Unexpected Gifts – By April Rayne

Marlena walked into her townhouse still dazed.  She tossed her purse and keys on the desk by the door and moved over to sit on the edge of the couch.  She looked at the piece of paper in her hand.  Her eyes tearing slightly.

 

“How did this happen? What am I going to do?  I just don’t know how my life got to this point,” she said in desperation to herself.

 

She looked down at the paper again.  She took a deep breath as her gaze moved off into the distance.  She zoned out thinking back to the time in her office…

 

“I don’t remember any of the other years, but I remember everythingthat happened since you found me in Stefano’s lab.  And I remember you trying to teach me about tenderness and love and…and I remember exactly how it felt when we made love at the plane crash site.  Do you ever think about that,” asked John.

 

“Oh, I do.”

 

“So do I.  All the time.  Fact, that’s all I was thinking about when you were lying in that hospital bed.  And I thought, ‘Wow!  I may never feel that with her again.’  Or…or hear your voice, or…or…or see your smile.  And….I…I just kinda short circuited.”

 

“I did too.  I just felt so lost, and I felt so…alone, I felt so alone ever since,” she cried.

 

“I know.  But just know that you’re not.  Now.  I’m here,” John said, showing more emotion

than he had since his return.

 

“You are…,” she sobbed.

 

They embraced.  Her lips moved slowly to his.  They gently kissed as John lightly brushed her cheek with his hand before pushing her back to look at her one last time.  She had a smile on her face, and he knew she needed him just as he needed her.  He pulled her in closely.  She buried her face in his neck already panting in anticipation.  He pushed her towards her own desk.  His mouth kissing and nipping every inch of her neck.  She pulled his jacket down his shoulders as she sat back on her desk.  He slid out of his jacket and let it fall to the ground.  He then started pulling at her shirt so intensely that she broke their kiss to help him in fear he’d rip all the buttons off.  Once her shirt was off he grabbed her left breast through her camisole and grazed his thumb over her hardening nipple.  A moan from deep in her escape through her parted lips.  John’s mouth once again engulfed hers.  His tongue ferociously penetrating her mouth, and his hands began working to unfasten her pants.  His kiss filled with more and more passion as he leaned into her causing her lie back on the desk.  He broke their kiss and looked at her wanting to make sure this was okay.  She lazily opened her eyes and gave him a slight nod.  In one smooth motion he pulled off both her pants and panties.

 

“Ohhhhh….,” he groaned as he spread her legs revealing her glistening pussy to him.

 

Marlena closed her eyes taking in a deep breath.  John slowly dragged his fingers over her center.  Her hips instinctively thrust towards his movements.  He quickly dropped down to his knees, and grabbing her thighs he jerked her towards him.  His mouth came down on her clit first sucking it in before flicking his tongue against the pulsing mound.  She drew her knees back resting her feet on his shoulders.  He took his fingers and slowly dipped into her hot, velvety folds.  He smiled at the fact that she was already dripping wet for him.  He began stroking the hidden spot deep inside her.  Her body moved to meet his every move.  His tongue swirling around her clit and his fingers working their magic inside her made her body start to convulse with pleasure.  Her thighs were shaking, her toes curled up, and her breath came in short little burst.  She grabbed John’s head holding it down on her.

 

“Oh, God!  Right there…right there…don’t…stop!”

 

His movements intensified and soon her orgasm was spilling over.  She let go of his head and grabbed the edge of the table biting down on her lip to keep herself from screaming out.  He removed his fingers and slowed his movements as the last waves of her heat seeped out.  Once her body relaxed, he gently lapped up her juices, and then slid up her body searching for her mouth.  He pulled her up and kissed her deeply.  She wrapped her arms and legs around him.  He moved them carefully to the couch.  She came down on her knees on the couch while John stood before her removing his pants and boxers, never breaking their kiss.  She clung to him.  Her tongue moving in his mouth in a seductive dance.  She began kissing all the spots on his neck that, even though he didn’t remember, she knew would drive him crazy…and they did. He began to growl with passion.  He grabbed her up and quickly turned her around slamming her forward.  She held on tight to the back of the couch and tilted her ass up towards him.  Standing behind her, he quickly filled her smoldering cunt.  Gripping her hips tightly he pumped her back and forth on his engorged shaft.  The sound of their bodies slamming together filled the room. With each thrust, it felt as if he hit her right behind her naval causing slight whimpers to escape from her.  She tilted her hips more allowing him to dive into her even deeper.  He removed one hand from her hips and used it to knead her breast.  It was enough to send her over the edge.  Her hips began bucking against his thrust.  She leaned down and bit the back of the couch loudly moaning into the cushion.  Her lust shot down his cock soaking him completely.

 

“God, I love to feel you cum,” he said slowly moving in and out of her.

 

She collapsed onto the couch, and John took the opportunity to lay her down.  She instinctively threw one leg over the back of the couch exposing herself completely to him.  He climbed onto the couch and lean down to gently kiss her throbbing bundle of nerves.

The sensation of his hot lips on her made her quickly suck in a deep breath.

 

“John…John…,” she panted, “I need to feel you cum in me….now.”

 

He moved up her body briefly pausing to nip at her nipple through her camisole.  His mouth overtook hers quickly.  He breathed her in as her tongue came alive in his mouth.  He entered her slowly, taking time to feel every inch of him enter her.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and moved her other leg to rest on his lower back.  Her mouth moved to rest next to his ear.

 

She whispered, “You feel so good inside me.”

 

Her hot breath on his ear caused chills to spread over his body.  His pace sped up.  He could feel her heel dig into his back pushing him harder into her.  Her leg on the back of the couch drew back some allowing him better access to her.  He slammed into her hitting her back wall with each penetration.  Her thighs began to tremble again.  She began to pant and bit down on his shoulder.  Her walls sucked him in as her liquid heat rushed forward.  It was enough to send John over the edge.  With a few more deep thrust, his blazing seed exploded from his purple tip and overfilled her.  As the last pulses of his orgasm pumped into Marlena, she relaxed into the couch as her breath returned to a normal rate.  John kissed her a few more times on her chest and neck.

 

“Oooohhhh…  That felt sensational,” he exclaimed as he sat up.

 

Marlena was back in the present and rolled her eyes as she thought about John’s comment on winning her back.  The day had been a mistake.  She knew from the moment it happened.  She had just been through something traumatic and need to feel the closeness of….well….she was looking for the security that being near herJohn had always given her.  When she thought about it, every time she and John made love, it had been after a near death experience.   She shook her head in disgust with herself.

She was glad that she decided to move ahead with the divorce.

 

“And now…,” her voice faded away as she looked back down at the paper in her hand, “now what?”

 

She fell back into her sofa and closed her eyes.  The last month or so had been hard on her emotionally, but today was the worse.  She felt heavy….heavy with emotion and heavy with exhaustion.  She took in a deep breath and began drifting away….

 

“Come in,” Marlena responded to the knock at her office door.

 

“Hey, Marlena.”

 

“Oh, hi, Kayla,” she said setting her pen down and closing the file she was writing in, “I didn’t expect to see you for awhile.”

 

“Yeeeaaa.  Well, I had the lab put a rush on those tests,” she shifted uneasily.

 

Sensing Kayla’s apprehension Marlena got up from her desk and moved to stand face-to-face with her.

 

“Kayla?  What do they show?”

 

“Maybe we should sit,” she said gesturing to the sofa in Marlena’s office.

 

Marlena moved to sit down, “Just tell me.  Whatever it is…just tell me.”

 

Once they were seated, Kayla turned to face Marlena, “I don’t know how to say this, but the tests say….well, it looks like you…are….pregnant.”

 

Marlena’s mouth dropped open and her face drained of all color, “Pregnant?”

 

“Yes.  I had the lab run it twice.  It came back the same both times.”

 

“How can I be pregnant,” she asked choking back the tears.

 

“Marlena,” Kayla leaned forward and placed her hand on Marlena’s hand, “I know you and John have been having problems…,” her voice trailed off.

 

Marlena blinked realizing what Kayla was saying.  She shook her head, “I haven’t been with

anyone else if that’s what you’re asking.”  She stood wiping the tears from her face, “In fact, I’ve only been with John a couple of times.  Once after the plane crash, and once after Stefano attacked me.”

 

“Look.  I didn’t mean anything… I just…I just wanted you to know that I was here for you no matter what.”

 

Marlena sobbed, wrapping her arms around herself, “What am I going to do?  I’m filing for divorce from John.  I’m trying to move on with my life.”

 

Kayla rushed to Marlena’s side and held her, “Look.  You are strong.  You are the strongest woman I know.  You will get through this, and you don’t have to do it alone.  I’ll always be here for you.”

 

Marlena covered her face with her hands, “I can’t believe this is happening.”

 

“Before you get too worked up, let’s go downstairs and get you checked out.  I’ll do a full exam and ultrasound just to make sure the test didn’t give a false positive for some reason.”

 

“Yea,” Marlena perked up, “it could be a false positive, right?  I mean, that does happen.”

 

“It does.  Let’s go get you checked out,” she rubbed Marlena’s shoulder and directed her towards the door.

 

Once they were downstairs, Kayla took Marlena to a private exam room.

 

“Okay.  You put on the gown on, and I’ll go get your file,” she handed Marlena a gown and gently patted her hand, “It’s going to be alright.”

 

“Yea,” Marlena breathed.

 

Kayla left the room closing the door behind her.  Marlena broke down sobbing into the gown she held in her hands.

 

“Oh God,” she sobbed, “Oh God…oh God…oh God.  This can’t be happening.”

 

She took in a long, deep breath and composed herself.  She moved over to the changing area and changed into the gown.  When Kayla returned, Marlena was sitting on the table with a blanket draped over her legs.  Although she seemed calmed, tears kept sliding down her cheeks.  Kayla silently walked over handing her some tissues.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You ready?”

 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

“Okay.  Then lay on back,” she said helping Marlena lay down.

 

Kayla carefully put each of Marlena’s feet in the stirrups, and patted her on the knee before going to work on a standard exam.  Marlena lay looking up at the ceiling concentrating on her breathing in an attempt to keep from crying.

 

“So far so good.  How you doing?”

 

“Fine,” she choked out.

 

“Okay.  I’m just about done here.”

 

Marlena nodded slightly.

 

After a few more minutes, Kayla was done and stood up to meet Marlena’s eyes.

 

“Now, we can get a clearer picture with the internal ultrasound, but if you’d rather the abdominal one, we can do that.”

