She stood in front of the mirror like every bride should, twirling to make sure that she looked perfect for her big day. But Marlena Evans was hiding a wealth of emotion behind her masked brown eyes, even as she attempted to maintain the front that today was the happiest day of her life.
Her thoughts were tumultuous as she tried to banish thoughts of John Black from her mind, his striking face and body so masculine in appearance, but his haunting eyes hiding a propensity for passion so strong that it made her shudder to even think of it. Her slim body trembled just thinking of the way those blue eyes could send shivers of desire through her entire body, his merest touch have her willing his lips to find hers. Gazing into the mirror, Marlena noticed the slight flush in her cheeks that had just now suffused… she resolved not to think of John Black any more.
Letting out a deep sigh, Marlena gathered her bouquet of the sweetest smelling roses, and opened the door to the brides room, knowing that it was time to give her heart to someone else.
John paused outside the room, his heart beating strongly in his chest. He couldn’t let her go through with this sham of a wedding to Alex North. He thought that last night he had gotten through to her, that when he had turned up at the pre-wedding party and kissed her like there was no tomorrow, she had finally realised what she had been trying for so long to deny. That she loved and desired John… not Alex, the man that she had committed herself to marrying. Had he imagined the trembling of her fragile body as he had pressed her against him? Had he misread the response that she had been so eager to provide? No, John knew how to read her as well as he knew himself. Marlena Evans was in love with him… and he would be damned if he would let her make the biggest mistake of her life by marrying someone else.
The door opened, and there she stood. John almost forgot what he was here for as his eyes darkened to a deep black, his body reacting at just the sight of her. With abandon, his eyes travelled the length of her body, the full white dress that dipped down into a v at her cleavage, displaying a modestly tempting view of what lay beneath. Her face, although shocked at the minute, displayed minimal make-up, a hint of glossy coral at her soft lips, and a dusting of blush across her silken cheeks. Her golden hair sat piled atop her head, with lose tendrils framing and softening her features. John wanted nothing more than to reach out and run his fingers over one of those loose strands, feel her moist lips beneath his. The thought caused his already tight body, to become even more aroused, and the evidence pressed against the material of his black pants. He couldn’t help but be amazed at the almost too powerful effect that Marlena had on his libido. Right now, all he wanted, was to pull her to him, and take her against the wall of
the brides room, until she begged for him not to stop. Then, he knew, she would again be his.
It took all John’s self-restraint to stop him from moving closer towards the pale beauty, all the colour now drained from her face, as she whispered his name.
Her entire body shook with the knowledge of his presence. Marlena knew that she had to move, in order to break the powerful spell that John Black had over her mind and body, but as much as she tried to force her legs to move, they wouldn’t obey. He looked sinfully gorgeous, with his black pants making powerful legs look longer, and a snowy white shirt, the sleeves rolled up to show arms that Marlena only dreamed about. His eyes were half-closed as he gazed at her, her lips the main focus of his undivided attention, and she innately noticed the way he ran a hand through his hair in sexual frustration. Marlenacouldn’t help it when her eyes darkened with lust at the sight of his hardness pressing against his pants. Finding herself wondering what it would be like for him to take her to bed. Finding herself wishing that her life had taken a different path these past months. But Marlena had convinced herself that John Black no longer
felt anything but lust towards her… he had stopped telling her that he still loved her, months ago… and she was convinced that he was still in love with Kate whom he had been living with since.
“I have to go,” she finally managed to whisper huskily, her voice betraying the emotion that raged beneath those tawny eyes that haunted him daily. “No, Marlena… I know that you don’t want this…” He moved towards her, taking one hand in tender appeal, unable to conceal his victory as her breath caught in her throat. “You want me!”
