“John honey, I’m sorry but I am not in the mood for this. Not tonight.”
Marlena looked at the floor, as she pried John’s hands from her breasts. She just couldn’t let him make love to her when she wasn’t even sure if he still really loved her or not.
“Doc… I just got you back from months and months of being separated… and you tell me that you are not in the mood. What the hell is going on?” John grabbed her arm so that she couldn’t leave, his back injuries making him weaker than usual, but he was still strong enough to hold her. “John please, let me go…”
She was sobbing now, each and every tear like a bullet through his heart. She fought to get away from him, pulling her arm until it felt like it would fall off.
“No… not until you tell me what is going on. I know that you want me… I can see it in your eyes.” He took her face securely between both his hands and forced her to look up into his eyes. Marlena allowed herself to gaze up at him for just a moment, wanting so desperately for him to kiss away all of her pain. But she had to avert her hazel orbs again, the fear of being found out too much for her.
“John… I…” She faltered, moving as far away from him on the couch as was possible.
“What? You what?” His intense gaze pierced her and she could not look at him. Marlena stood. “I saw the way you looked at Kate… I saw the way you held her… I saw the way you kissed her.” John dropped her hands and she used the opportunity to stand up and walk to the balcony. “You love her… and I will not stand in the way of that…”
John followed her out to the balcony and stood behind her, their bodies not touching. “Marlena… you are wrong. It is YOU… it will ALWAYS be you. I thought that you were dead… I had to move on…”
He placed his hands onto her heaving shoulders and leaned into her ear. “Can’t you see how much I want you?… Can’t you feel it?” He pressed his throbbing erection into the small of her back and heard her gasp as she felt it. He put his arms around her body and massaged her breasts through her top. He breathed into her ear, making sure that his hot breath assaulted her every sense. “I love you so much Doc…” His lips and teeth tugged at her earlobe, and almost involuntarily her eyes fluttered closed, stray tears still running down them, and smearing the mascara that she had so carefully applied this morning. Her breasts heaved and her neck arched backwards as his lips traveled lower, her soft moans and laboured breathing urging him to continue.
“Stop… it’s not… true…” She breathed the words, her body begging her to just allow John to do this to her, but her mind and soul begging her to preserve her own heart. If she let this happen, she would be giving herself entirely to him again… and then it would be so much harder when she had to give him up. Finding every ounce of inner strength that she possessed, Marlena stepped forwards, prying his hands off her body. He resisted and followed her. But Marlena stopped him with merely a glance. “No… I won’t let you play me like this. I won’t play second fiddle to Kate… How could you have even stood to be with her? I guess I really don’t know you like I thought I did.” Marlena turned away from him, trying to stop the tears before they started.
Before she knew it he had grabbed her arm and swung her around, crushing her body to his violently, his eyes flashing with both confusion and desire. “No… you are wrong,” he growled as he forced his lips onto hers, bruising them with his urgency. He grabbed her shoulders and squeezed them, and his tongue probed at her mouth, begging for entry. Marlena couldn’t resist him… her love and desire was too strong. So she relented, opening her mouth and meeting his tongue with hers. Soft whimpers filled the silence as she lost herself in him over and over again, as the kiss deepened, their touches becoming more and more urgent, as her hands traveled over his taut back, and his over her rounded bottom. “If only… we could… make this… last…” She spoke between kisses, her despair shining through in the desperation of the kisses that they were sharing… the urgency of their roaming hands. “It can… believe that…” John placed his lips onto her neck, sending a trail of open-mouthed kisses down its exposed surface, her moans filtering into the night.