 

“Whatever,” she said wiping the tears that were running down the side of her face before placing her hand back on her chest.

 

Kayla spoke tenderly, “I’m going to use the internal ultrasound.  Since you’re older, we’ll

want to make sure we get a clear image of the baby.”

 

“That’s fine.  Let’s just do this.”

 

Kayla got up and dimmed the lights in the room.  She set up the machine and turned it to face only her.  Once she had everything set up, she turned her attention to Marlena.

 

She took in a deep breath, “Here we go.”

 

Kayla began maneuvering the wand and examining the images that appeared on the screen.   She took her time checking everything.  Marlena continued to stare straight at the ceiling trying to keep herself composed while Kayla was busy pushing various buttons and scanning different images.  Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, Kayla turned the monitor to face Marlena.  She closed her eyes tightly before turning to look on the screen.  When she opened her eyes, there in front of her, was the truth.

 

“According to the measurements, you are about seven weeks along.”

 

“Ohhhh…,” Marlena breathed in.

 

She stared as her baby kicked and stretched.  She watched as its heart fluttered away.  She perched up on her elbows to look closer.

 

“I’m pregnant.  I…really…am…pregnant.”

 

“Yea, Marlena, you are.”

 

“I was kinda hoping that the test was wrong.  I mean, it is a miracle, and I know I should be thankful,” she broke down.

 

Kayla turned off the ultrasound and covered Marlena’s legs before walking around to comfort her.

 

“Look.  This is a major shock.  It isn’t something you planned, and it’s definitely not coming at the best time in your life,” she took breath choosing her words carefully, “but you have family and friends that love you and will help you with anything you need.”

 

Marlena looked up through her tears, “But I just want my husband.”

 

“Oh.  I know.  I’m sorry.”

 

Marlena moved to get up from the table holding up a hand letting Kayla know she needed some space.

 

“You know what?  I can do this,” she said wiping off her face and getting down off the table while trying to remain covered, “I’m just overreacting.  I’m…I’m….just…shocked.  I thought my time of having babies was over, but apparently, God has other plans.  So, I’m going to go, and I’d really appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention this to anyone.”

 

“No. Of course.  Of course, I won’t say anything.  But are you sure you’re okay,” she asked reaching to touch Marlena’s hand.

 

Marlena quickly jerked her hand from Kayla’s reach, and without making any eye contact she moved over to the changing area, “I’m fine.  I’m just fine.”

 

Kayla knew Marlena was hurting, but also realized she needed her space to absorb the situation.  She moved to the door.  Just as she was about to step out she stopped and turned back to face Marlena.

 

“If you need anything, and I mean anything at all, you don’t hesitate to call me.”

 

Marlena nodded her acknowledgement never taking her eyes off the floor.  Kayla pause to speak again but decided against it exited the room.  Once the door closed, Marlena broke down again.  She didn’t want this pregnancy, and she hated herself for that.  She felt embarrassed by the whole situation.  She could only imagine what her children would say.

Sami had already expressed concerns about her and John being intimate and her being hurt.

 

“Oh, I’m sure Sami will have plenty to say about this,” she rolled her eyes as she composed herself.

 

She woke with a jerk still on her sofa.

 

“I must have been dreaming,” she said trying to focus her sleepy eyes.

 

She pushed herself up to sit up on the sofa when she noticed the piece of paper sitting in her lap.  She picked it up and remembered…she hadn’t been dreaming.  She stared at the ultrasound picture Kayla had left for her on the exam table.

 

“Oh, baby, I don’t know what to do,” she said gliding her finger over the outline of her tiny baby.

 

Her eyes moved past the picture in her hand to the one on her mantel.  She got up and walked over to it.  She had spent a lot of time talking to John’s picture…even after his resurrection she still spent many a nights talking to this very picture.

 

“Oh, John, I need you right now.  If I had you, the real you, this would be one of the happiest times of our life,” the tears came again, “You always wanted to have another baby, but we just never got around to it.  Although, we sure did practice enough.”  She couldn’t help but to smile with her last remark.

 

She took a deep breath and walked away from the fireplace.  She suddenly had a thought and turned to face John’s picture again.

 

“Maybe the reason this happened is to help you come back to me,” her train of thought directed to John’s picture, “What if…what if this is the trigger you need?  You always loved being a father, and I know you haven’t done so well with the kids now, but maybe this will be different.  I mean, you seem to connect with Claire,” she paced back and forth looking at her feet with each step, “Maybe I’m being foolish, but maybe I’m not.  Either way, I have to tell you.”

 

She pulled herself together and tested her voice to make sure she sounded like herself.  Shewalked over to the desk sitting down the ultrasound picture and picked up thephone quickly dialing.  While the phone rang she gazed down at the picture of her and John’s baby.  She straightened up when she heard John’s monotone on the other end of the line.

 

“John?  It’s Marlena.  I need to talk to you about something important.  Can you come by my place?”

 

 

She paced back and forth across her living room.  She was beginning to doubt her decision to tell John…she wasn’t ready for this.  She hadn’t had time to process it herself.  Her stomach was fluttering and her hands were shaking.  She checked her watch, John wouldn’t be there for a bit…maybe there was time to call him and tell him she didn’t need to speak to him after all.  She rested her hands on the mantel of the fireplace hanging her head and taking in a few slow, deep breaths.  When she looked up, her eyes locked on the picture of John…her John…the John she needed.  The tears came rushing forward.  She wanted to tell John, but she wasn’t ready…not yet.  The ringing of her cell phone brought her out of her trance.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Mom?”

 

“Belle?  Is that you?  I think the connection is bad,” she said raising her voice.

 

“Yea, it’s me.  We’re in the middle of the ocean somewhere, but I just suddenly felt like I needed to call you.  Are you okay?  You sound upset?”

 

Marlena pushed back the tears, “No, I’m fine.  I’m just fine.  I’m sooo happy to hear your voice.”

 

“Mom, I know you, something is bothering you.  Are you still having problems with Dad?”

 

Her mind raced, “Well, he’s still refusing to sign the divorce papers.”

 

“So you’re still going through with that?”

 

“Yes, I am.  I need to move on.  He’s not the man I love anymore.  I can’t keep putting myself through this anymore.  I have to separate myself from him…,” her voice trailed off as the tears came.  In that moment, she realized she was connected to him more than ever.

 

“Mom, tell me what’s really going on!  I can tell you’re upset.  Please, Mom, tell my why you’re crying,” Belle pleaded with her mother.

 

Barely above a whisper Marlena choked out, “I’m….I’m pregnant.”

 

Belle almost dropped the phone, “What?!  I think I misunderstood.  Did you just say that you are PREGNANT?!”

 

Marlena’s couldn’t stop her sobbing.  She felt like she had not only let herself down, but her daughter too.

 

“Yes,” she whimpered.

 

Belle was flooded with questions.  Her first impulse was to berate her mother with all the thoughts that were racing through her head, but as she took in a breath to speak, she could feel her mother’s desperation.  Her heart broke, and she instantly regretted her first reaction.

 

“Mom,” she said in a gentle tone, “are you sure?”

 

Marlena took in breath trying to calm herself, “yes,” she said in a much calmer tone, “I had an ultrasound done today.  I’m definitely pregnant.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“I’m in shock.  I didn’t plan for this to happen,” the tears came again, “I don’t know what to your Daddy would be so excited, but I’m not sure how this John will react.”

 

“It’ll be okay, Mom.  I promise.  I don’t know how, but everything will work out…it has to.”

 

“I would like to believe that, baby girl, but I just don’t see how this will ever be okay.”

 

“Mom, I’m going to tell Shawn we need to head home.”

 

“No, Belle, I won’t let you do that.”

 

“I feel like I should be there with you.”

 

Marlena smiled to herself, Belle had grown into such an amazing and caring woman, “I’m a big girl.  I’ll be fine.  It’s just that I just found out today, and I’m waiting for John to get here to tell him…I’m just emotional and stressed…and….scared.”

 

“I don’t want you to be- wait!  Dad’s on his way now?”

 

“Yea.  I called him just a few minutes before you called.”

 

“Are you sure you’re ready to tell him?”

 

“No.  I was actually rethinking telling him.”

 

“Mom, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think you should tell him.”

 

Marlena was surprised, “Why do you say that?  You think I should hide this from your father?”

 

“Mom, he’s not my father…not really.  You know this.  That’s why you’re divorcing him…” her voice trailed off.

 

“Belle?  What?  What are thinking?”

 

“I don’t think you can get divorced now.  I’m pretty sure you can’t get divorced until after the baby is born.”

 

Marlena had worked with enough patients going through divorces to know that her daughter was right.

 

“Shit!  I haven’t even been able to think straight since I found out, but you’re right,” she took in a ragged breath, “Well, John will happy about that,” her tone was one of frustration and anger.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You have nothing to be sorry about.  You were just stating a fact.”

 

“I wish I could hug you right now.”

 

Marlena’s eyes filled with tears, “I wish you could too,” she calmed herself back down, “Now, look here, you go and hug that precious baby girl of yours for me, and I’m going to try to compose myself before John gets here.”

 

“Okay.  I will.  You going to be okay?”

 

“Of course I will.  I just need time to absorb and figure out what I’m going to do.”

 

“So does that mean you’re not going to tell Dad yet?”

 

“I don’t know.  I don’t think I’ll know until he gets here.”

 

“I understand.  You’ll call me if you need me?”

 

“Yes, I will.”

 

“Promise?”

 

“Promise.”

 

“Cuz we can head back at anytime.  You just let me know.”

 

“I know, baby.  I love you.”

 

“I love you too, Mom.  Goodbye.”

 

“Bye.”