Marlena closed her eyes briefly, in order to regain control over the desire that had possessed her. At just the slightest of touches, her arm tingled all over, her body painfully aware of just how much she wanted him, and how she had no power over her own reactions to his heat. She knew, even as her eyes slammed closed, that he would take that as an admission of her lust, but right now she didn’t care. Taking a shuddering breath she attempted to speak. “No…”But before she could convince even herself that she didn’t want him, John had raised her limp hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on the trembling fingers. Then turning it over, his lips found the delicate wrist, savouring the delight of the frantic pulse that beat there.
It was as if her entire body was on fire. “Please… don’t do that…” her voice strained, and her breathing heavy as she tried not to let herself become seduced by the feelings that his kisses evoked. “Why not?” She heard him murmur, and the sound of his huskiness sent her desire spiralling out of control. “When you and I both want the same thing? Don’t try to deny that you want me, Marlena…” he breathed, continuing tender caresses of her hands that stopped all coherent thought.
There was no doubt that Marlena was affected by his touch, John knew that by the way her face was flushed with an aroused glow, her lips parted and her eyes hooded with unwanted passion. But the mere fact that she stood before him in a satin wedding dress, filled John with desperate hopes that one day she would dress like that for him. That one day, he would be waiting at the end of the aisle to meet her. The realisation that it might never happen, caused John to tense up, his jaw tightening, even as he grasped tighter to her hand. A hand that he wanted running over his aching body… With new determination, John tilted Marlena’s face so that she would be forced to look into his eyes, and the rawness of her emotion hit him. “Surely you are not going to deny it…” he pursued, watching the tumult of thoughts become exposed through the golden hue of her eyes. Just like the storm that raged outside the church, their own private storm was right here in this room.
“Why do you insist on tormenting me like this?” Marlena spoke in a voice that she barely recognised, thick with desire and regret and guilt. “Do I torment you?” His thumb brushing over her cheek and down the expanse of her long creamy neck, made Marlena extremely aware of every thread of the satin that clung to her body, her sensitised nipples straining against the flimsy bra that held them in place. With trembling lips Marlena looked into his eyes. “You know you do.”
Her pleading tone sent a stab of guilt through him, but it was only brief, for John knew that this was his last chance to win her. If he failed, she would be lost to him forever. “Then by all means, tell me how I torment your beautiful mind.” His voice had dropped to a whisper as his words fell close on her skin, his lips brushing her jaw, and his fingers continuing their exploration of her neck. Her skin like the purest of silk, John needed to taste it… but more than that, he wanted to possess her, body and soul.
She took in a deep, shuddering breath, hoping to steady her voice, but failing miserably as John’s lips played havoc with her body. It was an arousal such as she couldn’t remember ever feeling… finding herself wondering if their relationship prior to her amnesia had evoked such an intense need for fulfilment. Instead of the sensible reply that she had hoped to articulate, Marlena was ashamed as she evoked a low moan from the very back of her throat. Unconsciously she let her neck fall backwards, unwittingly giving John all the access that he needed, as his lips took the opportunity and moved against her throat. “Please…?” she found herself pleading, her mind asking for him to stop this relentless seduction, yet her tone betraying her need for him to continue.
“Please what, Marlena?” He smiled against her skin, moving up so that his lips were poised above hers. The sweetness of her breath assaulted him, and her lips were moist and parted, begging to be kissed. “Please kiss you…?” Before she could react, John pressed his lips to hers, moving against them in a slow and steady rhythm.
Marlena opened her mouth and at once felt his tongue invade hers. Her hands moved to the back of his head and tangled in the short, black hairs that finished at the nape of his neck. He tasted the way a man should, she thought. Like passion and heat and masculinity that could not be denied. She could feel the press of his arousal against her stomach, and she found herself sinfully wishing that she could allow herself to fall for his seduction, to feel his bare skin against hers. She almost shuddered at the thought of touching his chest, clothes no longer a barrier. If the rock solidness that she could feel as her breasts pressed against his shirt was anything to go by, Marlena knew that John naked, would be the epitome of all men.
