John was finally able to slip away from the church without looking suspicious. He knew Bo wasn’t completely buying the fact that he saw nothing in either the cemetery or the crypt, but at this point John didn’t give a damn. He needed answers and the only person who could give them to him was his wife. As he drove to the penthouse, his mind was reeling with the image of his beloved running from the crime scene. “What the Hell was she doing there, and why did she run?” In his head he already knew the answer, but his heart would not accept what his eyes saw and what his soul felt. “She was there when I fell through that trap door; I could feel her, but it was different.” His thoughts were everywhere but on his driving. As he pulled into the underground parking structure, he thanked the Heavens that he had made it at all.
Marlena stood in the middle of the living room transfixed, the bloody letter opener still clutched in her right hand. Her left hand smoothed the lines in her brow, but the headache would not abate. Her brain was screaming for aspirin, but her legs wouldn’t move. She never heard the soft snicking of the door as it opened or the slight intake of breath her husband made as he saw her standing there with the condemning evidence.
His mind raced as to how best approach her. He knew that her adrenaline would be flying and she might be able to overpower him, but he prayed that her love for him still existed in the deep recesses of her mind and that she wouldn’t be able to follow through with any murderous intent after being discovered.
“Doc?” He approached her tentatively, a couple of small steps at a time. “Doc, it’s John, can you hear me sweetheart?” She turned to him slowly then. Her face a complete distortion of the woman he knew and loved. He waited, and finally recognition dawned, then horror. She dropped the letter opener and sank to her knees on the floor in front of him, great wracking sobs escaping her, leaving her shaking. John knelt beside her and enfolded her in his arms. She tried to fight him at first, but soon gave over to the warmth and protection only he could give her. He crooned into her hair soothing words that he hoped would reach her. “Shhhh, it’s all right, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave you alone through this, Doc. You’re safe.” He stopped when he felt her shaking her head to the negative against his chest.
“John, I’m not…” She tried talking but kept hiccupping as her sobs subsided. “I’m not safe, and you shouldn’t be here. I don’t deserve you. I’m a horrible, destructive monster. What happened to me? Where did I lose control? Oh my God, what have I done?” And the anguished sobs started anew. “Abe? Maggie and Mickey? Roman? Little Cassie? Oh, and Caroline? And Doug, that sweet, sweet man. Jack and Tony and someone I don’t even know who was able to escape me. I even attacked one of my own children and thought about killing another one.” Each name came with its own heartbreaking sob as though a part of her died with each person killed or attacked. “John, what kind of monster am I?”
“Doc, listen to me, look at me.”
“I can’t, I can’t.”
He lifted her face to his, but she saw no censure, only love and concern and bafflement. “Honey, I know you. I know that in no way could you have committed these crimes of your own free will. These are people you loved, people you knew for years. And you were with me when Vic was killed; you didn’t mention his name.”
“I didn’t kill Victor. Someone else must have.”
John took a minute to pull his thoughts together. He stood and helped Marlena to her feet as well. His intention was to get her to the couch, but she suddenly went rigid and pulled her arm violently away from him. “So you know. Not one of the people who figured this out lived to tell about it John. Some of them hadn’t even figured it out yet, but they were a threat so they had to go. Unfortunately, you’ve fallen into that category. I didn’t want to have to kill my husband, but you’ve left me no choice.” She saw the confusion cross his face as her personality took a 180 degree turn and she laughed out loud at his bewilderment. “Did you really think I’d allow you to turn me in? I will not spend one day in jail, and I certainly will not wait to be executed. I remember the hell Sami went through, and I won’t do it.” He knew he was safe, at least for the moment. She had no weapon in her hand, but he had to think fast. Unfortunately it was like someone had turned out the lights and he was wandering through the darkness with no light in sight. Marlena was here with him, but had disappeared in the time it took them to stand up. He couldn’t feel her anymore; she had been replaced by this empty shell of his wife. He decided to see if he could goad her into an admission, an admission of what he had no clue, but he needed more to go on.
“Who are you? Where is my wife? Did Stefano create you before his death, or Tony maybe? Where the hell is Doc?” He took the woman standing across from him roughly by the arm, hoping to scare her into talking to him. The absurdity of scaring a serial killer didn’t even cross his mind, so wrapped up was he in trying to figure out this craziness. “I don’t plan on turning you into the police or to a court appointed shrink. I just want my wife back, and you are going to tell me where she is, NOW!”
“Well, well, John, don’t you just think you’re so smart. If I’m not Marlena, then who am I? Why were you so nice to me just a few minutes ago, huh? You and your oversized ego; you think you know me so well. YOU DON’T KNOW ME AT ALL!” John was taken aback by her vehemence. He grabbed her hand then and saw it, a two inch scar running horizontally up from her right wrist. “Explain this then.”
“What, a scar? What about it?”
“Marlena doesn’t have a scar on her arm like this. I’ll ask you again, with a hell of a lot less patience. Who are you, and where is my wife?”
“You know John, you aren’t as naïve as we were led to believe. I’m not sure whether I like that or not. You want the truth, fine, but you are going to wish you never figured it out. You see, whether you know the truth or not, it doesn’t affect the outcome of this plan. Marlena will still get the lethal injection for all of the murders and you, well you will be left without your precious ‘Doc’ for the rest of your pitiful life.”
John took an involuntary step back from whoever this was standing in front of him. To look at her one would think she was Marlena, until you looked into her hazel eyes. In these eyes there was no glow of life, no laughter, no love. There was only hate and death and lifelessness. John had thousands of thoughts connecting in his brain cells, but kept his mouth shut. If he had learned anything from some of his deceased friends it was that you did not tip your hand to this woman. “All right, start talking.”
“Not here, follow me.” She bent over and picked up the letter opener, but John grabbed her wrist.
“I’m not going to touch that, but it doesn’t go anywhere I go.” She laughed condescendingly at him then.
“I only want it hidden in case someone else decides to come barging in on me.” She put it in the desk drawer by the front door. John watched in fascination as she opened a hidden pocket in the second drawer. How had he never noticed it before? “Simple, John, you never thought you had to look for hidden things before.” The imposter led John to the wall of the staircase and ran her fingers over the last panel in the corner. To his amazement, the panel gave way to a darkened room under the stairs. She flipped on a light switch and John gasped as he stared at the opposite wall. There in front of him was the portrait from Aremid. The one found when he, Marlena, and Tony went looking for answers.
“Why is that here? How come I never knew about this room under the stairs? Man, this is insane.” He ran a finger over his left eyebrow as he tried to make sense of it all.
“Would you care to sit down? This may take awhile.” There were two metal folding chairs on either side of the desk in the room. The naked bulb above the desk cast an eerie circle of light onto the top of the worn black veneer. The only other light in the room was the enhancement light over the portrait.
“I swear Marlena’s eyes are following me, looking at me. This whole thing is just too bizarre. Start talking, and I want to know all of it. Start with where my wife is.” He took one of the chairs and turned it around to straddle it. The woman walked to the portrait, stared at it for a moment, and then turned to John with a victorious gleam in her eyes.
“She’s here John, right in the room with you. Don’t you feel her?” She asked mockingly.
“Oh my God, Doc.” He bolted upright and stood in front of the picture. Her eyes, the eyes of his one true love stared back at him. He ran a finger lovingly down the side of her face in the portrait. She was here, but her spirit was somehow captured in the canvas.
“How did you do this? Why did you do this? How do I get her out of there? TELL ME!” Again he grabbed her roughly by the arm, but she didn’t even flinch.
“All in good time, John. You are on my schedule, and you will play this game by my rules. I am in charge, and the sooner you remember that, the better you’ll do.” Again John swallowed his anger and struggled to get his feelings under control. If he continually lost his temper, he might never be able to get Marlena back, so he would play along until he found a way to get the upper hand. He took one last look at the portrait, “I’ll get you out of there sweetheart, I promise. Just be strong for me a little bit longer. I love you, and I’m coming for you.”
“I love you too John.”
She was still with him.
John sat down backwards on the chair he had just vacated. “I’m listening.”