It was at the moment that Marlena was ready to give into John that Kate chose to walk through the door, her key not yet returned to John. She saw the tryst on the balcony and couldn’t believe her eyes. John had forgotten about her already. Smirking, Kate decided to cause trouble in paradise. “John…” She spoke, her face pale, as she pretended to be faint. Both John and Marlena turned to look at her… the surprise registering on both of their faces. “What do you want Kate?” He asked in annoyance, holding tightly to Marlena. He knew that she was just waiting for a chance to get away from him and the look on her face said it all. It was so full of misery and dejection. “I need to talk to you in private…” Kate started, trying desperately to entice her lover away from his wife. Marlena started to move… muttering about how she would give them some space, but John pulled her back towards him, engulfing her into his warm embrace. “Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of Marlena. We have no secrets from each other…” He looked into Marlena’s eyes as he said it, with an intensity that was meant to assure her of his love.
Kate spoke, her whining voice gushing through the sweet moment. “I love you John… I can’t be with Roman. It’s you that I want…” She moved towards him, her appeal filling John with a new sense of disgust. Marlena squirmed out of his arms, her tears falling down her face. John made a grab for her but it was no use. She reached the front door before he even had a chance to react. “I don’t know how I let you almost make me believe that we could get through this. I am going to stay at the pub…” Her hysterical cries trailed her as John rushed to reach the elevator before the doors closed. His heart broke when he saw her crouched on the floor, her head in her hands. He vowed to go after her and make it right.
He turned to Kate and let his anger and frustration out. “How could you do that? How could you say that in front of my wife? Hasn’t she been through enough without witnessing another woman making a play for her husband? God Kate… I don’t know what I ever saw in you.” John ran a hand through his hair and stepped backwards abruptly when she approached him. “It will be okay John. She will get over you honey… we can be together now…”
“I don’t know what is going on in that head of yours. I don’t WANT to be with you. I WANT to be with Marlena. She is the woman that I love and will never ever stop loving. Even if I have ruined all our chances of being together, I will NEVER STOP trying to win her back.” With that John rushed into the waiting elevator, intent on finding Marlena and making her admit that she loved him and that she believed that he loved her.
********************
John found her in the kitchen at the pub, washing the dishes as Shawn dried them, comforting the woman that he loved like his own daughter. Shawn saw John first and smiled sympathetically. “I have to go and check on Caroline…” Marlena didn’t even turn around, merely nodding as Shawn left. John threw a grateful smile at Shawn as he left the room, indicating to John that the pub was theirs as long as they needed it.
As soon as Marlena heard his footsteps fade, she stopped her task, collapsing against the sink, as her sobs began again. “Why did this have to happen to us?”
Her distressed cry brought John forwards. When he reached her he pulled her long hair up off her neck and leaned in to kiss her hairline at the base of her neck. “Nothing has happened to us Doc…” He breathed. Marlena swirled around, hot, soapy dish water flicking over both of them. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you with Kate?” She spat in disdain, her eyes flashing dangerously. “Marlena I told you… I want you… I told Kate that as soon as you had left. Then I came after you. It isn’t even a choice for me…” He pulled her into his embrace and enfolded his arms around her small body. Marlena relaxed into him, resting her head against his chest. “I love you John…” She finally spoke, her words muffled by his shirt, which was now wet from her tears.
John took her face between his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. “And I love you Marlena… Do you believe that?” Marlena closed her eyes to shut out the truth. “I want to believe you… I just don’t know if I can…” Her tone was childlike.
“Then let me convince you…” John picked her up as though she weighed nothing, his pain gone at the thought of what he was about to do with the woman he loved. He placed her atop the huge steel counter of the pub kitchen, swiping the contents of it onto the floor as he did so. He heard Marlena’s gasp as he did so, her body trembling visibly as she anticipated his next move. He placed her hands on the counter top, face down to support her. “Just relax baby… tonight I am going to show you how much I love you.” Marlena allowed her neck to roll enticingly, and she fixed her heated gaze on John, watching him through half-opened eyes as he looked her up and down.
