Unexpected Visitor – By Cordelia50

“I’m surprised to see you,” Marlena said frankly. She’d finished with her last patient of this long, frazzling day, and had been about to lock up her office and finally go home, when her assistant, on her own way out, buzzed and announced the unexpected visitor.

“I know,” Kristen replied, haughtiness oozing from her eyes and voice. “You probably hoped I’d just fade into the woodwork, didn’t you? Or maybe follow Stefano into hiding?”

Marlena had sunk back down into her desk chair and assumed the other woman would sit too, but so far she just stood there glowering, unseasonably clad in a fairly stylish full-length coat.

Listlessly shrugging, Marlena said coolly, “Whatever you do, Kristen, is up to you. Peter’s in New York, Rachel disappeared, Stefano is being hunted by scads of law enforcement agencies.” Pausing, Marlena looked at the scowling woman and asked, “You left Salem three months ago, didn’t you? Why come back now?”

“You know why.” Kristen finally flounced into the patient’s chair on her left.

“No, I really don’t. What’s here for you?”

“I want some answers, Marlena.”

“About what? You got your letter from Mickey, right? I assume you read it.”

“I’m sure you know what it said.”

Tired of this game, Marlena shook her head. “No, I don’t. John wrote as many messages as he could in the short time he had. He gave them directly to Mickey.” As she said John’s name, her eyes flicked quickly to the picture of him on her desk, and just as quickly they returned stoically to Kristen.

“Oh, come on. He must have told you. He spent his final minutes with you.”

Marlena sighed. “Kristen, what’s the point of belaboring this? I don’t know what he wrote to you.”

Sarcastically, Kristen said, “How can I believe you? You told me in Aremid that you and John were only friends. You said you didn’t have romantic feelings for him anymore, and he didn’t have any for you. Glaring, Kristen nearly hissed, “Didn’t you?”

Again glancing at the picture of John, Marlena felt a wave of the hopelessness that she had to battle so often these days. But a little guilt also mixed in her feelings. She turned her attention back to Kristen, looking more at her nose and mouth than her eyes. She decided she would have this conversation. “Yes, I did.”

A brief look of triumph crossed Kristen’s face, but both women knew how false it was, as Marlena continued, truly contritely, “Kristen, I’m sorry. Because I shouldn’t have said that. I thought it was true for a long time, but during the trial –”

“You realized you’d been lying to everyone,” Kristen shot at her scornfully.

Pushing herself deeper into her chair, Marlena corrected that statement in an intentionally measured tone, “I realized I’d repressed the love I felt for John. Because of our affair, the divorce, Sami…” But suddenly she became impatient, “Oh, really. Kristen. You know the situation. I don’t have to dig it all up again.”

“Yeah, I know.” Suddenly the brassiness left Kristen and she said grimly, “John lied too. Maybe he repressed it too, but after the exorcism, and in Aremid, he changed.” She took a deep breath. “Before he was unwavering; he wanted us to be married. But after, I felt him growing distant.”

Chuffing, Marlena said in a steely voice, “Kristen, we all just have to play the cards we get dealt. What kind of a blow do you think it was to John when he found out he wasn’t Roman and lost the only family he’d known. And when he lost Isabella not long after? Then after he’d put his hopes on a life with you, he found out he was a priest, and you broke up with him – and broke his heart.”

Kristen, perhaps to her credit, looked crestfallen at these reminders.

Marlena did fix her eyes on Kristen’s then. “All of us go through life not knowing what it’s going to throw at us next. You and I do share something. We know pain in our very marrow right now because life threw a horribly unjust curve ball at John and at us.” She paused and then said more quietly, “I’m sorry I confused you by not being forthright about my feelings. I think John would say the same, but I’m not going to speak for him.”

Kristen stared at Marlena and then said bitterly, sadly, “I loved him. Really loved him.”

Marlena stared back and noted uncompromisingly, “But you didn’t believe in his innocence, Kristen. That hurt him so badly.”

That provoked silence from Kristen for a moment, but then she said, “I couldn’t be sure. I knew deep inside that something had shifted in John. Something was different. And I thought if he wasn’t being totally honest with me about us, he might be holding something back about Tony’s death too.”

“And you still have doubts about his innocence now, don’t you?”

