Author’s Notes: The Poems quoted in here are “And Death Shall Have No
Dominion” By Dylan Thomas and Lesbia by Catullus (84-54 BC) Translated
by Richard Crashaw (1612-1649)
He fiddled with his ring, watching silently as the video before him unfolded. The man on screen showed his rage, moving effortlessly through his opponents like a hand through water. While there was carnage, he was awesome in that he was leaving no trace of ever being there.
“I trained you well.” He leaned forward and tapped the screen. “I made you.”
His gaze fell to the other monitor. She sat by the window, never moving except for brief moments where her hand would fall protectively over her stomach. Then the illusion of her being made out of marble was shattered. The two were enigmas, each half of the other and together were unstoppable.
He froze one image. The rage was evident in the man’s expression. But what caught him was the coldness of his eyes. Normally a calm blue, they were almost black as he slit the enemy’s throat. Letting the tape run further, he heard his former protĂ©gĂ© scream a question. “WHERE IS SHE!”
She never turned or gave indication of the camera, she knew without question that the red light beamed malevolently 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Didn’t acknowledge the madman who held her for the simple reason of being able to say he had a rare butterfly or jewel. She only lifted her eyes to glance at the clock and inperceptively her hand curled into a fist. A tiny fist drained of color was the only indication of the fear she felt.
Getting up from the chair, she moved closer to the window. Laying her hand against the glass, she wondered briefly over just how easy it would be to crash through the glass, the shards sparkling as they showered her and the ground below and to fly and simply end it all.
She had once felt his presence so strongly. Now she felt so empty.
Devoid of feeling, but yet she knew that she had to be there for this child. No matter what, she knew that she had to protect her baby. The child was the one thing he wanted most, and if it took her ending his miserable life, she would wait.
This child and its father deserved peace. A solitary tear fell down her cheek as she whispered out a name long forgiven, but certainly not forgotten. “John. Help me.”
*~*~*~*
She could still hear his voice in her ears as she remembered their last night as a couple together. They had made just made love and while they lay still entwined in John’s big bed, the French Doors open to the terrace, Marlena could just make out the stars in the skyline as he began to recite a poem.
And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.
And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan’t crack;
And death shall have no dominion.
And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.
She lifted up on one hand and laid her other free hand on his chest. Her hazel eyes had grown shadowed. “I failed.”
He turned his head and willed his blue eyes to tell her the emotions that he was too afraid to tell her. That she was his whole world. “What are you talking about?”
Marlena sat up and reached for her robe. “For all the times when we’re together like this. When I think that our love was strong, that it could help to heal those ghosts of yours. You let little shards of the past through. I failed you.”
He sat up and wrapped his arms around her. “Doc, it was only a poem.”
She turned her head. “There are millions of poems in the universe. I know, because when we’re alone from time to time, you surprise me with them. John, you do this more often than you’re willing to admit.”
He shook his head. “I would prefer that when we’re alone like this, that you didn’t psychoanalyze me.” He laid his head back against the pillows and studied her. “I mean think about it Doc.”
She tied her robe and angrily looked at him. “That’s the most sanctimonious thing I’ve heard come out of your mouth.”
He glanced at her while she began to dress. “Despite the totally screwed up past that makes up the large chunk of the man I love. I make it a habit NOT to sleep with patients and I resent the implication that you made that while I’ve shared everything with you, I’m treating you as a patient.”
He hesitated knowing that he had gone too far. “Doc.”
She turned around and the message in her body language was certainly clear. “I never thought that I would say this. But there are times when I truly think that you’re a heartless bastard.”
Gathering her purse and jacket, Marlena shook her head. “When you realize just what you want, call me. Until then, I don’t want to see you again.”
She pulled the covers over the soft swelling. “And I was right. While it was said in anger. I got my wish. I’ll never see you again.” A tear trickled down her cheek and marred the pink sheets on her pillow.
He leaned back in his chair, as always the silent observer to her distress. A smile came over him as he tapped his fingers on the arms of the leather chair. “You’re observant my dear guest.” He spoke to the other person, standing hesitantly beside the chair. “Is everything ready?” The Physician nodded. “Her checkup shows that it’s any time now. She could even go into labor tomorrow.”
The smile that came over his boss’s face gave the skeletal expression a sudden impression of mirth. “Perfect. Go, leave me please.”
Once he was alone, he leaned forward and softly addressed the crying woman. “Yes Dr. Evans. your journey is soon coming to an end.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
“What do we do now?”
It was a simple statement, but to John it was like a challenge. The red flag for a bull. He lifted his head from looking at the medallion
Like a supplicant, reverently seeking peace, he whispered “Da mi basia mille”
John’s second in command looked up. “You say something boss?”
He clenched the medallion in his hand and all emotion was removed from his eyes as he looked up. “No, didn’t say a word. The teams call in yet?”
As he forced himself to listen to the reports of the carnage as his men tore the compound apart to find her, John felt himself putting up walls to protect his image of her. That if he was to break down and reveal what that term had meant. He shook his head. “Not now!”