Even so, a nagging thought persisted. Marlena was a woman who prided herself on her morals, and even as the kiss continued , she was expected to be walking down the aisle to give herself to another man. A man whom she now realised she couldn’t possibly ever love. Not the way she loved John. So, with all of the strength that she could find within herself, Marlena pushed at John’s muscular shoulders, her lips leaving his and instantly feeling the loss. “NO!” she panted heavily, as he gazed into her eyes with an intensity that scared her. “This is wrong. I am about to marry another man…”
“A man that you don’t love!” John’s eyes challenged her. She never failed to be astonished by the honesty that shone through the brilliant blueness of those orbs. In the past ten minutes, they had shown sadness, passion, and now an anger that challenged.
“I do…” She was stopped by his fingers moving to cover her lips.
“No… you don’t! If you did, you couldn’t have responded to me like you did just now… you couldn’t suddenly forget that your fiancée existed while begging to make love to me!”
“John, you are nothing but a PIG!” Rage consumed her, as Marlena felt her entire body shudder with the violence of it. So he had just kissed her to prove that she wanted him? Not that she was denying it, but wanting and loving were two very different things… and while she knew that the desire between them was mutual, the love was only on one side… hers!
A knock at the door interrupted the sparks of uninhibited anger that filled the room. Their tension was evident now, as they stared at each other vehemently, and Marlena fighting tears that threatened to spill over her face. “Marlena… Alex is asking after you…” The voice was that of Maggie, Marlena’s best friend and matron of honour. “John, could you please tell Maggie that I need a few moments? And can you please leave me alone?” A lone tear slid down one cheek and John couldn’t resist brushing it away with the pad of his thumb. “I will tell Maggie,” he spoke huskily. “But then, you and I need to finish this conversation.”
As John retreated, Marlena panicked, her heart beating wildly. In the past few moments, she had come to two decisions; that she couldn’t marry Alex today; and that she had to get away from John. If she stayed in the same room with him, the electric passion that seemed to sizzle between them would engulf them both, and Marlena would be powerless to stop it. Yet, even if she gave her body to him in the way that she truly wanted, she would be the one who ended up getting burned.
Marlena opened the small window that was her only escape. She dared not go out the same door as John had left by, for fear that she would meet him. She cursed the beautiful wedding gown as she struggled to squeeze through the tiny space, snagging the billowing fabric only once as she did so. As soon as she got outside, a sheet of rain poured over her. Marlena was somewhat startled, having been completely oblivious to the torrential conditions outside while her body and mind were preoccupied with John.
Immediately the satin of the wedding dress clung to her slim body, and it was a struggle to move. Her destination, the Salem Inn, only a block away, seemed almost too far. But the turmoil of Marlena’s mind, knowing that she must get away before John could come after her, urged her forwards in the uncharacteristic blackness of the sky. Once she got there, she could lock her room, and even if he came looking for her, Marlena knew that she would be safe… not from a fear of him, but of what she would let him do to her.
Afterwards Marlena could never be sure of the exact moment when she had realised that John was following her. But even without actually seeing him for herself, she knew without a doubt that it was John. Chasing her, pursuing her. For a moment her heart stopped, even as she continued to move along the grass, not running because of the wet grass, but stumbling forwards. Marlena was desperate to escape him and to escape her deep connection with him. The rain beat down on her, plastering her soft hair to her scalp, moulding the satin to her shivering form. “No… please… leave me alone.” The words continued to form on her lips like a rhythm, but no sound issued forth. In the deafening storm, they wouldn’t have been audible anyway.
Suddenly, Marlena felt an iron grip on her wrist, and her utter desperation finally gave way to tears. She felt herself being pulled as John continued to run, and with newfound strength she tried to loosen his hold on her, clawing and scratching at his hands in the darkness. “Let go of me,” she choked out, willing him to listen to her.