“Yes. God help me. I do,” Kristen admitted, baring a little of her soul.

“Kristen. My Go—. Do you think Mickey and the bailiff and Rachel and I are all lying about diary that proves Tony engineered the entire ‘murder’?” Marlena regarded her with mixed shock and sorrow.

Kristen just answered woodenly but defiantly. “I don’t know what to think. You say there was a diary, but the judge never saw it, and neither did I.”

“Well, there was!” Marlena snapped heatedly. “It was the proof John needed to be acquitted – to be totally exonerated, but SOMEONE stole it from the judge’s chambers before Judge Walker could examine it.” Her eyes stung, and she willed herself not to cry.

Kristen bristled. “Are you implying I took it?” she demanded angrily.

Taking a deep breath, Marlena steadied her own voice. “No. No, I’m not. I can’t believe you would do such a heinous thing. But your father would. I believe he has that book. Or perhaps he destroyed it.”

“We both know it’s possible,” Kristen conceded. She shifted in her seat, and then added, “For a while you thought my father might have changed, didn’t you?”

“I saw a different side of him when he was truly wheelchair-bound and had amnesia. But John never trusted him, and that turned out to be right because, as we all know now, Stefano’s memory and his mobility returned in Aremid. We’re pretty sure he blackmailed the judge to schedule the execution so quickly after sentencing.” She swallowed hard and noted the haunted look that briefly passed over her visitor’s features. “We can’t prove it yet. But Abe and many others are working on it. Stefano pretended he had changed, but his evil side had returned.”

Kristen smirked, once again focusing on what mattered to her. “Yes, he lied. But so did you. So did John.”

Marlena ignored that jibe and said resolutely, “We’re going to find irrefutable proof that John didn’t murder Tony, and we’re going to clear his name, Kristen. I swear it. Then, I hope you’ll finally cast away every doubt you have.”

When Kristen didn’t immediately come back with a retort, Marlena thought perhaps this very uncomfortable “chat” had run its course. She rose from her chair so she could escort Kristen out and go home to her family.

But Kristen stayed glued in her seat. Finally she said, “He wrote he hoped I would move on with my life, find love again, and be happy.”

Slightly taken off guard by this willingness of Kristen’s to share, Marlena slowly nodded, and replied simply, “Sounds like John to me. I’m sure he did want that for you.”

“He didn’t mention my distrust of him. In fact, he didn’t say anything else at all. It was very short.”

Marlena shrugged. “Perhaps it wasn’t uppermost in his thoughts. Also, he didn’t have a lot of time…” She came around her desk and sat on the edge of it. “Kristen, again, why are you here? You can go anywhere in the world and live however you like. Make a new start.”

“Oh you mean like a clean slate? Like, scoot along, Kristen, you’ve got no ties to John Black or his kin anymore, even though you were technically his fiancee when he died. Like that? No worries about Brady or Belle, no worries about any kind of material inheritance? Yeah, I have no claim on the children, and John gave you all his wealth too. I was his fiancee, but you’re the one who ended up as his widow in everyone’s eyes. So, sure, I should just scram, and not bother you or anyone here in Salem ever again! That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it? That’s what you want.”

More than slightly chagrined at the bluntness of that speech, Marlena tried to think of something to say. But the truth was, Kristen had pretty much nailed it.

Kristen stared straight ahead instead of looking up at Marlena. “Is that what John told you too, Marlena? Did he say you should get on with your life?”

Marlena had no intention of confiding the details of her last hour with John. She said only, “He asked me to raise Brady with Belle.”

Kristen’s skeptical expression almost spoke for her, but she said mockingly, “John’s precious Marlena. His Doc. Are you going to get married again? Maybe to Roman? Maybe someone else? You going to just put John in your past and move on?”

When she got no response, Kristen scoffed, “Uh huh. It’s always easy to tell other people what they should do. Not so easy to do it yourself. You shrinks are as susceptible as anyone to resorting to ‘do as I say, not as I do.’ You never dated another man after you and Roman were divorced. That should have told me everything I needed to know right from the start.”

“Enough!” Marlena really couldn’t take any more of this. “There’s no point in putting both our hearts through the grinder. We’re done here. I have to get home to the kids.”

