. “You managed to pull it off. You took care of John Black and your wife in one go.”
“Orpheus, you can’t be here! What if someone sees you?” Roman rose quickly and closed the curtains, afraid that his visitor might spark the attention of someone else at the station. He turned, and watched as Orpheus made himself comfortable in Roman’s chair, seething as he moved closer to the desk.
“I am impressed you know. I didn’t think that you had it in you… always the weak link in Stefano’s unbreakable chain…” Orpheus couldn’t help goading Roman. Breaking him was the final stage of his plan, because once he got rid of Roman, Marlena would be his for the taking.
“Are you here for a reason?” Roman’s voice was angry, his face red, showing his aggravation. It made Orpheus smile… he was so easy to manipulate.
“So what’s your plan for your wife?” He couldn’t help asking. That was the one part of Roman’s scheme that he couldn’t quite work out.
“That’s none of your concern Orpheus,” Roman spat.
“I guess I will just have to wait and see then… Looking forward to it…”
Her senses were foggy as Marlena tried to focus on her surroundings. Everything blurred in front of her eyes, like her entire world was on a slant. Her head pounded heavily and her breathing rapid. Panic filtered through her, as she realised that only drugs could cause this kind of grogginess, and she attempted to scream to force herself out of this half-conscious state that she found herself in.
An impossibly dry mouth ensured that Marlena’s attempt to scream came out as merely a husky gasp. So instead of fighting the feeling, Marlena simply closed her eyes to block out the raging headache that was threatening to get worse. The drugs would have to wear off sometime, and when they did she would be able to think.
When she opened her eyes a short while later, the world had regained some of it’s focus. Her surroundings were clear, and Marlena gasped in shock when she allowed the meaning of the soft white walls, the hardness of the bed which she lay in, and the lack of genuine colour and warmth in the room. God, she found herself thinking, I couldn’t be… I must be dreaming.
But somehow, even as Marlena stumbled to her bare feet to try the heavy door, and glanced down at the stark white hospital gown which had replaced her clothes, she knew it was true. The pieces of her memory were confused and disordered, remembering Roman and police and being dragged against her will. She remembered a red mahogany desk, and a man in a white coat, and then she remembered John… and the feeling that he was in intense danger almost killed her inside. Marlena placed two cool hands across her forehead, wishing that the drugs would completely wear off, so that she could remember exactly how she had come to be here, but as no enlightenment came, slow, large tears ran slowly down her cheeks.
*****************************
Dr Jones pressed his face against the observation glass, feeling his conscience twinge as he watched the tears flow down her face… Marlena Evans, his newest patient, a renowned psychiatrist… who was no more crazy than he was. At least nowhere near as crazy as Roman Brady, the man who had threatened everything Dr Jones held dear unless he did this.
“There is NO WAY that I would EVER agree to what you are propsing. It’s preposterous.” Dr Jones stared across his desk at Roman Brady, his look one of utter shock that he would even ask such a thing. “Dr Evans is a renowned psychiatrist, Mr Brady, she is protected. No one will ever believe that she is crazy.” He shook his head in wonderment, knowing from the heated look on the other man’s face that he was not getting through. His large mahogany desk was usually a deterrent to people making threats against him, but at this moment, Dr Jones knew that the desk wasn’t going to prevent it this time.
“You forget Dr Jones, Marlena is my WIFE! I can have her committed and nobody can release her except her doctor or myself.” Roman’s voice was low and level, the opposite of his face which continued to twist with rage.
“What will her family and friends think?” He found his hands shaking despite of himself.
“Who cares what they think? They will have no choice to believe us. Marlena has been through a tough few weeks, a tough few years, no one will even blink at her sudden breakdown. I will tell them that there have been signs of it since she came back…”
And an hour later, Captain Roman Brady had walked out of the office with a smile on his face, leaving Dr Jones with a painful and despicable task, which would disturb his sleep for years to come.
At the time, he thought that he could do this, but when he watched the beautiful woman through the glass, the sheer sorrow masked across her face, his resolve weakened. How he wished that somehow he could extract himself from this devil’s bargain and release Marlena Evans. And her screams of protest still reverberated through his ears. No longer able to stand watching her, Dr Jones moved quickly to his office and pressed play on his tape recorder, a tape which he knew he could never stop listening to, as he pictured the scene.
“Nooooo, don’t do this to me Roman…” Her voice was full of panic, striking hazel eyes filled with tears that had run down her cheeks and dried there, the product of hours of crying. Roman stood behind her, his fingers wrapped painfully around her slim upper arms, bruising her pale flesh as he dragged her fighting form into the office. Two staff members accompanied them, one on either side, their spotless lab coats causing further panic in the woman. “Mr Brady,” Dr Jones boomed, expressing his disapproval with the sheer volume of his voice. “We do not manhandle our patients.” Dr Jones watched as her eyes widened in terror, like a wild animal, desperate to escape. Her lips parted, as if she was going to say something, but nothing emerged, as Dr Jones stood and motioned to a comfortable chair. “Have a seat Marlena…” he asked kindly.
“Why am I here?” As she spoke, her voice was soft. “Why don’t you tell me?” Dr Jones playing the part of concerned psychiatrist to a tee.
“I am not crazy…” she whispered, drawing a white hand out to reach for the doctor’s arm, an appeal for understanding. “I am a psychiatrist… I know that I am not crazy.” Lips turned out into a decisive pout. Her decision had been reached. “So I am leaving.” She stood on shaky legs, her portrayed determination shaken slightly by the unwillingness of her legs to move. Glancing at Roman as she turned on her heels, the look which passed between them was one of hatred and loathing… a look that conveyed all of the pain that he had caused her.
Before Marlena could take a step, four hands stopped her, pressing her gently back into the chair. She gulped as she turned her attention back to Dr Jones. “You can’t believe him… Roman Brady is a liar and he is doing this so that he can hurt me. HE is the crazy one… you have to believe me, I know what I am talking about.”
“That’s what she would say.” The look that Marlena threw Roman as he opened his mouth to speak was almost lethal. “I’m afraid Marlena that this is our problem. You see, you of all people would know exactly what to say and not to say to get yourself out of here. So unfortunately, we will have to keep you here until you have proven your sanity.”
The sound of a throat clearing at his office door interrupted his reminiscence. Stopping the tape, Dr Jones looked up to find Roman Brady staring contemptuously back at him. “I hope you have followed my instructions properly,” he spoke from the doorway, his eyes attached to the doctor’s face. “I have!”
“So the first dose of drugs has almost worn off, and I can put my plan into action?” Roman chuckled as the doctor merely nodded wanly.
The Jarlena Journal 
What!? No ! Where is the rest of this!!
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