Take Me Home – By obsessedjarlenafan

A single golden leaf pirouetted down an invisible spiral of breeze, spinning through the air and floating down the twirling course as it made its final dance to mother earth.  It landed softly at the feet of a young woman making her way through the park, her head bent down, eyes glued to the damp concrete, her hands buried deep within the pockets of her expensive red trench coat.  She stopped in her tracks, staring at the colored leaf. Beautiful, yet dead. Just like me, she thought.

The beautiful blonde took a deep breath as she looked up from the damp ground blanketed with a few scattered leaves.  Her eyes wandered aimlessly until they settled on the aflame hills in the distance, a riot of green, gold, and red. Looking at the beauty ahead of her, she wore a smile that could light up the world but inside she crumbled easily under the weight of her thoughts.

The ringing of her phone startled her out of her thoughts.  Searching through her Michael Kors purse, she found her phone buried under her ID badge.  Taking note of who the caller was, she ignored it and put her purse back on her shoulder. “I don’t know how I’m going to face you right now,” she whispered in the wind.

She continued her walk, the clicking of her heals and the whisper of the wind providing the only sound that peaceful evening.  She looked on as the leaves fell from the trees. It was quite breathtaking, at the most. Utterly beautiful. First a green leaf, then shortly afterwards a yellow leaf stained with bits of orange and green.  They hit the ground lightly, making no sound. Soon, without even realizing it, she found herself in a place that was all too familiar to her. Somewhere she hadn’t visited in almost a year. The pier. Their pier.

Smiling at a passing couple, Marlena couldn’t help but to feel jealous.  She observed them walking in the distance, holding hands and laughing. Suddenly a feeling of guilt settled deep within her.  What have you done Marlena?  Trying to avoid the thoughts creeping into her mind, she tore her eyes away from the couple and walked closer to gaze at the still blue water.

Not having realized how much she’d missed it here until now, Marlena got lost in her thoughts and the beauty before her, only to be pulled from her thoughts by the sound of footsteps coming from the stairs behind her.

She knew he was there before he even said a word.  She could just feel him.

Not turning around to acknowledge the new occupant of the pier, Marlena silently hoped that he would turn and walk back up those stairs once he noticed her.  She hoped that he would leave her alone.

No such luck.  “Marlena.” It’s said with a voice devoid of emotions but the sound of his voice still brought shivers down her spine and caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up.  “It’s a beautiful day isn’t it?”

Before she knew it, he was standing beside her by the water.  Digging her hands even deeper into her pockets, she released a breath she didn’t know she had been holding.  “What are you doing here, John?” She could not bring herself to look at him much less be standing this close to him so she took a few steps to the right, putting more space between the two of them.  How did we end up here?

“I don’t know,” he sighed deeply, looking her over from the side.  She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. “You know, I haven’t been down here in a really long time. Not since that night,” he paused.

An awkward silence settled between the two as they both stood there staring at the beauty of the setting sun reflecting off the water.  Soon the silence was interrupted by Marlena’s cell phone going off. Looking through her purse and noticing the same caller as earlier, she sighed and ignored it, settling back into the silence that captivated them moments earlier.

Turning around to face Marlena, John continued.  “I don’t know what made me come here this evening. It was like some mysterious force was directing me here. No actually, it compelled me to come here.”  Looking down briefly, John noticed a pebble near the edge of the dock. “Can’t really explain it, I just felt it,” he told her as he took a few steps ahead and then kicked the small rock into the darkened water before coming back to her side.

It’s our connection, Marlena thought, her heart pounding.  But how could this connection still exist after everything that’s happened?  How could this connection still have a hold on him when he was in love with someone else?  Scoffing, Marlena turned around to look him in the eyes. “How have you become this completely different person, John?  You’re not the man I was in love with.”

In love.  She once believed that he was the man she was going to love forever.  She once believed that this was the man that she was going to spend the rest of her life with.  They had talked about their future, made plans, and then it all fell apart somehow. Now he was just someone whom she would always love but was no longer in love with.  

“How could you cheat on your girlfriend so easily?” she looked on with a look of sadness masking her face.

“You didn’t seem to mind earlier today when I was inside of you,” John grinned down at her.

Marlena looked at John baffled, unable to form words.  Who was this man? He was a total stranger now. It was like he didn’t give a damn that he just cheated on his girlfriend with his ex-girlfriend.  I hate myself for doing this, she thought.  But it felt so good, she admitted to herself, ashamed.  Searching John’s face for any sign of regret, she saw nothing.  No emotions. He really doesn’t care.  Wanting to get away from this situation they had found themselves in, but most of all, wanting to get away from him, Marlena gave John a sad shake of the head as she turned on her heels and started towards the stairs.

John watched her retreating form, biting the inside of his cheek.  It was just like her to walk away; never wanting to face whatever situation lay ahead.  It was one of the reasons he slowly fell out of love with her. That and the constant fighting.  She would always get mad, they would start arguing and she would walk away, never wanting to talk things out.  As the fighting became too much, he slowly realized that his feelings for her were not the same as they once were.  She noticed it too.

“It was a mistake…It never should have happened.”  He was not expecting her to come marching back to him, her crooked finger wagging as she spoke angrily.  “I don’t know why I agreed to it.”

God, she’s beautiful when she’s angry, John thought as he watched her.

***

Marlena was adding some notes to her latest patient’s file before taking a break for lunch.  Having gone out to join one of the hospital attending who opened up her own practice three months before, Marlena’s work was piling up and it was stressing her out more than she would like to admit.  She was surprised she was even considering going out for lunch but she promised Laura, her best friend and fellow psychiatrist, that they would catch up.

They had graduated from medical school last year and were both lucky to get on with Salem University Hospital right away.  After a year, Marlena decided she was up for a challenge and when one of the doctors mentioned opening up her own practice on the outskirts of town Marlena jumped at the oportunity to follow her.  Ever since, the two friends barely saw each other and Laura insisted it was time to get together.

“Just a few more minutes and I’ll be done,” Marlena spoke aloud.  As she was flipping through some pages in the file, her cell phone vibrated from inside her desk drawer.  That must be Laura, she thought.

She never expected to see John Black’s name when she pulled out her phone.  Her heart began to race as she tried to focus her thoughts. Her mind was racing with endless possibilities as she opened the messenger app.

John: Do you still want your things?

Marlena stared at the message for what seemed like an eternity.  Why was he messaging her after all this time? Especially now that he had a girlfriend whom he loved more than he ever loved her.

She remembered the day he told her that and it still pained her.  They had run into each other outside the Brady Pub a few months ago and while Marlena tried to be friendly, John was thinking the opposite.  Ever since they broke up he had treated her like he never even cared for her. His words that day only intensified those thoughts in her mind.

“I should just ignore him.” Going back to her work, she was sure she was doing the right thing.  He would do the same thing to her, had she been the one to message him first. That’s the kind of person he had become with her since he broke things off with her.  Looking back at her phone, it was beyond her control, she had to answer him.

Marlena: I don’t know what you are talking about.  What things?

Less than a minute passed before a new message appeared on her screen.

John: The things you left at my house…

Marlena: I thought you threw those things away?

During their run in at the Pub she had asked for the sweat pants she left at his house, the shoes, a phone case, a necklace, among other things but he had told her he had cleaned up and threw all of her things away.  So what kind of game was he playing with her?

John: I didn’t.  Do you want them?

Marlena: No thanks.

She had moved on.  She had just started seeing someone new, someone she had met in medical school.  James Chandler, a surgical resident. If she agreed to take her things back, that meant seeing John and she couldn’t risk that.  Her life was finally good again. A new message.

John: Are you sure? This doesn’t mean anything, but I feel bad about the way I treated you last time we saw each other…I’m trying to be nice.

He was trying to be nice.  Marlena was thinking that she should probably let him.  After all, she hated the way they ended things on such bad terms.

Marlena: Alright…

She went back to her work and put the file away once she was done.  Looking at her watch, Marlena noticed she still had a half hour before she was to meet Laura for lunch at the new restaurant just down the street from her office.  As she was tidying up her desk, her cell phone caught her attention.  John was like a drug to her, always had been. Once she had a little of him, she needed more.  It was exactly how she felt at this moment; she wanted to keep talking to him.

Marlena: Can I ask you something off topic?

John: Sure.

Marlena smiled.  She would settle on a safe subject.

Marlena: How’s your grandpa? I used to see him all the time at the Pub but I haven’t seen him in a couple of months.

John: He’s fine. He and his friends go to the Java Café now.

Marlena: Oh, okay. When I stopped seeing him, I was worried something might have happened to him.

John: No, he’s fine.

She then asked about his grandmother and the rest of his family and he filled her in briefly.  Now what? She didn’t want to stop. Her cell phone vibrated again as she received another text from him.

John: Can I ask you something in return?

What is going on here? Marlena thought.  Once she replied, she waited with bated breath for him and his question, pacing her office back and forth.  It seemed like an eternity before she heard the vibration against her desk once again.

John: Nevermind…I’m sure you don’t want to know.

Marlena: Now you have me even more curious. I want to know, if that means anything.

Minutes passed without a response from John.  Marlena was leaning against her desk, chastising herself for not ignoring him and giving in to her temptation.  She was like a drug addict, successfully fighting her addiction until an opportunity waved itself in front of her.  She nearly dropped her phone when she read what John finally texted back.

John: To this day I still think about wanting to have sex with you.

Marlena: What about your girlfriend?

That was the only thing she could think of.  John had totally caught her off guard with that one.

John: I’m happy but things could be better in some areas.

Marlena simply asked him what he meant by that.

John: Sex between you and I was better.  It was amazing. I can’t help but to think of you sometimes and miss fucking you.

Marlena blushed, her heart pounded, her palms got clammy and she did not know what to say.  He has a new girlfriend, Marlena.  Don’t even think about it, she thought.  One text led to another and John was telling her that he wished they could sleep together one more time and that nobody had to know.

Marlena: I don’t know.

She really didn’t know what to say.  Here she was, after months of wanting John back, finally happy with her new life and all of a sudden he showed up again and he wanted her.  Well, he didn’t want her back; he just wanted to sleep with her. He just wants to use me.  Even with his reassurance that he didn’t want her to feel used and that she didn’t have to agree if she didn’t want to, Marlena still felt like she couldn’t say no.  She was addicted.

The next thing she knew, Marlena was cancelling her lunch date with Laura to go meet John.  “I’m really sorry Laura, but this patient is really unstable and it’s an emergency,” she lied as she leaned in closer to her mirror in the bathroom, reapplying her lipstick.  “Yes, I promise you we will get together very soon…Goodbye, Hun.” Marlena ended the call and adjusted her clothes. She made sure her crimson blouse was tucked nicely into her skinny black trousers and turned around to check herself out from behind.  Once she was satisfied with her appearance, she grabbed her coat and left her office to meet the man that would always have her heart whether she wanted to admit it or not.

***

“I can’t believe you even asked!” Marlena continued on, furious.  “God, what is wrong with us? How could I have done this?” She buried her face in her hands for a few moments.

“Relax, you wanted it just as much as I did.”

That comment angered Marlena even more.  “You’re unbelievable.” She took a step back, crossing her arms over her chest, her lips forming a thin line.  What happened to her John? He was never like this when they were together. Or was he? The sudden realization that he may have cheated on her too hit her like a ton of bricks.  It would break her heart if he had. Her chest tightened at the possibility…Shaking her head; she shook those thoughts from her mind as well.

A vibration coming from his phone distracted him momentarily.  He reached into the pocket of his light blue jeans for his cell phone and quickly disregarded the text message he just received.  “Are you saying you didn’t want to have sex?” Another text. He ignored it just the same.

Marlena wondered who kept texting him as he looked down at his phone for the third time.  “Whether I wanted to sleep with you or not is not the problem here. The problem is that I slept with someone who is in a relationship! I’ve never had any respect for the ones who couldn’t stay faithful and now look at me. I’ve become one of them!”  She uncrossed her arms, throwing her hands in the air for added effect.

“You can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it.”  John’s eyebrow raised, something he did all the time without even realizing it.

Although she was furious, Marlena had to steel herself from smiling at his signature trait.  It was one of the many things she loved about him. “I…I didn’t say that I didn’t.” She looked at him shyly.  “You know I did,” she half smiled. “But I think you need to understand, this can’t happen again.” Leaving those words in the air, Marlena walked to the bench that was behind them, sitting down and crossing her right leg over her left, her purse falling beside her.

Although she was no longer in love with John, she still had feelings for him.  That realization came to her earlier that day when she received his text message.  Having broken up nearly a year ago, it took her longer than most expected to get over him.  But finally, it happened, she no longer longed for him, she no longer stayed up at night thinking of him or the way he broke her heart, she was no longer searching for him inside of each men she met.

But John had to come and screw it up.  She hated that he still had an effect on her.  She should have just ignored him and they wouldn’t be here right now.  But she also never could have imagined that he would even suggest what he did.

I should have said no, she exhaled deeply, a slight fog forming in the air from the cold weather.  But how could she? She learned long ago that she would do anything he asked. She was powerless when it came to him.

“It can’t happen again,” Marlena repeated.

John nodded his head in agreement, still standing facing the water, his back to Marlena.  “I was going to say the same thing. I feel bad about what we did.” Rebecca, his girlfriend of five months, had been texting him all day and he kept ignoring her, each text sending another pang of regret through him.  He was determined to stay faithful from this moment on.

Marlena’s jaw nearly dropped.  “You feel bad? Then why the hell did you fuck me if you felt bad,” she yelled.

“Marlena calm down.”  John looked around the pier, searching to see if anyone was around to hear her outburst.  Not seeing anyone, he came to sit at the other end of the bench, rubbing his hands together for warmth.  She’s going to screw this up, he thought.  He really fucked up.  She’s going to ruin my relationship.  “You’re not going to tell her are you?”  John had his head turned towards Marlena who was simply looking down at her hands in her lap.  “Despite what you might think, I do love her.”

With that, Marlena stood up and walked away, leaving John alone on the pier to wonder what she was going to do.

It had been three weeks since John had slept with Marlena again.  Three weeks since he had seen her. He remembered the look on her face as she left him on the pier alone, afraid of what she might do and say.  Thankfully for him, Marlena had not told Rebecca about their tryst between the sheets.

On one hand, he was angry with himself for betraying Rebecca and the love he had for her.  On the other hand, he could not stop thinking of Marlena and how she felt. He could not stop thinking about the way her lips felt on his, or the way they felt as they traveled across his body.  Just the thought of her caused his pants to tighten. Stop it, Black, he reprimanded himself.  Rebecca is the only woman in your life now.  Are you really going to throw it all away for a quick trip between your ex’s legs?

A sudden knock at the front door and a subsequent turning of the handle, John hurriedly placed some Basic Black folders on his lap, hiding the presence of a certain semi-hardened organ.

“I hope you don’t mind, I used my key to come in.”  The slim brunette leaned over the back of the sofa and gave John a quick kiss on the cheek before she walked to the kitchen, her hands full of grocery bags.

He followed her, walking awkwardly as he willed himself to relax and to focus on anything besides his thoughts.  Once he reached the kitchen, he strategically stood on the other side of the island and helped her empty the contents of the bags.  “What’s all this?”

“I was thinking you could help me whip something up to bring to the party tonight,” Rebecca said as she pulled a casserole dish out of a cabinet under the island.   

“You know, honey, I would love to but I…” John trailed off, scratching his temple as he thought of something to say.  “Uh..I actually was just about to head for the office. There’s a conference call scheduled about a merger we’re doing overseas.”

Rebecca’s faced dropped.  Placing her hair behind her ears she replied sadly, “oh okay.  Are you going to be back in time for Bo’s birthday celebration?”

“I’ll try my hardest.”  His pants now less constricted, John walked to the other side and joined Rebecca, pulling her to him by the waist.  “Tell you what, you can stay here and cook whatever it is your little heart desires and I will be back as soon as I can.  If I’m not back in time, then I’ll just meet you there okay.” Kissing her softly, he swatted her behind before leaving the house.

Once in his car, John drove around aimlessly for a short period of time before deciding on going to the office for real.  He didn’t know why he had lied about the conference call but he was sure there was some work that could use his attention.  

**

“You didn’t tell Bo, did you,” Marlena quickly asked.  Needing to get it off her chest, she had only told her two best friends, Laura and Hope.  She made them swear not to share the information with anyone.

“Don’t worry, Marlena.  I gave you my word.” Although Bo and Hope have a general rule of no secrets, Marlena was like a sister to her, therefore she would not betray her.  While going through the list of invitees with Bo earlier in the day, Hope had brought up some worries she felt about having both Marlena and John at the party.

Although they shared the same group of friends, they had been lucky to never cross paths since John got together with Rebecca, except that one day at the Pub, but tonight all that was going to change.  Hope was worried that it might be awkward or that a scene might occur, but Bo had tried to reassure her. Unfortunately for Bo, he did not know the real reason for Hope’s uncertainties.

Hope took a drink of her coffee as she looked around the nearly empty Pub.  “Are you sure you’re alright with being in the same room as John and his girlfriend tonight?”  Even with little people surrounding them, she did not want anyone to overhear their conversation, wanting to protect Marlena’s secret.  “I would understand if you didn’t come tonight.”

“That’s very sweet of you Hope, but I am going.  What kind of friend would I be if I bailed on Bo on his birthday?”

“If you’re sure.”  Reaching across the table, Hope squeezed Marlena’s hand lightly.

“I am,” Marlena smiled as she stood to gather her coat and purse on one arm and she gave Hope a hug with the other.  “I will see you tonight.” Leaving the Pub, Marlena headed to the mall. She had a few things to buy before the party tonight.

**

The party had begun over an hour ago, all invitees were present, except for a select few who were running late. John was one of them, arriving only minutes ago. The moment he walked through the door Rebecca yelled “Baby” very loudly as she strode across the living room, swinging her arms around his neck and pressing herself to him very tightly, kissing him in front of everyone.

Upon walking into the room they were the first thing Marlena saw, and she spun around, going back to the kitchen. She reached for a glass and poured herself some wine, gulping down the red liquid in one shot.

Seeing her friend flustered, Lexie joined her, extending her glass for Marlena to fill once she was finished refilling hers. “Do I have to ask what this is about?”

Leaning against the counter, Marlena swallowed another big drink, her eyes glued to the kitchen door. “Do people really have to be that explicit in public? I mean, no one wants to see people practically going at it in the middle of a crowd.”

Lexie laughed, smiling brightly.

“What?” Marlena looked at her strangely.

Lexie set her glass on the counter beside Marlena. “I’m shocked to hear you of all people say that.” When Marlena gave her a blank look she went on. “You’re kidding right? You and John were the definition of an explicit couple. When you two were in a room it was like everyone else just vanished and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.”

Marlena looked at her friend sadly, taking another drink of her wine. “Yeah…that was a long time ago.” She preferred not to think about it, it was easier.

Getting the hint, Lex changed the subject, mimicking Marlena as she leaned against the counter. “So how are things with you and Doctor McHottie?”

Lexie didn’t know about the recent events that occurred between her and John and Marlena wanted to keep it that way. The less people knew the better. Besides, it was a one time thing and it was never going to happen again.

“I actually told him that I wanted to slow things down.” Swishing the wine around in her glass, Marlena looked sideways to her friend. “There’s so much going on with the new practice and everything and I couldn’t give him what he wanted.” The truth was she felt that she needed to be alone to deal with these feelings that had arisen within her since that day with John. She felt deeply ashamed and lost since then. She was sure she had move on, left her feelings for John in the past, but if this was true, why did she want to be with him again? And why was she bothered by he and Rebecca?

“That’s too bad. You would have had cute babies,” Lex joked, nudging Marlena in the arm. “But seriously, it’s normal for you to be affected by John and Rebecca,” she went back to the original subject.

Marlena knew her friend was right but she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Finishing her glass, Marlena set it on the counter and turned around. “Come on,” she grabbed Lexie by the hand, dragging her back into the living room to join the rest of the gang.

Marlena spent most of the night going from friend to friend, catching up, dancing, sharing some laughs and enjoying herself. The only time her mood was ruined was when she overheard Rebecca talking loudly with her obnoxious voice or when she would see her and John stuck together like glue.  Thankfully for her, she had Hope and Laura and other friends to bring her back into the party mood and keep her sane.

Feeling nauseous from the sight of Rebecca hanging all over John for her benefit, of that she was sure, Marlena excused herself and headed up the stairs, telling Doug she was going to freshen up.  Once upstairs, she took a few deep breaths, trying to get the images of her ex lover with that woman out of her mind. She quickly found Bo and Hope’s bedroom door and closed it behind her, resting against it for a few moments.

She could hear all the voices and the music downstairs, her friends all having a good time while she was hauled up in the bedroom, hiding from two of the party’s occupants.  Walking across the room, she opened the window a little to let in some fresh fall air as she stared out into the front yard. She had always loved the way Hope was good at gardening, her yard always looking like something out of a gardening magazine, no matter what time of year it was.  Despite the leaves blanketing the road and neighbourhood yards, Hope’s did not have a single leaf lying around.

So lost in thought, Marlena was startled when she heard what sounded like dishes shattering into a thousand pieces.  She wondered what it was that fell and broke, but still she did not move, instead she leaned against the window frame and watched as a car pulled up the curb and a tall man stepped out into the cool night air.  Watching him walk up the path, Marlena noticed it was Abe, one of Bo’s long time friends.

The door of Bo and Hope’s bedroom squeaked as it opened, making Marlena jump and turn towards the person standing in the doorway.  She was stunned to see John looking back at her. He closed the door behind him and they stood there, staring at each other in complete silence.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Marlena was the first to speak. They could not be alone together, and they especially could not be found together. The amount of people in the house, not to mention John’s very clingy girlfriend, made it all too risky.

John put his hands up in front of him. “No one saw me come up here, they were all preoccupied with the punch bowl that fell and the huge mess it made.”

Marlena nodded, looking around the room, not sure whether to say something or just leave. Once her eyes caught the bed beside her she knew one of them had to leave.

“John –”

“I –” They both spoke at the same time, but Marlena motioned for him to keep going. “Look,” John looked at his shoes, scratching his temple. “I just wanted to thank you for not saying anything.” Looking up at her, he gave her his most sincere look. He really was thankful, especially since she had the opportunity to tell her tonight especially.

Although she wouldn’t know it, he had been secretly looking at her from across the room ever since he arrived at the party. He could tell she was uncomfortable and a little pissed off, especially when Rebecca accidentally, or maybe purposely, bumped into Marlena on her way to greet the birthday boy. Although their relation may have ended, and even though they were not on the best of terms, he respected the way she was civil and gracious.

Marlena nodded, pursing her lips. Crossing her arms across her chest, she went on to say what she wanted to say earlier.  “John, downstairs…” she paused, unsure of how to formulate her words. “I may have moved on, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be affected by her throwing your relationship in my face.”

John rolled his eyes.

“I think we just need to stay away from each other. We were doing just fine up until a few weeks ago. Let’s just forget that any of this happened and just go on with our lives,” she finished.

John nodded his head in agreement. Nodding hers in response, she gave him one last look before walking across the room and past him.

“Wait.” Grabbing Marlena by the arm, he stopped her before she could open the door.

There was so many things wrong with the situation — their friends and family were all downstairs, John’s current girlfriend included, not to mention that they were in their friend’s bedroom, and they had promised not to let this happen again — but when John pressed her against door, all Marlena could think of was how very right this felt.

“John, we can’t,” Marlena barely said, sighing when his lips kissed that spot just behind her ear which always seemed to make her legs shake whenever he would kiss or caress it. Closing her eyes, she reveled at the sensation it sent down her body, leaving her panties damp.

“Yes, of course we can,” he said and she could feel him smiling against her skin. He was suckling the skin, probably leaving a mark. “You know you want to.” His lips left the area behind her ear and travelled across her jaw, leaving hungry kisses behind.

Her head fell back against the door, the loud thud muffled by the music coming from downstairs, and John’s hand snuck up from her waist to cup the back of her head gently.

“You okay?” His voice was soft but hoarse, but Marlena knew there was no actual concern present. He didn’t care about her; he was just using her because she was better in bed than the alternative.

She nodded frantically, not worried about her head or the fact that Hope would kill them if she knew what they were doing in her bedroom. She had lost her will to fight him. This felt too good. “The door,” she said, trying to control her breathing. Bringing her arms to wrap around his neck, she held him even closer as John’s lips left wet open-mouthed kisses all over the left side of her neck.

With one hand tangled in Marlena’s hair, and without breaking from his actions, John’s right hand reached for the doorknob and locked the door.

Cupping the back of his neck, she moved his head so his face was directly in front of hers whereupon she sealed her mouth over his and kissed him hard.

All thoughts flew out of her mind when John rubbed against her, his growing erection pressing into her stomach, simultaneously thrilling and scaring Marlena. She was not entirely comfortable having sex with John under their life circumstances, but when he lifted her against the door, her legs automatically winding around his waist, all she cared about was having him inside her, soothing the ache that had been building since he stepped foot into Bo and Hope’s house.

She lowed her hands between their bodies, to his pants, untying his belt, lowering the zipper and pushing his boxers down past his butt. The moment the constrictive material was removed, John’s member sprung out, hard and ready. She wrapped her fingers around his hardened length and stroked them up and down, her eyes watching his face the whole time to gauge his reaction. His mouth had dropped open and she took the opportunity of flicking her tongue over his bottom lip before gently biting down on it.

“Fuck…Doc…” John regretted the word as soon as it slipped out. Gauging her face for a reaction, he didn’t see one.

“I want you to fuck me, John…So hard…” she whispered into his ear before grazing her teeth against the lobe.

John groaned in reply, letting go of her legs so that she could stand on her own. Looking over her body quickly, he teased her lips with his tongue briefly before capturing her mouth completely. A deep moan escaped her when he thrust his tongue into her mouth, curling it around hers and then sucking on it.

The only sound in the bedroom was that of harsh breathing as their kisses became even more passionate and heated. Clothes were removed and flung into various corners, neither of them caring where they landed, too intent were they on feeling each other’s naked skin against their own.

When the need for air became too much, he moved down her body, his lips kissing a path from her face all the way down to her breasts, his tongue licking a hot stripe down the valley between them. He felt her body trembling beneath his and it turned him on even more knowing that he was the cause of it.

When his hot and very talented mouth latched onto her nipple, Marlena stifled a cry as every nerve ending in her body sprang to life. Her fingers gripped his hair as she held him tightly to her, not wanting him to stop for even a second.

Switching his mouth to her other breast, John slipped a hand between them and slowly eased two fingers inside of her. His eyes stayed fixed on hers and he felt something completely primal surge within him at the picture she made; her head arched back against the door, the way her lips formed a perfect ‘o’ shape. A fine sheen of sweat covered her body, which in the dim light of the room seemed to make it look as though she was glowing.

“We don’t have time…” she half whispered/half moaned, her fingernails digging into his biceps as she fought not to give into to her desire to scream out in pleasure.

Removing his fingers from her and unlatching his lips from her breast, John lifted her legs again to wrap around him and pinned her arms roughly at her sides, against the door.

“Oh god,” she groaned louder than both expected as he entered ever so slowly, her walls clenching around his cock, pulling him ever deeper. She bit her lower lip, the slow thrusting nearly driving her out of her mind. It was too good. Smiling to herself, she was thinking of Rebecca and if only she knew that John was fucking her, while she was in the same house.

Securing her legs more tightly around his waist, Marlena pressed the heels of her feet into his buttocks in time with his movements as she urged him to speed up. She released a quiet moan when he shifted slightly which caused him to apply direct pressure onto her clitoris and the feeling was indescribable. Her inner thighs gripped him hard as she freed her arms from his grip.

One of her hands was splayed in the middle of his back while the other held firmly to the back of his neck, her fingernails occasionally scraping along the sensitive skin. When his lips parted, she pushed up again to take his mouth in a drugging kiss which seemed to go on forever, only ending when the lack of oxygen became too much to ignore.

When he started pounding harder and faster into her, she told him to slow down or to move to the bed, as they were making too much noise against the door.

Palming her ass in his hands, John walked to the nearby bed, still sheathed deeply inside her. Once he reached the bed, he dropped her on the mattress and climbed over her heated body.

He kissed his way up her stomach, stopping at her breast to pay equal attention to both handfuls of mounds that she was blessed with. So big and perky; unlike Rebecca. Once he realized his comparison, he cleared his head of her and focused on the naked beauty laying underneath him and what he was about to do to her.

As he rubbed against her, his hard cock poking against her toned stomach, he brought a hand to her right breast, pinching the hard nipple, sending sparks of pleasure to her core. While pleasuring one breast with his hand, he brought his mouth to the other one and teased the nipple with the tip of his tongue. Lighting touching her, just enough to wet the hardened nipple and then blowing, causing an intense feeling for Marlena.

Taking her by surprise, John stopped his ministrations and grabbed Marlena by the waist, flipped her on her stomach roughly and entered her hard and fast, causing a loud moan to escape past her lips.

Bending along her back, John grunted in her ear, “you have to be quiet.” He didn’t want to be heard and he certainly didn’t want their secret to be exposed.

The sensation felt so good that Marlena had to bite her hand to keep from screaming out in pleasure. Being quiet was very hard when John Black was the man behind the pleasure.

No words were spoken as he fucked her from behind, only muffled moans coming from Marlena. With his hands palming her hips, John thrusted to and fro wildly, determined to end this session quickly in case someone decided to come looking for them.

Thank god Bo and Hope have a quiet bed, John thought as he quickened his pace.

Lying with her head buried in the covers, Marlena seriously wondered if she had ever felt anything this good. It was like the sex kept getting better and better each time. “H-Harder…” she commanded before her entire body shuddered and convulsed a few seconds later when her orgasm hit her head-on. She felt completely and utterly sensitized and that feeling seemed to only escalate as John fought to achieve his own climax.

Not long after her climax did John feel his own fast approaching, the clenching of Marlena’s inner muscles around him sent him spiraling over the edge in no time. With a few final wild thrusts of the hips, John pulled out and exploded over Marlena’s back. Collapsing on his back beside her, John could not feel his legs as he fought to catch his breath.

Once he regained control of his breathing, he slowly left the bed in search of tissues or something to clean Marlena off.

As Marlena lay there, spent and breathless, John came over with some tissues and with one knee resting on the edge of the bed he started wiping away the traces of him that was splattered across her back. Marlena smiled at his consideration, as he made sure to wipe away every inch of his seed, leaving her dry.

“Thank you,” she whispered softly while turning over on her back. Their eyes locked for a few moments before Marlena tore her gaze away and rolled off the disheveled bed. Looking across the floor for their scattered clothes, Marlena passed John his items as she quickly found hers and got dressed again.

Shoving John from his position on the edge of the bed, she began carefully remaking the bed, making sure the sheets were tight and even, same with the comforter. She finished by fluffing and placing the pillows where she thought they went.  

“Do you even regret this?” She was curious. She needed to know what he felt to be able to reconcile this John with the old John.

“The truth is,” he started, “I want to sleep with you again.” With Marlena sitting on the now re-made bed, John crouched down before her, massaging her calves as she slipped her booties on. “What do you say?” Pulling her to her feet, he gazed at her kiss swollen lips. “No strings attached?” John pecked her lips ever so softly.

She cursed herself for not ignoring his texts that fateful day three weeks earlier. If she had, they would not be in this incredibly difficult situation. She would not be thinking about him 24/7, like she used to. Marlena was screwed and she knew it. She would do anything he asked her to.

Having met quickly through classmates years earlier in medical school, James and Marlena never took the time to get to know each other, both busy with their studies and their then-relationships. It wasn’t until years later, when they both worked at University Hospital that they met again. James was stunned when he first saw her again, never actually taking a moment to appreciate how gorgeous she was in medical school. From that moment, James knew he wanted her.

Marlena however did not make it easy on him. She was always uninterested in going for drinks or for lunch when he offered, she always kept herself at a distance, never wanting to get too close. It wasn’t until a couple of months back that Marlena finally gave in to his unrelenting invites. After finally agreeing, James took it as a sign that she was ready to move on from her hard breakup. It wasn’t until a few dates in that Marlena put the stops, explaining that she needed to take things slow and made up the excuse of work but really it was John.

After several weeks of James respecting her wishes, only sharing short phone calls and text messages, one day Marlena decided she needed to move on. She was not going to let John keep her from finding happiness again. So, she made a trip to the hospital and surprised James when she asked him to have drinks with her. She didn’t regret that decision, in fact, she was happy. It was time she allow herself to really be happy again.

Marlena couldn’t remember the last time she smiled this much. It had been a long time, that’s for sure. She had heard the saying A smile is the best accessory a girl can wear, but she brushed it off as just that, a saying. She now understood it. She was finally smiling again, really smiling, and it made her feel more confident in herself than she had in months.

Standing beside the source of her smile, Marlena played with the belt buckle of her red coat. “You really didn’t have to walk me back to the office.”

“I know.” James smiled down at Marlena, placing his left hand on the small of her back. “The truth is, I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to you just yet.” Staring deep into her eyes and then down at her luscious lips, James slowly brought his head down to meet hers, his lips wanting so badly to melt onto hers. The ding of the elevator pulled them from their moment, the two pulling apart. Clearing his throat, James extended his arm to the side. “Ladies first.” His hand went back to its resting place on Marlena’s lower back as he walked her directly to her office.

Before they walked in, Marlena stopped and turned around to look at her date, smiling. “I want to thank you for the lovely lunch.”

“The pleasure was all mine. It’s not everyday that I get to spend time with the most beautiful woman on this planet.” His right hand came up as he gently tapped the tip of Marlena’s nose, causing a giggle to escape her smile.

“Well thanks,” She gave a smile that seemed so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness to make James in awe of her. “I had a great time.”

“I’m glad to hear that, in fact, was it great enough to warrant dinner tonight?”

“I could be persuaded,” Marlena teased.

A twinkle flickered in his eyes. “Hmm…” James took a step closer to her, hands going to her face. Admiring her beauty, he slowly brought their faces closer together until their lips touched in the softest of kisses. He lingered for a few moments, not wanting to pull away but also not wanting to go further than she was ready for. “How’s that for persuasion?” he asked once he pulled away and took a step back.

“I’d say you have yourself a date.” Marlena offered him a wink before walking in to her office waiting area.

“Would you like to leave a mes–” Cynthia stopped mid sentence once she noticed Marlena arrive and beckoned her over. “Actually sir, could you hold for a moment?” Setting the phone back on the cradle, Cynthia put the cap back on her pen and set it beside the yellow legal notepad.

Marlena held up a finger in the air, signalling to James that she would just be a minute. Taking off her coat and throwing it over the back of one of the chairs, she walked the short distance to the younger woman’s desk. “Everything alright, Cynthia?”

Cynthia smiled at the very handsome doctor; tall with an olive skin tone, a chin strap beard and light brown eyes that twinkled when he smiled, not to mention the whitest teeth she had ever seen. To Cynthia, Dr. James Chandler was the perfect man. She was slightly jealous of her boss for dating him. “There’s a patient on the phone, Dr. Evans. He says it’s an emergency.”

“Alright, who is it?”

The secretary shrugged. “He didn’t want to share that bit of information.”

“That’s odd.” Marlena looked between Cynthia and James who was still standing in the entrance of her waiting area. He smiled brightly at her. Returning the gesture, she picked up the phone and put it against her ear as she sat down on the corner of Cynthia’s desk, one leg crossing over the other. “Dr. Evans speaking.”

There was only silence on the other end of the call.

“This is Dr. Marlena Evans, how may I help you?” She was rewarded with silence once again. Looking at the phone like she would be able to see if anyone was there, she sighed, resting her left hand beside her on the desk and tried once more. “Hello?”

“What’s up Doc?”

Marlena froze when she heard his voice but once the initial shock wore off a small smile crept upon her. Standing up, she accidentally knocked over the penholder where her hand once rested on the desk. “My secretary said there was an emergency?” Looking apologetically at Cynthia, she picked up the pens.

“Yes,” John answered from his office at Basic Black where he was sitting in his chair throwing a baseball into the air as he observed the view that his sky-high office offered him. “The emergency…it’s something private and very…how can I put this…hard,” John smiled into the phone. “As a matter of fact, you’re the only one who can help me. That skilled body of yours is the only thing that will do the trick.”

Marlena’s head snapped up, the tidying long forgotten. She looked to the side at James and she felt her face go crimson. “Mr. Brown, could you hold on a minute?” Not giving John a chance to reply, she pressed a button and put the phone back on the cradle. She took a second to gather herself before walking to the man who had taken her to lunch less than an hour ago.

“Duty calls I imagine.”

Marlena offered a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize. In case you forgot, I’m a doctor too,” James joked, “so I get it.” Explaining that he had a surgery scheduled soon and that he had to leave, he kissed Marlena softly on the cheek before walking out.

Just as Marlena was about to walk into her office, she heard James’ voice again and she turned around.

“Are we still on for dinner tonight?” Ever since Marlena gave him permission to resume his courtship, he was really pulling out all the stops! It was quite charming to say the least but Marlena was having trouble at times appreciating it the way she knew she should and for that she felt bad.

She smiled at the tall and handsome doctor, leaning against the frame of her office door. “Of course.” Watching him leave, she blushed when she noticed Cynthia’s eyes on her. “What?” she asked shyly.

“If I were you I wouldn’t keep this man waiting.”

Marlena knew exactly what she was talking about and she felt guilty for not being honest and available for James. She knew she didn’t owe John anything but somewhere deep inside of her Marlena felt that she couldn’t sleep with anyone else while she was sleeping with John. She noted that it was ironic considering she was sleeping with him while he was also sleeping with his girlfriend. At the same time, she also felt that she couldn’t fully open herself up to James while she was fooling around with John; she felt like she couldn’t do that to James, it would not be fair to him.

She hated the situation she lived in. On one hand, she really liked James and she wanted to be free to explore whatever happened between them.  On the other hand, she didn’t want to give up the amazing sex she was having with her former love.

“It’s more complicated than you think, Cynthia.” Not adding another word, Marlena grabbed her coat from the chair and retreated in her office and shut the door behind her, quickly walking behind her desk to continue her phone call with John.

“Mr. Brown?” John laughed into the phone as soon as Marlena picked up again.

Marlena also shared a small laugh. “Well, since I couldn’t use your real name, that was the only thing that came to mind.” Walking to the filing cabinet off to the side, she searched for the files of her next few patients. “So why are you calling John? Isn’t this a little risky?” With the phone pressed between her ear and shoulder, she skimmed past dozens of files before finding the right ones. She placed them on the corner of her desk before sitting down in her chair.

“Life’s funner when you take risks.” Maybe that’s why he started this, he thought. Maybe it was the risk of getting caught that thrilled him. He still could not rationally come up with an explanation for contacting her that day, other than how good the sex was. “Speaking of risks, how do you feel about sending me some pictures? I have same spare time right now and I can’t stop thinking about that body of yours.”

Marlena rolled her eyes and crossed her arm under her breasts, propping her elbow on the back on her left hand. “Not going to happen.”

“Ah come on, not even if I send you some in return?”

“I’m not really feeling up to it,” she answered dryly.

If they were in the same room John would have flashed his best puppy dog eyes. “You never turned me down before. Just one?”

“I’m not starting anything with you that you’re going to finish with her.” Marlena no long used the word “girlfriend” because she did not want that extra reminder, nor did she want John to think of her.

“Trust me, I won’t,” John stated simply.

Marlena wanted to question him further but she knew it wasn’t her place. “Well either way, the answer is no.” She knew she would do whatever he asked of her, expect for this. This is a privilege he only got when they dated, not after.

Seeing his assistant, Madison, enter his office with loads of paperwork John gestured with his hand for her to get out. “We could meet up later if you’d prefer that?” His body was having Marlena cravings.

Tidying up her desk and with the phone pressed between her shoulder and her ear again, Marlena replied nonchalantly, “I can’t tonight.”

“Do you have a date?” John laughed, not actually thinking that she did.

Marlena smiled. “Actually, I do.”

The smile faded from John’s face, a look of disapproval now settled in its place. “Anyone I know?”

Marlena stopped what she was doing, taking the receiver back in her hand. “Does it matter?”

Although he would never admit it, John was bothered by just the thought of Marlena with someone else. “You’re right it doesn’t…Don’t forget to use protection.”

“Are you kidding me?” Marlena’s eyes were big. How dare he.

“Just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“I’ll tell you what, you worry about making sure you’re using protection and I’ll worry about myself.” Marlena was pissed, John could tell by her tone. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a real patient about to come in any minute now so I have to go.” Without a second thought she hung up the phone, still fuming.

They say a soulmate is an ongoing connection with another individual that the soul picks up again in various times and places over a lifetime. It’s an instant and immediate electrifying feeling that both John and Marlena were all too familiar with. The moment he stepped through the doors of Chez Rouge John could sense this invisible force acting upon him. His eyes cast across the restaurant, not sure what they were searching for until they found her. As hazel locked on blue from across the room and everything around them faded away, that force wasn’t a mystery to him anymore. It was Marlena.

His pulse began racing, his mouth became dry and he could not take his eyes off of her. Without any words exchanged between them, they knew that the other wished they could be together right now but they both understood that was not possible.

It wasn’t until Rebecca came to stand in front of John that their connection was broken. Blinking rapidly to focus his eyes on the woman before him, John wondered why moments like these had been a regular occurrence for them since they began sleeping together again.

“John, baby,” Rebecca’s voice cut through to him.

“Hmm?”

“Are you even listening to a word I’m saying?” At that moment John realized how whiny she sounded and he was a little annoyed.

Sighing, he pulled his hands out of his trousers’ pockets. “I’m sorry, honey, I was just thinking about something work related.”

“Do you think you could put work aside for the night and focus on us? We haven’t had a night out in so long I can’t even remember when the last time was.” Rebecca was right, it had been too long. With the holidays coming up in a couple of weeks Basic Black was busier than ever and that meant John’s days were full of meetings and conference calls. He had to squeeze in time for Rebecca either between meetings or late at night. And then there was Marlena…He tried to see her at least once a week at the Salem Inn for a couple of hours. However they had missed the last two weeks.

Checking his emails one last time, John put his phone on vibrate and put in the inside pocket of his suit. “I promise, no more work tonight.”

Just then the maître d arrived to escort them to their table, which was across the room from Marlena’s table. Once the maître d wished them a lovely dinner and excused himself John pulled out Rebecca’s chair for her. She smiled once John kissed her quickly before taking his own seat across the table from her, unbeknownst to her, he also had a perfect view of Marlena and her date.

The couple sipped on wine and carried small talk as they skimmed the menu, John occasionally stealing a quick glance across the room at the pretty blonde dressed in a simple burgundy sheath dress with a sweetheart neckline. It was like their eyes were playing laser tag. One would feel the other’s eyes burned onto them, they would look in the other’s direction and their eyes would avert instantly.

Tearing her eyes away from her menu to take a drink of her wine, Rebecca noticed John’s eyes gazing at something behind her. “What has your attention?”

“Nothing, just an artwork on the wall,” John lied. He was becoming very good at it. “Have you decided on what you’re getting yet?”

As Rebecca explained that she was torn between two mains, she casually turned in her seat to see what painting had caught John’s attention once again. Casting her eyes across the room she didn’t see a piece of art that stood out. Just as she was about the to turn back around, her eyes caught a glance of someone and she had to do a double take. Of course, Rebecca thought. A piece of art. She sighed loudly.

“Everything alright, baby?” Looking up from his menu, John noticed the sneer on her face.

Looking around them quickly to make sure there was no one within hearing distance, Rebecca said with annoyance present in her voice “you actually have the nerve to sit there in front of me and call me ‘baby’ while you drool over your ex-girlfriend? Unbelievable.” She shook her head and crossed her arms.

“I wasn’t –”

“Don’t lie to me, I’m not stupid John.” Although she had met John after he and Marlena had broken up and never witnessed their relationship, she had heard about it around town. They weren’t even together and people still talked about them. It angered Rebecca more than she knew it should since she had John now. And now, sitting there while he stared at her without even trying to hide it, she could feel her anger rising.

John put down his menu ready to plead his case. “I wasn’t staring at her. It appears she is on a date, I was simply trying to see with whom.”

Rebecca rolled her eyes in response. “Why does it matter?”

“I’m just curious if I know the guy.” Playing it like it was nothing, John went back to the menu.

“Again, why does it matter?” She was not going to let this go. If John loved her then why was he paying more attention to his ex than to her? He shouldn’t even be giving Marlena a second thought.

“You’re right. I was just curious but it really doesn’t matter.” John got up from his seat only to kneel down by Rebecca, taking her hands in his and resting them on her lap. “I’m truly sorry…Please just let it go and let’s enjoy ourselves tonight.”

“But John, I just feel like –” John put a finger to her lips, not letting her finish.

“Baby,” he began, running his finger from her lips down to her chin and then her neck, stopping at her collarbone. “I’m sitting here with you, my beautiful, intelligent and amazing girlfriend. Why would I want anything other than that? I love you, that’s the truth.”

Rebecca’s pout turned into a grin. “Well, when you put it that way.” Leaning closer to him, she brought her arms to wrap around his neck and kissed him gently. “I love you,” she whispered against his lips.

“And I love you,” John replied, placing a chaste kiss on her full lips before returning to his chair. “Now what do you say we forget about everyone and everything else and we just focus on us.” He then proceeded to make a toast.

As the evening went on and their meals arrived, John kept his promise of blocking everything out. He never mentioned work; he even ignored the couple of calls he got. What he was having a hard time with however was ignoring Marlena. He could sense her presence in the room and just that was making this evening a hundred times harder on him. Not to mention that every time he looked up he could see her. But, playing the part of the good boyfriend, he tore his gaze away every time he accidently let his eyes wander and refocused them on Rebecca. Thankfully she didn’t notice or there would be trouble in paradise.

**

Sitting across the table from James Marlena genuinely felt bad but to make herself feel better she kept saying that she technically wasn’t doing anything wrong. It’s not like James was her boyfriend. It’s not like they were serious. No, they were just testing things out, letting things happen and if things were to change and take a more serious turn between them, then at that time would it be wrong for her to be sleeping with another man. But right now he didn’t have any hold on her.

Little did Marlena know James was hoping to change all of that. He was beginning to fall for her and he could not and did not want to stop falling. He liked everything about her and he wanted to keep learning more about her. Noticing Marlena swaying in her seat James asked if she would like to dance, however Marlena excused herself to the ladies room with a promise to dance once she returned.

In reality Marlena just needed an excuse to sit this song out. It was hers and John’s song and there was no way she was going to dance to it with another man, especially not with John sitting in the same room.

Arriving to the ladies room, Marlena put her evening bag on the counter and stood in front of the full-length mirror. She admired the way she looked in her dress with her hair in loose tresses falling over her shoulders. Running her long fingers through her hair, she pushed all of her curls behind her shoulders.

It wasn’t long before she noticed from the corner of her eye the door open and a man slip inside. “You shouldn’t be here,” Marlena said calmly. Tonight she had made the decision of letting go of John and that meant these rendezvous could no longer happen. She needed to let him go and move on with her life, perhaps even with James.

“You look absolutely stunning,” John’s voice was low; Marlena could hear the desire laced in every word. Coming to stand behind her, John gently moved hair to reveal Marlena’s right neck and shoulder. He held her by the shoulders and leaned his body onto hers as he lightly brushed his lips across her skin, all the way up to that spot behind her ear.

“Please don’t.” It was a very weak and quiet plea.

John knew the moment he began gently suckling at the spot that made her weak in the knees that she wouldn’t resist anymore. Not that he would call what she was doing right now resisting. Her lips were saying no but her body showed no other signs that she wanted him to stop. In fact, it was the opposite.

Looking at her intently through the mirror John could see her lips were slightly agape, her breathing heavy, her eyes glazed over with desire, her nipples hard against the silky material of her dress. She didn’t want him to stop. Looking at her some more, John noticed her hands were curled into tight fists at her sides. He wondered what she was afraid of.

Lowering his hands from her shoulders, he enjoyed the feel of her skin against his as his hands travelled down to her balled fists. He took them in his big hands and brushed his thumbs over the backs of her hands.

Marlena’s heart fluttered at the all too familiar gesture. He always used to do that when he tried to ease her fears. It made Marlena clench her fists tighter. She was afraid that the feelings she had buried deep down were beginning to resurface. “Lock the door,” she heard herself say, surprising herself. When John stepped back to do as she said she followed suit, meeting him at the door with a soft, gentle and wet kiss as her hands went to his waist to untie his belt and lower the zipper of his slacks.

Grabbing her by the wrists, John backed her into the counter, their lips still moving together. His hands went to either sides of her on the marble countertop, trapping her within his body and the counter. They kissed for a couple of moments, not rushing it, simply enjoying the feel and the taste of each other’s mouths. Marlena’s hands were on both sides of John’s face, holding him tightly to her.

Once John decided he didn’t want to waste what little time they had left, he reached for his wallet in his back pocket and pulled out a condom, placed it on the counter and brought his hands to his hips, pulling his pants and boxers down to exposed his solid and pulsating cock. Next, he took hold of Marlena’s thighs and lifted her to sit on the counter. Unwrapping the gold packaging, John slid the rubber over his hard length quickly. Pushing her dress up to bunch at her waist, John came to stand between her legs. They knew that they didn’t have much time so he pulled her G-string aside and ran two fingers over her folds.

“You’re dripping,” he said with a lust filled voice, and with that, he sunk his cock into her wetness without hesitation. With his pants and underwear around his ankles and shirt still on, he began to thrust slowly into her center as Marlena grabbed onto him, pulling him closer into her. They both moaned softly at the pleasure, both steaming with excitement of needing each other and danger of getting caught.

As the pleasure and the intensity built, John’s thrusts became faster, harder and deeper, just the way Marlena liked it. Leaning back with her hands on the counter behind her, she kicked her heels off and wrapped her long legs around his lower back, pushing him deeper into her with every thrust he gave. John was mesmerized by her beauty as began to pound into her harder; her head was thrown back, her eyes shut with her mouth slightly open, her cheeks were crimson and her hair was thrashing with every pounding she took. Just seeing how sexy she looked at this moment urged John on even more.

He put his hands on her upper thighs, squeezing them tightly and he thrust into her for all he was worth while Marlena tried her hardest to remain as silent as she could while experiencing an intense amount of pleasure. She bit hard into her lower lip, trying not to yell out his name. As if John could read her mind, he let go of her thighs and pulled her body closer to him, crashing his mouth onto hers. He thrust away, slamming himself into her while his kisses swallowed her moans, and with a few more good pumps, he came hard and she followed closely behind him, her arms and legs holding him in a dead lock.

Once they both came down from their highs, John slid out of her and pulled the soiled condom off him. He wrapped it in tissue paper and made sure to burry it in the garbage before cleaning himself off and lifting his pants.

Marlena still sat on the countertop, unsure if she had the energy to move. She was still reeling from an incredibly intense orgasm. Hoping down, her legs were a little wobbly before she was able to stand still.

“You good?” John asked as he made sure he was presentable.

Marlena just nodded, using John’s arm as leverage as she slipped her heels back on. Without saying a word, she smoothed down her dress, combed through her hair with her fingers, grabbed her evening bag and she walked out of the ladies room, leaving John alone.

Walking back to her table, she couldn’t control her thoughts. Thoughts of her old John, this new person that John has become and of James. Ultimately, they always came back to John. She couldn’t possibly have feelings for this John could she? No, she hated everything her had become. She reasoned that being around him made her feelings for the John that she knew resurface. But no matter what, she knew that she couldn’t stay away from him, she couldn’t deny her body of him, their hook-up in the ladies room just now proved it. And because of that, she walked back to James with a heavy heart.

***

As John returned from his “business call” Rebecca noticed the presence of slight perspiration on his forehead. “Are you feeling alright? You seem a little flushed.”

If John didn’t already know his cheeks were cherry red, he knew they would be now. “You know, I am feeling a little warm.” He unbuttoned the second button of his dress shirt, the first one already undone. He must have forgotten to redo every button after his rendezvous with Marlena a few minutes ago.

Rebecca leaned over the table, her breasts practically spilling out of her dress as her hands travelled to his cheeks, feeling how hot they were. She was a little surprised when John pulled away from her and told her to adjust herself. Sitting back in her chair, she pulled the sides of the bodice up, making sure her breasts were in place.

She was slightly offended by his comment, especially after his lack of comment and appreciation for her choice of attire tonight. She had specifically chosen to wear this black mini strapless bustier dress with an extra low V in the center. Things between them seemed off for the past few weeks and tonight she had hoped to put an end to that. It was her idea to go out for dinner and dancing tonight and she had hope the night would finish with them making love until the wee hours of the morning. But so far, nothing about this night was like she planned.

To begin, it was like he hadn’t even noticed how hot she looked tonight, he had been unfocused and preoccupied at the beginning until she called him out on gawking at his ex that he promised to focus only on her, and even though he kept his word, she knew from experience that he could be trying harder…Not once had he asked her to dance and when she took initiative he turned her down, excusing himself to go make a business call, one that he had promised he wouldn’t make. She only hoped that her final plan for the night worked out. She wanted him badly. It had been almost a week since they had slept together and her attitude was beginning to show it. She needed him tonight. It had been too long.

“I have an idea…” Leaning her chin on her left knuckle, she smiled as she continued, “why don’t we head over to my apartment, we’ll run a bath and I’ll give you a massage that way maybe it will help you feel better.” She left out what else she had in mind, assuming he already knew what she was implying.

Just as he was about to respond, his eyes caught a glimpse of James pulling Marlena into a kiss right there in the middle of the dance floor. He hated himself for it, but John wanted her again. If they were the only two people in the restaurant he would take her right then and there, laying her atop a table and fucking her until she couldn’t walk properly anymore. But he knew he couldn’t do that. He also knew he had to find a way to get over his overpowering need for her.  

John’s eyes stayed on Marlena and her date gently swaying to the soft music as he stood up, walked behind Rebecca and took hold of her arm. “Let’s go.” Pulling her to her feet, he kept his right hand on her lower back the entire walk to his car. As he drove along the freeway he turned down the radio and put his hand on her thigh, gently squeezing it. “I’m sorry about tonight.”

Although Rebecca probably thought he was talking about him being distracted by work, he was sorry for so much more. He knew her intentions that evening were good but when he noticed Marlena, the evening she had planned was ruined. He was sorry for being distracted by another woman when his girlfriend, the woman he promised to love, was going out of her way to make this evening special. He was sorry for denying her a dance and instead sneaking off to have sex with someone other than her. He was sorry for not putting her first, tonight and every night since that fateful day almost two months ago. Most of all, he was sorry for being unable to remain faithful to her. It wasn’t like he planned it, he reasoned with himself often. He fought off the urges for a while until he couldn’t any longer. He could only explain it as an addiction – an addiction to Marlena’s body.

Rebecca smiled and put her hand over his. “Why don’t you show me how sorry you are when you get me home.” Her voice was laced with heavy desire.

They drove the rest of the way in silence, hands linked together in Rebecca’s lap. Once they got to her apartment, she found her way to the bathroom and did as promised; she started a bath. John surprised her when he shut off the water and took her hands in his. “Let’s skip the bath.” His lips immediately sought out Rebecca’s as he lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bed in the next room.

Being a skilled lover, he took his time taking off her dress, admiring for the first time tonight how good she looked, before he ravaged her body with his lips until he couldn’t take the foreplay any longer. He needed release.

“I’m sorry,” John whispered against the side of her neck. Again, he was sorry. But this time he was sorry for using Rebecca as a means to relieve himself of the desire ignited in him by Marlena.

Rebecca smiled into his shoulder, happy that at least one good thing turned out tonight. Enjoying the feel of his lips nipping at the side of her neck, she gasped loudly when John entered her hard and fast, never giving her time to adjust as he started pounding fast and rough into her. Biting into his shoulder, she was shocked at his actions, having never experienced this with him before. She didn’t know what to think as he thrust roughly into her with such a speed and intensity she had never seen in him before.

Like a couple of schoolgirls, the two young women jumped up and down as they screamed in happiness, hugging each other tightly. “I am so happy for you,” the pretty blonde said to the brunette. They both were smiling brightly.

“Here come inside, it’s freezing out.” The brunette pulled the blonde inside the house, closing the door behind her.

“I’m sorry for getting you wet, I just had to hug you right away.”

“Oh Marlena, I don’t even care that I got a little wet.” Hope watched as the slim blonde dusted the snow off her coat before taking it off and hanging it on the coat hanger. “I’m so happy you could honestly do anything to me and I wouldn’t even care.”

Marlena took Hope by the hands, pulling her closer to the fireplace and inspected the new piece of jewellery that occupied the thin finger. “When did this happen?”

“New Years Eve, right before the clock struck midnight.” The smile on Hope’s face was contagious.

Marlena playfully slapped her on the arm, shocked. “You got engaged almost a week ago and I’m just now hearing about it?!”

Hope writhed her arms, biting her lip playfully. “I’m sorry Marlena, Bo and I have just been busy celebrating.” She winked and they both laughed. “Today is actually the first day we stepped back into the real world.”

“Tell me everything!” Marlena was excited to hear every single detail. Hope excused herself to go grab some wine and some glasses, coming back a few moments later ready to talk Marlena’s ear off. Sitting comfortably on the big white couch, Hope told her how their New Years Eve celebration started and how Bo surprised her at the end of the night. Hope then proceeded to tell her of the plans that they had already made. “March? You don’t find that too soon?”

Hope shook her head adamantly. “Not at all. Marlena, we love each other so much, we just want to get married as soon as possible. I mean, why wait? All I need is Bo and our closest family and friends. I don’t need big and lavish.” The women hugged again. “I hope you’ll be one of my bridesmaids?” Hope pulled back, hopeful.

Marlena gasped, placing her right hand over her heart. “Of course I will! I would be honored.” The two friends went on to talk all things wedding, from dresses to venues to cakes to flowers, the entire time both were smiling from ear to ear, happy to be experiencing this together.

“How are things going between you and that hot doctor of yours?” Hope winked as she sipped on her wine, her sparkly new ring glistening from the light.

Marlena paused as if she were thinking of an answer. Running her finger over the rim of her glass she looked up at the woman who had always been like family to her. With a voice devoid of any emotion she said “he wants for us to become more serious.”

“And you?” Hope probed. Marlena just shrugged in reply, her left arm going to the back of the couch and resting her head on her knuckles. Taking both wine glasses and setting them on the coffee table Hope tucked her right leg underneath her and took hold of Marlena’s right hand, squeezing lightly. “Does this have anything to do with John?”

Sighing deeply, Marlena half smiled at her friend before she began. “I think about John obsessively, every minute of every day, and I wonder what I could have done differently to…” she trailed off.

“Oh honey,” Hope said comfortingly, not knowing what to say.

Taking her hand away from Hope’s, Marlena rubbed her temple gently. “You know what, that does not even matter anymore because I lost him and no matter how many ‘what ifs’ I conjure up in my mind, nothing will change the fact that he left me. As a psychiatrist I know that, but it still doesn’t stop my mind from going wild with possibilities.”

“You’re still in love with John aren’t you?” Hope asked, although she already knew the answer.

Marlena shook her head sadly, playing with the hair band around her wrist. “He will always have my heart and I hate that. I want it back.” Eyes brimming with unshed tears, Marlena looked at Hope sadly. “I want to be able to give my heart to someone else again and be truly happy. And just when I thought there was the slightest chance of that happening, John comes back and he wants me again. Only, he doesn’t actually want me, he just wants my body…I thought I was fine with that. At first it was just about the sex and being satisfied but the more it happened the more my heart began to realize that it never got over him. And the more it happens the more it pains me to know that I only have him for a short period of time before he leaves me to go to her.”

“I thought it only happened a couple of times?” Reading Marlena’s facial expression Hope knew she assumed wrong. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Marlena just shrugged. “I’m not proud of my actions.”

Taking both of her friend’s hands in hers this time, Hope continued with a reassuring tone. “You know I would never judge you.”

Marlena smiled, sniffing back her tears. “I know you wouldn’t… You know, I’m the biggest hypocrite there is.”

“What do you mean?” Hope asked confused.

Lifting from the couch, Marlena walked around the living room. “I lied about not being proud of my actions. The truth is, I don’t regret it at all.” Stopping in front of the mantel fireplace she yearned for the happiness she saw plastered on the faces occupying the various picture frames. “I know I should.” She looked over her shoulder to Hope. “Any normal human being would feel remorse over sleeping with another woman’s man…I’m basically a home wrecker.”

“You are not a home wrecker.” Hope was standing behind Marlena within a matter of seconds, her hands running up and down Marlena’s upper arms. “There is nothing to wreck. There is no marriage, there are no kids. For goodness sake, Marlena, they don’t even live together.”

“I know.” Marlena patted Hope’s left hand that was still on her arm before turning to face her. “But I am still a hypocrite. For as long as I can remember, whenever I heard of someone cheating, I always thought it was wrong and I judged him or her and now that I am in a similar situation I almost find it acceptable.” Both ladies went back to sit down on the plush couch. “I don’t feel bad, I don’t think of it as wrong…I know I should but I don’t. Instead, it feels good every time we get together. It feels good knowing that, even for a little while, John chooses me over her. I like when she calls or texts him when he’s with me and he ignores her. I know this is horrible to say, but I like being the one that he cheats on her with.”

Hope just finished the last of her wine, not knowing how to reply to her friend.

“I told you I was a hypocrite,” Marlena said matter-of-factly, also finishing her drink. “This is a whole different side of myself that I’ve never seen before.”

Hope topped up both of their wine glasses. “Sometimes love makes us act out of character.”

Marlena took a big gulp of the red alcohol. “Last time I saw John was a few weeks before Christmas and I decided then that I couldn’t do this anymore. It hurts too much to let him go back to her every time. It’s best if I end it now and try to make things work with James.”

Pulling Marlena into her arms, Hope held on tightly to her friend. “Honey, if James isn’t going to make you happy you shouldn’t settle on him just because he is there to fall back on.”

Marlena pulled away from Hope’s embrace and stood up once more. Hope followed suit. “I’m not settling. I like James and he deserves a fair chance. It’s not fair of me to be leading him on the way that I am.” Noticing the time, Marlena started to gather her belongings. “I like James and I don’t want to hurt him.”

“But you love John,” Hope insisted, following her friend to the door.

“John loves somebody else,” Marlena replied sadly. “I’m tired of being hurt by him and I don’t like the person that I have become so I have to end it before it destroys us both.”

The view from John’s office in the skyscraper building was beautiful. Although sitting in the center of the city, John could still see the frozen lake in the distance, along with the snow covered trees lining the shore from his window. He often got lost in its beauty.

Thinking back, this view inspired many important decisions John had made in the last few years. The view from his office and the pier both had that calming effect on him, always gave him perspective and a clear mind in order for him to make the right choices. Which is why today it was so fitting for him to be staring off into the distance yet again.

You’ve been so distant lately…Is it something I’ve done…I just want us to be happy…I want to go back to the way we used to be…It feels like you’re avoiding me…We don’t talk anymore, like we used to…

Those words and many more kept playing over and over in his head, Rebecca’s voice sounding more and more heartbreaking each time it played again. It hurt him to know he was causing her pain and she didn’t know anything. He could only imagine the pain and suffering it would cause her if she really knew what was going on.

A light knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts. Turning around John saw his assistant walking in with folder in hand. He gave her a little smile and listened as she explained what each folder contained, and what needed his attention first. “Lastly, you need to sign at the bottom here,” she pointed to the designated spot. “It’s the new summer line release.”

“I’m going to need you to bring me the blueprints for the Chicago offices.” Signing his name at the bottom of a page John closed the folder and handed it to his assistant. “Madison,” John spoke up before she walked out of his office. “I also need you to book me a room at the Inn for tonight.”

“Yes sir.” Turning around, her perfectly lined red lips formed into a bright smile. “Anything specific that you would like to request?” She lightly tapped the side of the folder on the palm of her left hand.

“Just keep this between us.” He raised his signature eyebrow.

An intrigued look appeared on the young redhead’s face. “Is this a surprise?”

“Something like that,” he nodded, going back to his stack of papers scattered over his desk. He looked over them, not knowing where to start. He had so many contracts to read over and sign. Once he heard his door close he grabbed the folder at the top of the pile. He knew he had to get to work or he would not be able to go forward with his plans for tonight.

A half hour later the beep of the intercom, followed by Madison’s soft voice filled the room. The room he requested was booked. Smiling, John put the papers down and opened up his messaging app. Meet me at the Salem Inn tonight at 8. Room 834.

**

Pacing the living room area of the hotel room, John was becoming very impatient. Checking his watch again for the umpteenth time, he began to worry. What if something happened? She was supposed to be there over a half hour ago and still she had not showed nor texted.

Just as he was about to call her to make sure she was safe, there was a light knock at the door. Taking a moment to mask his worry, he opened the door after he heard a second knock. Once the door was opened her beauty took him aback. She wore minimal makeup, her hair was tied up in a loose ponytail, and although she wore a coat, John could tell by her leggings that she was dressed super casual.

Not uttering a word, he pulled her by the lapels of her black pea coat and quickly shut the door behind her. His lips swallowed hers immediately, kissing her like it was the last thing he would ever do.

She responded just like she always did, her arms going around his neck, tightly pressing their bodies together. When his tongue sought entrance into her mouth she gladly opened wider and moaned when his tongue come into contact with hers.

For what seemed like hours they stood there as their tongues danced together and their hands moved along each other’s bodies until John wanted to feel more. Pulling his hands from the sides of her face, he started to unbutton her coat and quickly slipped it off her shoulders.

At that moment, Marlena became aware of exactly what was happening. Moaning in protest as John cupped her behind and grinded into her, she pushed at his chest and broke up the heated kiss. “I didn’t come here to sleep with you…I came to tell you that it’s over. I can’t keep doing this. I need to go on with my life, without you.”

All John could do was laugh. The laughter continued until he noticed her serious facial expression did not subside. “Wait. What?”

“We can’t see each other anymore, and we especially can’t have sex again.”

“This is coming out of left field,” he replied a little confused.

“I can’t let myself open up to anyone else. I can’t let myself love someone else and that pains me…” Marlena fumed when she noticed John roll his eyes. “I hate you! I really do, but somehow I have feelings for you still. It doesn’t make any sense. You had me thinking that you actually loved me and then you left me –”

Standing there, all John wanted to do was end this topic of conversation. He was not ready nor did he want to discuss this. “Marlena,” he interrupted, “stop acting like –”

“No!” She interrupted back, “you acted as if I meant nothing to you, you then flat out told me that you loved her more than you ever loved me.”

By now John knew that she wouldn’t stop until she got everything off her chest so he walked to the sofa and sat down. He propped his right foot on his left knee, rested his right hand on the armrest and waited for her to finish.

Taking a few steps closer to John, Marlena never stopped. You could hear the irritation and the pain in her voice as she spoke. “And a little while later you come back into my life only to use me whenever it suited you and you ruined the happiness I had created for myself again after you tore me down…John Black you are not the man that I once knew and I think that is what hurts the most. The man I knew was never so selfish and he would never intentionally hurt anybody, but look at you now…Hurting Rebecca and hurting me.” Putting her fingers over her lips she swallowed hard. There was a long pause as Marlena struggled to keep her tears at bay. “After the roller coaster that you have put my heart through in the last year I should despise you but I don’t…I can’t” she whispered the last words as tears finally streamed down her flushed cheeks.

Finally letting go, Marlena allowed all the built up emotions of the past few months to spill from her hazel eyes with total abandon.

The scene before him tore at John’s heart; it always pained him to see her cry but there was something different about this time that he couldn’t quite explain. Something just compelled him to wrap his arms around her. The moment their bodies molded together Marlena clung to him for dear life, her tears wetting his shirt but John didn’t mind.

“Shhh,” he whispered as he sporadically placed gentle kisses against her temple. “It’s going to be okay.” From past experience, John knew that when she got this way the only thing she needed was to let all the pain out in order to feel better. He was going to let her do just that.

Realizing what she was doing, Marlena pushed him away like she had been burned. “Leave me alone,” she cried.

“I’m not going anywhere, Marlena. I will be here as long as you want or need me,” he finished softly as he pulled her into his arms again.

With a small sigh, Marlena conceded and she allowed herself to be held and comforted. She felt protected and safe; she felt at home in his arms. For the first time in a long time Marlena enjoyed the way their bodies seemed to fit together the way they used to. She tilted her face up toward him, eyes still brimming with tears, her cheeks tear-stained.

Their eyes locked, an unspoken understanding was shared between them – he would always be there for her if she needed him. Bringing his hands to the sides of her face, John gently swiped at her tears with the pads of his thumbs as she sniffled. Lost in the moment, John slowly lowered his face to hers, simultaneously kissing and wiping the tears away.

The moment his lips touched her skin Marlena let out a sob and tightened her grip around his torso.

“No more tears,” John whispered against her cheek as his lips captured more salty tears. Pulling back, his thumbs continued their gentle caresses as hazel locked onto blue. It was like all the emotions she was feeling were transferred onto John and he just wanted to make her feel better. He wanted her to be happy again. Slowly, the gap between their lips shortened until his lips finally caressed hers fully.

At first the gentle, tender pressure was just what she wanted, but as they stood there, bodies touching and mouths silently moving together, Marlena could feel the warmth he always generated in her spreading throughout her body and her tears subsided.

As her heart rate increased and her breathing became more noticeable, John’ s own body reacted to her as it always did with his borrowed blood rushing to the rapidly hardening object pressed against Marlena’s stomach.

When Marlena shifted her body slightly he caught a whiff of arousal from her and knew he could no longer pretend he was in control of himself. With a groan, he lightly touched her lips with his tongue, running it around the outside of her mouth until her teeth parted and her own warm one came out to play. Once again his skillful kisses had Marlena melting against his body as her legs lost all ability to hold herself up.

With her arms around his neck, and her fingers running through the soft hairs at the back of his neck, Marlena gave in to the sensations his hands were creating as he moved them around her body. Using one arm to hold her to him tightly, John allowed his other hand to roam up and down her back, sliding under her shirt to feel her heated skin and causing her to shiver. He reached down and cupped the cheeks of her ass, grinding their pelvises together in an attempt to find relief for the throbbing in his cock.

Marlena was no longer willing or able to deny how badly she wanted to feel his naked body pressed to hers. When his free hand slid around to gently cup a lace-covered breast, she moaned and arched into his hand as she wrapped one leg around his, pressing her warm, damp crotch into his thigh. As she began rubbing her heated sex against his leg, John broke the kiss to growl into her neck.

He wanted her. Now.

He brushed his lips against hers, slowly, breathing in her air. Then, he traced the soft outline of her jaw with his mouth. He was completely consumed in her. Her hair, her taste, her smell, everything was addicting and he felt intoxicated. John traced a line of kisses down her neck, onto her collarbone, savoring each inch of skin. He could almost taste her, feeling her skin become hot at his touch.

Marlena let out a small, unsuspecting gasp as his hands lingered at the hem of her loose fitted t-shirt. They both stumbled, and crashed into the wall behind them. She ran her hands through his already ruffled hair, and threw her head back against the wall. With eyes half closed, she let her hands roam around his own body, as their breaths fastened.

He could feel his own heart, pounding violently against his chest. His hands moved up her waist, up the sides of her torso, until he felt the hem of her bra underneath the fabric. Layers, there were too many between them. He wanted to tear off her clothes, and inhale her. He imagined her, with her legs wrapped around his waist, rasping out his name. His blood boiled, and rushed towards all kinds of places.

He stopped kissing her body, long enough to look at her. Marlena’s eyes were wide open, and her lips were slightly parted as her chest rose up and down with her heavy, shaky breaths. A pale light came through the window. It barely hit either of their faces, but he knew they both must’ve looked the same. Sweaty, dazed, breathless. Overcome by each other’s own selfish desires and yearning.

There was a pause. A long moment of silence before either of them dared to say a word. She reached up, and gently touched the sides of his face. “Okay,” she whispered in a raspy voice.

John didn’t waste a second, engulfing her lips whole. God, he loved kissing her. Almost as much as he loved fucking her. Almost. Capturing her lower lip between his teeth, John bit down until he tasted blood. When Marlena moaned, John grabbed her hands that were still gripping his face and he pinned them at her sides against the wall. That only caused her to kiss him harder, eliciting a groan from John.

Letting go of her arms, John once again found the hem of Marlena’s shirt and pulled it over her head quickly. His lips found the mounds of flesh spilling over the cups of her bra, leaving wet open-mouthed kisses over every inch of skin that was exposed.

Although enjoying the attention John’s mouth was paying attention to her bust, Marlena’s mind was elsewhere. She wanted to feel him inside of her and she wanted it now. Practically ripping the buttons off his shirt, Marlena started to walk them towards the bed.

“Someone’s in a hurry,” John said hotly between the valley of her breasts.

“Kiss me.” She pulled his head up, lapping her tongue against his as she pushed his shirt down his arms.

Continuing their walk back to the bed, John tried to take his shoes off at the same time, but unfortunately as skilled as he was, he could not do so without tripping, which caused Marlena to immediately start laughing against his mouth, breaking their kiss.

He smiled along as she laughed, and pulled her towards him by the waist. She was pressed against him now, and he could feel her breath trickle down his skin. A small smile still lingering on her damp, pink lips. Although some of the tension in the room had eased, he could still feel Marlena swallow hard as her chest rose unevenly.

He lowered his head a little, meeting her lips. His hands were now careless wanderers, taking in as much as they could. He traced imaginary lines on her back, untied her hair and raked his fingers through the now loose curls. His hands seemed to have minds of their own. He tried to lower her down the best way he could without breaking the kiss, however, his lips were no longer on hers, but instead began making their way down her neck and chest, as he felt her settle on top of the plush comforter. He felt her kiss the side of his temple and cheeks. He pushed his own body upwards and she moved with him. Rising like a wave to meet him, her body arching towards him as her thighs instinctively brushed up next to his exposed hip. He let out a sharp and heavy breath as she moved, brushing her lips over his jaw and towards his Adam’s apple.

“Do you have something?” she spoke between hungry kisses.

“We don’t have to use a condom you know.”

Stopping her trail of kisses, she lay back down beneath him, an unsure look plastering her face.

“It’s not like we haven’t already done it before.” John sat back on his heels trying to control the overpowering urge to take her right then. Chest rising and falling, kiss swollen lips, and with flushed cheeks Marlena looked like a goddess.

“That’s not the problem. You’re with someone else now, and I really don’t like the thought of…” she trailed off.

“You’re the only person I’ve ever fully been with,” he confessed, looking deeply into her lust filled eyes. “I always used condoms. You’re the only one I don’t use condoms with.” He lay his body over hers, using his forearms for support.

“But,” Marlena began but John silenced her with a kiss.

“I want to feel you,” he whispered hotly in her left ear. “I want to feel all of you.”

Although she hid it well, that comment made Marlena’s heart flutter. “I want that too,” she breathed before rolling over him and kissing her way down his throat.

“Are you sure…about…this?” He breathed, a soft groan escaping his throat as he settled his hands on her hips.

She stopped to look at him, her eyes barely open. “Yes! I’m sure,” She whispered, cupping his face with her hands and letting a small, mischievous smirk play on her lips.

God, that’s sexy, John thought.

He bit down into his lower lip and settled himself over her again, taking in the sight before him. Her hair was scattered all over the pillow and her eyes glazed over, small traces of a smile still dabbling on her lips. One of her bra straps had fallen down and he could see the places he had left kisses on her body. His hand moved over to her mid back, reaching the small clasp. She must’ve had the same idea, because John felt her hands undo his belt and slacks in one swift motion. She moved quickly over his body, trailing over his built torso, sending shocks all over his body.

He glanced at her and saw a quiet understanding in her eyes, an encouraging gleam passing over them. He kissed, bit and sucked, exploring every soft corner of her body. His lips were rambling tourists, worshipping her body like a shrine.

She let out soft and consistent moans, as incohesive thoughts spilled out of her, most of them beginning with his name. He could almost feel her ignite herself in his arms, as his mouth continued to follow trails on her body.

In a very short amount of time, they both discarded whatever undergarments were left on their bodies.

They gave matching sighs of contentment when he was fully buried in her warmth and they could both feel how perfect the fit was. Marlena felt complete. It felt like his body was designed just to fit with hers in a way to give her the most pleasure.

John was close to losing consciousness at the overwhelming sensation of being buried inside Marlena’s tight, slick warmth. Her scent, the pounding of the blood in her veins, the sound of her heartbeat and her warm breath on his neck all conspired to render him immobile.

When Marlena began to slowly squeeze her enhanced muscles around him, he quickly snapped out of his happy daze and remembered that it could get better and, in fact, was already doing so.

Keeping up a steady murmur in her ear about how good she felt, he began to slowly move his hips, being sure to thrust just a little harder at the end of each stroke so that his pubic bone generated pressure on her clit. He was rewarded by her steady whimpers and gasps as their pace picked up until he was thrusting harder and harder into her as she wrapped her ankles around his back and pulling him in even harder.

When Marlena’s whimpers and gasps changed to panting chanting of his name, he couldn’t prevent from emerging to lick the side of her neck. With a final shriek of “John!!” Marlena clenched around him and threw her head back, baring her throat to his teeth. With a muffled groan, he sped up the speed of his thrusts, at the same time allowing his sharp canines to penetrate the soft skin on her neck.

Wanting to go even deeper, John grabbed a hold of her left leg and brought it up to rest on his shoulder while holding her right leg down with his hand. Kissing the inside of her thigh he began to thrust his hips at such a speed he wassure he’d never achieved before. “You.” He thrust deep into her center. “Feel.” Slowly, John pulled out completely, before lightly probing her with the tip. “So fucking.” Ramming into her at such an intense force, he groaned “good.”

“Oh god, so do you,” Marlena moaned into his ear as she struggled to catch her breath.

“That’s it baby,” he groaned, grinding his hips into circular motions, making sure to apply pressure on her clit. The contractions of her walls around his cock indicated that she was having a second orgasm.

Riding the waves of pleasure for the second time in a short amount of time, Marlena hummed his name, trying desperately not to lose control and scream out loud. It felt too good. Gripping and pulling his hair helped to keep quiet.

“Let it out,” he groaned in her ear as he bucked his hips wildly. “I want to hear you.”

Letting go, Marlena moaned her pleasurable release loudly, not caring about anything else but the way he made her feel. And by god did he make her feel incredible.

John was thinking the same thing. With her muscles clenching tightly around him, gripping him tighter with every thrust he gave, he knew it was only a matter of time before he too let himself go. Bringing her leg down, he prepared himself to finish off.

Instantly, Marlena’s legs came up and locked around his torso as she brought his lips down to meet hers. Moaning into his mouth with every thrust of his hips she knew by the intensity in which he bucked into her that he would soon reach his own climax.

With a few final deep thrusts, John pulled out and released his contents all over Marlena’s chest, groaning as he released everything that he had.

**

John lay on his back, his naked body covered only by the white satin sheets as Marlena lay at the opposite end of the bed, clutching the sheet to her chest. To her it seemed like they were ten thousand miles apart.

Laughing to herself, she sadly thought that if this were a different time they would be laying there chest to chest, nose to nose, arm in arm with lips that could not stop themselves from steeling soft pecks. But sadly, this was their reality now. As caught up in each other as they were just minutes ago, now that the deed was done, it was as if they were strangers.

Too close for comfort, John had said when she tried to lay her head on his chest once. That was months ago however, and she never made that mistake again.

Sensing that Marlena’s head was miles away, John took a deep breath and looked in her direction. “What are you thinking?” he spoke.

She plopped her right elbow into the mattress and rested her head on her hand and turned to face him, a sad smile plastered on her face. “I was thinking that this was amazing,” she said and leaned across the bed to kiss him on the lips.

“I have my moments.” He smiled, scooching closer to her and ran his hands through her golden curls, pulling her into another deep kiss.

“Oh you have plenty of moments,” Marlena joked. She went on to name a few moments in particular.

Although he could not remember some of the moments she was saying, he didn’t mind hearing her babble on. After all, her voice was warm and soft. It was a unique sound. The way she drew out the raspy syllables and spoke in quick whispers because she was too lazy to raise her voice, small yawns interrupting her stream of thoughts every now and then, made John realize how strange it was that he could know so much about her, and not nearly as much about anyone else.

Her smile stretched itself on her lips, as slight traces of pink still burned on her cheeks and her eyes seemed to flicker like candles in the dark. That was Marlena’s real smile, unlike the small smirks she’d thrown his way every now and then, John noted.

He pulled her in closer, tightening his grip around her naked waist. He felt her entire body pressed against him, her heart beating at an even pace, as he ran his fingers up her bare back and pushed the soft honeyed ringlets away from her face. She was breathtakingly beautiful. Her eyes were brilliant hazel orbs that followed his every move, her cheeks still remained rosy and her lips were soft like velvet petals. She was gorgeously fascinating, and he half suspected he’d been a goner ever since he’d first laid eyes on her.

“Stop looking at me like that.” She mumbled, self-consciously hiding her face in a pillow.

His eyes lingered on her for a while longer, a small smile remaining on his lips. “Sorry, it’s just kind of hard not to look at you,” he admitted, before adding, “That was cheesy, wasn’t it?”

“That was painful.” She said, a small laugh falling from her lips.

For a long moment their eyes locked onto one another’s, memories of times long forgotten coming back to them both. Being the first to break the spell, Marlena suddenly realized what was happening and she knew she had to put an end to it.

She took a shaky breath before speaking again, but her voice was stern. “What happens now?” she asked softly.

“Hmm? What do you mean?” His voice was coarse when he spoke, his gaze never leaving hers.

“I mean… After tonight, what happens? I meant what I said earlier.” Marlena averted her gaze. “Are we just going to go back to our lives, like…Like we’re fine? Pretend that everything that’s happened these past few months never happened?

A little stunned, John did not know how to respond. He thought for sure that after they had sex she would forget about her little idea of ending their little rendezvous. “You still haven’t given up on this stupid idea of yours?”

Slipping off the bed, Marlena gave him incredulous look. “It’s not an idea. I’ve made up my mind.” Slipping her leggings back on, she found her bra hiding under the comforter. “Every time we’re done I’m reminded that you are no longer mine; that you love another woman.”

John dropped his hands on the mattress roughly. “That’s not fair. You’ve known that from the beginning.”

“Yes I did. And I wouldn’t want what I am doing to her to be done to me…” Pulling her t-shirt over her head, she looked around quickly to see if she was missing anything. “Look John, we have a chance at a good life if we stay away from each other, so before this thing between us ruins the lives of everyone we care about I am walking away.”

John didn’t speak a word; he simply got off the bed and slipped his clothes back on. “Have you seen my tie?”

“You weren’t wearing a tie,” Marlena said in a small voice.  Taking a deep breath, she blurted out “I am still wondering why and how all your feelings for me just disappeared into thin air. I thought you meant it when you used the word ‘forever’, but you broke that promise.” There was a long pause, neither of them looking at each other. “Remember when we used to play those ‘I love you more’ games?” Marlena continued. “Well it turns out that I won…I loved you more.” A single tear fell from her left eye. “I love you more,” she whispered with her eyes closed, afraid to see his reaction. “To me, forever means forever and so I will always love you. I will always love my John, but not this new version of you.”

With a heavy sigh John stopped her. “Don’t do this, Marlena. Don’t try to make me feel guilty.” She was always good at that.

“I’m not trying to make you feel anything, I’m simply trying to make you understand why this whole situation is painful for me and why I can’t do it anymore…This is it. This was the last time.”

John had no idea why he was having a hard time accepting this. Maybe it was because the sex was too good to give up. He didn’t want to go back to being unsatisfied all the time. Or maybe it was because she had control over the situation this time. She decided it was over. No matter the reason, John didn’t like it. Nevertheless, he would do what she asked of him, even if it meant staying away from her.

“I do understand,” he said just for the simple fact of saying it.

“Hopefully with time my feelings will subside and it wont hurt to see you or to think of you.”

John nodded sympathetically. “I want that for you.” He pulled his hands from his pockets and walked the few steps that separated them in the middle of the room. Holding her face between his hands John leaned in and placed a lasting soft kiss on her forehead. “Marlena, I –” the ringing of a cellphone broke through their moment, just as John was about to tell her that he had really loved her once.

Pulling away from him, Marlena went in search of the high-pitched tone. She found the source of the ringing on the floor, beside the bed. Picking it up, she looked at the screen and she reaffirmed her decision to end their little hook-ups.

It was with a defeated look that Marlena handed the phone to John. “It’s the woman you love.” With a final quick kiss on the cheek she whispered, “goodbye John,” as she turned and walked towards the door of the hotel room.

John stood there unable to move. He looked from the doorway, to the ringing cellphone in his hand, and back up at the woman who was walking out of his life.

The ding of the elevator indicated that he had arrived to the designated floor. Stepping off, John looked around and skimmed the faces of the people present. Not seeing the person he was looking for he looked down at his watch. “Just a few more minutes,” he said under his breath.

Not wanting to be in the way, John moved down the hall to the right of the elevators and pretended to skim the brochures and posters that covered the wall. When a poster about mental health caught his eye his thoughts immediately went to Marlena.

He remembered how excited she was to have gotten a residency job at University Hospital straight out of medical school. He remembered that smile that was plastered on her face for the entire week leading up to her first shift. No matter the problems they were going through, he was proud of her. She had worked so hard and it finally paid off. He remembered thinking that all that fighting he endured during the last months of her schooling had to amount to something. He was right. Her dream of becoming a doctor came true.

John was sure that if given the opportunity he would go through it all again in a heartbeat. He would let Marlena get mad and yell at him over the littlest of things because the stress was becoming too much for her; he would stay up with her all night while she studied and he would pretend to be a patient; he would even let her take out all of her frustrations out on him but this time he wouldn’t argue in return. He would take it, comfort her and be there for her when she needed it. But most importantly, he would make sure to keep loving her through it all instead of giving up so easily.

“He’ll be out shortly,” a soft voice said. Looking to his side he noticed the petite nurse he had spoken to a few hours before.

Smiling back at her he thanked her and went on to look around the hall and he was momentarily caught off guard by the thought of Marlena walking by and seeing him, but soon his worries subsided. From what he had been told by Hope, Marlena no longer worked at the hospital so it was safe for him to be there.

Noticing the person he was waiting on come through the “Staff Only” doors and then settle at the corner of the nurse’s desk, John took his hands out of his pockets and called out from across the hall “Dr. Chandler!” James, dressed in his green scrubs, looked up from the chart he was writing in, a look of annoyance plastering his face. John walked closer, knocking his knuckles on the nurse’s desk out of nervousness. “I spoke with one of the nurses and she told me you had a break between surgeries.”

Going back to making notes in his patient’s chart, James didn’t look up as he spoke. “I was hoping to squeeze in some paperwork before the next surgery.”

“I know this is unexpected and a bit of a surprise but I have a few things I would like to say to you.” John gave a small smile to the elderly nurse who was sitting behind the desk, not even attempting to cover up the fact that she was paying attention to the men’s exchange.

Adjusting the navy blue stethoscope around his neck James sighed, “alright.” He clicked his pen closed and gave the chart to the nurse.

Wanting more privacy, John moved away from the nurse’s desk and stood by the coffee machine. “Do you know who I am?”

“I do…” James crossed his arms, his flexed muscles making the sleeves of his scrubs a little snug.

John nodded his head. Good I don’t have to introduce myself, that’s one less awkward moment for me, he thought. “I didn’t exactly think of what I was going to say when I saw you.” The confrontation he had with Marlena yesterday was still fresh in his mind and it caused for a whirlwind of thoughts to fly in and out of his head.

“I know what this is about, or rather, whom this is about, and I don’t really think this is a good idea. You left her, therefore you have no right to interfere in her life anymore.”

Holding up his hands, John started “hold on a second pal. I’m not interfering; I just have some things I’d like to share with you. I want her to be happy, I’m sure we have that in common.” John relaxed a little when James nodded. “Now, I’m going to say what I came here to say and I would like it if you didn’t interrupt me. Is that okay with you Doctor?” He didn’t like the way James was standing with his legs spread open and his arms crossed and muscles no doubt flexed more than usual. It was like he was marking his territory and was trying to intimidate John, but it was not working.

James just nodded his head again and waited for what he was sure was bound to be an unpleasant conversation.

“So uhh…” John scratched his nose, not sure where to start or what exactly he was going to say. “It appears as though you are the next guy after me,” noticing the puzzled look on the other man’s face John held up a hand again, indicating that he would explain, “so there are things you should know. Her favorite drink is iced tea and that she loves to sleep. When she gets mad at you, it’s probably because she doesn’t feel like you’re listening to her. When you ask her if she wants something to eat and she answers no, she really wants something to eat but she just wont come right out and ask unless she just really doesn’t care that day. The little things matter to her, so never think she wont notice cause she will.”

James stood back flabbergasted and uncrossed his arms. This was not the conversation he expected to be having the moment he saw John.

Now that he had started it was like everything was pouring out of him. “When a song comes on that she likes, and she starts singing, don’t turn it down or off, but instead, sing it with her. She loves to be reminded of how beautiful she looks. Ask about her day and never stop fighting for her. When’s she’s sad, she may not want to talk. Don’t force her. Just let her know that you’re there if she needs you and comfort her…Also, she loves it when you play with her hair and rub her back. Be prepared to get hoodies and t-shirts taken from you because she loves wearing your stuff too. Be prepared to cuddle, even if you’re uncomfortable, it doesn’t matter. Let her lay on you how she wants. Doc,” realizing his slip, John corrected himself, “Marlena has a hard time expressing her feelings sometimes so never rush her into telling you everything and anything that’s wrong. When she’s ready she will tell you. Don’t try to tell her what to do either because she’ll go out of her way to prove how independent she is…Oh, this one is important; her favourite flowers are Lilies.”

Although he appreciated all this extra inside knowledge about his lady love James wondered what this was about. If he didn’t know any better he would say that John still had feelings for Marlena.

“If she does get mad at you,” John continued, “give her time and don’t rush to fix everything as soon as it happens. She’ll work things out, just give her time to calm down. Always compliment and tell her how beautiful she is.” He paused for a moment when a mother and her young daughter walked by them. “But most importantly, don’t take her for granted. She’s rare and no one else is like her. She’s a beautiful young soul who deserves nothing but the world. Don’t make the mistakes I did. I fucked up, but you? You have a chance at something rare. So don’t fuck up. She’s worth it. I promise…”

Getting the hint that John was finally done, James was a little speechless. “Wow, that was…unexpected.”

John bit the inside of his cheek and nodded his head. “Treat her right. Make her happy.” Without another word, John turned around and walked away knowing that he did the right thing for Marlena.  

You start with almost a blank canvas, but as time goes on and the world keeps on turning all that evidence that you’ve lived begins to make an appearance. Freckles, stretch marks, tattoos, bruises, birthmarks, and scars.

Road maps tell us where we are going. Scars tell us where we have been. As one looks around their body, they find a number of scars; each with its own story. They are footnotes on the roadways of life.

As she stood naked before her full-length mirror Marlena observed the many footnotes that adorned her body. There was that little scar shaped like the number eight on her right tibia from cutting herself her first time shaving. She remembered that day like it was yesterday; lots of blood mixing with the running water and the stinging she felt. She never made the mistake of rushing ever again.

As her eyes travelled upwards, beads of water trickled down her skin, each meeting a different scar with a different story. A four-centimeter scar on her left hip is what caught her attention next. While their dad was in the middle of renovating the basement, she and Sam had been playing a game of tag you’re it when Marlena tripped and fell on a piece of plywood with a nail sticking out of it. Outlining the scar with her finger, Marlena smiled at the memory.

Many of her scars were associated with Sam, just like the little one on her left cheek, near her ear. They must have been three or four years old when Sam scratched her and her nail left a permanent mark on Marlena. Of course neither of the twins remembered it, the only proof was what their mother had told them.

Speaking of twins, being an identical twin wasn’t always an easy thing growing up. Sometimes Marlena and Sam struggled with their insecurities and confidence, especially when they were trying to come into their own, finding their own identities as separate individuals. Which one are you? It’s the twins. Where is your twin? Don’t you do everything together? Do you ever play tricks and pretend to be the other? You’re just like your sister. Those are only some of the things that you grow up hearing daily and it gets old. Fast.

As much as she loved her sister, sometimes Marlena wished that they were not identical. She always thought she was not unique because there was another one exactly like her. That’s where the next footnote on her body comes into play.

Oh how you wouldn’t think a simple birthmark could make a huge difference. The day that Marlena realized that she had a birthmark and that Sam didn’t was a day she would never forget. It was the day when Marlena came to believe that she was indeed unique, that even though they shared the same looks, the same hair color, the same birthday, the same friends, there was finally something that she had that she never had to share with Sam.

Found on her right rib cage, just beneath her breast, it was in the shape of a heart and couldn’t be bigger than a nickel but it was all Marlena’s. She loved her birthmark. Whenever someone asked what her favorite feature was she always said it was her birthmark because it’s what differentiated her from her sister.

Marlena’s eyes continued their journey upwards, stopping at her chest. It was covered in freckles. She smiled at the memory of her younger self believing that freckles were skin stars. She credited her grandmother for this. “A girl without freckles is like a night without stars,” her grandmother would always say. It made Marlena and Sam feel special.

“Some people view freckles as imperfections, and if beauty lies in imperfection, then you must be the most beautiful girls in the world,” their mother would say. Marlena was grateful for both a mother and grandmother that always made them feel like the prettiest girls. Thanks to them Marlena was no longer self conscious about herself, in fact, she loved her freckles.

Staring at the small specs on her chest Marlena remembered a time when John played connect the dots, mapping out unique constellations. The memory caused her heart to sink, knowing that he would never play that game with her again. What caught her eyes next caused her even more sadness.

Bruises, bite marks and hickeys covered her collarbone and neck. So caught up in her pleasure that she did not even feel John leaving his mark on her multiple times. Although fading and not as bright as they were two days ago they were still noticeable, which is why she had been avoiding others the past few days. She did not want anyone asking her questions.

Flashes of that night clouded her mind as she looked from bruise to bruise. These marks tell a story that she wished she weren’t a part of. Tearing her eyes away, she refused to think of John anymore.

She knew she did the right thing by letting him go and deciding to move on with her life. She had to or else she would never live a happy life. Reaching for her pink silk bathrobe that hung behind the bathroom door, Marlena took a final look at herself in the mirror before slipping the thin material over her naked flesh.

The phone ringing caused Marlena to jump slightly, not expecting it. Walking into her bedroom, her robe was still opened when she reached for her cellphone on the middle of her bed. “Hello,” she answered.

“Good afternoon, Marlena, I’m sorry for calling on the weekend but I had some work to catch up on so I came into the office,” Dr. Bridget Winthrop said. Dr. Winthrop was the attending that she followed when she left University Hospital to start her own practice.

“Did you want me to come in? I can help if you’d like,” Marlena offered as she tied her robe. Dr. Winthrop was quick to assure her that was not the reason for the call. “Dr. Winthrop, it’s no problem, really,” she offered again.

“Please call me Bridget,” the older woman said, “and I meant it. Enjoy your weekend, you deserve it.” There was a pause and Marlena could hear papers shuffling in the background. “How’s the Anderson case coming along?” Bridget asked. “I’d like to see your notes on her progress on Monday.”

“I really appreciate you giving me the opportunity to lead on Mrs. Anderson’s case.” With a hand on the banister Marlena descended the stairs. “Although challenging, it’s really interesting and I’m learning a lot more about DID.”

“You have proven yourself to be more than capable, Marlena. I wouldn’t have given her to you if I didn’t think you could handle it.”

Once she reached the bottom of the stairs she went straight for the sofa and reached for the remote. “Thank you.”

“I want you in my office at ten on Monday morning with Mrs. Anderson’s file,” Bridget’s voice sounded like it was coming from far that Marlena assumed she was on speakerphone.

“I will see you then,” she said, flipping through her recordings until she settled on something that she had started watching the day before.

“Have a great rest of your weekend.”

As soon as the call ended the doorbell rang.

“I wonder who that could be,” Marlena wondered aloud as she walked to the door. She opened the door to a big bouquet of pink lilies. A big smile on her face, Marlena wanted nothing more than to grab them from the deliveryman at her doorstep. “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful,” Marlena said.

“I have,” the man holding the flowers said. Lowering the bouquet to unveil his face, the man smiled. “You.”

“James,” she said in astonishment. “What are you doing here?” Quickly she grabbed the lapels of her silk robe and held them together at her neck, hiding the marks left by her ex-lover.

He bent down to kiss her on the cheek. “These are for you,” James handed her the flowers, “and so is this,” he said as he brought his left hand from behind his back, revealing a take out bag from the Brady Pub. Reading the puzzlement on Marlena face, James continued. “You cancelled our plans for today because you weren’t feeling well so I thought instead of missing out on time spent together, that I should take care of you.”

Marlena’s heart warmed at this handsome and considerate man. “I wasn’t aware that you made house calls, Doctor.”

“Only for very special patients,” he winked. Roaming his eyes over her body he liked what he saw. Even when sick and her hair piled on top of her head she was breathtaking. “May I come in?”

“I wouldn’t want you to catch the flu because of me.” Marlena felt bad about lying but she would feel even worse if she hurt James with the truth.

“I want to be around you, germs and all. I don’t care if I get sick. It would be worth it.” He had one of the most beautiful smiles that she had ever seen.

Opening the door wider, Marlena stepped aside to let James in. “Make yourself comfortable, I’m just going to go get dressed.” Quickly she disappeared up the stairs and came back a few minutes later dressed in jeans and a pink turtleneck.

James had set the takeout bag on the coffee table and had taken out its contents. “Chicken noodle soup and lot of crackers.” When Marlena made a face James said in a serious tone “doctor’s orders.”

“Maybe later,” she said, taking hold of the bouquet she had set on the desk near the door. “How did you know that I love lilies?” Marlena looked from James to the beautiful flowers in her hands.

“I cannot reveal my source,” he winked. He would never tell anyone that John Black was the reason behind his newly acquired profound knowledge of Marlena.

She just made a ‘hmm’ sound as she eyed him suspiciously and put the flowers in a vase, arranging them a way she thought looked perfect. Once she was satisfied with the arrangement she brought the vase over to the coffee table, placing it on the center.

“Were you watching some TV,” James asked, noticing she had paused a show. He sat down on the sofa, moved a cushion and made himself comfortable.

Marlena nodded. “We don’t have to watch –”

“I’m here to care for you while you’re sick,” James interrupted. “I’ll do whatever it is that you’d like to do.”

Marlena felt bad about lying to him, she felt fine but she could not tell him that or else she would have to tell him why she lied in the first place, why she cancelled their plans. When James patted the seat beside his she joined him, smiling as he reached for the remote and pressed play.

“Jack,” the beautiful blonde tried but the man dressed in a tux just walked away. “Jack, wait!” she pleaded as she ran after him as he stormed out of the church. Once outside she yelled his name again as she held the skirt of her wedding dress up as she tried to stop him from leaving in his shinny black car. “Jack wait! Jack please!”

She just made it to the car, barely touching the window when she heard the engine start. “Jack!” Acting quickly she ran in front of the car, putting both hands on the hood. “Jack no!” The blonde curls that were once pinned back by white flowers were now dangling in her face. “Jack please,” she pleaded, “I’m sorry. I’ll do anything to make it up to you!”

Putting the car in reverse Jack pressed hard on the gas.

“Jack, please” she yelled when he braked to put the car in drive. “Please don’t do this!” but it was too late, the Chrysler 300 was spinning its wheels, taking off as fast as it could. Left standing there alone, the blonde collapsed on the ground, her face buried into her hands as the scene faded to a commercial.

“What is this? A soap opera?” James mocked as soon as the commercial started.

Marlena slapped his arm playfully. “Yes,” she laughed. “When I was young my sister and I would go visit my grandparents and my grandmother would always have As The World Turns on. ‘Her stories’ as she liked to call them. Now that she’s passed away I like to keep the tradition going.” She made circles in her soup with her spoon before adding, “somehow it makes me feel like she’s still here watching her stories with me.”

“That’s really sweet.” James rubbed her back softly, sensing that talking about her grandmother made Marlena emotional. “Let’s watch in honor of your grandmother.” Pulling her by the shoulders James settled into the sofa, bringing Marlena into his arms.