“I’m starting from the beginning. If you don’t want to be patient, too damn bad. Think of 1872, rolling green hills in Ireland, and a beautiful farm of about 350 acres. There are sheep, goats, and cattle. You’ll find a ramshackle chicken coop close to the weathered gray barn and about 10-20 cats running around, depending on the time of year. Up on the porch of the two story white wooden farmhouse are two sleeping hunting dogs, roused from their slumber by the stocky farmer who is lumbering through the rusty screen door.” John looked at this woman and wondered what the hell she was talking about, but he didn’t interrupt; she looked as though she was in some sort of trance, almost like she was truly in the past and could see everything that she was describing first hand. “The man on the porch is Lorcan Brady. His name means “fierce” and it fits him well. The farm he owns has been in his family for four generations.” She was droning on about the family history and “blah, blah, blah”, but John’s mind stuck on the man’s name. “Lorcan Brady? It can’t be a coincidence that the man’s last name is Brady and he’s from Ireland, but what the hell do the Bradys have to do with this? They lost two of their own in this murder spree. I hope she gets to the point soon. I have to find Doc, and I’m sick of wasting time.” John’s mind became alert again when she mentioned Anthony Dimera. “Of course this is who the recently deceased Tony was named for. The Dimeras were always trying to buy land from Lorcan’s family, but they were never interested in selling. The persistence of the Dimeras made the Brady clan suspicious, but a viable reason for wanting the land could never be determined. Basically, an all out turf war erupted, there was blood shed, and animosity has been present ever since.”
“You’re telling me that this whole Dimera – Brady vendetta started over a piece of land? That’s ridiculous!”
“Yes, well, nineteen people were hanged in the Salem Witch trials and all of that started over land as well. When you make a living off of the land, it is very important to you. Wouldn’t you be angry and volatile if somebody tried for a hostile take-over of Basic Black?”
“Maybe, but this war has been going on for generations, and the way I look at it, Stefano has done a lot more damage to the Bradys than anyone has done to him.”
“That’s why I’m here. I’m undoing the damage.”
“Undoing the…You killed Caroline and Roman Brady, and you attacked Shawn. You’re out to make people believe that the killer is Marlena and the Bradys love her like a daughter. Lady, I don’t get this at all.”
“You forgot the attack on Bo and Hope.”
“So, it did all start with that? My God, my wife has been missing all this time. How could I not know? How are you punishing the Dimeras by ripping the Brady family to shreds? It looks more like you’re doing their dirty work for them.”
“She hasn’t been gone all that time. She’s been here intermittently, but when something needs to be done, well, here I am. And you weren’t listening, I didn’t say I was here to punish the Dimeras; I said I was here to undo the damage they caused.”
“I need an explanation.”
“I’ll start with the Dimeras. They ruined the Bradys. They’ve kidnapped our family, brainwashed people into believing they are members of our family, and wreaked havoc on our stability. The evil influence had to be obliterated. Just getting rid of Stefano didn’t work because Tony popped up, and God only knows how many more children Stefano created for his little Dimera army. We had to get rid of the tainted ones. Bo and Hope were first because of Bo’s little trip to Ireland and, of course, Hope has a chip in her brain that can be reconnected at any time. We won’t take that chance. It was easy to make Rex look suspicious. He too needs to go, as he is a Dimera creation. Abe wasn’t originally on the list, but he just wouldn’t back down, and Jack, well, he brought the brick on himself with his fool-hearty superhero notions. Maggie had information that could not come out, and Caroline, well she was a warning to the elder Shawn. He let Bo come home alive from Ireland; he disobeyed us and he had to pay. It should have been a simple decision; Bo isn’t his son after all. Cassie, she died for the same reason Rex will have to go. Not to mention that she and Rex are the children of Kate who worked as a prostitute for Stefano. Roman, oh, we had such hopes for Roman, but Stefano took him and he couldn’t be saved. Then there was Tony. That was great fun.” She actually chuckled at the thought of Tony both at the circus being mauled by Horton and at the hospital as she said good-bye to him. John thought he might be sick listening to her, but he swallowed the bile and put his mask of indifference back into place. “Doug, again was a casualty of war, but he gave me a good fight. Of course, the biggest piece of the pie is Marlena herself. She was unfaithful to Roman; she left him for one of Stefano Dimera’s creations, and it is our greatest pleasure to bring her down for that transgression. We don’t even need to do anything to you. Without your ‘Doc’, eventually you’ll cease to exist.” She sat there looking extremely pleased with herself, waiting for John’s next question.
“So, you’ve obviously thought this through thoroughly, including imprisoning my wife in a portrait. Care to shed some light on that?”
“It’s a bit complicated, but I’ll do my best. It’s an old spell, but very effective. When…”
“Wait, did you say spell, as in Endora and the Wicked Witch of the East? You expect me to buy this?”
“I think if you just listen, you will eventually understand. Your wife’s spirit is after all captured in a portrait. Witchcraft is not as it is depicted on TV. We do not just go ‘zap’ and have things happen. There are spells and incantations involved. Everything must be carefully planned. As I started to say, this is an old spell.”
“Speaking of old, you aren’t going to tell me you’re 639 are you?” John had had just about enough of her land wars and witch talk. He was out of patience and his temper was hanging on by a thread.
“John, I need you.” His head whipped around at the sound of her voice and he knew he had to endure this woman’s insane prattling.
“Baby, hang in there. I’m coming for you.”
“For someone who needs me as badly as you do right now, you sure are bound and determined to piss me off aren’t you? To answer your question, no, I am not centuries old, just a few decades. Witchcraft is not inherent, it is learned, and if you would like to learn more, SHUT UP! All of this has been in the planning stages since before Marlena and Roman came back to Salem in 1991. Not all of the details fell into place until later of course, because we did not know the extent of Stefano’s treachery, but the major pieces were there. The portrait was painted by a beautiful older lady, and Stefano knew nothing of the spell being woven with each brush stroke. Basically, the spell is triggered with mirrors. When I want Marlena to be ‘in the real world’ I step in front of a mirror and ‘let her out’. There are times however when she is compelled to look into a mirror, and that is when I take charge again. It’s similar to a multiple personality thing, but Marlena and I are completely two separate entities.” She sat silently for a few minutes, and watched as John’s mind worked furiously trying to process this information.
“So, when we stood up from the floor earlier, Marlena glanced into the mirror in the living room and that constituted her change?”
“Yes, you’ve got it.”
“But how could you have completely changed bodies? You look just like her, except for the scar and the emotions in your eyes.”
“We don’t change bodies per se. It’s more like changing spirits. If this body were to die right now, I would die, but she would not. However, she would be forever trapped in that portrait.” John looked at her incredulously.
“So are you telling me you don’t have a body and you are sharing one with my wife? This is too much.”
“My body is in a deep sleep right now and being closely monitored. I told you this was difficult to explain. Think of it as me being under hypnosis.”
“Whatever you say. So, do you know what is going on with Doc, when she is actually her?”
“Yes, that’s why I can compel her to look into a mirror and then take over. So don’t think you can win against me. I see everything she does as though I am her, and she remembers everything I do as her. That’s why she is so convinced that she is guilty of these murders. Her subconscious can’t tell the difference between what I do and what she does.” John just filed all of this information away until he could sit down and process it a bit more.
“Can she see me from where she is? Is she in pain or even aware of what is going on around her?”
“She can see you, but she can’t hear you, and no she is not in pain, not physically anyway. Emotionally, she’s a mess.” The smirk on this woman’s face made John want to rip her limb from limb, but he knew he had to bide his time, and he never would have been able to physically hurt her anyway; she was in Marlena’s body.
“I need to get out of here for a while. I assume I can leave?”, he asked with a sarcastic bow of the head.
“Of course. You won’t be going to the police because that would mean the end of life for Marlena, and no one will believe the conversation we’ve had, so you can come and go as you wish.” Again the smugness came shining through, and it amazed John how often people underestimated the bond and the love that he and Marlena shared. He looked over at her portrait again and sent her his love, “Doc, I will find a way to fix this, I promise. I love you.”
“I trust you.”
John walked into his room at the Salem Inn and collapsed onto the bed. He had just spent the last two hours listening to an insane woman, but he knew she was telling the truth. He felt Marlena when he was with that portrait; he heard her voice. He knew she knew he would help her. “Think man, think. I need some help, but who will ever believe this? I gotta call him, he’s gotta know.”
“Bo, listen, it’s John. Yeah, I know it’s late, but I need to talk to you. Can you meet me at the Salem Inn? Yeah, just come to my room. How’s Hope doing? Tell her I’m sorry o.k.? Yeah, see ya in a few.” John was gulping down some aspirin when Bo knocked on the door.
“Hey, thanks for coming over here. I know you hated leaving Hope alone right now.”