“Do you want me to carry you?” John found his voice shaking with an intensity of rage that he had never felt before. His grip tightened on Marlena’s wrist, and somewhere deep within himself, he knew he must be hurting her. But right now his only concern was for her safety, and being outside in the bitter cold hammering rain was not safe. Somewhere along the way, Marlena stumbled, and immediately he slowed to help her. But she slapped away his hands angrily.
“Don’t…” her warning words.
Without looking at the staff at the Salem Inn, John continued to drag Marlena until they had safely reached her room. Her hands shook as she tried to insert the key into the lock, her entire body shaking from the cold, and the misery that had engulfed her. She could only gasp when John’s hand covered hers and took the key from her roughly, choking back a sob as she realised just how furious he was.
When John pushed Marlena into the room ahead of him, she merely stood in the entrance, her eyes fixed on a spot on the floor, as she tried not to cry. Water ran down her body, from her hair and her face and the soggy mass of satin that cloaked her bare skin. She could only watch as it pooled at her feet.
By the time John walked past Marlena, having secured the doors, he had already peeled off his wet shirt, the hard muscles of his chest tightening with tension as he strode into the bathroom, emerging a moment later with two towels.
“Here…” he offered, tossing one in her direction, and as Marlena looked up, she saw the coldness that masked his eyes like steel. Gulping, she felt like a chastised child, but she couldn’t look away, as his attention moved from her to the task at hand. She watched with baited breath, as the towel ran through his hair and over the broad expanse of tanned chest. The muscles in his arms rippled as they moved. Her eyes widened with both desire and fear.
“You’d better get out of that dress!” It was an order, although spoken in a considerably calmer tone. “You’ll get sick!” Marlena just stood limply, looking and feeling like a drowned rat. “Did you hear me?” His harshness made her jump. It startled her into action though, as she reached behind her to attempt the impossible task. “I can’t do it by myself,” she said weakly, her hands outstretching in surrender, as if knowing that if he helped her, her heart would be lost.
With an impatient scowl, John strode over to where Marlena stood shivering. His long fingers made quick work of the intricate lacing at the back of the dress, and as mad as he was, he had to suck in a deep, lustful breath as the creamy skin of her back came into view. As he drew the dress down her body, his fingers brushed against her skin, and John watched mesmerised as goose bumps rose up on her flesh. His entire body ached to lower his lips to her shoulder.
Gathering all of the rage that he felt for her stupid stunt, John forced himself to stop thinking of making love to Marlena. He snatched the dry towel that she held loosely and dried her body, his movements seemingly rough and uncaring. Only when she was satisfactorily dry did John stop to look at Marlena, her face a picture of misery. “Why did you run away?” he snapped, unable to stop his gaze from moving down her ody. The lacy white panties and bra might as well have not been there at all… for John could clearly see the rosy buds of her breasts straining against the wet material, and the soft blonde curls that covered her centre. He almost had to physically restrain himself from reaching out to cup her breasts in his yearning hands.
“You know why!” Her words were almost inaudible, as she whispered into to silence that had descended on the room, her entire face brightening with the embarrassment that she could not control herself around him. Even now, Marlena found herself watching John lustily, wanting nothing more than for him to show her an escape from the reality that had become her life. She wanted to feel the tingles that shot through her at his touch, the electricity of his kisses. Marlena knew at that moment, that she could no longer deny what she wanted. Even if she ran the risk of waking up to find him gone, she was determined to have this one night with him.
“Are you that frightened of me?” His voice had dropped an octave, and Marlena shivered as he moved towards her, taking her bare shoulders in his hands.
“Are you so frightened of what I will do to you? Hmmmm?” His voice was low and husky as his fingers brushed over her shoulders. “You must know that I would NEVER intentionally hurt you, Marlena!” With one index finger, he raised her chin, watching as it trembled at his touch, filled with adoration for the woman in front of him.
“I’m not frightened of you!” Her golden eyes met his, shining with unshed tears. “I’m frightened of my feelings for you…”
“Don’t be scared Marlena. I love you… I always will!” His hands moved up and down her arms, caressing her, willing her to let go. “If you want me to leave, I will!”