Kristen didn’t budge. “I’m not finished. I’m here, Marlena, because I want you to do something for me.”

Trying to keep the wariness out of her tone, Marlena tiredly and shortly asked, “What?” Thinking Kristen believed she was entitled to a share of John’s millions, Marlena wasn’t above giving her a few if it would prompt her to go live her life somewhere far away.

Finally rising from her chair, Kristen, who had kept her blue coat on all this time, started to unbutton it. Impatiently, Marlena said, “Just tell me what you want, so we can both go. No need to make yourself comfortable now.”

Ignoring Marlena, Kristen pulled the coat apart and let it fall on the chair behind her. And then Marlena’s heart dropped. Now it was clear why Kristen had worn the coat. Without it, the baby bump was much more obvious.

Marlena felt as if the world were falling on her. No. No. Why, God? Why did Kristen have to be carrying John’s last child? Kristen didn’t have to say John was the father. Marlena knew without a shadow of a doubt.

She couldn’t help it. She couldn’t be so close. Marlena got off the edge of her desk and moved back a couple of feet, giving her more space.

Kristen watched her like a hawk about to dive at prey. Marlena saw a passing glee, but then Kristen suppressed it and assumed a poker face. She said nothing, apparently thinking Marlena should speak.

Trying to calm her swirling thoughts, Marlena did quick math. “You’re about five months along, right?” she estimated, keeping her voice as steady as possible.

“Correct.” Kristen sat again, on top of her coat, and Marlena retreated back behind her desk and also reseated herself.

“Well,” Marlena struggled for appropriate words. She really didn’t want to offer congratulations. What kind of mother would Kristen be to this child? Would she love him or her the way she should? Would she be willing to put the child’s needs before her own? Would she provide it with a good example and not allow Stefano any influence over it? If John were still alive, the child would have been protected from evil influences. He would have seen to that, even though Marlena was sure, he would not have married Kristen after the confessions of love he and Marlena had made in his cell. But he couldn’t be here to help guide this child. He never even knew Kristen was pregnant.

“When did you find out?”

“About a month and a half after the funeral.”

They both sounded so clinical. So detached, Marlena thought.

“Well,” she said again. “You have more than a last letter from John after all, Kristen.” As the sentence issued from her mouth, she knew it sounded shabby and caustic, but she didn’t take it back or try to add something more generous of spirit.

“I don’t want it.” Kristen spoke flatly.

Marlena felt another mighty blow to her fragile psyche. Not want the baby? Not want John’s child?

“I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t you want the baby?” She tried to hold Kristen’s eyes, but Kristen looked away, stubbornly silent. Marlena noticed she seemed on the verge of tears.

Reality hit Marlena again, and she stopped indulging her own reaction to this pregnancy and started concerning herself with this now vulnerable woman in front of her.

“Kristen,” she said gently. “I know this must be very difficult for you. You loved John. You two talked about having a family earlier, didn’t you? This isn’t the way you wanted to become a mother, I’m sure, but once the baby is born, you are going to love him or her so incredibly. You will be tremendously grateful for this gift of a child.”

Seemingly unmoved by these words, Kristen said, “John didn’t love me. He loved YOU. I told you in Aremid that he called me “Doc” when we were in bed. He wanted you there with him, not me. He spent his last hour with you, not me. And if he were here now, he’d love the baby, but still wouldn’t love me –”

“That’s not true,” Marlena interrupted. She paused, not sure what she should reveal, but finally she told her, “He did love you, Kristen. He told me a number of times he did.” It was pretty ironic, she thought, that she was trying to reassure another lover of John’s.

Kristen skewered Marlena with her now piercing stare. “You have always been the love of John’s life. I was just a stand-in when he couldn’t have you.”

Refusing to be pulled into that quagmire of “who did John love best” because, of course, it was not a contest Kristen would win, Marlena just said again, “John loved you, Kristen. He loved Isabella, too. He was devastated when Isabella died. He lost her, but still had their son, Brady.

“And he was very torn up too when he realized you didn’t believe in his innocence. But if he were here right now, I’m certain he would rejoice at the child you’re carrying, and he would always have a place in his heart for you, just as he did all his life for Isabella.”

Kristen refused to be mollified. She said resolutely, “I don’t want this child. I want you to adopt it.”