“She’s not alone. She’s over at Mrs. H.’s with Julie, Shawn, Belle, and Zack. So what’s up man? Why’d you drag me over here at this time of night?”
“Bo, I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, but I need help and you’re the only person I trust right now, but you’ve gotta promise me that you’ll hear me out. You have to listen to the whole story. Promise me?” Bo’s gut wrenched, but the look in his one-time brother’s eyes propelled him to make a promise he wasn’t sure he wanted to make.
“All right. Now what’s this all about?” John sat down on the edge of the bed and motioned for Bo to take the chair. “You’re going to need it. Trust me.” John waited for Bo to sit and then began the tale of the evening. “At the cemetery tonight, I saw a figure running away. I didn’t lie to you when I told you I didn’t see who it was, but I wasn’t completely honest either. It was Doc.”
“What!? And you didn’t tell me? What were you thinking? I aughtta slap cuffs on you right now for withholding a potential witness. Why was Marlena run…?” John held up a hand and took a long breath. “I needed to question her Bo, but when I got to the penthouse, she was in some sort of trance, and then she collapsed and was so traumatized. She relived every single murder and attack while I was sitting there with her. I told her I would help her, and when we stood up she was back into killer mode. Bo, this is not Marlena killing our town. It’s some sort of spell.” It took Bo a minute, but the first word out of his mouth was, “Stefano?”
“Indirectly, but not completely at fault this time, if you can believe it.” John gave Bo the Reader’s Digest version of the story he had heard less than an hour earlier and was not surprised by the disbelief written all over Bo’s face. “Listen Bo, I need your help. If my plan doesn’t work, Doc will either be trapped in that damn painting forever, or she’ll be given a lethal injection. Either way, the killings stop now. Please, Bo, I can’t lose her. Think about what it would be like if that chip were to get reactivated in Hope’s brain. Wouldn’t you do anything in your power to get the real Hope back? And I already know the answer because you’ve already done it.”
“All right bro, but this is just a lot to handle. My own family is trying to take me out. You know, I heard some guys in the pubs in Ireland talking about lorcan like he was some sort of god or something. If he can cause all this to happen from the grave, I don’t think I want to know any more about him.”
“I’m sorry Bo; if I could have avoided telling you about your family’s involvement I would have.”
“Yeah, I know. Thanks. So, what’s your plan?”
“I need to get out to Smith Island and make sure all of the mirrors are gone from the Horton Cabin. I’m going to take Marlena out there and stay with her, but I need you to get into that secret room and destroy the portrait. I have a feeling that if that is gone, the spell will be too.”
“You don’t know for sure? It seems like a big gamble.”
“I’ve got nothing else to go on. This person, whoever she is, isn’t dumb. She only gave me information she thought I wouldn’t be able to use, but what she told me about the brush strokes stuck. You’re going to have to burn the canvas. I think it’s the only way to get rid of the spell completely.”
“Makes as much sense as it can I guess. How are you going to get Marlena to go to Smith Island with you?”
“I’m going to have to kidnap her again.”
“Again?”
“Long story. I’ll fill you in later.”
“Oh, here’s a key to the cabin. I was out there doing some repairs and trying to make sense out of this case. I haven’t given the key back to Mrs. H. yet. I’ll let her know you’ve got it.”
“Thanks Bo. I owe you one, and do me a favor? Keep this between us until we know what the outcome is.”
“You got it.”
“Thanks.” As soon as Bo was gone, John started packing some things for Smith Island.
“Baby, I hope this works. I have no idea what I’m up against, but I know I won’t give up because I’m fighting for you. Just a little longer Doc, I promise.”
“Hurry, John.” In his mind, Marlena sounded weaker than before and his sense of urgency increased. “Hang in there, Doc. I love you.”
John stocked the cabin with food, took down the mirror from the bathroom and rummaged through the drawers just to make sure there were no compact mirrors anywhere. He even put a film covering over the windows, just in case they would work the same way with a reflection. He wasn’t taking any risks, not with Marlena’s life at stake. He also made sure he packed an extra cell phone battery and the charger. He couldn’t remember how many times someone had been stuck out on the island with no way to get help. And then he smiled as he remembered Belle’s birth. He was able to be there because Marlena’s cell phone died. This time he needed to have communication though. He took the small motor boat around to the other side of the cabin and hid it in the cove. He would take the ferry back and forth with Marlena. Finally, after being out on Smith Island for three hours, he was ready. He rode the ferry back to Salem and drove to the penthouse, hoping to God this plan worked. She answered after the second ring of the bell, but he could tell she wasn’t happy to see him. “What are you doing here?” Her voice was laced with suspicion.
“I want to see my wife.”
“You know how to get into the room.”
“No, I want to talk to Marlena. We have a lot of unresolved issues, and I want her to know that I love her regardless of what she thinks she’s done. Like you said, I can’t save her, and to be honest with you, that’s all I’ve thought about for the last few hours. And dammit, I can’t come up with anything.” He hoped the frustration on his face was genuine, and she was buying his story. She gave him a knowing smile, as if to say, “I told you so.”
“I guess letting you talk to her for a while couldn’t hurt. It didn’t hurt on Valentine’s day, not like I like the whole lovey-dovey thing, but to keep it realistic, people need to see her every once in a while. Fine.” She turned around, but was stopped by an iron grip to her right arm. He yanked her wrist into the light and saw the scar, then dropped her hand.
“I just wanted to make sure first. Not that Marlena would talk to me the way you just did, but I don’t know what to trust right now.” “Except our love.”
She turned to the mirror then, and the change amazed John. Her features went from hard to soft, from angry to sad, her posture from ram-rod straight to slightly defeated. In the blink of an eye, her whole demeanor changed. Changes that no one but John would notice. She saw him in the mirror then. He pulled her out of its reflection and lifted her right wrist into the light. Softly, on the most sensitive part, he placed a feather-light kiss on her unblemished skin. She pulled her arm from his grasp, and asked, “Why are you here? After what I told you last night, I thought the next time I saw you I would be in chains.” Her face bore a look of utter despair.
“Doc, I don’t have much time. Please, just trust me. I love you and will never hurt you, but I need you to trust me now.” She saw nothing in his eyes but pure, unadulterated love and before she knew it, she had placed her hand back into his. In the next instant she was blindfolded, her wrists were tied gently behind her back, and her ankles were loosely shackled. She was completely immobile. She tried to scream, but John softly covered her mouth and told her again to trust him. With that, he picked her up and carried her out of the penthouse to his waiting vehicle. They were already on their way to the docks when the portrait in the hidden room fell from the nail on the wall.
In the SUV on their way to the ferry, John filled his furious wife in on as much of the story as he could, trying in vain to calm her.
“How dare you do this to me again? John Black, I don’t care what your explanations are, you will pay dearly for this.” With that she started to sob. “Celeste’s vision has to come true now doesn’t it? You have to kill me because of what I’ve done.”
“Shh, shh, baby. I promise you, I am not going to hurt you.” Reassurances don’t do much however, when the person you are trying to comfort is tied up and blindfolded in the back of a moving vehicle. “I’ll try to do a better job of explaining this once we’re at the Horton Cabin.”
“You’re taking me where? You’re not taking me to the police station? John, what’s going on?” Her voice was slightly hysterical.
“You weren’t listening to me at all were you? Some shrink you are; aren’t you supposed to listen to people?” He was laughing as he said this, hoping to ease her trepidation. Finally, he heard what he hoped was a small giggle from the back seat. When he checked the rearview mirror, sure enough, there was a small smile dancing across her lips.
“That’s my girl! We’re at the ferry.” Don’t worry about how you look, I told the ferry driver I was surprising you, so he knows you’re going to be blindfolded.” He stopped her and turned her toward him. He ran his left index finger along her jawline. “Doc, I am going to make this better again, please, I need you to believe me.”
“John, I don’t think anything will ever be better again.” Her broken voice caused John’s heart to beat erratically.
They boarded the ferry in silence and stayed that way until he got her settled in the cabin. Safely hidden in the mirrorless structure, he removed the blindfold and sat her on the couch to explain the whole story. First, he called Bo to let him know that Marlena was safe. The destruction of the portrait was set for the next evening. John wanted to see how Marlena reacted to the tale and how she survived as herself for the next 24 hours. He finally sat down on the opposite end of the sofa so she would have breathing room during this incredible story. As a doctor of science, Marlena had a difficult time believing that she was the victim of witchcraft, but somewhere deep in her heart she remembered what it felt to love the people who had died. She couldn’t have killed them, wouldn’t have done such heinous things. “And let’s face it Marlena, you were the victim of the Devil once, so why not a witch too?”