She looked up at him in awe. What kind of man would willingly watch a soap opera with a woman, especially when he knew nothing about it. “We really don’t have to. It’s a recording, I can finish this episode another day.”

He smiled down at her. “Nonsense. Now tell me what that whole scene at the church was about?”

Smiling, Marlena nestled her head on his broad shoulder and started. “The blonde’s name is Carly and the man is Jack. Long story short, they’ve been on and off for years. Jack married another woman, Katie, but after the wedding his brother Brad told him that Carly had a brain tumour and was dying so he basically left his wife to go take care of his ex-wife. Now Carly wanted to marry Jack again before she died, and this was supposed to be their wedding.”

“I get the feeling that there isn’t going to be a honeymoon.”

“You’re good,” she joked. “Anyways, Carly recently found out that she was misdiagnosed and she’s not actually dying but she’s been keeping it a secret up until now.”

“Hence why he stormed off.” James began to stir, his left arm becoming a little uncomfortable but then he remembered what John told him the day before and he stopped and settled back in, letting Marlena lay on him the way she wanted.

“Exactly…” the two doctors continued their soap crash course as the commercials played on and spent the remainder of their evening cuddling and watching the tumultuous lives of the residents of Oakdale.

With a hand over her heart Rebecca tried to speak but with the lump in her throat no words would come out. Swallowing softly, her voice cracked when she said, “are you going to propose to me?”

Arching an eyebrow, John took hold of both of her hands in his and bent down on one knee. “Rebecca, my love, will –”

A loud knock at the door startled Rebecca out of her peaceful slumber. Rubbing her eyes momentarily, she had to adjust to the glaring sunlight seeping through the curtains. Looking at the clock she was annoyed at being woken up at 6:08 AM on a Saturday. Covering her head with her pillow she attempted to fall back asleep but another loud knock caused her to groan in frustration.

Getting out of bed, Rebecca smoothed her curly brown hair down as she walked across the living room to the door. “What!” she yelled as she opened the door. Seeing John on the other side her mood softened a bit. “I’m sorry baby,” she began, opening the door some more to let him in. “What brings you by so early?”

“What are you doing today?” John was dressed in dark jeans and an old football hoodie, his winter coat unzipped.

Confused, Rebecca stammered before she formed a real sentence. “Considering it’s six AM on a Saturday morning I was planning on sleeping in past nine at the very least,” she said, the hint of annoyance not missed by John. “What are you doing here so early?”

“I have to head to Chicago for the day.” Reading the puzzlement on her face John went on, “Basic Black business.”

“On a weekend?” Crossing her arms across her chest she sat down on her plush sofa.

Sitting down beside her, John explained that he had to oversee some things for the new office building. “How do you feel about taking a day trip to the big city and maybe having a nice dinner before coming back?”

Rebecca grinned. “Is that what you’re wearing to take me out to a nice dinner?” she pointed to his hoodie.

John feigned hurt. “I thought I looked good in this thing?”

“Oh baby, you do,” she reassured. “But unless you’re planning on taking me to McDonalds that outfit will just not do.”

“That’s exactly where I was planning on taking you. Order us some nice Big Mac meals.” The look on Rebecca’s face caused John to burst out laughing.

Jokingly smothering his face Rebecca climbed onto John’s lap and tickled his sides.

“Okay, okay, okay,” John said between laughs. Grabbing hold of her wrists, he restrained them at her sides. “I thought that sounded nice,” he winked. “I have a change of clothes in the car,” he said in all seriousness.

Less than twenty minutes later the duo were on their way to the Windy City. As John’s black Range Rover took the exit leading into Chicago Rebecca grabbed hold of John’s free hand and squeezed it.

“I’m glad you asked me to come with you today,” she said simply. Smiling back at her, John did not say anything. They drove in silence, save for the music on the radio, for the next ten minutes. “So my lease is coming to an end soon,” Rebecca said all of a sudden.

Taking his eyes off the freeway to look to his right for a moment John said, “Oh, is it? I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, I got a letter in the mail this week.”

Passing a slower vehicle John asked, “are you going to re-sign?”

“I don’t know,” she paused. She took a moment to look at the passing landscape before continuing. “I’ve been thinking, wouldn’t it be nice to be together all the time? You know, have a place of our own?”

John’s hands gripped the steering wheel tighter. He was surprised to say the least. He had not even thought about such a thing. Hesitating, he didn’t know what to say. “I love my house, I don’t want to move somewhere else.” That was not a lie.

He bought that house just over two years ago. He had never told anyone this but he bought the house for Marlena. Back when they were in a good place and still dating John had taken Marlena house hunting with him. He wanted her to love the place just as much as he did because he was planning on one day asking her to move in with him.

After a day full of open houses John was getting pretty tired and every house was beginning to look the same for him. “Just one more,” Marlena had said as she dragged him by the hand out of the car. John remembered not being interested in the house because it was not his style and it was a little bigger than he wanted. By the time the tour was over John had completely fallen in love with the house and he was sure that this was the house he wanted.

He was excited to move in and eventually ask Marlena to join him. He had their entire future planned out. They were going to live in this big house together; she was going to be a doctor, he was going to expand Basic Black, they were going to get married and have a house full of dogs and kids eventually.

Now that dream did come true, but in bits and pieces and unfortunately apart. John had the nice house; Marlena was now the doctor she always wanted to be; Basic Black was in the process of expanding. All that was missing was the dogs and kids…and them together.

But, John thought, maybe he could have all of that after all; with Rebecca. Maybe.

“I could always just move in with you,” Rebecca was hopeful as she leaned across the center console and put a hand on the inside on his right thigh.

Taking her hand in his, John sighed. He didn’t know how to say this without hurting her. “Rebecca, honey, I do love you, I’m just not ready for that yet.” He held his breath, expecting her to be upset. Instead she just said “okay” and the rest of the ride was complete silence until they arrived at the site of the new Basic Black offices.

***

Excusing himself from the construction workers John walked inside his “office” to where Rebecca was sitting admiring the view. Placing his hands on her shoulders he began to slowly massage her tense muscles. “It’s gorgeous isn’t it?”

She just nodded, enjoying the feel of his hands on her body and the view of the city.

Leaning over, John ran his lips over the right side of her neck before placing a soft kiss behind her ear. “I’m sorry to have to say this, but it looks like I have to stay here for a little bit,” he whispered.

Rebecca tensed up. “How long is a little bit?”

Going back to kneading her shoulders John said, “a week tops.” There was a long pause. “I’ll book you a flight home for after dinner and when I get back I’ll help you look for a new place.”

Turning around in her seat, Rebecca looked up at him, sadness displayed in her dark brown orbs. “I don’t want any help finding me a place. I would rather us look for a place of our own.”

John pulled her to her feet and took her in his arms, resting his chin on her head. “I told you, I’m just not ready yet. I’m not saying never, I’m just saying not right now.” He placed a gentle kiss on her head and they stayed holding each other for a few more minutes.

“I’m glad you could make it,” James said between spoonfuls of Caroline Brady’s famous chowder.  

She nodded, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “I am too. I really needed to get out of there. That office was starting to feel very claustrophobic.”

He smiled. “Well then, I’m glad for this late start to my day for allowing us this time together.”

Marlena proceeded to recount the events of her very busy morning all the while James just watched her in awe. “I apologize,” Marlena said after realizing she was going on and on.

“Apologize? What for?”

“For making it seem like I’m complaining,” she sighed. “I love my job, it’s more than I ever could have hoped for…”

“But?”

Marlena smiled, grateful that he could read her so well. “But, I feel a little…confined,” she shrugged, looking around the Pub.

Leaning across the table, James took her hand in his, rubbed his rough fingers on her delicate skin. “I think I have a solution for that,” he grinned.

“Oh?” Marlena beamed as he kissed her knuckles.

“You and me and a nice romantic evening at Chez Rouge,” he said softly against her skin. “Tonight.”

Marlena couldn’t help the smile that spread across her lips and illuminated her entire face. He was so good to her. “That sounds wonderful. You are wonderful.”

“Well now, I can’t take all the credit. You inspire me.” He kissed her hand again and noticed Roman walking through the doors of the Pub and in their direction. Letting go of her hand, he stood up to shake Roman’s hand.

“It’s nice to run into you two, I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Roman said politely as he looked between his longtime friend and her new beau.

“Not at all man,” James said distractedly as he reached in his back pocket for his ringing cellphone. “Excuse me for a moment,” he excused himself.

Still standing, Roman took his coat off and hung it across his arm, looking across the restaurant. “Have you seen my Ma? She said she had something to show me.”

Swallowing a drink of coffee Marlena shook her head. “I actually haven’t seen her at all today, although I’ve only been here for about twenty minutes or so.”

“Whenever you need her she’s always hard to find that one,” he joked.

James came back then and bent down to kiss Marlena on the cheek.

“You don’t have to go, do you?” Marlena asked, a small hint of disappointment present in her voice.

“I’m afraid I do. I have to check in with a few patients before I start the day.”

“Oh alright.”

“Don’t think about it too much, time will fly and next thing you know I’ll be picking you up for a late dinner tonight.” Bending down, he kissed her on the lips softly. “See you later beautiful.” Standing up straight he extended his hand to Roman. “It was nice seeing you again Roman.” With a final smile towards Marlena James took his coat from the back of his chair, threw some bills on the table and walked out of the pub.

“He seems like a nice guy,” Roman said as he sat down in James’ now vacant chair across from Marlena. Even though he had only spoken to him on two occasions, he could tell he was treating Marlena right and it showed on her face whenever they were together.

Smiling brightly, Marlena nodded.

“I’m very happy for you.”

Marlena blushed. “Thanks Roman.”

Truth be told, he was also slightly jealous. He had always had his eyes on Marlena from the moment she moved to Salem and Hope introduced them. It was over 6 years ago now but Roman was never able to put her too far out of his mind. After she and John ended things he thought maybe he could have his chance but here she was now with James. But she was happy, he could tell, and that’s all that mattered.

“Tell me, Roman, how are things with you?” Marlena smiled at her friend. “It feels like such a long time since we’ve seen each other.”

Roman nodded. “Bo’s birthday.”

“That long? I say we are definitely due.”

“I’d say. So how are things going for you, apart from the good doctor?”

Marlena smiled brightly. She liked that others could see the happiness that James brought into her life. “You know, residency,” she shrugged. “I love my work, I really do, and I love the doctor I’m working under, but I can’t even tell you the amount of work there is to do and I’m only seeing a few patients.” She paused to take a drink of her coffee and look down at her watch. “It’s surprising I could even leave the office for lunch today.”

“It will all be worth it. Hell, the look on your face as you’re talking about your work right now already indicates that it’s already worth it.”

Marlena thought for a moment, chin propped on her right knuckles. “I suppose you’re right,” she smiled. “I can’t even describe to you how I feel when I’m in the middle of a session, knowing that I’m helping people through some of their worst moments.”

“You’ve definitely found your calling, and I couldn’t be more proud of you. I remember years ago when Abe and I were both having relationship issues and we both lined up at your doorstep.” Roman chuckled at the memory. “No matter how busy you were with school you always found time for us.”

Marlena leaned over and touched his arm. “Always.”

“I remember another time,” he smiled. “I actually went over to your apartment, not realizing that Sam was in town and I mistook her for you. You should have seen the look on her face,” he laughed just remembering it.

Marlena laughed too. “I’m still here if you need to talk. Anytime,” she said sincerely. “It will be just like it old times.”

“Except now you’ll be charging by the hour,” Roman joked and they both laughed. “In all seriousness, even though this isn’t my profession, if you yourself ever need somebody to talk to, I’m here for you.”

Touched, she leaned across the table again and gave his hand a light squeeze. “That’s very sweet of you Roman.”

“You had me worried for a bit,” he confessed.

Marlena knew exactly what he was talking about and looked down at her lap. She herself became someone she didn’t recognize after John left her, but thankfully she prevailed.

“Enough about me, how are you Roman?” she changed the subject.

The door of the Pub opened and Roman’s eyes caught on someone he was not expecting to see walk towards them. “This will be awkward,” he said under his breath.

“I’m sorry Roman, I didn’t quite catch that,” Marlena said, angling her head to catch his eye. “What’s awkward?”

“Roman!” A high-pitched voice caused the hairs on the back of Marlena’s neck to rise. “Have you seen Hope?” It was Rebecca. She came to stand at their table, putting a hand on the empty chair. Never taking a moment to acknowledge Marlena, she went on. “I’m supposed to be meeting her for lunch.”

Marlena eyed her from head to toe. She was wearing over the knee leather boots with a short skirt. Very professional, Marlena thought sarcastically. She was also wearing a white leather jacket unzipped with what appeared to be a thin sheer blouse. Does she not realize it is still winter?

“Gee, I’ve lost track of the time. I’m sorry, I have to get back to the office, Roman,” Marlena said apologetically but Roman knew her better than that. “It was nice to see you again. Let’s all get together soon.” Gathering her belongings Marlena stood up, turning to walk away.

“Yes, do that before John comes home please,” Rebecca said.

Marlena stopped. Slowly turning around she took a step closer to Rebecca and said “You know what, I think I’ll call John myself and invite him. I’m sure he’d love to come down from Chicago and have the gang all back together again.” With that Marlena turned and walked out of the Pub, leaving Rebecca fuming.

Once outside the cool air felt good on Marlena’s flushed cheeks. She hadn’t planned on being petty but there was something about that woman that irritated her and caused her to act irrational.

“Marlena!” Hope hugged her friend tightly. “Are you alright?” She could tell that something was wrong.

“Oh I’m sure you’ll hear all about it over lunch.” Noticing the puzzled look on Hope’s face Marlena went on. “Rebecca. I don’t know why I let her get under my skin but I can’t help it.”

Putting a hand on Marlena’s upper arm, Hope squeezed reassuringly. “I know why.” Hope raised a knowing eyebrow.

Marlena waved her right hand in the air between them, indicating she was brushing it off. “I’ll say you’re half right. I’m over John. Besides, I have James and I couldn’t be happier. These past several weeks have been wonderful.”

Looking past Marlena and into the Pub, Hope could see Rebecca sitting at a table, flipping through a menu, waiting for her. She also spied Roman slipping into the back. “But?”

Marlena smiled knowingly at her friend. “I know he’s not the same man he once was. I know that. I also know that I am not in love with the man that he has become.” She rubbed her arms when a cold wind hit them. “But I just can’t control my body when it comes to him,” she confessed.

“This physical attraction between you and John will always be there,” said Hope. “It was there from the moment you ever laid eyes on each other, long before you started dating. It won’t go away overnight. Everyone can see it and if they don’t they obviously need glasses.”

Marlena put her head in her hands in exasperation. “I can’t keep doing this,” her voice cracking.

Hugging her friend tightly, Hope tried to think of what she could say. “You just need time apart to allow the fire to burn out.” Pulling back, Hope squeeze Marlena’s upper arms reassuringly. “Maybe with John being away right now this will be the perfect opportunity.”

“I don’t know Hope, he could come back at anytime. But enough of that,” Marlena said with conviction in her voice, “you have someone waiting for you inside and I should get back to the office. We’ll talk about this another time okay?”

The two friends kissed goodbye on the cheeks and went their separate ways.

“I’m sorry for being late,” Hope said as she put her coat on the back of her chair and sat down. “With the wedding being only one month away there’s still a lot of things to be finalized.”  

“That must be so stressful. I don’t know how you’re doing it without the help of a wedding planner.” When the waiter noticed Hope take a seat he came over and took their drink orders.

“It is stressful,” Hope went on when the waiter left, “but Bo has really been hands on with all the decision making and preparation. I often joke that he could be a wedding planner.”

“Bo trade in his gun for wedding planning?” Rebecca laughed and soon Hope joined in. “I’m so glad you have someone that makes you happy and who’s as hands on and involved as Bo is. Everyone deserves a love like that.”

The women were silent as the waiter came back in record time with their drinks.

“Why do I get the feeling that we are no longer talking about Bo and I?” Hope’s eyebrow rose as she poured some milk into her coffee.

“Oh it’s nothing,” Rebecca waved it off.

With a doubtful look on her face Hope sat straight in her chair. “No I don’t think so. You and I don’t usually get together unless the men are with us. I figured there was a reason behind this impromptu lunch invitation and I can see it written all over your face that something is bothering you. Spill.”

“You and Marlena are best friends, it wouldn’t feel right for me to dump all my relationship problems on you.”

Hope’s heart rate accelerated a little. She can’t know anything, she assured herself, taking a sip of her coffee. “Yes, Marlena is my best friend but that doesn’t mean I can’t listen to what you have to say. I promise nothing you say will leave this room.”

“I don’t know. I’m dating your best friend’s ex, who also happens to be another one of your best friends. I feel like I’m on the loosing side here.” Rebecca was trying to act all humble however she really needed to talk to someone about the way she was feelings and she felt that Hope would be the right person.

“There are no sides. I can’t control who is involved with whom. It’s not my life; I just have to go along with it…” Although she would prefer Marlena to be happy, she knew that what was meant to be would be, even if it did end up being John and Rebecca, although secretly she doubted it.

Rebecca said nothing as she twirled her spoon into her coffee cup although the sugar had been dissolved long ago.

“If it helps I can pretend to be on duty, that way I’m obligated not to say anything. Besides, I can tell you want to tell me something.”

Rebecca smiled sadly. Reaching across the table, Hope gave her hand a gentle squeeze, telling her it was okay. “There’s something…” Rebecca trailed off.

“Go on,” Hope urged her on.

Biting the inside of her cheek Rebecca pushed her curly hair over her shoulders. “I can’t quite place my finger on it.”

Hope gave her a moment to formulate her thoughts as she drank her coffee. Hope shook her head when Rebecca asked her if she had heard from John.

“I guess I feel like he just does not want to come back. I feel like he’s avoiding me,” she said in a sad tone.

“You don’t honestly believe that, do you?”

Rebecca shrugged her shoulders, unsure. “He was only supposed to be gone for a few days, he promised me not more than a week but he keeps extending his stay. It’s been over a month now and every time I offer to go down to Chicago and see him for the weekend he always turns me down, making up excuses like he’s too busy with the construction crew or with the site manager that he wouldn’t have time for me.”

“Rebecca,” Hope tried but the other woman kept going.

“We barely talk on the phone. He always says he’ll call me but he never does, saying it was too late by the time he got back to his room and didn’t want to wake me.”

“That seems like a valid reason to me.”

Rebecca averted her eyes as a lone tear escaped. “I don’t know, Hope. It all feels deliberate to me.”

Taking one of Rebecca’s hands in her own, Hope made sure she had eye contact before she began. “Listen, John and Bo are like brothers and he hasn’t had much contact with Bo either if that helps. I’m sure he really is just so overwhelmed with everything that launching a second office entails.” Even as she said this Hope hoped she sounded convincing because although she did believe what she said she also knew John and she knew there was more to the story.

After a romantic late night dinner at Chez Rouge, James invited Marlena over to his apartment for a night, which she happily accepted. Not long later, without remembering how they got there, Marlena realized she was sitting on James’ bed, his hands running over her body.

It felt strange to have another man’s hands on her.

When his fingers started skimming across her ribcage, slowly creeping upwards she shuddered, causing James to pull away from Marlena and her luscious lips, and he grabbed both of her hands in his. “We can stop if you’re not ready,” he breathed, making sure she saw the sincerity in his eyes.

Marlena blinked. It was like he could read her mind.

Her only answer was to free her hands from his grasp and pull his face to hers, lips once again coming together in a carnal kiss. She could do this; she was ready. Or maybe she was just trying to convince herself of that.

He pulled away once more. “I mean it Marlena,” his fingers delicately outlined her lips, “you say the word and I’ll stop. I don’t want to do anything if you’re not ready.” He gasped when she captured his index finger in her mouth, sucking the tip.

“I’m sure,” she said seductively once she let his finger go.

Smiling, James placed a hand on the back of her head and delicately laid her across his bed. He took a moment to admire her beauty; kiss swollen lips, flushed cheeks, hair splayed across the silky black sheets. He was thanking his lucky stars.

“Kiss me,” she beckoned him and he was more than happy to oblige.

What started off as a slow and passionate kiss turned into a heated exchange, hands roaming over each other’s bodies, pulling at clothes until there was nothing left. Arms and legs tangled together as the silky sheets clung to their heated flesh.

***

“That was amazing,” James said through heavy breaths as he fell onto his back beside Marlena.

Marlena simply hummed in agreement, her eyes still closed. She was trying to process everything that happened in the past half hour. Although the physical act of sex was good, she could not help but feel incomplete, lonely even, and her thoughts immediately went to John. She closed her eyes tighter, trying to ward off his image.

She could feel him moving beside her, no doubt discarding of the soiled condom, but she had yet to open her eyes. She figured she had control of her emotions if she stayed in the dark. She did not want to open her eyes to find someone other than John beside her.

“Why so quiet?” James asked as he slid in closer to her, only to have Marlena turn on her side, her back to him. He took that as an invitation to spoon, sliding an arm around her waist and pulling her closer to his body.

“Just tired,” replied Marlena in a low tone as she pulled the pillow further under her head. She finally opened her eyes and looked out of the window, gazing at nothing in particular.

Pulling her lower body closer to his James laughed softly into the hollow of her neck where he then placed a light kiss. “Rightfully so. That was quite a workout.”

“Mmmhmm,” was all Marlena responded. They fell into complete silent, only the sounds of their breathing and the city providing soft noises. Soon, the dead weight of James’ arm around her waist and his slow and shallow breathing indicated that he was asleep. It was then that Marlena allowed the tears she had been keeping at bay since they had settled into bed to fall. After what seemed like an eternity of endless tears, she finally cried herself into a light sleep.

A couple of hours later she was awake, feeling just as sad and even more tired than she was when she fell asleep. Gently taking James’ arm that was still around her waist, she pulled it up and brought it back to his side without waking him.

Making sure not to make any noise, Marlena crept around the dark room, picking up her scattered clothing, and walked out of the bedroom. She got dressed quickly in the living room, not bothering to tuck her blouse into her skirt or to put her pantyhose back on. Quickly scribbling a note to James about having work to do before meeting with Dr. Winthrop first thing in the morning, she taped it on the back of the front door that way he was sure to see it and know why she had left before he awoke.

Grabbing her coat, her purse, her heels, and her phone Marlena quietly slipped out of the apartment and headed towards the parking garage. Once inside her car she took a deep breath and called Laura. “Please oh please pick up,” she said as the call rang and rang. Looking at the time she realized it wasn’t even 3am yet. When she got the answering machine she hung up and texted Laura instead.

I’m coming over, was all she wrote before she pulled out of her parking spot and started driving.

To make her way from James’ apartment building to Laura’s house she had no choice but to pass by John’s house. She tried to keep her eyes on the road ahead of her but before she realized what she was doing, she was slowing down and her eyes were pulled to the house that she loved. She noticed the empty driveway with the outside lights turned on, making it appear as though someone was home while John was away.

Noticing her sadness increasing and an urge creeping into her, she pressed on the accelerator, putting distance between herself and John’s house, hoping to also distance herself from her feelings. In another attempt to contact Laura before showing at her door, Marlena called again. It took five rings before Laura finally answered in a sleepy voice.

Ten minutes later Marlena arrived at Laura’s doorstep and her friend opened the door to her immediately, taking her in her arms in an attempt to comfort her. When Laura tried to get Marlena to talk, the blonde denied, saying she did not feel up to talking right now.

So, the two friends made their way to Laura’s room and went back to bed. Finding comfort in Laura’s arms, Marlena finally fell into a peaceful slumber.

Three hours later Laura’s alarm clock went off and awoke both women. Seeing as both had to work, they got ready together and Laura lent Marlena some of her clothes.

“Honey, do you feel like talking about it now?” Laura was flipping through her closet for options for Marlena to wear.

Marlena shook her head and was quiet for a long time, fidgeting with her hands in her lap. When Laura walked up to the bed with different outfits picked out, Marlena looked up from her lap. “I don’t know why it’s all hitting me at once all of a sudden,” she began, her face tear stained.

Laura put the hangers down on the foot of the bed and she sat next to Marlena, pulling her head to rest on her shoulder. “I know you’re trying to be strong, especially after the hard time you had dealing with losing John after the breakup,” Laura said, softly petting Marlena on the side of the head. “But you know as well as I do that bottling things up does more harm than good. You can only be composed for so long before it all comes up to the surface.”

“I just want it to stop,” cried Marlena. There was a long pause, neither of them saying anything as Marlena kept crying on her friend’s shoulder.

“Do you want to tell me how this all started?”

“I was happy, or at least I convinced myself that I was happy.” Marlena’s voice was devoid of emotions, her tears now subsided. “I ignored the feeling at the pit of my stomach whenever James kissed me. I ignored the fact that the kisses didn’t flow, that they didn’t feel right.”

“Oh honey.”

Marlena pulled away from Laura then and looked at the clothing choices offered to her. “I really did a good job of convincing myself didn’t I? Well, until last night…” she trailed off.

Taking Marlena by the arms, Laura shook her softly. “Don’t do this, Marlena. Don’t shut yourself off.”

Marlena protested, pulling her arms free and got off the bed. “I’m not!”

Laura followed her out of the bedroom and into the adjoining bathroom. “Yes you are. I can hear it in your voice. I can see it in your eyes.” The women locked eyes through the mirror. “You’re speaking but you’re not letting any emotions come out. Your eyes are even worse. You’re like a zombie.”

Marlena rolled her eyes and started brushing her hair.

“I know you’re trying to protect yourself but this isn’t healthy and you know it,” Laura said, taking the brush from Marlena and continuing to brush her hair for her.

Tears escaped Marlena’s eyes then and she nodded. “You’re right,” she said barely above a whisper. “James and I slept together last night.”

Laura nodded her head. She had a feeling that’s what caused Marlena to break.

“Physically it felt good,” Marlena started, “but it was bad because there was no connection. I felt very sad and lonely afterwards. I…” Marlena stopped.

Putting the brush down, Laura squeezed Marlena’s shoulders and gave her an encouraging nod through the mirror.

“I wanted…I almost called John,” admitted Marlena, lowering her head into her hands. “I miss him…so much.” Her voice was muffled but Laura heard correctly.

“Honey, come here.” Turning Marlena around, Laura hugged her tightly, allowing her to cry.

Hugging Laura in return, Marlena spoke between heavy breaths. “I keep telling myself that James makes me happy, but does he really? I’m doubting myself.” There was a pause. “He does not make me as happy as John made me,” she said sadly.

Laura pulled away then. “You can’t keep comparing everything to the way it was with John.” She put her hands on the sides of Marlena’s face, wanting to make sure she was really hearing her. “You’re not with John anymore, sweetie. This is someone new, of course it will be different.”

“Laura, I’m fighting a war with my heart. I’m fighting a war with my mind. Deep down I know that James is the logical choice and that I should stay away from John because he’ll only end up hurting me again but –”

Laura put a hand up and interrupted her. “I don’t want to say this but I have to…You never should have slept with John again.” Marlena looked at her, shocked. “You were doing so well, you got over the pain he caused you and you were finally happy again.”

“I have no control when it comes to that man,” replied Marlena sadly.

“Well you need to get some. Or else he’s going to keep ruining your life.” Laura started to walk out of the bathroom before stopping in her tracks and turning around again. “Another thing; Marlena, don’t settle for James just because he’s there and convenient. You can’t use him to try to mask your feelings for another man.”

Marlena was speechless for a moment. “That’s not what I am doing.”

“Yes, it is,” said Laura before she walked away, leaving Marlena to think as she went to finish getting ready for the day.

Her patient, Kathrina, was a mid-thirties woman whom Marlena had only seen on one previous occasion. This was their second session and Marlena could see that the woman looked in worse shape then she did two weeks prior. Her long brown hair looked dry and lifeless, begging for a serious deep conditioning treatment. The bags under her eyes were more pronounced and she wore no makeup what so ever compared to the light face she had painted on for their last session.

She was sitting on the grey colored sofa that Marlena had along the back wall of her office, her shoulders curving inwards, her head tilted downward towards her fingers fumbling together in her lap like she was shielding herself off. “The missing him has gotten so bad now that I can’t even escape him while I’m sleeping.” Her voice was so soft that Marlena had to strain to hear her correctly. “I see him in my dreams every night. This pain is destroying me.” Marlena let her cry for a moment without interrupting.

“I know how it feels to be broken,” Marlena began. “All of a sudden it becomes too much to bear and you just break. You become numb to the world around you. You see the world moving around you but you’re not moving with it, people pass you by, they speak to you but you can’t hear them. You can only feel the numbness and emptiness.”

In that moment, Kathrina was exactly how Marlena had just described.

“You have to take care of yourself, Kathrina. You cannot let this –” she paused until she caught the older woman’s eyes. “You cannot let him break you.”

“Why does love have to be so painful?” the patient asked.

Marlena stayed silent for a moment, thinking. “Everyone says love hurts” she began, “but that is not true. Loneliness and rejection hurts. Losing someone you love hurts. People often get these things confused but in reality love is the only thing that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful. Love is the only thing that does not hurt.”

Kathrina looked up at Marlena then, a look of defeat plastering her pale porcelain like face. “‘Love is the only thing that does not hurt’, ” she echoed. “If I didn’t love Derek then it wouldn’t hurt to lose him.”

“That is true,” Marlena agreed, “but that’s not to say that love is painful.” She knew that love was the most incredible thing in the world. To love and to be loved was the greatest gift, but in no way was it painful. “When people cheat, lie, betray our trust, we blame love; we start losing hope in love.” She stopped to make sure her words were getting through to Kathrina.

Biting her lip, Marlena shook her head softly. “Love is not to blame for that Kathrina. You can get through this,” she said in the most sincere voice she could muster, leaning forward from her chair to squeeze the other woman’s hand. “Love will find you again; love will make you feel incredible again.”

“I’m afraid to love again,” Kathrina said once Marlena pulled her hand away, “I don’t want to ever feel this way again.”

Marlena sighed softly and let a small smile show. “It takes a lot of courage for a person to open their heart to someone new because we all have that fear inside of us caused by past experiences. But don’t let your past be an issue for your present and your future.”

“I just want to forget about him!” Kathrina blurted out a little louder than she intended. “I just want to stop loving him,” she continued in a softer tone.

Crossing one leg over the other, Marlena put her pen and notepad away on the side table beside her. “You’re going to forget about him,” she assured. “It wont be fast or sudden. It wont be as if he’s there one day and gone the next. But you’ll stop thinking of him every day. You’ll stop waiting for his calls. You’ll move on, you’ll go about your day without worrying about him and slowly you’ll forget the sound of his voice, and then you wont be able to picture the shape of his face, and eventually you’ll see something but you wont be able to quite place the familiarity of it, but it will be something that once reminded you of him. Eventually he’ll just become disconnected memories that occasionally fits into your past and that’s okay.”

The other woman nodded through her tears. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” said Marlena. “You’re the one that has to do the work but eventually it will be worth it.”

“Dr. Evans?” Kathrina breathed. She remained silent for a few moments after Marlena nodded at her in encouragement. “Do you think that if two people are meant to be together, eventually they’ll find their way back? That there’s a right time for two souls who got it wrong the first time?”

Marlena could hear her heart pound in her chest and she feared she was showing her weakness to her patient.

Not missing a beat, Kathrina continued, “because life happened and it tore you apart. If that’s true, do you reunite as if nothing happened? Does the one who loved less at the time ever have a moment where they finally see what they had?”

More than anything Marlena wanted to believe that what the other woman was saying was true, but as a realist, she couldn’t entertain that thought. It was too dangerous.

“I know,” Marlena began. “You want 30 Christmas’, 30 birthdays, 30 years of sleeping next to him and waking up with him. You want to share every moment with him.” She looked on as the woman across from her wiped the tears off her face with both her hands.

“I do,” Kathrina whispered, ashamed.

In an assertive voice Marlena went on. “If that’s the plan for you and Derek, if it’s really meant to be, and one day five years from now you run into each other at the supermarket and one thing leads to another and he comes back to you,” she clasped her hands together at her chest, “then that’s fantastic. But you have to be realistic. I don’t want you to put your whole life on hold just because you are waiting for that moment that may never come.”

***

With a few people ahead of her, Marlena figured she would grab a coffee from the Java Café and then head back to the office where she would work on her patient files through the remainder of her lunch hour. While carrying a casual conversation with the older woman in front of her Marlena felt a sudden change in the air when the door of the coffee shop opened.

It was not just the burst of cold winter air that caused a shiver to run down her spine and her heart to tighten. It was another thing entirely. After being apart for so long, just standing in the same room as him feels like there is electricity binding them together, sparks flying as she pretends she doesn’t know he’s there.

Ending her conversation, Marlena looked down at her hands, wanting to keep her head down to minimize the chances of being noticed. She was glad for the scarf that she wore that morning as it allowed somewhat of a disguise from certain angles.

“Hi,” she heard John say in the husky way he always did that made her weak in the knees.

“John!” she said after she turned to face him. Once she recovered from her shock Marlena said, “I thought you were out of town?”

He nodded enthusiastically. “There’s still a lot of work left to be done, but my folks are moving so I figured I’d come down for the weekend and lend them a hand. I just got in.” Rubbing his hands together for warmth he added, “decided to get a coffee to give me a little bit of a boost.”

Marlena nodded softly and turned back around, just wanting to buy her coffee and get out of there. The lady that was in front of her was now at the counter giving her order.

“Remember what it was like when I first got Basic Black up and running?” Marlena turned around then. “All those long hours, sleepless nights…You would think since the business is already successful that opening up another office would be a piece of cake but it isn’t,” said John as he took in her beauty. Her cheeks were reddened from the cold weather and he couldn’t help but stare. How was it that something as natural and simple as a cold wind could make her look like even more of a goddess?

Marlena just looked at him and batted her eyes in confusion. Why was he making an effort to keep their conversation going? “When are you coming home?” she heard herself ask and she chided herself for showing that she cared.

“I’ll be back in time for the wedding in a few weeks.” The ex lovers fell into silence, their eyes locking on one another in a trance. John took a step closer to her, like a magnet was pulling him.

“I can help who’s next,” the barista called out, causing John and Marlena to pull apart.

Stepping around Marlena, John walked up to the counter. “The lady will have a mocha made with skim milk and I’ll just take a black coffee please.”

“John.” Marlena was irritated when she walked up to him.

“Was I wrong?” Handing the barista some bills, he smiled and told her to keep the change.

“No,” she replied shyly, embarrassed that he still knew her so well. “Thank you, but I could have paid for my own drink.”

Taking his coffee from the ledge, John slid a sleeve on and thanked the young barista. “It really isn’t a problem. It’s just a coffee.”

“It is a problem for me,” Marlena insisted as she took her own coffee in her hands. “Thank you John, but you shouldn’t have.”

John smiled tightly down at her. “Goodbye Marlena.” He then walked away and left her standing in the café alone, feeling flustered.

Not even ten minutes later John was walking down the steps to Pier 29, enjoying the feel of the hot coffee as it slid down his throat and warmed him up from the inside out. He observed workers on a ship in the distance unloading cargo onto a different pier.

Quietly, he walked further down until he was standing by some crates, the sound of the waves crashing against the docks soothing him. It was then that he noticed the blonde standing a little further away, clearly in a daze. John walked up to her and said “hi” for the second time that day.

Marlena jumped, her hand went up instinctively, swinging in John’s direction. Reacting quickly, John caught hold of her wrist before she managed to hit him. Her eyes were wide and her face was pale but slowly regaining color.

“It’s just me,” John said in a soothing voice, “no need to worry…Didn’t mean to scare you.” When Marlena simply nodded John let go of her wrist and continued. “I didn’t expect to run into you here.”

“Twice in less than a half hour,” she said with a nervous chuckle.

“It’s like some force is working against us,” John said jokingly.

Marlena quickly averted her eyes when she felt his orbs burn into her own for a moment too long.

He wanted to ask her how she was doing. He wanted to ask if James was treating her right, if he was making her happy. But he couldn’t bring himself to ask those questions. He remembered the pain he heard in her voice that night in the hotel two months ago, he remembered the pain in her eyes; he couldn’t bare to see it again. He also didn’t want to see the happiness he’d be able to see in those same eyes if James were indeed making her happy.

“I’ll let you be,” said John, deciding on avoiding getting an answer to the questions he deeply wanted to ask. He gave her a quick once over and turned to leave. “I’ll see you around.”

“John, wait!” Marlena called out desperately, not ready to let him go. “I’m glad you’re back.”

With his back still to her, he spoke with an assertive tone “you were right that night, we have to let each other go.” With that, John left Marlena standing alone on the pier once again.

***

“I saw her today,” John began as they pilled boxes on top of the next in the foyer of what used to be his childhood home. “It’s only been nearly two months but somehow it seems like forever since I last saw her and she looks even better than before…” he trailed off momentarily. “I wanted to ask her how she was doing but I couldn’t.”

Thinking his friend was talking about Rebecca, Bo was a little shocked once he realized his assumption was wrong. He was not talking about his girlfriend; rather he was talking about Marlena. “What man?”

“Bo, Marlena…It’s beginning to hit me how much I hurt her last year.” John held his hands up in defeat, and then racked them through his hair roughly.

“You’re just now noticing it?” Bo asked, a little annoyed at his long time best friend. He finished taping the box he just set down and dropped the tape dispenser on top of it. “Are you blind man? She loved you more than anything else in this world and you broke her heart, you left her like she meant nothing to you. Hell, Hope even told me you basically told her that yourself!”

John’s face sported a look of regret. He remembered that day and the way he felt when he said those words. He wasn’t sure he meant them but he had wanted to hurt her for the way that her disregard for his feelings had hurt him.

“I love you like a brother, which is probably why I kept my mouth shut for so long, but I think it’s about time I say this. You’re a coward.” He stuck out his pointer finger in John’s direction. “You gave up on her and you broke her.”

John attempted to say something but Bo didn’t let him.

“Listen, even shrinks get depressed sometimes; it doesn’t just skip over them just because they’re brain doctors. After all the mental and emotional exhaustion that medical school caused her she needed you, but you abandoned her. And what for?” He threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. “Because you were thinking of yourself and your needs. I get that fighting sucks and I also know how much you two had been fighting during your last few months together, but everyone fights and it’s not a reason to throw your –”

“How do you know that?” John had never mentioned it before; he preferred to keep his relationship private, even from those he was closest to.

“Girls talk man, even Marlena needs someone to talk to at times, and she turned to Hope.” Bo leaned against the front door. “She told her how rocky your relationship was while she was finishing up her last few months of school. She told Hope how she hated herself for snapping and getting mad at you for the smallest of things especially since you were great and you didn’t deserve it. She was working on getting better when you broke up with her.”

Both men were silent, John at a loss for words from what he had just heard, and Bo trying to decide on what to say next, if anything.

He chose to let everything out in the open. “Marlena could feel a change in your relationship,” he started again, “not just the constant fighting, but in your feelings for her as well, but she believed that you loved her. We all did. Which was why it broke her heart even more when you left her. When you told her you didn’t love her.”

John closed his yes, trying to ward off that memory as it came up again. “I did love her,” he said adamantly.

“Did you? Did you really man?” Bo pushed John on the left shoulder. “Because if you did you would not have left her like that. You would have fought for her, fought for your relationship. You wouldn’t have given up on her and you certainly wouldn’t have done everything that you did to her after breaking up with her.” Bo shook his head, feeling sorry for Marlena.

John tried to put in his own set of words but Bo stopped him.

“She asked you to give her another chance and you flat out denied her and not long after that you got together with Rebecca and you told Marlena that she never meant anything to you…She walked around town like a shell of herself for months.”

Looking around the nearly empty foyer, John couldn’t look at Bo when he said “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Bo shook his head. He was not letting him off that easy. “She was broken,” he continued on, “she was lost, and most importantly she was alone. You promised her forever and then you left. She lost her mind trying to understand how forever became a temporary term…That’s not what someone in love does. As a man, I’m ashamed of how you treated her. As your friend, I’m disappointed that you could be such a dick. We were all there for her, Hope and I, Abe, Lexie, Laura, Roman. All of her friends were there to get her through it but all she needed and wanted was you. And where were you?”

“I had no idea.” Taking the tape gun that Bo had discarded, John added more tape to an already taped up box. “You’re right,” he said, eyes on what he was doing. “I completely abandoned her. I stopped going to places that I knew she would be, I stopped coming to functions that I knew she’d be a part of…” John let go of the tape gun and walked haphazardly around.

“Like I said, you’re a coward. You couldn’t even face her.”

Stopping, John let that sink in. He knew Bo was right. “Do you know how she’s doing now?” he asked.

“You don’t have a right to ask that. You didn’t care then so don’t pretend to care now.” Bo began to walk away, leaving John in the foyer, as he went back to get another box from the kitchen. “She was on meds when you left her,” Bo said when he came back. He set the box with the other ones, waiting for the moving truck to arrive. “She had just started them, and at first they make everything worse before things start getting better, I guess that’s when you decided you couldn’t handle it anymore.”

John felt his heart drop to his stomach. “I had no idea.”

“Of course you didn’t. She didn’t want to tell you because she was embarrassed and ashamed.”

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of,” said John.

Bo shrugged. “I know that but Marlena thinks that a shrink shouldn’t need a shrink.”

Grabbing his coat from on top of one of the boxes John threw it over his back and headed for the door. “I have to go see her. If my parents come by tell them I’ll be back soon.”

“If you’re going to hurt her again, please stay away from her.” Bo loved John, but he also loved Marlena and he wanted to protect her.

“Laura told me the same thing,” John said.

Bo looked confused. “When did you speak with Laura.”

“She called me today, before I came here, and she told me to stay away from Marlena.”

“Why would she do that? It’s not like you’re still hurting her now. Before today you hadn’t spoken to her in almost a year,” Bo said, still confused.

“I gotta go man, I’ll see you later.” With that, John slammed the door behind him.

With two beers in hand Bo walked out of the kitchen, door swinging behind him. “How did it go with Marlena? You never came back to the house.”

John took a swig of his cold beer before answering. “Yeah, my pop called me a few times. Told him I’d meet them at the new house tomorrow.”

“And?”

Following Bo’s lead, John sat down on the couch. “And what, Bo?”

“How was your talk with Marlena?”

“Didn’t happen.” John took another gulp of beer.

Looking puzzled, Bo placed his beer down on the coffee table. “I assumed you did. You left and you never came back. I stayed and helped your parents and the moving guys unload the trucks.”

“Thanks for staying and helping them out, by the way. But yeah, I never saw her.” He ran his index around the rim of the bottle. “I called her a few times, texted her, I went all the way to her penthouse before I showed up at her office but the secretary told me she was in with a patient. I ended up buying her flowers and leaving them on her doorstep,” he finished and took another long drink.

Bo lifted an eyebrow. “What’s going on with you two man?”

John looked up, a little on alert. “Nothing.”

Bo rolled his eyes. “Don’t give me that ‘nothing’ bullshit. You still care about her don’t you?”

John said nothing, just downed his beer.

“Okay,” Bo started, trying to pull information out of John. “So you’re on speaking terms from what I can gather because a) you said yourself that last time you saw her was two months ago, but last I heard you two hadn’t spoken a word in a year.”

John sighed. “Really Bo?”

Bo propped a leg up on the opposite knee and continued where he left off. “b) You’re finally feeling remorse for the way you treated her which leads to c) you ran out and went searching for her, and d) Laura even told you to stay away from her. Why would Laura do that unless you’d been talking to Marlena again?” Taking his beer from the table he swished the liquid around the bottle a few times.

John raised an eyebrow and looked away quickly. “No comment.”

“Alright,” said Bo. “How about this one; I know things aren’t perfect with you and Rebecca right now.” He put the bottle to his lips and didn’t take his eyes off of John as he took a drink.

John arched an eyebrow once again.

“She’s been talking to Hope,” Bo answered the unasked question.

“Is Hope the town’s new confidante?” John rolled his eyes and stood up to pace the living room. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I just…I don’t understand why people need to tell everyone everything.” He stopped and rested his hands on the mantle, head hung low. “If you need to talk to someone, talk to the person you have a problem with.”

“You’re not exactly there when she wants to talk either John,” said Bo accusingly.

John’s head snapped up then. “In case nobody has noticed, I’m a little busy opening up a new office for my company.”

Bo stood up and walked over to John. “You know as well as I do that’s a cover. You’re giving yourself more work than is necessary. You’ve done what you went to Chicago to do, what you’re doing now could be done over the phone with you in Salem. You know that, I know that, and Rebecca knows it too.”

“What’s she been saying?” John crossed his arms.

Bo shrugged. “She said you’re being distant, barely talking to her, you decline her invitations to come visit you and you keep extending your stay.” Bo sat on the armrest of the chair closest to the fireplace and watched John closely. “Tell me, since you got home this morning you’ve seen Marlena, your parents and me. But have you seen Rebecca yet?” He looked at his watch. “You’ve been home for roughly 10 hours and you haven’t even seen your girlfriend yet.”

“She’s busy working on a case for the hospital.” John walked around some more before he sat back on the couch.

“Another excuse. Look man,” sliding down from the armrest and into the chair Bo sighed before continuing, “I don’t know what’s going on between you and Marlena, I also don’t know what’s going on with you and Rebecca, but I do know that you need to get your shit together and figure out what you want.”

“I don’t know what I want okay! Happy now?” There was silence as both John and Bo weren’t sure of what to say next. “Rebecca’s a wonderful woman, I’m just not sure of my feelings anymore.”

Just then, the front door opened and Hope walked in, Marlena following behind her with a bottle of wine in hand.

Marlena’s heart rate sped up when she felt John’s presence. Catching his eye, she stammered. “Oh, I…Hi Bo,” she smiled in his direction.

“Hello to you too, Marlena,” said John, looking over his shoulder at her.

She smiled tightly. “John.”

“Hey Marlena, I didn’t know you’d be joining us tonight.” Bo walked up to her and hugged her gently, taking both hers and Hope’s coats and hung them up.

“Actually Bo, I didn’t know John would be here either,” Hope said after Bo kissed her. “Your car isn’t in the driveway,” she directed this to John.

John nodded and smiled. “Parked in the back.”

“Oh, well it’s nice to see you but if you men will excuse us, Marlena and I are going to have a girls night. We won’t be in your way.” The women walked into the kitchen then.

“Leave her be man,” Bo warned when he saw a look cross John’s face. “If she wanted to talk to you she would have called you back or texted you.”

**

“I don’t feel right being here. I should probably go.” Marlena looked at Hope with an apologetic glance when they got into the kitchen.

Hope shook her head adamantly. “Don’t be silly. We’ll go up to my room, drink some wine and watch chick flicks.”

“But Hope…” Marlena shook her head, unsure.

Squeezing her on the upper arms, Hope said, “you won’t even see him. Pretend like he’s not here.”

Desperately needing a girls night and the distraction, Marlena finally agreed. “Let’s hurry up and drink,” she said. Both women laughed as they filled their glasses and walked up to Hope’s bedroom.

“You know,” Marlena paused to enjoy the wine, closing her eyes briefly, head resting on the headboard. “When I got home from work today there were flowers on my doorstep.”

Hope stopped scrolling through Netflix and turned to look at her friend. “Flowers? From who?” The look on Marlena’s face was the only answer she needed. “Ah, I get it now. Why you didn’t want to stay when you realized John was here.”

Marlena nodded, thinking back to earlier that evening.

Feeling tired and drained from a long day, Marlena was relieved and happy to finally be home where she could relax. When the doors of the elevator opened to the penthouse floor her eyes caught sight of the most beautiful lilies sitting in a breathtaking raspberry crystal vase beside her door. Curiously she looked around before walking closer.

With a smile on her face she bent down to retrieve the beautiful arrangement and brought it to her face, burying her nose in the flowers and inhaling deeply. A moment later she opened the door. She carefully set the vase down on the desk along with her keys, purse and briefcase. While taking off and hanging her peacoat she admired her surprise.

“Oh James,” she said. He was so good to her, even when she pulled away from him. She was about to call James to thank him for the flowers when a note caught her eye.

Her hand started shaking as she read the note attached to the flowers. It was only three simple words but they were enough to shake her.

I’m sorry,

John

She stood there, stunned and not knowing what to think or how to react. What did this mean?

Hope’s compassionate voice pulled her from her thoughts. “Want to talk about it?”

Swallowing more wine, Marlena shook her head. “I want to drink and laugh those feelings away.”

Adjusting the pillow behind her and the comforter at her hips Hope clasped a hand around Marlena’s wrist and squeezed. “Sounds like a plan,” she said happily. “How about Bridesmaids?”

“Fitting since you’re getting married in a few weeks,” said Marlena, making herself more comfortable.

Less than a half hour into the movie and Hope’s glass of wine was empty. “I could use a refill,” she managed to get out between laughs. Reaching towards her bedside table, she noticed that the bottle of wine was not there. “We must have forgotten it in the kitchen.”

“How is that even possible?” Throwing the covers from her lap, Marlena got up. “I’ll go get it.”

Once downstairs she saw that Abe and Roman had joined the boys. “Oh hi,” she said.

Roman waived while Abe said “hey Marlena, why don’t you and Hope come join the party?”

“You mean the men’s beer club,” she winked. “Nah, Hope and I are enjoying our wine and movie, but thanks for the invite.” Heading into the kitchen she was startled to see John closing the fridge door. She hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t in the living room with the guys.

“Hi,” said John, both hands holding two bottles of beers each.

“Hi.” Grabbing the bottle of wine from the table, Marlena turned to leave.

“Wait…”

She sighed. “What is it John?” she asked with her eyes closed and her back still to him.

“I went looking for you today…”

“I know.”

“I left flowers on your doorstep,” John added.

“I know.” Turning around, she smiled sadly. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.”

He put the beers down on the table before coming to stand closer to her. “You’re beautiful.”

Marlena averted her eyes and cleared her throat, feeling a little uneasy.

“I had to go to two different flowers shops to find the pink lilies that you love so much.”

Marlena’s heart warmed then. She didn’t expect him to remember something like that. Masking her thoughts, she spoke with an annoyed tone. “What do you want John?”

For all the time he spent looking for her earlier today, he had not thought of what he would actually say once he found her. Looking down for a moment, he thought of something to say.

Looking deep into her eyes he said, “I meant what I wrote in the note.”

“You’re sorry? About what exactly?” She shifted her weight onto her left leg and tucked the wine under her left arm, holding it steady.

“Everything…I…just..everything.” He didn’t know where to start.

Marlena bit the inside of her cheek and nodded. “Okay.” She didn’t know what else to say.

Taking another step closer so they were less than two feet apart, John began, in a sad but sincere tone. “I’m sorry for giving up on you…on us. I’m sorry for not seeing the pain you were in. I’m sorry for not giving you another chance when you asked me to…But most of all I’m sorry for abandoning you and treating you like I never cared.”

This time when Marlena bit the inside of he cheek it was to keep herself from sobbing. She looked to the side, at the cabinets, and clenched her free fist.

“And I’m sorry for just showing up again and expecting you to be okay with our arrangement,” John added. “I didn’t think about how it would affect you.”

She couldn’t say anything. With a few tears already escaping her eyes, she knew if she did say something she would fall apart.

For John, one of the hardest things was seeing the pain that he caused reflected into her eyes. He placed his right hand on the side of her face, fingers curling at the back of her neck. “Don’t cry. You know I hate to see you cry.”

Just then the door swung open and Hope appeared. She looked between John and Marlena who were still unaware of her presence. She cleared her throat, causing the duo to pull apart quickly. “Everything alright in here?”

Smiling at Hope, John said, “just talking about Basic Black. If you’ll excuse me.” He looked at Marlena one more time before grabbing the beers again, smiling once more at Hope and walking back out to the guys.

Marlena wiped the lone tear on her right cheek away. “Let’s go back upstairs.”

“I told Bo, Abe and Roman that we would join them for a quick drink,” said Hope, who was now standing face to face with Marlena. “Are you okay?” She wiped the side of Marlena’s face when she noticed remnants of the tear that was just there a moment ago.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “just give me a minute.” Smiling, she squeezed Hope’s hand before the other woman took the wine from Marlena’s grasp and walked into the living room. Standing alone in the dimly lit kitchen, Marlena took a couple of deep breaths, trying to gain control of her emotions.

Once she felt she would no longer cry at the drop of a hat she walked out to join her friends.

Hope patted the seat beside her on the couch and extended a glass of wine. “I poured you a drink.”

“Thank you.” Taking it, Marlena drank half the content of the glass before setting it on the table. She looked around at Bo and Roman who were talking about Caroline, Abe asking Hope details about the wedding and John pretending to be listening to the conversation but she knew better.

She could still feel his eyes burning into her but when she looked up he quickly averted his eyes. Once again focusing on Hope and Abe’s wedding conversation, Marlena tried to keep her eyes away from John whenever she got the sense that he was looking at her which made her heart rate speed up but at the same time she felt relaxed by being around him.

Suddenly, she felt a different pair of eyes on her. Looking around, she caught Roman staring at her from across the living room. She smiled at him and looked away again, eyes focusing on John once more.

This time when she caught his eye he did not look away. Instead, their eyes locked together and it was like the whole room faded away and it was just the two of them left. Without even needing words, she could feel that he was truly sorry and that he was in pain himself knowing the amount of pain he put her through.

A loud voice pulled them from their own world and Marlena saw Bo hitting Roman on the arm.

“What are you thinking bro?” Bo asked Roman when he noticed him zoned out and not paying attention to the conversation they were having.

Roman chuckled to himself before speaking. “I’m thinking that I regret not asking Marlena out before John beat me to it.” He looked up at Marlena and winked as everyone laughed.

“You’re a little late now, don’t you think Roman,” Marlena winked. “Maybe you had a chance before I started to think of you as my brother.”

Ouch, that’s worse than the friend zone, Roman thought, though he hid it with a laugh and a drink of beer. “I love you too,” he joked.

Putting his arm around Hope, Bo pulled her closer into his embrace. “Well since we’re playing this game; one thing I wish I would have done was propose to this Fancy Face sooner.”

The girls “awwe’d” simultaneously and Hope leaned in to kiss him. “Took you long enough,” she joked and everyone laughed.

Bo kissed her temple. “In just three weeks we’ll be saying ‘I do’ and you’ll be stuck with me for life.”

“There’s no place I’d rather be, Brady.” Hope beamed up at him.

Clearing his throat, Abe spoke next. “Well I don’t have any regrets or things I wish I could do over but there is something…” he said rather nervously. “Don’t say anything,” he looked directly at Hope and Marlena when he said this. “But I’m thinking of asking Lexie to marry me.”

Hope shrieked, hands going up to cover her mouth as Marlena smiled a smile that nearly reached her eyes.

“I’m happy for you Abraham,” John said while Bo and Roman laughed and threw out words of approval.

Still smiling, Hope touched her heart and looked at Abe. “Saying yes will be the best decision Lexie will ever make. I’m speaking from experience,” she smiled at Bo who winked back at her.

Once the excitement died down a little Abe turned to John. “What about you John?”

“Well Abraham, I don’t have many regrets.” Slowly looking up from the bottle in his hands, his eyes lingered on Marlena. “Only one,” he said.

After a moment too long of his eyes burning into her soul, Marlena tore her gaze away and took another drink of her wine.

Just then the doorbell rang. “I wonder who that could be,” said Hope and she got up to answer the door. “Rebecca, hi!” She was surprised to see her standing at her door. She politely invited her in.

“Sorry if I’m interrupting anything,” she said. She looked at John and then at Marlena, not pleased to see her there. “I’m sorry I’m a little late, I got caught up in a meeting.” She took off her coat and hung it up.

“Late?” John asked, walking up to greet her. He kissed her lightly on the cheek and gave her a hug, Rebecca holding on longer than necessary.

“I invited her,” said Bo. “I figured you’re only in town for a couple of days and you haven’t had a chance to see her yet so I called her up.”

“Thank you for that Bo,” Rebecca said.

“Yeah thanks pal,” John said but his eyes said a different story. He led Rebecca to the chair he had occupied, it being the only seat available. He sat down and Rebecca sat down on his lap.

Clearing her throat, Marlena refused to stay and look at them. “I should get going,” she said, plastering on a fake smile. “It was nice seeing everybody.”

Hope looked apologetically at Marlena. “Call me tomorrow okay?” The two friends hugged and Hope whispered in her ear, “I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

Marlena nodded and got up. She said her goodbyes again before opening the door.

“Goodbye Marlena,” she heard John say before she closed the door behind her.

**

When Marlena left, Rebecca said “and now I have room to sit,” as she got up from John’s lap and sat in the newly vacated seat. “Not that I was complaining about your lap, honey.”

John laughed softly, hiding the annoyance he felt with the ignorant comment she had just made. “I’m sorry I didn’t call, it’s been a busy day.” John finished the remainder of his beer, looking around for another one.  “I was going to call you tomorrow,” he said when he stood up.

“It’s alright baby, I just wish you weren’t leaving tomorrow night,” she whined.

“I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Yeah, there’s no way I’m letting him miss the wedding. I need all my groomsmen present and accounted for,” Bo joked.

“Anyone need anymore drinks?” He looked around at his friends who were all still working on their bottles. “Just me I guess.”

Hope offered Rebecca some wine or a beer, which she declined politely. “I can’t stay long, my boss is making me work through the weekend to prep for trial starting next week. But I’d love to see you tomorrow?” she looked at John when she said this.

“Yeah, why don’t you stop by the new house tomorrow? I’ll be helping my folks unpack if you want to come over.” He disappeared into the kitchen then and came back a moment later with two more beers.

Rebecca looked at him wide eyed. “Is everything alright?”

Popping the cap off the beer John took a big swig and nodded as he swallowed the cold liquid. “Stressful day.” He sunk back into the chair, drinking some more.

Leaning on the edge of her seat to be closer to John, Rebecca whispered, “Probably didn’t help that Marlena was here either.”

Not wanting to lie or to start an argument, he ignored it, instead asking about her day.

Nearly an hour later, Rebecca was leaving and kissing John goodbye at the door. “I love you,” she whispered against his lips.

“Love you too. I’ll see you tomorrow.” With a final kiss, John directed her out the door. Out of frustration he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily.

From her position beside Bo, Hope looked over her shoulder and called out to John. “Need another cold one?”

“Oh yeah,” he chuckled. He followed Hope into the kitchen.

“I wasn’t going to say anything but,” Hope paused to sigh deeply, leaning against the fridge once she took out a beer and handed it to John. “After what I’ve seen tonight I decided I should.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Hope. You’re going to have to be more specific.” He kept looking at her as he drank, assuming she was talking about Rebecca.

“What I walked in on earlier in here and don’t think I didn’t catch the look you gave Marlena when you said you only had one regret.”

John placed the bottle on the counter. “I think you’ve misread things,” he played it off, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I don’t think so…John, I know about you and Marlena.” There was a brief pause. “She told me.”

John’s jaw clenched, taken aback. After what Bo told him earlier he shouldn’t be surprised, but there he was, shocked that Marlena would open her mouth about something personal so carelessly, especially something as serious as this.

Hope ran her hands through her hair before saying more. Finally, she looked up at John and let it all out. “She loved you and a part of her will always care about you, which is why you sleeping with her again hurts her.”

“Hope –” John warned before being cut off.

She held up a finger. “I’m not finished yet…I’m sorry to have to say this but you giving her attention, acting like you care and being gentle with her just makes it worse. You’re toying with her emotions so stop calling her, stop texting her, don’t send her any more flowers, and please don’t go looking for more sex. I think it would be best if you went back to not seeing or talking to each other.”

Staying quiet, John nodded. He understood her point but he was too pissed off to say anything.

Running her fingers behind her ear, she tucked away some hair. “Not just better for Marlena, but better for you and Rebecca as well,” Hope finished, eyebrow raised high as she left John alone, going to kiss Bo and wish the guys a goodnight before heading up to bed.

Coming back into the living room a few minutes later, John walked slowly to the empty chair, letting himself fall into it. “I’ll be heading out soon. I called a cab to come pick me up. Alright if I leave my car here overnight?”

“Yeah, sure,” said Bo.

As the guys went back to their conversation, Roman observed John’s silent demeanor, clenched jaw and spaced out look. “You alright?” There was no answer. “John!”

John jumped slightly, coming back to his senses. “Hmm?”

“Are you okay?” Roman asked again, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

John nodded. “Just had one too many I think.” Just then a honk was heard. “Must be my ride. It was nice seeing you guys again,” he said as he put his leather coat on. The friends said goodbye and he walked out.

“Where to?” the taxi man asked once John closed the door behind him.

“24 Riverview Drive.”

Stumbling off the elevator, John found himself on the 14th floor, knocking on a familiar door. A couple of minutes went by without an answer to his knocking when suddenly the door opened to a half asleep Marlena who was squinting against the light in the hallway. “John? Do you have any idea what time it is?”

Still under the effect of alcohol, John couldn’t help but to admire the goddess that stood before him. She was wearing a short black lacy nightgown and a matching robe that was left untied. Her hair was disheveled and it reminded him of the way she looked after sex. “Fuck,” he whispered under his breath and bit his bottom lip.

“What?” Marlena ran her fingers through her hair and placed the wayward hairs behind her ears. Doing this, she noticed her robe was open and her chest was barely covered by the thin material of her nightgown. She pulled the lapels together and tied a tight knots at her waist.

“We need to talk,” John managed to say once the breathtaking view of Marlena’s chest was covered up.

Marlena leaned against the door frame and put a hand on the door handle. “I don’t think so. In case you didn’t know, it’s past 1 am.”

“I’m not leaving here until I say what I came here to say.” Pushing past her, he walked into the dimly lit penthouse.

“John!” Marlena said angrily.

Tripping over his own feet John laughed as he barely caught his balance. He turned around and faced Marlena, finally standing tall and stable.

Closing the door, she folded her arms across her chest. “Are you drunk,” she asked, exasperated.

“That’s not what I came here to discuss.”

“Are you crazy John? What were you thinking driving while you’re intoxicated? And to show up at my home in the middle of the night! Where are your keys?” When he didn’t say anything she walked up to him and began searching the pockets of his jacket.

“What are you doing?” John fought back, pushing her away more forcibly than intended.

She looked up at him, hurt and shock displayed all over her face. He had never been forceful with her before. She backed up a few more steps.

“Doc, I’m s-” he tried but Marlena cut him off.

“Don’t,” she said sadly. “Just give me your keys and I’ll call you a taxi.”

“I didn’t drive. A cab brought me here.”

“Oh.” Marlena opened her mouth to speak a few times but hesitated.

“I left my car at Bope’s house,” he said, unaware that he had produced a couple’s nickname.

Marlena chuckled at his slip of the tongue before becoming serious again. “John, I’d like you to leave.”

“What, you don’t want to talk?” He asked sarcastically, taking off his coat and throwing it on the couch. “That’s strange, I thought that was one of your favourite things to do. How about I call Hope, maybe you’d want to talk to her.”

Marlena batted her eyes and tilted her head to the side, puzzled.

Eyeing her accusingly, he took a step closer to her as he said, “I know.” Again, Marlena just gave a puzzled look. “Or maybe I should say Hope knows. Hey, maybe the whole town knows!” he yelled. “Maybe Rebecca knows too but she’s just been keeping it to herself until she can figure out a way of hurting me back.”

At that moment it clicked. “John, I didn’t.” She took a step forward, hands stretching out to touch his arm but she pulled back, remembering that he was no longer hers to touch.

“You didn’t what? You didn’t tell Hope?”

“I did,” she admitted and then immediately she added “but-“

“I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear your excuses and your lies,” he yelled, walking away from her, closer the stairs.

“John, let me explain. Please..” She followed him.

“I don’t go blabbing my mouth across town about something that is personal and private! What’s the matter with you?” He furrowed his eyebrows. “Why would you go tell everyone about your sex life?”

“I’m sorry! It’s what girls do.” Shrugging her shoulders up, she didn’t know what else to say to calm him down.

“All girls gossip about sex? Well that makes it alright then!” There was a moment of silence before he continued. “You’re just trying to be like the rest of them.”

“I’m sorry okay! I just needed to talk to someone about it. Some of us need to get it out, we can’t just go on pretending .”

“Oh so now you want to talk,” he replied sarcastically.

Marlena’s put her hands on her hips. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing,” he replied, beginning to close off.

“No, you obviously want to say something so just say it!” She threw her arms out wide, indicating she was ready for whatever he threw at her.

John didn’t say anything for a minute, he just eyed her intensely, anger building up as he watched her. “Every time you’d get mad at me for nothing you wouldn’t want to talk about it. Total silent treatment until you’d get out of your pissy mood or the odd time that I could manage to pry it out of you.”

“Are you fucking serious john?” Her hands went up to her head where she held herself for a moment. “You’re going to yell and be mad at me for that? Get over it!”  

“I just find it funny how you had this sudden change of heart.”

“I’m a psychiatrist, I know that it’s not good to keep things bottled up.”

“Well you learned that one a little too late didn’t you,” he spat, rolling his eyes.

Without thinking, Marlena brought her right hand back and flung it hard across John’s face.

Immediately, he grabbed her roughly by the upper arms, pulling her body inches away from his. With searing eyes he looked her over and said, “you’re even hotter when you’re angry.”

“We’re not doing this.” She tried to pull away but his grip was too strong. “Let’s just finish this conversation so you can leave.”

Again, he didn’t say anything. He just looked intensely at her, making her nervous.

“I just told Laura and Hope,” she said, all the while trying to wriggle her arms free. “I needed to tell someone! It’s not like I can talk to you about it.”

Without saying a word, John pulled her fiercely into him, his lips crushing onto hers.

Caught off guard, Marlena responded greedily, grabbing at his head and trying to pull him deeper into her mouth. Only when he reached between them to untie her robe did Marlena come to her senses. She moaned in disapproval, tearing her mouth from his. “John,” she breathed heavily, the bitter taste of beer still on her lips.

John had no intention of stopping. Doing something he knew she loved, he attached his lips onto the skin behind her ear, lapping his tongue against the heated flesh.

In that moment, Marlena was putty in his arms, all thoughts long gone. Letting go of his biceps, she linked her arms together around his neck.

Taking that as a signal, John went back to the robe, quickly untying the knot and slipping the silky material down past her shoulders to pool at their feet. His lips left that sweet spot behind her ear and skimmed across her collar bone, going up to her jaw and working their way back to her plump lips.

Marlena parted her lips instantly, eager to accept his duelling tongue. They kissed so intensely for a long period of time, hands skimming all over the other’s body, teeth nipping at each other’s lips and taking turns swallowing their mouths whole.

Breaking part for some much needed air, their eyes locked together, getting lost in a sea of hazel and blue. John leaned in to peck her lips once more before he slipped his t-shirt over his head and threw it to the side. His next move made her gasp.

John dropped to his knees in one silent fall. His hands skimmed up her soft legs, up the back of her thighs and coming to a stop on her perfectly round and firm ass. Pulling her body closer to him, he took a moment to kiss the tops of her creamy thighs, right where the hem of her nightie ended. His bristly chin tickled her skin, which seemed to radiate even more heat throughout her body.

Deftly, he slid his hands under the nightgown and he curled his fingers in the waistband of her underwear, pulling them down her long legs, exposing the top of her smooth, perfect, mound. He then leaned in close and breathed deeply. It was intoxicating, a mix of her sweet natural essence and, most dizzying, her unspoken desire.

Pulling back to stare into her lust filled eyes, John pushed her softly backwards a few steps until the backs of her thighs collided with the back of the sofa. Lifting the hem of her nightgown to bunch at her waist, he kissed his way down her mound, finishing just above the hood of her clit.

It teased her in a way she didn’t know she could be teased. It was electricity, frustration and horny all at once. Marlena let out a strangled moan, more like a squeak than a moan, and leaned her head back. She shuffled her legs further apart, silently urging him to hit the target.

But he continued to tease. His busy tongue made a slow waltz around her slit, tracing long lines up and down the outside folds. Her nectar was flowing freely now, and he lapped up every drop, becoming rougher as burried his face deeply within her legs.

The pressure built up, and after several long minutes he finally made direct contact with her pulsing little clit. The sheer shock made Marlena moan loudly, her hand pulling on John’s hair.

He held nothing back now, even daring once to nip her bud between his teeth. The effect was literally breathtaking. Marlena sucked in a gasp, and held her breath as he feasted. When she finally exhaled it was ragged and short. She was so close, but it wasn’t time yet.

Without warning John stood up, and with a swirl spun Marlena around, the tops of her thighs touching the back of the sofa. The devoted attention from John’s mouth had left her just shy of orgasm, and this plateau was unbearable.

As he pushed his body against hers he leaned in close to her ear. “Brace yourself,“ he whispered.

Looking over her shoulder, she gave him the slightest of a backwards glance as she licked her lips.

Marlena broke John’s grip and spun on the spot. Her hands shot up and grabbed either side of his head, pulling his still-slick lips to hers, and locking in for a kiss that left them both weak at the knees. She smiled as they broke apart.

“Turn around.” He growled.

Spinning back, poking her uncovered ass out toward him. She looked back over her shoulder, and flashed him a pout. A fucking sexy pout.

He fumbled with his pants, unzipping and sliding them down his legs until he could kick them off, along with his shoes. Looking down at her bare bottom, he brought a hand back and slapped her, hard, causing a gasp to escape past Marlena’s lips. “I want to fuck you so bad…” he breathed, so erect it hurt.

Bracing herself against the cushions, Marlena continued to poke her butt back out at him, even giving it a wiggle. John placed a hand on either side of her hips, and positioned himself just at her sweet spot. He palmed her hips and paused to admire the perfect curves of the booty he was about to devour. The tip of him touched her glistening center, sending further sparks through both their nervous systems.

“Push back,” he commanded, and she slowly dropped onto his shaft, each inch sliding into her, bringing them closer together in every way. After several slow heartbeats she felt her ass cheeks make contact with his body, and shuffled a little, knowing how deep inside her he was. They both groaned.

Shifting slightly upwards, he circled his hands around her waist, holding her tightly to his body and slowly, excruciatingly slowly, he began to pull back and push forward.

Her slick pussy trilled with each one of his slow, dominating thrusts. The pace, though infuriating for her, made her vagina feel like it was melting away. Each time the head of his cock pushed all the way into her it brushed up against some deep trigger point, making her shudder. Shudder from her knees up to her shoulders. This position, this angle and his cock together were a combination that worked so well it frightened her. She was already putty in his hand, and considering the warm up oral lashing, there was no way she’d last long now.

Lowering his hands from her waist, he caressed her thighs as he thrust into her with long, slow, deep thrusts that made her quiver in his arms. Skimming his left hand up her body he cupped her neck, turning it to the side to angle her face towards his. Leaning forward, he captured her lips in a slow sensual kiss, matching the rhythm of his thrusts.

They stayed in this position for a few minutes, not rushing, just enjoying the feeling of being deeply connected while their tongues explored the other’s mouth. This was satisfying until John wanted more.

He now held her shoulder tight with one hand, and her waist with the other, and very slowly he picked up the pace. Within a few moments each thrust in matched her heart rate, and Marlena was edging her way to the point of no return.

“Oh fuck,” she cried every time he pushed into her.

With another growl John grabbed her ear between his teeth. “You feel so fucking good.”

“Fuck! Fuck Fuck…” Marlena replied. Incoherent and overwhelmed by the animalistic fucking, she seemed to lose the power of speech.

John’s mind was a blur, too, but at least as the aggressor he set the pace. He was pounding her fast now, each thrust pushing the sofa she leaned on, rocking the world back and forth for them both.

“Close, oh fuck, so close…” Marlena warned, “don’t stop.” The pressure built in her pussy, the fire burned in her belly.

Hearing her moan words like that sent John into overdrive. He pumped for his life, drilling his cock back and forth into her, pushing them both to within seconds of exploding.

Then without any notice, he slipped out, squeezing both butt cheeks as he did so.

“Wha..why did you stop?” Marlena asked breathlessly. On shaky knees, she managed to turn around.

“I’m not finished yet,” he said in a husky voice. John then picked her up, her legs wrapping around his hips, and carried her around to sit on the sofa.

He sat down with her straddling him, hands skimming up her hips, bringing her nightgown up as they traveled higher and pulled it over her head, throwing it aside.

His mouth went to her chest, feasting on one of his favorite parts of her body. Cupping the back of his head, Marlena watched him, enthralled with the view of him not only pleasing her, but pleasing himself also. He always loved to feast on her breasts.

As one mouth worked hard on her left breast, John’s hand went to work on the other one, circling his finger around her areola, inching closer to the nipple before retreating. Pulling his mouth away, he blew a hot breath on the wet nipple, eliciting a moan from Marlena. Looking up, he grinned at her as his fingers finally reached her hardened nipple, pinching and tweaking it endlessly between his fingertips while his free hand rested on her ass.

Rising up, Marlena took his hard shaft in her hand, pumped it a few times and held it as she slowly descended down onto him.

John’s warm mouth went back to her breast, sucking greedily while occasionally nipping at the nipple while Marlena settled into a slow but satisfying rhythm. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, never wanting him to let go of her breasts, while she guided her hips over him. In a wave like manor she would lift up off of him completely, feeling him glide out of her warmth before coming back down to welcome him again, clenching her muscles around him when he was fully buried inside of her, causing groans to escape him and stronger bites along her heated mounds.

While John devoured every inch of skin on her chest, neck and shoulders, Marlena’s hands couldn’t stop roaming over his body, touching every inch of him. Oh how she loved the feel of his skin against hers.

Pulling at his hair, Marlena smiled when he let go of her breast and looked up at her. She leaned down and gave him a soft peck on the lips.

With one hand on her left hip, John grabbed a fist full of Marlena’s hair and pulled back hard, revealing her long neck and causing a gasp to escape past her lips. He started by licking a straight line up her trachea and then moved to the left side where he devoured every inch of flesh, placing open-mouthed kisses all over while continuing to guide her movements atop him with his hand.

Letting go of her hair and holding her hips steady, he stilled her movements and lifted his hips, thrusting up into her at full speed for an amazing few seconds before he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and flipped her onto her back, climbing between her legs.

“I like the way you feel around me,” he said before he pushed her down with a breath-stealing kiss, driving his hard length inside her so that she gasped loudly and wrapped her arms around his neck. She was so wet he had slid in easily, all the way to the hilt. They looked at each other in relief, because nothing had ever felt so…right, though neither would admit it.

He slowly pulled all the way out of her hot center, and her whimper turned into a delicious moan when she felt the head of his cock nudge her apart again, her walls clenching around him tightly.

“Oh, that’s good,” she sighed, wrapping her legs around his waist.

“It’s gonna get better,” he smirked, repeating the measured stroke just to hear her little sounds. She moaned her appreciation, unable to stop running her hands over him. He put his mouth to her ear, biting the lobe gently and began to thrust steadily.

“Yes…” she sighed, eyelids fluttering closed, “Yes, yes…”

They’d done this millions of time before, but this wasn’t one of those times, it was raw and wet and hard, making her skin thrum with pleasure. She opened her eyes, panting, sitting up on her elbows to watch his cock slide in and out of her and reveling in it at the same time. John was biting his lip and gazing down at her face with concentration, and then her orgasm hit her without warning, in strong, unrelenting waves.

“Fuck! Oh my God, I’m…Mmmph,” Marlena groaned, her orgasm shot from her pussy up her spine and back down to her clit. It was an explosion that left her seeing stars. As her vagina convulsed in waves it pushed John over into mania.

He bucked his hips wildly, causing screams of pleasure to escape Marlena. To and fro he went, faster than ever before, almost splitting her in two. The way her muscles were clamping around him felt like heaven and he never wanted to stop but he knew he was inching closer and closer to the inevitable end. With a few final deep thrusts he groaned as he pulled out, spurting his seed onto Marlena’s stomach.

“Let me get something to clean you off,” he said through heavy breaths once he had sat down on the other end of the sofa for a moment.

“On the desk,” Marlena replied in a soft and satisfied voice. She closed her eyes and relaxed for a few moments until John returned with a box of tissues.

While Marlena cleaned herself off, he put his briefs back on and looked around the penthouse. He hadn’t noticed it before, but things had not changed in here in the last year. Everything was still in the same place as it was when they still dated; the only thing that was different now was that the pictures of them were long gone.

Wrapping the throw around her body, Marlena got up and headed for the stairs. She turned around and looked at him and said, “You can sleep on the sofa for tonight.”

He looked at the sofa and then at her, laughing softly. “I guess I’m not lucky enough to sleep with a blanket?”

Marlena looked around before realizing she was wrapped around in the throw blanket. Looking around, she spotted the first item of clothing she could and she picked it up. Letting the blanket fall to the ground she put on the shirt and walked up the stairs quickly.

It wasn’t until she was in bed that she noticed that she had on John’s t-shirt. Pulling it up to her nose she inhaled deeply, feeling content in being wrapped around in his shirt and his smell. She settled into bed, falling into a deep and peaceful sleep, comforted by the fact that John was under her roof and his shirt was keeping her warm.

When Marlena came down the stairs the next morning she was surprised to find the living room empty with John nowhere in sight. Her garments her were still strewn along the floor but John’s clothes were gone. She scanned the room again, looking for a sign or a note indicating that he had gone. When her eyes caught sight of his shoes beside the sofa, she smiled. He’s still here.

She walked towards the kitchen when she heard some noise. She stopped in the doorway once she got there, one foot planted on the ground, lifting her right ankle up and bending her knee. She watched in silence as John, dressed in only his dark blue jeans, poured coffee in a mug. Her breath caught in her throat when the muscles on his back rippled as he busied himself. Unconsciously, she let out a soft moan.

With his back still to her he smiled. “Morning.”

“Good morning,” she replied, coming to stand closer to him in the middle of the room.

“I hope you don’t mind, I made some coffee.” Turning around, he had two mugs in his hands and he extended one to her. “Just the way you like it.”

“Thank you,” she replied shyly, bringing the mug to her lips.

John’s eyes roamed her body, starting at her exposed creamy legs, up to the hem of her shirt that stopped at the top of her thighs. As his eyes kept traveling upwards he realized it was his shirt that she was wearing. He continued up to her angelic face. She looked so relaxed and satisfied that he couldn’t help but grin. “I couldn’t find my shirt when I woke up this morning. I think I found it.” He pointed to her.

Looking down, Marlena realized she was still wearing his black t-shirt. “I’m sorry, it was the first thing I grabbed on my way up last night.”

“I’m not complaining.” He took a drink of his coffee and admired her some more.

She set the coffee mug on the island. “I can go change.” She started to turn around when his voice stopped her.

“Leave it. You always did look better in my shirts than I did,” he said with a grin.

Marlena sat down on one of the stools and crossed one leg over the other, hands clasped together around her mug. “I’ll drive you to your car as soon as I get dressed.”

“No rush.” He leaned his back against the island, looking ahead at the refrigerator, one arm crossed over his chest as the other brought the hot coffee to his mouth.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Marlena asked, remembering how he stumbled into her apartment in the middle of the night and the taste of beer on his lips.

“I’m feeling fine. No headache.” He chuckled softly, thankful that he wasn’t hungover. “How’s residency?”

She was a little surprised that he would ask, that he cared. “It’s going very well,” she nodded enthusiastically. “It keeps me busy and it’s challenging at times but that’s to be expected.”

“I heard you left the hospital, that you’re off with another doctor.” John set the mug down and turned around, leaning his forearms on the island.

“I did.” She was going to leave it at that but she could tell by the look on John’s face that he wanted to know more. “She was one of the attending’s at University Hospital and she really took me under her wing so naturally I would want to learn more from her so I followed her.”

“That sounds like you’re at an advantage compared to being at a hospital with multiple residents fighting over patients,” he chuckled.

“I never thought about it that way,” Marlena said, pondering it. “I’m really interested in complex mental illnesses and I actually have a case with one right now so it’s great.”

“I’m happy for you,” he said, taking in the beaming smile plastered on Marlena’s face. “Sounds like you’ve got everything you’ve ever wanted.” He stood up again and went back to leaning his back against the counter.

Almost everything, she thought.

They drank their drinks in silence for a couple of minutes before John spoke again. “It felt good waking up here, kind of like old times.”

“John,” Marlena warned. When he turned around to look at her intensely, she got off the stool and began walking away. “I’m going to go get dressed, then we can leave.”

When she came back downstairs she was dressed in faded blue jeans and a navy blue v-neck long sleeve shirt, her hair was pulled up into a messy bun with tendrils of hair framing her face. Carrying the folded t-shirt, she walked over to John who was standing by the piano, inspecting the flowers he had bought her the day before.

“Here you go,” she said in a small voice when she handed the shirt back to him. She admired his body once more as he stretched to put the shirt on.

John inhaled as he dressed again, Marlena’s scent embedded in the fabric of the t-shirt. He smiled softly without realizing.

“What?” she asked.

Wiping the smile away, he pointed at the flowers. “You like them?”

Marlena nodded. “They’re beautiful…and the vase. It’s gorgeous. You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to. I really am sorry.”

Marlena was silent for a moment, nodding her head. “So am I. Not just for telling Hope and Laura, but for everything.”

John understood. “I’m sorry for everything too.”

Marlena scratched the side of her head. “Look, can we just accept each other’s apologies and move on. Clean slate?”

“That would be nice. I’m tired of being angry with you.”

Marlena chocked up then, her right hand going to her lips. She swallowed hard and nodded. “I know we can’t be friends, but surely we can be friendly towards one another when it’s necessary. I’m tired of hating you and having to ignore you.”

“Of course…I’m sorry things couldn’t have worked out differently.”

Tears formed in her eyes as she swallowed tightly, trying to get a handle on her emotions. “Me too,” she managed to get out, voice cracked. To distract herself, Marlena went around the room to pick up the nightgown, panties and robe from last night. “I’m ready to go whenever you are,” she said as she placed the items on the back of the sofa.

She was reaching for her jacket when the doorbell rang. When she opened it, a deliveryman handed her a bouquet of lilies, these ones white.

“Those aren’t from me,” said John once she closed the door. He walked over to her and inspected them, noticing the card sticking out.

“They’re from James,” she mocked when she opened the little card. I miss you. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready, the card read.

John had a feeling they were from him. After all, James knew, thanks to him, that lilies were Marlena’s favourite flowers. Secretly, John was glad he didn’t tell James that she preferred the pink ones most.

“Aren’t you going to put those in water?” he asked when Marlena simply put them on the desk.

“I’ll do it when I get back.” Grabbing her iPhone and her keys, she opened the front door.

**

They were stopped at a red light when John leaned his arm across the center console and placed his hand on Marlena’s thigh. He didn’t say a word as he slowly brought his hand up and closer to her center.

With her breath caught in her throat, Marlena didn’t say anything. She focused on the red light, trying to calm herself down. She knew she should tell him to stop but she couldn’t. When his hand travelled higher, nearly at her center, she squeezed her legs together, trapping his hand. “John,” she warned, shaking her head adamantly.

“Shh,” he whispered while leaning over, kissing her exposed neck softly but quickly before settling back in his seat, hand still buried between her legs. “Just drive,” he said when the light switched to green.

She loosened the grip between her legs, freeing his hand. As she started accelerating his hand continued its journey upwards, stopping at the button of her jeans. He undid the button and the zipper and quickly slipped his hand inside, cupping her wet center.

Marlena gasped then and again she clamped her legs together, foot releasing from the gas peddle. “John,” she breathed.

“Just relax.” He ran his fingers between her wet folds.

She tried to do as he said. She focused on the road ahead, on her speed, she even tried to think of work but when his index circled her clitoris she moaned loudly. “Do you want me to crash?”

John smiled and added more pressure. “That’s the last thing I want.”

Her right hand left the steering wheel and wrapped around his wrist. “If you keep this up that’s what will happen. I can’t focus.” She tried to pull his hand away but to no avail.

John grinned and released her nub, going back to her folds. “Then pull over that way you won’t have to focus on anything.”

She looked at him as if he was crazy. “I’m not going to pull over on the side of the highway.”

John stayed quiet as he slipped two fingers into her, a grin plastered on his face. He observed her reaction; her lips parted and she took a little breath, her eyes closed in pleasure for a second before they snapped open and focused on the road once again. She bit her bottom lip as he began slowly thrusting his fingers in and out.

The next few minutes were agonizing for Marlena as she struggled to maintain her composure and not succumb to the pleasure John and his fingers were providing her. Oh thank god, she thought when she finally found someplace to pull over.

She quickly pulled into an empty parking lot of a school. She drove behind the building, parking in front of a line full of trees.

“Atta girl,” John said, his hand thrusting harder and faster before pulling his fingers away from her.

The moment she turned off the ignition Marlena untied her seatbelt and leaned over, reaching for John’s face. She hungrily kissed him, all the pent up pleasure from the drive coming to the surface.

Never detaching her lips from his, Marlena removed her coat, throwing it in the back seat and used his shoulders as leverage so she could easily slide one leg over his lap, quickly settling into a straddle and groaning when she felt the bulge in his pants already pressing prominently against her. Releasing his shoulders, her hands immediately went to his pants. She undid the belt buckle, the button and the zipper in record time.

Palming her hips, John lifted his hips up, allowing Marlena to lower his jeans and boxers bellow his butt, just enough to free his already erect penis. He groaned into her mouth when her slender hand cupped his balls, massaging them softly.

Marlena bit down into his bottom lip before breaking the kiss. With hooded eyes, she pulled her shirt over her head, tossing the item onto the driver’s seat.

“Last time” she breathed, slipping her hands inside his jacket, pushing the leather off his shoulders.

“Shut up,” he growled, his hands slipping under her bra, cupping her full mounds, causing a gasp to escape Marlena’s lips and her hips to roll desperately.

Her head fell back as his thumbs swiped maddeningly over her nipples, and John immediately took advantage of her exposed neck, licking, scraping, and biting.

Pinching each nipple one more time, John’s hands left her breasts and began sliding down and working at her jeans, pushing the material as far as it would go. Eventually, she was forced to rise from his lap to shove her pants and underwear down her legs.

She couldn’t bite back the breathy moan he elicited when he pulled her back into his lap and she felt the pulsing heat of his erection pressing against her soaked middle.

“Back seat?” John whispered against her jaw, nipping his way to her ear and then down her neck once more.

“No, I want you now,” she moaned as her hips continued to grind into his while she freed him of his tshirt.

Her arms encircled his neck and one of her hands rooted into the softness of his hair when he maneuvered his mouth past the cup of her bra, holding him there as the building tension inside her grew stronger with every brush of his tongue and graze of his teeth.

“John,” she rasped, pressing her cheek against his and he lifted his head, captured her lips again and slid his tongue inside her mouth.

She rose over him, taking the time to hover over his length, teasing him and herself with the slow undulation of her hips until he was coated in her arousal and growling her name. They both groaned in relief when she finally sunk down and took him as deep as he could go.

Marlena took a moment to savor the size and feel of him, the scorching heat of him throbbing and firm inside her, and then she rocked her hips forward, gasping at the sparks of pleasure already shooting up her taut spine. This wouldn’t last long, but it was going to be so good.

At first she lift up unbearably slow, taking him in once again at the same slow pace, enjoying the feeling of him stroking every inch of her inner walls. They both moaned at the tightness and Marlena felt herself go week in the knees. Leaning forward so that her bra covered chest pressed up against his, she began rhythmically rocking her hips into him, slow at first and growing faster.

John’s hands were skimming up the fevered skin of her back, pressing her body closer to his with each thrust, their slick torsos slamming together each time she rose and fell.

Reclining the seat, John pulled Marlena down with him, arms wrapped tightly around her waist as she rode him fast. This new position caused him to slip even deeper into her, heightening her pleasure, causing her moans to come in louder as she threw her head back and arched her back at the same time. Enjoying the view, John took the opportunity to kiss the tops of her breasts, eliciting a hiss from Marlena as he bit down into her skin, shooting a pleasurable pain through her whole body.

When his hands fell to her thighs and he began thrusting up into her, she brought her head back down to look at him. Staring into his eyes she used to see love reflecting back at her, but now all she saw was those same ocean blue eyes filled with nothing but lust. Closing her eyes, Marlena just wanted to enjoy the pleasure he was giving her. Holding tightly to his shoulders, she clung to him and buried her face in his neck, meeting him thrust for thrust.

Her orgasm was building at the base of her spine within seconds, the familiar coil of sizzling heat winding tight in her abdomen, and she could feel that he wasn’t far behind, his shallow breaths coming in short, sharp pants against her clavicle as her inner walls trembled and clamped hard around him. When his hand slipped between them, found her clit and circled hard, she was done.

Marlena buried her face in his neck to stifle the raw sob of relief caught in her throat and clung to him tightly as his pumps became frantic, less rhythmic and more primal as he came. Each contraction shot a line of cum deep into her and for a few seconds the contractions of her sucking pussy matched the convulsion of his exploding cock and they both left their bodies in ecstasy.

As he slowed to a stop, still buried inside her, he leaned his head against hers. They didn’t speak. He kissed her forehead, and she lifts her head, giving him a chance to put one on her lips before she lowered her head to his shoulder.

They were both sticky with sweat and arousal, and lying flush against his naked chest as she slowly began to drift down from the heights of pleasure shouldn’t have been as comfortable as it was in that moment, but she had a difficult time convincing herself to move, especially when John’s hands started tracing inscrutable patterns on the skin of her back.

Marlena lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up to see him watching her uncertainly, a mixture of fear and something she could not recognize dancing in his baby blues. She tilted her head forward and sealed her mouth over his, kissing him thoroughly until she felt him twitch inside her.

“This was a pretty good goodbye,” she murmured into his jaw, scraping her teeth over the light hints of stubble and feeling the groan reverberate through his skin.

“Are you sure you don’t want to use me for my body whenever you want?” he replied, the dark husk of his voice sending goose bumps up Marlena’s arms.

She laughed quietly and slowly maneuvered herself off of him, making a mental note to stop at the drug store and purchase Plan B on her way home.

“As much as I love doing this with you,” she grinned, “we can’t keep doing this. It’s time to end it.”

He smiled back at her, a true smile that made his eyes shine and crinkle in the corners. “Thank you.”

Marlena observed him, very curious for the reasoning behind that smile. “For what?”

“For being amazing at sex and making every last goodbye so good that I need it one more time.”

She blushed. “Well, you’re pretty good yourself.”

John leaned over to kiss her again, taking his time, reverently tracing the seam of her lips with his tongue until she opened for him on a sigh.

“We should go,” she mumbled distractedly, scratching lightly at the stubble she wanted to put her mouth to and he pulled away, turning his attention to gathering the jumbled mess of clothing that had landed across the floorboard.

**

Pulling into the second driveway, the one in the back, Marlena parked beside John’s truck. “This was the last time,” she said seriously.

“Agreed.” He drummed his fingers against his knee and smiled at her. “Well, I better get going, there’s lots to do before I leave again tonight.”

“You’re going back to Chicago tonight?”

“Yeah, I have a some paper work I need to go over and sign before my meeting with the contractor Monday.”

“Well drive safely,” she said sincerely.

“Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you at the wedding.” Leaning over the center console John placed a soft kiss on Marlena’s forehead. His lips lingered as he brought his left hand up, holding on to the back of her head. He pulled his lips away and rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes.

They were silent for a moment, both enjoying the feeling of being this close. Soon Marlena whispered, “this was the last time.” She didn’t know if she was repeating it for John or more so for herself.

“I know.” Slowly he pulled away from her, giving her one last look before he opened the door and slipped out of the car.

Rolling his sleeves up, John clapped his hands together and looked around the spacious living room. “So where did you want me to start?”

“I’d say you could help me unpack all these boxes but your dad would like you to start with the entertainment,” John’s mother giggled. “Speakers are there, sound bar is there, cable box and all the wires you’ll need are there.” She pointed to different boxes scattered around the room. “We’d like the TV to go on that wall above the fireplace.” The stone fireplace was in between two picture windows facing the east side.

John began looking through the boxes and pulling out what he would need primarily. “I kind of need a wall mount to put this up there,” he said as he laughed softly.

Katherine laughed and excused her forgetfulness. “The wall mount should be in one of the boxes near the tv.” She looked around as if to see if there were more instructions to give but she waved it away, knowing that John had it all covered. “If you need me I’ll be in the kitchen putting things away and your father is in the garage.”

When she left, John went to work. He got the stud finder, located and marked where he would put the wall mount. An hour passed as he worked at attaching the mount to the wall. He was thankful for this distraction as it allowed him no time to think of what a mess his life turned out to be.

“How’s it going in here?” The soft tone of Katherine’s voice carried through the living room. When she came in with two coffee mugs John had already put the TV up on the wall. “I think you deserve a break. Here, I made you a coffee.”

Katherine set them on the rustic coffee table sitting in front of two white couches forming an L towards the fireplace and waved him over.

“Now you be careful with my sofa,” his mom warned, making John laugh softly.

“Do you realize you’ve been saying that to me for as long as I can remember? Even though I’m not a kid anymore and I can manage without spilling something.” He thought back to a time when he and Bo were children. John was sitting in the living room drinking a glass of juice when Bo came up behind him and yelled out, scaring John and causing him to drop the glass on his lap, juice spilling all over him and the cushion he sat on. He remembered the look on his mom’s face when she saw it, her eyebrow twitching non stop. The memory caused him to laugh softly. “Don’t ever change.”

There was a moment of silence between them before Katherine spoke again. “I miss you.”

“I know you do. It’s just easier in Chicago right now.” Although it seemed to his mother that he was referring to work, John actually had many meanings for that statement. It was easier to do the work in Chicago rather than long distance from here in Salem. It was easier to be away from Rebecca than having to face her everyday, knowing that he was lying. It was easier for him to stay away from Marlena. Yes, it was easier in Chicago.

“Well you hurry up and come back home because your dad and I miss having you around.” She gently tapped him on the shoulder. “You know how dumb we are when it comes to technology, how would we have gotten our entertainment system hooked up if you weren’t here?”

After taking a sip of the hot coffee John leaned over and put it back on the table. “Bo could have done it, you know that.”

“With the wedding coming up I really didn’t want to bother him right now.” Katherine smiled. “He’s got a lot on his plate.”

“He thinks of you and dad as family, he’d do anything for you.”

“I know.” She smiled brightly, feeling the same way about Bo. She had known him ever since he was a little boy. “Speaking of Bo, he told us you left yesterday to be with Marlena.”

“I didn’t leave to go BE with her,” he stressed, “I just went looking for her. We needed to talk.”

“About?”

“I love you mother, and I don’t mean any disrespect when I say this,” John began, standing up, “but this isn’t really anything that you need to concern yourself about.”

Katherine followed suit, coming to stand by John and looking him straight in the eyes. “Excuse me if I think otherwise. John, sweetheart, I am you mother and I will always worry about you.” She put her hands on his upper arms, wanting him to hear her. “And when you disappear and run off after a woman you once loved while you are in love with another woman, that worries me.”

“No need to worry,” he said dismissively.

She held up her hands in exasperation. “What could possibly be so important that you’d run after a woman whom you left?”

“It was just some unfinished business that we had to discuss.” John picked up the remote and turned the TV on, testing it, knowing full well that he had not set up the cable box yet.

“Unfinished business?” She stared at him blankly. “From almost 2 years ago?”

He sighed loudly, knowing his mom wouldn’t let this go. He looked away from the television and to her. “I learned something recently and I needed to talk to Marlena.”

“What, did you learn that she was pregnant and she didn’t tell you? Or that she had an abortion?”

“Wha-“ John was taken aback by that statement. “What are you talking about? No! I didn’t get her pregnant.”

“Then what was it?” Katherine crossed her arms.

“It’s something personal regarding Marlena so I don’t think she would like me discussing it. All I will tell you is that she was going through some things when I broke things off with her and I didn’t know until recently.”

“I see.”

Knowing his mother well, John knew that the serious look on her face with the purses lips meant that she wanted to know more. “I just wanted to see if she was alright and to apologize for hurting her.”

“John, you know I really liked Marlena, but she’s not yours anymore. You decided that. Rebecca is your love now and she seems like a great girl. Don’t mess this up.”

“Could we talk about something else instead?” He went back to the fireplace, pulling the TV out from against the wall, signalling this conversation was done.

“Alright,” she agreed. “We could talk about lunch. What would you like me to make you?”

“I’m not really hungry. Could you pass me that wire on the table?” John pointed to the wires on the coffee table.

“Honey, you have to eat. This one?” She held up a long black wire and handed it to John when he nodded.

“Just make something for yourself and dad and if I get hungry I may take a little.” Before his mom left the room John stopped her. “Mom, could you please not mention any of this to Rebecca, or anyone else for that matter? I don’t need this getting back to her and causing unnecessary problems.”

Katherine looked back at her son, an uncertain and worried look crossing her face. Saying nothing she walked away and headed for the kitchen.

Several minutes later, while John was in the process of hooking up the sound bar underneath the television, he heard some footsteps coming towards the living room.

“Hi,” Rebecca said, causing John to stop and look around. He found her standing by the double doors leading into the living room.

“Hey!” Leaving his work, he walked over to her.

“Your dad let me in,” she explained. “I called and texted you multiple times but you never answered.” She leaned into John when he pulled her in for a soft kiss. “I decided to try my luck at you being here.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear my phone.” John pat his pockets a few times, looking for his phone. “I must have left it in my car. I’ll go get it.”

Rebecca put a hand to his chest to stop him. “No no, you seem busy. I’ll go.”

“John who are you…” Katherine began while coming in from the adjoining hallway at the back of the room. “Oh, hello dear,” she smiled when she noticed Rebecca standing beside her son. “It’s so good to see you. How are you?”

Hugging John’s side, she snuggled her head on his shoulder. “I’m wonderful now that I’m with my man.” She beamed at the older woman who gave a nod and a smile in return.

“I just wish he was staying longer than he was,” his mother said, eyeing John with accusatory eyes.

“Believe me Mrs. Black, so do I.”

Jokingly John said, “how about we don’t start with that.”

Rebecca rolled her eyes jokingly in reply, turning her attention to the older woman. “The house is really lovely, Mrs. Black.”

“Thank you, Phillip and I love it.” Katherine observed the young lawyer, her arms wrapped tightly around John’s waist, her head laying against his chest, eyes twinkling. I really hope you don’t mess up John. She really loves you.

“I can’t stay too long, I have some trial prep to do, but I’d be happy to help you unpack some of these boxes,” she said, looking around.

Katherine nodded eagerly, happy to have extra hands. “That would be very appreciated. I’m working on the kitchen right now.”

“Sounds good to me. But before I start, if you’ll excuse me I’ll be right back. Babe, I’m just going to get your phone,” she said this last part to John, untangling herself from around him.

“My coat is in the foyer. Keys should be in there.”

Exiting the living room, Rebecca walked down the hallway leading into the open foyer. In the middle there was an antique wooden table with a box sitting in the middle, John’s coat splayed over it. Reaching into the left hand side’s pocket, she didn’t find keys but she did pull out a piece of paper. Unfolding it, Rebecca realized it was a receipt for a flower shop from the day before.

“That’s strange,” she whispered under her breath, knowing very well that she did not receive any flowers the day before. Slipping it into the back pocket of her jeans Rebecca proceeded to the right pocket of his coat, finding the keys now.

She walked out to his car, spotting the iPhone in the cup holder. She reached for it and quickly made her way back towards the house.

When John’s phone vibrated in her hand Rebecca looked down, noticing a text from  Steve. Stopping, she unlocked the phone and pressed on the message app and opened the text. Sorry I missed u last night, dude. Drinks on me when u get back.

She smiled and got out of the conversation with Steve. She was about to lock the phone when her eyes caught on a name she didn’t recognize.

“Who’s Evan?” She wondered out loud. She opened the conversation and read the two texts sent, both from John. Could we talk? and I’m sorry. The last message was sent a half hour after the first one.

Against her better judgment Rebecca pressed on the phone icon and waited as the call rang.

“John?” A woman answered.

Rebecca stood still, not saying a word. She was not expecting to hear a woman’s voice on the other end.

“I thought we decided not to keep doing this,” the woman continued.

Quickly Rebecca hung up, puzzled as to who this Evan woman was and why John would be talking to her.