“What?” Marlena couldn’t conceal her shock. Why would Kristen give up her baby to a romantic rival? “No. Kristen, you aren’t thinking straight. Grief and disappointment are still so fresh. Give it time, and when the baby is born, and you meet him or her face to face, you’ll have an undeniable change of heart.”

Kristen’s face changed perceptibly into a cold mask. “If you won’t agree to adopt this baby, I’m going to go to a clinic and have it taken care of.”

Blood drained from Marlena’s face when she heard those awful words. A tiny voice in the back of her brain reminded her that when she first found out about her pregnancy with Belle, she had very briefly thought about taking that “termination route” instead of facing the turmoil of not knowing who the father was. She could hardly condemn Kristen for making this threat, when she had been tempted to “get it taken care of” too. She mentally flailed, trying to find words that would steer Kristen away, just as she had rejected that drastic and final “solution.”

“There’s no need for that. Believe me,” she beseeched in an unsteady voice.

“So, you will adopt this baby?”

Think, Marlena, she sternly lectured herself internally. Use your psychiatric training and help this woman.

“Kristen, even if, when you give birth, you are as adamant as you are now that you want me to adopt it, at some point in your future, you will regret giving up your own baby. And then what? You’ll come back and want the child? How confusing that would be for him or her.”

Kristen said nothing.

“Why do you want me to raise this child?” Marlena decided to take a different tack.

That roused Kristen. “John gave you Brady. He didn’t leave him with me, even though I was John’s fiancee. You might as well have John’s third biological child too. It’s what he’d want, isn’t it?”

“Is that what’s angering you? That John wanted me to have custody of Brady? Oh, gosh.” Marlena should have realized that even though Kristen had never been all that motherly toward Brady, she did care about the little boy (and also about Belle). It must have mortified her that her fiance hadn’t tapped her to raise his son.

Careful now, Marlena thought. How do I respond to this?

Clearing her throat, she said gingerly, “Brady has lost both of his biological parents. He is still young enough that he may not have any true memories of either of them as he grows. John desired Brady to grow up with his sister – half-sister. He wanted them to have each other. But if Brady’s mother were alive, Brady would be with her, not me, Kristen.

“Your child will not be an orphan. He or she will have YOU. Having one’s own mother if possible is what every child should have. You and I may not agree on many things, and we may have a natural aversion to one another for obvious reasons, but I would never encourage you to give up your child.”

For once, Kristen appeared to consider this, rather than dismiss it out of hand. But then she looked very sour again and said churlishly, “I think you don’t want your adored little Belle – and Brady too – to grow up alongside a child born of a DiMera.”

Marlena dove right in. “You’re not a DiMera. You’re a Blake. You are Rachel Blake’s daughter. And even though you had the misfortune of Stefano becoming your “adoptive” father, you are not his blood. Tony was his blood. But you are not.

“Although…even if you were, that doesn’t mean you have to exhibit the amoral and immoral behavior of Stefano and Tony.

“Listen, Kristen, you’ve had months longer than I to deal with your pregnancy. You’ve sprung it on me today, and honestly, I didn’t anticipate it at all. I haven’t had time to think about all the ramifications.” She paused, trying to feel her way.

“I know I said earlier that you can go live anywhere. But, I have to admit this revelation changes some things. As you point out, your baby is a sibling to both Brady and Belle. But the answer isn’t for me to adopt your child.”

“What is the answer, then?” Kristen’s voice held only challenge.

Marlena hoped she wouldn’t regret saying this. “That you live here in Salem someplace. Then Belle, Brady, and this baby will all know each other.”

Kristen got up and reached down for her coat. She put it on. “Maybe…” She said it musingly. No rancor. But no warmth either. She started for the door. She turned, sadness etched on her face. “You are John’s ‘precious Marlena’. He loved you with every fiber of his being. I never really had a chance.” She walked out.

Shakily, Marlena leaned forward, resting her elbows on her desk and sinking her head into her hands. She cried. Achingly. Longingly. For her lost beloved. For the man she would always love with all her heart.

Fin

Note: This short fic was inspired by the well-written, tear-jerking “A Second Chance,” by Jesey 168, also here on thejarlenajournal.