 

Marlena flipped her phone closed and help it close to her chest.  She closed in her eyes, took in a deep breath, and tried to push the tears away.  Her stomach was flip-flopping.  Her nerves were getting the best of her.   Her clothes were suffocating her.  She had to get out of them now.  She moved to her bedroom and pulled a set of silk pajamas from the drawer of her dresser.  She undressed and tossed her clothes onto the pile to go to the dry cleaners the next day.  As she removed her bra, her reflection caught her in the mirror.  She turned sideways examining her abdomen…she didn’t know how long she’d be able to hide this.  Maybe her eyes were playing tricks on her, but she swore she was already starting to get a little bump.  She rubbed her hand over it…her emotions mixing into a jumbled mess.  She felt happy and sad and disappointed and excited and embarrassed, but most of all,she felt scared.  She shook her head and moved away from the mirror.  She slipped on a comfortable, black camisole before putting on her deep purple pajamas.  The cool, loose silk felt wonderful on her skin.  She moved to the bathroom and ran her fingers through her hair.  She hadn’t noticed it before, but the brighter lights of her bathroom emphasized the dark circles that rested under eyes.  She let out a sigh, knowing that she needed to start take better care of herself…if not for her, for her baby.  She grabbed up a black hair band off the counter and made quick work of putting her hair up in a loose knot.  A casual glance at the toilet seemed to set off some kind of trigger, and she dropped to her knees emptying the contents of her stomach.   Her nausea seems to increase with each purge.  It was like everything she had kept locked inside was breaking free.  She was sobbing and vomiting completely lost in the torturous moment unaware of world around her.  Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, her stomach calmed.  She flushed the toilet as she took in a few breaths.  She stood slowly testing the sturdiness of her legs.  She moved to the sink and rinsed out her mouth as she splashed some water on her face.  When she looked at her reflection this time, it was worse than before.  Her eyes now looked sunken, her face was pale with a greenish tinge, and little red spots had appeared all around her eyes and down the side of her face.  “That’s attractive,” she said to her reflection.  She slowly moved out of the bathroom and bedroom, steadying herself against the wall as she moved.  She went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water.  As she moved into the living room, she was so startled that she sucked in a deep breath and dropped her glass.  John turned to face the completely scared Marlena.

 

“Whoa, Blondie.  You invited me, remember,” his monotone cool and calm.

 

“Not to just come into my home,” she yelled, “do you not know how to knock?”

 

“I did knock.  I even rang the doorbell, but there was no answer.  I was…was worried.”

 

Marlena stared at John for a moment.  Sometimes it did seem like her John was trying to peek out from under that cold shell that now made up the man that stood before her, but unfortunately, those moments were too small and too few….she couldn’t dwell on the past anymore.

 

“Well, as you can see, I’m fine,” she moved shakily to pick up her glass from the floor.

 

John moved to her, “No, you’re not fine.  From the look of your face and the smell of your breath, I’d say you’ve been sick.”

 

Her face instantly flashed red, “I’m fine.”

 

She stood quickly and headed towards the kitchen.  The motion made her vision blackout, but she worked hard to show no signs of distress.  Once, she figured she was out of John’s view, she rested against the wall giving her eyes a second to clear.  She returned to the living room with a towel in hand and made work of cleaning up the water.  John quickly scanned the room before sitting on the couch.  There was a long silence as she put all her focus onto the spot where the water had been.  She was stalling.

 

“I don’t think that spot can get any dryer,” John said almost sarcastic.

 

She looked at him annoyed knowing he was right.  She stood and left to living room to discard the towel.  When she returned, John could tell that she had something on her mind.

 

“So what did you need to talk to me about,” he asked with a crooked half smile.

 

He was trying to lighten the mood.  She smiled back, “Oh…ummmm…ya know, once I got to thinking about it, I realized that what I wanted to say wasn’t that important.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yea,” she sat down in a chair avoiding the couch, “really.  If you have someplace you need

to be, this can wait.”

 

John noted that she was wringing her hands, “No.  I don’t have anywhere to be.  You have my full attention, Blondie.”

 

“Oh.  Good,” she shifted her eyes from his gaze.

 

“You want to tell me what’s going on here?  You call me saying you need to speak to me

about something important.  You’re obviously sick, although you’re trying to deny it for whatever reason.  And now you’re stalling.  Did something happen?  Did Stefano threaten you or harm you?”

 

John was now on his feet.  He was agitated and scanning the room for any signs of a struggle.

 

“What?  No.  John, this is just between me and you.”

 

“Well, then spill, Blondie,” he said with a more relaxed tone, but his shoulders and jaw were still stiff.

 

“I just think that…..ummmm….that….” she stood and moved so that she was no longer facing him, “…maybe we should….ummmm….hold off on moving forward with the divorce.”

 

He was standing facing away from Marlena’s direction, but his head turned towards her after she spoke.

 

“What brought on this change of…heart,” he asked as he began moving thru the room away from her.

 

“I…just decided…that….er….I was being unfair.”

 

“In what way, Blondie?  I thought you needed to move on.”

 

“What I mean is I won’t push you to sign the papers anymore.  Take your time.”

 

“Hmmmm…  Interesting.  Just the other day you were all in my face about wanting to be rid of me.”

 

“Look,” she looked down at her hands wringing them, “I never said I wanted to be rid of you.  I just need to let you be you.”

 

“And who I am, isn’t your husband,” he said has he mindlessly fingered the papers on her desk.

 

“No.  It’s not.”

 

“So you really don’t love me anymore,” he asked with a hint of hurt in his voice.

 

“I will ALWAYS love John,” she retorted spinning around to face him.

 

Her heart sank and her head began to swim.  The ultrasound picture was setting right in

front of him.  “Oh God, he’s going to see it,” she thought to herself as the room started fading away.  She saw nothing but black, John’s voice echoed in the distant, and then she felt her body hit the ground hard.

 

The next thing Marlena knew was that there was a bright light before her.  It was Kayla shining a tiny flashlight into her eyes.  She blinked trying to focus.

 

“Where am I,” she asked weakly.

 

Kayla spoke softly, “You’re in your bed.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“You fainted.”

 

“I fainted?  Why?”

 

“Well, I’d assume it was because of your blood pressure.  It was through the roof when I got here.  Do you remember what you were doing when you passed out?”

 

Marlena rubbed her head and closed her eyes trying to remember what happened.

 

“I was talking with John, and I was upset…” she was trying to focus in on what had made her so upset when the light came on, “He saw the picture!  I wasn’t ready to tell him, and

he saw the ultrasound picture,” she exclaimed as tears filled her tired eyes.

 

“Marlena, you’ve got to calm down!”

 

“Kayla, I’m not ready for him to know yet,” tears streaked her face as she caught her breath.

 

Taking Marlena’s hand in hers, she spoke gently, “From what I can tell, he doesn’t know anything.”

 

Marlena perked up, “What?”

 

“He was clueless as to why you are sick or why you fainted.  He thinks you must have the flu or something.”

 

“Is he still here?”

 

“Yes, he’s waiting in the living room.”

 

Marlena became agitated again, “Then he could still find out!  He’s out there roaming around alone!”

 

Kayla grabbed Marlena by the shoulders, “You have got to calm down!  You can’t keep putting this amount of stress on you or the baby!”

 

“Okay, okay,” Marlena defensively put up her hands, “okay, I’m calm.  Just please go and make sure he hasn’t seen the picture.”

 

She let go of Marlena, “Okay.  I will.  But I really do need you to calm down.  Do I want me to give you something to help you sleep?”

 

“No, thank you.  I’ll be fine.  Just make sure he doesn’t find out.”

 

“I’ll do what I can, but you can’t keep putting yourself through this in your condition,” she said sternly.

 

Just then the door opened completely.   John stepped into the room with his hands locked behind his back, “And what condition is that, Dr. Johnson,” he asked as he stared intently at Marlena.

 

 

Both Marlena and Kayla jumped when the deep tone of John’s voice filled the room.  Marlena pushed herself up and sat with her arms wrapped around her knees.

 

“John, I didn’t realize you were still here.”

 

“Where would I go, Blondie.  You are, after all, still my wife.”

 

The way he said wife made her skin crawl, “Still…”

 

“Still what?  You are my wife, and I told you I was going to make sure you were okay from now on.  So,” he turned his attention to Kayla, “what is this condition you speak of, Dr. Johnson?”

 

Kayla shifted uneasily as Marlena shot her a pleading look.

 

“Ah, well, her blood pressure is through the roof.  Her stress levels have been so high

lately.  She needs to slow down and take better care of herself, so we can take care of the issue now; otherwise, there will be serious repercussions later.”

 

John lifted his chin as he took in the information.  He thought that Kayla was not giving him all the facts.  Marlena gave Kayla crooked smile as way to say thank you and that she heard her warning loud and clear.  That small gesture confirmed John’s suspicion that he wasn’t getting all the details.

 

“And that’s it?  There’s nothing else wrong with Marlena?”

 

“No.  There’s nothing else wrongwith her,” Kayla responded.

 

John knew she was lying but decided not to push it….right now.  “Good to here,” he boomed.

 

“Look,” Kayla spoke as she gathered her things, “I’m going to let you two talk.  Marlena,” she took Marlena’s hand in hers, “I’m ordering you to some bed rest for the next two days. Call me if you need me.”

 

Marlena and Kayla hugged as John walked around the bed.  He paused for a moment staring at the spot on the floor where he had found Marlena.  His mind flashed to her lifeless body and the fear he felt when he thought he might lose her bubbled to the surface.  He shook his head trying to shake the memory.

 

“Thank you,” Marlena said to Kayla as she left the room.

 

Marlena turned her attention to John.  She noticed the strange look on his face.  She wondered what he was thinking.  She wondered what he’d say if he found out they were having a baby.  She let out a deep breath…she’d find that out sooner or later, and right now, she wanted later.

 

“John,” she said tentatively, “thank you for…well…calling Kayla and waiting around to make sure I was okay.  That was….kind….of you.

 

He moved to right next to the bed, still not comfortable enough to sit on it next to her, “I told you…I may not be the guy you fell in love with…and you may not love me anymore…but I can’t lose you.”

 

Her eyes filled with tears.  Why was he doing this to her?  Before, walking away was so easy, but now he was pulling her back in and it was breaking her heart.

 

“John, I don’t know if I can handle you hovering over me right now.  I appreciate your concern, but right now, I just need to be alone.”

 

“Well, that just won’t work.”

 

“What,” she asked completely confused.

 

“Dr. Johnson said you were to stay in bed and get some rest for the next two days, and you can’t do that while you are here all alone.  I want you to come back to the mansion with me,” he continued before she could protest, “I will stay away from you if that’s what you want, but there you will at least have servants to take care of you.  Plus, Sami is there.  I’m sure she’ll want to help you.”

 

Marlena felt her pulse begin to race.  She tried to calm herself by closing her eyes and taking in a few deep breaths.  John noticed this and became concerned.  He laid his hand on hers.

 

She looked up at him and smiled, “I’m okay.  I appreciate the offer…really, I do.  But I can’t go back to the mansion.  I will be fine here.  All I’m going to do is sleep and order in some take out if I get hungry.  Really, I’ll be fine.”

