Whispers in the Dark – by Stephanie Linville

Chapter One

John’s mind is racing as he takes the stairs two at a time. He is frantic to get to her before something happens, before he really loses her, before…

“No!” he shouts out loud, “I’m not gonna let this happen.” He couldn’t let his mind go there. But how had he missed it? How had he missed the torture she’d been going through all this time? He shakes off the guilt for the moment, knowing he will deal with it later. Right now, he must get to her. As he rounds the final landing, he begs her to wait, hoping their supernatural connection will work one more time. “Please Doc, just let me get to you.”

Finally, he bursts through the door to the hospital roof. He stops to look for her, and, for a split second, remembers the last time he was there. Beside him is the wall where he’d projected pictures of their life together. In front of him is where they’d sat and watched them and had strawberries and whipped cream for the last time. The bench is gone now, along with the string lights. All of it returned to the store across the street. He had said goodbye to her then, but once again it hadn’t really been the end for them. He prays this time isn’t either.

Then, he sees her. He’d hoped the police had been wrong, that it wasn’t her on that roof. But they all knew her, recognized her, and he knew they weren’t wrong. Gently, slowly, he takes a couple of steps towards her. She is so close to the edge that it frightens him to his core, but he tries to remain calm so that she will as well. “Hey, Doc, what’s going on up here? I got worried when you wouldn’t answer your phone. Why don’t you come over here to me and we’ll go back downstairs, ok?”

Marlena turns her head slightly towards him. A small part of her wants to run into his arms, but that part is insignificant now. It has been nearly consumed by the part that has been growing inside her mind for months now: the part that told her she wasn’t safe anywhere, that he would always find her no matter how John tried to protect her, and that he would torture her and kill her when he did. “I don’t want to go with you, John. You can’t protect me. You’re the reason I’m here, the reason it’s come to this.”

The idea that he is responsible in some way for the pain Marlena is feeling hits John like a sledgehammer, but he knows he must brush it aside for now and get her off that roof alive. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you sweetheart, and that I missed the signs of what you have been going through. Believe me, I’ll regret that for the rest of my life. But right now, we need to get you inside so that we can help you deal with these feelings and process them. Please, just give me your hand.”

As he reaches out and begins to walk toward her again, she shouts at him. “DON’T come any closer!” She throws up her hand to stop his progression and edges closer to the precipice of the wall where she stands.

John freezes instantly and puts his hands up as well. “Ok, ok, I’m not moving, I promise. But I’m not leaving you up here alone. And if you go off this roof, Doc, I’m going off right after you.”

She stares at him for a moment as she lowers her hand. “Why would you do that?”

John puts his arms down as well and says simply, “Because I love you more than anything in this entire world, and I can’t live without you.”

“How can you say that? All these months, you haven’t stopped him from getting to me once. Not one time have you kept me safe from him terrifying me whenever he wanted. He has come after me time and time again, and you’ve done nothing. How can you say you love me?”

“I do love you, Doc, and I have tried everything possible to help you and keep you safe, but I never realized it was this bad. God, I’m so, so sorry I didn’t know it was this bad.” Tears begin to stream down John’s face as he realizes the full extent of what has happened.

“Orpheus has tried to scare me, kidnap me, even kill me these past four months, and you didn’t know it was this bad?” Marlena’s anger rises as the memories of Orpheus’ terror flash through her mind.

“Doc, Orpheus is in custody in a maximum-security prison in another country. The ISA has seen to that. I’ve shown you the footage of him in his cell. And you know he’s been there for six months in solitary confinement with round-the-clock surveillance. You have been safe all this time, and what you’ve been experiencing hasn’t been real. We’ve talked about this, and you said you understood it. The doctors said you were better and that you had completely recovered.” John is pleading with her, trying to get her back to reality, but he realizes too late that it all must have been a ruse. She was telling everyone what they wanted to hear, and all the while she was suffering in silence. The guilt he was feeling for not seeing it is amplified ten-fold, but again he brushes it aside to deal with later. He has to get her to safety.

Marlena looks at him quizzically. “That’s not possible. He can’t be in prison because I’ve seen him. He’s been in our house, in our bedroom! That’s not possible, John!” She’s becoming agitated and John knows he must keep her calm until he can get her to trust him enough to get to her.

“Ok, you’re right, you’re right. I know you’ve seen him. And I know how much that has scared you. Maybe if we talk it through from the beginning, we can finally figure out how he’s getting to you. What was the very first instance you remember thinking again about Orpheus?”

“We’ve already talked about this, John. You don’t believe me, and you can’t protect me. And I can’t take this anymore.” She turns away and begins to cry.

“I do believe you, Doc. I believe that you are seeing and experiencing everything you’ve ever told me. And I want more than anything to protect you from it and make it stop. I’ve loved you for almost 40 years, and in all those years, not once have I ever stopped trying to get to you. And I’m not stopping now. If you believe I’ve ever loved you, please just give this one more chance. Give me one more chance.”

John’s pleading touches that small part of her that still longs to run to him, that still loves him, and wants to believe he can protect her. She looks at him, and for a split second, she sees the man she’s loved for half her life. And the small part of her that is his gives him one more chance.

“I guess it really started with that patient I had that looked so much like Evan. The one that was burned in the fire. The day I started working with him was the same day I had the first nightmare about Orpheus and Evan trying to burn me alive.”

“Ok,” John says. “Tell me about that day again.”

Chapter Two

Marlena had risen early for work that day. She had so much to catch up on, and she had a full day of patients waiting for her. John had tried to persuade her to go in a bit later, and she was sorely tempted, but she had been feeling overwhelmed with paperwork and other people’s problems lately. More and more she’d thought about cutting back on her caseload, but there were so many people feeling hopeless and lost these days, she just couldn’t abandon them.

She gathered her things and slipped out quietly, so she didn’t disturb anyone. The house was fuller these days and she was grateful, but occasionally she wished she and John lived alone. She was glad to have Brady there, and Rachel was finally getting to visit regularly, but to her, enjoying her grandmotherly years meant being able to babysit often, not necessarily living with them all the time.

As she drove to work, she was passed by an ambulance heading to the hospital. It seemed to be in more of a hurry than usual, so she sped up just in case she could be of some help there. When she arrived, she went straight to the ER and caught Sarah as she ran past. “Sarah, what happened? Can I do anything?”

“A man was brought in badly burned. He was in a car fire,” she said quickly as she continued. “I don’t know all the details.”

Marlena went to see if there were any family with him, or if she could call anyone. She asked the charge nurse where he was and what happened. “He’s in trauma room two. It looked pretty bad from what I saw. Seems he was in the car for several minutes. The horrible thing was that there was a bystander who just stood there and watched him. I think someone said that she could have gotten him out pretty easily, but she just stood there.”

“That’s awful,” Marlena said. “Who was the bystander? Did she know him?”

“I don’t know,” the nurse said. At that moment, a man came running up to the desk. “Where’s my son?? He was in a car fire! Please, I need to see him!”

Marlena put her hand on his arm and said, “Sir, he’s being worked on right now, but you can’t go back. I’m Dr. Evans, I’m a psychiatrist here. Let’s go sit down and wait until they call you back.”

“NO! I have to see him! She’s been stalking him for weeks and she’s the one responsible for this!”

“Who are you talking about?” the nurse asked.

“His girlfriend! Or actually, his ex-girlfriend now. He broke up with her a month ago and she has been stalking him, following him to work, texting him nonstop. He’s been going crazy dealing with her. And finally today, she was following him on the highway while he was going to work and she rammed into the back of his car. That’s why he wrecked and why the car caught fire!”

The man was getting more and more irate as he talked, and Marlena stepped in to help calm him down. “Sir, please tell me your name.”

“David. David Fryar.”

“That sounds like it’s been very stressful for both of you, David. Why don’t we go wait in the lounge and talk until you can see your son?”

“Please, I just want to see him!”

The nurse responded, saying, “You can’t see him until the doctors are finished working on him. He is stable now, and he is in good hands. Please, go talk with Dr. Evans. She’s the best doctor we have here.”

Marlena smiled, and the man acquiesced. They went to the lounge, and he shared with Marlena how his son’s girlfriend had been hounding him and making his life miserable for weeks since the breakup. He told her that his son was on the phone with him this morning and he’d heard everything that had happened, even after he crashed. He’d heard his son begging him to get help, telling him that he was burning in the fire. But the last thing was chilling even to Marlena. His son could see the girlfriend standing outside the car watching him getting consumed by the flames.

“That’s horrible,” Marlena said softly. “I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through that.”

David was pale after reliving it, but said, “It was, but it helped a great deal being able to talk to you about it. Thank you.”

“If you or he need someone to talk to, I am on staff here and would be glad to set up some time.”

“I think that would be really helpful,” he said. “Thank you.” Just then, the charge nurse came in and told David he could go see his son, but just for a few minutes. They were waiting to move him to the burn unit, and he could sit with him in the meantime. David asked Marlena to come with him, and she agreed.

As they walked into trauma 2, Marlena was not struck by the enormity of the burns, or the smell, or all the tubes and wires, but by the patient’s face. Even though much of his body was badly burned, his face was untouched. She stopped cold at the door as she looked upon someone who bore an uncanny resemblance to Evan Frears, also known as Christian Maddox, whom Marlena was forced to raise for a time many years ago. Her reaction was so palpable that David looked at her and asked, “Are you ok?”

Marlena came out of her reverie and said, “Yes, of course. I’m sorry. I’m fine, it’s just that your son looks very similar to someone I know. What is his name?”

“Kevin,” David replied, “Kevin Christian Fryar.”

Marlena smiled and said, “That’s a lovely name.” It was at that moment that something inside of Marlena flickered to life. She was almost unaware of it, but she felt it, nonetheless. A tiny spark of fear had awakened inside her. She had been through many things in her life, survived many things, and overcome many things. She knew she was incredibly strong, but for some reason, this time it was different. For now, she knew she had to push it down and do her job. But she knew it was there. And she was a little bit afraid of it.

Chapter Three

Marlena was completely spent when she finally got in her car that evening to head home. She’d talked with Kevin and David that morning, and when she found out Kevin was an aspiring magician, it unsettled her. She couldn’t pinpoint why, but she politely and hastily left afterward. The rest of her day was a blur of patients, charting, and meetings until right before she’d planned to come home. At ten minutes until five, she got paged to the ER to help deal with two attempted suicides. The girls were high school friends, both beautiful with blonde hair and blue eyes. They reminded her a great deal of how Sami and Belle looked at that age, and she made a mental note to call them soon. She hadn’t seen or spoken to her girls in quite a while, and she was missing them terribly.

After wrapping up with the girls and their families for the evening, it was nearly 8 pm and she’d not had supper, or barely even lunch. All she wanted was to go home, eat some food John had hopefully cooked or ordered, and fall into his arms. 

As she walked down the hallway towards the townhouse, she could hear John’s voice, and Brady’s, yelling at something. She came in to find both ensconced on the couch watching the Cubs losing to the Brewers. It was not a good sign.

“Hi, sweetheart!” John said. “How was work?”

“It was a very long day. How’s the game?”

“Terrible. We don’t have a pitcher and the umpires are blind. Do you want to sit with us and watch?”

“No, I think I’ll just grab something to eat and get a hot shower. Love you.”

“Love you, too,” John said, and they shared a quick peck.

Her hopes for a quiet evening were now dashed, but she was still hoping to get lucky in the kitchen. She looked at the counter and found nothing, and it was the same in the fridge. “John?” she called out.

“Yes, honey,” he responded from the other room.

“Did you get anything for supper?”

“Yeah, Brady and I had food at the pub, thanks!”

Marlena’s head dropped. “Ok, just checking,” she said.

She went to the pantry to get a can of soup but decided she needed the shower first, so she headed to the bedroom and turned on the water almost as hot as it would go. As she stepped into the steamy abyss, she couldn’t shake some of the visions from the day: Kevin, and how much he looked like Evan, the two blonde girls who looked angelic even with remnants of charcoal on their faces, and something about Kevin’s girlfriend watching him in the car. She was very unsettled even after the shower and thought it best to just go to bed.

She crawled in under the covers and fell asleep almost instantly. At first, her dreams were about John: holding his hand, walking with him, and talking in the park. But then they took a dark turn. As they were walking in the park, they came upon some Halloween decorations. The further they walked, the darker it became, and the way was lit with flaming torches instead of streetlamps. As she looked around, she realized that John was no longer walking with her. She was now walking beside someone in a black mask. It startled her and she drew back in fear. “You can’t be real. This is just a dream.”

“This isn’t a dream. This is your worst nightmare.” She knew the voice but couldn’t quite place it. All her instincts told her to run, but at that moment, someone grabbed her from behind. She turned as she struggled and saw it was Evan Frears. As she screamed and fought, Evan dragged her over to a mangled car and shoved her inside. He slammed the door and smiled a sinister grin at her. She looked in the back seat and saw Sami and Belle sitting there with their eyes wide and black lipstick smeared over their mouths. She screamed again and pounded on the windows trying desperately to get out. The masked man leaned down to the window and removed his mask. She froze in terror as she saw it was Orpheus. He laughed as he began pouring gasoline over the car. “NO!” she screamed. “Let me out! You can’t do this! NOOO!” Smoke and flames began rolling and licking around the edges of the windows.

At that moment, she woke up to hear John saying, “Doc, it’s ok, I’m here baby. It’s ok, I’ve got you. You’re ok.” His arms were around her and she could feel she was drenched in sweat. She grabbed him and pulled closer to him as she began to cry.

“Oh God, John, hold me. Hold me, please!” She shut her eyes tight to try and force the images from her mind. Finally, as she became more awake, they began to recede.

“Sweetheart, what in the world were you dreaming? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you have such a nightmare.” John was immensely concerned. In all the nights he’d spent next to her, she’d never scared him like this.

“It was awful. It was Orpheus and Evan, and they were trying to burn me alive.” She buried her face in his shoulder to try and make herself feel safe.

John instantly knew the reference from the earlier time that Orpheus had tried to do exactly that, but he didn’t understand how Evan played into it. After holding her a moment or two he felt her body begin to relax, and he asked gently, “Why would you be dreaming about Evan, too, baby?”

Marlena opened her eyes and sighed deeply, releasing some of the tension and fear. She thought for a moment, and then said, “Probably because there was a patient today who looked so much like him. He was burned in a car fire, and evidently his girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend I should say, was responsible for it. And what’s worse is that she stood by and watched instead of helping him to get out.”

John pulled away a bit so he could look at her. “That’s awful, Doc. Why didn’t you tell me about it when you came home?”

She smiled sheepishly. “You and Brady were having such a good time, and I was so tired I just went on to bed.”

“Well, next time and every time, please talk to me. Baseball is nothing compared to you, you know that.”

Marlena smiled again. “I know, my darling. I know. Can you please just hold me a while?”

“All night, and all of eternity my love.” He kissed her deeply and pulled her tight against him. She knew now that she was safe, and everything would be ok. 

John held her all night that night, and Marlena slept peacefully. But the seed of fear had been planted and began to grow more the very next day.

Chapter Four

Sunlight was barely streaming through the bedroom window as Marlena began to wake. The nightmare from the night prior was in the back of her mind but being wrapped in John’s embrace all night had helped it fade. She reached for him but found nothing but cold sheets. This made her rouse quickly and call out, “John?”

“Right here, baby.” He was sitting in the chair next to the bed lacing up his shoes. He was fully dressed, and Marlena could see a packed bag beside him.

“Where are you going?” she asked. She really did not want to be away from him right now, even more so than usual.

“I got a call from Shane about thirty minutes ago. They’ve had a major incident in Stockholm, and they need me to come right away.”

Something about that sent shivers down Marlena’s back, and she became nervous. “Do you have to go? Right now? Can’t they send someone else?”

“Unfortunately not, sweetheart. I know a lot about all their concerns there, as you know, and they really need me specifically. I don’t think I’ll be gone for long, but I probably won’t be able to communicate much. This is pretty far undercover.” He got up from the chair and sat next to her on the bed. “I promise I’ll be careful, though, as always, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Marlena was worried about him, yes, but it was more of a need for him not to leave her rather than a fear for his safety. “I know you will, of course, but I really wish you wouldn’t go right now.” She tried not to interfere with his work, but something in her was almost desperate for him to stay.

John picked up on it, especially after the nightmare, and asked, “Are you ok, sweetheart? You gave me a scare last night, and it’s not like you to actually ask me not to go work on something. What’s going on?”

She couldn’t explain it and didn’t understand it herself. “I just need you to stay,” she said quietly as a couple tears fell softly down her cheek. “I don’t really know why. Maybe I’m just overly tired. Work has been so hard lately, especially these last few days.” She was beginning to feel a little silly for being so needy and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be so childish about this.”

He wrapped his arms around her again and pulled her close. “Don’t ever apologize for needing me, my love. You are always my first and most important priority. I can tell them no if you want, it doesn’t matter to me.”

She felt much better hearing him say that and told him that she would be ok until he got back. He said it wouldn’t be long, and he would do his best to communicate if at all possible. He also made a mental note to text the kids before he left and ask them to make a special effort to at least check in or visit if they could while he was gone.

He sat there a bit longer with her until he felt reasonably sure she was ok and left her with a lingering kiss before walking out the door. Once he was gone, she decided to get up as well and went to shower.

John texted the kids’ group chat while he was being driven to the airport: “Morning kids. Hope you all are well. I’m heading out to a job for a while, so I need you to text/call/visit your mom while I’m gone. She’s been a little out of sorts, so please check in on her for me. Give the kids hugs and snuggles from Grandpa John. Love you all.” He hoped they would help brighten Marlena’s days and keep her spirits up while he was gone.

As Marlena headed to work, she realized she was becoming preoccupied with some of the images from her nightmare the night before, and images of being in the coffin set on fire by Orpheus mixed in with her thoughts. She did her best to distract herself, but the thoughts were becoming almost intrusive. She arrived at work and her phone beeped as she was walking through the parking deck. It was a text from John: “Just about to take off. I love you more than anything, my love, and can’t wait to get back to you. Miss me while I’m gone.” Tears came to her eyes again. “You have no idea,” she whispered softly. That little spark of fear was back again, but she dismissed it, dried her tears, and headed towards the elevator, determined to get through the day.

After putting her belongings in her office, she went in to see how Kevin was faring. The nurses said he’d had a difficult night, which Marlena related to all too well, but was now sound asleep. She saw David coming down the hall and spoke to him outside Kevin’s door. “How is everything this morning?”

“Not well,” David replied. It seemed that Kevin’s girlfriend had disappeared after the accident, and the police had no leads. “Can you believe she might get away with this? That she won’t be punished, and he will just have to deal with the fallout from this on his own?”

Another flash of Orpheus went through Marlena’s mind. He was not punished for what he did to her either. “That’s really terrible, David. I hope they get a lead soon, and I hope Kevin has a good day. Let me know when you want to schedule some time.”

“I will. And thank you, Dr. Evans.”

“Any time.” Marlena went towards her office but got paged to the ER before she could get there. She came down to find a woman who had been trapped in a building collapse. Marlena had heard about it on the news but there were no survivors expected. She had been trapped for three days before being found and was beginning to become hysterical as they tried to treat her wounds. The doctors had given her medicine to calm her, but it didn’t seem to work, so Marlena had been called to see if she could help.

“Please, please, I just want out of here. I can’t breathe, and I just need to get outside! Please! Please just let me go! I need to get outside!”

Marlena began talking to the patient whose name was Allison. “It’s ok, you’re safe here. I promise you’re safe here, Allison. Nothing is going to happen. The doctors need to treat your injuries, and you can’t walk anywhere right now. Please, try to listen to me and breathe deeply. I promise it’s going to be ok.”

“NO! You have no idea what happened to me! Please, let me go! I need to go!”

She kept fighting and twisting against the restraints the doctors had put on, which made her more agitated. “Actually, Allison, I know exactly what you went through. Listen to me. I was trapped once, and for a lot longer than three days, ok? I made it out safely and was just fine.”

Allison paused for a moment, along with many of the staff who didn’t know this had happened to her. “You were trapped too? When?”

“It was several years ago. I was trapped in a building that was going to be demolished and I didn’t think I would get out in time, but I did, and everything turned out ok.” This was a very simplistic recollection of what happened to her, but she was trying to keep it positive for the sake of her patient.

Allison began to calm down and allowed the doctors to treat her. Marlena stayed with her, and even went with her when they admitted her to a room. Once she was there, Allison relaxed some and began talking about what happened to her. “It was just so dark down there, you know? And rats were crawling everywhere. I was so scared no one would hear me, and no matter how I yelled, no one did. I was sure I was going to die down there.”

Marlena became unsettled again the more Allison spoke. Memories of the pit were flooding her mind, and how scared she was before John found her. Finally, she felt herself shaking and said, “You’ll have to excuse me, please. I’ll be back in a moment.” 

She got up quickly and hurried to the bathroom where she splashed some cold water on her face. As she rose up and looked in the mirror, she saw Orpheus standing behind her. She screamed and turned around quickly, but he was gone. Her heart was racing, and she felt dizzy, so she tried to walk to the nurse’s station, but she fainted just as she made it out of the bathroom.

When she came to, she was in an exam room and Kayla was standing next to her. “You gave us a bit of a scare, there, Marlena. What happened?”

Not wanting to admit that she might have hallucinated, she said that she hadn’t been sleeping well and perhaps she had forgotten to eat breakfast. Kayla admonished her for not eating and asked if she thought a prescription for some sleeping pills might help.

“Yes. That might be helpful. Kayla, could you write me a script for Zyprexa?”

Kayla was concerned about Marlena’s request. “That’s an anti-psychotic drug, Marlena. It’s a little overkill don’t you think?”

“Perhaps, but I’ve also been having some pretty strange dreams, and I just thought it might work for both things.”

“Well, I’m sure you know more than I do about any psychiatric diagnosis. Just make sure you watch how you take it, ok? And check in with me next week as well. Is there anything else you need, or want to talk about? Having strange dreams doesn’t seem like you.”

Marlena hesitated, but Kayla had been a friend for a long time, and she trusted her to be discreet. “Do you ever think about Orpheus and what he did to us?”

Kayla is a bit surprised by the question. “No, honestly, I don’t. I don’t ever want to think about him again.”

“But we never really got to deal with what he did, and he was never punished for it.”

“No, he wasn’t. And yes, we did have to go on with our lives without much time to process it. But Marlena, that was years ago. Why are you bringing it up now? We dealt with all that a long time ago.”

“You’re right. It was a long time ago…”

Chapter Five

Marlena returned home that evening exhausted once again. And again, her hopes for a quiet evening were dashed as soon as she walked in the door and saw Brady waiting for her on the couch. “Oh, good, I’m glad you’re home, Marlena. I need to talk with you about something.” 

Wanting to just get some food and relax, Marlena asked, “Could we maybe talk tomorrow? I’m a bit tired.”

“This won’t take but a minute, I promise,” Brady said.

Marlena let out a small sigh and sat down. “Ok, what did you need to talk about?”

“I’ve found a place for me and Rachel and we’re going to be moving out in a couple of days!” Brady seemed to be very happy about this, but the look on Marlena’s face told a different story. “Aren’t you pleased? I know we’ve been under your feet for way too long. I thought you’d be happy.” He remembered what his dad had said about her being out of sorts and could see why he thought so.

“No,” Marlena said, forcing a smile, “I am happy for you, sweetheart. I just wasn’t expecting it to happen quite so all of a sudden.” She was already feeling nervous with John out of town, but with Brady leaving as well, there would be no one in the house with her. That thought amplified her nervousness into apprehension. But why was she feeling scared about being by herself? She tried to push it away, but it was becoming more difficult.

“Well, I can try to postpone it a bit if you want, maybe until Dad comes back?” Brady was trying to be helpful and look out for her like John had asked.

“No, darling, I don’t want to mess up any of your plans. And we don’t know exactly when your father will be back so there’s no sense in just being in limbo.” Saying that out loud added to Marlena’s apprehension. “You just let me know how I can help. But right now, I really need to get some rest, ok?”

“Sure, Mom. There’s some dinner left in the fridge for you.”

She smiled at him and said lovingly, “Thank you, my darling.” She put her hand to his face, and he put his on top of it, smiling back at her.

After supper and a shower, Marlena read a bit before going to sleep. She had taken the medicine Kayla prescribed and was already getting sleepy. She prayed that there would be no nightmares again and fell into a deep sleep.

Almost at once, she was dreaming about fighting with Roman about a painting, and a dark-haired woman who was trying to destroy it. She asked the woman why she was trying to destroy the painting, and the woman pushed her away as they argued. She felt herself falling and falling and finally she landed in a den of rats. She got up and ran away from them towards a door. When she opened the door, she was pushed from behind and locked in a small room. Then she heard her dead twin sister talking to her from outside the door. “Well, look at that! Marnie’s locked in the closet again!” Samantha laughed haughtily at her sister’s condition.

“Sam??” Marlena shouted in her dream. “Sam, please let me out!” She banged on the door and pulled on the handle to try and pry it open.

“Why?” Sam asked sarcastically. “Are you going to tell on me again?”

“No, I won’t tell! I promise I won’t tell. Just please let me out! I don’t like it in here!”

“Well, ok, just this once,” and Samantha opened the door. Marlena ran out of the closet and started looking for a way out of where they were, but all she saw was a dim light on the ceiling very high above them. “What are you looking for?” Samantha asked her.

“How do we get out of here?” Marlena was frantic. “I hate being closed up like this!”

“Yeah, I remember. You would cry like a baby when I’d lock you in the closet.” Samantha’s face twisted with a smirky, distorted grin, terrifying Marlena even more.

Marlena began to tear up at the memory of it. “Why would you do that to me when you knew it scared me so?”

“I don’t know why you’re so upset about it now, Marnie. You got your revenge on me pretty good, I’d say.” Samantha’s eyes narrowed as she became angry.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m dead because of you. It’s all your fault, you mealy-mouthed little wimp! I came back to your apartment, and he thought I was you. He killed me because he wanted to kill you!!”

Marlena began to scream as Samantha continued to torture her about being dead because of her. Finally, Marlena was jolted awake by Brady calling out to her. “Mom, please wake up! Please, please wake up! It’s ok, I’m here! You’re ok! There’s no one here but us. It’s alright!”

Marlena opened her eyes and saw Brady there, in her room, trying desperately to wake her. She was again drenched in sweat, and Brady’s eyes were wide with fear from seeing her this way. She’d stopped screaming, but her heart was pounding. “Brady?” she asked as her senses began to return.

“Yes! Oh God, Mom, are you ok? I heard you screaming from upstairs, and I ran down here as fast as I could. I thought someone had broken in or something.”

Marlena sat up in the bed still a bit dazed. “You heard me all the way upstairs?”

“Yes, you were screaming at someone to let you out and that it wasn’t your fault or something. What in the world were you dreaming?”

The images were still crystal clear in her mind, but she didn’t want to startle Brady any more than she already had. “Well, I..I think it was about the time I was trapped in that building. I had a patient today who was also trapped that way and it probably just set off some bad memories. I’m ok, sweetheart, no need to worry.”

But Brady was quite worried. Marlena was always so strong and steadfast no matter what happened and seeing her like this not only concerned him but almost unnerved him. “I think I should probably delay the move until Dad is back home. I don’t think you need to be alone right now.”

“That’s so sweet of you, darling, and I really do appreciate how much you love me and worry about me. But this was just a fluke thing brought on by tiredness and a large caseload at the moment. I just need some rest and I’ll be ok I promise.”

“We can talk about it tomorrow. Right now, I think you need to try and relax and get some sleep. Can I get you anything?” Brady was still very concerned.

“No, I will take one of those sleeping pills Kayla prescribed. I’m sure that will help. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Brady said as he let himself out of her room.

Marlena knew full well she’d already taken one pill but took another anyway in the hopes of putting herself deeply to sleep. She prayed that there would be no more nightmares that night, and fortunately, there weren’t. But her sleep was not restful, and her dreams, though she didn’t remember them, were not pleasant. Tomorrow would turn out not to be much better.

Chapter Six

Brady awoke early the next morning, thankful that it was Saturday and hoping Marlena could sleep in. The night before had troubled him so much he didn’t fall asleep for several hours. He was so used to envisioning Marlena as their rock but seeing her so clearly terrified had shaken him. He’d never really known her to be vulnerable except with his dad. Remembering that John was on assignment somewhere and out of communication with her, he felt sure that was adding to her stress. Not wanting to worry John, he decided not to tell him exactly what happened, but it was so out of character for Marlena that he felt his dad should know something. Calling him did not work, so Brady texted instead: “Hey Dad, hope everything is going ok there. Just wanted to let you know that Marlena had a bad nightmare last night. She does seem out of sorts, but I’m looking after her. Will probably hold off on moving just yet unless she throws me out LOL. Call her if you can. Stay safe. Love Brady.”