When she returned inside, she pressed John’s phone into his chest. “Steve texted you, by the way.” With that, she left, wandering in the hallway until she found the kitchen where she spent an hour helping Katherine unpack dishes, silverware, pots and pans.

When it was time for Rebecca to go, she said goodbye to Mrs. Black in the kitchen and walked back to the living room where John was. She found him slouching in one of the couches, his back facing her. He had his phone in one hand, tapping away, and a mug in the other. He sat up straight and put the phone and coffee down when he heard her enter the room.

“All done?” he asked, turning around to see her walking towards him.

“Yeah. I should really get going.” She was standing by him now, beside the coffee table.

Pulling her to stand between his legs, John took her hands in his while he spoke. “What was that earlier with the phone?”

Looking him square in the eyes Rebecca said, “is there something you want to tell me John?”

John hesitated, trying to gauge how much she knew. “No, I don’t think so,” he said, playing it dumb.

Pulling her hands away, Rebecca crossed her arms. “Who’s Evan?”

John went numb for a moment, thinking she might know about Marlena. She went through my texts! Shit, what did I say? “What do you mean sweetie?”

“Don’t play coy with me John Black. I saw the texts you sent to her. What did you want to talk about? What are you sorry for? Who is she?”

Releasing the breath he didn’t know he had been holding, he reached for her hips but Rebecca backed away. He let his hands fall between his legs and sighed heavily. “It’s all work related,” he lied.

“Sure.” Rebecca didn’t believe him.

“She’s the interior designer for Chicago’s Basic Black. I wanted to talk with her about something I said before leaving to come back home. That’s also the reason I was apologizing. We didn’t agree on some things and I may have said some things that I shouldn’t have.”

“Are you telling me the truth?” She had her arms crossed and a pouty look.

John stood up and reached for her, cupping her face in his hands. “Baby, why would I lie to you? You don’t have to worry, I’m with you.”

He could feel her resistance fading away.

“You’re not getting out of this so fast. I’m not done with you,” she said very seriously, pulling out of his reach.

As his hands fell away, he raised an eyebrow and said “huh?”

She reached into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out the slip of paper she had put there earlier. Holding the receipt up Rebecca asked, “who did you buy flowers for?”

“For you,” John said, like as if there was anyone else he’d buy flowers for. “I think that’s an old receipt.”

“It’s dated for yesterday,” she said matter-of-factly.

“I didn’t think I kept the receipt,” he shrugged, walking out of the room and into the hall. “I bought my mom flowers as a sorry for being away for so long.”

“I don’t get any flowers for that same reason?” Pissed, Rebecca stomped her feet as she followed him into the foyer.

“The woman did give birth to me,” he said sarcastically, turning around and earning an angry look from Rebecca. “Do you want flowers? I’ll buy you flowers.”

“No, thank you. John, I don’t need flowers. All I need is you and I feel like I have less and less of you each day you’re away.” She wanted to slap him for not understanding this.

“It won’t be for much longer, I promise you that.” Again her reaches for her face, kissing her forehead. “You have to go…Good luck in court this week. I’ll be back in two weeks. For good.”

“You really mean that?” she looked up, surprise and amazement written all over her face.

John nodded and smiled. “I do. I’m wrapping everything up that way I don’t have to go back to Chicago until the big opening.”

Elated, Rebecca jumped into his arms and hugged him. “I can’t wait. Maybe on your first night home you can sleep over at my new place. I have yet to christen it.” She arched an eyebrow suggestively.

“I’m looking forward to it. Now go.” He slapped her butt and shooed her towards the door.

“I love you,” she said, lovingly.

John smiled back at her. “Love you too.”

As she was walking the path to her car Rebecca thought of how nice it would be to finally get back to normal. She couldn’t wait for them to reconnect and get back to the wonderful and blissful place they were a few months before.

***

“Thank you for coming,” Marlena said warmly when she welcomed James in.

She had been thinking about him a lot today, starting from the moment she stopped at the pharmacy to pick up the Plan B pill. She was thinking that she wouldn’t be there with the small package in her hands if she had been smarter, if she had been a better person…if she had only been sleeping in one man’s bed. He didn’t deserve this. He deserved better.

When James wrapped his arms around her delicate frame, Marlena succumbed to the warm feeling and let out a sigh.

“How have you been?” he asked, speaking into her hair.

She pulled out of his embrace, looking into his light brown eyes. “I’ve been good, and you?”

James extended a hand and caught one of Marlena’s small hands in his strong one. “Truth be told, I’ve been missing this beautiful blonde bombshell who causes me to become tachycardic whenever I’m around her.” He held up his free hand and checked his carotid pulse. “Kind of like right now,” he noted.

Marlena laughed and slapped his arm away from his neck. “You’re a goof.”

“Whatever I have to do to see that gorgeous smile of yours.” His hand went up, brushing his thumb against her cheek.

Marlena blushed, looking away from him. Her eyes landed on the flowers John got her, on the piano. Then immediately she looked to the desk beside her where James’ flowers were. “I wanted to thank you for the beautiful flowers.”

“Whatever I have to do to make you happy, I’ll do.”

Marlena closed her eyes then, afraid that she would show the pain in her eyes. “I also wanted to apologize.” She walked away then, not wanting to face him. She walked across the room to the balcony doors where she played with the curtains.

“For what?” James was just taking off his jacket and setting it on the back of the desk’s chair. He then slowly made his way to Marlena.

“I’m sorry for being hot and cold all the time; for stringing you along. It’s just that I think I have so much going on and so much on my mind that I can’t focus on how wonderful you are,” she took a breath and turned around, eyes searching his, “and how lucky I would be to have you,” she finished.

Marlena could tell that James was knocked down a little. Quickly she reached for a hand and squeezed it reassuringly before letting it go again.

“I do care about you,” she insisted. Then in a small voice she continued on, “Just not as much as I know I should. I know I’ll get there it’s just taking me longer than it should and I’m sorry.”

James put two fingers under he chin, bringing her face up to look at him. He was smiling and Marlena didn’t understand why. “Don’t apologize,” he said. “I’m glad you told me. I’m not going anywhere. If you need time, I’ll give you time. I won’t push you.”

Marlena shook her head sadly. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking. I’m telling you, I want to be with you.”

Marlena hugged herself as she walked around him towards the sofa. How is he such a great man? She honestly didn’t deserve him after everything that she’s been doing with John.

He followed her, observing her demeanor. “Is there something else that’s bothering you?”

“N-no,” she stuttered, sitting down with her legs underneath her.

“Are you sure? I can see there’s something right there at the surface that you’re not saying.”

Marlena was quiet.

He sat down beside her, rubbing him hands over his knees. “I’m always going to be here to listen and comfort you if you want to talk.” Marlena nodded, but again she didn’t say anything. “Alright,” he sighed, “I won’t pressure you into telling me what’s wrong. When you’re ready you can tell me.”

As simple as that, with those words, James had earned some points with her. She leaned over and hugged him. “Thank you.”

They stayed in that embrace for a long moment, James playing with her hair and running his fingers up and down her back while Marlena had her eyes closed and let herself relax at the sensation. She wondered if he knew that she loved that, or if it was just a coincidence. After a couple minutes elapsed, Marlena pulled back and sat straight, stretching her legs out.

“Would you like to stay and watch a movie with me?” Her voice was so small it reminded James of a vulnerable child.

“I’d love to. We could even watch one of your soaps if you’d like,” he laughed. “I’d do anything for you.”

“I won’t make you go through that,” she laughed. “Besides, right now I feel like I’m living in a soap opera, so I really don’t need to watch one tonight.”

Soon they settled on Mrs. Doubtfire, a favourite of Marlena’s. They say side by side, covered with a blanket, and a bowl of popcorn between them.

When Mrs. Doubtfire’s chest caught on fire and she yelled out, using the lids from the pots to extinguish the flames Marlena burst out laughing and James couldn’t help but to stare. He was amazed by her; by everything there was about her.

Only when the laughter died down did Marlena notice him looking intently at her. She batted her eyes shyly and asked “what?”

“I know you’re uncertain of your feelings, but does this mean I can’t kiss you anymore?”

Smiling, she shook her head. “I think that would help.” She leaned closer until her lips gently met his, starting soft and slow at first until James pushed his tongue passed her lips, caressing her head in his hands.

The reception was in full-blown effect at Tuscany, thanks to Hope’s aunt Maggie’s hosting and decorating skills. The guests had just welcomed the wedding party and the bride and groom as the DJ announced their presence in orderly fashion; Roman and Marlena, Steve and Kayla, John and Lexie, and ending with Mr. and Mrs. Bo Brady.

Not long into the reception, Marlena felt a tap on her shoulder while she was talking with one of the waiters. Turning around, her face lit up in surprise when she noticed John’s mother standing there.

“Oh honey it’s so good to see you,” Katherine said warmly as she hugged Marlena tightly.

Marlena hummed in agreement, pulling back. “It most certainly is. Gosh, it’s been a long time.”

Katherine nodded, not having noticed how much she missed having Marlena around until seeing her again after a year. “How are things with you? I want to hear about residency, what you’ve been up to, all of it.”

Marlena hugged her arms around herself and smiled warmly at the beautiful middle-aged woman. “Things couldn’t be better. I’ve never been busier but I like it this way. I left the hospital and I’m now working under a doctor who opened up her own practice and she’s great.” Marlena proceeded to go further into detail about her life as a psychiatry resident.

“I’m so happy for you,” said Katherine. “I always knew you would make it.” Her eyes looked behind Marlena at John and Rebecca, walking hand in hand towards them.

“Hey mom.” John’s voice came from behind Marlena and the hairs at the back of her neck stood up.

Katherine smiled at her son and Rebecca, who were now standing at her side. “There’s my handsome son.”

Marlena reached out and squeezed Katherine’s hand. “I have to get going, but it was really nice talking with you again. Please tell Mr. Black I say hello,” she said sincerely. “John. Rebecca.” She gave them a slight smile and a nod of the head and excused herself, making her way to Laura standing by the bar.

When she reached Laura her friend was holding out a glass of champagne in her hand. “I thought you may want one.”

“You’re a mind reader,” Marlena said before she swallowed a long drink.

Just then the light’s flickered and there was the sound of someone tapping the head of a microphone. “Ladies and gentleman, it is time for the newlyweds first dance. Will you please join me in welcoming Mr. and Mrs. Beauregard Brady!” The guests cheered, clapped and some clinked their champagne glasses as Bo and Hope made their way to the centre of the dance floor, coming in for a sensual kiss before they started to dance.

The lights went dim and the room was filled with the soft strokes of the piano as Tonight I Celebrate My Love For You played. The guests observed in awe as the newly married couple swayed softly across the dance floor, foreheads resting against the other while they lovingly caressed each other and whispered sweet nothings.

Many were spotted crying softly as the lovers shared their first dance as husband and wife. Caroline was using a tissu to dab the corners of her eyes while Shawn held her from behind, gently swaying them from side to side. On the other side of the room Julie was also shedding tears of happiness for her sister.

“I can’t wait to dance at your wedding,” Marlena whispered to Laura, who had her arm linked with hers as they looked happily on at Bo and Hope.

Laura giggled slightly in response. “First I need a man for that.” She looked across the room and smiled at the man who caught her eye. “Although,” she added, “I did meet someone when I was waiting for you to arrive to the reception…and let me tell you, he’s a great kisser.”

Marlena’s eyes grew wide as she tried to hide her laughter. She squeezed Laura’s arm between her own arm and her waist. “Who is it?”

Laura simply nudged her head forward to the tables, in the direction of the tall and handsome man who had caused butterflies to swirl in her stomach. He winked at her from across the room before returning his attention to the dancing couple.

“No, Laura!” She gasped, noticing that Bill Horton was who her friend was referring to. “That’s Hope’s uncle. He’s nearly 10 years older than you.”

“It doesn’t matter to me,” Laura beamed. “Marlena, he’s so wonderful I can’t even tell you.”

“You barely even know him. Your tongue probably knows more about him than the rest of you does,” Marlena joked.

“That may be true,” she grinned, “but I intend to get to know him a lot better.”

They continued to drink their champagnes and look on at the happy couple, smiling.

“And now we ask that the wedding party join in,” the DJ announced over the speakers when the song ended. “Groomsmen and bridesmaids would you please take the floor.” Applause was heard again by the crowd of family and friends.

John leaned down and placed a kiss on Rebecca’s cheek. “That’s my cue.”

“Hurry back,” she winked at him. He let his hand fall from her hip as he took a few steps forward.

Bo and Hope continued to hold each other closely, stealing soft kisses as the soft tones of a new song started, Steve and Kayla wasting no time in joining in on the dancing and the kissing. Roman then escorted Lexie, who was standing beside him, to the dance floor, whispering something in Abe’s ear before stealing her away, earning him a laugh.

John looked around, knowing full well that it was only he and Marlena left. When he caught her eye he saw her shrug and begin to walk from the bar to the dance floor. He walked the short distance to her and offered his hand. “Marlena.”

She smiled sweetly at him and took his outstretched hand, following him to the dance floor. They fell in sink, like no time at all had passed since their last dance.

To the side, Phillip and Katherine stood with Shawn and Caroline, drinking champagne, the women catching up.

“We did good,” Caroline proudly stated. “Both our boys have grown up to be wonderful and successful young men, and now my Bo is married.”

“He and Hope really are perfect for one another,” Katherine said.

Caroline smiled widely, agreeing. Suddenly, her attention wavered and her eyes darted behind Katherine’s head. “Kind of like two other people I know.”

“Excuse me?” Katherine asked, unsure what Caroline meant by that statement but Caroline was no longer paying attention. Slowly, Katherine began to notice that everyone was staring at the dance floor. “What’s going on?” she asked as she turned around, thinking that the guests were captivated by the newlyweds. She was surprised at what she saw instead.

John and Marlena swaying to the sound of the soft music. John had one hand on her lower back, holding her body against his, their faces inches apart. His other hand held Marlena’s over his heart. They fit perfectly together; it was like they were made for each other and everyone could see it.

From the looks of it Katherine thought they were having an intense conversation, although she could tell they were trying to hide it. Marlena smiled, but her jaw was set while John eyed her intently and whispered words to her.

Just as Katherine had asked moments earlier, Caroline wondered herself what was going on.

She shrugged. “I’m not too sure what to make of this,” she said, still eyeing her son and his ex intensely.

“It’s too bad John and Marlena couldn’t make it work,” Caroline said shortly after. “I thought they were it.”

Unbeknownst to them, after having had enough of the John and Marlena show, Rebecca was making her way to the bathroom when she walked behind them and overheard what was being said. She stopped dead in her tracks, feeling defeated.

“So did I,” Phillip added, wrapping his arm around his wife’s back while she nodded in agreement.

“Now Caroline, stop talking that way,” Shawn’s thick Irish accent cut through. “There’s no point in rehashing the past.”

Caroline gazed at her husband quickly. “But is it in the past?” Her eyes returned to the ex-lovers, certain that she was right. “I can still see it.”

Clamping a hand over her mouth, Rebecca swallowed a sob and ran off in direction of the ladies room.

The two older couples continued to observe on the sidelines as the tone of their dance changed. John had loosened his grip on Marlena and was no longer pressing her into him, his hand on her back moving in slow strokes. When he spoke again it was like Marlena melted in his arms, her face glowing.

When the song ended John and Marlena stood still, eyes locked on one another for a moment too long before Marlena pulled herself from his arms and ran away, leaving John looking flustered.

**

As John took her in his arms and started to sway to the soft music, they fell into their old pattern and Marlena instantly felt warm, content and at home. She savored the moment; their bodies moving effortlessly as if they were floating on clouds, the heat of his body radiating onto her, his smell, his touch. Reality finally sunk in when she looked into his eyes, her body tensing in response.

“Relax,” John said under his breath, looking at the others dancing around them. “It’s just a dance.”

She closed her eyes momentarily and took a breath, relaxing her muscles. “Welcome back,” she said awkwardly. “Hope told me you came home a couple days ago.”

John simply nodded, looking at her awe. “You look beautiful tonight,” he finally said, a serious expression on his face.

Marlena looked down, blushing. “Thanks, Hope certainly picked out wonderful dresses for us to wear.” Identical to the other two bridesmaids, she was dressed in a light pink, sleeveless, one shoulder A-line chiffon dress with a beaded brooch on the left inner waist.

“I wasn’t talking about the dress,” he replied seriously with eyes matching his tone. “I’m actually picturing you without the dress. I miss this body of yours.” He pulled her body against his and grinned when Marlena’s breath caught in her throat.

“Stop this,” she warned when she finally managed to compose herself. For the sake of appearances she smiled through her tense jaw as she spoke. “People can see how you feel.”

“No they can’t.” John looked around the room then, looking aloof. They danced in silence for a moment before John whispered in her ear. “Having you this close to me, the truth is, it makes me want to sleep with you again.”

It was then that Marlena tensed up in his arms again, trying to pull her hand away from his but he tightened his grip.

“I won’t try anything,” he said softly and looked at her intensely. No matter how much he wanted her at this moment he would do everything he could to resist, knowing that’s what she wanted.

She smiled weakly and relaxed slightly, hoping the song would end soon. When John released his hold on her she was able to pull back from his body and relax more. She continued to follow his lead while looking at Bo and Hope dance lovingly.

“How’s the good doctor?” asked John suddenly, trying to fill the dead air.

“James is great,” she said, glancing up at him quickly, surprised.

His eyes focused on her again. “Is he treating you right?” he asked. “Does he buy you lilies? Does he listen to everything you say and make you feel special? Does he give you time and space to work things out on your own when you’re upset?” He didn’t mean for all those questions to come out but once one came, so did all the others.

“I…yes…He,” taken aback, Marlena was unable to form a proper sentence. She searched his face, trying to understand, when suddenly it dawned on her. Her muscles relaxed completely and her heart started to flutter. “It was you…” she trailed off in wonderment. She shook her head in disbelief as she held in a smile. “I’ve been wondering how he knows so much about me…”

John shrugged as if it was nothing. “I just wanted to make sure you were happy.”

“That isn’t your job anymore,” she replied quietly as the song came to an end. She looked up at him, wanting to say something but not knowing what, so instead they just stood there looking into each other’s eyes for a long moment before Marlena tore her eyes away and ran off in the direction of the door.

John was left standing on the middle of the dance floor, looking confused and disappointed. He quickly struck a serious expression and his eyes scanned the room.

Kim noticed him looking around and acting a little off. Coming to him, she wrapped a hand on his upper arm, stopping him from wandering. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he dismissed it, eyes going back to skimming the room.

“You don’t look okay to me,” insisted Kim, pulling on his arm to get him to look at her.

“I’m looking for Rebecca, have you seen her?” When his eyes landed on hers they were wary.

“I’m sorry John, I haven’t.” She paused briefly before saying what needed to be said. “I wouldn’t blame her for hiding out though.”

“What do you mean?” He snapped his attention back to her.

She smiled a comforting smile at him. “Come on, everyone saw you and Marlena dancing, including Rebecca.”

He wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion. “The dance?”

Kim nodded. Boys; always oblivious to everything.

With very little patience, John started. “It was the wedding party’s dance and everyone else in said party was taken. I had no other option but Marlena.”

“Mhhmmm.” Right, sure, she thought. “You still love Marlena don’t you?”

“You know Kimmy, I love you like a sister but I just don’t feel like discussing Marlena.” He gave her an apologetic look before he took a few steps back. “I’ll catch up with you later.”

He walked around the room some more, stopping at Abe and Lexie’s table at the back. “Has anyone seen Rebecca?”

Abe shook his head and was about to speak when a soft voice was heard.

“I’m here,” Rebecca said in a low voice.

When John turned his head to the side he saw her, cheeks flushed, makeup smeared, although it looked like she tried to fix it up, her shoulders slouching unlike her usual straight posture.

“Hey honey.” It was said in a nervous voice, but all John wanted to do was fast forward past this argument that they were obviously going to have that he didn’t have the energy for. Looking her over, he was honestly surprised that she took a dance that bad that he wondered what it would be like if she ever knew the whole truth…No, that could never happen.

“I’m surprised you left Marlena long enough to come looking for me,” she said snidely.

John sighed heavily, spotting Abe and Lexie looking very uncomfortable at their table. He mouthed ‘sorry’ their way. “Let’s have this discussion somewhere else,” he said to Rebecca, grabbing her hand to lead her away.

She pulled her hand out of his grip and followed behind, angry and hurt. They walked towards the bathrooms, standing in the corner of that hallway, away from others.

“I know you’re upset,” John began slowly, unsure where this was going. “I just want to say that I’m sorry. It’s not what you think.”

“It’s not? Excuse me if I don’t believe that.” Tapping her foot, she crossed her arms and averted her eyes.

“It was innocent.” He held out his palms, shaking his hands out in front of him. “There’s absolutely nothing there.”

“Really?” she scoffed. “Because it looked to me as if my boyfriend was up there dancing with his ex-girlfriend while I stood on the sideline and watched you two acting like you were still a couple!” She had to fight to keep her voice from cracking, as her throat was becoming tighter with the emotions she was trying to ward off.

Out of frustration, John slapped the back of his hand in the palm of the other. “You’re seeing something that isn’t there! All the other bridesmaids were already dancing, it’s not like I picked her out of a line. She was the only one left,” he stressed. “I wasn’t going to be rude so we made small talk, about Bo and Hope, about the wedding..”

“I saw something else,” she countered.

“Of course you saw something else,” he said sarcastically, throwing his head back to look at the ceiling and releasing a stressed out laugh.

Rebecca tried to keep her composure in check to say what was coming next. It broke her heart to realize it but it would hurt even more to say it out loud. “You have this look between you,” she started, her eyes piercing through his. “When you glance at her, everybody in the room may as well be on a different planet.” She thought back to the conversation she overheard with his parents and Shawn and Caroline. “I’m not the only one who noticed.”

John loosened the tie around his neck, the look on her face suddenly too much for him. “What are you talking about?”

“It was obvious to everyone in the room.” She shrugged sadly, looking away from him down towards her fidgeting hands.

John put his hands on his hips, beginning to pace in their small corner. “I don’t even know what to say to you right now to make you understand that what you saw was completely innocent.”

Defiantly she said, “well I guess you better try.”

John rolled his eyes, beyond frustrated. He cupped a fist into his other hand before starting. “Marlena and I are just two people who share a past, who share some friends in common, who were being friendly and sharing a dance for the sake of their best friends’ special night.”

She nodded softly, still not convinced. “Go on.”

“If I didn’t have to I wouldn’t have danced with her and we could have avoided all of this.” He became quiet and smiled when one of Hope’s uncles from out of town exited the men’s room, walking by them to return to the reception. “But Roman was with Lexie,” he started again, “and Steve had Kayla. The only two other people were Marlena and I. I had no choice.”

Walking by them with their arms linked together were Laura and Marlena, who were on their way to the bathroom. They stopped talking when they noticed the couple in the hallway.

Rebecca and John both looked to the side and for a moment John’s eyes locked on Marlena’s, and that was a little longer than he should have. He knew it without even having to look at Rebecca.

“Un-fucking-believable.” Rebecca’s nostrils were flaring and her eyebrows were furrowed with her hands on her hips.

“What? Someone walked by, I looked to the side, and by the way, so did you,” he said snidely, trying to prove a point. “It just happened to be her.”

“What the fuck is happening all of a sudden? You could barely even be in her presence before and now it’s like that’s all you want!” Rebecca spat and threw her hands in the air in disbelief. “How did that happen?”

John scoffed and shook his head incredulously. “This conversation is ridiculous.”

“You’re right, it is.” Just when John thought she was finally agreeing with him she raised her voice to continue. “It’s ridiculous that my boyfriend seems to show more interest in his ex than in me. It’s ridiculous that you don’t look at me the way that you look at her. It’s ridiculous that as soon as you see her it’s like the whole world disappears, including me.”

“No, What’s ridiculous is you making all these assumptions and drawing conclusions from nothing!” he spoke loudly. “There’s nothing there! Just two people who used to share a past and who happen to still cross paths from time to time.”

Rebecca stood there with an attitude. “Well I don’t like it.”

“Of course you don’t and I understand that,” his voice was calmer this time, pleading almost. “Which is why I’ve tried my damndest to stay clear of her since I met you but Salem is a small town. I can’t avoid her all together, especially when we have the same friends.”

“But..” she began, but John shushed her softly.

Closing the distance between them John took hold of her hands in his, squeezing reassuringly. “I am here with you,” John said with a soft shake of the head. “I am here having this argument with you because fighting with you means there is still something worth fighting for.” He brought her hands up and gently kissed both knuckles.

“But..” she tried again.

John held a finger up to her lips, silencing her. He could see her restraints fading away. He cupped her face and spoke in a voice just above a whisper. “Look baby, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I just want to go back out there, have fun, and be happy for Bo and Hope. Can we do that? I really, truly am sorry.”

“Alright,” agreed Rebecca. He was right; tonight was about Bo and Hope so she would push aside her anger, for them. “But from now on you only dance with me, got it?”

“You better tell that to my mother,” he joked, a grin pulling at his mouth. “I already promised her a dance.”

“I suppose I can share you with her,” she raised a mischievous eyebrow, “but only her.”

John’s answer was to lean down and kiss her tenderly, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Marlena was at the Pub waiting at the bar while Caroline got her take out order ready when she felt someone grab onto her upper arm and pull her away from the counter, causing her to gasp in surprise. When she turned her head she saw Rebecca looking at her angrily as she pulled her towards the empty corner.

Marlena ripped her arm out of her grip and yelled, “What the hell is the matter with you?”

“Oh Marlena! I’m so glad I ran into you,” Rebecca said sarcastically, as if nothing had happened, readjusting the purse on her shoulder.

“I’m going to give you one minute to explain why you put your hand on me and pulled me away like that or I’m going to call my good friends Abe and Roman down at the Salem PD.” She looked around the pub, trying to identify if anyone was paying attention to them. Most people were busy looking at their menus or eating their meals to pay attention, except for the middle aged man who was sitting at the bar and a couple who had turned around in their seats to see what was going on.

Rebecca looked her up and down before she spoke in a quiet and restrained voice. “Didn’t like that huh?” she sneered. “Well maybe from now on you’ll keep your hands to yourself.”

Annoyed, Marlena asked, “Excuse me? I don’t understand.”

“You will.” Rebecca paused briefly and gave Marlena a warning look. “Get this through your head; stay the hell away from John.”

Marlena was taken aback, wondering if the angered woman standing before her somehow knew about her affair with John. “Rebecca, I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” she began slowly. “Considering the circumstances I’ve been civil and mature when I’ve had to be when it comes to you and John. I’m sorry that our paths cross occasionally, but I’m not going to go out of my way to avoid him just to please you.”

After sizing Marlena up, Rebecca said, “I saw you at the reception yesterday. I know you’re trying to go after John but I’m here to tell you that it’s not going to happen. It’s over between you two.”

“Thank you, Rebecca, I actually didn’t know that,” she replied sarcastically, followed by an eye roll.

“I’m being serious,” Rebecca said, taking a step closer to Marlena. “Don’t you dare go near him again.”

Marlena took a step back, not enjoying having the other woman in her face. “I didn’t go after him, as you put it. Not that this is any of your business but I am very happily involved with another man.”

Caroline was now standing at the bar observing the tense exchange between the two younger ladies, feeling uncomfortable. Marlena shot an apologetic glance her way before Rebecca’s annoying voice pulled her back.

“Really? Then where was he last night? Sure seemed to me like you were there alone.”

Marlena crossed her arms and gave an amused look. “You know, you’re very arrogant for someone in your situation,” Marlena baited.

“Exactly what situation am I in?” Rebecca batted her eyelashes conceitedly. “From where I’m standing, I’ve already won. John is mine, not yours.” Rebecca finished with nudging Marlena on the shoulder.

Marlena gasped and looked at the other woman in disbelief. She actually was crazy, she thought. “Keep living in your little fantasy, but I promise you when reality finally sinks in you’re going to be devastated.”

“You’re the one who’s living in a fantasy. You’re deluded Marlena,” she raised her voice at that last sentence. “You think you’re going to smile and bat your eyes at him, or rub up against him while you dance and he’s just going to come back to you?” Rebecca imitated those acts obnoxiously. “Well you’ve got another thing coming. He loves me! He’s committed to me!”

Marlena scoffed in reply, holding back a laugh. “You sure about that?” She raised an eyebrow, daring Rebecca to push her over the edge and have her world come crumbling down on her when the truth slipped out.

“I’m convinced. There are no secrets between us, he tells me everything,” she stressed. “Including the fact that if he didn’t have to there would be no way he would have danced with you last night. He hates even being near you.”

“Hmm, okay,” Marlena said with a grin, nodding her head. “Well then, I guess we are done here.” Marlena turned to leave but turned back around just as quickly. “Oh! Before I forget,” she leaned in close to Rebecca, “you should know that I am not the one who went after him. That was all his doing.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” she barked back.

Marlena grinned as she whispered, “It means he made the first move. He took the first step.”

“That dance is the last time you’ll ever have your arms around him.”

Without responding, Marlena gave Rebecca a smile and a wink before she walked away, leaving the curly haired brunette fuming.

Her food was ready when she returned to the bar. She apologized to Caroline for the scene, thanked her for the food and left quickly.

When Marlena got into her car she pulled out her phone and began typing away. Tell your girlfriend to leave me the hell alone, she texted John.

A couple of minutes later her phone chimed and she read John’s reply. What happened? What did you tell her?

You can ask your savage girlfriend what happened, Marlena was thinking but instead she replied to his text in a more polite manner.

I didn’t tell her anything…

Marlena thought about her exchange with Rebecca again, deciding to send another text. But I may not be so quiet next time.

She was done. Until then she had not been petty, she had stayed away from Rebecca, but if this was how she would act, then Marlena could also play at that game and she would win. Rebecca would lose big time, her whole world shattered.

Even though she had promised John that she would keep his infidelities a secret, if Rebecca pushed her she may not care about letting it slip. But as long as Rebecca left her alone, then Marlena wouldn’t say anything.

What happened? John texted back.

Ask Rebecca. I’m done, she typed.

After sending John the text, she typed another message and sent it to Laura and Lexie. Bar tonight? I need to drink!!

When John got home from the office that evening he found Rebecca sitting on one of the two white sofas in the living room. Because of the open concept of the house, the first thing he saw when he walked in was Rebecca looking at him with a set look, her arms and her legs crossed. He took off his shoes and jacket and placed them in one of the closets on each side of the entrance before walking up the two steps to the living room.

It was a large space with the seating area to the left, facing the entrance, a plant sitting at the corner between the two sofas. A white coffee table sat in the middle with a small plant as a centrepiece. The right side of the room was devoid of furniture, keeping with the open space.

“I heard about what happened today,” he said nonchalantly as he walked across the espresso coloured hardwood floor of the large room. He stopped before he got too close.

“I should have known. Of course she’d come running to you.” Rebecca grabbed one of the navy blue cushions and hurled it at him.

John looked down at the cushion and back to her again, annoyed. “She didn’t. I still don’t know everything. All she asked was for you to stay away from her. So can you please just let this go?”

“You’re actually taking her side right now?” she asked incredulously, standing up finally.

“God dammit Rebecca, I’m not taking any sides!” he yelled. In a less tempered voice he said, “I would just like it if my girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend never saw each other again.” He bent down to pick up the cushion. “I don’t need this unnecessary drama.” He placed the cushion back where it belonged and walked towards the left, where a wide hallway led to the kitchen.

“You think I’m being dramatic?” Rebecca yelled from behind him.

“A little yes. You’re making a mountain out of a mole hill.” John took off his suit jacket and placed it on one of the bar stools at the island. With a white and grey marble countertop, the large island stood in the middle of the room with bar seating on both ends, the outer middle of the island forming a curve to accommodate a banquette seating with a round table, three chairs surrounding it.

“She wants you John. I’m not crazy.”

He laughed, loosening the tie around his neck and unbuttoning the top button of his dress shirt. “She doesn’t want me. She just wants to be left alone and to live her life without having anything to do with us.”

She slammed a hand down on the counter angrily. “How the hell do you know what she wants? Have you been seeing her? Better yet, do you want her?”

“I’m not doing this with you. I’m going to the gym.” He walked off to the stairs, which were opposite the living room, and walked in the direction of his room. He stopped and looked over the balcony and saw Rebecca following him. He continued to barrel towards his bedroom. “What the fuck is all this?” John yelled when he walked in and saw what was on his bed, which was to his right.

“You tell me John!” Rebecca yelled back, grabbing a thong from the bed and throwing it at him. “Are you sleeping with her?”

Ignoring her question, he walked closer to the bed. She must have found the box he had hidden with all of Marlena’s things. A bottle of perfume, a diamond encrusted tennis bracelet, more undies, pictures of him and Marlena, a pair of black leggings, and more were spread out on the bed. “What were you doing snooping around my house?”

Rebecca had her hands on her hips, her brow furrowed and her lips thinned. “Are you sleeping with her?!”

“My god Rebecca, I haven’t slept with her in a long time!” Technically it was not a lie, although it was just a few weeks ago, it felt like a lifetime for him. “I honestly didn’t remember I had these things still.”

John looked around the room, searching for evidence that she may have done something else. It was a large room with the bed in one section of the room and across the bed, the far end of the room was divided by a dividing wall with a three sided fireplace. On the right side of the divide there was six floor to ceiling windows covering the walls, making the corner. Between each window there was light grey curtains hanging.  A dark grey ottoman bench with arms sat before one set of windows, two light grey arm chairs and a glass coffee table across from it. On the left side of the dividing wall was a little space set up by a second and shorter dividing wall. It had a rounded ottoman in the corner and it led to the bathroom.

Noting that nothing else seemed out of place, he went back to the matter at hand. He looked at Marlena’s things again, wondering why he had kept all of this. “Baby, this isn’t what it looks like,” he said.

“I find these things and I don’t know how to feel,” she shrugged sadly. “How can I not feel insecure when I have to follow that?” she yelled and pointed to their pictures. It was true, Marlena was a tough act to follow. She was drop dead gorgeous, she had the perfect body that made any woman jealous, Rebecca was sure of it. Marlena was also smart, apparently a fun person and a great friend. She seemed perfect.

“I broke up with her. I don’t want to be with her,” he stressed. “How many times do I have to tell you? You are my girlfriend, you shouldn’t feel insecure about someone from my past…this stuff, I don’t even know where you found it, but I’ll get rid of it like I should have done a long time ago.”

“You’re just saying that because I found this stuff.” From the opposite side of the bed Rebecca looked down at all the things she had found. God she hated that woman.

“Honey,” John began, “I promise you that this stuff means nothing to me. I’ll throw it all out.”

Rebecca just nodded, barely acknowledging what he said. “I don’t like you seeing her,” she stated simply, crossing her arms.

Angrily, John laughed. He looked down to his shoes quickly to compose himself before looking back at her. “What do you want me to do? Want me to stop talking or seeing my friends just to avoid that rare occasion that Marlena would be there?” John yelled. “Want me to never step foot outside this house again? Want me to go back to Chicago? My god Rebecca, tell me what you want because your unfounded suspicions are getting ridiculous!”

“Go to hell,” she said in an even tone.

“No, go ahead. Tell me!” he bated.

“I don’t want you seeing her ever again!!” she yelled, anger clouding her eyes.

John laughed and shook his head. “Sorry sweetheart, but you’re not going to control who I can and cannot see.”

“You’re a fucking jerk,” she said.

“I’m the jerk for not letting you boss me around? What does that make you then?” he spat back at her.

“Why is it so much to ask that you stay away from her,” she pleaded.

“Because I’m not seeing her!” He was getting tired of this, and fast. “You saw us together last night and now you find this stuff so you make up this crazy scenario in your head. But it couldn’t be farther from the truth because she and I are over.”

Rebecca didn’t say anything, she just pursed her lips and turned her head to the side, observing the lamp on the bedside table.

John scoffed and shook his head. Spotting the box that had held all of Marlena’s things, he picked it up and began to quickly throw everything from the bed back into the box. He gave Rebecca another look before he closed the box and threw it into the corner of his walk in closet behind him, making a mental note to get rid of it later.

From the other corner, he grasped the straps of his gym bag and stormed out of the room, running down the stairs with Rebecca hot on his heels. “Go home and sleep this mood of yours off. I’m done arguing with you about this.” He waited until Rebecca stepped outside before slamming the front door shut and taking off in his SUV.

That night, Marlena, Laura and Lexie found themselves at Fusion, a popular new club in town. The place was surprisingly packed for a Sunday night, bodies bumping into one another often as they made their way around the room. From the bar Marlena could see her friends swaying rhythmically to the music and she smiled when she made eye contact.

From her left side she heard a deep and husky voice say, “How you doin’?”

Marlena looked at the man and started to laugh. “Does that really work?”

“Sometimes.” The good looking man raised his eyebrows suggestively and grinned, showing off perfect teeth. He wore a tight black t-shirt that hugged his muscles beautifully.

“It worked for Joey on Friends but it’s not working here, sorry.” Marlena finished her martini before getting up and walking back to Lexie and Laura who were still dancing.

“When are you going to tell us why we are here?” Laura yelled over the music and gripped Marlena’s arm to get her attention.

Marlena grabbed hold of both of Laura’s hands and started dancing again, throwing her head back. “For some fun!” she laughed. Looking back at Laura, disorientated from the quick shift of her head, Marlena said, “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had any fun?”

That answer seemed to satisfy her friends because they started laughing and dancing, swaying to the beat of the music blasting through the club while all holding hands.

Marlena shouted in pleasure, eyes scanning the crowed. From across the room her eyes landed on John and she felt flush. Quickly recovering, she looked around the room once again, strobe lights and numerous people making it a little more challenging, but when she spotted what she was looking for she grinned and left the dance floor.

“Mar! Where are you going?” Lexie called out, confused.

“Hey, Joey Tribbiani,” Marlena spoke loudly over the music. “Wanna dance after all?”

The man with emerald eyes smiled widely at her. “I’m glad you changed your mind. I’m Sawyer.”

“I’m Samantha,” Marlena said, taking his hand and following him to the center of the dance floor.

**

“Another scotch” John told the bartender, handing him his empty glass. After an intense gym session John was feeling wired and was not ready to go back home and somehow he ended up at the bar alone.

“No problem,” the bartender said. “So, which lucky lady do you have your eye on tonight?” he asked.

John turned around on his stool and motioned behind him to the dance floor.

“The blonde in the tight red shirt and black skirt,” he informed the man. She was wearing a high low asymmetrical mini skirt with a red bustier top, her loose curls splayed across her shoulder blades.

The bartender whistled as he spotted the broad in question.

She was petite, but not weak. She was strong, confident in the way she moved to the beat of the song seemingly without a care in the world. She looked like a woman that could handle herself—not to mention one that would be great in the sack. He could see why the well-dressed man in front of him would have picked her out of a crowd.

“Great legs, nice ass. What more could you ask for?” the bartender asked.

“A fiery personality and a hell of a talented tongue. Both of which I know she has,” John said.

“So you know her. Who is she?” he asked.

“My ex,” he said plainly. He had seen her dart towards a man when he arrived, following behind him as he pulled her through the crowd.

“Really?” the bartender commented. “How’d you let her get away?”

“Long story,” said John, his eyes fixed on her as she danced with an unknown man. He turned around again and took a drink of the harsh cold liquor.

“Not over her? If I were you I’d be trying to get her back. She’s a babe.” The man eyed her from across the room, biting his lip in appreciation.

“That she is,” said John.

“She appears to be taken tonight,” said the bartender, flicking his thumb towards the tall man with his hands creeping towards Marlena’s butt.

John glanced over his shoulder. He spotted Marlena dancing with the man but when he came too close and his hands gripped her ass she pulled his hand away. That didn’t stop them from dancing though.

“She doesn’t seem to be aware that you’re here,” the bartender commented.

John laughed at this. “Apparently you don’t know much about women—because she knows exactly what she’s doing. A place as big as this and she just happens to be dancing directly in front of me—with some random douche bag, no less? She’s calculating; she knows just how to push my buttons,” John concluded, continuing to observe as Marlena tried to pry the man’s wandering hands from her body.

“And is it working?” the bartender asked.

“What do you think?” John asked rhetorically, finishing off his drink and throwing money on the bar. “Now if you’ll excuse me, this charade has gone on for long enough.”

He stalked towards her methodically, weaving in and out of drunken strangers until he found himself directly in front of her. When he reached her, he grabbed her around her waist unceremoniously and pulled her back, effectively separating her from the guy she had been dancing with.

“What the hell?” Sawyer said, stepping closer to John.

“Hey!” John put a hand on Sawyer’s shoulder, forcefully shoving him. “The lady said no.”

From behind, Marlena grabbed onto John’s biceps. “John don’t.”

The men continued their stare down until John regretfully backed off. He put a hand on Marlena’s waist, the other grabbing her arm and he dragged her away.

Once they were in a corner Marlena ripped her arm from John’s grip. “Don’t do that,” she warned, her eyes set on him.

John held his hands out in defense. “I was just saving you from that creep.”

“Thank you, John, but I don’t need your help.”

“Whatever you say.” He walked off then, leaving her alone.

Marlena took a moment to straighten up before she went back to Laura and Lexie who were now sitting at one of the high tables in the lounge. “We saw you with that guy,” Lexie squealed, leaning her elbows on the table to hear more. “He’s hot!”

“She’s got James, let’s not forget,” Laura reminded, eyeing Marlena curiously.

Marlena smiled and shrugged. “It was just a dance.”

“It seemed to me like he would like more than just a dance,” said Laura as she spied the man in question now dancing with another woman.

Lexie agreed with her. “Totally. He could not keep his hands off of you.”

“I know,” replied Marlena with an eye roll. “Men,” she scoffed. “You tell them no and they keep going, even when you move their hands away.”

“How’d you manage to get out of his grasp?” Laura asked.

“Oh,” Marlena said, realizing they hadn’t seen everything. “I just needed a little force, that’s all,” she told them.

“Looks like John’s here,” Lexie remarked, observing him talking to another guy right off the dance floor.

Marlena and Laura both followed the direction in which Lexie was looking and found John laughing and having an animated conversation with another man.

“What a coincidence,” stated Laura, raising an eyebrow at Marlena.

I didn’t know, Marlena mouthed in her direction. “Yeah, I was surprised when I bumped into him a few minutes ago,” she said aloud.

Laura eyed John up from her position. “He looks pretty dressed up for a club,” she noted.

Lexie giggled before adding, “He looks hot!”

“What are we talking about John for?” Marlena asked rather annoyed. “Let’s just dance and have fun.” She closed her eyes and started swaying to the upbeat song in her seat.

“With all the dancing at Bo and Hope’s wedding yesterday and now this, my legs are getting a little sore,” Lexie complained, taking a moment to enjoy the relief.

Both women agreed. “It really was a beautiful wedding wasn’t it,” Laura said, remembering the ceremony, the vows, and the reception.

Marlena smiled. “I can’t wait to see the pictures.”

“And the ones from the honeymoon!” Lexie gushed, fanning herself with her hands for cooler air. “Who would have thought of spending their honeymoon sailing? It’s perfect!”

“They’re a perfect couple,” Marlena stated matter-of-factly. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be back soon. I need another drink,” she said as she got up from the high stool.

Laura’s eyes scanned the bar, knowing what was going on. “Alright, well we’ll be on the dance floor whenever you’re ready to come find us,” said Laura, who took Lexie by the hand and led her towards the crowd of dancing bodies.

Marlena walked from the lounge to the bar, squeezing by drunk and unsteady girls in high heels trying to hold each other up.

She stood behind him, tapping her finger on his shoulder. “I wanted to apologize,” she said once he turned towards her. “You were just trying to help and I was rude. I’m sorry for that.”

John turned back around, swirling the liquid around in his glass. He was silent for moment before turning his head slightly to the side. “Can I buy you a drink?”

Marlena thought for a second. “Just one.” She slid onto the stool beside him.

When John motioned to the bartender to come over, the man he was talking to earlier could not help but comment. “Damn woman, you’re a babe!” He looked her up and down, which was only from the waist up because she was sitting.

Marlena laughed. “Well thank you,” she said with a nod of the head.

The man leaned forward over the counter. “If you were mine there’s no way I’d let you out of the bedroom.”

“Hey! Easy…” John warned the man, voice tense and eyebrow raised. “What would you like to drink?” He directed this to Marlena.

“I think,” she began, leaning both her elbows on the bar, making her chest push forward, and intertwined her fingers together, “I’ll have a mojito.”

John noticed the man staring at Marlena’s cleavage and biting his lip. “And I’ll take another one of these,” he said curtly, sliding his glass towards the man, pulling his attention away.

The cute bartender winked at Marlena and walked off to prepare the drinks.

“You look nice tonight,” John complimented, still a little tense, once they were alone again.

“Thank you,” she blushed, “so do you. It actually looks like you just came from the office.” She noted his slacks and crisp dress shirt not completely done up, chest hair showing.

“Well, you’re right, but,” John began but stopped when the well built man returned, setting John’s scotch before him and turned towards Marlena.

“One mojito for the sexy blonde,” he flirted.

Marlena smiled politely and said thank you, turning towards John again.

“Are you here alone?” the bartender asked, still leaning over the counter towards her.

Marlena turned to him politely but John shot him an exasperated look and said, “Buddy, do you mind?”

Then man grinned and looked Marlena over once more before walking away.

John took a quick swig of his drink before shooting her a look. “That wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t dressed like that.” He pointed to her chest, still holding the glass in his hand.

Marlena looked down and smoothed her hands over the material at her stomach. She was insulted. “One minute you compliment me and the next you insult me, alright then,” she said sarcastically. “You have no right to tell me what I can and cannot wear,” she said in a low voice.

“Just saying,” he shrugged, looking at the bottles of booze strategically placed on the shelves in front of them. “You don’t know the effect you have on a man.”

An awkward silence settled between them,

John sighed, not wanting to argue with her. He turned his head towards her and smiled tightly. “What are you doing here tonight?”

Marlena shrugged. “I needed a girls night. The reception was nice yesterday but I needed to get drunk and let go.”

By the look on her face and her tone John knew what she meant. The night before and that morning had not been a walk in the park for her.

“Why are you here?” she asked him, taking a small sip of the minty drink.

He sighed and turned around in his seat then, completely facing Marlena, his right arm leaning on the bar. “Went to the gym and after I was done and showered I realized I didn’t want to go back to that house just yet…so somehow I ended up here.”

Marlena thought of the house and smiled, remembering the first time she had seen it. “I’ve always loved that house.”

“I know. That’s why I bought it,” he said, trailing off for a moment. “It’s nice to have this big house but what good is it when it feels empty.”

“Ask Rebecca to move in,” Marlena suggested after she swallowed a drink.

John shook his head then. “I’m not ready to do that with her.”

She paused, unsure what to say. “Can I ask why?” she asked uneasily, crossing one leg over the other.

He gave her an uncertain look and shook his head.

“You know, I’m known to be a great listener. I’ve also heard I’m good at giving advice,” she joked, poking him on the shoulder.

John looked at her uncertainly again. “It’s just weird, you know.” He shrugged. “Our situation is fucked.”

Marlena let out a laugh. “I have to agree with you on that. But I want to be your friend…You were my best friend once, and I know we can’t get back to that, but I’ll take what I can get.”

“Marlena…”

She put a reassuring hand on his bicep. “Let me help you. I can tell something is bothering you.”

John leaned back, effectively causing her hand to fall from his arm. “Has it occurred to you that maybe it’s the fact that I’m too close to you? You really don’t know the effect you have men.”

“Oh,” she looked down embarrassed, twirling her glass around on the counter. “I..I should get back to the girls.” She went to stand up but John’s hand on her thigh stopped her.

“I…stay,” he said in a soft and defeated voice.

When Marlena raised her eyes, a magnetic force pulled her eyes to his, locking onto one another. Neither blinked nor spoke. With his left hand still on her thigh John’s right hand reached out and brushed the hair from her face, looking into her eyes as if nothing had changed between them.

This caused butterflies to flutter in Marlena’s stomach, making her shut her eyes quickly; breaking the spell he had on her. Her right hand went to his still on her thigh and she squeezed, holding on for a few seconds before pushing his hand away. When she opened her eyes again she had to fight to keep the sadness from showing. “Let me tell you what I think,” she said softly.

John raised an eyebrow but didn’t say a word.

“I think you two had a fight, you slammed the door and walked out and now you’re sitting here drinking your feelings away while ignoring her calls and her texts,” she summarized.

John laughed awkwardly. “You really are a great shrink,” he said before downing the rest of his drink.

“No,” she smiled sadly. “I just know you so well. I used to be the one waiting for you right now.”

He looked away then, thinking. “We made a lot of mistakes didn’t we,” he finally said.

Marlena agreed, only nodding her head before slowly sipping her mojito. “So are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

“Promise you won’t slap me?” John asked, still looking straight ahead.

She paused to think for a moment. “Maybe,” she answered with a slight grin on her face.

“Things haven’t been the same in a while,” he began, shrugging his shoulders as if it was nothing serious. “I think it just took me a while to realize it.”

“With you and Rebecca, you mean?” she observed as John nodded. “How long have you been feeling like this?” she asked.

“It’s been several months. I guess if I think about it it’s been like this ever since…” John trailed off, letting Marlena come to a conclusion for herself.

Realization set in and she could only mutter, “Oh.”

Avoiding her prying eyes, he said, “I have a hard time letting go of people.”

Marlena tilted her head to the side. “I don’t understand.”

Out of stress, John chuckled nervously, fiddling with a napkin. “You know, I really don’t want to talk about this with you.”

With pleading eyes she said, “John.”

He was silent for a moment, deciding if and how he would say what he was thinking. “Suppose to keep from hurting the ones I love…I keep on holding on when I should be letting go,” he said. “When there’s nothing left to hold on to, I think.”

Marlena opened her mouth to speak but no words would come out. “Was I that bad of a girlfriend?” she asked out of the blue after a long silence.

“No,” John answered quickly in a sincere tone, wanting her to know he meant it. “I should have fought harder instead of giving up on us as easily as I did.”

With a hurt expression, Marlena asked, “Then why didn’t you?”

He shrugged. “We had been arguing so much,” he said simply. “No matter what I did you were always mad. I remember thinking that I can’t give you what you want and it’s killing me and then I started to see that maybe we weren’t meant to be.”

Marlena gasped, fighting to hold back the sob that wanted so badly to come out. “We had been arguing so much,” she repeated his words, her voice hoarse from the tightness of her throat.

Not able to look at her John just nodded. “Yes, and I just pictured my life and I didn’t want to spend it fighting. So I gave up…on you; on us. And I figured it would be easier to forget what it’s like to love you if I pretended that it never happened. I shouldn’t have done that.” He brought his eyes to her face then and it pained him to see her so broken. Sliding his hand across the counter, John apologetically squeezed one of her hands. “I’ve said and done things that I regret deeply. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you.”

She swallowed the ball in her throat and breathed heavily. “I cant…I have to..I have to go,” she finished, stumbling off the barstool and running off through the crowd of dancers as her tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

John immediately stood on his feet and ran after her, catching her by the arm when she made it outside the club. She didn’t even attempt to pull away from him. She just looked up at him, eyes brimming with tears, tear-stained cheeks and she let out an audible sob.

John loosened his grip on her arm but did not let her go. “Where are you going? I’m not letting you leave like this?”

She looked around nervously, wanting to get away from him. “Laura and Lexie are inside somewhere, I’ll call a cab.” She used both hands to wipe her tears away, sniffling.

He looked her up and down. She looked broken and small. “You’re a mess, I’m not letting you go like this. I’ll take you,” he insisted.

Marlena yanked her arm away roughly, stepping back. “John no, we can’t.”

The door to the nightclub opened, music blaring into the night.

“This is not up for negotiation,” he barked.

“What’s the matter?” Lexie asked, nearing them. Having just exited, she and Laura had caught John looking tense and Marlena looking depressed.

Laura knew the internal struggle Marlena was dealing with and she wished she could take her friend’s pain and feelings away. “Marlena?” Laura asked softly.

Not taking his eyes off of Marlena, John said, “She’ll be fine. I’m taking her home.” He grabbed hold of her wrist and was about to start walking when Lexie put a hand on his arm and stopped him.

“John, I hardly think this is a good idea,” Lexie insisted, looking between him and Marlena uncertainly.

“Not up for discussion,” he answered quickly. “I’m not letting her take a cab like this. Come on, I’ll drive all of you home.”

“I actually have someone coming to pick me up already,” Laura said, a cheeky grin appearing on her face.

Lexie gasped. “No! Bill?” she asked excitedly.

Laura smiled widely and nodded.

John didn’t register the women’s excitement; he simply fixed his eyes on Lexie then. “Alright, that leaves you. Come on, I’ll take you home to Abe.”

Laura turned her attention to Marlena who was standing quietly across from her on the sidewalk. She rubbed her hands up and down Marlena’s arms. “Are you going to be okay tonight?” she asked and Marlena nodded her head slightly. “Tonight was supposed to be about fun and you look like you’ve just lost your best friend.”

Marlena faked a smile and shrugged a shoulder. “I was having fun,” she said. “I’ll be alright. You go and enjoy yourself.” The friends hugged before parting and saying their goodbyes.

During the drive home, they drove by Marlena’s penthouse without stopping. Lexie leaned forward from the backseat and said, “You just passed Marlena’s apartment.”

“I’ll drop her off after.” He continued to drive Lexie home. “Tell Abe I say hello.”

“Goodnight Marlena, call me in the morning.” Absentmindedly, Marlena nodded before the door closed.

“I’m taking you home,” John said as Marlena stared ahead blankly.

Marlena awoke the next morning in a room that was not her own. The walls were white, making it a nice and relaxing sight to wake up to. She turned around and stretched an arm out to the other side of the bed, a smile on her face. It’s good to wake up here, she thought.

Although she wouldn’t admit it to John, she was glad that he had brought her to his house last night. She was even more glad that he had not tried anything on her when they got there, for she knew that she was not strong enough to resist him even though she was adamant that it could never happen again. He simply handed her some pajamas and offered her the guest room before retiring to his own room.

After a few moments, she pulled the sheets back and sat up in bed. The door was closed but she heard noise coming from downstairs. Soon, she was on her feet and walking out of the room. Walking down the hall, she peaked over the balcony but did not see John. She continued her walk when the seating area to her right caught her attention.

She had not noticed it last night, but John had made a few changes since she’d last been there. Hanging on the wall was a beautiful portrait of a white horse’s head. She remembered the wall was bare when they dated. She smiled in awe of the portrait and continued her walk downstairs.

At the sound of her footsteps, John smiled. “There she is.”

She was wearing a pair of John’s pajama bottoms with a grey long sleeve, makeup slightly smudged underneath the eyes with bed head. In an attempt to tame it, Marlena combed her hair back with her fingers.

John placed a cup of steaming coffee at the breakfast nook built into the island, a plate with a mixture of fresh cut fruits already sitting on the table. “I was going to wake you but you were sleeping so peacefully when I peaked in,” he said, sliding into the booth seating.

“I guess it’s a good thing I don’t work today,” she said while stifling a yawn. She whispered a thanks as she grabbed the hot mug but did not sit down.

“I should have woken you, I’m sorry. I know how important residency is.”

Marlena swallowed a sip before licking her lips and shaking a hand dismissively. “The office is closed today. Dr. Winthrop is out of town so I have the day off.” She left him and walked to the adjoining dining room where the three walls were made of floor to ceiling windows with black grids. Outside, trees lined the room making it a lovely green view with rays of sun peaking through.

She was leaning against one window, holding her coffee in both hands and looking outside. “Aren’t you late for work?” Marlena asked between sips of the warm coffee.

“I can show up whenever I want. Perks of being the boss,” he joked, biting into a piece of cantaloupe.

Both jumped slightly when the doorbell rang. Standing up, he held out a hand to calm her. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.” He walked out of the kitchen and down the hall to the living room, making his way to the entrance. “Hi,” he said simply when he opened the door to Rebecca.

“I saw your car still in the driveway and I wanted to apologize.” She pushed past him and stepped inside. “Last night I behaved like a jealous lunatic,” she admitted.

Sitting down on the top step, John sighed. “It’s alright. I understand where you were coming from.”

“I don’t want to share you,” she said seriously.

John cringed at her words.

When she took the three steps and began walking into the living room John’s heart started beating faster. It relaxed a little when he realized she was just walking to the couches.

“I see you talking with another woman and I get jealous, but when I see you with her,” she paused, taking a sharp breath. “When I see you with her I go crazy with jealousy.” She sat down on the loveseat, pulling the cushion on her lap. “I’m not blind, I know how all heads turn when she walks into a room, including yours. I know enough about your relationship to know that you two were crazy about each other, and call me crazy but when I see you together, especially like you were the other night, I can’t help but think that she’ll take you away from me.”

John was now kneeling on the ground in front of her, hands on her knees. “I will admit that what she and I had was deep and intense, but,” he stressed the last word when he saw her eyes flash with anger and hurt, “but that’s in the past. She can’t take me away from you. The only person that can do that is me.”

“I don’t want to lose you.” Her lip began quivering then.

“I know,” he sighed, squeezing her right knee.

She stood up and began walking away from him and towards the kitchen.

Coming to his feet quickly, John stuttered trying to get a sentence out. “Wh..Where are you going?” he managed to get out after finally stopping her in her tracks.

She looked at him with a bizarre look on her face. “I was just going to get a glass of water.”

“Stay here,” he insisted, directing her back to the seating area. “I’ll go get it.” There was no way she could find out that Marlena was there.

“Uhh, don’t worry about it,” she waved it off. “I have to go any minute anyways.”

With his back turned to her, he let out a relieved sigh. After composing himself again he took a seat beside her. “Look, honey, I just want to say that I’m sorry too.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. It was all me. I imagined something that wasn’t there and I assumed things that were incorrect.”

John shook his head softly. “I wasn’t just talking about last night. I was apologizing for everything that I’ve done.”

Rebecca furrowed her brows, confused. “Like what?”

“Let’s save it for another time.” He smiled tightly at her, not believing he had just said that. “Nothing to worry about,” he dismissed. They sat in silence for an extended period of time before John spoke again. “Are we good now? Is all forgiven?”

She nodded, a little ashamed of her outburst from the night before. “I do trust you,” she stressed. “I just don’t trust her.”

John cleared his throat then, embarrassed that Marlena was probably hearing all of this.

Rebecca stood up at this time. “I have to get going, I have to be at the office by 9:30,” she said.

With a hand to her lower back, John walked her to the door and gave her a small peck on the cheek before escorting her out.

“I’m sorry you had to hear all of that,” he said to Marlena when he returned to the kitchen. She was still standing against the wall with the mug between her hands like he had left her when the doorbell rang.

“I’m actually glad I did.”

John scratched his head, confused. He went back to his coffee and fruits, hoping she would drop the subject.

She finally came to sit at the table with him, except she sat on one of two pull out chairs. “John we need to talk. Remember what we were talking about last night at the bar?” She reached over and stole a strawberry from his plate.

John shrugged sheepishly. “Many things were said.”

“You mentioned you had lost your feelings for Rebecca,” Marlena said, pushing further when John rolled his eyes. “She obviously loves you and I can’t help but feel like this is sort of my fault. I shouldn’t have agreed to have sex with you the first time and I certainly shouldn’t have kept it going as long as I did.”

“Do you honestly think that things between Rebecca and I would still be perfect if it weren’t for you? You think that if I wasn’t fucking you a couple times a week that my feelings for her would still be the same? You’re giving yourself too much credit.”

Unaffected, Marlena looked him dead in the eyes and told him what she thought. “I think your relationship got boring, maybe that spark began to fade a little, and you went looking for a way to spice things up,” she finished her sentence by pointing both pointer fingers at herself. “I think you felt guilty for the infidelity, and although that didn’t stop you, you began to distance yourself even more from her and your relationship, causing you to lose that spark.”

John sat there in silence, focused on the plate of fruits before him. One hand was holding the fork, playing with a pineapple while the other hand was balled into a fist on his lap.

Leaning back within her chair, Marlena raised her right foot to the seat and held her bent leg. She splayed her left hand on the soft wood of the table, biding her time before she started up again. “Would you like to know the conclusion I’ve come up with?”

Quickly he raised his eyes to her, annoyance visible on his face. “Don’t shrink me, Marlena.”

That didn’t affect her. She looked him dead in the eyes when she spoke. “You’re a quitter. When the fun times simmer down and things begin to get hard, you bail. You did it with me and you’re doing it again with Rebecca.”

The balled up fist that was in his lap now struck the table loudly, making Marlena jump in surprise. “That’s enough!”

“Relationships do get dull sometimes, things get too repetitive, too predictable and this is worsened by the boredom you may feel in contrast to how things were at the start,” she explained. “John, you can’t expect to just love every moment with someone, even if you aren’t doing anything cool or interesting. Sometimes you will, but you’re also human and you can get bored. But it is possible to find that spark again; you just have to be willing to work at it.”

“Are you finished?”

“A relationship needs work and maintenance in order to last,” she said. She remained seated for a moment longer before she stood up, mug in hand, and began to walk to the other side of the island.

“Things were already going downhill when I decided to text you,” John spoke, having turned around in his seat to face her. “I only went after you because my feelings for her were already leaving, I just didn’t know it then.”

She glanced at him quickly while she dumped the remainder of her coffee down the drain. “And what brought on this revelation of yours?”

“I don’t know.” John now stood up, taking his mug and the fruits with him. “Could have been because I didn’t really miss her when I was in Chicago, or the fact that I unintentionally came up with random excuses for her not to come see me.” He had handed her the empty mug to rinse. “Or maybe it was you.” Their eyes locked. “Maybe I was enjoying sneaking around with you and I couldn’t get that body of yours out of my mind.”

Marlena held up a hand to stop him. “We can’t keep having this conversation!”

He smirked. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” Marlena bypassed him and opened the dishwasher door, putting the two mugs on the top drawer. “I tell you I don’t want to do this anymore and you try to reel me back in with talks of my body, of the great sex we have, whatever you can to try to get me back in your bed.” She slammed the door and leaned against the counter. “Hell, you even brought me home with you last night.”

John was busy putting the remaining fruits in a tupperware container. “Nothing happened,” he said dismissively.

“True. But what exactly did you have in mind when you brought me here last night?”

“Doc…”

“No!” She yelled. “We’ve had our time! We’ve said all there is to say. You will not get me back in your bed.”

After putting the fruits in the fridge and the plate in the sink, John turned to Marlena, coming to stand close to her, his hand nearly touching hers on the marble countertop. “I wasn’t trying to get you back in my bed, as you put it.”

She relaxed. “Good.”

When she moved back to the sink and the dishes John said, “would it be so bad if it did happen?”

Her head dropped and she laughed tensely. “You just don’t give up, do you?”

“When sex is this amazing, no I don’t.”

She spun around then, fury in her eyes. “I can’t keep doing this because I still love you!” she yelled the final four words, the pain evident in her voice and in her face.

“I know,” John said simply, still leaning against the counter opposite of her.  

With balled up fists she said, “I will always love you.”

“I know.”

“Please stop saying ‘I know’,” this time her voice was soft, almost pleading.

“What else do you want me to say? I do know. I knew it then and I know it now. The pain written all over your face whenever our conversations get too deep…You wouldn’t be feeling that way if it weren’t for love. I’m sorry I can’t do anything to ease the pain but say that I’m sorry and I wish things could have been different.”

“I have to go.” She ran out of the kitchen and down the hall, took the three steps into the entryway and got her heels from one of the closets. With the shoes in her hand, she opened the front door and looked out, not moving. She heard John chuckle behind her.

He was standing at the top of the stairs. “I suppose you didn’t think that far ahead did you?” He grinned at her when she turned around with an annoyed look masking her face.

Marlena closed the door and dropped her shoes. “It’s not funny.”

He chuckled again. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll drive you.”

When John came back downstairs Marlena was nowhere to be found. He searched the kitchen and the dining room, the guest rooms on the main floor, he searched the basement, he even searched the laundry room. “Marlena?” he yelled out.

He heard her call from upstairs. “I’m in your office.”

John scurried up the stairs and down the hall to his office. There was a simple black x-base desk sitting diagonally in the corner of the room on a plush grey carpet. To the right, there was an adjoining small library with shelves matching the office desk, potted plants sat on a few shelves along with endless books.

Dressed in her clothes from the previous night, Marlena was standing by the rolling ladder, fingers lingering on various books. She smiled when she sensed John. “I’ve been looking for this,” she said, pulling out a psychology book.

John shrugged sheepishly. “You left it on my desk the last time you were here.”

“I think I’ll leave it. It adds variety in here.” Marlena put it back on the shelf where she had found it. She let out a laugh when she finally looked at him.

“What?”

Coming to stand closer to him, Marlena reached out to grab his crooked tie. She looked up at him quickly before focusing on the task at hand. She smoothed her hand over his chest when she finished and smiled tightly. “Let’s go.”

**

They stood out on the balcony at the hospital, a cool wind blowing softly. “What was so important that we had to meet right away?” James asked. He was standing outside in the cool spring weather wearing only his scrubs.

Marlena carefully searched her words while running her hand through her hair and behind her ear. “I need to say something that I really don’t want to say.”

James chuckled tensely. “Why do I get the sense that I don’t want to hear this?”

“You’re right…I’m sorry.” Turning her back to him, she crossed her arms and mentally prepared for what she was about to say to this man who had been nothing short of amazing to her.

“Alright, shoot.” He buried his hands in his pant pockets.

“James…” she paused, not knowing how to begin. She wrung her fingers together.

He placed his strong hands on her shoulders and turned her around to face him again. “Marlena, you are the most beautiful, most caring, patient, wonderful, compassionate person I know. You’re always giving all of yourself to others even when you deserve to be cared for also. Let me do that for you,” he insisted. “Nothing would make me happier than to be by your side, making you smile day in and day out, rain or shine.”

A small but sad smile came to her lips. “You knew where I was heading with this didn’t you?”

James gave a little nod. “I may not be a psychiatrist but I am good at reading people, Dr. Evans, and you my dear are an open book.”

“I’m sorry.” She shook her head and looked down, ashamed.

“Can you read me?” James asked. Marlena shook her head once again. “I am a man who is falling head over heals for the beautiful blonde bombshell standing before him. I would do anything for her. I want to make her laugh; I want to make her smile everyday. I want to be the reason she has a glow on her face.”

Marlena’s tears fell freely down her face, to her jaw and down onto her plaid covered chest. “If I even thought that were a possibility we wouldn’t be here having this discussion. James,” she looked up into his light brown eyes, “you’re a wonderful man, a brilliant doctor, a great lover, and any woman would be more than lucky to have you.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “But I’m not that woman,” she said as she exhaled. “I am so sorry. I tried, but I can’t keep leading you on like this. It isn’t fair to you and it isn’t fair to me.”

James shook his head and brought a finger up to scratch his beard. “It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t already know how you feel, but I do. I also know that we can have something great together, I know your feelings will grow.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry,” this time she said it stronger. “I’ve come to realize that my feelings will never change. They’ll always be there, which is why it’s wrong to keep this up. I’m sorry.”

“I know,” he replied with a somber voice.

“Do you? You can’t know how sorry I am! I really wanted this to work for us but I know now that it can’t. I am so so sorry.”

He shrugged one shoulder and gave a fake smile. “It was great while it lasted. I’ll cherish the time we had together, Marlena.”

Marlena nodded and cleared her tight throat. “I would really like it if we could be friends one day. You’re a great guy and just because it didn’t work out for us romantically, it doesn’t mean that I never want to see you again.”

“I’d like that. Text me sometime.” He took a few steps closer and pulled her into a warm embrace. “Goodbye, Marlena,” he whispered in her hair before letting go and walking back into the hospital.

Recently home from her honeymoon, Hope was at pub talking with Caroline when she noticed Marlena walking through the door. Hope left the bar and ran up to her, hugging her tightly. “Ahhh!” She laughed. “I’m so glad to see you,” she said giddily.

“Yeah, it’s been a while!” The blonde smiled brightly, readjusting her jacket around her waist. “Congratulations to you and Bo.”

“I can’t wait to tell you all about the honeymoon but first I want to hear all about you.”

She shrugged, securing the strap of her purse on her shoulder. “What about me?”

Hope looked at her with a knowing look. “Come on sweetie, I saw you and John at the reception and I heard from Lexie about that night at Fusion.”

“Hope, I think you’re,” she tried but Hope interrupted.

Hope reached out and put her hands on her friend’s upper arms. “I really hope you didn’t go home with him Marlena. I know you two have been carrying on this thing between you two for months now but I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“What?! My sister has been sleeping with John?” she yelled out, shocked and disgusted.

Hope went pale when she realized her mistake. “Sam? Oh my god.” Her hands went up to cover her mouth. “I’m so sorry! I thought you were Marlena.”

Sam shook her head wildly. “Oh no hun, I wouldn’t be sleeping with someone who’s already taken. That’s Marlena job apparently!”

Unbeknownst to them, Rebecca had walked through the door and was sitting at one of the tables behind them. She had heard it all. Standing up on shaky legs, she walked up to Hope and Sam. “Did I…What did you say?” she asked Sam.

If it were even possible, Hope’s face went even paler at the realization of what she had just caused. “Rebecca, please listen to me,” Hope insisted, not knowing what to say or do.

“No, no!” Getting up in Sam’s face, Rebecca continued. “I want to hear it from this whore!”

“Now hold up a second,” said Sam curtly, not backing away.

Rebecca had to fight every urge within herself not to slap the woman standing before her. “You bitch! You’ve been sleeping with my boyfriend? You don’t get a pass!”

Hope put an arm between both women and put some distant between them. “This isn’t Marlena, Rebecca.” Rebecca looked between both women, confused. “Marlena has a twin. This,” Hope pointed to Sam, “is Samantha.”

Rebecca felt like her head was going to spin out of control. “What I heard…What you were talking about…John and…and Marlena?”

Hope looked at her with a pleading look in her eyes. “I’m really sorry, but I think you should talk to John about this”.

**

John was working on his computer when the door to his office burst open and Rebecca barged in looking rather angry. His secretary Madison was following quickly behind her. “I’m sorry Mr. Black,” the young blonde said. “I tired to tell her you were busy but she wouldn’t listen.”

He held a hand up to her and gave a reassuring smile her way. “It’s alright. Please just close the door behind you.” He was now standing behind his desk looking worriedly at Rebecca. “Baby, is everything alright?”

She looked at him incredulously. She looked at him and she didn’t know who was staring back at her. He had lied to her and she believed it. She never even suspected anything. Was it all an act?

“I can see something’s happened. I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

He quickly moved from his position behind the desk and walked across the room to her, gently cupping her face within his palms. “Come on honey, tell me what happened?”

Quickly, she pulled back from his grasp and it was then that Rebecca brought her hand back to slap him hard across the face, never once blinking. When John recovered from the shock and was looking at her while holding his cheek, she said, “you son of a bitch. You slept with Marlena! How could you?”

Shocked, John stumbled back as if he had been physically hit and looked away, ashamed. “I…I’m sorry. I don’t even know what to say.”

Rebecca hurled her arms at him, hitting him in the chest. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” she managed to get out between hits.

After taking a couple more hits to the chest John was able to grab a hold of Rebecca’s wrists and stop her. “Baby, you have no idea how sorry I am,” he said wholeheartedly. “I never meant to hurt you.”

Still pressed against him, Rebecca looked up with tear filled eyes. “How could you sleep with her?” she asked, her voice cracking.

John couldn’t muster up an answer; he just closed his eyes and shook his head sadly, letting go of her arms.

In a low and controlled voice Rebecca said, “How many times?”

John let out a sad sigh and turned around. Although she tried to compose herself, she was breaking inside and he could not bear to see it. “Don’t do this to yourself Rebecca.”

“How many times did you have sex with her?!” she yelled.

John began thinking back. It had been six months. There was that first time when John had told her to meet him at a new hotel in the city, and it all spiraled from there. Bo and Hope’s, Chez Rouge, their many times at the Salem Inn, once in the alley behind the Pub, the penthouse, the car…All those extremely gratifying times that unfortunately led to this moment. “Just once. It was only one time,” he lied, his back still to her.

“When?” she asked without blinking.

He turned around then and shot her an exasperated look. “Baby, stop. You don’t actually want to know all of the details.”

Rebecca took a couple steps back when John tried to reach for her. “I need to make sense of this. When did this happen?”

He had to think again. Decide when, which month, and where their ‘only’ time happened.

“It was before I left for Chicago.”

It was all starting to make sense to her now, why he wouldn’t let her come down to visit him, why it felt like he was avoiding her, or why he did not want them to live together. “How did this happen?”

“I’m not going to share the details with you. What I will do is promise you that it was just that one time and it is over now. It was a mistake. I never meant to hurt you.”

“But you did hurt me. I never thought you’d be capable of that but look at us now. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to believe anymore.” She flung her hands up in the air.

“Believe in us,” he pleaded with her.

There was a long pause before Rebecca finally spoke. “Do you still love her?”

Very quickly and without giving it a thought he answered, “No.”

It went quiet again as both started sadly at the other.

“Please don’t leave.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know!” Rebecca took a seat in one of the chairs and crossed her arms. “I never thought I’d have to deal with something like this. And it’s not like you just slept with a random girl. You slept with someone you used to love; someone you know I didn’t like. For god’s sake, how am I supposed to get past this?”

John knelt down before her and put his hands on her waist. “Believe in us. Trust me when I say that it’s over and it won’t happen again. Believe me when I say that I am terribly sorry for hurting you.”

She tore her eyes away from him and looked ahead, out at the city. They both stay silent, Rebecca seated and John still kneeling at her feet. Several minutes passed before her voice finally broke through the painful silence. “Okay.”

“Okay?” John asked apprehensively, not wanting to get his hopes up.

Rebecca nodded softly. “Okay,” she repeated. “I can look back on our relationship and pick out spots where it wasn’t always perfect. Someday I’ll do the same and this will be one of those imperfect moments but the sun always shines again…I’m not ever going to forget what you did but we can get passed this.”

John pulled her into a tight embrace then, whispering “I’m sorry” into her hair continuously until she pushed him away and stood up.

She gave a sad smile as she began walking backwards towards the door. “I just need some time alone. I’ll call you.”

“Are my eyes deceiving me or do I actually see John Black standing at my bar,” Caroline said with a laugh as she walked from the back. “It’s been a while since we’ve seen you in here.” Jokingly she flicked him on the arm once she reached him.

“There’s a reason for that,” he let out a deep breath. “Rebecca thinks Marlena is here too often.”

He caught the look she gave him before she turned to tend to the customer standing by him wanting a refill on his coffee.

“You know John,” Caroline said once she put the coffee pot back on the burner. “You really shouldn’t let a woman tell you what you can and cannot do, no matter how much you love her.”

John gave a tense smile before saying, “I’m just trying to keep her happy.”

She looked at him knowingly. “That shouldn’t come at the price of your own happiness.” Caroline had known him for over 20 years now and she could always read him like a book, whether he was 8 years old or now.

He faked a reassuring smile her way and knocked his knuckles on the bar. “I’m fine.”

“Are you really? I’ve known you for a very long time, John.” She gave him a knowing look.

“Yes you have,” he nodded with a grin. “But I’m still not going to talk about my feelings,” he said jokingly.

Caroline laughed. “Well what will you talk about? You were gone for a long time, tell me about that.”

John shrugged. “Business is thriving, Chicago was great but there’s no place like home. Speaking of home, nothing feels quite like home than your famous clam chowder.” One of his eyebrows went up suggestively.

Extending a hand to squeeze his arm, Caroline said, “a bowl of chowder coming up!” She was about to walk away when she remembered something. “Would you like some…” she trailed off, her eyes on the two blonde beauties who just walked through the door. “Marlena and her sister,” she said, taken aback. She had known Marlena since not long after she arrived in Salem over five years before, but never had she seen Marlena and her twin sister together.

“Why would you mention Marlena?” John asked too quickly before following her gaze.

When John’s eyes caught them and then quickly retreated, Sam took a heavy breath. “I’ll give you a moment,” she said, however still expressing a look of disapproval as she walked to the far end of the bar, near the bathrooms.

Apprehensively, Marlena approached John and Caroline.  

“Marlena, it’s nice to see you,” Caroline greeted cheerfully, ignoring the tension between the former couple.

Marlena smiled warmly at the older woman. “It’s always so lovely to see you as well.”

“I’ve noticed we have double of you in here today,” she motioned with her head to Sam.

Marlena cleared her throat and quickly shift her eyes to and from John and back to Caroline. “Uh yes. She surprised me with her visit.”

“You must be so happy to have her here.”

Marlena let out a strangled nervous giggle. “She’s brought up several emotions that’s for sure.” She eyed John discreetly, willing him to look at her.

For having missed it at the beginning, Caroline was finally sensing the tension and seeing the looks Marlena was throwing John’s way and his refusal to look at her. “I think I’ll go serve your sister. She looks like she’s ready to order.” She quickly excused herself and left.

“Hi,” Marlena said nervously, her fists clenched at her sides.

“Hi.”

She waited to catch his eye but it never came. “I want you to know that I’m sorry for what happened. I’ve been wanting to apologize ever since…but I didn’t want to cause more trouble.”

John just nodded.

“I didn’t want you to hate me,” Marlena said with an uncertain voice.

He looked at her then, eyes burning into hers. “I don’t hate you. I know it wasn’t you.” His eyes shifted to Sam for a brief moment. “Tell her thanks for me,” he said sarcastically.

Marlena scratched her cheekbone and awkwardly said, “yeah, she isn’t a big fan of yours right now.”

John shrugged dismissively. “Good thing I’m not looking for her approval.”

Marlena wrung her fingers together nervously. “Yeah…So how are you two doing? I hope this didn’t ruin your relationship.”

He gave her a look that said it was none of her business.

Marlena got the hint. “Sorry I asked.”

“She didn’t leave me,” he shrugged as he said this, causing Marlena to want to dig further into his response but she left it alone. “We shouldn’t be talking right now. If Rebecca were to find out,” he shook his head, not finishing his sentence.

As if on cue, Rebecca walked through the door and spotted them at the counter. Containing her anger so as to avoid making a scene, she walked over to them and cleared her throat, eyes shooting daggers at the both of them.

“I should go,” Marlena said, attempting to walk away but Rebecca blocked her way.

“You’ve got some nerve,” she said in a low voice.

Marlena had to restrain herself for she knew that Rebecca’s feelings and actions were justified, but gosh did she hate that woman. “Rebecca,” she faked a nice voice, “I’m truly sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

“You’re sorry I found out but you sure as hell aren’t sorry for having sex with my boyfriend.” Then she turned to John. “I told you to stay away from her.”

At that moment Sam rushed over. “That’s actually my twin sister Sam,” she told Rebecca, pretending to be Marlena. “She and John were catching up but I knew I shouldn’t, which is why I was standing over there,” she pointed behind her to where she used to be. “I want to apologize to you for sleeping with John. It was a mistake and it shouldn’t have happened.” She looked between John and Marlena and then back to Rebecca.

“And I’m sorry you overheard me and Hope the other day,” Marlena said.

“Come on Sam,” said Sam, grabbing Marlena’s hand and pulling her towards the exit but not before she caught John mouth a quick ‘thank you’ her way.

The second Rebecca watched the door close behind the sisters she turned to John and said, “what the fuck!” in a raised voice. She didn’t care that a couple of customers sitting near were watching.

“Not here,” John said. He caught Caroline’s eyes and apologized before taking Rebecca by the arm and leading her out.

“What’s the matter with you?” John asked, rather annoyed and frustrated. “You make a scene and cause unnecessary drama, you yell in the middle of a restaurant. That’s not good for business nor is it polite or respectful.”

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Don’t you dare lecture me about being polite and respectful.”

“Look, I know you’re angry and you have every right to be. I’m not going to deny you that, but you need to realize that not everything I do is wrong or counts as betrayal.” John waited a moment for a response and when he did not get one he began walking away towards the parking lot. Rebecca soon followed.

She caught up with him and pulled him back by the arm. “You know how I feel. Why would you do that?” she whined.

He arched an eyebrow. “This time Rebecca, I didn’t do anything.”

“You’re addicted to her!” she yelled exasperatedly.

John was thankful that there was no one else in the parking lot because she really was making a scene. “I wasn’t even speaking to her. I was speaking to her sister.” At least for now he was thankful for Sam and the cover story she provided them.

She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. “A sister who’s a dead ringer for her! You can’t go near Marlena so you settle for the next best thing.”

“You’re being ridiculous.” He finished the walk to his SUV and opened the door.

Rebecca quickly slammed the door shut. “I can’t do this if I can’t trust you and you’re making it hard for me to do that.”

His jaw was set as he took a calming breath. “I think you’re still upset so you’re over exaggerating.”

“Of course I’m still upset! I just found out that my boyfriend fucked his ex behind my back!” In an attempt to calm herself Rebecca turned her back to him and ran her fingers through her hair, taking deep breaths. “All week I’ve been trying to decide if I made the right decision by staying with you. I love you, god knows that but I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.” At this moment she turned around and looked at him with somber eyes. “I tell myself that everything will work itself out, it just needs time…Rome wasn’t built in a day, so this can’t be fixed just like that either. But then today happens and it brings it all back! What am I supposed to do?”

John didn’t answer. Instead he focused his eyes on the ground and dug his hands deep in his pockets.

It was with a defeated voice that she continued. “I keep asking myself ‘What if it doesn’t work out?’ But then there’s this little voice inside of me is saying ‘What if it does?’” she made a sound that sounded like a sob but she was not crying. “I can’t bare to live without you but I can’t live like this either.”

“What do you want from me?” he snapped. “I said I was sorry and that it would never happen again, I’m not sure what else there is to say?”

She was stunned. “You’re sorry?” Forcefully she brought her hands to his chest and pushed him backwards, causing him to hit his back against the driver’s door of his car. “You think that’s all it takes from you and the rest is up to me?”

John moved away from his car, in case she decided to do a repeat of what just happened. “Of course not,” he insisted. “But you need to believe me when I apologize and you need to stop resenting me or else no matter what I do, no matter what I say, it won’t make a difference. That’s how it starts. You forgive me and then we start to work our way back to where we were.”

With sunken shoulders, she looked at him tiredly. It was a physical and emotional exhaustion that consumed her. “All I want is to know you love me as much as I love you. I want to know because I can’t tell anymore; you keep hiding your emotions…” she trailed off sadly, shrugging one shoulder. “I want to know if I still make you the happiest person in the world. You barely show any interest in me anymore. Do you love me as much as you once did or is that wishful thinking?”

John looked at her and he was ashamed of himself for making her think this way, for making her doubt herself. “You’re right…I’m sorry for pulling away from you. I think I just felt so bad for what happened,” he paused, “for what I did. And I knew I didn’t deserve you after I betrayed you.”

“Well you don’t.” Rebecca crossed her arms stubbornly. “But even if I wanted to, I don’t know how I would be able to say goodbye to you.” She allowed him to pull her into his arms and embrace her softly. They stood in the wind, holding onto each other for a long time before she pulled away and looked up at him. “We’re going through a storm right now. We just have to get through it and then it will be smooth sailing again.”

John took her hands in his and squeezed them. “I promise to never hurt you like this ever again.” He meant it.

His eyes were steady to the horizon, face aglow with the last orange rays before dark surrounded. His lips bore the semblance of a smile; just enough to show that he was enjoying his thoughts, whatever they may be. Rebecca moved closer so that he felt her presence, yet stayed quiet, allowing him to stay lost in the moment a while longer.

“I knew I’d find you here,” she finally said.

Looking over his shoulder, he quickly acknowledged her. “Just came here to wind down.”

She took a few steps closer but remained behind him. “What are you thinking?”

“Oh um…” he thought. “Lots of things. I’m thinking about how many bad decisions I’ve made and all the things I’ve screwed up in the past couple of years.”

Without hesitation, she agreed with him. “That would be a lot…”

More than you know, he thought. “I’m sorry for it all.”

“Want to talk about it?” she offered, although if she was honest, it was one of the last things she wanted to do. She did not want to relive the pain.

He tore his gaze away from the beauty that is nature and turned to face her. He gave a small and defeated smile. “I’d rather not. I don’t want to fight, I’m tired of it.”

“We’re not fighting now,” she noted, slowly taking the few steps closer to him, breaking the distance.

John looked deep into her eyes, trying to read her but he couldn’t. He had not been able to read anyone else except for one other person. “Then let’s keep it that way,” he said simply.

They fell into a peaceful silence, Rebecca taking a seat on the bench and John leaning against a crate, the sound of soft waves crashing against the docks filling their ears.

“Why the pier?” she asked suddenly.

John heard her faintly but couldn’t make out the words. “Hmmm?”

“I’ve been trying to figure out what’s so special about this place? This is your favourite escape.” She placed both hands underneath her thighs on the bench, swaying her legs back and forth.

John shrugged. “It kind of just happened by accident. I came here one night and the most beautiful site I had ever seen was right there before me and I was hooked right then and there.”

He remembered taking a walk with Marlena one night when they were just friends and ending up here, the sun setting behind her, glowing in her blonde hair. It was a site for sore eyes and one that he would never forget. It was permanently ingrained in his mind. It was then that he realized that he was in love with her. He smiled at the memory.

“I’ve never really come here before,” she said, taking in the scenery that had captivated him. “The sunset glaring onto the calm water is beautiful.”

“So are you,” he said, changing the subject. He had to stop thinking of Marlena, of comparing things to Marlena, especially when he was with Rebecca.

Rebecca blushed and looked down at the ground. “Very smooth, John Black.”

Without any sort of transition, John moved on to another subject. Without hesitation he said,  “I hope you know how sorry I really am, honey.” He waited a few seconds for her to catch his eye. “I made a stupid mistake, but the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”

Rebecca took it all in; his tone, the look on his face, his posture. “I believe you…a little.”

Things were slowly looking up for them the past couple of weeks. It took a while for her anger towards him to simmer down, and still to this day it could creep back up occasionally, but their relationship was in better shape than it was. That wasn’t to say it was back to where it originally was, or if it could ever get back to that. Only time and effort would tell.

Smiling slyly, John looked at her from across the deck. “Enough to accept me as your date to that hospital benefit in a couple of weeks?”

Surprised, she stood up from the bench and came to stand by one of the crates near him. “How do you know about that?”

“I saw the invite on your kitchen table the other day.” He left his spot and walked to her, putting his hands on her waist and pulling her closer, but not too close. “You wouldn’t think I’d let a beautiful woman like you go to a big event on her own, now would you?”

Rebecca crossed her arms, afraid to get too close. “I don’t know if I’m going. I just represent the hospital, I’m not a doctor or a nurse or some big donor.”

“No, but you are a hot shot lawyer who works her ass off for them. I think all that hard works deserves a reward.”

“You just want the free booze,” she joked, swatting him on the arm.

“That may be a reason, but it’s not the reason.” He was serious now. “What if I just want an excuse to have a night out with you? We haven’t had one of those in a long time and god knows it would do us some good.”

Unsure, she took a step back, feeling his hands slip from her waist. “Hmm…I don’t know. You see, my boyfriend and I have been going through a rough patch lately. I think I would need some convincing.” She put a finger to her chin, thoughtfully.

His right eyebrow arched instinctively. “What did you have in mind?” Surely she couldn’t be referring to sex; that had been off limits since she found out about the cheating.

She hid a smile as she shrugged sheepishly. “I don’t know…maybe I need a little bit of verbal convincing..followed by some more…non-verbal ways,” she finished, her voice low.

John was actually surprised at her offer. “I think I need another hint,” he played along, a grin on his face.

“He and I haven’t been intimate in over a month and I’m getting lonely.” She finished with a little pout.

He let out a sly smile. “Lonely huh?”

“Very. I miss his hands and his lips over my body,” a finger grazed over her slightly parted lips, her hand going down to caress her neck and chest area before stopping. “I miss the way he makes me feel.”

“Well,” he clapped his hands together enthusiastically. “I think I can help you with that ma’am.”

She put her hands on her hips and leaned all her weight onto her right leg. “How?”

“I know exactly what you need and I’m the man to give it to you.” John had to mask his excitement at the fact that the no sex ban had finally been lifted. It had been a very long five weeks. No Rebecca, no Marlena…All he had was his hand and that wasn’t giving him all that he needed.

“Are you sure?” she challenged. “Because if you’re unable to convince me then I’ll have to find another date to the benefit.”

John closed the distance between them once more. Leaning close to her ear he whispered, “I’ll keep on communicating verbally and non verbally until you are satisfied or..convinced.”

She raised an eyebrow and hummed.

John looked down while he grabbed her hand, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Let me take you back to your place and I’ll show you my persuasive ways.” He gripped her hand tighter and began guiding her away.

“Wait a minute.” She halted. “I think I’ll need a little preview before we go anywhere.”

John smiled. Challenge accepted. Gentle, warm hands cupped her cheeks and his thumbs brushed lightly across her lips, causing a sigh to escape against his swiping thumbs. His gaze alternated between her eyes and her parted lips before he slowly leaned in, his lips capturing hers.

Rebecca eagerly accepted, letting him guide her head as he sucked and licked her lips until she opened her mouth, their tongues meeting intensely.Her hands pull at his hair as she hungrily returned his kiss, battling his tongue. When he broke the kiss, she felt breathless and a little lightheaded.

It was the night of University Hospital’s benefit and countless individuals including doctors, nurses, lab technicians, volunteers, sponsors and donors, as well as board members were gathered at the Penthouse Grill. Among the guests was one of the hospital’s attorneys, Rebecca Morrison and John Black.

“It’s too bad Lexie had to work tonight,” Rebecca remarked. “You could have spent some time with Abe. Unfortunately you’re stuck with me now,” she said.

John leaned in and kissed her cheek, whispering in her ear. “There’s no place I’d rather be.” He lingered for a moment, breathing in the sweet smell of her perfume. “You look ravishing tonight.”

She was wearing an emerald green fold over, off the shoulder dress with elbow length sleeves. Her long curly hair was down and thrown behind her shoulders. “You look pretty hot yourself, Mr. Black,” she said, pressing her body further against his.

The sound of a throat clearing caused them to pull apart. Rebecca’s boss was standing beside them with a drink in his hand and the other in his pocket. “Thanks for coming tonight Rebecca. I’m glad you’re here representing the firm.” He stuck his hand out to John then. “Good to see you again, John.”

“Likewise, Tony.” Tony then dragged John into a Basic Black conversation, pitching the idea of Weaver Simmons law firm as the company’s new representation.

With every man in the room practically drooling, it was no surprise when Rebecca’s eyes landed on Marlena. She wore a simple black floor length sleeveless dress with a boat neck, diamond pendant earrings and a tennis bracelet on her left arm. Her hair was up in a loose, side-swept updo.

Fan-fucking-tastic, Rebecca thought when she saw her.

Marlena had her arm wrapped around another man’s arm and she smiled brightly in Rebecca’s direction. When her eyes caught Rebecca’s however, her smile disappeared and her eyes retreated just as fast. Rebecca knew what she was smiling at. She glanced to her side at John and looked down sadly.

“I see Marlena’s here,” she said with an even tone, jealousy seeping through.

John shrugged and gripped her hand tighter. “So she’s here. I’m only looking at you.” He played it off like it wasn’t affecting him but that was all an act. His heart beat a little faster, he was getting warmer, and he had to literally force himself not to look at her.

She looked to Tony from the side and lowered her voice. “I’m not comfortable with her being here.”

Tony noticed the exchange and decided it would be best to leave the couple alone. He excused himself and walked away.

John held out his hands defensively to Rebecca. “I didn’t know she would be here. She’s not on staff at this hospital.”

“How ever way she came, I don’t like it,” she whined.

“We can’t control the guest list. I know it makes you uneasy us being in the same room, but I’m not going anywhere near her and I’d appreciate if you didn’t either.” He gave her a knowing look to which Rebecca caught insult and rolled her eyes, leaving him alone while she walked away.

John shook his head softly, not believing her immaturity. Clearing his throat, he buried his hands in his pants pocket and nodded at Marlena from across the room.

She smiled a soft smile in return, quickly averting her attention back to one of the psychiatry attendings she had worked with during her first year.

***

John was standing with one of the board members making small talk when James walked over to him with Marlena on his arm. She was unaware of where they were headed until it was too late.

“Hi, I’m Doctor James Chandler, I’m a surgical resident for the hospital.” James extended his arm to John with a sly smile.

John shook his hand quickly. “John Black, I am not a doctor.” He then looked at Marlena and raised a suspicious eyebrow.

Marlena stood between the two men rather uncomfortably and unsure of what James was thinking. “James, what are you doing?”

He winked at her before saying, “Just getting acquainted with this man.”

“I know that you two already know each other.” She rolled her eyes. “I know that John provided you with personal information about me.” She was really touched when she found out about what John did, but now she was annoyed at James for playing games.

James blushed instantly, embarrassed. “Yes,” he nodded, looking at the ground. “John was nice enough to share some things with me.” He looked up at John. “Thanks again.”

John shifted his eyes from James to Marlena. “Just wanted to make sure she was happy.”

The man John had been talking with cleared his throat awkwardly and slipped away without saying a word.

“Where do I donate?” John asked, trying to alleviate the tension.

“Actually they’re going to be auctioning off dances at some point during the night, I’m sure you could put your money to good use there,” James said.

John had to hold back his laughter at the thought of Rebecca’s jealousy if he were to participate in that auction. “I’d prefer just to donate. I don’t need anything in return.”

“I understand you man. We’ve got all the women we need tonight as our dates don’t we?” He looked at Marlena appreciatively. “However, I know for a fact that you’d have men fighting for the chance to dance with you if you were being auctioned off.”

Marlena’s smile faded into a straight line. “I’m not a prize to be won.”

“It’s a hell of a prize,” John said while looking her over. “You’d also bring in the big bucks.”

She didn’t look impressed. “I’m good,” she said dismissively.

“Well auction or not, I hope you’re planning on saving a dance for me tonight,” said James just as Rebecca approached.

She took quick strides across the room when she spotted John and Marlena together. Possessively, she took John’s hand in hers and gave Marlena a smug look. “Looks like I came just in time. Wouldn’t want you to steal my man again, Marlena.”

John tensed up, whispering, “Honey, not tonight.”

I didn’t steal him. He came running, Marlena thought, but didn’t dare to voice it.

Oblivious to the real situation James chimed in. “I know what you mean, she’s a bombshell.” He smiled and took a small drink of his champagne before continuing. “I’m sure just about every man in this room would love to have Marlena on their arm tonight, but that honor falls on me and I am counting my lucky stars.”

Rebecca rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, annoyed beyond measure. “Careful, she likes to wander where she doesn’t belong.”

“That’s enough,” John sighed, giving Marlena a quick apologetic look.

Not noticing the tension in the air, a young photographer happily butted in and asked for a picture of the group. Clueless, James was happy to oblige while the other three reluctantly stood and put on smiling faces.

John and Marlena stood in the middle, with their dates on their sides. Somehow John and Marlena naturally gravitated towards the other, slightly turned in towards each other, John’s hand visible on Marlena’s waist while Rebecca held on to the inside of his left arm.

The photographer took a couple shots before pulling the camera away from his face to inspect his work. “Perfect,” he smiled. “These are great pictures. Enjoy your night.” He walked off, snapping individual and group pictures of the others guests.

“Well we are going to go,” John announced, putting a hand to Rebecca’s lower back and guiding her away.

“They came up to me, not the other way around.” He said seriously before she could say anything. He hated having to explain every detail to her but I guess it came as a price of infidelity. If only she knew the whole truth…She was hurt enough just thinking it only happened one time. He pushed the thought out of this head.

“Let’s dance.” She surprised him. It was like she pushed it aside; clean slate. She smiled lovingly at him as she wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned into him.

He didn’t know what brought on her response but he would take it. “I couldn’t think of a better idea.”

He led them to the dance floor where other couples were swaying to some soft jazz music. Wrapping his hands around her waist, John pulled her body against his and started swaying slowly around the floor. They danced in silence at the beginning, staring into the other’s eyes. John dared not to look away for he knew his eyes would instinctively search for Marlena.

“I love you,” she whispered, pulling his face down for a lasting kiss.

He smiled softly and replied, “Me too,” finishing with a chaste kiss on her lips. When the song ended, they walked hand in hand towards a couple men who were enjoying some drinks and a conversation.

Rebecca introduced one of the men as the head of PR for the hospital, and the other as a board member. They quickly talked business before they started talking about some publicity plans they ha and that’s when John’s attention started to waver.

When she looked to John, she noticed that he was no longer paying attention to the group conversation. She could see the sparkle in his eyes, and when she followed his eyes she noticed they had drifted to Marlena. She had to swallow the lump in her throat and fake a laugh when heard the others in order not to break.

The laughter must have pulled at John’s attention because he joined in shortly after, taking Rebecca’s hand in his and giving it a slight squeeze. He saw the somber look in her eyes when she looked up at him, but he played it off, planting a kiss to her forehead.

“I guess you’re keeping the law firm pretty busy,” he stated, pulling Rebecca closer to him by the waist.

Both men laughed. “You could say that. We’re hoping to keep utilizing them for deals and PR related things and not for any suits however,” the middle-aged board member joked.

One of the things that John hated most was pretending to be interested in a conversation that he was not part of or that had nothing to do with him, so when he saw Tom standing alone by the entrance of the restaurant, he jumped at the chance to escape. He cleared his throat and interrupted. “Excuse me, I see Tom Horton over there.” He pointed across the room. “I’m gonna go say hello.” He placed a small kiss to Rebecca’s cheek and wandered off in the opposite direction.

Tom gave a big smile as he watched John approach, glad to see a friend. “John, my boy!” he exclaimed, giving him a big hug.

“How’s it going, Dr. Horton?”

Tom pointed towards the bar and they began walking in that direction. “You don’t know how relieved I am to be talking to you.” He said cheerfully. “You see, Alice disappeared with another volunteer and although I love my job, and I love my employees, but there’s only so much small talk I can do,” he laughed. “It’s great to see a friend.”

“Well the feeling is definitely mutual,” John said, clapping a hand to Tom’s shoulder. The men arrived to the bar and ordered their drinks, moving to stand off to the corner.

“Still doing those poetry readings?” John asked. He remembered going to one of his readings once with Bo and Hope. Tom was dressed up in disguise and gave a beautiful delivery of an even more beautiful poem.

“Absolutely! Alice may think the disguise is silly but I know she loves Norm de Plume,” he winked.  

John laughed, always entertained by the older doctor. “The costume makes the whole reading even greater.”

Tom caught John’s wandering eyes and quickly took notice of the object that captivated his attention. “Ahhh,” he exclaimed, finally understanding. “You know son, from the moment I first laid eyes on Alice I knew she was the one for me. Of course it wasn’t always easy, but with a little bit of hard work and never giving up we made it through those tough times.”

“That’s wonderful. I hope to be as lucky as you and Alice some day.” He notice Rebecca looking at him from across the room and he flashed a loving smile and a wink her way.

“Luck has nothing to do with it,” Tom insisted. “I love her. It’s as simple as that; nothing else matters. There’s nothing more important than my love for her. I wasn’t always sure of everything, but one thing I always knew without a doubt is that girl is the love of my life and there’s nothing more important than that. You don’t give up on the one you love. She’s the one I want to keep dancing with for the rest of my life.”

John took it all in, nodding as he processed. “That’s some really great advice.” He smiled affectionately. “You and Alice are an inspiration to us all.”

Tom gave a knowing look. “Then don’t you think it’s time you take that inspiration and do something with it?”

“Excuse me, Dr. Horton, but I don’t understand.”

“You still love Marlena don’t you?” Tom had a feeling he never got over his old flame.

He half smiled, burying his hands in his pockets. “Loved,” he stated simply. His eyes then caught site of Marlena who was walking away from the party.

Looking over his shoulder, Tom knew exactly what had caught his eye. “Your eyes tell a different story, son.”

John was quiet for a moment, his eyes gazing to the ground. “I’ve got to get back to Rebecca,” he said after a moment. He shook Tom’s hand and excused himself, looking around methodically, and disappearing in the direction he saw Marlena go a few minutes before.

He found her in the coat closet. She had her eyes on her phone, unaware of his presence.

