“I really don’t think you coming over is a good idea, John. Please, I don’t want to
talk right now, okay. I have to go, goodbye.” A single tear ran down her check as
Marlena ended the phone call. Once again pushing John away. She could hear
the pain in his voice. She hated hurting him like this, but felt it was for the best.
Until she could figure out what was going on in her life. She had thoughts of
hurting people, she dreamed of killing people. But was it real? There was so much
she didn’t remember. She couldn’t be sure if she was the killer. Until she could find
the truth she had to keep John away from her. She didn’t want him thinking she
could be responsible for the murders. Not until she could remember everything
herself. She couldn’t confide in him, not yet.
She jumped at the sound of someone knocking on the door. “Who is it?” she
asked. She hadn’t been expecting anyone and had told everyone she wanted
to be alone. But that was a lie. She wanted to be with John. It was hard being
alone on Valentines Day. It had always been special to them. She wanted to be
with him so badly, she wanted him to make love to her and make her feel safe.
“Doc, it’s me. Can I come in? I really want to see you.. .please Marlena. I miss
you baby.” John had to get through to her. He had to find out why she was
pushing him away. “Baby please, I
can’t live without you. You are my life. I feel like I’m dying without you.” He knew
he couldn’t continue living without her.
Marlena walked toward the door. “John I thought I told you I wanted to be
alone,” she said.
“Doc please, I love you.” John’s voice was full of emotion as he spoke. Tears fell
freely, and he didn’t bother wiping them away. Seconds later he was staring into
the most beautiful hazel eyes he had ever seen as she opened the door. “Can I
come in?” he asked.
“Yes,” she whispered and turned quickly away from him, as tears formed in her
eyes at the sight of him. She hated seeing him like this. He was the strongest man
she knew, and she hated seeing him so broken and defeated. She heard the
door shut and felt his hand on her shoulder. She could feel him move closer to
her. She started to walk away when he wrapped his arm around her waist and
pulled her back against him.
“Don’t walk away from me, Doc.” He buried his face in her neck, and he could
smell her perfume and shampoo. “Please talk to me,” he pleaded. His hand
began sliding up and down her stomach, causing her breathing to grow shallow.
She wanted to move away from him but was unable to move. She couldn’t resist
him, and she melted at his touch. She thought how unfair this was. He knew she
couldn’t resist him when he was this close to her. She could feel herself giving in to
his touch. “John, please don’t…” she said softly.
He began kissing her neck very gently, and he could feel her lean back into him.
He turned her in his arms to look into her eyes. She tried avoiding eye contact
with him, because she knew she would give in completely if she saw the emotion
in his eyes. Grabbing her chin he forced her to look at him.
Instantly tears formed in her eyes. “Oh John!” She cried, and placing her head on
his shoulder, she melted into him. They just stood there holding each other and
crying. Neither of them spoke a word for several minutes.
She quickly pulled away from him and started to walk away. He grabbed her arms
and pulled her back to him, face to face. She hadn’t seen that look in his eyes
since that night on the plane. The desperation and want. He was afraid of losing
her again. He had to show her how much he loved her. He had to get her to
admit that she loved and wanted him too. He wasn’t letting go without fighting
for her.
She wanted to tell him to leave and to let her go. But her heart spoke instead of
her mind “John…make love to me,” she whispered, shocked at her own words,
but meaning them more than she ever had before. “I need you, I… I love you,”
she said softly as tears ran down her cheeks. She placed her hands on his face
and wiped his tears away. Pulling him close, she kissed him softly.
John picked her up and carried her upstairs. He placed her on the bed and lay
down next to her. He slowly began undressing her. It had been too long for both
of them. He wanted to enjoy every second and not rush this. He kissed her neck
and shoulders as he removed her blouse. She whispered his name and how much
she loved him over and over. He removed her bra and began kissing her breast.
She arched her back and ran her fingers through his hair pulling him closer. “Oh
John,” she moaned.
Moments later they had both removed all clothing. John lay on top of her
looking into her eyes. “I love you. I won’t lose you again Marlena,” he said as he
slowly began making love to her.
“Ohhh John!” she gasped as she felt him inside her. They kept eye contact as he
began thrusting into her. “I love you,” she sighed. She loved the feeling of him
inside her, the way he touched her, and the way he whispered in her ear as he
made love to her. She loved everything about this man.
They made love slowly. Neither of them wanting this to end. Both feeling alive
again, both needing this to last as long as possible. Their bodies moving together
under satin sheets, they became one again.
Marlena lay in his arms as she ran her hand over his chest. He placed soft kisses on
her face. “I love you Doc. Tell me what’s wrong baby? You know you can tell me
anything.”
“John, I may have… sometimes I think…” She searched for words. How do you tell
your husband you may have killed seven people? There was so much she was
unsure of herself. “I’m not sure how to put this. I’m so afraid you’ll leave me, or
worse… that you’ll have me put away,” she cried.
“Hey what’s wrong?” he asked, taking her face in his hands.
“I think I killed those people. Oh God, John. I think I’m the serial killer. I have
dreams of killing people, I don’t remember doing it but there’s a lot I don’t
remember. It’s like I black out and when I come to, I hear that someone is dead.”
The words came tumbling out.
John sat in disbelief at what he heard. “Doc, there is no way in hell you are the
serial killer. There has to be an explanation for all of this.” He jumped up and went
to the closet.
“You’re leaving me, aren’t you? I knew it, I knew better than to tell you this!” She
shouted at him.
Laying on top of her, he pinned her hands back over her head. “Listen to me, I’m
not leaving you. I am getting you away from here. Someone’s messing with you
and I’m going to find out who it is. Celeste said I’m going to kill you. Well, she’s
right. I’m going to fake your death and get you out of town. We can make it look
like an accident. I need a few minutes to think about exactly how to do it, but I
promise you this Doc, I will find out what going on. You will be safe and when I find
out who is responsible… I’ll kill the bastard. No one, no one is going to pin this on
you.” He wrapped his arms around her tightly “I love you Doc. I promise you that
everything will be alright.” They held each other as they discussed what to do
next.
The only thing Marlena knew for certain, was that John loved her and would
move heaven and earth to figure out what was going on. She knew he would
keep her safe. She knew he would die for her and she knew his love would save
her just like it had so many times before.
THE END
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The Jarlena Journal 