The rest of the weekend was fairly benign, and thankfully Marlena had a reprieve from nightmares for a couple of nights. She did end up throwing Brady out of the house, determined not to change his plans or let on just how much she ended up wishing he would stay. The meds seemed to be helping, and she felt better after a couple of nights of better rest. She was missing John terribly and texted him to at least feel some connection to him: “Missing you, my love. Hoping you’re safe and well taken care of. Can’t wait to feel your arms around me again, and all the other parts of you as well. Come home soon. All my love, always. M”

Monday morning came and Marlena felt almost refreshed as she set out for work. The house was quiet, and she felt a bit lonely, but sleep and rest had helped her mood immensely. That took a turn, however, when she started talking to some of the nurses on the fourth floor.

“Are you excited about your trip?” she heard one of them say as she walked up to the station.

“Trip?” Marlena asked. “Who’s going on a trip?”

“Michelle is! She and her husband have been saving for months to go and it’s finally happening this week. They’re leaving on Wednesday.”

“Oh, my, Michelle, that sounds exciting,” Marlena said. “Where are you going?”

“Paris!” Michelle exclaimed. “We’ve saved for this trip for over a year, and I cannot wait to go. We’ll be exploring the Paris Underground, too. The catacombs there are so interesting and mysterious. Have you ever been to Paris, Dr. Evans? It’s such a beautiful city!”

“Uhm, yes, actually I have.” Her voice trailed off and for a moment, Marlena was back in Paris, remembering a golden birdcage, a trial, and a guillotine. She was fighting to get to John before it was too late.

“Dr. Evans? Are you alright?” Marlena snapped back to the present and realized the nurses had worried looks on their faces. They’d never seen her look so afraid and fearful before.

“Yes, of course, I’m fine. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get distracted. I have been to Paris, but it was a long time ago. And it is a beautiful city.” Even though she had been there since that time, and knew it was a beautiful city, she couldn’t shake the memories of the first time.

“Wouldn’t you love to go back?” Michelle asked.

“Maybe one day,” Marlena said quietly. “But now, I must go check on some patients. I hope you have a wonderful trip, Michelle. Be safe.”

“Thanks, Dr. Evans.” The nurses looked at each other as Marlena walked away. “I hope she’s doing ok,” Michelle said. “I’ve never seen her look so nervous before.”

Marlena headed to her office for her first appointment, trying to shake visions of strange Parisians and guillotines from her mind. She sat down at her desk and was still rattled. “Come on, Marlena. Get yourself together. That was a long time ago.” She knew she had been more unsettled than normal, but she didn’t realize yet what was happening to her.

And then, almost as a whisper, her Fear spoke to her. It was a long time ago, but it still haunts you. It’s never gone away.

Marlena felt a chill go down her back. She could not hear her Fear clearly, for it had not gained a hold on her yet. But it was growing, and she knew it.

A knock on her door brought her back again to reality. “Come in,” she said.

“Hi, Dr. Evans, am I too early?” It was Marlena’s 10:00 appointment, a man named Stephen Donner. He was a new patient referred to her by a colleague.

“No, not at all. Please come in.” Marlena stood up and put on her game face. She would not allow whatever was bothering her to interfere with work. “Please, have a seat.” She motioned towards the chair in front of her desk and sat down as Stephen sat down.

“Thanks so much for seeing me. I know you have a very full caseload.”

“Of course, anything for a friend. Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself before we start?”

Stephen smiled pleasantly. “Ok, well, I’m a financier and I just moved to Salem about a month ago. Before that, I was living in Chicago. That was where I was meeting with your counterpart.”

“Of course,” Marlena smiled. The small talk was helping ease her mood.

“I had lived there for about ten years, having moved there right after graduating from business school. But originally, I’m from New Orleans. My family owned the Maison Blanche department store there. I guess that’s where I got my desire at a young age to go into business. Have you heard of that store, Dr. Evans? It’s pretty historic, I think.”

Suddenly, Marlena began to feel faint, and the room started to spin. All she could see was a dungeon and John drinking poison soup. She could almost feel Stefano’s hands on her, ravaging her skin and pulling at her clothing. Nausea began to overtake her and she feared she might retch then and there.

“I…I’m so sorry, but I…please excuse me.” Marlena got up and rushed out of her office to the bathroom in the hallway outside. She nearly threw up on the floor, but fortunately made it into a stall before heaving all her breakfast into the toilet. She threw up again and again until there was nothing left, and she was sitting on the floor cold and clammy.

For a moment she sat there, trying to work up the strength to stand. But there were so many visions flowing in and out of her head, she couldn’t move. Cages, fancy dresses, missing her children, playing chess with Stefano, all of it swirled and danced like a fever dream inside her head. Marlena tried to steady herself but to no avail. She became sick and dry-heaved again. “Oh God, Please, stop this,” she cried out. “Please……”

Just then a nurse walked into the bathroom and saw her on the floor crying. “Oh my gosh, Dr. Evans, are you ok?” 

Marlena moaned a little and looked up slowly. “Please help me.”  

Chapter Seven

“Janine, did she tell you why she was feeling so sick? Did something prompt it or was she just overcome?” Kayla was quizzing the nurse who found Marlena in the bathroom. They were both concerned and were trying to get to the bottom of what was wrong.

“No, she just asked me to help her. It was clear that she had thrown up everything in her stomach. Plus, she was so weak she could barely stand or speak.”

Right then, Stephen Donner came up to the two of them and asked, “Excuse me, is Dr. Evans ok? We were in a session, and she just ran out. She didn’t look well.”

“She seems to be feeling better, but we’re not sure what happened. Can you tell us anything you noticed before she left?”

“Well, honestly, I’d only been in there about five minutes. She seemed ok when I sat down, but while we were making small talk, she got very pale and excused herself.”

“And she didn’t mention anything about not feeling well before that?” Kayla asked.

“Not a thing,” he replied.

“Well, thank you for checking on her,” Kayla said. “I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“Sure. No problem.” Stephen Donner left, not having any idea how important ‘Maison Blanche’ actually was.

“OK, Janine, just keep pushing the fluids and the Zofran. Maybe she just has a bad stomach flu, but just to be safe run a CBC and a chem panel as well.”

“Yes, Dr. Johnson. Right away.” Janine hurried to get the blood for the tests.

Steve had told Kayla that John was out of the country, so she called Brady to let him know what had happened. Brady came to the hospital right away to check on Marlena.

When he arrived, he found Kayla first and got up to speed on Marlena’s condition. She was feeling better thanks to some fluids, but the bloodwork showed nothing. “Have you noticed anything else going on with her Brady? I don’t know what could be causing this.” Kayla was frustrated she couldn’t find any answers. “I mean, it’s the second time in a week something has happened.”

“Wait, what do you mean the second time?” Brady had no idea anything out of the ordinary had been going on.

“Well, she fainted last week and now she’s weak and throwing up. I can’t help but think they’re connected in some way.”

“She never mentioned any of that to me,” Brady responded. “But, then again, she wouldn’t.”

“That’s true. I just don’t know what’s happening.”

In the meantime, Marlena had fallen asleep in the exam room. Images began to take shape in her mind as her Fear began to create more harrowing dreams. First, she was wearing a beautiful and elaborate gown, but she was tied up with golden ropes in a cage. The cage was decorated with Queen of the Night lilies everywhere. Then she saw John marching past her cage, led by faceless soldiers, to a guillotine. She struggled to get free, but the ropes cut into her skin. She screamed but nothing came out, and John seemed almost lifeless as Stefano locked him into place. “See, Marlena, I always win. Your John cannot save you from me!” Stefano laughed menacingly as the blade fell and Marlena closed her eyes and screamed. A moment later she opened them again, but the scene had changed. She was sitting beside Stefano now on a couch in an old mansion. A small chalice sat on the end table next to them with some pale-yellow liquid inside. She tried to get him to drink it, but he became angry and flung it across the room. Knowing that the drink in the chalice would have saved her, she got up and tried to run away. But he grabbed her and pulled her back down. He began pawing and pulling at her clothes as she tried to fight him off. She screamed out for John, but he didn’t come. Stefano continued to tear at her clothes, and just as he was about to rip them off, Marlena was jolted awake by Brady and Kayla.

“Marlena, wake up! Please wake up! You’re ok, Stefano is dead. Everything is ok.” Kayla was surprised at the ferocity of Marlena’s dream.

Marlena sat straight up in the bed, her eyes wide with fear. At first, she didn’t realize where she was and resisted. “NO! Get off me! You can’t! Don’t touch me!”

“Mom, it’s ok, it’s me, Brady.” He held onto her shoulders and looked into her eyes, hoping to help her come out of it.

“Brady?” she said breathlessly.

“Yes, Mom, it’s me. You’re ok. You’re in the hospital with me and Kayla. Stefano isn’t here.”

“Stefano?” She realized they must have heard her screaming.

“Yes, you were screaming at him to leave you alone. You were screaming for Dad, too. Do you not remember?”

Marlena remembered clearly but was afraid to admit it. She felt like she was beginning to unravel, and her Fear was continuing to strengthen. She wanted to hide what was happening to her because if she didn’t acknowledge it, it wouldn’t be real.

“No, I don’t really remember anything. I’m sorry I frightened you. I’m ok now, really.” Her heart had stopped pounding, and she was calming a bit, but she was far from ok.

“That’s the second time that I know of you’ve had a nightmare like this, and it’s so unlike you. Are you sure you’re ok?” Brady is worried that his mother is not alright.

“Yes, darling, I’m fine. Someone was talking about Paris today and it probably brought back bad memories.”

“And that’s the second time that’s happened, too. Mom, what’s going on?”

“Hold on, you’ve been having nightmares about bad memories? Does this have anything to do with that conversation we had about Orpheus the other day?” Kayla was beginning to think there was much more going on than Marlena was letting on.

“Well, I…” Marlena stumbled with her words, not knowing how to hide what was happening to her.

“Is that why you wanted me to prescribe you an anti-psychotic drug? Marlena, you need to tell me the truth!” Kayla knew now there was more to it but could not help Marlena if she didn’t have all the information.

“Yes,” Marlena answered quietly. “These nightmares are fairly intense, and I thought the medicine would make them go away. I don’t know what’s causing them, but I really feel it’s related to my huge caseload and some strange coincidences of late. That’s it. Just this weekend, I felt much better when I got some rest. I’m sure that’s all it is.” Marlena tried hard to sound convincing, maybe also to convince herself she was right.

Kayla trusted her friend to be honest and knew that Marlena was both strong and intelligent, especially when it came to psychiatric conditions. “Ok, then. Maybe we just need to up your dosage a little, and maybe you need to take a few days off.”

Marlena protested immediately. “Kayla, there is no way I can take a few days off. I’m already behind as it is…”

But Kayla interjected, “No, I am telling you as your friend and as Chief of Staff that you are officially on leave for the rest of the week. I want you to take two pills a day instead of one, and I want you to promise me you will rest while you’re off.”

Marlena knew she had lost this battle, especially when Brady said, “You heard her. Let’s get your things and I’m taking you home.”

She looked at both of them and said, “Ok, I know when I’m whipped. I’ll go get my things from my office.”

“That’s a good girl,” Brady said. “I’ll be right here when you get back.”

Marlena went into her office and started gathering her things together. She heard the door open behind her and said, “I’m almost ready, Brady, just give me a second.”

“Not…..Brady,” a man’s voice responded coolly.

Marlena swung around instantly, knowing that voice all too well. “Orpheus,” she whispered.

“In the flesh. Good to see you again…Doc.” Orpheus smirked as “Doc” rolled off his tongue with a familiarity Marlena found exceedingly unsettling.

“Don’t call me that. Ever. What do you want?” She was afraid, but her anger was stronger.

“I just…wanted to pay you a visit, you know? I’ve missed you. How are you and the kids?” Marlena knew it was a not-so-veiled threat.

“We’re all perfectly wonderful, thank you. And how about you and your kids? How are they?”

Marlena knew Orpheus’ relationship with his kids was tenuous at best, and she hoped the shot landed where she wanted.

“They’re great, thanks,” he responded sarcastically. She was a worthy adversary, and he knew it. “By the way, I hope John is doing well, too. Isn’t he in Stockholm right now?”

Marlena’s face flushed, but she tried not to give anything away. “No, he’s waiting for me to come home. I’m leaving a little early so we can have some time together.”

“Now, come on Doc, you know better than to lie to me. I always know the answer to a question before I even ask it. John is in Stockholm, Brady has moved out of your townhouse, and you are completely…alone.” A sly grin spread across Orpheus’ face, and Marlena’s Fear began to rise.

“Fine. So, you know. You also know that if you lay one finger on me, John will hunt you to the ends of the earth and destroy you.” The thought of John killing Orpheus gave Marlena courage, and Fear grew a tiny bit smaller.

“Oh, I am not interested in harming you. Not that way, anyway.”

What does that mean? Fear asked.

Marlena looked at him quizzically. Orpheus continued. “Let’s just say I have friends in Stockholm…and various other places as well. Places that you’re familiar with. Places where you’ve visited your children, perhaps?”

Marlena was now furious. “You listen to me, if you think you’re going to do anything to my family or anyone I love, you are sadly mistaken.”

“We’ll see about that. It just depends on you.” Orpheus was weaving his web and Marlena was unfortunately falling into it.

“Me? How?”

“As long as you keep quiet about seeing me, no one will get hurt. They don’t know that I’ve escaped, and I want to keep it that way.”

“So why make yourself known to me in the first place? Why not just crawl back under that rock you lived under for so long?”

“Like I said, I’ve missed you. So, let’s just keep this between us, and no one gets hurt, ok?”

“Go to hell!”

“That’s my girl.” Orpheus smiled and slinked back out the door as Marlena sat back on to her desk. She let out a huge sigh and wished mightily that John would hurry home. He hadn’t responded to her text, which meant he couldn’t, which also meant he would be gone longer than she thought.

Just then, Brady came in and said, “Hey, I thought you were just getting your stuff so we could go?” She’d been gone for ten minutes, and he was concerned.

“Yes, I’m sorry. The phone rang as soon as I got in here and I got distracted. Let’s go.”

They walked out the door hopeful that a few days of rest would be just what Marlena needed. Neither of them realized then it was the worst possible thing that could happen.

Chapter Eight

As Marlena and Brady walked into the townhouse, Brady’s phone rang. He looked at it and said, “It’s Belle.”

Marlena tried to tell him not to say anything to Belle about her recent time in the hospital, but he ignored her and put the phone on speaker. “Hey there, Tink, what’s up?”

“Not much, I just wanted to check in with you and see how Mom was after that nightmare she had the other night.” Marlena glared at Brady, making it clear she wasn’t happy he’d told her.

“Not great, to be honest. It seems she’s been fainting at work, and today she got so sick she threw up and then had another nightmare while she was sleeping in the exam room.” Marlena tried to grab the phone from Brady, but he easily kept it out of her reach. “And Kayla made her take the rest of the week off to get some rest.”

“Oh my gosh, Brady, what in the world is wrong with her? Is she ok now?”

“Well, she’s right here, so why don’t you ask her yourself?” Brady held the phone near her so she could speak to Belle. She gave him another glare, but he was adamant that she should speak, so he moved the phone even closer.

Reluctantly, Marlena said, “Hello sweetheart, how are you?”

“I’m fine, Mom,” Belle said, “the question is, how are you and why haven’t you told me anything about how bad you’ve been feeling?”

Marlena paused a moment, trying to think of how best to phrase what had been happening, but Belle wouldn’t have it. “Mom, I’m waiting.”

“Honestly, I just didn’t want to worry anyone. I was dizzy from not eating breakfast and having a long day, and today I felt nauseous very quickly and ended up being sick.” Marlena was seriously downplaying everything because she didn’t want Belle to worry, and she didn’t want hint that anything else might be wrong.

“That’s not everything, Mom,” Brady said. “You’ve also had at least two bad nightmares that scared the hell out of me. What about that?”

“Like I told Kayla, I am tired and stressed from a heavy caseload, and several coincidental things were happening close together that brought up memories of past events. The juxtaposition of all of that was what brought on the nightmares.”

“Is that all?” Belle asked. “I mean, is that all there is to it? You’re not keeping anything from us are you?”

Yes, Fear said. But I can’t tell you or he’ll hurt you. He’ll hurt all of you.

“No, sweetheart, of course not. If it were anything serious, I would tell you.”

“Promise?” Belle asked.

“There is nothing seriously wrong with me, darling. I’m just in need of some rest. Maybe a few days off will do me some good.”

“Ok, but if you need anything or anything changes, I’m on the first flight there. I mean it Mom, you need to tell me the truth, ok?”

“I will Belle. I will.” Marlena hid her feelings well, and Belle seemed satisfied. “Give my love to Shawn and Claire and tell them I miss them terribly.”

I miss you and John so much. I wish he were here. Everything would be ok if he were here.

“We miss you too, Mom. We will be home soon for a visit.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Tink, I’ll keep you informed as well. I love you.”

“Love you too, Brady. Talk to you soon.”

Brady hung up the phone and looked at Marlena as she furrowed her brow at him again. “I don’t appreciate being thrown under the Belle bus like that, Brady.”

“I know, and I’m sorry, but in this case, I felt like I had to. We love you, but we know how often you keep things like this to yourself and push through them. You don’t have to do that, you know. We are all here for you and want to help you in every way we can.”

Marlena felt better knowing her children loved her so much. But she still had to protect them from Orpheus, especially with John being incommunicado. All she could say was, “Thank you, sweetheart. That means a great deal to me.”

Just then, Marlena’s phone rang. She looked at it, and said, “Oh my gosh, I’m in hell for real now.” Brady looked at her questioningly. She answered the phone and said, “Hi, Sami.”

After rehashing all her medical concerns with Sami and receiving the same admonishment to take care of herself, Marlena said goodbye to Sami and sent Brady home. At that point, she was ready to put her feet up. Dealing with Orpheus was bad enough, but also getting grilled by three of her children took the wind out of her sails. She spent the afternoon sitting on the couch reading and catching up on a little bit of work that she could do from home. Dinner time came and she ordered some Italian food and watched an old movie. She was almost feeling normal except for the lingering feeling of needing John to come home, but she finally slept peacefully after putting on one of his T-shirts as a nightgown.

The next morning, she was eating breakfast and there was a knock at the door. She wondered who would be stopping by this early. As soon as she opened the door, she was nearly toppled by Orpheus shoving his way in.

Oh no, not him again, Fear said.

“What do you want? And how did you get past the security?” Marlena was frightened but tried to stay calm.

“Just wanted to say hello,” Orpheus said. He could see she was shaking a little. “You seem a bit jittery Doc, is everything ok?”

“Yes, I’m fine. And I told you NOT to call me that.”

“I don’t frighten you, do I?” Orpheus was pleased he was making Marlena nervous.

Yes. Please just go.

“No, of course not.” Marlena tried to keep a brave face.

“Must be hard without John here to protect you.”

It’s getting harder every day.

“I can protect myself, you know. John has taught me well.”

“Yes, but things are so much better for you when John’s around.”

“Of course, I love having my husband around, but that’s not your point, is it?”

“No, it isn’t. You need him to protect you. You’re not safe without him, are you?”

No, I’m not. Fear was beginning to get stronger. Marlena was almost aware of it now.

She was reaching the end of her patience and her ability to keep herself calm. “Enough of this. Either tell me what you want or get out.”

“Fine, I’ll go….For now. But just remember, Doc, I can get to you any time, any place, in any way I want to. So, no tricks, no cops, and no John. Got it?”

“Get….Out.”

Orpheus left and Marlena locked the door behind him. Why was he doing this to her? She couldn’t understand it, except for the pleasure it brought him to torture her. She thought about John and wished he would come home. She checked her phone, and still had no response from him. She texted him again: “Hi love. I’m missing you so much. I need to feel you next to me, darling. Please come home soon. I love you. M”

She sat down on the couch to try and figure out what to do with her day since she was forced to be home. She laid her head back and closed her eyes. Orpheus’ words began to ring in her head: “You’re not safe without him, are you?”

“No,” Fear said. “I’m not.” And this time, she heard it.

Marlena got up from the couch and double checked that the door was locked. She called down to the building manager’s office to make sure the security guards were in place. She went around the townhouse checking windows and doors. Visions of being kidnapped over and over were running through her mind. Scenes of nearly being strangled to death with a necktie danced in her head. Too many times, things had happened to her when John wasn’t there. Just like right now.

“He’s not here to keep me safe. Orpheus can get to me any time he wants.”

Fear was starting to take hold within her, and Marlena felt herself beginning to panic. “God, what is happening to me?” She was shaking again so she sat down and made herself try to breathe, to make the visions stop, but they wouldn’t. What had been happening in nightmares was now occurring while she was awake, and that frightened her even more. She had always been able to conquer her fear with the strength of her mind and her intelligence. But now, her mind was the very thing that was turning on her. Why hadn’t she seen what was happening to herself? She realized she needed help, and the only person she could think of was Kimberly.

Kimberly was a great counselor and had helped Marlena countless times in the past to work through her feelings when they began to cloud her judgment. She picked up her phone and made the call, but it went to voicemail. She left a message for Kim to call her as soon as possible. 

Chapter Nine

Marlena worked hard to keep busy until she heard from Kimberly. Finally, that evening, Kim called her. “Hey, Marlena! I was hoping to hear from you since our husbands are out of the country together. I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I’ve been swamped all day. How are you?”

Marlena could barely hold back tears. “I’m not sure, Kim.”

Kimberly was immediately concerned. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know exactly. I’m tired and stressed from work. I’ve been having nightmares about things that have happened in the past and Kayla has made me take the rest of the week off….”

“Nightmares?” Kimberly interrupted. “For how long?”

“A few days.”

“Days?? Marlena, you don’t sound like yourself at all. Why didn’t you call me sooner?”

“I didn’t really realize it until today.”

“What happened today?”

Marlena knew she couldn’t say anything about Orpheus, so she left him out of her explanation. “I just couldn’t stop these visions I was having. About being kidnapped or being strangled. They just wouldn’t go away.” Marlena is crying softly into the phone and Kimberly hears all of it.

“You know, Marlena, with everything that’s happened to you, I’ve often wondered when or how all that trauma might manifest itself.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Listen to yourself. Can’t you hear it? All the things you’re describing are classic PTSD symptoms. You have always been so strong and always been there for everyone else no matter what. You’ve always been the counselor, the advice-giver, the mentor, the parent. But have you ever allowed yourself to feel and process all the terrible things that have happened to you?”

“Of course I have.”

Have you? I don’t think so. I think you just pushed them down and hid them away. You just held on to John and that made it alright, but it never made it go away.

“I’m coming to Salem this weekend to see you. We need to get to the bottom of this.”

“You don’t need to make a special trip out here just for me.”

“Oh, yes, I believe I do. I’ll make the plans and let you know when my flight gets in. Are you taking any medication for this?”

“Actually, yes.”

“Good. Stay on it. Talk to your kids. Stay around people, Marlena. Don’t just sit in the house by yourself. I know you said Kayla told you not to work, but it might do you some good just to be around coworkers.”

“Ok, I will. Thank you, Kimberly. I hate to be such a bother.”

“This is no bother. You are my family and I love you. I’ll be in touch soon.”

Marlena feels a bit relieved after the phone call. Could she really be experiencing these things? Could it actually be some form of PTSD? She knew she had been through hell at times in her life.

“And almost IN hell. Twice. Remember?”

“Oh, God, no. Please, not again.”

Marlena grabbed her things and ran out the door. She drove straight to St. Luke’s and fortunately found Father Joseph in the sanctuary. “Father, please, you’ve got to help me!” Marlena was so panicked it made Father Joseph wonder what could possibly be wrong.

“Of course, Marlena, what can I do?”

“Father, I’m so afraid. I’ve got to know if I’m possessed again.”

Father Joseph knew all about Marlena being possessed twice even though he had only been in Salem a short time. “Why do you think that?” he asked.

“I can’t go into all of it right now, can you please just help me?”

“Uhm…of….of course. Let me get Father Michael.”

The priests prayed over Marlena and put Holy Water on her. She held her rosary and they had her pray with a crucifix. She read aloud from the Bible, and they watched her carefully. Nothing she did showed any signs of being possessed again.

“Marlena, we both feel that you are perfectly fine. I’m sorry you are so troubled, but we don’t think you are possessed in any way.”

Marlena was relieved, but still confused. “Thank you so much, Father Michael. I’m so sorry for wasting your time.”

“You are never a waste of time, Marlena. We will be praying for you and hoping that the Lord can ease your worries. Why don’t you take my St. Christopher’s medal with you to keep you protected, just in case.”

“Thank you, Father. I’m very grateful to you for everything.” Marlena put the medal on and left the church. She did feel better after spending time in prayer and was relieved to know that it wasn’t a possession again.

She went home and fell asleep quickly, once more wrapped up in John’s T-shirt. Fear thankfully left her alone while she slept, and she felt somewhat better when she awoke the next morning.

She decided to go to work for a bit like Kimberly suggested, not to see patients but to just be around people. They were glad to see her and asked how she was feeling. She was bolstered by the affection, and it did feel good to be around people.

When she went into her office, however, she became unsettled once again. The flash of a necktie coming around her face and neck went through her mind. And then she was wrestling with Ben Weston, fighting to get away from him, falling over her desk, and being left to die on the floor.

“I almost died in here.” Fear had returned.

Marlena shook it off and sat down at her desk. She said to herself, “This is ridiculous, Marlena. All of this happened years ago. You dealt with it. You moved on. You can do it again.”

“But there are so many times I almost died. Or someone died. So much death.”

Visions of baby DJ flashed in Marlena’s mind. He was so precious and small and beautiful. And then Marlena could see Samantha. She was beautiful, too, just like Marlena, but so different. And Marlena couldn’t help her. It was true that she died because of her, and Marlena would never be able to escape that fact. Then there was John. Her beloved John had died, too. So did a part of herself. What if he died in Stockholm? And she never got to see him again…..

She heard the door opening and knew who it was before he even crossed the threshold.

“Please no.”

Orpheus slinked in and locked the door. He had something in his hand, but she couldn’t see exactly what it was.

“How did you get in here? There are police on every floor for reasons just like this.” She tried to remain strong, but she was becoming weaker, and she knew it.

“I told you, Doc. I can get to you any time I want to.” His snarky grin made Marlena even more uneasy.

“What is that you’re holding?”

“This?” he asked, holding up a long hypodermic needle. “This is for you.”

“You’re not going to drug me and try to take me out of here, I can promise you that. Not without the entire floor hearing about it. You’ll be caught in a second.” She knew she would not go with him quietly, and if people saw him, he would be taken away immediately.

“Oh, no, I don’t have to take you out of here. No, that’s not what this is for. You see, this is full of kryptonite.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Penicillin, Doc. You know what that is….don’t you?”

“Oh, my God, he’s going to kill me!”

Marlena shrunk back a bit, trying to get away from him and from it. She was deathly allergic to penicillin and had almost been killed with it before. When John wasn’t there to stop it….

“Didn’t you almost die from this one time?”

“How do you know that?”

“Oh, I have my ways. And didn’t your precious Isabella almost die from it as well? One time when it was meant for you?”

“How could you possibly know about that?” Marlena hadn’t meant for that to happen, but she knew it was her fault. Someone was trying to get to her, and her baby almost paid the price. She had almost lost another baby.

“Everyone I love has been in danger because of me.”

Marlena was beginning to come undone at this point. She screamed at Orpheus, “GET OUT OF HERE! Leave me alone! Just LEAVE. ME. ALONE!” And with that, she grabbed her things and bolted past him out the door. The nurses in the hallway saw her running out and thought she might be crying. They started to go after her, but a code blue was called at that moment, and they had to run the other way.

Marlena couldn’t remember how she got home, but once she did, she locked and bolted the door, and fell against it in a heap on the floor. She began crying uncontrollably, lost in the visions of death that were swirling in her head like a tornado. So many people had died around her or because of her. So many people were put in danger because of her. All of it continued to crash upon her in waves to until she finally succumbed to it and passed out. But even there, she could not escape it as Stefano and Orpheus took her on a macabre dance through all the terrible things that had ever happened to her. All the while she was calling out to John, looking for him everywhere, but he never came. He never saved her. Fear had finally won.