The scared young man at the door gulped. “I’m sorry Sir.” Cursing his luck, John waved him in. “Didn’t mean you. Come in and give me the update.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
She shifted position in bed, the dull ache growing sharper. Opening her eyes, she focused on the ceiling pattern and began to softly speak of a poem that had comforted her many times since this had begun.
Then let amorous kisses dwell
On our lips, begin and tell
A Thousand, and a hundred, score
An Hundred, and a Thousand more.
Feeling something tearing inside her, she slid into the darkness, finding it as welcoming as a lover’s embrace. Her last comment was simple and was for him. “Da mi basia mille”
*~*~*~*~*~*
He lost track of time, moving only on instinct and the heartbeat that he heard in his head. The heartbeat he knew wasn’t his. It compelled him to rush forward and not question or lag behind waiting for the rest of the troop.
He burst into the room, calling her name and having it echoing back to him. It was a hollow victory in that they had retreated. But the goal was lost. There was no one there.
The crackle of static broke the silence. “Boss?”
John was about to speak when he heard a faint scream.
*~*~*~*~*~*
“You were once so strong.” He examined the tiny bundle in his arms. “Now look at you. Broken and pitiful.”
Marlena lay on the operating table and looked at him with tear filled eyes. “You’ve won. Please, please let me see my baby.”
Stefano looked to his Doctor. “Finish this.” As the doctor nodded, DiMera glanced to her and shook his head. “Sorry, I can’t have you telling John what his child is. Better he never knows and lives with that pain.”
Marlena was finding it hard to concentrate, everything was becoming so heavy. Turning her head slightly, she found Rolf pulling the needle from her arm. “What have you done?”
Rolf raised an eyebrow. “You won’t feel any pain.”
Marlena sighed and found that small sound expressed all her emotions.
“You lie.”
Stefano shifted the infant in his arms as it began to fuss. “Let’s go.
You let her scream. John will be here soon!”
“John’s here?” Her question was full of hope.
Stefano handed the baby over to the nurse for a moment so that he could lean over the side of the hospital bed. “Ah, my Queen.” He stroked her hair. “Yes he is here. He’s been searching for you for so long. He’s so close, but it is going to be for nothing. When he finds you and I know he will. You’ll be dead.” She began to scream, but realized that it was useless. It was true what they said. That as you began the road to death, slowly everything was taken away.
Couldn’t speak, couldn’t fight, couldn’t cry..
But she could still hear. She heard as Stefano decreed her death.
“You wouldn’t allow me to have you, John was too willful to stay mine.
But now I have this child. The best of you both.” He made a final bow.
“Goodbye Marlena.”
As the retinue left her alone, Marlena’s eyes welled with tears. “This wasn’t how I wanted this.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
John heard the start up of the helicopter and ran for it.
Crashing through the compound, he arrived just in time to see it taking off in the clearing. Shaking he screamed the name of the man who was smiling triumphantly at him from the safety of the bulletproof glass.
He grinned and then mouthed the words. “I won!”
Suddenly realizing what those two words meant, John yelled for Marlena.
“Baby, I won’t stop searching for you!”
As he was left in the silence of the forest glen, John heard the snap crackling of the radio at his waist.
“Boss, come back quickly. We found something. We need you back in the compound.” Shaking his head, he reached for it and brought it to his lips. Hesitating for a moment, John gathered his thoughts. Couldn’t let them think the former member of Stefano’s elite guard was weak
“Say again?”
Marcus hesitated, turning his head around at the sight he came across.
“BAGWELL!”
John was a man of action. Priding himself on the constant motion of his mind and the lighting fast reactions of his second in command Marcus, but never in a million years would he have been prepared for the sudden tears he heard.
“Boss you have to come back here and fast. You’ll see when you get back here.”
*~*~*~*~*~*
The beeping was becoming slower and her breathing was more labored.
There was nothing he could do but sit by her side and not show her that it was tearing him apart.
“I wanted to say I love you.” He searched her face for some sign that she could hear him. “Baby, I owe you so much and I’m so sorry that I couldn’t help you. I couldn’t save you and I’ll hate myself forever for this. But please wake up for me so that I can see you one last time?”
He watched as with great effort, she did as she was asked to. “Hey there Pretty Lady.” She smiled weakly.
“I brought you something.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a tiny gold band. “You forgot this when you left me after our fight.” He smiled and slipped it on her hand. “I think it belongs back on it.”
Bringing her hand to his lips, he then examined the band. “Yep, it belongs there.”
Marlena was drifting back away, but he had to say one more thing. “See, I’m wearing the medallion. Honey, I didn’t forget.” He smiled. “I’m going to make you so happy.”
She nodded faintly and whispered something that he could barely hear.
“The Poem?”
She sighed. “Say it please.”
Careful of her injuries, he gathered her close to him and his tears began to flow.
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.
He heard her sigh one last time and shiver as she lay in his arms.
Suddenly she went limp and he pressed his lips to her cool skin.
Whispering once more one final time, he proved that she had been right.
That poem best described the demons he faced from the past and now his present.
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
He laid her back against the pillow and his head fell to the side of hers as he began to sob.
And death shall have no dominion.
The Jarlena Journal 