 

John wasn’t happy with her answer, but he knew there was no point in arguing, “Well, if you’re sure.”

 

“I am.  I tell you what, I promise to call you if I need anything.”

 

“That sounds good.  I’d…I’d like that,” he smiled.

 

She smiled back, “Good.”

 

“You need anything before I go?”

 

“No.  I think I’m good.”

 

“Are you sure?  I could make you some tea or something before I leave.”

 

She hated to admit it, but some tea sounded really nice.  Plus, it would settle her stomach which was starting to get a bit sour.  “Actually, some tea would be great.”

 

“Then tea you will have.  I’ll be right back.”

 

Marlena watched as he exited the room.  She knew that now was her chance.  She had to get the ultrasound picture before he had a chance to see it.  She slowly crept out of her bed and tip-toed down the hall stopping when she reached the door to the kitchen.  She held her breath as she peeked into the kitchen…John’s back was to the door.  She quickly and quietly moved passed the kitchen, only letting out her breath once she was in the living room.  She went straight to the desk.  She knew the picture was there before….but it wasn’t there now.  Her breathing became frenzied as she began searching through the papers.  Suddenly, John’s voice rang out from behind her.

 

“What are you looking for?”

 

“Shit,” she thought.  “Oh…well…I was just…”

 

“No reason to stammer, Blondie.  I know exactly what you’re doing.”

 

Her heart hit the floor, and she was going to be sick.  He did know.  He was just waiting for her to say something.  The tears were forming again.

 

John moved to right behind her, “I’m pretty sure that when Dr. Johnson said you needed rest, she didn’t mean you could sit in bed and work on patient files.”

 

Marlena’s eyes became as big as saucers.  He didn’t know!  She quickly pulled herself together.  Wiping the tears from her eyes, she turned to face him, “Well, I just thought since I couldn’t see patients, that maybe I could get caught up on my paperwork,” she smiled a big smile after she was done speaking.

 

“That’s not going to happen,” John said sternly, “Now, get back in bed.”

 

Marlena took in a breath as she walked past John.  As she moved towards the hallway, she noticed her cell phone on the table next to the couch.  There was a small red light flashing on it signaling she had a message waiting.  She turned and flashed John another big smile as she casually grabbed her phone without him seeing.  She didn’t know why she felt like she had to hide the fact she was getting her cell phone, but she did.  John followed her into her bedroom and made sure she was settled.  She had everything she needed within reach…tea, book, glasses, remote for the T.V., and the phone.

 

“Okay.  Call me if you need me,” he said.

 

“I will,” she responded.

 

“Okay,” he said uneasily.  He wanted to say more but didn’t.

 

“John, thank you again,” she said with a smile that made her tired eyes sparkle.

 

“Anytime,” he said almost bashful, “I’ll check on you tomorrow.”

 

“I’ll be here.”

 

And with that John left.  Marlena waited until she heard the door to her townhouse shut before pulling out her cell phone from under her pillow.  She flipped it open to see that there was one text message waiting.  When she opened it, she saw it was from Kayla.

 

Ultrasound is in the top right drawer of your desk.  Get some rest.  Call me if you need ANYTHING.

 

She let out a deep sigh of relief.  She had to figure out when and how she was going to tell John, but right now, she had to take care of herself.  She got situated in her bed, and with her tea in hand, she decided to catch up on the episodes of ‘House’ she had DVR’d.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

John was in his car heading home, and he wasn’t happy about it.  He knew that Kayla and Marlena were hiding something from him, and he was going to find out.  His mind raced.  Could it be some kind of side effect from the toxins Stefano injected her with?  Or did she have an illness not even related to that?  His hand gripped the steering wheel tighter and tighter.  What if she is dying?  “Why else would she let up on the divorce,” he asked himself.  Fear started to grip him.  His head started to throb.  He pulled onto the side of the road.  He hit the dashboard with his fist.  He should’ve stayed with her.  He should’ve insisted.  He let out a deep sigh as he rubbed his temples.  “But she wanted to be alone,” he told his reflection in the rearview mirror.  The whole situation didn’t feel right to him.  His jaw clenched as he grabbed up his phone.  He shifted his position when he heard the “hello” at the other end of the line.

 

“Dr. Johnson, John Black here.  I need to talk to you.”

 

“Okay.  I’ve got a few minutes now…what can I help you with,” she asked trying her best to sound relaxed.

 

“I need you to stop bullshitting me, and tell me exactly what’s going on with Marlena,” he spoke with purpose.

 

“John, you know I told you all I could back at the townhouse.  Anything else you want to know about her health, you’ll have to obtain from her.”

 

“She’s my wife!  I have the right to know what’s wrong with her.”

 

“That’s not my place to say.”

 

“So there is something else wrong besides her blood pressure?”

 

“I didn’t say that!”

 

“But you’re not denying it either.  Tell me!  Does this have something to do her attack?  I have to know!  I can’t lose her!!”

 

Kayla realized that this wasn’t about just wanting to be in-the-know and controlling the situation.  He was actually scared to be without her.  She felt for him.  “John,” she said lightly, “I promise you, she isn’t dying…not even close.  She just needs to lower her stress levels and get some rest.  That’s all.  Now, I’ve told you all I can.”

 

“So she’s really not dying,” John asked, his voice shaking slightly.

 

“No, John, she’s not,” she spoke with tenderness.

 

“Well, that’s good to know.  Thank you.  Ya know, for…coming to take care of her today.  I appreciate that.”

 

“No thanks needed.  I’d do anything for Marlena…she’s done so much for me.”

 

“She is an amazing woman.”

 

“She is.  Ummmm…. John, how are you doing?  Are you still having those headaches?”

 

John shifted uneasily and his tone became rigid, “Maybe.”

 

“I wish you’d let me check you out.”

 

“I’m not ready for that.  Thank you again for your help.”

 

And with that he snapped his phone closed ending the conversation.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marlena had been back to work for a couple of weeks now.  And for the most part she was feeling more and more like her old self…well, minus the fact that some of her pants were no longer able to be buttoned.  She found that when she was alone…reading in her bed or driving in her car or a quiet moment in her office…she was able to accept her pregnancy.  She even found herself getting a little excited, but then she would see a friend or a co-worker or, even worse, John, and she would instantly feel sad and alone and ashamed.  She yawned as she finished up working on her last case file for the day.  Her cell phone rang as she was closing the file on her desk.  She looked to see who was calling her…it was John.

 

“Ugh.  Not now, John,” she said as she hit the ignore button on her phone.

 

She had done a pretty good job of avoiding him since returning to work…a fact that hadn’t been missed on him.  She knew why he was calling.  She had a follow-up appointment with Kayla earlier in the day, and she was sure John was aware of that and wanted to know what Kayla had said.  She stood from her desk and stretched back holding her hands on her lower back.  She couldn’t wait to get home, heat up some left over Chinese, soak in a warm bath, and hit the sack.  Her eyelids were already drooping.  She grabbed up her belongings and headed out her office.  She locked her door and was scanning her arms making sure she had everything as turned around and ran into someone blocking her path.  She was so startled that she dropped her briefcase spilling files all over the floor.  When she looked up at her obstruction, she left out groan.

 

“John!  What are doing here?”

 

He bent down to help pick up her papers, “I didn’t mean to scare you, Blondie.  You seem to be avoiding me, and I want to know why.”

 

Her mouth fell open, and she suddenly had a panic that maybe he knew more than he was letting on.  He handed her files back to her which she quickly stuffed into her briefcase.  She wanted out of there NOW.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, John.  I haven’t been avoiding you,” she said as she tried to push past him.

 

He moved in front of her, “You’re trying to avoid me right now.”

 

“No, I’m not.  I’m just not in the mood for this.”

 

“Look here, Blondie,” he grabbed her arm as she walked around him, “I may not be your favorite person, but I would think you, of all people, would know that everyone deserves a second chance.”

 

Marlena looked down exasperated.  She knew he was right on so many levels.  She had been avoiding him, and he did deserve another chance…after all, she did believe that people could change, but she couldn’t take the heartbreak anymore.  She finally looked into his eyes.

Tears filled hers.

 

“John, I know you’re trying to change.  I know you want to protect me.  And I really do appreciate all that you’ve done for me here recently.  But I also know that you can’t love me.  You can’t remember me.  You don’t remember us.  Those are the things that won’t change…that can’t change, and I can’t keep pretending like they will.  I need time. I need space.  I need to mourn the loss of my John again.  I need to be able to move on.”

 

With that, she turned and left the waiting room of her office before John had a chance to speak.  She was shaking all over.  She moved quickly and with purpose.  She had to get out of there.  She hated herself for lying to him…well, for half-lying to him.  She did feel all those things, or at least, she had.  Now, with this new life coursing through her, she held new hope for John…for them, but she still wasn’t ready to tell him.  She still needed more time to come to terms with the whole situation.  She was so afraid that John…this John…might reject her and the baby out of fear.  She wasn’t sure she could handle that.

 

John stood there in Marlena’s waiting room.  He was confused.  She had just said there was no rush on the divorce…he thought he still might have a chance.  He was angry, and he was hurt.  The more her words replayed in his head, the more certain he became that something wasn’t right.  He knew there was something more going on here.  She was hiding something, and by damn, he was going to find out what it was.

 

As soon as Marlena walked in the door of her townhouse, she flipped open her cell phone and promptly dialed a number.  The phone rang a few times before the voicemail picked up.

 

“Dr. Anderson, it’s Dr. Marlena Evans.  I’ve reconsidered your invitation.  I’d love to attend the ‘Philadelphia Psychology Convention.’”

