Pfft, hasn’t he finished yet? I’m lying on my back trying to count the glow-in-the- dark stars on my ceiling. On top of me John is moving up and down. At least ten minutes in the same rhythm. He looks focused and there is sweat on his forehead. I have to try my hardest not to fall asleep. What time is it anyway? He’s breathing heavier and moaning. “Ooh yeah.” He thrusts three more times and rolls off me. He kisses my forehead, sighs, ‘thank you honey,’ and turns over. A little later I hear from his heavy breathing that he’s asleep. I get out of bed and move to the window. With a sad feeling I look into the street. This is what seems like the millionth time that I haven’t enjoyed the sex. John always wants to have sex on Saturday night, when he’s drunk after clubbing. He always wants the same boring position, and doesn’t even try to please me anymore. When we just started dating, about 18 months ago, we used to drive each other crazy in bed. Or in the shower. Or in his parents town house. That memory brings a smile to my face. But John starts to snore. He used to hold me for hours and shower me with kisses after making love. Does he still love me? And do I still love him? Should I break up with him? Shivering I crawl up to his warm body, and he puts an arm around me. I do still love him. I think…
The next morning John has already left before I wake up. Shit, I thought we were gonna do something nice together! Sleepily I grab my cellphone. A message: I’m at motor Crosse with Bo. I forgot. Sorry babe. I’m wide awake immediately. What does that jerk think? I dial his number. “Hey Mar!” He sounds like it’s normal to stand me up. “Great guy you are! We were spending this day together remember! That was planned ages ago!” “Uh…sorry. Can I make it up to you?” He puts on a sweet voice, but I’m not going to fall for it. Deadly serious I say, “I don’t know John. I think our relationship has been pretty rocky for quite some time now.” “Hey Mar, do we have to discuss this right now? Can’t we talk about this some other time?” Tsss, he thinks I’m kidding around. “Maybe we shouldn’t see each other for a little while,” I say with a stern voice, and hang up without waiting for a response. I feel a little nauseated right now.
At the end of the afternoon my mom knocks on my door. “Honey, what’s wrong? You haven’t shown any signs of life today.” She opens my door carefully and looks worried. I make room for her on my bed and tell her what’s going on between John and I. Not about the sex part, but that we might be breaking up. “He called me about eight times but I didn’t pick up. I just don’t know anymore Mom.” She puts her arm around me, and that gesture is enough to make me cry. “Oh honey,” Mom hushes. “You don’t have to break up, do you? You’re such a cute couple! Just talk to John. The solution will come.” For a moment I consider telling her about our sex life. No, I don’t do it. “Coming downstairs? I made some soup. You’ll see you feel better after you eat something.”
My mom was right. The soup was great and I can even smile again. We’re sitting on the couch with a cup of tea and a funny movie in the dvd player. My mom is an angel! The doorbell rings. “Maybe it’s John! Ah, Mom do you want to open the door? I don’t want to ruin my good mood. Tell him I’ll call him tomorrow.” When my mom returns she tells me it wasn’t him, and I feel disappointed. “There was absolutely no-one!” she says secretly. Then a red rose appears from behind her back. “But I think this is for you.” There’s a card attached to the rose. Make sure you’re sure at Salem Place. Wednesday night at 19:00. Surprise… “Pretty exciting,” my mom says. “See everything is going to work out.”
Monday and Tuesday go by pretty slowly. I can’t get my mind off my mysterious date. And the crazy thing is John claims he doesn’t know anything about it. When he called me on Monday, he even asked me if I wanted to go out with him! Could that rose be from someone else? I decide not to talk about it anymore and just go to Salem Place, Wednesday night. Maybe John is toying with me, maybe another cute guy is waiting for me… I put my short jeans skirt and high heels on. And some make up. It doesn’t hurt to look good. Bring on that romantic eve!