Chapter Ten

Kimberly’s flight was arriving on Friday night, three days after she had spoken with Marlena. She’d texted her travel information to her and asked if she could pick her up from the airport at 7:00, and Marlena said she could. The texts they’d shared during the week sounded like Marlena was doing ok, and Kimberly was hopeful she really was doing better.

She landed on time and gathered her luggage, then went out to wait for Marlena. At 7:45 she still had not arrived, nor had she answered any calls or texts. Kim had tried Brady and Eric, but neither one answered either. She finally got an Uber to take her to Marlena’s and was more concerned than ever.

As she got to the door of the townhouse, she had an eerie feeling. She had seen no lights on outside, and Marlena still had not answered. She knocked on the door and heard a faint, “Who is it?”

“It’s me, Marlena, it’s Kimberly. Are you alright? Please let me in!”

“Kimberly?” Marlena sounded surprised.

“Yes, I told you I was coming tonight, do you not remember?”

“Oh, oh yes, of course. Tonight.” The door opened and Kimberly was shocked at what she saw. Marlena looked as if she hadn’t had a shower in days. The townhouse had food trash strewn about, and all the curtains were drawn. The television was on very low, and it almost looked like Marlena had been sleeping on the couch.

Kimberly couldn’t help but exclaim, “Marlena, oh my God!” Then she went into counselor mode, not wanting to agitate Marlena. “I’m so glad to see you. Can I come in?” She was still standing in the doorway as Marlena almost stared through her.

“Oh, yes, I’m sorry. Please come in.” Marlena turned and walked over to the couch. As she sat down, Kimberly came in and closed the door behind her. Marlena was still acting like she was almost in a trance, so Kimberly sat down next to her and tried to engage her in some type of conversation to pull her out of it.

“So, how have you been feeling these past few days? You seemed to be doing better when you texted me.” She was trying to keep it light until she could figure out what was going on.

Marlena wanted to tell Kimberly everything, but Fear wouldn’t let her. “Well, I had a bit of a rough night Tuesday night, but I really was feeling better after that. I went to see Eric and Nicole and their baby, and that cheered me up so much. Then Johnny and Chanel came to visit at some point, and I was doing pretty well. But then today…” She looked off into space again, as if she didn’t want to remember.

“What happened today, Marlena? t’s ok. You can tell me, you know. I just want to help.” Kimberly put her hand on Marlena’s, and it was shaking.

Marlena looked back at her. Fear was very strong right now.

“You can’t tell her. He will hurt everyone. And John can’t help.”

Even though Marlena heard Fear clearly, she still had strength to fight. “Oh, Kim, you must not tell anyone. Promise me this will stay right here.”

“Of course, I promise. You know it will just be between us.” Kim would have promised anything at this point just to get Marlena to open up.

“It’s Orpheus. He’s been here, in the house, at the hospital, in my office, everywhere. He’s taunting me, torturing me almost, and he said if I told anyone he’d escaped that he would have everyone killed: my children, my grandchildren, even John. He even told me today that I couldn’t text him anymore either because he might see it and come home sooner. I am at my wits end and I don’t know what to do!” Tears were flowing freely now, and Marlena was coming back to reality now that she had confided in Kimberly.

“My gosh that’s horrible!” Kim exclaimed. “How long has he been doing this?”

“Ever since John left, so over a week now. I don’t know how much more I can take, and I don’t know when John’s going to be home. Have you heard from Shane? Do you know anything about when they will be home?”

“No, sweetie, I haven’t. I can try to find out some things, though, if you want.”

“Oh yes, please! Anything would be helpful, but don’t say anything about Orpheus being here. You can’t let on that he’s been here.”

“I promise I won’t. Let me make a couple calls and I’ll see what I can find out. Would you want to maybe tidy up a bit?”

Marlena looked around and finally saw the state of the townhouse. “Goodness, I’m so sorry everything is such a mess!” She began picking up things right away. Kimberly was pleased her focus was on the task and not on what had happened. At least she wasn’t so far gone that she couldn’t get up and do things.

An hour later, Kimberly had called five different people, none of whom would tell her anything about Shane, or John, or Orpheus. She had top security with the ISA since she worked for them as well, but whatever John and Shane were doing must have been above even that. Orpheus’ whereabouts or information also seemed to be only on a need-to-know basis. While Kimberly was busy, Marlena had cleaned up and showered, and she looked and felt much better.

“I wish I had better news, Marlena, but they just won’t tell me anything, or they don’t know and won’t say.”

“Thank you for trying, Kim. It means a lot to me, and I do feel better.”

“I’m glad. Now, I’d like to talk more about what’s been happening to you. Have you had any more nightmares?”

“I did on Tuesday, but I haven’t since. I’ve been sleeping ok, not fully restful, but ok. I’m taking the medication Kayla prescribed and I guess it’s helping me sleep. Do you honestly think this could be PTSD, Kim? I mean, a lot of the things that have come up in my nightmares are things that happened years ago.”

“I don’t think there’s a timeline for when trauma can affect you, or how it will affect you. So many things come into play with this, as you know. Additional stressors, age, continuing trauma, all those things can add up and create a perfect storm, and boom, you trigger a response.”

She knew these things, of course, but talking with Kimberly logically about it put Fear at bay for a moment and allowed Marlena’s inner strength to reassert itself. They continued to talk about it, and Marlena felt more and more like herself. Eventually, they were both tired and went to bed. Marlena slept in John’s T-shirt again and finally had a restful night.

Through the weekend, Kimberly was a great comfort to her, and Marlena continued to improve. There were no visits from Orpheus, most likely because she was not alone, and that helped to put Fear back into its box more and more. But Sunday came and Kimberly had to leave. She told Marlena to call her if she needed anything, day or night, and suggested she maybe go stay with Eric or Brady, or have them come stay with her, until John returned.

“Oh, no, I can’t do that. I don’t want to give them any idea that I need protection from something, or Orpheus will keep his promise and hurt my family. I won’t, Kim, I’m sorry.”

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea, but I know better than to argue with you. So, what about your treatment going forward?”

“Treatment? What do you mean?”

“Marlena, we’ve spent the weekend talking about how you’re developing PTSD. Don’t you think it’s logical to pursue treatment for it?”

“We’ve been talking about how things have triggered a response in me, and now that we’ve talked about it and I’ve told you about it, I feel fine. I’m ready to go back to work, the dreams and nightmares have stopped, everything is fine.”

“That’s not a wise course of action, Marlena, and you know it. You would never advise a patient of yours that they’re ok after a few hours of talking with you. You’re good, but even you aren’t that good.”

“Well, I disagree. I might not do it for a patient, but I know how I personally feel and what I’m experiencing. And I say I’m good to go.”

“At least let me talk to Kayla so that she will know what to look for in case you have a relapse or something. She can….”

“No, absolutely not,” Marlena said before Kim could finish. “You are not to speak to anyone about anything, you promised. Not Kayla, not anyone. There’s no way to explain anything without saying something about Orpheus, and I won’t let you put my family in danger.”

“But she’s my sister, she won’t give anything away! She’s married to your husband’s best friend and business partner for heaven’s sake, don’t you think she understands how to keep things secret?”

“And you’re my doctor, so you cannot reveal anything without risking your license. I said no, and I meant no. There is no need to drag her into anything and that’s the end of it. I am eternally grateful for all your help and counsel this weekend, but I’m calling the shots from this point forward.”

Kimberly was frustrated with her but knew better than to try and argue when Marlena was this determined. “Ok,” she said, “But if anything else happens, I need to know.”

“Alright, that’s a deal.”

Marlena dropped Kim off at the airport and picked up supper on the way home. She was determined to go back to work and resume her life, and she was looking forward to it. She had come through the weekend to a much better place thanks to help from Kimberly and she knew she could handle Orpheus whenever the time arose. Her Fear was in its box for the most part, but what she didn’t know was that it was just resting, waiting for the moment when it would come out with a vengeance. 

Chapter Eleven

Marlena returned to work the next day renewed and refreshed. Her time with Kimberly had done wonders for her emotionally, and she arrived at work earlier than normal. She was greeted by everyone saying how glad they were she was feeling better. They were so worried for her, and she was so grateful for their kind words.

She entered her office and breathed a sigh of relief as none of her recent memories surfaced, nor did she feel uneasy there anymore. She was certain that her work with Kimberly had paid off and that whatever had been manifesting itself was now worked through and done.

She spent the rest of the week the same way. Each day she worked and helped her patients. Each night, she read or watched TV and slept peacefully. She felt completely like her old self again. John had been gone for two weeks without any communication, but she was only missing him as she usually would. The lingering feelings and the intense need for him had diminished. She hoped he would be home soon and that he was safe.

—-

Meanwhile, John was finishing up his work in Stockholm. He, Shane, and their team had successfully infiltrated a group that was trying to undermine the Swedish government. The political environment was becoming volatile, but the team captured the leader of the group working to stage a coup on the government and arrested him.

As they headed back to their headquarters, John and Shane talked about being anxious to return home. Two weeks wasn’t an enormously long time, but they both missed their wives and wanted to get back. They had not been allowed to have any communication with home to ensure their covers could not be blown, so they felt a bit out of touch.

John sat across from Shane that evening at a table in the hotel restaurant. “I hope everything is ok back home. I’ve been having this gnawing feeling that something isn’t right with Marlena.”

Shane had witnessed their supernatural connection more than once, and he respected that John could be right. “I’m sure she’s ok, John. At least we will be leaving tomorrow and then you’ll be back in Salem.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” But John was less than sure. He did not sleep well that night and even had a dream that Marlena was calling out to him, but he couldn’t find her. He awoke feeling uneasy the next day and was short with the driver taking them to the airport when he didn’t think he was getting them there fast enough.

“Hold on, old man, it’s going to be ok. We’ll get there in time.” Shane hadn’t seen John this agitated in a long time.

“I’m sorry, I just really feel like we need to get to London so I can contact Marlena. It feels like something is wrong and I need to get to my phone to call her. I wish we’d gotten an earlier flight. With all the traveling and stuff, it’s going to be late tonight her time before I can even get to her.”

“Well, you could call her from the airport if you want. I think that would probably be safe enough.”

“I don’t know, Shane. Those guys we took down have contacts everywhere and we don’t know who they have in their back pocket. It’s probably safest to wait, although I don’t want to.”

“I’m glad you think so. I didn’t want to suggest it, but you seem so on edge.”

“Thanks for trying buddy. Let’s just get there as fast as possible.”

—-

Back in Salem, Marlena was looking forward to being home. She’d had a good day at work and was happy to curl up with her book and relax. She was just starting to read some Margaret Atwood when Fear began to awaken from its rest.

Did you lock the door?

Marlena glanced at the door and saw that it was locked and deadbolted. She’d gotten better about that since John had been gone. She went back to reading.

Are the windows locked?

Marlena stopped reading and put her book down. She felt the uneasiness beginning to creep in again, so she told herself out loud, “You are safe. There’s no one here. Nothing is going to happen to you.” She closed her eyes and took a few cleansing breaths to relax herself.

And then she heard him say, “Are you sure about that?”

Marlena gasped and opened her eyes to see Orpheus standing at the end of the couch. She jumped up and her book went flying. “How the hell did you get in here? I made sure everything was locked down before I started reading. This is impossible.”

“Is it? I mean, for it to really be impossible, you’d have to be hallucinating. Are you hallucinating Marlena?”

Marlena was unsure what mind game he was playing, but she was positive she’d locked everything before getting comfortable. How could he possibly be in the house, and she not have heard him? Unless maybe she was hallucinating?

“I….I don’t know.”

“You’re not hallucinating. He’s here, and he’s going to hurt you. You need to get away,” Fear said. 

Marlena heard Fear clearly now, and tried to run towards the back entrance, but Orpheus grabbed her arm and flung her around so she could see him. “Does this feel like a hallucination? Can you feel me holding your arm, Marlena? Can you feel my breath on your face? I’m as real as you are, and I know what you’ve been doing.”

“He knows you told Kimberly everything. He knows you texted John in secret when you weren’t supposed to. Now he’s going to kill everyone you love and it’s all your fault!”

“I haven’t done anything, I swear! Please, please, don’t hurt my family!” Marlena struggled against the hold he had on her arms.

“Oh yes you have done something. You told Kimberly Donovan about me. She called her contacts at the ISA, one of whom is a very good friend of mine, asking if they knew anything about where I was. Now, why would she do that at the same time she was visiting you if you didn’t tell her, hmmmm?” Orpheus shook Marlena’s arm to emphasize his point, and she cried out in pain.

“Ahhh! No, please, I didn’t say anything to her. She…she asked about you…she said…she said that…”

“Stop trying to lie, Marlena, you know it doesn’t work.” He shoved her onto the couch and pulled out his phone. “But since I’m such a nice guy, I have a little present for you. Maybe this will help you keep your mouth shut.” He sat beside her and opened up the photos, and instantly Marlena could see pictures of her kids and grandkids. They weren’t far away snapshots, either. They were close, too close for Marlena’s comfort. He had made his point that he could get to her family, and now he was going to make her believe he would.

“Awww, isn’t little Arianna getting to be such a big girl, now? Oh, and look, there’s Noah. What a handsome young man he is. And isn’t that Claire with her mom? They are just spitting images of each other, aren’t they?” His sickeningly sweet way of talking about them as if he were a neighbor or a friend was unnerving Marlena completely.

“Alright, you’ve made your point. You have people everywhere who can reach my children and my grandchildren at any moment. I get it. I am sorry I said anything to Kimberly. But you’ve got to understand, I was so unbelievably afraid, and John isn’t here, and…” Marlena began to cry as she spoke.

“That’s right, Doc. He’s not here.”

—-

“Why the hell won’t my phone sync? What is going on??” John was livid that he couldn’t get his phone to work. His plane had finally touched down in London and he wanted to call Marlena straight away but could not get a signal. An agent from the ISA had to bring his things to him from his hotel there because his flight from Stockholm was delayed and he was about to miss his connecting flight to Salem. He didn’t even have time to call from the airport and had to run to make his connection. As he fell into his seat on the plane, he tried again to make the phone connect, but it still didn’t work. His uneasiness was growing by the minute the closer he got to Marlena. “I’m coming, baby. I don’t know what’s wrong, but just hang on. I’m coming.”

—-

“You need to run. You need to get away. He’s going to hurt you.”

Marlena looked furtively for a way to get past Orpheus and out the door, but he could see what she was thinking. “Ah, ah, ah,” he said as he wagged his finger at her. “You’re not going anywhere tonight. You are going to pay for going against my wishes. Then,” he said as he held up the picture of Belle and Claire, “they are going to pay. All of them. They’ll all pay because you couldn’t do what I told you to do. They will suffer the consequences of your actions, just like so many people have done in the past.”

“Do whatever you want to me, I don’t care. Just please, don’t hurt my family.” Marlena said quietly. Silent tears were streaming down her face, but she was calm.

“And there she is. The sacrificial lamb who’s taken it on the chin for everyone else. You do that a lot, don’t you Doc?”

“What are you talking about?” Orpheus’ was echoing Kimberly’s words of how she was always the helper to everyone.

“No matter what happens to you, you’re always the one who fixes it for everyone else. You get everyone else through it, and never worry about yourself. How’s that working for you?”

“It’s my job to help others. And I want to help my family, of course.”

“But you’ve never dealt with anything for yourself,”

“All those times you were in danger. You just got out of it because John saved you and then you went on your merry way, like nothing had ever happened. But it did happen, Marlena. And putting on a brave face doesn’t mean it’s gone away. You still think about me, don’t you? I almost burned you and Kayla alive.”

“Please don’t make me remember that.”

“I do still think about it sometimes. But I dealt with it.” Marlena’s strength is beginning to falter.

“No, you didn’t. You just went on. And John went on, out of town, on assignment, and left you alone with your thoughts afterward. Remember? And seeing that boy, who looked like my son, burned like that. That could have been you, couldn’t it?”

Marlena closed her eyes and turned away from him, not wanting to remember what Kevin looked like, or that nightmare. She prayed Orpheus would just leave as he had done before.

—-

As John’s plane landed at Salem airport, he pulled out his phone and tried once more to get it to connect. It did, and immediately he began getting notification after notification, text after text.

Belle: “Hey Dad. I’m worried about Mom. Brady said she’s been having more nightmares…”

Sami: “Hey have you talked to Mom? Is she ok? She said she’d been sick at work…”

Brady: “Dad, I’m still a little worried about Mom. Let me know when you get back…”

Father Michael: “Hello John. Marlena came by to visit tonight and was very not herself…”

Kimberly: “Please text me when you get back. I really need to talk with you about Marlena. It’s urgent…”

And finally, the one from Marlena that really sent him over the edge: “Please come home. It’s not safe here. I need you.”

Nearly everyone Marlena had been around over the past two weeks had texted John to let him know that something was amiss. What he didn’t understand was why no one was doing anything about it. “Dammit! I knew something was wrong. Why in the hell has no one gotten her any help or gotten to me?” John was furious and worried, and moved heaven and earth to get off that plane faster than anyone. He sprinted through the airport and made it to his car in record time. “I swear to God, if something has happened to you, Doc, someone is going to pay.”

—-

Back at the townhouse, Orpheus continued to torture Marlena with memories of the past. “And that patient who was trapped? You remember how it felt to be trapped, with no way out? You were going to die.”

“Please, just stop. I can’t take this.” Fear was back in full force.

“And of course, we can’t forget all the things Stefano did to you for so many years. How do you even get out of bed?”

“STOP IT! Just stop! I can’t listen to this anymore!” Marlena jumped up quickly and ran to her bedroom before Orpheus could get to her. She locked the door behind her and ran to the closet where John kept the lockbox for his pistol. She took it down and fumbled with the lock when she heard Orpheus at the door.

“You can’t run from me, Marlena. You can’t hide from the truth!” He began pounding on the door and prying at the doorknob, trying to get to her.

As Marlena was working to get to the pistol, her phone rang. She glanced at it and saw that it was Kimberly. She grabbed it and put it on speaker so she could keep working on the lockbox. “Kimberly, thank God! Call the police! Orpheus is here! I’m locked in my bedroom, but he could come in at any minute. Please call them now!”

“Marlena, you have to listen to me! That’s not Orpheus.” Kimberly was desperate to get through to her.

“He’s outside my bedroom, Kim, I can hear him right now! He’s going to kill me!”

“Orpheus is in a maximum-security facility in Malta. The ISA has had him there for a couple months, but they didn’t want anyone to know because there was a mole in the office telling him every move they were making.”

Orpheus continued to pound on the door. “Let me in Marlena, or it will be very bad for everyone you ever loved. I will get to all of them if you don’t let me in!”

Marlena finally got the lockbox open and turned around to see Orpheus standing inside her bedroom. She gasped, “How did you…?” Then she yelled at the phone, “Kimberly! He’s inside my room! Please help me!”

“She can’t help you, Marlena. I told you I could get to you any time, any way I wanted.”

“Marlena, listen to me! Focus on me! What you’re seeing isn’t real. Orpheus is locked away out of the country. Shane is on the phone with the agent guarding him, and he has his eyes on him right now. He is not there with you, and he can’t hurt you.”

“Stay away from me!” Marlena screamed at Orpheus. “I will shoot you right now, I swear, if you don’t stay away!”

“Marlena, put the gun down!” Kimberly kept trying to get through to her. Just then, a voice rang out from outside Marlena’s door.

“Doc! Doc, I’m here! Let me in baby, please, just let me get to you. I’m here!” John could hear her screaming at someone and heard Kimberly’s voice over the phone. He was prying at the door, trying desperately to get it to open.

“John?” Hearing his voice brought Marlena back for a moment but Fear was not backing down.

“He can’t help you. He left you here by yourself when you needed him. And now Orpheus is going to kill you.”

“Marlena, just put the gun down and let John in! Please let him help you!” Kimberly wished she could come through the phone and help her. She also wished she’d realized the full extent of Marlena’s illness.

“Everyone you know and love is going to die now, because of you.” Marlena could still see Orpheus and wouldn’t put the gun down.

“If you take one more step, I will kill you right now!”

“Doc, don’t shoot! Please honey let me in!” John realized the doorknob would not give, so he kicked the door with all he had. It flew open and he saw Marlena standing there as frightened as he’d ever seen her, pointing his gun right at him.

“John, please get away! I don’t want to shoot you!” Marlena was terrified she might miss Orpheus and hit John.

As calmly as he could, John began trying to reason with her. “Baby, you’re not going to shoot anyone, ok. You know you don’t like guns, and you know you don’t want to hurt me.”

“I don’t, but I have to kill him! He’s going to hurt our family, John!”

“Sweetheart, Orpheus isn’t here. It’s just us, ok. Orpheus is locked up far away and can’t get to anyone.”

“No, he’s right there. He’s right there!”

“Don’t listen to him, Marlena. You can see me as plain as day. I’m right here, and you know what you have to do.” Orpheus’ image was still taunting her.

“Come to me, baby. You know I would never lie to you. What you’re seeing isn’t real. I know it is frightening, but it isn’t real. Come to me and let me help you.”

“He’s not…real?” Marlena’s hands began to shake. “But…but I’ve seen him…he’s…he’s been here…”

“Doc, I know you’re scared, but I promise you he isn’t here. Look at me, concentrate on me. I love you, and I’m going to make it all better. I’ll make it all go away and you will be alright.”

John, I’m so frightened. Why weren’t you here for me?

She started to cry as she lowered the gun. The image of Orpheus disappeared in front of her, and she felt herself starting to collapse. John rushed to her and sat her on the bed before she could fall. She melted into his arms and cried in earnest. The weight of everything that had just happened consumed her and she just sat there crying and holding him tight.

“I’ve got you, baby. It’s ok, I’m here now and I’m never ever letting you go.” John had no idea the extent of what had happened to her but knew that could wait. Kimberly had heard everything over the phone and asked if Marlena was ok. John told her he had it under control and he would call her soon.

All he wanted to do now was hold and comfort her and keep her safe from whatever demons had been plaguing her. When she finally stopped crying, all she wanted was to crawl into bed with him and bury herself in the comfort of his arms. Once again, he held her all night, but this time, he did not sleep a wink.

Chapter Twelve

John spent the entirety of the next day in bed with Marlena. They ate breakfast, made love, showered, made love there, napped, read, and spent every moment connecting and reconnecting. He catered to her every need and didn’t leave her alone for a moment. The guilt he felt at not being there for her, for leaving her at the start of all of it, was his constant companion. He was determined to show her the support and love she had needed from him. He’d tried to apologize to her once, but she silenced him with a long lingering kiss that lasted over an hour. She didn’t want apologies, she just wanted him, his warmth, his body, his touch, so that she could feel safe and Fear would finally be put to rest.

He had texted the kids, and Kimberly and Kayla, to give them an idea of how she was, but he was still too angry with them to really talk about it. He knew it wasn’t really their fault this happened, but his anger and remorse needed to go somewhere. The following day, at Kimberly’s urging, John took Marlena to Bayview to get checked out. Marlena trusted the staff there, and felt they were competent enough to help her. She really didn’t want to be strong and make decisions yet, so she went along with whatever John felt was best for her.

She spent almost three hours talking with two of the doctors there, Dr. Raynor and Dr. Bryson, and after a multitude of discussions and tests, they felt they had a preliminary diagnosis. They decided to talk to John alone first and then speak with Marlena so that all of them could come up with a treatment plan for her. They shared with him that they felt what she was experiencing was PTSD with delayed expression, meaning that she developed PTSD months or even years after experiencing a traumatic event. Even though it had been several months since Marlena had been through anything truly traumatic, the additional stress of her large caseload, combined with a multitude of coincidences that made her recall her past experiences, created the “perfect storm” that Kimberly and she had discussed. Finally, and this was the hardest part for John to hear, they thought that her being put on leave from work in the beginning allowed it to manifest itself much more strongly than it would have, especially since she was going home to an empty house.

After hearing that news, John had to go outside for some fresh air. His anger was growing, at his kids for leaving her alone so much, at Kayla for making her stay home, at Kimberly for not seeing what was happening, and at all of them for not forcing the ISA to contact him and get him home. But mostly, he was angry at himself for leaving her in the first place. He had known that nightmare she had was unusual. He had heard her ask him to stay home and not leave her. But he went anyway and left her to fight the battle on her own. The more he thought about it, the more he ached for her and what had happened to her. Tears began streaming down his face as he thought of his beloved Marlena, sitting in their house, alone and scared and vulnerable. “I swear, Doc, on my life, that I will never let you be scared like that again. I will always be there to protect you from now on.” With that, he wiped the tears away and walked back inside, determined to help her get well.

Back in Dr. Raynor’s office, Marlena was waiting to see what the doctors had to say. They came in, followed by John. She could tell that he was upset, and his eyes were still a little moist. She knew this was not good, and she reached for John’s hand. He took it as he sat beside her and wrapped it in both of his as he kissed it gently. “So,” she said, “what’s the verdict?”

Dr. Bryson began. “Dr. Evans, we feel that you may have PTSD with delayed expression. But we can’t make a final diagnosis without some more time and testing. We’d like you to stay here at Bayview for a time while we…”

The moment they mentioned staying at Bayview, Marlena squeezed John’s hand and her eyes went wide. He picked up on it immediately. “No,” John interrupted. “She’s not staying at Bayview right now.” He looked at her with reassurance that he was listening to her. She relaxed just a bit and gave him a small smile.

“But, Mr. Black, Dr. Evans needs treatment for this condition, or it will only continue to manifest itself as I’m sure she well knows.” Dr. Raynor looked at Marlena, hoping to appeal to her knowledge and expertise, but she wouldn’t take her eyes off of John.

“I understand that and so does she, but for now, she will not stay at Bayview. She and I are going to go home and be together for a few days before we decide about anything. I just got home from a long trip which, as you said, probably made this worse. The last thing I’m going to do right now is leave her here, alone, again. So, we will take your suggestions under advisement and let you know in a couple days what we’ve decided to do.”

The doctors could see that John was resigned and would not back down. They looked at each other, but neither one felt it was the right time to push the issue. “Alright, Mr. Black. If that’s your decision.” Dr. Raynor tried to express his concern, but it fell on deaf ears. John was steadfast.

He looked at Marlena. She gave an almost imperceptible nod. “It is,” he said. “Are you ready to go, Doc?”

“Yes,” she said quietly. She looked at the doctors and said, “Thank you for your time,” and turned towards the door.

John put his hand in the small of her back and led her out the door.

The next day, Eric and Brady came over to visit her. She was asleep when they arrived, so they sat in the living room to talk with John until she awoke. John was very quiet and very short with his answers. Finally, Brady asked, “Dad, have we done something wrong? Are you upset with us?”

“Well, gee boys, whatever gave you that idea?” John was having a hard time holding in his feelings.

“I’m sorry, Dad, for whatever it was, but I don’t know what I could have done to make you angry.” Brady was confused, and looked at Eric who shrugged his shoulders as well.

“You don’t know do you? Well, maybe I should tell you, then. I specifically told all of you the morning I left to call or text or visit your mother while I was gone. And did you? Did you even bother?”

“Well yes, Dad, I did! I told her I wasn’t going to move out yet, but she practically forced me to. And I was the one who came to the hospital after she fainted and took care of her.” Brady was more than a little hurt by his father’s accusations.

“Oh, you took care of her, did you? So how did you do that? Did you eat dinner with her? Did you invite her over or take her to the movies, or even actually call her while she was home, by herself, for the rest of the week?”

Brady paused and realized his father was right. He hadn’t done anything for Marlena after bringing her home except to text her a couple of times. He’d been so busy with work and with his kids that he hadn’t really given it another thought. “Dad, I’m….I’m sorry. You’re right, I didn’t do any of those things.”

“And you,” John said as he turned his attention to Eric. “You haven’t even seen her, have you?”

“I did see her, yes. She came over to see me and Nicole and the baby, and she stayed most of the afternoon.” Eric wanted John to know that he had tried to do his part.

“Uh huh, ok. So, in the last two weeks, after I asked you all to spend extra time with her, you had one afternoon with her, and she was the one who had to come see you? Is that what you’re telling me?”

Eric saw John’s point immediately. The stress of having a new baby, and the lack of sleep weren’t really an excuse. Eric sighed and said, “Yes. That’s right. I should have been more attentive to her.”