 

 

To the passengers around her, Marlena looked as though she was just enjoying the view from the Boeing 757, but she was too lost her in own thoughts to notice anything around her.  For the two weeks before her trip, she had managed to avoid John for the most part.  Of course, when she told him she was leaving for a psychology convention, he was livid.  He was worried about her safety.  After all, Stefano was after her and no one knew where exactly he was.  She wondered if he would have been even more concerned if he knew she was carrying their child.  She’d find out what he thought about that soon enough.  As she thought about telling John, she rubbed the bump that was rather visible when she was sitting.  Her two weeks in Philadelphia had been wonderful.  It was just what she needed.  She was away from everything that reminded her of anything.  In a place, where pretty much no one knew her or what had been going on in her life.  She was able to just relax and enjoy herself.  There were a few acquaintances that she knew from other conventions and such, but they knew nothing of her husband’s passing or return.  To them, she was just still happily married to a loving, supportive man and expecting another child with him.  She found herself very comfortable telling these strangers of her surprise pregnancy.  She happily bought some maternity clothes during her free time.  She laughed at how much maternity clothes had changed since she was last pregnant with Belle.  Before, maternity pants had a massive cloth panel that covered your entire belly.  Now, most pants were made to go under your belly.  And the clothes were so much cuter and didn’t scream, “Look at me! I’m pregnant!”  In fact, she was wearing a pair of maternity jeans right now that even had a button and zipper…something unheard of during her past pregnancies.  The captain’s voice booming voice over the intercom announcing their decent to the Salem International Airport sent a wave nerves down Marlena’s spine.  She was about to be back to reality.  On her flight home, she had planned how she was going to tell John about the baby, and had decided that telling him over dinner somewhere public was the best way to go.  She still wasn’t sure what his reaction would be.  She desperately hoped that this would bring out the old John from wherever he was buried within this new John, but she knew very well that it may very well drive him away.  As she stepped off the plane and headed to the baggage claim, she thought to herself, “All I have to do is keep this hidden for a few more days.  Once John knows, I’ll no longer have to keep this to myself.”  She knew after the initial shock, her friends would be supportive…and she really needed that right now.

 

She drove home on autopilot.  Although her trip had been relaxing, the traveling itself had worn her completely out.  She was thankful she had scheduled a couple of extra days off for after her return.  She parked her car and grabbed her bags.  As she entered the lobby, she saw John standing there waiting for her.  “Crap,” she thought to herself.  She just really wanted get into her PJ’s and order in some takeout.  He walked to meet her and quickly took her larger bag from her hand.

 

“Hello, Blondie,” he said once he had her bag, and they were walking to the elevator.

 

“Hello, John.  I’m surprised to see you here,” she responded trying to play nice.

 

“Well, I wanted to see how your trip went, and I figured you’d be tired and hungry,” he raised his hand that wasn’t holding her luggage to show that he had brought takeout.

 

She smiled at John…he was trying so hard to be a better man.  Since Marlena was the only one with a free hand, she pushed the ‘up’ button once they reached the elevator.  They made small talk as they entered the elevator and rode up to her townhouse.  Once they reached her door, Marlena unlocked it and John waited for her to enter first.

 

“Just leave that bag there by the door.  I’ll unpack it tomorrow.”

 

John set the bag down and then turned to shut the door behind him.  “Why don’t you go put on something more comfortable, and I’ll go plate the food up.”

 

“Sounds good,” she smiled.

 

She went into her bedroom and found the biggest, baggiest sweats she could find to put on.  She then moved into her bathroom and found a hair clip to loosely pull up all her hair.  When she returned to the living room, John had plates full of Chinese takeout and little white cartons laid out on the coffee table.  She smiled as she flashed back to time long ago when he had brought her Chinese food.

 

“What’s that smile about?”

 

She shook her head as she came back to the present, “Oh, I was just thinking about a time when you brought me Chinese food and we ate sitting at the coffee table.”

 

“And what made this time so special?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, I would think that there was more than one time we ate Chinese food like this before.  So what made that time so different that you remember it so clearly?”

 

Marlena thought for a moment, “I dunno why I remember it so well.  I guess…I guess because we were just friends then.  Or at least, that’s what we were trying to be.  It was after our affair and Belle’s paternity had been found out.  I had, in a way, decided that I deserved to be alone, and that I definitely didn’t deserve your love.  You had yourself convinced you were in love with Kristen.  Deep down, we both knew the truth, but we also knew that, in that moment, we couldn’t be together.  So many people were hurt by what we had done.”

 

She sat down next to John still lost in the memory and the pain of that time.

 

“We sure have had a…interesting…history, haven’t we?”

 

“You could say that,” she laughed.

 

The conversation over dinner was comfortable and casual.  John told Marlena about what she had missed while gone, which really wasn’t much.  She was surprised, though, when John told her how Ava had been found only a few cities away.

 

“From what I understand, she won’t be going anywhere anytime soon.”

 

“And what do you think about that?”

 

John kinda shrugged his shoulders, “I’m not sure.”

 

“Well, you two were…close.”

 

“Yes, but she wasn’t important to me.  She was just a person that validated me…accepted me for who I was without any expectations for me to be something I wasn’t.”

 

“But you didn’t have any feelings for her?”

 

“Blondie, I don’t have any feelings period.”

 

“I don’t think that’s 100% true.”

 

John shifted uncomfortably, “Well, either way, she won’t be able to come back and be a problem for us…or anyone else in Salem.”

 

Marlena took in John’s reaction.  Anytime feelings or emotions were mentioned he became uncomfortable, and she wondered if that was because he was actually starting to feel things.  After all he’d been through, she was fairly certain he wouldn’t know how to process his emotions.  They finished the rest of their meal in relative silence.  As Marlena dipped into a carton of noodles, she noticed that John was smiling at her.

 

“What,” she asked cocking her head.

 

“Nothing.  It’s just that if I had known you would be so hungry, I would have gotten more food,” he let out a half-chuckle.

 

“Oh,” she said looking at her plate, “well, you know how airplane food is.  It looked so bad that I just past on it.”  Her face flushed red.  That was half true.  The food on the plane did look bad, but she ate every bit of it.

 

After they finished eating, John insisted on Marlena relaxing while he cleaned up the dishes and made her some tea.  She sat on the couch and thought about all the effort he really was putting in to be this new, nicer guy.  She wondered now more than ever if finding out about his baby would bring out her John from wherever he was locked away inside that body.  He was making such strives on his own…really putting forth the effort to be a kinder, gentler man.  Maybe she would tell him tonight.  It had been such a nice evening, and John seemed to be in a good mood.  Maybe tonight would be the perfect time.  She hated hiding this from everyone…especially her close friends; the ones she knew would be surprised but completely supportive of her.  She could hear John busy in her kitchen.  She needed a distraction.  She decided to check her messages and mail while she waited for John’s return to the living room.  She walked over to the desk and hit the play button on her machine.  Since most knew she was away, there were only a few messages waiting to be heard.  As the first message played, she moved to the table next to the door where her mail from the last two weeks sat.  She was only half listening to the voices on her machine as she was busy dividing the mail between that that was important and that that was junk.  The last message played…

 

“This message is for Marlena Evans.  This is Dr. Wright’s office calling to confirm your appointment for your prenatal check-up on Friday.”

 

As soon as what was being said registered, Marlena made a mad dash to stop the message from playing, but she couldn’t hit the right button in her panic.  After the message played, she slowly turned to see John standing just inside the living room holding a tray of steaming tea.  He moved slowly to set the tray down on the closest table, confusion painted across his face.

 

“Prenatal check-up,” he said stiffly.

 

Marlena’s eyes filled with tears, “John…”

 

He moved towards her.  “Prenatal check-up,” he boomed.

 

“John, I’m sorry.  This isn’t how I wanted you to find out,” her voice shook as she spoke.

 

John moved closer to her.  His face was red with fury.  “You’re pregnant,” he asked in an even louder voice.

 

“Yes.”

 

John noticed she was unconsciously pulling her already baggy sweatshirt away from her body.  He instantly snatched the bottom of it up revealing her small, but definite, baby bump.  He jerked his hand back and stepped away from her.

 

“How far along are you,” he yelled.

 

Marlena stared at the ground.  Barely above whisper she said, “About 13 weeks.”

 

“You knew about this before you left town, didn’t you?!”

 

“Just let me explain.  Please, John!”  Her tears were flowing freely now.

 

“What?!  Let you explain how you ended up knocked-up?!”

 

“John, please…”

 

The vein in John’s temple was pulsing now.  “Please what?!  Forgive you for fucking around?!”

 

Marlena’s tears stop.  Her breath caught in her throat.  She blinked trying to understand what he just said.  “What?”

 

“So what, did you get lonely or are you just a slut?  Oh wait, let me guess.  Your ex Roman was probably more than happy to help you out.  Did he comfort you with his dick?”

 

“John, I don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

 

“You know, I’ve been told that we always had a very physical relationship…that we were so in love that we couldn’t control our passion for each other, but really, in the end…you just like to get laid!!  Love had nothing to do with it apparently!!”

 

Marlena brought her arm back and swung hard looking to make contact with John’s face, but he caught her hand in midair.  John had crossed a line.  Marlena’s eyes filled with fire as she spoke.

 

“Don’t.  You.  Dare.”

 

“Did I hit a nerve, Blondie?”

 

“You know nothing about the love we shared!  It bound us in ways you can’t even begin to understand!  John was my everything…IS my everything!  We never had sex, we made love, and it was deeper and more passionate than you can even begin to imagine.  You thought what happened in the office was nice?  It was nothing…NOTHING…compared to what we had before!!”

 

John stepped back for a moment, “So what happened then?  You just got so lonely that you just happened to fall into the arms of Roman?”

 

“John, I haven’t slept with Roman!  The only man I’ve slept with is YOU!!”

 

Quietly John said, “I find that hard to believe.”  He grabbed up his jacket and headed towards the door.

 

Marlena followed behind him sobbing, “This is your baby!  This is YOUR baby!”

 

John slammed the door shut just as Marlena reach it.  She fell to her knees sobbing.  This isn’t the reaction she was wanting.  She hated herself for not telling him sooner.  Maybe if she had actually told him instead of him finding out this way, it would have been easier for him to accept.  Her heart was racing her head was beginning to throb.  She stood slowly but it didn’t stop her head from swirling and stomach turning.  She moved over to her desk.  She picked up the phone and quickly dialed a number.  When she heard the voice at the other end, she unsuccessfully tried to compose herself.

 

“Kayla.  It’s Marlena.”

 

“Marlena, are you okay?”

 

“Ummmm…” she whimpered, “No.  I’m not feeling very well.  Do you think you could come by?”

 

“I’ll be there in 20 minutes,” she said in a rushed tone.

 

“Thank you.”

 

She hung up the phone.  She held it close to her for a moment.  She needed to make another phone call, and it was one she was dreading.  She took in a deep breath and dialed the phone calming herself as the phone rang.  Finally, after what felt like forever, the familiar voice answered.

 

“Hey, Roman.  It’s me.”

 

“Hey, Doc!  I forgot you were getting back in town today.”

 

“Yea, I’m home.”