“John, how did you know? How did you figure out that I wasn’t me?” He answered her with a question of his own.
“Doc, would you be able to tell the difference between me and an imposter?”
“Yes, there is no one else in the world who makes me feel the way you do when we’re together.”
“There’s your answer then.”
”But John, you saw me running from the cemetery, you saw me holding the bloody letter opener, I confessed to you. How could you have believed in my innocence?”
“The same way you believed in me when everyone else thought I killed Tony. You stood by me, your faith never wavered.” He scooted closer to her on the couch, and took her face between her hands. “I see the real Marlena Evans Black when I look into these incredibly gorgeous eyes. I see your goodness, your love, your humanity. I also see your fears and your demons, but most of all I see your passion for life and for those whom you love. There is no way that all of that just disappears. There were times when I looked at who I thought was you, and there was nothing in those eyes. They were devoid of feeling.” She was caught up in the mesmerizing cadence of John’s voice, but she gladly gave herself over to it.
“What do you see in my eyes now?”
“Sadness for those who we lost, love for those who remain, and passion.”
“For whom?”
“For whom, what?”
She chuckled at his obtuseness, “For whom do you see the passion?”
“Oh, well, I hope it would be me, but I haven’t been able to be around you for the past few months, at least not without scaring you or royally ticking you off, so I was scared to say.” Tears began rolling down her cheeks at his vulnerability and the pain she had caused him.
“John, I’m so sorry. She must have been the one to kick you out, but then I was afraid to let you back in.”
“I know, Celeste’s prediction.”
”No, I know you would never hurt me. I was afraid I would hurt you. I couldn’t take the chance of making you one of my victims. I couldn’t have lived knowing…” Her agitation grew visibly with every word, so John shut her up in the most enjoyable way he knew how. He kissed her. Tentatively at first. He didn’t want to scare her off, but she had been without him for too long. She wrapped her slender arms around his neck and pulled him down with her onto the couch. She ran her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck while her other hand ran down the length of his back to his hip. She could feel his desire growing with each swipe of her tongue in his mouth. They were devouring one another, and then suddenly, John pulled back. They were both breathless, but he managed to speak. “Doc, I need you so much. It’s been too long, and I want to make this last. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“John, if I remember correctly, what we are doing is the farthest thing from pain I can imagine. I’ve waited for too long to be with you again. Please, make love to me, now.”
He looked into her golden eyes and knew he could deny her nothing.
As he slowly undressed her, he savored every new found inch of creamy silk that was her skin. When she was encased in nothing but a blush pink camisole and matching panties, he had trouble discerning where the fabric stopped and she began. He left her like that while he removed his shirt, pants, and socks. She simply stared at the magnificence in front of her. He still took her breath away. When he leaned over her again, she stilled him with her hand. “Wait, I just want to look at you. I’ve missed you so.” She ran her fingertips over the hardened planes of his chest and circled one of his nipples with a fingernail. She laughed as it puckered under her touch. “God, I love what you do to me, Doc.”
“Good, because I plan to do a whole lot more to you before the night is through.” The look in her eyes was John’s undoing and he took her mouth with his in a carnal kiss that simply stated, “you are mine.” He kissed her breast through the camisole, but he needed to feel her pressed up against him with no barriers between them. Both the camisole and panties found themselves on the floor with the other discarded clothing. He kissed her quickly and then scooped her up into his arms. He took three long strides and deposited her onto the bed. As he removed his black silk boxers, he stared longingly at his wife. There were times he still couldn’t believe that the beautiful creature in front of him was his wife. As he lay down beside her, he trailed one finger up the length of her left leg. He kissed her softly and said, almost inaudibly, “I’ve missed you so much; I thought I’d lost you.” She lifted his eyes to hers and returned his kiss,
“I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through. I’ve felt so disconnected these past few months. You have always been my anchor, my strength, and I’ve missed you so.” Again, they gave in to the passion, and this time there was no more talking, no more regrets. He took one breast in his hand and rolled the nipple until it hardened under his touch. He was rewarded with a breathy moan, but whether it belonged to Marlena or to him he couldn’t be sure. She had at that moment decided to run her finger gently along the underside of his engorged member and was circling the sensitive tip with her index finger. He dipped his head and laved at one breast and then the other. His right hand ran the length of her torso and gently skimmed all that made Marlena a woman before stilling the sawing motion of her legs. He could feel her frustration at not being able to move and it only served to heighten his excitement.
“John, please. I…need to feel…Oh God.”
His tongue was still dancing on her pebbled nipples, and he lost his control at her pleading. He gently separated her legs and ran his fingers over her center. The feel of her wetness was exhilarating and he raised one finger and ran it around the fullness of her bottom lip. Just as he was about to pull away, she grabbed his wrist and sucked his finger into her hot, wet mouth.
“Mmmm, I love the way I taste on your skin.”
Before she knew what to expect, she was on her back with John’s full weight on top of her and just his tip barely breaking her entrance.
“Yes…now…please John.”
“Baby, you have to stop talking to me like that, or I won’t make it much longer.”
That comment earned a seductive smile, “And just what makes you think I’m going to last much longer?” A soft moan escaped both of their lips as he finally, fully entered her. She thrust her hips up to meet him, but his strangled voice made her stop.
“Don’t…don’t move.” She was about to ask him why and then it dawned on her. There was a wicked gleam in her eye as she ran her tongue around the outer ridge of his ear. “What’s the matter baby? Are you in a tight spot?” She tightened the muscles of her inner walls, and heard her lover groan with an intense pleasure. He could take no more and drove into her with renewed urgency. She met him thrust for thrust, and she came as soon as she felt his warmth invade her private sanctum.
He lay on top of her as they both slowly came back to their senses. When he finally had the energy to roll off of her, she snuggled her head into his chest and spooned herself around him.
“Oh my, Mr. Black, you certainly haven’t lost your touch.”
“It’s easy to keep when I’m touching you.” She slapped him playfully on the arm and giggled at his misinterpretation of her words. She was running her hand lightly through the hair on his chest as she spoke again. “I still have to convince myself that you’re here, and I’m here, and we’re together. I’ve dreamed about being with you again for so long.”
“Doc, we have the rest of our lives to be together. I know that every time we say that, some psycho comes along and we end up apart, but we always find our way back to each other.”
“That’s one of the things I love about you John Black. You are my light in the darkness. Whenever life is horrid, you’re there making me feel safe. You’ve been there through the myriad kidnappings, and you even pulled me back from the brink of eternal darkness. The greatest gift is that you are here every day, loving me as much as I love you, reminding me how lucky I am to be a part of your life, because you are the very best part of mine.” He took her hand in his and intertwined their fingers.
“We have a bond that nothing and no one can separate, and we will be one another’s light through eternity. I love you Doc, always and forever.”
“I love you too, so very much.” They faded into dreamless sleep, content in one another’s arms.
A crash in the bathroom sent a surge of adrenaline through John’s body. “3:00 a.m.? What the hell? Doc!” “Doc, are you all right?” He stumbled into the bathroom and found it ransacked. He raced to the sound of another crash into the kitchen.
“Why aren’t there any damn mirrors in this place? John, I have to find a mirror. Where did you put them all? I need one. Now!” She was like a woman addicted and without her fix.
“Doc, look at me. Do you remember the story I told you earlier? Look at me. You need to remember why I took all of the mirrors.” Her eyes were wild and unfocused, and he finally took her chin in one hand and forced her to look at him. “Doc, there are no mirrors. Do you remember why?” She concentrated for a moment before answering.
“Yes, I remember, but I need to find one.”
“Doc, you need to fight this urge. I can’t do it for you. I’m not even sure how you begin to fight it, but I’ll be here through it all.” He took her in his arms and led her back to the bed. He tucked her in, then came around to the other side and crawled in beside her. He spooned himself up to her back and held her while she trembled and tried to fight off this craving for a mirror. If he hadn’t seen the wildness of her eyes, he might have had the impulse to laugh at the absurdity of it all. She slept fitfully through the rest of the night and finally stopped tossing about dawn. John got up, showered, and dressed so he could surprise Marlena with breakfast. She woke to the smell of coffee and toast and was slightly disappointed to find John in the kitchen instead of in bed with her.