“You got that right.” John hadn’t dressed his kids down in a long time, but both of them knew without a doubt that Marlena came first, last and always in his eyes. He never took her for granted and kept her as his main priority. And now, when he had asked for their help, they had not been up to the task. That was a hard realization, but they both resigned themselves to the fact that they had to do better. Their mother often put her needs after those of others, and they knew it.

Eric was the first to speak after a moment of reflection on their actions. “John, I’m sure I can speak for Brady in saying that we realize we should have done more for Mom. We should have thought about her like she thinks about everyone. I guess we’re just so used to her being so incredibly strong….”

“Yeah, Dad,” Brady interjected. “Eric’s right on both counts. We should have, and will, do more for her. But she is probably the strongest person I know, emotionally anyway. I mean, I think she’s even stronger than you in that department.”

John agreed. “She is for sure, Brady. Because if something happened to me, she would grieve, she would be devastated. But she would go on. She would find a way through it, and she would go on. Hell, she has already. But me? When I lost her back in ’87, we’d barely had a chance to even start our lives together, and I was completely and utterly lost while she was gone. If it hadn’t been for Carrie and the twinners, I don’t think I’d have made it.”

“You were pretty devastated, John.” Eric remembered that time so long ago.

“You’re damn right I was. But the other times in these last few years, especially when I really had lost her a while back, I almost didn’t survive those. I just thank God she came back to me boys.”

“Well, let’s just promise that from here on out we will make sure we put her on the front burner, ok?” Brady looked at his dad and brother for approval.

“Absolutely,” Eric said.

“That’s a fact.”

Chapter Thirteen

John and Marlena spent the next couple of days taking it easy and spending time with each other. They’d gone for walks and car rides out in the country, and Marlena was improving exponentially. There had been no nightmares, no uneasiness, and she’d slept peacefully each night, wrapped in the strength and comfort of John’s arms. He’d wanted to ask her all about what she’d been through but knew she would open up when she was ready to.

Finally, one morning as they were finishing breakfast, she said, “John, I’m sorry I worried you so. And I’m so sorry I allowed things to get so bad for me. I don’t know if I could have lived with myself if I’d…” The memory of her pointing a gun at him flashed through her mind.

He reached across the table and took her hand. “Doc, it’s ok. I’m ok. And when you’re ready, we’re going to help you get through this. Your family and friends love you; I love you, and we are all going to be here for you like you’ve always been for us. You are not alone in this, and you will never be alone in this. I swear it.” The intensity with which he spoke those last words went deep into Marlena’s heart, and she knew without question that she was safe with him.

She began to tell him everything she had seen and felt over the past several weeks and how every time she felt most afraid or vulnerable, that was when Orpheus would make an appearance. She realized how he was a manifestation of her fear and her trauma and felt as if she should have seen it much sooner.

“But Doc, like you said, it came upon you so gradually. And you had all those things happen to you within such a short period of time, it’s no wonder they all just added up at once. And you cannot blame yourself, especially if Kayla and Kimberly didn’t really see it either.”

“Kimberly did. She said almost instantly that it was PTSD, but I was sure it wasn’t and that it was Orpheus causing me to be so scared all the time.” She began to shiver just a bit as Fear twitched a little inside her. “John, are you positive he is in prison?”

“Yes, sweetheart, I am positive, but I’ll be glad to check again if you want me to.” He had done this three or four times since he had been home, but he didn’t care if he had to do it every day if it made her feel safe. He picked up his phone and called, and a moment later someone answered. “Yes, this is John Black again. Can I please speak to Agent Donovan?”

John waited until Shane picked up. “Hello, John. How are things?” Shane knew why John was calling by now, but wanted to do anything he could as well to help Marlena.

“Pretty good, here, Shane. Can you check things for me and call me back?”

“Give me about five minutes.”

“Will do. Thanks.” John hung up and looked at Marlena. “Five minutes,” he said. She nodded and looked down at her lap. He knew she was probably feeling a bit embarrassed at having to be reassured so much that Orpheus was not a threat, so he got up and came around to her side of the table. He got down on one knee beside her and took both of her hands in his. Looking deep into her eyes, he said, “It’s ok to feel what you’re feeling. It’s ok to need reassurance. It’s ok to do whatever you need to do to process all this and be better on the other side. And I am here for you no matter what. I am here for you, Doc. You don’t have to try and be strong for me. You don’t have to keep anything from me or protect me or anything like that. I want to be strong for you so that you can be as weak as you need to be. I’ll hold you up, or carry you, if necessary, through all of this. We will make it through this together. And I know you will be ok. You are the strongest woman I know, and eventually you won’t feel like this anymore. But for now, you just lean on me, ok? I’ve got you.”

She looked at this man, her husband, her soulmate, her knight in shining armor who once again was saving her, only this time he was saving her from herself. Saving her from demons deep within her that came at her silently and without provocation after lying dormant for months or even decades. She put her hand against his cheek and said simply, “I love you so, my darling. You are everything to me, and I could not face all of this without you.” She leaned into him and kissed him softly for a moment, and then more deeply as she pulled him closer. He reached up and put his hand around the back of her neck and began to pull her onto him as the phone rang.

“Great timing, Shane,” John said as he slowly backed away from her. They both stood up as he answered the FaceTime call, and Shane was in the control room where the video feed of Orpheus in his cell came through. They could see clearly that he was being held in solitary confinement.

“There he is,” Shane said. “All comfy and cozy and by himself.” He held the phone up so that John and Marlena could see the screen closer. Orpheus was indeed sitting inside a ten by ten cell all by himself, reading a book. Marlena flinched a little as she always did at seeing him but was content in the knowledge that he was locked up and would not hurt her or anyone she loved. At least, she hoped for the last part.

“Thank you, Shane,” Marlena said. “I’m sorry to have troubled you.”

“No trouble at all. You take care, now. Call if you need anything.” Shane smiled, and hoped these calls would eventually be unnecessary once Marlena recovered.

“Will do,” John said and ended the call. “Feel better?” he asked, looking at Marlena.

“Much,” she said, as she smiled shyly at him. “So, what did you want to do today?”

John raised an eyebrow and turned his head ever so slightly. “I was hoping you’d say that,” Marlena replied with a giggle, and John chased her all the way to their bedroom.

A couple of hours later, they had showered and dressed and were sitting in the living room after working up a huge appetite. “You know,” John said, “It was great having Brady and Rachel here, but I must say, it is nice having our whole house to ourselves.” 

“You’re right,” Marlena replied. “I didn’t know the couch in the guest room was so comfortable.” She smiled and John laughed as he looked at her. She was so much better than she had been, and so much more herself. He was genuinely pleased about that, but knew they had to broach the topic of treatment soon. He wanted to ensure that she was completely ok and not just on the surface.

“So,” she said, “what shall we do, now that we have wasted half the day?”

“Wasted?” John asked. “You call the last two hours a waste?” He took her hand and pulled her to him to lay on his chest while looking at her beautiful face. “That was the most productive time I’ve spent in weeks. He kissed the end of her nose and she smiled.

“Yes, Mr. Black, it was very productive, I must agree.”

As he held her, he thought it might be ok to begin talking about her next steps, especially since it had been a few days and they’d had so much time to reconnect. “Speaking of being productive,” he began.

“Yes,” she said.

“Maybe it’s time we started talking about what our next steps need to be.”

“Next steps?” Marlena wasn’t sure where John was going with this.

“Mmm, hmm.”

“Next steps with what?”

“Your treatment, Doc.” John tried to say it as tenderly as he could so as not to upset her or bring up any harsh memories.

Marlena looked down as she lay across John’s chest. Her mood had changed instantly, but she wasn’t angry or upset, just a bit solemn. She knew this conversation was coming, that it had to come; she just wasn’t looking forward to it.

“What do you think we should do?” Marlena looked back up at him, and her expression had changed from laughing and teasing to serious and a little concerned. John heard in her voice that little bit of nervousness and all he wanted to do was scoop her up and take her away forever. But that wouldn’t fix this. Running away to the most isolated place on earth wouldn’t fix this. He would have done it in a heartbeat if it would.

“I’m not the expert on this, Doc. This is your area, now. What do you think?” He wanted her to have ownership in this decision and do what she felt would be best. He knew he would support whatever she wanted, but he wanted to put the control back into her hands, because he felt like that was one of the things she’d lost in all of this.

“I’m not sure,” she said softly. She had barely made any decisions in the last several days that were more important than what to eat for dinner, and it wasn’t like her to doubt herself. But she wasn’t sure she could make the best decision since the problem was happening in her own mind. “Maybe we should all talk as a family and discuss it, with Kayla and Kimberly’s input, too, since they’ve been my doctors.”

“Sounds like a plan,” John said. They sat up and he got his phone. He called the kids one by one and asked them to meet with him and Marlena in a couple of days to help decide what to do for her. Belle and Sami planned to be on a flight later that evening or the next day at the latest. Carrie would have to stay in Switzerland as she was in the middle of a trial, but wanted to be called when everyone was meeting. Brady and Eric were available at a moment’s notice, and Paul would also have to be called in because he couldn’t leave training camp.

Then he texted Kayla and Kimberly and asked if they would be able to meet as well. Kayla was on board in a moment, given that they planned to meet at the hospital. Kimberly was happy to fly out again and help. She’d been feeling quite responsible after leaving Marlena, not realizing the state she was actually in, so she was more than happy to come and help.

After talking with all her children, Marlena felt warm and loved, and much better about the decision that was to come. She knew these people loved her so much and would work together to ensure she was taken care of. It was nice feeling like she could depend on all of them and not be the strongest of all of them for a while.

As she relaxed in John’s arms that night during a movie in bed, she was sure things would work out ok.

I hope so, Fear said. But I am still here.

“Are you cold, baby?” John felt her shiver just a bit as she lay there in his arms. He drew the blanket closer around her and squeezed her tighter.

“No,” she said, “it just felt like someone was walking on my grave.” But she shook it off and snuggled down into him a little more. Almost at once she was asleep, and John turned off the tv.

John closed his eyes and thought about the decisions that lay ahead. He felt certain that they would find a way for Marlena to heal and be back to her old self.

But now that I’m here, she will never be the same again.

Chapter Fourteen

Belle and Sami arrived at the airport coincidentally at almost the same time. They found each other as they were heading to meet with John and Marlena, and it gave them a moment to talk briefly in person before being in front of their parents.

After exchanging hugs and the obligatory “How was your flight?”, Belle asked, “What do you think about all of this?” They had all been texting off and on in the kids’ group chat since John had first left town weeks ago, but it had intensified now that they knew their mother was having real concerns.

“I don’t know, it doesn’t seem like Mom at all. I mean, she’s never been bothered like this about anything. Do you think it’s really this bad?” Sami was having a hard time believing her mother could have any type of mental concern.

“No, it doesn’t seem like her, but it does make sense,” Belle said. “I mean, think about what all has happened to her over the years. Wouldn’t you have a little PTSD from all of that?”

“Probably so,” Sami sighed. “It’s just hard thinking about Mom being anything but the strong-willed, hard-nosed person she’s always been.”

“She’s only like that with you, Sami,” Belle teased.

“Very funny, Tink.” Sami called her sister by her nickname because, even though she loved it when Brady or her dad called her that, it annoyed her when Sami did.

At that moment, the girls could see John and Marlena waiting for them at the terminal entrance. They smiled and waved when they saw them, and their parents waved back, obviously happy to see them.

When the girls reached John and Marlena, they exchanged long hugs, especially with their mother. It had been a while since Sami and Belle had been home, and they were grateful to be there. Belle put her hand on Marlena’s arm and asked, “Mom, how are you really?” The thought of her mother being fragile in any way made Belle a little bit nervous given how much she had always depended on her.

“I’m ok now, sweetheart. I’m so much better, thanks to your father.” She smiled over at John, and he returned the gesture. “I’m taking my medication, and I’m sleeping much better, too.”

Sami asked, “So what comes next? I mean, what is it that you want us to talk about?”

“Why don’t we talk about that in the car?” John asked. He thought it better to have the conversation more privately rather than in the middle of a busy airport. They all headed to the car and as he drove, John explained in more detail some of the things that Dr. Raynor and Dr. Bryson had explained to him and Marlena. She also talked a little bit about what had been happening to her so the girls could understand why she needed to consider more treatment.

As they entered the townhouse, their conversation continued. “Do you think it’s a good idea, John, for her to stay at Bayview for a while?” Sami asked. She didn’t want her mother staying in a mental hospital if she really didn’t need to.

“Well, I don’t know for sure, Sami. That’s why you all are here, for us to talk about it and figure it out together.”

“I think we should make sure Mom gets all the help she could possibly need,” Belle responded. After going through so many issues with Claire, and after it took a while for Claire to get the help she needed, Belle wanted to pursue a more aggressive approach.

“Well, yeah, of course, we want her to get help, but that doesn’t mean she automatically needs to be committed.” Sami’s tone caught Belle the wrong way and she was instantly defensive.

“I never said she needed to be committed, Sami, why would you say that?”

“I just meant that there are more treatment options available than just sending her away right off the bat.”

“Oh my God, I don’t want to ‘send her away’,” Belle said as she air quoted the last part.

John and Marlena were listening to the girls begin to argue, and Marlena looked at John out of the corner of her eye. He picked up quickly that this was making her uncomfortable, so he stepped in to stop the girls before they really began to fight.

“How about the two of you go and put your things in your rooms, ok?” John literally stepped in between them to stop them from speaking any further. They both realized they were letting things get out of hand and apologized.

“I’m sorry, Mom, I didn’t mean to sound like I don’t want you to get the help you need,” Sami said.

“And I didn’t mean to sound like I wanted you to get treatment somewhere if you’re not comfortable with it,” Belle chimed in.

“It’s ok, girls. I know you love me, and you just want to do what’s best.” Marlena smiled at them reassuringly and they both hugged her as they went off to unpack.

“They love you very much,” John said as he hugged Marlena from behind.

She wrapped her arms around his and said, “Yes, they do. I just wish they could agree more easily on how to show it.” She chuckled a bit, thinking about how different her two girls were.

“That would make it easier, wouldn’t it? But, then again, it probably wouldn’t be as much fun.” They both smiled and Marlena turned so she could wrap her arms all the way around John and rest her head on his chest.

“You’re right about that,” she sighed.

“But that does bring up a point, Doc. I think it might be better for you not to be in the room when we’re all together discussing this. There may be some disagreements about what to do and I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or pressured by anything.” John is concerned after seeing how just a little bit of normal bickering between his daughters made Marlena feel.

She pulled back a bit and looked at him. “You may be right. And I do want everyone to feel comfortable enough to speak their minds as well, without worrying about saying it in front of me.” Marlena paused as a thought crossed her mind.

You mean leave me alone?

“But I don’t really want to be here at the house by myself,” she said quietly.

“No, of course not.” John brushed it off as normal so Marlena wouldn’t feel embarrassed. “You could wait in the nurses’ lounge right outside the conference room on the third floor at the hospital. Would that be ok?”

Marlena brightened at the idea of just being in the next room. “Yes, that would work perfectly.”

“Then that’s the plan.”

Kimberly’s flight arrived the next morning and Eric was sent to pick her up. He took her straight to the hospital to meet with the rest of the family. They talked in the car about how things had been, and Kimberly was pleased to hear Marlena was doing so much better. When they got to the third floor, Kimberly was glad to see everyone and exchanged hugs all around. This was the first time in a long time that so much of the family was together in one place and they spent several minutes talking and chatting before John said it was time to get on with why they were there.

Everyone headed to the conference room while John walked Marlena to the nurses’ lounge next door. He led her to a couch, and she sat down as he squatted down in front of her and held her hands in his. “I’ll be right next door, ok Doc?” John didn’t want to patronize her, but this would be the first real time in a couple weeks that Marlena had actually been by herself. “I can ask one of the nurses to sit in here with you if you want.”

Yes, please.

“Don’t be silly,” she said. “They’re all working and busy and, like you said, you’ll just be next door.” The hospital was where she worked, and she didn’t want anyone to think she couldn’t even sit by herself for a bit.

Please, I don’t want to be alone.

John felt her hands shiver just the slightest bit and asked again, “I’m sure they’d love to talk with you. Are you sure you don’t want me to ask?”

Marlena pushed it down and resigned herself to be strong. “Yes, darling, I’m sure. You go on. We don’t want to keep everyone waiting.”

“Ok, but please come get me if you need me.” John was hesitant to leave, but wanted to be supportive and help her see that she could be strong.

“I will,” she said.

John kissed her softly and lingered there for a moment to help her feel his love and his presence until finally he let go saying, “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too.”

He walked into the room, and everyone quieted down so that he could begin. Eric had called Carrie, and Belle had called Paul, so both were on speakerphone listening in. John said, “Before we start, I need to say something.” Everyone looked around, hearing the tone that was present in John’s voice. They could tell he was upset about something, but they weren’t sure what. “When I left town a few weeks ago, I asked all of you to check on Marlena for me while I was gone. I told you that she was feeling out of sorts and to please call her or visit her a little more. And evidently that wasn’t taken very seriously. I’ve already talked with Brady and Eric about this, but I want this to be clear with everyone moving forward. After today, Marlena is going to be everyone’s first priority. Her well-being and her mental, emotional, and physical health are going to be on everyone’s radar. We are all going to look out for her like she has looked out for us and we’re all going to do whatever it takes to help her recover and process this. Am I clear?”

The kids all responded in the affirmative, knowing what it was like to be reprimanded by their father. But Kayla and Kimberly weren’t quite as cooperative. “John, I’m not sure what it is you think we did or didn’t do. I mean, we took care of Marlena when she fainted, we got her medication and fluids when she was throwing up. What else do you think we should have done?” Kayla was genuinely hurt by John’s remarks and a bit offended.

“Well, I think that my wife was suffering from hallucinations for over two weeks, and nobody seemed to notice. I think she was having a mental crisis, and nobody stopped long enough to care.” John was becoming emotional again thinking about Marlena being home alone and scared.

“John, I never saw any indication that was happening to her. She never told me any of that, and what she was presenting with didn’t support it.”

“But why didn’t you get Steve to contact me? He could have easily gone to the ISA and gotten them to get me out of Stockholm.”

“For what, John? Marlena wasn’t really that sick, and she was showing no signs of anything related to PTSD that I could see. All she said was that she was tired and had a couple disturbing dreams, but that the medication she wanted should help with that. Plus, which one of us is going to contradict her when it comes to a psychiatric diagnosis?”

“You still should have called me!” John was beginning to raise his voice, and Kayla didn’t appreciate it.

“And tell you what?” Kayla fired back. “That I thought Marlena was dehydrated and had a mild case of stomach flu? And then tell you that you should fly back from stopping a coup in another country because your wife fainted?”

John wasn’t happy with that answer, and it made him even more emotional. He then turned his attention to Kimberly. “Well, you should have known something! You spent the entire weekend with her. She even told you she was seeing Orpheus, and you didn’t say anything.”

Kimberly was becoming incensed at John’s implications against her and her sister. “Ok, first of all, I did say something. I tried calling five different people in the agency and no one would tell me a thing. Second, I told her she needed to start a treatment plan because she was showing classic signs of PTSD. But she refused. She said she knew herself and what she was experiencing, and she was fine. When I asked if I could get Kayla in on it, she threatened to pull my license if I said anything because I was her doctor and I wasn’t allowed to discuss her condition with anyone. So yeah, I tried, John. I tried.”

“And you didn’t think it would make sense to call the police if she said she was seeing Orpheus? Or me?” John raised his voice even louder, and he was becoming angry.

“John, no offense, but the Salem PD is basically useless when it comes to him. He ‘killed’ himself inside their department and still managed to get away. And again, Marlena made me swear not to say anything because she thought Orpheus had contacts in every place where her children and grandchildren were. She thought he was threatening to hurt them if she did anything to let on that he was around. So no, I wasn’t going to go against her wishes on what she believed was a valid threat.”

“But you should have done SOMETHING!” John roared.

“Well yeah, maybe so,” Kimberly shot back. “And maybe you shouldn’t have left her in the beginning, or this might never have happened in the first place!”

The room was silent, and Kimberly covered her mouth as she realized what she had said. Her eyes went wide as John backed away from her. She lowered her hand and said quietly, “Oh, John, oh God, I…I didn’t mean that. Please…”

Chapter Fifteen

TW:  brief mention of sexual assault

After John left, Marlena sat back on the couch. She’d wished she’d brought something to read or do. Sitting by herself with nothing but her thoughts was not something she was comfortable with yet.

I don’t like this.

She felt the uneasiness creeping in but was aware of it and reminded herself that she was strong and capable.

Just then a nurse came in to get some coffee. “Hi, Dr. Evans! I didn’t know you were in today.”

“I’m just visiting,” she said with a smile.

“How are you feeling? I heard you had a stomach flu or something like that?”

“Something like that, but I’m doing much better now, thank you.” She was glad that the nurse didn’t know the whole story.

“Have you heard how your patient is doing? The boy that was burned in the fire a few weeks ago?”

Oh no

“No, I hadn’t. How’s he doing?” Marlena shuddered a bit but resolved to stay strong.

“He’s much better,” she said as she waited for the Keurig to finish. “They’ve started doing some skin grafting for him. Painful, you know, but it seems to be working well. His dad asks about you and when you will be returning. I think they’re interested in scheduling some therapy sessions.”

“I’ll make sure to contact them as soon as I can, thanks.” Marlena was becoming uncomfortable but worked to keep up the façade.

“He’s just down the hall if you’d like to stop in and say hi.” She grabbed her cup and walked out the door. “It was good seeing you Dr. Evans!” 

“You too.” Marlena sighed heavily as the door closed. If she’d had any thought that she was ready to return to work, that interaction showed her otherwise. She tried to focus her thoughts on John and the fact that he was on the other side of the wall, but she began to feel a shiver down her back.

He’s coming. I know he’s coming.

“This is not real, Marlena. This is in your mind, and it is not real. You are safe, and nothing is happening to you.” She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. And then, she felt it. She knew when she opened her eyes he would be standing there. “Go away,” she said, with her eyes still closed.

“Now you know you can’t get rid of me that easily.” Orpheus was there. She knew he wasn’t real, but he still terrified her.

“Go…away,” she said again, trying to will herself to make him disappear.

“I told you. I can get to you any time, Marlena, and I will. Every time I have the opportunity to.”

She opened her eyes and spoke directly at him. “You aren’t real. This isn’t real. John is next door, and I am safe.” Marlena tried to remain calm and logical so that she could stay in control.

“Then why don’t you go get him, Marlena? Why don’t you get up and tell him and your whole family that you’re seeing me again. That way you can make the decision easy for them and they can send you to Bayview today.”

I can’t go to Bayview. I’ve been there twice. I can’t go there again, or I won’t come home.

“I am fine,” she answered. “You don’t scare me, and John will be back in a moment.” She knew in her head it was illogical to be talking to a hallucination, but she was trying to stay focused.

“Oh, but I do scare you, Marlena, truly I do.”

—-

John stared at Kimberly and Kayla for a moment. No one breathed after their tense interaction until finally, over the speakerphone, Carrie said, “John, we all wish we’d done more to be there for her when she needed us. And I know you want to protect her from ever being hurt. But even you can’t protect her from everything. This isn’t something any of us could have prevented. This is something that has been with her for years and has finally shown its face. We couldn’t have ever predicted this would happen and it’s not your fault.”

Carrie, ever the wise one, knew just how John was truly feeling. John looked around, his anger now gone, and said, “But you see, punkin, that’s just it. That’s what I’m supposed to do. It’s my job to protect her and keep her from harm. I heard her asking me to help her that morning and I just…I left her. I went to go be the big tough guy and I left my sweet Marlena to fend for herself. After that terrible nightmare, and after she was so scared…” John couldn’t continue as tears were streaming down his face.

“Daddy, it’s ok.” Belle went to him and put her arms around him.

Brady also went and put his hand on his dad’s shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up, Dad. We’re all here now and we’re all going to help her through this, no matter what.”

Just then, a nurse burst in the door. “Mr. Black come quick it’s Dr. Evans!”

John raced out the door and was in the lounge in less than a second. “Doc! Oh my God, what happened!” There were gasps from the rest of the family as they came to the door to see what was happening. Marlena was on the floor unconscious. It looked as if there had been a struggle in the room as magazines and papers were strewn everywhere, the small table with the Keurig and K-cups was overturned, and Marlena was bleeding a little bit from a cut on the back of her hand.

John was next to her instantly as was Kayla. Janine and Michelle were already there checking Marlena’s vitals. “Don’t move her John, we need to make sure she doesn’t have a head or neck injury. Janine, get me a backboard and neck brace and clear an exam room stat!” Janine hurried out as Kayla turned her attention to her patient. “It’s ok, Marlena, we’re here and we’re going to make sure you’re ok.”

When Janine came back, she and Kayla and Michelle put Marlena in the neck brace and gently put the backboard under her. John helped them carry her quickly into the exam room. Kayla looked at him as they put her on the gurney. She started to tell him to leave, but knew he wouldn’t, so she began to work. They drew blood and checked for broken bones. She still had not woken up, so they sent her for a CT as well. John waited in the hallway while they were running the test, furious with himself for ever leaving her.

“I knew it. I knew I should have kept her with me. Why in hell did I ever leave her alone again?”

“John, she was in there for maybe 15 minutes by herself. This is not your fault.” Eric said.

“That’s right,” Sami chimed in. “We don’t know what happened to Mom.”

“I know,” John said. “I know exactly what happened.”

“How could you, Daddy?” Belle asked. “You weren’t there?”

“She saw him again. She saw Orpheus again and she tried to fight him off, or something like that. And once again, I wasn’t there.”

“John, if she saw him, it was probably because you weren’t there.” Kimberly was trying to help explain what most likely happened and keep John from continuing to blame himself. “She feels safe with you, so he’s not going to show himself. When she’s afraid, or thinks she might be vulnerable, that’s when he will appear.”

“Then I won’t leave her alone again,” John responded.

“Daddy, you can’t stay with her 24/7. That’s just not reasonable,” Belle said.

“Yeah, John, I mean, she’s got to be able to be alone at some point.” Sami was trying to be practical about the situation.

Kimberly agreed. “Exactly, John. If you never leave Marlena alone, that means that she is never dealing with any of this. You are just becoming a crutch for her, enabling her to avoid all of it. She must process this with therapy and gain some coping skills to manage it. In time, the PTSD may go away, but the underlying trauma will always be present, and she may experience triggers even after treatment. Plus, Marlena has all of the worst-case scenarios related to PTSD, so hers is going to be even harder to treat.”

“What do mean, worst-case scenarios?”

“The trauma she’s experienced, in most cases, was intentional. People did things to her as opposed to experiencing a natural disaster or something. She’s had multiple experiences over and over instead of just isolated events. And she’s even had to deal with sexual assault, although I’m fairly certain she did have counseling for that afterwards and that may not be one of the things coming into play here.”

John closed his eyes at the thought of Marlena being attacked. It had happened long before he knew her, but it made him tremble with rage to think someone could hurt her like that. HIs mood shifted quicky, though, when the nurse brought Marlena back to the exam room. She was awake and called to him as they rolled her by.

He took her hand gently and said, “I’m here, honey. I’m right here. Are you ok?”

“Yes, I’m ok. Did you catch him?” Marlena was quite frightened.

Everyone looked at each other. This was a bad sign, and they knew it. “Catch who, baby?”

“Orpheus! He was in the lounge with me! He said he had a bomb planted in the conference room and he was about to blow it up. I saw the ignition switch in his hand, so I tried to grab it and we fought over it. He pushed me down, but I got the switch! I got it away from him, John!” Marlena was becoming distraught. “He was going to blow everything up but I got it away from him!”

Belle began to cry softly as she witnessed her mother become so upset. Sami came over and put her arm around her and held her. Eric turned around so as not to let her see he was crying as well. Brady just stood stoically with his hand in a tight fist pressed against his mouth. They all knew what this meant. Their mother had to go to Bayview as soon as possible and be treated.

John tried to calm her as he came to the same realization. “You did so good, honey. You saved all of us and kept us safe.” John hugged her and stroked her hair as she finally began to calm down. “We are all safe now, thanks to you. It’s ok, honey. It’s ok.”

Marlena relaxed into his embrace and said, “Oh thank God! I don’t know what I’d do if any of you got hurt. Can you call Shane and tell him he’s escaped, John? You need to call him right now….” Her voice began to trail off as Kayla finished administering a sedative into Marlena’s IV.

“I’ll go call Dr. Raynor,” Kimberly said softly. John nodded. He kept saying, “It’s ok baby, it’s ok,” as he held her and stroked her hair while she slept.