She startled when he closed the door shut. “Oh John!” She placed a hand on her chest, feeling her heart beat fast at the scare.

“I’m sorry,” he replied, looking down at the floor. “I didn’t mean to make you jump.”

Marlena waved her phone in the air in explanation. “I was a million miles away, I thought I was alone.”

“Speaking of being alone…I’m surprised to see you here, with the good doctor no less.”

Her face dropped. “Excuse me?”

“Didn’t you two break up?” he asked, a hint of satisfaction laced in his words.

Marlena opened her mouth to speak but shut it just as quickly. She looked at him quizzically for a second. “If you must know, yes, we did. But we are remaining friends.”

“Friends with benefits?”

“John!” She dropped her hands to her sides, shocked by his nerve.

He arched an eyebrow. “Am I wrong? He wants you Marlena. Men will take you in any way they can.” A hint of possessiveness could almost be detected in his tone.

“He’s not you!” she said, voice raised defensively. There was a moment of silence as they looked at each other. “He’s not you,” she said, this time in a sad and defeated tone.

The door squeaked open suddenly. When they both turned around they saw Rebecca standing in the doorway. “I should have known you’d be with her.”

John found her in the living room, holding onto a picture frame, tracing the border with a thin finger. She didn’t say anything when he arrived, she did not even look up. They were silent for a long time, Rebecca looking at the past; John observing her actions. Suddenly, without looking up from the picture in her hands, Rebecca spoke in the softest tone. “This is the thing I like about photographs. They’re proof that once, even if just for a heartbeat, everything was perfect.”

He walked the short distance to her and put his hands on her shoulders, looking at the picture she held dearly. It was of them last summer when they spent the day sailing. “That really was a perfect day, wasn’t it?”

“I want this back,” she said sadly, hugging the picture to her chest and leaning into his embrace.

John nodded softly, also wanting to go back to the days when he was still in love with Rebecca and he hadn’t yet made a mess of their lives or caused her any pain. “You may not believe me when I say this, but I truly am sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you. It’s the last thing I ever I wanted to do.”

A chill went up her spine, causing her to shiver and pull away from John. “You shouldn’t have lied then,” she raised her voice, her calm and collected behaviour now gone. She not so delicately placed the picture frame back on the shelf in front of her and went to sit on the couch in the corner of the room.

“I know, and I hated doing it.” John thought about going to sit next to her but he hesitated, deciding to stay where he stood. “But I knew I would hate seeing the hurt and the pain on your face more.”

She looked at him incredulously, not believing that such an explanation could even come from his mouth. Grabbing the newspaper from the coffee table, she threw it at him. “You made a fool out of me.”

“No, never.” He bent down to pick up the paper. Spotting the headline, John knew now why she had been ignoring his calls and his texts all morning. It explained her broken and hollow mood. His eyes shifted from the paper to Rebecca and back to the paper again.

On the front page of the newspaper the headline read: Basic Black’s Owner and CEO John Black with girlfriend.Underneath there was a picture of John and Marlena from last night’s hospital benefit. The photographer had snapped it when he and Rebecca, and James and Marlena were together. They must have cropped the picture, taken out Rebecca and James and kept just John and Marlena, making this headline.  

Holding it up in his hand, John shook his head adamantly. “Honey, this is –”

Rebecca didn’t want to hear it nor speak of it. “You told me you loved me and then proceeded to go behind my back and sleep with Mar–” she stopped suddenly and pressed her lips together, closing her eyes, and shaking her head. “I can’t even say her name…” She opened her eyes again and looked directly at him, releasing a deep breath before she continued on. “You slept with her because you were looking for something that I couldn’t give to you. She filled something within you that I couldn’t.”

“Baby,” he said painfully, coming to sit on the coffee table across from her. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

When John placed a hand over one of hers, she abruptly pulled it away like he had burnt her. “I stayed with you after I found out that you cheated on me.” She looked up and shook her head, taking a moment. “If it would have been anyone besides her I may have been able to get passed it but you didn’t have sex with just anyone.”

“Honey, stop,” John said, wanting her to stop putting herself through this but Rebecca ignored him.

“You had sex with her, with someone you were madly in love with…I’ve heard stories; I know how close and in love you were and how everyone thought you were soulmates.”

John sighed then and raised his voice. “Dammit Rebecca, it’s like you’re trying to make yourself hurt even more.”

She gave him a defiant look and moved away from him, further down the couch, bringing her knees up to her chest. “I kept telling myself that you broke up with her for a reason and that you were completely over her, that she was completely out of your heart. I believed it, but then this happens and all of a sudden I can’t stop thinking and trying to figure out how all of this happened…and I finally understood it last night,” she finished in a low and sad voice.

John looked at her with a quizzical look.

“I want that ‘have you seen the way they look at each other’ kind of love. I can see the way her face lights up when she sees you. She thinks she’s good at hiding it but she isn’t,” she shrugged sadly, pausing before she continued. “Neither are you…”

John was silent and averted his eyes, tired of all the lies and he honestly did not know what to say.

Rebecca looked at him quietly for a moment, trying to find out how it all went wrong. “You love her don’t you?” she asked sadly.

John’s eyes quickly found hers again, thinking about her question for a moment, unsure. What he felt for Marlena was a strong physical attraction, he cared about her and he was very sorry for the pain her caused her. They also shared a bond, probably due to their long history, and he was fairly certain that would never leave, but there was nothing more. “Why do you say that?”

Rebecca gave a sad smile and a shrug of the shoulder once again. “It’s the way you look at her. Every girl dreams of being looked at like the way you look at her. I just wish you’d look at me that way.”

He offered her a sad smile and averted his eyes once again. What do you say when you’re confronted with the truth and there’s no way to deny it?

“How do you know when it’s over?” she asked sadly, fidgeting with a thread on the throw blanket spread across the back of the couch.

“I guess when you feel the need to ask,” John said regretfully, shrugging his shoulders.

“But I…I don’t want it to be over.”

John moved from the coffee table to the seat beside her. He placed a hand on her bent knee then, tapping softly but reassuringly. “I can’t give you what you want,” he said passionately. “You deserve so much more than what I can give you.”

Rebecca tightened her hold on her legs then tilted her head upwards to stop the tears from flowing down her pale face and she let out a quiet, sad laugh. “Don’t you understand? I don’t want anything more than you. I’ve never wanted anything else.”

“A relationship can’t develop unless both are trying.” He shrugged sadly once more, eyes down to the floor.

“And you clearly aren’t trying anymore,” Rebecca finished the sentence for him, pursing her lips and nodding her head when all she wanted to do was sob.

If he could un-see the hurt in her eyes, he would do it in a heartbeat. John took a moment before telling her the truth. “You deserve the love you keep trying to give to me.”

“Why can’t I be enough?” she pleaded, slapping her hand to her chest.

Her expression sliced through him. He never meant to hurt her. John looked at her with the most sincere expression. “You are enough,” he said in an apologetic tone. “I know that one day you’ll find someone and you will be more than enough for him. Leave your life open for a love that you deserve. I promise you, it’s out there.”

“I thought that person was you,” she said in a voice just above a whisper, looking at her hands down between her chest and her legs.

What do you say when you have nothing left to say? Do you smile or nod, hopefully transferring your thoughts and emotions through it? Do you shake your head and try to say the kind thing or do you leave? When you want to find a reason to stay, do you prolong the conversation, prolong the inevitable goodbye?

John turned and placed a hand on the back of the couch, facing her. “I just wasn’t the right guy for you,” he said apologetically. He waited until he caught her eye to go on. “You deserve better than me and you will find him. He’ll make you happier than I ever could.”

Tears flowed down her cheeks freely, last night’s makeup leaving black streaks. “So this is it then,” she stated, her voice hoarse from the sob she was trying so hard to swallow.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered against her forehead, placing a gentle kiss and standing to his full height again. He walked to the door, turning around to give her one last look. “Goodbye, Rebecca,” and with that, John closed the door behind him, walking towards an uncertain future.  

As humans we often tend to take the easy way out. We run away. We escape. We leave everything behind. It all seems as simple as that. Our problems don’t exist in this new place that we’ve arrived at. Out of sight, out of mind. We have new things to focus on. We thrive.

That was exactly the case for John. He once again left Salem for Chicago over two months ago. Broke up with Rebecca and packed his bags and was on his way out of town the very next morning. He threw himself into work and as a result, things were better than ever at Basic Black.

His personal life, however, was almost non-existent. He left Salem to be away from Rebecca, not wanting to deal with the drama of the breakup. He had not spoken to her since that day; in fact, he had not spoken much to anyone since he left. The occasional conversation with his parents or texts with Bo was all he had. The rest of his time was monopolized by work.

John pushed away from his desk, his eyes burning from looking at his computer screen for so long. He stood up to stretch, looking out of his window. It was beautiful out; so sunny and warm with a light breeze. It was supposed to be the same through the weekend.

“It’s the perfect weather for a road trip,” he spoke to himself, catching an idea. “Hey Amelia, reschedule today’s interview for sometime next week,” he spoke over the intercom.

He was set to interview a Harvard alum to work under him to manage the Chicago branch when he returned home to Salem. He had already interviewed two men but those didn’t pan out, and he wasn’t cutting to the chase to interview any more.

“The interview has been rescheduled for Tuesday afternoon,” his secretary, Amelia, said over the speaker several minutes later.

He had already rescheduled this interview twice before because to be fair, John didn’t know when he would be going back to Salem so it’s not like there was any rush in finding a manager. This was now the third time rescheduling with this potential employee, but nevertheless she persisted. It showed John that she was no quitter and she would fight until she got what she wanted.

It reminded him of someone else he knew. He quickly took hold of his phone and sent the text without giving it a second thought.

John: Only in town for the night. Meet at pier?

It took less than two minutes for the reply to come in.

Marlena: No thanks. I’m no longer sleeping with men who have girlfriends.

John: Rebecca and I broke up.

He waited for her reply but it never came. He went back to work, giving her more time, but finally a half hour later he sent another text her way.

John: Will you meet me at 8pm?

Grabbing his suit jacket and his briefcase John stepped out of his office, going straight to his secretary’s desk down the hall. “I’ve done enough work for the next three weeks,” he joked, “so I’ll be heading out early. I’ll see you on Monday.”

Amelia smiled up at him, brushing her hair out of her face. She noticed it was barely 1 o’clock. “Well then, have yourself a wonderful weekend.”

***

He stood on the pier, hands buried in his pockets, waiting. He didn’t expect her to show up since she never replied to his last texts but something told him he still had a chance considering she could never resist him.

He felt her before he even heard her. “I didn’t think you’d come.” John turned around and saw her. She wore a light summer dress that stopped just above the knees and a cardigan covering her shoulders. Her blonde curls were longer than the last time he saw her.

“I didn’t think I would either,” Marlena said, voice monotone. She stopped walking, still a little unsure.

John took the remaining steps to her. “Then why did you?”

Marlena took a moment to study his face. “I had to see for myself.”

“See what?”

She took two small steps and stood inches away from him, looking deep into his eyes. “When did you break up?”

“Over three weeks ago.”

“I don’t believe you.” She looked from his eyes to his lips and back up again, taking a step back and clearing her throat. “I would have heard about it. Hope would have told me.”

“Maybe Rebecca didn’t tell her.” He shrugged. “Maybe she’s laying low.”

“Let me see your phone.” She held out hand and waited.

John raised an eyebrow before he pulled it out of his pocket and placed it in her hand. “Why?”

“I want to see something.” She pressed on the home button and the screen lit up, a picture of a sunset at the pier was there instead of the picture of Rebecca that once took over the screen. She then swiped to unlock the phone and went to his messages. There was no conversation with Rebecca. She went to his contacts and found her name. It simply said Rebecca, whereas there used to be a heart emoji beside her name before.. “Okay…” She handed John his phone back. “But that doesn’t mean I’ll start sleeping with you again.”

“Found someone else?” a hint of jealousy was heard.

She shook her head. “I’m just tired of you toying with my emotions.”

“You know that was never my intention.” He reached out, putting his hands on her hips and pulling her closer to him.

Marlena rolled her eyes and sighed. “John…”

“You know I’ve never been able to resist this body of yours.” He looked her over appreciatively as he said this.

Marlena pushed him by the shoulder, not impressed. “Still…I can’t.” She gave him an apologetic look before turning around.

John pressed himself into her back, making her feel his semi-hard erection on her lower back. “I know you want to.” He then spun her around by the shoulders.

Marlena felt herself relax and her face broke out into a grin. She stepped closer to John, still smiling. He tensed slightly as she did. They were close enough he could reach out and touch the seemingly thin material of her dress. He could make out her perfume distinctively, as well as the fruity scent of her shampoo. All he could think about was pulling her against him and pinning her against the wall, taking her right there on the pier.

She went to speak again when he closed the remaining distance between them, crushing his lips against hers. He parted her lips quickly, forcing his tongue into her mouth, his hands sliding down her sides, resting on her hips. She moaned slightly as he did so, her hands immediately finding their way into his hair. He pushed her backwards a few remaining feet, pushing her roughly against the cold stone wall.

She moaned. He pushed harder, pinning her between the wall and his body. His hands roamed her body, frantically but gently, and she started to work on the long cascading row of buttons on his shirt. It hung off his shoulders as she ran her nails slowly down his chest, making him moan slightly. She smirked as she felt him getting harder against her thigh and she moved against him slightly, causing more friction, making him moan louder than before.

Her hands roamed over his chest she broke from their kiss, immediately kissing down his neck. She smirked as he groaned when she took his belt off and she bit hard down on his neck. He tightened his grip on her hips as she did so.

She teasingly undid his jeans and pushed them down as he reached up her dress, tugging on her panties. She closed her eyes as his hand slid over her clit slightly as he pulled them down. He smirked, helping her out of them and immediately started trailing his hand up her inner thigh.

He stopped mid-thigh and bit on her neck hard. She swallowed a moan and gripped his hand forcing its way up towards her dripping sex. He continued to bite on her neck as he slid two fingers into her folds, causing her to moan loudly and grip onto his shoulder for support. He moved his fingers hard and roughly, causing her to moan involuntarily with pleasure.

“Shhh.” He continued to move his fingers hard as she tried to silence her moans, every once in a while, rubbing his thumb over he swollen and aching clit. She drew in a sharp breath every time he did, trying to rub against his hand for more friction.

She trailed her hand to the waistband of his boxers and wasted no time pushing them down to his ankles and slowly started pumping his cock. She smirked as a low guttural moan issued from his mouth. She reclaimed his lips with hers and moved her hand faster as he plunged his fingers deeper into her.

“Oh, fuck..we don’t…ah! Have time for…this,” she whispered between moans as she felt her walls clench tightly around his fingers. He moved his fingers faster, causing her to moan and pump him faster.

“Come for me.” He knew she was close. Her legs were shaking, her breathing changed and she had a death grip on his shoulders. He rubbed his thumb roughly over her extremely swollen clit and watched as she came undone.

She arched her back as she came hard, her hand tugging on his hair slightly and moaning his name over and over again.

John immediately kissed her again, sliding his tongue into her mouth. Reaching down, he hiked the bottom of her dress up and pushed her harder against the wall. Quickly, he shoved his already aching cock into her dripping core.

“Fuck yes!” she moaned, wrapping her legs around his waist as he thrust into her. She arched her back and met his thrusts in rhythm, both of their breathing picking up heavily.

John continued thrusting into her, gripping her hips hard and plunging into her as deep as he could. He moaned and pulled almost completely out before plunging back into her, making her bite back a scream. “G-God, Marlena, you’re so… fucking tight,” he groaned as he slammed into her.

Marlena gripped his hair tightly as she felt his pounding member repeatedly slam into her. She was aching with need and high on ecstasy. With every thrust, it was getting harder to keep her moans low and quiet. She closed her eyes and reveled in the pleasure as he thrust.

The harder he was, the more pleasure she felt. The pain in her back was adding to the pleasure and she grinded her hips on his as much as possible. She leaned her head to his neck and bit roughly, making him growl. He thrust into her harder and faster than before, causing her back to slide up the stone wall slightly on every thrust.

“Mmm, yes! Fuck, don’t stop,” she almost screamed. He leaned in and covered her mouth with his for fear that she was being too loud. She bit down on his bottom lip hard, moaning uncontrollably as she felt her walls tighten around him.

She felt herself spasm around him as she hit the peak of her climax and she moaned his name against his lips. Kissing her harder, he climaxed hard into her, shooting his seed deep inside her. He threw his head back in pleasure and moaned. Once each of them was down from their highs, he slowly pulled out of her and stood her back on her feet. They felt like jelly.

“You know, I’ve always liked how vocal you are during sex,” he smirked, buttoning up his jeans.

“Yeah, well how many times do you get fucked against a wall by a man who is the best sex you’ve ever had?” she smirked back.

He raised a brow at her, but didn’t ask further questions. “Well, how about you keep the best sex you’ve ever had a secret from Rebecca? I don’t want her to know, she’s been hurt enough.”

“I only have one condition,” she said, suddenly becoming serious.

“What is it?” John asked curiously, buttoning up his shirt, leaving the top three undone.

“My only condition is that I get slammed up against the wall on regular basis by none other than you,” she smirked.

John pretended to think about it before grinning back at her. “I believe that can be rearranged. The Inn, next Saturday, same time. Don’t be late.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be early.” Marlena found her underwear on the ground, picked them up, and walked away without putting them back on. She winked over her shoulder at John before disappearing.

John woke up the next morning feeling really satisfied. It had been a long time since he’d had sex, let alone amazing sex. The only problem…the addiction was back in full force. Even though he had her last night, he still craved her.

It was a force stronger than anything else, he could not stay away from her even if he tried. In fact, he had tried; it didn’t work. He tried over and over again for several months until he finally thought Fuck it, I can’t help myself. And so he cheated on Rebecca. He went behind her back over and over again, crawling between Marlena’s legs and back to Rebecca like nothing happened. But it did happen, sometimes more than twice a week.

He explained it to Bo when he first went back to Chicago, finally letting his best friend in on what had been going on the past several months. Bo hadn’t been that surprised to hear the truth, he had seen glimpses and noticed a few coincidences. He said, If you can’t get her out of your head or out of your bed maybe that’s where she’s meant to be.

John contemplated it, thinking back to their relationship. The good times, the bad times, and everything in between…But he knew that all they did right was the sex, and that wasn’t enough to make a relationship work. He just wanted to take off her clothes and do what they did best, no reason to chase after the past. It was gone. All they had was the here and now, and right now all he wanted was Marlena.

Hopping out of bed, John jumped into the shower, letting the hot water relax his tense muscles. Flashes of Marlena right there in the shower plagued his mind. It was a massive and luxurious walk in shower with a tub inside and a built in seat in one of the corners of the shower. It had multiple showerheads with a rain showerhead in the middle. They had spent a lot of time in this shower.

Her tongue traced a line from the base of his dick to the tip slowly, causing John to close his eyes and groan, reaching a hand to the glass wall of the shower to brace himself. Marlena used her tongue to draw circles around the head over and over again. Her warm mouth felt so incredible he could barely contain himself. Her lips formed a tight grip around the head of his dick and she slowly sucked, moving her head back and forth, taking him deeper and deeper with each head nod. His other hand was tangled in her wet hair, guiding her head and causing her to take him even deeper and faster.

John blinked and the memory was gone as fast as it had arrived. He stood under the rain showerhead letting the warm water melt the stress away.

John slammed her hips against his, lifting her from the wall to have her ride him. He slid in and out of her faster and harder, surging in deeper and tougher with each thrust.

She let out an endless barrage of high-pitched screams, moaning his name into his ear as pleasure overtook her body, bringing her over the edge.

With her juices gushing over his length and her muscles milking him, John too succumbed, his cock twitching and pulsing, filling her depths with his seed. They clung to each other, still bucking their hips against the other slowly. “I love you,” they took turns whispering in the others mouth as their tongues came together, matching the soft rhythm of their hips. Soon, they slid down to the floor, Marlena leaning against the wall, nestled between his thighs.

John pushed away that memory.

Her hands were against the natural stone wall, supporting her weight while she bent forward, allowing John to fuck her as hard and as rough as he pleased. His hands latched onto her hips, gripping hard as he thrust inside of her. He watched as her head rolled downwards, and every time he hit her spot she would moan, pushing her ass back on him with the most incredible erotic friction as his balls slapped against her. She was so tight and warm and they fit perfectly, everything hitting the right spots, everything feeling amazing.

John blinked again, running frustrated hands over his face. What started out as a relaxing hot shower soon turned into a cold shower.

***

The persistent knocking and the ringing of the doorbell woke Marlena up. Looking at her phone, she noticed it was barely past 9 am. Grunting in frustration she sprung out of bed and went downstairs to get rid of the annoying individual who had woken her up on her day to sleep in. “John? What the hell are you doing here?”

She had a satin cami with matching shorts on, her hair was astray and she looked tired, but boy was she ever hot when she was angry.

“I just had to have you one last time before I left.” Without warning he reached out to take her face between his palms, his lips enveloping hers in a steamy kiss.

She moaned in surprise but quickly got caught up in the moment, not resisting when he began to walk them inside the penthouse, closing the door with the kick of his foot. Her hands were caressing his biceps as she leaned further into him, angling her neck back to give him even more access. Theirs tongues lapped against the other’s hungrily, greedily, never wanting to stop.

Grasping the hem of her camisole, John pulled it over her head, momentarily losing the press of her lips against his, but the feel of her bare skin beneath his masculine hands made it worth it. He pushed her up against the door, his lips seeking hers again for a hungry, desperate kiss.

Her left leg slid up and hooked around his waist, to which he responded by slipping one hand up the back of her thigh, inside her loose boy shorts and cupped her ass. He squeezed it hard and pulled her into him tightly, his erection pressing against her already wet center.

“Let’s go upstairs,” she breathed against his mouth. With a few more open mouthed kisses, Marlena skimmed her hands over his washboard abs underneath his black t-shirt, bringing it up and over his head. The feels of their naked chests rubbing together brought on even more heat, with Marlena’s erect nipples becoming even harder.

She sought his luscious lips again, never being about to get enough of his kisses. Their mouths fit together perfectly and they were in sync. It was with her best efforts that she was able to tear her mouth away and sidestepped towards the staircase. She looked at him over her shoulder, bending down to slowly remove her shorts and panties, giving him a lasting view of one of this favourite parts of her body. She kicked the garments away and began to walk up naked, the destination her bedroom, so that he could fuck her as hard and as wild as they both needed.

John groaned at the site of her perfectly plump ass as she walked up. The thought of all the things he wanted to do to that perfect ass made his cock twitch. In record time, John threw off his jeans and finished undressing himself and went after her. A few steps in he reached for her, holding her by the hips, his naked erection rubbing against her bare ass, and forced her to turn around.

He started kissing her, forcing her to lie down. Settling over her with his hands and knees supporting him on different steps, he slipped his right hand between their bodies until he found her clit and began massaging it vigorously, making Marlena shudder.

His lips broke away from Marlena’s, but her protest was cut short when she felt his lips move lower. Over her jaw and down her throat in slow, torturous kisses that made her thread her fingers through his hair.

John’s lips brushed over her collarbone and down to the valley between her breasts. Marlena panted, the pleasure surreal. He kissed the swell of her breasts as she pulled on his hair, and he rose to brush his lips back up again and down her shoulders.

He paused for a second, looking up at her. Eyes glazed over, lips swollen and red and slightly parted, cheeks flushed. She was gorgeous.

She gasped when his lips slowly made the descent over her breasts and settled over a nipple. The heat of his tongue flicking out shot a current right through her and instinctively she arched her back off the stairs. Her hands ran over the powerful muscles of his back, the soft feel of his skin felt incredible under her hot fingers.

He began to move his mouth south and Marlena felt her breath quicken again. The feel of his mouth on her belly made her lose all sense of thought. She looked down and met his eyes, her chest rising and sinking fast. He looked up to meet her eyes and smirked.

Her back arched off the stairs as she felt the first flick of his tongue over the cleft between her thighs. “John,” she gasped. Her aching fingers instinctively grasped John’s hair. It urged him on, the desire in her voice apparent and her fingers in his hair insistent.

He sucked and teased, drawing back so that Marlena could feel the heat of his breath against her wet lips and then settling over her again. She moaned, writhing beneath him.

John licked a trail up her pussy, tasting her sweet juices. He heard her moan, and felt her hands tangling in his hair, pulling his face closer to her. He went on to suck her clit, and Marlena let out a sharp gasp of pleasure.

He smiled inwardly at the effect that he had on her, pushing two fingers into her tight hole, causing her to gasp in pleasure. With the incredible sensation of his fingers pumping in and out of her as well as his lapping tongue and the suction on her clit, her juices started to run down his fingers, mixing with his saliva as he licked and sucked at her bundle of nerves. Sucking harder and pumping faster, her walls began to tighten around John’s fingers.

“Come for me, baby! Come for me.” The term of endearment came so naturally that it was lost on the both of them.

He fastened his pace and added one more finger into her, her moans filling the apartment. With one final pump and a suck to her clit, she orgasmed, covering his mouth with her juices, which he sucked clean.

He trailed his lips up her body and settled himself at her entrance, arms resting on either side of her head for balance. He kissed along her neck and jawline, before reaching her mouth. When he did, he instantly plunged his tongue into her mouth and entered her hard and fast, not giving her time to recover from her orgasm.

Her contracting muscles clamping onto him made him want to come right then and there. God, did he ever love having sex with her. It was the most incredible sex.

“Oh John!!” she moaned loudly, removing her mouth from his and kissing down his neck, and then sucking and biting at his collarbone.

Marlena gasped, and before she could get adjusted to the size he pulled out, only leaving in the tip before he slammed fully into her again. She was now panting and moaning, and as he continuously slammed into her, John brought one hand around to her breast, playing with a hard nipple, giving it tweaks and pinches. His other hand smacked her on the ass every time he pulled out, right before he slammed back into her.

“Oh…oh god…YES!” Marlena shouted as John quickened his pace, and slapped her ass with more force.

“Does the doctor make you scream like that?” he breathed against her neck, quickening his thrusts even more.

The speed, the depth, and the friction caused her mind to go to mush, unable to form coherent words. Was he jealous? She cried out in pleasure when he bit her neck at the same time that he hit her g-spot. No one had ever made her feel the way that he does, both in and out of bed.

Marlena gasped, tightening her grip on the back of his neck, capturing his lips in a searing kiss. John slowed his thrusts, trying to rein in his control or it would be over in moments.

“Feels so fucking good,” he said, out of breath, so hard for her that he was aching, and she moaned in time with his thrusts, wholeheartedly agreeing with his sentiments.

“I’m so close,” she panted, wincing as her back rubbed over the edge of the stairs. She adjusted her feet on the steps, giving herself more leverage.

John stared at her splayed before him, a slight sheen of sweat on her chest, and tried to memorize every single detail.

The phone began to buzz and ring on the desk, startling them, and Marlena laughed breathlessly. “Fuck,” she whispered slamming her head back against one of the steps.

“Ignore it.” John said, sucking the valley between her breasts, biting and licking. Marlena did as he said, but a few minutes later it rang again.

John looked at her, and then began to thrust harder again, and she felt her walls tighten around his thick length, the pleasure becoming almost painful. She squeezed her eyes shut, putting the ringing out of her mind, because John was right there, giving her exactly what she wanted; what they both wanted.

The ringing finally stopped, and then started anew a few seconds later, breaking John’s concentration. He swore, just wanting to come inside her, to fuck her until she was screaming. “Doesn’t sound like they’re giving up,” John said breathlessly, giving up, panting and still hard inside her.

Marlena looked at him incredulously, gripping his biceps so he couldn’t move away from her. “Don’t you dare go get that phone.”

He looked down at her angry expression, wanting more than anything to turn it into orgasmic capitulation. It was most definitely his favourite look on Marlena’s face.

“I wouldn’t dare,” he said, looking at her with a trace of a smirk.

The ringing once again stopped, but this time the answering machine kicked in. “Marlena, it’s me Laura. I was hoping we could get together for breakfast but I guess you’re still sleeping. Call me.”

John couldn’t resist thrusting into her as Laura spoke, watching Marlena’s eyes go dark and glassy, her breathing turning hard and she dug her nails sharply into his arms. He rubbed her clit then and she whimpered.

“She’s getting something even better,” John grinned, closing his eyes for a moment, willing his control to stay in check.

He spread her legs wider apart on the step, allowing him to go deeper, all without slipping out of her. After, he put his arms around her back, lifting her to him and crushing their bodies together. He leaned down to kiss her and her slender arms curled involuntarily around his neck as he pushed inside her harder.

“Much better,” she moaned, lifting her hips to meet his.

His lips closed around her nipple and she grasped his hair, staring blindly at the white ceiling, feeling his cock slide inside her with deliberate strokes. She wanted to block out the world and be allowed to just stay like this. She yanked on his hair so she could kiss him again, meeting him thrust for thrust.

John smiled as she moaned, moving deeper inside her, feeling completely surrounded by her, relishing it. “What do you want?” he breathed, pushing her hair back from her face.

Marlena’s eyes were unfocused as she gazed at him, soft hands sliding over his skin as her hips met his in perfect time. She gripped his ass, guiding his rhythm. “I want…” She gasped as he hit her g-spot, her inner muscles clenching around him.

He kissed her, pulling her bottom lip between his teeth, feeling the pressure in his cock start to build. “Tell me.”

What did she want? She wanted to stay like this with him forever. She did not want this moment to end, because this way he wouldn’t leave her. He’d be with her.

She felt the pleasure begin to build in the pit of her stomach, each stroke setting every nerve on fire. Marlena wrapped herself around him tightly, wanting them to come at the same time, and he kissed her as they thrust against each other fiercely, his face tense as he tried to hold back his orgasm.

“I want you,” she said impulsively, and felt a sudden rush as pleasure flooded her body, white lights bursting behind her closed eyes, his moans echoing hers and filling her ears.

Marlena was breathing harshly, moaning and gasping, fingers leaving their mark on his back, toes curling as her orgasm approached.

He pushed her back down against the stairs with a breath-stealing kiss, driving his hard length inside her so that she gasped loudly and wrapped her arms around his neck. He slowly pulled all the way out of her hot center, and her whimper turned into a delicious moan when she felt the head of his cock nudge her apart again, her walls contracting around him tightly.

“Oh, that’sgood,” she breathed, licking her lips.

He smirked, repeating the measured stroke just to hear Marlena’s little sounds. She moaned her appreciation, unable to stop running her hands over him. He put his mouth to her ear, biting the lobe gently and began to thrust steadily. “Can’t wait to come inside you.”

“Yes…” she sighed, eyelids fluttering closed, “Yes, yes…”

With a hungry look in his eyes, John pushed her back against the stairs, then grabbing her ass and hoisting her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. Marlena attacked his lips with hers, forcing his mouth open and hungrily sucking on his tongue.

The intensity of the kiss left him wanting more, so he slammed her hips against his and he doubled the pace and aggression. The sounds of their lips lapping against the other, the sound of their bodies meeting, their shallow breathing and increasing moans filled the penthouse.

She opened her eyes, panting, sitting up on her elbows to watch his cock slide in and out of her and reveling in it at the same time. John was biting his lip and gazing down at her face with concentration, and then her orgasm hit her in strong, unrelenting waves. “Fuck!!” She yelled, clamping hard around him, and suddenly he was coming, his entire body tense as she felt his cock throb inside her rhythmically, the world splintering, erupting until all that existed was them and the completeness of the moment.

A minute later he collapsed half on top of her, half beside her, turning her head to his for a kiss. Marlena circled her arms around his neck, slipping a warm tongue in his mouth. Sometimes she thought that maybe this was her favourite part. Pulling back, she sighed contently.

They remained splayed along the stairs, exhausted, trying to regain normal breathing patterns for a few minutes until John crawled off of Marlena and climbing down the remaining stairs.

She too got up and followed him. “Where are you going?”

“I have to go back to Chicago.” He found his boxers and jeans, stepping into them and doing up the zipper and button.

“Oh…” Marlena picked up his t-shirt and handed it to him, her fingers tingling at the contact that was made when he reached for it. “Couldn’t you stay a little longer? I could make you breakfast before you hit the road.”

No. This was starting to feel too familiar. He had to get out of there, because he knew if he didn’t, he would stay and have sex with her all day long. “I’ve tasted your food. I think it’s safer if I grab something on the way,” he laughed nervously. “Besides, Laura wants to have breakfast with you.”

“Right,” she said, trying to mask her disappointment. “Well are we still on for next weekend?”

John looked her over, still standing naked before him, one hand on her hip. “Definitely.”

“You’re glowing this morning,” Laura complimented while giving Marlena a hug.

“Am I?” She blushed, pushing her hair behind her ears. “I guess I just had a good night’s sleep.”

Laura thought for a moment, looking her over. “No, that’s not it,” she decided.

Marlena laughed, unsure what to say. She averted her eyes, looking around the packed restaurant.

“You got laid didn’t you?” Laura asked with loud excitement.

Marlena jumped, one hand covering Laura’s mouth and the other wrapping around her shoulder. “Shhh,” she laughed, looking around at the other customers in line.

“I knew it! I have a gift,” she joked. “Are you and James back together?”

“James?” Marlena asked, surprised. It took her a moment to compose herself. She had not seen nor thought about James since the hospital benefit over two months ago. “No,” she let out a soft laugh.

“Then who?” Laura was eager.

“Miss Spencer, your table is ready,” the hostess announced, ready to guide her and Marlena to their table. She placed the menus in front of them and told them their waitress would be with them shortly.

Marlena picked up the menu, studying her options. It was now half past eleven, so she could pick between breakfast or lunch. Was she hungry for a crepe filled with custard and fresh fruits or was she hungry for a salad with grilled salmon?

“How are things between you and Bill?” Marlena asked, eyes never leaving the menu.

“So great,” Laura beamed, putting her menu down and placing her hands on the table. “I know he’s a little older than me but I think I’ve found the one.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Okay,” Laura giggled. “I don’t know.” She thought, eyes rolling up while trying to find the right words. “It kind of feels like the way it was for you and John.” Marlena’s eyes snapped up, attentive. “When you described how he made you feel, that’s how Bill makes me feel. He’s the person I always want to be around, it’s like I can never get enough of him. And it’s not just the sex; it’s just his presence. He calms me. He makes me feel like I’m home.”

“Wow.” Marlena flashed a genuine smile, but Laura could still see a hint of sadness hidden behind her hazel orbs.

Long after their orders had been taken and the food had arrived, the two friends were enjoying some psychiatry talk while enjoying their meals. “So, John and Rebecca broke up,” Marlena slid into the conversation casually between bites.

“Oh.” Laura swallowed her bite, and then realization hit her. “Oh?” she raised an eyebrow.

“John told me,” Marlena confirmed.

Laura nodded while taking it in, putting her fork down. “You’ve been talking to John again?” She flashed her a disappointed look, pushing her plate away and crossing her arms on the table.

Marlena looked at her defensively. “I have. Is that a problem?”

“Is that a problem? Marlena,” Laura sighed, “you have to let him go.”

“I’ve been trying!” She said rather loud in a frustrated voice. Once she realized her tone was inappropriate for the setting she looked around and lowered her voice. “I have been trying, and I was doing a good job of it if I do say so myself.”

Marlena thought of how she picked herself back up after falling deep after the breakup. She came up, put the pieces back together, she even started dating again and allowed herself to get close to someone. She had been trying and she would have continued to succeed had John not come back into her life last fall, and once again this weekend.

Laura put on a sincere smile and spoke comfortingly. “Just because someone is doing well it does not mean they are all better and they can give up the fight. Marlena, I don’t want to see you hurt again.”

Marlena took a drink from her mimosa, needing a moment. “I love you,” she smiled. “Thank you for always having my back and trying to take care of me when I don’t take care of myself.”

Laura smiled, extending a hand across the table to which Marlena reciprocated and squeezed. “Always.” Part of being Marlena’s best friend and always being there for her, helping and protecting is what brought on Laura’s idea. “How would you feel about me setting you up with someone? I’ve met some hot doctors at the hospital and Bill has a few charming friends.”

Marlena scoffed and shook her head. “Thanks, but no thanks. I think I’ll give dating a little break. I don’t want to get into something if I’m not into it and then end up hurting that person, like I did James.”

Laura thought about it, thinking it made sense. “I suppose that’s wise…How is James?”

Marlena shrugged, pushing the food around in her plate. “I’m not sure. I haven’t seen him since the benefit.” Although she agreed to still be friends, going to the hospital benefit as his date was not the best decision she had made. She had not made an effort to contact him since and neither did he. She assumed he had seen the picture and article about she and John in the newspaper and had been angry, or hurt, or maybe he understood that he didn’t have a chance with her.

“Does this have anything to do with John?” Laura asked, not beating around the bush.

Marlena set her eyes on Laura, not impressed. “No.”

In response to her attitude, Laura rolled her eyes and sighed. “So clearly you’ve been doing more than just talking to him.” Her arms were crossed and she leaned back in her chair, awaiting Marlena’s response, when a thought crossed her mind. “When I asked you earlier if you had sex…it was John wasn’t it?”

She waited for the people next to their table, who were gathering their things, to leave before she spoke. “Laura, I know you disapprove of what I’m doing but he’s not dating anyone anymore and neither am I, so it’s not as bad as it once was,” she tried to explain. “Look,” she took a breath, changing her tone; “I need you not to fight me on this. I need your support, I need your understanding, but more importantly I just need to know that I can talk to you about this without you judging me.”

She couldn’t talk to John about this and she couldn’t mention it to anyone because John didn’t want the word getting out and somehow reaching Rebecca. It made sense and she agreed not to tell anyone, but Laura was her best best friend and she was the exception. She needed to talk about it and Laura was the only one who could listen and help.

“I would never judge you, you know that.” Laura uncrossed her arms to reach across the table again, squeezing Marlena’s hand. She gave a loving smile before continuing. “I just don’t want you to get your heart broken again.”

Marlena’s lip curled in a sad smile. “My heart is already in pieces, it has never healed. It can’t be broken any more than it already is,” she shrugged her shoulders.

“You shouldn’t play games with your heart.”

“It’s just sex,” she dismissed.

Laura was quiet for a long moment, biting the inside of her cheek as she took it all in and thought about it. “And you’re okay with him just being your…” she paused, looking for the correct words, “fuck buddy?”

Marlena thought for a moment. Really, that’s what they were. They weren’t dating, they weren’t even friends anymore. They were just two people coming together for great sex. “I suppose I am.”

Laura furrowed her brow, leaning her chin on her left knuckle. “You know that’s not healthy, right? It’s not normal.”

Marlena let out a small scoff. “When it comes to John, nothing that I do, nothing that I feel is normal.”

“Just please promise me that you won’t get your hopes up. This does not mean you two will get back together.” Her eyebrow arched, hoping to god that Marlena wasn’t setting herself up for a big fall.

Marlena put on a strong attitude and a straight face. “I know that. He’s moved on and I know someday I will too. We’re just having fun.”

“I just worry,” she said truthfully. She knew Marlena too well. “You’re powerless when it comes to him.”

“I can’t help it,” she shrugged sheepishly. “There’s just something that compels me to him and I can’t even describe it.” She looked up, trying to find the right words. “Like I’ll be in a room and without even seeing him I know that he’s there. Or in a room with a thousand eyes, his are the ones I will catch immediately. And sometimes we’ll end up at the same place at the same time all by sheer luck.” Marlena threw her hands up in the air in defeat.

Laura listened like Marlena needed.

“I know him so well; in fact when he was dating Rebecca and we were sleeping together I was the only one he could open up to about his feelings. I was the only one who knew so I was the only one who could listen to him and understand. And he knows me too,” Marlena added, taking a breath. “He still remembers even the smallest detail about me. My favourite flower. How I take my coffee. Just random little things that amount to big things.”

Laura sat across the table from Marlena and nodded, knowing that this could not end well.

She waltzed into the Pub excited for the coffee she had been waiting for all morning. After an intense gym session she more than needed it. She was saying hello to a girl she knew on her way to the bar when she spotted John off to the side by the dartboard. He saw her too, but when his eyes landed on her they kept moving, unaffected, never stopping or even acknowledging her presence. It appeared as though he was flirting with a very tall and slender blonde. Marlena tried to pull her eyes away but she couldn’t, the jealousy creeping in and upsetting her.

She looked her over from afar; she wore denim capris with a short-sleeved ruched crop top, her hair was straight and almost reached her butt. Marlena felt like homeless person compared to her. She wore short black retro shorts with a plum coloured tank top and a lightweight white zip up hoodie, her hair was pulled into a messy bun with many loose tendrils coming from all over.

Marlena assumed he must have said something funny because the woman laughed and threw her head back exaggeratedly, her right hand touching John on the arm. John grinned, laughing along and that made Marlena sick to her stomach.

She couldn’t believe he was acting as if he hadn’t even noticed her and was fully flirting with another girl in front of her. Granted, they were both single adults and didn’t have any claim on the other, but Marlena was still more than a little jealous.

“Miss…Miss,” the teenaged waiter said loud enough to break through her concentration. He smiled at her politely and took her order. It wasn’t long before he came back with her drink ready to go. She softly and distractedly thanked the waiter as she took hold of her coffee and hurried out the door, taking a last look at John and that girl before she left the counter.

When she reached the parking lot, she dug her hand into the pocket of her hoodie and accidentally dropped her keys while pulling them out. “Damnit,” she cursed.

She saw him when she bent down to retrieve them but he beat her to it. Handing Marlena her keys, they both stood up and said nothing.

“I didn’t think you were still coming,” she finally said, eyes down as she fumbled with the sleeve on her coffee cup.

He raised an eyebrow, putting one hand in his pocket. “Why wouldn’t I? You’re not the only reason I come back to Salem.”

“That’s…” she stopped, closing her eyes momentarily to breathe. “That’s not what I was implying. I just…oh never mind.” She turned around to walk away but his voice stopped her.

John walked closer to her, lowering his tone of voice so no passerby could hear. “Do you really think I would drive all this way just for a booty call?” Marlena’s eyes widened, a little taken aback and hurt. “If that’s what I wanted then I could easily find someone in Chicago and save myself the trip back home. Hell, maybe that’s what I should have done this weekend instead, at least that way I would be getting laid.”

Angrily, Marlena pushed him away by the shoulders. “You’re angry with me because you can’t fuck me? If you need sex so bad why don’t you call up the girl you were flirting with in the Pub?”

John grinned and his right eyebrow gave a quick and short raise. “Are you jealous? Because you’re the one who cancelled on me, not the other way around.”

“I can’t control my period, John!”

John sighed and took a step back, crossing his arms. “Right.”

“You act like this is my fault. We’re not together anymore, you -“

John rolled his eyes, sarcastically saying, “with this arguing you’d think we were still dating.”

She looked at him with wide eyes, insult clearly written over her face. “Pardon me?”     

“We break up and almost two years later we’re still fighting. I can’t get away from it.” John let out a frustrated laugh and looked to the line of parked cars to his left. “Jesus Christ, you think when you break up with a person that your life will be better and you can leave all those problems behind, but apparently not in our case. I’m stuck with it.”

“Fuck you,” her voice was hoarse from all the pent up emotions she was keeping at bay. “Go ahead and screw any girl you want, it’s not like any of this meant anything anyways so go! Find someone who wont argue with you. Find yourself a perfect little Barbie who will do, say and agree with everything you do. What are you still doing here! You want me out of your life so bad, then why do you keep coming back? It’s too late for us.”

It was true. Sadly, sometimes it’s too late and that’s the thing about time, once it’s gone we cannot get it back. We only have the memories to live with. Either they’ll make you smile or they’ll haunt you. Most often they haunt you because you’re left wondering “what if?” or “I should have done this instead”; “I should not have said that”; “what was I thinking?”; “where did it all go wrong?”; “what if I would have done it differently?”

You can’t know the answer to those questions. It’s too late now. All you can do is move forward and learn from your past. Easier said than done, however, as Marlena stood there looking at John, hoping to find the answer to those questions in his eyes, but there was nothing.

****

It was now two weeks later, and John had once again come home for the weekend, Marlena and her body on his mind. It had been over three weeks since he’d last had sex and the built up tension was getting to him. He picked up his cellphone and dialed, surprised when she answered right away.

“Meet me at the inn tonight,” he said into the phone, grabbing some water and ice from the bar in his basement and walking towards his movie room.

Marlena sat behind her desk, momentarily quiet. “Oh so we’re still doing this?” she asked, sounding distant.

“Huh?” He opened the French doors and went to sit on the leather couch at the back of the room, one foot going up on the coffee table.

Marlena played with a pen, clicking it on and off constantly. “Last time I saw you we got into an argument and we haven’t spoken since,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Well we’re talking now,” he replied with no emotion. “So tonight at 7?”

There was a long pause. Marlena’s lips were pressed together while she thought it out. “Okay,” she finally decided with a sigh. It was funny that she thought she had an actually say in the matter when, in fact, she really didn’t. She was powerless when it came to him. He was an addiction. She was addicted to John Black and she would always give in.

The same was true for John. They were addicted to each other. Some would say they were destined to be together; that no matter what, some way they would find their way back together, no matter how far out of reach they were. They just didn’t know it yet.

“Okay,” John repeated, ending the call immediately.

He swallowed a sip of the cold water and fumbled with his phone for a while, texting back and forth with Abe. Catching up and making plans. Finally, when the conversation died down, John flipped through the channels impatiently, nothing interesting him more than the thoughts in his mind. Frustrated, he threw the remote control to the far end of the couch and dropped his head back, running his fingers over his face. He looked at his watch and groaned when he noticed the time.

He knew Marlena would still be at work for a few more hours and that annoyed him. He chided himself for leaving Chicago so early, leaving him to wait impatiently and for the time to drag on.

Picking up his phone, he went over some emails. Maybe work would help distract him. He replied to a few emails, others he mentally made a note to get to later. He looked at the time again; barely twenty minutes had passed. He sighed in frustration, his fingers drumming against his jean clad thigh.

Before he knew it, he was running up the stairs taking two at a time, running through the house and out the door. Thanks to the navigation system in his SUV, John soon found himself outside Marlena’s new office building.

He looked around, trying to imagine her working here. It was a medical office building, ranging from dentistry, to dermatology, to ophthalmology, and even housing a walk-in clinic. You name it, there was an office for it. It was strange to think of Marlena leaving the hospital for some place like this.

He walked inside and spotted a directory board. Dr. Bridget Winthrop – Psychiatry. Marlena’s name was not on the board, making him think that he had the wrong address, but it dawned on him that Marlena was only a resident and he remembered her saying she worked under another doctor. He followed the signs to Dr. Winthrop’s practice. Once on the correct floor he once again followed the signs until he came to an outer office waiting room. He looked around, taking in his surroundings.

“Can I help you?” John heard a soft voice say. The woman behind the desk had fair skin and light brown hair, her eyes were inquisitive but she had on a welcoming smile. John assumed she was in her early twenties.

“I’m here to see Dr. Evans,” he said, clearing his throat.

Cynthia looked through both the computer and paper schedule. “Do you have an appointment?” she asked without looking up.

“Actually I don’t, I was hoping she would have a few minutes for an emergency session.”

Cynthia smiled and held up a finger before reaching for the phone. “What’s your name?”

“Uh..Mr. Brown.” He remembered the alias she had used for him when he called her office out of the blue months before.

She nodded and pressed a button, waiting for Marlena to pick up. “Dr. Evans, I have a Mr. Brown here who is hoping for a few minutes of your time. He doesn’t have an appointment set up but he says it’s urgent…Yes…Okay, I will…You’re welcome.” Cynthia hung up the phone and gestured with her hand to the door to her right. “Dr. Evans will see you now.”

John smiled joyfully. “Thank you.” He knocked softly on the oak door before pushing it open and stepping inside. Marlena was leaning over her desk, her back to him.

“Hi, sorry. I’ll be right with you,” she said over her shoulder. “I’m just organizing a little. There’s too much paperwork and files.”

John leaned his back against the closed door and crossed his arms, admiring her shape. The dress she wore fit her like a glove, hugging her curves perfectly, allowing him a delicious view of her backside. Her long fair legs looked sexy in her black heels. A smirk spread across his face as he admired her and his body began to react automatically. He just wanted to bend her over that desk and have his way with her.

When she turned around, the smile she had on disappeared. Her face became serious as she looked at him from across the room. He was still leaning against the door with his arms crossed, a smirk on his lips and lust in his eyes. “John?”

“Is this something you wear to work everyday?” he asked, licking his lips. She was wearing a knee length striped black sheath dress with a bow tied around the waist. “You’re looking very sexy.”

Marlena looked down. Her dress wasn’t revealing at all, it had an O neckline and short sleeves and it reached down to her knees. “What are you doing in my office?”

He shrugged nonchalantly, taking a few steps forward to stand before the sofa. “Like your secretary said, it’s an emergency.”

She looked at him with a blank stare. “What is?”

He looked the sofa over before switching to look at her. “I just couldn’t wait until 7.” Next he took the last remaining strides to her and pulled her by the waist, his lips crashing onto hers in a steamy kiss.

The kiss was anything but slow. This kiss was filled with desperation and hunger. His hands held on to each side of her face, bringing her closer into him. He kissed her hard, so hard that she was certain her lips would bruise. It took her breath away, literally, and she had to pull her lips away from his, much to both of their dismay.

She let out a moan and a breathless giggle when she pulled away. “John, we can’t,” she tried to sound serious. “Not here. Not now.”

“Yes.” He pecked her lips softly. “Right here. Right now.” His right hand skimmed down her side, pulling the hem of her dress up before he let his hand disappear between her legs.

Her breath hitched when his fingers slipped inside her panties and made contact with her swollen and moist lips. John watched intently her reaction as his fingers smoothed over her folds slowly, making her wetter by the second. Her eyes closed in ecstasy and her lips parted slightly in an “O” shape, her breathing getting shallow. When his fingers pried her lips apart, allowing a finger to slip into her tight and warm canal Marlena’s head fell back slightly, a whispered “ohhh” escaping her lips.

John added a second finger and thrust slowly in and out, his lips skimming her long slender neck. With his right hand busy bringing her pleasure, his left hand traveled behind her and gripped her ass tightly, pulling her body flush against his.

“John,” Marlena whimpered as his fingers began curling upwards, applying pressure to her walls.

He smiled as he guided her back a few steps until the backs of her thighs collided with her desk. Next he withdrew his hand from inside of her much to her chagrin, but just as fast he was lowering her panties down her long smooth legs, throwing them to the side.

He leaned down and kissed her with his hands on her bare hips, making her melt into the kiss and allowed his tongue to sweep into her mouth. Marlena smoothed her palms up and down his chest. It felt hard and warm, and she really wanted to get her hands on it for real, not just over his t-shirt, so she allowed her hands to slip under his shirt and up his abs. She could literally feel each one of them.

Suddenly he bit her bottom lip before finally prying his lips away from hers. They stood inches apart, breathing heavily, their lust filled eyes locked on one another with Marlena’s hands fumbling at his fly. She bit her lip when she finally managed to shove his jeans and boxers down to his thighs, his hard membre springing out and poking at her stomach.

He caught her lips in another passionate kiss that made her toes curl. She let out a small moan when he hitched up a leg around his waist and his rock hard penis ground against her soaked middle. Too soon, he pulled back again, only to turn her around and force her to lay her stomach on her desk.

He stepped behind her, the rough denim of his open jeans brushing against the backs of her bare thighs. She expected him to get straight to the point, but his big hands wrapped around her ribs over her dress and smoothed down to her hips, then around her ass and up her back, this time under the fabric to keep his hands on her bare skin. Marlena practically melted into a puddle onto the desk.

“John…” she pleaded, partly because she knew they didn’t have much time but also because she was not in the mood for extensive foreplay. She wanted him and she wanted him now.

On the next long stroke across her skin, she sighed out his name, and he pressed his hips forward to rub his cock against her ass cheek. His hands stayed gentle though, and all of Marlena’s nerves had settled into pure relaxation with arousal thrumming through it. John leaned over her and kissed her shoulder, trailing his lips up to her neck, and then her ear.

“Ready?” he whispered.

She nodded with a quiet agreement, and his right hand left her hip. He guided her to spread her feet a little more and she arched her back so that her ass would push up in the air, pressing her cheek against the desk.

“Shhhh,” John whispered leaning down to her ear, his hot breath on her was making him extremely irresistible. With both hands he gripped her waist, pulling her plump ass closer to his hard cock as he pressed the tip of it up against the dripping entrance.

She stifled a moaned as the tip entered her wet pussy. Just the tip itself was bringing in excruciating pleasure. He teased her for a few agonizing moments, putting the tip in and pulling out again, letting it rub against her wet lips and repeating over and over. Finally, she bit back her moans as he slowly slid his veiny shaft deeper into her, inch-by-inch.

His right arm slid beneath Marlena’s torso and lifted her up just a half-inch more to fully burry the last thick inch up her moist canal, and they both groaned at the feeling.

“Mmph, you’re so tight,” John whispered. He surprised her by keeping his hips still after that and slowly rubbing her stomach with his hand beneath her. His other hand ran up and down her side, and he stayed bent over with his lips brushing against her neck.

She relished the way he was holding her, she felt warm and safe. Next, she let out a slow breath and pushed her hips back, rocking into him. He let out a low grunt, and his left hand stilled on her hip with a tight grip.

Ever so slowly John pulled out, but his thrust back in was a bit sharper. That thrust back in had shot a burst of pleasure through her and she spread her legs as wide as they would go, making John start a pace of shallow but quick thrusts.

“Ooohh,” she let out a whispered moan as John slid out and roughly jammed himself back in. She was overwhelmed with intense waves of pleasure as John repeated his motion, thrusting in and out in a steady motion. She struggled to remain silent as John pounded into her, making her want to scream with every wave of pleasure his dick sent through her body. “Fuck,” Marlena whispered as her body shook with pleasure.

John smiled and breathed harshly as he picked up speed, thrusting his hips in faster and faster, causing Marlena’s eyes to widen with pleasure as his massive cock fucked her deep, stretching her moist walls as she tightly gripped around him. She felt as if he was hitting her belly button.

Acting on animal-instinct John grabbed her right leg, lifting it upward to rest on the desk and around his waist as he fucked her even deeper, hitting her g-spot making her crazy with pleasure. Marlena had to bite back a scream as his tip slammed up against that sweet spot that only he could hit, making her scream for him.

Her hands scrabbled on the desk until she got her palms flat so that she could have more leverage to push herself back into his thrusts. She wanted more and harder.

John let down her leg as he pressed his chest down onto her back, pinning her to the desk so she couldn’t do anything but take it as he pounded into her. She could feel herself on the edge of an orgasm and she cried out his name. He responded by biting her neck, and with that she came so hard, her vision blacked out. He didn’t even slow down, just kept fucking her through it as she writhed and swallowed moans beneath him.

When he finally slowed down to a stop, Marlena’s throat felt scratchy and her legs were starting to wobble, but she wondered why he had stopped when he hadn’t finished. She didn’t understand until he straightened up behind her, the movement causing his hips to shift. Then she realized he was still hard, and they weren’t done yet. She smiled.

She heard him huff out a low groan before he pulled out and slid back in. He went much deeper this time, and she could hardly hold back her moans. Both his hands were tight on her hips, and she could hear his unsteady breathing as he tried to go slow.

Then he yanked her hips back as he buried his cock back inside, and she accidentally yelped with the shock of how damn good that felt. He didn’t wait this time before he slammed in again, going so deep, she felt him nudge something inside of her. She panted, wanting nothing more than to scream and let him hear just how good he was making her feel.

His hands controlled her hips, and she was once again powerless to do anything but take everything he gave.  He groaned and went even faster, and Marlena was a shaking mess, her walls clenching even tighter around him, another orgasm coming on. She only needed a little bit more, and he was probably getting close to being through. His thrusts lost their rhythm and turned jerky, but one of them hit a spot inside of her that made her bite her lip so hard she drew blood as her orgasm unexpectedly ripped through her entire body.

John kept fucking through it until he finally pulled out and held her hips in place as he let go all over her butt cheeks, a guttural groan escaping his lips.

Marlena was panting as she slumped against the desk. She couldn’t feel her legs. She swallowed past her dry throat, and she felt him let go of her hips. He returned a few seconds later with the tissue box that had been thrown on the floor. He gently wiped away every remaining drop of his seed and slowly pulled her dress back down.

She tried to force herself to straighten up, but strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her down. She ended up in John’s lap while he sat in one of the guest chairs in front of the desk. His lips captured hers in a kiss before she could say anything, and they spent the next few minutes lazily making out and touching each other. She definitely hadn’t expected to get after-sex cuddling, but she was so glad she did. She didn’t ever want to leave his arms. She wanted to stay this way forever.

Forever didn’t last long as he gently lift her off his lap and stood up, pulling his boxers and jeans back up and buttoning them.

Marlena looked around her office as she tried to straighten herself up. When she couldn’t locate what she was looking for she looked to John. “My panties?”

“These?” He pulled them out of his jean pocket with a toothy grin. “I think I’ll keep them until further notice.”

She stared at him uncertainly before giving up and smirking. Adjusting her dress, Marlena said, “this can’t ever happen again.” She looked up at him, holding his gaze steadily. “You cannot come to my office for this anymore.”

He smiled contently, taking the few steps towards her. His right hand went up to curl around her neck, while he placed a few open mouthed kisses over her plump lips, his left hand falling to squeezing her ass. He kissed her one last time, licking his lips as he pulled away. He didn’t say a word as he turned for the door and walked out, Marlena following behind, wiping around her lips.

“Cynthia, please help Mr. Brown,” she emphasized, “book an appointment for any further sessions he may require.”

“Oh I can assure you that won’t be necessary,” John said to both ladies, an amusing smile on his face.

“No?” Cynthia asked.

“No,” he smirked. “I got what I came here for.” John eyed Marlena while fumbling for his keys in his pocket. “I’m feeling much better now.” He turned to leave before stopping and looking back at Marlena. “Thanks for all your help doctor.”

Cynthia swooned when she was sure he had left. “He’s so hot! I know he’s a client so it’s inappropriate but I want him so bad!” she said in excitement, her voice high.

“He is pretty hot, I’ll give you that,” Marlena agreed, smiling internally at the fact that he was hers. No, that’s wrong; he wasn’t hers anymore. She cleared her throat and put on an innocent expression. “You know, I get the feeling that he’s already taken,” she said, trying to dissuade her receptionist.  

“Really?” she batted her eyes. “Why would you say that?”

“I mean, did you see him? There’s no way he’s single.” It’s true. Someone like John shouldn’t be single and all of a sudden it dawned on her that he would one day move on to another woman.

The young secretary nodded understandingly. “You’re probably right…Actually, I think he’s got a thing for you,” she said suggestively, raising her eyebrows at her.

“Hmm?” Marlena looked at her with disbelief.

“He was checking you out the entire time.” Cynthia shrugged her shoulders and proceeded to lean both her elbows on the desk. “I could see it in his eyes, he wants you.”

Marlena blushed and smiled awkwardly, going back in her office to compose herself and get back to work. Once inside, she closed her door and leaned back against it, looking over her desk. Paper, pens, files, and her phone were scattered on the floor, her desk in disarray. She smiled contently.

At the sound of a soft knock John bolted up from the couch and made his way to the hotel room door. She had changed. She was now wearing a flowy yellow sundress and with the help of the sun shinning through the big window in the hall onto her silky blonde hair, Marlena looked like a literal ray of sunshine. She had on a warm smile, butterflies flowing through her stomach like it always did in John’s presence, and the anticipation of what was to come was already starting to build inside her, soaking her underwear. She bit her bottom lip softly, still standing in the hall.

Suddenly, John stopped gawking and whispered, “you’re gorgeous”, before reaching for her face and pulling her inside, her lips crushing onto his. She let out a soft moan instantly, wrapping her arms around his neck and following him fully inside while he kicked the door closed with his foot.

While their tongues probed the depths of each other’s mouth his right hand remained on the side of her face while his left hand slipped to the back of her head, pulling her deeper into the kiss, trying to get as much of her as he could while opening his mouth and swallowing her lips the best he could. He was crazy about her lips. Kissing her was one the best feelings in the world. He was convinced that there was no better kisser in the world.

Maybe it was simply the fact that they knew so much about the other. They were so comfortable together, they knew how the other liked it, they knew how their lips would respond. They never even had that awkward stage of kissing, when you’re trying to figure out how the other person kisses and how to make it work. It was easy and effortless, their lips and their tongues just molded perfectly together.

Pulling apart, Marlena was breathless as she looked him over in astonishment, her eyes glossed over. Their eyes locked and she parted her lips. Taking control of her breathing, Marlena reached for the button of his jeans, undoing it and the zipper quickly. Not finishing the job, her hands skimmed up his back again, stopping at his shoulder blades and sighing in contentment.

John smiled before he began peppering kisses on her throat, his warm hands slowly sliding up her arms where he gently brushed his fingers over the thin straps of her sundress, pushing them off her shoulders. He then brushed his lips from her throat to where the straps once were, his lips lapping against the hot skin before kissing the trail of her collarbone as she suppressed a moan.

Marlena chose that moment to slip her hand under his shirt and run it over his happy trail. John unconsciously sucked in his breath and exhaled on her neck, making her shiver, her body pressing itself closer to his.

“John…”

Her raspy drawl made his pants tighter and his efforts to remove her dress more fervent. His fingers returned to the straps hanging off her upper arms where he gently pulled them further down, the dress falling from her body and pooling around her feet.

There is a slight flush to her cheeks as he unabashedly surveyed her body but it soon disappeared as she reached behind herself and undid her strapless bra, her rosy nipples standing out beckoning him. John swallowed, wasting no time in taking off his t-shirt and pulling her body so close to his that she sucked in a deep breath.

His hand closed over her breast, messaging it as he planted soft kisses on her jaw and finally her mouth again, tasting her swollen lips, remnants of cherry lip-gloss all over them. John groaned into her mouth, fingers pinching her nipple as she arched further into him, rubbing into his bulge and teasing him.

With a final few laps oh his tongue, John left her lips and he fell to his knees before her, his hands running down her shapely sides to finally rest on her backside, pulling her closer to him. He trailed his mouth over her stomach, occasionally licking her hot skin and proceeding to blow against the spot, sending chills through her.

Marlena looked down at him with her hands roaming from his shoulders to the back of his head, fingers tangling through his hair as she enjoyed his ministrations. She let out soft sighs when he started to place hot, wet open mouth kisses over her stomach, trailing to the left side of her waist where he began to suck softly and mark her.

John’s hands soon left her ass and travelled up her spine, slowly coming down again as he felt her every curve. How he loved her body. Next his hands slipped inside the waistline of her panties and settled over the curve of her ass before giving a good squeeze and biting her waist.

“John,” Marlena moaned, fingers clenching through his soft hair. Her breath hitched in her throat when he began to pull the garment down her legs, his hands gliding over the backs of her thighs and her calves as he did so.

He helped her to step out of them, kissing the inside of each thigh as he lifted her leg, removing the clothing as well as her sandals. His hands travelled back up her thighs and to her behind again. With firm hands he massaged her ass. Marlena loved the forceful motions and the way his hands gripped her cheeks and separated them.

She enjoyed a few more moments of his hot kisses and wonderful massage before she dropped to her knees before him, cupping his face with her hands as she swallowed his mouth. They kissed hungrily and passionately, holding each other close, hands roaming every inch of exposed skin while Marlena’s hands dropped to John’s hips, finishing what she had started earlier. Roughly she pulled the denim material and his boxers over his ass and down to his knees, when she then proceeded to push him by the shoulders to lie down on the carpeted floor.

John giggled as she busied herself with ridding him of his pants and his shoes. He could tell she was over the foreplay and wanted to get straight to the point. He stood up and pulled her with him, both now fully naked. “Someone’s in a hurry.”

Their lips met at the end of his sentence, tongues passionately exploring each other’s mouth. Marlena pushed him by the shoulders, making him sit on the edge of the bed and she sat on John’s lap, wrapping her legs around his waist. She could feel his hardened dick as it set perfectly in the little valley between her legs. She moved herself against him, grinding her lower half with his and she could feel his cock throb with excitement.

They were looking deeply into each other’s eyes, and Marlena’s heart swelled unintentionally. It was so strong a feeling that it seemed to hang in the air between them. She leaned forward and kissed him tenderly.

He slid his hands down to Marlena’s hips and gently lifted her up and closer to him. She felt his hot breath on her neck as he kissed the hollow at the base of her throat and she felt the head of his swollen dick press against her wet center and wanted nothing more than to set herself down on him.

With Marlena still raised and close to him, John got up and gently laid Marlena on her back. His hands were a little rough; the feeling of them on her skin was heavenly. Marlena looked into John’s eyes as he propped himself up over her. She then turned her head to the side and kissed his arm. She loved the feeling of his skin against her lips.

Sitting back on his knees John looked lovingly at Marlena’s body. His interest was evident by his erect member jutting from his crotch. Marlena watched how it swayed as he moved. He put his hands on her legs, smirking as he pushed them apart. Her pussy was wet, and willing to be explored.

John trailed his hand down her chest touching her breast and lightly pinching her erect nipple. Marlena was thrilled by the gentle pinch; the slight pain it brought made her pussy tingle. His hands continued down her body, drawing slow patterns on her stomach. Using both hands John traced patterns on her stomach and sides. The sensation was enough to quicken her heart as she waited for them to find her longing center. She gasped as she felt him lightly trail his fingers over her soft pubic bone area.

Marlena spread her legs a little wider as an invitation for John to explore the soft wet folds of her. She wanted his fingers in her badly, and he was torturing her by delaying the touch she desperately craved. Almost torturing her, John ran his fingers over the creases between her legs, then down the inside of her thighs and back up again, slowly.

Finally, John’s finger slid up and down her slippery wet slit slowly. Pulling his hand away, he licked his finger and commented on how good she tasted. Pulling his finger from his mouth, John returned to playing with her pussy.  Lying down beside her on his side, John laid Marlena’s leg over him and slowly slipped a finger into her as he looked into her beautiful eyes.

Marlena felt the second finger work its way into her and sighed heavily. His fingers felt so good as they slowly fucked her pussy. John soon pulled his hand away from her warm canal and rubbed her nipples with her wet juices that coated his fingers. Leaning over, he greedily licked the wetness from her delicate pink nipples. His hand went straight back down and started working again on her pussy while his mouth continued to feast on her perfect breasts.

Shifting her position slightly by sliding herself up and pushing her middle towards him, Marlena was able to feel the head of his cock rest in the little junction between her leg and pussy as his fingers still worked their magic. She could see the muscles in his forearms ripple as his fingers worked. She watched them move in the corner of her eye and placed her hand on his arm so she could feel them move under his skin. His fingers knew just how she liked to be touched. This man was definitely meant to be her lover on so many levels.

They held each other’s gaze and shared a silent connection that was stronger than anything either of them had ever felt. Breathing heavily, Marlena reached down and played with the tip of John’s penis. She could feel the slippery pre-cum on his head and slowly dragged her finger through it, making it slick and wet feeling. She loved how silky the skin of his cock felt. The firmness excited her. It felt stiff and hot nestled in the little hollow between her pussy and leg; her desire for it to be inside her was almost overwhelming. Marlena lifted her hips a little higher and shifted up a little more. With her fingers she guided him to the opening of her pussy and teased herself with his swollen head.

The mixture of John’s pre-cum and Marlena’s already dripping pussy allowed her to easily slide just his head inside her. John withdrew his hand and pulled Marlena closer, crushing their chests together. She gasped as his cock thrust a little deeper into her, his cock was hard as steel, and it felt like heaven in Marlena’s warm and tight pussy.

Hiking her leg higher onto his side, John brought a hand to palm her ass and push her lower half into him as he thrust the final inches of himself into her heated depths. Every inch of their bodies were pressed together and he gave a shuddering sigh into her mouth as they kissed sensually, deeply.

They lay there, joined together in more ways than one, but they didn’t move. They stay still, enjoying the moment and the increasing heat and pleasure before John started to gently buck his hips back and forth into her. For added leverage he gripped her ass and pulled it into him with each thrust.

His strokes were slow and tender, yet deep and filling. Her walls were throbbing and pulsating around him. Tangling his left hand into her hair, John continued to pump in and out of her at an easy speed.

Marlena buried her head in the nook where his shoulder met his neck, where her soft moans were smothered against his skin with every open mouthed kiss that she gave. Wrapping arms and her leg tighter around him, she joined in the thrusting, urging him to sink in deeper.

Instead, John’s right hand left her ass and slipped between them, finding her core. Pressing the palm of his hand against her clit, Marlena’s body shuddered. She clenched her eyes closed tight and tucked her bottom lip beneath her teeth, humming out a moan.

While his fingers began working magic at a hastened speed, caressing her clit, his thrusts became slow. He was dragging out each stroke.

“John,” she whimpered against his neck.

Suddenly, John moved Marlena around so that she was lying on her back and he was now on top of her. Grasping her leg, he pulled it further, hooking it in the crease of his left arm. He thrust himself deep and hard into Marlena’s pussy, and for a moment she felt as if she could pass out from the overwhelming sexual intensity. Digging her fingers hard into his muscles biceps, Marlena’s mouth fell open into a silent scream.

Sliding his cock into her hot wet pussy, he reached so deep into her, and it was a satisfying feeling. John whispered “I love having sex with you,” his hot breath on her ear. He kissed her warm neck as he slid his hard cock in and out of her.

Marlena started to sigh and breathe quickly, signaling the coming of an enormous, orgasmic wave. He felt the walls of her pussy gripping his pulsing cock still thrusting so deeply inside of her. Her sweet pussy felt like a soft hand tightly holding him. The snugness of her was like a vise. It felt unbelievably good encompassing him. They both moaned.

John’s thrusts became quicker and more forceful as Marlena was rushing toward the edge of an incredible orgasm. She could feel the sweat running down John’s chest as he thrust into her. She knew he was working hard to please her. Soon she felt herself pushed over the edge. Her orgasm had reached the proportions of a tsunami, and she rode the tidal wave of pleasure with gritting teeth and a wild, convulsing, clenching pussy, now gushing cum as she yelled out in absolute pleasure as her body shook.

Her pussy was soaking wet, and her juices made John’s cock very wet and slick. He continued to grind his hips into hers in a slow motion, the added lubrication making him slide in and out faster. Slowing down, he placed multiple kisses over her chest as she calmed down, her breathing returning to normal.

Marlena looked at him, a heavily satisfied smile plastered on her face. She reached out with both hands and held his face softly, her thumbs brushing against the stubble on his cheeks. With his painfully slow and soft thrusts she knew he was holding out, building to a more intense orgasm. “Fuck me again,” she whispered, lifting her head to kiss him tenderly on the lips.

John raised an eyebrow and his mouth followed with a grin. Quickly, he untangled himself from her body and reached for his wallet that he had put on the bedside table when he first arrived to the suite. Holding one edge of the wrapper, he peeled one side down and grabbed the condom. In no time at all it was on his hard cock and he was ready to plunge it into her again. Moving closer to her, John wrapped his arms around her and pulls her underneath him once again.

She felt him pressed against her stomach, teasing her with his throbbing length and she saw his mischievous glint.

He took his time kissing her neck again, sliding his warm tongue over her flesh. Just one press of his lips sends heat through her nerve endings.

Marlena arched against him as he began a slow rhythm caressing her breasts and driving her wilds, but he’s nowhere close to being inside of her. “Did you want me to beg or something?”

John grinned again, reaching between them to run his hand dangerously slow over her slit and slide three fingers inside her wetness. “Is this what you want?” he breathed against her mouth.

“Not…not what I…I..meant,” Marlena struggled to get out as his fingers worked wonders between her heated thighs.

She felt wonderfully snug around his fingers, the sounds emanating from her soft pink lips and the way her body wrapped around his in subtle desperation made his hardened erection twitch. Caught off guard, John was not expecting her to muster up the strength to reverse their positions, pushing him onto his back as she rolled on top of him and slowly straddled him.

He groaned in pleasure, being able to look up at her above him with her wet pussy resting over his pubic bone. “I think I know what you meant now,” he said with a sly smile.

Her soft fair skin was breathtaking as he placed his hands on Marlena’s breasts and started to kneel, and pinch her nipples. She responded by laughing in delight. Feeling his cock press against her pussy, Marlena started to move slightly back and forth relishing the feeling of John’s swollen member slide against her velvety opening.

Lowering her chest to his, she rested her arms on either side of his head for balance as she slowly kissed him. Never breaking the kiss, Marlena raised her hips and used one hand to guide him to her entrance where she slowly descended onto him. They both moaned into the other’s mouth, tongues melting together and lips sucking, never wanting to stop.

John’s hands went to her hips, guiding her soft strokes. She moved in a slow wave like motion, her clit rubbing on his pubic bone every time she grinded into him.

She sucked on his lower lip until he caught the nape of her neck with his hand and pulled her in for a deeper kiss. Rocking over him, John swallowed her moans as he practically devoured her mouth; nipping at her lips with his teeth before soothing them with his tongue. The hand that was on her hip lowered to her rounded ass and John squeezed as the kiss became more heated and out of control.

“I love kissing you,” he whispered when he broke the kiss several moments later.

Grinning, Marlena pushed herself off of him slightly, shuddering as his hand fell from the nape of her neck and his index finger lightly traced a line down her neck to her chest and over her mounds. Keeping her eyes trained on his, she rose over him, balancing herself on his stomach, and her breasts swayed deliciously in tandem with her hips.

John gripped her hips, helping her find her rhythm as she slid him in and out of her tight heat before one of his hands moved up and cupped her firm breast. With a burst of energy, he pushed himself up and raised his knees so she could rest against them and, leaning forward, he captured a pert nipple between his lips, sucking hard on the sensitive little nub.

She gasped at the sudden sensation and, in playful retaliation, she squeezed her pelvic muscles around his shaft. The deep growl he released combined with the feel of him kissing and licking both of her breasts in turn while his hips thrust up into her had her on the cusp of another powerful climax and her fingers dug into the smooth skin of his shoulders as she awaited its imminent arrival.

Kissing his way up the delicate column of her throat, John sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and groaned when Marlena once again squeezed her muscles around him, clamping around him tightly. Wrapping an arm around her waist John quickly flipped them over so that he was on top again. He gave a few final deep thrusts before pulling out, turning her on her side and lying behind her. Pulling her body closer to his, his fingers found her heated nub and began moving in circles, applying the right amount of pressure. He grinned as Marlena’s moans grew louder with the more pressure he applied. His hand never leaving her clit, John pushed himself closer until he found her opening and slowly eased inside her warmth.

Marlena’s head fell back, resting on his shoulder. She brought her right hand down to lie atop John’s hand that was pleasing her, moving in rhythmic motions along with him. Her lips were parted and breathy moans escaped, filling John’s ears.

“You like that?” he whispered in her ear, his hot breath sending shivers down her entire body.

Marlena moaned out a “yes” and ground her hips backwards into him, meeting his thrusts.

Slowly he rolled onto his back, never escaping her warm canal, and he brought Marlena to lay over him. His right hand held her by the front of her neck, angling her head to the side, his left hand holding her hip. He thrust up into her and kissed her cheek.

Marlena’s mouth fell open as she breathed harshly, this new position sending shivers down her spine and allowing John to reach deeper. Warmth overtaking her body, she brought her right hand down to her clit, circling her fingers and applying a gentle pressure.

The moans that escaped her mouth were turning John on even more, causing him to tighten his grip on her neck and angling her head further to the side so that he could kiss her. He slipped his tongue inside her awaiting mouth where they spent several long minutes sharing sloppy wet kisses as their hips continued to grind and meet in excruciating amounts of pleasure.

As erotic as this position was and as good as it felt, John knew he didn’t want to finish this way. Slowing his hips down, he licked her bottom lip before rolling them on their sides again and slipping out of her heat. He laid her down gently on the bed before climbing on top of her once again and sealing his mouth over hers. Anchoring her hips and holding her steady, he eased into her, swallowing the pleasure-filled sounds she was making as he filled her to the hilt.

The fingers of one of her hands combed through John’s hair while the other dug into the smooth skin of his back. Locking her ankles just above his ass, her heels bounced against him with each and every movement as he slid in and out of her. Breaking the kiss to breathe in some much-needed air, Marlena giggled at the deep groan that tore from him when she suddenly clenched her feminine muscles around him.

“You keep doing that and I’m not going to last much longer,” John warned her.

“Keep doing what?” Flashing him a dirty smile while somehow still managing to look innocent, she repeated the action and sunk her teeth into her bottom lip to try and suppress her laughter.

“I’m going to get you for that.”

“You promise?”

John’s eyes darkened to an almost midnight blue and instead of answering her verbally, he went about paying her back. Burying his face against her neck, he planted hot, wet kisses along her flushed skin while one of his hands cupped and kneaded her breasts in turn, tugging on her sensitive nipples, which earned him breathy gasps and moans.

Marlena’s entire being felt electrified as he continued to slowly move within her. She was expecting him to pick up the pace any moment now but he didn’t. “John… please,” she begged.

“Please what?”

“Faster…”

“Not yet,” he replied, lifting his head from where it was buried against her so he could see her face. “There’s no rush.”

She felt herself become even wetter at his words and the deep, husky tone he used. Cupping the back of his neck, she drew him further forward and seized his lips in a ravenous kiss, flicking the tip of her tongue along the roof of his mouth and exploring every inch of the familiar terrain thoroughly.

The tight coil in the pit of her stomach was threatening to snap at any moment and the delicious way he was touching her, inside and out, was going to send her careening over the edge any time now, she just knew it. Marlena kissed her way along his cheek until her mouth was right by his ear and after licking its shell, she whispered, “God…You feel so good…”

John’s hands fisted the pillows on either side of Marlena’s head, her heated words causing him to surge even deeper within her and shifting the angle of his hips slightly, he ground his pelvic bone against her clit. He watched as her eyes fluttered closed and he heard himself command, “Keep them open.”

Doing what she was told, Marlena kept her gaze locked on his, the blatant lust and arousal in his eyes cranking her own up a gear which, in turn, caused her breath to hitch in her throat as well as making her temperature soar. All she could see, feel and taste was John. Rocking her hips against him, meeting him thrust for thrust, she could feel her orgasm within touching distance. “Faster,” she breathed.

As much as he wanted to keep the pace torturously slow, John knew from the familiar tingle in the base of his spine that he wasn’t going to last much longer so he decided to give her what he knew she was pleading for. His hips picked up the pace and he smirked against her throat at the happy little cooing noises she immediately started making in response to it. Inching a little lower, he suckled on her collarbone before sliding further south and taking her left nipple into his mouth and grazing the little nub with blunt teeth.

The sounds Marlena began making were unintelligible but the way she squeezed her thighs even more tightly around his hips told him all he needed to know. Switching to her other breast, he lavished it with the same attention before moving back up and fusing their mouths together. Thrusting his tongue between her already parted lips, he mimicked what their lower bodies were doing and, if at all possible, he felt himself thicken even more at the eroticism of her sucking on his tongue. He was pretty sure that might’ve had something to do with her keeping her eyes open while she did it.

He was panting for air when they finally drew apart and he rested his forehead against hers. “Fuck!” he muttered.

Chuckling softly, she ran her fingertips along the back of his neck, toying idly with the short hairs at the nape. “You liked it, then?”

“Hell yeah,” he stated, adding, “Do it again.” Slanting his head, he kissed her again, instantly slipping his tongue into her mouth so she could suck on it. As previously, they both kept their eyes open and the sensation was so powerful he felt a shiver run through his whole body.

“I’m so close,” Marlena said several minutes later, her hand reaching above her head to clutch desperately at one of the pillows. Her free hand was scrabbling on John’s back as he rocked furiously into her. She forced herself to keep her eyes open and on him, and that seemed to make something that was already so intense and mind-melting even more so and within moments they were both caught in an explosion of ecstasy.

As they slowly came down from their respective highs, John collapsed onto her small frame and they shared soft kisses. Once he had garnered enough energy, John lift up and tumbled beside her and covered them both with the thin white sheet. Still panting, they both turned their heads and retained eye contact. Exploring her features, John was taken aback by her swollen lips, passionate kisses, her rosy cheeks from their movements, hips grinding with hips, and her slightly entangled hair. They just had intense, amazing, glorious sex, and she still looked flawless.

Breaking their trance, John sat up and looked to the far wall, enjoying the afterglow and the peace and quiet. It had been a long time since he’d felt this relaxed and care free.

Marlena broke the peaceful silence, tentatively saying, “John?” She continued once she heard him hum. “Why do we have to do it here at the Inn?”

John was sitting up against the headboard, the thin sheet barely covering his lower region. “Because I don’t want anybody seeing your car in my driveway and start asking questions or make a big deal about nothing.”

Marlena turned to her side then, her left hand going up to support her head. “Okay,” she let out a breath, bringing the sheet up closer to her, “but there’s still my place. No one can see your car when it’s in the underground parking.”

He looked unsure. “Yeah…it just feels weird,” he said, dismissing the idea.

“Right,” she said, annoyed. Her eyes lowered to the mattress where she was running her index finger around in circles over the sheet.

John sighed heavily, not wanting to get into any argument. “Marlena, we agreed this meant nothing so I think it’s easier this way. It’s less complicated.”

“Yeah,” she agreed with fake understanding, her eyes never leaving the invisible patterns she was tracing. She knew what this was when they started sleeping together but it still stung when she was reminded that he was just using her.

The ringing startled her, breaking her concentration. Grabbing the hand towel from the oven, she quickly wiped her hands clean and ran to the living room for her cellphone. Seeing the lit up screen on the coffee table between the two couches, she quickly reached for it. Without checking the caller ID Marlena brought the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“Hi.”

“John…,” she swallowed, a little shy and nervous. “What..Why -“

“How are you?” John said at the same time.

She looked outside the balcony doors, the sun shinning bright. “I’m fine,” she said. They hadn’t seen nor spoken in over a month, which was partially her fault since she cancelled on him a couple of weekends ago. The last thing she was expecting this evening was a call from him.

“You don’t sound fine,” he inquired further, being able to read her by just the sound of her voice.

Tearing her eyes from the city, Marlena reached down to pick up the coffee mug that was left on the coffee table. “You caught me by surprise, that’s all.”

“To be honest, I’m surprised myself that I’m calling you,” John admitted. It wasn’t his plan to call her but when he couldn’t reach anybody else he just had to try her. He needed to here a familiar voice.

“Why are you calling?” John could hear the mixed emotions in her voice. Happy, sad, anxious, hopeful, heartbroken…

He laid down onto his couch, crossing his feet together and his right hand going behind his head for support. “Meh…I’m just bored.” He played it off like it was no big deal. “This bachelor pad can get pretty lonely at times when I’m here all alone with nobody to talk to.”

“You could have called Bo or Roman.” Back in the kitchen, she placed the mug in the sink and let water run over it. “Steve or Abe,” she added.

“Tried them. The young detectives are at the cop shop and Steve didn’t pick up.”

She shut off the tap, leaning her free arm on the counter and staring at her cutting board beside her. “So why me?”

“I told you.”

“You’re lonely? Then come home.” Her reply was blunt but she didn’t care. She stood up straight and went back to the task she had been doing before John called.

John was staring at the ceiling admiring the wood panel ceiling. “It’s probably not wise right now. I want to give Rebecca space and it’s easier being away from Salem and everyone.” Why deal with all the drama and tension in Salem when he can be stress free and still work in Chicago?

“Then make some new friends in Chicago,” she sounded irritated, just as she cut through a piece of carrot harshly.

“I don’t have time to make new friends.” He knew he probably should make time but he didn’t hate his free time alone. “My life is filled with business these days. I like it this way.”

“But you had time to call me?” Scooping up the pile of sliced up carrots she dropped them with the peppers in the large pan.

“I’m still doing some work. Speaking of, I need your advice.” He repositioned himself slightly. “What do you think of kids?”

“Honestly?” She took a breath, thinking. “Kids are a big responsibility, they require a lot of work and attention. Not to mention that some can be annoying and very needy. Are you considering fostering or something?”

He burst out laughing.

Marlena put down the knife and reached for the phone that was wedged between her shoulder and ear. She put it on speakerphone and placed it beside her on the counter. “What? You asked for my opinion. That’s how I feel.” She went back to cutting up the celery.

“You can’t see me with a kid?” The side of John’s lip twitched into a small smile.

“Ummm, no. Doesn’t fit it in with your lifestyle. You work too much and you’re barely home as it is.”

John’s smile faded as he became serious, his voice also losing the playful tone. “You know there was a time you and I talked about our future and having kids,” he cleared his throat at the end of the sentence.

Marlena placed the knife down and laid her palms flat on the granite surface. She spoke in a soft voice, saying, “That’s a long time ago, John. If you want kids it will be with somebody else now.”

John cleared his throat once again and scratched his chin. “I guess it’s a good thing that it’s not what I was referring to.” He let out a little laugh to ease the tension.

“Then what were you talking about?” She looked down at her phone when a text notification came up. It was Laura.

“Basic Black. I’m thinking of starting a children’s line.”

“Oh,” she let out a soft and short laugh. “Well when you put it that way, it’s great.” Another small chuckles escaped her lips.

“You think so?”

She picked up the knife once again and returned to her veggies. “All your other lines are successful, why wouldn’t this one? You’ll get all the business from customers who already buy your product and you’ll attract new buyers, who in turn might end up buying from your other lines.”

John hummed in agreement, waiting for her voice to start again, to say anything.

“Not to mention that there are so many kids and they outgrow clothes so fast so parents are constantly buying new outfits. You can’t lose.”

“I’m gonna do it!” John exclaimed. “You convinced me.”

Marlena frowned and rolled her eyes. “Why do I doubt that it was that simple?”

“You’re better at business than you think. I believe I’ve told you that once or twice in the past,” he reminded her, reaching his free arm behind him to get the remote control on the side table.

“Yes you have,” she replied shyly.

“Thanks for your expert opinion.”

“Hmmm, well your bill will be in the mail,” she replied.

They fell into a peaceful and comfortable silence. John lay with his eyes closed as he listened to Marlena shuffling in the background.

Marlena cleared her throat, wondering if she should hang up. Their conversation was evidently over.

“What are you doing?” John asked right on time.

“I’m making supper.” With both hands she scooped up the cut up vegetables and threw them in the pan with the rest and set in on the stove.

John had to hold back his laughter at the idea of her cooking. “Let me guess…soup from a can?”

“No, I’m actually cooking.” Taking the steak from the fridge she opened the package and laid the meat on the cutting board.

He laughed. “I don’t believe you.”

She playfully rolled her eyes. “It’s true! I’ve learned a few things and I’ve gotten better,” she insisted, starting to slice into the uncooked meat.

John sat up, taken aback at the idea. “I’ve experienced your cooking so I’m having a really hard time believing that.”

It’s true, she used to be terrible in the kitchen. “I’m making a stir fry with steak,” she explained.

“Ooooh, you do know how to cook steak right?” John teased, turning the TV on.

She laughed, eyeing the cut off ends of the veggies lying in a pile on the counter. “If you were here right now I’d be throwing a piece of carrot at you,” she said sarcastically. “Yes I do know how to cook steak.”

“Without burning it or the apartment on fire?” John laughed as he said it, finding her insistence cute.

“If you’re going to criticize my cooking skills then I’m going to criticize you.” Her tone was still playful but a hint of seriousness seeped through.

“Doc…” he started off playful but then he trailed off. “Criticize me for what?”

“Come home,” she said seriously, no silliness or smile present in her voice. “Salem is your home. You can’t let a woman chase you out of town. You can’t hide from her, no matter how much you hurt her. Don’t be a coward.”

He let that sink in, biting the inside of his cheek. “Have you seen her?” he spoke after a minute of silence.

“Have I seen her? Are you crazy?” She laughed. “Her eyes alone could murder me.”

It was a little past noon when Marlena walked through the door of the Pub for some lunch. Totally unexpected, she stopped in her tracks when she saw John at the bar talking to a waiter. She didn’t know he was in town and now she wondered when he arrived, how long her was staying and why he had not told her. Composing herself, she leisurely walked up to him.

“John?” Marlena smiled, surprised to see him.

He swallowed a drink of coffee, looking at her over the rim of the mug. He saw her wonder and she knew what she was thinking. “You told me to come home,” he said matter-of-factly and shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal.

She smiled, pleasantly surprised. She leaned an arm against the bar beside him. “I wasn’t expecting you to actually listen to me.”

John put down his mug and leaned his back against the bar, crossing his arms across his chest. “You were right. It was time I stopped hiding from my problems.”

“Well I’m glad you’re back home with your family and friends,” Marlena said as she looked around the pub and waived down a waitress.

“And you.” He raised an eyebrow, a sly smirk on his face.

Marlena turned her head to him. “Huh?” Before she knew it John grabbed her by hand and dragged her out of pub and to his car. “John, what are you doing? I need to get some food then head back to the office.”

“You’re not going anywhere.” His hands cupped the sides of her face and pulled her into him, kissing her hard and pressing her against his car, his body crushing hers and leaving her breathless. “Get in,” he groaned. He opened the back door for her and slapped her ass as she made her way into the back seat. John quickly slammed the door and got into the driver’s seat.

“You’re making me sit in the back all alone?” She pouted.

John caught her eyes through the rearview mirror. “Unless you want me to take you right here in this parking lot?” He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

Marlena grinned. “No sir.”

He raced home, making it in under five minutes and yanked her from the car just as quickly. Unable to resist, John pressed her against the door and kissed her neck as he unlocked the door. She held on tightly, her lips parted as she breathed, melting under the touch of his lips.

Once John got the door open, they stumbled inside, tongues lapping against the other as they rushed to kick off their shoes without falling or breaking apart. Without warning John pulled his lips away and he hoisted her over shoulder and she burst out laughing. He smacked her ass and quickly made his way up the two steps and down the hall to the right, stopping at the first guest room on the right.

The moment John set her down on her feet her hands reached out and took his t-shirt in her hands. She gripped the black fabric, yanking him down abruptly before smashing her lips against his. She pulled away slightly; his breath was blowing against her lips in a shaky manner.

“I want you. Right now,” she whispered, before pressing her lips against his once again. He kissed back, his lips working fiercely against hers. Marlena’s grip on his shirt tightened, as she started falling back onto the bed.

He fell with her, his arms stretching out and supporting him. Not a moment after, his hands were hastily roaming her figure, slipping his hand up her camisole, and caressing her sides and chest.

Marlena lightly gasped, her hands quickly finding his hair. She tangled them in the black mess and pulled him deeper into the kiss. He smirked, his tongue sliding along her bottom lip. She parted her mouth, not wanting to tease, but wanting intimacy.

John’s tongue slipped past her lips, exploring her mouth as far as possible as his chest was tight against hers, pinning her to the soft bed underneath. He left her mouth, causing a whimper of disappointment to escape her. His lips were soon pressed against her neck, trailing down and leaving soft butterfly kisses. Turning her head, she let out a soft moan as John continued his actions on her body. He searched her neck, finding a soft spot in a short amount of time. Gently, he started kissing harder, until she was letting out soft cries as he bore his mark on the side of her neck, close to her ear, knowing that she would be able to hide it with her hair.

“John,” she moaned as he bit into her neck, his hands leaving her sides, taking her wrists and pinning her hands to the sides of her head. Marlena started squirming underneath him, wanting to take part in the action.

His lips smirked against her skin. “Not yet,” he whispered, kissing and dragging his tongue along her neck. Marlena lightly shivered, the cool breeze escaping the slightly opened window blew over her body. John’s lips pressed against her neck, under the ear, where he trailed up, and nibbled playfully on the shell of her ear. She gasped, attempting again to free her hands.

He lightly chuckled, watching with an amused expression as she failed to free herself. Marlena frowned cutely, before he leaned down and pecked her on the lips. She felt his hands loosen for the slightest second, and she smirked in the kiss, pulling her hands out from underneath him, pushing against his chest, and flipping him all in one movement.

Marlena straddled his waist, her hands firmly grasping his own down onto the bed. She leaned down, kissing his lips once, then trailing down in a swift manner. She came to the hem of his black t-shirt, taking it in her teeth, and slowly bringing it up with her without releasing his hands. His eyes were slits, as he stared down at her with a devious smirk. Marlena returned the gesture, returning to his lips to snatch another heated kiss. He bit down on her bottom lip, making her flinch lightly, before letting out a weak moan. Finally she broke from his lips, pressing them softly against his neck. She searched his neck, her lips passing a spot that caused a light gasp to escape his lips. She smirked, returning and kissing harder. He lightly moaned, making her smile. She left a dark hickey there, not caring as she did so.

In all the intimate touches, she forgot about keeping him down. He took the chance to flip her, much like she had to him. He didn’t bother pinning her this time; instead he roughly started pulling her blazer off, followed by all other unwanted clothing.

Marlena slipped shirt his over his head, smirking, running her hands along his chest and stomach, feeling the smooth muscles flex slightly under her touch. She arched her neck, meeting her lips with his while her hands roamed a little further down. She softly caressed his stomach, slipping her hands down to his belt. She messed with getting it off, while they shared yet another heated kiss. Finally it was loose, where it jingled freely. She smiled. “John,” she mumbled between kissed, but he continued kissing her.

“Hmm,” was his response.

She laughed, breaking away from the kiss. “Are you going to keep me waiting like this forever?” Marlena asked, motioning toward her bare body.

He smiled. “I could,” he stated in a taunting tone and she frowned. “But I won’t.”

The smile found itself back on her lips, as he leaned down, pressing his lips to hers warmly. He started grinding his hips against hers, his erection pressing against her pelvis in an almost painful sensation. She gasped, letting out a moan of pleasure. He continued taunting her, his hands starting to roam her body.

She managed to work out some words between gasps and moans. “L-Liar,” she groaned and he smirked, sweetly kissing her, before grinding his hips against hers again. She frowned, her face a bright pink.

Suddenly he pressed his lips against hers, pulling her legs around his waist. He finished the job she had started earlier, pulling his belt off, followed by the button, before finally pulling down the zipper in a slow manner.

“You know what would be great,” he whispered against her jaw as he pushed his jeans and boxers down his legs and kicking them off.

Marlena’s fingers threated through his hair as she breathed “hmmm” into his ear. Her ankles were locked together around his torso, holding him tight.

His lips trailed down her chest, licking a line to her breasts were he took a nipple between his teeth, tugging lightly. “If you would give me head.”

Marlena said nothing as she held his head in place as he took her breast in his mouth, his tongue lapping over the pert nipple and sucking, occasionally biting.

“I’ve missed having your mouth around me,” he said, his face buried in the valley between her breasts.

Marlena licked her dry lips, guiding his mouth to her nipple once again. “That’s not going to change either.”

“Come on,” he said, “just once.” He worked his lips against the side of her areola, sucking until he left a dark purple mark. “Your blowjobs have always been amazing.” His mouth changed breasts, one hand going to kneed the wet and tingling breast while the other hand held the second boob in place as he sucked hard, almost like milking her.

Marlena writhed underneath him, barely able to focus as his erection pressed into her thigh and his hands and mouth inflicted the perfect mix of pleasure and pain upon her breasts. “If that’s what you want,” she moaned in the middle of her sentence when John bit down hard on her right nipple and pinched the left just as hard. “You’ll have to find someone else,” she finished, her mouth dry.

“You’re no fun,” John pouted against her skin, kneading both breasts hard.

She shrugged, not caring that his “feelings” were hurt. She would not be giving him any head. That was something she only did when they dated. He lost that privilege when he broke up with her.

“Fuck me,” she whispered, cupping his face in her hands. She bit her bottom lip sexily, trying to make him forget that she turned him down as well as to give her boobs a rest. He had sucked, bit, squeezed, and kneaded so hard that she was now sore. A good sore, but still sore.

“With pleasure,” he said, kissing his way up her chest until his lips found hers again. He gave her a carnal kiss, his left hand grabbing her thigh and hoisting it up higher around his torso as he settled between legs, presenting himself at her entrance. “Brace yourself,” he whispered against her lips.

She closed her eyes, waiting for the incredible sensation to start. He leaned forward, his hand still holding her legs around his waist as he pushed forward. Her mouth fell open as she let a pleasurable cry escape and her arms reached up, wrapping tightly around his neck.

‘”J-John..” she gasped, her legs tightened around his waist like a python, as he finally settled inside her. Before she could catch her breath, he started swaying his hips, pulling slightly back, and sliding back in. She arched her back, her heels pressing against his lower back in indication to go harder.

John smirked, smoothly thrusting into her at a harder pace. She cried out, her nails beginning to dig into his shoulders, leaving crescent like marks while he grunted, leaning down and pressing his lips against her neck.

”John…Harder..” Marlena moaned, as she started to up her hips up against his. He pulled away, gathering her legs and pulling them over his shoulders. She gasped as he thrust into her, crying out at the pleasure that the new position brought. Her hands searched for something to grip until she found his forearms that were holding him up as he slammed into her. Marlena dug her nails into his arms, making him flinch lightly but he ignored the slight pain, and continued his actions. It wasn’t long until she began to feel tight knots form in the pit of her stomach, sending a throbbing sensation throughout her southern region.

A loud groan escaped John’s lips as he sped up his thrusts, making Marlena scream as she finally released. His member thrusted a few more times before releasing, and coming to a slow stop.

Marlena was gasping for breath, her nails finally releasing his forearms as her legs fell limp, resting on his hips now.

He ran a hand through his hair, giving her a flirtatious stare. “Was that enough for you?”

Marlena smirked, her chest still raising and lowering at a fast pace but that didn’t stop her from sitting up, pushing him back against the bed, and pinning his arms down. “Not even close,” she said, smashing her lips against his. He smirked, kissing back.

The Pub was basically empty, save for a couple people, a single waiter, and Bo and John. It was a Saturday evening but it appeared as though everyone was staying in. “So..Marlena..” Bo trailed off, taking a swig of his cold beer.

John turned his head towards his friend momentarily. “What about her?” His eyes returned to the board ahead of him and he threw the dart.

“You tell me.” Bo shrugged and raised his eyebrows suggestively. He had seen them in the Salem Inn’s lobby a few days before, and it looked like they were leaving.

“Nothing to say,” John dismissed, throwing his next dart.

It was now Bo’s turn. Gathering up his darts he said, “I see you two leaving the Inn together the other day yet there’s nothing to say?” He stepped in front of John and threw his darts at the board, landing a perfect bullseye.

John registered what Bo had said, not saying a word.

“Count yourself lucky that I’m the one that saw you,” Bo shot over his shoulder as he removed the darts from the board. “It wouldn’t have been pretty if it were Rebecca who happened to be there and laid her eyes on you instead of me.” He raised his eyebrows and wrinkled his forehead at John when he passed him the darts.

John sighed heavily, playing with one of the darts. “That’s true.” He looked Bo straight in the eyes. “However,” he breathed, “she and I are no longer dating so she technically doesn’t have a say about how I chose to spend my time or what I do.” With that, John turned his back to his friend and played his turn.

“Or who you do?” Bo shot back immediately.

“Beauregard,” John growled, annoyed.

“Just don’t hurt Marlena, okay?”

John sat down on a stool at the bar, grabbing a fistful of peanuts. “I’m not planning on hurting her.” He dropped a few nuts in his mouth and chewed, taking a big gulp of beer to help swallow.

Giving up on the game, Bo dropped the darts on the counter and he too took a drink of beer. “Then what are you doing with her?”

“We’re just having fun.” John shrugged. Another drink. “She knows this doesn’t mean anything.” He ran his tongue between his back teeth and his cheek, getting the food unstuck.

“Don’t you think there comes a time when you both have to move on with your lives? You can’t keep playing this game if no one’s going to win. Either be together or let each other go.”

“You think it’s that simple?!” John almost yelled. “You obviously don’t know Marlena and I very well.”

“Yes, I do. I know how you two are more than you know,” he stated. When John tore his gaze away, Bo hit him in the shoulder to get his attention once again. “You’re John and Marlena and if that’s not enough to explain it, I don’t know what is. It’s always been you two… I know that she still loves you and I’m beginning to think that you’re not completely over her yourself.”

John rolled his eyes. “You’re being ridiculous.” He finished his beer and looked away, avoiding Bo.