 

“How was the trip?”

 

“It was good.  Look, I need to talk to you about something,” she said in a more serious tone.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

She took in a deep breath, “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to put it out there.”

 

“Doc, you’re scaring me.  Whatever it is, just tell me.”

 

“I’m pregnant.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yea, that’s what I said too.  But that’s not really what I called to tell you.”

 

“There’s more?”

 

“Ummmmm… yea.  Well, you see, I didn’t tell John right away, and he found out by accident.”

 

“So how mad was he?”

 

“Extremely.  And he seems to think I didn’t tell him because it wasn’t his,” she quickly added, “Of course, it is.”

 

“I never doubted that,” he said sincerely.  He knew Marlena well enough to know that she didn’t have casual sex.  Plus, she was very dedicated and loyal to John…even this John.  She’d had only cheated on John once, and that was a very extreme situation…if she had been herself, it would have never happened.

 

“Well, he did in a big way.”

 

“So what do you need me to do?”

 

“Oh, I don’t need anything from you.  I just wanted to let you know because he…well, he seems to think that…that you’re the father.”  She kind of flinched once she got the words out.

 

“What?!”

 

“I know.  I know.”

 

“Why does he think I’m the father?”

 

“I dunno.  He’s always been suspicious of our friendship, so I guess he just assumed I’d turn to you for…”

 

Roman let out a sigh, “That’s just crazy!”

 

“I know.  But I thought you should know.”

 

“Well, thanks for the heads up.”

 

“You’re welcome.  And I’m really sorry about this.”

 

“Doc?  Are you happy about the baby?”

 

She placed her hand on her belly.  “At first, I wasn’t sure.”

 

“And now?”

 

“I am.  I really am,” a smile crept across her face as she spoke.

 

“Then I’m very happy for you,” he said, his voice full of kindness.

 

“Thank you.  I’ll talk to you soon.”

 

“You bet!  Bye, Doc.”

 

“Bye.”

 

She moved over to the couch to wait for Kayla to arrive.  She was feeling better, but thought it was a good idea to have Kayla check her out anyway…just to be on the safe side.  She closed her eyes and took in a few deep breaths to relax rubbing her belly all the while.  With her head resting on the back of the couch, the stillness of the quiet room took over and she began to doze.

 

 

By the banging on his door, he had a pretty good idea who was on the other side.  His suspicions were quickly confirmed.  Before he even had a chance to open the door completely, he felt a searing pain engulf his right cheek.  The door opened completely as his visitor stepped into the room.  Roman stepped back with the force of the blow and quickly raised his hand up without ever looking up at his guest.

 

“John!  You’ve got it all wrong!!”

 

John stopped moving towards Roman, but kept his fists up.  “So she called and warned you that I was coming?  How sweetis that?”

 

“Yea, she called me,” Roman got into John’s face, “She called me because she was extremely upset that her husband thought she was carrying another’s man baby.  She called me because she was worried you’d do something stupid since you are obviously not thinking clearly.”

 

John’s fists dropped.  The boldness of Roman made him second guess himself.  Maybe Blondie had been telling him the truth.  Roman moved over to the couch and sat down checking his hand to see if his cheek was bleeding.  John followed Roman and sat down in a chair opposite the couch.

 

“Well, why wouldn’t I assume she fell into your arms for comfort?  I mean, from what I understand, that happened before while we were married.”

 

 

Roman let out a laugh.  “You really are clueless, aren’t you?”

 

“What is that suppose to mean,” John asked shifting in his seat.

 

“So you know that Marlena and I slept together while you two were married.  But do you know what was going on when that happened?”

 

John shifted yet again, “Uh, no, I don’t.”

 

Roman leaned forward and looked John dead in the eye, “John, Marlena loves you more than any man she’s ever loved before.  Yes, she and I shared a deep love, and we do still care about each other very much.  We have children together, but you have always been, without a doubt, her soulmate.  You two share a bond that I can’t explain.  That one time we were together while you two were married was an extreme and desperate situation,” he threw up his hands and flopped back on the couch, “Hell!  I don’t even know where to begin.”

 

“Try the beginning,” John said with a stiff jaw.

 

“Alright, I will.  You better make yourself comfortable.  You’re going to be here for a bit.  Now, let’s see what you do know.  Anyone tell you about the time Marlena was a serial killer?”

 

John perked up.  “Marlena?  A serial killer?”

 

“So maybe you don’t know everything…”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

She woke up to the sound of banging on her door.  As she tried to open her eyes, she heard Kayla’s voice on the other side of the door.

 

“Marlena!  Are you okay?!  Marlena!”

 

Marlena pulled herself up from the couch, her head throbbing and dizzy.  She made her way to the door as the banging on the other side grew louder and more urgent.  She opened the door rubbing her head with her free hand and her eyes only half open.  Kayla instantly moved to help Marlena support her own weight.  She was pale and her eyes were red.  She helped Marlena moved to the couch.

 

“Marlena, tell me what’s going on,” she said in very calm but serious tone.

 

Marlena was still trying to shake herself from the grogginess, “John was here,” her voice held no strength, “He found out about the baby by accident.  He’s livid.  Thinks I cheated on him.”

 

The tears start to fall again.

 

Kayla quickly hugged her, “He’s just shocked.  Give him some time,” she leaned back to look Marlena in the face, “Tell what’s going on with you.  How are you feeling?”

 

“Ummm….,” Marlena licked her lips and squinted her eyes as if trying to focus on something in the distance, “I feel lightheaded and dizzy.  Kinda shaky and a little nauseated.”

 

“Okay.  Let’s check you out.”

 

Kayla opened her bag and went to work taking Marlena’s vitals.  Marlena could tell by Kayla’s expression, she wasn’t happy.  Marlena worked to calm herself down.  She knew there was nothing she could do about John.  Right now she needed to focus on her and her baby.

 

Kayla let out a sigh, “Your heart rate and blood pressure are both high.  Your blood pressure is A LOT higher than I’d like.  To the point that I’d like to admit you into the hospital, “she saw Marlena start to protest and cut her off, “Just for 24 hours.  I need to monitor you and the baby.”

 

Marlena tried to stay calm, “Kayla, I can’t go into the hospital.  No one knows I’m pregnant.  Please!  I can’t!”

 

Kayla took in a deep breath, “Let me check the baby’s heart rate.  If….IF….I feel the baby is stable, I’ll let you stay home on bed rest.”

 

“Thank you!  Thank you,” Marlena said grabbing Kayla’s hand and squeezing it.

 

“Don’t get too excited.  I said you can stay here, but I will stay with you for at least 24 hours.  I will go pick up an EKG, fetal monitor, and BP monitor, and we will monitor you and the baby closely.  I have a feeling this is all just from the stress of tonight, but we need to make sure that something more serious isn’t going on.”

 

“That’s fine with me.  But don’t you need to get back home tonight?”

 

“Steve can handle it.  Now, lay down.  Let me take a listen to your little one here.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“…so after ALL that, she and I ended up locked in a room of a castle chained together.”

 

“Wait.  You were chained together?”

 

John was now up and pacing across Roman’s living room.  Roman had an ice pack pressed firmly to his already black cheek.

“Yea.  Andre had us shackled together with about two feet of chain.  Initially, we didn’t know who had or hadn’t been rescued…if we were the only ones in the castle…we were scared and only had each other.”

 

“And that’s when you two fell into each other’s arms?”

 

“No.  We ended up being tortured.  Andre put a TV in our room.  It showed us bits of our lives that were continuing on without us.  Marlena knew you were alive.  You had been severely injured, but you were alive.  She knew you’d be looking for her…that you’d do whatever it would take to find her or her body.”

 

Roman stopped.  Those memories were ones he tried to erase several times.  He always felt that Marlena had suffered so much more during that time than he had, and he could remember very clearly the look of utter despair that painted her face the day they saw John and Kate having sex.  He shook himself back to the now and to John who was now staring out the window into the darkness of night.

 

“So what happened?”

 

“You moved on.”

 

John turned to make eye contact with Roman, “I?  I moved on?”

 

“You and Kate had been close friends and had been working together to find us.  One day…after a month or so…the TV in our room came on, and there it was.  You and Kate having sex.  It was then that Marlena knew…”

 

“Knew what?”

 

“That you had accepted her death and moved on.  That you were no longer looking for her.  That she could no longer hold on to the thought that you were going to rescue her…that was the only thing that had kept her going.  She was completely devastated.  We both were.  Our partners were no longer mourning us…no longer holding out hope for us…they were moving on, and we were being left alone to spend the rest of our lives locked in a room chained together.”

 

“So….,” John cocked his head, “she didn’t sleep with you until after she…”

 

“Not until AFTER she thought she would never see you again.  We were both just needing to feel safe…to feel loved…to feel something more than the desperation of our situation.  She could never convince herself what happened between us was okay.  Once we made it out and got back to Salem, she wanted to tell you right away.  The guilt was killing her, but you were still in pain from your injuries and recovering from a drug addiction…she wanted to wait until you were stronger.”

John absorbed everything he heard.  Taking it all in and processing it before speaking, “So that’s why, from what I’ve been told, she didn’t tell me until after she found out she was pregnant with your child?”

 

“Exactly.  She hated herself for not telling you right away.  She was afraid she would lose you,” Roman could tell that John was realizing that things weren’t what they seemed, “John, that’s yourbaby she carrying.  Marlena and I are friends…nothing more.  She would never betray you.”

 

John straightened himself up, his jaw tightened, and spoke in his standard monotone, “I apologize for you hitting you.  You should have that checked out…send me the bill, of course.”  He held his head up as he spoke but kept his eyes diverted away from Roman.  And without another word, he moved to the door and exited Roman’s house.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marlena tried to calm herself has Kayla finished hooking her up to all the monitors.  There was a screen showing her pulse, one showing the baby’s heart rate, and every-so-often the blood pressure cuff would come to life and squeeze down on her arm.

 

“Okay, since you’re still early on, we might lose the baby’s heart rate every now and then, but if all looks good here in about an hour, we’ll take off the fetal monitor and just focus our attention on you.”

 

“Sounds good,” Marlena said attempting a smile.

 

Kayla moved over to the loveseat in the sitting area of Marlena’s room, “Soooooo, you wanna talk about it?”

 

Marlena shook her head, “There isn’t much to talk about.  We were having a wonderful evening.  I decided to tell him about the baby, but before I could, he overheard the message on my answering machine confirming my prenatal appointment with Dr. Wright.  He lost it.”