“Hey Sailor, whatcha doin’ way over there? It’s kind of chilly over here without you.”
“I’ll have the coffee ready in a minute. That should warm you up.”
“It probably will, but I don’t want to be just warm; I want to be hot, with you.”
“Doc, you’re killin’ me here.” He walked to the bed holding the serving tray filled with their breakfast.
“Then come over here so I can give you some TLC.” As soon as he set the tray on the nightstand and sat down on the bed the battle was won. Marlena grabbed John by the back of the neck and gave him a kiss that sent him reeling. By the time they got to breakfast, the coffee was cold, but the whole cabin had been nicely heated.
When they had actually satisfied their stomachs’ appetites, they showered together, and went for a walk on the beach. The air was chilly, but refreshing, and they talked about everything from Belle and Shawn to when they first met. It was almost like watching their whole past unfold in front of them. Nothing had changed their love, yet everything was different. By the end of the walk they had both finally found peace amid the mistakes they had made. The sun was high in the sky when they headed back to the cabin. John kissed Marlena tenderly before they crossed the threshold, and she looked at him quizzically. “What was that for?”
“Just to remind you that I love you.”
“Mmm, as if I could ever forget.”
They entered the cabin, and John got busy in the kitchen preparing lunch.
“Can I help?” John just looked at her and burst out laughing.
“Oh, you. You act like I’m the worst person in the world to have in the kitchen.”
“You said it, Doc, not me.” He got a mock glare from her, but continued undeterred. “If you really want to help, you can open the soup.” She stuck her tongue out at him and smacked him on the rear before going in search of a can opener. He heard her rifling through different drawers and was about to rile her some more about her culinary skills when he turned to see her staring blankly into one of the drawers. Before his mind processed what was happening, she had a butcher knife in her left hand and was staring at her eyes reflected in the blade.
“Doc?” He asked, hoping for a miracle.
“Sorry, Johnny boy, wrong guess.” She gave him a swift kick in the gut and ran for the door. He followed her out, but couldn’t see her anywhere. He ventured beyond the overhang of the porch, and a small log made contact with the back of his skull. Before he was enveloped by the blackness he saw her running for the ferry.
He shook his head to try and clear the fog, but it only helped marginally. He glanced at his watch and figured that she was only ahead of him by about a half hour. He grabbed for his cell phone that was clipped to his belt, but it was gone. “Damn, damn, damn. She must have taken it.” He ran his hand through his hair and winced as he hit the goose egg the log had caused. “Doc, I’m going to get you out of this if it’s the last thing I do. I love you.”
“I love you, John. Take care.”
He ran for the motor boat then and raced for Salem as quickly as he could go. The boat he was in was faster than the ferry, but with her head start he figured he might be able to get to the penthouse at the same time as her. Once there he took the stairs two by two all the way to the top floor and let himself in with his key. He thought he had beaten her until he saw the door to the secret room ajar. He walked in that direction, but the smell of smoke brought him up short. “She couldn’t be”, but the sight through the glass doors to the balcony confirmed his worst fear. The portrait was ablaze, and it was too far gone to save. He sank to his knees but had no time to mourn. She was there in front of him, mocking him, jeering at his pain. He grabbed her wrist just to be sure, and the faint pink line glared at him. She had the advantage of surprise, just like with all of her other victims, but John would not go down without a good fight, of this she was sure.
“Why, why did you destroy her?” His voice was choked but still strong.
“You thought you had me beaten. She knew the story, and you were going to try to destroy me. It was either kill or be killed. I told you, you won’t win against me. Of course, this does mean that you also have to die. I can’t leave you behind to try and clear her name, not that you could, but you’ve surprised me, and I don’t like surprises.” She raised the butcher knife in front of John’s eyes and gave him her parting remark. “Parting is such sweet sorrow. NOT!” As she prepared to plunge the knife into John’s neck he made a counter move that knocked her off balance and gave him to get on his feet. She recovered quickly and came at him again, but his years as Stefano’s mercenary paid off and he dodged her one more time. He caught her from behind and tried to wrest the knife from her grip. She was strong but he was stronger. “I can’t let go. I won’t fail you again Doc.” Perhaps if he kept this woman alive, there would be a way to reunite the spirit and body of his soulmate. Just as he was taking the knife out of her hand she turned and the blade cut sharply up into her ribcage, snuffing her life as quickly as the portrait had burned.
“Oh my God, Doc. What have I done.” All John heard were those hated words of Celeste’s running monotonously through his brain, “It is written, you will kill your wife. John will kill Marlena.” Over and over the words haunted him. His last utterance was a guttural, “NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” before he succumbed the welcoming blackness and collapsed over his wife’s lifeless body.
Bo found them both a short time later and called for backup. He rolled John off of Marlena and checked for a pulse. It was there but weak. Upon closer examination, Bo found not a mark on John. He ran to the kitchen and brought back a glass of water. He poured some on John’s face and was relieved as he watched John’s eyelids flutter open. “Bo, I…Oh my God, Marlena…Doc.” He knelt down beside his wife’s still form and cradled her head in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Doc. I was supposed to protect you. How am I supposed to live without you?” John could hardly see Marlena’s face thorough his tears, but it was etched in his memory. Everything about her was still alive in his mind, but his heart was dead. The connection was gone.
Soon there was pandemonium as the paramedics and members of the Salem Police Force descended on the penthouse. John could take more. He pulled Bo aside and asked for one last favor for Marlena. “Bo, can you bury the Stalker suspicion? Please, leave Doc, her name. It’s all she has left.” Bo swallowed hard over the lump in his throat and promised John there would be no investigation. He had no idea how to pull it off, but he would do it for a man he still thought of as a brother. That taken care of, John stumbled up the stairs to the bedroom he and Marlena had shared for years but certainly not long enough. As he entered the quiet room her scent invaded his senses and his tears began anew. Talking to her was the only way he knew to get the pain to ease. “Doc, I miss you already. And this is more than what I ever felt when you left for conferences or even the past few months because I always knew you would be back, but not this time. I can’t even imagine what it will be like to live without you. It won’t even be able to be called living; I’ll just be existing. I’m not sure I’ll even be able to look at Belle, she reminds me so much of you. Doc, why, why is this happening now? Somehow you have to find a way to come back to me.” There was nothing but silence in the room. He went to the dresser and pulled out some sweats and a t-shirt. His hand pulled open another drawer then and the scent of lilacs engulfed him. He picked up the scented sachet out of her lingerie drawer and held it in his hand willing the scent to materialize into his beloved. Finally he put the heart shaped trinket back into the drawer and closed it reverently. After changing, he sat back down on the bed, exhausted. “Doc, we spent so much time feeling guilty about our love for each other, letting everyone else tell us how to think. We should have told them all to go take a flying leap, with Samantha at the top of that list. Now you’re gone, and I’m to blame. How did it ever come to this? How can I face each day knowing that I won’t hear your sweet laughter, or feel your hand in mine? I’m not ever going to be able to kiss those beautiful lips again, or look into the depths of those fathomless hazel eyes. Who am I going to bounce ideas off of, who am I going to tease about their atrocious culinary skills? Oh God, Doc, I will never again feel the joy I felt just looking into your beautiful face.” He got up and walked dejectedly into the bathroom. He braced himself on the sink and stared for endless minutes at the running water before raising his eyes to the mirror. He saw a man walking away over his shoulder and turned, but there was no one there. He splashed some cold water on his face and braced himself for the long night ahead. When he re-entered the bedroom, the comforter on the bed was raised as though someone were sleeping in Marlena’s spot. He rubbed his eyes and prepared himself for the disappointment of finding a pillow under the blanket. He stumbled backward when she extended her hand to him and muttered sleepily, “It’s about time you came back. I was getting cold.”
He shook his head to try and clear the fog, but it only helped marginally. He glanced at his watch and figured that she was only ahead of him by about a half hour. He grabbed for his cell phone that was clipped to his belt, but it was gone. “Damn, damn, damn. She must have taken it.” He ran his hand through his hair and winced as he hit the goose egg the log had caused. “Doc, I’m going to get you out of this if it’s the last thing I do. I love you.”
“I love you, John. Take care.”