“Deny it all you want,” started Bo, “but one day you’ll have to admit it. You’re never going to be out of each other’s lives, I’m telling you right now.” He made his way behind the bar in search for more beers.

“Be quiet,” John shot out, having heard enough.

“No, seriously!” Bo slammed a bottle of beer a little too harshly in front of John. “You slept with her while you were with Rebecca. How could you do that if you didn’t still have feelings? You’re still sleeping with her, fuck. Don’t say it’s just a strong physical attraction. That’s bullshit.”

John smacked his palm down on the counter in frustration. “What the hell do you want Bo!”

He started John down, not intimidated. “I’m trying to make you realize what you’re too stubborn to see!”

***

I never would have believed it if last year someone would have told me I’d be here writing this letter.

I was talking with my dad about you the other day, hypothetically of course. He asked me if there would ever be a chance of having you in my life. I told him with all honesty that I didn’t think it would happen. Not with the way my life is going right now. Not anytime soon anyways. I could see his expression change when I told him what my life had been like the past year. 

I don’t want you to think poorly of me. I don’t want you to hate me. I want us to have a good relationship. I want you to know you can come to me with anything, no matter what I will always be here to support you.

I’m sitting here writing you this letter; a letter that I’m not sure of when or even if I will give to you. All I know is that even though we haven’t met yet and I’m just learning about you today, I already love you more than life itself. I will always love you.

Love,
Your mama

Marlena flicked her pen closed but remained seated in the corner of her room on the sofa. She re-read the letter, gently running her fingers across the paper before folding it in half and reaching for the pregnancy test that sat beside her. She stared at those lines again, unable to take her eyes away. It was crazy to think that two little lines could drastically change your life. She could hear her heart thump in her ears, anxiety spreading through her. Taking a deep breath, she looked through the balcony doors at the beginning of a sunset.

Next thing she knew she was dressed in yoga pants and a light cardigan as she strolled through the park. It was a perfect evening; the sun was setting, making the perfect hue of pink, orange and purple with a refreshing breeze flowing as the crickets chirped. It was soothing and exactly what Marlena needed at the moment. She needed to clear her mind and get perspective.

She was deep in thought when she suddenly felt someone grabbing her hair from the back and viciously yanked her backwards. Punching and slapping until she couldn’t stand, so quick that she couldn’t fight back. She was on her knees when he circled her slowly. Next was a large and forceful boot to her spine, right in between her shoulder blades. She tried desperately to crawl away, really she did, but his boot came down on her many more times.

“Please, please stop!” Marlena’s desperate cries pierced the otherwise silent night air. Of all the nights for the park to be deserted, it had to be this one. She fought furiously with the man dragging her by her hair into the bushes. Kicking and screaming, she tried to get the attention from anyone who may be around. “Help! Please, help me!” But no one appeared.

A hard punch to the side of her head reduced her cries to mere whimpers as her body went limp under the hands of the assailant.

“Don’t…” she whispered meekly as she caught the dark brown eyes staring back at her.

Without a single word the man knelt beside the woman lying beneath him on the dirty soil. With a slender hand he stroked the mussed strands of hair out of her face. The punches hailed over Marlena’s head and face and after a few moments all that was left of her once very attractive and feminine features was a bloody mess. The assailant only stopped when he felt her stop fighting beneath him.

She registered the man giving her a last dig in the ribs, and the feeling of her bag being torn from her limp arm. Then there were footsteps and she was alone. She was bleeding. From quite a few places at that. She knew that her nose, her lip, her arms and one of her legs was bleeding as well. She groaned in pain, trying to muster up the strength to get to her feet but it was useless. She was too sore and too out of it. Soon it all became a blur and the darkness surrounded her.

***

She lay there afraid to move, because every time she did, it felt like her ribcage and her back would snap. Not to mention that her arms and legs were battered and bruised with gashes everywhere from fighting the assault.

She was lucky, according to the ER doctor. No broken bones, just some bruised ribs. The wounds on her face were covered with steri-strips and she had an ice pack to help with the swelling but without even taking a look, she knew it was too late.

She heard someone clear their throat, alerting her that she wasn’t alone anymore. She turned her head to the side and saw the doctor who was treating her. He had an aluminum clipboard with the storage space and he was reading something over. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I’ve been better.” Her voice was hoarse as she used the buttons on the side of the bed to sit up.

He smiled sadly from his position at the foot of her bed. “I have some news, Marlena.”

Roman attached his badge back on his belt once the doctor exited Marlena’s room and joined him in the hall. “Sorry to interrupt you, uhh,” Roman paused, realizing he didn’t get the doctor’s name.

“Dr. Slater.” The man tucked the chart he was holding underneath his left arm.

“My apologies, Dr. Slater.” Roman cleared his throat, looking past the doctor and into Marlena’s room, although unable to see her as she was curled into a ball on the bed. “How is she?”

“She’s awake and stable. She seems to have a pretty good recollection so you shouldn’t have any problems questioning her.”

Roman nodded, relieved. “Did you run a rape kit?”

Dr. Slater looked around, making sure no one was within earshot before speaking. “There’s nothing to indicate she was raped and when asked the patient said she wasn’t raped.”

Roman nodded, putting a hand in his pocket. “What else did she say?”

“She didn’t say much,” the doctor sighed heavily. “She’s rather quiet and reserved, which isn’t unusual in these types of circumstances.”

Roman nodded distractedly. “Right…I’m going to need a report as soon as you possibly can,” he reminded. He had just arrived at the hospital after getting briefed by the officers on the scene at the park and giving his instructions.

Dr. Slater nodded, removing his chart from under his arm and waving it front of him. “I know the drill. I’ll be on it shortly.”

Before the man could return to Marlena, Roman stopped him. “Do you mind if I go in to see her quickly?”

“Not at all. You’ll just have to wait until I’m done with her.” Roman had knocked on the door and pulled him out just as he was about to deliver some news to his patient. Having excused himself, Dr. Slater knew Marlena was waiting to hear what he had to say.

“Of course!” Roman nodded anxiously. “Again, I’m sorry to interrupt. I just needed to know how Marlena was doing.”

Dr. Slater raised an eyebrow. “The patient is fine, as I’ve said. I have to go finish up with her now, but she may not want to be bothered by a detective. She’s seen quite a few police officers and medical examiners already.”

“Well just tell her that detective Roman Brady is here to see her,” he insisted.

The doctor didn’t say anything; he just gave a curt nod and slipped inside Marlena’s room, closing the door behind him.

Marlena sat up straight when she heard him come back in, her watery eyes big and inquisitive.

“Is there anyone I can call for you?” Dr. Slater asked, an empathetic smile plastering his matured face. “Husband, family, or friend? Anyone who can offer you support?”

She ignored his question, cutting straight to the chase. “You said you have some news? What…what is it? What’s wrong?” Her hands clenched the sheet at her sides.

“We ran some tests, in fact we ran them twice and…”

“And what?” She wiped away a tear.

He looked over the paperwork again before meeting her eyes. “The tests show elevated HCG levels. Marlena, you’re pregnant,” he finished, scratching the stubble on his chin.

“I know,” she replied sadly, a hand going to lie protectively on her flat stomach.

He wrote something down in her chart before putting it on the foot of her bed. “How long have you known?”

Marlena smiled sadly, looking down at her hands in her lap. “I took a home pregnancy test earlier today.” She remembered the moment she found out. She never could have imagined how the rest of the night would have turned out.

Dr. Slater nodded understandably. “Do you know how far along you were?”

Her head snapped up instantly. “Were?” her voiced cracked. “Wh-what are you saying? Did I miscarry?” Her heart rate and blood pressure began to rise, alarming the machine.

“Marlena please calm down, you’ve just been through a traumatic event and this stress isn’t good.” The doctor went to silence the machine as he said this.

“Doctor, please just tell me. Did I lose the baby?” she pleaded, afraid of the answer.

He took a seat on the stool next to her bed and looked at her changing vitals. “So far there hasn’t been any indication of that,” he revealed.

Marlena released a sigh of relief, her heart rate and blood pressure beginning to drop little by little instantly.

Dr. Slater stood up then and began palpating Marlena’s abdomen. “Are you having any stomach pains or cramping?” She shook her head. “Okay, good.” Removing his hands, he returned to the stool, taking a deep breath before speaking again. “There hasn’t been any bleeding and like I said, your HCG levels are high, however even if you did just have a miscarriage it would take a few days for your levels to reflect that.”

Marlena nodded her head, feeling numb, not just from the swelling and bruising but also from the anxiety and fear she was experiencing.

“Because of the physical assault you’ve suffered I do want to do an ultrasound to make sure everything is okay.” He waited for her to say anything but she remained silent, only nodding her head slightly.

He returned shortly with the portable ultrasound and quickly began looking around. “Hmm…” The doctor moved the transducer around her stomach, spreading the gel with it trying to get a better view. “It’s hard to tell…There’s no definitive gestational sac.” A sob escaped Marlena’s lips and Dr. Slater tore his eyes from the screen, looking at her sadly. He removed the transducer from her stomach and used his hand to pat her wrist. “We’ll do a transvaginal ultrasound instead. That will allow us to have a better look.”

Dr. Slater handed Marlena a hand towel to wipe the gel from her stomach while he disappeared and went in search of another machine with the right probe. He returned a few minutes later and wheeled the cart towards the bed. With how battered and bruised she was, he was still able to see how distraught she looked. Being a doctor, no matter how many times you face a similar situation or you deliver bad news, it’s never easy.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call anyone for you? Sometimes being alone can make things harder,” he said sympathetically as he set up the machine.

Marlena sniffed. “There’s no one,” she said quietly. She did not want anyone seeing her like this, no matter how much she would like the support.

He nodded sadly and proceeded to lift up the stirrups. Once everything was set up, he put a small amount of gel over the cover of the probe. “Now you will feel some mild pressure but no pain, okay?” When he saw Marlena nod he instructed her to take a deep breath as he inserted the probe gently inside of her.

Marlena avoided the monitor, not wanting to see with her own eyes if her worst fear was coming true. She kept her eyes on the doctor, studying his face, trying to decipher what he was seeing. Her heart dropped when she registered the expression on his face, tears springing to her eyes immediately and her throat tightening making it impossible for her to speak.

“There it is!” Dr. Slater said happily, allowing Marlena a minute to process. She swallowed hard and nodded, a smile spreading across her face just like it had the doctor seconds before. “This dark place here is the gestational sac,” Dr. Slater instructed as he pointed to the screen, circling it. “This is the yolk sac and right off to the side here you can see the fetal pole.”

Marlena remained silent, knowing full well if she were to try to speak that she would lose her composure and become an emotional mess.

“Everything looks good to me.” His finger pointed to a small spot within the sac. “You can even see the little flicker of the heart beating. You see it?” Marlena shook her head. “Right above this place right here.” He pointed again. “Stop breathing just for a second. Right there.”

Marlena let an “oh” escape, her hand going over her mouth.

“Okay you can breathe again.” He clicked some buttons, getting some measurements. “This is from one end of the fetal pole to the other; seven weeks and two days it looks like…Look at that heart just going,” he laughed.

“Thank you,” she cried.

“Even though it’s very little, we might still be able to hear it. Stop breathing for a second.” Dr. Slater clicked on the area where the heart was and played with more buttons until the rapid heartbeat was heard. “You can breathe,” he laughed softly. “It’s so tiny that the slightest movement, even just your breathing, interferes with the picture. But it looks just like it should look.”

“Oh thank you! Thank you,” Marlena cried, looking in awe at the screen.

“There’s only one in there,” he added.

“Perfect.” If she could have she would have stared at the monitor all night long, seeing and listening to her baby’s heartbeat until the morning.

***

“Roman, please, PLEASE don’t tell anyone,” Marlena pleaded. “I don’t want anyone knowing.”

Roman looked her over, his heart breaking for his friend. She looked so small and broken in that big hospital bed. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” she said somberly. “I was walking…Just trying to clear my mind and get perspective,” she remembered. “And then…then,” her chin started to quiver. “Then I felt something pull me by my hair from the back.” With a shaky hand she touched the back of her head where she had felt the pain. “He pulled my hair back and pulled me to the ground and I fell hard on my back,” she continued.

He listened intently, trying to catch something that the officers might have missed earlier. “Did you see his face?”

Marlena shook her head, never looking at him. She had her eyes trained on the wall ahead of her. “He was wearing a mask.”

“Okay. Did he say anything?”

Once again she shook her head, sniffling. “Nothing important. He kept telling me to shut up.”

He took in her face once again. “I’m so sorry this happened to you Marlena.” They were quiet for a moment before Roman spoke again. “One of the officers at the scene told me that the attacker took your purse. Was there anything valuable in there?”

She started to shake her head but this time the pain coursing through stopped her, making her grab her head on both sides and breathe harshly. “My phone maybe,” she said once she composed herself. “My keys. Random girl things.”

“Wallet?”

She thought for a moment, unsure. “I think I left it in my car.”

“Not that this is really any good news, but our guys did manage to find your phone.” Roman pulled it out of his pocket and handed it to her. “It was found in the grass. It must have slipped out during the struggle.”

She smiled faintly and accepted her phone, running her hand over the screen to wipe at the dirt. “Thank you, Roman.”

“Marlena, did you want me to stay?” He offered, not wanting to leave her alone. “I can stay if you’d like.”

She looked up at him then, finally making eye contact. “That’s very sweet but I’d rather be alone right now.”

He nodded softly, putting his hands in his pockets. “There’s going to be an officer posted at your door so you don’t have to worry.” Coming closer, he kissed her softly on the head and left the room, closing the door behind him.

When she was sure he was gone, Marlena curled into a ball in the middle of the bed and began to cry once again, the tears stinging the open wounds on her face. Just as she was drifting off to sleep, her cellphone beeped.

John:I really hope you don’t have any plans tonight because I’m planning on fucking you until you can’t walk straight.

Marlena:I can’t. Sam’s visiting. She lied.

After sending the text she quickly shut off her phone, unable to handle talking to John right now. Her hand came to her stomach as fresh tears continued to fall. She cried at the horrible situation she was in and the fact that she was completely alone. Closing her eyes, she welcomed sleep because it was the only way to end the worst day of her life.

Thunder boomed and lightning shot through the sky, providing brief bits of illumination to the otherwise dark and cloudy evening. Trees were steadily blowing in the wind and rain roughly hitting against the windows and French balcony doors. Ever since the storm had started an hour ago, Marlena had been laying on the couch, staring outside. There was something about storms that had always captivated her; she wasn’t sure what. It could have been the loud claps of thunder. It could have been the streaks of lightning. It could have been the gusting wind or the sound of the rain. Whatever it was, Marlena loved thunderstorms. They proved that even the heavens lose control sometimes.

Reading the clock over again, she saw time moving frustratingly slow. It was only about eight after six. She groaned out of frustration. She had been cooped up in the penthouse since the attack the week before, going crazy with boredom. There was only so much TV she could watch and so much sleep she could get. She found it ironic that she was thinking that right now, when in seven months she’d be begging for more sleep.

“Here’s your tea,” Roman said, coming from the kitchen area. “Sorry it took so long, I couldn’t find the chamomile like you wanted at first.”

Marlena sat up when he sat down on the sofa across from her. “Thank you.” Swatting the stray strands of hair that had fallen from the messy bun from her face, she brought her knees up to her chest and crossed her ankles.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Roman asked, taking in her appearance. She sported a messy bun that was hanging on the side of her head, a quarter of her hair no longer tied up. It looked like she had tied her hair up days ago and it had been unkempt ever since. She wore a baggy Salem U sweatshirt with loose fitting retro shorts.

Marlena shrugged almost in a trance. “Can’t really do anything about it can I?” She thought back to several minutes before when Roman told her the news.

“I’m so sorry to have to tell you that we have nothing on your attacker,” Roman said, ashamed. “We haven’t found your purse yet and no witness has come forward. We checked the cameras outside the park but there was nothing. He must have known where they were in order to avoid them.”

They sat quietly, Roman letting it sink in for Marlena. She tried to put on a brave face but he could see right through her. She was hurt.

“We even checked clinics and hospitals up until the outskirts of town in case he may have gone in with injuries to his hands, but we weren’t that lucky. I even personally looked over every mugging case in the past year and nothing seems to match…We’ll keep trying but this doesn’t look promising.”

“Look, I can have an officer with you for the remainder of the week, but that’s pushing it,” Roman said regretfully. “The commissioner isn’t too pleased about loosing a man but he gave me until Friday.”

She gave a faint smile before blowing on her tea. “I appreciate it, but I think I’m okay. There doesn’t need to be someone here 24/7. There are actual emergencies that these men could be working on. I’ll be alright.”

He frowned. “You positive?”

Just as Marlena was nodding, the doorbell rang unexpectedly. Roman held up a hand to her and went to open the door.

“Roman,” John said, surprised when it wasn’t Marlena who opened the door. He looked past Roman and saw Marlena on the couch, her back to him. “Long time no see, pal. What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Roman replied. “You’re the last person I’d expect to see show up here.”

“If you two want to be alone, I’ll leave,” John said, jealousy seeping through.

“No!” Marlena said from inside. “It’s fine. Roman, let him in.”

Roman looked back at Marlena for a moment, confused because he was unaware of their situation. He was clueless. Marlena nodded her head again. “You heard the lady.” Roman opened the door wider and stepped aside, letting John through.

He tentatively walked in but when his eyes got a good look at her he was by her side in 0.2 seconds. “What the hell happened?” He took her by arms, squeezing a little too hard and Marlena winced.

“I just fell down the stairs.” She gave Roman a pleading look, silently begging him not to say anything.

He loosened his grip but did not let go. He looked her up and down. “This looks pretty serious for a simple tumble down the stairs.”

She shrugged. “Stairs: 1. Marlena: 0.”

John looked worried as he asked, “Are you alright?”

“I was pretty shaken up at first,” she admitted. “I’m doing better.” She finally stepped back and put some distance between them.

“Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?” It made sense now, why she was always busy or she avoided his phone calls and texts.

Looking past John she saw Roman observing their interaction, confused. She cleared her throat and turned her back to both of them. “I didn’t want anyone seeing me like this.”

“Anyone…Except Roman, am I right?” John arched an eyebrow.

Marlena turned around again, taken aback by John’s attitude.

“John, no offence but that’s hardly any of your concern these days isn’t it.” Roman said.

She gave a big eye roll. “Will you both stop it, you’re acting like children,” she said, rather annoyed. After a few breaths she pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed heavily. “Thank you for dropping by,” she looked from one man to the other, “but I just want to be left alone anyways so could you both please go?

“I actually came here to talk to you about something important,” John said seriously.

“John, if she said she wants us to go, we have to go,” Roman intervened.

“Don’t start,” he warned, giving him a side eye.

“Oh no?” Roman took a few steps closer, arms crossed. “I don’t think you, of all people, have a right to be here. Why would she even want you coming around after two years?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” John replied smugly.

“Marlena, am I the only one who finds it odd that he shows up randomly after all the time that’s gone by?”

“Roman,” she shook her head, silently asking him to stop. “It’s fine. I’ll listen to what he has to say, that’s all.”

“Do you want me to stay?” he offered supportively.

“‘Do you want me to stay’,” John repeated. “What are you, man — her bodyguard or something?”

“John, stop it.” She walked up to Roman, taking his arm and leading him to the door. “Thank you for being such a great friend,” she hugged him. “And thank you for dropping by and everything.”

“Anytime,” he tipped her nose. “Sorry I couldn’t give you any good news,” he whispered closely.

Marlena shrugged, not blaming him or the Salem PD. “Goodnight Roman.”

“Are you sleeping with him?” was the first thing to escape John’s lips once the door closed behind Roman.

Marlena’s face dropped. “I beg your pardon?”

“If you’re sleeping with him then there’s no point in me being here right now.”

“Don’t you think that’s a little hypocritical? You can sleep with anyone you choose but I can only sleep with you?” She rolled her eyes and turned away.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he said under his breath.

“No, John, I’m not fucking sleeping with Roman!” Marlena threw her hands up in defeat.

“Could have fooled me,” he retorted.

“Look, I’m too tired for this. I can’t argue with you right now. If you came here for sex you can just go, I’m not in the mood.”

With an even tone John said, “That wasn’t the only reason I came here you know.” Marlena looked at him questioningly. “I sensed something was off and you had been avoiding me since last week so I wanted to see if everything was alright.”

Marlena threw her hands up in the air and smiled sadly, her head softly shaking.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” He approached her slowly, grabbing onto her face with his right hand and tilting her neck back. With his thumb grazing her jaw line, he observed every inch of her face. Every bruise and every cut that had turned into scabs. Her face was now a hue of brown, yellow, and green.

She watched with half open eyes as he skimmed her face, enjoying the feeling of his warm hand against her cheek. “No permanent damage was done and the pain is mostly all gone,” she whispered, trying to gauge his reaction. “The open cuts are closed and healing and there’s only this mix of bruises that are left. Trust me, I look a lot better now than I did.”

His eyes met hers and he said, “I can’t imagine you as anything but a knockout.”

They shared an intense couple of seconds before Marlena smiled shyly and dropped her head, a hand going to wrap around his wrist.

John let go of her face and stepped back, putting some distance between them. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss every single bruise and make the pain go away. “You know you could have told me about the fall. You didn’t have to make up excuses.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just…I didn’t let anyone see me. It’s not just you. And Roman he…well we had some things to discuss, it couldn’t be helped.” She return to the sofa where she reached for her mug and played with the tea bag.

John followed suit, sitting on the sofa opposite her. “Were you embarrassed? Is that why you stayed hidden away?”

She kept her eyes on the now lukewarm water. “I didn’t want anyone to see me as weak or defenseless or that I can’t take care of myself.”

What she was saying wasn’t making much sense to him. “Because of a tumble down the stairs?” He chuckled.

“Right.” She wanted to tell him the truth. She wanted him to be there to support her and make her feel better but she didn’t want him, or anyone, to look at her differently. Like she had no control or power, or like she was a victim.

“You are one of the strongest, most independent and bravest women I know and I dare anyone to call you weak,” John tried to cheer her up. “You’d show them otherwise in a heartbeat.”

A little chuckle escaped past Marlena’s lips while she tried to keep her tears at bay. Her throat was tight but she could not let him see her crying. She didn’t even know why she was crying. Normally she wouldn’t be crying but her hormones were all out of whack.

“These bruises, they mean nothing. They don’t change who you are inside. You’re still the same Marlena that I f…” he trailed off, tearing his gaze away. He looked to the carpet. “They don’t change a thing. They just mean you need a little more TLC.”

Marlena smirked at him. “TLC huh? I’m still not going to sleep with you.”

“What I was referring to was something else that I know you love, besides sex,” he winked. “Ice cream.”

She giggled. “Ice cream,” she said, joy in her voice as she nodded, not expecting him to say that.

“Lets do what we used to do all the time. We’ll park facing the street and watch the cars go by while we eat our ice cream.”

She looked at him like he had lost his mind. “I can’t go out like this.”

“You don’t have to see anyone. You don’t have to speak to anybody.”

“I’m..I can’t. I’m sorry.” She had made up her mind and that was the end of discussion.

John noticed the broken and hollow look that encompassed her. Quickly moving from one sofa to the next he sat close to her and put a hand on the back of the sofa, facing her. “Is there something else going on? I mean, I don’t get why you would be so reclusive and closed off when it was just a fall. It happens to everyone.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You’ve never been self conscious before,” he noted, still not understanding.

“Well I’ve never been beaten up like this before.” Without warning tears sprung to her eyes and she began to sob uncontrollably.

John sat there, a little taken aback and more confused than ever. Pulling her body to his, he rubbed a hand up and down her right arm as she lay her head on his shoulder and cried without restriction.

“John?” she hiccupped after several minutes of crying.

“Hmmm?”

“I..Nothing.” She didn’t raise her head. If she couldn’t tell him about the attack, she certainly wouldn’t be able to tell him about the pregnancy.

“Stand up.” She looked up at him inquisitively. “I know what you need.” He latched onto her hand and pulled her towards the stairs.

She looked at him uncertainty. “I already told you…”

He gave her a loving look and said, “I respect that, but it’s not what you think it is.”

“Oh?”

“A bath is just the thing you need right now. It’ll help you to relax and it will ease the sore muscles too.”

Marlena followed him up to her bedroom where John proceeded to start a bubble bath with Epsom salt for her. He gently helped her to undress. He started with her shorts, sliding them down her long legs slowly and standing up straight once again to help with the sweatshirt.

Marlena stood silently as he undressed her tenderly. Next was her bra. She shuddered when his fingers slid along her back until they reached the clasp of her bra. It fell to the floor between their feet and he was left standing in only her underwear.

Noticing the bruises on her body, John gasped. “Jesus, Marlena.”

“I’m okay,” it was said just above a whisper.

He skimmed the fingers of his right hand over her bruised ribs, feeling every bone as she breathed in harshly. His other hand skimmed her back, between her shoulder blades, where the other bruises were. He looked in the mirror, running his fingers around the bruises. Tearing his eyes from the mirror, he looked down at her.

They were standing very closely. Marlena had her eyes closed and goose bumps covering her skin as she tried to even her breathing. Her breath hitched in her throat when the hand on her back started to descend lower, John’s index finger skimming down her spine slowly. He continued to observe her. The way her body reacted to his touch and their closeness, her shaky breaths, her closed eyes and slightly parted lips, her nipples standing erect…It all made John’s member twitch.

When his hand reached the elastic waistband of her underwear, he stopped. With a final stroke of a thumb on her rib cage, John gently pushed apart from her. “I better go,” he whispered. He placed a kiss on her forehead and left her standing there alone.

An unexpected knock caused Marlena to tentatively walk to the door and place her left hand on the wooden surface and ask, “Who is it?”

“It’s John,” she heard back.

Opening the door, she smiled meekly at him.

“Sorry for just showing up unannounced. I knew if I called or texted that you would have told me not to come.”

He got that right. “Then why did you?”

He took a step closer and leaned against the doorframe. “Just wanted to see how you were doing and I brought you something that might help cheer you up.” He brought his hand up, showing the grocery bag with a carton of ice cream in it.

“I certainly can’t say no to that!” She waved him in giddily, a real smile on her face for the first time in over a week.

“I’ll go get us some bowls while you turn the TV on,” John offered, disappearing down the hall and coming back a few minutes later with two bowls of cookie dough ice cream. “For you Madame,” he offered her. He sat next to her, making himself comfortable. “So, what are we watching?”

Marlena grinned, resting the spoon against her bottom lip. “You see, since I’m the one that needs some cheering up I think that we should watch something that would help in your mission to cheer me up.”

“Which is?” John was almost afraid to ask. He expected some sappy reality show like The Bachelor or something. He cringed at the thought.

With a mischievous grin, Marlena pressed play on the remote control and raised both eyebrows in excitement.

He laughed softly at her before looking at the screen, relieved when he was wrong. “Oh this?” He laughed. “This is fine.” He would take a soap opera over reality television any day. Digging into his ice cream, he sat back and watched All My Children with Marlena like they used to do.

“But Opal, I have dreamed about being in the movies since I was a little girl,” a petite brunette wearing a purple strapless blouse explained as two women stood in the middle of a luxury penthouse. “And yes, I mean Pine Valley’s come a long way over the years, but it’s still not the corner of Hollywood and Vine.”

“No,” the tall strawberry blonde agreed with her friend, “but can’t you be happy on the corner of Main Street and Pine with the man who loves you and who you love? I mean, Pine Valley is your home.” A doorbell interrupted as she tried to convince her friend. 

Feeling eyes on her, Marlena turned and caught John staring at her “What?” She smirked.

John’s eyes darted back to the screen. “Nothing.”

They both went back to watching the show until moments later she felt him again. “Seriously, why are you looking at me?”

“It’s just that look. That look written all over your face when you watch your soaps. You’re captivated and happy and kind of like you’re at peace.” He didn’t share the rest, he did not want to upset or cause her any sadness, but he had been observing the bruising. His heart hurt just seeing her petite form all battered and bruised.

“Stop looking at me,” she laughed.

With a small smirk, John pointed to the TV screen. “I had forgotten why I used to sit there with you for hours on end while you caught up on your stories. Now I remember.”

“Okay,” she laughed. “But can we get back to it? This is a Susan Lucci scene.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” John held up his hands in mock defeat. “I forgot that I have to be quiet when Erica Kane is on,” he finished with a small eye roll.

He waited for a commercial break before daring to look at her again.

“Thank you for the ice cream.” Marlena took both hers and John’s bowls and placed them on the coffee table before sitting back on her legs. “And thank you for watching AMC with me.” She looked down at her fingers in her lap and smiled. “Mission accomplished,” she said, not looking at him.

With two fingers under her chin, John tipped her head up to meet her eyes. “What was that?” he asked.

“I said,” she breathed, sliding closer to him. “Mission accomplished.” She smiled, looking deeply into his eyes. After a few minutes Marlena cleared her throat and looked down, putting a bit of distance between them. She looked up again she found him staring at her lips, and found herself doing the same. They moved in, drawing closer together.

“What are you doing?” she whispered, her eyes fluttering closed.

“Do you want me to stop?” his voice was a low, husky whisper.

She couldn’t muster a response, and instead, fell into him, wrapping her arms around his strong shoulders and pressed her lips to his own. His scent enveloped her, and he returned the motion, hugging his arms around her back.

The kiss left his lips tingling, his head a cloud of fog, feeling nothing except her and a desire to touch, and kiss, even more of her. He yanked her closer, squeezing her hips with a low, throaty growl. She smiled into the kiss and relaxed in his arms, her hands moving to stroke his chest over the fabric of his shirt.

Eventually, they parted, resting their foreheads together as they caught their breath, the universe had shrunk around them, so it was just the pair, and their flushing faces.

“Come here,” she growled and pushed him back against the sofa.

“Ma-“ He was cut off by another heated kiss, as she stretched out over him. He replied in kind, grabbing her plump rear hard, eliciting a squeak from her, gasping as she drew back. The kiss slowed then, the tension easing, mouths opened and tongues probed, exploring, gentle murmurs of pleasure as their bodies pressed closer together.

They drew back again, breathing slowed, eyes half lidded, and gazed for a moment. Marlena spoke first, “Was the ice cream just a cover for this?”

“Not exactly. But you know I can never control myself around you” he said back, sliding a hand over her waist, pressing through the fabric of her thin t-shirt. His hands ran lower, underneath her shorts, lifting the hem to stroke her upper thighs. He gave them a testing squeeze, fingers sinking into her soft, pale skin.

She hummed approvingly and pushed her hips forwards, hands moving around his shoulders. She leaned towards him and buried her face into his neck, her gasps of eager anticipation louder in his ear. She kissed his throat as she climbed over his lap, straddling him. She couldn’t help but giggle, which only made him squeeze her harder.

He smirked and grabbed her ass, hard, and a bolt of delight shot through her. “Oh!” She bit down onto his covered collarbone to muffle her gasps. Suddenly she was lifted from the sofa; she wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her up the stairs and to her bedroom. He kissed her lips passionately as he made his way to her bed, stopping as his knees pressed against the bed. Gently and with one hand supporting the back of her head and the other holding onto her left thigh, he eased them onto the bed, only breaking the kiss to run his tongue down her throat and to the valley between her breasts.

“Hmmm,” she sighed in approval, wrapping her legs tighter around his torso.

He pressed her wrists down to the bed as he kissed her neck, his rough chin tickling her skin.

“This is definitely cheering me -“ Her words melted as he bit down on her pale throat. “Cheering me up,” she tried again, only for his hands to play with them hem of her shirt. His mouth slipped lower and lower still, kissing down the plunge in her neckline, his rough hands brushing just over her sides. Eventually he knelt in front of her, as if at an altar.

She felt her blush deepen, spreading from her chest to her cheeks. He raised her creamy thighs onto each of his shoulders, tilting his head to kiss them in turn, lips lingering, and stubble scratching against her. His mouth drew closer to her core and Marlena felt her breath hitch in her throat as his thick fingers tugged at the hem of her simple cotton panties.

John slowly drew her shorts and the underwear down her thighs. “Relax. Let me take care of you,” he breathed hotly against her skin. He dropped the clothes off the side of the bed, his muscles moving as he crawled up the bed. He lay across the foot of her bed, his legs dangling off the edge, still in his jeans. He took in the scent of her arousal, releasing a growl of approval, and suddenly, his tongue dragged over her lower lips.

Marlena arched her back, pushing her hips up eagerly as her eyes fluttered closed as he wrapped his lips around her clit, his stubble scratching at her most sensitive parts. “More,” she panted.

She didn’t need to repeat herself. John scooped her up, and lifted her hips from the bed, pinning her shoulders down. His hands were under her, squeezing her full ass as he sucked on her clit, lathering it with his tongue. She glanced down at him, his eyes closed in concentration. He drew back to catch his breath, chin wet with saliva and her juices.

“You taste so good,” he sighed.

“Keep tasting then,” Marlena purred, meeting his eyes.

John looked up at her, suddenly more aroused then he had been a second ago. He returned his mouth to her clit happily.

She curled his fingers through his hair tugging approvingly as he hit the right spots, mercilessly sucking and lapping at her clit. The room was silent except for the sound of her labored breathing, and his ministrations.

“Yes…” she gasped, her fingers tightening. “Oh yes, right there,” she breathed desperately, screwing her eyes shut, her body tensing. “Just-Just…” John pulled away unexpectedly, and she panted, trying to catch her breath. “What?”

“Not yet,” he whispered, a smirked plastered on his face as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He didn’t say anything else, but he stripped his shirt off and made to unbuckle his belt.

Marlena sat up on her elbows, watching him, her eyes tracing where the lines of his abdominals vanished under the waist of his jeans.

“Here.” She leaned forward, moving his hands away, her own, trembling slightly from the excitement. “Let me do it.”

He swallowed, and lay down on the bed, lifting himself up slightly to allow her to tug his jeans off his hips. They came off slowly, the denim felt rough against her hands, and she could feel her heart thundering in her chest. John squirmed a little to help her shed the last of his pants and she looked over his strong, lean figure with an appreciative eye.

“Well this hardly seems fair,” he teased, “Here I am, all exposed, and you’re still wearing your shirt.”

She stuck out her tongue, reaching for the hem of her shirt. “I was getting to that.” She lifted the white shirt over her head, turning the it inside out, and let it fall to the growing pile of clothing at the foot of her bed. Her body was still bruised and it pained him to see it. She moved her slender arms back to remove her bra, when John sat up, the smell of his cologne filling her nose.

“Here,” he said, voice deep, leaning his mouth in close to her ear, “let me do it.” The bra came off with a fluid, practiced movement, and he tossed it off the bed. “Perfect,” he said, cupping one of her breasts, pinching her nipple gently between two fingers. She breathed out a sigh and kissed his forehead for attention, catching his lips as he looked up. He closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, holding and squeezing her breasts with both hands now, gentle fingers roving over her sensitive skin. Her breathing became heavier, as she pushed herself closer to him, forcing John to wrap his arms around her.

Holding her close, the pair tumbled back onto her soft bed, the multitudes of pillows silencing their fall. They kept kissing for what felt like forever, tiny jolts of delight shooting through their body, sparking from their touching lips. Marlena squeaked as John’s roving hands, which had so soothingly been stroking her back, had suddenly grabbed two handfuls of her ass. She broke the kiss to gasp. “What is it about my butt?” she asked, while at the same time, pushing it back into his eager hands.

“Have you seen your ass? It’s amazing.”

She rolled her eyes as his rough palms kneaded her rear. “Hmh… That’s nice.” She lifted her hips up a little more, as John spread her cheeks roughly. She glanced down, underneath her body, and frowned. “Well, now who’s being unfair?”

John was drawn back from his focused groping. “Hmm?”

“Here I am, all exposed…” She rolled off onto her side, and grabbed his package through his boxers. “And you’re still clothed.”

John laughed and lifted his own hips up a bit, making his abs flex in a very appealing way. “Of course, how rude of me.” He gave her a cheeky smile, dark eyes glinting. “Want to do the honours?”

She pulled off his boxers and bit her lip as his thick cock sprang out. She sank down onto her side again, holding his cock lightly as she stroked it, scooching up a little to nestle herself into John’s neck.

He groaned and his own hand moved down, to touch and circle her sensitive clit with his fingers. She sighed happily and leaned in to kiss him, finding his tongue there to meet her. She locked tongues with him, tilting her head to deepen the kiss, and cuddled up to his side as they stroked and teased each other, the occasional moan or sigh of delight emanating from the pair.

The touches grew firmer, more desperate, their mixing breaths were ragged and deep. They drew back from the kiss and gazed into each other’s eyes, seeing the smoldering embers of passion burning behind them.

Placing a lasting kiss onto her lips, John slowly kissed his way down her body. His lips brushing and his tongue occasionally coming out to lick a line down to her middle. John began kissing her vertical lips with his mouth as wide open as he could. Just like biting into a fresh peach, he could get all her juices this way. And her juices…oh, they began to flow quickly.

He looked up and smiled up at her.

She smiled and pushed his head back down onto her.

John started licking and exploring her luscious pussy while he helped hold her legs up. Her legs wrapped around his head and shoulders as his tongue burrowed deep into her vagina, stretching her walls. Closing his eyes, he made love to her with his mouth. Only pausing occasionally to swallow more of her juices, he increased the pace of licks and tongue thrusts. He could feel her moving with him and heard her moaning.

Putting three fingers together, John started burrowing into her love tunnel a few millimeters at a time. He slid up and began lavishing attention onto her clitoral area with his mouth. She clamped her legs harder on his head when his fingers fucked her faster and his mouth sucked her clit.

With a smirk, he curled his fingers towards her tummy and tickled her vagina, right there… yes… that’s the spot!

She suddenly clenched her legs and pussy tight while she moaned a quiet “Fuck.” A sudden rush of juice flooded into John’s mouth as he smiled and lapped it all up. Collapsing on her back, her legs quivering and dangling over his shoulders, Marlena fought to catch her breath.

Without wasting any time, John lifted her legs up by her calves and positioned his cock at her entrance, letting his tip rub against her slick lips. Leaning his body over hers, he lavished her body with light kisses, letting her come down from her high.

“John,” Marlena breathed heavily, her eyes glazed over with passion.

He silenced her with his lips, entangling his tongue with hers in a carnal kiss. One hand was wrapped behind her head while the other held her right hand down to the mattress. Their bodies moved together at the same speed as their lips, writhing and rubbing, wanting nothing more than to be joined as one.

Marlena let out a deep breath when John pulled away from her and reached for something on the floor. Sitting up, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and began kissing his shoulder blades, softly tugging his body down with her. When she finally got him on his back, she leaned over and captured his lips in another breath stealing kiss.

John groaned after what felt like an eternity and ordered her to lie down. His tone of voice and his command caused the valley between her legs to tingle and become even wetter. She watched as he ripped open the package and put the condom on, thinking that it was too late for that now.

Slowly, John pushed the head inside her… God, she felt so good! Her velvety walls welcomed him and resisted him at the same time. He pulled her legs together and held them against his chest as he fucked her pussy slowly at first.

That hot liquid friction between them drove John crazy, and he could see it affecting Marlena also. Her moans and sighs matched his as he sped up the rhythm. Licking and nibbling her smooth calves, he made sure to thrust hard into her, loving the high pitched moans that she did every time he hit her back wall.

He leaned forward, pushing her legs almost against her chest and rested a hand on her throat but didn’t squeeze. His cock slammed harder and harder into her pussy, her body taking an enormous amount of pounding as the sound of their bodies slapping together resonated in the room. “Fuck, Marlena,” he groaned as he picked up his pace even more, grunting each time he pounded into her.

He opened his eyes and stared down at her. Oh fuck. Look at her gorgeous face, her mouth open in an “O” shape as she moaned and breathed harshly, her breasts pushed up to her neck due to the pressure of her thighs pressed up against her. Her pussy just felt so awesome…

“Can’t… hold… it… back…” he warned her. His throbbing cock was going to burst, her could feel it approaching like a freight train and there was nothing that could stop it. Preparing for the inevitable end, he slammed his hips into her with such force that she screamed out in pleasure.

“John! Oh..Oh…slow d-down,” she pleaded with him.

He allowed his hips to slow down some but it wouldn’t do much to prolong his release. “You feel too damn good, baby.”

Baby? “Not so hard. Not yet…little more,” she panted, wanting this to last as long as possible. She never wanted it to end.

John was probably was able to delay a total of four or maybe five seconds, and hoped it was enough! He was too far gone to stop now. The dam burst and his cum shot out squirt after glorious squirt.

As his cock throbbed in her, Marlena’s own release crept up on her, her pussy clamping down on him tightly as her orgasm began. Her moans of pleasure filled the bedroom and John’s ears, bringing joy to his heart at the knowledge that he could bring her to such an intense amount of pleasure.

John parted her legs and slumped down on top of Marlena and they kissed hard and passionately at first, and then the kisses turned slow and gentle like true lovers who know each other so well.

He slipped from her body and stretched out on his side beside her, his arm supporting this head.

“You, you are amazing.” Her eyes twinkled as she complimented him.

John’s fingers found her sex again and invaded her person. They kissed open-mouthed and she sometimes pulled back a little, their lips barely touching as she breathed through her mouth while they kissed. He found it so erotic to be sharing her breath that he was nearly overwhelmed with emotions as he brought her to her third orgasm with his fingers.

They lay on either side of the bed, enjoying the afterglow and the peace and quiet. Or so John thought. That’s what he was doing but it was different for Marlena. She lay there emotional, overcome with feelings of love for the man that no longer loved her in return, feelings of sadness for the physical trauma she endured the week before and feelings of fright and uncertainty associated with her pregnancy and what that entailed for her future and the future of her unborn child.

Tears quietly sprang to her eyes, all the emotions coming to the surface and spilling over. She closed her eyes, hoping to keep the tears from escaping her eyes and alerting John.

Despite her best efforts, he noticed the change in her breathing and turned his head to the side, noticing her tear stained cheek. “What’s with the tears? I didn’t hurt you did I?” He was now beginning to panic, remembering when she asked him to go slower. He had been so caught up in the moment that he hadn’t thought of the shape she was in or her pain.

Marlena used both hands to brush her tears away. “It’s nothing, really.”

“Come on,” he played with hair at her shoulder. “I know you. You don’t cry without a good reason.”

She sat up against the headboard, wrapping the thin sheet around herself and covering her mouth with the back of her fingers. “Maybe my emotions have been out of whack the past week.”

John looked up at her, still laying down. “See, I knew there had to be a valid reason. Want to talk about it?”

She shrugged. “It feels like my life is spiraling out of control lately.”

He sat up in bed, moving to sit in front of her with his legs crossed. “Tell me what makes you think that.” Marlena arched an eyebrow. “Doctor patient confidentiality,” he smirked, pulling the sheet over his lap.

She laughed through her tears. “Well doctor,” she emphasized, “it’s not that I don’t want to talk about it, it’s that I don’t know how.”

“What makes you say that?”

She looked at him with regret written over her face. “Because I know how people will react once I do say it.”

“Why don’t you practice with me?” John grabbed onto her calves and lifted them over his left thigh. “Maybe that will help you gain the confidence you need. Kind of like an oral presentation.”

She watched as John softly rubbed her bare skin, the sadness seeping through again. “I wish it were as simple as a presentation…I just don’t know how to say what I have to say. It’s not something that can just be blurted out.”

“Tell me, I’ll help you,” he offered with a hopeful smile.

Marlena took in the sight of him sitting before her, rubbing her legs that lay over his thigh, his toned abs and hairy chest. It felt like old times. “I can’t…not right now.”

“Okay,” he sighed. “Is there anything I can do that will help some?”

“You know what..I think I just need to rest.” She pulled her legs away and wrapped her arms around her knees.

“That’s probably a really good idea…I’ll let myself out.” John slowly rose from the bed and got dressed once again. Leaning one hand on the mattress and the other on the headboard, he leaned in close to her and said goodbye. “I’ll lock up on my way out. Is the code still the same?” He kissed her forehead softly after she whispered that it was still the same.

Walking down the steps, John slipped on his shoes and closed the lamps and the main light. Coming to the alarm system, he punched in the code that would activate the alarm and he opened the door. Once he heard the beep from the machine signaling the alarm was on, he closed the door. Except he didn’t leave.

The moonlight was the only source of light and John liked the way it cast shadows across the room. He was laying on the sofa, one hand pulled underneath his head while the other drummed its fingers against a cushion propped between the back of the sofa and his thigh. He occasionally looked at his watch to see if the numbers on the clock had changed. They had. It now read 1:02am, but it felt like he’d been laying there for an eternity rather than two hours. One of the drawbacks of having his own business was all the business and conference calls that had to be made to overseas during the night, messing with his sleeping pattern.

He had tried quietly wandering around the main floor of the penthouse until he was tired enough to go to sleep but that idea had been a bust. He had done a mini workout comprised of pushups and sit-ups, tried reading one of the books that Marlena had in the den but romance novels were not his idea of fun, he replied to work emails and read some proposals, he even played a couple games on his phone but he was still wide awake.

The stillness of the night caused him to overthink things. His mind was turning and turning without end in sight and there was only one thing that could calm him down. Unfortunately that thing was Marlena and she was upstairs sleeping, not to mention that John was supposed to have left hours earlier.

As he lay there staring at the ceiling waiting for slumber to overtake his body, he replayed the evening’s events over and over again. Even with all the bruises and cuts, Marlena looked so beautiful when she smiled and for a few seconds John was able to forget the mess inside of him.

It was all about sex for me. She’s the best fuck I have ever had and I would find myself thinking about how kinky, hot, sweaty and intense the sex was. I could do anything to her and she would love it, she would beg for more…It had been almost a year since I fucked her last and we both had moved on but I found myself craving the kinky, slutty sex more and more so I texted her and that brings us to tonight.He snorted. One little text. If I hadn’t sent that text, life would be so different. I wouldn’t be so fucked up inside.

John banished his thoughts for a few minutes, surprising himself. He thought of baseball instead but soon that circled back to Marlena. They were two people who were like fire and gasoline, and they couldn’t quite figure out how to make it work.

I pretend that it was never good when people ask why we ended. I tell them we were young, that we fought more than we loved and that the entire relationship was exhausting and I’m glad to be out of it. But lately I’ve been thinking…The truth is I’ve never seen a pair of eyes like yours and I can’t seem to shake the feeling I get when I’m with you. 

Maybe it was your laugh, or your eyes, or your smile. It could have been your hair or your voice, or maybe your personality. Whatever it was, I just know it made me fall pretty damn hard. So hard in fact, that I’m beginning to wonder if I let the wrong person go… 

You don’t cheat on someone that you love; you just can’t do that. You wouldn’t even consider it if it were true love. If you can cheat on someone you claim to be in love with, you’re not in love. If I could do that to Rebecca, was it because I still had feelings left over for Marlena? ​

He closed his eyes harshly, willing his train of thought to stop.

I’m sorry for messing it up the first time, he regretted. I know I can’t take back what I said to her or what I did, and I especially can’t take back the fact that I hurt her but I wish that I could. I can’t even look at her these days without feeling the regret and wondering where we would be right now if I hadn’t screwed it up. 

His quiet was disturbed when he heard Marlena stumbling upstairs, quickly followed by the sound of her throwing up. He sat up quickly, straining his head to look over the balcony. He could see the small glare of a light, probably the bathroom, he thought, and he wondered if he should go up and check on her. He wanted to make sure she was all right and see if he could do anything to help but he remembered that he was not supposed to be there. Marlena had no idea he was inside her home still.

He sat back, straining his ears to know what was happening. He heard her empty her stomach a couple more times in the following ten minutes, along with a flush of the toilet and the sound of the faucet running. A few moments after the water stopped running, he heard the sound of drawers sliding open and closed again, following the sound of Marlena clearing her throat. Silence once again filled the apartment.

Once he got the sense that she was back in bed, John himself returned to his laying position, turning to his side and gazing into the starry sky. He’d never admit it aloud but he knew that even though they couldn’t make it work, he was glad that she had been a part of his life. He may regret the way they ended but he would never regret what they had, because at that time it was exactly what he wanted. He really did love her at one time.

He thought back to one of their arguments from several months back. They sat in John’s kitchen in the booth seating area, Marlena staring down at her hands as she told him she wished she never agreed to have sex with him again, that she never should have agreed to be his mistress for as long as she did. He knew she meant it. She was a good person and deep down John knew it was bothering her but he only cared about his needs.

His mind then thought back to the many times that he promised to love her forever. The times when he told her he would never leave her. He promised to love her and never let her go. I said I wouldn’t and I fucking did.

With a heavy sigh, John stood up from the sofa and quietly made his way up the stairs and into Marlena’s bedroom. She seemed so peaceful and relax, he noted. Lying beside her he thought,it’s always going to be there, isn’t it? You and I. He sighed and moved a strand of hair from her forehead. She lay on her left side, her right hand hanging off her waist. She looked so peaceful as she slept. He watched her sleeping form for a while, just looking as she breathed and occasionally sighed, her eyelids twitching as she dreamt. At one point a small smile spread across her face and John himself smiled.

Laying himself down beside her, he promised himself he would just stay for a few short minutes. All he wanted was to be in her presence, like he would literally be happy just being next to her in silence. He closed his eyes, breathing in her scent and enjoying the peace that surrounded him in that moment.

A few hours passed, the sun creeping into the room through the curtains, casting rays of light onto the bodies occupying the bed. Blinking rapidly, Marlena brought a hand up to cover her eyes, shielding herself off from the offensive light. She sighed contently as she stirred, slowly opening her eyes and getting accustomed to the daylight. When her eyes settled to her surroundings, Marlena’s vision landed on a body lying beside her in bed. Jumping up, she yelled, not registering right away that it was John beside her.

“What the fuck are you doing!” she exclaimed once she recognized him, her heart still racing.

John shot up immediately, his mind still foggy from sleep. Shit, he thought. He was supposed to close his eyes for only a couple of minutes. He was supposed to be gone before she woke up. Running a tired hand over his face he said, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“How did you get in and why are you here? In my bed!” Because she was startled and had jumped up, the thin sheet was no longer covering her and she suddenly felt John’s eyes on her. Going to sleep naked and after having been sick during the night, she threw on black panties and a plum colored sports bra before crawling back into bed. Marlena grabbed the sheet and brought it up to her chest, feeling exposed.

John yawned. “I never left.”

“What the fuck?” She extended her arm and shoved him on the shoulder.

He held up his hands in defeat. “Don’t be mad. I just…I couldn’t leave you…alone. You just looked so vulnerable and I…I can’t explain it.” Marlena groaned. “I just thought you needed someone to be there for you.”

Marlena rubbed her palms over her forehead in frustration. “Well that’s not your job, now is it,” she shot at him.

He rested his back against the headboard and stretched. “I’ll go,” he yawned. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“I’m fine.”

He was making his way out of the room when he stopped in the doorway and turned to look at her. “Are you feeling better?”

Running her fingers through her hair, she fluffed it up, trying to not make it look like a hot mess. “Huh?”

“I heard you when you were sick last night.”

Marlena’s eyes widened and she swallowed, absentmindedly running a hand over her stomach. “Uh..I..I must have eaten something bad I guess.”

“Hopefully it wasn’t the ice cream,” he suggested.

Her anger subsided a little and she gave a little smirk, looking to the side at him. “I don’t believe it was the ice cream. I think you’re safe.”

John nodded his head and continued his exit, knowing he had overstayed his welcome. It wasn’t until he had made it to the staircase that he heard her calling after him.

“John wait!” She was standing in the doorway when John turned around, a robe thrown quickly over her shoulders, untied.

He only had time to raise an inquiring eyebrow before Marlena’s face turned green and she ran away. He hurriedly followed her to her bathroom and knelt down beside her, holding her hair back as she emptied the contents of her stomach.

As she continued to be sick, Marlena hoped that John would just leave. His hands on her back and in her hair were causing her anxiety. The last thing she wanted right now was for him to find out the truth.

“It’s okay,” he whispered soothingly, one hand reaching into the top right drawer of the floating vanity. Once his fingers grasped a hair clip, he clipped her hair up and continued rubbing her back up and down, feeling her spine as she retched.

“I need a minute,” she breathed heavily, not lifting her head from the bowl.

He nodded understandingly and left her alone in the bathroom. His first thought was to wait for her in the bedroom but he decided against it. Instead, he went for the kitchen, starting some steaming hot coffee for himself and some tea for Marlena.

He heard her soft footsteps several minutes later and saw her enter the room. She had tied the bathrobe closed and her hair was still tied back by the clip that he had put in, but she looked rough. She looked exhausted and very very pale. He raised a hot mug her way. “Thought you might like some peppermint tea.” He put it on the island and pulled out a stool for her to sit on.

She quietly thanked him and avoided eye contact. “What I wanted to say before was that I’m sorry for overreacting when I woke up and found you in my bed.”

“You didn’t overreact,” he shrugged a shoulder, bringing the mug of coffee to his lips. “Anyone would react the same way if they woke up to a stranger in their bed when they went to bed alone.”

She looked into her mug, seeing her reflection. “You’re not a stranger.”

“That is true,” he agreed, chuckling under his breath. “But you weren’t expecting me to be there and that was wrong of me. I should have left when I said I was.”

“Next time,” she winked at him, finally looking at him. She was glad that he did not mention her being sick again. If he did, she didn’t know how she would handle it. She didn’t want to lie to him but she was not ready to tell him the truth either.

He raised an eyebrow at her suggestion. “Next time huh?”

“Yes. I’ll escort you out myself.” She smirked.

“Well you could technically do that now.” John finished his coffee and put the mug in the dishwasher, leaning his backside against the counter once he finished. He caught Marlena’s eye and wondered what she was thinking.

“You know,” she began, looking away, “you could stay, if you wanted to…You don’t have to. But if you want to,” she paused, her eyes travelling up to meet his across the room, “you can,” she finished.

There was an awkward silence as they looked at each other. John let out a breath and whispered, “Do you want me to stay with you?”

“I want you to stay with me.” Intense eye lock. “I’ve been cooped up in this apartment for over a week with minimal interaction and I’ve been bored out of my mind so you staying would be a welcomed distraction.”

John pretended to think about it, puffing his cheeks out and letting a deep breath escape. “I guess,” he scratched the back of his head, shrugging.

Despite her best effort, Marlena smiled. “Thank you,” she said sincerely.

“I know it’s not even ten yet but could I maybe make you some chicken noodle soup? You need to eat but I don’t want you to be sick again either.”

She was quick to shake her head, not even wanting to think about food. “I’m not hungry.”

He observed her, hoping it wasn’t the flu because he couldn’t afford to get sick. “Still feeling nauseous?”

“No!” she was quick to answer. “No, I’m fine now. This tea is perfect for now.” She smiled and took a sip, acting normal.

John left his position across the room and pulled up a seat beside her, leaning his arms along the countertop. “What else did you eat yesterday? If you haven’t left the house all week, you couldn’t have caught the flu. Do you have a fever or a headache?”

Marlena laughed. “When did you go to medical school Dr. Black?”

“I learnt it from my doctor.” The moment turned serious as they locked eyes and John began to lean in closer to her.

Clearing her throat, Marlena put a hand on his shoulder and pulled away, looking down. She shook her head softly as she said, “I was just sick.” She looked at him regretfully when she saw the longing in his eyes.

​John was slouched on the couch watching a baseball game when Marlena came down the stairs, as she towel dried her hair. “Um John, aren’t you late for work?” It was almost eleven and usually he would have been in the office hours ago but there he sat, feet propped up on the coffee table as he watched his team hit one out of the park.

When she first stepped into the shower over a half hour ago, John had called his assistant to inform her of his absence for the day. He sensed that being there with Marlena was more important than going into work that day. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was off.

When she sat next to him, he straightened up. “I’m sorry, I was caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice,” she began, brushing her hair to one side. “I’m sorry for keeping you. Now go!”

He laughed. “Perks of being the boss,” he shrugged. “I’ll leave if that’s what you want though?”

“You can stay,” she offered nonchalantly.

John observed her as she continued to comb through her hair, finding it strange how normal it was to be there with her as they both did their own thing. “Could I borrow your computer?” he asked suddenly. “I can get some work done from here really quickly.”

The morning passed quickly as each of them worked on their separate things. John sat at the desk with Marlena’s laptop, handling some office business, while Marlena sat on the sofa with a patient’s file, a notepad and a psychiatry book. She was reading through the file, then her book, taking notes when John approached her from behind, leaning over the back of the couch, laptop in hand.

“Want to take a look?” He offered her the computer, remaining behind her with his forearms leaning against the back of the couch. “This is an exclusive first look at our new children’s line.”

“I love these,” she said wholeheartedly, looking over her shoulder and up at him. She could just imagine their child dressed up in his or her father’s newest Baby Black line. She gushed at the thought. “Mothers are going to love these, trust me,” she said to him. She continued to scroll down, looking from sketch to sketch. “Is Brooke still the designer?”

“She is, although, we have someone else working on the Baby Black line,” he explained. “Brooke’s focus is primarily on our men and women’s lines.”

“She’s doing great work.” When John raised an eyebrow at her, she reciprocated. “Yes, I still pay attention to the happenings at Basic Black,” she answered his unasked question.

That surprised him, quite frankly. John did not expect her to keep up with all things Basic Black after he broke her heart. But Marlena couldn’t help it. She had been there at the start and she was very proud of all that he had accomplished. She felt very protective of the company, even if it wasn’t her own.

John cleared his throat. “Are you feeling any better?”

“I do.” Marlena tore her eyes from the computer screen. “I’m actually getting hungry. Did you want to have lunch with me?”

“Only if I get to cook. No offense, but I don’t trust your newfound skills,” he mocked, his lip curling into a grin.

“You won’t hear any complaints from me. I like being taken care of.” She regretted it as soon as she said it, not meaning to imply that she wanted him to take care of her or that she thought that that’s what was going on. “Uh, not anything too heavy, please.”

He had made his way around the couch and took the laptop from her, closing it and placing it on the coffee table. “Anything in mind?”

“No, knock yourself out,” she smiled quickly, eyes focusing again on her file.

“I’ll be back,” he called back, disappearing into the kitchen.

***

In the quiet space, the sound of a pen tappingincessantly on a page could be heard, along with the occasional heavy sigh. The tapping went on steadily for minutes on end until John finally spoke up.

“Stop it.” His voice broke through Marlena’s trance.

“What?” She turned her torso around, her left arm resting on the back of the couch.

He was typing away at an email, not looking at her. “Whatever you’re worrying about. Just stop.”

“How do you know I’m worried? You didn’t even look at me.”

He stopped typing and turned his head her way. It was cute that she thought he needed to look at her. He could read her without ever laying eyes on her. He knew her better than anybody else in this world; heck, he knew her better than he knew himself. “You think I need to see you with my eyes to know what’s going on with you?”

Timidly, she averted her eyes. They were still so connected and in tune with each other. She wondered if that would ever go away.

John furrowed his brows momentarily, sensing that there was more. Sighing, he got up and joined her on the couch, moving her papers so he could sit beside her. “Come on Marlena, I can tell you want to let it out. What better person to tell than me? You know I’m a good listener and I won’t say anything.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Sure it is. You go ‘John…’ and then you say whatever it is that you need to get off your chest.”

When she opened her mouth to speak again the doorbell rang.

“Saved by the bell,” he winked and chuckled.

“Would you mind getting it?” She pointed to her face as explanation.

He placed a hand on her left knee and squeezed before leaving her side and opening the penthouse door.

“John!” Laura exclaimed from the hall, surprise written all over her face as she looked past him and into the apartment.

“It’s always nice to see you Laura.” They made small talk as Laura walked in, making her way to the seat that John had just vacated beside Marlena.

Laura looked horrified when she took in Marlena’s appearance. “Honey, are you alright?”

Marlena hated being a victim; she just wanted her bruises to heal over and forget about what happened. “Getting better! It’s my ego that was hurt more than anything. How did you know?”

“Roman called me and told me to come over whenever I could. He thought that you might need me.” Laura had not known. She simply had a feeling something was wrong when Roman called; her instincts were right.

“He was right.” The friends hugged, Marlena feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders even though she hadn’t said anything. Just having Laura there with her was a big help, just like it had been with John. However, unlike with John, she contemplated telling Laura exactly what had happened that night that she got her bruises and cuts.

“It’s a good thing you’re here,” John cut in on their moment. He was standing behind the sofa with his arms crossed, worry written over his face as he spoke. “Maybe now Marlena will open up to someone.”

“What’s going on?” Laura asked, worried herself as her eyes shifted from John to Marlena.

“Nothing,” Marlena stressed. “John thinks there’s something bothering me but I’m fine.”

John shrugged at Laura. “Now that you’re here, I guess I’ll go.”

Sincerely, Marlena said, “Thanks for staying, John.”

He just smiled dismissively. “See you around. It was nice seeing you again Laura.”

“You as well.”

“Take care,” he directed this to both women as he grabbed his cellphone and keys from the desk and headed out the door.

Removing her blazer, Laura pushed her long hair behind her shoulders and looked intently at Marlena. “I’m only here for my lunch hour so I don’t have much time, but you need to tell me why John was here and what that’s all about. Also, there’s the obvious.” She made a pointed circular motion around her face.

Marlena sighed. “John was just worried so he was keeping me company. There’s really no need to look into it further than that.”

“There’s always more where you two are concerned.” Laura knew better.

Marlena rolled her eyes and her head. “I don’t really know why he stayed, to be honest. Maybe he looked at me and he felt bad, or he sensed that I might need some comfort.”

“Did he?” Laura asked. “Comfort you?”

“We were basically doing our own thing, Laura. It was just nice having him here. Just his presence, you know…”

“Right.” The topic of John could be put aside for now, as Laura was more interested in the obvious. “Honey, what happened to you?” She took hold of Marlena’s left hand and gave a gentle squeeze. Her soft and supportive eyes travelled Marlena’s body, from the almost gone yellow marks on her upper arms, to the still noticeable bruises all over her face, the split lip, the scabs healing from where her skin had split from the force of the unknown man’s knuckles.

That alone broke Marlena. She had been strong and held it in all week, especially in front of John the past two days, but with Laura’s understanding and support she allowed herself to break down, sobs overtaking her body. She shook in Laura’s arms until the cries subsided to occasional hiccups, where she then proceeded to tell Laura about that horrible night, how she was caught by surprise and completely battered until she was left almost lifeless.

“Have they found him?” Laura asked, her own cheeks tearstained. Marlena shook her head sadly. “Oh, honey.” Laura took her in her arms again and held her closely.

“I’m better now,” Marlena admitted. She had just needed to let it out.

“Did you want to come sleep at my place for a few days?”

Marlena shook her head silently against Laura’s shoulder. No. She was not scared and she did not need people to treat her like she was fragile. That man had no idea who she was or where she lived, thankfully her ID had not been in her purse, so she would not live in fear. “There’s more…” Marlena sounded dejected.

Laura tensed and held in a breath. “Don’t say it…Don’t tell me that man raped you.”

Marlena’s head snapped up. “No!” She took a hold of Laura’s hands and flashed her an appreciative smile. “No, it’s nothing like that.”

Although relieved, Laura was puzzled.

Releasing a deep breath, Marlena said in a small voice, “I’m pregnant.”

Shocked, she stuttered as she congratulated Marlena. “Is…is the baby John’s?”

Marlena nodded. There was no way for James to be the father because the last time they slept together was months before and they had used protection. John on the other hand, they didn’t always use protection and he was the only man she was sleeping with.

“What are you going to do?” asked Laura.

“I honestly don’t know,” revealed Marlena.

Black eyes can make you look and feel like someone else. It’s hard not to stare at them when you look in the mirror. Other people would be gawking at it too. You know what’s going through their heads. They’re wondering what happened to you. This can make one feel uncomfortable and make for awkward conversation.

Which is why, instead of feeling self-conscious, Marlena was standing in front of the mirror generously applying makeup over the colored areas of her face. Of course, she knew that she couldn’t make it look perfect, just less visible, but she had decided that it was time to get back out into the world. She was going crazy, cooped up in this apartment for this long.

With a few final touches, she put on a black sun hat and made for the door, taking a deep and an encouraging breath. Soon she was at the Pub, making her way to the counter with her head down.

“Marlena?”

Shit, she thought. She didn’t want to have to see someone she knew. The Pub; really? Obviously, she hadn’t thought that one through. She turned and offered a tight smile. At least it was John; he had already seen it all.

“Join me?” John stood up and pulled a chair out for her, inhaling her scent. “I’m glad to see you’re getting out of the house,” he said as he sat back into his seat. “Surprised, but in a good way…You look good, by the way.”

“The magic of makeup,” she replied sarcastically.

“You don’t even need any of that stuff.”

She flagged down a waitress. “You’ve always said that, but this time I do need it.”

“How are they coming along anyways? I haven’t seen you in a couple of days.”

Marlena shrugged. “They’re getting lighter every day.” She clammed up when the woman came over to take her order. “Are you sure you want me to join you for lunch? I was just planning on grabbing some takeout and going back home.”

He shrugged. “It’s just lunch. Nothing to it.”

“We don’t usually spend time together in public, much less outside of a bedroom,” she added. It was the truth. Apart from this week, they hadn’t seen each other for anything besides sex.

“Doc…” They caught each other’s eye when they noticed his slip. “Would you just enjoy this time out of the house,” John began again, “rather than worrying about nothing.”

Soon, they noticed Roman coming over with her food.

“Oh, hello Roman,” Marlena beamed up at her friend.

John acknowledged him with a head nod. “What’s up, buddy?”

“I was coming down and I was surprised to see you too, and I happened to catch Brittany just in time. So here it is.” He laid out the plate before Marlena. “Enjoy your date.”

“This is not a date,” Marlena quickly clarified. “Purely coincidental.”

“I just asked her to join me, rather than eating alone,” added John, taking a bite from one of his carrot sticks.

“Well I must say I am surprised to see you two interacting again, much less spending time together.” Roman was clearly fishing for more information, especially after that time that John unexpectedly showed up to Marlena’s penthouse.

Marlena shrugged uncomfortably, averting her eyes.

“Life is full of surprises,” John added enthusiastically.

More than you think,Marlena thought as she looked at him.

***

I remember a couple of weeks ago how scared I was. I was sitting on my bedroom floor with my back leaned on the bed, my heart was beating so fast I thought it would beat out of my chest. But the moment I saw those lines my heart stopped. For just a minute fear spread through me, but the more I looked at those lines, that fear dissipated. I knew that no matter what happened between your father and I, that you would be the best thing to ever happen to me.

Even though it was too soon, and I knew that there’s always a chance the home pregnancy test could be wrong, I just knew you were there with me. I just knew the moment I saw those lines that it was the truth. I could feel it. Even before I took the test, subconsciously I knew. I felt different, I can’t explain it, but I could feel you inside of me even though you are just the size of a cherry right now.

So when I saw those lines on the little plastic stick my whole world changed. It was no longer just me and I didn’t think I could top that feeling, that incredible joy and love that I felt in that moment, but I was wrong…I was able to hear you. I heard your little heart beating inside and that was the most precious sound I have ever heard.

I can’t wait to hear more of you. Your first cries, your first words, even the first time you will yell at me. I can’t wait for it all. I am so excited and happy to be your mother.

Love,
Your mama

As she finished with the letter, she thought, Now I just have to let your father know. She wouldn’t be able to hide it much longer. Her jeans were already starting to get a little tighter due to the expansion of her uterus and her lower abdomen was feeling firmer. In the coming weeks the uterus would begin to grow out of the pelvis and she wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore. She had to tell John before it was too late.

She looked at her texts from her conversation with John from that morning and contemplated her situation. She was afraid of his reaction. She didn’t want him to be angry with her for accidentally getting pregnant, but if he was disappointed and rejected her and the baby, she couldn’t handle that either.

She read the last couple of texts again. I’m swamped. Probably won’t even get to take a lunch.Suddenly, an idea popped into her head.

***

I could seriously use a drink right now,just as John was about to rise and get himself one, his office door opened and Marlena strode across the office towards him.  “What brings you by?” he asked, pleasantly surprised.

She was dressed and done up to perfection, wearing a navy pencil skirt with a teal blouse, and her makeup was flawless. To anyone who saw her, they would never assume that under all that makeup was a face full of discoloration. She outdid herself compared to yesterday’s minimal effort, he thought.

She raised her right hand, showing off a takeout bag. “You said you were swamped and that you probably didn’t have time to grab a bite to eat so I took the liberty of bringing you a sandwich from the pub.”

“You didn’t have to come all this way just to bring me food.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” she winked. “I also came by to see Brooke.”

“I see.” He opened the bag and dug out his sandwich and fries. “Are you working today?” he pointed to her outfit.

Marlena dropped her purse on one of the chairs before John’s desk. “I’m not,” she said, “I’m going back on Tuesday.”

“You’re looking quite dressed up for a casual day then.” John took a bite of a fry.

“I can’t show up here in my usual sweatpants attire, now can I,” she joked.

He nodded. “Thank you for this, I was getting hungry.”

“No problem.” Slowly, she walked around his desk, sitting on the edge beside him. “I’m pretty hungry myself, which is another reason why I stopped by.” She raised a suggestive eyebrow his way when he looked up at her.

John swiveled in his chair, leaning back with a smirk on his face. “You’re hungry, huh?”

She nodded. “Not for food, however. I was thinking more along the lines of -”

Her sentence was cut off by John’s lips slamming into her as his hands framed her face, holding her still. His tongue brushed across her lips and she willingly opened herself to him, allowing him to deepen the kiss and returning it with vigor.

Marlena brought her hands up, fisting his jacket and pulling him closer to her body. His hands slowly moved to tangle in her hair as he guided her so that his desk was pushing into the backs of her legs as he moved flush against her. She relaxed her grip on his jacket as he started to massage the base of her neck gently with the fingers tangled into her hair. Sliding her hands under his jacket and to the top of his pants, she dragged his shirt out from them and ran her hands over the bare skin there.

John groaned into the kiss, moving to press closer against her.

She moved, pushing him back slightly, smiling as he broke contact with her lips and she reached for his tie. Getting the idea, he untangled his hands from her hair and reached to pull the shirt from her skirt. Marlena pulled his tie off and let it drop to the floor, slowly unbuttoning his shirt as John ran his fingers across the skin at the base of her back, giving her goosebumps. Finally getting the last button undone, Marlena pushed both shirt and jacket off his shoulders.

John released his hold on her and shrugged them off, as they fell to the floor next to his tie. Taking the opportunity, Marlena quickly pulled her shirt and camisole over her head, dropping them down to the ever-growing pile. He openly ogled her for a moment before leaning back in for another kiss. He ran his hands over her stomach and sides, making her muscles twitch and her breath hitch.

Breaking the kiss, John traced his lips along Marlena’s jaw line and he started to do wicked things to her neck. Dragging her hands down his chest, she felt his well-defined muscles and she followed by ghosting her fingernails up his back causing him to shiver and thrust his hips against hers.

Groaning at the feel of his erection pressing against her, Marlena brought her hands around to his belt buckle, quickly undoing it and flicking open the button. As she drew the zipper down, John dropped his hands down to her skirt and unzipped it as she reached into his pants and cupped him through his boxers.

John moaned in response and bit down slightly harder on her shoulder. He pushed her skirt down to the floor, leaving her in just her panties and bra. Taking a small step back, he looked her over up and down very appreciatively.

Marlena bit her lip slightly under his gaze.

Smiling, he stepped back flush against her and kissed her passionately. His hands slid up her sides, tracing the bottom of her breasts before slipping around to release the clasp on the bra and dragging it down her arms. As her bare breasts brushed against his chest, Marlena couldn’t help but moan under her breath. His hands cupped them, gently massaging them and brushing teasingly over her nipples.

This time, Marlena broke the kiss, moving to catch his ear lobe gently between her teeth. He let out a hiss of surprise, and she gently kissed just below his ear, licking and sucking the spot, mindful not to leave a mark.

Pulling away from her slightly, John planted a kiss on her lips before pushing his shoes off his feet and dropping his pants and boxers. This time Marlena was the one looking appreciatively! Smiling, he stepped back towards her, reaching out and hooking his fingers into her panties and drawing them down her legs.

When they reached the floor, Marlena stepped out of them and pulled him up flush against her body for another kiss. She could feel his erection pressing against her leg, making her wetter.

He held her face between his hands again, kissing her gently, before his hands slowly began to descend down her back, cupping her behind and then sliding his hands behind her legs, lifting her so that she was perched on the edge of his desk.

Marlena wrapped her legs around him, pulling him firmly between her thighs. She dragged her hands up his arms and across his shoulders, brushing her fingers through the short hair at the base of his neck.

Soon John broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against Marlena’s, his hands tracing patterns on her thighs, causing her to shake with need. He moved his hips, bringing him closer to her entrance. Burying his hands in her hair, he kissed her desperately as he slowly slid inside of her. Marlena groaned at the feeling of finally having him inside. When he was fully sheathed inside, John too released a moan into Marlena’s open mouth. He dropped one hand from her hair to pull her legs higher up his waist, dragging another moan from the both of them.

Bracing both of her hands on his shoulders, Marlena gripped tightly, her nails leaving imprints. It was all she could do to keep from crying out at the feeling of being joined together with him, as he kept one hand on her hip with the other playing with the hair falling lose at the base of her neck. Agonizingly slow, he pulled out of her only to thrust back in with speed and force that pulled a surprised loud gasp from Marlena’s lips.

He set up a fast pace, kissing her hard. Tightening his grip in her hair, he pulled her down to lay on the desk as he pounded into her, her legs wrapping tightly around his ass.

Feeling his legs shaking, Marlena pushed herself up, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him furiously. She placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back, berating herself for the needy moan that escaped her lips as he slipped out of her. Sliding to her feet, she pushed him down into his office chair, straddling him and slowly lowering herself onto his cock.

Smirking, he wrapped his hands into her hair once again and kissed her hard as he began to thrust up into her again. Marlena threw her head back and cried out, to which John took the opportunity to begin kissing her neck. She began to feel the familiar heat gather inside of her when John’s office phone started to ring. John mustn’t have heard because he began grinding up into her at a faster pace.

Ignoring the phone, she began meeting him, thrust for thrust, and his head dropped back against the chair. His hands were gripping her hips so hard that she was sure there would be new bruises on her body. These bruises, however, she did not mind.

Feeling herself getting closer and closer to the edge, she looked at John and was mesmerized by him. He looked so amazing right now with his eyes closed tight. Leaning forward, she kissed his lips, plundering his mouth as she ground her hips down on him harder, and with a few of those thrusts she fell over the edge, biting his lip and crying out as she came. Clamping down on him, he thrust once, twice more up into her and she could feel him shooting into her as he came with her. As they both rode out their highs, he loosened his grip on her hips and she settled gently down into his lap.

Neither of them moved for a minute or two, Marlena just sat with her head resting on his shoulder as their breathing slowed and their heart rates return to normal. John brushed his lips against the side of her head and she turned to meet him, kissing him gently.

Once again, they began to get carried away, exploring the depths of each other’s mouths as they held on tightly to each other’s bodies. John was sucking on Marlena’s bottom lip, one hand tangled in her hair and the other running down her back, both completely unaware that the door to his office had opened.

“Mr. Black, I called and – Oh! I –” Madison stood in the doorway in shock, frozen as John and Marlena pulled apart and gasped in surprise.

John held on to Marlena tighter, as if to shield her, but in reality, she was completely naked, so there was no way of covering her. “Madison!” He barked, frustrated at the interruption but also embarrassed about being caught in such a personal and compromising position.

“I’m sorry!” she shrieked, but still stood frozen in place. The only reason she had come into his office was because he hadn’t answered the call when she phoned in about a rescheduled meeting for that afternoon.

“Get out! Just get out!” John yelled, shooing Madison away with his right hand. He groaned in frustration, throwing his head back when the door closed.

“Oh my gosh,” Marlena whined, burying her head in John’s shoulder. “That is so embarrassing.”

John started laughing at the situation until Marlena slapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. Madison is very discreet.” She started to fuss again when John held her hips in place, kissing her chin with an open-mouthed kiss. “Shhh,” he whispered. “Nothing to worry about.” His lips continued leaving kisses from her chin, across her jawline, and down to the left side of her neck, going up behind her ear.

She smiled, nuzzling her cheek against his head. “You’re very convincing.”

“I’m also very, very, very,” he placed kisses with every ‘very’, “thankful that you brought me lunch. It was delicious.”

Marlena hummed in agreement, pecking his lips gently. Sadly, she rose, pulling him up with her and they both began to collect up their clothes and get dressed. John was just finished buttoning his shirt as Marlena finish tucking hers in, and she stepped into him, taking the tie from his hands and fastening it around his neck.

He pulled her close, kissing her once again on the lips and she smile sadly at him. He stepped away, putting a professional distance between them once again and Marlena drew herself up, steeling herself.

“I’d better go,” she whispered, turning away from him.

“Yes, you probably should,” John whispered in return.

Marlena began to collect her hair up, but John was suddenly behind her again, flush against her back, pulling her hands away.

“Leave it,” he whispered against her ear, “it looks better this way!” He pressed a kiss to her neck and then turned and walked her to the door.

Marlena quickly made her way out of the office, avoiding eye contact with Madison or anyone else, out of sheer embarrassment.

John sunk into his chair and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Just then his phone rang. Sighing, he reached out and picked up the handset.

She sat on the couch, cuddled under a blanket with a box of tissues beside her. She knew they would be needed today. On this episode of One Life to Live, they were saying goodbye to their soap within a soap, Fraternity Row. The sudser had been cancelled and matriarch of One Life, Victoria Lord, was being interviewed as part of a farewell package. The heartbreaking speech she was giving was a tearjerker for any lover of soaps, but especially if you had extra hormones added to the mix like Marlena did.

“Many of them inherited the love of the show from their parents or their grandparents, who were longtime fans themselves…I remember the first time I tuned in to Fraternity Row; I was hooked instantly.” Viki was perfectly coifed and wore a proper red dress as she explained to the audience the importance of Soap Operas. 

“I needed to know what would happen next to these fascinating people. Would the hero and the heroine fine their way back to true love? Would the villains get their comeuppance, or would their crimes go unpunished? Would loving families overcome their obstacles, or would their troubles prove too difficult to surmount?” With Viki’s voice as a voiceover, they went from one group of character to the other, as they represented what she was saying.

“Ultimately, that’s what Soap Opera is about; families. Close families, rival families, even families that are unexpected, or the ones we choose for ourselves…And when a show is lucky enough to be on the air as long as Fraternity Row has been on, these families become an extension of our own.” 

Marlena reached for the box and pulled a few tissues, blowing her runny nose as she tried to keep the sobs at bay. She had been watching soaps since she was a little girl. They had always been her favourite escape, a time where her life didn’t exist, where she didn’t have to focus on her own problems for the time being. And not only that, but when she felt all alone, she was comforted knowing that her stories would be there to entertain her, to make her laugh, to make her cry, and to teach her.

“The audience might be upset when a favourite actor leaves,” Viki continued, “but they’re always willing to welcome a new one, even when that cast member is quite different than the one being replaced. After all, this is a place where people come back from the dead, go off to grade school in the morning and come home from high school in the afternoon. Because for every new face…”

Marlena’s attention was hindered by a strong knock at the door. Startled, she grunted, pausing the televisionand quickly wiping her tears away as she stood up, readjusting the hem of her t-shirt as she walked to the door. The site behind the door made her smile brightly, despite her current emotional state. “Oh, hello!”

John smiled back, one eyebrow arching as he noticed her tearstained cheeks. “Sorry for simply showing up unannounced. I thought I’d surprise you.”

“What in the world is all this?”

John held up his left hands, showing her. “First, iced tea and a chocolate croissant.” Marlena’s mouth watered at the thought. “And I’ve got some of my mom’s famous lasagna right here.”

She gasped happily. “You’re kidding, for me?” She held the door open wider and ushered John in.

“I figured I’d share with you, save you the hassle of cooking for yourself,” he joked. “Mom gave me more than I can eat by myself. I figured since you’re going back to work tomorrow, that you could bring some for your lunch.”

“You have no idea how happy you just made me,” expressed Marlena, thrilled. No lie, Katherine Black made the world’s best lasagna. Marlena remembered when the older woman had offered to share the recipe with her, but she had politely declined with the reason being that she was no cook.

“Want a piece now?” he asked, ready to fix her a plate.

Although she wasn’t feeling nauseous at the moment, she did not want to test her luck. She had been feeling queasy most of the morning and it finally disappeared around lunch time. “No thanks.”

John nodded swiftly and put away the tupperware container in the fridge. “Mind if I steal a water bottle?” When she nodded yes, he reached into the fridge and helped himself to some cold water. In one motion, he downed half the bottle. “Sorry, really thirsty.”

Marlena chuckled softly as she sipped her iced tea.

“Your recycling is overflowing,” said John after adding his now empty water bottle to the mix. “When’s the last time you took it out?”

“I’m sorry, but I’ve been cooped up in here for the better part of two weeks.”

“I’ll take it out,” he offered, from his crouched down position under the counter.

Taking her tea with her, she made for the living room. “Thank you,” she called over her shoulder. She had forgotten what it was like having a man around. The company, the comfort, the food, the help…

As John was pulling the recycling bin from under the counter, some of the items toppled over and scattered over the floor. Multiple empty water bottles, yogurt cups, a milk carton, and…a pregnancy test?

It was like everything around him disappeared and he was left standing there with the box from the pregnancy test in his hand. His ears were ringing, and he could feel the anxiety creeping into him, his chest becoming tighter. No. It’s not possible.

Still in shock, he silently made his way into the living room, the recycling long forgotten. He held up the empty box and gave her a confused look. “What the hell is this?”

“Oh no,” she said under her breath, her heart coming up to beat in her throat. This is not how I wanted to tell you. A few deep breaths and some mental preparation and Marlena was whispering, “I’m…I’m pregnant.”

John took a step closer, not sure if he heard her correctly. “What?”

Once again, Marlena took a deep breath. Coming to her feet, she faced him, rung her fingers together and repeated the words again, clearer this time. “I’m pregnant.”

“Tell me you’re joking.”

Her eyes grew wide as she stood still, stunned. “John, I..” she stuttered, unable to form a proper sentence.

“Tell me you’re joking!” he demanded again, furrowing his brows and throwing the empty box at her.

She wanted to sob. She hadn’t expected him to throw her a party, but she wasn’t expecting this sort of reaction either. “Clearly this isn’t a joke. Why would I joke about something like this?”

All John could do was shake his head. “I don’t even know what to say. How could this happen?”

Marlena scoffed. “How could this happen? It takes two people John! This is not just on me!”

He sported a haunted look on his face and shrugged lightly. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“John, please don’t hate me. I’m sorry. This was completely unexpected.”

“How long?” he asked suddenly, surprised that he had not asked sooner.

Marlena tilted her head to the side, unsure what he was asking. “How long what?”

“How long have you known.” It was said with an even tone, but it scared her.

She trained her eyes on the carpet beneath her feet and with a small and hoarse voice she replied, “two weeks.”

“Two weeks?! You’ve known you’ve been pregnant with my child for two weeks and you didn’t bother to tell me?” He punched the air, frustrated with her lack of honesty. This was his child too, he deserved to know.

She clasped her hands together tightly at her chest, hoping he would understand. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t know how.”

Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind. Steeling himself, he asked, “Is this even my baby?”

Marlena blinked. “Wh – what?”

“Are you pregnant with that doctor’s baby? Is that why you didn’t tell me you’re pregnant?” he accused. “Because you knew it wasn’t mine? My god, Marlena, we’ve slept together numerous times in the past two weeks, how could you allow me to have sex with you knowing that you had another man’s baby inside of you?”

Nostrils flaring and with an even tone, she said, “You son of a bitch.” She shook her head. Unbelievable. “How could you even ask me a question like that? Of course it’s your baby! I haven’t been sleeping with anyone else in months! It’s always been you!”

John’s head was spinning. Throwing his hands to his forehead, he took a few steps back, turning away from her. “You did this didn’t you? You did this to trap me.”

The simple fact that he could even think that of her was like a stab at her heart. Tears immediately sprung to her eyes and her throat tightened. This was not how this was supposed to happen. How could he even think that I would do that?“Of course I didn’t!” She took the remained steps towards him, hooking onto his arm, hoping that he would turn around and understand what she was saying. “John, look at me,” Marlena pleaded, emotions filling her voice as she pulled on his arm. “No matter how careful you are, accidents happen, and if we’re being honest here, we weren’t always that careful.”

He shrugged out of her grasp and shook his head. “I need to go.”

She was devastated as she finally let a sob escape. “You need to go where?”

John’s whole world had just turned upside down and he felt like he didn’t know anything anymore and that he no longer had control over his own life. “I need to breathe.”

Quickly running around the sofa, she stopped him in his tracks. “You think this wasn’t a shock for me as well? I’m just as worried about this as you are. Even more so, probably.” Wiping the tears away, she licked her lips, tasting the salt from the tears that had made their way down. “I wasn’t expecting this! I haven’t even finished residency. Having a baby right now was not a part of my plan, especially not while I’m all alone. I’m worried about how I’m going to do this by myself, while still continuing to work.”

“I just can’t be around you right now.” He gave her one last sorrow-filled look and bypassed her, slamming the door as he left.

You meet one person and your whole life changes forever.

I’m pregnant, Marlena had said. No matter how much he tried, the words simply wouldn’t stop replaying in his mind. And then there was that look. The look of fear and uncertainty in her eyes as she told him. John almost believed that she regretted not telling him sooner, but part of him, the part where he couldn’t get over his anger, wouldn’t let him forgive her. This wasn’t a simple secret that she forgot to tell him. This was life changing. She was part of his life forever now. From this point on, their lives would forever be complicated.

I’m not ready to be a dad. We are not ready to be parents. We can’t even control our own lives. We are so messed up, what if we mess this baby up?John didn’t want his child to be born into a toxic relationship and to suffer because of them, he or she did not deserve that.

Unfortunately, he feared that it would happen. He and Marlena just couldn’t make it work. When things were good, they were amazing, but when things were bad, it was unbearable. Even now, even though they haven’t been a couple for two years, they were still messing with each other’s lives. He couldn’t let her go, no matter how much he may want to, and it was reckless. Hell, they were just having fun, unable to control the mad physical attraction and the great sex between them, and now they are having a baby. Reckless.

Two days since the shocking reveal, John still couldn’t wrap his head around it. How did this happen? Having kids wasn’t something he had been thinking about at this point in his life. Sure, he wanted kids, but not right now and not in this way.

When he thought of having kids he thought he would be financially stable, settled down and married, have a home and a strong loving relationship. Today he was financially stable, he had more money than he would ever need, and he had the home, but John didn’t have the happy family and marriage. This isn’t what I wanted. This isn’t how it was supposed to happen. His life was now mapped out for him and he hadn’t even known about it.

At one time he wanted to marry her and start a family, somewhere down the line. He had thought out their future together. Them in his big house that he bought just because Marlena loved it, getting married, getting a dog or two, enjoying married life for a while until they both thought the time was right to start a family, and then having two or three kids. And then those thoughts and plans were thrown away when their life together began to crumble and fall apart.

Letting go of the bars of his Matrix multi-gym station, John sat on the bench in the gym in his basement and took some deep breaths, wiping the sweat on his forehead away with the small towel sitting on the bench press beside him. He had been working out excessively the past two days, burning off the steam that was still in him. He was so mad at her, still. He couldn’t even see or speak to her.

John just couldn’t understand it — he never would have done such a thing. It was both of their baby and he deserved to know right away, not find out on his own, weeks later, and Marlena only admitting to it because she had no other choice. She lied by omission and he didn’t know if he could get past that. If she could keep the truth about her pregnancy from him, what else would she withhold from him? Would she have kept her pregnancy a secret for the whole duration, avoid him, leave town and have their baby somewhere else, never even letting him know that he fathered a child?

There was also that instance when she was trying to justify her actions by saying she was scared of having to do it all on her own. Did she think John wouldn’t want to be a part of his child’s life? This baby was his responsibility now too, not just hers and he was damned if he would allow her to shut him out.

There was so much they needed to talk about, so many unanswered questions, but John couldn’t do that just yet. He needed more time to cool off and think about how he would go forward with this. But ultimately, in the end, they needed to come together to make decisions about what they were going to do and how a child fit into the messed-up web they’d weaved.

John started more sets, upping the weight on his chest press. A couple reps in and his phone beeped and vibrated, signaling a text. From the corner of his eye, he looked at the phone laying on the floor and immediately tensed up again. It was from Marlena. Breathing harshly, he continued his workout, working harder. She had called and left him messages numerous times, as well as a few texts but John had been ignoring her since the day before last.

‘I’m sorry’ and ‘Please, let me explain’ were the usual messages, but she did leave a voicemail saying that she would not give up until he talked to her. But that’s the thing; John didn’t know how to talk to her. He didn’t even know what he was feeling. He knew he had to get his thoughts in order before anything else.

A quick shower was in order before John was out the door and jumping into the car. It wasn’t long before he arrived at his parents’ house. Surprised at the unexpected visit, Katherine hugged her son tightly. “This is a nice surprise,” she exclaimed, pulling back and smiling up at him. “Your father and I were not expecting you until dinner tomorrow.”

“Can’t I come see my parents whenever?”

“Well sure. Why not.” Katherine took his hand and led him into the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”

“No, thank you. I really just came here to talk.” Besides Marlena, his mother was the only other person John could think of talking to. She was a mother, she would understand, he thought.

Katherine took a refreshing breath and said, “Alright, let’s talk.”

They sat down at the table and with a sigh, John said, “I need your help.”

His mother sat up straighter, on alert now. “Okay. What is it? What’s wrong?” It had been a long time since John had come to her for help, so naturally, Katherine began to worry.

“Why do you assume something is wrong?” John recognized the look on his mother’s face and it made him smile internally. It was a simple look but it’s one of the many things that made her a good mother.

She extended a hand to lay atop of John’s on the table. “Because you haven’t needed my help since you were thirteen years old.”

John smiled and covered her hand with his free one. “No matter how old I get, I’ll still always need my mom.”

Katherine smiled with pride. “How can I help you, honey?”

“Marlena’s pregnant,” John revealed without easing it in.

“Okay,” she nodded with inquisitive eyes that followed. “Does that make you jealous?”

“What? No, I’m not jealous. That’s not…” He stopped and breathed, eyes closed.

“Honey, you don’t have a right to be bothered by the fact that Marlena is starting a family with another man. She isn’t yours anymore.”

John chuckled stressfully at the thought. The thought of Marlena having a baby with another man other than him bothered him more than the fact that she had hidden the pregnancy from him. He looked down, shaking his head before pursing his lips and looking up again. “She’s pregnant with my baby.”

“Oh.” His mother maintained a neural face, not showing her surprise or confusion. After a brief pause she said, “I didn’t know…” and trailed off. With a forceful smile and a squeeze on his forearm, she said, “congratulations.”

John huffed, raising both eyebrows. “Yeah…”

Catching his eye, she pried, “is this not happy news to you?”

“It’s not that I’m not happy…” John looked out the window into his mom’s garden. Colorful hews of different flowers adorned the backyard. “I just don’t know how to feel. I wanted children, just not now and not like this.”

“You think you get to control how and when things happen?” Katherine was quick to say. “Well I have some news for you, you can’t. Life happens in the most unexpected ways, at the most unexpected times and we don’t know why. It just does. That’s the beauty of life. This baby happened for a reason. Whether you like it or not, this is happening.”

John was silent for a moment, trying to piece together his thoughts. “Marlena…” he began, “being around her is complicated and it’s always an internal struggle and now our child is going to bond us together forever. I’ll never escape that struggle now that we’ll be a part of each other’s lives forever.

Katherine blinked, confused. “What do you mean, ‘struggle’?”

John looked away, scratching the stubble that had begun to grow. “It’s not really something I want to talk with my mom about, but she and I have this pull. We can’t stay away no matter how hard we try.”

“Then why try? Why stay away?” She didn’t want her son to be unhappy, but she knew love when she saw it. And Katherine saw it the night of Bo and Hope’s wedding reception.

John shook his head, too eager to dismiss the idea. “We tried, and it didn’t work out. We can’t go down that road again.” With a heavy sigh, he left the table and began pacing the large kitchen.

Katherine soon followed, coming to stand before him, making sure he saw her. “Well you’re going down a new road now and you’ll be on it together until the end.”

“I know that! That’s what upsets me!” He lowered his voice when he noticed how loud he got. “I didn’t get to choose when and with whom I wanted to go down that road with. It just happened and now the rest of my life has been decided for me.”

She let that sink in, mostly for John’s sake. “So, what I’m getting from this is that you regret having a child with Marlena?”

“No. I just…ugh, I don’t know.” John threw his hands in the air, confused and frustrated. “I hate that she didn’t tell me about it sooner.”

His mother nodded and bit the inside of her cheek. “How far along is she?”

John turned around then, his back to her. “I don’t know. I can’t even guess at a time.”

Not to be misheard, she went around him and found his eyes. “Then how do you know that she knew for a long time before she told you?”

“She’s known for two weeks. Two whole weeks she kept that hidden from me,” he scoffed. John made his way back to the table, taking the seat he previously held. “And it’s not like I hadn’t seen her in those two weeks, so she had plenty of opportunities to tell me, but she chose to keep it a secret.”

Katherine hated the turmoil her son was going through, but she understood Marlena’s side as well. With a soothing voice, she began. “Many women choose to wait until the first trimester is done before sharing the news. Now, I’m not saying that’s what Marlena was going to do but you have to agree with me when I say that she knew she wouldn’t be having a happy announcement like most couples do.”

Regretfully, John said, “I suppose,” and crossed his arms.

“So why would she rush into telling you when she knew it wouldn’t be the reaction she’d hoped to have?” Knowing she was right, Katherine raised an eyebrow.

“You’re taking her side?”

Quickly, she rolled her eyes. Her son could be too damn stubborn at times. “I’m not taking sides. I’m trying to help you see Marlena’s point of view. You can’t be angry with her forever, you have to put that anger aside for the baby that you two are going to have…Something tells me it’s doable if you managed to get her pregnant and you can’t even narrow down an approximate date.” Again, she raised a knowing eyebrow.

“Mom!” he said, disgusted.

“Don’t be shy with me. I’m not stupid.”

“I don’t feel like discussing my sex life with my mother.”

“We’re not. I just want to know how long you’ve been…together, again?”

“We’re not back together,” John was quick to stress, standing up again and looking out of the picture window in the adjoining dining room.

Katherine was by his side in a second. “That’s not what I was implying either.”

Rolling his eyes, John shot over his shoulder, “It’s been a while.”

“Well there you go. So, it’s definitely possible for you two to get along.”

John sighed. “Alright, I think I’m done discussing this.” He had not come here to discuss his sex life with Marlena, and he had already shared more than he ever wanted.

Grabbing John by the elbow, Katherine turned him around so that he faced her. “Well that’s too bad because I’m not.” He had come to her for help, but he was being too stubborn to see any other views but his own and Katherine was becoming irritated. “Not until you get this through your head; this isn’t Marlena’s fault. No one made you take off her clothes and have sex with her. That was your choice. You don’t need to love her or stay with her, but you both decided to have sex and a child is the result so own up to it and be a father.”

Defensively, John said, “I never said I wouldn’t be there for my child.”

Cooling down, Katherine let go of John’s arm and breathed. She hoped she was getting through to him. “As the woman who is carrying your child, you need to take care and support Marlena as well. Please don’t blame each other or the child for this. It’s just terrible timing. Please just leave the pettiness, the anger and the frustration aside and be parents together. You have to remember that the well-being of this baby is more important than your disagreements. From now on, it isn’t about you anymore. It’s all about this baby.”

“It’s all about this baby,” John repeated. “It isn’t about Marlena and I.”

Katherine shook her head, glad that he was beginning to open up. “Nope. Your story doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is what came out of that story…”

“All our life decisions, everything that we have ever done brought us to this moment,” John concluded.

She nodded. “The two of you started out as best friends. Then accidental lovers. Then you were obsessed with each other for a while; you began to fight like dogs and you ended, only to come together again when the need came up. That’s the short version of your story.”

“Why are you telling me this?” John asked, unsure where she was going with her speech.

“All lovers have a story, but lovers come and go. Sometimes the thought of them chills you, sometimes it warms you, and sometimes you make a baby with your lover. And when you do, the two of you are bound together in a way that will sometimes feel like a cruel joke and sometimes feel like the only family you have. You must realize that everything you ever did together left a mark.”

“Brooke, it’s perfect,” John smiled as he watched her put the item in the bag. “Thank you.” He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and headed towards the door, quickly making his way to his office. Once inside, John grabbed his keys and his phone, putting them in his pockets and quickly turning to leave again, closing the door behind him.

Loosening his tie, John smiled at the young woman sitting behind the fancy front desk. Seeing her, he remembered the papers he needed her to fax. “Shit,” he said under his breath, holding up a finger to her. Turning back around, he quickly went back to retrieve the necessary papers. When he returned, she was on the phone, so he placed the black paper bag and the papers on the counter and waited for her to finish.

“Yes, will do…Alright…See you soon.” Madison hung up the receiver and folded her arms along the desk, smiling up at her boss. “What can I help you with, Mr. Black?”

“Madison, I’ll be leaving early today, there are some things I need to take care of.” John took the time to go through the paperwork one last time, flipping from page to page.

She straightened up and bit the inside of her cheek. “Oh, but I was just about to tell you that I got a call, and someone is coming by to see you. She said she’d be by shortly. Its –”

“I’m sorry,” John interrupted, “you’re going to have to tell whoever it is that I’m sorry I couldn’t stay.” Reaching for a pen, he added his signature where he must have forgotten before. “There’s somewhere I really have to be. Maybe tomorrow?” He continued to flip through the file, looking at her without raising his head.

“I’ll let her know…What’s in the bag?” she pointed to it with her pen.

Absentmindedly, he said, “It’s a surprise. Please leave all messages on my desk, unless there’s an emergency, then please call.” He finally put the papers all together and handed them to her. “And here are those papers that need faxing.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Have a good day.” He offered her another smile before running towards the open elevator door down the hall. Riding down to the main floor, he made small chat with an employee from their graphic design department.

“John!”

John stopped in his tracks when he heard the familiar voice. Looking around, he saw her standing by the little cafe in the lobby. In that moment, he felt bad. She hadn’t even crossed his mind in weeks and if he was honest, seeing her just now didn’t bring any feelings of joy or content. He felt like he was looking at an acquaintance, someone he barely knew, someone he didn’t particularly care for.

“I was just on my way up to see you,” said Rebecca, a reserved smile plastering her face.

“I was actually on my way out,” he said apprehensively. That must have been who Madison was telling him about, he thought. Although ashamed for it, he wished he had left just a little earlier, thus avoiding this run in.

“I’ve missed you,” she was quick to say, sadness evident.

John nodded sympathetically. “How are you doing?”

“I’ve been well. What about you? You look good.”

“I’m still taking care of myself, spending more time in the gym. It’s been a stressful few weeks, but things are coming together now.” John felt uncomfortable mentioning it, even though he technically wasn’t revealing anything.

“I’m glad for you.” She cleared her throat before going on slowly. “Truth be told, I’m a little disappointed that you aren’t doing worse.”

“Rebecca…”

“I miss you. Being away from you, I realized that I want you in my life no matter what. We can work through our problems and get past the pain and just be happy again. I want that. I want you.”

John was silent, refusing to look at her. He had already hurt her so much, how could he look her in the eye and tell her that he didn’t feel the same way?

“Please say you want that too?” Silence. “I’ll do anything to make it work, as long as I have you by my side, that’s all that matters.”

“I am so so sorry about hurting you the way I did.”

“I know you are. I accept your apology…John, will you please give us another chance?” Rebecca pleaded, almost sounding whiny. “I want you back.”

John looked down at the bag in his hand, thinking of what was inside. “I can’t,” he said after a pause, regretfully looking up at her. “I’m sorry, Rebecca. I can’t.” He gave her a moment to take it in before he continued. “I think it’s better that I be alone. There are more important things coming that I need to focus on. My love life isn’t a priority right now.”

“Well when you’re done those things…maybe we could talk?” She was hopeful, taking a step closer to him.