At that moment, Marlena felt her heart stop, and her being fill with unequalled happiness. Tentatively she reached up to his face and took it between her hands, exploring the smooth skin of his cheeks and jaw, before moving to his shoulders. Standing on tip-toes she placed her lips on his clumsily, and didn’t fail to respond when John’s arms closed fiercely around her as he deepened the kiss.
When they parted, John whispered her name against her lips, before again taking her lips with his, deepening them to feverish heights of pleasure. Her soft moan and the willingness with which she returned his kisses, encouraged John to touch her. His hands moved over the long expanse of her creamy neck and across her collarbone. Then, with his thumbs, he slid the flimsy straps of her bra from her shoulders, and unhooked the clasps at her back, so that the obstacle fell away.
Taking his lips from hers, John pulled back, holding Marlena at arms length as he gazed at her, the hard peaks of her nipples straining towards him.
Before she could react, John pulled Marlena hard up against him, so that their chests were pressed together in a painfully erotic sensation. Marlena’s hands moved over the crisp black hairs of John’s chest and travelled over his strong shoulders, coming to rest on his back. “John, I want you,” she murmured huskily, her eyes deep and hooded as she looked at his lips.
Capturing her lips again with his, John let out a low moan into her mouth, as her tongue teased his. Her hands were now active on his achingly aroused body, moving slowly down to his pants, her nails raking along his skin. Finally she reached his zipper, and as John’s hands in turn skimmed her stomach, he felt the urgency with which she pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift movement. Finding the lace of her panties at her hips, John hooked his thumbs inside and pulled them downwards, parting his lips from hers so that he could see her beauty.
Then nothing was between them, except moans and gasps of pleasure, as their mouths met. John lifted her and immediately felt her wetness press against his stomach as she wrapped her long, slender legs around his waist. How he needed this woman, John found himself thinking. His life was nothing without her. He knew that he could make love to her for an eternity and never tire of the way she could make him feel. With that thought in mind, John almost threw her on the bed, his lips immediately finding the peaks of her breasts, sucking and nipping at them until they became as hard as pebbles beneath his tongue.
Turning them over, Marlena moved her own lips down his masculine body, revelling in the anticipation of what was to come. She took his arousal in her slender hands and moved over it, hardening it into a frenzied state, begging for release. “I love that I can do this to you,” she purred, gazing lovingly at the length of him. At that moment, she felt more like a woman than she had ever felt, knowing that she had so much power over him. “Oh baby,” John shuddered, pulling her face back up to meet his, and taking her lips for a kiss. “All you have to do is walk into the room and I am aroused.” Marlena laughed a girlish giggle, unresisting as he rolled on top of her and licked a line down the centre of her body from her neck to the top of her soft mound. Drawing in a sharp gasp, as his fingers parted her centre and moved over her. “And I love that I can do this to you…” he husked, his breath falling on her wetness, before moving achingly slowly over her sweet centre, continuing until she thrust her hips up to meet his mouth.
She spoke his name over and over again, as he positioned his shaft over her and entered possessively, knowing without a doubt that no other man could possibly evoke such responses in her. It didn’t take them long, John’s hands finding her breasts and his lips finding hers as they climaxed, their bodies shuddering their release for long moments.
“You have no idea how much I love you John,” Marlena whispered into his ear as he pulled her into his chest. “Oh but I think I do, baby! I have always loved you!” His mouth against the sweet scent of her hair. John could hardly believe that just this morning, the love of his life had been about to marry another man, but that now she was lying in his arms. He pulled her closer as her face found his chest and her eyes closed. “I don’t know why I thought that marrying Alex was the right thing… not when my feelings for you were so strong…” Her voice was quiet as she drifted into sleep, and John’s tender response died on his lips.
He listened to the sounds of the storm outside that still raged. The storm that had effectively brought them together.
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The Jarlena Journal 