He ran for the motor boat then and raced for Salem as quickly as he could go. The boat he was in was faster than the ferry, but with her head start he figured he might be able to get to the penthouse at the same time as her. Once there he took the stairs two by two all the way to the top floor and let himself in with his key. He thought he had beaten her until he saw the door to the secret room ajar. He walked in that direction, but the smell of smoke brought him up short. “She couldn’t be”, but the sight through the glass doors to the balcony confirmed his worst fear. The portrait was ablaze, and it was too far gone to save. He sank to his knees but had no time to mourn. She was there in front of him, mocking him, jeering at his pain. He grabbed her wrist just to be sure, and the faint pink line glared at him. She had the advantage of surprise, just like with all of her other victims, but John would not go down without a good fight, of this she was sure.
“Why, why did you destroy her?” His voice was choked but still strong.
“You thought you had me beaten. She knew the story, and you were going to try to destroy me. It was either kill or be killed. I told you, you won’t win against me. Of course, this does mean that you also have to die. I can’t leave you behind to try and clear her name, not that you could, but you’ve surprised me, and I don’t like surprises.” She raised the butcher knife in front of John’s eyes and gave him her parting remark. “Parting is such sweet sorrow. NOT!” As she prepared to plunge the knife into John’s neck he made a counter move that knocked her off balance and gave him to get on his feet. She recovered quickly and came at him again, but his years as Stefano’s mercenary paid off and he dodged her one more time. He caught her from behind and tried to wrest the knife from her grip. She was strong but he was stronger. “I can’t let go. I won’t fail you again Doc.” Perhaps if he kept this woman alive, there would be a way to reunite the spirit and body of his soulmate. Just as he was taking the knife out of her hand she turned and the blade cut sharply up into her ribcage, snuffing her life as quickly as the portrait had burned.
“Oh my God, Doc. What have I done.” All John heard were those hated words of Celeste’s running monotonously through his brain, “It is written, you will kill your wife. John will kill Marlena.” Over and over the words haunted him. His last utterance was a guttural, “NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” before he succumbed the welcoming blackness and collapsed over his wife’s lifeless body.
Bo found them both a short time later and called for backup. He rolled John off of Marlena and checked for a pulse. It was there but weak. Upon closer examination, Bo found not a mark on John. He ran to the kitchen and brought back a glass of water. He poured some on John’s face and was relieved as he watched John’s eyelids flutter open. “Bo, I…Oh my God, Marlena…Doc.” He knelt down beside his wife’s still form and cradled her head in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Doc. I was supposed to protect you. How am I supposed to live without you?” John could hardly see Marlena’s face thorough his tears, but it was etched in his memory. Everything about her was still alive in his mind, but his heart was dead. The connection was gone.
Soon there was pandemonium as the paramedics and members of the Salem Police Force descended on the penthouse. John could take more. He pulled Bo aside and asked for one last favor for Marlena. “Bo, can you bury the Stalker suspicion? Please, leave Doc, her name. It’s all she has left.” Bo swallowed hard over the lump in his throat and promised John there would be no investigation. He had no idea how to pull it off, but he would do it for a man he still thought of as a brother. That taken care of, John stumbled up the stairs to the bedroom he and Marlena had shared for years but certainly not long enough. As he entered the quiet room her scent invaded his senses and his tears began anew. Talking to her was the only way he knew to get the pain to ease. “Doc, I miss you already. And this is more than what I ever felt when you left for conferences or even the past few months because I always knew you would be back, but not this time. I can’t even imagine what it will be like to live without you. It won’t even be able to be called living; I’ll just be existing. I’m not sure I’ll even be able to look at Belle, she reminds me so much of you. Doc, why, why is this happening now? Somehow you have to find a way to come back to me.” There was nothing but silence in the room. He went to the dresser and pulled out some sweats and a t-shirt. His hand pulled open another drawer then and the scent of lilacs engulfed him. He picked up the scented sachet out of her lingerie drawer and held it in his hand willing the scent to materialize into his beloved. Finally he put the heart shaped trinket back into the drawer and closed it reverently. After changing, he sat back down on the bed, exhausted. “Doc, we spent so much time feeling guilty about our love for each other, letting everyone else tell us how to think. We should have told them all to go take a flying leap, with Samantha at the top of that list. Now you’re gone, and I’m to blame. How did it ever come to this? How can I face each day knowing that I won’t hear your sweet laughter, or feel your hand in mine? I’m not ever going to be able to kiss those beautiful lips again, or look into the depths of those fathomless hazel eyes. Who am I going to bounce ideas off of, who am I going to tease about their atrocious culinary skills? Oh God, Doc, I will never again feel the joy I felt just looking into your beautiful face.” He got up and walked dejectedly into the bathroom. He braced himself on the sink and stared for endless minutes at the running water before raising his eyes to the mirror. He saw a man walking away over his shoulder and turned, but there was no one there. He splashed some cold water on his face and braced himself for the long night ahead. When he re-entered the bedroom, the comforter on the bed was raised as though someone were sleeping in Marlena’s spot. He rubbed his eyes and prepared himself for the disappointment of finding a pillow under the blanket. He stumbled backward when she extended her hand to him and muttered sleepily, “It’s about time you came back. I was getting cold.”
He landed unceremoniously on his rear, and Marlena jumped out of bed and sat next to him on the floor.
“John, are you all right. Sweetheart, talk to me. You’re scaring me.” He just continued to stare. His heart a mixture of so many emotions. His mind focused on the beautiful angel seated next to him. Mentally he kept flashing from the pier so many years ago to the moment he was in now.
“Doc? But how?” Suddenly he bolted up right and raced for the stairs. Looking over the railing he saw no disturbance on the first level of the penthouse. He ran so quickly down the stairs he almost fell. Marlena was quick on his heels, wondering at his behavior, but saying nothing until he was ready to talk. He checked the panel under the stairs. Nothing moved. He ran to the outdoor balcony, but there were no remnants of anything having been burned. He turned in bewilderment and slowly approached her, hope flowing with the tears from his eyes. He reached out with his right hand and touched her cheek, ever so lightly, and with his left hand gently took her right arm in his. He brought her over to the desk and flicked on the small lamp. He held her right wrist under the light and wept. Suddenly, he enfolded her in his arms and sobbed. His entire body shook with relief and gratitude to God for bringing her back to him.
“Oh my God, baby, you’re here. I don’t understand. I held your lifeless body in my arms. Doc, how are you here? How is everything the same and yet not somehow?”
“John, what do you mean? We were upstairs sleeping, and you got up to use the bathroom, and then you came back in just a few minutes. What happened?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know. What day is it? What did we do today?” He was hoping to make some semblance of order out of it all. Marlena said he’d only been gone a few minutes, but his nightmare had lasted for months. He wasn’t even sure if it was a nightmare; it was all too real. He had no idea what had happened to him. Perhaps as a team they could piece it all together.
“What did we do today? John, Theo was christened today. We were at the church.”
“Oh my God, it’s just starting. How is Lexie? And Theo, how is he going to grow up without his daddy?” Abruptly a thought struck him, “Why are you here? Your flight from Colorado wasn’t supposed to get in until tomorrow.”
“I wanted to be here for Abe and Lexie on this special day. John, why does Theo have to grow up without his daddy? What’s wrong with Abe?”
“He’s dead Doc. He was shot at noon today.” She gave him a completely confused look.
“John, Abe isn’t dead. He was there for Theo’s christening. Why would you think he was dead?”
“I saw him, I saw the blood. I watched him flatline at the hospital.” The puzzlement was evident on John’s face. “Abe, Jack, Maggie, Caroline, Cassie, Roman, Tony, and Doug. Doc, they were all murdered. And then you.” His voice cracked as the horrid memories assaulted him.
“Honey, wait, no one has been murdered. All of those people are alive; I saw all of them at Theo’s christening today. Except Doug, he and Julie are still traipsing around the world somewhere. Please, start from the beginning. Wait, come over here on the couch. We’ll be more comfortable.” She helped him to his feet and could feel him still trembling as he struggled to understand what was happening. He began then and told her everything that had happened between then and now. Her face paled at the mention of her part in all those deaths and at her own demise by her husband’s hand, but she listened patiently, never taking her hands from his. He took his strength from her as tears coursed down his face. When at last he had recounted it all, she took him in her embrace and kissed away his tears.