He took her right leg in his hand and lazily pulled the lace-up boot from it, throwing it over his shoulder as he fixed his gaze on her newly exposed skin. “Do you even know how much I love you?” He breathed, as he sensually massaged the foot. “No… why don’t you tell me?” Her smile warmed his heart.“I’ll do better than that… I’ll show you…” John leaned down and blew gently onto her ankle, before placing a delicate kiss on the protruding bone on the inner surface. Marlena’s eyes fluttered shut as her entire body erupted in goose bumps. “Oh John…” Her voice was shaky, as she felt his hands trace up her leg, followed by his lips… leaving in their wake a trail of open mouthed kisses… until he reached the hem of her skirt. Then he repeated the entire process on her left leg.
She was almost reclined fully on the counter top, her neck arched backwards, completely exposed to him, her breasts heaving and her breathing ragged, as his was from just touching her and feeling her sensual skin. He placed one hand on either leg and pushed them apart, standing up fully and standing between them. Then he picked them up and wrapped them around his back. Marlena took his cue and tightened them around his waist, the sensation causing shivers to run down John’s entire body. He placed his rough hand on her exposed neck, and she shot it upwards to look at him. John laced his fingers through her hair and pulled her head backwards so that it was again exposed to him, and he bent down, breathing on her skin as he whispered endearments. “I love your beautiful neck… I love the fact that I can drive you crazy with just the slightest touch of the skin there…” He proceeded to demonstrate and he bent to kiss her, nipping gently before sucking and creating a deep purple mark. He heard her whimper in protest, and he responded, huskily. “I want everyone to know that you are mine…” She couldn’t even stop him if she tried. She wanted him to touch her however he desired. “I am yours… I will always be yours…” She breathed, pulling his face up to hers. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately, their tongues dueling for control.
When they paused for air, John knew that he had won her over… the way her lips were parted in sensual pleasure… the pose of her body begging for more. “Oh John, please… make love to me…” Her whispered appeals drew a cheeky grin from John, and he pushed her back to her original position. He proceeded to unbutton her shirt, placing tiny kisses on each area of newly exposed skin. He pushed the shirt off her shoulders, and tossed it. He ran his hands over her collar bone and shoulders, his lips following suit. He paused at the base of her throat and whispered, “I love your shoulders and your collarbone.” His hands unsnapped her bra nimbly and removed it. “And your breasts… oh god, I love your breasts…” He took one nipple in his mouth, teasing it… tasting it… until it became hard and her breathing was almost wild. He could feel her back as it arched up, desperate for more. John repeated the process on the other breast.
His hand traveled to her skirt and he unzipped it, lifting her hips as he pulled it down, along with her black lacy panties. “You are so beautiful.” He stepped back and gazed at her exquisite body, so unchanged since she went away. It amazed him how she managed to do it… her body still seemed so young and exquisite as the years passed by. It never failed to take his breath away. He could see the wetness that pooled at her centre, the smell of her arousal so enticing. He bent down to breathe on her centre, the cool air from his mouth causing her to gasp. She grabbed his head and pushed him into her, and John obliged, tracing his tongue over the lips of her womanhood. Then he felt for her shoulders blindly and pushed her downwards until she was lying on the steel table, the cold steel an erotic contrast to the heat of her body and the heat of what was taking place at this very moment.
She shuddered when his tongue found her clit, sucking on it gently, causing her to raise her hips high off the table, searching for more. John noticed her urgency and began to move faster, swirling in a circular motion. He thrust two fingers into her and began to send her over the edge… into an oblivion that both of them had missed. He felt and heard her come, her body shaking and her breathing ragged. John leaned up and captured her lips for a kiss, which quickly escalated in intensity. “Oh god baby… that was wonderful. But I need you… I want to feel you inside me…” Marlena reached down and massaged John’s throbbing erection through his pants.
John pulled back, and smiled at the look she gave him… disapproval that he had moved away and absolute desperation. John removed his clothes and walked over to the fridge. As he opened it, Marlena came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. Goosebumps covered his body as her breasts pressed up against him and her lips pressed against his back. “Hungry, baby?” She asked playfully, not sure what he was up to.