 

“And he thinks you cheated on him?”

 

“Yea,” Marlena whimpered.

 

“With who?”

 

“Roman.”

 

Kayla’s eyes widened, “Roman?”

 

 

“Yea.  John finds our friendship odd.  Plus, he knows Roman and I slept together while he and I were still married.  He was so furious that I couldn’t get him to listen to me…or maybe he just didn’t want to listen to me.”

 

Kayla moved next to Marlena.  Sitting on the edge of the bed, she took Marlena’s hand in hers.  She wanted to comfort Marlena the way she had done for her so many times.  At the same time, she wanted to check the monitors to see what the stress was doing, not only to Marlena, but to the baby as well.

 

“Marlena, look…John….well, he isn’t the John we all know and love.  Your John embraced his feelings and emotions.  This John runs from them, so…well, maybe it’s good that he got so upset.”

 

Marlena had been staring at her lap trying to stop crying, and Kayla’s last statement had caught her off guard.  “What do you mean ‘it’s good that he got so upset’?”

 

“Because, at least, he felt something.  Maybe he was overwhelmed with emotions and the only emotion he knows how to convey is anger.  Maybe…just maybe, finding out you’re pregnant jolted something deep inside him, and maybe that scared the shit out of him.”

 

Marlena’s tears stopped.  Her shoulders relaxed down some, and Kayla noted that her pulse had come back down to a normal level.

 

Marlena’s eyes were wide and her head cocked, “You know, you could be right.  I hadn’t even thought about that.  Why didn’t I think of that?  I’ve had patients over the years that have had similar situations expressing their emotions,” her focus became intense as she look at Kayla, “Do you think my John could really be buried somewhere in there?”

 

“I do,” she squeezed Marlena’s hand, “I really do believe it’s possible.  But finding your John in there…I’m not sure how to go about that.”

 

“Whatever it takes, I’ll find him,” Marlena said with pure determination.

 

Kayla hugged Marlena, “I know you will.  And I’ll help you in any way I can.”

 

Marlena smiled a genuine smile for the first time since her falling out with John, “Thank you, Kayla.  For everything…thank you.”

 

“No problem.  I’ll always be here for you.  Now, I want you to get some sleep,” she reached down the strap on Marlena’s belly, “The baby looks great, so I’m going to take this off, and I’m going to give you a little something to help you rest.”

 

Marlena took the pills Kayla gave her and slid down under her covers.  It wasn’t long before the stress of the evening faded away.  Soon Marlena was sound as sleep as Kayla checked the monitors one last time before curling up on the loveseat and falling asleep as well.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

John tossed his keys onto the table in the foyer of the Dimera mansion.  He moved into the sitting room focused on getting himself a stiff drink when, to his surprise, he found Sami sitting on the sofa in her pajamas reading a book.

 

“What are you doing up,” he asked in an annoyed tone.

 

“The twins seem to be taking a tag team approach to sleeping tonight,” she answered cautiously, very aware of John’s agitated mood.

 

“Then shouldn’t you try to sleep while they’re actually sleeping?”

 

“I tried.  I can’t,” Sami shifted her position as she put her book down on the table, “Why were you out so late?”

 

John poured himself a drink and took a big swig before he spoke, “Oh, I’ve had a very interesting night.”

 

“What do you mean,” Sami moved next to him.

 

He turned to face her, “Well, I saw your mother tonight.  I’m sure you can figure out the rest.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about!”

 

Sami flinched as John’s voice boomed.  “Really, John, I don’t know what you’re talking about.  Did something happen on her trip?”

 

John narrowed his eyes as if he was reading Sami’s mind.  An evil grin crept onto his face.  He leaned in closer to her, “You mean, your mother didn’t tell you that she’s…pregnant?”

 

Sami froze as John’s words echoed through her mind.  She heard them but seemed unable to comprehend them.  The bottle of water she held in her hand fell to the ground snapping her out of her trance.  John’s evil grin subsided as he realized that Sami had not been playing dumb.  She really had no clue her mother was expecting another child.

 

“My MOM is PREGNANT?  You and my Mom are having another baby??  But when…how,” she moved to sit on the sofa, “well, not how, but when?  How far along is she??”

 

“According to her, about 13 weeks,” he said pouring himself another drink and moving to sit on the sofa as well.

 

“I can’t believe this.”

 

“You and me both,” John said finishing the last of his drink.

 

Sami turned to look at him, “Well, you may not remember your past, but some things are the same.”

 

“What do you mean by that?”

 

“You seem to have a way of knocking up my mother at the most inopportune times.  Last time she was married to my father, and this time, she’s filing for divorce from you.”

 

“I’m not really certain that this baby of your mother’s is mine.”

 

“You don’t really mean that?!”

 

“Why would I say it if I didn’t mean it?”

 

“Who else, besides you, would be the father?”

 

“Your dad,” he said coldly.

 

Sami stifled her laugh, “You carry yourself so confidently…like you have no fears, and yet, my parents’ friendship makes you so insecure.  Whether you can admit it or not, you love her, John.”

 

John quickly stood up and moved to the fireplace, “I’m not capable of feeling love.”

 

“Maybe.  But you seem quite capable of feeling jealously.”

 

“Whatever I am or am not capable of feeling, the fact remains that your mother and father are much closer to each other than she and I are at the moment.”

 

“They are close friends,” she moved to the fireplace and leaned into John’s view, “But that doesn’t make them lovers.  Their time together ended long ago, and yes, they love each other…but…but it’s not the same has what the two of you had…have.”

 

“That’s what I keep being told, but I don’t understand it.  And I thought you were all about wanting your parents to be together.”

 

 

“I did want them together.  What kid doesn’t what their parents to be together and happy?  I held onto that dream for waaaaaayy too long,” she moved to the window and gazed out it, “Once I let go of my selfishness, I saw that my mom’s place was with you.  That’s where she was truly happy.  I think I knew that even as a child.  And for a long time, I didn’t understand how she could have loved two men at the same time.”

 

“And now, with your current EJ/Lucas situation, you do,” he questioned with an undertone of sarcasm.

 

“I do,” she turned to make eye contact with John, “John, my mom loves you.  You complete her heart.  You complete her soul.  My parents shared a very real and very honest love for each other.  They were extremely happy at one time.  But then you came along, and it was…it was…just…so much MORE.  You two are soulmates.  The love she has for you goes to her very core…as did your love for her,” she took in a deep breath, “You know that my mom is an extremely strong woman, but when she lost you, we all wondered how she would survive it.”

 

The baby monitor on the side table came to life as the lights lit up with the sound of a screaming baby on the other end.  Sami shook herself away from John’s gaze and moved to the table.  She picked up the device and turned back towards John.

 

“John, do you want to be with my mother?”

 

John turned to face her, “I want her to be in my life.  I want to protect her…I need to protect her.”

 

“And what about the baby? Do you want it?”

 

 

“Do you really think that I, as I am now, would make a good father,” John asked in his sarcastic monotone.

 

“That’s not what I asked you,” responded Sami, “and for the record, yea, I do think you could be a good father.”

 

Sami turned and left the room leaving John alone with his thoughts.  The events from the evening came racing back.  The look on Marlena’s face when he accused her of cheating.  He had been wrong, and he had hurt her.  While she had been away, he had made a promise to himself that he would try harder to be a kinder, gentler John.  That he would work hard not to hurt her or make her upset, and that’s exactly what he did.  Her first night back in town, and he ended up being an asshole.  What made it worse was the fact that, deep down, he had known the whole time that she hadn’t cheated on him.  John picked up his empty glass contemplating having yet another drink.  The image of the small bulge that replaced Marlena’s once flat stomach flashed before his eyes.  Something sparked deep inside of him.  He closed his eyes trying to get the sensation to go away, but instead it grew stronger.  He saw himself back in Marlena’s apartment, her belly exposed, and him placing his hand gently against it with her smiling and laughing.  John opened his eyes and threw the empty glass in his hand into the fireplace.  The glass shattered as John let out a “Damn it!”

 

Sami returned with baby Alice in her arms, “John!”

 

“I screwed up,” he said.

 

Sami moved to face him, “Then, fix it.  Admit you were wrong to her and apologize.  My Mom is a very forgiving woman, trust me, I know.”

 

The baby monitor in Sami’s hand came to life yet again with the sound of a crying baby.  Sami looked at it and let out an exasperated sigh.

 

“Crap,” she said, “Here…can you take Ali for me?”

 

Before John had a chance to answer she shoved the baby into his arms and left the room.  John stood there holding the baby at arm’s length.  He looked at it as if it were some kind of explosive device.

 

“So…do you think I’d be a good father?”

 

The baby kicked her feet and gave John big, gummy smile.

 

“Well, what do you know, you’re just a baby.”

 

John pulled little Alice close to him, and she instinctively rested her head on his shoulder.  John had sense of déjà vu, and to his surprise, he found it comforting.  He relaxed into the feeling of Alice resting on him…trusting him.  He began to walk with her awkwardly swaying with her in his arms.

 

Sami came back into the room, “You look like a natural to me.”

 

Her voice startled him, and instantly he revolted against the moment, “Looks can be deceiving.  How’s the other one?”

 

“Oh, he had just kicked off his covers.  He’s back asleep now.”

 

“Good.  Then take this from me before she drools or vomits on me,” he held the baby out as he spoke.

 

Sami took Alice from John, “Thank you for watching her for me.”

 

“Just don’t make a habit of it.  Anyway, thank you for the talk.  I’m going to bed.  Good night.”

 

“Night, John.”  She couldn’t help but smile.  She hadn’t been sure before, but she was now, the real John was somewhere in there.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Marlena stretched out of her grogginess.  It took her a few seconds to remember the events of the evening before.  She sucked in her a breath as she remembered the look on John’s face when he saw her belly.  She cupped her mouth and tried to stop her tears from coming.  Kayla walked into the room and saw Marlena breaking down.  She quickly set down the breakfast tray she was carrying and moved to Marlena’s side.

 

“Hey…hey…  It’s going to be okay.  I promise.  It’ll all work out,” she spoke tenderly as she hugged Marlena.

 

Marlena calmed herself, “I know.  One way or another, I’ll make it through this.”

 

“You will,” Kayla said handing Marlena a tissue.

 

Marlena wiped her eyes.  She was getting tired of breaking down.  She blew out a deep breath through pursed lips.  “So.  How we doing here,” she asked pointing to the monitors.