To please her he said, “sure,” as he shrugged a shoulder. “I’m sorry, I have to get going.”

“Oh, okay then.”

“It was nice seeing you, Rebecca. Take care of yourself.” John flashed her a warm smile and was gone within seconds.

Only making one stop on the way, John made his way through traffic and to the other end of town. Gathering what he needed, he quickly hopped out of his SUV and made his way inside the grey building, taking the elevator.

“Mr. Brown,” Cynthia greeted warmly when she noticed him walking in, trying not to let her fawning over John show.

John looked around the room quickly before he realized she was addressing him. “Ah,” he cleared his throat, “that would be me. Good afternoon.”

“Did you have a session booked with Dr. Evans?”

“No,” he shrugged. “This is simply a surprise visit.”

“I see. Are those a surprise as well?” she pointed to the bouquet of flowers in his hand and the small Basic Black shopping bag.

John thought for a moment. “I guess you could say that, yeah.”

“Any chance those were meant for me?” Cynthia half joked, tucking her hair behind her ears.

“Unfortunately that would be a no. Rain check?”

She half smiled before clearing her throat. “It’s not really appropriate for a patient to bring gifts to their therapist or to see them on a personal level.” Not only was she speaking the truth, but she was also a little jealous that this gorgeous man was enamored with her boss.

“Good thing I’m not a patient,” he whispered and winked.

Cynthia frowned, unsure what to say. “Anyways, as it turns out, Dr. Evans isn’t here at the moment.” She turned to her computer, typing away and hoped he would leave.

“I can wait.” He took a seat in one of the chairs and smiled at the secretary, clearly irritating her. “Any idea when she’ll be back?” he asked smugly, laying the flowers and the bag on the chair next to him.

Folding her arms over her desk, Cynthia stared intriguingly at John. “She actually went home early. She wasn’t feeling very well.”

John jumped to his feet, leaning over the desk and towering over the brunette in an instant. “What do you mean she isn’t feeling well? What’s wrong with her? Was she alright when she left? What happened?”

“Mr. Brown!” Cynthia stood up, putting her hands on the desk and raising a stern eyebrow. “I really don’t think this is any of your business so I’m asking you to leave, please.”

“My name isn’t Mr. Brown, it’s John Black.” He held up a hand and waved it before she could say a word. “That’s not important right now. What’s important is for you to tell me what happened to Marlena.”

“Mr. Brown or Mr. Black, whatever your name is,” she started sarcastically, “if you don’t leave right now, I will call security.”

John released a stressed out laugh and scratched the back of his neck. “I’ll find out on my own,” he said frustratingly. He turned and roughly grabbed the flowers and the Basic Black bag, mumbling “thanks for your help,” under his breath as he walked through the door.

Skipping the elevator, he took the steps down as fast as he could, dialing Marlena’s number as he went. “Come on Doc, pick up.”

John made it to her penthouse faster than he expected, only the elevator holding him back, stopping at a couple of floors to let other tenants off. Knocked on her door, worry written over his face. When the door opened, his face went pale. He quickly reached out to her, checking her out. His hands roamed her body; her face, her arms, skimming her stomach, all to make sure everything was okay.

“I’m fine,” she answered, surprised by his sudden interest and worry. His hand was still on her abdomen. “We’re both fine.”

John removed his hand and stood up straight. “I went by your office to talk, but your secretary told me you weren’t feeling well?”

“Oh that!” She breathed. “It’s nothing serious. Just morning sickness, which is now actually turning into all day sickness,” she complained, moving aside to let him into the apartment.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he sounded angry, accusatory even.

Marlena straightened up, challenging him. “I’m sorry, when was I supposed to do that? You stormed off and I haven’t spoken to you since.”

John didn’t back down. “This is my child, I deserve to know.”

“It’s morning sickness, it’s normal!” she said exasperatedly, then she softened a little, becoming more understanding. “If it were important of course I would have told you.”

John shifted his eyes from her to the flowers in his hand. He looked at them disappointedly. “I brought you these as a piece offering but now I see that you’re still keeping secrets.”

She nodded sadly, holding back tears. She was too exhausted to get into it with him. Pointing to the bag in his other hand, she asked “what’s that?”

For the first time since arriving at her penthouse he remembered what his purpose had been that day. Although the mood had long been broken, he held the bag out to her.

Unsure, she took the bag from him and peeked inside. Reaching in, Marlena pulled out the garment. She held it open and her eyes welled up with tears instantly. It was a simple newborn black onesie with ‘The OG Baby Black’ written on it in white cursive.

Despite his feelings of anger, John found himself smirking at her reaction. He looked on as she continued to glance at the clothing, and the bright smile on her face as tears slowly made their way down her angelic face. He was glad that through all the pain he’d caused her — that they both caused each other — in the last few weeks, that he was able to make her smile. She deserved nothing but to smile and he was making it harder for her lately, and for that he was sorry.

John stepped closer to her, pulling her by the shoulders until he was able to capture her and wrap his arms around her, encasing her in a warm embrace. “You won’t have to do this alone,” he whispered on the top on of head.

The ball of emotions in her throat made her gasp, clenching the onesie tighter into her fist and she hugged him back tightly. She had been worrying herself sick ever since she found out about the pregnancy, afraid that John would hate her. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner,” Marlena managed through her tears.

Smoothing his hands along her back, John took a breath before saying what he had to say next. He didn’t want to hurt her, but it had to be said. “There’s so much we have to talk about. I will be here for this baby…” he trailed off, having to convince himself to go forward, “but I don’t want anything to do with you.”

Marlena stopped breathing. It was like there was so much pressure on her chest that her lungs couldn’t fill up with the necessary oxygen. Pulling out of the embrace, she looked up at him with a pain-stricken look covering her face. “Wh-what?”

From his position, looking down upon her, John had a perfect view of her eyes. He could see what she was feeling. It was like her entire world fell apart underneath her,
the ground shattering underneath her feet. “I’m done fighting. I don’t want to fight anymore. We’ll raise this baby together, but anything else – anything that isn’t pertaining to this baby – there won’t be anything else.”

She didn’t know what to say. What was there to say? It’s not like she expected them to be a family, but she didn’t expect him to write her off either. “I’m sorry,” she finally managed.

“I’m sorry too.” He pulled her in for another comforting hug, hoping that she knew he did not mean to hurt her. He just could not keep going on the way they had been. Letting her go, he looked around the apartment and asked, “Is Sam here?”

“No, I convinced her that I’d be alright on my own.” Marlena brought both her hands up to her cheeks, wiping away the tears. “She’s gone shopping.” She sounded miserable.

Stalling, John paced the living room before taking a seat on the sofa with his back to the balcony. With a sigh he said, “I guess we should make use of this time alone.”

She blinked. “But I thought you said –”

“I did. I was about to say that now is as good a time as any to discuss this situation.” He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees and he crossed his fingers together. He kept his eyes on his hands when he asked her how far along in the pregnancy she was.

Marlena hesitated. Wrapping the cardigan tighter around her, she sat down on the other sofa, bringing her knees up to her chest. “Based on the ultrasound the doctor thinks I’m about nine and a half weeks.”

His eyebrow twitched, the stress evident. “You had an ultrasound?”

Marlena nodded cautiously. “It was in the emergency room, after the…incident. The baby’s fine! It was just to make sure nothing happened due to the trauma.”

“Your fall didn’t harm the baby?”

She shook her head slowly and emotionally. She was thankful that that man hadn’t cost her her baby. “He’s okay. Strong heartbeat too,” she smiled.

John stilled. “He?”

“Oh no, no, no! I’m sorry! It’s too early to tell still,” she added quickly. Though, she was really looking forward to the day that they would find out. “I should have called the baby an “it”.”

John nodded, not completely understanding the medical aspect. Leaning back, he rubbed his palms together. “What else did the doctor say?”

Marlena shrugged, picking at lint on her cardigan. She tried to avoid looking at him, not needing to feel guiltier than she already did. “Nothing really. I have to see an OB for an actual prenatal checkup.”

His eyebrow twitched once again. This was all stuff she should have already told him. “Who are you seeing and when is it?”

“I’m seeing Dr. Bader at the hospital next Thursday.” It was said in a small voice, sort of like a child after they had been disciplined by a parent.

“Alright then.” John once again went back to sitting with his elbows on his knees, looking up at Marlena with a determined look. “I want to know anything pertaining to the baby, even as simple as morning sickness.”

“That’s a little excessive.” She rolled her eyes and pulled her legs underneath her. “You’ll get annoyed very fast if I text you day after day telling you I’m sick.”

“I don’t care. I want to make sure my baby is safe and since I won’t be around to see it, I want to be kept informed. I want to be included with any decision regarding the baby.”

“Yes.” The small voice returned. “I’m sorry if I made you think that I would keep this baby from you.”

“We’re not going to talk about that. I know now, so let’s focus on the present instead of the past,” he decided. It was over, and they couldn’t go back and change things.

“It’s just that this is your baby too. Yours and mine, and I care too much about you to hurt you in that way. I was just trying to find a good way to tell you so you wouldn’t be angry…but we both know how that turned out.”

John snapped his fingers. “Hey, the present,” he reminded.

“And the future,” she added, standing up and going to sit in front of him on the coffee table. “I wouldn’t want to be doing this all on my own, I want you involved,” she wanted to assure him.

He ignored her statement, looking deep into her eyes. “Who else knows?”

“I’ve only told Sam. I kind of wanted you to be the first to know, and I was going to keep it private for a few more weeks. Just in case.”

He nodded and leaned back in his seat, giving them more space. “My mom and Caroline know now too, so…”

She nodded. “Okay.” She held her breath.

“They were surprised, to say the least, but they both helped me in their own way. You know my mom has always liked you, so I think she’s glad that you’ll be the mother of her grandchild,” he admitted with a sly smirk.

“She wasn’t upset?”

“I don’t think so. Just taken aback. Maybe a little disappointed in my actions.”

She became serious, her eyes searching his. “What are we going to do?”

“It’s simple.” John shrugged like it was easy. “We are going to give our baby our very best and be the greatest co-parents we can be…You do you and I’ll do the same. Let me know everything about the baby.”

Marlena pursed her lips and nodded, staying still for a moment before pushing herself up and going to pour herself a glass of water. She stood by the piano, holding the glass to her lips. “Why do you hate me?”

John quickly looked at her from his position on the couch, not believing that she actually thought that. “I don’t hate you.”

“You do.” She drank, letting the cold water slide down her throat. Finally turning around, she pointed to him with the glass in her hand. “Just when things are beginning to go well again, you get mad and push me away.”

John threw his head back and dropped his hands on the tops of his thighs. “What do you want me to say Marlena?”

She put the glass down loudly on the piano top, hands going to her hips. “I want you to say that whatever it is, we’ll face it together. That you’ve never been so happy and everything’s going to be okay.”

John was quiet for a moment, taking his time. Standing up, he walked closer to her. “Everything’s going to be alright,” he said above a whisper. “We’ll take care of this baby together.”

“Are you happy?” Her chin quivered. “Because I am. I’m more than happy, I’m ecstatic. I don’t want to feel guilty about that.”

“It’s a difficult situation,” he sighed. “This is not how I expected it to happen.”

She let out a frustrated groan, tears threatening to escape. “Things happen all the time. Unexpected things that turn out to be amazing things. I named mine my little angel,” she whispered that last few words, not having intended to verbalize her inner thoughts.

Hearing her words, something in John clicked. “You’re right,” he struggled to admit. “I can’t fault the baby, it’s not responsible for being a surprise.” He muttered some intangible words before he begun to slowly reach out a hand towards Marlena’s still flat stomach. Suddenly, he halted, pulling his hand back. “Can I?” he asked, unsure.

She nodded meekly.

Bending down at the waist, his face got close to her abdomen. “Hey there little angel, this is your daddy.” John allowed his left hand to lightly skim over the thin material of the t-shirt covering her abdomen. “You don’t know me yet, hell you probably can’t even hear me right now. You’re so tiny you probably don’t have ears yet, but if by chance you can hear me, I want you to know that I love you already and as your father, that love will always be unconditional…Your father…” he chuckled. “There is no bragging here but there is a feeling of pride, although it has not totally sunk in yet, but I know that you will change my world once I meet you. The same thing happened when your mother came into my life.”

Marlena had one hand on her hip, the other at her mouth, as she silently shed tears, looking down at him sharing an intimate conversation with their baby.

He pulled back, kind of like he snapped out of the moment, and cleared his throat. “I gotta go.”

​It wasn’t a very large room, nor was it particularly esthetically pleasing. The walls were painted a soft and soothing yellow, frames displaced against the four walls. There was a diagram of a uterus as well as pictures of a pregnant woman, and another of a baby inside the womb. Two stackable chairs were placed in front of the only window, beside a cabinet. A little further in the corner sat the examination table. On the other side of the room was a counter spanning the wall with more cabinet. There was also equipment and machines present in the room.

For anyone who was there for the first time, they may be relaxed and comforted by the quiet and neutral atmosphere and that’s probably what Dr. Bader had in mind. Looking to the side, there was various pamphlets about pregnancy, pregnancy related medical complications, how to stay healthy, and the list went on.

Spotting the black and white photo of the pregnant woman, Marlena couldn’t help but to get lost in her thoughts.  She imagined herself with a belly as big as that woman’s and the way it would feel to actually be able to feel your baby inside of you. Fluttering, kicking and even pressing against the bladder. She smiled, grateful that she would soon been experiencing all of that, and more. She couldn’t wait to live it.

As of right now, Marlena didn’t particularly feel any different than she did a few months ago when she was not yet pregnant.  Sure, she felt a little more tired, a little emotional, not to mention sick all the time, but she didn’tfeelpregnant. She hadn’t begun to bloat or show any signs yet, except for her breasts; those were more tender and had grown slightly, but no one but her could tell.

Suddenly the door opened, and it broke through her thoughts. “I’m sorry. Dr. Bader had an emergency and had to step out so I’m taking over her patients for the day. I’m Dr. Hayward.” He was a tall man with dark brown hair with the slight hint of salt and pepper mixed in. He had equally dark eyes and a charming smile. Opening the file in his hand and closing it just as quickly, he extended a hand to Marlena. “And you must be Marlena.”

She shook his offered hand and nodded simply. “That would be me.”

“First I want to say congratulations on the pregnancy.”

Marlena beamed, happiness radiating from her.

“I see here that you’ve already had an ultrasound done a few weeks ago when you were brought into the emergency department,” he read from the file.

Thinking of that night turned her stomach into knots. “That would be correct. Dr. Slater said everything looked fine.” She said it, needing to remind herself of that. It easily could have turned out differently.

Marlena breathed a quiet sigh of relief when the doctor said, “That’s what he wrote in his report.” Dr. Hayward closed the file and threw it on the nearby counter. “So Marlena, how are you feeling?” He took a seat on the rolling stool, coming closer to her seated position against the wall.

“You mean besides the all-day nausea and my emotions giving me a run for my money?” She paused momentarily. “I’m doing well.”

“Okay well, let me give you a little run down of how today’s appointment will go down.” He proceeded to inform her of the step by steps, the different tests he’d do, what he would check, etc. He started with her history, writing everything down in her chart. “What do you do for a living? Are you on your feet often or is your job physically demanding?”

“I’m a doctor. A psychiatrist.”

He looked up from the paperwork then and smiled at her. “Is that right? Well it’s nice to treat a colleague. What about the father?”

John.“He’s a businessman.”

Dr. Hayward nodded. “Any family history of chronic disease or illnesses on either side?”

She paused to think for a moment. “None from my side,” she revealed. “I know that John’s father had some cardiac issues when he was younger, and his grandmother suffers from TIAs but other than that we’d have to ask him.”

Dr. Hayward noted it all down before looking at her again. “Is the father going to be joining us?”

Marlena didn’t blink. “No.”

“Yes he is.” Marlena and the doctor both turned to see John sneaking into the room, closing the door behind him.

Marlena tried to hide her bright smile. “Hey! How’d you know?” She stood up to meet him in the middle of the room.

“You told me…last week,” he reminded her. That was the last time they saw each other until now.

“I’m so happy you’re here, John,” she whispered, emotions present in her voice.

“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” He happily extended a hand to the doctor. “Hi, I’m John Black, I’m the baby’s father.”

“I’m Dr. Hayward, please grab a chair and join us. We were just going over family history,” he informed him. “I’ll be giving you both a form to fill out regarding any medical conditions that may run in your family afterwards. Marlena, do you have a persona history of pregnancy?”

John looked at her, intrigued.

She and John both sat in the chairs against the yellow wall. She took a moment to look at John before going back to the doctor and answering his question. “No, this is my first.”

“Okay…Are there any history of miscarriage or preeclampsia in your family?”

“None that I am aware of.”

“Okay, let’s move on. I just want to take your vitals quickly and do a little exam,” he instructed. “Would you mind sitting on the examination chair please?”

John helped her up on the leather chair that had a paper sheet covering it and stirrups sticking out from one end.

As the doctor attached the blood pressure cuff around her arm, Marlena reached for the sat probe and put it on her index finger. She remained silent as the machine began analyzing her and Dr. Hayward began auscultating her lungs. “I didn’t think you’d come,” she whispered to John between breaths.

He smiled confidently. “I’ll always be here for our baby.”

After Dr. Hayward was done with her lungs, he proceeded to listen to her heart sounds at different zones and then to her stomach. He auscultated as well as palpated the four quadrants, looking for any tenderness or unusual findings.

Marlena patiently waited for him to finish before she asked a favor. “Would it be okay if we start with the ultrasound and the talk pertaining to the baby first?” she asked hopefully. Looking to the side, she saw John’s and the doctor’s questioning eyes. “John doesn’t need to be here for the rest of the exam, the blood tests and all that. He’s a busy man, I’m sure he has better things to do,” she explained. “Besides, I just want to see my baby right now,” she added with a delightful laugh.

Dr. Hayward smiled and said enthusiastically, “how can I say no to that! Alright then, could you please lie back and lift up your shirt so I can see your stomach?”

As Marlena tucked the hem of her blouse inside the bottom of her bra, showing not even a slight bulge, Dr. Hayward wheeled the ultrasound machine and monitor closer to the chair. As for John, he brought his chair to Marlena’s side, taking her hand. They squeezed each other’s hand in anticipation as the doctor set up the machine.

“Excited?” Marlena breathed, and John nodded frantically. She knew that he must be more excited than she was, considering she already had to pleasure of seeing their baby once before and he hadn’t. This was going to be the first time John saw their child. Just the thought of it chocked up Marlena as she bit her lip to keep the emotions in.

“John, Marlena,” the doctor looked at each of them, “are you ready?” he smiled warmly.

They both nodded as he fiddled around with the transducer and put the gel on it. As he placed it on her stomach, Marlena flinched and squealed at the touch. It was cold.

“Are you alright, Marlena?” John wondered, panicking.

“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just cold.”

John squeezed her hand and smiled in relief. This was all new to him. He knew nothing about pregnancy or babies and he was worried that anything could go wrong.

Dr. Hayward looked at her with an apologetic expression. “I guess I forgot to remind you that it would be cold,” he chuckled lightly. He goes back to looking at the screen as the inside of Marlena’s stomach is shown. He moved the transducer over her stomach some more, spreading the gel around until a shape appeared on the screen.

John could make out a head and a body. It really was inside of her! He gasped and kissed Marlena’s hand.

“There it is,” the doctor said, joy present in his voice.

“Oh!” breathed Marlena and she looked at John. He beamed at her and kissed her lips unexpectedly. They shared two sweet kisses before Dr. Hayward’s voice broke their spell.

“You’re already almost eleven weeks,” he revealed. “So it goes with what Dr. Slater shared with you a few weeks ago.”

John couldn’t contain his amazement. “Wow.” He kissed Marlena’s hand again. Leaning closer to her head he whispered, “I’m sorry about the kiss, I hope it was okay that I did that.”

She looked at John and he looked absolutely joyful. There were tears in his eyes, just like there were in hers. “It’s fine,” she answered, resting her forehead against his for a moment. Then she looked straight ahead. “Thank you,” she tells Dr. Hayward, who is still playing with buttons on the screen.

He looked at them and smiled. “My pleasure. Would you like a picture?”

“Yes, please,” she whispers, sniffing. “Two.”

“Absolutely.” He presses the necessary buttons and waits for the pictures to be produced.

John was still looking at the monitor, at his child. He was awestruck, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. This was really happening, he was really going to be a father. He cleared his throat to dislodge the tears, straightening up. “When is she due?”

The doctor shut off the ultrasound machine and passed Marlena some napkins. “When was the date of your last period, Marlena?”

She took a moment to think it through. “Umm, maybe mid-July? I’m not quite sure. John, would you pass me my phone? It’s in my purse.” She went to her calendar, going back a couple of months. “It must have been on July 5th,” she figured.

The doctor looked at his own calendar and made some calculations. “Well we’re in mid-September now so it makes sense.” Going back to his calendar, he focused some more. “So if July 5thwas the date, that would make April 11thof next year the estimated due date,” he announced. “And here are the pictures.” He passed one to each of them, smiling happily.

“Thank you so much, doctor,” Marlena cried.

“Yes,” John cleared his throat, looking at the tiny baby. “Thank you.”

“Who’s up for some urine and blood samples?” the doctor asked, breaking the mood. He collected a few tubes of blood, gently inverting them to mix the additives. He then waited for Marlena to return from the bathroom with the urine sample.

While they were alone, John asked the question he’d been wondering since he arrived earlier. “Not to be rude or anything, but Marlena told me she would be meeting with a Dr. Bader today?”

Dr. Hayward nodded, placing the stickers identifying that the blood belonged to Marlena on the little tubes. “There was an emergency, so I stepped in for the day. I assure you, Dr. Bader will be back, and she will be following Marlena through the remainder of her pregnancy…”

John nodded, crossing his arms. “Okay. It was just out of curiosity.”

“Here you go, doctor.” Marlena returned with the little cup and placed it in the plastic bag.

He smiled politely. “I’ll go make sure these get to the lab. In the meantime, Marlena, I’ll ask you to get undressed.”

John’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He watched doctor leave and as soon as the door clicked shut behind him John said incredulously, “He wants you to do what?”

“Oh John, it’s routine procedure. It’s for the physical exam,” she explained as she slid off the chair and stood up. Proceeding to take off her jeans and folding them onto the chair she had sat on earlier, Marlena tucked her curls behind her ears and looked at John. “Can you turn around please?” When he did so she took off her underwear and tucked them underneath her jeans, quickly slipping on a hospital gown and going to sit up on the examination chair and covering her bottom half up with the thin sheet. She cleared her throat when she was done. “Okay.”

He turned to find her leaning back in the chair, her legs crossed at the ankles. “I guess I never thought about what happened during these appointments besides checking out the baby.”

“You can go. You don’t need to be here for the rest, especially this part,” she explained, looking up at the ceiling. “To be honest, I’d rather you not be here.”

John frowned, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked down at her. “Why the hell not?”

“Because it’s weird and private. John, we’re having a baby but we’re not together. I don’t want you here when another man is between my legs,” she explained.

His throat all the way to his ears turned red.

“I obviously didn’t mean it in that way,” she added, not wanting to fight. “I’m not — I’d rather do this part alone,” she sighed.

“I’m staying,” he reaffirmed, standing with his legs spread wider and crossing his arms again.

The doctor returned and set up a little table with a tray of equipment he would need. Putting on gloves he began to do a pelvic exam, feeling Marlena’s pelvic bones to assess the shape and size of her birth canal in order to determine the best delivery method. “I’m going to proceed with examining the cervix now okay?”

Marlena nodded and tried to relax. Spreading her legs, she placed them in the stirrups and she folded her hands on her stomach and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths.

John tapped an impatient finger against his lips as he waited for this to be over. He observed as the doctor put two fingers inside of Marlena, feeling her insides. Then, he heard a sound that he was so familiar with. A sound that only he should be responsible for – Marlena moaned. Mistaking her moan for a moan of pleasure, John clenches his teeth, trying to keep his emotions under control.

Still with her eyes closed, Marlena had to mentally relax herself, trying to ease her muscles in order to ease the discomfort she was feeling due to the intrusion. She could feel the middle-aged doctor move his fingers against her wall, feeling the lining and the softness of the cervix.

“How are you doing Marlena?” he asked as he pressed on her stomach with his other hand while his fingers still remained inside of her.

“Fine.”

“Almost done okay. I’m just going to insert the speculum and I’ll finish up quickly.” He pulled his fingers out of Marlena and looked to the side at the table which was a little out of reach. “Actually John, could you wheel the table a little closer for me please?”

John did so resentfully. He watched again as the doctor inserted something else inside of Marlena, this time he looked at her expression. He saw her bit her lower lip softly. His blood began to boil, this was more than he could handle. How could a little plastic thing and a q-tip bring her pleasure?

“All done.” The doctor sat up straighter and put the swab in the tube. Tapping on her bare knee, he smiled.

John looked at him, a stone-cold expression on his face. “Are you all done, or will you be poking around inside of her some more?”

“John!” Marlena was shocked at his attitude.

“It’s quite alright,” he smiled politely to Marlena. “No, Mr. Black, I’m all finished.”

John forced a smile and quickly handed Marlena her clothes, never looking away from the doctor. “What about sex?” he asked just as Dr. Hayward was turning the doorknob.

“What about it?”

“Are there any restrictions?”

“Dr. Hayward, please excuse John.” Reaching her arm out she managed to grab onto John’s forearm and she squeezed. “He’s not normally like this.”

“Jealous?” he chuckled. “It happens a lot in my line of work. Many husbands experience jealous instincts when their wives are naked and open for another man, even if it’s just for medical purposes.”

“He’s not…We’re not…”

“To answer your question, no there are no limitations,” he directed this to John. “Unless there starts to be bleeding or pain of course, but everything on the ultrasound and the physical examination looked great so I don’t foresee any issues where that is concerned.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” John nodded.

“I’ll be back shortly.” Dr. Hayward smiled at the both of them and quickly left the room.

***

As soon as they left the office, Marlena turned to John, furious. “Was that really necessary? You made me feel so uncomfortable in there. It was so awkward, I pray that I never have to see him again.”

John didn’t stop walking as he said, “That makes two of us.”

“John, I don’t get it. You say —“ turning a corner, they nearly collided with someone coming from the other direction.

“My apologies,” John said immediately as he took a step back. “Ah,” he laughed sarcastically when he noticed who the person was.

Marlena was surprised. “James!”

“John, Marlena,” he greeted shyly. “This is unexpected.” James rearranged the stethoscope around his neck that had begun to slide down more to one side. This was awkward, and he didn’t know what to say. The last thing he expected was to see the both of them together.

Looking to his side at Marlena and then before them to James, John cleared his throat and said, “I’ll leave you two love birds alone.” He began walking away, not looking back.

“John!” Marlena called out, annoyed and she sighed as he walked away.

“Are you alright?” James asked quickly, wondering why she was at the hospital. “What brings you by the hospital?”

She was quick to smile reassuringly. “I’m just fine. Nothing to worry about.”

“If you say so.” James shrugged. He really wanted to ask why she and John were there together. “I haven’t spoken to you in a while, how are things?”

Marlena gave a friendly smile, although she would rather be chasing after John right now. What was his problem? “It has been a long time,” she nodded in agreement. “Things are really good.”

“I’m glad to hear.” Was it just him or was this conversation really awkward? She looked so good standing there in an army green button up blouse and jeans, and all he wanted to do was talk to her but if felt forced. “You look great,” he complimented.

Marlena tucked her hair behind her ear and mouthed a simple “thank you”.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt you and John.”

She shook her head when her phone beeped. She looked at her phone, hoping the text she received was from John, but it wasn’t. It was from Laura. “I have to go,” she said apologetically.

Less confident, he said, “You have to go find John, I understand…I have to get going too.”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

James looked her up and down and cautiously said, “I didn’t think you two would get together again but I can’t blame him for wanting you back.”

“We’re not back together.” Her voice wasn’t as strong as it usually was. “I…I really have to go.”

They shared an awkward goodbye. Several minutes later, Marlena found John leaning against her car door, head down looking at his phone.

“I didn’t think you’d still be here, much less waiting for me.” She was sarcastic and angry.

He shrugged a shoulder, putting his phone in his pocket. “I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said nonchalantly.

“As a matter of fact, I’m not okay. I want to know what your problem is.” She crossed her arms and furrowed her brows. “You tell me that you want nothing to do with me except for the baby and then you kiss me and act all jealous and like I belong to you in front of not one but two people. Tell me what that’s all about.”

“I got caught up in the moment when I saw the baby on the monitor. That’s all that kiss was.” He smiled at a passerby who looked their way, waiting until he left to continue. “And I’m sorry that I get a little unnerved about another man seeing your most private parts while you’re pregnant with my baby. Not to mention the fact that you openly moaned and enjoyed yourself at the hand of another man in front of me!” he seethed. “Do what you want, but not while you’re carrying my baby.”

She angrily dropped her purse from her shoulder and moved closer to him. “Would you please move out of my way?” she demanded.

“So you’re just going to leave?”

“Yes, because you do not get to dictate what I do with my body.” She kept her voice low and controlled, not needing a scene.

John grabbed onto her wrist, holding her tightly close to him as he said above a whisper, “As long as that body of yours is carrying my baby —“

“John, let go of my arm. I do not want to talk about this with you.” She stared him down sternly, not stopping until he finally released her arm. She took a step back. “For the record, I do not want to be with anyone else, so you don’t have to worry about that. But if you think that you seriously don’t want anything to do with me, then you need to seriously reevaluate your jealousy. I’m not going to let you punish me for your own insecurities and jealousy.” Pushing him back, she got in her car and quickly slammed the door. She didn’t give him a second look as she sped off.

​Marlena sat in a booth of a diner midway between the hospital and her office, meeting Laura there for lunch. She half listened as Laura talked about the possibility of her and Bill Horton moving in together. Every now and then she would throw in an “ahh”, “that’s great”, or “mhmm” as she picked at her salad, not really hungry.

“I don’t know…What do you think I should do?” Laura asked.

“Hmm?” Marlena blinked, returning to the moment. “Oh uh, I think it’s great. If you’re ready of course. It’s only been several months, do you think you are ready?”

Laura smiled and shrugged. “I do love him, I’m just afraid of ruining what we have right now.”

Marlena placed her fork down and pushed her plate away. “Have you talked to him about your concerns?”

Laughing nervously, Laura wiped the corners of her mouth. “I know I should probably do that,” she said.

Marlena smiled. “It’s the only way this will work. You have to talk about it and you both have to be open and willing to work together to overcome your doubts and obstacles.”

Laura nodded and smiled appreciatively before pausing to observe Marlena. “Thank you for being so amazing.”

Marlena frowned her brows, unsure what she did. Laughing nervously, she said, “what did I do?”

“You’re there for me even when I know there is something bothering you.” When Marlena averted her eyes, Laura tapped her arm across the table and continued. “You don’t let anything get in the way of helping others in need, that’s what makes you such a great doctor.”

Marlena smiled, getting chocked up. “You’re amazing too.” She didn’t know how she would have made it through the past couple of years without Laura’s love and help.

“You’re not as good an actress as you think you are…Do you want to talk about what’s troubling you?”

She sighed deeply. “I never planned to be a single mom…”

Laura smiled reassuringly as she reached across the table and squeezed Marlena’s wrist. “Sometimes you have to let go of the picture you thought it would be like and learn to enjoy the story you are living.”

“I know you’re right. I just feel guilty,” she admitted for the first time. “I know it’s not really fair to bring a baby into a broken relationship, but I want this baby, I think I need this baby. Also, I feel so guilty that this baby won’t get to have both parents there for him or her all the time like I did.”

“It’s not selfish to want to have your baby…this baby is going to have so much love whether or not his or her parents are together,” Laura assured her as Marlena nodded.

“I know you’re right. It’s just going to be hard being around someone who hates me, you know?” Deep down she knew that John would ease up and they would work things out for the sake of their child, but right now was not that time.

“I know his behavior says otherwise but John does not hate you! He’s just having a hard time dealing with his feelings and he’s taking it out on you because you’re right there.” Looking across the table, Laura wanted to hurt John for the way he was making Marlena feel. This was her best friend and for the second time she was hurting because of John Black.

“I know what you’re saying makes sense but I’m finding it hard to believe it right now! Laura, what am I going to do? I can’t take this. It’s all about him and his pain and he gets to treat me like crap!”

“Want me to kick his ass?”

Half joking, Marlena said, “maybe one day, but not today.”

***

“John Black,” he said into the phone, thankful for the unexpected call and the much-needed distraction.

“Hi John, it’s Laura.”

“Ah Laura! I must admit, this is a surprise. Is everything alright with Marlena and the baby?” Sitting up straighter in his chair, John closed his eyes and reveled in the distraction.

“Yes, I’m sure you weren’t expecting me to call.” She said it in such a calm and soothing voice that John was surprised when her tone suddenly went sour and accusatory. “You just thought that you could go and do what you’d like, whenever you’d like, and nobody would call you out on it.”

He sighed, running a hand over his tired face. At this moment he wished he hadn’t picked up the phone. It was no longer an enjoyable distraction. “Is there a point to this call, Laura?”

“I’m getting tired of having to bitch at you for you to actually wake up and come to your senses. Tell me something John, have you always been this self-centered and clueless? Or have you been hiding it so well all these years, up until now?”

He was getting annoyed. “Laura.”

“You’re about to be a father,” she reminded, going another route. “Imagine if this was another man treating your daughter the way you are treating Marlena. How would that make you feel?”

There was no need to think about it. John knew right away what his response would be. “I’d want to rip his damn head off.”

“Yeah…” Exactly what she thought he would say. “I’m pretty sure Frank would feel the same way if he knew how you were treating his daughter. I’m surprised he doesn’t already know.”

There was a silent pause before John heard the dial tone. She had hung up on him. Taking the phone away from his ear, John slammed his fist down on the desk, upset. What the hell happened to my life for it to become such a mess.

***

“Cynthia, please book Kathrina an appointment for next week.” Marlena smiled at the woman, whispering some final reassuring words before she left.

As the woman’s next appointment was being confirmed, John walked in. Marlena looked over her shoulder, noticing him holding a bouquet of flowers, and tried to go back to her office when he stopped her with a hand wrapped around her elbow. She set her eyes on him, warning him without causing a scene.

John let go of her arm and they stood silently looking at each other while waiting until Kathrina left.

Faking joy, Marlena wished her patient a wonderful week and watched as she disappeared. “John, I don’t want to see you,” she whispered through gritted teeth. How she wished he would listen and leave it be, not rising more suspicions from the woman behind the reception desk.

“Would you like me to call security?” Cynthia offered, ready to reach for the phone at the go ahead. This man wouldn’t quit. What was his obsession with Marlena?

“No thank you,” she smiled her way before looking back at John. “John’s leaving.”

He knew that her gaze was meant as a warning, but he pushed forward. “I’m sorry about what happened yesterday.”

She sighed heavily, rolling her head to the side. “You’re always sorry. You always have flowers. Flowers aren’t enough.” She tried to walk into her office when John’s words stopped her in her tracks.

“I’m also here to talk about the baby.”

“John!” she gasped, looking to Cynthia right away and noticing how the secretary averted her eyes quickly.

John grinned to himself, side stepping her and walking into her nicely decorated office.

Shutting the door behind her, she crossed her arms and leaned her back against it. “I don’t appreciate you talking about my personal life in front of others.”

“She was bound to find out anyways.”

“That’s not the point. John, I’m sick and tired all the time, and I’m tired of arguing with you for reasons I don’t even understand.” She finished with throwing her hands up in the air, frustrated. Shaking her head, she bypassed him and went to her desk, rearranging the files at the corner.

“That’s why I’m here to apologize. My treatment of you is not fair and I truly am sorry.”

She kept her back to him, biting the inside of her cheek. She was struggling internally. On one hand she was still angry at him and the fact that he thought flowers and an ‘I’m sorry’ would be enough, and on the other hand she wanted to forgive him. Wanting to be the bigger person Marlena turned around and said, “Would you mind telling me why you acted that way?”

John swallowed his pride and chose to tell her what he was feeling. “You’re a hard woman to let go of, Marlena,” he admitted, placing the flowers on the coffee table in the middle of the office. “The thought of you with another man drives me crazy, and then to see you react the way you did with that doctor yesterday…” he trailed off, shaking his head. He was ashamed of his jealousy when he shouldn’t be experiencing those feelings.

Looking at him with query eyes, Marlena brushed the hair from her eyes. “That moan you mentioned yesterday…it wasn’t from pleasure. It was god damn uncomfortable actually. Nothing about that exam felt good or got me off.”

Shit. “I didn’t know that at the time. I let my jealousy cloud my judgement.”

“Yes, you did. John, I think you need to talk to someone, or at the very least figure out what you want. You can’t have it both ways. You say you don’t want anything to do with me, then you have to let me go.”

“I know.”

She crossed her arms across her chest, shielding herself. “Maybe we need a little time apart. Just for a little bit. Just to cool off. I’ll still keep you in the loop in regard to the baby if anything happens, but I think it would be best if you and I kept our distances for a bit.”

John stood there with a blank expression on his face, not saying a word. It appeared as though he was in a trance, and Marlena was contemplating if she should say something else. Deciding against it, she sighed and turned her back to him, returning to organizing her desk.

“The first time I saw you…” John began, sounding dazed.

Although not turning to face him, her hands stilled on the edge of the desk and she listened, hopeful and intrigued.

Clearing his throat, John tried again. “The first time I saw you, you looked up at me and you smiled, and it took my breath away…” He turned silent, hoping to get a response from her, but when almost a minute had passed, and he received nothing, he continued. “You probably don’t remember…you had one of those French braid things in your hair with a flowy red dress and just as fast as you came, you were gone.”

It was at this point that Marlena slowly turned to face him, an open-mouthed look of amazement plastering her beautiful face. “You remember what I was wearing?” she asked, really surprised.

“Of course…I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” he admitted, raising an eyebrow and smiling contently as he remembered that day. “Man, was I ever happy when I saw you again a few weeks later at the Pub. You were occupying one of the booths…the table was filled with some textbooks, I didn’t dare go up to you.”

Her chest was tight, amazed at this new and profound revelation. “Why didn’t you?”

John shrugged sheepishly. “You seemed deep in concentration, I didn’t want to disrupt you. Not to mention that I was just some stranger then. So, I gazed at you from afar.”

She blinked. “That’s creepy.”

He grinned. “What can I say, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you,” he finished the sentence with eyes roaming her body.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me this?”

Unsure, he shrugged. “I don’t know, never the right time, or maybe I never thought about sharing until now…So a couple of months went by after that day and I hadn’t seen you again. I thought that the pretty blonde that I had only laid eyes on twice, the same one who had been on my mind constantly, was gone.”

Marlena blushed and swallowed. She couldn’t let him sweet talk her. Crossing her arms over her chest, she leaned against the edge of her desk.

“You know, you come across millions of people, some just in passing and you never see them again. I thought that’s what had happened. I thought that I couldn’t possibly be lucky as to get to know you…”

“Oh John…”

“And then this one night…This life altering night, the blonde that had been occupying my thoughts for the better part of three months walked through the door of The Cheating Heart with Lexie.” He let his smile speak for itself. “I didn’t think it was real until she introduced you to us and I vowed then that I wouldn’t let you disappear again. I had to know you. You couldn’t be one of those people who passed me by.”

She felt the lump rising in her throat, impeding her ability to speak properly. “Are you doing this on purpose? You know I’m extra emotional right now. Are you trying to make me cry?”

“No…” John shook his head softly, admiring the way she looked. “I can’t stand to see you cry. I’m just trying to explain why it’s hard for me to let you go.”

“And you think this is any easier for me? It’s not! Being around you is unbearable for me!” Being this close to him but not being able to claim him as her man, it was too hard. It was like an addict who was working really hard to stay sober, but their drug of choice was constantly being flaunted in their face. John was her drug. “I don’t know, I just feel so confused…and when you treat me like that, I…I don’t know, it just makes things worse.”

“When I treat you like what?”

Ashamed, she looked down. “With tenderness.”

“I don’t know what you want from me!” John admitted, frustrated with the back and forth.

“I want you to stop playing around with my feelings!”

It was with an understanding look and warm voice that John said, “Everything’s going to be okay.”

“Is it? I don’t know that.”

Her doe like eyes made John weak in the knees. “I’m going to work on my issues,” he admitted, although struggling. “I don’t have any claim on you and therefore, I have no say in what you do, and I have no right to be angry about it.” He took a few steps closer to her. “I just want us to be friends. Can we do that? Is that too much to ask?”

Marlena smiled warmly. “That would be so nice. I think it’s what our child deserves. It doesn’t deserve to be born into a life where his or her parents can’t get along. I want to give this baby the best and the happiest life I can.”

John couldn’t believe he was having a baby with her. Sometimes life had a strange way of playing out. He looked at her, knowing instantly that she would be a wonderful mother. “You took the words right out of my mouth,” he said.

“So we’re good?” she asked, hopeful.

John nodded. “We’re good.” He pulled her into a hug, embracing the peace.

There was a knock at the door. “Oh.” She pulled out of his embrace. “That must be my next patient.”

“I better go. I’m glad we had this talk.”

“Me too. Goodbye John.”

He opened the door and let the next patient in. “Sorry for taking up her time, but she’s all yours now…Have a good day, Cynthia.”

Here I am, nearly 20 weeks pregnant and not only are we basically half way there, but it is finally starting to show that you are here. Actually, to others it may only look like I’ve gained weight, but I can tell that the small swell underneath my shirt is because of you. I’m so in love with being pregnant that I’ve even begun to wear tighter shirts so that people can tell it’s because of you baby, and not because I’ve simply gotten fat. 

You’re finally growing, and I felt you flutter around inside for the first time this morning. My heart felt like it was literally going to melt. I didn’t think it was possible for me to fall even more in love with you as each day passes and I haven’t even seen you or held you in my arms yet. But do me a favor, take your time. As excited as I am to meet you, I am terribly afraid to welcome you into this big scary world. I’m afraid I’m going to disappoint you.

Oh, and before I forget, I’m a little sad that you wouldn’t let your daddy and I know if you are a boy or a girl during our last scan. I suppose you did not want to open your legs because you were being too stubborn. I’ll let you in on a little secret, you get that from both your father and I. But do me a favor okay? We have another appointment at the end of next week and we would love to know what you are. We can’t wait to find out if you are our son or daughter…Especially me. I can’t wait to go out and buy you a tiny sporty outfit or a dress.

I’m just SO EXCITED to meet you, and hug you, and kiss you. It’s crazy to think you’re exactly one half of me and one half of your father. I hope you get his good looks and his gorgeous eyes.  

Speaking of John, Marlena’s phone beeped and buzzed when John texted her. Are we still on for lunch?

She looked at the time, noticing she had lost track of time. She still had to get dressed. Yes. I’ll just be a few minutes late, she replied.

At the Pub Bo and Hope joined them for lunch, catching up like they hadn’t done in so long. It was too long before Caroline was bringing out their food, a big smile spread across her face.

“Well this is just like old times huh?” she said while laying out the plates.

“A little,” answered Hope, squeezing Bo’s arm and smiling.

Looking at Marlena, she smiled softly. “How are you feeling dear?”

“I feel like I have something sucking all the energy out of my body,” she admitted truthfully. She was constantly tired, needing mid-day naps, her body felt heavy and sluggish, and she struggled to get out of bed every morning.

Caroline squeezed her shoulder. “Just you wait until that something is born and then you’ll see how much energy it takes,” she half joked. “That one,” she pointed to Bo, “that one was the worst of them all.”

The gang laughed as Bo retorted something clever to which Caroline groaned and left them to their lunch. They were talking plans for the day, Marlena mentioning that she would be stopping by the paint store on the way home. “I want the baby’s room to be a nice, soft yellow,” Marlena said to Hope as the guys talked sports.

“We don’t even know the gender yet,” John laughed, butting in.

“Yellow is gender neutral, it won’t matter. I already have an idea of exactly how I want the nursery to look like.” She had an image of a jungle themed room with elephants, giraffes, monkeys, etc.

“What were you thinking?” asked Hope, so happy to see the light in Marlena’s eyes.

“I was in Ikea once and I walked by this animal themed nursery that they had all set up. I immediately liked it.”

“I’ve been thinking about that too, in fact,” said John. He already had a room designated as a nursery and he was looking forward to the days when his son or daughter would be home with him. “Although I’m going to wait until we know if we’re having a boy or a girl because this baby will have a true gender specific room at my place.”

“So how is that going to work?” said Hope, almost afraid to ask. She figured it wasn’t an ideal situation and that her friends might not be comfortable discussing it yet.

John and Marlena looked at each other for a moment, quiet. “It’s going to be touch and go for the first few months,” admitted John.

“Of course I’ll need to feed the baby, but I also want John to be able to spend time with him or her,” Marlena explained, “so we’re just going to play it by ear and adapt to the situation as we go until the baby is ready for overnights.”

It wasn’t the best solution but it’s what they decided could work for their predicament. They would co-parent the best way they knew how, and they were willing to revisit and change things if need be until a consistent routine was established and they could work out shared custody.

Shared custody – that didn’t sound right. They weren’t going to be those parents who didn’t see or speak to each other, parents who lived their own lives while ignoring the other, only speaking when exchanging the kids. No, they wanted their child to grow up with a family. They wanted their child to know that mommy and daddy cared for the other. They would spend time together as a family, going out and enjoying themselves, spending holidays together. That’s what co-parenting was to them.

“You two are going to be great parents,” Hope complimented, sure of it.

“Think so?” John chuckled. “I don’t even know what I’m doing, I don’t know anything about kids.” He looked at Marlena apologetically, knowing that he would have lots to learn while she’d be a pro. “I’m reading these books and it’s scary and overwhelming.”

“You’re panicking for nothing,” Marlena reassured.

“Marlena’s right,” added Hope. “You’ll look at that baby and everything will finally make sense and you’ll learn as you go.”

“We’ll figure it out together,” Marlena said sweetly to John.

They finished their lunch and stayed for desert, enjoying this nice time with their friends before Marlena decided to head out. “I’m going to take advantage of this nice weekend off and I’m going to get some errands done. It was nice having lunch together. John, I’ll talk to you later.”

“I’m actually going to tag along with you if you don’t mind. I’m in the baby spirit.”

“Alrighty then.” Marlena grabbed her purse from the back of her chair and hugged both her friends goodbye.

“Let’s go. I’ll drive,” said John. “I’ll drop you off after.”

They spent the afternoon running errands; stopping at the paint store where Marlena found the perfect color for the baby’s room; they stopped at the grocery store where Marlena bought some more prenatal vitamins and a few things that she had been craving; and finally, they stopped at the baby store.

“There’s no crib, no changing table, very few clothes, no wipes, no diapers, no bottles…” Marlena continued to list items that she would need once the baby came.

John laughed internally, finding amusement in her need to be overprepared when she was only half way through the pregnancy. “Why do we need bottles if you’re going to be breastfeeding?”

“While I do plan to breastfeed the baby,” she said while pushing the cart down an aisle, eyeing everything she passed, “I will need to pump milk to relieve pressure when I’m unable to feed so that I can keep the glands stimulated to produce the amount of milk necessary to give the baby the proper amount of substance needed,” she explained, “and for you to be able to feed the baby if I’m not around for some reason.” Then a little louder still, she turned to a beat-red John, “I need to add a breast pump to the list. I’d almost forgotten.”

“Why don’t you wait until your baby shower? I’m sure you’ll get all of that and more.”

“But I don’t want to wait,” her voice was full of life as she said it. “I’m just so excited and I feel like I have to be doing something or I’ll go crazy.”

“Okay,” he nodded, not wanting to upset her. “Let’s just take it slow then?” he suggested. “Not everything has to be bought now, save a little for the shower.” Coming up to the clothing section, John looked around, gently running his fingers over the little strawberries on a pink onesie and he read the writing in the middle, Daddy’s Sugar Pieright above a picture of a pie. “Isn’t it going to be hard to pick things like clothes and stuff when we don’t know if it’s a boy or girl?” John asked for the second time that day.

“Maybe, but I can just pick things that could go either way.”

***

It was the next week and Marlena rolled the paint roller down the wall, smiling widely. The light grey paint looked great and she was sure it would look perfect with the animal theme she had in mind.

“I still don’t think you should be doing this, Marlena,” John said as he painted the wall on the other side of the room.

Marlena’s smile faded and was replaced by a groan. She took off the mask that covered her mouth and nose, so she wouldn’t have to smell the paint’s fumes. “Seriously, John.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m pregnant, not sick. Don’t treat me like a child.”

“I don’t.” He put the paint brush down and walked to her. “I’m just worried about your health.”

“Then don’t.” He stared at her a little more and she couldn’t help but to shoot him a glare. “I’m a doctor.”

“Marlena…”

She sighed and put the roller down and John grinned, but it quickly faded away as she slapped his chest.

“Ow!” He groaned, staring at the place she had hit just a second ago like it was burning. “What was that for?”

“For making me feel like I can’t do anything!”

Here we go, he thought. “I just don’t want you to overdo anything and forgive me for being a little paranoid when it comes to yours and the baby’s health. I’m not a doctor, I don’t know anything, so that makes me a little overprotective.”

Marlena smiled. “That’s very sweet.” Then her smile dropped, her face serious. “But you’re driving me crazy.”

“Okay, okay.” John held his hands up, willing to compromise. “We’ll make a deal. I’ll let you do all the decorations since you already have a layout all done up in your mind. But you’re won’t paint anything else in this room.”

She shuffled and stepped back, crossing her arms and John couldn’t help but to sigh in frustration.

“No.” She disagreed.

John groaned and walked closer. She stepped back one again, step by step closer to the wall, until she was too close. “Okay…how about I throw in a homemade dinner?”

“Are you trying to bribe me?” She tried to sound angry, but her voice was playful, eyes shining, lips smiling, giving him a hint that she was not.

“Maybe I am.” He cracked a smile.

“I’m going to need more.” She winked.

“Alright.” He murmured, voice low. “You can paint that wall you’ve started already, but only that one. Deal?”

“Mhmmmm.” She bit her lower lip sexily. “Deal.”

***

She heard his footsteps descending the stairwell, coming closer in the direction of the kitchen, just as she was starting to wash the dishes.

“It smells good in here,” John commented once he entered the room. His pale denim jeans had a few paint strokes on them, and he wore a worn out light grey T-shirt. “Are those cookies?”

On the island there sat a plate with chocolate chip cookies piled on. “I figured that could be your payment for helping me with the nursery.”

“I think I deserve a little more than cookies,” he joked, reaching for one. “It’s a little salty,” he choked out after a small bite.

Marlena let go of the pan she had been cleaning, dropping it in the sudsy water.
“Salty? I..I put a dash of salt in there. It’s what it said to do in the recipe.” She looked at John confused and disappointed.

“How much is a dash? Show me.” He passed her the salt.

She grabbed his hand and began to pour salt into his palm.

“Oh! That’s…that’s more like a handful. Oh my god,” he laughed, dumping the salt in the sink.

She pushed the plate away, upset. “Well great…”

“It’s fine. However, I am thankful that I’m cooking you dinner tonight,” he chuckled, dodging as she attempted to hit him on the arm.

After supper, just as they were finishing with the dishes the doorbell rang. It was Bo.

“Just dropping off this rocking chair. Curtesy of my mom.”

Taking it from Bo, John brought it into the penthouse and put it aside. “It’s great. Marlena’s going to love it! The paint isn’t dry yet in the nursery, so I guess we’ll leave it down here for now.”

“How does it look?” asked Bo. “Did you get any on the walls?” he pointed to John’s clothes.

“Haha.” John shrugged. “I just painted. I don’t know what Marlena has in mind for the rest.”

Just then Marlena was coming from the kitchen, smiling as she noticed Bo standing in her living room. She had a bottle of water in hand.

Bo nodded her way. “Hey! How’s the mommy to be?”

“Good, a little tired.” She shrugged, twisting that cap from the bottle off and taking a swig.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come watch How to Get Away with Murderwith us?” He and Hope were having a couple of friends over to watch this week’s episode.

Marlena smiled. “You guys have fun. I’m just going to snuggle up in bed with a book.”

Looking from her to Bo, John cleared his throat. “I’m just going to run home quickly and change, and I’ll meet you at your place,” he said, looking down at his paint covered attire.

“See you soon, man. Take care Marlena.”

As soon as the door closed behind Bo, John walked to Marlena. “From Caroline,” he said, pointing to the rocking chair.

“I love it,” she whispered, looking down at the detail in the woodwork. Everyone was so great, so supportive, so loving. With the tip of her fingers, she pushed the chair, making it rock back and forth slowly.

“You okay?” Marlena had been quiet since supper and he wasn’t sure as to why.

“I’m good. Like I was telling Bo; water, a good book and I might just go to bed early tonight.”

“Alright, I’ll see you another day. If you need anything —”

Marlena nodded and smiled. “I’ll call,” she said.

***

Using the key that he never gave back, John made his way into the dimly lit room. The apartment was quiet and there weren’t any lights on upstairs. As he was about to go up, he spotted her on the far couch.

A soft smile spread on his face as he watched her sleep peacefully. She must have fallen asleep while reading; a baby book was lying face down on her chest.

Slowly and quietly making his way across the room, John carefully took the book from her and put it on the coffee table. Next, he took the afghan from the back of the couch and slipped it over her body. He took a moment to appreciate her sleeping form; she looked so peaceful and stress free, a slight smile on her lips. Then there was the bulge at her abdomen. She was showing now, and it flooded John with pride. That’s my baby in there.

Bending down to the ground, John sat on the floor. Slowly he placed his hand on her stomach, over the afghan he had just put, careful not to wake her. “Hey kiddo, this is your dad,” he chuckled happily at the thought. “That’s right, I am your father and even though you probably can’t even hear me right now, I just wanted to say how loved you are.” He took a moment to skim his hand across the baby bump. “I know I haven’t met you yet, but I’m already thinking of all the ways I will spoil you. Not to mention when I finally teach you to catch.”

Slowly, Marlena woke up, hearing John’s soft whisper coming from lower. Confused, she was about to say something but then she felt his hand moving along her abdomen, noticing what was happening. Remaining quiet, she relaxed and listened to John share a private moment with their baby.

“I can’t wait for it all,” he gushed close to her belly, “all the good times and the bad times…Truth is, you and I haven’t had much time to bond yet so that’s why I’m sneaking this time in while your mom sleeps…You probably already know this, but your mom is so great. She will be an amazing mom and I’m glad that I get to experience that with her.”

Getting choked up, Marlena struggled not to let out the sob that was building in her throat, but she failed.

John looked up quickly, unaware that she had heard him. “I thought you were sleeping.”

“I was,” she cried, sitting up and crossing her legs together.

“I’m sorry for being here right now. I realize it is probably creepy that I was here while you slept.”

Marlena was quiet for a moment, wiping the last remnants of tears on her cheeks. “You’ll be an amazing dad too,” she said, voice full of emotions as she nodded, playing back what he said in her mind.

Sometimes she wished she didn’t live so far away from her family. From her sister, her father, and her mother. Today was one of those days, especially. How easier would it be to celebrate life and love when your family was right there beside you? Or when one was struggling and just needed their parents.

Thankfully there were phones, and even better these days, FaceTime. Though they may be far apart, this allowed them to stay closer than traditional phone calls could, and brought a certain level of comfort in being able to be face to face, so to speak.

“How are things between you and John?” Martha asked, unsure how things in her daughter’s personal life were going because she did not want to discuss it.

Marlena knew what she really wanted but she did not want to discuss her’s and John’s relationship, or lack of relationship with her mother. “Very good,” she told her. “We’ve really put the baby first and things are great. We haven’t figured out all the technicalities for when he actually comes but I know we’ll find a way to make it work.”

A big smile spread across Martha’s face on the small screen. “He?”

Marlena reciprocated the bright smile and nodded enthusiastically. “We found out this morning.”

“That’s wonderful, honey! Oh, I can’t wait to meet my little grandson!”

Marlena’s small talk with the expectant mother sitting beside her was interrupted as their names were called and they stood up to go over to the hallways leading to the exam rooms. Marlena thought of how close they were to finding out the gender of their baby. Turning into the first room on the left, Marlena grabbed John’s hand and he flashed her a small smile.

She sat down in the bed like chair beside the ultrasound machine and got comfortable as Dr. Bader pulled a pair of gloves on. She walked over and took her blood pressure. After getting checked up on, they were finally ready to do the ultrasound. Rolling up her shirt, the cold from the gel didn’t bother Marlena, she was too excited to react to such a silly thing.

Before showing the baby, Dr. Bader checked on the fetal heart rate and after listening to the angelic sound of it, Marlena let her thoughts wander. She had this feeling inside of her that it was a girl. Names for a girl would be easy, she thought, as she already had some names picked out since high school.

Amelia. Eliza. Olivia. Rosalie. Isabella. Harper. 

Thinking about them now, she realized they mostly all ended with “a”.

Finally ready to see the baby, Dr. Bader moved the probe over her stomach, looking around on the monitor and they saw their little baby. Marlena smiled and looked up to see John beaming as well.

“Can you tell the gender?” John asked excitedly.

“Lucky for us, the baby’s in a great position to tell if your baby’s a prince or a princess,” Dr. Bader said as John squeezed Marlena’s hand and they both nodded enthusiastically. “Congratulations, you’re having a little boy.”

With tears in her eyes, Marlena smiled up at John. “A boy,” she whispered, laughing joyfully. She thought about her list of potential girl names and chuckled internally at the fact that that list was now thrown out the window. 

Marlena nearly teared up just thinking of that moment. “I never knew I could love someone this much.” She admitted to her mom who still had an ear to ear smile. “He’s not even out yet that it almost scares me to think how much more I will love him when he’s finally here. I almost don’t want him to come. I just want to keep him inside of me forever. Protect him forever. This is a big scary world, I’m almost afraid to welcome him into it. It’s not like it was when I was young. The world is fucked now. I’m afraid to bring a child into this world.”

Martha knew what she meant, but she also knew that part of those fears came with being a first-time mother and the fear of the unknown. “Kind of too late now,” she chuckled.

“Don’t get me wrong. I love my son. I don’t regret him at all,” she was quick to say, laying her free hand on her bump. “I just wish the world was a safer place. I wish I were older that way he could have been born before it got all screwed up.”

Martha sat in her kitchen thousands of miles away, not worried one bit about Marlena. “Don’t worry so much. You’ll be a wonderful mother. You’ll raise him right from wrong and I have no doubt you’ll protect him fiercely.”

“Of course, and I know that too. But sometimes I feel anxious about the prospect of becoming a mother and having responsibility for another life. I worry that I will fail him, that he won’t be happy when he grows up and it will be my fault.”

“I felt the same way when I was pregnant with you and your sister and finding out I was having twins made it even worse,” admitted Martha. “I thought there was no way your father and I could do it but look at you girls now. I don’t think we did that bad of a job.”

Marlena was amazed by her mother, never once remembering a time when her mother looked afraid or like she did not know what she was doing. She always thought of her parents as pros. “You were — are great parents.”

“And you and Sam are great daughters, so you made it a lot easier.”

Marlena let out a scoff, followed by a laugh. “We were challenging at times,” she reminded her mother. “Like when Sam locked me inside a cupboard.”

Martha raised a knowing eyebrow, remembering little squabbles here and there. “I will agree with that, but those times are nothing in the grand scheme of things.”

Marlena shrugged, not totally reassured. “I guess.”

“The moment your son is born you’ll finally understand the love, the joy, the fear, and the tears that I experienced daily. Becoming a parent is the hardest job, but it’s also the most rewarding. You’ll never regret it.” Martha continued to fill her daughter’s ears with motherly advice and inspiring stories until eventually the subject changed from baby boy Evans Black to something else.

“I ran into John’s ex-girlfriend today…” Marlena trailed off, unease present in her voice. “She really hates me.”

“Want to talk about what happened?” Martha offered.

There she was, just minding her business, when she spotted a familiar face although it was already too late by then. Oh god, it’s Rebecca. Marlena’s heart started to race when Rebecca’s face landed on her and it dropped, shock and horror setting in. Rebecca averted her eyes as Marlena put the picture of the baby’s scan in her purse quickly. 

“You’re actually such a bitch,” spat Rebecca, “I could still be John’s girlfriend right now. The reason we aren’t together is because of you. That’s becoming more and more clear each passing day.” Her eyes travelled back down to Marlena’s mid-section, her heart breaking the more she saw it. “From the looks of it you jumped on him as soon as he walked out on me.”

Taking a step back, Marlena adjusted her purse in front of her, hiding her stomach. “I’m sorry you feel that way and I’m sorry for hurting you, but you’re wrong.”

Her eyes snapped shut. “Don’t! I don’t want to hear what you have to say.” Rebecca slowly opened her eyes again, defeat written all over her face. “I should have known. From the moment I noticed the first little signs, I should have known you’d be trouble. I underestimated your appeal…It was always you.”

“I…I have to go,” said Marlena. “I really am sorry about everything.” Hurriedly, Marlena walked back down the hall where she came from, back towards Dr. Bader’s office, until she came upon the stairwell. 

Marlena blinked and cleared her throat. “I mean, I know what I did was wrong, but I didn’t do it deliberately to hurt her. But when she saw me — saw my stomach…I don’t know why I’m letting it bother me. She and John have been over for a while, it happened after.” She started to tear up.

“Oh honey.” Martha wished she could be there to comfort her daughter. “Don’t beat yourself up. The truth is this baby was conceived once John was single again so there is nothing wrong with that. You certainly did not do her wrong with this.”

She cried some more. “Seeing her and the look on her face…I don’t know why I’m reacting this way! Gosh, I really hurt her! I knew what we were doing was wrong, but I didn’t care. I wanted it. And now she probably thinks John left her for me and that we’re starting a family.”

“You are starting a family,” Martha reminded her affirmatively.

“But not like that! People must think I’m a home wrecker.” Marlena looked down to her lap, her free hand playing with a thread from the throw beside her on the sofa.

“They can think what they want to think, but you know the truth. John knows the truth. You’re the only two involved, so that’s all that matters.” Martha looked at her daughter’s face on her phone, disappointed that she couldn’t offer her more than reassuring words that most likely wouldn’t help. “Would you like me to come to Salem for a bit? You look like you need your mama.”

She shook her head, using her fingers to wipe the tears away from her reddened cheeks. “I’ll always need you, but I think it’s just these stupid hormones.”

“I love you, baby. And I think you’ll be an amazing mother,” she said sincerely, knowing without a doubt that it would be true.

Marlena nodded, holding back a sob. “Love you too.”

“I’m going to let you go before I make you cry any more than I already am. You call me if you need anything alright? Day or night, I’ll be there for you and I can be on a plane to Salem in a heartbeat if you need me.”

“Thanks mom.”

After hanging up with her mom and collecting herself, Marlena left the penthouse and made her way to John’s office.

John smiled when she walked through the door. “Hey! This is a surprise. I didn’t expect to see you again today.” He closed the lid of his laptop and cleared his throat.

Marlena shrugged, unable to hide that something was bothering her.

With a raised eyebrow, John eyed her as she looked aimlessly around the office. “Madison, would you please bring in some iced tea and maybe some chocolate?” he spoke into the speakerphone. “What’s wrong?” he asked Marlena.

Marlena shook her head dismissively. “Nothing.”

“I know you. Come on,” leading her by the hand, he sat her down in one of the guest chairs before his desk, “tell me what’s bothering you.”

Just then there was a soft knock at the door and Madison walked in with a smile and a tray. “Here you go, Mr. Black.” She set the tray on the glass end table beside the sofa, acknowledging Marlena with a nod of the head. “Congratulations on your baby boy, Dr. Evans,” she smiled. “Is there anything else I could get you?”

“That’s good, thank you Madison.” John led her out and closed the door behind her. “Want some?” he pointed to the tray of mixed chocolates and glasses of cold tea. When she shook her head John once again asked her what was on her mind.

With wide eyes, she looked up at him sitting on the edge of his desk. “Am I the reason you and Rebecca broke up?”

“What?”

This was an uncomfortable subject for the both of them, but she needed to know. “If it weren’t for me…If I had told you no, would you still be with her?”

He sighed, not wanting to talk to his ex about the demise of his other relationship. “Where is this coming from?” he crossed his arms.

“Please just answer the question.”

“No,” he sighed again. “It had nothing to do with you.” There was a pause while he took her in. The blonde hair tucked behind her ears, the dark blue jeans with a white t-shirt and black blazer opened, the baby bump sticking out. “At the most, you helped me realize that my feelings for her were fading.”

“So, I am to blame,” she concluded, fiddling with her thumbs within her lap.

John tapped his fingers on the edge of his desk. “Not what I said. I would have figured it out eventually,” he shrugged. “You just helped to speed up the process. I think if it hadn’t been for you, I would have been blind to the situation for much longer.”

She nodded, coming to a stand and pacing around the room. “Did you leave her for me?” she asked when her back was to him.

“For you? You do realize that we are not together right?”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course I know that. I just mean…I don’t know what I mean.”

“Things ended between us because I no longer had feelings for her, and it wasn’t fair that I kept leading her on and hurting her. As for you and I…I couldn’t help myself.” Marlena looked to him over her shoulder. “Our sex has always been amazingly spine shattering. Obviously…we got a little carried away which is how this little guy happened.”

“Yeah…” she agreed sadly, turning completely to face him.

He stood up then, digging his hands in his pockets and taking a couple steps forward. “I don’t regret it. Sure, things happened messily but I wanted it. I wanted you.” There was a pregnant pause as they locked eyes from across the room, tension flying. “I can’t regret something that I wanted, and because of that we are having a son. Was he unexpected? Yes. A surprise? Yes. But never a mistake.” He now stood before her, his hands reaching out to cup her stomach.

They both looked down to the baby, not speaking.

“Rebecca knows…” Marlena eventually said, putting a hand on her hip and looking past John and out the window.

He nodded, removing his hands from her stomach and stepping back. “Okay…Thanks. It’s not like it’s a big secret, I’m surprised she didn’t find out sooner,” he admitted. “You okay?”

Marlena rubbed her stomach in circles in a comforting manner. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just emotional.”

“Is there anything you would like me to do?”

She shook her head softly. “I just wanted to speak with you.”

“Would you like some chocolate?” he offered again, knowing that it could work wonders at times.

Marlena politely denied again, but a smile creeped up on her face when he mentioned ice cream.

“If you want to hang out here for just a little while longer, we could go get some ice cream. I just have to finish up an email.”

As he typed away Marlena began walking aimlessly around the office, making her way behind his desk and enjoying the city view. Turning around, she peaked over his shoulder at his screen. “Who’s Kristen?” she asked, seeing the email recipient.

John didn’t stop typing as he replied. “She’s the one I hired to run the Chicago office.”

“I see.” She continued to look around, her eyes landing on a picture frame on John’s desk. It was the ultrasound picture of from earlier during the day. She smiled, rubbing her stomach smoothly. “Almost done? Your son wants ice cream.”

​She was 28 weeks. This meaning that she was roughly seven months pregnant. It was actually quite interesting, how she didn’t even know the little person growing inside of her, yet she would do anything for the baby, and she loved him with all of her heart.

That still didn’t stop how horrible these months had been. Marlena really wanted to punch the person who started the whole theory about how pregnancy was a beautiful and amazing thing. Ha! It wasn’t like a fairytale, unless you think that the constant need to urinate, the achiness, swollen ankles, insomnia and excessive cravings were a beautiful thing.

Every time she passed a restaurant or store, all she thought about was food. She craved the most ridiculous combinations, too. Not to mention that she had started to sweat a whole lot more now. But she did have to admit that the pregnancy had given her skin a fantastic glow.

Sighing, Marlena heaved herself out of bed, placing her hands gently on her now bigger tummy. As she looked in mirror, she actually liked what she saw. Her eyes shone brightly in the soft lights, her hair looking silky and smooth, and of course, her skin was glowing. She turned to the side as she lifted up her shirt, exposing the protruding stomach. It was very easy to know that she was pregnant now. Her stomach was getting bigger and her face a little fuller, not to mention her very swollen breasts.

At the hospital she heard the nasty remarks circulated by the nosy assistants, administrators, nurses and other doctors. As one of the lawyers representing the hospital and spending increasing amounts of time there, Rebecca was well known around the building. They knew.

Even if Marlena was no longer on staff at University Hospital, they knew. They knew that Marlena slept with John while he was with Rebecca, finally managing to steal him away and getting knocked up with his child. The looks, the averted eyes and the whispers as she went to her OBGYN appointments or when she met up with Laura told her just that. Although, it didn’t bother her as much as she had anticipated. She knew what really happened, but she was sure Rebecca had embellished the story to make it seem like Marlena was a bigger monster.

Pushing her hair back, Marlena leaned both palms on the bathroom sink and looked at herself closely in the mirror, thinking about how her life would be completely changed soon and none of today’s worries would matter. But until then, she had to keep living through each day until her son decided to come and change everything. So, for now Marlena turned the hot water on in the shower and began to undress.

Today would be a long day, she thought, as she stepped under the rush of steaming water, each droplet feeling like heaven on her aching and uncomfortable body. First, she had a meeting with Dr. Winthrop and then the real work day began with back to back patients until the end of the day. After that she had a dentist appointment.

It was also the day that John came back from his week-long trip to Chicago and they had been invited to have supper at his parents’ house. She felt a little nervous about the latter considering this would be the first time she saw Mr. and Mrs. Black since she became pregnant and it would be the first time spending time with them in years, besides the occasional run ins. She wasn’t sure what to expect tonight.

***

He watched silently as she descended the stairs, eyes glued to her glowing body. She radiated warmth and happiness. “Wow, that’s my boy,” he said, amazed that her stomach was growing bigger and bigger every day. He had been in Chicago all week and he had not expected his son to be growing that fast.

“He’s getting very big. A little too big, too fast for my liking,” she complained, now having to wear maternity clothes much to her dismay. The clothes were comfortable; she’d give them that. But they weren’t exactly her style. Now donning a long sleeve shirt and leggings, she walked to the sofa, plumping down hard. “He can stop growing at any time,” she added as she scratched her side, the stretching skin irritating her. “I don’t want to become a whale just yet.”

John laughed as he brought her boots and winter coat. “You’re far from a whale, and even if you were, you’d be the prettiest whale there ever was.” She glared at him to which he laughed. “Oh come on. You’re creating a human life and you look damn good doing it. There isn’t anything that would change that.”

Marlena rolled her eyes, not believing him. “Just you wait, you’ll see,” she warned. “I’ve got three months to go.” As she struggled to zip up her coat she sighed. “I can’t even do this up. I’ve outgrown this coat.” She sat down again, annoyed. “There’s a black coat upstairs in my room. I wore it earlier today and it was fine.”

“Say no more.” John quickly went up the stairs, taking two at a time, and came back with said coat. “Here, let me help you.” He helped her slip it on, fixing and pulling her hair from out of it. “Let’s go.”

***

After supper was finished, they moved into the living room, enjoying a nightcap, except for Marlena who had tea. She sat between John and the arm of the couch while Phillip sat on the other side of John, and Katherine sat in the chair off to the side as they engaged in an animated conversation.

Yet tonight, Marlena couldn’t seem to focus on the conversation. She found herself staring at John as he spoke with his dad, a smile on his face, his eyes crinkling with joy. He looked so handsome in that moment, the way the light of the fireplace bounced across his features made her stomach flutter.

Then she felt it again.

Letting out a gasp, she clutched John’s forearm, her nails digging into the skin. Marlena felt it again.

“Marlena? What is it?” John’s soft voice brought her back to the real world.

She slowly turned her head toward him, eyes as wide as saucers with her mouth agape. “I- uh,” she stumbled for the correct words, her throat and mouth dry. “I- I felt…the baby.”

Concern washed over him immediately, something was up. “What’s wrong? What about the baby?”

“Marlena, darling, what’s going on?” Katherine asked, coming to kneel down beside her.

Everyone’s focus was now on the glowing mother-to-be. They all watched as she took a deep breath, a hand running across her belly. Grinning brightly, she bounced a bit. “The baby moved. No! He kicked, kicked harder than ever before!”

At that moment John, Katherine, and Phillip all exhaled a sigh of relief. Marlena reached for John’s hand, placing his hand on her stomach.

He held his breath in anticipation, then it happened again. “Oh my gosh!” John said, his voice a pitch higher than normal. “He’s never done it like that before!”

“I think your son is going to be a soccer player; forget about baseball.”

John’s smiled faded to a serious line. “Don’t joke about that,” he said. “My boy’s going to be a baseball player but if he wants to play soccer as well, I suppose that’s okay with me.”

They all laughed.

Katherine took a seat on the edge of the coffee table opposite of Marlena, giving her a questioning look, silently asking if it was okay for her to feel. Smiling softly, Marlena reached for the older woman’s hand and set it on her belly by John’s just as the baby kicked again.

“Whoa,” she sighed, a huge grin on her lips as she looked up from Marlena’s belly to her eyes. “That’s incredible.”

She smiled and nodded. “It’s a very surreal feeling.”

“When I was pregnant with John,” she began, taking her hands away from Marlena and sitting straight as she prepared to share the tale. “He moved around like it was nobody’s business. Some nights I woke up to him playing soccer with my bladder.” Marlena chuckled at that. “I just couldn’t seem to calm him down or make him behave. He was very stubborn, much like today.”

A defeated look appeared on John’s face. “Hey!”

One of Marlena’s delicate eyebrows rose as she hid a small laugh.

Sinking down on the couch, he stuck his tongue out before crossing his arms over his chest and pouting, the tiniest of smiles gracing his lips.

“Still the same look he gave as a kid,” Phillip mocked, crossing his legs.

“I love these little tidbits about John’s childhood. I hope our son is every little bit the same as John.”

“He’d be lucky if he got some of your genes as well,” said Phillip. “You’ve got the good looks, the brain, the compassion and decency that I’d expect this kid of yours to have.”

Marlena looked away, uncomfortable by the last few compliments because she knew they were false. She faked a smile anyway. “Thank you.”

“Phillip’s right,” Katherine assured, becoming sentimental. “I know you’ll raise a wonderful gentleman.” She leaned forward, pulling Marlena into a hug.

Marlena was shocked at first but quickly got into it, closing her eyes and smiling. “Thank you.” As soon as they broke apart the four of them continued to chat animatedly about the baby, their excitement growing by the second.

Before they knew it, it was getting late and even though it was a Friday night, they were all exhausted. As they were getting ready to bid one another good night Katherine looked through the window, noticing all the fallen snow.

“It really came down,” she commented. “Maybe you two should spend the night until the roads are plowed in the morning.”

“Nonsense,” John dismissed his mom’s concern as he helped Marlena slip on her coat. “The SUV’s good in the snow and it has really good tires.”

“Your mother’s right,” Phillip added, taking his turn to look outside. “I don’t want anything happening to my family. What if something happens to Marlena and my grandson?”

“That’s sweet,” Marlena smiled, “but I really do trust John’s driving.”

“I would feel a lot better if you spent the night here,” Katherine explained. “I would be so worried if you had to drive home in these conditions. I’ve got spare toothbrushes and all you could need, and Marlena I have some nightgowns that would fit you and the baby.”

Sharing a look, John and Marlena decided to stay at Katherine’s insistence, not wanting them to have to go all the way back so late at night during this weather. It was much more convenient and safer for them to stay at the Black residence until morning.

***

Marlena was in the bathroom brushing her teeth, while John quickly shred himself of his jeans, leaving him in his boxers. Padding down the hall and over to the bathroom, he casually walked in and pecked Marlena on the cheek before he began brushing his own teeth. The two continually smirked behind their toothbrushes as they locked eyes in the mirror, neither of them able to stray their focus off of the other.

Making a goofy face, John earned a chuckle from Marlena, her toothpaste slipping down her chin. She swiped the back of the hand on her chin before finishing up with her teeth. As soon as she put her toothbrush down, a pair of strong arms found their way around her middle, his hands resting on her belly. A feather light kiss on her cheek made her sigh, his hot breath sending tingles up her spine.

“Look at us,” he told her softly, resting his chin on her shoulder as his arms tightened their grip. He didn’t want to let go, loving the connection he had with her.

Looking up at their reflection, she smiled as she took it all in. It was in this very moment that time slowed down and nothing else seemed to matter. All that mattered was that in three short months they would be parents to a baby. Their baby.

Marlena turned in his embrace, her belly pressed up against his stomach. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her hands connecting behind his head as his rested on her hips, holding her close. With his forehead pressed against hers, he closed his eyes and let out a breath, trying to get his thoughts in order.

Pulling back, he kept his head down as he whispered, “goodnight, Marlena.” He left her standing alone in the bathroom, confused, as he walked back to the guestroom that was his.

​Marlena couldn’t sleep. Her thoughts were racing, and she couldn’t get them to stop. She kept thinking of the moment she and John shared in the bathroom earlier.

They were just friends and that was working fine for them until that night, in the bathroom, as Marlena realized things were shifting. They were getting too comfortable together, almost acting like more than friends.

Maybe it was the hormones, or maybe it was the fact that it was his child that she was carrying, but it felt like something was brewing between them. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

Suddenly there was a soft knock at the door. “Come in.” She sat up straighter in bed, leaning against the headboard in one of the guest rooms.

Katherine poked her head softly, a warm smile on her face. “I saw the light was still on and I wanted to see if everything was alright.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” she said simply.

The older woman walked in and closed the door behind her. “Is there anything I can do to help?” She walked to the chair situated in the corner beside the bed, taking a seat.  “You need all the sleep you can get now because soon you won’t remember the last time you had a good night’s sleep.”

“That’s what I’ve heard. John’s lucking out for the first few months so by the time he spends the night at John’s house he’ll be a better sleeper by then.”

“You’ll be dealing with a newborn all by yourself until it comes time that he can stay overnight with John,” she summarized. “Do you think that’s what’s best?”

Marlena shrugged lightly. “I don’t know. Maybe…”

“You do know that John will do whatever it takes to help you? He’ll be a great dad.”

“Oh yes, I know that,” Marlena reassured, “and he’ll have our son plenty during the day. It’s just until we establish a routine and with the breastfeeding and all that.”

“It will be hard on you.”

“I’m prepared for that. It would be much easier if this were happening the conventional way with John and I living together,” she admitted, “but that’s not how it is so we have to go with the flow for a little while until a shared custody agreement can be made that works for all three of us.”

Katherine pursed her lips, biting the inside of her cheek. “The term ‘custody’ sounds bad in this situation.” Although she understood what they were doing, she wished that John and Marlena could come up with an easier compromise. But she would stay out of it. It wasn’t her place.

“It’s all very amicable,” Marlena was quick to say. “We plan on raising him together and spending time together, celebrating together…it’s not going to be one of those nasty divorce situations where the parents can’t stand the other and there’s a tug of war for the kids. John and I don’t hate each other.”

Katherine gave a knowing look. “That’s evident.” It was clear as day.

Marlena blushed slightly, looking down into her lap. “Oh…”

“I’m glad you’re doing this together. You’re the perfect team to raise my grandson.”

Marlena looked up again and smiled at the woman. She forgot how much she loved talking with her. “The pleasure is all mine.”

“Are you up for some warm milk? I could use a drink as well,” Katherine offered, standing up and tying the wrap of her housecoat tighter.

“Sure.” Lifting the sheets, Marlena stood and followed the loving woman down the staircase and into the kitchen.

“Was there a time where you weren’t tempted to find out the sex of the baby?” Katherine asked as they settled into their chairs, hot mugs of milk for each.

“A few times actually, but I decided I couldn’t wait. I don’t like surprises,” Marlena replied.

“Did John not want to know the sex of the baby?” she asked, curious since he had not shared very many details with them.

“He wasn’t sure, so he left the decision up to me,” Marlena said. “I originally wasn’t going to find out because I was wondering if the answer would disappoint John.”

“Why would John be disappointed in the answer?” Katherine frowned, hoping her son hadn’t pinned his hopes on one sex.

“I just thought that he might like a son to carry on the family name,” Marlena admitted. “He never said as much, but I got the impression that he wanted a little boy. I didn’t want to disappoint him in case we found out we were having a girl, but the more I thought about it, the more it drove me crazy. I had to know.”

“I’m sure he would not have been disappointed either way,” she said of her son. “But now he gets to have a son to carry the family name and to play ball with. I know he must be overjoyed about that.”

“Oh yes,” Marlena laughed. “The nursery at his house is going to be baseball themed,” she revealed. “He called me last week while he was in Chicago, he was shopping, and he showed me some of the things he bought. This kid’s going to be spoiled, I can already tell.”

“And not just by his parents, but by his grandparents as well. Phillip and I are ecstatic, and we’ll do whatever it takes to help you both.”

Marlena smiled a bright smile. “How about you? Did you know John was going to be a boy before you had him?” she asked.

“Yes, we knew we were having a boy,” Katherine nodded, a sad look on her face. “We actually weren’t going to find out, but I had to undergo certain tests to check if everything was okay and we found out he was a boy during those.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stir up bad memories,” Marlena said, noticing that Katherine seemed sad. She was guessing her pregnancy was a tough one, hence the reason for her extra tests.

“It’s okay, it was a long time ago.” Katherine smiled reassuringly at Marlena, letting her know she hadn’t upset her. “Before I was pregnant with John, I was expecting another child, a little girl.”

“I didn’t know,” she said quietly, wondering what had happened.

“Not many people do, we don’t talk about it,” Katherine replied. “I don’t even think John knows about her.”

“What happened? I mean if you don’t mind me asking. I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“It’s fine,” she said. “Shortly after Phillip and I got married I found out I was pregnant. We were both thrilled and during one of our appointments we found out we were expecting a girl. I was so worried that he would be disappointed, but he wasn’t.”

“He was pleased you were having a girl?”

“He was thrilled at the prospect.” Katherine smiled fondly as she recalled her husband’s joy. “But our happiness didn’t last,” she added sadly. “About five months into my pregnancy I started feeling really unwell and when we went to the hospital, we discovered the baby had died.”

“Oh Katherine, I’m so sorry.” Marlena felt tears welling up in her eyes as she comforted the older woman.

“Thank you.” Katherine squeezed Marlena’s hand, before she carried on talking. “Losing her almost destroyed our marriage but Phillip and I survived and a few years later we had John. When I was pregnant with John the doctors carried out extra tests and kept a careful eye on me to make sure I didn’t lose a second baby. We nearly lost him twice and when he was born the doctors made it clear I wouldn’t be able to carry another baby.”

“I’m sorry,” Marlena said gently. “I can’t imagine what you went through.”

“Hopefully it’s something you’ll never have to experience,” Katherine replied. “But despite everything she’s still a part of my life, there’s a rose bush at the park that’s dedicated to her. We might never have gotten to hold our daughter, be we’ll always remember her.”

“Why doesn’t John know about her?” Marlena asked.

“It’s just never really come up,” she answered. “We didn’t want to tell him when he was younger and as he grew up it just never seemed appropriate to mention it.”

Marlena nodded, understanding why John’s parents had been reluctant to talk about such a hard period of their life.

“I’ll show you her bush sometime, if you want,” Katherine offered.

“I’d like that.” Marlena smiled.

Katherine smiled back at Marlena before shaking her head to dislodge her sad thoughts. Coming to her feet, she walked to the dining room where a box was resting on the table top. “I brought this down earlier to show you in the morning but now seems like a good time.” She came back to the table and placed the box between them.

“What’s that?” Marlena asked as Katherine began to lift the lid.

“It’s a box of John’s old baby stuff. I found it a few weeks ago and was going to bring it over to you, I just never got around to it,” she answered. “I’ll understand if you don’t want any of it.”

“I think that’s a lovely idea,” Marlena said, smiling at her son’s grandmother. She knew that Katherine would have kept the stuff to pass onto John since she hadn’t been able to have any more children and she wasn’t going to turn down such a sweet offer. “What’s in here?”

“I have no idea,” she shrugged. “I knew it was John’s baby stuff, so I didn’t go through it. I thought we could do that together.”

Marlena agreed it was a nice idea and the two women delved into the box. The first things they produced were a pile of old clothes. Some were for a new-born baby, while others were for a slightly older child. Just looking at the outfits Marlena could tell they were expensive, it would seem that even as a baby John had been immaculately dressed.

“Oh, it’s his baseball uniform,” Katherine cooed, pulling a jersey with navy blue writing from the pile of clothes.

Marlena laughed at the small uniform, it even had Black written on the back. “I knew he played, but he’s been playing baseball since he was this young?”

“As soon as he was old enough,” Katherine answered. “Phillip was convinced he’d love it, and as it turned out he was right. I’ve probably got a few pictures of John wearing this, I’ll have to dig them out.”

“Yes please, I’d love to see them,” Marlena said, folding the jersey and placing it on the table. As soon as their child was big enough, he would wear this jersey, it was just too cute.

Delving back into the box, Katherine pulled out a selection of stuffed toys. “These were just some of his favorites. I couldn’t keep them all.” Next, she pulled out some tiny tiny shoes. “His first shoes,” she gushed, clutching her heart.

“What’s going on in here?” John’s rough, sleep-laced voice was heard, causing both women to jump slightly.

“We didn’t know you were up,” Katherine voiced, looking on as her son tiredly made his way into the room.

“I got thirsty.” He walked to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

Katherine and Marlena both looked at each other, not saying anything. As Katherine began putting the clothes away in the box, Marlena turned to look at John who was shirtless. His chiseled chest looked so good in the dim lighting.

After downing half the bottle, John caught Marlena’s eyes quickly retreating and he stretched, walking to the kitchen table, stopping to stand beside his mother. “What’s all this?” He looked in the box, digging around to see what else was there. “As if you kept all this?”

“I’m so glad she did,” Marlena chuckled, pulling out his old jersey. “I can’t wait for our son to wear your very first baseball jersey.”

With wide eyes John took it from Marlena. “Umm, no. I’m going to frame it and put it up in the kid’s room.”

“Oh come on!” She jumped up, grabbing onto his arm. “A mini you wearing this, how can you not melt at the thought? Not to mention, it’s wasn’t worn by a famous player so why frame and hang it?” She winked.

John scoffed, pleasantly surprised. Quickly he snatched the jersey back from her and tickled her side until she was backing away from him.

Katherine looked at them, both laughing as Marlena moved to the other side of the kitchen.

“I promise, I’m done,” he said, holding his hands up in defeat.

“I’m going to head back up to bed,” his mom announced, pushing her chair back into place. “I hope you’ll behave,” she directed this to John.

They shared their ‘goodnights’ as it was just John and Marlena left in the kitchen. Marlena returned to the table where she took a drink of the now cool milk.

“What do you think of Ethan?” John asked as he sat down in the chair his mother had just vacated.

“What, the name?” John nodded, flicking the cap from the water bottle onto the table. “It’s cute,” she said.

“’It’s cute’, that’s it? Okay…how about Elliot? Or Landon?” he suggested instead.

Marlena thought about the names. Ethan Black. Elliot Black. “I don’t like Landon,” she said, “but the other two are cute. I really like Emmett.” She let it resonate with him before continuing. “I also like Jameson and Atticus.”

“Well we have two names to pick and thankfully we still have a few months to decide on what those are.” He finished his water, eyeing her intensely as she began to squirm under his gaze.

“I better go back up and try to get some sleep,” Marlena suggested, noticing that it was close to 1am.

“Yeah, sounds like a good idea. I’ll walk you up.” John gathered the two mugs and placed them in the sink, throwing his empty water bottle in the recycling as they left the kitchen and closed the light. He walked her up to her bedroom where he stopped at the door and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Goodnight.”

John had turned and taken a few of steps to his room when Marlena stepped out into the hall and randomly said, “I’m sorry.”

John stopped, turning to look at her. “For what?”

There was something she had been wanting to say for a while but could never come up with the right words – until tonight. Without hesitation Marlena said, “I was too involved and committed to my schooling and all I wanted was to be a doctor that I let our relationship suffer and I took all of my frustrations out on you.”

John didn’t say anything for a long moment. He looked at her from afar, taking in how vulnerable and sincere she looked. He forced a small smile. “I’m sorry too.” It turned silent again until John once again said “goodnight” and finished his walk to the guestroom he was occupying.

​Marlena shut the door behind her. The apartment was silent. “John?” He had texted her earlier saying that he would meet her at the penthouse.

“Upstairs.” Marlena dropped her purse and bags on the floor. She went up and down the hallway where John was waiting outside the nursery. “How was work?” he asked, planting a kiss on her cheek.

“It was good…” She tried to look behind him, but John had closed the door. “Hiding anything in there?”

“Hell no. That’s my kid’s room. Close your eyes. I have a surprise for you.” Marlena raised her eyebrows at him. “Just do it.”

“Fine but don’t let me fall,” Marlena warned before closing her eyes. John covered them with one hand and pushed the door open with the other. He walked her into the center of the room.

Removing his hand, he said, “Open them.”

Marlena opened her eyes and let them adjust to the bright light. When she noticed her surroundings, her eyes misted over. There was a crib under the window where the light came in. The beautiful carved white wood matched beautifully against the soft grey walls. She then turned to where Caroline’s old rocking chair sat in the corner. Marlena walked over to the rocker and gently grazed over the arm.

“What — Why?” She looked at the crib again in total awe. This was a complete surprise.

“I was at the store looking for a crib for my place when I found two that I really liked. I couldn’t decide between the two, so I bought both,” he shrugged like it was nothing.

“Oh John.”

“Only the best for my son,” he smiled. He then pointed to the other side of the room, by the closet where Marlena had missed something.

She gasped. “Is that a matching change table? Isn’t it too soon to be doing all of this?”

John laughed. “Says the woman who’s had the room painted and decorations up for months now. In all seriousness, I saw them, and I had to buy them.”

“Seriously, you didn’t have to do this! I was going to pick some out eventually.”

“I know. Now you don’t have to.”

She was looking at him, completely speechless at his unexpected thoughtfulness, when suddenly something inside of her switched. Her heart was pounding in her chest, she could feel the blood in her ears, and her breathing hitched as she leaned in, and her warm, soft lips brushed oh-so-lightly against his.

She let out an involuntary whimper, desperately craving more of him. She felt his triumphant smirk as he pressed his mouth a little firmer against hers. Their lips moved achingly slow together, melding to one another with a fevered intensity.

After a long minute of intense kissing, Marlena pulled back, gently pressing her forehead against his. “I’m really sorry,” she breathed, pulling away and averting her eyes.

“Not complaining.” John caught her gaze then as she couldn’t resist looking deep into his eyes. With his arms crossed and a toothy grin, John asked, “Do you like it?”

She looked around the room, the way the furniture fit perfectly with everything. “I love it. They’re beautiful.” Walking back to the corner, Marlena lowered herself into the rocking chair. “Thank you.” Her voice was thick with tears. She rested a hand over her extended stomach. “Your son thanks you too.”

“Is he moving?”

Marlena held out her hand for him. “Come here.” He walked over to where she was and squatted down. “Push right here.” Marlena put his hand on her stomach. It wasn’t long before they could feel their son move from within.

“He’s strong,” John said. “That’s my boy.”

“My ribs feel it every night. Dr. Bader wants me to go see her on Monday.”

John’s head snapped up. “Everything ok?”

“She says it is. She’s just worried about my water retention.”

“Your ankles.”

“Yes, my fat cankles. I’m sure everything’s fine.”

“I have a meeting with someone from Chicago on Monday. What time is your appointment?”

Someone from Chicago? Marlena’s eyebrow raised, having to push aside the thoughts that it might be with that Kristen girl she had seen him emailing. “Go to your meeting,” she said. “I will be fine. It’s just a check-up. I’ll call you when I’m done.”

“Call if you need anything,” he demanded.

“Absolutely…Thank you for this.” She looked around again. “It’s wonderful.”

“You’re welcome.” Extending a hand, John helped her to stand up.

“I suppose I owe you for this?”

“I’m pretty sure that kiss covered it all.”

She slapped his chest playfully. “Seriously.”

“No, I will not accept your money. This is my child and I bought it for him.”

“Okay, if not money then how about food? It’s supper time.”

“Uhhh,” he laughed nervously. “Or we could go out or even order in,” he suggested, hoping she’d go with one of those instead.

“I’ll cook you one of your favorites,” she decided.

“I’ll help you,” he offered, remembering the cookie incident from not too long ago. Going after her down the stairs, John teased her on her less than stellar abilities. “I think we’ll have to enroll you in a cooking class when our boy starts eating solids.”

Stopping in her steps, she gasped, trying to hold back a grin. “John!”

***

“So I have a favor to ask of you,” he said out of the blue as he flipped the chicken breasts.

Looking up from the cut-up lettuce, she looked at him. “Oh? What kind of favor?”

“As you know Basic Black recently came out with a children’s line.”

“Yes, I remember. I even got the very first product.” She smiled thinking of the little onesie she received.

“Yeah, well I’ve decided to partner with Dr. Horton and University Hospital, more specifically their Pediatrics unit.” Reaching into the cupboard, he picked out certain spices to add to the chicken. “Baby Black’s entire first year’s profits will be donated in part to the hospital to help with care, equipment, staffing, toys and activities, and whatever else is needed,” he explained. “We may continue to do this after the year is over, but we’ll reevaluate when the time comes.” He was still eyeing the chicken on the stove, not noticing that Marlena was crying until she let out a chocked-up sound. “Oh don’t you start to cry on me.”

“I’m sorry.” She pointed to her stomach, putting the cutting knife down beside the cut-up cucumbers.

“We’re organizing a benefit to announce the partnership and to raise extra money for the kids,” he said. Lowering the heat on the stove, he turned to look at her. “It would look good if I had you on my arm,” he said softly. “We’re going to show people that now that I’m going to be a dad, I take this very seriously and this cause is very near and dear to my heart.”

Her lip quivering, she tucked her hair behind her ears. “I had no idea you wanted to do this.”

“It’s not something I had been thinking about. It sort of just popped up in my mind during a conversation with Kristen and it all made sense.”

It caught her attention. “Kristen?”

“The woman I hired to oversee things in Chicago,” he said nonchalantly as he turned back to the stove, inspecting the steamed vegetables.

Marlena went back to her salad, throwing everything in a big bowl. “I just didn’t realize she was part of this.”

“Well she’s not, not entirely. We were discussing the profits the line has already brought in and she mentioned seeing a woman and her daughter looking through the stock. The little girl apparently has to carry oxygen with her. There wasn’t much more to the story, but my heart felt for the little girl and her family.” Satisfied with the food, he turned off the elements and pulled out two plates. “That’s how I came up with the idea. I thought of our baby and if we were in a similar predicament, and then I thought why not do something for these young, defenseless little kids when I’m in a position to help?”

She started to cry. “I love your selflessness and your generosity, and I hope that our son turns out to be the same way.”

Placing the plates down on the table, he smiled. “You’re both of those things and more. Baby boy will be the same.”

“So when’s the benefit?” Marlena placed salad on both of their plates.

“It’s next week. Friday evening.”

She nodded, taking a drink of her water. “I’ll have to get back to you on that.”

“Does that mean you’re thinking about it?”

“I would love a final night out before the baby comes,” she admitted with a grin. “And I’ll take any excuse to get all glammed up.”

***

John dropped down beside her on the couch, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “Good to know things haven’t changed,” he said, his eyes still closed. “I do all the cooking and the cleaning afterwards.”

Extending her arm to the side, she slapped him in the gut. “You told me to leave it all to you!”

He laughed softly, turning his head to look at her. It was then that he noticed the sprawled open book in her lap. “Baby names, huh?” She bit her lip, nodding. Scooting closer, John picked up the book and flipped through it. “Any catch your eye?” She nodded again, not saying a word. He smiled, waiting for her to say something but she didn’t. “You going to tell me what they are?”

She kept smiling as she took the book back from him. “I’ve narrowed it down to four names,” she finally told him, going to the pages she had previously marked by folding down the top corners of the page. “Apart from the ones I already mentioned, I was thinking Noah or Spencer. And, if it’s okay with you, we could have his middle name be Elliot. I know you liked that one.”

John tested the names out, “Noah Elliot Black…Spencer Elliot Black.” He pursed his lips, smiling at Marlena. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Pick out the most perfect names in the entire world.”

She shrugged her shoulders with a small smile. “Must be mother’s intuition.”

That brought out a smile and a laugh from John. “You said you had four names,” he said, nodding toward the book.

She flipped to another page that she had marked. “You’re not feeling Emmett or Jameson?”

“They’re okay, I just thought when you said you had four that they were new names.”

Closing the book, she shook her head solemnly.

“May I make a suggestion?”

“Hmm?”

He smiled, turning his head to kiss her palm. He waited a few moments, wanting to build up the curiosity that was coursing through her veins. “Noah Elliot Evans-Black…Spencer Elliot Evans-Black.”

“Yo- you want to use my name?”

“If you get to use my name, then I get to use yours,” he answered simply.

“It appears I’m not the only one with a gift,” she eventually smirked.

John shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “Must be father’s intuition.”

She chuckled, leaning closer to him, wrapping her arms around his midsection and holding him close. He set his right arm over her shoulders, his fingers making patterns along her upper arm. They remained like that for some time, enjoying the silence.

“Marlena?”

“Yeah?” She looked up at him, eyes twinkling.

“I’m glad our boy gets to have you as his mother,” he said sincerely.

Looking up at him, her throat tightened. Nestling her face in the crook of his shoulder, her hot breath tickled his neck, causing goose bumps to ghost over his skin. “I’m just happy that we’re doing this together. I couldn’t imagine having this baby on my own.”

“You don’t need to everworry about that because I’m with you one-hundred and ten percent. I’m not going anywhere.”

She tugged him closer. “Our son is going to be so lucky to have you as his father, John.”

He kissed the crown of her head. “What do you think he will look like?” John asked after a small silence. “I’m wondering how you picture our son.”

Marlena didn’t waver, she dove right in. She had been picturing a boy ever since she found out she was pregnant, the image never leaving her. “He’ll be an exact replica of you. All Black. Ocean blue eyes, personality, the whole package.”

John smiled, listening intently as she continued.

“He’ll be the sweetest boy in the entire world, he’ll be protective like you. He’ll have your kind heart,” she said this as she set her hand on his chest, the thumping of his heart beat in time with her own. “And he will have your witty sense of humor.” She glanced up at him, his eyes sparkling with adoration.

“Will he have anything of yours?” he chuckled.

“Yes. He’ll be like me in some ways. Confident, stubborn, challenging, hopefully he’ll have my smile.”

He pulled his head back. “What’s wrong with my smile?” he mocked.

She chuckled and continued. “He will also be really smart, quick on his feet. And he’ll do whatever it takes to protect his loved ones.”

John sighed. “He sounds perfect.”

“He certainly does.” A small yawn soon escaped Marlena’s lips. Someone was getting tired.

“Alright, bed time,” John instructed as he stood up and pulled her up by the hands.

“But I’m not –” another yawn left her mouth “—tired.”

“Yes, you are. Go to sleep, Mar,” he mumbled lightly.

“Okay,” she complied, too tired to argue. She followed him to the door as he began to slip on his coat.

“Goodnight.”

“Good night, John.” A small kick in Marlena’s stomach grabbed her attention. She rubbed her stomach, John’s hand lying on top of hers. “He says good night as well,” she smiled down to her stomach.

“I’ll see you. Sleep tight.” He pressed a kiss to her head before leaving her apartment.

The following Monday, Marlena met Laura at the hospital before her appointment. After grabbing a quick bite to eat in the cafeteria, together they walked to Dr. Bader’s office. “I don’t know. It’s weird. We fell into this roll play?” she explained of her situation with John recently, pressing on the up button for the elevator.

Laura frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“We’re spending a lot more time together, basically every day after work until the end of the night. We even kissed the other day.” Marlena fell quiet as the elevator doors opened to let a handful of people off. It wasn’t until they got on the empty elevator and that the doors closed that she continued. “We’ve become physically closer than we have in years and I’m not talking sexually.”

“That’s good isn’t it? It means things are looking up for you two.”

“I’m not so sure. It feels more like we fell into basically playing house, but it won’t last.” As the doors opened once again, the two doctors stepped off and walked down the hall. “It’s just a matter of time before it ends. Before he realizes what’s happening and pulls away.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Laura, when he first found out I was pregnant he said he didn’t want anything to do with me,” Marlena remembered sadly. She remembered how those words cut through her.