Chapter Sixteen

John sat in the chair next to Marlena’s bed and watched her sleep. He knew she would wake soon since the sedative Kayla had given her would only last a few hours. Dr. Raynor had been called, and arrangements were being made. It was decided that Marlena would spend six to eight weeks at Bayview as an inpatient. When the kids heard the news, they were not happy about it, but the sight of their mother being afraid of visions that weren’t real was something they would remember for a long time. They all agreed that whatever was needed to make her better was what they would do. John was secure in the decision as well, but he was not looking forward to breaking the news to her.

He was lost in his thoughts when she began to stir. Thankfully, she had slept peacefully, and awoke with a smile when she saw him sitting beside her. “Hi there,” she said softly.

“Hey, pretty lady,” John said as he got up and stood beside her bed. He took her hand and smiled at her, but Marlena knew just from his touch that something was amiss.

“What’s the matter?” she asked. “What’s happened?”

“Nothing has happened, sweetheart, everything is fine. I just need to talk with you about something, that’s all.”

“Ok,” she said hesitantly.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

She thought for a moment. Things were still a bit fuzzy because of the sedative, but gradually it came to her. She remembered the lounge, and Orpheus, and fighting with him. She’d tried to tell herself he wasn’t real, but she could feel him grabbing her arms and pushing her down. He had become real to her, even though she knew he couldn’t be. Her eyes got wide as she recalled all of it. The realization that she had lost touch with reality hit her, and she became frightened that it had happened so quickly after being away from John for just a moment. She began to cry out to him, “Oh, no. Oh…..God….oh no! John….please help me!”

He sat down and wrapped his arms tightly around her. “I will baby, I will. And Kimberly will, and the doctors, and your family, too. We all will do whatever it takes to get you well, sweetheart.”

“Do you promise?” she asked as her voice trembled.

John was holding back tears as he said, “Of course. I swear it.”

But still, from deep inside her, she heard Fear say, “He can’t help you. No one can help you now,” and she wondered if it could be right.

She was released from the hospital the following day and John drove her to Bayview. They talked a little in the car, but mostly he held her hand as she looked out the window. She knew this was the right thing, but she was more than a little scared. Not just because of what was happening to her, but because she had been a patient in Bayview before, twice in fact, and both times had been frightening to say the least. However, this time, she told herself, she was going of her own free will.

She got checked in and tried to ignore some of the stares from the staff. It was so hard being there as a patient when, for close to fifty years, she had been on staff there. Had it really been that long? She recounted her first days there helping Mickey Horton, and so many patients afterwards. She knew this would be a hard road, but she was resigned to getting better. What she didn’t realize was that John would not be allowed to visit her, nor would any of her family, for at least two or three weeks. She assumed there would be no visitation for a bit as she got settled, but the thought of it being that long scared her. As they sat in her room saying goodbye, she was trying not to cry but failing miserably.

“I really don’t know if I can do this without you,” she said to him. Saying goodbye to her family the day before was excruciating for all of them, but today, she truly felt like she was coming undone.

“Marlena,” he said as he held her hands tightly in his, “you are a fighter. You have never given up on me not once in all these years. You’ve never quit on us, and you’ve never quit on me. Now, you have to give this fight that same strength, because this is also like not giving up on us. You can do this, I know it. You can overcome anything, and you know that I will be waiting for you at the other end of it. No matter what happens, I will be there when you come home. And I will stay by your side for all of it.”

“But what if these visions just don’t go away? What if I am like this forever?” Marlena was truly scared that she would continue to see Orpheus every time she became frightened or left alone.

“I don’t think it will be that way, but we will face that together, I promise. I’m not leaving you, my love. You never have to worry about that, ok? And as soon as they let me, I will be here to visit and will come every time I’m allowed. You’re safe here, baby, and this will be over soon. They’re going to help you, and this will be over soon.”

At that point, a nurse came in and said, “Mr. Black, I’m sorry, but it’s time.”

He stood up from the bed where they were sitting and she stood with him, never letting go of his hand. Marlena’s tears fell harder now, and she embraced John as tightly as she could. He held on until he felt her start to let go and looked into her eyes. “Remember what I said, Doc. You’re safe, and I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed her softly and stroked her cheek, then kissed her forehead and gave her one last hug.

She took a deep breath, wiped away some of her tears, and said, “Ok, I’m holding you to it.”

“That’s a fact,” he said. “I love you, Doc.”

“I love you, too.”

He walked out the door and the nurse closed it behind her. Marlena sat down and looked around the small room. She prayed everything he said was right, but she just didn’t know at this point if she really had the strength to overcome this. She knew she had survived everything that had ever come at her, but this one was different.

“I am stronger than I’ve ever been.”

“That may be true,” Marlena thought to herself, “but I’m pretty strong, too.”

“We’ll see.”

“Yes, we will.”

Chapter Seventeen

Marlena’s first day at Bayview started off uneventfully. After John left, Marlena had a session with Dr. Raynor and Dr. Bryson. They outlined their plan and talked to Marlena in detail about what they had decided to do. She would have an individual session each morning, a group session in the afternoon, and various things in between including cognitive behavioral therapy to help her identify her thought processes that seemed to trigger the hallucinations, and exposure therapy to gradually build up her tolerances and coping skills. They also wanted her to exercise regularly in the gym, go to meditation and yoga classes, and take a couple additional medications. Marlena the psychiatrist agreed with the entire plan and felt it was well thought out and effective. Marlena the patient was not looking forward to facing everything she would have to face over the coming weeks, but her desire to get better was strong, as was her desire to get back to her husband and family.

“The only real thing we ask, Dr. Evans, is that you trust us with your treatment. Doctors make the worst patients sometimes, and we just want to make it clear that we are treating you. You’re not treating yourself, ok?” Dr. Raynor had a great deal of respect for Marlena, but he knew that helping her to recover completely was going to be a challenge. He did not want to have to fight her about her treatment, nor did he want her second guessing what they were doing, especially in her condition.

“I understand,” she replied. “I trust you both and I know I am in good hands.”

“Alright then, we will set up your therapy schedule with the nurses so they will know where you’re supposed to be and when. It’s almost noon now, so why don’t you head to the cafeteria and have some lunch. Then you can go to yoga and meditation at 1:00. Sound good?”

“Sounds great.” Marlena headed out of the room to have lunch.

Dr. Bryson looked at Dr. Raynor. “This is not going to be easy, not with the amount of trauma she’s experienced in her life.”

“I know,” Dr. Raynor replied, “that’s why we’ve got to try very hard to get her to do the therapy wholeheartedly. This is Marlena Evans, for God’s sake. We can’t fail her.”

“You’re right about that.” Dr. Bryson said. “We can’t.”

After lunch and yoga, Marlena felt sated and calm. She’d taken some new meds to help her with anxiety and they seemed to be working well. She was pleased at that and she renewed her resolve to get better. At that point, it was time for group therapy. She was very familiar with the process after facilitating so many of them. Participating, however, was difficult. She was flooded with thoughts of being at Bayview I the past against her will, when everyone thought she was Samantha or Hattie, and she couldn’t escape. No matter how much the doctor who was leading the session encouraged her, she found it very hard to talk about her experiences. Once the session was over, he asked her to speak with him for a moment.

“Marlena, you didn’t seem to have much to say in group today,” Dr. Ashford said.

“Yes, I know. I’m sorry for that. I guess I just feel the weight of everyone’s eyes on me, especially since I have led many of these sessions myself.” Marlena felt a little embarrassed, even though she knew she shouldn’t if she truly wanted to get better. She also wasn’t ready to discuss her true feelings around being there before and how much it had really scared her.

“Well, it is your first day. Everyone struggles at first until they feel comfortable and know they can trust the people they are in group with. I’m sure you’ll get there.”

“I’m sure I will.” Marlena left there and went to her exercise class. She spent an hour walking on the treadmill and was completely spent afterwards. But the endorphins helped a great deal, and she had a huge appetite at supper. Afterwards, she went back to her room and showered. She was also supposed to do some journaling before bed, so she took out her book and pen and began writing about her day. She started to get a little sleepy, so she decided to rest her eyes for a moment. It was only 9 o’clock and she felt it was a little too early to turn in. “This isn’t so bad,” she thought to herself. “Maybe I can get out of here sooner than they think if it’s like this. At least it’s not like the first time.”

Marlena’s thoughts began to wander back to when her sister had switched identities with her and sent her to Bayview. Marlena was trying to get Samantha to voluntarily commit herself so that she could deal with her drug problem, but Samantha wouldn’t go. Eventually she signed the papers, then switched places with Marlena so that the staff thought it was Samantha, but it wasn’t.

The more Marlena thought about it, the more visions of Samantha began to swirl in her head. Then, visions of being in Bayview in a straitjacket went through her mind, and she thought about the second time she was a patient there. Hattie Adams had kidnapped her and was trying to take over her life, so she had Marlena committed, like Samantha did, by saying that Marlena was her. As Marlena daydreamed, she thought about how similarly Sam and Hattie had acted to get her locked in Bayview. Her daydream melted into a dream as she drifted off to sleep. In her dream, she was in her room at Bayview, sitting in her bed, and someone knocked at the door.

“Come in,” Marlena replied. The door opened and in walked Samantha and Hattie, both dressed like nurses, pushing a cart with what looked like bottles of medication and various size injection needles. Marlena was confused as she watched Sam close the door behind them.

“What’s going on?” Marlena asked. “Why are you here, Sam?”

“Listen to her, Hattie, she can’t figure this out,” Samantha said.

“I thought she was the great Dr. Marlena Evans! She should be able to get it, don’t you think?” Hattie replied.

“She is the great Saint Marlena, that’s for sure.”

“What are you two doing here?” Marlena didn’t know what they wanted or what this was about.

“What do you think we’re doing here, Doc?” Hattie asked. “We’ve come to finish what we started.”

“What does that mean?” Marlena became frightened as Hattie began to load a needle with some type of medication.

“It means, genius, that Sam is here to make sure you take your treatments, and I’m going to take over your life. You’re going to be here forever, and I’m going back home to John and your family.” Hattie smiled at Marlena as if this were just a normal thing. Marlena became more fearful of what was happening and began to argue.

“No, you can’t do that. I don’t want any treatments.” She tried to get up but realized there were now restraints on her arms and legs, and she couldn’t get out of the bed. “NO! You can’t do that! Sam, you can’t do this to me!”

“Now, now, Marlena. We can’t get all hysterical, ok? This is all for your own good,” Samantha said sweetly. The pleasantness with which they were both speaking to her was completely unsettling to Marlena. Hattie handed Sam the needle and Sam said, “Hold still like a good little girl,” as she injected its contents into Marlena’s left arm.

“NO! Stop it! What is that? What are you doing?” Marlena fought against the restraints, but they got tighter and tighter the more she moved.

“Don’t worry, Marlena, I’ll take good care of John and your kids and everyone. They’ll never know that I traded places with you, and everything will be just like it was, except I’ll be you, and you’ll be here.” Hattie was stroking Marlena’s head as she spoke, and she continued to be unnerved at how calm and soothing Hattie was sounding.

“Why would you do this? I thought we were friends.” Marlena was becoming more and more distraught. “I thought after you helped me get away from Stefano that we’d become friends. I don’t understand this.”

“Well, as I see it, since I did such a good job imitating you, and since you have everyone and I have no one, I’m entitled. I think it’s time you knew what it felt like to be on the other end of the stick.” Hattie smirked at Marlena, and her eyes went wide with fear.

“You can’t do that! John will know it’s you and he will come find me just like the last time!”

“No, I don’t think he will,” Hattie replied.

At that moment, John walked into the room. “John, thank God you came for me! Please, please help me! They’re trying to kill me!” Marlena was relieved to see him, but then he also spoke to her in that saccharine sweet way, and she knew something was wrong.

“Now calm down, Hattie, you know they’re not trying to kill you. This is for your own good, I promise.” John was talking to Marlena, but thought she was Hattie. He then looked at Hattie and said, “Are you almost finished, Doc? We need to get home.”

“Yes, my love,” Hattie said. “We’re all done here. It’s the doctor’s turn now.” Hattie, Sam, and John turned and walked towards the door.

“NO!” Marlena screamed. “JOHN! You can’t leave me here! Please!”

They opened the door, and a doctor was there waiting to come in. “Right on time, doctor,” Hattie said. “She’s ready to go.”

“Thank you, Dr. Evans,” he said as he wheeled the machine into the room.

Hattie looked back at Marlena and gave her a little wave. “Bye now, Hattie. Be good for the doctor.” She walked out arm in arm with John, and Samantha followed behind.

Samantha also turned and said with a sarcastic smile, “Bye bye, and good luck with your….treatments,” and walked out.

Marlena saw the doctor had an electroshock therapy machine and realized what was about to happen. She pulled harder and harder at the restraints, but she could not move, and she began to panic.

“NO! NO! Stop this! You can’t!”

The doctor spoke to her in that same, sing-song sweet tone. “Alright Hattie, you need to calm down now. Everything will be just fine. This won’t hurt at all. Open up now!” He forced Marlena’s mouth open and put the bite block between her teeth. “There, that’s a good girl. Ok now, here we go!”

As Marlena felt a shock go through her body, she jolted awake. She was drenched with sweat and her bed looked like she’d been wrestling with a bear. She sat up and looked all around, making sure no one was there, and nothing was happening. When she saw the room was clear, she began to relax a bit and slow her breathing. She pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, sitting her chin on top of her knees. “I don’t know if I can do this without you, John,” she said to the stillness, as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Chapter Eighteen

Marlena awoke the next morning from a fitful sleep. She did not have another nightmare, but her sleep was clouded with visions of unhappy memories. The thoughts of her sister made her miss her even more than usual, and she was very quiet in her morning therapy session. The doctors prodded her to talk, but she was not very forthcoming as she sat across from them with her legs crossed and arms folded in around her protectively. Finally, Dr. Raynor grew tired of her silence. “Marlena,” she said, “you know as well as I do that if you don’t talk to us about this, you’re not going to get better.” Dr. Bryson was taken aback a bit by Dr. Raynor’s forceful tone but knew in his mind that she was right. Marlena could not remain closed off to them and therapy if she had any hope of working through all of this.

“Yes,” she said quietly. “I do know that. I just don’t know how to talk about all of this to anyone except John. I’ve learned to be so strong because of what we have been through, and the only person I can be vulnerable to is him.”

“I understand, that,” Dr. Raynor said as she reached over and put her hand on Marlena’s knee. “But we are here to help you deal with this. We are here to help you process this, and we are here to make sure you come through it ok. We are a team, and we’re going to help you heal.”

Marlena looked into Dr. Raynor’s caring eyes and began to believe that she meant what she said. She looked at Dr. Bryson, and he nodded in agreement. Marlena relaxed her arms and held her hands together in her lap. “Ok, then. Where do we start?”

From that day on, Marlena answered every question they had openly and honestly. The realization of just how much she had put away feelings of anxiety and fear and just power through them was eye-opening for her, she had done it without ever allowing herself to feel any of it. There were things she had felt and grieved, of course, but they were outweighed by those she just pushed away. She began to see how much she had depended on John and knew that she also had to learn to depend on herself.

After a week or so, Marlena was missing John terribly. She had been away from him for longer periods than this, but hardly ever by choice. It was vital she spent this early time in her therapy not being distracted by anyone or anything so she could focus on her feelings and learn the skills she needed to cope with her trauma and her triggers. But John was so tightly woven into the fabric of why and how she had experienced so much of the trauma, she found it hard not to be distracted. One therapy session in particular found her dealing with something so deep-seated, even her doctors weren’t sure how she would process it.

“So how did Stefano first become a part of your life?” Dr. Raynor asked. Dr. Bryson was dealing with an emergency at the moment, so it was just the two of them.

“Well, he came to town just before Roman and I were married. He even came to our wedding. I wish I’d known then what I know now.” Marlena’s gaze trailed off as she thought of some of the things he’d done to all of them over the years.

“Why?” Dr. Raynor asked.

“Because I would have done everything I could have to put him behind bars then, or worse.” Flashes of shooting Stefano flashed through her mind.

“Why do you think he took such an interest in you? Was it like that from the start?” Dr. Raynor was curious and wanted to help Marlena analyze his behavior some so that she could process it better.

“A little bit. I mean, he thought I was a worthy adversary from the start, which I’m not too sure about. I sort of grew into that role. But he did go after me and my children. I think that was more geared towards Roman than anything else, though.”

“So why did he begin to become obsessed with you?”

Marlena became quiet. “Because of John, I think,” she said. “He told me that when we were at Maison Blanche, and I did what I did to save John’s life, that was really what did it.”

“What did you do?” Dr. Raynor asked gently.

“Well, I was there because John called me to come. At least, I thought it was him. I thought he was in danger, so I went. But it was all a trap Stefano devised. He even made me call Roman and tell him I was with John so that he wouldn’t come looking for me. I tried to convey that something was wrong, but he didn’t pick up on it and he didn’t come. So, John and I were there trying to get away from Stefano. He was threatening to wipe John’s memories for good, and I had to do something, especially after what John had done for me.” She was crying softly at this point.

“And that was?”

“He drank poison for me, to keep me safe. But I had to get us out of there, and John was too weak, so I did the only thing that I could do.”

As Marlena told the story of how she took her clothes off for Stefano so that she could drug him, a strange revelation formed in her mind. Stefano was obsessed with her because she and John loved each other. His Pawn, his creation, loved her and now she loved him. He went crazy trying to get her away from him. And then, she realized Orpheus had come after her for the same reason—because John loved her.

Finally, she looked at Dr. Raynor and said softly, “So many things have happened to me because I love John.” That statement caused a fundamental shift in her thinking, and not one that she had expected. She began to feel angry almost, or at least resentful, that she had been through so many dangerous things, so many terrorizing things, because she loved him. Their affair nearly destroyed her family, and still had repercussions today, especially for Sami. She’d been kidnapped numerous times because someone wanted to hurt John. Her children had been hurt because of everything that had happened to her.

Dr. Raynor looked at her and could tell she was thinking something important. “What is it, Marlena?”

She looked at Dr. Raynor as if an epiphany had happened inside her and she didn’t know what to do. “So many of the bad things that have happened to me have been because I love John, I’m with John, because John loves me….” Her thoughts trailed off as she made connections she’d never really made before. “But…he’s always been my protector. He’s always come for me, and found me, and saved me.”

Dr. Raynor could hear the struggle in Marlena’s voice. “Yes, he has been that for you.”

Marlena’s thoughts began flowing faster and faster. “But…if we’d never been together, these things wouldn’t have happened. Stefano wouldn’t have been obsessed with me like he was. Orpheus would have gone after John and not me. I would have been safe from so many things if I’d never loved him. Oh God!” Marlena was sobbing uncontrollably at this point. The thought that being with John and loving him were the very things that had caused so much of her trauma went against everything she believed, and the intersection of those thoughts was almost more than she could handle.

“Marlena, it’s ok. We’re going to work through this. It’s ok.” Dr. Raynor went and sat beside Marlena and put an arm around her, but she continued to sob and was becoming overwrought, so Dr. Raynor got up and called for a nurse to come in with a sedative.

A few minutes later, Marlena was resting peacefully in her room. Dr. Raynor and Dr Bryson were standing at the door watching her sleep. “That was a hard revelation she had today,” Dr. Bryson said. He’d been brought up to speed on what had happened as they moved Marlena back to her room.

“It was,” Dr. Raynor replied. “But it had to happen. She won’t be able to depend on herself unless she realizes that the choice she’s made to be with John can come with danger. She’s got to be able to accept that it could happen again and know how to deal with it.”

“But what if she doesn’t? What if she doesn’t want to risk being in danger again?” Dr. Bryson asked.

“I don’t know, but I don’t want to be the one to tell him if she does.”

Chapter Nineteen

It had been three weeks since John had taken Marlena to Bayview. He had not had a single night of sleep when he hadn’t woken up at least twice to reach for her but didn’t find her there. Brady had noticed he’d lost a little weight and had tried to spend a good bit of time with him to keep him company. But he knew there was nothing he could really do. Missing Marlena and being worried about her were the roots of his problems, and everyone that knew John knew that.

He’d called Bayview twice a day every day to check on her. They told him about the nightmare she’d had the first night, and he cried after hanging up the phone because he wasn’t there to hold her afterwards. He also knew she was making some real progress in her therapy, and she was beginning to deal with emotions that she had never acknowledged. Dr. Raynor was careful to protect Marlena’s privacy when talking with John, but Marlena had made it clear when she came to Bayview that he was to be kept informed of every aspect of her treatment and recovery. She had not wanted to risk anything happening to her without John’s knowledge given her history there as a patient. The most recent revelations, however, were something that Dr. Raynor wanted to make sure Marlena could discuss with him when she felt ready and in the manner she felt best.

This morning, though, John was ebullient. He went to the Pub for some breakfast early, and Roman commented on just how much better he seemed to be. “I am better,” John said. “I finally get to visit Doc today, and Roman, I just can’t wait to get there.”

Roman was pleased. “So, she’s doing better?” He’d heard from Eric about Marlena’s progress and treatment.

“So they tell me,” John replied. “All I want to do is just put my arms around her, you know? Just see her and hold her and tell her I love her and that I can’t wait until she’s home.”

“She won’t be ready to come home for a while, though, from what Eric says.” Roman was being a bit more cautious in his optimism.

“Well, yeah,” John said, “But I know she’ll be home eventually.” He was not going to let anything put a damper on his enthusiasm, not today.

“That’s true, John, but just be prepared that she may not be exactly the same. She’s working through a lot of stuff that has happened over years and years and she may not be as ok with it as you think.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” John and Roman had always been a little tense with each other where Marlena was concerned, for obvious reasons, but John didn’t appreciate Roman’s acting like he knew Marlena better than her husband did.

“I just mean that you shouldn’t have any expectations about today. Just let her be however she needs to be and don’t try to make it what you want it to be.”

“I’d never do that,” John said slowly. He didn’t appreciate Roman’s tone, either, especially since Roman had often tried to do that very thing to her when they were married.

Roman sensed the shift in John’s mood and decided to back off. “I know you wouldn’t. We all want the best for Marlena, and I’m glad you’re going to see her today. I’m sure that will be good for both of you.”

“I’m sure it will,” John said with a smile.

At Bayview, Marlena was up and dressed. She’d been feeling much stronger as of late and was happy with the decision she had made. It had been a hard three weeks, but she’d finally gotten to the point where she wasn’t really remembering her dreams, and what she did remember was pleasant. She was talking animatedly in her therapy sessions and sharing easily. She’d even toned up a bit from the regular exercise and had promised herself to continue it once she was released.

As she finished brushing her hair, someone knocked at her door. “Come in,” she said as she put down her brush.

Dr. Raynor peeked in from around the door. She knew today was the first time she was going to see John since coming to Bayview, and she was curious how she felt she would handle it.” Good morning, Marlena, how are you feeling today?” 

“I’m wonderful, thank you,” she replied.

“Are you ready for today?”

Marlena took a deep breath and said, “Yes, I think I am.” She had thought long and hard about what she would say to John today and how she would bring up what she wanted to tell him. She didn’t know how he would react but hoped he would be understanding and supportive. All the work she’d done these past three weeks had led to this decision and, as hard as it would be for her, she knew it was the right decision. She knew it would also have an impact on so many others, and she didn’t want to upset anyone or disappoint them, but she had to put herself and her own well-being first. That, she knew for sure.

Dr. Raynor wished her luck and left. She felt Marlena had reached the right decision too but knew that many other people would have an opinion about it as well. She hoped that everyone would be supportive of her, but she also realized that it would impact several people that Marlena cared deeply about. “At least,” she thought to herself, “she will be here for a little bit longer while everyone figures out how to respond to her decision.”

John walked into the lobby at Bayview and told the receptionist he was there to see his wife. She smiled and asked him to wait in the family lounge while she called Marlena’s room to let her know he was there. He thanked her and walked to the lounge. No one was there, and he was grateful because he wanted to have her all to himself. He paced for a moment, being more nervous than he would have cared to admit, and was reading a poster on the wall when he heard her call softly, “John?”

His heart leapt inside his chest as just the sound of her voice filled his entire being. He inhaled sharply and closed his eyes as he let her presence flow through him, making him whole again. He turned slowly and saw her standing in the doorway. He thought she was glad to see him, but there was more on her face than he could read. “Hey baby,” he said gently. They stood there for a moment, transfixed, just looking at each other. John still couldn’t read the look on her face, so he asked, “How are you doing?” He didn’t want to push, even though he wanted nothing more than to run to her and wrap her in a tight embrace.

She smiled. “I’m better,” she said. “Much better.”

“I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that, sweetheart.” John smiled at her, feeling like the light inside him was beginning to return after a long storm.

“Shall we sit?” Marlena asked as she motioned towards the couch.

“Of course,” John said. They sat together, and he just kept staring at her, trying to decipher what was on her mind.

Marlena knew she would have to tell him her decision sooner or later and could tell he already knew that something was up. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her since she’d walked in, but he was waiting for her to tell him in her own time. She wasn’t sure how to start, exactly, so she just dove in, hoping he would understand.

Marlena took a breath, and then began. “I’ve done a lot of soul searching since I’ve been here, and it’s been…..very hard at times, thinking about all the things that have happened to me. I’ve realized that many times I just pushed away the feelings and the reactions to everything and I never actually dealt with what had happened. Most of the time, I just wanted to get back to you, because I knew with you I was safe. I knew you would protect me, and you would keep anyone from hurting me.”

“That’s a fact,” John said.

Marlena smiled a little at his catchphrase and continued. “But you couldn’t protect me from everything, could you?”

“No,” John said. “I…I guess I couldn’t.” He didn’t know what she was getting to, but for some reason, he started to become apprehensive.

“And the more I talked about things, I came to sort of a revelation. Well, two, actually. The first one was very, very hard. Honestly, it may be the hardest thing I’ve ever come to realize about my life.”

John was listening intently, and he could tell by the tone in her voice this was the most serious conversation they’d probably ever had. It made him even more concerned about what she was going to say. “And what was that?”

She paused for a moment and looked deeply at him. This was going to be so hard to say, but she knew she couldn’t heal completely if she didn’t. “That many of the things that have traumatized me in my life were because of you. Because I loved you….because you loved me….because I chose to love you.”

John froze for a moment, wide eyed and cognizant of the implications of what she was saying. He looked away slowly, fixing his eyes on nothing and everything at the same time. Deep in his mind he knew this to be true, but hearing it out loud, hearing it from her, made him feel ashamed, regretful, and devastated all at the same time. He lowered his head and said the only thing he could think of, even though it would never be enough. “I’m sorry, Doc. I’m so sorry….”

She put one hand on his leg and reached for his face, turning it so she could look at him. “John, I’m not saying this to you to punish you, or blame you for anything that has happened. Realizing these things was important to my recovery, and I had to come to terms with them before I could move forward and really begin to deal with it. So, that was my first revelation.”

John was trying desperately not to cry, but he was now positive of what her second revelation was. He knew she was about to tell him that, since he was responsible for much of the trauma she’d been through, she didn’t want to risk being hurt any more. His job and his life were things that had put her in danger, and he resolved himself at that moment to no longer put her in any danger, even if that meant walking away from her. He loved her too much to risk harming her any more than he already had.

“And what was the second one?” John said faintly.

“That loving you was a choice, and I made it freely, multiple times. So, there is nothing for either of us to regret or feel shame for. I loved you with my eyes wide open, knowing everything that that meant. And the very best part….is that I still do.”

John sat for a moment as the words sank into his consciousness, and he realized what she was telling him. “I love you, John Black, and I always, always will.”

John’s face melted as he began to cry. Fear and trepidation gave way to immeasurable joy as he stood and pulled her up with him, wrapping his arms around her so tightly that he picked her up and slowly spun her around. All the while, he was crying into her shoulder, incomprehensibly relieved that she still loved him and wanted him despite what it may have done to her.

“Oh my God, Doc,” he sobbed as he held her. “I love you so much baby…I love you…”

“I love you too, my love,” she said as she held on tightly to his neck. “I love you too, no matter what.”

He stood there holding her for several moments until he’d regained a little composure, then let her down slowly. She looked up into his eyes, her arms still around his neck and his around her waist. “You weren’t worried I was going to say something else, were you John?” She’d realized then how much he’d been crying and thought for a moment he might have misinterpreted what she was about to say.

“No, baby, not for a second.” John had never been more relieved to hear anything in his life, and he would go to his grave never letting her think that he’d doubted her, even for a moment. She was truly the most extraordinary person he’d ever known, and he silently thanked God she’d chosen to be his wife.