“No wonder you seemed so disoriented when you saw me. I can assure you though that everyone who died in your mind is still very much alive and well.” A thought occurred to her then. “John, you mentioned someone behind you in the mirror. Mirrors figured a lot into your dream as well. I think we should go look at the bathroom mirror again. I have no idea why, but it seems important.” Her words made his throat catch as he remembered the compulsion for mirrors in his dream, but he nodded his ascent, and together they climbed the stairs. He flipped the switch in the bathroom and was momentarily blinded by the brightness. As he opened his eyes and focused on the mirror in front of him, he again saw a slight movement that was not his own. The small gesture was reminiscent of a wave, but had been so minor he could not be sure. He closed his eyes again and when he opened them he saw only himself in the mirror. He placed his open palm onto the cool glass, and turned to Marlena with the question in his eyes.
“Yes, I saw him.” The thought made her shudder, and he immediately took her in his arms.
“Whatever, whoever he was, he’s gone now. God Doc, I feel like Alice through the looking glass. Am I insane?”
“No, no, if you were insane, I never would have seen him, but I did.” She led him to the bed, and they climbed in together. He took her in his arms with her head on his chest and their legs intertwined. They always thought better when they were together like this. Two halves coming together to make a whole.
“John, I don’t want to go into ‘shrink mode’, as you so lovingly call it,” He chuckled at her choice of words. “but was there some sort of lesson, or theme that seemed to run through this whole experience?” She didn’t call it a dream, because after seeing someone in the mirror, she knew something extraordinary had happened to her husband.
“Aside from the horrible death theme, you mean?” He asked with a wry grin. “There was always guilt. Lexie for not believing her mom’s premonitions, Jennifer for taking Jack off of life support, not that Abby helped much there. Bo was wracked with it for not stopping the killer before she got to both Caroline and Roman. You lived every single day feeling as though you murdered your good friends. Mickey was inconsolable for not having been able to help Maggie. Then there was me. I killed you Doc, you died in my arms, and suddenly all of the time that we spent feeling guilty for loving each other didn’t matter. It was wasted time that should have been spent in one another’s arms. As I was talking to you in this room, after your death, I told you that we should have told everyone who ever tried to keep us apart to go take a flying leap. Samantha needs to be at the top of that list.” Marlena breathed a heavy sigh at the mention of Sami’s name. “Doc, I’m sorry, I know she’s your daughter, and you know I love her like she’s my own, but she needs help. We need to take a firm stand with her, and I’m sure Roman will agree.”
“You’re right. I just hate that I’m the reason she’s turned out the way she has.”
“No Doc. You aren’t. This is what my experience showed me. We have to let go of the guilt. Things work the way they do for a reason, and you and I both know we were meant to be together. Roman has moved on with Kate, and Sami needs to realize that she is still loved even though her parents aren’t together anymore. Carrie and Eric accepted it, so can Sami. Please, you have to promise me that we’ll work together to not feel guilty for loving each other, for being a part of each other’s souls.” He kissed her then, and there was no more guilt, only passion. It flared quickly and within moments there was no one else in the world but them.
John opened his eyes the next morning to the most beautiful sight in the world, his wife. He snuggled closer to her and inhaled the scent that was unique to her.
“Mmmm, morning handsome.”
“Good morning to you too, beautiful. How much time do we have before you have to see patients?”
“All the time you want. I’m going to call today and cancel all of my appointments. I really just want to spend the whole day with you.”
“Hmm, I guess that means I should play hooky too then, huh?”
“You’ve got the general idea.”
“So the question remains, what do we do with ourselves all day?”
“Why don’t you come a little closer and I’ll give you a hint.” She kissed his nose first, then each eyelid, and ran her tongue around the outer area of his ear before lightly biting his bottom lip.
“I love the way you think Mrs. Black, but I need way more than just a hint. I need it all baby.” They again lost themselves in each other. The ringing of the telephone brought them back to reality. John’s voice was raspy, “Don’t answer it Doc. They’ll give up eventually.” His kiss convinced her to let the phone ring.
When they finally decided to face the day, John listened to the answering machine.
“Mom, mom, if you’re there pick up. I need to talk to you! It’s an emergency! Please call me as soon as you get this message. Daddy is about to ruin his life. We have to stop him.” John shook his head at the hysteria in his step-daughter’s voice and tried to recall what her normal voice sounded like. For the life of him, he couldn’t.
“So, who called earlier?”
“Sami. She needs you in another mission to get you and Roman back together. Something about Roman being on the brink of ruin.” Marlena rolled her eyes at her husband’s theatrics but guessed that Sami’s phone call had been no less dramatic. She tried to imagine what had Sami so riled up this morning, but didn’t have to wait long for the answer.
“Mom, thank God you called back. We have to stop Daddy from making the biggest mistake of his life! Lucas told me that Dad stopped by to talk to him last night. Dad actually asked for Lucas’ permission to marry Kate. I’m going to have a whore for a step-mother. Mom, you have to help me. Daddy will listen to you. Tell him you still love him, tell you never stopped.” Marlena could tell Sami was just getting started, even though she had already been talking non-stop.
“Sami, SAMI. May I say something, please? Thank you. Why don’t you meet us for a late breakfast at the pub and we can talk about this, all right?”
“We? You’re bringing John? Mom, he shouldn’t be there. This is a family discussion, and he is not my family.”
“Fine, but he is mine, and he will be joining us. We’ll see you in about a half an hour.” With that Marlena hung up the phone and ran her fingers over her forehead. John came up behind her and tried to relax the knotted muscles in her shoulders.
“I just don’t know what to do with her, John. Where did my sweet baby girl go? I’ve known for a long time that Sami needed counseling, but I just kept hoping that I could reach her, you know? I should have known better. I’m at the root of her anger.”
“Hey, hey, no more guilt remember? I think Sami is very much like you.” Marlena gave him a puzzled look. “You, my beautiful wife, like very much to be in control, but you know how to balance your emotions and you know when it’s o.k. to let some control slip. Sami hasn’t learned that. She had so little control over anything growing up that now she needs to be in control of everything, even if it’s not something within her power to control. Does that make sense?”
“Yes, it does. I think I should put your name on my diplomas! Why couldn’t I see that?”
“Doc, she’s your little girl. You’re too close to the situation, and you’ve felt guilty for so long, you couldn’t step back and be objective. Besides, you live with a shrink long enough, you start talking like one!” She laughed as she swatted him on the arm, and then picked up her purse so they could meet Sami.
She was already there, pacing, when John and Marlena arrived. Sami ran to her mother the second she heard the chimes over the door.
“We have to stop him, Mom, we have to.”
“Sami, calm down just a bit, all right. Let’s sit down, get something to eat, and we’ll discuss this rationally.”
“Mom, how can you even think about food right now? Dad’s life is at stake!” Marlena shot a lascivious look at her husband before answering her daughter.
“Sweetie, I haven’t eaten since yesterday and I’ve been quite busy this morning already, so I’m going to eat something.” With that Marlena sat down in one of the booths and John sat down next to her. Lisa brought them both coffee and took their orders, while Sami fumed at her mother’s rebuff.
“You know Mom, you wouldn’t be acting like this if John weren’t here. You’d be grilling me for information about when and how Dad’s going to propose to Kate. You’d be right there with me to break them up so you and Daddy could get back together. But no, you have to play it cool in front of Joe Millionaire so his feelings don’t get hurt.” John flung his napkin onto the table and stood right in front of Sami, leaning down to make sure she didn’t miss a word he was about to say. “Samantha Gene, I’m going to do you the favor of leaving the table so I don’t say what I would really like to say to you right now. I will say this however, you need to realize that you are not the only person that exists in this world. You are not the only person who has feelings, and you are not the only person who deserves to be happy. I’m going to let you and your mom talk, but to be honest with you, I don’t think you’re going to like what she has to say either because we have both decided that we’re through giving in to your emotional blackmail.” He leaned over the booth and gave Marlena a quick kiss on the temple. “I’m going to go talk to Shawn and Caroline. Yell if you need me. I love you.”
“I love you too.” Both of them caught Sami’s eyes rolling and chose to ignore it.
“Sit down Samantha.” Sami’s gut wrenched. Very rarely did her mom ever call her anything but Sami or one of the pet names she was accustomed to. She had a feeling that her game was up, but she was never one to go down without a fight. She wasn’t ready for Marlena’s tact however.