Laura shook her head softly, knowing that they were both blind and ignoring the facts. It wouldn’t be long until they finally opened their minds and their hearts, finally accepting what they couldn’t control. “Well that’s nonsense and you know it.”

“He seemed serious. I think we just got caught up in the feelings that having a child together brings.” Of course emotions were high for the both of them, Marlena thought. Things would eventually settle down for John and he’d come to his senses.

Laura rolled her eyes at her friend as they came upon the office. “I don’t believe that. There’s something in the way he looks at you.”

Holding the door open, Marlena looked at Laura and said, “We’re just ex-lovers turned friends who are having a baby together.”

“Say it often enough and maybe you’ll start to believe it,” Laura told her as she walked past her and into the small waiting area.

Marlena gave her an exasperated look. “John’s out with another woman right now anyways,” she said, trying to sound indifferent as she found an empty seat, placing her coat on the back of the chair.

Laura was quick to sit down beside her, eyes big. “He’s what?”

“It wasn’t enough that he spent the entire weekend in Chicago for work, now he’s having lunch with the same woman that he saw in Chicago. Apparently for work,” she rolled her eyes before she stood up again and checked in with the receptionist.

“Oh, so it’s a business lunch,” Laura said once Marlena came back.

“That’s what he says but he’s been mentioning this Kristen a lot lately.”

“Are you jealous?” Laura raised an eyebrow.

“N…not entirely.” She looked ahead at the woman sitting across from her, a newborn baby sleeping in the car seat at her feet. “I would just like to know who he occupies his time with, especially if he’s going to be bringing her around my son once he’s born.”

Laura put her hand over Marlena’s in her lap, needing her to believe what she was about to say. “That’s not going to happen, and you know it. That man is into you, even if you or he don’t realize it fully yet,” she said sternly. “You can’t fall into this routine of playing house if there aren’t any feelings. You can’t fake that. Trust me, if he didn’t want to be there with you, he wouldn’t be.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Marlena replied sarcastically, although thankful for her friend for trying to cheer her up.

“He’s got a home,” Laura continued, “he has a business, he has a life. If he didn’t want to be with you, he’d be off doing his own thing, but he isn’t.” There was a moment of silence before she spoke up again. “You both drive me crazy with how stubborn and blind you are. I may as well lock you both into a room until you both face the facts.”

Marlena sighed heavily. “Laura.”

“Dr. Evans, Dr. Bader will see you now,” a young nurse wearing teal colored scrubs announced from the doorway.

“That’s my cue to leave,” Laura said as they stood up. “My break is almost over anyways. Call me later?”

Marlena smiled brightly and nodded. As Laura left the waiting area, Marlena walked to the exam room where Dr. Bader was already sitting on a stool with her chart in her hand.

“How’s the mommy to be feeling today?” the doctor greeted with a welcoming smile.

Marlena laughed. “Like a mommy to be should feel.” Tired. Huge. Heavy. Achy. Easily irritated.

“I’m afraid to inform you that it only gets worse.” Things became quiet as the doctor hooked up the blood pressure cuff to Marlena’s upper arm and began to listen. Once deflated, she removed the cuff and placed her stethoscope back into the pocket of her lab coat. She proceeded to write down in a flow sheet the results she obtained.

“So what’s the verdict?” Marlena asked.

“As I mentioned to you last time we spoke, I was a little worried about your water retention. Since then, I received your lab results from the other day.” She took a moment to double check said results. “The blood tests and urinalysis didn’t come up with anything. Your blood pressure is however on the higher end of the norm,” she admitted, sharing the results she obtained a few moments before. “How are you feeling?”

Marlena bit the inside of her lip, thinking. “Aside from feeling pregnant? I’m feeling fine.”

“Any stress at home or at work? When do you plan on starting your maternity leave?”

“I plan on working until I can’t anymore. I don’t want to sit at home and do nothing, it would drive me nuts.”

Dr. Bader laughed, knowing the feeling. “As much as you may not like it, you might want to start considering it soon. In the meantime, I recommend consuming less salt and I want you to elevate your legs a few times a day. Try a footstool under your desk at work and when you’re at home, prop up your legs with some pillows. Get up and walk around, gentle exercise helps the circulation which will in turn reduce the swelling. Drink lots of water and don’t overdo it.”

Marlena nodded. “Got it. I’ll be thankful when the little one is finally out of me. I used to love the changes in my body but now it’s the total opposite.” Her hand went to rest on the bulge.

“It’s the way it goes,” Karen shrugged. “All worth it in the end.”

Marlena smiled widely. “That I believe,” she said just as her cellphone began to ring. She held up a finger and excused herself quickly, going to stand in the corner and lowering her gaze to the ground.

“What did the doctor say?” It was John.

“I’m still with her actually,” she revealed.

“I see. I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was good.”

Marlena cleared her throat, looking at her watch. “Things are fine. Are you still at your meeting?”

“Yeah, we’re getting ready to wrap up soon.”

From the background Marlena was able to hear a woman calling out to him. “Sounds like your date wants you back,” she said with an unimpressed tone.

“I did mention to you that it was a meeting,” he reminded her, not wanting her to believe otherwise and get upset. “Do you mind if I drop by after you’re done work?”

“I’m feeling pretty tired,” she lied. “I think I may head straight home and get some rest.” She quickly ended the phone call and returned her attention to Dr. Bader, apologizing once again.

“Sorry that I overheard,” Karen said, pushing her hair behind her ear, “but you mentioned being tired. Rest up all you can now because you won’t be sleeping much once he’s here,” she advised.

“Is it weird that I’m looking forward to that?” Marlena smiled widely. She was looking forward to every aspect of motherhood. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Dr. Bader shot a smile in her direction. “So, will I be seeing you this Friday?” Looking confused, Marlena blinked. “At the fundraiser,” Karen reminded.

“Oh yes, of course. Pregnancy brain,” she shrugged.

“You know…” Dr. Bader took a step closer to Marlena. “I’ve heard rumblings around the hospital…You know I wouldn’t partake in that sort of thing, but I’m just wondering if you’re ready.”

“Ready?”

“The place will be full of hospital staff, of the same people who are talking, of Rebecca’s friends.” She furrowed her brows knowingly. “This will be your first big public appearance together since the pregnancy. You know that’s just going to add fuel to the fire.”

This meaningless drama wasn’t going to bring her down. “This night isn’t about John and I nor the circumstances that brought us this baby. It’s about the children and Basic Black’s enormous generosity.”

“Doesn’t stop people from talking and judging,” she reminded.

“Let them,” Marlena said defiantly. “The people who matter to us know the truth, that’s the main thing. Others can talk all they want, it won’t make it true and it won’t affect me. It’s like that saying, ‘Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter’.”

Karen stood there, arms crossed, as she looked at Marlena awe. “How do you do it? Stay positive and unbothered.”

“I was the other woman…I have to have a thick skin,” she explained. “Besides, I’m not about to waste my energy on that. Pregnancy is tiring enough without having to worry about the false information being spread about me.”

***

There was a knock at the door that evening, just as Marlena was making her way back into the living room. She looked at the time, wondering who could be at her door at this time. Creeping up to the door, she looked through the peep hole and rolled her eyes when she saw him.

“Hi John,” she said in an even tone as she opened the door for him. She was in her sweats, hair up on the top her head in a messy bun, the day’s makeup all washed off.

“I hope I’m not interrupting?”

“No. I was enjoying the time alone.” She was slightly annoyed that he ignored her request not to come over tonight.

“I was just on my way home from supper and thought I’d stop by. Kristen and I were at Chez Rouge and I couldn’t stop thinking that I should have been there at your appointment with you.” He slipped his coat off and placed it on the back of the desk chair.

She cocked her head to the side. “You had dinner with her as well as lunch?”

“Work sort of carried over and I figured we had to eat, so yeah.”

“From lunch until now,” she looked at her watch, noticing it was a quarter past eight. “Those are some long hours.”

John was obviously oblivious to her irritation and sarcasm, as he smiled and nodded as he undid the buttons on his cuffs as rolled the sleeves up. “It didn’t seem like that long. I tell you, sometimes those meetings can drag on, but it wasn’t like that this time.”

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” she said under her breath, walking away from him.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” she shot over her shoulder, sitting down on the couch with her hands holding her stomach.

John joined her, happily changing the subject. “So how my little man doing?”

“He’s sleeping. It’s been pretty quiet in there for a little bit.”

“What did the doctor say?”

She shrugged, looking down at the bulge acting as a home to her baby. “Nothing to worry about. She just gave me a few pointers on ways that could help reduce the swelling in my feet.”

Stretching out next to her, he placed one of his hands on her belly. “Sorry I couldn’t be there.”

“Oh no, you had to spend the day with Kristen,” she said. “I understand.”

He paused for a moment, reality finally starting to dawn on him. “Are you jealous?” He raised his brow.

“Jealous? No.”

“Because there’s nothing there.” The raised brow turned into furrowed brows. “It’s strictly business.”

“Whatever you say. I just don’t know any other coworkers who spend that much time together.” Marlena moved a couple inches away from him, causing his hand to slip away. “Either you’re in Chicago, and god only knows what happens there, or she’s here in Salem and you spend hours on end together. You were just in Chicago this weekend. Couldn’t you have settled it all then, instead of her coming to Salem for this ‘meeting’?”

“Hours on end of working,” he stressed, leaning his elbows on his knees. “I’m sorry that owning a company is pretty time consuming but considering the circumstances I don’t think I spend all my time at work. I try not to leave town for more than a couple days at a time, I call or see you almost every day,” he explained. “Hell, I even had time to paint your nursery and set up the furniture, not to mention the nursery at my house. I’m at almost every doctor’s appointment, I sometimes cook for you, I even clean up afterwards leaving you with nothing to worry about. Don’t tell me I’m always with Kristen. I spend a lot more time with you than I wanted….” John trailed off, looking down and running his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “That didn’t come out right. What I meant…what I meant was…”

“No. Don’t. I got it,” she said evenly. “You didn’t want anything to do with me, I remember. It was my fault for thinking that maybe we were friends again.” Frustrated, she pushed herself to her feet, walking away from him to the balcony doors.

“I can’t do this,” he raised his voice. “I hate fighting with you. We’ve been doing great lately, getting along better than we have in a long time…I’m going to go home before one of us says something we’ll regret.” John stood up then, slowly walking to her. “I’ll leave you with this,” he said behind her back, “we are friends. What I meant to say is that our predicament changed everything. I didn’t think you and I would be reconciliating which is why these turns of events are surprising and I still haven’t been able to properly process it all.”

Marlena stood still, silent, her eyes cast downwards. “I’m probably not the best person to talk to about this, I’m too close. I think I would just make things worse.”

“That wasn’t an invite,” he whispered with a smirk. “If I need someone to talk to, I’ll find someone.”

She nodded sadly. “I’ll see you later then,” she said, walking away once again and returning to the seat she vacated not too long before. “I think I’m going to curl up on the couch with some popcorn and watch a movie or something on Netflix before I go to sleep.”

“That sounds nice. Enjoy.”

Tentatively, she asked, “Did you want to stay and watch the movie with me?”

John raised an eyebrow. “You sure?”

“As long as we don’t fight, I don’t mind,” she admitted apprehensively.

John agreed, on the condition that she went to bed right after the movie was over. “You have to rest up.”

“Are you telling me I look like crap?”

“N..no!”

Marlena cracked a smirk. “I’ll go make some popcorn.”

The bowl of popcorn was halfway gone as Marlena stretched out to place it on the table, the movie The Upsideplaying on the television. She let out a small breath as she sat back down, moving uncomfortably as she tried to get into a good position.

Looking to his side, John reached out a hand to her arm. “Are you alright?” He was full of concern.

“I’m fine John, I’m just…uncomfortable.” She finally managed to sit still, finding a good spot. “My back hurts all the time and I can’t stay in one position long enough.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, letting his hand fall to the cushion.

“For what?”

“It’s my baby causing you that ache.”

Marlena’s eyebrow twitched, a smirk spreading across her lips. “Oh well, when you put it that way, yes. Maybe I should pay you back for that.”

He laughed. “What are you going to do?”

“I haven’t decided yet but if I count this on top of the labor pain that you’d also be responsible for…”

He rolled his eyes, chuckling. “Oh come on.”

“I’ll think of something,” she teased, winking.

“How about I just give you a massage instead? Try to lessen the ache.”

“You could try but I’m still paying you back.”

“Oh hush. Just turn around.”

She grinned and turned, facing the hallway leading to the den and kitchen, John behind her on the couch and he started his magic. Instantly, Marlena felt all her tension melting away under John’s skillful fingers as he kneaded and rubbed her lower back, applying just the right amount of pressure to relieve the constant ache.

Soon, he moved his fingers and continued the massage up and down her back and even her lower neck as he moved the silky strands of stray hair out of the way. He felt her relaxing under his ministrations and smiled broadly from ear to ear as she let out a sigh of pleasure. “Does that feel good?”

His breath was hot on her neck, causing her voice to hitch in her throat. “Yes.”

John slowly lowered his hands back down Marlena’s back and slid them under her t-shirt, still massaging her.

A soft moan escaped past her lips when his fingers made contact with her skin, but she forced herself to relax and focus on the massage. She closed her eyes, goosebumps setting in on her skin as his fingers skimmed up her sides, fingertips brushing against her breasts until they reached her shoulders where his fingers began deeply kneading the tight muscles.

His breath was hot on her neck as he whispered to her. “Does that feel good?”

Marlena turned her head to the side, looking over her shoulder at him and nodding.

Letting go of her shoulders, he used his thumbs as he massaged his back down her back, focusing on the sides of her back, all the way down until he reached the small of her back. Once there, he placed his thumbs side by side and began moving them in circular motion at the lumbar region.

Marlena moaned, letting her head fall forward, exposing the back of her neck. Never stopping his thumbs, John added more pressure just as his lips skimmed lightly across the back of her neck and to the side, sliding up to her ear, Marlena’s head slowly coming up again and once again turning her face to the side, looking at him.

“You like that?” he breathed hotly against her neck, sending shivers down her spine.

Marlena nodded, keeping her head turned to the side, her breathing getting heavier the longer his fingers touched her bare skin and the longer he kept breathing against her neck. Soon his nose touched onto her cheek, skimming closer to her lips. “John,” she said, breath hitching in her throat.

One hand left her lower back, John grabbing hold of her chin with one finger and bringing her lips closer to his awaiting mouth as he leaned over and captured her lips in his.

Ever since he laid his eyes on her, which was on the pier when she was new to Salem, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. She was the reason why he’d had countless sleepless nights – she kept roaming through his thoughts – and why he couldn’t keep his concentration at work.

He tried to keep his cool for about three days after he officially met her, thanks to Lexie, before he lost complete control and began asking for her attention, until she finally noticed him and felt the exact same way for him like he felt for her. Because she was so breath-taking, John felt the need to do everything in a hurry, but he didn’t – he took it very slow with her.

They were best friends for about a year before they got together. They spend three and a half years together before they parted ways. But that didn’t last very long. A year later they found their way back in each other’s beds and a year after that Marlena tearfully admitted that they were expecting a baby. Now, in just a few short months they’d be welcoming that baby into the world. Neither of them thought, seven years ago, that they would be where they are now.

They shared a kiss, and another one, and another one, lips meeting gently. There were these sparks going through their bodies every time they did so, something that felt so good, so pleasurable.

Craving more of that feeling, John cupped her face before he turned her body completely to his and pressed himself against her, the bump against his stomach as they made out. He unleashed his tongue on her and slipped it into her mouth, meeting hers.

“I’ve missed you,” he sighed against her lips and continued to make out with her, fingers trailing over the sweet, silky skin of her back, underneath her t-shirt.

“I’ve missed you,” she echoed back, causing John’s heart to beat louder and ecstasy to kick in.

With their lips still connected together for a long, passionate kiss, John started to stand up, pulling her with him. He led her to the door, turning the lock and switched the lights off, before taking her to the staircase, never breaking the kiss as he scooped her up in his arms. His eyes fell heavy, tempted to fall closed while kissing her, but he had to look where he was going.

Letting go of her luscious lips, his eyes travelled upstairs, seeing her bedroom door, and he could feel the pleasure kicking in, steaming down to his growing crotch. With a final kiss, John carefully made his way up the stairs, closing the lights as he carried her to her bedroom.

With her arms still around his neck, Marlena pulled his lips back to hers just as John gently brought her down to her feet. “Will you keep me busy tonight?” she whispered jokingly, smiling against his lips.

“Yeah, you can count on that.” He grinned as his fingers curled around the hem of her shirt, pulling to get it off. Giving him full access, her arms lifted and allowed him to discard it from her pregnant body, leaving her in just a bra and her baby bump sticking out. “God, you’re so beautiful,” John moaned when he eyes her, feeling himself stiffening even more, eager to get reacquainted with her body.

A little shy, Marlena blushed, reaching for his shirt and gently pulled it from his body, leaving his chest naked and venerable to her. Her hands brushed over his warm skin, fingers trailing over his chest as their lips connected again, kissing passionately.

John’s hands slid into her hair, pulling the elastic off and throwing it aside, letting her lovely, soft hair fall everywhere as they slowly walked to the bed in the middle of the room where he helped to lie her down. Normally he would have playfully thrown her on top of the mattress, but now that she was carrying his baby he didn’t dare to.

Once she was comfortable and her eyes were longingly looking at him, John grinned and crawled between her legs, catching her lips and resumed their kiss. Their tongues met again, and Marlena moaned, making John even more eager to be inside of her.

“Arch your back for me,” he whispered against her soft, swollen lips as he slid his hands around her to reach for the clasp on her back. When it finally gave in to his tugging, it sprung loose so he could remove her bra, freeing her breasts. If there was something John liked about Marlena’s naked body, it was her soft, squeezable breasts.

With his eyes locked on hers in a long, deep and longing stare, he kissed down to her chest and took a nipple between his lips, sucking it into his mouth. Marlena let out a breathless moan and slid one of her hands into his hair as she writhed, curling into him, trying to get more and more of him on her body.

John’s pants tightened even more at the sight of her and the sounds of her gasps, longing to hear more of those angelic moans and groans rolling from her lips. He grinned and kissed down to her stomach, following the height of her bump with each peck, nose brushing over the little downy hairs that covered her whole body. Thinking of their little boy inside of her, he peppered kisses near her navel before he proceeded down to her pelvic area, tongue eager to please her, to make her cum so hard.

“Please, John,” she whined when he nipped with his lips on the edge of her pants. All she wanted was for him to rid her of the pants and to put her out of her misery. She wanted him. Now.

“Patience.” It had been months since they’d last slept together and John could tell that the drought, coupled with the extra pregnancy hormones, had made her very, very horny. Not that he mind, he was feeling pretty deprived himself. Being able to control himself around her was always very hard, especially now that she had extra curves and was fuller in some areas. Pregnancy became her.

Feeling impatient himself, John’s fingers slowly hooked around the pants she wore and pulled them down inch by inch until they were left to pool around her ankles. Before he even got the chance, she kicked the pants off her feet, leaving them to fall to the ground without care. A grin grew on his face as he kissed her panties, which covered up a part of her body that he liked even more than her beautiful, plump breasts.

Marlena breathed a little heavier and felt heat spread through her when she felt him pressing kisses on her pelvic area, slowly moving between her thighs, kissing her clothed womanhood, taking in her sweet scent.

“I want you,” John growled and released his tongue on her, licking her panties to try and get a taste of her already. The more he groaned and pleased her over her panties, the more she moaned out his name and made him want to take her right then and there.

When his fingers brushed over her damp underwear, Marlena could feel herself becoming even more wet, if possible. Her darkened eyes fell on his and she bit her bottom lip, knowing that she drove him insane when she did that to him.

Trying to supress a smirk, John kissed her thighs, away from the place she wanted him to be the most. He could tease her just as much as she could tease him.

“Please,” she breathed, displeased, as she wriggled underneath his body, doing her best to make his mouth return to her clothes pussy.

Deciding not to give into her just yet, John gently scraped his teeth over her inner thighs, causing goose bumps to cover the surface of her beautiful body. He paused to blow air onto her damp pussy, grinning at the sharp intake of air she took. Breathing, John resumed his sweet torture on her thighs, kissing, licking and scraping his teeth over her skin. God, he longed to be buried deep inside of her, surrounded by her wet walls, feeling them pulse and twitch around him when she was close to cumming.

Unable to take it any longer, Marlena groaned, tugging on his dark hair as she bucked her hips up towards him. John moaned and kissed closer and closer to her panties, close to giving in and giving her what they both needed desperately. To give her a little pleasure, he brushed his nose over her sensitive clit, trying to give her at least some kind of touch.

A soft moan rolled over her lips. “Fuck me,” she breathed, writhing underneath him. “Your tongue. Your cock. John, please just –” Marlena cried out as he pushed her soaked panties aside, finally letting his tongue come into contact with her swollen and soaked lips.

With a single lap of the tongue, from bottom to top, he stopped, pressing his tongue deep into her clit before pulling away. Grinning, John hooked his fingers around her underwear and pulled them down to drop to the floor. “Spread your legs for me, lady.” Moving himself between her legs, Joh went to work almost immediately, unleashing his wild tongue on her.

“Oh!” she moaned, grabbing onto his head even tighter, closing her hand in on his hair, moaning to the feel of John’s tongue lapping her juices up. “Oh, God! John, fuck!” she cried out in pleasure when he slipped his tongue inside of her and thrusted, trying to get as deep inside of her.

The more she wriggled and moaned his name, the harder he grew into his pants. His cock continued to twitch as he pulled his tongue from her entrance and aimed for her clit.

Marlena’s eyes rolled back as John twirled the tip of his tongue around her swollen clit before flicking over it. The more his tongue caressed the little nub and blew hot air to leave tingles all over her, the more she moaned out and began to buck her hips into his face more. She couldn’t stop herself from being so vocal, the pleasure the licking and sucking brought to her felt too good.

“So fucking good,” she gasped as he took her clit between his teeth, gently applying pressure before going back to eating her out. He reached for his slacks, opening the button and fly so he could both his pants and boxers to his knees, finally freeing his cock. It pulsed in freedom.

“I’m about to make you feel even better,” he growled and crawled back on top of her, giving her no chance as he pushed himself deep inside of her, filling her to the brim. Her mouth fell open at the sudden fullness and she gasped, which was John’s favourite gasp. The gasp of surprise, the gasp of being filled up completely, the gasp of pleasure.

John groaned, stilling inside of her, enjoying her stretching walls around him as they adjusted. His eyes fell on hers and he pressed a kiss on her lips while kicking off his pants, leaving him just as naked as she was underneath him. It wasn’t until Marlena placed her hands on his shoulders, holding a gentle grip, did he start rocking himself in and out of her, rubbing over her wet walls.

Moaning, he leaned down and captured her lips with his own, holding onto her as he bucked his hips, driving deep inside of her. “Shit, you feel so good,” he hissed against her lips and sped up his movements, take her in missionary position first to see if that felt good in her condition.

Their skin began to slap together the more John quickened his pace on her, sliding in and out of her harder and fasted. “Oh!” she cried, wrapping her arms around his back tighter and arching into him as much as her stomach would allow with every thrust that he gave.

The bed squeaked a little with their thrusts, sheets creasing around their bodies. They made out passionately, tongues touching, exchanging tastes. Marlena could taste her own juice on him, causing her to groan as John lowered on of his hands to grab one of her breasts, tugging gently on her nipple.

Marlena moaned, tightening her grip on his body as he kept driving his cock deep inside of her pussy over and over again, their sweaty skin meeting as they moved on the bed, ruining the sheets completely. John let go of her lips and groaned, pushing his whole length inside of her, pressing against her walls. Marlena’s mouth fell open and her head tipped back, eyes rolling to the back of her head in pleasure. A gasp for air rolled from her lips, trying her best to breathe.

“Do you like that?” John grinned as he pulled back before slamming back inside of her, sliding his cock all the way inside of her.

Her back arched, the grip of her hands on his shoulder and neck tightened, tips digging into his skin. “So much,” she breathed.

John repeatedly kept shoving his cock all the way inside of her and lowered by bending a little so he could take one of her nipples into his mouth, sucking eagerly, pleasing her. After paying the same amount of attention to the other nipple, he licked his way up, sliding to her neck, caressing the skin with his wild tongue before going on the hunt for her sweet spot. He kissed the sweaty skin until he reached the spot she liked and bit gently, causing her to gasp harshly. In response, John groaned and bit on her earlobe, brushing his teeth over the sensitive piece of flesh before nibbling, enjoying her body to the fullest as their pelvises slammed together.

They rolled over the bed, changing positions fast. Marlena was on top in no time and leaned back, hands on John’s knees as she straddled him. Her legs were spread, giving him a great view of how his cock slid effortlessly into her pregnant pussy, juices glistening off him every time she slid back, releasing him.

John groaned at the sight of her riding him, her baby bump on full display, cheeks flushed from the heat of their sexual activities and the arousal that rushed through her body like raging hormones. She rode him slow at first until they both got used to the new position, hips flexing for more pleasure.

“I love this so much,” she cried out in pleasure, throwing her head back and gasped for air, tugging on her nipples to send extra waves of warm, arousing tingles to her heated center. Her riding continued deliciously, leaving the both of them moaning and panting for dear life as their bodies moved to get his dick moving even deeper into her sopping wet pussy.

John sat up and pulled her into his chest. “This is my favourite place; being buried deep inside of you.” Not being able to resist their closeness as he bucked his hips into hers, John kissed her. He groaned, feeling so horny that he could blow his load inside her at any time.

He unwrapped one of his arms from around her waist, lowering his hand in between her legs, searching for her needy clit.  The moment his thumb came into contact with the desired area he could feel it, her walls twitching around him, pulsing lightly around his shaft, trying to suck the cum out.

“John,” Marlena cried out, sliding her hands into his hair to hold onto him as she bucked her hips into his, trying to fuck him even faster, indirectly rubbing back against his thumb.

The sight of her doing that turned him on so much that he could feel a faint tightening sensation erupting deep inside. “I’m gonna cum,” she grunted, feeling it surfacing quickly. His body began to surrender to hers, cock pulsing and twitching in anticipation of finishing deep inside of her again, just like he did when they made their son.

Sucking on her breast, John watched as her head fell back before she let out a loud cry of his name in nothing but complete ecstasy, her pussy clenching so much around him that it almost seemed like it was about to squeeze his cock in two.

“Oh, fuck!” Screaming, she released on his shaft, shaking and vibrating in his lap as she did so, completely coming undone.

Holding her close to his chest, John bucked into her still contracting pussy and groaned, feeling himself getting extremely close. With a few final thrusts and the sucking of her walls around him, John cried out and lost complete control over his body, cock twitching and pulsing as thick, white cum spurted from the tip, shooting semen deep inside of her, right to her occupied uterus.

Groaning through his release, he tried to moan her name in pleasure, but he couldn’t even breathe anymore from the sudden pleasure that hit him. His hands clawed at her back and he fell backwards, automatically taking her with him. Carefully, as he collapsed on his back and shook from his orgasm, Marlena broke her fall and carefully cuddled into his chest, him still inside of her.

Rolling onto his side, chest to chest with Marlena, John smiled and brushed some hair out of her face, peppering kisses all over her cheeks and nose. A cute giggle escaped her lips and she smiled before pressing their lips together for a kiss, enjoying the after-sex bliss.

“That was…” she paused to breathe.

“Amazing,” John finished for her.

“It was. It tired me out, though,” she murmured and pulled the sheets, which were all messily wrapped around their limbs, right over their bodies to keep them warm.

For a moment John thought about pulling out of her and going home, but he was comfortable like this, their bodies connected, and their legs tangled underneath the sheets. It can wait, he thought. “Well, it will sure help you sleep, then,” he grinned and snuggled into her, trying to be close to her and their unborn baby.

“Yeah, but not right now,” she sighed and pressed a kiss into his neck.

“Yeah right…Goodnight.” Rubbing her back a little, his lips left a kiss on her hair. He held her until she fell asleep against him for the first time in years, enjoying the closeness more than he remembered. Closing his eyes, he held her tighter, knowing he’d have to let her go and slip out when she fell into a deeper sleep.

Marlena awoke the next morning, sunrays peeking through the shades and beaming on her skin, a beautiful smile plastered on her face. Stretching out, she moaned, feeling more rested than she had in a very long time. Looking to her left, she expected to see John’s body next to hers but instead all she saw was an empty space. After a few more blinks, she noticed a note on the vacant pillow.

I’m sorry for disappearing. I decided to go for a run before going into the office and I didn’t want to disturb you. You look so cute when you sleep. I’ll talk to you later. 

John

Turning to once again lay on her back, Marlena held her stomach with both hands over the thin sheet as she looked up at the ceiling. “Oh my baby, I hope this is a step in the right direction…I want nothing but happiness for you.” Marlena smiled brightly, taking a deep breath before getting ready for the day.

The next few days passed by quickly with John and Marlena relatively busy living their separate lives, maintaining their careers, spending time with friends, only speaking on the phone or texting for short periods of time and those conversations were strictly baby related.

Neither acknowledged what happened the other night, never speaking of it. They had taken a big step, and both were either too worried or unsure of what to do or what would happen next. Neither wanted to be the first to bring it up or to feel like they were putting pressure on the other. They each figured that eventually everything would work itself out and that they shouldn’t do anything to mess with it.  Just go with the flow. If it’s meant to be, it will happen.

Maybe the first time wasn’t the right time for them, and now love was ready for a second chance. But one has to be willing to take that chance. Some people are too scared, too stubborn, too stupid or too hurt from the first time around and so they don’t take the second chance they are given. If you get a second chance at loving the same person twice, take it.

Soon Friday came along, the night of the Basic Black and University Hospital fundraiser event. The black-tie event was well underway and had quite the turnout.

“Wow,” was all he said when he saw her, eyes wide. There she stood under the archway leading into the hall, fashionably late.

She let out a shy laugh, complimenting him as well. She wore an attention grabbing, black long sleeve floor length and figure-hugging dress with crystal detailing at the plunging neckline. Her hair was straightened, and the top half was pinned to the back of her head, a thin tendril of hair loose on the left side of her face.

“You’re always gorgeous, and I didn’t think this was a possibility, but I think pregnancy makes you even prettier. Tonight, that dress…it’s just…wow.”

Blushing, she slapped his arm softly. “Stop it or it will get to my head.”

“Not possible. You’ve always been so gracious and modest and probably blind to how beautiful you really are. You have no idea how many heads you turn every single time you walk into a room.” Marlena lowered her head, blushing. “It even happened tonight. You didn’t just catch my eye, but the eye of every men in this room, and to be honest, probably some women’s too.”

She laughed. “Oh yeah?” She raised an eyebrow playfully. “Which women do you think?” She went on to skim the room.

“You see that woman over there,” John said, nodding towards a tall and slender brunette standing alongside a slew of men. “That’s Dr. Tancredi. She’s the head of Pediatrics.”

Marlena nodded, seemingly intrigued, with a grin on her face.

“And the man she is talking with is Dr. Snyder. He’s an oncologist and he’s also her husband.”

“You’re saying that I turned both of their heads?” She said sarcastically with a chuckle.

John couldn’t keep a straight face, he laughed. “Oh I don’t know,” he shrugged. “You probably did though.” He chuckled. “The reason I pointed them out is because she’s involved in the project. Obviously she’ll know better than anyone how to allocate the funds.”

“She’s pretty,” Marlena said.

“I’ll introduce you later, but right now I am going to get some drinks,” John said. “Would you like anything? I made sure they had iced tea for you.”

Marlena smiled at his thoughtfulness. “That sounds wonderful, thank you.”

She was talking with Phillip Black when John returned. “Here you go.” He handed Marlena her drink. “Hey dad, I’m glad you could make it.”

“I wouldn’t miss it. Your mother and I are very proud of you,” the older Black said. “Your mother would have loved to be here, but as I was telling the mother of my grandchild,” he smiled to Marlena, “your grandmother broke her ankle, so your mom flew down to be with her for a few days.”

“Yeah, she texted me. In fact, she said that she’d like you to do a donation on her behalf…”

Marlena laughed at John’s wiggling eyebrows.

Phillip raised a knowing eyebrow; the same way John always did. “Yeah, I guess I better get on that.” Phillip began walking away, winking at Marlena and patting John on the back.

“Thanks dad!”

“Very smooth,” Marlena laughed.

John grinned before taking a drink of champagne. “All for a good cause.”

They were talking with one of the hospital administrators when a short man wearing a blue suit came up to them. “Mr. Black? Would you have a few minutes to answer some questions? I’m with the Spectator.”

“Why not,” John said enthusiastically after looking at Marlena.

“My name is Ryan, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

They shook hands as John said, “likewise. Ryan, this is Marlena.”

The young reporter smiled as they too shook hands. “Congratulations,” he said while looking down at her stomach.

Marlena smiled gleefully, her right hand going to hold the bulge. “Thank you.”

The man pulled out a recorder and held it up. “First, let me say that I just think what you’re doing for the kids is so major and it warms my heart.”

“Well thank you very much.”

“How did this charitable donation come about?”

“Well Ryan, it was a combination of different things.” John cleared his throat before beginning. “A colleague of mine told me once that she witnessed a mother and daughter duo shopping and going through our merchandise, but what stood out is this little girl was on portable oxygen. As some of you may know, I am expecting a baby, a son, this spring so that may have played a factor as to why this particular situation struck something within me. I’ve definitely become more sensitized to children these past few months,” he nodded. “Furthermore, I’ve known Dr. Horton for years and we have a great relationship and I have tremendous respect for him, so I brought the idea to him and here we are.”

“So you said that 40% of the profits will go to the Pediatrics Unit? Wow, that’s a big amount!”

John nodded. “Indeed it is.”

“You’re not afraid of what impact this may have on Basic Black as a whole?” Ryan looked to the side when a couple of men walked by and exchanged greetings with John.

“No, I’m not worried,” continued John. “Basic Black’s solid. We’re doing very well. Besides, now that I have a son on the way, I see things in a different way. This is a great cause and children are innocent, they deserve to live and laugh and be happy. They can’t very well do that in a hospital.”

“You and your wife —”

“Oh, we’re not married,” Marlena cut in gently.

“My apologies,” Ryan smiled. “How long have you been together?”

Looking at each other, John did the math quickly. “We’ve known each other for seven years.”

“Well the way you look at her speaks for itself. Your face beams with love when you look at her.”

John chocked on his saliva, caught off guard. “Isn’t that funny,” he said, feeling uncomfortable. He took a big gulp of his champagne.

“When is the baby due?” he directed this part to Marlena, not noticing the awkwardness he created.

Politely she smiled, blushing. “He’s not due for another 10 weeks.”

“That’s not long at all. Enjoy your alone time now while you can. I have two and I haven’t slept in four years.”

Marlena laughed. “Oh no, don’t tell me that!”

“So back to your charitable donation,” the reporter circled back, looking at John.

“If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go mingle,” Marlena said, eager to go find someone else to talk to. “It was nice speaking with you.” She shook the man’s extended hand and whispered an “I’ll see you later” to John

“She’s a looker.”

“She most certainly is.” John looked appreciatively at her retreating form, licking his lips.

“You’re a lucky man.”

John gave a chuckle and a smile in reply.

**

“Thank goodness you came.” Marlena was so relieved to see a friend, someone she could finally have a real conversation with, besides Alice Horton of course. They talked, but eventually she had to go proceed to the duties associated with being the wife of the Chief of Staff, along with being the Director of the hospital volunteer program.

“I told you I would,” Lexie said into Marlena’s hair as they hugged.

“When I didn’t see you earlier, I thought something might have happened to change your mind.”

“Never,” she winked. “I had to be here for my friend.”

“Thank you for coming, even though Abe couldn’t join.”

“What can I say, criminals keep my fiancé and the entire PD pretty busy.”

“I don’t know how you do it,” Marlena started. “I’m thankful John isn’t in law enforcement, I think I’d worry too much. I would fear that something would happen, and my son would lose his father.”

“You never really get used to it,” Lexie admitted. “I just cherish every moment we have together and take nothing for granted. You know that saying you don’t know what you have until it’s gone? Well I know what I have, and I don’t want to lose it.”

Marlena nodded, knowing that saying all too well.

“What about you?”

“Oh, you know, there’s really not much to say. I’m taking it day by day even though I have absolutely no idea where I’m going.”

“It’s perfectly normal to feel that way, especially with the extra hormones coursing through you,” Lexie reminded.

Marlena pursed her lips together and nodded. “My life is so not what I expected it to be. Nothing is as it should be. Everything is happening in the wrong way and I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Things rarely happen in the way we want them to.”

Marlena caught the eye of someone across the hall, the woman and her friends quickly looking away. “I wish people would stop staring or at the very least try to be more discreet about it,” she complained.

Lexie put a reassuring hand around Marlena’s wrist. “They’re just jealous that you can still look this hot even though you’re pregnant.”

“I do look pretty good,” Marlena agreed, a hint of a grin on her lips. “But I can feel their stares burning into me. Like, get over it.”

“You know I’m on your side…I just never heard the full story. I know it’s probably not something you like to discuss.”

“I’m not particularly in the mood for that right now.  But the main thing is that I’m not the one who went after John and stole him away.”

“Well of course I know that,” Lexie reassured her friend. “It was just a matter of time before it happened anyways.” When Marlena gave a bemused look, Lexie looked up, almost as if she were searching for the correct words. “When I think of the future, I just see the two of you together. You’re John and Marlena. It’s inevitable.”

Marlena pressed her lips together and shrugged. Was that true? Were they bound to always turn back to each other? It seemed that way… “I don’t want to say too much just yet,” she began, “but John and I are good right now, better than we have been in a long time,” she teased, biting her lower lip.

Some noise was heard on the speaker, as if someone tapped their finger directly on the microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?” Tom Horton’s voice came on overhead. “As this is a fundraiser, I believe it is time to start with the auction part of the night. We’ve got great things to bid on; dances with some lovely men and women who have volunteered themselves, we have a pair of tickets for a day at Nordic Spa, among other items there is even some items being donated from Basic Black itself,” he explained. “Let me tell you, John Black means business when he’s already giving up half the profits of a full year, on top of donating items from various lines. That’s more than a pretty penny.” There was an applause from the crowd. “Let’s say we get this show on the road, shall we! First up we have…”

“You’re auctioning a dance, right?” Lexie asked her friend. “Maybe I could spare some money for you.”

Marlena laughed. “Oh no, please, save your money for one of the hot doctors.”

Lexie raised an intrigued brow, followed by a laugh. “It’s a good thing Abe isn’t here.”

“I heard that,” John said as he came up behind them.

“It’s for a good cause,” Lexie joked. “Which one of these doctors do I get to bid on?” Her eyes skimmed the room eagerly.

“Alice has a list if you want to go check it out,” John said with a chuckle.

***

“Next up is a bid for a dance. We’ve got Basic Black’s Regional Manager of the Chicago division, Miss Kristen Blake!” Kristen made her way next to Tom, a toothy smile taking over her face. “Miss Blake is auctioning off the pleasure of one dance to the highest bidder tonight. Let’s start the bidding, shall we say 100$?”

“150$!” was heard from somewhere across the sea of people.

“200$!”

“240$!”

“300$!” Marlena looked to her side, surprised when she heard none other than John yell out the bid.

“Do I hear 350$?” Tom asked. “No? 300 going once…going twice…and sold to founder and CEO, John Black, for 300$!” He waited until the applause died down before continuing. “You know you’re good at your job when your boss spends 300$ for a single dance,” Tom joked. “Now, will you two please join each other on the dance floor to collect your prize. Ladies and gentlemen, stay close as we have more items, and yes, more dances to auction off as the night continues.”

A crowd formed around the dance floor as the soft music began to play and John and Kristen walked to the middle. John placed his hand on the center of her back, Kristen had her left hand on his shoulder and their free hands met, holding their arms out as he slowly led the way. Together they swayed to the music.

As the song progressed Marlena felt stressed. Kristen couldn’t stop smiling like a fool and occasionally throwing her head back as laughter escaped her. Although Marlena couldn’t tell what they were saying, it was evident that Kristen was having more fun than a simple colleague should.

“Looks like that baby of yours didn’t quite trap him like you thought it would.” It was Rebecca. She was standing behind Marlena, speaking over her shoulder. “He seems to have his eyes on somebody new.”

Marlena rolled her eyes but didn’t bother facing her. “I know you’re hurt, but if John takes a liking to another woman that’s fine with me. He deserves to be happy.”

“He was happy…with me. Until you snuck back in and destroyed it all.”

That did it. With a flat affect, Marlena turned to face the woman. “That’s not how it happened. I wish it hadn’t of happened the way it did, I wish you never got hurt. I’m truly sorry, but I can’t continue to argue with you. I acknowledge your resentment and I accept it, but I’m not going to try to change your mind about it anymore. It’s up to you if you keep holding on to that resentment, but I’m done with this.”

Rebecca scoffed at her, not believing her ears. Not long after, she saw John coming their way. They hadn’t noticed but the song was over, and he was making a beeline towards them, concern written over his face. Unbelievable, she thought.  “Here comes John to rescue his precious little Marlena, as if she needs to be protected from me.”

Marlena looked over her shoulder and saw him coming quickly. She also noticed bystanders taking an interest. “Leave it be,” she whispered as he passed her, coming to stand directly in front of Rebecca.

“Hello John,” she greeted arrogantly. “It seems like you found time to leave that girl you were dancing with for your other girl. Now tell me John, which one of the two is your side piece? It doesn’t seem like he can commit to only one woman,” she directed that last part to Marlena.

“Are you finished? This isn’t the time or the place.” He looked around, noticing intrigued gossipers watching them like hawks.

“I am finished,” she nodded, a flat face. “I’m finished with the both of you.” She looked him over harshly before taking a deep breath and finally leaving.

John turned to Marlena, worry written over his face. “Are you alright?” He knew stress wasn’t good for her or the baby, especially since her blood pressure had been slightly elevated recently.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You seem upset.”

Marlena looked down, unable to see her feet due to the baby occupying her uterus. “She blames me,” she whispered.

John sighed. “If anybody is at fault it’s me. I pursued you relentlessly even though I knew you were trying to put your life back together.”

“It’s not entirely your fault.” Marlena looked up then, locking eyes with John. “I knew what I wanted…I wanted you just as much as you wanted me,” she admitted.

They held their intense stare for a few moments longer before John reached out and pulled her into his arms for a hug.

Marlena pushed back shortly after. “Not here. That will only give them more reason to talk.”

Respectfully John pulled his hands away and took a step back, although a little bothered by her rejecting and pushing him away. Putting his feelings aside, John put on a façade and held out his arm, motioning for Kristen to come on over, finally introducing the two women.

“It’s so good to finally meet you,” Kristen said enthusiastically. “I’ve heard a lot about you. My god, you’re absolutely beautiful!” She couldn’t help but to stare at the glowing blonde before her.

Marlena smiled sweetly. “Thank you. You’re looking great yourself.” Feeling uneasy, she looked around the room, feeling the eyes of others on her. “I’m sorry, I’m – Please excuse me,” the words stumbled out as she began to walk away.

“Where are you going?” John called out, confused at her sudden behavior.

“I’ll be right back, I just need a little fresh air.”

“You’re the next auction after the Basic Black clothes and that’s about to start any minute now,” he reminded, holding onto her arm.

“I’ll be back in time.” She disappeared through the crowd and found herself on the terrace within minutes.

“Good evening, Marlena.” Marlena turned around, surprised. She hadn’t noticed anyone out on the terrace when she arrived. She saw Dr. Karen Bader standing by the French doors, a wrap covering her shoulders. “It’s been quite a night, I can’t believe I am now just speaking with you.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty crowded in there,” she sighed, turning back around and looking over at the snow-covered garden bellow.

“Everything alright?”

“It’s just so annoying, you know,” Marlena sighed, full of frustration. “Having people stare at me, whispering behind my back, all the while I have to watch what I do because I don’t want to add fuel to the fire and I also don’t want to hurt Rebecca any more than I already have.”

Karen walked over to Marlena, gently putting a hand on her shoulder. “You’re thinking of her and her feelings in this situation. Do you know how selfless and hard that would be for anyone else? I have to give you major credit.” She smiled when Marlena looked her way. “Personally, I wouldn’t be able to stay calm and composed if I had everyone on my back like that.”

With a sad sigh, Marlena said, “Yeah…”, enjoying the cool winter breeze on her heated flesh.

“Well I can see you need your time alone…I’ll let you be.”

She smiled appreciatively. “Thank you. Maybe I’ll see you back in there.”

Marlena stayed out for a few more minutes, until her once heated body began to shiver. “I’m not really a bad person,” she whispered to her stomach. “I just haven’t taken the best decisions lately…One day you’ll understand how caring for someone makes you blind.”

She heard someone clear their throat from the archway. “You’re up next,” Lexie said.

“I’ll be right there,” Marlena smiled to her friend. She took a few more peaceful breaths before composing herself and rejoining the event.

“Next up is another dance, this time with Dr. Marlena Evans!” Tom announced, followed by the applause of the crowd. “Okay, alright,” he tried to speak over everyone. “Now, let’s start the bidding. How about uhh…anyone say 1000$ to dance with this beautiful accomplished woman?”

“Oh Tom,” Alice laughed, playfully slapping his shoulder.

“Okay, I’ll be serious. Do we have any kind of a bid at all?”

“100!” John’s dad yelled out.

“150!” Tom yelled out and the crowd laughed. “Hey just because I’m emceeing this thing doesn’t mean I don’t get to bid.”

“200$!” Another voice was heard yelling from somewhere in the mix of people.

“250$!” It was Phillip again.

“One hundred thousand!”

The room fell silent. The smile dropped from Marlena’s face.

“What?” Alice was shocked. “Who said that?”

“Bidder, come on up here. Would you mind repeating what you said?”

“One hundred thousand,” John repeated, a proud smile displayed on his face as he walked up to them.

Whispers began to spread across the room. Marlena looked intently at John as he smiled. Tom was bewildered while Alice laughed in shock. Rebecca fumed from the bar. Kristen momentarily looked disappointed but quickly dismissed it and replaced the look with a polite smile.

“For the pleasure of one dance with Dr. Marlena Evans, we have a bid for 100 000$!” Tom announced lively over the speaker system as the crowd cheered. “Going…going…gone!”

John saw her looking around before her eyes met his, both of them making a beeline to each other, quickly closing the distance between them.

John stuck his hand out towards Marlena and asked, “May I have this dance?”

She extended her arm out to him and as soon as they touched, a slow song started to play. John led them to the dance floor and firmly but gently placed one hand on her lower back, the other holding her hand over his heart. He softly brushed his thumb over her hand, relishing the feel of her silky flesh.

They fell in step, letting the rhythm control their movements. They moved in unison, their bodies remembering one another. He looked at her and she snuck glances at him. Finally, she broke the silence.

“You spent way too much for that dance.” Her hazel eyes glistened, and a smile spread across her beautiful face.

“You’re worth more than 100$.”

“Yeah, but 100 000$ worth?”

“It’s a good cause.” Uncontrollable feelings surged through his body, his fingers tingling in delight. “If I’m being honest, I’d pay twice as much to dance with you.” He drew her closer to his chest, as much as her pregnant belly would allow.

“Oh!” Marlena’s eyes grew wide in amusement, a little laugh escaping her lips when the baby kicked for the second time.

“I don’t think our son wants to share you,” said John, joking at the fact that as soon as John pulled her closer, the baby kicked hard enough for John to feel it against his own stomach.

Marlena muffled her laughter by pressing her face into John’s shoulder. What was just innocent and unintentional turned into something more. Now she could feel John shaking with laughter as well. The sensation warmed Marlena all the way to her toes and she never wanted it to stop.

Their laughter eventually did fade though, slipping into an easily silence with only the band crooning in the background. They swayed with the music, the dozens of couples around them fading away.

Marlena never felt more at ease, more safe than she did at that moment in his arms. She wished she could say it was because she was far from the troubles of reality, but she knew that wasn’t it.

It wasn’t just relief that Marlena was feeling. It was love. She was in love with John Black, the wealthy 29-year-old business tycoon who made stupid puns, who had the worst taste in ice cream (Reese’s, yuck!) and who was inexplicably obsessed with baseball. He knew when Marlena needed to laugh and when she just needed his presence. He knew when to push and when to be oh so gentle and he made Marlena feel like she was home whenever she was with him and…

It’s like your one true love – you could probably love somebody else and be happy, but there’s that one person that just does everything for you. For her, that was John.

Marlena loved him.

​It seemed as soon as the song was over they were ripped apart. Kristen was putting a hand on John’s forearm before he completely disentangled himself from Marlena. “I’m sorry for interrupting,” she said, scrunching her nose. “I really am, but could I possibly steal John away for a few minutes?”

Marlena smiled at the two, hiding her annoyance. Seriously, Kristen could have waited a minute or two, or at the very least wait until she and John were finished before barging in and pulling him away. “Duty calls,” she said understandingly.

As they walked away Kristen explained, “There’s another reporter that would like to interview you. The more press about it the better it will be for sales, new customers and more donations.”

“That’s absolutely true. Did you get a chance to speak with him?”

“Very briefly. His name is Aaron Lavery and I actually forgot who he’s with, I just remember it was online.”

“Even better,” John smiled. Nowadays the world revolves around social media and the internet. If it wasn’t posted online, it didn’t really happen.

“This is him,” said Kristen when they walked up to the dirty blond headed man with freckles.

“Good evening! My name is Aaron and I’m here on behalf of The Exposition. So nice to meet you Mr. Black.”

“Likewise. I’m glad we can talk. Would you like a drink?” John offered to which the man declined.

“Is there another place you’d like to talk or is here fine?” Aaron gestured around them. They stood off near the dance floor, people coming and going around them.

“We could go sit at one of those tables if you’d like.” John pointed to the side of the hall where rounded tables were displayed. Smiling, John motioned with his hand for Aaron and Kristen to go ahead of him. Once as the table John pulled out a chair for Kristen.

“Such a gentleman,” Aaron observed as he took his own seat.

“That’s just who he is,” Kristen complimented while placing her palms flat on the table.

John gave a small smile before saying, “How’s your evening going so far?”

“It’s great. It’s a fun night, the auctions are interesting, and I even donated a little myself,” Mr. Lavery said proudly.

“Thank you very much.”

“Absolutely! Speaking of the fundraising, I had the chance to interview Dr. Horton and Dr. Tancredi. They both said the idea was solely yours.”

“Mhhhmm.” Looking to Kristen John added, “I actually have to give credit to this woman here. Kristen is the one who gave me the idea.”

They spent some time talking about the fundraising, the Baby Black line, about Basic Black in general before Aaron Lavery decided to try his luck at another angle. “Having been here since the very start of the night I’ve of course noticed a few things and heard some rumblings.”

John’s signature eyebrow raised. “Oh?”

“Now correct me if I’m wrong,” the man paused to clear his throat, “from what I’ve gathered you just recently became single, isn’t that right?”

John was surprised, not expecting this type of question. “That’s a fact, but I don’t see how this has to do with Baby Black’s initiative and the hospital.”

Not fazed, Aaron continued without even a blink. “Isn’t it also a fact that you were in a longtime relationship with this woman when you began to cheat on her? And when the woman you were carrying on the affair with became pregnant you left said girlfriend for her.” Aaron did not waver in his cocky disposition.

John’s flat face turned into a laugh. “Ah, you must be from a tabloid who likes to spread gossip and feed into rumors.”

“See, that’s just it. So far it’s just people talking. Rumors. Would you care to clear that up? Is there any truth to any of it?” he goaded.

“No comment. My personal life is not up for publicity here tonight.”

“But you brought your pregnant mistress as your date tonight,” Aaron pushed.

“Easy pall,” John warned, jaw set.

Kristen grabbed John by the arm with both hands before he could do anything that would cause a scene. “John, let’s go.” She pulled him up.

Pulling his arm away, John fixed his cuff links. “I think we’re done here.”

Trying to keep up with his pace, Kristen said, “Oh my god, John, I am so sorry! I had no idea he was going to do that.”

“Me neither,” he replied, annoyance evident in his tone. “I need a drink.” He walked up to the bar told the man, “Scotch, please.” Turning around and leaning against the bar, John felt the liquor burn as it went down his throat. Before long and after some calming breaths John went back to work on charming people into giving up some money.

***

“Alright folks, what do you say we put the dances on hold and we jump to our spa package auction.” Tom was once again at the stage with index cards in his hand, Alice not far from his side.

“I’ll see you later,” Marlena said to Alice before giving her a kiss on the cheek and leaving the iconic couple to do their auction. Seeing John alone for the first time in a long time Marlena gracefully walked up to John, sneaking up behind him and poking his back. “Hi.”

He turned around swiftly. “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been?”

“Just mingling. After you got pulled aside by Kristen I spent some time with your dad, with Tom and Alice. Lexie introduced me to a few residents she’s working with.”

He smiled and nodded at a passerby. “Sounds like you’ve been busy,” he said.

“Not as busy as you. You’re busy bringing in some donations.”

“And I think I’ve done more than my share for tonight. How about a dance?” Marlena pleasantly accepted his hand and followed him to where they left off earlier that evening. “Are you enjoying yourself?” He asked as they began to sway.

“I am. Besides a few minor exceptions,” she thought of Rebecca, “this is a wonderful evening. It feels so good to get all dressed up with somewhere to go after months of feeling like a beached whale.”

He laughed, tightening his hold on her waist as much as possible. “Whales have nothing on you.”

She smiled. “Nice save…I was thinking earlier; this might be the last time that I can get glammed up and go out for a long time. I already know I won’t want to leave the baby, not to mention how tired I’ll be to even go anywhere.”

“You could roll out of bed in a housecoat and curlers and you’d still knock my socks off.” He said it with a mischievous smirk, but he was serious. Everything about her — anytime, anywhere, any way — could take his breath away.

Marlena threw her head back in laughter. “No, I don’t think so. No.” They finished the rest of the song in silence, Marlena eventually resting her head on John’s shoulder as the fatigue began to set in.

“Shall we go soon?” John took hold of her upper arms and pulled her back, worrying that she may be overdoing it.

She shook her head. “No,” she said rather softly, brushing the hair out of her eyes. “Anyways, your dad already offered to drive me home, but I declined. I suppose he may be a little worried that all this being on my feet, the moving around and the excitement might be exhausting for a woman who is in her third trimester.”

John smirked. “Like father like son.”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” she reassured, placing her hand underneath her bulge in support. “Trust me, if there is anything, I will tell you immediately.”

“You just seem really tired,” noted John.

Marlena let out a laugh. “I’m tired every minute of every day. I don’t sleep well and what little sleep I do get gets interrupted because I have to go to the bathroom more than ever before, I’m carrying around an extra 20 pounds, all my energy is going towards the life growing inside of me. That’s pregnancy.”

“I’m sorry. I literally know nothing about this sort of stuff, so I get worried at the littlest of things. But I can see that Dr. Evans is a brilliant doctor and she’s got everything covered.”

“That she does. Don’t worry about us.”

“It’s weird, not so long ago I never thought I’d be where I am right now, but now that it’s happening I can’t see my life any other way. I’ll always worry and want to protect the both of you.”

Marlena blushes, feeling butterflies in her stomach. “Thank you. You’re going to be an amazing father.”

“You say that now, but just you wait until I get him all into baseball and that’s all he talks about,” he teased. “And then of course when he makes it as the next shortstop for the Yankees.”

“I’ll be at every single game. From little league all the way to the major league.” Even though baseball isn’t really my thing, she thought. “It will be nice to have a mini you.”

“Yeah, he’s going to be a cute kid.” John smiled in wonderment, not noticing a man coming their way.

“This must be the one.” The tall man, who could only be described as a gentle giant, was about in his early 50s. He smiled from ear to ear as he joined John and Marlena near the bar.

“Marlena, this is Anthony Campbell,” John introduced after sharing a handshake. “Mr. Campbell is on the board of directors.”

Marlena smiled politely and offered her hand to him. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise. John’s been talking up a storm about you.”

“He has?” She feigned nervousness.

“He tells me you’re a doctor and that psychiatry is your specialty? How he managed to get such a smart and attractive woman is a mystery.” Anthony gave a laugh and patted John on the shoulder jokingly.

Marlena shrugged with a wink.

“I must have done something right,” said John, shrugging.

“You did,” Marlena admittedly confidently. “You did many things right back then…it was hard not to fall. I fell for you every single day. And you were there to catch me.”

John felt a tightening in the pit of his stomach, ashamed at the ugly truth behind her statement. Reacting, John smiled between the two and let out an easy laugh. “Marlena actually used to work for University Hospital,” he derailed.

Mr. Campbell raised his glass, ready to take another drink. “Used to?”

“I did my first year of residency here,” she nodded. “I suppose you could say I clicked with Dr. Winthrop almost instantly and she was really good with her teaching and the patients I’d get. All this to say that when she left to start her own practice separate from the hospital, I joined her. I wasn’t done learning from her yet.”

“Hmmm,” Mr. Campbell hummed pensively. “Is she still living up to the hype?”

“Oh absolutely.”

“That’s what’s most important. Although I’m sure you noticed how very different acute and community settings are?

“Very much so, but I appreciate any opportunity to learn.” Truth be told, Marlena loved every aspect of psychiatry. She didn’t care where she worked as long as she got to keep learning and doing what she loved.

“I wish you luck.”

“I appreciate that, thank you.”

“Well, John, it was a pleasure speaking with you tonight.” The men once again shook hands. “Keep up the good work. Hopefully we can do more collaborations in the future.”

John was enthusiastic. “You certainly have my interest.”

“I’m going to head on out, I’m sure my old lady must be waiting up for me. Have a good night and good luck with the baby. I can’t wait to meet the newest Black.” Focusing on Marlena, he extended his hand out to her again. “If you’re ever interested in rejoining University Hospital, I’m sure there’s room for you.”

Having Marlena back at the hospital would mean more links between John and the hospital and Mr. Campbell liked the thought of that. John was a big and valued donor who could continue to do great things for the hospital.

“Thank you. It was nice meeting you.”

***

A small amount of wet and slushy snow was falling down on the drive home. They drove in silence, the radio playing at a low volume, adding to the calm.

“About what you said earlier when we were talking with Mr. Campbell…” John took his eyes off the road for a second to give her a pained expression. “About you falling and me being there to catch you…”

“I didn’t mean —”

“I’m sorry.” It was as simple as that. He needed her to know that he was sorry.

She looked sideways to him, confusion written over her face and her vulnerability showing through. “You…Sorry for what?”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t always there to catch you. I’m sorry you fell and that I wasn’t there for you.” He truly meant it.

Marlena’s chin began to quiver. Swallowing sharply, she faked strength. “Life happens. People change,” she tried to explain. “Love is mysterious, it’s unpredictable. See, love doesn’t have any patterns, it doesn’t have any rules. It really is just a leap of faith…” she said, trance-like. It was suddenly as if she were talking to herself or thinking out loud. “Maybe they call it that because we’re never sure if somebody’s going to be there to catch us…” she trailed off again, returning to the present, “and yet, we leap…Eventually I’ll be someone else’s to catch.”

John didn’t know how to respond, so he didn’t.  He took the cowardly option and said nothing. They drove the rest of the way to the penthouse in silence. During this time John couldn’t help but think of her words. What she said was so intuitive, so deep, so passionate. He knew he’d never be able to come up with a worthy response.

Walking her up to her door, John silently opened the door and helped her to slip out of her coat. “Thanks for coming out tonight. I really appreciate it,” he said softly from behind her.

“It was fun.”

There was a long moment of silence as neither said anything. Marlena bit the inside of her cheek, wondering what to do or what to say. Looking at him there was plenty she wanted to say but she couldn’t say any of it.

It was then that John put an end to the deafening quiet. He took in her appearance before meeting her eyes and saying, “What if I don’t want anyone else to catch you?” His voice was strong, confident, as was his face.

Marlena’s eyes stung, becoming watery but she said nothing. You jerk! You don’t love me but nobody else is allowed to either, she thought...Averting her eyes, she shrugged sadly.

“I’m going to head on out,” he shot a finger over his shoulder towards the door, “it’s been a long night. I’m sure you’re probably exhausted and can’t wait to get off your feet.”

“Yeah…”

“Goodnight.”

“Night.” Within seconds he was as gone.

Marlena picked up a cushion from the couch and threw it back down with such force, frustrated with the fact that she let herself fall under his spell once again only to be left out in the cold.

​Hi baby,

I can’t believe I waited my whole life for you and now you’re almost here. It’s almost time for me to finally meet you.

Now you might not have been planned but you are very very wanted. Your dad and I can’t wait to hold you and kiss you and cuddle with you. We love you so much. Can you tell we’re super excited? We are constantly talking and sharing stories of how we imagine you’ll be. 

Your dad says you’re going to be a baseball player…I think so too, although I’ve never shared that with him because that would feed into his ego a little bit…He really can’t wait until you’re old enough to throw a ball and hold a bat. He’s got it all planned out already and he painted the perfect picture. I can already see myself as being your biggest cheerleader. I’ll be the mom yelling the loudest from the bleachers, gloating about you every chance I get. I just can’t wait for it all.

She stopped writing and gave a little laugh and a slight rub on the tummy.

Or maybe you’ll be a soccer player because you’re kicking up a storm today. Then again, this isn’t anything new. It always makes my heart flutter when you start these sessions.

Marlena put the pen down on her lap and watched the baby as it did his daily exercise.

When John came back from his meeting that afternoon he was surprised to see Marlena was already home, sitting cross-legged on the couch with her shirt pulled up and a pile of work beside her.

“Hi,” he greeted her, smirking, “You’re home early.”

Marlena folded the piece of paper that was on her lap and put it with the pen on top of her pile of work. “Yes. Do you usually come to my home when I’m not here?” she cocked an eyebrow.

“Negative. I came here for your grocery list. I saw it the other day and figured it would be easier if I did it,” he explained.

Accepting his explanation, she nodded. “I’m so tired,” she admitted, laughing a little bit. “And he’s wiggling so much today, I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Come look at this.”

John put his coat down and kneeled in front of her, rubbing his hands over her large belly and pressing a kiss to it before he pulled back to look. He watched as her bump lurched gently back and forth, smiling in awe as a limb poked out a bit and rippled down her side.

Marlena winced at a sharper movement, gently pressing her hands down against the baby’s feet. “He’s been doing this all day, kicking me in that same rib. Normally if I do a few laps around the table he’ll settle, at least a little bit, but today, no dice.”

“He knows his eviction notice is coming,” he joked, “He’s getting restless with anticipation in there.”

“Well that makes two of us. If he gets any bigger I’m not going to be able to walk around.”

John laughed, plopping down next to her. “I’m getting really excited.”

She took a breath, like she was trying to keep from smiling but then couldn’t help it. “Me too. I’m…I’m terrified, actually, but at the same time I’m ready to meet him.”

“You’re going to be fine,” he reassured her, “You’re ready, we’ve practiced the breathing and the visualization, and I’m going to be with you the whole time.”

“I know, it’s just so unknown. And part of me feels like pushing him out is going to be the easy part, after he’s born, that’s when the realwork starts.”

“It’s also when the fun starts. We get to watch him learn to crawl, and walk, and try his first food, and go on his first date.”

“First food to first date is a hell of a jump,” she laughed.

“Have you ever held a newborn before?”

She shook her head, rubbing a hand over her belly. “I haven’t, but I’ve heard it’s pretty special.”

He smiled at her and they grew quiet for a little while, watching her belly shift and ripple.

“Do you think I’ll be a good mom?” Her voice was soft and tentative, and when he met her eyes, he was shocked to see that they were full of tears.

“Oh, I think you’ll be a greatmom,” he murmured.

She stared at him for a moment, her chin trembling. “Really?”

“Of course. You’re warm and kind, you know how to listen and how to be patient. You’re a good person, and you’ll be a great role model for him, that’s one of the best things you can do as a parent.”

“I just want—” she broke off to collect herself, “—I just want to be better for him, better than I’ve been the past few years. I don’t ever want him to feel abandoned, or alone. I want to be there for him—”

“—and you will be. Listen to me, you’re going to be an incredible mom.”

Marlena nodded, wiping her eyes, grateful for the reassurance.

He leaned in, pressing a lasting kiss to her forehead, smiling at her when they broke apart. “Want me to read to him? Try to get him to settle down?” he asked, softly.

She smiled, cradling her belly. “Let’s watch him for a couple more minutes.”

After a long ‘couple more minutes’ John finally sighed and said, “I really should get going if I’m going to do your groceries before hopping on the plane.”

“I forgot about that.”

“It won’t be long. I’m flying out today just in time to make the meeting with the store owner and once everything is squared away tomorrow, I’ll be on my way back.”

“What is this meeting for again?”

“Some local store owner would like to sell our merchandise,” he explained. “Kristen set up the meeting for a few hours from now.”

“She can’t handle this on her own? Isn’t that why you hired someone; to deal with the business in Chicago?”

“Well I am the CEO, so if they are going to be carrying my brand, I’d like to handle the bigger details personally…Is everything alright? You seem…I don’t know — off?”

Marlena inhaled a big breath before speaking. “The closer I get to my due date, the more I worry. What if something happens and you’re not here?”

He chuckled. “We still have lots of time before he comes. Don’t worry, I’ll be here. Pretty soon all travels will be put on hold until after the baby is born. Just a couple more weeks and then you’ll have me at your disposal anytime you need me.”

“Even if I call you in the middle of the night because I have a craving for the most random thing?”

“Even then.”

“I’ll seriously do it,” with a sly grin she raised an eyebrow suggestively. “I’ll call you up at 2am and make you get out of bed and drive all the way to my place to bring me a burger or something…Oooh, a burger sounds really nice right now actually,” she thought, suddenly hungry.

John just laughed and shook his head.

**

There was a knock on Marlena’s door a few hours later. With a hand on her lower back, she waddled to the front door. “John? I don’t understand.” She moved aside when he walked in, shutting the door behind him. “I thought you were with…”

“I was.” He seemed pensive, calm. “Kristen and I were in the boardroom waiting for the potential client when I decided to come home. I realized she could handle it on her own and I didn’t really need to be there.”

I told you so, she thought to herself as she listened.

Taking a couple of steps closer to her, he said, “The whole time I was with her I was thinking about you, which isn’t really fair.”

She was visibly perplexed, not saying a thing.

“I was thinking maybe we could go out to dinner to that new Italian place that you won’t shut up about. Maybe have some desert.” He took on step closer, looking down at her. “Then I could take you home, walk you up to your door and…”

Soon, John quickly closed the gap between them both. His lips locked with hers, and his hands came to rest along her waist and his body relaxed. The kiss was tender, her lips soft unlike anything he could think of. Her tongue was adventurous, finding its way into his mouth and locking his tongue in a sensual dance with his own. The kiss, as long as it felt, was cut short as Marlena pulled away.

Marlena was at a loss for words. She could feel her cheeks warming up and her heart racing. “Y-yes…Yes I’d love to,” she found herself saying without much thought.

Without letting her say another word, John pulled her back for another kiss. The first one didn’t last long enough for him. She quickly returned the kiss and let herself fall into it, her delicate arms wrapping around his neck as they shared another kiss.

The two separated for air, a thin trail of saliva still connecting them together. “John…” Marlena softly moaned as she stared up into his eyes. Lust filled their beings, there was no going back from this. They both knew it and they wanted it just as much as the other.

John’s hands found themselves running behind Marlena and cupping her plump rear. In return she yelped softly, blushing even more as she looked up at him.

“I suppose dinner isn’t going to happen tonight,” she said softly, her heart thudding loudly in her ears.

John felt his pants growing tighter, his cock growing harder as he kept feeling her up. Marlena’s hands found themselves on John’s shirt, quickly unbuttoning every part of his dress shirt, his blazer already having been slid off by her dainty hands. Soon, his white dress shirt was unbuttoned, and Marlena could see his toned chest beneath. Her hands slid under his shirt, feeling his skin under her touch. Running down to his stomach, she could feel his abs.

That was enough to set her off, she bit her lip instinctively as she finally slid her hands up to his shoulders and slid off his shirt. Taking a moment, Marlena rubbed his forearms, loving how strong they felt before she snaked her arms around his neck, curling her fingers into his hair, pressing her body against him, her lips against his throat. Her mouth eventually finding his, she gently teased his lips apart with her tongue, delving into the cavern of his mouth, relishing his taste, his scent, the intoxicating feel of his body against hers, masculine and safe, comforting, erotic, his arms coiling around her waist.

She engaged him in a lazy waltz, their tongues courting, their teeth nipping, growing more and more urgent as his arousal swelled against her belly. When they realized they’d stopped breathing, they parted, their bodies humming, tilting towards each other, warm and ready, pining for each other until they could no longer abide the barrier of clothing between them.

Her t-shirt was easily removed and tossed to the ground, where he could now begin to work towards his prize. He ran his rough hands along her stomach and cupped her breasts. A soft moan and a squeak escaped Marlena’s mouth, feeling his fingers gently squeeze at her breasts.

Reaching behind her back and unhooking her bra, slowly Marlena removed one strap. Letting them slide down her arms and catching her bra before the big reveal. To John, she moved at a tantalizingly slow pace. She enjoyed teasing him, seeing him grow restless as she held that bra in place. After having teased him enough, she let the bra fall to the floor.

John suppressed a groan at the sight of her engorged breasts. He closed the gap, one hand coming to take a handful of her breast, while the other hand cupped the small of her backside. Marlena groaned as John massaged her breast, digits running against her sensitive pink nipple. It did not take long for him to soon begin pinching and tugging it slightly.

Marlena’s breath hitched in her throat as she soon felt John take one of her breasts into his mouth. His tongue slid around her nipple while his other hand began to squeeze and fondle her free breast. His tongue worked wonders upon her, drawing circles around her nipple as he sucked hungrily upon her. He’d playfully flick occasionally, before suddenly pulling away and leaving a trail of kisses up from her chest and to her lips.

She wasn’t sure if she was leading him or he was leading her, but they made their way to the bedroom, their bodies never ceasing contact, their lips pressed together, their hands exploring, urgently divesting each other of their outer layers until they fell onto the bed together, sweaty, panting and crazy. They curled around each other, arms and legs, fingers, lips,other parts of them seeking each other out in a familiar carnal ballet.

He had her pinned to the mattress, his lips caressing her throat as they made their way to her softest parts, his hands roaming, caressing, teasing her warm flesh, greedy and uninhibited. Coiling one leg around his back, Marlena arched towards him, urging him, needing him.

Feeling her urgency, John skimmed his lips up, locking with hers once more. They just couldn’t get enough of that; they were taking advantage of each other as much as they could. Soon, John began kissing down her body. Moving passed her chest and spending some time kissing her stomach while his two hands worked their magic on her perky breasts.

Eventually, he found himself at a roadblock. He was faced with a pair of black panties, which had a visible damp spot in between. He placed his hands on either side, looking up at Marlena for confirmation. She nodded, a little too excitedly, and John began to pull down. Slowly, more and more of her womanhood was revealed. John flawlessly slid off her panties and disposed of them to the floor. Now it was his turn.

Sitting up as best he could in front of her, John watched as Marlena removed his briefs slowly, catching themselves at the head of his cock. Marlena found herself thinking how badly she wanted that stubborn cloth to let it go. And sure enough, her wish was granted. His cock sprang forth from its confines. It was long and thick, and her eyes were alive with lust, eyeing him up and down. John, however, did not take her right then and there.

He moved his hand between her legs and placed his thumb over her clit. She gasped and was soon a moaning mess as he rubbed circles around her engorged clit, all the while a finger would prod at her wet and sensitive folds. Marlena was losing herself mentally, this was all too much for her and the two hadn’t begun the main course just yet.

“Oh…” she moaned as his thumb continued to rub over her. A moan was cut short as she felt a finger slip inside of her. John pumped in and out slowly, feeling just how tight she was. She soon began to crave something more rigid to fill her up, but she didn’t want to lose this feeling just yet. She began to move her hips slightly to match John’s finger. He picked up his pace, pumping faster and faster. His free hand came to grip her thigh.

Knowing she was coming closer to the edge, John pulled his fingers out fast and without warning. Marlena was only allowed several seconds to regain her breath before John climbed over her once more. His rod delicately rubbing up against her entrance. Her hands wrapped around his broad shoulders and she pulled him down for a kiss, his name escaping her lips as she felt John aligning himself properly between her. Upon separating, she eyed him with hunger and smiled up at him.

That was all John needed as he pushed the head of his cock passed her tight entrance. Both Marlena and John’s breaths were caught in their throats as he pushed into her. Slick walls being stretched out to accommodate his size. Marlena moaned loudly as John moved slowly, easing himself inside of her before pulling out. It was as if something had emptied from her, but that stinging pleasure still remained. Only for it to come back in full force.

They continued that painfully slow rhythm for what felt like hours before Marlena softly pushed him by the shoulders. With a grin and a few awkward moves, Marlena was able to flip them, pushing John onto the bed. Leaning over him, Marlena kissed him before coming to straddle his hips.

He bucked against her, his eyes following the soft bounce of her breasts. She giggled, leaning down as much as she could and scraped her teeth over his chin, before pressing her lips against his once again for a seductive kiss.

Releasing his sweet lips and sitting up over him, Marlena raised herself up, held him loosely within her fingers before slowly, deliberately, lowering herself onto him, her eyes fluttering shut as he filled her, her inner muscles contracting around him. They both let out low moans.

Marlena placed her hands on John’s chest and moaned as she rose up so only the tip of his penis was in her, and then suddenly slammed back down on him. She then began to slowly rise up and then back down, over and over, establishing a steady rhythm, savoring the feel of him thickly inside of her, in and out. She relished the moans and whispers that floated from him as she increased her pace, her movements fluid and measured.

She was riding him with long, slow strokes. John’s hands roamed over her body, caressing her back, her ribs, her belly, her tits. She’d gasp and pick up the pace every time he ran a finger across her swollen clit or grazed a firm nipple.

And then her mood changed, her movementschanged, and she quickened her pace, placing her hand at the place where they were joined, her fingers caressing him as he slid out of her, dizzy from the feeling of her own wetness coating her fingers.

John grasped her hips, and without warning, without words, he slapped her backside, with an audible whack.

She gasped, and then told him to do it again. Which he did. Whack!

And it only encouraged her to go faster, deeper, harder, and she cried out as his palm met her ass, the sounds of their lovemaking filling the room around them, his slaps echoing off the high ceiling, their moans and grunts and occasional Oh God’s ringing in their ears.

Lost in her own lustful trance, Marlena continued to bounce more vigorously and forcing herself down hard onto John’s cock. John was only too happy to assist and grabbed her hips to help lift her up and down whilst thrusting his cock in and out of her dripping pussy. The sound of their heavy breathing and the bed creaking filled the air.

Before long, Marlena was on the verge of cumming. As her breathing got faster, John looked up at her and admired her incredible stamina and her amazing body – he loved the way her firm boobs kept bobbing up and down as she rode him, and he loved the way pregnancy looked on her. There was something so sexy about her carrying his child. A few more minutes of this and John knew he would be cumming soon himself.

As Marlena’s release began to hit her, John held her up on his cock as she stopped moving. Her breathy moans stopped for a moment before she exhaled loudly. “Fuck!” she cried, her eyes rolling back in their sockets. Marlena had firmly planted her hands on John’s chest and came hard while she rode him.

He met her thrust for thrust pounding into her from below as she spasmed uncontrollably around him. Seeing her back arched, head thrown back, and feeling her pussy spasm around him was all John needed to send him over the edge. He grabbed her hips and thrusted up three more times before coming hard inside of her with a groan.

Still with her hands on his chest she steadied herself, trying to catch her breath while his dick continued to throb inside of her. John ran his hands up and down her sides, enjoying the view as she simply sat on him.

Playing with the curls over his heart she said in a soft tone, “Pregnant sex is always so good.”

John chuckled and bent his neck to kiss her stomach. “Keep that in mind while you’re in labor.” Marlena snorted in reply and rolled off of him, laying on her back and staring at the ceiling.

After a little recovery time John pulled his body along hers and ran his hands up and down her body before finally reaching to tweak her nipples. Marlena laughed, “Oh God, again?!”

John chuckled and rolled over so that he was on top this time. “I can’t get enough of you.”

Marlena spread her legs to accommodate him. “Are you trying to make this baby come earlier?”

John began rubbing his erection through her folds making sure to put pressure on her clit before he finally slid inside of her. She was still soaking wet. They both let out groan simultaneously. He reached for her hands and threaded their fingers together while he kept thrusting inside of her. “You feel so fucking good.”

Marlena wrapped her legs around his waist and tried to meet his thrusts. “So do you. Harder please.” Smirking, John obeyed and began thrusting harder and faster. He let go of one of her hands to stroke her clit and Marlena came immediately. “Yes! Don’t stop!” She threw her head back and closed her eyes as her pussy spasmed around his dick.

John grunted and buried his head in her neck as she trailed her free hand down and held on to his butt as he continued thrusting harder to reach his release. Soon she felt him lengthen inside of her as he groaned loudly and shot his seed in her womb.

John rolled off of Marlena and relaxed against his pillow with a smug smile. “Gets better every time…”

Speaking of getting better, John and Marlena soon found themselves partaking in round three of the night…

“How did I ever end up with you in the first place?” John asked jokingly.

“I don’t know, I must have been out of my mind the evening we first kissed,” Marlena said playfully.

“So how come you never left afterwards? Admit it Doc, you just couldn’t get enough of me, could you?” John asked cockily as he moved to lie above her as much as he could with the baby between them, resting his weight on his forearms.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I admit, you’re too hot and the only reason I’ve put up with you for so long is because you’re good in bed,” Marlena said rolling her eyes as she looked up at John who was blanketing her.

“Good thing you’re good in bed too then. How about I remind you once more just how good we both are?” John proposed.

Her eyes grew wide as she smiled and nodded, twining her hands around John’s neck, she pulled him down onto her.

Their mouths met in a hot searing kiss. Their lips stroked each other’s while playing cat and mouse games, before battling over domination. John moved a hand down to caress Marlena’s breasts, which caused a moan to be let out into his mouth. His other hand moved down to rhythmically stroke up and down Marlena’s thigh. She moved her legs apart and cradled John in between them. One of Marlena’s hands was racing through John’s wild hair while the other had travelled south and was now stroking John’s erection. He groaned hard into Marlena’s mouth as he felt her small hand enclose around his length.

As the passion grew, John tore himself from Marlena’s infectious lips and kissed down her body until he reached his destination. John placed a kiss in the valley of Marlena’s breasts before taking one fully into his mouth. He sucked on her breast and gently bit down. Using his free hand, he massaged the other. Her back arched as she pushed more of her chest towards John’s hungry mouth. Her hands flew to his hair and held his head close to her. Her moans were increasing as John pulled his head away to look up at Marlena. Their eyes met and he could see her lustful gaze watching him.

John lowered his head once more to kiss more of Marlena’s breast. She screamed out in pleasure and threw her head back deep into the pillows. Loving her response John then repeated his actions a few times. He then took her breast into his mouth once more and soothed the skin. Releasing, he moved onto the other breast, lavishing it with the same attention.

Marlena’s nerves went into overload, unable to stand it any longer. She pulled John up to her and joined their mouths once more. This time, Marlena flipped them over so that she was straddling his waist, and she began to kiss southwards. She kissed down his neck and sucked at his sensitive skin, before moving further down to kiss his hard, sculpted chest. She lightly sucked on his nipples, which earned a groan from John. Marlena knew just how to work him.

She proceeded to kiss his stomach, running her hands down his sculpted and hairy chest as John watched her in anticipation of what was to come. She wouldn’t, would she?She hadn’t performed that way in years. Not since they were in a relationship.

After what felt like years, Marlena reached John’s length. She moved her hands out to stroke along it. John watched in excited anticipation as his hold on the sheets grew tighter. All the remaining blood in his body was rushing to his groin.

John groaned as he felt Marlena’s hot breath blowing on him. Just when he thought he might be getting lucky he felt her wet tongue on his pubic bone, traveling up towards his navel. As she moved, their eyes locked. Not being able to be away from her for any longer John pulled her up to him, crashing his lips upon hers.

Flipping them over so that he was once again on top of her, John moved downwards. He kissed down her neck, then her chest and then came to her stomach. He kissed her soft skin, bringing his tongue out to swirl around her protruding belly button.

Marlena felt as if every contact John made with her skin was like fire. She could feel the sensations building up inside her stomach and couldn’t wait to feel him inside of her.

John felt as if he could practically see the juices flowing out of her intimate region. Just as he was about to go lower, John felt the baby’s kick under his lips. He let out a jolly laugh. “Looks like we might have woken him up.” His hands caressed her stretched skin, watching the rippling under her skin.

Marlena smiled lovingly down at her two guys. They were playing a game of tag, John touching a part of her belly and the baby immediately kicked that same region, then John would move his hand somewhere else and the baby’s tiny foot or hand would follow suit. Watching them, her heart swelled.

“He’ll fall back asleep,” Marlena whispered eventually, pulling John up to meet her lips in a searing kiss.

After what seemed like hours of intensely making out and running hands all over each other’s bodies John reluctantly let her lips go. They were swollen and red. So hot, he thought. Bending his head, he kissed her burning center before pushing one of his fingers inside her. Marlena moaned at the contact as he pushed another finger inside the heat and felt the wetness surround him. Her muscles clenched around his fingers and Marlena whimpered.

John brought his head up to kiss her once more on the lips, unable to resist. He then pushed another finger inside of her and Marlena felt as if she was going to burst. “You’re so wet,” John whispered huskily in Marlena’s ear as he began to stroke her with his thumb.

Marlena released a long moan before panting, “Oh yes.”

John groaned aloud and once again possessed Marlena’s mouth. He pulled his fingers out of her and licked each one of them. Dipping down, he re-captured her lips, sharing her tantalizing taste.

John positioned himself at her entrance. Looking Marlena directly in the eyes, John slid inside of her. She let out a hiss at the feel of him inside of her. It was pure bliss for both of them. At first John slowly began to push further inside of her, but as he felt Marlena buck her hips, began to move faster. Her legs locked around his waist and she dug her heels into his ass, wanting him as deep as possible.

Marlena’s muscles began to clench around John as the two of them felt themselves falling further. She met him thrust for thrust. As their paces grew even faster Marlena’s moans became even louder.

“I love you,” Marlena thought she heard. It was barely a whisper, maybe she imagined it. Maybe it was really a grunt that she misheard. Pulling her arms from around his back, she grasped John’s face within her hands and peered into his eyes.

Looking deep into her eyes, it was as if John could see into her soul. This urged him on some more. Picking up the speed he thrust into her at such an intensity that — mixed with her facial expressions as she moaned and tried to keep her eyes open and on him — he thought he would nut right then and there.

“Just let it go…” he groaned.

Hearing John’s words Marlena clenched her fingers into John’s back and threw her head back. She let out a scream of pleasure as her orgasm hit. Watching her, John himself went over the edge. He burst into Marlena, pouring out his seed as he buried his head into her neck, kissing her furiously. They rode the waves together until they came crashing back down.

John remained where he was, snug inside of Marlena, as he half lay on top of her. They panted, trying to catch their breaths, as they remained twined within each other. Reluctantly John moved out of Marlena’s grasp and pulled the covers over them. Marlena turned around and kissed John before burying her head into the pillow.

“Wow,” John whispered and kissed Marlena’s head.

“Yeah,” she said faintly, sleep signaling its approaching arrival. In no time she was fast asleep.

Laying on his side with his right hand holding his head up John observed her as she let out the tiniest of breaths. “I never thought I would feel this way about anyone,” he whispered to her sleeping silhouette. He kissed her shoulder. “I love you,” he whispered. Maybe one day he would bring himself to tell her.

John rolled over in bed beside her and wrapped his arm around her expanded stomach. He pulled her naked body flush against him, his body spooning hers. His bare chest was pressed up against her bare back. Her soft, silky skin was covered in his milky skin’s grasp. One arm lay possessively wrapped around her while he nuzzled his head into her neck. One leg rested lazily across hers, his feet rubbing softly against hers. He breathed in her unique essence as he stayed as close to her as was possible. He sighed contentedly while breathing deeply.

Marlena sighed in her sleep as even subconsciously she could feel her body lying in John’s hold. She relished feeling so close to him again. He was breathing softly onto her neck and she shivered at the feeling. She pushed back into him slightly so that there was no space remaining between them. They were so close that even air could not penetrate them. She could smell his exclusive fragrance and snuggled further into him. She felt complacent as she breathed softly.

Feeling her nestle further into him, John slowly stirred from a peaceful sleep. He looked down and saw her burrowed in his arms. A small tingly feeling ran down his spine. Every time he looked at her, her beauty entranced him. She was the most caring and loving person he had ever known. And to make things even more perfect she was having his baby.

Surprising even to himself, but his feelings for her had changed. He never thought he’d be feeling the way he was towards her again, but here they were. There was nobody else who could make him feel the way she did.

He watched her breathe evenly, her chest rising gently. She seemed so appeased as she lay encased within him. So at ease with life and the wonderful things it had brought her. He watched her angelic face glowing in the moonlight that streamed in through the small space in the curtains.

Not being able to resist her, John dipped his head to where it previously lay and pressed a wet kiss on her bare neck. He then continued downwards and placed wet kisses down her neck before moving along her nude shoulder. He then trekked down to her back and kissed between her shoulder blades. There he pressed his lips more firmly against her skin and smiled as she shuddered under his touch. He kissed in a newly found northern route, moving her hair aside and kissed the back of her neck. She now moaned at his magic touch.

He continued north, kissing up her neck and latching himself onto her earlobe. He slowly sucked and bit down lightly. This elicited more moans from her, each movement making the noise increase. The way she was reacting was fast turning him on. Her moaning at his touch was like music to his ears.

Marlena slowly opened her eyes to feel him sucking, biting and caressing her. He had voyaged across her neck, shoulders and back before finding his way to her ear. He now had one arm still wrapped around her waist, keeping her close to his hardened length while the other was stroking her breasts. She let herself get lost in his touch and her moans were increasing. Noticing she was awake he flipped her over and looked at her straight in the eyes. His deep blue pools were so dark, the intensity blinding her. His unadulterated lust shone through. Her hazel eyes mirrored his, her own desire and undying love for him evident.

The next thing Marlena felt was John peppering kisses along her neck and moving lower, pulling the sheet down as he went. He then looked back up at her. “Good morning. How did you sleep?”

“Great, I always seem to sleep great when I am with you.”

“Oh me too. Me too,” he repeated. “Though I know something that can make this morning greater,” he said this as he ground his erection into her. That was all it took for them to be consumed with each other.

The sex was still amazing, just as it had been their very first time. Every time they kissed, every time they touched it was magical. Marlena knew she had to be careful though, as she was feeling herself falling deeper in love with him already. It was scary. If she were to ever get her heart broken by him again, she didn’t know if she’d recover.

Marlena woke up once again later that morning and looked towards John. They had hardly moved from their original position. John looked so peaceful and content. The sun was peeking in, illuminating his handsome features. As if he could feel her gaze on him, he gently lifted his heavy eyelids. She met his striking blue eyes as he smiled down at her.

“Good morning,” she greeted for the second time, with a kiss.

“I could wake up every morning like that,” John said once the kiss had ended.

“Don’t count on it,” Marlena teased as John watched her.

“You’re beautiful,” he stated, moving a strand of hair from her forehead.

“So I’ve been told,” Marlena said rolling her eyes.

“You know, you’ve been getting very cocky lately. I’m thinking I’ll have to do something about it,” John said, rolling on top of Marlena and pinning her beneath him.

“Oh yeah, what are going to do about it?” She asked playfully.

“I’m going to set you straight,” he said and kissed her.

John began to run his hands down Marlena’s sides while kissing her hotly. She ran her hands through John’s hair, locking her long legs around his waist, trapping him. The faint stirrings of lust were once again making themselves known as their temperatures soared.

Marlena could feel John’s hardened erection pressing against her. Continuing to kiss him, Marlena shifted her hips up against his length until his stiff member came into contact with her wet folds, causing him to moan into her mouth.

Cupping her hips in his palms, John suddenly stopped her movements and broke the kiss.

“John?” Marlena asked in a confused daze of lust and passion.

“Turn around,” he demanded.

Biting her bottom lip, Marlena smirked. “Yeah?” She unlatched her legs from him and quickly did as she was told.

With his hands still palming her hips John guided her in the way he wanted. When she was bent down on all fours in front of him, he smacked her ass, loving the sound it made. Marlena moaned and stuck her ass out some more. Smiling, John repeated the smack before grabbing hold of his stiff erection. He rubbed the hard length up and down her wet lips, loving the warmth he found there.

John closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her enveloping him as he entered slowly, inch by inch. He started off slow and steady to get her used to the position before gradually picking up his pace as she began to move backwards, meeting his thrusts, causing him to go in deeper.

“Oh fuck,” he grunted as he thrust in slightly deeper. She moaned in response trying to catch her breath, and only spoke after a good few minutes of him continuously thrusting inside her at a steady pace.

“Oh John! Right there,” she moaned, closing her eyes, the only feeling in her body, them being pure bliss and pleasure. “Fuck, harder,” panted a breathless Marlena, which he was more than happy to oblige with a low growl.

A few moments later the heat in the room had increasingly picked up, sweat was forming on their bodies from the speed they were going at it. The bed was making a soft thudding noise against the wall each time he thrust into her, she moaned his name loud as she felt that familiar feeling build up inside of her and her walls tightened around him letting him know she was near as was he.

“Yes. YES! Like that,” cried Marlena as John rammed himself from behind her, all the while continuing to thrust back and meeting him thrust for thrust.

Giving Marlena’s ass a few slaps as he plowed her pussy, John was awarded with a few moans as she arched her back from the pleasure.

“Oh, I like that,” moaned Marlena, making John smile at her words.

He continued to fuck her at high speed, grunting here and there. Marlena merely hung her head as her moans grew into screams and her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

With another slap of her ass, John picked up his speed, ready to fire his load into Marlena’s warm pussy. “Come for me,” he grunted, and she could barely nod. He leaned over her back, began to nip on her shoulder blade also kneading her breast, and with a few more thrusts she felt him burst causing her to orgasm at the same time all over him, moaning his name.

After a few more thrusts and dumping his seed into Marlena, John pulled out of her with Marlena throwing herself onto her side as she breathed a sigh of content and satisfaction, trying to catch her breath.

***

Later that night, once John and Marlena finally ended their extracurricular activities, Marlena was on the couch, a bowl of her favorite ice cream perched on top of her belly while she watched television. “Hey!” she said, lifting the bowl off of her stomach as it once again almost toppled to her lap. “I thought we had an agreement. I let you stay for nine months and you let me eat in peace,” she spoke to her son.

Behind her, she heard a chuckle but despite her best movements, she couldn’t turn in its direction. She assumed the owner of said chuckle was John anyway. He was the only one home besides her.

Rounding the couch, John moved to sit beside her. “What are you watching?” he asked, kicking his feet onto the coffee table beside her.

Marlena placed the bowl back on her stomach and shrugged softly. “The Bachelorreruns.”

“I didn’t think you would be into that kind of show,” he replied back, turning his head toward the TV. He got into the episode somewhat, though, and as the rose ceremony progressed to the end and the episode ended, he heard quiet sniffling beside him and rose an eyebrow. It took him a moment, but he glanced over at Marlena whose ice cream was now gone and eyes were redder than the pajama top she was wearing.

“It’s just so sad!” she sobbed, scooping up the liquid remains of her ice cream and shoving the spoon into her mouth. She slammed the spoon back into the bowl. “These girls loved him so much and he’s just… he used them for entertainment purposes!” She glanced over at him, trying to get him to understand. “He doesn’t love any of them. He deserves to be the one lonely at the end of all of this, not them!” She cried harder and John moved to comfort her, but she just handed him her bowl. “I hate men,” she said, wiping her eyes. “Especially you.”

“What did I do?” he asked, reverting to defensive mode as he placed the bowl down on his lap. It was still cold, but he ignored it.

“What haven’t you done?” She threw her hands up at him. “First you get me pregnant and then get me this fucking ice cream.” She pointed at the bowl, growling.

John looked at her, perplexed. “Isn’t this your favorite?”

“It is!” She cried and he stared longer, not sure what the problem was. “You’re not supposed to encourage me to eat it, though!”

“Okay,” he told her, nodding like he understood, but that just tipped her off more.

She growled and turned back to the TV, intent on ignoring him. John took this as a sign and left her to vent on her own, taking her bowl into the kitchen and washing it out before he dropped it and the spoon into the dishwasher.

After a few minutes, he returned back to the couch. Marlena was staring at the blank screen, pursing her lips outward. “Are we ready for this?” she asked suddenly, causing his face to contort in confusion.

“Ready for what?” he asked stupidly. Or at least she thought so.

“This baby!” she cried, on the verge of tears again. “We don’t have a car seat for him, at least I don’t!” She choked again, turning away from him as she began to try and collect herself. “We don’t even have a name for him yet!”

John licked his lips as he tried to think of where to start with the conversation. “The room I have for him is all set to go. The only thing missing is the baby,” he told her calmly, watching as she eased back into her seat and wiped her eyes again. “There’s a car seat in his room. I’ll show you it tomorrow.”

“But the name…” she trailed off softly. “Our baby doesn’t even have a name. He’s going to come out thinking his name is Baby.”

John took in her words, settling into the corner of the couch as he glanced at her. “I thought we already went through this.”

Marlena rubbed her hand over the expanse of her stomach. “I suppose we did,” she said softly. “I kind of liked the ones we narrowed down.”

“Spencer,” he said, thinking of one of the two names they had to choose from. He tossed the name around in his head as he sat there. “I like it.” He agreed, nodding his head. “That’s an option.”

“He liked it too,” she told him with a small smile on her face. She rubbed her stomach as she spoke. John smiled back at her, placing a hand over top of her stomach. Marlena placed her hand on top of his and squeezed lightly. “So I think that’s a choice, not an option.”

It was hard to argue with that logic, so he didn’t. “So not Noah, then?” he said pensively, catching the smile that crossed her face. “What?”

Marlena glanced over at him. “I’m not getting anything from him,” she told him softly, rubbing her hand in circular motion over her stretched skin.

“Nothing,” he snorted, amused by his son. “Alrighty then. Spencer Elliot.” The baby kicked against his palm and he laughed softly. “I think that’s the deciding vote,” he murmured softly.

The duo settled into a comfortable silence and she closed her eyes, stifling a yawn. Suddenly, she was so very tired. “What are we doing?” she asked.

“Now?” John raised his eyebrow. “We’re sitting here relaxing. Are you feeling alright?”

“No…us. What are we doing?” she repeated, gazing out at the starry sky from the French doors of the terrace.

John thought for a moment, breathing evenly. “I think we’re just…working on putting our family together,” he looked at her and she turned to look at him as well.

She didn’t know what to say as she looked at him. He was probably just as confused as she was, she thought. “I think it’s time for bed,” Marlena eventually declared, moving to place her feet on the ground. “Not that I get that much sleep lately,” she sighed, shaking her head. She pushed with her legs, but John was quickly at her side, helping her to her feet. She glared at him but said nothing as she moved toward the stairs and began ascending them. “John,” she sighed as she stopped and turned her head back at him. “You don’t have to watch me, I’m fine.”

“Any excuse to stare at your ass,” he tossed back teasingly, and she rolled her eyes, laughing as she moved up the stairs.

“Goodnight, John!” She called once she was at the top of the stairs.

“Goodnight,” he said it quietly, staring at the empty stairs for a moment before he turned and began to shut it down for the night, locking up and setting the alarm before he left and headed home.

“No peeking.”

Marlena sighed, not liking this situation from the very start. John had been acting funny the past couple of days or so, always on the phone and talking with someone, with whom she had no idea, but it made her nervous. Add a blindfold and an overly giddy John Black into the mix meant her nerves were bouncing off the walls. She had no idea what was going on or what was going to happen, she didn’t like it.

“This is ridiculous,” she groaned, stopping short and causing John to run into her back. “I am not going to be dragged around to…who knows where with this blindfold on! I’m done playing. Take it off.”

“No can do. You’ve gotta keep it on.”

Marlena huffed a breath and took matters into her own hands, reaching up to take the restriction off, but just before she could John’s hands were there to stop her.

“Come on, Marlena. Live a little. Please? We’re almost there.” They were standing about ten feet away from the front door. “I promise I’ll take the blindfold off as soon as we get there, okay?”

Nodding her head in defeat, she let him lead her the rest of the way. They made it to the front door, John hoping and praying that everyone was prepared and ready to go. Placing a hand on the handle, he opened the door and led Marlena inside. “We’re here.”

She turned her head toward the direction of his voice. “Now may I take this stupid thing off?”

John nodded, but then remembered she couldn’t see anything. “Yes, you may,” he said.

Reaching up, Marlena loosened the bandana and removed it from her eyes. As soon as she did her jaw dropped. She definitely wasn’t expecting this.

“Surprise!”

Frank and Martha Evans, her twin sister Samantha, Laura, Abe and Lexie, Bo and Hope, Roman, Steve, John’s parents and grand-parents, the Hortons and the Bradys were all standing in the middle of John’s living room. A large, colorful banner, which read “Congratulations!”hung from the high rise ceiling, along with a variety of baby themed decorations that were scattered all around the house.

Standing in the sunken entrance, Marlena glanced around, amazed.

There were blue and silver balloons tied to the railings at the foot of the stairs. There were also streamers hanging around the doorway and more streamers hanging from the ceiling in the living room. Balloons in the shape of bottles and rattles were scattered about.

“Wow,” Marlena muttered.

Everyone smiled brightly as they swept in for hugs and offers of congratulations. It was all so overwhelming. Marlena was speechless, only being able to give everyone smiles as she tried to take it all in. She couldn’t believe it.

John watched from a distance as she was swarmed by her friends and family, a huge grin on his lips. He caught her gaze, giving her a wink and a little wave. In return he received a huge grin, which made his heart burst. He knew he had done right with this surprise baby shower, the expression on Marlena’s face giving him the reassurance he needed. She wasn’t a big fan of surprises, but she definitely was of this one. He was sure of it.

“Nice work, man.”

Turning to the voice, he found Bo standing next to him. “Did you expect anything less from me?”

“Well, I was surprised you didn’t have a stork,” he joked, nudging him in the shoulder. John shot him a look. “But I guess it’s still a great baby shower.”

John gave a nod of thanks before the two men joined everyone in the living room. More hugs were given as everyone began to mingle and talk.

“Marley?”

Whipping around, Marlena grinned when she embraced her father in a fierce hug. “Hi, Dad. Thanks for coming. I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” Loosening his grip, he took in his daughter’s appearance. “You look absolutely radiant, sweetheart. So beautiful.”

A pink flush made its presence known on her cheeks. Shuffling her feet, hand on her belly as she gazed at her father. “So how long have you known about this surprise baby shower?”

Chuckling, he gave her a smile that reached his eyes. “I’d say about two weeks now. John told me he’s had this thing planned for a while. He called me a few times in the past week, asking me if what he had planned would be perfect for you.”

Marlena’s heart swelled at her father’s confession, amazed at how much John had done to make this party as magical and wonderful as possible. And he definitely succeeded. Secretly flying in her parents and her sister was even greater than the actual baby shower itself.

Frank glanced over to where everyone else was gathered, pointing over to where John was standing. He was chatting with Alice, a huge smile on his face. “He’s a good man. And I know he’ll make an incredible father.”

Following his gaze, her eyes landed on John as pride and love grew within her. She was happy as ever and it was all because of him and their child that was growing inside her stomach. They created a life together.

Unable to find the words she merely nodded; her emotions were getting the best of her.

“I have something — well, two something’s for you.” Frank walked over to the front door, picking up a paper bag from beside the closet before returning. “I wonder where your mother is,” he said aloud as he searched the room. Noticing her farther down the hall near the dining room he waved to her, grabbed hold of Marlena’s hand and walked her to her mother.

Martha was talking with Katherine Black, who was busy making more punch. “Hi darling,” Katherine greeted, smiling as Martha hugged her daughter.