Marlena smiled at him and said, “There is one more thing I need to tell you, and I hope you can understand my decision.”

“Of course. I’ll support you on anything, Doc, you know that.”

“I do know that,” she said as she released her arms and pulled him back down to sit on the couch. “Actually, I think you might be pretty ok with this.” John looked at her quizzically but waited for her to continue. “I’ve decided that it is time for me to retire as a psychiatrist. I’m taking down my shingle, closing up shop, and coming home to stay with you. Permanently.”

John was honestly surprised that Marlena wanted to retire. He knew that her job was so much a part of who she was, and he’d respected that for their entire relationship. However, he was not opposed to the idea and could see how, given everything that had happened, taking a step back from a stressful career would make sense. “Wow. I must say I’m a little surprised by that. What did Dr. Raynor say about it?”

“She agrees that it probably makes sense, especially since I’ve been doing it for fifty years.” Marlena chuckled at the last part. It didn’t seem like fifty years ago that she’d become a psychiatrist, but she knew she had put in more than her fair share of time to the profession. “She said she was sorry to see me go, but that she supported the idea and was grateful she’d had the chance to work with me. That felt nice, you know? Thinking that I’ve made an impact on her.”

John smiled at Marlena’s humility about having an impact on her profession. “That was very nice of her indeed. So, what happens now? How much longer will you need to be here, and can I come and visit more often? What about your continuing treatment?”

“She thinks I’m making great progress and that I should be able to come home in another three to four weeks.”

“That’s great!” John said. “Oh, honey, I’m so pleased.” He took both her hands in his and kissed them.

“And yes, you can come two or three times a week. She also said it might be a good thing for us to do some therapy sessions together.”

“Name the time and I’m here.”

“Good. I think that would be helpful for us, too.” And then more seriously, “John, I’m so grateful to you for always supporting me and helping me through all of this. I know now that I am strong, and that I can deal with things on my own but having you behind me makes everything so much better.”

“I feel the exact same way, Doc. And I’ll be here for you no matter what, for always.”

He leaned in to kiss her and she responded, giving him a deep and soulful kiss to make up for not being able to for the past three weeks. But as she did, she felt a small shiver down her back. John sensed it, and pulled away from her as he asked, “Are you ok baby? Are you cold?”

“No, I’m fine. Just someone walking on my grave.”

Chapter Twenty

Over the next three weeks, Marlena’s mental health continued to improve. Her weekly therapy sessions showed she was coping with many things much better than before and could talk about her past experiences rationally more objectively than ever before. The sessions she and John had together helped open up communication between them better than even the doctors had hoped, and everyone was satisfied that Marlena had come through her ordeal stronger and more capable than even she had hoped.

As she packed her things the morning she was to return home, she was happy and relaxed, but a small lingering thought remained in the back of her mind.

What if it happens again? What if I see him again? Fear asked.

As she felt the uneasiness creep in, she did not push it away as she had so often done. She remembered what Dr. Raynor had told her when she posed this very question to her: “As long as you are open and honest with yourself that it is happening, and you realize that needing help doesn’t make you weak or a failure, you will get the help you need. Remember, Marlena, this is an illness, not a stigma or an embarrassment. You treat it like you would any other disease.”

Just then, as if she could hear Marlena’s thoughts, Dr. Raynor stopped at Marlena’s open door. “So, how’s it going this morning?”

Marlena put down her things for a moment and said, “Honestly, I’m a little nervous about being back in the real world again.”

Dr. Raynor smiled. “Honestly, I’d be worried if you said you weren’t. I’m glad you’re being forthcoming about your feelings. It really shows how much you’ve grown in this process and how much healthier you are. You don’t have to carry these burdens and feelings by yourself, you know.”

“I do know that. And thank you for all your help these past few weeks. I will always be grateful.”

“Well, it’s not often you get to help someone like you. I’m just so glad you’re better.”

“I am as well. But now, I think I’d better finish this up or a certain husband of mine might be kept waiting.”

“Well, we can’t have that can we?”

They both laughed, and then gave each other a hug. Dr. Raynor left as Marlena finished packing and then went to the lobby to find John. As she was walking through the hallway, she heard someone call out to her from one of the patients’ rooms. “Dr. Evans! Dr. Evans, hello!”

She turned her head and saw David Fryar coming out of the room next to her. Behind him, lying in the bed, was his son, Kevin, the burn victim that looked so much like Evan Frears.

Oh my God

Marlena steeled herself from having a visible reaction and put a smile on her face to try and hide what she was feeling. She knew that she would eventually have to face challenges that reminded her of what she had experienced and what she’d dealt with at Bayview, but she didn’t expect it would happen so soon.

“Hello, David, how are you?” she asked, trying to sound as normal as possible. She was taking deep, slow breaths to manage her reaction, and practicing the relaxation techniques she’d learned in her meditation classes.

“I’m doing well, I guess, considering,” David replied.

“Considering?” Marlena didn’t want to get into a discussion but felt it would be rude not to at least ask.

“Well, Kevin has done really well with his physical recovery, but he’s been having a lot of trouble getting past what happened to him,” and then much quieter he said, “you know, mentally.”

“Dad!” Kevin shouted from the room. “Stop talking about me like I’m some sort of mental reject, ok?”

David looked embarrassed by Kevin’s comment but didn’t have time to respond as Dr. Raynor walked up to him and Marlena. She smiled at him pleasantly and said, “David, good morning! I hope all is well. I’m so sorry to interrupt, but Marlena’s husband is waiting for her.” She looked at Marlena and said, “I think he’s going to have my head if I don’t get you to the lobby right now. Shall we?” and she motioned down the hallway.

“Of course. David, it was a pleasure seeing you again.”

“Yes, it was. Uh, Dr. Evans, if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to you sometime about scheduling some sessions with Kevin. I really think….”

Dr. Raynor cut him off and said, “I’m so sorry, David, but we really need to get going. Dr. Evans has a full day ahead and her husband has already been waiting.” She put her hand on Marlena’s back and gently nudged her in the direction of the lobby.

“Oh, ok, well, maybe another time.” David looked visibly disappointed.

“Another time,” Marlena said as she began walking away.

Dr. Raynor began apologizing the moment they were out of earshot of David. “I’m so sorry, Marlena, I didn’t know he was here yet. They weren’t supposed to move him in until this afternoon, but his father evidently pushed for this morning. If I’d known he was already here, I would have escorted you out myself.” She was a bit concerned at Marlena seeing Kevin literally the moment she was to leave Bayview.

“It’s ok, honestly. I have to be able to cope with things that might trigger me, just like you’ve told me countless times in our sessions, right?”

“Of course,” Dr. Raynor responded, “but I’d hoped you could have at least gotten out of the building first.”

They smiled at each other and continued walking to the lobby together. As Marlena rounded the corner, John saw her and smiled instantly. He walked towards her, and they embraced. “Ready to break out of here, sweetheart?”

“That I am,” Marlena replied. “Thank you again, Dr. Raynor, for everything.”

“You’re so welcome. I’ll see you next week.” Dr. Raynor turned and went back towards her office.

Marlena looked at John for a moment, so happy and excited to be going home with him. She put her hand on his cheek and said, “Take me home, my love.”

John leaned into her and gave her a soft kiss. “Right this way, ma’am,” he said as he wrapped his arm around her back and led her to the door.

They walked to his car, and he put her things in the back as she got in. She sighed deeply as she sat down and closed the door. “Finally,” she thought, “I can finally get back to my life.”

John got in and started the car. “We have one stop to make along the way if you’re up to it, Doc.”

“Where is that?”

“Well, Roman and Kate wanted to say hi to you for a moment so I thought maybe we could stop at the Pub for a bit before we go home.”

“That sounds like fun,” Marlena replied.”

“Great,” John said, very glad she didn’t hear the excitement in his voice for what he had planned.

They drove to the Pub and parked. “My gosh, it’s crowded today,” Marlena remarked as the parking lot was nearly full.

“Sure is,” John replied nonchalantly.

As soon as they went through the door, Marlena gasped. In the Pub stood almost everyone she loved: Abe, Paulina, Roman, Kate, Kimberly, Shane, Eric, Nicole, Jude, Brady, Rachel, Johnny, Chanel, Sami, Belle, Will, Allie, Henry, Arianna, and even Claire, all the way from Johannesburg. All of them were holding flowers, or balloons, or stuffed animals, and all had huge smiles on their faces. As soon as they saw her, they called out, “Welcome home!”

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you’re all here!” Marlena exclaimed. She took a few steps forward, then looked back at John, who had a huge grin on his face. He’d pulled it off, and she never even knew this surprise was coming. She shook her head slightly, amazed at what he had done, and mouthed the words, “I love you,” to him. “I love you,” he mouthed back, then she turned back to greet her family.

Marlena was overwhelmed with emotion as she was engulfed by them all. She couldn’t believe that everyone was there for her, and she felt so happy to see all of them. She went around and hugged them all, talked to them all, loved on all of them, and they on her. It was the best surprise she could have gotten, and John knew it. He’d wanted to do something for her to help her know that everyone was behind her and there for her, rooting for her to get better.

They stayed for over three hours talking, laughing, sharing stories, and catching up. Marlena relished her chances to hold and dote on her grandchildren, and even got to talk to Carrie and Paul over the phone as well, with promises to call again soon. When it was finally time to leave, everyone hugged and loved on each other again. Marlena had assumed the out-of-towners would be staying with her and John at the townhouse, but discovered quickly that they were all ensconced elsewhere. Some were at the Salem Inn, some were with siblings or other family members, and Will and Arianna were flying back that afternoon so that Arianna wouldn’t miss much school. That meant that John and Marlena were free to have their house to themselves, something they were both grateful for.

As they got home late that afternoon, Marlena couldn’t stop smiling. “How could you have possibly arranged all that and not told me?” she asked John as they walked into the townhouse.

“I am a master at keeping secrets, Doc, you know that.”

“Perhaps, but not from me,” she said.

“That’s true, but it was a good surprise, wasn’t it? So maybe it’s worth a little bit of deception on my part?”

“Most definitely,” she said softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He hugged her closely and kissed her, gently at first, and then deeper as he remembered how amazing it felt to hold her in his arms. He had missed her so, and she him, and they spent the night rediscovering all the ways they loved to show each other that very thing.

The next morning, they were out on a stroll after breakfast when they came upon several police cars and an ambulance. Marlena was curious about what was happening, but John wanted to turn back and go home. He knew she would want to help if she could, even if she had decided to retire, because that was just who she was. True to form, she went forward through the crown up to a barricade and saw that there was someone standing on the ledge of a tall building. John trailed behind her trying to get her to come with him.

“Doc, we need to leave and let the cops do their work, ok? We’re supposed to be meeting the kids soon.”

“John, we need to see if we can help!”

He caught up to her and held her arm. “Baby, this doesn’t concern us, ok? We need to go.” He knew she didn’t realize it yet, or she might have believed him, but this was the same building she had fallen from so many, many years ago, trying to help someone off the same ledge.

“John, it’s ok, I can help….” She looked up at the building, and John saw the recognition spread over Marlena’s face.

“No, Doc, we are going home, now, please!” He tried to pull her with him, but Marlena was lost in her own thoughts and visions of falling from that same building. John thought she was going to have a reaction, but he watched as she closed her eyes, took a few deep breaths, and opened her eyes again with a look of determination and purpose, not fear.

She looked at him and said, “I can do this, John. I can. You have to trust me.”

He knew that look and knew he could never convince her otherwise. He didn’t even want to try. “Ok, baby. Go to work.”

She went up to the nearest policeman whom she recognized and told him she wanted to help. The officer radioed to someone, and in a moment, Marlena was allowed through and into the building. John tried to follow her, but was held back, even though he knew the officer as well. They would only allow Marlena in because she could help talk the man down, and John could not.

Frustrated, John stood there and waited. A couple of moments later, he saw her in the window closest to the young man on the ledge. “Don’t get on the ledge, Doc, don’t do it,” he said to himself, but he knew in an instant that was just what she was going to do. She talked with the young man for a moment, then she wedged her way through the window and stood next to him on the ledge. She talked to him some more, all the while holding on to the windowsill and reaching out with her other hand. After what seemed like an eternity to John, the young man took her hand as she began to step back into the window. She held his hand, and he followed her in.

John asked again if he could go into the building, and the officer let him by now that the danger had passed. He ran in and went up the stairs two at a time to get to the floor where Marlena was and found her as soon as he opened the stairwell door. “Doc!” He called, and she rushed over to him.

“John, I’m ok, really, I’m ok.” She was winded, but she seemed fine.

He grabbed her up in a tight hug and said, “Please stop doing these things to me, ok? My heart cannot take it again.” He let go and put his hands on her arms. “No more heroics, ok?” he asked.

“Ok,” she said, “no more heroics.”

They left the building, but as they were walking through the crowd, Marlena could have sworn she saw someone she knew. She glanced back and looked more carefully, but they were gone. “Must have been my imagination,” she thought, as a shiver ran down her back.

Chapter Twenty-One

John and Marlena met Belle, Claire, Allie and Sami for lunch at the Pub after all the excitement from the morning. John had texted them briefly to let them know they would be a little late, but he didn’t give the full extent of what was happening so as not to worry them. Unfortunately, however, they had seen on the news what was going on and were fully briefed by the time John and Marlena arrived.

Sami made her feelings known as soon as they came in and sat down. “Well, that was really stupid. How could you let her do that, John?” Sami was incensed that her mother had risked her life again, and, in her eyes, John had done nothing to stop her.

“Sami, it was my decision to do what I did,” Marlena told her.

“And it’s not my job to ‘let’ your mother do anything,” John added.

“I know, but she just got out of the hospital. Mom, why would you do such a reckless thing?” Sami asked.

“Because I knew I could help that young man, and I wanted to. I wanted to face my fears and show myself I could overcome them.”

“I still think it was a stupid thing to do,” Sami retorted.

“Of course you do,” Belle replied.

“You don’t think it was stupid that our mother put her life in danger by climbing out on a building ledge THE DAY AFTER she got released from a MENTAL HOSPITAL?” Claire and Allie looked at each other, both surprised at Sami’s outburst. Belle just shook her head.

“Samantha Gene! Lower your voice, please!” Marlena didn’t want all her private affairs spread all over the Pub.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Sami said, but sighed as she continued, “I just don’t want to see you hurt.”

“Grandma, I have to agree a little bit with Aunt Sami, not with how she said it, but with the thought that it was reckless. And Grandpa, why didn’t you stop her?” Allie was concerned but tried not to be rude.

“Girls, you weren’t there. You didn’t see how she responded to recognizing that building, how she faced her fears and memories of that place, and you didn’t see the look on her face when she asked me to trust her. I’ve seen that look for a long time now, and I knew she would be ok.”

They continued to talk about it over lunch, but the girls seemed satisfied Marlena was ok, even though they wished she would be more careful. After having grown up watching her, though, they knew better. Afterwards, they picked up Henry from Kate and Roman’s apartment and all went to the airport. There were hugs all around, and a few tears, before John and Marlena waved bye to their family.

“It was so good to see them,” Marlena remarked as they were driving home. “Thank you so much for making that happen. It was a perfect homecoming.” She smiled at John as she rubbed her hand on his thigh.

“It was perfect, wasn’t it? I’m so glad they all made it happen. They love you so much, you know.”

“I do know. And I know I love you so much, too.”

“Right back at you, pretty lady.”

As they neared the hospital, Marlena asked if they could stop in so she could pick up a few things. John obliged and waited for her in the car as she went up in the elevator to her office. As she was packing up some mementos, her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and was surprised.

“Hello, Shane. I thought you and Kimberly would be on a plane by now.”

“Good morning, Marlena. We got bumped and are having to take a later flight, but it’s probably for the best so that I could call you. I’ve got some news, but I must ask you to keep this to yourself. Don’t tell anyone I’m telling you this.”

“Alright,” Marlena said hesitantly. “What is it?”

“Orpheus has escaped. It happened some time yesterday or maybe the day before, but we’re not positive.”

I knew it. I knew something would happen. Fear began to stir.

Marlena sat down at her desk. “I thought you had him on constant surveillance. How could he escape if you’re watching him every minute?”

“At some point somehow, he cut the feed for a moment and had someone switch places with him. The person in the cell looked just like him, so it wasn’t detected until this morning. No one knows about this yet, and no one can, not even John.”

“Wait a minute, you’re telling me I can’t tell John? Why?”

“Because John will come looking for him, and right now it’s best that Orpheus thinks we don’t know he’s gone. I’m telling you because of everything that has happened. He may come after you, and I wanted you to take it seriously.”

“You mean you didn’t want me to think I was hallucinating it and tell everyone and give it away, is that it?”

“Well, yes.” Shane didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he wanted her to be prepared. “So, if you do see him, you have to let me know and me only, ok? Don’t say anything to John, just call me as soon as you can, alright?”

“Shane, I can’t keep something like this from my husband, and I don’t know why you would, either. John is the best agent you have when it comes to Orpheus.”

“Yes, he is, but we really feel if we just keep it quiet, Orpheus may just go into hiding, or go to Switzerland to be with his children. If we create a huge manhunt for him, who knows what he will do. Let us handle this, Marlena, ok? I only called you as a courtesy, not for you to get involved really.”

“But I am involved if he comes after me or my family. I don’t think this is a good decision, Shane.”

“Please, Marlena, I need you to agree to this. I wouldn’t have called you if I’d thought you wouldn’t. Tell me now. They just made the last call for my flight.”

“Alright, but if things get dangerous, I’m telling John straight away.”

“That’s fine. I’ll call you again soon.” Shane hung up abruptly as Marlena put her phone down.

Just then, John walked in her office. “I thought this was just grab a couple things and head home,” he said. “You’ve been up here for almost twenty minutes.” He noticed the surprised look on her face. “Doc, are you ok?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Just got caught up looking at some of these mementos is all. I’m sorry for taking so long.” She gathered up her things and John opened the door, not completely convinced she was ok.

They went home and Marlena never said anything to John, but she felt her uneasiness creeping in again. She’d made a promise to Shane for the time being, though, and kept it to herself. If the ISA truly believed it was best to keep it under wraps, she wasn’t going to contradict them at the moment.

They spent the evening watching old movies and having popcorn in the living room, and Marlena was again glad to be home and well. Her concern about Orpheus had died down a great deal after being distracted by the movies and time with John. But when John was in the shower getting ready for bed, her phone rang again. This time, she didn’t recognize the number.

“Hello,” she said.

“Hello Marlena. Have you missed me?”

Oh God!

“What do you want, Orpheus?” Marlena was feeling strong and unafraid, especially since John was in the other room.

“Look out your window.”

She got up and looked out the terrace window, and there, on the street below, she could see Orpheus talking on the phone with her.

He’s here. You have to tell John!

She spoke slower this time so she could control how she sounded and not convey the fear she was beginning to feel. “I’ll ask you again. What do you want?”

“Just wanted to pay a visit to my favorite girl,” he said. She could see the smirk on his face even from the townhouse window.

“Leave me alone. You know my husband is in the other room.”

“And I know the ISA doesn’t want you to tell him anything.”

“That’s a lie,” she said, trying to make him believe her.

“Oh, but it’s not. You’re not supposed to tell him anything about me, so I’d suggest you do just that.”

“Why should I?” Marlena was ready at that moment to go get John, but she hesitated. She still heard Shane’s words in her head.

“So that Agent Donovan and all his little men stay safe, so that your husband stays safe, and so you do as well.”

“Leave us alone, or you will sincerely regret it.” Marlena wasn’t backing down.

“We’ll see. Have a good evening, Marlena.” And with that he hung up and began walking up the street away from the townhouse.

Marlena took a moment to collect herself and calm her nerves so that John wouldn’t see her upset. She sat back down on the couch and did some of her meditation exercises and began to feel much calmer. John came back to the living room after his shower and asked if she was ready for bed.

“I definitely am,” she said.

John sensed something wasn’t right. “Doc, are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yes, my love, I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”

“That it has. How about a nice long massage before we go to sleep?”

“I’d love that.”

They went to their room and John did give her a wonderfully long massage, but she still found it hard to fall asleep. Once she did, she slept well, wrapped up in John’s arms. But something that had been dormant in her began to wake again, and this time, it was not going to go away.

Chapter Twenty-Two

John and Marlena were driving to Bayview for her weekly therapy session with Dr. Raynor. They were both quiet because they’d had a huge row earlier that morning. Marlena was staring out the side window, and John was staring straight ahead. Finally, John broke the silence.

“Doc, this is a bad idea, and you know it. How can you say you’re going to retire, then instantly pick up a new patient?”

“Because it’s what I need to do, it’s what I said I would do, and I owe it to them to help.”

“You don’t owe anyone a damn thing.” John didn’t yell at her, but he did say it louder than he meant to.

“John!” She turned her head sharply and looked at him. She wasn’t used to being addressed that way.

“I’m sorry, but you don’t,” he said, much more under control. “You’ve given everything you have of yourself to everyone else for fifty years, Doc, and you said you were going to hang up your shingle and come home to me permanently, remember?”

“Yes,” Marlena said quietly.

“Well, what happened to that? What about what you owe me by saying that?”

“Are you really turning this into something about you?”

“No,” he sighed, “at least I’m not trying to. Doc, I just want you to be healthy, that’s all. You came up with the idea of retirement, and the more I thought about it, the more I thought it would be a great answer to everything. And now, two weeks after you get home, you’re going right back to work. Have you gotten that tired of me already?”

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Try to manipulate me into feeling sorry for you. I already told you this morning that I would never be tired of you, and I think I also showed you that pretty well last night. So, if you want to talk about this like an adult, I’m listening. But I’m not going to be drawn into these childish games any further.” She turned her head back to look out the window.

John sighed again, knowing that he could not argue with her once she had her mind made up. It was something he adored about her, and something that drove him mad at the same time. As they pulled into a parking spot at Bayview, John turned off the car and looked at her. She was looking at her hands in her lap, waiting for what she knew he would inevitably say, and she was not disappointed. “I’m sorry, baby. I love you, and I just want to do everything possible to protect you. This is not about me, and I know that. But it is about you, and your mental health, and I just want you to be careful. And sweetheart, please forgive my tone earlier as well.”

She looked at him, and wondered how it was possible her love for him could continue to grow after all these years together. She smiled and put her hand on his. “My darling, you are truly the most wonderful, most extraordinary man I’ve ever known, and I am blessed to be your wife. I know you want to protect me. But you also know that I have to do what I feel I have to do. I promise I will be careful, and I promise I will tell you if I feel things are going in a bad direction.” She twinged inside at the last part because she hadn’t told John anything about Orpheus. Thankfully, he seemed to be lying low and hadn’t contacted her, but neither had Shane. She’d hoped he would call and say that Orpheus was back behind bars, but no such luck.

“Are we ok?” she asked.

“We are better than ok. We’re perfect.”

Marlena smiled, remembering something about a plane ride many years ago. “We are indeed. I will be done in an hour, and you can pick me up then.”

“I think I’ll just hang out here if that’s ok. Maybe read a book. Do a crossword. Something…”

Marlena smiled again knowing that he would be close by and kissed him lovingly before getting out of the car. She walked into the lobby of Bayview and asked the receptionist if her appointment was ready. She said he was, and Marlena headed to Dr. Raynor’s office. She was using it as a temporary space to meet with her special patient.

She arrived just in time to see David Fryar leaving the office. He smiled a huge smile of appreciation and said, “Dr. Evans, I really can’t thank you enough for this. I know you’ll be just what Kevin needs.”

“Thanks, David. It’s no problem at all.”

Dr. Raynor also came out of the office and asked Marlena if she could speak to her privately for a moment. David got the hint and excused himself to the family lounge. Dr. Raynor closed her door so that Kevin couldn’t hear them talking. “Dr. Evans, are you sure this is what you want to do?” She was more than a bit concerned for Marlena’s well-being, especially since seeing Kevin was the catalyst for much of what had happened over the past few months.

“Yes, I am sure. I said I wanted to help Kevin from the start, and I feel that if I can navigate this successfully, it will be like the final victory over my fears and triggers, if that makes sense.”

“It does,” Dr. Raynor replied, “but I cannot overexaggerate the importance of telling me if you are beginning to feel overwhelmed, alright?”

“I know, and I will. Thank you again for letting me use your office.”

Dr. Raynor took the hint this time. “You’re very welcome. I’ll see you in an hour.”

Marlena walked in and closed the door behind her. Seated on the couch was Kevin Fryar, looking much better than the last time she had seen him. Much of his skin was healing very well and she was impressed with the quality of the skin grafting. She looked at his face and again saw Evan Frears, but it didn’t have nearly the same effect. Relieved and proud of that fact, she sat down across from him so that she could begin.

They talked about some superficial things—his recovery, his dad hovering over his every move, how he wants to get back to work, and Marlena could tell he was avoiding the real issue he was having. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she had a guess.

“So, Kevin, why don’t you tell me what is keeping you up at night?” She recognized the dark circles under his eyes, especially after having so many fitful nights of sleep herself.

He looked at the floor and would not respond. “You know,” she said, “I realized pretty recently that I don’t have to keep everything to myself and just….push through it. It is ok to talk about things and process them out of your system. It could cause a lot of harm later on if you don’t.”

“It’s just stupid,” he said quietly.

“Well, I’ve found that it’s usually never stupid if it’s hurting you.”

He looked up at her, and she smiled gently at him, showing him that she understood. “I just…I don’t understand…how she could do that to me. How could she just stand there and….” He paused as tears began to form.

“And what?”

“And watch me burning up in that car. How could anyone be that sadistic?” Tears were streaming down his cheeks now.

“I’ve often wondered the same thing myself,” she replied softly.

“I just can’t stop thinking about it, and I keep going over and over it in my mind.”

“I completely understand.”

“How can you say that?” he asked. He was becoming agitated now. “You, and my dad, and all the other doctors all say ‘oh, I understand Kevin,’ or ‘that’s so terrible Kevin,’ but they don’t know. None of you do.”

“Well, actually….” And so, Marlena began telling him the story of how she was almost burned alive by Orpheus as he stood by and watched.

When she finished, Kevin was convinced that Marlena did understand his situation a bit better, and he agreed to continue his sessions with her. After a bit longer, their session was over, and she thanked him for believing she could help him. He said he was grateful for her help, and they made plans to meet the next week.

As she was walking out to the parking lot, she couldn’t help but think about the scenes she’d described to Kevin, and how frightening it was for her. She was lost in thought when she looked up and saw him. In a car, about fifty feet from where John was parked and waiting for her, was Orpheus. He was wearing dark sunglasses and sitting down a bit in the front seat, but she knew it was him. She didn’t know what he was doing, but knew it wasn’t good. At that moment, he turned his head and saw her. He smiled smugly at her, glanced at John, and then back at her, letting her know he knew exactly where John was. She became angry, and shook her head at him slowly, telling him she wouldn’t allow John to be hurt. Orpheus smiled widely at her and nodded a little, indicating his approval and respect at her defiance. He shrugged his shoulders as if to say, “Ok, not this time,” started his car, and drove away.

Marlena noticed that John was pulling the car around to where she was standing and tried hard to relax her face so he would not notice anything, but as she got in the car, he asked her, “What were you looking at, Doc? You seemed a million miles away.”

“Oh, it was nothing, sweetheart, I just thought I saw someone I knew but I couldn’t get a good look at them.”

They drove home and Marlena did her best to keep John mollified so he wouldn’t ask too many questions. She didn’t like being dishonest with him and found it more difficult every time she had to. After they arrived, John changed clothes and said he was heading downstairs to the gym for a little bit. He asked Marlena to join him, and she agreed to come down in a few minutes. After he left, she was just reaching for her phone when it rang. She answered immediately and said, “Shane, thank God. He was here again. He was in the parking lot at Bayview watching John while I was in with a patient. What are you all going to do about this?” She was more nervous about it than she wanted to admit.

“Marlena, I promise we are doing all that we can. Did you say he was in Salem again today?”

“Yes, maybe fifty feet away from John just a little bit ago. Shane, I really think we need to tell him about this. I can’t keep lying to him or he’s going to figure it out.”

“You cannot do that, Marlena, I’ve told you. Our biggest advantage right now is that Orpheus thinks we don’t know he is gone. There are people here who are loyal to him, and the only people that know he is gone are me, you, and two agents above me who are above reproach. Now just stay strong and I’ll call you soon.” He again hung up abruptly on her, and she was becoming more and more frustrated. She also knew she had kept John waiting, and that wouldn’t help, so she changed quickly and hurried downstairs to the gym.