“Sami, this behavior from you needs to stop.” Marlena held up her hand to forestall Sami’s interruption. “For once, you are going to listen to me without interruption. I think I deserve that small bit of respect from you.” Marlena reached across the table and took Sami’s hand in hers. “Sami, I understand why you are trying to get your dad and me back together. You think that if your daddy and I are married again and we’re this big happy family that all of your problems will just disappear, but that won’t happen. Just because Roman and I are divorced doesn’t mean that either of us love you any less. Your daddy is always going to love you, and so am I. But I have to be honest with you, sometimes I don’t like you very much.” Again she held up her hand to deflect Sami’s indignant response. “I’m sure you can think of a few times in the past where you didn’t like me much either.” Sami’s mind immediately flew to the Titan conference room, Belle’s baptism, and Carrie’s wedding. She bowed her head so her mom couldn’t see her tears, but left her hand in her mother’s. Somehow it gave her comfort and made her feel connected to Marlena, even though she didn’t like the train of this conversation. “Sami, I don’t want to hurt you, but every time I turn around I see you in some sort of self-destructive behavior and that scares me to death. I don’t want to lose you completely, but I’m afraid you’re getting to the point of no return. You were doing so well, and then everything happened with Brandon. I know you loved him Sami, but you have to learn to trust that people will love you in return, as long as you are honest with them. Love and relationships, any type of relationship, has to be built on trust. I’ve made my own mistakes with that and it’s taken me a long time to get past the guilt. Actually, I’m still working on it because it won’t happen overnight, but I want to help you find a way to be happy again too. Sami, I think…no, I would like, for you to see someone.” Sami’s head whipped up at the mention of counseling.
“No way Mom. I’m not letting someone shrink me the way you’re always trying to do. You just want me to go so you can spy on me, figure out all my ‘dirty little secrets’.”
“Sami, you need to talk to someone about all of your anger, and you know that whomever you see would never be able to tell me anything. Actually, I was thinking that maybe we could see someone together. Not for all of the sessions, but for a few of them. Maybe it would help us to become friends again. I don’t know, maybe I’ve hurt you too much for you to ever trust me again, but I’ve really missed shopping with you, talking about life with you, just being with you without the walls between us.” Marlena’s tears were killing Sami and she bowed her head again trying to get a grip on her anger. The problem was that she really missed her mom too, and she was getting tired of being angry all the time. She’d discovered that lately with Lucas too. It was easier to just let down the walls and hang out with him than to keep up with the antagonism, but then something would happen and all the bitterness was right back at the surface. Marlena watched her baby struggle with her emotions and sat patiently, waiting for an answer. Finally Sami raised her eyes to her mother’s and both women sat with tears spilling over onto their cheeks. Sami swallowed convulsively and then began with a light tremor in her voice. “Mom, I can’t promise you anything right now. I don’t know what will happen, but I think maybe I should see someone. I think it would be good for Will, maybe help me be a better mom.” Her voice dropped to a whisper then and Marlena had to strain to hear her. “I’ve missed you too, more than I wanted to admit because I was so angry with you, but I’m tired of fighting all the time.” She paused for a minute, gathering her courage. “Will you come with me, at least the first couple of times?”
“Oh sweet girl, I’ll be there whenever you want me there. I know you are choosing to do this on your own, but thank you for listening to me. I wish we would have this conversation a long time ago.”
“I’m not sure I would have been ready before this Mom. Will’s helped me to realize that I’m doing a lot of really stupid things lately. Pretty sad huh? When the child has to teach the parent.” Marlena looked at her daughter with a new found appreciation.
“Oh my goodness, you’ve grown so since having Will. I’m so proud of the mom you are and how much you love him.” Sami beamed at her mother’s compliment, knowing that they were hard to earn. Somehow, she would become the person she saw in her mother’s eyes. John saw that the conversation seemed to be going well and decided to test the waters. He motioned to Lisa that it was safe to bring the food over and followed her to the table. Marlena looked up, wiped the tears off of her face with the back of her hand, and smiled at her husband. He hadn’t seen that particular glimmer in her eyes for far too long and his heart swelled with joy at her happiness. Sami saw the unspoken exchange between the two and for once didn’t feel any animosity toward John. It surprised her, but was a relief at the same time. She was a long way from forgiving him, but she didn’t want to clash with him anymore either.
“Sami, would it be all right if I joined you for breakfast?” His question threw her. She had expected him to just sit down, and her first reaction was to look for sarcasm, but she saw none. He was honestly asking for her permission so she didn’t feel uncomfortable. “Um, sure, whatever.” It wasn’t the nicest answer, but there was no anger in it, and John could sense that Sami was confused by her own feelings. He let her lead the way with the conversation after one last question.
“Would you like something to eat, Sami?”
“Pancakes.” It was out of her mouth before she could stop it and she glanced shyly at John. She could tell the request affected him as much as it did her, but she hid her face so he wouldn’t see. He didn’t push her, but motioned to Lisa.
“Lisa, can we get an order of pancakes with both syrup and powdered sugar, please.”
“Sure. Do you need more coffee?”
“No. Doc?” She gave a negative shake and Lisa left to put through the order. A slightly uncomfortable silence descended. The chimes over the door rang and Will came bounding up to the table.
“Will, aren’t you supposed to be in school? What are you doing here?”
“Mom, the teachers had meetings today, so I only had a half day.” It always exasperated him that his mom forgot his schedule so often.
“Is it noon already? Well, why don’t you join us for something to eat then? You know, Lisa’s going to give our table to someone else pretty soon!” They all laughed, except Will, who wasn’t quite sure what to make of the situation, but was glad to see his mom happy for once. With Will there, there was no more uncomfortable silence as the conversation revolved around him. Shawn and Caroline joined them after the noon rush and asked if they would like to start paying rent on the table, to which they all laughed. “I guess we have been here a while, huh? What do you say Doc, should I take you shopping?”
“Do you really think I need to answer that?” To the group she qualified her statement with, “How much do you think I can fit in the trunk?” She wiggled her eyebrows and Shawn slapped John on the back sympathetically.
“Well, I’m guessin I won’t be be seein ya in here for a spell. You’ll be too broke to afford my chowder. John, lad, you got yourself in a bit a trouble.” They all laughed again as John let out a mock groan.
“All right, let’s go before anyone here gives you some expensive ideas.” Marlena got up and gave Caroline and Shawn hugs before to turning to Will. She kissed his forehead and gave him a quick squeeze. “Sorry Will, it’s one of those embarrassments we all have to live with.” She and Sami giggled as he squirmed. “Come here sweet girl.” She gave Sami a long hug. “I love you, you know. We’ll call tomorrow and make an appointment all right?” She felt Sami nod her ascent and kissed her lightly on the forehead before releasing her. “Mom, I’d hold for the jewelry store if I were you.” Again, they all laughed and John gave Sami a mock glare. “Thanks a lot kid. I’ll remember that!” He gave her arm a quick squeeze, and said “I love you” with his eyes, but she caught the look. She had seen it millions of times growing up, and even when she hated him, she had still seen it. She just never wanted to acknowledge it before.
As they walked out of the pub, John pulled Marlena into a fierce hug. “I take it things went well with Sami?”
“Better than I hoped they would. Oh John, some day I might get my Sami girl back. This is the first time in a long time I’ve felt that hope. Thank you for giving that to me.”
“You did all the talking Doc, I had nothing to do with it.”
“Yes, you were the catalyst. John, I can’t begin to imagine what you went through, but I know it taught you that we can’t live with guilt that guilt can cause us to do some pretty destructive things. I just never saw what I was allowing to be done to me, how I was letting my guilt manipulate me.”
“I think it was a pretty big wake-up call for us both Doc. It scared the hell out of me, making me think I’d lost so many friends and family, but it killed me when I thought I’d lost you. I have no idea how I would have survived it.”
“You don’t have to find out any time soon, because I’m here with you, and I don’t plan on going anywhere. You’re stuck with me Mr. Black.” And to prove her point she gave him a most delicious kiss. He continued kissing her neck and back up around her jawline before finding the sensitive spot behind her ear. His breath was a mere whisper, “Are you sure you want to go shopping? It’s so public, and I’d much rather take you someplace private right now.”
“Hmmm, private? What can we do in private that we can’t do at Salem Place?” She gave him a saucy wink and ran her hand along his taut back side. “I think maybe you should take me shopping and then we can go home and I can thank you properly for whatever it is you are going to buy me. If you’re really a good boy, maybe we stop in the lingerie shop and I’ll model for you later.” Before he could catch his breath, she started walking toward the Jeep. “Are you coming John? The sooner we get started, the sooner we get home.”
The Jarlena Journal 