“Actually yeah…” He cried in triumph when he found what he was looking for. He turned to her and held up his prize, his eyes lighting up like a child’s on Christmas day. Marlena gasped, and then smiled seductively as he held up the can of whipped cream. Before she could stop him, he had sprayed it at her face. “Oh my god… you are so dead…” She tried to grab the spray can, but John was too quick for her. He laughed as he moved backwards, aiming the cream at her and spraying. He placed one finger on her cream covered breast and wiped some cream off, putting it into his mouth. “Yum…”
“That’s it…” Marlena ran at him as John ran away. “You can run baby… but you can’t hide…”
“Want to bet?” John ducked under the counter. Marlena smiled cheekily as an idea came to her. She snuck to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of chocolate fudge sauce. She prowled over to the place where John was hiding, hoping to get him before he sprayed her again. Little did she know that John had moved from his hiding place, and was sneaking up behind her. She jumped a mile high when a new batch of cream hit her on the back. John laughed as she whirled around. He hadn’t seen her secret weapon yet… and she held it securely behind her back. “Maybe I should clean myself up…” She swiped the finger of her free hand over her breast seductively, letting it linger there longer than was necessary. She knew how John loved to watch her touch herself. Then she placed her finger into her mouth, licking it clean, watching John the entire time. His eyes and his erection bulged. Marlena took a napkin from the counter and was about to wipe the cream off, when John stopped her. “Well now… that’s pretty unfair, don’t you think? I made the mess… it is only fair that I clean it up…” He approached her, licking his lips as he eyed her cream coated body. John knew that he would enjoy this.
Just as he was about to descend on her, Marlena aimed the chocolate directly at him, covering his chest in the sticky liquid. She laughed and ran her finger down his chest, licking the topping from it. “Mmmm… yummy…” John was flabbergasted… he couldn’t even react for a moment, and Marlena took the opportunity to pour some chocolate into his hair, using her hands to rub it in. Her delightful laughter filled the room, as John’s eyes flashed dangerously. “You are going to get it now, pretty lady…” He found his voice and started to move slowly forwards, as Marlena moved backwards, her heart pounding. As he moved faster, Marlena turned to run, screaming and squealing as she heard him behind her, picking up pace. “Baby… you might as well give in now… you will never outrun me…” he panted as he gained on her.
They had reached the bar by the time he caught her, his arms encircling her waist and tackling her downwards. Once he had her pinned onto the ground, John picked her up and placed her onto the bar… crawling atop her as she struggled beneath him playfully… still laughing… still panting for breath from their game. “Now you are going to learn never to mess with me, baby…” John descended onto her body, sensuously licking the cream and chocolate from every inch of her body, as she lost herself in his attacks.
When he had finished, he flipped them over so that Marlena straddled him. “Now baby… clean up the mess that you made…” he commanded in a husky tone. He closed his eyes as he felt Marlena’s lips come dangerously close to his body. “Maybe I should hire a maid…” She giggled as she raised her head slightly to look at his incredulous expression. “W… what?” he stammered.
Marlena pretended to be thinking. “Well, I really shouldn’t have to clean up my own mess… I mean my husband IS a millionaire. I think it would be undignified…” She was cut off when John forced her head to his chest and Marlena responded, her tongue sneaking out as she performed her task.
She ground her lower body into him, her wetness rubbing against his abdomen. Lifting her hips, Marlena eased herself onto his erection, gasping as she felt it fill her completely. “Oh baby…” John growled and he placed his hands onto her hips to help her. Marlena began to move up and down on him, as John bucked his hips upwards to meet her. As they got closer, his hands kneaded her breasts as they bounced in rhythm with their love-making. Their thrusts became more urgent and they screamed each others names as they came together, their bodies shuddering and convulsing as they reached the blissful high of orgasm.
John watched as Marlena collapsed on top of him, her body weak and covered with sweat. He lifted her from him and picked her up, carrying her over to the couch where he lay with her gathered in his arms. When they could speak he asked quietly, “So… did I convince you that you are the only one for me?”
“I don’t know how I could have ever doubted that. Thank you John.” She smiled at him and placed her lips onto his for a sensual kiss.
The Jarlena Journal 