Later that evening, John was in the kitchen doing the dishes while Marlena was reading in the living room. Her phone rang, but she didn’t recognize the number again.

Please no.

“Hello,” she said.

“It was nice seeing you today, although I wish you’d waited just a bit longer before coming outside.”

“Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just leave us alone?” She was angry but spoke quietly so John wouldn’t hear.

Orpheus laughed a bit and said, “Because you’re my favorite people, haven’t you figured that out by now?”

“You don’t scare me, Orpheus.”

Yes, he does.

“Oh, I’m not sure that’s exactly true, Marlena. I saw the look on your face when you thought I might hurt your precious John.”

“You will never hurt him, or me, ever again.”

“We’ll see about that,” and the line went quiet.

Marlena had had enough of Orpheus’ games, and she knew in her heart that John would protect her and handle the situation correctly, no matter what Shane had said. She decided to tell him everything and called for him to come into the living room.

“What is it, Doc?” He could see by the look on her face that she was distressed about something. He sat beside her and held her hand.

“I need to tell you something.”

“Ok, baby, I’m listening.”

“A couple weeks ago, I got a call from Shane. He told me something and told me not to tell you because he didn’t want you going out on your own and he was afraid, given what had been going on with me, that I wouldn’t realize what was happening.”

John was confused. “Why would he tell you to keep anything from me? What are you talking about baby?”

“He said that Orpheus had escaped and had put a lookalike in his cell to confuse the agents there. He wanted me to know so that if I saw him, I would know it was real and not a hallucination. And he said he didn’t want you to know because their biggest advantage was that no one at the agency had realized it yet, but if you knew you would go vigilante on him or something and blow the case.”

John was instantly angry. “Do you mean to tell me that Shane decided it was best to tell my wife something dangerous and risk her life, but not get me involved?” His voice was raised now, and Marlena tried to calm him.

“I believe he was just trying to do what was best for the case, John, and for me. He didn’t want me to think I was relapsing.”

“That’s not his decision to make.” John got up and grabbed his phone off the table.

“What are you doing?” Marlena asked.

“I’m calling him right now and giving him a piece of my mind.” John was almost at his boiling point.

“Please don’t, I wasn’t supposed to say anything…I don’t want to risk their investigation…”

“You leave this to me,” John answered her.

Shane picked up the phone and said brightly, “Hello, John. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Don’t give me that nicety, Shane. You need to explain why you’re keeping me in the dark about Orpheus and choosing to include my wife in something this dangerous without telling me.”

“What are you talking about?” Shane sounded completely dumbfounded.

“Orpheus escapes and leaves a lookalike in his cell, and you think Marlena is the one who needs to know that? What the hell were you thinking?”

“John, I don’t know where any of this is coming from, but I haven’t spoken to Marlena since she came home.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

“What do you mean you haven’t spoken to her? She told me you called her a couple weeks ago and then again just today.” John is confused and becoming concerned.

“I mean I haven’t spoken to her since we were there for her homecoming. Kimberly and I left the next day and that was the last time I’ve spoken to her.”

John looked at Marlena and said, “Hang on Shane, I’m going to put you on speaker so Marlena can hear you as well. Will you repeat what you just said?” John put the call on the speakerphone and held it up so she could hear everything.

“I said that I haven’t spoken to Marlena since her homecoming. I haven’t called her, and she hasn’t called me.”

“But that’s impossible, Shane,” Marlena replied. “I spoke to you when you were in the airport waiting for your flight. You said it had gotten bumped and you were on a later flight. And I also spoke with you earlier today.” She was becoming concerned that he wasn’t admitting to what had happened.

“I promise, I haven’t spoken to you. I don’t know you’ve been speaking to, but it was not me.”

“It came up as your caller ID, it had to be you. I know your voice, Shane, and I’m not making this up.”

“Let me check with the agents in Malta to make sure everything is on the up and up with Orpheus and I’ll call you back. I don’t want to take any chances with him or with you. I’ll call you as soon as I know something.”

“Thank you, Shane. Talk to you soon,” John said as he hung up.

Marlena was visibly shaken, and John wrapped his arms around her. “It’s ok, Doc, we will figure this out and make everything alright. I don’t know what is happening, but you’re here with me and you’re safe. We’ll get to the bottom of this.”

No, we won’t. He will find me, and he will hurt me, I know it. Fear was beginning to get stronger again, and Marlena felt it.

“You don’t think I…I imagined this…..do you John?”

He pulled back from her and put his hands on her arms. “I don’t know what is going on, Doc, but I promise you, whatever it is, whatever you need, I’m here for you and we will get some answers, ok? Do you trust me on that?”

“Of course, I trust you with my life,” she said, her voice quavering just a bit.

“I know you’re afraid, baby, and rightfully so after what you’ve been through these past few months. But as long as we keep talking and communicating, it’ll be ok. I promise.”

I hope so.

Marlena believed John meant everything he said, but she could feel herself becoming more uneasy. Just then, John’s phone rang, and it was Shane. He answered and put it on speakerphone again.

“Shane, what’s happening man?”

“I just spoke with the agents in Malta. They have had an agent outside of Orpheus’ cell twenty-four hours a day for the past month at least. He has not escaped, and there is no danger of him doing so.”

“But what about the fact that he has people on the inside of the ISA? He’s had help before, Shane.” Marlena is trying to make something make sense.

“He has, but these agents have been specially trained, and background checked extensively. They are completely trustworthy, Marlena, I promise.”

John and Marlena looked at each other and realized that she needed to talk to Dr. Raynor as soon as possible. “Thanks, Shane. I appreciate all the help.”

“No problem, mate. Please keep me informed.”

“Will do,” John said as he hung up the phone.

Marlena began to cry softly, and John immediately wrapped her up in his arms again. “It’s ok, Doc. It’s ok. We will figure this out together. I’ll call Dr. Raynor and make an appointment for tomorrow and then we will hit the hay, ok?”

“Alright,” she said. She wiped her tears and waited as John made her appointment for the next morning. They went arm in arm to their bedroom, and Marlena snuggled into John’s shoulder. His scent was always something she adored, and tonight it lulled her to sleep.

A few hours later, she was jolted awake by her phone ringing. She looked at the clock and wondered who could be calling at three in the morning. The caller ID said it was Shane.

Why is this happening to me?

She was skeptical, but she got up and went into the living room with her phone so as not to wake John. She answered with a hesitant “Hello?”

“Marlena, I told you not to tell John about any of this! Why did you say anything?” Shane was yelling into the phone.

She was taken aback at his tone, given that she couldn’t remember if he’d ever yelled at her before. “Who is this and why are you doing this to me? Why are you trying to scare me like this?”

“This is Shane, Marlena. I had to lie to John tonight to cover for what you told him about Orpheus. You cannot tell him about this because we are very close to apprehending him. And if he knows we are on to him, he will go into hiding and we’ll never find him.”

“I don’t believe you,” she said. “None of this makes any sense, and don’t believe it.”

“You’d better believe it, or it could prove very bad for all of us. One of the guards in Malta is getting suspicious of me calling and checking up on Orpheus so much and may have to be eliminated if he says anything to anyone about it. So, I’d be careful if I were you, about what you say to John or anyone else. You cannot arouse suspicion, or it will tip him off that we’re on to him. Now, are we clear?”

Marlena was shaking at this point, and barely able to hold the phone. She was terrified that she was hallucinating, and also terrified that she wasn’t. She didn’t know what to do exactly, but she didn’t want to risk someone’s life. She also didn’t want to risk the ISA losing its chance to get Orpheus back, so she decided to believe Shane and keep it to herself.

“Yes, we’re clear,” she said hesitantly.

“Good,” Shane said. “Let’s keep it that way,” and he hung up.

Marlena put her phone down and tried desperately to control her breathing, but it was hard.

I’m so scared. What if I’m going insane? What if all of this is a hallucination and I’m losing my mind?

“You’re not going crazy, Marlena,” she said to herself. “Just….breathe.”

After a moment, she began to calm down. She tried to decide what to do next when John walked in the living room. “Doc, what are you doing in here? I woke up and you were gone. I was worried something had happened.”

She looked at him for a moment, contemplating what to say. “I’m fine, I just woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I thought I would maybe find a snack or read or something.”

“Are you sure that’s all it is?”

“I’m sure. But now that I’m out here, I’m suddenly pretty sleepy. Can we go back to bed?”

“Of course, sweetheart.” They walked back to their room, but John was not convinced that she was being completely truthful. He didn’t want to confront her about it so late at night but made a mental note to talk about it in the morning.

On the drive to Bayview the next morning, Marlena was subdued. She didn’t know how much to tell John, even though she wanted to tell him everything. Her mental state was shaky at the moment, and she just wanted this nightmare to be over. She wasn’t even sure what to tell Dr. Raynor, but she didn’t have time to think about it as John pulled around the drive at Bayview to let her out.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come to your appointment with you, Doc?”

“No,” she said. “I’ll be ok. But you could wait in the lobby for me if you wanted to.” She didn’t want him waiting out in the car again by himself in case Orpheus decided to make another appearance. John said ok and parked the car. She waited on the sidewalk for him and reached out her hand as he got to her. He took it and they walked to Dr. Raynor’s office together.

“Good morning, you two.” Dr. Raynor said when she opened her office door. “I wasn’t expecting the both of you.”

“I’ll be in the lobby sweetheart, when you’re done.” John kissed Marlena on the cheek. “See you later, Dr. Raynor.”

“Bye John,” she replied, then looked at Marlena. “Are you ready?”

Marlena sighed and said, “I suppose so.”

As much as she didn’t want to drag Dr. Raynor into the middle of danger, Marlena knew she had to tell her what had happened, or at least as much as she could. She talked about the call from Shane, and then seeing and talking to Orpheus. She wasn’t sure it was real, because it only happened when she was by herself, but also wasn’t sure it wasn’t real, given what Shane had said on the phone, his contradictory statements aside. She was frightened, and scared, and wasn’t sure where to turn next. Dr. Raynor was at a loss as well because it was so confusing. She asked Marlena about her feelings when she’d seen Orpheus these times, to see if it was the same thing as before and if she was manifesting him when she was afraid. She said it wasn’t the same, and she wasn’t afraid when she saw him, which gave credence to Shane being right. But then again, had she hallucinated talking to Shane in the first place? Marlena was so wound up in her thoughts and feelings that she began to think something was really wrong. Dr. Raynor couldn’t say either, given that the evidence was strong on both sides.

Finally, as they were finishing, she said, “My advice is to stay close to John, since you know he can protect you, just in case this is real. Do your meditation techniques, take your meds, and do everything you can to stay healthy. We’ll get through this, whatever it is, ok?”

Marlena felt reassured. “Ok. I’ll do that. Thank you, Dr. Raynor, especially for seeing me on such short notice.”

“Any time.”

Marlena left and was looking for her phone in her purse while walking back to the lobby. All at once, someone grabbed her shoulders from behind and pushed her into a small supply closet. They closed the door and stood in front of it so that she couldn’t escape. The room was dark, but Marlena could see who it was. She started to scream, but Orpheus put his hand over her mouth and pushed her back against the wall. He held up a gun in his other hand and placed it sideways against her cheek. “Now that’s enough. You need to stop struggling and listen to what I have to say, ok?”

Marlena stopped fighting him and nodded. Orpheus removed his hand from her mouth, but stayed close to her and kept the gun to her cheek. “You’ve not been a very good girl, you know, telling everyone I’ve escaped and such. Shane told you to keep your mouth shut, but you just couldn’t do that, could you? And now, I bet you’ve even told your little psychiatrist friend as well, haven’t you?”

Marlena’s eyes grew wide as she heard the veiled threat in his question. She shook her head quickly, trying to make him believe her, but he looked at her knowingly and said, “You know you can’t lie to me, Marlena. You’re so bad at it.”

She finally found her voice and asked, “Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?”

“Like I said and like Shane told you, I want you to keep your mouth shut.”

“How do you know what Shane told me?”

“If you haven’t learned by now that I have people everywhere, then you haven’t been paying attention. Now, don’t say another word to anyone, or people will begin to get hurt. Understand?”

She nodded, and he backed away from her. “Ok, then, have a nice day,” he said smugly as he moved away from the door. She slipped out and continued to walk to the lobby, trying desperately to look as normal as possible. She could swear what just happened was real, but when she was hallucinating before, it felt just as real. She could feel his hand on her face and the gun against her cheek, but she’d felt his hands on her the times before. A million thoughts were pulsating against each other in her head when she heard John say, “Doc, honey, what’s going on?”

She snapped back into the present as she realized she was in the lobby and John was talking to her. She tried to smile and said, “Oh, there you are. I’m sorry, I….it uhm….”

She couldn’t collect her thoughts and John asked again, “Doc, what’s the matter?” He was genuinely concerned at why she was so unsettled.

“It was just a….a very challenging therapy session, you know? I just…I’m just a bit rattled is all…there’s….there’s nothing wrong. Are you….are you ready to go home?” She tried to get off the topic of what was happening to her and just get away from everything that had just occurred.

“Yeah,” John said. He was still worried but was trying to give her the space and support she needed. “Let’s go home.”

As they walked to the car, Marlena stopped and held John’s hand for a moment. “John, thank you for always being what I need. I know these months have been hard for the both of us, and I want you to know I’m trying my best to get better.”

“I know that Doc. And you never have to thank me for loving you. I’m always going to do that, no matter what.”

“Promise?” she asked softly.

“Promise. We’ll get through this, baby, as long as we do it together.”

They walked to the car, but just as Marlena was about to get in, she glanced at a car several feet away driving out of the parking lot. For a split second she saw the driver with his dark hair and dark sunglasses. She thought it was someone she knew, but prayed it was just her imagination.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Marlena was subdued at dinner that night. She and John had decided to eat at home since she’d had a troublesome day. She hadn’t said more than ten words during their meal and John was genuinely worried about her. Even though she didn’t seem as frightened as she had been before, he still wasn’t sure what was happening to her. Shane wouldn’t lie to him or keep him in the dark about something like this, of that, he was positive. However, Marlena was adamant that it was Shane who had called her and asked her to keep Orpheus’ escape a secret. John didn’t want to believe her hallucinations were back, but that was the only thing that would explain the discrepancy in their stories.

After they finished their meal, John cleared the table and took the trash downstairs to be picked up the next morning. As soon as he left, Marlena’s phone rang, and she picked up immediately.

“Shane, you’ve got to do something! Orpheus attacked me today at Bayview! He was there! You’ve got to send some agents here to take him into custody, please!” Marlena was trying to stay calm, but her emotions were bubbling over too much.

I can’t take much more of this. Her Fear was beginning to take hold again.

“Slow down, slow down! You said he was there at Bayview today?”

“Yes, right after my therapy session. He is here in town, and you’ve got to arrest him. He threatened me with a gun, and then I had to act like everything was normal in front of John. I cannot keep this from him anymore, Shane, I just can’t!”

I have to tell him, or something is going to happen to me!

“You must keep your wits about you, Marlena, or we won’t be able to do anything. I’ll try to have some agents there tomorrow, if possible, but it might be longer. Things are busy here and….”

“You’d better have someone here tomorrow or I swear I’m telling John everything!”

“Tell me everything about what?” She turned quickly and saw John standing at the door.

The sight of him there, and her frustrations and fears about keeping secrets, finally overtook her. She couldn’t hide her feelings any longer and they finally exploded in a burst of nonstop words. “It’s Orpheus, John! He was here today, after my session at Bayview. He grabbed me and shoved me in a closet and threatened me with a gun. He’s escaped and Shane keeps telling me not to tell you, but I can’t keep this a secret any longer! Please you’ve got to help me!” She began to crumble at that point as John ran over and helped her to the couch. She still had her phone in her hand, and John could see it was Shane on the other side.

He took the phone from her and said, “Shane, what the hell is going on here?”

“I have no idea, mate,” Shane replied. “I just called to see if she was feeling ok and she went on this rant about Orpheus and how I wasn’t doing anything to help her catch him. I’m getting really concerned, John.”

John looked at her tear-stained face, and said, “Ok, Shane, I’ll talk to you later,” and hung up.

“What did he say?” Marlena asked desperately.

John paused a moment, then took both her hands in his. “Sweetheart,” he said gently, “I think we need to talk.”

“What did he say??” she asked frantically.

As softly as he could, he said, “Shane said that he’d called you to ask how you were, but that you started asking him for help to catch Orpheus.”

He doesn’t believe me. No one does. No one is going to help me.

Incredulously, Marlena replied, “John, that’s not true. That is not what I said at all. He has been trying to get me to stay quiet about Orpheus escaping so that they can keep the upper hand, but it isn’t working because I’ve seen him or talked to him four times now and nobody will do anything about it….” Her voice trailed off as she began to sob again.

“Baby, I know this seems so real to you, and it is clearly frightening you. I’m so sorry…”

“You don’t believe me,” she said, almost hopelessly.

“Doc, I believe you are frightened; I believe you believe this is happening, and I believe you are feeling everything you are feeling. I want to help you, and I will help you get whatever you need to work through this, I promise.”

“John, I know this was real,” she said, much stronger this time. “This happened, it was not a hallucination, and it was Orpheus. He has escaped somehow, and he is after me and us. You must do something.” She was pleading with him at this point.

“Doc, Shane has told us repeatedly that Orpheus is locked up in a maximum-security prison. He has been since before you…since before this started happening.”

“You mean since before I started losing my mind,” she said as she got up from the couch and turned her back to him. She crossed her arms and looked at the floor, shocked and hurt that John didn’t believe her.

“That is not what I said at all. I’m just trying to reassure you that you are safe, and this isn’t actually happening to you.”

She turned back around and glared at him. “Ok, but what if it actually is? What if Orpheus has escaped, and is actually threatening to kill me? And kill us, and our FAMILY?” Marlena was becoming angry now, hoping to convince John to do something.

“Doc, for that to be true, he would have had to overcome two or three highly trained armed guards at once, leave a maximum-security building, and have the means to leave the country, all while under twenty-four-hour camera surveillance.” John was trying in vain to help her see reason. “Plus, Shane has told us repeatedly that he is still there.”

“And Shane just lied to your face about that phone call, too. I don’t know what is going on here, but this is real, and I need you to believe me.” She stepped closer to him and put her hands on his chest. She was almost crying again as she said, “God, John, if you don’t believe me, I don’t know….”

He put his hands over hers and held them on his chest. “I do believe you, Doc. I do. We will find out what is happening here, and we will keep you safe from whatever Orpheus is trying to do. I swear it.”

Marlena smiled a little through her tears. “Thank you,” she said softly, and wrapped her arms around him as he did the same to her.

“We’ll figure it out, Doc, I swear.”

I hope so, but I don’t think we will.

The next morning, John was on the phone with Shane and other agents from the ISA for over two hours talking about what Marlena had said about Orpheus. They reviewed surveillance footage going back to the time he’d arrived at the facility, guards were questioned and re-questioned, and they even drew blood to do a DNA test just to make sure that the person in the cell was indeed Orpheus. It was ultimately those results that were Marlena’s undoing. When John told her the tests showed conclusively that it was Orpheus in the cell, Marlena almost became hysterical. She was convinced someone had switched the results somehow, and she begged John to take her there to see him herself. He of course refused, and she became even more upset. John finally called Dr. Raynor to see if she could make a house call, and, after hearing Marlena in the background of the call, she did just that.

John answered the door after the first knock. “Thank you so much for coming, Dr. Raynor. I’m so grateful you’re here.”

“Where is Marlena?” Dr. Raynor was very anxious to help.

“She’s in our room, still crying. She’s been like this for over an hour now and I just don’t know what to do to help her. I’ve never seen her like this, not ever. Only when she was possessed was she this….I don’t know….out of control?”

“Ok, John, I’ll go see if there’s anything I can do. I definitely feel she may need to come back to Bayview for a while, and I may need to sedate her if she won’t come….on her own.”

The last thing John wanted was to have his wife involuntarily committed, especially with her history of that at Bayview. He was afraid it might push her over the edge once and for all, especially given her current mental state.

“I understand,” he said. “She’s back here.” He led Dr. Raynor to their room and knocked on the door.

“Leave me alone, John! I can’t talk anymore…” Marlena sounded like a wounded animal.

“Marlena, it’s me, it’s Elizabeth. Can I come in, please?” Dr. Raynor tried to sound as compassionate as possible.

After a couple of minutes, she heard the doorknob turn, and the door opened slightly. She took that as her cue to go in. She looked at John as she closed the door, and nodded, trying to let him know it would be ok. Marlena was lying diagonally across the bed, but Dr. Raynor could see her eyes were quite swollen and red. She was just staring off into space, as if all the life had been drained out of her. Dr. Raynor went over and sat on the end of the bed and waited for Marlena to speak. After a moment, she did.

“I know why you’re here,” she said blandly.

“And why is that?” Dr. Raynor responded.

“You’re here to take me back to Bayview.”

“Why would I do that?”

Marlena sat up on her elbow and looked at Dr. Raynor expressionlessly. “Because that’s what I would do if I were you, given all the evidence, and the…..testimony…..that my husband has no doubt given you.”

“Marlena, you’re not on trial here,”

“Aren’t I?” she asked. Then a little louder, “Aren’t I? Isn’t my sanity on trial here? Am I not fighting for my mental life right now?”

“I don’t know that I would say that….”

Marlena cut her off. “Oh, but I would.” She got up off the bed and stood in front of Dr. Raynor. She was no longer crying, but her face was still wet and glistening a little in the light. The pain was evident on her face and in her voice. “I….definitely would, Dr. Raynor. I have been fighting for my mental state for months now. I’ve fought off nightmares, and terrors from 40 years ago, that I didn’t even realize still haunted me. And I did it, Dr. Raynor. I……won. I beat it……and I left Bayview whole….and healed.”

She slowly got closer and closer to Dr. Raynor. “And now, all of you are telling me I’m still hallucinating all of this. Shane is telling me one thing and telling my husband another. John is telling me that Orpheus didn’t attack me at Bayview yesterday, because he’s still locked up in prison. And you’re going to tell me that I’m going back to Bayview with you.”

Marlena was right in front of her now and leaned down to get closer to her face for emphasis. “Well, I can tell you one thing for sure, and that is that I’m not going back there tonight, or any night for that matter. I’m right about this, and no matter what I have to do to prove it, I will. So, if you really want to help me, you can go out there and tell John, and Shane, and the whole damn world for that matter, that I am not crazy, I’m not hallucinating and I’M NOT GOING TO BAYVIEW!”

Marlena stood there, inches from Dr. Raynor’s face, and did not flinch for several seconds. Dr. Raynor finally said, “Ok Dr. Evans. You’re not going to Bayview. Not tonight.”

Marlena stood upright and said, “Good. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m getting a shower.” She turned curtly and went into the bathroom and shut the door.

Dr. Raynor got up and went back to the living room. John got up immediately when he saw her. “I heard her from down here.”

“I don’t know what to think, John. I know it seems impossible that she’s not hallucinating all this, but she seems so lucid and so strong. I don’t want to take her to Bayview just yet. Maybe there is something more that will turn up in a few days that will explain all this.”

“I hope you’re right,” John said. The thought that Marlena was suffering like this was tearing him apart inside, especially when he could do nothing to help her.

Dr. Raynor went to the door and John opened it for her. “Thank you again for coming over. It means a lot that you are trying so hard to help her.”

“Any time, John. I will do everything I can to help her get well.” He closed the door behind her and sat down on the couch to try and figure out what to do next.

In the shower, Marlena was doing the same thing. She was talking to herself as she stood in the hot water trying to relax. “The only way to prove this is happening to me is to prove to everyone I’m ok and find him myself,” she said. “I just have to do this on my own.”

But what if you can’t? And what if you’re wrong? What if all this isn’t real? What if you’re really becoming unbalanced?

Marlena’s fear was becoming stronger, no matter how hard she tried to fight it. But so was her resolve to figure this out. The question was, which one would win?

Chapter Twenty-Five

“I’m so glad you’re feeling better, Marlena.” Dr. Raynor was pleased that the Marlena she saw at her house three weeks ago was not the one leaving her office now.

“Thank you, Dr. Raynor. I’m glad as well.”

“Next week, then?”

“Yes, next week.” Marlena left the office and closed the door behind her. She walked a few feet down the hallway, then looked around to make sure no one else was there. She leaned against the wall and took a deep breath to try and steady herself. It was exhausting talking to Dr. Raynor without letting her guard down about what had been going on with her, but she knew she had to in order to prove she was not hallucinating, and that Orpheus was planning to terrorize everyone she loved. Fortunately for now, it seemed as if he’d only decided to try and drive her mad. He’d called her repeatedly and reminded her that he was nearby, and she had seen him more than once standing on the corner outside of the townhouse. She’d even gone by her office to pick up the last of her things and found a picture of Claire and Belle in a park in Johannesburg lying on her desk. Everyone else would just assume it was a picture of her family, but Marlena knew who had taken it and why it was there. She was constantly on edge, looking over her shoulder every time she was by herself, and the toll it was taking on her was palpable.

John knew she seemed better, and she was making everyone else believe she was ok, but he could sense things still weren’t right. He would ask her often how she was, how she felt, if anything was wrong, but she never wavered in her answers that she was “just fine.”

That was probably what was the hardest on her, lying to John. It went so against her nature to be deceitful with him, and she often cried in the shower about it, but she knew she had to in order to prove to everyone she was right. She’d also completely stopped answering when Shane called because he’d continued to tell her not to say anything, and she felt that was hopeless. Plus, she was doubting she could even trust him because he’d lied to John right in front of her. She felt completely alone in all of it, and it was taking a huge toll.

One afternoon, John had left his computer open when he’d gone to the store. Marlena jumped at the chance to get into the ISA computers and see what she could find there. She hoped this would be the thing that would lead her to some kind of proof that he had indeed escaped, but if it was there, someone had hidden it completely. Even the DNA results were irrefutable. As she sat back in her chair, still staring at the computer screen, her Fear began to eat away at her, and she began to wonder if she were wrong.

What if it’s all a hallucination? I can’t be wrong, can I? Oh God, what if this is all just in my head? What if I’ve convinced myself it’s real, and it isn’t?

She was as confused as ever, and felt she needed some fresh air, so she left John a note that she was walking in the park. She put on a jacket, grabbed her keys, and went out the door. What she didn’t realize was that her phone was still on the charger on her nightstand.

As she headed to the park, she tried to make sense of her thoughts and regain her focus, but it was difficult. She was so lost in thought that she hadn’t realized she’d walked past the entrance to the park and was walking on a small side street. She finally looked up and noticed where she was and admonished herself silently for not paying attention. She turned around and immediately walked right into Orpheus, literally bumping into him. He grabbed her arms, and, before she could even scream, someone else had put a black bag over her head and hit her from behind, knocking her unconscious.

She awoke in a very dirty, dilapidated place that could have been a warehouse at one time. Her hands were tied behind her, and she was also tied to the chair she was sitting in. A handkerchief was tied around her mouth, effectively gagging her from being able to speak or scream. She was dizzy, and her vision was blurry, but she could make out that Orpheus was standing in front of her. Something wasn’t right about how he looked, though. It was almost as if she were dreaming, but she knew she was conscious.

“Where am I?” She tried to enunciate the words, but the gag kept her from being able to.

Orpheus leaned over and pulled it from her mouth. “There now, is that better?”

“Where am I?” she said again, but for some reason her speech was slurred.

“You’re somewhere where no one can find you, Doc. Not even your wonderful husband.”

“What have you done to me?” She still barely sounded coherent.

“Oh, nothing much, it’s just a little mind-altering drug I like to give to people who don’t cooperate with me. And you, Dr. Evans, are generally very uncooperative.”

Marlena struggled to focus, but the room was spinning, and she could barely hold her head steady. “I don’t know what is happening, but I’m going to prove you have escaped. Shane is going to arrest you, or John’s going to find you, one or the other. And if John finds you, he will kill you for what you’ve been doing to me.

“Come now, Doc, you’ve known I’ve been out for months now, haven’t you? Why hasn’t John tried to find me already? You’ve told him I’m out of prison, and yet he hasn’t done one thing to stop me.”

“He’s investigated everything I’ve said to him. He’s tried to figure this out.”

“Has he? Or is he just giving lip service to you because you’re mentally unstable?”

If Marlena could have, she would have punched Orpheus right then and there. But her restraints were tied too well, and she couldn’t see any way of getting loose. “I am not….mentally unstable,” she said pointedly.