When I approach Salem Place I see a familiar coat. It is John. I’m curious where he… Suddenly someone grabs me from behind. Before I can scream a large hand covers my mouth. I try to get away, but my attacker is too strong. He pulls me backwards through a dark alley. My heart is beating in my throat like crazy. Stay sharp, I tell myself. I try to discover something from my kidnapper that can be useful to the police. He’s wearing black jeans, and black shoes. I can’t see anything else. But wait… that smell. John uses the same cologne. Remember that… Then the man blindfolds me and drags me into a house. My legs are trembling, and I’m almost dying of fear. The creep stands right behind me, pushes my hair to the side and whispers: “Pretty Lady, it’s me, John. But today I’m Big J, your kidnapper.” I want to turn around and slap him. How dare he scare me like that! But then I realise that the kidnapping is part of his plan. I decide to play along. John sits me down on a chair and ties my arms to the side. Through my blindfold I vaguely see some light, and on my left side I feel a warm glow. “Big J can you take my blindfold off?” I ask. He growls and I hear him rummage through something. Suddenly I hear music. When he unties my blindfold I see a room that is lit with candles, and a fireplace in one of the corners. In front of it is a blanket, and there’s a table and a chair in the room. Big J is wearing black pants, a black shirt and he has a black mask on. His muscular arms shine in the light of the fireplace. “Why did you kidnap me?” I ask with a childlike voice. He growls. “I work for the mob. You have to earn your freedom. How? You’ll find out”
“I’m hungry,” I say. It’s true. He disappears and comes back with a bowl of sushi. He grabs some and holds it in front of my mouth. When I want to bite he pulls away. He holds his neck in front of my face, and I give him a kiss. I take a bite of the sushi. It tastes great. For the next piece Big J takes his shirt off. I’m getting excited. Those tight pants, his chest, the masked face… For every bite I have to kiss his stomach in different places. He has goose bumps all over and I see the swelling in his pants. I try to free my arms. I want to touch him. I’m not allowed to do so. Big J loosens the rope, but when I take my sweater and jacket off, he ties my hands behind my back. There I am standing with only my skirt and heels on. “Tell me what to do. I’ll do anything if you release me!” J orders me to sit down on the blanket. He blindfolds me again. “You’re not allowed to see me anymore.” I hear him unzipping his pants and taking them off. “Lay down!”
I wait, shivering with excitement. I feel how he takes my socks and shoes off. His hands move up my legs. Then his fingers disappear under my skirt and lightly touch the area between my thighs. I hold my breath and hope he’ll continue. He doesn’t. His hands move away and I feel how he takes my thong off. My heart starts to pound a little faster. Will he enter me right away? Or… I don’t know what he’s up to and it’s driving me crazy! He pushes my skirt up. “You’re beautiful,” I hear him say. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do with you, yet. Maybe I’ll wait a little while.” He gets up and walks away. “John, come back. I want…” Loudly he says, “My name is Big J! I’ll make you wait longer, as a punishment.”
With my breath held, I wait. Is he still in the room? He didn’t leave, did he? Then I hear him kneel, close to me. I feel something tickle. A feather! The goose bumps shoot up, as the feather moves to the inner side of my thighs. My kidnapper caresses my sensitive spot and I buck my hips towards him. It feels good, but I want more. I want to feel him! “What’s wrong, you like it? You’re not supposed to,” he says teasingly. No, I think. I don’t want him to stop! “I hate it,” I lie. “Then you’re going to hate this even more…” I feel his tongue down there. Slow and soft. I want to move but I’m afraid he’s going to stop if I do. I close my eyes and try my hardest not to moan. He starts to move faster and more intensly. Shit, I can’t hold on much longer. But as I’m thinking that, he withdraws. Breathing heavily again, I wait. Nothing happens. I decide to take a chance. “You suck. My boyfriend is way better.” I feel two hands on my thighs. “Oh really? We’ll see about that.” Finally! He slides inside me and takes me hard. After a couple thrusts I feel my orgasm through my entire body. I shake a little and fall back on the floor. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cum so fast.” My attacker kisses me on my mouth. “You’ll get a second chance.”
He unties my blindfold and I’ve gotta blink to adjust my eyes to the light. John smiles, and looks down at me. “I think you liked it.” I blush. “It was pretty exciting. I uh… I missed that lately.” John closes his eyes and nods. “I know. That’s why I did this.” He gets a naughty look in his eyes. “Big J did his thing, now it’s my turn. Are you up for it?” I give him a challenging look. “That depends on you. Why don’t you show me what you got?” I see John’s head disappear between my legs, and I close my eye
; The End
The Jarlena Journal 