Once in the kitchen you could see even more decorations. The dining room table was no longer visible. There was a pacifier tablecloth with a whole bunch of goodie bags on top. There were teddy bear centerpieces on the counter. The banquette seating area in the middle of the island was also covered with various displays of food.

“It’s so good to see you both!” Marlena said wholeheartedly. ”What’s going on in here?”

“Oh, just two soon to be grandmothers catching up,” Martha said with a wink. “Oh, you want to do that now?” she asked when she saw the bag in her husband’s hand.

Frank nodded to his wife. “I’m sure John would want me to wait to give this to you when it’s time for gifts, but we’re giving it to you now.”

Taking the gift from his hands, Marlena began to take the colorful tissue paper out and gasped when she saw what lay beneath. Tears began to well in her eyes, one falling down her cheek.

“I put this together right after you were born. It’s your baby book,” said Martha with tears logged in her own throat.

Running a hand over the front cover of the white book, Marlena let the tears fall freely. Written in cursive was her name and date of birth. With a shaking hand, she opened the book and smiled when she recognized her mother’s neat scrawl on the inside cover.

To my dearest Marlena,

In this book holds the many magical, incredible, and most cherished moments of your first year. Through the trials of three am wake up calls to changing dirty diapers to midnight feedings, and everything in between, your father and I have been so blessed to have you in our lives.

Holding you and your sister in my arms for the first time was an experience that I will never forget. The amount of love I had felt for you girls, these tiny little babies, was overwhelming. And I knew that as long as I was alive you would know how much I love you.

And I can only hope that, when you’re older, you’ll be able to experience these special moments with your own child.

I love you so much, sweetheart.

All my love, Mommy.

Wiping away the tears, she shot her parents a small smile, trying to get her emotions under control. When her dad had given her the gift this was not what she was expecting. Today had been full of surprises and she was sure there were more to come. “I…I don’t know what to say,” she mumbled, sniffling. “This is…amazing.”

“We also wanted you to have this,” reaching in the bag, Frank produced an identical book, “this is for your baby.”

More tears dropped as she stared down at the book in his hands. This book was for her and for her child.

Marlena pulled her parents into a hug, arms wrapped tightly around their shoulders while she cried silently. They held onto her, a few of Martha’s own tears sliding down her cheeks.

“I love you both so much.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Martha murmured. “We love you, too.”

They eventually pulled apart, Marlena and her mom both chuckling as they wiped away the tears.

Frank kissed her on the forehead. “No more tears, okay?” Marlena nodded. “Now go enjoy your baby shower.”

Bringing him in for another hug, she pecked him on the cheek. “Thank you so much. For everything.” She then did the same to her mother.

Later, the women surrounded around Marlena as she sat on the couch opposite the entrance, asking her question after question, their curiosity a tad overwhelming. And she did her best to answer them all.

“Do you have a name yet?” Lexie asked, taking a seat beside her friend.

“We do actually,” Marlena admitted, taking the offered glass of punch from Bo. “Thank you…But we want it to be a surprise.”

Her words brought a gathered “aww” from all of the women.

“Well, I for one was all for telling you all what his name will be,” John stated as he stood above Caroline at the back of the second sofa. “But someone,” he looked sideways to Marlena, “thought otherwise. Isn’t that right?”

Now, all eyes were on the expecting mother-to-be, curious as to what she was going to say. The room went quiet.

She smiled, ducking her head down into her chest as her bottom lip found its way between her teeth. Looking up, she placed a delicate hand on her belly. “Uh- yeah, I think I like the element of surprise.”

“You hate surprises,” John was quick to retort.

“I hate when surprises are meant for me,” she corrected, eyeing him, “this one’s for everyone else. The two of us have been going back and forth about it for a week now,” she explained to the guests, “but we finally managed to find a common ground. We picked the perfect name for him, I know without a single doubt in my mind,” she confidently said.

“It is perfect,” agreed John, “which is why I didn’t want to wait to tell you all. But as I have no uterus, my opinion doesn’t matter. So I just follow her lead.”

“Good man,” Tom said.

“He’s good,” Marlena agreed. “He’s already realized that you don’t argue with a pregnant woman. She’s always right.”

“She’s got you there,” John’s dad said.

Snickers were heard all around as they all watched in fascination as two did their usual banter. Phillip gave John a pat on the back in comfort, trying to hold in his laughter. Laura winked at her best friend, giving her a small encouraging high-five.

He looked around the room. “You all think so? Is she always right and I’m always wrong?”

A collective “yeah” and nodding heads were his responses.

Taking a step back, he feigned a hurt look before placing a hand over his heart. “I invite you into my home and this is how I’m treated…I am ashamed of you all.”

With a roll of her eyes, Marlena carefully stood up and waddled over to John, taking his hands in her own. Running a thumb over his palm, she locked eyes with him. “We’re just poking fun at you. You know that. And thank you for the wonderful party.”

***

Marlena laughed and found herself chanting “Chug! Chug! Chug!” along with the rest of the women. The object of the game was for the participants to drink as much milk out of a baby bottle in the allotted time. Whoever drank the most in the end wins. Laura had devised a whole bunch of games, and Marlena had to admit that she was having a blast so far. She’d been overwhelmed at first but in the end, Marlena saw that John — with the help of her parents and Laura — had really outdone himself in a good way.

The house looked like a baby wonderland, and all of the food had been delicious. Most of all, Marlena was happy to share this special time in her life with all of her closest family and friends. Her childhood best friend, Jane, had flown in from Colorado and her cousin Trista from Washington. Her mother and father had flown in. And then there was Sam. She’d also been flown in by John to celebrate. It was a great reunion after all their time spent apart.

“Time!” Laura called. “Hold up your bottles, ladies, so we can see who the winner is.”
Marlena watched as Laura walked along, surveying each baby bottle. Finally, she stopped in front of Sam.

“We have a winner,” she announced. Laura handed Sam one of the prizes. “Good work, Auntie Sam.”

“I knew all of those keg stands I did in college would come in handy one day,” Sam joked and held up her prize in victory, causing everyone to laugh.

“What’s next?”

A huge smile lit up Laura’s face. “Oh, you ladies are gonna love this one. Or maybe not. Nevertheless, it’ll be interesting.” Laura nodded to Hope.

The brunette walked into the kitchen and grabbed a tray. On it were plates covered with silver lids.

“No more food,” Marlena said. “I’m stuffed.”

“It’s not a meal, but you will have to sort of eat. What you and the others are going to do is try to determine the type of candy that is on each of these plates.”

Marlena frowned. “That’s it?”

Laura’s smile turned into a mischievous smirk. Even Hope was laughing under her breath.
“Lift the lid, officer.”

Hope did just as Laura instructed. She lifted one of the lids to reveal a diaper on a plate. Marlena and the others all stared in confusion.

“What the heck?” Sam muttered.

Laura unfolded the diaper and revealed a brown blob inside.

Jane put her hand to her mouth. “Oh my God, that is disgusting!”

“Ew,” Trista said with her nosed scrunched.

“Is that real?” Marlena questioned.

“Will you all relax? It’s not what you think it is. This brown stuff is the melted candy. You have to lick it in order to identify it. The diaper is to go along with the whole baby shower theme. Pretty clever, huh?”

“I don’t think I can lick that,” Marlena said. Just the sight of it made her want to gag.

“The person who identifies the most candies correctly wins,” Hope informed them.

“I’m going to pass,” Martha announced. “I’m on a strict no diaper-chocolate diet.”

“Can’t we play another game?” Katherine suggested.

“I like that idea,” Marlena spoke up.

“It’s either this or we wrap string around your stomach to see how big it is,” Laura replied. “Or we could always skip that and just guess your weight.”

Marlena held out her hand. “Give me the diaper.”

***

“Oh, it’s so adorable.” Marlena held up the baby outfit for everyone to see. “Thank you so much, Jane.”

They’d stopped playing games about a half hour ago and the men came back up so that Marlena could open her presents. She’d gotten so many cute baby outfits and toys. Her mother had even given Marlena a blanket she knitted especially for the baby. She was going to bring it to the hospital to use when he was born.

“You’re welcome. Gosh, I can’t believe you’re having a baby,” Jane said. “It seems like just yesterday that we were hanging out at Linda’s Pancake House and whispering about boys we thought were cute.”

“Those were the days,” Marlena agreed, smiling as the warm memories flooded her.

“Which reminds me,” Martha interjected. She held a card out to Marlena. “Linda wanted me to give this to you. She felt bad that she couldn’t make it.”

Linda had been her mother’s best friend growing up, and they were still close. She was like a second mother to Marlena. She’d given Marlena her first job as a teenager. Marlena opened the card and read the note inside that Linda had written her. It was so sweet, and Marlena found her eyes watering. Linda had also given her a gift certificate to a toy store. “That was so nice of her. I’ll have to call her.”

Laura patted her hand. “My gift next…Last but not least,” she said, practically bursting out of her seat. She grabbed an armful of gifts.

“Laura, how many things did you get me?”

“I couldn’t decide so I got you everything. And I don’t want to hear that I shouldn’t have. So be quiet and just open them,” she ordered.

Knowing better than to argue, Marlena did as Laura said. She opened the largest gift first and saw that it was a tote-bag filled with goodies.

“It’s everything you’ll need for when you go into labor. There are cozy socks and slippers, a USB with soothing music that you can transfer onto your phone, your favorite gum, deodorant, and most importantly a makeup kit.”

“This is great, Laura, but I don’t know if I’ll have much use for makeup,” Marlena teased.

“You’ll want to look your best for the pictures. Trust me.”

The women burst into laughter.

Marlena shrugged and accepted her explanation. She moved on to the next gift and opened the small box. Inside was a bracelet. A silver plated, simple and plain, bracelet.

Pulling out a little card, Laura told Marlena, “I left it blank because I didn’t know the name, but this is what it will look like.” On the card was the picture of how the bracelet was supposed to be, with beads spelling out a name.

“Laura, this is beautiful.”

“It’s a mommy bracelet.”

“I love it.” Marlena pulled her in for a hug as the others looked at the gift in appreciation.

“You’ve still got one more,” Laura reminded, pointing to the other gift she had gotten her.

Marlena opened the last gift. She reached into the bag and pulled out a lacy black nightie.

“Um, Laura …” Marlena didn’t know what to make of it.

The others frowned, too.

“That’s a little something for you and John post-labor,” she said with a wink.

Marlena’s whole face instantly turned red as the others giggled and wriggled their eyebrows at the innuendo.

“Laura,” Marlena scolded, quickly putting the nightie back in the bag, embarrassed with the men having witnessed that, especially her dad, Phillip, Tom, and Shawn.

“What? When you get your pre-baby bod back and John can’t keep his hands off of you, you’ll be thanking me.” When that didn’t work she added, “Don’t play stupid. You two made a baby, everyone knows you’re having sex.”

Marlena quickly took a large sip of her water. The others continued to joke around and laugh.

Bo patted John on the back and said, “A baby shower and you even got a gift for yourself out of it.”

Abe laughed. “Lucky man.”

John stood there, trying to hide his grin as he saw how embarrassed Marlena was. Sure their situation — or relationship — was a little unconventional and left some guessing, but John was amused.

A little while later, they played a few more baby shower games and gave out prizes.
“Laura,” Marlena said when she managed to get her friend alone for a minute, “I just want to thank you for everything. This baby shower is just amazing, and I know how hard you worked on it.”

“It was all John.”

“I know the games were all you.”

Laura shrugged like it was nothing. “I had to make sure you had the best, and let’s face it…Men know shit in this department.”

“There was also something else that I wanted to ask you.”

“What is it?”

Marlena smiled and said, “John and I were wondering if you’d like to be the baby’s godmother.”

Laura’s entire face lit up. “Oh my God, really?”

“Yes. Of course. You’re my best friend, Laura. And I know that you’ll be there for my son as much as you’ve been there for me.”

“Oh, of course I will,” Laura replied. “I’m going to be the best godmother ever! I promise.”

“That’s why we chose you. You’re a great friend, Laura.”

The women hugged each other tightly, tearing up.

“You’re going to really think so in a few minutes,” Laura whispered.

“Why is that?”

“Let’s just say that I rigged the next game so you’d win.”

“Why did you do that?” Marlena questioned.

“Because the prize is a spa package.”

“I love you.”

Laura smiled widely. “I know.”

***

“Oh my gosh, Alice. This is adorable!” Marlena gushed later in the afternoon once the cake and drinks had been polished off as she held up the little onesie Alice and Tom had given her; it was navy blue and had the medical symbol on the front. “Thank you.”

“I have a feeling this little boy will have his mother’s smarts and follow in her footsteps,” Tom said, watching Marlena as she ran her fingers over the soft fabric. “No offense to the business and fashion industry John,” he snickered, “but I may be biased to medicine.”

Alice let out a laugh. “You think?”

“No offense taken, Dr. Horton. Out of the two of us I know Marlena’s got the brains.”

As the shower went on, John and Marlena had received so many generous and thoughtful gifts from their friends and family. They had gotten a diaper genie and enough diapers to last them for weeks; along with the diapers they were given stuffed animals, a Giraffe from Trista and an Elephant from Bo and Hope; piles and piles of baby clothes from Martha and Katherine; and it went on and on.

John watched as Marlena stood up to thank everyone as they prepared to leave, giving them all hugs of gratitude.

This baby shower had gone off without a hitch. And now it was just a matter of counting down to the delivery day!

***

They were sitting on the couch with everything piled around them, looking over every item gifted to them. John looked over the gifts and picked up one in particular. “I like this gift.” It was the black nightie from Laura.

“Of course you do.” She snatched the tiny garment from his hands. “But who says you’re even going to see it?”

“Um, I believe it was a gift for the both of us.” John took it back from her hands and looked it over appreciatively, just imagining how it would look on her.

“It was meant for later on anyways,” she dismissed.

“I’m fine with waiting as long as you make it worth my while.”

It was with a heavy sigh that Marlena let go of the onesie she was holding and turned her full attention to John. “Who even knows where we’ll be months from now when that happens? We can’t keep doing this,” she motioned her hands between the two of them, “forever.”

“Why not?” John asked nonchalantly.

“You’re okay with doing what we’re doing for the rest of your life? You want to keep having sex whenever it’s convenient? Don’t you want more than that?” She looked at him, hopeful, before starting again. “Life isn’t meant to be lived this way. I want to be with someone who loves me and have a real family. I don’t want to play games my whole life,” Marlena stressed. “I want to grow, I want to settle down, have a house with the white picket fence, grow old with a husband and watch our grandchildren grow up. I want to come home to someone, someone who will be there for me always.”

With a blink John cleared his throat. “Okay, I think we derailed a little. Let’s get back to the subject at hand; the negligee. I want to see you in it,” said John, earning a scowl from Marlena.

Marlena just wanted to pull his hair out. She just poured her heart out and there he was, ignoring it all and only wanting the sex. That’s all he ever wanted from her. Just great sex.

Before she had a chance to say anything, quickly John added, “I mean you obviously cant put it on now, it won’t fit, so you’ll have to model it for me after the baby is born seeing as it is partly my gift.”

One of Marlena’s eyebrows began to twitch, irritation starting to show through. “Did you just call me fat?”

“No! Of course not. I just meant…I said…so, what else did you get?” John asked, changing the subject. Marlena was very sensitive about her weight, and he didn’t want to upset her. Her hormones were wacky enough as it was.

“Nice save,” she muttered sarcastically, pulling another bag on top of her lap and taking out the things she had stashed in there earlier in the afternoon. “Aren’t they cute?” Marlena eventually asked, showing John the various gifts she’d gotten at her shower.

“I like the shirt with the baseball on it.”

Marlena rolled her eyes. “You would.”

John reached between them to the baby monitor they received from someone, he couldn’t remember who. Absentmindedly he read the description on the box. “So what else?”

“Nothing, I showed you everything.”

“I wouldn’t mind seeing that negligee again,” he said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“Since I’m a cow at the moment, what’s the point?” Marlena replied, feeling satisfied at making John squirm.

“You’re beautiful,” he said without a doubt.

When the time hit, Marlena knew it. It wasn’t a progressive feeling of deep turmoil and longing for the end. No, when it came time to remove herself from work and start kicking back, she knew more than anything else. A couple of days ago, she’d woken up with a blistering headache that engulfed her mind in flames. Her back throbbed with each incoming second and her irritation for pregnancy had hit an all-time high. A day shy of thirty-five weeks at the time, Marlena walked into Dr. Winthrop’s office and requested that she be put on maternity leave as soon as was possible.

So that left her with approximately five weeks left to go with her pregnancy – five weeks to get everything ready, get a car seat and add the finishing touches to the nursery.

That morning, Marlena awoke to a tightening in her abdomen. It wasn’t too painful, but there was a strengthening measure of discomfort. “Mmf..” she moaned softly, trying to kneed out the cramp in her belly with the palm of her hand. At 35 weeks pregnant, Marlena was the epitome of uncomfortable. Aside from some nausea and fatigue, Marlena had glided pretty smoothly into her third trimester. However, once month seven rolled in, pregnancy reared its ugly head. Her ankles and feet swelled up painfully, and her backaches were near constant. Her belly was stretched to its max, and she was carrying it all in front of her, which put even more strain on her sensitive back.

John was the constant massage giver, rubbing her gingerly every chance he could. Rarely did he see her now-a-days without one or both hands bracing the small of her lower back, trying to relieve the pressure. He couldn’t blame her. While head on it was difficult to tell, Marlena’s side profile told a different story. She was huge, and he couldn’t deny it. Her belly stuck out near to a point she could barely wrap her arms around.

Palming the bare skin of her lower belly with pressure, Marlena breathed out slowly; the pain was subsiding. She remembered coming downstairs earlier in the morning before the sun had completely risen. A book lay discarded on her belly, still open. She was surprised to notice how late it was. Her sleep was getting sporadic at night, trying to find a position that she could stay in for an extended amount of time was hard.

A few nights ago, she had slept most of the night in the rocking chair in the nursery. That ability to have those precious hours of sleep were so important to Marlena. Everyone had been telling her that sleep was precious, unfortunately, it was evading her. It was very much a struggle for her. And people kept telling her to “get all the sleep you can”; what a load of bullshit. Every position was uncomfortable, and it wasn’t like she could stockpile the sleep for when the baby arrived.

And last night had been particularly rough on her, no matter what she did she wasn’t able to get comfortable. She had been feeling incredibly large for weeks and with what was only realistically a few weeks left to go, she was feeling enormous. Being of a smaller frame than others, the extra weight and belly had taken its toll. It had been hard trying to settle into bed last night and there was no comfortable position with the belly. It was one of the worst night’s sleep Marlena had, or hadn’t had…

She had been completely miserable, an hour or so here and there during the night and getting up to use the restroom when she finally felt comfortable in bed. Her entire stomach had felt like something was pressing down on it and she had struggled to catch her breath a few times. Upon feeling like she was ready to throw up, she had given in and called John only for it to go to voicemail. He must have fallen asleep without his phone nearby.

It wasn’t until the third trip to the bathroom, with the pressure and painful sensations that Marlena decided to try something — anything — to relieve the discomfort. So she had taken a cold glass of water into the nursery and paced the halls for a short while to ease the discomfort that she was feeling.

All she wanted to do was lie on her back and just fall asleep, was it too much to ask? Not only had she read that it was dangerous to sleep on her back and everyone would remind her of this, she just couldn’t physically do it. Every time she was on her back, it felt like she was going to suffocate. She just couldn’t take a deep breath; well she couldn’t really breathe well at all. Like her lungs were being compressed. So really, the only way she could sleep was on her side, left side especially. And she was tired of sleeping on her left side.

Around 4 am she had given up even trying to sleep. It had been a bit of a vicious cycle with the tossing around and with the constant need to get out of bed and use the restroom again. It was during that time that she decided it would be much easier to just remove herself from the bed.

Sighing loudly, Marlena had placed a hand under her belly as she had rolled out of bed. Her son wasn’t too good if she stayed in one place for too long and the pelvic pain that she had experienced that morning was no different to any other morning recently. Marlena was just grateful that it was a fleeting pain that seemed to disappear soon after it started.

Which had led her to this point; sitting on the large plush sofa in the living room. Marlena stretched her legs out over the coffee table that was within reach, her hands smoothing her shirt, well actually one of John’s old shirts, over her belly.

Pointing her toes, Marlena slid the book off of her lap and tossed it gently onto the floor, not caring one little bit that she probably wouldn’t be able to get it up again. She knew that she would likely miss the coffee table in front of her. That belly was getting in the way in more ways than one. John was just going to have to pick it up for her. Actually, a thought suddenly struck her, it was quite late in the morning, honestly, it was pretty much lunch time. John should have called her hours ago.

Fishing her phone out from behind herself Marlena pressed the screen to light up her phone again, checking to see if there was any missed messages or phone calls. Her brow furrowed slightly when she noticed that there was nothing from John. Resting her head back against the back cushion she contemplated where she was.

Five weeks or so until the baby would hopefully make his entrance and life as she knew it would never be the same. Her life would dramatically change as would John’s. Their relationship would be changing too. And she couldn’t wait.

Finally, she felt ready and relaxed. Not quite as anxious as before. There was a calmness that had washed over Marlena and it was like she finally understood and just knew that she’d figure it out one day, one moment at a time and help will be there when she needed it. Maybe there was still a few anxieties about the birth; What if something goes wrong? What if everything goes wrong?

But Marlena was sure that this wasn’t any different to what any new mother was worried about. Things were right with the world. Baby was head down and ready to go based on the latest ultrasounds. No lie, Marlena definitely had been feeling a lot more pressure and back pain as a result. As she looked down, she was convinced that her bump had gotten HUGE.

Twisting slightly so she was able to push herself up and out of her seat, Marlena quickly fired off a text message to John to see where he was as she managed to get to her feet. After that she slid her phone in the pocket of her sweatpants and made her way to the master bathroom to shower. Few things eased her back pain like the hot water from her shower head and she was eager for that relief.

She stripped her clothing and underwear and stepped in front of her full-length mirror to inspect her changing form. Marlena’s petite frame carried her baby straight in front of her. Her tan orb of a belly was stretched to its max, and she had several marks to show for it. Her belly button stuck out to a point, as if to say, “all done!” Her aching breasts were swollen and getting bigger, as they sat properly atop her baby mound. Marlena took note of the color and size of her nipples – once rosy colored and small, they were now very dark and had doubled in size. She sighed and tried to shake the self-deprecating thoughts out of her head, and she waddled towards the shower.

With the water now running down her, Marlena didn’t notice the bathroom door open as John quietly snuck in. He ogled her naked form and quickly discarded his sweaty clothing, eager to join her in the steam. He swiftly walked into the shower area and slipped his arms around the back of Marlena’s body.

“How about a rub down?” he breathed into her ear, moving his arms up and down her sides in rough kneed.

Marlena jumped a little at the intrusion, but she laughed and turned around. Water streamed down their bodies. “What are you doing?”

John grinned down at her. “Sorry. I didn’t want to scare you. I just came from the gym. Thought I’d join you for a shower. Okay?”

Marlena smirked at him and reached over to the shelf, grabbing the shampoo. She pressed the bottle onto John’s sculpted chest. “Fine, then. Make yourself useful.” She took a step closer, pressing her body as closely as she could into his torso. She rested her hands on the small of her back, relieving some of the discomfort and closed her eyes.

John quickly obliged by shampooing and massaging her scalp. When he was done, she leaned her head back into the water and gave a relaxed sigh. John maintained the contact with her, pulling her body into his as she rinsed her hair.

“How are you feeling today?”

Marlena shrugged. “Just lots of back pain…The usual.”

John frowned. “Turn around.”

She obliged. John began his routine back massage, hoping to grant her some comfort.

“Mmm, lower, John,” she breathed, as his hands pressed firmly into her back. He moved lower. “Lower,” she requested, “hmf..lower”

“I’m on your ass.”

Marlena braced herself against the shower wall. “Well that’s where the pain is now,” she grunted. “Yeah, right there. Harder, please.”

John continued kneading into her tailbone. “That’s pretty low,” he said with a concerned tone. Marlena only nodded in agreement, releasing a relaxed hum.

The water continued running down softly as they shared a few moments of silence. John maintained applying pressure onto Marlena’s lower body as she peacefully leaned into the wall, enjoying his hands. He tabled his concern as they finished showering and toweling down; but he stopped her before she began dressing.

“Hold on,” he said softly. “I want to look at you.” His eyes trailed down to her protruding abdomen.

Marlena shot him a questioning look, but she dropped her bra and beckoned him over with her eyes. She watched him place his hands on her belly and press gently. She was grateful that they had known each other for so long – she was completely comfortable with him inspecting her naked body, even in its current shape.

“Does it hurt?” John asked, pressing into the soft portion of her upper belly.

“Mmm, not really,” she responded.

His hands trailed down to her lower belly. He pressed. “It’s so hard,” he lamented.

Marlena nodded and rubbed the lower region.

“No wonder your back is hurting,” John responded. “All this weight…you’ve been so amazing Marlena.” He rubbed her belly in wonder for a few more moments before her breasts caught his eye and he took a step away from her. “God damn. You’re really killing me.”

She chuckled and raised a brow.

“You’ve never looked sexier,” he explained, reaching for his clothes. “Like, seriously. Those things turn me on so much. It’s killing me not to touch them. Or you.”

The last couple of weeks Marlena had made it clear that sex was off the table, much to John’s dismay. She explained that she did not feel good about her appearance, even making reference to the cow comment from after the baby shower. John tried his best to reassure her, but she wouldn’t budge. Pregnancy being super uncomfortable was also another factor. I just can’t get in the mood when I’m so irritated and tired and uncomfortable,she had said.

“Ah,” Marlena laughed, tossing John her underwear. “Help?” she asked, changing the mood. She was unable to bend over to pull anything up.

He began sliding the black cotton panties up her legs. John cleared his throat, having to look away and think of anything besides her voluptuous naked body within inches from him. Next was the sweat pants she had picked out, loose and comfortable.

Marlena stood there, her top half naked, as she observed his every move. She had to bite back a smile at how obviously he was trying so hard not to ogle or get lost in her. “Thank you,” she breathed after he secured the pants around her by tying the string.

John stood up straight, eyes locked into hers. After a moment, he cleared his throat and tore his gaze away. “Got the rest?” He moved away from her and reached for the t-shirt she had set aside, extending it her way with his head turned in the other direction.

“Yeah,” she tried not to laugh.

“Good.” John did not turn back around until after Marlena was all covered up. “I uh…I have to get to the office,” he announced, leaving her in the bathroom alone.

Marlena stood leaning against the doorframe, brushing her wet locks as she smirked. “Are you going to be okay?” she yelled out, followed by a soft giggle.

**

“Mmm,” Marlena let out, satisfied by the ice-cold water running through her. Looking down at her bulge, she smiled. “My sweet baby boy, what are we going to do today?” she wondered aloud, reaching out to put the bottle of water on the counter without looking. She misjudged her distance to the counter as she let the bottle go, unfortunately missing the countertop and dropping the open bottle to the ground. “Shit,” she cursed herself, followed by a heavy sigh as she looked down at the mess. Reaching towards the corner, she was able to grab the roll of paper towel, ready to clean up.

As she was tearing the sheets she would need, Marlena heard her phone ringing from the living room. Automatically she sought out the phone, intent on cleaning the mess after. She smiled when she noticed it was an incoming FaceTime request from her mom.

“Hi, sweetheart,” a happy Martha greeted with a bright smile on the small screen.

“Hi mom. Is dad with you?”

“Oh no, he’s taking a nap right now.”

Marlena chuckled. “I’d need one of those myself.” Looking down, she made sure she was in the right spot before sinking down on the couch.

“How are you feeling?” Martha asked, noting the heavy sigh that just came from her daughter.

There was a mixture of exhaustion and irritation present in her voice as she said, “Very very pregnant.”

“Is that the only thing you’re ever feeling? Every time I ask you, it’s always the same answer.”

“I’m just more than ready for it to be over, mom. I’m so uncomfortable,” she complained, throwing her head back against the cushion.

Martha smiled from her end, more amused than she should be. She went through pregnancy, carried twins, she was even pregnant during the summer months; she knew all too well the feeling Marlena was referring to. “Honey, listen to me,” she started in a soothing tone. “It won’t be long now until you’re holding that baby in your arms and your entire universe shifts towards him. I know it will because mine did towards you and Sam on the day you first lived outside of my body.”

Marlena became a little chocked up. “Aww, mom.”

Martha winked. “It was a scary time, but there you girls were — all pink and perfect. Casting my eyes upon you in the flesh for the very first time was unbelievable.” It truly was. Even if she wanted to, there were no words that could describe that feeling. “And now you come to these last few weeks before having a child of your own. It will be the toughest job you’ll ever love. You will have the blessing and arduous job of raising someone’s husband and of course you’ll want to do a good job of that. It will be hard sometimes,” Martha explained. “You will be overwhelmed now and then, and you will have to make tough decisions.”

“Gee mom, are you trying to scare me?” Marlena half joked. That was some serious pressure.

Martha laughed from her end. “No, not at all. I’m just trying to prepare you for what’s ahead. You will discipline with a heavy heart, and at times you may even feel like your child hates you, but your love will never waver.”

Marlena let out a chuckle, knowing that her mom was speaking from experience. Marlena was a good kid, but sometimes it wasn’t always smooth sailing. Now that she was about to be a mom, Marlena could sympathize with her mother. Sitting there now she felt a pang of hurt, remembering the not so nice things she had uttered when she was younger.

“Being a mom is so incredibly powerful,” Martha continued passionately.  She was proud of the way she and Frank had raised their daughters and she had no doubt that her daughter would be an amazing and loving mother as well. “He will quiet at the sound of your voice and in the curve of your arm, he’ll suckle and you’ll sustain. He will need you like nobody has ever needed you. It’s overwhelming,” she admitted, “exhausting even, but totally worth every second.”

As the video chat continued, Frank eventually woke up from his nap and joined in on the conversation until someone rang on her parent’s doorbell. Martha excused herself and told Marlena that she forgot they were expecting company and that she would call again later.

Ending the call, Marlena’s thirst came back suddenly. She heaved herself up, her phone in one hand while the other hand held her protruding stomach in support. She made her way into the kitchen and into a cupboard for a glass.

As she rounded the corner of the kitchen island on her way to the refrigerator, she felt herself step onto something wet. Without even having time to react, Marlena slipped, falling to the ground. Thankfully she fell on her side. Had she had fallen on her belly the consequences could be worse.

The sudden shock caused her to freeze, almost paralyzed as the blood drained from her face, her heart began to race, and she began to shake. She was afraid to move, afraid to even breathe, in case she did anything to hurt the baby. She only allowed herself to breathe when she felt a kick in her ribs, her hand immediately going to that spot, the tightness in her chest loosening as she sent up silent prayers.

After allowing herself a minute to calm down, Marlena got on her knees and reached up to the counter for the paper towel that she had left aside when her mother called. She carefully cleaned up the mess, mindful not to make any sudden movements. When she finished, she reached for her cellphone that was thrown out of her hand when she fell, she got up on her feet slowly and carefully made it to the living room.

With one hand on her stomach, her other hand shakily dialed John at the office.

“John Black,” he answered happily.

“John, it’s me. I just..”

He could tell something was wrong instantly. “Is everything okay? Talk to me.”

There was a ball of emotions in her throat, preventing the words from coming out properly. “I…I just fell.”

“Are you okay? Is the baby okay? I’m on my way!”

“No!” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Honestly, I’m alright. The baby’s alright. I’m startled more than anything.”

“Would you like me to take you to the doctor?”

“Thank you, but no. Don’t leave work for this. It’s nothing. I know my body; I feel the baby fluttering around. We’re both fine.”

He looked at the first sonogram picture that was framed on his desk, worry etched across his face. “Marlena, are you sure? I’m worried. How bad was the fall?”

“I just slipped and fell on my side. John, trust me; if I feel like I need to see the doctor I will, but we’re both alright.”

“I’m coming over,” said John, starting to shut his computer down. “How did this happen? What are you doing right now?”

“Please don’t leave work,” she asked, “it’s nothing serious. I know how busy you are at the office; I wouldn’t want you to fall behind when you don’t have to. I’m in the living room now, I’m sitting, and I have my feet up. I’m comfortable.”

He sighed heavily, not liking the fact that he couldn’t help. “Fine. But I want you to promise me that you won’t overdo it until I stop by after work, okay? I mean it, I don’t want you to move unless you have to.”

Marlena nodded although he couldn’t see it. “Yes sir, I promise. I’m going to sit here and watch TV and hopefully take a snooze.”

“Okay…” John sighed once again. “Take care and call me the minute anything changes. I don’t want you to take any unnecessary risks.”

“I won’t. I’ll see you later, John.”

A half hour later, as she watched an older brunette lady open a capsule and spill its contents into another woman’s drink, Marlena couldn’t shake this feeling inside of her. She suddenly felt uneasy and useless, like there was nothing she could do to fix how she was feeling. Deciding to call John at work once again, she told him she thought she should go to the hospital.

John arrived in no time, having blown through some major orange traffic lights and every stop sign possible. Worry overtook his mind, throwing caution to the wind. Marlena met him down in the lobby as John barely put the car in park when he jumped out and ran to her. He helped her to walk to the car even though her walking was fine.Once they arrived at the hospital, they were ushered into triage, Marlena was strapped to the monitors, and they checked on the baby.

Four hours in a hospital room with monitors on her stomach and her, she was told that she hadn’t sustained too much damage, and the baby was fine. All the tracings were good. That was the great news, and she’d been so relieved to hear it. The emergency room doctor, funny enough, was Dr. Slater once again, the same doctor who treated her after the attack in the park.

The first thing he said when he walked into her room was how unlucky she seemed to be. This was his second time treating her for accidents during her pregnancy. After introducing himself to John, Dr. Slater told Marlena he was glad she wasn’t alone this time.

Marlena blushed and averted her eyes as John looked at her questioningly.

Next, the doctor had explained to her that falling down on her side had been much better than if she had fallen down on her abdomen, and he proceeded to explain what to look out for and to come back immediately if she experienced any of those.

The bad news? John had remained at her side the entire day. Normally she would welcome that. John was a lot of things: caring, kind and wonderful. However, she did not want his worry and anxiety to rub off on her and make her situation worse.

Sitting in the hospital wondering what was going to happen to her child was one thing, but having to deal with him was another thing altogether. Not that she didn’t appreciate the caring, it was just… she was petrified and having him in her ear, telling her all of the things she could have done in his irrational state made her feel worse than she already did.

Of course, as soon as the news of the baby’s health was in order he’d apologized profusely and even offered her a ride home. At first she had declined, but soon Marlena figured it was easier than taking a cab.

When they arrived back at the penthouse they learned that the building maintenance had shut down the elevator. John had refused to let her climb but after putting up a fight, Marlena won. She was walking up the stairs as carefully as possible – her bump was becoming her greatest enemy when it came to walking, especially not being able to see her feet. As apprehensive as John was, he had walked up those flights with her to test her, Marlena was sure.

Marlena practically crawled into her apartment, kicking her shoes off on the way inside. Her back hurt tremendously from the natural pain of her expanding stomach coupled with the nasty fall she’d taken earlier that day. John followed along like an obedient puppy, monitoring her moves and when she finally was propped up against a pillow, feet kicked up, he sat down beside her and sighed softly.

“Have you called into work and explained to them what happened?” he asked softly, always full of questions. Marlena’s irritation from the afternoon melted quickly, though. She knew he was only asking those questions because he genuinely cared for her health.

Running her hand over her forehead, she shook her head. In the past few days since she’d finally been put on maternity leave, she hadn’t kept up with him really. It’d only been a day or so since it happened, so she couldn’t exactly be blamed. “John,” she sighed softly. “I’m officially on maternity leave. I don’t have to tell work anything.”

He seemed slightly relieved at that idea, and rightfully so. With each day it became increasingly hard for her to get dressed and going to work for long days was exhausting her. But for once, he said nothing.

Marlena, however, saw right through him. She saw the gears in his mind shift around. In retrospect, when she noticed him thinking too much, she knew she should have stopped him then and there. And yet, she couldn’t stop the tumble of words that poured from his lips.
“I think you should move in with me.”

Blinking furiously, Marlena moved to sit up – though that itself was a task – and leaned forward in his direction. “You think what?” She asked him, cocking her eyebrow.

“Well, if today is any indication of what happens when I leave you alone –”

“John,” she sighed, rubbing her belly as their son began his daily acrobat class and an unknown uneasiness settled in. “That was an accident, I can’t see my feet.”

“And what about the elevator?” he tossed back quickly; his eyes lit up the way a child’s would if they were excited.

She bit down on her lip to fight the incoming smile as she thought about their son. She found herself hoping he would resemble John more than her.

“Your apartment has no deadline on when this elevator is going to be fixed,” he reminded her and she sighed, leaning back into her pillow. There was no need to be uncomfortable while he ranted. “Marlena, you’re thirty-five weeks pregnant, you shouldn’t have to climb up and down all those stairs whenever you need something.”

“Isn’t that what you’re for?” she said quickly, cocking an eyebrow. “I can just remain dormant in my apartment for the rest of my pregnancy and make you bring me stuff when I need it.” She shrugged, tossing the idea out there.

It was highly implausible, and they both knew it. Not that John was particularly against spending the next five weeks giving her undying attention, but because Marlena would rarely stay in the same place. She would become stir crazy before the end of the pregnancy.

“You know it’s not that,” he told her, and she nodded her head, shifting uncomfortably when the baby’s foot kicked in under her ribs. John held his breath for a moment and watched her, on high alert. “It’s only a few short weeks until the baby will be here, and especially when the time comes, it’ll be easier for the both of us.”

He had a point, she thought. In spite of the only ten-minute drive to her apartment from his home, if she were to go in labor in the middle of the night, it would be a lot more inconvenient for him to come all the way there and then double back to the hospital.

But was that really a reason to move in with him? What about the first few months after the baby was born? When she’d have to return to work, then what? The baby would be tossed between them. With daddy during the day and mommy during the night? Her head ached the more she thought about it.

“This isn’t about just you and me anymore, Marlena,” he told her, and he was so right.

From the moment she’d found out she was pregnant, everything they’d done and everything they would do was in the name of their son. She swallowed down her pride and ran her hand over her stomach. This could all blow up in their faces, they could become enemies but how did she know what was going to happen if she never gave it a chance?

“I don’t know,” she said softly, running her fingers through her hair. “I don’t think we’re ready for that.”

“This is my way of spending more time with you and the baby before he comes around,” he offered instead and she eyed him carefully as he shifted on the couch, angling his body more toward hers. “This is my way of getting closer to you.”

She chewed the inside of her cheek, struggling with a decision. She really wanted to say yes because she had always wanted to live under the same roof as him, but it wasn’t that simple. “You and I are in a really good place right now; we’re getting along, and I don’t want to mess that up,” she admitted softly.

“Fine,” Joh sighed, letting it be. “But don’t complain about me being over protective and overbearing, or when you feel like I’m suffocating you.”

“Cater to my every need and we’ll be okay,” she joked, trying to shake the feeling from her head. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. The next day, that feeling would disappear.

​John sat on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table and his laptop open on his lap. The television was on, but he wasn’t really watching it. He’d turned it on for background noise since Marlena had fallen asleep shortly after returning home from the hospital. Maybe it was a good thing, he mused, that she was exhausted. Her need for extra sleep made it easier for her to adhere to Dr. Slater’s strict bed rest orders for the next few days. Movement in the doorway caught his eye, and he looked up as Marlena shuffled into the room.

“Hey. Do you need something?” he asked solicitously.

She nodded. “A change of scenery and some company.” She hoped that his presence would ease the worry that was at the pit of her stomach.

He smiled and patted the couch beside him. “I have just the place for you.” He leaned forward to set his laptop on the table and watched her circle the couch and sit wearily, tucking her feet under her. She looked adorably rumpled in track pants and an old sweatshirt. She leaned into him, her soft curves molding against his body, and he shifted to support her weight more fully. He moved her hair aside to nuzzle her neck, and his smile widened when she let out a contented sigh.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Okay,” she replied. “Just… kind of out of it.”

“That’s normal, you just went through a scare,” he assured her. “The constant worrying alone is enough to exhaust someone.” He slipped his hand under the hem of her sweatshirt to rub her belly. “How’s the little one doing?”

She moved his hand lower so he could feel the baby’s movement. “He’s been moving a lot since we came home. It even woke me up a couple times earlier.”

“He must be doing that to reassure you that he’s healthy.” He curved his palm along the bottom of her abdomen. “I’m sure there are times when you wish you could make it stop for a little while, but for me, this never gets old, feeling him moving around inside you.”

Marlena covered his hand with hers. “I can’t complain. As long as the baby’s moving, I know that it’s okay.” She gestured towards his laptop. “What are you working on?”

“I was looking at some spreadsheets,” he answered. “Kristen e-mailed me about this meeting coming up. I’m just familiarizing myself with the numbers and making sure I’m caught up on everything she’s been working on.”

She turned to look up at him. “You’re not taking any out of town meetings anymore and this seems more like Kristen’s job than yours. Why does it matter?”

“About that…”

“No. John, no,” she eyed him. “You said last week was the last. You have to trust in Kristen’s ability to take care of business, otherwise why did you hire her?”

“This one’s kind of a big deal,” he admitted.

She rolled her eyes in response. “They’re all a big deal.”

“This is my company with my name on it. I don’t want anything fucking it up.”

Marlena sighed, rubbing her fingers against her temple. “Is it always going to be like this? Your job’s going to come first ahead of your kid?”

“Really Marlena? He’s not even here yet. Of course my son’s going to my number one priority, above anything else…when he is born.”

“He could be born at any time!” she stressed. “Babies don’t always make it to their due date.”

John took her hands in his, looking down at them. “This will be the last trip I take. I promise.”

Marlena nodded, biting the inside of her cheek and not saying anything. She reached over to pick up the remote control. “Is there anything good on TV tonight?”

“I wasn’t really watching it. If there’s something you’d like to watch, go ahead.”

She flipped through the channels but didn’t find anything that piqued her interest. “How about a movie?”

“Depends,” John answered. “Are you going to make me sit through another chick flick?”

“Excuse me but who is the one carrying another human life inside their body?” her annoyance was very evident. “Who is the one who the doctor instructed to take things easy? Who is the one getting left all alone while the other goes on an unnecessary business trip?”

“Okay, you win,” he chuckled, shifting her so that he could stand up. “I’ll go make some popcorn while you decide which movie you want to watch.”

She clapped her hands excitedly, and he couldn’t help but smile as he made his way to the kitchen. He pulled out a package of microwave popcorn and poured drinks for both of them while the microwave hummed. When the timer dinged, he removed the bag, shook it, and poured the steaming popcorn into a bowl. Then, balancing the bowl in the crook of his elbow, he picked up the drinks and headed back to the living room.

He’d hoped to reclaim his spot on the couch, but Marlena had spread out so that she was lying on her side with her arms wrapped around the throw pillow he’d been leaning on. He moved closer and grinned, not all that surprised to see that she was already fast asleep.

He laughed to himself. “Looks like I get to pick the movie after all.”

***

The next morning, Marlena was feeling better, that unknown feeling of dread from the previous day was gone. The only downside was that it had only been a day since the fall and she was growing increasingly frustrated of her restrictions, however she did enjoy John taking care of her.

On Friday morning, she slowly came awake to the feel of familiar solidness and warmth surrounding her. She was nestled into John’s sleeping form, with her cheek pressed against his chest and her legs tangled with his. She breathed in the manly scent that was uniquely his and smiled. He always smelled so good. So good in fact that a familiar feeling crept up on her. Surprising even herself, Marlena was feeling amorous for the first time in a long time.

With his hand curved around her bottom, she wiggled into it, enjoying the way his hand flexed possessively. Her fingers skimmed over the ridges of his chest and dipped lower, seeming to act of their own volition. Her lips formed a kiss against his skin as she palmed him through his boxers and stroked him slowly. He quickly hardened in her hand, and she continued to stroke and tease, waiting for him to awaken. A soft moan rumbled low in his chest, and Marlena lifted her head to watch a smile spread across his face.

“Mm, don’t stop.”

She laughed softly, empowered by his desire. Stretching up, she kissed the underside of his chin and nipped at the stubble on his jaw. In an instant his mouth claimed hers, and heat flared between them. His fingertips dug into the flesh of her backside, pulling her into closer contact. She’d planned to simply give him some morning pleasure, but her intentions were swept away in the raging inferno that consumed her. All she wanted was him inside her. He apparently wanted the same thing.

A breathless squeak escaped her lips when he suddenly rolled them both until she was on her back and he was on top of her. His hips thrust insistently against hers as he raised her hands above her head and held her there. She closed her eyes, waiting eagerly for the blissful joining of their bodies.

“Please, John,” she begged.

And then… he stopped. His muscles tensed, and he lifted off of her and moved away.

Confused, she opened her eyes to see him lying on his back with his arm draped over his eyes. “John?” She touched his stomach, and his muscles twitched under her hand.

“Don’t.”

“What happened?” she panted.

“Just give me a minute.”

“I was trying to give you more than that,” she teased, dipping her fingers under his waistband.

“Marlena.” He caught her wrist to halt her ministrations. “Please stop.”

The fire that had raged between them was doused by his icy tone, and Marlena frowned.
“I don’t understand… What’s going on?”

He lifted his arm to look at her as if she was crazy. “Dr. Slater said you should take it easy and avoid all things strenuous. Why would you start something you can’t finish?”

“I’m on restrictions, but there’s no reason I can’t give you a nice morning wake-up call,” she argued.

“I wish it could be as simple as that,” he sighed. “It’s too easy for us to get carried away. Do you realize how close we just were to crossing the line?”

“Not close enough,” she muttered.

“Damn it, Doc, I’m serious,” he scowled. “We can’t take chances like that.”

“Well, excuse me for trying to satisfy your needs.” She touched his arm, and her expression softened. “John, you’ve taken such good care of me lately, I just wanted to do something nice for you. I didn’t expect anything in return.” She tried to move closer to him, but he suddenly threw back the covers and stood.

“I don’t need the eight-months-pregnant mother of my child —who’s on bed rest—getting me off because of some sense of payback or obligation. From now on, just… just… keep your hands to yourself!” John regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth, and the shock and hurt that flickered across her face was almost too much to bear. He stood there, frozen in place, trying to figure out how to fix it.

She made the first move, climbing out of bed and heading to the bathroom.

“I’m sorry,” he called after her. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out…”

Her answer came with the slam of the bathroom door. Frustrated, he turned on his heel and went to the guest bathroom for a very, very cold shower.

By the time he emerged from the bathroom, Marlena was back in bed and appeared to be asleep. He considered waking her to apologize but decided that they could both use some time to cool off. He quickly dressed for work, made breakfast and lunch for both of them, and slipped out the front door.

***

All day, John felt like a jerk for so harshly rejecting Marlena’s advances. Normally he wouldn’t mind, but that morning was different. He’d been in the midst of an extremely erotic dream about her, and when he’d awakened to find that the sensations he was feeling were very real, something inside him had snapped.

Instead of lying there and enjoying the pleasure she was offering, he’d pounced, so focused on his primal needs that for a few moments, he’d forgotten about her restriction. He’d been on top of her about to pull her panties off and bury himself inside her. She’d been right there with him, turned on and ready to shrug off the doctor’s orders and make love with him.

But then he’d regained his senses and pulled away, leaving both of them frustrated and confused. He didn’t remember exactly what he’d said after that—most of his blood supply had left his brain and moved south at that point—but he couldn’t forget the look of hurt on Marlena’s face.

He’d read about pregnant women’s body insecurities, and also about how some men were turned off by their partners’ bodies in the third trimester, but he was the complete opposite. He loved seeing her body change and grow to accommodate his child inside her. She had no idea how sexy she was at this point in her pregnancy, with her body full and lush, her breasts larger, her core always wet and ready. But he hadn’t told her any of those things that morning. He’d told her to keep her hands off, which was actually the last thing he wanted. He wanted her all the time, and he needed to make sure that she knew that.

John’s office phone rang, and he forced his mind to focus on his work. There was no reason why his company should suffer because of his rough morning. So he pushed it out of his mind. When he’d go over to the penthouse later though, he promised himself that he’d find a way to make it up to Marlena

***

On the way to Marlena’s penthouse that evening, John picked up a bouquet of flowers and a couple of take-out dinners from The Pub. When he arrived, he quickly gathered his belongings, walked up the many flights of stairs – the elevator was still down – and unlocked the front door. When the door swung open and he stepped inside, he stopped short, and his eyes narrowed at the scene before him.

Marlena was spread out on the couch with her computer open on her lap, just as she’d been for the past few days when he’d arrived. But this time, there was a man in a chair pulled up beside her, his arm draped on the arm of the couch behind her as he leaned forward to look at the computer screen. Roman.

“Hi, John.” Marlena’s voice broke the awkward silence. “How was work today?”

“Fine.” He bent over the back of the couch to give her stomach a quick rub, as if to remind everyone who’s baby she was carrying, and then he levelled a hard stare at Roman.

He shifted uncomfortably. “Hi, John. We were just, uh, going over some pictures…”

“Roman got all the pictures from the baby shower and put them all on this USB stick for me,” Marlena explained before turning back to Roman. “I really appreciate how good of a friend you are.”

He blushed at the compliment. “It helps when I have a friend like you.” He looked over at John. “She’s an incredible woman.”

“I know,” John replied icily. He held up the take-out bag in his hand. “Sorry, Roman, I’d invite you to stay for dinner, but I only brought home enough food for two.”

“It’s okay, I was about to leave anyway,” Roman answered. “She’s getting tired. A few minutes ago she dozed off while I was talking.”

“I did not!” Marlena protested lightly.

“Pregnant women tend to get tired more quickly,” John told him pointedly. “Especially if they work too hard when they’re supposed to be on bed rest.”

“Don’t worry, I made sure she kept her feet up and didn’t overdo it.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you had a medical degree,” John shot back.

“John.” The warning in Marlena’s tone was clear.

Roman hurriedly stood and began gathering his things. “I’ll let you two enjoy your meals.”

“Thank you,” she replied. “And thank you so much for gathering everyone’s pictures.”

“It wasn’t necessary,” John interjected. “I would have gotten them eventually.”

Marlena grimaced. “Now you don’t have to.”

“It’s nothing big but it’s one less thing to worry about before the birth,” Roman told them.

John reached over and opened the front door. “See you later, Roman. Thanks for stopping by.”

He took the not-so-subtle hint and moved towards the door. With one final wave to Marlena, he stepped through the doorway, and a moment later, the door slammed shut behind him.

When John turned back to look at Marlena, she was glaring at him. “That was rude.”

“Well, forgive me for not being thrilled to come home and find my —” he stopped mid-sentence, “find you entertaining another man.”

Her frown deepened. “What’s that supposed to mean? He’s my friend, John. He’s our friend,” she reminded.

“He just seems to be going out of his way to help you lately.”

“What’s your problem? Plenty of my friends have been here lending a hand and you’ve never had a problem with that.”

“They don’t look at you the way he does.”

“Oh? How does he look at me?”

“Come on, Doc. Don’t act like you’ve never noticed the way he stares at you. It’s like he’s a dying man and you’re his last meal.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” she shot back. “He doesn’t think of me that way. I’m his friend—that’s all.”

“Are you sure about that?” His eyebrow raised.

“Why on earth would he be attracted to a woman who’s eight months pregnant and on bed rest?” She looked at him pointedly. “You certainly made it clear this morning that you aren’t.”

“Whoa, I never said that,” he argued. “I tried to explain—that wasn’t what I meant. It came out wrong.”

She pushed up off the couch and stood with her hands on her hips.

“Well, then, what exactly didyou mean?”

John sighed. How had such a little thing gotten blown so out of proportion? She circled the couch, and he put his hand on her arm. “Look, can we start from the beginning? I brought flowers and dinner for you. Let’s eat, and then we can talk.”

She looked up at him and shook her head sadly. “My head hurts, my side is sore, and I’m not hungry. I’m going to go lie down for a while.”

John opened his mouth to argue, but then thought better of it. “Can I get you anything? Pain pill? A glass of water?”

“Sure,” she answered.

“I’ll save your dinner for you and heat it up when you’re feeling better.”

“Thanks, John.”

He reluctantly released her arm, and without another word, they went their separate ways. Marlena went upstairs and eventually John decided it was time for him to leave and return to his house.

​When everything was ready, John went up to the master bedroom and gently lowered himself onto the bed next to her. She was lying on her side with her arms around a pillow and her nose buried in its softness. She looked adorable, and he couldn’t help himself—he reached out and skimmed his fingertip along her cheek, brushing away a curl. Her eyelids fluttered open, and she looked up at him with a mixture of trepidation and confusion.

“Hi,” he smiled, as she closed her eyes once again.

The aroma of buttermilk, maple syrup, and bacon instantly filled her nostrils. For a second, she thought she was still dreaming. Marlena could hardly keep track of her various dreams about food. Even in sleep her cravings demanded her attention.

Unable to resist the wonderful smell, Marlena opened her eyes to see if the food was, in fact, real. She would be disappointed if her senses were playing tricks on her again. A smile graced her face when she saw the actual tray of food in front of her. There was even a small vase with a single rose resting on top.

“Morning, sleepy head,” John greeted again, grinning.

“Morning.” Marlena sat up, allowing John to rearrange the pillows so that she could lean against the headboard. “What’s all this? Why are you here?”

The insecurity he’d seen in her eyes the day before was still there, and he reached for her hand and took a deep breath. “I know how uncomfortable and annoyed you are with pregnancy right now, so I wanted to do something nice. I wanted to surprise you.” He added teasingly, “Unless you’re not hungry.”

“You know I always am,” she laughed and leaned down to inhale the different aromas. “Everything smells so good. Did you make it yourself?”

“You know I did. Chef John Black graciously prepared pancakes, bacon, and eggs for the woman who is bearing his child.”

“Which plate is mine?” Marlena questioned, licking her lips in anticipation.

“The one with more food.”

“Good man.”

John chuckled and pushed the tray closer to her, so they could both dig in.

“Mmm, so good!” she moaned after taking her first big bite. They continued to eat in silence, with Marlena savoring her food and John watching on in amusement.

“So,” John said after a few minutes, “I have a confession to make.”

“What?” she mumbled through a mouthful of pancake.

“There was another reason why I did all this.” He gestured to the nicely made-up tray. “There are a couple things we need to talk about,” he began. “First of all, I need you to understand that when I stopped you yesterday morning, it wasn’t because I’m not attracted to you. Quite the contrary. When I woke up and you were touching me, it was amazing, but it almost went too far, and that’s why I stopped. Not because I didn’t want to make love to you. Everything about you, even now… especially now… is sexy and fascinating and adventurous, and I love that you want me every bit as much as I want you. But we have to be careful and follow Dr. Slater’s instructions, and unfortunately that means, at least for two more days, no sex.”

Marlena put the fork down and swallowed before looking at him. “I’m sorry, John. I really didn’t mean for it to get out of hand. I just wanted to give you pleasure because I actually wanted it, not because I felt obligated to.”

“I know. And I’m sorry for getting upset with you. I was frustrated, and I didn’t handle it very well.” He bit his bottom lip. “Just like I didn’t handle it well when Roman was here.”

“I should’ve told you that he was coming over, but after our rough morning, it didn’t even cross my mind.” She leaned forward with an earnest gaze. “John, I am not attracted to Roman, never have. He is my very good friend, and that’s all. He’s never said or done anything to imply that he has any personal interest in me. Whether he looks at me a certain way or not, it doesn’t matter. The only man whose eye I want to catch is yours,” she admitted, her cheeks blushed.

He moved closer and gathered her in his arms. “You have my eyes, only you.”

“I’m glad,” she murmured into his chest, her heart beating rapidly at his confession.

“There’s one more thing,” he added, pulling back so he could look at her. “I was wrong the other day when I said that you’re the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world.” Insecurity registered on her face again, and her eyes darted away. He tipped her chin up with his finger to bring her gaze back to his. “What I should’ve said is that you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, and your pregnancy makes you even more beautiful.”

For a moment she looked stunned, and then she wrapped her arms around his neck in an embrace. “Thank you, John. You have no idea how much that means to me.” It really did a lot for her insecurities.

“And guess what?” John pulled back and leaned against the headboard, stealing a strawberry from her tray. “The elevator’s fixed.”

Marlena grinned. “Well that’s good news…for you.”

“Why me?” His eyebrow raised as he nodded, understanding where she was going with this. “What job are you giving me?”

“I want to re-wash all the baby’s clothes one more time but I’m out of laundry soap,” she explained as she took a drink of juice, “and I have a grocery list.”

“Consider it done.”

A few hours later after the groceries had been done and put away, after a couple loads of laundry were completed and after passing the vacuum and washing the floors, John was walking into the kitchen when he noticed Marlena sitting on a stool at the counter with a book in hand.

She looked up from her book when she noticed him. “Thank you for doing all of that,” she said. “When you were upstairs, I remembered I wanted to do the baby bottles and the soothers another time.”

“Again? I thought you did that weeks ago,” he said, nevertheless, going into the cupboard and pulling out a big pot, filling it with water and placing it on a burner.

“I did,” she nodded. “But my OCD is taking over, and I want to make sure they’re done three times. Just to make sure they’re absolutely sanitized.”

“I think you’re doing it more so to take advantage of me and the fact that I offered to weigh on you hand and foot,” John joked, coming to stand next to her. “Still reading these books, huh?” he commented after noticing the baby book resting underneath her palms.

She took a deep breath as she nodded. “Does it show that I’m really nervous?” A big yawn escaped her lips.

“No, but it shows that you are tired,” John chuckled as he went back to the cupboards.

“I think I need a nap,” she said with a heavy sigh.

John laughed. “Yeah, I can see how all that house work can make you tired.” He was holding the bottles and pacifiers in his arms, ready to sanitize them once again. Just like the clothes, Marlena was very specific that they needed to be sanitized on three separate occasions.

“You try carrying all this extra weight on you.”

“No thanks.” He laid the items out on the counter and focused his attention on her. “You’re doing such a good job of it; I wouldn’t nearly be as good at it as you. I wouldn’t want anybody else but you carrying my children.”

“Children?” She asked, slightly surprised. “Oh no, this isn’t happening again. Our situation is not ideal and if I do end up having more children, I want it to be in the right way.”

John chose not to say anything, not exactly sure if he – or if they– were ready to have that conversation yet. Instead he chose to talk about something else altogether. “You remember Kristen calling earlier?”

“Vaguely.” Marlena had been so tired that the interruption seemed nothing more than a dream now.

“Well, she had some good news.”

That caught Marlena’s attention, and her head snapped up. “What was it?”

“Remember that trip to New York I needed to make in a few days?” Marlena nodded. “I got out of it.”

“You did? Oh my God, John, that’s great! How?”

“Yep! I am taking a step back and officially pulling out of the travelling business for the next few months.” He paused for a moment, building her anticipation. “You are officially stuck with me, whether you like it or not.” John smiled when he noticed Marlena’s eyes widen in excitement. “You’re looking at a man who puts his family above all else.”

She threw her arms around him. “Oh my God,” she repeated as she hugged him tightly. She was truly touched by his effort. “I thought I would end up giving birth while you were away on business!”

“I’d never leave you to go through that on your own,” he declared.

Marlena took his face in her hands and pulled him closer. She kissed him passionately, pouring all of her relief and enthusiasm into it. “Thank you,” she said, meeting his gaze. “Thank you for doing this for me. I know how much your business means to you and—”

“It’s true. I love my work and I prefer to handle meetings for myself but sometimes I’m going to have to delegate. And even if I didn’t have anyone to take the meeting for me, it would have to be rescheduled or whatever because you mean more to me than any job. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be having a son and for that I will always care for you. You and our boy are my priority,” he told her.

Marlena’s smile was beaming.

“Go on to bed,” he prompted, seeing the exhaustion in her eyes. “I’ll finish the laundry.”

“Thank you so much, you’re a lifesaver.” Marlena slowly made her way up the staircase, one hand on the banister and the other supporting her stomach. Once she reached her bedroom it wasn’t long until sleep took over and the dreams came.

Running around in nothing but a diaper was a toddler, hair dark as the night, running rampant across the yard. Marlena tilted her head, studying the child. They showed
no fear, climbing onto the swing set and jumping off in the same breath, and then jumping back onto the teeter-totter swing and start jumping on it until it moved, and the child squealed in delight. This caused Marlena to let out a hearty giggle and smile brightly.

Hearing the noise, the boy stopped playing and his head snapped to the side, jumping in delight at the sight of Marlena. “Mommy!” The child started running, arms spread wide open. “Me missed you,” the little voice said as Marlena’s arms encompassed his little body. “I no see you in a long time. Where you go?”

She pulled back, holding the child by the shoulders, studying him. Those eyes blue like the sky were a sharp contrast to his jet-black hair. She offered the boy a soft smile before opening her mouth, but she couldn’t find the words. Marlena didn’t have an answer.

“Ah that’s okay,” he waved it off with his tiny hand. “Come play with me.” He took off as fast as his little feet would let him, not a care in the world as he tripped and immediately got back up. “Mama!” The boy shouted as he jumped up and down on the swing set once he reached it.

“Oh dear, Spencer. Be careful!” Marlena said, as she rushed over, using both hands to lift the toddler off the swing.

Spencer huffed, but immediately lost interest in being angry and took off toward the sandbox across the yard. Soon he was throwing sand in the air, completely oblivious to the world around him.

Marlena watched in awe. Soon the little boy stopped what he was doing and looked up, offering his mother a big toothy grin, almost as if he could feel her watching him. Jumping up, he ran to Marlena and took hold of her hand, leading the way to the swings. 

They played on the swing set as Marlena talked about cars and the trees and the birds and clouds in the sky. They swung back and forth, and Marlena chuckled as Spencer squealed.

“Mama!” Spencer shouted as he bounced off the swing and raced back to the sandbox. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Spencer squealed as he ran from the sandbox around the big tree and back by Marlena. He fell on the ground laughing and pointed at the cloud, “Moo.”

Marlena looked up, shielding her eyes from the sun. “That’s right, baby; cows go ‘moo’. Do you see a cloud that looks like a cow up there?”

They lay on the grass observing the clouds and their different shapes. Eventually Spencer turned over onto his stomach and grabbed Marlena by the cheeks with his little hands, placing wet kisses all over her face as Marlena laughed. 

***

Back in the kitchen, John was heating up the curry in a saucepan when Marlena sauntered in. She had changed into some cotton drawstring shorts and a tank top that covered most of her low-hanging belly. Her loose curls were pulled up in a ponytail.

“Mmm, that smells amazing,” she commented, rubbing John’s back as she passed by him.

John turned his attention away from the stove top and smiled, “Hi. Nice nap?”

Marlena nodded. “A solid hour and a half. I’ll take it!”

“Any pains?”

“No. Just the constant ache in my back.”

“The food will be ready in ten. Why don’t you try some of those exercises until then?”

Marlena laughed and shook her head. “Yeah, right.” Bracing her lower back, she closed her eyes and started swaying. “I don’t think I’ll be able to stand back up if I do those.” She took a slow step towards the counter and leaned forward onto her elbows, continuing to rock her hips, moaning at the pressure.

John dropped the sauce spoon into the pan and slammed his thumbs into the now very familiar spot on her lower back, making small circles. His fingers braced her hips. “They’re supposed to help you,” he said, patiently rubbing her until her hips stopped swaying and her breathing quieted.

Marlena straightened up. “Thank you.”

“Is it all in your tailbone?” John asked.

She shook her head. “No, but that’s where it’s worst. It kind of wraps around my whole belly, and moves down.”

“I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do.”

Marlena pursed her lips, looking intently at him “Turn the stove off,” she suddenly instructed him.

“You’re not hungry?” he questioned. Her demeanor had changed, and he couldn’t figure out what was behind that mysterious look in her eyes.

Marlena shook her head, her curls spilling out of her ponytail. “I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck me right here. Right now.”

John raised a brow at her sudden request. He coughed, clearing his head, and took a step towards her. She looked anxious and impatient. “What was that?” he asked.

“You heard me,” she responded, rubbing her aching back. “I’ve got a job I need you to do.”

“I’m going to need you to repeat it,” he said huskily, taking another small step towards her. He thought they had settled this already.

“John,” she whimpered. “Please. I’m not playing games with you right now.”

He was now close enough that he could see the desperation in her eyes, and he felt for her. He closed the space between them with one final step and kissed her hard, holding her face within his palms. John slid his tongue in her mouth and began to caress her tongue with his own. Feeling his excitement grow, John knew he should stop but her body and the way she made him feel was intoxicating.

He pulled back, licking his wet lips and he took in her appearance. How her arousal shown on her face. His thumbs moved across her cheekbones in a slow, intimate caress. His fingers traced lower until his thumb stroked her lip in a soft seductive tease. “Are you sure this is a good idea? You were just in the hospital a few days ago,” John reminded her, unsure about what she was suggesting.

“It’s fine.”

“What’s gotten into you? You’ve barely let me touch you these last few weeks,” John reminded, genuinely confused by her sudden shift. “And now that’s all you want.”

Marlena had to focus on her breathing if she didn’t want to lose her cool. “Hormones have gotten to me,” she said with a hint of annoyance. “I’m horny. I’m really horny and I want you.” Plus, the pleasure would distract her from the pain, so she saw it as a win win situation.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Are you saying no to sex? You’re actually saying no?” She scoffed. “I’ve seen the way you look at me lately, there’s no way you don’t want me.”

“Oh, trust me, I want you. I want you all the damn time. It’s just…Dr. Slater said to take it easy and I for one do not want to cause you or my son any harm. I love—” John stopped himself and looked down, clearing his throat before meeting her eyes again.

Marlena held her breath in anticipation. Is he going to say he loves me?

“I love this baby so much,” John finished his original declaration, “and I don’t want to risk losing him.”

Marlena almost smiled, obviously a little let down but still touched by his love for their son. “Everything is fine,” she assured. “Nothing will happen. It’s safe.”

“Are you sure?” He was so close to giving in.

“I’m a doctor and I know my body. It’s perfectly okay if mommy and daddy decide to partake in a little indoor contact sports. Now please have sex with me. Doctor’s orders.”

“Really?” John asked, a smirk plastering his face.

“Really,” she completed. She smiled again and reached her hand to his cheek as they both leaned in. They started a make-out session and after pulling back a few times, he moved them to the nearby table, letting her sit on the edge after sliding her shorts down her long legs. Her shirt was next. His hands skimmed over her skin as he brought the tank top she had on over her head. He smiled and leaned over her, hands resting on the table by her sides, preventing him from putting his weight on her.

They locked eyes as he leaned down and attached her lips to his again. He ran his hand up her side and to her back to unclasp her bra, then began to knead her breasts once the clothing that covered them landed on the floor.

“Ooooh gentle, they’re sore,” she whimpered when he kneaded one a bit too hard.

“Sorry,” he said gently and resumed kissing down her body and over her swollen stomach. “Close your eyes and ears little man,” he said to her stomach, causing her to giggle. The giggle that erupted from her throat turned to a low moan when he kissed her through her panties. He hooked his fingers at either side of them and brought them down, leaving her nude.

She groaned impatiently when he teasingly slow kissed up her left leg. “John…” she sighed frustrated, causing him to chuckle slightly and he brought his face back in front of hers.

“You sure you want to do it right here?” He glanced around her kitchen as she removed his jeans and boxers, purposely flicking over his member every now and then. She smiled at him, knowing he was thinking of her and if she was comfortable or not.

“It’s not like we haven’t done it in here before,” she breathed.

“What do you want,” he whispered as he lowered his lips onto hers, to bring the moment back.

Marlena smiled and nipped his lip before slipping off the table, turning around and leaning over the table, surprised at how this position really did relieve a lot of back pressure.

Wordlessly, John quickly came up behind her. He kicked her right leg open, causing Marlena to gasp in delight, and ran his hands up and down her torso. He grabbed her – one arm gripping her shoulder and the other, clutching her belly. He was getting ready to take her from behind before pausing. Leaning down, he kissed her neck and sucked her ear before questioning, “is this going to hurt you or the baby?”

Marlena sighed. “Just go slowly. At least at first.”

He nodded, although she couldn’t see him.

She moaned as his member teased her entrance, getting her wetter with each stroke. She gripped the edge of the table as he sank into her, her head falling forward as she moaned. He began to set a steady pace of deep and smooth thrusts. She whimpered at first, but soon she matched his movements as best as she could, his hands on either side of her hips, preventing him from leaning all his weight on her.

“John,” she panted, “that’s good, go a little harder.”

“That’s good, baby? You like that?” he responded. “I’m gonna cum so fast. Are you there with me?” He continued pounding into her.

She didn’t respond, but instead grabbed a piece of mail that was close to her fist and crumpled it in her hand. “Just keep going,” she whimpered.

“What do you need?” he breathed. All the while, he kept reminding himself to keep his hands off her breasts, which he desperately wanted to grab.

“Don’t worry about me, just make sure when you cum, you’re deep,” she let out between moans.

This answer didn’t sit well with John. He was desperate to satisfy her, despite her discomfort. Instead of allowing himself to finish, John reached down and around Marlena’s massive belly and found the sensitive knob that sat atop her swollen folds. He knew her, and if anything was going to bring her to orgasm, it was going to be a few swift flicks of her clitoris – a move that always worked on her.

“John!” she cried out in pleasure.

John grinned to himself and continued pumping into her, his fingers working their magic, once again.

Marlena felt a sweet and surprising release of pleasure, despite her throbbing sensitive mound. “Oh, god, John,” she breathed, collapsing onto her forearms. She felt him drive into her several more times before he paused and burrowed himself deep within her. He grunted, and she knew he was cumming. She stood still, breathless and shockingly satisfied.

John stayed inside of her while he caught his breath. He felt incredible; so grateful for the chance to make love to Marlena after weeks of drought. He leaned down and pressed his lips between Marlena’s shoulder blades.

They stood there for a few more moments, feeling each other’s breaths steady before Marlena turned her head, “thank you, John,” she swallowed. “That went much better than I thought.”

John rested his head on her shoulder and smiled. “You need to give me more credit, I know what you like.”

“Yes, you do,” she agreed.

John kissed her cheek and took a step back, slapping her butt as he exited her body. He pulled his pants back up and stared smugly at her body, pleased with his performance. Maybe now he’d get a few more rounds in before the birth, he thought.

He helped Marlena with her shorts and underwear as she, too, stood back up, rubbing her back. Turning around, she gave John a smile and pressed her belly into his abdomen, leaning up for a kiss. John obliged, leaving his lips lingering on hers for a moment longer than usual. He broke apart, then went in for one more quick peck with a smile.

“What brought this on?” he asked with a grin. He had barely been allowed to touch her lately, except for the massages.

Marlena smiled back. “I was really horny,” she winked. “Hormones,” she added as she dug her fingers into her back, feeling uncomfortable. “And now I’m really hungry.”

John chuckled.

“Can you finish heating up the food? I’m going to clean up in the bathroom.”

A few minutes later, John was flipping the burners off and plating their dinner when he heard Marlena call from the bathroom. “I think we woke him up,” she said.

A smile took over John’s face as he followed her voice. She was in the bathroom right off from the den, standing in front of the mirror as she whispered to her belly.

Marlena looked up and caught John’s eyes through the mirror. “He started this kicking fit a couple minutes ago,” she giggled.

John came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and placing his hands on her big rounded belly, feeling the baby kicking up a storm. Leaning in, his lips skimmed the soft skin on the side of her neck. “I forgot how much I enjoyed being with you like this.” He wanted this tonight and every night, he allowed himself to admit.

It had almost been a complete week since Marlena’s fall and only a day since Dr. Bader had cleared Marlena. There had been no complications to come up during the time period, therefore that meant no more restrictions, no more bed rest.

To celebrate, John took Marlena out for dinner and a movie and a surprise stroll down by the pier. Marlena was elated, wanting to enjoy everything as if she had been locked up for years when in reality she was only on light duty for less than a week. John laughed when she begged to go for a walk after their movie. After the excitement died down and Marlena began to tire, they ended the night at his house for a change.

The next morning John and Marlena were spooning in the middle of his bed, Marlena fast asleep while John lay wrapped around her, breathing her in and gently stroking his fingers along her stretched stomach. This baby might not have been planned but he was very welcomed. They had been trying to figure out when the baby was conceived, but with all the sex they’d been having it was nearly impossible to pinpoint the exact date.

Thinking about all the sex they’d been having was starting to have an effect on John. God, they always had a healthy sex life, never able to get enough of each other. A simple kiss always ended up turning into so much more. The same was true for when they were a couple and even afterwards.

John started to get adventurous in the way he was touching her. She was wearing one of his large shirts and no panties. He began gently running his hands up and down her thighs. He finally got bold and lightly dragged his index finger through her folds and softly stroked her clit. He eased his finger down and rimmed her entrance spreading her wetness.

Marlena shifted her hips against his and arched her back, “Mmmm…” she grabbed his hand and helped him put pressure on her clit. She was extra sensitive during pregnancy.

John used his middle finger to enter her and went deep enough to rub against her g-spot.

Marlena moaned loudly and grabbed his hand to pull his finger out. She swung her leg back to make room for him as John pulled his boxers down just enough to free his penis. He grabbed her hips and pulled her tight against him as Marlena reached below and stroked him a few times. John moved her hand, grabbed the base of his cock and slowly pushed inside of her, wrenching sweet moans from both of them.

“God, you are so tight,” John said breathily into her neck.

Marlena held on to his thigh as he continued to slowly stroke inside of her. She loved when John took her from behind. He always seemed to be everywhere. The way he blew his breath on her neck was so sensual. She loved the way his arms wrapped around her and how he would hold on tight when he came. She stroked her clit while John slid his hands underneath her shirt and tweaked her nipples. It was sensory overload for Marlena. She clamped down on his cock and came hotly, “Yessss!”

John held still while she continued to spasm and when she was finished, he began stroking faster into her from behind.

Marlena cupped his balls as John buried his face in her neck and held her tightly to him as he came. “Uhhhhh,” he grunted, and slowly thrusted his hips until he was empty.

Marlena reached up and hooked her arm around his head, proceeding to stroke his hair.

John turned his head to kiss the inside of her arm. “You’re going to have to stop being so goddamn sexy or I’ll never be able to resist you even if I tried.”

“I know.” Marlena let out a satisfied sigh as she brought her arm down. “You tried once, and you failed.”

“Yeah…I’d rather not talk about that.”

Suddenly she was turning around to face him, her elbow supporting her as she leaned on it. “Well I do. I want to talk about it right now.”

Exasperated, John said, “Marlena, it’s five in the morning. Let’s go back to sleep.”

“No, I actually want to talk about this.” Pushing herself up, she sat with her back against the headboard, a pillow at her lower back for extra comfort. “There must have been a reason why you sought out to have sex with me when you were dating Rebecca.”

If he had known that this impromptu sex would have led to this, John never would have become adventurous with his touching. How did she suddenly, out of the blue, want to talk about this? Especially now of all times. He closed his eyes, wishing she’d give up and return to sleep. “This is definitely not what people have in mind when they think of pillow talk.”

“I don’t want to believe that you’re that guy. Because if you are,” her voice cracked, “then that means you could have cheated on me and I don’t know if I can bare knowing the truth.”

With a heavy sigh John opened his eyes and adjusted his head so that he could look up at her. “I never, ever cheated on you. I could never do that,” he explained.

“If you love someone, that love should be strong enough to stop you from being unfaithful. The thought of the person that you love should be there at the back of your mind preventing you from making a mistake.”

John didn’t speak. Instead, his face did the talking for him. His eyebrow raised and his mouth formed into a thin line. Sitting up, he positioned himself to face her.

“I’m only going to say this once and then I never want to talk about it again okay?” She nodded, hiccupping. “I don’t think I ever truly loved her,” John admitted, his tone low, feeling ashamed. “I think she was just the first girl I got with after you and what started as a rebound sort of grew into more, but now that I think about it, being with her was a distraction.”

“Okay…”

“It made me forget about you,” he continued, averting his eyes, “which is what I needed…until it didn’t work anymore and the thought of being with you was all that I could think about.” There was a pause before his eyes landed on her again and he began again. “I don’t know what I was thinking when I sought you out. I probably wasn’t even thinking. I just thought that if I had you one more time then I’d be able to get you out of my system.”

How wrong you were, Black, John thought. That one fix made him crave more and he couldn’t control himself no matter how much he tried.

“Clearly that didn’t work,” retorted Marlena.

“Clearly. You now have a part of me in your system,” he pointed out, a cheeky grin on his lips.

Marlena cracked a small smile. “That was really cheesy.”

John allowed himself to chuckle a bit before the moment became serious again. “I am not that guy. I did not cheat on you. What you and I had was stronger than Rebecca and I, that’s how I was able to do that. I regret hurting her the way I did, but over this past year I’ve learned so much about life and love. And even if I could, I wouldn’t take back all the bad stuff that’s happened, because it brought us here, to this moment.”

Marlena swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded heavily.

Instincts kicked in and John pulled her into a soft kiss. There was a temptation to let his lips linger a little longer but he ran the risk of falling a little deeper.

He let out a soft breath before saying, “Now I don’t want to talk about this anymore, alright? It’s not something I’m proud of.”

“I’m not proud of what I did either.”

John sighed, just wanting it to end. He lay back down and adjusted his pillow. Looking up, he saw that Marlena was running her fingertips in circular motion over her belly. “Can we please go back to bed, it’s still way too early.”

“Hey, you’re the one who woke me up, remember?” There was a glimmer of a grin on her lips.

“I didn’t hear any complaints.”

“Mmm, never,” she replied huskily.

Marlena settled back down in bed, laying on her left side with her back to John, a pillow placed between her knees for support.

***

John crept over to the bed. Her belly had swollen dramatically, and her skin had stretched so much that her belly button poked out. He carefully pulled the blankets away, rolling Marlena’s shirt up to expose her bump.

“Hey little man,” he breathed. “It’s Daddy and baby time.”

He propped himself up on a pillow, sprawling across the bed so he could best face his growing son. “Listen to me, honey,” he saw the outline of a hand push against Marlena’s skin and he gently traced his finger against it. “It’s not going to be long before I can hold your hand for real, but baby,” he paused, leaning forward to press his lips against Marlena’s midsection. “Your Mommy needs you to stay healthy in there so that you’re safe to come out the way you’re supposed to. I know she won’t say it, but she was scared when she had that fall,” he cleared his throat quietly, “and I don’t like to see her like that. Just do your best for me, okay? That is all I can ask.”

John rubbed his stubbly cheek against her belly, one finger poking on the little hand desperate for escape, gently pressing kisses to Marlena’s belly as he murmured nonsense stories.

Marlena’s hand crept up, slowly cradling through his hair, nails gently scraping against his scalp. “Morning,” she murmured blearily.

“Morning,” he replied. He gave Marlena a smile when her hand covered his, resting against their son. “How much of that did you hear?”

She smiled sheepishly “I wasn’t trying to listen.” She brushed a hand across John’s cheek. “You’re a good Daddy,” she hummed. She stretched and looked at the clock, promptly groaning when she realized that not only was she going to have to get out of bed, she’d have to leave soon. She chastised herself for waiting so long to go into the office to pick up some forms that Dr. Winthrop has asked for. She should have picked those up last week but with the fall she suffered and orders to take it easy, it had slipped her mind completely.

“What’s up?” John asked as he turned on his side with a hand supporting his head.

“Reality. Sometimes I wish I could stay in bed and ignore everything else going on around us.”

John grinned, trailing a finger up her exposed thigh. “Me too.”

Marlena giggled and pushed his hand away. “Not like that you goof.”

John laughed, and his eyes had closed again, but he had a smile on his lips. He sighed contently.

“I’m feeling so lazy,” Marlena giggled as John hummed in response.

“I suppose I should get up,” he said after a few minutes, eyes still shut.

“I’d rather spend the entire day in bed,” she stated.

“I wish I could.” He pressed his lips chastely to Marlena’s before pulling away and starting to climb out of bed. She groaned slightly in protest and he chuckled. He went around to Marlena’s side of the bed and walked in his closet, grabbing black slacks and a crisp light blue dress shirt. After a minute, he turned back around and noticed her staring. He laughed.

“No need to rush. I’m enjoying the view,” teased Marlena, slightly biting into her lower lip as she looked on in appreciation at the sight before her.

John laughed again. “I’ll go take a shower and you can get dressed,” he said. He leaned down to press another chaste kiss to her lips, but she wasn’t having that.

Marlena wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down next to her, gliding her tongue along his lower lip. He groaned and opened his mouth, gladly allowing her tongue to slide in. Their tongues molded together, sending tingles up and down Marlena’s spine, making her shiver with pleasure. After a few minutes, John reluctantly pulled away.

“Shower. Work,” he reminded her, slightly incoherent. Marlena giggled and untangled her arms from around him, allowing him to get up and leave the room, mumbling something about temptation.

Marlena giggled again before climbing out of bed.

After his shower John came down the stairs, fixing the collar of his shirt as he walked down the hall to the kitchen. Marlena was standing by the refrigerator still only in his T-shirt, no pants. “I made you breakfast,” she said proudly as she poured a glass of juice.

John had to hold in a chuckle, amused. “You — you made breakfast?”

“Yes.”

John burst out laughing when he saw it was a bowl of cereal, milk on the side with coffee. “I appreciate the gesture, but I must say I am relieved that it’s only cereal.”

They sat down at the banquet and ate in silence, John enjoying his coffee while Marlena drank orange juice, occasionally looking around the large room, imagining their son crawling around, trying to open the refrigerator doors with his tiny hands.

“What are you doing today?” John asked. “If you don’t have any plans you could stay here until I return from the office.” He was standing by the sink, finishing his coffee.

Marlena put her spoon down and gathered her dishes to join John’s in the dishwasher. “Actually, I do have a few things I have to do today. Would you mind driving me to the penthouse so I can get my car?”

John flashed her an inquisitive look before saying, “Um no.”

“No?” She gave him the side eye as she shut the dishwasher door.

“No. I don’t think you should be driving,” explained John. The fall the other day scared him more than he admitted, and he wasn’t willing to take any more risks.

“Please tell me this is a joke.” If it was, Marlena wasn’t finding it funny at all.

“Marlena I’m not letting you drive around town when your stomach basically touches the steering wheel.” Walking around her, John was making his way upstairs to his office as Marlena followed, hot on his heels.

“You’re not letting me?” She scoffed, holding onto the banister and watching her steps as she climbed the stairs. “I must have missed the part when you became the boss of me. You do not own me. You do not get to tell me what I can and cannot do.”

When they were both standing at the top of the stairs John guided Marlena to sit down on one of the plush chairs in the open concept den. “I obviously didn’t mean it the way it sounded.” He was kneeling down before her, his hands running up and down her arms soothingly. “I don’t want to boss you around or expect you to obey. What I meant to say is it’s not safe for you to drive with your stomach in the way and interfering with steering. I want you to stay safe.”

“I’ll bring back the seat. Problem solved.” She sounded optimistic.

“Problem not solved!” John retorted just as fast. “You do that, and you won’t be able to reach the pedals.”

Marlena pulled her arms from his reach, wanting to show him that she was very much upset. “Well what do you want me to do John! I’m not going to remain cooped up in my apartment 24/7. I did that for a few days, and it drove me nuts. I cannot feel trapped again.”

Thinking of a solution, John reached for the ottoman behind him and pulled it closer so he could sit. “I’ll drive you. Tell me when and where and I’ll be there, if I can’t then I’ll send a driver.”

“I’m not a child.”

“Why is this such a big deal for you?”

“For me? I just want to retain my independence while I can,” explained Marlena, her hand resting on the top of her belly. She knew that when this child was born, she would be at his beckoned call. Not that she minded; she couldn’t wait actually, but she wanted to do things while she still could before the changes that the baby would bring to her life and routine.

“I don’t want you to drive and that’s that,” he said, end of discussion.

“Oh my god, fine,” she groaned, annoyed and upset. “Could you at least give me a ride to the office then or do I have to take a taxi?”

Ignoring her attitude, John raised an eyebrow and said, “I’ll drive you on one condition.”

Marlena’s response was to role her eyes and sigh, resting her forehead down onto her finger tips.

“On the condition that you don’t go there to do any work. You’re supposed to be resting before the baby comes.” John’s index finger tapped onto the skin of her exposed thigh.

Marlena looked at his finger on her skin for a second and looked up, catching his eye, her anger dissipating slightly. “I promise.” The smallest of smiles could be seen on her face. “I only have to pick up some papers. It will be quick, and you can bring me back home.”

John clapped his hands together, glad that the matter was settled. “Okay. There’s plenty of food, including that ice cream you love in the freezer, I have fresh strawberries and I believe I have iced tea as well,” he listed off items, wanting Marlena to make herself at home.

“Oh, John, I meant my home — the penthouse.”

“Okay.” John put his hands up defensively. “It was just a thought…”

“I’ll go grab my things.” She got up and walked to his bedroom, leaving John to sit on the ottoman.

Roughly 15 minutes later John was in his home office, in the midst of a phone call. “Yes…I’ll pay extra if you can make sure to get there within the next 20 minutes.” When he caught Marlena stopping in the doorway, he cleared his throat. “I gotta go…Thanks.” After ending the call, John flashed her a smile. “Ready to go?”

Marlena nodded. “Was that work?”

“No. Come on, let’s go.” John reached out for her overnight bag after taking hold of his briefcase.

Once at her office, Marlena was happily greeted by her secretary, Cynthia. “Dr. Evans!”

“Good morning.” Despite the exhaustion Marlena smiled brightly, especially when she noticed the bouquet of flowers on the young woman’s desk. “Oh my word, those are some gorgeous flowers.”

“Mhmm,” she agreed. “Someone’s got good taste.”

“A new love interest? Or still the same guy…Jesse was his name, correct?”

“It was,” eye roll. “Pardon my language, but he turned out to be a huge dick.”

“Well this guy certainly must have earned brownie points with these.”

“Those aren’t for me,” she said. She wished she had someone delivering her flowers at work. Take Marlena for instance, she was on maternity leave and she was still receiving flowers.

“Me? Who would send me flowers?” Marlena looked confused. “Everyone knows I’m on maternity leave.”

“There’s a card.”

Doc,

I’m sorry about our argument earlier. I know words don’t mean much, but I hope these will help. 

John

She smiled at how wonderful this man was. Even when she was upset with him he still found ways to make her smile. A simple touch, flowers, etc.

The receptionist recognized the look on Marlena’s face, slight feelings of jealousy coming up. “John,” she stated, not needing it to be a question.

Marlena did one of her breathy smiles.

“Brownie points?” Cynthia asked.

Marlena nodded, knowing she couldn’t stay mad at him for long.

“So how are you feeling?” She asked, genuinely interested.

“I have some good days and bad days but I’m just glad to get out of the house.” It felt good to be back at the office, although it hadn’t been too long, she was missing her work.

Cynthia nodded enthusiastically. “Absolutely. Did you drive here yourself?”

“Yeah, right,” she replied in a sarcastic tone, feeling the anger start to come back. “John won’t let me drive. He’s waiting in the car.”

Cynthia’s eyes widened and an excited smile spread across her face. “I still can’t believe you are with hunky Mr. Brown a.k.a. John Black.”

“We’re not really together.”

“Still…I’d do anything to have a man like him! As if you didn’t tell me when he first came into the office!”

“It wasn’t appropriate.”

“You had me believing that something may have been going on between you and a patient — that isn’t appropriate,” retorted Cynthia.

“You thought that?” Marlena let out a soft laugh.

“Well yeah. He brought you flowers — twice now.” She pointed to the beautiful arrangement.

“John and I… We have a complicated history.”

“And a complicated present,” she pointed out the obvious. “If he was mine, I wouldn’t let him get away.”

Serious, Marlena said, “I never wanted to.”

“What happened — if you don’t mind me asking?”

She gave a sad shrug of the shoulders. “Sometimes love isn’t enough.” Her right hand came to her stomach, rubbing it in circles as she thought of this baby that she was having with the love of her life.

“Okay,” she agreed tentatively. “Sometimes life presents you with another opportunity to get it right. This baby is sort of like your second chance.”

“I don’t want him to stay with me due to some sense of obligation he has because I’m having his baby.”

“Girl, you’re blind.” It was hard for Cynthia to comprehend how Marlena couldn’t see it. She must be in denial, she thought.

Marlena shrugged her shoulders, unable to see it her way. “It’s not as simple as people think. Believe me, I wish it was but it’s more complicated than that.”

“Well I wish you nothing but the best and I hope everything works out in your favour.”

“Thank you. The reason I’m here actually is for —“

“This,” said Cynthia as she presented Marlena with an Manila envelope. “Dr. Winthrop told me you’d be stopping by to pick these up. Truth be told, I was expecting you to come by last week.”

“I would have but things got in the way,” Marlena put her hand atop her large belly and shrugged. “But I’m here now. I’ll try to fill these either tonight or tomorrow and get that back as soon as I can.”

“No rush.” She smiled.

Looking down at her watch Marlena took notice of the time, knowing John still had to bring her home before he drove to his office. “I’m sorry, unfortunately I have to go. John’s waiting for me in the car.”

“I won’t keep you then.” She came around the desk to stand close to Marlena. “I know I already told you this, but good luck again and congratulations.”

They hugged. “Thank you.”

As she walked over to John’s car, flowers in hand, Marlena tried hard to conceal her smile but it was futile. John smiled at himself, glad the flowers worked.

“You’ll never guess who bought me flowers,” she said as she touched the petals once she was seated.

He raised an eyebrow and gave a small grin. “Anyone I know?”

“They’re from one of my patients. A Mr. Brown.”

Playing along, John nodded softly. “Ah, and does this Mr. Brown know that you are pregnant with Mr. Black’s child and he doesn’t like to share?”

Not hesitating, she said, “I think Mr. Black needs to make it clear to Mr. Brown exactly what he wants.” There it was. She wanted to know exactly what this was to John. No games, just the honest truth.

“Do you like them?” He smiled.

“I really do.”

“I didn’t like the way we left off at home,” he sighed. “I’m sorry for acting like a jerk, I was just being protective.”

“Overprotective,” corrected Marlena.

“I take my role as a father very seriously.”

“I love that, but please give me some wiggle room.”

“Understood. I have to go into the office for a few hours, want me to drop you off somewhere? Maybe you could visit with Laura or Hope,” he suggested as he pulled out of his parking space.

“Everyone’s working except for me.”

“You make that sound like it’s a bad thing.”

“I’m bored out of my mind with nothing to do day after day.”

John shot her a quick look as he slowed down, anticipating the red traffic light ahead. “Just think of it as a vacation.”

“A vacation? Being house bound is not my idea of a vacation.”

“Didn’t you like spending the night at my place? Different bed, change of scenery…” John was trying to make her see that things weren’t as bad as she thought but her eyes told him she wasn’t in agreement. “I’ll tell you what, as soon as you’re feeling up to it, I’ll take you wherever you want.”

“That won’t be for a very, very long time. Who knows, you might not even be around anymore.”

“Are you planning on getting rid of me?” He tore his eyes from the traffic light to see her reaction.

“No, never,” she said softly, “but I can’t make you stay. That choice is reserved for you.”

Wanting to reassure her, without thinking, John began to speak. “I think I want to stay,” he said sincerely.

Their eyes caught and thus began an intense gaze, looking deep into the other’s soul as John reached out his right hand, grabbing her face as he leaned in for a kiss.

She held her breath anticipating his warm lips upon hers. Their lips met in the most magical kiss, Marlena feeling butterflies in her stomach.

It started with a soft and lasting kiss, neither wanting to break contact. Two soft pecks followed before a car blew its horn. They pulled apart, the moment lost. Leaning back in his seat, John noticed the green traffic light just as the car behind them honked again. The sound resonated and faded to silence, a silence that remained for the remainder of the car ride.

Laying there with the rapid thump, thump, thump echoing in her ears, Marlena couldn’t help but to think back on the moment she heard her baby’s heartbeat for the first time. She considered it one of the best moments of her pregnancy, and even of her life. She thought then that she couldn’t possibly love this baby any more, but every time she would hear his little heartbeat, or she would see him during a scan she would fall even more in love with him each time. So, as she lay there that beautiful Saturday afternoon, listening to the part of her and the part of John beat rapidly, she started getting chocked up. Gosh, she loved this baby so so much and she couldn’t wait to meet him. She was finally getting everything she ever wanted. Well…almost.

She wanted John fully as well, but she would take what she could get. She was good with what they had right now and simply having a child with him was a dream come true. She knew the incredible love and the attachment she felt to this baby was probably partly due to who his father was. She would love her baby either way, but she loved him even more just because it was John’s.

Pulling the ear tips from her ears, she placed her plum colored stethoscope beside her on the couch. Her body aching, she changed positions a little and she replaced where the bell of the stethoscope was with her hand, rubbing her stomach smoothly. This solicited movement from the little tyke, an elbow, maybe a foot. Marlena chuckled under her breath. “You like that huh?”

She continued to rub her belly and whisper sweet nothings until the discomfort and pelvic pain from earlier came back, so Marlena adjusted herself into a leaning position, a pillow propped behind her back. “You know, when they talk about how wonderful pregnancy is, they don’t mention the pain and discomfort associated with it,” she half joked. “It’s going to be all worth it in the end though. You’ll be worth all the morning sickness, the exhaustion, crabbiness, the discomfort, and the pain.”

Looking to the coffee table she saw the paperwork she had been putting off all day. Although on maternity leave, there was a couple of things that Dr. Northrop had asked her to fill out, assuring her that there was no rush in returning them to her. With a heavy sigh she leaned over and took it all, laying it over her lap. “Mama has to get some work done if she wants to go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight,” she said, rubbing her stomach in circles, hoping the pain in her pelvis would lessen so she could concentrate.

After making progress with her work and completing some chores Marlena decided that she had done enough, and she needed to relax. She was only 36 weeks; she couldn’t believe she had roughly another 4 weeks of aching and discomfort to look forward to. Going up to her bedroom, she decided to run a warm bath in the hopes of relieving some of her discomfort. Within two minutes of being in the water, the baby gave a kick right into her ribs.

She spent the rest of the day doing some laundry and watching Wentworth on Netflix before getting ready for bed later on at night. After washing and moisturizing her face and neck, Marlena slipped on an old worn out t-shirt that used to belong to John. She couldn’t fit in any of her regular pajamas anymore, not that she would want to try anyways. Hardly ever finding comfort, she needed something loose.

She settled into bed with her phone, watching Youtube videos like she had been doing for the past few weeks. She liked to watch videos about delivery stories, loving hearing the different experiences each woman went through and hearing about the reward afterwards. In just a few short weeks she would be living her own ‘delivery story’.

Pausing a video mid-way, she decided to get up and get a snack. When she was rummaging through the cupboards to find something to satisfy her craving, she suddenly had this awful feeling wash over her. Taking a step back, she looked around the room, a little confused. She couldn’t put her finger on the why, but she felt dreadful about something.

Trying to shake off the feeling, she opened the door of the refrigerator when it hit her, and her heart sank. Both her hands went to her stomach! She hadn’t felt the baby move in a long time! When was the last time she felt him? He’s usually so active, she was sure he’d be an athlete, but she couldn’t recall feeling those little feet or hands hitting against her belly in a while. The last time was when she was in the bathtub. But why hadn’t she noticed sooner?? The pelvic pain! That’s why she hadn’t noticed the stillness inside of her, her pelvis hurt so much that she was too distracted.

Immediately starting to panic, she had to try to calm herself down. She was probably overreacting. Knowing what to do, she poured herself a glass of orange juice and another of cold water. This would get him moving, proving she was paranoid. Going up to lay down in her bedroom, she drank half of each glass and opened up the App on her phone that keeps track of the baby’s kicks. Now she waited. She lay there for a few minutes, holding her stomach protectively with both hands but nothing was happening.

Getting up, she went back down to the living room where she had left her medical bag on the couch. She pulled out the same stethoscope she had used earlier to listen to the baby. As she listened in, she was able to identify some muffled noises but nothing convincing enough to ease her worries. She went back upstairs and finished both glasses and tried again with the stethoscope.

After waiting a little while longer and feeling or hearing nothing significant, Marlena immediately called John. It wasn’t long until John arrived, barely putting his SUV into park when he jumped out and met Marlena in the lobby of the building.

They made it to the hospital as fast as possible where they proceeded to go straight up to the Labour and Delivery department. Unfortunately, Dr. Bader was not the physician on call that night, but the staff assured both parents that they would do their very best and that Dr. Cramer was very skilled at her job.

One of the nurses proceeded to hook Marlena up to machines, taking her vitals and monitoring the fetal heartbeat and movement. She looked to the one screen where it showed her vitals, her heart was racing. Was the baby going to be okay? As she lay there with her eyes closed, silently praying, she finally heard Thump, thump, thump, thump… “Oh thank god,” she said with a sigh of relief.

***

Not long after they were settled into the room, the doctor on call that night came back into the room, a somber expression on her face. She took a seat on the stool and wheeled it closer to the bed. “I’m a little concerned,” she revealed.

In that moment John went numb. He could see the doctor’s lips moving and he could see Marlena nodding her head, trying to keep it together, but his heart beat so hard and so loud that he could hear no words. It wasn’t until he felt Marlena squeezing at his hand for support that he returned.

“I think we should deliver this baby tonight,” John heard the doctor say when he checked back in. “I’m sorry, Marlena, but we’re going to have to perform a C-section.”

Marlena looked at the doctor in disbelief, emotions washing over her as she heard everything that the doctor had to say. The baby’s coming early! Oh! But we didn’t bring the bags and the nursery isn’t even finished yet, she thought all at once. Looking at John, she put her arm around his neck and pulled him closer, resting their foreheads together. “We’re going to meet our son,” she whispered.

Although scared, John nodded reassuringly. He took a hold of her free hand and placed a lasting kiss on it. “We’re going to have a baby.”

Soon they were pulled apart as the nurses proceeded to get the parents to be ready for the unplanned C-section. While they were getting Marlena to sign the consent forms, setting up the IV and explaining the procedure, another nurse was handing John some scrubs and advising him to change. When he was finally escorted into the OR, they were finishing up prepping Marlena for surgery.

They had a sheet up mid-line to her chest, keeping him from seeing Marlena’s face. It was only once he got closer and sat at her side did John fully see the fright covering her beautiful face. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Hey baby, are you ready?”

She took a deep breath and gave a stressed nod of the head, unconvincing as it was.

John could tell she was scared; her fists were clenched into tight little fists. “Hey, it’s okay. Everything is fine. It’s about time for our beautiful son to make his appearance.”

“We are just about to get this little guy out of here,” Dr. Cramer said.

Holding his breath, John leaned over and kissed Marlena on the head once again and grabbed her hand. They could hear Dr. Cramer ask for a scalpel.

“I’ll be right here with you the entire time,” he said against her clammy skin.

He wondered how she was keeping it together. As a doctor she knew more than he did, so she must understand exactly what was happening, know the severity of the situation, so why wasn’t she showing more fear?

Within minutes the surgery began. John made the mistake of looking over the sheet and he realized immediately that he shouldn’t have. He saw them cutting into Marlena’s stomach and he felt sick, however he managed to fight off the sickness as he sat back down on the stool.

Marlena sent up silent prayers as she lay there, helpless. She could feel no pain; however, she could feel the surgeon’s manipulations inside of her body, working hard at delivering their baby. She thought it was such a strange feeling. How she wished there wasn’t that stupid sheet separating them. She wanted to see her son as he was born. She knew there were complications, but she knew that they could fight through them.

Not being able to see a thing, she looked to John, hopeful.

He caught her look and whispered words of encouragement to her, never letting go of her hand. “It’s going to be okay, Doc.”

The doctor soon told Marlena that she would feel a lot of pressure on her chest but that feeling wouldn’t last long and then the baby would be out. What she said was no lie, she felt the definite pressure but soon relief came, followed by the doctor’s voice saying, “he’s here!”

Everything happened so fast, but in that moment, at 1:55 am, their son was born. The second Marlena felt that relief on her chest she knew right then that the baby was out, and tears sprang to her eyes as she looked at John with love.

~ The End ~