“Oh, but you are. You stayed in Bayview for how long? And you’d seen me how many times before you went there? What was it that finally did it, Doc? Was it remembering all the kidnappings from Stefano, or was it being possessed…..twice? Or….was it remembering how much I scared you when I was burning you and Kayla alive?” He smiled that smirk at her again and she couldn’t believe how sadistic he really was.

“Actually,” he said, “I’m honestly surprised you lasted this long without going completely insane. You are so weak-minded it’s just pathetic really.”

“I am not weak!” Marlena spat at him. She kept trying to work at the bindings on her hands and wrench her hands free, but they were not giving loose.

“Oh, come on now, you’ve been possessed by the devil twice. That alone says you’re weak, but there are other things. You were brainwashed by Andre DiMera and killed how many people? And by that fool of an ex-husband of yours that tried to kill you. I could go on and on…”

“I’ve also survived all those things, and others, and I am not unstable. You are trying to drive me insane, but it won’t work. John will find me, and he will kill you. And then we won’t ever have to deal with your madness again.”

“My madness?”

“Yes. You are the one who has carried a grudge for how many years now? Over something that John didn’t even do. It was Roman who was your partner and Roman who killed your wife, not John, but you seem to think John is responsible for everything that ever happened to you.”

“Well, it may have been Roman who actually pulled the trigger, but John was Roman for a time, and during that time he became my enemy. He took you away from my children, which means he also took a mother away from them a second time. So, I have good reason to hate him, just like I do you.”

“Because I wouldn’t stay on that island, live as your wife, and raise your children? Is that what all this comes down to?”

“That’s part of it, but let’s not get caught up in this tedious history lesson. It’s time for us to have a little fun.” Orpheus walked over to a small table against the wall. Marlena hadn’t noticed it until then, but it had a small bag sitting on it, almost like a medical bag. He reached in and withdrew a syringe and a vial and proceeded to fill the syringe with liquid.

Oh my God he’s going to kill me!

“What is that?” Marlena asked, remembering that the last time he’d done this, he had penicillin in it. But that time wasn’t real. Or was it? She was disassociating almost, trying to remember what was real and what wasn’t.

“Just a little more of what I gave you initially. It’s much more fun at a higher dose.” He put down the vial and smiled that sinister smile at her as he began walking towards her.

“No, please! You can’t do this! NO!” Marlena was frantically trying to get loose, but she was tied tight. He dug the syringe into her upper arm straight through her clothes and pushed the plunger down, sending the drug into Marlena’s system. Almost immediately, she could feel its effects. It was worse than any nightmare she’d ever had and lasted for what seemed like hours. Visions of burning cars, and cages, and neckties danced in her head. Shooting Stefano, and him being impervious to it, while laughing at her trying over and over to shoot him. She was falling off buildings and being chased by the devil, and more horrible things until finally she passed out.

When she awoke, her head was throbbing, and the lights were so bright she had to squint at first. They hurt her head as well, and she was afraid she had a concussion. But she was no longer under the effect of the drugs it seemed, and she was grateful. She slowly opened her eyes and realized she was at the hospital in an exam room.

John was there and saw her eyes were opening. “Oh, baby, thank God. It’s ok, I’m here. I’m so glad you’re ok!”

“John?” She was still a little out of it, and completely unaware of how she’d gotten to the hospital.

“I’m here, Doc, you’re going to be ok. Everything will be alright, I promise.”

And then it all came to her, everything that had happened, came bursting out in flood of words to John. “You have to find him, John. It was Orpheus. He caught me when I was walking past the park and someone hit me on the head, and then I was tied up and he gave me some kind of drug or something.” She was grabbing at his hands and shirt and trying desperately to hold on to him. “Oh God, John, it was awful! You’ve got to catch him and stop him, please!” She was terrified, and the look on her face showed all of it.

You have to, John! You have to catch him and keep him from hurting me anymore!

John looked at her gently for a moment but said nothing.

“What is the matter? Why aren’t you saying anything?”

He doesn’t believe me. Again.

“It’s ok, baby,” he said again. “You’re going to be alright; I promise.” Tears began to form in his eyes, and Marlena became confused and angry.

“John, I said it’s Orpheus. He’s been calling me and terrorizing me for weeks now. I haven’t said anything because I wanted to prove to you myself that he was doing it, especially since Shane has been lying to you about all this….”

Why don’t you believe me?

John interrupted her, “Sweetheart, please. I really need you to listen to me, ok? After I got home and read your note, I went to the park, but you weren’t there. I called and called, but you never answered, so I started looking for you. I went past the park a little way and found you on the ground unconscious. You hit your head when you collapsed and I was afraid you had a concussion, so the ambulance brought you here.”

“No, that’s not what happened. Someone hit me from behind and Orpheus tied me up and….” She was getting very agitated and upset at all this.

“No, baby, no one tied you up. No one was there. You collapsed for some reason and hit your head. Maybe you just dreamed it, you know, like your nightmares you had?” He was talking as gently as he could, trying to make her realize that she hadn’t experienced anything and that it wasn’t real.

She began to cry as she continued to talk. “He was there, John! It was real! He had me tied up, and he gave me some kind of mind-altering drug and…..that’s it! Do a tox screen on me, John! Right now! It will still be in my system!”

“Kayla did that the moment they brought you in, baby. It’s completely clean. There is nothing in your system at all. You must have dreamed this baby.” He was trying not to be upset as well, but he was so worried about her. He had no idea she was becoming this bad and felt like she was almost losing touch with reality.

“Why don’t you believe me?” Fear was now raging inside of her.

“John, you have to believe me! It was real. I swear it, it was real…..” She was sobbing in his arms at this point, and he just held her.

“I’m so sorry this is happening to you, Doc, I’m so, so sorry.” He knew what he would have to do, but he had no desire to do it. “We need to get you some help, sweetheart. We need to make this better and help you be ok.”

“You are not putting me back in Bayview again. I am not insane, and I will not go.”

She sat back in the bed and looked at him, speaking as defiantly as she could. “I’m not going to Bayview, John. I am not unstable, and I am not hallucinating.”

“Doc,” he said softly, “you need help. I know you don’t like hearing that because you are such a strong person. But I’m afraid for you baby, and I’ve got to do something to help you, even if it means going against your wishes. We’ve got to do something to help you get past this.”

“Alright, if you want to help me, take me back to where you found me. And I’ll show you where I was, and what he did, and I’ll prove it to you myself.” She was trying to be strong, but she was beginning to crumble inside, especially if John didn’t believe her.

“Honey, I don’t think that is a good idea.”

“Listen to me, John. You swore that you would listen to me, and that you would believe me. I know I was hallucinating weeks ago, and that I had to deal with my PTSD. But I did it, John, I did. And I left Bayview healthy. I don’t know what is happening now, except to say that Orpheus is trying to drive me mad. And I’m very afraid he’s going to succeed, John.” Tears were falling down her cheeks now. “If you don’t let me prove this, he’s going to win, because I cannot take much more of this.” She was trying to finish talking, but she was almost sobbing. “And I won’t be able to take it if you don’t believe me, John, I won’t. Please, my love, please. I’m begging you, please take me there and I will prove to you it was him.”

“Ok, Doc. We’ll go. We’ll go there and find out what is happening to you once and for all.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

“John, I don’t think this is a good idea. You don’t know what this might trigger in her if you go back there. She needs to be at Bayview where we can get her back into therapy and actually help her beat this once and for all.” Dr. Raynor was standing with John outside Marlena’s hospital room. She’d seen Marlena after she was admitted and was very concerned about her condition, mentally and physically.

“She did beat it, Dr. Raynor. She beat it, and then she put herself back into situations too soon and she relapsed. That’s all that has happened at least. And at the worst, this is all real and she has been tormented by him all this time, and I’ve done nothing about it. I promise you, though, if that’s the truth, I will never forgive myself.”

“John, you and I both know she has been hallucinating all of this. All these events occurred when she was by herself. She has no proof that Shane has been lying to her or to you, and he himself has told you that he hasn’t spoken with her. She is manifesting this in her mind, and I’m scared she’s moving past PTSD into the realm of schizophrenia. She has to come back for treatment, or we could lose her altogether.”

“Dr. Raynor, this is one day. One single day for her to find out once and for all if this is real or if it isn’t. Nothing is going to change in one day.” He was frustrated with everything that was happening, but mostly with himself and his inability to help his wife through this. John desperately wanted to believe Marlena, but Dr. Raynor wasn’t wrong. Nothing made sense, but he was hoping this trip back to where they’d found her might shed some light on something.

“I’ll have her there tomorrow afternoon, if in fact it does turn out that this was all a hallucination. But for now, she’s coming home to me, and I am going to hold her and take care of her until we know more.”

“Alright, John, but please, just be careful. There’s so much at stake here.”

“And you think I don’t know that? This is my wife here, not just a patient, not just a colleague of yours, but my wife. She is everything to me, and I am not exaggerating when I say that.” Flashes of their life went through his mind, back to his first days in Salem. “I did not exist in the world before I met her, at least as far as I’m concerned. My life began the moment I held her hand. I don’t know how to exist without her, and I’ve had to try a few times.” Tears were running down his cheeks now. “But this time, if something happens to her, I’m just going to go with her. I can’t be without her again.”

Dr. Raynor put her hand on John’s arm. “We will get her back to us, John. We will make her whole again and help her to heal. I promise.”

John wiped his tears and nodded as Kayla walked up. She could tell there was something important passing between them, but just said, “John, here are Marlena’s discharge papers. Let me know if you need anything, ok?” Kayla had ruled out a concussion but insisted that Marlena take the night to rest before doing anything. She didn’t agree with taking her back to where they’d found her either, but she knew better than to get in between John and Marlena when their minds were set. She trusted implicitly, though, that he would never allow her to be harmed, and that was the only reason Kayla allowed her to be discharged.

John nodded again and said softly, “Thanks, Kay. Appreciate you.”

“Any time.” She walked on, as did Dr. Raynor, and John went to get Marlena and take her home. The kids had all asked about coming over that night to spend time with her, but they’d come by the hospital already and John wanted her to get some rest like Kayla said. He sent them one last text before leaving and told them he’d text again after he knew more.

They spent the night not talking about what was to come the next day, but just holding each other as much as they could. They both knew what could happen, and they wanted this night to be about nothing but them. They ate dinner in and spent the evening giving each other long looks and holding hands. Finally, they fell asleep wrapped in each other and barely moved all night.

The next morning, they showered and dressed with very little word passing between them. Their moods were heavy as they both knew what was at stake. As they got in the car to leave, Marlena turned to him and said, “John, if this turns out badly….”

He stopped her right there, saying, “There is nothing that could happen today or any day that would keep me from being by your side. No matter what.”

She gave him a tiny smile and said, “Ok. No matter what.”

They drove down past the park and John stopped on the side street where they’d found her the day before. They got out and Marlena recognized where she had stopped yesterday and ran into Orpheus. “Down there,” she pointed, and they walked a bit down the street. As they did, she saw it. The outside of a very dilapidated building. She walked faster as John walked behind her. She got to the door and pushed it open. As she did, she saw inside and recognized it as the place Orpheus had taken her, but there was nothing there. No small table, no chair, no nothing. But they did see where it looked like someone had been walking around in there recently. There were footprints all over the floor that seemed to be exactly Marlena’s shoe size.

“This is it,” she said softly. “This is where he took me….but I don’t….” She looked back at John. “There’s nothing here.” She began to cry as she said, “Nothing that was here yesterday is here.”

John put his hand on her back and started to say something, but just then a homeless man approached them. “Hey! Hey, you!” he yelled at them.

They both turned to look, and it appeared the man was talking to her. “What do you need, sir?” John asked.

“It’s her I need. Why are you back here?” He was almost in Marlena’s face by now and John stepped in between them.

“I asked what you need with my wife, sir,” he said more sternly.

“She was here yesterday. I saw her,” the man said.

John was hopeful the man saw what had happened. “What did you see exactly?” he asked.

“I saw her, walking down the street in some kind of trance, then she turned around and walked in there.”

“Did you see anyone else around her or with her?” John was praying that he had.

“No, there was nobody, just her. She went in there and she stayed for a couple hours just screaming and yelling at someone. I wanted to tell her to stop, but I was afraid to go in there. She kept me awake and it was my nap time, and she wouldn’t shut up!” He tried to lunge at Marlena, but John grabbed him by the collar and pushed him back.

“You need to back off!”

“And you need to tell her to stop bothering people when they’re trying to sleep! She’s crazy, she is! Beating and banging and yelling at people who aren’t there! And then she comes out finally and walks up the street and collapses. Lucky you came along so fast and found her. She’s nuts!”

John shoved him away and yelled, “Get out of here!”

The man stumbled away but John could hear him saying, “Some people need to be locked up!”

He turned to look at Marlena. Her face was ashen, and she looked as if she might pass out. He went to her and put his hands on her arms to steady her. “Doc, it’s ok. You’re ok. Let me get you home.” He led her to the car, but she never said a word. Inside her mind, however, Fear had gripped her completely.

“I know it was real, but it wasn’t. He said it wasn’t. I am losing my mind. Oh, God, this can’t happen to me. I can’t let it happen. I can’t go back there. There’s no way out of this nightmare. He will keep finding me and torturing me until I am completely insane. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this……”

When they went into the townhouse, John sat her down on the couch. She still hadn’t said a word and was just staring blankly ahead. “Doc, I’m going to make us some lunch, ok? And then maybe we need to talk about what to do.” He was so concerned about her and worried like he’d never been before.

She finally looked up at him and stared for a moment. “Ok,” was all she said.

John nodded and said, “I’ll just be in the kitchen. You stay right here, and I’ll be back in a minute.” As soon as he was out of sight, Marlena stood up and saw some paper and a pen on the table. She wrote a quick note, grabbed her keys, and walked silently out the door.

In the kitchen, John was making soup and sandwiches when his phone rang. “Hey, Shane,” he said as he answered.

“How did it go?” Shane asked. Kimberly had told they were going out this morning and he was hopeful for a good outcome.

“Bad, Shane. Really bad. She’s going to have to go back to Bayview even though I know she doesn’t want to.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, John. I can’t imagine how devastating this is for you.”

“She’s my life, Shane. When she hurts, I hurt. But I just don’t understand it. She was doing better, but she hasn’t been ok for a while. That time a few weeks ago when we talked really did her in and I think that was when she started to spiral.”

“What do you mean?”

“The time when she thought you’d called her, but you said she’d called you. When she said you were lying to me.”

“John, I don’t know what you’re talking about. We never had that conversation.”

“But I spoke with you right after she did. She said you’d called to tell her to not tell me about Orpheus and then you said she’d called you. How do you not remember?” And then it hit him. “Oh my God!”

He ran into the living room, but she was gone. He saw the note on the table and read it. “No, Doc, oh God, no!” he said and took off out the door. He got to the parking garage and saw her car was gone. He tried frantically to call her on her phone, but she either didn’t have it or wasn’t answering it. He jumped in his car, not knowing where to go or where to look, but he didn’t care. He had to find her, now, before she did something irreparably wrong.

He drove for a few minutes around the neighborhood, searching in vain, then stopped to think of where she might have gone. At that moment, his phone rang. It was Abe, and he knew in his heart this was something terrible.

“Hey partner, please tell me you have my wife with you.”

Abe paused, and then says, “John, you need to get to the hospital right now.”

John put the car into drive and sped off, phone still in hand. “She’s not hurt, is she?”

“No not yet. But hurry.”

“What do you mean not yet?”

“She’s on the roof.”

Present day

John keeps Marlena talking so the police can set up a life net on the ground. The helicopters then begin flying around, and he calls Abe to have him send them away. He doesn’t want her to remember being shot on another roof so many years ago, so Abe has them grounded.

“Keep going, baby, it’s just you and me up here.”

“It doesn’t matter. Nothing does. I’ll never be rid of him, and I’ll never get anyone to believe me.”

“It makes no difference, John, nothing makes sense. I’m not getting better. You don’t believe me, and Orpheus is just going to keep torturing me until I really go crazy. This is the only way out of this nightmare.” She turns a bit and looks over the edge again.

“Marlena, I need you to listen to me. Look at me, and listen, please.” 

“It doesn’t matter anymore, nothing matters. It all just hurts.”

“John, please stop. Nothing can stop this hurt. No one can stop him. I just want this to be over.”

“Doc, please, if you love me at all, if you ever loved me, I need you to look at me and listen.”

There is so much hurt and pain and fear inside her, but somewhere, deep inside, is the love she knows John has for her. That tiny piece calls out to him and wants him to help her. She slowly turns her head, and he begins to speak.

“From the first moment I held your hand, I knew I was home. You were there for me from day one. You were always my rock, no matter what my memories were doing to me, no matter how much I felt lost, not even when you thought I was Stefano DiMera. You were always the thing that grounded me. And now, it doesn’t matter who I was before you, because I didn’t really exist before you. Then, after you found me in Stefano’s lab, you held my hand again. And eventually you brought me back once more, even when every shred of who I used to be was gone. I still knew somehow that you were important to me, and that I could trust you. I didn’t know why or how, but I knew you were the answer to every question, every problem, everything I needed. I want you to remember that I am the one thing that you can hold on to. I know how scared you are, and how you feel like you can’t trust yourself or trust your own mind. Believe me, I know that feeling all too well. But please, Doc, let me help you like you helped me. Come on baby, just give me your hand.”

He reaches out to her, willing her to come to him somehow. She is crying softly, and wants him to help her, but a war is raging in her head between giving in to the pain and believing in him one more time. Just as one of them is about to win, Shane comes through the door to the roof. “Shane, thank God!” Marlena cries. “Please, please tell John the truth! Please tell him that all of this was real!” One last hope rises up in her that this might all be over.

“Marlena, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve just come to see if I could help,” Shane replies.

“NOOOO! God why is he doing this! I can’t do this anymore!”

“Oh God, please Shane you can’t do this!”

Everything in her is about to disintegrate into madness when John says indignantly, “That’s not Shane, Doc, it’s Drew.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“Well, it’s about bloody time you figured out that one, mate.” Drew says, grinning at John, almost laughing at him.

“Drew Donovan. You were in prison the last I heard. How did you end up here?”

He sneered and said, “Let’s just say I have friends in high places.”

“How long have you been at this, Drew?” John is seething but trying to stay under control.

“Oh, since we heard that your sweet wife there was falling off her rocker,” he says mockingly.

John starts to lunge at him, but Drew pulls a gun out of his jacket and points it straight at him. “Not so fast, there, mate. That’s not going to be the way this goes.”

“What do you mean, we?” Marlena asks, still standing dangerously close to the edge of the roof.

“Orpheus and I. We’ve been behind all of this. And now, you’re going to go off this roof, Marlena, and I think John is going to go right behind you. Isn’t that what he said?”

“We’re not going anywhere, but you will be going back to prison where you belong.” He turns around and slowly walks towards Marlena. “Doc, you were right. You were right this entire time. It was real, and you’re not hallucinating. I’m so sorry, baby. Please come down to me.”

He reaches out a hand to her, but Drew intervenes. “No, Marlena, you’re staying right there. This is going to end exactly the way we’ve planned it.”

She realizes this has all been orchestrated to make her think she was losing her mind, but all of it, everything since she was released from Bayview, has been real. “You both planned to try and make me do this? And this whole time, everything since I left the hospital, has actually happened?”

“That’s right, and once you go off that roof there, our plan will be complete.”

John wants to get to Marlena, but he knows Drew has the upper hand at the moment. He has a pistol hidden in his waistband but is afraid to go for it with Marlena so close to the edge of the roof. So, he tries to stall by getting Drew to talk until he can make the next move. “So how did you do it Drew? How did you fool us all this time?”

Anxious to brag about their accomplishments, Drew obliges. “Orpheus and I planned this months ago. We met in an ISA prison just before he got sent to Malta. We hit it off pretty well, considering we both were there because of you. Once he was there, he got word to me that the guards told him Marlena was losing her mind and hallucinating that she was seeing him. He said Shane kept checking in on him over and over and it gave him an idea.”

John is ready to tear Drew apart for talking like that about Marlena, but he holds it in to get more of the story. “And what, you two planted a lookalike in the cell somehow?”

“Well, first I escaped, thanks to Orpheus. He really has people everywhere you know?” Drew was smiling at the thought escaping from the ISA so easily.

“So I gather, “John said coolly. “Then what?”

“Then I came to Malta and posed as Shane. I brought Orpheus’ replacement with me, and at the perfect time, the guards let me switch them out.”

“Those guards worked for Orpheus, too? The ones who were supposed to be watching him 24/7 and so trustworthy?”

“Yep. Then we came to Salem.”

Marlena was listening quietly and had calmed down a bit. “To what end?” she asked.

“To your end, Marlena. And yours too, John.”

“What are you talking about?”

“We knew that Marlena had been hallucinating about seeing Orpheus, so we decided to make it real. We even bugged your house so we could hear everything that was happening and make it seem like she never stopped.”

“What about the phone calls from Shane, telling me to keep everything quiet?” Marlena asked. “It was Shane who was calling me, at least, I thought it was.” She knows now that it was Drew all along.

“Oh, that was easy. I rigged some burner phones to show up as his caller ID, his number, you know? But if you called him, it would still go to his phone, and he wouldn’t know anything your conversations with me.” Drew is smiling again, almost laughing at the memory of what he had done. “The more it happened, the more you looked like you were going crazy! And the crazier you thought you were becoming!” He is almost giddy now, enjoying how much he had gotten over on John and Marlena. He is about to continue the story when the door to the roof opens again. John is hopeful it is Abe or someone that can help. His hopes are dashed as soon as the person comes over the threshold.

“Will you just get on with it, you idiot?” Orpheus is angry at Drew for not having everything finished by now, and that John and Marlena are still alive. “Jesus, do I have to do everything myself?”

“What do you mean, do everything yourself? I’ve done more than my share, here, and look where it’s gotten us! She’s right there, ready to jump!”

“Yes, and John figured it out and now he’s here. Great work.” Orpheus’ condescending tone angers Drew.

“All you’ve done this whole time is berate me and complain about everything. You’ve got them right here where you want them, and you’re still not satisfied!” Drew is getting more and more angry and losing his focus on John and Marlena. 

Finally, he turns to say something else to Orpheus and John makes his move. He calls back to Marlena and says, “Run, Doc!” as he pulls out his pistol from his waistband. Marlena comes down from her perch and runs to hide behind a vent on the roof but keeps watch on what is happening. John shoots Drew, hitting him in the left shoulder.

Drew falls to the ground as his gun falls out of his hand and out of his reach. He cries out in pain as John takes another shot, this time at Orpheus. Orpheus anticipates the move and dives out of the way, falling to the ground as he also tries to hide behind a vent. He tries to roll out of John’s line of fire, but John has him dead to rights. He shoots twice and hits him in the leg both times. Orpheus is neutralized and cannot move as John walks over to him, still pointing his pistol towards his head. Drew is still crying out in pain on John’s right side, as Orpheus says, “I knew you would never be able to finish this!”

Drew moans and says, “I did everything I was supposed to do, right up to the end you bloody bastard. This was not my fault!”

John interrupts their arguing and says, “That’s enough. You’re both going back to prison where you belong, and I don’t care if I have to guard you myself, you’re damn well going to stay there.”

Marlena, seeing that John has things under control, ventures out from her hiding place. She is shaken, but the knowledge that she was right about all of it strengthens her. “John,” she says, waiting behind him.

“You ok back there, baby?”

“Yes, I….I’m ok.”

I was right. It was real….it was all real. Her Fear was shrinking now and would disappear completely soon.

“You just stay there baby, I’m going to call Abe right now and get the entire police force up here.”

“John, wait, I need to ask him something.”

“Doc, we need to get them in custody right now.”

“Just a minute, please. I need to have some answers.” She looks at Orpheus lying prostrate on the ground, blood oozing from the injuries to his leg, and asks simply, “Why?”

“Revenge, Dr. Evans, why do you think? When I heard you were having some….mental difficulties let’s say, I knew that was how I could finally get my revenge on you and on John.”

“By doing what, exactly?”

“By driving you mad!” Drew answered flippantly.

Marlena looked at them both as it dawned on her. “You wanted to drive me insane so I would….commit suicide?” She was sickened by the depth of what they had done, and it nearly made her retch.

“Exactly. You were already having hallucinations of me, why not make them real? No one would believe you, I could continue to….visit you, as it were. All the while pushing you deeper and deeper into madness until you couldn’t see any way out. After you committed suicide, John would be left all alone and blame himself for the rest of his life, especially after I’d let him know that I was actually free, and Marlena was telling the truth.”

“You unconscionable bastard,” John said through clenched teeth.

“And had it not been for this blustering idiot here, it would have worked.” Orpheus looks at Drew with total disdain, furious that his plan has ended in complete failure.

“I’ll have you know this blustering idiot not only got you out of prison, but also rigged the phones, faked the DNA test, and paid off everyone from the guards to that stupid homeless guy!”

“That’s it. I’ve heard enough.” John calls Abe and tells him he has Marlena safe, but he needs every available cop up there immediately. Then he turns his attention to Marlena.

“Come here baby, it’s ok. It’s all over.” He keeps the gun trained on Orpheus but looks over his shoulder and holds out his hand to her.

She stands there for just a moment, then takes it as he pulls her close to him. Their arms instinctively wrap around each other, and he kisses her on the forehead. She is so relieved that she begins to sob into his shoulder. “God, I can’t believe this. It was real, John, it was all real. I didn’t imagine anything….”

“You didn’t baby, and I’m so sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”

Within minutes, the roof is filled with policemen. Kayla is there, along with Janine the nurse, to make sure Marlena is alright. The police take Orpheus and Drew into custody, and John calls Shane to tell him what has happened. Shane is overwhelmed that his twin brother could do anything as reprehensible as work with Orpheus and try to destroy Marlena in the process. He is also incredibly angry that Drew was able to escape without his knowledge. He vows to John that there will be a top-down investigation of everyone who has any connection to the ISA to make sure all of Orpheus’ men are removed from the organization.

After Drew and Orpheus are safely away, John and Marlena have a moment to start processing everything that has happened. They’re standing on the rooftop in the same place where they watched the picture montage John had made so many months ago.

“Doc,…” John begins to apologize, but Marlena stops him, placing her finger against his lips.

“You don’t need to apologize. This is not your fault.”

“But I should have listened to you.” His guilt is heavy in his voice.

“You did, my love,” she says, caressing his cheek with her hand. “You listened, and you tried to do everything you thought was best. But you didn’t see the truth, and neither did I. We couldn’t have guessed that they were behind any of this, especially Drew. No one could have guessed he was a part of all this.”

“I guess,” John says hesitantly. “But it is amazing the lengths Orpheus went to to try and hurt us again.”

“It is. But he didn’t break us,” Marlena says assuredly.

John wrapped his arms around her waist and held her. “No, but this time was much too close for comfort. I promise I’ll make sure Shane does what he says about cleaning out the ISA.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. “And I promise to always tell you everything, no matter what.”

“Well, I think we have a plan, Dr. Evans. What’s say we head downstairs and let Kayla check you out? I want to make sure you’re alright after all this.”

“Kayla already did, and I’m fine. She just reminded me to get some good sleep after everything we’ve been through.”

“Then I’ll take you home and put you straight to bed.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” she says with a grin. They dissolve into a long and passionate kiss, both being grateful for the outcome from today, and for having one another.

As they pull away from each other, Marlena asks, “Do you think Orpheus is out of our lives?”

“I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that is the case, Doc. I promise.”

Then, a shadow crosses Marlena’s face as she recalls what John said to her earlier. “Did you mean what you said? About going off the roof right behind me?”

John doesn’t hesitate as he responds. “Yes. I would have.”

“But why? We still have family, our kids, and grandkids. You would still have a life without me.”

“Doc, when I was….gone….and you were by yourself, what did it feel like?”

Marlena thinks for a moment, then says softly, “Like half of me was missing.”

“Exactly,” John says. “I am not whole without you. I’m just a shell of a person because you are everything to me. I meant it when I said when my life began the moment I held your hand. I knew then who I was because I was the person who loved you, and who you loved back. That’s all I’ve ever needed to know, really. I’m grateful for the things I’ve found out about my past, but if I’d never learned anything, it would be ok, because you love me, and I love you. And that’s everything.”

“I love you so much,” she says as she smiles at him.

“I love you even more,” he replies.

They give the roof one last look, then turn to head back to their home and their life, together.