 

Kayla stood up and glanced at the monitors, “Looking good.  You’re blood pressure has come down considerably.”

 

“Good.”

 

“How about some breakfast?”

 

Marlena’s stomach lurched at the thought of food, “Ummmm… Not right now,” she said swallowing hard.

 

“Morning sickness?”

 

“Yea.”

 

“I figured so.  I just brought you some dry toast and some orange juice.”

 

Marlena let out a little laugh, “Thanks.  Maybe I’ll have some toast after I use the restroom.”

 

Kayla helped Marlena unhook herself from the monitors.  Marlena moved to the bathroom at the opposite end of her room.  Kayla picked up Marlena’s file and made some notes in it while she waited for her return.  Marlena steadied herself at the sink as she washed her face when the phone by her bed started to ring.  She hollered from the bathroom asking Kayla to answer it for her.  Kayla put down the file in her lap and picked up the phone.

 

“Hello?”

 

There was a moment of hesitation, “Aunt Kayla?”

 

“Yea, Sami it’s Kayla.”

 

“Why are you there?  Is my Mom okay,” she asked panicked.

 

“Sami, calm down.  She’s fine.”

 

“Oh…good.  You had me worried.  Why are you there then?”

 

Marlena walked out of the bathroom looking greener than she had when she entered the bathroom.  Kayla mouthed “It’s Sami” to her.  Marlena pushed her shoulders back and reached for the phone.

 

“Sami, here’s your Mother.”

 

Marlena held the phone against her chest for a moment.  Kayla could tell that her stomach wasn’t sitting well with her this morning.

 

“Hey there, baby girl,” Marlena said trying to sound upbeat, “how are you this morning?”

 

“I’m good, Mom.  The babies had me up most of the night, but besides that, I’m fine.”

 

Marlena smiled as she sat down on her bed, “Oh, I remember those nights.  Sometimes I swore you and Eric were trying to kill me.”

 

“Yea,” she laughed, “I had that thought last night with Alice and Johnny.”

 

“Well, hopefully, they’ll both be sleeping through the night soon.”

 

“I hope so,” Sami paused for a moment looking to shift the conversation, “Mom?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“How are you feeling?  I mean, how are you really feeling?”

 

Marlena’s heart sunk.  “What did John tell you,” she asked tentatively.

 

Sami could tell her Mother was hurting, so she chose her words carefully, “That I’m going to have a new brother or sister.”

 

Marlena held her breath waiting for Sami to lay into her, but surprisingly, she didn’t.  Marlena closed her eyes, “And what do you think about that?”

 

“I don’t know.  I guess I’m just worried about you more than anything.”

 

Marlena smiled, “Well, I’m fine.  You don’t need to worry about me.”

 

“Mom, I know you.  Life hasn’t been easy for you lately, and I’m assuming this wasn’t a planned pregnancy.  It has to be a bit overwhelming…to say the least.”

 

“You know.  It has been overwhelming, but I’m fine.  I’m going to be fine.  I’m just taking this one day at a time.”

 

“I know you’re strong and that you can handle whatever life throws at you, but just promise me one thing.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“If you need anything, day or night, you’ll call me.”

 

“You got it.”

 

“Okay.  I’ve got to go run some errands right now, but is it okay if I stop by tonight?  Maybe bring some dinner?”

 

“That should be fine.  Give me a call later.”

 

“M’kay, I’ll talk to you later.”

 

“You bet.”

 

“Love you, Mom.”

 

“Love you too, Sami.  And…thank you.”

 

“Anytime.  Bye.”

 

“Bye.”

 

Marlena hung up the phone.  She smiled to herself.  Her daughter had come a long way in the last couple of years.  She was finally the person Marlena always dreamed she’d be.  Kayla moved next to Marlena and hooked her up to the monitors once again.

 

Marlena looked up at her, “John told Sami about the baby.”

 

“How did Sami take it?”

 

“I assumed she’d be disappointed in me, but if she is, she kept it hidden.”

 

“Why would she be disappointed in you?”

 

“Because I let my emotions get the better of me….just like before.”

 

“Marlena, you seem to forget that you are human just like the rest of us.  Sami should know better than anyone that sometimes our emotions get the better of us.  Besides, you slept with your husband…there’s nothing wrong with that.”

 

“Yea, well, maybe you’re right.  Anyway, I can’t control what people think about me.”

 

“No, you can’t,” she patted Marlena’s leg, “How about that breakfast?”

 

Marlena’s stomach turned, “How about a trashcan instead?!”

 

Kayla reached down and quickly grabbed the small trashcan next to the bed and handed it to Marlena just in time for her stomach to empty.  Kayla moved into the bathroom and grabbed a damp rag for Marlena and placed it on the back of her neck.  Finally, Marlena’s stomach calmed and she relaxed removing the rag from her neck and patting her face with it.  She closed her eyes suddenly feeling tired.  Kayla took the trashcan from her and moved to dispose of its contents.  When Kayla returned, Marlena was laying back with her pillows propped up behind her.  She was still pale but not nearly as green now.

 

“You feeling any better?”

 

“A little,” she said weakly.

 

“Good.  I’m going to put the trashcan right by the bed just in case you need it again.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“And I’m going to go ahead and hook you back up to the fetal monitor for a bit.  I just want to get a look at the baby now that your BP is back to normal.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Kayla got Marlena all strapped in and set the volume so that the flutter of the baby’s heartbeat could just barely be heard.  “Would you like some peppermint tea to calm your stomach?”

 

“Oooohh… That would be wonderful.”

 

“Alright.  I’ll go make some while you relax.”

 

Marlena closed her eyes and instantly started to doze.

 

Kayla was just finishing up the tea for Marlena when there was a knock at the door.  She had been expecting Steve to stop by with some personal items she needed, so she headed to the front door to let him in.  To her surprise, when she opened the door, there stood John holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

 

“Kayla?!  What are you doing here?  What’s wrong with Marlena,” he asked pushing past her through the door.

 

Kayla shut the door and quickly moved to block John, “Nothing.  She’s fine now.”

 

John cocked his head, “What do you mean ‘she’s fine now’?”

 

Kayla let out a sigh, “She called me last night.  She wasn’t feeling well.  When I got here, her blood pressure and pulse were quite high.  In fact, I’m not sure if before I got here, if she fell asleep or passed out…”

 

Before she could finish speaking John ran past her to Marlena’s room.  He stopped dead in his tracks when he got inside her doorway.  His chest tightened with fear.  Marlena lay in bed, her eyes closed, her face pale, and she was hooked up to different machines.  John felt the terror he felt in Stefano’s lab, but even more pronounced was the guilt he felt for making her so upset.  He hesitantly moved next to the bed.  Kayla came up and stood behind him.

 

“She’s okay, John.  She’s just resting now,” she whispered.

 

John dropped the flowers next to the bed.  He turned back to Kayla, “Is she going to be okay?  She looks awfully pale.”

 

“She’s going to be fine.  We just need to keep an eye on her blood pressure…keep her stress levels down.  And she just has a touch of morning sickness today.”

 

In that moment, Marlena abruptly woke up and frantically searched for the trashcan.  Kayla moved in front of John and handed her the container.  Once again, Marlena’s stomach emptied.  Kayla pulled her hair back and held it securely out of the way.  John stepped around to the side of the bed opposite of Kayla.  He felt like he should do something but didn’t know what that was.  As Marlena’s last heaves passed, John delicately placed his hand her back.  He wanted to comfort her, and he hated himself for not knowing how.  Finally, Marlena lifted her head from the bin and ran her hand through her hair.  Kayla handed her the damp rag that was sitting on the nightstand, and Marlena patted down her face and neck.

 

 

“Is it okay if I take this,” Kayla asked referring to the trashcan.

 

Marlena nodded with her eyes half closed.  Kayla took the bin and walked to the bathroom with it.  John moved over to the window and stared mindlessly out at the view.  Marlena closed her eyes and rested back on her pillows.

 

“I’m…I’m…sorry, Blondie,” John spoke with an almost childlike tone.  He wasn’t a man that apologized…at least, this version of him didn’t.  He was uncertain of how exactly to do it, and he was scared he would be rejected.

 

Marlena’s eyes popped open and her gaze moved to the sound of John’s voice.  She saw him standing at the window…his back was to her.  “John?”

 

He turned to face her.  “I’m sorry for my behavior last night,” he spoke in his monotone trying to convince her, as well as himself, that he was feeling confident, but the flex of his jaw let Marlena know that it was all a façade.

 

“Do you still think I cheated on you,” she asked coldly.

 

John shifted uncomfortably.  “No,” he moved closer to the bed but never made eye contact, “The truth is…well…I think I knew the entire time that you hadn’t cheated on me.  I think…I think…I don’t know.  Nevermind.”

 

John moved back to the window.  “John, you think what?”

 

He focused intently on the rooftop of a neighboring building, “I think I was just angry at the situation, and I took it out on you.  And maybe…”

 

“Maybe what?”

 

“Maybe…well….maybe I was kind of hoping that it was someone else’s.”

 

“Why,” she asked fighting her tears.

 

He turned to face her, “Because I can’t be a father.”

 

Marlena’s tears fell, “Oh, but John.  You are the most amazing father.”

 

He was irritated now.  She was referring to him as the person he no longer was, “No,” he moved towards her, “The old John was an amazing father!  I’m not…”

 

His words fell in the air.  With his last step to the bed’s edge, he suddenly became aware of a sound whooshing through the room.  He looked around trying to judge exactly what he was hearing.  He hadn’t noticed it before, but he had been distracted by Marlena being ill.  Kayla stepped out of the bathroom not sure what to make of the situation she was walking in on.

 

“John?  What’s wrong,” Marlena asked.

 

“What is that sound?”

 

Kayla answered from the foot of Marlena’s bed, “That’s the sound of your baby’s heartbeat, John.”

 

John glared at her as he tried to process her words.  His chest tightened down on his breath.  His head began to swim.  The room seemed to be shrinking in on him.  He shook his head hard trying to regain his composure.

 

“I….uh…I just remembered that I have business to attend to,” he spoke without ever looking away from his feet.

 

“John?”

 

Ignoring Marlena, he continued, “I will be back to check on you later.”

 

And without another word, he was out of the bedroom and quickly out of the townhouse.  Marlena looked at Kayla.  Neither said a word, but they each knew what the other was thinking…something in John had been ignited.  Something very deep and very real.